#meanwhile I've only heard like 2 of their songs

[scarlettfevor]

I think it's funny when people say that online leftists tending to cannibalize themselves by making people who slightly disagree with them feel like they're no better than conservatives is a new phenomenon. I was watching this video where the op offhandedly mentioned this story of a woman who got kicked out of her feminist group in like, the 80s because she liked the song under my thumb by the rolling stones.

[deathbxnny]

Ik i already sent a request to you but.. once you said you’re also accepting JJK requests. I just had to. I hope you dont mind this

Ok so im not into JJK as much as i am into Genshin and HSR and all but im aware of season 1 plot and some of season 2. But can i request Gojo and Geto with an underclassmen who they have a sibling like relationship die and came back as a curse spirit? (While this request have them together, you can make them seperate if you want)

Here the context:

So the reader is a year below Gojo and Geto. After some time since you guys met, the two of them sees the reader as their cute little sibling and in return the reader sees them as their cool big brothers. All was fine until the reader died from a mission. How did the reader die? They dont know. Both of them werent told how the reader died but if there’s one thing they were sure of, the reader wasnt killed by Jujutsu. Because what other explanations do they have when they see you come back as a vengeful spirit? A vengeful spirit they need to take out.

So in the JJK wiki, it is said that “Sorcerers must also be killed with Jujutsu or they can become a vengeful cursed spirit after death” Which makes a very good angsty sceanrio dont you think?

Hope you have a great day/night!

- Flower Anon 🌸

Hey there, Flower anon!! I absolutely love this idea, and thank you very much for the tasty angst. I've been itching to write some jjk angst, haha. Also, regarding your other request for the second part to the Lyney x reader one-shot, just know that I will make it in a separate post to your ask due to formatting issues! But either way, I hope you meanwhile enjoy this!<33

Content: Heavy angst, platonic relationships, Geto is deeply depressed, Gojo is in denial, hurt/no comfort, reader is a year younger than both of them, vague descriptions of readers death, mentions of blood/injuries, vague descriptions of jjk canon violence, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

Inspired by the song "Death" by Melanie Martinez

((Not fully proofread))

Back from the dead.

At first, you appeared in the flickers of lights, in the corners of mirrors, in the shadows casted by trees and their own bodies, in reflections of windows and water, in gruesome, awful dreams.

And then you began being there in larger ways. You'd stand behind them, follow them around, no matter where they went, no matter where they looked, you were right there.

It was easy to ignore you at first, act like you didn't exist, like you were just a part of their traumatised, exhausted imagination. When was the last time they had slept properly? Perhaps the day before your funeral. Your face was plastered everywhere, a smile gracing it like it always did, an excited, pure one for a sorcerer. But there was nothing to be excited about anymore.

Maybe that's why you looked so sad now, as you stood in front of them in this classroom that was reserved for people a year older than you'll ever be.

Suguru wondered if you felt guilty for taking the color of their world away with you when you died.

"You know... denial never suited you, 'toru." You whispered quietly to Satoru, breaking this suffocating silence at last. Your body leaned against the desk a row in front of him. It all felt so casual, as though everything was perfectly fine. You never left. You simply came back a little different.

This was the first thing you've ever said since you've come back, Suguru then solemnly realised in his depressive haze. He nearly didn't hear you and wished he hadn't either. Your voice sounded distorted, like it didn't belong to you at all. But it was still you... wasn't it?

The only visible sign that Satoru meanwhile had even heard you was in a stutter of his hands that in turn messed up his text to Shoko again. He took a deep breath and exhaled shakily. What was he even texting her for again? Maybe for help? For a way out? "I'm seeing things again, Shoko. They're talking now." That's what your colorless eyes could read off his broken phone screen, which made you frown a little. You knew he'd never want to upset you. But he never wanted to face you again. Not like this.

It was so unlike him too, wasn't it? He hadn't been the same for a while now.

It was late in the afternoon by then, the orange hue filtering into the empty classroom through the blinds. An awfully nostalgic feeling that was now filled with tense bitterness. A past filled with laughter and joking now seemingly disappearing into the smoke of the burning incense sticks nearby.

Neither of them had said a single word for the entire duration of your little "hang out" session. Suguru simply leaned his head against his palm, gaze turned to a far away point in the darkening horizon outside, as the sun bid it's last warm goodbye. He took a deep breath, words shaky and filled with a deep exhaustion, not even his dear best friend could ever come close to feeling.

"Let him be... he'll come around eventually." The blackhaired boy muttered back to you, not bothering to look at your bloody, dead form anymore. He had come to terms with it a while ago. Or at least, visibly, he has.

Gojo just took a little longer in accepting your death, is all. Neither of them really knew who was handling the situation worse.

"Who are you talking to, Suguru?" There it was again, the odd denial the white-haired teen had drowned himself in. You never thought that he'd be the one to end up like this. You figured that Suguru would've had it harder, but perhaps this was just one of the many new things you've learned as a spirit. "Stop it, Satoru... you're not helping with any of this. It's just... making things worse." Gojo's teasing smile twitched, his head turning to look at his friend before he seemed to slowly deflate into his seat. You probably could only imagine how red and puffy his eyes were behind the sunglasses he refused to take off nowadays.

But in a way, you must've also understood why he was this way. How couldn't you?

Your death was untimely, unexplainable. No one knew what happened, and your body was never found either. One day, you were absolutely excited about going on a mission with your two favorite seniors, four hours later, you were missing, and a week later, you were declared as dead. The only proof they really had was a piece of your bloody uniform floating in a river nearby where the mission was supposed to take place. Other than that, there was no trace of anything else regarding you.

Suguru wished they would've at least had something to bury you with. Your casket was empty. And Satoru was ashamed to admit that he dared open the lid in a desperate attempt to see if you were in there after all. Just hiding, waiting to jump out and scare him. But seeing nothing made him break.

Everything got worse when you reappeared as this, however. A vengeful spirit that simply followed the both of them everywhere. You were relentless. And yet, neither of them could ever find a single trace of anger on you. Their guilt was heavy enough to make up for it, though.

It didn't help that Satoru refused to talk about it, even when they knew what they had to do. You only ever appeared around them, and both of them had made the unspoken decision to deal with you themselves. They felt like they had caused your death indirectly. The what if's kept piling up higher and higher until it eventually brought them here.

They thought that they were finally ready to move on, but oh, how wrong they were. It was so hard to see you as a simple spirit to exercise when you still looked like yourself most of the time. It just got bad when you looked dead. They couldn't hide behind their excuses and delusions when you looked like this.

Time ticked on and the silence was deafening again. You leaned in close to Satoru, glossy eyes staring into his side profile. "Stop ignoring me. I know what you're here for." You hummed, face devoid of any emotion. But the constant dripping of the blood that poured out of your nose and lips made Gojo close his eyes for a second longer and gulp down the painful lump in his throat. It was childish, absolutely stupid. But maybe... if he acted like you weren't there like always... then you wouldn't be. You were just a hallucination, surely. Neither of them had slept or eaten properly in months. He just had to pray that you'll go away, finally find the peace you were looking for.

But when he opened his eyes and you were still there, he just bit his lip. He couldn't take any of this anymore.

"Tell them to go away, Suguru. Please." "So you're finally done pretending now?" The blackhaired male asked, glancing back at his friend for the first time in hours. The great Satoru Gojo. The strongest of them all. Now reduced to nothing more than a miserable teen at your death. It would've been funny if he wasn't actually losing it right now.

Suguru shook his head at the lack of response before getting out of his chair and standing over the white-haired sorcerer. "Let's go outside." He said, not waiting for the other to agree before pushing past you. Or rather through you. He shoved his hands into his pockets to hide this really was for him. As expected, however, he heard Satoru's footsteps following behind him with ease. Typical.

The walk was silent and rather aimless. Neither of them knew where they were going. But their subconsciousness seemed to know. Suguru's body felt heavy, like he was dragging and fighting himself with every next step he took. He felt uneven and unbalanced. Like he'll fall over and break apart at any moment, and he doubted Satoru would be able to glue him together with shaky hands and teary eyes.

Geto pulled a hand through his black hair, strands unkempt and messy as they fell down hus shoulders. He caught a glance at his face in a mirror, the dark circles, even darker eyes staring back at him near accusingely. The anger and festering hate hidden under a thick layer of sadness.

"They weren't killed by a sorcerer." He suddenly said when they arrived at the schools courtyard. Satoru glanced at him, frowning a little. "Why does it matter now?" He asked, yet his best friend didn't bother answering. Why should he bother when the white-haired male was unwilling to wake up to reality. Instead, he stared at the Sakura trees filling the area, the ones you loved the most. And as expected, you stood right under them.

Your hands were clasped behind your back, smile so gentle and serene, that it made it look like you were simply waiting on them as always. And in a way, you were indeed doing so. Geto was thankful that your consciousness was strong enough for you to realise what was going to happen next. "Can you do it, Satoru?" He whispered, voice so soft, that it made Gojo actually consider it for a moment. But despite always having prided himself in being the strongest, he just stood still. Suguru couldn't help but smile tiredly at him. Perhaps the other boy would be happy about this if his smile didn't seem so bitter and exhausted. Like it took up all of his energy to force the corner of his lips to go up.

"I think they are the one thing I could never exorcize." "I'm glad you're being honest... I can't do it either." The two boys approached the empty bench next to your form before simply sitting down. There was a large gap between them, one reserved for you.

Your smile stretched wider as you took their silent offer of defeat and took a seat as well.

Gojo tensed when you leaned your head against his shoulder, a familiar melody leaving your lips. Suguru leaned his arms on his knees and listened to you, eyes closing with a tired sigh. Perhaps playing pretend was easier. Perhaps you were never meant to leave them in the first place. Maybe one day someone would free them from you, someone who was stronger, someone who wasn't ever going to be them.

You were back from the dead, and they figured it was better than you having left them for good.

If only they could ignore the mangled state of your body too.

Alright, I'm sorry this took so long! I also don't think it's that good, but I hope you like it anyway, Flower Anon! I've been super busy with work and everything else going on in my life, so I'm glad to post anything at this point. Anyhow, thank you again for this great request!<33

[innxrvision]

So long - pt. 1 𒂭

part 1 of 3 ------------𖦹 tags: james hetfield x reader, fluff, smut, best friends to lovers, bet, 80s james, a little angst if you squint, more tags to come in future parts ♱ a/n: i have no idea of what i'm doing actually. i never wrote anything and english is not my first language so there'll be probably a lot of mistakes, but after reading too many fanfics I simply ran out of content and also the community has been a bit dead for awhile so here's my humble contribuition to the cause (the cause being thirsting over james hetfield). anyway, this was supposed to have only one part but i felt it got too long so i chopped in half, i'll post pt 2 as soon as i can! meanwhile, i would be very happy with any criticisms or suggestions. if you find any language mistakes please please correct me, i'll be very thankful! also, i have no idea of how to work this app out 'cause all i've been doing all my life is liking and reblogging stuff so bear with me please!!

𖦹 part 1 𖦹 part 2 𖦹 part 3

You knew you fucked up by showing up late to their gig, but in your defense, it wasn't your fault that your boss choose this day of all days to get you stuck at work.

"Well, at least I showed up!" you thought to yourself, but the cold look James gave you when he finally spotted you at the crowd wasn't so forgiving.

After the last song, you rushed to the backstage, wanting to say hi to your friends. The place they were playing today was pretty small, but the crowd was buzzing with energy and the entire show was great.

Before even entering the door that led to the small and thrashed dressing room you could hear the excited voices of the four guys. First, it was Kirk who embraced you in a thrilled and sweaty hug, then Lars, and finally Cliff. You chatted briefly with them before finally going towards James, who was pretending to not notice you while fixing something in his guitar.

You could only see his back and the messy and wet blonde hair covering his lowered face. You knew he was mad, of course, he was your best friend for years and a look was all that it took for you to get how bad the situation was, but at the same time, you couldn't understand why be so mad if, in the end, you showed up anyway.

"Hey, don't be mad at me..." You said softly, touching his shoulder to make him recognize your presence.

In response, James just rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, leaning his guitar against the wall.

"You said you would be here on time!" He complained, his expression already revealing that there was nothing you could say to convince him, but your stubbornness wouldn't let it go, of course.

"It's not my fault! I got stuck at work... What did you want me to do? I tried my best, alright?" You wanted to sound a bit more gentle, but being tired after a long shift didn't help your nerves much. You sighed, already slightly annoyed.

James crossed his arms, his gaze falling hard on you as he spoke.

"You make it seem like you don't have time for your best friend."

"Don't be unfair, I always come to your gigs and always hang out with you!" You gestured frustrated. "Sorry that I've got stuck at work today, it's not like I wanted to be late!" It was hard being reasonable when both of you were tired and stressed and you did your best to not raise your voice too much, as it could worsen things even more.

You looked around the room, checking to see if the other boys were paying any attention to your little argument, but thankfully Lars had already left the room and Kirk and Cliff seemed too absorbed in discussing something that you assumed related to the show.

"Maybe if you got the balls to look for a better job instead of working at that cheap dinner you would've showed up on time today!"

Your mouth opened in shock as you heard James' harsh words, it was clear that he was already worked up and your expression instantly turned cold.

"Now you went too far." Your voice carried a mixture of sadness and anger that made James regret his words quicker than he thought he would. "Sorry that my job isn't good enough for you, rockstar, but I can't afford to go around playing music just like you do, I actually need the money." With that you turned your back, not interested in hearing anything from him anymore, and exited the room, not even bothering to say bye to Cliff and Kirk who now looked at each other in confusion. It didn't help that now you also felt embarrassed that they heard your stupid argument.

"Wait! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that!" You could hear James' voice saying from inside the room, his anger now turning to guilt as he realized the impact of his words.

You just kept walking until you reached out outside of the building and stopped by a wall, resting your back against the cold concrete and searching up your pockets for your pack of cigarettes and your lighter.

With the cold breeze of the night, it took a few tries for you to successfully light up your cigarette and when you took the first drag you heard some footsteps approaching. You refused to look toward the sound, just kept doing your own thing and looking down until you saw a pair of dirty white sneakers stop right next to you.

James took a deep breath, hesitating for a moment before finally speaking, his raspy voice gentle and sincere.

"I'm sorry about what I said inside, I didn't mean any of it, I was just angry 'cause I really wanted you to be there for me tonight... You're my best friend and I care about you."

"It doesn't seem like you care much." You scoffed in response.

"I know I messed up and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that to you." You heard him sigh and pause for a moment, probably searching for the right words. "You're not just any friend to me, you're my best friend." He added.

"Then why did you say that?" You asked crossing your arms, the cigarette still dangling between your fingers. "If I'm not good enough for your 'metal band lifestyle' then whatever, just don't go around saying I'm what I do with my life is not worthy." You sighed and took a drag before lowering your voice, your tone slightly more gentle now. "I work hard, y'know? Sorry that I was late once, at least I came!"

He took a deep breath once again and ran his hand through his hair, you took this opportunity to gaze at him for a moment. You knew your anger couldn't last much longer, it has always been like that.

"It's not about my lifestyle and it's not about your job, I was just being a jerk. I got too caught up in my anger and..." He trailed away. "C'mon... I'm really sorry."

You looked away and took another drag, you knew you wouldn't hold a grudge for that.

"Whatever." You muttered. "It was a good show." You added after a moment of silence, it was your peace offer.

Even without looking at him, you could sense his smile opening up, whenever he smiled the whole place would light up.

"Thanks." He said. "Can we just forget about everything that happened earlier and go grab a drink or something? I'll pay." He sounded hopeful again and you knew this was his way of making things right with you.

You nodded and flicked your cigarette off, stepping on it.

"Sure, let's go."

There was a faint smile on your lips and in response to that James smiled even bigger, he put his arm around your shoulder, guiding you towards a nearby bar.

"Great! Let's have some fun just you and me and make up for everything that happened tonight!"

"What about the equipment and the guys?" You ask, suddenly remembering their existence.

"Don't worry, Cliff's gonna get my stuff and bring it over to his place, I told 'em I would probably not come back." He answered, entirely back to the laid-back personality you were used to.

"Right." You hummed in response, just letting him guide you as he started chatting about today's crowd excitedly.

[merp-blerp]

Part 2 of A Gaylor interpretation of "The Prophecy"

I had more Thoughts™ that I initially left out for length, but I'd like to elaborate in sections. Special thanks to @mamataylovesrubbi for being so friendly. This community is so lovely.

TW: Brief talk of self-destructive behavior and suicide near the end.

Part 1 here

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

Artemis/Diana

Some things about Artemis/Diana that I left out of part one I left out were that 1) Artemis is also the goddess of the hunt and animals. I think that tidbit adds to the fable connection, as fables are often stories about animals. When it comes to the hunt, songs like WAOLOM and The Albotros possibly being about Taylor planning revenge on her closet-ers really scream huntress. Artemis can also become a deer, a somewhat surprisingly non-vicious animal for a huntress, if she pleases. "I've been the Archer / I've been the prey." I think this could portray Taylor's strengths and weaknesses. 2) Artemis is a virginal goddess, never having any male lovers in her stories. This doesn't necessarily make Artemis a sapphic goddess, even though I've seen that interpretation, but it's pretty telling that Taylor would align so closely to a goddess with that trait. 3) Artemis/Diana was also the goddess of the moon (somewhat, it's a bit complicated, but that's Greek mythology for you). Fits the themes of Midnights, with Taylor being Midnight (Rain) and her lover being Sunshine. Though that probably shouldn't be taken too literally, as Apollo, god of the sun, is Artemis's twin brother. Trust him like a brother, yeah—

2. Vocalizing

Taylor's vocalizing after "...tell me it'll be okay" reminds me vaguely of the vocalizing in "My Tears Ricochet", a song, like this album, alludes to Taylor dying.

3. "But I looked to the sky" and "I've been on my knees"

With all the talk of sky, I wonder if maybe "Bigger Than The Whole Sky" might be about failed coming outs. I don't know if this is something others thought have already (probably), but I never thought of it before. Meanwhile, the repeat of being on her knees makes me think of "Would've, Could've, Should've". I've mentioned before that I'm open to that song being actually about JM because it wouldn't surprise me if she tried dating dudes in some way early on in her career, whatever that would mean. However, I'm open to alternatives too. With my analysis of Taylor's Eve being bitten by the serpent/Devil, maybe the serpent could be the Devil from "Would've, Could've, Should've". Maybe the Devil could be The Professor from my "The Manuscript" analysis. I'm leaning toward that Devil being her old label.

4. Throttle

A throttle is several things. It can be something to give machinery fuel. It can be a verb, you can throttle something, aka kill it by strangulation. By "hand on the throttle," I think Taylor was saying she was ready to not only fuel/validate her truth, but kill her past lives. I get this vibe that TTPD might be for TS12 what Reputation was for Lover. Just like with Rep, she's killing the old Taylor(s) that hid her queerness before she steps into the daylight with what comes after. Makes me understand all the chockers and high-neck collars she's been sporting for this era.

5. "And it was written"

I feel like I grazed over this part of the line a bit. What was written? It could be Taylor's lyrics or her 100 thrown-out speeches. She wrote them, but wasn't heard anyway, cursed. Or it could be the word written in the Bible. (In my opinion, shit) translations of the Bible call for all kinds of things to happen to queer people, and has so for years. Not that many though because the word homosexual didn't even exist when the Bible was first scribed. Taylor was cursed before she was even born. Possibly like Eve. Didn't Eve have control over whether she ate the fruit or not? Do queer people have control in who they love? Christian will debate forever.

6. "Let it once be me"

One reason why Taylor wasn't out from the get-go obviously has to do with where her career began and under what industry she was entering. An underaged, famous, sapphic country singer sounds a bit wild now honestly, imagine in 2006! The world would not have been ready, unfortunately. But why can't Taylor come out now? Well, in "WAOLOM", Taylor sneers, "I am what I am 'cause you trained me". She was raised to closet for her whole career, maybe even longer, who could know? And of course, "Old habits die screaming" (from "The Black Dog"). After this album, however, I feel like she's gearing up to free herself. Still, there are so many people younger than Taylor who come out super casually, like Reneé Rapp, Girl in Red, etc, without games or clear fear. Taylor probably sees them and wonders why she couldn't have/had that freedom. Maybe when she says specifically, "redo the prophecy" rather than "change the prophecy" she wishes she could go back in time and somehow make it so she could've come onto the scene out and proud way back then.

7. "like fools in a fable / Oh, it was sinking in"

I think Taylor started feeling like she'd never be free as she began to write Folklore. Of course, she knew the plan didn't work before that in 2019, but as she created Folklore and Evermore, she realized she was anywhere near where she wanted to be in 2020, playing the same games. It sunk in with that. That's why Folklore, Evermore, and even some Midnights songs can sound so hopeless. As an LSK, I don't believe it was due to a breakup, but more closeting. All the albums after Lover seem to have minimal color because she can't be herself.

8. "My last coin"

So, I mentioned in part one that Taylor had/has referenced self-inflicting harmful actions towards herself in many songs. She also mentions poison in this song. It got me thinking about Romeo and Juliet and how that play goes. Taylor, with the "Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand" seems to be combining Romeo and Juliet's death, Juliet getting stabbed or "pricked" and Romeo drinking poison. Maybe this symbolizes that, even though when she was younger, more naïve and optimistic, she exclusively identified with Juliet and changed her ending in "Love Story", now she identifies with both Romeo and Juliet, even sometimes taking on the "male" role in her songs (e.g. The Heartbreak Prince and JaMEs). A part of me wonders if that could be a comment on her gender identity too, but that goes a bit over my skill level to analyze. But it feels sad that Taylor used to change the fates of Romeo and Juliet and now she's honest about what happens to them. As I said before, I want nothing but good for Taylor. it will be okay. 🤍 ✌️🌈

Alrighty, I think I got it all out of me. Watch me think of some more shit with this song. 🙄😅

[solarwynd]

https://www.tumblr.com/solarwynd/758582243034873856/i-was-surprised-to-see-jennie-has-like-31m?source=share

Talking about rockstar, it's funny kpop stans keep trying to imply nobody's heard who but I sincerely doubt pjms / armys while they are definitely contributing are single handedly carrying stability of this song in a manner unprecedented with even the group songs. Especially armys who can't keep a single song stable in the charts without heavy involvement of Thailand or Vietnam. Even seven was carried by it's heavy payola - playlisting and ads - not by fandom. Plus I've heard who in the wild (as in outside) a few times now. Meanwhile rockstar is a twitter only song for me. I used to get a ton of ads on it for Tiktok but apart from that I haven't heard it at all. And not surprising because I really dislike the song. Also I can be honest, this isn't a stan thing. Rockstar has a classic BP sound which I hate. That 2-3 M it's pulling is purely fandom based.

Another funny thing is JK stans talking about LC falling off the charts after muse released. It's unfiltered streams are still not bad but yes it can't enter the charts since that extra 1.5 million was coming from the fandom. However standing next to you and LMA and friends are in the exact same position. After all this time, nearly an year, nobody's really streaming those songs except fandom who's doing it just for achievements. Like how are you looking down on LC when your faves songs are in the exact same boat. It's esp more embarrassing with snty because that song had so much promo and an usher remix but it's doing worse than LC was when it was charting. GP carrying but jjks complaining about armys not streaming everyday. So which is it? The projection from kpop stans and jjks / kths is crazy.

Kpop stans are obviously lying about not hearing WHO cause they will consistently sit and wait for the clock to hit 12am to listen to whatever Jimin drops. Even if it’s just to shit on the song cause that’s their obsession with him. Like idk why they keep playing Jimin of all people like he’s some unknown. He started this kpop wave and got the bulk of kpop twitter into the very trash groups they stan now, like let’s get serious. That trickle down effect was very real.

And LC did her thing. I don’t feel any particular way about it dropping off cause it’s been more than a year. Keeping WHO’s stable requires all focus to be purely on it and I’d rather that considering the opportunity it has coming tomorrow with radio.

[fromtenthousandfeet]

Smells Like Steady Vocals and Perfect Pitch

Part 1.

I wrote this on April 5th, 2024 in a fit of rage/inspiration. I wasn't going to post it but I've decided to anyway because I'd like to give a little perspective about why Jimin, out of all the members of BTS, is popular in the US, and why I think he has amazing potential as a solo artist if he's given the right team and tools.

*******

Today is the 30th anniversary of Kurt Cobain's death, so it feels like a sign from the heavens that it's time to write a post I've been composing in my head for months.

So often when I'm on Twitter/X looking for information about Jimin, I see one nasty comment after another downplaying his singing, his artistry, and his talent in general. The phrase repeated the absolute most by the fandom of a particular member is that the reason HYBE invests in one above all the others is because he has the most stable singing voice. And perfect pitch. And the perfect tone for pop music.

Frankly, I get so sick of reading those comments, but I also have to laugh, because it shows such a fundamental misunderstanding of what appeals to music fans in the US/Western countries.

If you open Spotify right now and search for Nirvana, you will see 31.1 million monthly listeners! As a reminder, their last album was released 30 years ago and they only put out 3 major label albums over a 3 year period. Meanwhile, BTS has 28.6 monthly listeners and has a discography a mile long and a career spanning more than 10 years.

Do you honestly think that Nirvana has enjoyed so much popularity over the years because Kurt Cobain had perfect pitch and could sing live? Yeah, no.

I remember where I was the first time I heard "Smells Like Teen Spirit." I couldn't decide if I loved it or hated it, but the song held a strange grip on me. It was sooo different than all the other popular music at the time, even in the alternative scene. It wasn't quite punk, wasn't quite heavy metal. The song was angry and raw, but also oddly charming. But mostly, it was refreshingly different from all the highly produced music that was on radio stations' rotations at the time. Don't believe me? Here's a link to the Billboard Top 100 on the week "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was initially released:

Check out the list and tell me how many of these songs you know. Probably a few, but not many have withstood the test of time (shout out to 3 a.m. Eternal by The KLF, though. That was a fun song).

This was the #1 song that week:

Didn't like it then. Don't like it now.

Now compare that to Smells Like Teen Spirit:

Look at the Billboard list again. Lots R&B (love), dance tracks, a smattering of college radio/alternative tunes, and a whole lot of what we would call easy listening/adult contemporary music. A snooze fest. Nirvana came along at the right time when the American music audience was in desperate need of something more authentic and not so over produced.

Sorry for this long-winded pop music history lesson. Believe it or not, I have a point to make. Americans like a huge range of music styles (as can be seen on the current Billboard charts). We get bored easily. We don't demand a steady voice or perfect pitch. What we want is something new. Something innovative. Something authentic. The biggest western pop stars who have enjoyed long careers in North America know that they must push boundaries and release new, unexpected material in order to stay relevant.

Be it BTS' English trilogy, songs that blatantly emulate American pop singers, or the conveyor belt of 2 minute TikTok-ready tunes sung by Korean girls, so far it doesn't seem like we should expect anything terribly innovative or cutting edge now that Big Hit has morphed into HYBE with its many labels/subsidiaries. Fickle American audiences will move on quickly, in my humble opinion.

One last thing. The US is a huge country with very diverse cultures based upon geographical location. Gender, age, ethnicity, urban vs. rural, and region of the US all influence what people are listening to. What's popular in Atlanta isn't necessarily popular in Salt Lake City, for example. Americans are not a homogenous group and neither is our taste in music.

[wheretheharekissesthefox]

Of demons and monsters - Chapter 2: Accommodate

Astarion can't stop fantasising about finally taking Gale. But, to his utter frustration, the wizard isn't willing. Thus, the vampire spawn's faced with his inner demons and monsters from the past.

(Trigger warning (18+): graphic description of sex, smut, anilingus, anal sex, cunnilingus, consensual blood drinking, body worship, biting, ear kink (kinda), fellatio, fingering, frottage, deepthroating, face-fucking, hand job, thigh fucking, vomiting, watersports, wax play, mentioning of past non-con/rape, character study, talking lots of talking, emotional rollercoaster, respecting boundaries is sexy)

Notes:

To avoid confusion: In one of my other fanfics, Halsin and Tav had named the owlbear cup Naïlo, which means 'night breeze' in the Elven language.)

The rest of the week, Gale was busy with work. Meanwhile, Astarion tried to be useful and productive. He was still unsure what he wanted to do with his newfound freedom. As a former magistrate, he had very specific knowledge, but it was outdated and didn't fit today's politics anymore. Thus, the vampire spawn pondered what else he could do and was talented at. It angered and frustrated him that the only other thing he was good at was seducing people. Astarion was disgusted, he'd never take a job in that line of work. For far too long, he'd been treated like a courtesan by Cazador. The vampire spawn felt like punching something – or causing a bloodbath.

Good-humoured, Shadowheart was walking home from the Selûnite temple. Today had been a calm day without a sudden surge of devotees visiting. Thus, Shadowheart went home earlier than usual. She was humming one of Tav's songs, her long braid swinging behind her back. Her silvery staff with a dark blue sphere on the top didn't just mark her as an authority figure, but could also serve as a trusty weapon. It made a clicking sound every time it connected with the cobblestones as the cleric walked through the streets. When she arrived at home and unlocked the front door, a pungent smell and Astarion's raised voice welcomed her.

"What do you mean 'two cloves are not two bulbs'? I don't see the difference!"

"That's a beginner’s mistake, Mister Ancunin," Tara replied calmly but sternly. "The recipe asks for two cloves of garlic, not two entire bulbs of it."

"How was I supposed to know that?" yelled the addressed.

Shadowheart heard some awful clattering noise and an obscene swearword.

"Please, Mister Ancunin, kicking the kitchen cabinet won't help you," tsked the tressym, unimpressed.

The cleric threw her shoes off and rushed into the kitchen. Astarion stood next to the stove, looking murderous, while Tara sat on a chair nearby like a tired mother who watched her child's temper tantrum. The countertop was a mess. Shadowheart took it all in, stunned.

"First, put the knife down, Astarion, and then tell me what's going on," she greeted him.

The addressed jumped at the sound of her voice and turned around.

"Oh... uhm, hello Shadowheart. I didn't hear you," he replied bashfully and finally let go of the knife. "I was trying to cook, but this stupid recipe isn't telling me the right things!"

He glared at the mentioned book, seconds away from throwing it into the fire, but controlled himself since it belonged to Gale. Shadowheart moved closer.

"What's the problem? Something with the amount of garlic, I heard?"

"Yes," nodded Tara. "Mister Ancunin added two bulbs of garlic instead of two cloves. The soup's ruined and burns my nostrils! Phew!"

"I didn't know the difference," Astarion gritted out. "I've never cooked before. I never had to and now... well.... It's not necessary anymore. I can't even taste test the soup to try and fix it because I'd vomit immediately."

He looked crushed and Shadowheart had mercy on him. With a deep sigh, she grabbed a spoon and moved to the stove.

"Let me try it for you."

Astarion looked at her, surprised and wide-eyed.

"It – It might be really bad," he warned.

Shadowheart shrugged nonchalantly.

"Curiosity killed the cat."

She dunked the spoon into the simmering dish that smelled truly pungently of garlic, and put it in her mouth. Astarion and Tara watched her with bathed breath. Shadowheart grimaced and started coughing.

"Damn, Astarion! You could kill an entire legion of vampires with this thing!"

"Is it that bad?" he asked saddened.

"I told you to toss it out," Tara scolded him.

"No! No, we can fix it," intervened the cleric. "Just let me think for a second."

Excitedly, Astarion grabbed her arm, eyes sparkling with joy.

"Really? You think so?"

She nodded and a wide, happy smile spread over the vampire spawn's face. Tara, on the other hand, sighed deeply.

"What do you have in mind, Miss Hollowleaf?"

"Well... I'm not the best at cooking, but... we could use cream to mellow the strong garlic flavour and then, instead of making a soup, we could boil it down to a sauce in which we can toss some noodles."

"That sounds amazing!" cheered Astarion. "You're a lifesaver."

He hugged the cleric who was surprised about the vampire spawn's affectionate touch. He rarely did it. Smiling, she leaned into it and, because it felt right, even kissed his cheek. Astarion blinked at her dumbstruck. Shadowheart grinned at him.

"Come on, let's fix your dish."

With a groan, Gale closed the door behind him and leaned against it. He was tired. His pupils had been awful today: forgot their homework, talked during the lectures, almost burned the class room down because they'd ignored his warnings...

Why am I doing this to myself? Gale wondered. I should be a private tutor instead.

"Mister Dekarios!" Tara came running happily. "It's so good to see you. I've missed you."

The addressed chuckled and bent down to lift her up for snuggles.

"I saw you just this morning, my dearest Tara, and you've praised my cooking. – Apropos cooking, why do I smell garlic? It's rather pungent."

Tara sighed, long-sufferingly.

"Your lover cooked for you and made a terrible mistake."

"Tav? But she's rather good at cooking. Did she try garlic bread, or something?"

The tressym placed her front paws on his chest and looked up at the wizard.

"No, my dear Gale, it's Mister Ancunin."

The addressed's eyes widened, surprised and in disbelief.

"But... he doesn't know how to cook and doesn't need to. Why would he go to such lengths –"

"For you, silly," Tara snickered. "He wants to please you desperately."

"Oh..."

Gale was speechless. His heart thumped in his chest and he welled up a bit. His oldest friend rubbed her head against his clean-shaven chin, purring.

"Say hello to him. Shadowheart helped him save the mess."

The wizard huffed a laugh, placed Tara on the floor, and walked into the kitchen. Astarion, Shadowheart and Tav stood next to the stove, staring into the pot. Gale observed them quietly before making himself known.

"Hello, my dears. It smells delicious. A little tressym told me that a certain vampire spawn cooked his first meal and that a lovely cleric helped him."

The other three turned around and smiled at him.

"That's correct, darling. I wanted to do something nice for you," Astarion replied.

"It smells so damn good!" sighed Tav, salivating.

"You're in luck," snickered Shadowheart. "Dinner's ready."

She handed them their plates and they sat down to eat. Astarion fed Tara, Scratch and Naïlo before joining and observing the others anxiously. Gale rolled the thick noodles around his fork and elegantly brought them to his mouth. He closed his eyes as he chewed, savouring the flavours.

"Holy shit! It's so good!" exclaimed Tav. "You outdid yourself. That's so incredibly tasty!"

"Really?" asked Astarion, still anxious.

Shadowheart nodded and answered, with her mouth full: "It was a great idea to add cream. It mellowed everything out and the noodles soak up the flavours perfectly. We've created a masterpiece."

Now, everyone turned towards Gale who was still chewing his first mouthful. He finally swallowed and licked his lips.

"It's delicious," he said and the vampire spawn and the cleric breathed a sigh of relief. "The garlic flavour's strong, but pairs perfectly well with the cream, the pepper, and the pork belly chunks. Do I also taste a hint of nutmeg? And I believe there's chives."

Astarion nodded and the wizard smiled at him. When he rolled up his fork again, he added teasingly: "Whoever made the noodles needs more practice though. They're awfully thick."

Astarion grinned devilishly.

"It told you to let me do it. My knife skills are much better than yours."

"Shut up," grumbled Shadowheart, no heat behind her words, and shovelled more food into her mouth.

"I'm impressed," remarked Tav. " For this being your first time, you cooked incredibly well. Thank you, loves, for this absolutely tasty meal."

She kissed Astarion and Shadowheart.

"You smell like garlic," grumbled the latter.

"That's the point of a garlic sauce, and by the way, so do you, you silly goose," snickered the bard.

After dinner and when he was ready for bed, Gale pulled Astarion into a passionate kiss.

"Thank you for cooking. I appreciate it. It was delicious. One question though... Isn't it uhm... 'counterproductive' when I smell like garlic? I mean you're a vampire and all that."

Astarion chuckled, replying: "The garlic thing's a myth and holds no power over me."

He leaned up to kiss the wizard again. Then, he whispered against his lips: "Also, I don't mind when you smell like garlic. I'm fine with that."

"Hm, good to know," smiled Gale. "That means I can kiss you some more."

"You've already brushed your teeth, darling."

"That's not the point. I was seriously concerned when Tav kissed you during dinner. I thought you're going to melt or burst into flames or something to that effect. But I'm glad I was wrong."

He connected their lips again softly.

"Let's go to bed. I'm exhausted."

"Mhm, you do that, darling. Meanwhile, I'll go find a lovely meal on the streets. I'll join you later."

With one last kiss, Astarion left the house and Gale made his way to the bedroom. Tav already lay in their big, spacious bed, waving him closer.

One year into their relationship, Shadowheart, amid tears, had confessed that she couldn't sleep well when sharing a bed. Instead of judgement, she'd received sympathy. They'd bought a single bed for her and had moved it into the corner between the wall and some of their chest of drawers. Shadowheart didn't mind sleeping in the same room as others, but she needed space to get a refreshing good night's sleep. Which she required as a high priestess of Selûne who should radiate calmness and patience. Shadowheart still snuggled with the others in the big bed, but moved over to her own to sleep through the night.

Tonight, she already rested in her bed, dog-tired. Gale felt as worn-out as the cleric looked and face-planted into the bed.

"My students will be the death of me," he groaned. "It's exhausting to look after them so that they don't accidentally kill themselves."

Tav snickered and smooched him.

"Well then, goodnight and sleep well, love," she smiled.

With a hum, Gale kissed her forehead before collapsing onto the mattress and falling asleep shortly after. He didn't even register when Astarion joined them in bed.

Gale had the Fridays and weekends off, but they were often occupied by marking his pupils' essays and homework, or by preparing lectures and papers. Thus, the wizard was happy when he'd finished everything on Friday night. Contently, he leaned back in his chair and stretched his stiff limbs. He'd definitely overworked himself this week, not just because of his students but also because he'd done some private research.

Gale couldn't forget his conversation with Astarion regarding the latter's bedroom activity fantasies. But no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he could do it, the thought of being taken that way, filled him with so much discomfort, anxiety, and actual fear that he couldn't bring himself to do it. But there were other ways to accommodate his lover. Hopefully, it was enough.

Gale stood up, mind set on his mission, and took a bath. He washed himself thoroughly, dried off, and dressed in his favourite robe. Then, he went looking for his lover. He found Astarion in the living room, surrounded by the animals, reading a cookbook.

"So... 'simmering' means cooking something at a very low temperature, right?"

"Exactly, Mister Ancunin," purred Tara.

"I know what 'season to taste' means, but how should I do that without being able to actually taste the food?"

"Hmm... maybe follow every step except this one, and then let someone else taste and additionally season the dish for you, like Shadowheart did."

"That's probably the best idea," nodded the vampire spawn.

"Busy learning new things I see," smiled Gale and entered the room.

Scratch wagged his tail sleepily and Naïlo hooted as a greeting. Gale gave them some well-deserved affection.

"One's never too old to learn new things," replied Astarion. "I'm still figuring out what I'll do with myself now. I can't just vegetate in our home for the rest of my life. I want to pull my weight and do something useful with which I can earn some money. I can't work as a magistrate anymore though... The job was rather tedious anyway and it led up to the entire tragedy that is my life."

"You're rather talented at sewing and you have a very tasteful sense of fashion," Gale told him. "You'd make an excellent tailor."

"Maybe," muttered Astarion, lost in thought.

The wizard observed him for a bit before he said: "You seem busy and in a brooding state. I'll leave you be and come by later."

"No, it's fine," retorted the vampire spawn and looked up at him. "You're here, that means you'd like to tell me something. Go on, darling."

Gale licked his lips, confidence wavering.

"I uhm... I thought you might like to take this elsewhere. Your bedroom for example."

It immediately clicked in his lover's head and a grin spread over his face.

"I'd love to, darling," purred the vampire spawn. "I was waiting all week to have you. You always sleep like a log nowadays, because of your bratty students."

He pulled the wizard into a passionate kiss and then led him downstairs to his room. They immediately started to strip while Gale revealed: "I did some research and made some interesting discoveries."

"And you'd like to try them out? Oh, darling, I like that kind of research. You should do it more often," smirked Astarion.

Gale blushed a bit, cleared his throat, and smiled bashfully. They kissed, running their hands over each other's skin, and blindly stumbled towards the bed. Astarion brought the wizard under him, leaving biting kisses on his neck, and rubbed up against him. The wizard sighed and stroke his lover's pointy ears who shivered and moaned at the touch. Astarion bit down on his neck, not even drinking his blood, just burying his fangs in him. Gale groaned, his eyelids fluttered. There was something so intimate and erotic about being bitten – and fed on. He rolled his hips up into the vampire spawn, almost bucking the latter off. Astarion chuckled.

"Eager, are we?" He licked Gale's Adam's apple. "Let me taste you."

The wizard was surprised when his lover started kissing a trail down his torso instead of biting him again to feed. It seemed like he wanted to taste something else than blood.

"You should be the one on the receiving end," Gale panted. "I have some interesting things to share with you."

"Later," the vampire spawn told him and started to suck him off.

The wizard bit his lips and moaned lowly, running his fingers through his lover's hair. The latter pulled back with an obscene slurp and sat up. The hungry look on his face made Gale swallow nervously. Suddenly, something seemed to snap in Astarion.

"Turn around. Now," he growled and before the wizard had the chance to do anything, he was flipped onto his stomach. Astarion was immediately on him, kissing his back, licking down his spine, and biting his left buttcheek. Gale let out a little undignified squeak of shock at the uncharacteristic rough treatment and manhandling.

"Up on your knees."

The wizard was so shocked and confused about the situation that he complied. Astarion growled again, then, he spread his lover's cheeks and licked across his hole. Gale gasped, gripped by sudden fear.

"No."

He whined when the vampire spawn buried his tongue in him demandingly, opening him up.

"Astarion..."

The addressed grunted and drew back, only to push two well-oiled fingers into him and plunge his tongue right back in between them. Gale cried out when the vampire spawn stroke his prostate. It felt good, but the undoubtably soon-coming next step made him tremble in fear.

"No, Astarion, please stop."

The wizard sobbed. His mind unhelpfully already providing images of the further events. The tears spilled over and he turned his face into the bedsheets to stifle another sob.

"Astarion!" he cried in a panic. "No! Please stop! Please..."

The addressed suddenly drew back with a gasp and Gale dropped onto the bed with another sob. All his strength had suddenly left him.

"Shit," he heard Astarion pant. "Shit!"

The vampire spawn moved and rolled Gale onto his side to look at him. The latter's vision was blurry with tears as he gazed up at his lover who seemed almost as shocked and anxious as him.

"I can't, I'm sorry," Gale cried. "I really want to give this to you, but I can't."

"No, don't apologise. I pushed you despite knowing I shouldn't. I - I ignored your boundaries, your words. I'm truly sorry. I'll never do it again, I promise." Astarion looked angry. Not at him, Gale realised, but at himself. "Can I... can I touch you?"

The wizard nodded and utter relief showed on his lover's face. The vampire spawn lay down next to him and pulled him into a hug. Gale went willingly, with a deep sigh. Astarion kissed his forehead, holding him tight.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again. "I behaved like a monster."

"No. You stopped."

"Yes, but too late."

"It's – it's alright. You didn't go any further."

"But I thought about it." Now, Astarion tensed, angrily screwing his eyes shut and turning his head away. "I heard your pleas and despite of it, I seriously thought about shoving my dick into you and fucking you without your consent. – I'm so disgusting."

Astarion pressed the heels of his palms into his eye sockets and made an angry noise.

"I hate myself for it. – Gods, I'm acting like the monster I swore never to become!"

He gulped in some air, trembling.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

And before Gale could say or do anything, Astarion shot up from the bed, stumbled over to his washbasin and vomited into the porcelain bowl. His retching almost turned Gale's stomach as well. He quickly placed a hand on his queasy belly and mumbled a spell to ease the rising nausea . Then, he got up and rushed over to his lover who was still panting and dry heaving. He was hyperventilating, Gale realised. He placed a hand on Astarion's back and muttered a spell to calm him down and ease the nausea. The reaction was immediate. The vampire spawn relaxed, stopped gagging, and his breathing slowed.

"Thank you," he whispered.

Gale hummed and recited another spell to clean up the literal bloody mess. Then, he wrapped his arms around his lover.

"Sh, sh, it's alright, dear. I'm here and I won't leave," the wizard promised.

Astarion sobbed and pressed his face into Gale's shoulder, digging his fingers into him.

"I'm sorry. Please, forgive me, I beg you."

Gale kissed his temple and answered: "You don't have to beg. I'm still here, aren't I, and I promise you that I won't go as long as you want me around."

Astarion nodded, pressing himself even closer to the wizard, and the latter remembered what Astarion had told him.

'I want to crawl inside of you.'

Such simple words with such a heavy implication.

"I think it's best if we go to bed and rest," Gale said softly, and Astarion nodded again silently.

They lay down on the bed, tightly entangled. The wizard extinguished all the candles except for one and closed his eyes. He was almost asleep when he heard Astarion whisper pleadingly: "Please, don't hate me for what I've done."

"I could never hate you," mumbled Gale before sleep overpowered him for real.

When Gale awoke the next morning and blearily opened his eyes, Astarion was watching him with an unreadable expression.

"Morning, dear," mumbled the wizard. "May I kiss you?"

Relief showed on the vampire spawn's face and he nodded eagerly. Smiling sleepily, Gale placed a hand on his lover's cheek and his lips on his.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

The addressed shrugged.

"I'm still disgusted with myself."

"Don't be," Gale told him and kissed him again.

Astarion drew back and wanted to know: "How can you still love me?"

"Because I do," answered the wizard simply. "It's not like I can get rid of my feelings for you just because you've done something I don't approve of."

The vampire spawn chewed on his lower lip, asking: "Do you want to get rid of them? Your feelings I mean."

"No. I love you and nothing can changed that. I told you before."

Astarion bit his lip harder, frowning, until a small rivulet of blood dripped down his chin. Gale wiped it off gently, but his lover shied away from his touch.

"You said you'd still love me if I hurt you, but I don't want you to. If I'll ever hurt you in any shape or form, draw too much blood or force myself onto you, I want you to hate me. I want you to kill me. Show me no mercy if I'll become a monster like Cazador. Obliterate me like the grand wizard you are."

Gale's eyes widened and he shook his head vehemently.

"No! I could never." He gripped Astarion's arm to hold him closer as the latter tried to lean away further. "Please don't ask me to do such an unspeakable thing."

Astarion glared at him, baring his fangs.

"You all respect my boundaries. You never touch me without asking first. For years, you didn't touch my scars because it made me uncomfortable. I have so many boundaries, so many no-goes, and you just accept them. You, on the other hand, have one simple wish: to not be taken anally. And I am disgustingly upset about it. I tried to push your limit multiple times without taking into consideration how you feel about it! Like a selfish, wretched monster! What if I lose control for real? What if I rape you? What if I seriously hurt you, Tav, Shadowheart, or Halsin? What if I drain them dry, eh? Would you still love me?"

"I'm not afraid of you, Astarion," Gale snapped back. "I know who you are and what you are and I trust you. I know my lovers, my spouses. Bloody hells, I know my husband!"

At that, the vampire spawn stilled.

"Your husband," he mumbled, absentmindedly touching the silvery family sigil ring. A four-pointed star: Dekarios. His wedding ring.

"Yes," Gale said softly and stroke his cheek. "My husband Astarion Ancunin Dekarios. And my wife, Tav Sionnach Ancunin Dekarios. The loves of my life."

The vampire spawn blinked away tears, huffing a watery laugh.

"We're married," he sniffed, still in disbelief, and Gale smiled at him.

"We are, my dear."

He kissed him softly, left hand straying upwards to caress the pale elf's pointy ear. Astarion sighed and leaned into the touch.

"I still can't believe that not one but two people decided to love and marry me. I come with so much baggage. Why would you want someone who's broken like me?"

"Stop it. You're not broken," the wizard told him sternly. "You're traumatised and working your way through it. And I'm proud of you. We all are."

Astarion closed his eyes, leaning his head against Gale's shoulder. An ugly sob clawed its way out of his throat.

"I love you," he whispered, clinging to his lover.

The latter kissed his ear and stroke his back.

"I love you too. – Now, stop hurting yourself. Please."

Astarion nodded silently and Gale placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. The vampire spawn sighed, wrapping his arms around his husband, and breathed in the calming scent of lavender that lingered on the wizard's skin, hair, and clothes. Some things would never change. Astarion smiled softly. He drew back to look at Gale and leaned in to ravish his mouth. The latter moaned lowly and gave him a demonstration of his talented tongue. Gods, it made Astarion weak in the knees to think about what that tongue was capable of. The vampire spawn sunk his fingers into Gale's chest-length mane, marvelling at its softness once more. While moaning into his lover's mouth, the vampire spawn moved into his lap, searching for friction. The wizard gasped and wrapped a hand around them both.

"Yes," panted Astarion, bucking into the offered grip.

But Gale eased him back with his other hand against his chest and looked at him.

"Wait," he panted. "I have something better to offer. As I told you, I read up on some things."

"You're a walking, talking cyclopaedia. I don't think you'd need to read more," Astarion teased lightly.

Gale didn't take the bait and chuckled instead.

"Well, this wasn't my usual topic. I had to dig a little until I found what I've been looking for."

Now, the vampire spawn's curiosity got the better of him.

"Really? On what exactly did you read up on?"

Instead of answering, Gale lifted his hand, uttered a spell, and slid his glowing hand down his own throat. Astarion raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think you need a spell to be more talkative. You're annoying enough as you are, darling."

Gale shook his head with an amused snort.

"It's not for talking. I can't give you what you want, but there might be something I can do that feels similarly good."

"And what's that?" asked Astarion curiously.

Gale blushed and cleared his throat awkwardly.

"The spell... It uhm... It completely removes one's gag reflex – and more."

Astarion's eyes widened in surprise.

"You want me to fuck your face?" he blurted out.

"No, my throat," muttered the wizard.

The vampire spawn suddenly felt dizzy.

"Oh... Oh, darling, I'd love that. If you're willing."

Gale swallowed thickly but nodded. He lay down on the bed and Astarion straddled his chest.

"You should - You should face the other way," the wizard told him, shyly. "I read that it feels better that way because –" He had to lower his gaze. "– because you can go deeper. It'll feel more like you're taking my uhm... you know."

Gale was incredibly uncomfortable to spell it out and Astarion had mercy on him. He leaned down to place a gentle kiss on his lover's lips.

"I'd love to try it."

He turned around, facing the foot of the bed instead of the headboard and slowly lowered himself down.

"Tap my leg if it's too much," he instructed the wizard who hummed.

Astarion took a deep breath, positioned his arms on the mattress at Gale's sides and bent his knees further. He bit his lips and moaned lowly when Gale took him in his mouth. Carefully, the vampire spawn rolled his hips forwards, sliding his cock down his lover's throat. When he went pass his uvula, Gale moaned instead of gagged, and Astarion's eyes rolled back.

"Oh, shit!" he groaned. "It feels so good."

Gale seemed pleased, gently stroking his thighs. The vampire spawn kept pushing forward and down the willing throat until Gale's lips touched his pubic bone. He moaned loudly, hips stuttering. The wizard's throat was tight, hot and soft – just like Astarion pictured his ass to be.

"Fuck," he groaned. "Oh, fuck... Gale…"

The addressed hummed around him, the vibration zapping through the vampire spawn like lightning. He whined and something snapped in him. He drew back, only to thrust in again, desperate to feel that tight clutch around him. Blissfully, Astarion threw his head back and started to fuck Gale's throat for real. He shoved his hips into him over and over again until he moaned with every exhale. His eyes rolled back in his head again and he closed his eyes.

"Yes," he groaned and climaxed with a blissful cry.

Gale's throat worked around him, swallowing his load. Astarion moaned and lost another flood. Slowly, he pulled out and gasped when his member slipped past his lover's soft lips. He had just enough strength left to turn around before he collapsed.

"Gods, darling... That was... I've never experienced anything like this before."

"Hmm." Gale smiled pleased, stroking Astarion's hair. "According to your reaction, my research was a success. – There's more by the way."

"Really?" The vampire spawn gazed at him, still drunk on his orgasm and terribly aroused. "Care to share?"

The wizard smirked smugly.

"But, you know, listening to my garrulous explanations and monologues is rather tedious. I wouldn't want to bore you."

Astarion snickered.

"Truer words have never been spoken. But still; tell me everything you learned while doing research, darling."

"Well..." Gale turned a bit to make better eye contact. "As you can probably imagine, there's endless literature on sexual practices, but I obviously looked for specific things that might please you. One starting point was your affinity for the differences in our body temperatures and I found some rather uhm... 'unconventional' methods. The first involves candles, or better said melted candle wax. It's easily explained and very forward: Light a candle, let the wax melt and drip onto your partner's body. It'll bring them excitement and pleasure."

"Sounds... interesting."

"Would you like to try it?"

When Astarion nodded, Gale stretched out his hand with a whispered spell and the candle on the nightstand flew over. He lit it with another spell and Astarion watched the calm flame with bated breath. There was some undiagnosable anxiety stirring in his belly, but he ignored it. Gale locked eyes with him.

"Are you ready?"

Astarion nodded.

"Are you sure you want to try this? You don't have to."

"I want to," replied the vampire spawn determinedly.

The wizard nodded, shifted his attention to the candle, and tilted it sideways. A small dollop of melted wax dropped onto Astarion's solar plexus and he gasped in shock. It was hot on his cold, undead skin, but didn't truly hurt. When the wax first hit his skin, there was a quick moment of pain which immediately fizzled out into a prickling feeling.

"Alright?" Gale asked, always checking in on him.

Astarion was almost at the verge of tears again. His lovers were always so attentive and respectful, and he'd almost screwed it up.

"Yes," he whispered. "Do it again."

Gale moved the candle slightly upwards and the next puddle of wax hit Astarion's sternum. The vampire spawn gasped again, shivering at the heat of it. He moaned when the wax hit his skin for the third time.

"Do you want me to keep going?"

"Yes. Gods, just... give me more," panted Astarion.

The wizard hummed and carefully continued his work. The vampire spawn trembled beneath him, gasping or moaning each time the hot, melted wax hit his skin. Gale painted a random pattern, dripping the white wax all over his lover's torso. He left out certain areas, like the areolas and the belly button because they're too sensitive for it. Astarion revelled under the attention even though it wasn't his favourite thing. Suddenly, a stupid idea popped into his head, he still voiced it.

"Drip it on my dick."

"That's a terrible idea. That'll seriously burn you."

"Just do it. You can heal me afterwards."

"If you wish," muttered Gale and did as he was told.

When the hot wax hit the tip of Astarion's penis and started flowing down along his length, his mouth fell open in a guttural moan and his eyes rolled back in his head.

"Mmmh...oh, fuck..."

"It hurts, doesn't it?" the wizard stated worried.

"Yes, but no. In a way, but it also feels... good," groaned the vampire spawn, his member twitching as the wax started to cool and harden. "It - it's difficult to describe. Do it again."

"Astarion, I don't think that's –"

"Again. Please."

With a sigh, Gale complied. A string of hot wax drizzled over the tip of the penis again, slightly pooling in the slit before running down. The vampire spawn whined and bucked up. It felt so painfully good. Gale stared at him.

"You're getting... hard?" he asked in disbelief.

All Astarion could do was whimper and his member twitched in excitement. His eyes rolled back in his head again when wax hit his erection a third time.

"Oooh Gods!"

He trembled, surprised about teetering at the edge already again.

"I'm going to –"

His sentence ended in a shout as more hot wax dribbled over his length. His mouth fell open in a silent cry and his seeds spilled over, pushing the hardening wax away from the tip. The feeling had him moaning again.

"Most fascinating," mumbled Gale. "I didn't think you could come from this."

"Me neither," panted Astarion with a chuckle.

Gale's unfocused gaze wandered over his lover's wax-littered torso, lost in thought.

"Since your body's colder than a living being’s, you're more sensitive to heat, but only when it's in contact with your skin, not the temperature around you. You don't react this way to the summer heat."

"You're a genius," teased the vampire spawn. "I'm undead, darling. The weather conditions don't bother me, I neither sweat nor freeze."

"I know, but it's a rather peculiar phenomenon," muttered the wizard.

Astarion smirked, petting his husband's hair.

"Can you please focus on our bedroom activities again, darling?"

The addressed blinked and looked up.

"Of course. Apologies."

Gale kissed him gently, then, the vampire spawn smirked.

"Has your research provided you with more methods?"

"Yes, but..." The wizard blushed, averting his gaze. "I doubt you'll enjoy it. It's a rather unconventional, disgusting practice. I don't even want to tell you about it."

Astarion was intrigued by the mysteriousness.

"Do tell."

Gale swallowed and licked his lips.

"Well... it's uh... You like it when I... you know."

The vampire spawn raised an eyebrow questioningly and the wizard wanted to hide somewhere in embarrassment.

"You like it when I spill into you," he finally got out, turning crimson. "But no matter if I use a spell or not, the amount will never be enough to satisfy you. The method I found is... well... one empties one's bladder into one's partner."

Astarion's eyes widened.

"What?" he whispered.

Gale ducked and tried to hide in the sheets.

"It's disgusting, I know. I didn't want to tell you anyway."

"Wait, wait..." The vampire spawn's head was spinning. "You're telling me people pee into their partners?!"

"Yes," mumbled Gale into the blanket.

Astarion blinked, staring at the ceiling. How would that feel like? Being filled with a gush of hot urine. Disgusting, no question, but also... Astarion licked his lips. It would be incredibly warm and much more than a load of semen. He was surprised when a shiver ran down his spine and his member twitched at the thought.

"We could try it," he said lowly.

Gale stared at him in disbelief and suddenly, Astarion felt self-conscious and embarrassed.

"Are you sure? Do you really want to try?"

Biting his lip, the vampire spawn nodded. He would have blushed if that had been physical possible.

"If it's your wish, we can try," Gale told him. "Do you want to do it now?"

Astarion nodded hastily and pulled him into a sloppy kiss. Then, he asked: "Can you though?"

The wizard huffed a laugh, flustered.

"Well, it's morning and I haven't used the privy yet, so... my bladder's rather full."

"Let's do it then," the vampire spawn told him, sounding more confident than he was.

To his utter relief, Gale nodded and replied: "We better do this on the floor. It'll be messy."

Astarion attempted to stumble out of bed, but his lover held him back.

"Let me prepare you first," he said and placed a kiss on his cheek.

The wizard uttered a spell and the candle wax vanished from Astarion's body. The latter was thankful for it because the hardening wax was starting to tug uncomfortably on his skin when he moved. The vampire spawn handed him the lubricant and Gale carefully but efficiently opened him up with his fingers. The vampire spawn sighed and moaned at the gentle treatment. When the wizard finally deemed him ready, he retracted his fingers and placed a kiss on Astarion's erection. The latter rolled out of bed and got down on all fourth. He was so aroused and needy that he didn't feel ashamed anymore. Gale moved closer, pumping himself to full hardness, and positioned himself behind his lover. He bent down and kissed Astarion's tailbone.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes," breathed the addressed.

"Ready?"

The vampire spawn nodded, biting his lips in anticipation. Gale kissed his scars first and only then pulled back to push into him. Astarion moaned lowly, closing his eyes blissfully. He loved to be filled by the wizard's cock who had the perfect length and girth. Gale started to move, leisurely thrusting into his partner, hitting his prostate every time. Other than usual, he didn't lean over the vampire spawn but kneeled with a straight back, watching how his member moved in and out of his lover's cold, greedy hole. Moaning lowly, the wizard grabbed onto Astarion's hips to hold him tight.

"Do you – Do you really want this?" he panted. "You have to tell me now, I can't stop later."

"Do it," moaned the vampire spawn. "I want to feel your heat inside me, please."

With a grunt, Gale bottomed out and climaxed, spilling into him, with his head thrown back. Astarion moaned, glutes flexing and trying to milk him dry. The wizard took a deep breath, let go, and started to pee into his lover. Astarion's eyes went wide when the hot urine flooded his cold body. His mouth dropped open in a loud, guttural cry, his eyes rolled back in his head, and he spilled his release onto the floor while the stream of liquid didn't seem to end. His body shook at the sudden warm rush, and he moaned and moaned, as he ass pulsed around Gale's cock.

"Yes... fuck..."

He felt his insides fill up for the first time in over two centuries (from the wrong end, but still), all hot, and so, so much. His eyes rolled again as he kept moaning and drooling onto the floor. Gale slowly rocked into him even though he wasn't hard anymore. Astarion felt the liquid slush around inside him and slightly trickle out and down his thighs, leaving hot traces behind. Whining, he flexed his glutes, hoping to keep as much as possible inside him. Gale moaned lowly at the movement and slowly pulled out. More urine gushed out and down Astarion legs who moaned at the feeling. He hadn't even known that such an act was possible – or practiced. For the first time in centuries, his body felt warm. He could die happy now.

Gale tenderly caressed his buttocks and asked: "How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic," slurred the vampire spawn. "It’s so warm and I'm so... full. Gods..."

"So... it's... good?"

"More than," Astarion moaned.

The wizard brought a hand around him, running it over his belly. Then, he gently pulled Astarion backwards until he was kneeling. The vampire spawn whined when more of the urine gushed out of him and soaked the floor under him, warm and wet.

"Oooh... shit..." he sobbed and trembled.

With a hum, Gale wrapped his arms around him and kissed his husband's neck while he stroke his gaunt belly.

"Are you warm now, Astarion?" he whispered. "Do you feel alive?"

"Yes," the addressed groaned, leaning more into his lover.

Gale chuckled and littered his neck with kisses. Astarion sighed, happy and sated. He had never felt this way before. They dwelled like this for a while, kneeling and embracing, with Gale kissing the vampire spawn's neck and caressing his abdomen while the latter rested his head against the wizard's shoulder. When the liquids started to cool and feel itchy on his skin, Astarion started to wiggle around uncomfortably. Gale cleaned them up with a spell, including the floor, and, instead of sex and urine, the room smelled faintly of lavender. Astarion sighed, turned his head and met Gale for a sweet kiss.

"Thank you for indulging me and my perversions."

"Anything for you."

They kissed again, then, they got up to move back to the bed.

"Oof, my knees are killing me," groaned the wizard and the vampire spawn snickered.

They lay down and cuddled close together. Smiling, Astarion brushed his fingers along Gale's clean-shaven jaw.

"You're getting old, my love."

The wizard stared at him wide-eyed.

"You never call me that before," he whispered and the vampire spawn frowned, concerned.

"I never called you what? Old?"

"My love."

"Oh..." Astarion blinked, surprised. "But, you are. You are my love."

"Astarion..." Gale was at the verge of tears and he hugged his husband.

"You know..." The vampire spawn looked at him. "For almost two centuries, I had to lure young, pretty things back to my master. What I wanted and felt never mattered. And now that I finally have a choice, I realised that I don't like young, pretty things. – Don't get me wrong, I am vain." He smirked a bit. "But my definition of beauty is different than Cazador's. The eye of the beholder and all that."

Astarion stroke Gale's hair, smiling softly.

"You're beautiful. The crow's feet and the lines on your forehead that get deeper with each year that passes. Your majestic hair that's turning more and more grey. Your body that finally gets softer again. I can't wait until you have a pudgy little belly and love handles."

At that, Gale snorted a laugh, but kept quiet otherwise.

"I love that you're growing out your hair. It suits you."

"Well, it's better than a beard," the wizard replied and, with a chuckle, he added: "Tara would be furious if I'd stop shaving again."

"And rightfully so," grinned the vampire spawn and kissed him again. "You know, you do look like your mother."

At that, Gale smiled brightly. Proudly, Astarion realised. He kept caressing his husband's face.

"Since we've met, you've aged and it's beautiful. Because it means that you survived and are alive. I'll never age, but I'm not into youth. I'm attracted to people who show signs of aging, and I can finally choose who I take to bed. – The same goes for Tav, you know? She's not a beauty, obviously, but I love the way her eyes sparkle when she's happy and how her beaming smile lights up a room. I love the freckles on her broad shoulders and her tiny, little breasts, and that she can pick me up with ease and carry me around like a princess. I love her and I love you, and I love that I can be by your sides while both of you age."

"You might change your mind in forty years when we'll be all saggy skin and wrinkles and smell like old people," said Gale softly, but the vampire spawn shook his head.

"No," he replied with a serious expression on his face. "No, I'll always love you, just the way you are."

Smiling, the wizard pulled him in for a kiss, pouring all his feelings into it.

"I love you too," he muttered against his husband's lips. "As long as I live, you won't get rid of me."

Astarion snickered, replying: "I never want to get rid of you, my love."

They stayed in bed, warm and cosy, lying in each other's arms, and trading kisses. For once, time went by without their contribution. Astarion and Gale simply dwelled in each other's company without a care in the world.

[hrefna-the-raven]

Heart of Steel

Fallout masterlist - main masterlist

Chapter 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

Song for this chapter:

Summary: You pay Goodneighbor a visit, meeting up with Nick in the Memory Den to find out where the Institute is hiding, hoping to save your son. Meanwhile something as simple as a visit to Goodneighbor proves challenging for someone with the mindset of Elder Maxson. He made a promise but keeping it might crack deeper into what Arthur truly wanted.

Warnings: smut (18+), violence (although Finn deserves it), a lot of feel feels

Notes: sorry for the length of this chapter^^ but there'll be smut at the end as a reward ;)

Chapter 7 - Dangerous minds

You nervously paced up and down in front of the entrance of Goodneighbor, jumping at every little noise around you. Your hand instinctively reached for the pistol in the holder on your hip as someone emerged from around the corner. As the person drew nearer, you noticed that it was a tall man with dark brown hair. The sides of his head were shaved, while the hair on top was slightly longer with a few strands that fell in his face. A snug white t-shirt clung to his well trained torso, covered by a worn black leather jacket. His dirty blue jeans clung tightly to his legs and his boots were worn and covered in dirt and scratches. As he approached, you caught sight of a long scar on his right cheek and only then did you relax, removing your hand from the pistol.

"Arthur", you greeted him with a smile, "you look...different."

"Different enough that you were ready to shoot me", he grinned, "I suppose that means I've been successful."

You thought he was already good looking before but that clean shaved face took it to a whole new level. No beard to hide that wonderful sharp jawline, perfectly contouring his face, making him look more his age. You were positively surprised how many years his beard had added to his appearance. As your finger traced over his scar, he suddenly became self-conscious, realising that most of it had been hidden beneath his dark facial hair for so long. Memories of how he'd barely managed to defeat that deathclaw seven years ago violently flooded his mind, causing his hands to tremble and his vision to blur as sheer panic caused by the flashback flooded his entire body.

"Don't worry about that", you spoke softly as you kept touching his scar, "I actually think it adds to your rugged charm. Although, at some point, I would love to hear the story behind it."

You placed a tender kiss on his lips and felt the tension melt away. Arthur let out a nervous chuckle, surprised at how you were able to have such a calming effect on him. Just a simple kiss managed to wash away the painful memories of his encounter with one of the most dangerous creatures in the Wastelands.

You made your way through the creaky worn wooden door but only a few steps in, your way was blocked by a scarred bald man in road leathers. He casually lit his cigarette, his eyes scanning between Arthur and yourself, lingering as he examined your appearance.

"Welcome to Goodneighbor, Sweetie. Can't go walking around without an insurance. It would be a shame if something happened to you."

The disgustingly smug smile he gave you made you want to punch this dude straight away but you knew better than to start trouble in this place, especially with the Brotherhood's Elder by your side.

"Unless it's “keep-dumb-assholes-away-from-me” insurance, I'm not interested", you shrugged nonchalantly, trying to keep a neutral expression as you heard Arthur laugh next to you.

“Careful babyface!”, he pointed at Maxson before turning his attention back to you, that greasy smile reappearing, “now don't be like that, sweetie, I think you're going to like what I have to offer.”

“Whoa, whoa, time out, Finn!”, Hancock laughed as he strolled towards you, “my favourite Vaultie makes a rare visit to town and you're hassling her and her friend here with that crap? Good to see you again”, he winked at you.

“What d'you care? She ain't one of us and he ain't either! You're soft Hancock, one day there'll be a new mayor in town”, Finn took a few steps towards the ghoul, raising his arms provocatively.

“Come on, man. This is me we're talking about. Let me tell you something.”

Hancock now stood mere inches away from Finn when he swiftly pulled out a dagger from beneath his coat and began thrusting it into Finn's body until it went limp and collapsed onto the pavement, a dark crimson pool forming around it. The ghoul wiped the knife clean on the corpse and slid it back under his coat, a genuine friendly broad smile gracing his lips now as he approached you with open arms and to hug you tightly.

“You alright, sister?”, a concerned tone in his voice as he inspected you before addressing Arthur, “don't let this little incident taint your view of our little community. Goodneighbor's of the people, for the people, you feel me? Everyone's welcome.”

“Of the people, for the people? Oh brother...”, Maxson grumbled.

Hancock burst into laughter before playfully slapping Arthur's shoulder.

“Same as her, he he, I can tell I'm gonna like you already. Your room's ready at my humble State House, courtesy of being the mayor. Old Nick's waiting at the Memory Den. And be sure to pay a visit to The Third Rail, trouble always seems to find your little merc MacCready.”

“He's not mine, you know”, you chuckled as you watched Hancock make his way toward the State House.

You wanted to head straight to meet up with the detective but Maxson's fingers wrapped around your wrist and he pulled you closer.

“You're...friend...is a ghoul”, he whispered with disdain.

The sudden hostility in his tone should have shocked you but upon seeing the sorrow in his eyes, you knew exactly where this was coming from. Those were words that sprouted from the seeds of military indoctrination sown in the mind of a child who ever only got to see the worst of each supposed enemy. It reminded you that war was not the only thing that never changed.

“Quite the deduction skills, Captain Obvious”, you teased him, refusing to play into his hateful statement.

“But-”, he started but you cut him off.

“You made a promise to me yesterday. Now I kindly ask of you to leave the Elder at the Prydwen and let Arthur follow me”, you said with a mocking bow, sticking out your tongue before taking his hand and leading him towards the Memory Den.

A surge of righteous outrage swelled within his chest, roaring in anger as it fought against the audacity of your response. It felt ridiculed, left alone in a dark corner with the nagging voice of doubt that had grown louder in recent times. He did make a promise yesterday and despite suspecting that this journey would challenge everything he believed in, he still chose to accompany you. He had to buck up on his ideas, at least for now, for you and his own sake.

The glowing yellow circles in the otherwise lifeless eyes, the grimy worn pallor of the artificial skin, exposing pieces of complex machinery on the places it was torn. Arthur recognised the synth for what it was immediately, his stomach only twisting further as it presented itself as detective Nick Valentine, friend of yours. It didn't take him long to connect the dots between this machine and the first discussion you had with him about the synth. This was one of the Institute's abominations and, at the very same time, the one saving your life multiple times. And now here it was waiting for you, ready to risk its own life yet again to help you find and rescue your son from the clutches of the very institution it should be loyal to. Your answer on your first day finally had a face to it, the face of a discarded machine and that of a truth he kept denying vehemently. His mind held countless reasons to hate every synth, everything created by the Institute, but his heart began to waver, secretly driving the wedge between his convictions and yours deeper, leaving him struggling to find out which version of reality would ultimately prevail.

"Don't worry, they'll both be alright ", doctor Amari assured, a smile on her face as she continued to observe you, delving deeper into Kellogg's memories, "although I have a feeling that one of them is more important to you."

Arthur's gaze never wavered from your form, afraid to even blink for fear of missing a moment where you might be in danger, beyond his reach.

“I know who you are.”

He finally dared to look away from you towards the doctor, his lips parting but the words failed him. What did he even want to tell her? That he couldn't care less if she knew? That nothing she could say would sway him from the path he had set the Brotherhood on? That even if he wished to stray from that path, he couldn't? He was trapped, his name, its legacy, hanging like a bleak prophetic shadow over him, regardless of what he truly wanted.

“But I also know”, Amari continued, “that she made the decision to bring you here and I will place my trust in her judgment. What she has done so far, the people she has helped, there is an honest heart and open-minded soul within her.”

“And what do you think happens now?”, he finally found his voice, his words escaping in a faint and uneasy whisper.

His mind failed him, trapped in the worries around you in this moment, he didn't have the energy to summon the soldier he was expected to be.

“Nothing”, Amari chuckled, her laughter filled with a mix of amusement and reassurance, “I will keep a watchful eye on you, but as long as you care for her and show respect to those residing here, you will be welcomed. We are not the Brotherhood; we don't immediately resort to violence against those who hold different beliefs, or physiology for that matter. ”

His eyes darted to the screen just in time to see the courser vanishing with Shaun.

“Teleportation”, he muttered under his breath.

“Now it all makes sense. Nobody's found the entrance to the Institute because there IS no entrance.”, Amari spoke, her fingers swiftly tapping on the buttons of her computer as she spoke into the microphone next to the screen , “let me pull you out of there.”

Arthur couldn't tear his eyes away from Magnolia, slowly draining his drink as her voice and music hypnotised him further. The sultry tone dancing around the swinging rhythm lured him deeper into the depths of his own musings. It felt different hearing the music directly sang by someone pouring their soul into the song and touching others with a directness a radio could never replicate. He huffed, after this day, he was truly wondering if the singer was even human or one of those damned machines. He wouldn't know anymore and he grew too tired to think about it... To claim that this day had been exhausting would have been an understatement. It had been a long time since he'd experienced the world the way he did today. The Brotherhood had always kept him busy, even more so since he was appointed Elder, but despite being out there in the world, he never truly saw it. Yet, in spite of his fatigue, a part of him still yearned to leap from his seat and return to the Prydwen, armed with the newfound knowledge he had acquired to further his war against the Institute. He groaned instead, shifting his gaze from Magnolia to the empty glass he twirled between his fingers.

Your hands gently caressed his shoulder, your tender gesture prompting the first smile since both of you left the Memory Den. He seemed more quiet than usual, out of place, his usual cockiness stripped away and it caused a flicker of uncertainty within you. You questioned whether it was the right decision to bring him here but then again, these people became your allies, some of them friends, and if he was to be a part of you, he needed to witness and embrace everything that came with it. You nuzzled your face in the side of his neck, trailing kisses up to his ear.

"Mac's still not here and I'm getting tired, let's head back to our room", you whispered, leading him to the State House.

As soon as the door closed behind you, Maxson flung his jacket onto the armchair in the corner and collapsed onto the bed, absorbed in a mist of thoughts while he stared at the crumbling plaster of the ceiling, only lifting his head when he felt the mattress shift under a weight at its edge. He swallowed a groan as he watched as you crawled on top of him, gradually moving until you were lying upon him, placing a long tender kiss on his lips. The pressure and warmth of your body weighing down on him washed over his mind, clearing a path for his insatiable longing for you.

"Arthur", you breathed sultry, your eyes finding his.

There was a subtle shift in the depth of your stare, beneath the vast ocean of your deep affection, there lingered something more intense - a yearning that he had grown all too familiar with since you entered his life. Away from the ceaseless hum of the Prydwen's engine, with no danger of being interrupted by anyone at any time, the realisation of just how much you wanted to be close to him, to melt into him without ever leaving again, hit you with an overwhelming force. You moved slightly to the side, causing a gasp to escape his lips as he felt your hand gently stroke his clothed member. It didn't take long before his growing bulge felt almost painful against the confines of the tight jeans. Biting his lower lip, he watched as you unbutton his pants before pulling them down along with his underwear. The sudden coolness of the room against his throbbing erection caused him to inhale sharply; you had barely touched him, yet he was already teetering dangerously close to his limit.

"May I?", you asked, licking your lips as you settled between his thighs.

Arthur had no idea what you were implying but he knew he'd take whatever you offered him. He hissed as your lips wrapped around the tip of his cock, swallowing it slowly until all of it was buried in the wet warmth of your mouth. He'd touched himself many times in the solitude of his quarters but this felt unlike any pleasure he was ever able to give himself.

"I...I...I don't know for how long I can take this", he stuttered, "I've never been with anyone, not like this."

His confession tugged at your heartstrings. Here you were, lying in bed with the one man, whose Brotherhood almost lifted him into the realm of legends due his deeds and leadership, bare before each other in a rare moment of vulnerability of him admitting that you were the very first to grant him this kind of intimacy. It saddened you, realising that this man, whose soul revealed a profound connection and gentle nature, had never been seen in this light by anyone before. Despite the Brotherhood's reverence and adoration for him, they failed to recognise the beauty within his soul. But he'd no longer be alone for he had you now. You continued bobbing your head, twirling your tongue around the tip each time. You barely managed to do this five times before you felt his cock twitch, his warm release filling your mouth as the sound of your name mingled with long sinful moans dripping from his lips. You eagerly swallowed every drop he offered, and with one final lick, you crawled back to lie beside him, offering him a gentle smile. It took him a few deep breaths to recover before he settled on his knees, slowly starting to undress you before taking off his own t-shirt, leaving both of you completely bare before each other. His steel-blue gaze trailed over you body, brows furrowed as if he desperately tried to burn every little detail of you into his memories while his hands trailed over your soft skin. He remembered a part of that book he once stole in the Citadel, eager to try if those old words held any truth. Leaning in, he licked and sucked on your nipple while his hand ventured down between your legs, two fingers slowly dragging through your folds. His inexperienced touch and movements might have been slightly rough and uncoordinated, but they elicited the sweetest moans from you. He noticed that that every time his fingertips grazed against your clit, your legs quivered ever so slightly and your moans grew needier. You opened your eyes at the sudden lack of his touches and found him staring at his fingers, coated with your wetness. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you witnessed his fascination with something so ordinary, highlighting how his life must have been devoid of intimacy all these years.

"All for you", you whispered, earning a genuine smile from him.

"Do you truly want this?", he asked, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

You remained silent, aware that words alone would never be enough to convey the depth of your desires in this moment. Instead, you pushed him onto his back, straddling him as you pressed your wetness against his cock, grinding against it and feeling him grow hard again.

"There is nothing I want more than being here with you, feeling you, loving you", you breathed, pausing your movements, "you're all I ever wanted."

Arthur's heart felt as if it were on the verge of shattering at your words. He had been going through life without ever experiencing such affection and tenderness. For the first time, he felt truly wanted, even loved, not just for his name, his purpose, but for his soul, his own true essence.

"I don't recognise that feeling plaguing my heart and mind but if this is truly love", a teardrop welled up in the corner of his eye, "then allow me to tell you that I love you."

You positioned his cock at your entrance, moaning his name, feeling him stretch you perfectly as his cock was sliding deep inside you. His hands clasped unto your hips, fingers digging into your supple flesh while he held you in place for a moment, overwhelmed by the sheer pleasure. Your walls clenched around his twitching cock and you slowly began moving, placing your hands on his chest while your gaze locked onto his. Arthur began thrusting his hips upwards, anticipating your movements. The lewd sounds of him thrusting deep inside your wetness filled the room, entangling with the heavy breaths and lustful moans. Arthur watched your head fall back in pleasure as you rode him and he couldn't care for anything anymore in this very moment. The Brotherhood, his war, held no significance at this moment, all he cared for was the closeness to you, the love which bound you together and the heavenly bliss you had brought upon him. Both of you approached the edge fast and your moans grew louder as both of you finally plunged into the abyss of purest pleasure. Panting, you tried to get off him but Arthur pulled you down on him, his arms wrapping around you, holding you in a tight hug, both of you surrendering to the irresistible lure of slumber.

Chapter 8 - why do fools fall in love?

Feel free to reblog if you enjoyed the story :)

[coquelicoq]

9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

i was tagged by @littleragondin! mci mon ami.e !

3 Ships You Like: in a kim dojka & yoo sangah platonic life partners phase rn. god. they would get married but not because they particularly care about marriage, just to bypass the hoops the government makes single people jump through in order to adopt kids, but kim dokja would seriously hesitate for the sole reason that him marrying yoo sangah would make all three of his parents very happy in a way that he would find incredibly annoying.

ok i'm doing another platonic one: moon & ember! i have read the few existing moon & ember fics so many times i can no longer separate them from canon. their dynamic is everything 2 me. bodyguard & anger translator. damaged hottie with trust issues & naive little pretty boy who just wants to go home. moon sees ember as not just a romantic rival but also a threat to his place in the colony, and of course being moon, his reaction to that is not to challenge ember but just to assume that he's been replaced and that he has to start over again alone. ember is everything that moon is not, everything he's convinced he's supposed to be, but ACTUALLY they're both perfect the way they are and there's room enough in this court for the both of them. they are so powerful when they combine their complementary skillsets for the good of the colony. plus i love that every time he interacts with anyone moon is probably thinking, "ugh, i bet EMBER wouldn't be fucking this up"…but also he's defending ember when stone makes fun of him and offering to challenge the reigning queen on ember's behalf! he's protective of ember even as ember embodies everything that makes him insecure. meanwhile ember thinks moon is the coolest person to ever exist and also. extremely cringe. probably 25% of his pillow talk is him subtly trying to convince pearl that moon is just a little birthday boy who should be allowed to be a hugely oversensitive weirdo, as a treat.

people have been rbing some of my cherry magic posts recently so i've been thinking about kurodachi again. i miss them! they're so well matched, so complementary in the ways that they need to grow, and it's lovely to watch them help each other do that. the way that adachi is inspired to make an effort by kurosawa's continuous striving for things he thinks he'll never get, and the way that adachi's apathy for perfection frees kurosawa from his need to be worthy…like ok fine whatever i am listening!!!

First Ship Ever: i have been sitting here trying to think of an earlier ship so i can avoid embarrassing myself, but if i'm honest it's probably ron/hermione. moving right along.

Last Song You Heard: one week by barenaked ladies! what a banger.

Favorite Childhood Book: when i was a kid i had meticulously curated my top ten favorite books, but now i can only remember half of them: island of the blue dolphins, the witch of blackbird pond, ella enchanted, walk two moons, and mrs. frisby and the rats of nimh. can you tell i had one of those bookmarks that listed all the newberry award winners and was working my way through it? lol.

Currently Reading: i just finished my reread of maskerade, the discworld book about the opera, which i had put on hold after reading le fantôme de l'opéra. it wasn't one of my fave discworlds as a teen but i think i'm now in the right headspace for it. enjoyed it quite a bit!

i'm near the end of both the traitor baru cormorant by seth dickinson and par amour by valérie tong cuong. the latter is about a family in le havre during wwii and is very hard to put down. i have honestly no idea what will happen in the remaining two chapters except the nazis are going to lose the war. the traitor baru cormorant is well done, but i don't think i like it enough to read the sequel. (i still am pathologically unable to stop a book that i've started, but i've just discovered that i am capable of stopping after book 1 of a series. life hack!!)

Currently watching: natsume season 4 dub! i just watched the moon-splitting festival arc and the baby nanase episode yesterday. next up is the one about natsume's picture of his parents which. like. let's just say i am marshaling my emotional forces for that one.

also it is about to be march madness! selection sunday tomorrow babey!!!

Currently consuming: the great thing (sarcastic) about living alone is that you spend four hours making this quinoa black bean dish and then have to somehow eat all of it before it goes bad. luckily my neighbor and i have been doing this cute thing for the last ~6 months where we share whatever food we make with each other. this has been working out extremely well for me, because when he cooks i get to eat without having to do anything whatsoever, and when i cook i don't have to worry as much about quantity. i feel like i tricked him into it somehow even though he is getting exactly the same thing out of it as i am.

Currently craving: a baked good i made for the first time recently and then made again two times in rapid succession because i (and my neighbor lol) liked it so much: gingies! okay technically the recipe calls them gingerbread cookie bars, and i just looked up "gingies" (to make sure it's not an offensive term for redheads that i don't know about) and apparently it's frequently used for gingersnaps, but MY use of "gingies" is right and correct and all these other people are idiots. the reason is that they're basically brownies (texture/structure/technique-wise) but with the gingerbread flavor profile instead of chocolate. and "gingeries" sounds stupid, so gingies it is!

tagging @treecakes, @joelletwo, @qserasera, @defeateddetectives, @ctl-yuejie, @deimos-the-wolf, @stupid-lemon-eater, @loreofcardigan, and @dangerliesbeforeyou if you feel like it! no pressure obvi!!

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Top 10 Best Polish DUBs part 2

6. The Ice Age franchise, similar to the Shrek and Madagascar franchises, seems to be way more popular and liked in Poland than in the USA. While the general sentiment in the US is that the first one is somewhat of an underrated classic and the best and every single one got only worse and worse. Meanwhile, in Poland, its sequels are held in much higher regard. Yet again, it's thanks to the funnier dialogue and much better voice actors. Sid became an iconic character just like Donkey from Shrek or King Julian from Madagascar, most likely thanks to the fantastic work of Cezary Pazura, an actor and voice actor who makes everything he's in so much better. Piotr Fronczewski as Diego is also great with his warm fatherly voice he sounds way more sincere. If Diego had the same voice in the English version he would have even more simps fans. Wojciech Malajkat is great as Manfred. He would later voice Puss in Boots from Shrek. As the franchise went on not only the quality of writing went downhill but also they started casting celebrities instead of the real VAs or even regular actors. Queen Latifah, Drake who was in like 5 minutes of a movie.

7. Winx Club is way better in Polish, in my opinion. I don't know if it's because their VAs aren't actual teenagers who don't have as much experience, or if they're adults trying to sound like teens and failing miserably, or if their voices are just that annoying. Whatever the case might be the Polish actors strike a great balance between sounding mature but youthful at the same time. Like teens that are on their way to becoming adults but still with some childish tendencies. Not a twelve-year-old trying to sound grown-up or a 40-something-year -old trying way too hard to be cool and hip with the kids. And Polish versions of the songs are amazing.

8. Totally Spies makes their heroins sound way more mature just like Winx Club. To not repeat myself let me tell you about something different, the dialogue changes. It's not censorship or completely changing the meaning of the dialogue but the vocabulary. In the show, they are very much Valley girls. In the Polish version, they still use slang that was (and still is) used in Poland at the time but they also were capable of using big words. Maybe English slang is more annoying, at least to me.

9. W.I.T.C.H. BLAH BLAH better and more mature voices BLAH BLAH better and funnier dialogue BLAH BLAH. What is worth mentioning are the voices of the male characters. Caleb's English VA doesn't fit him whatsoever. I know Greg Cipes sounds like that even as an adult but still. If Caleb looked like his comic version he would be fine but not when he looks like he is 18 or older. Imagine my shock after growing up with the Polish deep manly voices only to watch the English version and hear boys who haven't finished going through puberty yet. I've heard that the Polish language is sometimes referred to as snake language because of the ć, ś, ź, ż, sz, cz, and many other sounds, so Cedric's VA has a time to shine. English Phobos sounds more whiny than menacing.

10. Shark Tale is regarded as one of the worst animated movies ever both in terms of animation and the story. Highly exaggerated in my opinion. I mean it's not great but it's not Food Fight, Video Brinquedo, Animated Titanic, and many others. I think why it's not as hated by me and many other Poles it's thanks to its dubbing. I don't know if you know this, but there is a Polish comedy ''Kiler''. The whole plot of the movie is that the main character is mistaken for a killer. So, the Polish dubbing of Shark Tale is basically a parody of this movie. They even got Cezary Pazura (the guy playing Sid) who played the main guy in ''Kiler''. Instead of gay-lisped Jack Black we have Jarosław Boberek aka King Julian. Now that's a team-up better than the Avengers.

It was a surprisingly hard list to make, not because there are no great Polish dubbings but because there are so many good ones. Any movie or show could've been on the list. To make it easier I asked myself ''What Polish dubbings are better than the original?'' and ''What dubbings had the biggest impact on me but also on my country as a whole?''.

The reason why most of the list consists of shows and movies from the early 2000s is because that's when Poland had a little golden age. There were a bunch of great movies and shows coming out, so it was easy to strike gold. (And that's when I was born.) Now with all the trash coming out, it's way harder to do. The translators for ''Wish'' tried their best to fix those broken lyrics.

But nobody's perfect. I'm a firm believer that there is no terrible Polish dubbing but they still can make mistakes, questionable decisions, and voices that will make you switch the channel until they stop talking.

See you soon, in ''Top 10 worst Polish DUBs''.

[capriciouscaprine]

good morning!!!!! I had good number news this morning!!! lotsssss of numbers below, just fyi

I haven't really talked about my goals or current numbers on here, in part bc I was worried that if that was one of the first things I posted, whatever flagging bot gets used on here (I know, it's mostly crusaders who go thru the tags and mass repo blogs that gets us distapeared) would see those things and I'd be on their no-fly list immediately

plus, there's something to be said for the fear of saying something out loud, when I've not been the sort of person to stick to hobbies and things before

BUT

last week, I hit a goal of $125.4 (iirc), which means I hit a simultaneous goal of a 'healthy' -$5/month for 15 months straight, for a total of -$75.00 from my starting balance of $200.00

which, I honestly was having trouble being excited about hitting that goal bc of our common habit of rounding up, so any decimals next to that number it feel like I hadn't actually hit it, and I had worked REALLY HARD to get there, including a multi-mile treadmill walk and everything

BUT

my check in day is monday (start the week off informed!); on tuesday the monthly obnoxiousness started, and most of us who experience that will skip check in days that are close to it bc it messes with our bodies so much, so our measurements will be inaccurate

then, last week was spring break for my internship, but it's only two days a week, so I spent two days last week almost entirely sitting at my computer, working on my course work

meanwhile, in the same week, I clocked THEE MOST hours at my almost entirely outdoor, moderately physical job in about six months aka since about mid-fall, as late fall thru early spring is our slow season and things are now picking back up; I spent the week planting seedlings, repairing fences, running around after babies, and doing deeper cleaning now that things are warmer and deep bedding isn't so much of a priority

which, I spent last summer consistently dropping without thinking too much about it, tbh, and I'm pretty sure now that it's bc of this job (there was other stuff like switching from regular ice cream to halo top, etc, but on the whole I wasn't doing things like counting and I hadn't even made this blog yet)

and for meals this week, I seemed to average just about 1k; some days were higher and others were lower, some days I felt like an unwilling black hole and others I was just... fine after eating a small lunch/dinner (I keep weird hours, it was the final meal of the day for me, idk); plus, no semi-fraught Easter lunch with my family

SO

that brings us to today's check in

$123.2

officially, for realsies, under that $125.00 goal, and also the amount I claimed on my drivers license bc I thought it was funny and it was only a little lower than my actual amount BEFORE UNIVERSITY, AND very genuinely really close to a secret goal I've had since I heard it as a song lyric in 11th grade: $120.00

I know, it's such a silly thing to base a goal off of, and really highlights just how pervasive unrealistic body standards are, that some man stated it as the measure of a fictional grown woman he was writing about who you KNOW he envisioned as being 'curvy' and taller than a literal child

but I'm still gonna hit it

and yep, I'm once of those people who have reduced their goals over time; you think a number sounds really low, and then you find out how much people who look the way you want to measure in at, and realize that if that's where you wanna be, this number isn't going to have you looking like that unless it's mostly muscle, and I'm for sure not mostly muscle

anyways, introspection on societal pressures out of the way, this morning's breakfast was a 1/3 of a cup of egg substitute (50), two low f 'canadian bacon' slices (20 each for 40 together), a slice of lite toast (45) with lite country crock spread (about 1/2 a tblsp, so half of 35), and my coffee (25), so that's a relatively high f and protein breakfast for just under 200 (and of course we round up to the bigger whole number!)

I was hoping to feel satiated from that, but it's not quite hitting like yesterday's grilled cheese did; ah, well, just one more data point to take note of!

now, fingers crossed I can finish this presentation before work this morning!!!

[kimium]

Music Tag Game!

I was tagged by @m34gs (in this post). Also doing this in a new post because I don't like it when posts get cluttered. I love doing these, but bold to assume I have ten mutuals/followers to tag.

Also, time to out myself for majority of my songs are not mainstream music...

Rules: When you see this, post 5 songs you actually listen to and tag 10 of your followers/mutuals!

MWTWB by Amalee

The entire album by Amalee relates to her Vtuber character, The Monarch and the backstory to her. While I like all the songs on the album, MWTWB (Messing with the Wrong Bitch) is my favourite because it has strong Vil from Twisted Wonderland vibes. That's honestly a big reason why I love the song so much. However, besides that I love the entire theme of the song is "Fuck Around and Find Out". My favourite lyric to the song is, "Uh-oh! Keep making me mad and it will be off with your head." because I love a good Alice in Wonderland reference.

2. The Rumbling/Under the Tree by SiM

I know this is cheating, but I believe these two songs need to be listened in conjunction. These are the two openings to the final season of Attack on Titan. The Rumbling is written in Eren's perspective and Under the Tree is written in Mikasa's. What I love about these two songs is how they capture the essence of the two characters. Both have changed significantly since season one and this change has caused a lot of heart ache (and death).

Eren is focused on what he feels is his "duty" with lyrics such as, "If I lose it all, slip and fall, I will never look away." At this point in the series, Eren feels there is no other path he can take, no matter the cost.

Meanwhile, Mikasa's song has heartbreaking lyrics like "Where are you at? / Where have you been?" and "Why oh why, why oh why/Don't you want to stay with me?"

This truly feels like the two are in conversation with one another, with Under the Tree Mikasa's response to Eren's song. That kind of duality always gets to me in songs. I love when songs connect to one another and these two do it perfectly.

3. homura by LiSA

Oh look, another anime song. How predictable of me. Anyways, while most people cite Gurenge as their favourite Kimetsu no Yaiba song, I think homura is my favourite.

Even if this song wasn't from an anime, the lyrics to this farewell song are heartbreaking. Right at the beginning, the "Sayonara, arigatou koe no kagiri" ("Goodbye" and "thank you" at the top of my voice") pulls at my heartstrings. The next part, "Kanashimi yori motto daiji na koto" or, "What is more important than grief?" really hits me hard.

Also, my link is to LiSA's performance on The First Take and her voice is breathtaking. Absolutely stunning.

4. Avid by Hiroyuki Sawano

From the anime Eighty-Six, this soft, but powerful song always makes me want to cry. The repetition of "Don't you get there?/ It calls, it calls" makes this song feel haunting, like someone long gone talking to you. Which, given Eighty-Six's plot, makes sense.

5. Love From The Other Side by Fall Out Boy

Oh, look, a mainstream song that I could play at work and not be accused of only listening to anime songs. Finally, right? (Not that anyone accuses me of that, but they definitely could and get away with it.)

Uh, I know I've talked about this song in a prior ask somewhere on my blog, but to repeat myself: I like Fall Out Boy. I'm not a huge fan, but I have a smattering of songs from them that I really like. This is one of their newest songs and I was immediately hooked as soon as I heard the lyric, "What would you trade the pain for? Not sure". I'm just always here for songs that have questions to the listener that make you pause and think for a second. I also love the reference in, "We were a hammer to the Statue of David". My minimal two years of art history jumped in glee.

Time to tag. If this isn't your cup of tea, no pressure! Also if you dislike being tagged in things like this, let me know!

Tagging: @someobscurereference @a-little-harmed-shinra @shreedle @serenescribe @zeldabard and @lonery-w

[didasgomas]

I am here again to offer funny stuff to @mustangsart .... I guess ( there was a problem before so that's why I'm posting this one all over again )

Mustang offers angst to his fans and I offer memes to him . Except that I'm not the only fan who does that and this time it's not all memes

I'll be calling the deer / Mary statue / Alt!Thatcher alternate just Deer cause it's much easier . And the one interaction with Preacher is not meant to be a prediction , this is all just for the funzies

But anyway , you're here for the funni , so yeah

Deer : Come on , it's been two days! Go kill that human! Alt!Ces : Nuh-uh! Deer : The fuck you mean "nuh-uh" ?!

Deer : Hey dude , can I get a sip of that vodka? Six : It's not vodka . Deer : Vinegar! I like your style! Six : It's orphan tears . Deer : Wot? Six : It's orphan tears , you puss-

[ Tbf if you haven't yet heard Orphan Tears 1 by Your Favorite Martian then I recommend you do . It's a very good song ]

( Now presenting : Interactions between Sus!Gabriel and his employees )

Gabe : I just need you to take out some people here and there , okay? Alt!Ces : On a date or to their deaths? Gabe : I- Just go already Alt!Ces : Okay boomer Gabe : You little-!

Gabe : Six , I have a job for you Six : Yeah boss? Gabe : I need you to be a parent Six : BITCH WHA-

Deer : Hey boss Gabe : Hmm Deer : So I've still got my attention on the blonde cop dude ; I've gotten rid of the identity crisis fucker like you asked ; and I've traumatized the tall white boy that I think he might end himself tonight Gabe : Good job Deer : Sooooo… Gabe : What? Deer : Am I one of your favourite employees now? Gabe : Haha no Deer : Awh :(

Meanwhile in the void *

Random alt 1 : Do you have an eight? Random alt 2 : No , go fish

Alt!Ces : * groan of boredom *

( Warning : Roasting Six ahead ) [ I can imagine Alt!Cesar with a british accent lol ]

Six : Pff , what are you gonna do? You're just a little hater

Alt!Ces : I'll tell you what , you fat little cunt! You're boring , you don't sound scary at all , so go fuck yourself in the dirty corner you came from , you dirty little baby-eater who puts on chapstick!

Six : … Gabe : Wow

Alt!Ces : Okay , the baby-eater part was probably a little bit overtop , but at the end of the day you're fucking boring! Every single newbie alternate who admires you are all stupid , they're ignorant , they're fat little cunts like you!

Deer : Don't listen to him , he's just jealous cause he's single- Alt!Ces : The creator doesn't even- Deer : -hated Alt!Ces : Huh? Deer : The fans both love and hate you ; me and Six are hated on all sides

Alt!Ces : I'm gonna jump! Six : No , don't jump! * Runs to get a camera * Six : Okay , jump now! Deer : Do a flip!

Alt!Ces : And then he says that … He's my friend Preacher : Oh my Gabe , I DON'T FUCKING CARE!

Hope you have enjoyed this bunch of non-sense

[whatsarasaid]

9 People to Get to Know Better

Tagged by the always lovely @lordbhreanna.

1. Three ships: In general, you can just say the word 'partners' and my ears will perk up like a German shepherd who's just heard a slice of American cheese crinkle open, but here are three that my AO3 history says I've read in the past six months.

(Answers below the cut because this got long).

Jyn Erso/Cassian Andor (Star Wars): War refugees finding purpose in self-sacrifice to higher ideals. Brief comfort in each other while facing the horrors. Reading into the unsaid. This one is funny because it's had a lot of longevity for me although it's never lived in the hyperfixation category. The only time I like Star Wars is when it leaves the Jedi hocus-pocus and nostalgia references behind, which means Rogue One and Andor are my personal pinnacle of SW.

Simon "Ghost" Riley/John "Soap" MacTavish (COD): Similar to above, although the military propaganda bois here have less nobility in their cause. You know, it's that— “You want to be brothers-in-arms, to have him to yourself […] to be shipwrecked together, [to] perform valiant deeds to earn his admiration, to save him from certain death, to die for him — to die in his arms, like a Spartan, kissed once on the lips […] or just run his errands in the meanwhile. You want him to know what cannot be spoken, and to make the perfect reply, in the same language.” (Stoppard, The Invention of Love) Safe to say, my definition of romance includes camaraderie, devotion, banter, and gritted teeth. Also, the pro of one-dimensional video game characters is that fic writers can fill in the blanks with whatever they want, and this ship has some crazy-talented authors who flesh them out excessively well.

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson (Marvel Comics/Sony): This is my lazily-popping-Ritz crackers-into-my-mouth ship, although I'm very fussy with which fics I read from it. It's wild and irreverent and dysfunctional, but the heart wants what it wants, and sometimes, it wants the sassy vigilante who's experienced a lifetime of grief to get caught in tête-à-têtes with an unfiltered mercenary who can't die.

2. First ever ship: Probably Zelda/Link (Legend of Zelda). Ocarina of Time told me to go rescue the princess, and my kid-self went, "Yeah, let's go get my girl. We're in love, bb."

3. Last song: Vampire Empire by Big Thief.

4. Last film: Poor Things. A willful and visually extravagant satire that made me cry once, flinch constantly, and laugh scornfully throughout. It fearlessly addressed the many ways men attempt to control women in general and their sexuality in particular. It felt like watching a novel, which is difficult to do, and the triumphant ending was a nice reward.

5. Currently reading: The Self Under Siege by Firestone, Firestone, and Catlett and Exhalation by Ted Chiang. Both are excellent and have tight, elegant writing styles that uphold their even better— although very different—content. I picked up This is How You Lose the Time War by El-Mohtar and Gladstone from the library recently, too. Why yes, that is too many books to be reading at once, thanks for noticing.

6. Currently watching: Nothing at the moment. The last thing I watched was season two of The Bear.

7. Currently consuming: Black coffee.

8. Currently craving: BBQ pork buns and guava curd doughnuts from the long-closed Asian-Portuguese fusion bakery that used to be a couple of blocks from me. RIP RIP RIP. Craving never to be slaked.

Tagging: @her-satanic-majesty @primewritessmut @periodically-puzzled @elenafisher-wong and, of course, anyone who wants to participate and make it nine for me. Tell me what you're into these days.

[mean-and-rwde]

Volume 9 thoughts

[Spoilers, possibly]

[Rambling ahead]

I don't want to throw out all hope that V9 won't be absolute ""filler"", but it clashes too hard with the high emotions of the V8 finale.

If V8 was trying to be V3 (it failed), then I guess one could say V9 is like V4.

Except V4, while personally being one of my lesser-favorite volumes, does a nice bridge between the absolute chaos of the V3 finale to the V5 chaos. It's slower, a lot more dialogue heavy, and yet manages to remain somewhat true to canon without breaking it too much.

V9, however, looks to be a V1 - V2 ish theme but definitely not nearly as light hearted. I mean, they look to be in fucking wonderland (I heard it's called the Ever After, which is not much better, in my opinion). We've got talking mice among possibly other wild scenarios.

Meanwhile in Remnant (? I don't think Ever After is part of Remnant, I don't know tho):

- Atlas has become Atlantis (to quote my brother, who I guess heard it from a review somewhere?)

- Everyone who didn't fall into The Void / died when Atlas fell is now in Vacuo, the last standing kingdom.

- Vacuo is already very much struggling with what the citizens have. Now what's left of an entire kingdom has been dumped in as well.

- Salem has 2 / 4 relics needed to end the world and is on her way to Vacuo, where the last relic is being held.

- Cinder is still here. Like a damn cockroach

Side rant: I'm sorry, I just don't care for her anymore. I miss V1 - V3 Cinder, who was a legitimate threat and actually scary. Now she's an villain who is funniest when she fails. When I see her now, the sense of dread is more like "ugh this bitch again" instead of before where I was like "oh shit she's back what is she gonna do now?".

Adding her backstory in V7 (or was it V8? I literally can't remember) did nothing for me. It was way too on the nose, there was nothing subtle about it. And the song playing was basically beating the audience over the head with what was happening. It's too late to give her backstory, now it's completely unnecessary. It means nothing. And she has resorted to relying on the maiden powers in fights, makimg her fights boring and monotonous.

Also in Remnant:

- A shit ton of people fell into the void

- Penny is dead. Again. But permanently.

Meanwhile:

Our mains are in some weird wonderland like world where I'm guessing Neo somehow already has what looks like some sort of gang (in the intro, she's seen drinking tea with a bunch of shadowy people behind her).

There's also the mystery girl, who may have something to do with Ruby.

The intro hints that Ruby has become far more depressed and not nearly as hopeful as she once was. In the beginning, we see her as she transitions between her outfits over the volumes, while her emblem slowly fades.

While her team is running through various scenes, Ruby is dragging her feet, noticeably falling behind everyone else.

I hope this actually goes somewhere and makes Ruby + WBY + Jaune realize that they (especially Ruby) haven't made the best decisions as of late.

I haven't seen Episode 1, but I've heard some bits and pieces of it and I'm generally not thrilled. I know it's only the first episode, but I'm really not down for this whole wonderland shenanigans thing when the real world of Remnant is in danger of literally ending.

I don't know, it really feels like how when the White Fang arc was abruptly cut short and dropped (rip most of Blake's character). Things have gotten too heavy and too much, so the writers cut to something else entirely.

In this case, something comedic (or at least trying to be)

A / N 1: Apparently there's a con-man raccoon called Jinxy who is very... Stereotyped and racist. I have not seen this character, but from what I've heard... I don't think I want to know.

[imperatorium]

Please rant to us about how you hate how the narrative and everyone in Anna’s life treats her. Personally I’ve grown to hate frozen and I love hearing other people’s rants about the movie. The only reason I ever watch 1 and 2 now is because the animation is stunning in both movies but hot damn if both of them could’ve handled Anna and Elsa’s relationship better (Christopher is still based though and so is Hanz before Disney decided to make the most stupid plot twist ever for no reason and ruin a perfectly character because we can’t show kids that you can be attracted to two people romantically but still only truly love one so I just ignore that silly little development)

H A P P I L Y.

So, I love Frozen. But I also hate Frozen. I was just reminiscing with my partner about the day my ex-bestie (the at the time Elsa to my Anna) and I went to see it and were like thisisamazing.gif but then came home and started trying to explain it to my mom and realized, while we were talking about it, that actually...it...wasn't really that good. We thought we loved the music, but then we realized what we liked was the opening song that stylistically did not carry through to the rest of the movie and that...while "Let It Go" was, removed from context, an amazing entry into Idina Menzel's repertoire of powerful protest/don't-hold-me-back songs, within the story it's a completely unearned moment. But that's fine, this doesn't bother me anymore. I still cry when I hear it because that's just what Idina singing songs like that does to me.

And the second movie is banger as hell, honestly, even if there are some aspects of it that I'd change. The entire soundtrack is good, even though it's not good as a musical, considering that it suffers from the same problem that the first one does, in regards to all the songs stopping while there's still like 1/4 of the movie left. And in this case, the last song is the most devastating thing I've ever heard in my life, but anyway that's ok because "Show Yourself" makes me ugly cry every time and I don't know how to explain to anyone else how funny it was when as soon as the soundtrack came out, we jokingly predicted the "Quit Playing Games With My Heart" style music video that the scene would be in the movie. People were furious with us when we saw it the first time in theatres because we were laughing so hard we were sobbing. (It's a dumb song, though, content-wise and actually diminishes Kristoff as a character but that's besides the point.)

ANYWAY.

I don't even know where to start with this. Anna is such a brave and loving and loyal character to what I see as an extreme fault and the story uses that but never rewards it.

Hans was the first good thing that ever happened to her and I don't care what anyone says, that twist is so poorly written because at every single fucking turn that they could have subtly hinted towards it, they actively did not. It's not good writing to just suddenly take the sharpest left turn and then be like, "Ha ha, audience, we tricked you!" Like, yeah, I guess you did, because you did something out of nowhere that made sense with nothing else you chose to tell or animate before this, cool.

Kristoff, meanwhile...okay, full disclosure, I did see the first movie like two days after I broke up with a long-term (abusive) boyfriend and saw a lot of similarities between the two of them, so I may have been harsher on him than he deserved for a while. But overall, I do actually like him. He is a very funny character and I think there's something terrifying that we're not being allowed to explore about how he was kidnapped by trolls, but that doesn't change the fact that he was a jerk to Anna for the first half of the movie. Just unpleasant and negative to the point that he even was like, "Well, I would be ok with her dying save for the fact that she's getting me a new sled." Like he says that. And like ok, he does chill out as things go on and has the decency to tell his creepy troll family to fuck off with the wedding stuff when he brings her to them for the purpose of trying to prevent her from dying and all they want to do is sing their dumb song about how sometimes people should just change for you and you should like them even if there's stuff wrong with them that doesn't work for you, idk.

It came to me at a time when I was not interested in hearing people preach about how someone who hated you upon meeting you could suddenly become your true love and all you had to do was put work into changing them and also ignoring stuff about them that were negative qualities.

The only passage in that song I really feel has any meaning is when they point out that people do bad things when they're sad or scared or stressed. To that point, Kristoff hadn't really been any of those things and was still kind of a jerk. Maybe stressed. I don't know. This isn't about him. My point is like clearly they wanted to extend that to Kristoff and Elsa, but not Hans? Who is maybe the most validly sad, scared, and stressed person present besides Elsa??

I'm also not as mad about Elsa as I used to be, either, considering all her trauma is also super valid and she clearly suffers from severe anxiety and agoraphobia, forced on her by the way their parents treated her. So, like. That's fine, I guess. But she definitely spends 90% of both movies dismissing Anna and her capabilities, despite Anna constantly proving both her unconditional love and adventure prowess until the end of the movie where Anna does some big heroic sacrifice and then Elsa goes, "Oh, you saved me!" like it should be any kind of surprise at that point!!!

Also, literally all Anna ever wanted was for them to have a relationship again and they do, kind of, for a few years, but then Elsa makes the decision to go be queen of the forest with the new half of their family they just discovered?? Like, okay, girl, I guess. Priorities and choices.

Also also, the directors/writers themselves have said before that they kind of hate Anna and just want to...push her aside in favour of doing more cool shit with Elsa. Which you can see in Elsa getting the hero treatment in the first movie, despite Anna literally saving the day. Again in Frozen Fever which is like...cute, but also supposed to be about celebrating Anna's birthday when really it just becomes about ~poor Elsa getting so sick~. Like, geezus christ, girl, sorry that performing even a fraction of the effort that Anna does on the daily gave you a fucking cold.

I see it in Dreamlight Valley, too - which is really fun, but. All of Anna's personal quests are about the other two people in her life - desperately trying to get Kristoff to remember her (he gives up his memory of his love for her for a spell to help save the Valley) and then being like "Elsa seems sad, how can I cheer her up??" while Elsa's quests are all about herself and like most of Kristoff's are helping new friends or taking a fucking bath.

And that's just like insult to injury, too, because for a property that wanted to spend so much time pushing the "true love can also be familial" agenda - which I do believe in - all they really ever want to do is talk about Anna & Kristoff together in like any other version of the franchise after the first movie. It neuters Kristoff as a character, making his whole personality/goal in life about being Anna's Love Interest AND it makes all the work they put into being like "Anna being so into the idea of romantic true love is dangerous and silly" just seem MEAN, since they ultimately decided she should forever be bound to a man she ALSO KNEW FOR LIKE A DAY. (AT LEAST HANS WAS NICE TO HER ON THE WHOLE DAY THEY KNEW EACH OTHER.)

It does help that Anna is queen now, I'll be honest. It's the least she deserves, but I'm sure if there's another movie, they're just going to be like, "Well, sorry, she's barely in this one because she's queen now and has to you know, just stay here and rule Arendelle, like everyone else who ruled before her did." OH WAIT.

Anyway, this is super incoherent because I feel all over the place when I start yelling about what I don't like about Frozen but the moral of the story is that I love Anna and I love Hans and at least once a year, I have to watch both of these stupid movies and be like, "BABIES I'M SO SORRY ALL THESE UGLY ASS BITCHES WOULD SAY THIS ABOUT YOU."