#me. i think my teenager hood and also this one summer with my dad in college where he was beating me

[recents]

future reminder to self in case i convince myself it’s fine to not pace anymore in my apartment and not make noise when i walk and try not to make much noise at home so that the guy who lives underneath us doesn’t bring a fucking gun next time and doesn’t fucking kill my fucking bf and i because i was pacing and i dont know how to walk right. again. jesus christ

[snowviolettwhite]

Spent today working on the mood-board for my upcoming 9-1-1 Alternative Universe Fan-Fiction Set In 2011. Making moodboard and doing interested boards help inspire me and get ideas flowing. So I want to share it. Look how adorable teenage Buck, Eddie and Shannon are. They look so young, little cutie pies.

It will be called "don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up." It is from Harry Style's Matilda.

Below is what I have written so far, it is still in the works. You can also check out my 9-1-1: Lone Star Fan-Fiction.

---

Set in the early 2010s with barely eighteen and barely out of high school Buck and Eddie running away from home to California and joining the fire academy and eventually joining the 118. Eddie would bring baby Christopher with him. Eddie's parent did not think he was mature and adult enough to take care of Chris as a 20-something year old, so is would be even worse for teenagers, people who are transiting from childhood/teenage-hood to young adulthood and still being treated like kids.

---

It is June of 2011. The schools wide across the nation are all out for summer vacation from Hershey, Pennsylvania to El Paso, Texas.

Evan Buckley is the blonde, blue eye rascal who is always getting hurt and in trouble. He is the baby of the family but the only person who has ever paid attention to him is his big sister Maddie.

Edmundo Diaz is the young teen dad who got his best friend and girlfriend pregnant. He is the middle child and was the sane one compared to sisters until now.

They say if you want to be treated like an adult act like an adult. How are supposed to act like an adult at eighteen years old, haven’t been out of high school even a month, being dragged home by the cops and being scolded at the front door or being yelled in your childhood bedroom. Sometimes this makes you want to run away.     

----

It is June of 2011.

The city of El Paso, Texas school district has let for summer break and held graduation for this year’s high school seniors, they are no longer twelfth graders.

They are adults or as much as one can feel like an adult at eighteen years old, and silently sobbing in your childhood bedroom, hugging your worn-out stuffed animal dog with your back pressed against the door, trying not to wake your napping infant son who in his crib as your mother is yelling at you.

“Edmundo Diaz, you are in so much trouble young man. Open this door right now! You live under in my house. You live by my rules and aren’t too old to be put over my knees. Just wait until your father gets home. I can’t do deal with you.”

Edmundo Diaz or Eddie as he prefers being called was a good catholic boy. He never misbehaved or caused trouble but a little too soft, that was until Shannon showed up. They met in the eighth grade. They became best friends and were inseparable until they lose touch but found their way back to each other. She introduced herself being all sweet and friendly. She was sunshine. His family hated Shannon. They said she was a bad influence on him and he started acting different after meeting her. She was his first kiss, his first girlfriend, this first time. Good catholic boys wait until marriage, she is his first and only.

Shannon will back soon, she is visiting colleges in California. When she comes back they will make a plan for themselves and for their beautiful baby boy, Christopher. For now, he has been having never ending fights with his parents. It is about how stupid he was getting a girl pregnant while still in high school and a teenager or how he needs to toughen up or grow up. It is kind of hard to grow up when nobody goes around hiring eighteen-year-old and your parents are still treating you like a child.

“Edmundo, how could you let this happen? You and Shannon are still kids. You are barely able to take care of yourselves. How are you supposed to take care of a baby?”

---

Inspired By This Photo:

[100dayproductivity]

92/100.

Grief Days 4-9

Oh wow Tumblr, have not been really keeping up with this daily Grief Journal, have I? That's because my children were with me this week, and having them here keeps the grief at bay and also fills up my time.

But my heart is heavy and sad again right now because my eldest just left for university. She was excited but maybe also a little nervous and pre-homesick (not sure what to call that feeling, when you know you're going to miss the people, places and things but haven't actually left yet).

I've already unpacked this part of my grief--the part that's not only about my cat dying, but also about my first-born growing up and leaving the nest (sort of; not completely moved out yet, there will still be summers and holidays for now!)

I've also unpacked that my other child is well into teenage-hood now and needs me less and less every day. There is grief there too, about the end of being a mommy to little ones. It's a lot to adjust to in a short amount of time. They grow up so fast!

There is still more to this grief I need to unpack. This one's kind of a doozy. So, my children's father is planning to move to another country. He wants to take my younger child with him. I am not on board with this at all. I can handle my eldest moving away for university, she's grown now and she's only a couple of hours away. I am not okay with my younger child moving overseas for the better part of the year and only seeing him once a year during the summer. No way. The thought of that scenario gives me an immense amount of grief. I don't know how things will pan out but the likelihood of having to fight to keep him with me, and the animosity the situation gives rise to, gives me anxiety. Together with all the other grief, I'm teetering on the edge of panic. Hence the reason I need to stay on the slightly increased dosage of anxiety medication for the time being.

Right now I'm okay. My younger child is here with me this week. He starts high school in a few days. Once both my children settle into school and we all settle into our new routine, things will get easier for me and this heaviness in my heart will subside. I think. Will it? I guess it will. It does for other people, doesn't it? My parents went through this, didn't they?

Speaking of my parents, that's the final part of this grief I need to unpack. My parents have both been gone for some time now. The grief of losing my cat reminded me of the grief of losing my parents and grandparents. New grief always reopens the wounds of old grief. So I'm not just grieving my cat, I'm grieving my mom, my dad, my grandma, my grandpa, all over again.

I just have to take it one day at a time.

[letterstotheflre]

that’s the thing about illicit affairs

summary: james was never hers to lose.

warnings: CHEATING, age gap (not specified but reader is in her 20s), tiiiny angst?? i don’t think it’s sad lmao, allusions to sex and one miniature sex scene, some food mentions, and a very badly written argument.

word count: 3k (why are they always so long ffs)

a/n: my first james potter fic <3 i love this man so much, sorry for making you the bad guy here. this one’s been sitting in my drafts for a few weeks, and since i’ve been feeling kinda sad i finally got around to edit it. also hedric rights!!

They always meet like this.

The room is dark except for a small sea salt lamp she bought on sale from Target. Her clothes are piling up on the floor, discarded carelessly by her lover, and his are not too far from meeting the same fate.

He is kissing her hungrily as he could never get enough of her. His hands travel all over her back while she unbuttons his shirt, their lips never parting. He moves her to her bed, the sheets a pale green that reminds him of—

No. He closes his eyes tightly, pretends the green is actually blue like the lacy bralette that covers her breasts and moves his lips down to her jaw. He sucks and nips and bites, letting her moans echo freely between the four walls that make their little sanctuary.

Her hands quickly undo his belt and stroke him lightly through the fabric of his boxers. He groans against the junction of her neck, the skin softer than anything he’s touched in years.

He pushes her down on the bed, cupping her face while he looks at her properly, noting the tangled hair caused by his fingers. Her lips are puffy and shiny, his kisses being the perpetrator of their current state. He waits for her to say something, to give him a sign that this is okay.

(It’s not okay, and they both know it. It’ll never be okay.)

She nods her head, and he kneels in front of her, pushing her legs wide open before he dives in.

—

She is laying on her bed, the sheets covering her body as she watches him try to fix up his hair in front of the mirror on her makeshift vanity.

“Make sure no one sees you leave,” she says, “and put—”

“Put my hood up, I know,” he finishes the sentence for her. It’s not the first time they do this dance.

“Sirius and Remus are with Harry at home. I told them I was going for a run, so they won’t say anything if I show up all sweaty,” he adds, trying to fill the awkward silence.

She just nods her head, fingers playing with a loose thread on the edge of the sheet, pulling it a bit more every time she twists her index finger. He steps forward, then sits on her bed and traces her cheekbone with his knuckles. “You know I care about you, right?” he asks.

Her heart clenches, a heavy weight pressing down on her chest that makes it hard to breathe for a second. She lowers her eyes, refusing to stare at those hazel irises that started everything. “I know, James,” she assures quietly, looking at a picture of her and Harry that’s stuck to the wall just behind him.

James brushes back some stray hairs that are still stuck to her forehead, then presses a small kiss on the slightly sweaty skin. He gives her a tentative smile before heading to the door, and she only looks in his direction when she hears the click of the door.

(He might care, but not enough.)

—

Sundays are always a slightly awkward affair at first.

Both of their families have been friends for years, getting together every Sunday for lunch at the Potter’s. James and Sirius always man the grill with her dad, all of them wearing those corny ‘kiss the chef!’ aprons. Her mother helps Lily make the salads in the kitchen while they gossip with Remus, who steals a few tomatoes when they aren’t looking. Now that it’s summer, she and Harry splash each other in the pool instead of catching up in his room.

It’s always strange seeing James in the light of day, pretending that this is the only version of him she knows: the version of him that is a friend, a father, a husband.

But she knows the other version of him: the one that has her on her knees begging for a taste of him, the one that grips her hair while he pounds into her from behind, the one that lets his tongue explore places of her no one else has. The version of him that kisses her forehead and plays with her fingers while their bodies are tangled together under the sheets. The version of him that kisses her as if she were the only one made for him.

(She isn’t.)

They are sitting around the table eating. Sirius is laughing about something with his arm around Remus’s shoulders, his bark of laughter echoing across the garden. Her mother’s shoulders shake as Lily rolls her eyes in amusement. James and her father have gone back to the grill to bring everyone their second round of burgers, and she can hear her father complaining about something from work.

“Here y’go, kid,” says James as he places the plate in front of her before ruffling her hair. She tenses up for a second before relaxing, muttering a small “thank you” before reaching for the ketchup.

She hates that nickname. It’s so impersonal, keeps a distance between them that truly doesn’t exist. As if he isn’t the only person that can make her vision whiten and the colours of her room hazy while she clutches his shoulders. As if he isn’t the only person who can pull so many different sounds from her vocal cords, sounds he knows no one else has ever heard before because he is the only one who can create them.

She can feel Sirius’s eyes on her as she stretches one arm, so she hesitantly glances at him. He raises an eyebrow, eyes switching back and forth between James and her, and she can see the cogs turning in his mind.

She gulps anxiously, dismissing him with a wave of her hand and goes back to eating.

—

James’s moans are loud as he gathers her hair in a makeshift ponytail. His cock is buried in her throat, and he watches as she gags for a second before relaxing her throat.

She’s taking him so deep that her nose nuzzles his pubic hair, the musky scent of James filling her nose as she breathes deeply through it. She starts moving her head up and down, swirling her tongue around the tip every time she rises.

He is a mess above her, needy whines and wanton moans leaving his mouth. His hips thrust up softly, slowly fucking her mouth, and he relishes in the small choking sounds she makes. His head rolls back as he groans, “That’s it, baby, so good to me.”

She winces at the name and pulls away from him. “Don’t call me that,” she mutters, but her hands never stop stroking him. She takes him back into her mouth and starts sucking with a newfound fervour, his voice echoing inside her head as she tries to make him forget about her.

(She tries to forget too.)

—

Honey rays filter through her window.

They are both laying on her bed, James on his stomach while she refills the glasses with some cheap wine she got from the store. He looks at the tiny purple splotches on her neck and the red fingerprints on her hips, then smirks proudly. When she turns, she smiles at him softly.

There’s a summer breeze that ruffles her curtains, and he can hear some teenagers laughing as they walk down the street over the music that plays from her speaker.

She places her glass on her nightstand, her nipples brushing his naked back as she leans over him. She lays down on her side, her fingertips softly drawing shapes on his skin. It takes him a moment to realize they are not random shapes but letters.

Her name, written over his scattered freckles and connecting his moles with cursive loops.

He takes her hand and kisses it, slightly chapped lips pressing against her open palm. Then he kisses her lips, still bitterly sweet with grapes, as his tongue moves languidly against hers while he pulls her by the hand on top of him.

It feels like a distant memory. It feels like a dream.

—

The cacophony of different voices singing “Happy Birthday” rings in her ears.

Harry is at the front of the table, an adorable blush dusting his cheeks at the attention. On either side of him are James and Lily, smiles wide as they watch their son blow the candles. Cedric is behind him, hands on his shoulders, and he leans forward to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

She sings and claps, whooping with Sirius when Harry blows the last candle. She eats cake and drinks the pretty cocktails Lily ordered. She smiles and laughs, pretends she couldn’t see the way the candles made the golden band on James’s ring finger beam like the sun.

She pretends she doesn’t see the way James holds Lily’s waist before kissing her. She pretends she can’t see them dancing slowly to a song Remus put on the Spotify playlist as a joke.

She pretends she can’t hear his footsteps following her when she goes to the bathroom. She feigns disinterest when he grabs her wrist and pulls her towards a deserted corridor.

But she can’t ignore the butterflies in her stomach when he kisses her, the thrumming in her veins when he pushes one leg between her thighs, nor the pleasure-filled gasps and moans that leave her mouth when he helps her roll her hips along his covered thigh.

It’s thrilling; they’ve never done something like this in public, much less in such proximity to friends and family.

(In such proximity to her.)

Even though she knows it shouldn’t, it gives her a sense of victory. Because he is here with her now: he is kissing her, making her moan, and whispering dirty things in her ear.

A faraway call of his name breaks the spell they’re under. They pull away hastily; she fixes her dress while James makes sure there are no lipstick stains on his face. The footsteps are getting closer, heels hitting the floorboards at the same rhythm as their rapid beating hearts.

It’s Sirius.

James almost breathes a sigh of relief, but she remains tensed up. Sirius looks between them, the same look he had that Sunday all those weeks ago on his face, and she feels bile rising in her throat.

“Lily’s looking for you,” he says, his thumb pointing back over his shoulder towards the reception where everyone’s gathered.

“Right,” says James. “Better go see what she needs. You do not want to see an angry drunk Lily.” He laughs, almost oblivious to the awkward tension between his two friends. He goes back to Lily, leaving her leaning against the wall and Sirius standing in the middle of the hallway.

Sirius looks at her, and even though his mind already knows, he refuses to believe it. “I didn’t know where the bathroom was,” she offers as an explanation. It’s a flimsy excuse, she knows that, but it’s the best she can do under this kind of pressure.

“Right,” he whispers with a short nod, then follows James.

She stays rooted to her spot, lips tingling with the ghost of James touch and a guilty mind.

—

Hours later, she clings to a pillow as she lays on her bed alone. The same pillow James was resting on less than twelve hours ago.

She breathes in deeply, trying to catch any scent of him she can, but there’s only the scent of her fabric softener.

There’s no James. No citrus shampoo or woodsy cologne nor salty air from the beach near his house. Because he never wears any cologne when he comes to her, ensuring that there’s no trace of him once he leaves.

Like he doesn’t even exist.

—

It ends in a parking lot a month later.

She was waiting for Luna to arrive at the mall but ended up asking for a rain check when James texted her, saying they needed to talk.

‘Meet me behind the mall’, she texts him.

She walks to the back of the building and waits for his red car to show up. She already knows where this conversation is going to go, and her heart shatters at the thought of saying goodbye to him.

She raises her head when she hears a honk in front of her, and she gets in while whispering a small “hey”. He doesn’t start the car again, just settles for turning the ignition key off. She looks at the families leaving the mall through the tinted window, refusing to look at him, as her knee bounces up and down anxiously.

The silence is heavy, and she suddenly feels cold in the August heat.

James takes a deep breath, “We can’t keep doing this.”

She can’t help the snarky comment. “That’s not what you were saying yesterday while you had your fingers buried inside me.” He looks at her unimpressed, and she rolls her eyes.

“It’s wrong,” he says— as if she doesn’t already know that. “C’mon, baby, don’t make this harder than it has to—”

“I told you not to call me that!” she raises her voice, and the car gets silent again. She hates the tears that gather in her eyes, hates that she cares so much about him and their stupid game, but she couldn’t help it. Not when he whispered so many sweet nothings in her ears and caressed her skin so softly, almost afraid to break him if he was too rough.

(Not that he cared about that when he stretched her wide open and thrust so hard into her that the bed frame banged against the wall.)

“You can’t just show up here and tell me it’s over like you weren’t the one that came to me first,” she jeers, and she can see the tick of his jaw as he clenches it. Good, she thinks, make him angry.

“Don’t just blame me. You didn’t say ‘no’ once.” He grounds out, “In fact, I can recall you were begging me to fuck you against the wall.”

Her cheeks turn into a small fire, a slight feeling of shame overcoming her. “Oh, like you were any better!” she exclaims. “‘Been thinking about you for months.’ ‘You have no idea the things you do to me.’ ‘No one can suck my cock like you.’ ‘I care about you!’” She deepens her voice to mock him.

James opens his mouth to keep the ball rolling, and she wants him to do it because it meant that the fight was still on, that they wouldn’t have to end this. Instead, he takes a deep breath to calm himself. “I’m telling you now it’s over. Stop acting like a kid who didn’t get her Christmas present,” he says, knowing exactly what he is doing with those words.

“I’m not a kid,” she snaps, her eyes fighting back angry teats at his dismissal. “Then stop acting like one,” he shrugs.

Her hands turn into fists, nails digging themselves into her palms as she tries to keep her anger at bay. “Do you know how much of myself I gave to you? How many plans with my friends have I cancelled in case you called? How many guys I stopped seeing because they weren’t you?” she rants, her voice increasing in volume as she lets her frustration take over. Then, she pauses. “You’ve ruined me, James.”

Her voice is so pained that it makes his heart clench, and he lowers his head, refusing to look at her. He knows, God, he knows what he’s done, but he couldn’t help it. He had been so lonely with Lily spending so much time at the hospital, and then there she was with her caring and understanding nature. With her adorable laughs and those touches that were so addictive, a mercurial high that gave him the lowest lows whenever he tried to stop.

He keeps his mouth shut; there’s nothing left to say anyway, and it’s better for her to hate him rather than anything else. “You are not going to say anything?” It’s meek, vulnerable, and she wants to slap herself for acting this way. She knew it would never last, that he would always choose her.

He was never hers to lose, so why is she still fighting?

She nods her head in surrender, biting her lip to stop herself from sobbing. The anger now gave way to sadness, “I can’t believe I let you make a fool of me.” Her voice is hoarse, a result of the lump in her throat that prevents her from swallowing comfortably.

She gets out of the car and slams the door shut, then leaves the parking lot, leaving him behind. She keeps walking, fingers gripping the straps of her bag until she reaches an empty street.

The golden sun is ready to dip on the horizon, and she can hear James’s car speeding behind her.

—

She doesn’t let the tears fall until she’s inside her apartment.

The moment she closed the door, she crumbled to her knees, loud sobs falling from her mouth and fat tears rolling down her cheeks. It takes her a moment to gather enough strength to walk to her room.

She cries and cries, buries her face in her pillows and starts sobbing even harder because she can smell him. The salty scent and citrus shampoo finally embedded themselves in the fabric, and she can’t believe that after all those days she craved to feel him close to her, he chooses now to leave a trace behind.

She cries for hours until her eyes are puffy and red, and snot comes out of her nose. Her chest heaves with short breaths that don’t really fill her lungs as she clings to that damn pillow before throwing it across the room. She can’t believe it ended like this: with her completely broken for anyone else while James gets to go back to his life and act like nothing ever happened.

Yet she knows that if she had to choose, she would do it all over again because if she had to choose someone to be her ruination, she would choose James Potter a million times.

TAGLIST: @emmaev @gxtitobxby @ildm4ev @capsmischief @arisblackhole @dracosafety @dracoxgeorge @tonystarksmutgarden @blowing-mikey @roonilwazlibswhore @lovelylupinx @sarcasmismyon1ydefence @marxy-06 @glossiable @remusjlupinisdead @amixedwitch @mattefic @artisancowbells @zzzfour — if you want to be added tap here

[omggiogiothings]

Summer

Sorry it's like, 3 years late. But this was requested from @genderbenduniverse which is Fem Robin and Bruce in the pool. After writing this I realize it was actually a Fem Bruce so I'm sorry, I'll see if I can do something for fem Bruce next time. For now, this ties in with my last post here. Thanks!

and thanks to @theladieauthor who wrote changing tim's name. I couldn't come up with good names for them soo,,, Tiffany ended up being a good idea.

---

The funny thing was, Bruce followed Dixie on instagram. Every blue moon he would open the app (squinty eyed, in a way that Tif said made him look like a meme) and see her photos. They were usually promoting some sort of charity or something of her on a new trip. She was active on it, as much as she could be and it helped keep her secret identity.

Of course, he hadn't been happy when she first got it at the age of 16. He didn't want his underage daughter going around posting photos of herself where any creep can see it. But it had helped solidify her identity and she was at that age where she could tell him to take his concern and stick it where the sun didn't shine.

She also posted a lot of athletic videos and was always careful of things she couldn't post in case it got back to her alter ego. She was responsible.

But he still hated it.

(Janna had a page but it wasn't for her civilian identity. Bruce had thought about following it but the PR nightmare of following the Red Hood would be terrible. It didn't stop the Red Hood from leaving passive aggressive comments on Bruce Wayne's meger photos.

Bruce liked every single one because he knew Janna loathed it.)

So when he went outside to find Tif and ask about the latest meeting notes for a meeting he had in like, 15 minutes, he was not happy to find Dixie by the pool, Tif crouched to the side with a camera.

He didn't like the two piece bikini she wore that took him back to discowing days and the way it barely covered any parts of her body

"Hi B." She greeted, holding a beach ball over her head and striking a pose. "What's up?"

Tif looks up after getting a shot. "Is it the meeting? Want me to prep with you?"

Bruce is actually caught off guard. He has two papers in his hands and a lot of things trying to come out of his mouth and he knows if he says anything it would be a jumbled confusing mess.

He's torn between demanding an answer, reprimanding his 26 year old daughter for doing what she is technically allowed to do with her body, and just walking back inside and pretending he didn't see anything.

"Absolutely not." Comes out, sounding strangled enough that both girls look startled. Without even considering it, he is dropping the papers and shrugging out of his jacket. Alfred raised him as a gentleman after all. "You are not taking pictures to post in that."

"Oh my god, B." Dixie says, blue eyes wide in astonishment. "You are not giving me your jacket."

He holds it out as Dixie stares, miffed. Bruce knows without a doubt that if Dixie was a few years younger she'd have flipped him off and scoffed. Now, she almost seemed amused, which he was glad for. Dixie's anger was still legendary, but she knew how to pick her battles and how to speak her mind in a way that truly hurt and wasn't just covered with teenage hormones.

He hopes his look reads he wasn't budging on this. There is a cold second where Dixie stares (again, choosing her battles) and he thinks she is going to refuse and make a point.

But her lips quirk and she takes it, dropping the beach ball to her feet and shuffling it on.

She is swimming in the jacket, looking at the long sleeves with a calculated look in her eyes. It reminds him of the time she was twelve, leaving a school dance and had shivered until he gave her his jacket. They had gone out for ice cream afterwards while she griped about girls being mean and so classist. It had been one of his suit jackets because in those years Alfred was heavy on his business suits. He remembers when he got it back and found crumpled flowers in the pockets and a nickel that confused him because he had given her his credit card not hard cash.

"I don't care what you do." He says, needing to iterate this and not just leave their conversation as a mess. "But not this."

Tif has been silent, looking at everything with raised eyebrows. He knows Tif's also received his jacket before. Actually, all of them have.

Dixie grins, a grin that instantly puts him on edge because she shoots forward and links their arms together. Dixie has always been affectionate, a contrast to Janna, Tif, and Danielle. While she hadn't initiated a lot of touch between them lately, she always passed touches and gentle nudges when she thought necessary.

Tif takes the photo as Dixie jerks him towards the camera unprepared. He hates photos, always has but Dixie laughs, bright and cheerful in a way he misses. It's been awhile since he heard her laugh that way.

He is still blinded by the laugh that when Dixie takes one more step he is biting at a curse at the rush of gravity as she drags him into the pool with an iron grip around his arm.

Later, when he sees the photos she'd posted he still hates the small two piece suit she's wearing but her caption has him tagged. He finds himself taking the file from Tif's laptop and saving it as it becomes one of his favorites.

-

@ Dixie_G Photo set: The first photo is Dixie in a two piece bikini, a beach ball under her arm and with a sunhat on. She is winking to the camera, hair loose and wild while she is kneeled on a towel, the beginnings of the pool can be seen behind her.

The second photo is of Dixie and Bruce, their arms linked and a suit jacket that obviously belongs to Bruce on her that covers most of her body. She is grinning while Bruce wears a scowl, seemingly not expecting the photos.

The third photo is Dixie in the water of the pool, hair wet and head thrown back in laughter. The jacket she wears is soaked and sticking plastered to her. Bruce is on the other side, soaked and giving her a firm look but there is a crook to his lips that gives away his amusement.

Caption:

@ Dixie_G : Ready for Gotham’s summer this year with a friend’s newest bikini set! Check it out in the link in my bio! Pictures taken by Tiffany Drake-Wayne @ Its_Tiff_D It might not meet Bruce’s dad stamp of approval, but all the proceeds go to a good cause! Check it out!

[richincolor]

New Releases for the Week of May 3, 2021

It's great to see so many new books hitting the shelves this week. I know I've been waiting for several of these and am happy to be able to finally read them. 

The Ones We’re Meant to Find by Joan He Roaring Brook

Cee has been trapped on an abandoned island for three years without any recollection of how she arrived, or memories from her life prior. All she knows is that somewhere out there, beyond the horizon, she has a sister named Kay. Determined to find her, Cee devotes her days to building a boat from junk parts scavenged inland, doing everything in her power to survive until the day she gets off the island and reunites with her sister.

In a world apart, 16-year-old STEM prodigy Kasey Mizuhara is also living a life of isolation. The eco-city she calls home is one of eight levitating around the world, built for people who protected the planet―and now need protecting from it. With natural disasters on the rise due to climate change, eco-cities provide clean air, water, and shelter. Their residents, in exchange, must spend at least a third of their time in stasis pods, conducting business virtually whenever possible to reduce their environmental footprint. While Kasey, an introvert and loner, doesn’t mind the lifestyle, her sister Celia hated it. Popular and lovable, Celia much preferred the outside world. But no one could have predicted that Celia would take a boat out to sea, never to return.

Now it’s been three months since Celia’s disappearance, and Kasey has given up hope. Logic says that her sister must be dead. But as the public decries her stance, she starts to second guess herself and decides to retrace Celia’s last steps. Where they’ll lead her, she does not know. Her sister was full of secrets. But Kasey has a secret of her own. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee Quill Tree Books

Noah Ramirez thinks he’s an expert on romance. He has to be for his popular blog, the Meet Cute Diary, a collection of trans happily ever afters. There’s just one problem—all the stories are fake. What started as the fantasies of a trans boy afraid to step out of the closet has grown into a beacon of hope for trans readers across the globe.

When a troll exposes the blog as fiction, Noah’s world unravels. The only way to save the Diary is to convince everyone that the stories are true, but he doesn’t have any proof. Then Drew walks into Noah’s life, and the pieces fall into place: Drew is willing to fake-date Noah to save the Diary. But when Noah’s feelings grow beyond their staged romance, he realizes that dating in real life isn’t quite the same as finding love on the page.

In this charming novel by Emery Lee, Noah will have to choose between following his own rules for love or discovering that the most romantic endings are the ones that go off script. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

They Better Call Me Sugar: My Journey from the Hood to the Hardwood by Sugar Rodgers Black Sheep

Growing up in dire poverty in Suffolk, Virginia, Sugar (born Ta’Shauna) Rodgers never imagined that she would become an all-star player in the WNBA (Women’s National Basketball Association). Both of her siblings were in and out of prison throughout much of her childhood and shootings in her neighborhood were commonplace. For Sugar this was just a fact of life.

While academics wasn’t a high priority for Sugar and many of her friends, athletics always played a prominent role. She mastered her three-point shot on a net her brother put up just outside their home, eventually becoming so good that she could hustle local drug dealers out of money in one-on-one contests.

With the love and support of her family and friends, Sugar’s performance on her high school basketball team led to her recruitment by the Georgetown Hoyas, and her eventual draft into the WNBA in 2013 by the Minnesota Lynx (who won the WNBA Finals in Sugar’s first year). The first of her family to attend college, Sugar speaks of her struggles both academically and as an athlete with raw honesty.

Sugar’s road to a successful career as a professional basketball player is fraught with sadness and death–including her mother’s death when she’s fourteen, which leaves Sugar essentially homeless. Throughout it all, Sugar clings to basketball as a way to keep herself focused and sane.

And now Sugar shares her story as a message of hope and inspiration for young girls and boys everywhere, but especially those growing up in economically challenging conditions. Never sugarcoating her life experiences, she delivers a powerful message of discipline, perseverance, and always believing in oneself. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry by Joya Goffney HarperTeen

Quinn keeps lists of everything—from the days she’s ugly cried, to “Things That I Would Never Admit Out Loud,” to all the boys she’d like to kiss. Her lists keep her sane. By writing her fears on paper, she never has to face them in real life. That is, until her journal goes missing…

An anonymous account posts one of her lists on Instagram for the whole school to see and blackmails her into facing seven of her greatest fears, or else her entire journal will go public. Quinn doesn’t know who to trust. Desperate, she teams up with Carter Bennett—the last known person to have her journal—in a race against time to track down the blackmailer.

Together, they journey through everything Quinn’s been too afraid to face, and along the way, Quinn finds the courage to be honest, to live in the moment, and to fall in love. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Hurricane Summer by Asha Bromfield Wednesday Books

Tilla has spent her entire life trying to make her father love her. But every six months, he leaves their family and returns to his true home: the island of Jamaica.

When Tilla’s mother tells her she’ll be spending the summer on the island, Tilla dreads the idea of seeing him again, but longs to discover what life in Jamaica has always held for him.

In an unexpected turn of events, Tilla is forced to face the storm that unravels in her own life as she learns about the dark secrets that lie beyond the veil of paradise—all in the midst of an impending hurricane.

Hurricane Summer is a powerful coming of age story that deals with colorism, classism, young love, the father-daughter dynamic—and what it means to discover your own voice in the center of complete destruction. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Indivisible by Daniel Aleman Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

There is a word Mateo Garcia and his younger sister Sophie have been taught to fear for as long as they can remember: deportation. Over the past few years, however, the fear that their undocumented immigrant parents could be sent back to Mexico has started to fade to the back of their minds. And why wouldn’t it, when their Ma and Pa have been in the United States for so long, they have American-born children, and they’re hard workers and good neighbors?

When two ICE agents come asking for Pa, the Garcia family realizes that the lives they’ve built are about to come crumbling down. And when Mateo returns from school one day to find that his parents have been taken, he’ll have to come to terms with the fact that his family’s worst nightmare has become a reality.

With his Ma and Pa being held in separate detention centers, Mateo must learn how to look after his sister and himself. The choices Mateo makes, and the people he turns to for help, might reunite his family… or tear them apart for good. With his parents’ fate and his own future hanging in the balance, Mateo must figure out who he is and what he is capable of, even as he’s forced to question what it means to be an American teenager in a country that rejects his own mom and dad. — Cover art and summary via Goodreads

Counting Down with You by Tashie Bhuiyan Inkyard Press

Karina Ahmed has a plan. Keep her head down, get through high school without a fuss, and follow her parents’ rules—even if it means sacrificing her dreams. When her parents go abroad to Bangladesh for four weeks, Karina expects some peace and quiet. Instead, one simple lie unravels everything.

Karina is my girlfriend.

Tutoring the school’s resident bad boy was already crossing a line. Pretending to date him? Out of the question. But Ace Clyde does everything right—he brings her coffee in the mornings, impresses her friends without trying, and even promises to buy her a dozen books (a week) if she goes along with his fake-dating facade. Though Karina agrees, she can’t help but start counting down the days until her parents come back.

T-minus twenty-eight days until everything returns to normal—but what if Karina no longer wants it to? — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

All Kinds of Other by James Sie Quill Tree Books

In this tender, nuanced coming-of-age love story, two boys—one who is cis and one who is trans—have been guarding their hearts to protect themselves, until their feelings for each other give them a reason to stand up to their fears.

Two boys are starting at a new school.

Jules is just figuring out what it means to be gay and hasn’t totally decided whether he wants to be out at his new school. His parents and friends have all kinds of opinions, but for his part, Jules just wants to make the basketball team and keep his head down.

Jack is trying to start over after a best friend break-up. He followed his actor father clear across the country to LA, but he’s also totally ready to leave his past behind. Maybe this new school where no one knows him is exactly what he needs.

When the two boys meet, the sparks are undeniable. But then a video surfaces linking Jack to a pair of popular transgender vloggers, and the revelations about Jack’s past thrust both Jack and Jules into the spotlight they’ve been trying to avoid. Suddenly both boys have a choice to make—between lying low where it’s easier or following their hearts. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Luck of the Titanic by Stacey Lee G.P. Putnam's Sons Books for Young Readers

Southampton, 1912: Seventeen-year-old British-Chinese Valora Luck has quit her job and smuggled herself aboard the Titanic with two goals in mind: to reunite with her twin brother Jamie--her only family now that both their parents are dead--and to convince a part-owner of the Ringling Brothers Circus to take the twins on as acrobats. Quick-thinking Val talks her way into opulent firstclass accommodations and finds Jamie with a group of fellow Chinese laborers in third class. But in the rigidly stratified world of the luxury liner, Val's ruse can only last so long, and after two long years apart, it's unclear if Jamie even wants the life Val proposes. Then, one moonless night in the North Atlantic, the unthinkable happens--the supposedly unsinkable ship is dealt a fatal blow--and Val and her companions suddenly find themselves in a race to survive.

Stacey Lee, master of historical fiction, brings a fresh perspective to an infamous tragedy, loosely inspired by the recently uncovered account of six Titanic survivors of Chinese descent.

[the-beetle-and-the-shadow-offi]

Season one: Episode one: The Castlemaster

Felicity breathed in deep as she hit the sand, inhaling the salt breeze. It was nice to get away from her hectic family, even if she temporarily had traded them for a busy beach.

She set down her beach bag and stretched. She wasn't far away from Granveston Main Street, and with thirty bucks and four hours, Felicity was ready to enjoy her day.

Screaming interrupted her dash for the waves, and she slipped to a stop, ankle deep in the waters. At first, all she noticed was that people were screaming and running. Then she noticed the growing mound of sand behind them.

Felicity started to back away, thinking that she needed to get out of the area and help some other people, when the most horrifying thing about the sand monster revealed itself.

The monster, who was shaped like a young girl on a moving sand throne, raised a fist and launched a beam of sand at a running passerby, turning them into a sand sculpture. They were then washed away by the ocean.

Felicity took off running, her water shoes digging into the sand. She left the waterfront and rounded a corner, where she found a group of cowering people huddled in front of a building.

"Why don't you go inside?" She asked, out of breath and confused.

Someone pointed to the door. "It's abandoned, and locked."

Felicity walked over and checked the lock, then checked around. "I don't normally do this, but everyone stand back."

Felicity took a step back, then kicked the locked knob off the door with a jump. She rubbed the back of her heel as the group of people filtered inside.

"Well, that was an impressive use of destruction," a raspy voice said from behind her.

Felicity spun around, panicking. When she didn't see anything right away, she looked around in confusion.

"Come to the alley, slow poke!" The voice called.

Felicity hesitated. Then she proceeded with caution.

She wasn't expecting a floating cat holding a ring to be the one who'd been calling her.

<On the other side of the beach>

Diego Hart was not having a good day. First, his dad woke him up early on the last Saturday of the summer. Then, he was dragged out to the beach, where it was hot, scratchy, and all people did was scream and splash.

And then there was this monster thing.

That was unexpected, but also very inconvenient.

Or was it?

Diego had broken away from his family, equal parts intentionally and accidentally. He hadn't meant to separate, but when you get a chance to get away, well, he wasn't one to say no to fate.

Which put him here. Face to face with a large pinkish... bug? It was flying, so he guessed that was right, though he didn't see any wings.

"Hello, Chosen! I am Tikki, and I will be your Kwami and companion through this next stage of your life!"

"You're helping me get through my last two years of high school?" Diego asked, bewildered. "And what's with this 'Chosen' stuff? Being the chosen one never ends too well in books and movies."

The creature—the kwami—Tikki—blinked. "I chose you to wield my miraculous! The Miraculous of the Ladybug, of creation and healing!"

Diego scrunched his nose. "That sounds like a girl's power."

Tikki crossed her arms(fins???) and pouted. "There have been many male wielders of the Ladybug miraculous. You would be following a legacy, rich with creation and life, and it is not a 'girl's power'."

Diego shrugged. "Can I have an explanation for what exactly all this is?"

Tikki quickly explained the situation, the Miraculous, and his powers. She also told him he may have a partner.

"If Plagg found a suitable one, that is. The Black cat is a tricky one to hand out, and since we can't trust our Guardian.... Well, Plagg is in for some searching." Tikki turned back to him. "I was lucky to find you so quickly! Your use of the beach umbrella was very clever! I knew you were the one at that moment."

Diego felt his face heat up as he recalled the moment the kwami was speaking of. The monster, Castle Crasher, had almost caught up to him, so he had pulled a big beach umbrella out of the sand and used it as a shield. It wasn't something especially creative, but it had just made sense.

"That was just a use of resources," Diego attempted, but Tikki waved him off.

"We can't waste anymore time! Say 'spots on'!"

<With Felicity>

"Claws out?"

With a yelp and a flash of green light, Felicity was transformed into a black cat superheroine. As she examined her new look, she found that her hood covered all her hair, her mask covered all her recognizable features, and she could feel that she was more athletic than she already was.

"Wow," she breathed. A distant crashing brought her back to earth, and she slid her baton out from it's place on her thigh. Guided by a deep instinct, she swiped her thumb across the surface, and it opened like a slide phone.

Another swipe, and it closed. Her fingers found a button, and pushed it. She let out a yelp as it extended and speedily carried her upwards.

"S-stop!" she cried. The baton-staff thing stopped at her cry. She clung to the pole, trying to catch her breath, half wondering how the staff was balancing on it’s tiny surface.

The ground shook, and the staff fell forward. It hit a roof, and Felicity managed to roll forward on impact and get to her feet instantly.

“Woah.”

<Diego>

Diego skeptically examined the dark red magic fabric that now covered his arms.

“I guess it’s plenty tough,” he muttered. Then he pulled out his… weapon. “A yoyo…. I’ve never even touched one of these before… How does it work?”

He tentatively dropped the yoyo down and swung it back and forth a bit. As he got more comfortable with it, it felt more and more natural, and he executed more and more complicated maneuvers with the yoyo.

At the height of the activity, he threw the yoyo forward. When it wrapped around a building ornament and pulled him forward, he was jerked out of his reverie, and he realized just how absurd his situation was.

<Felicity>

Felicity looked up from trying to track down the villain to see a red and black speck in the sky. She narrowed her eyes to see it was getting bigger. It was only when she heard a voice yelling “I’ve been kidnapped by a yoyo!” did she think maybe she should move.

She came to her conclusion too late, unfortunately, and before she could make a move, she was crushed under a warm, red and black weight.

“AGH!”

She pushed against the weight, unable to get a good look thanks to her hood. “Is this some part of the akuma’s powers? Because it’s dumb. Stupid sky debris.”

“I’m not dumb!”

Felicity’s eyes widened at the sound of a fellow teenager. A male one, specifically. With a burst of strength she hadn’t possessed before, she kicked him off and jumped to her feet.

<Diego>

Diego clutched his stomach, reeling from not just one, but two sudden impacts in thirty seconds. He finally peeled apart his eyes to see the cause of the second impact, or rather, who had so forcefully kicked him off.

He got it, it was rude to lay on top of people, but he hadn’t meant to!

He looked her over. On the small end of the average spectrum, or the large side of the petite spectrum, wearing a black suit with a hood over her head, white, and very angry. Or scared. He wasn’t sure which.

“Is there a word for someone both angry and scared?” he wondered, only realizing too late that he’d said it out loud. “I mean--! Uh…. You must be the Black Cat! Tikki told me about… your kwami, I guess. Are we allowed to talk about the kwamis?”

The cat let her guard down, just a little bit. “Plagg didn’t say anything about it. He didn’t tell me about another wielder, though. Who are you?”

He mentally stopped in his tracks.

Don’t say Diego, don’t say Diego, don’t say Diego!

“I’d prefer to go by Escarabajo, if that’s okay.”

“Ah, I figured you were Latino.”

Diego pouted. “I thought I masked it well….”

The cat looked at him. “It’s… a work in progress, Escarabajo.” She turned as a rumble went through the building. “Focus on the akuma, we’ll talk later.”

She took off on her staff, and Diego—no, Escarabajo—followed.

<Felicity>

As long as no one asks me for a name, I’ll be perfect. If I’m given one, that’s different, but I won’t pick one for myself.

She stopped on top of a street lamp, marveling at the ease that she now balanced with. She scanned the streets, pointing out the street that had many sand figures.

“That’s where we need to go, Escarabajo.” She said, turning to see him hanging upside down, looking rather surprised by his new predicament.

He looked at her, his eyes wide. “I could be Spider-man….”

Felicity harrumphed and crossed her arms. “I’m no Mary Jane.”

<Diego>

In his haste to explain as quickly as possible that that wasn’t what he meant when he said that, he’d let go of the yoyo, and fell. Luckily he managed to land on his feet.

“Ow...” When he looked up again, the cat was offering a hand up, though she looked rather exasperated.

“Come on, you can play around later. Let’s deal with the sand castle monster.”

Escarabajo stood up and followed after her.

Following the sound of screaming and a trail of sandy figures, Escarabajo and the feline girl beside him soon caught up to the monster. The girl looked to him, and it slowly dawned on him that she was looking for him to direct her. He hastily thought out a plan and whispered it out to her.

“Can you sneak up on the monster? Tikki says there should be an object that, essentially, controls them and their powers. If we destroy it and capture the nasty butterfly--” Here he made a vague questioning noise before continuing “--We should be able to stop it. I’ll have to purify it. Haven’t quite figured out how.”

The Cat looked at him, her eyes narrowed. “Well, read your manual then. I’m gonna go find the object. I’d bet my tail it’s either the bucket or the shovel.” She leaped away, and Escarabajo nodded absently.

In light of her words, he took the yoyo off his belt, and thumbed it open. As if Tikki had overheard, which she probably had, the user’s manual was highlighted. As he skimmed over the most pertinent sections, he kept an eye on the Cat.

<Felicity>

Felicity snuck up on the villain just fine. She had quietly jumped from one building to the next, to a streetlamp, to the ground, all without any real noise.

The catch was when, despite her best efforts, she disturbed the very edge of the sand. And that alerted the akuma to her presence.

As the akuma stilled, Felicity attempted something she’d never done before but had full confidence she could pull off in the suit. She did a back flip on to a small billboard, and jumped behind it. She held her breath as the villain rumbled closer and closer. The villain missed her by a hair, and continued on it’s rampage.

Felicity kicked into gear. Plagg had said that because of her age, she could use her special power three times, and she knew exactly what to use it on.

She ran parallel to the villain before leaping forward. “Cataclysm!”

She broke the chains holding up a large sign, causing it to fall down and cut off the path the villain was taking. She repeated the process two more times, then dove out of the way, waiting for Escarabajo to do his thing.

She peeked up, and spotted the shovel and pail. She risked glancing behind the villain, and saw Escarabajo coming up behind. She crouched down farther, waiting for the right time.

<Diego>

Escarabajo had watched the Cat’s movements with awe. She was so fluid and confident looking. He noticed, of course, the tenseness she held whenever she was a misstep from being turned to a sand pile, but the grace with which she threaded around the villain was astounding.

Then Diego reminded himself that he was graceful, too. One of the most graceful in his gymnastics class.

“Yeah, it’s just another gym class,” he muttered before jumping into action.

He swung on his yoyo, catching up to the Cat. He saw her trap the villain on three sides, then dive for cover. He threw his yoyo in the air as he got closer, yelling, “Lucky Charm!”

He grabbed the tiny box out of midair and kept running. He glanced around the area, and spotted a few items he thought he could use. He quickly grabbed a red can and a fallen branch with his yoyo. He slipped behind an advertising sign, and took a moment to look at the box in his hand, just to double check.

Yep. Matches.

He poured the liquid over the stick in his hand, and threw both the stick and the box over to where the Cat was, keeping a few matches for himself. He hoisted the can up, then swung forward. As he swung behind the villain, he poured the liquid out of the can, creating a line of gasoline behind the villain.

Then he struck and dropped the matches he was holding.

<Felicity>

Felicity felt the air heat up, and knew she only had a short window. She struck the match, lit the branch, and jumped out of hiding. She swung the branch like a sword, cutting off the sand holding the shovel and pail.

She threw the pail to Escarabajo, and stomped on the shovel. Escarabajo threw his yoyo through the bucket, bursting straight through the bottom before pulling back.

Then he opened up his yoyo, and swung it at the black butterfly that left the broken bucket. The yoyo closed automatically over the insect, and Escarabjo brought it back to him.

He gently pushed the center dot on the yoyo.

<Diego> He watched the butterfly fly out, purified to a bright white. He speaks without even thinking.

“Bye, bye, little butterfly.”

Then he takes the empty matchbox that the Cat offers him, and throws it up into the air, yelling out the curing spell.

As magic ladybugs zip through the city, the Cat heroine walks up beside him, attentive and curious.

“So that’s how we avoid legal trouble. Nice.”

Escarabajo had to take that in, then he glanced at her. “I guess. It’s pretty and convenient.”

She snorted. “Well, was pretty decent working with you. See you around.” She made to leave, but Escarabajo shouted after her.

“Wait! What’s your name?”

She shrugged. “What do you want it to be?”

At his stunned expression, she turned around and leapt away.

Hearing the beeping coming from the studs attached to his wrists, Escarabajo followed her example, swinging up and running across rooftops before people came out to investigate. He made it to the beach and ducked behind the portable toilets before being blinded by pink light, and returning to his normal self.

Tikki flew out of the studs and into his hands. “You did a good job,” she whispered to him. “Now, I need someplace to hide.”

Diego offered her his beach bag.

Tikki hidden, and his Miraculous secured safely on a lanyard, Diego quickly returned to his family.

<Felicity>

Felicity whispered “Claws in” not too far from where she’d cried “Claws out”. Despite not being tired at all, she decided to go home. After all, she could only be gone for so long after something like that before her parents found out and flipped.

Plus she had to get ready for school on Monday, and that was gonna be a pain.

<Chapter Fin>

[popculturebuffet]

Star Vs: Stump Day Review or The Why Are You Booing Tom He’s Right Holiday Special

Before we start a special credit to @jess-the-vampire​ who I discussed the episode with during the writing process and brought up a LOT of good points that ended up going into this review. She clearly hates it as much as I do and had even more good reasons for it.  Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everybody! And today we got a big, fat, grotesque lump of coal to smash to pieces. And after a long, draining, if worth the effort scrooge review, and with this being something I needed to cross off my to do list this holiday season, I put this one here as I could use the cathariss of giving this steaming bowl of elephant piss a good thrashing. As you can tell unlike my usual reviews, I do not like this episode. This isn’t the FIRST i’ve not liked i’ve covered, but it is the first rather infamous one to me i’ve covered and not just a dead possum of an episode I ran into while reguarly covering an otherwise good show like “Quaraller’s Pass” or “Strife of the Party”. This one’s had it coming, making my top 8 worst christmas specials list last year, and while not the series worst outing, that’s a toss up between the finale and marco jr, it’s easily one of them. So while usually I like diving deeply into something good and picking apart while it’s good, if not ignoring any bad aspects, here i’m just going to take a hammer to this thing to explain why it dosen’t work and why it sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms. I might be overstating it a bit but probably not.  Nothing really new has happened since the last episode so the only new thing to cover is why i’m doing the episode here instead of after Monster Bash. And the simple reason is that like the Ducktales Halloween and Christmas specials, this episode clearly does not take place in the same time frame of the episode before or after it, with the next episode, The Bog Beast of Bogabah, taking place the day after Monster Bash. It’s most likely they simply held this episode over till Christmas and it dosen’t really fit in AFTER the huge game changer that is monster bash, especailly since the next three episodes after this all take place in rapid sucession, two on the same day one the day after them. So yeah i’m doing this one first and putting it ahead of monster bash on my episode guide for clarity’s sake. 

Good, so with all that settled, let’s unwrap this complete works of pauly shore shall we? We open on the titular Stump Day, essentially mewni’s christmas complete with Cocoa, carols and a gay couple and their equally adorable child. And Star, unsuprisingly is giddy for it as the actual chlidren, and wearing an adorable santaesque dress complete with horns on her santa hat. Seriously you cannot tell me tom didn’t get that for her. Fucking precious. Marco is more just confused and has his hood up and one of Star’s cousins asks uncle river to tell him the origin of stump day. River’s response.. is easily the best joke of the episode. 

“(in a jolly tone) ha ha, you don’t tell me what to do”

He does so anyway though: Basically when settlers arrived on Mewni they found themselves cold and griping with each other, and soon found a blizzard had struck.. but by huddling together under a magic stump, they all learned to get along or something like that and now once a year everyone gathers in warmth and camraderie.. or else. Before Marco can understandably question what “or else” means in this context, Star butts in when one of her cousins chastises the younger one who asked river the question for beliviing and says he’s real. It’s a nice touch as it fits star perfectly to still belivie in mewni’s horrifying version of santa. I forgot just how adorable and likeable the character was before the final season shot that to hell. How her energy could be infectious and how Eden Sher really brought her all to the performance, which is still the performance of her career and hopefully like Rider Strong she’ll do more voice acting eventually.  So that night as Star tucks in after wonderful  night of sleep, and to avoid her dad’s usual drunken chorus of Tom Jones “Sex Bomb”, and gets woken up by Marco who leads her to the dining hall because a windows broken to fix it with magic. Star entirely buys this flimsy story.. but as Jess pointed out, and as I missed hence the credit up top... she dosen’t bring her wand. She.. dosen’t bring her wand.. to go fix something with magic. Now i’ll grant next season shows she CAN fully do magic without it, and while not as powerful like her mom still has plenty of punch behind it.. especially when she does the rainbow fist thing. But it’s still.. weird she dosen’t think to grab it and feels out of character. While Star’s learned by this point not to rely on it, and as we’ll see gives it up entirely, one of the few bits of her character development that actually sticks, it still seems resonable she’d take it with her wherever she goes.. and usually SHE DOES. And her jammies, which are also adorable, seem to have pockets so the animators had no reason to not just stuff it in one. It would’ve made their job harder yes.. but then don’t have marco use an excuse that directly requires it then and draws attention to the fact the wand is missing, and the fact you blatantly just hoped we’d forget about it as it’d ruin the climax. 

It’s far from the worst thing in this episode..trust me we’re almost there. But this does bring me to a point.. so far the episode is GOOD. The comedy’s good, the setup for what’s about to happen is good, the holdiay setting is warm and inviting but weird enough to perfectly fit mewni, and River, much like his VA and homosexual talking boat portrayer Alan Tudyuk, is a national treasure as always. Whelp it’s all down hill from here bitches! Giddyup. 

So Marco announces a SUPRISE PARTY! And everyone’s there: Tom, Kelly, Ponyhead, Starfan14... oh yeah this is the first ep i’ve coverd with Starfan14 isn’t it? Starfan14 is star’s insane fangirl, voiced by series creator Derfron Nercy herself, who star happily tolerates despite clearly wanting to wear her skin. We’ve all been there. Also Jackie is transparently missing, though at least it’s SOMEWHAT reasonable as she and marco broke up a few .. months ago? I mean it is winter on mewni for this episode but the end of season 4 and the series is set at the start of summer, yet months still pass..... 

Confusing timeline aside, Jackie has every reason not to attend a party thrown by her ex for the girl who confesed she had feelings for said ex and it’s probably the only good decision Marco makes this entire episode that he wisely decided to give Jackie some space. And it says something a decision made entirely off screen that was probably because the creators genuinely forgot Jackie once she was out of the way so they could shift the love triangle stuff to Tom, Star and Marco instead of you know.. not doing that because most love triangles are annoying at best and utterly insufferable at worst. Case in point this episode but I can give out more about this aspect of things in a bit with more context. 

And to his credit, and as Jess backed me up on, Marco’s gesture is genuinely throughtful.. at least to start with. He got her a choclate fountain, brought all of her friends, and geninely just thought Star never celebrated her birthday on her birthday because it was you know the same day as christmas. As someone whose birthday is a week before christmas, December 16th if you were curious, I understand the pain of having your birthday in the same month as christmas. Of having all your presents clustered at once and of having to manuver around a very stressful season, though it does sometimes have perks like getting to celebrate your birthday and christmas, it also means your birthday is secondary and always will be to most people due to proximity. And Star has hers ON mewman christmas, so it’s even worse. So from Marco’s perspective, TO START, his best friend constantly had to share her birthday with her faviorite holiday and just wanted to do something nice. SO FAR, he’s done nothing wrong and just means well. That’s... about to end.  Star.. instead of being greatful.. starts muttering no before going on an manic rampage and destroying everything including hte band’s insturments. And apparnetly star’s gotten some flack for her behavior.. but I understand it. To her the stump is VERY real, and will be very angry if someone else celebrates so to her all she’s doing is saving her best friend from the holiday equilvent of the trees from evil dead, and when Marco asks about it she GENUINELY is sorry, getting he meant well, that he was being sweet, and that he did a lot of nice stuff for her.. she just can’t celebrate not because she loves the holiday but because again, from her persepctive, the stump will kill them all if they don’t support it. She is genuinly affraid for her friends lives and given she could go grab her wand and fight it, clearly thinks she, with all her CONSIDERABLE powers, cannot win this, and neither can tom whose powers are almost entirely fire based. Star is just trying to protect her friends from being horribly murdered. And she turns out to be entirely right about it so no, star was not a jerk here. A bit over the top, but she was not insensitive, she was not mean, she just didn’t want a party for understandable reasons.

So let’s get to actually insensitive shall we?! Marco’s reaction to this is at first confusion as he didn’t realize the stump was real, though Tom, Kelly and Pony are convinced it’s not. Also this episode implies Kelly is from mewni, but she turns out not to be so why she knows about the stump I genuinely don’t know. They think it’s just a baby thing.. though in Tom’s defense he dosen’t phrase it that way, thinks star still beliving is cute, which for a teenage boy finding out his girlfriend belivies in santa is very sweet and mature of him, and is trying to be nice about it even if he doesn’t believe.  But Marco.. his response to his friend having a good reason for not wanting to have the party.. is to complain about how much effort he put into it and try to guilt and bribe her into having it by mentoining he got her faviorite cake flavor, rainbow. Just.. WOW. I’ve seen some bad turns from characters, but WOWWWWWW. Holy shit.. I mean at least other jerkass marco episodes before this had SOME reasoning to them. Sophmore Slump had him clearly sublimating his feelings for star combined with the usual obnoxiousness of someone having gone abroard for the first time, which as Letterkenny recently went into, the only thing worse is Stillborn Puppies. Nothing else. 

And with Lint Catcher while he was presumptive and not blameless.. river still outright lied to him. Here? It’s clear star dosen’t want this, cake can be refigirated, he only takes a loss on the choclate fountain and he could still just let everyone have some and say it’s for stump day to appease her. He dosen’t have to take a loss on this finacially or morally and there would be no harm done. But that’s.. not what HE wanted, not waht HE set up and he wants what HE wanted, which was to impress star with a thoughtful gesture. But that’s the thing bud: Gestures aren’t about you or what you get. Their about doint something nice for another fucking person. It’s the whole point of christmas and birthdays: To just give someone something to be ncie and to celebrate the day and them respectively. If she dosen’t WANT your gift for understandable reasons and isn’t being rude about it you don’t have any leg to stand on you seflish twatwaffle. 

So already Marco is not coming off well.. and if you know this episode you know it gets worse. Oh god it gets worse. So first PONYHEAD of all people calls out Marco.. and for once, PONYHEAD, the most selfish, most unresonable and a character whose tolerablity varies on the episode, tells him he’s being selfish and is only pressing on because of his need to control things. So not only is Ponyhead right but the episode LIKELY wants you to feel she’s wrong because she’s pony which is not how this work as she knows star well and thus, while unaware she still belivied in the stump, which tracks as while it’s obvious she does Pony is so up her own whatever she has that functions as an ass, it’s understandable she’d miss some details. So no Pony’s right, and the fact PONY is one of the more resonable people in this episode is both a sign of the apocalypse, which is thankfully starting to recede, and a clear marker of just how bad Marco’s being if someone who torments him and disagrees with him out of principal is entirely right. 

Oh but it gets worse as next up, Tom steps in and tries to get Marco to back out, admitting he told him this was a bad idea. Now granted Tom did mess up by not stepping in to stop this a bit.. but he A) didn’t know how much his girlfriend genuinely belivied in the stump and B) Probably assumed Marco meant well, as would I before he whined about not getting his way, and decided it was worth a try. So he’s not that bad, and while it is a bit ehhh to try and take back credit for this when he participated, it’s still minor and Marco is still being a huge dick who refuses to help shut things down when it’s clear the party is only causing star to have a panic attack and assault some humble marachi players. He sees nothing good is coming from this and just wants what star wants. Also it paints Marco in a worse light as he was warned about this, and was so obssed with making it a suprise party because that’s how his plan went, he refused to just.. talk to her about it. Hell he could’ve just casually asked “Why do you never celebrate your birthday on your birthday”. It’s an easy question, dosen’t give the game away and allows him to gage if this is a good idea or not BEFORE baking a cake , hiring a band and getting a chocolate fountain. Instead he just went ahead with it.  And he did so.. because this ISN’T about making Star happy. This is abotu HIM making star happy. Him showing her how thoughtful, and considerate and sweet he is and how he’s always been there for her and how maybe she should be with him instead of Tom. I mean it just comes off that way.. he made it a suprise party because in his head that’s how it worked and she was super impresed and left tom that day to be with him in some elaborate fantasy. Granted the episode dosen’t say this.. but it sure as hell acccidently implies hte hell out of it by having marco act like a selfish ass who refuses to take what STAR wants into consideration, and just wants to get his fantasy back on track. What supports this to me is how he treats tom, you know one of his best friends: He, again, accuses him of forgetting.. then calls him a bad boyfriend.. a bad boyfriend for NOT wanting to force a celebration on his girlfriend she does not want, and for not forcing it on her. For you know GROWING AS A PERSON.  Beacuse here’s the pickle pumpernickle: This thing Marco’s doing? Is exactly the kind of thing a pre-character development TOM did, that was rightfully framed as bad. Being controlling, wanting things to go JUST a certain way instead of letting them flow naturally, not getting the hint star isn’t intrested, and not caring about what she wants and only what you want. Marco is doing the same thing Tom used to do. And for starters i’ts already bad because you know MARCO WAS THE ONE WHO FINALLY GOT IT THROUGH TO TOM THAT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR WAS TOXIC AND SELFISH. But apparently when it’s Marco himself doing it it’s fine. If there was ever any clear evidence Marco regressed as a character, there it is.  Him actively unelarning a lesson he taught someone else and then getting combative when that person rightly tries to call him out. Marco is just insufferable in this episode: He’s being selfish, creepy and posseive and he’s apparenlty supposed to, at least on some level BE RIGHT.  But.. we will get to that. Consider a pin put in this rant. 

So Tom overreacts, and throws some fire at marco, which is genuinely wrong and Kelly’s right to call him out, and then headlocks him asking marco to say he’s a good boyfriend. Marco screams out ‘NEVVVEEEERRRR”

I just made this, by hapinstance, while watching the video I put up there. I.. I did not think i’d get to use this so soon but my god. Just my god that’s a terrible thing to say.  So the party soon breaks down elsewhere as Kelly is mad at tom for.. understandable reasons again the guy she has a crush on was just nearly set on fire, even if i’m still on Tom’s side overall here, it’s still not right. Janna points out it’s probably because she has a crush on marco, which while acurate dosen’t mean she was wrong and Tad pops out to be upset about that. Even though you know you two are broken up and as Kelly points out he needs to move out. Pony is mad she’s not getting any attention and Starfan is mad because star’s mad. Star results to desperate measures, opening the windows to try and repeate the act of the settlers.  She didn’t however count on the Janna factor as she throws the stump in the fire, which is in chracter. What’s not, and again I give Jess full credit for this one, is that everyone just starts.. warming around the stump and not caring like a bunch of jackasses not caring about their close friend, and in tom’s case, girlfriend’s feelings. Also tom and marco apparently stopped fighting just to be this stupid. 

But naturally burning the symbolic stump is a bad idea and the real one attacks. Protip: If you live in a world of magical nonsense, maybe don’t discount the magic stump. Everyone’s captured, including moon and river, with River also being suprised and replying to Star’s annoyance at him not beliving with “Sweetie it’s a stump!”. Alan Tudyk is a god and I feel you all should acknowleddge that. But yeah everything seemsm to be bad but everyone apologizes, if not for the right things in Marco’s case, and Tom says “I’m sorry i’m a bad boyfriend!”. You .. you aren’t. You did nothing wrong. I feel like this is tom for the last agrivating 6 minutes of the episode

He did SOME THINGS wrong but he is NOT a bad boyfriend. He is throughtful, kind and while he has flaws, SO DOES STAR. He is not a bad boyfriend for not wanting to repeat past abusive actions! GAH. Let’s just get on with it. They all hold hands, they thiunk this is what made the stump go away but Star is sure it was just going to kill them, Moon and River have a thousand yard stare as they realize they both have to get repairs for this room now and do an extra big stump day next year to make sure it dosen’t come back. And Marco apologizes to star.. for not beliving her. Not for forcing this on her, not for causing all of this, not at all to tom, but for not beliving her while star FUCKING APOLOGIZES TO HIM.  Pin removed, bullshit falling to the floor... Trunks if you would. 

Thank you. Star DID NOTHING WRONG. Tom DID LESS WRONG THAN MARCO. WHY ARE THEY APOLOGIZING. Why is this little shithead getting everything he wants as the party happens after all, if a day later, and he gets to dance with star, while everyone else is painted as being in the wrong? That’s what makes this special so putrid: that MARCO is apparently in the right for doing the same , if on a smaller scale, manipulative shit tom used to do before he grew as a person, yet the episode sides with him, props him up and teases Starco. If it’s Starco it’s okay apparently and that’s.. not okay. You can’t .. build a ship on a character acting like a jackass. That’s not how this works. Marco was wrong, he was bad and he should FEEL bad. Instead he’s just a creepy jerk this entire episode, being entitled, manipulating star, screaming at tom.. and gets REWARDED FOR IT. Fuck this episode. 

FINAL THOUGHTS: I believe I said Fuck this episode.  This is easily one of star vs’ worst episode and much like the season after this episode it gets worse the more you think about it. I put it on my worst holiday episodes list for a reason.. and frankly even with the decent first 4 mintues it should be higher. It’s an unplesant mess that throughly ruins Marco’s character and takes him from a kind, upstanding, polite and bright young man to a creepy manpiulative jackasss. Fuck this episode and have a happy holidays. 

[dirt-cup-draco]

Bucky x Reader-Holding You

@wreckofawriter‘s cliche month

“What are you two doing here?” Bucky seethed, grabbing Rebecca’s arm as you two sauntered about the junkyard, drinks in hand and inhibitions slipping away. 

“Same as you,” Becca sneered, ripping her arm from her brother’s grasp. “Having a good time. It looks like you need to try harder,” 

Bucky growled, a noise low in his throat that only meant trouble but it made your stomach twist in knots and your heart rate rise to dangerous levels. 

“H-Hi Bucky,” You stammered, trying to distract from the tension and get a word in between the two large personalities you were stuck between. Being a Barnes meant being brash, stubborn and the life of the party and Becca and Bucky had those traits in spades. 

Bucky’s attention was drawn to you and he let out a groan. “Why you trying to get into trouble Becs?”

“God, you sound just like dad! Besides, Y/N is here and you’re not yelling at her!” Becca pouted. At nineteen, her teenage rebellion phase was going stronger than ever. Steve saw Bucky in her and you wondered if it was part of the reason the boys you were both so protective of her, keeping her from Bucky’s mistakes in the fear she would repeat history. 

“That’s because she can take care of herself!” Bucky argued and you were halfway between laughing at Becca’s put out look and fainting from the praise aimed at you from Bucky.

“She” You cut in, waving your hand between the two. “Can speak for herself. She is also going to go get another drink while you two argue. Where’s Steve?” You asked Bucky and you tried to keep the nerves from causing you to waver. You always got so nervous around him. Tonight, you refused. You would be as cool as a cucumber, damn it. 

“Oh um, check all the dark corners. Or just look for a lone shadow I guess,” Bucky said, his attention still focused on berating his baby sister for following him to a party that was very much not meant for the company of two young girls like yourself. Becca always hated that. She would be damned if she let anyone else tell her what to do or how to live her life. You could tell Bucky admired it as much as he hated it. 

She really was just like him. Yet, you could pick the two of them apart so easily. Bucky was surprisingly, not as rough around the edges as his sister. She had ideas, always had, and they drove her to being the person she wanted to be without apology. Bucky was the same in many aspects, but he could be who he wanted to be because he was a man. Becca had to fight her way to be accepted as the loud and proud woman she was. There wasn’t a submissive bone in her body. 

Bucky eye’s were lighter in color, sharp and observant but mingled in was the childish splendor that never seemed to leave. His cheeks were adorably rounded and his hair cropped short but it only accentuated his best features. You smiled into you drink thinking about the shape of his nose, the rosiness of his lips. To say you had a crush would be a devastating understatement. 

Grabbing a lukewarm drink from the bin a few feet from the fire pit you watched as people mingled, some sitting and chatting while others danced about. A few even ducked and darted behind and between the junked cars in a tipsy game of hide and seek. You shook the water from the bottom of the bin off your hand and noted that the ice had been long since melted, a shame. 

Your eyes were peeled, searching for Steve but it seemed like he was nowhere to be seen. He liked to stick close when Bucky was getting up to all that Bucky did but he wasn’t a fan of cheap thrills or getting his hopes crushed by another shallow dame. It made sense that he was somewhere further in the background, uninterested. You wanted to be spending your time with Bucky, but you feared he would grow weary of you following him around like a love sick puppy. Steve made good company and you were growing used to avoiding Bucky at the blonde’s side. 

Your search for Steve however was cut short as a tall man with boyish features approached you. His red hair curled around his ears and it bounced as he jogged to you. His cheeks were round, fair skin covered in freckles. It seemed his entire body was as you connected the dots that trailed down his neck and underneath the collar of his shirt that hung from his willowy form. His eyes were a dazzling shade of emerald and his smile turned golden and blinding from the firelight. “Care to dance?” The stranger asked, hand extended. 

You peered around you, determining that it was in fact you who he was talking to. You considered politely turning him down but then you caught sight of Bucky chatting up some pretty blonde. You sighed, but put on a smile. “I would love that,” 

He took your hand and swept you into the crowd with a celebratory “I told you boys she’d say yes!” that made you giggle. 

--

Three (or for, or five) drinks later and an hour of dancing and you were feeling absolutely dead on your feet, head floating on your shoulders as you tried to focus. You were on the grass, earth spinning about but your hand was clasped with another’s and your back was supported by a sturdy chest. “Hmm, when did we stop dancin’?” You wondered aloud, not quite remembering how you ended up on the ground. 

“Oh you sweet thing,” Shane, that was the pretty boy’s name, laughed warmly in your ear before pressing an affectionate kiss to your temple. “You really are a lightweight,” It seemed you had stopped some time ago as you focused on the embers of the bonfire, the flame burning lower than you remembered as the junkyard grew darker. You remembered feeling light, Shane spinning you around and sweeping you off your feet and now, your feet were resting. 

“Shhh, that’s a secret,” You mumbled to Shane, peering at him in the dying light of the fire. “I’m supposed to look impressive,” You muttered as he grinned, nudging his nose against yours. His hands were large against your hips, trailing up your sides. 

“Impressive for who?” He whispered, hand against your cheek as he nudged you to angle yourself towards him. You shifted then, moving in the handsome stranger’s lap so that you were facing him, elbows on his shoulders and nose against his. 

“Someone who doesn’t want me,” You pouted then, lip wobbling as you thought about how nice Shane was, how he made you feel special and wanted, but how it all felt wrong. You wanted it to be right, you had thought that since the moment he’d asked you to dance. He was sweet, fun, respectful. What was to stop you from wanting more with him? 

“Is it that guy you were lookin’ at before we danced?”

You nodded slowly, mind catching up as your tumultuous feelings and Shane rubbing your back helped you sober up. “Bucky. My stupid, lovely Bucky. Except he isn’t mine, he likes everyone else and I’m just Becca’s friend,” 

Shane didn’t know Becca but just smiled as you rambled on. “He’s a handsome fella, good guy too from what I know. We run into each other every so often. Steve’s a doll, been lucky enough to spend a night with him,” 

“You like Steve?” You gasped, eyes bright. “I love Steve! He’s so good, isn’t he so good? You should date Steve!” 

Shane laughed warm and hearty, reclining back as you stayed put. “I wouldn’t mind it but I don’t think that’s gonna work out, he’s steered clear of me since then... You’re pretty cute too, wouldn’t mind taking you out,” 

--

Bucky cursed as he stubbed his toe against an engine that had been left to collect dust in the yard. Hopping on one foot he surveyed the area through squinted eyes. The party had died down significantly and he had found Becca and Steve on the hood of a rusted car, watching the stars and talking about nothing in particular.

That was the sign that they were both thoroughly tired and his cue to go and search for you. He hadn’t seen you all night long and now as he couldn’t find you, he was growing worried. Bucky had been hoping to dance with you at least once tonight but then he had gotten into it was Rebecca and the chance had left with you when you’d gone to search for Steve.

What worried him more was that Steve told him that you’d never found him. What had you been up to all night? He skirted around the form of some passed out fool and walked closer to the dying firelight, taking long looks at the shadows in it’s vicinity and hoping that one of them had the white blouse you’d worn that night. 

That was his favorite top. It was well fitting and simple. The rosy colored buds of flowers made up the patter of the shirt and it brought out the tone of your skin and the warmth of your smile. You were as pretty as any flower he’d ever seen, prettier even. It hadn’t been until two years ago that he’d really taken notice. It had been a hot summer’s day and Becca was wanting to celebrate her birthday with him, Steve and you. You’d all gone for a swim. 

You had glowed in the sunlight as you ran around with his sister, splashing playfully in the water. “When did Y/N get so pretty?” He’d muttered, accidentally catching Steve’s ear. Bucky hadn’t heard the end of it yet, and it didn’t help that his eyes always seemed to be following you. So why couldn’t he find you now? 

He was about to call your name but was interrupted by two people speaking in low voices. Bucky could make out the frilled edge of your blouse. Your hands were planted on someone’s chest and your hair hung around your face as you giggled. 

“...You’re pretty cute too, wouldn’t mind taking you out,” The soft slur of the man’s voice floated up into the night air and Bucky sighed. He knew that voice. 

“Come on Y/N! Time to get out of here,” Bucky interrupted, hands finding your underarms as he hauled you up from Shane’s lap. The redhead darted up, a frown on his face.

“Jesus, Barnes. Give a guy, and girl-” He added, nodding to you as you pulled yourself from Bucky’s grasp. “-some warning next time,” 

“Yeah,” You said indignantly, fighting the urge to crawl under Bucky’s arm because it was what you wanted or go back to Shane’s side to make a point. Instead, you remained between the two. Your time spent talking to Shane had let you sober up and your mind was clear again and all was well despite the pounding that begun in your temples. “We were busy talkin’” 

“Right.” Bucky laughed. “Talking,” 

Shane opened his mouth, a bashful expression on his face but you cut in sooner. “We were! And so what if we weren’t? You’re Becca’s older brother, not mine,” 

Bucky felt like the wind had been knocked from his lungs and Shane let out a whoop of laughter. 

“Oh buddy! She got you there!” 

“Can it, Murphy,” Bucky blushed. Was that all he was to you? Becca’s brother? He understood if you didn’t feel the same, but he had at least hoped you two were friends. Even when you were all kids and he used to grab Steve and book it down the street so you and Becca couldn’t follow the pair of them to their “Super Secret Boy’s Only Hide Out”, which had only been an alley that didn’t get much traffic from trouble or citizens alike. The name had needed work. Despite his childishness, he’d always come back with Steve after they’d gotten bored and you’d all eat ice pops on the porch as friends. 

“Yeah, Murphy,” You giggled and Shane rolled his eyes at his last name, tucking you under his arm and ruffling your hair. 

“Whatever, kid,” He scoffed.

Bucky felt that familiar jealousy rise up and he glared. “I was just coming to see if you were coming back home with us all, but if you’d rather stay here then I don’t care,” He did care. 

You looked between Shane and Bucky for a minute before you pat Shane’s cheek. “Tonight was fun, don’t forget me, yeah?” 

“Never, ever, sweetheart,” Shane winked. “I’m sure I’ll see you around,” He said pointedly, glancing at Bucky before strolling off himself. 

“Lets go,” Bucky muttered, already four strides ahead of you before you could even process his words. You had to jog the last few steps to get to him. You grabbed his arm, digging your heels in as you brought him to a stop. 

“Why’re you so pissed?” You asked, eyebrow shooting up to your hairline as Bucky grunted. 

“I’m not pissed.” 

“Riiight,” You rolled your eyes in disbelief, trying to ignore how he hooked his arm in yours as you began walking again. You didn’t mind the proximity to him, even if he was being a bristly jerk. “Or did you forget the part where you pulled me off of Shane?” 

“You got me there,” Bucky winced. He’d been jealous, what could he say? “I’m just tired?” 

The suggestion fell flat however and you laughed softly. “You’re a miserable liar even after all of these years. You should’ve learned when you tried to convince me that it wasn’t you who had cut my ponytail while I’d been sleeping over” 

“You might’ve believed me if I hadn’t been holding the scissors,” 

“Maybe, but I’ve come to notice you sound like you’re asking a question every time you lie, like you can’t quite believe it yourself,” 

“You’re drunk?” 

You laughed as Bucky tried to wiggle his way out of the conversation, only now noticing his quite obvious tell. 

“I’m plenty sober now, thank you. But, for a moment there I could barely remember my own name let alone what Shane and I were doing on the ground,” You laughed lightheartedly but Bucky tensed up. 

“What do you have against him.” 

“Nothing?” 

“The truth, Bucky,” You sighed. “Please? I’m not interrogating you, I just hoped we were beyond lies,” Thankfully, the pleasant buzz was still in your system and your fun with Shane had given you the confidence to speak openly and honestly with Bucky. You hadn’t stuttered yet!

“You like each other,” Bucky stated and you paused in your steps. 

“I barely know him,” You pointed out. “We had fun, he’s a friend. I can tell you right now that we weren’t serious about a thing all night- we didn’t even kiss. He’s a nice guy, we were just talking.” 

Bucky just shrugged. 

“Look,” You sighed. “I know you’re protective over Becca and I can see why you see me the same way, but I meant what I said earlier. You’re not my big brother Bucky and-” 

“You really think thats what this is about?” Bucky gaped at you, nearly tripping over his own two feet as you both dodged a spare tire laying around. 

“What else could it be?” You asked, exasperated. You stood beneath the moonlight, arms crossed tight over your chest as you glanced at Bucky. There was a lonesomeness in your eyes that he found he could understand. It was the look of someone who had lost hope for something different from the ordinary. But what was unchanging in your life that troubled you? He couldn’t recall Rebecca mentioning anything. 

“I- You- You really don’t know?” Bucky stammered. 

“Don’t know what?” You asked, feeling a bit frustrated. You didn’t like being out of the loop especially when it came to Bucky. Had you messed up somehow? Did he think you a fool?

“Oh, doll,” Bucky laughed. “You’re going to be the death of me,” 

“Buck, just tell me!” 

Bucky just laughed harder and smiled wider, his hand easily finding yours as he pulled you against him. “What I have against Shane Murphy, is that he got to hold you all night long and I didn’t and I’d have kissed his ass if he kissed you because I didn’t have the guts to do it,” 

Your surprised gasp was swallowed as Bucky brushed his lips against yours, an experiment that left you weak in the knees. He pulled away to gauge your reaction but you chased his lips, gripping the back of his neck as you brought him to you again. “The night isn’t over yet,” You sighed as he trailed desperate, open mouth kisses against your jaw and neck. “He’s not here, and you’ve got me all to yourself,” 

Bucky’s arms were comfortably tight around your waist and you ran your fingers through his hair, wanting to memorize as many sensations as you could before this moment was over. Bucky was paying particular attention to a spot on your neck that had you gasping softly, hot breath coming from parted lips, when he heard a strangled noise and a boisterous laugh. 

“Fuck,” Bucky cursed on a panted breath, head falling to rest on your shoulder. 

“You owe me three bucks and some gum,” Becca beamed at Steve and he rolled his eyes. 

“Rather owe it to you then cheat you out of it,” He muttered with pink cheeks, embarrassed at finding you and Bucky in the middle of something but glad you two were finally realizing what had been between you for the past couple years. 

“You were taking so long, we got worried,” She explained. “You both have the terrible habit of waiting forever. I swear, all I hear from Y/N is how she would kill to be one of those girls you take to dances and Steve only ever hears how pretty you think she is.” 

Bucky grinned, looking down at you as you hid your face. “You had a crush on me?” 

“You had one on me?” You countered back and his smug look turned sheepish. 

“Glad that’s settled,” Becca chimed in again and you giggled as she looped her arm through yours, tugging you forward. “Now lets go home,” 

Bucky wanted to steal you from his sister’s side but he held back as he strolled behind the both of you, Steve elbowing his side in congratulations as he followed after you. You looked over your shoulder, shooting him a smile and a playful roll of your eyes as Becca whispered rapid-fire about something he couldn't make out. It made his heart skip a beat. 

Take that Shane, she’s mine. Bucky thought proudly as he followed Steve, having fallen a few steps behind. Bucky couldn’t get the thought of you out of his head, nor could he forget the feel of your lips against his. And god knows I’m her’s.

Bucky realized that the night truly was over as he dropped you off at home, wishing it didn’t have to end so soon after you two had only begun. Yet, when you kissed him for a long moment before racing indoors he knew that it wouldn’t be for long that you two would be parted and he would be holding you again. 

tag list: @angelinathebook @thehumanistsdiary @cleopatera

[when-they-write-stuff]

Hi! We’ve never talked but I adore your blog and writing 🤗 I would love to see 38 from the prompt post maybe?

38. “Nothing about us is conventional”

- -

Stiles kissed Derek first.

He’d always thought that one day, after the man got his head out of his ass and realized Stiles was downright irresistible, Derek would be the one to initiate things. But then at the beginning of senior year, after a summer of Stiles spending every waking moment at the loft, Derek still hadn’t done anything.

So Stiles kissed him first. He thought he was allowed to do that.

And the thing was, Derek responded.

Stiles liked to believe that one day, he’d break down all of the Sourwolf’s walls. He knew he’d gotten even further this summer than he ever had before, but Derek was a fortress. Just when Stiles thought he’d broken down the man’s last level of grumpy-growly defense, he was faced with a whole other line of barriers.

One day, Stiles thought. One day, he’d get the man to fully trust him. But for now, he thought things were good enough.

Except, he forgot Derek was a hard-headed asshole.

“This,” Derek said, coffee in hand and a brown-haired woman standing at his side, “is Amy.”

Stiles blinked intelligently at her for a moment. Her cheeks were pink and she looked nervous, the barista’s apron wrapped around her waist. Stiles supposed it wasn’t ‘Amy’ who surprised him, but the fact that Derek knew anybody outside of his little loft hidey-hole.

Also, that the man was introducing them. Maybe he was proud of making a new friend?

Derek waited with a raised eyebrow and Stiles blinked out of his thoughts, pushing a half-hearted grin onto his face as he nodded, not quite sure where this was going. Derek confused him sometimes. “Okay.”

Some of Amy’s smile faded. Derek shot him a warning look.  “Stiles, this is that friend I was telling you about.”

‘Derek’ and ‘friend’ still took Stiles off guard. He supposed if he thought about it, Derek had mentioned meeting someone at the cafe a few weeks ago. He’d said something about how she was ‘nice’ and ‘funny’. Stiles was pretty sure he’d been complaining about his single woes from Sophomore year, then. He hadn’t really been listening to Derek or himself, to be honest.

Sometimes, Stiles just felt the need to talk.

“Oh,” Stiles said. Then a sudden panicked realization hit him like a truck. “Oh.”

Derek’s forced smile looked more murderous than usual. But before Stiles could make up an excuse to run, Amy was stepping forward, Derek was stepping back, and Stiles was left alone with no coffee and apparently a… a... wait, was Derek wingmanning him?

Stiles’s stomach did something entirely new and he was pretty sure he wasn’t okay with it.

Amy started to say something but Stiles’s mind had gone blank. Three days ago, he and Derek had been making out on the couch and now the man was trying to set him up? Or maybe… maybe… no, the kissing had not been a fever dream. Stiles had gone right home afterward and proceeded to have a panic attack followed by the literal eating of a giant tub of ice cream in celebration.

His dad had been giving him strange looks ever since.

“Stiles?”

Stiles snapped out of his thoughts, looking at Amy with round eyes. She held out a slip of paper with her number on it and he stared for a moment, before plastering another grin on his face and taking the paper from her hands.

“So you’ll pick me up at seven?”

“Seven?”

Amy’s smile flickered. “For dinner at that new Italian place I was just telling you about.”

“Oh,” Stiles said. “Um, oh, yeah. Italian! Love Italian. Yeah, I’ll be there. At seven. Because this is a date?”

Amy was looking a lot less impressed now than she was five minutes ago. Stiles thought that was usually how things went when he talked to girls, wingmanned or not. But she still nodded and then turned away, moving back behind the cafe counter.

Stiles just stood there for another few moments, staring at the slip of paper in his hands as his brain tried to catch up.

Derek had just wingmanned him. Derek Hale has just wingmanned him. Then left. And now Stiles was going on a date. Tonight.

“Oh my god,” Stiles said, shoving the number into his pocket.

That stubborn-headed Alpha bastard.

-

Stiles showed up at the loft a lot later that night with a suit jacket hanging off one shoulder, a tie half undone, and exhaustion under his eyes that he couldn’t even begin to explain.

Derek sat on the couch and tensed up the moment he spotted him in the doorway. Stiles held his gaze for a long moment before trudging over and dropping down at his side with a sigh. If possible, Derek tensed even more.

“Did you have a… good date?”

“Dude,” Stiles said, glancing over. “I think my wallet is crying.”

Derek’s brows furrowed. Stiles leaned heavily against his side, just wanting to burrow up and maybe sleep for the next day or two. 

It wasn’t like anything had gone wrong, exactly. In fact, Stiles would say he’d been the proper gentleman. He’d shown up on time, he’d paid for dinner and dessert. They’d walked around town after and when Amy told him things ‘just weren’t like she’d expected’ Stiles nearly full on agreed. But he was a gentleman. So he’d just nodded, driven her home, and decided he was never letting Derek wingman him again.

Which really shouldn’t be a decision he had to make.

“I just want curly fries and sleep,” Stiles said. “But that restaurant was so expensive, I don’t think I can even afford curly fries right now.”

“So… it didn’t go well?”

Stiles glared at him. “I blame you for this.”

“What.”

“Dude!” Stiles said, drawing back a few inches. “What? What? When you said ‘let’s go get coffee’ this morning, I expected to be walking out with a nice hot mocha, not a date!”

Derek gave him a blank look. “I told you days ago this was happening.”

“Uh, when?”

“When I told you Amy was looking for someone and you said ‘oh yeah, I know that feeling’.”

“Because I do! I have! Not now, but—”

“Then I told you I could try and set something up and you gave me a funny look and said ‘yeah, Sourwolf, you do that’ and proceeded to walk out of the loft.”

Stiles blinked at him. For some reason, those words did sound familiar, but he wouldn’t go around saying something like that unless… “Dude, I was joking! Are you serious right now? I’m like, ninety percent sure we had just finished making out before that conversation!”

Derek stared. Then his face turned bright red, he frowned even harder, and proceeded not to say another word. Stiles shoved himself off the couch, throwing his hands up.

“Oh my god, Derek! Are you serious?”

“What.”

“Stop ‘what-ing’ me! Do you really think I go around kissing people and then letting them set me up with someone else? That’s a douchebag move. That’s a Jackson move!”

The man looked at him with a blank expression. Stiles scoffed and turned away, waving a hand over his shoulder.

“You know what, fine dude, whatever. I’m going to go beg spare change from my own father because I’m in desperate need of curly fries but I can’t even afford any right now. Please, feel free to make up a list of everyone else you think I should attempt dating. Clearly I need it.”

Derek didn’t answer. Stiles gave him one more look over his shoulder but the man just crossed his arms, arching one brow. Stomach twisting, Stiles stalked out of the loft and made sure to slam the door behind him.

He was tired earlier. Now he was downright pissed.

When he made it to his jeep, he didn’t drive for a long moment. Instead, he glared at nothing and tried to keep himself from stalking right back up to the loft. What the hell did Derek think they were? What the hell did he think Stiles had wanted in the first place?

He tried to replay the last few weeks over again in his head. The first time Stiles had kissed him; all nerves and a sudden rush of adrenaline. Then small kisses on the couch, or in the kitchen, or when Stiles came by the loft after school.

And Stiles… Stiles hadn’t known what exactly to call it. 

They didn’t mention anything to the pack but Stiles thought that might just take time. And Derek didn’t really acknowledge anything was happening until Stiles was kissing him, but he thought maybe that was just another one of the man’s walls.

Sighing, Stiles dropped his forehead against the steering wheel. Was he the idiot here?

No, he couldn’t be. It was the hard-headed, grumpy growly, big bad Alpha werewolf who was most likely up angsting in the loft and—

A knock on his window startled Stiles out of his thoughts. He squawked, head snapping upward, and his elbow banged on the steering wheel, the alarm almost instantly going off. Derek jumped back and Stiles swore, quickly turning it off.

For a moment, they just stared at each other. Then, groaning, Stiles opened his door and pulled himself back into the night, crossing his arms against the faint chill.

“What, Derek?”

“You weren’t checking me off a list.”

Stiles stared at him for a long moment before finding words. Derek’s face turned bright red and the man dropped his gaze. “What?”

“You weren’t checking me off a list or experimenting with… another gender, or—”

“Dude, what the hell?”

Derek looked up, a ‘caught in headlights’ look in his eyes. Stiles swallowed hard, searching his face. 

“That’s what you thought I was doing?”

“You’re a teenager, Stiles, it’s the expected and conventional behavior of—”

“Conventional,” Stiles said, cutting him off. 

Derek nodded.

“Oh my god,” Stiles said, rubbing a hand over his face. To be honest, he really should have seen this coming. One of Derek’s biggest walls was ‘I’m not deserving of actual love’ but Stiles had been hoping he’d broken that one down already. Apparently not. “Derek, nothing about us is conventional.”

Derek just looked confused. Stiles sighed and stepped forward, tilting his chin upward.

“You’re a big bad grumpy Alpha werewolf. I’m the token human with a baseball bat who Isaac compares much too often to Little Red Riding Hood. We fight monsters every other week and attempt to live normal lives in between. Also, I’m eighteen now. I’m like, a couple years away from getting grey hairs.”

Derek rolled his eyes at that. Stiles grinned, reaching up to brush the pad of his thumb across the man’s lower lip.

“Also you’re like, really hot. I’ve been wanting you to kiss me since Sophomore year and if we’re being honest, I kissed you first with the hopes that we could keep doing that. For a long time. Like, a really long time. Like, maybe until we actually do have grey hairs and—”

Derek moved forward and cut him off, slightly chapped lips pressing against his own. Stiles startled for only a second before melting into the man’s touch, his hand moving to cup the back of Derek’s neck.

“You,” Derek said around his lips, breaths warm against his skin. “Stiles, I want you too.”

“Good, you big idiot, because I’ve been pining for two years now—”

Derek seemed to notice how effectively he could shut Stiles up by just kissing him. Because the man only growled at the back of his throat and pushed Stiles against the jeep, one hand catching a handful of his hair and tilting his head back a few inches before kissing him harder.

Stiles wasn’t really complaining. 

And yeah, he thought Derek was kind of a big idiot. But to be fair, he could be too. And maybe it took two years, one chaotically pining summer, and an accidental wingmanning situation, but Stiles was pretty sure he’d broken down another wall tonight,

There were probably more. 

Like, a lot more. Like enough to give him grey hairs even as a teenager more. But Stiles might be a little okay with that. One day, he thought, he’d get the man to fully trust him. One day, he’d break down all of Derek’s walls. But for now, things were good enough. 

Derek was always enough.

- -

I had so much fun with this one! Thank you so much for the prompt, you’re so fantastic. And I hope I did it justice! 

(if you enjoy my writing, consider supporting your underpaid student writer? You can also request a prompt if you’d like!). https://ko-fi.com/rh27writer

[monkeebratz]

Bio!Dad Bruce Wayne AU - Super Meet

Initial idea | How it Happened | Addition by iggy-of-fans | Reply to iggy’s Addition | Summer Begins | Summer Part 2 | Supers Meet (you are here) | Scarecrow Interlude |

SO we have two ways that the Parisian Super Squad meets the Batfam. 

The first, which I’m only writing down because I cannot forget about it, and its hilarious is: the Super Squad gets to Gotham, gets Mari’s texts, gets to their hotel room, throws their stuff in, transforms, and starts running around looking for her. They find her walking around the fashion district with the Wayne’s. Adrien, as Chat Noir, spies Marinette first. And, in typical fashion, acts first and thinks later. 

So basically the Wayne’s watch a young, blonde, male version of catwoman throw an incredibly expandable baton between them and Mari, jump down, pick her up. Say ���Bonjour. Au revoir.” And then make his expandable baton extend again and carry the now screeching Marinette to the top of the building where the rest of the Super Squad is waiting. Luka is going to strangle him. Holy shit. Chat Noir? More like Chat NO-ir!

The Batfam, of course, suits up and starts chasing after them. In full daylight. (These are the perfect opportunity for “Only in Gotham tweets” tbh) They catch up to Marinette berating all of them in incredibly loud and frantic French. As Multimouse. Going on about how irresponsible it was to leave Paris unprotected! Yes she knows Hawkmoth was defeated but it is the principle of the matter!! And they left BEFORE she told them about what happened with her bio!family and Batman! ALSO THEY KIDNAPPED HER IN BROAD ASS FUCKING DAYLIGHT IT DOESN’T MATTER IF THIS IS GOTHAM YOU SHUT YOUR TRAP CHAT! 

The whole squad looks so defeated but then Mari starts crying and throws herself into Chat’s arms going on about how good it is to see them and she’s so happy they’re here and they’re so so stupid! And then its a hug pile. Big hug pile. The Batfam looks on in utter confusion bc, again, only like. Two of them know French. Then Batman coughs and they all look up and just. Don’t move. Maybe if they don’t move he won’t see them. 

“... I need to be taking Miss Dupain-Cheng back to her family, now.” 

“But-!” WHACK (why yes that’s the sound of Marinette kicking at them all)

“You kidnapped a girl in front of her family with no warning, in a very dangerous city. I’m sure her family would like the reassurance that she’s safe.” 

So Batman and the Robins take Marinette back to Wayne Manor and Alfred clings to her (like he totally didn’t put everything together already they’re all so obvious). And then the Batfam, minus costume, comes barreling down the stairs and they all tackle Marinette and its another hug pile. Bc holy shit Mari why did you get kidnapped by your so called friends? Oh, they’re stupid? Can relate. 

And then. Of course. Guess who shows up at the door. Just peeks their heads in, detransformed of course. “Uh, hi? We’re friends of Marinette? We’re here to visit her?” 

Bruce is shrieking like WHY. WHY IS THIS SHIT GENETIC?! Internally. Can’t spill the beans QUITE yet. 

Anyway, INTRODUCTIONS GALOR, YADA YADA, Dick and Adrien get along so well. Too well. Kagami and Damien also get along well too (they’re both ready to stab a bitch, don’t test them). Luka is too chill NOT to get along with anyone, unless they insult his friends and partners. Chloe is ready to throw down but also holy shit that’s Bruce fucking Wayne? Damn, Mari. DAMN. Already on social media about this. 

(Also listen, I am shipping trash so I’m going to be vague as hell with things but in my brain this will be a poly!partners au so the Super Squad is just dating each other. But for the sake of everyone they could also just be really good/close friends, as they’ll be sharing rooms and be very touchy feeling and such. Its up to you. But just know, I’m just. Like this.) 

So it basically just devolves into story sharing and puppy piles and the Wayne’s all looking at the Super Squad with side eyes bc HM. HOW FAMILY. ALSO STOP TOUCHING THE BABY! NO CORRUPTING THE BABY!! THAT’S OURS!!!

WE SAW HER FIRST SO FUCK YOU!

I’M LITERALLY? HER FATHER? FUCK? YOU? YOU CATWOMAN KNOCK OFF???

This is all happening with their eyes btw

And of course. The whole squad follows Marinette out as Multimouse to go meet batman, who Bruce told her had something to talk with her about. And she kinda cries bc SHE’S GOING TO GET KICKED OUT OF THE CITY BC OF HER IDIOTS!

Its not, its the Batfam taking the Super Squad to the Justice League tower. They weren’t expecting so many people but its fine. They’ll make it work. 

Because Bruce had called the Justice League for an emergency meeting that night with the tone of voice that clearly said anybody who didn’t show up would have a bat hunting them down and shoving his foot up their ass so far they’ll taste patented leather for the rest of their life. They’ve almost never seen him so angry? And he’s bringing guests? What? The fuck?? 

Multimouse Marinette gets briefed that, as the current Guardian of the Miraculous, and a hero of Paris, she’ll be there to get a formal apology and an explanation about why a bunch of teenagers had to fight an emotionally manipulative super villain by themselves. Chat Noir is maybe hiding behind the rest of the Miraculous Crew and they’re only kinda notice but don’t think much of it tbh. Adrien does NOT want to be the one to explain that his FATHER was said super villain. save him. 

Btw the whole group is having mixed reactions to the idea of meeting the Justice League. Adrien wants to run away but he also doesn’t care? Like. They’re all superhero’s, he gets that they can’t always help, but also. Fuck. He loves being a superhero but having someone with actual experience might have saved them all a lot of heartache. Chloe, meanwhile, doesn’t give a sINGLE SHIT about the JL. Fuck them. Fuck them so hard, so assholes ignored them and they’re going to be high and mighty. She may be a better person now but she will not put up with their nonsense. Not now. Not ever. Fight her. Luka is that sort of calm angry? He’s pissed that they brushed them off but since everything’s over there’s no point in holding onto his anger. There may or may not be a lot of meditating in the Bat Plane on the way there so he doesn’t use his lyre like a fucking BOOMERANG AGAIN and smack them all upside the head with it. Kagami doesn’t care? She’ll threaten them to the ends of the earth should they ever blow off such messages again, but she also just. Has very little emotional investment in them otherwise. 

Marinette, of course, is freaking out and pacing and trying to channel her inner ladybug and screaming internally bc why. WHY. She’s angry but she also understands, but she’s still so stressed. just. please. Tiny squeaks. 

And okay, they get there, and Batman comes in with ALL the Robins AND all these new kids? 

Flash: I’m sorry, you called an emergency meeting because of your extended family? 

Diana: HUSH

Because Diana, of course, recognizes them what and who they are. And is screaming bc holy shit? The Miraculous Holders are active again? Do they need their help? Where is Ladybug? Who is the Guardian? She just has. so. many. questions. 

And Captain Marvel/Shazam (seriously wtf IS HIS NAME) is fangirling HARD. Because that’s the Miraculous Holders! The ORIGINAL magic users! SEVERAL of his people (Hercules/etc) were Miraculous holders on top of Shazam and HOOOLLLY SHIT THEY’RE HERE! IN FRONT OF HIM! HOLY SHIT!!!

Superman, Green Arrow, and several others are sweating bc uh. UH. OH SHIT THOSE MESSAGES WERE REAL?

Yes. They were real. And now they have Batman in full dad mode demanding an explanation. Several people (Superman, other mutation/alien esc powers) claim they went to Paris to check on the damage but they couldn’t find any, OR the supposed supers of villain. 

Multimouse steps forward and starts explains how the Ladybug powers work and if they had bothered to contact them beyond telling them this wasn’t a line of communication to be used for PRANKS, they would know better. Diana chimes in with how she was helped created BY the Ladybug miraculous, etc, why did nobody ask her about this? Hell, why did nobody ask their resident magic user, Captain Marvel/Shazam??? 

Green Lantern: No offense, but doesn’t this all seem a little far fetched? 

Chloe: ... Bitch, you have an alien ring that gives you powers. Shut the fuck up. 

So there’s some arguing, back and forth, and Bruce looses his temper a little bit. Smacks his hand HARD on the table. “Enough. It is your job to investigate. It is not your job to leave the saving of an entire city to my fucking daughter, who was barely thirteen at the time this all started. As far as I’m concerned, this can never, ever, happen again. Wonder Woman, Captain, I assume you’d be willing to go through our notifications for any discrepancies?” 

And there’s a huge moment of silence. Everyone’s staring at him. Multimouse squeaks. Red Hood just. “Good going, Bats. Real smooth.” 

Chat: OH MY GOD YOUR DAD IS BATMAN? WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING, WHY- HOOOOO OH MY GOD YOUR DAD! BATMAN! IS DAD! YOUR DAD WHO IS ALSO-!

Viperion is making wheezing noises and covers Chat’s mouth and then there’s even more yelling and arguing and finger pointing, and Bruce wants a drink. And a nap. In whatever order he can get them. 

Basically he gets Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel/Shazam to agree to looking through messages but also gets the hell out of dodge. 

Next in, the reactions to all this tomfoolery. Also apparently superhero-ism is now genetic. 

Tag List! (Please remember to send me an ask if you want to be added!)

@mystery-5-5 @mariae2900 @vgirl-10123 @iglowinggemma28 @deredereart @synnesstra @dahjokester @destinationdesignation @lordsmeldingtonthethird @emjrabbitwolf @unabashedbookworm @saphiraazure2708 @rhub4rb @romanoff-queen @octoberscorn@littleblue5mcdork @foxyrelina @severelyenchantedwonderland @dast218 @ace-aro-agender​ @rogueptoridactyl​ @kitkatcatfangirl @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @poshplumcot  @iggy-of-fans @schrodingers25​ @two-faced-biatch​ @moonlitarchangels @vixen-uchiha @rikku052 @elspethshadow

People who should be tagged but may not? So sorry, I’m still going to add you until tumblr stops being a dick about this.

@tbehartoo  @wuvpancakes

[hannigramficrecs]

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[basaltbutch]

honest to god its been like. six years since i slept in a normal bed. wait here i'm gonna rank all the places ive slept so far from worst to best. please keep in mind that i have both chronic hip pain and sleep apnea so these are a bit biased;

17. no bed just roughing it on the floor of a best friend's shed/tent. honestly was worth it, but just couldn't sleep bc my hip hurt too bad. hobbled around like an old man for the next few days.

16. the blow-up mattress at my bio dad's house. fucking HATED these. had to pack them up every night. way too small. too close to the floor, was worried about being stepped on. had a fan blowing in my face 24/7 and the comforters were way too thick. no wonder i had chronic dry-eye for the first couple years of teenage-hood.

15. in front of the school waiting for my mom to pick me up. honestly just slept out of boredom. the sunshine was nice but it was bad during cooler months and/or rain.

14. hotel beds. i'm convinced these aren't made for actual sleeping.

13. normal bed. middle tier i guess. too close to the ground imo. cool for jumping on. sorta boring.

12. in a tree. SO VERY UNCOMFY but love being up high :) sprawl like a creachure. good for short naps.

11. sunning on rock. same problems as the lowest in the list (hip pain ouchie) but for short naps it's awesome so long as u don't mind bugs.

10. floatie in a pool. did get sunburn and dunked in the water but for the 15 minutes i napped it was awesome.

9. car rides. cool and sexy but a little too cramped and the upright position is a little meh. gets bumped up when ur taking a trip and a friend lets u fall asleep on them. school bus rides are also cool for the same reason but i hate randos looking at me while im asleep.

8. bunk bed. LOVE being up that high since i always pick the top bunk but also way too little privacy. nice for short trips but i never really sleep well in them.

7. friend's beanbag. honestly i love this one but we always fight over it so there's a big chance someone will just sit on you. like to curl up and feel like a cat.

6. friend's bed. give me 15 minutes in ur room and i *will* fall asleep on ur bed if u let me.

5. couch. bit too small in my opinion but it's nice to bury my face in the pillows. always feel unreal for a bit after waking up. best when there's a bunch of friends there and the lights are all on and you accidentally take a snooze on someone's lap and wake up all disoriented.

4. loft bed. YEA BABEY THIS IS MY GO-TO!!! love the ones with the straight-up walls around it so u have extra privacy. awesome to hide in & build nests in. feel like a creachure scrambling up and down the ladder. can hide things underneath the mattress easily, including a 5 year long prank to my future self.

3. curled up on a friend's lap. this list has just turned into touch-starved central. fr though sometimes i will just fake being asleep so that someone can just hold me for a moment.

2. hammock. im convinced these were the way humans were meant to sleep. sleep apnea isn't as bad in these. ur curled up like a little creachure. the wind gets to rock you to sleep. in the summer u get the nice breeze under the hammock which cools you down. i don't think i'll ever buy a new mattress again i'm just gonna go with a sleeping hammock.

1. the beds my friends make for me out of a bunch of random materials. honestly ok there's one friend in particular who does this and every time i feel like im gonna cry bc wow..... words cannot describe how it makes me feel

[morethanboomtschk]

Alan Oldham: The Art of Techno Futurism

Alan Oldham is just that – a forward thinking futurist and former radio jockey whose work has long fused the not-so-distant worlds of art and music. Creating illustrations under his own name and spinning under the moniker DJ T-1000, Oldham’s status as a sci-fi visionary has made him one of the most unique and important figures to come out of the Detroit techno movement. “Detroit techno, in my view, was originally about futurism,” he says. “Futuristic black music. Look no further than Juan Atkins for that. A lot of old sci-fi movies and TV shows portrayed a future that had no blacks in it. Detroit techno was a statement that black people would be around in the far future. You can also connect Sun Ra and Mothership Connection-era Parliament/Funkadelic to that aesthetic.”

In the tradition of Sun Ra’s Arkestral manuevers and P-Funk’s explorations of funk’s outer limits, Oldham brings forth elements of science fiction, cultural awareness, higher levels of consciousness and even mythology to forge a sensibility from a future state of existence – with nods to realism interwoven. He believes those talents are innate. “I'm a natural,” says Oldham. “I had an art class in high school, but that's about it. I've been drawing since I was born.” His style – sharp, angular, forward and revolutionary – reflects both the evolution of his craft and his consistency. “My style has matured a bit, especially with my move to paintings,” he says. “But essentially, it's the same as it's always been.”

Oldham began his artistic career as a comic book illustrator, writing for small companies such as Hot Comics, Amazing Comics, Renegade Press, Caliber Comics and a few others. “I started out like everybody else, trying to draw superheroes and trying to get in at Marvel or DC by aping their basic style,” he recalls. “I came up with my own rip-offs of characters, then a few originals of my own. But once I stopped trying to draw like other people, I was able to get in on the indie comics scene of the late ’80s. Anime and manga influences were coming in. It wasn’t so much the basic Marvel or DC styles anymore. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles famously came from that scene, so it was a gold mine back then. Anybody could do anything and it would sell. You could come out with a black and white comic and sell 50,000 copies. We did over 15,000 on Johnny Gambit #1.” - Johnny Gambit is an indie comic book Oldham created at Visual Noise, a studio he put together in the late ‘80s as a place to ink and letter the comic. The name was recently resurrected for an art show Oldham mounted at the Record Loft in Berlin, where he is currently based. Yet in 1986 in Detroit, Derrick May took notice of Johnny Gambit and Oldham’s advanced illustrative style – and he introduced Oldham to the developing techno sound stemming from the Motor City.

“When I went to Wayne State University years ago, there was a place on campus called Student Center,” Oldham remembers. “We all used to hang out there between classes. Some semesters I had long gaps between day and evening classes, so I was there a lot. I was drawing Johnny Gambit at the time and I would have my art supplies with me. Derrick May used to work at this video arcade right off campus on Woodward, and lived a block away from WSU, so I began to run into him. I had known Derrick since we were kids, by the way. Like 10-11 years old. Anyway, he was coming through Student Center when he saw me working on Johnny Gambit. He said he was starting this new label and he asked me to do the label art for it. He offered me $50 for both sides, so I did the designs. $50 was a lot of money in 1986. The record turned out to be ‘Nude Photo’ b/w ‘The Dance’ and it turned out to be very famous.”

It would become the first of dozens of album illustrations for the Detroit techno community. “Derrick had this buddy who needed a logo for his label called KMS,” says Oldham. “So he brought Kevin Saunderson down to Student Center one day, and I met him. I ended up doing the first KMS logo, the one that’s on ‘Truth of Self-Evidence,’ ‘Bounce Your Body to the Box,’ etc. And it just went on from there.” - Oldham was landing gig after gig. In 1987, one of those gigs brought him to a different world: radio. An intern at WDET (a Detroit Public Radio station) the summer prior, he was then offered his own show, which was aptly called “Fast Forward,” holding true to Oldham’s futuristic approach to life. “Fast Forward” had become Detroit’s first-ever all-electronic radio program and ran between 1987-1992. Oldham had a graveyard shift initially – 3 AM to 6 AM – but his audience was vast, as he played everything from classic favourites to burgeoning techno beats from colleagues and friends.

Some of the music given to him for his radio show was from Jeff Mills and Mike Banks, who had just formed Underground Resistance, and they recruited Oldham for yet another gig – this time in the area of public relations for the newfound collective. “Jeff Mills was another childhood friend,” Oldham describes. “Mills lived down the street from this kid I used to draw with. This kid’s dad had this high-rise at 1600 Lafayette that we used to gather at to play Monopoly every week and Jeff was in the group. Years later, Jeff had hooked up with Mike Banks to form UR. By this time, I had my radio show on WDET, and they used to feed me reel-to-reels and white labels to play on the air.

“By 1991, UR was getting stronger and they needed PR help. I minored in English and learned to write press releases in school, so I started doing that for UR for gas money. We were all crammed into Banks’ mom’s basement. Rob Hood was in the group, too, designing flyers, pasting up stuff. This was pre-Mac, of course.”

Oldham’s involvement with Underground Resistance led to his introduction to DJing. “When Jeff left UR in ’92 and they had an Australian Tour all lined up, Banks asked me to be the replacement tour DJ,” he says. “Everybody had code names in UR, so that's when DJ T-1000 was born. I went at it with gusto, ’cause it was my big break. And that was that.” - However, the development of DJ T-1000 also led to the temporary demise of Oldham’s comic illustrations. “Once I got into DJing and traveling every weekend and making music, doing comics took a back seat,” he says. “But with the slow demise of the music business as I once knew it, I’m back to the first love, making comics and art again.”

His travels and constant connections resulted in Oldham creating art for an impressive roster including Derrick May, Miss Djax, Ben Sims, Richie Hawtin, Astralwerks, Third Ear Recordings, Opilec Music, Steve Bug, Cisco Ferreira (The Advent), Delsin Records, AW Recordings and many others. “Because of my work for Djax-Up-Beats, robots have become a theme in my artwork,” Oldham says. “People know me for that, so I decided to continue the theme in my big canvases. Big booties, stiletto heels, spaceships and robots.” Oldham’s art garnered international attention through the DJs and labels, especially in Europe, where there was (and still is) a deep fascination with Detroit techno. “When I started emphasizing on doing gallery shows in Europe, the techno art got even more popular,” he says. Although he felt something special stirring out of the Detroit techno movement, Oldham knew his calling was overseas. “All that interest from Europe… for me, just the chance to get out of Detroit and see the world and make so many international friends was a very big thing, and still is,” he says.

Today, Oldham travels the world showcasing his art, as well as his music. He continues to spread the futuristic message of Detroit techno on an international level through his talents. “My number one goal with both my art and music is to impact my audience in a positive way,” he says. “No negativity, just mood and cool. I’ve got paintings hanging in people’s homes and studios, and my music in their iPods. I want to push my aesthetic out there and leave my mark.”

This article was published on the Red Bull Music Academy website in November 2014. Written by Ashley Zlatopolsky.

[rwby-grimm-guardians]

RWBY Grimm Guardians Arc 4: Re-Bonding In Mistral Special I

Welcome back to Re-Bonding In Mistral! So, while we wait for chapter 5, here’s a special (first of a few) that will explain what Ruby and Yang are dealing with currently. This takes place during chapter 4 in the middle of the night.

Yes, it’s another nightmare segment. Featuring a NEW form of Cinder attacking Ruby. Yang will also explain her PTSD with the fight with Adam, so because of that, you are free to skip this chapter entirely.

This will also delve into what Ruby and Yang think about the events that happened in the canon Vol 3.

Note that the canon here will be treated as their nightmares or them having visions. It can be seen as EITHER.

As usual, please give constructive criticism and enjoy!

Disclaimer: Still own nothing. Though I do own Cinder’s unique design used here.

Link to that right here: https://roosterteeth.com/g/post/35478f52-5a58-4ee7-ac67-68267f79697e

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HORROR SECTION AGAIN. YOU KNOW THE RULES.

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-hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

(???)

Ruby opened her eyes and looked around. Wherever she was, it was dark in all directions, the only light coming from her cloak. All she knew was that she was on an unfamiliar cliff-edge with a forest behind her. All under a moonless, starless sky.

Much to her relief, she also had her scythe on her... She slowly stood up, clutching her cloak around her as a cold wind wiped past her. The frigid temperatures made the teenager’s teeth chatter and her whole body shake as she put up her hood.

“Where...am I…?” The red cloaked teenager asked, before noticing...embers. She then felt heat in front of her from beyond the cliff, before a thunderous quake shook the earth beneath her and a volcanic explosion erupted from the abyss. Flames rose forth violently, some reaching a height that rivaled that of the Beacon Tower. Ruby sat down in shock, eyes wide as she witnessed the destruction in front of her.

She then turned and noticed the forest behind her was ENGULFED in flames.

Though that wasn’t the worst of it.

The red cloaked teenager then noticed a feminine figure, with a Grimm-like left eye, arm, and wing, along with a Grimm-like right leg, donning a red and gold dress. She swore the eye was radiating with FIRE. The teenager then saw an all familiar twisted and sadistic grin on the figure’s face, immediately realizing who the figure was. Someone she thought was either killed at Beacon...or arrested.

“CINDER!?” Ruby shouted, her jaw dropping in shock. “HOW!?”

The Fall Maiden grinned, letting out a sinister chuckle, “I think you saw her before...in a nightmare.” The red cloaked teenager raised an eyebrow, before her eyes went wide again, “Salem…” “Bingo….” Cinder smirked. “So you ARE not just some weapon crazed brat who got LUCKY.” The woman then fired a ball of flame from her mouth at the teenager, who only managed to dodge it thanks to her semblance.

“Quit running, runt…” The dressed woman chuckled, stopping the teenager in her tracks as the Maiden fired a beam of heat from her eye in front of Ruby. The teenager screeched to a halt, before deciding she’d have to fight her way out. She pulled out her scythe, before charging at the woman, only for the scythe to be caught by Cinder bare-handedly. Ruby’s eyes widened as she froze, both in shock and horror.

She was then kicked back, letting her weapon go from being caught off guard. After skidding to a halt on her back, the teenager slowly sat up as pain throbbed through her ribs. She then watched as Cinder tightened her hold on the scythe’s blade, crushing and shattering it entirely. “To think I actually FEARED you after Beacon…” The woman said, before grinning. “I must thank Salem for helping me CRUSH that fear!”

The teenager attempted to stand, only to be instantly lifted by her shirt’s collar by Cinder. Ruby could feel the heat radiating from the Fall Maiden. The woman’s hands, mouth, eyes, nose, torso, legs. It was as if Cinder had become a being of pure fire and volcanic energy. The teenager could also feel her heartbeat speeding up in panic. Fear began to take over as the teenager struggled weakly in Cinder’s grasp.

She then looked behind the Fall Maiden, before her eyes widened in horror, causing her struggling to cease.

Behind Cinder were the LIFELESS, BLOODIED, and BURNED bodies...of Yang, Weiss, Blake, Jaune, Pyrrha, Nora, Ren, Oscar, Taiyang, Qrow, Raven, Zwei…

And even Summer.

All hope DRAINED from the teenager, before slowly facing her captor. The Fall Maiden grinned wickedly, “You actually THINK you can SAVE them…” The woman chuckled as tears ran down Ruby’s face. Cinder sighed, “Don’t look so sad. You’ll be joining them soon.” “Think of it as me doing you favor.” The woman sadistically smiled, before summoning a burning scimitar from her magic.

“Relax.” She grinned. “It’ll be over in an INSTANT.” Cinder then shoved the absurdly hot blade into Ruby’s abdomen, causing the teenager to scream in pain...

-hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-

(2:54 AM)

(In the Xiao-Long-Rose Family Home…)

Ruby bolted up with a scream, cold sweat dripping down her face, before she tried to catch her breath. She slowly noticed it was just a freakishly lucid nightmare. She was safe...and in her shared bedroom with Yang. Her roommate’s eyes fluttered open, before groaning. “Ruby? You alright?” Yang asked tiredly. It took a few moments, but the silver eyed teenager nodded slowly, “Y-Yeah… I thi-” She froze as she felt bile in the back of her throat, before bolting to the bathroom.

The blonde teenager immediately went after her in concern, entering the bathroom and holding her younger sister’s hair back as the younger of the two retched into the toilet. After emptying her stomach’s contents, Ruby continued to take deep breaths as Yang helped her wash her face and mouth out. “Sorry…” The silver eyed teenager whispered, her throat and neck sore. Yang gave a reassuring smile, “It’s okay… Do you want to talk about it somewhere privately?”

Ruby stayed silent for a few moments, before suggesting, “Backyard patio?” Her sister nodded, helping the young leader to her feet and quietly heading to the back of the house and outside. The two then sat on the steps, listening to the sounds of nature and looking up at the cloudless sky and the sea of stars. The younger of the two leaned against her big sister and sighed, “So, you remember Cinder?” The blonde raised an eyebrow, “You mean that bitch that tried to get us all killed at Beacon?”

The younger teenager nodded, “Yeah. The same one that tried to kill Pyrrha too.” “She...appeared in the nightmare…” She explained. “She...looked different. Like she wasn’t human anymore.” “Like that Vampier chick?” Yang asked.

Ruby nodded, before shrugging, “Maybe…? Cinder had...a Grimm arm and leg, as well as a wing. She...” The young leader paused, taking deep breaths again, before saying, “She looked like she came out of the pits of Hell.”

“Gods…” The older of the sisters whispered. Ruby nodded, “Yeah…”

The two of them sat in silence, taking in what Ruby had just said. Yang then sighed, “The...one who did this to Blake and I...has been appearing in my nightmares…” The silver eyed teenager grabbed the blonde’s left hand tightly as the blonde continued, “He...would goot me into attacking him… Either by….” “Killing Blake, you, and Weiss…” She explained with hesitation, her own grip on Ruby’s hand tightening. “Or simply threatening you all…”

The younger of the two tightly hugged her sister, before saying, “We need to tell Mom… Maybe…” “Maybe there’s a way we can stop or control our nightmares...or better, stop the ones who attacked us…” She explained. The blonde gave a small nod, returning the hug, “I can work with that…” The two sat like that for almost a minute, before Ruby pulled away and sighed, “I’ve been feeling...so angry with myself lately.”

“Same.” Yang nodded. “Been having dreams of...what could’ve happened differently.” The silver eyed teenager nodded in agreement, before asking, “You wanna go first?” The blonde nodded, before sighing, “So, you know my depression is still lingering, right?” Ruby nodded, raising an eyebrow, “Was it...worse in the dream?” “Oh yeah…” The blonde nodded, giving a halfhearted chuckle.

“It was...bad enough to the point where I...didn’t care about where Blake went…” She said. “I...don’t think she told us where she was going… I even pushed you away instead of asking you for help...” The young leader looked shocked, but for a completely different reason as she said, “Then we’ve...experienced a dream that had us do something that we’d...never do…”

When the blonde raised an eyebrow, Ruby explained, “You know how I left for Mistral with Mom and Uncle Qrow?” “Well, instead of telling any of you, I….left a half-assed note and left in secret.” She said. “I sent letters, but…” The younger teenager sighed, rubbing her eyes, “I...can’t believe that I...would NEVER tell any of you what I was doing…”

“I can’t believe I wouldn’t let any of you help me…” Yang said. “Or what Stepmom said about Mom was true.” The younger teenager raised an eyebrow, “You had a dream about that too?” The blonde nodded with a groan, “Yeah… And it was...pretty bad…” “The conversation went...as terrible as one would assume.” She explained. “Probably ruined whatever chance I had at reconnecting with Mom…”

The two sat in silence, not daring to bring up where Summer was in their dreams. They could only assume that in the dreams, the former STRQ leader...STAYED dead.

“Do you think we should get back to sleep?” Ruby asked, yawning. Yang shrugged, “Only if you think you’ll be able to.” A few more moments of silence passed, before the younger of the two sighed, “Not sure if I can… But I’ll try.” The blonde nodded, helping her sister up to her feet and back inside. Ruby quickly got a drink of water, while Yang got out a note for their dad.

After putting the note in their shared bedroom, the blonde got out a two-person sleeping bag, before placing it on the patio by the door. The younger teenager returned, yawning once more as she and her older sister got in the bag. “Thanks, Yang.” Ruby whispered with a tired smile. Yang chuckled and kissed her sister’s forehead, “You too, little sister. Wake me if you need anything.”

The silver eyed teenager nodded, huddling up next to the blonde, “Same with you. Good night, sis.” “Night, Ruby.” The older of the two smiled, before the two sisters fell asleep. This time, peacefully.

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And that’s it for the first special! I hope you liked the new form I gave Cinder here, as well as her powers.

You can be certain that the form will be made real in the AU in the future.

So, yeah. The nightmare in Arc 3 Side Red III WAS done by Salem. I should’ve mentioned that before, but I’m doing it now.

Now, we TRULY move on to chapter 5 and the second half of Vol 5.

[gibelwho]

Top 5: Nostalgia Movies

This Top 5 is taking a trip down childhood memory lane to choose the best Nostalgia Movies - films that I loved as a kid and continue to love to this day. The film must have been watched multiple times during my youth and continue to be associated with a memory or tradition that was an important marker of growing up. Therefore, any film produced past 2004, when I graduated high school, has not been considered - and, to even make the cut, the film must be associated with more than just constant re-watches in our downstairs rec room (arranged with a HUGE - well, big for the ‘90s - screen with actual surround sound that my dad installed); rather, these films must be an essential part of my childhood progression into adult-hood and laid the groundwork for a future of loving cinema.

Gibelwho Productions Presents Nostalgia Movies:

5. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

4. X-Men

3. The Little Mermaid

2. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

1. Newsies

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986): As my high school career began to wrap up and I was looking ahead to college (where I had already committed to attending film school), my mother informed me of a proclamation - I was not allowed to leave her household without watching Ferris Bueller. Perhaps she knew that she needed to instill a little bit of rule-breaking encouragement into her straight A / type A child before I was to head out into the unruly world of college, but nonetheless, this film left a mark with it’s delightful adventures of Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane. Years later, I attended an LA rooftop screening where the audience all danced during the Twist and Shout parade, bringing me straight back to the joy of discovering this film with my mom. In the same tradition, I will be sure to make my kids watch this film before they leave our household for the wide world so they can learn to cause a little innocent rule-breaking. Save Ferris!

X-Men (2000): I had a secret obsession when I was a kid - I LOVED Marvel Comics. I had read all of my dad’s comic book collection from when he was a kid, I started my own collection, and had even started tracking the value of each issue. But I was a girl, and did not share this particular passion with my fellow elementary school friends (ahhh, the fear of being judged by your peers). So when I entered a movie theater as a freshman in high school (with my secret still intact) to see an X-Men film and the place was PACKED, I couldn’t contain my excitement that maybe, just maybe, more people would be into these characters and storylines. Then, when I went into my summer theatre program and my friends used X-Men characters as improv inspiration, I thought...this is going mainstream! I still didn’t confide my true colors until the MCU began and my college friends discovered that I knew a...lot more about Iron Man’s backstory than should be possible and I was officially outed. So, fully embracing my nerdom, I traveled to San Diego to the sacred ground that was Comic Con, truly cementing my love of Marvel. And now the rest of the world has caught up to why these characters are so special. That first inkling of a wider world loving what I loved started when I watched X-Men in theaters - seeing my heroes on the big screen, fighting their super villains, and the packed crowd around me was digging it!

The Little Mermaid (1989): One of my earliest memories of opening presents was from my 6th birthday, sitting in the living room and ripping open the wrapping paper to discover the VHS for The Little Mermaid - a film I had seen at school and LOVED - and now it was mine to watch at any time! Truly a special Disney moment, which is also matched with many other memories of Disney animated films (the momentous opening to Lion King and the cut to black that took my breath away in the theater, playing the Mulan soundtrack on cassette over and over singing Reflection, and identifying with Belle’s obsession with reading). I was very much the target audience for the Disney Renaissance, and I ate up all the music, the (slightly) stronger portrayal of women, and our VHS collection only grew to include all of these modern classics. The Little Mermaid kicked off a golden age for Disney Animation and little Katie grew up on the Alan Menken soundtrack.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989): Our family had three fancy VHS boxed sets for three different franchises and we watched these flicks on repeat - Star Trek movies (TOS with Kirk and Spock), the Star Wars trilogy, and the Indiana Jones films. Literally any one of the movies from these collections could make this slot, but since both of the Star franchises have already gotten love in these Top 5 lists, I’m going to pick representation from our resident archaeological professor / international adventurer. My favorite of the bunch is the third - from the thrilling opening of young Indy, to the dynamic between father and son, and the epic ending of selecting the correct Grail (“you have chosen...wisely”). Watching any one of these films is just comfort food for my soul, taking me back to the family settling in to watch in our downstairs rec room, setting the foundation for the nerdom that my parents instilled into me at a young age and that has continued to guide my interests and movie-watching to this day.

Newsies (1992): Growing up, my family had Friday movie nights, where we ordered from the Pizza Hut that was right next to a Blockbuster; my brother and I were allowed to each choose a movie to rent for the weekend. I went through a phase where I just rented Newsies on repeat. It was as though this film was made just for me - a musical, set in a historical time period, with cute boys singing and dancing, music by the magical Alan Menken - what is not to love?!? I was so obsessed with this movie that in the pre-Internet age, I wrote down the lyrics by meticulously listening, pausing, writing down, rewinding, and repeating - which was an onerous process when one was working with manual VHS tapes. I eventually got a copy of my own, the DVD when it came out, the CD of the soundtrack, and also the piano sheet music. I knew all the lines to the songs, and could probably to this day quote the majority of the movie. Years later, imagine my delight when Disney produced a Broadway musical of the movie - we took a special trip to New York on my birthday to see the show (which of course, doesn’t match up to my love for the film, the true effect of a nostalgic love for a piece of your childhood). Living in LA affords us the opportunity for magical movie-going experiences, and my husband and I scored tickets to a special showing of Newsies at the Disney El Capitan theater - and then the traveling Broadway company of Newsies the musical that was in town and performing just up the street at the Pantages theater made an appearance and performed for the audience after the movie wrapped. This film has held a special place in my heart and is the epitome of nostalgia love for a movie from childhood.

Honorable Mentions:

The Music Man (1962): The two music genres we listened to growing up were 90s country (Garth, Reba, Trisha, Wynonna!) and also musicals. Our family was very much into theater and starting at the age of twelve, I started acting in musicals at our local performing arts program for youths. Our family also watched many of the classic musicals that were filmed in the 1950s and 60s, such as Hello, Dolly, Oklahoma, and Music Man. This last film stands in as a proxy for all those classics, but was also selected in particular because I performed in a production during a summer in junior high, where I was in the background chorus (and featured in the Wells Fargo song!). The music and lyrics of this story, written by Meredith Wilson, are of such cleverness and variety - from the 4-part harmony barbershop quartet to the love song ballads, the pre-hip hop rhythmic talking song to the genius opening number of the salesmen on the train. The translation to film is serviceable and very much in the style of the musicals brought from stage to screen in the 1960s - nothing too clever and some blocking that sought to recreate a theater stage on the film set, but these series of musical films cemented my love for the genre in an accessible way just as I was starting myself to perform on stage.

Jurassic Park (1993): Oh, the raptor in the kitchen stalking the two kids stills brings me chills thinking about it. Watching that scene as a kid, I (more than once) fled the room because it was so scary! This film had it all - creepy dinosaurs, a smart teenage girl and an even smarter heroine that was a scientist, great music (whose theme I diligently learned how to play on the piano), and plenty of action! My family definitely had this on repeat in the VHS player, but I loved the movie so much that I ended up reading Michael Crichton’s novel to experience the source material - and became more aware of how a film is an adaption of a novel’s storytelling, translating from the page to the screen. I do fall in favor of reading the novel before seeing the movie, but if a film helps you discover an incredible book, it can be like diving into an extension of the world beyond what the screen can fit.