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Why we don’t like it when children hit us back
To all the children who have ever been told to “respect” someone that hated them.
March 21, 2023
Even those of us that are disturbed by the thought of how widespread corporal punishment still is in all ranks of society are uncomfortable at the idea of a child defending themself using violence against their oppressors and abusers. A child who hits back proves that the adults “were right all along,” that their violence was justified. Even as they would cheer an adult victim for defending themself fiercely.
Even those “child rights advocates” imagine the right child victim as one who takes it without ever stopping to love “its” owners. Tear-stained and afraid, the child is too innocent to be hit in a guilt-free manner. No one likes to imagine the Brat as Victim—the child who does, according to adultist logic, deserve being hit, because they follow their desires, because they walk the world with their head high, because they talk back, because they are loud, because they are unapologetically here, and resistant to being cast in the role of guest of a world that is just not made for them.
If we are against corporal punishment, the brat is our gotcha, the proof that it is actually not that much of an injustice. The brat unsettles us, so much that the “bad seed” is a stock character in horror, a genre that is much permeated by the adult gaze (defined as “the way children are viewed, represented and portrayed by adults; and finally society’s conception of children and the way this is perpetuated within institutions, and inherent in all interactions with children”), where the adult fear for the subversion of the structures that keep children under control is very much represented.
It might be very well true that the Brat has something unnatural and sinister about them in this world, as they are at constant war with everything that has ever been created, since everything that has been created has been built with the purpose of subjugating them. This is why it feels unnatural to watch a child hitting back instead of cowering. We feel like it’s not right. We feel like history is staring back at us, and all the horror we felt at any rebel and wayward child who has ever lived, we are feeling right now for that reject of the construct of “childhood innocence.” The child who hits back is at such clash with our construction of childhood because we defined violence in all of its forms as the province of the adult, especially the adult in authority.
The adult has an explicit sanction by the state to do violence to the child, while the child has both a social and legal prohibition to even think of defending themself with their fists. Legislation such as “parent-child tort immunity” makes this clear. The adult’s designed place is as the one who hits, and has a right and even an encouragement to do so, the one who acts, as the person. The child’s designed place is as the one who gets hit, and has an obligation to accept that, as the one who suffers acts, as the object. When a child forcibly breaks out of their place, they are reversing the supposed “natural order” in a radical way.
This is why, for the youth liberationist, there should be nothing more beautiful to witness that the child who snaps. We have an unique horror for parricide, and a terrible indifference at the 450 children murdered every year by their parents in just the USA, without even mentioning all the indirect suicides caused by parental abuse. As a Psychology Today article about so-called “parricide” puts it:
Unlike adults who kill their parents, teenagers become parricide offenders when conditions in the home are intolerable but their alternatives are limited. Unlike adults, kids cannot simply leave. The law has made it a crime for young people to run away. Juveniles who commit parricide usually do consider running away, but many do not know any place where they can seek refuge. Those who do run are generally picked up and returned home, or go back on their own: Surviving on the streets is hardly a realistic alternative for youths with meager financial resources, limited education, and few skills.
By far, the severely abused child is the most frequently encountered type of offender. According to Paul Mones, a Los Angeles attorney who specializes in defending adolescent parricide offenders, more than 90 percent have been abused by their parents. In-depth portraits of such youths have frequently shown that they killed because they could no longer tolerate conditions at home. These children were psychologically abused by one or both parents and often suffered physical, sexual, and verbal abuse as well—and witnessed it given to others in the household. They did not typically have histories of severe mental illness or of serious and extensive delinquent behavior. They were not criminally sophisticated. For them, the killings represented an act of desperation—the only way out of a family situation they could no longer endure.
- Heide, Why Kids Kill Parents, 1992.
Despite these being the most frequent conditions of “parricide,” it still brings unique disgust to think about it for most people. The sympathy extended to murdering parents is never extended even to the most desperate child, who chose to kill to not be killed. They chose to stop enduring silently, and that was their greatest crime; that is the crime of the child who hits back. Hell, children aren’t even supposed to talk back. They are not supposed to be anything but grateful for the miserable pieces of space that adults carve out in a world hostile to children for them to live following adult rules. It isn’t rare for children to notice the adult monopoly on violence and force when they interact with figures like teachers, and the way they use words like “respect.” In fact, this social dynamic has been noticed quite often:
Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority” and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person” and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.
(https://soycrates.tumblr.com/post/115633137923/stimmyabby-sometimes-people-use-respect-to-mean)
But it has received almost no condemnation in the public eye. No voices have raised to contrast the adult monopoly on violence towards child bodies and child minds. No voices have raised to praise the child who hits back. Because they do deserve praise. Because the child who sets their foot down and says this belongs to me, even when it’s something like their own body that they are claiming, is committing one of the most serious crimes against adult society, who wants them dispossessed.
Sources:
“The Adult Gaze: a tool of control and oppression,” https://livingwithoutschool.com/2021/07/29/the-adult-gaze-a-tool-of-control-and-oppression
“Filicide,” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filicide
#repost of someone else’s content#medium repost#Alba M.#purity culture#ageism#adultism#youth oppression#childism#child abuse#parental abuse#youth rights#youthlib#youth liberation#parricide#nuclear family abolition#anarchism#note: I would consider reevaluating the demonization of adults who kill their parents too#many victims remain entrapped well into adulthood#there are still a lot of issues of economic dependency and control especially for young adults#and I don’t think such a totalizing power imbalance engendered in childhood is so easily levelled#even if an adult does become financially independent#likewise for adult victims of intimate partner abuse: also structurally made difficult for them to leave#even if not criminalized to the same degree#anti-abuser aktion
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my favourite genre of seventeen is when they're straight up lying
ref:
#quite possibly the funniest still in the entire episode#“he's not that scary” with THREE WHOLE PEOPLE ON THE COUNTER#this is like the funniest episode of gose we've gotten in a while#gose writers understand the series and the medium so much they always know and commit to the funniest bit possible#i could write an essay on the going seventeen horror specials and how the writers subvert/evolve the going original episodes#the exit pass part of the episode was peak btw#i had to cross-reference their outfits + the next few camera angles + voices to figure out who the two crouched in front of jeonghan were#so if that wasn't them. rip.#seventeen#svt#going seventeen#gose#wonwoo#junhui#jeonghan#my art#fanart#art#comic#no watermark it's been 3 months since I've touched this account I forgor#dont repost or dk will start his 5 step donald duck zombie routine and you will not be able to escape.#i also need yall to know. when jun was zombie-talking to the exit pass people. he sounded like an angry bird.
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so apparently this drawing like. got eradicated by the tumblr void because the original post is gone…so here it is again bsisndn💔🙂↕️
#reposting this ig sob#traditional art#utmv#undertale#nightmare sans#error sans#dream sans#undertale aus#dreamtale#ut au#sans aus#bad sanses#dreamtale au#i drew this on sketch paper don’t mind the questionable medium outcome#my art#the sun the moon and the great expanse#art
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Klaine moments by episode | 3.01 The Purple Piano Project
#klaine#kurt hummel#blaine anderson#warbler!blaine#3.01 the purple piano project#klaine moments by episode#it's international coffee day !!#˗ˏˋ☕ˎˊ˗#non fat mocha + medium drip ♡♡♡#my edits#mlmedit#mlmsource#glee#gleeedit#gleesource#tvseries#tvarchive#filmtvdaily#klaine details#please do not repost
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#also thats my ig username#badtober#badtober2024#drawtober#dee doez drawz#sketchbook#fanart#adventure time fanart#adventure time#fiona and cake#fiona and cake fanart#fiona mertens#multi medium#i miss her#also sorry for reposting lololol#artist on tumblr#trans artist
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The Unpublished Ending of The Witcher 3
In 2014 The Witcher 3’s design documents leaked ahead of the game’s publishing. In 2021 the game’s source code and original story drafts escaped.
The Witcher 3 has a slapdash III Act. Battle with the Wild Hunt was supposed to take place in Novigrad. Avallac’h, instead of Eredin, was the “final boss.” Let’s talk about that.
In a follow-up to TW3 Story Leaks I asked for more details on the final twist and got them. I’ll include screenshots of the 2014 documents for correlation and comparison. Keep an eye on the witcher subreddits in February 2025 (current ETA) and on this user’s Nexus page for a compilation of the story changes The Witcher 3 underwent before the 2015 release. (Others have compiled such information in the past.)
Keep an eye on the witcher subreddits in February 2025 (current ETA) and on this user’s Nexus page.
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It’s a public secret that in the course of development, The Witcher 3 changed considerably: CD Projekt Red toned down the maturity of the story, simplifying when they could not decide on their vision, did not wish to risk audience confusion, or could not find proper technical solutions. One of the casualties of the rewrites of The Witcher 3 was the plotline involving the Wild Hunt, the Aen Elle elves, and the wrap-up of the game.
In the finalé, Geralt would get the chance to stop Ciri from going through with a “ritual” in the elven tower on Undvik. He would consequently fight Avallac’h.
Fans have hypothesized about the nature of the final betrayal for years. The infamous double bottom, however, was supposed to be complicated because Avallac’h was supposed to have a good case for the “noble betrayal.” The player got to know his motives and relationship with Ciri much more thoroughly before the III Act.
For starters, UMA was going to be disenchanted in the I Act (q108) during Forefather’s Eve. The curse had two parts: one affecting the body, the other affecting the soul. (The (idea of) curses got reused in the Hearts of Stone DLC for the toad prince.) During Forefather’s Eve the player entered Avallac’h’s mind and witnessed his memories and fears for the future.
The memories included a conversation with Ge’els at Tir ná Lia, Auberon’s funeral, human slaves and least one unicorn, Avallac’h’s life, struggles, fears for the future (a frozen Vizima & Ciri dead), and relationship with Ciri. Valuable background information¹ for understanding CDPR’s interpretation and development of Avallac’h’s character and bond with Ciri — lost. Much to the book readers’ chagrin in particular. It would have made the final twist more difficult for the player. In particular since the betrayal was supposed to be a noble one.
Here is a reference to the “noble betrayal” in the storyboard section (2014 leaks):
Here is what the person analysing the story changes told me when I first inquired about the ending of The Witcher 3 that never was.
Ritual? One that requires a DOUBLE SACRIFICE!? 👀👀 One that requires self-sacrifice from Avallac’h? So. Many. Thoughts!
First, what is the “ritual” for, and what does it entail?
Is the White Frost as in the published TW3 or is the endgame something totally different? Are we still in the “save all worlds from eventual freezing” scenario (a book retcon) or not?
If the “ritual” is played straight then CDPR gave Avallac’h’s character a “noble” but fatalistic interpretation from start to finish.
If the “ritual” is a ruse, a cover for something unknown (a sequel?), then this would dovetail with the “Ciri missing” ending in both the published game and in Andrzej Sapkowski’s books:
Perhaps death is not an inevitability, but abduction and/or permanent or temporary departure from Sapkowski’s Neverland is?
In the published game, the player can hear Ciri’s mumblings abroad the ship on Skellige: “What if tomorrow I will disappear for good? Maybe then no one close to me will have to die anymore.” Aside exposing us to Ciri’s state of mind, it could be the voicelines are remnants of an earlier draft and point toward one possible ending; with Avallac’h “helping” Ciri disappear forever.
Secondly, it really hammers home the narrative of Geralt & Avallac’h competing over whose influence and philosophy on Ciri wins out. The Greater Good or “if this is what it take to save the world, better let it die.” It also underscores what Avallac’h expressed in The Tower of the Swallow, “…someone else will help her now. you cannot be so arrogant to think that the girl’s destiny is exclusively bound to you.”
Thirdly, the double-sacrifice.
Dying together with the last soul anchoring you to your memories of perhaps the happiest (and saddest time) of your life while saving the sentient life of the universe sounds pretty tragic or tragi-romantic: after everything to end it (and the Elder Blood line with it); for the greater good.
Somewhat twistedly this may mirror Lara and Cregennan (died in the name of peace between races; if that was true).
Moreover Ciri — who, as we will learn in a moment, is there willingly actually — AGREES to Avallac’h’s intentions by default. Ciri’s idealism, but also her unwillingness to let others suffer and die in her place when she could do something about is something that the player should realise during the game.
And while Elder Blood may be needed for special feats (though Avallac’h also carries Elder Blood), I would like to think that in case this “ritual” is played straight there may be an element of “in the end, you don’t have to be alone when you go.” Oddly befitting, in my eyes, for an elf associated with the Afterlife.
A lot to think about. But it gets better!
I have taken the liberty of adding who says what as I understand this, since the Polish text is in the impersonal voice.
323576|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Avallac'h) Greets the witcher grimly, he hoped the witcher would not follow them. 323578|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Geralt) Tells him to free Ciri. 323580|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Avallac'h) Replies that Ciri is here of her own free will. 323582|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Ciri) Confirms Avallach's words. (Ciri) Explains to Geralt that they fled Novigrad surreptitiously knowing that Geralt would never agree to Avallach's plan. 323584|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Ciri or Avallac’h explaining) Tells Geralt what his plan is all about. He (Avallac’h) doesn't care about power, he just wants to stop the cataclysm that is the white cold. 323586|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Geralt) Asks what this ritual is about. 323588|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Avallac'h) Says that he must sacrifice his life and Ciri's. Only the elder blood can close the passages between worlds. Geralt’s CHOICE: 323590|00000000|| [DEBUG] Convince Ciri to give up her plan. 323592|00000000|| [DEBUG] Allow the ritual to be completed. Convincing Ciri: 323594|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Geralt) Convinces Ciri that the plan is madness. It's unclear if Avallach is right, and even if he is, the cataclysm could be hundreds of years away. There must be another, better solution. 323596|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Ciri) Allows himself to be convinced by Geralt, apologises to Avallach. 323598|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Avallac'h) States with sadness in his voice that he cannot let them do this. The cause is too important and too much depends on it to squander it in the name of selfish motives. Moving on to the fight. Agreeing to the Ritual: 323600|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Geralt) Agrees sadly that the cause is noble and Ciri has the right to decide her fate. 323602|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Avallac'h) Thanks the witcher. States that he has taught him a great deal about the human race and that he has judged people too hastily in the past. He bids farewell to the witcher. 323604|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Ciri) Bids farewell to Geralt. Combat Dialogue (?): 323607|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Avallac'h) States that he doesn't want to hurt the witcher but will if he has to. 323609|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Geralt) Replies that he could say the same. 323612|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Geralt) Declares that it is not too late to stop this madness. 323614|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Geralt) Replies that in that case Avallach should let them go. 323616|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Avallac'h) States irritably that the witcher is stubborn as all dhoine. 323619|00000000|| [DEBUG] (Avallac'h) Exclaims to the witcher that enough is enough. If the witcher does not come to his senses, Avallach will have to kill him.
What do we learn?
For one, the ritual is still for the retconned White Frost, and it necessitates the closing of passages between worlds. Elder Blood is used to close the passages, implying, perhaps, that the “special individuals” who were able to move freely in the multiverse (e.g. Ciri, the Sages, unicorns) may have invited CDPR’s rendition of the cosmic White Frost in the first place. Further, we can't be certain no deception is involved in the aftermath of the "ritual." (Would Tor Gvalch'ca still serve as a Threshold of Time, would they both still enter it?) Hence there is still some cause to theorize that if Ciri remains missing/presumed dead then she might not actually be dead as some other shenanigans go down off-screen. Finally, this unused ending is wholly about Geralt vs Avallac’h, and their philosophies. The bet boils down to Geralt’s trust or distrust in the sincerity of Avallac’h’s intentions, and to how the player has read the story: is the tale about saving the (impersonal) world/universe or is it about saving (our) beloveds. Which is more important? How broad (in time and space) is your decision scope?
Notably, Ciri’s own choice in this unused ending is entirely subject to the decisions, intuitions, and wants of another (Geralt, the player). If Geralt objects, Ciri changes her mind and aligns with Geralt. If Geralt agrees, Ciri remains in Avallac’h’s sphere of influence (and we can argue about whether this is also her own default position but the point is that functionally Ciri’s fate is being wielded; in contrast to the published game where she enters the Tower no matter what). By default, Ciri and Avallac’h leave Novigrad together and in secret, and Ciri is prepared to sacrifice herself in the Tower. She is not on Undvik against her will. It’s her resolute idealism, amply demonstrated in the books, that the elf is relying on. Avallac’h expresses as much in the published The Witcher 3 too, clashing with Geralt over how well either of them reads Ciri (Geralt says Ciri gets her “fire” from her father, but Avallac’h objects: Emhyr is a pragmatist, Ciri an idealist).
It’s only after Geralt — through his bond with Ciri — tries convincing Ciri to abandon the idea that the “betrayal” comes into play: Avallac’h cannot take this no at this moment for an answer. Geralt interferes with what Ciri herself has already decided (as Geralt notes in case he agrees to the “ritual”). A fate, a Plan, that Avallac’h has worked painstakingly to bring into fruition is to be foiled by a mortal mutant (another echo of Cregennan?). It’s at this stage that Avallac’h is no longer willing to give Ciri a choice. Believing, probably, that Geralt — like Cregennan — is interfering out of pure selfishness; that Geralt’s kind of love, in the grand scheme of things, is selfish.
It’s really interesting how this unused ending can echo the entire Crevan-Lara-Cregennan configuration from the books. The notion of “selfish” and “unselfish” love, for example. In what scale, you might want to ask? Geralt is not wont to believe in prophecies or the ability of individuals to alter the course of history for “its own good”; he will not believe Ciri — a girl who has suffered tremendously and has been the object of everyone else’s desires for power — should have to sacrifice her life for those others. Cregennan probably had, or benefitted from, a similar “follow your heart” mindset. It depends on how you look at it: individual freedom and hope that things will work out anyway, or duty and hope that things will not go badly despite of it. Essentially, the clash is a clash of philosophies for how to deal with prophecies and problems that are bigger than the individual. Who decides? Why them? Are we sure?
Geralt’s viewpoint, among these three characters, is the “normal one.” Avallac’h’s is that of a mystic; he sees time totally. In CDPR’s interpretation, he is also a character who selflessly (?) seeks the Greater Good; his dialogue reflects sadness, reluctance, and even newly-found respect for Geralt and humanity (true, the latter only when Geralt acquiesces). Ciri’s point of view is also that of a mystic and a legend, given both her visions and powers; in this respect, she relates to Avallac’h in a way that Geralt can never understand. But Geralt’s and Ciri’s bond is also something that Avallac’h cannot replicate. And Geralt, who loves Ciri for her own sake alone, somehow loves her selfishly? Well, from Avallac’h’s point of view, yes; in interrupting, Geralt refuses to take a stance on what Avallac’h sees as ultimate Evil. Ciri, famously, always wants to stand against Evil. That’s the Fox’s hook, and it may well be an unintentional one. If the prescient powers of the Aen Saevherne are real then they are unable to close their eyes to things that Geralt can close his eyes to. Consult your Frank Herbert. Therefore Geralt’s love for Ciri, by which all he wishes for her is peace and happiness at last, is blind; blind in how only a parent’s love can be. It reckons with the universe’s unknowns and says, I don’t know, and it reaches for his experiences with men and power and says, I don’t trust them, and so Geralt finds that there must always be another, kinder solution toward the beloved individual. By contrast, if the future can be known and the lives of millions, born and unborn, are set above all, then individual, temporal love pales; no matter how it can hurt or no matter what joy it can bring. A loving act in that case can merely alleviate rather than put a stop to the pain that is seen as inevitable, lest there be even greater pain.
How great a moral duty can even be set on an individual?
I don’t think, however, that Avallac’h was ever intended to be a clear-cut “villain” at the end of The Witcher 3. It does not follow from the way he was written in either the books or the game.
His dialogue is laced with sadness and regret. Not to say that before the III Act the player was meant to get deeper insight into Avallac’h’s reasoning, life, and motives. The choice at the end was supposed to be difficult on account of knowing our opponent better, but also because of knowing Ciri better.
I will say that I like The Witcher 3’s published ending more on account of Ciri’s decision over entering the tower remaining wholly her own. Again, we can argue about the nature of Avallac’h’s influence on her, but if so, then it seems The Witcher 3 currently gives the answer as to what Ciri would decide for: to help. To fight and not run away. Geralt’s success, as a father, is in giving reason for Ciri to return home. No more.
On the other hand, in the published ending, we are not given a real choice as a player to trust Ciri. We are put before the fact that she will do what she will do. We will only have an odd effect on whether or not she returns. In the unpublished version, however, the player has an opportunity to stop Ciri. The player can choose not to trust Ciri’s judgement and character. Consequently the decision to “save her” may actually feel bad and, hence, hit harder, as we intervene and are not allowing Ciri to choose for herself. (You might argue though, that if this was the intended meaning, the writing may have made Ciri protest instead of allowing Geralt to sway her.) It might be that in letting the “ritual” procede, in letting Ciri choose self-sacrifice, the player is asked to accept Ciri staying true to her uncompromising character. In an incredibly painful manner.
Footnotes
¹ The players lost out on background information on the Aen Elle and Eredin in general, since another significant questline that got removed involved Geralt and Avallac’h infiltrating Naglfar in order to convince Caranthir to betray Eredin. Furthermore, the player was supposed to experience Geralt’s time with the Wild Hunt during Geralt’s dream sequences.
#the witcher#the witcher 3#geralt of rivia#ciri#cirilla fiona elen riannon#avallac'h#witcher games#cdpr#cd projekt red#aen elle#wiedźmin#reposted due to changes#also on medium#the witcher 3 leaks
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Follow the source link to 23 gifs of NIKHIL PARMAR in the tv-series Foundation (season 1 / 2021). NIKHIL PARMAR (born 1990) is a British actor of unknown Indian descent, known for his roles in Foundation, the Rig, and Brassic. These gifs were made from scratch, please don’t claim them as your own. This gif pack is free. Trigger warning: guns.
Please consider donating to my kofi!
#my gif to you#poc gif hunt#usermina#fcxdirectory#gif hunt#supportcontentcreators#gifsociety#poc gif pack#nikhil parmar#nikhil parmar gif hunt#nikhil parmar gif pack#gifhunt#gifpack#gif pack#medium gifs#userdevon#usernare#underused fc#underusedfc#//reposting because it didn't show up in the tags
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I see you friend of mine liking ALL of my posts (/poz)
Also because I feel like it *tosses my lovely art on the table*
#bright colors#my art#do not repost#do not steal#reblog if you want#or don't#up to you#atlas talks🧪#old art#mixed medium#i think#eyestrain
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- but I am always swinging at somebody I cannot down -
@cherrifire’s dtiys!! this was so fun i loved making it :]
#cherri dtiys tcw#THIS SONG IS SO MARTYN. WAUH#medium: paper + marker + gel pen !!!!#my art#martyn inthelittlewood#inthelittlewood#itlw#blood tw#3rdlife#3rd life#trafficblr#repost bc the first time i posted it i. a. didnt ID it. and b. it didnt show yp in tags </3#scheduled!! posting on life series friday in tge afternoon<3
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Decided to do something for @tracobuttons’ Sam gathering this year! My first time ever participating in one, so have my Sam from my spirit medium AU :)
#samgathering2023#jacksepticeye#jse#jse community#septiceye sam#septicart#jse fanart#jacksepticart#jse art#pinkibot#fanaticallyperfect#my art#don't steal or repost thank you!#medium au#septic sam#septic eye sam
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Just finished this delightful pangolin for the wonderful @dragons-and-yellow-roses !
As always, $5 from the sale will go to the pangolin crisis fund to help keep these amazingly weird little creatures around
#pangolin#stuffed animals#medium plushie#pink and white#pink#plushies#fleece#sewing#art#artists on tumblr#mine#please don't repost without credit/premission#reblogs are much loved!
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Let’s Talk about Toddlers and Consent.
Nov 6, 2021
My daughter can be very, very affectionate. Tight hugs, big kisses, tickles, holding hands, sitting in my lap, you name it—if this kid feels like cuddling, she wants ALL the cuddles.
But she has also been, from the get-go, very much determined to be in control of how and when that affection happens. Maybe she’s in the middle of something and doesn’t want to be disturbed; maybe she’s feeling overwhelmed and being touched is overstimulating; maybe she just doesn’t feel like hugging or kissing right now. She has absolutely no worry about hurting anyone’s feelings when it comes to that stuff.
The first time she set that boundary verbally, she was barely two. I had asked to tickle her and she had giggled and said yes, but after a minute she grabbed my hand, pushed it away, looked me dead in the eye, and said very firmly, “Mama, STOP.”
And you know how I felt about it?
So. Damn. PROUD.
I have always encouraged that. Whether she says no when I ask, or tells me to stop because she changed her mind after saying yes, I tell her, “Okay, then I won’t hug/kiss/tickle you. Thank you for telling me you don’t want that.”
Now that she’s getting a little older, I routinely ask her: “Who makes the rules about your body?” “Who makes the rules about someone else’s body?” It’s a routine part of our lives at this point, and she knows that she makes the rules for her body and no one else’s, and that she and no one else makes the rules for her own body.
Now, not everyone likes this. Some people have felt deprived of those messy baby kisses, overeager toddler hugs, and now, almost-four-year-old squeezes and hand-holding. They get sad when they have to say goodbye without a hug, or hurt when she spurns their kisses.
To that I say: Suck it up and deal.
She is absolutely not wrong for deciding that affection should be on her own terms, and nothing makes me more upset than when relatives push back against this.
“Don’t you want to give me a hug? I won’t see you again for a while!”
“Aw, you don’t want to give me kisses? Don’t you love me?”
“I’m so sad, can’t I just have one of your big hugs to make me feel better?”
NO.
“It’ll make [person] feel bad if you don’t [perform specific act of physical affection]” is a guilt tactic I’m not okay with using.
Same with “It’s just [type of physical affection], it’s not a big deal.” “Don’t be uptight, it’s just tickling.” “It’s only a hug, it won’t emotionally scar her.”
I will never give my daughter the message that she owes someone physical affection, or should be okay with her boundaries being crossed if it was “not a big deal” or “nothing was meant by it” or “they’re just playing” or whatever.
I know it’s meant innocently. But if you grow up hearing “You can’t say no to being touched if the intentions aren’t bad,” then you eventually internalize that.
They’re “Just Playing,” so you’re a prude if you tell them to stop touching you.
“It’s not even a big deal,” so you’re a bitch if you get mad about being groped.
They “feel like you don’t love them” if you reject their physical advances, so you get guilted into things you don’t feel totally okay with.
Yes, familial and platonic touch are very different from romantic and sexual touch. But the message is the same—“Regardless of whether you want to be touched, these acts of affection are expected from you, and you’re wrong to refuse them.” You don’t think that message gets internalized, and applied to other relationships?
We teach very young children that they don’t have bodily autonomy, and then we’re surprised when they grow up not understanding consent. It has to start young.
It starts with asking permission—“Can I hug you?” “Can I have a kiss?” “Do you want the tickle monster to get you?”
It starts with setting an example on enforcing boundaries—“Mommy needs some space right now, can you please stop climbing on me?” “I don’t really feel like a kiss, I don’t feel good right now. How about a high-five instead?”
Most importantly, it starts with giving your child permission to say no, and always, always respecting that “No.”
My goal is for my daughter to be so accustomed to her “no” being answered with a full stop—no attempts at persuasion, no guilt, no “it’s not a big deal”—that the idea of someone NOT listening to “no” is completely foreign and jarring. I want her to be shocked and appalled at the audacity of anyone who tries to touch her without her permission.
I want her to see persistence without consent as a MASSIVE RED FLAG, and that’s not going to happen if I start off by teaching her as a child that she owes physical affection to people who love her.
I’m trying to teach my daughter that she always, ALWAYS has autonomy over her own body, no matter who she’s with or how much they love her, and that I will always have her back against anyone who dares to disrespect that.
#repost of someone else’s content#Medium repost#parenting#youth rights#youthlib#abuse culture#assault cw
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one in a million when i watch smthing in the horror genre and don't end up disappointed to/and/or pissed off about it so like "also yeah i liked it. ooo" is like relative to that an off the charts rave review of media of the millennium. also i did think about mh a lot along the way so would recommend its affect/effect if you like mh's horror too
#i didn't realize at first that's the director/creator tim's qrting. thought a rando went ''i love mh'' & he went ''& i love smthing else''#saw this a few weeks ago while also like writing or drawing or smthing like oh good plot's beside the point? b/c i'm splitting this focus#even checking in w/recaps was both like oh ok i missed that / didn't realize xyz could be a Thread or something but each of the like three#or four recaps i went over Also saw points differently in terms of even like; who was there or said what lmfao. or noting sm detail at all.#i went ''oh worm?'' at some early shot that may or may not have even gone mentioned by any of them. depending lol. doesn't matter#anyways we don't have time for tags media analysis except that i'll count this as: once again horror for children wins. even tho it's...#not rated? well anyways you know. probably generally not advisable for children as a direct audience lmao. however#like yes as per the premise as a child we've all experienced this [the media] anyways. perturbing summons dreams we've all had em#anyhow fr i'd even struggle to think of horror movies i'd say i mostly liked / would or did rewatch but still wasn't like. i disliked major#elements / choices to the point of being pissed off abt it. so many movies i can't be bothered to watch b/c i already know specifics like#i don't like or respect any of you people. or choices or elements or premises or executions or effects. not even interested fr like lord...#but often what has better odds are mediums that Aren't straightforwardly tv / film. like i'd compare mh to a series of several movies and#that's also imo largely a more apt categorization than saying it's an ARG or smthing but anyways like i'd recommend it to someone sure....#rare to be like yeah a movie was enjoyable. & if you already liked mh then that's a useful reference point here#which like usually i'd use mh as a categorical tag but idk i guess actually it's actively popular nowadays lmfao i really don't know#posting is already exhausting like whew but this one's for whosoever happens to follow me i guess#which is possible? nonzero ppl arrived for mh but unlikely lmfao. but also ppl see it on their own anyways coincidentally.#and you never know who observes the posts like hell yeah for an anon enjoying niche akd theatreposting who is to me ambiently out there#really odd the other day seeing an mh reblog like ''??? huh. i made that eons ago; then'' & people in the tags talking abt some repost like#on the one hand that Original Source post is two layers of deactivated blogs so a repost could be archival. but if they don't say as much#i.e. that it's even from a different source then that's not exactly it then is it. but also that even finding an original document For OP#is like. oh yeah that's me actually. but then knowing & technically saying as much doesn't / didn't actually affect me as that op lol#just kind of archival on both ends then. vs someone else in the tags saying they saw it on fb 9 yrs ago? definitely didn't post it there#my true op experience: keeping it nicheposting & just kind of saying sm shit & maybe some people are out there nodding thoughtfully#oh also in case fyi. that's tim as in actor playing [also tim] in mh. & did some writing for mh & other such behind the scenes efforts also#every time i look at the text in this post i notice a new typo of mine. get it tgoether (organic typo there. so; lol)
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Some different perspective: These remakes are also disrespectful to the medium of live-action movie as well. To quote @patricia-taxxon:
To transcript it here:
patricia-taxxon: live action disney remakes not only perpetuate the idea that animation is primitive/immature & must be updated for a modern/older audience, they make a mockery of live action by presenting it as a colorless tasteless shadow of animation.
patricia-taxxon: live action is beautiful and rich and colorful and can convey things you'd never be able to replicate with animation, animation twitter gets caught up in the disrespect of watching every intelligent aesthetic choice be exchanged for a dogged resolve to make no choice whatsoever & they sometimes act live live action as a medium is somehow the culprit, that animation has a greater capacity for creative vision & that's why the live action remakes suck. no, it's because they were made by demons.
And some unpopular opinion: ALL artistic mediums have infinite expressions. So much so that they could adapt the story from the animated movies just as they could adapt plays, literature, etc..
I also watching this movie titled She is Conann and it has everything what I think live-action movie should be - colorful, imaginative, wild, and magical.
Yes, this is (actually a free-form, no-particularly-faithful) film adaptation of Robert E. Howard's Conan stories. But with mostly-female cast.
What I like about Bertrand Mandico's body of work is that he is bringing back the magical root of cinema since the time of Georges Méliès.
DO YOU BLEED?
#not only is it clearly just a soulless cashgrab but it also feels ridiculously disrespectful to the medium of animation as a whole#repost#reblog#somewhat an unpopular opinion
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Nice article on Medium about 5 Best Places to Read and Upload Fanfictions Online. [Repôst]
5 Best Places to Read and Upload Fanfictions Online | by Md Asifur Rahman | Nov, 2024 | Medium
Archive Of Our Own, SquidgeWorld Archive, Ad Astra, Comic Fanfiction Authors Archive & SuperLove Archive are in the article. 😀 All archives that use the OTW's code.
You can also read it below. On Medium, you have the links to all archives.
5 Best Places to Read and Upload Fanfictions Online
Fanfiction has become a cultural phenomenon, allowing fans to dive deeper into beloved worlds, create new narratives, and connect with like-minded readers and writers. Whether you’re looking to share your latest story or simply want to explore fan-created works, several platforms provide the perfect community for fanfiction enthusiasts. Here, we’ll explore the 5 best places to read and upload fanfictions online, highlighting each platform’s unique features and community atmosphere.
Introduction to Fanfiction Platforms Fanfiction platforms have evolved over the years, offering robust communities where fans can read, write, and discuss their favorite fictional worlds. These platforms not only allow writers to share their stories but also provide a safe space for fans to connect over shared interests. The best fanfiction sites cater to diverse genres and offer features such as tagging, bookmarking, collections, and challenges. In this article, we’ll guide you through the 5 best places to read and upload fanfictions online and what makes each one unique.
Superlove: A Fan-Made Oasis for Creativity
Superlove is a unique fanfiction platform created and managed by a single individual, making it a personal yet well-curated site. The founder of Superlove moderates all content closely, ensuring a safe, friendly, and inclusive space for writers and readers. This site provides a self-hosted alternative for those looking for an environment similar to Archive of Our Own (AO3) but on a smaller, more intimate scale. Superlove’s creator prioritizes the well-being of users, aiming to build a community that feels safe and welcoming for all.
Community Focus: Unlike larger platforms, Superlove emphasizes community well-being, taking action against harassment and bullying. Content Moderation: The platform has strict moderation to ensure that uploaded works align with site rules and community values. Tagging System: Similar to AO3, Superlove allows for intricate tagging, making it easier to find stories that fit your preferences. Whether you’re new to fanfiction or an experienced writer, Superlove offers a unique, tightly-knit community where creativity and safety come first. It’s a great starting point for those who want to test out their writing in a smaller, dedicated fan community.
2. Archive of Our Own: The Gold Standard of Fanfiction
Archive of Our Own, commonly known as AO3, is one of the most respected and popular fanfiction platforms in the world. Managed by the Organization for Transformative Works (OTW), AO3 is a nonprofit initiative created by fans for fans. It provides a noncommercial and nonprofit platform where fanworks of all kinds are archived and celebrated, with an open-source framework that allows the community to contribute to its development.
Legal Protection for Fanworks: AO3 actively defends fan-created content from legal threats and commercialization, preserving the freedom of expression for its users. Inclusive Tagging System: AO3’s extensive tagging and categorization features make it easy to filter by fandom, pairing, and content type. Specialized Projects: Beyond the archive, OTW operates projects such as Fanlore, a wiki preserving the history of fandom, and Open Doors, which protects at-risk fan projects. With its vast database and strong focus on fan rights, AO3 is ideal for both reading and uploading fanfictions across genres and fandoms. The site is ad-free, run entirely by volunteers, and offers an incredible depth of content that fanfiction lovers will appreciate.
3. SquidgeWorld Archive: A Community-Driven Fanfiction Hub
SquidgeWorld Archive, or SqWA, is a platform that offers fans a dynamic environment to create, share, and discuss fanfictions. Known for its robust community features, SqWA allows users to create profiles, join challenges, and interact with each other through comments and bookmarks. It’s a great place for interactive fan engagement, where users can show support for their favorite authors by leaving kudos or joining themed challenges.
User-Driven Features: SqWA’s features include kudos, collections, and challenges that foster a highly interactive environment. Public and Private Content Options: Authors can choose to make their work public or limit it to registered users, offering flexibility in audience reach. Safe Space: The platform takes privacy seriously and advises users to be cautious with personal information. SquidgeWorld Archive is ideal for writers who love connecting with their readers and engaging in community challenges. It’s also perfect for readers looking to explore various fanfictions in a lively, supportive environment.
4. Ad Astra: A Home for Star Trek Fans
Ad Astra is a specialized fanfiction archive dedicated to Star Trek fanfiction. It’s a perfect platform for Trekkies who want to write or read fan-created stories set in the Star Trek universe. Ad Astra has become a welcoming space for Star Trek enthusiasts, providing a comprehensive tagging system and encouraging fan interaction through comments, kudos, and challenges.
Star Trek-Centric: Ad Astra is devoted solely to Star Trek fanfiction, creating a niche community where all content revolves around the franchise. Guidelines for Safe Posting: The platform has detailed posting guidelines, ensuring a safe and respectful environment for all users. Challenges and Events: Ad Astra frequently hosts challenges and events, motivating users to participate actively in the fandom. If you’re a Star Trek fan looking for a focused, respectful, and engaging community to share and discover fanfictions, Ad Astra is the ideal platform. The site’s commitment to maintaining a welcoming environment for Trekkies makes it a unique space among fanfiction platforms.
5. Comics Fanfiction Authors Archive: A Niche for Comic Book Fans
For fans of comic books and graphic novels, the Comics Fanfiction Authors Archive (CFAA) offers a dedicated platform for creating and reading fanfiction. CFAA allows fans of popular comic book series and graphic novels to dive deeper into their favorite characters and universes, fostering a community of writers and readers who share a passion for comics.
Comic-Focused: CFAA is specialized for fanfiction based on comic books, making it a niche platform perfect for comic fans. Creative Flexibility: Authors can create profiles, participate in challenges, and bookmark favorite stories, making CFAA both a creative and engaging platform. Privacy-Conscious: CFAA encourages users to be mindful of the personal information shared, ensuring a safe browsing experience. CFAA stands out among fanfiction platforms as a dedicated space for comic book enthusiasts. If you’re a fan of superheroes, graphic novels, or comic series, CFAA provides a focused environment where you can explore and share stories that expand the worlds of your favorite comic books.
Comparison Table of the 5 Best Places to Read and Upload Fanfictions Online
Platform, Key Features, Specialization, Community Focus
Superlove; Strong content moderation, intimate community; General fanfiction; Safe, personal environment.
Archive of Our Own (AO3); Legal protection, extensive tagging; Multi-fandom fanfiction; Fan rights and freedom.
SquidgeWorld Archive (SqWA); Kudos, challenges, public/private content; General fanfiction; Interactive and supportive.
Ad Astra; Star Trek-only fanfiction, challenges; Star Trek fanfiction; Trekkie-focused.
Comics Fanfiction Authors Archive (CFAA); Comic-centric fanfiction, creative flexibility; Comic book fanfiction; Safe and focused on comics.
FAQs
What is the best site for reading and uploading multi-fandom fanfiction? Archive of Our Own (AO3) is one of the best platforms for multi-fandom fanfiction due to its extensive tagging, open-source framework, and commitment to fan rights.
Is Superlove suitable for beginners in fanfiction writing? Yes, Superlove offers a supportive community with strong moderation, making it a friendly platform for beginners looking to test their writing in a safe environment.
Can I limit who views my fanfictions on these platforms? Yes, platforms like SquidgeWorld Archive and CFAA allow authors to choose between public or limited access for their works, offering more control over audience reach.
Are there any specialized fanfiction sites for Star Trek fans? Yes, Ad Astra is dedicated to Star Trek fanfiction, providing a welcoming community and focused features for Trekkies.
Do these platforms allow users to interact with each other? Most fanfiction platforms, including SquidgeWorld Archive, AO3, and CFAA, offer interaction features like comments, kudos, challenges, and bookmarks.
Is it safe to share personal information on fanfiction sites? It’s best to avoid sharing sensitive personal information on these platforms to maintain privacy and safety. All the mentioned sites advise users to be mindful of what they share.
How does AO3 protect fanworks legally? AO3 is run by the Organization for Transformative Works, which provides legal advocacy to protect fan-created works from commercial exploitation and legal issues.
Can I upload comic-based fanfictions on a specialized site? Yes, Comics Fanfiction Authors Archive (CFAA) is dedicated to comic-based fanfictions, making it a suitable platform for comic book enthusiasts.
These 5 best places to read and upload fanfictions online offer something unique for every fanfiction lover, from intimate communities to expansive multi-fandom archives.
#repost#online article#medium#5 best places to read and upload fanfictions online#ao3#archive of our own#squidgeworld#squidgeworld archive#fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic writing#fanfic upload#ad astra#comic fanfiction authors archive#cfaa#sqwa#superlove#superlove archive#the article talks about it so it makes sense to tag superlove
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What the Mirror Shows
She hated mirrors Not for what it was, of course not But because of what it showed
Mirrors showed what was true Thus, her reflection hid no secrets It showed what she had seen
She saw her reflection glaring, sneering, and snickering at her Bloody and covered in bruises Horrifically marred, almost to the point of death
To put it simply, decay was what she had seen
In every mirror, she had seen decay Seeing that image mock her again and again Yet, she never brought herself to destroy them
The mirrors showed what she wanted to deny And what many others didn't seem to see Mirrors showed the truth
Quietly, she begged them to stop tormenting her
For she didn't want to admit it She didn't want to see it for herself The decay
The mirrors knew that She knew that And she hated the idea of facing it.
#mirrors#implied horror#medium poem#old poem#forgotten poem#written by me#date unknown#the mirror knows your true self#possible repost#free-verse#written on the fly#notebook poem#written 2017 (likely)
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