#meaning when she finally woke up after being dead for a few days she not only didnt know what the fuck was happening

[lockedtowers]

‘would cassie have been better off if her family was in her life’ her dads the j/abberwock and the one who took her her conscious to physically kill her to unlock her powers its hard to say if she’s have the same level of trauma or worse trauma but she would have had a father who loved her. in his way. which is still kinda shit.

[insipid-drivel]

Baby Boomers had a cinnamon challenge they won’t talk about that may be the reason why toothpick-chewers in classic movies are seen as cool

My mother is 65 and right bang in the middle of the Baby Boomer generation, but she’s very cool and does her best to be and stay woke, keep up with shifts in vernacular, and takes care to do things like make sure she’s strict with getting pronouns correct, etc. Her meme game is a little lagging, and she only just discovered the cinnamon challenge. I was surprised to see her... not surprised. If anything, she seemed a bit pleased and said, “Yep, kids are still kids.”

I stared at her for a while. “What do you mean?” I asked her. She’s seen other ancient memes like planking and never had that reaction before. Seeing the cinnamon challenge was downright satisfying to her.

She looked me dead in the face and said, “Sweetheart, I grew up in a time when you could get crystal meth over the counter at the pharmacy. They were called diet pills then.”

“Whaaaaaaat.” I knew that Nazi Germany passed meth around like candy, but that was in the 30′s and 40′s. I had just figured it had been prohibited already in America by the time my mom was growing up. “Did you have a cinnamon challenge or something in school?” I finally asked.

She half-nodded and half-shrugged and said, “Similar. You couldn’t have candy or gum in school when I was growing up. It was about 1969 in San Francisco and parents were starting to limit cigarette smoking to kids under 18, too, so a lot of my school friends were squirming all day long with nothing to at least chew on.”

“What did they do instead, mom?” I asked suspiciously, because she would not bring this subject up after I had explained to her that the cinnamon challenge was dangerous because of how horrible it is to accidentally inhale it into your airways.

“Well... Back when I was in school, you could get cinnamon extract from the pharmacy. It was just cinnamon suspended in canola oil, and you could use it for cooking or treating a skin fungus. Stuff like that,” she explained. “So the boys at my school would take toothpicks and dip them in the cinnamon extract. That’s why chewing on a toothpick was so common back then. If you were trying to quit smoking or couldn’t have chewing gum, you could carry a little bottle of flavor extract about the size of a bottle of nail polish in your pocket and dip a toothpick in it. Then you’d have something to chew on that the teachers hadn’t banned, and you could hide them in your cheek easily.”

“So what did the boys at your school get into, mother?” I asked again. We were still on the topic of ridiculous memes. This had to go somewhere.

She smirked. “Well, after a while, the boys started noticing that the cinnamon extract from the pharmacy was spicy. It burned. So it started to get to be a challenge to see how many cinnamon toothpicks you could hold in your mouth at once. It got so bad that kids would get blisters and burns on their mouths from it, and you could tell if someone had a few of them tucked in their cheek in class because their face would turn red from the neck up like a cartoon.”

“Why have I never heard about this?”

She wasn’t done. “Finally, the teachers figured out what everyone was doing and it became a pretty big deal. Cinnamon extract started getting banned or restricted to adults. Then they banned toothpicks for sale to anyone under 18, too. That’s why it was a sign of being cool, particularly among guys, to walk around with a toothpick in your mouth. It either meant you had a fake ID or that you were 18.”

I stared at her for a long time. “Mom, why didn’t they just use hot sauce? It was California. Didn’t you have peppers?”

Without missing a beat, my 65-year-old mother replied, “Honey, we were white as fuck.”

[certaimromance]

𝜗𝜚 A Heart Matter.

Spencer Reid x Prentiss!reader

Series masterlist | ONE | TWO | THREE |

Summary: A few months after you left, Spencer thinks he sees you walking down the street, and his whole world is turned upside down.

Words: 3,2k.

TW: mentions of crime, trauma, death, pain and violence (normal warnings in the series). so much spoilers for s6 and s7. the events narrated occur after emily's "death". so much angst. read the dates carefully, especially the years, because there are some backward time frames that can confuse you if you don't pay attention!. english isn't my first language (sorry for my mistakes, be kind please).

Note: I'm so sorry, that's all I can say now.

Also, I thought about making this a series, but I'm not sure because I've never done one before and I've really only been writing here for about a month??? I'm trying hard.

♡ Enjoy! ♡

July 18th, 2011

The steady ticking of the wall clock echoed in Spencer's head as a reminder that his time in the session was ticking away, robbing him of the chance to express himself without sounding like a complete lunatic.

“I saw her.” He had to repeat it aloud after receiving a puzzled look from his therapist.

The woman pursed her lips. “In a dream? Are you having nightmares again?”

The lump in the agent's throat felt tighter and more suffocating, causing him to shift in his seat to hide it. He wanted to appear sane and focused, however much his next words were anything but.

“No.”

The therapist's intrigued look and the fact that she stopped writing in her notebook to give him her full attention made his hands tremble and his heart pound as he spoke again.

“I mean, I still have the same nightmares...but this, this is different.” Reid tried to explain hesitantly.

Since the day he found you lying in a pool of blood outside your sister's apartment, his mind had been tormented by the image and the guilt it caused him. The nightmares of seeing you again and losing you were a constant every night. Every time he managed to fall asleep, he woke up agitated, feeling again the emptiness of not having you by his side. And that was something his therapist knew better than anyone, because she forced him to write down every nightmare and tell her all of them.

Those bad dreams were supposed to be over, or so he had claimed for the past three weeks.

“How?”

“I wasn't asleep when I saw her.” Spencer finally blurted out in a slightly shaky voice. He had rehearsed the same conversation several times and always ended up feeling like a deranged man seeing ghosts. “I was on the street.”

That sentence instantly changed the tone of the conversation.

“It was after work, I went to buy some food because the case ended earlier than I thought. Her favorite Chinese restaurant is a few blocks from my apartment, we really liked to eat there...I bought some and when I came out, I saw her.” He paused for a minute, trying to mentally return to the moment that was relentlessly replaying in his mind. “She was across the street, buying flowers.”

He had to be quiet for a second, pausing to calm his own breathing. It was ridiculous, but the thought of you buying flowers again made him smile slightly.

You had always loved flowers and now he was supposed to bring them to your grave.

“I ran across the street as soon as I saw her, but I lost sight of her when a bus came across.” He said, struggling to finish his story.

“Spencer, listen to me.” The woman's tone alone let him know that she didn't agree with him at all. “It's normal to think we see someone we lost, it happens to several people. Maybe it was just someone who looked like her, and being near a place the two of you frequented contributed to the confusion.”

That was impossible because he would recognize you anywhere and there was no one else like you.

“You know the truth.”

Of course he knew.

He had been trying to live for six months knowing that you were already dead.

Six months of him trying to deal with your ghost. Six months of him on his knees begging for this to be just another nightmare. Six months of reliving the last time he held you in his arms. Six months of being dead in life.

“Yes, but she looked different.” He explained, receiving a puzzled look that prompted him to provide further clarification. “Her hair was shorter, much shorter. And if I were hallucinating her ghost, I'd see her the same way I saw her the last time, or maybe the time before that. It wouldn't be so different from the way I remember her.”

“You lost two important people on the same day, it's not about logic.”

From her reaction when he concluded his session, it was evident that she considered his perspective to be irrational and clouded by the effects of grief.

And maybe it was.

July 30th, 2011

A few days of missing therapies and locking himself up at work already had consequences.

It was the second time a case had ended earlier than expected and Spencer had to go back to his lonely apartment and find excuses to leave without feeling sorry for himself. It was hard for him to be in his own home without you, surrounded by the photos you always insisted on taking and framing to preserve moments that were now torture. So the best solution was to make unnecessary purchases or lock himself in the nearest library.

Anything was better than being locked in a room with himself, so he decided to read in a room full of strangers who provided the company he so desperately needed.

The bad news was that the library's closing time had come earlier than expected for unknown reasons, and life seemed to force him to face his reality on the busy streets of Virginia, taking every possible alternate route to delay his arrival home. He didn't want to have to open the door knowing that no one would be waiting for him, that you wouldn't be there asleep on the couch after watching a marathon of your favorite movies, or just trying to read one of his books so you could discuss it with him.

His mind was still hazy and his eyes were wandering through the shops of the city when a familiar and unmistakable figure appeared before his eyes, just a few meters away, coming out of one of the shops on the next street.

It was you again. Unmistakably you.

He started running without a second thought, but the streets were so crowded that it was hard for him to move through the mass of people. His heartbeat was out of control and probably everyone could hear him, but he didn't care about looking crazy, he just needed to get a little closer to talk and make sure it was you.

The city's public transportation seemed to be against him, because just as he was about to cross the street, not caring that the light was red, another bus crossed the street and almost ran him over. Just a few inches and the story would have been very different for him. Everyone on the street was whispering, car horns were honking and every now and then someone would ask him if he was okay or look at him like he was a psychiatric patient. But nothing mattered to him, there was only your image in his mind and the possibility of finding out if he was really going crazy or if your ghost was haunting him.

When he managed to cross the street, there was no sign of you, and his therapist's words echoed in his mind as a symbol of temporary insanity brought on by pain. Try as he might to ignore his conscience, there was no way to find you in the sea of people, and he had no choice but to enter the store where he thought he saw you coming out.

“A woman bought something here a few minutes ago, she had a bag slung over her shoulder.” Spencer spoke quickly as soon as he walked in and approached the local salesman. He paused only when the man nodded in confusion at his attitude. “Do you know her name? Where she's from? Does she come here often?”

The man's lips were sealed, he just waved his hand to let him know he would only talk for money. He didn't even flinch when Reid pulled out his badge and repeated that he was FBI. Anyway, the thirty dollars was the master key to get the information and the security camera footage, which was barely visible because of the poor quality.

“I don't know who she is, it's the first time I've seen her. There aren't many customers on my shift, and not everyone buys that many books.” He began to speak under Spencer's curious gaze. “She paid cash and bought a bunch of classics. And she had a limp.”

“Are you sure? Which leg was it?”

There was a short silence, which the salesman used to remind himself, and Spencer's nerves got even more out of control.

“I don't remember which leg it was but I was definitely limping. I noticed that when she climbed the ladder, I had to help her.”

January 11th, 2010

“Can we eat here?” You asked after reading the sign that said the restaurant's elevator was under repair. “There are a few tables.”

Spencer couldn't help but frown and let go of your hand to stand in front of you. His eyes searched for yours. “I thought you wanted to come up, the view is your favorite thing here.”

You two were at your favorite restaurant, a Chinese food paradise with the best view in city, according to your expert opinion. It wasn't the first time the two of you had been there, so you had already more than booked a table, and this one was on the third floor. Your favorite part of going there was seeing the moon.

And of course, Dr. Reid was the kind of guy who always paid attention to the little details. He remembered everything, and could probably tell what you were thinking just by looking into your eyes for a few seconds.

“Let me take you upstairs, please.”

His puppy-dog eyes and a single phrase were enough to get you to let him take you by the arm and lead you up the stairs at a slow pace. By the time you got to the second floor, he offered to carry you like a princess. You had no choice but to accept, especially since it had already taken you more than ten minutes to climb a single floor. The pitying looks from the other diners were starting to make you uncomfortable.

“Thank you, Spencer.” You mumbled as you reached the table and he pulled up a chair for you.

He smiled. He loved how you said his name and wanted to hear it for hours.

After you both sat down and made your requests, you spoke again. “Aren't you going to ask why I can't climb a ladder?”

“I won't ask you anything you don't want to answer.” He said simply.

You felt like you could tell him anything, even your darkest thoughts. Your sister had already talked about it. Either it was the Reid effect, or you were just madly in love with him. Both were quite similar in your view.

“I hurt myself while I was practicing ballet. I made a really bad move.” You spoke up after a few minutes of silence. He frowned when he heard you. He had no idea you played the sport. “I was supposed to have quit, so I didn't tell anyone. Only Emily knew. I didn't treat it until the injury got worse when I went out in the field on a case. That's how I retired from the FBI. My mom freaked out, and my left ankle was screwed up for my whole life.”

Before you turned your attention back to Spencer, you prepared yourself mentally for the sympathy he would undoubtedly show. The curious thing was that in his eyes, there was nothing but interest and gratitude for having allowed him to know more about you. That was what kept you talking.

“There's an operation to try to fix it, but recovery takes quite some time. I'd rather always take the elevator and avoid the stairs as much as possible than have to rely on Emily to take care of me for three whole months. She has work to do and would go crazy having to be my maid.”

“I would.” He said without hesitation. When you looked curious, he elaborated. “I'd take care of you.”

“For three whole months?” You asked, sounding rather incredulous and as if you thought maybe he was just being extra nice.

“For the rest of my life, if you let me.”

September 5th, 2011

“There's no way you could have seen her, Spence.”

JJ's eyes fell on his friend's not-so-shaky ones, and a part of her churned inside, not knowing what else to say to him. It was eleven o'clock at night, the first time in several days that Spencer had shown up at her house to try to find comfort and perhaps understanding.

“I know, I know it shouldn't be possible.” He replied and went back to pacing the room, trying not to make a sound. The last thing he wanted was to wake up his godson or his friend's husband. “But it was so real...maybe I'm crazy.”

“You're not.” She said firmly, getting up from her seat to give him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

At the time, even he didn't know for sure, and that made him fear that he had lost his mind. He was hungry for a love that he would never have again.

“You just miss her.”

No, missing was nothing compared to his feelings.

“It's more than that, much more. I haven't been able to catch my breath since she left.” He admitted, running his hands through his hair as tears formed. “I miss Emily, too, and I don't see her walking down the street.”

Silence fell over the room because no one had anything to say. There weren't enough words to describe the situation. The only sound that could be heard was the man's sobbing on Jennifer's shoulder, trying to be encouraged with words.

“It's going to be all right, Spence.”

He didn't say it out loud, but he thought he'd never get anything right in his life if all he wanted was you.

March 14th, 2010

The coffee he was carrying kept him warm as he made his way through the chilly FBI offices. Spencer wondered if the air conditioning had broken down when he reached the technical analyst's office and a conversation stopped him in his tracks.

“My take? She looks like she'll be Mrs. Reid one day.” Penelope's voice was heard after several loose sentences that the boy couldn't understand from the other side of the door. He figured they were talking about him and his relationship with you.

“I hadn't thought about Reid being legally part of my family until now.” Emily spoke next, letting out a few chuckles. “I'm going to have mini geniuses for nephews.”

“Stop it, we're just dating.” You spoke with some nervousness, still reeling from the implications. “It's not like we're getting married tomorrow.”

As he leaned against the wall by the door to hear better, Spencer couldn't help but feel a bit guilty about what he was doing. He knew it wasn't right to overhear other people's conversations, especially if they were about him. But he had a feeling he needed to know what you were saying about him when he wasn't around. It wouldn't hurt to just hear a little bit.

“Don't pretend you don't talk about future names for your babies, I heard you two.” Garcia spoke again.

“It was a random conversation.”

“About baby names?” She gave a little smile and raised an eyebrow.

“What I mean is that bringing things forward is not good.” You began to speak, completely ignoring the previous point. You were trying to be the voice of reason in the midst of their ridicule. “But I'd like him to be the one.”

“I think I'll shed a tear or two because you've grown up so fast.” Your sister commented in a teasing tone that hid quite a bit of truth. She gave your hand a quick squeeze and looked at you for a few seconds before speaking again. “What's up with that look on your face?”

You frowned. Spencer's heart seemed to stop beating for a moment. “What look?”

“You know which one I mean—the one you put on when the coffee runs out.”

Reid's hands began to sweat. He felt like a teenager trying to figure out what the girl he liked really thought of him. Did you ever have doubts about your relationship? Did you ever picture yourself with him in the future? Was he really the one for you?

“The scariest thing about love is getting hurt.” You said, trying to initiate the idea. Unfortunately, Penelope beat you to it and spoke up.

“I'm sure he wouldn't hurt you.”

“I know, I don't care about that.” You spoke up again after a few seconds, looking around the room as if lost in thought. “What if I do it? What if I break his heart?”

Oh, that was certainly not something Spencer was expecting to hear.

“How would you break his heart? Not answering his calls for five minutes and seven seconds?” Interjected Emily with a teasing tone to try to lighten the mood and get a smile out of you. “I don't think either of you would consciously hurt the other.”

And right after that, the protagonist of the discussion entered the room, causing the three of you to remain silent and pretend that nothing was going on. You could only smile when your boyfriend came in with a hot coffee for you and you saw the tender looks the two women gave you.

“Thank you.” You said.

“It's nothing.” He replied, pulling you close to surprise you with a hug that brought him close enough to your ear to whisper. “You could never break my heart.”

September 21st, 2011

Ian Doyle was only a couple of meters away.

Spencer's fist throbbed and burned, still stained with the blood of the man who had taken everything from him seven months ago. He knew he had done wrong, that he had promised everyone that he would only talk to the terrorist, and that he had done much more than that. The team had barely been able to get him out of the interrogation room because he was out of control with rage.

He wanted to make him feel a lot of pain and a minimum of what you and Emily probably felt that night.

“You need to calm down.” JJ came out of the meeting room to stop him before he could go in.

“I'm calm.” He replied, still trying to regulate his breathing. He could see his friend raise an eyebrow, and he decided to speak up again to avoid upsetting her. “This is about as calm as I can get right now.”

As soon as he was done speaking, Reid tried to keep going to the room, but the woman was in his way again and stopped him from opening the door.

“You have to be calm for what Hotch has to tell you. I mean it.” Jennifer said, after receiving a confused look. “What you're going to see now...”

“I'll be fine.”

Without giving her a chance to say anything else, he opened the door to the room. Spencer thought he'd find photos of the crime scene that ruined his life, maybe some testimony he didn't know about, or even the killer there. But none of that was true, and it made his heart stop.

“Hi.”

You certainly broke his heart this time.

[all-timelee]

To be loved || O.G.

//clearly I’m going through a bit of a phase here 😅\\

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: use of female pronouns

Masterlist

Being born blind certainly came with it’s challenges. It was something that made life difficult, for sure, but it also had it’s set of advantages.

Ominis had grown more than used to the dark world he navigated through daily, his other senses had seemed to adapt as well, almost overcompensating for the one he lacked. He considered himself to be a very perceptive person, especially due to the fact he lacked eyesight.

He’d been the first person to pick up on your change in attitude. His ears recognized your sudden dreary tone, he could almost feel your deamnor shift into one of resignation and weariness. It was so different from the Y/N he was used to, he wondered how no one else had noticed.

It bothered him, the way things had changed between you two, and while you tried to act like nothing was wrong, he knew better. You weren’t being rude when you turned him away, you were simply exhausted. He could tell you needed time to yourself – he had his own ways of knowing. You didn’t want to bother anyone if you could help it.

But it had been months of this and Ominis’ concern was growing by the day. The way you had become so distant with everyone, even the people who meant the most to you, was worrisome. And it just wasn’t you.

He’d spent countless days trying to approach you to talk, but the last thing he wanted was to make matters worse, so each time he found the courage to do so only to find the conversation falling flat at his hands.

When he finally managed to ask what was bothering you so much, you brushed him off, doing your best to assure him everything was normal. But Ominis saw straight through it all, despite how good at lying you thought you were.

But he dropped it. If you weren’t ready to talk, he wasn’t going to force you. At least, not yet.

—————————

“Have you noticed anything strange about Y/N lately?” Sebastian asked, pulling Ominis’ attention away from the parchment sprawled out in front of him.

“I can’t believe you’ve only just noticed,” the blonde remarked, turning his gaze towards the other boy with a sigh. “Of course I have.”

Sebastian frowned, tilting his head questioningly. “What do you mean? When did you notice?”

“I don’t know… maybe a couple months ago? I’ve tired to ask her about it, but she told me she was fine. Obviously, I don’t believe that for a second, but I can’t force her to tell me.” Ominis scratched absentmindedly at his arm, trying hard to keep his frustration to himself.

“I’m worried, Ominis. Poppy told me Y/N’s been having nightmares. They’ve gotten bad enough that she woke up screaming in the middle of the night.” That caught Ominis’ attention quickly, the blonde sitting up straighter in his seat.

“Y/N wouldn’t tell Poppy what they were about, but she seemed pretty concerned.”

Ominis could feel the frustration growing in his body. He was well aware it wasn’t fair to be upset with the girl, she was clearly dealing with something, but he just wish she’d confide in him. He hated that Y/N continued to suffer in silence when she was surrounded by friends who only wanted to help.

Ominis abruptly stood, leaving his things spread out on the common room table, making large steps towards the exit.

“Where are you going?” Sebastian called after him, looking bewildered.

“I’m going to find Y/N.”

He left without another word, walking briskly towards the Astronomy tower. He remembered Y/N telling him she liked to star gaze when she couldn’t sleep, maybe that was where he’d find her.

The walk there only took a few minutes at his quick pace, but he couldn’t help the unease that had crept into his body. As he approached the tower, he felt his heart rate begin to pick up its pace.

His thoughts were racing when he finally reached the top of the steps, taking them two at a time in search for her.

“Ominis?” Her voice was soft but surprised, and he stopped dead at the sound of it. “What are you doing up here?”

He approached you cautiously, unsure of what to say next, “I was looking for you.” He heard the small sigh that fell from your lips, the rustle of your clothes as you stood.

“Whatever it is, it’s probably best we wait until tomorrow. It’s late, Ominis. You should get some rest,” you spoke softly, causing the boy to frown. He should’ve expected you to dismiss his concern yet again.

“No,” he spoke firmly, completely aware that his body was blocking your way through. This had gone on too long, he would not let this continue.

“No?”

“No, Y/N. I can’t watch you suffer anymore and I won’t let you push the help I’m offering you to the side yet again.” He spoke with such conviction that it was almost a little intimidating, especially coming from someone as kind as Ominis usually was.

You weren’t going to crack that easily though. You gently placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to push him back enough you could squeeze through. “I’m serious, Ominis. I’ll be fine, just go back to the common room.”

His hand quickly wrapped around your wrist, keeping you exactly where you were. “If you can’t trust me to help you in your time of need then why should I trust you when you say you’re fine?”

Ominis hadn’t meant to sound so angry, but he could help the hurt slowly growing in the pit of his stomach. He considered Y/N one of his closest friends, (he sometimes thought of her as more than that), she was one of the few people he undoubtedly trusted. Did she not share that sentiment with him?

“Let go of me,” you said quietly. There was a slight tremor to your voice, betraying your emotions. He used his taller frame to walk you back to the railing behind you, his arms moving to trap you against the metal. Your eyes widened, unable to fight him off.

“Please, Y/N….just tell me what’s wrong,” his tone was softer than it had been before, his words full of desperation and genuine care. You could see the worry on his features and you could feel the walls you’d put up slowly cracking.

It was silent for a few moments, you debating on whether or not to confide in him, and Ominis desperately wanting to know what was plaguing you. The tension in the air was heavy and thick, it was getting harder and harder to breathe under the pressure.

Eventually, you sighed, giving in.

“No one asked how I was doing during our fifth-year. They put a wand in my hand and suddenly it was my duty to save Hogwarts. They gave me a role to play, a responsibility to uphold.” You paused, furiously trying to blink back the wetness steadily growing in your eyes. Ominis stayed quiet, allowing you to finish before giving his input.

“No one cared that I was a child dealing with the weight of the world. No one noticed or cared about how I was feeling, no one noticed how much it was hurting me. And every single person that should’ve known didn’t care.”

Ominis slowly moved his body back, a sense of shame washing over him. He hadn’t realized how much it all had taken out of you, and now he was forcing you to relive it for some selfish need of his.

“You all just looked at me and saw my magic, not the teenager who needed help.”

The sadness in your voice nearly broke Ominis’ heart, he nearly collapsed when the first sob reached his ears.

Without hesitation, he pulled you into his arms, wrapping his arms tightly around you, holding onto you with both arms as if his life depended on it. His face pressed against the crown of your head, letting you cry onto his shoulder while he held you close.

For a moment, you forgot all about the tears that were streaming down your cheeks. All your pain melted away the longer you buried yourself against him, feeling his heartbeat calm down your own heartache. His warmth radiated from him, warming you up in a way nothing else could.

After a few minutes, you calmed down entirely, feeling more relaxed than you had in weeks. You pulled back slightly from the embrace, looking directly at the blonde, wiping the tears from your eyes.

“I’m sorry you went through everything by yourself. If I’d known, I would’ve done more to support you,” he whispered, cupping your cheek in his palm. “And I’m sorry I didn’t notice how much pain you’ve been carrying until now.” His thumb caressed the corner of your eye, wiping the remnants of stray tears.

“I didn’t tell you all of that for an apology, I’m not angry, Ominis,” you assured, leaning into his touch. “It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you.”

“It still hurts to think I failed to notice all your struggles.”

“You and Sebastian were dealing with struggles of your own, it’s okay.”

“Struggles that you helped carry. You went out of your way to help so many people, the least we could’ve done was notice how much you were cracking under the pressure.”

Without much thought, you placed your hand on top of his, pulling your lips up into a small smile. “Don’t do that to yourself, Ominis. Stop blaming yourself. You’ve always been a source of light for me, I promise.”

His eyebrows rose in surprise, “Really?”

“Really. I’m grateful to have met you.” Your words made Ominis blush deeply, making your heart skip a beat. His own smile grew wider once he recovered and he brushed the tip of his finger across the edge of your mouth lightly. A shiver ran down your spine, your heart pounding in your chest.

“I wish to always be that light for you, Y/N. If you’ll have me.” His expression seemed pleading, begging for your answer.

As if on instinct, you leaned in to press a quick kiss to his soft bottom lip. A soft gasp escaped you as soon as he responded by placing his fingers on either side of your face, deepening the kiss.

His lips were warm against yours, his tongue slipping between them and exploring every inch of your mouth. You couldn’t contain the sigh that left your lips, relaxing into him as he continued the kiss.

This was what you wanted, you told yourself. To be loved like this. To be desired. And you found it, in the arms of another human being, you found happiness.

[aethon-recs]

Love the blog!

Wondering if you have any Tomarry/Harrymort case-fic/mystery recs?

Thanks so much for the ask! I also can’t get enough of the casefic/mystery genre.

Usually I throw together a mix of both WIPs (why WIPs?) and complete fics, but for this set of 15 recs, I selected for fics which are either complete or still actively updating, so as not to leave you on a cliffhanger on a mystery fic! A few of these fics are outright casefics, and a few of these have a mystery component where the big reveal comes to light as the story unfolds. Hope you enjoy!

*

Tomarrymort Mystery Recs

aurora polaris by @aglassroseneverfades (E, 153k, WIP)

Harry wakes up one day with no memory of his past, upon which he’s greeted by a handsome, doting older man named Gaunt who claims that he and Harry have been in a relationship together for years. 

Blood in the wine by @girl-with-goats (E, 31k, complete)

Tom Riddle achieves immortality by the means of vampirism. Enter young copper Harry Potter, fresh recruit from Scotland Yard, sent to investigate the mysterious disappearances of all the young men who uncannily look like him.

Corpse Party: Hogwarts Edition by @robinegberts (E, 67k, complete)

Harry, Hermione, and Ron skip the Halloween feast, only to wake up to a world where the castle isn’t right. It’s cold, empty, quiet. The layers of dust suggest it’s been abandoned for years. And outside the classroom lies the corpse of a girl who went missing years ago. As they wander the halls of this strange alternate version of Hogwarts, they encounter corpse after corpse, warnings left behind by the dead, and for some reason Harry feels they’re being followed.

Dead Leaves on a Wet October Day by @trelloreads (T, 29k, complete)

Harry is a ghost hunter. Riddle Manor is his strangest case yet.

Everything We Dream Can Be Real by @vdoshu (E, 52k, complete)

Harry had a life after Voldemort. He had a family. He had a career. And then one day it was all ripped away when he woke up at Number 4 Privet Drive. Or: Where Harry doesn’t exactly get that chance to do it over again. And things are Not Okay.

Keepsake by IceLynx (M, 5k, complete)

“I am Lord Voldemort, and I have not kidnapped you.” “That's... I should have known that.” Because Voldemort's words ring true, deep in Harry's heart. Harry tries to remember, but the thoughts won't come to him. The more he forces it, the more obvious the gaps in his memories become. “Why didn't I know that?”

Let's Cross Over by @whisprchrysalis (M, 251k, complete)

A hundred years after the end of the Second War, Harry Potter, Master of Death, unwittingly helps the last fragment of Lord Voldemort’s soul escape Limbo. Now, bound to Tom Riddle for the next five years, Harry has to coexist with the man he feared the most. Or: Auror MOD Harry and Tom Riddle strike an uneasy truce and solve crimes together, and Harry has to decide if his capacity to save everyone includes everyone, really.

love seeping from their guns by @purplemineralwater (E, 41k, complete)

Detective Harry Potter is just trying to enjoy his holiday when the tranquility of the lovely cruise along the Nile is shattered by the discovery that Theodore Nott has been shot. He was young, rich and beautiful, a boy that had everything – until he lost his life. Or: Harry investigates some murder, Tom tries to help, everyone has many, many secrets.

No Body, No Crime by @duplicitywrites (M, 20k, complete)

Harry works as a car mechanic in a small town. He and Ginny are best friends, their close bond the product of a traumatic event that scarred them both as children. One day, Ginny confides in Harry that she thinks her husband—the charming, enigmatic Tom Riddle—is cheating on her. A day later, Ginny goes missing. Harry is convinced that Tom is behind her disappearance, and becomes determined to exact justice by any means necessary.

One Year In Every Ten by @saintsenara (E, 165k, WIP)

A decade after the final battle, just when the wizarding world thinks itself safe, a serial killer emerges, leaving a trail of dead women in his wake. Each of the bodies bears a gruesome message for the Aurors. A message which claims the Dark Lord has risen again. All Harry wants is something to distract him from a marriage falling apart at the seams. Maybe his latest plan to save the world, requiring Lord Voldemort to agree to turn his talents in the realm of wrongdoing to solving the case, will be just the thing…

Personal Assistant by @phantomato (E, 10k, complete)

Harry receives a mysterious package. Inside is a ring. A weird, ugly, old one made of gold and some kind of black stone.

Reconciling with Death by Madame_Psychosis (M, 27k, complete)

Featuring a dead girl in a forest, little-soldier-boys, some tenuous grasps on reality, straw mothers, a ghost in a bathroom and, slowly and sadly, kindness from a boy who’s just passing through time.

The Matchmaker by @eris-dawn (M, 44k, complete)

The Matchmaker is a serial abductor whose modus operandi consists of pairing two same-sex individuals together in a coffin, six feet underground - buried alive. He isn't a killer. He's a kidnapper with morals, and Detective Chief Inspector Tom Riddle finds himself obsessed with solving the case. Unfortunately for Tom, the Matchmaker is just as intent on knowing him.

Tom Riddle and the Quest for Vulnerability by lejf (E, 16k, complete)

They found him in an old house, under the stairs. His face was pale and instantly recognisable. aka: Auror Harry Potter has eighteen-year-old Tom Riddle bent over the table barely a day after he becomes his ward.

Wings of Ash by IceLynx (M, 31k, complete)

If eight people going missing isn't cause enough for panic, one of them being found dead might do it. The Ministry of Magic has no choice but accept all the help on offer, including that of former Auror Harry Potter. For Harry, it might be a chance to get his job back, if he can only crack the case first. Surely Harry can be forgiven if he too takes all the help that's offered. Including that of his pet snake, the former Dark Lord Voldemort.

*

[iikatsukii]

His duties will not die.

synopsis: what if it was lo’ak and not neteyam…?

pairings: Lo'ak x TwinFem!reader, Sully family x Daughter/sister!reader

warnings: death mention & swearing.

word count: 1.8k

a/n: i wrote this first thing when i woke up this morning i had to get it out my head. also i love emphasizing words with red text. also also i totally forgot to make this clear but you are lo'ak's twin sister, koa. the story takes place like 3 years after wotw.

it was always his fault. 

it was always going to be lo'aks fault. 

no matter what he did, how hard he tried, what he sacrificed, it would always somehow wind down to being lo'aks fault

… even if what he sacrificed was himself. 

"koa…"

you ignored your father as you had been since your twin died. the day your brother's life left his eyes in your arms was the day you vowed to never speak again if the person who understood you most was lying lifeless in your arms. 

"koa, it's been years babygirl. will you please just talk to us? please, we're all hurting. we all miss him. just please say something. anything." jake would do the same thing every day. beg and plead with you to talk to him or anyone on the island. having twins was already demanding, but it's even more complicated when one dies in the other's arms. and as if it couldn't get any worse, you went mute after your brother died, so jake felt as if he had not lost one but both of his children. 

you never slept or ate with them anymore, too focused on pulling your weight in the clan. you knew deep down your father didn't really want you to talk to him. he just didn't want to have to feel like he's lost another child. and to you, nothing else in this world could make you angrier. you spent years listening to your father grovel at your feet, begging you to say something to him. and suddenly, all those years went to waste when you finally snapped at him.

"you do not miss him." your voice was hoarse but not completely gone, as you would still speak every now and then. but it was only when you were alone or with payakan. you wouldn't sleep, so you would sneak out of your marui to visit your twin's soul brother, knowing he was the only other being in the world who knew how you felt. 

that was the first thing you had said to anyone in almost 3 years, and honestly, it hurt your father's feelings. 

"koa, you cannot say that," jake tried to defend himself, not expecting his daughter's first words to him in 3 years to be dripping with poison as she spoke to him. he was confused. why were you acting this way? 

"oh, so now i cannot speak because you don't like what i said? well, it's fucking true. you did this exact same shit to him all the time. do not try it with me, it wont work." you yelled at him.

"watch your mouth young lady." your father kept trying to give you warnings because he knew this wasn't you. he knew you were just speaking out if hurt and that you didn't really mean what you were saying… right?

"no! fuck you! this is all your fault. if you hadn't put so much pressure on him, he would still be here. it was always his fault, his fault, his fault. TAKE FUCKING ACCOUNTABILITY. HE WAS YOUR SON. HE WAS RAISED BY YOU. YOU TAUGHT HIM HOW TO BE HIM. ALL HE WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO SEE HIM. ALL HE WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO BE PROUD OF HIM. HE DIED TRYING, AND YOU STILL DON'T SEE HIM AND YOU NEVER FUCKING WILL BECAUSE HE'S DEAD AND ITS ALL YOUR FAULT" every sentence was paired with a punch, a push, or a shove to your father's chest. honestly, jake just stood there and took it. you were his daughter, and you were hurting, so if you needed to punch and push him a few times to release some anger, then he would allow it. at this point, jake was willing to do anything for your forgiveness.

"koa, i understand that baby girl, but you have to heal now. you've been overworking yourself, not eating, baby, you barely sleep. this can't go on anymore. i can't allow you to keep killing yourself. i can't lose anyone else." your father said, tears clouding his eyes as he took in every word you said. 

you were right; looking back on all the times he had lectured his children, he couldn't even count on his fingers and toes how many of those times it was only lo'ak getting in trouble. jake is only now noticing how he would always treat you and lo'ak differently even though you were twins. to him, you were his princess, his baby girl, his fiercest daughter, and lo'ak was nothing but an immature warrior who wasn't ready for the world, let alone any raids. 

"oh, but it was okay to lose him?" you asked, voice already hurting because of all the screaming you had done.

"i didn't say that-" jake tried to explain, but you cut him off.

"NOBODY HERE CARES." you screamed, pushing away a bit harder this time, causing his frame to shift slightly. he gently held your forearms, trying to keep you within arm's reach so you wouldn't slip away from him.

it was quiet. 

"we are supposed to be pulling our weight in this clan. i do not care if you think i am killing myself. his duties will not die with him."

your older brother was tired of your silent treatment, as his father called it. he felt like you were being selfish. everyone lost lo'ak. it wasn't just you. the whole family had experienced a loss, and instead of coming together as you guys should have, you distanced yourself. you made it hard for the family to know how you were feeling or even what you were doing. they could almost always never find you. you were always out fishing or with tsireya weaving baskets and making jewelry for the little girls and boys of the clan. 

you would also sometimes talk to tsireya. well, not really talk. your brother's girlfriend had immediately respected that you had gone mute after the whole situation. if she had enough self-control, she would probably be right there with you. she taught you sign language upon your request so that you could still communicate with her. since you two were the only people close enough to really see lo'ak, you became inseparable, much to ao'nungs dismay. 

"koa, let it go. the whole family lost someone. this isn't only about you–" your older brother tried to get you to snap out of your little pity party, but then you snapped at him. 

"NO! I WILL HUNT MY PORTION AND CONTINUE UNTIL I CATCH FOR LO'AKS SHARE. I WILL WEAVE MY BASKETS AND CONTINUE UNTIL I HAVE WEAVED LO'AKS SHARE. I WILL TRAIN UNTIL ECLIPSE, THEN TRAIN MORE TILL MORNING FOR THE TIMES LO'AK SHOULD'VE BEEN TRAINING. THIS WAS NEVER FUCKING ABOUT ME," you yelled at your elder sibling, having pulled yourself from your father's grip upon hearing the bullshit that was coming out of his mouth. 

"it was his decision to go after the spider! he's dead because of the choices he made–" neteyam said. he knows in the back of his head he didn't really mean it, and he made a mental note to apologise to you later when you're not both about to rip each other's heads off in the heat of the moment. 

"IT WAS MY IDEA," you screamed at him, tears spilling down your cheeks. the whole family gasped; they were confused, especially neteyam and kiri. it was lo'ak who came to him with the idea of getting spider back, so…

"what are you talking about?" kiri voiced what everyone was thinking.

"it was my idea. i knew how much spider meant to you, kiri. you're my sister so i couldn't not do this for you. we had to save him. i convinced lo'ak that if he could get nete on board with the plan that we could go after spider and save him. if only lo'ak hadn't-"

"LO'AK ISN'T HERE." neteyam yelled at you. he didn't know where the volume or energy to yell came from. he was tired of being reminded of the brother he had lost. this wasn't something he wanted to keep reliving. 

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?! NONE OF YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO FEEL THE OTHER HALF OF YOUR HEART BE RIPPED OUT OF YOUR CHEST. IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES NO LESS."

"koa…" your mother finally spoke, pulling you into the hug you'd needed for the past 3 years. giving you the warmth that you could've used when you were crying yourself to sleep. sharing the comfort that has been passed around the family, and now, it is your turn to experience it. 

"sa'nu, he pushed me out of the way. he saved me and risked himself. he put his life on the line for me. my twin brother is dead and–" you said, sobbing into your mother's embrace as your father and little sister, tuk, slowly joined. 

"koa, my child… your brother is with the great mother eywa now… he is safe. if you want we can go to the tree of voices right now to visit him." your mother offered the thing that brought her to ease the most, visiting lo'ak at the tree of voices. 

you hadn't dared go anywhere near the cove of the ancestors after your twin died. you didn't dare to face him. worried that he'll lecture you after seeing what you were doing to yourself. he would probably find a way to blame himself too. 

"i don't want to see him. i want to be with him… i miss him." you cried, kiri and nete having joined the family hug as well. 

your anger had long since died down. after 3 years of pent-up emotion, you finally felt like you had people to support you. but as you looked into your mother and father's eyes, you said the one thing your family needed to hear. the one thing they needed you to say so they could properly help you. 

"my twin brother is dead, and it is my fault..." you cried to your parents. you don't really think it's jakes fault 

you think it is yours. 

your family was at a loss for words, so neytiri and jake decided that no words were meant to be said. they would determine what steps to take toward your healing tomorrow morning, but right now, they just needed to be there for you and be the parents you always needed them to be.

they wish their boy didn't have to die, trying to prove that he is beneficial to this family and not only seen as a burden. they wanted to be the parents that lo'ak always needed to be. the ones who love and do not lecture. the ones who were open-minded and didn't give orders. if only they could be those of parents for lo'ak, even if it just for one second.

[kingaegond]

Mean! Aemond x Chubby! Wife (Ilirigho)

Warnings: Angst, Pregnancy, Smut, NSFW, +18

Author's note: A few months ago i asked @tinfairies if I could write about them and I finally wrote it, hope you like it!

-

The last few weeks had been stressful for Aemond and his wife, as he was crowned and named Prince Regent, upon Aegon's accident. After the dead of Aegon's children, the Council pressured Aemond and his wife to have a heir and his wife was cruelly criticized by the ladies of the Court for not conceiving, yet.

-

Y/N woke up and her husband was gone. Since he had taken the crown as Prince Regent, he never woke beside her as he used to. She trully missed how the sunlight shined on his hair and his eye and safire when she would see him wake.

A maid knocked on the door and walked into her chambers to help her get ready for the day. She spend her days reading in the library waiting for the night, when her husband would come to her. But today, she felt different, she wasn't as hungry as she used to be and on the afternoon, she fainted, being carried away just in time by her maid and a Kingsguard. It was night already and she woke up in bed, the Maester was smiling at her and she felt a bit confused.

-Princess, I have positive news, you're with child, shall I inform the news to the Prince Regent?

-No, no. I want to be the one to tell him. She felt glad, Aemond and her had been trying for so long and even thought it was scary to bring a child in times of war, it was also hope for the future.

She stood up with help from her maid and walked to the Small Council to look for Aemond.

She knocked softly and opened the door. Even with a frown on his forehead, Aemond looked beautiful in the candlelight. It always made her a bit unsure, she never told him, but she was familiar with the talk of the Court ladies, that criticize her for her plump bossom, her belly and wide hips, going as far as to say thay she wouldn't conceive because Aemond wouldn't touch her, which was far from the truth.

-Valzȳrys, can you come to bed? There's something I want to tell you. She said sweetly.

-Can you see I'm occupied? His tone was cold and he wouldn't look at her. Truly, he was mad at his grandsire Otto and Ser Criston as they opposed him at every turn.

-I just thought for today...

-Can you not wait? Don't I perform my husbandly duty every night?

Duty? She thought, the word hurt her more than she thought it would. Was duty all she was for Aemond?

-If you wished to be taken so badly, you might aswell try the Streets of Silk, althought, I doubt they would take you there. His voice was cold and his eye on the papers, he wouldn't look at her.

-

All Aemond heard were the soft steps of her wife leaving the Small Council and the door closing, before a hearing a gasp that appalled him.

His wife had fainted and was on the arms of her Kingsguard. He looked at him with daggers in his eye and inmediately took his place to carry his wife to his chambers, as he ordered the maid to seek the Maester.

-

He ordered everyone else to leave their chambers and not disturb them until the Maester arrived. He layed his wife on the bed softly and caressed her soft cheeks, he wanted so badly to stare into her warm brown-eye gaze, but unknowillingly, she was denying him. A knock on the door sounded and the Maester walked into their chamber, he bowed at Aemond.

-Speak! What's the matter? Why did she faint?

-Your grace, she's pregnant. The princess wanted to inform you herself...

Everything else the Maester said became a buzzing sound on Aemond's ears. He felt sick to his stomach, his wife would give him a heir and he hadn't even looked at her when she came to look for him.

-Leave us. His voice low, but cold and domineering.

He layed next to her and caressed her lovely cheekbones and her soft bossom and belly. He loved her, he didn't tell her much, but he loved her, she was absolutely precious to him and everything he did and would do was for her, to protect her. For all he cared, the whole Realm could burn to the ground as long as she was safe.

She woke up and much to her surprise, Aemond was laying next to her, his eyes closed, sleep had taken him. She wanted to touch his scar and caress his cheekbone, but she stopped herself. Duty, she thought, perhaps, for Aemond, all she meant was duty? She started to tear up, she loved him to her core, but did he not feel the same?

-

A knock on the door woke Aemond up as he was called to resume his duties for the day, as he did, he ordered everyone in the Keep to attend to his wife's every request and announced to the Council that he would have a heir.

When Y/N woke up again, Aemond was gone. But the sadness from the night before, still with her. She started to cry again, of course Aemond wouldn't love her, she was just his duty, a duty and nothing more, she thought.

-

Earlier than she expected, Aemond came into their chambers, he layed next to her and she pretended to be asleep, as it hurt to see him.

-

As the week passed, Aemond missed the solace of his wife and the warmness and love of her brown-eyed gaze. She would barely touch him, barely speak to him and pretended to be asleep when she wasn't. He knew his character hadn't been the best, but she always forgave him and her tenderness for him remained. Not this time. Her maid also informed him that she wouldn't eat as much, wouldn't talk as much, wouldn't smile as much and prefered to be left alone or in bed all day.

-

Aemond walked into their chambers and layed behind her, caressing her soft belly and her swelling bossom, needing the touch of his wife.

-Valzȳrys, you don't have to do this, you've already done your duty... I'm with child. Her tone had her usual sweetness, but it was mixed with sadness. You don't have to bed me if you don't want... me. She said the last word trying to hide her tears.

Aemond's hands stopped and she thought that was a confirmation of her fears. But his thoughts were running trought his head, how could she possibly doubt his feelings for her?. He was a prideful man, but he could no longer stand it.

Aemond resumed his touch on her belly and her bossom, laying his head on her neck.

-Ilirigho, Yn ilirí, Nya jorrāelagon (forgive me, forgive me, my love). He whispered as if singing her to sleep. His breath on her skin and his voice on her ears sending vibrations through her. Forget what I said that night at the Small Council. -Ilirigho, Yn ilirí, Nya jorrāelagon (forgive me, forgive me, my love). -He said again as a prayer as he kissed behind her ear and moved to kiss her neck, sucking small bruises as his hands wandered through her sensitive breasts.

She turned to look at him, a question in her melting brown-eyed gaze. He looked at her with his blue eye blown black with lust. -I want you. -He said as he kissed her lips.-Nya ābrazȳrys (my wife).- He said as he sucked her lower lip. -Nya jorrāelagon (my love).- He said as his tongue explored her mouth. She allowed him in and kissed him back, hungry for him too.

Aemond then oppened her nightgown as he moved to kiss and lap and suck her breasts, his hands wandering through her belly and her hips and her thights. Soon, he removed her nightgown and kissed from her breast to her belly to her sex. She was wet for him.

-I haven't tasted you in a while, my love- He said as he lapped at her pussy, his nose softly touching her clit.

The waves of pleasure started to build up on her as he started dragging his tongue through her folds, with his right hand softly laying on her belly and the other tightly holding her hip, he sucked at her clit, bringing her pure bliss. She was moaning his name and pulling softly at his silver blonde hair. He was determined to make up for the week as he would wring her the pleasure of seven nights in one.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Midnight call

Self-Aware! BSD Characters x GN! Reader

Description: Because now you are more interested in spending time with BSD Cast in real world, and out of respect to your new friends, you decide to 'left' BSD Fandom or, at least, be very passive in fandom.

Unfortunately, one of your cousin is in a Fandom. And she watched the season 5 finale. And she needs to discuss it with someone.

Set between Sick Day and We will protect you

About Library Incident, mentioned in that post.

Warning: Spoilers for BSD Season 5 finale. OOC. Semi-Crack. English is my second language.

_______

The last few days were hard for you. You need to finish university project. And, because of that, you had some sleepless nights. But, finally, the project was done, and you can finally have your well deserved sleep.

You're curled under the softest blankets. You snuggle against your cuddle partner and drift to sleep.

_______

You were surrounded by a bunch of cats. Fluffy cats were purring, trying to make you pet them. You reach your hand to the black kitten. And then....

RING!!!!!!! RING!!!! RING!!!!

_________

You shove a person, who was cuddling with you, fell down on the floor, jumped up from the floor and, while crashing into anyone and anything possible, ran to the library.

Emergency phone was ringing.

_________

Different people react differently to being suddenly woke up in the middle of the night.

Someone screamed, someone start cursing whoever were calling, someone start running.

The sleeping house became a house of madness in a single moment.

When residents became at least somehow aware of their surroundings, they start moving to the room, where a special emergency phone was.

Soon, house library were full of sleepy people in their pajamas.

You were there first. You, still half asleep, picked up the phone.

"Hello?!"

You were worried. If someone calls in the middle of the night, it either means something bad has happened. Or someone gave birth.

You heard the voice of your cousin. She was sobbing.

"[Y/N]! It is terrible! It's horrible!"

Your cousin was hysterical. You feel chills running down your spine. What happened to cause this reaction?

"[C/N]? What happened? Please, tell me! Are you hurt? Did something happen with your parents? Don't stay silent!"

Your cousin cried.

"FYODOR AND FUKUCHI ARE DEAD!!! AND SIGMA IS IN A COMA!"

You drop the phone. It fell on the table.

You take a step back.

Fyodor and Fukuchi are dead... Sigma is in a coma...

You feel like the world around you shuttered.

Dead...

You lost two friends... Maybe three, if Yosano's ability won't work on Sigma...

This time, forever...

BSD Cast can't go back to their world. This time, you can't bring him back by pulling their cards in Scout.

You were on a verge of a breakdown... You heard someone's steps... This someone hugged you. This someone murmur. This someone sound sleepy.

"Don't cry, Myshonok. I don't know, what happened, but everything is going to be fine..."

Second person carefully squeeze your hand.

"Little Guiding Light, don't cry. Please, tell us, what happened."

...

Wait a second... Myshonok? Little Guiding Light?

You shake your head and looked up. Fyodor was hugging you.

You looked at the person, who was holding your hand.

Fukuchi.

You blinked. Then again. And again.

Sigma... You are cuddling with him tonight...

After a minute search, you noticed Sigma in the crowd.

You looked at the phone.

Then back at Fyodor.

Then at Fukuchi.

Then at Sigma.

Then at the phone again.

You slowly walked towards the table and pick up the phone.

You breathe in and out. Your voice sounded as sweet as honey.

"[C/N]... Darling, care to repeat the last sentence?"

She sobs.

"Fyodor and Fukuchi... are dead! And Sigma is in a coma!"

Your eyes twitch. You stand still.

"[C/N], gave me few minutes. Stay on the phone, please!"

You make sure, that she won't hear your next words and turned to the BSD Cast.

"Quick question. Does anyone from my family knew your true identities?"

Few 'no' were your answer. You glance at the clock.

01:00 am. And you fall asleep after the midnight...

You put the phone on the table and walked closer to Fyodor. You start checking his pulse.

"Um... [Y/N], what are you doing?" Fyodor looked at you, puzzled by your actions.

Your eye twitch. You barely had an hour of sleep, you were sleep-deprived and angry.

"According to my cousin, you and Fukuchi are dead. I am checking if it's true. So far, you are alive and not a hallucination."

A sound of flat collective "what" filled the room. You ignored it.

Fyodor Dostoevsky had pulse.

You grin. Your grin looked a little bit off. You looked a little bit off. Like you were ready to attack.

You suddenly pet Fyodor's cheek and plant a kiss on his chin.

"Good... You are alive."

You finished with Fyodor and moved to Fukuchi. Ouchi was staring at you. He put his hand on your forehead.

"[Y/N], you look... strange. Like you are ready to combust."

You didn't answer, only start checking Fukuchi's pulse.

"And you are alive. Good..."

You booped Fukuchi's nose and kissed him on the cheek. And moved to Sigma.

You stared at him. Check his pulse. Then nodded.

"And you looked alive and not in a coma. Good... Great..."

You rub your face on Sigma's chest and kiss his nose. You walked towards the bookshelves.

You pick up one book and carry it to the table. Then you walked in the different part of the library.

When you were far away, Sigma spoke.

"Has anyone understand, what happened right now?"

Yosano, who opened her phone, answered.

"Season 5 finale of our show aired a few hours ago. It seems, that Fyodor, Fukuchi, and, maybe, Sigma died at the end."

BSD Gang looked at each other. Atsushi spoke.

"I have a proposition. Let's not held it against [Y/N], if they called us fictional. In that situation, they would be right."

A choir of 'yes' was his answer.

You were back. You were carrying a heavy bronze bust of this world Fyodor Dostoevsky.

You got a big collection of writers bust from your uncle as a present. They were a nice decoration for a library.

You put bronze Dostoevsky on the table. Then you growl.

"Guys.... I am sleep-deprived and angry. I apologize in advance for my next actions or words."

You didn't wait for their answer and pick up the phone. You accidentally put it on a speaker.

"[C/N], you are a slowpoke."

"What?!" her voice sounded squeaky.

You opened the book.

"Fukuchi Ouchi was born 182 years ago... People don't live for that long... As for Fyodor Dostoevsky..."

You check a date on the bottom of the bronze bust.

"He was born 202 years ago. People don't live for that long, either."

You breathe in and out.

"You kind of missed the news for a few years."

[C/N] sounds offended.

"[Y/N], I was talking about BSD..."

You lean on Bronze Dostoevsky.

"[C/N], when I gave you this phone number, I did this, so you can call me in case of an emergency. Yes... Death is an emergency... But... You should call only if the person who died is someone close to our family, we need to identify the body, go to the hospital, or need to pay for the funeral."

[C/N] whine.

"B-but... Fyodor... Sigma... Fukuchi..."

You try your best not to shout.

"[C/N], what do you want me to do? Call the police? Or an ambulance?"

"I... I..."

You sighed.

"[C/N]... I get it, you are upset. But, please, don't call me in the middle of the night without reason. You could discuss last episode online."

The phone was silent. Then [C/N] spoke again.

"You are right. I am sorry, [Y/N]. Good night."

The call ended.

You yawn and start walking to your room. You were too tired to move the Bronze Dostoevsky back to its place and decide to left it on the table.

"Sorry everyone and good night."

Slowly all of you go to your rooms. The house was quiet again.

______

You were on the beach. The sun was shining, the sea was warm. You and BSD gang were having fun. You were ready to dive into the sea...

RING!!!!!!! RING!!!! RING!!!!

_____

You almost ripped the Library door off its hinders.

The library once again were swarmed by everyone, who lived in the house.

You pick up the phone, accidentally putting it on speaker.

"What?!"

It was [C/N] again.

"[Y/N], mom said that I should call you and apologize for waking you up..."

You lost consciousness for a few seconds... You feel like you grabbed something and hit the table with this something with all your might.

You heard the loud crack.

You shake your head. You were holding Dostoevsky's bust. There was a crack on the table. And the speaker button on the phone was stuck.

BSD Characters took a step back from you. They looked worried.

[C/N] whined.

"What..."

"Dostoevsky's bronze bust. Now I need a new table." You sounded dead. "By the way. I knew where you live, and I have a car."

You breathe in.

"If you call me in the middle of the night again. I will go to your house. Then I will lobotomize you with my fingernails."

[C/N] gulped.

"I... I... Good Night."

The call ended. The room was quiet.

You put Bronze Dostoevsky back on the table. You unplug the phone.

"Should have done it earlier. The broken table and phone will add character to the room."

You left the room on wobbly legs.

You make few steps outside the library and fell down on the floor and start snoring.

______

This day, BSD Gang learn an important lesson. Sleep-deprived, you are a force to recon with.

They decide not to replace the table and phone. They do add character to the library.

[kinky-pen]

Do you have any headcanons of the hosts, both SFW and NSFW?

(2/2) ...Actually, when I mean “NSFW” Headcanons for the hosts, don’t include Honey, obviously. Have a couple of random thoughts on all the hosts. Not too much for the SFW, as I recently answered something similar, but a couple of NSFW headcanons for each of them below the cut.

SFW Headcanons

Tamaki

Finally realised he was pansexual in his final year of university, which really should've come sooner. Had a whole, elaborate coming out party, during which Kyoya just yelled inarticulately and stormed off. That's when Tamaki found out his best friend had been in love with him since middle school. (Depending on what you ship - I ship everything - that would be when Tamaki and Kyoya got together)

Haruhi

Finally gets fancy tuna in university. It wasn't the hosts who bought it for her, however, but a classmate who was incredibly thankful for the tutoring Haruhi gave them. Yes, the hosts were all incredibly upset (showing it in their own ways), and it was just a massive headache for Haruhi in general. They did admit it was stupid of them after about a week, though, and apologised.

Kyoya

Started med school in an effort to catch up to his brothers. The subsequent mental breakdown was not worth it, and he dropped out. Took the rest of the year as a gap year and then took the usual business and finance degrees when he got back from his travels. (The new septum piercing was discarded not long after he got back, however, after too many comments from the twins and Akito.

Kaoru

His fashion design degree nearly killed him. He was living on ramen (because it was convenient) and energy drinks for so long, just working on his projects day and night. The other ex-hosts had to host an intervention and make him sleep. He woke up after being dead to the world for nearly 20 hours, and everyone (except med student Kyoya) thinking he'd slipped into a coma.

Hikaru

Conversely to his brother, Hikaru spent a lot of time in university going to parties, especially those held by the chem majors (iykyk). Had a lot of fun, made a lot of friends, and dragged Kaoru with him by his hair more often than he probably should've. It was good stress relief for the both of them, though.

Mori

Very popular at university, in both senses of the word. While Mori's not the type for too many trysts and one night stands, it didn't mean he didn't have a lot of offers. Had a couple of girlfriends, and a few boyfriends, during this time.

Hani

Buckled down during university, in terms of studying, but still retained quite a few of his childish traits. Usa-chan did frequently accompany him to lectures, and was a bit of a hit with the rest of the class. In fact, Usa-chan became the class mascot not too long into first term.

NSFW Headcanons

Tamaki

Versatile. Can go from a good boy whining but taking it like a champ one minute, only to switch up and use that charisma and princely desire to pull one over on his partner (consensually, ofc) the next moment.

It may have been a joke in the beach episode, but this boy is indeed into bondage! Restraints, blindfolds, harnesses. He doesn't mind if he's tying up his partner, or if he's the one being tied up!

When subbing, he loves puppy play. He's just a good boy who needs you to tell him he's a good boy, petting him and rubbing his tummy while giving him treats for being so perfect and precious (whether in a feedist scenario or not). Kinky, stop projecting ffs

Haruhi

A switch, but does prefer topping. You've got to be the right kind of top/dom to get her to step down, basically. I feel like Haruhi's love language is mainly acts of service, with a smattering of words of affirmation, combine beautifully to make a service top who knows what she's doing.

When in full dom mode, she loves total control of her sub. They do as she says, or she'll keep them "in suspense" until they cry. Could certainly be an excellent brat tamer for the right sub, but it depends if she can be bothered to have that much attitude aimed at her. I mainly see the brat tamer dynamic working for HikaHaru, rather than any other ships, though.

Wants to hear her partner come undone, but is happy to use a gag on them if they whimper loud enough for her to hear. Actually kind of enjoys the challenge of trying to make them so loud that the gag doesn't do much of anything.

Kyoya

Kyoya is a sub, a bottom (because they are not mutually exclusive) and a pillow prince, I'll take no criticism at this time, thank you. He just melts in so many kink scenarios where he's told what to do, from being pampered to being tortured. He'll try topping for the right person, if they really wanted him to, but it's much more likely that you'll have a surprisingly needy brat on your hands.

Blindfold him and tell him he's pretty. Worship him with your voice and hands, and make him feel like he's the most precious thing in the world. He'll start crying, I promise, and then you'll get to see cute tearstains on that lovely blindfold. (He loves the feeling of support while being so incredibly vulnerable, it's not something he's had much of before)

He's either so silent when he cums that some partners would barely notice (and proceed to just overstimulate him to the point of multiple orgasms - but he loves that), or the loudest goddamn sub ever. The quietest whimper, or the loudest fucking screaming and begging to cum, absolutely no in-between.

Kaoru

Surprisingly, prefers topping. His act with Hikaru had him as a power bottom (thank you ohshc manga for spelling that out plain as day). I highly doubt he'd want a sub dynamic with someone he actually wants a relationship with (whether romantic or purely sexual), as it'd just make him think of hosting with his brother (ew!)

Though, this boy is still a Hitachiin. Loves humiliation. Will be using your kinks against his partner in order to embarrass them (again, consensually). Think comments like "wow, can't you keep it together? We're practically in public", while doing everything he can to push his partner's buttons.

Kaoru will lick his partner dry when they're done, cleaning them up with nothing but his tongue. As long as he has time on his hands, at least. It's a talented tongue, and half the time it just starts another round off again. How bad, what a shame /s.

Hikaru

Says he's a top, but actually is a bratty power bottom (how the turn tables). He wants to be fucked hard, and if it's not to his liking then he will let his partner know. Teasing, jeering, everything. Loves making whoever he's with pissed off while their fucking him. It just makes it rougher, even more passionate, and he just wants his brains fucked out of his pretty little head.

Bullying kink. Some slight bimbo/stupification leanings, honestly. Wants someone to talk down to him like he's just too stupid to function. They'll get something sharp and snarled in response, but his eyes and erection are begging them to keep pushing. Call him every name under the sun, shove him around, step on his crotch. He'll fight it, duh, but it gets to the point where he's just too turned on and needy to continue, and then he can be fucked to his partner's content.

Wants multiple orgasms (most of the time), and what he wants, he gets. If his partner doesn't get him off enough times before stopping, he will just touch himself until he gets another one or two in. If his dom can't stop him first, that is.

Mori

Service top, gentle dom. If his partner wants him to be any degree of mean, there's going to be a lot of trial and error, as well as a lot of talking about it before hand. It's going to take a while to build up to Mori using his massive strength and such on his partner (but it'll be worth it when he gets there, trust me)

No restraints but his hands and weight. Well, maybe on request, but he wants to pin his partner down himself, using those big hands to pin their wrists, pressing his weight down on them so he can feel every buck and shudder. Why should he let some metal and scraps of fabric do what he takes pleasure in?

His voice goes so deep when he's on the edge of an orgasm, encouraging his partner to just keep going, so good, feels so nice. Deep and breathy, all at once. A quiet guy, but so pretty to hear. He also likes his partner being loud about their own pleasure, does like to try and make them beg a little. He just wants to know they're having a great time.

[lolasturniolo]

Only you can help my mess (pt.2)

Warning: family issues, crying, S/H mentioned, attempting mentioned, wall punching i guess?, yelling, slow asf burn

————

Y/n Pov

Everything was a blur after I pulled into the driveway. I just remember breaking down in matts arms, he was always there for me since day 1. God he was amazing I didn’t deserve him at all but her I was in his arms, crying.

I heard nicks voice say something but it was muffled all I could hear was my dad yelling. Dad. The thought made me sob even more it was horrible. Why was my family like this yelling, arguing, punching why me.

None of that matters now I’m with Matt, safe in his arms nothing more. He takes me his room and we lay there on his bed for around 10 minutes and I start to calm down.

“You wanna talk about it”

Matt says looking down at me.

I just shake my head no, and he nods in a response. God he knew what to do he ran his hand up my back, played with my hair at was all just right. He’s perfect.

Matts Pov

After a while Y/n fell asleep in my bed, I felt so dad for her and the fact I knew it was her only option made me feel worse.

I slowly get up trying not to wake her and I walk to the kitchen to see my bothers talking.

“She okay?”

Nick asks looking up from the dinner table.

“Yea yea she fell asleep”

I reply while looking in the fridge and grabbing a root beer.

“So how long she gonna be here?”

Chris asks.

“I don’t know, a while I guess”

I reply sitting down.

“Well why is she here? Not that I don’t like her you know but she was pretty upset when she came in.”

Chris said taking a sip of his cherry Pepsi.

“Same reason as always I guess”

Nick replies. I nod.

————

Around 1hour later Y/n comes out of my room, eyes puffy from crying, hair all messy and what not. She had a hoodie on but not the same one she came in with it was mine I didn’t mind off course. I mean honestly it was quite cute.

“How are you feeling?”

“honestly I’ve felt better”

She replies

“Nick and Chris walked up to the store do you want anything? I’m pretty sure there still there”

“Umm maybe some chocolate ice cream”

She says leaning against that counter.

“Basic bitch”

I mumble jokingly.

“Fuck you”

She says hitting my chest laughing.

I laughed and pick up my phone to text Nick.

————

Nick

Matt: yo Y/n is awake could you grab her some chocolate ice cream?

Nick: yea no worries be home in 15

————

I put my phone down seeing Y/n grab a Pepsi and sit opposite me.

“Nick and Chris should be home in 15”

I say

“Thanks matty”

She says practically downing the Pepsi, god she was like a female version of Chris at this point.

————

Y/n has been staying here for a few days now, sleeping in my room and using my bathroom, I didn���t mind it at all but I just HATED how clingy she was being. Yes we have been friends for awhile now but she has never been THIS clingy to me it’s so annoying.

It was around 2am and Y/n had fallen dead asleep, finally. So with that I get up and go to Chris’s room.

Knock, Knock, Knock

“Come in!”

Chris yells.

I walk in seeing him laying in his bed watching tv.

“Yo can I talk to you?”

I say walking in his room but not fully closing the door.

“Ye what’s up?”

Chris says sitting up slightly and allowing me to sit down on the bed.

Y/n’s pov

I woke up in matts bed but no matt. I look around the room his door was open so I decided to go find him. I walk to the kitchen, not there. Bathroom not there. There the two spots he is always in other than his bedroom what the fuck?

Maybe Chris will know. So with that I walk down the stairs to Chris room his door slightly open and I can hear voices Matt voice.

“God bro she is so annoying, she is always THERE. Like I get her and her family are struggling and all but god I can’t breathe. I have always put it aside but I can’t do it anymore.”

When I heard this my heart dropped. Was that really what he thought? Was he even talking about me? Don’t be stupid of course he was who else would he be talking about?

My mind rushed with so many thoughts, should I go in? Should I leave? Or go back to his room and pretend like none of it happened?

I run up the stairs as quickly and quietly as I can and just go back to his room and lay on his bed waiting for him to come back. I’m the mean time I just thought what i could do or say to him.

————

Sorry i haven’t posted in a while but yea just a few things been going on

Xoxo Frankie

[the-curious-butterfly]

A Dappling (or was it called Appling?) short.

PLOT TWIST

After word got out that it was her instead of Daring who woke up Apple, Darling half expected to be chased out of Ever After with torches and pitch forks.

Perhaps not exactly to that extreme but at least something to that extent. She expected mad looks, curses (both literal and verbal) being thrown her way, and an angry mob of princes she could definitely beat in a fight if they lined up one by one. If they came at her all at once, however, it could prove just a tad bit more difficult but she’s pretty sure she can still win against that too.

But she digresses, the point is she expected things to get very bad and very awkward. Well they got awkward alright but not in the very bad way, though she couldn’t really call it the good way either. More like they got awkward in the “okay, I guess this is happening” sort of way.

No, once word had reached a certain person in particular that she, a princess no less, woke Apple from her cursed slumber it took no time at all for her to find herself in the office of one Snow White. The mother of said previously cursed princess and also the Queen of Ever After. And by no time at all she meant no time at all, she doesn’t even remember how she got here or when this semi-large packet came to be in her hands.

Darling decided to ignore the concerning implications that thought had and instead looked down to find in big bold fancy red letters the words: ‘So You Want to Marry My Sweet Apple Dumpling do You?’

There was another phrase underneath with the word ‘Daring’ in it but it had been hastily crossed out so Darling couldn’t exactly read it.

‘Wait….marry?!’

“Ummm, your majesty, what is this?”

The Queen places down her mug with the words ‘fairest of them all’ onto her desk before finally addressing Darling.

“Darling please, call me Snow. We are soon to be family after all.”

“Right…Snow.” It felt so weird to call her by her first name. Not just because she was the Queen but also because Darling was a knight and thus was more use to addressing others the way a knight would, with formality and respect. “What do you mean by soon to be?”

“What do you mean by what do I mean? Will you or will you not be proposing to Apple?” The Queen narrowed her eyes at Darling as if telling her to think carefully about her answer.

“Your majest- I mean Snow, I would love to propose to Apple some day it’s just that you know I thought that you, hex that the entire realm would be upset I wasn’t Daring. Plus we’re both still in school and all.”

“Nonsense, Darling, all Apple’s destiny truly calls for is a Charming, and from what I hear you certainly live up to your namesake. Besides, I’ll have you know the first Snow White was married before she even started school.” (I’m so sorry, I hated learning this but the original Snow White apparently was somewhere around 14 and I completely understand if you want to beat me up for bringing it to your attention.)

“I’m not so sure if that’s something to be proud of, your majesty.” The words were out before Darling could even remind herself who she was saying them to.

“Oh I completely agree, that was the one part of my story I thought was utterly ridiculous.” Phew “Which is why I waited until senior year.”

“Wait, you were also poisoned while attending Ever After High?”

“Darling, I’ll let you in on a secret, most stories end up happening at Ever After High. Hex, as soon as the Evil Queen saw me she tried to poison me. Every day was a fight for my life, those were the best four years I could have ever after wished for.”

“…oh….kay” was all Darling could really think to say.

“Now if you will, turn to page seven.”

“Page seven?” Snow gestured to the packet Darling had forgotten was in her hands. “Oh hex, forgive me I-“ she went completely dead silent as soon as she saw the first few words the page contained.

Heirs and You

“Now granted, this was written with Daring in mind so I never thought I needed to add this which is why I’m saying it now. I don’t mind adoption but your first child must be a product of both you and Apple thus I took the liberty of getting in contact with a renown enchantress who I am certain will be able to help you and…Darling?!”

A loud thud reverberated throughout the room as the knight had passed out before Snow could even finish saying her name.

~~~

Apple come quick, your mother is traumatizing your Prince Charming.

[judysxnd]

I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITINGS ❤

Can I request a pedro × reader?

It's few months into the relationship and pedro , being a bad sleeper , one day woke up from a terrible nightmare . The reader is up so she calms him down and pedro hugs her and tell her ( I love you ) for the first time .

Thank you so so much❤️ it means SO much🥰 love the request, it’s going to be so intimate!! Hope you’ll like it!!

——————————————————————————————

Today has been a long day for Pedro. Waking up at 6am, driving an hour and half for the interviews to promote the last season of the Mandalorian, having lunch at almost 2pm, going to the gym after, and then an appointment with his agent. It was a pretty busy day. As for you, it was a normal work day.

He finally came back around 7:30. You were waiting for him in the living room, scrolling on social media. When you heard the door opening, you stopped what you were doing and went to see him.

“Hey baby” you said shyly, smiling

“Hi angel” his face lit up when he saw you. His movements were slow, kicking his shoes off and putting his stuff away. As he was very happy to finally be home and see you, he was extremely tired. It hit him as soon as he opened the door.

“You look tired” you said, going to hug him. His entire body relaxed as you wrapped your arms around him.

“I’m more than tired” he sighed, holding you tight.

“Yeah I bet you are. Are you also hungry? I was waiting for you”

“A little yeah”

“Uber?”

“Hell yeah. Too tired to cook anything”

“Okay. I’ll order, go take a shower, okay?” You slightly parted, looking at each other.

“You’re too good for me mama” he leaned down to kiss you.

So Pedro went to take his shower. He food arrived right after he joined you in the kitchen. You quietly enjoyed your food and went to bed right away, watching a movie. As you expected, five minutes into the movie and Pedro was dead asleep. You kept watching the movie, it was very interesting.

Trapped in a house. All exists are absolutely no use. The front door? Three steel bear traps. The two French windows in the back? Electric wires in front of them. The windows? Barriers blocking them. The only possible exit are the skylights, but the roof is too high, and it’s not discreet enough to escape the monster. Because yes, there is a monster chasing the man. Nonstop running, going from one hiding spot to another. Sweating, out of breath, unable to run properly, nothing to defend himself. The man goes in a roof, but the monster sees him, so he goes back inside. It’s too dangerous to jump. But there’s something missing. He wasn’t alone. He knows that his girlfriend is missing. He also feels that he is alone, no family anymore. Like they were all gone, they were not existing anymore. The pics on the wall show no face except for the man. He still remembers everything, but- but the pictures? He is alone. Faces erased. What is happening? Oh no, the monster is close. He can hear his heavy breathing. Will he see him in the closet? Oh- yes he did. He swung the door opened. The monster growls, and is about to throw his hands on the man.

Suddenly Pedro wakes up screaming, heavily breathing. It scared you. You sat up next to him, caressing his back, holding his hand

“Wh-What happened?” Pedro asks, still shocked.

“It was a nightmare Pedrito, it’s okay, it’s not real”

“It-It” he paused a second, catching his breath “it felt so real” he put his hands on his face.

“It was not”

“Everyone was-” he couldn’t even say it

“It’s okay, look at me” you put your hand in his cheek, turning his head so that he would look at you. “Look at me, you feel this?” You said touching his hand, his arm, his face. “I’m real, it’s real” you said, making him look around you. He looked at you, not saying anything. You could see his chest moving a lot has he was still out of breath. He suddenly hugged you. “See? I’m real” you added again, hands on his back.

“It was awful, I can’t even describe it”

“Then don’t. Just know that it’s not real. I’m here. I’m real, you’re real.”

“I love you so much” you heard him say. You were surprised, for sure you didn’t expect it. It was the first time either of you said it. Being only together for a few months, it is expectable. You felt butterfly in your stomach. There he was, in pure shock, and saying I love you. It was the purest moment. You let go of him, staring at him, your hands on his cheeks.

“I love you too” you kissed for some time. “Come on, let’s go back to sleep” you turned the tv off. You started to lay down on your side, but Pedro grabbed you.

“Can’t sleep without feeling you corazón, you’re the one keeping me sane” you turned to face him

“I’m not going anywhere.. cariño” he smiled. You hold his hand. “It was just a nightmare. This- This is real” you snuggled right to him, and both fell asleep.

[vintagevict0ria]

𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞

Chapter 2 "Ive been watching you for ages..."

pairing: Adam Driver x f!reader content: alcohol consumption, use of Y/n. a/n: oh gosh guys im so sorry this took SOOO LONG!! I have not had any motivation but i was determined to get this out! part 3 will not take as long!! Added a tag for all my works: #victoriassecrets!!

Endless scrolling turned into you following asleep. When you woke up, you found a pool of spit under your chin and your phone was dead. Rolling your eyes, you sat up stretching your arms before plugging your phone in and wiping your face. Today you had planned to get breakfast with Carolina today, to debrief from the past few days. It had caught you by surprise how much your co-star had been on your mind- an unhealthy amount you should say…

Hopefully this date would help clear your mind and focus on the actual movie and not Adam Driver. 

You arrived at the coffee shop shortly before Carolina did so you found a table by the window. When she arrived: she lit up instantly when her eyes met yours. “Hey girl!!!!” She let out a squeal of excitement as she frolicked over. Standing up, you embraced her in your arms. “Oh em gosh we have so much to talk about!!” Of course, Carolina couldn't wait to start talking. Sitting back down, you took a sip of hot coffee before speaking “So i want to discuss how JJ is planning on building and establishing me and- Sorry- Taylor and Johns (you and Adams characters) relationship”

“He wants you and Adam to get to know each other from the other side of the camera so that way we have something to build off of before we start filming.”  This caught you by surprise.In the past, no directors had asked you to have an actual connection that isn't just acting.

“We have 7 weeks till filming starts and I've already scheduled you and Adam a reservation at the restaurant down the road for tonight- lets get ahead yeah?” Dinner. Tonight. With Adam. It was hard to imagine what this could possibly mean. “So it's a date basically?”

“Oh gosh no silly!” She laughed, shaking her head. “Just think about it as a…” she paused. “Yeah it's basically a date.”

Oh Carolina, why would you do this to me!!

“No the red! No wait- the blue! wait - yes the red! Wait..” Holding up the two dresses and making Carolina pick was impossible. She was your hype woman and you looked good and anything but gosh this woman could not pick to save her life. “Girl, just pick! I'm going with the red-” before you could finish Adams manager walked in-”The cab will be here in an hour” she left quickly after dropping the news. Lovely, now I'm being rushed. 

“Ok pick a dress and i’ll get someone her to fix your hair and makeup-”

“No- I got this. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Carolina smiled, looking up from her phone and going over to hug you. “First impressions are everything” she whispered in your ear. All you could do was laugh.

Dress? Red(or blue?) No yeah red…

Hair? Down! No up!! Wait… Down!!

Makeup? Uhhhhhh…

“Ms. Y/L/N! The cab is here!!”

Crap! You quickly grabbed your purse and ran downstairs while still trying to put shoes on. After who knows how long, you finally got your shoes on and was greeted by Adam. 

“Evening.” He said, holding out his arm.

“Good evening.” You joyfully intertwined your arm around his elbow, letting him guide you into the cab. 

The flash of the cameras was bleeding. Being an actor in Hollywood meant stalkers, love letters, cat calls, and of course- paparazzis. Security did their best to quickly get you too into the car with little to no time for the cameras to catch a glance of you and your co-star. As soon as you entered the car- a woman- around the age of 20, started pounding at the window of the car. “Adam! You are so hot! Have my ba-” the car sped off before the woman had a chance to finish. You glazed over at Adam but he didn't seem fazed at all. Was he used to this? The ride was quiet. All that could be heard was the rolling on the car on the roads of LA and the faint playing of the radio. Before you could be relieved of the stress of this event, you stupidly went on instagram and your DM’s were full of pictures that the paparazzis had taken just minutes ago. The pictures were not as clear as expected considering you basically ran to the car. You could just faintly make out the scene of Adams' arm around yours. 

Once you arrived at the restaurant, the door swung open and a doorman held out his hand to you. You hesitantly grabbed it. Making sure your dress didn't get caught in the car door- you exited the vehicle and was once again escored beside Adam and security. Little to no paparazzis were around but somehow, many civilians knew you two were expected. Some profanities and obscure things were shouted but you too paid no attention to them. The restaurant lights were wildly contrasted with the dark outside. Adjusting to the lighting, you walked over to a table that was draped with a white cloth along with two wine glasses, silver wear, and a candle. Adam pulled out the seat, gesturing to you to sit down. Embarrassed, you smiled and whispered ‘thank you’ under your breath. Adam sat down across from you.

“So-” Adam began to speak, his brown eyes looked so whimsical in the lighting. Before speaking again, he cleared his voice. “Where are the menus?” He chuckled, looking around the restaurant. At Least he was trying to make this not awkward as possible.

“I was just thinking that! Have you ever been here before?” You scanned the room, it was quite empty- well entirely empty.

“No, you?” You shook your head. Right as you were going to say something, your waiter walked over, pen and paper in hand. “Apologies for the wait- what can I start you off to drink?” You both ordered a glass of red wine to start and shortly after receiving menus- ordered entries. Taking a sip of your drink, Adam asked “Thoughts on the film so far? Well, the script that is.” He brushed his hair back, still making eye contact with you. You couldn't believe you were having dinner with Adam Driver. He was so beautiful and there was something about him that wouldn't allow you to look away.

“I like it! Also- apologies for Carlonia setting this whole ‘date’ thing up- she can be really extra sometimes' ' putting date in quotes excentauted how awkward this dinner was. You hoped he would just laugh it off but- oh no.

“Carolina?” he laughed, shaking his head while looking down, “No, this wasn't JJs or Carolinas idea. It was mine.”

_________________________

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[ravennaortiz]

Companion piece can be found here.

Summary: Gilly has always known you were the one. Even when he pushed you away. For years he tortured himself until one day you came back home to Santo Padre to stay. As always 18+, general themes of the show.

Word Count: 1.6K

"So you gonna get the balls to ask her out or what?" inquired Coco as he slid into the chair next to Gilly who had been watching you play pool with Angel. Gilly sighed as he took a drink of his beer. "I don't know that I deserve her man. Not after how I ended things" he replied remorsefully. "I mean she seems like the forgiving type. Boy Scout and Angel broke that Snowman thing her mama got her and she forgave them. Not like you beat the shit out of her or something heinous" shrugged Coco as he fixed his gaze on his best friend.

Gilly pondered the events of the last few weeks. Coco had a fair point about your forgiving nature. Though he still couldn't look back on that fateful day he had up ended both your lives and not feel like an ogre. "You spent over three grand on a snowman. Don't act like she's not special. We all see it man. Forgive yourself for being an idiot and then get your girl" Coco stated firmly before casting a look over to where you and Angel were laughing. "If you don't make your move soon. One of us will have too" he added with a grin. "None of you are man enough for her" snapped Gilly his eyes flashing with anger at the idea of one of his brothers putting moves on you.

"Simmer down" muttered Coco as he laughed at how easily Gilly had been riled. "Seriously though. We all like her man. She fits in well. Like she's always been around. Gilly rolled his eyes "You just like the free food Coco". Coco shrugged before standing up. "What can I say I'm a simple man. Gilly laughed loudly "Simple is right".

The next morning Gilly woke up with you on his mind. Which wasn't unusual but this time he could feel your presence like you were next to him in his bed. He rolled over breathing deeply into the pillow and could almost make out your scent. The conversation last night with Coco had only spurred his feelings on. He knew he needed to tell you he still had feelings for you. That he had never stopped but he was unsure if you would be accepting. Had too much time passed for him to make amends? Yes you had let him back into your life but he could still feel a wall between the two of you that he wasn't sure he could break through. He got dressed quickly knowing he needed to make a couple stops before he went over to your house.

***

Gilly kneeled down in front of the headstone and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and dusted it off. He then put the wildflower bouquet into the vase next to it before taking a deep breath. He was more nervous then he expected given that he had been doing this routine every week for several months and speaking to the dead wasn't unusual for him.

"Morning Mama Kay" he uttered as he cleared his throat. "Your little girl is still doing fine, I know you know that" he chuckled to himself. "She sure misses ya a lot. I do too. You always saw the good in me and were the only adult who gave a damn about me. You gave me a sanctuary from war zone I was born into. I hope you know how thankful I was growing up." A burst of wind pushed at him out of no where. "Alright, alright no need to shove" Gilly mumbled as he put his hands up in defeat.

"I guess what I came here to say is I am gonna finally ask her to give me a second chance. I know I don't deserve one and honestly she is still too good for me. I know my lifestyle is.....dangerous but I promise you I would never let anything happen to her." Gilly paused as he collected his thoughts trying to stop the rambling. He could hear Mama Kay's voice telling him to get to the point. Gilly took a deep breath then turned his face up to the sky. " I'm ready to be the man she needs and I just want to know if that is okay with you?" blurted Gilly as he bowed his head and closed his eyes. Several minutes passed before he felt a gentle warmth brush his cheek. "Thank you Mama Kay" he whispered before kissing the headstone and getting up to head back to his bike.

***

Gilly sat waiting for your answer. You nodded and looked down at your mug of tea as you considered what Gilly had told you. The difference of this conversation versus the one that gutted you was not lost on you. He had laid all his cards on the table. He could only hope you had forgiven him for being a dumb kid all those years ago when he had broken up with you hours before getting on a plane for his first deployment. He had been in love with you since that first crooked smile you had flashed his way in eight grade. By your freshmen year the two of you were a couple and glued to each others sides through high school and your first two years of college.

He did his best to tell you he was not the right man for you and never would be. That he could never provide you the life you wanted and deserved. He remembered almost giving in when you dropped to your knees into the dirt and gravel latching onto his pant leg as you pleaded with him. You told him how much he meant to you and that you loved him and wanted only him forever. You denied his words that he wasn't enough or good enough for your love. The tears poured down your face and the urge to wipe them away was overwhelming. He choked back his own sob as he pried you off him and picked you up.

Squeezing your arms just enough to quiet your sobs he drove the final nail home. "Tell me why you can't get it through your head I don't want you any more" he had asked you. He watched every emotion play across your face before you quietly asked "Why? Why are you being so cruel?" He never gave you an answer he just simply let you go and turned his back on you. Your sobs echoed in his head every night as he recalled getting in his car and driving away.

You didn't know this but he only got a half mile down the road before he was sobbing himself. He was only going to stay in the military for so long but each time he set foot on U.S soil his actions hit him like a ton of bricks all over again. He could only blame himself for his loneliness. Which is why he had reached out to Mama Kay. Wanting to feel a connection back home but also wanting to see how you were doing. He had been pleased to get a letter back that was full of warmth, love and a photo of the two of you.

Reaching across the table you took his hand in yours and swallowed hard. If this was going to work you were going to have to tell him a secret that you had harbored all these years. That you had banned your mother from telling him as well once you realized they had reconnected. Gilly watched you closely and held his breath as he watched two tears trail down your cheeks. "I never stopped loving you Gilly. You were always the one for me too. I want to try again too" you started as he smiled happily at you.

"I need to tell you something though first". You were getting ready to hurt him and you hated yourself for it. "I was pregnant." you whispered as you looked down at the table unable to see the pain crush the bear of a man in front of you. Gilly felt like a train had ran him over as his brain rushed to understand. The implication of your words hit him. Not only had he left you while you were in a vulnerable state but something had happened as well. Gilly blinked back tears. Monsters don't get to grieve he thought to himself.

You tensed as you heard Gilly get up from his chair and your heart dropped. You were losing him again. Sobs wracked your body as you felt the pain of both losses all over again. "Shhhh. Its okay" murmured Gilly as he knelt next to you grabbing your hands in his. "I'm not going anywhere. Right here is where I want to be" he added as you cried into his shoulder.

After a few moments you had calmed down some. Gilly carefully used his thumb to brush the lingering tears from your face. "May I ask what happened?' he asked quietly as he met your eyes. You simply nodded as your heart clenched and your stomach rolled at the memory. "I was depressed, scared and angry. The pregnancy was so extremely difficult and we were high risk on top of everything. I was bedridden for most of it in the hopes not working and such would help with the stress and symptoms.

I went into labor too early still, ended up going into cardiac arrest and she didn't make it. She was a tiny little thing and she fought like hell to live but...." you stated just shaking your head as the memories played in your mind. The whirring of machines, panic stricken faces, yelling nurses and doctors as they tried to save both of you. Then the darkness came as you started to fade away. The next thing you remember was waking up to your Mama praying over you as she squeezed your hands.

"I'm so sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything and it won't fix what happened or fix the pain" stated Gilly as he caressed your cheek gently. "This news doesn't change how I feel about you though. I hope you know that". "I will always regret what I did and that I wasn't here for you.

You closed your eyes as you leaned into the tender caresses letting his words wash over you. "I've felt like a failure for so long Gilly. Couldn't keep my man, couldn't be pregnant correctly, couldn't keep my baby alive. I felt like I was never suppose to know love, kindness or grace. Mama always told me I was wrong. She always talked highly of you." you murmured as you thought back onto some of your moms last words.

"Gilly was a scared boy who made a mistake. We all make mistakes. Its how you fix a mistake that matters.

"Your mama was something special. Just like you" replied Gilly as he smiled before leaning forward and gently placing a kiss on your lips. "Let me love you and cherish until death knocks for us" he whispered as he pulled back slightly. "I love you" you murmured before meeting his lips again.

***

Kneeling down at the tiny bear shaped tombstone you gently cleaned away the dirt and weeds as your hands shook slightly. "Sofia, my sweet angel. I want you to finally meet your daddy" you murmured as you looked up at Gilly who had tears in his eyes. "Hi, sweetie. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most." stated Gilly as he moved to his knees and laid a bouquet of flowers down before kissing the tombstone.

[riality-check]

part two of angsty soulmate things, a continuation of this

There's an after.

It's not that Eddie isn't grateful that there is one. He's like most people only in the sense that he would rather be alive than dead. And while being eaten by demonic bats is a very metal way to go, it's slow, and it hurt like hell.

Not worse than cutting the string, but it still hurt.

Eddie isn't ungrateful for the after. He's just confused as to how he got here in the first place, and he's scared because there isn't supposed to be one.

But he doesn't want to think about that. That train of thought makes him nauseous, and he's barely been able to eat anything as it is.

Hospital lights, he thinks instead, are a constant. They're the same everywhere, that bright, sterile white that makes people look sicker in a place that's supposed to make them healthy. In the chair next to his bed, for example, Steve looks like he should be admitted himself.

His skin is paler than Eddie's ever seen it, the bags under his eyes could more aptly be called suitcases, and, most concerningly, his hair is flat.

Steve "the Hair" Harrington's hair looks lifeless. Eddie really screwed this up, didn't he?

He wonders if there's adverse effects to cutting the string. Other than the pain, of course. Long-term stuff is probably a better way to put it.

He tries to remember back when Mama did it, but that was a while ago. Maybe seven years now? His recollection's a bit fuzzy, but he remembers her being almost sick, even after the pain stopped.

Then again, Mama was always sick, one way or another. So even if she's the only example he has, she's probably not the best one.

Steve stares at Eddie with wide, red-rimmed eyes. He really does look like hell.

Eddie opens his mouth to say something, to crack a joke, to do anything to make Steve look a little better, but Steve beats him to the punch.

"What happened?" he croaks.

"I died," Eddie says. It's not a lie. Wayne told him, when he first woke up, that it took three rounds of CPR to get his heart started again.

"Bullshit," Steve says.

"It's not bullshit."

"I know your heart stopped," Steve says. "But you didn't die."

He holds up his hand, and Eddie sees, stark black on his sickly pale skin, the remnants of a string curled around his finger. Black like a brand, like a tattoo, whatever.

It's there, and everyone knows black means death. Permanent death.

(Or, if they're a nutcase or a gullible middle schooler, a dagger. But normal people don't believe in those, so normal people don't ever consider that a possibility.

Hell, even Eddie wouldn't have if he didn't do it himself.)

"What. Happened."

If Eddie weren't in a hospital bed, he'd come up with a better lie. He'd say something about the bats, or the Upside Down, or, hell, he'd blame it on Vecna.

Nancy came in and told him the bastard's dead, so. It's not like he'd be able to counter it.

But Eddie is exhausted, mentally and physically. It's finally setting in, after the first few minutes of being awake, how tired he is, and how much pain he's in.

So, instead of lying, Eddie just says, "I'm sorry."

Steve frowns, confused. "What do you mean you're sorry? Eddie, I just want to know what happened. I'm scared out of my mind because this shouldn't be happening. You're alive. We should still have a string."

Eddie sees, clear as day, how he can use this as an out. He could lie so easily, could blame it on some occurrence within that parallel world. Steve would nod and accept it, not because he's stupid, but because literally anything, so long as it's awful, is possible there.

But Eddie thinks beyond the now very often, though most people are surprised by that. He thinks about how Steve will want to be with him; every time Eddie thought about his soulmate, the string appeared, so Steve was constantly thinking about him. He thinks about them five, ten, twenty years down the line. He thinks about forgetting the lie, about being inconsistent, about Steve pushing and pushing like he seems to do sometimes until Eddie breaks and tells the truth.

No. Finding out then would be so much worse.

Eddie has an out, but he's choosing not to run. Last time, that was a terrible decision, but no one, except for Wayne, really, has ever said that Eddie was smart.

So, he tells the truth.

"I cut it," he says.

Steve continues to stare at him. "What?"

"I cut the string," Eddie says. "With a dagger."

"Those don't exist."

"They do. One showed up for me. I used it to cut the string because I thought I was going to die, and I didn't want you to feel it," Eddie says.

"You're lying," Steve says, voice wavering, face crumpling.

"If I were lying, I'd do it better," Eddie snaps. He's exhausted and doesn't want to fight but he knows that's what's going to happen.

Steve thought about his soulmate constantly. Eddie cut the string.

"Do you know what it felt like?" Steve says.

"Yeah," Eddie says. "It was the worst pain I've ever felt."

Worse than the bats that laid him up in here, worse than the surgeries and the pull of stitches every time he tries to move. Worse worse worse.

"Me too," Steve says, and oh, he's gone quiet. Cold. The tone seeps into Eddie's bones, and he really, really doesn't like where this is going.

"You made me feel the worst pain of my life when we were going against Vecna," Steve says. "It hurt so bad that Robin was ready to drag me out and leave Nancy by herself. You put us all in danger."

"I'm sorry," Eddie says, but he can barely get those three syllables out before Steve keeps going.

"You put us in danger, you put the rest of the Party in danger, and for what?"

"I was trying to protect you."

"It still fucking hurt!" Steve shouts. "It still hurt. You did nothing. You accomplished nothing."

Eddie will not cry here. He won't.

"Steve-"

"Did you know that I thought about you every day?" Steve whispers.

"Yes," Eddie says, because fuck it, why not be honest? He has nothing left to lose.

"Do you know how excited I got when I saw the string? When you thought of me, too?"

"No," Eddie says because he stayed away from Steve Harrington all throughout high school on account of the principles and stereotypes he's realizing weren't true at all.

"I didn't think you would," Steve says. "Because you didn't fucking think, even for a second, about anything besides what? Your own guilt?"

Eddie won't cry. He won't let Steve have the satisfaction of seeing him do it.

It's getting harder, though.

"I thought of you," Eddie says instead.

"First time?" Steve asks mockingly, and before Eddie can say anything to that, he's out the door.

Then, and only then, does Eddie let himself cry.

It hurts.

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Medicine time

TW: nothing, I think? I mean just some talk about being sick but nothing actually happens (like throwing up)

Also I know Trelawney (probably) wasn't a teacher back in their days, but it was just easier for me to write that way.

Word count: 5 000

The little signs of the upcoming full moon had started slowly that day. When he first woke up, the morning sun coming through the window was just a tad bit too much, and his back had ached a bit more than normally in the mornings. The different smells didn't start to annoy him until lunch, and the potions lesson after that was horrible. He tried to ignore it the best he could, but when the barely noticeable headache he had had since transfigurations had turned into a pounding one by the fifth, he couldn't ignore it anymore.

He was glad that it was Friday, meaning he could just stay in bed in the dark until Monday once he was done with lessons. But the fact that it was this bad on a Friday when the moon wasn't full until Monday, told him something he didn't really want to know.

The last lesson was divination, climbing the many steps made him feel dizzy, so much so that he had to steady himself against the stone wall before climbing the ladder up to the classroom after James. Sirius followed behind him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder when the smells of different herbs and perfumes off the classroom hit him.

“Alright?” He asked, looking worriedly at Remus, who nodded slightly, giving him a small smile after a minute. Sirius nodded, grabbing Remus' hand and pulling him further into the classroom, looking for the table James and Peter had picked; it was in the back of the class, in the darkest corner. They were pretty much sure that Trelawney didn't even see that far. Well, at least they hadn't been told off for sleeping in class in that corner, or not participating in whatever nonsense she was teaching.

Remus took a seat in one of the armchairs, throwing off the burgundy see—through scarf that had probably been forgotten there. The scarf smelled so much like perfume that it made James cough when it was thrown his way.

Sirius rested their hands on the armrest of the chair as he dug out his divination book, just for good measure if Trelawney happened to walk by their table. Remus dug out his books too, along with his notes and quill, but just set them down on his lap, not bothering to even look like he was doing something.

For once, he was glad of the dim lighting of the classroom, usually it bothered him as he couldn't see what he was writing or reading, but today it didn't. It would be perfect, but the scent of the herbs made him want to throw up and her high misty voice sounded more annoying than normally.

Remus could feel Sirius' thumb slowly rubbing small circles on his wrist, he appreciated it, it gave him something else to think about. Even though all the scents annoyed his heightened senses and irritated his nose, it still made him quite tired and after a while he couldn't help but close his eyes, resting his head on his arms on the armrest. Before he actually fell asleep, he could feel Sirius start to play with his hair, it felt nice, and comforting.

Remus never slept in class, never. No matter how tired or sick he was, he'd never fall asleep in class. But there he was now, dead asleep, a few minutes after resting his head down. Sirius looked at his boyfriend, feeling so bad for what he had to go through and just for him. Even though he was sleeping, Sirius continued to play with his hair, barely listening to what the professor was teaching them about palmistry.

When the class had finally dragged to the end, Sirius gently shook Remus awake, who groaned, even though sleeping had helped just slightly. “C'mon moons get up, let's go to our dorm.” Sirius whispered, and Remus opened his eyes, looking around confused before he realized where he was. He blinked a few times before getting up, letting Sirius grab his hand again and lead him out of the class.

They walked slowly towards the Gryffindor tower, seeing Lily coming down the corridor after a while going in the direction of the library, but she stopped in front of the pair. “Where are you going?” She asked.

Sirius looked at Remus, who was looking at Lily, trying to think for a minute of what to say “To our dorm.” He said simply, adjusting the bag better over his shoulder.

“You promised to come study with me after lessons.” Lily reminded. “Is everything alright?” She asked, sounding slightly concerned as she looked at Remus.

The thing was, she didn't know of his \little problem. Remus coughed to get rid of the sudden dryness in his throat. “Mm yeah, I'm alright. Just forgot.” He smiled, trying to look as alive as he possibly could. “You go. I'll come in a bit.” Lily nodded, walking past them and continuing towards the library. Remus turned to look at Sirius, who looked worried.

“You could've just told her you're sick. Because moony, you need to be in bed.  Not studying.” He said, and Remus nodded, knowing Sirius was right. But he had already promised, so he couldn't tell her now that he couldn't.

“I'll be fine. It's only for a few hours.” Remus said quietly, and Sirius nodded, even though he didn't quite believe what he said. “See you at dinner?” He asked.

“Of course.” Sirius smiled, reaching up onto his tiptoes to give Sirius a kiss before walking off. Remus smiled slightly before turning around to walk to the library after lily. He found her at their usual table in the far back corner, it was quiet and other students rarely came there, and Remus really appreciated that right now.

He pulled out his transfiguration book and a quill, he had to write an essay, it wasn't due until next Friday, but he didn't remember any of the other homework they had been given. So he started to scribble something on the paper, something he knew he'd throw away later.

“Remus?” Lily whispered after a while, he looked up, humming slightly. “Are you sure you're alright? You look a bit, eh, peaky.”

“Just didn't sleep well, I'm alright.” He attempted to give her a smile, but he wasn't sure if he succeeded at that or not, probably not.

“You're shaking and haven't written anything down in five minutes, just been staring off to space.” Lily said, sounding actually concerned of him, and Remus felt bad for doing that. “Are you getting sick?”

“I feel okay, Lils.” He lied. “Don't worry.”

“You'd tell me if something was really wrong, right?”

“Of course.” Remus smiled, continuing to write his essay. He felt bad for lying to her, he always did when he had to lie to someone. But he couldn't possibly tell her. He wasn't sure if she'd understand, she probably would, but he didn't want to take that risk or make her think differently of him. So, he was sticking with the lie, even though he didn't like it.

Lily didn't ask more questions about his well-being after that, which was good, she just continued doing her homework. He sighed of relief when the two hours had finally passed, and they could stop and go to the great hall. He didn't want to go there though, it was so loud there, and he definitely didn't want to eat. But he had promised Sirius, so he made his way there, and sat down next to him.

He dropped his bag onto the floor, and rested his head on his arms on the table. He just wanted to sleep, and be somewhere quiet. “Rem?” Remus turned his head to the side to look at Sirius, he looked even more worried than before. “Wanna eat something?” He shook his head, burying it back into his arms.

Sirius quickly ate his dinner, before shaking Remus' shoulder to get him up. “Let's go.” He said, and Remus just nodded, taking Sirius' hand, who took his bag before starting to lead him up to their dorm. He just trailed behind Sirius as they made their way up to their dorm.

He didn't even really notice where they were until Sirius whispered the password to the portrait, and it swung open. He sat down on his bed once they were in their dorm, he just wanted to fall into it, and pull the covers over him and never get up.

Sirius set their bags down and went to dig out some more comfortable clothes for Remus because their school uniforms definitely weren't. He found Remus favorite jumper, it was a warm dark blue one with some kind of pattern going along it, then just found a pair of joggers. He gave them to Remus who had been watching him. "I'll be right back." Sirius whispered, kissing his forehead, before disappearing to the bathroom.

He came back after a while he had a towel and a bucket with him, then he went to switch the lights off before he came back over to the bed Remus was in. He set the bucket down on the floor, and the towel on the bedside table before sitting down on the bed, with his back against the headboard.

"C'mere, moons." He said, moving so he was on the other side of the bed. "Head on my lap, I'll give you a little massage." Remus nodded, laying down on the bed with his head on sirius' lap, it felt good to lay down after today. "Wanna tell me what's bothering you?"

"Everything." He mumbled. "head the most." Sirius nodded to himself, starting to thread his fingers through remus' hair, scratching his scalp at the same time.

"I have something I think might help you. With the headache." Sirius said, after a while, Remus hummed to show that he was listening. Sirius nodded, reaching for the towel from the bedside table. He had run it under cold water and then put a spell on it to keep it cold. "It's a bit cold." He warned before pressing it against Remus' neck.

Remus jumped at the coldness, before relaxing, it felt nice. "Close your eyes, love." Sirius whispered, going back to playing with his hair, Remus nodded, making himself more comfortable there. "Do you want to sleep?"

" 's too early." He mumbled.

"Mm, maybe a bit. How did studying with Lily go?"

"Didn't get anything done." He yawned, cracking his eyes open to find sirius' other hand and take it into his, he closed them once his fingers were intertwined with his. "She kept askin' if I'm alright."

"Well you don't exactly look alright, my lovely moons." If Remus would've had any strength left in him to smack sirius' arm, he would've had, so he just weakly tapped his forearm before taking his hand back into his own.

"Hey. Not true."

Sirius chuckled. "No of course it's not true because it is everyday that you look like you've just woken from the dead."

"Stop bullying me." Remus mumbled, hiding his face, but Sirius could see a small smile on his lips. He turned to look at Sirius after a while. "You're not allowed to make fun of me when I'm not feeling well."

"Am I not?" Remus shook his head, resting his head back down. "What if I still do?"

"You won't get my chocolate."

Sirius gasped. "Oh no, I better stop then." He chuckled and Remus hummed.

"You better."

"Do you have any chocolate?" Sirius asked, and Remus nodded. "where?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Why not?"

"You're gonna eat them all."

"I'd never do such a thing." Remus laughed quietly. "I'm being serious moony, I know better than to steal your chocolate. You'd murder me."

He shook his head. "I love you too much to murder, only torture a bit."

"Oh, how nice of you." He chuckled, going back to brushing his hand through remus' hair. "Well I can only hope that my non murderous boyfriend will learn to share at some point."

Remus hummed again, and a silence fell over them after that. Sirius was honestly surprised that Remus was this chatty because usually when the full moon was approaching he was really quiet, rarely saying anything. Maybe he was just overly tired, that tended to make him chatty. But he didn't mind. It was quiet for a while and Sirius was pretty sure Remus had fallen asleep.

"I feel bad for lying to her." He whispered quietly.

"To Lily?" He nodded. "have you- have you thought of telling her about our furry little friend?"

"Mhm." He mumbled. "I don't want her to think differently about me because of it."

"She wouldn't." Sirius said, trying to think of a proper answer, something that would comfort him at least a little. "You know, she'd probably understand. Because well, it's lily." Remus shook his head. "She'd find every book in the library that even has the slight mention of the word werewolf. Then she'd read them all so she could understand it all better, and then you'd get sick of her asking if you're okay."

"Do you really think that?" Remus asked, lifting his head to look at Sirius. He nodded, tucking a dirty blond curl behind his ear, it only barely stayed there, but it did.

"I don't only think that, I know that." Sirius said, in the most matter of fact tone he could find, and Remus smiled tiredly, about to say something when the lights suddenly flicked on. He ducked his head down, shielding his eyes from the bright light, Sirius ran a hand through his hair, sending a death stare to James who had just came into their dorm, followed by Peter. "Turn the lights off, idiot." He said, and James looked back at him with wide eyes, glancing at Remus before switching the lights off.

Sirius reached to draw the curtains close around the bed, to try to make it even more dark. "Come up here, I want proper cuddles." Remus slowly crawled over to Sirius, resting his aching head on his chest, throwing one of his legs over Sirius', half laying on top of him, but Sirius just smiled. He pulled the blanket over both of them, before wrapping his arms around Remus.

He let out a happy sounding noise, rubbing his nose against Sirius' collarbone for a minute, if it was any other evening Sirius would have laughed at his antics, but tonight he didn't, he just smiled to himself, thinking the boy looked really cute like that.

Remus' breathing started to even out after a minute of being there, Sirius closed his eyes, adjusting his head on the pillow. He decided to wait until Remus would fall asleep before letting himself drift off. "I love you, moons, sleep well."

"Mm, love you too." He mumbled already more asleep than awake. Sirius could feel the head resting on his chest grow heavier as he was pulled more into sleep. "We never sleep like this." He slurred after a while, clearly trying to fight off sleep.

That was true, it was usually the other way around, Remus liked sleeping on his back more, that way it didn't hurt that much in the morning, and Sirius liked to sleep curled up around his boyfriend, his head resting on his chest.

"We don't, but you need it now. I don't mind, rem." He whispered, running his hand through remus' hair. "Shush now, let's sleep." Remus nodded, it didn't take long for him to fall asleep after the day he had had, and Sirius wasn't that far behind him.

– –

Saturday was even worse. He felt weak and nauseous and just overall bad. He hadn't slept well, he kept waking up to sudden shooting pains in his head, and to the smallest noises.

He pulled the covers more over him and turned to his side once he heard the door open. It was already afternoon, but he had been sleeping most of the day off. Then he heard something being set down onto the nightstand and someone sit down next to him on the bed.

When the covers were pulled back, he slowly opened his eyes, only to see Sirius smiling at him. “Morning, sleeping beauty.” He hid his head on the pillow at that, trying to swat away the hand that came to brush his hair away. “Hey, no hiding, Re. You need to eat something.”

“Absolutely not.” He mumbled, looking back at Sirius.

“C'mon you need to eat, even if you don't want to. You haven't eaten since lunch. Yesterday.”

“It's gonna come right back up.” He argued, but Sirius shook his head. “Sirius, please no.”

“You start feeling more sick because you haven't eaten. Besides, I only got you some toast with butter and water.” Remus nodded, slowly sitting up and accepting the plate and water bottle Sirius gave him.

He ate slowly, not wanting to be sick or feel even worse. He ate the two lightly buttered slices of toast, and took a few sips of the water before setting the things back down onto the nightstand.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, once Remus stopped eating, and leaned against the headboard.

“Fucking horrible.” Remus said, glancing at Sirius, who frowned slightly.

“I could go ask Poppy if she'd have something to help you?” He suggested, but Remus shook his head. “Okay moony, but if you get any worse, I'm going.”

“Okay.”

“Something you want, need?” He asked then, but Remus didn't answer. “I can give you some cuddles, or I can read to you, or I can go away if you'd like.”

“Stay?” He asked, looking back at Sirius, who nodded, moving to sit down next to him. Remus leaned his head on Sirius' shoulder, closing his eyes.

“Want me to do something?” Remus shook his head, getting closer to him when Sirius shifted, so he was sitting against the headboard better. “Lay down, love. You'd be much more comfortable.” Remus did what he was told, shifting, so he was laying down, cuddling close to Sirius.

He hid his face partly into Sirius' stomach, who started to play with his hair, and took one of Remus' hands into his. “You've been smoking.” Remus mumbled after a minute, rubbing his nose against Sirius' jumper to get rid of an itch.

“Is it irritating? I can take the jumper off, if that helps.” Remus shook his head, for some reason that smell wasn't too much, it was something so familiar and just safe that he didn't mind it.

He closed his eyes again, feeling like he could fall asleep once more, even though he had already slept for most of the day. He listened to the slow and quiet humming, making him fall asleep almost immediately, the hand in his hair only helping.

Sirius was really worried about him, Remus hadn't been this bad before a full moon in almost a year. Usually, it was only the day before, not a few days like this. It was horrible and heartbreaking to watch his boyfriend be in so much pain, but at the same time, he was glad that he could make it at least a bit better.

He didn't mind that he had to be there to take care of him and just sit there to be used as a pillow. He didn't mind because he knew Remus would do the same thing for him, and he couldn't just possibly be away when Remus was feeling so horrible.

Even though he had fallen asleep, Sirius kept playing with his hair, just watching over him to make sure he was alright. He seemed peaceful while he slept, although the pained look on his face didn't go away even when he was sleeping.

He pulled the blanket over them when he noticed Remus shiver a few times, cuddling closer to him. He woke up after about an hour of sleeping, hiding his face in Sirius' stomach as he was pulled out of sleep.

“ 'm cold.” He whispered, and Sirius pulled the blanket better over them, tucking it tighter around him, before moving his hand up to Remus' forehead.

“You feel a bit warm, love.” He said, worried. Remus didn't get fevers often when he was like this, but he sometimes did and when he got them it was usually terrible. “Are you really feeling cold?”

“So fucking cold.”

“Okay, how about I get you another jumper? And maybe a blanket?” Remus nodded against him, and with that, Sirius got up from underneath him. He grabbed another jumper for Remus and his own blanket from his bed, before walking back over. “Sit up?” Remus slowly sat up, looking up at him, blinking a few times before pulling the jumper he was given over his head.

“Can I go get Poppy?” Sirius asked, biting his lip as he looked at the state Remus was in, but he shook his head, closing his eyes as the movement caused him pain. “Please Rem, I'm starting to get scared.”

Remus looked up at him, seeming to understand that panicked tone in Sirius' voice, even though his head was working really slowly. Sirius felt relieved when Remus nodded.

“Wanna lay back down?” He asked, and Remus nodded again. He helped him lie down, tucking both of the blankets around him. “I'll be right back, yeah?”

“Okay.” He mumbled, already falling back to sleep, as he got more comfortable under the blankets. Sirius nodded to himself before leaving their dorm. He pulled the covers better over him when Sirius left, mostly hidden under the covers now, but he still felt so cold.

His slumber was disturbed once again when the door of their dorm opened and two sets of footsteps walked over to the bed. Then he felt a hand come up to his forehead, he opened his eyes, seeing poppy standing next to the bed. She gave him a sympathetic little smile, as she pulled her hand back.

“You feel a bit warm, Remus.” She said, and he nodded a little. “Could you sit up, so I can check you over?” He nodded again, slowly sitting up on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard. “Can you tell me how you're feeling?”

“Everything hurts, but mostly my head.” He explained slowly, glancing between madam pomfrey and Sirius, who was sitting down at the foot of the bed, looking distressed. “It's really cold.”

“Okay, Mr. Black told me that this started yesterday? And I assume it's only been getting worse since that, no?” He nodded. “I'm quickly going to take your temperature and then give you some medicine that'll hopefully help.”

“Okay.”

She took his temperature, it was a bit high but not too bad. “This one,” she said, showing a small bottle to both Sirius and Remus. “Helps with your fever, and take this before you go to bed for the night.” She explained more to Sirius, though kept looking at Remus. “Then this other one should help with your headache and other symptoms, more or less.”

She gave a dose of both of the medicines to Remus, before handing the two bottles to Sirius, who nodded. “Is there something else I can do?” Sirius asked, biting his lip as he looked at his boyfriend. He looked absolutely miserable there.

“A lot of sleep and rest, there's really nothing else we can do, but if it does get worse during the night, please come to me in the morning.” Sirius nodded again before she left.

“Alright, moons, time to have some more rest.” He smiled, getting up and setting the two bottles on the nightstand before getting in next to Remus, slowly shifting, so they were laying down, and he could cuddle up to him.

He pulled the blankets over them, kissing Remus' head once he got settled down on his chest. “I love you, moony.” He whispered after a moment, hearing Remus mumble something similar in response.

Sirius fell asleep too with Remus, it wasn't that late yet, but he was tired too. When he woke up about an hour later, Remus was already awake, watching James and Peter playing chess in the dark.

“Feeling any better?” Sirius asked, yawning quietly as he looked around.

“A bit.”

"That's good, love. Still cold?" Remus nodded, hiding his face more into the jumper that was pulled up to his nose. "What time is it?" He asked, still feeling a bit out from just waking up

"Little over ten." James said, looking away from their chess game for a second, he was losing. He only had a few pieces left in the game while Peter was about two moves away from winning.

Sirius nodded, brushing his hand through Remus' hair again as he watched the two play. "Let me win for once." James groaned, flopping down onto the floor as he lost. Remus winced slightly at the somewhat loud noise. Sirius held his hand over his ear, trying to block the noise out as Peter and James started to put away their chess pieces.

After they got up from the floor, going to get ready for bed, Sirius closed the curtains around their bed. "Thank you." Remus whispered, looking at Sirius who smiled, leaning to kiss his forehead.

"Don't need to thank me, love." He said, but Remus shook his head. "I'm just glad you're feeling even a bit better now."

"My head is not that- foggy anymore." He said, trying to think for a better word.

"That's good. I was really worried about you earlier." Remus just nodded, not sure what he should say. "Hasn't been this bad in a long time has it?"

Remus shook his head. "Sorry for worrying you." He whispered, resting his head back down onto sirius' chest. "And for making you scared."

"It's okay, don't be sorry, rem." He whispered softly, rubbing his back. "It's going to be over soon, yeah?" Remus nodded, sitting up so he could pull off the other jumper he was wearing, bit quickly getting back under the blankets, and close to Sirius. This time, laying his head on the same pillow so he could look at Sirius.

"I'm really scared, Siri." Remus whispered after a while when he heard the quiet noises around the stop as both James and Peter climbed into their beds.

"What are you scared of?" He asked, brushing a stray strand of hair behind his ear, watching as tears slowly started to well up in his eyes. He saw Remus glance towards the window, even though he couldn't see out of it right now due to the curtains. "Of the moon?"

He nodded, trying his best to blink the tears away. "It's bad." He whispered, slightly leaning into the touch as Sirius cupped his cheek, gently brushing his thumb over his cheekbone. That only made him want to cry more, unable to hold all the emotions in anymore. "I don't want to, Sirius. I don't -"

"I know, love." He said simply, wiping away the tear that fell down from the corner of his eye. "C'mere, love." Sirius whispered, pulling Remus close to him, and the boy hid his face into sirius' chest, tears slowly started to fall down.

"It's going to be alright, rem." He said, holding him close. He wasn't sure what he could actually say or do to make it better somehow, because there wasn't really anything to make it better. If he could he'd take all of it away from Remus, but unfortunately he couldn't do that.

Remus shook his head, letting out a few quiet sobs. "Shh, don't cry, it's okay, I promise, love. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it's gonna be alright." He whispered into remus' hair, rubbing his back at the same time. "But remember you don't have to be alone, I'll be there yeah? And so is Jamey and Peter, right? We're all gonna be there, right with you."

He nodded slightly. "Y-you gonna stay? When it's o-over?"

"Of course I'll stay with you." He said, kissing his head. "You don't have to be alone with this, never ever." He nodded again.

They were quiet for a while, Remus slowly calming down, the tears slowly drying out and the quiet sobs turning to small sniffles. He only hid his face more into sirius' chest as the headache got worse from his tears.

"Aw, that's no good." He whispered, reaching up to gently massage his temples, to try to ease the headache at least a bit. "Want another cold towel? Did that help yesterday?" Remus nodded, frowning a bit as Sirius got up from the bed. But he came back soon, sitting down onto the bed and grabbing the two bottles from the nightstand. "Medicine time."

Remus sat up, taking the bottles and taking both of them before, laying back down. Watching as Sirius pulled of his jumper before getting back under the covers, pulling Remus close to him again.

He rested his head on Sirius' chest, jumping slightly as the cold towel was pressed against his neck, but closed his eyes after a minute. He listened to sirius' calm breathing and calm heartbeat.

"Sirius?" Remus whispered after a while, lifting his head slightly so he could look at him, he hummed, opening his eyes to look at Remus. "Thank you." Sirius was about to open his mouth to protest, but Remus interrupted him before he could say anything. "No really, thank you. F-for just being there."

"Of course I'll be here."

"But why?"

Sirius smiled a little sadly, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. "Because, I care about you and love you, no matter what. I hate seeing you like this, so if there's anything I can possibly do to make it even a little better, I'll do it."

Remus only nodded, when he laid his head back down. "I love you too." He whispered.

"I love you more, now go to sleep. You need to rest, moony."

"I can't sleep."

"Hmm, well what if I read to you and you try to sleep?" He suggested trying to think of something that would help him sleep, or relax at least.

"I'm not six, I don't need a bedtime story."

"Sixteen and six are quite close, no?" He asked, earning a small smile from Remus. "But no seriously, I can read to you if you want, it's no problem." Remus only nodded slightly, watching as Sirius reached for the bedside table and pulled out a book. He recognized it as the one he had found from the library a few days ago.

Sirius started to read quietly from the first chapter, and Remus listened, first following the text at the same time Sirius read, but closed his eyes after a while, slowly starting to drift off to sleep. Sirius finished the chapter, before putting the book down, almost sure Remus had fallen asleep.

"Goodnight love, sleep well. I love you." He heard a mumbled response from Remus, Sirius kissed his head, leaning more into the pillows, and slowly falling asleep.

A/N:

Alright, hello :)

Okay, that was long, I hope you liked it and that it doesn't repeat itself too much (I felt like that when writing but when I read it I don't think it is) anyway, I might be wrong.

Schools hit harder than I thought, literally someone help me please, anyway I've had this in my wip pile for a while and few days ago wrote the ending.

But like I said, school hit hard so I'm not sure how much time/energy I'll have to write but we'll see, right

Anyway, I hope you liked this

<3