#me: yeah i kinda just . eat snacks throughout the day my diet is Not that great

[caninecowboy]

hehe big dyke is coming over to make me dinner tonight i am Very Excited

[wndmxmffs]

Sleepover

Pairing: natasha romanoff x fem!reader

Word Count: 1.6K

Warning: basically none

Summary: the reader has a huge crush on Natasha but she’s not entirely sure about the redhead’s feelings, so she’s been trying to keep it a secret which might not work out in the end... I used prompt 29. Shut up and kiss me.

A/N: this is for #Emma’swritingchallenge (@retrobhaddie)! thank you for the chance bby, hope you’ll like it <3 

It all started with the first glance you took at her. She was there to welcome you when you first entered the compound, when you officially became an Avenger. You, of course, had already heard a lot about the mysterious redhead called Black Widow as she was one of the most important members of the famous Avengers who had already saved millions of lives several times. You had seen pictures and drawings of her but none of them showed her actual beauty, the one you saw in front of you when you first met. It wasn’t love at first sight, but you definitely did develop a tiny crush on her which had just grown and grown throughout the years you’d spent together fighting the evil and lingering around in the compound. You soon found yourself fantasizing about having Natasha as your girlfriend and that was the moment when you realised you were actually in love with her. You had always tried your absolute best to keep your feelings from ruining something so amazing as your friendship with Natasha because you had always felt like your feelings would never be mutual. A woman like her would never love someone like you, right? Well, wrong. The truth was and had always been, that Natasha did feel the same about you but she was one of the worst when it came to feelings, so she usually just bottled them up and hid them from you, afraid that you wouldn’t reciprocate her feelings which would lead to the end of your friendship and Natasha would be hurt just again. She thought it was better this way, so she continued suffering silently, just like you, until one day, she asked you if you were down for a sleepover in her room: staying up until the birds start chirping while watching anything that popped up on Netflix and stuffing your faces with all the junk food you could find around the compound. This was something you both needed, since the last mission was real hell and you had to let go of all the stress and anxiety inside. So, you said yes with a heart racing as fast as a sports car at maximum speed and you had to escape to your room not to pass out right on the spot.

So, the day was here and you were trying your best to keep your hands from shaking while you were changing into your pyjamas, taking more time than any human being should during this process. Finally, you were all ready and closed the door of your room before you headed to Natasha’s. She told you not to worry about the snacks, because she would make sure you had enough, but you still brought some popcorn you had put in the microwave earlier as you didn’t want to attend this ‘sleepover’ with empty hands. Natasha was sitting on the edge of her bed, searching for something at least slightly interesting on Netflix to watch when you entered her room. She gave you a lovely smile before turning back to the TV, complaining about how many stupid rom-coms were in her recommendations while you tried not to stare at her gorgeous body for too long.

“You know, it’s not a coincidence that those movies show up…”, you commented, making Natasha get all defensive because she was afraid her ‘bad bitch’ image would crush into pieces in front of her crush.

“Hey! It happened once, okay? And it’s because of Wanda, she told me it’s not like the others! I normally wouldn’t watch any of this garbage.”

You just smiled to yourself, chewing on a piece of popcorn before replying.

“Okay, sorry-sorry, Miss I’m-Way-Too-Badass-For-Rom-Coms”, you said, putting your hands up in defence, smirking at the redhead who just rolled her eyes at you and continued searching for a movie to watch. You were slowly chewing on some popcorn, looking at the never-ending list of films while offering some of the snack to Natasha who just shook her head but told you to feel yourself at home and eat as much of the snacks she found as you’d like.

“They’re mostly Tony’s anyway”, she said, followed by a cocky grin which made you laugh and shake your head in fake disappointment.

“Wow, so you’re a thief now. I have to say, I was expecting better from you, Miss.”

Natasha just chuckled before happily turning to you, announcing she’d found something you’d both enjoy. You both climbed onto the bed, opening all the snacks and started watching the movie after everything was settled. You shared a blanket with Natasha which made the butterflies in your stomach come alive once again, even more because of how close she was to you. You found yourself totally forgetting about the storyline of the film, so you’d lost track almost halfway through when Natasha turned to you and raised her eyebrows. You could feel how flattered you were turning within seconds, so you cleared your throat while looking down at the now empty bowl of popcorn you were holding in your hands. Natasha just smiled to herself before turning back to the TV screen and pointing at the protagonist while chewing on some jellybeans.

“She’s kinda hot, you know…”, she stated, waiting for your jealous reply and once she got it, she knew the game was on. She did feel somewhat guilty for playing with you, but she had a slight suspicion regarding your feelings and she needed to make sure.

You simply furrowed your eyebrows in your confusion and embarrassment, looking at the blonde girl on the screen, slowly getting jealous.

“Umm, I mean… yeah. I mean, she looks lovely but… She’s not really my type, to be honest…”, you muttered, making Natasha smirk even harder and encouraging her to continue.

“Oh, truly? And what is your type?”, she asked, blinking at you totally innocently but it freaked you out more than anything ever had. You were glad you weren’t eating anything right then, because you were sure you would’ve choked on it.

You replied while trying to calm yourself down and trying not to think anything into this simple question. After all, Natasha might have been just trying to get a conversation started without any further intentions. Although, as you were thinking, trying to ignore your racing thoughts, you came across one which was clearly not as strong as all the panicky ones, but gave you some kind of hope. What if she was asking because she was into you? Maybe it was time to actually get your shit together and finally confess. After all, it was almost the finish line and there was basically nothing to lose now. So, you decided to join her little game.

“Well, you know, I’m not really into blondes… I prefer redheads”, you said with your sassiest grin on your face, looking at Natasha from underneath your eyelashes. You saw her smirk vanish and it made you feel incredibly proud of yourself. You put two jellybeans in your mouth while keeping up the eye-contact with Natasha, asking her if she had a specific type. She flashed a fake smile at you, knowing full well that her little game just turned the other way and she was the target now.

“Oh well, you know… I like the kind of eyes you can get lost in. But there is one specific colour that I truly love.”

You looked deep into her eyes, suddenly becoming all serious when you felt your stomach lifting up and down. You truly had to have perfect control right then, otherwise you would’ve been fucked.

“Truly? And what is it?”, you asked all casually, not caring about your anxiety getting more and more intense.

Natasha simply smiled at you before replying, taking a sip of her diet coke. Both of you had forgotten about the movie you were watching but neither of you actually cared.

“Yours.”

This one simple word was all it took to make your eyes widen and your jaw drop to the ground. You saw Natasha’s proud smirk and it made your heart beat even faster than earlier. You honestly couldn’t believe that Natasha, the woman you’d been in love with for ages basically just confessed her feelings for you.

You cleared your throat before trying to gather your thoughts and form them into words. Natasha was watching you, clearly enjoying how flattered you were just again before grabbing the remote control and turning off the volume on the television.

“What do you mean mine? Like… Are you trying to tell me you like me? Because… I really like you. Like really really like you. And I only like one redhead and that would be you. But I’m sorry if that’s not what you actually meant and I’m making everything awkward and ruin our friendship. You can tell me if –“

But you couldn’t finish, because Natasha cut you off while rolling her beautiful eyes.

“Oh my Lord. Just shut up and kiss me.”

You looked at her like you suddenly couldn’t understand English and it took you some long seconds before you could actually open your mouth. But Natasha didn’t let you speak; she simply leaned in, cupped your cheeks and placed a sweet peck on your lips. You didn’t know if it was because Natasha was the one who kissed you this time, or you just simply couldn’t remember your earlier kisses, but this moment felt magical and you felt better than ever before. Natasha’s lips were smooth and sweet because of the chocolate she ate a few minutes before, and the feeling of her skin against yours made your whole body all weak and shaky. When you pulled away and she smiled at you, you couldn’t help but lower your eyes with a muffled chuckle, your fingers gently wrapped around Natasha’s wrist.

“Yes, Y/N, I do like you. Like really really like you”, she whispered before leaning in for another kiss which got longer and more passionate than the first one. At this moment, you could swear you were the happiest person alive.

Please, leave your feedback in my comment section or my inbox. It would mean the world to me. Thank you!

[vivala-plutofuckyou]

Things no one tells you about being pregnant

-Keep track of your sexual encounters!! Whether you’re trying for a baby or not it’s a good idea to mark on your period calendar whenever you have sex. I downloaded the app P Tracker and it has a handy switch that you just swipe and you can put in the details, like if you used a condom. Keeping track of this will help your doctor more accurately narrow down your due date otherwise they just go off of when your last period ended and that could be way off.

-You will be sore to various degrees throughout the whole pregnancy! And this is totally normal! You’re body is physically changing and rearranging to make room for baby. Your pelvic bone moves, your ab muscles stretch, and your organs get pushed around during your baby’s growth. Don’t worry, you’re allowed to take Tylenol.

-You have to pee in a cup at every appointment. Make sure you stay hydrated and that you eat healthy. And even if it’s difficult at first, you’re gonna become a pro at peeing into a cup.

-There WILL NOT be an ultrasound at every appointment! Ultrasounds are used just to make sure baby is growing and developing properly and on time. Unless you really want to pay for an ultrasound, it’s not necessary at every appointment and it’s best to listen to your doctor on when you actually need to get them. Cherish them when they come around and if you can help it, don’t skip on the 3D ultrasound. It’s amazing!

-You get your blood drawn A LOT. Especially at around the 28-30 week mark. They’ll do this thing called a Glucose Test to see if you have any blood sugar problems. You’re not allowed to eat or drink after midnight the night before, not even chew gum. Then, they make you drink this kinda gross sugary drink. It comes in different flavors but I don’t recommend getting the colored drinks if you get sick easily. I had the lemon-lime flavor and it basically just tasted like thick, flat sprite. After that you have to wait an hour and they draw your blood. If for some reason you fail this test (like I did), then you have to go in again and this time they draw your blood 4 times. I recommend having a high protein diet and a lot of water the day before and bring snacks and orange juice for after. You’ll thank me!

-Your nipples change color. Yeah, you read that right. Not only do your boobs get bigger but nipples get darker and more sensitive. This is because your body is trying to make it easier for a baby’s developing eyes to see it’s food source. No, there’s no way to stop or prevent this. You just kinda gotta deal. Sorry.

-Morning Sickness is different for everyone. Personally, I only had a lot of “Nauseas cuz I didn’t eat/Nauseas cuz I did eat” for the first trimester or so but never got physically sick. My cousin, though, puked almost the entirety of her pregnancy. It was so bad she now has permanent dental issues and ended up losing a whole lot of weight after giving birth. Make sure you talk to your doctor about any concerns you have about your morning sickness.

-It’s okay to dye your hair! A lot of people think the chemicals are bad for you and baby but there’s been quite a bit of research saying there’s no harm done if you wanna rock a bright pink or just touch up your roots. My only advice here is make sure you’re in a well ventilated area. Those smells can really get to you!

-You’re allowed to eat seafood and steak! For a long time doctors would tell you this is a big No-No but there are some seafoods you’re allowed to enjoy! Crab, salmon, shrimp, and anything with really low mercury levels is perfectly safe in controlled amounts as long as it’s properly cooked. Steer clear of tuna though! It has very high levels of mercury and that’s bad for baby! As for steak, you can eat as much as you want so long as cooked medium or longer! Basically, all of the meat has to reach that temperature that kills bacteria that could harm baby.

-You don’t need to “eat for two”. Many people think you need to eat excessively once you become pregnant but that not true and often contributes to excessive weight gain during and after your pregnancy and can cause childhood obesity in your baby. You should eat your regular meals and then whenever you feel hungry. Don’t force yourself to eat more than you can just because you think it will go straight to the baby. That’s not how it works.

-Listen to your cravings! Often times when you crave a specific kind of food, it’s for a reason. You’re body is trying to tell you you’re missing something from your diet. Crave sweets or sugar? Drink a bottle of water and see how you feel, you might be dehydrated. Just want to eat a shit ton of ice? You could be low on iron, eat spinach and other iron-rich foods and bring it up to your doctor. There’s always a reason. And sometimes that reason is you just really want ice cream.

-Everyone’s pregnancy will be different from yours but that won’t stop them from thinking they know what you’re going through. People are constantly going to come to you with unsolicited advice, old wives tales, and stories of their personal experience. It’s going to get annoying and bothersome. Just try to keep a level head when you ask them to fuck off.

-Hemorrhoids are unavoidable. I’m sorry. Invest in prescription wipes and/or ointment.

-Nesting is a thing. You’re going to clean and reorganize the house so many times.

-It’s okay to google your questions! Not everyone has the advantage of a patient doctor willing to answer every single question and concern you have and some of you may even see multiple doctors throughout your pregnancy all of which may give you different answers. Google can become your friend here. There are so many forums and blogs and other online sources when it comes to pregnancy questions. You’ll be able to sleep easier, I promise.

-Buy thin underwear pads. Vaginal discharge can get more frequent as well as change color/consistency/smell and you don’t want to ruin your underwear.

-Doctors don’t always know best. This one is probably the most important. If you feel like your Doctor is bullshitting you, bullying you into decision-making, or just not listening to you, DO NOT assume “they’re the doctor, they know best”. You are 100% in control of your body and what you want your pregnancy experience to be. My friend’s nurses and doctors kept her epidural so high that she literally slept through her contractions and her dilation stalled to the point they had no choice but to do a C-section and it could’ve been avoided except her whole family assured her “the doctor knew best” so she didn’t express her concerns until it was too late. When my mom gave birth to my brother, the doctor let her have 2 seizures on the table after her C-section because he thought he “knew best” about her existing medications and her anesthesia and assumed that because she wasn’t a red head she lied about carrying the R1N1 gene which could’ve killed her. If you’re uncomfortable with your doctor, speak up.

Basically, this is just the stuff I can immediately think of. If you have your own pregnancy stories or tips or whatnot you want to add, please feel free, I’d love to read them. And if you have any questions, my ask box is always open and I’ll do my best to answer them.

[stardust-static]

Insomnia is creeping back up

Nuuuuuu!

Can't fall asleep till almost 3am, not waking up till 11pm... I don't like that. My sleeping routine was so bad towards the end of last year. I couldn't fall asleep till 5am. Sometimes it would be till like 8am. I just could not fall asleep at night. And I'd just sleep here and there throughout the days. That all changed when I started eating better. I think it's no coincidence that now that I have little cheat snacks here and there, both my insomnia and signs of depression are coming back. Change of diet really does change things I swear.. Also the added stress of just life in general right now is not helping anything. I really need to eat better. I do all day, its just those late night snacks that are killing it for me. I really need to stop it. And I won't let my sleeping schedule get that bad again. My parents would be like "Hey! Wake up!". Lol

Anyway... Things are okay. Besides the obvious things that are wrong. That I keep talking about.

Banned from seeing Bailey -- still stands. Still miss him. Still trying to stop that because there's really nothing that can be done and this situation is going to be ongoing for awhile. Its just frustrating... I'm trying real hard not to dwell on that. I'm happy that he's doing well though! His ER is not one of the ones being overwhelmed just yet + they have pleanty of medical equipment for the nurses. If anything its been really slow at his work. And yeah. He's doing good.

Living with my parents again as an adult lady and am now literally stuck in the house with them indefinitely -- it was hard at first (still kinda is, but we're grooving (whatever that means)). My dad and I bumped heads for awhile there at first and I was really upset about some things he said to me and the way he was treating me in general was not nice at all, but my sister set him strait and things got better. He's been nice towards me ever since which is nice (He's scared of my sister). So hopefully these next 4-6 months continue on like this and there will be no more bumps in the road.

Job search -- sucks. Really bad. Economy crashing and all of that, but I still checked everyday and apply for jobs. Trying not to be discouraged!

Real estate license -- still underway. I am currently reading through my final book for my course work, have one more exam to take and pass for my required course work hours, and then it's time for my final state exam and I have a GIGANTIC book that I have to study for that. So I should be wrapping up my coursework this month. Finally! But after that I really have to drill this stuff into my brain and MEMORIZE! I won't be able to take any notes with me into the state exam area and it's really difficult from what I hear. Most people fail it their first go around. So I'm gonna give myself an entire month to study. I truly have an awful memory so I've prepared with as much study material I could get my hands on. I already got the book on the california exam and flash cards and I paid for the timed practice tests. The most difficult thing for me is the laws. There are A LOT of laws that you need to know to be a real estate agent! So yeah I've got my work cut out for me, but I still really want this and I'm all in!

plants-- all my plants are doing lovely! Have not killed one since being at my parents! Getting kinda good at this "green thumb" thing 😊. I'm just saddened that I cannot go look at plants like I used to. Also I was hoping to get a job at a plant nursery while studying for my real estate exam, but I don't think that will happen now. :/

Also all the plant YouTubers aren't posting any fun plant content. Just a bunch of online plant orders. Not as fun as nursery tours. :(

So yeah... Just spoiling my plants I do have. Took them all out onto my parents covered patio to get some indirect sunlight when we had a few sunny days. Some of my plants really liked it and I got a bunch of new growth from doing that. 😄

And yeah... That's life. I'm trying to get out and take Winston on a walk every day to just get some fresh air and to be alone for awhile. Today after our walk I didn't go strait home and i went for a little drive. Just to clear my mind and listen to some music. Little things to hold onto my sanity. Also i set up a tv mount all by nyself today. I'm so proud! Its been sitting in my room for a week. Bailey was supposed to put it together for me, then things happened, but I finally got around to it and did just fine. 😁 Tomorrow is a stay in my room all day and study kind of day. Goodnight! ❤

Hopefully I can fall asleep soon...

[challengekween-blog]

Whole30 2/3 of the way through!

Guys! It’s the fiiinal countdooooown!!! And I am so pumped! So…something happened yesterday, I had a real deep craving for the first time since starting this whole shindig. I could NOT stop thinking about ice cream 😮. Gasps and murmuring***i know, I know let me explain: TMI**but I had to go to my annual lady doctor appointment and while usually some people don’t mind papsmears, I hate them. I just don’t like people touching me esp in such an intimate way. So yesterday was pretty gruesome in my eyes and all that I thought could cheer me up was ice cream…and egg rolls (had a craving for those too). Anyways, even though I was starving and hadn’t prepped, I didn’t give in phewwww***

As I’m entering the last days of this I have to wonder what my diet is going to look like starting that 31st day. I’ve kinda already been planning what I’m going to slowly introduce back into my diet. The changes I’ll stick to etc. there are a few things I noticed about my eating habits retrospectively while on whole30 that I def needed to change( to continue a healthier, happier lifestyle). Some of them include:

  - I was eating my emotions almost every other day. Cravings would come as soon as any type of stress hit me. Bad day at work? Eating chick Fil a tonight, Too many design projects? Ice cream will save me! It was a constant, non-ending cycle of emotional over-eating.

  - Eating out 4+ meals a week. Yeah that’s where my money went to for sure.

  - Eating too much protein, Not enough vegetables. Now I know protein is wonderful for you but too much of anything is a bad thing, and I consumed way too much protein for a person who wasn’t working out. The type of protein wasn’t all that great either, fried chicken tenders, hot wings, hamburgers. And Not filling my body with nutrient dense foods

  - Snacking throughout the day, and conditioning my mind to pair snacking with watching TV. Every time I turned on Bob’s Burgers, there needed to be snack or meal in my hand. Bad bad bad.

  There are more but the point is that this truly was a wake up call and hard reset for me. Now I may have ate some non-compliant things here and there, but for the most part I’m sticking to a plan that’s opened my eyes to the way your body is supposed to feel and operate. It’s opened my eyes to my harmful habits that were leading me straight to obesity and other health problems. And lastly Its opened my eyes to loving and taking care of my body not because I need to be better, skinnier etc, but because I deserve that self love.

  I hope this is a push or inspiration for anyone who is struggling with weight issues or just plain food issues. Feel free to message about any questions or thoughts you have! XOXO Bells

[islandpcosjourney]

PCOS food and the hubby!

7th November 2018

Ok, so I sat down with the intention of writing about PCOS symptoms and what they mean to me but as hubby is texting me just now, this seems like a better topic! What does PCOS food mean to him? CONFUSION!

As hubby works away for 5wks then home for 5wks he struggles to keep up with what routine I’m following, as its constantly changing! I’m self-employed and I work different hours all the time. When its just me, I eat whenever I can and whatever I can. As long as the Dog & Cats get fed, I’m not important. Sometimes, I don’t eat meals, I just snack. He hates that. So this year he’s taken on more of a leading role with meals, when he’s home. 

He loves to BBQ - in any weather! In fact, the wilder the weather (and believe me it can get wild in the Outer Hebrides!) the more challenging it is to maintain the right temperature for the BBQ. Most of us will think of burgers and sausages when you say BBQ - not hubby! He thinks “What culinary masterpieces can I find and create now?”. To be honest, I LOVE IT! He enjoys cooking, who cares if its on a BBQ or in the kitchen, and I get a meal placed in front of me. Our rule is whoever cooks, the other cleans up. Well when I’m cooking, his job is easy as I keep a clean workstation around me at all times so he ends up doing the dishes essentially. With him? Forget it! Yes I might come home to a meal on the table, but the kitchen looks like a war zone so I’ve got the kitchen AND the dishes to clean!

Anyway, that’s not the point of the blog. The point is, my PCOS journey has been so up and down over the years that I’ve totally confused him as to what I can and can’t eat. Sometimes I’ve just been totally off it and without a care in the world, will eat rubbish quite happily. Other months I’ve been diligent, following a diet, usually a fad one that I can’t sustain and I go right back to square one again.

So this time around, he’s away just now and he’s looking at our freezer list to see what he’s going to cook when he comes home, firing off recipe ideas to me and I’m like “can’t have that”, “or that” but he’s like “yeah but you could have that before” and I’m like “yeah 4yrs ago when I was following ***** diet” so he’s like “well get it out of the cupboard then coz I have no clue anymore what you can and can’t have” - good point! Kitchen clear out required!

Most of the time, I can’t even explain why I can’t have something, or why I feel something - my answer simply being, “I read it once, can’t remember where or why”. Oh dear - I would never be any good at giving proper advice! All I know is that I’m on my own with this - no doctor to help guide me, just instincts and gathering as much info as I can to make educated guesses. Kym Campbell’s programme is the closest I’ve found to a total package explaining the condition, exercise and diet required so i’m going to stick with that just now.

I’m hoping hubby will do it with me this time around, or at least I can feed him (excuse the pun) parts of it - articles, recipes etc. The entire folder of the programme on my computer is over 5GB! He certainly enjoyed the food from before but I think this time around he needs to know the theories behind it all so he can make judgements of his own to make up recipes/substitute the right ingredients. He’s so desperate to find PCOS Friendly meals for the BBQ and he’s so frustrated when I keep telling him I can’t eat stuff, or shouldn’t. But, we did it once, so we can do it again. I remember throwing him a birthday BBQ in 2017 and I managed to be PCOS friendly throughout! Tasty burgers I made from scratch, lettuce leaves holding it together instead of a bun, tasty salads, fruit-infused water, sweet potato wedges - it was all very tasty! and for once, I didn’t feel full up of stodge.

As he’s just sent me in a message now - he was so frustrated at me not being able to say categorically what I can/can’t eat so he’s looked it up:

No sugar, gluten or dairy. Plenty meat, fish & eggs. Lots of non starchy veg.

In a nutshell, he’s correct. But there is much more to it than that, like food combinations, making sure I’m counteracting anything sugary with a protein - like eating nuts alongside fruit. That kinda thing is confusing enough for me to remember every combination, let alone him. He doesn’t have to do this for me, but he does, coz he cares and loves me. It will be easier for us both to live the same lifestyle, certainly when he’s home and I know we’ll get into a routine of it, one of these days!

Oh the fight just goes on!

Cheery bye for now

xx M xx