#men fall in love with women and EXPECT their feelings to be reciprocated

[jaxie101]

i normally hate it when people through around the term misogynistic bc it waters it down and makes it meaningless but CHRIST

“katniss is toxic bc she strings two guys along for fun” gale was toxic and manipulative and did nothing but make her life harder and she was with peeta because if she WASN’T her family would have been killed. if you think katniss is the toxic one for being manipulated and blackmailed then i genuinely do think you’re just misogynistic

[keytomind]

The right woman isn’t going to pick an argument with you for game or sport. She has had her fill of that bullshit and she is tired of it. If she picks an argument with you, it’s because she wants to teach you something important. She wants you to grow as a person or she wants the two of you to grow as a power couple. The right woman isn’t here for a fight. She is here to love you.

The right woman doesn’t need a boy; she needs a man. She needs a man who is capable of elevating himself, a man who does not mind being corrected if it is going to make him a better person. She needs a man who points the finger at himself before he dares point it outward at anyone or anything else. She needs a man of confidence who will inspire her to do better for herself and her family. The right woman no longer has any patience for boys, except for her sons (and even that wears thin).

The right woman wants to suffocate and drown herself in your masculinity. It makes her feel warm, loved, safe, and protected. By providing her with your masculine energy, you are creating an environment that allows her to radiate her own feminine energy, which is something that every man truly needs. He needs her loving warmth in order to balance himself out and to become the best version of himself. His voice, his mind, and his body will all be able to relax from the wars that he fights every day. The right woman is not threatened by toxic masculinity as she understands that the only thing toxic about masculinity is the absence of it in a man.

The right woman does not hide behind her man. Although she often wants him to lead and to assert his masculine energy appropriately, she will fight alongside him like a warrior Queen. And even though he would rather she stayed out of harm’s way, she would even stand in front of him and take a bullet to protect him. She goes to battle next to him whenever necessary and she safeguards his darkest secrets under lock and key. The right woman does not run away; she plants her feet like roots and she weathers the storm right next to him.

The right woman does not make excuses. She knows that she is not perfect and that there is still much that she can learn. She possesses the raw emotional intelligence to know that she isn’t always correct. She loves for him to teach her new things without belittling her or making her feel unintelligent. She takes accountability when she is wrong and she does her best to take action whenever possible. She is a true Goddess to the world who craves to be soft and little in the arms of the deserving man. The right woman is a force to be reckoned with.

The right woman learns his love language without asking, although there is no shame in asking in order to learn better. She studies his every move - what does he like, what does he want, what does he need - what turns him on, what makes him happy, what does he hold close to his heart.. what does he fear… she wants to know every single detail so that she can love him correctly. And the right woman should only expect the same reciprocity for herself.

The right woman understands that we are a team and that he is not a punching bag. Men are conditioned to be protective and to be strong, but men also fall weak because the human body can only take so much abuse, and some of our greatest battles are fought in our minds. This is not a sign of a lack of strength but rather it is an indication that he must rest as he is exhausted from fighting certain battles alone. While he would rather she did not engage in certain battles, he needs help dressing his wounds, protecting his body, and relaxing his mind so that he can safely remove his armor. The right woman will spring to action without having to be asked as nurturing him to health is her greatest reward.

The right woman doesn’t need to fight other women if they show you favorable attention. She knows to handle such battles with grace and she does not need to clench her fists. She instead will walk right into view, grab you by your tie, kiss you like it might be your last night on earth, and cling to you like a lifeboat while making eye contact with her newfound enemy, letting her know who won the battle without firing a single shot. Again, the right woman is a masterful Goddess who claims her territory appropriately.

The right woman comes in many different forms. She varies in shape, size, color, beauty, attitude, and much more. She will have her heart broken, probably more than once, by a man who did not value her for looking differently on the exterior. This will wound her temporarily, but in time, the right woman rises from her ashes and she learns her worth. If another man doesn’t value her for any such reasons, then she dodged a bullet because, ladies, I fucking promise you that there is a man out there, perhaps many men, who adore you exactly the way you are. If you aren’t his cup of tea, so be it, and if he doesn’t want you for you, the right woman knows when to say “fuck em”.

The right woman deserves absolutely nothing less than the right man, for without the right woman, that man is nobody and nothing. She makes him whole. She gives him great purpose. She gives him life and energy that had evaded him for years before they met each other. He would die for her as she would die for him, and it will be hell when the day comes that they are forced to live without each other. She may bless him with a family one day, but if not, they will make their home warm and full of the love that they both need to enjoy their time spent here in this life.

The right woman is absolutely fucking priceless. Fight for her and, when you do, the right woman will fight for you.

[neiptune]

ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

c/w: 11k wc, SUGGESTIVE, summer romance, strangers to fwb to lovers, eren is a surfing instructor, overall it's just a light and hopefully enjoyable story full of sea, conflicting feelings & newfound friendships! it's been a minute since i published anything but i'd love to come back with part 2 if you guys enjoy :)

i've read i wish you would by @meowzfordayz so many times i eventually got inspired to write my own lil summery piece 🤍

PART 2

Eren doesn’t think anything of it.

He’s used to being watched as he runs back and forth by the shoreline, salt drying on his tan skin and surfboard faithfully tucked underneath his arm.

He’s used to drawing the interest of girls, women and some men whenever he hangs out at the beach cafe with his friends. Eren actually gets a kick out of the thrilled glances he receives as he travels from thick towels to colorful beach umbrellas, in search of strangers bold enough to take part in a volleyball match against his team.

But it’s the third day, your yellow towel is always in the same spot and he finds himself glancing back at you more often than not. You’re a tourist, most probably from the city. It’s clear from how you shield yourself from the sun and the way you keep attempting to brush the sand off your legs with a frown he finds comical. You’re a reader, if the thick book you carry around in that straw bag is an indicator. You’re also alone, he’s never seen you in the company of a friend or a relative. Or a boyfriend.

Somehow, you manage to pique his interest, if only for the smile you grant when meeting him halfway to give back the ball Sasha’s serve has conveniently thrown too far away. As he watches you walk back to your towel and right as he manages to catch the brief glance you shoot him from over your shoulder, Eren thinks he just needs the right chance to try his evergreen luck once more.

Fortunately, the perfect opportunity comes earlier than expected.

He’s fresh out of the water, one hand running through brown locks rendered thicker by ocean salt. The pace is cheerful as they walk towards the cafe, hungry as ever after what felt like hours on end of catching waves, adrenaline slowly flowing out of their bodies and heart rate calming down. Eren spots you right away, suddenly so distracted he doesn’t reciprocate Jean’s playful shove nor does he wince in annoyance when he flicks his forehead.

You’re sitting across from Connie and Sasha, polite smile that turns into laughter at what’s most probably one of his friend’s lame jokes. Despite Jean’s yo! that loudly announces their presence, it’s Eren’s the face your gaze flickers to. The smile is still there and wouldn’t it be unkind of him not to return it?

“Man, I’m so hungry I could eat a horse” Jean is absolutely oblivious to your presence and ungracefully lets himself fall down onto one of the rattan stools.

“Burgers are on their way” Sasha pushes her plate of fries towards him and he thanks her with a grin so bright it’s blinding. Her hair is still wet from the lazy swim she took shortly after they arrived at the beach, auburn hair drenched in enough red saturation to contrast with her magenta bikini. 

“I don’t think we’ve met” Eren hasn’t let his eyes shift from your features, so relaxed while witnessing his friends’ antics. You lazily return your attention to him once more and, with a pleasant squeeze of his stomach, he senses the anticipation. Is this encounter so casual, after all? Or is everything going exactly how you’ve been wanting it to? Either way, he’s more than fine with it.

“We haven’t” you reply with a sweet smile, offering a hand he oh so easily envelops in his.

Connie introduces you and your name rolls off from his tongue with a fond inflection already.

“She’s gonna spend the summer here and doesn’t really know anyone—” he interrupts himself to land a protective slap to the back of Jean’s head. He’s been choking down way too many of Sasha’s fries.

“She was asking for some advice on what to do, where to go” Sasha takes it from there, flashes you a smile “so we invited her to join us tonight”

“And I already said I don’t want to intrude” you shrink in your seat a little and Jean scoffs at your demeanor, a lazy wave of the hand to brush your concerns off.

“It’s cool. The more, the merrier”

“Besides” Eren worms his way into the conversation “you’re gonna need reliable allies if you want to survive in the wild”

Genuine amusement settles at the corners of your lips while you take note of the jovial glint in his mirth gaze.

It’s exactly what you must look like to them, you think while trying to decide what to wear for the impending night out. An outsider in need of some guidance, the right companionship not to feel too lost while attempting to navigate the pathetically lonely summer ahead of you.

The simple truth is that you don’t really mind being on your own. This was a last minute, impulsive trip you had booked without thinking too much about it. You sort of wanted to get accustomed to the quieter life, idyllic days puncuated by late brunches, ocean waves crashing against the shore, the familiar rustle of pages of your favorite books, perhaps a movie or two while comfortably snuggled in the big, soft bed your small vacation rental came with.

All you’re actually after is a peaceful summer but sure enough you don’t mind meeting a person or two, nice people you can have a chat with at the beach instead of spending hours on end listening to true crime podcasts. You don’t mind having an excuse to finally put on something other than your sleeping shorts, pull out the only lipstick you have carried with you halfway across the country and actually spend some time outside of your room.

You definitely don’t mind having the chance to get to know hot surfer boy either, pretty much the embodiment of any summer romance trope a girl could think of. Doesn’t take a genius to understand that he’d be the main character in each individual one.

Attractive? Check. Charming? Check. Residing on a remote island in the middle of the ocean? Check. Eats, sleeps and breathes just to flirt with anything that moves? Most probably, check.

And although romance is definitely not what either of you are after, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to have some harmless fun.

Isn’t that what summers are for?

That’s the thought you carry with you as you approach their table at the bar, a confident smile hopefully concealing the slight tension in your shoulders. In the end, you opted for a striped blouse and a simple, white denim skirt.

Connie enthusiastically chirps your name and Eren, who is seated on the outer edge of the booth seating, makes room for you right away. The space is cramped enough for everyone to be basically leaning against each other and you think it’s not exactly a coincidence that your thigh has to be flush against Eren’s in order to fit in the booth.

“You have to try this, it’s amazing!”, Sasha grins while gently pushing her drink towards you, the glass leaving a trail of condensation on the mahogany table. You lean over to take a small sip from the green straw. It’s a classic piña colada, the frozen blend of pineapple and creamy coconut a little too sweet for your liking.

“Think I’ll go with a moscow mule” you smile an apologetic smile and she just shrugs, unimpressed.

“I second that” a gentle yet unfamiliar gaze meets yours, copper mug raised in a metaphoric toast “I’m Armin, so nice having you with us tonight!”

“Thanks, Armin” with a soft chuckle you introduce yourself as well.

They’re such a diverse group but manage to fit amazingly well together, you find. The common denominator is genuine friendliness, there’s not an ounce of fabrication in the kind tone used to direct questions your way, each and everyone of those present genuinely curious and determined to make you feel included.

“You can’t be serious” Connie’s nose scrunches in a displeased grimace “books? Tv shows? Is that seriously what you’ve been doing?”

“I’m technically on vacation” your weak attempt at justifying yourself is laughed at.

“A great reason not to stay indoors the whole damn day” Jean downs his third beer of the evening and points a finger in your direction “consider yourself under our wing from now on”

“Not sure sweating under the sun while jumping after a ball matches my idea of fun” you give him a skeptical albeit playful look.

Sasha, three piña coladas in, slams her fist on the table .

“That’s exactly what I tell them every summer!”

“No one forces you to play like, ever” Connie smirks her way “wish you’d spare us the agony of having you on the team actually”

“He’s kidding” Armin is quick to chime in, alarmed by the childlike astonishment suddenly filling Sasha’s big brown eyes.

“What’s your idea of fun, then?” a deep, warm voice pulls you away from the funny scene taking place in front of you.

“This night is fun” you smile, gaze finally meeting sage eyes that have been so intently focused on you throughout the evening. Your leg is still shamelessly pressing against his, more of an intentional touch than a forced one. The amount of warmth radiating through his jeans is enough to send a shudder down your spine.

Eren mirrors your smile.

“We’re fun people” he concedes “what else?”

You pause, pensive for a moment. It’d be great to actually be the mysterious, secretly entertaining stranger from the city he’s probably picturing but the sour truth is that you own a boring, quite ordinary personality.

“Reading at the beach instead of my bed?” you crack another smile, met with a chuckle and an eyeroll this time.

“Ever tried surfing?” despite the amused expression, it’s clear he’s not mocking you.

“I literally live in Tokyo”

“Not even on vacation? As a kid? Ever?”

It’s cute, the authentic shock painting his features. So you smile again with a slight shrug.

Eren clicks his tongue.

“I’ll teach you. You’ll never be the same again”

This time it’s you who’s laughing as he frowns.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just trying to picture how many girls you must’ve said that to”

Slightly taken aback, he offers half a smile.

“I don’t need to say that to girls, I’m actually an instructor”

“Right, so they come looking for you anyway”

“What’s this sudden interest in how I get girls?”

You innocently cross your ankles underneath the table, which causes your leg to press against his a little more.

“Not sudden”

Another boyish smirk splits across his face as he leans slightly closer, a dangerously inviting scent enveloping your senses already. He’s not even wearing any cologne.

“Seriously, come take a look tomorrow” Eren pauses for a second, intentionally, eyes travelling down to the soft curve of your lips “I usually make it fun, or so I’m told”

Sulking in your seat, you playfully raise your eyebrows because this is a game two should play.

“Does that mean you’re not gonna show me your place tonight?”

Without missing a beat, Eren fakes a pensive hum, magnetic gaze shamelessly lingering on your lips again.

“I might. If you promise to come take a look tomorrow”

He’s not one to be intimidated and, as a matter of fact, he has been fighting the urge to place a hand on your thigh for the entire night.

You huff, newly found boldness courtesy of the second moscow mule and the thrill of the unknown. Surf is something you’ve never been interested in and you sincerely doubt all the women telling him how good of a teacher he is weren’t simply after the same thing you are being offered right now. But if a little stroke of the ego and some acquiescence will get you what you want, which is for him to finally just touch you, would you really be dumb enough to miss the perfect opportunity?

“Fine. I’ll stop by” you concede but whatever he has to say in response gets harshly sucked in by Sasha’s sobs.

The invisible bubble that had shortly enveloped you both suddenly bursts with a pop as you redirect your attention to the rest of the party. Jean seems genuinely horrified, Connie is just laughing with literal tears in his eyes as he watches Armin whisper comforting words to their friend.

“What the hell did you say to her?” you’re slightly surprised to hear the protective annoyance embedded in Eren’s tone, especially when you thought he’d just laugh the whole situation off.

“Nothing!” panic makes Jean’s voice squeaky and Connie only laughs harder, slamming a hand on the table.

“She thinks the ocean has dried up!” he can barely spell the words out before erupting in another fit of laughter right as Sasha’s desperate sobs increase in volume.

“Sash, I promise nothing has happened to the ocean” Eren attempts to gently take one of her hands and move it away from her face but she just harshly slaps his fingers away.   

“I don’t believe you!” she wails so heartbreakingly Armin deems wise to catiously hide what’s left of her drink behind one of Jean’s beer bottles.

“Sasha” you softly chime in and perhaps it’s because your voice is still unfamiliar that she looks up, puffy eyes and blotchy cheeks “I just got back from the beach, with a gift” it takes everything in you not to laugh as her eyes widen in shock when you pull out a glass of water from underneath the table.

“Special ocean water, just for you”

“How did you get that?” before you even have the chance to come up with a believable answer, Sasha gasps so audibly a few people turn around to look at your table “are you a mermaid?”

Connie is howling with laughter at this point, as Jean slaps a hand to his mouth to no avail. Eren just sighs.

“Why do we let her drink every time?” he mutters under his breath.

You ignore each and every one of them as you inch across the table, palms facing upward.

“You can’t tell anyone” the conspiratorial whisper is what probably gets her as she leans over in turn, absolutely amazed while inspecting your wet fingertips.

“Guess it’s time to take her home” with a sigh of relief, Armin finally relaxes in his seat.

“Your turn” Connie grins mischievously at Eren, who just rolls his eyes.

“I could use a hand” his lips conveniently brush against the shell of your ear as he pretends the sudden proximity was nothing but a natural consequence of his standing up. You follow suit with a soft smile and so does Sasha, who refuses to let go of your hand.

“We’re not like this all the time” Armin looks exhausted and something tells you he’s usually the one responsible for keeping tabs whenever things get out of control. It suits his kind nature, or at least that’s the impression you get after spending a few hours with him.

“Will you come to the beach tomorrow? I’d really like to continue that conversation about confessional poetry” and so you smile at him, no ulterior motive besides the genuine pleasure that comes with meeting a new potential friend with interests so similar to yours.

Sasha impatiently pulls you by the hand as Eren balances her body against his, an arm around her waist to make sure she stands.

“Yeah” warmth radiates from the tired albeit gentle smile Armin offers you “I’ll bring my Robert Lowell book”

“Remember what I said” Jean scoffs impatiently as Connie waves goodbye with a pestiferous grin glued to his face “our wing. Fun summer. No more indoors”

“Aye aye, captain” you chuckle.

“Let’s go!” Sasha tugs at your blouse twice and Eren has to literally keep her from collapsing on the floor when she clumsily stumbles upon her own feet.

You gently untangle your hand from her grabby fingers and secure her arm around your shoulders, careful not to fall yourself as she suddenly leans in to press her nose to your cheek.

“Your hair smells like the ocean” she mumbles dreamily and you can’t hold back the giggle that bubbles from your throat while you help her out of the bar, Connie’s chuckle the last thing you register before stepping out in the humid hair of the night.

“Everything okay over there?” Eren can’t help but smile when he glances in your direction, sincerely amused by the way his friend is all over you.

“Absolutely” your smile is intended for Sasha instead, who is walking pretty much blindly since her undivided attention is still focused on something that’s entirely different from the sidewalk. With a careful brush of your thumb, you clean off some of the smudged mascara underneath her eyes.

“Maybe someone should’ve stayed with her” you discreetly whisper over her head.

“She’ll be fine. I’ll tuck her in, make sure she wakes up with water and some painkillers nearby” Eren meets Sasha’s gaze and laughs when she grins widely at him.

“You’re my best friend!” she cheers so loudly you jump a little “the best Eren I know!”

“I’m the only Eren you know” he gently flicks her forehead, fingers barely grazing her skin.

You chuckle again, too caught up in the moment to realize how disarmingly nice and attentive and attractive he actually is.

Sasha is not steady enough on her legs but you can barely feel the weight you’re supposedly sustaining, Eren most likely doing the majority of the work. He hums and distractedly mumbles reassuring nothings in response to his friend’s incessant nonsense, still more amused than annoyed. When you reach her apartment at last they both insist you step in with them, Sasha being particularly excited at the thought of showing you her seashell collection (“it’ll make you feel at home!”) but you kindly refuse and watch as he quite literally drags her inside while she enthusiastically waves and promises to visit you the next day. Whether she means to come by your place or dive underwater, you can’t tell.

Because of what you’re wearing, sitting on the sidewalk is a hard pass. Still, Sasha doesn’t live far from the beach, much like basically every other island resident. You don’t mind waiting outside, not when you can hear the faint sound of crashing waves and the brackish breeze gently ruffles your hair.

It’s relaxing, really, getting to quietly stand by as everything else drifts before you. Couples taking a stroll by the shore nothing more than dark silhouettes barely discernible from where you’re standing, an old man slowly pushing a gelato cart and then stopping to take a break, groups of friends loudly making their way through the street as some bystanders direct them glances expressing disapproval.

“Hey” Eren materializes next to you out of thin air, a smile tugging at his lips when you wince “want one?”

With a small nod, he indicates the ice cream cart. You smile back.

“Ah, no, thanks. Is she okay?”

Something passes through his handsome face, some sort of indefinite emotion gone before you have the chance to even fully notice it, the apology remaining tucked up in the corner of his mouth.

“Out like a light. C’mon, I want one, we can share”

He doesn’t give you the time to decline again. You just have to promptly follow him not to fall behind as he marches towards the vendor. They seem to know each other: Eren calls him uncle Katsu and the older man seems delighted about the encounter. He asks if his favorite customer wants the usual but Eren glances at you, amusement conquering his relaxed features once more.

“Nah, she wouldn’t understand. Give me something more tourist friendly”

Brows furrowed, you open your mouth to protest but you’re cut off by Katsu’s boisterous laugh.

Sullen, you end up with a butter pecan cone Eren lets you hold more than a fair amount of time for two people who are supposed to be eating equal amounts of ice cream.

“What’s the usual?” you grumble and he grins walking beside you, hands shoved in pockets and pace comfortably slow.

“Pineapple, with chunks”

“Nice” the attempt at playing off your skepticism as nonchalance fails miserably.

“You’re gonna try it eventually, I’m just giving you some time to get accustomed to the wilderness first”

With a huff you pass him the cone, trying to ignore the pleasant flip of your stomach at his words. Is he assuming you’ll hang out more than just this once?

“You really like living here” it’s a sincere observation that just slips out, past all the casual facade you’re trying to keep up.

Eren shrugs but there’s fondness in the way he looks at the ordinary street ahead of him.

“I do. Can’t imagine myself anywhere else”

The affection vibrating in his tone makes you bitter. You never experienced that sense of belonging, not to a place, not even to your own family. The only person who’s ever been the closest at becoming home has let you down so violently, so suddenly, your scarred skin is still having a hard time healing itself.

Eren peers down at you, taking in your pensive expression. He wonders why you look so gloomy all of a sudden, if your friends ever call while you’re busy spending your days all by yourself on the other side of Japan. He wonders why you’re here on your own.

“What about you?” his tone is light, poised between genuine curiosity and the urge to elicit a shred of actual information “how come you’re staying here all summer?”

The gloom dissipates so abruptly it hardly looks natural.

“Ah, my rich parents agreed to pay for the vacation so why not take full advantage of their kindness?” you shrug with a smile that hopefully covers up the lie well enough. His furrowed brows indicate that he’s not fully convinced but genuine intimacy and heartfelt confessions in the middle of the night are not what you need nor what you want, therefore it’s only fair to batten down the hatches.

“So, where’s this place of yours? Far from here?” you jokingly ask with a light shove of your shoulder to his arm.

Eren pauses for a second, seeming so taken aback you feel your face getting hot with embarrassment.

“You actually want—”

“You don’t—”

Both of you look at each other with furrowed brows, until he stops in his tracks.

Fuck.

“Uh” you let out a nervous chuckle “I’m so sorry. That was weird of me, I don’t know what I was thinking. Probably stood in the sun too long today. Anyway, I can totally walk myself home, don’t feel obligated to—”

He too laughs but, again, it’s not to poke fun at your pathetic little self.

“Not much of a talker, huh?” the playful glint in his eyes only contributes to embarrass you further, so he promptly softens his tone “I should be the one apologizing. I just thought you wouldn’t want to, you know, after Sasha and everything”

You blink a few times, candidly confused.

“No? I mean, I like Sasha. I like all your friends” it’s the unexpected truth, one that makes him smile.

For a split second, he considers asking if you like him too, even if your willingness to let him take you home already speaks volumes. But why would he? If Sasha getting absolutely plastered and almost throwing up on you wasn’t enough of a turn off, Eren should just shut the fuck up and savour the opportunity he’s been waiting for ever since seeing you at the beach for the first time. He’s been picturing the pretty creases of that blouse on his bedroom floor pretty much the entire evening.

“I’m just a few blocks away” therefore he smiles that attractive smirk of his, right before taking one last bite of the crumbly cone in his cream-stained hand.

“Don’t feel compelled to—”

“You look beautiful right now” Eren cuts you off abruptly, words dying in your throat as you look back in shock “the whole night, actually. The last thing I’m feeling is compelled” his noses scrunches slightly, as if feeling nauseated by the ridiculous assumption alone.

Another beat passes before you allow your lungs to deflate with the release of a breath.

“Okay” you mutter, still dazed by the sudden, straightforward flattery.

Eren’s smile grows in softness this time. An entire second is spent thinking that smile suits him more than the confident smirk of a moment ago.

“Okay” he says back.

When he arrives at the beach the next morning, earlier than usual, he spots you right away. You’re sitting on your yellow towel and seem engaged in a heated discussion with his best friend, both of you interrupting the other with a frantic gesturing of hands.

Eren stops for a second, surfboard planted in the sand for good measure, one hand on top of the other as he just takes a moment to observe you. His mind travels back to the slight disappointment swallowing the convenience of waking up with an empty spot next to him, the sun bleeding through the shutters because he’d forgotten to close them. How could he had remembered with your fingers running through his hair and the goosebumps blossoming on his forearms?

He didn’t have the time to explore you like he had intended to, he couldn’t take his time because you were so eager and it was surprising how impatient Eren found himself to be in turn, how rapidly you adapted to each other. He even remembers genuinely enjoying the short, embarrassing incidents that came with growing accustomed to such a sudden yet highly anticipated proximity: your head bumping into his while straddling his lap, him knocking over the lamp from his nightstand, airy laughs swallowed by each other’s mouths.

Little to no foreplay was needed, the memory of your fingers closing around his wrist to confidently guide his hand between your legs still pulsing in his mind. He barely got the chance to kiss you, nowhere near as how he would’ve liked to, his lips being hastily reclaimed everywhere else.

He’s not even sure why he’s still lingering there, uncertain. Eren’s had countless one night stands before but once both parties got what they needed none of them were really there to hang out again, certainly nowhere near his friends anyway. He’s had longer affairs with tourists, mutual attraction and harmless fun lasting from days to weeks, his conquests eventually recognizing Jean or exchanging a few pleasantries with Connie. But this has never really happened. He’s never made plans with someone before even getting to the point of having them in his bed, for the next day no less. He’s never frowned upon waking up alone and he’s definitely never chuckled while barefoot in his own kitchen, the messily scribbled note you had tucked underneath his french press in hand.

Your coffee sucks.

You didn’t even bother to wash the mug abandoned in his sink but still you made sure he’d wake up to a freshly brewed serving anyway.

Eren’s never truly liked any of his one night stands enough to frame them as potential friends in the long run and so it was a little unsettling, the feeling that you were just about to change that.

“Can you believe they deemed this as lazy writing?” Armin’s finger skims across the page he’s holding open, underlining a particular verse “now the hot river, ebbing, hauls its bloody waters into holes; a grain of sand inside my shoe mimics the moon that might undo man and creation too”

You hum, appreciative.

“It’s the absence of flowered language. Nobody liked reading about raw trauma and dramatic events but at the root of hypocrisy is always fear and low self-esteem” with a little shrug, you smile “essentially, they were a bunch of assholes”

“You can’t truly appreciate poetry if life scares you” for some reason, Armin’s words make your insides twist for a second. You remember one of your favorite Anne Sexton’s poems and its brutal honesty: suicides have a special language, like carpenters they want to know which tools. They never ask why build. It felt dangerously similar to how you were living.

“Enough of this unsettling realness” Armin closes his book with a loud thud and gently places it between your bodies, on your soft towel. You wonder if he’s noticed your sudden gloom or if he just genuinely wants to talk about something else. “Anything fun planned today? I know Jean can be insufferable but we do have some cool activities around here” he smiles.

“Eren wanted me to check out his lesson but I’m not sure surf could ever be my thing” the smile you return is shy, because you don’t want to sound ungrateful nor make the conversation weird. It’s pretty evident that you’ve spent the night with him, if only from the hickeys scattered at the base of your throat. Armin has just been nothing but a gentleman, too polite to even stare at them.

Once again, he doesn’t even falter at the mention of his friend’s name.

“Still, you should give it a go! I used to think the same and now I can’t go a day without riding a wave. Even when I’m not on vacation, if the weather’s nice enough I’m here as soon as I’m done working” he grins.

“I never asked what you do, by the way”

“I’m a copy editor in a publishing house, mainly work from home but sometimes I travel to Tokyo. Leaves me a lot of freedom, really. What about you?”

You hesitate. But he’s looking at you so candidly, head slightly tilted to the side, that you can’t find it in yourself to lie.

“I’ve been laid off a few weeks ago, actually. I was a winemaker at a pretty famous winery in town”

Armin lets out a slow whistle.

“That sounds so cool!”

You chuckle.

“All I do is monitor the maturity of grapes, oversee the process and place orders”

“I’d love to visit once you start somewhere else. I’m sure it’s gonna happen in no time” he places a warm hand on your shoulder and briefly squeezes it. You’ve never experienced the kindness of a stranger, not at such a high level anyway. As you thank him with a touched smile, for the first time this impulsive vacation doesn’t feel like just a way out anymore.

“I suggest you two sit closer to the shore, the first group of the day is gonna be here soon” a playful voice interrupts your chitchat and you look up to find a familiar figure silhouetted against sunlight right before your towel. A flash of embarrassment seems to take over his features for a few seconds as he takes notice of the now very much noticeable marks on your skin. But then he just smiles that friendly smile of his, one that tells you there’s a chance of not letting any potential awkwardness stand in the way of what could become a harmless friendship. You appreciate the maturity.

“Wanna help me out?” Eren then looks at Armin, who’s squinting his eyes in attempt to stare back.

“I’ll keep her company. Maybe later, with the kids”

“You’re pretty special, he never skips the chance to hop on a surfboard”

As you get up and start collecting your things, Armin’s book secured underneath your arm while he helps you out with the towel, you briefly glance at Eren with half a smile.

“Let’s see if you’re good enough to convince me to get on one in the first place”

He rolls his eyes, feigning exasperation.

“Just watch me”

And so, you and Armin look at each other with an equally amused smile, the complicity over a moment so simple warming your heart.

While sitting there with him, feet sunk into where the sand is cool and damp, you observe Eren with genuine curiosity. The variegated group he’s handling consists of ten people, it’s most probably not their first class as everyone seems to already know what to do.

They’re going over what they’ve learned until now, Eren repeating instructions out loud and nodding proudly as his students comply. Two girls, friends by the looks of it, keep asking him to help them position their bodies better on the surfboard. When the blonde one fails to properly stand up and her foot theatrically slips, with an exaggerated grimace she begs him to support her weight as she tries again. With Eren’s hands on her hips, she succeeds in hopping up with a form so perfect you can hardly hold back a scoff. Armin chuckles beside you.

“It’s pretty much always like that”

“No way” you mock “that’s crazy!”

“I mean, it’s kinda part of the job to go along with it” he shrugs.

Does he think I’m jealous or something?

“You didn’t have to stay” there’s softness in your tone, just to make sure he doesn’t take it the wrong way, but he blushes nonetheless.

“It doesn’t happen as often to me” the spluttering makes you giggle. You’re not blind: he has arms, he has abs, shoulders wide enough to well pique one’s interest and a smile so sweet he’s probably the favorite instructor of more than one student.

“I find that hard to believe” the implied compliment tints his cheeks with a richer pink and he runs a hand through his fair hair to conceal the embarrassment.

“But I didn’t mean it like that” you decide to put an end to his misery “I just meant, feel free to go ride some waves”

Armin shakes his head.

“I have the entire day to do that” he smiles “and no one else likes to talk about books with me”

“But your group is great. You guys seem pretty close”

“We all grew up here, I’ve known Eren since kindergarten and I met everyone else along the way. Some of us you didn’t meet actually, like Christa and Mikasa”

“They don’t live here anymore?”

Armin sighs, plants his heel in the sand a little deeper.

“Yeah, they moved for college and never really came back. They prefer the city”

You can understand that, to be honest. You grew up in a small town near the countryside and although it’s not nearly comparable to an even smaller island, you remember the primal need to run away, driven by the firm belief that there’s surely more to explore, better ways to live and opportunities to seize in the big city. Back then, Tokyo felt like a dream. An endless pool of magical possibilities.

“You probably think it’s insane, wanting to stay on an island that only comes alive a few months per year” Armin’s gaze is lost across the ocean, so you look ahead too. Eren’s group is in the water now, paddling in and taking off on the foam that propels colorful surfboards onto the waves. Most of the students previously warming up by the shore succeeds in remaining upright, cheered on by those who have either been less brave or simply not balanced enough.

“No, I think wanting to stay requires a lot of love. I never had that for the place I grew up in”

“And are you happy now, in Tokyo?”

You force your lips into a smile, not daring to look him in the eyes.

“Yeah, I’m happy”

Another cheerful fit of screams has you both returning your attention to the group challenging the ocean, one particular figure paddling perpendicular to an exceptionally big wave, angling his take off perfectly to the left before popping up and digging the inside rail of his surfboard into the water. Knees bent, he’s a sight for sore eyes as he beautifully rides along the vertical center of the wave, the sun complimenting his tan skin.

“Showoff” you snort and Armin laughs.

“Let’s go get a drink, Sasha makes a killer frozen lemonade”

“Sasha?” you ask, surprised.

He nods.

“She should be on shift today”

“She works at the cafe?”

Armin smiles.

“Her family owns the cafe, actually. She just helps out in the summer, whenever she can catch a break from the internship she’s doing”

And sure enough she’s actually there, all smiles and cheerful pitch behind the counter.

She turns ecstatic as soon as the spots the both of you, calling you by your name with such warmth your cheeks hurt a little from how wide you’re smiling already.

“Hey! How’re you feeling?”

You and Armin sit on the rattan stools opposite to the counter and she leans over with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Amazing, whoever left that ibuprofen on my nightstand has my endless devotion”

“T’was Eren’s turn to take you home” Armin shoots her a good-natured glare, which elicits her silvery laugh.

“I don’t think he was too bothered about it” Sasha’s intentionally looking at you and her grin has your cheeks grow hot.

“Leave her alone, make us some frozen lemonade” Armin gently grabs her chin and directs her attention to him.

“Oh come on, none of Eren’s special friends ever hangs out with us, I want some details!”

“Sasha!” he hisses as you shrink in your seat, head hanging low in embarrassment “you can’t remember this but she’s been nothing but caring last night, they both took you home”

“Armin, there’s no need to—” you mumble but he shows no sign of having heard you.

“It’s none of our business what they do” he grumbles, letting go of Sasha’s chin “now, please, lemonade. Before I die of dehydration”

She juts her bottom lip out, sullen, eyes back on you.

“I’m sorry, I was just curious. Don’t get me wrong, I’m actually happy I get to finally spend some time with another girl”

You shake your head with a soft smile.

“Please don’t apologize. You’ve all been way too kind to me”

Truth is, the fear of being seen as nothing but their friend’s easy fuck has been nagging at your brain. Especially since deciding you actually, really like them and wouldn’t mind tagging along if they’ll have you. And, of course, if Eren isn’t bothered. The last thing you wanna spend your summer doing is imposing your presence to a group of childhood friends just because you’ve had sex with one of them. That’d be gross.

“Here, it’s on the house” Sasha slides two tall glasses of frozen lemonade across the counter.

Armin grabs his with a sigh of relief, the creaminess of his drink rapidly decreasing in quantity as he gulps it down quickly. You carefully mix it with your straw, then have a first taste and have to keep yourself from moaning.

“I’m gonna need ten of these” you mutter and they both laugh. It’s genius really, the idea of combining the consistency of a milkshake with the tanginess of freshly squeezed lemonade.

You end up staying at the cafe to keep Sasha company while she prepares orders and entertains you with the latest gossip concerning people you don’t even know. You wonder where she gets all that energy from but you also think it suits her, that bubbly aura she so effortlessly carries around. If customers smile a little brighter and leave generous tips, it’s probably thanks to her never ending friendliness: she remembers their names, special orders and always offers free ice cream to kids. She even has special ice cream for dogs.

After a while, Armin leaves to help Eren with his next group of students, as promised. They’re all children this time, so you doubt they’ll bring them into the water: the whole class consists in some training by the shore, Armin and Eren patiently showing them how to paddle and corretly stand on a surfboard over and over again. When what you can only guess are some heated protests erupt, they patiently allow the kids to practice some paddling as close to the shore as possible. You catch glimpses of Eren’s smile and hear his laugh when two kids start splashing him with water, deaf to Armin most probably attempting to draw their attention to the lesson once again.

Eventually, he’s forced to surrender too, as one particularly agile kid climbs onto his shoulders and demands to be carried around. The whole class turns into nothing more than a game session and you find yourself smiling.

After each kid is collected by their corresponding family member, Armin doesn’t waste any more time and he swiftly grabs his bigger surfboard to jump into the ocean once more, finally free to chase waves at its own pace. Eren seems to hesitate, lingering by the shore for a moment, looking around as if searching for something. Then he turns around fully, seemingly scanning the cafe and meeting your gaze although, from that distance, you’re not completely sure he’s looking at you specifically. You’re quick to redirect your attention to the pasta salad Sasha has recommended.

“Ah, here comes the athlete” she pulls a face “let’s see how many wraps he’s gonna down, last time it was three”

“Hello, ladies” the familiar voice is so close you feel a shudder run down your spine as memories from the previous night resurface. He’s leaning on the counter, body facing you and arms crossed showcasing swollen biceps you’re surprised are not carrying any signs of the crescents you very clearly remember being a consequence of your tight grip.

“You’re dripping on my napkins” not nearly as dumbstruck as you, Sasha shoos him away with the impatient push of a hand. In response, Eren shakes his head like a dog would after getting a bath, splashing both his friend and you with ice cold water. She flips him off.

“You’re an ass”

“Will you make me one of your delightful wraps if I behave?” he grins like a child while taking a seat next do you.

“One?” Sasha skeptically raises an eyebrow.

“Make it three”

You chuckle as you meet her knowing look, which causes him to turn to you. He’s even prettier up close, salt already drying on his smooth skin, cheeks slightly flushed.

“So? Opinions on getting started with the best sport in the world?”

Pensive, you bring a forkful of pasta to your mouth.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to give it a go”

You had half an idea of teasing him by suggesting Armin be your instructor but the way he quite literally beams at your words forces you to shut right up.

“I’ll pick you up later this afternoon”

“Pick me up?” you frown, confused.

“This beach is way too crowded, there are better places to go”

“So considerate” Sasha loudly places a plate in front of him and Eren just rolls his eyes.

“You don’t even know where I’m staying” trying to swallow yet another lump of awkwardness, you keep your attention on the now almost empty bowl in front of you.  

He huffs, brushing your concern off by gesturing vaguely with a hand.

“I know where all vacation rentals are. Of course, if you wanted, you could make it easier for me”

A funny sound comes out of Sasha’s nose and this time you go along with her demeanor with the raise of a brow.

“If you want my number, just ask” the challenging words roll off your tongue playfully, you don’t really think anything of them.

But much like every other time you thought you had him cornered, he simply looks up from his plate and plants those resolute eyes in yours without so much as a hint of hesitation.

“I want your number”

Why your heart picks up its pace as you both let a beat pass while staring at each other, you don’t really understand. Nevertheless, as the corners of his mouth upturn in a smile with yet another one of Sasha’s scoffs in the background, you think it’s convenient that he’s pretty much doing all the work. Because of course you want his number too.

The place you rented is nothing more than a small beach cottage and while Eren doesn’t exactly live in a penthouse, his house is bigger and way cooler than yours. A mere 100 yards from the beach, it comes with a colorful, eclectic exterior and cute double doors opening out to the porch where he keeps his surfboard, a lounger, one whimsical sign that reads it comes in waves and a small table with two chairs. You don’t really have a porch, just three steps that lead to the front door, which is where you’re sitting while you wait for him to come pick you up. Your straw bag is resting at your feet, filled with the few things he recommended you to bring: sunscreen, a swimsuit, water, all wrapped in a towel. It’s later than you had anticipated and you nervously wonder if he’s actually gonna show up, how long it’s gonna take before you’re done. How ridiculous you’re going to look.

And then he pulls up by your little house with the peeling white paint, window rolled down and one arm gracefully hanging out a silver pickup truck. The two surfboards stored on the bed are reflecting the late afternoon sun.

A light honk has you standing up, his warm smile so wide you can guess the excitement shimmering behind those dark sunglasses.

He pushes the door open for you, so you rush to the car and climb onto the passenger seat. Eren barely gives you the time to fasten your seatbelt before his foot is on the clutch pedal again: his hand swiftly moves the gear shift to the left and then up and the accelerator pedal is pressed down way more harshly than needed.

“You do know that this is probably going to suck, right? I have no idea what to do” you anxiously shift on your seat, to no avail because your back remains glued to it.

Not bothered in the slightest by the ungodly speed he’s driving at, a genuine laugh slips out of him.

“It’s gonna be amazing, I’ll teach you everything you need to know! Plus, I’m taking you to one of my favorite spots, consider yourself lucky” he glances at you with a toothy grin and you let out a panicked sound.

“Look ahead!”

Eren laughs again but complies, not a care in the world or so it seems as he sprints through roads that are way too narrow and bumpy and lacking concrete for him to be driving like that.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, why’s my coffee so bad?”

It’s the first actual semblance of a reference to the previous night. You swallow.

“Too bitter. Coffee shouldn’t be too strong, aggressive and off balance. It definitely shouldn’t have just one flavor either”

“Just like wine?”

Surprised, you just stare at him until he cracks another smile.

“Armin told me. You’re kinda cooler than what you come across as”

Eren fakes a groan when you smack his shoulder.

“I just meant” he refrains from looking at your scowl “you don’t really do yourself justice. All that talk about tv shows and books and spending the summer alone—”

“Those things can be cool too. Sorry, not all of us feel the need to live and look like olympic athletes” you cross your arms, stubbornly averting your gaze from his handsome profile to look ahead like a cross child. That’s how you miss a smirk he promptly suppresses.

“I wasn’t trying to offend you. I really do think you’re cool, regardless of your career”

A beat passes before you reluctantly eye him again.

“You’re tolerable, I guess”

The laugh he lets out is so genuine you have to fight back a smile yourself.

His good mood remains seemingly unaltered throughout the ride, lithe fingers absentmindedly drumming on the steering wheel as he strives to make conversation. By the time you arrive at the secluded beach he’s chosen for your first lesson, your nerves are calm enough for you to be actually excited about what’s to come.

The beach is nothing less than a little slice of paradise, sand so white it almost looks fake and turquoise water so inviting you can’t wait to jump in. For the first time, the island presents itself as something other than an overpriced magnet for seasonal tourists: it’s raw in its beauty, so quiet it’s hard to believe you’re not the only two people currently on an uninhabited piece of land in the middle of the ocean.

One thing you’re learning quickly is that Eren is scarily good at easing unnecessary tension. Perhaps it’s because he never seems to feel any, always so relaxed and ready to handle any unexpected circumstance or setback. Sure, he’s outgoing enough for people to easily like him but there’s something about the genuine smiles he offers to everyone, in the attentive care he reserves to his friends. Despite his well-trained figure and intimidating good looks, his touch is gentle and at times timid. He blushes just like everyone else if you trace the line of his jaw with sweet kisses and emits pleased hums when you run your hand through his hair.

You can tell this isn’t something he has set up to lure you back into his bed: how could it be, with that child-like excitement embedded in the instructions he’s giving you? You don’t even feel self-conscious nor ridiculous wearing the wetsuit he’s brought for you, he’s that great at making it fun and keeping it professional. Well, mostly professional.

For the nth time, you jump up with your feet planted and arms out to your side, stabilizing yourself and feeling the breeze flow through your hair as your personal instructor hums.

“Again” he demands and you huff.

“Are we gonna get into the water eventually? I feel like it’s been an hour of this!”

“It has been an hour of this. Now, do it again”

With a pout, you lie belly-down on your longboard once again. You practice your paddling motion once again and then place your palms on the flat of the board just below your chest. In one quick motion, you push your body up with your arms and tuck your feet up and under you. You had started by getting up to your knees first and then bringing up one foot at a time, but you have gained more confidence over the endless minutes spent practicing the same movements over and over again.

“Look at that. You’re a natural” he finally grins, letting some warmth leak through the all too serious facade.

“Thanks to a good teacher” you smile back and he rolls his eyes, barely refraining from uttering a cocky comeback to your obvious statement. He steps closer, calloused fingers gently placed on your hips and warm breath suddenly ghosting over your cheek.

“Don’t spread your legs like that” he mumbles, his own foot gently pushing from behind your left ankle to guide your foot into a better position “this might feel comfortable but it actually makes it harder to control your movements. Balance is always side-to-side, never front to back”

You comply quietly, the sudden closeness leaving your mouth dry. What the hell? It’s not like you weren’t on top of him just a few hours prior. What on earth could be making you so nervous, like some damn bashful teenager?

“Eyes up” Eren gently grabs your chin to lift your head up “always look in the direction you are going”

His other hand is still on your hip, your skin burning so much at the contact you’re positive his fingers are going to leave a mark somehow.

As he lets you go, you’re left so cold you actually shiver.

“Okay! Let’s take it into the water” he gets down on one knee to secure the leash around your ankle, the pads of his fingers grazing your skin once again sending an electric buzz throughout your veins. What the fuck.

Perhaps he senses your weird bodily reactions because he stands up again and motions you to take your board with the impatient wave of a hand. He has his surfboard too, although after seeing what he’s actually capable of doing with it, you doubt it’s gonna be used to ride an actual wave.

“Just get comfortable first, see how it feels” when you’re both waist deep into the ocean he holds your board for you, helping you lie on it again and chuckling when you slip right off a few times.

“You shouldn’t laugh at your students” with a grimace, you try to hold on to it by curling your fingers around the edges. He untangles your grip immediately, one hand gently pressing on the small of your back to keep you balanced on the slippery surface immediately after.

“Never do that, your hand’s gonna slip off and you’re gonna slash your chin open” a subtle teasing is still laced into his tone, so you roll your eyes.

“Okay. I can do this” you mutter, as determined as ever not to fall off the stupid thing again. You haven’t even started yet.

“I know you can” he sounds so goddamn sincere it’s a pain to refrain from glancing in his direction and actually focus on what you’re supposed to do.

With a deep breath, you start paddling around and although you drink your fair share of water in the process, after a while it starts feeling more natural. Your board planes across the waves, nose slightly up, your feet rightly positioned with your toes grazing the leash string. You paddle with long, deep strokes, and Eren keeps shouting instructions and encouragement even if you stray too far from him.

Adrenaline starts circulating in your system and your confidence gets a boost the first time you manage to pop up and shakily cruise on what’s probably the smallest, insignificant wave in recorded history for three entire seconds before slipping back into the water.

But you shout your astonished cry of victory nevertheless and Eren smiles so widely, so proudly, you let excitement cloud your senses and quite literally jump into his arms. It’s not embarrassing, not even when you realize what you’re doing, because he hasn’t tensed a second and is actually hugging you back, happier than ever for the smallest of accomplishments of someone that’s not even him. Of someone he barely even knows.

“Let’s go” you mutter and actually have to take a poorly balanced step back because he’s not, by any means, the one breaking the impulsive hug “I wanna do it again”

This draws an airy laugh, eyes crinkling at the corners.

“You’re already hooked, aren’t you?”

“I just can’t believe how good it feels!” you beam, absolutely euphoric “hate to admit it but maybe you had a point”

“Yeah, that happens a lot”

“People being skeptical whenever you say anything?”

Eren huffs and then inches closer to brush some wet hair away from where it’s sticking to your cheeks and forehead, his touch pleasantly cool on your heated skin.

“Me being right” he doesn’t let go of your face, seemingly conflicted about whatever is going through his mind. Oh, he looks good like this, like he belongs to the sea and the summer and whatever beautiful scenery he may be surrounded by. He just fits in. He’s like a tanned Apollo peering down at you, if his hands weren’t on you it would be alarmingly easy to think he’s just a figment of your imagination.

The adrenaline rush still hasn’t worn off, perhaps that’s why you crack a smile.

“Anything else you feeling right about?”

The self-discipline Eren has to exercise not to kiss you knocks the wind out of his lungs for a moment. Because what would become of him if he’d let himself yield to a temptation he doesn’t even completely understand yet? It’s just day two of knowing you.

Get a grip.

“I think we’d be good friends” it’s not lying, he tells himself. It’s just telling a partial truth. And he wishes so badly not to notice the disappointment that flashes in your eyes for a second, as you take a wobbly step back and force another smile on your pretty lips.

“Totally, I agree”

Eren clears his throat and runs a hand through his disheveled hair, which he hasn’t tied back like he had in the morning.

“The sun is about to set, I think you’ve trained enough for today. Let’s head back”

“Can’t we stay a little longer?” you peer up at the sky, only then noticing the soft orange hues painting it “just ten minutes. I haven’t been anywhere this quiet in a while”

“Ten minutes” he agrees and straddles his surfboard, hands pressed on the surface in front of him as he looks up as well.

You imitate his position and sit on your board as well, reveling in the gentle way the waves are lulling your body.

Eren thinks you look beautiful like this, eyes shut and facing the setting sun, features relaxed and hair wet. He can easily see himself dating you, someone who has already won his friends over and whose touch he seems unable to stop craving. But what would be the point? He’s all too familiar with what being an islander means. It’s a fluid state of being, his existence nothing more than a fleeting detail in the lives of those who come and, inevitably, go.

Insularity is painfully romanticised and although most times he gets a kick out of the benefits that come with belonging to a place so distant from the mainland, he also realizes the downsides.

You won’t be here when the days will get shorter and tourists will fly back to their dull lives. You won’t witness the way leaves turn a deep shade of crimson and fall from the trees of his beloved cedar forest, you’ll never take part in one of Connie’s notorious christmas parties nor you’ll taste the Kansai-style ozoni Sasha always brings to their new year’s dinner.

And so, Eren will just keep doing what he does best. Remaining nothing more than a fleeting detail in someone else’s summer.

“Thank you for doing this” your voice snaps him back to reality. He cocks his head, confused.

“I didn’t do anything”

You smile with a little, timid shrug.

“You were up early, training group after group and still took the time to indulge me. I can only guess how tired you are, let’s head back”

He’s not tired. He’s so not tired, he would gladly spend the rest of the evening sitting on a surfboard in the middle of the ocean just talking to you, apparently. Perhaps one of his students’ boards collided with his head?

Eren notices your subtle shivering and clicks his tongue on the way back to his car. He carries your surfboard too and secures it on his truck once again, right next to his. He then undoes the tab at the back of your neck, pulls it down and unzips it to help you out of the wetsuit, patiently waiting on the other side of the car while you get out of your wet swimsuit and slip back into the white sundress you had on earlier that day.

“All done!” you walk around the vehicle, eager to climb onto the warm passenger seat once more. But Eren sees the goosebumps blossoming on your arms and another shudder is enough to inch forward to keep the door of his car locked. You turn around to look at him, a questioning look on your face.

“Come to my place” he blurts it out before he has the chance to stop himself. Your brows knit.

“Why?”

“You’re obviously cold and my house is closer” Eren does his best to play off his tension as sense of practicality “just take a shower, warm up and then I’ll drop you off. I swear I’m not gonna try anything, it’s not—”

“Okay” you interrupt his pathetic rambling and he blinks back the surprise.

Oh.

“Okay. Good. Let’s go then” Eren clears his throat and opens the door for you.

It feels a little weird to be honest, but you’re not uncomfortable as he drives back to his place. This is probably the last time you two will hang out anyway, so what’s the harm in accepting a friendly offer, especially when you can’t seem to stop shivering?

“So… what d’you do once summer ends?” the quietness is slightly unsettling, so you take it upon yourself to make some small talk. He glances at you, no panicked reaction elicited this time as he’s driving more carefully.

“My family has been in the fishing industry for decades, I mainly help them out and try to catch whatever job I can handle from home”

“Do you ever travel? Like, to cities”

Eren huffs out a laugh.

“Yes. You think I’m some kind of savage?”

“No!” heat crawls up from your neck to your cheeks “of course not, I didn’t mean—”

“Relax, I’m kidding” he grins “my college was in Osaka. Lived there four years, got my degree, came back”

“Which degree?” still a little flushed, you avoid his amused gaze.

“Mechanical engineering”

“And you’re not offered engineering jobs?” there’s outrage laced into your tone.

Eren just shrugs.

“Yes. But they all require my presence in an office on the mainland”

You don’t say anthing, mainly because you don’t want to risk blurting out another poorly phrased sentence. It would come out all wrong, it would sound as if you’re looking down on him.

Eren senses everything that’s sitting behind your silence and he’s not bothered. His personal life is not really any of your business and although he understands you mean well, yours is an opinion he’s heard way too many times before. It’s a topic not even worth discussing, least of all with someone he’s barely just met.

When you arrive at his place, your hands and feet are ice cold, your hair painfully frizzy. He asks to give him a second and disappears into the bathroom, rattling sounds coming from behind the closed door making you smile as you hop onto the kitchen counter and take a look around. The small living room is messier than it was last night, or maybe you simply didn’t have the time to really look around on your very first entry to the house.

He comes out of the bathroom with a folded drying rack filled with clothes in his arms (I forgot I was drying laundry in there) only to disappear into his bedroom once more, the sound of closets being harshly opened and closed alongside what you can only guess are wardrobe doors slamming against the wall makes you chuckle.

“What are you doing?” amused, you have to shout the question from where you’re sitting.

He comes out of the room with arms full once more and directs you a quick smile before heading back to the bathroom.

“Fixing you towels and something to wear, that dress won’t do!” he shouts too, which makes you giggle.

“Don’t give me your clothes!”

“They’re clean!”

You laugh again, shaking your head.

Eren finally walks into the kitchen, seemingly exhausted, all the way to the counter you’re sitting on.

“Okay, the bathroom is more guest-appropriate now” a small smile tugs at his lips and you notice the wet stains on the front of his black shirt. Has he cleaned it?

“Thanks” you mutter, a sudden, small lump of uneasiness you can’t seem to swallow.

“I’m such an idiot” he snorts “you must be thirsty. Water? I also have orange juice somewhere, or maybe iced tea”

Right as he takes a step to walk past you and towards the fridge, your body moves on its own accord and your fingers instinctively grab the hem of his shirt. Eren stops, surprised gaze flickering from your hand clenched around the fabric of his clothing to your face.

“I’m sorry, Eren” your brows knit in a frustrated frown “I didn’t mean to come across as judgmental, or worse, an elitist asshole”

You exhale, unable to sustain the look in his eyes. “It’s not my place and definitely none of my business. But please know I really didn’t mean—”

“Fuck” he curses under his breath, cutting you off abruptly “you’re making it very fucking hard for me”

Disoriented, you cock your head.

“I’m making what hard?”

Eren plants his palms onto the counter, on either side of your hips, body inching forward. He’s biting the inside of his cheek, forehead dangerously close to be leaned against your own. You can’t resist the urge to gently nudge the tip of his nose with yours, an insignificant gesture that somehow has him sucking a sharp breath in. You’d love to giggle, the teasing question does kindness turn you on? dancing on the tip of your tongue but then his tongue is peeking out to wet his bottom lip a second before he leans forward and traces the soft edge of your neck with the tip of his nose. His mouth follows along somehow, not quite kissing your skin but certainly grazing it, anticipation having your breath quicken.

“You said we should be friends” you whisper, regretting it right away. Eren emits a frustrated huff, breath hot on the neck his parted lips are still gently exploring.

“I said we’d be good friends. And we can be” he places his hands on your thighs, a touch so incandescent the thin fabric of your skirt may as well not be there at all “friends who do this” and just like that he finally closes the gap between you two, capturing your lips in a burning kiss that draws a sigh of relief as you pull him closer. He tastes like the ocean, the strands you have buried your fingers into not as soft as the night before, rendered dry by the salt he still hasn’t washed out.

Eren is an eager kisser, right as his grip on your thighs tightens his tongue is languidly slipping past your parted lips with a satisfied hum vibrating in his chest. Head tilted into yours, he kisses you so hard you think your lips might bruise, he kisses you until you start getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen and he does too, although he wouldn’t mind challenging something as silly as the chance of his organs shutting down if it meant keeping his lips moving against yours and having your hands cradling his face.

You break apart first, a panting, breathless mess when you rest your forehead on the curve of his shoulder. He relaxes the grip on your legs, chest heaving with the depth of his own ragged breaths. So long for self-restraint.

“I meant it” he whispers and you find it in yourself to lift your head and meet his gaze “I didn’t invite you here to—”

“Lure me back into your bed?”

Eren senses the playfulness laced into your tone and smiles.

“Yeah”

When he attempts to take a step back, you wrap your legs around his waist to keep him in place. Except he doesn’t offer any resistance, allowing you to effortlessly pull him closer until he’s flush against the counter and the tip of his nose grazes your cheek.

“I know” you mutter, honest “and I appreciate that. But, if you’re down, I’d really like to take that shower with you”

A beat passes.

Two days of knowing you and Eren thinks you hold all the right tools to drive him absolutely insane already.

PART 2

[midnightmayhem13]

hi! do you think you can do something where maria confesses her feelings after seeing r get flirted with by someone? basically a jealous maria confessing her feelings lol

But I love you more

ofc i can, i love this submission! ty and enjoy🩶

maria hill x reader; bff nat, yucky men, hint of angst?, jealous maria❕fluffy at the end

while maria kept a cold and professional composure around everyone, you were her only exception.

around you, she could be maria, not agent hill or commander of shield. she was soft around you, gental and sweet with you.

you two had gotten close ever since you met. you broke her walls and she fell for you. there was something about you that she let herself fall for you. she wanted to love you. you reciprocated the feelings. and while maria was literally the maria hill one of the best spy and agent in the world, she didn't think you liked her back.

but oh was the feeling incredibly mutual. and you would've told her if you weren't just a little bit intimidated by her. you had to admit, she scared you when you first met. but that's exactly why you fell for her. seeing a woman in power was refreshing.

since maria's feelings of you were getting stronger by the day, she grew protective of you. as if you were hers. you both so desperately wanted that to be true but it unfortunately wasn't the truth yet. but she couldn't help it. when sam or any of the guys would flirt with you she'd send them off claiming it was just a coincidence they were needed whenever nat blamed her for getting jealous.

nat was a close friend to both of you. she knew both of you liked the other and encouraged you two to ask eachother out. she wouldn't pry but she was a big supporter of you two.

and you were an incredibly beautiful women. you could have anyone you wanted and maria was aware of that. there was always eyes on you, compliments and flirtatious remarks constantly came your way. maria was just another of your 'admirers'.

little did hill know that she was the only one that could ever have your heart. you wished she would be the one flirting with you or asking you out. you tried to get over her but soon figured it was impossible. she seemed to avoid you when she saw someone flirted with you. was it something you did? your thoughts got the best of you 'does she think i'm a whore?' you shook the idea from your head deciding to do the best you could and try to talk to her.

she couldn't hold a grudge on you for very long. she easily started talking to you again. she never got mad at you. she was jealous. she thought if she avoided you it would go away, it didn't.

tony decided to host a gala. it was an anniversary for the battle of new york. you attended by force but you enjoyed his shenanigans. maria also attended, only after nat told her you would be there.

you looked absolutely stunning to maria. well to everyone there. but you only ever wondered if maria thought you looked good.

you couldn't take your eyes of maria. she looked so so yummy. (yes, yummy, cobie smulders is yummy)

as expected you got hit on by various people, that weren't maria. a few women came up to maria but she was too busy watching you like a hawk to acknowledge their presence.

you politely rejected them saying you weren't interested. most were understanding but there was one man, of course, that didn't understand no.

maria watched you from the bar she was leaning on.

"you're gonna let him sweet talk your girl, hill?" nat asked with a smirk pouring two shots.

"shut it romanoff" maria exhaled, angrily downing the liquid.

her jaw clenched as she watched you. letting out unconscious groans as she watched the drunk man try to make advances on you. she almost broke the shot glass in her hand when his hand went to your hip. she had enough

"cmon mama, have some fun with me tonight" his voice laced with a think accent. he was okay looking, he wasn't your maria though. he was definitely too pushy for your liking either way.

"i said no. get off of me." you shoved him away, you could easily take him right now. you didn't want to cause attention. but when he tried to grind on you to the music, you were tempted to beat the shit out of him.

"get the fuck off of her"

it was none other than your maria. she pulled him from the collar.

"or what bitch?" he challenged. this couldn't end well. at the blink of an eye maria's fist went to his face. easily breaking his nose.

"get out of my sight." maria said angrily, hoping he'd leave before she lost her patience. of course he left, thank god.

maria turned to you, face and body completely softening by the sight of you. anger turning to adoration and worry. "are you okay? did he hurt you?" she worried holding your face with one hand and your hand in the other.

you pushed her off. "why do you care?" you said walking away to the balcony. okay obviously you were in love with her and she was your knight in shining amour, but she chased everyone one away yet never asked you on a date? you couldn't help but get annoyed.

she followed your quick feet. soon standing with you on the balcony.

"what?" maria was confused. did you genuinely want that thing of a man?

"don't protect me like you want me." you said fighting off tears. if she didn't want you why was she fighting anyone else who did. "don't act like you want me"

confusion and sadness was written all over maria face "what the hell are you talking about?" you're all maria ever dreamed of having.

"you chase everyone who flirts with me away but won't ask me on a date! what the hell do you think i'm talking about!" you were mad. how could she play with you like this.

maria froze. you wanted her to ask you on a date? maria never thought her feelings would be reciprocated. she eventually came back to the present. she had hesitated as you yelled and were now waiting for a response. you went to walk away as she didn't respond.

"i'm in love with you god damn it!" you turned, shocked by what you just heard "wha-" " i scare anyone who wants you because i get jealous alright? because i want you! i want to be the one kissing you and holding you at night and come home to you. i can't stand to see anyone flirting with you because that could be me! i'm jealous i cant call you mine."

now it was your turn to freeze and stare. you thought you were dreaming. maria, wanted you?

"hey i'm sorry it all just came out-" maria was cut off by your lips on hers. your all she ever wanted, and she was all you could ever want.

she immediately wrapped her hands around your waist and kissed you desperately. the kiss became heated as she took over.

when air became a problem, you pulled away. her lips chasing yours. your eyes were still closed, lips parted. you giggled, not believing what just happened. maria did the same letting out a breathy laugh. pulling you closer while squeezing your ass. maybe you two were a little tipsy.

"friday at 7 me and you?" maria asked looking at you lovingly.

"obviously hill" you laughed laying you head on her chest. she was tall, taller than you. she smelled elegant and felt warm. she grounded you and held you close.

the morning after she woke up with you in her arms. you really were a miracle to her. she whispered a hushed 'i love you' before placing kisses all over your neck and face. kissing all the marks she left last night.

her arms around your bare waist. hands once again exploring your body and carefully stroking your breast before giving it a soft squeeze.

"morning angel face" she mumbled into your neck as you stirred awake. you turned around and held her neck kissing her softly and deeply. "good morning my love." you teased smiling. scratching her scalp through her hair softly.

maria melted at the sweet name and gesture. making a cute flustered sound and hiding herself in her neck.

you pulled her away holding her head gingerly. pecking her lips once, twice, then three times. she smiled. not being able to believe how lucky she was

"i love you too"

MARIA HILL POOKIE BAE FOREVER✊ she never die. anyways bye🩶

[hp-fanfic-archive]

Hi this may be niche and non existent but I am looking for wolf star fics where Sirius is hooking up/dating women (maybe Marlene). Remus has to see or hear stuff he doesn’t want to and gets jealous/ pines.

Happy ending w/ endgame wolf star if possible! Also ok if Sirius is hooking up with/dating men but I ask for women cuz it’s harder to find.

Thank you!!

Hi!

I don't have a ton of recs, but I did find a few. Hopefully this is what you're looking for!

Sirius/Marlene:

waited all this time to call you mine by ziahra [T, 121k] (You asked for pining Remus? You got it with this one)

In a world where everyone has a timer on their left wrist that counts down until the day realise they are in love with their soulmate, Remus falls in love with his soulmate 3 years before he reciprocates. Remus knew the timers were set in stone. They were inevitable, and there was nothing he could do to change the timer or speed up the process. And Sirius would return Remus’ feelings, eventually. Oh God. His timer had hit zero. And he had been thinking of Sirius. He was in love with Sirius. “Oh my God! Who was it?” Sirius begins to ask, but Remus can’t hear him. His ears are blocked with water, and his mind is far from the little rink in which they stand. Instead of trying to listen, he looks instead. He looks at Sirius’ wrist, where the numbers stare mockingly back at him. 27, 391 hours.

What I Heard by fishcommuter [E, 28k] (not 100% sure if this is exactly what you're looking for because it's on my to-read list still, but it might be)

Word on the street is Sirius is with Remus, but nobody bothered to tell either of them. Marlene, Sirius's actual girlfriend, thank you very much, is not thrilled. As the fall term settles into their last winter at school, things happen, feelings occur, Sirius and Remus are obviously in love, and the students of Hogwarts prove hard to surprise. Sirius switched on the ringer with his thumb and handed the phone back over. "Leave it on, okay?" "You have a map with my exact whereabouts at your disposal, you know this, yes?" "It can't get you to do things, though." "You can't get me to do things." "I can be very persuasive if you bother to read the messages." "You'd have separation anxiety if I bothered to read the messages." Sirius boffed him on the head. "Already do." He ducked this time.

Mutually Beneficial by clevernotbrilliant [T, 4k] (Does it count if the Sirius/Marlene is fake dating?)

Sirius Black is in love with Remus Lupin. Marlene McKinnon is in love with Emmeline Vance. The obvious solution? Date each other.

jimmy's party by orphan_account [G, 13k] (angst? angst.)

And he’s been expecting this, right? It’s been building for weeks; Remus has known this was coming. Eventually, even Sirius has grown tired of snogging girls in broom cupboards who’s names he takes a few seconds to recall when asked about them. If Marlene’s who he’s chosen, well..good. Marlene’s perfect for him, even Remus can see that. Sirius deserves someone like her. or: Remus isn’t jealous of Sirius and Marlene. On the contrary: he gets it. They look good together. So if they want to dance at the post-quidditch-match party, that’s alright. It’s fine, and Remus’ll demonstrate as such by having some fun of his own. Upcoming full moon be damned.

Reasons Why by silverbook [G, 3k]

Remus likes Marlene McKinnon, he really does. Except he also kinda hates her.

Now I Wanna Be Your Dog by pixelated [E, 20k] (this has Sirius/Marlene and also Remus/OC before the wolfstar endgame. They're both pining.)

Sirius clunks about in his Doc Martens and listens to The Stooges and smokes cigarettes and wears his hair much too long and spends more time serving detention than not. And is way too forward about his sudden feelings for Remus. (A story about teenagers and summer love in the 70s.)

The Boys of Summer by todaslasmadrugadas [T, 73k] (The Sirius/Marlene in this is rather short lived, but Remus is pining and it's a slow burn so... close enough?)

The Summer of 1978 was supposed to be the same as the previous one. And the one before that. Because, in the provincial village of Fenneltown, where 16-year-old Remus Lupin lives, nothing ever changes. Not really. Until this year, everything does.

Hey, Jealousy by BrianJustin4Ever [T, 1k]

Remus contends with his jealousy.

Sirius/OFC:

Jealousy, Jealousy by AshParadox [T, 924]

Remus has trouble focusing on what Lily is saying at the moment. His eyes are fixed on Sirius, who is in the middle of the room, dancing with some Hufflepuff girl. Remus feels a burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. “You should make him jealous.”

Drunken Mistakes (It Was Never A Mistake) by artemis143 [T, 3k]

It was Sirius Black's 16th birthday party and James Potter suggests that they play truth or dare

The Date by rhye [G, 422] (it's short but oh so ouchie)

Sirius has a date with a pureblood his mother wants him to marry. But he's also dating Remus. Remus watches him prepare for his date.

Honorable Mention (because it doesn't have pining Remus. It is, in fact, fake dating blackinnon from Marlene's POV. Wolfstar does get together though :) and the fic is good!) :

passionfruit by poppunkpadfoot [M, 4k]

“How would you feel about a free trip to France this summer?” “That depends. What’s the catch?” “It’s a trip with my family,” Marlene says. She can’t quite bring herself to look Sirius in the eye as she continues, “I’d be introducing you as my boyfriend.”

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

silly love confessions: i keep falling in love with older men. except its not even romantic strictly i just become so attached and adoring towards dudes 10+ years older than me..its like romantic and physical adoration + big brother + idol worship............. to me its fine and i'm accepting it and in my mind love is good so its something to be happy about but honestly this situation kind of ruined one of my closest relationships because i made him uncomfortable i guess. I dont know, having a crush often feels creepy i suppose. but I wish there were more accepted ways to love someone to the extent i love people besides romantic love. I don't really want to date anyone I just want to communicate my adoration and affection and have it be reciprocated without there being the issues of whether you can be in a monogamous relationship or not......idk kind of rambling here but i feel like you are one of few people who could understand when i say i feel like my love is religious. and it keeps being tainted by the expectations of modern society. anyway happy valentines day !!!!! love u!!!!!

lolol...me as hell in my early 20s!! everyone i dated was in their 30s, men and women. i have always acted like an elderly person lmao so at the time it was impossible to find anyone my own age i cld relate to. Also probably some subconscious thing to do w my orphan's nature, having no adult guidance for the latter half of my childhood lol..

Also i totally understand wat u mean by wishing love wasnt so "regulated" by certain standards. A huge turning point for me around age 25 was realizing i want to love my friends & family & even strangers as unconditionally as possible even though its bound to get me hurt. i wanted to finally allow myself to b open to people & embrace them without judgement. my life has rly unfolded since that time 5/6 yrs ago & even tho it's been a bumpy ride, it has eventually lead me to the ppl who fully reciprocate this attitude, platonically or otherwise.

So dont be afraid to let your open heart lead the way, it's a rare treasure. One person's sincere unconditional love can be the catalyst for so much positive transformation & healing in the lives of others who feel lost & alone. thankyou for your confession & happy Vday to you too anon <333

[prettyisasprettydoes1306]

                   THE PLAYER'S CLUB

TEN COMMANDMENTS

1. Watch out for women who prefer to be on top majority of the time.

2. Never give a woman the keys to your place.

3. A woman can't use you if you use her FIRST.

4.Stay away from women who ask what you do work. (GOLD DIGGIN ASS HOES!)

5. DO NO COMMIT, no matter how good the sex is.

6. Stay clear of women who don't reciprocate after you give them head. ( First Come Last Served Disease )

7. Avoid intimate and personal conversations. ( Past Relationships, Emotions ,Family background etc..)

8. Before you get carried away with a women make sure she knows that NO FEELINGS WILL BE INVOLVED whatsoever!

9. We never " make love," it's always casual sex.

10. Always! ALWAYS! WRAP IT UP!

Andre " Dre "Carter

Micah Jones

Corey King

Tremani " Trey" Lucas

Chapter One

" How you doing everybody! We are back at it again today with one of our most anticipated podcasts! My name is Big Mike and to my left of me we have the beautiful Sasha Day and on my right we have my guy Tommy G. First off if you are new to our podcast let me say Welcome to Toxic Talk. Exclusively for the mature and toxic minds only! Yesterday's guest has had you men and women blowing up our Instagram DM's with questions for us and today's guest!" Big Mike said as he sat over the mic opening up the show.

" Now just to catch you up to speed we had our female guest Avery come in and chat with us for a bit here about the sistas protecting themselves out here in the dating and relationship world and it uh got a little heated. Even I had to say she had me really looking at us like damn y'all are we that bad?!"

" YES!" Sasha said laughing.

"  Before we get started I'm gonna go to the Quick Call List so you can speak on your thoughts a little bit more about yesterday's conversation."

He leaned back in the chair rubbing his chin. " Thank you for holding Mase. What were your thoughts about yesterday's conversation?"

" I think women are taking it hard for nothing. Men are men and are always gonna be MEN! They can't expect us to always be perfect. Not all men who have cheated on their girls are playa's. Good men stray, bad men stray. Doesn't mean were all fucked up!" Sasha sat back rolling her eyes hearing the mans opinion.

" Whew we choosing violence this good ole Friday, huh Mase?" He laughed.

" So tell me where do you fall in that category?"

"A man who takes advantage of sexual opportunity's that's too good to pass up."

" I mean you could put it that way. But I highly doubt any women would see it that way. Thanks for the call man." He exited out the call and moving on right to the next.

" Alright Charlie, what you thinking man?"

" Uh it definitely gave me a lot to think about and I definitely think she made some points."

" Hmph ok, like?"

"It's all about what you want out your situation. I don't want my woman seeing any other man and I'm more than positive she wouldn't want me seeing another woman. The factor is exclusiveness. I'm hers and she's mine. Nowadays it seems like nobody really wants to be committed for real just want the perks of a relationship but also the freedom to do what they want too."

" THANK YOU! A man with some damn sense!" Sasha chimed in.

" You definitely saying alot there my brotha and I definitely agree with you about the things that you said. Thanks for the call man!"

" Now that we are all caught up to speed today's guest has just arrived." He said giving giving him an introduction. Taking a seat in the open chair next to Sasha. He was someone she was extremely thought of as a MAN. He was too good looking. She crossed her legs just at the sight of his plump limps envisioning them across her body.

She heard that he was just as arrogant as he was good looking. He was a one time divorcé and had a reputation for switching woman like how he switched clothes. He was truly the last of a dying breed. A lot of his opinions came from too many years of experience.

Trying to control her stares at him to keep them at a minimum so she wouldn't look thirsty she occupied herself in her phone.

Now she could fully see how women fell so easy for him regardless of the filth that came out of his mouth. This was a man who used his own experiences to always tell fellows dudes how it was nothing wrong with being a player and accepting it for what it is. Teaching them all how to avoid unwanted commitments.

" Welcome to the show, Dre." Sasha spoke swiftly into the mic.

Dre flashed his billion dollar smile. " Thank y'all for having me."

" How you doing today my brother?" Big Mike asked as the two dapped each other up.

" I'm good man. I'm good. I can't complain at all. Thanks for having me." Dre said as he took a sip from his Essentia water bottle.

"Alright so let's get into to it!"

Chapter 2 is here

@novaniskye @thegifstories @miyuhpapayuh @cecereads209

[angst-king]

Fall from Grace Chp4

(Back to Charlie's POV. CW this will contain descriptions of SA, Coersion, light S/H from panic, internalize homophobia, and purity culture)

Charlie hated her boyfriend Excalibar, there were many things she’d rather be doing than spend time with him. The only thing she liked about him was he knew how to battle, and he was a fun challenge when it came to it. Romantically he was awful, boring, annoying, always trying to beg for her attention like a puppy. Charlie didn’t hate men, she could date a man, she could find them attractive, and sure Excalibur was attractive but she wasn’t interested in him. He also sucked at his grooming habits.

Vaggie on the other hand, was perfect. She listened to her, knew her favorite snacks, could always count on her to show up at a moment's notice, had an amazing ass singing voice, and damn was she good in bed! But she couldn’t date her, no way, gross. She didn’t like women, and Vaggie was just a placeholder until Charlie could find someone better.

“Charlotte are you even listening to me?” Charlie jolted from her deep train of thought and looked over at the angel across from her.

“Yeah yeah, sorry.” Excalibur frowned and pouted at her and whined about how she wasn’t paying attention. Damn, he’s such a crybaby! She sat through him going through a temper tantrum whining and crying about how she didn’t love him, and how he wished she’d pay more attention than he brought up Vaggie.

“I better if I were your stupid lil soldier girl you’d pay attention.” “What do you mean by that?” Excalibur folded his arms over his chest and the wings from in front of his face opened.

“You know what I mean, You’d rather be with that psycho exorcist than me. You’d listen to every word she says.” “That’s not true, she’s just my guard and she knows her place.” Charlie sneered annoyedly, did he know she and Vaggie are fucking? She made sure to be careful about it. They were never loud and kept things pretty down low.

“I bet you’re banging her, why don’t you just marry her?” Scrunching her face up in disgust, pushed back.

“I’m not a fucking lesbian, Excalibar, why the hell would I fuck her? Maybe if you knew where my clit was, I’d have less to fault you for.”

“Because obviously according to you I’m not doing it well enough for you, so you’d find someone else.” “So you’d think I’d get with some chick?” “I don’t see you with any other man” Then Charlie had an idea, she wanted this conversation to be done, even the thought of having any attraction to Vaggie made her feel weird and uncomfortable. Maybe she should turn on the sweet princess act? Putting her hands behind her back as she looked up at the man before her feigning innocence.

“Excali, baby please you know I would never cheat on you, especially with someone so deranged. Sure you may not be the best at it in bed but. I do love you, and I’m sorry that I don’t show it.” Her voice softened and let herself feel smaller in front of him. Excalibur cracked a sweet forgiving smile and cupped her face with his hands.

“I love you too Charlotte, I love you a lot.” He pulled her into a kiss, she expected it to be quick but this one was deep, and she could feel him press his body to hers. He kept her close, one hand pressed to the small of her back as he kissed her passionately. Charlotte didn’t reciprocate with the same energy wondering what he was doing. Then he suddenly moved from kissing her lips down to her neck and nipped at the flesh. Charlie yelped and tried to create some distance, putting her hands on his chest.

“Ex-Excalibur what are you doing?” His tongue glided against her neck before delivering another bite.

“I’m proving to you that I can do better.” Alarm bells rang loudly in her head and she tried harder to push Excalibur off. Yet the man wouldn’t budge, no amount of pushing or fighting would move him. By now he had her on the bed, slipping off her dress and continuing to leave marks down her body. The once puppy of a man was now a wolf wanting to devour the prey beneath him. He treated her like the wolf he was. Clawing, biting, leaving marks wherever he could desperate to make it known that she was his. Charlie tried kicking him off but that only seemed to egg him on. By the time he had slipped his dick inside her, she knew he wouldn’t stop no matter how hard she tried. Slowly but surely she gave up in hopes he wouldn’t take all night. Much to her misfortune, he did. He took his time even in his animalistic frenzy, he went on for hours. Each round his thrusts grew harsher, he treated her body like a doll doing exactly what he wanted. Her tears didn’t stop him, her clawing at him did not deter him, and her pleas or yells did not end what he did.

He only stopped when he had enough, he spent the night in their bed keeping his extremities wrapped around her until morning. She hardly slept that night as she was still coming to grips with what her courting partner had done to her. With his hands remaining around her, any sudden movement made her tense up. She could feel herself losing composure but it wasn’t enough, she would allow herself to lose control, not with him around, not until she could be alone. When the sun arose and Excalibur had woken up he sweetly smiled and asked how she had slept as if what had happened the night before was all a dream. Which was what Charlie chose to convince herself of, it was all a horrible dream, he would never do that to her. He was an idiot, he wasn’t a rapist.

“I-I slept alright” She lied, Excalibur tried to pull her into a kiss but she held him away out of reflex. He looked confused at her, his bright golden eyes turned back into their puppy innocent-like state as he asked what was wrong. Charlie pulled herself under the covers while coming up with another lie.

“I-I just don’t feel good, I might go back to sleep.” “Aw that sucks, you want me to stay here?” She shook her head and found the perfect excuse.

“You have work and I can’t ask you to miss it for me, I will be fine.” “Alright, I’ll see you around my princess.” He left after changing into his day clothes leaving Charlie to finally break. She rushed into the bathroom and turned on the shower putting it on hot. She didn’t know how long she had been in there but she kept scrubbing and washing her skin even when the markings were cleaned and the dried fluids were gone. She wanted his touch off of her body. This was a horrible dream, and all of it was just some horrible dream! Nothing more! She just had to get it out of her get. Get his touch off her body, and forget!

No no no no! Shit, she was losing it, no no no! Her body trembled and sank to the floor of the shower. Pulling her knees to her chest while holding herself her body changed. Her teeth grew sharper as did her nails while they turned black. Her eyes changed from blue to red, red horns sprouted from her head, and an arrow-tipped demon tail whipped around warily.

She knew she was losing control but at least she was alone. No one would see her like this, no one would see her hyperventilating and sobbing on the floor. No one would see a filthy demon instead of the fearless and sweet princess of heaven. No one was there….

“Charlie, is everything okay?” Vaggie’s voice was closed just right outside that door! Shit no no no, stay there, you can’t come in!

“I-I’m fine Vaggie!” Charlie winced at the sound of her voice sounding shaky and strained. She sounded weak, and that made her feel sick. She hated feeling weak or powerless. It was the one thing she couldn’t stand to feel, she already felt disgusting.

“I’m coming in” “NO! No! Please don’t!” Charlie begged as she tried to shift back into her angel form. She tried to grab a towel to cover up, her heart pounding at the sound of the knob jimmying. Her mind was in shambles and overwhelmed, the tears wouldn’t stop, and she couldn’t keep from shaking. Then the door opened and Vaggie’s eyes went wide. Of course, she had seen Charlie naked before but she had never seen her demon form. It was something Charlie had done her best to keep a secret from almost everyone, the only ones who knew were her parents and Micheal. Micheal had been the one to emphasize keeping this secret, that it made her defective and impure, and no one would want to be with her!

“GET OUT!” Charlie screamed, but Vaggie was frozen staring at the princess’s demonic features. The shock had completely taken over her body, making the knightly exorcist unmoving as Charlie cried. Covering up with a towel didn’t hide much besides the claw marks and hickeys Excalibur had left. Charlie shrunk into the corner of the shower as she begged Vaggie to leave.

“GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT PLEASE GET OUT!” She demanded while her tail wrapped around her. Her nervous system shut down only reacting out of fear and stress. Her nails began to press harshly into her skin to the point blood started to drip down. Dragging them down only cut deeper drawing more of the golden liquid. Seeing this Vaggie finally snapped out of her stupor and reached to her.

“It's okay Charlie, it's okay. I’m here.” But Charlie wouldn’t let her, her voice hoarse from screaming didn’t stop her from commanding Vaggie to leave until it was almost gone. Squirming and scurrying away, pulling the towel over her like a child hiding under a blanket.

“Please leave, You shouldn’t see me like this, please, I-I can’t, I ca-can’t.” Vaggie knew Charlie wouldn’t be happy until she left but she couldn’t leave her in here like this. So pushing her way in she lifted the transformed demon girl whose wails and cries were muffled into her chest and carried her to her bedroom. Pulling out a night dress for her she set it out on the bedside and got out bandages. Charlie had gone quiet while Vaggie went around the room gathering supplies. Whimpering and holding her knees to her chest, Vaggie hated to see her princess in such distress. She made quick work of bandaging her wounds and making sure she got dressed till she left her. Once again Charlie was alone, left alone with her thoughts. She was buried under the sheets, pretending to sleep as she forced herself to calm down.

Charlie had skipped many things that day, barely moving from her spot in bed. Thankfully no one had come to bother her much, that was until there was a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” “It's your lovely uncle, Charlie~” She swallowed nervously and emerged from her hiding spot to open the door. On the other side was Micheal who wore a warm smile, sometimes it was so haunting how similar Micheal and Samael looked. They both had the same bright red rosie cheeks, pale skin, bright blue eyes, and blond hair. Micheals was just a little longer, his halo crown was silver, not gold, and his facial shape was more angular. Micheal was also taller, but that still didn’t negate their similarities. Micheal had raised her ever since her parents had left and by now she assumed they were dead due to their lack of communication.

“Oh Charlotte dear you look terrible, I heard from Vaggie that you were shaking and distressed. “ Wincing at the sound of her full name, Charlie fiddled sheepishly with her dress. By now she had been able to change into her angel form, ridding her of the demonic features and energy.

“I-it nothing un-uncle Micheal, I-I’m fine now.” She says combing her fingers through tangled hair, Micheal wasn’t buying it and had her sit down on the bed.

“Please my darling niece, no need to hide from me, I’ve practically raised you as my own, and I’m sure I’ve taught you better than that.” He picked up a hairbrush from her dresser and started gingerly brushing her hair. Charlie didn’t protest, sitting quietly as he worked.

“Did you do this?” He asked trailing his fingers along her bandaged biceps. Charlie nodded solemnly, Micheal went back to brushing her hair.

“She knows, doesn’t she? She saw you, right?” With another nod, Micheal’s energy then morphed into something sinister.

“This may be good for you, maybe then she’ll back off. She’s always so close to you, and I know she’s your guard and right-hand woman but, it's too much for a person of your status. You two are not on the same level and she should know her place. You are supposed to be a symbol of purity and we can’t have frivolous creations tainting you or outing that secret of yours.” “i-I guess, I-I mean she helped me wh-when she found me.”

“Charlotte, dear, she was doing her job. All she cares about is getting demon blood on her hands and not that I’m against going down there and obliterating any disgusting cretin I see. But she’s not stable, creations are unstable. She is nothing more than a drone who follows orders. Nothing. More. You are our lovely sweet, heavenly princess and we can’t have any stains on your pristine records.” Charlie once again nodded, not saying a word

Micheal’s wings wrapped around Charlie’s pulling her close while his arms were loose letting his hands travel around her body.

“Royalty does not mix with low ranks, and a fine princess like yourself already has a lovely courting partner who was perfectly made for you to rule with. You are above these people. You are the best, you are the first.”

[ginevrafangirl]

Love Between Fairy And Devil Commentary Part 3

The final one! Excerpts from my reactions while watching episodes 25-36! Apologies for the delay

Part 1 | Part 2

SPOILERS ahead!

when did shangque fall in love with her anyway i feel like it snuck up on me. like it was obvious it was going to happen, but the how happened subtly

the grooms need to get DRESSED

it would be hilarious if girlie and sauron get together now and kiss and people see and incest rumors cause the weddings to fall apart

wow sauron looks SO weird with his hair up

a red wedding is about to happen // its snowing as well for maximum effect

he cannot control hellfire well anymore he really should not be doing this

i love that him being 'injured' means he got eyeliner and dark lipstick

she didnt fail the tribulation besties she is fine

FINALLY we get a badass moment from girlie

wdym 'why cant i control hellfire' its obviously cause you have emotions again

have i mentioned how much i hate jin guangshan

did she just feed him her blood to heal? what in the svsss?

girlie's 'i want to jump into the river' after getting caught locking lips was so cute

also why is everyone acting like they dont know why sauron cant use hellfire // i mean he was against her restoring his emotions for this very reason??

god i knew they were gonna be disgustingly cute

i think jieli was prettier in the mortal clothes but girlie is definitely more gorgeous in her immortal robes

i really appreciate the little comedic moments scattered through this show

omg this is beautiful // the women singing together for the return of their men // very avatar like

DAMN that was an eventful two episodes // the wedding happened, batman appeared, everything went to plan, batmans identity was revealed, girlie and sauron finally kinda got together, danyin and ice man came back and girlie's true identity was also revealed

its so crazy that they are saying they need to settle the score as if sauron hasnt regularly whooped jack frost's ass completely

girlie you were happy as a mortal cause you were rich

omg she is literally 'i see you as a nice friend'-ing him rn. i didn't expect this level of self awareness

sauron feeling proud of dragon boy for scoring a date

sorry dragon boy jieli is a businessminded woman

i feel like a matchmaking auntie watching these cuties together

oh good batman backstory // he literally has no parents. but he is also blind like a bat. and uses sound - the flute. // i am a genius

HAN PU!????????? baby batman is HAN PU (who rules the world reference)

also batman is literally luo binghe (svsss reference)

good for jin guangshan and jack frost's mom for running away and escaping this madness

frostie is suicidal. cue the beat boxing song

YES GO FULL HIPPIE ICEY BOY

that man did NOT swallow

DANYIN? danyin is the baby??? then why does the pregnant lady look like jieli???

i am 99% convinced fake old god is gonna die

this is a very random last minute storyline/backstory that i did seriously not see coming

has jieli been a plant by catwoman and batman this whole time?? thats why she cant reciprocate dragon's feelings?

shangque stop saying you'll forgive her manipulating you

damn the whole city gathered to stop him from getting laid

he wants to mawwy herrr

this is why dating villains is fun, they truly dont give a fuck about right or wrong, just you. great romance

he didnt go to hang locks! does he need to get the spike in him right NOW?

that punishment is so awful sauron become 3D in a 2D show

there is lightning! are they gonna kiss kiss body swap again?

why dont they just tell emo boy girlie isnt a fairy, she is the goddess of xishun

this conflict is seriously so unneccessary, she is a GODDESS

the people on twitter were right, this does get only better as you keep watching

thats not a cave, thats a torture chamber

and he decided to share her pain // ofcourse he did

thats a long ass wig

i thought he was gonna carry her but them walking hand in hand is so much better

ice man and jin guangshan's fathers name is lord DONG that is amazing

wowwwwww danyin just confessed her love in front of EVERYONE // balls // she has got balls

girlie's true identity was the fix-it of everything huh

dragon boy is brave to the point of stupid giving jieli all his money // omg is she finally accepting him // i wonder what they will get up to in his dragon form

now wtf is happening here

plot is now aiming at killing girlie i see

i dont see how he didnt see the loss of hellfire coming from miles away after he got his emotions back, i mean wasnt he so opposed to it for this very reason??

i cant believe they hurt my babygirl dragon boy

the phrase "menacing fairies" is quite funny

sauron just wants to live in domestic bliss but the plot wants WAR

i love the meek obedient expression sauron gets on his face around girlie

he is too smart to work with an obviously evil swirling dark cloud // right?

mr sauron i thought you werent gonna lie to her

she has gotten good at setting boundaries

is he possesed rn or just what is happening

i hope the war lives up to the hype, unlike who rules the world // i mean we have been talking about it for literally 30 episodes

the crazy thing is that if he had been straight up with her and told her why she has to die she would have killed herself easily

jieli is fucking smart

I GET IT NOW // he cant take off the bone orchid cause she is devoted to him, so he has break her heart so he can take it off

oooo is it time for ✨war✨

for two opposing armies the fairy realm and demon realm sure have the exact same armour

i think even if she tries to kill herself she wont die cause of special goddess powers

ooooo i think he will use the evil qi and then girlie will purify it

wow her screams of pain are quite intense

honestly i am sick of lady war just having no agency in this story // like lets have her come back to life and tell off batman please

ohhh its the long awaited batman vs iceman fight

they sure picked a place with terrible visibility for this war huh

who tf is qingchuan???

after all this time iceman just now found out batman is ronghao?

love how lady si ming still hasnt shown up again // though i do still believe she will

i knew it!! her magic dust brought everyone back to life

that god(dess) for better visibility amirite

wait are they still pretending she isnt gonna live

sauron doesnt have enough sand on his face, he face planted multiple times. i need him to be coughing up sand

oh wow she is actually disintigrating thanos snap style

why is jieli not just telling dragon boy the truth that she was poisoned? is it cause she knows catwoman is gonna come after her and she doesnt want him to get hurt?

and now batmans all happy and shit?? rude

omg stop manipulating lady war i am sick and tired of her agency being taken away

awwww this is a very cute sequence if not for the fact that he is definitely dreaming

wow watching sauron smile with all his teeth is weirddd

so i guess the remaining 5 eps will be him trying to get girlie back

if dragon boi dies i am gonna riot

oh its a dream sharing incense burner!

woooooow hot take from ice man there 'she will come back from death cause she hasnt married me yet'

i love the juxtaposition of the chaos irl and the serenity in his dream

i am really confused about the girlie marrying iceman prophecy because there is no way thats gonna happen right? unless she has some serious memory loss or something

i am so confused about ronghao's feeling towards lady war

jin guangshan is a fucking bitch

hah i knew lady si ming was gonna turn up

what a power couple though lady si ming and her dragon living together forever

popping back in to say i was right about the memory loss (i stopped in the last few eps cause i was tired lol)

i hate memory loss tropes btw // her memories better come back

did lady war just off danyin?? // misdirect

after i was done i had some last words to say

the ending wasnt bad exactly, plot wise, but i missed the light hearted tone of the show in the last six episodes and also why do we get more fluff in the middle than at the end??

all i wanted was to see them getting married and sitting on the moon throne as king and queen

and not a single jielie/shangque kiss?? we were ROBBED

And that's it folks!! Overall a very fun and enjoyable experience, would recommend!

[bari-the-witch]

Another little snippet from my Steve has powers!AU.

I'm trying to be daring and make Steve have a semi-good relationship with one of his parents for once. :O

------

Even though they didn’t see each other last week, they spoke over the phone every night, telling each other about their day or simply exchanging whispered sweet nothings. Steve is so in love that he expects to burst into a million technicolor sparks every second now, a feeling that only amped up after he found out Eddie reciprocates his feelings. He can’t wait to pull him back into his arms and kiss him senselessly until both their lips fall off with a movie playing in the background they are only half-watching.

The feeling of giddiness and anticipation crashes and burns when Steve pulls his car into the driveway noticing not only Eddie’s van but his mother’s car parked alongside it. He nearly crashes into the mailbox because he can’t take his eyes off it.

What the hell is his mother doing here? Well ok, she’s living here of course, but she wasn’t due until next month or so she said. And where the hell is his father? Did they not come back together? Steve lets his gaze wander over the driveway but no matter how often he looks, there’s only his mother’s car and Eddie’s van.

Steve cuts the engine and parks behind them, making his way over to the front door, not really sure what to make of her sudden arrival. Did something happen? Was she ok? Why didn’t she call in advance? What will she say about Eddie being alone in their house? Oh god, what if she called the police, and the next time he sees his boyfriend is in shackles and an orange overall?

With shaking hands because of the prospect of Eddie meeting his mother and ending up in jail because of it, Steve is finally able to slot the key into the lock, pushing the door open and being greeted by - wait, is that laughter?

He hears it again. Yeah, it definitely is.

And then he can hear Eddie’s voice and his mother laugh again. Well, that doen't sound like someone who is this close to calling the police because of a stranger with past murder charges.

“Oh Eddie, really?” Steve’s mom asks in delight and he wouldn’t be surprised if he finds his mother twirling a lock of hair around her finger when he enters the kitchen now.

“Absolutely Mrs. Harrington, you should have seen Stevie’s face.”

“Please, I said to call me Joan.”

Ok, what the fuck? Did he step into an alternative dimension or is this really happening right now? Oh god, maybe he hit his head harder against the counter than he thought while getting up from the floor at work. And tomorrow Robin will find him, still lying there unconscious, because there’s no way in hell Eddie and his mother are sitting in the kitchen, swapping stories about god knows what, laughing with each other like old pals.

Without taking off his jacket or shoes, Steve rushes into the kitchen and indeed, his mother and Eddie are sitting at the kitchen island, each of them having a drink in front of them in peaceful unison.

Steve was never weirded out more in his life.

Not even when he first noticed that he likes men the same as women. Or when he first came into contact with the Upside Down. Hell, not even when he found out about his powers after getting slashed open by a tentacle freak with major skin problems. But Eddie sitting there with his mother, smile all charming and wide while he has a mug of coffee clutched between his hands, laughing happily alongside her?

Weirdest shit ever.

[dabacahin]

David Whyte: “Unrequited”

[This is the full text of David Whyte’s essay from Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words (Canongate Books, 2014).]

UNREQUITED

love is the love human beings experience most of the time. The very need to be fully requited may be to turn from the possibilities of love itself. Men and women have always had difficulty with the way a love returned hardly ever resembles a love given, but unrequited love may be the form that love mostly takes; for what affection is ever returned over time in the same measure or quality with which it is given? Every man or woman loves differently and uniquely, and each of us holds different dreams and hopes and falls in love or is the object of love at a very specific threshold in a very particular life where very, very particular qualities are needed for the next few years of our existence. What other human being could ever love us as we need to be loved? And whom could we know so well and so intimately through all the twists and turns of a given life that we could show them exactly the continuous and appropriate form of affection they need?

Requited love may happen, but it is a beautiful temporary, a seasonal blessing, the aligning of stars not too often in the same quarter of the heavens, an astonishing blessing. But it is a harvest coming only once every long cycle, and a burden to the mind and the imagination when we set that dynamic as the state to which we must always return in order to feel ourselves in a true, consistent, loving relationship.

Whether our affections are caught in romantic love, trying to see our neighbours as ourselves, or trying to love a great but distant God, our love rarely seems to be returned in the mode that it is given. That gift is returned in ways that, to begin with, we rarely recognise. Human beings live in disappointment and a self-appointed imprisonment when they refuse to love unless they are loved the selfsame way in return. It is the burden of marriage, the difficult invitation at the heart of parenting and the central difficulty in our relationship with any imagined, living future. The great discipline seems to be to give up wanting to control the manner in which we are requited, and to forgo the natural disappointment that flows from expecting an exact and measured reciprocation, from a partner, from a child, from our hopes for a loving God.

We seem to have been born into a world where love, except for brilliant, exceptional moments, seems to exist from one side only, ours, and that may be the difficulty and the revelation and the gift – to see love as the ultimate in giving and letting go – and through the doorway of that affection make the most difficult sacrifice of all, giving away the very thing we want to hold forever.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Honestly, I hate that he is hooking up with random young women. I don’t think that is the norm and „every guy does that“. I still believe that there are man that need to be in love to have sex. I tried „friends with benefits“ once and it was awful. And even if I was attracted to a random guy, my boundaries would not have allowed me to have sex with him. It just feels awful. So, I don’t have much respect for men doing that… I think they have bonding problems. So I guess in this case, that Haley girl will be just one in a row of heartbroken women because they fell in love with the guy. That whole situation has the potential now to make me leave the fandom. Immature men are a big turnoff and he seems like it.

everything you just said is based upon your own personal experience. you tried casual sex, you hated it, and decided that you feel sex should only happen between you and a person who you love, and who loves you. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

where you are wrong, is in expecting other people to fall in line with your own personal preferences and belief system. there is no reason you should lose respect because two consenting adults decided to have sex, and maybe nothing more. haley is almost 30 years old, so while she is younger than evan, she's not a kid.

you referenced haley being just one in a row of heartbroken women, insinuating that she must have some deep, emotional attachment that evan just doesn't reciprocate. once again, you're projecting your own feelings, emotions and insecurities onto the situation. it's true; men and women generally do have different experiences when it comes to attachment and sex. but plenty of women like no strings attached boinking. i'm not saying evan's dick isn't powerful, but why would you assume haley is already dreaming of a future with the man after one night of sex?

[adiue-amore]

Vampire Empire and the struggle of stardom in a small town

I've just listened to 'Vampire Empire (live)' 4x times in a row, it's brought about the recurring vision of being on a stage and being so full emotion of stealing the song that they (all) can't help but fall in love with you immediately. I happen to imagine a t-shirt I wore recently, with my denim mini, and rocker, knee high, electric blue platform boots. I've been experiencing a weird mix of grief and confidence lately, for one the confidence is in the face of acting above rumours - I think I've grown to know it's always best to be rude directly to someone's face if required, if only to make certain of your own character in a way, you stand by what you said, otherwise face utter humiliation. The best way, of course, to avoid such a thing is end the problem as it was created, call them a fucking coward, and be done with the matter. I saw a post about Bugs Bunny never starting a problem but always finishing them; I've always admired His vivacity so can see this as a true rule to follow. I'd also recommend taking notice of divine intervention during the matter, narrowly, but always just missing the person you pity in public spaces and having narrow minded, freaks of nature defend them to you - always gives the most horrendous feelings of embarrassment on behalf. I feel like to combine those will just bring about the general realisation that to drag yourself down to their depths will revert back to a phase of consciousness that simply will not benefit you in any way. Instead, turn to a drunk curse that simply breaks it all away and at last you should reach social peace - and lost gold. I think the blue eyeshadow can cause deliriousness incredibly easily. It's a very invincible accessory to have, if only because it reminds you of all the old women who have painted it on before, and survived. I've also been rather into medieval head pieces, I expect long hair a bejewelled netting to make its way into my wardrobe astonishingly soon, I don't like to think any luck I have is not a blessing from beyond the grave (it's good to have faith in the unnatural). I find I've veered myself off topic from the start of this one, I think I can't stand to imagine what I'll be like if I ever do catch the attention of the fancy, It's as if I still haven't dragged myself up from the ever-circling hell of needing to be looked at and liked. I know I wear confidence well, I have no reason not to, with how I was raised, but there's always the fear I'll crack when faced with them again, it seems I have every other time, just that desperate need to know if it was ever reciprocated (I have a slippery memory of him saying he did in college, I laugh back and agree "me too", Christ I'd take that back from him if I could, the only men I'll admit to loving is those who can love me publicly, with all that they are, without fear of themselves in their little minds. I've never got the point of it otherwise, even in mutual chase and longing there's an admittance of a certain degree of love, I don't believe you can lie to yourself and exist as whole without it. I think I'll leave that here for now, I wouldn't want to reveal too much (get me drunk and I'll smile and laugh and squeeze your arm to stop myself from toppling as I tell you a joke, it's uncanny).

[gleefullypolin]

Oh yes, I think he put time into cultivating that relationship with her even if he didn't realize how he was doing it at the time. I think he enjoys her attention and truly likes her for who she is but hasn't either developed or has ignored any romantic feelings for her simply because it's easier than dealing with something that could become messy.

I think Penelope even calls him out in the book for just running away whenever he gets frustrated and he finally has to deal with that. Along with his jealousy of her accomplishments in the book, even if no one knows about them, she's a grown woman doing big girl things and taking care of business while he's still escaping his life though he's years older than her. I always liked how the book held Penelope like a mirror (ha!) to Colin as a reminder to him that he is both more privileged and more respected than she is and she still does what she thinks is right and holds strong to her feelings and deals with them in a way he has never even tried or, honestly, been expected to do.

Debling! I am very ambivalent about him to be honest. I was thinking about him and I had reread the book a while ago and remembered that Colin has a lot of internal thoughts about how he doesn't get how no one sees what he does and, at one point, gets jealous over a fake man he thinks she might have seen, etc. so in a medium like TV, it might very well be important that this become something tangible that the audience sees a progression of. Especially the dream, the majority of the general audience is going to need to be hand held into Colin's changing feelings and, of course, it's just fun to look at.

There's always a juxtaposition in the way the show treats the leading men with other women vs the one they're in love with and I feel like this Penelope/Debling thing could be the closest we get to an equal reciprocation of that sort of behavior with one of the women due to the restrictions women were held to back then.

Oh yes, I think they have both been on different types of pedestals for each other and they both needed to fall right off of them if these two as adults were ever going to have a chance of making this whole thing work. I will swoon right along with you!

Ooh my dearest anon this has been the most beautiful form of Bridgerton therapy that I didn’t even know I needed.

You’re right, he was growing their relationship all along, the glances her way, finding her along the edges of the dance floor, writing her letters when he wasn’t courting her to share his experiences with her of his travels. The way she made him feel about himself, seeing himself through her eyes. Their relationship was a seed that grew through small droplets of water little by little until it sprouts into a garden of desire that he can no longer ignore, invading even his wildest dreams.

I love that they are both writers, being a writer myself, I think that that is perhaps what has always drawn me to them as a couple. Writing and writers tend to draw to each other, and I love that they have that magnet as well. That they have much to learn from each other. Pen is brave with her writing, even tho she hides behind LW she writes even tho it is at great personal risk, but her bravery in her writing is something she can help teach to Colin. To help him find purpose.

I was a book virgin for season 1 & 2. I did not read any of the books going into the show. I stumbled into it out of boredom during the pandemic. I fell in love with Colin and Pen from day 1. Before this season I had to at least read their story so I found it online and binged it in a day. Now that I've purchased the book, I will pause and read it more slowly after part 1 has aired but I can see where I will enjoy some of what the show is bringing compared to what the book offered by having a proper real suitor who seems to want her involved to give her something else to offer her. But I’m still not interested in his face. LOL

I do think the general audience will need to see Colin’s arrogant swagger turn to mush at the mere mention of his eyes by one Penelope Featherington. They will need to see how his reaction is different and how she causes his reaction to be so different.  And if that behavior is necessary for that, then so be it with his whores and his behavior. I’ve always liked a bad guy attitude anyway. Besides, if these two are going to get hot and heavy and break some furniture, at least one of them is going to need to have a clue of what to do.   

[heademptie]

Cecil Finlay Vaughn

The Thot, Scott, Parent Friend (TM)

WARNINGS: Strong language, mildly suggestive language

   “Normally I’d be flattered by ye getting all hot an’ bothered by the accent, but cuid ye keep it in yer pants while I yell at ‘em for their fucken idiocy.”

   ***   ***

   Born April 7th in a town right by Loch Ness, Scotland, Cecil lived in a lighthouse with their great aunt during the winter and with their father on a farm the rest of the time. Cecil never fit into the stereotypical masculine role they were expected to as a young boy, and was pretty fluid with their gender expression, officially transitioning to nonbinary at the age of 29, however had been using neutral pronouns since they were 17. 

   ***   ***

   “Screw your stereotypes, I look fucken good in a skirt. Stop thinking about what’s in my fucken pants, ye perv.”

   *** ***

   At the age of 19, Cecil left Scotland to go travelling through Europe and expanded that area until they ended up in America at 22 and began studying there with a scholarship. Despite their carefree and adventurous attitude, they were dedicated to their studies but knew how to balance school and life. Cecil enrolled in cultural studies and excelled at the class. 

   ***   ***

   “What’s the point of there being a whole world out there if I only care about my section of it? What good is that gunna do?”

   ***   ***

   Cecil had many partners throughout their early adulthood, but were mainly one night stands with the occasional repetitive partner. Men, Women or otherwise, Cecil was open. Many tried confessing their affection for the Scottsthem, but were always turned down and Cecil would no longer engage sexually with them. When they were almost 26, Cecil labelled their romantic orientation as aromatic. Though they didn't announce it, it spread quickly and opinions of Cecil were mixed, some confused or annoyed, others accepting and eager knowing there would be no strings attached, and few remained indifferent.

   *** ***

   “I cannae love you the way you want me to, and I daenae feel like changing meto fit your fantasy. And if you loved me like you think you do, you wuidn’t ask me to.”

   *** ***

   After graduating, Cecil began travelling again and put their degree to use by visiting a range of cultures to learn from the source. Through their travels, Cecil made many friends across the world, some more powerful than others, and became well connected to a number of groups of people. Cecil eventually settled back in America at 33, specifically New York, and worked in a museum in the archives. 

   ***   ***

   “Let's fix the errors in here, shall we? Get rid of some of that nasty toxic patriotism.”

   ***   ***

   Cecil met a man named Jedidiah Fallon when they were in their late 30s, and began to hang out with him. Their friendship developed semi quickly and became quite strong, eventually becoming a romantic love on Jedidiah's side. When he confessed to Cecil, he was understanding of Cecil's feelings and knew that the same type of love would not be reciprocated, however felt that Cecil deserved to know of his feelings. Cecil decided to accept Jedidiah's confession. They later got married. Cecil loves Jedidiah and Jedidiah is in love with Cecil.

   ***   ***

   “I will love you for the rest of my life, you are my family, you are my soulmate. And maybe in our next lives, I'll be able to fall in love with you the way you have with me. But for now, in this life we live, I hope my affection is enough for you.”

   ***   ***

   Cecil is currently in their mid to late fifties and works part time at Jedidiah's gym to help with management and equipment care. They helped in raising Jedidiah's child but are not considered a parent to them, however is still family. Cecil, when not working at the gym, lectures at a local college for their major

Taglist: @nobirdsex

[nomdepen]

"She did not wish to wait for you?" Pen echoed, nearly rendered speechless at his response. She couldn't imagine pledging oneself to another, promising her heart to someone only to retract it when things grew inconvenient. She had waited for Colin for years, after all, and there wasn't even any promise of reciprocation. She'd clung to a mere fantasy for what felt like an eternity, so she could not imagine letting go of something real. For a fiancée to abandon her betrothed, on the account of something far from his control, sounded more than heartless. If Pen had managed to find someone like Benjamin to fall in love with, she'd wait a million wars if it meant having him in the end.

Her skin flushed at her own thoughts. Pen had always possessed a wandering mind, one that lingered in the clouds more often than allowed. She spent her hours reading about love stories and cheering on fictional couples to fight against the odds to remain together. Every time she looked out the drawing room window, she imagined herself in one of the stories, being adored and cherished as though she were the only woman in the world. If she were lucky enough to have something like that be real, she'd fight until her dying breath before she were to let it slip away.

But Penelope did not know war. She had grown up in London, tucked away behind the cobbled streets and neat brickwork. The closest she'd ever gotten to a battlefield was Hyde Park, which was a far cry from reality, she was certain. She did not know the intricacies of military orders nor did she know how it could tear a couple apart. The most she knew of it was what she had heard on accounts of others. After hearing the plight that Marina had endured due to war, Penelope supposed it wasn't entirely uncommon for engagements to be cancelled due to conflicts. Men died in battle and women were often left widowed. Could she truly blame any woman for not wanting to be a widow?

"But even old, dried grass has its particular uses, does it not? Granted, I'm not well-educated in horticulture, so perhaps I am mistaken." She shrugs, the apples of her cheeks simmering into a light pink. "But it is not the engagement itself that I am surprised by. I'm sure any young lady would be lucky to have you as their lawful companion, Mister Tallmadge." She continued, brows furrowing in concentration. "I just.. Well, to be speak quite candidly, I simply cannot imagine loving someone, pledging to be with them through sickness and in health, and then not having the heart to wait. It all feels rather selfish."

"Being regaled in such a manner sounds infinitely more enthralling than any other conversation one may find here. If one is lucky to find one at all." Her eyes scan over the crowd of attendees once more as she takes his arm again. She couldn't catch sight of either of her sisters, but her vision hones in on her mother, chittering away in the corner to an older gentlemen. Surely, if she waited long enough, Lady Featherington would come drag Penelope off the wall to engage in dreadful small talk, too. She had had quite enough excitement for one night and being engrossed in topics of literature sounded far more appealing.

The cool night breeze is a stark contrast to the stuffy air of the ballroom. Without the candle smoke clouding the gilded ceiling, Penelope could finally catch her breath. It oftentimes felt as though she were stepping into an entirely different plane of existence, something that sounded awfully tempting in this moment. "Well, if you're eager to be a fool, then you've come to the right place. I've been the laughingstock of the ton since my family moved to Mayfair, so I've had my fair share of practice. I'm not exactly sure how ladies are expected to behave in America, but it's rather grueling on this side of the pond. One is expected to be polite and quiet, but not so quiet as to seem vazey. We must be accomplished in what society deems ladylike, but any desire to further ourselves intellectually makes us a threat. Women are expected to be pets, submissive and docile, just producing heirs until their husbands no longer need them. It's abhorrent."

Finally pausing to catch her breath, Penelope realizes just how much pressure she'd been building up. Letting it out felt cathartic, but it was risky to speak such thoughts about men to men, especially one that she did not know well. All it would take is one word from him to have her sent off to the countryside or, worse, thrown into an asylum somewhere. Pen knew that speaking her mind was a dangerous thing to do, but she felt safe around Benjamin and she could only hope he was truly as trustworthy as she believed him to be. "Forgive me. I am not usually allowed to speak with such candor, so I may have gotten a bit carried away."

Despite the brave face Penelope wore, Benjamin had taught children long enough -- had endured war long enough -- to sense when someone was desperately trying to withhold an onslaught of tears. Her glistening blue eyes, reflective of the overhanging candles in the chandeliers above, guilted him all the more, and a slight lump formed at the back of his throat. He couldn't bear being the cause of anymore tears. Sending home young boys in caskets to their grieving mothers had been horrific enough.

Admittedly, it surprised Benjamin that Penelope was amenable to his request. A relieved little smile quirked his mouth and he ducked his chin, as he often did whenever incapable of holding someone's gaze. "You're far too gracious," he assured her. "Still, I'm afraid I can't extend that same grace to my acquaintances. I'd foolishly thought them better than this..." He offered a wan smile. "My brother once told me I wouldn't know common sense from a horse's arse -- begging your pardon, of course -- so perhaps he was right."

A grave calamity...

Benjamin's smile slipped a fraction, and the crinkled warmth around his eyes dimmed. "No, not for her," he softly affirmed, "and truly, that's all that matters. The war..." He trailed off then, knowing that it was tasteless to bring up a conflict that was only a few years old, and in the presence of a lady, no less. "Well...she did not wish to wait for me. I cannot begrudge her that."

Desperate to deflect, the lopsided smile that came to his lips was perhaps a bit too forced, and incongruous with the tiredness in his eyes. "Why do you sound so surprised?" he asked. "I may be as fascinating as old, dried grass, but I have my ways."

Penelope appeared embarrassed, yet whether it was because of him or herself, he couldn't be certain. Her request, though perhaps a bit fumbled, was more than welcome after the past several minutes.

Benjamin smiled and offered her his arm. "I'd be delighted," he assured her. "But be forewarned: if I start regaling you with literature, philosophy, and old college tales, there's very few outside who will hear your cries for help."

Chuckling, he tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow and led her towards the terrace. "I suppose I should've suggested this outright... It's quiet, free of Lord Hepplewhite's flying spittle, and far, far away from those who enact auditory assault." He grinned. "Present company excluded, of course. Er...I meant myself. Not you."

Good going, jinglebrains.

"Perhaps I should save the quips for the court jesters," he decided, "though God only knows I could join them as an honorary fool."