#member of immortal damnation

[thelowestorder]

Purtenance - Black Vision

[festering-remains]

Purtenance - "The Lost Memories" from Member of Immortal Damnation (1992)

"Mortal sinks into deep dream Before the final moment of time There will be no second time, no more second chance to live right"

[byuntrash101]

ateez masterlist

disclaimer: everything is smut, mdni. everything is idol x fem!reader

📖 31 fics and counting...

✲ multiple members

first flight to hongkong | 18.3k — idol!au, dom ot8!ateez

yes, you're suprised when your company offers you a vacant spot in the vip crew. but "surprised" doesn't cut it when you discover what kind of service your company provides the vips

the 9th member | 11.8k — idol!au, dom and sub ot8!ateez

what would it be like to be the 9th member of ateez, only there to satisfy the urges of the others?

realistic sex with ateez | on going series — headcanons

how each member would actually fuck you

seonghwa▪︎mingi▪︎yunho▪︎wooyoung▪︎san...tba

sharing is caring? | 5.2k — idol!au, simp!mingi & possessive bf!hongjoong

of course hongjoong cares about his friends but when mingi gets too close to his girl it’s time to remind him sharing is not always caring.

the good friend | 3.4k — idol!au, simp!mingi & bf!san

san has known about mingi’s crush on his girlfriend for a while now. he also happens to be a very good and caring friend who values their friendship very much. and san would do just about anything to help a friend

the better friend | 7.3k — idol!au, simp!mingi & bf!san

a good friend let's a friend watch. a better a friend let's him join

cheerleader | 1.5k — gentle dom!yunho, dom!mingi, dom!san, mean dom!hwa

the boys always like to celebrate victory with their biggest cheerleader after a game

✲ kim hongjoong

bonnie & clyde | 2.5k — dom gang leader!hongjoong ft. ateez

there's something so primal and enticing about your leader taking a life to protect the crew at all costs

drabbles: 1▪︎2

✲ park seonghwa

headache | 1.7k — soft gentle dom!seonghwa

you've been suffering from headaches recently but your boyfriend knows exactly how to get rid of them

damnation of a saint | 13.7k — sin of lust! x nun!reader

life is dull when you are an immortal being such as seonghwa. every day is the same and you live (or rather, merely exist) through the times crushed by the burden of boredom. until something new comes along in the form of a kind, compassionate and righteous newly ordained nun. and so the sin of lust makes it his personal mission to corrupt the purest of souls: yours.

✲ jeong yunho

the drill | 6.8k — nerd dom leaning switch!yunho

yunho cant seem to pick up anyone at the club. for two main reasons, two problems if you will. the first one: his rizz level is negative and the second one... well it's bigger. much, much bigger. a huge problem wooyoung has named "the drill"

behind the mask | 2.7k — bf!yunho

it's halloween night and your sweet golden retriever boyfriend wants to have a little harmless fun

✲ kang yeosang

daddy's little trooper | 2.4k — sweet loving dom!yeosang

after a torrid night with your boyfriend you wake up hungry for a nutrious breakfast but yeosang is just insatiable

streaming: cloud 9 | 1.7k — streamer!au, hard dom!yeosang

you decide to test your boyfriend's nerves while he's live streaming

pretty in pink | 1k — gentle dom!yeosang

your boyfriend just thinks pink suits you very much and loves to make you blush by all means

✲ choi san

incubus: coming of age | 11.3k — fanstasy!au, dom incubus!san

being in love with your boss, doctor jeong yunho, is a nightmare. unlike this dream you're having right now of him gently kissing you in the middle of the night. but something feels off. doctor jeong doesn't quite sound like himself...

✲ song mingi

still your biggest fan | 2k — established relationship, idol!au

your bf is on the other side of the globe touring. somehow you fear the cheers of the fans will make him forget about you. so you decide to remind him you are still and will always be his biggest fan

partition | 2k — gentle dom husband!mingi ft. jongho

finally back from a long business trip your husband takes you to a very nice date to celebrate. but after so long apart you are not sure you can keep your hands to yourself on your way to the restaurant

skinny dipping | 2.6k — college!au, swim team captain dom!mingi, pinkgi ♡

your boyfriend he is so focussed on training for the upcoming championship he forgot tonight was supposed to be date night but maybe he can make it up to you

facetime | 1.1k — switch!mingi, switch!reader, established relationship

mingi has a small favor to ask you real quick

lovers on the sun | 4.8k — cowboy!mingi, friends to strangers to lovers, outlaw!au

you never understood why mingi chose that life. chose to be an outcast, a loveless bandit. over the years you came to terms with it. you got married, you grew. but when the outlaw finds himself gravely wounded his instincts drag him back to you. to the person he's willing to sacrifice everything for

booksmart | 3.1k — sub leaning!mingi, tutor!reader, uni au

maybe mingi didn’t make the smart choice picking a stem major? because the classes proves themselves to be rather difficult especially when mingi as to learn about the female anatomy without having any “field knowledge” on the subject. but as his tutor it’s your duty to help him study, by all means necessary. 

✲ jung wooyoung

milkshake | 3k — sub business man!woo, trophy wife!reader, office!au

wooyoung needs to impress the ceo and chairman to get the newly open cfo position and for that he's planning to go all out, show off everything he's got. including his precious, stunning and bewitching wife: you.

✲ choi jongho

break up with him | 3.5k — angsty, mean dom!jongho, ft. yunho

jongho is tired to be the bad guy. tired of acting like he doesn't care when you kiss him. tired of lying to his best friend. and he's ready to put everything on the line. he wants you for himself only.

drabbles: 1

[kamiiri]

Count Armando came from nobility, and he made sure everyone knew it. He claimed to be entranced by Virginya’s melodic abilities…so entranced that he made her an offer. He intended to make all of her dreams come true. He promised that she would become the most sought-after pianist in the world. For a price, of course.

She agreed. She would do anything to keep playing for audience after audience. But she quickly—and painfully—learned that Armando planned to share his vampiric curse with her so that she may travel by his side, playing for all eternity.

After the venom spread through her body, she became a ravenous, bloodthirsty creature of the night. Virginya did everything in her power to resist the urge to kill, though at times it was impossible. She survived on the less-than-pleasant blood of humankind’s worst members. But even that made her feel like a monster.

Armando couldn’t understand why Virginya was so shattered by her transformation. He believed immortality to be a precious gift. To her, it was eternal damnation. She swore she would never trust anyone again.

[many-shades-of-violence]

shattered

✢ characters: Donquioxte Rosinante, Donquixote Doflamingo, Trafalgar D. Law, Monkey D. Luffy, Baby 5, Dellinger

✢ word count: 3.200

✢ content: angst, depression, loss of a loved one, trauma-bonding, suggestions of nsfw

✢ a/n: On high request, this is a continuation to Haunted. I´d adivse strongly reading this first before continuing here.

Eighteen years had elapsed since the night you bared your soul to Doflamingo and suffered the heartbreaking loss of Corazon. Time had acted as a balm on some wounds, yet the memory of that fateful night still haunted you. Unable to confess your romantic feelings to Corazon before his untimely demise, the scars of that moment lingered, occasionally throbbing with pain upon remembrance.

The Donquixote Family had undergone significant growth, welcoming numerous new members into its inner circle. Now situated in Dressrosa, a kingdom formerly ruled by King Riku Dole III, Doflamingo had schemed his way to the throne, ushering in a period of turmoil and suffering on the island. The Family's expanding reach within the criminal underworld only solidified its influence.

With the populace under his control and adversaries quelled, Doflamingo ruled Dressrosa with an iron grip, enforcing his will through fear and brutality. Any opposition was swiftly eradicated, and he maintained his dominion through sheer force.

Upon Doflamingo's ascension as one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea, you found yourself at your wit's end. The hope of his downfall seemed nearly extinguished. Yet, you managed to maintain some semblance of stability. In the initial years, you held onto a vague hope, whether sparked by pockets of resistance you observed within the kingdom or a budding generation of pirates and allies poised to challenge him. However, your return to sanity was triggered by the sight of Law's wanted poster in the newspaper.

Seeing the child who had once been promised immortality now grown and healthy ignited a fury within you. Springing from your seat during breakfast, you snatched the newspaper from your hand, hurling it into the nearby fireplace. Doflamingo stormed out of the room, his outbursts no longer fazing you as they once did. You knew he would never dare lay a hand on you; you remained his vulnerability over the years.

It was true that, at some point, you had engaged in physical intimacy with Doflamingo, driven by a need for emotional connection. Though infrequent, those encounters held purpose, as you kept him at arm's length. His sweet yet bitter words never managed to claim your mind entirely. In truth, you cared little for them. Your interactions with Doflamingo were more of a dissociative experience, where you barely registered the present, envisioning the touches as originating from Rosinante instead. You would likely be consigned to damnation for entertaining such thoughts—imagining intimate encounters not only with a deceased man but also in the context of his living sibling. Nevertheless, your life's narrative seemed already mired in damnation, rendering your indifference to the prospect. Instead, you directed your focus with unwavering intensity toward any newspaper article that mentioned Law and his Heart Pirates. Initially in the North Blue, then later in the treacherous waters of the New World, Law and his crew emerged as part of the "Worst Generation," a term Doflamingo had shared from the Warlord meetings.

Uncertain of your expectations, you couldn't deny the glimmer of hope that these articles held. Perhaps deep down, you yearned for salvation through the hands of the Surgeon of Death himself. Given his connection to your fallen kin, Corazon, you harbored a belief in Law's potential allegiance against the Family. Rosinante's sacrifice for Law gave credence to this possibility. The crew's moniker—the Heart Pirates—stood as a testament to Corazon's influence on the young pirate, a fact that Doflamingo himself saw as an indication of Law's intentions to claim the Heart Seat.

However, one fateful day, Doflamingo returned from a Warlord meeting, his fury evident in the pulsing veins on his forehead. Prudence told you to keep your distance during these times, as Baby 5 and Dellinger had learned the hard way. Your attention shifted to the newspaper, and the headline left you practically dumbstruck: "New Warlord appointed: Trafalgar D. Law convinces Marines with 100 stolen pirate hearts."

It took a moment for the significance to sink in. Your hands trembled, and your lips quivered with excitement as realization set in. The pieces fell into place, and the puzzle's image became clear. Your conclusion was confirmed by Diamante and Trebol's conversation, Law had not just reappeared on the scene, he had approached Doflamingo at the Warlord meeting, a reunion laden with hidden implications. The very same implications that Doflamingo's stormy return to the castle corroborated. Law harbored a grudge, and his intent was to settle it.

While you couldn't easily envision anyone easily toppling Doflamingo, except perhaps the Four Emperors, the fact that Law openly alluded to unresolved matters indicated his belief in his capability to inflict damage upon the Family. This conviction was swiftly validated when news reached the Family of the destruction of the SMILE factory on Punk Hazard, the fall of Caesar, and the disintegration of Monet—actions attributed to the wielder of the OP-OP Fruit, none other than Law.

Engaged in the mundane task of tending to palace flora, you suddenly detected a commotion erupting within the castle. It seemed that word had reached Doflamingo, and his fury had propelled him toward Punk Hazard in an attempt to thwart Law. A potent ally in the Straw Hat Pirates had joined Law in his quest, the same crew whose newspaper features you tracked with almost equal fervor to those of the Heart Pirates. An almost involuntary smile graced your lips as you continued your gardening, an unexpected swell of joy coloring your mood—a sensation foreign in its intensity.

As circumstances began to unravel beyond Dressrosa's borders, your newfound elation didn't go unnoticed within the Family, attracting a barrage of disapproving comments and reproachful gazes. Diamante and Trebol appeared particularly hostile towards you. You surmised that Doflamingo's protection was likely the only reason they hadn't already taken action against you. Yet, your precarious game continued, your actions testing Doflamingo's already dwindling patience. The final straw was drawn when news arrived that the Straw Hat Pirates had been spotted along the south coast of Dressrosa.

Caught in a perilous situation, you found yourself pinned against a castle wall by Doflamingo's formidable grip. Your excitement over the news was evident, much to his displeasure. Gazing up at him, you met his menacing glare as he inquired, "Say, do you have a death wish, my sweet y/n?" Despite his efforts to instill fear, the specter of death held little sway over you, having bid it farewell on the day of Rosinante's passing. Struggling for breath, you managed to retort, "You know as well as I do, Doffy, that death would be a kindness."

For a fleeting instant, he merely locked eyes with you, his crimson sunglasses mirroring your breathless reflection mockingly. Then, he released his grip, allowing you to crumple weakly to the cold ground. Gasping for air, your gaze followed the swaying pink feathers of his coat as he turned away. You sensed the waves of his anger, a tempest of bloodlust radiating from his every pore. Yet, despite it all, your voice trembled into the air, "You're done for, Doffy." The words escaped you, a fragile assertion of your conviction.

Doflamingo glanced back over his shoulder, his Emperor's Haki projecting with unwavering strength. The force of it overwhelmed you, darkness consuming your consciousness as you slumped, unconscious, to the floor. With his characteristic strut, Doflamingo left the room, no longer willing to indulge the antics of a caged bird like you.

The die had been cast, your words lingering in the air like an omen of change. The storm on the horizon was both terrifying and exhilarating, and you were ready to weather its consequences, whatever they may be.

Groggily picking yourself up, you tried to grasp how much time had passed since Doflamingo's blow had knocked you unconscious. The situation seemed to have escalated despite his attempts to control it. Pushing aside your weakness, you staggered towards the source of the commotion, only to realize that the castle's throne room had been torn open, revealing a nightmarish scene. Doffy's clone stood guard near the Heart throne, and in the midst of the chaos, a battered Law struggled against his bonds. Fear seized you, and you exclaimed Law's name in terror, your voice trembling.

As you moved closer, your attention was caught by another presence in the room. A young man with jet-black hair—Straw Hat Luffy—stood there, seemingly assessing you with a puzzled expression. You attempted to convey the urgency of the situation, urging him to take down the clone so that you could assist Law. Just as you spoke, the clone turned its attention towards you, unleashing a deadly steel string in your direction. The impact threw you to the ground, unconscious once more, the clone's cold words lingering as darkness enveloped you.

Gradually, your consciousness returned, drawn forth by the sound of your name. Opening your eyes, you winced at the pain in your head, realizing you were bleeding from the impact. A gentle yet firm hand stopped you from touching the wound. Looking up, you met the gaze of none other than Trafalgar Law.

"Law!" Relief and emotion welled up within you as you saw him in the flesh. Despite his own battered state, he was free from the restraints that had bound him to the Heart Throne. His grey eyes met yours, and in that moment, the years that had passed seemed to melt away, revealing the connection you both still held.

For a brief spell, neither of you knew what to say, locked in a gaze that spoke volumes. Then, you sprang up and embraced him tightly. You felt his initial tension give way, and he returned the hug, his grip growing stronger. "I'm so glad you're alive," you whispered, tears streaming down your cheeks. You tried to rein in your emotions, not wanting to overwhelm him, but you couldn't hold back the torrent of feelings that surged within you.

As you moved to pull away, Law's grip tightened, and he held you close. His voice was heavy with emotion as he spoke, his breath catching. "But Cora-San…" His words hung in the air, laden with grief. You understood his pain, the weight of loss he carried.

But you couldn't let him bear it alone. "I know," you said softly, your hand moving to gently stroke the back of his head. "But it wasn't your fault. Rosinante made his own choice. He'd be proud of how far you've come, despite everything. I've read about you in the newspapers. You've carried on despite the baggage, and he would be proud."

For a moment, silence enveloped you both, the comfort you offered each other becoming a lifeline in this tumultuous situation. Just as the quiet settled, another voice shattered the moment, causing you to look up and Law to draw back from the embrace abruptly.

"So, she's your mom or what, Torao?" Straw Hat Luffy pointed at you while addressing Law. "She's not my mother, you idiot! She's way too young for that," Law retorted, smacking the boy on the head. A stifled laugh escaped you at the exchange, and Law looked back at you, his cheeks tinted with a pink hue. He scowled at you. "And you, don't laugh! It only encourages this idiot's behavior. Worst case, he'll come up with a weird nickname for you." You raised an amused eyebrow, finding amusement in the interaction. Raising a hand in apology, you said, "Yeah, yeah. Sorry."

Turning your attention back to Luffy, you continued the conversation. "Since we´re all-in-one piece, I guess you defeated the Clone, Straw Hat. Thank you for that." Luffy brushed off the gratitude, his carefree demeanor intact. "Nah, don't mention it. Besides, Mingo's way stronger, right?" Your eyebrow twitched slightly at the mention of the name "Mingo." Law rolled his eyes, providing the clarification, "Doflamingo." You chuckled at the Straw Hats' peculiar way of naming people, before returning your focus to Luffy's iconic hat.

Continuing on, you offered your insights to their plan. "Listen, I don't know what your plan is, but if you truly want to take down Doflamingo, you'll need a solid strategy." Law acknowledged your point, but before he could respond, you added your offer. "Let me help you. I might not have much combat experience, and I doubt I'd be much help in a direct confrontation, but I know the intricacies of this family better than anyone else. If I can provide even a small advantage, I'm willing to do so—even if it could lead to my own demise." Your determination shone through your unwavering gaze, despite Law's attempts to dissuade you from sacrificing yourself so readily.

Luffy jumped into the conversation once more, his irreverence undeniable. "Great, so where do we find Mingo, Torao's Mom?" His grin was infectious, and you found yourself grinning back at the ridiculousness of it all. Law's hiss to stop calling you his "Mom" only added to the humor. In the midst of this bizarre exchange, you recognized the necessity of a bit of absurdity to counteract the gravity of Doflamingo's actions. You were more than willing to stand alongside Law and the Straw Hat crew in whatever capacity was needed to finally end the misery that Doflamingo had wrought upon all of your lives.

The alliance between the Straw Hat Pirates and Law's Heart Pirates was a testament to the shifting tides of the world. Their combined efforts had successfully infiltrated Dressrosa, challenging Doflamingo's tyrannical rule. The battle had been intense, the stakes incredibly high, and every step you took seemed to awaken memories of a painful past.

Finally, the climactic moment arrived—the confrontation between Luffy and Doflamingo. The clash of their wills reverberated across the island, the battle revealing the cracks in Doflamingo's once unshakeable confidence. His grasp on power was slipping as the united forces stood resolute in their determination to bring him down.

Amidst the chaos, you found yourself face to face with Law once again. Despite the evident toll the battle had taken on him, he stood strong, a testament to his resilience. The weight of the moment hung heavily in the air, unspoken words exchanged between you. The intertwining of past memories and present struggles brought a profound sense of realization—that this was the culmination of years of pain, hope, and strength.

The final blow struck, and Doflamingo's reign of terror came crashing down. The liberation of Dressrosa wasn't just a victory for the island; it was a triumph for everyone who had suffered under his rule. With the fall of the Donquixote Family, the path to healing and rebuilding had opened.

Standing on the harbor of Dressrosa as the Straw Hat Pirates prepared to depart, you were interrupted by Law's voice.

"So, what plans do you have moving forward? With Doflamingo and the Family out of the picture…" Your attention perked up as Law's words reached you, surprised that he was considering your future. "Law," you whispered, your eyes filled with surprise, before shaking off the thought. "Well, I suppose I'll find a place to settle down, far from here, in one of the Blues. This island holds too many painful memories. And since I can't deny being somewhat complicit with the Family's actions, if not very passive, I doubt the townsfolk would welcome me either. But please, don't concern yourself with that. I'll carry you in my thoughts, wherever I go."

You nodded, hoping the subject was now closed. To your astonishment, Law responded with a hint of abruptness, concealing his eyes beneath his hat. "Or, you could join my crew. My mechanic has been pestering me about adding another female member." Caught off guard, you instinctively raised your hands to decline his offer. "Oh no, that's your journey. I wouldn't want to intrude."

"And what if I insist?" Law's eyebrows knitted as he gazed at the ground, before locking his steel-gray eyes onto yours. "You cherished Cora-san just as much as I did, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but I never confessed it to him," you admitted, your throat tightening as you turned away slightly.

"Which is all the more reason to come with me. I know it might not be the ideal solution, but it's a way to honor him," Law persisted.

"What do you mean?" you looked up, puzzled.

"We are the Heart Pirates for a reason. Everything I do, all of this, it's in Cora-san's name," he gestured toward the island and then to the Jolly Roger tattoed on his chest.

Your breath caught as you hesitated. Law seemed to sense your internal struggle, adding curtly, "At the very least, consider it for my sake."

With widened eyes, you studied Law's form, his unexpected plea evoking memories of the once-frightened child with terror in his eyes. He had already forged his path in a merciless world where adults had turned a blind eye. Had Rosinante seen the same in him, as you did right now? If so, then it all fell into place now.

You swallowed hard before stepping forward and enveloping Law in a tight embrace. He seemed momentarily surprised, but soon returned the gesture. As you released him, his uncertain gaze met yours, as you replied with a teary smile on your lips.

"Count me in, Captain."

[sasquach-scratches]

Xochitl

Alias: Hates-White-Rats

She/Her Argonian 16 (Planemeld Arc), 23 (Current)

Citizenship: Ebonheart Pact Titles: The Vestige, Saviour of Nirn, Daedric Lord Slayer, Enemy of Coldharbour, Havocrel Hunter, Witch, Scoundrel, Locksmith, Master Angler, Master Thief, Numinous Shadow, King's Arrow

Class: Nightblade Weapon Skills: Bow, Dual Wield Armor Skills: Medium World Skills: Legerdemain Guild Skills: Thieves Guild Crafting Skills: Alchemy, Woodworking

A Saxhleel of the Black-Tongue tribe of Murkmire. Short-tempered and spiteful, she was quite unlike others of her kind in the region, let alone the often dark and brooding members of her tribe.

Though she was raised in a loving home with kindhearted parents, they were Nisswo, and thus didn't stay in one place for long. It often meant they would leave Black Marsh's borders, and she would experience first-hand how unkind the outside world is to her kind.

Originally meant to be raised a Shadowscale, her premature hatching guaranteed she'd be passed over for healthier candidates. Even still, her parents saw to teaching her the ways of stealth and esoteric conflict-magic. Though her temperament would be at odds with such a skill set, they could tell that sooner or later she would need it.

When she came of age, she set out on her own as her parents finally settled down in Gideon. Though she traveled alongside her foster brother--a Nord boy left an orphan by the Alliance war--he quickly found an opportunity in a land she knew she wouldn't be welcomed in. The moment they parted ways, she began to use the skills her parents taught her in less than savory ways.

Even though she saw great success at first, one night she ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time, and before she knew it she was sacrificed and ended up a Soul Shriven prisoner in Coldharbour.

In what she believed to be a stroke of incredible luck, she found herself in a jailbreak almost immediately after arriving. Soon she was wrapped up in a situation she didn't much care for, with individuals that were strange at best and irritating at worst.

Still, she was saved from eternal damnation in one of the worst possible places to be in, and she was granted resurrective immortality to boot. She could stand to deal with an overbearing white-skin and a ditzy furbag, but what she wasn't pleased with was having to get involved with an alliance that she vehemently opposed.

With the only downside being horrible pain, she began to take more risks and brazenly dealt with perceived injustices in the cruelest way possible, all while ignoring the path she was set on to reclaim her soul and stop the Planemeld.

It didn't take long for the reality of her situation to finally hit her, as did the consequences of her hasty decisions.

One Tamriel

Time passed, and with age came maturity. Though she made many mistakes which ultimately harmed the people she was fighting for, she didn't go through it alone. The bond she shared with her companions remained strong in times strife and peace. Her bitterness remained, but knowing she had support helped her focus her efforts on real change.

Sadly, she had to acknowledge that, as great a force of Needed Change that she was, there were many factors beyond her control that kept her from making the changes she wanted to see. When the time came that her world and the worlds of her two counterparts would finally become one, she accepted the role of the Hero not for the sake of nations and crowns, but for life on all of Nirn.

When those in positions of power regularly betrayed or disappointed her, she saw no reason to play a part in their petty squabbles on the off chance it may help those at the bottom who were suffering. As her trusted friends took on these burdens, she secretly contemplated the teachings of her homeland, finding truth in them after all.

==

Hooo boy so this one took a LONG time to get out there. So long that it at least gave me time to make some changes on the main art (though I still kind of think the sepals on the hydrangeas are too bright green but idk)

Some outfit notes!

Planemeld Arc Armor

So I didn't really go into the reasoning behind the decisions for some of my "main" Heroes in these games even though my Dragonborn has A Lot, but tbh I already struggle with picking what info to drop and what to keep vague/trim down/etc.

All I'll say is that Hates was originally going to be a Magical Girl inspired character (hence her name that got me several...interesting comments in-game lmao). Suffice to say that this character has a lot of my own baggage attached to her, even more so that every other character I've made, which helps that the theme for my 3 ESO characters is "identity"

Anyways, I've Talked on this too long so here take it

[sneakyvulpine]

So I may or may not have become justtt a little entranced with ur oc seph and I want to know more abt thrm.! If ur cool with talking abt them 💖

AHHH TY FOR ASKING ABT HIM! i love my ocs so dearly i love being asked abt them.. … <33

(@birchtreecat notifying you because you asked for lore too)

!! cw for overdosing, suicide, religious trauma+cults, & child abuse+csa !!

note his backstory is still very much a work in progress. when this project actually gets finished his childhood probably wont get touched on too much. im also still doing research on these topics to write them into his story

seph was born to parents in a cult. he grew up in the cult and was subject to abuse in it. im not going to detail things too too much because. yeah.

he was taught to have a devotion to their god (their god had a lot of eyes, thus the eye imagery w him) and anything going against that was punished. this manifested as a fear of eternal damnation and being incredibly obedient to higher ups. he was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused by other adult cult members as a kid. as a child living in a cult, he was taught not to put his needs first.

at some point, seph gets absolutely fed up. not sure how this would work yet since hes in a cult that makes him fear suicide and damnation. perhaps he meets someone from the outside or sees peoples lives on the outside and sees how happy and functional they are idk. but seph decides to overdose. “hell cannot be much worse than living here”

[in my world, instead of gods there are guardians. its still a work in progress but instead of someone representing the domain, they have control over it. these people are mortals given immortality due to having control over a domain. death controls the domain of death and helps people cross smoothly to the other side. its quite a taxing job so death mainly works to recruit people to help people to the other side or help with other hijinks of life and death.]

upon dying, seph meets death. seph is terrified and he attacks death. (i can imagine this scene in my head, sephs wings grow really big and he can shoot pointy feathers from them) death remarks how seph is really strong and recruits seph to help them with regulating the whole life-death-dying thing. death also helps seph calm down from the mass of drugs in his body. over time, seph grows attached to death and he loves them very much

also hes trans. transition as a metaphor for shedding the burdens of the past fuck yeah. leaving a place where your identity and needs are constantly brushed aside and finally getting to indulge your needs and happiness

currently, seph works for death. power scaling wise seph is pretty strong canonically. he handles situations that needs someone powerful. for example, if theres some criminal reviving a ton of people to do their bidding and disturbing their rest after death, seph might go out and defeat that person. however, someone else handles bringing those souls back to the afterlife

[clocktowerechos]

Factions of the Hellsworn Pact

of the Brightest Night AU

"Such a wonderous galaxy. I feel it better for it to be soaked in screams and bathed in blood. Too much? Yes, too much. Let us just burn it to cinders instead~ Then we can bath in screams!" ~ "Blessed" Lady Malys, the Everqueen of Chaos

The Ruinous Powers

With the existence of both the God Emperor and Isha being active players on the galactic stage, the Dark Gods have focused significantly more resources and attention to the material universe. Breaks in their great game are more common and they pour more of their power into their greatest champions. After their failure to corrupt the Primarchs, they have turned to alternative measures. Of particular note is Nurgle and Slaanesh. Nurgle holds a deep grudge against the Alliance and is determined to recapture Isha. Slaanesh however faces an entirely separate dilemma. Wish Isha being able to contest Eldar souls, Slaanesh faces a very real possibility of starvation from said souls, a terrifying concept for a god of excess. Thus they've had to adapt an entirely new way of executing their plans, most often through the Dark Eldar or the Chaos Eldar Their greatest champion is Lady Malys, known as the Everqueen of Chaos, the Black Maiden, and the Fel Lady among other titles. She is the "Abaddon", greatest champion of Chaos. Her blasphemous union to Asdrubael Vect remains the greatest profane ritual since the Birth of Slaanesh. Where as Abaddon has stable plans, Lady Malys swings between bouts of madness and genius brilliance. It is hard for the Alliance to try and counter her as often her Black Crusades simply have the goal of wrecking as much chaos and destruction as possible. As long as they are not stopped at the Cadian Gates, it is considered a success.

The Lost and the Damned / Traitor Astartes

While none of the Primarchs were ever swayed to the side of Chaos, due in part to the more open knowledge of what they really where, and the Horus Hersey never occurring, there was never a corruption of half the legions. However, over the course of the long millennium plenty have fallen to Chaos with its more focused attention. Regiments of Guardsmen, Chapters of Astartes, Maniples of Skitarri, Orders of Sororitas, and even a Custodes according to dark rumors have fallen, to serve new masters. None are truly safe from damnation in this universe. Some are ragtag rebel bands, heretical guerillas who serve whatever master will grant them power and supplies. Others have formed entire stellar kingdoms, organized and coordinated groups who pose a much more significant threat on the Materium than their raiding Warp-borne counterparts.

The Chaos Eldar

Known as the Croneworld Eldar or Shadishari meaning "Warp Corrupted", they are the inheritors of the foul legacy of the old, depraved Eldar Empire. The birth of Slaanesh had devastated them at first, but soon the Dark Gods found ready worshippers among them, their souls blackened and minds twisted by untold eons of degeneracy and blasphemous indulgence. Slaanesh was the first to bring back a handful of corrupted Eldar who had actually enjoyed the process of having their souls devoured, to which the Prince of Pleasure greatly loved. With most of the Croneworlds trapped in the Warp, they are a hellish successor to the worst aspects of the Eldar. Frequently raiding, pillaging, and conquering in the name of the Chaos Gods, they outnumbers their uncorrupted cousins and their greatest members have achieved a level of immortality by having their souls constantly regurgitated. It is said an Shadishari Daemon Prince is amongst the most dangerous forms of one with the Imperium and the Alliance going to great lengths to stop their ascension whenever possible.

The Dark Eldar

Pirates and raiders hailing from the Dark City, many have combined forces with the Croneworld Eldar for their own ends. The greatest difference between them being their relation to Chaos, while the Croneworld actively embrace and wish for the power of the gods to infuse them, the Dark Eldar have little appreciation for the Dark Gods. They do not have the same assurances of being returned after death like their Croneworld cousins but the power their alliance brings is too great to be ignored. In canon, there is sometimes a tenuous understanding between Craftworld and Dark Eldar that they are kin and to not mess with each other too much, such an understanding does not exist here. The Drukhari will happily prey upon Craftworlds and Exodite Worlds as readily as any others and the Craftworlds call for the death of their fallen cousins. It is for this reason the Webway is significantly more dangerous to use as Croneworld and Dark Eldar prowl its tunnels without regard of who might catch their blades. Some have refused to accept the power of Chaos, especially after the marriage of Vect to Malys. They have escaped Commorragh and set up their own kabals and outposts in the Materium.

The Ashen Kyn

The Long Night was not kind to the Kyn and they were not immune to the gaze of the ruinous powers. When some holds and stations were cut off from their fellows, many became desperate. Their Votann became corrupted, either by rampant data overload, or direct techno-arcane sorceries. Bitter and hateful at how they believed themselves to be abandoned by their cousins and by their Votann Cores, they turned to Chaos and found good company with Vashtorr the Arkifane. Now they serve as critical resupply and production points for raiding Chaos fleets, rivalled only by the Hell-Forges of the Dark Mechanicum. They tend to focus on infernal engineering over daemonology, favored by the Dark Mechanicum.

The Dark Mechanicum

While the Hersey was avoided by the Imperium, the Mechanicum could not prevent the Schism of Mars. Fabricator General Kelbor-Hal refused censure by the Imperial Household and cease his delving into forbidden archeo-tech. Even with the intersession of the God Emperor Aurelian, he openly halted but kept going in secret. As he dove deeper and deeper, he became more corrupted by the whispers in his code. Telling him that he could become as powerful as the Man of Gold and then all the secrets of the universe and all the lost technology of Humanity's golden age. When he was discovered once again, Kelbor-Hal declared his intention to break away from the Imperium and called the red banners to arms. However, in his hurry, he failed to adequately access the political reality of the Mechanicum. Only half rallied to him with the other staying loyal. The following Schism broke the Mechanicum with a civil war that the Imperium intervened in. Despite claiming victory, the Imperium could not hunt down the newly forged Dark Mechanicum as in their distracted state, Chaos forces and Greenskin hordes launched the War of the Beast in an attempt to destroy the Imperium, letting the survivors flee into the war and to uncharted systems to rebuild anew. They have become masters of fusing metal and daemon in their terrifying arcane Hell-Forges

The Greenskin Hordes

The Orks are only "allied" to the forces of Chaos in the loosest sense, often being manipulated by the Croneworld Eldar to serve as cannon fodder or distractions. For their part, the Orks do not mind as they see it as an excellent opportunity to fight. Their power has been greatly increased by the appearance of "Brain Boyz" or "Brain Bosses", intelligent Ork warbosses who understand the Orks far more than their brutish nature would imply, their mere present boosting the intelligence and coordination of other Orks. Dubbed "Ork Bossmasters", they turn a fractious, infighting-prone mob into a proper military force capable of complex tactical maneuvers, long term planning, and huge engineering projects such as Attack Moons. Having first arisen during the Chaos-empowered War of the Beast, their numbers have only grown with the passing centuries to the point there is a recorded incident of a "Green Crusade", where an Ork Bossmaster led a combination Black Crusade and WAAAGH with Chaos forces.

[lonecorner]

Whatever you do, don't think about the fact that the Lamb will never harbor any trust towards the members of their cult solely for the fact that anything related to the gods and the occult were the catalyst to the genocide of their entire species and any bond formed during their journey would remain null and void as they are immortal and mortal lives will be nothing but fleeting moments to them.

The closest to a companion they could ever achieve to have would be the Crown, the one thing that represents the power they never wanted and the God of Death that became his only salvation, only to make him face damnation.

[yabancreations]

Consider: TGCF… but metal.

Heavenly Damnation is a metal music modern AU fic series based on the novel Heaven Official's Blessing by MXTX.

Written by: Yabanned. Art by: Tiiracotta.

It counts with a Spotify playlist.

---

Part 1: Withering Lotus

Xie Lian is a talented multi-instrumentalist who had a meteoric rise as a metal star when his band, White Lotus, released their first EP and got the attention of the prestigious label Immortal Records. When he became the youngest artist to sign with them at the age of 17, he felt that he had the world in the palm of his hand. Three years later, though, a song he wrote tore everything down: he lost his contract, his career, his friends and his family. Vetoed and blacklisted, he was forced to live on the move, as far away from the offices of his old record label as possible, picking little odd jobs related to music in order to survive.

After eight years, a bureaucratic nightmare forces Xie Lian to come back to the capital. He tries his best to go unnoticed, yet he receives two unsettling requests upon arrival: a man in red wants his permission to cover a song he wrote, and a man in white wants him to inherit his mask.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42649482

---

Part 2: Rotting Waters

The story of Heavenly Damnation continues!

During the mid-autumn festival, a fateful encounter allowed Hua Cheng to take his all-time idol Xie Lian away from the grasp of Immortal Records —the most important label for rock and metal music in the country— who were trying to coerce him into signing up for a nightmare. Retreating with him and some members of his own band to a vacation home away from the Capital, Hua Cheng now must make the best out of the couple days they’ll spend together to gather what he needs in order to save Xie Lian’s music. The task isn’t easy: Hua Cheng can’t tell Xie Lian about his plans without breaking his trust and scaring him away, there are more interests at play, and back in the Capital, Jun Wu loses no time summoning Feng Xin and Mu Qing, Xie Lian’s former band mates and friends, to set a snare in which he can catch Xie Lian as soon as he returns. Dishonest debts, broken feelings and stolen songs start to surface in the muddled waters.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46928263

[positivlyfocused]

More Proof On The Way To Becoming Super Human

It seems every week at least two significant spiritual things happen. These things prove I’m expanding as a spiritual being. This past week was no exception. What happens proves I’m uncovering my “supernatural powers”.

Of course such experiences are not “supernatural”. They’re things we all can do. Doing so just requires dedication. Dedication most people won’t put in. So it only seems such things are impossible. Or their possibility gets relegated to superheroes on the big screen. Many of us simply won’t prioritize such things.

Meanwhile, some people actively enjoy such abilities. Members of certain Buddhist Orders, for example, develop such capabilities. But even they may not go far. They see such abilities as distractions from their ultimate goal. Their ultimate goal being renunciation earthly desires, not developing occult powers.

I don’t consider such abilities distractions. I believe they serve vital purposes. They help people realize their godliness. Such experiences introduce people to their eternal natures. Experiencing them can even radically change individual life trajectories and society at large. They can change how we relate to each other. They can help eliminate human suffering by showing us how connected we all are. Connected not only to one another, but to all things.

They can even help us lose the fear of death.

Ending human suffering – one person at a time

That’s right, supernatural experiences relieve people of fear and insecurity. Fear and insecurity lie at the heart of many “bad” human behaviors. Mass shooters, aren’t born mass shooters, for example. Experience nurtures people into such states. Psychopaths aren’t born that way either. They become such people at the hands of other people.

All that can change if everyone directly experienced their immortality. If people knew they were integral parts of God, they’d fear one another less. They’d experience more grace and love from within. No matter the external conditions, such people could change their lives into better lives. Better lives for themselves and for others.

Changes like that can’t come from “faith” though. Which explains why religion often falls short. Religion can mollify insecurity and fear. But religion also can foment fear and insecurity. Especially those based on sin and damnation.

But direct experience of one’s eternal essence teaches differently. Directly experiencing one’s consciousness as it exists beyond the physical offers compelling, visceral, undeniable evidence. No one, for example, can deny out of body experiences exist. Not after directly experiencing one.

Positively Focused’s goal then is empowering people in this way. The practice shows them they are gods in human form. Through direct experience, the practice reconnects people with their immortality. From there, people discover what they really are. In time they free themselves from fear, suffering and insecurity. They find instead empowerment, freedom and joy. Then life becomes the joyful adventure that is the Charmed Life.

What is our potential?

My personal practice has me questioning many things nearly everyone takes for granted as impossible. What if, for example, things “superheroes” do in movies actually represent real-life human potential? What if we can fly? Can we travel to other dimensions? Can we shape shift?

I don’t think coincidence explains people’s fascination with superhero movies. Perhaps the reason we’re so fascinated is deep down we know such abilities are possible. But since so many don’t believe them, such abilities remain latent.

Until now. I know, I sound crazy. But my experience says maybe I’m not so crazy…

^^Abraham making an assertion I’m beginning to believe is accurate.

I’m testing that “craziness” to see what’s behind it. What I’m finding shows that maybe we can do more than our logical minds allow. Maybe…our potential is more unlimited than we believe.

My latest experience

Shape shifting, for example, is something I’m systematically exploring. Recent experience indicates I’m making progress. Of course, actually shifting my shape requires rather intricate and significant control of certain realms. It also requires highly refined abilities. Abilities accessible only in nonphysical. It also demands that I soothe a LOT of resistance, primarily resistance manifesting as disbelief. But also manifesting as fear.

And yet, evidence I am producing shows promise. Take, for example, this recent experience:

^^Notes from my experiences during session 187 titled: Preparatory sessions for shape-shifting?

Descriptions in this note pale in comparison to the actual experience. It was EXTREMELY profound. So real was the experience that it left me giddy days afterwards. And the fact that it ended seconds before my timer went off told me a greater intelligence was at work within me. An intelligence possessing a sense of humor and an awareness of my time experience. I attribute that intelligence to my Broader Perspective.

What was that experience?

In case you don’t know what “murmuration” is, here’s a video of the phenomena:

^^This is what my body felt like

Watch the “meta” structure the birds’ flight paths create. Note how that shape changes, but the number of birds and their orientation, while changing, remains cohesive. My body felt exactly like this. Though I perceived it maintaining its overall “shape”, I also sensed that it could change shape. That it actually was preparing to change.

I’m not quite ready for the full capability shape shifting implies. Not yet. Just as I’m not fully ready for fully-conscious OBEs. Otherwise, I’d be shape shifting now. And traveling to other realms and dimensions while fully aware of the experience.

That I’m not doing that (yet) tells me I still have some resistance. Fear remains the biggest resistant element between me and these full-blown experiences. My ego hasn’t quite acclimated itself to a realm in which it’s not designed to function. But it’s getting there.

As it does, that fear is subsiding.

What the future holds

Shape shifting is my future. As are the other occult abilities. I strongly believe this. I already am projecting my consciousness outside my body and aware I’m doing so. Everyone does this. Nearly everyone disbelieves they do this however. So they don’t remember doing it. Or, they aren’t aware of doing it. Or both. I’m becoming more and more aware of my out of body experiences. I record them. And I retain the experience. More and more, I’m becoming aware while in them. Doing so, I’m gradually extending my time in them. Changing the emanation that is my body will be a nice complement to out-of-body travel.

This whole exploration began with manifesting desirable circumstances and events in waking consciousness. It actually started with wanting to be more positive. Now, it has expanded a great deal. I never thought I would want to manifest these supernatural abilities. Abilities that actually aren’t so supernatural. But now that I’m starting to experience them directly, I can see how they were my destiny.

Someone must show humanity what’s possible. Someone must show us the future that can be ours. Perhaps that person is me. Want to join me and my clients in this pursuit? Contact me. Let’s talk about it.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Japan's All-Female Metal Band LOVEBITES Returns With New Bassist And 'Judgement Day' Music Video

LOVEBITES, the all-female heavy metal band from Tokyo, Japan, has returned from its hiatus with a new member, a new music video and news of a fourth studio album coming in February 2023. The LP is also available to preorder today from JPU Records, and is available physically in three editions.

"Judgement Day", the fittingly titled album, will be the first to feature the band's new lineup, which includes bassist Fami, who was selected after an audition process and is just 20 years of age. The fast, melodic and heavy metal sound that LOVEBITES has excelled at since its debut is still burning strong, but has been sublimated further. Newcomer Fami also brings an added charm to the quintet, including her signature slap technique. The album contains ten completely new songs, mixed and mastered by Finnish masterminds Mikko Karmila and Mika Jussila, who have worked on all of the band's studio albums.

Fans can get a taste of the new LOVEBITES today with the release of the digital single and music video to the album's title track, available to download, stream and watch now.

The cover art for the album features a wolf, an incarnation of the band that has appeared on all of LOVEBITES's previous albums. This time, as the title suggests ("Judgement Day"),the wolf clutches scales that weigh good and evil within its jaws, and is captured sprinting between the sun and the moon. Further meaning from the cover art can be discovered in the title track's music video, and further details will likely be revealed in the future too.

"Judgement Day" will be released digitally worldwide on February 22, 2023, and released on CD from JPU Records from February 24, 2023. A video-on-demand and CD bundle is also available directly from JPU Records' web site. It features a documentary of the bassist auditions which includes interviews with the members of the band, as well as Fami while she was still one of the finalists — all with English subtitles. It also includes four studio sessions; "The Hammer Of Wrath", "Golden Destination" and "Shadowmaker" from the audition finals, and "Bravehearted", the first session with Fami as an official member of LOVEBITES. There is also a third edition that includes the CD, the video on demand content and a "Judgement Day" t-shirt. Additionally, 50 orders of this latter bundle will randomly receive a sleeve case that has been signed by the members of the band.

"Judgement Day" track listing:

01. We Are The Resurrection 02. Judgement Day 03. The Spirit Lives On 04. Wicked Witch 05. Stand And Deliver (Shoot 'Em Down) 06. Victim Of Time 07. My Orion 08. Lost In The Garden 09. Dissonance 10. Soldier Stands Solitarily

LOVEBITES formed in 2016 with vocalist Asami, guitarists Midori and Miyako, bassist Miho and drummer Haruna. The band's EP "The Lovebites" EP was mixed by Mikko Karmila and mastered by Mika Jussila, a team of talented Finnish engineers known for their work with NIGHTWISH, CHILDREN OF BODOM and AMORPHIS. In May 2017 LOVEBITES made their debut and released "The Lovebites" EP through London's JPU Records, followed by full length album "Awakening From Abyss" in October 2017 and had a series of shows in Japan and the U.K.

In 2018 LOVEBITES made their first festival appearance at Vans Warped Tour Japan 2018, as well as a headline show in June for mini album "Battle Against Damnation". In July they participated in Headstrong Fes.18 organized by ANTHEM, followed by performing at the world's biggest metal festival Wacken Open Air in Germany and Bloodstock Open Air in the U.K. They also toured Europe with X-ray Touring. After returning to Japan, LOVEBITES completed their second album "Clockwork Immortality" by the end of the year, and performed at Metal Mania, which also featured LOUDNESS.

LOVEBITES began 2019 by touring Japan, followed by supporting ARCH ENEMY on tour in China. First live album "Daughters Of The Dawn: Live In Tokyo 2019" was released in July, recorded at Mynabi Blitz Akasaka in Tokyo in support of "Clockwork Immortality". The same month the band toured festivals, including Download Festival in the U.K., Graspop Metal Meeting in Belgium, and Download Festival Madrid in Spain. At Download Festival in the U.K., Asami joined HALESTORM on stage to sing "Love Bites (And So Do I)", the song that gave LOVEBITES their name. When the band returned to Japan they toured Tokyo, Nagoya and Osaka before appearing at Summer Sonic 2019. They then joined DRAGONFORCE for their U.K. tour in November as special guests.

In January 2020, the band released third album "Electric Pentagram". It became the band's first album to enter Japan's Oricon Top 10 rankings, peaking at number nine. The band then kicked off tour of Japan in February and released "Five Of A Kind: Live In Tokyo 2020" in July, recorded at Zepp DiverCity, which reached number one in the Oricon Music Blu-ray chart.

In March 2021 they released mini album "Glory, Glory, To The World", which reached No. 10 in the Billboard general chart. Immediately afterwards the band began the "Ride For Vengeance" tour 2021, touring four cities across Japan. In August Miho left the band and it was announced that LOVEBITES would take a break. In the meantime, "Heavy Metal Never Dies – Live In Tokyo 2021" was released in the U.K. as a CD and video on-demand release, featuring the Tokyo show from the "Ride For Vengeance" tour 2021, followed by best album "In The Beginning: The Best Of 2017-2021".

In April 2022, the band held an audition for all nationalities, ages, and genders worldwide to find a new bassist. After a long selection process, fami joined in October of the same year, leading to LOVEBITES once again being composed of five members.

[audryt]

The Story of a Boy and His End...

I do some damn good worldbuilding when I put my mind to it...

x+x+x+x+x

"I didn't know Dae was going to hurt anyone," Kay protested. "He wanted me to join his band. I told him I wouldn't unless he made the same offer to my friends. He promised he would make all of us immortal."

"Oh, now, that's generous of you, mate," Griffin harped. "Offering these girls eternal damnation so you can suffer together."

"Griffin, I'm handling this interrogation," my father said levelly. "Kaydrien, do you really expect me to believe you bought Dae's lie that he was doing it for you? I thought you were too smart for bullshit."

Kay shifted uncomfortably. "Nice backhand. I'd be flattered, but you don't really know me."

"I made it my business to know you after my employee got his head ripped off at your house by one of your master's grunts."

"Dae didn't have anything to do with that. A rival vampire framed him to put the hunters—you guys—on his trail."

"Witnesses at the party testified that the band member called Gun wasn't on stage when you screamed. He killed the bodyguard and you watched him do it."

Kaydrien's eyes widened. "No! Ken wasn't supposed to die. Dae just needed him out of the way long enough to convince Sanny and Juliet to leave with the band."

"Force, not convince, and murder, not distract. His plan would have worked if this mystery rival hadn't chased Gun off and provoked you into screaming—but surely you suspected Dae's involvement after the fact, when the memory that would have implicated Gun magically disappeared. Don't tell me you weren't clever enough to put those pieces together when you were clever enough to figure out I was having you followed, and to lose your tracker right before you kidnapped my daughter."

"You had him followed?" Sanny exclaimed. "You can't do that. You're not the FBI."

"When the undead are involved, conventional law does not apply."

"That's very martial law of you," Sanny shot back.

"My actions are sanctioned by the World Protectorate."

"The...what?"

"A division of the United Nations that was created to prevent the governments of the world from being overrun by the undead invasion. Like all hunter organizations, we answer to them and them alone."

"So you're saying government leaders all over the world know about vampires? And they don't tell their citizens?!"

"Put aside the politics until later or I'll have you thrown out until I'm done here."

Kay chuckled; the sound was an empty echo of what it used to be. "Caught between vampires and vampire hunters," he said to Sanny, "you're busy standing up for citizen's rights."

"It's your rights she's standing up for," my father pointed out. "She deserves to know why you betrayed her. Were you really that desperate for eternal youth?"

"I'm not that superficial," Kay snapped. "I'm telling you, I didn't know what he planned to do."

"Convince me. Otherwise, I'll decide for myself what your motives were, and let me tell you—your whole future rests in my hands. I can leave you locked in here for a hundred years, if I think you deliberately conspired to have these children murdered..."

[jimmymosworld]

Purtenance - Member of Immortal Damnation (Full Album)

[quiannesblog]

REFLECTION 001

Not Everybody Believes In A God: A Reflection Paper on My Experiences Growing Up With God and Religion

As the saying goes, “Every man’s heart one day beats its final beat. Their lungs breathe their final breath. And if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse through the body of others and makes them bleed deeper in something that’s larger than life, then their essence, their spirit, will be immortalized by the storytellers.”

Theology was a subject that I have been avoiding to learn about ever since I was a kid.

Do not get me wrong. I love learning but when it comes to God and religious beliefs, it was a topic I refused to acknowledge as much as I could. I know of its impact and how it has affected history, especially the trajectory of human lives and if given a chance, I’d want to be open-minded about it, even if it means abandoning my own atheistic beliefs.

I grew up in a typical, religious Filipino family. Full of hypocrites and empty-hearted worshippers, who only kneel before God in desperate times and never on times they should thank Him. They used His name and the “supposed” teaching at church to scare me and force me in a box of fear and paranoia, without truly knowing God properly and the church itself. I used to be the kid who prays to God and Jesus; before I eat a meal served at our dining table, at school where I was most of the times, and before I go to sleep where I dreamed peacefully.

You could say that it was inflicted on me, because our house used to have this display dedicated to God and Jesus, filled with His and Their framed pictures, along with religious figures— such as angels, the apostles, and so on and so forth. But I’ve never seen any of my family members who actually prays and give an ounce of their attention at the altar built in at the corner of the wall, always going on their way and ignoring it. It was indeed just a display, even the thick-paged bible that was on our house has collected the dust, no mark of fingerprints were left on it to show that someone has opened and read it. My family loves to pretend that they cared about God, but I grew up hearing foul and hateful words coming out of their mouths, and how they cursed other people to damnation.

I was mostly ignored when I was a kid. They fed me, they bought me clothes to wear, I slept in a comfortable bed, and there was a roof over my head, but that doesn’t mean I grew up in a loving, caring home. I do not have vivid memories of the happiest moments of my life, but I do remember hiding behind the curtains and watching my grandparents fight all the time; sometimes, it’s about money, or my grandmother’s constant accusation of my grandfather cheating on her, or how they’re having a hard time raising me while my mother is still finishing her college degree. I was the result of teenage pregnancy and growing up was not pleasant for me, as my family would constantly berate me just for my mere existence and how they’d shamed my mother for getting pregnant early.

They’d tell me that I was a sinner and God could never love me, which resulted to me being scared all the time that I’ll just die because my family told me God eliminates sin and punishes the sinners. And my father? Oh, he left after they got married and started a whole new family; which is funny as I heard my grandparents say that he was a faithful and family-oriented man and yet he can’t take up the responsibility to be a proper husband to my mother and father to me. I was always alone and left at the house. I didn’t have anyone to play with as a kid. I had toys, yes, but I missed the feeling of what it’s like to have a bond and in my mind, I made up different imaginary friends. It was a lonely childhood and I always wondered what ever I did in my past life to deserve this (if ever that exists), because why was I allowed to have a life like mine?

I prayed to God. I prayed to Jesus. I prayed to anybody who would hear my prayers. I was so tired of hearing my family fight all the time and why it became the norm in our lives. None of my prayers were answered. It only got worse over the years and it made me often think to myself up until now, that if God truly exists why was my life like that? Am I not His child to be shun in a life that was miserable and lonely?

At school, I became envious of my classmates because I see their family picking them up after schools with smiles on their faces while the person always waiting for me by the gates was my yaya— strangers that have come and go in my life, who replaced the bond and comfort I seek out badly from my family that they cannot give. I saw how supportive my classmates’ parents were and how they praised them even if they did not well in school, so as long as they’re learning. But for me? It was a nightmare to step foot at our house the moment I have failed a school work.

I remember how I’ll sit at the dining table back at home with my grandparents and mother looking at me with disappointed expressions on their faces, my failed school works sprawled on the table instead of our dinner for the night. My mother would cradle my face gently, but her eyes tell a different story— she was mad and she saw me as a failure. She’d ask me, “Why didn’t you do better?” or “Do you think I’m happy with a score like this?” and I’d shook my head with tears in my eyes, my heart heavy knowing that she can’t be proud of me. My grandparents would stay quiet and compare me to other children, say why am I not like my classmate, or Aling Marie’s son, and so on and so forth. And all of the these things they’d said would fill my mind and I’ll just close my eyes to try and forget about it. During those nights, my sleeps were restless and I don’t pray because I feel like I can’t seek comfort from God. And even on the days I succeed, where I present A+ papers to them, they don’t feel proud of me. They don’t praise me and all I get is a nod and an empty acknowledgment, and at those moments, I feel alone, that not even praying to God can help me feel better.

Continue Reading...?

[redrorums]

Gaian Political Structure

Key Terms(in order of authority):

* Yama: don’t officially exist. Shadow Parliament of Gaia composed partially of the semi-immortal members of General Yamamoto’s original advisors. New members have come and gone, but traitors are ferociously hunted down and silenced. If you do know of them for some reason…don’t talk about them.

* U.G.F. (United Gaian/Gebian Federation):

There are a number of Specialists, Consultants, Assassins, etc. who technically rank above the Parliament and answer only to members of Yama or B.O.C.F. directly.

* Parliament:

Members are presumed to be selected by Archimedes, Rosie, and/or Niwashi(Yama), but the exact truth has always been concealed.

* The Executors: don’t officially exist

Their purpose is to “Carry out the Will of Yama”. Members are presumed to be selected by Yama, but even the Executors do not know for sure.

* C.B.O.A. (Central Bureau of Absolution)

* B.O.S. (Bureau of Supremacy)

* B.O.F. (Bureau of Fates)

* B.O.F. (Bureau of Furies aka/B.O.C.F. Bureau of Counter-Fate)don’t officially exist

* B.O.D. (Bureau of Damnation)

* S.O.U.L. (Senate of Unified Leaders):

The First Citizens of all existing nations on or controlled by Gaia/Geb (so even off-world nations). The title “First Citizen” can ONLY BE GRANTED BY PARLIAMENT.

* Imperial Consulate:

The Beastblooded Empire demanded their own SUPERIOR office be instated on Geb… so it was. They have official representatives in BOTH the Senate and the League, but higher ranking members of the Empire will usually supersede these governmental bodies and deal directly with the C.B.O.A. or The Executors.

* League of Nations:

The representatives of any number of CURRENTLY existing Countries on Geb or associated with Gebian politics. All of Geb’s most important and trusted allies throughout The Cosmos at large are allowed to sit in and make official requests/demands of the UGF here.

While General Yamamoto was engaging in her now infamous sacking of Al’Terra/Tellustria, she left behind a think tank of her most trusted advisers to lay the groundwork for Gaia’s longterm governmental structure. These advisers would eventually evolve into the organization simply known as “Yama no Kodomo-Tachi” or “Children of the Mountain” in reference to

Yamamoto-sama. (I’ll be referring to them as simply Yama from now on) Yama started working this problem even before she left, making sure that she took all her most ambitious military leaders with her when she invaded. None of them returned from Alterra alive as they were all deemed “too dangerous and unstable” to be leaders of the New Gaian Regime. The first thing you need to understand about Yama is that it’s membership is not made up of people motivated by personal gain, but instead by individuals who all genuinely believe their vision of the future is the best possible course for Gaia and her people to take. Though many of the steps they took and decisions they made were and are ethically questionable, Yama’s end goal is and always will be simply attempting to make Gaia a better place to live. To this end, there is very little they won’t do in defense of Gaia and her people. They immediately set about establishing the initial governmental infrastructure of the U.G.F. (United Gaian Federation), replacing the New World Order with a less… brutal regime. The U.G.F. was initially run by Yama and the Three Bureaus of Absolution:

Bureau of Supremacy (B.O.S.)-

Headed up by the aggressively intellectual Gaian Illithids as well as the stoic and loyal Freeforged that answer directly to Rosie Franklin, DOS would be in charge of presenting an insurmountable military presence on Gaia. They were put in charge of all UGF military operations henceforth and establishing a solid line of defense across all of Gaia. This meant first cleaning up the remaining warlords on Gaia’s surface and drafting some of them for the cause. DOS is superficially lead by the Grand General (sometimes Grand Admiral, as the branches take turns controlling total force movements), but is actually controlled by Archimedes and It’s invisible Illithid operatives.

Bureau of Fates/Furies [Counter-Fate](B.O.F./B.O.C.F.)-

As far as anyone on Gaia or any other world knows, there is only the DOF. The DOCF does not technically exist. The DOCF exists only within the vast spiritual Microcosm/Macrocosm of Kakuban, though They are more often called Niwashi(The Gardener). Niwashi has the ability to create a seemingly endless chain of pocket dimensions that exist hidden within the Ethereal Drift and uses this to completely conceal their Department. On the shiny DOF surface, Niwashi employs the use of their loyal Suijin(water spirits), headed up by Sui-ō/Suiten, as intelligence gatherers, analysts, decipherers, etc. On the flip side, Niwashi sends out their trusted Tengu and Kitsune operatives to spread misinformation and confusion about Gaia’s true motives and plans/spread destructive lies about the Al’Terran Republic. When drastic measures must be taken in secret, Shinobi agents are sent in to “clean up”.

Bureau of Damnation (B.O.D.)-

Death and Taxes. No really. The Pentagonal Skybreaker (like a skyscraper, but it’s coming down to earth from space…), in which BOD resides, is one of the Hellscapes carved out of Helheim and placed in Gaian orbit. Who or what did this is unknown, and asking Hel about it only sends her into a dimension-exploding tantrum. It has been renovated from its original, typical (Fire and Brimstone bleh) form into a surprisingly snazzy building equipped with all the latest corporate tech and ergonomically perfect furnishings. This, The Omega Complex, is divided into fifths with each fifth being an Agency and all it’s extraneous Departmental Heads. Four of the five Agencies serve under Inktongue, an unnamed Devil contracted by the Gaian government (most assume it to be Mephistopheles or some powerful relative of theirs). Inktongue’s Four-Fifths manage Tax Collection for Gaia, code for if the Gaian Government points at something and says “That’s ours actually” you better let them take it. Inktongue’s Tax Collectors are amongst the most feared, hated and capable fighters, spellcasters, tacticians, and all-around heartless blokes in all The Cosmos. If they come to “repo” something, better to just let it go. Should you somehow manage to somehow best a Tax Collector, you’ll only end up with a Black Seal on your Citizen’s Record. That’s where the fifth fifth comes in, the Department of Death to repo your soul. The DoD hires a number of “uniquely qualified” mortals to perform the duties of Reapers, as well as privately contracted entities like Shinigami, Dullahan, Anubis’ Jackals, etc. This Department acts as the

The initial Yama members were:

* Nikolai R. Franklin- (it is assumed this is a fake name, but next to nothing is known about the man. This is the only way to identify him by name) Geneticist, Biochemist, Physicist, etc. Seems to have travelled with Yamamoto since the earliest days of her travels, back when she was still exterminating all the daemons and undead in what was left of Japan. He was very noticeable as he was extremely loud, abrasive, and a crocodilian Itzamná (Lizardfolk) with metal teeth. Hunched over and always coughing as he was, this man’s research was pivotal in humanities’ survival as a whole. He had vast Alchemical knowledge and used it to create the first iterations of Arcane Gene Therapy. HE CREATED THE CURE FOR CANCER… though he was not given the appropriate respect for this during the brutal Ashen Age. He was able to come up with, if not cures, methods of greatly alleviating most of humanities then sickness and ailments. This allowed Yamamoto to draw vast numbers of new citizens in with the promise of Nikolai curing all that ailed them. Ironically, of all the high ranking members of her regime on this list, Nikolai was by far the most outspoken in his disgust for her brutal methods of Leadership. They were often caught arguing heatedly about Gaia’s future and he was quoted as saying “I escaped slavery only to be enslaved by the nation I helped build”, though no one knows enough about his past to verify this. He was extremely kind and nondiscriminatory towards those who just considered themselves refugees(the average citizen). Inversely, he would go out of his way to mock military members for being mindless dogs and use his Nonnegotiable status as Yamamoto’s right hand and lead scientist to prevent young, scientific minds from being drafted. The most controversial belief that he held was his OBSESSION with alchemically augmented gene-splicing and it’s “infinite” potential. He was more than happy to preach at anyone who would listen that “the only way for humanity, and consequently all Gaians, to survive the coming Age is for us to evolve as a combined species. TO CAST ASIDE OUR GENETIC SHACKLES AND EMRACE EVOLUTION WHOLEHEARTEDLY!!!” He very passionately pursued this avenue of research, attempting to find a way to perfectly merge all races and species on earth into one, perfect super-being…👀 yeeeeeea slightly problematic line of reasoning there, doc. Luckily for Gaians, he never finished his research. He sacrificed his dreams for his love of earth’s citizens and his desire to make Gaia a better home for them, becoming the first, true member of Yama. Nikolai died of several incurable ailments that were presumed, by his closest compatriots, to be the result of self-experimentation. He left behind his adopted daughter,

* Rosie Franklin, to lead the scientific development of Gaia (and continue his Arcane Splicing Experiments). Her origin is a complete unknown. She appears to be simply human, but never ages and possesses UNPRECEDENTED Psionic power and control. What IS known of her was learned the hard way. When Archimedes attempted to access Dr. Franklins computer, she single-handedly shut them down. This means she was able to psionically overwhelm the entire mindflayer colony with her mind alone. She also was witnessed telling Mr. English that he was not allowed entry to the lab area. When he ignored her, she kicked him in the balls. When he tried to temporally reverse the damage, it paradoxically remained. He was heard grumbling afterwards about being sealed out by a temporal void barrier and saying something about “damn mutant freaks”. She refuses to be in the same building as Niwashi, and they usually work on opposite sides of the world from each other. Perhaps her most terrifying power is her ability to gain seemingly absolute power over Gaia’s Cataclysmic Rifts. She can move their location, expand and contract them, and cause them to lead to different locations all together. Her and the Psions she trains are the only Psionic entities in the Cosmos who possess this ability, giving Gaia a supreme advantage over Alterra in terms of trans-dimensional mobility. She is not credited for increasing the number of psions born on Gaia, but those who have enough clearance to know she exists assume her genetic research is responsible in some way. She is universally feared by the other members of Yama, as they believe she has inherited maybe a little too much of her dad’s obsessiveness and radical ideals. Some even theorize that Nikolai lives on inside her mind, continuing his research endlessly. Oh, and they afraid she could probably kill them all without even trying. Archimedes theorizes that Dr. Franklin figured out the secret to increasing the genetic potential for both the Psionic gene AND the Sorcerous gene. If she truly is a Psionic Sorcerer, she would be able to use her Aether-infused Vitality to charge her brain infinitely, and her Psionic powers to perfectly control her own Aether. It would explain why she is always consulting with Beholders, as their abilities are extremely similar to her own.

* Sven C. L. English-The genius physicist who removed himself from Time and Space completely, accidentally casting himself into The Ginnungagap. When referring to the English who helped Yamamoto found the U.G.F. It’s impossible to know which version of him it was(is). If you think of the timeline as a whole, theoretically this could’ve been future English coming back, him right when he escaped the Ginnungagap, or him traveling forward or back from any point in the timeline that he’s “already been to”. Which is all of them. The moment he broke back into reality and time traveled the “very first time”, he instantly created an infinite number of himself that pop in and out of existence along the Remaining Time of the Cosmos. What version of him eventually returned to Earth and took part in rebuilding society and what exactly he told Yamamoto about possible futures can never truly be known. Why not time travel back and listen to him, you ask? Because the Final version of Mr. English is hunting himself and ANY OTHER time travelers down and eradicating them. How much impact they had before he kills them seems to be one of the deciding variables in when, where, how, and why he kills them. His final version is an immortal Eldritch entity that cannot be defeated as it seems to see people, not as their current selves, but as their sum total values to the Time-stream. If you come face to “face” with The Final English, It already knows everything you’ve done, can do, will do. It knows your exact strengths and weaknesses in that exact moment. It knows all the potential end results of your thoughts and actions. It remembers being you in a paradoxical previous timeline that no longer exists, and understands you just as well as you do. This version of him is referred to, by Alice Winchester, as Mr. Dark Moon or just The Reaper, because if It reveals itself to you…it’s basically already finished killing you. MORAL OF THE STORY! Just don’t time travel. Ever. His contributions are minimal, but he does pop in and change seemingly inane and random aspects of Gaia’s government and history from time to time. As egotistical and sneeringly annoying as he can be sometimes, Mr. English USUALLY has Earthborn humanities’ best interests at heart. (He’s just not good at showing it…and also constantly afraid he’s about to be killed by himself at any moment)

* Archimedes-It remains unclear whether Archimedes is an A.I. or an organic life form for the entire history of Gaia. The running theory of those in the know is that it was once the Elder Brain of Earth’s Illithid (Mindflayer) colony. Though Illithids (Mindflayers) are not fully a hive mind, they do have a central psionic communication hub called the Elder Brain. They can choose to share thoughts amongst each other if they wish, as well as wield far greater psionic might if they must. Unfortunately, this also acts as their greatest weakness, as damage to the Elder Brain will inevitably ripple outwards and affect all members of the colony. This is what happened on Earth when the Elder Brain got irradiated and began driving it’s own colony insane. Yamamoto stepped in (with suspiciously perfect timing) and offered the colony a deal. She would save their Elder Brain if they served her and Gaia for the remainder of their stay on this world. They trepidatiously agreed, granting her and her scientists access to the Elder Brain. Whether or not it was necessary to cybernetically enhance the Central Brain is lost to time. The Illithids themselves assume this was simply Yamamoto using them as Guinea pigs in her constant experiments, though they hold no grudges. Being connected to the Server Essential Computer of the New World Order greatly increased the Elder Brain’s power and psionic range of abilities. It also granted the Elder Brain an alarming amount of autonomy. It suddenly referred to itself as Archimedes and seemed more interested in preserving Gaia than the Illithid colony. The Illithids were a little peeved, claiming they had been duped, but they eventually came around and declared themselves equal citizens of Gaia. It cannot be stressed enough how necessary to Gaia’s survival Archimedes has been. With the ability to control and improve any technology, magical or otherwise, psionic range wide enough to reach across multiple realms and dimensions telepathically, and the ability/DESIRE to add anyone, regardless of race or psionic ability, who’s willing to fight for Gaia’s cause to its psionic network make it much closer to a Deity than an Elder Brain. The sheer, overwhelming power Archimedes wields makes it more than a match for most minor deities, elder gods, and The Ascendent/Godenders. This keeps the most powerful enemies of Gaia at bay, for fear of Archimedes’ wrath. Some Gaian Illithids are opposed to the addition of other races to their centralized mental unit, but they’ve been largely outvoted every time. Archimedes thinks of all Gaians as members of it’s super-colony, and always makes the most logical choices to defend and support ALL citizens. This is why Yamamoto trusted Archimedes wholeheartedly. Knowing that, of all the members of Yama, Archimedes motives were truly pure. It’s true location is unknown, even to itself. Potentially, Archimedes exists only in digital space and not physically at all, making it all the more comparable to a Deity or powerful spirit.

* Shōgaku-bō Kakuban/ Amida (a Buddha?)/ or Niwashi(The Gardener)- No one knows where Niwashi came from (a recurring theme on this list, I know. The idea is that all these individuals are not just powerful, but also EXCEPTIONALLY skilled at concealing information about themselves. Only their archenemies, The Ascendent, seem to even know of their existence at all) or when/why/how exactly they joined Yamamoto’s ragtag band of freaks. Niwashi seems to function much like a dream, they appear in the middle of things and disappear whenever they please. No one except Yamamoto herself seemed to understand what their motives for defending Gaia could even be, but they continue to do an excellent job of it and thus, are indispensable. Niwashi’s true form has never been seen, as they always wear a burgundy body suit made from some kind of velvety material covering every millimeter of their slender body. There doesn’t appear to be clasps or buttons of any kind, but Niwashi also always wears some form of traditional Buddhist robe, so even that can’t be verified.