#mentalhealth disorder meds musings thoughts personal ocd add adhd sociopath psycopathy

[mymentalmusings1-blog]

Mental Health Experience #1

In interest of having an outlet to express my rapid and often overwhelming thoughts, I have decided to start writing down my various thoughts and musings about a topic that I feel I am very familiar with, the ultra-controversial topic of mental health. My name is Mike and over my life I have been diagnosed with a wide range of mental health disorders. My diagnosis’s include Type 1 and Type 2 sociopathic tendencies, OCD, ADD/ADHD, depression and all types of anxiety disorders. All the fun stuff. I want to start off my writing with a disclaimer. I am not a doctor nor have I ever had any type of formal education on human psychology, everything I am going to be writing about is based off of my own personal experiences, research and struggles with mental health. This is a product of my own personal demons, if you will. Everything you read is 100% honest and real. I will never fabricate an experience or thought to make it seem more dramatic and on the other side of things I will not downplay or sugar-coat anything to make it seem more politically correct. This is a fair warning to anyone reading this. I do not care about your opinions on my thoughts and experiences or choices I have made. This is my real and honest views on my own personal mental health. Hopefully I can make this interesting and relatable to anyone having similar issues of their own.  

              Over time I have accepted that this is how my brain functions. Whether it is something I was born with, a product of my surroundings, past traumas, a chemical imbalance or just the way the fucking wind is blowing. I have come to terms with the fact that ultimately mental health disorders are not something that can be cured. Sure, depending on what is going on with your brain, and what you are dealing with the symptoms of these biological misfires can be controlled through many different forms of therapy or medication (prescribed or otherwise), but in the end of the day its just as much a part of you as anything else. Its just something you learn to live and cope with.

              All of the many exciting things that can possibly be wrong with you are what makes you who you are. Its what defines your personality and separates you from the rest of society. Some people want to fit in and be “normal”. Personally, I cant think of a worse hell than being just like everyone else. Being just another face in the crowd seems treacherous and boring. Being regular takes far more effort than being different and what do you accomplish? Social acceptance? Meaningless validation? Who gives a shit. If you’re just like everyone else you limit what you are capable of and will never be extraordinary.

              Having a mental disorder (or many mental disorders) takes over who you are as a person. The way a mental disorder is diagnosed is based on how it effects your life and day to day activity. I will never refer to one of these misfire disorders as a handicap. The way it effects and takes a toll on your life is solely based on how you let it affect you. I prefer to look at my disorders as an advantage. There is no better feeling In the world than facing your mental obstacle head on and doing everything in you power to conquer everything in your path. Even if you fail what you set out to accomplish you know you stood up to your fears and faced it with a giant FUCK YOU. Guess what, facing these challenges make you a stronger person. Your problems don’t get easier, why would they? You just become a little stronger and learn to use these things to your advantage.

              Over my next few entries I will be giving an inside look at how I view mental health disorders, the challenges they bring up and how they can be used to your advantage. Your challenges don’t make you special but they can make you stronger.