#meanwhile bruce is about to throw up. what the fuck is that my son tim my son who died tim my son

[sreppub]

For the prompts, tim and/or dick for your reverse robins au? I love your version of that au <3

I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this but Tim was Joker Junior-ed, died killing the Joker, resurrected and League of Shadow-ed, and then broke off to do his own thing until Bruce got lost in time. And even then, he was anonymously pulling strings behind the scenes in the hero/vigilante world, until the finale required his presence.

The last thing Bruce expected was for the universe to be saved from time fuckery by The Red Hood, or for the Red Hood to (impulsively) ask if his old job was open.

[bi-bats]

Imagine that due to Things and Circumstances DC has handed you the power to make 3 things canon for the rest of time and comics writers afterwards will have to actually abide by them!

What would you pick?

Okay after thinking long and hard about this, I have come to my conclusion. Also this is SUCH a good ask holy shit thankyousomuch this was SO fun to think about:

1. Jason cannot compromise his morals or stance on killing or guns.

Reasoning: the writers are using this to get Jason back in the batfam and I hate it. The WHOLE POINT IS THAT BRUCE CARES MORE ABOUT HIS MORALS THAN HIS SON AND I HATE THAT THEY'RE MAKING JASON COMPROMISE SO THAT HE CAN RECEIVE BRUCE'S LOVE. IT'S A BAD MESSAGE. THE POINT IS THAT BRUCE IS CHOOSING HIS MISSION OVER HIS SON AND THAT SUCKS, AND I FUCKING HATE WATCHING WRITERS BE LIKE "WELL HE'S RIGHT SO JASON SHOULD REALIZE THAT SO HE CAN BE A PART OF THE FAMILY AGAIN" LIKE NO THE OTHER POINT IS THAT THEY'RE BOTH RIGHT! THAT'S WHY ITS SO HARD. BRUCE IS RIGHT THAT ONE PERSON SHOULD NOT GET TO BE JUDGE JURY AND EXECUTIONER AND JASON IS RIGHT THAT THE PEOPLE WHOSE LIVES THEY'RE SAVING ARE USING THAT LIFE TO CAUSE MORE HARM ITS. ITS THE POINT. Its the point. And the fact that they're throwing out these two important conversations (bruce allowing his morals to define his love for Jason, which would be an incredible thing for him to work through, and the really legitimate conversation about how there is no right way to do what they're trying to do) because they want Bruce and Jason to hug is SUCH a disservice to BOTH of their characters. Woof sorry I went off about that one

2. They need to age all the young justice characters to college age and they aren't allowed to go back.

Reasoning: What the fuck is even going on with DC rn? The last comics I was reading, Tim was like 18ish, Kon was reading as like. 16 in one issue and early twenties in the other, and Bart was reading like a 17 year old. They're writing Jon as older than both Kon and Bart right now and I just. What the fuck is even going on? I know he was aged up but like. Theyre writing Damian as like 15/16 and Tim is BARELY reading as older than him rn. Meanwhile, they basically have Dick running the Titans like the Justice League. Wally has kids who are heroes.

Young justice should be in their early twenties. College aged kids. It's really frustrating watching them not age up at all while they age up every other generation. Age those kids up and let your teenage characters be Damian’s generation.

3. Batman should not be allowed to show up in more than 18 comics per year if he is not part of that team. (This isn't technically a canon decision, but it is a rule I would impose)

Reasoning: JL, Nightwing, Detective Comics, Batman (obviously), World's Finest - all of those or fine. But shit like the Flash?? WHY ARE YOU HERE? GO HOME!!!

That said, I'm okay with it if like there's a 6 issue arc of the Superman where he's operating in Gotham. That's fine. That makes sense. And those would come out monthly, so they'd be able to do a comic with him once a month for 6 months of the year and twice a month for 6 months. But they need limits on how often they're allowed to have him show up where he doesn't belong because without it they're just dropping him in everything!! I was SHOCKED he wasn't somehow a part of one minute war!! And like, I love the guy but get the hell out of my flash comics okay you DON'T need to be here. Bye boy

Anyways thank you SO MUCH FOR THE ASK THIS WAS SO FUN ILY 💚💚

[introspectivememories]

more details on the au

idk the heroes have become like their own clans in the future and it's like a whole family business at that point.

tim is third in line and he doesn't really mind it, honestly! he wants to become a proper super hero! he wants to help people! he's a good sidekick or whatever.

then one night, he stops a mugging in the marina and the marina is holding their once a month dance night.

and tim who has grown up in this clan, hasn't really ever had fun with the people so he sticks around on the rooftops because, hey, if he can't participate at least he can bask in the joy of these people are radiating

so he sits there and watches the people and then like movie magic the crowd parts and for a few clear moments, he sees this beautiful boy dancing with the children. the boy throws his head back in laughter and tim almost falls off the building. he's gorgeous, tim's in love

tim keeps volunteering to patrol the marina after that. he runs into the boy a few times. he learns the boy's name is bernard ("but you can call me 'bear'," bernard-- bear says with a blinding smile. bear, bear, bear, he could live in that word now.)

he (unwillingly) takes dami once and dami gets his shit rocked by colin. it starts a lifelong obsession for dami.

anyway, they keep meeting up and bear's friend pie, who just got engaged keeps telling him that known protector of the city, red robin, is in love with him

bear thinks pie is stupid. pie thinks bear is being willfully oblivious. obviously, bear thinks, the vigilante must be after smth more important. like his boat! it's a good boat. the bats probably need it. well, sucks for them, bear's not givin up his boat.

one night, rr calls bear and is like "my little brother would like to meet colin again but he cant do that without a chaperone. is it okay if we come over in a week?"

and bear can't say no to colin, so ofc bear says yes. when they meet up, colin and dami run off, leaving rr and bear by themselves, strolling by the gotham river.

"listen," bear says suddenly, "that thing you want..." / "yes?" he asks hopefully. / "i can't give it to you." / "what? why not? at least give it a chance!"

bear's all worked up now, "how can i give you the boat?! it's where me and colin live! i can't give it to you no matter how much you bats need it." / "boat?" he asks bewildered, "why the fuck would i need your boat?" / "what else could you possibly want?"

tim's a little exasperated and just as he opens his mouth bear almost trips into the river and there is no possible day where tim wouldn't save bear, so he grabs bear by the arm and yanks. bear stumbles into his arms and tim presses their foreheads together

"listen," he says as bernard breathes heavily into his ear, "i don't care about the boat, i care about you. i want you, bear. do you want me too?"

bernard grips onto him tightly, "this is going to blow up in our faces, y'know." / "i dont care," he whispers, burying his face into bear's neck, "i just want you."

so it's decided. tim will ask bruce for permission and come back to tell bear the good news. meanwhile, bruce has already set up a really worthwhile engagement with kon-el from the superfam clan, for tim. hal who has been watching tim fall more and more in love is quietly devastated.

tim comes home and bruce tells him the good news, tim is devastated but like the dutiful son he is, he agrees. kon notices his reluctancy and quietly tells his family that he doesn't want to marry tim.

tim takes the chance to ask bruce about bear. predictably, it blows up in his face.

"is this why they backed out of the engagement? cause you're in love with a civilian?" bruce sneers out that last word, tim hates it. / "i love him, isn't that enough?"

"can he ever understand the way we live? the risks we take? the challenges we undergo? civilians are not fit for us." / "what about lois? is she not a civilian? or is it only okay when you guys do it?" / "that was a different time tim. my final answer is no."

and tim has always been a good sidekick, a good son, so he takes this answer and he goes all the way to the marina where he intends to tell bear that he cant do it and that he's sorry.

except when he gets there, the whole marina is in mourning. the funeral being held, mrs. espanaye and cam had been mudered. bear is hugging colin as he weeps and all too suddenly, tim is struck by the fact that he want to be the one to wipe bear's tears away for the rest of his life, he wants to be the one to help bear take care of colin. he wants bear in the morning, he wants bear in the evening, he wants bear for as long as bear would have him.

bear looks up for a moment and tim can read the question in them, did he agree?, tim has never lied to bear and he's not about to start now. he shakes his head 'no' and bear weeps harder. something in him snaps. this is the boy the wants. the only thing he really wants for himself, not rr, but him. fuck everyone else.

he walks across the marina until he reaches bear and colin. wrapping them up in his arms, he hopes his intentions are clear. i'll take care of you, i'll take care of you. maybe bear senses just how shit everything's gone, he keeps weeping

tim comes back home with bear and colin in tow. dami's off in californina, studying with the teen titans. thank god he'll miss this, tim thinks. bruce meets them in the foyer, hal trails behind him face twisted in anger.

"so you've chosen." / "yes," he says simply, because what else is there to say. yes he chose bernard, yes he'll keep choosing bear. / "then leave."

"bruce!" hal exclaims / "no, he's made his bed, now he gets to lie in it. i will not let his civilian become a security risk."

well never let it be said that tim has never been prepared for everything. colin and bear grip onto each hand. bear pulls him into a hug. i told you this'll blow up in our faces. tim grips back harder, i don't care. i just want you.

tim gathers his things and they leave. it's the hardest thing he's ever done. this is all he knows. what will he do now that he's not rr? colin grips the back of his shirt tightly and bear loops their arms together. it doesn't matter, he realizes. they'll figure it out together.

they start a new life in london. he takes up a job in an office and only goes out at night. bear stitches him back together every night. colin enrolls in a public school and bear cries on his first day. one day bear decides he wants to be a chef and starts taking classes in between his shifts down at the dock. it is not the life tim first imagined with bear but he is happy nonetheless. he is content.

fast forward almost a decade. dami is finally back from california and there's a new addition to the family, duke! duke is the clan first and only, daytime hero. dami likes him instantly.

one day duke comes to his room holding a photo. "damian," he says, "can you tell me who this is?" / he's holding a photo they took back when he was 12. dick, jason, tim, and him are eating batburger. bruce smiles gently underneath his cowl. duke points to tim.

"that's tim," he says, "he was my brother." / "oh i'm sorry, i didn't know he-" / "he's not dead," he snaps, "he's just... gone. i came back after my first year in california and tim was just gone. nobody would talk about him, or where he went. he's just gone duke."

"then we should find him!" / "what?" / "if he's not dead, then we should find him and ask why he left!" / "why? he's clearly happy going by the way he's never called once."

"it's just," duke starts nervously, "i've never seen bruce smile like that ever. i wanna meet the guy who was there for that." / "you could ask richard or todd." / "yeah but they're busy! and plus, dami, don't you miss your brother?"

"okay, say we do find him, what if he doesn't want to come back?" /"then at least we tried."

except they hit dead end after dead end. tim is nowhere to be found. and then one day, they overhear green arrow and the flash talking. / "it's such a shame about what happened to red robin. i guess that's what happens when you run off with a-" / "shhh! are you nuts ollie? those kids can never know about this!"

well fuck that, dami think drawing his katana. / "tell me now, or i will run you through." / "dami, what the fuck?! just ask the politely!" / he lowers the katana slightly, "tell me and i will consider not running you through."

well barry and ollie don't particularly want to fight a bat today and if they personally think that the bat is a paranoid old loser who exiled his son for no good reason, then that's between them and god. they spill the whole story. by the end, dami is seriously considering running his father through.

"alright," duke says ever practical, "do you know where he went?" / "nah but maybe if you ask his old team? cassie sandsmark might know where he went."

they find cassie and she does tell them. / "he's in london, last i heard." / "and when was that?" / "when he left." / so off they go to london,

this is all i got, if you've watched k3g you know how this ends. if you haven't watched k3g, please go watch it rn. it is almost 3 1/2 hours long but it is soo much fun that i promise it flies by.

okay since, *checks notes in disbelief*, 25 people asked for it, here is my really niche timbern au. i present to you, my timbern "kabhi kushie kabhi gham" au.

tim is rahul

bear is anjali

duke and dami share rohan's role

colin wilkes is pooja

and last but not least, kon is naina

and for the rest of the cast:

yash raichand is obv bruce

nandini raichand is, i wanna say talia but talia would not but up with any of the bs that happens in this movie, so hal jordan

krish is terry mcginnis

everyone else is not that important

there's more but like it'll be a follow-up post simply because this is getting too long

[robinrequiems]

"Everyone keeps on trying to set us up but we are already secretly dating" clishe as jondami

I know its kinda late but I really love this trope xjkajkajkajka

OO NO. NEVER LATE.

• damian, at 17, has never dated anyone, never danced with anyone at a gala, probably never kissed anyone. his brothers had thought he was aromatic, which was okay!

• until they asked Damian about it:

Damian: ..where would you get that idea? i.. have romantic attractions.

• yeah his brothers were like: WOW! Oh my god! but they have seen how Damian disregards everyone, ignoring everyone and everything

• he only showed feelings to his family, friends, his animals, and jon. jons a separate category, they didn’t know if they were friends/partners/ or enemies sometimes

• but with the way damian smiled with Jon? and how jon hung out with damian? it was perfect!

• kon and kara have both watched as jon declined girls and boys, and basically everyone. he’s been asked out, jons a catch, he’s a sweetheart.. than why isn’t he dating anyone? jons dated people a few years back.. that weird middle school romance with Kathy, and that one week relationship when he was 14, but then everything stopped.

• like jon just no longer tried. they have seen jon laughing at his phone, but they don’t know why. it’s that stupid smile you get when you look at someone you love.

Kon: you aren’t worried about your sons love life?

Clark: ..do you want me to be worried about your love life?

Kon: I’m not— ( oh he thinks of me as his son )

• kon just dropped it, but kara smacked his head because of it.

• but anyways, the batfamily just wanted their little brother to at least go on one date! and the supers didn’t want jon to be alone, jon would be an amazing boyfriend, they knew that

Dick: look, Damian is.. restively calmer with Jon.

Tim: fair, but what if it ruins their friendship they have?

Stephanie: easy answer! we just don’t tell them it’s a date.

• meanwhile, here damian was, laying on jons chest and reading the latest chapter of a manga he just got

Jon: kon and aunt kara have been weird.

Damian: how so?

Jon: dunno, just like.. trying to investigate me. asking me what I like in a person.. it’s weird. it’s like when you tried asking me out

Damian: I didnt try to ask you out! I did!

flashback:

Damian: jonathan- if someone.. what do you.. tolerate in a person?

Jon: what

Damian: what do you like?

Jon: chocolate

Damian: in a person idiot!

Jon: hey don’t insult me): I like people who are.. headstrong, and uhh don’t let people knock them down, but also care for others

Damian: that’s so cliche, i like a cliche idiot who I have no chance with

Jon: what?

Damian: hm?

Jon: what did you say?

Damian: I called you cliche

Jon: okay..

current:

Jon: no you didn’t

Damian: yeah I did!

Jon: you told me you liked me and then pretended like I didn’t hear??

Damian: so

Jon: that wasn’t you asking me out

Damian: I didn’t even ask you out then!

flashback;

Damian: hello.

Jon: hi, you’ve been avoiding me

Damian, throwing a chocolate box at jons head: accept my chocolate

Jon, thankfully, his powers worked and he caught it: whats this for?

Damian: you.

Jon: okay, thanks

Damian, visibly panicking: date. you. me. please ?

Jon: huh-?

Damian: oh god I can’t do this, damnit!

Jon: Damian, breathe

Damian: I can’t, I can’t even ask you out properly!

Jon: oh.. oh.. Damian, Damian, hey, look at me. quit glaring- would you go out with me?

Damian: I was supposed to ask you):

Jon: it was a team effort

present:

Jon: you didn’t ask me out period

Damian: shut up

Jon: but they’re being weird

Damian: mine are too, they asked me if I was aromatic.

Jon: pfft, you’re the biggest romantic out there though!

Damian: i am not!

Jon: with me you are

Damian: no. shut up. but they’re being weird and trying to figure out what’s going on in my life. it’s gross

Jon: pfft

• they sorta just forgot about that. they really shouldn’t have since a month past and they are all celebrating damians birthday ( dunno his birthday, i get mixed results all the time )

• damian is awoken by dick who is forcing him into an outfit. he wanted to sleep all day. he’s uoset

Dick: hey birthday boy, happy 18th, you’re an adult now!

Damian: barely, all I can really do is legally move out.

Dick: hey, hey, don’t be a downer. cmon, everyone is here

Damian: everyone? please say you didn’t throw a party

Dick: I would be a liar then, sorry, lil d, but today’s a big day, okay? I know you hate parties, but you deserve one.

Damian: tt

• and low and behold, the only one down stairs is only jon kent.. damians so confused. and he’s holding flowers. and looking like he wants to sink into the floor. oh Jesus fuckingchrist

Damian: richard-??

Dick: surprise, I’m a liar. you two, are just going to go out for a nice lunch- have fun, if anything happens, call me.

Jon: hey, d…

Damian: um.

• dick just walks away, not before kissing damians head and wishing him another happy birthday.

• even though dick would actually like to spend the day with him, he also just wants to see if Damian and jon could work, but if it doesn’t, that’s okay. all he wants is his brother to be happy. dick does end up nearly having a breakdown in the bathroom though, his Robin had grown up so much, Damian was.. a petulant child when he first got there, and now? he’s a nearly functioning adult. he’s really proud of him okat?

• and dick is having: oh shit I’m old moments. but dicks so happy with the way damian freely smiled when he saw jon, even if he was confused. the Damian from even 5 years ago wouldn’t have done that. ( sorry dick and dami family stuff snuck in )

Damian: ..why the flowers?

Jon: dick gave them to me.. said to give them to you. they knew your favorites..

Damian: huh.. oh. oh no

Jon: huh?

Damian: this is a date

Jon: it is? oh no, I would’ve dress up more-

Damian: no, it was made by.. that. oh

Damian: they set us up

Jon: for what?

Damian: a date, idiot!

Jon: oh..

Damian: damnit.

• they hid their relatiosnsho because it was easier to go out in public, they didn’t want the superhero community to keep them apart during life threatening missions either. ( during life threatening missions, a lot of couples were split up since there would be a conflict of interest and it would cause many risks if someone was constantly worrying over their loved one, you know? granted, some couples are fine, but Damian knew bruce, he knew they would be separated. Bruce also knows damij would give his life for his loved ones. Heretic was an example of that, so he definitely would, Damian knows that he has a point, but he doesn’t want jon to be alone during life threatening stuff )

• and Damian didn’t want to deal with the fact his brothers might feel a little betrayed by the fact he hid for.. 3 years now. oh yeah, they started dating at 15. Damian.. loved his family, but sometimes? they were.. overwhelming. jon was just an escape sometimes, and he didn’t want his family to know that he escapes from his family

Jon: you know.. this wouldn’t happen if we just..

Damian: shut up.

• but dami & jon went out though, they went out for lunch and had a nice time.. minus the paparazzi Damian wanted to murder.

Damian: this is why I don’t want to make us public.

Jon: will we ever be public? it’s now or never, d, i don’t wanna hide us forever.

Damian:

Damian:okay. fuck it.

• and then they kiss. break the internet temporarily. and have to find a way to tell their family.

• thays. gonna be so fun.

[fuckingdeadbutroyal]

Jasonette July- Soulmate AU- Part 5

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 -

“The fuck"

That was NOT what Chat was expecting to happen. Yeah sure he has never experienced a First Meeting before, but he was certain that they didn't usually go down like this.

Chat really wanted to laugh about how they were in fact, literally going down, but thought it to be funnier if the endangered couple would be actually concious to hear it. That's how he found himself, a cat may I add, diving for two sleeping heroes. It was only thanks to his superstrength, that he could lift the gigantic man of a soulmate back to the surface and heave him over one of the upside down boat benches, hoping for it not to break under his and Ladybugs combined weight. Not that the girls weight was of any significance in that equation, with her currently looking as fragile and weak as a corpse. Usually Adrien would never even think of comparing her to anything but beautiful and gracious. Right then and there though, she did not look delicate and fit, did not seem like her outer appearance was just a bluff meant to hide her true skill and strength. No, the heroine looked completely worn out. Chat was debating over taking her to an akuma-shelter and asking for help. If that’s what she looked like with Tikkis’ protection, what would happen if she were to detransform? Chat made sure she was laying down safely before turning his attention to his other rescuee.

The man next to Ladybug looked much healthier in comparison. Somehow he even seemed familiar. Adrien swam around him, trying to decipher who it was he had just saved. He noticed heavy combat boots, a red hood with cut outs on eye-level, a utility belt and several guns. The man's hair was incredibly dark, the blackness only enhanced by the bright grey patch of hair right above his forehead and the cold water dripping down from it. His eyes were closed, an eyebrow slit by a clean white scar and his lips tugged into a small and serene smile.

Adrien had to admit he was pretty good looking. Apart from that, the Cat was weirdly relieved to find him armed. That meant he was capable of protecting his lady instead of Chat. The boy knew that she was capable of protecting herself but he needed that reassurance. His best friend had to be safe, especially in situations as dire as the one they were currently facing.

A few moments had passed with Adrien deep in thought about what to do next and how to act out their plan in case she didn’t wake up in time. The city was quiet, with everyone hiding in their shelters (or simply dead). The akuma was waiting. Everyone felt it’s presence and no one dared disturb it’s silence . Another quiet before the storm. Only it wasn’t actually quiet, not silent at least. Adrien noticed a tiny voice coming from the sleeping mans ear, firmly demanding attention.

---------------------------

“Red Hood are you there?”

“Red Hood I’m sending Batman to get you.”

“Red Hood your heart rate is very low, are you asleep?”

“Batman is almost there, hang o-” “What do you mean “Batman”?!”

Tim jumped. Alfred, who was standing next to him and worriedly observing Jasons unmoving red dot on the screen, only blinked in surprise.

“Who are you? What happened to Red Hood?”, Tims voice was firm, but Alfred saw the hidden fear in his posture. Tim loved his brother dearly and was understandably worried about him. The CEO of Wayne Enterprises didn’t like letting his emotions seep into his work, but he really couldn’t help it, It was a scary situation.

“I am Chat Noir, hero of Paris. I am currently protecting Red Hood and Ladybug. Who am I talking to?”

“Red Robin, from Gotham. Batman is coming to help you. Any precautions he should know about?”

Chat told him everything they knew about the akuma and explained their situation. Tim transfered it to Batman who immediatly ordered every member of the family to move to a shelter each. He claimed for it to be necessary so they could protect the civilians in case of an emergency. Everyone knew though, that he was mostly worried about his childrens safety.

“Chat Noir, are you aware of a place near you, where we could place them to let them recover?”

Chat didn’t like his idea. It was disturbing to say the least and made his skin crawl with unease. But it was close, and it has already paid the price for helping them.

“Yes, but we’ll need a distraction.”

“On it.”

---------------------

Stephanie didn’t like following orders. Especially not such uneffective orders as Batmans. To explain the following operation, there are a few things you need to know: Her bond to Tim constisted of two parts. For one, there was the literal, string like, red bond connecting their hearts. For the other, she could hear everything he heard, only if he happened to keep the link open, of course. 

They needed a distraction and were currently coming up with something loud and ultra visible. Stephanie Browns father was a literal villain, so she knew how to think like one and was fairly certain that neither Hawkmoth nor the akuma would fall for the improvised bullshit Dick and Damian were about to pull off. No, Spoiler did not want to be seen. Aside from scanning the streets for any lost victims, she tried to seek cover in the debris all around them. Steph had a plan. Tim did not approve of it and Batsy hasn’t even heard about it but she honestly just did not give a damn. Stephanie has been handling things on her own for a while now. She was not about to start following orders today, not if she did not agree to their necessity.

Her plan? It was risky, very much so. She could not depend on succeeding, but for once she could allow herself to take the risk without fearing the consequences. If it were to come to the worst case, she could always just hope for the miraculous cure to bring her back to life. Now, when she tried to “not be seen”, that did not apply to the villain they were currently chasing. She had a tracker on herself and was connected to Red Robin but she knew that for once, hiding in plain sight would have worked. “Plain sight” was the akumas weakness. If the Dustybitch were to see her baiting him while walking down the streets, he wouldn’t even spare her a second glance. While she’s “hiding” in it’s dirty habitat though? While she’s pretending to be all alone and vulnerable? If Hawkmoth and the akuma believe that keeping the “tiny blonde girl” hostage could be benefitial and she just walks right into their arms?

It had to work, she had to get closer to the Dirtmonster and gain his attention, even if just for a bit. If she could figure out it’s weakness, get it’s akumatized object to Ladybug or at least inform her about it’s whereabouts while doing so? She’s all for it. They could fix this...no, they would.

-------------------------

A large flying shadow emerged from between the debris. Bruce somehow wished for a mask similar to Jasons. Red Hoods red hood at least covered his mouth and therefore made it easier to breath in the dust. But even as he came out to the river, he still couldn’t allow himself to breathe freely. His son was asleep on the battlefield, with whom Chat Noir claims to be his soulmate being the cause of his situation. Bruce knew Jason had one, a soulmate that is, but he for sure did not expect them to be a french heroine in a red spotted suit.

“Red Robin, is the distraction ready?”

“She... Yes. Wait for my signal.”

-------------------------

Tim was so, so done. The “game” he had formerly enjoyed in his overcaffeinated state, has just taken an unpleasant turn. “Why are you so stubborn? Your plan is foolish, you will die!” “No I won’t.” “Stephanie! Plea-” “Just make sure I don’t sacrifice myself in vain, will you? I am doing the right thing. I can feel it. Trust me.” “It already is in vain! There are other options-”

“I love you.”

And with that she stepped into the abandoned ruin of a building, eyes wide and innocent, voice loud and echoing, calling for Ladybug and Chat Noir. She knew they were on the other end of Paris, the akuma did too. But damn, Hawkmoth could not pass out on such an opportunity. A weak hero as a hostage?

“Let’s end this battle for good.”

-------------------------

Tim was listening in horror. His hand was trembling and even Alfred throwing a blanket over his shoulders did not help. That didn’t stop him from doing his job, though.

He heard the akuma by using Stephanies ears, recognizing him even before she did.

“Now.”

With that, Batman jumped onto the boats, running towards the one he noticed moving, not knowing that his daughters life was depending solely on his success.

A second message went out to Chat Noir. Upon hearing it he grabbed the sleeping beauties and tugged them under water. There he positioned them on his shoulders and used his hands to hold on to his baton so he could use it as a jumpstarter. It expanded both up- and downwards, hitting the ground and catapulting the trio out of the water. While in the air, Chat caught side of the big bat, who was kind of comically standing on a red-spotted boat. “Catch!” he called while locking eyes with him and dropping Ladybug in his arms. Adrien knew that giving him the man was not an option, no matter how strong Batman was. The Cat knew it’s physics and could not trust the vigilante to withstand the impact of catching a body of the same mass as his own, while literally standing on water, without toppling over.

Instead of toppling over from the weight of his son, Bruce caught the petite girl, followed the flying cat back to the shore and into one of the destroyed buildings, a former bakery, it seemed.

----------------------------------

Meanwhile, Stephanie was standing in a cloud of dust, caughing and trying to cover her eyes to stop the dirt from blinding her. She had expected the akuma to attack, but did not think he’d drop to such low methods. He didn’t give her a chance of fighting back, did not face her. Instead he started another earthquake right beneath her feet, just weakened her to near suffocation. 

Tim, with his one hand on his soulmatebond and his eyes on the rescuing mission, listened as the villain grabbed her. “Red, there’s a violet light, he’s still connected”, his soulmate whispered. After that she went completely silent, having finally given in to the akumas torture and lost conciousness. 

----------------------------------

Chat really wanted to close his eyes. Even more so, he really did not want to be in the room of his recently deceased friend Marinette, especially after having been the cause of her and her parents death. They were upstairs when it happened, right where the dustsnakes attack was the most powerful. ‘All because of me’, Adrien thought, ‘all because I called for them from above. I shouldn’t have let them come up the stairs, I should have joined them down in their basement.’

That’s where they were in that moment. In the Dupain-Cheng-Bakeries’ basement. It was a dark, dry and surprisingly clean place. It’s walls were covered in shelves full of cheese, wine and flour, with the middle kept empty. The empty space was being used by four sleepingbags and several full bottles of water laying on the floor. They were probably meant for each one of the family members and a possible plus one. Marinettes soulmate, maybe? One of the sleeping bags was surprisingly big, though it did make sense if you knew about Tom Dupains size. Chat reluctantly placed the man from his shoulder into the sleeping bag, which turned out to be far more difficult than he had expected it to be.

While he was at it, Batman managed to place Ladybug into the one next to his son, and contact Red Robin for an update. Chat detransformed, completely disregarding the fact that his identity was no longer secret and let Plagg fly off to recharge on the endless supply of cheese. Adrien himself chugged down a bottle of water and crawled into the fourth sleeping bag, smelling Marinettes home, curling up into a ball and silently crying himself into an exhausted sleep.

Bruce, who was for once thankful to be the only concious person in the room, slid down the door he had previously barricaded, not holding back his tears. Tim had just told him about Stephanies sacrifice. Sure, she wasn’t dead yet, but she might as well be. Bruce was so tired of loosing his Robins, so tired of losing his family. He couldn’t be tired now, though. He had people to protect and lives to safe. Currently that meant staying in this basement and keeping an eye on those broken heroes.

Chat Noir was laying there in front of him and Bruce was afraid. Afraid for him, afraid of the past he had to live through and afraid of what the future held for him. He was 17, maybe 18. So young, too young to carry such a burden. Bruce Wayne did not understand how two single heroes have managed to deal with this on their own. He knew he that if he were in their place, he would have succumbed to it a long time ago. Though who said they haven’t lost to it aswell?

They really did look broken, Ladybug especially. Bruce noticed her and Jason shivering in unison. Slowly he stood up and walked over to them, carefully lifting the girl and placing her in Jasons much to wide sleeping bag. They immediatly stopped shivering, laying there with the Red Lady safe and secure in Red Hoods arms. He even proceeded to hug her closer, with a smile gracing both their lips.

“Welcome to the family”, Bruce whispered. She was going to fit right in.

---------------------------------

Marinette was in a tower, standing in front of a gigantic panorama window. The city in front of her was all black and blue, shining, illuminating the dark as if it were full of aquamarine stars. But no stars were visible. “How sad”, she thought to herself. “All that sky, all those people, all these lights. But no one sees their home.”

“We build our own home, here on earth.”, a voice behind her made it’s appearance. She wasn’t surprised. He should be here, in her dimension, her world. It felt right. “How could we build a new home with our ancestry staring us down?”, she asked looking down at the city beneath their feet. The cloud they were standing on felt like a cold shower, light and unbinding, but firm. 

“Those are my favourite clouds”

“Cumulonimbus?”

“The mightiest of them all.”

Jason looked up at the stars. “Do you fear them?”

“I use their power.”

Black and blue filled his vision. Her soft skin was white as marble, with bruises forming colorful paintings of history, present, past and future. 

She stood next to a little boy, looking up at him. Her summerdress was so very pink, his hands were so very red, the wheels of the Batmobil were so very black. He lifted the wheel into the air and began soundlessly rolling it away. A black figure illuminated by blue light was watching him. “Hey! What are you looking at, weirdo?”, her tiny voice spoke, filling the air like thunder. Metall flashed behind the tall figures head, hitting and breaking him. He dissolved into bits and pieces of stone, onyx and sapphire glistening in the dark. The boy took her hand and they ran, giggles and huffs filling the silent streets. 

Jason sat with his eyes closed and his back leaning on Marinettes. She was leaning on his back, too. Each others weight was crushing their partner. “They aren’t staring at you.” “Our ancestors?” “They are staring at the ones who tried to hurt you.” Their weight found a balance, he was holding her heart in his hands, lifting her off the ground she was afraid of sinking in. 

Eyes opened, sapphire blue met aquamarine cyan.

“The stars never left.”

Black and Blue and White. 

Bruises and Scars.

Silk hair, Vibrant eyes and Shining hope.

Black. Sleep. Night.

---------------------------------

Jason awoke in the middle of the night. He felt weirdly serene, comfortable. He needed a moment to remember where he was. The memories were coming back slowly, his mind took it’s time emerging from the fog it has been swimming in. The sound of two voices talking next to him startled him, reminding him of every danger he had endured in the past 24 hours. His senses sharpened, he suddenly recognized that the body laying next to him was not his own. It felt weird, he could sense everything she was sensing, after all. Jasons breathing was unusually calm, her breath was a bit too fast for someone who was in deep sleep. They were completly synced. He should be feeling creeped out, like his personal space was being invaded. Jason didn’t though. He liked it. It felt... safe. 

The voices, one of which he now recognized as his fathers, while the other was unusually high, startled him out of his thoughts. Wanting to find the source of the second voice, he reluctantly let the girl next to him go, though they never really lost contact. He sat up, immediatly sensing the seperation and already regretting his decision. She didn’t move in the slightest, as he stood up and walked over to the man who sat there with his back foolishly turned towards the sleeping heroes. Jason didn’t silent his steps, wanting Bruce to hear him. He could’ve used the moment to mess with him, but he didn’t want to wake the parisians behind him, so he painfully discarded the urge. The high voice stopped in it’s speech. Jason still couldn’t see where it was coming from, but Bruce was calm so he trusted it to be safe. His father turned his head, looking up at his son from his seating position, before standing up and pulling him into a firm embrace. Jason was not at all used to physical contact from his father so hee stiffened for a few moments, but when the young adult realised that the man was not about to let go, he relaxed and returned the hug. “Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”, he heard the gruff Batman voice, though he was quite certain it wasn’t intentional, probably just a result of stress and exhaustion. 

“Yes, I’m good. What about you?”

He knew he wasn’t, he could tell just by looking at the unmasked face with those deep bags under his eyes. This man needed some rest.

“Ah, I guess I’m getting old. Time to retire soon, don’t you think?”

A chuckle escaped Jasons throat. Yeah, maybe he should retire too.

“I won’t be able to stay much longer. I need to get back to the team and follow Barbaras traces. She said that Hawkmoth has to be someone from the upper class, since they are the only ones who aren’t hiding in the shelters. And with Spoilers and Reds inside-information we-” “Wait, hold on. How did they get inside?” 

Bruce winced. It was a ridiculously miniscule movement, but Jason still noticed. He waited for the other man to tell him in his own pace. Such patience was unusual for the Red Hood, but he saw how it comforted the older man so he was grateful for his new personality trait. It wasn’t patience per se, he’d rather call it empathy. Something he has almost forgotten since his resurrection in the Lazarus Pits.

“Spoiler she... she offered herself as a distraction so we could get you, Ladybug and Chat Noir to safety. She... baited the akuma and is now being held hostage. Tim can hear what the akuma is doing, now that Stephanie is back to conciousness and keeping us updated.” Batman voice was even, which either meant he was collected or he was in rage. Jason bet it was the second option.

Instead of adressing it though, Red Hood just nodded. He was worried for Stephanie and sorry for Tim, but unlike his father he wasn’t mad. He knew that if he were in her place, he would’ve done the same.

Speaking of the devil, Tim chose that very moment to contact the both of them: “Hood! Glad to see you’re awake, please go back to sleep. Batsy, Orakel is waiting for you. She has coffee, so rise and shine and good luck! I’ve sent you your route. Check those mansions and make sure to download the local roomplans, I’m certain some of them have hidden rooms and dungeons full of dragons they haven’t mentioned in their tax-reports.”

“Red, when was the last time you slept?”

“What, you want me to go to bed? Let Alfred handle the situation? I mean he can do that but who will take care of your fucking Wayne Enterprises while he’s keeping y’all company? Fucking Catwoman? Harley?? The Joker?!? No? Now get your ass up and drink your coffee, we’ve got work to do.”

With that the line went silent. 

Bruce let out a huff, glancing at Jason and the parisian duo.

“He’s right you know, go back to sleep. Ladybug needs your strength just as much as you need hers. Tikki here, promised to keep an eye on you and wake you in case of an emergency.” Before Jason could even ask who he was talking about he noticed a tiny red creature float up from behind his back, munching on a cookie twice her size. They were peering into his very soul with eyes way to terrifying for someone of their mass. The man couldn’t help but compare them to Damian, though the boys deathglare wasn’t even coming close to the sheer power of the creatures gaze.

Suddenly a second, similar creature joined the first ones side. Jason vaguely recognized it looking slightly catlike, which led to the information he was currently bombarded with finally making sense: “You are Ladybugs and Chat Noirs metas.”, he stated, recognition clear in his voice.

“Kwamis, actually, but yes, c’est nous.”, answered the cat-creature, “allow me to introduce myself. My name is Plagg, I am the God of Chaos and Destruction and this-” he lifted his tiny, finlike limb in the direction of the ladybug-themed Kwami, “-is Tikki, the Godess of Luck and Creation.” 

Jason nodded, for whatever reason not feeling surprised, feeling just like Marinette did whenever she picked up a new book and already new it’s contents. Their partner has already implanted the information into the other ones head, all that was left was to refreshen it. “My name is Jason Todd. I am a vigilante from Gotham. I work under the name of Red Hood. We came to help you deal with Hawkmoth, though I’m sure Batman has already told you as much.”, speaking of his boss he turned to look at him. The men wordlessly bid their good-byes. A “please be careful”, was hanging in the air for both to hear. No need for voicing it. As Batman was leaving, Jason turned his gaze back to the two flying creatures in front him. His gaze landed on Tikki specifically. “I’m also sure you already know that as well, but I am Ladybugs soulmate.”

This was the first time he said it out loud. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, letting himself feel the impact of those words. It felt like... vulnerability. But as he opened his eyes again and met the azure eyes of the godess, that feeling shifted into something different. Something better. He felt empowered.

A moment passed, a connection between the two was forming and no-one dared complain (apart from Plagg, who was quietly grumbling about being left out.) Then, the godess’ demeanor changed completely, a smile now visible and a softness Jason wouldn’t have thought were possible redesigning her whole appearance. She flew up to him and, much to Jasons surprise, softly landed in his hair. “I approve.”

Jason let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Now go back to sleep, my chosen is still unstable and you have to help her get back on track. Go, go!”

The man did not dare argue, didn’t even want to, really. So he just made sure the door was properly barricaded, gulped down a bottle of water and layed down next to his soulmate. She immediatly nuzzled herself closer into his embrace, a smile now gracing their lips, again. 

“I could get used to that...”, Jason thought as he drifted back off to sleep.

---------------------------------

The other vigilantes had spent their nights in the shelters and were ready to go out the next day, on their way to handling more damage control. 

The last earthquake has moved the debris a bit, but it hasn’t destroyed any new buildings. The city now consisted of ruins, with only the Eiffeltower, the lower levels of “Le Grand Paris” and a few high security mansions still standing. Only a few of the rich houses, who’s owners could afford the most secure stability precautions for earthquakes the world had to offer, were offering to share with the refugees who had lost their homes. Adrien was ashamed to see that his fathers home did not belong to the chosen few.

One way or another, Chat Noir was about to find out. Having waken up before the others, he decided to use the little time before the realization of Ladybugs plan to make sure there was enough space for every surviver, which mostly meant breaking and entering into the homes of the rich, if they didn’t open the gates after his first time asking. His fathers home he had saved for the end, not certain what to expect and definetly not wanting to deal with possible emotional effects. Adrien didn’t actually know what he was hoping for: for his father to be dead, which would explain that “decision” or for him to be alive and well, which would simply mean that his family was safe and sound.

“I’m coming home...coming home, tell the world I’m coming home...”, his quiet voice echoed through the derserted streets of the City he once loved so dearly.

No tune and not a single lullaby could have prepared him for what he was about to find.

-------------------------

Hey!

So todays chapter is literaly twice as long as the last one, but I could not divide it into two seperate chapters because of the Jasonette percentage the chapter legally has to fullfill. Writing my world down took so long but it was so fun and now i have the build up I wanted “on paper” so I am mostly happy with the outcome. I honestly feared their relationship would be moving too fast but I guess my real life commitment issues did the trick, so HERE WE GOoooo...

Talking about commitment: THANK YOU DEAR MESSAGE LEAVERS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH if it weren’t for you, I probably would have given in to my doubts and stopped writing. You know, fun anxiety stuff. But you make my anxietini evaporini and I (as always) just can’t stress enough how much it means to me.

Also, my taglist has grown! Your existance fills my heart with joy. If you want to be added to that fabulous group of names you are about to read, feel free to message me in any way. I’ll be happy to add you to the circle of the constantly updated \o/

(Also if you want to be removed from the list, please don’t be afraid to ask me, I will not bite and I pinky promise not to cry~ )

Tag List ^^:

@maribat-is-lifeblood @lokilex @amayakans @readingismyoxygen @zalladane @sunspritethedestroyer @toodaloo-kangaroo @purplesundaze @yeet-this-bitch @ratherbereading125 

Thanks for reading ^^

[jasontoddiefor]

Title: Death shall not rest on my doorstep

Summary: Bruce dies and suddenly Gotham, previously claimed by the Omega, is without a ruler. And Jason hadn’t planned to do anything about it, but-

AN: Written for @thursday-batfam-prompts ABO! Because I like non-traditional A/B/O AU’s so this is NOT CREEPY. I repeat: NOTHING CREEPY!

In-between all the vigilante occupied cities, Gotham had always been the odd one out. Not simply because none of its heroes were aliens or meta-humans of any kind, but because it was a claimed territory.

If you passed Gotham city borders, you entered the home of the Bat. It made outsiders vary. They weren’t used to the omnipresent feeling of darkness waiting to wrap them in its shadow. They thought of it as unnatural, gross, and downright frightening. For those who called Gotham home, the Bat’s presence was the sweet reassurance that someone would be there for you at the end of the day. Whether it was to welcome you to the gates of hell or heaven’s feather-light embrace, nobody knew. It was the reason nobody ever truly left Gotham. After years of living under someone’s protection, it was hard to move to another place.

During his training, Jason had spent a couple weeks in Bialya, first tracking down a teacher, then learning under them. While the country wasn’t a place Jason had wanted to spend more time in than necessary, Bialya was also one of the few claimed territories still left in the world. Its ruling Omega Queen Bee couldn’t be further from Bruce, but the weight that came from being in claimed lands had been comforting on Jason’s shoulder.

He had never known what it was like to live in free land. Jason had been a toddler still when Batman had started his crusade. He couldn’t even recall what the city’s scent had been before the Omega had torn through the streets, declaring it his city to nourish and cherish. In the course of one night Gotham’s fate had changed.

And now its direction had turned once more.

Jason knew that there was a difference between death and absence. He was the best example of what either did to you. Absence was breathing in and remembering the taste of something you were missing dearly. Death was defined by taking a breath, choking on glass, and wondering how you could ever lose something as precious as your heart.

Gotham was grieving, had been since Bruce had died - or disappeared if you were to believe the words of an equally destroyed teenager. Jason almost felt sorry for Tim. First, another little Beta disturbed the careful balance of Gotham’s vigilante pack, then their parent and guide died, and finally Dick proved incapable of putting his foot down properly, effectively pushing Tim out.

And meanwhile, Gotham was still in tears. Sure, there was a new Bat on the streets who could hit just as hard as the old one, but in the end, Dick was a Beta and couldn’t claim a territory. It was almost ironic that Crime Alley, Jason’s region, was the most stable one. Its people missed the Bat – How could they not when it had such a much more merciful chokehold than the Red Hood? – but at least its borders were still defined every night.

Jason stretched his arms above his head. It was time to get going, least of all some other second-rate Omega thought he could take what belonged to Jason. As he made his way across the rooftops, Jason stopped once in a while just to turn west and stare. The rest of Gotham whispered sweetly, begging for its Knight in shining armor or, perhaps as Jason used to dream so long ago, for a Robin who had spread his wings.

Bruce gave him a promise ages ago when the streets Jason walked hadn’t run red with his own blood yet.

Nightwing had made his home in Blüdhaven then, barely even a member of their pack, and Batgirl had sought new heights to explore. There had been no other children tearing at Bruce’s cape for attention, whether that was in form of an angry blonde Alpha, another silent Omega or two Beta Robins.

Jason had been a son then, the only other Omega. It had been logical that he’d become the next Bat and inherit Gotham. His eyes had been so wide when Bruce promised him this city, so full of disbelief.

The child that had died had been right to question it. Crime Alley was all of Gotham that ever should belong to Jason, to the Red Hood. The rest was the home of the Bat and a naïve, hopeful Robin dreaming of the future.

Red Hood couldn’t care for a city. His job was to keep it contained.

Jason’s attention spiked when he felt a disturbance two blocks further down. The Bat was halfway across the city, but he could tell that the newest Robin was interrupting on the edge of Jason’s territory. Jason wasn’t really able to pinpoint Damian’s scent. He was a child still, smelling more like a mix of his parents than himself. But Jason was more than familiar what Robin’s scent should be. Before they were even allowed outside, Bruce had taught them how to divide themselves.

This was who you were at home.

(Old books, oil, hot chocolate, lemonade tarts)

This was who the media got to see.

(Ink, money, gold, summer)

And this was who you will be on patrol.

(Hope, streets, laughter, the Bat)

Robin was supposed to be attuned to the Bat. Jason had buried that part of himself deep beneath the anger, blood, birth and decay of the Pit. Damian, however, still smelled like the Bat. Like a Bat who was out of his depth and should have stopped hanging onto Daddy’s legacy when he left this city the first time, but a Bat nevertheless.

What was the little brat doing here? There was no reason-

Oh.

Jason bit on his tongue until it bled. It was a bad habit he hadn’t been able to unlearn even after all the terrible lessons his silence had taught him already.

Someone was trying to lay claim on Gotham, or at least a part of Gotham.

Jason shouldn’t care.

He had his part of town, the rest was up for grabs since Jason distinctly hadn’t claimed it and yet-

It had been supposed to be his years ago. When he still recalled how to not only be the danger waiting to snap your neck but the person you ran to for help. The kids on the street came to him, they recognized his slang and knew he was one of their own – but therein laid the problem. Robin hadn’t been one of them. Robin was theirs, body, soul, mind. If you misbehaved, you’d get hurt, that was given. Batman and Robin wouldn’t be effective if they just gave stern talks. The reassurance that despite everything, you wouldn’t die on the cold and dirty asphalt though, was enough to trust Robin above Red Hood every day. As long as Batman had been there, Jason hadn’t needed anyone to trust him.

But now the difference of Bruce’s disappearance managed to tear a rift the size of the Grand Canyon in-between him and everyone else.

Jason hurried to his bike and raced to Damian. He wanted to see which idiot thought he could trouble the most lethal Robin to date yet and dare to claim his father’s city right in front of him. Jason was halfway there when he recognized the intruder.

Victor Zsasz.

Fuck. Jason hadn’t even known the serial killer had escaped from Arkham.

He was already driving way above the speed limit, the few miles more he pushed for shouldn’t matter. When he arrived at the scene, Jason first scanned the situation. Zsasz was armed, Robin didn’t have his belt, and a couple kids were standing behind Robin’s back. Oh great, civilians. Last thing Jason needed tonight. As soon as he jumped off his bike, even before feet touched the ground, Jason threw a smoke bomb in Zsasz’s direction.

“What the hell-?”

While Zsasz was distracted, Jason ran for Damian’s belt lying on the ground.

“Don’t let anyone ever take this from you,” he hissed as he threw it in Damian’s hands. “You lose the belt, battle’s already looking worse.”

Then Jason turned to the kids. “You, scramble. You don’t want to see this.”

They didn’t have to be told twice and rushed off in the opposite direction, disappearing into another street.

“I had it under control!” Damian lied, so Jason didn’t even bother with a reply.

The smoke cleared up and Zsasz didn’t wait for even a second to jump Jason. The serial killer was dangerous, but he had nothing on the teachers Jason had trained under. Jason grabbed Zsasz’s outstretched arm, breaking his wrist as he took the man’s knife away and used his speed against him to throw him on the ground. He crashed harshly against the asphalt, but that wasn’t enough to stop him from trying to kick Jason’s legs away.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jason could see Damian reaching for his batarangs and no. The last thing he needed was more knives in Zsasz’s reach. Instead, Jason let himself be caught and crashed onto the attacker’s back with his knees.

“So you get out of Arkham and the first thing you do is try to claim Gotham,” Jason said. “You’re not really that stupid, are you?”

Zsasz growled and tried to shake Jason off.

“Nobody’s taken Gotham yet!” Zsasz shouted. “The Bat is dead. Has been for weeks now. We all know it! I’m just the first to try to do something about it.”

“And you think you deserve Gotham? You think you’re strong enough to keep this city under your thumb? Don’t make me laugh.”

Zsasz’s face turned into a torn impression of a snarl and he tried to push himself up again, but Jason stopped him by putting pressure on his broken hand. Zsasz hissed and reached for Jason’s leg with his other hand, digging his nails into the armor.

“Don’t act so high and mighty now, little Red Riding Hood, you didn’t do anything either! You’re weak and scared. Barely brave enough to stick to Crime Alley like the trash you are- urgh.”

Jason dunked Zsasz’s face in the ground, but that didn’t stop him. He just kept talking and talking, cutting into Jason’s skin with his words just as well as he would with a knife.

“All dressed up with a Bat across your chest, but we all know you’re not really a part of their pack. You just take like the rest of us. Take, take, take and cut this city into pieces, but you don’t try to fix anything at all.”

“Shut up.”

He didn’t need to hear it, he didn’t want to listen to it anymore. All Zsasz should do now was keep silent and stay down like the scum he was.

“What? Little red afraid to hear the truth?”

“I said, shut up!”

Zsasz kept grinning despite lying on the ground defeated. Jason only had to put a bullet into his head and it would be all over. It would show him what happened when you messed with the Red Hood and tried to take what didn’t belong to you. Jason should claim Gotham to keep all the monsters away from ever touching this city again. Jason should let them rot in the same depth of anger and decay as him.

Them and the rest of the city.

He couldn’t do that to everyone. The rogues of this city, the ugly creatures of terrible massacres deserved to drown in the worst of Jason’s self. But the kids spraying Batman murals and Robin Rs should grow up in a better place.

“Speechless, Red?”

“You,” Jason said and injected Zsasz’s with a sedative. “Talk too much.”

Slowly he stood up. Tomorrow, maybe, Jason would regret it. The Pit would scream at him, and he’d wake up wondering how he could ever let the broken little Robin spread his wings again. But right now Jason was angry. Gotham was his city. The city they had sweat, bled and died for. The hell would he let anybody else take it from them.

No matter what you did, you couldn’t forget Robin. It was almost a little too easy to open up the cage he’d put the kid in and let hope, laughter and the Bat wash over him, effectively switching places with the scent of the Pit.

Zsasz’s eyes went wide, he looked up to Jason as if he saw a ghost. Jason licked his lips.

“Y-you’re dead!” The man screeched. “The Joker killed you! How is your scent like the dead second’s?”

Jason’s shoulders tremored. He wanted to cry, but instead, a pitiful laugh escaped him. He grinned, bright and just on the edge of unsettling.

“He did,” Jason said. “He took a crowbar to my head and didn’t stop until only heaven could have saved me, and it didn’t care. But do you know who cares? Do you know who wanted me back?”

Zsasz tried to push himself to his feet again, only to stumble and fall again in a fit of hysterics. Jason stepped on the man’s back, pushing him down.

“I said, do you know?”

The man sobbed and shook his head. With his hands, he tried to protect his face. Jason could feel Damian’s eyes on his back. He wondered if the kid had ever gotten to see Bruce like this.

“Gotham did. She called me back to keep this city from falling. So listen well and tell all your buddies: This city is mine. It always was, it always will. The Bat gave it to me and if you want it, feel free to knock on our signal and we will answer.”

“W-we?”

 “The Bat, Robin, me and all your worst nightmares.”

Before Zsasz could say another word or continue with his freak-out, Jason hit him at the back of his neck, knocking him out. Zsasz deserved death. All of Gotham would be better off with him dead in a ditch six-feet-under.

But murder was hardly the first thing Jason should do after taking Gotham, if it was something he could afford to do at all.

In the distance, Jason could already hear the police sirens.

“C’mon, Robin,” Jason told his Robin.

His.

It hadn’t even been minutes and Jason was already getting protective. He could already feel the headache coming. Was this how Bruce had always felt day in and day out? No wonder that Betas were usually the organizers in charge of keeping everything else running and Alphas were sent to defend their land. Jason had a hard time recalling a moment he had ever felt as cheerful and nauseous as right now.

But maybe his suffering would be short. Dick would kill him as soon as he got to them. Even if Jason would still have to walk Gotham’s borders at least once to finalize his claim, but Dick would be able to tell right away that this particular Robin had laid claim on the city.

He’d shout and accuse Jason of trying to be Batman, except Jason really wasn’t. The man he had grown up to be couldn’t be Batman.

But he still remembered how to be Robin. To look like he belonged in any street, crack a joke for the crying children and give them hope, and linger in the shadow of the Bat and support him.

Their city, their pack, didn’t need Red Hood to spread the fear right now. He could do this when their runaway Batgirl returned to be this pack’s Omega.

Right now, though, they only had Jason, and there was a particular responsibility that came from caring for a city. Mainly, that you had to love all of it. Every corner, every flaw.

And Jason could do it.

“Todd, what are you doing!? How dare you put your filthy scent on Father’s city!”

Damian had finally found his voice again it appeared.

“I’m putting a claim on our city. And I smell just like you, brat.”

“This isn’t yours-“

“Then whose is it?” Jason interrupted the squirt. “Zsasz is right. B is dead and everybody knows it. Unless this pack got another member with the ability to claim territory lying around, be my guest and let them take all of Gotham. Until then, Gotham will be dealing with me. Don’t worry, I’ll stick to your rules. Now, are you coming or not?”

Another second passed, then Damian got onto Jason’s bike.

“Did B ever take you ‘round the city and showed you how to do proper claiming?”

Jason could feel Damian shake his head.

“Then I’ll do it. The most important part is the visualization. If you don’t know how your home looks, you can’t draw proper borders. You know how Batman forces you to memorize maps before you go out? Imagine that but a hundred times worse. Every day he’d have me learn each street and then go about practicing it. I swear, the first time I managed to make a part of the Batcave mine, it was the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done.”

They covered all the bridges, kept driving until the sun was rising again and the newspapers began to shred each other apart trying to explain that it was their dear second Robin who had taken over for Batman. Jason enjoyed the silence of the drive. He and Dick would scream at each other long and loud enough once they returned to the Cave.

[bigskydreaming]

Imagine that Dick and Jason liiiiiive to synchronize their Let’s Be Shits schedules just in time for any posh gala the Wayne children are expected to attend.

Some Douchebag is like “So, Richard. What is it you do, these days?”

And Dick just plasters on the most vacuous smile in existence, like the kind that could only be engineered in a lab by combining Brucie with a Colgate commercial for sparkling teeth, special effects included.

And he’s like, “Oh, I’m an instagram model and social influencer.”

And then Jason appears out of nowhere, swaying on his feet and throwing an arm around Dick’s shoulder as if to support himself, hiccuping a little and splashing some of his wine over the edge of his glass (its apple juice, of course).

“So am I,” he says, punctuating with another hiccup. “But only like. Ironically.”

Dick leans in towards the Douchebag as if to confide a secret, as the latter tries to lean away whilst still figuring out what expression his face wants to produce. 

“He keeps saying that like it means something, but I’m not sure it does. I think he saw it on a youtube video and just started copying it. That’s not copyright infringement right? Bruce’ll probably be pissed if he has to pay out another lawsuit for copyright stuff after I just got in trouble for trying to sell tickets to my band’s show without getting permission to use all the songs we did. Like, how was I supposed to know you needed permission to sing songs? Isn’t this, like. America?”

The Douchebag starts stammering and attempting to edge gracefully away - hell, he’ll settle for not gracefully, he really was never even looking for an answer in the first place, just a soundbite he could reenact for his snobby friends later. This was more than he was actually prepared for.

Jason meanwhile surges forward and grabs a hold of Douchebag’s suited arm, acting like he still needs the support.

“Hey. It does so mean something, and I came up with it on my own, I didn’t steal shit. If I was going to steal stuff, I’d go for the silver, not words, how dumb do you think I am? He’s always doing this,” he complains to the Douchebag. 

“Just because I didn’t start school until the sixth grade and had to bribe our little brother to take all my tests for me, he acts like I don’t even know what words mean. But he’s the one who only passed his senior year of high school by getting Playgirl to do a photoshoot of him when he turned eighteen just before finals, and then most of his teachers just made sure he passed so they wouldn’t feel pervy because they’d gone gaga over his photos and then he got held back a year and they had to see him every day and feel sketchy.” 

Dick spreads his arms wide as if an extremely self-explanatory point has just been made.

“Hello? Is that, or is that not, a display of genius?”

“Really, I do have to be going, I think I see my old business partner waving at me from over there - “ the Douchebag says somewhat desperately. 

“Dammit Jay, look what you did.” Dick wails dramatically. He even stomps a foot for good measure. Jason’s struggling not to laugh. “You’re embarrassing us in front of one of Bruce’s guests. Now he thinks we’re low class and its going to be all over the news and this is gonna be the last straw and Bruce’ll get fed up and say we can never go to these things again and its going to be all your fault and none of this would ever happen if you weren’t always like. Ugh. What’s the word.”

The Douchebag is hastily assuring them he doesn’t think they’re embarrassing or low class and he’s not going to tell anyone otherwise, while still trying to pry his jacket sleeve loose from Jason’s iron grip. Jason meanwhile appears oblivious to anything the Douchebag says or does, as he fixates on his brother and starts waving his own arms around dramatically....which sends Douchebag stumbling in the process, all without either brother seeming to notice.

“Well I’m sure I can’t help you, since I don’t know words so good,” Jason hisses equally dramatically. “I’m just a fucking dumbass from the Narrows, isn’t that right. I’m not some fancy circus boy like you were, all I had to practice reading on as a kid was my rap sheet.”

He moves to fling his arms over his head in exasperation, and tears the Douchebag’s suit sleeve with a resounding ripping noise in the process. Douchebag stares at the remains of the jacket that cost several thousand dollars that he doesn’t have, because he’s a pompous jackass who lives beyond his means in an attempt to fund his social ladder climbing expeditions.

“Now look what you did,” Dick cries, flinging his head back as if in total despair, the black locks of his hair flying from side to side in theatrical disarray. “Do you even know how much that poor man’s suit must have cost him? Probably more than my parents’ trailer, I’ll bet you that much.”

“Really, its quite alright,” the Douchebag tries to insist through clenched teeth. It wasn’t, in his eyes, not by a long shot, but he forced himself to remember that for whatever reasons, these two...peasants were still Bruce Wayne’s chosen wards....or well, worse yet...adopted sons. God, but that man’s abyssmal IQ was an absolute plague on Gotham’s high society. “It could have happened to anyone.”

“No, please, don’t try and cover for him, he’ll never learn that way. You must let us pay for the damage, Bruce will just take it out of his allowance, it’ll be fine,” Dick says, patting at the man’s arm feverishly as if he can smooth out the gaping hole left by the flap now hanging limply down the man’s sleeve.

“Oh, I’ll never learn? How about you, destroying Bruce’s grandmother’s antique china at the birthday party you tried to throw for Damian after Bruce specifically asked you not to try and play host anymore?” Jason gets in his brother’s face, liquid sloshing over the side of his erratically swinging glass and in the process splashing all over the back of the Douchebag’s neck.

“I was trying to actually do something nice for someone else, not that you’d know anything about that,” Dick hisses obnoxiously loudly. “How was I supposed to know you weren’t supposed to use steak knives to cut up food on china? Its not like plates come with instruction manuals!”

“Not like you’d know how to read them if they did!”

“Have you never heard of Youtube tutorials?”

“Have you never heard of shut the fuck up, you absolute dillhole?”

“Would both of you stop it? You’re causing a scene!” The two’s younger brother Timothy arrived on the scene, smoothly sliding between them and the ecstatically grateful Douchebag, who backpeddles out of the way at the first available opportunity. Tim throws him an apologetic glance, but the Douchebag barely notes it as he furiously makes for the side entrance as fast as he can, with the less people seeing his disheveled state the better. 

So much for the networking he had planned on doing the rest of the night. He firmly vowed to steer far clear of the eldest two Wayne buffoons at all future events Brucie insisted on inflicting the oafs on the rest of them.

All of which of course means he completely missed the way the brothers’ dramatics hushed into heated whispers upon Tim’s arrival, or the high five Dick and Jason slipped each other discreetly.

“Let’s see Brucie top that,” Jason says smugly.

“Oh god. You’ve finally done it. You’ve turned a charity event into a war games scenario.”

“Oh please. All of that money goes straight into the board of directors’ pockets,” Dick says dismissively. “The only actual money being raised for charity tonight is from the jewelry Selina’s liberating from the guests. And Damian and Cass already called dibs on helping her with that, and Duke’s already doing the scorekeeping for when that inevitably turns into a competition, so we were bored. And left alone to our own devices. So really if anyone’s to blame its everyone but us.”

“Sides, this is a time honored tradition for us,” Jason adds with a smirk. “We call it guerilla class warfare. We’re sleeper agents for the working class, see.”

“You’re the reason the Valentinos never show up to any Wayne Enterprise hosted events anymore, aren’t you?” Tim realizes.

“Some of our best work,” Dick reminisces fondly. Their little brother sighs.

“Please at least tell me you never actually posed for Playgirl.”

Dick shrugs. “Oh, they offered, but even when Bruce and I were at our worst, its not like I ever actually wanted to give him a stroke.”

“Continuity error,” Jason points out smugly. “Total amateur move.”

Dick merely arches a brow. “Not when I can simply claim Bruce must have paid to cover it up for the sake of the family image, and was absolutely furious at my besmirching of the good Wayne family name. And wait a second, weren’t you the one who introduced that into the scene in the first place? I just yes and-ed according to the rules of improv, like the professional that I am.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t sound right,” Jason says, completely unperturbed. Not an ounce of perturbed in sight. He continues on smoothly. “And if Sir Douchely of Douchington actually digs a little deeper and yet can’t seem to find anyone who recalls ever actually seeing this oh so salacious spread?” 

Dick’s shit remains unphased.

“I’ll simply flip the script and release the hounds aka Steph, Harper, Cullen and all three dozen of their twitter handles, wondering all over the Gotham social media highways just why someone of his standing is so intent on tracking down the homoerotic depravities of the eldest Wayne heir, given that despite his unjust leapfrogging up the social ladder, he is still ultimately a....commoner.”

“Ah yes,” Jason nods sagely. “And as all Gothamites know well, if you prick us, we doth not bleed blue. Just a terribly pedestrian red.”

“Oh the humanity,” Dick sighs. He joins his younger brother in nodding the slow, steady head-bob of the intellectually validated, their seeming rivalry melting into sibling synchronicity.

Tim eyes them and shakes his head side to side instead.

“You two disturb me.”

Jason shrugs. “Well, that does make sense. Don’t get me wrong, you’re our little brother and we’re terribly fond of you now, Timmers. But when the revolution comes, we will have to turn on you as well.”

“Fair is fair,” Dick hums in agreement. “We can’t play favorites. That’s how you get an upper class in the first place.”

“Yeah I don’t know what to do with this,” Tim sighs and heads off in search of Steph.

“Just FYI, your girlfriend’s Team Proletariat too. She’s got the T-shirt and everything,” Jason calls after him.

Tim swerves in mid-step and redirects himself towards Kate. At least their cousin slash-aunt-slash-nobody’s-bothered-to-parse-the-actual-relation-there could be counted on to be somewhat normal. Her idea of making a scene was to simply start a brawl, and Tim had overheard Bruce specifically elicit a promise from her earlier in the evening that she would throw no punches or kicks or headbutts or judo throws, nor any manner of actual or improvised weaponry.

[g-on-ef]

Hi! You mentioned in your blog that you needed a distraction and that fic-requesters were free to come your way? If this is convenient, then can I request a damijon fic? One where batfam is overprotective and keeps interrupting the time damian and jon spend together and the two get frustrated? Thanks!

A/N: Of course you can sweetie ^^

So there is no confusion Jon is 14 and Damian is 17

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

He knew it was a mistake to tell Dick that he was dating Jon, he should have listen to his instincts when they told him that it was a bad idea but Jonathan thought he was embarrassed of him because he didn’t want to tell his family about them.

The truth was in the Batfamily you learn that you share everything, the bathroom, food, your dad’s attention; anything you could think of the family shared even when the girls and their personal problems, okay that was mainly Steph but the point is if one had something they had to share with everyone in the family.

So, it was natural that Damian wanted to keep something to himself for as long as he could but Jon wanted everyone to know and Damian just couldn’t say no to those big blue puppy dog eyes so he gave in and told his family.

Of course, the last thing he expected was for Grayson to tell Todd, who told Brown, who told Thomas, who tried to keep it a secret but Drake figured it out himself and told Damian that he was going to need a lot of luck.

Now he understood why he said that.

His worst fear was that he might have to share Jon’s attention with everyone, he never thought that his brothers would do everything they can to keep him from enjoying his time with Jon.

“I guess it could be-”

“Don’t say it,”

“Say what?”

“Don’t say it could be worse because every time you say that something worse happens,”

Jon puffed his cheeks in anger and Damian did not think that was adorable…okay he did but he was not going to say that out loud.

“That’s not true,”

“Our trip to the zoo?”

“Oh, right that was…I mean it wasn’t…okay so it could’ve…”

The look on Damian’s face told Jon that he was right and nothing Jon could say would prove him wrong.

“Shut up,” he said while grabbing a fry and throwing it at Damian, Damian just laughed as he looked around the food court and saw that the close was clear, he then reached for Jon’s hand however, before he could another hand landed on the table making a loud banging noise, poor Jon nearly wet himself at the loud sound that appeared out of nowhere.

“Hey you guys! Tim, Duke, Jay, and I brought you guys some food,”

If Damian had heat vision he would use it to burn Grayson’s smug look off his face right about now.

Meanwhile, Jon was hoping against hope that he didn’t look like he was seconds away from soiling himself.

“I thought I told you Grayson that Jon and I would be getting our own food,”

“True…but since me and your brothers are already here why not get you guys some food,” he said with a huge smile.

Damian wanted to slap that smile off his face.

The rest of the batboys came with Duke giving him an apoligic look, Tim giving him a smug look, and Jason glaring down at the baby supe.

“Ummm…that’s so nice of you Dick,”

“Of course it is, I mean my baby brother is on a date and I really want to make sure you guys have a good time,” he said with a sweet smile, a little to sweet for Damian’s liking.

When Jason placed the food down he also gave Jon a sweet smile.

“I took the liberty of ordering for you hope you don’t mind,”

“N-not at all,” Jon was about to grab his plate before Damian grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Don’t eat that,” was all he said before he gave him his own plate.

“We can share from mine,”

Jon just smiled and didn’t want to admit that he was scared to eat the food Jason got him, mainly because he could smell the spicy condiments coming off of the plate.

Dick and Jason glared at the baby supe while said supe was doing everything not to pay attention to their glares even though it was easier said then done.

Duke and Tim looked at each other before they slapped the back of their brother’s heads.

“Why don’t the two of you go to the arcade while Tim, Jason, Dick, and I finish eating,” Thomas said smiling at the two boys.

He had to admit, Damian and Jon were the cutest thing and while he can somewhat understand Dick’s need to be overprotective with Damian the older boy needed to let go and let him be on his own.

Damian smiled and grabbed Jon’s hand.

“Thomas, you are officially my favorite,” he then pulled Jon away from the mess that was his brothers and headed for the arcade.

“What the fuck Duke?!” Could be heard from the other side of the restaurant and Damian and Jon couldn’t help but laugh.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

He thought of all people Drake would be the most understanding, the one who would let them be and not bother them but he was wrong, he was so wrong.

He turned his gaze to Jon who also looked annoyed and was holding himself back from burning off his brother’s face.

Connor and Tim overheard Jon telling Damian that they should spend some time at the park. Damian agreed and couldn’t wait to spend a nice day out with Jon.

The it was a nice day, the weather wasn’t to hot or cold, not to mention that Alfred prepared them a nice home cook meal, informing the boys that he hopes they have fun.

The plan was simple, eat some food play on the swings-Damian would never admit it to his brothers but he loved the swings they were really fun-and flying kites together. Overall, it was supposed to be a relaxing day…until Drake and the Clone showed up ate their food and asked them what they were doing at the park.

Jon had to bite his tongue to not say anything rude but he was close to snapping and if it weren’t for the fact that he was a little intimated by his big brother he probably would have gone off on him.

“So, where you two planning on flying kites?” Tim asked gesturing to the kites on the floor.

“What do you think?” surprisingly it wasn’t Damian that answered but Jon.

Kon and Tim looked shock for a moment before laughing it off, clearly Damian was rubbing off on Jon.

“Okay right silly question, so what else where you two planning on doing here?”

“Nothing,” the two said simultaneously both wearing matching glares. Tim just shrugged it off and kept eating when neither Tim nor Kon were looking Jon used his ice breath to freeze both their drinks, both of the older boys were shock to see their tongues stuck inside their drinks, Damian was shocked and laughed as he realized that his boyfriend just played a cruel trick on them.

“Wanna go back to my place and play some video games?” Jon asked.

“Sounds like a plan,” 

Jon smirked as he took Damian in his arms princess style and flew off, ignoring the muffle screams from his brother and Tim.

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

It’s been two years since young Masters Wayne and Kent started dating and it still surprised Alfred how overprotective his siblings were of him.

With Jon being 16 and Damian being 19 you would think that his other grandchildren would stop harassing them and leave them be, Jon has proven time and time again that he wasn’t going to leave Damian and Damian continued to show everyone how important Jon was to Damian.

And yet his other grandchildren-minus Duke and Cass, and everyone wonder why those two were his favorites-and Bruce decided to always interrupt Master Kent and Master Wayne’s dates and it was beginning to take a toll of both boys. Not that he blamed them, two years of having older sibling interrupt your date can get to you. It was a miricale  that Damian hasn’t killed any of them.

 Tonight was Jon’s 17th birthday and Damian decided to throw a huge party at Wayne Manor, of course this meant that all the batboys and girls were gonna keep a close eye on Damian and make sure that Jon behaved himself, surprisingly Damian invited every superhero but none of Jon’s or his friends which was weird in their eyes.

“Okay guys it’s almost time for the birthday boy to get here,” Lois said, if Dick didn’t know any better he would’ve assumed that Lois had a mischievous look on her face but dismissed that idea. Lois was an amazing woman who would never do anything to harm anyone right?

An hour into the party and Jon nor Damian were nowhere to be found, even Clark looked surprised before he and Bruce approached Lois, Dick and the rest of his siblings followed close behind them.

“Hey Lois?” Lois turned away from her conversation with Diana to look at her husband, his best friend, and said best friend’s adoptive children.

“Yes?” Lois asked with sickly sweet smile.

“Where are Jon and Damian? I thought you said that Jon would be here soon, so where is he?”

“And Damian?” this time it was Dick Bruce looked at his eldest with a disappointed look for interrupting him.

Lois looked at them before shrugging her shoulders.

“I don’t know, I mean Damian just texted me saying he was on his way but I guess they might have made a stop somewhere in Smallville?”

The two families looked at each other before flying off to Smallville, there was no way their baby was going to lose his virginity to some asshole

(Both families failed to see that they were having similar thoughts)

Meanwhile Lois smirk as she send Talia a quick text

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~

Talia watched as Damian, Jon, Maya, Kathy, and the rest of the tiny heroes danced around having a good time, she felt her phone buzzing in her pocket.

Pulling it out she saw she recieved a message from Lois who let her know that their families are on a wild goose chase and won’t be back home until morning.

Talia laughed as her son’s plan to keep Bruce and Clark occupided worked. 

She looked up to see Damian and Jon kissing one another while everyone else was having fun and not paying attention to the couple since they knew their friends needed some peace.

Talia made a mental note to give Jon his present later, after all a private island where no one, not even Tim Drake himself would find would be the best thing he’ll ever get since he can use it to spend some time with Damian with no interruptions.

[bigskydreaming]

I really do need to read more current DC so I can figure out more of Duke’s dynamics with the other Batbros, because Batbro dynamics are some of the richest and most varied in all of Fictionlandia or whatever the fuck.

I mean, the entire Batfam in general puts the fun in dysfunctional, but the way Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian can swerve in mid-air when shifting gears from “I hate this brother’s guts and literally threatened his life at breakfast and meant it” to “I will fucking end this shitlord for daring to ruffle a single hair on my brother’s head”....its really something.

Like Jason and Damian have both definitely stabbed Tim at times but also at other times they have both been like...competing to see which can throw themselves bodily in front of Tim to act as a human shield for him. All of which should theoretically suggest Jason and Damian have a ton to bond over but actually they hate each other’s guts more than they do anyone else except for when they don’t. And Jason loves to give Damian shit for doting on Big Brother Dick, because Jason thinks Dick is the Worst except for the times when Dick is Jason’s favorite because nobody understands Bruce Is The Worst issues quite like Dick and Jason do. And also, Jason will cut you if you bring this up, but the only reason he became Robin in the first place was because he hero-worshiped Dick-as-Robin every bit as much as Tim hero-worshiped Jason-as-Robin and the only reason Jason ever hates Dick in the first place is when he’s preemptively lashing out so he doesn’t have to angst about Dick not liking him enough.

And Tim also loves to give Damian shit for the same reason except for when someone points out this means Tim and Jason agree on something, which ewwww no, now Tim has to hurl himself off a cliff, which just makes Jason point out uggggh see, you’re copying me again, you’re only doing that because then you’ll die and have to be brought back to life and everyone knows that’s MY thing, see this is why I hate you, you’re such a copycat, you’re always taking my stuff!

Which is usually about where Dick points out you mean the way I definitely never like....gave you permission to use MY codename and costume, it wasn’t Bruce’s to give away which is really why I was so butthurt at the time, like I’m not so insecure I can’t handle Dad adopting another kid EVEN THOUGH HE TOTALLY HADNT EVEN OFFICIALLY ADOPTED ME YET AND ID BEEN HIS KID FOR 10 YEARS BY THAT POINT BUT WHATEVER, but I was only really ticked off cuz he did that AND you started running around in MY uniform with MY name after I got fired from it, so if ANYONE in this family should be griping about someone being a Replacement and a Fake Robin, its ME, but you don’t see me running around shooting my brothers over it.

But then that’s just grounds for Tim - who usually prostates himself at the altar of My Perfect Older Brother Dick Does Nothing Wrong Ever And When Will I Ever Be That Good At Life - to shift gears and be like, so REALLY one could argue that all the shit Jason gave me for being his Replacement was just learned behavior from YOU since we all know he copies everything from you in the first place and then either just denies it or else overcompensates by then doing the most extremely opposite thing he can come up with two seconds later. Way to set a good example, bro. AND ANOTHER THING, really funny how you’re still complaining about Bruce firing you as Robin and making Jason his new Robin when thats the exact same thing as when you fired ME as Robin and made Damian your Robin!

Which gets Jason snarking: “Uh-oh, is Timmy mad because somebody replaced him with a younger brother and new Robin? OH HOW ORIGINAL. SEE? COPY-CAT!”

And then Damian just sniffs haughtily, or maybe its allergies, nobody can ever be sure so its safest to just err on the side of him being an arrogant little shit: “I don’t see why it matters, as I’m the only biological son Father has, and thus his true heir - “

Which never fails to unite Dick, Jason and Tim in shouting “STFU, ADOPTED KIDS ARE JUST AS MUCH REAL KIDS AS BIO KIDS!!!” Even though two seconds later Jason’s like “I mean, not that I’m saying Bruce is my dad. Cuz he’s not.” And Tim’s like “Obviously. And also not saying that we’re even brothers, cuz we’re definitely not.” And Dick meanwhile has morphed back into Oppressively Cheerful and is all “I said what I said. I will make you all admit you love me if its the last thing I do.”

And Cassandra wanders by rolling her eyes like “I can’t believe I’m related to any of you.” And she kicks Bruce’s ass super hard in training later that day and when he asks what the hell was that for, she says (with body language that goes right over his head): “You just couldn’t have more girls, huh? I could’ve had four sisters instead, but nooooooooooooo, you needed a house full of idiot boys. Ugh. I’m gonna go live in Babs’ clocktower with Steph who you should’ve adopted years ago if you had a BRAIN, but also, its too late now, please don’t, I’m pretty sure I’m a lesbian and I love her so now it would be weird.”

Like I said. Fun and interesting dynamics!