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savingthrcw · 1 year ago

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Neria Surana

real world fc: Katherine McNamara (none of the icons were made by me, so size may vary). I don't have videogame icons. Also I only played Dragon Age 2 once, with a mage Hawke, so I don't know all potential backstories and relationships well! Same with remembering the exact order of events and locations in DAI.

elf mage at the time of DAO, permanently magic-less after the last battle (see about) // never picked first, never the best friend, never the priority // anti-blood magic // anti Circle now, & templars in Circles & racists (against elves even if they are elves themselves) & most institutions if they come with a set of rules that you aren't meant to discuss, because she will want to discuss them, and this includes Grey Wardens rules too // pro-heroics and friendship and love and mabaris // if she's betrayed she won't forgive it nor let it go // she mostly uses fire and lightening magic plus her enchanted one-handed sword // pro-apostates if they aren't hurting anyone, pro mages, will leave nice templars alone if they aren't involved in oppression of mages, she won't be against anyone just because they are part of a specific category unless the category is inherently harmful //

Her story, so you can interact with Neria without having to plot: you can just read the bolded bits! When I mention a character it'll be implicit that 'if you play them disregard this because we'll build their relationship together'.

-she makes up lies about her family if she doesn't know you well, but: even if she was already six when she was brought to the Circle she doesn't remember anything before then. She knows something very wrong must have gone down. She's right.

-felt a daughter's love for Irving, and thought they had a mutual familial relationship going and found ways to spend time with him, looking up to him and searching for his approval. Unable to stand life trapped in a tower when so naturally intrigued by adventure and by the world outside, she had to build up their relationship in her head and lie to herself about how she felt, so that she'd endure it without going crazy. Which also meant blind-loyalty and faith in the Circle, and believing the world had her best interest in mind: if she couldn't go out, it meant she shouldn't. The Chantry and the templars must be right about everything unless Irving disagrees with something they were doing. -Despite this, when her friend Jowan asks for her help to escape with Lily, she doesn't go tell Irving but decides to help - because it's for love. She's a romantic and she longs for freedom, so of course she'll help him and have her own phylactery destroyed too, in the back of her mind she's not okay with templars being able to track her down. When Jowan betrays them using blood magic of all things, leaving her and Lily horrified, Irving immediately agrees she should be punished, just as if she were any other student. Because to him she is. That's when it all comes crashing down on her: she doesn't have a big family in the Circle, she doesn't have a father in Irving, she was betrayed and left behind by Jowan and Irving doesn't care, she may have her personality wiped too via Tranquility, given that she doesn't miss an occasion to fight with Greagoir and she's going to be blamed for aiding a blood mage, and it changes her. Because she has to admit that she brainwashed herself.

-when she joins the Wardens it's with pettiness, so she can slap it on Irving and Greagoir's faces too, but quickly it becomes about saving people. She does get immediately attached to Duncan (and Alistair) as well, deep down still trying to find out where her father-figure is supposed to be. When Loghain betrays them all, he signs his death sentence. She'll be relentless.

-in conversations she tries to be as nice as possible (to her companions) not just because "Friendship!" which is initially not even a goal anymore, but to keep people on her side because she needs them. This is why she may not show how much she disapproves of certain comments/beliefs from her companions: she doesn't like when Morrigan is unhappy to help other people they meet, she doesn't believe in the Maker but won't be harsh with Leiana about it (though she's not exactly close to her either), she doesn't like killing people but won't sound judgy when Zevran tries to figure out how she feels about it all, and the reason she gets far closer to him than she does to Morrigan is that he flirts a lot and pays her compliments, and that endeared him to her, so she ended up sharing way more conversations with him (despite that, she bought Morrigan's friendship with gifts, and still went to "kill" her mother for her). She's not too personally close to Oghren, but she does have drinks with him every now and then. She doesn't harden anyone and helps them in their personal missions.

-She's always laughing, joking around, and running towards adventure and towards saving people, repressing bad feelings and traumas while encouraging others to vent, accepts Alistair's decision that she should be in charge with some reluctance at first, but then it grows on her. She tries not to make any new enemies and is very diplomatic, and that makes all the more jarring how bitter, dark and rage-y she gets when Jowan (or the Circle) is involved: later she allows him to leave in Redcliffe -wanted him to help with the mess but he wouldn't, so she just wants him to leave her alone- though she's furious the entire time, goes into the fade to save Connor herself, finally leaves him to Teagan who imprisons him again.

-Sometimes her facade breaks and it's obvious that she is full of anger, especially when it comes to the Circle. Despite this, she's also sincerely attached to Wynne (because let's be honest, she's looking for a mother-figure too, she can't help herself, and generally listens to her wisdom except when it comes to her own choices in friendship and romance). She gets violent about elves being treated badly, will defend mages and apostates: after the Circle she doesn't believe in 'organized magic' anyway, "if they want to stay out of that prison, they should".

-There is a lot of being cute with Alistair regardless of where the relationship goes because she can't resist a Soft Boy [she's platonic with everyone by default] also confirms if he asks that she did have intimate encounters before. Or licked a lampost, as he put it. Not for love, but because why not. Surprisingly it's Zevran of all people who awakens her protective instincts the most, especially after he shares more of his life.

-She saves everyone in her path or tries to, which also means Stein and Shale are joining the team. She finds them hilarious most of the time, especially Shale, she never misses an opportunity to hear her opinion. She's not as close to Morrigan and Leiana because they both feel too extreme in their beliefs to her. Usually she takes Alistair, Wynne and Zevran out with her, the ones she's closest to (besides Shale, but for some reason they've decided they always have a four-people team when scouting so she can only take the other three, otherwise she'd always hang out with her too). Loves staying at camp, plays with her mabari "Dog" all the time. She'd die for her dog Dog. They are all allowed to notice she's repressing a lot while genuinely caring for them.

-while she encourages Alistair to become king, she respects he doesn't want to. Even so, she doesn't trust anyone in Loghain's family so in the end she convinces him to take the crown (any Alistair player can choose otherwise): if they are in a romantic relationship she'll be with him as his wife, and be in charge if he doesn't want to be, if they aren't then as an advisor who will do the job until he's ready. Anora is imprisoned if Neria has any say in it. Loghain is executed by Alistair. Her final (non canon) suggestion is to appoint a regent who will actually rule while they still live as Wardens, he can retire and be king later.

-There is a truce between Dalish and werewolves but only after Zathrian is convinced to sacrifice himself. She helps Bhelen in Orzammar (I have very few memories of this quest as I always try to get past it as quickly as possible, but I remember one important thing about the dwarfs-quests: she does help Dagna with her dream even if she warns her against the Circle). She saves the mages at the circle too and it's a bitter time, because as much as she'd like to agree with Cullen and kill them all 'just to be safe' she knows that's not the way. Speaking of which Cullen was someone she found cute, and she flirted playfully (only for him to run away) - she never realized he actually liked her (apparently she looked for affection in all the wrong places).

-Scenario A, automatic if she's the leader and you don't ask me for scenario B (below): while she's ready to die for the Cause and wants to kill the Archdemon herself after deciding that she won't force Alistair to sleep with Morrigan, she can't stand the fact that Alistair will sacrifice himself for her. Which is exactly what happens the first time around. After Alistair dies for her, she goes to an imprisoned Jowan, forcing him to send her back into the fade so she can get the right demon to help her change what happened, transferring her memories to her past self so she'll make a better choice; it's once again the night before the last fight, and this time around the ritual is performed. She strikes the Archdemon down herself. Both she and Jowan remember this. In exchange for such a monumental spell/curse, her magic is gone forever. She does have enchanted swords thanks to Sandal, whom she cares for very much, but she can't access her own magic. The demon who gave her the curse hopes she'll come back to accept the deal they offered: share her body so she can cast spells again, because no magic user can just cut off that part of themselves and not long to have it back. They underestimated the fact that she did it for love (be it romantic or familial), she didn't give up her magic to be accepted by others or because she thought it evil.

This canon divergence is because Neria's writer, me, had no idea Alistair would die, so she went back to an earlier save and changed things, and I wanted to reflect that. If you rather NOT accept this divergence please ask me for the SCENARIO B, which is also automatic if Neria is a follower: (she will convince Alistair to perform the ritual so they can both survive if she's the Hero), but later will lose access to her magic by making a deal with a demon to save a loved one's life: it can absolutely be your muse if you play someone who was in DAO, or by default it will be Zevran (if you play Zevran and you don't want this it will be Shale, and maybe that's also how she's turned back from Golem to human). She doesn't regret it one bit but it hurts like hell not to have a part of herself anymore. And she will take off without explaining anything to her friends, to deal.

-She now also remembers that the first time her magic showed was when the bad men came to the alienage to take her mother away, and her fire magic exploded. She blew up half the street and killed everyone else in the process, including her parents.

-There should be no reason why characters from DA2 can't bump into the Hero of Ferelden, though she's not publicizing herself as such and is re-learning how to be part of the world without magic. By default, for DAI characters, she was reached by a letter written by Leiana (or by Morrigan if you play Leiana) and showed up to give a hand but sort of incognito. It's been ten years, she has definitely learned how to fight without magic and more tricks from her former team. She was looking for a cure to the Callings around Thedas and was close when she thought she had reached her time, but Neria being Neria and anti-believing in what the Enstablishment says (in this case the Grey Wardens lore??) she waited and figured out it was fake. That also pushed her to return to Ferelden and check on Alistair first, then on this new Inquisition. She's not taking charge but she knows her reputation may help the Inquisitor in keeping people hopeful.

If she's a follower/companion she's found in Lothering after surviving Ostagar, taken there by a mage who found her unconscious; Duncan didn't have time to introduce her to the HoF but Alistair has likely seen her once or twice in passing, she hasn't been a Warden for long. But she needs to have had her Jowan storyline or a nearly identical one in which Irving is ready to have her punished for helping a friend who claimed not to be a blood mage but was lying, since it's vital to her development, so she's been saved by Duncan too; you can see what kind of advice she'd give by reading her choices here but she's all for saving people EVEN when they are pro/work in the Circle.

#about neria

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viiisenyas · 2 years ago

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I know I posted like two days ago, BUT I finished up Cullen’s POV of my ‘Destruction of Lothering’ Chapter and I figured I’d share it. I honestly felt bad for him. For like a second. Warnings: Torture

He was silent as he stored the letter addressed to Trevelyan’s mother in the small chest full of Elliott’s scarce belongings. He volunteered to pack The Knight-Corporal’s things to send them back to Ostwick as the other Knights tended their duties.

He hadn’t left the Templar quarters in days. It was the only place where he felt peace after the mages returned from Ostagar. Rumours grew legion among them— whispers of the Tevinter’s disappearance and Trevelyan’s desertion. But Cullen knew better. It was a ridiculous assumption. Elliott didn’t abandon the Order— he never would. He was proud to serve the Chantry and the Maker.

The memory of his last interaction with Elliott pressed into the forefront of his mind. He remembered reporting the Tevinter’s frequent excursions with Amell to Trevelyan after the Harvestmere celebration when he saw them again. He remembered Trevelyan’s eyes narrowing, jaw clenching.

Are you certain of this, Rutherford? I saw them, Trevelyan. We must to bring this to Greaigor’s attention. And why haven’t you done anything about it?

Elliott narrowed his eyes as Cullen paused and cast his gaze downward. He didn’t want to admit that his curiosity of her got the best of him. He didn’t want to admit that he floundered in his duty in favour of his desires.

Andraste’s ashes, Cullen. First Surana, now the Tevinter?

Cullen’s expression soured at the mention of the elf. He didn’t mean to kill her.

You said you wouldn’t speak of her again. I cleaned up your mess when I disposed of her body for you, didn’t I?

Trevelyan scoffed, and ran his fingers through his golden hair before folding his arms over his chest.

Look, Irving will do anything to protect his precious little mages, especially that Amell. Informing the Knight-Commander won’t solve your little problem. What are you going to do, then? What you should have done. Greaigor mentioned that she’s going to Ostagar, as am I. She will be dealt with. You aren’t going to kill her, are you? What I decide to do with her is none of your concern, Rutherford.

Cullen gritted his teeth as he closed the chest. He wasn’t sure what Trevelyan was planning, but it was obvious that it didn’t work out in his favour. His mind began to reel with the many possibilities regarding his disappearance, and each conclusion centred around the Tevinter’s hidden malice. Her seemingly innocent nature, soft-spoken words, and doe eyes— it was all a façade.

And Amell’s betrayal of the Circle in favour of another blood mage became all the more clear as Cullen recalled his departure just a week following hers. It was far too well-timed to be a simple coincidence. Their passing of notes, longing gazes at one another... their meetings in the caverns. He didn’t think much of it, then. Now it all made sense. She planned the perfect diversion right under his nose. And in spite of his actions, that weasel still managed to evade punishment for his crimes under the protection of the Wardens.

What wickedness did they plan together against the Order? Was a demon lying dormant within her this whole time?

Distant screams echoing from the stairwell interrupted his thoughts and the air grew cold. Hurried footsteps ascended, growing louder from behind the door, and Cullen’s eyes widened. The door flew open, and he watched as the Knights clamoured, pouring into the quarters.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Cullen exclaimed.

“Uldred has gone mad! They’ve all gone mad!” A Templar cried, slamming the door shut, “Abominations lurk within the tower!”

Cullen’s heartbeat drummed in his ears as blood rushed to his head. His stomach lurched in fear as he heard more shouts resonating from behind the door. The Templar Hall was in complete chaos as the Knights scrambled to barricade the door with bookshelves.

The Knight-Templar quickly rushed to help them. He braced his palms against the sturdy wood and pressed against it with all his strength as he gritted his teeth. The gargantuan bookcase groaned before it toppled in front of the door with a deafening crash.

“There’s too many of them— This won’t hold them off!” A Templar-Recruit sobbed. He was only eighteen.

“Get ahold of yourself, Uriah!” Cullen barked as he clasped the boy’s shoulders, “Remember your training!”

“Where is the Knight-Commander?” Cullen shouted above the rabble.

“Greaigor sealed the doors in the apprentice quarters,” Another Templar answered, “Dieter and I tried to get out, but he refused to open up!”

If he’s already sealed the doors then that means...

Heavy thumps could be heard from behind the bookcase, and he realised more people were attempting to get in. He wasn’t sure if they were mages or more Templars and his stomach twisted once more.

“They are coming!” Uriah whimpered.

Cullen gripped the hilt of his sword, fighting the urge to shiver. The sharp ring of steel reverberated as he unsheathed his blade, and the other Templars followed suit. He could see them trembling with fear, and the Knight-Templar steeled his resolve.

“Come, now. Let us in,” Uldred’s voice was muffled behind the door, “We only want to talk, dear Knights.”

There was a shift in the air and an eerie hum began to drone. Cullen observed the other knights hesitantly lowering their blades. As if in a trance, Uriah dropped his sword, letting it clatter on the stone. The Templars slowly began to walk towards the door and Cullen blanched.

“What are you fools doing?!”

His exclamation was ignored. Cullen quickly moved towards Uriah, grabbing his wrist. The boy turned to look at him. His brown eyes were wide with fear and a single tear rolled down his pallid cheek.

“I-I c-can’t…” Uriah started, “I must do this.”

A whisper sounded from Cullen’s left. It was soft, beckoning with gentleness.

I know what it is you want, Knight-Templar. Let us in, and we will give you what you long for.

His joints popped as his body was stretched, and Cullen cried out, miserably behind the dirty handkerchief that had been stuffed into his mouth.

“Now, now, Felicity…” Uldred tutted above him, “We don’t want to maim him just yet.”

The Senior Enchanter turned the wheel of the mechanism, and dread gripped the Knight-Templar’s heart. He could feel his muscles threatening to tear as he was being moved perpendicular to the ground. His weight betrayed his arms, and he let out an agonised growl through the cloth. He clenched his eyes shut and hot tears streamed down his cheeks.

Cullen opened his eyes, breathing heavily as anger rose within him, and he fixed his gaze on the younger mage. His pleading expression went ignored, and he realised that whatever good that existed in her was long gone when her hazel eyes met his, and her full lips curved down into a malevolent scowl. She was always courteous to the Knights, always eager to assist.

He remembered her volunteering to send off the letters he’d written to his family. A kindred spirit, she was. But he was proven to be wrong in his assumptions about her, and the gentle light that beamed through her eyes diminished. All that remained was pure malice.

She was supposed to be good.

“Just kill me.” Cullen whimpered, voice muffled behind the gag.

“What was that?” Uldred taunted, arching a dark brow.

Cullen repeated himself. Mid-sentence, Uldred pulled the handkerchief from between his teeth.

“…Kill me.”

“Kill you?” Uldred chuckled, “No, that won’t do… You will watch as you have watched before, Knight-Templar.” Uldred hissed, grasping his jaw.

Cullen exclaimed as electricity stung his flesh, and his breath hitched. The Senior Enchanter extended his arm in the direction ahead of him and Cullen’s eyes widened in horror as he saw Uriah being freed from the barrier that the blood mages had erected around him.

The boy was delirious, and he swayed as he walked forward before he collapsed.

“Strip him!” Felicity barked.

Cullen’s stomach lurched as three mages crowded around Uriah, and they quickly dismantled Uriah’s armour from his body, just as they had done to him. They ripped his tunic, baring the alabaster flesh of his back and Felicity slid her gaze to Cullen. His bruised lips fell open when she winked, and her mouth twisted into a chilling grin.

Felicity turned on her heel, slowly approaching the others and an elven enchanter handed her the familiar whip that Cullen once saw Trevelyan wielding.

“No! Don’t do this to him, please!” Cullen cried, “He’s just a boy!”

The Templar struggled against the iron that bound his wrists to the platform, and groaned once more, slumping forward in defeat. His entire body ached with hunger and exhaustion.

She ignored his plea as she unravelled the cords. Cullen turned away and shut his eyes before Uldred shocked him again.

“You will watch.”

A crack emitted in the air as Felicity swung the cords. Uriah howled in agony as she struck his back.

“Stop,” Cullen said, weakly.

Another strike. And another. His flesh slowly peeled from his back as the mage viciously flogged him, and Uriah called out for his mother. Cullen’s heart dropped. Many mages had done the same when Elliott and Biff disciplined them. But this was different. It was unprovoked. Undeserving.

Mere minutes felt like hours and Uriah finally slumped forward, and a sick sound rattled in his throat. Felicity pressed the sole of her boot against his back before the boy began to sob.

“Death is too good for you, Ser Knight. I have plans for you.” Uldred released his jaw and stepped away from him.

Cullen fixed his brown eyes to the ceiling and a wave of dizziness overcame him. His skin heated and sweat began to form on his brow. His mouth became dry before a familiar rancid taste coated his tongue, yet nothing came. His stomach had already voided time and again throughout the long week that he had suffered at the hands of the blood mages.

The sound of clinking emitted from below, but Cullen had neither the strength nor the will to turn his gaze. He could feel Uldred’s hands on his ankle, and he realised his shackles were being removed. The Templar felt no relief as he knew what was to come next.

#i physically cringed when i got to the 'undeserving part'#but it fit #*hefty shrug*#wip whenever #while all of this is happening amell is helping bann teagan in redcliffe just to give some context ig

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umbry-fic · 3 years ago

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And My Love Blooms For You

Summary: Hanahaki isn't always what it's made out to be.

Or: An exploration of Hanahaki from each character's perspective, and what it means to them.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Colette Brunel, Lloyd Irving, Genis Sage, Raine Sage, Regal Bryant, Kratos Aurion, Mithos Yggdrasill, Martel Yggdrasill, Presea Combatir, Sheena Fujibayashi, Zelos Wilder, Yuan Ka-Fai Relationships: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving, Sheena Fujibayashi/Zelos Wilder, Genis Sage/Mithos Yggdrasill (one-sided), Genis Sage & Mithos Yggdrasill, Regal Bryant/Alicia Combatir, Regal Bryant & Presea Combatir, Presea Combatir & Alicia Combatir, Mithos Yggdrasill & Martel Yggdrasill, Yuan Ka-Fai/Martel Yggdrasill, Seles Wilder & Zelos Wilder, Kratos Aurion/Anna Irving, Sheena Fujibayashi/Orochi (one-sided) Rating: G Word Count: 6124 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 09/12/2020

Notes+Warnings: Slight mentions of blood.

A Hanahaki fic covering the whole cast! Read to the end for the flower meanings.

~~~

Hanahaki wasn't all it was made out to be.

Genis had heard the over-romanticised stories numerous times from his classmates: girls with moony smiles who whispered about how it was a show of true love, and boys who laughed it off as too cheesy even as they held curious glints in their eyes.

Hanahaki was none of those.

Not to Genis, who had to hold the bowl in front of his sister every morning and night. Who had to watch her throw up forget-me-nots, as blue as their eyes. All of the flowers she hid in her throat during the school day, fighting to escape but held back through practice and pure willpower alone.

Flowers that would have been considered beautiful under any other circumstance, but which sent only shivers of fear and shame down his spine at the sight of those blue petals.

What did it say about them, he wondered, that this had long since grown routine? The Raine he’d known had always had roots embedded in her lungs as she mourned their parents' love. When he'd been too young to understand, she’d done much of this herself. Forced the flowers out in the morning and night, bent over the sink, hacking and choking.

Some days, he was glad he hadn't known their parents after all.

It was cruel, to desire a love so much that it was hurting her. A love that she could never receive, but whose phantom could never be forgotten.

On the days when Raine had to wash blood out of the sink, he wished they could be found, just so his sister could stop suffering like she had all these years.

But that was nothing more than a childish dream.

After all, there was no guarantee they were still loved.

Funny, that even though the girls from class all excitedly wished to meet someone with Hanahaki, clamouring on and on about how it would be so romantic, they would do nothing but shy away from the two of them if they knew the truth.

It was something they would always have to hide.

They'd lied and said they were elves, here in this world where being a half-elf was punished by death. They could never reveal the truth.

For elves couldn’t get Hanahaki.

~~~

"Hanahaki, a disease where flowers grow in the lungs of the afflicted because they are experiencing unrequited love towards someone. While it is widely associated with romantic love, it can manifest due to familial love. It can even appear because of the deceased.”

“The speed at which the flowers grow and the severity of their effects differs greatly. Cases involving the deceased very rarely involve death, but instead remain for life. Death of the target of affection may sometimes cause the flowers to cease appearing entirely, though the roots remain in the lungs.”

“Hanahaki can only be cured by having one's affections returned or removing the roots from the lungs entirely, which will render that emotion removed as well.”

“It seems that Hanahaki only affects some. It has never been seen among elves, only half-elves and those who carry their blood. It has been derided by the elves as another sign of tainted blood."

Sebastian watched silently as the Young Master closed the book, turning to stare sullenly out of the window at the dark streets of Meltokio.

"So it's because I'm Chosen that I contracted this?" Zelos muttered.

"You had a higher chance, Young Master. It was simply unfortunate that you came to have it." Sebastian answered, knowing that wasn't the full truth.

The Young Master was too kind. Even after all the beatings, the screaming, the neglect, the Young Master continued to love his mother.

Love her, even if she never loved him back, had never wanted him in the first place.

"And -" Zelos is interrupted by a rack of coughing, causing him to double over. Sebastian rushed over in concern, but Zelos straightened back up, wiping away the blood-red petals from his mouth. They looked almost like tiny little blood splatters.

Like the blood that had to be wiped off Zelos’ face after he had been pulled, screaming, away from his mother’s dead body.

"According to this, it'll get better, right? So it won't… kill me?"

Oh, Zelos. Why is it that you don’t sound scared, but instead... sad?

"If it hurts, Young Master, we can have it removed," Sebastian suggested, laying his hand gently on Zelos' shoulder.

Zelos flinched away, hand curling protectively over the blood-red petals.

"No!" Zelos resolutely shook his head, turning desperate eyes on Sebastian. "If I have it… then it means there's a chance Mother loved me too, right? And I know it won’t do for the public to know, but I’ll hide it! I’ll hide it so well, no one else will ever know!”

Sebastian wanted to protest. To tell his Young Master that Hanahaki was nothing like all the romance novels made them out to be. It wasn't pure, but a twisted representation of love.

But faced with his Young Master's suddenly too bright eyes, he remembers that even though the Young Master sometimes seemed far older than his young age, there were times when he was still a child.

Still a child, desperately craving a mother's love.

And who was he to deny his Master's wishes?

"As you wish, Young Master," Sebastian acquiesces, bowing and leaving.

He doesn't comment on the final whispered sentence that drifts across the quiet of the library.

"And if she loved me, then it wasn't my fault, right?"

~~~

Mithos has hated the sight of flowers since he'd come to understand where all the pretty ones his sister gave him came from.

He doesn't understand how Martel can still love the Mother that drove them out of Heimdall, who had forced her to grow up far too early, to witness things no teenage girl should just so she could raise him safely.

Doesn’t understand how Martel can still have a smile on her face when she tells Yuan about Heimdall, about Ymir Forest, about her old home. It has never been home to him. Home is the warmth of Martel’s embrace, the stories she told him at night, and the words of praise she had for him whenever he learns a new spell.

Well and truly doesn’t understand how she can look upon the yellow zinnias in her hands not with anger, but with a quiet sadness and nostalgia.

To him, it’s meaningless: something to be forgotten and thrown away. Any association with Heimdall, with love, with romance. Especially Hanahaki, just another thing that the elves use to mock them, that the world uses to condemn them.

He tolerates the idiotic way Yuan courts his sister. He makes her happy, and that’s all Mithos wants.

When the zinnias finally stop appearing in the middle of their journey to stop the war, he's happy. Relieved that, at long last, his sister would no longer have to carry this burden.

He doesn’t realise that it could have a deeper meaning, not until he realises how quiet his sister is being. Not until he notices the little concerned looks Kratos and Yuan keep directing her way, how Yuan keeps approaching her by the bonfire at night, much to his annoyance.

It takes him longer than it should, what with his distaste of Hanahaki, to realise that his parents are dead.

The people who brought him into this world were dead.

Was he meant to feel remorse for experiencing not a single ounce of grief?

He did not mourn his parents, for he had never known them. He had only ever known them as the source of crumpled yellow flowers and his sister’s lifelong pain.

How could she miss them?

She'd told him, with a gentle smile on her face as she'd placed the final flower in his hair, that he'd understand better when he was older.

Why she wanted to remember.

Now he understood.

How ironic, he thought, as he choked up the same zinnia, but red. He wondered if the shade matched the blood that had flowed freely from his sister’s body during her last moments.

In the end, these accursed flowers had gotten him too.

And he would never let them go. He would let the roots wind their way through his lungs and around his heart, again and again. He would collect each petal and flower, a keepsake of grief and pain.

He would never let them go, not until she was back to put her arms around him and tell him -

Tell him that she loved him and that everything was alright.

~~~

Yuan is intimately familiar with Hanahaki. He’s pulled many thousands of hyacinths out of his own throat over these long 4000 years, remembering green eyes: shining with tears, sparkling with happiness, and filled with the warmest love he had ever known.

They were the same flowers he had given to Martel at her wedding. The same flowers that Kratos had helped braid into both their hairs. The same flowers that they had barely convinced a grumpy Mithos to wear in his hair.

The same flowers which seemed to spill from his throat, on nights that he would sit in his office and rub at the worn ring around his finger and remember.

And the same flowers he would lay at her grave, once this was all over.

It’s one of the last things he has in common with Mithos, he supposes. The memories of a woman long dead and the flowers they bring.

But now their intentions are the exact opposite, and he knows it won’t be long before they’re at each other’s throats. And on some nights, he wonders if there’ll be any flowers for Mithos.

There aren’t any now. That’s because Yuan knows that Mithos still loves. It’s the one thing that hasn’t changed. And holding onto that so desperately is what has warped Mithos so far beyond recognition.

But once Mithos was dead, would there be any?

Flowers for the bright young boy who had been broken by the world at too young an age, who had been the little brother Yuan had never known he wanted.

Would it be worse, since it would be by his hand?

But even then, with all his knowledge of Hanahaki, the sight of green flowers leaving what had once been his best friend still shocked him.

Green lilies. It had been so long since he’d thought Kratos was even capable of feeling anymore. To see him now, hair still wet from the storm, hands still stained with blood, choking up green lilies and unable to even cry, was a terrible shock.

He knew now the answer to his question. It would be worse. Far, far worse.

If Martel could see them now, how would she feel? All of those she had loved, inexplicably linked by the roots sprouting in their lungs that once, only she had known.

He watched as Mithos’ lip curled in contempt, watched as Mithos laughed, a deranged sound that bore no likeness to the teasing, happy laughter of the 14-year-old boy he had once known.

He watched and did nothing.

Nothing, as his friend closed in on himself, the flowers trickling to a stop as Kratos stopped feeling again.

Stopped resembling anything human.

Martel had been the only one to look upon her affliction with a quiet fondness. Mithos saw it as a reminder to cling to.

He wonders if Kratos sees it the same way as him.

Punishment. Punishment for failing to save Martel, for continuing to condemn her.

In the end, she'd been a better person than all three of them.

Hanahaki wasn’t something he would have wished upon Kratos. In some ways, he was glad that his friend had been spared the same suffering he and Mithos experienced.

But, watching him now, lifeless…

Was it better to have loved and lost, or to not have loved at all?

~~~

“Zelos,” Seles said sharply, easily finding him in the side room of the Abbey.

It was comical to her, the way Zelos tried to hide what he’d been doing with a look of panic on his face. Like it would be any use. She knew the signs better than anyone.

“Who are the irises for?” She asked, crossing her arms as she leaned against the wall. Faking disinterest even as she burned to know who it was that her brother could love like this.

“The…” Zelos trailed off, staring at the flowers in his hand. “Ah.” A look of relief flashed across his face, quickly hidden by a smirk. One she so hated, for it was nothing like the brother she’d known and every bit like the arrogant Chosen she heard so much about. “And who do you think they’re for, Seles?”

She kicked the door, her lip curling. “Some random tramp who’s the latest to catch your attention, certainly. Don’t tell me it’s that witch.”

It’s far, far deeper than that. Hanahaki didn’t just appear for a fling.

She laughed. “I wasn’t even aware you could feel love, brother.”

She fixed him with a stare, daring him to tell her the truth. The truth they both knew, deep down, but would never tell each other -

He shrugged, an easy-going smile on his face. “Well, I’m certain of one thing: she’s a beauty!”

It was easier this way. She knew this, but still -

“Not… going to ask about the rest?” He asked, his gaze challenging her the same way hers had, moments ago.

“I don’t need to. Knowing you, you’ve just fallen in love with three of your hunnies.” She answered, distaste dripping from her voice.

She doesn’t need to ask. She knew. She had still been there to watch him spit out the carnation petals, red as blood, a memory of the day their entire world had shattered.

And the other…

“Mm, well, not like I can help it!” And the Idiot Chosen was back. Seles couldn’t tell if she was thankful or not. Couldn’t tell whether she wanted to laugh or cry at the hint of relief in his voice.

By the Church’s decree, they could never be siblings. One locked in a physical prison and another allowed to be free. How could they?

She couldn’t let go of the envy in her heart, the anger, to admit that all she wanted -

All she wanted was to be able to go home, to her brother.

Even as she ignored the image of asters, fresh in her mind, she knows who they’re for. Even if she wouldn’t admit it to herself, even if her brother would never tell her the truth. They’re both the same, at the end of the day.

After all, she had never told him about the orange acacias she would cough up, day after day.

They were a well-kept secret, and a fact to be denied.

~~~

"Sheena! You OK in there?" He asked politely, rapping on the door.

"I'm - " Sheena's reply was interrupted by a spate of coughing, and Orochi has to hold himself back from throwing the door open. He knows what he’ll see, and he wants so desperately to put a stop to it.

The door slid open, and Sheena smiles at him. It’s a smile as fake as the ones she'd put on in the months after the Volt incident.

It’s nothing like the vibrant smiles he’d seen, the weeks when she'd still gone to Meltokio.

"I'm fine, Orochi. It's just a cold, I promise. You need to stop worrying about me!"

"I'll always worry about you, Sheena. You're practically family. I'm sure Kuchinawa feels the same."

More, he wants to say.

I feel more for you than family. Or even just a friend.

He knows it's futile. The pink camellias she tried so hard to hide are not for him. How could they be? She’d never seen him as more than a childhood friend.

He remembers when she had complained about an idiotic boy with flaming red hair. How she had said such scathing words with bright eyes, shining with another emotion he hadn't wanted to name. When she had finally come home, dejected and withdrawn, and the coughing had begun.

Orochi wonders what he'll do if he ever sees the Chosen.

He wanted to wrap his hands around the other's throat, choke the life out of him the same way these flowers were slowly killing Sheena.

But that would just make it worse, wouldn’t it?

He stood back and watched as Sheena left, calling for Corinne. Watched as she placed a single camellia behind the summon spirit's ear, a gentle expression on her face.

Sometimes, he wondered what it would be like if he could get Hanahaki.

Would it be enough to show that he did love her?

~~~

“Chosen.”

"Mister Kratos?" Colette asked curiously, wondering why he was still awake. The night watch was hers tonight, he had no reason to stay up.

And even if she was spending most of it sitting next to Lloyd, it's not like she would fall asleep.

She couldn’t, not anymore.

Then again, neither does he.

"Kratos is fine, Chosen." His eyes are not on her but Lloyd. She wondered if she had imagined it: the hint of tenderness there.

"And we shouldn't talk here," Kratos said, eyes drifting up to hers. There was a knowing look in his eyes, one that told her that… That he knew.

Knew how she would nervously swallow past all the flowers gathering in her throat, knew how she continued to stick by Lloyd's side even if she shouldn't, even if just the sight of him made her heart soar as the pain in her chest worsened.

How, she didn’t know. But even as they moved further towards the forest, she continued to swallow. To swallow hard against the flowers stuck in her throat in her last-ditch attempt to conceal them.

She remembered when she'd first coughed up a gerbera daisy, the very night before she’d left for the Journey of Regeneration. The night before she would leave Lloyd behind forever.

So that he could be safe.

So that he could forget her, could move on and be happy in the world that she had saved.

She remembered clutching it to her chest under the moon, glad that even if she never got to see him again, she would at least have this reminder of him. The daisy from the fields that he used to weave into flower crowns, just for her.

She'd been terrified when, all of a sudden, there he was, running towards her in the middle of the Triet Desert. How she'd run toward him, her traitorous heart leaping -

The sharp pain as the daisies had made their presence known, and how she'd had to swallow them back down even as she'd thrown her arms around him, wanting to hold him close and never let go.

Because she would have to let go, eventually, and walk away. Because he could never know she loved him, for she did not want to burden him with that knowledge. And if there was one thing she was glad of, it was that she would offer up her life for Sylvarant before the flowers claimed it.

They would be her pretty little secret, taken to her grave. The final acknowledgement of her love, as well as punishment for having dared to love him at all.

She had been born to become an angel, after all, and angels did not love mortals.

"You don't have to hide, Chosen."

She watched in astonishment as he gently coughed up a green lily, beautiful and dainty.

Oh.

She gave up the pretence then, bending over and hacking up dozens of petals, followed by full daisies. It hurt, as they forced their way through her throat.

It hurt, and she deserved it.

But still, it was a relief to finally be rid of them. Here, under the moon once again.

She continued to cough up petals, surprise filling her as she felt Kratos’ hand gently rub her back.

It’s another moment of surprising kindness from the taciturn mercenary. It’s these little moments that kept sticking out to her, that didn’t quite add up to the image of an uncaring mercenary that only came along for the monetary reward.

She wiped her mouth free of the final petals. “What are your flowers for?” She asked, wondering if he would even answer and what that answer could be.

One of hope, despair, guilt or love.

“Atonement. They used to be a sign of atonement, for failing. A sign of the sin I had committed.”

She wondered if one day, both of them could be allowed to look upon her flowers without pain constantly twisting at their hearts.

She caught the gentle smile, the gaze back towards the campsite.

“It’s a reminder. Of what I have to protect.”

She thinks, much, much later, that the answer had always been obvious.

~~~

They may think that all he does is flirt shamelessly and act like a fool, but he’s always been watching. Observing, silently.

Zelos knew Colette suffered from the same. The way she looked at Lloyd, the errant coughs she hid or explained away, reminded him so much of himself. It just made him want to get away, to not have to look upon a sight as pitiful as this, knowing that he’s worse.

So he covered up his pain with jokes and idiotic actions, attracting attention even as no one ever really saw him.

No one ever noticed the time he spent spitting up petals and full flowers, one after another, blood mixed in with the reds, whites and blues.

He suspected Raine might have it as well, from some of the subtle movements she did. The silent communication she and Genis did sometimes, in that strange way only two people who intimately knew each other could. He envies them, for it’s something he and Seles never had.

Raine is far more skilful at hiding it, however. He almost didn’t pick up on it. How long has she had to practice?

How long has she had to hurt, with the roots snaking their way through her lungs, flowers catching on her throat as they forced their way out -

Had she ever felt the same way? Watched the flowers come up one by one and realised they were killing him now: the love he felt for three people who would never love him back. Knowing he didn’t deserve their love, but continuing to desire it anyway, even if that desire would eventually kill him.

And wasn’t that what it meant to be human? To desire the things one could never have?

Sometimes, he just wanted the whole world to go away. He would contemplate what life would be like if everyone truly were lifeless. No love, no hate, nothing -

He laughed, on the nights he couldn’t sleep, where every time he closed his eyes all he could see was the snow, stained red with blood.

On the nights he could no longer sleep, the Cruxis Crystal seeming to burn against his skin.

He would laugh, thinking about Sheena. How she had always prided herself on her ability to pick up on the subtle things. And yet, she had never realised the truth.

And he would keep it that way.

And sometimes, in the true dead of night, he would think about the tiny little moments where it seemed like Sheena -

But no, that couldn’t be right.

She could never love him, for he had broken her fragile heart, long ago. She felt nothing but hatred toward him now, as he had made it.

As he had desired it. As he deserved.

~~~

“Presea…?”

Presea clutched the gladiolus petals to her chest, not willing to turn around.

It’s too much, sometimes, to think about how she had missed 16 years of her life. Had missed the death of her sister, and that sometimes, not even that fact could make her cry.

What kind of a monster was she, now? Certainly nothing more than the product of an experiment, emotionless and unfeeling.

"Presea. Are you alright?"

"Yes," she answered curtly.

She was. And that was the problem. She shouldn't be alright. She should be feeling something, anything, and yet she couldn’t.

"Presea…"

She wanted to ask Regal to go away. She doesn't want to be comforted, not by her sister's murderer.

But Alicia had forgiven him, had told Presea that she had never blamed him for her death.

But she had nothing to hold onto, nothing to ground her…

"Presea." Regal's hand uncurled her fingers to reveal the tiny pink petals that she had been hiding.

Why had she been hiding them? Even Presea herself didn’t know.

How could Regal, the one who had killed the last family she had in this world, understand her so well?

"These flowers. They show me that you still love. You love Alicia, just as much as you did before. Even if you don't understand yourself anymore, they speak the truth."

"You're still human, Presea."

It's under Regal's gentle gaze that she began to cry, once again.

The first tears that had left her eyes since she had learned of her sister's death. She had not cried since, not when she'd learned the truth of this world, not when she'd learned Colette was dying, not even after seeing Altessa be hurt so badly.

Her tears flowed down her face, dripping upon the petals in her hand.

~~~

Mithos wondered how many flowers a body could hold. He’d gotten used to holding the petals and flowers down. It had become as familiar as breathing to him. That was what happened when you’d lived with them for so long.

Every time he met with Zelos, he could tell that the other was struggling to hold in his own, swallowing hard and having difficulty talking.

Ah. Whoever it is must still be alive, then.

He didn’t know if he felt sympathy or pity when he found Zelos choking up a myriad of petals, striking in their varied colour.

Didn’t know how to feel when Genis made him laugh one day, only for that familiar feeling in his throat to intensify. Only, to his horror, to cough out morning glory petals, mixed with the normal magenta zinnia, in the safety of his quarters.

The same colour as Genis’ eyes. How pretty.

How tragic.

It would never work. If he succeeded…

He’d be lucky if Genis only hated him.

What would Hanahaki be like, if the other hated him? How fast would the roots curl through his lungs and choke him?

Mithos laughed, staring at the petals and the blood on his palm.

Would it be so bad if they did in the end?

~~~

Lloyd had wondered, many times, what it meant to get Hanahaki.

He hadn’t understood what had been so bad about getting Hanahaki, the few times he’d overheard his schoolmates talk about it in overexcited tones. A bit of gossip among the students after stray petals had been found, innocent talk that always arose among those who didn’t understand.

Learning about Colette’s suffering throughout the Journey of Regeneration, the sacrifices that she was to make, only made his heart ache for her more. But still, there was no sign of any petals.

Maybe he couldn’t get Hanahaki. Or maybe, just maybe…

He didn’t love her. That thought terrified him, made him want to blurt out his fears to Colette. There was nothing she couldn’t understand, couldn’t reassure him through. Her kind smile always made all his fears wash away.

But she was the one person Lloyd could never tell.

He hadn’t understood as he did now.

He’d seen Kate throw up bloody bittercress over her father, who didn’t love her simply because she was a half-elf. Had seen the stray petals spilling from Mithos’ lips as he screamed outside Altessa’s house, deranged and broken over a love torn from him. Knew who Kratos’ flowers were for, and why they were there.

He wondered what it would be like, for them to squeeze through his own throat.

But just because he can’t get Hanahaki doesn’t mean he loves less. He understands that much now, at least.

On the balcony overlooking Flanoir, he watched the snow as Colette came up beside him. She’s more beautiful than any sight, with the gentle smile on her face that had saved him so many times, that had convinced him to keep going, to rebel against a world that had accepted the Chosen’s death as their salvation.

Because he would do anything to see that smile again.

Under the moon, as he spilt his worries, helpless to those warm blue eyes, he wonders if he doesn’t already know what it’s like to have Hanahaki.

Sometimes, it already felt like he loved her too much to the point that it’s choking him. Drowning under its weight every time he saw her, wanting to tell her but holding himself back.

He had already failed her once when he had left all of the responsibility of the Regeneration Journey to her. He didn’t deserve her.

So he would stay by her side, protect her, and keep the truth to himself.

His little flower of love to nurture, but never reveal.

~~~

Genis remembered, vividly. A night with the moon bright in the sky. When he’d found Mithos coughing up petals outside Altessa’s house.

Mithos had brushed off his worries, had said with a sad smile that they were for his sister. The sister who had died, who could no longer love him.

Genis had felt sorrow, knowing Mithos would have to live with it for the rest of his life.

He hadn’t truly known how long that had been.

And he hadn’t known who the morning glory was for. He’d looked up their meaning, and then promptly decided that was Mithos’ business. If Mithos wanted to say something, he would. Genis wouldn’t force him.

Genis laughed, now, as he choked up alstroemeria, still cradling Mithos’ shattered Cruxis Crystal.

How different in meaning they were.

~~~

“Alicia.” Presea quietly uttered her sister’s name, kneeling next to her grave on the rooftop of the Lezareno company.

“Here,” she whispered, placing her bouquet down. A bouquet composed entirely of gladiolus. Certainly not a typical bouquet, but one that expressed what she wanted to.

“Thank you for your forgiveness, Alicia,” Regal said, placing his hand on the gravestone.

They stay there and remember.

Presea knew she would live with the pink petals forever.

But as Regal had told her, they were reminders she was human, that she could still feel. And she’s done being held back. Just like Regal had found the strength to move forward, so would she, clutching these flowers with all the strength she had as she stumbled through life, relearning what it was to live.

And she would use these flowers as a way to remember her sister. Her kindness, her forgiveness, her strength.

Her sister, who even through pain and grief, had loved and been loved.

~~~

In the end, he had been an idiot, like everyone loved to say. Like Sheena always said.

How had he never picked up the true meaning behind those words? He had always been loved.

Zelos didn’t know if he’d ever be happier than the day Sheena shyly offered him a single pink camellia, blushing but smiling, content.

He’d never seen a cuter sight.

It’s a little ugly afterwards, of course, when they both end up coughing out flowers and roots for hours.

But they're there for each other throughout, and at least they understand each other now. At least he can openly tell her everything he’s hidden, all the times he’s wanted to gently tuck her hair behind her ears, all the times he’s wanted to hold her in his arms and let her cry.

In the end, he goes home. Home, which is not the Wilder Mansion in Meltokio, where he had experienced nothing but cold and lonely days with his parents.

He goes home. To Sebastian’s constant, steadfast presence; to his sister, with her sharp tongue but sad eyes.

When he reaches the Abbey, Seles greets him at the entrance, a hopeful smile on her face as she gave him a bracelet of orange acacia, carefully and deftly tied together.

Huh. They had the same idea.

He placed a flower crown of asters on her head, something he hadn’t done since they were children, playing together in springtime.

He watched his sister’s eyes well up before she stumbled into his open arms, beginning to sob as she hugged her brother for the first time in years.

He knew he’d have red carnations in his lungs for the rest of his life.

He knew, and he could not care less.

Sheena had finally managed to beat it into him, in all her righteous fury: it wasn’t his fault, what happened on that snowy night years ago.

He would live and love, and keep these carnations as a reminder. To never become his parents, frozen in hatred and unable to love.

~~~

“Genis, are you ready?” Raine called, rapping her knuckles on the door.

“Yeah, sis, I’m ready!” Genis called back, opening the door.

Raine smiled, glad to see her brother looking happier, now. More at peace with the alstroemeria in his hand. Just like she was more at peace with the forget-me-nots that she would still occasionally cough up.

But she was more fortunate than most. Her mother was still alive. Even if she no longer remembered them, she was still here in this world. Maybe one day, Raine could find it in herself to forgive her mother. Maybe one day, their mother would be able to love them again.

And she hoped, one day, that Genis could come to terms with the flowers within his own heart. It was better, after all, to use them as a way to remember with fondness, rather than to regret.

~~~

Everyone had gathered in the Church of Martel, with wide smiles and happy faces. Sheena, with pink camellias in her hair, hands linked with Zelos, whose hair was braided with white irises. The matching ring on both of their hands glinted in the sunlight coming through the skylight.

Genis, leaning against his sister and laughing as he gestured in the air, with a bracelet of alstroemeria, while Raine had a single forget-me-not tucked behind her ear.

Presea, silently enjoying Regal’s company, with a bouquet of gladiolus sitting in her lap.

Lloyd stood at the end of the aisle, nervously fiddling with the suit that Dirk had made for him, staring at the floor.

Waiting, a single flower gripped in his hand.

The night that he'd finally got up the courage to tell her he loved her, to believe that he was worth enough, he'd expected a gentle rejection.

It was horrifying for him when Colette's eyes had widened at his words, tears gathering at their corners before she'd doubled over and begun coughing up flowers at an alarming speed.

He'd finally realised that Colette had Hanahaki, that she had been suffering alone again without him knowing. Because of him.

Was it his fault again?

She’d straightened with the happiest smile he’d ever seen on her face, eyes shining, before she’d hugged him. Whispered “thank you”, over and over again.

It had taken a while to get the message through. That it wasn’t his fault. Because that simply was not how Hanahaki worked. That was what she’d come to understand, and what she wanted him to know.

If anyone could convince someone of anything, he mused, it was Colette.

He snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of footsteps. Lloyd turned, breath catching at the sight of Colette, resplendent and beautiful, in a dress of pure white with poppies braided into her hair.

She walked up the aisle until she was right in front of him, happy. Waiting.

He tucked the single gerbera daisy in his hand behind her ear, kissing her on the cheek.

Remembered the first time he’d thought she was beautiful, sitting among the plain of daisies and laughing with his flower crown lying lopsided on her head.

A flower to represent the purity of love.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” she whispers back, a wide smile on her face.

And he believed that everything would be alright and that everything had been worth it.

~~~

To some, the flowers were a symbol of undying love, to be looked upon with fondness. To others, they were nothing more than a curse.

All of them had lived, with or without flowers within their lungs.

They'd loved, lost, and found their way.

~~~

Flower List

Raine: Forget-me-nots, I will not forget

Zelos: Dark red carnations, a mother’s love; White Iris, devotion; Aster, wishing things could have gone differently

Seles: Orange Acacia, concealed love

Sheena: Pink Camellias, longing

Martel: Yellow Zinnia, daily remembrance

Mithos: Magenta Zinnia, lasting affection; Morning Glory, love in vain

Yuan: Hyacinth, loss and regret

Kratos: Green lilies, devotion

Colette: Gerbera Daisies, purity and innocence

Genis: Alstroemeria, friendship

Presea: Gladiolus, loss but also a remembrance of strength

#tales of symphonia #colloyd #sheelos #fanfiction #one shot #hanahaki #colette brunel #lloyd irving #kratos aurion #sheena fujibayashi #zelos wilder #regal bryant #presea combatir #mithos yggdrasill #martel yggdrasill #yuan ka-fai #genis sage #raine sage

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edward-little · 3 years ago

Note

Ohh jopson like a violent wind up toy... Set him up and watch him go. Crozier is so proud. Mmmm I know you've made the dnd stats for the shows characters but what about the shows characters characters. As in, not giving characters from the show a class and stats based off their personality but the character you think they'd end up making should they play.like I wanna see the whole stat block for the bard Dundy plays. With Bridgens as the dm the party is Fitzjames as a sorcerer, Crozier as a ranger, jopson as a barbarian, Dundy's bard, macdonald's cleric hodgesons probably another bard since as you mentioned more rp for him and less memorization. Idk what gore, Goodsir or blanky's playing maybe a monk for blanky and a druid for Goodsir and a paladin for gore. Races too, I can see fitzjimmy with like a half elf or something 'cause you can work in a metaphor about being a bastard in there somewhere and who hasn't used dnd to work out something. Irving gets into wh4k just to paint the miniatures.

writing these stats assuming the party is all level 10. an asterisk indicates expertise, where applicable.

blanky:

dwarf (mountain) monk (drunken master). outlander background

STR 10 DEX 18 CON 14 INT 10 WIS 18 CHA 10

skills: acrobatics, athletics, insight, performance, survival

crozier:

human (variant) ranger (hunter). outlander background

STR 9 DEX 18 CON 14 INT 10 WIS 14 CHA 13

+observant feat

skills: athletics, insight, perception, stealth, survival

dundy:

human (variant) bard (college of eloquence). noble background

STR 10 DEX 14 CON 14 INT 12 WIS 8 CHA 20

+ inspiring leader feat

skills: acrobatics, history, insight, performance*, persuasion*

fitzjames:

changeling sorcerer (wild magic). entertainer background

STR 8 DEX 12 CON 16 INT 12 WIS 12 CHA 18

+ lucky feat

skills: acrobatics, arcana, deception, performance

goodsir:

gnome (forest) artificer (alchemist). hermit background

STR 8 DEX 14 CON 14 INT 20 WIS 10 CHA 12

+ keen mind feat

skills: investigation, medicine, nature, religion

gore:

half-orc fighter (battlemaster). soldier background

STR 19 DEX 10 CON 16 INT 10 WIS 12 CHA 12

+ mobile feat

skills: athletics, history, intimidation, perception

hodgson:

eladrin (autumn) bard (college of spirits). entertainer background

STR 8 DEX 12 CON 12 INT 14 WIS 13 CHA 20

+ keen mind feat

skills: acrobatics, deception, intimidation, performance*, persuasion*

jopson:

aasimar (scourge) barbarian (totem warrior). sailor background

STR 21 DEX 17 CON 18 INT 8 WIS 8 CHA 15

+ belt of hill giant strength

skills: athletics, intimidation, perception, survival

mcdonald:

dwarf (hill) cleric (life). cloistered scholar background

STR 10 DEX 8 CON 16 INT 12 WIS 18 CHA 14

skills: arcana, history, insight, medicine

#the terror dnd #sorry i took some things in a different direction but i hope they're satisfactory

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gascon-en-exil · 3 years ago

Text

Dark Deity Pre-Release Character Opinions

This isn't actually a tier list, but someone helpfully created a template for this game and it's as good a way as any to do a little visual showcase for this cast. Characters are listed by their class sets, which are fixed but offer a nice variety in terms of promotion options. My opinions on each are as follows, from left to right in each row. Most characters have introductory profiles written up on the DD subreddit, if you'd like to check them out yourself.

Warriors

Alexa

You know those buff female blacksmiths in Echoes and Three Houses that some people wish were playable characters? That's pretty much Alexa. Can't say I'm too hyped about her myself, but warrior + tomboyish female character will do that for me...or not do it, I suppose.

Benji

Seems to have been written to become a meme, and I still can't decide whether that's clever or stupid. Kind of like Raphael only with a bigger emphasis on training than on eating, and with brotherly devotion replaced with brotherly angst that might theoretically go somewhere if the character isn't reduced to being a goofy joke all the time.

Fenton

Doesn't have a character profile, so as far as I know he's just a generic dwarf because DD swaps out its inspiration's loli dragons and other vaguely fetishistic shapeshifters for the two most cliché non-human races in Western fantasy. I wonder whether his VA will voice him with a Scottish accent, to go all in on the (ironic?) laziness. There are a handful of elves in the playable cast, but Fenton is the only dwarf so for better or worse he's representing.

Helena

She's the embodiment of the FE exotic swordswoman archetype, but curiously DD seems to have turned that broad ethnic brush inward. Helena's last name is apparently a Japanese verb, her art shows her with a spear (as in the association of the naginata with women), and she studied and trained in a monastery that seems to blend elements of Buddhism and Shintoism. Not sure how all that fits into the larger setting yet, but at this point she's still got more background development than Petra.

Irving

Our Hero, the one front and center on the cover art. He sounds a bit on the blander side as far as lords or lord equivalents go, with his most promising hook for me being his established friendship with Garrick (see the ranger section). At best I can hope for a bit of a romantic friendship dynamic, although they sound a bit rougher overall as they're military academy schoolmates I wonder why DD went with that instead of lordlings of different territories.

Rogues

Brooke

Looks like Camilla; has a backstory like Niles. Cleavage aside though the sexual element of both is toned down here, and there might be some sapphic bodyguard shenanigans to be had as her current employers are a pair of highborn sisters further down this list.

Cia

For some reason she reminds me of Tressa from Octopath Traveler, only bustier and a bartender rather than a merchant. She's still just a small town girl with big city dreams, and this being a tactical war game following those dreams will inevitably involve stabbing people.

Corvan

Hard to judge him at the moment, as his profile was only the second written and so isn't terribly detailed. He's a moon elf with scholarly interests, apparently. Still, as of right now he's the only rogue who doesn't slot loosely into either a ninja/assassin or pirate aesthetic, so that's kind of neat. Also, he's one of several characters to have FEH-esque beach fanart made of them already, so clearly someone's into elf twinks.

Ford

A former officer at the military academy Irving attends and a smuggler who dotes on his niece, Ford has major dad energy. Per developer reveals he's also bi, and as I mentioned before I'm totally fine with that. More bear sex, please - but what guy in this cast would hop in the sack with Ford? Only time will tell. His personal skill makes him extra dodgy, which combined with the mug of booze in his art makes me think of WoW brewmasters who dodge-tank through the power of being wasted.

Wren

Like Brooke, he's an assassin from a foreign nation - in his case the same one as Helena so presumably he's a not!Japanese ninja. I'm not really feeling him at the moment. What is it about Hao'Fen (the city/territory he and Helena come from) and massive families? That comes up in both their backstories.

Rangers

Caius

I feel like this is the third or fourth character to grow up in some slum or other; at least they've all been in different towns so far. The relative rarity of noble characters is certainly different from FE, but it reduces the political stakes which leaves me wondering a bit about the story. Anyway, Caius is a small town desert hunter who learned how to make arrows out of animal bones. How aerodynamic is bone, I wonder?

Garrick

Irving's BFF and seemingly the Hector to Irving's Eliwood, only with more flirting (his intro doesn't specify that Garrick is flirting with women, but I'm not going so far as to say that indicates anything). He's the academy headmaster's son, with a strained relationship with his father for some of that hotheaded lead tension. Notably, his VA is the one I'm most familiar with in this cast, as he's the voice of Revali from Breath of the Wild as well as love interests in two different erotic gay dating sims I've played. In other words, I know what this guy sounds like making awkwardly simulated sex noises...and I have no idea what to do with that information.

Maeve

She's a half-elf with a very storied background, so much so that it's all rather hard to follow her exploits when little of what's being described has been fully revealed yet. I'm expecting her to be a mid/lategame recruit, unless she's dropped in early on to reveal that (sun) elves exist or something.

Rose

Imagine if Bernadetta were a commoner, although we can only hope they'll be less screaming. Alternatively, Neimi without an obvious boyfriend. She won the beach contest so now she has official swimsuit art, which I guess makes her a top-tier waifu in the eyes of players who care about such things.

Sophia

A ranger in the "has animal companions" sense, although whether that will come into play mechanically aside from her personal skill - Butter the ferret can attack with her! - remains to be seen. Her preference for the company of animals is explained by a lack of social graces, so prepare for klutz-related humor. Of note to those interested in F/F is that her introduction specifically brings up her connection with Sloane (see the mage section) and how close the two of them are.

Clerics

Faust

Doesn't have a profile yet, so not much to go off other than his decidedly unhinged look. The cleric class set does feature some darker-flavored options, so presumably he's more naturally aligned with those. His VA was announced to be the YouTuber behind So This is Basically Fire Emblem and other similar videos, so I'm picturing a kooky and somewhat demented Henry type.

Lincoln

Also lacks a profile at time of writing...clerics get so little love. The Discord has identified him a bland blond paladin sort, but as we know from the likes of Perceval and especially Dimitri that doesn't necessarily mean he'll be boring (or not gay).

Maren

The soft-spoken healer type, and also a childhood friend of Garrick although her intro sibling-zones him but then this game is inspired by FE so who knows if that'll stick. She may have some interesting thoughts on the theology of the setting, as there seem to be several faiths and she's said to have a complicated relationship with her own. I will be utterly shocked if she's not either Irving or Garrick's eventual love interest.

Samara

One of two princesses of the country of Aramor, which appears to be loosely inspired by the Middle East. Heaven help us if the Khalidstans ever get wind of this game. Unfortunately aside from her bond with her older sister (in the mage section) and the knowledge that Brooke has been hired as their bodyguard there's not much to Samara at the moment. Hopefully the clerics all do some comparative theology in their bond conversations, and this isn't like Sacred Stones where none of the clergy characters from different countries ever compare notes. The succession crisis involving Samara and her sister vs. their less-loved cousin the king's son might be a major plot hook? It's still too early to tell.

Vesta

Much like Maeve her backstory has entirely too much going on to really follow at the moment. Basically she's a human who grew up in a sun elf city because Reasons (seriously, I don't know what they are) and was called to a clerical vocation and also something about taking a journey. Has an unfortunate case of silly boob armor, which unlike a certain other character probably won't be rectified this close to release.

Mages

Alden

Maren's precocious younger brother, also basically Ricken up to and including the comically oversized hat. As a unit he follows the tradition of Donnel, Mozu, and Cyril of having a personal skill that buffs his stat gains, so it's safe to say he's a growth unit. At least he'll probably join early.

Liberty

Comes with dead brother angst and a connection to the "aspects" system that will hopefully make more sense once I've played the game and know how it functions both mechanically and from a storytelling perspective. Otherwise she looks to be a busty older - as in, not a teenage - mage in the vein of Calill.

Monroe

Got the first ever character profile, so it's really short. He's the son of a duke and sounds like a bit of a snob, albeit one that can make explosions happen to back up his haughtiness. He's got some scarring around his eye that surely must come with a story. Someone also made featured fanart of him in Heroes summer banner style, so I guess he's got somebody horny already.

Sara

Samara's half-sister, with comparable fantasy Middle Eastern flavoring. Has an interest in discovering magical artifacts and being a just ruler in the event she winds up on the throne (so, almost definitely), and she and Samara travel around with the assassin Brooke as their bodyguard. There's maybe some lesbian possibilities there? Either way, Sara has enough development where I could see her as a major supporting character.

Sloane

Comes with a genuinely fascinating backstory involving manipulative double-crossing parents, an education in the cruelties and deceptions of social life (reflected in her personal skill), and disinheritance - and yet it's all likely to be overshadowed because she may go down as DD's equivalent to Fates's face-touching. Her initial art is even more revealing than Camilla's, and while the developers later gave her a more modest redesign after negative feedback I get the feeling that this controversy may live on. Her introduction mentions her hunting for both heirs and heiresses and she's now been linked to Sophia, so safe to say she's another confirmed bi character.

Adepts

While the other class sets are standard fantasy fare adepts require a bit more explanation. They have innate magical abilities and appear to be feared and distrusted most places in the setting. Functionally they remind me of adepts from the Golden Sun series, if anyone is familiar with those games. The classes in the adept group tend more toward physical/magical hybridization than those of other sets, so that will probably be their mechanical niche. Oh, and their default weapon type is lances, which is a plus in my book.

Aurima

Along with Caius and the royal sisters, he's another one from the desert nation of Aramor. An arena fighter who got touched by a god in what I assume was a non-sexual way and came out of it with a new appearance and adept powers. Also, he's confirmed to be over 40 - how often do you see that in games like this?

Bianca

Looks like a more carefree Mathilda from Echoes. She's a ranking officer in the Delian army which sounds like it'd sit uneasily with her adept powers. Her profile describes Lincoln as her close friend, which is still about the most we know about him at this point.

Elias

This guy's writing plays more into the fairly standard coding that comes with adept powers, as we know they manifested shortly before he was going to confess his feelings to a male paramour and afterwards he was forced to flee his homeland and wander the world. He also spent time among dwarves, so insert short bear jokes here? In the present he's attached to Cia in what seems to be a platonic way; maybe she's a fruit fly, or maybe she just likes having a friend who can light drunken assholes on fire? Elias is definitely into guys, but I would still be a little surprised if he turned out to be totally gay as that's such a rarity in these sorts of things.

Iris

Oof, another lengthy and rough backstory. Iris had better parents than Sloane, but she also had to deal with permanent facial scarring (hence the mask) after a bandit kidnapping and the stigma of manifesting as an adept pretty much eliminating the prospects of her making a good political marriage. Also, she and Elias both come from Neullais, which is prominently featured on the continental map on the DD subreddit but doesn't seem to come up all too often in backstories. I think it's a not!France? Hard to tell.

Thae'lanel

A World of Warcraft blood elf, flowing anime hair and apostrophe'd name and all. I like WoW so that's not terribly grating, but as he has no profile yet there's little else I can say. Thae'lanel is mentioned in Maeve's introduction as a member of a sun elf group called the Exiled, which I'm guessing is tied to his adept status in some way. He and Maeve form yet another adventurer/bodyguard duo.

#Dark Deity #Fire Emblem #Well it's sort of FE

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reversecreek · 4 years ago

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struts onto the dash carrying this deliriously wriggling little elf in my arms like a swaddled bebe......... they’re genuinely my oldest muse of all time i think i created them when i was like. 13 possibly. n i haven’t written them in Years but. i’m literally so excited to jst vibrating w muse. smiles at u all demurely..... they have risen. u can find their pinterest here n their playlist here.

* alana champion, nonbinary + they/them | you know nyla palmer, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eight months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 6669 (i don’t know if you know) by neon indian like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole a two headed doll of a prairie girl with stitched on rabbit ears and butterfly wings, befriending shadow puppets & finding god with your eyes open underwater in a public pool you broke into thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 2nd, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her )

HISTORY:

was born in georgiaaaa georgiaaaa (phoebe bridgers voice holds my bang...) to a vry honest hard working man named george (omgggg he’s called GEORGE and he’s from GEORGIA? ahaaaaa fuckk ur jestinggg) nd a woman who did her best named pamela..... george worked on a construction site n pamela was a pharmacist..... their house was this small rickety white thing with a wrap around porch n a very rabid overgrown garden tht kind of looked like the earth ws trying to reclaim it bc nobody ever hd the time or motivation to mow the lawn.... there ws literally a piece of fold out furniture just entirely submerged by weeds n foliage

nyla ws always closest w their dad george..... he hd this way of looking at the world tht was seeing the best in all of it.... he took them on long walks where he talked abt how u have to respect the trees bc they’re breathing fr us n we’re breathing fr them..... he hd a strange whimsical sense of humour n a gnome alter ego called grundlebolt who always tickled them..... in a way this closeness created a distance between nyla n their mother but not so much that it ws rly a problem. just enough tht nyla sometimes waited until their mother ws out of eye n ear shot to tell their dad they loved him bc they didn’t wna make her sad >_>

(mental health, death & grief tw) pamela always struggled w her mental health but george ws great n understanding n knew how to help her thru this... nyla didn’t get it too greatly at a very young age bt they knew their mum got “the sads” sometimes (how their dad wld explain tht she needed to lay down in the quiet for a while or why she’d stood at the stove n let the dinner burn until the smoke detector went off without doing anything abt it). when nyla was 14 they got home one day to a police car in the driveway n came prancing in exuberantly as they always did. immediately hugged the legs of an officer bc this is hw they wld greet everyone they ever met. they only realised something was wrong when they let go n saw their mum sat at the table crying. essentially there ws an accident at the construction site george worked at n :/ yeah.

(jst mental health & grief tw now) this rly had an intense ripple effect on everyone tbh. pamela’s mental health deteriorated quite a lot without george there as her rock n nyla sort of had to step in as best they cld but it was....... hard. some days she ws better bt some days nyla had to sit her in the bath n stroke a wet sponge over her back bc they didn’t know how else to calm her down. nyla always had a very overactive imagination which george encouraged bt it ws like. losing him rly opened a window in nyla’s head n all rationality went floating out of it. their dreams seemed more real than being awake. fantasy wasn’t jst the way they coped bt it was the way they thought n the way they saw. everything on earth was alive. the trees n the clouds n the wall with a brick missing at the bottom of her road n especially their dad. their dad was alive in everything in nyla’s head. the sun shining extra bright in the morning was george. ponds were a veil they could dunk her head under and find george waiting on the other side. reality rly just pulled the plug n said bye tbh n they were ok w that <3

(abuse implied tw) their mum remarried too fast to a man named stephen n it was jst not a good arrangement. he was Not a nice man. i won’t go into this but home wasn’t a nice place for nyla any more n after a couple of yrs stephen wound up asking them to leave n their mum said nothing to contradict tht. there’s more to this bt long story short nyla left <3

(drugs tw) they couch surfed fr a while before settling living w their best friend. they got up to like... all sorts of trouble n grew up far too fast. nyla’s lack of sense n realism hd a habit of getting them into some sticky situations n these few yrs were a rollercoaster where they got by on the skin of their teeth. when they think of high skl they think of gravel and skinned knees and sucking sherbet dunkers to ignore the taste of pennies in ur mouth and getting lost in the woods a lot bc they’d take FAR too many drugs n be lead astray having conversations with kind trees whose branches held their hands

(drug mention) got by on odd jobs like making candles n selling them at market stalls. leaf blowing at cemeteries. face painting fr children’s parties (where they were blatantly high). random stuff. all over the place. in this time them n their best friend also hd a sugar daddy named tony who always wore very impressive colour block suits n mink stoles n jewelled fedoras n hd a swanky apartment w marble floors. rly just. surreal. lots of strange stories frm this time.

things kind of blew up in their friendship group n they fell out w their best friend raya bc she slept w this guy aj who nyla hd been madly in love w for yrs.... he was a Stinker n honestly so ws their best friend so good riddance i say bt obviously it felt like having their entire world flipped upside dwn fr nyla.... they split after this came out bc they just did Not want to b around these ppl any more n they decided to leave w this guy frm a band they barely knew tht much save fr a one night stand to tour w them..... this ws another whirlwind. jst chock full of them. it ws similar to being on a teacup ride at a carnival n spinning round n round n only knowing u were surrounded by lots of lights. tht’s how they’d best describe their time on tour.

SO in terms of them coming to irving 8 months ago they came w the band.... they honestly did pretty well on tour n wound up renting a big beach house on dorado as a kind of “retreat” sort of place fr them to shack up in while they worked on writing and recording their first big studio album (they gt signed w a label so it’s all vry exciting stuff). nyla among like 3 others were allowed to stay w them too bc they hd a lot of fun on tour. literally jst. taken on as professional groupies essentially. nyla loved it bc they’d never seen the ocean n when they first got there they jst threw off all their clothes n ran straight into the water. it was 3pm on a tuesday afternoon. they got arrested fr public indecency n didn’t get why bc they were like but i just wanted to hug the ocean u silly little oinker? i picture the beach house as like. the loudest one on dorado.... comes alive like a jungle at night..... they r probably bad neighbours. anyway. onto personality puts hand on hip.

PERSONALITY:

sets out patio furniture on someone else’s lawn n jst takes a seat n leans back like ahhhhh vat a nice day to be alive ya! (swedish accent suddenly bc they think it’s fun). they come out n start yelling n they’re jst so confused they’re like hey wat’s the big idea hey wat’s go on here why u angies why this happen?

likes drawing imaginary veins over their arms in all different colour blue pens in a sudden fit of hyperfixation n then forgets all abt it n goes out like tht n scares several townsfolk bt they’re oblivious they’re jst in her own world loving life already onto the next fixation. has many many different fads like this. one day will jst start snipping up a bunch of magazines bc they’re like EYES ARE COOL N THEY SEE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P n they’ll stick a bunch of them over their wall n then forget they was doing that n leap onto the next. quite a pattern. bt they love the vein thing a lot it makes them feel like a walking planetarium like they have their own constellations

sometimes jst doesn’t make sense. they’re honestly kind of strange. pops up in places like they suddenly materialised there n it’s like how did u get there where have u been when were u last seen are u ok. has the energy of an ancient deity frm deep in a mountain cave n an ambiguous forest sprite all at once..... talks shit honestly. abt anything n everything. sometimes outrageous. sometimes plain incoherent. like what are u talking about? i dnt kno. even i dnt kno sometimes.

luvs stick n pokes will let anyone tattoo whatever they want on them for the price of a gummy bear kindly placed onto their tongue n swallowed whole

has this obsession w being underwater w their eyes open luvs it. calls it their tadpole time. runs baths just to lie there blinking looking around n drifting her arms. best friends w the bottom of any local swimming pool n hs probably given it a quick kiss so it knows they’re bff’s n then got sick bc there’s sm germs in a public pool. says the kgb probably poisoned their oatmeal n r finally here to deliver on their promise n THAT’S why they got sick unrelated to the pool incident. what promise? noone knows.

unclear if they believe what they say or if they jst has a very expanded sense of humour where they nvr let on if they’re joking.... lines r blurred a lot.....

loves excitedly shouting things. sometimes just screams at the sky bc they say it’s good to let the creatures in ur belly fly out every once in a while otherwise their wings get sore.

(drugs tw) still does an excessive amt of hallucinogens n it kind of shows. very bad fr their brain bt we’re going to ignore it.

dresses fun n strange n eccentric n careless. loves to experiment. does nt care abt what’s considered to be societally appropriate. living in their own world.

sleeps around a lot... jst doesn’t rly see sex as a big deal.... very free w themselves in that way..... sometimes greets their friends w a kiss on the lips they’re like awww :) kisses <3 when they run into them in the middle of the cereal aisle n then pulls away n suddenly breaks into a box tht has a free toy in it bc it’s a banana with googly eyes n that’s the best thing they’ve ever heard in their LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n isn’t he so HANDSOME????? enchante indeed my good sir ;)... gives the toy a kiss too.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

other groupies of the band: self explanatory a little.... i dnt have a name for the band yet bt all can b worked out..... i picture them as kind of. not that nice but like. there for a good time........ rock genre.... bit chaotic...... to say the least........ they dnt have to have come there w the band like nyla n the others they cld have been adopted in their time there.... whoever wld b wild n down fr a good time <3

chaotic trash goblin friends: idk what this title rly means it just came to me in a vision....... jst ppl tht r rly kind of off the rails n don’t care abt anything...... they r who nyla tends to mesh very well w......... they rly r living in their own world n by their own rules n they like ppl who do this too <3 inevitably they get up to no good n party far too much...... cld be angst to this if they enable each other’s bad habits...... world’s our oyster. opens my office door. let’s talk abt it.

nyla set up camp on their front lawn: maybe jst w a fold out chair. maybe w a literal pop up tent w someone else too. genuinely so bizarre of them bt that’s what we’re dealing with. they poke their head into the tent n nyla’s lying down crunching on a cracker crumbs over their tits n they just hold it out to them nt even fully consumed n are like hey polly want a cracker? :)

they responded to her craigslist ad: they posted one saying they cld cleanse their house of demonic energy bc they’re an all seeing eye in touch w the spirits. this is a lie. they came n waved sage around n did a little dance as they did it w bird sounds playing on a special cd they brought fr the occasion (had weird indistinct doodles over the case it ws brought in) n then ws like OOH! scary.... n jumped at something in the hall. they go in thinking maybe they’ve seen a ghost bt they just were startled by their own reflection in a mirror n is like. scary mirror placement...... might wna reconsider that........ they charge them merely 10 dollars fr their time n is like this was so fun we shd do it again some time :) also i think u have mould on ur bathroom tile! vanishes. they dnt recall them ever going to the bathroom.

came knocking asking for items for a garage sale: yes. u heard that right. they’re asking for ur muses things to set up their own garage sale. selling items that do not belong to them. they think this is a genius business strategy n don’t understand why ppl think this is so strange or why they cant just ask ppl to donate them things to sell bc hey they’re an entrepreneur? they even had a pencil behind their ear when they knocked on the door so why aren’t ppl taking their business seriously? probably got distracted several times trying to explain their pitch n chattered abt random other things instead.

honestly anything... fwbs... flings... good influence... someone who cnt stand the fact they’re barely coherent.... someone they stopped on the street one day n asked for their opinion on water beds.... we cn do literally anything. fling ur chara my way n we can talk.

#irvingintro #mental health tw #death tw #grief tw #drugs tw #abuse tw

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your-shield-of-love · 5 years ago

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The following is an idea I had if the Warden was in the fade, being tricked and their Love Interest comes to rescue them!

(I would love to see your Wardens being rescued in the fade by their love interest)

Warning: Mention of suicidal thoughts & feelings, depression, anxiety and trauma. Please do not read if these trigger you or distress you.

Kalle Surana sat in the library, reading a book on healing spells and such, the silent library helping her ability to focus. This was she wanted, a life to read books and nothing else. Two Templars stood nearby, their identities hidden and private. Something Kalle didn't mind, she would rather not get to know her... the word lost on her tongue.

She leaned back, for a while now she had an itch at the back of her mind. Like something calling to her. Like a song or-

"Mage." One of the Templars had began stepping to her, "Don't lose focus. Your Harrowing is soon, isn't it?"

"Ah, yes." Kalle pushed back her thoughts, thankful for the reminder. "Wouldn't want to lose to a dem..on." The harrowing had a demon in it? She didn't remember being told that?

"You're so lucky," Kalle's friend, Vanessa Amell spoke with a grin, appearing beside her friend. "Irving told you that right?" Nessie tilts her head, her curls bouncing at the movement.

Kalle laughs, quickly patting her friends back, "How'd you get here without me noticing??" She giggles. "I... think so? I don't remember." Kalle rubs the back of her neck, her hand reaching to the top of her spine. Something was missing.

Nessie hums for a moment, a familiar song, "Uhh magic?" She sarcastically waved her fingers, "You were always a bit scatter-brained." Nessie laughs, her head leaning back. Hmmm, Kalle thought her friend must have been upset about something, cause she never pointed out others flaws, without good reason.

Eyeing her still laughing friend, Kalle spoke up, "Ness? Are you okay?" At this, Nessie stopped laughing and looked back at Kalle.

"Eh? Well... I'm still not over it, you know? Jowan becoming a Grey Warden, and that Sister. " Nessie shook her head of hair, "Can't believe it, can you?"

Kalle inhaled, her chest beginning to hurt. She felt guilty, but why? "Yeah it's... Sad. I don't like the idea of leaving the people I love behind." A pull of her heart, was there someone she was forgetting?

"I hear that Templar, uh Cullen? He's apparently telling everyone you'll pass your harrowing with flying colours." Nessie giggled, nudging Kalle. Kalle raised her eyebrows at her friend, why on earth would someone, a templar be telling everyone how he believed in a mage? That didn't even sound like Cullen.

Nessie laughs, "Wow you've really been practising for this harrowing, huh?"

Kalle laughs hesitantly, "Yeah..."

Sort of suddenly, Kalle found time had flown by. It was dark, with only the candle light being a beacon in the dark. She found herself alone. Something felt shifted, like there was something missing. She looked past the bookcase in front of her, staring out the tall windows of the circle and smiled up to the stars.

She thought of all those times she would look out these windows to the sky, watching the stars and the clouds move slowly across the sky. She noticed there were no clouds in the sky and her smile grew wider. Kalle loved sleeping at night, underneath the never ending sky. This made her blink back, she was never permitted to sleep out at night so what-?

"Elf!" A templar grabbed at her, dragging her quickly to table and slamming her against it. Kalle flinched, chanting to herself to not do magic, don't do magic, won't do magic. "You're meant to be studying!"

"I-I know! I'm sorry I-" Kalle felt a panic attack growing,

"When I called out to you, you didn't listen!" They screamed into her face, hardly any space between her nose and their helmet. She sat onto the table, trying to get farther from them but they gripped her hands against the table.

"I'm sorry! I was-"

"No! So much for knife ears being a sharp listener, ha!" They pinned her on the table easily, taking out a dagger to ear, "Maybe you won't need them if you don't use th-" Suddenly the templar was shot in the neck with an arrow. They whipped to where it came from, "How did you get in-"

A group of four silhouetted against the entrance, a bright light shining from the doorway. Wynne, another mage of the circle, shot her magic at the Templar. Kalle blinked in shock, the Templar moving away from Kalle and facing the group of four.

"No, stop!" Kalle jumped in front of the Templar, raising up a barrier, "Wynne?! What are you doing? Attacking a templar-"

Wayne's face softened towards Kalle, "My sweet girl, that is no templar, it's a demon." She spoke softly, "Do not let it sway you."

"What? They're not a demon, they're.. they're a templar!" Kalle stepped to the side of the templar, showing them that it was a person in armour.

A woman with Black hair and sharp amber eyes stepped forward, a flame in her palm and a staff in the other. "My friend, snap out of this stupidity!" Kalle flinched back from the shout, "Who taught you that very barrier spell? You could barely use it for this long when we met." The barrier spell came undone.

"I- I've been practising, apostate! I've never even MET you!" Kalle angrily waved her arms, a pull of something at the back of her mind.

"Then how, friend, did you know I was an apostate? As you say, we've never met?" The mage stared, a pained glare in her eyes. Kalle swallowed,

"You... You aren't from here!" Kalle threw out an excuse.

Kalle forgot the Templar had been standing behind her when it grabbed her shoulder. "You are strong to fight against these demons, mage. I don't know how they even got here." A memory of demons being in the circle cried out to Kalle. "We must not have got them all since last time. They must have hid in these people's bodies, we should kill them in mercy." The templar whispered to Kalle's pointed ears, the grip beginning to get warmer...

Kalle held out her staff, when a dagger shot the staff out from her hold. A handsome elf stepping forward, a tattoo on his face with sad smile. She wanted to speak to him, but why? "My dear Warden, it has been a while since we last met. It's a shame we reunite here, though." He reached his hand out to her, "I've missed your precious hold." Kalle blinked at the Antivan, having no clue who he was but.. he was familiar. He lowered his hand, pained by her not reaching for him. "At least this time, meeting you again, I won't be trying to kill you again."

Wynne speaks up again, "Dear," She spoke the last person, who Kalle squinted her eyes at, "We cannot reach her." She spoke sadly.

The Templar stepped forward, placing Kalle behind them, "Do not let demons get to you. It will do you no favours." She nodded, watching the last person, who steps out from behind the Apostate.

"We deal with that," The sweet voice almost growling the word, "first." Before Kalle could step forward to stop the group, Wynne used a barrier to stop Kalle from interfering, the apostate transforming into a blighted spider, fighting the Templar up close. The Antivan elf appearing from air, using his blades to hit the points where the armour was not covering. Stabbing into them.

Kalle gasps, covering her mouth. "Stop! Stop it!" She slammed her first against the barrier. Arrows shot the Templar, making them fall over, the armour loudly crashing. The barrier lowered but Kalle refused to move, afraid. But not sure what of...

A woman steps forward, lowering her hood and revealing beautiful ginger hair. Kalle took a breath, her eyes wide as she got lost in those saddened blue eyes. Her heart started freaking out, Kalle feeling embarrassed for some reason. Makers sake, Kalle always was weak for gingers. She then inwardly scolded herself, focus! As the woman stepped forward, Wynne lightly touched her arm, whispering quietly to her before stepping away from the ginger.

"Kalle, my-" The woman began but hesitating, "It didn't hurt you, did it?" She eyed the Templar before continuing to walk to Kalle. Who didn't want to fight her, for some reason... she could be a demon.

"Stop." Kalle commanded, the four looking to her in hope of something, which she felt her eyebrow raise at. "I... I don't know you."

The woman smiles subtly, "You hesitated." She stops at an arms length from Kalle, who is preparing for the demon to know things it shouldn't know of her. Kalle closed her eyes, sighing before staring at the woman, trusting in herself. The ginger seemed to smile warmly saying, "I always admired the fact that you could look an enemy as an equal, but when they've crossed your line, your lip pouts and your toes curl." Kalle simply blinks in response, trying not to look to her feet.

"I didn't realise demons could have foot fetishes." Kalle says, the Antivan laughs for a moment and the ginger giggles softly, making her want to laugh too.

The ginger looked around the room, "It's nice to see the circle the way it used to be. I can imagine you, sitting on the windowsill, book in hand and a snack in your pockets..." She softly smiles then looks to Kalle sharply, "You know demons, yes?"

Kalle slowly nods, taking a slow and calming breath. "I know they use your most precious memories, traumas and anything you hold dear against you. To persuade and trick you that what you see is true." She stood a little straighter.

"Thank you, love." The ginger smiled with such a warmth in her smile it was unbearable to watch, so Kalle looked away. Why was she even thanking her?

"Why.. are you thanking me?" Kalle wondered, slowly looking back to her.

The gingers warm smile still there, seemed to grow even wider. "Even when you look at me as your foe, you help. It is one of the many things I love about you." The woman began to slowly reach her hand out, not making any quick movements. "You may call me Leliana." Kalle took another breath, it was a pretty name that suited a pretty lady.

Kalle began reaching out too, but pulled back, frowning. With a sigh she looks to the templar on the floor. Remind yourself, they're a demon... doubt began to sprout in her thoughts, who was the demon?

"This may take a lot longer than when she helped us. Our friend is very stubborn." The Antivan sat on the table Kalle had been sitting at previously. How did she know he was Antivan? *The accent, probably.* Though .. how did she know that was an Antivan accent? She had never met someone from Antiva.

Leliana took a small step forward, making Kalle step back, making Leliana stop. "You say a demon will use what you hold dear against you?" She paused for a moment, like she was collecting information in her mind and while Kalle was lost in her clear eyes, she looked up swiftly. Almost making Kalle jump. "When you listen to someone's pain and grief, you listen deeply, tilting your head, asking the right questions and speaking when it can help them and you make others feel so safe with you." Kalle's ears twitched, she hated compliments. "When you watch the stars, your fingers fiddle with the grass near you, like when you fidget when you feel like dancing, but can't. You tie a knot, then untie it, and continue doing that until your imagination stops flying with the stars." Leliana takes a step forward, this time Kalle doesn't step away. "When you overthink, you sometimes pull on your own hair or your nostrils twitch, like a little nug." Kalle feels her cheeks blush.

"How do you-" Kalle starts.

"Because I love you." Leliana hums, Kalle's heart skipping a beat and her mind feeling like an explosion going off in her head. Taking away whatever called to her, like the sea easily takes the sand.

Kalle's voice held in her throat, "w-what?" She let out the tiniest whisper.

"I'm sorry I'm telling you here, like this but.. It's the truth." Leliana looks down for a moment, returning her gaze with a determined look in her eye. "I know that you do not trust me. That right now, I am a stranger but ... I know all the things you don't realise about yourself. You refuse to compliment yourself, or see the good that is a piece of you. That is why I'm no demon. I love you. You who despises yourself and do not hold yourself dear. I love you, for everything you despise. For all the little habits and mannerisms you don't realise you have, because why should you? When you could care less for yourself?" Kalle hadn't realised when Leliana had held her shoulders but didn't say anything, looking at the desperate look Leliana had. "I love that you are an elf." Leliana lovingly and filled with pride, softly strokes along Kalle's ears. "I love that you are a mage, how creative and excited you get about your magic. It is one of the few things you take pride in, but when someone compliments you, you never accept it. But if they compliment your magic, you grin happily. What you don't realise is, when you turn away from that, your eyes become sad. I love how you love unconditionally and I love you." Leliana holds onto Kalle's cheek, when did she begin leaning into her palm?

Kalle mumbles, "Y-you said that already.. that you love me."

Leliana takes two steps forward, her nose touching the top of Kalle's nose, as she was taller than Kalle. "I love everything about you, especially the parts you despise. I love that when you are struggling you can talk to us about your heartaches. I love the little habits that are utterly adorable, I love how you hold everyone dear to you no matter who they are. I love, that despite you wanting to give up and... and no longer being around, you stay, because you've lost someone. Because you were hurt, left behind and broken from it. Something you refuse to do to everyone else, as long as one person loves you. You do not give up. I love that you are kind even when you angry and grieving, I love you as much as I can. That is why I'm not a demon. I love what you don't hold dear: yourself."

Kalle didn't realise her eyes wept, her words frozen and her body beginning to shake. "How can- how can you love me? I just-" She gripped her head, Leliana softly removing her hands and with one hand, wiped her tears, kissing where they were.

"I don't need a reason to love you. But if you need more reasons, I have plenty for you to listen too, my love." The two held onto eachother, Kalle sniffing into Leliana's shoulder, catching her scent.

Andraste's grace, the flowers... The flowers Kalle always gathered when she could. For her, for her Leliana. Kalle raised her head, the grip of the fade demon lost from her. "Leliana," she breathed, seeing Leliana teary eyed, finally remembering everything, "Leliana!" The couple meet each others lips, gently but desperately kissing, holding onto eachother and reassuring the other they were okay, that they were really there for one another. "I love you too." Kalle breathed, a heavy pain and weight lifting from her heart. "Growing up in the circle, it's ingrained into us that relationships will never work. That only pain is the ending..." Kalle wipes her tears, holding Leliana's hand tightly. "That falling in love is impossible and foolish..." Looking into the teary eyes of Leliana, Kalle holds onto her lovers cheek, "I thought... it would be wrong for me to say I love you. As a mage, an elf, a warden... a stupid, lost soul who couldn't ever just be happy." Blinking away her tears, "I won't hesitate anymore... I want to see myself as a person. I want to love you without holding back. I want to live. With you." The couple leaned their heads on eachother, happy to be together finally and Kalle holding Leliana's waist. Leliana tilts her head down to Kalle, her arms loosely around Kalle's neck and the pair kiss sweetly.

"If your quite finished?" Morrigan interrupted, venom in her voice, "Not all of us want to witness the love you share."

"Oh shush. They are happy, leave them be. You can hassle them later." Wynne waves Morrigan off.

"Yes, quite." Zevran's voice seems to grin, "Do continue. Seeing my two best friends kiss is one of my life's delights."

Kalle laughs, standing beside Leliana and looks to her friends. "Thanks, everyone. I'll give you a proper thanks when we return." She grins, the others gathering closer together, closing their eyes as they awake from the fade.

~~☆

Thank you to anyone who read it.

The feelings and emotions conveyed are things that I struggle with to this day but because of games like the Dragon Age series (mostly just Dragon Age), I strive to feel and get better every day.

I'd love to hear how Dragon Age makes you feel, how you are, what your OC's are like and how they are with their loved ones xxx

#my writing #dragon age #dragon age fanfic #dragon age fanfiction #dragon age short #dragon age wynne #wynne dragon age #dao wynne #dragon age Zevran #dragon age Morrigan #Dragon Age Leliana #Dragon Age OC #warden x leliana #da leliana #Leliana x Warden #Female Warden #Elf Warden #Mage Warden

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ofgoodmenarchive · 4 years ago

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Blighted Empire: Ch 1.5

Our Penitent Sons

Since his arrival at the Circle Tower Evallan rested sporadically There was time set aside in his day for one thing- Harrowing lessons with Dorian Pavus. Afterwards he never knew how to occupy himself. Both Dorian and Fila urged him to acquaint better to the tower and its mages but always he returned to the solitude of the barracks.

It was not his place but neither was it with the Circle Mages.

The days were not so terrible. Often he napped- the cacophony of noise from armoured men jeering or hunkering about lulled him to sleep. Nights at the tower were too lifeless. Evallan sprouted into adulthood on war-torn lands that never simmered. However he slept before the Blight he couldn't say- as a man grown, it was futile to lay down on a serene night and expect his mind to emulate the peace.

There was little privacy but that had been rare over the years. A threadbare curtain veiled the sliver of space from rows of similar squeaky cots and partitions. Accustomed to such circumstance, he'd long ago adapted to clothing in strategic layers, not wanting to risk exposure-

The birthright of Dorian Pavus.

Many times he desired nothing more than to discard it into the Waking Sea. It weighed on him like a prisoner's chains, rattles of guilt every time he moved. Always he told himself no, if he discarded it anywhere, it had to be in the Tevinter's hands.

Perched on his cot, suffocating in evening stillness, he removed the amulet and fiddled without seeing. All he perceived were steely eyes full of fire that consumed every shade around until they transformed; cool and soft when it was early, raw amber as the sun tinted orange. Too inviting to bear.

He had often wondered what became of the Tevinter- had he survived his Harrowing, what sort of man had he become? Was he adapting to his new life well or did he feel alienated and lost, as Evallan did? He had to admit, the reality was nothing akin to what he expected- but what had he expected?

Not someone like that.

Not someone so warm.

Whenever he questioned his actions or musings he stumbled into an indignant rage- what else was there to think of, what else was there to distract between the carnage? It did not need a purpose beyond that.

Yet if it were so inconsequential, why could he not return the amulet? Why couldn't he simply face the Tevinter? He was hardly more terrifying than Darkspawn!

But in all their time together he kept the secret shame close to his chest.

He knew time had run out when the division jerked aside to reveal a grim-faced Marcus. Instinctively Evallan hunched and enclosed fingers around the birthright- it would look as though he were praying, if it looked like anything.

“It's time. Collect your things.”

The elf tensed but did not move.

“May I have space, please?” He had to chase the spite from his tone.

“Hurry up, Lavellan.” Marcus ground out and threw the curtain into its original place.

Unfurling, he steeled himself with a final inspection of the amulet. It had not been carried through hopeless battles and unending thaigs undamaged but he saw to it almost obsessively. Every scratch or dent buffed and filled with as much skill as he could muster, though tell-tale discolouration signified tampering.

The chain had been more difficult- beautiful but flimsy and not meant to be dragged into combat. It disquieted him but he'd tied and reinforced the severed links with silverite chipped from Lightbringer, luminous and stark against Tevinter gold. It had been the only way to keep it from falling.

His stomach churned whenever he relived his work. He hoped Lightbringer- the Spirit, not the blade- did not mind. He never sensed apprehension, so she was at least tolerant.

His other belongings were stowed in a leather satchel; notes, extra clothes and Fila's gift. Opening it now, he tucked the amulet within the bundled-and-twined papers, sealed between two pages that would hopefully explain it's presence to Dorian Pavus. Holding his whole life in one hand, he drew the curtain and offered Marcus a curt nod.

“For someone who doesn't believe in the Maker, you do a lot of bloody praying.” He scolded while clasping Lavellan's shoulder, steering as was his habit.

“I have my own gods.” He rebuffed, then bounced the satchel on his shoulder. “If I fall, what will happen to my belongings?”

“I don't know. Salvage anything useful and throw them out, probably.” He was already impatient. Anything not explicitly stated on his schedule was treated as petty. Usually Lavellan would relent on something so small- not wanting to ire the Templar Commander- but this was important.

“There are notes in my pack that may prove valuable to my tutor, should I fall.”

“Really now?” The mention of Dorian Pavus inspired a sneer, even nameless. “Then I'll give them to Irving.”

The Keeper's chest tightened.

“Irving will not know what to do with them. They should be given to my tutor.”

This rebellious note was received as well as could be expected; Marcus halted and shot daggers with his stare.

“Are you giving me an order, Lavellan? If you're so worried about your things then make sure you don't fall, then you can do whatever you want with them.”

He both despised that and was oddly encouraged- but was as sharp in his demeanour.

“I will not fall.”

They ascended and he was permitted to leave his satchel in the room that would be his if he survived. Marcus tapped a plated boot incessantly but allowed him to set Fila's rune above the bed. After that the Templar's patience was spent and he was driven single-mindedly to the highest floor of the tower.