#medschoolph

[girlmedisine]

april 13, 2024

always taking the time to relish in the stillness of it all, despite being stuck in the middle of the fast-paced world of medicine

[okbloomer]

No one prepared me for the pain med school brings. Not even the Reddit posts under r/medschoolph prepared me for this kind of pain and sadness. Whether it's the sting of downfalls and failures or the heartache of bidding goodbye and parting ways with the people who have shared your journey.

I hope this redirection leads to flourishing.

[idyadiaries]

115 Days into Med School

My first semester in med school came to a full circle. Though I feel like I've already gone through all the emotions—the ups and the downs— I know this is just a taste of what's to come.

At least that's what I have repeatedly heard from doctors I met.

"Mahirap talaga ang med school. Ganun lang talaga siya."

"You are being prepared for what you will face in the real word."

And when everyone's morale was at a critical low,

"I read the study material 7 times until I felt sick of it."

I started med school feeling lost. At some point, I felt like I'm starting to figure out where to plant my feet. But as we close the semester, I'm feeling more lost than I did at the beginning.

I began the journey motivated and grateful. Somewhere in the middle, I got shaken and unsure as my exams returned in a stringbof failing marks—a constant feeling of blundering through my small group discussions (SGDs) & OSCEs. But with today's event, I am reminded of the privilege I have been enjoying these past four months— despite the hardships.

I learned that emotions—while they can be a signal to something I need to pay attention to—are just emotions at the end of the day. They won't stay for long. So just feel the emotion but don't dwell on it.

One thing for sure, I would remember all the novel things I felt in med school.

Despite the heaviness I felt lately, I want to carry the sense of wonder and gratitude throughout the days ahead. If I feel lost, I want to be reminded that I am in a place of privilege.

#innerspacejourney #medblr #studyblr #medstudent #medschoolph #medschool #medstudentph

[caimitos]

using phone-in-bed time to beam negative energy directly into my brain (lurk on r/medschoolph)

[epiphanymd]

Transcribed Notes + Book = 🤯

[danahmbisyosangdoktora]

MD no more?

I just learned last week that both CHED and DOH wont be offering scholarships for medicine anymore to “make way” for the Doktor Para sa Bayan Act.

Guess I just blew my only chance to pursue med?

I wish I just followed my initial plan and didn’t get too emotional? I was so determined to pursue med this 2021, I enrolled in a review center and was so ready to take the March exam but I backed out and changed my plans. As if it wasn’t enough, I even had the audacity to take 5 units of Molecular Biology and Diagnostics.

A little backstory and another episode of “me making everything about me”, my father got into an accident last December which made him disabled (and impossible to go back abroad to support my studies.) It was Sunday and I was having my review class back then when it happened. I was usually locked up in my room to avoid distractions when I overheard noises outside and learned that there was someone who got into an accident few blocks away from our home and they said it was probably my father. Everything happened so fast! My mother told me and my sister to check if it was Papa. My sister got there first and when I saw her come back crying, I immediately ran back to our house, changed clothes and went to the hospital.

I was so busy with my review, I didn’t notice my phone was being blown with calls and messages from my boss and workmates. They knew my father got in an accident before me! Luckily, he was able to tell everyone in the ER I’m an employee that’s why he was given prompt attention.

I have never told anyone about this enough but it was a bit traumatizing for me. To be honest, literally few days before that day, when I was crossmatching and heard an ambulance, I had this random thought na “what if a relative of mine is in need of blood? ako talaga magc-crossmatch kahit na off duty ako” — it didn’t happen. I didn’t know what to do. I almost passed out when I saw the oozing blood out of my father’s leg. I had to get out of the ER to breathe but I had to compose myself because I’m the one who knows the process in our hospital and had to get things done as soon as possible. My father had a “direct OR”. We were lucky because I am working in the Blood Bank and extra lucky because we have stocks at the time! We were able to release five units in a jiffy and it was tagged under his name until we were discharged. The nurses kept telling me we were lucky because there were blood units back then because my father lost lots of blood and probs wont make it if there’s none. If I remember correctly, three units were transfused while he’s in the OR.

From then, I wasn’t able to absorb whatever is being taught in the lectures. I just finished the review class for the sake of finishing it. Even now, just the thought of reviewing again takes me back to that day. The accident made what I was only fearing for before happen and instilled a whole new level of fear to me. 

“What if the same thing or worse happens if I’m away?” We were fine because I am working in a hospital but it would be different if I am no longer working. This and my previous thoughts made me decide not to push through studying this 2021. I also thought diverting my attention to other career path is better. I took up Molecular Biology to satisfy my long overdue desire for it ever since college. But it didn’t last. I really want to be a doctor!

What if I didn’t let my emotions get through me and still pushed through my plan? What if instead of letting the fears and doubts consume me, I should’ve used it as my inspiration to get in to medschool? 

What if I knew of these scholarships earlier and didn’t have to waste years waiting for validation of “my calling”? I should’ve been either in second or third year now had I not been this indecisive. Few years left and I was supposed to be done yet I’m still stuck in my what ifs and doubts.

On a lighter note, I wish I was born with another dream. I wish I was good at other things that didn’t have to be stuck here, frustrated because I may no longer fulfill my childhood dream.

Most importantly, I wish medical education is affordable or at least just as worth the salary we are getting after.

Medicine is for those with money and those with brains. There’s no place for people like me who’s in the middle and can barely maintain the average.

[anonmedstuggling]

First Post.

Hi.

[chillyindecember]

Med School 2020

I finally got the e-mail from the medical school I applied to! I got in! The only medical school I applied to accepted me! Universe, when everything is going smoothly I hope nothing bad will occur after all these. I am now preparing to enrol and my documents are being sent via a courier which will take a week because of this pandemic. I remember how documents can be received the very next day but things have changed. 

To other aspiring doctors out there, hang in there. Keep grinding for that M.D at the end of your name. 

[bopbopbeepbop]

It was my second year in medical school when I got diagnosed with cancer.

We were just reading and studying the symptoms and diseases in the textbooks and then suddenly I was the one experiencing it.

It started December 2018 as an enlarged lymph node on my neck which continuously grow and multiplied over weeks. After several workups and medications that did not work, the doctor recommended to do a biopsy. By that time, second semester at school just started. I consulted my professor in surgery and he suggested to do the biopsy himself as soon as possible. Before the procedure, they did an x-ray and they found a large tumor in my anterior mediastinum just above my heart which was surprising because my x-ray was normal just a month ago. There were also multiple nodules found on my lungs which are causing some fluid build up. I was alone that time and after talking to my doctor it was the only time I cried really really hard, knowing how serious my condition may be and that I might need to stop in medicine school.

A week after, just few days after my 24th birthday, the result of the biopsy came out. It was Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma B cell type, probably stage 3 or 4. This is a type of cancer that starts from the white blood cells affecting the lymphatic system which is an important part of our immune system..The good thing is that this is very responsive to chemotherapy and have a good prognosis. 

It was unusual, I wasn’t that surprised when my doctor told me that I have cancer. Maybe because I had expected the worse possible outcome, or maybe because I already poured it all out when I cried before.  

When I came back to my doctor for follow up I already had difficulty breathing for days but I still tried to go to school for our quiz. But when he saw me, he immediately insisted to admit me at the hospital. Apparently, I have a massive pleural effusion on my left lung (2/3 of my left lung is filled with fluid). I was scheduled for chest tube thoracostomy (CTT) insertion the next day to drain the fluid. It was a simple and quick procedure but I had complications after the operation. I was half awake in the recovery room and I could only remember that I kept on coughing and there were a lot people around me and they were in commotion. The enlarging lymph nodes on my neck started compressing my airway that I could no longer breathe. They couldn’t intubate me and they had to do an emergency tracheostomy.

I woke up in the ICU with tubes on my side and a hole on my neck. My doctor said that I went into critical state and they nearly lost me there. They started the chemotherapy immediately. Thank God, I did not experience much the side effects of chemo except for the hair loss. Doctors said it was amazing how I responded dramatically from the chemo because almost all of the enlarged lymph nodes compressing my neck are already gone just days after and I was doing good compared to other patients who have the same case. I stayed at the hospital for 22 days. I already had 2 cycles of chemo out of 8 and I’m doing well now except I already lost my hair which is difficult for me.

I had to withdraw from medicine school for the treatment. When I started in med school, I always prayed that nothing bad will happen that will make me stop from finishing it, like maybe not having enough money for my tuition but I never thought I would be sick like this because I rarely get sick before. I did asked God at one point why now? why now when I finally found something I don’t want to loose... something worth holding on to no matter how difficult it was. But none if these mattered now. God showed me that there are more things to be thankful for. I’m just thankful that I’m still alive right now. During my time at the hospital, I felt all the love and support of my family, friends, classmates, doctors who are mostly my professors also, and even the whole school of medicine. When my classmates visited, the halls of the hospital outside the ICU were filled with med students. All their support and encouragement were overwhelming and heartwarming. That’s why even if there were times that it was hard and pain is sometimes unbearable, it was not hard to see more of what I could be grateful for. I know that God have a great plan for me because I could have just died during that time in the operating room and I’m excited on what God will do in my life. 

I’m back home now just resting, recovering, and trying to gain again some weight so I decided to write again and here’s my journey on fighting lymphoma, living, surviving, and embracing whatever comes ahead.

[icademic]

I do enjoy studying that most amazing organ in the human body— the heart 💓

[askreav-blog]

The Day I Almost Killed a Patient

The Day I Almost Killed a Patient

Every week is Hell Week in medical school, but one particularly stood out for me in Year 2, the first week of June 2022. After being bombarded with quizzes, exams, cases, and research, my classmates and I sat in front of our laptops one humid June afternoon to discuss the final case we had for Pathology. It was a case of a woman in her fifties who presented with pleural effusion and ascites.…

[kind-of-my-diary]

#07

I decided to take a leave of absence (LOA) for my first year of med school.

I didn’t know how to manage my time well and I am guilty of not studying enough for my future patients. I have made so much mistakes and I vow to never repeat them during my second try in first year medical school. I’m really glad my parents understood me. I am just really sorry that I wasted time and resources. I won’t let you down, parents.

[mymedicaldream]

I think this will be one of the hardest things you'll ever do in med school: to keep believing in your dreams when everything seems to go against you. You see, med school has a way of making you doubt yourself, making you ask yourself things like "Is it worth it? Can I really do this? Will I be able to make it?" Med school will strip you of your self-esteem, that confidence you built in your undergrad years will at one point in your med school life become useless. Med school will make you cry, make you feel worthless, torture you physically, mentally, emotionally until nothing's left of you except --- of course, your passion. The reason why you're doing all of this in the first place. Med school will break you, but as long as you don't forget your purpose - your "why"s, you will rise from adversity and you'll make it through. You see, this is how med school will make you strong. This is how med school determines your strong will and determination. Show everyone you have what it takes. Don't give up. Keep going. . . . . . #medicine #medicineph #medstudent #medstudentph #medschool #medschoolph

[epiphanymd]

blue & pink hex codes

[danahmbisyosangdoktora]

People seem to keep on asking if I still want to pursue medicine.

To be honest, I want to. But I don't want my parents to pay for my studies anymore. Working myself made me realize earning money is no joke. We are not as well off as my parents try to provide us. Until now, I can't believe how they were able to send me to school— not just any school but a private and one of the top medical technology schools in the country. (Yes, free promo) I'm so thankful to have been given the chance to experience studying without thinking of anything but acads.

Also, I have a younger sibling and a niece. I feel like I'm robbing them opportunities if I ever insist on having my parents make my dreams come true. All our money will be spent on me again. I don't want that.

Parang ayoko na ulit mag-isa. That's one of the reasons I always tell people. It's true though. I can't believe I was able to live alone for five years (MTLE review included). Being back here in our province makes it hard for me to even think of being away again for several years just to study. I just got back, imagine the days and moments I could've spent with my family if I'll be away again... the thought alone makes me sad. With the recent events, I'm even more convinced to just stay. At least if I were to die, I'm with my family.

Can I handle all the info? Kaya ba ng megabyte brain ko ang terabyte info ng medskul? I'm scared I'd lose hope in the middle of being in it. This was what I realized when I reached the clinical year during undergrad years. The clinical subjects in medical technology were enough to overwhelm me, how much more sa medicine?

Lastly,

It's hard being average. Too average to pass a scholarship with entry quota grades to maintain and too average earner to afford a regular medical school.

Must be nice to reach for your dreams without any problems, noh?

Anyways, if we're lucky enough to survive this pandemic, I hope I get to chance upon an opportunity to realize this seemingly-impossible dream. #Hwaiting!

[nicsstudiess]

Hello February! 💞