#me: oho.... ohohoho.......

[beelzeballing]

listen i try my best not to be a degenerate but the amount of pathetic whimpering jon does... lets say im not opposed to it. (<-just listened to episode 91)

[pechebeche]

bellara to neve: i read all the stories about you from the newspaper!

me, on top of my desk: KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS KISS K

[curiosity-killed]

Help

[thunder-point]

ik everyone is on the dom peem sub phum agenda. but listen. phum riding peem while peem simply can not touch him. cole, please elaborate 🫡

oho. ohohoho STAR

STAAAR

Ok let me see if I'm good at cooking at this late hour. Listen. Listen, my mind conjures this imagery. PEOPLE READING THIS ASK BEWARE OF EXPLICIT SMUT LANGUAGE!!! They're fucking late at night on Peem's bed. But it was a thing of the moment. It was something out of the blue. Peem just came back from a very late night session of painting at the faculty, and Phum took him home. One thing led to another, probably a bickering session and some goading from Phum, and suddenly he is being pounded into the edge of the bed, ass spread open carelessly by one of Peem's hands as he's driving into him, legs tightening around Peem's middle lest he wants them flailing in mid-air.

They're not even fully naked like, that type of sudden sex.

And like, Phum noticed that Peem is panting harder than usual, but he didn't say anything. Too busy moaning, going insane with arousal. But then Peem stops fully, his dick still very much throbbing in Phum's ass. And he's so confused. But Peem starts laughing breathlessly and admits that he hasn't slept in like 48 hours and he thinks he's going to pass out if he continues fucking Phum like this. He does a lil thrust and groans, but like in an exhausted way. And suddenly they're giggling into each other's mouths about the absurdity of the situation. So what does Phum do? Let his man sleep? No sir. My man uses those broad shoulders and those bulging biceps of his and flips them over. Now Peem's under him, still heaving, but completely boneless. Phum whispers that he'll take care of him then, and when Peem makes a soft sound of protest he just holds his hands pinned beside his head and starts riding him in earnest. And Peem can do nothing but feel it as Phum works his hips into tight little circles that make Peem lose his mind. He comes arching into Phum, and there's that.

STAR DID I COOK

[spamtoon]

PKNA Week... um. Five? Five

Hi! I'm Spam, I'm WAY behind, you know this by now. I'm letting myself read PKNA as a little break between reading allergy information because lord my head is spinning. It's two time

TWO ! we got some DOS action going on here! im stealing someone else's post where they went haha. dos! because uno--sorry

sick vr helmet donald has going on--i'd love for uno to put me in the neuron pod. sorry thats what im calling this thing because the wires kinda look like neuron. shoutout to the plane in the back

dhasam-bul. alright. can get behind yellow and pink those are colors i like despite spam being incredibly purple... oughgh the colors in duckburg are nice too sorry i just like how its pastel rainbow in this comic

uno so silly... we need more uno laughing at donald's suffering i think

donald's stupid smug face i'm so mad. men to say Who's laughing now?

shoutout to this random camera guy in the background. ooh... if there's a hacker type situation. and there's vr. is donald gonna go in the computer PLEASE that was always my favorite like. trope as a kid. when they'd go inside a video game or the internet or something and you'd see all these dated 90s depictions of technology it was the best looking thing to me no matter the quality of the episode itself. yes lets go digital was my favorite episode of phin.eas and ferb

i love how uno's always so cheeky. and you know what. he deserves to look down on other computers. ough the uno donald expressions are always silly in these opening sections i'm so glad uno's around so often

yesssss.... i should have guessed this by the fact there were all sorts of ones and zeroes on the cover but oho. ohohoho...

i would screenshot these donald uno panels too but there's so many of them and they're all so cute on this page ough. the little cleanup robots uno sent out are cute. not like in a megavolt way but in a "that's cute looking" way sorry i have to specify now

JFIOEAJFOIAEJ UNO JUST DROPPING DONALD DOWN THE ELEVATOR im so

sorry uno smiling is always a must screenshot

oughoughogugohgoghough now this is the SHIT i came here for! polygons. even like fake polygons. ohoho. oohhoohoo the clouds and the abstraction are a welcome addition but i like how he's swimming in it. yessssss

i don't know i'm just a sucker for this kind of like. abstraction view of the internet you know. its literally not how it works but damn it its so charming anyway. cyberspace...

this shot of angus fangus is so goofy like with the dialogue and everything. whiny man

the bubbly little like. glitch effects. ooh. ooh. i like how he punishes donald for being just a little selfish

okay so That's where that's going. angus fangus is seeing a miku-like projection right now i see i see sorry. okay now the king kong is kinda sick i'll give them that. rigging projection lights...

sorry im just laughing at all the goofy frames. like donald turning his back to uno suffering

i love the transition from serious donald to silly goofy donald. like all donald is silly goofy donald but paperinik just being like woof! i'm beat! after Deductioning is a treat to see okay

the cops harassing a guy just because he "looks foreign"? now that's the police!

donald likes going into cyberspace doesn't he...

i love how lying is bolded here. makes me think he's saying it like Lying! (jazz hands). the jazz hands are essential but he doesn't have hands so jazz... thoughts. programming. his processors are overloading!! his ram is getting too much information!! he's getting overstimulated!!

uno vocaloi.d when

i like how uno's first thought is uhhhhhh you see donald we could ummmmm toon.town online it! we could smash him, if i must proclaim, with hammers!

3d projector technology (at least for vo.caloid performances) literally us just like. using mutliple projectors with different things at different angles to produce one single image, so! i like how donald calls angus zuchini brain. reminded of bush brain and melon head...

this is my favorite person at the computer fair they slap

this panel slaps... sorry i just. pkna's hatching when used effectively sure is used effectively

:((((( god this plan is actually good like the dramatic irony here is spot on. donald can't tell why uno is stressed his expressions... the shattered uno orb.....................

ah i guess they are uno now. honestly bummer considering i thought they were going the other direction with it but considering this was bad enugh to make ducklair himeslf come back i should have probably seen this coming. and that he's two, uno with a triangle head. alright and he's already world dominating i miss uno

UNO!!! little stick ball uno... little guy's on backup now...

uno's face... HUFOEAHFE the way that he just SPROINGed away the electronic master key

this was a great issue! pkna does take a lot more to like. read than it does to engage with anything else but damn it. im a sucker for virtual crap and its always nice seeing a plethora of uno

[saemi-the-writer]

Like Disney Hunchback of Notre Dame? Then: Phoebus/Esme, Quasi/Esme, FrEsme please?

Oho, ohohoho? 😃 HERE I GO!!!

Phoebus/Esmeralda

Since it's Disney version we're talking about, HECK YES!! I loved them as a kid and I still love them as an adult. The two work very well together and have an excellent chemistry. I never agreed with the "Phoebus gets the girl only because he's handsome" and I get annoyed each time I hear/read a similar comment (especially when it's from a guy, incel much?).

The second movie did them dirty and a disservice so I'll ignore it because if these two had to face struggles as a married couple, there were more interesting things to work with like Phoebus struggling with PTSD or any sign/reminder that he's a war veteran and needs time to adjust, how would they live, what about their families, etc. That would have made them less bland and not made a fool out of Phoebus or Esmeralda accusing him unfairly of being judgemental when him not being was the whole reason she felt attracted to him to start with!

Quasimodo/Esmeralda

So far, I've only read two fanfics that had a characterization that made them work for me. Otherwise, I see them as platonic soulmates💞 I get why Quasimodo falls for Esmeralda (who doesn't? 😳) but let's not forget she's the first person/woman to show him compassion and to treat him with kindness and respect, and he idealises her, so it's more infatuation than true romantic love. Because yes, I do think and agree that they love each other deeply, just not romantically and that makes it even more touching in my eyes. I believe Quasimodo might find someone that will want to share their life with him as a spouse when he's ready too.

Frollo/Esmeralda

Now, I'm in a "divise subject" territory 😆

I understand why the pairing is popular, but too many fanfictions/art show Esmeralda as resigned and becoming submissive to Frollo's authority and sometimes cruelty for my taste. Sometimes, I feel like Esmeralda serves as a self-insert for some authors (which I don't mean as an insult btw) who are fond of the dominant man/submissive woman dynamic. To each their own, I guess, definitely not mine.

I'd like it a lot more if Esmeralda was the dominant one - and not just because I like femdom or out of spite or anything! Esmeralda is feisty, courageous and wouldn't just bow her head silently in my opinion; plus I am a big fan of the heroine/hero catching the villain off-guard and getting the upper hand (y'know, like they do in most stories but not to win/kill the villain here, see where I am going?) Show me Esmeralda getting things (cough) into her hands and making Frollo kneel!! It's a pairing I have difficulty seeing them have a happy ending without changing the characters quite drastically (not impossible though), so unless it's like canon: the one-sided and tragic end, I see it more as "it's complicated", star-crossed lovers at best or bittersweet, borderline or obviously toxic for the two of them.

[liauditore]

for some reason ur ask is cursed by an evil spirit and webbed site spilled spaghetti sauce all over itself when i tried to answer it so ig we're doing this now @sharksome-nen

half the board being coloured in but no bingo sums up me and this ship perfectly i think.

me being REALLY unhinged below the cut about toxic!fh (a teeny tiny bit neg/discoursey on empires if u squint). gets rlly abuse-y.

ohohohohohoh ur trying to get me killleedddddd.. :D

they're so special to me i hate them so much.

ok so uh i wrote a Whole Thing but it was getting way too ramble-y but basically uh. not a fan of romantic!fh. empires writing is very understandably not perfect and i saw some disturbing implications between the lines and couldn't help but fixate on them and it kind of soured any fluffy!fh fan content for me. sorry im a grinch and i was born with hate in my heart🙏🙏

but uh... if u take those disturbing implications out of the lines, x500 their size and severity, apply a dash of self-projection and start associating songs sung from the pov of abusers with it?? oho. ohohoho. oh that's. that's the good stuff.

i have this rlly cursed notepad doc where i basically vomit Ship Thoughts tm onto so here's the entire fh section copy+pasted. 👍

probably the most explicitly romantic and the most explicitly toxic. They DO love each other a lot. Jimmy looks up to Scott (he's so cool!) and would do anything just to live a happy life with him. I imagine that he's had a crush on him for the longest time from a distance, but didn't approach him until 3L because he didn't think Scott would look in his direction. Scott loves Jimmy deeply too but in the way someone might love a pet or a toy. "How's this poor thing going to survive on his own?" is probably what he uses to justify alot of what he puts Jimmy through. I imagine that Scott is someone who's lived a very monitored and controlled life (he gives me royalty vibes) and probably doesn't understand the extent of the abuse he's been put through or the way it's warped his perception of love. Love is a conditional commodity for him at this point in 3L and right now he's using it to buy some protection (never a good idea to go solo in a death game arena). So everytime he scolds or hits Jimmy it's always out of love, always for his own good, if he doesn't learn how to act now then someone will kill him for running his mouth eventually. Especially in the 3L Death Game. And Jimmy puts up with it and believes him because he hasn't learnt to respect himself yet. But as the games go on I do believe Scott begins to fall for Jimmy in a more genuine, kind way. Still not wholesome but he's very much not just extra numbers for safety anymore. He feels scorching regret for what he did after Jimmy dies but won't admit it to himself or anyone else. It's a selfish kind of regret, he hates himself more than he loves Jimmy, but it's still there. Post-3L Jimmy has some time away from Scott during LL before meeting Tango in DL, a partner who respects and even admires him, who gives him the space to grow and the trust to take risks that would better the both of them. Jimmy gains newfound confidence and a new perspective on his previous relationships, culminating in him actually standing up to Scott in LimL and refusing his offer to get back together. He's grown up. Scott, on the other hand, fares much more poorly. He is offered genuine love, unconditional love and it frightens him because he can't understand it (he doesn't think he's love-able). What does she want from him? He can't control Pearl the way he could with Jimmy and she Scares him. It doesn't matter, he can manage by himself (he always has) and he has an eye for finding kindred spirits. But it's not the same (he misses him). (he needs his Pet back) (he needs his Control back) He doesn't get it. final diagnosis: what should have been a beautiful love story twisted into something awful, divorced and should not re-marry even if Scott wants to.

ngl there is that.. little part of me that really wants jimmy to relapse and go crawling back cus old habits die hard, right? but on the other hand i. i want my son to be happy. sometimes.

I like writing characters with super messed up warped perceptions of love and hurt themselves and others in the process with it. its evil and sexy.

if we're gonna get into the whole song lyrics thing i really really love using mahiru's milgram songs for fh (even tho i associate scott more with muu). they just make sense to me. lyrics from haruko because i adore their covers.

(also uh these songs are about an abusive relationship and the second one has not so subtle suicide imagery in the mv so know that if ur gonna seek them out)

I'll love you till you fall And won't feel bad at all, Because I still get worried Could you please forgive me? Every little thing I only say to get to you Every little thing I do when "you and me are through" That's me loving you

Do my feelings drive you crazy? Sorry I don't care you baby. Tell me please, Tell me please, Why don't you ever love like me?

I just... i think scott genuinely caring for jimmy and wanting to keep him safe but like.. scott's brand of 'safe' is guard up at all times and manipulating those around you. and jimmy's useless at it/doesn't even catch on at all and it just ends up frustrating scott more.

Told you I loved you and then did what I did The right is gone and we're done, I'm crossed and covered in sin My love, it got it's lick back, Destroyed me, I deserved that, Tell the truth, Tell the truth, Why can't I ever love like you?

i LOVE the idea of scott regretting how he treated jimmy too late and still being in denial about it oufhlsdfhfls

so uh yeah it's an okay ship 👍

[ballonleastadiumofficial]

❤️💜

Opal: Bede, don't tell me this is what has you so worked up! It's just a cute little graphic, child- whatever could be the matter with it?

Bede: With all due respect, Ms. Opal, this is hardly the time and hardly your concern.

Opal: Hmph! I'd say you made it my concern when you roped my good tablecloth into it! Come now, tell me what is wrong.

Bede: Sigh... I- it's just- you have to understand- these people are toying with me, and I'll not stand for it.

Opal: What? What is it?

Bede: These "cute little graphics" have meaning. Look.

Opal: Oh!

Bede: So you understand?

Opal: Oh... Oh-hohohoho!

Bede: And WHAT is so funny!?

Opal: Oho... ohohoho... dear, help me understand. Why is this so upsetting to you?

Bede: Wh- Why?? Isn't it obvious? What reason would a person have to say this anonymously? "Um, it's complicated"... "it's complicated" indeed... as if the first point weren't complicated enough!

Opal: Child, calm down.

Bede: Clearly, it's an attempt at getting under my skin. What else could it be?

Opal: Is it? If that's the case, don't let their attempt succeed. Don't let them under your skin. Calm down.

Bede: ...Hrmph.

Opal: Child, it truly is not anything to worry about. Standard fare for a gym leader, I assure you. A simple little celebrity crush... They're a bit of a healthy ego boost, in my opinion. I'll say, I had my fair share of admirers back in my heyday! Ohoho!

Bede: Oh, and I just had to know that, did I?

Opal: Fine, fine. What I mean to say is that this anonymous likely meant nothing by their little message. It's best to simply thank them and move on. If they're truly serious about what they say, they can come out and say it, and you can respond however you like. Surely they'll know to take "no" for an answer, with "The Wizard" peering over your shoulder! I've got a few choice words for anyone who'd make uncouth advances toward you.

Bede: ...

Opal: Child. I mean to keep you safe. Whatever I need to do.

Bede: Hmph.

[jibunbosh]

scifi settings with the narrative conventions & themes of fantasy make me sleep. but fantasy with the narrative conventions & themes of scifi? oho. ohohoho. ohohohohohoho

[kingdomofhell]

Second attempt of the Evil's root.

The chill he felt before turning about on his heel when staring at the very face again and frowning at this person, “Haven't learned your lesson have you, should just learn to quit while ahead you know.” none other than Eve who snuck back in while he was having attention elsewhere and now dealing with this evil being too close again.

“You again? Why do you stand in my way, wretched man?!” oh how Eve had insult to injury when Lilith was smiling as if goading this first woman to fight again, “Let me see Lucifer!!! Ragh!!!” how such ichor looking veins shown on Eve’s skin and how said darkness dripped from her lips.

“You should allow it, hmm?? Not as if you're going to have much to say, pretty boy, ohohoho! Eve… try to not fail this time alright?”

Hearing Roo speaking in such a way was a bit insulting to him but they didn't figure out his true identity yet, “Well you ready for round two bitch? Hahaha, I mean you are one from how you're whining about the past after all.” ticking Eve off while letting that eldritch side out and working on a plan if anything when risking himself once again, “Takes two to tango right? Let's try again huh? Maybe you'll get lucky or something. Heh.” tendrils be wiggling about when circling Eve as she was to him with such anger in those eyes.

Ichor looking fluid be pulsing through her when worked up and oh how it be another bout it seemed, letting Roo to string the plot together when stringing such a grudge holding puppet so much along. Despite being the first woman it was plain to see some things never changed and how Lilith was a tad more used to battle than her.

Clashes between the two be making the ground shake as did a storm form while trying to keep this crazy lady away from the family, “I must say quite the arm you have, haha. Very lovely for such a crazy woman, ooh!” using his tendrils as a cushion when a hard blow hit and skidding across the ground with a laugh when missing such heated fun of fights.

“Out of my way pretty boy! Lucifer ruined my life, I shall pay that back harder now due to being in such pain for eons now!!” red aura be damned when Roo taken over and smiling at Lilith with such a grin on her face, “True so true… can't you see how he hurts people? Or you his latest plaything? Is that it? Pretty doll for that stupid King of Hell? Oho how funny is that! Ugh!!!” such words made him snap while such a dark purple aura formed and humming ominously with red eyes rather than the usual purple.

“Come again madam? A plaything? Don't make me laugh, oh by the way… hello Eve… Roo.” baring such a daring smile with sharpened fangs when revealing himself somewhat to them, “I rather keep my husband from harmful witches such as you, it's not my fault you couldn't please Adam back then. How droll you be going after him when willingly taken that fruit and becoming what you are now.” sharpened claws of darkness while music rang across the area while disembodied singing was heard and chuckling of his magic being a bit better nowadays when busy since his absence.

“You?! But?! Gah!!!” claws of Lilith be hitting tendons quite good when not in a good mood after that set of words, “Bitch!! Lucifer was mine first!!” screaming when claws cut at her face when face to face with Lilith who was oddly calm yet had such anger in his eyes.

“No no no!! This pretty boy is Lilith?! I should have known, especially when you kicked us away last time!!”

Looking at his nails when not amused before pressing a heel into Eve’s ribs with that soft tut, “Be a good girl and rethink things hmm? Besides holding a grudge is bad for your skin, Eve… look at you so ugly ewww… even when dripping with whatever you have too. Ugh!!” kicking her away like a soccer ball before letting that loud screech out when shifting form into a large abomination of a shadowy eldritch being.

“I will get you wretched Queen count on that!! AHHHH!!”

“We'll be back again pretty boy!!!”

Apparently having not much damage this time due to no weapons involved and yet shifting back quite tired due it been a while since doing that, “Only one that messes with Lucifer, is me… fun wrestling in bed or whatever else he desires. Oh dear… falling… oof!” face planting into the dirt with a squeak while his hat plopped to the side while so tired and not moving around much but breathing fine thankfully.

[brineffxiv]

Ohohoho! So preoccupied was I with happenings on the First I damn near forgot there's an entire other front to this story.

Varis knows who the Most Important Character is.

That's because you are a fool Varis. I have some amount of pity for you, due to how you've been used by Emet-Selch, but not much. You had every chance to make allies and turn over a new leaf but you're too much of a fascist and you believe too earnestly in the fictitious principles of your nation to do even that. Not to mention how you behaved towards your son and his death. You're despicable.

Actually, that's something I've been wondering about, why did Emet-Selch choose to have children? He founded Allag as well but did that by proxy, so why choose to become the Emperor of Garlemald personally? And to have heirs on top of that... It puzzles me.

...I just realized that Emet-Selch as Solus clearly must have had a wife at some point and that boggles the mind.

...Hey come to think of it, the women of the Galvus family are conspicuously absent. What's up with that? The story I read featuring Zenos said his mother died soon after his birth, but where are all the rest of them?

Okay, that's a tangent for later... back to the cutscene.

Oh that's not good. That's dangerous information for our enemies to have.

Those glyphs always looks so cool when the Ascians pop them out. I wonder what each of the different designs mean, if anything? Elidibus' looks kinda like a bird to me.

I'm pretty sure Varis' heart's desire is to see you all die slowly and painfully, but then what do I know?

Oho! My friend has returned! How touching he's concerned for my quality of entertainment.

The realization that Zenos has managed to, up to this point, remain entirely ignorant of everything involving the First and the Source is kinda hilarious? If he was eavesdropping on the entire conversation he likely just found out old Solus was an Ascian too.

I have some questions about immortality and how it works, but I'm not sure how to articulate them...

Interesting, very interesting. I wasn't aware you were capable of "enjoying" anything at all. Beyond, of course, our fight. But perhaps that is to what you are referring?

Badass.

[uncle-dusknoir]

You're the one with the "incomprehensible" opinions, are you? Ohohoho! You should know, you caused Bede quite the stir with that one!

Of course, fairies can't be for everyone. Eventually, he's going to have to realize that. How boring the world would be if they were! I find you to be a very green individual... not pink, not pink at all. A dollop of purple, though, perhaps? Oho, quite complex shades!

...All this to say, I hope Bede hasn't given you any trouble. Has he been bothering you, dear?

@ballonleastadiumofficial

one second i feel like I'm missing some context here

{blog backscrolling interlude...}

... Arc, I'm glad my anons stay normal. What the hell. Who sends stuff like that to teenagers on the Internet?? Normal and hinged behavior. anyway.

Nah, he's alright. Someone's gotta handle the fairy types, anyway. I fuck with him a little bit but honestly if someone did the same thing in reverse I'd probably fistfight them LMAO.

I didn't realize you knew how to... uh. Use the internet. Hopefully people aren't being weird to you, too.

I feel like every time I say that I'm jinxing myself.

{thank you for the ask ms opal. ms basil's watching very scary movies and i got scared and she paused the movie to answer}

... you don't have to watch with me, Porypory. I know Toothy and Deckard are here but I don't think they can comprehend what a Saw trap is.

[benkyoutobentou]

31 Days of Productivity Reading: Day nine

Before: You would think that, it being the weekend, I would have plenty of time to read. Oho. Ohohoho. That is not the case and I will be squeezing my reading into every nook and cranny I can find. Today I start reading 独り舞 by 李琴峰！

After: So I did not read at all before having to leave for my show. However, I have been reading during it (don’t worry the audience can’t see me and I haven’t missed an entrance yet). That being said, I’m giving up on timing my reading for the day.

A while back, I saw someone online talking about how they find connections between each book they read and that there’s always a thread running from one book to the next. I never noticed that in my own reading, but I’m definitely picking it up in my Japanese reads. Lots of it relates in some way to death, though, so maybe it says more about me and what I read than anything else.

Okay, if I reverse engineer my page count for today and average reading speed, I think I read for a total of an hour and a half today. That's using an average reading sped of 4.5 minutes per page and my page count for today of twenty pages. I wish I could have read more today, but alas. I do not plan on reading before bed tonight, as tomorrow starts daylight savings time (can you hear me sobbing over here?).

[the-craftsman-and-mover]

8 (Ask game)

Ohohoho. Oho. Yes. But the rest is not my place to speak upon. Craftsman no longer needs me to speak in their place.

- Keeper.

[snappedsky]

Borderlands: Skies the Ultimate Treasure Hunter

Skies, Timothy, and the Vault Hunters fight their way into the Handsome Jackpot.

If you haven’t seen my post about it, I’ve decided to change my update schedule. Instead of every other Sunday, Skies will now update every Sunday!

*Links to previous and next chapters in reblog*

--

The Handsome Jackpot: Chapter 1

It’s a rough ride as the security tractor beam pulls the drop ship into the casino. Skies, Timothy, and the Vault Hunters hold on tight as they’re jostled around, until the ship finally lands inside the casino’s entrance. The hatch opens up and they stumble out.

“Sorry about the rough entry,” Moxxi says through their ECHO communicators. “Security tractor beams don’t play gentle.”

Just in front of them is a large door with the Handsome Jackpot logo and ‘WELCOME’ displayed overhead in bright neon letters. As they approach, they pass by machines with a big button that reads ‘Win’. Zane presses one and money pops out of a drawer.

“Hey, free money,” he smiles.

“Oh, it ain’t free,” Skies replies, “you now owe the casino like a thousand dollars.”

“What? But I only got two hundred.”

“Yeah. This whole thing is rigged as hell.”

“That’s Jack for ya,” Timothy grunts.

They go through the entrance into a big hallway with velvet carpeting, tapestries of Jack’s face on the walls, and big windows looking out into space.

“I’ll keep Sanctuary away from the casino before we all become permanent guests,” Moxxi says, “Jack’s idea of a good customer was one that couldn’t leave.”

“Was Jack really that big of a dick?” Amara asks.

“At least those have redeeming qualities,” she replies, “Jack was a tyrant and a bastard to his core. The only thing he loved more than himself was making others hurt. He left scars on all of us.”

The Vault Hunters glance with concern at Skies and Timothy, who regretfully glare at the ground, clearly lost in memories.

Skies quickly clears her throat. “This place must’ve been locked down since Jack was killed by the last Vault Hunters seven years ago. Who knows what’s been happening inside so be ready for anything.”

Everyone nods and keep their weapons ready as they enter a large room with giant statues of Jack. They press through it into an even bigger room as camera flashes go off. Up a small set of stairs is another doorway with ‘CASINO’ in big letters overhead, and over that a large hologram of Handsome Jack appears.

“Jack here! Welcome to the Handsome Jackpot! Who’s ready to give me their money?” the hologram exclaims.

Timothy shudders. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard his actual voice.”

As the team approaches, they notice the doorway is actually blocked by a large slot machine. “Hey-hey-hey, we got a new chump! I mean customer. Ah, whatever, you’re already here. You gotta spin the wheel to get in, dumb-dumb,” the hologram explains.

“Alright, have at it, kiddos,” Skies says. She motions to a lever sticking out of the mouth of a statue of Jack’s face in the floor and Moze pulls it.

“Ohohoho, what are you gonna win? I’m so excited,” the hologram cheers.

The slot machine flips to three faces of Jack and flashes red.

“Oh, sorry, kiddos,” the hologram says, “the Jackpot can detect poverty-stricken Vault Hunters a bazillion miles away. VIPs only, bitch.”

“Wow, he is a dick,” Moze grunts.

“It’s also detected lazy subordinates who should be doing their jobs instead of slacking off at my casino,” the hologram snaps.

“Oh, slag you, Handsome Jack-off,” Timothy groans as he and Skies flip it off.

“Ooooh, insubordination detected.”

“I’ll show you insubordination,” Skies snaps as she whips out her pistol and shoots the hologram. The bullet passes harmlessly through its head, but it seems to be piss it off as more red lights start flashing.

“Oho-kay, how about a consolation prize,” the hologram says, “let’s see what you’ve won...it’s a bunch of murder-bots! You’re so stupid.”

Loader bots digistruct into the room and begin firing at the team. They quickly duck behind cover as the Vault Hunters fire back.

“Been a while since I’ve seen these guys,” Skies remarks, “you gonna be alright, Tim?”

“Yeah,” he replies as he readies his SMG. “No problem.”

Together, they tear through the onslaught of loader bots, but more just keep coming.

“The house always wins, Vault Hunters,” the Jack hologram says, “and I’m the, uh...well, I’m basically the frickin’ house. Whatever. You’re gonna die now.”

“Ugh,” Skies groans with disgust. “I have not missed the way you never shut up. We’re not playing Jack’s game. Cover me, guys!”

She stands up as her friends lay down cover fire and pulls out two small bombs from her coat, which she whips at the door. As soon as they hit, she activates their detonators and completely blows up the giant slot machine. The Vault Hunters finish off the remaining loader bots, and no more show up.

“Oh, you survived. Congratulations,” the Jack hologram says sarcastically. “But that’s a shame for you, because the cost of every one of those loader bots- and the frickin’ door- just went on your tab! Now you’re in the debt to the Jackpot, kiddos. Once you’re in, you’re never getting out.”

“Tch, whatever. I can afford it,” Skies grunts.

“That’s Jack for ya,” Moxxi says, “dead seven years and he’s still trying to screw us. But don’t worry about that debt. Once I’m in charge of the casino, I’ll wipe the slate clean.”

Skies, Timothy, and the Vault Hunters go through the smouldering doorway into a room with ambient lighting. On either side of the walkway are rows of slot machines as they head up to another doorway flanked by two golden Jack statues.

“That debt scheme is how Jack kept people from leaving the casino- and from winning,” Skies explains, “since they’ve been stranded all this time, they’re probably not gonna be very happy. Stay sharp, kiddos.”

They go through the doorway onto a balcony of a very large room lit up with many neon signs. On the floor below are more slot machines and goons with guns.

“Hey, meal ticket!” a scruffy voice shouts. “Wanna play?”

“Case in point,” Skies grunts as she grabs her assault rifle.

The team ducks behind the banister of the balcony and begin firing at the goons. As they do so, a large door on the other side of the room opens up and loader bots march in.

“Oh, crap! Loaders! The boss is after us!” a cowardly voice cries.

“Boss?” Timothy questions.

“Somebody else must have taken control since Jack died,” Skies muses, “whoever they are, they won’t give it up easily.”

Even with the added loader bots, the team make quick work of their enemies and head through the now opened door. They enter an exterior area with trash on the ground and graffiti decorating the walls. In the distance is a large, golden structure reaching into the sky.

“That tower is the control centre,” Skies explains as she points to it. “To take over the casino, we’ll have to get inside. And probably whoever has taken control since Jack’s death is there too.”

“Hopefully they won’t give us too much trouble,” Timothy adds.

“I hope otherwise,” FL4K argues, reloading their shotgun.

“There’s a subway connecting all the parts of the casino,” Skies continues, “I doubt it’s working, but we can follow the tracks to the main strip and from there we can reach the tower.”

“Sounds easy enough,” Zane comments.

The team go down multiple sets of stairs until they reach a subway station. Bandit hovels have been set up and more enemies emerge out of them, guns blazing.

“Ugh, great, more of this,” Timothy groans.

“Don’t sound so disappointed, Timothy,” Amara grins, “this is the fun part.”

The team race around the station, taking out all the bandits. Once it’s clear, they head down the tracks into another bandit camp. Here, they meet a particularly large bandit with spiky armour.

“You the one in charge here?” Skies ask.

“I’m Third Rail!” he barks, “turn back now or by all means roll the dice, if you’re feeling lucky.”

“I make my own luck,” she grunts.

“That’s it, meal ticket! I warned you!”

Third Rail whips out a large rocket launcher. The team doesn’t have time to dodge as he fires, but Moze hops into her Iron Bear mech and blocks the shot, taking the brunt of the explosion. Skies leaps over her as Third Rail is reloading and lands on him, tackling him to the ground. Before he can try to recover, a blade pops out of her right fist and she smashes it into his face, turning his head to mush.

“Nice punch,” Timothy comments.

“You good, Moze?” Skies ask.

“No problem,” she replies as her mech disappears. “My Iron Bear can handle anything.”

The team leave the bandit camp and follow the tracks, stopping when they reach a dark tunnel.

“This will take us to the Spendopticon, the main strip,” Skies explains. “Moxx, we’ll likely lose you as ECHO signal gets spotty the deeper we go into the casino. Can’t have customers calling for help after all.”

“Then I should be forward with you,” she replies, “this heist...it’s personal. Jack and I were an item, briefly. Back then, I dreamed of opening a casino. Jack even promised to bankroll it. But he turned out to be a psychopath, and calling the breakup messy would be generous. He stole my designs to build this place, and taking it back is my way of scratching him out of my books forever.”

“Then I guess we both benefit from this heist in more ways than one,” Skies says, “you know, I’ve been wanting to use what I’ve gained from Jack’s legacy to try and help the people he screwed over. So let’s consider this casino my make-up gift to you for having to date Jack.”

Moxxi chuckles. “Deal.”

“Alright. We’ll keep you updated as much as we can,” she smiles and nods to the tunnel. “Let’s roll, kids.”

The team enter the darkness and head deeper into the Handsome Jackpot.

[ariadne-mouse]

12 and 19 for the Spoti-fic wrapped! (sorry for the pun)

Never apologize for a pun. Ever.

12. favorite character to write about this year

I could easily say either Essek or Caleb, but I'm going to go with Uraya Hythenos in a man by any other face. As they are a mostly blank slate in canon, characterization-wise, I hugely enjoyed bestowing upon them a sense of piety, honor, droll humor as a love language, and a complete disregard for Essek's dignity. While writing and editing, their lines made me smile the most.

19. any new fics to start next year

Oho! Ohohoho. NEW fics to start. Oh dear. If I ignore the side-eye I am getting from from my current WIPs, Echoes 2 and The Anachronist, I might dip my toes into C3 material! Ashton's chronic pain strikes some chords with my own life that might be therapeutic to explore a bit, and Dorym and Imodna have some fun potential as pairings. Though I have to say I'm also very content just watching C3 and watching the story unfold for now. Shadowgast is still there with - as always - endless potentiality. Maybe it's gauche to crowbar them into the setting of the new campaign, but I have jokingly suggested a number of ficlet ideas that I can't say I won't write, including:

Essek hiding out in Yios

Shadowgast taking a trip to Yios when they're newly together and the shine is on everything. One or both make the mistake of eating the shrimp. Sometimes, romance is making sure your lover is staying hydrated during unspeakable digestive catastrophes.

Planerider Ryn and Essek Thelyss Arcane Taxi Drivers Anonymous Support Group

Shadowgast & the Apogee Solstice (with Essek's interest in leylines he must be aware!)

But really, I'll just chew the ideas as they come. I do want to finish my two major WIPs - not counting mercaleb because that is already finished - and then I'll have a little authorial existential crisis (as a treat) before picking the next thing! Who knows what inspiration with hit me over the head with a sledgehammer.

[fanfic wrapped meme]