#member of immortal damnation

[festering-remains]

Purtenance - "The Lost Memories" from Member of Immortal Damnation (1992)

"Mortal sinks into deep dream Before the final moment of time There will be no second time, no more second chance to live right"

[thelowestorder]

Purtenance - Black Vision

[byuntrash101]

ateez masterlist

disclaimer: everything is smut, mdni. everything is idol x fem!reader

📖 31 fics and counting...

✲ multiple members

first flight to hongkong | 18.3k — idol!au, dom ot8!ateez

yes, you're suprised when your company offers you a vacant spot in the vip crew. but "surprised" doesn't cut it when you discover what kind of service your company provides the vips

the 9th member | 11.8k — idol!au, dom and sub ot8!ateez

what would it be like to be the 9th member of ateez, only there to satisfy the urges of the others?

realistic sex with ateez | on going series — headcanons

how each member would actually fuck you

seonghwa▪︎mingi▪︎yunho▪︎wooyoung▪︎san...tba

sharing is caring? | 5.2k — idol!au, simp!mingi & possessive bf!hongjoong

of course hongjoong cares about his friends but when mingi gets too close to his girl it’s time to remind him sharing is not always caring.

the good friend | 3.4k — idol!au, simp!mingi & bf!san

san has known about mingi’s crush on his girlfriend for a while now. he also happens to be a very good and caring friend who values their friendship very much. and san would do just about anything to help a friend

the better friend | 7.3k — idol!au, simp!mingi & bf!san

a good friend let's a friend watch. a better a friend let's him join

cheerleader | 1.5k — gentle dom!yunho, dom!mingi, dom!san, mean dom!hwa

the boys always like to celebrate victory with their biggest cheerleader after a game

✲ kim hongjoong

bonnie & clyde | 2.5k — dom gang leader!hongjoong ft. ateez

there's something so primal and enticing about your leader taking a life to protect the crew at all costs

drabbles: 1▪︎2

✲ park seonghwa

headache | 1.7k — soft gentle dom!seonghwa

you've been suffering from headaches recently but your boyfriend knows exactly how to get rid of them

damnation of a saint | 13.7k — sin of lust! x nun!reader

life is dull when you are an immortal being such as seonghwa. every day is the same and you live (or rather, merely exist) through the times crushed by the burden of boredom. until something new comes along in the form of a kind, compassionate and righteous newly ordained nun. and so the sin of lust makes it his personal mission to corrupt the purest of souls: yours.

✲ jeong yunho

the drill | 6.8k — nerd dom leaning switch!yunho

yunho cant seem to pick up anyone at the club. for two main reasons, two problems if you will. the first one: his rizz level is negative and the second one... well it's bigger. much, much bigger. a huge problem wooyoung has named "the drill"

behind the mask | 2.7k — bf!yunho

it's halloween night and your sweet golden retriever boyfriend wants to have a little harmless fun

✲ kang yeosang

daddy's little trooper | 2.4k — sweet loving dom!yeosang

after a torrid night with your boyfriend you wake up hungry for a nutrious breakfast but yeosang is just insatiable

streaming: cloud 9 | 1.7k — streamer!au, hard dom!yeosang

you decide to test your boyfriend's nerves while he's live streaming

pretty in pink | 1k — gentle dom!yeosang

your boyfriend just thinks pink suits you very much and loves to make you blush by all means

✲ choi san

incubus: coming of age | 11.3k — fanstasy!au, dom incubus!san

being in love with your boss, doctor jeong yunho, is a nightmare. unlike this dream you're having right now of him gently kissing you in the middle of the night. but something feels off. doctor jeong doesn't quite sound like himself...

✲ song mingi

still your biggest fan | 2k — established relationship, idol!au

your bf is on the other side of the globe touring. somehow you fear the cheers of the fans will make him forget about you. so you decide to remind him you are still and will always be his biggest fan

partition | 2k — gentle dom husband!mingi ft. jongho

finally back from a long business trip your husband takes you to a very nice date to celebrate. but after so long apart you are not sure you can keep your hands to yourself on your way to the restaurant

skinny dipping | 2.6k — college!au, swim team captain dom!mingi, pinkgi ♡

your boyfriend he is so focussed on training for the upcoming championship he forgot tonight was supposed to be date night but maybe he can make it up to you

facetime | 1.1k — switch!mingi, switch!reader, established relationship

mingi has a small favor to ask you real quick

lovers on the sun | 4.8k — cowboy!mingi, friends to strangers to lovers, outlaw!au

you never understood why mingi chose that life. chose to be an outcast, a loveless bandit. over the years you came to terms with it. you got married, you grew. but when the outlaw finds himself gravely wounded his instincts drag him back to you. to the person he's willing to sacrifice everything for

booksmart | 3.1k — sub leaning!mingi, tutor!reader, uni au

maybe mingi didn’t make the smart choice picking a stem major? because the classes proves themselves to be rather difficult especially when mingi as to learn about the female anatomy without having any “field knowledge” on the subject. but as his tutor it’s your duty to help him study, by all means necessary. 

✲ jung wooyoung

milkshake | 3k — sub business man!woo, trophy wife!reader, office!au

wooyoung needs to impress the ceo and chairman to get the newly open cfo position and for that he's planning to go all out, show off everything he's got. including his precious, stunning and bewitching wife: you.

✲ choi jongho

break up with him | 3.5k — angsty, mean dom!jongho, ft. yunho

jongho is tired to be the bad guy. tired of acting like he doesn't care when you kiss him. tired of lying to his best friend. and he's ready to put everything on the line. he wants you for himself only.

drabbles: 1

[kamiiri]

Count Armando came from nobility, and he made sure everyone knew it. He claimed to be entranced by Virginya’s melodic abilities…so entranced that he made her an offer. He intended to make all of her dreams come true. He promised that she would become the most sought-after pianist in the world. For a price, of course.

She agreed. She would do anything to keep playing for audience after audience. But she quickly—and painfully—learned that Armando planned to share his vampiric curse with her so that she may travel by his side, playing for all eternity.

After the venom spread through her body, she became a ravenous, bloodthirsty creature of the night. Virginya did everything in her power to resist the urge to kill, though at times it was impossible. She survived on the less-than-pleasant blood of humankind’s worst members. But even that made her feel like a monster.

Armando couldn’t understand why Virginya was so shattered by her transformation. He believed immortality to be a precious gift. To her, it was eternal damnation. She swore she would never trust anyone again.

[sasquach-scratches]

Xochitl

Alias: Hates-White-Rats

She/Her Argonian 16 (Planemeld Arc), 23 (Current)

Citizenship: Ebonheart Pact Titles: The Vestige, Saviour of Nirn, Daedric Lord Slayer, Enemy of Coldharbour, Havocrel Hunter, Witch, Scoundrel, Locksmith, Master Angler, Master Thief, Numinous Shadow, King's Arrow

Class: Nightblade Weapon Skills: Bow, Dual Wield Armor Skills: Medium World Skills: Legerdemain Guild Skills: Thieves Guild Crafting Skills: Alchemy, Woodworking

A Saxhleel of the Black-Tongue tribe of Murkmire. Short-tempered and spiteful, she was quite unlike others of her kind in the region, let alone the often dark and brooding members of her tribe.

Though she was raised in a loving home with kindhearted parents, they were Nisswo, and thus didn't stay in one place for long. It often meant they would leave Black Marsh's borders, and she would experience first-hand how unkind the outside world is to her kind.

Originally meant to be raised a Shadowscale, her premature hatching guaranteed she'd be passed over for healthier candidates. Even still, her parents saw to teaching her the ways of stealth and esoteric conflict-magic. Though her temperament would be at odds with such a skill set, they could tell that sooner or later she would need it.

When she came of age, she set out on her own as her parents finally settled down in Gideon. Though she traveled alongside her foster brother--a Nord boy left an orphan by the Alliance war--he quickly found an opportunity in a land she knew she wouldn't be welcomed in. The moment they parted ways, she began to use the skills her parents taught her in less than savory ways.

Even though she saw great success at first, one night she ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time, and before she knew it she was sacrificed and ended up a Soul Shriven prisoner in Coldharbour.

In what she believed to be a stroke of incredible luck, she found herself in a jailbreak almost immediately after arriving. Soon she was wrapped up in a situation she didn't much care for, with individuals that were strange at best and irritating at worst.

Still, she was saved from eternal damnation in one of the worst possible places to be in, and she was granted resurrective immortality to boot. She could stand to deal with an overbearing white-skin and a ditzy furbag, but what she wasn't pleased with was having to get involved with an alliance that she vehemently opposed.

With the only downside being horrible pain, she began to take more risks and brazenly dealt with perceived injustices in the cruelest way possible, all while ignoring the path she was set on to reclaim her soul and stop the Planemeld.

It didn't take long for the reality of her situation to finally hit her, as did the consequences of her hasty decisions.

One Tamriel

Time passed, and with age came maturity. Though she made many mistakes which ultimately harmed the people she was fighting for, she didn't go through it alone. The bond she shared with her companions remained strong in times strife and peace. Her bitterness remained, but knowing she had support helped her focus her efforts on real change.

Sadly, she had to acknowledge that, as great a force of Needed Change that she was, there were many factors beyond her control that kept her from making the changes she wanted to see. When the time came that her world and the worlds of her two counterparts would finally become one, she accepted the role of the Hero not for the sake of nations and crowns, but for life on all of Nirn.

When those in positions of power regularly betrayed or disappointed her, she saw no reason to play a part in their petty squabbles on the off chance it may help those at the bottom who were suffering. As her trusted friends took on these burdens, she secretly contemplated the teachings of her homeland, finding truth in them after all.

==

Hooo boy so this one took a LONG time to get out there. So long that it at least gave me time to make some changes on the main art (though I still kind of think the sepals on the hydrangeas are too bright green but idk)

Some outfit notes!

Planemeld Arc Armor

So I didn't really go into the reasoning behind the decisions for some of my "main" Heroes in these games even though my Dragonborn has A Lot, but tbh I already struggle with picking what info to drop and what to keep vague/trim down/etc.

All I'll say is that Hates was originally going to be a Magical Girl inspired character (hence her name that got me several...interesting comments in-game lmao). Suffice to say that this character has a lot of my own baggage attached to her, even more so that every other character I've made, which helps that the theme for my 3 ESO characters is "identity"

Anyways, I've Talked on this too long so here take it

[clocktowerechos]

Factions of the Hellsworn Pact

of the Brightest Night AU

"Such a wonderous galaxy. I feel it better for it to be soaked in screams and bathed in blood. Too much? Yes, too much. Let us just burn it to cinders instead~ Then we can bath in screams!" ~ "Blessed" Lady Malys, the Everqueen of Chaos

The Ruinous Powers

With the existence of both the God Emperor and Isha being active players on the galactic stage, the Dark Gods have focused significantly more resources and attention to the material universe. Breaks in their great game are more common and they pour more of their power into their greatest champions. After their failure to corrupt the Primarchs, they have turned to alternative measures. Of particular note is Nurgle and Slaanesh. Nurgle holds a deep grudge against the Alliance and is determined to recapture Isha. Slaanesh however faces an entirely separate dilemma. Wish Isha being able to contest Eldar souls, Slaanesh faces a very real possibility of starvation from said souls, a terrifying concept for a god of excess. Thus they've had to adapt an entirely new way of executing their plans, most often through the Dark Eldar or the Chaos Eldar Their greatest champion is Lady Malys, known as the Everqueen of Chaos, the Black Maiden, and the Fel Lady among other titles. She is the "Abaddon", greatest champion of Chaos. Her blasphemous union to Asdrubael Vect remains the greatest profane ritual since the Birth of Slaanesh. Where as Abaddon has stable plans, Lady Malys swings between bouts of madness and genius brilliance. It is hard for the Alliance to try and counter her as often her Black Crusades simply have the goal of wrecking as much chaos and destruction as possible. As long as they are not stopped at the Cadian Gates, it is considered a success.

The Lost and the Damned / Traitor Astartes

While none of the Primarchs were ever swayed to the side of Chaos, due in part to the more open knowledge of what they really where, and the Horus Hersey never occurring, there was never a corruption of half the legions. However, over the course of the long millennium plenty have fallen to Chaos with its more focused attention. Regiments of Guardsmen, Chapters of Astartes, Maniples of Skitarri, Orders of Sororitas, and even a Custodes according to dark rumors have fallen, to serve new masters. None are truly safe from damnation in this universe. Some are ragtag rebel bands, heretical guerillas who serve whatever master will grant them power and supplies. Others have formed entire stellar kingdoms, organized and coordinated groups who pose a much more significant threat on the Materium than their raiding Warp-borne counterparts.

The Chaos Eldar

Known as the Croneworld Eldar or Shadishari meaning "Warp Corrupted", they are the inheritors of the foul legacy of the old, depraved Eldar Empire. The birth of Slaanesh had devastated them at first, but soon the Dark Gods found ready worshippers among them, their souls blackened and minds twisted by untold eons of degeneracy and blasphemous indulgence. Slaanesh was the first to bring back a handful of corrupted Eldar who had actually enjoyed the process of having their souls devoured, to which the Prince of Pleasure greatly loved. With most of the Croneworlds trapped in the Warp, they are a hellish successor to the worst aspects of the Eldar. Frequently raiding, pillaging, and conquering in the name of the Chaos Gods, they outnumbers their uncorrupted cousins and their greatest members have achieved a level of immortality by having their souls constantly regurgitated. It is said an Shadishari Daemon Prince is amongst the most dangerous forms of one with the Imperium and the Alliance going to great lengths to stop their ascension whenever possible.

The Dark Eldar

Pirates and raiders hailing from the Dark City, many have combined forces with the Croneworld Eldar for their own ends. The greatest difference between them being their relation to Chaos, while the Croneworld actively embrace and wish for the power of the gods to infuse them, the Dark Eldar have little appreciation for the Dark Gods. They do not have the same assurances of being returned after death like their Croneworld cousins but the power their alliance brings is too great to be ignored. In canon, there is sometimes a tenuous understanding between Craftworld and Dark Eldar that they are kin and to not mess with each other too much, such an understanding does not exist here. The Drukhari will happily prey upon Craftworlds and Exodite Worlds as readily as any others and the Craftworlds call for the death of their fallen cousins. It is for this reason the Webway is significantly more dangerous to use as Croneworld and Dark Eldar prowl its tunnels without regard of who might catch their blades. Some have refused to accept the power of Chaos, especially after the marriage of Vect to Malys. They have escaped Commorragh and set up their own kabals and outposts in the Materium.

The Ashen Kyn

The Long Night was not kind to the Kyn and they were not immune to the gaze of the ruinous powers. When some holds and stations were cut off from their fellows, many became desperate. Their Votann became corrupted, either by rampant data overload, or direct techno-arcane sorceries. Bitter and hateful at how they believed themselves to be abandoned by their cousins and by their Votann Cores, they turned to Chaos and found good company with Vashtorr the Arkifane. Now they serve as critical resupply and production points for raiding Chaos fleets, rivalled only by the Hell-Forges of the Dark Mechanicum. They tend to focus on infernal engineering over daemonology, favored by the Dark Mechanicum.

The Dark Mechanicum

While the Hersey was avoided by the Imperium, the Mechanicum could not prevent the Schism of Mars. Fabricator General Kelbor-Hal refused censure by the Imperial Household and cease his delving into forbidden archeo-tech. Even with the intersession of the God Emperor Aurelian, he openly halted but kept going in secret. As he dove deeper and deeper, he became more corrupted by the whispers in his code. Telling him that he could become as powerful as the Man of Gold and then all the secrets of the universe and all the lost technology of Humanity's golden age. When he was discovered once again, Kelbor-Hal declared his intention to break away from the Imperium and called the red banners to arms. However, in his hurry, he failed to adequately access the political reality of the Mechanicum. Only half rallied to him with the other staying loyal. The following Schism broke the Mechanicum with a civil war that the Imperium intervened in. Despite claiming victory, the Imperium could not hunt down the newly forged Dark Mechanicum as in their distracted state, Chaos forces and Greenskin hordes launched the War of the Beast in an attempt to destroy the Imperium, letting the survivors flee into the war and to uncharted systems to rebuild anew. They have become masters of fusing metal and daemon in their terrifying arcane Hell-Forges

The Greenskin Hordes

The Orks are only "allied" to the forces of Chaos in the loosest sense, often being manipulated by the Croneworld Eldar to serve as cannon fodder or distractions. For their part, the Orks do not mind as they see it as an excellent opportunity to fight. Their power has been greatly increased by the appearance of "Brain Boyz" or "Brain Bosses", intelligent Ork warbosses who understand the Orks far more than their brutish nature would imply, their mere present boosting the intelligence and coordination of other Orks. Dubbed "Ork Bossmasters", they turn a fractious, infighting-prone mob into a proper military force capable of complex tactical maneuvers, long term planning, and huge engineering projects such as Attack Moons. Having first arisen during the Chaos-empowered War of the Beast, their numbers have only grown with the passing centuries to the point there is a recorded incident of a "Green Crusade", where an Ork Bossmaster led a combination Black Crusade and WAAAGH with Chaos forces.

[sneakyvulpine]

So I may or may not have become justtt a little entranced with ur oc seph and I want to know more abt thrm.! If ur cool with talking abt them 💖

AHHH TY FOR ASKING ABT HIM! i love my ocs so dearly i love being asked abt them.. … <33

(@birchtreecat notifying you because you asked for lore too)

!! cw for overdosing, suicide, religious trauma+cults, & child abuse+csa !!

note his backstory is still very much a work in progress. when this project actually gets finished his childhood probably wont get touched on too much. im also still doing research on these topics to write them into his story

seph was born to parents in a cult. he grew up in the cult and was subject to abuse in it. im not going to detail things too too much because. yeah.

he was taught to have a devotion to their god (their god had a lot of eyes, thus the eye imagery w him) and anything going against that was punished. this manifested as a fear of eternal damnation and being incredibly obedient to higher ups. he was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused by other adult cult members as a kid. as a child living in a cult, he was taught not to put his needs first.

at some point, seph gets absolutely fed up. not sure how this would work yet since hes in a cult that makes him fear suicide and damnation. perhaps he meets someone from the outside or sees peoples lives on the outside and sees how happy and functional they are idk. but seph decides to overdose. “hell cannot be much worse than living here”

[in my world, instead of gods there are guardians. its still a work in progress but instead of someone representing the domain, they have control over it. these people are mortals given immortality due to having control over a domain. death controls the domain of death and helps people cross smoothly to the other side. its quite a taxing job so death mainly works to recruit people to help people to the other side or help with other hijinks of life and death.]

upon dying, seph meets death. seph is terrified and he attacks death. (i can imagine this scene in my head, sephs wings grow really big and he can shoot pointy feathers from them) death remarks how seph is really strong and recruits seph to help them with regulating the whole life-death-dying thing. death also helps seph calm down from the mass of drugs in his body. over time, seph grows attached to death and he loves them very much

also hes trans. transition as a metaphor for shedding the burdens of the past fuck yeah. leaving a place where your identity and needs are constantly brushed aside and finally getting to indulge your needs and happiness

currently, seph works for death. power scaling wise seph is pretty strong canonically. he handles situations that needs someone powerful. for example, if theres some criminal reviving a ton of people to do their bidding and disturbing their rest after death, seph might go out and defeat that person. however, someone else handles bringing those souls back to the afterlife

[lonecorner]

Whatever you do, don't think about the fact that the Lamb will never harbor any trust towards the members of their cult solely for the fact that anything related to the gods and the occult were the catalyst to the genocide of their entire species and any bond formed during their journey would remain null and void as they are immortal and mortal lives will be nothing but fleeting moments to them.

The closest to a companion they could ever achieve to have would be the Crown, the one thing that represents the power they never wanted and the God of Death that became his only salvation, only to make him face damnation.

[yabancreations]

Consider: TGCF… but metal.

Heavenly Damnation is a metal music modern AU fic series based on the novel Heaven Official's Blessing by MXTX.

Written by: Yabanned. Art by: Tiiracotta.

It counts with a Spotify playlist.

---

Part 1: Withering Lotus

Xie Lian is a talented multi-instrumentalist who had a meteoric rise as a metal star when his band, White Lotus, released their first EP and got the attention of the prestigious label Immortal Records. When he became the youngest artist to sign with them at the age of 17, he felt that he had the world in the palm of his hand. Three years later, though, a song he wrote tore everything down: he lost his contract, his career, his friends and his family. Vetoed and blacklisted, he was forced to live on the move, as far away from the offices of his old record label as possible, picking little odd jobs related to music in order to survive.

After eight years, a bureaucratic nightmare forces Xie Lian to come back to the capital. He tries his best to go unnoticed, yet he receives two unsettling requests upon arrival: a man in red wants his permission to cover a song he wrote, and a man in white wants him to inherit his mask.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42649482

---

Part 2: Rotting Waters

The story of Heavenly Damnation continues!

During the mid-autumn festival, a fateful encounter allowed Hua Cheng to take his all-time idol Xie Lian away from the grasp of Immortal Records —the most important label for rock and metal music in the country— who were trying to coerce him into signing up for a nightmare. Retreating with him and some members of his own band to a vacation home away from the Capital, Hua Cheng now must make the best out of the couple days they’ll spend together to gather what he needs in order to save Xie Lian’s music. The task isn’t easy: Hua Cheng can’t tell Xie Lian about his plans without breaking his trust and scaring him away, there are more interests at play, and back in the Capital, Jun Wu loses no time summoning Feng Xin and Mu Qing, Xie Lian’s former band mates and friends, to set a snare in which he can catch Xie Lian as soon as he returns. Dishonest debts, broken feelings and stolen songs start to surface in the muddled waters.

Read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46928263

[positivlyfocused]

More Proof On The Way To Becoming Super Human

It seems every week at least two significant spiritual things happen. These things prove I’m expanding as a spiritual being. This past week was no exception. What happens proves I’m uncovering my “supernatural powers”.

Of course such experiences are not “supernatural”. They’re things we all can do. Doing so just requires dedication. Dedication most people won’t put in. So it only seems such things are impossible. Or their possibility gets relegated to superheroes on the big screen. Many of us simply won’t prioritize such things.

Meanwhile, some people actively enjoy such abilities. Members of certain Buddhist Orders, for example, develop such capabilities. But even they may not go far. They see such abilities as distractions from their ultimate goal. Their ultimate goal being renunciation earthly desires, not developing occult powers.

I don’t consider such abilities distractions. I believe they serve vital purposes. They help people realize their godliness. Such experiences introduce people to their eternal natures. Experiencing them can even radically change individual life trajectories and society at large. They can change how we relate to each other. They can help eliminate human suffering by showing us how connected we all are. Connected not only to one another, but to all things.

They can even help us lose the fear of death.

Ending human suffering – one person at a time

That’s right, supernatural experiences relieve people of fear and insecurity. Fear and insecurity lie at the heart of many “bad” human behaviors. Mass shooters, aren’t born mass shooters, for example. Experience nurtures people into such states. Psychopaths aren’t born that way either. They become such people at the hands of other people.

All that can change if everyone directly experienced their immortality. If people knew they were integral parts of God, they’d fear one another less. They’d experience more grace and love from within. No matter the external conditions, such people could change their lives into better lives. Better lives for themselves and for others.

Changes like that can’t come from “faith” though. Which explains why religion often falls short. Religion can mollify insecurity and fear. But religion also can foment fear and insecurity. Especially those based on sin and damnation.

But direct experience of one’s eternal essence teaches differently. Directly experiencing one’s consciousness as it exists beyond the physical offers compelling, visceral, undeniable evidence. No one, for example, can deny out of body experiences exist. Not after directly experiencing one.

Positively Focused’s goal then is empowering people in this way. The practice shows them they are gods in human form. Through direct experience, the practice reconnects people with their immortality. From there, people discover what they really are. In time they free themselves from fear, suffering and insecurity. They find instead empowerment, freedom and joy. Then life becomes the joyful adventure that is the Charmed Life.

What is our potential?

My personal practice has me questioning many things nearly everyone takes for granted as impossible. What if, for example, things “superheroes” do in movies actually represent real-life human potential? What if we can fly? Can we travel to other dimensions? Can we shape shift?

I don’t think coincidence explains people’s fascination with superhero movies. Perhaps the reason we’re so fascinated is deep down we know such abilities are possible. But since so many don’t believe them, such abilities remain latent.

Until now. I know, I sound crazy. But my experience says maybe I’m not so crazy…

^^Abraham making an assertion I’m beginning to believe is accurate.

I’m testing that “craziness” to see what’s behind it. What I’m finding shows that maybe we can do more than our logical minds allow. Maybe…our potential is more unlimited than we believe.

My latest experience

Shape shifting, for example, is something I’m systematically exploring. Recent experience indicates I’m making progress. Of course, actually shifting my shape requires rather intricate and significant control of certain realms. It also requires highly refined abilities. Abilities accessible only in nonphysical. It also demands that I soothe a LOT of resistance, primarily resistance manifesting as disbelief. But also manifesting as fear.

And yet, evidence I am producing shows promise. Take, for example, this recent experience:

^^Notes from my experiences during session 187 titled: Preparatory sessions for shape-shifting?

Descriptions in this note pale in comparison to the actual experience. It was EXTREMELY profound. So real was the experience that it left me giddy days afterwards. And the fact that it ended seconds before my timer went off told me a greater intelligence was at work within me. An intelligence possessing a sense of humor and an awareness of my time experience. I attribute that intelligence to my Broader Perspective.

What was that experience?

In case you don’t know what “murmuration” is, here’s a video of the phenomena:

^^This is what my body felt like

Watch the “meta” structure the birds’ flight paths create. Note how that shape changes, but the number of birds and their orientation, while changing, remains cohesive. My body felt exactly like this. Though I perceived it maintaining its overall “shape”, I also sensed that it could change shape. That it actually was preparing to change.

I’m not quite ready for the full capability shape shifting implies. Not yet. Just as I’m not fully ready for fully-conscious OBEs. Otherwise, I’d be shape shifting now. And traveling to other realms and dimensions while fully aware of the experience.

That I’m not doing that (yet) tells me I still have some resistance. Fear remains the biggest resistant element between me and these full-blown experiences. My ego hasn’t quite acclimated itself to a realm in which it’s not designed to function. But it’s getting there.

As it does, that fear is subsiding.

What the future holds

Shape shifting is my future. As are the other occult abilities. I strongly believe this. I already am projecting my consciousness outside my body and aware I’m doing so. Everyone does this. Nearly everyone disbelieves they do this however. So they don’t remember doing it. Or, they aren’t aware of doing it. Or both. I’m becoming more and more aware of my out of body experiences. I record them. And I retain the experience. More and more, I’m becoming aware while in them. Doing so, I’m gradually extending my time in them. Changing the emanation that is my body will be a nice complement to out-of-body travel.

This whole exploration began with manifesting desirable circumstances and events in waking consciousness. It actually started with wanting to be more positive. Now, it has expanded a great deal. I never thought I would want to manifest these supernatural abilities. Abilities that actually aren’t so supernatural. But now that I’m starting to experience them directly, I can see how they were my destiny.

Someone must show humanity what’s possible. Someone must show us the future that can be ours. Perhaps that person is me. Want to join me and my clients in this pursuit? Contact me. Let’s talk about it.

[jimmymosworld]

Purtenance - Member of Immortal Damnation (Full Album)

[quiannesblog]

REFLECTION 001

Not Everybody Believes In A God: A Reflection Paper on My Experiences Growing Up With God and Religion

As the saying goes, “Every man’s heart one day beats its final beat. Their lungs breathe their final breath. And if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse through the body of others and makes them bleed deeper in something that’s larger than life, then their essence, their spirit, will be immortalized by the storytellers.”

Theology was a subject that I have been avoiding to learn about ever since I was a kid.

Do not get me wrong. I love learning but when it comes to God and religious beliefs, it was a topic I refused to acknowledge as much as I could. I know of its impact and how it has affected history, especially the trajectory of human lives and if given a chance, I’d want to be open-minded about it, even if it means abandoning my own atheistic beliefs.

I grew up in a typical, religious Filipino family. Full of hypocrites and empty-hearted worshippers, who only kneel before God in desperate times and never on times they should thank Him. They used His name and the “supposed” teaching at church to scare me and force me in a box of fear and paranoia, without truly knowing God properly and the church itself. I used to be the kid who prays to God and Jesus; before I eat a meal served at our dining table, at school where I was most of the times, and before I go to sleep where I dreamed peacefully.

You could say that it was inflicted on me, because our house used to have this display dedicated to God and Jesus, filled with His and Their framed pictures, along with religious figures— such as angels, the apostles, and so on and so forth. But I’ve never seen any of my family members who actually prays and give an ounce of their attention at the altar built in at the corner of the wall, always going on their way and ignoring it. It was indeed just a display, even the thick-paged bible that was on our house has collected the dust, no mark of fingerprints were left on it to show that someone has opened and read it. My family loves to pretend that they cared about God, but I grew up hearing foul and hateful words coming out of their mouths, and how they cursed other people to damnation.

I was mostly ignored when I was a kid. They fed me, they bought me clothes to wear, I slept in a comfortable bed, and there was a roof over my head, but that doesn’t mean I grew up in a loving, caring home. I do not have vivid memories of the happiest moments of my life, but I do remember hiding behind the curtains and watching my grandparents fight all the time; sometimes, it’s about money, or my grandmother’s constant accusation of my grandfather cheating on her, or how they’re having a hard time raising me while my mother is still finishing her college degree. I was the result of teenage pregnancy and growing up was not pleasant for me, as my family would constantly berate me just for my mere existence and how they’d shamed my mother for getting pregnant early.

They’d tell me that I was a sinner and God could never love me, which resulted to me being scared all the time that I’ll just die because my family told me God eliminates sin and punishes the sinners. And my father? Oh, he left after they got married and started a whole new family; which is funny as I heard my grandparents say that he was a faithful and family-oriented man and yet he can’t take up the responsibility to be a proper husband to my mother and father to me. I was always alone and left at the house. I didn’t have anyone to play with as a kid. I had toys, yes, but I missed the feeling of what it’s like to have a bond and in my mind, I made up different imaginary friends. It was a lonely childhood and I always wondered what ever I did in my past life to deserve this (if ever that exists), because why was I allowed to have a life like mine?

I prayed to God. I prayed to Jesus. I prayed to anybody who would hear my prayers. I was so tired of hearing my family fight all the time and why it became the norm in our lives. None of my prayers were answered. It only got worse over the years and it made me often think to myself up until now, that if God truly exists why was my life like that? Am I not His child to be shun in a life that was miserable and lonely?

At school, I became envious of my classmates because I see their family picking them up after schools with smiles on their faces while the person always waiting for me by the gates was my yaya— strangers that have come and go in my life, who replaced the bond and comfort I seek out badly from my family that they cannot give. I saw how supportive my classmates’ parents were and how they praised them even if they did not well in school, so as long as they’re learning. But for me? It was a nightmare to step foot at our house the moment I have failed a school work.

I remember how I’ll sit at the dining table back at home with my grandparents and mother looking at me with disappointed expressions on their faces, my failed school works sprawled on the table instead of our dinner for the night. My mother would cradle my face gently, but her eyes tell a different story— she was mad and she saw me as a failure. She’d ask me, “Why didn’t you do better?” or “Do you think I’m happy with a score like this?” and I’d shook my head with tears in my eyes, my heart heavy knowing that she can’t be proud of me. My grandparents would stay quiet and compare me to other children, say why am I not like my classmate, or Aling Marie’s son, and so on and so forth. And all of the these things they’d said would fill my mind and I’ll just close my eyes to try and forget about it. During those nights, my sleeps were restless and I don’t pray because I feel like I can’t seek comfort from God. And even on the days I succeed, where I present A+ papers to them, they don’t feel proud of me. They don’t praise me and all I get is a nod and an empty acknowledgment, and at those moments, I feel alone, that not even praying to God can help me feel better.

Continue Reading...?

[redrorums]

Gaian Political Structure

Key Terms(in order of authority):

* Yama: don’t officially exist. Shadow Parliament of Gaia composed partially of the semi-immortal members of General Yamamoto’s original advisors. New members have come and gone, but traitors are ferociously hunted down and silenced. If you do know of them for some reason…don’t talk about them.

* U.G.F. (United Gaian/Gebian Federation):

There are a number of Specialists, Consultants, Assassins, etc. who technically rank above the Parliament and answer only to members of Yama or B.O.C.F. directly.

* Parliament:

Members are presumed to be selected by Archimedes, Rosie, and/or Niwashi(Yama), but the exact truth has always been concealed.

* The Executors: don’t officially exist

Their purpose is to “Carry out the Will of Yama”. Members are presumed to be selected by Yama, but even the Executors do not know for sure.

* C.B.O.A. (Central Bureau of Absolution)

* B.O.S. (Bureau of Supremacy)

* B.O.F. (Bureau of Fates)

* B.O.F. (Bureau of Furies aka/B.O.C.F. Bureau of Counter-Fate)don’t officially exist

* B.O.D. (Bureau of Damnation)

* S.O.U.L. (Senate of Unified Leaders):

The First Citizens of all existing nations on or controlled by Gaia/Geb (so even off-world nations). The title “First Citizen” can ONLY BE GRANTED BY PARLIAMENT.

* Imperial Consulate:

The Beastblooded Empire demanded their own SUPERIOR office be instated on Geb… so it was. They have official representatives in BOTH the Senate and the League, but higher ranking members of the Empire will usually supersede these governmental bodies and deal directly with the C.B.O.A. or The Executors.

* League of Nations:

The representatives of any number of CURRENTLY existing Countries on Geb or associated with Gebian politics. All of Geb’s most important and trusted allies throughout The Cosmos at large are allowed to sit in and make official requests/demands of the UGF here.

While General Yamamoto was engaging in her now infamous sacking of Al’Terra/Tellustria, she left behind a think tank of her most trusted advisers to lay the groundwork for Gaia’s longterm governmental structure. These advisers would eventually evolve into the organization simply known as “Yama no Kodomo-Tachi” or “Children of the Mountain” in reference to

Yamamoto-sama. (I’ll be referring to them as simply Yama from now on) Yama started working this problem even before she left, making sure that she took all her most ambitious military leaders with her when she invaded. None of them returned from Alterra alive as they were all deemed “too dangerous and unstable” to be leaders of the New Gaian Regime. The first thing you need to understand about Yama is that it’s membership is not made up of people motivated by personal gain, but instead by individuals who all genuinely believe their vision of the future is the best possible course for Gaia and her people to take. Though many of the steps they took and decisions they made were and are ethically questionable, Yama’s end goal is and always will be simply attempting to make Gaia a better place to live. To this end, there is very little they won’t do in defense of Gaia and her people. They immediately set about establishing the initial governmental infrastructure of the U.G.F. (United Gaian Federation), replacing the New World Order with a less… brutal regime. The U.G.F. was initially run by Yama and the Three Bureaus of Absolution:

Bureau of Supremacy (B.O.S.)-

Headed up by the aggressively intellectual Gaian Illithids as well as the stoic and loyal Freeforged that answer directly to Rosie Franklin, DOS would be in charge of presenting an insurmountable military presence on Gaia. They were put in charge of all UGF military operations henceforth and establishing a solid line of defense across all of Gaia. This meant first cleaning up the remaining warlords on Gaia’s surface and drafting some of them for the cause. DOS is superficially lead by the Grand General (sometimes Grand Admiral, as the branches take turns controlling total force movements), but is actually controlled by Archimedes and It’s invisible Illithid operatives.

Bureau of Fates/Furies [Counter-Fate](B.O.F./B.O.C.F.)-

As far as anyone on Gaia or any other world knows, there is only the DOF. The DOCF does not technically exist. The DOCF exists only within the vast spiritual Microcosm/Macrocosm of Kakuban, though They are more often called Niwashi(The Gardener). Niwashi has the ability to create a seemingly endless chain of pocket dimensions that exist hidden within the Ethereal Drift and uses this to completely conceal their Department. On the shiny DOF surface, Niwashi employs the use of their loyal Suijin(water spirits), headed up by Sui-ō/Suiten, as intelligence gatherers, analysts, decipherers, etc. On the flip side, Niwashi sends out their trusted Tengu and Kitsune operatives to spread misinformation and confusion about Gaia’s true motives and plans/spread destructive lies about the Al’Terran Republic. When drastic measures must be taken in secret, Shinobi agents are sent in to “clean up”.

Bureau of Damnation (B.O.D.)-

Death and Taxes. No really. The Pentagonal Skybreaker (like a skyscraper, but it’s coming down to earth from space…), in which BOD resides, is one of the Hellscapes carved out of Helheim and placed in Gaian orbit. Who or what did this is unknown, and asking Hel about it only sends her into a dimension-exploding tantrum. It has been renovated from its original, typical (Fire and Brimstone bleh) form into a surprisingly snazzy building equipped with all the latest corporate tech and ergonomically perfect furnishings. This, The Omega Complex, is divided into fifths with each fifth being an Agency and all it’s extraneous Departmental Heads. Four of the five Agencies serve under Inktongue, an unnamed Devil contracted by the Gaian government (most assume it to be Mephistopheles or some powerful relative of theirs). Inktongue’s Four-Fifths manage Tax Collection for Gaia, code for if the Gaian Government points at something and says “That’s ours actually” you better let them take it. Inktongue’s Tax Collectors are amongst the most feared, hated and capable fighters, spellcasters, tacticians, and all-around heartless blokes in all The Cosmos. If they come to “repo” something, better to just let it go. Should you somehow manage to somehow best a Tax Collector, you’ll only end up with a Black Seal on your Citizen’s Record. That’s where the fifth fifth comes in, the Department of Death to repo your soul. The DoD hires a number of “uniquely qualified” mortals to perform the duties of Reapers, as well as privately contracted entities like Shinigami, Dullahan, Anubis’ Jackals, etc. This Department acts as the

The initial Yama members were:

* Nikolai R. Franklin- (it is assumed this is a fake name, but next to nothing is known about the man. This is the only way to identify him by name) Geneticist, Biochemist, Physicist, etc. Seems to have travelled with Yamamoto since the earliest days of her travels, back when she was still exterminating all the daemons and undead in what was left of Japan. He was very noticeable as he was extremely loud, abrasive, and a crocodilian Itzamná (Lizardfolk) with metal teeth. Hunched over and always coughing as he was, this man’s research was pivotal in humanities’ survival as a whole. He had vast Alchemical knowledge and used it to create the first iterations of Arcane Gene Therapy. HE CREATED THE CURE FOR CANCER… though he was not given the appropriate respect for this during the brutal Ashen Age. He was able to come up with, if not cures, methods of greatly alleviating most of humanities then sickness and ailments. This allowed Yamamoto to draw vast numbers of new citizens in with the promise of Nikolai curing all that ailed them. Ironically, of all the high ranking members of her regime on this list, Nikolai was by far the most outspoken in his disgust for her brutal methods of Leadership. They were often caught arguing heatedly about Gaia’s future and he was quoted as saying “I escaped slavery only to be enslaved by the nation I helped build”, though no one knows enough about his past to verify this. He was extremely kind and nondiscriminatory towards those who just considered themselves refugees(the average citizen). Inversely, he would go out of his way to mock military members for being mindless dogs and use his Nonnegotiable status as Yamamoto’s right hand and lead scientist to prevent young, scientific minds from being drafted. The most controversial belief that he held was his OBSESSION with alchemically augmented gene-splicing and it’s “infinite” potential. He was more than happy to preach at anyone who would listen that “the only way for humanity, and consequently all Gaians, to survive the coming Age is for us to evolve as a combined species. TO CAST ASIDE OUR GENETIC SHACKLES AND EMRACE EVOLUTION WHOLEHEARTEDLY!!!” He very passionately pursued this avenue of research, attempting to find a way to perfectly merge all races and species on earth into one, perfect super-being…👀 yeeeeeea slightly problematic line of reasoning there, doc. Luckily for Gaians, he never finished his research. He sacrificed his dreams for his love of earth’s citizens and his desire to make Gaia a better home for them, becoming the first, true member of Yama. Nikolai died of several incurable ailments that were presumed, by his closest compatriots, to be the result of self-experimentation. He left behind his adopted daughter,

* Rosie Franklin, to lead the scientific development of Gaia (and continue his Arcane Splicing Experiments). Her origin is a complete unknown. She appears to be simply human, but never ages and possesses UNPRECEDENTED Psionic power and control. What IS known of her was learned the hard way. When Archimedes attempted to access Dr. Franklins computer, she single-handedly shut them down. This means she was able to psionically overwhelm the entire mindflayer colony with her mind alone. She also was witnessed telling Mr. English that he was not allowed entry to the lab area. When he ignored her, she kicked him in the balls. When he tried to temporally reverse the damage, it paradoxically remained. He was heard grumbling afterwards about being sealed out by a temporal void barrier and saying something about “damn mutant freaks”. She refuses to be in the same building as Niwashi, and they usually work on opposite sides of the world from each other. Perhaps her most terrifying power is her ability to gain seemingly absolute power over Gaia’s Cataclysmic Rifts. She can move their location, expand and contract them, and cause them to lead to different locations all together. Her and the Psions she trains are the only Psionic entities in the Cosmos who possess this ability, giving Gaia a supreme advantage over Alterra in terms of trans-dimensional mobility. She is not credited for increasing the number of psions born on Gaia, but those who have enough clearance to know she exists assume her genetic research is responsible in some way. She is universally feared by the other members of Yama, as they believe she has inherited maybe a little too much of her dad’s obsessiveness and radical ideals. Some even theorize that Nikolai lives on inside her mind, continuing his research endlessly. Oh, and they afraid she could probably kill them all without even trying. Archimedes theorizes that Dr. Franklin figured out the secret to increasing the genetic potential for both the Psionic gene AND the Sorcerous gene. If she truly is a Psionic Sorcerer, she would be able to use her Aether-infused Vitality to charge her brain infinitely, and her Psionic powers to perfectly control her own Aether. It would explain why she is always consulting with Beholders, as their abilities are extremely similar to her own.

* Sven C. L. English-The genius physicist who removed himself from Time and Space completely, accidentally casting himself into The Ginnungagap. When referring to the English who helped Yamamoto found the U.G.F. It’s impossible to know which version of him it was(is). If you think of the timeline as a whole, theoretically this could’ve been future English coming back, him right when he escaped the Ginnungagap, or him traveling forward or back from any point in the timeline that he’s “already been to”. Which is all of them. The moment he broke back into reality and time traveled the “very first time”, he instantly created an infinite number of himself that pop in and out of existence along the Remaining Time of the Cosmos. What version of him eventually returned to Earth and took part in rebuilding society and what exactly he told Yamamoto about possible futures can never truly be known. Why not time travel back and listen to him, you ask? Because the Final version of Mr. English is hunting himself and ANY OTHER time travelers down and eradicating them. How much impact they had before he kills them seems to be one of the deciding variables in when, where, how, and why he kills them. His final version is an immortal Eldritch entity that cannot be defeated as it seems to see people, not as their current selves, but as their sum total values to the Time-stream. If you come face to “face” with The Final English, It already knows everything you’ve done, can do, will do. It knows your exact strengths and weaknesses in that exact moment. It knows all the potential end results of your thoughts and actions. It remembers being you in a paradoxical previous timeline that no longer exists, and understands you just as well as you do. This version of him is referred to, by Alice Winchester, as Mr. Dark Moon or just The Reaper, because if It reveals itself to you…it’s basically already finished killing you. MORAL OF THE STORY! Just don’t time travel. Ever. His contributions are minimal, but he does pop in and change seemingly inane and random aspects of Gaia’s government and history from time to time. As egotistical and sneeringly annoying as he can be sometimes, Mr. English USUALLY has Earthborn humanities’ best interests at heart. (He’s just not good at showing it…and also constantly afraid he’s about to be killed by himself at any moment)

* Archimedes-It remains unclear whether Archimedes is an A.I. or an organic life form for the entire history of Gaia. The running theory of those in the know is that it was once the Elder Brain of Earth’s Illithid (Mindflayer) colony. Though Illithids (Mindflayers) are not fully a hive mind, they do have a central psionic communication hub called the Elder Brain. They can choose to share thoughts amongst each other if they wish, as well as wield far greater psionic might if they must. Unfortunately, this also acts as their greatest weakness, as damage to the Elder Brain will inevitably ripple outwards and affect all members of the colony. This is what happened on Earth when the Elder Brain got irradiated and began driving it’s own colony insane. Yamamoto stepped in (with suspiciously perfect timing) and offered the colony a deal. She would save their Elder Brain if they served her and Gaia for the remainder of their stay on this world. They trepidatiously agreed, granting her and her scientists access to the Elder Brain. Whether or not it was necessary to cybernetically enhance the Central Brain is lost to time. The Illithids themselves assume this was simply Yamamoto using them as Guinea pigs in her constant experiments, though they hold no grudges. Being connected to the Server Essential Computer of the New World Order greatly increased the Elder Brain’s power and psionic range of abilities. It also granted the Elder Brain an alarming amount of autonomy. It suddenly referred to itself as Archimedes and seemed more interested in preserving Gaia than the Illithid colony. The Illithids were a little peeved, claiming they had been duped, but they eventually came around and declared themselves equal citizens of Gaia. It cannot be stressed enough how necessary to Gaia’s survival Archimedes has been. With the ability to control and improve any technology, magical or otherwise, psionic range wide enough to reach across multiple realms and dimensions telepathically, and the ability/DESIRE to add anyone, regardless of race or psionic ability, who’s willing to fight for Gaia’s cause to its psionic network make it much closer to a Deity than an Elder Brain. The sheer, overwhelming power Archimedes wields makes it more than a match for most minor deities, elder gods, and The Ascendent/Godenders. This keeps the most powerful enemies of Gaia at bay, for fear of Archimedes’ wrath. Some Gaian Illithids are opposed to the addition of other races to their centralized mental unit, but they’ve been largely outvoted every time. Archimedes thinks of all Gaians as members of it’s super-colony, and always makes the most logical choices to defend and support ALL citizens. This is why Yamamoto trusted Archimedes wholeheartedly. Knowing that, of all the members of Yama, Archimedes motives were truly pure. It’s true location is unknown, even to itself. Potentially, Archimedes exists only in digital space and not physically at all, making it all the more comparable to a Deity or powerful spirit.

* Shōgaku-bō Kakuban/ Amida (a Buddha?)/ or Niwashi(The Gardener)- No one knows where Niwashi came from (a recurring theme on this list, I know. The idea is that all these individuals are not just powerful, but also EXCEPTIONALLY skilled at concealing information about themselves. Only their archenemies, The Ascendent, seem to even know of their existence at all) or when/why/how exactly they joined Yamamoto’s ragtag band of freaks. Niwashi seems to function much like a dream, they appear in the middle of things and disappear whenever they please. No one except Yamamoto herself seemed to understand what their motives for defending Gaia could even be, but they continue to do an excellent job of it and thus, are indispensable. Niwashi’s true form has never been seen, as they always wear a burgundy body suit made from some kind of velvety material covering every millimeter of their slender body. There doesn’t appear to be clasps or buttons of any kind, but Niwashi also always wears some form of traditional Buddhist robe, so even that can’t be verified.

[assmaster-8000]

im so fucking sick because even if there were a person he could befriend or fall in love with they'd eventually die and leave him all alone. unless he acquires an immortal vampire friend, but even then they can still be killed and hunted down. LIKE BRO IS DESTINED FOR LONELINESS AND DESPAIR IM SO SAD 😍😍😍🤞🤞🤞I CANT FUCKING DO THIS

like imagine if sypha, trevor, and adrian had an additional member to their lets go fuck dracula up squad. they could leave him like sypha and trevor did in search of new pursuits and he'd be alone in the confines of his self-damnation. they could stay with adrian and he'd have one companion he went through thick and thin with and is the only true friend or lover he has and they still die at some point. maybe he had more time to spend with them, but wouldn't the memories haunt him more? knowing that years and years of laughter and moans and cries and screams will no longer fill the castle? if they have children with adrian they'd be dhampir too. they'd see all their mortal loved ones die just like adrian has. how could he do that to them?

i would have been driven mad if i was made to see all whom i have ever loved die and i can't join them naturally. i can't age with them and i can't grow with them and ill always be a bitter reminder that what i have is eternal and what they have is not. if i were adrian i would have lost my marbles centuries ago. and not to mention change of eras? technology emerges and so does urbanization and the cultures and the traditions of the past he could take comfort in are obsolete. the foods. the practices. the clothes. the sights. everything. how painful is that? to live is to change and to change is to know loss.

and i refused to watch season 4 of castlevania because i heard greta was his love interest n my delusional ass went "NO adrian is MY pookie bear" BUT EVEN IF HE FOUND HAPPINESS WITH GRETA HE'D STILL LOSE HER BRUV 😭😭😭 he'd see the children of her village age and die and be born and age and die and be born and age and die OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL THEY DO NOT EVEN REMEMBER HOW THEIR VILLAGE BECAME AFFILIATED WITH THIS BLOND STRANGER.

so whatever he does, he's destined for suffering. he's too kind to subject someone to the Horrors of eternity. he wouldn't ever turn someone into a vampire. he couldn't dare to dream of it.

children? he couldn't possibly.

friends? its bleak and cruel.

a lover? a partner? a husband or a wife or a spouse? even crueler.

even if they wanted to, he couldn't bear to let them go through what he has just for him.

vampire companions? bound to be killed.

werewolves? bound to be killed.

any other strange being? bound to be killed.

it's only a matter of time until he is given eternal reprieve as well. till then, here he is.

After the release of the official Nocturne trailer, we're all asking where Alucard is.

Here's my two cents and two theories:

Theory 1: The Years Got to Him

Being effectively immortal, Alucard would have watched Trevor and Sypha die, and then he inevitably would have watched their children die, and then their grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

How long would it have been before couldn't bear the thought of seeing another life he'd known since birth age and pass away? How many times did he recognize Sypha's laugh or Trevor's eyes in their descendants before he said, "No more. I can't do this any more."

So he puts himself to sleep with the instructions to the family to wake him 'in their darkest hour' or something like that. Over time, he becomes a family legend and then forgotten. In his absence, the Belmont village crumbles and disappears, taking with it all the knowledge and advancements its people.

Because as we know from the original series, humans forget.

...

Theory 2: The Belmonts Drove Him Out

I know what you're thinking: Trevor and Sypha would never. And you're right, they wouldn't. Their children and grandchildren probably wouldn't either. By the time we get to Christopher Belmont, he probably never met his great-grandparents, but he would know the stories and honor their memories.

But in the two hundred years between him and Richter?

The Belmonts are a long-lasting family, and like any other family, they can adapt and go through changes. They are subject to past traumas and prejudices, can lose sight of original purposes, or can straight up become corrupted by any number of things.

We see it with kings, emperors, CEOs, and even just regular families. All it takes is one asshole who chose to ignore the wisdom of his ancestors to ruin a good thing.

Say some Belmont down the line--Soleil, Simon, or Juste or anyone--lost someone important to a vampire and they swore vengeance on the entire race, as Dracula had once done on humanity. Alucard steps in to stop them and remind them of their history, and his words are met with a cold, "What do you know? You're just an old dhampir we should have done away with decades ago!"

This is just a scenario, but it is a possibility Alucard could have had a falling out with his family. Maybe they tried to kill him and he fled. Maybe they nearly succeeded in killing him and he sealed himself in his coffin to recover as he did in the original series.

He's no stranger to betrayal, after all.

This would depend heavily on the 'dear person' Olrox lost. Was their death warranted? Were they a menace to society and had to be put down?

Or have the Belmonts gone astray and Richter's mother killed them simply for existing? This option might be indicative as to why Olrox spared Richter. Killing a defenseless child would have saved him a lot of trouble in the future, but perhaps he chose to be better (the lesson learned in the original series) than the mother and risk the consequences later. Mother might have killed just because of a vampire, but Olrox refused to kill just because Richter was a Belmont.

...

Unrelated, but this could also be a set-up a 'break the chain of sorrow' trope in which this scenario played out: Richter's father was killed by Olrox's 'friend' for lack of a better word, Richter's mother then kills Olrox's friend out of vengeance, Olrox kills her out of vengeance, leaving Richter to either take vengeance himself or break the chain of sorrow by accepting that if this revenge continues, there will be nothing left but sorrow.

I'm probably putting way too much thought into all of this, but...there you go.

[spoiler1001]

Lords of Shadow Maria fic.

To an immortal Time truly begins to lose all meaning and if one were to become cruel, the passage of time made connections to mortals worthless. It would be fairer to say that to be a vampire was just a state of eternal undeath and less like eternal life. A lifetime as a tree would be closer to eternal life. 

Alucard, a vampire formally known as Trevor Belmont, opened his eyes, pulling himself away from his thoughts of self-doubt and self-damnation. His gaze was locked in front of him, his head leaning against the glass. The rain beat against the other side of the glass. The noise drowned out his spiral. The sound of heartbeats and wet stomping approaching his hideout drew his attention. Alucard paused grabbing at a sword he no longer carried. After 200 years he still had that habit of grabbing that sword. 

Alucard sighed, leaning back. His shelter was barely large enough to hold his large stature comfortably. It was comparable to a prison cel, however self inflicted staying here wasl. The wet wood smelled like humidity and plants. Alucard sat near the bottom of a large stained glass mural of some angel fighting evil. Looking through it allowed him to see the incoming mobs, hoods nhiding their face. Lighting struck sporadically filling the room with picks and blues. Rain fell harder, sounding like rocks heating against the glass, threatening to break it. 

The footsteps grew closer. Alucard lifted his head to look at the heavy wooden door that marked the entrance of this building. It was once a holy building, one long abandoned by the deacons as members of their following succumbed to consumption and the town surrounding the building succumbed to fires and was reclaimed by nature. The holy men remembered to at least grab the holy artifacts while they moved on to the next town as they wept and grieved for the town they had left to rot. 

Despite the sound of the angry storm beating down on the building, there was a knock on the heavy door. The sound echoed through the room, kicking up dirt. Alucard raised an eyebrow at the gesture, an ambush rarely had the manners to announce itself. The group had a distinct smell, of ash and mud, their hearts beating rapidly in fear, even through the wooden door. Their breathing and small comments sounded muffled by helmets and face coverings. After a moment of Alucard not responding a second knock came louder. Alucard reached down and gripped a dagger strapped to his thigh. Solid steel lovingly coated blue and with a black cloth wrapped around it as a handle and a wolf carved into the blade. One more angry loud knock and Alucard stood up, the ceiling barely tall enough to allow him to stand up straight and not hit his head on the ceiling. He opened the door, the hinges screaming in protest. 

In the 200 years since Alucard set the plan in motion with his father, The Brotherhood of Light still had not used any new armor for the foot soldiers. The steel was cracked and rusted, and the helmets were missing pieces and falling apart around the men. What he could see of them, they were young, inexperienced in battle. 

A moment passed in silence. Finally, the man in front lifted the visor from his face. Alucard could see in his cheeks alone that Adulthood has yet to start chiseling away at the youth in his face. Awe and horror filled the expressions.

“We come with orders from Lady Renard.” The leader of the group said, a slight shake in his voice. 

“I am no longer affiliated with your brotherhood, orders mean nothing to me.” Alucard responded back, almost coldly.

“Then consider it a favor for a friend.” The man countered and handed Alucard a scroll in a metal case. 

With a clenched jaw, Alucard took the metal tube and stepped back into his sanctuary, slamming the door closed. After a minute of quiet the group left, mud sticking to them and pulling them into the ground with a slick squishing sound. 

Alucard gently opened the scroll and ran his fingers over the paper. His face was stoically neutral as he read the words etched into it. There was no change in his face, but his nails dug into the paper, poking holes in it. Alucard placed it back into the case, and turned on his heels, opening the door, and running into the storm.

[festering-cadaver]