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waterhousse · 8 months ago

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I Saw Her For the First Time

I saw her for the first time, and I was lonely for the last time

Pairing: modern!ellie williams x reader

Summary: you’re practically the girl of her dreams. it’s a shame her friend saw you first.

Author’s note: HELLO i’m back at it again with pure fluff. i didn’t know exactly how to label this one so i just put modern ellie but it has a little bit of guitarist ellie and also nerdy ellie. hope you like it !

Photo creds: elliesxgun and vamp4r3 on pinterest :)

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• • • •

ellie was absentmindedly playing a made-up melody on her guitar, softly strumming away as she listened to the conversation her friends were having. lisa, her roomate and vocalist of her band, was telling everyone about the new girl she had been talking to. it was the first time she heard your name.

"she's hot,” was dina's final veredict once she was done scrolling through your profile. she passed the phone to jesse, who immediately agreed.

“i know. she’s really cool and funny but she’s really into comics and fantasy movies and i don’t know shit about that.”

"so, she's a nerd."

"basically, but a pretty one. it’s just that ninety percent of the time i don't know what the hell she's talking about." lisa's complaint was followed by a tired sigh as she threw her head back on the couch. then, she looked to her side, where ellie was. "she reminds me of you, actually."

she instantly frowned, "are you calling me a nerd?"

“i mean…” jesse trailed off before dodging the water bottle ellie threw at him.

"you like all those things, right? maybe you could help me with her."

"help you how, exactly?"

"well, i kinda already told her i like all of what she mentioned so whenever that comes up you'll take over and say whatever makes me look cool."

"what's in it for me?"

ellie sat emotionless as her friend began listing everything she could do for her in exchange for her help, such as deep cleaning the apartment or buying her favorite snacks every day.

she let out a low whistle, “someone's desperate.”

“dude—”

“why can’t you just talk to her about something else?”

“because i already told her i liked all of that stuff! keep up.” lisa rolled her eyes. “tell me if it’s not worth it.” she quickly typed in your instagram username and passed the phone to her.

ellie’s eyes almost widened at the sight of you, but she managed to mask her reaction just in time. she silently scrolled down your instagram profile, clicking on the posts that caught her attention the most.

"so, what do you think?"

"uh, she's alright."

you were more than alright.

"you have such high standards,” dina huffed.

yes, and you apparently met them all.

lisa snatched the phone back from her hands as the group began discussing a new topic; ellie’s picky taste in women, even when they practically threw themselves at her. it had been a while since her friends last saw her on a date or even having a crush.

ellie threw her head back with a groan as she stood up from the couch, “are you going to keep talking about me or are we gonna rehearse?”

their band was a regular on friday nights at one of their town’s most popular bars. over the time they had been playing there, they had gathered an audience of people that went to see them. ellie would hate to disappoint them, or maybe she just hated when the conversation was centered around her.

“i think we’re gonna keep talking about you,” dina joked as she picked up her bass.

once rehearsal was over, lisa practically ran to her phone to check if she had any new messages from you. apparently, she had asked to go on a date next week and you had said yes.

“you’re gonna to have to teach me everything you know,” lisa mumbled to ellie with her eyes glued to the phone as she quickly typed her reply to you.

“great, just how i wanted to spend my free time.”

even though ellie had no real interest in doing that favor to her friend, she stuck to her word. whenever the “nerdy topics”, has lisa had called them, came up, she took over the conversation. that part of the plan wasn’t awful, in fact, ellie secretly enjoyed the moments she got to talk to you, but she had to keep reminding herself that you weren’t actually talking to her, but lisa.

it had been a confusing last couple of days.

“just try to not let those topics come up in the conversation and if they do, just agree with everything she says,” ellie advised lisa, because not even her intensive teaching could help the poor girl to memorize anything. “re-read the conversations i had with her. that could work. especially the one we're having right now."

“you’re trying to sound like me, right?”

“sure, i’m making some spelling mistakes and everything.”

“fuck you,” lisa laughed from the bathroom. “alright, tell her i’m on my way.”

“remember to read the last few messages in case she brings them up.”

“thanks, el. see you later!” and with that, she was out of their shared apartment.

ellie sighed, dramatically plopping down on the couch. she swept her gaze over the living room in hopes to find something to do to keep her mind occupied, but nothing seemed appealing enough. she used her phone for a bit, but she couldn’t fully concentrate on what she was seeing.

after tossing and turning for a while, she ended up falling asleep. it wasn’t until two hours later she was suddenly woken up by lisa’s voice mixed with somebody else’s. the sound of the door shutting closed was what made her fully open her eyes, instantly setting them on the two people that had just entered the apartment.

“sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up,” lisa apologized, but ellie didn’t even acknowledge her. instead, she looked past her friend to the person behind her.

you were standing there, an apologetic and slightly embarrassed look on your face. “i didn’t mean to intrude, i’m sorry.”

ellie sat up straight, her fingers combing through her short hair in an attempt to make herself more presentable. “it’s fine, don’t worry.”

an adorable smile formed on your lips, “you’re ellie, right?”

you didn’t wait for her confirmation and proceeded to introduce yourself while she thought about how crazy it was that you didn’t know how many times you two had already spoken.

ellie remained silent, watching you smile shyly at her. then, she realized she hadn’t said anything in a while and it was probably really weird. “it— it’s really nice to meet you.”

“i’m going to the bathroom, i’ll be right back,” lisa said before gesturing you to take a seat on the couch.

hesitantly, you sat down next to ellie. there was another moment of silence in which you looked at her with uncertainty, fearing she might be uncomfortable with your presence. you didn’t know if it’d be best for you to talk to her or to just wait for lisa to come back, not wanting things to get even more awkward.

when ellie returned one of your quick glances, you decided to say something.

“sorry about coming here without letting you know first. i can’t go home yet, my roommate has a guy over,” you admitted with a grimace.

ellie nodded, laughing softly at the reason you were there. “i don’t mind, really.”

“thanks, anyway,” you grinned.

“so, how’d the date go?”

“uh, good.” your answer wasn’t completely honest, ellie could tell. she narrowed your eyes at you, not wanting to pry but at the same time dying to know.

“are you sure about that?”

“you’re her friend, i can’t gossip about her with you.”

“we’re actually not that close.”

you playfully bumped your shoulder into hers before your eyes set on her for a few seconds. she tilted her head as she returned your gaze, silently trying to convince you to talk.

“i don’t know if you’re very persuasive or if i’m just too weak.”

ellie’s smile widened as you sighed, giving in.

“i had a great time,” you began, searching for the right words to say, “but we didn’t hit it off as well as we did through text.”

“that’s weird.” her mumbled words were followed by an awkward chuckle.

“yeah, i know. don’t get me wrong, though, she’s great, but it felt like i was hanging out with a friend. that spark, i guess, you hope to feel on a first date just wasn’t there.”

ellie nodded as she took your words in. “i’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

“oh, it’s fine. we talked about it on the way here. it’s all good. actually, she invited me to see you guys play on friday. you’re the guitarist, right?”

“yeah,” ellie smiled proudly, sitting more comfortably on the couch. “we’re really good. well, you’ll see for yourself. don’t wanna get your expectations too high.”

“it might be a little too late for that,” you replied just as lisa came back.

there was a smile on her lips, she had managed to hear the last bit of the conversation. “we’re great, actually.”

you hummed, “we’ll see.”

“hey, want me to show you the records i was telling you about?”

“can you tell me where the bathroom is, first?”

“sure, it’s the door at the end of the hallway. come to my room afterwards.”

“got it.” you nodded as you stood up from the couch, ellie’s curious eyes following you.

she looked away just in time, because lisa’s gaze fell upon her the moment you were out of sight. “what do you think?”

“she’s cool. plus, she friendzoned you so i gotta give her more points for that.”

“she did not friendzone me!” she protested in a hushed voice. “we friendzoned each other, it was a mutual decision.”

“sure, lis, whatever you say.” ellie went to her room immediately after that, not giving her a chance to defend herself.

she was feeling strangely happy about the outcome of lisa’s date. her friend had always been a player, taking advantage of her ‘rockstar’ status. ellie had done that, too, but lisa loved to be involved with multiple people at the same time. with the short interactions ellie had shared with you, she knew you deserved better than that.

ellie opened her bedroom door as she hummed a melody, not expecting to have company. you were by her bed, closely inspecting one of her action figures. she stood under the doorframe, momentarily frozen at the sight. then, a soft chuckle escaped her lips, alerting you of her presence.

“i’ve been meaning to get this for a while—” you began saying, stopping yourself mid-sentence once you looked up and realized that it was ellie the one standing there and not lisa. “oh, hey. what’s up?”

ellie just smiled as she made her way to her bed under your confused stare. “nothing much,” ellie casually replied as she threw herself on the bed. “just love the comfort of my room, y’know?”

your eyebrows rose slightly, immediately leaving the action figure where you found it, “your room? i’m sorry! there were stickers on the door of lisa’s favorite characters—”

ellie laughed as you kept apologizing. she propped herself onto her elbows, waiting for you to be done with your rambling.

“i promise i didn’t touch anything else.”

“it’s okay, i don’t mind,” ellie answered with a half-smile.

“so, this stuff is all yours?” you asked, sweeping your gaze around the room. it was decorated with a bunch of fantasy movies posters and, on the shelves, there were different book collections as well as many other action figures of, coincidentally, most of your favorite characters.

“uh, yeah.”

“i see…” you hummed before your eyes met hers again.

ellie swallowed hard, her confidence quickly fading away. “lisa and i have practically the same taste,” she was quick to explain, hoping you wouldn’t catch the pathetic quiver on her voice.

“right… okay, i’ll see you friday, then?”

“yeah, see you friday.”

you gave her one last smile before stepping out of her room. it wasn’t until she was alone that she became aware of her racing heart. she laid back on the bed, bringing her hands to her face as she let out a heavy sigh.

that night, ellie fell asleep trying to convince herself that you hadn’t figured out she was behind some of lisa’s texts, that you hadn’t been capable of reading her that well after that short conversation.

ellie woke up the next day ready to avoid thinking about the issue as much as she could, but the universe seemed to conspire against her.

the band was having a break from rehearsal, each of them sprawled around jesse’s garage. ellie had taken her friend’s place behind the drums, absentmindedly playing a beat that faltered when dina brought up your name in a conversation she wasn’t even participating in.

“she’s coming to see us play even after you fucked up the date? woah, maybe i underestimated you.”

“i didn’t fuck up the date.” lisa rolled her eyes.

ellie snickered from her place, “then why were you back at the apartment at, like, 10 p.m?”

“whatever. we both decided it was best for us to stay as friends.”

“i believe you, don’t worry.” jesse gave her a pat on her back before mouthing ‘i don’t’ to ellie and dina, who secretly laughed. “okay, ladies, let’s get back to work. we don’t wanna make ourselves look bad infront of lisa’s new friend, right?”

“yeah, she’s got pretty high expectations,” ellie mentioned as she picked up her guitar. the smile on her face didn’t go unnoticed by her friends.

“you talked to her?”

she looked up at dina’s question, who was staring at her, intrigued. ellie frowned, her guitar pick between her teeth as she tied her hair up in a short, low ponytail.

“yeah, why? i’m not some antisocial freak, y’know?”

“every time i take someone home you lock yourself in your room until they leave,” lisa snorted.

“this time i was caught by surprise. i wasn’t expecting you to come back so early,” ellie chuckled at the last part.

“fuck you, ellie,” lisa complained. “y’know what? let’s just get this over with before i stick this microphone up your—”

“okay, fine, fine. calm down.”

rehearsal went by smoothly with the four of them behaving as profesional as they could, sometimes jesse went off beat to annoy them or ellie would zone out in the middle of a song. still, they had mastered their set and they were definitely ready to play, but there was a deep, strange feeling inside ellie.

it took her a while to figure out she was nervous about the upcoming show. it had been a while since that happened to her, so it was extremely weird for her. the anxiety stayed with her until the following day, and it had actually gotten worse.

ellie ended up going on stage with that horrible feeling still present in the pit of her stomach. she tried to remind herself that it was just another show but, at the same, she knew it wasn’t. knowing you’d be in the audience had definitely affected her, but she didn’t want to look further into what that could possibly mean.

maybe she didn’t come, the thought came to mind in an attempt of calming herself down. perhaps if she repeated it enough she’d fool herself into thinking it was actually true.

she was obviously wrong.

you were there, tapping your fingers against the drink you had ordered. just as you were taking a sip, the lights dimmed and the loud chatter became whispering voices that were soon interrupted by the sound of a guitar.

four spotlights shone brightly on the band and you quickly recognized the other two members you had yet to meet. dina on the bass and jesse on the drums. lisa was at the front, she moved confidently on stage, but your eyes inevitably fell on the girl behind her.

ellie was bobbing her head to the beat of the song, eyes glued to the floor. your mouth opened slightly at the sight, it was hypnotic seeing her play. you inhaled deeply, unable to tear your gaze away from her.

it wasn’t until the ending of the second song ellie first looked up. it was only a quick glance at the crowd, but her eyes coincidentally landed on you, making her do a quick double-take. her eyebrows rose, not expecting to find you so soon.

ellie unconsciously licked her lips as she took you in, trying her best not to mess up the song. she forced herself to look away from you and swept her gaze around the place, searching for anything else to focus on. it was in that moment when a girl waving frenetically at her from the side of the stage caught her eye. she was a regular, friday after friday she’d tried to make ellie look at her for more than five seconds but she never succeeded.

your eyes hadn’t left her, so you had been watching the interaction with immense curiosity. you tried to see who that other girl was, but you lost sight of her. when you looked back at ellie, you met her eyes again. there was an amused, teasing grin on her face, which made you laugh.

ellie played the rest of the set practically on autopilot, because she had her full attention on you. to her, you were the only person on the audience. she was performing for you, proudly showing off her skills and with her nerves long forgotten.

your experience wasn’t much different than hers. to you, ellie was the only member in the band worth watching. not that the others were bad or anything of the sort, but there was just something about ellie that made it hard for you to look away. she was too entrancing. the slight smirk she had while playing, the way her hands looked and the prolonged eye contact that she broke from time to time only to close her eyes and get lost in what she was playing.

your world went silent once they got off stage, even though the sound of the people talking around you was incredibly loud. with your head still buzzing, you decided it was best for you to go outside to get some air.

you didn’t mind how cold the night was. you stayed there for what it seemed to be an eternity, getting too caught up in your own mind to realize it had only been a couple of minutes.

your peace was interrupted with the sound of a notification. it was lisa, asking you where you were. outside, you replied and waited for her to come out.

you didn’t expect her showing up with the rest of the band.

lisa was the first to appear in front of you, the huge smile on her face as she went to hug you caused a smile of your own to form. dina and jesse were next, greeting you with nods of acknowledgment and friendly smiles.

“hey! what’d you think?”

“you guys were great!” the compliment left your lips just as your eyes settled on the person who had stayed behind. “hey, ellie.”

her head shot up at the mention of her name, seemingly surprised you had chosen to address her. “hi,” she said before quickly looking away.

before you had the chance to read into ellie’s awkward response, lisa spoke up, drifting your attention away from the guitarist.

“wanna come to our place? it’s movie night.”

the invitation was definitely tempting, but you weren’t sure if dina and jesse would be okay with it. even ellie could be opposed to it, judging by the way her eyes appeared tone avoiding you at all costs.

“uh, i mean, if you guys are okay with me being there—”

“of course we are, c’mon,” jesse immediately replied, placing an arm around your shoulders. “now, tell me all about how you friendzoned lisa…”

you chuckled lightly as you let him guide you to the car, briefly glancing over your shoulder hoping to meet ellie’s eyes. she didn’t look at you once, which made a feeling of uncertainty creep up onto you.

dina, jesse and lisa were the ones who talked the most during the ride. their lighthearted conversation helped to put yours’ and ellie’s racing minds at ease, at least for a bit.

you were still wondering why ellie was avoiding you so blatantly. you were so incredibly caught up in your own thoughts that you failed to notice the pair of green eyes that were watching you through the rear view mirror.

from her place on the copilot seat, ellie’s gaze flickered from you to lisa before looking back ahead.

she could easily ignore you, right?

once you arrived af the apartment, everyone quickly settled on the couches and browsed different streaming sites in search of a movie to watch and criticize.

“this looks shitty enough, what do you guys think?”

“i already watched that,” ellie spoke up for the first time since you were there.

“you have to much free time on your hands, el. i’m sure not even the actors in it watched it.”

the (already poorly done) plan of trying to act normal in your presence quickly fell apart when the sound of your laugh made her look at you and, oh, how she wished she hadn’t.

“i’ve watched it, too. it is pretty shitty, by the way,” you said, not noticing her stare.

ellie’s lips slightly parted as she looked at yours. the same feeling that had taken over her on stage came back to her and she found herself unable to tear her eyes away from you.

god, she was fucked.

“ellie, go bring some blankets and pillows,” lisa told her from the comfort of the biggest couch, waking her up from her trance.

“why don’t you go?”

“i’m too tired.”

“i can help, if you want,” you offered, your eyes meeting hers for the first time since your awkward interaction outside the bar.

ellie was going to tell you that you didn’t have to, but she accepted your help before her mind could catch up with her mouth. you silently followed her to her room. it was the biggest one, so, therefore, she had the biggest closet where they stored a lot of stuff, including extra blankets and pillows.

“here you go, this is the warmest one.” ellie handed you a blanket. “if lisa tries to take it from you, just tell her to fuck off.”

you chuckled, “got it.”

you took the liberty to look around as she searched for the rest of them. her room was definitely a glimpse of who ellie was, you instantly could tell she was an artsy person combined with a nerdy side. various sketches were laying on her desk, as well as books about astronomy and many, many books about dinosaurs. she had a pile of them stacked on her nightstand.

you walked towards them, leaving the blanket on top of her bed.

“you like dinosaurs?”

well, she couldn’t ignore you when you were alone. that would be just plain rude.

“everybody likes dinosaurs,” she replied, standing on her tiptoes to reach the last pillow. she didn’t know why she had put them so high.

“to this amount?” you picked one of the books and glanced through the pages. ‘The Great Dinosaur Debate’, it read on the cover.

ellie walked over to you, “is it my fault that they’re interesting?”

you looked up from the book, a playful grin on your lips, “you’re a nerd.”

“look who’s talking.”

“how would you know if i’m a nerd?”

“lisa talks.” and we have, too, actually. several times, she completed the sentence inwardly.

you rolled your eyes, “at least i don’t pretend to be cool on stage.”

“i’m not pretending, i am cool. the best of both worlds, right?” she gloated with an arrogant smile.

you left the book back on the pile and grabbed another one, “you know, i’ve always wanted to learn more about dinosaurs. maybe learn from someone who knows a lot would be nice,” you casually mentioned, hoping ellie would take the hint.

“oh, i have a lot of books i could lend you. these guys know everything.”

she didn’t.

you tilted your head to the side, unable to erase the smile off your face. it was difficult to believe the ellie standing in front you was the same ellie who was on stage an hour ago.

“sure, i’d love that.” with that, you grabbed the blanket ellie had given you and a bunch of pillows and went back to the living room. ellie followed you closely, throwing each of her friends a blanket.

they had finally decided on a movie, so once you and ellie were back they pressed play.

it was a cheap movie about the end of the world and the actors were almost as bad as the special effects. ellie would‘ve found it hilarious if she had been able to focus on it.

you were sitting on the floor with your back against the couch, wrapped up in the blanket she had given you. from where she was, ellie had a perfect view of your side-profile and, even though she felt like a creep, she couldn’t help her gaze from falling on you. especially when you laughed at her friend’s jokes or chimed in with one of your one.

it was practically torture.

once the movie ended, she felt like she could finally breathe again. dina turned the lights back on and, naturally, the first thing ellie did was look at you. it surprised her to find that you were already looking at her.

“i thought you had fallen asleep. you didn’t talk once.”

“i was just too caught up in the movie.” she averted her gaze from you to her shoes, knowing damn well she couldn’t tell you what the hell the movie was about.

unaware of her white lie, you nodded as you continued folding the blankets everyone had left on the couch. “want me to help you take these back to your room?”

“uh, yeah— yes. sure, let’s go,” ellie pathetically tripped over her words before leading the way.

you followed closely, your mouth curving into a small smile at her answer.

silence enveloped the two of you when you entered her bedroom for the second time. you handed her the neatly folded blankets and watched as she stored them.

“i didn’t get a chance to tell you how well you played tonight,” you spoke up, making her glance back at you for a second.

“you think?” she smiled before putting away the last blanket.

you hummed, “couldn’t keep my eyes off you.”

ellie’s heart skipped a beat at the memory of your eyes following her every move. it was a miracle she had her back facing you and you didn’t witness the way an obvious flush spread across her face. “i take it i exceeded your expectations, then?”

“yeah, absolutely.”

sending you a coy smile, she clasped her hands together behind her back. “told you so,” she said as she walked past you.

you went back to the living room, where you found the rest of the group vivaciously talking about something that, apparently, didn’t concern you or ellie by the way they went quiet when they saw you two approach.

“guys? i think i’m gonna go. it’s getting pretty late—”

“ellie will drive you home,” jesse quickly said, making the aforementioned look up at him, disoriented.

“huh?”

“yeah?” you looked at her, lips pulling into a small smile.

who could say no to that face?

jesse threw ellie the car keys, mouthing ‘you’re welcome’ while you hugged dina and lisa goodbye. she frowned, silently inquiring what did he mean by that before setting her gaze on you.

“you ready?” ellie asked from the doorframe, waiting for you.

the cold breeze from the night hit the both of you the moment you stepped outside. given how late it was, the neighborhood was deadly quiet. the only thing interrupting the silence was the sound of your footsteps.

ellie held the passenger’s door open for you and gifted you a smile when you thanked her, slightly touching her arm. she let out a shaky breath before getting in the car herself.

after giving her your adress, she started driving in silence. her knuckles were turning white due to the tight grip she had on the wheel.

trying to be as discreet as possible, ellie glanced at you from the corner of her eyes but, once again, she met your gaze.

“what?” she couldn’t help but ask, a smile slowly forming on her lips.

you laughed softly, taking your eyes off her and looking down at your fidgeting hands. “oh, nothing.”

“right…” ellie set her eyes back on the road as she turned on the radio.

the quietness of the night got interrupted by the sound of ‘i want to know what love is’ by foreigner. both of you instantly looked at each other when you recognized the song and burst out laughing.

“woah, setting the mood?”

it surprised you when her sheepish tone changed into a slight teasing one, matching yours, “i don’t know, is it working?”

“maybe, maybe.”

the laughter gradually quieted down, letting the cheesy song’s chorus fill the silence. you shot ellie a quick glance, smiling to yourself as you listen to the lyrics.

“it is great song, though,” you commented.

“classic,” ellie added, eyes on the road.

“absolutely.”

you arrived at your place not much longer after that, since your building wasn’t that far away from hers. ellie turned off the engine and looked at you just as you turned your head to her.

“thank you for driving me and for giving me the warmest blanket. especially for the blanket.”

“you’re welcome.” the smile that ellie sent you back was a little too sweet for you to be able to function properly.

you forced yourself to look away from her, not wanting to look like a creep. unfortunately, you appeared to be destined to embarrass yourself that night one way or another. when you tried to unbuckle your seatbelt, it got stuck. you struggled in silence for a bit before giving up and looking at ellie, who had obviously noticed what was going on and was staring at you amusedly.

ellie leaned over, laughing softly at your helpless expression. “i told jesse a million times to sell this piece of crap and buy a new car,” she murmured, shaking her head.

she was close, way too close. your eyes automatically placed on her, as they always seemed to do ever since you met her. a small smile appeared on your lips when you heard her mutter a series of curses under her breath.

“there.” she returned to her seat, giving you the space you needed to regulate your breathing but, at the same time, the space you didn’t want. you happened to like having her close.

“thank you,” you grinned, but your smile faltered a little when you realized that you had to leave. maybe you were being overly dramatic, but you didn’t know when you were going to see her again, so you couldn’t help but feel disappointed that the night had come to an end. “see you around, ellie. thank you for driving me.”

“see you.” her voice was barely above a whisper.

ellie waited for you to be inside your building before leaving. you waved at her one last time, making a smile appear on her lips.

she didn’t put on music on the drive back home. it was just her alone with her thoughts. it was funny, they all seemed to revolve around you.

she went to sleep that night feeling guilty. it wasn’t right for her to be thinking about you that way. it didn’t matter it hadn’t worked out, lisa had liked you first. you were off-limits.

so the world kept spinning, time kept passing, life kept going, and ellie kept trying to forget about you. it wasn’t an easy task, since you had managed to infiltrate even her most random dreams. if that weren’t enough, you started hanging out with the group more often. jesse and dina had both taken a liking in you, too. she obviously couldn’t blame them.

ellie started making up excuses to miss said hangouts, which made her feel bad but she figured some time away from you would help dissolve whatever feelings were brewing inside of her.

she considered she was doing a pretty decent job, but that was until she ran into you on the street.

“ellie!”

you looked as radiant as always, maybe even more since your beauty seemed to be heightened by the fact she had tried so hard to forget about it. it hit her harder than she imagined.

“hey! uh, what’s up?” her reply came out in pathetic stutters, but you didn’t seem to mind.

“oh, nothing. just on my way home. doing some grocery shopping?” you pointed at the bags ellie was holding, to which she nodded.

“yeah, yeah. we were out of sugar n’ stuff.”

“i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever. you missed movie night at dina’s.”

“yeah, i know. i’ve been busy.”

the hectic sounds of the crowded street didn’t hide the fact that a deafening silence followed ellie’s short answer. you stood there, waiting for her to say something else, or even look you in the eyes.

“listen, um, i gotta go. i’m late for… something. see you around?”

stunned, you watched as she hurriedly walked past you. you tried to make sense of what had just happened, trying to recall if you could have possible done something to upset her, but nothing came to mind.

ellie turned around the corner cringing at her own behavior. she felt awful and spent the entire walk home trying to shake off the embarrassment.

lisa, who was already at the apartment, curiously observed her friend as she helped her put away everything she had bought.

“you okay, dude?” she asked her once she caught ellie staring a little too long at the wall.

“yeah, why?”

“are you sure? you’ve been acting weird lately.”

she sighed, “i’m good, i swear.”

“really? because a little bird told me you seemed off today.”

ellie shot her friend a glance, knowing that little bird was you. “oh. yeah, about that…”

what was she supposed to say? that she practically ran away from you because she couldn’t handle being around you without feeling fucking butterflies in her stomach and that it made her feel terribly guilty and the same time it scared the shit out of her?

“it’s nothing, lisa. i was just in a hurry—”

“do you have a problem with her or something?”

“what? no, of course not.”

“then why do you keep running away from her? you never hang out with us when she’s there.”

“i already told you it’s nothing.”

“we honestly thought you liked her. maybe we’ve been wrong this entire time?” she asked more to herself than to ellie.

ellie let out an awkward chuckle, “i do. she’s cool. why wouldn’t i like her?”

“no, me and the guys had this theory. we thought you liked her as in like her, as more than friends.”

ellie averted her gaze from lisa to the floor, “what?” she asked in a high-pitched voice. “no, i don’t.”

“oh my god, i knew it. you were so making eyes at each other when she came to see us play—”

“we weren’t—”

“—then, i told the others and they noticed the same thing. that’s why jesse told you to drive her home.”

suddenly, her friend’s behavior started making sense and she could not be more mortified. had she been that obvious?

“y’know, she asks me about you all the time, then she plays it off by asking about dina and jesse too, but i know she doesn’t really care about them.”

ellie’s stomach fluttered at the new information, but she shook her head. “that doesn’t mean anything.”

“is that why you’re acting weird? you like her but you don’t think she feels the same? cause let me tell you, she obviously does,” lisa told her, searching to meet her eyes. seeing ellie stayed silent, she spoke up again. “i don’t mind, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“lisa…”

“ellie…” she mocked her, unable to hide her amused smile. “so that’s what happened? you were worried i’d get mad if you liked her?”

ellie nodded, finally looking at her. “i felt bad.”

“aw, aren’t you a big ol’ softie underneath that permanent scowl?” lisa laughed, making ellie roll her eyes. “if i knew that was the thing holding you back i would’ve told you to go for it a long time ago. i just didn’t want to pressure you, i know you don’t like to talk about that stuff.”

“it’s not the only thing that’s holding me back,” ellie mumbled as she scratched the back of her neck, gaze cast downward.

“ellie she likes you, i mean it. when we were on stage she didn’t look at the rest of us once. not even when i fell, she probably didn’t even notice.”

“you fell?”

“exactly. you two were in your own little world. it’s cute, actually. so, if you’re really interested, ask her out.”

it was painfully obvious how interested ellie was but, even with lisa’s blessing and words of reassurance, she wasn’t entirely convinced you liked her back. there was the possibility you were too nice, that’s all. so, she decided to do something she never thought she’d do.

ellie left it to the hands of fate.

no matter the outcome, the universe would send some kind of signal if she should ask you out. what she didn’t expect, was that the universe would act so quickly.

only two days passed before ellie saw you again.

for some reason, she had decided to walk home after band practice. she was too caught up in her own world to notice anything happening around her, but the sound of a familiar voice snapped her back to reality.

you were talking to a dog that seemed to be attentively listening as if he understood what you were saying. “you can’t pee on strangers. or anyone, for that matter.”

a short, soft laugh escaped her lips at the situation. ellie put her hands in her pockets, a wave of nerves suddenly washing over her at hesitation grew within her. letting out a small sigh, she gathered all her courage and straightened her back. ellie began approaching you with a determined look on her face.

“hey.”

your head shot up, the corners of your lips tugging up in a smile as soon as you saw who it was. “ellie, hi!”

the dog beside you immediately jumped at her, attacking her with several kisses as his tail moved at an impossibly fast speed. ellie chuckled as she kneeled down to pet him.

“oh, i’m sorry!”

“it’s okay, i don’t mind.”

“he must really like you. he doesn’t let strangers pet him.”

“yeah?” ellie smiled up at you before returning her gaze to the dog in front of her.

eh, not really. he’s actually the friendliest dog to ever grace the earth but you’re pretty and you make me nervous. “yeah,” you grinned.

“what’s his name?”

“chip. he’s my niece’s, actually. i’m just talking him for a walk while she’s at school,” you explained, trying not to look to affected by her presence. it was hard.

ellie hummed, deep in thought. suddenly, she looked up at you again, “want some company?”

her question took you by surprise, especially after your last encounter. “uh, yes, i’d like that.”

the two of you began walking at a slow pace, sometimes stopping to wait for chip who got distracted by something that caught his attention. ellie asked how your day was going, and once you were done telling her you asked how hers was. it was a calm conversation, the total opposite of how you two were feeling inside.

“i wanted to apologize for leaving so quick the other day.”

“oh, you don’t have to. it’s fine, really.”

“no, it’s not. i’m sorry, it’s just— um, have you talked to lisa?”

you glanced at her, “not recently, why? did something happen?”

“no, no. i was just wondering.”

“you were wondering because…?”

ellie chuckled awkwardly, realizing what she had gotten herself into. she could play dumb and avoid the conversation, but that would be not listening to the universe and that would be a very dumb thing to do, wouldn’t it?

“you’re just friends, right?”

you gave her another quick side-eyed glance, “yes, why?”

“you don’t like her that way and she doesn’t like you that way either, right?”

you let out a short laugh, “yes, ellie. our date wasn’t what we expected so we decided to just stay friends. i already told you that.”

“then let me show you how it’s done.”

you whipped your head around and stared at her as your surprised expression began to morph into a giddy grin. “what?”

“let me take you on a proper date. are you free tomorrow?”

“really?”

“if— if you want, of course.”

in that moment, ellie knew she had made the right choice and internally thanked the universe for pushing her to do so. the way your face lit up at her words was priceless, and it was also a sign that you were as interested in her as she was in you.

you gleefully accepted her request with a warm smile, one that almost knocked the air out of ellie. she promised to text you so she could tell you the details, and she stuck to her word because once you arrived home there was a message from her waiting for you.

you began texting right away. more precisely, you sent hundreds of voicenotes throughout the day and she happily listened to them, replying with an equal amount of texts and lame reaction pictures (which you loved).

“you’re okay with this, right?” ellie asked lisa for the hundredth time as she was about to leave for your date.

her friend, who was sitting comfortably on their couch, rolled her eyes for the hundredth time, too. “ellie, i swear to god if you ask me again—”

“alright! alright.”

“have fun, dork.”

“yeah, yeah,” she muttered as she grabbed the keys to jesse’s car, who had kindly let her borrow it for the date. “don’t wait up, i know how to keep a girl entertained.”

“fuck you!” ellie heard lisa say before she closed the door behind her. she went snickering to herself the whole way to the car, but soon her cockiness evaporated and, instead, a feeling of uncertainty replaced it.

she began second guessing every decision she made the closer she got to your house. was her outfit nice? was her hair okay? was the bouquet of flowers too much? was the date idea she had planned the most nerdy thing ever thought? the answer to that last question was probably, but there was no time to change it, she was already waiting for you outside.

she shuffled her feet as she moved from side to side, her grip on the stems of the flowers tightening. once she heard someone coming, her head shot up. her lips instantly curved into a smile when she saw you. you had the biggest grin on your face as you approached her. ellie’s smile widened even more when she noticed what you had on your hands.

flowers.

“we’re too cheesy, aren’t we?” you scrunched up your nose, slightly tilting your head to the side as ellie laughed. you proceeded to exchange bouquets, your fingers briefly brushing hers. “these are beautiful, thank you.” the compliment left your lips in a tone so sweet it had ellie melting. “alright, should we go?”

“you’re not gonna leave them to put them in water or something?”

“that’s for when i get back. i wanna show them off first. unless the super secret date location isn’t flower-friendly?”

“oh, no, you can take them. it’ll be fine.”

ellie’s chosen date destination was the museum. it was nerdy but, fortunately for her, you were thrilled once you found out. you kept telling her how excited you were while you waited in line, swinging the flowers around as you gesticulated.

there was a small smile on her lips as she attentively listened to you talk about your first experience in a museum and how you’ve always wanted to go to one again, but never got around to it.

it was strange to think about when ellie first saw you in a picture. you caught her attention right away. now, you were in front of her, gifting her your presence and your kind smiles.

everything was going great, but the constant reminder that she wasn’t being completely honest with you caused a persistent feeling of guilt to set on the pit of her stomach.

“i have to tell you something,” ellie said after a moment of silence.

your eyebrows instantly scrunched together at her tone. “everything okay?”

“you said lisa seemed different in person than through text. she probably knew nothing about the movies and characters she said to like when you talked about it on your date, right? well, that’s because it was actually me behind those texts. just when those topics came out, you know, it wasn’t me always. so, basically, i feel really bad about not telling you sooner. you probably think this is weird, right?” ellie let out an awkward chuckle after her (way too long) rambling.

you stared at her in silence, processsing the great amount of information she had given you in just five seconds. suddenly, you laughed.

“it really threw me off when lisa said she loved anakin and legolas’ friendship. then i saw your room. i knew something was fishy, though i never would’ve have guessed i actually talked to you and you weren’t just telling her what to say.”

ellie hid her face behind her hands, laughing at lisa’s huge mistake. “i can’t believe she got aragorn and anakin mixed up.”

you chuckled, “yeah, and that wasn’t the worst one.”

“oh my god,” she groaned. “wait, so, you knew?”

“kind of. i didn’t ask lisa about it because i didn’t want her to be embarrassed or anything, so i just assumed something like that had happened.”

“and you’re not mad?”

“i wouldn’t be here if that were the case, but thank you for telling me,” you said, smiling sweetly at her and reaching for her hand to give her a quick little squeeze. “c’mon, we’re holding the line.”

much to ellie’s dismay, your hand slipped away from hers. she couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed at how brief the contact had been. still, having told you the whole truth, ellie was practically floating behind you.

“by the way, i wanted to tell you something, too,” you started, making her look into your eyes. “going on dates with two different people in such a short time is not like me, y’know? especially if those people are friends.”

“okay…”

“i just don’t want you to get the wrong idea of me.”

“what, that you’re homie hopper?”

“ellie!” you laughed in disbelief.

“i’m kidding,” she playfully rolled her eyes. you watched as her teasing smirk turned into a soft smile.

ellie had never been an affectionate person. in fact, having someone constantly touching her wasn’t something she craved and seeing couples that were too into public displays of affection made her sick. then, she met you.

standing so close to you was torture. every fiber of her being screamed to get closer and, for the first time, she initiated contact. seeing you two were next in line, she took that opportunity to grab your hand and lead you into the museum. she didn’t turn around to see your reaction, but she didn’t have to. you squeezed her hand and intertwined your fingers, indicating that you wouldn’t let go.

you walked side by side at an unhurried pace, taking the time to soak in everything you saw. the rest of the world could have disappeared and neither of you would have cared. in that moment, all that existed were each other and the hushed conversations you shared. the both of you were so caught up in your own little bubble that often forgot there were people around and you had to apologize every time you laughed a little too loud.

ellie knew a lot about everything, you were in complete awe of her. you were certain you could listen to her tell you a million random facts and never get tired of it. the best part was when you finally reached the section where everything dinosaur-related was displayed.

“you said you wanted to learn about them, didn’t you?” she asked with a playful smirk. “you still have time to want to take it back, because i will not be able to shut up once i start.”

you shook your head, smiling fondly at her. “i will listen to every word.”

and you did. sometimes you asked her questions, leading her to talk even more than she intended. it worried her that you could get annoyed, but she could see the genuine interest in your eyes whenever she looked at you.

time flew by much faster than you would’ve wanted. many conversations were shared throughout the whole date. some were meaningful and some weren’t, but each and every one of them would stay engraved in each other’s memories.

you would always remember ellie’s biggest regret, her favorite candy, the first time she fell in love, the age she learned how to ride a bike and how much she hated reality shows.

she would always remember the first time someone broke your heart, that you preferred tea over coffee, your favorite cartoon growing up and your irrational fear of mannequins.

both of you would always remember the comfortable silences you shared during the art section and the way both of you giggled whenever you caught each other’s eyes.

now, standing outside of your building under a starry sky, you already felt nostalgic about a night that wasn’t even technically over yet.

“thank you for today. it totally exceeded my expectations, and they were really, really high, by the way.”

“yeah?” ellie smiled widely before biting down her bottom lip.

“yeah.” you nod, grinning. “i had a lot of fun.”

“me too.”

you kept staring at each other, unable to erase the dumb smiles off your lips.

“did i score a second date?”

“you even scored a third one.”

ellie laughed at your answer, momentarily looking down at her shoes. when she met your gaze again, she felt time slowing as well as her breath. you were the one who took the first step, quite literally, standing closer to her whilst she seemed to be completely still.

your eyes met for a brief moment before you finally closed the gap between you and enveloped you two on a very eagerly awaited kiss. the contact made ellie come back to her senses and she reacted almost instantly, making you smile against her.

you had been waiting for that moment to come since beginning of the night and, yet, you still weren’t ready for the way it made you feel. it was overwhelming, in the best way possible.

“i’d invite you over but, unfortunately for you, i’m a lady,” you murmured as your fingers intertwined on the back of her head, the bouquet of flowers hanging upside down on her back.

ellie grinned against your lips before giving you one final kiss. “goodnight.”

you had said your goodbyes. the next step was for ellie to leave, but she found herself glued to the floor. your soft smile quickly became a teasing smirk when you realized she had no intention to move.

“did you forget how to walk?”

her next move pleasantly surprised you. she raised one of her hands to the back of your neck and pulled gently to draw you into another kiss. it felt so natural, so right.

“i think it’s time for our second date,” she mumbled, smiling dazedly.

“now?”

she was still so close.

“please.”

you weren’t sure how it was possible for you to hear her whispering voice over the loud beating of your heart.

“let’s just— let’s drive around and see where we end up.”

you grinned, immediately nodding at her proposal.

who could say no to that face?

#ellie williams fluff #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams au

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suniix · 1 year ago

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one bed | (botw) link x reader

synopsis | you and link stop by an inn to rest, but there’s one small problem

word count | 1.3k

note | thought about it too hard so i wrote a fic about it (based on this little comic! pls look at it it’s so cute)

As the moon rose, the world beyond your hotel window fell into a peaceful slumber. The faint sound of crickets could be heard singing their calming melody. The peaceful night ambiance would’ve been enough to put you to sleep had it not been for your frantic beating heart.

In front of you lies your traveling companion, Link, whose back was practically against the wall, arms wrapped around himself as if afraid to accidentally touch you.

The silence in the room was deafening, neither of you knew what to say in this situation. After sleeping on the hard ground for weeks the two of you had agreed to spend the night at The Great Ton Pu Inn. The rain that quickly followed your decision only fueled your excitement for a comfy bed as the two of you rushed up the hill leading to Hateno Village. What neither of you expected was for every room to be booked, every room but one with a single bed.

Despite both of you being tired from traveling, neither of you could fall asleep because of the awkward tension that hung in the air. Ignoring it was proving to be impossible, someone had to say something, but you were hesitant to break the silence for fear of making things awkward (as if they weren’t already). You had been traveling with Link for weeks, months even! The two of you have shared several nights close together under the comfort of the stars, what makes now so different?

Maybe it was the smirk the front desk lady had given you both after handing you your key, maybe it was because despite how much you prayed for a room with two beds to miraculously become available you were secretly happy to share a bed with the Hylian boy, or maybe it was because despite you looking everywhere but him you could feel his eyes on you.

Just say something, anything!

You clear your throat, shuffling nervously under the blanket. “Um.. Rupee for your thoughts?” You asked in a hushed voice, an awkward smile making its way onto your face.

Link blinked rapidly in response, likely surprised by your sudden question. He continued to stare at you in silence, now tense as his cheeks turned a bright red.

Thinking you made him uncomfortable you quickly rise out of the bed. “Sorry! You know what maybe I should just sleep on the couch—”

Before you had the chance to remove the blanket from your body Link quickly sat up in bed and reached out to grab your wrist, shaking his head furiously. You stop when he does, slightly surprised to see how fast he had reacted when he looked so tired earlier. Your eyes fall on his hand which, despite the quick reaction, holds your wrist just tight enough to keep you from leaving but loose enough for you to pull away if you so wished. Realizing what he did he slowly pulls away. You immediately miss the warmth.

He looks down, blush remaining on his cheeks as he nervously fiddles with his fingers. “Don’t go, I..” he pauses, unsure if he should finish his thought. He looked up to see you staring at him patiently, waiting for him to finish. That was one thing he loved about you; you were always so patient with him. Although he was more talkative than he was 100 years ago he often found himself struggling to express what he wanted, likely an unconscious habit that stayed with him through his century-long sleep. Despite this you never hurried or pressured him into talking, allowing him to do it at his own pace. Taking a deep breath he continued. “.. I like being close to you.”

As soon as the words left his mouth you felt your cheeks burn. Did you hear him right or was it just a hallucination caused by the late hour of the night? You thought about pinching yourself, but the way he nervously played with his fingers (a habit you found adorable) and the way the ends of his hair curled up just a bit revealing a small scar on his shoulder made it too real to be a dream.

After a few moments of silence Link looked up, seeing your shocked expression. He quickly backtracked, thinking he made you uncomfortable with what he said. “Unless you don’t! That’s fine!—”

“I do!”

Link freezes upon hearing your response. You awkwardly clear your throat. “I-I mean, I also like being close to you..” you nearly whisper, feeling your ears burn with the embarrassment of blurting it out earlier.

Then the room went silent. Your heart was frantically beating against your chest; you hoped Link couldn’t hear it.

Your fear was proven false (unbeknownst to you) as Link was currently lost in his own mind. Link had become so accustomed to seeing you in that golden campfire glow that the current sight of you left him breathless. He thought you looked even more captivating in the moonlight.

He slowly nodded his head, eyes refusing to leave your form. “Ok.” He responded in a daze. It was the only thing Link could think to say as his mind was still elsewhere.

“We should probably sleep now..” You looked past Link and out the window, seeing the moon high in the clear sky. “It’s getting late.”

Link hummed, snapping out of the trance he was in and nodding his head in agreement. You settled back under the blanket and he followed your actions. Despite your earlier conversation, there was still a good chunk of space between the two of you on the small bed.

Wanting him to come closer, you begin to think of a way to convince him. “You know, it’s kind of cold in here.” You whispered (a small lie, it was the middle of summer), but you knew Link heard you when he looked back at you. Deciding to take a chance you scoot closer to him and you hear his breath hitch. “So I wouldn’t mind if.. you came closer.”

Hesitantly, Link listened and with a smile scooted just a little bit closer. You breathed out a sigh of relief you didn’t even know you were holding, moving closer to him again. Beneath the blanket, your hand slowly moved to reach his. As your fingers slowly grazed his he flinched. You were about to pull away before he intertwined his hand with yours. There’s that familiar warmth.

He pulled your hand close to his chest, gently tugging you closer. You complied, wordlessly moving closer to him once again. The distance between your bodies was minimal now; you were so close you could see the faintest freckles gracing his cheeks.

“Are you still cold?” He asked in a low whisper. You nodded your head (another lie, you were already beginning to feel sweaty). You couldn’t help it, now that you’ve experienced what it’s like to be close to him you crave more. Being greedy just this once wouldn’t hurt.

Link lets go of your hand, wrapping his arms around you to bring you against his chest. Your eyes widen at the sudden action, but you don’t pull away.

“Better?”

You nodded, slowly wrapping your arms around him in case he flinched away. When he didn’t you fully wrapped your arms around his torso and snuggled into him, a painfully large grin stretching across your face when he did the same. Your palms were sweaty as they tightly gripped his shirt. He smelled earthy, like damp dirt with a hint of smoke. You sighed in contentment, not caring that the two of you would likely wake up sweaty tomorrow. You didn’t release your grip and neither did he.

You silently thanked Hylia for not answering your prayer earlier before falling into a deep sleep.

thank you for reading till the end! :D

masterlist

#link x reader #link x y/n #link x you #botw link x reader #botw x reader #loz x reader #link imagine #link fluff #botw #breath of the wild #[📝 sunni writes]

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lionhanie · 7 months ago

Text

han taesan ; back 2 u (part one)

you can’t help but find yourself coming back to taesan everytime

this is part one of my series, back 2 u! read the previous part here!

fuckboy!taesan x fem!reader, college au

...featuring! BFFS jaehyun + woonhak, fuckboy leehan (AND he's taesan's roommate), and lovely roomies sungho + riwoo <3

word count: 1.7k

warnings: cursing, alcohol mention and usage, party mentions, TAESAN IS A BIG FLIRT, reader lowkey doesn't like him lol

a/n: fuckboy taesan i won;t U so bad .. . .. </3

likes ♡ and reblogs ↺ always appreciated!

You would’ve never expected yourself to be involved with Han Taesan, well-known on campus equally for his pretty face and his ability to have someone new under his arm every week. Your school wasn’t necessarily huge, but it was impressive to think that most students had some inkling about who Han Taesan was.

His existence frustrated you deeply, actually. There wasn't any actual reason to hate him per se, but it was aggravating to think that some people just have so much going for them. Not only was he undeniably attractive to anyone who had eyes, he was also known for his unmistakable musical talent and a captivating charm that drew people in immediately. It’s almost comical the way you could be minding your business in class only to overhear a group of girls a couple seats over talking about how handsome Taesan was at a party last weekend or who his most recent fling could be.

Despite everything you’ve heard people say concerning him, you found it hard to believe he was such a player. Sure, he may have some good looks, but he looks… Innocent, in a way. Harmless.

The first time you’d interacted was in the library. You’ve noticed him in there on various occasions while you were working, but never paid much mind to it, given that he’d only look around the bookshelves for a couple minutes before seeing himself out. Taesan was standing right in front of the library’s help desk, where you worked for a couple hours in between classes. “By any chance, would I be able to check out this book?” He’s holding it out to you, and you’re surprised to find that he’s renting out one of your favorite novels.

“Yup, I’m just going to need your name and student ID. You can only get it for four days at a time, but you’re free to come back and renew the book if you need more time with it,” You type away at the keyboard in front of you, opening up the form you needed to fill out for book rentals. “That’s a good book, by the way.” Your small talk is unnecessary, but your job was too boring not to make conversation with the few people that actually used your services.

“Yeah, I’ve been eyeing it for a while,” He’s smiling as he takes his card out from the back of his phone case, sliding it to you on the counter. “Ah, my name is Han Taesan. And here’s my ID.” Picking it up, you notice that the name he’d just given you didn’t match the one on his ID. Han Dongmin? You were almost sure this was Taesan, though. Sensing your confusion, he chuckles as he moves to explain the mismatching names. “Most people know me as Taesan, not Dongmin. It’s just a nickname, really. Does it matter what name I use to check out the book?” He tilts his head as he looks back up at you, waiting for your response.

“No, not really. It’ll be linked to your ID anyways, so it should be fine.” You scan his ID on the card reader next to you, allowing you to finish up the form splayed out on the monitor. Taesan drums his fingers on the counter, glancing around the near-empty library; he’s humming the melody to a song you don’t know. “You’re all set, Dongmin.” You slide his receipt and a piece of paper telling him when he needs to return the book under the cover before giving it back to him.

He’s caught off-guard at hearing his real name come from your mouth, but he flashes you a grin regardless. “Have we met somewhere before…” Taesan’s sentence trails off until he notices the name tag pinned to your shirt, “...Y/N?”

This time, you’re the one caught off-guard. “Sorry, is it better for me to call you Taesan?” You question. He’s probably only striking up a conversation because he doesn’t like people calling him by his real name— that probably explains why people call him Taesan instead. “And no, I don’t think we have.”

“Nah, keep calling me Dongmin. It sounds nice coming from you.” He’s leaning on the counter now, close enough for you to notice the luxurious-smelling cologne coming off of him. “You’ll be one of the few people who call me that, you know.” His comment makes you roll your eyes playfully, scoffing at the way he’s making it sound like a special honor for you to be able to call him that. “Are you free this weekend?”

The clicking of your keyboard stops as you finally look at him properly, feeling slightly bashful at the sudden question paired with his intense stare. “...Why do you ask?” Your initial perceptions of Taesan quickly dissolve, as you now realize that this is the type of person he really is. Looks really can be deceiving. He smirks at the expression on your face, happy with himself knowing he has such an effect on someone he just met.

He slides his phone over to you, just like he had done with his student ID just moments ago. You take a peek at it, curious about its contents, only to see a blank “New Contact” screen waiting for you. “Number?” He asks for a girl’s number… Like this? It irritates you to think that he’s probably used this exact sequence numerous times without fail, and now he’s here using it on you while you’re at work.

Hesitating briefly, you pick up the phone and type in your info— You hate how easily you give in to him, almost wishing you played a bit harder to get, but it’s hard to say no to the handsome face of Han Taesan directly asking you for your number. “I’ll text you, yeah?”

“Okay,” You reply, completely baffled at the interaction that just unfolded all in the span of less than ten minutes. Taesan slips his phone into his pocket and tucks the book he rented under his arm, giving you a small smile as he steps away from the desk. As you watch him walk out the sliding doors, you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in. Next to you, your phone screen lights up.

4 new messages from “Unknown Number”! it’s dongmin [address] come saturday if ur free, starts at 10 i’d love to talk to u again, y/n :-)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Just this once, you’re grateful that Han Taesan is so widely known, because it was surprisingly easy to find friends who were already planning on attending Saturday’s party. You were at ease knowing you’d at least have Riwoo and Sungho to fall back on if the nerves suddenly took over.

You wish you could say that you debated on not coming, but that’d be a complete lie, because you’re currently standing in the middle of Riwoo and Sungho’s shared apartment throwing back shots to pregame. “It’s been a while since you came out with us Y/N! What’s the occasion?” Sungho randomly interrogates you while refilling the empty shot glasses on the counter.

Biting your lip, you contemplate your response: Should you lie and say you just felt like partying this weekend? You’re well aware of the fact that the pair of roommates in front of you are friends with Taesan… So it wouldn’t be weird to mention him now, right? But then again, his parties are huge. Chances are, he invites random strangers to them all the time, so there’s no need for you to act like your interaction at the library was anything special— You’re about to answer when your phone screen flashes on the kitchen island.

2 new messages from “Han Dongmin”! i’ll see u later ya? ik u won’t leave me hanging again y/n ;P

The notification exhilarates you. Was he looking forward to seeing you tonight? It annoys you slightly to think that Taesan knew you’d show up, even if you’d never confirmed the matter. “Ah… I didn’t know you were friends with Taesan, Y/N!” Riwoo reads the text off your phone from over your shoulder as he moves to pick up one of the shots Sungho just poured. Guess he chose the answer to your internal turmoil for you. “Now that I think of it, how come we’ve never gone to any of his parties together before?”

Mirroring his actions, you take a glass for yourself and finish it in one clean gulp, wincing at the burn it sends down your throat. “Hm, I don’t think I’d call us friends. He asked for my number at the library the other day.” You correct him, explaining the encounter you shared with Taesan two days prior.

Being the last to take their shot, Sungho hums in understanding across from you. You can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to actually get to know the kind of person Han Taesan is; Would he maintain the tension with his flirty remarks? Or is he just a normal college student that doesn’t actually live up to the reputation he’s made for himself around campus?

“So, Y/N, do you think he’s hot?” Sungho blurts out, making you choke on your spit. Riwoo giggles from beside you, patting your back as you finish your coughing fit. “I mean, we don’t care if you think he is. Taesan’s a handsome guy. Hell, half the student population probably thinks so too!” Sungho’s contagious laughter fills the kitchen, making you and Riwoo laugh along with him.

“Well duh, why wouldn’t I think he’s hot?” There’s a smile on your face as you admit your attraction to the boy in question. Han Taesan is definitely intriguing. The alcohol feels like it’s finally made its way through your system, the room feeling a bit warmer than it was earlier. The three of you didn’t drink much; just enough to give you a little more courage to go to the party without feeling too nervous. You take a glance at the clock on their microwave: 10:43PM. “Shouldn’t we get going?”

taglist: @minwrlds @luna2nite @taesancore @taesanmoon @helpsplease @taylorluvation (send an ask / comment if you want to be added hehe)

#boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor #bnd #bnd x reader #x reader #taesan #han taesan #boynextdoor taesan #taesan x reader #kpop fic #kpop #han dongmin #han dongmin x reader #riwoo #sungho #boynextdoor riwoo #boynextdoor sungho #ᯓᡣ𐭩 my writing #✧.* back 2 u

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hyperfixationiris · 2 years ago

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(In advance I apologize for any grammatical or syntax error that I may have, English is not my first language).

The Separated AU by @cupcakeslushie has been my complete adoration and obsession in recent days, so (with the author's permission) I created this playlist for Separated!Donnie!

I have chosen the songs mostly for their lyrics, so the musical genres may be all over the place, hehe.

The title comes from the mini comic "Thirds", also part of the Separated AU and creation of Cupcakeslushie, because damn, that interaction between Donnie and Splinter hit me hard.

That there are thirty-three songs (Three Three) in the playlist is... totally a coincidence! But it is one of which I feel very proud!

You can listen it on YouTube here or on Spotify here (I recommend the YouTube version more, since on Spotify I couldn't find all the songs or not in the versions I wanted).

Below is a brief explanation of why I chose some of the songs, (you can ignore this if you like) But enjoy the music and go see the Separated AU, I recommend it with all my heart!

(This part is very based on my interpretation of Sep!Donnie, so I may be wrong about some things.)

— "Saint Bernard" and "Cradles" are the first songs for being the ones I most associated with Donnie. The first for talking about being a failure and that there is something intrinsically "wrong" with you. The second I associated with his way of seeing the world and the fact that he does not perceive what has been done to him as abuse.

— The instrumental melodies I chose I feel they are a good reflection of his mental state, especially in one of his episodes.

— "Papercut" was a song I heard and it was immediately like: "Oh, yes, this is Donnie talking about Three and the hallucinations he has of his brothers".

— "Immer Sie" is one of the few songs I chose with a specific moment in mind, in this case: Donnie attacking his family because he felt they were leaving him behind and abandoning him. The song speaks of a desperate and almost aggressive love, in addition to having in its lyrics a fairly broken syntax. That is why I think it can reflect Donnie's altered mental and emotional state in that specific moment.

— There is a song that clashes a lot with the others and is "Lovefool (Remix)". However I think it represents the affectionate behaviors, although sometimes too intense, of Donnie, as well as his need to be loved.

— I think "Pale Machine" is a song that would play once Donnie was rescued by his family and once he was living with them. Although he is very happy and basically the situation is a dream come true, that does not mean that all his problems are fixed.

— Two other songs for specific moments are "What I've Done" and "Cop Graveyard". I am referring to the moment Mikey finds out about the collars his brother made for Big Mama, and when Donnie realizes that he basically helped Shredder poison Leo's mind.

— "Rolling Girl" is the first of the comfort songs, being a reflection of the way Donnie sees himself and how his family is doing everything possible to help him out of that vicious circle.

— I see "Demons" as a song dedicated to the relationship between Donnie and Vee (which I love). In turn, "Devil Town" would be Donnie's relationship with Leo, Raph and Mikey.

— "New Soul" is basically Donnie on the road to recovery, with its ups and downs.

— Finally, "Somewhere I Belong" is not exactly a happy or entirely positive song, but whose central theme is something that Donnie has been working on and has wished all his life: a place to belong to.

And with this ends my TED Talk, thanks for coming.

#cupcakeslushie #cupcakeslushie separated au #sep!donnie #separated donnie #Playlist #this au is AMAZING #please all go to see it #I had so much fun doing this playlist #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt separated au #separated au #Spotify

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poisonousdelights · 6 months ago

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TIMING: Mid April LOCATION: The Sugar Pot PARTIES: Isa (@poisonousdelights) and Alistair (@deathsplaything) SUMMARY: Alistair and Isa try to help Tommy work through a problem at school but after Tommy shuts them down the conversation somehow turns unsavory. CONTENT WARNINGS: Drug tw mention (no presence of of them, just a thought)

It was close to closing time at the Sugar Pot, and Alistair heard the jingle of the door followed by a groan of annoyance. Tommy, right on cue. “Hey, kiddo!” Alistair called out as they looked toward the sound, popping out the lone earbud they had in that they were using to listen to the laptop they had open. “Where’s Mom?” Tommy asked, a deep frown on his face. Alistair looked at the boy through Brutus’s eyes, noticing he looked like he’d been crying. The necromancer frowned and severed the connection. “She’s running errands. Sorry, kid.” They spoke in reply. “How about we make you a drink? A hot chocolate? You know I keep the supplies here just for you.” Alistair quickly got up from their spot and navigated their way to the counter without Brutus’s assistance.

Once they were behind the counter, they leaned toward Isa. “Can you spend some time with him while I set this up for him? I think he had a rough day at school.” They spoke to her before quickly grabbing the milk from the fridge hidden under the counter. They weren’t good with kids. Tommy was the closest thing they’d ever had to a child, seeing as Melody was a single mother raising her child independently. Alistair had stepped in to help the best they could. Still, it wasn’t like they knew how to navigate a teenager going through a moody phase. They were in their fifties, not like they could relate very well. That’s why they were hoping that Isa could help out.

Once Isa approached, Tommy sniffed and slipped into one of the chairs, burying his face in his arms. School always sucked. Why did they have to keep going anyway? Brutus, the ever-faithful companion, walked over to Tommy and laid down beside him since there weren’t any customers this close to closing anyway. Tommy peeked out from behind his arms, then buried a hand into Brutus’s black fur. He liked Brutus.

She’d been reading a comic that she’d gotten from Sam’s shop not long before, eyes cascading over the pictures the best they could through the dark glasses on her face. It wasn’t dark yet but sundown was coming and she liked to be prepared for anything when it came to her…abilities. With Alistair there, she probably should have been doing something to actually earn her paycheck. But it had been a little slow that day, most of the restocking was done, and the kitchen portion was clean enough to eat off of so she thought they wouldn’t mind Isa taking a little break. The bell going off had her sitting up though, the comic being placed under the counter before she could see it was Tommy.

A very sad looking Tommy.

Oh, her heart broke instantly when she saw the puffiness of his eyes but she didn’t say anything. Isabela let Alistair talk to him as she stayed silent no matter how much she wanted to give him the biggest hug. It was as if her boss could sense how much she wanted to go to Tommy, or maybe they were just avoiding it themselves, but when they asked her to go talk to him she eagerly nodded her head.

“Hey, kiddo.” Wait, could she even call him that? She wasn’t that much older than him but she supposed life experience kind of trumped age here. She took a seat across from him before sliding some of the dog treats she kept for Brutus towards him, trying to act sly even if Isa knew Alistair was most likely aware of what she was doing. “Shhh, he’s had a lot today but this is a special occasion.” Eyes traveled to where Tommy was petting the dog before they went back to the broken teenager, voice soft as she asked the next question. “You want to talk about it?”

Tommy looked at Isa with a wary expression. He thought about ignoring her for a long moment, but decided that maybe she would be someone that he could talk to. “I just… had a hard time at school.” He responded meekly, not knowing what else to say. “Had a friend that told me they didn’t want to hang around anymore.” He was the school weird kid, he didn’t say. “Just kinda sucks. Bad.” He stared down at his hands as he spoke, feeling Brutus press his nose up against his leg, only to have Tommy look over to Brutus and smile weakly and pet the dog. “Thanks, buddy.” He told the dog with that same weak smile.

Alistair quickly got the hot chocolate ready, continuing to look at Tommy through Brutus’s eyes as they waited. Of course, Melody would pick this moment not to be around when Tommy needed her. Just their luck. They looked through Brutus and saw the curly blonde smiling at them. Alistair relaxed a bit, knowing that, at least, this wasn’t a world-ending situation. After the hot chocolate was ready, they hurried over to Tommy and Isa, or as hurried as they could, anyway.

Tommy looked at Alistair and seemed to relax more, taking the hot chocolate with a quiet “Thank you” that Alistair barely processed. “You want to wait here with Isa or myself until your mom gets here?” Tommy sniffled and nodded with a “yeah since it’s… slow.” Tommy verbalized for Alistair’s benefit. “I lost a friend today.” He told Alistair, whose frown deepened and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Tommy. That kind of stuff is hard, I know.” They sat down in a chair at the table the others were at, crossing their arms over their chest.

If her heart had broken before, it metaphorically shattered into pieces when she heard why he was sad. Isa knew all too well how bad it could feel to have somebody you were supposed to be able to trust turn their back on you. She wanted to reach out and hold his hand but she knew it would probably spook him and the girl didn’t want him to close himself off. Talking about it was for the best no matter how much she wanted to take the pain herself. “Trust me, Tommy, I get how badly that can hurt, more than you could know. It does suck, you’re totally right about that.”

Maybe she needed to pay a twelve year old a visit. It wasn’t like they would be stone forever, right?

But no, this was Tommy’s business and he needed to learn that things weren’t always going to go his way no matter how hard the lessons were. Besides, turning a twelve year old to stone wasn’t the best for her morality no matter how much better she thought it would make this boy feel.

Alistair returned with his hot chocolate, something Isa knew could possibly turn that frown upside down, and she sat back in her seat when Tommy confirmed he was okay with them hanging around. “Was there maybe a misunderstanding that could be resolved? Why did they not want to be friends anymore?” It wasn’t that long ago that she was twelve years old but for some reason it felt like a lifetime ago. Everything at that age was heightened though, that she very much remembered, and she knew things could be misinterpreted in a big way.

Tommy glanced between Alistair and Isa, then frowned and shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it,” the boy said in a meek voice. Sure, it was nice to hear that it was something that happened to other people, but he didn’t want it happening to him at all! Frustrated, Tommy drank from his hot chocolate and then put his head down on the table. “I just wanna be alone.” He told them.

Taking the hint, Alistair put a gentle hand onto Tommy’s shoulder and then nodded his head. “Alright, we’ll leave you be. Your mother will be back soon.” Their voice was soft and considerate, as they often were when it came to people in trouble. “Come on, Isa. Let’s get back to work.” They told the girl, rising from their chair and sauntering back behind the counter.

Of course, they knew that there wasn’t really a whole lot of work to be done, but then again, it was close to the end of the day, and fewer people came in for tea by this point. “So what’s the reading material this time?” They asked Isa, leaning against the back wall. “I know you read, I can still hear.” They gave the girl a smirk, crossing their arms over their chest. “And no, I don’t mind. So long as everything is already done and cared for and there’s no customers, do what you want as long as it’s legal as far as I’m concerned.”

She wanted to stay. She wanted to talk to Tommy until he felt better but she also knew that sometimes a kid just needed their mom and there was nothing else anyone could do. Isa could relate. But at least Tommy had the luxury of only waiting a little until he could talk to his mom and that was enough to make her feel alright about leaving him to brood at the table. But that didn’t mean that she felt good about it.

She placed her hand on top of Tommy’s and gave a squeeze before she was out of her seat following Alistair over to the counter to give the kid some space. Her eyes stayed on him until Isa heard Alistair’s question and they turned wide, head lifting so she could look at them. “I-” But they were already speaking, reassuring her that they didn’t mind as long as the work was done and she felt like she could breathe again. “I’ve been trying to catch up on some of the Wonder Woman comics. I just got into them not long ago and there’s…a lot.”

The girl still felt a little shameful though. Alistair was so kind to her and she would sit behind the counter and take up paid time on tasks that had nothing to do with the store. Something they said did catch her ear though, Isa going back to the conversation that she’d had with Elora not long before this. What was legal to Alistair? Did they follow the laws written out for citizens in black and white or did they have their own idea of what was lawful? She glanced to the back room as the questions ran through her mind. “Right…because everything is done legally here….right?”

Alistair blinked as Isa questioned the legality of the business. Suddenly, she was asking something he didn’t want her to know. How did she know? Because it wasn’t from Melody, she knew better. Which meant there was only one other person it could be; Elora. Alistair fought to keep his expression confused instead of angry. There were so many things she could be questioning him about. The Good Neighbors, what he did in the back room, necromancy in general. He let out a deep sigh, then shook his head. “I heal people.” Was all he said, pointing to the curtain that obscured the door.

“Well, more like I did heal people. I don’t anymore.” He waved a hand, shaking his head. “That business is my own.” His voice was tense and serious, his unseeing eyes staring straight at her. “Magic is an art that I practice. Elora knows this, so you should too. If anyone comes in to see me for healing, you turn them away, tell them to go to the hospital if it’s that urgent, you understand?” He scowled, shaking his head. “Either you can live with that knowledge or you can’t. But I do ask that you keep it a secret.”

His voice rose enough to get Tommy’s attention, and the kid gulped and spoke up. “Al’s a good person, Mom helps him. They help people together.” He didn’t like when people ganged up on his… well, not his dad. But he could be his dad if he… had the courage to say something, anything about how he felt about Alistair in his life. Alistair let out a sigh, then nodded to Tommy. “Thanks, Tommy.” He spoke, voice genuine.

“If you want to know the truth, then I need to know you can handle it. Not everyone can. And I can’t have people knowing what I can do and going out and telling people. That’s how I end up dead.”

Healing people? She could only question how that could be considered illegal. There were so many holistic healing practices around the country that Isa couldn’t see any trouble coming from that sort of business. But then the seriousness of their voice had her shrinking back from them, eyes wide. Something was seriously off if Alistair was going to react this way. What exactly did they mean by ‘heal’ when they were bringing up their practice in the back room?

The answer hit her in the gut. Magic was the last thing she thought she would hear from them. If anything Isa thought that she would go to the back and see a grow station set up with some heating lamps or something of the sort but now it was all clicking together. Alistair was a spellcaster and a powerful one at that if they could heal. Her eyes widened even more, the girl moving further away when she realized what this meant. Could they know who had cursed her? Were they a part of it?

No, no she could never believe that Alistair would cast such a curse on anyone especially if they were in the business of healing others. It didn’t make much sense for them to give people back their livelihoods only for them to turn around and turn her life into a monstrous catastrophe, literally. Besides, they had never indicated that they were in any way upset with her for the crime she had been convicted of, quite the opposite actually, so why would she even think for a second they were involved in this?

Tommy speaking up for them, knowing what was going on, it only confirmed even more that her boss wasn’t as nefarious as her mind tried to make her believe, right? “I don’t think they’re a bad person, Tommy, I promise.” She looked over at the boy, gave him a weary smile, and then back to Alistair. Isa wasn’t sure how to word what she was thinking. She wanted to jump right into it and ask as many questions as Alistair could take but it wasn’t the right time for this. Right now it was time for reassurances, time to let them know that she was on their side in this. She didn’t quite know what it all entailed but helping people was a good thing. “I can handle it. Trust me, I know how to keep a secret and I’m not in the business of blabbering everyone else’s business around town. I kind of have experience in that and I know how it feels.” She bit into her bottom lip as she moved closer to them again, shrugging. “You have a lot more to lose than I do. I’d never want to put you in that position.”

Alistair listened as Isa spoke, hanging on her every word. He felt every time he had something figured out, something came and mucked it up. Now Elora and Isa both knew about what he did. When she promised she could handle it, Alistair seemed to relax a touch, the tightness in their posture going lax. “If you insist,” he spoke in response. “Just… keep it to yourself.” They reiterated, knowing they’d have to have a talk with Elora about keeping her mouth shut.

“Tommy, do your homework. Isa, scrub something, I dunno.” Alistair insisted, dismissing the both of them with a tired sigh. “I’ll be doing inventory in the meantime.” It felt like the loser’s way out, not truly talking about what he was to Isa. Of course, he could explain to her that he was a necromancer. That he could raise the dead. But he didn’t. Not everyone could deal with that information, and Melody wasn’t around to make sure Isa didn’t remember if she couldn’t deal with it. Some people were just best left in the dark. The less she knew, the safer she was from what he was capable of.

“Thanks for… understanding.” He spoke, looking over his shoulder at Isa with a saddened expression. She was right, he did have a lot more to lose than she did. It felt like his life was constantly walking a tightrope. Anyone could ruin what he’d worked hard for with a snap of their fingers. “You’re a good kid, don’t get too roped up in my extracurriculars.” He warned her with a frown.

She knew the conversation was over as soon as they had barked at her to scrub something and Isa made sure to make herself busy with menial tasks. There wasn’t much left to work on, she hadn’t been lying about that earlier, but she could always find something. But the sound of their voice had her turning her head away from the assortment of teas she was organizing. She felt her tense shoulders relax as she took in their expression, her head shaking softly. “You don’t have to thank me…we all have our own things going on. Besides…we’re a family, remember?” Her lips lifted into a grin as she repeated the words they had said to her online when she’d been terrified of their response to her past. If Alistiar could overlook her revealed secrets she could certainly do the same.

There were questions that were forming in her mind, more and more by the minute, and yet she stayed quiet as they warned her away from their ‘extracurriculars’ as if they were speaking of an unsavory after school project. How could Isa ask them what kind of spellcasters they knew if they didn’t want to talk about it at all? The last thing she wanted was to upset Alistair in any way, they literally saved her from bone crushing poverty as opposed to the manageable kind. It was so tempting though, the questions on the tip of her tongue.

Two things stopped her. The first was Tommy still sitting there gazing at the two of them. She didn’t want him to be scared of her if it came down to her revealing what she was and she didn’t even know if Melody would like him being aware of lamia. The second thing was her continued hesitation to reveal what she was to people she cared about. It wasn’t like she could ask Alistair about spellcasting without telling them why. So, she kept her mouth shut, nodding at their warning, before she turned and started her organization again. She only hoped Alistair knew how good they actually were no matter their extracurricular activities. After all, she was living proof of their kindness.

#Threads #Thread: Alistair #Pre-teen.exe Stopped Working #Drug tw

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carlosjijonwrites · 9 months ago

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Only God Was Above Us Review

Alternative rock is almost synonymous with loud distortion. It’s a classic staple of the genre that allows bands to bring energy and emotion to their recordings. And although Vampire Weekend has been one of the more successful indie bands of the last few decades, they have always refrained from this practice. Since their debut in 2008, their electric guitars have sported clean tones and their sound has always been more bright than anything else. But that all changes in Only God Was Above Us, the group's latest release. In their fifth full-length LP, the band fills their songs with heavily distorted guitars and noisy synths. And interestingly, what they add to the music is not fierce emotion, but an atmosphere of chaos.

The album’s second track, “Classical,” is crowded with all sorts of loud, dissonant sounds. Even the acoustic guitar sounds dirty, somehow. Still, it never comes off as a heavy rock song. Instead, the loud elements create an air of confusion and eeriness. The most surprising part is that this is all paired up with tender melodies and delicate piano sounds. It results in a sense of tumultuous beauty that’s present in the whole record.

It’s a sound that fits well with the themes of the album, which are unapologetically bleak. When it was released, the band’s frontman Ezra Koenig shared a message in which he said the record was “kinda heavy” and it’s easy to understand what he meant. Vampire Weekend has tackled dark themes before, but Only God Was Above Us goes to much darker places. Just look at the lyrics of “The Surfer,” which casually mention “broke bodybuilders crushed beneath the weight” and “inept long-distance runners losing every race.” “Classical” gets into how, with time, even the most horrible acts can become normalized and even glorified. “How the cruel with time becomes classical,” sings Koenig before jumping into an apocalypse-themed chorus section.

And it all concludes with “Hope,” the ambitious, folk-inspired, 8-minute closing track. In it, the band explores tragedies of all sorts, going from corrupt justice systems and naive self-deception to backpacks falling onto the train tracks and everything in between. “The phoenix burned but did not rise”/ “The righteous rage was foolish pride.” And what’s the song’s response to all this dysfunction? Resignation. The lyrics suggest that the world is unfixable and that “the enemy is invincible,” so the answer is to just learn to let go. The lyrics make this point with unmissable clarity. Every verse ends with the words “I hope you let it go” and the chorus is a constant repetition of that same line.

It’s more than “kinda heavy,” I would say, but it’s accompanied by an unrelenting energy and a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor that prevents it from ever becoming depressing. The album’s third track, “Capricorn,” is definitely sad, but it also contains an air of playful self-deprecation that makes it fun and exciting. In the second verse, the singer complains about being “alone and wounded” only to immediately add “but in my prime.” My favorite song on the record, “Pravda,” uses dark humor in a similar way. The lyrics describe a person with an almost comically desperate desire to go away. To make this clear, every verse ends with the phrase “I’m leaving at the rising of the Moon,” even when it doesn’t really make sense. Like in the final section, the narrator reminisces about a job they once had selling ties at Penn Station only to cut themselves off midway and remind us that they, in fact, are leaving at the rising of the Moon.

I’ve talked about the noisy synths for a while now, but that is just one element in an album that’s honestly chock-full of creativity and fun. The song “Mary Boone” mixes angelical choirs with upbeat hip hop rhythms and “Connect” features one of the craziest, most psychedelic piano sections I’ve ever heard in a pop song. And even with its dark lyrics about false prophets and matadors being killed by raging bulls, the main piano riff in “Hope” is just so catchy.

Can’t help but get the feeling that Vampire Weekend is alienating their audience somewhat with their incessant experimentation. The weird-sounding electric guitars and deafening synths will surely turn many people off. It almost feels like dissonance-core, to be honest, and I can picture more than one person thinking that “Capricorn” would have worked better without all the dinosaur sounds in the mix. Not to mention the hyper-local New York references about “Grant’s tomb” and commuting from New Jersey might come off as obnoxious to some. I have always admired how the band has maintained their bold artistic approach even though it’s constantly being met with skepticism by mass audiences and hardcore fans alike. Just gotta let it go, I guess.

#vampire weekend #only god was above us #ogwau #music

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sup3r-nh · 2 years ago

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Kikuo's MAWARU - A perfect mix of misery and fake happiness (rant)

(These images are taken from my MAWARU fan comic on Pixiv)

Felt like doing a small kikuo rant about my fave song!

Imo, it's one of kikuo's most geniusly composed songs. Theres so many unique things about it! Stuff ive never heard before in any other song! When it comes to the sound effect mix, miku's voice mixing, the structure, the instrumental choice and sound effects! And i just love how not only the lyrics r trying to display a sort of story, but the music itself and composition also brings hints and detail about the story in a melodic way! Its not just a song about spinning as it spins you around as well. Not only singer is drunk, you are too.

The song gives off a very weird and confusing feel dosent it? It feels both painful and happy at the same time? Yup. And im not talking the Don't Look at Me That Way kind. Im talking the more chaotic intense type, where you can clearly feel the utter pain Miku is going through while "doing it with a smile", even the "what to do what to do? I fall looking at my broken heart" part has her constantly changing from misery mode to happiness mode with her voics and the melody constantly changing from upsetting to upbeat, tho most of the other parts of the song just feel like pain and happiness played at the same time mixed together into this odd chaos. I think this is a fantastic melodic way to express emotional instability and the effects of being drunk, as they are implied in the lyrics "the sentimental drunkard rages and laughes".

Not to mention, the song, unlike having repeating main and side choruses, has NINE OR TEN fucking parts... the "main" one being at last. Not only is it hella unique w great smooth transitions, but it also adds to the chaotic aspect of the song. Descend into madness, constant change of moods, a lot of emotions at once, events of storytelling.

What else? Ofc, our beloved Miku. Even tho Kikuo used normal voicebank Miku in this song, she still sounds... odd... dosen't she? Not only her voice has unknown mixing technique making her voice feel atmospheric in a sort of odd chaotic way, but she sounds... drunk? Then sounds like she's going insane at the last bit by singing w high pitch, almost like screaming. Her voice also transforms into the instrumental bit in the "dance! Dance!" Part.

Also i can't fucking tell what kinda trumpet he used in the song? He tuned it so well its unrecognizable (to me at least).

I just love it when songs display their metaphors and hidden meanings musically as well and kikuo just nails it so perfectly and uniquely in this song!!! How tf does he do that...

Anyways i hope yall enjoyed this rant if u read it up till here!

#it also makes me feel drunk even tho i never drank before #also apperantly a number of ppl imagine psychedelical imagery to it while its MV is blank w some black scribbles on it #kikuo #vocaloid #hatsune miku #ボーカロイド #きくお #dark music #初音ミク

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emilyblame · 2 years ago

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‘Intellectual Property’ thoughts

i already wrote something about this album, but after listening to it on repeat for a week, i have some more things to say.

before i go straight into the track by track, i wanna say that i really love the album. and i wasn’t expecting to. i listened to it on Friday with zero expectations and was pleasantly surprised to find myself enjoying it, especially the deep cuts. and the more i listened to it, the more i loved it. and even after a week i keep finding things hidden in the songs, effects, little details that make me love each of them more.

Favorite song: still Closer. sorry.

St*rfucker

the first time I heard this song i hated the autotune in it, but the more i listened to it, the less i cared about it. there is so much going on production-wise, it now distracts me from the autotune. i mean, this bass track is insane, i really love it. i know Awsten said he referenced Fuzzy a lot in this track, but i think there’s a difference between referencing and using the same concept. i like that he took the concept of ‘demons driving a limo to his window’ and shifted it into him becoming a ‘demon’ and driving his love interest crazy by grabbing ‘the wheel’ (ie: control) of the relationship and taking it whenever he wants it to go.

speaking of the lyrics… i know he’s probably talking about some relationship with a girl, but i can’t help but wonder if the line ‘i signed somebody’s NDA’ is about Elijah maybe. because they seemed to be really close friends (like, they hung out all the time) and then all of a sudden they didn’t speak anymore and neither of them said anything about it. that was super weird. also the lines ‘LA’s such a fucking weird place’ and ‘you can’t hide my face but save me for a rainy day’ make me think of the song they wrote together, Rainy Days In LA. but i could be completely wrong… most likely.

and i already talked about this, but i really like the abrupt ending and how that plays into Real Super Dark.

Real Super Dark

the music in this track is insane. the vocals are good too, i just hate the way Awsten scream sounds. i’ve said this before, but to me, he sounds like an enraged poodle when he’s screaming and i find it both comical and annoying. the lyrics have some cringe-worthy moments much in the same way Numb did, what with the Coldplay and the scummy-dummy-whatever-the-fuck-he’s-saying lines. here we have the Otto ‘serial-killing’ him line that unnecessarily drags along the entire song (although, i have to admit the line ‘Otto, I’m sorry, stop’ reminds me of the “Louisiana Hotel” video and i find that somewhat endearing.) but the rest of the lyrics are okay. oh, and i really love the da-da-das too.

i mean, what i really love about this song, and why i think it’s so fucking good even though i hate Awsten’s scream, is that it feels like what the lyrics are about. does that make sense? I mean, he says ‘i wake up and i’m up and i’m down’ and the song is literally a rollercoaster: it goes heavy with the guitars and the screaming and then it has the very soft da-da-das and he goes from screaming to falsetto and vice versa. it sounds exactly like being angry one moment, then being okay at the next, then angry again, then like you don’t give a fuck anymore. and i don’t know how Awsten achieved that, or if he was intentionally trying to, but he got it and he got it right.

Funeral Grey

musically this song is so summery and perfect. it’s great to jump and dance too, and even sing along too if you can pretend to not understand the lyrics. like, the vocal melody just feels so nice to sing along to, but if you pay attention to the lyrics, it makes you go yikes :/ boi why.

and i know Awsten’s fragile ego gets butthurt whenever we criticise his lyrics, but it’s really his fault we’re so demanding with them. we got two albums packed with perfectly crafted lyrics (‘Double Dare’ and ‘Entertainment’) only for him to get ‘dumber’ with time, it just doesn’t make sense. and it’s kinda disappointing. i know this song is supposed to be lighthearted and fun, but lyrics just fall flat.

(i legit spent ten minutes just trying to come up with an example of how he already made lighthearted and fun lyrics but honestly? every Parx song is so packed with emotion, i couldn’t come up with one.)

you know how this song feels? like Fruit Roll Ups. music? insane. lyrics? burn them to the ground until there’s nothing left.

Brainwashed

this song is perfect. music is incredible, vocals are amazing. the lyrics are good. again, a very dancy, jump-along-to song. yes.

also, finally we get a good riff, like, FINALLY. we all know they both can shred, why the fuck is he constantly holding back on riffs and solos is beyond me. the bass track: crazy. and i love it when he sings fast, so… this song is a 10/10 for me, there’s nothing that could make it better, it’s perfect.

(i hate the way he pronunces ‘syndrome’ but it’s still perfect.)

2 Best Friends

we~eeell… i talked about this one already. it sounds like an unfinished demo. and i say ‘unfinished’ because we’ve heard Awsten’s demos; they can sound like they were recorded on a potato, alright, but never unfinished.

the lyrics are… meh, but they get the point across. i really enjoy the juxtaposition of how happy the song sounds with the lyrics ‘it didn’t work and i feel like shit / wake up tomorrow and try again’. that moment feels like a shrug emoji, and i kinda love it, honestly. also, i really like the little synth/piano melody that plays at the end of the chorus; it’s refreshing.

but, yeah, generally this is the weakest song in the album. then again, if we compare it with ‘Greatest Hits’, it’s not even that much of a low point. i feel like LIKE IT is more of a disappointment within ‘Greatest Hits’ than 2 Best Friends is for ‘Intellectual Property’. and i really like LIKE IT.

End Of The Water (Feel)

i love this song. it’s really good. i absolutely adore the line ‘why can’t we act like you and i are alive at the same time’. like, yes, why are human beings so complicated. then again, it shouldn’t be complicated. so if it feels like a lot of work it’s probably not meant to be.

philosophical tangents aside, this is a good song. i can see it becoming a fan favorite (speaking of, i should probably do a poll soon.) i really like how funky it sounds. i kinda keep imagining what it would sound like if Ross Lynch sang it.

Self-Sabotage

i absolutely loved this song from day one. the lyrics are brutally honest and genuine. i love seeing Awsten not putting himself as the victim for once. not to overlook on the fact that he’s a fucking dick, i don’t care how much your heart got broken, it doesn’t justify you being horrible to someone else. it’s not a valid defence mechanism, you’re just an asshole.

back to the music: love it. impossible not to jump to the chorus every single time, it’s so catchy. also, i never thought i’d say this, but i kinda love how breathy Awsten’s voice is in this one.

i also really like the line ‘i want this to work so bad / but i want what i can’t have’.

Ritual

boy this song is… a lot. in a good way. i like that it’s only three verses that repeat, and all of them are fucking gems. but my favorite part is the build up to the bridge + the bridge + the outro: it sounds insane. lights off, headphones on. there’s so much going on. i love the strings and the panning is insane. did Zakk Cervini produce this one too? cheers, bro, it’s incredible.

one thing i wish he did is hold a scream right after ‘shut the fuck up’ during the outro. but i understand that’s not what Awsten does and honestly, with his screaming it wouldn’t be that good. but with a good screamer… ooohhhh boy.

Fuck About It

another one i liked from the first listen. i talked about this before: i like bear’s voice but i hate bear’s verse. it does not fit well with the rest of the song. it is cringy as fuck and also it says things Awsten would neverrrr. but whatever, the song sounds good. i really like bear’s high harmonies on the second chorus.

one thing i never understood was why people went crazy over the last ‘baby’, though. like… it’s not that impressive, or sexy, or anything. i would be more impressed if he would’ve belted it, Royal stylez.

Closer

this song is… an infinite/10. it’s so fucking perfect, i’m so glad they’re playing it on the in-store acoustic shows. it deserves all the fucking love it can get. my favorite thing is the subtle strings in it. i love how vulnerable the lyrics are. and i know Awsten is gonna be all like ‘yOU oNLy LikE mE wHEn i’M hurTInG’ which is not fucking true. we like you better when you’re honest, not when you’re trying to be clever.

this song is honest and it’s vulnerable, and it feels like he’s finally being able to bare his soul and heart even though it hurts and it makes him feel like shit. it kinda makes me think of Crybaby, the way it feels.

it’s so good. i especially love how soft the last chorus is; here’s another good example of Awsten’s voice becoming breathy, but i think this time is because he’s singing too soft to hit that note and so his voice gives out. but it makes for a cool effect. it makes me want to hug him and telling him it’s all gonna be okay.

A Night Out On Earth

what a fucking good album closer. i mean. stars all around. yes. the music is amazing, the lyrics are so good, there’s a couple lines here that are just a slap on the face (in a good way.)

all of Waterparks’ closing tracks are amazing. well— See You In The Future has some cringy lyrics (most of it, honestly.) but the rest of the closing tracks are awesome, so it’s really not surprising that this one is also stellar.

i fucking love the lines: ‘i turn pain into rent and sing along’, ‘life gave me lemons now i bleed lemonade’, ‘now i just wanna fall asleep in my own’, and ‘was i loved or was i right?’

but generally all the lyrics are good. i like this song a lot. the guitar riff/solo over the last chorus/outro… yes. also, that Fish feature. babies <3 i love Fish he’s such a cool guy. I like how that plays with the line ‘i ain’t jumping out the window’ because it reinforces its meaning: that he’s come so far and he’s not done yet.

so, i said this at the very beginning but overall: the album is good. and it sounds good as it is. i loved ‘FANDOM’ but it was a little messy, i re-ordered it in a way that it tells the story of him falling in love and then the relationship going sour (kinda like what he did with ‘Intellectual Property’.) and i also had to re-order ‘Greatest Hits’ so that it tells the story of Awsten slowly losing his mind (is the only way i listen to the album now, otherwise it gets boring to me.)

what i love about ‘Intellectual Property’ is that every song in it feels deliberate. as if he sat down to write a good album; an album that told a story instead of just info-dumping us his problems in the form of songs. Awsten learned the ‘less is more’ lesson.

i really hope they get their top 10. they deserve it. even if not for this album alone, but for ‘Double Dare’ and ‘Entertainment’. for Parx history. for Awsten not selling out and making a pop-punk record. thank. god. he didn’t. that would’ve been extremely disappointing.

anyway, i am rambling. i’m gonna finish this up by saying: this is a fucking good record. and if you don’t like it right now it’s totally fine, it’s completely valid. but give a moment. let it breathe. come back to it. you still hate it? give it more time. let it breathe again. come back to it, come back to it a thousand times, it’s worth it.

#waterparks #i don’t know what it is about Awsten but i just love him #he’s like the little brother you can’t stand because he’s constantly over excited and annoying #but you can’t help it. he’s your baby brother. you have to protect him #i feel like that’s why Otto and Geoff stick around

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caitierose-butwithfics · 1 year ago

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Sunflowers

Author's Notes: Finally doing this prompt by @megamegamegastar!!! Very sorry for the delay, I hope it is worth the wait:) For this fic, I do headcannon that Camalide and Stell are Hispanic, Magma and Thund are Filipino, and that Thund is deaf. Hope you guys enjoy!!!

Camalide took one last look in the mirror, admiring her new outfit. It was a blue sequined jumpsuit, folded at the bottom. In the folds was a shimmering gold silk. Gold and blue were her best colors, so why change them?

She kept her hair in her customary Bantu buns. That kept her hair out of her face and honestly she loved the look on her.

She was just about to grab her bag and wait in the car when she heard a dramatic "Audayme!! Cami, I'm stuck!!"

Shaking her head with a smile, she went to help her overly dramatic brother. Stell had been that way since they were small, always needing his big sister to help him out. She entered his room and then doubled over in laughter. He had somehow gotten stuck in the red sweater he was wearing tonight, and was comically trying to get unstuck.

"Stand still, would you? Dios mio, how did this even happen? How hard is it to put a sweater on?"

"I was multi-tasking, and I must have gotten my holes mixed up."

"Do me a favor, never ever say that again, ok?" God, Stell was so fucking oblivious. But sure enough, he has stuck his arm in where his neck was supposed to go.

Stell, stepped back, looking at his sweater in the mirror. His smile fell as he saw his reflection. "You know, in hindsight, maybe this sweater wasn't the best of buys."

"Well, too late to change. Come on!"

***

Camilade rarely dressed up. But today was a special day.

When Stell was in kindergarten, he had instantly clicked with this boy named Thund. From that point on, you could never catch Thund without Stell, and vice versa. Thund had been adopted by his cousin's family when he was a baby, and he had one cousin that was around Camilade's age, named Magma. Magma and Camilade had also clicked, and the four formed a tight friend group. They did everything together, and would often hang out at Magma and Thund's parents'restaurant. It was one of the most popular restaurants in SunHorizon, and today was the day SunHorizon had won the infamous Showdown, so of course Magma's family was going to throw the biggest party that Danceverse had ever seen.

Camilade brushed herself off as she excited the car, feeling the rush of excitement in the air. A group of kids ran by, sparklers in hand. Music that was a staple for SunHorizon played in the air, joined by a melody of laughter and conversation.

"Cami!!!" Camilade perked up at the melodious sound of Magma. She had a sing song voice, always sounding like she was on the verge of breaking out into a song.

She was running towards Camilade, one hand hidden behind her back. Her breath caught at the sight of Magma's dress. It was a bright pink color, reaching just above her knees. It was a wonder how she was running so fast, since she was wearing tall gold heels. Her hair was down, flowing past her waist. She reached Camilade and gave her a single handed hug. Camilade felt warmth rise to her checks. Must be the heat.

"Maggie!!! That dress is so pretty!!!"

"You're one to talk! Look at the jumpsuit. It looks gorgeous on you!!!" Camilade felt her cheeks go bright red at the compliment. God, something must be terribly wrong with her.

"Look, I have a surprise for you!" She pulled her hand out from behind her back to reveal a bright yellow crown of Sunflowers. Camilade's favorite flower. "Ta-dah!!!"

"Oh my God Maggie, it's gorgeous. Thank you so much!!! Did you make this?"

"I did!" She did a little curtsy, then grabbed Camilade's hand and ran with her towards the celebration. "Come on, the party's this way!!!"

***

Camalide touched her cheeks, eyes widening in shock. Have her cheeks always been this hot?? Is she sick?? What was going on??

Magma had sat them down, telling them she was going to go food for them and then running off. Camilade had tried looking for her in the crowd, but there were just too many people. Magma had said that Thund was finishing up helping out in the kitchen, and then he would join them.

She looked up, and froze as she saw her. Magma was ordering them all food, but there was something about the way she was talking to the man at the counter... she could hear her voice from here. She was literally the sweetest person Camalide ever knew. She had such a gentle, shy voice... Camalide hid her face in her hands, feeling her face grow more and more red. God, what was wrong with her?

"Cami, you ok?" She felt an arm on her back. That had to be Stell.

"No. I'm sick. Me siento mal. Mui mal."

Stell laughed uproariously. God, why did he have to be so fucking loud?!

"Yeah. Sick with love maybe."

Camalide shot up with a glare. "Absolutely not!"

"Sure you are. I've noticed how you look at Maggie. You are a hopeless romantic."

Camalide hid her face in her hands again, this time out of embarrassment. She had absolutely no feelings for Magma. None whatsoever. No chance.

Right?

#just dance 2024 #fanfic #jd headcanons #just dance #just dance 2023

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vanerespira · 2 years ago

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Inner chaos (The first draft)

Healing through writing is an action I have done before. One that I like to believe I’m going to keep doing until it loses its magical properties. It’s not that I’m waiting for the writing to stop working for me, though, it’s that I’m open to being surprised by other possibilities.

But make no mistake: Writing will forever be my root, my first love.

Language and its richness and complexities and implications have always been at the center of most of my obsessions. It’s in the How do I describe this feeling? This love/dislike/fear/sadness? Can I, even? How can I reach out to anyone else if not like this?

I’m so attracted to stories that I can’t remember a day that I hadn’t read something or talked to someone just so I could imagine scenes, seeing flashes of moving pictures inside my brain that are straight out of movies or show framings except that they are impossible to recreate because it doesn’t matter how good of an artist one is, a single frame can’t contain all the big and small details that a mind can conjure in just one close-up. It can be very darn close, not it’s never quite right.

Processing feeling through stories, integrating traumas and difficult situations using words is an old, old tool. It has been used intentionally and unconsciously since the very beginning of humanity (myths and legends explaining all the things that are out of our control, for example). Still, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people paint or draw, some dance or act, others sing and/or design and create things. Art, apparently, has always been part of the answer.

Movies, of course, although visual art, are deeply interwoven with writing. After all, without a story to tell, there’s no movie to make, no manga or comic to draw, no monologue to recite, no recipe to follow.

Language, stories, and writing. They are interconnected to the point that I don’t know if I can separate them. All three of them are the focus of my attention whenever I find myself exploring, well, myself. What’s the most fitting word to describe this feeling? What is this feeling, even? What’s the story I’m telling myself here? What’s the script that I’m following? What can I do next to change this or to keep growing?

I think about these questions a lot. That’s me writing in my journal after therapy, that’s me pausing Hunter x Hunter in the middle of a battle after Killua moved slightly to the left looking cocky and uninterested with his enemy, that me repeating a song after a phrase or a melody or a tone of voice left me breathless, after eating a piece of something I really enjoyed. That’s me, locking my eyes with a person and wishing they would become my friend.

That’s me over and over, wondering: what are my words right now? What am I feeling? What I’m expecting to happen next? How can I make it happen?

I’ve heard before that some people think in images and, honestly, that sounds cool. I can do that as well if I try. But really? I usually think in abstract emotions and feelings and in words. Conscious words. Sometimes even using languages that I only know one word but the feeling is the right one.

And now I’m reading about the connection of writing with breathing. Color me intrigued. Color me in questions and curiosity. Color me (picture me) in the same questions: How the hell can I put all of this knowledge, these feelings, this healing, into words, now that I know even more words to describe it? What kind of stories I’m going to find about myself? How can I change it, how can I embrace it? How do I know what to do next?

(How can I write a paper for my institute about without sounding like a fanatical of language and stories instead of someone that just wants to open a safe space for creation and rewriting and healing? How? Is it even possible? What are the words I'm looking for here?)

This is me, making an effort to integrate the first batch of my very abstract feelings from the very first chapter of my current book. This is me reaching out for the words, the story, for more language. This is me, writing for the hell of it and healing something inside while at it.

I don't know what I'm going to find in the next chapters. But I know how I'm feeling about it: fascinated. (There. That's the perfect word.)

#about writing #breathing #words #stories #integration #book #Writing begins with the breath

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foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland · 2 years ago

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okay so. im like. idk ANY music theory. like. at all apart from when i played the piano for a couple years when i was like 7. so. this is definitely the ramblings of a guy who is being very autistic about bug video game. and nothing more. (and also has been done before i am purely doing this for @exnihilo-comic bc they asked me on my thoughts) BUT. i am sooooo fucking insane about the hollow knight ost. (LONGGGG post below the cut)

SO LIKE. theres OBVIOSULY the like. main theme yknow. thats in enter hallownest and the title screen song. the one that goes likeeee errr. (wait i gotta look up smth rq)

OKAY SO THERES THIS. (just taken from here) :

anddd theres this :

WHICH is like. yknow. the whole Big leitmotif of. Everything. BUT. the thing is. i was wondering which songs specifically it is in. bc like. im hoping its not just. hallownest’s motif. and more for smth specifically. BUT YEA. so so far theres obviously the title screen and enter hallownest (which is the trailer music im p sure ?)(ok yea it was the ferocious foes trailer music). BUT. im gonna go thru all the songs n see which ones have this in (i will not be accurate as im going by ear since errrrr. im not the best at reading sheet music)

okay well dirtmouth (taken from here) IMMEDIATELY has the theme in it (with the bit in red missing)

it is clearly slower n in a dif key but like. the same theme

and pretty much most of the melody of dirtmouth is like. essentially this same theme. just a loaddd slower. and in a dif key. im not gonna screenshot each comparison and try to pinpoint each difference bc. like ive said, idk music theory. i just like video game osts.

okay so crossroads is a little more difficult but to me it sounds like it possibly has the same chord progression ? but i may be speaking out my arse so someone who actually knows what theyre talking abt could draw comparisons.

altho i DO want to talk abt the crossroads track. this is the part where i start bullshitting FULLY. so like smth i LOVE abt it is how very drawn out each note is. like it sets the scene of hk PERFECTLY. its like. the track feels a lot more loose ? i suppose ? than the other songs you wouldve heard by now. which ig feels like it rlly shows how sorta. abandoned and like. i mean “forgotten” the “forgotten” crossroads rlly r. like they have no sorta form left but its clear that crossroads was once a place w a lot more life in it besides the handful of npcs u meet there (well like. yknow. uninfected life). but the one thing abt the crossroads track is that it sounds. calm yknow. which does reflect the crossroads compared 2 the other locations. the enemies there r simple enough to defeat and theres plenty of safe spots. its right under dirtmouth so its (before its infected) the safest area a player will explore for a whileeee. anyways ye the crossroads track is cool.

okay w the false knight battle theme i wasnt RLLY gonna say anything abt it BUT. it does actually have the main theme in it.

(link)

sooo yea so far the only connection ive made is Almost Every Song Has This Theme In It.

oh also in the false knight theme there is this ONE bit that sounded a little like the very beginning of the mantis lords theme to me but idk theyre not the CLOSEST just similar.

anyways next song: greenpath. so i THINK its happened again and THE WHOLE BIG LEITMOTIF IS ONCE AGAIN HERE.

like dirtmouth it is slower and in a different key but thats definitely it. which honestly was unexpected i didnt think it was in any area music. so once again, i think this is in literally almost EVERY track so thats making me more wonder abt the tracks its NOT in. but ill come to that later maybe. what i do want to know is if theres anything else in greenpaths track thats in another song. what im thinking is perhaps therell be a similarity between greenpath and hornets battle music ?

okay this sorta call and response thing here is interesting to me because it sounds veryyyy familiar to me. (everytime i have heard it tho it just sounds like either hornets voice at some point or when sly says gibolen mas sooo take this as u will. i am however listening 2 a couple of hornets lines and the closest i think there is is when she says la fe nuva nido or whatever that gibberish is) anyways the call and response interests me.

anyways more abt greenpaths song in general terms, i do love how this one feels a lot more full of life than crossroads, because crossroads felt very barren w the blue and the brick(?) whereas greenpath is full of life, just in the sense of scenery. its (obviously) a lot greener and full of plant life which already feels loads more alive. and the enemies there also arent simply just husks (AND EVIL SAP MONSTERS) theres like. theres moss creatures and fucking squits and those shooty wall things and just a whole lot more life, and that is reflected very well in the track bc it sounds a lot more full and like it has actual emotion. and even the battle theme (like where u fight the moss knight) is a lotttt more emotional and tense than crossroads’ - which feels a lot more like just sorta. primal fear what with a beat that sounds almost like a heartbeat and the repetitive drums. but greenpaths battle theme is a LOT more lively and dance-like and it has DEPTH. idk i thinkkk im rambling a little but i do love greenpaths contrast with crossroads

OKAY. hornets battle theme. smth obviously noticed a lot before is her theme is comprised of only string instruments (yknow bc. shes a spider n uses a needle and will star in SILKsong so like. yeah. string) ONCE AGAIN. the main motif is in this song surprise surprise. (link)

altho smth interesting abt it is how it changes depending on which half of the theme is playing. for the first half the er. whatever u call the top bit i forgot. is playing it (and im prettyyy sure its a violin or viola or smth similar). but then it switches to the er. bottom line. and is played by a perhaps cello ??? smth lower than the first instrument. and different. which i think is a nice little thing AND is similar to the call and response from greenpath.

thats p much all i can say in terms of “technical” stuff BUT. in terms of vibes. I love how perfect this is for hornets fight. it definitely reflects how shes a lot more agile than the false knight and depends less on pure strength and more on her movement in the arena. i love how very fast paced it is AND HOW HAPPY IT IS. it is a VERY happy piece because hornet is ENJOYING HERSELF. bc yes her and ghost r fighting but she never wants to HURT it (even if i DIED to her like. a million times.) and WE never hurt her, we just beat her (and if ur a speedrunner, bully her in a corner) but she laughs during the fight, she has silly little battle cries, shes having a FUN TIME. which is shown in the music bc its CONSISTENTLY HAPPY. also the very sharp and sorta staccato (see i know SOME music terminology) notes throughout r veryyy fitting for the fights pacing and hornets attacks.

Okay this has been sitting in mt drafts for a bit and idk i might rb w add ons but j think i was just on smth else that night bc ive never been like. In the Mindset(tm) to do more of this. Ok. Have fun exnihilo person. Yea.

#night thoughts #hollow knight #if this makes no sense blame me from like a week ago or smth idk

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yupzzin · 3 months ago

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- This is a bit of thread of me rambling about Kai no Kiseki's soundtrack

I heard some bits when the OST mini released and some RIPs from the game and i was quite suprised by the event themes and other tracks by Koguchi/Sonoda which it gave me a bit of hope to be at least better than Kuro 2's music.

After the stream of me hearing the soundtrack as a whole, there's not a doubt in my mind that's very easily one of the best soundtrack since CS4. That's not a high bar for some people but since CS3, i couldnt feel the energy in some of the members in the soundteam had anymore. It feels like Unisuga and bit on Sonoda as well didnt feel like the need to put as much effort as before.

Talking about Sonoda, you could geniuely feel the burnout in some of his songs. Of course there's a track that goes above of his standards (Spiral of Time) but nothing like 2015 Sonoda, it's hard to blame since staying with soundteam for that long, while writing music ever year can be very tiring. With that out of the way, Sonoda's work in Kai might be one of my favorites since YS8/TX era, but it kinda sucks that he is stuck doing Grim Garten dungeon/ambient tracks but still amazing regardless. It's nice to see how much of his tracks and especially the boss theme in Grim Garten is pretty much favorite from his, i'm really excited to hear his music in Tokyo Xanadu 2.

Now, it's time for Koguchi.

Koguchi's evolution in terms of instrumentation and melody was really cool to hear in YS X but i feel like he wasnt given enough chance to have more variety and chances to write a boss theme/dungeon theme. Most of his tracks were used quite poorly especially how song was longer than the actual small battles it played.

But with Kai, it's different case. His event themes are on par on Unisuga's levels for me, enhancing the enjoyment of certain scenes and the piano oriented tracks that he is asked to, is nothing but unbelievable in how much he has grown across the years. The battle themes are step up, the tense theme like ''Farewell my Dear'' is breathtaking, the new versions of Edith and Old Town theme are immaculate, the ''Battle Junction'' is the definitely my favorite rock track of him in Falcom already, surpassing the final boss track 2 of YS X, Kevin's theme makes me a bit sad there's not a motif but it's still a treat to hear, the Title Theme surpassing my expectations after Kuro 2's title theme. The only thing for me is him caring to do some of the motifs that Sonoda does or uses the motif of the songs he made.

Now to Singa.

I'm going straight to the point, i expected worse for him after his Kuro 2 and YS X work. Comical instrumentation choices in most of his songs especially in his event themes/dungeon/especially boss themes. It's funny but cool to see he was asked to do more piano/jazz oriented tracks with sometimes ADD (SAX player) more than the usual, which he is asked to do rock tracks when his main focus and talent is around those two things i mentioned? It doesn't make a bit of sense, regardless some uncessary placements in some of his tracks like why change the sewer track/night theme track of Kuro 1 since it was already perfect with setting of Calvard itself, but in this point especifically, i don't blame Singa on this one. The ''Longlai'' theme and the piano track with the Ending's motif is nothing short of spectacle of hear, really love the touch that made the Ending song give more of a punch. I really wished i like some of the boss themes more, the Shizuna vs Rean boss theme is really good composition wise but it needs a live guitar quite badly. ''Boss Theme 4'' feels like a YS X leftover that went into Trails, and again it needs more power so a live guitar like Sekiguchi/Yoshida but ''Boss Theme 8'' is pretty much what i've wanted...a live guitar LOL, really like Yoshida's work on this one, way better compared ''Arrogant Desire''. The piano track in Van Act 3 is incredible and makes me 95% that he composed ''Lapis''. Overall, as always i think he could've done a bit better but miles better than his Kuro 2's work with the same amount of it as well.

Now with Unisuga.

I don't know what to feel after not hearing his music in recent Falcom's soundtracks for a while and honestly it makes me a bit sad because i wish all the 3 soundteam composers would work together to make a soundtrack that good again like 2013-16 era. It would actually be the dream, but going to the recent days.

I'm still 50/50 on this but i still think ''Event 2'' is Unisuga for me, it reminds a bit ''In the Darkness of Ignorance'' but it's still very 50/50 since Koguchi has the same equips of Unisuga.

The dungeon on Van's Act 2 is makes me think it's Unisuga as well but it's still a bit far fetch to me until i hear the friedlander violin in 0:47. But going through the big one ''Final Boss 2'' is just WOW, it's absolutely crazy to think that, this is a reject song from Cold Steel 3, the percussion and orchestral choices makes me think of it until i hear the vocals which is a first from him, from what i believe. It's crazy to think that is at least top 3 for me, it just shows how much talented Unisuga is, and how much his music is deeply missed.

Lastly, Jindo!

After the last 4 jindo tracks in YS X, it made me wish he was given more tracks considering how it was nothing but spectular but sad with how the placement of his tracks were. But right after the game is out, it was confirmed that Jindo did the YS 35th album so it makes sense of him less tracks than the normal.

I was quite suprised to hear and see later with how Jindo we had in Kai, making the most original compositions he had since Cold Steel 3. This is my honest opnion but i really hate how ''Warrior of Valhalla'' was overused in the Dengeki Stream, it kinda made me think this is okay for Jindo standards, not to mean it's bad or anything. I like the ''Rise of the Grendel motif'' in 0:19, ''And then, to the space - Sky'' is the beatiful, i missed Nagano's violin so much. The second half of the song is cinema, the strings working together with Nagano is so so GOOD!

But for me my favorite from his is ''Boss theme 2'', really big fan of the energy and the synth work around 0:43 until the chorus, it makes me think he was having the fun of his life writing it. The ''Sunshine Coastline'' in 2:02 puts a smile on my face, i'm so glad Jindo is still doing music for Falcom, his orchestral work on ''Boss Theme 3'' makes me believe this is ''Zero Break Battle'' and ''Rivalry of the Seven'' son.

This is a bit of a hot-take but ''The Legend of VII'' is bit weaker than i expected, again it's the same case of ''Warriors of Valhalla'', it's still a good track but it makes sense it's Unused, probably made around Hajimari, i love the ''Class VII'' motif though.

Now for the Final Dungeon's theme, it's really good. Way better than Kuro 2's final dungeon honestly, the intro sets the tone and the build up doesnt feel repetitive, i just wished the chorus was a bit better but still amazing overall, ''la revue'' is incredible, Nagano's violin is special and shines with Jindo's compostion so perfectly, makes me think of YS 8 ending song..

Overall it's not better than the 2010-15 era, not even close but i can geniuely feel the attempt of making a soundtrack memorable to the listener and that i can appreciate it. I would rank higher than Hajimari for me.

If you read all the way through the here, thank you.

I never did this before but i got the itch of writing something about Falcom music and it's something i'm always passionate to talk about it.

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weirdthoughtsandideas · 1 year ago

Text

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 9 🕺🏼

🎨 biamakesart Follow

Hi!! I made a new comic 💜 Like and reblog

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Haha that happened to me and my friends once 🤣

3 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

Randomly remember when my dad explained to me that him and his then fiancée were getting married. But he didn’t say that, he started to do this elaborate story about some papa bear that was on his way to meet mama bear at the meadow and saw a flying unicorn or something. That was his ”metaphors” for how they were getting married.

Some extra context to this story: I was 18 when he told me this.

👩🏻‍🦱 dangerously-beautiful-ant Follow

In that case, how did he explain like… how babies are made?

I both want and do not want to know.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

”Imagine a pegasus and a unicorn. They love each other very much, and so they run across the rainbow together. Their love causes it to rain ice cream and everyone is so happy! Soon there’s a new pony appearing when the unicorn shoots glitter from its magical horn. All the magical elfs celebrate the arrival of the pony, which of course is purple and sparkles a lot! Now, do you have any questions?”

10 year old me:

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

How did you even go through puberty?!

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

I’m asking myself this every single day.

30 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

When someone has hurt you, remember that everyone has the same bodily functions as you do.

What I am saying is that, whenever someone has made you feel awful, just picture them farting. They aren’t so scary anymore now, are they?

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I tried this and then I immediately felt bad because I pictured my mom finding out I thought such a ”vulgar” thought about her and shamed me for it

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Then picture her burping after shaming you. Who is ashamed now?

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Camila have you pictured these things about me?

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Yes.

#you’re my childhood rival #I need to picture you doing gross human things so I feel superior

76 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I remember when my coach told me I reminded her of a singer she loved as a kid. That singer made her heart beat a lot… and that’s why she wanted me to pursue music because I reminded her of it.

Anyway I am theorizing if she had a crush on that singer and now she wants me to give a new generation of girls crushes with my sweet melodies.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

You're already giving this generation of girls crushes on you <3

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Define ”girls”. In plural. Haven’t seen or heard anyone except for Jim.

7 notes

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Tumblr is fun. I interact more with people I know irl on here than I do with them irl.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Yeah, especially some people who you barely interact with irl and thus you don’t know them well enough to know it’s very obviously their Tumblr blog 🤣

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

He does not even seem to know the tumblr blogs of people he DOES interact with a lot irl. He may just suck at knowing people.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

I know people!

I wish Gastón was here, he'd defend me.

📸 felicityfornow Follow

@rollertrack

🎥 rollertrack Follow

Oh hi. I’m here. I just don’t post a lot anymore I’m mostly here to send memes to people in DMs.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Can you help defend me from these people who tease me

🎥 rollertrack Follow

I always got your back, man 🙌🏼 But tbh it’s kind of funny how you aren’t figuring out who people are 😝 Some of these are so easy, and it’s people who I personally don’t talk to a lot either irl!

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Come on man… give me some hints

14 notes

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

At the convention now and I found a nice pin that suited me 💜

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

I love that so much! Wish I could have gone to the convention with you!

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

Have you found any pin for me?

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

I found three pins, all that I think represent us three specifically. Guess which one is yours

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Please tell me you’re not at the starcon…

🎀 italys-biggest-bow-collector Follow

Oh i’m at the starcon! I’m not cosplaying or anything like that, and I’m into more niche things that I wouldn’t find here in the first place… however, I often end up finding something interesting, something I didn’t think I wanted. Like those pins, or sometimes VHS tapes of old stuff that are impossible to find, or are impossible to find with that dub.

Why? Are you there?

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

She is. She could go without even asking but not me because my dad can’t have control over her, but he refuses to let me do anything…

She’s also in cosplay >:3

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

I’m not in cosplay!!

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

She’s in cosplay ;) You’ll know exactly that it’s her when you see her

28 notes

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Hey I found something interesting while at the con!

I have no idea what the actual babygirls are in that competition but I vote for @rollerskatingonthemoon

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

In that case I vote for you back! 😜

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Yay may the best babygirl win!! 😍

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Why are you two like this

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

ÁMBAR IS A BABYGIRL TOO!!! VOTE FOR HER!!

💍 queenoftherink Follow

See this is why I don’t go to these cons. They make people weird.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

You’re missing out, we’re cosplaying Team Rocket right now and you would have made a perfect Meowth 😹

44 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

If my stepdaughter walks out in an astronaut outfit and cat ears, and having a spacy makeup, should I be concerned about that?

Or is it just the latest fashion?

0 notes

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

I have a new video idea 😁 And I wanna ask you guys here before I ask people irl.

For people with uteruses: If you told your parents you were pregnant today, how would they react?

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

*wrecks the entire house in an angry rampage* ”WHAT?! WHO DID THIS TO YOU?!”

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

”Oh, who’s the father? Ha! Don’t tell me, it was just some random one, huh?”

Then she’d kind of accept it but make comments about me probably being unfit to raise a child (she tried to murder 3 people so idk if she’s the best example of how to be a good mother anyway)

💍 queenoftherink Follow

”I am going to assume you know what you’re doing, and that this was planned. I can provide you a room if you need to, but you have the responsibility yourself.”

It’s funny that I think that because

I live in a mansion with lots of rooms. I could be pregnant with quadruplets and everyone would have their own room

She doesn’t live here anymore

I guess I am just thinking more how she’d react back when she was the owner of the mansion. Like if she didn’t react like that then she’d maybe be supportive and then when the baby is born she tries to get custody of it or at least force me to live with her so she can be close to the child and influenser it.

But today I guess she’d just be like ”I’m happy” or something. She’s going through therapy. So am I because of the fact that she didn’t until now 😀👍

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

”Oh that’s great, sweetie. Want a cookie?”

(Then we would not discuss it more)

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I think my parents would be very happy for me, although because of my young age they’d act a bit cautious. But, they’d always be supportive ☺️ If the pregnancy was planned, I think they’d trust me that I’m ready, and if the pregnancy was unplanned, I think they’d support me in whatever choice I make about it.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

”Congratulations! Have you planned this for long? Do you know the donor?”

(in my case, I’d have to plan it and use a donor)

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Mom: ”You’re kidding! No!” *hugs me* ”Ok! Have you planned it? When’s the due date? Have you picked out a name? Have you bought everything for the nursery? Are you breastfeeding or bottle feeding? And you know the father is the father? No I’m just asking, sometimes I wonder if your dad is your dad… no, I didn’t cheat on him, but you know… maybe you were switched at birth.”

Dad: ”HI PREGNANT, I’M DAD! Oh, but wait, is it granddad now? No, because it’s YOU who is pregnant and YOU are my daughter, so yes, correct response…”

And bonus: My mom’s wife

”Aww, kisses in the air! Kisses at your belly! Wow! Maybe the child actually is red haired this time, we all thought you would be, but then your dad’s genes got too strong… or I don’t know.”

58 notes

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Last night I dreamt I got triplets, and I made teeny tiny beanies for them.

Anyway anyone wanna make triplets with me? 🥹

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I’m up for adopting triplets and we can raise them together as best friends who are co-parents 😂 Like your cousin and his band

💍 queenoftherink Follow

I’m up for having 3 children with you (although I’d settle with 2 tbh) but not at ONCE

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Ok but… hear me out…

You two, and another person, are surrogates who give birth at the same time and then I’ll take all the babies and dress them up in beanies

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Yeah no, either get me pregnant and expect ONE child per pregnancy, or raise adopted children with Luna as your platonic co-parent

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

Wait, why can’t he get Luna pregnant? 🤔

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I don’t want to

💅🏼 ja-jazmin Follow

But why not? I thought you liked him 😉

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Jazmin, to keep this as simple as possible:

Luna and Simón are best friends and despite trying out some romance in the past, that’s all. They are very close and always will be close, but platonically. That’s why they won’t try for a baby, because they don’t have that relationship. If they raise a child it will be as platonic co-parents. And that child would most likely be adopted.

But me? Well… 😏

… Simón, actually, you wanna try for triplets? I can’t promise anything but come to my room in an hour

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Yay I can be a nanny for the potential triplets then 😁 Or one kid. Or twins.

💍 queenoftherink Follow

And Luna please leave the house for an hour or two

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Glad we solved this 🥳

Actually now I’m just excited if I end up with one kid 🤩

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Ok guys tmi

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Your existence is tmi

27 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

I’m sure I can even turn straight girls a little sapphic 😏 /hj

📸 felicityfornow Follow

Hmm, has it ever happened?

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Well we can start with you. When you wanted to promote my singing and you just wrote a long poem about how my voice takes you to other worlds…

I was very flattered but also you turned into Sappho’s descendant with your descriptions 🙃

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Wait a minute…

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Wuh-oh

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Is this Luna’s secret side blog? Why else would Nina write about her singing?

Has Luna been dating Jim all this time?! And she fooled me by saying she ”barely interacted with me” to put me on the wrong path of figuring it out

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

HELP no i’m not dating Luna

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Matteo is gonna go through every person ever before even considering me

📸 felicityfornow Follow

At this point, I'm wondering if Matteo's gonna find out in the most unexpected and random way.

17 notes

#those pins and also the other convention pictures are from an actual con I went to #(I didn’t cosplay or anything but it was fun going around finding stuff)#and I was like ’you know what? Now the characters need to go to a con’#violetta #soy luna #disney bia #if dcla characters had tumblr

7 notes · View notes

egnidres · 2 years ago

Text

There is the English version at the beginning and the French version afterwards •w•

The Post Dark Cream Comic and Aim belongs to @zu-is-here (and it's also thanks to her that you can read this story XD)

𓆩☬𓆪

The sound of a music box began to be heard in a distorted way, drowned out by the shores of the awakening. When the boy stretched, he tried to remember the melody. Where had he heard it? And who was that dark figure who had suddenly vanished into his dream?

He got out of bed, walking quietly towards the living room where Dream was, who had already started to prepare breakfast. Cross was still sleeping, taking advantage of this Saturday morning to sleep in.

The little one helped his father take the cups and the bowl he gave him, being too high for him, before putting them on the table. He sat quietly at the table, before starting to put milk in his bowl, while the positive one went to wake up his husband.

They both came back into the room, his father's eyes still clouded with sleep and calmly holding his soul mate, having still managed to trap him with his arms. Dream smiled, touched by this gesture he received from his husband every weekend.

He managed to free himself from his hold by sitting down quietly. Cross, before sitting down, kissed his son's forehead, wishing him good morning. They ate lunch in good spirits, as usual.

Then, as he did every weekend, the little skeleton got ready to see his uncle. He looked in the small library in the living room for his favourite book. It was the only one that had been made by hand and his father had already told him that his uncle had made it.

He loved its hardback cover covered with a layer of blue leather, where a huge apple tree was engraved. Some of the apples were completely engraved while others had only the outline defined. On the corners furthest apart, the leather was tinged with yellow at the top and purple at the bottom. Silver corners were attached to each edge of the book, representing a moon and a sun. He knew that the book was called The Power of Feeling, because his uncle told him every time, he read it.

He grabbed it, and then went into the kitchen, taking two small chocolate bars as usual. He checked that he hadn't forgotten anything before opening the door and greeting his parents. Cross said to him:

“You be careful going in.”

“I promise, have a good day.”

They said the same before he closed the door. He went as usual to the playground, where he always waited for his uncle. He liked to have fun here, and sometimes Killer would come and play with him too, but he left quickly after Nightmare arrived.

He walked over to the swing before sitting down, putting the book on his lap. He began to swing quietly, being careful not to knock the book off by going too fast. He stopped abruptly when he heard an unfamiliar voice behind him asking if he was expecting his uncle.

He turned to answer him when he saw his face: a skeleton with pastel pupils and a paintbrush with an ink stain on his cheek. The skeleton his parents had always told him to watch out for. He remained silent, not knowing what to do.

“...You're very quiet. I thought you'd be more talkative than that. You must get that from Cross, he was never really talkative at first. But after we became friends, he was more so.”

“Are you a friend of Dad's?”

“Yes, although I'm more Dream's friend. We've known each other for a long time, and we've had many adventures together. He even bailed me out a few times.”

“Really, it's so cool!”

“But then your parents met, and I never really saw them again... But they never told you about it?”

In the face of Aim's silence, Ink added:

“They never showed you where they declared their love? If you want, I can take you there. It's a place full of so many memories.”

“But Uncle Mare-”

“Nightmare already knows this place; he'll join us when he gets here and doesn't see us. Don't you trust your parents' friends?”

Deep inside, his instincts were screaming at him no, reminding him of their warning. But on the other hand, he knew his uncle and fathers and was a friend of theirs, so he could trust him...? And his uncle knew this place too.

He took the taller boy's hand before the latter combed the ground with his brush, then jumped into the puddle, dragging the child with him. They found themselves in a wooded area, the smell of pine trees could be felt. The snow covered them gently, giving the place a fresh feel.

Ink began to walk through the forest, followed by Aim who marvelled at the place. It reminded him of the woods where he and his parents used to go in the winter. They would have fun skating on the frozen lake that hid in his place, having a snowball fight where his papa would watch them, before starting to have fun with them after taking a snowball on his shoulder because of his dad, and they would end their day all at home over hot chocolate. Maybe he would see a place like that here, and he could go with his parents, that would be nice.

He was about to tell the other skeleton about it when this feeling, or rather lack of feeling, crept into his mind. It was strange, but usually he felt like he knew when someone was doing well or not, like a hunch. It had always been the case, yet when faced with this stranger he felt nothing, and unconsciously it twisted his stomach slightly, chilled his bones, without him really knowing why.

Inwardly he tried to find a reason for this exception, as the trees around them became less and less numerous. Buildings began to appear in the distance. Aim, seeing this, wondered who they would find. If this was where his parents had declared their love, then surely, he would meet friends of theirs.

The excitement of seeing more of his parents' friends was short-lived when he saw that the buildings were in ruins. Some had their facades ripped open, others had their roofs and probably their interiors collapsed. Others had only broken windows, and the only ones that had no apparent damage made the atmosphere strangely even heavier. A ghost town, that was the vision before their eyes.

Aim's bad feeling resurfaced, even more powerful than before. How could his parents have decided to declare themselves in a ruined place? What could have happened here? He pulled the book tighter to his chest, becoming slightly alarmed by the scene before them. He stammered:

“Sir... Are you sure Uncle Mare will find us here? He was waiting for us in the playground, he might get worried if he doesn't find us, and it's not inhabited here at all, he might not find us.”

“Do you know who destroyed this place,” asked the protector, his back still turned to the boy.

“...No...”

“It was your uncle with Killer, to try to show Cross that he could never be happy, and also because of his betrayal and escape.”

“You're lying! Uncle Mare and Killer would never do that!”

“You seem to like them, maybe that's a good thing... But know kid that I never lie.”

As he said his last sentence, he turned around completely, his pastel pupils and his slight smile had given way to a face devoid of all emotion. He crouched down facing the child, before declaring:

“What follows is simple: I ask for your help, you accept and after you have helped me, I will take you back to your parents, no one knows.”

“Help with what?

“You just have to use your power over me, you know the one that can change emotions.”

“Dad and Papa said that's a power that can hurt people, and that you shouldn't use it.”

“And why not?”

“They said that by using this power, people can get hurt because they wouldn't know if they really liked us. They said that it is more important that they like us for who we really are, than by lying to them and changing something so precious.”

Ink thought for a moment before saying:

“I won't mind you using your power on me, on the contrary. I have no soul; I can't feel emotions like others. But if you used it, I could be normal.”

“Don't you have a soul? But my power only works when people already have feelings.”

“How can you be so sure when you haven't even tried,” he asked in a colder voice.

“My power is used to change the emotions of others, to rewrite them. If they don't exist, I can't change them.”

“So, you can't help me... I don't see why I should do what I told you then.”

The atmosphere was becoming frightening. Ink's voice and face was like that of a cruel psychopath in frightening nightmares, and the quiet of the place seemed to become oppressive. The boy took a step back, shaking more and more.

“You're scaring me.”

“Scared? I'm just asking you to help me. Your parents never taught you to be nice,” Ink said as he grabbed Aim's arm, dropping the book he was holding.

A Gaster Blaster appeared beside him before firing at the other skeleton. At the same time, the boy's soul turned blue, throwing him into his dad's arms. He boiled with rage and anguish, his eyes now only two blood-red pupils.

The latter was about to use his knife to teleport with his son when Ink created ink bones which he hurled at them. Cross smashed them with his weapon before setting Aim down beside the tree behind him. He would have preferred to get his son to safety before starting this fight, but Ink prevented him from actually doing so.

So, he turned his knife into two daggers and teleported behind the protector, trying to slice him by surprise. Ink dodged before hitting him with a brush, knocking him back a few feet.

Even though the monochrome had failed to hit him, he was slightly pleased that the fight was taking place away from where his child was. He sent bones at his opponent, who liquefied, before resurfacing next to him and trying to summon a Gaster Blaster. Cross gave him no time, sending his leg slamming into his stomach, smashing it against the tree behind him.

Ink coughed from the impact of the tree and also from the kick. Even though they were skeletons and didn't have stomachs or diaphragms, their magic reacted as if they did, and they really didn't appreciate that kind of blow. He lay down on the ground to dodge the Gaster Blaster shot that Cross had just fired, which destroyed and burned the plant and those behind it.

Then he grabbed his brush which he had dropped before creating a wall of ink to protect himself from a volley of bones. This separation disappeared after his opponent sliced it with his daggers, coming closer to him. To keep him away, he created several rows of bones before landing on a low tree branch near Cross.

Black tears began to fall from Cross's eyes, showing his growing negative feelings to the point of overflowing.

“I haven't seen your face like that for years,” Ink added. “The last time was the day I paid you and Dream a little surprise visit. I didn't expect to see you with a baby, but what surprised me most that day was that your child had this power. Honestly, we could have a lot of fun, and thanks to him, I could have feelings like the others again. You can do that for your friend.”

“You're not my friend, you're just a skeleton who has become obsessed with something he doesn't have and never will. Because of your madness, you put Aim in danger that day and you just did it again today.”

“... In danger... I didn't do anything wrong... I took him to a place that is important to you, I told him everything that happened here, and I kindly asked him to help me. There's nothing wrong with that. On reflection, maybe I should have been more radical... But I can always make it right.”

Three Gaster Blasters appeared in front of the boy, startling him and his father. Before the shots were fired, they heard the AU protector speak his words like a death sentence:

“If Error can create new things when he is repulsed by it and our agreement still stood at that time, then I may as well do the same. I'll never be forgotten again, even if it means going from good guy to bad guy protector.”

“AIM!!!”

Cross was too far away from Aim to get there in time, so he made a giant wall of bones to protect him. He didn't have time to reassure himself that he was okay or even make another move, as Ink had already launched a bone attack. He had let his guard down, desperate to save his son, and before he could even protect himself, bones had embedded themselves in his torso, several touching his soul.

His purple blood began to stain his white top, and to run from the corners of his mouth, before falling to the ground. Two shrill cries rang out at that moment: Aim's, who had moved away from the half-destroyed wall to reassure his father, and Dream's. He was teleported to his son in spite of himself, thanks to his husband. The latter had arrived in his place after sensing his soul mate's overly negative feelings. But he had arrived too late to protect him from the treacherous attack that Ink had launched against him.

Dream held him in his arms on his knees, his eyes flooded with tears, trying to use his healing magic on him. But the wounds on his soul were too numerous for him to do so. Aim rushed towards them, seeing with horror the gaping holes in his father's torso, his breath choked and his soul cracking from the damage it had taken.

He searched his pockets, trying to find the chocolate bars he had taken a few hours earlier. He had taken two, but he was unable to find them. His hands were shaking, and his tears were appearing more and more, blurring his vision. He searched desperately before realising that they were not where he had put them.

He had probably dropped them without noticing, then he remembered the playground, that moment when they had jumped into the gate. Surely that was when he had lost them. After all, he had been careful not to drop and damage the book, but he hadn't checked for the chocolate bars.

“Dad...”

Aim didn't know what to say or do. His father was starting to crumble, and he didn't know how to save him. To reassure him, Cross pulled him closer to him, before giving him a kiss on the forehead, as he used to doing.

Then he put his hand on his husband's cheek, trying to remove the tears that were running down with his thumb, even though new ones appeared right after. He tried with difficulty to take a steady breath before saying:

“I'm sorry, I let my guard down again. I couldn't protect you anymore... Don't cry... I've always preferred it when you smile... I wish I could keep seeing you smile and laugh...”

His husband tried to put on a smile, but it looked more like a forced grimace distorted by sadness. Cross stood up slightly before placing a final kiss on his soul mate's teeth.

“You are my two rays of sunshine...”

He had spoken his words with the last of his strength, before disappearing entirely into a pile of dust. His son looked down at his remains, his tears growing more and more uncontrollable. His eyesight was blurred and he couldn't see what was around him, except for the dust as his tears fell.

Dream, on the other hand, stared into space before screaming at the assassin. His scream was filled with rage and hatred, changing to a promise of death as his voice became different, dark, corrupt.

Bones cracked as tentacles ripped through the back of his jumper, moving uncontrollably like snakes preparing to bite their prey. Black liquid began to cover him, devouring his blind eye again, making it disappear.

Before he left to take his revenge, he saw the look in his son's eyes that was mixed with sadness, fear and horror. He didn't know if it was due to his appearance, which he considered hideous, or because he was afraid of simply losing his papa, but that look made him even more angry at the painter. Because of him, he had lost his husband, but he had also had to traumatize his child with his appearance.

Nightmare and Killer arrived shortly afterwards, to see Dream in his corrupted form lashing out at Ink's inert and almost completely destroyed body, while Aim cried at a pile of dust. The two skeletons had quickly guessed who he belonged to by the scene before them.

The negative one moved towards his brother to stop him, but Killer stopped him by holding his arm, feeling only angst at the scene before them.

“I need you to take Aim and get out of here, while I calm Dream down,” he announced, pulling his arm free of the other skeleton's grip.

“No, you'll get killed. I-”

“Because you think you can do it? Take Aim and leave! That's an order,” he shouted.

The tearful man looked at him in despair, wanting to say something more. He knew that Nightmare was right and that he was just wasting time, but he couldn't help the fear that was eating away at his stomach. It was Cross who had managed to bring Dream to his senses, not Nightmare, so how could he be sure he would? He shook off his worries, confidently thinking that surely, he was the only one now who could do it. Then he walked over to the boy, before picking him up and teleporting into the boy's room.

The negative began to rush towards his brother, getting between him and Ink, dodging the tentacles that struck in the protector's direction. He caught him in his arms, trying to block his movements.

“Calm down, you can't kill him, he's immortal like us. Think of Aim and calm down!”

The attacks stopped, and his tentacles collapsed as if they were empty of energy. He dropped to his knees, his brother following his fall, still holding him in his arms. He turned his eyes and saw his husband's dust. If he had arrived earlier, he could have saved him, he would still be here. This sentence kept coming back in his mind, hammering him with blows, driving the nail of remorse even deeper.

Tears began to flow down his cheeks, creating ever larger wakes. He returned his brother's embrace, holding his coat as if it were the last thing, the last hope he could hold on to. His sobs were almost the only sound to be heard in this charred and destroyed world.

His soul froze, twisted, and felt as if it would crack and shatter at any moment. How he wished at that moment that it had. He would no longer feel that pain in his chest, that vice in his throat. He would like to join him, but he couldn't, and never would. It was one of the few privileges that was taken away from him.

The crackling of the flames was muted by the pain of the desperate cries that the positive was now throwing into the void, tearing at the same time at his brother's heart.

It was one of the few moments when the negative felt so helpless in the face of his younger brother's pain. What could he say, what could he do to heal his broken heart, except wait and show his presence and support through a simple hug. Only time would soften his grieving soul and they both knew it, but at the time it was hard to take.

All this pain and sorrow was preventing him from returning to his normal form. He didn't want to scare his son; he didn't want him to see him like that again. So, between his uncontrollable sobs, he stammered:

“I don't want to show myself to Aim like this.”

“Take your time,” his brother added in a calm voice.

Meanwhile, the boy was crying in Killer's arms, unable to get the image of his dad turning to dust out of his mind. It wasn't possible, his father had always been strong, he couldn't die like that. He would probably come back and say it was a joke, his papa would scold him for it, and to make up for it he would hug him, as always. As always, he would walk quietly out the door. He was coming back! He would come back... right?

He knew in his soul that reality was not what he wanted to see. He knew what fate had befallen his father, he had seen it with his own eyes, but he could not accept it. Or rather he didn't want to accept it.

“Dad will come back, right? He's coming home,” the boy whined between sobs.

“It'll be okay,” Killer reassured him.

It was the only sentence he repeated softly, as if he only knew that one, which was becoming more and more meaningless with its relentless repetition. He rubbed his back to soothe him. He kept a mask of calm to reassure the little one and not to show his feelings, even if his molten heart gave him away.

Aim slowly calmed down. He wished so much that time would wind up like a simple stopped music box. It was then that he asked Killer if he could rest, to wake up from this cruel bad dream, which the taller man accepted. Before going to sleep, he left his room, followed by Killer who did not understand why he was leaving.

The little skeleton walked through the house towards his parents' room. He entered the room and saw that it was in the same state as it was in the beginning, tidy, the bed still made in the same way, the wardrobe still closed, the sunlight partly filtered by the curtains almost entirely open.

It was like an unchanged vestige of time, a vestige that reminded him of that happy time he spent with his parents. He kept hoping that it was a nightmare, so that he could wake up and hug his fathers again.

He walked over to Cross's bedside table, picking up the slightly cracked heart-shaped locket that lay on it. He had seen it once and simply asked what it was. He remembered the image as he opened it and turned a small mechanism inside, making the soft sound of a music box playing Always with me.

He remembered the wistful look on his father's face, before he calmly told him that this jewel was very important to him, and that he would rather leave it safe than risk it being damaged even more than it was by wearing it. He remembered that his father had not said who the people drawn with him were, nor the meaning of the word written above it, and he had preferred not to ask him.

He hadn't touched it again, not wanting to risk breaking something precious to one of his parents. But now he just wanted to have it so he wouldn't feel like he was breaking himself like a fragile object. Or maybe he just wanted something that belonged to him so that he would feel like it was still near him.

He took it in his hand, tangling the golden chain between his knuckles. Killer said nothing, understanding that the smaller boy was trying to hold on to something that would remind him of Cross. Nevertheless, when the boy returned to his room, he said softly:

“Kiddo, if you need me, I'll be right here in the living room. Dream and Nightmare should be back soon, I'll wait for them.”

“Will you stay with me? I'd like one more hug.”

The teary-eyed man agreed, sitting down on the bed with his back against the wall before taking him in his arms. Aim, for his part, had abandoned his Rubik's Cube, which he used whenever he felt bad. Instead, he opened the locket and activated the mechanism, which instantly pierced the silence with the soft crystalline notes of the lullaby.

He stayed there, listening quietly, thinking of nothing but the hope of waking up from this nightmare. He closed his eyes, letting himself be carried away by the sound of the lullaby and the sleep. A tear rolled down his cheek, before falling onto the taller man's shirt as the last note of the song was heard, leaving them to be engulfed again by the morbid silence.

It was also at this point that Killer silently broke down, shattering the mask that had been forged on his face earlier, unable to hold back his tears and grief at the death of his friend.

𓆩☬𓆪

Le son d'une boîte à musique commença à se faire entendre de manière distordu, noyé par les rives du réveil. Lorsque le petit s’étira, il essaya de se souvenir de cette mélodie. Où l'avait-il bien entendu ? Et qui était cette silhouette sombre qui s'était soudainement évaporé dans son rêve ?

Il sortit de son lit, se dirigeant tranquillement vers le salon où se trouvé Dream, qui avais déjà commencé à préparer le petit-déjeuner. Cross quant à lui, dormait toujours, profitant de ce samedi matin pour faire la grasse matinée.

Le petit aida son papa prenant les tasses puis le bol qu’il lui donnait, étant trop haut pour lui, avant de les poser sur la table. Il s’assit tranquillement à table, avant de commencer à verser du lait dans son bol, pendant que le positif allait réveiller son mari.

Ils revinrent tout deux dans la pièce, son père ayant les yeux encore embrumés de sommeil et tenant calmement son âme-sœur, ayant encore réussi à l’emprisonner avec ses bras. Dream sourit, attendri par ce geste qu’il recevait de son mari chaque week-end.

Il réussit à se libérer de son emprise en s’asseyant tranquillement. Cross, avant de s’assoir à son tour, fis un bisou sur le front de son fils, lui souhaitant bonjour. Ils déjeunèrent dans la bonne humeur, comme d'habitude.

Puis comme chaque week-end, le petit squelette se prépara pour voir son oncle. Il chercha dans la petite bibliothèque du salon son livre préféré. C’était le seul qui avais été fait à la main et son papa lui avait déjà avouer que c’était son oncle qui l’avait fabriqué.

Il aimait énormément sa couverture cartonnée recouverte d’une couche de cuir bleutée, où un immense pommier y était gravé. Ses pommes étaient pour certaines entièrement gravée tandis que d’autre n’avais que le contour défini. Sur les coins les plus éloignés l’un de l’autre, le cuir se teintait de jaune en haut et de violet en bas. Des coins en argent était accrocher sur chaque bord du livre et représentait une lune et un soleil. Il savait que ce livre s’appelait La force des sentiments, grâce à son oncle qui lui disais à chaque fois qu’il le lisait.

Il l’attrapa, et se dirigea ensuite dans la cuisine, prenant deux petites barres chocolatées comme à son habitude. Il vérifia qu’il n’oubliait rien avant d’ouvrir la porte en saluant ses parents. Cross lui dit :

—Tu fais attention en y allant.

—Promis, bonne journée.

Ils lui répondirent la même chose avant qu’il ne ferme la porte. Il partit comme à son habitude vers l’aire de jeu, où il attendait toujours son oncle. Il aimait beaucoup s’amuser ici, et parfois, Killer venait aussi jouer avec lui, mais il partait rapidement après que Nightmare soit arrivé.

Il s’approcha de la balançoire avant de s’assoir, posant le livre sur ses genoux. Il commença à se balancer tranquillement, faisant attention à ne pas faire tomber le livre en allant trop vite. Il s’arrêta brusquement lorsqu’il entendit une voix inconnue derrière lui demandant s’il attendait son oncle.

Il se retourna pour lui répondre lorsqu’il vit son visage : un squelette aux pupilles pastel accompagné d’un pinceau et ayant une tache d’encre sur la joue. Le squelette dont ses parents lui ont toujours dit de se méfier. Il resta muet, ne sachant pas trop quoi faire.

—…Tu es bien silencieux. Je pensais que tu serais plus bavard que ça. Tu dois sûrement tenir ça de Cross, il n'a jamais été vraiment bavard au début. Mais après qu’on soit devenu ami il l’était plus.

—Vous êtes un ami de Dad ?

—Oui, même si je suis plus l’ami de Dream. On se connait depuis longtemps, et on a vécu beaucoup d’aventures ensemble. Il m’a même déjà tiré d’affaire plusieurs fois.

—Vraiment, c’est trop cool !

—Mais après tes parents se sont rencontré, et je ne les ai plus vraiment revus... Mais ils ne t’en ont jamais parlé ?

Devant le silence de Aim, Ink ajouta :

—Ils ne t’ont jamais montré où se sont déclaré leur amour ? Si tu veux, je peux t’y amener. C’est un endroit chargé de tellement de souvenirs.

—Mais Oncle Mare-

—Nightmare connais déjà cet endroit, il nous rejoindra quand il arrivera et qu’il ne nous verra pas ici. Tu ne fais pas confiance aux amis de tes parents ?

Au plus profond de lui, son instinct lui criait non, lui rappelant leur mise en garde. Mais d’un autre coté il connaissait son oncle et ses pères et était un ami d’eux, alors il pouvait lui faire confiance... ? Et son oncle connaissait aussi ce lieu.

Il prit la main du plus grand avant que ce dernier peigne le sol avec son pinceau, sautant ensuite dans cette flaque en entrainant l’enfant avec lui. Ils se retrouvèrent dans un lieu boisé, l’odeur des pins se faisait ressentir. La neige les recouvrés doucement, rendant une sensation de frai à ce lieu.

Ink commença à marcher dans la forêt, suivit de Aim qui s’émerveillé devant les lieux. Ça lui faisait penser au bois ou ses parents et lui avaient l’habitude d’aller l’hiver. Ils s’amusaient à patiner sur le lac gelé qui se dissimuler dans ses lieux, à faire une bataille de boules de neiges où son papa les regarder, avant de commencer à s’amuser avec eux après avoir pris une boule de neige sur l’épaule à cause de son père, et ils finissaient leur journée chez eux tous autour d’un chocolat chaud. Peut-être qu’il verrait un lieu comme ça ici, et qu’il pourrait y aller avec ses parents, ce serait bien.

Il allait en parler à l’autre squelette quand cette sensation, ou plutôt cette absence de sensation s’immisça dans son esprit. C’était étrange, mais d’habitude il avait l’impression de savoir quand quelqu’un allait bien ou mal, un peu comme une intuition. Ça avait toujours été le cas, pourtant face à cet étranger il ne ressentait rien, et inconsciemment ça lui tordait légèrement l’estomac, lui glaçait les os, sans qu’il ne sache vraiment pourquoi.

Il essaya de trouver intérieurement une raison à cette exception, lorsque les arbres autour d’eux devenait de moins en moins nombreux. Des bâtiments commençaient à apparaître au loin. Aim en voyant ça, se demanda qui ils allaient trouver. Si c’était ici que ses parents avaient déclaré leur amour, alors il rencontrera sûrement des amis à eux.

Cette excitation de voir d’autres amis de ses parents fut de courte durée, lorsque qu’il vit que les bâtiments étaient en ruines. Certains avait leurs façades d’éventré, d’autre le toit et surement l’intérieur d’effondrer. D’autres encore n’avait que les fenêtres de brisés, et les seules qui n’avait aucun dégât apparent rendais bizarrement l’ambiance encore plus pesante. Une ville fantôme, voilà la vision qui était devant leur yeux.

Le mauvais pressentiment de Aim refit surface, encore plus puissant qu’avant. Comment ses parents auraient pu décider de se déclarer dans un endroit en ruines ? Qu'avait-il bien pus se passer ici ? Il resserra le livre sur son torse, devenant légèrement inquiet par les lieux devant eux. Il bredouilla :

—Monsieur... Vous êtes sûr qu’Oncle Mare va nous trouver ici ? Il nous attendait dans l’air de jeu, il risque de s’inquiétait s’il ne nous trouve pas, et ça n’est pas du tout habité ici, il risque de ne pas nous trouvé.

—Sais-tu qui a détruit ce lieu, demanda le protecteur toujours le dos tourné vers le petit.

—…Non…

—C'est ton oncle avec Killer, pour essayer de montrer à Cross qu’il ne pourrait jamais être heureux, et aussi à cause de sa trahison et de sa fuite.

—Vous mentez ! Oncle Mare et Killer ne feraient jamais ça !

—Tu sembles les aimé, c'est peut-être une bonne chose… Mais sache petit que je ne mens jamais.

En prononçant sa dernière phrase, il se retourna entièrement, ses pupilles pastel et son léger sourire de façade avaient laisser place à un visage vide de toutes émotions. Il s’accroupi face à l’enfant, avant de déclarer :

—Ce qui va suivre est simple : Je te demande de l'aide, tu acceptes et après que tu m'es aidé, je te ramène à tes parents ni vu, ni connu.

—De l'aide pour quoi ?

—Tu as juste à utiliser ton pouvoir sur moi, tu sais celui qui peut modifier les émotions.

—Papa et Dad ont dit que c'est un pouvoir qui peut blesser les gens, et qu'il fallait surtout pas l’utiliser.

—Et pourquoi donc ?

—Ils ont dit qu’en utilisant ce pouvoir, les personnes peuvent se sentir blesser parce qu’ils ne pourraient pas savoir s’ils nous apprécient vraiment. Ils ont dit qu'il faut plutôt qu'ils nous aiment pour ce qu'on est vraiment, qu’en leur mentant et en leur changeant quelques chose d'aussi précieux.

Ink réfléchis quelques instants avant de dire :

—Je ne prendrai pas mal que tu utilises ton pouvoir sur moi, au contraire. Je n'ai pas d’âme, je ne peux pas ressentir des émotions comme les autres. Mais si tu l’utilisais, je pourrais être normal.

—Vous n'avez pas d’âme ? Mais mon pouvoir ne fonctionne que lorsque des personnes ont déjà des sentiments.

—Comment tu peux en être si sûr alors que tu n'as même pas essayé, demanda-t-il d'une voix plus froide.

—Mon pouvoir sert à modifier les émotions des autres, à les réécrire. S’ils n'existent pas, je ne peux pas les changer.

—Alors, tu ne peux pas m’aider... Je ne vois pas pourquoi je ferais ce que je t'ai dit alors.

L'ambiance devenait angoissante. La voix et le visage de Ink était semblable à celle d'un cruel psychopathe dans des cauchemars effrayants, et le calme des lieux semblait devenir oppressant. Le petit recula d'un pas, tremblant de plus en plus.

—Vous me faites peur.

—Peur ? Je te demande juste de m'aider. Tes parents ne t’ont jamais appris à être gentil, déclara Ink en attrapant le bras de Aim, faisant tomber le livre qu'il tenait.

Un Gaster Blaster apparu à côté de ce dernier avant de tirer sur l'autre squelette. Au même moment, l’âme du petit vira au bleu, le projetant dans les bras de son père. Celui-ci bouillonnait de rage et d'angoisse, ses yeux n’étant plus que deux pupilles rouge sang.

Ce dernier allait utiliser son couteau pour se téléporter avec son fils lorsque Ink créa des os d’encre qu’il projeta sur eux. Cross les brisa avec son arme avant de poser Aim à côté de l’arbre derrière lui. Il aurait préféré mettre son fils à l’abri avant d’entamer ce combat, mais Ink l’empêcher de véritablement le faire.

Alors il transforma son couteau en deux dagues et se téléporta derrière le protecteur, essayant de le trancher par surprise. Ink esquiva avant de lui asséner un coup de pinceau, le faisant reculer de quelques mètres.

Même si le monochrome n’avais pas réussi à le toucher, il était légèrement satisfait que le combat se déroulais loin de là où était son enfant. Il envoya des os sur son adversaire, qui se liquéfia, avant de resurgir à côté de lui et d’essayer d’invoquer un Gaster Blaster. Cross ne lui laissa pas le temps, envoyant sa jambe frapper son ventre, le fracassant contre l’arbre derrière lui.

Ink toussa dû au choc contre l’arbre mais aussi dû au coup de pied. Même si c’était des squelettes et qu’ils n’avaient pas d’estomac ni de diaphragmes, leur magie réagissait comme s’ils en avais, et elles n’apprécié vraiment pas ce genre de coup. Il se coucha au sol pour esquiver le tir de Gaster Blaster que venait de tirer Cross, qui détruisit et brûla le végétal et ceux qui se trouver derrière.

Puis il attrapa son pinceau qu’il avait fait tomber avant de créer un mur d’encre pour se protéger d’une salve d’os. Cette séparation disparue après que son adversaire la trancha avec ses dagues, se rapprochant de lui. Pour l’éloigner de lui, il créa plusieurs rangés d’os avant de se poser sur une branche basse d’un arbre, proche de Cross.

Des larmes noires commençaient à couler des yeux de ce dernier, montrant ses sentiments négatifs de plus en plus important, au point de déborder.

—Ça fais des années que je n’avais pas vu ton visage comme ça, ajouta Ink. La dernière fois, ça a été le jour où je vous ai rendus une petite visite surprise à toi et Dream. Je ne m’attendais pas à vous voir avec un bébé, mais ce qui m’a le plus surpris ce jour-là, ça a été que ton enfant est ce pouvoir. Franchement, on pourrait bien s’amuser, et grâce à lui, je pourrais de nouveau ressentir des sentiments comme les autres. Tu peux bien faire ça pour ton ami.

—Tu n’es pas mon ami, tu es juste un squelette qui est devenu obsédé par une chose qu’il n’a pas et n’aura jamais. À cause de ta folie, tu as mis ce jour-là Aim en danger et tu viens encore de le faire aujourd’hui.

—… En danger... Je n’ai pourtant rien fait de mal... Je l’ai amené dans un lieu important pour vous, je lui ai dit tous ce qui c’était passé ici, et je lui ai gentiment demander de m’aider. Il n’y a rien de mal. En y réfléchissant, peut-être que j’aurai dû être plus radical... Mais je peux toujours rectifier le coup.

Trois Gaster Blasters apparurent devant le petit, le surprenant ainsi que son père. Avant que les coups soient tirés, ils entendirent le protecteur des AU prononcé ses mots comme une sentence de mort :

—Si Error peut créer de nouvelles choses alors qu’il est répugné par ça et que notre accord tenait toujours à ce moment-là, alors je peux tout aussi bien faire pareil. Je ne serais plus jamais oublié, même si ça signifie passer du gentil au méchant protecteur.

—AIM !!!

Cross était trop loin de Aim pour arriver à temps, alors il fit un gigantesque mur d’os pour le protéger. Il n’eut pas le temps de se rassurer qu’il aller bien ou même de faire un autre mouvement, que Ink avait déjà lancé une attaque d’os. Il avait baissé sa garde voulant à tout prix sauver son fils, et avant même qu’il puisse se protéger, des os s’étaient planté dans son torse, plusieurs touchant son âme.

Son sang violet commença à teintait son haut blanc, et à couler des commissures de sa bouche, avant de tomber au sol. Deux cris stridents retentir à ce moment-là : celui de Aim qui s’était décalé du mur à moitié détruit pour rassurer son père, et Dream. Il fut téléporté vers son fils malgré lui, grâce à son mari. Ce dernier était arrivé dans ses lieux après avoir sentis les sentiments trop négatifs de son âme-sœur. Mais il était arrivé trop tard pour le protéger de l’attaque traître que lui avais lancé Ink.

Dream le tenait dans les bras à genoux, ses yeux inondés de larmes, essayant d’utiliser sa magie de soins sur lui. Mais les blessures sur son âme étaient trop importantes pour qu’il y arrive. Aim se précipita vers eux, voyant avec horreur les trous béants qui parsemés le torse de son père, son souffle haché et son âme qui craqueler à cause des dégâts trop importante qu’elle s’était prise.

Il chercha dans ses poches, essayant de retrouver les barres chocolatées qu'il avait pris quelques heures plus tôt. Il en avait pris deux, mais il était incapable de les retrouver. Ses mains tremblaient, et ses larmes apparaissaient de plus en plus, brouillant sa vision. Il chercha désespérément avant de réaliser qu’elles n’étaient pas là où il les avait mises.

Il les avait sûrement fais tomber sans s’en apercevoir, puis il se rappela de l’aire de jeu, ce moment où ils avaient sauté dans le portail. C’était sûrement à ce moment-là qu’il les avait perdus. Après tout, il avait fait attention à ne pas faire tomber et abimé le livre, mais il n’avait pas vérifié pour les barres chocolatées.

—Dad...

Aim ne savait pas quoi dire ou quoi faire. Son père commençait à partir en poussière, et il ne savait pas comment le sauver. Pour le rassurer, ce dernier le rapprocha de lui, avant de lui faire un bisou sur le front comme il avait l’habitude de le faire.

Puis il posa sa main sur la joue de son mari, essayant d’enlever les larmes qui coulaient avec son pouce, même si de nouvelles apparaissait juste après. Il tentait difficilement de prendre une respiration régulière avant de lui dire :

—Je suis désolé, j’ai encore baissé ma garde. Je ne pourrais plus vous protéger... Ne pleurez pas... J’ai toujours préféré quand vous souriez... J’aimerais tellement pouvoir continuer de vous voir sourire et rire...

Son mari essaya d’afficher un sourire, mais ce dernier ressemblait plus à une grimace forcée et déformé par la tristesse. Cross se releva légèrement avant de déposer un dernier baisé sur les dents de son âme-sœur.

—Vous êtes mes deux rayons de soleil...

Il avait prononcé ses mots avec les dernières forces qu’il lui resté, avant de disparaître entièrement dans un amas de poussières. Son fils regarda ses restes, ses larmes devenaient de plus en plus incontrôlables. Sa vue se troublait et il ne voyait pas ce qui l’entourer, à part les poussières lorsque ses larmes tombaient.

Dream quant à lui regarder dans le vague avant de hurler en regardant l’assassin. Son cri était rempli de rage et de haine, se modifiant en une promesse de mort en même temps que sa voix devenait différente, sombre, corrompu.

Des craquements d’os se firent entendre lorsque des tentacules déchirèrent le dos de son pull, bougeant de manière incontrôlable, comme des serpents se préparant à mordre leur proie. Du liquide noir commença à le recouvrir, dévorant à nouveau son œil aveugle, le faisant disparaitre.

Avant qu’il ne parte pour assouvir sa vengeance, il croisa le regard de son fils qui était mélanger de tristesse, de peur et d’horreur. Il ne savait pas si c’était dû à son apparence qu’il jugeait hideuse, ou parce qu’il avait peur de tout simplement perdre son papa, mais ce regard l’énerva encore plus contre le peintre. À cause de lui, il avait perdu son mari, mais il avait aussi dû traumatiser son enfant par son aspect.

Nightmare et Killer arrivèrent peu de temps après, pour voir Dream dans sa forme corrompu s’acharné sur le corps inerte et presque entièrement détruit de Ink, tandis qu’Aim pleuré devant un tas de poussière. Les deux squelettes avaient rapidement deviné à qui il appartenait vu la scène qui s’offraient à leurs yeux.

Le négatif se dirigea vers son frère pour l’arrêter, mais Killer l'en empêcha en lui tenant le bras, ressentant que de l’angoisse face à la scène qui se déroulait devant eux.

—Il faut que tu prennes Aim et tu partes d’ici, pendant que je calme Dream, annonça-il en dégageant son bras de l’emprise de l’autre squelette.

—Non, tu risques de te faire tuer. Je-

—Parce que tu penses que tu peux le faire ? Prends Aim et pars ! C’est un ordre, hurla-t-il.

Le larmoyant le regarda désespérer, voulant rajouter quelque chose. Il savait que Nightmare avait raison et qu'il perdait juste du temps, mais il ne pouvait s’empêcher d’avoir une peur qui lui dévorer le ventre. C’était Cross qui avait réussi à ramener Dream à la raison, pas Nightmare, alors comment être sûr qu’il y arrivera ? Il se débarrassa de ses inquiétudes, en pensant avec confiance que c’était sûrement le seul maintenant à pouvoir le faire. Il se dirigea ensuite vers le petit, avant de le prendre dans les bras, puis se téléporta dans la chambre de ce dernier.

Le négatif commença à se précipiter vers son frère, se mettant entre lui et Ink, esquivant les tentacules qui frapper dans la direction du protecteur. Il l’attrapa dans les bras, essayant de le bloquer dans ses mouvements.

—Calme-toi, tu ne peux pas le tuer, il est immortel comme nous. Pense à Aim et calme-toi !

Les attaques s’arrêtèrent, et ses tentacules s’affaissèrent comme s’ils devenaient vide d’énergie. Il se laissa tomber sur ses genoux, son frère suivit sa chute, le tenant toujours dans ses bras. Il tourna les yeux et vit les poussières de son mari. S’il était arrivé plus tôt, il aurait pu le sauver, il serait encore là. Cette phrase revenait en boucle dans son esprit, le martelant de coup, enfonçant le clou des remords encore plus profondément.

Des larmes commencèrent à couler le long de ses joues, créant des sillages de plus en plus imposants. Il rendit l’étreinte à son frère, tenant son manteau comme s'il était la dernière chose, le dernier espoir sur lequel il pouvait se raccrocher. Ses sanglots était presque le seul bruit qui se faisait entendre dans ce monde calciné et détruit.

Son âme se glaçais, se tordais, lui donnais l’impression qu’elle allait se fissurer et se briser à tout moment. Comme il aurait aimé à cet instant que ce soit le cas. Il ne ressentirait plus cette douleur dans sa poitrine, cet étau dans sa gorge. Il aimerait le rejoindre, mais il ne pouvait pas, et ne pourrais jamais le faire. C’était un des rares privilèges qui lui était ôté.

Le crépitement des flammes se faisait discret face à la douleur des cris désespéré que lancer maintenant le positif dans le vide, déchirant au même instant le cœur de son frère.

Ce fut l’un des rares instants où le négatif se sentait aussi impuissant face à la douleur de son cadet. Que pouvait-il bien dire, que pouvait-il bien faire pour soigner son cœur brisé, à part attendre en montrant sa présence et son soutien à travers un simple câlin. Seul le temps adoucirait son âme en peine et ils le savaient tous deux, mais sur le moment c’était dur à encaisser.

Toutes cette peine et cette douleur l’empêchais de retrouver sa forme normale. Il ne voulait pas effrayer son fils, il ne voulait pas qu’il le voit comme ça de nouveau. Alors, entre ses sanglots incontrôlables, il bredouilla :

—Je ne veux pas me montrer à Aim comme ça.

—Prends tous ton temps, ajouta son frère d’une voix calme.

Pendant ce temps, le petit pleurait dans les bras de Killer, n’arrivant pas à enlever de son esprit l’image de son père qui se transformait en poussière. Ce n’était pas possible, son père avait toujours été fort, il ne pouvait pas mourir comme ça. Il allait surement revenir en disant que c’était une blague, son papa allait le gronder pour ça, et pour se faire pardonner, il lui ferait un câlin, comme toujours. Comme toujours, il allait passer le bas de la porte tranquillement. Il allait revenir ! Il allait revenir... non... ?

Il savait au fond de son âme que la réalité n’était pas ce qu’il voulait voir. Il savait quel destin avait eu son père, il l’avait vu de ses propres yeux, mais il ne pouvait pas l’accepter. Ou plutôt il ne voulait pas l’accepter.

—Dad va revenir, pas vrai ? Il va revenir à la maison, pleurnicha le petit entre deux sanglots.

—Ça va aller, le rassura Killer.

C'était la seule phrase qu’il répétait doucement, comme s’il ne connaissait que celle-là, qui se vidait de plus en plus de sens à force d’être inlassablement répétée. Il lui frotta le dos pour l’apaiser. Il garda un masque fais de calme pour rassurer le plus petit et ne pas montrer ses sentiments, même si son âme en cœur fondu le trahissait.

Aim se calma lentement. Il aurait tellement voulu que le temps se remonte comme une simple boite à musique arrêté. C’est à ce moment-là qu’il demanda à Killer s'il pouvait se reposer, pour se réveiller de ce cruel mauvais rêve, ce que le plus grand accepta. Avant de dormir, il partit de sa chambre, suivit de Killer qui ne comprenait pas pourquoi il partait.

Le petit squelette traversa la maison se dirigeant vers la chambre de ses parents. Il y rentra voyant la pièce dans le même état qu’elle était de base, rangée, le lit fait toujours de la même manière, l’armoire toujours fermée, les rayons du soleil qui était en parti tamisé par les rideaux presque entièrement ouvert.

Elle était comme un vestige inchangé du temps, un vestige qui lui rappelait ce temps heureux qu’il passait avec ses parents. Il espérait continuellement que ce soit un cauchemar, pour qu’il puisse se réveillait et serrait à nouveau ses pères dans ses bras.

Il se rapprocha de la table de chevet de Cross, prenant le médaillon en forme de cœur légèrement fêlé qui était posé dessus. Il l’avait vu un jour et avais simplement demandé ce que c’était. Il se souvenais de l’image quand il l’avait ouvert et actionné un petit mécanisme à l’intérieur, faisant retentir le son doux d’une boite à musique jouant Always with me.

Il se souvenais du regard mélancolique de son père, avant qu’il lui dise calmement que ce bijou était très important pour lui, et qu’il préférait le laisser en sécurité, que de risquer qu’il soit encore plus abimé qu’il ne l’était en le portant. Il se souvenais que son père n’avait pas dit qui été ses personnes dessinées avec lui, ni la signification du mot inscrit juste au-dessus, et il avait préféré ne pas le lui demander.

Il ne l’avait plus touché, ne voulant pas risquer de briser quelque chose de précieux aux yeux de l’un de ses parents. Mais maintenant, il voulait juste l’avoir pour ne pas avoir l’impression de se briser lui-même comme un objet fragile. Ou peut-être qu’il désiré simplement un objet qui lui appartenait pour avoir l’impression qu’il était toujours près de lui.

Il le prit dans la main, emmêlant la chaine dorée entre ses phalanges. Killer ne dis rien, comprenant que le plus petit essayer de se raccrocher à quelque chose qui lui rappeler la présence de Cross. Néanmoins, lorsque le petit retourna dans sa chambre, il lui dit doucement :

—Gamin, si tu as besoin je serais là dans le salon. Dream et Nightmare ne devrait pas tarder à rentrer, je vais les attendre.

—Est-ce que tu veux bien rester avec moi ? J’aimerais bien encore avoir un câlin.

Le larmoyant accepta, s’assit sur le lit, le dos appuyé contre le mur avant de le prendre dans les bras. Aim, quant à lui, avait délaisser son Rubik’s Cube qu’il utilisait pourtant à chaque fois qu’il se sentait mal. Au lieu de ça, il ouvrit le médaillon et activa le mécanisme, qui perça instantanément le silence avec les douces notes cristallines de la berceuse.

Il resta ainsi, l’écoutant calmement, ne pensant à rien d’autre qu’à l’espoir de se réveiller de ce cauchemar. Il ferma les yeux, se laissant emporter par le son de la berceuse et le sommeil. Une larme roula sur sa joue, avant de tomber sur le T-shirt du plus grand au même instant que la dernière note de la chanson se fit entendre, les laissant se faire engloutir de nouveau par le silence morbide.

Ce fus également à ce moment que Killer craqua silencieusement, brisant le masque qui s’était forgé sur le visage un peu plus tôt, n’arrivant plus à retenir ses larmes et sa peine face à la mort de son ami.

#undertale #nightmare #au #ua #cross #dream #aim #writing #écriture #post dark cream #killer #ink

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andsheloved · 3 years ago

Text

p.s. i love you

pairing ~ steve rogers x f!reader

word count ~ 4.8k

summary ~ when a reminder of his previous life sends you into a spiral of self-doubt, steve only begins to look towards the future.

warnings ~ fluff! slight angst with a happy ending! pre-established relationship, reader enjoying vintage music, flashbacks to first meetings, mention of alcohol but like it could be apple juice? i don’t really refer to it as anything specific, so water if you’d like! bit of an awkward reader, but like awkward during a first meeting?? with steve rogers?? so i think very understandable. also, an awkward steve rogers, reader being an overthinker, no explicit mention of ptsd but allusions to it on steve’s part, platonic bucky, mention and small discussion of peggy.

a/n ~ this is based on this wonderful ask! so thank you anon for that! if you are out there somewhere reading this, i hope you enjoy! anyways, as i also said in the response to said ask, i am simply a sucker for some older music (shoutout to @nocapesdahling for our lil discussion on this! and unintentionally inspiring this one! i hope you enjoy this as well!) as well as steve rogers, and as soon as i wrote that baby drabble, i just had to do something bigger based off of it! also, i know steve 100% played ‘it’s been a long, long time’ in ca:tws in his apartment, but let’s just pretend he doesn’t play ‘his music’ really all that much or in front of you at all for a moment! mwauh! i hope you all enjoy!

You knew pretty much everything there was to know about Steve Rogers, and Steve Rogers pretty much knew everything there was to know about you, well, except for maybe one thing.

You only listened to it when he was away on missions, ‘his music’, when you knew he would be gone for a few days, when you knew you’d worry for him, those unhurried, soft melodies from his time always made it feel like a part of him was still there in your apartment with you.

And when you wrapped your arms around yourself, doing your very best to imagine that it was him holding you, you couldn’t help but hum happily, recalling the first time he had ever held you.

‘The trembling trees embraced the breeze tenderly, then you and I came wandering by, and lost in a sigh were we’

“So you’re the one he’s always talking about?” He smiled from behind his drink, and you took in the man before you, everything Sam had mentioned about him was very, very, correct, if not more so. His crisp, blue button-down fit him almost comically perfectly, complimenting those beautiful blue eyes that you were sure had seen hundreds, if not thousands of tragedies, yet still held a surprising warmth within them.

“I hope all good things?” You replied, throwing a mocking glare to your friend

“There’s not really a lot of bad I can say...” Sam chuckled, “Well, except for that one time-”

You cut him off quickly, handing him a glass, almost forcing the liquid down his throat yourself. You had just met the man, you didn’t need Sam recounting every embarrassing training story of yours right now, maybe in some far-off future, you thought, maybe you’d tell him all of your stories yourself, and maybe he’d tell you all of his. You’ve known him for at maximum, 10 seconds, were you really thinking of a future with him already? And then he smiled at you, this time, not from behind his glass, allowing you an unobstructed view, And yes. You definitely were.

“Well I guess until I hear about that one time, yes, all good things.” He said the words so softly, leaning into you like he was indulging you in a secret of his own.

“So…” You shuffled awkwardly in place, and you could almost hear the quiet wince that escaped Sam’s mouth. You were typically never any good at the whole ‘meeting new people’ thing, but you had never heard Sam audibly cringe at you during an encounter, he had to cut you some slack though, it was Steve Rogers, Captain America, and he just expected you to jump into casual conversation with him like it was nothing?

But lucky for you, it seemed that the Star-Spangled Man with a Plan was feeling, a little less, with a plan, tonight as well.

“Would you want to dance?” There was a short pause before he corrected himself, “With me? I mean if you didn’t that’s fine too, but with me would be-” he sighed, collecting himself “Nice.”

You could have sworn you could hear Sam roll his eyes at you two, but you barely had enough room in your brain to think about that, not when now, it seemed that your every thought was occupied by his smile. “Yeah, that would be… Nice” you smiled back at him, placing your hand in his as he led you to the dance floor.

It wasn’t long before the two of you fell into a comforting rhythm, slowly swaying to the music as you talked and laughed. If you weren’t so distracted with how well your conversation was going, maybe you would’ve seen how all of your friends and teammates were staring at the two of you.

“They look good.” Bucky muttered under his breath, reluctantly passing Sam a ten-dollar bill.

“Knew they would” Sam cocked an eyebrow in response.

“Should we just leave and see how much longer they stay here for?” Natasha added

“No way, I’m staying.” Sam declared, “I’ve got ten more dollars that says they kiss by the end of the night.”

‘I can't forget how two hearts met breathlessly, your arms opened wide and closed me inside, you took my lips, you took my love so tenderly’

You hadn’t heard him come in, you supposed it was due to your memory-induced haze, but when you heard his duffel bag hit the floor with a loud ‘thump’ you all but sprinted to your phone on the counter, pausing the music as soon as you could.

Steve stood dumbstruck, his feet seemed to be glued to the spot just in front of your doorway. You couldn’t even read his reaction, was he happy? Upset? Shocked? You wanted to run into his arms and just hold on forever, but now, you were terrified to even move from your current position.

You knew it was hard for Steve sometimes, even though it had been a while since he was first pulled from the ice, some days were harder than others. Some days you would wake up and turn to see him sitting tensely on the edge of the bed, staring at an old, faded picture of him and Bucky, taken right before he was deployed. You wondered if he ever wished he could go back to that time, before… everything, a part of you felt the green shadow of jealousy wash over you at the thought.

But you would never do anything to intentionally upset him, to call out to the nightmares of endless fighting and war and lost friends that you knew lived deep down inside of him, and bring them to the surface, but as the two of you stood, looking at each other wide-eyed and confused, you believed you had done just that.

“You’re home!” You tried to hide the nervousness in your voice, the slight tremor as you walked slowly over to him. He smiled softly at you, and a huff of breath left you at the sight, okay so he’s not upset.

His arms opened slowly, you could sense how tired he was as you molded yourself to his chest, feeling just how tense his muscles were.

He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, just as he normally would.

Maybe he hadn’t heard the music at all. Everything’s fine, everything’s normal.

But then he let you go,

Everything was not normal.

“Hey, sweetheart…”

The way he trailed off made a pit form in the bottom of your stomach, even though the rational part of your brain told you that you had nothing to worry about and he was probably just tired, that not-so-rational part of you told you otherwise.

“How was everything?” You replied timidly, you hated this, you knew he was coming home today, and yet you still decided to dance around your empty apartment and listen to those silly love songs. You had never played any of those songs in front of him, not because you didn’t want to share every part of yourself with him, you just didn’t want to dig up all of those memories he had again, not when he was just doing so well.

“Tired…” He uttered, “Think ‘m gonna go take a nap before dinner.”

He pressed another gentle kiss to your forehead before walking past you into your shared bedroom.

You stood in the same place, you weren't even sure how to feel, confused? Worried? Scared? No, you’re just overthinking things, he’s just tired, that’s all.

That night, though you found him sleeping in the same bed beside you, it still felt just as cold as it did when he wasn’t there.

You laid on your side, facing the wall, barely able to sleep as your own antagonizing thoughts replayed in your mind, had you really just ruined everything over a stupid song?

You groaned in annoyance, begrudgingly throwing the covers off of your form. You wondered how your bed could feel so unbearably hot whilst still seeming bone-chillingly cold all at once as you tried to convince yourself that the temperature was the only reason you found yourself venturing into the living room in the middle of the night.

It wasn’t just a song though, was it?

It was the memories that came with it.

Over the course of your relationship with Steve, he had slowly explained to you everything you didn’t already know about him, the train, the war, Peggy. Just like how you occasionally found yourself in bouts of nostalgia for bits and pieces of your childhood whenever the radio played some long forgotten bubble-pop tune from your younger years, you assumed the same of him, albeit for a different time.

You could never ask him to simply forget that part of his life, you never would, but sometimes you stumbled upon longing for those times as well, wondering what it would have been like to be with him back then, so you started listening to the music of his time.

You didn’t mean to develop your love of the music as much as you had, slowly amassing hours long playlists of your favorites, but as you added song after song, it felt less about the lyrics or melodies, but about him. You don’t know how, but the music just felt like him. You could almost feel his lips ghosting the shell of your ear as he sang along, strong arms swaying you back and forth as you rested your head on his chest. They became a comfort when you were separated from him, the ballads bringing back a sliver of his warmth to your apartment when he was away on missions.

But now, the music you had found such solace in, felt like your adversary, but again, you could’ve just been overthinking things.

You threw your arms above your head, a quiet yawn emanating from you as you sat up on the couch. You quickly glanced at your surroundings, haven forgotten about your midnight location change.

“G’morning” a slightly scratchy voice called out to you

You turned to look at him, gracefully sliding scrambled eggs onto two plates, you smiled softly, you didn’t think you would ever get used to seeing America’s Golden Boy being so domestic, and in your shared kitchen no less.

“Morning” you replied groggily, you scanned his features as you journeyed to the table, looking for any sign of discomfort, but you found nothing, everything felt almost concerningly normal, almost forced, and you hated it. As much as you scowled at yourself for thinking it, you almost wanted him to come out and just speak to you in that disappointed-father tone of his, to say how he was upset with you, but instead, you two sat in silence as you ate, anxiously awaiting the dropping of the other shoe, though it never came.

As you two danced around each other in your bathroom preparing for the day, bumping into each other periodically as you changed, it still never came. And nothing else did either. There was a heavy silence in every room that you walked in, regardless of if Steve was in the room or not, the two of you barely uttering a word to each other as you went about your daily business.

Each time that you glanced over at him, he seemed so lost in thought, and it pained you to even let your own mind wander into what he may be pondering. Had he finally gotten sick of you? With all your unpredictability and caring-too-much and those sleepless nights when you just rambled for hours that he swore that he loved so much, was this finally it?

One song that reminded him a bit too much of all the time he missed, and here came goodbye.

You found your leg bouncing on its own accord as you fought back the tears, anxiously fidgeting with a stray thread on the couch. It had only been a few hours and you already knew that an entire day of this waiting game would only lead you to your own slow, torturous death. so you quickly changed your plans of doing chores all day, opting to spend some time with the world's leading authority on frozen-in-time-super-soldiers.

“Did anything… Happen?” You asked, attempting to hide the slight tremor in your voice by taking another sip of your drink.

“Where should I even start,” Bucky replied, taking a deep sigh, grumbling in annoyance to himself.

Maybe something did happen on the mission and he really was just tired, maybe you really were overthinking this. “Well did he talk about anything… In particular, maybe about when you guys were younger?”

You knew that if anything serious had happened to Steve, or if he had said or done anything peculiar, Bucky would be the first to tell you, but as you sit across from him, nervously sipping your coffee, you couldn’t help but feel a tad guilty at your inquiry.

Bucky shook his head, the shadow of a smile pulling the corners of his lips, “Do you really wanna know?” He cocked his eyebrow at you

You felt the butterflies begin to bloom in a pit at the bottom of your stomach, but could you even call them butterflies? More like moths, smothering any light of happiness that you may have had when you first sat down as he said those words. “Y-yeah” You managed to choke out, taking a steadying breath to prepare yourself for whatever was coming next.

“He wouldn’t stop talking about you.” He added nonchalantly

Your eyebrows furrowed, not in anger or concern, more from shock if anything.

“He kind of never stops talking about you if I’m gonna be honest. Haven’t seen him this happy in a while.”

You assumed he had continued talking as you gazed out the window. “Does he ever talk about-” You sighed, you really hated to bring this up, but you needed to know. “Her?”

You knew that he loved her once, and you winced slightly at the thought. You knew he had an entire life before you, you were just afraid that you may have brought up those feelings again, if only you hadn’t put on the stupid playlist, you wouldn’t have to be so worried about this.

His lips pressed in a thin line, he placed a comforting hand over yours, until then, you hadn’t even noticed how your fingers rapidly drummed on the table.

“Hey,” He almost whispered, you looked up at him through dampening lashes, when had you started crying? “He loves you, I promise, and I would’ve thrown him out the window if he had said even a word about any other girl. You make him so happy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile this much. You’ve changed his life.” A sympathetic smile turned the corners of his lips as he continued.

You sniffled, whipping away the rogue tears beginning to spill over onto your cheeks. You tried to appreciate him telling you that, but your breath hitched in your throat as you awkwardly awaited him to add the ‘But…’ to his monologue. You shifted through every memory from the past few weeks, searching for anything that could have acted as the final straw for Steve, but could find nothing. Another wave of tears threatened to commence as the ‘what if’s’ entered your mind.

Though nothing else slipped past his lips.

So you muttered a quick “Thank you”, before gathering your courage to journey back to your apartment.

It was such a large part of him, he wasn’t from this time, but he had made such an effort in trying. Every time you made some offhand reference to ‘Saved by The Bell’ or maybe even sang some cheesy 80's pop song, you noticed how quickly he would pull out his book, jotting down the words and quickly tucking it away again. You wondered if he had made notes on the margins about the movies or songs you recommended to him, but with the way he always had it safely nestled in his back pocket, for now you could only imagine the musings and notes he had possibly written about ‘Titanic’

Or maybe you wouldn’t have to imagine them.

Was it really stealing if someone had just left it on the kitchen counter?

You turned, checking for any signs of life in all directions, before doing your best to covertly abduct the small notebook. You hadn’t been living in the tower very long, so you thought it would be best if you went through your new coworker’s things in the privacy of your own quarters.

You tried not to squeal in delight, making yourself comfortable amongst your pillows as if you were getting ready to indulge in a classic novel. This wasn’t anything to be excited about, this was not very avengers-are-good-people-and-don’t-steal-things of you, but it was basically just asking to be picked up, and better yours than the wrong hands, (or Tony’s, the two were interchangeable).

The first few pages were expectantly boring, lists of television shows and albums and historical events lined every page, with the addition of a few smiley faces, you assumed indicating things he particularly enjoyed. As you turned deeper into the book though, you began to notice the stars, small, hand drawn scribbles that accompanied a few of the items.

“Those are my favorites”

Shit.

You scrambled in your bed, hastily picking up another book from your side table as you attempted to play off the fact that you had indeed just stolen a super soldier’s private property.

Feigning a weak smile as you silently cursed yourself for not thinking to close the door behind you before snooping, you began to stutter out a reply “Steve, I-”

“No it’s okay,” He chuckled softly, slowly ambling into your room. You could have sworn that the temperature had risen at least ten degrees since he had set foot in your doorway, you were practically melting under the warmth of his kind gaze. “May I?” He gestured toward your bed, and you quickly nodded, an unfamiliar warmth spreading in your chest as you felt just how far the mattress dipped underneath his weight, though you couldn’t tell if it was from the embarrassment of being caught, or another feeling entirely.

Ever since that night on the dance floor, you two had become fairly acquainted with each other's rooms, sneaking into one another's quarters when sleep refused to visit either of you, or just to sit in a comfortable silence when the world became too much. It all felt so easy between the two of you, the laughter, the banter, the trust, but now, just because you felt so pick-pocket-ly - inclined, you could have very possibly thrown it all out the window.

Any words you could have said in this moment seemed to be caught in your throat, there was no explanation for why you had suddenly come into possession of his notebook other than you simply just seeing it and taking it, god, how could you be so stupid-

“Those are my favorites” he repeated, smiling as he picked up the book and flipped to the last page you had been on.

There was no hiding the shocked expression that was written all over your face. You had very obviously taken the one thing he always carried with him, he probably looked all over the Tower for it, turned his entire room inside out, but he seemed so calm, like he just knew you would have it.

He pointed to a few items on the page, “As much as I like the other stuff, these are my favorites” he hummed as his eyes scanned the lists, slowly repeating a few of the movies and songs that were written down.

The realization hit you harder than the shock of being caught, these weren’t just his favorite things, they were yours.

All the songs you sang in the shower when you had thought nobody could hear you, the movies you had quoted and then gasped when you realized he had most likely never had seen it before, only to clumsily scramble over to sit beside him to recount the plot to him. It almost seemed like every offhand movie reference or mention of a song from your childhood was written down.

An exuberant burst of laughter broke you from your thoughts, and you found yourself laughing with him, while you weren’t sure exactly what he was laughing at, you were sure you could get used to the sound of his happiness.

He continued to read from his notebook, occasionally turning to you to tell you why he enjoyed it so much, though you found it hard to listen when the sliver of warm, fading sunlight that crept through your window traced his features the way it did. You’d never wished to be an artist, but suddenly, in this moment, you found yourself with the deep desire to paint.

Though you were content to simply just admire the view for now.

“Hey”

You raised your eyebrows in response, mentally cringing at yourself as you prayed he didn’t just catch you staring so intently at his features.

“Thank you” he added softly, placing his hand on your thigh

“For what?” You laughed, you certainly hadn’t done anything worth being thanked, especially after just stealing his property, tilting your head in confusion as you tried to think of anything else you could have possibly done to warrant his response

“Just…” He sighed, a touch of annoyance spiked his tone, like he was just hoping you could understand him without so many words. “Thank you”

You just smiled in response, nodding your head and placing your hand atop his.

Maybe you did understand.

You hastily whipped your tears as you stood in front of your door. You tried your best to convince yourself you were being irrational, that everything was fine, even though things felt anything but fine.

You couldn’t keep avoiding him. You were going to march into your apartment and find out what was wrong once and for all, if you could only convince your trembling hands to turn the door knob.

The door slowly opened with a quiet groan from the slightly rusting hinges

“Was starting to wonder when you’d get back”

You didn’t mean to let your bag collapse to the floor, nor did you mean to gasp as loud as you did, but how could you not?

It was like something out of a movie, small candles lining the kitchen counter and scattered throughout the living room, you found yourself chuckling quietly to yourself as you noticed rose petals thrown about haphazardly around the living room.

“D’you like it?”

You finally turned to look at him, and you felt a lump begin to form in your throat.

There he was, Steven Grant Rogers, looking at you with every ounce of love he held within his body, in his old military uniform.

You covered your mouth to stifle the gasp that escaped your lips

“Still fits” He added

“I’d say so” you mumbled, mostly to yourself, but the sly smirk that pulled at the corner of his lips told you otherwise.

“I uh, I wanted to ask you something...” He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, his eyes glued to the floor as he awaited a response.

But you couldn’t think of one. You had almost forgotten why you had been so upset in the first place, almost. “We should-” you sighed, gathering the courage to continue, “We should talk.”

“Oh, yeah, of course” He rushed, you almost felt a slight relief at the thought that he may be just as nervous as you.

You took a few steps closer to him, careful not to disrupt any of the petals that were scattered across the flooring. “I’m-” You cut yourself off with a sob, and in an instant you were falling into his chest, your tears flowing freely as you cried out every emotion you had been holding in since he came home.

“Hey, hey, hey” he whispered, lifting your chin up with two fingers to look at him, “What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?”

You could see the panic in his eyes as he scanned your face for any answers.

“No, no, you didn’t do anything” You sniffled, “I just wanted to say sorry.” It was hard to look at him as the words tumbled from your mouth, he clearly wasn’t aware of anything going wrong, and you felt a twinge of anger at yourself as you thought how you might have just reminded him of something he wasn’t even fully aware of until now, you closed your eyes, readying yourself for whatever ‘put-them-down-gently’ goodbye that he was surely putting together in his mind during the heavy silence.

“Sweetheart, what are you sorry for?”

You furrowed your brows, “What?” Was the only word you could manage to sputter through your confusion.

“I’m sorry” He added “When I came home, and I heard you playing that song” He laughed, “It just got me thinking about a lot of things, and I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything about them until now.”

And here it comes, the ‘but’, the goodbye. You almost felt like stopping him right there and turning back to walk out the door yourself, then, you at least wouldn’t have to hear him say it himself.

You were too caught up in your own thoughts to realize how he was swaying you back and forth, “You know, I’ve spent so much of my life living in the past. Always feeling like I was living in the wrong time, like maybe things would’ve been better- different” he corrected, “if I had stayed back then. But seeing you, dancing around in our apartment…” He took your being caught off guard as the perfect opportunity to spin you, holding out his harm and turning you back into his chest as you giggled. “I realized, I think I’m right where I’m supposed to be.” He suddenly pulled away from you then, his eyes searching the room around you as if he had misplaced something. An almost silent gasp parted his lips as he almost lunged to reach under the side table by the front door behind you.

“Close your eyes” He whispered, and you happily complied.

After a slight ruckus and shuffling, you heard it.

‘The trembling trees embraced the breeze tenderly, then you and I came wandering by, and lost in a sigh were we’

You snapped your eyes open, your gaze landing on the new addition to your kitchen counter.

“Steve…” You sighed, eyes welling up with tears once again

“Well actually, Bucky found it at some antique store he was passing by and he told me about it and I just thought you might like it” He explained rapidly before you could even fathom a response.

The rich mahogany finish on the box played in perfect contrast to the shimmering, golden lettering on the underside of the lid and it’s matching hinges. You stepped closer to it, gently tracing your hand along the intricate carvings that lay around the base. You wondered how Bucky had found something in such good condition in an antique store, the record spinning without a single skip, the smooth melody filling your apartment with a new kind of warmth.

“It’s beautiful” you breathed

If you weren’t so busy admiring the artistry of the Victrola, maybe you would’ve noticed the weight of Steve’s gaze on your form.

“Yeah…”

His hands snaking around your waist had you finally turning to look up at him, and before you could say thank you, he continued.

“I wanted to tell you, I haven’t really thought about those things in a while, everything that happened back then, ‘cus now I’ve just been thinking about the future, and-” He cleared his throat, like his own words were threatening to strangle him if he didn’t get them out soon enough, “And how I’d like to spend it with you… If you’d let me?”

Your hands fell from his chest as he slowly bent down on one knee, retrieving the small, black velvet box from his pocket, “Would you do me the honor of-”

Before he could even finish, your lips were on his as you pulled him up by his collar, “I love you. I love you. I love you.” You repeated, punctuating each utterance of the phrase with another kiss.

“So I can take that as a yes…?” He mumbled as you continued your pursuit

When you lifted your chin to look at him, your heart dropped. His eyes were glassy, his brow furrowed, the beginnings of a blush beginning to crawl onto his cheeks, his hands trembled as you held them, was he scared?

Though as you looked deeper into his eyes, you understood. He was scared, he wasn’t sure if you would say yes.

You could almost laugh at his presumption, but you chose to whisper instead, “Yes. Of course. Always.”

His expression turned in an instant, eyes shining with excitement and hope for the future, your future.

He slipped the ring on your finger hurriedly and held you with a gentleness like you would float away in a puff of smoke if he clutched onto you too tightly. And in truth, you wouldn’t mind if you did, if you disappeared into thin air tomorrow, you would be happy knowing this night was your final one spent on this Earth.

But it wasn’t, and neither would be tomorrow night, or the next day.

You had the promise of one thousand forevers at your fingertips, and you couldn’t wait to spend them all with him.

oh goodness, i hope you all enjoy this bit of fluff as much as i did writing it! the song i used in this one is 'tenderly' by rosemary clooney, but also was inspired by 'p.s. i love you' by billie holiday! let me know if you give them a listen, they're just so cute! thank you so so much for reading! and as always, reblogs, likes, and comments are much appreciated! feel free to hop into my asks, i'd love for you to let me know what you think! (or if you just want to talk about all the nerdy things!)

want more steve rogers? check out my masterlist!

i hope you are all doing so well! mwauh!

#steve rogers fluff #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x f!reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers comfort #captain america x reader #captain america: the first avenger #comfort fic #marvel one shot #steve rogers x y/n #no use of y/n

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