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thefudge · 5 years ago

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any trash songs that are dear to you, dr. fudge? especially that go well with trashy ships hehe

sorry for replying eons later

well, this question has the power to truly Expose™ me on the first day of Christmas, but… here goes nothing

i think ppl expect me to respond with something like “tear you apart” from she wants revenge, which is a great song! but i’m afraid i’m going to have to take you back to the ye olde days and show you what really embarrassing, early ‘00s trash sounded like.

first, a few concessions:

trash by suede and poison by alice cooper are 80s/90s classics of the “you’re bad for me but i can’t help it” dynamic. but they’re too classy for this list. there’s not gonna be any Divine on this list, no 80s late-disco jams, no “west end girls” by pet shop boys, no britney doing “toxic” or “momma i’m in love with a criminal”, no christina aguilera wrestling in the mud while singing about being “dirty”, no baz luhrmann-esque “lady marmalade”. that’s all great. it’s just not this list.

you also won’t find any my chemical romance, panic at the disco, evanescence, papa roach, marilyn manson etc. because they weren’t part of my trash experience. i mean they were there in the background, i was aware of them (and who hasn’t watched edits with “bring me to life”? don’t lie…)… and they’re kind of similar to what i have here, but they weren’t the trash i was particularly attuned to (plus, manson can choke).

some other exclusions: i remember the original p&p edits back in 2005 had all of these “cuz there’s you and me and all other people” songs that were really wonderful, cheesy, shippy songs. but that’s…not this list (although that would make a great list too! remind me to do that one too!)

i once got a message about how “mr. brightside” by the killers would make a great song for a bonkai edit, and…i like the killers just fine, and that’s a great song, but…no. this list ain’t that.

the trash here is not trash on purpose, it’s not tongue-in-cheek, it’s not a “steamy hot mess”, it’s just…really bad and angsty and earnest and totally committed to the “no one understands me (but you)” vibe that a lot of early ‘00s trash ships fostered.

okay…let’s…shame…me…:

1. cold by crossfade - back in the late ‘00s, you couldn’t find an anime AMV that didn’t have this song in the background, ESPECIALLY if your male character was a murderous, brooding (secretly soft) boi who disdained the female sex because “feelings are weakness” or something. it was baaaad, but it’s a nostalgic fave. the whole song is basically about how that arrogant, cold guy who’s shunned you and treated you badly was secretly into you all this time. yeaahhhh. (i remember this song was also popular with m/m ships because you had that classic dynamic where one of the guys was still in denial about his “gay” feelings. god i miss 2006.)

2. vermilion pt. 2 by slipknot - another 2005/2006 era song that capitalizes on the bad guy/good girl trope where she’s too “good” for the brooding antihero, but he can’t help but ruin her. or something. it’s soooo angsty. it has the great, eerie feeling of a doomed romance which was also definitely written by teenagers. i love it.

3. i hate everything about you by three days grace - obviously, you can’t leave out the big dick energy song.

4. anything by nine inch nails’ 2000-2010 period, but especially “fragile” and “we’re in this together now”, because they’re very much trashy power couple aesthetics, but also aaaaangsssst. “fragile” always cracks me up because it’s basically that one direction song about how the girl doesn’t know she’s beautiful, except it’s alternative rock and trent reznor is screaming about how he has to save this beautiful, pure soul from the corruption of the world. (for anyone expecting “closer”, that’s a great song…but i said real, embarrassing trash).

5. vampire heart by HIM - because OF COURSE. 2006 me was LIVING for Vampire Hunter D AMVs. that iconic line “love me like you love the sun” POETRY OKAY. another fave line has to be “you can’t escape the wrath of my heart”….like, whew, what a badass.

6. hate me by blue october - AAAANGST. aaaaaaaaaangst. maybe the apogee of late ‘00s cheesy alternative rock. but probably not. there’s always one that goes harder. this list, unfortunately, is 90% this genre because they really SLAPPED when you put them together with trashy ships okayyyyy there was an innocence and earnestness that the ‘post-9/11 iraq invasion’ atmosphere really captured.

7. let me go by 3 doors down - see, i was wrong, THIS is the apogee. “you love meeeee, but you don’t know who i aaaaaam” belts the lead singer of this oft-forgotten band aaaaand 15-year old me screamed yaaaaaaaaas

8. pieces by sum 41 - WRONG AGAIN. IT’S THIS ONE. the anime AMVs…my god….i can even tell you, beat by beat where the angsty edits happened depending on the breaks in the song.

9. sour girl by stone temple pilots - “bad” boy waxing about how he’s ruined a good girl? check. super Extra lyrics that go “what would you do? what would you do if i followed you?” check. sarah michelle gellar/buffy being a dark goth muse for the tormented bad boy? triple check!!

10. hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me by U2 - i meaaaaaaan. it’s in the title. 10-year old me WAS LIVING. this is THE batman song, and if there’s a god, it will be featured in the upcoming robert pattinson movie. ppl wanna say this song is more of the “trash on purpose” variety, but i don’t think so. i think joel schumacher plays this dead straight (and “batman forever”, while being one of the cheesiest movies ever made, takes itself extremely serious).

11. insatiable by darren hayes - finally breaking away from the alt rock scene a bit for this one. ppl who are now trying to make this song “respectable” and classify it as sweet 00s nostalgia are WRONG. everything about this song is convoluted and overly wrought and pitch perfect, even the fact that you would never believe that this waspy blond dude in the music video has anything to do with the actual song.

12. behind blue eyes by limp bizkit - don’t look at meeeee. this is basically a meme song. the band itself turned out to be dumpster fire and fred durst is…blehh. but this song stiiiiiill slaps, i have the courage to say it. the video definitely helps, i mean u got that trashy dynamic of prisoner/guardian @___@ and halle berry @___@. half-naked fred durst kinda ruins it, but it’s still got its charm.

13. i have to include some linkin’ park songs here at the end and i’m choosing the ones that were trashiest to me and that’s gotta be “one step closer” and “somewhere i belong” because they were always juxtaposed with villain/heroine ships in edits, and i remember fanfic authors would use them in songfics. “in the end” and “numb” are waaaayyy too classy.

additional “kinda too good for this list” rec: the entire Queen of the Damned soundtrack, but especially “slept so long”, “system” and “before i’m dead” and really ALL the songs.

this disaster list could definitely go on (i’m sure u guys can pitch in. and hey, i might be persuaded to do part 2) but imma stop here before i lose my last shred of credibility on this website lol. k byeeeeeee

#replies #trash #trash ethos #music #long ask #trash ships #my two cents

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jamfingers · 7 years ago

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Lol with TVD/Plecverse I always wanna be that meme where it's like "just say you hate n*ggers and go" bc that is essentially what it conveys without saying as much and it makes me morbidly angry that one of my all time fave ships came from such racist filth.

Honestly, if you switched Michael and Zach's roles, I really don't think Tyler would have been sidelined like that. And the only reason Matt was sidelined is bc TVD sucks at portraying nuance; like the way they showed Matt being angry and railing against the supernatural and struggling with juggling his love for his friends with his obvious dislike of what they are falls flat bc the show is so bad at following through, staying consistent, and delivering consequences. Matt should have NEVER forgiven Damon for Vicki, his sister was turned, killed, and essentially buried in ditch and most ppl in his place would be fucking over the guilty party every chance they got. I certainly would if what happened to Vicki happened to my sister. Even if I had to work with said guilty party for whatever reason, I would've turned on them first chance I got and THAT is how Matt/Damon should have been done.

But if Zach played Tyler? How much werewolf mythos would we have gotten on TVD? Would Forwood (which was a pretty decent Caro-ship in and of itself) have been so disrespected to prop Kl*roline? And like from what I can tell, wolves on TO essentially have Native American history and seeing that explored/sympathized with from Tyler's privileged perspective and how much he changed from a douche to a decent person would have been gorgeous. How much more would the witch story lines be explored if we had an actress who looked like book!Bonnie? Would we have had B*mon or Bonkai like...?

So much of why TVD ended up sucking is bc it never really did world-building right. And a lot of that happened bc you're totally right, they tossed out the POC characters for the white characters and the white ships, and it made the show so bland. Storylines were limited bc all the focus was on vamps and then in later seasons when they tried to branch out with the monsters, it was obvious they weren't trying. So not only was it not ethnically diverse, it wasn't freaking plot diverse enough to stay interesting.

Why I’m Not Big On Klaroline

You know I realized the reason why I really don’t like Klaroline us not really due to the pairing itself. I have no moral qualms with the abuse of it because it’s literally impossible with any TVD ship and I really don’t like the idea of quantifying abuse. If I hate one ship due to abuse I have to hate them all including my favorite ship, Bonkai, because abuse is abuse, plain and simple it’s terrible in every form and saying one is worse than the other does nothing more than trivialize serious matters because it wasn’t as bad. It’s unfortunate that certain things have to be overlooked, but I do feel that it works better in Kai and Klaus’ case due to their roles as antagonists however I still don’t consider them excuses.

The reason I don’t like Klaroline is because I now can’t help but think about the role they play in the oppression of Tyler and Bonnie. I used to like Klaroline, hell I even used to like Delena (but that got ruined for a whole slew of other reasons that didn’t even require deeper thought) because I used to be a very casual viewer of TVD, it wasn’t really a show I took that seriously so I pretty much took what ever the spoon fed me until season 5 when as a casual viewer I couldn’t even stomach it and had to stop watching. To this day I still haven’t seen the entirety of that season. But back to my point, now I really don’t like Klaroline because I can’t separate the reason why it’s there to begin with and the characters it screwed over with it’s existence.

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#anti tvd #anti plec

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