#me? doing Too Much? being Extra(TM) over Nothing? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yeehawbvby · 1 year ago

Text

Falling Away With You | Ch. 44*

Sebastian x F!Reader and M. Rasmodius x F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: Magnus... prepares you for your date.. I guess.

Author’s Note: WE’RE BACK BABYYYYYY

Thanks so much to everyone for being so patient during my hiatus!! I definitely needed some time to just slow down a bit (and to reiterate from my recent update, things still will be slow! But the time off was nice), and I really appreciate the kindness and support in that decision :3 It means so much to me, I wish I could better express it to y’all.

I hope that this is a good chapter for jumping back into things! I did my best to recap the past few chapters a little bit for those of you who need a small refresher, as well as incorporate a small time skip (like, 2 weeks tops).

If you're not into that, I hope the smut makes up for it <3

As always, I hope you enjoy, and I’d love to hear your thoughts! x Also, please see the comments for another author's note once you finish reading this chapter ^^

Table of Contents + Work Summary

Check it out on ao3!

Prev (if you want to skip my Author Updates(tm), go straight to chapter 40!) | Next

Seb had first seen magic as something spooky and surreal. Nothing more than a new and weird thing that fuzzied up the lines between the fiction he took comfort in, and the burdens of reality. It was a completely understandable take for him to have felt that way, and I had been surprised that he was so chill about introducing it back into his life through me!

That said, I thought he’d still keep it to a minimum.

But!!!

Ever since our visit to Magnus a few weeks ago — again, a visit that held the intention of Seb merely becoming a little reacquainted with the arcane, as we’d both expected him to keep his involvement small — learning magic has morphed into a bit of a passion project for him. A means to become as badass as his magic-wielding OCs and shit. It’s rad as hell. Kinda hot too. I dunno what it is about magic, but it does things to me, dude.

When Seb isn’t programming, and we aren’t spending time alone together, he’s now enthusiastically re-familiarizing himself with his rusty arcane skill set as well as indulging in some new knowledge. And likewise, when I’m not farming, taking care of Cannoli, or spending time with either of my partners alone, I’m honing my rapidly-increasing skills as a mage.

The necklace Welwick gave me has been working wonders for my abilities. Like, I now have that sixth-sense Magnus vaguely talks about from time-to-time, for when something magical is nearby. That could just be a result of my growth as a mage in general, but I think it’s more fun to imagine this little trinket siphoning a bunch of cool shit into me.

Also, clairvoyance doesn’t come to me so randomly anymore, aside from the occasional flash of something in my head! It’s getting a bit easier to tell the difference between dreams and a distant reality during my sleep, too. Similarly to… well, fucking everything else related to magic, I guess, it’s sort of a gut-feeling above all else.

This nifty little thing has also allowed me to practice my psychicism in the way that Magnus always had to resort to. For him to predict the future, he must conduct a spell and perform a weird ritual of sorts. He saves it for when things feel “off,” like when I moved to Pelican town… and for when he gets eager, and wants to know something right then and there. Like when he predicted when I’d be coming over to drink that nasty-ass potion that all but confirmed I’m a mage.

The process requires copious amounts of mana – another reason why he so rarely does it. But because of the extra help from my necklace, as well as my seemingly natural talent as an oracle that I’m assuming Grandpa passed down to me in some way, it doesn’t drain me nearly as much as other spellcasters of my skill level. Even Magnus and Camilla seem to get a bit more nauseated by the process than I do.

Throughout all this, all things romantic have been settling in too; things have gotten much more cozy. At the start of this journey in a polycule of sorts, the concept of openly loving two people in the same room was nothing short of intimidating. Now, it’s as natural as breathing. And while I wouldn’t say it seems like Seb and Magnus are becoming intimate with one another, they’ve definitely been spending more time alone, which makes me happy. Reassures me a bit as well. It’s a nice reminder that I’m not some sort of… I dunno. A selfish hussy. Or something. This concept still feels novel to me in some ways.

Both of my lovers are vague about what happens during their one-on-one meetings. Can’t tell if something’s going on, or if they just know the concept intrigues me, and they agreed to fuck with me a bit. Y’know, get my imagination going, for funsies. I mean, Seb’s crush on the older wizard is still as strong as ever, so I’m secretly hoping that they’re preparing to do some canoodling of their own.

I wish I knew what was going on in those pretty heads of theirs… seems as though mind-reading just isn’t gonna be a thing for me.

Whatever. I’m not bitter.

(Yes I am.)

Speaking of canoodling – I’m headed to Magnus’ place in a few minutes. It’ll be the first time we’ve been alone together in our past few meetings, since Seb can’t make it until later. The poor, emo cave goblin was up working until early this morning. Magnus apparently wants to take me somewhere new today, so it kinda works out, I guess!

After my usual morning routine of farming (the pumpkins feel like they’re taking forever to grow in, but they’re almost there!) and eating, I quickly showered, dried my hair, tossed on some light makeup, and dressed myself. I went for an almost-ankle length, dark and rusty orange, pleated skirt; a cozy and thick, cream-colored, mock neck sweater; and a big, olive-green ribbon to thread around my half-up hairdo. It’s getting to the point in autumn where it basically feels like winter, so I should be safe from sweating too much in all this.

Once I’ve grabbed my satchel and a jacket to complete the look, I make my way outside. The first thing I do upon exiting the building is remember that I haven’t checked the mail yet. I probably should, just in case Magnus or Lewis have anything important for me… ugh.

Unable to resist, I go out of my way a bit first, stomping on some leaves that have blown over from all the trees surrounding my land. Cannoli, who has been outside most of the morning, runs over to join in. I scoop him up with an evil chuckle while he’s distracted.

“Gotcha, punk.”

He meows at me, seemingly pissed, but then purrs after I pat a few smooches onto his head. I hold the little fella in both arms as I open my mailbox with outstretched fingertips. I grab its contents, nudge it shut with my elbow, and sit on the stoop to read what I’ve gotten, with Cannoli staying put in my lap.

“One from Lewis…” I rip it open. “S’just about Spirit’s Eve, nothing major,” I mumble to myself as I shuffle through the envelopes. “Some Joja shit… gross.” I scoff and tear that one in half as Cannoli abandons me, giving me some more space to work with.

The next letter is in a bright blue envelope with deep purple stars outlining it, each twinkling as though electrically or magically lit. I would normally assume based on the fancy casing that this is from Magnus, but it isn’t labeled, which tells me otherwise. I don’t really sense anything, y’know, magicky about it either. Weird.

I stand up and go inside, tossing the Joja ads in the trash and before plopping the rest of my mail onto the table. I sit down and cautiously open the blue one, not wanting to damage the pretty stationary too much. Now that it’s in my hand on its own, I can feel that there’s something other than writing inside of it.

The paper itself is blue, this one lighter and more vivid than the envelope. The ink is a deep indigo and the words look like they were written with a sparkly gel pen. And beneath it all is a tiny, gold-painted walnut, still in its shell.

That doesn’t seem very safe to eat. I toss it across the room to the small waste bin between my bedside table and the door, hoping I make the shot. It lands in with a satisfying plink.

Alex Mullner could never ball like this. He’d weep – no, he’d propose – had he seen such skill!

…Gross. I don’t want that.

After shimmying that thought away, I turn back to the azure note. It reads:

“We can do great things, you and I.

Forage a rainbow shell and leave it in the train station Lost and Found box if you’re interested. I’ll make it worth your while.

I’m counting on you, kid.”

It’s not even signed by anyone… This is ominous as hell. Part of me wants to ignore it, but I’m also kinda scared not to, y’know? What if something bad happens if I don’t comply or find a way to respond? I mean, this person knows where I live, and is likely keeping things anonymous for a reason.

Or… it could be some sorta creepy jape by Sam or something, and I’m overthinking as per usual.

I’ll think about that more later… for now, I just wanna get to my purple-haired boyfriend.

I shuffle through the rest of the mail once more to double check that nothing is too urgent before heading back outside.

_______________

“Oy,” I call out as I enter Magnus’ tower, immediately turning my gaze toward the coat rack instead of looking for him. “Where—“ As I adjust my line of sight, I find Magnus just a few feet away, a cheeky glare on his face directed towards me as he waters his houseplants. “Oh.” I blush, embarrassed by how annoying my loud intrusion was. “Hi.”

Magnus doesn’t seem to mind. He chuckles, places down his watering can, and strides over to greet me. “Good morning, my heart.”

That pet name never fails to get me all tingly, oh my goodness.

Before I can tippy-toe to indicate that I wanna kiss him, he’s already bending down to my level and scooping my face into his hands. I match the action, cupping his rosy cheeks. Unexpectedly, Magnus kisses me hard, causing me to stumble back against the door.

“Mmf!” I squeak into the kiss before meeting his intensity. Makes him smile.

He doesn’t show any signs of wanting to stop, our teeth tapping together a bit as he continues to intertwine our lips and tongues while we find a compatible rhythm. Releasing a palm from my cheek, Magnus grips the door frame behind me before dragging his opposing palm further from my face, weaving his fingers in the hair near my nape. The action prompts a dreamy hum from me.

Yoba. I want him.

As the wizard begins to kiss down my jaw and onto what little neck I have showing, I breathily murmur, “What about those plans you had for us?”

“You needn’t worry about that,” he mumbles against my earlobe, taking his hand away from my hair to lower the collar of my sweater. “We have plenty of time.”

He eagerly dives back down, leaving light kisses and love bites on my neck. My hands weave into his amethyst tresses as I giggle. The sound comes out airy; in contrast, a syrupy laugh escapes Magnus and vibrates against my skin.

“Mag–” A harder suck that’ll definitely leave a darker mark just below my jaw cuts me off. “Ah~”

Smirking against my skin, Magnus prompts, “Go on.”

God, he sounds so smug. It’s so sexy. I subtly shake my head and roll my eyes, a smile never leaving my face. “Nevermind,” I whisper, bringing his mouth back to mine.

Magnus lifts me up in one swift motion as he accepts my affection, carrying me away from the entrance bridal-style. I open one of my eyes to take a peek at where we’re going. As I do so, he pulls away to watch his step while we descend to the basement.

“What’re we doing down here?” I ask, knowing this could go one of two ways:

Either Magnus is teasing the shit out of me, and he’s taking me to his hall of portals so we can go… wherever; or, he simply decided he wanted to get frisky somewhere other than his bedroom.

“You’re a smart girl,” he answers as he nudges the door open with his foot. His irises are like rubies. “I’m sure you’ve pieced it together already.”

“Maybe I just want some confirmation.”

“Maybe you need to practice patience, my dear,” Magnus teases back.

“Maybe I’m just not a patient person, my dear.” Hm… feels weird to call him something other than Magnus or wizard. I don’t hate it, though.

I drown the tinglies in my tummy by hoisting myself a bit higher with the help of Magnus’ sturdy shoulders, leaving a few open-mouthed kisses on his neck. The action prompts goosebumps across his skin.

“Heheh–” I begin to evilly laugh at his reaction, but Magnus releases me from his grip, scaring the everliving shit out of me. “Ack!” He catches me mid-air using magic, allowing me to settle myself down without getting hurt. I glare at him the entire time, pretending my heart isn’t beating a bajillion times per minute. “That wasn’t nice,” I chirp with my brows furrowed, barely above a whisper.

It’s Magnus’ turn for a menacing chuckle as he leads me to the couch where I usually do my studies; the one closest to the western wall of the room.

“I thought you would enjoy the thrill.”

“Clearly you know nothing about me, wiz.”

Magnus’ eyes — which had shifted to their natural maroon again by the end of our short journey — are crimson once more. As we slow to a halt in front of the sofa, the absolute skyscraper of a man cages me in, his hands clutching the purple back piece of the furniture and forcing me to stumble into a sitting position. Wide-eyed and with heat creeping between my thighs, I lean back and look up at my partner.

Then, a sadistic, almost lazy grin creeps across his features while he leans down, moving his hands to grip my sides once his previous stance probably grew uncomfy. He’s almost entirely crouching to level with me.

“I know more than you realize,” he points out. Ominous.

I fidget with my long sleeves as Magnus’ lips draw closer to my ear, his breath on my neck and face sending a shiver down my spine.

His hands slide lower while he kisses just below my earlobe, before continuing, “How many people out there, at this very moment, can say they know precisely what makes you squirm?” His voice is low and gravelly, and he punctuates his sentence by squeezing my hips hard, pulling a sigh from me. Proving his point with ease.

This prick actually waits a moment for me to answer his question, his head still hovering closely next to mine. “Well?”

It takes me a sec to register any form of language until I blink out of my horny fog and respond, “I mean… not many, I guess.” My brain has kinda just blocked out any sexual partners I had prior to Seb and Magnus, given none of them could hold a candle to these men.

The elemental grows quieter as he proceeds, “Alright. And how many can claim they’ve known you far prior to your present lifetime?” His hands drag off my hips, now resting on the red velvet cushions.

The cockiness, greediness, and complete possessiveness of his follow-up makes me shudder. Has me choking back embarrassing sounds and stuff. Makes it hard to speak.

“J-just you.”

“Veeery good.” Yoba, so much praise… my poor kinky heart can’t take this. “In that case–” Magnus brings his face to my view, and manually tilts my head by the chin. After drawing closer, he whispers against my quivering lips, “I’d say on the basis of those two factors alone that I know you better than most, wouldn’t you agree?”

I inhale shakily. He grins knowingly. “Yes…” I could barely hear my own voice. It’s as if Magnus has me under a spell… but he doesn’t this time. He’s just that captivating.

Mirroring my volume – fucking tease – he lilts, “Good girl.” Then, he pulls away, leaving me yearning for more kisses.

Fuck.

Standing upright, he puts out his palm for me to take. My head feels swimmy as I oblige without question, and he replaces my spot, urging me to try to straddle him. Doesn’t work. Skirt’s too long.

“Um… hold on…”

I get up from the half-kneeling position I was in and simply remove the skirt altogether. Magnus chuckles as I struggle to find more words, feeling the hot redness of my cheeks spread down my neck. Why do I feel so shy right now?

Beaming with his brows raised, he claims, “How bold of you.”

“What else was I gonna do?” I quip. It came out meeker than I’d wanted it to, but Magnus pays no mind to that.

He shrugs, taking both my hands in his as I settle back onto his lap. His erection is apparent now that I’m sitting on it. Mmmmm.

“I merely assumed you would roll up the fabric.”

I close my eyes and lean forward further to rest in defeat against his silk, navy button-down, before copying his shrug. He has a good point.

Magnus, sensing my unease, exhales jovially through his nose, before reassuring me, “Worry not, dear.” After unweaving our fingers, he wraps his arms around my waist. “Your haste is more than welcome.”

I grip the fabric of his shirt in both fists and groan into it. “T’still embarrassing though…” I complain, my voice muffled by the fabric.

Magnus moves his hands, now cupping my ass in each one. “Let me shift your mind away from that, then,” he purrs above my ear.

I tilt my head so that my face isn’t being consumed by his chest anymore. “How the fuck are you so smooth?”

“I don’t necessarily mean to be.”

It makes sense, I guess. He’s been around for a thousand – or two, or whatever it is – years. He’s had more than enough practice. “Of course not…”

I sigh. Then, I slip just under his face, leaving featherlight pecks along his jawline. He giggles a bit. “That tickles…”

“Yeah?”

My instinctive laughter comes out menacing and gremlin-like. I attack him with more little kisses, paired with ten wiggly fingers against his sides. And oh boy, I’ve never heard such high pitched or loud noises come from this man.

“C-cease yourself!”

“Never!” I proclaim, nearly cackling at this point. I’ve never seen him laugh this hard, and god, it’s fucking adorable.

I keep myself planted atop him and do my best to dodge his swats towards me as he lays himself down, keeling over. Magnus lets out a snort that puts down my guard for a moment, and before I know it, he’s finally grappling my wrists, taking claim of them on either side of his face. The action pulls me down, bumping my forehead into his.

Magnus winces while I let out a quick and half-assed “Ouch!” before laughing a little more. I rest my face in the crevice between his head and our arms to recuperate. I gotta breathe oh my god and my abs hurt.

When I come back up, Magnus is giving me sort of a funny look. Like, he’s still blushing (eyes included) and smiling, but I feel like I’ve never seen this exact expression before.

“What?”

His lips curl up further before shaking his head slightly and answering, “I… your laughter is so beautiful.” My eyes widen a little, as does my smile. “I love you so much. Come here.”

As the words leave his mouth and before I have a chance to verbally return the sentiment, he’s removing his hold on my wrists and tugging me into a deep, slow, and much more passionate kiss than the almost-feral ones we shared upstairs. It still leaves my tummy fluttering and my heart racing just as hastily.

Once we grow a little more heated, I find myself accidentally grinding against Magnus’ arousal a bit; and once Magnus realizes it as well, his hands find refuge on my butt again, aiding my movements.

Sucks how that weird potion I drank to become a mage made me more athletic and cardiovascularly healthy, but it didn’t actually fix any of my joint issues. Even just this gentle rocking with my legs spread out this wide is making my hips cramp up a bit.

“Sore?” My partner murmurs into the kiss.

“How’d you know?”

“T’was a gut feeling.”

“That sure is a fancy way of saying you were in my head again.”

“Damn.” He breaks, an amused huff escaping him. “I almost fooled you.”

I sit up and very lightly punch his chest a few times. Asserting my dominance, for sure.

After a few hits, I glare down at him, palms pressed against his chest. Magnus glares up at me, thumbs tracing small circles against my sides. He scans my body as he gnaws his lower lip.

This is hot.

He eventually speaks up, his orbs red as can be. “Are you finished throwing your little tantrum?” His usually sweet tone was replaced by something still honeyed, but more gravelly and domineering.

That was hotter. Fuck.

I swallow thickly and nod, subconsciously stimming with one of the lower buttons on his top. “Yeah.”

His eyes drink in my body again. “Perfect.” Next, Magnus tugs me by my hips, giving me a little lift to bypass his arms as he all but plants me on his fucking face.

“What are you–” He cuts me off with a bite to my inner thigh. A heady sigh leaves me.

With his pupils blown wide, he suggests, “This is surely easier on your hips given how much less you need to stretch them, no?”

“I-I guess.” I hide the lower half of my face in some of my hair. I feel so vulnerable. In a good way, but still. I don’t think I’ve ever ridden someone’s face before. I voice this concern into his brain, too timid to say it out loud.

Magnus repositions our forms slightly, giving his neck more comfort as he lets his head lay down flat against the cushion, with a little room to spare between his scalp and the arm of the sofa. I peer back at his legs. His left is dangling off the opposite end of the couch and probably bumping into the bookshelf a bit, while the right is planted on the floor beneath us.

“Would you like to try?” The wizard finally asks as I bring my gaze back to his.

I take a sec to contemplate it. On one hand, I feel weird being so exposed. On the other… How is this really any different from being eaten out while I’m laying down? Some fingers of my left hand are twirling a soft strand of Magnus’ hair. Those on my right are still tangled in my own (h/c) tresses, which continue giving my mouth and chin some privacy.

Despite the need to stim out my nerves, I still nod my answer to him.

After being given the OK, Magnus begins to softly kiss my inner thigh. In between, he orders, “If you want to stop, let me know.”

“‘Kay,” I smile.

Gently, Magnus tugs my panties to the side and lowers me down. After a single, lingering kiss to my lower lips that’s already got my head feeling funny, he spreads me open and licks a gentle, pointed-tongued circle around my bud. I’m instantly turned to putty, it’s a little embarrassing actually. The small grip that I had on his hair tightens, and I rock slightly into Magnus’ proud hum, accidentally throwing him off-track. I shyly meet his view to apologize to him, but before I can say a word, he’s finding a better spot for his tongue.

“Fuck,” I moan, my eyes fluttering shut.

My fingers drop my hair and move to my mock-neck, using that to fidget instead. This feels so fucking good, but my anxieties over the positioning still haven’t died down yet.

I abandon the clutch I had on the wizard’s hair and rest my hand on the arm of the couch behind his crown. With the way his nails are threatening to dig into the curves of my hips, I have just enough leverage to let him lick how he wants to while moving myself accordingly.

The slight change in position startles him, I think — he telepathically checks in with me, “Are you doing alright?”

“Yes, Magnus~” I verbally respond. The way he growls at my enthusiastic reply sends a palpable wave of excitement through me.

With each swipe of Magnus’ tongue, I lose myself further. My hips grind with more confidence, and my sweater-filled hand starts drawing downward on its own, now leaving only my chin beneath my collar. I curse under my breath while he adds some more pressure, and let out a startlingly loud mewl as he repositions his left hand to nearly meet his lips, sliding two long digits inside of me. That can’t be comfortable for him by any means with the way his arm is contorting, but I’ll be lying if I try to claim that it doesn’t feel fucking incredible.

“Holy shit,” I cry.

He moans against my clit. It sends a vibration through me, and I moan as I lower myself a little more, pushing his fingers deeper inside of myself. Is this what people who are able to ride dick feel like?!

“F-fuh–”

“Is it too much?” he nonverbally inquires.

“N-noh god, I love you, y-you’re perfect, Iloveyou.” Each word proves to be more of a struggle to get out as I feel myself beginning to peak. He chuckles beneath me, adding fuel to the fire. “God, Mag~”

I can’t physically move any faster – again, bad joints and all that jazz. He’s the captain now. There’s a subtle pounding in my ears, and I can’t tell if it’s my adrenaline, or blood flow, or whatever, or if it’s something else outside of myself entirely. I pay no mind to it, not caring what’s happening around me. Too fucked-out.

“So close,” I breathe. “Please, I–”

“Wait juuust a little longer, sweetheart.”

I whine in frustration. “W-why?” I ask, just barely above a whisper, looking down while complying by slowing myself to a halt. His eyes crinkle, indicating that he’s smiling, while continuing to lick my pussy and probe in and out of my cunt.

He doesn’t give me an answer.

“Oh, wow.”

Seb does?!

Well, kinda.

I yelp, head bolting up and left towards the source. Standing near the entrance to this room is fucking Sebastian, his dark indigo eyes darker with want, and his grin just as shit-eating as ever.

Magnus still hasn’t stopped.

I look back and forth between Seb and Magnus a few times, my mind racing and chest heaving and throat dry as I can’t verbalize any of the confused thoughts that I’m having amidst what’s happening all around me.

Seb is slowly drawing closer to us. Magnus is working me even harder, as if he’s trying to pry my orgasm out of me now of all times. He can’t curl his fingers much from this position, but he can sure as hell fuck me with ‘em. I try to steady the slight bounce each thrust of his digits causes to no avail.

…Yoba above, did they fucking plan this?!

Magnus coaxes a moan out of me, but my eyes stay trained on Seb. His grin widens and a soft chuckle emits from him as he listens and watches in on the action.

When Seb reaches the couch, he places a palm on the armrest before leaning forward to almost match my height. He then removes my hand from its hold on my sweater and takes my newly-exposed chin between his thumb and forefinger. In turn, I instinctively grasp his wrist, probably squeezing him a lil’ too hard while I try to prolong my pleasure as per Magnus’ orders.

“You said you were close, yeah?” Seb asks.

“Y-yeah,” It comes out whiney, and Magnus picks up his pace. “Fuck.”

My eyes threaten to close, but I keep them locked into Seb’s. I don’t miss the way his view trails down to my tits, clearly a little enthralled by their slight jiggling underneath my sweater. My prior concern morphs into a breathy laugh. I look down to the wizard, and he’s still focused on my face. Reading my every reaction with those sparkly, red eyes. God.

“Please Magnus, I—“

Seb’s grip on my chin strengthens, pulling my view back to meet his. “You wanna cum, yeah?”

“Yes, please, Seb~” Yoba, I sound so desperate. I don’t care anymore though.

“Be a dear and cum for him, then.”

This is so absurd.

Not in a bad way, by any means, but just… holy shit I wasn’t expecting this.

Near-immediately after Seb’s command, I clench around Magnus’ digits, grinding against his taste buds and urging him further inside of me. Probably smooshing his face a little bit with my thighs too. Sorry, dude.

Between his hasty pokes and the delicious alternation between licking and sucking, my high hits me like a fucking train. It makes me feel a bit lightheaded until Seb catches my lips with his own to ground me.

After however many otherworldly seconds of whining against Seb’s tongue and probably suffocating poor Magnus, the feeling simmers away. Once he senses I’ve settled down a bit, Magnus repeats his earlier motion in the opposite direction — he softly repositions me away from his face and nearer to his lap, before wiping my excess wetness from his features.

Neither of them say anything. I look between the two of them, who are approvingly peering between each other and myself.

When I find my voice again, I speak up. “So, like, what the fuck—”

“Before you ask,” Seb starts, “this was mostly coincidental.”

I furrow my brows. “What?”

Magnus sits upright, and just when I’m about to shift some more to give him some room, he scoops me up and repositions himself so that his spine is against the back of the couch while my legs are draped across his lap. I cross my arms and lean my shoulder and head against his chest, waiting for more of an explanation.

“He requested to borrow a book to assist him in falling asleep,” Magnus informs me.

Seb cuts in to add with a slight hand-raise, “Drank too much coffee overnight and figured my own books at home might just distract me too much.”

I nod subtly. “When did this happen?” I ask them both.

“When I got here,” Seb claims, “ready to just steal one anyway.”

Seb and Magnus share a cheeky glare with one another. Seb’s is paired with a menacingly goofy smile. He then wraps around the front of the furniture so that he can sit next to Magnus and behind me. I crane my head so that I’m able to see him, albeit upside-down.

Sebby continues on, while taking advantage of the angle of my throat to murmur against it. “But when I heard those pretty sounds of yours…” he trails off, planting an open-mouthed kiss against my goose-bumping skin. He knows I’ve gotten the gist of it by now.

This lil perv definitely asked Magnus outright if he could come down here to see me in action.

“I hope it hasn’t made you uncomfortable,” Magnus chimes in.

“No, I mean, it was surprising, but like…” I sigh, laying down, my upper body now splayed across Seb’s while my lower body remains on Magnus. I can’t bring myself to meet their eyes as I softly admit, “It was… god that was so cool.”

Both of them chuckle, Magnus squeezing my thigh as Seb scruffs up my hair a bit. I do my best to flatten it back into place, then direct my attention towards the wizard, lazily pointing at him once a thought pops into my head.

“I’ve got a question for you.”

He cocks his head slightly. “What is good?”

God, he’s trying so hard to be ~hip.~ He’s so cute. I do my best not to laugh at him.

“Are you straight?”

“I doubt it.”

He seems to ponder the question further for a moment while I give Seb a sneaky thumbs up. As if to tell him, without a single word shared, “Maybe you have a chance with him too!” Seb rolls his eyes and nudges my hand away, a playful smirk on his face.

I draw my eyes back to Magnus once he continues, “I’ve predominantly had women as partners for as far back as I can recollect, but it’s not as though I’m opposed to relations with other genders.” I glimpse at Seb, unable to hide my mischievous grin. I could never be an actor. “Why do you ask?”

“Eh, just curious.”

“That devilish smile you’re wearing tells me something else.”

Damn, he saw right through me. Who woulda thunk it?

I completely dodge him.

“Don’t worry about it.” I pair the phrase with some finger guns.

“So,” Seb diverts the conversation, “would you mind if I just crash on a couch? That way I don’t have to worry about making the trip back here later.”

“Go right ahead,” Magnus smiles warmly at him. Then, he turns his attention to me. “Are you ready to go?”

I look down at my form. I’m still skirtless, and I’m probably fucking sopping given what just happened. Plus, there’s spit down there too now. Gross.

“Uh. Lemme clean up real quick.” I shakily crawl off my partners and gather my skirt in my arms. “Should I meet you back down here, or..?”

Magnus shakes his head before answering verbally, “I’ll follow you in a moment.”

“You got it.” I turn to Seb, scurrying over to give him a kiss. “See you later, nerd.”

“Yeah whatever.” Rolling his eyes and laughing, Seb pulls me back down with one finger hooked into my collar. After a soft peck, he says, “Love you. Have fun with the geezer.”

Magnus leers over at Seb. “Quiet, child.”

I snort at the exchange. “Love ya too, Sebby.” I part with a two-fingered salute before making my way upstairs.

36 notes · View notes

allthejoeks · 2 years ago

Text

RWBY Chibi-esque antics I want out of Volume 10:

Ren, Nora, and Oscar having to navigate the emotions of 'Holy shit, our leader is back and alive, which is so great, but now he has even more trauma so we need to be extra good to him.' with the fact that he's now planning their daily schedules down to the minute and they need it to stop.

As RWBY's doing the rounds of introductions to all the important people, since they're the face of this whole thing, Yang introduces Ruby as 'our homophobic leader' every time.

Finally, they meet the Belladonnas, and Ruby just WON'T stop with horrifying and embarrassing stories. At one point, Yang drags her into another room, begging her to cut it out, and Ruby shrugs her shoulders. "I dunno, Yang, seems like it'd be out of character for a homophobe like me to let this go smoothly."

While the sisters are having an increasingly loud brawl in the other room. Blake's having an actual heartfelt conversation with her parents. Her dad admits that Yang still has made a better first impression that Sun did. A chair flies through the wall. "Barely."

Bumbleby showing off to the rest of their friends, we get ecstatic Nora, so on and so on, and Illia cracks an innocent joke about how she's cool with it only if she gets to be Blake's maid of honor, and Weiss, slightly less innocently and much less jokingly says, 'Obviously I'M going to be Blake's maid of honor." Which begins a season-long running gag of them trying to out-friend each other. Usually Illia wins these bouts because as everyone discovers, the magic words to make Weiss go away are 'Ruby seems lonely today, don't you think?'

A complete reversal of White Rose's dynamic. Ruby's trying to do important leader stuff a lot of the time, so Weiss (still a bit nervous from V9 Ruby) is trying to be the nonsensical bubbly one to take her mind off things. "Ruby, paperwork is such a drag, right? How about we *checks her Scroll* go... skiing with friends?" "In Vacuo." "We've done stranger!"

The Schnees, still trying to wriggle their way out of dysfunction junction, start thinking of Ruby as some sort of guru. Winter's partially jealous that Ruby's getting all of Weiss' attention, and they all wish to learn her secrets to having healthy family dynamics. She gets invited to dinner with them a lot. It is rarely fun.

Eventually Qrow starts inviting himself too just to piss off Winter, but he unironically hits it off with Willow as they bond over being recovering alcoholics and trying to be better family people. Which leads Winter into going absolutely insane trying to ensure that Qrow isn't sleeping with her mom.

There's a side plot the entire season where RWBY is trying to convince a local crime lord with a dedicated and loyal crime family to ally with them instead of Tyrian, and she's more than happy to, being dead is bad for business after all, but for some inexplicable reason Ruby just pisses her off, and the two remain cagey the entire season. Eventually, after Bonding(TM), she admits she loves lacey and colorful things, but it's just a little too girly for Vacuo's underground, and Ruby, finally connecting the dots, weakly suggests, "What about a parasol? Nothing wrong with keeping the sun off you." and the crime lord does a total 180, happy to work with Ruby and her great ideas while Ruby has a crisis of faith.

#rwby #rwby chibi #rwby9 spoilers #rwby spoilers #bumbleby

68 notes · View notes

typekiku · 1 year ago

Text

thoughts on TYPE MOON stuff

well these are my the type moon stuff i have read or watched or whatever so far. this is my opinion only so its inherently correct argue with the wall or touch grass as the youth say SO here it goes drum roll

FATE EXTRA

boring as shit. no joke im sorry its just booty cheeks but of the not sexy kind. its beyond mid its so mid i cant even act like i enjoyed it. it has an interesting concept and world sure but everything else is doo doo butter.

only good part is nero being hot asf and ig whatever servant there is because i only used nero (lmao i aint playing it all over again) she was funny at times

see shes hilarious at times... im sure CCC will change my mind... right? it has sakura what am i saying its PEAK

also fuck them for including arcueid in this crap

GARDEN OF SINNERS

i honestly dont have much to say about this one it never really clicked with me nor did i ever feel anything about it... BESIDES TOUKO

TOUKO IS SO HOT OMG

clears throat

that aside yea i genuinely dont have any opinion on this series of movies good or bad besides movies 3 and 5 which were my favorites

maybe i need to rewatch em one day and really try to get into it

FATE STRANGE FAKE

my favorite spin off in the whole fate franchise. it has some of my absolute favorite characters and GIL like what else would one even want in life amirite

some of my favorites are:

Richard: the absolute goat and one of my fav servants ever

Enkidu: i want a spinoff of gil and enkidu... is that so hard to ask??

Flat: my son

Jack: my uhhh child ig

alcides: the closest we will get to archer herc but just pure cool regardless

hansa: cyborg priest. nothing gets cooler then that

and many more im already too ti- FILIA - red to mention

i've only read up to volume 7 so i gotta get to reading the rest soon

its just pure chaos and is fun while doing so despite being slow as shit

FATE GRAND ORDER

ok this is the most complicated series here in a way since its so incredibly mixed.

there are some of the highest peaks in fate and then some of the lowest lows so lets see

Highest peaks:

babylonia

Camelot

lb5 (YES olympus and atlantis im tired of acting like olympus isnt peak NO heian kyo its mid)

LB6

the rest of the lostbelts are good but not that good

goetia is an incredible villain

lowest lows:

first five singularities

solomon im sorry the stuff with goetia was peak but the rest was average

gameplay

gacha

serious lack of male summer servants like cmon i wanna see them abs

overall fgo is alright but some parts of it is straight up incredible HOWEVER all of it is seriously held back by being a gacha mobile game and has to work around that limitation

also it has barghest whom i absolutely adore

also fuck fgo for forgetting medea...

WITCH ON THE HOLY NIGHT

now this is peak. the most gorgeous tm work by far i have to say its simply an incredible read all around. even tsukire did not look or work or sound as good as mahoyo did even tho it came out almost ten(?) years after

on the story front i loved it too with a special shoutout to soujuuro being one of my favorite characters in TM (i say this often not my fault type moon keeps releasing bangers)

however mahoyo has two issues for me:

the story is clearly incomplete: i dont mean its just nonsense or whatever but when nasu said its the first of a trilogy you can just feel that in the story with alot of things being left in the air. this wouldnt be an issue really if mahoyo 2 wasnt basically dead....

i didnt vibe with the slice of life scenes as much as i usually do in nasu works: this isnt a flaw in the story more so i just didnt like em idk how else to word that

mahoyo is a great read however and i highly highly recommend you read it or else

it also has touko enough said

TSUKIHIME (original version)

Greatest of all time. Zenith of the medium. Hallmark of media. Gold standard of storytelling. Apogee of creativity. Vertex of invention. Crest of ingenuity. Acme of imagination. Pinnacle of innovation. Epic of epics. Legend among legends. Peak fiction

ok fr tho its actually incredible and you should read it right the fuck now

all of the characters are simply chefs kiss. while the visual novel is incredibly dated and the art is even worse you have to understand this is nasu and takeuchis first ever visual novel made on a barely existing budget.

boy do they make up for that.

the vn is split into two with a near side and far side.

while the near side is really good with arcueid and ciels route (ignore how ciel was actually really fucked over even in her own route its laughable and my girl deserved better) the far side is so much more better and really is where the soul of tsukihime and shiki the main character lies

i cba to review it properly besides saying PLEASE READ IT RN or ill cry and you dont wanna see that do you....

heres my ranking of the routes btw best to worse:

hisui

kohaku

akiha

arcueid

ciel

shoutout to satsuki you finally are gonna get the route you deserved

KAGETSU TOHYA

um it has some cool lore and some really good short stories and... yea thats about it...

dont have much else to add...

play it with a guide because the structure of the game is abysmal

FATE STAY NIGHT

what is there to be said about such a masterpiece? what else could be written about fsn that hasnt been written before? i am but an ant in the shadow of the giant that is FSN only seeking some crumbs to feed and live off of. idk what that means but it sounds cool.

FSN is simply tms best work all around. while i prefer tsuki over it and find the tsuki side of TM more interesting FSN overall is much stronger on most fronts but especially its main characters

Shirou emiya is simply the goat nothing else to be said tbh

heres my ranking of the routes:

issei route

heavens feel

ubw

fate

FATE ROUTE MUST BE REANIMATED RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SABER DESERVES TO HAVE A PROPER ADAPTATION RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

we need more medea and kuzuki holy shit are they cute

FATE HOLLOW ATARAXIA

thank you type moon for making a good kagetsu tohya. its actually impressive just how much better this is then KT like seriously what the fuck did they take to drop this banger of a vn

KT had such shit comedy i didnt even giggle throughout it but THIS

THIS is a emotional rollercoaster of a whole different kind.

introducing the third (arc and medea are first and second) love of my life Bazett and angra we go through an incredible main story intermingled with hilarious and wholesome slice of life scenes that never overstay their welcome

this vn completely changed my opinion on some characters especially illya who went from someone i was kinda 50/50 on to adoring her overall

ALSO MEDEA SCENES YES I WON MOTHERFUCKERS I WO- huh? whats that? fgo basically replaced her with medea lily?

one hour of sobbing later

if you have read fsn and not FHA then i must ask you.. wtf is wrong with you psycho? you like missing out on good things? that wouldnt be me is all im saying

read it.

(in case you're wondering yes there is someone i deliberately didnt mention because my opinion on them is too complicated)

TSUKIHIME REMAKE

im not a fan of remaking classics on the level of tsuki. with all its flaws i still find the original to be good enough to not need a remake...

UNTIL I READ THE REMAKE

this is how you do it folks. the story was elevated on nearly every level and if it was the complete story id say its the best ever in existence ever forever fr. its just that good.

there are three things i really want to point out:

while maybe goin overboard i really liked the buffs all the characters received and in general the whole worldbuilding is so much better now with idea bloods and principles and vampire hierarchies and arcueid inflation scenes (heh) its just epic

ciel got a so much better route that actually feels like a ciel route and not just arcueid route 2 electric bugaloo (and getting fucking cucked)

noel is peak

this is peak type moon and when red garden comes out it will be even BETTER especially with satsuki route because satsuki deserves it

there are some other short stories i havent mentioned like garden of avalon, notes, MAGNITUNING (look it up you wont regret it) its all great and worth the time of reading

eventually i wanna play CCC and read some other stuff like maybe prillya DDD, fgo jp like lb7 traum and whatnot

i just wrote this for fun so dont really take anything i say seriously except for the teeny little part where im inherently correct.

uh if you are reading like or share or whatever tf it was idk

ciao

#fate stay night #type moon #kara no kyoukai #tsukihime #nerding out #arcueid brunestud #medea ily pls come back #fate extra #fate hollow ataraxia #fate grand order

14 notes · View notes

delphiniumarchangelmoon · 6 months ago

Text

My pokemon hot takes (and an essay on ninjask getting done dirty)

Lopunny is for the girls and the gays and I’m tired of pretending its not

Me having a little crush on Mewtwo as a kid isn’t weird, what’s weird is that you DIDNT have a little crush on Mewtwo as a kid ok?

Swsh isn’t badly written you guys just completely ignore every non-required area and text box. You wouldn’t know environmental storytelling if it whacked you upside the head.

Paul was the best anime rival, no one stands up to him. His character arc was the best written, his battles had the highest stakes, and best of all he wasn’t fucking annoying!

Iris was the worst anime companion, by far. She did nothing but bully Ash the entire season despite being awful at her own chosen trainer path and it ruined it for me. Girl don’t sit around talking shit when you suck ass at everything!

Fairy should have been weak to bug. Fairy was introduced to be a balancing type by being weak to lesser used types and immune to the strongest type and then made bug WORSE? Fuck off. That makes no sense and it doesn’t even work that well in lore. It could go either way and make just as much sense.

Vanilluxe isn’t even ugly you guys are just haters for no reason AND I think it should get a really cool mega in Z-A based on a sundae and become extremely powerful and viable because FUCK YOU

The Machop line however IS ugly. You do not get to be mad about Incineroar or Meowscarada being too humanoid when that is literally just a man in his undies, and he’s not even cute. Machamp gets a half pass cause the extra arms make it less uncanny but the weird ring around the mouth needs to go, the shorts need to be better integrated into the design (I think gigantimax machamp does a good job of this by blending them down into the color of the legs) and the shinies of the entire line need to be literally any other color but puke green. Either make them all bright green like machamp or skip the green entirely and go dark red. Or a dark gray. Or blue!

Speaking of shinies, green shinies get too much hate. Espeon and teddiursa are cool. Meanwhile yellow shinies usually don’t look yellow at all they look chartreuse and sickly. Like Groudon! Groudon should have a goldenrod color not that abysmal eyesore.

Haxorous did NOT make the jump to 3D well. It just looks a little off and I can’t get over it.

And anyway here’s my regularly scheduled rant about some bullshit because I’m replaying Sword rn and tried to use more mobs I haven’t used before and came across some. Weird bullshit.

Did you know that in swsh ninjask doesn’t learn a single flying type move by level up once it evolves? What the fuck kind of decision was that???? give me SOMETHING I’m DYING OVER HERE.

It technically DOES get Aerial ace by level up but it’s one if those “level 1” moves that you have to get at the move reminder which I forgot was accessible from the start in this game. So I did a bunch of watt grinding yesterday to get a play rough TR for my Tsareena for my Bea fight for no reason and STILL nearly got swept?

And anyway why is that the only one it gets? Why is talking to an npc a requirement to get the ONLY flying move in this Pokémon’s level up moves. Why doesn’t it learn a flying type move upon evolving or in the levels directly after like any normal mon would upon gaining the flying type? It feels really weird and unnecessary. Just swap out the agility level up move for aerial ace, this mon has speed boost it doesn’t need agility.

And then in TM moves it only gets aerial ace (which it already has anyway) air slash (special aka useless on this mom) and acrobatics, Those are its only flying moves which is its better offensive typing! It learns DIG but not fly, peck, wing attack, or pluck?

And in BDSP it’s tm moves get kneecapped! It LOOSES acrobatics and air slash! WHY???? FOR WHAT REASON??? Like sure, it has ROOST and DEFOG now but those DONT DO DAMAGE????

It would have been better for the tms to be roost and acrobatics in the first place. Those are actually useful. But it doesn’t ever get both in gen 8. I could build a seriously annoying ninjask with a focus sash/a berry, roost, acrobatics, leech life, and aerial ace. Pop the sash or berry so acrobatics is increased, aerial ace never misses, leech life and roost heal me. Leech life alone makes it much less of a glass cannon, could you imagine if it got ALL of these moves at once? We were robbed. You can’t give us improved leech life and then not let us build the most annoying asshole bug ever!

And most of its sound based moves are relegated to tm only which is weird considering it’s a CICADA, the bug primarily known for being LOUD. Like they aren’t useful cause they’ve special moves but it should get bug buzz by level up at least. Having screech be its only sound based level up move is just a weird choice, lore wise.

Also its other level up moves are trash. Mind reader is made completely redundant by aerial ace, and doesn’t even make much sense lore wise, it gets like maybe 6 moves between evolving and its last move which ends up being one move every 10 levels or so which is mid at best, and its best bug stab is learned at level 64… or tm which you’ll almost always be doing instead.

Mind reader should be replaced by bug buzz, and there should be another move at around 38-40 that should probably be a coverage move like shadow claw or night slash. It has precedent for learning grass moves too so leaf blade is an option as well though it’s a little bit more powerful so I’d swap its placement with Slash at lv. 50

Anyway quit kneecapping otherwise usable pokemon with nonsensical movesets.

Anyway rant over. Justice for ninjask. Justice for bug types in general.

#pokemon #viva la ninjask fuck you

3 notes · View notes

nulltune · 2 years ago

Note

random question: do you think there could ever be an instance of moon girl being 'corrupted'? in a small, tiny dimension far away, could evil hakunon ever exist?

good question nonnie! an evil hakunon... what a concept 👀✨️ it's interesting because i think hakuno definitely fits the definition of a "good person". she has a very clear sense of right and wrong, strong morals, she greatly values the lives and wishes of others (no matter how "small" or "insignificant") and treasures the very important things like bonds and connections. i'd say it's almost like the natural course of her character development! in extra and ccc and even extella 🤢 even when starting out from zero as a nobody with nothing, we see that hakuno always finds these core values and humanity even in the worst circumstances.

that saiddd, did you know that hakuno herself admits to having pretty "twisted ideals" in the confrontation with extra's endgame antagonist? and she's always been the one to outright call herself evil too! for a good reason too actually 😳

here's a quick disclaimer though! i personally think hakuno's a very complex character that can be interpreted in many ways though i do know a big reason for that is also bc there are cowards who intend for that to be for self insert purposes rather than anything more nuanced 🗿, so this here's just my personal interpretation of her <3 this also got pretty long so i'll be putting the rest under the cut!

[side note, but i think it's Really Interesting to me how the fate/extra antagonists really parallel hakuno..... there was a scrapped extra ending of hakuno basically taking over as the second twice (though i will say i'm glad that idea was scrapped; cuz hakuno's already too far into her development for that to be a possibility but it's interesting to think about). as for bb-- oh man i can scream about the Potential these two have sm THEY'RE JUST SO GOOD UGH 😭😭 summing it up real quick, they're both just someone willing to give their all and become a hero/villain if that meant protecting the one they love. the former for hakuno and the latter for bb ! even kiara has similarities to hakuno, i don't know how much (due to lack of ccc translations </3) but i do know that they were simply living to their truest selves which had varying results]

i think these lines sum up her stance of things pretty nicely (they also reside in my head rent free 24/7 🛐) and really give you a good Insight(TM) on hakuno kishinami:

"If I could protect that which I hold most dear, then that should dictate the path I choose to walk."

"Hakuno Kishinami was someone who treasured herself, and the things she loved. The things I insist I want to protect are only those I see before me. …that’s the sort of shallow, greedy person Hakuno Kishinami was."

"I was just empty in the beginning, so if you say you're bad— then I will just dye myself in your colors."

it's safe to say that at her core, the most unbendable thing is that hakuno cares most about the people she loves, that's the key takeaway here thougg we also have other important hakuno traits like her lack of identity and her extreme devotion. i talked about this character trait of hers a widdle bit in this post, but yeah- for all her heroic qualities, traditionally heroic things like saving the world doesn't take priority for her.

hakuno's very direct when she says it in canon too. the state of the world has nothing to do with her (which is the cold rational truth considering her unique existence, to be fair), but she still wants to protect it because it's the world where the people she cares about live in; and that's the primary motivation for her. though i do think we have to take things with a grain of salt, because as harsh as her blunt words can sound, we can see from her reactions and inner monologue that just the thought of people dying is painful to her. so i think it's important to know that even if hakuno's first priority is the people close to her, she does think about others as well, i'd say that hakuno cares for just about anyone and everyone in some capacity. it's just that much stronger with someone she's emotionally bonded with.

now, hakuno genuinely is someone so kindhearted with only good intentions... which is a very important point 2 me!! she's not the type to damn the world for no reason and naturally dislikes the idea of anyone suffering. however, she can be scary determined to do what she must to accomplish her goal. it's only when push comes to shove and she's forced to make a choice where we'd really see this come into play methinks! we're entertaining what-ifs here and personally, i can really see hakuno take on a more,, morally questionable role ngl. hakuno's always acted in the way you'd expect a model person to be, but i think it's important to note that that comes out of her own personal values rather than a sense of justice or any chivalrous reasoning.

hakuno does want and try to operate within the scope of what is "good", but she wouldn't limit herself to it, if that makes sense. i'm not sure how to describe her morals, exactly, but hohhh boy it's super interesting to me! she's good at heart, but is willing to do something she views as evil if it meant the best for -insert name here- so when hakuno calls herself evil, it's because she has very clear and strong morals and a strong sense of good or evil, but at the end of the day, she's willing to discard anything and devote her everything to the things she loves.

that willingness to cross any line and discard her own morals, by definition, is immoral though. hakuno never does things without full awareness of her actions and the consequences that come with it, so she'd definitely be more than aware of that too. i think foxtail, which has that third line there "[...] so if you say you're bad— then I will just dye myself in your colors.", illustrates it so well..... it literally has hakuno staining herself with blood as she says that which- what more can i say!! it's just that undying devotion above all else <3 i have no doubt that she would be having a lot of complex feelings about it :uglycry:

i mentioned before that hakuno calls herself evil already, but it's best not to take her words at face value. she's a lot more complex than that!! she's a lot more complex than what even she gives herself credit for honestly!!!!! you gotta remember that even if hakuno seems cold/distant and claims to be a terrible person, she's repeatedly shown that she still cares about others no matter what and wants them to be happy. it's just that, again, she's willing to do a lot of things for that which is most important to her 💃🏻 tis just a matter of circumstance and priorities.... but yeah ! no matter the tiny universe, at her core she's still the same hakuno doing what she sincerely believes in and for what's most important to her.

it's very in line with hakuno actually! provided the proper circumstances, i can really see it happening 😳 we've seen hakuno in canon call herself "a failure as a master" because she cares more for her servant than the holy grail, so i can see her similarly condemn herself for prioritizing the well-being of an individual over,, literally everything else. i imagine it playing out like her choice to do what was necessary to survive in the holy grail war. she's absolutely firm in chasing after her goal, it's a decision she won't back out on, but she has a lot of difficult feelings about it too. it's not at all easy for her, and it would just add onto her already horrendous view of herself and her self-loathing :,)

I FEEL LIKE I DIDN'T REALLY ANSWER YOUR QUESTION .... 😳 but i think there's no easy answer to it tbh! hakuno has a tendency of simplifying things (for better or worse) but i think things are much more complex than that. so whether she's evil or good, that really depends on what we choose to think,,, if that makes sense,,, 🫠

as for a "corrupted" hakuno-- i'm not really sure what you mean by that?? if you're still out there nonnie 🥺 pls feel free to clarify! <3 i'm a fake fate writer lol so if it's corruption from the holy grail or something, then i have no idea how to answer because nasu lore eludes me 🗿 but i don't think that would be the case! hakuno's character is definitely influenced by others around her, but she's always the one actively trying to find and better understand herself and a reason to fight for. part of what makes her compelling is her immense resolve to do what she fully believes in — which is why all i've rambled about above there. knowing the full weight of her actions and her feelings about it is what makes hakuno so compelling imo!!

OUGHHH BUT (me, coming back after googling up the exact definition of corruption: 🤯) if we look at this in the scope of canon, this is a form of corruption actually ?? !!! remember: love was never intended and is actually mistaken for artificial intelligence made by the moon cell like bb and hakuno (: to go against their intended purpose of serving humanity as a whole in favor of an individual they've come to love is peak "corruption" for them, but we've seen how they both rather go against anything and everything rather than lose that precious feeling. I WISH THEY FOCUSED ON THAT CONCEPT IN CANON TBH 😭😭 JUST IMAGINE!!!! i wish they focused more on hakuno in general tbh </3

#THIS IS RLLY LATE NONNIE BUT TYSM FOR THE ASK 🥺💖 !!!#as u can see; i can never shut up abt this girl SHE IS SO INTERESTING 2 MEEEEE *BITES A CHAIR*#Insane how she's such a perfect 'hero' but can be such an interesting 'villain' too....... egad #she's just a very complex character methinks!!! there is A Lot to unpack especially bc u gotta know that #&&. hcs #shoves this here bc 🫡 this do be how i write my very dear moon lady !#I HOPE I EXPLAINED THIS PROPERLY THO SBFKSGFJSHD anon's always on if any clarification is needed !!#it is very important 2 me that i portray h.akuno nicely ... 🧎‍♂️ sfsdvxjfl #anonymous

7 notes · View notes

husbandhoshi · 9 months ago

Text

ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLRIGHTY.......it is time....we cheered! i am so ready to tuck into this like a delicious meal <3 liveblogging under the cut :')

see i feel like we have already started off so strong. i feel like whenever /i/ write long introspective sections it feels like it drags but this is so perfect. i had to do the ole english essay ellipses to cut the passage but the whole stretch was so evocative without being lengthy.

The hot tears suddenly feel ice cold against your burning skin, and exhaustion crashes down on you. The sink is dripping again.

You’ll have to get it fixed.

Everything.

this is so real. i think it's so hard to write like. Mental Illness tm or at least like. raw moments and make it seem Not Corny slash stereotypical but this is perfect.

Vernon knows your coffee and takeout orders by heart, and you do his. Even if he’s a worse texter than talker, you still very much enjoy his company, and mostly the ability to exist together in comfortable silence.

this and the paragraphs before this are i think the perfect characterization of vernon. spot on. esp the hum in response like truly my man is Not nosy whatsoever.

okay see like sometimes POV switches are corny and gratuitous but i feel like this was so smoothly done and provides a bit of extra characterization to help inform the rest of the fic. i think it's also really interesting to see how different vernon's thoughts and actions are versus yn's...where yn wears their emotions on their sleeve and vernon is kind of a mask. like it's an interesting dichotomy.

You are his first love, even if he would never admit it to anyone, not even himself.

nothing to say here i was just gagged. i also said THREE YEARS? out loud. oh my god we are really in this.

That night you fall asleep wondering what it’d be like to hold Vernon’s hands on a 2am walk. You dream about your kitchen window being gone.

the prose here is so yummy. the cadence of this paragraph especially. Yes...

He helps the girl lay down, and she mumbles something similar to a “don’t go, you’re so cute”, which Vernon decides to ignore, and turns her on her side instead - just in case she gets sick.

BASED and woke public health king

OK IM SEEING THE THEMES.... i also love how you write little snippets of everyday life and make them seem so romantic..so lived in and wonderful even tho they're just typical things. you know.

not gnna paste in the text messages but just know that vernon using punctuation??? Something is Cooking. also him taking the initiative to ask yn to build a snowman is really sweet knowing that he is typically not the type to initiate things.

You move your gaze towards him, and suddenly his face is way too close...You swallow nervously and your eyes flicker to his lips.

this passage made me bite my fist..the way u so easily transition from the introspective moments to dialogue to fluff...... also didn't want to grab the ENTIRE convenience store section but i love how the midnight connections tm have become a staple of your fic. i think it's a perfect little bite of the liminal in-between moments. the things people want to say and can't. things you think will be forgotten by the morning. you know. also loving how reserved vernon is w his friends and then him lighting up when he's w yn it rlly is so sweet to see :( and the added detail that he is tired as shit but will still make time for them.

Once you say your goodbyes you slowly make your way home, walking past the half finished snowman.

yn is so earnest and that's one of my favorite things abt them. like this is such a cute gesture. esp because like they weren't that eager to leave the house in the first place but the sheer Wonderfulness of the moment drives them to be a little whimsical when that would have been so out of character for them earlier...character development.

He dreams about the feeling of your lips on his.

ok the callback to the dreams...honestly like its the perfect throwback to the earlier part but also adds sooo much to the thematic/atmospheric cohesion here. also i screamed

Being alone feels suffocating, even though you’re the one who turned Vernon down once again. It’s been weird seeing him around at school, only being able to think about how pretty he looks under cheap neon lights. He doesn’t make much of an effort to reach out either.

this is actually so real. i'm learning a lot from the way u write fic and i think this part is so simply but well said. like what characters do dont HAVE to make sense. sometimes feelings are complicated and we do things we dont want to do and say things we dont want to say etc etc.

“I’m getting kind of hungry,” she pouts at him, and he feels like this is his chance to get out.

“I know just the place.”

WELCOME HOME CHEATER also im not grabbing anything from this next section bc it would be too long but like.. oh nawurrr.... not them connecting and then disconnecting and then falling into other people.... also re: the POV shift thing i actually think it has become such a wonderful little utility here. like i see the vision now. yes this is ab yn but it's also about VERNON and his emotional constipation and his self sabotage. and how HE weathers the seasons. THE MISSED CALL AND TEXT MESSAGE???? killing myself and then killing myself again............ OK SHONDA RHIMES..

You still dream about draping your scarf around Vernon, late night grocery runs, a kitchen window that’s brighter and doesn’t make you feel like the shell of who you used to be.

nothing to say here except chefs kiss of a sentence. the window callback is another chefs kiss and i think the motif is so fitting bc in a way they both feel like outsiders looking in....starting to see why this is called parallels and almosts ... (sorry i am slow.)

“How’s Seohyun?” You take a step back, and Vernon visibly gulps. Somehow he just knows that you’ve been talking to Seungkwan.

um i gasped aloud........... season finale type beat. also like i'm no vernon shooter but yn getting mad at vernon when they Also were Talking to seungkwan OK emoji .

Vernon feels like a stranger and your dearest friend at the same time. Sometimes when you look at him too much you go back to the night where things still felt okay and you wonder if he ever thinks about it - about how badly you wanted to hold his hands, kiss him still lying in the snow.

this makes my tummy hurt because i think you encapsulated the feeling of time passing so well. like its only been 10k words but i feel like there is actual history there even tho there was only one scene where they really bonded... you know. like their past feels so storied to me.

“Maybe.”

“Oh you’re one to talk, like you’d ever tell me any of it!”

see like i think this is such a masterful way of tying it together.. like yeah. they both SUCKED at communication. PARALLELS AND ALMOSTS.

nothing to say ab the next section (Maybe you've already fallen hard...You wake up crying at 2 AM) except that i think it's one of my fave sections of Prose in this.

Almost on instinct you lean your head on Vernon’s shoulder, and you feel his arm circling your waist and squeezing gently, his head coming to rest on top of yours.

literally my eyes opened so wide. we Going situationship?????????????? i think the dream thing that you have going on is especially potent here bc it really feels like we Have vernon and then we don't. and then it repeats.

“There’s gonna be a party tonight,” he turns to you suddenly. “I want you to come.”

FULL CIRCLE...fly hands....

OK the ending. OMG. the kiss scene was sweet and not corny. and the way you transformed the space when vernon moves in... like the idea of Home and Space and feeling Trapped the whole fic has i think is so lovely. i think there is a very tactile way you described things here and so it feels lived in and natural. like you dont have to SAY how yn is feeling as explicitly because you can SEE it in the way the space changes around them. and then the callback at the end is really sweet :')

overall i think this was such an enjoyable read!! you continue to be the master of atmospheric fic. like it really sucks you in and i think you describe yn so fully that it's hard to not empathize w them even if you don't really relate to the things happening in their life. and i think there is such a simplicity to the setting and the plot points that you can really Sit in the feelings that the characters are feeling. i think the next strongest bit of this was the parallels theme!! i loved seeing how the sections echoed each other and how the imagery/environments reflected the progression of the characters and plot.

tldr i loved it and i will never Not sing your praises as a writer!!!

parallels & almosts

♡ pairing: vernon x reader

♡ genre: friends to lovers, light angst

♡ word count: 10k

♡ warnings: slight description of panic attacks, alcohol consumption, slow burn-ish lol, occasional cursing, a little sad bc i wrote it in winter, yearning

a/n: i wrote this last christmas inspired by my first sem at uni, and finally got around to proofreading :) hope you like it, and if you have any thoughts about it id love to know <3

masterlist

♡ ♡ ♡

One day you’ll inevitably fall for someone. Someone, who will touch you for the first time like no one ever did before, and maybe no one ever will again. Full of love, admiration, and tenderness. Your chest is going to fill with pain and unending yearning, a fleeting moment that’s going to feel like nothing and everything whenever you think about it. And you’ll fall hard, hard enough that if any of it was real it might break your body in unspeakable ways.

When you wake up the next day you realise you’ll never love anyone as much as this, not in this lifetime.

Then it’s over.

You’re sitting in the bathroom, staring at the uneven paint where the tiles meet the wall, wondering if you could ever manage to crawl into one of the cracks there and disappear forever. No clichéd metaphor seems fitting enough, even though you understand you are not the first, and you won’t be the last either, to experience heartbreak quite like this. Something that squishes your heart until it feels numb, catches in your throat in a way that you can’t even find the words to explain the pain, a constant gloss over your eyes, like tears you can’t blink away.

Your upstairs neighbour is just a little too loud, the static of the tv humming just a little too much, drunk people screaming outside just a little too close, and it all feels so overbearing. You close your eyes, skin buzzing with all the loudness of the inside and outside combined. It’s hard to focus on one thing when it feels like the whole world is happening at once without you in it.

Then the phone rings.

The world stops, but your breathing quickens as panic takes over. It’s all so much in a way that seems impossible to deal with. At least for now, in this passing moment, even if it feels like an eternity. The ringing gets more and more deafening, your breaths quickening, and you know it won’t stop. It never really does. The cacophony of sounds slowly fades out, the only thing you can hear is your own body; your heartbeat, your own breaths, tired gasps for air. It’s okay. You claw at your skin, anything to distract yourself from the ongoing panic attack, even if you know it won’t help. It never does.

It’s okay.

Tears burn the corners of your eyes, even though you don’t know how long you’ve been crying. The world is slowly closing in, and it’s just you on the cold bathroom floor at 2am.

Is it okay?

It’s silent. So suddenly and so loudly, it almost knocks the air back into your lungs, as if the ground is being pulled from underneath your feet. The hot tears suddenly feel ice cold against your burning skin, and exhaustion crashes down on you. The sink is dripping again.

You’ll have to get it fixed.

Everything.

It’s a slow process to drag yourself from the bathroom to bed. The rain knocks politely on the window and you’re tempted to let it in, but instead just stare out into the cold night. The snow is slowly melting away, and you wish it washed away all the thoughts plaguing your mind too. It’s never that easy, you’ve always found it hard to let go of routines. The habit of waking up, turning over to give him a kiss, making coffee together. You don’t even like coffee that much, but for him you would’ve learned to love anything. For him, you even learned to love him. With all the pain and hurt.

Despite him, you loved him.

It’s all gone, and it’s okay.

“You didn’t pick up all weekend,” Vernon says in his usual nonchalant tone without as much as looking in your direction.

After you finally managed to calm down, sleep seemed much more inviting than looking at your phone. The next few days felt so peaceful in isolation, that it wouldn’t have been right to disturb it.

“Sorry.”

He only hums in response, quietly scribbling away in his notebook next to you. His hair is hidden behind one of his many beanies, one earphone in his ear, the other one between the two of you on the desk as a silent offering from his part. It’s the middle of the lecture, but you wordlessly take it anyway, knowing well that you won’t pay attention today no matter what.

Vernon is hard to read, even if you’ve been friends for a few years now. He mostly keeps to himself, barely showing if something is going on in his life. He occasionally lets you in on the big things, like when his sister graduated high school, or when his family got a new cat. You weren’t completely sure if he shared these things with you out of common courtesy - you were glad when he did anyway. He was a little more curious and attentive when you told him about something, but never asked on his own.

You get lost in thought, only coming back to reality when your favourite song quietly starts playing in your ear. Vernon is putting his phone back down, giving you a small smile before returning to the paper in front of him. His eyes twinkle in the cheap fluorescent light of the lecture hall, and even if the thought makes your chest feel tight, he does look beautiful even at 9am on a Monday.

He furrows his eyebrows, tapping his pen against the desk to the beat of the music. You rest your head on top of your barely started notes, glancing at Vernon from the corner of your eye before getting lost in thought for the rest of the lecture. You only notice that it’s over when the boy next to you is already leaving, gently tapping your shoulder and giving you a small wave before walking off into the cold fog of the morning. The professor starts turning the lights off, and you scurry to gather your belongings, making your way to the exit. Suddenly you hear music in your ear once again, and you realise you forgot to give Vernon his earphones back.

However, music means he’s near, so you try and remember which way he went, and spot him a few benches over in front of the building. He’s standing in a lopsided circle with his friends, their laughter visible in the crisp air. You shuffle over to the group, standing a little awkwardly next to Vernon, who’s too invested in whatever conversation they’re having to notice your arrival. One of the boys spots you, and you give him a brief smile before deciding to finally tap Vernon’s shoulder. He quickly turns to you, the corners of his lips quirking up just enough for you to notice. You don’t want to overstay your welcome, so you quickly take the earphone and hand it back to him. His mouth turns into an O shape, and you can feel your cheeks warming up, so you look back down at your palm to avoid staring at his face even longer. He takes it from your hand, his cold fingers igniting fire in their wake. His eyes search for yours, and as soon as they meet you feel a little wobbly, a little warm, and a lot vulnerable.

You only decided on attending any classes you had that day to avoid sitting at home even longer, stewing in your own sadness and tears. When sitting in your bed that morning you felt as if you’d be okay, as if you’ll be able to get through all this without anyone knowing or noticing. As Vernon’s eyes bore into yours, you just knew that he could see everything. You were never sure how close he considered you, and you were always too scared to assume that you are close in the first place.

Your knees feel like they’re about to give out, so you shake your head a little, trying to hide the obvious blush on your cheeks behind your scarf.

“There’s gonna be a party later tonight, if you uh- If you wanna come,” Vernon tells you.

“It’s Monday,” it almost comes out as a question, eliciting a laugh from the boy.

“I’ll text you the address later, in case you change your mind. I’ll be there.”

His smile always makes everything a little easier, so you nod and turn to leave. For a second he looks like he might say something else, a concerned look on his face, but he fades back into the conversation instead.

As soon as you’re out of earshot Vernon’s got multiple curious eyes on him, waiting for some sort of an explanation. They all know you to some degree of course, but they haven’t seen their friend like this in quite some time.

“Dude,” Seungkwan is the first one to voice his thoughts.

“What?”

“Did we miss something?'' His tone is enough to make Vernon’s eyes widen. “Just a heads up, I’m gonna keep an eye on you tonight. And I’m gonna be updating the group chat constantly, too.”

A round of laughter and general agreement follows Seungkwan’s statement, and though Vernon loves his friends, he has to admit that they can be too much sometimes. Even if he considers himself a private person, he does still keep them up to date most of the time, except at times like this. At times when not only his feelings are concerned.

He could see even during class how out of it you were, certainly he could, but he didn’t want to bring up something you were not comfortable sharing on your own. So all he did was slide a lone earphone over, and put on a playlist he made for you. Of course, he would never tell you that - or anyone for that matter. His feelings and his playlist were kept as his most treasured secrets, even if they’re only meaningful to him. He would be lying to himself if he tried to deny the crush he’s been nursing on you since you met in your first Monday morning class, sitting in the same spot as today. He immediately memorised your name during the quick introduction game the professor insisted on, making use of it as much as he could during class, and right after, too. Grabbing coffee seemed like the logical choice at the time, texting all his friends for recommendations as soon as he could. Once class was over he made his move, striking up conversation with you, albeit a little awkwardly. Surprisingly even to him, you agreed, and shortly after you found yourselves at a small café just off campus. The impromptu hangout felt almost too comfortable for it to be your first time meeting, and Vernon couldn’t think about the way you laughed at his terrible jokes without getting butterflies in his stomach, not even years later.

He later had to face the fact that you’re taken, and even if it broke his heart a little, he enjoyed your company a lot more than for something like this to keep him from you. So here you are, almost 3 years later, still looking at each other with the same unmistakable tenderness that only you two seem to ignore. Always smiling brighter, laughing louder, and whispering even more quietly when the other is around.

You are his first love, even if he would never admit it to anyone, not even himself.

The dim orange street light illuminates the kitchen in a way that squeezes your soul just a little too tight, making you feel nostalgic for things that maybe never really happened. Snowflakes land on the window and melt away slowly, racing down the glass. Lately it only snows at night, so you decide to stay up late, the party Vernon invited you to long forgotten.

Tonight it’s a little different somehow. The air feels heavier than usual, and the streets are fully empty, which is an exceptionally rare sight this close to campus. You open the window, and climb up to sit on the sill, dangling your feet into the night. The crippling pressure on your chest doesn’t seem to cease, and you wish to be able to cry and scream, let it all out while it’s dark and quiet.

In the distance you spot a figure slowly treading through the snow, dressed in all black with their hands in their pockets. Their steps are completely silent except for the occasional crunch of the fresh snow. The knowledge that someone else is just this restless at the same time as you brings an odd sense of peace. Wordless company on such a lonely night.

For a fleeting moment you feel like everything’s going to be okay.

That night you fall asleep wondering what it’d be like to hold Vernon’s hands on a 2am walk. You dream about your kitchen window being gone.

Vernon waits for you patiently at the party that night, checking his phone way too often to make sure he doesn’t miss any of your calls or texts. A few drinks and too much teasing from his friends later he’s already getting ready to leave when some girl sidles up to him, giggling drunkenly right into his face. He remembers her from one of his classes, but not her name, and he doesn’t bother asking either.

“Heeey,” the girl chimes. “Are you uh- are you here uh- alone?” She stumbles a little, both with her words and her steps.

Vernon hesitates, but nods anyway.

“Really? So am I, that’s uh-” Vernon gets nervous that the girl might end up ruining his shoes. “That’s so cool. Wanna, do you wanna-”

She closes her eyes for a second and blindly reaches out for something to steady herself, so he grabs her arms on instinct.

“Are you okay?”

“You’re sooo cute, come with me, please?” She tries to pout at Vernon, but it comes out as almost every other emotion instead.

He shuffles through his choices mentally, deciding to make his way back into the living room with the girl clinging to him for dear life. The mind numbing music makes him wince a little, and he makes his way upstairs as fast as possible to get away from the hardcore party scene, not really in the mood for the smell of sweat and alcohol combined with the loudest room he could imagine in this moment. He manages to find an empty room on the third try, having seen a lot more naked people than he’s comfortable with in the span of the past few minutes.

He helps the girl lay down, and she mumbles something similar to a “don’t go, you’re so cute”, which Vernon decides to ignore, and turns her on her side instead - just in case she gets sick. He quickly makes his leave, and he can hear retching from the other side of the closed door as soon as he’s outside. It makes him wanna leave as soon as possible, so he does just that, bidding bye to some of his friends before vanishing into the dark. He’s never been so happy about silence before.

The night is tranquil, even his own footsteps barely audible as he makes his way home. When he hears rustling he looks around to find the source, finding someone climbing into the windowsill in a nearby building. He gets worried, immediately wondering if he should call someone, or maybe yell out to the stranger to stop, the 5th floor is a long way from the ground, it’s not worth it. He decides against it when he sees the stranger quietly settle down, but watches for a bit longer anyway before deciding to continue his journey.

That night he falls asleep wondering if he should’ve texted you, if you’re even okay.

He dreams about the stranger falling from the window in slow motion, and wakes up in cold sweat before they could hit the ground.

You find yourself spending more and more nights in the kitchen, the quiet hum of the fridge and lone passersby keeping you company as you watch the world go by. It was peaceful in a terrible way, one which you were sure was no good for you. That window became your survival, even if it made your chest ache with the sights it presented occasionally. Some nights were different. Some nights your phone buzzed to life with a new text from Vernon, asking about your day or just trying to make conversation. With how unavailable you made yourself he suddenly became better at texting than talking. You had to admit that it always made you a little sad when you didn’t receive his almost routinely ‘hey :)’ just a little past midnight. You always started by scowling him for being up late again, to which he responded by telling you the same.

It’s around 1am when your phone almost buzzes off the countertop.

Vernon: hey :)

Vernon: its finally snowing!!

You didn’t have the heart to tell him that the snowfall at night has been almost the only constant in your life lately.

Vernon: where r u???

Vernon: i know ur up we’re gonna go build a snowman

Vernon: dress warm!!

You’re about to force yourself to lie and turn him down, but something snaps inside of you and you find yourself asking for a location before hurriedly pulling on some warmer clothes. To your surprise he asks to meet in the park about a block from your complex, so you make your way over, waiting a few minutes for Vernon to arrive too.

He greets you with a warm smile, barely half his face visible from his beanie and scarf, his hands tucked deep in his pockets.

“Why are you even up this late?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“My roommates threw a party,” he closes his eyes and lets out an exasperated sigh, his breath drawing the prettiest shapes in the crisp air. “But I could be asking the same.”

“You could, but don’t,” he laughs at your response. “It’s really fucking cold tonight though, so let’s hurry up with that snowman.”

He grins at you and gently bumps his elbow into yours as you set off to find a good patch of snow. It starts out mellow, rolling snowballs around until you get to a size you’re happy with. However, Vernon gets bored quickly and decides to start targeting you with his snowballs instead. The park is quickly filled with your laughter and screaming, chasing each other around until you’re both too tired to run anymore. He flops down into the snow onto his back, sprawling all his limbs out. He’s still laughing quietly, interrupting himself with a scream when you throw one last snowball at his chest, half of the snow ending up in his face as it falls apart on impact. Your eyes widen as he jumps to his feet, an excited squeal leaving your lips when he sets off running in your direction. You try to make your escape, but of course he’s quicker and tackles you to the ground almost immediately. You both end up on your backs, your heads almost touching and the quiet night comes to life as you burst out in giggles almost in perfect harmony.

“I think there’s a convenience store a few blocks away,” Vernon says once he’s calmed down enough to talk, and turns his head towards you.

“You hungry?” You move your gaze towards him, and suddenly his face is way too close - you could count his eyelashes or maybe get lost in his eyes forever. For a brief second it’s silent except for the pounding of your heart that you’re sure even he can hear.

“Yeah,” he whispers in response, not breaking eye contact. You swallow nervously and your eyes flicker to his lips. “I- Let’s go.”

“Okay,” you breathe out. Neither of you move.

You feel like even the world stops moving for a second, out of politeness, to give you time to think about what to do. You wonder what you’re so scared of, what is it about him that makes your brain short circuit with a single look. The thought of ruining your friendship with Vernon climbs to the front of your mind and suddenly it’s all you can think about. Your body moves on its own as you finally get up, dusting your clothes off and reaching down to help Vernon up. He stares at you dumbfounded, but takes your hand anyway and stands in front you in silence, watching you chew anxiously on your lower lip. Even if he doesn’t know all that’s been bothering you the past few weeks, he can clearly see that something isn’t quite right.

Suddenly you find himself in his embrace, his head squished to yours and his fingers tangled in the back of your coat. He holds you like this for a bit, playfully ruffling your hair when he finally pulls away.

“There’s nothing convenience store ramen can’t fix,” he says, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Especially since you’re paying,” you grin at him, and he only laughs at you, shaking his head a little. You never want this night to end.

The walk is quick and goes by in comfortable silence, only stealing glances at each other occasionally. You’re sitting under the flickering neon sign of the store, waiting for your ramen to finish cooking, Vernon almost falling asleep over his food. You offer him your couch for the night, but he politely declines, since surely the party must be over by now. You give him a small nod, poking away impatiently at your noodles, deciding to dig in whether it’s done or not, too hungry and tired to care. The clock above the cashier reads a little past 4am.

With your stomachs full you’re standing outside the shop, mesmerised by the way the green neon highlights Vernon’s face. Even like this, he looks tired and almost a little sad. Your thoughts wander to how little he has said since you left the park, and it leaves a weird taste in your mouth.

“Thank you.” You spot the perplexed look in his eyes. “For tonight. It was… nice. So, thank you.”

He has way too much to say and way too little consciousness left in him for the night. He tries to string his thoughts together in an order so that they make sense, but the lack of sleep takes over and he only manages a tired smile. He can see something in your eyes that’s new to him, but he decides to save that conversation for another time.

Once you say your goodbyes you slowly make your way home, walking past the half finished snowman. Once you reach the other end of the park you let out a sigh and turn around. You pull your freezing hands from your pockets and get to work once again, rolling a head for the snowman and looking around for some twigs for the arms. You put on a few pebbles as decorations, a smile adorning the snowman’s face now. You take your phone and quickly snap a picture to send to Vernon, even though you’re sure he’s already fast asleep.

It’s past 5am once you get home, managing to fall asleep without tossing and turning for the first time in weeks. You don’t have a dream that night.

When Vernon stumbles through the front door he’s greeted by Seungkwan and Soonyoung watching some movie in the living room, probably half asleep as they don’t seem to notice his arrival. He takes off his shoes and coat, quietly moving towards his room when he hears a tired yawn from the couch. Seungkwan blinks at him sleepily, Vernon greeting him with a small wave that either goes unnoticed, or the boy really was asleep.

“You missed movie night,” Seungkwan croaks out. “What time is it anyways?”

“It’s really, really late. I just had to check on a friend.”

“A friend…” Seungkwan studies Vernon’s face. “You look like shit, dude.”

Vernon only looks back at him with a tired expression, letting out a low sigh before disappearing into his room. He flops down on his bed, not even bothering to change out of his clothes. He thinks back to your face so close to his, all the things he could’ve said and done. The moon peeks through his blinds, and he wonders if he kissed you would you have kissed him back.

He dreams about the feeling of your lips on his.

Vernon never replies to your finished snowman, and somehow it bothers you a lot more than it should. For the first time this winter the snow didn’t end up melting by the morning, and it’s even there covering the ground in a plush white layer a few days later.

It’s one of those nights again where the dark amplifies your loneliness, and you find yourself in the park again, sitting on a bench in front of your snowman. It’s leaning to the side a little, the daytime sun not taking mercy on it. You stare into its pebble eyes, your elbows resting on your knees and your chin in your palms - almost studying the little creature you made. You know it's going to melt and be gone in a few days, and the thought puts a frown on your face. You wish you never got attached to something so impermanent.

You check your phone for the time, but instead have to face a missed call and a message from Vernon. All it reads is “r u up?”, and you mentally cringe at the tinder-esque nature of his texting habits. You decide not to reply.

You get up to leave, but fix the snowman up before you do so, wrapping your scarf around its neck. You zip your coat up as high as possible and set off with silent steps. Being alone feels suffocating, even though you’re the one who turned Vernon down once again. It’s been weird seeing him around at school, only being able to think about how pretty he looks under cheap neon lights. He doesn’t make much of an effort to reach out either.

Later that week one of his friends invites you to some party he’s hosting, but you politely turn the offer down. You do end up buying a bottle of the cheapest grapefruit soju you can find that very same night, laying drunkenly on the floor and singing along to every song that comes on. You are glad that your phone is dead and you are too out of it to get up for the charger, because all you can think about is texting Vernon. It’s way past midnight when you finally feel well enough to get up, realising that you’ve been ignoring how hungry you are for the past few hours. The kitchen sounds like the worst place to be, so you get dressed and decide on the convenience store that Vernon showed you.

Vernon isn’t much for parties, but he realises that he’s in dire need of some socialisation, so when Mingyu invites him over he says yes without thinking. He regrets it just a little when he can hear the blaring music from outside the house, giving himself a mental pep talk before walking inside. He’s immediately met with a crowded room, barely able to squeeze past the swarm of sweaty bodies. Finding any of his friends seems impossible, but the kitchen is right on the other side of the living room, so he beelines there. He grabs a beer from the fridge, and almost jumps out of his skin when he closes the door to find someone standing right next to it, expectantly looking at him. The girl is familiar, but he can’t quite remember her.

“Hey,” she says with a shy smile. “I don’t think we’ve met, at least not when I’m sober.��

The memory suddenly hits him, and the look of realisation on his face makes the girl laugh. She does look different when she’s not about to throw up all over Vernon’s shoes and the floor.

“Oh yeah, that was… A night, for sure. Hi. I’m Vernon, by the way.”

He leans against the counter next to her and cracks his beer open. The girl reaches a free hand towards him, the other cradling a cup of something, and introduces herself as Seohyun. They make small talk for a while, both of them finishing their drinks before she asks Vernon if he wants to dance. He hesitates a little, but nods anyway, and she immediately grabs his hand with a giggle before pulling him into the crowd.

They dance like that, bodies pressed a little too close together, laughing over the music and singing along to every song they know. Vernon feels weird anyway, like something is missing, even if he couldn’t pinpoint what exactly.

He has no idea how long he’s been there when he finally spots Seungkwan in the kitchen, mixing multiple drinks at once. He excuses himself for a second from Seohyun and makes his way over to his friend to greet him. Seungkwan only nods at him, and the response puzzles Vernon.

“What?” Seungkwan asks when he notices Vernon silently staring at him.

“Nothing. Having fun?”

Once again, he only nods. Vernon furrows his eyebrows in confusion, but doesn’t press on, knowing fully well that Seungkwan will eventually tell him whatever is going on.

“Have you seen Mingyu?” Vernon shakes his head no and watches as Seungkwan somehow lifts all the cups at once and disappears out of sight without as much as a bye. He wonders if he should’ve stayed home to sleep instead.

He finds Seohyun on the couch, her head lazily thrown back and her eyes glistening in the dim light. She flashes a small smile when she spots Vernon, gesturing for him to sit down.

“I’m getting kind of hungry,” she pouts at him, and he feels like this is his chance to get out.

“I know just the place.”

You’re waiting for your ramen to finish cooking, sitting in the window of the convenience store with the neon lights lazily blinking down at you. Those 5 minutes feel like forever, but you’re not hungry enough to eat raw noodles.

The street in front of you is peaceful, even though there’s barely any snow left outside once again. You wonder how your snowman is doing. You wonder how Vernon is doing.

You look up at the clock above the cashier and notice that your food is finally done. Loud giggling grabs your attention from outside the store, and you wish you got more drunk so that you couldn’t be sitting here right now. Vernon’s eyes bore into your own through the glass, an unreadable expression on his face. The girl next to him is obviously lost as to what she’s witnessing, but doesn’t say anything. You quickly gather your belongings, grabbing your dinner too, before rushing out of the store. You glance at the boy one more time, and even though he’s clearly about to say something you rush off home. Tears blur your vision and leave burning trails along your face, but you just want to be home already.

Vernon is too stunned to move, only coming back to reality when he hears Seohyun’s voice.

“Who was that?”

“Just a friend.” A friend. “Let’s go eat.”

Seohyun beams at him, but he wishes he ran after you.

New Year’s Eve comes a lot quicker than you wish it did. Fireworks start going off way before midnight, and you can’t help but be annoyed. Maybe more sad than anything else, not really knowing how to feel excited about the new year. It used to be something you found exciting, but over the years it turned into peak isolation and anxiety season for you. Not out of choice, of course, life just happens sometimes.

You haven’t talked to Vernon at all since the convenience store. You haven’t really talked to anyone lately, except for a short call with your family to wish them happy holidays. You weren’t sure what went wrong, or where, but winter always brings a crippling feeling of cosmic insignificance into your life. Loneliness slowly turns into a black hole that absorbs all light and happiness in your life, and you find it harder and harder with each passing day to reach out. By the end of the year the light is barely a pinhole, and you’re sitting in the kitchen once again, watching the fireworks in silence.

Vernon can barely recognize their apartment after Seungkwan and Soonyoung are done with decorating, even less once it’s filled with music and all their friends. He doesn’t know most of them, but for one night he can find it in himself to be okay with this arrangement. His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he finds a text from Seohyun telling him that she’s outside. Vernon takes the elevator down to the first floor to let the girl in. He unlocks the door for her, and she hugs him with the brightest smile on her face. Guilt immediately floods Vernon’s chest, but he doesn’t want to back away now, after all he was the one who invited Seohyun to this party. They make their way up in silence and enter the bustling apartment, Seohyun finding Vernon’s hand quickly at the overwhelming sight.

It’s still a few hours until midnight and Vernon wonders why he ever thought this to be a good idea.

A few drinks and a lot more dancing later he already feels worn out. He’s almost a hundred percent sure that there’s people doing the worst thing imaginable in his room, and the thought alone makes him want to leave for the rest of the night. He’s way too close to actually ditching all his friends and his sort-of-date, when Seungkwan suddenly yells over the music and the crowd, telling everyone to get to the rooftop. Vernon’s never been so relieved to hear his friend yell. He lets the crowd go out first, Seohyun still by his side. They leave last, Vernon making sure to close the door behind them. He catches a mischievous glint in Seohyun’s eyes, and she challenges him to a race to the staircase at the other end of the building. He lets out a tired sigh, but the girl tugs on his arm - and possibly his heartstrings - in a way he can’t resist. So they run, giggling and being just a little too loud.

It’s only a few minutes until the new year when they finally join the others, out of breath and still laughing. He can see Seohyun’s lips moving, but can’t make out any of it over the noise of all other people present. Suddenly the cacophony turns into clear chanting, and he can faintly recognise Seungkwan who yells “ten” first. They join in to the countdown, fireworks already going off in the distance.

Three. Two. One.

The crowd erupts in cheers, fireworks going off all around them as they enter a new year. Seohyun looks up into Vernon’s eyes, getting on her tiptoes and gently grabbing the collar of his coat. It feels wrong, so wrong, to lead someone on like this, and somehow Vernon still decides to kiss her, his hands settling on her waist as their lips meet. She smiles into the kiss, one of her hands gently moving up to rest on his cheek.

“Happy new year,” Seohyun whispers, still out of breath, resting her forehead against Vernon’s. He doesn’t say it back.

His phone buzzes away on the kitchen counter, your name weakly flashing on the screen. The call disconnects, and the house falls into darkness, before lighting up once again, this time with a text.

“happy new year”

Then it’s dark again.

Soon the days start getting longer and you finally say goodbye to snowy nights. You still dream about draping your scarf around Vernon, late night grocery runs, a kitchen window that’s brighter and doesn’t make you feel like the shell of who you used to be.

However, sleep still doesn’t come easy, it never really did. You occasionally find yourself looking out the same window, the sight comforting you with its continuity. Sometimes all you have is the view and the sill where you dangle your feet into a reality where you don't feel so left behind by life.

Tonight is no different, a blanket over your shoulders as you watch over the city. The distant noise of buzzing life makes you feel at peace, and you’re about to crawl back inside when you hear someone yelling your name. The word almost sounds unfamiliar, not having heard it in a while. You look around for the source of the sound, finally spotting Vernon who blends into the night in his usual all black outfit.

“Hey,” he yells once again, and he continues before you can stop him. “Come down? Please?”

You quickly climb inside, Vernon’s voice drowned out by your heart hammering in your chest. You only put on some slippers as you run out of your apartment, fuzzy sucks on your feet and the same blanket still over your shoulder. The elevator ride seems to take forever, but you finally get down, finding Vernon right outside the building sitting on the stairs. He scrambles to his feet when he hears the door behind him open, staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face. Even though it’s dark, you can see he looks different somehow. Maybe more tired, maybe a little more sad.

“What are you doing here?” The question comes out almost as a whisper.

“I recognized your socks. That sounded a little weird, I’m sorry, I just… Haven’t seen you in a while.”

It’s true, you were focused on your exams and skipped most of your classes whenever you didn’t feel like leaving your apartment for the day. It’s also true that Vernon never called you back or replied to your text since new year’s. He couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eyes after kissing Seohyun, even though he told her everything a few days later. She was very understanding, albeit understandably sad, and they did find good friends in each other with Vernon after all that happened.

“Is that my scarf?” You step closer to him, gently touching the soft fabric.

“I found it in the park. I was gonna bring it back, but then things kind of… happened,” His voice is barely above a whisper and he looks a little too deep into your eyes.

“How’s Seohyun?” You take a step back, and Vernon visibly gulps. Somehow he just knows that you’ve been talking to Seungkwan.

“I think she’s got a girlfriend now, actually. How’s your boyfriend?”

You’re taken aback by his question, his words sharp and purposeful, making you wince. He doesn’t say anything else, holding your stare as if it was a challenge. You feel the tears welling in your eyes, but neither of you move.

“Happy with someone else.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You called me down for this? Really, Vernon?” You snap at him, unwinding the scarf from his neck, tears freely racing down your face and you almost miss the front door as you push it open.

“Fuck you,” you spit at him before slamming the door shut.

Monday morning classes roll around once again, and you find yourself in your usual spot in the lecture hall. For a few weeks you sit alone, Vernon vanishing out of your life along with winter. It’s not until spring finally arrives that a familiar head of messy hair is occupying the seat next to yours by the time you arrive. You quietly settle into your chair, choosing to look everywhere except for the boy next to you. There’s still time until class starts, and you consider leaving to avoid whatever is about to happen, but Vernon is quicker, sliding a lone earphone in front of you on the desk. He patiently waits for you to pick it up and place it in your ear, one of your favourite songs already softly playing. He doesn’t say anything for the rest of the class, doodling away in his notebook as usual, and it feels like winter again. When class is over Vernon hurries to leave, but you proceed to stop him in his tracks to give him the earphone back. He almost looks disappointed.

For a moment it’s only the two of you, getting lost in each other’s eyes and wondering when things turned like this, so distant and unfamiliar.

“Wanna go grab some coffee?” Vernon asks suddenly, even though he sounds a little unsure himself. It all feels like the first Monday you met.

The walk is quiet, but not in the comfortable way you’re used to. He still knows your order by heart, and somehow it just makes your chest feel even more tight. Vernon feels like a stranger and your dearest friend at the same time. Sometimes when you look at him too much you go back to the night where things still felt okay and you wonder if he ever thinks about it - about how badly you wanted to hold his hands, kiss him still lying in the snow.

“Your face is gonna stay like that if you frown so much,” he says nonchalantly as he hands you a to-go paper cup.

“I wish,” your words make him snort into his drink as he’s about to take a sip, and it makes you smile too.

You let Vernon lead the way through the neighbourhood, making small talk about all the things you missed in each other’s lives, although you don’t have much to offer having mostly sat at home. You end up on a park bench next to a small lake, and you watch as the ducks peacefully swim along. You wonder if the water isn’t still too cold for them. Vernon is still fiddling with his cup, almost looking somewhat nervous.

“I missed you,” he says quietly.

“You could’ve texted me.” He doesn’t reply. You do your best not to raise your voice. “At least say something now.”

“What the fuck do you want me to say? Confess my undying love for you? Tell you how I think about you every single day? How guilty I feel that I can’t even bring myself to look you in the eyes?” He’s looking for something, anything in your eyes, but you’re too angry to give it to him that easily.

“Maybe.”

“Oh you’re one to talk, like you’d ever tell me any of it!”

Vernon lets out a frustrated sigh, squeezing the cup in his hands until it buckles. His words fill your head, then your whole body, and you feel like your whole being is vibrating and slowly vanishing at the edges.

Maybe you’ve already fallen hard, hard enough that it did break your body in unspeakable ways. You get up to leave, barely standing on shaky legs, not completely aware of your surroundings. The ringing in your ears gets louder and the air feels a little too thick and the sink is dripping again, and you know you’ll have to get it fixed.

Cold hands come to rest on your face, Vernon’s forehead against yours and you wonder if love is supposed to hurt like this. You close your eyes, the snow is falling and your snowman is smiling at you warmly, your scarf around its neck. A teardrop rolls down your face and you open your eyes slowly.

“Are you okay?”

“Kiss me.”

A sad smile appears on his lips, his hands moving from your face and he wraps his arm around you instead, tucking your face into his neck.

“I promise I will,” He pulls away just enough to see your face. “Another time.”

Your head is still buzzing as he walks you home, gently holding your hand, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand. You’re reluctant to let go when you reach your building, and your hesitation draws a faint smile on Vernon’s face.

He leaves a kiss on your forehead before saying bye.

That night you dream about being a duck, floating on glimmering ponds in the early spring sunset. You wake up crying at 2am.

You’re on your way home after a late night grocery run when your phone starts vibrating in your pocket. Vernon’s incoming call confuses you at such an odd hour, but you pick it up anyway. It’s loud on the other end of the line, loud music and even louder screaming drowning out Vernon’s voice almost completely.

“Where are you?” He yells into the phone.

“Out. Why?” You’re not sure if he’s sober.

He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, then suddenly it’s entirely quiet. You check if he’s ended the call. A loud bang reassures you that he’s still there.

“Someone’s having the worst sex I’ve ever witnessed right in my room. Are you free?” The distress in his voice makes you laugh, and you can imagine the frown on his face too well.

“You can come over if you want to, I’ll be home in a bit.”

He doesn’t need much convincing, so you hang up to finally focus on your groceries, grabbing a few extra drinks and snacks for your sudden guest. He’s sitting on the stairs in front of the building when you get home, listening to music that you can faintly make out from his headphones. He notices you as you halt to a stop right in front of him, a tired look on his face as he looks up at you. He smiles at you still and you can’t help but return the gesture.

You blindly reach into your bag, shuffling around for a can of cola that you bought for him. Your fingers finally wrap around the cold metal, and you hand the drink to Vernon, taking another one out for yourself. You take a seat on the stairs next to him, your knees slightly touching - he doesn’t move, so you don’t, either. The wind quietly shakes the barely-there leaves on the trees, and it moves something within you, too.

“I thought you like parties,” you tease him.

“You don’t know what I saw there. Consider yourself lucky, honestly.”

“I mean, you’re lucky that I’m nice enough to offer you my couch for the night.” He scoffs in response, and bumps his knee into yours.

You wonder if Vernon only exists on Mondays and at night.

His profile is sharp and soft at the same time in the flickering, orange light blinking at you from a nearby street lamp. He seems lost in thought and you don’t have it in yourself to bother him right now, not when everything feels so at peace for once. A few faint stars twinkle in the sky, and the moon looks as full as your heart feels. Spring always knew how to take your troubles away - it even happened a little too easily, the ice around your heart melting with the first golden rays of sunshine.

You know you’re going to be okay.

Almost on instinct you lean your head on Vernon’s shoulder, and you feel his arm circling your waist and squeezing gently, his head coming to rest on top of yours.

Maybe he could help you fix the dripping sink in your bathroom, too.

The lack of sleep finally finds you, the gentle breeze making both of you shiver just enough for you to make your way inside. The elevator has never felt so slow as you wait for it, but when Vernon carefully takes your hand in his, you don’t mind as much anymore. You can feel your face heating up a little, thankful when the elevator dings open. Vernon doesn’t let go of your hand, but you can also tell that his eyes are barely open, so you do your best not to think too much of it even if your skin feels like it’s on fire. You put in your passcode and walk into the small apartment, both of you kicking off your shoes before you lead him into the living room, where he collapses on the couch immediately.

It’s a little endearing somehow, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he struggles to keep his eyes. You fetch him a blanket and leave a toothbrush on the side of the sink, but he’s fast asleep by the time you get back, a throw pillow tucked under his head. You gently cover him with the blanket, and leave to get ready for bed after whispering a “good night” into the dark room.

You have a hard time falling asleep, wondering if he’s going to be there in the morning.

You dream about having his toothbrush in your cup next to yours.

You wake up to the smell of breakfast, worry flooding your mind before you remember that it’s most likely just Vernon. You slowly open your door, peeking into the kitchen to see him in front of the stove, fumbling with a pan and a pair of chopsticks.

“Smells good,” your sudden voice makes him jump, and he almost drops the pan.

“Just because I don’t know how to unlock the front door you don’t get to scare me to death.”

His focus is back on the eggs in front of him, so you slip into the bathroom to brush your teeth. You grab everything without even looking, but the toothbrush feels foreign in your hand. You look at yourself in the mirror and realise that you’re holding the one that you left out for Vernon last night. Then it hits you, he put it in the cup himself.

You quickly finish your morning routine and walk back into the kitchen where he’s sitting at the table, two plates of food set out for both of you. The sun filters in through the sheer curtain, painting everything golden, and you feel like your heart might rip out of your chest with how it’s hammering away.

Breakfast is quiet and peaceful, Vernon showing no signs of being in a hurry. You thank him for making you food as you place the dishes in the sink, only to find him staring at you when you turn back around. His eyes are soft, a smile playing at the corners of his lips, and you feel almost naked under his gaze.

“What?” You know you’re blushing, but you have nowhere to hide in the small kitchen.

“Nothing.”

The smile doesn’t leave his lips still, and you quickly excuse yourself as you rush into your room, feeling too overwhelmed. It’s weird to have someone, especially him, in your kitchen, looking so domestic and so pretty in the early morning sunlight. You can hear him doing the dishes in the other room and it almost makes you cry. By the time you gather yourself enough to face him again he’s getting ready to leave, one of his shoes already on his feet. You watch in silence, and unlock the door for him when he stands up straight.

He’s halfway out the door when he turns back around and presses a kiss to your cheek; your mouth opens and closes as you try to say something. Vernon says bye with a laugh and leaves you standing there, way too flustered to even close the door.

A neighbour appears in the hallway which prompts you to slam the door shut way too quickly and loudly, pressing your back against it and sliding to the floor.

You wonder if you’re still dreaming.

You’re running late to your morning class, having missed your alarm, feeling kind of asleep still. The seat next to yours is empty when you arrive just a few seconds before the professor, and you wish you went back to bed instead of running all the way to school.

The class is halfway through when the door quietly opens and Vernon slips in, two to-go cups in his hands. He looks completely unbothered by the fact that he’s this late as he takes his usual seat. He slides one of the drinks in front of you, your name scribbled on the side of the paper cup. You give him a confused look, but he only nods at you before taking a sip of his coffee. You do the same, quickly realising that he bought you your favourite. Maybe coming to class wasn’t the worst idea.

You leave the lecture together, coming to a halt in front of the building as Vernon spots his friends huddled together in their usual circle.

“There’s gonna be a party tonight,” he turns to you suddenly. “I want you to come.”

His eyes are intense and it makes your heart flutter.

“Okay, I’ll be there. Thank you for the drink.” You give him a soft smile.

“I was gonna be late anyway, so I figured why not.” It’s obvious that he’s not telling the truth, his cheeks turning red along with his ears. It makes you feel warm inside. “I’ll see you tonight?”

“Will you watch the sunset with me before?”

With the way you’re looking at him, he doesn’t think he could say no to you, so he nods and turns to say bye. You stop him, your fingers wrapping around his arm, and you press a quick kiss to his cheek before walking away. He looks even more flustered, his feet glued in place as he watches you disappear into the morning mist.

You can hear his friends faintly as they cheer for him from afar.

It’s already getting dark when you rush out of your apartment towards the address that Vernon texted you. The air is crisp against your skin, and you realise you didn’t dress nearly warm enough to be sitting out in the cold, but it’s too late to go back home. You will yourself to a jogging speed, finally spotting Vernon in front of his complex.

“Please tell me the elevator is working,” you say, still trying to catch your breath. “My body was not made for this.”

“Well…” Vernon starts, but the look in your eyes makes him burst out in laughter. “I’m just fucking with you, it’s fine.”

“You better hope it’s fine, or you’ll get to carry me up to the rooftop on your back,” it’s his turn to give you a distraught look.

Lucky for both of you, the elevator is in working condition, so you only have to take the stairs on the last two floors. Vernon makes a show of opening the door leading up to the rooftop, a fond look on his face as he watches you take in the view. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen you this happy. You turn to him and wrap your arms around him in a tight hug, muttering a “thank you” into his coat. The pink sky, along with the last few rays of sunshine make Vernon look even more angelic than you usually find him, and you wonder if he too can hear how fast and loud your heart is beating. He says something that you can’t hear from being lost in thought, but before you can ask him to repeat himself he’s pulling a blanket from his backpack and putting it down on the ground. You both take a seat, sitting close enough that your thighs are touching, your head almost immediately coming to rest on his shoulder.

The city is quietly buzzing away in the distance, glass buildings glistening pink, birds flying across the horizon. Vernon feels warm and familiar, his head on top of yours and his arm around you. You don’t remember the last time you felt so at peace.

The top of the sky is fading into blue, the last bit of sun still poking out from behind the city, but the stars are already visible. It feels like a moment you’ll remember forever.

You’re getting ready to leave, Vernon reaching a hand towards you to help you up. You watch him fold and put the blanket away in silence, and he freezes when he turns around, his backpack in his hands, finally noticing that you’re looking at him.

“What?”

He looks confused, but you simply step closer instead of replying. Your mind is a mess of incomprehensible thoughts no matter how hard you try to regain control over yourself.

“Can you kiss me?” It’s barely a whisper, your thoughts somewhere far away, somewhere where you’re lying in the snow, eating ramen under neon lights. Somehow, Vernon looks the same kind of dazed.

His bag lands on the ground with a thud, his hands cupping your face as he leans in without thinking, his lips crashing against yours almost hungrily. Your fingers find his collars easily even with your eyes closed, pulling him closer, closer, closer. Your lips move perfectly together, your hearts beating in unison. He tastes like how it feels to wake up next to someone you love, and even though his lips are cold, a warm feeling floods your whole body. You only pull away when your lungs beg you for air, and as your eyes find Vernon’s you can’t help but smile. With his hands still gently resting on your face he wipes away a few stray tears, and you turn your head to the side to press your lips against his palm.

The air feels thick from all the words left unsaid, but they can wait. For now, you’re okay with this.

“I don’t wanna go to that party anymore.”

“I’ve got a better idea.”

You’re sitting at your usual table under the flickering neon lights at the convenience store, already having finished your food. For the first time in months, your chest feels light, and you’re not sure if it’s because of spring or Vernon. You don’t mind either way.

He walks you home, almost kisses you goodnight, but you pull away. He looks at you anxiously, waiting for something to happen.

“Sleep over,” you say in a small voice.

“Your couch isn’t that comfortable,” he’s only half joking, a smirk on his lips and his hands reaching to find yours.

“But my bed is.”

The smile vanishes off his face, his eyes widening, and you’re about to make up an excuse, say that you were only joking, when you notice that he’s blushing. Suddenly he nods, beaming at you, and you mimic his expression, pulling him towards the entrance.

It’s odd, having him this close, especially in your own home after having been alone in it for so long. He smells like your shampoo, and tastes like your toothpaste, and it makes you nervous and excited at the same time, your heart feeling too big for your chest.

You watch with a fond look on your face as he moves around in the apartment, and somehow it feels like this is how it’s always been, his comfortable presence filling a void you weren’t even fully aware of..

In the dark of your room, under the warm covers, he holds you against his chest as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. He looks at you, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips.

“Can I kiss you?” His question makes you let out an airy laugh, but he waits for your answer patiently.

“Only if you promise that you’ll do it again.”

With that, his lips are on yours, softly and slowly. He’s touching you like no one did before, with so much love and patience, that you can’t help but think about how this will break your body in unspeakable ways.

When you wake up, his bag is in the corner of your room, his toothbrush is still next to yours in the cup, and the sink isn’t dripping anymore. He’s still asleep, and you trace his features in your mind, trying to memorise how beautiful he looks even like this.

You know you’ll never love anyone as much as this, not in this lifetime.

A fleeting moment of everything and nothing.

#sorry this is sooo mfing long but i had a lot to say #recs #mutuals #peach

947 notes · View notes

honeylikewords · 7 years ago

Note

okay so now that we have a good understanding of who Benny is, do u got some of those good good hcs for him? let all those benny emotions out my frond

thank u for enabling me, i need enabling

for anyone curious, here is the post talking about and explaining who Benny is! also, here’s a link to the trailer for the movie he’s from! now, without further ado, let’s play a game called “K Gets Self-Indulgent And Cries A Lot About A VERY Unheard-Of Character From A Largely Unknown Body Of Work!”

hfjdkjf okay so here we go

Benny is actually really good at doing internal, rapid calculations. He learned to go quick calculations in his head while doing football in order to tally scores and to do the math on how many (and what kind) of goals his team would need to score, how far down the field they’d have to move, etc. He’s also got a bit of a natural gift for statistics and they come to him easily. However, he doesn’t consider himself very smart, so he never talks about it, and would HATE to be labelled as a number-crunching geek.

Benny can play guitar and enjoys it. He never studied, but learned from his dad and from trying to emulate records he’d play in his room. He had a band briefly during high school comprised of himself and a few of his friends. They were called the Rough Riders. They were terrible.

Benny gets skittish around cats but loves dogs. The only reason he didn’t have a dog with him on the streets is because he didn’t wanna subject a dog to his shitty lifestyle, and would prefer a dog be able to live in a comfortable home with regular food and a loving family rather than have to sleep on the streets with a smelly, weird loser. Growing up, he has a German Shepard named Yankee. Unfortunately, Yankee didn’t make it out of the house fire. Still, every time Benny sees a German Shepard, he thinks of Yankee, both with fondness and melancholy. If he were ever to get a dog again, he’d want to adopt a shelter dog or pound puppy, and if that dog just happened to be a Shepard-mix… all the better, he’d say.

Benny never has had an actual long-term girlfriend and doesn’t really know how relationships work. The only model he has for adult relationships were his parents (who were functional, kind, and loving), and what he sees on television, in movies, on billboards (although, truth be told, he doesn’t watch much TV anymore and he rarely goes to movies. He sneaks into some movies every now and then, but it’s not very often). As such, all he knows about relationships is a little warped. The only relationships he’s been remotely near as of late have been manipulative, exclusively sexual, and unfulfilling. He hasn’t really bothered to seek out a girlfriend, knowing he has nothing to provide. He’d be more of a burden than a romantic prospect, and he has severe self-hate problems that make is difficult for him to imagine himself as attractive. Plus, the layer of grime and stink doesn’t do him any favors…

Benny does not think of himself as handsome. He was very popular in high school, what with his quick wit, his handsome features, and his proficiency in sports. He’s got all the makings of a great, attractive man, but he just can’t see if for himself. The incident also severely impacted his ability to properly assess himself, and he’s now more confused than ever and full of more self-hate than before. But even in high school, he was hardly aware of his handsomeness. He always considered himself to have a messed up face and unattractive features, and to be rather unintelligent.

Benny keeps up to date with sports, even on the streets. He would fish around in trash cans for newspapers, watch the TV is bars or in store windows, listen to the radio from outside doors or next to parked cars. Sometimes, if he was lucky, he could sneak into the stadiums and watch for himself. His favorite sport is, of course, football, but he also keeps up with baseball. His favorite team for baseball is the Yankees, and for football it’s the Giants.

Benny has harsh music taste and refuses to listen to “that new trash”. He likes rap (prefers old school), likes older, vintage rock and roll, and won’t hear anything electronic. He also likes country (Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson, particularly). He likes to go to older, more low-key bars and watch young people play at open mics because it reminds him of when he used to play.

Benny often talks about how he needs to keep moving, but often fantasizes about getting out of New York and moving to a small town in the middle of nowhere where no one knows him and the cost of living is low. He’d buy a small house, get a dog, get a job. He’d prefer to work for himself, obviously, and is very independent, but he thinks it’d be nice. Before the fire, Benny’s biggest dream was to acquire enough money to set his parents and brother up comfortably, to go to school and graduate as a business major, and to own a sports team. Now that he’s aged and suffered, he’d be happy just to be on his own somewhere quiet, unbothered and allowed to have time to grow and heal.

Benny’s full name is Benjamin Alphonse Lambo. He’s half Italian and half Jewish. His father was an Italian Catholic and his mother was raised in the Jewish part of Brooklyn. He celebrated both religions and cultures; he is mostly religiously Catholic but culturally Jewish. He still celebrates Christmas and Hanukkah, even though both holidays remind him of his parents in a heart-aching way.

Benny’s favorite season is the transition between winter and spring, when things finally start to warm up. New York burns and sweats in the summer, and freezes in the winter. The falls can be bitter cold, but they’re usually bearable, but spring is best, even if it rains a lot. The seasons are harsh out there on the streets, but spring is often pleasant. The nights are cool and slightly damp, but in a refreshing way, and the days are sunny and warm without being overbearing. It’s the easiest season to endure, and also his favorite even aside from practicality; he likes the greenery of the trees and the blooming of the flowers. Everyone seems to be in a better mood with the return of the sun, and he feels more at ease.

Benny has a terrible temper and is not patient at all. He will not sit through the trailers at the movies. He will not wait in lines. He always likes to try and find the fastest, most efficient way to do things. He has a bit of an instant-gratification problem, and hopefully can be balanced out by spending his time with someone who is patient and enduring instead of short-fused like him.

Benny used to want to be a father as good as his dad was, but now severely doubts his ability to be a good spouse or parent. He still, in the back of his mind, wishes he could be part of a family, but it’d take a very long time, a lot of therapy, and a lot of internal growth before he’d ever be ready to leap that hurdle.

Benny’s favorite foods are super simple, but he hasn’t had a good meal in years, so even the most basic meals are like haute cuisine for him. If he was ever able to eat a homecooked meal again, he might break down crying from joy. His old favorites used to be pizza, spaghetti, fried salmon, and anything grilled. His favorite fruits and vegetables are apples, peaches, strawberries, potatoes, peppers and carrots. He likes food that has a good, strong bite to it. He also is really fond of hard candies and likes to crunch them noisily.

Benny hates seeing kids homeless and will make a more concerted effort to get them to safety than he would ever make for himself. He knows he’s beyond saving, but he refuses to see young children or teenagers put into his situation. They deserve to go to school and have bright futures, safe futures, happy futures. He gets furious with the system that prevents them from getting what they need, and has been known to get off his ass and work to make sure they get processed properly. He will put up a huge stink to make sure of it.

Benny can’t draw and has terrible handwriting. His hands are kinda shaky and so he has trouble writing out clear and distinct characters. Semi-related, but he also has a strained gate and walk because of an injury he sustained to his leg several years ago. He limps and walks almost bow-leggedly now, and it’s quite the strut to behold.

Benny doesn’t read much “literature” but was really fond of comic books growing up, so he wants to see all the Marvel/DC movies. It’s kind of adorable to see how psyched he gets. Even if they’re not “good”, he doesn’t mind. His favorite heroes are Batman, Superman and Punisher and Iron Man. He also loves Spider-Man and Wolverine!

It’s been years since Benny ate ice cream, and he misses it sometimes. His favorite kind of ice cream was a Neapolitan sundae with hot fudge and a cherry on top, and he liked to eat them with his brother. It was kind of their thing to make sundaes and have competitions to see who could make a “better” sundae. He misses those days a lot.

I have a billion more but for now I will leave you with these because if I keep writing I won’t ever stop

#messages #benny lambo #a line in the sand #me? doing Too Much? being Extra(TM) over Nothing?#absolutely.#kinda-chinese

12 notes · View notes

mayonakano-archive · 2 years ago

Note

Whoaa much enstars lore... and ruri is adorable wait ... also are there canon aliens in enstars??

Tell me more about leo's depression travel arc/alien abduction if you'd like ? I'm fascinated, he's just. He's justa. Liddle guy<3

OH YEAH RURI IS IMPLIED TO BE AN ALIEN AND THE ONE THAT PUT ENGIRLS INTO A TIMELOOP (Uhm, hold on *shuffling papers* okay! Strap in Kippy beloved, this is gonna take a bit!)

Okay. let me explain that whole "EnGirl is a timeloop thing". actually that's about all i know. Ruri (I think?) is implied to A) be an Alien and B) Have put the EnGirls timeline into a loop so it never ends. Why? Idk. I don't know much about EnGirls. Also EnGirls takes place at the same time as Enstars !!-Era so some people speculate !! is also stuck in a timeloop by virtue of that, since the two DO cross over with Ruka/Leo and Suzu/Mika being related.

Anyway! Onto the shut-in Leo arc aka my favorite Leo arc bc he's SUCH a fucked up little guy. So! So!!!! Okay. Okay. I don't know your baseline knowledge so I'm gonna assume you know Nothing and explain it all. Ummmm. Readmore'd for the sake of everyone's sanity bc I go Insane(tm) about Leo. Sorry for the essay kippy i love him so much

OKAY. A story in Three Parts. Part 1: i don't actually have a name for this part its just prelude and talking about the War mostly. I go on "tangents" throughout here that mostly just add extra context to certain things. IMPORTANT NOTES: There's mentions of ANIMAL ABUSE and BLOOD. Also just a lot of SAD STUFF. Thought I'd warn you!

So! Leo! Leader of the Mega unit - [TANGENT 1: MEGA UNITS. Before Units were split up into the 2-5 (Mama is an exception) that they are now, Units were MASSIVE and guild-like. There could be hundreds of people in one unit. One of the side effects of the War was the dissolution of Mega-units] - Chess, also known as "Backgammon" or "Orthello", but when Leo was put in charge he changed it back to Chess. It's heavily implied that Eichi was behind the former leader before Leo getting ousted from his position, allowing Leo to step into the leadership position.

NOW! This is where it gets MESSY. Leo, as you might well know, is a character who loves far too hard, far too fast, and far too much. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it contributes to his downfall. Once he's put into this leadership position, it's revealed that Chess is coming apart at the seams, more or less. Many members just ride off of Chess' good name, and slack on actually being an idol. [TANGENT 2: WHO'S PART OF CHESS (That we care about)? Primarily Ritsu, Leo and Izumi! Tsukasa has NOT entered Yumenosaki yet, Ritsu slacked a lot but still did occasionally go to practice, and Arashi... Tbh I'm wishy-washy on her position but she generally doesn't go to practice or doesn't care much about the unit so while she might be part of it, I don't tend to count her at this stage. Leo is the leader, and Izumi acts as his right-hand man and protector.] So, Leo is kind of also fraying apart at the seams because Chess is falling apart and threatening to splinter into sub-units, especially once Eichi introduces the new Live system; but Leo's ultimately incapable of holding them together and they fragment. Many of these sub-units take names inspired by Chess pieces - Knight was already taken, so Izumi suggests Knights. Leo and Izumi are the founding members of Knights. Sometime around here Leo talks to one of the splinter units he's meant to fight, and offers them a deal. They can be his friend, but never use his songs again; OR they can use his songs all they'd like, but they'd throw away any chance of friendship with him they add. Everyone chose to use his songs. So. After Knights is formed, Eichi starts using Leo (and his friendship with Leo) to destroy units he doesn't care for, and to eliminate the sub-units of Chess. Under the stress of destroying people he once cared for, realizing the members of Chess - who Leo'd do anything for and loved dearly - were only using him for his songs, and his relationship with Izumi getting messy, Leo cracks.

[TANGENT 3: LEO AND EICHI. Leo and Eichi met in the hospital. Leo had broken his arm protecting the cat Little John, who resides in the archery range. Delinquents often hung out in the archery range as it was far from the school, and once day decided to terrorize Little John by shooting her with arrows and trying to burn her. Leo protects her by picking her up and running around the range to keep her away from them, but this leads to him slipping, falling, protecting Little John, and breaking his arm. It's implied the break was bad, as Madara finds him via Little John's meowing in a pool of his own blood, composing with his blood, and saying the pain gave him inspiration as he's "Never felt such pain before" (A REAL QUOTE.) - Also Leo calls Eichi "Tenshi".]

PART 2: SHUT-IN ERA

So. Under all the weight of crushing people's dreams, Izumi's pressure on him, and everything else, Leo breaks and disappears. He becomes a shut-in, forcing himself to compose because he doesn't think anyone will love him if he can't compose. It's implied that he bites his hands till they bleed when he can't compose, and he generally just stops taking care of himself. In Lionheart Izumi visits the Tsukinaga household, and Ruka ends up crying while begging Izumi to talk to Leo, which prompts Leo to come out of his room to tell Izumi off for "making Ruka cry". It's noted by Izumi at this point that Leo can barely stand and looks terrible.

[TANGENT 4: LEO AND IZUMI. Leo and Izumi have been friends for A While, I don't really know how long tbh? Since they were first years, I think? And they're extremely close. Izumi is. Not A Great Person during this whole thing, and while Leo's giving Izumi nothing but love and praise Izumi scolds him and tells him to do better. Izumi himself notes that he made a mistake by being so harsh on Leo. Izumi's actually really hard on himself for his part in Leo breaking, but Leo constantly forgives him and even says during Next Door that "[Izumi] is the only one who thinks he did anything wrong." (Might not be the exact quote, but close enough) So. Leo's entirely forgiven him and thinks him blameless.]

So. Leo just kind of... Shuts himself away. Composes, or, tries to compose. He often says that he can hear melodies in his head, and during this era especially they've disappeared, which only add to his slump. Sometime during this, Madara decides enough is enough and sends Leo travelling. It's never outright stated where Leo goes, or what he does, but he was gone for most of his Second Year, between disappearing and shutting himself in his house. It's important to note that nobody but Madara knows what happened to Leo when he disappeared. (iirc) Madara does bring Leo back to the stage at one point in Concerto, where he manages to get Leo to perform with him. Izumi, I believe, says that Madara "saved Leo" but that Knights "brought him back to the sage" but. Zuzu. Bestie. He performed with Madara first before he rejoined Knights??? Anyway.

Leo shows up again around the start of his third year, sneaking around the school and trying to get a feel for Tsukasa. Tbh I forget exactly when Ritsu properly started joining in but I think that was during the War Era, and Arashi joined in around then, too? So Knights was a 3-person, then 4-person unit for a while. Izumi, Ritsu, Arashi, and Tsukasa. Leo then challenges them to a duel - Judgement. To determine if Knights is worthy of still existing. During Judgement Leo teams up with Eichi, Nazuna, and Kuro to form a temporary unit called "Knights Killers" while Knights is made up of the aforementioned members. Knights manages to tie the Judgement, and Leo realizes that he can't dissolve Knights, as they belong to the others just as much as their his unit. So. Leo rejoins Knights. Huzzah!

PART 3: WHAT'S HE DOIN NOW?

Leo Duels Tsukasa to see if he's worthy of the crown and title of ousama when he graduates. I'm gonna be real I don't remember a lot of this story but Tsukasa does get Leo's approval in the end. So. Leo and Izumi graduate, and Tsukasa takes over as the leader of Knights. Leo and Izumi live together in Italy (after Izumi says that he needs to keep an eye on Leo) and Izumi works as Leo's "manager" to make sure he's not spreading himself too thin.

[TANGENT 5: THAT WHOLE THING. In The DF debut event that I haven't read, Leo's revealed to be taking on a bunch of solo work and spreading himself super thin. The only reason Mama gets involved is because he's concerned about Leo. After this, in Next Door, Izumi says he needs to keep an eye on Leo and make sure he's not spreading himself too thin, hence letting Leo stay with him in Italy, and becoming his 'manager'.]

#WOOF. SORRY FOR WRITING AN ENTIRE FUCKING ESSAY IN YOUR ASK KIPPY #anyway listen to Crush of Judgement if you haven't. It's Knights Killers song and it slaps SOOOOOOOOO hard!!!!!!!!!!#so uh. yeah. tbh a lot of my memory of the stories i've read have faded so!!! a slightly abridged Leo essay for you :)#wtl;dr - Leo's a fucked up little guy but he got better <3 #kippy ⚡#leo.asks!#yk what this gets main tags priviledges #leo tsukinaga #enstars

39 notes · View notes

thotsforvillainrights · 2 years ago

Note

okok how about an Adult(tm) request for me and ur other dom-top followers- could we get the reader fingering/overstimming Shigaraki to help him forget how much pressure he's under? I know that man is under so much stress, he deserves to be taken care of <3

(ofc if ur not super comfortable with writing the action then maybe just a lead-up to it happening or taking care of him afterwards?)

(I’m totally ok with it but I’m definitely a little new when it comes to this one so please forgive me if I write it wrong! I might be easing into this one with a kinda short scenario but if it ends up not being enough then please feel free to ask for more when the box opens again. I’ll do my best!)

~Relax~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

Curious scarlet eyes watched wearily through dampened, sweat soaked hair. His limbs sprawled out any which way on top of the bed covers while you prepared yourself for the next few minutes. When you’d caught glimpse of him earlier in the day you could feel your heart sink at the sight. His posture had somehow gotten worse and you weren’t sure when’s the last time you saw him eat something that wasn’t just a quick snack.

Even with newly acquired funds, he didn’t take the time to fuel his body properly.

Exhaustion was apparent by the way his eyes lazily looked over to you when you returned from your errand runs. He didn’t bother protesting you grabbing him and leading him to the room since he didn’t have the energy to really complain to you. He spoke few words when you’d pressed him to the bed and asked him to raise his legs for easy access. “What are you doing?” His voice rang out in genuine curiosity. “I’m taking care of you.” You quietly shushed him while removing the fabric barrier between the two of you. There wasn’t a complaint from him as he’d been down this road before with you. His head turned to the side and his vision settled on nothing in particular as he could feel you fondling around down there. He jerked from the sudden chill as your finger applied a gel type of lubricant with a gentle motion to him. He’d finally relaxed under the application when you began rubbing around and exploring. A small huff slipped past his lips as his impatience began to show.

His eyes caught glimpse of you through the hair covering his face just barely, wet with sweat. You smiled at him and reassured him through utter and complete silence. Your actions apparent in the way you took extra time to caress him. Finally he relaxed under you, still exhausted but turned on at the same time. When you finally slipped a single finger into him was when he felt the most at peace he’d felt all week. He could feel each and every care and concern melt from his being while you took perfect care of him. He allowed his hips to move ever so slightly to meet with your actions. When he began to moan quietly you’d decided to reward him by inserting a second finger. By now, all of his current worries and pressing issues seem to have faded away completely as he focused only on you and the pleasure you were giving to him. He started to sing praises to you. A cocktail mixture of your name and ‘I love you’ falling from his lips while chasing his orgasm through your actions. You watched with intent as his chest rapidly rose and fell, his breath picking up and becoming more and more out of erratic. His groaned when his eyes met yours.

Watery eyes begging you to keep going.

He came for you, calling out your name one last time and feeling his world spinning around him. You decided to keep it going, adding another finger and waiting to see if he would consent to the extra stretching. He looked at you with teary eyes and nodded only once to let you know he was ready. You replied by moving your fingers again. You kept this up for a little longer while he began getting louder for you. It was almost too much to handle but he loved it all the same. The sensitivity did nothing toward driving him away from your touch. He held it together until the very end...until he came for you once more and allowed you to see him at his most vulnerable. He only hoped you could see just how wild you drove him. He hoped you knew from his expressions just how much he loved you and how he cherished your company at his side. While you took time to take care of him, cleaning his skin and kissing along even the most damaged parts of him, he sat there admiring you silently.

#minors dni #minor dni #smut #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #shigiraki tomura #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

17 notes · View notes

nat-20s · 3 years ago

Text

Wonderful! Au Part 7! (also on ao3 here) another episode only installment, and obnoxiously fluffy! Have fun!

~*~

Martin, tired: Hello everybody! Welcome, or welcome back, to a very low energy episode. We have had, as the kids say, A Week Tm.

Jon, equally tired, but fond: Is that as the kids say?

Martin: I don't know, and perhaps worse, I don't really care. I guess I could ask Jeremiah next time he's over, but I'm not sure if that would actually help.

Jon: Shockingly, I don't think two year olds have their finger on the beating pulse of youth culture.

Martin: Hmm, maybe not. Speaking of Jeremiah, he's part of why the format of this episode is gonna be a bit different than our regular. On top of me dealing with a frankly obscene amount of inventory management, and Jon being swamped with grant writing-

Jon: I never want to look at proposal guidelines again-

Martin: we were on babysitting duty for our favourite neighborhood hellion-

Jon: Hey, Jeremiah is a very sweet kid! I know he's a toddler, but we shouldn't be slandering him anyway.

Martin: One, we're not even using his real name, I don't think that counts as slander, and two, exactly, he's a toddler, he's by default a hellion.

Jon, teasing: This coming from the person that actually wants one?

Martin: I..look, if anything, the last few days have shown we should not be permanent parents.

Jon: But?

Martin:...There's no but.

Jon: I don't believe you! Are you lying for my benefit or the audience's? Because someone spent the last five days wearing one of the largest grins I've ever seen, exhausted as it may have been.

Martin: Okay! Fine, I admit, I liked having a kid around. I still think it would be a bad idea to do it full time, but I dunno. I wish we weren't both only children or something. We would make such good uncles.

Jon: Should I should have taken that teaching job after all?

Martin: Perhaps. After all,

Martin, singsong: An English teacher, is really someone!

Jon and Martin, singing together: If only you, had be-come one!

Jon: Honestly, though, I was considerably underqualified. I'm much more suited to my current job, even if it doesn't have quite the same impact on the "shaping of the next generation" or whatnot.

Martin: Wait, you actually care about qualifications now? When did that change?

Jon: This coming from Mister "master's degree in parapsychology"? And it was probably around the time that the world ended from taking on a workload I was ill-suited for.

Jon:...

Jon: Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Martin: Oh, of course. Definitely nothing literally apocalyptic in our pasts, no siree, nothing to see or speculate about or make weirdly involved forums for here. Uh, anyway, long introduction not so short: Both of us have been averaging about 4 hours of sleep, so any sort of actual research was not on the table.

Jon: If any of you are wondering why we didn't just say that we're both very much worn out and thus we'll be taking a week off, it's because we're both deeply, deeply stubborn.

Martin: It's one of our best shared qualities that has never caused any conflict between us, ever.

Jon: In fairness, sheer stubbornness does account for, what, 75% of the reason that either of us are still alive? And it hasn't caused a major conflict between us in a good three years.

Martin: That's true. We've become a deeply boring, relatively conflict free couple. Which fucking rules, by the way. To all the couples out there: I highly recommend being boring. It is so nice. We've gotten to go to the farmer's market so many times.

Jon: You do love the farmer's market. I would say that it's the access to fresh produce, but I think you just like the attention that one yarn seller gives you. Can't believe you would take advantage of a crush to get discounts on wool. How did I marry such an opportunist?

Martin: Ollie does not have a crush on me. They're just friendly to everyone.

Jon: Bullshit. I certainly never get an extra skein or stitch markers or delicate fabric cleaner tossed in my bag. Actually, I think I've been charged more for committing the crime of having married you before they could.

Martin: I'm..70% sure that's not true, but every sentence we speak, we stray further from even pretending to be on topic. So, to everybody listening, this is the itty bitty episode! Basically, we're only doing small wonders and user submissions. If you want details or backstory for things we like, too bad, come back next week. Jon, I believe you're first this week?

Jon: Oh, right. My first small wonder is cat names.

Martin: Delightful, but unsurprising. Though, I would've expected either more or less specificity. Why cat names as opposed to pet's names in general, or, like, military title names?

Jon: Well that's simple enough. I've simply never met a misnamed cat, even if the name itself wasn't to my personal tastes, and I think that speaks to the wonderful universality of cats.

Martin: This, of course, implies that you have met animals that were misnamed.

Jon: Oh, I have. I once met a papillion dog named Meatball.

Martin: Now I know you don't like food names in general for pets, but are you sure that Meatball didn't suit the dogs personality? I've known some "Meatballs" in my lifetime.

Jon, only half-mock offended: Of course it didn't fit, Martin. She was a lady. A nervous, jittery lady, but a lady nonetheless.

Martin, laughing: And what, you've never met a dignified cat with an undignified name, or vice versa? Would you be okay with our cat being named Meatball?

Jon: I would be upset if our cat was named Meatball, because we named her and we're above that sort of thing, but, technically speaking, she could have been Meatball in another lifetime and it wouldn't have been wrong. You see, all cats are a mix of both extremely austere and little baby idiot.

Martin: Oh, is that the scientific terminology?

Jon: It is. Now, while there's probably some amount of, er, normative determinism or confirmation bias or something that results in a cat with a more dignified name seeming to possess more of that austerity, as all cats have both, any name can, potentially, fit. Hence why it's wonderful.

Martin: I..accept your proposal for now, but I think more research needs to be done. Maybe we should visit the shelter this weekend and test your hypothesis.

Jon: Hmm. I think we may need to visit multiple shelters, actually. A large sample size is necessary for any sort of veracity, obviously.

Martin, imitating Jon tone: Obviously.

Jon: Glad you agree. What's your first small wonder?

Martin: Tofu!

Jon: I..didn't realize you liked that much?

Martin: Well, I don't get it very often since I know you can't stand the texture, even though it is not like 'worse scrambled eggs', and you're a horrible food thief-

Jon: Lies and slander. We readily share. If I'm a horrible food thief, you have committed the exact same, if not worse, crime as myself.

Martin: Well, we are thick as thieves.

Jon, groaning: You're thick as something alright

Martin: Rude! My beloved husband-

Jon: -uh huh-

Martin: whom I love and trust with my most tender of hearts-

Jon: -an oddly cannibalistic turn of phrase-

Martin, badly suppressing laughter: Oh, my god. I want a divorce, then I can put tofu in as many dishes as I like. I'll triple my protein intake.

Jon: It'd never go through. I'll burn the papers. No, wait, I'll burn down the legal offices where the papers are kept.

Martin: Hmm. While my experiences with it have been, uh, varied to say the least, I do have to admit that arson is one of the more attractive crimes of passion. I suppose I'll take you back.

Jon, flat: I'm so very grateful.

Jon, genuine: You do have yet to actually tell me why you think tofu is wonderful, love.

Martin: It's just a good food! It's neutral enough that you can toss it in pretty much anything with a sauce, you can bake it, you can fry it, whatever. Plus it's what? two? Three quid? I spent many years of my life living off the cheapest, saltiest approximation of noodles you could imagine, and half a pack of tofu, a little bit of sesame oil, and some green onions went a long way to both making it more filling and less sad.

Martin: Plus, I feel like it often gets decried for being something it's not? It's so often viewed as a meat substitute or the vegan alternative option, and so when people try it, they often go in with a false preconceived notion of what it's going to be like, and then end up disappointed. They're all like, 'ugh, this doesn't taste like turkey!' and yeah, of course it doesn't. It's the oatmeal raisin cookie of the protein world, a perfectly good and tasty treat on its own, but if you want chocolate chip, it's not gonna work.

Jon: Martin you don't even like oatmeal raisin. I'm the only one that ever eats them out of the multipacks.

Martin: Well, yeah, but I don't like oatmeal raisin because of its flavor, not because I think it should be chocolate chip and fails. It illustrates my point. Also, just for balance, is your next small wonder oatmeal raisin cookies?

Jon: No, though, maybe one of these weeks. They are good. But no, um, my next small wonder is being married.

Martin, let out a high bark of a laugh: Being married is a small wonder?!

Jon: Small wonders doesn't mean a lack of importance! Or even significance in our lives. Half the time we even end up spending just as much time chattering on about them as the things we actually research. But, yes, I didn't feel like researching the concept of being married. For one, a lot of the history of it is depressing and patriarchal, and for two, it's not something I really feel any need to elaborate on. Being married. I very much enjoy it. I recommend it for anybody that's found someone that they want to marry, and who wants to marry them. I really recommend being married to Martin Blackwood, I think I would enjoy it significantly less if it was to anybody else, but one: we typically try to make the wonderful things in this show applicable to more than just ourselves, and two: I got there first, so I believe the appropriate thing to say here would be; neener neener and/or everyone else can go suck it, Ollie.

Martin: Well...

Jon: Well, what?

Martin: Saying you got there first is technically not true-

Jon: What?!

Martin, laughing like a bastard: Sorry, sorry! Couldn't resist! Jon, you already know that you're my first real realationship, how would be married before fit that?

Jon: Hence my surprise at the notion! I cannot believe you! I give you my trust, my earnestness, and belief-

Martin [only laughs harder]

Jon: and you throw it in my face for a bit. I take back everything, being married is a nightmare, because sometimes your partner thinks he a fucking comedian and you just have to put up with him because you love him and want to live the rest of your life with him or some such nonsense. Not worth it, if you ask me. My turn to ask for the divorce.

Martin: Babe, hate to break it to you, but both of us are guilty of doing bits that the other doesn't like, it's an integral part of a healthy marriage, and secondly, you knew who I was long before I proposed. You should've said no when you had the chance.

Jon: Hang on, you proposed?

Martin: Yeah? This isn't part of a bit, of course I proposed. I'm even pretty sure you were there. The whole visit back to Scotland trip? I finally made you a sweater and said it was because we would now be immune to the boyfriend curse?

Jon: No, no, I remember all that, but it wasn't the proposal. It was a reaffirmation of the proposal. We had already decided to get married.

Martin: Well, yeah,, I wasn't just gonna spring that on you, we had had conversations beforehand-

Jon: No, I mean, I had already proposed. I asked you to marry me a good three years earlier, and you said yes, which is a proposal by any definition that I know.

Martin: Jon, love, darling, apple of my eye, fire of my soul, I mean this in the nicest way possible, what the everloving fuck are you talking about?

Jon: In the ambulance ride when we, uh, moved here. It was the thing I said to you the second I saw your eyes were open.

[An audible pause is left in the recording.]

Martin: That does not count.

Jon: How does it not count?! I asked you to marry me, you very emphatically said yes, that's the de facto definition of an accepted marriage proposal!

Martin: It doesn't count because you were half-delirious with blood-loss, and I had a traumatic brain injury that the hospital was very surprised I made a full recovery from. No court in the world would consider anything we said then more than pain driven ramblings, let alone, I dunno, contractually binding.

Jon: Well, I knew what I was saying well and clear. Just because it was desperate doesn't mean it wasn't sincere. I didn't realize that you weren't as cognizant when you accepted.

Martin, snorting: Yeah, didn't really need to be cognizant to say yes. I've wanted to marry you since the train ride to Scotland.

Jon: Wait, really? Martin, we hadn't even been on a date.

Martin: And yet we were on the lamb together, which I honestly think is more romantic than sitting in some restaurant somewhere trying to get through icebreakers. Also, back up, from your perspective we've been engaged since 2019? What did you think we were doing in the interim?

Jon: Uhh..

Martin: Yes?

Jon: There are people that have long engagement periods, and it's not exactly like we were in any sort of position to get married for awhile. Especially not that first year.

Martin: Okay? And?

Jon: And..I sort of thought you had changed your mind. For awhile. Was rather surprised that you kept living with me, considering that, on the worst nights, I was convinced you were going to storm off and leave me forever any minute now. Hence why your proposal was rather relieving.

Martin: Oh, Jon, love. That is so very ridiculous, and so very you, and so very close to many of my own fears and doubts. Do you have any idea how terrified I was to float the idea of marriage to you? Half the time I was convinced I was just meant to keep you company until you found someone better. And, Christ, we'd, from your perspective, been engaged the whole damn time. Fuck.

[Jon, after a beat, starts laughing. It has a slightly hysterical edge to it. Martin joins in. It takes a minute for the laughter to subside enough for them to speak again.]

Jon: I'm rapidly realizing that our entire romantic relationship would've been, if not more successful, a hell of a lot faster if we weren't both complete fools.

Martin: You're realizing that now? I think I've known that since the CV incident. I've definitely known it since the Lonely.

Jon, with a slightly tired chuckle:Yes, yes, something probably should've tipped me off earlier. Shockingly, observation of our own personal romantic trends is not always a strong suit of mine.

Jon: Anyway, please tell me you have another small wonder, this has gotten wildly of track.

Martin: Since we're talking about marriage anyway, I think my next small wonder is having a shared reference in your wedding vows. Our friends had "I have been, and always shall be, your friend" in theirs, and I made Jon cry with a slightly altered Lord of the Rings quote in ours.

Jon: First off, we were both openly weeping long before that point, secondly, I defy anybody to have been through half of what we have and then have the love of their life look them in the eyes and tell them "Leave you? I never intend to. I am going with you, if you climb to the moon" without at least tearing up.

Martin: There wasn't a dry eye in the audience, either. Granted, the audience was only 20 people, but that was also literally the only time I've seen Eloise show a strong emotion, so I'm pretty smug about it.

Martin, soft: I still feel exactly the same, you know. If you're climbing to the moon, I'll make sure the rope is strong enough for two.

Jon, soft: I know, love.

Jon: Though, to be fair, the moon is also significantly more pleasant than many places we've been.

Martin: God, I hate how much that's true. Look at this barren, oxygenless rock, at least it's not actively trying to kill us. Practically a honeymoon location.

[Martin sighs]

Martin: I am so tired. Let's do the user submissions then take a very long nap.

Jon: Please.

Martin: So, first submission is from Josie; They find it wonderful getting cards from their friends. They say they're lucky to have so much love in their life and have friends that care enough to send them things. That is wonderful Josie! We have a drawer in our house dedicated to every loving card we've ever received since the move, and they're always such a nice reminder of the people in our lives.

Jon: We should really organize that drawer, but, yes, agree with the sentiment. Even the cards from people that are no longer in our lives are lovely, I think. Those connections are very much meaningful for both of us, whether they're active or not.

Martin: That's very true. Next submission is from Lys, who submits the sound of leaves crunching under your feet in the fall. Ah, that's a classic.

Jon: I just felt myself relax imagining it. I wish it was autumn.

Martin: Don't we all? Alright, for the last submissions, I'm grouping them together as they follow a similar theme. Jadwiga submits the feeling of waking up well into the morning with the sun shining through the window and your cat laying next to you, and Oran submits when a dog falls asleep with its head in your lap.

Jon: I can heartily recommend at least one of those, considering that's how we try to wake up most mornings. The Duchess is a dutiful darling girl who spends every night with us, and she's usually still there when us humans rise.

Martin: I bet you'll agree with the other when I finally convince you to get me a dog for my birthday.

Jon: It hasn't happened yet, so I wouldn't hold your breath.

Martin: But you don't even dislike dogs! You're just as happy to pet them when they pass by as I am.

Jon: Being fine with an animal isn't the same thing as wanting to adopt one for yourself! We don't even know if The Duchess would put up with a dog.

Martin: I bet she would. I bet we could get a big senior dog who's the calmest animal you've ever met with those soft eyes and a little grey on the muzzle and she would cuddle up in an instant. And we did say we should visit a shelter or three this weekend..

Jon: I think you're rather callously taking advantage of my exhausted state, but I suppose we can look.

Martin: Hell fuckin yeah. So, I think that'll close out the episode, and as we always say at the end, uh, go take a nap and get a dog. Not necessarily in that order.

#wonderful! au #jonmartin #tma #jon sims #martin blackwood #my fic #thank you to everyone that submitted!!!#also; i am offically out of ideas for installments #more may come later but i make no promises!

143 notes · View notes