#me: ugh no i actually dont like brian that much...i mean yeah i just dont get the obsession with him smh brian freaks r weird

[barbequebarf]

tell me a story 'bout how u adore me !

[crushedsweets]

i was listening to twin size mattress by the front bottoms and was like. hmm this is the most toby song ever

SO i was wondering do u have any songs that remind you of specific creeps? could be from lyrics or just general vibes yk yk

- 🌙 anon (im new here hi)

HII welcome. ok ok. so i listen to music in a very boring way and never analyze lyrics/artists/albums/etc. but for you i will try to change.

also these lryics with toby oh wow.. wow. ok. wowwww. wow. ok. wow. STUFF UNDER THE CUT BUT KNOW IM DEEPLY WARPING THE ACTUAL MEANING BEHIND A LOT OF THESE SONGS LOL. i religiously listen to love songs so its hard

toby and honey by coastal club. (my fave song rn..)

whether its from his perspective or not.. it doesnt even have to be romantic either. just his friendships with everyone around him, both from people like tim and brian seeing this SEVERELY TROUBLED kid. . . 'wide eyed..dying to get outside' feels very :((( yk. he was a kid trapped in a fucking horrifying situation all his life. or him looking at his friendship with nina. "youve got a way with me... alive and so full of life, i'm mesmerized by your love" etc. maybe jack or clockwork with the "i started laughing at the words you spoke, i kinda like you and your stupid jokes"... AGAIN I KNOW ITS A LOVE SONG but i see it applying in so many different forms of love. and i love love. also a ton of like, car and driving references which is um. lyra reference sorry

nina x clockwork and "a big brown dog named bagel" by nep

ok this doesnt apply so much to my au(nobody is canon in mine but yk)... buttttttt... yeah. ugh. this is so nina @ nat. sorry guys ive been changed. one ask always diverts my attention at the speed of light. "I like the way she bites, the way she talks, the way she looks when I smile" is just SO FUCKING NINA ADORING NAT. nina just wants to be in the most fairytale coming of age movie ya novel lovestory and she says that her biggest dream in life is to get married. she wants to take care of her lover and give and give and give so fucking much and "I'll buy you a big old house on a big old hill And I'll grow old with my baby, 'til she's dead" is so very her. of course i chose clockwork cuz 'she's tall in the knees' and 'some green in her eyes' plus im a lesbian and havent fawned over sapphic relationships in months since i began my creepypasta return. LOL

eyeless jack and "downhill" by lincoln

there r few words to describe the amount of guilt, horror, and devastation that jack feels after what he's done, all he's lost, and what he has to do to survive. he has a year of his life that he was literally possessed by a demon and went around fucking tearing humans apart and eating their remains. even as he's """recovering""" and settling into a cabin, his friendships with the creeps, trying to just feel okay. he's on his last leg, he can tell that people know he's a shell of what he was but they'll never know how warm, kind, inviting he used to be. "i went downhill at such a steep inline" ... yea he did his life changed immeasurably in a single night and it's never coming back. the lyrics "'Cause I was born into the world on a silken cloud / And I got bored of the world before I hit the ground" ... while he had a ton of pressure. he loved his life, loved his family, was the type to constantly express how grateful he was for everything that got him where he was. and then he hit rock fucking bottom because he wanted to chase a little excitement with the pretty girl inviting him to join a 'club.' poor guy

liu and "i'm not angry anymore" by paramore

i dont think i need to explain this because um..... lols... liu just wants to fucking move on. he just wants to escape everything. he wants his family back, including the little brother he'd play catch with in the front yard for so many years. but he has his moments where it all comes barreling back, and he makes real fucking brash decisions - he lost his marriage because he spiraled trying to find jeff and moved to fucking alabama. so you know.

jane and "everest" by beabadoobee

again, i dont think i need to explain this. maybe this could be mary(jane's wife) singing to jane, cuz she was one of janes main supports after her parents death. jane can only act strong for so long but she is so so so fucking sad and mourning and she was always so soft and gentle and sweet and she lost everything in a single night. she spent a short period of time filled with rage, as she would be, but her story eventually evolves into her just wanting to help others with their cases, be happy with her wife, take care of sally, grow old, make her parents proud. she's climbed mountains and is probably in the best place of all the creeps. holds her. i dont touch her character too often because i just want her to settle happily lolz..

ok thats all i got guys :3.. thank youuuuu thank youuu. sorry if my music taste is bad guys. LOL.

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 Mikey is now at Brian’s loft: ‘mike, fix the mess you made. Poor Bri Bri, he looks so bad (he now paused the episode to laugh at Brian’s Chernobyl line. He is so easily impressed with Brian) mike..i doubt he will ever eat chicken soup, he barely eats. FOR FUCKS SAKE BRIAN STOP BEING A BITCH AND ACCEPT SOME HELP. *lets out an actual gasp* IS MIKEY GONNA STAND UP FOR JUSTIN?! TELL HIM MIKE! YES HE IS HIS LOVER! YES! FINALLY MIKE, THAT WAS A SHITTY WAY TO TREAT HIM! I cannot believe im about to say this but mikey..you might have officially made it off my shit list forever.’ Brian says Justin wouldve left anyway ‘what the fuck? Says who? He wouldnt leave you! I cant decide if this is his anger over cancer or what but dudeeeeee stop it! Go back to Justin, if not for you, do it for me’ And we are at Drew’s party ‘im sorry what did he just say? What a piece of shit. Spit in his food. Oooor talk to him..i guess that’s more mature. Yeah, tell this little bitch that he’s a little bitch!’ ‘Im sorry but i just doubt that Lindsay would miss these classes! I mean come on she was all insane over being a mom in the beginning? What is this bullshit? Its giving straight men vibe, you know what I mean?’ And we are at Mikey and Justins scene ‘COME ON BLONDIE STOP BEING STUBBORN AND GO TO OUR MAN! There is no way he’d just let him go like that when Brian is sick. This is bullshit. MIKE DO SOMETHING. (Justin says brian being sick doesnt concern him anymore and he pauses tv) what the fuck is this bullshit?! Nah. Maybe if something horrible happened, id get this. Id even get this during the *makes a grossed out face* ethan era but now? Fuck no. Our boyfriend has cancer and he’s just chill? After he cried and held him the way he did?! Who the fuck wrote this shit? *clicks play* TELL HIM MIKE! fucks sake Justin! Use your big brain! Exactly Mike! GO TO HIM JUSTIN, OH COME ON!!!’ And we are at lindsay and sam scene ‘oh for fucks sake. What is this bullshit and why do I have to suffer it? My baby Bri Bri is sick, my baby Blondie is being stubborn and not listening to me and they think I care about whatever this is.’ He just fake gagged and made a grossed out face to sam and lindsay hugging. And we are at Ben/Mike scene ‘you know what? I never thought id say this but Mike deserves better. He’s been so supportive of Ben and even kept quiet about his own success only for this dick to be a dick to him. I now like mike so he deserves better.’ And we are at Drew/Em scene!! ‘Ugh him again. Fuck you dude bro. Emmett be careful! Something is off about this guy. (Drew makes a move on Emmett) um..what is going on? THIS IS WHAT THAT JUSTIN AND BRIAN FIGHT SCENE WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE! Wait..what the fuck dude? I thought he was straight? Okay get it em..i think’ and back to Ben and his student ‘i dont like this shit. What the fuck is this shit? Why is everyone acting so fucking weird and stupid?’ ‘BRIAN! You’re supposed to be resting. He looks like shit. Bri, go home please and call Justin. *he giggled like a little kid* i like how Ted and I both call him Bri. Yes, go home and call JUSTIN FOR FUCKS SAKE! (Brian walks in his loft to Justin cooking) JUSTIN! BLONDIE IS HERE!!! HE MADE HIM SOUP! Brian stop being a bitch! YES BLONDIE TELL HIM. (justin snapped at Brian) OH MY GOD! TELL HIM BABY! YOU GO GIRL! EXACTLY HE CANT HANDLE THIS ON HIS OWN! YOU GO BABY! YEAH BRIAN WHY WOULD YOU THINK HED LEAVE! Babies, before this goes bad, how about none of us leave? *stands up and literally puts his hands in the air and claps* YES GET YOUR ASS BACK IN BED AND EAT CHICKEN SOUP! I guess he will eat soup. HA! Remember when Debbie said he met his match?’ He then paused on Britin in bed at the end and walked to the tv and pointed at it while looking at me and went ‘THIS! THIS IS ALL I WANT! Is that too much to ask for? Now give me the next episode!’

I cannot believe im about to say this but mikey..you might have officially made it off my shit list forever.

Forever is a long long time, I’m curious how he’s going to react to S5 Mikey…

Lindsay would absolutely not miss the birthing classes. That was so out of character. CowLip really did not care what they did with their lesbian representation.

Ben is such a shit in this whole storyline. Michael has the bad luck to be with men who seemingly like him partially because his career is less impressive than their (Dr. David I’m looking at you.) Toxic masculinity, you even infect the queer men.

Okay his entire reaction to the chicken soup line (YOU GO GIRL) just made my night.

Brian did meet his match in Justin. That’s why they are OTP.

[shawnsassymendes]

Best Friend’s Brother ii

a/n: ik i said i wouldnt make a second part but a few people said they wanted one and i got to thinking and then this came about lol hope you like it 

synopsis: you spend the day with the Mendes family after your date with Shawn.

wc: 1.7k

{Masterlist in Bio}

part 1

____________________

The bell above the door rang as you and Aaliyah entered the little restaurant. You took a quick glance around at the tables to find Karen and Manny sitting in the corner booth already. They were looking at the menus as if they weren’t memorized by all of you by now. You nudged Aaliyah and motioned to where her parents were. 

“What are you getting this time?” She asked as you both walked towards the booth.

“Probably the blueberry pancakes. I got the eggs last time.” You mused out loud. “Or should I get the mixed berry waffles? They both come with a good bit of berries on the side. No never mind, I’m getting the pancakes.”

“Glad I could help you make that decision.” Aaliyah chuckled as you scooted into the couch against the wall. “Hey mum, hey dad.”

“Hey girls, how was your morning?” Manny asked, eyes still on the menu.

"Pretty good, you know Saturday mornings are my favorite.” You grinned.

Aaliyah scoffed and rolled her eyes playfully. “Ugh, such a sweet talker.” 

Every Saturday morning, you had a breakfast date with Aaliyah and her parents. Sometimes Shawn was included, and other times, like today, he wasn’t. And every Saturday morning, without fail, Karen would guess exactly what you and Aaliyah were going to order.

“Alright Auntie Karen, hit me.” 

“Hmm, let’s see. Aaliyah’s going to get the... she’s going to get the turkey sandwich with extra hash browns.” You turned to Aaliyah who nodded, not fazed that her mom knew what she was going to order. “And the cup of strawberries for desert.”

“That doesn’t count, she gets it every time. Now me.”

“You... I think you’re going to get the mixed berry waffles.” You opened your mouth to correct her, but she cut you off. “No no, don’t tell me! You’re going to get the umm the blueberry pancakes! I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Every time! How do you do it?” You exclaimed.

Karen laughed and waved you off. “Magic, darling”

The waitress came and took the orders from Manny with a look on her face that said ‘I know these people, but I’m not sure where from’. Something you were quite used to when going out with the Mendes family. After she left, Aaliyah chatted with her mom while you chatted with Manny, recounting the events of the past week the others didn’t know about.

There was a lull in the conversation when Manny received an important email he had to check and Aaliyah took out her phone to text her boyfriend. Karen cleared her throat and looked over at you. “So we uh, we thought Shawn might be joining us this morning for breakfast. Considering your date went well last night?”

Suddenly, Manny’s email wasn’t important anymore and Aaliyah’s conversation with Jordan was put on hold and all eyes were on you.

“Uh yeah, it went really well actually.” You smiled, ears heating up at the memory of last night. “He said he wanted to head to his apartment today, wanted to write something in the studio thing he’s got there.”

Karen and Manny made eye contact and smiled. “Mm, not surprising.” Karen mumbled.

“No, not at all.” Manny replied, picking up his phone and returning to his email. 

You raised your eyebrows in question and turned to Aaliyah. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She shrugged in response, “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”

You groaned and ran your hands through your hair. “I hate you guys and your secrets.” 

____________________

The drive back to the house was mostly uneventful. Manny insisted he play his music, which you found hilarious and Aaliyah found embarrassing. 

Karen was dropped off at her office on the way to take her car back home. Aaliyah called shotgun as soon as her mom got out of the car, leaving you alone in the backseat. You decided to take advantaged of the situation and take up the whole back seat. 

You took out your phone and saw that Shawn had replied to your good morning text while you were at breakfast.

shawnie boy: morning

shawnie boy: are you guys done with breakfast?

you: yea, heading home rn

you: you still at your apartment?

shawnie boy: why? do you miss me already?

you: maybe..

You definitely missed him already.

shawnie boy: ur cute

shawnie boy: i came home, brian stopped by to raid my fridge so i brought him with me

shawnie boy: hes staying for lunch

you: see u guys in a bit

As soon as you sent your reply, you received a text from someone else. You were going to swipe it away when you realized it was from Brian.

brian craigen (shawn’s friend): hey y/n

You quickly changed his redundant contact name before replying.

you: hey brian, whats up?

Brian never really texted you, not to say that you didn’t talk. He was Shawn’s best friend and you were Aaliyah’s. All four of you were almost always at their house. You were all very much a part of each other’s childhoods growing up. But he just never texted you. If he ever had something to say to you, he would just wait until he saw you next. There was never anything urgent in your conversations. 

So you had no clue why he was texting you right now.

brian criagen: are you texting shawn rn?

brian criagen: like currently

you: yea?

brian craigen: dude hes smiling at his phone mad hard rn

you: does everyone know this is going on?

brian craigen: everyone’s known since forever y/n dont kid yourself

you: oof was i that obvious?

brian craigen: you both were

“Hey, is the air on back there?” Manny called to you in the back, looking at you through the rearview mirror.

“Yeah, it’s good.” You reassured him. 

He raised an eyebrow at you and turned it up a little more, regardless of your reply. “Are you sure? You’re face is really red, kid.”

“It’s because she’s texting Shawn.” Aaliyah teased in a sing-song voice.

“Am not!” Not fully a lie on your part.

“So she’s texting about Shawn. Same thing.”

Manny chuckled and shook his head at you and his daughter’s antics. 

When you got home, you saw Shawn’s car in the driveway. No one missed the way you perked up in your seat.

“Don’t get too excited.” Aaliyah smirked, fishing out her keys to the front door.

“Shut up.” You groaned and walked away from her and into the kitchen. You saw Brian on the couch and called out a ‘Hey, Brian’ in passing.

Shawn turned around as soon as he heard your voice. “Hey.” He smiled, cheeks the most adorable shade of pink and a steaming mug of what you knew was green mint tea in his hand. 

You hip checked him when you reached the counter and grabbed yourself a mug. Seeing his mug of tea made you want to make some of your favorite too.

“Hey.” You smiled. Shawn came to stand closer to you while you added some water to the kettle and pulled out a tea bag.

You hopped up on the counter as you waited for your water to boil. Shawn came to stand right in front of you and put his forearms on your shoulders. 

This wasn’t necessarily new, all the touching and close quarters, both of you always had a lack of needing personal space. At least around each other. But it felt new. He wasn’t your best friend’s brother who you secretly had a crush on anymore. But he wasn’t anything else at this point really. It was too early to tell.

Shawn leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You hummed, a ghost of a smile on your lips.

Shawn raised his eyebrows, clearly enjoying the banter. “Oh, so we’re keeping secrets this early in our relationship?”

“Yup, I’m a tough cookie to crack. Can’t get me that easy.”

“I think I already know what’s got your mind working overtime.”

“Pray tell.”

“I think you wanna know what we are.” Shawn’s tongue darted out to lick his lips. He really didn’t want to have gotten that wrong.

You bit your lips at his words, shocked at how easily he could read you. “Am I that easy to read?”

“A little bit.” Shawn shrugged. “But maybe it’s also because I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

“Then what are we? It’s only been one date. Or two.”

“But it’s also been a decade. I know you like the back of my hand. Not something most people can say after one or two dates.”

“You are incredibly right Mr. Mendes. Whatever shall we do? Simply be pliant in the hands of a higher power?”

“It seems we have but no choice.” Shawn giggled, bumping his nose against yours. 

“Mm, good. I don’t like making choices. Too much thinking is required.”

“Then let me do the thinking for you.” Shawn leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. It wasn’t a needy kiss or an experimental kiss. It was just a kiss. Granted, it wasn’t a short one. It was like both of you were taking a crash course on what it’s like to feel loved by the other. Every kiss he gave you felt like it was waiting to happen since you first met. 

You didn’t know how long you were sat there on the counter, Shawn standing between your legs. You water had long finished boiling. The table that was clear when you first arrived was now fully set, courtesy of Aaliyah you presumed. 

Considering the fact that she was sitting right there.

“Uh, hi Liyah?” Shawn said, breaking the tension.

“Is this what I’m gonna have to deal with from now on?”

“Come on Aaliyah, we all knew this was gonna happen at one point.” Brian came up from behind her and patted her on the head, messing up her hair in the process. “I, for one, am glad the pining is over.”

“Oh, I’m definitely glad the pining is over.” Shawn smirked. “Cause now I can do this whenever I want.” He pulled you in for another kiss, completely disregarding his best friend and his sister being audience to the intimate moment.

Aaliyah balled up a napkin and threw at you and her brother. “I don’t really care, y’all know that. Just please, please, for the love of God, lock the door when you’re going at it!” Aaliyah laughed as she got up to set the food on the table. 

____________________

hello my lovelies! thankyou for reading and im so incredibly sorry for how long this took. if you could send me your favorite line from this fic it would make my day. feedback is greatly appreciated. this is a non au fic but i tried to make shawn’s fame as insignificant as possible cuz i just wanted it to be more natural you know. anyways. love you guys.

[onceuponadetectivedemigod]

Somebody To Love

Part 5

Pairing: Female Reader x Ben hardy Warnings: language, explicit references to sex but no actual smut, alcohol Summary: Roger Taylor’s daughter (you) has just gone through a horrid breakup after finding her boyfriend in bed with another girl. When she gets a job as an assistant on set, whether ready or not, she falls for Ben. Chapter summary: After dinner the cast and you head back to Lucy's trailer. Joe decides to make everyone play 20 questions in order to set you and Ben up together. Word Count: 2,166 An: If you’re looking for a long to listen to obviously somebody to love but also  I HAVE A WHOLE DAMN PLAYLIST FOR BEN HARDY to which you can find here: Ben’s Playlist New songs are added regularly! (Also I made one for Lucy and Tigerlily Taylor and all my other Celeb crushes so just HMU if you want any of those. I highly suggest James McAvoy [thats my favorite playlist tbh] but also new songs are added to those regularly as well). Also Thanks to @di-in-al for your help on this! Love you!

gif by: @benshardy

The night dragged on. Everyone had so many questions for your fether and Brian. Lucy and Rami looked as if they were going to snog, all night. You and Ben, however, both were quite quiet. As dinner finished you all got into the appropriate cars and were headed back to set to drop you and the cast off.

Joe cleared his throat. "So, I think you owe Lucy 3 pounds." "The night is not over yet, Joe. She has until midnight. It is only 6:30." Lucy winked at you. "Besides I was going to invite everyone to my trailer so we can all get to know eachother a little bit more." "That sounds very Cinderella-esque." Joe said. "Then call me her fairy godmother, Joe." Lucy smiled back him. "What about you, Lucy? Get anywhere with Rami?" Sarina asked, causing Lucy to blush. “Um. Yeah. No. I don't really know. I don't think he is interested." She said, turning more red by the second. "Darling, he is QUITE interested." Sarina said. "Just because you can't see it dear, does not mean we cant either. Y/N? Anything on Ben at all?" "Nope. In fact, he probably said 15 words total to me all night." you said, disappointment flooding through your voice. "I am sorry, dear. But, you did say that you didn't want a relationship right now." Sarina spoke softly to you. She may have wanted you out of the house but she did love and care for you. "I don't. But... I don't know. There is something about it. I have this feeling, like... Maybe I meant to just be with him, even if it's in the friend way. Like I know he is going to be important in my life, if that makes sense." You said. "That is exactly how I felt about your father. I mean yeah, I was super excited when I got to meet one of my biggest celebrity crushes, but when I actually talked to him, I knew he was going to be much more to me than that." She smiled through the rearview mirror. "Personally, NOT THAT I COULD ACTUALLY TELL CAUSE YOU KNOW I WAS AT THE OTHER END OF THE TABLE, having a wonderful conversation with Anita actually," Joe started. "I think he just looked nervous." "You will get your chance, darling." Anita said. Both cars pulled onto set and everyone stepped out. Sarina hugged you and whispered 'good luck' in your ear. The boys headed back to their trailer to get in comfier clothes. Brian, Anita, Sarina, and your father headed home. You and Lucy walked back to her trailer. She let you borrow some sweats and a t-shirt. Then you heard a knock. You opened the door and the 4 boys were standing there. You ushered them in. "Lucy is still getting dressed in comfier clothes. She will be out in a second. You boys need anything?" you asked. They said no as they sat down on Lucy's couch. "So....anyone up for twenty questions?" Joe asked, throwing you a look. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ben's POV (first person) "So here is how the game will work since we have multiple people. We will split upon pairs. I am going to go with Ben first, Gwyl go with Rami, and Lucy and Y/N. And then we will switch off." Joe said. I'm not really one for Twenty Questions but I guess its a good bonding exercise for the lot of us. Lucy had come back into the room before Joe assigned us to our person. "Okay Im gonna be here on the couch, Gwylim is gonna be over by the bathroom. Lucy gets the doorway into the bedroom and then we will choose where to go from there." Joe continued. "Now go my little darlings." I was already seated next to Joe. "So what are doing exactly?" I asked him. "Is that your first question?" He asked me. "Yes. Is that yours?" I said raising my eyebrow. "Yes. So are you going to ask her out?" "Who?" He mean't Y/N, he must have picked up on my nerves from dinner. I was so scared to talk to her all night. I figured I would try to hide that I knew he knew. "Y/N. Are you going to use the game?" "Are you insinuating I like her?" "I don't know am I?" He raised his eyebrow and winked at me. "Yes, you are. Do you really think I like her?" My heart started beating faster and faster. "Yes. Did you really just ask me that?" "Am I that obvious?" I started to get a bit nervous knowing that everyone knew I was starting to crush on her. "To me yes. To her, she thinks you don't like her. Did you guys talk about it in the car?" "Yes. I asked Roger if I could ask her out. Did you guys talk about it too?" Maybe she liked me back. "Yes. So are you going to ask her out?" "I don't know. What did she say?" "Can't tell you. If she likes you then you get a girlfriend if not you get experience on rejection. Are you scared?" "FUCK YES." I said that a little too loud. Gwyl and Rami turned and looked at me. "Uh. Will you tell me if it was good or bad?" "No. Are you that scared, bro?" "Mate, I'm terrified. Will you tell me anything you talked about in the car?" "Sure. Are you going to ask me right?" "What was said in that car?" "Well, Sarina knew Roger was important to her as soon as she met him." Joe smiled knowing full well he was hurting me by not telling me what Y/N had to say. "Okay! And... What else Joe?" He came quite close and whispered in my ear. "Lucy likes Rami. Was anything mentioned on your side?” “He totally likes her.” I whispered back. “This is all cute but I’m worried about Y/N. Will you PLEASE tell me?" I said, hoping the please would help my case. "No. Are you that worried?" "The more we talk about it, yes.  Umm Do you think she sat next to me on purpose?" "Yes. Also she was trying to keep me from you and Gwylim. What did Roger say about it?" "He said he didn't have a problem but that the last guy was a jerk and she may not be ready for a relationship. Does anyone else in the car know I like her?" "The whole car does. Does anyone else know Rami likes Lucy?" "All of us. What about your car?" We kept glancing at Rami, I think he was picking up on our conversation. "Everyone. Women are pretty good on picking up on that kind of stuff. What number are we at?" "I think this is 17. Sound right?" "About yeah. So are you going to do it?" "Do what?" "Ask her out. Are you going to ask her out?" "Yes. Do you think Rami will ask Lucy?" "Doubt it. Are you going to do it tonight?" "Yes!" I said, my heart filling with temporary courage. "This is the last one right?" "Yes. What's your Dog's name again?" "Frankie." The thought of my little girl made me happy. I love my dog so much, she was less my dog and more my daughter. "Is everyone ready to move on?" Joe asked as everyone shouted yes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Y/N's POV (first person) Me and Lucy actually took Twenty questions seriously. There were a lot of questions on what alcohol we preferred. I had played with Gwylim and Rami. I only needed Joe and Ben at this point. Ben was playing with Gwylim now. "What did you a Ben talk about?" I asked straight off the bat. "Not telling you. You and Lucy?" "Alcohol. Why wont you tell me?" "Took a vow of silence. Just alcohol?" "No, but it was pretty generic stuff. Did you ask him about me?" "Yes. Why are you so curious?" "That bet. What number are we on?" "Four. How have you already lost count." "Dont know. So this is five?" "Yes. Why do you care so much about the bet if it's only 2.97 pounds?" "Because if I don't do it, I'm kind of a coward for not following through.  See what I mean?" I asked him. "Yeah... So are you going to ask him out during your round?" "I don't know, I only have until midnight right?" "Yes. What time is it now?" "11:30. Ugh why is it so hard to ask someone out?" I was getting frustrated. I only have 30 minutes left. "It is only hard if you like them. Do you think he likes you too?" "I don't know. When did you become so wise?" "Jurrassic Park days. Are you scared?" "Hell yes. Does he like me back?" "Not telling you. If he does, you get a boyfriend, if not you get experience with rejection. Is that what you are afraid of?" "I literally caught my boyfriend in bed with another woman. Of course I'm scared of rejection. Why would you ask that?" "Good point. It looks like everyone but us somehow finished. Want to cut it early at 12 and say we did all twenty?" "Yes! I hate this game! Don't you?" "I set this up for you kid. See you on the other side. SWITCH!!!" Joe yelled. This meant I was about to ask Ben out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Third person POV) "So umm... favorite color?" Ben asked. "Blue. Why wouldn't you talk to me during dinner?" Y/N asked almost immediately. "Wow. That was unexpected. Um, I was being pestered by all the boys in the car. Was kind of pissed off. Did your dad teach you to play drums?" "So that's why. No he never did. Why were they pestering you?" Y/N pushed. "I made my dog an instagram. Did he teach you any other instruments?" "No. That's cute. I want to follow your dog." Ben's heart fluttered when Y/N called him cute. "Whats the username?" "Here it's kind of long, let me type it up for you." He typed the username into instagram and clicked follow for you. "Good?" "yeah. She is really cute. So Gwylim called you Benjamin, is that your real name?" "Nope. Actually it's just Ben. Did you hear Rami likes Lucy?" "I did. I also know the feeling is mutual. Did you?" "Joe told me. So are you staying the night here?" "Yup." You had run out of questions to ask him. You knew you had to ask him soon. You were so nervous though. You were so scared he woudk reject you. But you were more terrified of not getting an answer. You had to ask him, and if you didn't ask him now, you probably never would. You were trying to come up with a question to stall maybe a little bit longer until you decided you were just going to do it. You had sat there for a good 25 seconds before you decided, YOU WERE GOING DO ASK HIM NOW. But the same thing was running through Ben's head. Why were you taking so long to ask a question? 'Here is my shot. I should do it now.' "DO YOU WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH ME?!" You both shouted in unison. You both sat there shocked for a second. "You... I thought... I was..." "Yeah... Uhh... I..." Then you both started laughing. "Well it's nice to know I wouldn't have gotten rejected." Ben said, scratching his neck. "haha yeah. Umm I don't really want to rush into anything, though. You know?" Y/N said "Yeah. No. I totally understand that. I didn't plan on rushing into anything." "This is all quite funny and all cause you know... Last night we did it." "WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT?! WE DID NOT-" Ben started but you cut him off. "wait we didn't?!" "NO. NO. I WOULD NEVER-" "OHHHHHHHH. It's just everyone made it seem like... And I don't really remember... No one clearly stated..." Y/N struggled to get it all out, Realizing how stupid you felt. But hey at least that means you will get to remember your first time, especially if it is with him. "I DID. Next to your dad." "You didn't look to sure." "That is the exact same thing your dad said." He said plainly. Suddenly Lucy stormed in. "It is 11:48. Keep your 2.97." She smiled at you and walked straight back out. "What was that?" Ben asked. "She dared me, for 2.97, to ask you out because she knew I liked you you, and she had a feeling that you thought the same." you explained. "Wait? WHAT?! AM I ONLY WORTH 2.97 TO YOU? DO YOU EVEN ACTUALLY LIKE ME? WOW A FUCKING DARE?! Nice to fucking know." With that he stormed out, leaving you in utter shock. Taglist:

@mcuandhp @mrsmazzello @murydedeus03 @inlovewithmycarboi @fuckinghurricanesoul @apinkwhisperscollector @bloodyantichrist @unicorngummybears @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank @cosmiclunas @brianapasteur @lelifesaver @bitemerog @sevenseasofrog @jelly-snow-stark @hopefully-aesthetically-pleasing @im-a-mazzellhoe @lady-renlyn @justonks @imagesofeveryone

[five-hour-anxiety]

depresssion vlog 😥😴👎💭🏳️ | The Theory Of Real Activity | thursday vlogs

Taglist: @zerogettie  @spacevirgil@tree4life25@thebiggestnaturaldisaster @pailettehazel@jordandobbertin@thecityofthefireflies @the-fabulous-kimball@azuranightsong@virmillion @erlenmeyertrash @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @the-sanders-sides @punch-you-with-friendship@captaincantatrice@clovenpinetree @jughead-is-canonically-aroace@aplaceinthevoid@that-random-fandom-girl @zennyo

Word Count: 4431

Warnings: depression and talks of anxiety

Pairings: platonic prinxiety, platonic logicality, platonic analogical

Summary: Virgil is in the middle of a spiral and the back to back bad days are making it hard to function. He texts a few friends for help, and this is the result.

Designated Nerd:  Virgil, it has been some time since I’ve heard from you. Are you feeling well?

Me:  i mean, am i ever fine

Designated Nerd:  Well that is indeed worrying. Is there anything I can do for you, or would you rather I contact our more… emotional friends? Do you need me to come visit?

Me:  no, i dont want anyone over right now. this is gonna sound so stupid but,,, could u tell me what u do when ur upset

Designated Nerd:  If it helps, of course. I tend to listen to stimulating music and take hot showers. Please try to brush your teeth sometime soon as well, as hygiene is something that we all tend to be lax with in these states.

Me:  i should have expected advice like that

Designated Nerd:  Is it not useful? I apologize.

Me:  o no, its good. thx lo

Designated Nerd:  Anytime Virgil. Do not hesitate to contact me if you need anything else.

 ***

Sir-Sing-A-Lot:  hey panic at the everywhere, u still breathing

Me:  wow didnt kno u cared that much

Sir-Sing-A-Lot:  of course i care u ass how u doing

Me:  i mean im not dead. thats a fucking victory dude can i get a hell yeah

Sir-Sing-A-Lot:  hell fucking yeah bro im proud of u

Me:  hey while ur here,,,, how do u deal with ur bad days.

Sir-Sing-A-Lot:  poorly

Me:  damn dude

Sir-Sing-A-Lot:  yeah well thats life but i also light candles and fucking moisturize. unlike u u heathen

Me: thanks u fucking prick

Sir-Sing-A-Lot: hate u too u asshole c u this weekend~

***

Pat-Dad:  hey kiddo!! haven’t heard a peep outta you lately, just wanna make sure you’re still okay!!

Me:  im not okay, actually. but im glad u texted bc i have a q for u

Pat-Dad: anything for you kiddo, tell me how i can help!! :)

Me: wat do u do on bad days. like, how do u deal with the shitty emotions

Pat-Dad:  language kiddo.

Me: hellcrab.png

Pat-Dad: i dont have the profanity manatee on me so just pretend i sent that. anyway! i like to watch a bunch of funny shows and sit around in my favorite clothes! gotta feel good somehow!! and like, a lot of pillows are involved.

Me:  is this permission to turn my living room into a pillow fort

Pat-Dad: absolutely!!! but make sure you eat something today kiddo,,, making food is gonna be better than takeout btw. Feels good to have made something, trick the brian into enjoying the food more.

Me:  brian

Pat-Dad:  *brain, oh hush up

Me:  thanks 4 the help. <3 u

Pat-Dad: anytime kiddo!!!! :) <3 love you more!!!!!

***

   “Welcome back to the Theory of Real Activity -- today’s vlog: not what you all signed up for.” Virgil sighed, running a hand through his hair. “As I’m sure a lot of you have noticed, or at least the twitter crew has, I haven’t been as active on the channel lately. And I’m sorry about that, but I think I’m ready to talk about why now.

   “As many of you know, I have depression and anxiety. No way around it, there’s the truth. Often, these diseases prevent me from functioning like a healthy person would. That’s what’s been happening to me for the last few months. I’ve had a hard time getting up and dragging myself anywhere, much less making new content for all of you. Talking to friends via text is really hard too, so Twitter is something I can’t deal with either.

   “And I know a lot of you out there are the same way -- heck, when I do use Twitter and the likes, I see messages like that all the time. And I’m happy I’m able to help you all through those days when I can. But I can’t always be around to make stuff like that, so today I’m gonna talk you guys through helping yourselves when the days get bad and the voices get loud, okay?

   “But don’t let the start of this video fool you -- this isn’t a ‘oh we’re all gonna be okay if we just believe!’ kinda thing. Because there’s a lot of those. Don’t get me wrong, those are all wonderful messages and I really appreciate them, but I don’t think we need another one right now. What’s the point in trying to be motivated when the energy just isn’t there? I don’t know about any of you, but I almost feel worse when I watch those because I know whoever is on the other side of the screen wants me to work for happiness and I just… can’t. I can’t do it when I’m that low. So, no, this is not one of those videos.

“This is something completely different, I really hope it clicks with a few of you.”

   The camera switches out of selfie mode to reveal a table full of shopping bags. Virgil laughs off-screen and there’s the sound of papers shuffling.

   “Ladies, Gents, and everyone beyond the binary welcome to ‘How to Kinda Cope with Shit Brains’, starring yours truly. Let’s begin, shall we?”

***

   “Logan, you didn’t tell me you were uploading a video today! What’s this one about?” Patton squealed, clicking on the notification. Logan peered over his shoulder, trying to make out the display behind layers of smudges and a few cracks.

   “I- I did not upload a video today as Thursdays are typically reserved for anything Virgil wishes to post. That’s why there have not been any midweek videos recently.” Logan pulled out his own phone, giving up on Patton’s, and quickly unlocked the screen. “There is no one else with access to the account, so who- oh never mind. That is clearly something of Virgil’s creation.”

   “My goodness, he sure loves emojis, huh?” Patton giggled, reaching into his pockets. Logan groaned something like ‘you have no idea’ and pulled out a screen cloth for Patton. The younger man took it and quickly cleaned off his screen before pulling out his earbuds

“Do you wanna watch it together?” He asked, dangling them in front of Logan. Logan stared at him, grimacing.

   “Do you know how unsanitary sharing earphones is, Patton? I have a split connector in my bag, allow me to retrieve it and we shall view it together.”

***

   “So, I have compiled a list of things my friends do when they’re having bad days, as well as a few activities of my own, and we’re gonna test them. I’ll take note of how I feel before I start, do the activities, and then I’ll rate them by how I feel afterward. And if that sounds complicated, it is! Kinda. Logan says it’s the proper way to test things, by having a starting point and an end point, so go ask him? I don’t know, he’s always talking about control groups and I don’t know about any of you but I don’t want to make myself have bad days back to back just so I can test a bunch of things ‘fairly’.

“Anyway, first up: Roman’s list. He- he actually didn’t have much to say, just “moisturize bitch’ so I just pulled ideas from what he normally does on off-days. Sorry, Ro, but you brought this upon yourself.”

   Virgil reaches into the bag marked “Bed, Bath, and Beyond” and fishes out a bottle of something pink, as well as a purple container of lotion and a green candle.

   “I know for a fact Roman prefers grapefruit face wash, so that’s what we got here,” he shakes the pink bottle, “so we can gift this to him when we’re done here. And we have a bottle of lavender-scented lotion to go with it. I read somewhere that lavender helps with anxiety or something, but like,” he points at the camera, “it just smells good, and I am not ashamed to admit to that. Don’t read too much into this.

   “I also bought a scented candle, because that’s the only other thing Roman offered advice-wise. I fact-checked this one, and apparently good scents are supposed to help you think more clearly? Or something. I don’t know, I read the article at four in the morning, there’s not much I can really remember about it. Four am Virgil is really bad at retaining information.”

   The camera jostles as Virgil picks it up and walks into his bathroom. “Uh, just for like, the starting point? The best way to describe this type of anxiety is the buzzing and tensing of your muscles and the tightness in your chest. There’s nothing I want more than to dive under my bed sheets and sleep until tomorrow and try again later.

   “But I’m going to do this, so wish me luck.” He mutters, turning the tap on and grabbing a washcloth. The screen cuts away to black as an upbeat nineties song plays, and the text on the screen reads ‘Roman’s results’.

   “So,” Virgil starts, his face covered in white foam, “this stuff kinda burns? Roman, what the hell is wrong with you, you like this stuff? Ugh. Also, just so everyone knows, the smell of artificial grapefruit and lavender do not mix. Like separate, they are really good smells but just… don’t mix them together. It’s a really bad idea. We may have to do my list next so I can let the house air out for a while. As it is, I didn’t even try to light the candle, we do not need to add spearmint to this stink bomb.

   “Beyond that? The face wash is definitely waking me up. I feel a little more ‘oh hey, I’m a person’ that I did before so, yeah. This wasn’t a total bust. And my skin is soft! I understand the appeal of moisturizing now! Roman, how dare you keep this a secret from me?” Virgil laughs, rubbing his hands together. “Holy shit I feel like a million bucks. I am keeping the lotion, you can take this demon face scrub.” Virgil reaches off screen and picks up the pink bottle, scanning the back panel of text.

   “So overall, I’d say Roman’s tactics work. You just gotta like, make sure you get complimentary smells so you don’t stink yourself out of your house,” He says, still reading the bottle, “And you should definitely read the instructions on the bottles because this,” He holds up the pink bottle, “says to wash off after a few minutes, and it’s been ten. I’m gonna go get this off my face now.”

***

   “Babe, you seriously didn’t read the instructions?” Roman howled, throwing his head back into the couch. He could hear Virgil scoff from the kitchen.

   “Excuse me, but I thought it was like one of those face masks you leave on for half an hour! How was I supposed to know!” He asked, walking back into the room and plopping down beside Roman. “They look the same when you put them on, and you have a few long-lasting ones that smell like grapefruit! I had no way of knowing!”

   “You could’ve called, man. I would have helped you!” Roman lifted his arm, inviting Virgil to crawl under it. He took it and wrapped his arms around the taller man’s chest. “You bought face scrub, which is definitely not the same thing. Both are good though! Just, not that same.”

   “Yeah, well, I know that now,” Virgil muttered, burying his head in Roman’s hoodie.

   “We can do actual face masks after this if you want.” Roman offered, picking his phone back up. “Your pores could really benefit from one.”

   “You’re a dick. Turn that thing off.”

   “Love you too, bastard, but there’s no way in hell I’m turning this off.”

***

   The camera cuts again, and this time Virgil is in his bedroom. The window is open, and the sound of passing cars is almost inaudible but still present. His peach walls are bathed in a warm glow of the setting sun, a light breeze pushing his bangs up every so often.

   “Okay so, next up is Patton’s list. As per my own ‘rules’, I’m feeling mentally exhausted and ready to check the fuck out right now. But despite this, I’m actually… really excited for this one? It involves food, there’s no way this can go poorly.”

   The video cuts to footage of Virgil screaming as food on the stove erupts into flame. The 1812 Overture is playing the background. Whatever was in the pan is no longer food, as the burnt sustenance is bubbling in an ominous manner. The oven mitt is no longer on Virgil’s hand and is instead in a smoky heap on the kitchen counter.

   “No way this can go poorly” Virgil’s voice echoes as he runs off camera screaming. He returns with a fire extinguisher, the lens becoming jammed with foam just before the video cuts back to Virgil in his room eating Chinese takeout.

   “Okay so. It turns out it can go poorly. Patton said that making sure you eat, like, actual food and not six servings of chocolate cake with a glass of cherry coke on the side is supposed to help with the depression thing but like. It definitely didn’t help with the anxiety. Something about the food you worked to make tasting better?

   “So, I cheated and ordered take out. But hey! This stuff has got a bunch of veggies in it, so I think I won this round. Moving on,” Virgil puts the food down and leans down to grab something off the floor, “Patton also recommended watching some shows that I know I enjoy, so let’s do that next.” Virgil puts on the purple headphones he had grabbed and pulled his laptop onto his lap. He clicks off the light on his desk and plunges the room into darkness with only his computer light illuminating his face.

   “We’re watching the entirety of the Brooklyn Nine-Nine Halloween episodes, so be prepared for a highlight reel of that while I stuff my face with rice.” He twirls his finger around in a ‘roll film’ motion and kicks his feet up on the desk.

   The camera cuts to a black screen once more, the same upbeat music playing in the background. The text now read’s “Patton’s results”.

   The next few minutes is a series of clips strung together, many of them consisting of Virgil mouthing the lines along with the characters, and screeching with laughter. The last one shows him crying into his takeout, mumbling about how much he loves the relationship between Jake and Amy. He had taken his feet down from the desk at some point, now curled into his chair and bundled in his hoodie almost entirely.

   The video cuts away to a slightly more composed Virgil, who is now cuddling a pillow and scraping the bottom of the takeout box. His eye makeup had run down his face over the last few hours and he looked unnaturally pale in the weird lighting.

   “Yeah that uh,” He coughs awkwardly, “that worked. Ten out of three Patton, way to go. Got my brain to shut up for like, I don’t know, two hours?” He takes a deep breath and puts the takeout container on the desk. “It’s late, I think I’m gonna just do Logan’s and I’s lists tomorrow.”

***

   “Should I be concerned that he set the kitchen on fire and didn’t call anyone?” Patton whispered, pausing the video. “Why didn’t he call anyone? Did he get burned?”

   “I do not think you speeding to his house would have done any good, Patton, as he got the fire out by himself. That being said,” Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, “he is not allowed to cook for game night. Ever. What was he even trying to make?”

   “He can join me in the kitchen ban, then. The store-bought cookie club just gained a new member.”

   “God help us if you ever cook together. I’d have to take out a loan for a new apartment. I already cannot pay my student loans, I fear the possibility of adding to my life debt.” Logan shuddered, reaching over to unpause the video.

***

   “Okay, good morning internet. It’s buttcrack early outside, I don’t even think the sun is up yet? That’s good, actually, and I’ll get to why later.

“So, all that’s left is Logan and I’s lists, and to be honest? Logan may have already won the whole thing, looking at this on paper. He actually cares about like, not dying by germs or some shit.,I can guarantee his list will be practical. I gotta go set some stuff up for my list, so hang tight.” The screen cuts to a slightly more awake Virgil.

   He grins and gives a tiny wave before tapping the screen to switch the camera and show a hammock.

   “So, I’m next. I’m also gonna save Logan’s advice for the end of the video so you guys watch this whole thing. Give people an incentive for sticking around. Because I can see the stats on this, I know half of you like, exit the video halfway through. Stay for the whole thing, dammit, I need the ad money.” He laughs, gently putting the camera down. The screen shows a new sunrise, one full of soft purples and oranges. Above the sun and its halo are a few stars that have yet to go out for the day, barely visible behind the hazy clouds. Virgil picks the camera back up, the footage shaky.

   The camera stills to a shot of Virgil’s legs, the hammock swaying gently in the breeze. A few frogs can be heard singing in the background and Virgil hums a few notes. His voice is low as he speaks, still rough from sleep.

   “Again, to follow my own rules: I feel so awful I don’t even want to talk about it, guys. Sorry.” Virgil is quiet for a while longer, the occasional whispered lyric picked up by the microphone. Eventually, he speaks once more, a lighter tone to his voice.

   “Sure, this looks peaceful, but if you could all hear what kind of music I’m listening to right now, you’d be calling my therapist. Hey, Paul, I apologize my bro, but wow are you not gonna like me the next time I’m in.

   “So yeah, my list is just ‘get sun and get songs’. You Gucci fam, just stay out here until you either feel good or get cold. Probably gonna be the last one but, hey, you tried. Gold star. Bring a blanket if you wanna aim for the best possible outcome.”

   The camera cuts again, this time looking down from what is assumed to be a porch. The sky is dark once more, and the only source of light is a small candle.

   “Huh. What do you know, the candle works after all. Spearmint -- the poor man’s anti-anxiety. You know, I actually looked that up. Spearmint is supposed to be a good stress reliever and some kind of mood booster. The more you know, huh?”

***

   “Virgil, what the hell does that mean?” Roman chuckled, rubbing Virgil’s arm.

   “It means that when I’m panicking at work I just pop in a breath mint and BAM I am suddenly closer to reality than I was ten seconds ago.”

   “Do I wanna know how you discovered that?”

   “I had a hangry panic attack in high school and the only thing I had to eat in my bag were breath mints I was meaning to gift to you.”

   “Oh, that’s pretty- hey.”

   “You could still use some, man. Keep your nasty breath away from me.”

   Roman just hummed, looking at Virgil from the corner of his eyes. He smiled softly, his eyes sad and concerned. Pulling him closer, he unpaused the video and listened as he continued to hold his friend.

***

   “And last but certainly not least, is the list of the late, great Logan. He’s not dead. He’s just always late to dinner dates. Like a pretentious nerd, his excuses are ‘oh, I was studying’, ‘oh, I had an exam’, or ‘Patton set the kitchen on fire again, call 911’. What an ass.

   “Anyway. This list, which doesn’t have a cool name because Logan is against emojis and stuff, just has like, five items on it. In order that is: brush your teeth, put on some clean clothes, wash your hair, put on some socks, and the last one is a surprise. Because it really took me off guard and I need you all to be as surprised as I was.

   “And right now, I just feel apathetic. In case someone gets upset that I didn’t mention I felt going into this, I just feel apathetic.”

   The video cuts away to Virgil’s bathroom once more, and the leftover mess from the other day can be seen in the sink.

“Uh. Just, just ignore that mess. You know what it’s from, I don’t feel bad about that. Anyway, teeth brushing. Let me just find the toothpaste…

“You know, I can’t remember if I bought toothpaste at the store. Of all the crap I bought, don’t think toothpaste made it into the bin. So, let’s just see if I still have any of the travel samples from the dentist.”

Virgil riffles through his cabinets, pulling out items such as combs, hair dye, bleach, and a bottle of pills. He hums for a second, before crouching down to look under the sink.

   “I feel like, and I could be the only one who experiences this, I feel like anything that gets put under the sink will never see the light of day. So maybe I won’t be brushing my teeth today- wait. Wait! Oh gosh, thank you Jesus- there’s a- there is a bottle in the back there, but I can’t reach it. Outta my way, makeup kit, I got teeth to be cleaned!”

   Virgil pops back into view, holding up a half used mini bottle of toothpaste. It’s the kid’s kind, that tastes like berries and bubblegum. He uncaps it and starts to squeeze it out onto his toothbrush buts stops short.

   ���Why the hell are there sparkles in this thing? That- isn’t that a, like, choking hazard or some shit? Okay, sorry Logan, teeth brushing is not happening in this video. I think you’d agree with me on this. When you get to this point in the video, feel free to add toothpaste to our shopping list.”

***

   “Jokes on you, Virgil, I added it yesterday when I spent the night and had to use that monstrosity.”

   “I use that stuff all the time, Logan, there’s nothing wrong with it! Look at me, I’m perfectly fine!”

   “That’s… that’s a, uh, great point Patton. Explains a lot.”

***

   “Okay, so next on the list was clean clothes. I’m doing that off camera, you nasties, so hang tight for a word from our sponsors.”

   The screen is black, with white text reading “crofters plz sponsor us logan is desperate.”

   Virgil reappears, in the same hoodie and shirt. He smirks, pointing at a pile of clothes on the floor.

   “Ha, I own two of these hoodies and three of these shirts. I am a cartoon character, y’all will never see me in a different outfit. You can dream, but my job is to crush those dreams.” He makes a fist as he says this, laughing through his teeth as he tries to appear tough.

   The camera cuts again, this time showing Virgil singing into a hairbrush while a towel is wrapped around his head. The scene doesn’t last long, as we are once again taken back to Virgil’s bedroom where he is set up with a laptop. This time he’s on his bed and the curtains are drawn.

   “It said to wash your hair, and you can’t wash hair without serenading the monsters living behind the shower curtains we all feared when we were little. Just because we aren’t afraid of them doesn’t mean they aren’t real!

   “Anyway, this is the last part of Logan’s list. It’s actually really sweet? Like, I am a grown ass man, and I am not ashamed to say I sobbed over this.” He continues, voice starting to tremor.

   Virgil spins his laptop around to show a YouTube video that’s about half an hour long. The title reads, ‘the best of Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street’. Virgil sniffs real fast, raking a fist over his eyes.

   “He uh, he knew these guys were my heroes growing up. And he knew it would cheer me up. Guess w-hat man,” Virgil sniffs again, “It- it worked like a fu-fucking charm. I uh, I’m actually feeling things after going through your list, so like. Nice work, I guess, I owe you dinner. Like, dinner at a restaurant, not a cooking dinner because I don’t want to poison you.

   “Ahem. Anyway. That’s the best thing in this whole video, you win Logan. And that about wraps up the Thursday vlog. Thanks for listening everyone, here’s the obligatory ‘we’re gonna be okay’ message, because as corny as that is -- it’s true. Find yourself a Bert to go with your Ernie and it’ll be okay. Maybe throw in an Elmo or a Zoey if you wanna round out the group. And my metaphor is getting too complicated, so! Virgil out! See you this weekend for the next Theory of Real Activity -- Logan and I are joined by Patton this time and we get into wild shit this week, let me tell you.”

***

   “Well, what are we still waiting around here for?” Patton asked, turning his phone off. He disconnected the earbuds, stuffing his haphazardly into his front pocket. Logan winced at the sight, and quickly but carefully wound his up into their case.

   “I’ll text Virgil to make sure he knows to expect us. Patton, if you could text Roman?” Logan asks, standing up and smoothing out his shirt. Patton nods, already poking away at his phone.

Me: Greetings, Virgil. Patton and I are on our way over to your house if that is okay?

Virgil Jackson: cant tell you no, you practically live here

Me: Yes, well, that is true. Is there anything I should bring with us?

Virgil Jackson: would it be lame to say a hug

Me: Not at all. If there is anything this group is good for, it’s hugging and crying. The occasional yelling, but that could go either way.

Virgil Jackson: whatever nerd, get over here already

[this-song-thats-only-for-you]

Bias Tag

Tagged by the wonderful @prettywordsyouleft

Rules: list the groups you like, your bias, and your bias wrecker. tag 10 people

1- Vixx

Bias: Wonshik (Ravi) / Jaehwan (Ken)

Ravi is my original bias from the get go, when VIXX debut I instantly found him attractive, his voice ( im a goner for a deep rapper) He also reminded me of Baro from B1A4 (get to that later). Jaehwan though crept up and made himself knows, i mean how can you not fall in love with that man’s voice?! Pure fucking talent with a voice of a god tyvm. And his thighs and the rest of him arent too shabby either >_>

Bias Wrecker:  Sanghyuk (Hyuk)

Now do not get me started on this Manhyuk, yes MAN HYUK!! I’ve always appreciated the maknae of Vixx but it wasnt untll recently that i started to appreciate him more. Boy grew up too well, his dancing has improved so much, as has his vocal training / abilities. That boy moves too well for his own darn good, and i’m weak for thighs..

2- Got7

Bias: Jackson

Where do i even begin with Jackson Wang.. again, being a rapper i loved his tone, physically he is the type that i go for ( i like them thick, no shame here) His genuine caring nature, passion and drive to achieve his goals and the fact that he will do anything for his loved ones, even make an ass of himself. Got me sold.

Bias Wrecker: Jinyoung

Jinyoung is my original JJP bias, and i chose him as my first Got7 bias too, he is practically perfect in everyway.. sassy, namja, built like a god.. voice like one too. Do i need to say more?

3- B.A.P

Bias: Himchan

It actually took me awhile to chose a bias in B.A.P because I didnt want to admit that I liked Himchan (dont ask me why) but it was obvious why i like him. I love his deep voice when he sings/ raps. I also admire the fact that even though he doesnt want to dance so much, he always tries his hardest. He’s sassy as fuck, and such a shit stirrer, but loves those boys like family.

Bias Wrecker: Youngjae

Where do i even begin with Yoo Youngjae? Sassy fucker at its finest, noona wrecker, sings like.. I dont even know.. his smirks literally kill me, as do his thighs. Seeing them in person made me realise just how fucking beautiful B.A.P are.. I hate and love in in equal measure.

4- B1A4

Bias: Baro / Sandeul

Like i said earlier I had picked Ravi because he reminded me of Baro. I’m literally weak for a good rapper, and no one can say that Baro isnt one.. because HELLO TRIED TO WALK ANYONE!? This man is a pure goofball, and such a talent. Duelie, well.. he snuck up with his amazing vocals.. his voice is one of the few voices i die over everytime i hear it, gives me goosebumps and shivers & literally makes me cry. Also his duckbutt is glorious..the man is built in ways that are just too much for this noona.

Bias Wrecker: CNU/Dongwoo

He is seriously such a sleaze, his voice and stage presence oozes it. He honestly fucks me up with how much he wants to fuck you through the camera when he performs. He is built the way i like too.. attractive namja ugh

5- Wanna One

Bias: Ha Sungwoon / Ong Seongwoo

Before I even saw Sungwoon, I heard his voice. His voice is what attracted me first, then i laid eyes on him, and well damn. He is so so handsome and cute, I also love the fact that he is short (i’m only 5ft) His stage presence is always huge and he puts so much effort into everything, he is a perfectionist. Ong.. was another one who’s voice attracted me first (and shamelessly he was one of the only ones I could pick out straight away at first when i saw him. He is unique looking.

Bias Wrecker: Park Woojin 

This one right here is literally the worst noona killer known to mankind (atleast to me) I try my hardest not to get attached to the younger members in kpop (me being almost 32) but talent literally flows out of him, his rapping, his dancing, this kid has it all. I only see bigger and brighter things for him.

6- Day6

Bias: Wonpil

I hated him at first, I didnt understand why he got so much, and i constantly complained about hearing him sing.. BUT he got on my nerves so much that I realized I actually loved the fuck outta this cutie. Now his voice is one of my favourites and hearing it does things to me. I appreciate this man like no other.

Bias Wrecker: Brian

I refuse to call him YoungK, his name is Brian. This talented asshole... has everything, rapping, composing, singing, bassist.. UGH It is literally so hard for me because these two rival eachother like no other constantly.

7- VAV

Bias: St Van

Again he is another member that I complained about, and didnt like at first, but i knew.. I KNEW he would creep up and take the bias spot. He is honestly so precious, and i love watching him cook and just be all casual. NAMJA

Bias Wrecker: Lou

He was my original bias, and I feel bad that St Van took his spot, but he still gives me moments where i am like... DAMN BOI. cos yeah.

8- EXO

Bias: Suho

He’s not my original bias in EXO, allbeit because a friend i once had biased him and made it so i felt like i couldnt bias him, but he is definitely my main bias. This man is pure fluff, seriousness, talent, attractive and a goofball. He honestly fucks me up with just one look.

Bias wrecker: Jongdae

Need I say more? LOL.. Jongdae was my original bias, the man can sing, dance, do it all really. Smirky, charming... UGH.

9- Seventeen

Bias: Chan / DK

Again I trieddddd to not like on the young ones.. but come on now people, Chan will fuck. you. up. That boy knows how to moves, he knows we like it and enjoys making you squirm. DK, his voice, i love love loveeee his voice, and he isnt too bad to look at, he is a giant fluffball and honestly does not act his age sometimes. Bias Wrecker: LEE JIHOON

I honestly overlooked him so much, and complained about him alot, why does he get so much? he’s not that great... I WAS WRONG. THIS MAN HAS FUCKED ME OVER SO BADLY. TALENT IS EVERYWHERE. HE PUTS SO MUCH EFFORT INTO EVERYTHING. HIS THIGHS. I DONT CARE THAT HE’S SHORT. IT MAKES ME LOVE HIM MORE. COME BE SASSY WITH ME.

10- NCT

Bias: Doyoung

This sweet doughboy of a man is everything. Great vocals. Great visuals. Dances and tries so hard. He is so very pure and fluffy and cute amazing boyfriend material, but also has a temper that you dont want to fuck with. I love that he’s sassy and serious, but also a cutie. wahhhh

Bias Wrecker: Lucas

I tried my hardest not to like on this boy, but FUCK does he not look like a man??? Cos damn he is so attractive it HURTS. I’m so glad he finally made his debut, you deserve it bb. Noona loves you!

I tag @annoyingtiger888 @hopesdreamsandalatte @noona-clock @hoshees

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #5: "his Kirby ass can shut the hell up” - Marie

Charlie being safe!? Yas. Good for me since he is part of my alliance.

An alice them challenge. Uh yass!! 🦑 i have the book so i can quickly look thru it and find people, items, food, and other stuff which is good for us. I dont want to go to tribal.

nicolegilmoreToday at 7:42 PM That was probably Kaleigh bc I would open messages and not answer them

that was about when we played before and she was part of a 3 person catfish. but funny enough it still applies to this game!!! love when she leaves me on read for 20 hours

So I feel good with my standing in this tribe tbh. I feel like I have made meaningful contributions to the tribe in challenges and have a good rapport with a few tribe members. Keaton and Marie might be the easiest too get out, even though I am aware that it makes me a threat but we been used to that feeling. Having the idol as extra security as well makes me feel good so eeeek. I just want too survive to merge and link up with new people and people who i know as well, and play off that. im super nervous but also excited, i just hope to god we win this immunity

At first I thought this Alice and wonderland challenge was going to be super fun an exciting. At first it was. Now its getting a little frustrating and annoying seeing Not Found (something along those lines). I'm hoping that our 28 items is higher than the other tribe's or at least being a tie. I want to avoid tribal still because still feeling sketch about this tribe.

Our search isnt doing too well. And nicole went missing and dont know she is. We have 28 items. Hopefully thats enough but i have a feeling in my stomach that it isnt and im scared. Dont want to go to tribal. Hope we win though. 🤞

if kirby does not tell me his great great great great grandmas waffle recipe hes done for. like why bring it up if ur not gonna share. ??? um we won immunity again and im so happy bc i dont want to go to tribal bc even tho there are MULTIPLE ppl i want out i dont want to risk it. stan list right now is dennis, naptime, matt, marie. everyone else? and matt and marie barely on there too... but um actually starting to like them and theyre more responsive now so love that! by the end of this game ill actually know things about alice in wonderland wooh!

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Okay so this sucks. We all really tried hard and we only lost by 2 points which is so frustrating. Not to mention that Nick and Charlie couldn't even find anything at all. And now we're in a really shitty spot because sending Nick home would be an easy out but he possibly has this legacy advantage thing which he can use tonight and if that means he's safe than idk what to do because I have a strong alliance with the other 4 people on my tribe. Which means now we have to come up with a plan to make sure Nick feels safe and he doesn't use his advantage but we still put the majority of votes on him. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Okay I'm laying it on thick with Nick. Really trying to play the middle and see where his head is at. I think honestly chances are Nick will make it through this round but I want to make sure after the vote he still trusts me but he does use his Legacy Advantage. Brian and I are walking a very thin line.

Yas. We won immunity again! 🦑 Still on of the 3 people not go to tribal yet which is pretty awesome. I’m now hoping that Charlie, Sharky, and Brian can find a way to survive again. Don’t want to lose any of them. Hopefully we merge soon. Its going to be down to 12 people after tomorrow’s tribal. Only ones to really talk to me on this tribe is Dennis, Bryce, Keaton and sometimes Matt. Havent talked to much to Marie. And Nicole ive tried but ignored. If anything it would be cool to blindside Nicole at first tribal in the merge.

I think im going to talk game to keaton today and see if we could work together. And im also going to see what Bryce thinks about us working together as well. Im just nervous if tonight we do merge at tribal, i dont want to be first boot. I want to make it far in this game.

I don't know if my last confessional went through, so I'll just send another one in hehe...

I do feel like Charlie is going home this round because of his idol play last round, but it could also be Nick going or him using his Legacy Advantage and all that being gone.  I don't really know, but I want to make sure it ain't me and that's what's important.

As for other things... love Sharky, what a king.  Love Nathan, another king... Annabelle's really cool, ya... I love Charlie but he's still probably gonna die... and ya kjHDA... that's all I have to say...

Scared for merge because L O fucking L... that's going to be a mess.  It could be coming tonight, but I really do not know and I'm scared…

Keaton decides to call me inactive in the tribe chat but his Kirby ass can shut the hell up, he's just bitter I voted against him the first tribal and he's tryna put the target on my ass. Thank god we won the challenge because I don't know if I would've stayed. I have good relationships with Bryce Matt and Dennis but I don't know if that's enough to keep me.

So first off. Sorry for no video confessional. But not enough happened to bramble around and take 3 hours of my internet for uploading slow AF but here is a small summary of what happened to my game. Idolsearch: went to the tugley woods again. I guess you need a map to find your way through it, but what do i know D: Last tc: Charlie played his idol and mentioned publically that all of his old tribe knew about that idol anyways. What kind of made me a bit suspicious. Mainly because when he told me, he said that he really wants to work with me and thats why he is telling me this secret. I don't mind that the idol is gone, but if he told that everyone? mhm... I approached maynor to see if he knew and he said NO. so maybe I did a whoopsie? WHO KNOWS.

Eitherway. Anna announced a "live challenge" after this tribal (oh yeah we are safe again woo), but since we would be down to 12 I wouldn't be surprised if that "live challenge" is actually the merge announcement? If not. I think EVEN IF WE LOSE i should be in a decent position? Because Keaton couldn't keep his mouth shut and when it came to sitting someone out and called out Marie in the tribe chat. Bad move for him, good for me. Because even if we go to tribal unless someone really wants to target me for some reason it should be between those 2

Okay so we've come up with a slightly complicated plan. Looks like I'm going to lose Charlie this round which makes me kind of sad because I really get on well with him. But it's what i have to do to get further in the game. We're going to split the vote so The Dinah Dudes vote fro Nick. The OG Absolem people vote Charlie. Anna tells Nick he needs to use his Legacy Advantage so we get rid of that from the game. I just hope I come out of this without hurting Charlie or pissing off Nick.

AJ just used an emoji that CHANGED. MY. LIFE. It's like praying and trying to stay calm and then fire happens and it says BOI! And if that isn't a fucking mood idk what is!

Y'all I am so bad at this idol hunt. I keep choosing locations that don't even have choices. Yikes. Everybody else has advantages and shit and I'm just sitting in an empty meadow.

I’m sad we lost i actually tried for this because I didn’t want a complicated tribal but bleh Idk how this will work but I think it will work out for the best potentially if it goes the way I’m hoping. I loved this comp though the hosts did a great job with it. It was actually fun

With merge approaching I think that it’s important I remember I really don’t owe anything to the people on my tribe... they voted out Jayden and told me nothing and I think it’s time for some revenge.. all you people in the viewing lounge stay tuned... Ima show you why I’ve never not made a merge!

I’m not sure if it’s day 13, I’ve been safe every single round and I have absolutely no clue how I am doing that.....Dennis is my one and only ally. Hopefully it's merge time!

Honestly, I think I might be going home lol. Brian and Sharky are telling me Nick but no one else has messaged me. Severely regretting using my idol now lol.

Hope my bois have still got my back, even though I haven't been that helpful in challenges recently. I'm hoping it'll reduce my threat level for merge hehe

Ive been talking to Bryce and wants to work with me. This is great. So on this tribe i have Dennis and Bryce and perhaps even keaton. So just nervous for live challenge.

LAST MINUTE SCRAMBLING. Sounds like Nick is trying to flip the vote on Brian. he asked Nathan and Anna to flip off of Charlie. So Now Brian is worried (Which is totally fair) because he doesn't know if he can trust Anna. So even if Nathan/Brian/I stick to the plan, if she flips and Nick uses his advantage Brian goes home. So now he wants to flip his vote so worst case scenario it goes 2-2-2 and we can fix things on the revote. Ugh I hate scrambling. I prefer my tribals over easy.

Charlie is voted out 3-2.