#memory 211

[pokemonfrommemory]

Back in the day she had ~style~

[creature-wizard]

"I'm in a bad place and need to get out, what can I do?"

I figured I'd make a post with all the resources/tips I've collected to help people get out of shitty situations so far, since it's easier than linking to a bunch of posts each time.

Seek out appropriate resources. This can include support groups (online or offline), helplines, and the like.

If you're in the US, you can call 211 to help you find resources.

Crisis Text Line offers services to the US, Ireland, Canada, and the UK.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is a US service offers a lot of information for sexual abuse survivors.

The Trevor Lifeline is a service for queer youth in the US.

If you're a minor, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Minors.

If you're an adult, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Adults.

You might search on Qwant for like something like "resources for people in abuse" or "abuse resources help" or "domestic violence survivors resources".

Ask people for help in finding resources. If you can't find anything on your own, there are other people who know where to direct you. It might take awhile to find what you're looking for, but keep asking.

A WORD OF CAUTION: there are many predatory spiritual groups and conspiracy theorists out there who prey on abuse survivors and mentally ill people. You will often see these people claiming that channeling or hypnosis can help you remember past life memories or repressed traumatic memories. This is nonsense and quackery.

Relevant posts of mine:

Hypnosis is unreliable for memory recovery, and this is one way we know.

False past life memories among the starseed movement

Here’s the trouble with hypnotic regression…

If you're on a website that claims to support cult survivors and you see any of these names in the citations (and make sure you check the citations!), leave immediately - all of these people are far right conspiracy theorists. (Unfortunately, many people today are unwittingly perpetuating the BS of Fritz Springmeier in particular. See this and this for more info on that.)

Change who and what you surround yourself with. Start associating with different people/groups as much as you can. Get hobbies to fill your time. Unfollow blogs that reinforce the beliefs you're trying to get away from, and follow blogs that provide a healthier alternative.

You might follow blogs like:

A Kind Place

Trauma Survivors Helping Trauma Survivors

Compassionate Reminders

Trauma Survivors Activities

Reasons For Hope

Bluest Fluff

If you're trying to rebuild your worldview without conspiratorial/culty elements, go take a look at my Resources page.

Remember that your first job is looking after yourself. You don't owe the group. You aren't responsible for the group, or for anyone in it. It might feel that way, but it's vitally important to acknowledge when you're unqualified or suffering burnout. You might feel like bad things will happen if you leave, but that's a fear, not a fact.

You also don't have to justify your departure to the group. You can just leave. If you feel that you must give a reason, you can offer something as simple as "I need to take some time to focus on my mental health" or "I'm really busy lately and don't have time to spend here." If they throw a fit over this, that's honestly just more proof that you need to get out.

If any practices the group taught you actually helped, you can keep doing them. If doing affirmations helped you, keep doing affirmations. If listening to so-called healing frequencies actually made you feel better, you don't have to stop listening to them. If you were practicing something like the Law of Assumption, you can carry on with a lot of that under a psychological model rather than Neville Goddard's wacky metaphysical model. (See this video for an example.) If it genuinely helps you and doesn't hurt anyone else, by all means, keep doing it.

You might look at my Manifestation Without Woo posts:

Manifestation Without Woo: Changing Your Brain

Manifestation Without Woo: People React To Your Projections, & Your Projections Affect Your Perceptions

Manifestation Without Woo: Setting Reasonable Goals

Manifestation Without Woo: Make It Fun!

Manifestation Without Woo: What If It's Not Working?

Get some critical thinking skills. In order to keep yourself from falling into another bad group, it's important to develop your critical thinking skills.

Learn to apply the Five W's (who, what, when, where, and why) when encountering any information.

Learn common logical fallacies.

Learn the difference between fact, opinion, belief, and prejudice.

Don't equate emotional reactions with some kind of innate or higher moral guidance.

Ask yourself if you're "thinking for yourself" or being led to believe you're thinking for yourself.

Know what emotional manipulation tactics look like.

Watch out for these behaviors in any new group you join.

Yes, there are ways to confirm the age of an old text without having the original text itself.

Learn how propaganda works.

Watch out for these red flags in spiritual groups.

And watch out for this red flag.

Understand that belief doesn't have to be binary.

So yeah, hopefully this'll give folks some actionable advice. I can't promise it's going to help each and every person out there, but hopefully it'll give a lot of you something that will help.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Night 211: Selûne's Hallowing

words: 1.2K rating: G pairing: Gale x Tav summary: The annual festival for the Moonmaiden comes to Waterdeep, and with it old friends.

Ao3 - 1000 Night Series

---------------------------🟣----------------------------------

“What is a moon cake made out of anyway? I’ve never had one.”

“Never?!” Gale asked, gob smacked. “Oh, well you are in for a treat! The bakeries only make them during Selûne's Hallowing. Pure white. The base is made of finely ground almonds with the slightest hint of Clarry, and a golden berry compote between the layers. It’s a delicacy.”

“And we’ve gotten one so large when it’s only just the two of us because….”

“Well…they only make it this time of year….”

Gale and Tav walk back home with their purchases. Intent to spend the night of Selûne alone in quite reflection (or rather forgetting about the whole thing and just drinking wine with their cake while the moon was out, as Gale intended) when they came across a crowd that wasn’t there before in the center of town.

“Sounds like quite the ruckus. Perhaps we should…” Gale didn’t even get the chance to suggest they continue home and stay out of it, as Tav was already walking over to see what was going on. He admired a lot of the catlike traits in his wife. Her grace. Her reflexes. Those gorgeous eyes. But this curiosity thing of hers was going to get them into serious trouble one of these days. Or rather again….

They make their way through the crowd towards its center to see what everyone was so enamored with. Immediately getting a glimpse of shining armor and brilliant wings. “Dame Aylin?”

“Izzy!”

Tav broke through what remained of the crowd to run over to the Selûnite cleric, who welcomed her with open arms. “It’s good to see you Tav.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you were staying at the cloister outside Baldur’s Gate.”

“Wherever my mother’s presence is welcome & honored, her sword shall be there to anoint her followers with the light of her abiding joy.” Dame Aylin announced.

“And Selûnite clerics are welcome to attend any festival in Faerûn. We decided we would come and see you.”

Tav smiled and hugged Isobel again. Gale smiled as well at the sweet display. He knew how desperately sometimes Tav missed their friends. He knew because he missed them too. Though he was happy to have his life with Tav alone, sometimes ‘alone’ was not enough. It was good to see them.

The couple invited the other to the temple of Selûne where they are staying to catch up, as Isobel had some preparations to make before tonight. Gale, for all his years in Waterdeep, had no recollection of this place or any memory of visiting the temple on his own in years. If he ever did. He felt a little bit like an interloper in the Moon Maiden’s walls. “So, how has life been treating you?”

“Life is resplendent.” Dame Aylin replied when Tav asked. Almost as eager as a pup to share how happy she was, in contrast to the dominating figure of the aasimar. “Every day with Isobel is a gift. Each one more joyous than the last.”

“Aylin likes to wax poetic on our relationship.”

“You don’t say?” Tav gave a cheeky little side glance at Gale. Who, for his part, pretended to not know what that look meant.

“I speak nothing but the truth!” Aylin's voice boomed before it turned soft again. "The century I spent locked in the Shadowfell was torment. But not because I was alone in the dark. Rather to be without my mate was the worse fate imaginable. The pain of Shar's fanatics was nothing compared to the pain in my heart, stabbing and sucking, without my sweet Isobel. Now that she has been returned to me, I would spend another 100 years in that hells for each day in her embrace."

"Oh Aylin....."

Gale frowned. His pride a little wounded. He'd have to stop by the library at some point and brush up on his poetry studies soon.

"And you, my friend, you have married your magus and set up home here."

"I have!" Tav reached out and took Gale's hand. Making him blush a little. "We're very happy here."

"Good. You deserve it. The horrors you have faced, restoring me to my full glory as the Moon Maiden's charge, surviving a most insidious foe that would enslave all. So few have accomplished so much, and any reward pales in comparison to your honor." It was Tav's turn to blush, and Gale felt a little foolish for being jealous. "And you, Gale of Waterdeep. You deserve praise as well. I have no care for magicians now. Such are their scheming ways and accursed arts. But you? I know our champion did not overcome their trials alone. For that, my gratitude seems a feeble reward."

"Oh, I think the gratitude of a god child is more than enough reward. Besides," Gale squeezed Tav's hand, "I already got my reward. And Dekarios is fine. I don't go by 'Gale of Waterdeep' anymore."

"Hmmm...I am not familiar with this place. Where is Dekarios? Did we pass it in our travels my love?"

The mortals all chuckle, and Isobel tells Aylin, "I'll explain it later."

The four of them continue to chat for a while before Isobel must see to her duties for the festival and the locals leave.

"It was nice to see them." Tav commented as they walked across the waterside to their home. Aylin and Isobel would be leaving in the morning. They wouldn’t have time to see them again before they set off. Nor did they know when they would see them at all.

"Oh, to be sure. Dame Aylin is still a most impressive and intimidating figure. Isobel seems much happier as well. Free of her father's shadow, literally and figuratively."

Tav chuckled at Gale's quip, then took a long step in front of them to circle back and face him. Halting their progress. "Did you mean what you said?" Gale was puzzled on what she meant as he had said a lot of things that evening. "About all this....being your reward?"

"You really have to ask?" If she did, then he was cutting a much less finer figure to Dame Aylin than he originally thought. "You, this life, is the greatest reward I could ever imagine. To have you by my side every day. I would fight another 100 Elder Brains if I had to. A 1000, even. And a few adolescent ones.” Tav giggled at his quip and Gale felt gladdened to see her spirit’s lift.

He then lifted her chin toward him. Kissing her as the sun sank into the sea. “I love you. With my whole being. Sometimes I feel that this reward is too great for me. That I’ve been given blessings with both hands. Feel a little greedy keeping it all to myself.”

“Oh, well in that case…” Tav stepped past him to pretend to leave, but Gale quickly scooped her in his arms.

“Oh no you don’t! The gods may be shelling out blessings with both hands, but I have two quite fine ones here to keep you.”

They finish their walk home just as the sun faded away completely. Watching the moon rise and sail across the night sky, like the ships below cross the sea. Focusing on their own blessings granted to them by the Moon Maiden, or whatever deity saw fit to see them happy. Gale really didn’t care which one. But if he ever found out, he’d be certain to toss a few extra coins in their offering next time he went.

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR NEW MASTERPOST

Ease of reading in mind

Season 1

Chapter 1: PG 1-20 Four Heroes Return

Bonus Chapter "Name"

Chapter 2: PG 21-31 Back Home

Chapter 3: PG 32-57 A "Walk"

Chapter 4: PG 58-81 Library

Chapter 5: PG 82-108 A Promise

Chapter 6: PG 109-128 Memory Lane

Chapter 7 PT 1: PG 129-155 A Hero Playing a Villain

Chapter 7 PT 2: PG 156-177 A Hero Playing a Villain

Chapter 8: PG 178-197 Dark Mirror's Shards

Chapter 9: PG 198-210 Triforce of Power

Chapter 10 PT 1: PG 211-222 Uncontrollable Curse

Chapter 10 PT 2: PG 223-244 Uncontrollable Curse

Chapter 11 PT 1: Unfinished Business Pages 245-259

Chapter 11 PT 2: Unfinished Business Pages 260-278

Chapter 11 PT 3: Unfinished Business Pages 279-308

Chapter 11 PT 4: Unfinished Business Pages 309-338

Chapter 12: Home again Page 339-360

Chapter 13: Darkness and Vaati 361-370

Chapter 14: A Waking Nightmare 371-386 Part 1

Chapter 14: A Waking Nightmare 371-410 Part 2

Chapter 15: Split 411-424

Chapter 16: Dark Link and Green Pages 425-446

Chapter 17: Dark Link and Green 447-457

Chapter 17: Going Further 458-468

Chapter 17: Going Further 469-492

Chapter 18: Reality 493-506

Season 2

Chapter 19 Shades of Blue

Chapter 19 PT 1: Shades of Blue Pages 507-510

Chapter 19 PT 2: Shades of Blue Pages 511-514

Chapter 19 PT 3: Shades of Blue Pages 515-518

Chapter 19 PT 4: Shades of Blue Pages 519-522

Chapter 19 PT 5: Shades of Blue Pages 523-526

Chapter 19 PT 6: Shades of Blue Censored Pages 527-530

Chapter 19 PT 6: Shades of Blue Uncensored Pages 527-530

Chapter 19 PT 7: Shades of Blue Pages 531-534

Chapter 19 PT 8: Shades of Blue Pages 535-538

Chapter 19 PT 9: Shades of Blue Pages 539-542

Chapter 19 PT 10: Shades of Blue Pages 543-546

Chapter 19 PT 11: Shades of Blue Pages 547-552

Chapter 19 PT 12: Shades of Blue Pages 553-556

Chapter 20 New Friends

New Friends Part 1 Pages 557-560

New Friends Part 2 Pages 561-565

Chapter 21 Link's Bedroom

Link's Bedroom Part 1 Page 570-574

Link's Bedroom Part 2 Page 570-574

Link's Bedroom Part 3 Page 575-578

Link's Bedroom Part 4 Page 579-582

Link's Bedroom Part 5 Page 583-586

Link's Bedroom Part 6 Page 587-591

Link's Bedroom Part 7 Page 592-595

Link's Bedroom Part 8 Page 596-600

Link's Bedroom Part 9 Page 601-604

Chapter 22 Cloudy Kitchen Thoughts

Cloudy kitchen thoughts Part 1 Page 605-610

Cloudy kitchen thoughts Part 2 Page 611-616

Cloudy kitchen thoughts Part 3 Page 617-623

Cloudy kitchen thoughts Part 4 Page 624-630

Cloudy kitchen thoughts Part 5 Page 631-637

Cloudy kitchen thoughts Part 6 Page 638-644

Cloudy kitchen thoughts Part 7 Page 645-649

Chapter 23 The Woods

The Woods Part 1 Pages 650-655

The Woods Part 2 Pages 656-659

The Woods Part 3 Pages 660-667

The Woods Part 4 Pages 668-673

The Woods Part 5 Pages 674-677

The Woods Part 6 Pages 681-687

The Woods Part 7 Pages 688-694

The Woods Part 8 Pages 695-700

The Woods PT 9 Pages 701-706

The Woods PT 10 Pages 707-712

Chapter 24: Secret keeping in the darkness

Secret keeping in the darkness PT 1 Pages 713-718

Secret keeping in the darkness PT 2 Pages 719-723

Secret keeping in the darkness PT 3 Pages 724-729

Secret keeping in the darkness PT 4 Pages 730-735

Secret keeping in the darkness PT 5 Pages 736-741

Secret keeping in the darkness PT 6 Pages 742-747

Secret keeping in the darkness PT 7 Pages 748-753

Secret keeping in the darkness PT 8 Pages 754-756

Chapter 25: Vio

Pages 757-762

Pages 763-768

Pages 769-773

Chapter 26: Dream's end

Pages 774-779

Pages 780-785

Pages 786-791

Pages 792-797

Pages 798-803

Pages 804-810

Chapter 27: Turning point

Pages 811-815

Pages 816-820

Pages 821-826

Pages 826-832

[taasgirl]

Can you write something about reader being trent alexander-arnold’s girlfriend and her also being a player for englands womens team? Xx

player / trent alexander arnold

omg i'm so sorry this took so long, i was on a school grind

summary: trent and y/n are in a relationship, with the two of them being professional ballers.

liked by trentarnold66, arsenal, lottewubbenmoy, and 26, 883 others ynusername North London Forever ❤️🤍

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liked by user78492, user99384, user66381, and 452 others user54384 i think we as a society moved on too quickly from this interview

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liked by lionesses, jackgrealish, masonmount, and 752, 832 others england Who's ready for our upcoming games? Your Three Lions take on Australia tomorrow night!

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liked by alessiarusso, ellatoone, jackgrelish, and 10, 348 others ynprivate this could be me but @ trentarnold66 is really shit at football

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liked by johnstones, bukayosaka, ynusername, and 222, 730 others trentarnold66 A big game and a big win. Onto the next 💪

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liked by liawaelti, lucybronze, jackgrealish, and 326, 837 others ynusername trent is my valentine ❤️

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liked by user67394, user99302, user52734, and 213 others username44291 y/n at the euros is gonna do it for me every. single. time.

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liked by bukayosaka, katiemccabe, liawaelti, and 632, 837 others arsenal Staples to our club, Gooners through and through.

trentarnold66 y/n to liverpool @ fabrizioromano?

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liked by trentarnold66, jackgrealish, maryearps1, and 11, 218 others ynprivate OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD. i'm so in love with this man it's insane

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liked by caitlinfoord, lewismiller, dominikszoboslai, and 32, 874 others ynprivate every hot couple has a cheap copy

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liked by samkerr1, declanrice, lucybronze, and 211, 703 others arsenal Rate this duo 1-10

user51938 1000000

declanrice Solid 4/10

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liked by ynusername, jordannobbs, maryfowler, and 376, 975 others trentarnold66 Happy Birthday to the most unbelievably beautiful woman I've ever met. You're my world, my absolute everything; and I know I'd be nowhere if I didn't have you nagging me for the past decade. You're so so strong, and so incredible. I truly have no idea of what I've done to deserve you.

To more memories, trophies, and hopefully some much smaller football boots.

I love you Y/N.

bukayosaka Happy Birthday Y/N!

ynusername this may just be the most beautiful thing i've ever read

lucybronze no sorry trent. no babies for a while please

keirawalsh I second this

ynusername no babies for a loooooong time

hehe thank you for reading, send me more submissions of what/who you wanna see, i'm open to everyone (even women ballers!!).

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Understanding Tolkien Legendarium: A Mythology of its Own

Canon vs. Legendarium

On several of his letters, Tolkien uses the expressions “my myth”, “my mythology”, “mythological-theological”, “mythological world” and “a monotheistic but sub-creational [literary] mythology” (Letter 181) to describe his world-building:

I am interested in mythological 'invention', and the mystery of literary creation (or sub-creation as I have elsewhere called it) and I am the most readily available corpus vile for experiment or observation. Tolkien Letter 180

Dr. Corey Olsen, an American Professor, who specializes in Medieval literature and on Tolkien studies, recently made headlines because of his affirmation: “First thing to specify is that there’s no such thing really as canon in Tolkien.” Precisely because there’s a legendarium (or "lore"), and it's organic and ever involving, allowing for multiple interpretations within it.

This statement enraged many in the Tolkien fandom, who promptly accused Dr. Olsen of “selling out” and “lying” on Amazon’s behalf. Because, of course, some random people on-line think they know better than a college professor with a PhD in medieval literature from Columbia University (2003), and a prolific academic career. To advance Tolkien research and make it accessible “to the masses” Dr. Olsen started a website on 2007, a podcast on 2009, and founded the Mythgard Institute in 2011. 

May I say that all this is 'mythical', and not any kind of new religion or vision. As far as I know it is merely an imaginative invention, to express, in the only way I can, some of my (dim) apprehensions of the world. [...] I have, I suppose, constructed an imaginary time, but kept my feet on my own mother-earth for place […] Middle earth is [...] not my own invention. It is a modernization or alteration (N[ew] E[nglish] Dictionary] 'a perversion') of an old word for the inhabited world of Men […] I imagine the gap to be about 6000 years: that is we are now at the end of the Fifth Age, if the Ages were of about the same length as S.A. and T.A. But they have, I think, quickened; and I imagine we are actually at the end of the Sixth Age, or in the Seventh. between ice of the North and the fire of the South. [...] Many reviewers seem to assume that Middle-earth is another planet! […] I have deliberately written a tale, which is built on or out of certain 'religious' ideas, but is not an allegory of them (or anything else), and does not mention them overtly, still less preach them [...] But I might say that if the tale is 'about' anything (other than itself) […] t is mainly concerned with Death, and Immortality; and the 'escapes': serial longevity, and hoarding memory. Tolkien Letter 211

The denial of a “canon” doesn’t mean everything is fair game, mind you. There’s still a legendarium, and while, yes, it allows for different interpretations (or “playing around” as Dr. Olsen puts it) they still need to be aligned with Tolkien lore; follow the themes Tolkien embodied on his world-building and work. Tolkien created a living mythology, yes, but these are still his characters, his story and his world.

The adaptations of Tolkien work can afford to play with the legendarium if they keep the core message, themes and symbolism, and this is what Peter Jackson did, and what “Rings of Power” is doing; the latter more successfully, actually, because Peter Jackson delivered a very wholly evil vs. wholly good type of story, when Tolkien himself rejected this notion (Letter 183): In my story I do not deal in Absolute Evil. I do not think there is such a thing, since that is Zero. I do not think that at any rate any 'rational being' is wholly evil.

A Myth not an Allegory

The fastest way to misunderstand Tolkien is trying to see allegories where they don’t exist. His work is not an allegory for WWI, WWII, industrialization, totalitarianism, nor any other present day or 20th century event. Sauron is not Stalin, the Orcs are not the communists, and Mordor is not the Soviet Union. Nor anything of that sort. Sauron is Sauron, and the Orcs are the Orcs, period. There is no allegory here, and Tolkien himself rejected this idea.

Tolkien expressed his dislike for allegory and denied his work is one several times on his letters: there is no 'allegory', moral, political, or contemporary in the work at all (Letter 181); my story is not an allegory of Atomic power, but of Power (exerted for Domination) (Letter 186); there is no 'symbolism' or conscious allegory in my story (Letter 203); I have no didactic purpose, and no allegorical intent. (I do not like allegory) (Letter 215); I am not naturally attracted (in fact much the reverse) by allegory, mystical or moral (Letter 262).

That there is no allegory does not, of course, say there is no applicability. There always is. And since I have not made the struggle wholly unequivocal: sloth and stupidity among hobbits, pride and [illegible] among Elves, grudge and greed in Dwarf-hearts, and folly and wickedness among the 'Kings of Men', and treachery and power-lust even among the 'Wizards', there is I suppose applicability in my story to present times. But I should say, if asked, the tale is not really about Power and Dominion: that only sets the wheels going; it is about Death and the desire for deathlessness. Tolkien Letter 203

This might indicate that Tolkien doesn’t mind having his work interpreted as theological allegory on occasion (for different sins/vices). However, political messaging is something that, as Tolkien tells us on his Letter 299, is “entirely foreign to [his] thought.” 

Meaning: everyone who tries to imprint political issues (whatever they might be) onto Tolkien legendarium is missing the point, and completely off mark with their interpretations. Over the years, many accused Tolkien of racism arguing the Orcs were meant to symbolize countless non-white peoples. No; if the Orcs would to be any allegory to real life, they would be corrupted/possessed men by the Devil.

On his Letter 131, Tolkien writes about his dislike for “conscious and intentional allegory”, and, once again, states his work is not one. However, he did used “allegorical language” because it’s almost mandatory on myths and fairytales. 

Inspirations

The main inspiration to the legendarium is, evidently, Christian-Catholic theology, since Tolkien was, himself, a devoted Catholic.

“The Lord of the Rings” is of course a fundamentally religious and Catholic work; unconsciously so at first, consciously in the revision […] the religious element is absorbed into the story and the symbolism. Tolkien Letter 142

The struggle between “good” and “evil”, in Tolkien legendarium, is personified by Eru Ilúvatar (“The One”) and Melkor/Morgoth (the source of corruption/evil), and the all other characters must choose (Free-will) with which one to align themselves with. And this is where Tolkien employs allegorical language:

Eru Ilúvatar is the Christian God, and Tolkien himself refers to Him as such on several of his letters: gift of Ilúvatar (God) (Letter 131); denies the existence of God, saying that the One is a mere invention of the jealous Valar of the West (Letter 131); part of the World, which is God's and ultimately good (153); special gifts of God to the Eruhini (Children of the One); 'There is only one 'god': God, Eru Ilúvatar. (Notes on Letter 156).

Melkor/Morgoth is the Christian Devil, the corrupter of God’s creation, and Tolkien calls him “diabolus” (Letters 153), and describing his actions as “satanic”: absolute Satanic rebellion and evil of Morgoth and his satellite Sauron (Letter 156); substituted a Satanist religion with a large temple [devoted to Morgoth] (Letter 156); Satan fell. In my myth Morgoth fell beasts and monsters, and the Unknown (Letter 183); Melkor became the rebel, and the Diabolos of these tales, who disputed the kingdom of Arda with Manwë (Letter 211); the Prime Dark Lord (the Prime sub-creative Rebel) Morgoth (Letter 153). 

The whole of Middle-earth was Morgoth's Ring: A shrine to Morgoth on the Southlands (Rings of Power, 1x05)

What is Sauron’s place in all of this? Sauron is a follower of Morgoth/Satan and his chief agent on Middle-earth (Tolkien Letter 183). He’s a “satanic demon” and a satellite to Morgoth (Letter 156), but “by the end of the Third Age (though actually much weaker than before) he claimed to be Morgoth returned" (Letter 183). Allegorically speaking, Sauron is, in essence, the Devil’s wingman and the head of the Church of Satan.

The Ainur: Valar and Maiar

The Ainur (Valar and Maiar) are not “Catholic saints” in Tolkien legendarium, as many wrongly assume. They are of angelic nature, as Tolkien describes them several times on his letters: the first creations, angelic beings (Letter 156); 'angelic' gods (Letter 159); angelical First-created (Letter 257) and angelic immortals (Letter 325). The Valar are "regents under God" while the Maiar are "of the same order but less power and majesty" (Letter 325).

The Valar's function is to exercise delegated authority in their spheres (of rule and government, not creation, making or re-making). They are 'divine', that is, were originally 'outside' and existed 'before' the making of the world. Their power and wisdom is derived from their Knowledge of the cosmogonical drama, which they perceived first as a drama (that is as in a fashion we perceive a story composed by some-one else), and later as a 'reality' (Letter 131).

'The immediate 'authorities' are the Valar (the Powers or Authorities): the 'gods'. But they are only created spirits – of high angelic order we should say, with their attendant lesser angels – reverend, therefore, but not worshipful; and though potently 'subcreative', and resident on Earth to which they are bound by love, having assisted in its making and ordering, they cannot by their own will alter any fundamental provision.   Tolkien Letter 153 

The Valar are similar to Christian archangels in the sense they can intercede next to Eru (God) on the Faithful’s behalf. This is very much in line with Christian-Catholic tradition: the devotees pray to the archangels (especially to St. Michael the Archangel) to deliver their prayers and pleas to God: the Valar lay down their delegated power and appeal to God, and receive the power and permission to deal with the situation (Letter 131). The Maiar are associated with lower-rank angels, servants to the Valar (archangels).

We are in a time [Third age] when the One God, Eru, is known to exist by the wise, but is not approachable save by or through the Valar, though He is still remembered in (unspoken) prayer by those of Númenórean descent. Tolkien Letter 297

Like Tolkien tells us, the Valar (like the Christian archangels) are worshipful, but they aren’t like the Pagan Gods (Polytheism), because "there is only one God” in Tolkien legendarium, and that's Eru Ilúvatar (Monotheism).

And with this is why Melkor/Morgoth (a Vala), like Lucifer (archangel) is in open rebellion against Eru/God’s authority: it’s a Satanic rebellion like Tolkien describes it, because Melkor wants to usurp Eru’s place as "the God" and "the creator" of the legendarium. But the power of Creation is God’s alone, and, so, Melkor, like the Christian Devil, devoted himself to corrupt it, in every way, shape or form.

But this is where things get misinterpreted, as well, especially when it comes to the Virgin Mary, with many attempting to associate her with the character of Galadriel. There is no Virgin Mary “equivalent” on Tolkien legendarium, nor could ever be. The “Holy Virgin” is the highest Catholic devotion, and Tolkien was not only a devoted Catholic but he lived during the time the Vatican consecrated the Church and the human race to the Immaculate Heart of Mary (1942). Him associating the “Holy Virgin” with a symbolic human character (Elf) is not only absurd, but pure blasphemy, because he describes Galadriel as “penitent”, a repentant sinner: I think it is true that I owe much of this character to Christian and Catholic teaching and imagination about Mary, but actually Galadriel was a penitent (Letter 320).

No Catholic would ever describe the Virgin Mary a “repentant” because that goes against everything Catholics believe ("Mother of God"; “Assumption of Mary”, "Immaculate Conception"; "The Sinlessness of Mary"), and Tolkien himself talks about this on his notes of Letter 212: The Assumption of Mary, the only unfallen person. To Catholics (and other Christian branches), the Virgin Mary was born without the stain of the "Original sin" (The Fall), she's sinlessness because she's the "Mother of God".

When Tolkien talks about the “Christian and Catholic teaching and imagination about Mary” he is talking about Catholic Mariology and Marian devotion in Catholicism (which is a female-centered devotion praticed, mostly, by Catholic women). Which means, Galadriel is not “the Virgin Mary” of the lore; she’s a devotee of the Virgin Mary, and follows the Holy Virgin example as penitence for her former sins in Tolkien legendarium. And this should be obvious to any Catholic or, in my case, anyone who was born and raised in deep Catholic countries.

Children of Ilúvatar: Elves and Men

Elves and Men [are] the Children of God (Letter 156), and they were Eru’s addition to the Design, the Eruhîn [...] The Firstborn (Elves) and the Successors [or Followers] (Men), whom the Valar were forbidden to try and dominate by fear or force (Letter 257).

The Valar played no part on their making, but Elves and Men are “the object of the special desire and love of the gods” (Letter 131), or the ideal material for subjects and slaves, to whom the corrupted as Melkor/Morgoth and his followers (mainly Sauron), wanted to become masters and “gods”, envying the Children, and secretly hating them, in proportion as they became rebels against the One (Letter 212). 

It was because of this pre-occupation with the Children of God that the spirits [Valar and Maiar] so often took the form and likeness of the Children, especially after their appearance. It was thus that Sauron appeared in this shape. It is mythologically supposed that when this shape was 'real', that is a physical actuality in the physical world and not a vision transferred from mind to mind, it took some time to build up. It was then destructible like other physical organisms. But that of course did not destroy the spirit, nor dismiss it from the world to which it was bound until the end. Tolkien Letter 200

Maiar in human form: Olórin (Gandalf) and Mairon (Sauron). As Tolkien tells us, these physical forms are real, and made of flesh. They are not visions these Maiar conjure on the minds of others.

Elves and Men are related and similar races, but partly different, and wholly divergent from the Ainur, like Tolkien tells us in Letter 131. Neither Men or Elves are of “divine nature” nor "higher beings". Immortality and Mortality are special gifts from Eru to His children, and no Vala can alter this pre-destined condition: meaning, the Valar can’t grant immortality to Men, nor make an Elf mortal.

The cases of Lúthien, Túor and Arwen were a direct act from God, because the entering into Men of the Elven-strain is indeed represented as a part of a Divine plan for the ennoblement of the Human Race, from the beginning destined to replace the Elves (Letter 153). 

In Tolkien legendarium, “Men” and “Elves” represent different sides of Human nature, mainly connected to Death (mortality vs. Immortality). Both are rational creatures of Free will in regard to God (Letter 181):

In this mythological world the Elves and Men are in their incarnate forms kindred, but in the relation of their 'spirits' to the world in time represent different 'experiments', each of which has its own natural trend, and weakness.   The Elves represent, as it were, the artistic, aesthetic, and purely scientific aspects of the Humane nature raised to a higher level than is actually seen in Men. That is: they have a devoted love of the physical world, and a desire to observe and understand it for its own sake and as 'other' – sc. as a reality derived from God in the same degree as themselves – not as a material for use or as a power-platform. They also possess a 'subcreational' or artistic faculty of great excellence. They are therefore 'immortal'. Not 'eternally', but to endure with and within the created world, while its story lasts.  When 'killed', by the injury or destruction of their incarnate form, they do not escape from time, but remain in the world, either discarnate, or being re-born. This becomes a great burden as the ages lengthen, especially in a world in which there is malice and destruction [...] Mere change as such is not represented as 'evil': it is the unfolding of the story and to refuse this is of course against the design of God. But the Elvish weakness is in these terms naturally to regret the past, and to become unwilling to face change: as if a man were to hate a very long book still going on, and wished to settle down in a favourite chapter. Hence they fell in a measure to Sauron's deceits: they desired some 'power' over things as they are (which is quite distinct from an), to make their particular will to preservation effective: to arrest change, and keep things always fresh and fair. The 'Three Rings' were 'unsullied', because this object was in a limited way good, it included the healing of the real damages of malice, as well as the mere arrest of change; and the Elves did not desire to dominate other wills, nor to usurp all the world to their particular pleasure. But with the downfall of 'Power' their little efforts at preserving the past fell to bits. There was nothing more in Middle-earth for them, but weariness. So Elrond and Galadriel depart. Gandalf is a special case. He was not the maker or original holder of the Ring – but it was surrendered to him by Círdan, to assist him in his task. Gandalf was returning, his labour and errand finished, to his home, the land of the Valar. The passage over Sea is not Death. The 'mythology' is Elf-centred. According to it there was at first an actual Earthly Paradise, home and realm of the Valar, as a physical part of the earth.  Tolkien Letter 181

In the legendarium, the Elves are representative of the intellectual and artistic-driven humans, more concerned with understanding the world around them than with power itself (safe a few exceptions, of course). However, they desire to stop change and cease the passage and decay of time, wanting things to stay the same forever; and that’s their greatest weakness. And this is visible on their two “Falls” on the legendarium (first in Valinor, and later on Middle-earth). 

Men, on the other hand, are more ambitious and power-driven, and their unacceptance of their own mortality is their greatest weakness, in Tolkien legendarium. Aligned with Christian theology “mortality” was the punishment for “the Fall of Men”, however, Tolkien doesn’t consider it that way because “a divine 'punishment' is also a divine 'gift', if accepted, since its object is ultimate blessing” and a 'mortal' Man has probably [...] a higher if unrevealed destiny than a longeval one (Letter 212). 

Hobbits belong ot the race of Men in the legendarium: the Hobbits are, of course, really meant to be a branch of the specifically human race [...] They are entirely without non-human powers, but are represented as being more in touch with 'nature' (the soil and other living things, plants and animals), and abnormally, for humans, free from ambition or greed of wealth. They are made small (little more than half human stature, but dwindling as the years pass) partly to exhibit the pettiness of man, plain unimaginative parochial man – though not with either the smallness or the savageness of Swift, and mostly to show up, in creatures of very small physical power, the amazing and unexpected heroism of ordinary men 'at a pinch' (Letter 131).

Hobbits were a breed of which the chief physical mark was their stature; and the chief characteristic of their temper was the almost total eradication of any dormant 'spark', only about one per mil had any trace of it [...] hobbit virtues: shrewd sense, generosity, patience and fortitude, and also a strong 'spark' yet unkindled Tolkien Letter 281

Children of Aulë: Dwarves

The Dwarves are called the “Children of Aulë” because this race was created by this Vala as companions, but their existence was allowed by Eru Ilúvatar (the ultimate authority on the legendarium).

This legend is present on “The Silmarillion”, but Tolkien refers to it on his Letter 212: 

Aulë, for instance, one of the Great, in a sense 'fell'; for he so desired to see the Children, that he became impatient and tried to anticipate the will of the Creator. Being the greatest of all craftsmen he tried to make children according to his imperfect knowledge of their kind. When he had made thirteen, God spoke to him in anger, but not without pity: for Aulë had done this thing not out of evil desire to have slaves and subjects of his own, but out of impatient love, desiring children to talk to and teach, sharing with them the praise of Ilúvatar and his great love of the materials of which the world is made.  The One rebuked Aulë, saying that he had tried to usurp the Creator's power; but he could not give independent life to his makings. He had only one life, his own derived from the One, and could at most only distribute it. 'Behold' said the One: 'these creatures of thine have only thy will, and thy movement. Though you have devised a language for them, they can only report to thee thine own thought. This is a mockery of me.'  Then Aulë in grief and repentance humbled himself and asked for pardon. And he said: 'I will destroy these images of my presumption, and wait upon thy will.' And he took a great hammer, raising it to smite the eldest of his images; but it flinched and cowered from him. And as he withheld his stroke, astonished, he heard the laughter of Ilúvatar. 'Do you wonder at this?' he said. 'Behold! thy creatures now live, free from thy will! For I have seen thy humility, and taken pity on your impatience. Thy making I have taken up into my design.'   This is the Elvish legend of the making of the Dwarves; but the Elves report that Ilúvatar said thus also: 'Nonetheless I will not suffer my design to be forestalled: thy children shall not awake before mine own.' And he commanded Aulë to lay the fathers of the Dwarves severally in deep places, each with his mate, save Dúrin the eldest who had none. There they should sleep long, until Ilúvatar bade them awake. Nonetheless there has been for the most part little love between the Dwarves and the children of Ilúvatar. And of the fate that Ilúvatar has set upon the children of Aulë beyond the Circles of the world Elves and men know nothing, and if Dwarves know they do not speak of it. 

The Corrupted: Orcs

On his letters, Tolkien describes the “Orcs” as a “race of 'rational incarnate' creatures, though horribly corrupted”, ruined and twisted by Morgoth/Melkor during the Elder Days, when the Diabolus subjugated and corrupted some of the earliest Elves, before they had ever heard of the 'gods', let alone of God (Letter 153). 

They would be Morgoth's greatest Sins, abuses of his highest privilege, and would be creatures begotten of Sin, and naturally bad. (I nearly wrote 'irredeemably bad'; but that would be going too far. Because by accepting or tolerating their making – necessary to their actual existence – even Orcs would become part of the World, which is God's and ultimately good) [...] I have represented at least the Orcs as pre-existing real beings on whom the Dark Lord has exerted the fullness of his power in remodelling and corrupting them, not making them. That God would 'tolerate' that, seems no worse theology than the toleration of the calculated dehumanizing of Men by tyrants that goes on today.  Tolkien Letter 153 

"Rings of Power" gives a bit of insight on the corruption of the first Elves by Morgoth, in the character of Adar (2x01)

In the chapter “Myths Transformed” of  “Morgoth’s Ring”, we have more insight on the Orcs: the idea of breeding the Orcs came from Melkor, not at first maybe so much for the provision of servants or the infantry of his wars of destruction, as for the defilement of the Children and the blasphemous mockery of the designs of Eru. The details of the accomplishment of this wickedness were, however, left mainly to the subtleties of Sauron. 

In that case the conception in mind of the Orcs may go far back into the night of Melkor’s thought, though the beginning of their actual breeding must await the awakening of Men. When Melkor was made captive, Sauron escaped and lay hid in Middle-earth; and it can in this way be understood how the breeding of the Orcs (no doubt already begun) went on with increasing speed during the age when the Noldor dwelt in Aman;“ 

Morgoth had the idea, and entrusted Sauron with overseeing the breeding of the next generations of Orcs: who reproduce sexually like all “incarnated creatures” in the legendarium; so the "Orc baby" from “Rings of Power” is very much lore accurate:

However, what kind of dark sorcery, twisted sex magic Sauron used to breed more Orcs out of the first Elves corrupted by Morgoth remains a mystery. “Rings of Power” tried to answer this enigma by creating a “father” to the Orcs (Adar) to whom Sauron “gave children”, but this created more weird questions than actual answers. 

Core Themes

The core themes of Tolkien legendarium are: the Fall [of Adam and Eve; of Men], Mortality/Immortality (Death), Machine (magic), and God, from which the others branch: like Free-will, and God’s authority (theological).

Anyway all this stuff* is mainly concerned with Fall, Mortality, and the Machine. With Fall inevitably, and that motive occurs in several modes. With Mortality, especially as it affects art and the creative (or as I should say, sub-creative) desire which seems to have no biological function, and to be apart from the satisfactions of plain ordinary biological life, with which, in our world, it is indeed usually at strife. This desire is at once wedded to a passionate love of the real primary world, and hence filled with the sense of mortality, and yet unsatisfied by it. It has various opportunities of 'Fall'. It may become possessive, clinging to the things made as 'its own', the sub-creator wishes to be the Lord and God of his private creation. He will rebel against the laws of the Creator – especially against mortality. Both of these (alone or together) will lead to the desire for Power, for making the will more quickly effective, – and so to the Machine (or Magic). Tolkien Letter 131

Side note: Tolkien uses the word “stuff” as in its oldest meaning. Probably meant to signify “literature” or “literary work” (meaning from the 1500s). 

Tolkien tells us that “The Fall” [of Adam and Eve], mortality and the machine (“magic” = "power") are connected in his legendarium, as he explains on his letter. In short, it's the lust [The Fall] to "cheat death" [Mortality] that leads his characters to chase power [the Machine], and in doing so, they are rebeling against Eru Ilúvatar (God).

The Elves cheating death by the means of the rings of power: these rings allowed them to stay on Middle-earth instead of returning to Valinor like they were meant to

In "The Lord of the Rings" the conflict is not basically about 'freedom', though that is naturally involved. It is about God, and His sole right to divine honour. The Eldar and the Númenóreans believed in The One, the true God, and held worship of any other person an abomination. Tolkien Letter 183

Rebellion against God's divine honour: folly and blasphemy

Power as a means to immortality

The Fall or corruption; every being (Maiar, Elves, Dwarves and Men) are susceptible to it, due to their own Free will (choice).

I plan on doing a series of posts exploring each one of these themes, separately.

[kruven]

— Nothing much scares Ace, but in front of your love, he turns into a coward. (Gn reader, 2nd pov)

words : 211

warnings : its kinda angst, i was thinking of marineford events and what he would be thinking about the reader that time

a/n : i wrote this in an hour last night between 1 and 2 and in the morning I was going to write more but then I was like, fuck it. I'm posting it as it is.

There aren't many things in this world that can scare the Fire Fist Ace, the former captain of Spade Pirates, the rookie who rejected the offer of becoming one of the seven warlords, the same rookie who fought a warlord for five days straight on an equal footing resulting in a draw, who is now the second division commander of the Whitebeard Pirates.

There really isn't much that can scare him.

But you do.

You scare him.

Your love scares him, the intensity you pour into every touch, every glance, and every smile. It scares him.

The sincerity of your love scares him.

But, like a moth to flame, he is attracted to your light.

You love him, and it scares him.

He is a coward in front of love.

You love him, unconditionally, without wavering, without questioning.

You love him fiercely, completely.

You make him numb. You paralyze him with your sheer ever present love. Even when he isn't with you, when he couldn't sleep, the night would bring memories of you. You burn him hotter than he can burn his fire.

Fire Fist Ace is a strong man capable of destroying marine warships. He has many feats to his name.

Fire Fist Ace is also a coward in love.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[animefeminist]

Chatty AF 211: Revolutionary Girl Utena Watchalong – Episodes 28-34

Things are heating up, both narratively and literally, as Vrai, Cy, and Chiaki return to peak trauma with Part 4 of our Revolutionary Girl Utena retrospective!

Episode Information

Date Recorded: June 30th, 2024 Hosts: Vrai, Cy, Chiaki

Episode Breakdown

0:00:00 Intros 0:01:51 State of the retrospective 0:03:58 Initial impressions 0:05:05 Juri 0:13:25 Akio 0:15:30 What is Touga doing? 0:20:41 Nanami 0:25:36 Episode 33 0:37:43 Anthy and Akio 0:44:17 Prejudice, exoticism, and Anthy 0:55:18 Utena’s memory 1:04:24 Outros

Further Reading

Empty Movement

Series Content Warnings List (with spoilers)

Vrai’s Utena Episode Analyses (with spoilers)

Dear Brother Watchalong

[elsaellaelys]

We can beat any shit together

summary: JJ finds scars on Y/N's thight and they don't look like an acidente.

pairing: JJ Maybank x fem!depressed reader

WARNINGS: Depression, anxiety, mensions of SH, kinda angst, but comforting.

800 words

a/n: I had to write about this. If you're going through something like that, look for help, someone you can trust, if you don't anybody call 211 or feel free to send a message. I wish somebody had told me this so I'll tell you. You are not alone.

--★--

JJ knows Y/N for as long as he can remember himself. Sweet John B's neighboor, living just down the road, joing all the times Big John took them to go fishing. He really liked her, the way she never judge him, always so kind and gentle, than he decided to take the self obligation to protect she no matter what - she looked like such a cute china doll and he wouldn't let she break. The pogues made fun of his behavior. Gotta pick her up from work! Gotta drop her at work! Save this for Y/N! No pickles, Y/N doesn't like it. He had to repay all the love she gave him, the love she made he feel. She barely realised it though, walking around with JJ just in front clearing her way, making sure there was no thorns.

That's why the discovery stabbed him right in the chest.

They were all on the beach, had just left the water to lay in the sand. Y/N stretched out, not really caring about putting a towel under, dead tired from the surfing. JJ watched she lay like a star, he couldn't help but stare at her, of course he had seem her in a bikini thousands of times, lately it's being different, hips wider, waist defined, boobs hanging in her top and thights... looking like they're melting?

"What's this?" He lean over, running his finger over the strange blur, skin color staying in his fingertip. She recoiled from his touch trying to hide the marks that appeared, eyes starting to water.

"Y/N?!"

She squirmed, hating to have the attention of the entire group now.

"It's just a little bit of foundation" she replies.

"Why you're putting makeup on your thights?" Kiara asks, face looking scared of the answer. Y/N wiped her leg, deep dark scars full on display.

JJ fliched, they were so deep, almost screaming sadness and pain. A nott formed on his throat just thinking about how much it must have hurt, how grotesque it looked. He looked back to her face, not finding the strength she must have to do something so... I mean she wasn't just cutting, that was mutilating.

"Fuck" She cried, she ruined the moment, it was a nice day, it felt okay, especially after she putted the right green concealer, the scars almost fading under it. The thought of the washing water faded from her mind.

"Tell me it was an acident, please."

"Does it look like one?" Y/N replied.

She wished they had caved the enourmous hole JJ suggest cause now she could bury herself on it. Pope's face looked full of pity like Kiara, John B. was confused - she made it herself? - but JJ, he was hurted, and she lightly pinched her arm for causing it.

"I'm sorry. I wanna go home." the girl said, grabbing her stuff, heading to the Twinkie. JJ followed her, trying to take her bag to care it.

"Wait." he begged, not really reaching her steps.

"No! JJ! Stop! Leave me, I just wanna go home"

"Give me the bag. Let me help you"

"You can't help me!"

It was not about the bag. She stopped, she fell, holding her knees close to her chest, crying the heart out. Lucky no one was around. JJ lowered next, stroking her hair.

"It's okay" he whispered.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she repeated over and over.

"Hey, no, don't be. I am the one who should be sorry. Look at me." his hands reached her face to pull it up seeing her wet lashes. "Sorry I didn't realized before" he begged again, because the memories just hitted him. The way she was always complainnig about the fights her parents were having, but still refused to leave the house, how she was tired all the time, even though she just woke up. Too many alcohol, to many cigarettes, less hangouts, less calls, less partys, much thoughts, much silence.

He fastly wiped the tears down his face holping she didn't noticed, just hugged she tightly.

The pogues approxed and they were hugging she too, whispering sweet nothings. Sweet everythings.

John B. was the first to get up holding his hand out for her.

"Let's go home." he says. They all know where is home.

In the ride JJ made sure he held she close, hand on her pulse, time in time putting his nose between her hair, just to know she's there, safe, with him.

"Can I ask you..." he carefully began "Where is the thing... you used?"

"In my bag, the little left pocket."

JJ almost cried again, for knowing that she cared it around, like a thing she needed close. He found it, trew it out tge window.

"You're going to be fine." he reasured "I'm right here. We can beat any shit together."

[mysteriousmaninthesmoke]

UNDEAD UNLUCK UNDAY CHAPTER 211

Soooo there has been complications for thia small arc but hey what Unchaste going to do. All they got to do is to stop a mad mob of normal people. None of them are going to be affected.

Also side note I love this refrence to the light novel and the sleep over they had in loop 100. Also BUNNY!!! SHE LOOKS SO CUTE!!!

like Fuuko agrees with me. She specifically picked this group not for their good looks but relationship status, with Tella being the sign when Unchaste actives. Plus she only one person. How could she win? What could go wro-

HOLY SH*T UNCHASTE IS ALREADY ACTIVE!!! it's fine its fine the team is will be ready to save-

WAIT WHAT!?!? I THOUGHT YOU IDIOTS WERE LOYAL TO YOUR WIVES!?!? DON'T TRY TO KILL HER!!!

WTF!!! Their not trying to kill her!? Their working for her!?

Oh, so this is Soul twinks fault. I never would have thought of Kurusu of all people as a negator to use against union. Is weird that I kinda hate that he changed her? Why am I caring for Kurusu.

Like what did you do Soul? Why is she suddenly so frightening and hateful? Also, what does she mean she lost. She is the one winning life from the looks of it. Also, what does she mean she now has it. Because I don't think it's the understanding of her audience like Kaede.

Oh Wait someone's dropping in. Wait why are their two Move portals-

HOLY SH*T ITS BILLY'S WIFE AND KID!!! Also hi Latla. Wait how did you convince Move to-

oh that makes sense.

Aelp Fuuko arrives on the scene, already having an understanding on the new Unchaste. Rewriting the victim's memories to make Kurusu the love interest.

Also can we talk about how Billy got married to another mercenary he met on the battlefield. And also

His daughter. She is still as sick as before and it's been like a few years now. She is totally Unhealthy.

So it seems the whole time Soul's plan is to make Fuuko's father fall in love with Kurusu instead of her mother. But remember what little kid Fuuko said.

I think soul might unintentionally got the two hitched.

Anyway Kaede hope are not dashed. Hell she looks pumped. She truly is Fuuko mother.

Also HOLY SH*T DUDE HOW IS THAT MAN AND SEAN ALIVE IN THAT ROOM!?!? Anyway.

LET'S TAKE CENTER STAGE AND SEE IF TRUE LOVE CAN PREVAIL!!!

[pokemonfrommemory]

Angry pufferfish

[a-d-nox]

HElloo

Part three of which asteroids i like to check in a solar return chart and why, please?

👣

asteroids i like to check in solar return charts and why (part 3: asteroids that aren't getting more attention than this edition)

:) hello, manon, it only seemed fun and fair to mix this request with a request you made about a year ago that became a series! TIME TO BLEND IT ALL TOGETHER!

paid reading options: astrology menu & cartomancy menu

enjoy my work? help me continue creating by tipping on ko-fi or paypal. your support keeps the magic alive!

armstrong (6469): where your physical efforts are rewarded with monetary and mental gains.

bella (695): where you are the most beautiful AND/OR where you find / are surrounded by beauty.

beowulf (38086): where you are heroic/humble/strong AND/OR where you attract glory.

cancelli (5842): where you need care AND/OR where you need to care for others.

chekhov (2369): where you wish for simple life but experience drama.

cheshirecat (6042): where you make false assumptions AND/OR where you frustrate those around you.

constantia (315): where you need routine.

cucula (2731): where you make a lot of the same mistakes.

educatio (2440): where you appear to be the most knowledgeable.

eureka (5261): where you make a life altering discovery.

fay (4820): the possibility for air travel this year.

hehe (200002): where/how you can find harmony in your life.

isolda (211): where you may have an identity crisis AND/OR where you are hopelessly obsessed with others (sign can indicate who).

jubilatrix (652): where you make light of life when all seems hopeless.

kafka (3412): where you doubt yourself AND/OR your anxiety/dread about life.

karma (3811): where you should pay it forward to gain maximum benefits.

lova (868): where you experience devotion AND/OR where you could meet your next romantic partner.

madhatter (6735): where you tend to drive people away AND/OR where you are constantly worried or stressed to the point of madness.

nostalgia (3162): where you may have some deja vú or past memories arise.

ortrud (551): where you are wrong about everything.

ovidius (2800): where you inspire others but are isolated from them as well.

plato (5451): where your beliefs rule your reality.

santa (1288): where you experience child-like joy AND/OR where you need to remember how lucky you are as well as where to remain grateful for what you have.

tardis (3325): where you have the opportunity to go anywhere.

whiterabbit (17942): where you are constantly late or anxious, where you pique others' curiosity, AND/OR where you should follow a sign to discover an extraordinary opportunity.

please let me know if you’d like to see a part 4! have ideas for new content? please use my “suggest a post topic” button!

return to nox's guide to metaphysics

return to the masterlist of asteroids that aren't getting more attention than this

return to the masterlist of return charts

© a-d-nox 2023 all rights reserved

[bethanyactually]

I have my asks turned off due to spam, so @mastress was kind enough to pass along this message from my Secret Sleuth:

hi bethany, it's me, your secret sleuth again. i hope that you're doing well and enjoying the holiday season! i was wondering what some of your favorite drew crew moments are?

Hi Secret Sleuth!

Some of my favorite Drew Crew moments are:

the scene of everyone comforting Nancy at the end of 110

the re-enactment of the night of Tiffany’s murder in 114

the fireside ritual in 117

the Claw scene at the end of 118

the scene of everyone and the lamia at the Drew house near the start of 206

them all waking up with no memories in 211

everyone rallying around Nancy in 218, especially everyone sitting on the floor at Stonerock Manor

the opening scene of them ambushing Connor at the morgue in 302

“Murder room for the win” scene in 311

any of the Crew scenes in 405

basically all of 407 😁

and of course the final Claw scene in 413

Those are just the ones that come to mind, and I don’t dislike the ones I didn’t specifically mention! Hope you’re having a good holiday season so far. I’m excited to see what you make! 💛

@secretsleuthexchange

[blackstarchanx3new]

LOZ Four Swords Returns AU Masterpost

Crossing my fingers and hoping this works.

Four Heroes Return 1

Pages 1-6

Pages 7-14

Pages 15-20

Back Home 2

Pages 21-24

Pages 25-28

Pages 29-32

A "Walk" 3

Pages 33-36

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Library 4

Pages 58-62

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A Promise 5

Pages 82-84

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Memory Lane 6

Pages 109-111

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Pages 125-128

A Hero Playing a Villain 7

Pages 129-131

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Dark Mirror's shards 8

Pages 178-182

Pages 183-186

Pages 187-191

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Triforce of Power 9

Pages 197-200

Page 201-205

Pages 206-210

Uncontrollable Curse 10

Pages 211-214

Pages 215-218

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Unfinished Business 11

Pages 245-250

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Home again 12

Pages 339-342

Pages 343-347

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Pages 356-360

Darkness and Vaati 13

Pages 361-363

Pages 364-366

Pages 367-370

A Waking Nightmare 14

Pages 371-375

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Pages 409-411

[cosmicjoke]

Alright, so, chapter 211 of "Vinland Saga", and what I most feared would happen seems to be coming to pass.

I felt like the last, several chapters were building toward a serious rift developing between Thorfinn and Einar, with Einar's increasing anger and distress over Thorfinn's leadership decisions, and his seeming willingness to give up all they worked to attain, and we finally see that rift manifest, with Einar's refusal to retreat and his declaration that he'll fight to protect the village and the land they've cultivated, despite the Nords being outnumberd 3 to 1. That he rallies every other man in the village around him, bar a few, seems to seal the deal that this is the route that's being taken.

We don't yet know what's become of Thorfinn and Hild, but assuming they make it back to the village, I feel like Thorfinn's seemingly fatally wounded condition will only spur Einar on further toward wanting to take this course, and from there, I honestly don't see how his and Thorfinn's friendship can be salvaged.

This truly is the culmination of the tragic reality of war, I think, and a demonstration of the ways in which war destroys so many things, including the bonds we have with other people. And it also demonstrates, assuming Thorfinn's and Einar's friendship is irrevocably destroyed by this, the price Thorfinn has paid for his pacifism and refusal to fight. Einar's just fully turned on Thorfinn's philosophy and way of living here. They've come to an ideological impasse.

We also see that demonstrated in Bug-Eye's and Nisqua's seemingly doomed love, with her saying the Lun must not enter the land of the Nords, unable to follow him home. War tears people apart, and we're seeing that play out in very literal terms here.

I also see the idiot Ivar hasn't learned anything from getting his hand chopped off. It's a sad state of affairs to see Einar side with him, but maybe the most tragic thing about this is, Einar's stance and betrayal of Thorfinn's pacifism is completely understandable, given his history, even though he's wrong, given the fact he's lost his home again and again due to it being taken from him by force. It shows how people become radicalized. Einar and all of the people of the village gave up a lot, and worked incredibly hard to create their village and cultivate the land, to create a home for themselves. The Nords came to Vinland hoping to live in peace and without war, but circumstances and, sadly, just human nature conspired to destroy it all. Einar's unwillingness to just give it up and walk away is all too human and relatable. The fact he takes the bust of Arnheid and plants it in the ground, seeming to use her memory as motivation to fight, also shows one of the great tragedies of this situation. Arnheid died because of war, because of the devastation and consequences of war, and all that comes with it, and now, in his rage and anger at the situation, Einar is apparently twisting her memory to justify his refusal to yield. What happened to Arnheid always threatened to awaken in Einar this sort of vengeful rage at the injustice of the world, because of course what happened to her was totally unjust, and he understandably sees their situation now as unjust as well, likely equating fighting back against the Lnu somehow as fighting back against what happened to Arnheid. He can't bear to just let it pass anymore.

I really am interested to see how this impact and affects his relationship with Thorfinn. I think, if the story approaches it from a realistic perspective, this might be the beginning of the end of their friendship. And there's something uniquely tragic about that, since Einar is the first person to ever give Thorfinn a sense of purpose outside his own quest for revenge against Askeladd, that helped him develop into the pacifist philosophy that's dictated the last, several years of his life.

Awesome chapter, and it sets up such high stakes. Let's hope the next, few chapters live up to it.