#megatron x Rodimus prime

[muanpurr]

[cozzzynook]

Some Megarod

Ravage was the first to notice the change in the co-captains behaviour, eons of serving by Megatron's side will do that to a mech. As for now the cyber-cat was currently watching the grey mech softly grumbling to himself as he tried to focus on reading a data pad. After struggling to re-read the same paragraph for the fifth time Megatron finally put down the data pad with a huff before putting his helm in his servos.

"You should just deal with it already, Rut always makes you irritable" Ravage spoke flicking his tail as he sat in the darkest corner of the hab.

Megatron just let out a low groan slumping forwards before grumbling out his reply. "You know suppressers never worked for me. Besides no one in their right mind on this ship would let me interface with them. So let me suffer in peace"

Scoffing the feline stalked closer until he was at the foot of the desk. Reaching up on his hind legs Ravage nudged Megatron's arm with a paw. "You'd be surprised"

"What do you mean by that?" A red optic opened before narrowing sharply.

"Well, he's always around yapping on about the quest and has a bright shade of red and gold paint" Ravage smirked when he heard a low rumble from the grey mech's engine.

"No, you can't be serious..." Megatron finally removed his servos from his face only to lean backwards in his chair with a sigh. "Rodimus would never- he should hate me like everyone else"

"Oh, but he doesn't really" Another smirk found itself on Ravage's snout as he finally stepped away trotting to his corner again. "You should really hear him sometimes, its almost flattering what he says about you when he thinks no one is listing"

-----

Unsure wherever to take Ravage's word, Megatron just softly grumbled as he rose from his seat and began heading for the door. If what his old friend said was true he wanted to find out for himself. Quickly scanning the hallway for anyone else, Megatron then left and began quickly walking towards Rodimus's quarters. He felt foolish how's his sparked quickened or how his processor flashed images of Rodimus under him with a lustful glint in his optics all the while he softly moaned his name. Shaking his helm Megatron found himself at his co-captains door, with a sigh and what little dignity he had left he knocked on the door not expecting an answer.

A few klicks went by before the door finally opened reviling Rodimus who had clearly just finished snacking on some treats considering the crumbs on his face. "Oh Megs, what brings you hear at this hour? Did Magnus ask you to tell me about those reports I need to finish because I'd promised I'll get to them eventually"

"No, Magnus didn't send me here" Megatron quickly averted his gaze as he took in a sharp vent. "I wanted to ask you a favour..."

"Okay then?" Rodimus just crossed his arms leaning on the wall as he raised a brow. "What's up?"

Feeling his face grow warmer and his spark flutter Megatron cleared his intake before returning Rodimus's gaze with his own. "I'm in Rut, I was hoping you could...help?" This was stupid, he was stupid, why was he doing this?!

"O-oh" Rodimus's cheeks grew a few shades darker as he quickly lowered his gaze with a awkward smile. "Wow, heh a little forwards aren't we Megs?" He would rub the back of his neck as he let out a nervous chuckle.

Megatron quickly began to turn away already admitting defeat, he'll just suffer through this alone. "Its fine if you disagree. I'm not sure why I even came here in the first place..." Just before he took one step he felt servos grabbing at his arm causing him to turn back.

"Wait! I-I didn't say no. I was just surprised that you trust me...at all" Rodimus had a bashful smile on his face, while his spoiler gently fluttered behind him. His grip then softened when he felt that Megatron wasn't going to run away any time soon. "I'd be happy to help out...if you'll let me?"

"Are you sure?" Megatron had fully turned to look at Rodimus, one of his servos reached forwards to gently cup the red mech's cheek. "I can be much...when I'm like this"

Rodimus just smiled nodding softly as he leaned into Megatron's gentle touch. "I'm sure, I...trust you too Megs"

Feeling his spark flutter again Megatron allowed himself to lean closer already tipping Rodimus's helm a little higher until he was inches away from the red mech's face. "And I trust you as well, Rodimus Prime of Nyon" He then finally allowed his resolve melt away as he allowed himself to capture Rodimus's lips with his own. He felt Rodimus softly moan into the kiss as gold servos wrapped themselves around his neck pulling Megatron closer. He too allowed his free servo to wander only to land on red hip plating, wasting no time he grabbed a hold of it only to tease at the sensitive seems with his thumb drawing a soft sigh from his co-captain. For now they can let themselves get lost in the kiss, after all there was no rush the night was still young.

ᓚᘏᗢ

Kitty kat…you’re a cool kat!!!

This is a wonderful thing to enjoy!!

[hoshihiime]

Anyone got a MegaRod Shattered Glass AU where they swap Rodimus’/Megatrons??? Please???

[starseeker95]

I literally have no excuse not to finish my WIP from 2019

[tinydefector]

Do you think cybertronians ever get a bit freaked out on how tough we are? Yes they can break us like toothpicks but humans seem to be able to take a good beating as well with adrenaline helping. Even our own body and oxygen trys kills us and yet we stick around like roaches. We're fragile in some reasonable and dumb ways and then resilient in the most dumbest ways.

Oh definitely, alot of the bots are very off put by how fragile humans are just in general and tend to avoid them.

But then there's the moments like Ratchet working a late shift and a small knock on the door alerts him someone's there, he turns around expecting it to be Rodimus or Whirl who he's about to scold but instead it's one of the humans and they look worse for wear. After fussing over them for a moment, detailed scans relay fractured ribs, a broken collar bone, and a heap of bruises and yet the humans just like. "Can I have some Panadol, Nurophen, and a glass of water?" Because they don't know what else to do its what they would get. Most of the times they ended up in the hospital. Ratchet is losing his God dawn mind as he rushes around looking for the best painkillers he can find for orgaincs in the smallest dosage he can give, hoping to primus it doesn't shut their heart down. In the end, they end up on a medication that makes them extremely drowsy, almost like the green whistle/ Weed.

Ratchet ends up doing alot of study on the human body and realises just how fucked up little monsters we are. We literally need oxygen to survive but he we have to much pure oxygen it will kill us. Water, we need a certain amount of it, if we don't have enough we will get dehydrated and die, if we have to much we will get water poisoning, intoxication, or a disruption of brain function. This happens when there's too much water in our cells, such as the brain and blood cells, causing them to swell. When the cells in the brain swell, they cause pressure in the brain, resulting in death. The issue is that it can become an addiction to drinking too much water for the effect it has on the body. Same with nearly everything we consume, it can kill us, but we need a lot of it in moderation.

Human: "I just need some basic pain killers and a nap"

Bot: "No, you need full surgery, sedations, and 3 weeks of recovery!"

Human: "nah she'll be fine!"

Bot: "Absolutely Not, bed now before I cuff you"

____________

Following that imagine a first contact AU where Cybertronians and humans are just slowly getting to know how the other works and next thing a human is kneeling over in horrific pain and it send the bots all into panic mode trying to help them, wondering what's happening and thinking they are dying. And the human after about ten minutes some pain killers still looking rather pale and unhealthy just go. "Sorry about that fuck I hate, Cramps/palpitations/ phantom pains/ and such" and the bots are just looking at them horrified like.

Bot: NOT NORMAL!!!"

Human: what you talking about?

Bot: everything that just happened you literally just short circuited!

Human: nah that's causal wait till you see the really funky shit.

______________

Human pet AU

Cybertronian's keeping humans as pets is like humans keeping hamsters. Humans are some of the most homicidal, suicidal and just deranged creatures that Cybertronian's could keep as pets. It's gotten to the point that they are a luxury/ exotic pet because if you do not feed them the right stuff, give them the right amount of light and socialising, and they will just die. There are so many Cybertronian's who take their human into clinics worried as and its just the human being a little bustard because they didn't get the treat they wanted 2 weeks ago and are still holding that grudge. Not to mention, we are prone to causing as much trouble and issue. We are like cats.

But we are also very easily sick and primus forbid a human gets sick because to a bot they think it's a death sentence for their sweet little spitfire of a human who they have had now for ages. And the human looks ready to die, and the next day, they are up and about like nothing ever happened.

Human: if you don't feed me the meals I want I'm going to pretend to die. If you do feed me what I want I might actually die because I shouldn't be eating it.

Panicked bot: "MY HUMAN HAS GOTTEN SICK. HELP!?!"

Human: totally worth it.

_________

In conclusion, the cybertronians are rather wary/ concerned about how resilient humans really are.

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[6kai3]

doodls....

[robolvrr]

f-r-e-a-k !‿⁠✷｡✧

lost light members react to human porn (and develop some preferences of their own.)

ft. skids! megatron! rodimus! swerve! ultra magnus!

nsfw under the cut.

rodimus prime - top-five ranked

when he first heard actual, genuine human content had reached aboard his ship, he had quickly formed a half-assed meeting to announce that he, of course, being captain and all should review with ultra magnus.. and perhaps rewind too, before dispersing it out to the crew.

of course when ultra magnus expressed his surprise at this new leaf turned, eager to scour through intergalactic protocol he simply let one word out the other audial and made some grave, grammatical errors to distract the mech and let the captain do his own decision making.

he spends a lot of time nitpicking. he doesn't like movies as much so he reserves those to swerve nor does he care too much about books.

a functioning computer however....

he's bored. and curious. two demons that never dwell well together in the same room.

clearing browser history? never heard of that!

good thing the previous owner has lots of bookmarks, because he finds it infinitely easier to sift through links there than carefully type.

"porn...hub? what's that? must be some kinda uh.. uhhh... uh."

cue the fan whirring. he's hunched over and slack jawed, staring at the frankly color-clashing archive and almost pushing himself away when the cursor hovers over a video - and the humans in it start moving.

clicked the first video with a bold "#1 ranked". he really shouldn't. he really, really should just toss this tempting contraband out the nearest garbage disposal.

"unhh! harder! haaarder! ♡"

he's focused hard on the spike - cock, he learns, or dick, humans got lots of funny terms - ruts rough into you, forcing you to melt forward and squeak through sheets.

the loud, exaggerated moans make him pitifully decide otherwise. imagine him, all weak in the knees, sliding down to sit as he watches transfixed.

flesh on flesh hitting sounds a lot better when it's this and not fighting.

sooner or later, he's huffing into his servo, jacking off his spike and squeezing the tip so rough he's almost jealous seeing you bouncing away. you'd be so, so fragging soft. he can imagine squeezing your limbs and twisting you around to his liking.

overloads fast. he's almost ashamed enough to be embarrassed.

now? can't reach his climaxes unless there's some raunchy, wet-coated squeals in his memory banks. doesn't bother searching up anything because he doesn't have the patience to cultivate. you just happen to be at the top so he gladly sticks watching your holes get sticky any cycle.

skids - playboy bunny

"oh for prime's sake, chromedome don't make me feel like i'm trading for somethin' illegal."

won a "mystery stash" from a late night gamble. of course, not all of rodimus's finds stayed quiet.

he isn't sure why it's such a big deal. the cardboard box which spills open easily under a digit's care isn't filled with weaponry or bombs.

it's almost funny, this giant picking up a magazine in a pinch, helm tilted and keeping it an arm's distance away like the pages might bite.

he looks at the front cover for a long, long time.

his processor isn't catching up. then he squints. gets reaaaaal close.

there's you! all dolled up, as the humans would say. except you're really not, because half of your squishy aft is out, and your servos are covering up your chest but aren't doing a good job.

neither is the bright, blue bow christened at your pelvic area, where he realizes with a jolt is lacking any modesty panels of any kind.

flips a page. oh, it's you again. curved over a lounge. cheekily spreading yourself with a... gathering of lace twisted around your frame.

another one. you got something round in your mouth. he looks carefully at your lips.

and then he's flipping through all of it, and digging into the box and oh, he's found a jackpot because it's all you.

now he understands why it's got the markered "collectors items" on the side. he doesn't question too much when he spits lubricant down onto his spike. dedicated some of that cotton candy gossamer all over your february edition of playboy in approval.

megatron - classic erotica

a true mech of literature. now, unlike many of the lost light, he's had his run in with humanity before. not that he particularly got or wanted to enjoy their culture back then.

though when he did find his way back onto a possible path of redemption, he did indulge once upon a time.

at his spark, he's a poet. a linguist. enjoyer of golden age, art and craftsmanship.

earthen literature has its.. moments. he reads novellas and lost to the history manuscripts, plays, all of which have almost all been uploaded to more convenient means as upkeep for the paper is a pain.

however, he has found one book. a funny looking book, with a funny looking cover.

he observes, rigidly, the scandalous embrace of what he assumed to be the characters, how clothing lacked in areas it shouldn't and skin was almost.. glistening. "seven nights of passion." a chuff left his dermas.

ah, to pit with it. why not?

megatron finds himself slowly involved with the chapters despite the comedy of its advertisement. the writer, you, no doubt under a penname, push development shockingly far.. for a human.

and the intimacy? interfacing? so descriptive. while he has not seen what he is reviewing, he can imagine it. images of sweaty bodies, grinding and yearning and crying.

cybertronians have no reason or function to. the thought of a human, pushed to the brink overloaded with stimulation is... stimulating.

it is a shame when it comes to an end but he might in his free-time peruse for more. leaves his plating warm and intake dry.

the authors note suggests that your inspiration drives from personal experience.

his ... array fizzles at that. fascinating.

swerve - r-rated movie night

"wowza. that's hh. haha. woah! they all do that.. ?"

first movie he flipped onto the projector was supposed to be an "action and feel-good film with hints of romance, angst and sci-fi elements."

not even halfway through, you, the imaginary captain of the imaginary "roman's ravager" have your uniform shimmied down to your ankles, mouth mashing against your supposed rival, who everyone has been heckling for the past forty-five minutes.

some of the mechs cheer, other grumble and argue to skip, others squirm and grimace. swerve watched you push the other down, head tilting back as the camera zooms to your face.

"it's just acting, ya' degenerates, stop acting like protoforms!"

it isn't until he feels a servo smack upside his helm that he starts fumbling for the remote. too much noise but now he's getting a comm from mags asking about what the rackets for so! fast forward he goes.

at 1x.

while the chaos starts to settle, he peeks between digits. catches glimpses of your open mouth. the goosebumps down your chest. how you shake at the insinuation that someone is between your legs, servicing.

slag. when's the last time he's even played with his valve?

movie night was a hit regardless of the commotion. he has to clean up after, which thankfully didn't result in any expelled energon or skid-marks.

that also means he's alone. alone, in his bar. all by himself, staring at the rest of the discs with your pictures on the front, credits humming in the background.

it'll be good for the economy. (all of it is pirated.)

maybe it's for the best. because now, he's realizing you really are a great actor, in lots of different genres, able to adapt and really grab his attention.

it's not as if his spark pulses seeing you in costumes, or using that soft voice you do in all your roles when you make a point.

not like he's riding his digits and crunching into a fist when you're running on the beach, sand dappled and leaving little to imagination.

ends up on his back, charged up and shaking. hurts to speak, to move or to dab up the puddle of transfluid, laughing deliriously when his panels are even too much effort to close.

ultra magnus - audio praise

"you're doing such a good job. you're perfect. you know that, right? yes you do, so good for me."

when he first heard you, he damn near crushes the auditory device and full-blown shudders in the confines of his hab. he's sputtering, optics wide and there's a million reasons he should report this to rodimus and question just what he's given him.

"to help ya uh... research? take the edge off pal."

half-contemplates storming back to the bridge himself if it weren't for your sugar-coated mumbles still coming through the unpaused recording.

you'd think he was dealing with a ticking blast with how he warily handles the device, gruffly spitting out curses that he'd otherwise never allow in crew vicinity.

"i want you to reward yourself. you earned it, honey. can you do that for me? here, listen."

to his horror - and crumbling interest - a slick cacophony of sound rattles in his helm. there's panting, a shift of material that he assumes is tangled around you and frag, he's able to think up you and a thousand faces.

what's worse? is he's hypnotized. you don't demand. you coo to him, just loud enough to let him know you'd be broken too. if he let himself let down that wall, just for the twenty minutes you sing in his audials, he'll know it's done with you just as weak.

"g—gooood job ahhhh!" that does it. ultra magnus groans, shutting off his optics entirely. his large servo feels up along his frame as you suggest.

"i wish you were here. hah.. mmn! could see me. see me fucking myself to you. let you kiss me. you deserve it, sweetie. deserve me on you."

magnus and the sobbed growl to his motors reminds him just how lonely he's felt. always monitoring. always stressed. hearing the spit collect at your throat as your commands grow hoarse makes you feel real.

would you... would you kiss him? would you let him pick you up, rest you flat on his servo and have his glossa lap up your want?

he towers over nearly all. having a partner so much smaller, tinier than even an minibot, shouldn't run up a charge but it does.

he overloads when he's sticking digits near the casing of his spark, ignoring the spurts of pre sizzling down his thighs.

"w-was that as fun.. for you as it was for me?"

dazedly falls onto his berth. this isn't leaving his dermas unless he's had a drink.

a/n : a little haha funny idea i had. there's just something so funny thinking of these giant old robots realizing just how much porn is out there.

[cozzzynook]

They are conjunx & lovers your honor. You must get permission from my clients before using their photos. They’re very sensitive

headempty megarod size difference

[yandere-wishes]

The more I study electronics the more I'm positive whoever came up with Transformers smut terms was studying something in the electronics engineering field.

[zhombiez]

*insert slut joke for rodimus*

[asimp4bee]

I too would smooch Megs if given the chance

[jhalocurse57]

I did this one just for fun lol, you can think of whatever Gen of each of them you wanna, if you wanna comment which gen you were thinking of when you chose who you chose and explain why go on ahead I'd love to hear your answers and reasoning behind them 😄 I'd also love to hear what you'd do on Cybertron long before it fell!

I don't expect this to go viral at all like the last poll lol

[cozzzynook]

Wholsome Megarod fluff

Megatron gave a low grumble as he tried to bury his face further into his pillow. However that did little to prevent his wiggly conjunx from trying to stir him awake.

"Psst, Megs...Megs...Megs!" Rodimus chirped as he gently shook his conjunx's shoulder.

"Hmm?" Finally opening one sleepy optic Megatron looked over his shoulder finally meeting Rodimus's face. "What is it? Its 4 in the morning..."

Rodimus's smile shifted between a sly and soft as he leaned closer reaching for one servo. "Quick you'll miss it!" Was all the red speedster spoke.

Sluggishly sitting up Megatron turned to fully face Rodimus who had a wide smile. "Miss what?" Without question Megatron allowed Rodimus to grab a-hold of his servo leading it, there the speedster placed it upon his puffy tanks. There the grey mech finally understood what was happing.

"They stared kicking! Our bittie is kicking for the first time, Megs!" Rodimus happily fluttered his spoiler as he watched the small smile beginning to form on the grey mech's face. "I was worried they would start kicking my ribs first, but it seems they started with just the middle"

A soft sort chuckle escaped the grey mech as he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on the speedster's cheek. He then turned his attention to the small bump as he gently ran his servo, along it feeling the tiny pedes kick against his servo. "Take is easy down there little warrior. Your Sire both wants you and your Carrier in one piece. So there's no need to rush"

Rodimus softly giggles as he snuggled closer to Megatron, placing his head in the crook of the larger mech's neck before happily sighing. "Still can't believe all of this is real. It all feels like one big dream"

"And its one I hope we never wake from, my flame" Megatron would wrap his arms around Rodimus's frame pulling him close before placing more gentle kisses on face. "And speaking of dreams, perhaps we should return to ours?"

"Mm, sounds good" Rodimus snuggled closer burying his face deeper into the crook of Megatron's neck. "You're like the best giant pillow"

With one last kiss Megatron slowly and carefully helped his conjunx lie down on their plush berth. He then joined his side by snuggling close and wrapping one arm around him, still being mindful not to disturb the growing tanks as he pulled Rodimus closer. "Goodnight my flame, sweet dreams"

"Night Megs, I love you"

"I love you too"

Tfcctcyvfrxvnkmmibgrdzszv AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS 😭😭😭

[hello-gloomy]

Giant Woman

Rodimus Prime x Female!Human!Reader

(Slight Lost Light crew x reader)

--------------------------

Description: An exploration mission gone wrong causes you to test out a new weapon to help your captains out of a tight spot. Chaos ensues.

Warnings: Slightly OOC, Crack taken seriously, Mild violence, slight horniness at the end (my bad).

A/N: I haven't read all of Lost Light or MTMTE. I did read Echo Garden and their Wiki pages, so that'll have to be good enough.

Words: 1,046

--------------------------

Megatron navigated the dimly lit passages, his silver frame holding the weight of the injured Rodimus slung across his shoulder. Suddenly, a crash rumbled through the underground tunnels, shaking the ground beneath their feet. Dust and debris fell from the ceiling above, and they stopped moving to look up at the giant hole above them. A massive hand reached down and grabbed one of the hostiles as it started screaming in fear while the others began shooting at the hand. There was more thumping and noises above them.

"That's not good," Rodimus joked nervously. He hissed in pain when they started walking again. The screaming behind them suddenly stopped, and a flash of air blew past them. While they continued walking, Rodimus glanced behind them and saw the hand reaching toward them.

"Oh shit." Megatron turned while still walking to look at what made his co-captain panic. "Can't we go any faster?!" He tried to limp faster to keep up better with Megatron, who increased his pace. The hand behind them was about to snatch them when Rodimus started screaming. It finally grabbed them and shot back out the way it came and through the hole. They were back at the surface; they heard screaming and shots being fired. The hand holding kept them shrouded and dark; they were shifted and pressed against something slightly soft, covered in armor and fabric, which let off a slight blue glow. Megatron leaned against the wall and heard a beating noise; the wall rose and fell slightly while it moved. Suddenly, they picked up in speed, and they were squeezed a bit tighter. A light showered over them, and they were set near the landed Lost Light; Rodimus dropped to the ground, relieved and tired, while Megatron looked back to see who had saved them. His optics widened in disbelief at the sight in front of him; it was you, mass-displaced and huge compared to them; you practically on par with the Lost Light. Your mask went back into place, and you ran back to the hostiles approaching the ship and kicked them as far as you could, scooping others up and throwing them while blocking laser blasts.

Megatron shook himself from the surprise and limped Rodimus back onto the ship. A confused Swerve and Velocity rounded the corner to ask what was happening. The hangar door closed, and they all turned around to look. You walked in, and your mask snapped off with a hiss and a shake of your hair. You stopped right next to the group, everyone speechless at the sight of you the exact size of them.

"I'll take him to the med bay, Megs." Megatron lets go, and you scoop Rodimus into a princess carry and strut off with him in your arms.

"Holy Primus," Swerve said while watching you fade down the halls.

" I gotta tell Anode!" She sped off down the hallway giddly. Megatron sighed and walked off as well, much too tired to care.

Your wall down to Med Bay is quiet. Rodimus hasn't said a word, staring in awe at you while holding on to your neck, his head resting against your soft chest, listening to your heartbeat. You look down at him and slow your walk a bit. "You so quiet, Roddy." You tease him gently, but he only gives you a nod and a quiet 'Mhmm.' You enter the med bay and plop him down on a berth. Ratchet doesn't turn around to look at the two of you; he finally stops and starts to lecture.

"Can't you bots try to be caref-Oh, my Primus!?" He looked at you and dropped the instrument he was using, shocked to be face-to-face with you. "Hey, Ratchet, did you look at- Holy Shit!" First Aid walked and stopped in surprise at you as well. You're trying not to laugh at this point, finding the whole ordeal hilarious. You snap them out of their trance and ask them to fix their captain's leg. While working, all three of them steal glances at you, checking the stats on your armor. Brainstorm suddenly bursts in the room.

"IT WORKED!" His smile was huge and practically glowing with pride. You started laughing at his excitement and let him poke at the armor for a little bit, taking notes for him while he prattled on in eagerness. It should wear off in a few hours. Let me know if anything feels off at all, " he said after checking everything out. You gave him a nod, and he walked out, muttering about the suit's statistics. You smile and wave your hand, and the medics finish up on Rodimus's leg. They check the rest of him before giving him a clean bill of health; you help him stand up, and he virtually smooshes himself against your body, almost rubbing you like a cat. You laugh a bit before Megatron and Ultra Magnus walk in. Megatron waves his hand in your direction with a pointed look at Magnus.

"Huh," Magnus says quietly, "Hi Megs, Hi Mags!" Megatron walks right back out, and Magnus stands momentarily before speaking. "Just ensure the two of you finish your battle reports on time." He turns and leaves; following Ultra Magnus's and Megatron's steps, you walk back to your and Rodimus's shared Berthroom. The door to the room shuts behind you, and you set your Sparkmate on the berth, taking a seat beside him. He quietly watches you, taking in all your features. He can see much closer now that you are the same size as him. You gently rub his spoiler while he takes you in. He looks up, and his optics meet your eyes, currently blue to match the chemicals running in your suit that helped you change your size. He grabs one of your hands, and his other servo caresses your face affectionately; you lean in and kiss him, closing your eyes and wrapping your arms. You let go, get up to lock the door, and dim the lights, sauntering over to him in the most seductive way possible.

"We got a few hours before this wears off. Want to try something fun?" You whisper to him while pushing him down on the berth, hovering over him.

"Primus, yes."

[drabbletron]

Hauk Tua (Spit on that thang)

|| I wrote this to be a little silly and in reference of a thing I saw where a women did this in front of her husband he looked pretty surprised lol ||

Both captains watch as you unceremoniously grab the dispenser, spit on your hand, lather the spout in your saliva, and proceed to force it into the port. Your ambassador looks embarrassed and mortified as you then pat him on the arm and tell him "you're welcome" before sauntering off to fill out the rest of the paperwork you'd been saddled with again.

Megatron is outright flabbergasted and mildly turned on at the confidence of your movements. It was crude behavior like that which you sometimes exhibited that keeps his fans whirring at night. Rodimus is also just barely able to keep his fans from kicking on as he sees you take charge of the situation. He too is affected by the boldness of your actions and the fact that you aren't afraid to get a little dirty or a little sassy.

[tinydefector]

Every single day I think about your post about bots being freaky xenophiles about humans it is my Roman empire

Heheheh I'm glad you guys like it but here's some other funny ideas I have of humans being stupid little creatures forgetting that the bots are literally Alien robots.

- getting smoochy with one of the Bots and attempting to fondle them, you slap their headlight and their horn honks, scaring not only you but the bot themself, it kinda ruins the mood but it's worth the laugh afterwards.

- specifically an Optimus Prime one. Having to tell this bot to get a power wash before he's allowed to sleep with you becuase God forbid you have to lay beside him because all you can smell is diesel and it makes your stomach churn so badly. He will grumble about it but if it means he gets to cuddle and hold you of a night you can bet your boots he is squeaky clean. (Also leads to alot of bathroom fun)

- taking any of the speedsters to a show and shine, it's like a fuckin car porn show and the bots are just stunned. Rodimus is having the time of his life literally having humans touching every inch of him as they admire his paint and engine. He loves it even more when you get the bucket of water out. It becomes something he regularly ask you to go do with him becuase he loves having you dressed up all nice and showing him off. In more than one way the praise really makes him feel worth it. He loves having you lean into his engine bay asking if he's alright, asking to just let them know when he wants to go. And this bot treats you to a nice beach side date after. (He has every local show and shine dated) other bots who love this consist of. Tracks, Jazz, Mirage, Knockout(he likes making Breakdown Jealous. Get cucked in the back row)

-rust, it is ratchets most hated thing to deal with because of how corrosive it is to their frames, and trying to find something on earth that works well enough to clear it off so he can do surgerys leads him to the humans gifting him a large thing of Coca-Cola, it works just as well as clean cutter (cybertronian rust remover), when he realises the ingredients are very similar it makes life so much easier until he catches The humans drinking it and he nearly has a spark attack trying to make them regurgitate it. It leads to him finding out that humans casually drink it when they really shouldn't.

- the bugs and insect carnage left in the bots grills, windshield and just small gaps. The horror on one of the humans face when they kiss their bot and then that taste the nastness of dead bugs. Or them enjoying laying on their bot and then a spider crawls out of a gap, scurring right towards them. It leads to the bots regularly getting washes alot more that they ever would have on cybertron, and it's time each bot loves so much. Becuase it develops into pull sized bathtubs, power washing, polished and just proper care given to them.

Here's also a collection of new things humans do that become kinks or fetishes for the bots.

- cleaning/ washing,

- panel beating and repairs

-causal car maintenance

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