#me: im not writing a fic for this au; i’ll just ramble about it when the mood strikes

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

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omega disciple shen yuan au pt 2 electric boogaloo

cw for the sex pest again but…mans will not be returning lmao (nor will that theme, probably)

shen yuan is nine years old when the brothel madam—nainai, she insists—starts having him run errands. picking up tea from the mings’ shop down the road, dropping off letters and packages for people around town. he’s gotten stronger, healthier. the farmers who sold him must not have fed him much. he’s gone from stick thin to youthfully soft; the dark smudges beneath his eyes have lightened. the village sits in a mountain, on a plateau that jiejie says was formed when a huge demon blew the peak off the mountain a thousand years ago. shen yuan doesn’t believe her, but he stays wary all the same. he knows what mountain range they're in, after all. he knows just as well as everyone else about the immortal masters up on the peaks. he isn't thinking about it. he's not a cultivator.

he is still young, his heats still dry and soft. they don’t make him work when it comes; all the brothel aunties bring him silks and blankets and help him nest, and nainai makes sure there’s always at least one auntie there to look after him. distantly, shen yuan knows that heats are supposed to be a hassle for grown omegas. he's staunchly not thinking about it—instead he sits cuddled up with jiejie or gege or one of the aunties and reads them stories. heats really aren't so bad.

nainai and all of the aunties always said if he starts to feel heat sick while he’s out running errands, he has to come back immediately. it's a little overbearing, honestly. he isn't stupid; he knows how to take care of himself. he hasn't frozen up since that time with that alpha, and he knows to run away if something happens again.

he's been a little warm the past few days, and his nose has been really sensitive—irritating, really! he curses the shitty author in his heart every time a guest with a rancid scent strolls into the brothel. but two little symptoms don't mean it's pre-heat. gege got him a journal to track his heats with, and it's not supposed to come for two more weeks. he's fine.

so he hides his fever and stifles his gags when nainai asks him to to go drop off a package at the tea shop and pick up more of some special tea. uncle ming, the tea shop owner, always gives him candy and snacks and stuff when he comes by. there’s no way a little fever is gonna make him miss out on free candy. whether he’s nine or twenty-nine (his age is another thing he isn’t thinking about. sometimes he almost forgets he was grown just two years ago. sometimes he forgets that none of this is really real. don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it), free sweets are free sweets.

the sun is setting, so nainai tells him to be quick. the tea can’t wait until the morning—the prickly man is coming again tonight, and it’s some special blend he needs as soon as he arrives or something. shen yuan doesn’t really care; he’s just excited to go see uncle ming. so excited he runs the whole way there. it’s still light when he goes inside. uncle ming gives him snacks and sweets, pats his head and praises him for being so helpful. he catches shen yuan up on the neighborhood gossip—there are rumors about this person, that person is pregnant again.

they keep talking until after the sun goes down, and when uncle ming realizes it, he tries to convince shen yuan to stay for the night. his wife and daughter, both betas, are away, and he doesn’t want to send shen yuan to walk back in the dark alone. he’s an omega too, and he says he’d walk shen yuan there himself but his nose isn’t good and it’s dark out. with no way to tell if someone was sneaking up on him, he’d be in danger. it’s fine though. shen yuan’s nose is good, and he’s not stupid. the thought of spending a night away from his nest makes him itchy. plus, he’s already late getting the tea back for that man, and nainai said it was important.

uncle ming scents him with one of his wife’s cloaks, then wraps it around his shoulders. hopefully, he says, the scent will scare off anybody looking for an omega to bother. auntie ming’s scent is nice—not like the aunties at the brothel, but it still makes shen yuan feel secure. the cloak is a little long, but that’s fine. the walk is only ten or so minutes. he’s sure it’ll be fine.

he’s wrong.

it’s been two years, and nothing really even happened, but shen yuan still remembers that alpha’s scent. there’s no reason to remember it. nothing really even happened, just a kiss on the forehead. a hand on his thigh. eyes dark and possessive, like he wanted— but nothing happened. that alpha’s probably on his way home from running some errand, same as shen yuan. he picks up the pace.

the scent follows him, and his middle starts cramping, and when shen yuan accepts that maybe he was closer to his heat than he thought, he starts running. gets maybe three steps before his legs get tangled in auntie ming’s cloak, and before he can hit the ground, there’s a hand pulling the fabric tight against his throat.

that alpha coos at him, calls him sweet. he’s scarred now, ragged claw marks tearing from his eye down to his neck, and shen yuan remembers nainai’s bloody hands after she took the man outside. nainai isn’t here now. shen yuan should’ve stayed with uncle ming.

later, he says he only remembers flashes of what happened that night. hands on his face, his thighs, inching between his— sharp teeth dragging along his neck. he remembers that alpha’s voice, but not what he said. he remembers crying, remembers saying he’d scream if the alpha didn’t stop. he doesn’t remember screaming. he remembers a tingling under his skin, a tightness in his belly, a rush and a wave of something he’s never felt before. he remembers opening his eyes and seeing the alpha lying dead on the ground, his chest caved in and blood dripping from his eyes and his nose and his mouth.

shen yuan remembers picking up the box of tea, half spilled on the ground, and turning to run. he remembers bumping into a man with the coldest eyes he’d ever seen, but a scent that felt familiar. remembers looking up at him from the ground, saying please, please, please—but not what he was asking for. he doesn’t remember anything else.

[crazylittlejester]

Introduction Post!! ✨

edit: Oct. 14

-> HI HELLO!! My name is Jes and my pronouns are he/him

-> I write on ao3 under the user Can_Opener

-> i have the same @ over on bluesky :) (link: crazylittlejester)

-> I primarily write LU stuff but also I have my own Links Meet AU over on @linked-through-the-centuries! (Here’s the link to the fic on ao3) (it is slow to update, not abandoned!!!!) (if you have questions you can ask me about my blorbos on this acc or the lttc blog, either is fine :) )

-> WHUMPTOBER FIC MASTERLIST

-> Jes’s Miscellaneous Modern Au

-> Fic Master List

-> FIC REQUESTS: CLOSED FOR RN!! but im keeping the linked post about it HERE because i’ll open em back up when i finish what i have :)

-> Asks are always open and anons are back on! Feel free to speak your thoughts, drop in and say hi, share headcanons, theories and/or ideas, I love to read them! You can say whatever you want. I am dyslexic and autistic and it’s hard for me to read tone through text and also the words in general sometimes, so please try to be very clear when you talk to me so I can understand, I am unfortunately also stupid :/

-> I’m also totally fine with DMs, HOWEVER: Please speak incredibly clearly to me, again I struggle with understanding tone. I am fine with DMs if your intention is to YAP, because who am I to silence a yapper?? Speak to me about your interests, I will listen >:) I am not okay with: vague/threatening messages, venting without asking, spam. If you wanna chat or talk that’s absolutely fine, I love talkin’ to people and I’m totally down :) Basically just be kind to me, I am a person too, I do have feelings and such

-> sometimes my dms are mean and like to not notify me so i also have a discord, if you want that just shoot me a dm and ask :)

-> This is my sideblog but I seriously treat it like my main blog at this point. I mainly post Zelda/LU thoughts, but you will see me talkin’ about other random things

My yaps all have #jes talks in the tags, my fics are #jes fic, any asks y’all send are posted with #jes ask, #jes rambles is me losing my mind most of the time, #jes rants is more serious and personal stuff, and my art on the rare instance where i post it is tagged with #jes art

Remember to drink some water and take care of yourselves! :)

[timeregistry]

omg dude i love ur sebastian!!!

and if u want, i’ll tag u when i post my painter design

i’d also like to hear more of ur ramblings about pressure or anything of the sort :3

have a good day!!!

TYSM!!! I'm glad people like him 🥹He's been my everything since I got into Pressure, let's just say that the AU of my fic had lived in my brain since forever before I started writing LOL

OH and also I would ADORE to see your Painter design PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 I LOVE PAINTER SM I LOVE ALL PAINTER DESIGNS

ALSO sorry for answering this so late I got injured (again...) and it was hard to write but also I’m INSANE like IM CRAZY you literally put on a silver platter that I can talk about ANYTHING like DUDE. IM CRAZY. I jump around fandoms a lot so to say that I have a lot on my mind apart from work is an understatement (let's just say earlier I went crazy about regretevator...... it's bad)

SO to organize my thoughts, I've been really wanting to actually talk about like... some thought process stuff of my fic (A Human's Touch) and things that happen before the fic... since SO MUCH happened but I don't mention it because we are put at a specific moment in the story... VERY VERY Sebastian and reader focused so TW: Sebastian Solace 😔

Under cut because its LONG. LIKE. REALLY LONG. I HAVE TOO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT LMAOOOO

SO pressure's lore is a MESS don't get me started on how I feel about the current lore so I decided that since no one really saw the timeline or pretends it doesn't exist as they should, I feel it's a bit unlikely Sebastian would be able to convince Painter to start killing people after meeting it TWENTY MINUTES PRIOR T_T (and hacking all of Urbanshade network in that time?!) so that's why I actually made (in chapter 7 that is not on tumblr rn LOL) them meet. I mentioned in a comment on AO3 since someone had asked smth about Sebastian and just to give an idea, the start of A Human's Touch happens a couple of months before the events of Pressure. SO at that point, Sebastian and Painter have known each other for months. I would LOVE to go into detail how I see their relationship is when the lockdown happens + what happens with reader but I DONT WANT TO SPOIL ANYTHING T_T so maybe when I finish the fic I'll go into detail as I'm not actually really planning on writing the actual like.... events of pressure w/ reader instead I guess, idk how to put it, just to let you in a little secret, Painter does know part of Sebastian's plan when the lockdown happens in this universe.

So enough about Pressure lore and what I changed from that, I wanted to talk a bit about before the events of the fic... I didn't write it since I felt it would be very Sebastian and reader centric and since it was most likely going to be in a platonic sense I wasn't sure if people would be interested! To admit something since I don't imagine many people will read this but originally I had written a fic that was with Sebastian (it was more romance with him tho as I was down HORRENDOUS I wrote so much Sebastian y’all have no idea I got jumpscared trying to find some of my old things to reference and seeing the sheer amount of Sebastian) which was actually where the original summary of A Human's Touch came from HELPPPP LIKE ORIGINALLY IT WAS A PARAGRAPH OF MY FIC I JUST EDITED IT T_T I never post what I write I'm surprised that I even posted A Human's Touch but I digress. Anyways I had originally considered writing a platonic version of that fic (not like that one was finished) but in the end I never did since again, I didn't think anyone would read it--

Either way, here is a TLDR of how reader and Sebastian met. Basically reader came in as an intern to Urbanshade right? How I imagined it was that they actually had seen Sebastian when he was still in his big ol heavy containment aquarium. While I think he still needs to go there when Urbanshade wants to contain him, I imagine reader met him when he was MOSTLY in there... While he could leave as his status as an MR-P made it so that now he could leave and free-roam, I imagined that he never really saw a reason to do so... I think atp Urbanshade hadn't really found a good reason for him either, as he was soo unpredictable because of how aggressive he was with them. SO they just leave him in his cell basically, its good to see if there were any longer terms effects of his… condition. He would normally just look into the window and look at any of the scientists.

Now how I imagined his heavy containment cell was that like, an aquarium. Like there is this big window where you can see him but I imagine that he had this like area at the surface of his cell that there is like a walking area but it was specifically because not only is he an MR-P so its like a little better than his old cell but also because he was exactly for an experiment that was to make humans be able to breathe over and underwater so I like to think they want him to take in oxygen naturally anyways–

MS Paint jumpscare but something like this

ANYWAYS I imagine reader had seen him from the window that you can peak in from just him swimming around and being completely fascinated by him. Stuff happens, and they decide to try to see him without their superiors knowing so... I decided I would pull directly from one of my old fics:

You first met Sebastian fully at night, when most scientists were already resting in their own quarters. You were already shown where you would stay, yet you couldn’t get the image of Sebastian out of your mind. You wanted to meet him directly. He was the first of the subjects that you met, against all safety protocols and you remember he himself mentioning it. He was rude and in all ways, a certified asshole, immediately tricking you by making you walk a bit too close and effectively making you fall in his tank. He didn’t keep you there however, you knew he didn’t like your presence but you couldn’t resist wanting to learn more about him.

How I imagine reader's and Sebastian's relationship was just, a really rocky start because we have reader who wanted to know more about him and then we have Sebastian who didn't want to know anything about reader because they are just another scientist. He never left his containment either because I imagine that the other prisoners would give him funny looks and dislike his presence because of how he was. I think... he was very bitter. It took a lot for him to warm up as he did… Especially with someone who was one of the scientists! 

“You really don’t know do you?” Sebastian snarled slightly, his casual facade crumbling briefly as his expression went more of pity. “Of course you don’t, you keep coming in here as if I can’t kill you right here and now.” You frowned at him. “I’m here to learn-” “You are trapped. They have you right where they want you. The moment that you have served your purpose they will kill you.” He put a claw near you, his other hand flaunting his sharp nails. You took a step back, sensing danger unconsciously. He noticed, his trained eyes on you like a predator. “Word of advice, start making yourself useful and leave me alone.”

I always saw that reader was treading on treacherous waters... always seeing Sebastian secretly at night and after talking with him, he would eventually warm up because whether he liked it or not, I think he was lonely. Because he would live without speaking with anyone and talking to someone who's a lot more genuine... I don't think the reader is like the other scientists at all, I don't think that it would even be known what Urbanshade was doing! I think Urbanshade just flaunts a lot and doesn't hide anything, but makes any new interns or hires go through the longest paperwork part of their work EVER to see if they are dedicated before kinda forcing the unethical experiments... basically like roping in with mundanity and beauty, the curiousity on how these beautiful sea creatures are made only to find out that it was all done with torture--

SO my point is that reader didn't know what happened to Sebastian, nor knew why he was so standoffish, they were forced to do ONLY paperwork and their free time went into seeing the subject that they can see very very easily. It was like... just the curiousity of what Sebastian was, what he was capable of, etc etc. I don't think reader even knew that he was... human. And he doesn't mention it either... I think he only mentions it soooo much later... As for Sebastian’s side of things, I imagine he decided to entertain the reader only because atp he’s thinking he can probably use their naivety for his escape!

ANYWAYS to skip ahead because I have JUST SEEN THE SHEER LENGTH OF THIS IM SOOOO SORRY I LOVE LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY CREATIONS IDK lore dump moment

So at one point, Urbanshade notices that reader is interacting with Sebastian, however, instead of like, stopping them, I imagine that Urbanshade instead saw an opportunity. Sebastian doesn’t talk to ANYONE so suddenly finding out that he’s talking to someone??? 

It was only much later that he actually warmed up to your presence, choosing to follow you around when you were stuck doing your boring paperwork. You were starting to regret applying here as they wanted to wait a really long time until you could actually do any hands-on work. However, Sebastian’s presence made the situation a lot more bearable, as he would sometimes read over your shoulder and mention things that you would outright forget to write down. Because of his seeming attachment to you, your higher-ups completely changed your temporary job of reading and copying down paperwork into instead… still do the same thing but also look over Sebastian’s behaviour. They would say how you were the only person that he got along with, which meant it was the opportune moment to find out more about him and fill his file even more as it was severely lacking apparently. And so started your Behavioural Scientist job with no hiccups whatsoever. Especially not after begging Urbanshade not to let you go after the internship ended, convincing them that you were the only person who managed to get even remotely close to Sebastian’s good graces. No issues at all... 

OH and at some point reader is given their own office and it’s because they had a normal desk like other people before but because Sebastian is.. big… he would push the desks all the time and he would apologize to the scientists but you can tell he wasn’t being genuine as the malice was obvious on him SCREAMING but after having TOO MANY complaints about Sebastian following reader around and reader insisting that they need him to follow because it’s their job, Urbanshade just gave them a temporal office (that became their permanent office for years to come)--

I think it’s there where Sebastian starts seeing reader as a “friend”, they never hurt him and quickly realise that reader was genuinely not evil like the scientists that experimented on him. While Urbanshade made reader the behavioural scientist, they started working with other subjects as well (as you guys know) and Sebastian started seeing reader in a much more positive light. 

Reader goes on vacation sometimes, brings a lot of trinkets and pictures of the outside world to Sebastian. I think he tries to keep a strong face when he gets some of those things, he misses the outside world. I like to think reader asked him once what was his favorite snack and he would mention something from Chile and reader would get it for him and that’s probably the first time that he does cry in front of them because of the whole emotion of having something that’s basically a comfort food after so long. It was like a taste of freedom. Something to look forward to and not give up to Urbanshade. And seeing as how reader didn’t look disappointed or in any negative emotion I think that’s when Sebastian just completely changed his perspective. The idea where now in his grand plan of escaping the Blacksite that he had been making the moment that Urbanshade stopped doing the extreme experiments and let him walk (slitter?) freely now would include reader. 

While he knows reader is there for the other subjects too, he also knows that they are mostly there for him counting as I imagine there is a lot of subjects that reader can’t understand (like the angler… or pandemonium…) and while Sebastian knows a lot of them thanks to working with reader so closely (him reading all these classified documents) that he weights if he would escape the Blacksite he would want to take reader with him. I think at first when they met he was like they might die but its a sacrifice for his escape (they are but another scientist), but now he’s like if they die I die (“I have failed.”).

BASICALLY I imagine their friendship that is very slowburn but in the end they become extremely loyal to each other, reader doesn’t know that they are part of his plan now. I mention it in A Human’s Touch but Sebastian has this hidden room where he keeps all these things and he probably has written (in a coded language) a whole plan of his escape + what he would do once he gets out of the Blacksite. At first it only included him but the longer he spent with reader the more he kept in mine their safety as they are the only friend he’s had for years and they are ATTACHED. 

Oh and a final note, Sebastian’s bracelets were given by reader, but i wanted to talk briefly on the obsidian one because I went with spirituality and symbolism as to why I took that material… obsidian bracelets mean protection, grounding and emotional healing… a lot of mental clearance and transforms negative energy to positive ones. I like to think that reader got it for him after learning more about him, because just as he wants them to be safe, they want him to be safe too. Their biggest fear is that Urbanshade would want to experiment harder again with him again and/or kill him. Sebastian shares the same fear.

OK I think I am... done... I'm so sorry AGAIN if something doesn't make sense... feel free to send an ask.... That goes for anyone ofc but yes... I'm crazy but if you got this far here's a quick doodle I did for your troubles dear reader

[princeanxious]

Hi! I was wondering about your Lost Guardian au from ages ago, do you think you’ll ever plan on updating it and if not, could someone else take up the fic?

So heres the thing. If someone wants to write a fic *inspired* by The Lost Guardian, i’m not gonna stop them, and i’d probably feel super honored so long as the inspiration was correctly credited!

As for ‘taking up the fic,’ the short answer is no.

I have active drafts and the rest of the story already planned out to its finish, notes, even a branch-off fic set post-story that will likely go up on my nsfw blog if i ever get around to editing it. The Lost Guardian hasn’t been abandoned, it’s simply on hiatus. (And yes, i recognize 3 almost 4 years so far is a really fucking long hiatus. The Chapter 9 draft doc was made in december of 2020, and last edited in July 2022)

I started writing that fic whilst still in highschool, a time where I was 17 and didnt have to worry yet about getting my license or maintaining a part time job, i had an over abundance of freetime even partially to my detriment, the fandom was booming and I had plenty of feedback, and this fic was (and still *is*) a story im proud of.

But i’m 22 now, working a full time job to pay rent and account for a number of minor ‘disabilities’(best word i have for them atm) that I cant ignore or push to the side nor treat poorly, from the lasting effects on my body of stunted growth to celiac/glutent intolerance to adhere to that directly determines how easily my body functions for the week, to dealing with glasses i cannot afford to break and taking care of teeth i cannot afford to fix, taking care of my mental health and using the free time i have to do what brings me the most joy at that time.

The sanders sides fandom has heavily quieted down with the season finale hiatus and I’d like to think I did pretty well for going six long years dedicated solely to that without cracking under the silence, because *I knew* when I caved to something else it’d be a long while before I had the drive to come back with any sort of resolution to my active works. Thats just how my hyper fixations work. I cannot focus on multiple at once, it’s too much to process simultaneously and takes away my enjoyment bc I tend to watch/consume things repeatedly to catch every little detail i missed. And it doesn’t help when one loses steam because their content barely breaks 100 notes(80% of which are likes, 15% are reblogs with the occasional comment, and 5% are self-reblogs) when back in the height of it all, a few thousand notes was pretty average interaction. This blog still has about 11.5k followers, almost all of which came from the height of the fandom period. So for now i’ve moved onto the FNAF DCA fandom, bc it is fresh and new to me.

I know you didn’t mean to poke the bear here, I get it, but like.. C’mon. Any other fic of mine likely wouldn’t have gotten the same reaction in full but, still. I’ve had to answer this question a handful of times over the years at the point, which might be why this response feels so charged, and i’m sorry.

I don’t mean to come off as snippy or rude, but it *is* kind of invasive to offer to finish one’s creative work when it’s taking too long and theres very little payback for it. I’ve got adhd, delayed satisfaction isn’t a thing I experience. Just guilt that it wasn’t finished in a way for me to post it in time before I broke and lost all motivation to share it.

In my head, TLG has been long finished and held the ending for years, theres just been no energy to put in the effort of finish writing it for others to read. I’m still trying to get my life together to change that, don’t get me wrong, but the American economy is literally in shambles so who knows how or even if i’ll manage that. Call me selfish for being content with only mentally having my creative story’s ending and a collection of rambles and notes to show for it, but at the end of the day, it’s still my story, and i dont feel comfortable with people trying to ‘take up the mantle’ to finish it, when they don’t know how it ends.

I’m glad you like it enough to want to, though, I really *really* am. I’m just sorry I haven’t been able to finish it for you all. And i just don’t know when that will be, I just know that I *want* to do so, however long it takes.

[taeiun]

TAEIUN UPDATE (05/07/24)

hello everyone!! im not sure how many of you still keep up with this blog and i am so sorry for being inactive for so long (a full month sheesh…) and for not posting anything for longer than that! i have a couple updates, some good some bad, and a few changes i want to make to this blog.

TL;DR: canceling the beomgyu smau + possible future redo, temporary archive of this blog, future works planned.

O1. from the lack of of updates and the low interactions ive gotten, i think you guys can already guess that the beomgyu smau i posted back in march was going to be terminated at some point. it’s not that ive lost full interest in the plot. im just unhappy woth the setup and also dont have things flushed out to where i think an smau would work as a format. i do hope to publish it again some time in the future but for now, that post will be taken down.

O2. again, based off my inactivity i dont think it’s much of a surprise for me to say im going to be temporarily archiving this blog. that doesnt mean im never coming back! its just that right now i dont know how long it’ll be before i get back into a consistent writing schedule again. think of it just as an extended hiatus; the main difference is that im calling it an archive in case i dont come back at all. ofc ill announce if im going for good but this is just in case.

O3. i dont think i’ll be gone for good (knock on wood) so while i stay kind of inactive, there a few things im changing up here.

declutterring: going to be deleting spam posts and tidying up my blog to make the viewing experience more pleasurable!! i have a second blog where i ramble and shit post so i dont need this one for it.

reposts of old works: i dont have the time as of now to be working on brand new shiny content, so i hope people dont mind me possibly reposting a couple of my fave older stuff from my previous blog.

O4. i am crafting new things! they just wont be out for a while. a few things on my mind are:

zb1 apocalypse au: i have standalone fics for all the members and i hope to get this done at least before calling it quits. taerae my boy…

a couple different possible supernatural!skz smau mini series: little bit on the fence with these ones bc im not fully into skz (despite saying i write for them lol) so im not sure how much passion i can put into this project. if not the mini series, then i’ll be working on a minho fic within that au instead!

i think that about sums up where this blog is going. in general ive been good. busy with school and idea of uni but good-ish. ive been enjoying life for itself and got closer with one of my irls which has been so nice :DD im also facing a bit of a writer’s slump bc of the mental switch from a heavy math and science academics semester to an only analytical and writing semester. honestly, i really do want to keep this blog around. its just hard when my interest in kpop as a whole has dwindled down so fast? like its crazy how quickly i kind of got over this phase ngl- but yeah! thats it for me <33

thanks for sticking to the end of this if you did! no hard feelings if you didnt. its funny i say that bc they wouldnt be able to see this if they didnt but oh well. that’s all from me for today!!

— ur fave, sol / jun.

[the-travelling-witch]

Dear miss Holly:

Not only am I in tears (I was I read the fic at 5am when I woke up and I screamed, u don’t understand how happy I got) over seeing Modern Scara come back and make an appearance on your page again, even with my I mean our (❄️) constant rambles and thoughts about how much we adore Scara! It’s been years you should have expected us to freak out

But I’m here to give my little notes and things that I wrote down while reading, most are a bunch of “WODOEODOEOEDOD” however here’s some that u can probably translate and my personal favorite parts of the fic that made me remember why Im so attached to this purple haired brat

Bringing up the detail that Scara has face piercings again always makes me giggle AND Kissing Scaras electro tattoo on the back of his neck, while he makes us food because he knows we’ve had a long week was just so sweet, especially considering it’s a sensitive spot he doesn’t like shown unless he’s comfortable with someone (you and venti as far as I know)

I Wrote that ask last year about Scara cuddling us and cooking for us before saying “I love u” as we fell asleep SO SEEING THAT U WROTE THIS FIC WITHOUT EVEN SEEING THAT BY ACCIDENT MAKES ME SOB U HAVE NO IDEA

I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY BUT IM GOING TO RE READ THE FIC AGAIN. AGAIN FIRST

-✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

tbh i do always expect a very enthusiastic reply, but i still wasn’t prepared for how much it would be, especially since it’s just a basic drabble; i don’t think people would react like that if i did sth crazy like publish a book ^^;

every time someone tells me they took notes while reading it’s such a cool thing to hear!! seeing people pick out their favourite parts or describing how my writing made them feel, it makes my day. like we live in a world where we consume media very quickly, i personally love sitting down and really letting a piece sink in and then letting it replay again while i really think about it (this sounds so pretentious but i annotated a book for my friend once and it was the most fun experience)

ofc, i don’t expect that at all and i totally under that a keysmash sometimes just sums up someone’s feelings way better that a word ever could jshshs silly comments have their place for sure, nobody questions that

yeah ngl, still think i cooked with the dermal piercings + nose piercing combo as well as with aether’s belly button piercing (and heizou’s nipple piercings but the world isn’t ready for that yet)

and yes you’re correct, only his partner and venti are allowed to touch the nape of his neck, and even that took time and patience. this reminded me how much i love my little codependency duo (affectionate), i was so right for putting them in the same flat, it’s beautiful chaos at its finest <3

well it’s not like i never saw the ask, i definitely did when i first got it and filled it away with the dozens of other scara/modern au asks and a little “yes i’ll get to that in a sec” and suddenly it’s been a year… granted it was a busy year for me, but c’mon holly

anyhow, i’m glad you enjoyed, you have definitely made it known i assure you ^^;

[igbylicious]

welp your girl got too rambly to fit in the replies again XD honestly, I just can't help it. You're always so nice, I feel like I got a penpal that I can just share my excitement with!!

NEW PROJECTS YOU SAY (✧ ∇ ✧). Duuude I legitimately could just read your grocery list and love it atp. ahh I'm so conflicted now, and I feel extremely greedy T_T. Honesly, you just made such an inviting little world, and even though it's not fantastical, it's still so alluring that even the little mentions of the other members get me wondering about what they're doing and how they connect to our trio, like the tea spilling sessions between woo and hwa must be so much fun plssss. I wonder where jongsang fit there too and if yunho is ever getting over his little dry spell. idk just little thoughts like that.

Of course I'd take the time! You take the time to write and post them after all!! for free too????? I just really admire what you do a lot, and you do it so so well bless you.

Again, thank you for your kind words. I'm glad my rambling can cheer you up icb im being perceived like that (⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄) and I wish you an abundance of spoons ^^

aww hehe you know i love it when you get rambly!!! your excitement is contagious! (´ ω `♡)

oh YES new projects :3 some scifi, a zombie au, more vampire stuff, an assortment of shorter smutty scenarios… there’s a lot waiting in the back! i work on the shorter ideas whenever i need a break from whiway, but i really try to keep the longfic benched until it’s done ^^;;

OHHH i rambled abt the other members somewhere, let me dig that up!

Yeosang and Wooyoung are childhood friends in this fic hehe~ Yeosang moved into Woo’s neighbourhood when they were like 6y old and when this shy quiet boy joined Wooyoung’s class, lil Woo was like “i got this, i’m gonna take care of this dude 👍” and instantly adopted Yeosang lol ♡

Jongho and San are big karaoke buddies! Jongho and Wooyoung were actually drinking buddies first, and now Wooyoung ‘complains’ they never have a quiet drink anymore, there always has to be singing too lol (he secretly loves it tho hehe)

whispers Mingi is one of the subs that San and Yunho tag-teamed ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

POOR YUNHO RIP but yes i assure you he lives a very fulfilled life despite everything ♡(>ᴗ•) (i love that you remember that asdkjadskjadjk)

asdkjadsjkdsa ahhhh thankyou pls, that is such a lovely mindset (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ it’s why i always try to comment on fics too :’3

I’LL TAKE ALL THE SPOONS I CAN GET ASKJDASKJASDSK i feel a bit more stable mental health-wise atm (hence why i popped up on tumblr again lol) but oof some more spoons and a few less forks are very very welcome!!! σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡

[tickly-trashcan]

hello everyone!! still… away LOL but ive been doing a bit of writing in my downtime hehe. i started working on a little backburner project and was wondering… would anyone be willing to help beta read for me?? ive had a few people beta read my fics before, but i always feel bad asking people out of the blue haha so i feel like if i threw it out there more generally then it’d be easier!! if you’re interested i’ll put a little bit of info below the cut! :D

Beta reading is essentially proofreading a fic! A beta reader is more casual than like… an editor! beta readers can check for grammar mistakes and such but its mostly just for if the fic sounds good or not haha at least thats how I understand it. If anyone’s up for beta reading i’m not expecting like… super serious edits with every sentence LOL just maybe a few notes~

The fic i’ve been starting a little bit on is… kind of loose lol there’s not too much plot it’s mostly just delving into some characters. It’s a modern AU ninjago fic (predictable, i know) and is essentially a slice of life fic where the main five all live in an apartment and go about life. Later on, they end up deciding to go on a road trip across Ninjago and thats where a lot of the character exploration comes in! I’m not sure if there’s going to be any shippy stuff in it tbh, mostly found family vibes but that could change depending on how it turns out!

It’s probably going to be a little boring since its so self indulgent but if anyone would be interested in beta reading (even just giving it a skim and saying whether its good or bad LOL) please DM me!! i’m currently working on standard notes since I dont have great access with mobile google docs, but as soon as I’m able I’ll send what I have so far your way! I currently have about… half of chapter 1 done, and so far my outline has about 3 chapters planned, its at about 1.3k so far! I’m expecting it to be a shorter multichapter fic, but if i end up starting to plan more than 10 chapters i will let yall know!! also note if you want to volunteer to beta read you dont have to commit to the whole fic LOL i am a chronic overwriter and love to include stuff that probably doesnt need to be there so it could easily get longer than expected quickly!! okay now ive rambled way too long hehe but if you’re interested pretty please dm me!!! :DDD thank you for reading all of this if you did fbhkdfsnjskd treat yourself to a cookie!

(note i can probably copy paste what i have into a google doc if anyone would like to read like… immediately LOL but it’ll probably be easier to just upload when i get back and when i have a bit more done i’m kind of jumping the gun a bit with asking for a beta reader now hehe im just excited. I should be back on april 8th but i’ll be severely tired and jetlagged so realistically i can probably get a good quality document by april 9th!! just a quick heads up lolol)

[blurbry]

Rambles

Rambling Day 1:    AO3 WARNING!!!! LONG POST AHEAD!            FIRST BULLET POINT!: I have a Pseud now. For when I have the feeling or need to write *EHEM* fics. However I Most likely won’t go into too much detail as said things actually make me flushed sometimes.(While I’m Not repulsed or uncomfortable talking about it or writing about it, I just thought I’d touch on the fact that I’m still experimenting with sexuality and am not too sure if I’m actually asexual or not.) A small warning, It may contain oc x character shippings, not just head-cannoned shippings.  I will most likely not post them Publicly as most of them would be physically for me to reread and improve my writing skills, rather than to cause discourse with one who may be Uncomfortably settled with such a subject.  Even if I do Post them Publicly on tumblr, They’ll be tagged Respectively and placed on a Main blog and art blog separate blog. still so the tag can be blocked and ignored. Tumblr added nsfw Content filters for the reasons sole for you to be able to browse your content without being hit in the face with a discomforting subject.   SECOND BULLET POINT!: I’m rewriting all my old fics.  Those of you who followed my AO3, whether you ended up there through lost in dysphoria, or perhaps you were there from my very first fic Broken Glass Shattered Spirits, You’ll notice they’ve all been deleted (except for the ones I’m particularly proud of.) This is because I’m freshly applying a new coat of paint!!  Rather than a baby tiny 1000 word fic, There will be more words, more filler text to make it more interesting. More Development in situations rather than a Rushed feeling of Needing to get this out. While doin so will take me a few months, due to having the most ADHD brain in my family, I assure you when a project has been begun it hasn’t been forgotten, it’s just been pressed aside for a later date. All I ask is Im not rushed or demanded to write faster, because that’s what leads to my sloppy 1000 word writing. Schedule for writings:    Begin Lost Family Au Writing and Master Explanation. Lost Family: An Au I Made which is a Link Separate Au. All the links have tragic Life stories about Siblings or parents or how their lifestyles effect them, Leading up to the events of the Four swords being pulled, and the four meeting each other. IN this AU, the swords are four elemental blades locked deep within Temple systems, that each of the four are called to pull when the time is right.  Begin Raptured Hyrule: Raptured Hyrule is another AU I began working on in 2021 with my friends, and finally decided to publicize in 2022. This AU is if darkness was never fended, and in a way, if Zelda was corrupted by dark cloud rather than killed. It’s very angsty........     Rewrite dancing in the starlight(bluexErune) so its less short and develops more to the relationships. Dancing Scene will still apply.     Rewrite Bluebird(Blue x Vio) Blue at war, Vio is a damsel in distress waiting for him to come home, only having letters and little embroideries and crochet projects to litter the house with.     Rewrite Broken Glass Shattered spirit.(Vidow) Vio is ignoring Shadow for deep studies, Shadow goes off to find something interesting to do and has a run in with a few threatening old friends. Rewrite Angels Flying High, Originally this fic was a RedxShadow Pure angst where Red Died, and Shadow destroyed the mirror a second time just so he could get that final ounce of happiness with him. However, I’m going to change its full aspect and Make it Angel!Red Au. It will still be Shadow x Red. Rewrite Sunsets and Lavender tea (Blue x Shadow) Poor Blue is suffering nightmarish trauma from being frozen alive and Shadow is there to help *cool~* his spirits (I’ll go back in the bad berry corner again) Rewrite Darkness Within: Green/Red Corruptive AU. At a last ditch effort to save the dying light that Red brought to the world, Green performs a dangerous and irrational ritual which results in Red becoming a creature of darkness. At first Red is weary, and its oh so torturous trying to tango with such a creature when He can only come out during the hours that one needs to sleep, but its so worth it when people suddenly become less afraid of Shadow because of Red’s doings. (Look lorulians can be nice people too, don’t fight me ) Rewrite: Everything is okay (Vidow Angst) Vio sustains injuries on the battle field by a mob of Moblins, Blue took his eyes of his back for only a second, only to turn and watch him be run through with a lizzal spear. Blue has a panic attack, He promised Shadow he’d make sure vio came home unharmed.. Vio almost dies, but miraculously was saved by a fairy and a very, Very upset travelling shadow.  These will not be redone in the exact ordering of this post.    

[forsakenmissives]

I know nothing about football but I'd still like to hear about the au :3

see bc i complain and then i don't even know where to start LOL

ok so ig i'll start with the title From the Sidelines and a little description i have, to pique interest heh

Arthur is Camelot FC's star striker and captain. Merlin is the kitman. Life is hardly ever fair.

anyway . i suppose that's. a little misleading. that being said i think this grew into something waaaaay larger than i originally planned @.@ like it was supposed to be a fun little addition to the surprisingly small amt of footballer arthur fics we have but now this fic has double daddy issues (balinor my beloved...), coming out, sports injuries, shitty coaches (aredick die by my sword) and never making the national team. HUH??? i just wanted merthur to fuck on the pitch... (joke) (just in time for fuck him on the field friday)

also there's side stories. like one is when the players get handcuffed tgt for 24hrs but they've got an uneven amt for it and merlin gets roped in

and then there's the valentine's day arwen special that i somehow accidentally made into a statement about arthur's attitude toward his sexuality?? and feelings for merlin??? through his anxiety about his date with gwen????

“All good?” Merlin asks. “Never better,” Arthur replies, then pivots and walks directly into his closet. He stares at his barren shoe rack before he feels hands on his shoulders, and Merlin is turning him around and guiding him back out. “Wrong way,” he hears him say. “Right.” This time, Arthur marches out his room then down the hall to the front door. “I’ll be back.”

i'm allowed to give this info bc i don't know if i'll ever actually post the extras. i dont' even know when i'm gonna finish the main story sjkdfhgjkf

oh yeah another side story takes place in 2007 (that might be the title for it idk) and it's about uther buying camelot fc for arthur's tenth birthday LOL dont question the legaltiy of arthur playing for his father's club. i dont know and i dont care. this is fiction SIMILARLY dont say shit abt arthur being a striker and captain. it's happened before. it's literally fine. dont even worry about it

there's like. ik i rly only talked about the side stories but u have to realize just how much has already gone into this fic and i wouldn't even say i'm halfway done. i don't think i've written out a single match which is also funny bc i've been keeping up with the prem and actually think i can do it now. i just keep dragging my feet abt it lol

i think the hardest part for me is when im gonna have to seriously injure arthur. i didnt want to but i think it's an important way for his and merlin's relationship to progress and also would explain merlin's attitude toward him in january. its less abt injuring him and more abt him having to sit out of games not for like. lineup stats/compatibility reasons

oh my god typing this all out made me realize we haven't met like. half of the guys on the team yet. i was sitting here like "i need to rewatch eps with all the knights bc i dont trust myself to write percy and elyan accurately" but now i just realized i dont even know if mordred is on the like. squad yet or if he's still with the u18s (after a brief check with my info page he is. i'm gonna be sick)

like i said there is a LOT of info on this . sorry this was so long i just needed to ramble a bit and it also made me realize some info i still need to include so yayyy :3 thank you nonny if u have anything u wanna know in specific like fr anything PLEASE ask. i'd love it so much if u asked. u saved my life <3

[x-neurotoxin-x]

↻

dead things but with spinnerdabi

↻ pick a fic and a different ship and I’ll tell you how I’d rewrite it

Dead Things is a REALLY old one. Oof. Back before the Touya reveal. Back when I wrote fanon dabihawks. But this ask really, really got me thinking. Like, hold on for a minute- I'd actually probably like that fic concept 200% more if it were spinnerdabi (id like a lot of fic concepts 200% more if they were spinnerdabi this ship is so slept on)

So like to summarize Dead Things, it's a VERY not canon compliant fic where Touya and Keigo met as kids/teens and bonded through their traumatic upbringings while also experimenting with one another sexually/romantically (mostly bc Touya was hypersexual due to being groomed and sexually abused by Enji) up until Touya's disappearance. Then as adults in current day they're engaging in a casual sexual relationship, neither of them aware they knew each other as kids bc Keigo doesn't recognize Dabi as Touya and Dabi has amnesia so he doesn't remember being Touya, let alone remember Keigo. Dabi starts having flashbacks and bits and pieces of his past, then Hawks realizes who he is and they kinda spiral into this whole mess of a relationship. It's very dead dove, heavy angst, mild hurt/comfort with themes of folklore and supernatural elements.

Rewriting it as Spinnerdabi though, I'd:

Childhood friends aspect is a little difficult, but I'd probably keep the same meeting as in Dead Things. Ignore the location differences and have them meet at a lake. Works with canon stuff if it's a lake near the peak where Touya trains. Works with hcs bc one of my homies has a hc that Shuichi tried to off himself by drowning himself in a lake. So, maybe that's how they meet, Touya goes there to cool down after training himself and comes across Shuichi trying to off himself and their friendship starts there.

I can do a lot with Shuichi's backstory bc he canonly doesn't got much of a backstory, so like. Medical trauma. Quirkism. Family abuse. Etc. I know i went the quirkism route with Keigo but it fits way better with Shuichi bc he has a far more complicated and obvious mutation.

Obv take out the hero bs, and the endeavor bootlicking bs with Hawks. Replace it with Spinner just being in the League, obv. The hero stuff worked for Hawks finding out stuff about Touya/Dabi current time, but I could have Spinner just be a tech wizz, get super curious, and hack into confidential HPSC data base. That's sexy.

Could keep a lot of the other themes tho- Dabi having amnesia or being a system 👀, Shuichi and Touya having a plan to run away together that gets foiled when Touya disappears/dies, the codependent fuckery of their relationship both in the past and in the present (think Synchronize type vibes, hell yeah), im sure i could shoe horn in other fun dynamics and ideas

Honestly just a childhood friends + amnesia spinnerdabi au would be really fun and something that I'd be into writing one day anyways so imma keep this kinda idea on the back burner. Ask/Ramble to me about it though, like, I'm liking this.

[existingonthisplane]

A master post of my projects (w/ links to the ones that have been started c:)

On going:

The I Love You Series. It’s also on going and is a comic I’m writing about Mike coming to terms with his very obvious feelings for Will. It’s accompanied by a fic but it’s all pretty slow to update since it’s not my main priority. Still it’s fully outlined so I’m planning on finishing it. (Also sorry in advance for inconsistent drawings, I’m in practice of drawing consistent faces so-) I post this on my main for the most part

I Don’t Think I’m Faking Anymore (fake dating au) This is a fic im writing and what I’ll be updating the most. It won’t be a super long fic (I think) so I want to finish it before I throw myself into my other projects. It’s been on a bit of a break after some family stuff (and eventually the holidays) but I’ll be back to it now that everything’s over.

Yet to be started/in progress/not posted:

Like Sun and Moon (byler dnd au and my biggest project.) this is a WIP and the only real proof of it existing other than my many pages on google docs are the posts on here c: they’re a bit outdated now since I’ve done a lot of revising but you’re still welcome to go search my main account (@existingonanotherplane)for it

Fake dating au pt 2??

Karen Wheeler is a lot of things but a loser isn’t one of them. So when an extended family member calls her bragging about her kids many achievements and how they’re bringing them along to a big family event, can you really blame her for trying to one up them? Aka, Karen tells the wheeler family a bunch of lies including one that so happens to be about her “super successful son dating his roommate and equally as successful best friend”

Byler Band Au (not the usual kind though) Mike is a sax player, Will plays trombone. They attempt to find each other through music. (It makes more since if I were to actually explain it lmbo but I’m trying not to ramble)

WillEl daycare au (more like youth center but they run it out of their house so-) it’s pretty self explanatory but The wonder-twins take care of kids after school and one of those kids happen to be one Holly Wheeler. Maybe Will is closer to getting a boyfriend than he thought.

Will Byers the interior designer attempts to design the Wheeler household. Also straightforward. Will is a popular interior designer and Karen is in need of something fresh in their home. They head out on a vacation and leave Mike to watch over the progress. He wasn’t expecting the guy to end up being his type. (This one honestly has a low chance of being written but I think the concept is silly so if anyone wants to give it a shot then go for it)

Literally send me asks on any of these or just anything in general. I want to talk about them so bad

Edit:

Oh my gosh! A linktree?? Who could’ve guessed :0

[rottencoreflesh101]

alex i hope u know i get so hyped when i see you posted fmasdkjgndsj i CANT get enough of ur au !! or GEN or SANEMI (u already know that i go FERAL)

that fic u wrote was simply 🥺 i adore it im in love with the concept and although i rambled in my last reblog i just wanted to tell u personally ansfdkjgnasdj. keep up the good work bb !!<333

AAAHH CHERRY THANK YOU SO MUCH I LITERALLY CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT, you are so sweet aahhh. I’m also so glad ppl find my au and my kny sketches enjoyable, motivates me to make more.

Also thank you, its my first fic in a few years, not very good at writing but hopefully I can be more skilled through practice. I was very anxious lol, found it very cringe but I’ll rewrite in the future pfft but again, thank you so much Cherry, ya make me very happy ong 💖🎉 like im so glad I could finally find ppl that simp for fictional characters like I do and babble all about em! 😭

[ceruleanskiesss]

It feels so good when you fixate on something and find that one person you can drag into that same chokehold with cause I was making an au of an oc in Marvel, and my friend decided to add hers too and send me the things she was writing, and cut to two days later and I have 12 pages written a ton of ideas and I have so many more ideas and we just rambled to each other completely spur of the moment for 4 solid hours straight and it feet like no time at all passed and AGSKAMDMCLSMSNDZMSMDNDJ

Sorry sorry sorry but anyways Im just really excited cause while like, I share my writing with my friends and I share my art, and my core friend group literally exists because we’ve all rped our characters together for like 6 years, but I haven’t felt this genuinely engaged an exited for my ideas since like god I think since my undertale era back when it was at its height.

Like yk when you have a lot of friends and a lot of ideas and a lot of interests, and it’s great bouncing around n shit, but then you find that one combination that just makes your brain and everything spark up and get hyped like crazy? Cause oh my god someone’s interested in my writing and she’s writing her stuff for it and we can just talk about ideas and head canons and stuff and that’s just there

Alsjajjsjebfjsjsjgjsnfmskdksksdkal imma go to bed gn

OH YEAH HOLD ON I HAD A STUCKY FIC IDEA

I haven’t decided if I’ll write it yet cos like Im writing something else rn and honestly I just like writing ocs more than real fanfic, and I’m sure it probably exists already but I wanted to post it here too lmfao

[trashydez]

hi!! im so glad you’re liking my au!! and you’d be correct about the manfred pushing law onto him blablabla ‘maybe if i just do what he wants he’ll stop being a pos to me and fran’ blablabla. (in a way, it did work. but at what cost). as a result, he became a prosecutor (and boy, can you imagine how miles felt about that when he found out. poor guy was reeling, especially after watching a recording of phoenix’s debut trial (state v. fawles) and what happened in said trial)

also, about the music thing, i figured manfred would allow phoenix to play music/use the music room in the von karma estate, but not to play in front of people for some reason (he is a caged songbird, confines covered by a cloth, hidden from the world, only existing to sing for the glee of its captor). and manfred would use his instruments (particularly his violin, that had been gifted to him by (redacted redacted spoilers spoilers LMAO)) as leverage, threatening to destroy/take away his one source of joy/connection to his old life (when phoenix would screw up, he’d burn some of his sheet music or lock the room for days. and yes, this form of punishment onto him continues into his adult life :>)

and yea! fran is in a constant state of “JUST WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME” with phoenix and manfred and it causes alot of weird dissonance in her personality- like shes whip crazy and perfection obsessed one second, then shes cracking a pun in court so cosmically stupid that there was no way she’d came up with it herself

about kristoph! i figured since the von karmas and the gavins are both german, and both families are in the law field (altho kris becomes a defense attorney, i figure since klav became a prosecutor, their family likely is just made up of people in law), what if those two met wayy earlier, in whatever rich kid private academy mvk and the gavin parents sent them to? in every universe, kristoph gavin is unexplainably pulled to, like a butterfly to a forest fire, the enigma that is phoenix wright, so what if they were put into the same playing field earlier?

anyway im sorry for rambling, i really wish i could work on this au more and actually write a fic (or multiple) of it, but my exam for my,, i think the equivalent to it is a gcse, im not sure— my that exam is around the corner and ill be really busy until like, february next year. but i wont be abandoning this au! (obviously, i just looked away from my stack of mock papers to type this all out). im really really glad you enjoy this au, i’ll be back in full swing once these exams are finally over!! for now, i actually am nearly done with some doodles of turnabout tragedy franzy, so stay tuned!

Phoenix and Franziska as siblings is an interesting dynamic I need to seeeee

GOD you do not know how much i think of these two as siblings, thank you for being my excuse to talk about them!!

i think if phoenix were frans brother instead of edgeworth, he’d be alot more doting of her- look at how he is with his daughter, afterall. he moves into the von karma household when hes like 9 and she’s 2 years old. she was a Baby. a Baby who can talk in full sentences for some reason, but a baby nonetheless.

and he is So doting and caring, raising her in contrast to how von karma was raising her. we see that despite how franziska von karma she is even as a child in the anime, she is sweet and worried about miles’ wellbeing, so ive no doubt itd extend to phoenix if he and miles swapped places.

except, obviously mvk has some issues with whimsy and joy because, well he’s von karma. so he likely doesnt approve and actively berates phoenix for caring for fran, saying its weakness and she’ll grow up to be useless and a dishonour blabla. it gets fran in trouble too though, so i think as time goes on phoenix would start to act less openly affectionate and more cold, but still caring, despite showing it in his own,, convoluted way. as time goes on too, i think the constant beratement from mvk, the pressure of the von karma name and other things i cant say here lest it be spoilers to my own au starts to wear at phoenix’s wellbeing, and it takes a toll on his relationship with franziska as fran tries in all her eight year old might to bring back the boy who’d always smile at her.

anyway i think unlike how miles and fran are like a prince and princess and mvk is the king, i think phoenix and fran would have a princess and her first knight kind of relationship, to put their dynamic simply

[farfromtommy]

seb being a stepdad to chris' kids or vice versa!

not my gif

a/n: okay this is literally one of the best ideas ever and im so in love with this fic. i think this takes the cake for my favorite fic i’ve written!! this is mildly edited so pls be kind. im so proud of it and hope you guys love it <3

please reblog if you enjoyed reading and and feel free to leave any comments!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of sex, brief mention of medical procedure(s), there might be some language i dont remember

word count: 4,400

masterlist

social media au masterlist

taglist 

~~~

Chris has been your best friend since elementary school and all through middle and high school. Everyone knew how close you were to him and how deeply you loved each other. It was never in a romantic sort of way, though. Nobody really understood the relationship you had with him, they just shrugged their shoulders and minded their business.

When Chris told you he wanted to move to New York to follow his dream of being an actor, he asked you to go with him. You shared his love for theatre and the arts and always wanted to see if you could make it as a big-time Hollywood actress. You packed all your things into your tiny car and made your way to New York with your best friend.

You spent your 28th birthday sitting on Chris’s couch with a bottle of tequila and a broken heart. Your boyfriend of 3 years broke up with you on the grounds of you being “such a drag” and “not someone he wants to settle down with any more”. You had planned a life with him. He talked about marrying you and having kids with you just weeks prior. And he had just thrown it all away.

Having gone through almost half of the bottle of tequila already, Chris took the bottle from you and just looked at you with sad eyes. He ran his hand through your hair as you buried your face in your pillow and just cried. You pulled yourself together after a while and willed yourself to sit up and look Chris in the eyes.

“I know I’m kinda drunk right now but Chris, listen to me. Can we make a pact? When we’re both 30 and if we’re both still single and loveless. Let’s have a baby. We don’t have to like… y’know… do it or anything. We can do it through insemination or in a petri dish or however they do it. I’m just- I want to settle down and have kids but I don’t think I’ll ever trust anyone else.” You rambled, gesturing wildly with your hands. Chris suppressed a laugh and looked at you like you were crazy. You just looked at him questioningly until he realized this was not the alcohol talking.

“Are you serious? Like, me and you? Having a baby? Seriously?” He pulled himself off the floor and sat on the coffee table in front of you.

“I’m so serious. You can say no, Chris. This is me asking you what you think. I always said that if I don’t have a husband or have been with someone long enough to have a child with them, that I would go to a sperm bank and do it like that. You know how badly I want kids, and I know you want them too.” You moved to the edge of the couch to move closer to him. He stood up and grabbed your hand to help you up. He dragged you towards the kitchen and sat you down at the table, telling you to wait there while he grabbed something. He came back a few moments later with a notebook and a pen.

“Alright, let’s figure this out. We’re going to ask each other questions about this and write down the answers. Any conditions we have we’ll write down, if we can’t agree on them we don’t do it. I know you’re not super sober right now so we can do this now and talk about it again tomorrow.” He wrote ‘Y/L/N - Evans Baby’ along the top. You smiled a bit to yourself and waited for him to talk.  

“I don’t want to be just the sperm donor, I want to be involved in everything. From the ultrasound appointments to picking preschools. I also want to be in the room when you’re in labor.” He wrote it down as he was talking and looked up at you. You nodded with a big smile on your face.

“I would want you as involved as possible. We would be co-parenting this hypothetical child. My turn. To keep this from getting messy, we should do it through a clinic. Me in stirrups and your swimmers in a turkey baster. Sex can make things complicated and weird, I don’t want to risk something going wrong between us and then there be a child involved. Insemination isn’t as effective but we can always keep trying if it doesn’t work.” You pulled the notebook towards you and wrote down your condition.

That went on for the rest of the night. You and Chris take turns asking questions about your hypothetical baby. You had filled up pages and pages of notes about what you both want, from how you would decide to tell your families to living arrangements to if you’d circumcise or not if it was a boy.

A little more than 2 years later you and Chris found yourselves at the dining room table of his Boston home again. The notebook you had filled just a few years back right in front of you, along with 5 pregnancy tests. They were face down on the table as you anxiously waited for the timer to go off.

“Alright, Chris. This is it. It’s been 5 minutes, we can flip them over.” You released a shaky breath and stared at the tests right in front of you. Chris grabbed your hand and laced your fingers together. You looked at each other before reaching out to flip over the individual tests. Seeing all 5 of the tests with 2 solid pink lines knocked all the air out of your lungs.

“Oh my god. They’re all positive! Oh my god, Chris!! We’re going to have a baby!” You both jumped out of your seats and jumped around the kitchen before hugging each other and crying. He kept thanking you and kissing the top of your head while you sobbed into his chest, soaking his shirt. There were lots of tears over the next few weeks from you both after confirming your pregnancy with your midwife.

8 or so months later Penelope Elizabeth Evans-Y/L/N made her way into the world and the arms of her parents. The world seemed to stop when you heard the cries of your daughter for the first time. You could’ve sworn Chris stopped breathing the second he laid eyes on her when she was placed on your bare chest. He didn’t even care that she was covered in blood and other bodily fluids, he swore that she was the most beautiful human being to ever exist.

He took a lot of time off from filming and working to take care of you both. Once you found out you were pregnant, you stopped acting for the most part. You knew that you wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, at least until she was old enough to go to school, and maybe then you’d go back to smaller roles that kept you close to home.

Chris had a hard time leaving you and Penny once it was time to go back to work. He held her close to his chest and cried at the thought of leaving her when she’s still so little. Seeing the extreme separation anxiety he was already having, you offered to go with him to set and find an apartment or house to rent for the duration of the shoot. This ended up being the greatest thing you could have come up with. Every single project that took him away from Boston, you and Penny were right there next to him. You and Penny followed him to what seemed like every corner of the Earth.

The weeks leading up to shooting The Winter Soldier were the most exciting for Chris. He had been training for months to get into shape and was really excited to have you and Penny on set with him. He had also been talking nonstop about working with Sebastian and Anthony again.

One night Chris came home with Sebastian and Anthony trailing behind him. Penny had gone down for the night and you were nursing a glass of wine on the recliner, watching whatever you could find on TV.

“Hey, Y/N. I should've called ahead, I’m sorry. We’re just going to have some beers while we watch the game.” He walked in and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. You moved the blankets off your lap and stood up to greet Anthony and Sebastian.

“I don’t think you ever got a chance to meet these guys before. Y/N this is Anthony and Sebastian, guys this is Y/N.” Chris introduced you and you moved forward to give them both hugs.

“Sorry for barging in on you unannounced, we would’ve made sure this idiot called you before to make sure it was all good,” Anthony said, taking the beer Chris handed him.

“Oh please, don’t worry about it. He used to do it all the time when we lived in New York. Sorry, the place is a bit of a mess. Didn’t get a chance to clean today, I’ve had my hands full, especially with this one” You gestured a thumb to Chris and he sent you a playful glare in return.

You offered to put together some snacks for the game, knowing very well Chris couldn’t handle his alcohol without some sort of food in his system. Anthony and Sebastian offered to help while Chris snuck off to go see Penny.

“How long have you and Chris been together?” Sebastian made some small talk while looking for serving bowls in your kitchen. Anthony leaned against the counter and continued to sip on his beer.

“Oh, we’re not together. We’ve been friends since we were kids and we actually are just uh...” You chuckled nervously, not knowing what to say to his friends. Chris walked into the kitchen with Penny in his arms at that moment. Her head tucked into his neck, hands gripping at the fabric of his shirt and his arms under her butt.

“We’re raising our daughter together. They go with me wherever I go so I don’t miss anything and so Y/N doesn’t raise Penelope by herself. We’re co-parenting in the same house.” He said, looking at the tired toddler in his arms. Sebastian and Anthony both sputtered on their beers at the same time, not believing what they were seeing.

There was no denying that she was a product of you and Chris. Even with her sleepy eyes, they could see the bright blue color that matched the man carrying her. They saw the swoop of your nose and the color of your hair. They stood there just taking it all in.

“I had a bit of a crisis when I turned 28 after my long term boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere. It was one of those ‘if we’re 30 and aren’t married’ sort of things. We turned 30 and were both still single, so we had a baby.” You shrugged, looking over at your girl.

“And it works, being parents without being together but still living together?” Anthony asked, gesturing towards the two of you.

“We had everything figured out before she got pregnant. We had conditions that we both had to agree on before we even got serious about it. We were both very adamant about not doing it the old fashioned way so things didn’t get messy. It took some time to figure out the… terms and conditions I guess.” Chris laughed a little bit. Anthony and Seb nodded in understanding and kept looking at Penny.

“I’m happy for you, man. Seems like you both are really happy. How old is she?” Anthony walked into her line of sight and waved his fingers a bit, trying to get her attention.

“She turned one a couple of months ago.” You said and watched Penny pick her head up and look at Seb and Anthony, inspecting them a bit. Her big blue eyes landed on Sebastian and she stared him down before he gave her a small smile and waved at her. She was a little shy around new people and would usually bury her face in the neck of whoever was holding her.

To your surprise, she leaned away from Chris and moved her hands out to Sebastian. Everyone’s eyes widened as she whined a little bit when he didn’t reach out to grab her. Chris moved closer and told him it was okay and let Penny make herself comfortable in his arms. She buried herself into his neck much like she does with you and Chris, her tiny fists clutching his shirt. Her eyes shut immediately and let herself fall asleep in his arms.

The next few months went on more pleasantly than expected. Chris often had late-night shoots and training, leaving you with Penny most of the day. Anytime he knew he would be home late, he’d send Seb over with dinner or just an extra set of hands to help you with Penny. She knew you were her mama and Chris was her dada, then one day she had her Seba. Anytime you opened the door to let him in with her on your hip, she immediately squealed and started to chant ‘Seba! Seba!’ and didn’t stop until he was holding her.

Sebastian had brought up the idea of taking you to dinner one night to Chris. Even though you were a single adult who could make decisions on your own, he didn’t want to disrespect Chris at all. Chris never saw you as anything more than his best friend, it had always been like that. He was ecstatic when Sebastian brought up the idea of asking you out.

“I’m so serious, Seb. I think it’s a great idea. She talks about you a lot and really loves being around you. She’s going to say yes, I promise. Y/N hasn’t dated since we had Penny, mostly because she’s scared of what someone would think about her living with her childhood best friend who happens to be the father of her child.” Chris told him honestly. You weren’t interested in dating at all since having Penny. Mostly because being a mom was your first and only priority.

Sebastian let out the breath he was holding and ran his fingers through his hair, all of a sudden nervous about asking you to dinner. Chris clapped a hand around his shoulder and gave him a quick pep talk before sending him on his way.

The 2 years between wrapping Winter Soldier and starting Civil War had been interesting, to say the least. Everything Chris did kept him in the states for the most part. You and Penny were still trailing along with him, always loving the things you got to experience as a family.

Sebastian had found his place right in your crazy life. You had been unofficially together after wrapping Winter Soldier. He went off to do his next project and you and Chris spent some time in Boston with your families. You texted him most of the day, and he called at night to talk for a few hours before you went to sleep. He always said goodnight to Penny and she blew her Seba kisses through the phone.

He flew to Boston a bunch of times to see you, even if it was only for a few hours. You flew to wherever he was for a few days at a time, most of the time with Penny. Chris somehow managed to get you on the plane by yourself a few times and promised he would FaceTime every single night and would have hourly pictures sent.

On one of your first weekend trips out to see him, he refused to let you leave without making it official with you. He had you in tears at the end of his ‘I can’t spend another second without calling you my girlfriend’ speech. When he proposed to you he had said that the only thing better than the girlfriend speech was the one he was about to give. His ‘I can’t spend another second without calling you my wife’ speech knocked that one out of the water.

Neither of you wanted to make a big fuss about a wedding. You weren’t interested in the big white dress and the stressful bridesmaids and the whole cliche wedding things. Sebastian suggested getting eloped somewhere quiet with a handful of the most important people in your life. Chris’s mom, Lisa, had offered to hold the ceremony in her backyard. Knowing very well how spacious and beautiful it was, you and Seb graciously accepted her offer.

You kept your dress simple yet elegant, a beautiful white lace dress that ended mid-thigh, and complimented your body so perfectly. Seb kept it classy with a dark blue suit and light blue button-up that brought out his eyes, no tie, because who needs one?

Right at the end of the ceremony right as the officiant was about to have you say ‘i do’, you heard whines coming from Penny, who was sitting right up front on her daddy’s lap. You looked over to see her squirming in his lap and whining out ‘mama’ and reaching out for you. Chris made eye contact with you and mouthed ‘i’m sorry’. You shook your head and let go of one of Sebastian’s hands to motion to let her go so she could walk over to you.

Everyone aww’d as she walked over to you as quickly as her legs could take her. You bent down and scooped her up, resting her on your hip and wrapping your arm around her waist to keep her up. Sebastian made faces at her to make her laugh and keep her happy for a few more minutes. Your photographer had taken advantage of the incredibly sweet moment and had made sure to get as many shots of Penny at the altar with you.

When the officiant pronounced you husband and wife, you were going to set Penny down but Sebastian was quick to pull you both close to him and go in for your first kiss as a married couple with your daughter right there. Everyone cheered and Penny was mimicking the claps of everyone around her. Before he pulled away from you two he pressed two sloppy kisses on Penny’s cheeks as she giggled, which pulled some tears out of you.

No more than 15 people were attending the ceremony. You wanted to keep it quiet with just family and a few close friends. The reception, however, was anyone and everyone you could fit into the ballroom you had rented at one of the best hotels in Boston. All your guests had filled the room before you and Seb arrived. You nervously held his hand as you heard the cheers from everyone inside after hearing the DJ announce “Ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary friends … let’s give it up for the couple of the hour, Mr. and Mrs. Sebastian Stan!!”

No one understood how you, Chris, and Seb managed to make your situation seem so easy and flawless. He knew that living in Boston was a must, so he bought the house that sits right behind the one you shared with Chris for so many years. He never wanted to get in the way of the system you and Chris had created over the years. Somehow, he managed to make things easier for everyone.

Penny’s first day of school was emotional for all 3 of you. You were all at your front door taking pictures of Penny in her school uniform that she looks so ridiculously cute in and the backpack that was way too big for her. She insisted on getting the Avengers backpack that “has my daddy on it!”

“Okay my love, it’s time for us to go to school! Are you ready?” Chris grabbed her tiny hand and led her to the car.

“Yeah daddy, I’m ready!” Penny said as he lifted her into the car and her car seat.

“Daddy? Mama and Sebbie coming too?” She asked him when he clicked the last buckle together. Right on cue Sebastian opened up the door to the free seat in the back and climbed in right next to her. She squealed in excitement at the sight of Sebastian buckling himself in the car.

Chris laughed at her genuine excitement and made sure all her fingers and toes were inside the car before shutting the door. He saw you lock the front door and make your way to the front seat. He noticed you put a few packs of tissues in your bag before setting it on the ground and buckling your seatbelt.

“Planning on crying today, Y/N?” Chris asked in a teasing tone. You swatted his arm lightly and scoffed at his question.

“Our baby is going to her first day of school, of course, I’m going to cry! I cried last night after I tucked her in, I cried in the shower this morning, I cried doing her hair.” You heard Seb talking enthusiastically to Penny, telling her about all the fun things she’ll get to do in kindergarten.

“It’s okay, I cried in the bathroom while she ate her waffles this morning.” You snorted at Chris’s confession and looked back at your baby girl, who was not a baby anymore. She was waving her hands around telling Seb about how excited she was to see her teacher again.

Chris and Sebastian watched from the car as you walked through the front doors of the school with Penny’s hand in yours. They had agreed that it might not have been a good idea to go in with her since they might get recognized and to avoid causing a ruckus. They both waved at her as she turned around and waved one more time before the door shut.

“Did you and Y/N ever think about having more kids together? If I hadn’t started dating her, do you think you would've had more?” Sebastian asked Chris.

“We never explicitly talked about it. She brought up wanting Penny to have lots of siblings not long after you started seeing each other. She felt guilty and thought that I was going to be upset about you and her maybe having kids one day, which meant I probably wouldn’t have anymore. I told her that this was honestly the best thing that could’ve happened because I don’t think I want any more of my own. Penny is all I ever wished and hoped for, and I got it. But since you’re together, she’ll get all the siblings she could ever want, and I won’t have to change a single diaper.” Chris nudged Seb’s shoulder with his. “You guys thinking about having one?”

“Yeah... Yeah, we are.” Sebastian lowered his head and smiled a bit. “With Penny in school and everything, it makes sense. She’s ready, I’m ready.” Seb sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He looked up and saw you walking back towards them with a tissue in your hand.

“I had the morning crying shift, it’s your turn.” Seb looked at Chris.

Just as Penny wrapped up her very first year in school, you and Sebastian welcomed Beverly Olivia Stan-Y/L/N into your family. Penelope had been so excited to hear that her mama finally had the baby she had been waiting so long for. You had gone into labor in the late afternoon and Beverly made her debut in the middle of the night.

Sebastian had called Chris an hour or so after to let him know that both you and the baby were doing phenomenally and that you were asking for Penny and wanted to see her as soon as you could. Chris chuckled at the demands you were making, knowing very well how the epidural and pain meds messed with you.

Early the next morning Penny had crawled into bed with Chris, crying for you and wanting to know when she was going to see you. It was still too early for them to go to the hospital, so he called Seb in hopes that he was already going to be awake.

A very exhausted Sebastian lit up the screen and Chris heard the soft cries of the new baby in the background. Penny’s cries turned into hiccups as soon as she saw Seb’s face because she knew she would be able to see her mama, too.

“Sebbie can I see mama, please?” Penny’s little voice spoke up. Sebastian immediately handed the phone to you and whispered that Penny was on the phone.

“Hi, baby.” You spoke softly to not disturb the baby.

“Mama when you come home? I miss you.” Penny wiped her eyes with her fists to get rid of the tears stuck in her eyelashes.

“It’s going to be a few days until I get to go home, baby. But you and daddy will be able to come to see me, Sebbie, and the new baby in a few hours. You need to go back to sleep and be a good girl for your daddy. I’m sure he’ll let you have some cuddles in his bed with him and Dodger until it’s time to wake up again.” Penny hiccuped and looked at Chris with eyes that mirrored his. He nodded his head and she buried herself closer to him.

“Okay, I go back to sleep with daddy and Dodger. I love you, mama. I love Sebbie, too.” She yawned out, her eyes blinking with sleep.

“Me and Sebbie love you so much, Penny. We’ll see you so soon, I promise” You blew a kiss to her through the screen and waited for her to throw one back. She giggled when you caught it through the camera and put it over your heart.

You, Sebastian, and Chris all watched with tears in your eyes as Penny held her baby sister for the first time. Penny had jumped right up in the bed next to you the second she walked into the room and told you about all the fun she had with Chris. Seeing your girls together melted your heart into a puddle. Chris couldn’t believe his little girl was so grown up and was a big sister. Seb thought about the night he first met you and Penny and would’ve never imagined that he’d be right here at this very moment.

Everything was so perfect and you never wanted to imagine your life being any different.