#me: i just really love jake and amy so much

[granddaughterofdemeter]

Hi, if you want to do it I would really appreciate it, you can do an imagine Percy Jackson x Female reader daughter of Hades where she is very close to her godly Father (Hades best father) they are very close and she and Percy are dating and Hades finds out, Can you tell me what their confrontation with Jealous Hades would be like with his daughter and Percy with that affronting and sarcastic way of his?

ofc!

*inspo from b99, jake meeting amy's dad*

Get. Away. From. My. Daughter.

[percy jackson x f!reader]

" Or I will. skin. you"

" So you can just control your daughter's life?"

"No-, ugh you, Perseus Jackson, are so infuriating."

You love Percy, of course you do, but when he asked to meet Hades you freaked. He was hurt, sadly, but he quickly understood why after this.

Though, unfortunately for you, your man is a very, very, maddening person.

A large bang caught your attention as Percy leaned in, a mischievous grin crossing his face. You both snapped your eyes toward the door while the dark energy surrounding the Underworld crawled close to you.

The guilty sighs coming from both Nico and Will helped you discern what was going on.

" We tried, [Name]. I'm sorry..." Will apologized. You smiled and shook them off as you placed your focus on your very angry father.

"[NAME], why would you even think about dating this mediocre, dense, child?"

You groaned but before you could say anything, your, mediocre, dense, boyfriend, interrupted you.

"Maybe it's because she likes my, mediocre, dense, brain!"

Hades nearly lost it...

So, of course Percy made it worse by twirling you to face him and kissing you on the forehead knowing full well that your dad would lose his shit.

"Get. Away. From. My. Daughter, Or I will skin you alive."

"So you think you can just control your daughter's life?"

"No- ugh, you, Perseus Jackson, are an infuriating person! [Name], are you sure this is the person you want to spend a while in your life with?"

Percy got increasingly offended.

"A while? Why can't she spend a lifetime with me?"

Hades laughed in your boyfriends face, before retorting. "My daughter has the ability to gain men much better than you ever could be."

That was when you butt in. "How dare you say that Percy isn't a man that deserves me?"

"It's alright, Rosie, he's not wrong." Percy chuckled, antagonized by the truth he could see your dad's words.

"No, you deserve me and I deserve you, and my father doesn't have the right to call my romantic choice 'mediocre' because this isn't the 1800s and he can't sell me for two sheep."

Percy smiled gently towards you as you scolded your surprised dad just for him.

Hades sighed, looking at the gaze that your lover held for you. He could see the love that he had long ago refused to believe that Poseidon's demigod son could hold for someone that wasn't himself just like his father.

But that moment was what helped Hades realize that he can't control the fact that you are your own woman who can choose who you want to love...

hope you like it!

sorry it took me so long (ノへ￣、)

[lenacosse]

You are in love

pairing: jake peralta x reader

cw: none

word count: 1600

summary: literally just based off the song you are in love by taylor swift, was written so quick but i love it

════════════════

One look dark room, meant just for you

“Jakes staring again,” Amy hummed nudging you to look.

You made eye contact with Jake who quickly looked away, your face went red and you tried to hide your smile.

“He wasn’t even looking at me.” You reply, shutting down Amy’s ideas.

“If you say soooo,” she blew you a kiss and stumbled over to the bar.

Before you knew it Jake was over sitting beside you, you smiled and took a sip of your drink.

“Hey.” Jake said.

“Hi.” You replied.

“Having fun?”

“I guess, just very loud in here,” you shrugged.

“I can’t believe you’ve been with us for three years now,”

Time moves too fast, you play it back

“I remember how shy you were, how you were scared of Holt.” Jake teased.

“Shut up Jake.” You playful shoved his arm, then resumed fidgeting with the buttons on your coat. “I remember you being oh so adamant to help me.”

Buttons on a coat, lighthearted joke

The two of you went back and fourth, Jakes only goal was to torment you. Something he done very often, you didn’t mind you thought he was funny but never would you admit that.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Jake asked.

“Actually yeah, I’ll call a cab.”

“No need, I’ll drive us I haven’t been drinking.”

“Okay.”

No proof, not much. But you saw enough.

Jake stands up and holds out his hand to help you up, this of course had your face turning red and your heart thumping. It was the little things he done that mislead your heart, there were times where you swore your feelings were mutual. Maybe you were wrong, but sometimes you allowed yourself to dream.

Jake even went as far as opening the car door for you, usually you’d roll your eyes at the gentleman approach but for some reason it was sweet when Jake done it, as much as you’d joked that he was a womaniser you knew he was far from that.

Small talk, he drives.

“So how are you enjoying work recently? Feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” You ask as Jake drives.

“The usual, busting drug lords, bringing down the mafia, saving the world day by day.” Jake replies.

“Ha ha very funny Peralta.” You roll your eyes, and his only response is a bashful grin, one that you know will reply in your mind.

Coffee, at midnight.

You and Jake went back to your apartment, you read the clock which hits midnight as he hands you a mug of coffee.

“Gonna be up all night,” Jake jokes.

“Oh I can image, you high on caffeine like a little child.” You tease, Jake just pulls a mocking face at you.

You go sit out on your balcony, Jake follows behind you and you sit in a comfortable silence drinking your coffee.

The light reflects, the chain on your neck.

“The moons reflecting on your necklace,” Jake says, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Really?”

He says, “look up” and your shoulders brush.

“Look up,”

No proof, one touch. But you felt enough.

As you do you brush shoulders with Jake, the touch sending chills down your spine. It was as if he sent electrical waves coursing through your body, it just solidified your undying commitment. You ever longing attraction. It spoke volume.

You can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home, you can see it with the lights out.

A comfortable silence emerged yet again over you both, that happened often with Jake. It’s not that you it was awkward but because you simply didn’t need to talk. As you watched him admire the moon the feeling that settled in your stomach grew, you found yourself reflecting on your feelings. It was simple. That feeling was heard in the silence that feeling was felt on the way home, and you could see it with the lights out. There’s was only one answer.

You are in love.

True love.

════════��═══════

Morning, his place.

You and Jake had been on your second date together, he asked you out two weeks ago. It came out in a complete blur.

You and Jake had just chased down a fugitive on the run, you ran two blocks which included jumping over fences and dodging hotdog carts. God this job was going to kill you. But finally you got the guy as a result of you lunging forward and landing on top of him knocking you both to the ground. Jake arrested him and you turn to make your way back to the car when he calls out for you.

“(Y/N)?”

You turn around, “yeah?”

“Go on a date with me tomorrow night?” He blurts out in one breath. You didn’t catch a word.

“What?”

“Go on a date with me tomorrow night?”

You couldn’t stop the stupid grin that overtook your face, of course you said yes. The date had gone so well, so well that when you got home you stayed awake all night thinking about him. And of course you had no hesitation asking him out for another date.

Burnt toast, Sunday.

Now you lay in his bed, slowly waking up. Although when you hear the fire alarm you jump up and run to the kitchen.

“Jake?! What the fuck!”

“Burnt toast…” Jake pulls a face and grabs the toast from the toaster, the toast which is fully cremated.

You look between Jake and the toast, the situation of course has you both laughing as you make him sit down. You from now on are appointed to make the food. You sit together on his couch eating toast (not cremated of course).

“You wearing my shirt?”

“I can take it off if you want… sorry it was just the first thing I grabbed.”

You keep his shirt.

“No why would you apologise keep it. Looks better on you.”

“Just my ex, got mad when I used his stuff.” You shrug, you didn’t realise how much that upset you until Jake lifted your chin.

He keeps his word.

“I promise I’ll never get mad at you,”

And for once, you let go, of your fears and your ghosts, one step, not much. But it said enough.

Usually you didn’t believe promises, but how could you not with Jake? Jake who was fiercely loyal and dedicated, Jake who would do anything to make someone smile. You knew he would keep his promises, and two months in that still withstood.

════════════════

“Jake!” You squeal running down the sidewalk.

He catches you and grabs your waist.

“You completely dodged the mistletoe.”

You kiss on sidewalks.

You roll your eyes and turn around, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him close. You share a passionate kiss, one that has your head fuzzy and lips swollen by the end of you. When he pulls away you blush like an idiot and take his hand, you walk towards the car.

You fight, then you talk.

“No but seriously,” Jake starts as he gets into the car. “Why did you dodge the mistletoe. Is it about your family again?”

“Jake we’ve had this conversation.” You sigh as you turn on your engine and start the car up.

“I know but I don’t understand, you bring me to family events but you refuse to introduce me as your boyfriend.”

“Because it’s not that simple!”

“What’s not simple? All you have to say is ‘mom, dad this is my extremely handsome boyfriend Jake’ see easy.”

“Jake be serious come on,”

“Sorry. But please just tell me what’s so wrong with it, are you embarrassed of me or something?”

“How can you say that? Of course I’m not embarrassed of you Jake.” You sigh. “I don’t tell my family because I can’t handle them ruining this for me. Every time I’ve been happy they ruin it for me, either it’s them discrediting me becoming a detective because my sister has became a doctor, or it’s them making me feel bad for feeling sad when someone disappoints me, or most frequently it’s them picking apart all of my boyfriends because god forbid I’m happy for once. That’s why Jake. That’s why I refuse to introduce you as my boyfriend because I refuse to let them put things into my head.”

“I’m sorry, I had no idea.” Jake rubs a thumb over your hand.

“No it’s not your fault, I should have told you.”

════════════════

One night, he wakes

You smile looking at Jake before returning to your book, the lamp on your beside table dimly lights up the room. And again you find yourself staring at Jake, who’s so peacefully sleeping. His features outlined by the light, making him look ethereal. You were staring so intensely that you almost didn’t notice him waking up.

Strange look on his face

“Why are you looking at me like that.” You softly laugh, “everything okay?”

Pauses, then says;

“You’re my best friend.”

And you knew what it was.

The simplicity of the words has your throat stifling. You could recognise that realisation anywhere.

He is in love.

You knew he shared it too.

You can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home, you can see it with the lights out.

Finally you weren’t alone in this. You shared it, the love lingered all around. It was heard in the silence by both, it was felt on the way home by both, and it was seen with the lights out, by both.

[miryum]

"Negotiation"

Summary: Detective!Jason Todd x detective!Reader based on Jake and Amy's relationship

Series Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence (but nothing descriptive), guns and other police stuff

Series Masterlist

“L/n,” Wayne rapped his fist on Y/n’s desk urgently. “There was a botched B&E at a jewellery store on Benbrock that just turned into a hostage situation.” He sighed and said, “they want you to be the negotiator.”

Y/n gasped and let out a strangled noise of excitement. “Oh my God, my prayers have finally been answered!”

“You pray for a hostage situation?” Jason asked incredulously.

“Yes, I did.” Y/n turned to him, serious as stone. “Every single day.”

Jason frowned, more concerned for the hostages after they heard Y/n’s jokes than Y/n herself. He knew she could handle herself. ”I don't understand. Why isn't ESU handling this?”

“Apparently, the hostage-taker asked for Y/n by name.” Wayne raised a brow and stared down at his detective like she had an answer.

“Oh, it's getting even cooler!” Y/n hummed and contemplated, “man, I wonder who it is. Maybe it's the sister of someone I put away for life. Ooh! Or the identical twin of someone I put away for life. Ooh! Or the fraternal twin of-”

Captain Wayne cut off her tangent. “L/n! Just get down there! And take Drake with you.”

“You got it!” Y/n beamed and jumped up. “Yep, yep, yep.” She turned to Tim who had come to stand next to her. “How do I look? Police-y enough?” She waved him off before he could answer. “It doesn't matter. Let's go negotiate!”

When Tim and Y/n got the the jewellery store, the block was closed off and police cars were surrounding the building, sirens going on and off periodically. Y/n waltzed up to the area and pronounced, “don’t panic, everyone, I'm here.��� An officer beckoned her over and Y/n introduced herself. “I'm Y/n L/n, the negotiator.”

The man stared at her, unimpressed. “So you're Y/n L/n?”

“The negotiator, yes. And… who are you?”

“Arnold Flass, ESU. This was my crime scene before you bozos got here.”

Tim sipped on his coffee before noting, “nice to meet you too, Arnold.”

“I've spent ten years as a negotiator and you just took my first hostage situation,” Arnold exclaimed. “All I've done up until now is talk jumpers off of rooftops.”

“Well, that must be satisfying in its own way, right?” Y/n offered. Tim walked off to talk to a more senior, professional officer.

Arnold scoffed. “Yeah, really satisfying saving a crazy person's life. Here's a little advice: I don't like you.”

“Not so much advice as a hurtful statement based on limited interaction,” Y/n muttered.

“He wants to talk to you,” Tim came back and motioned to Y/n.

Arnold rolled his eyes and ripped the label off his vest. He handed it to Y/n begrudgingly. “Get the hell in there.”

“Oh, it says ‘negotiator’ on it.” Y/n happily put it on and weaved through the crowd of officers and bystanders. She took a bullhorn from a cop and called into it, “this is Y/n L/n. I am unarmed and I'm approaching the building.” The door swung open ominously and Y/n glanced back at Tim. He gave her a nod of encouragement. “You wanted to talk to me?” Y/n stepped into the jewellery store, peeking around the corner.

“Keep those hands in the air,” a voice commanded. Then, in a lighter tone, the voice joked, “and wave 'em like you just don't care.”

“What?” Y/n’s brows furrowed, confused.

The hostage-taker finally came into view. “I'm just messing with you, L/n.” Roy Harper grinned. “Put your hands down, give me a hug, darling.”

“Roy!” 

“Okay, so are we gonna talk about it?” Steph slipped into the seat next to Jason and leaned on his desk.

“Nope.”

“Todd, you frustrate me,” Damian said. Steph blinked at him, not realising he was listening in.

Jason’s chest clenched. “There is nothing we need to talk about.”

“I disagree,” Damian muttered. 

“Listen,” Jason turned away from his computer and Steph knew that it was about to get real. “I just went out on another date with Rose. She’s a lovely girl and I was thinking of taking it to the next step. I’m planning on asking her to be my official girlfriend tomorrow night.”

Steph shook her head. “Yeah, that’s not gonna work. You see, my big plan in life is to push you and Y/n together so you can all be happy and possibly make even cuter babies.” 

Jason blushed and swallowed thickly. “I’m not interested in L/n.” 

Damian scoffed. “Brown, we have a lie detector at the precinct, correct?”

Steph grinned, eyes lighting up with mischief. “Hey…. Richard!” she called to Dick. “Wanna have a little fun?” Dick looked up, beaming impishly.

“I gotta admit, man,” Roy said, shrugging. “I thought you'd be more happy to see me. Why’re you being so weird?”

“Oh, I don't know.” Y/n pursed her lips together. “I didn't sleep well last night, so I’m just tired. Oh, and also, this is a hostage situation!”

“Wow!” Roy sucked in a dramatic breath. “It's like that.”

“Yes, it's like that. What the hell, man? You called me, remember? You promised me that you wouldn’t do anything to wind up in jail!” Y/n referenced the time when Roy called her in the middle of the night to promise to stop his life as a criminal.

“I didn’t! I work at Tiffany and Co. now.” He rested a proud hand on his chest. ”I sell luxury jewels to the rich and famous and I do it legally. Last week I sold a sapphire necklace to the dude who played Johnny in Hotel Transylvania.”

“You met Johnny?” Y/n exclaimed. “Was he cool? Does he actually like vampires in real life? Wait- no.” She caught herself. “We’re not chatting right now. You have three hostages.”

“You mean Pam and the two Bobs?” Roy looked at the three people on the floor, rope loosely tied around their wrists. “They’re not hostages. I prefer to call them ‘collateral friendships.’ I gave them each one hundred bucks out of my own pocket.”

One of the Bobs spoke up. “Thanks again, Roy.”

The other Bob nodded his head in agreement. “You’re the man, Roy.”

Pam stuttered, “a-actually, I'd rather not be a hostage.”

“Pam hasn't come around to me yet.” Roy shrugged. “Tell her I'm a nice person, Y/n.”

“I'm so sorry,” Y/n said to Pam.

“Officer, are you friends with this criminal?” Pam asked, aghast.

Y/n’s nose scrunched up. “Not really…”

However, Roy replied at the same time, “absolutely, best friends.”

“It's a layered relationship, Pam,” Y/n defended.

“Best friends,” Roy corrected.

”Harper,” Y/n hissed, pulling him towards the door. “What is going on, dude?”

“This isn't my fault, darling!” Roy protested. “Two years ago before I went straight, I stole a big ruby from a drug dealer: Jack Napier.”

“Oh, no, Roy.” Y/n groaned. ”He's a bad guy.”

Roy whined, “I know! When I realised it was his jewel, I torched the briefcase it was in along with the drugs that were in there! Who the hell puts drugs and rubies in the same briefcase?!”

“Oh, no, Roy,” Y/n groaned in the same pitch as before. ”Briefcase drugs?”

“Millions of dollars of them! Napier just found out it was me. Said I had to do a job for him to pay off my debt.”

“But did you tell him you went straight? Did you tell him about Johnny?” Y/n asked desperately.

“I did. He said he didn’t watch Hotel Transylvania.” 

“Oh, this guy is the worst.”

“I know.” Roy’s voice turned desperate and low. “L/n, he said he's gonna kill Lian if I don't do this job.”

Y/n’s eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open. “He can't do that. I won’t let him do that. The GCPD can help you guys. We can put you in witness protection!”

Roy shook his head. “I can’t mess up my daughter’s life ‘cause of my mistakes. That's why I'm here stealing this big ‘ole bag of rubies; to make up for the one I stole. Y/n, you know how dangerous this guy can be.” He took a breath. “I need you to help me save my daughter.”

“How can I help?” Y/n responded immediately. 

“Easy. I have a plan that's good for everyone. All I need is for you to-”

“-let him go so he can arrange a drop with Napier.” Y/n explained Roy’s plan to Tim. “We arrest Napier, save Lian, Roy turns himself in, and why is that amazing, Tim?”

“Napier’s a huge crime boss,” Tim answered.

“Aaaand what else?”

“GCPD's been trying to get Napier for years.”

“And?”

“That's it.”

“Yeah, it is.” Y/n said, “so, since we all agree, I'll go tell Roy the plan is on.” She swung around to go back inside, but Arnold stopped her.

“No, we don't all agree. He's trapped and frantic. Everything he told you is a lie.”

“Why do you say he's lying?” Y/n asked.

Arnold frowned. “That's all negotiating is. Two liars lie until one liar stands too close to the window and gets shot in the head.”

Y/n scoffed loudly. “That can't be all negotiating is!” She noticed Tim’s head lolling to the side. “Timmy, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but have some more coffee.”

“It absolutely is. Now, get in there and coax him to a window.” Arnold pressed a button on his walkie talkie. “Snipers to one. The window plan is on. I repeat: The window plan is on.”

“No, no, no, no, no!” Y/n cried and tugged the walkie talkie away from Arnold. “Snipers to zero! Snipers take a nap. The nap plan is on. It's nap time, snipers!” 

A couple minutes later, Y/n regretfully told Roy, “ESU won't take your deal. They think you're lying.”

“I'm not lying!” Roy gasped dramatically, offended. “I don't wanna be a criminal. I love my life as an average citizen. I voted for the first time this year! It was huge. Lian helped me fill in the little boxes. She chose Ed Breakfast for school board.”

“Who?”

“I don't know,” Roy muttered. “He had a funny name. He deserves a shot.”

“That's exactly why I voted for Stacy Ladle! Anyway, I'm sorry, but they're not cutting a deal.”

“So that's it?” Roy sighed. “I gotta turn myself in and let Napier kill Lian? You’ll take care of her, right?”

 Y/n’s heart broke and she could feel a plan formulating in her mind. “Actually… there might be another way.”

“Alright, Todd.” Dick strutted in front of Jason. “We’re gonna do this one time and one time only. Do you have feelings for Y/n?” 

“Are you shitting me?” Jason’s head fell into his hands. He was strapped to a lie detector test that Steph was currently monitoring. “We’re actually doing this?”

“Yep!” Dick said. “We have to know. Now, let’s go over the evidence.”

Damian wheeled in a large cork-board which was covered in index cards, push pins, and signature red string. The index cards said things like: ‘Halloween incident,’ ‘Valentine’s Day nicknames,’ ‘1000 pushups blanket,’ ‘googly eyes,’ ‘lack of dates,’ and more.

As Jason read over the cards, his face slowly got more and more red. Dick gleefully snapped a polaroid picture of Jason’s current face and secured it to the board, adding it as another factor of evidence. 

Roy shouted from the doorway of the jewellery store. “I've taken your negotiator hostage! If you come in here, I will shoot her.”

Y/n wailed, “just do whatever he says! My life is in his hands! Please!” 

Roy slammed the door behind them and then broke out in giggles. “That was so much fun!”

“Oh, man, you sounded really scary.” Y/n exhaled.

“No, no, it was all you. The tremble in your voice sold it. ‘Just do whatever he says.’” Roy mimicked Y/n’s panicked voice

“I mean, I just made that up. Ah, I was so in the moment.” Y/n silently praised herself on her acting skills.

“Darling, seriously? You are a great hostage,” Roy complimented.

“Aw, thanks, Harper. You're a great hostage-taker.”

Outside, Arnold was talking to Tim, lamenting, “I can't believe L/n got taken hostage. The good news is… I'm now the negotiator. Finally!” He slapped another marker labelled ‘negotiator’ on. 

“Congratulations,” Tim said dryly.

“I've been waiting for this moment for so long!” Arnold exclaimed.

Roy’s voice from the bullhorn cut him off. “I'm ready to negotiate. But I'll only talk to Tim Drake.”

“That's me, Arnold.” Tim ripped Arnold’s label off and placed it on himself.

“Oh, come on!”

“Welcome, my man!” Roy waved to Tim when the latter entered the store. “I don’t think we’ve met before, have we? I’m Y/n’s bestie. I’m a hugger; bring it in.” He walked over to Tim with open arms.

Tim, however, yanked on one of those arms and looped it over Roy’s head, effectively holding him in place. “Roy Harper, you're under arrest.”

“Holy fuck, Tim’s strong?” Y/n mumbled. “But he’s so lanky and only runs on coffee. Wait, Tim, stop.”

“What's going on?” Tim grunted as he tried to place cuffs on Roy.

“Look, this is not really a hostage situation. I mean, Pam and the two Bobs are definitely being held against their will, but not for much longer.”

Roy spoke up, trying to be helpful. “Y/n’s helping me take down Napier.”

“We can't do it without you,” Y/n pleaded.

“Seriously, L/n?” Tim scoffed. “Isn’t this the guy that you and Cass tried to take down? The one you did a thousand push ups for?” 

“You did a thousand push ups for me?” Roy cooed. 

“Not important.” 

“This is like that story my dad told me as a little kid. He used to quiz me on fables from different cultures.” Tim said, finally releasing Roy. “You're the frog and he's a scorpion. You're gonna help him across the river. In the end, he'll sting you. And then you'll both drown.”

“Geez, that's dark.” Y/n grimaced.

“Yeah, I’d never tell Lian that story,” Roy said.

“My parents didn't read to me at all,” Y/n commented. “I just watched cartoons ’till I fell asleep. Do you think that our childhoods shape the adults we become?” She hummed thoughtfully.

“They do,” Roy and Tim said at the same time.

“And cartoons shaped you into a naive little frog,” Tim said.

“Okay, first off,” Y/n held up a finger. “Little frogs are adorable, and second, he's not that kind of scorpion anymore.”

“I'm a changed bug,” Roy said.

“Actually, scorpions are arthropods.” Tim and Y/n spoke together. Tim looked at her, surprised. “What?” She shrugged. “I listened to the documentary you made us watch. Tim, I know he used to be a criminal and has fooled me in the past, and yes, he is currently engaged in criminal activity.”

“Innocent until proven guilty,” Roy reminded Tim. “But yes, I technically am robbing the store.”

“But, Tim, his daughter is in danger and we have to help her. He agreed to turn himself in when this is all over. Right, Roy?” Y/n scrutinised him.

“I promise.”

Tim sighed. “Cass warned me about him. But okay. What do you need from me?”

“We have an airtight plan.” Roy grinned. He poked the bullhorn out of the door and shouted, ”all we demand is pizza!”

“I’m in a relationship with Rose,” Jason insisted.

“You’re not answering the question!” Dick exclaimed, growing more frustrated. 

“That’s because the question is stupid and doesn’t need to be answered!”

“Todd, you must have lost half your brain if you think you’re fooling us.” Damian didn’t look impressed.

“Jason,” Steph exhaled. “By not answering the question, you’re answering the question.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t make sense.” Jason shot back lamely.

“It’s okay to have feelings for L/n.” Steph said, oddly calmly. “You’re not admitting defeat.”

“No, I’m aware, but just…” he sighed heavily and stared down at the table. “What if she doesn’t like me back?”

Steph slowly shut off the computer and the lie detector. Damian had a rare look of sympathy glazing over his eyes. “But she does,” Dick said softly. “She’s told all of us herself. Right, guys?” he asked his friends. 

“If I had a nickel…” Steph smiled and huffed, trailing off.

“She’s interrupted many movie nights with tangents of you,” Damian frowned at the fact. He had yet to finish The Gladiator because of Y/n.

“We'll be safe here,” Roy directed Y/n towards a small, neon-lit shop. Tim had provided them a distraction long enough for Roy and Y/n to sneak away. Tim said he would meet with them later. “I know the owner. He'd never turn me in.”

“Yeah,” Y/n nodded along knowingly. “I have the same relationship with the guy who runs this laser tag place I love. I- I mean, gun range.”

Roy chuckled. “L/n, why’re you lying to me, huh? I love laser tag! We gotta go sometime, darling.” He led her inside the place and to a back room which had a large screen and a karaoke machine plugged in and ready to go.

Y/n beamed. “I was hoping you'd say that. Alright, let's text Napier and set up the drop.”

“Okay, yeah. ‘Got the diamonds. Let's meet.’” He clicked his phone and the message was sent. “Done.”

“Okay, now we wait.” She clicked her tongue and hummed. “You know, it’s kinda weird, sitting silently in a private karaoke room, not singing.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. “But we're on a mission, so, you know, we gotta stay focused.”

“True, true, true, true, true, true.”

“So I wake in the morning and I step outside and I TAKE a deep breath and I GET! REAL! HIGH! And I scream at the top of my lungs ‘WHAT’S GOIN’ ON?’” Roy sang in a falsetto as Y/n accompanied him in a lower tone.

In the middle of the song, Roy’s phone dinged and he paused the song. “Ugh. It’s Napier.”

Y/n pouted in disappointment. “Yeah….”

“The drop is set for 5:00 p.m.” Roy informed her. 

“Let's do this.”

“Totally. Although…” Roy shot Y/n a knowing look. “That is an hour and a half from now.”

“And the drop point is actually pretty close to here,” Y/n added.

“So..."

“DANCING QUEEN! YOUNG AND SWEET! ONLY SEVENTEEN OOOOOOOH…”

Tim walked into the room and slowly sipped on his coffee, looking more tired than ever.

“I feel more sympathy for our perps now.” Jason ripped the lie detector off himself. 

“Can you please just admit that at some point, past or present, you’ve had feelings for Y/n L/n?” Dick begged. They had spent over three hours in the interrogation room, grilling Jason on his feelings and not getting any work done.

“If it makes you let me go, then yes.” 

“I’ll take it!” Steph cried. “It’s close enough!”

“I still say I could’ve made fine use out of a pair of pliers.” Damian glared at Jason. Jason couldn’t help but shudder under his stare. 

“Torture me all you want,” Jason said. “But I don’t like Y/n like that. She’s like a sister to me. We’ve worked together for over four years. I don’t love her romantically.” 

If he had still been connected to the lie detector, its lines would’ve jumped widely.

Steph said quietly, “just know this: to remember is to love.”

Roy explained the plan to Tim and Y/n in the parking lot where Napier would meet them. “First, a jeweller will come out and inspect the rubies. Then, when he gives the okay, Napier will come and get them.”

“And then I'll take him down.” Y/n cracked her knuckles dramatically.

“Here we go,” Roy mumbled as an expensive car pulled up and a thin man got out. Harper, Drake, and L/n got out of Y/n’s old car and Roy greeted, “What's up, dude? Did anybody ever tell you that you look like the most interesting man in the world? You get that a lot?” After an awkward silence, Roy inhaled sharply. “Geez, I get it. We're not friends.”

The thin man held out his hand and Roy placed the sack of small rubies in it. The man inspected a random ruby and then nodded. Another man got out of the car and Roy said, “There he is. Napier! What's up, Mr. Napier? How’re you doing?” Napier’s car pulled away to give them some privacy.

“Shut up.” Napier licked his lips. “Give me the rubies.”

A new voice shouted from the other end of the parking lot. “L/N!” 

Y/n cringed. “No, no, no, not now.”

Arnold yelled out, “I tracked your phone, idiot. I knew you were working with this criminal! You were gonna double cross us!”

Y/n’s head whipped back to Napier, but he was already running down the street, phone pressed to his ear, likely calling his driver.

Arnold gasped. “That's Napier. Harper wasn’t lying. Well, we gotta arrest him!” Arnold grabbed Y/n’s vest and pulled her back.

“Y/n, he's running!” Tim cried, already in pursuit of Napier.

“Lemme go!” Y/n tried to yank away.

“Only if I get the collar and one hundred percent of the credit.” Arnold growled.

“Are you negotiating right now?”

“Always.”

“Okay, that was actually a really cool line. Deal. Let’s do it.” She pointed harshly at Roy. “Stay. Here.”

“Okay.” Roy shrugged.

Y/n and Arnold ran off after Napier, catching up to Tim. “GCPD!” Tim shouted. “Stop and put your hands in the air!” Napier continued running and Tim groaned. “Why don’t they ever listen?”

“Drake,” Y/n swerved towards another street. “I’ll block him off!”

“Not without me, you won’t!” Arnold changed direction and sprinted after Y/n. 

Napier’s eyes grew wide when he saw Y/n and Arnold appear ahead of him. He glanced over his shoulder and when he saw Tim, still in pursuit, he cried out in frustration. Y/n tackled him to the ground and threw handcuffs on him. After she was done Mirandizing him, she apologised to Arnold. “Sorry I ran out on you at the jewellery store. But I couldn't let this guy get away.”

“Look, I'm fine with it.” Arnold said. “Arresting Napier’s gonna get me a promotion and at the end of the day, that's what this is all about.”

Y/n squinted at him. “Right, that and getting a major drug lord off the streets.”

“Yeah, right. I don't care about that.”

Y/n stared at him, wide-eyed before brushing him off. “Whatever. Let's bring in Roy Harper.” She left Napier with Tim and ran back to the parking lot. Finding it empty, she cried, “Oh, fucking hell! Where is he? Roy? Roy?!”

Arnold saddled up behind her. “Don't worry. We'll get him. At least we have Napier and the rubies.”

Y/n simply shouted, “Roy!”

“Why are you still calling for him?”

“ROY!”

Arnold realised, “oh my God, he has the rubies, doesn't he?”

“Roy!” Y/n quickly composed her wits and muttered to herself, “I'm sure Harper didn't run off with the rubies. I bet he's looking for me right now. You know what, I bet he's worried that I’m in trouble!” She frantically pulled out her phone. “I'll just call him and put his mind at ease.”

Arnold raised a brow. “Lady, he's already gone.” He placed a hand on Y/n’s shoulder and Y/n pushed him off, giving him an icy glare. “He's not gonna picking up.” Y/n’s jaw clenched at Arnold’s words.

Suddenly, Roy’s voice filtered through her phone and she breathed a sigh of relief. “What's up, L/n?”

“Ha!” Y/n pointed a victorious finger at Arnold. “He did pick up. In your-”

“This is goodbye forever,” Roy cut her off.

“No!” Y/n stomped her foot. “I can't believe you deceived me. I can't believe you used my love for Lian against me.”

“I love that you love her.”

“Of course I do! She’s the living embodiment of the reminder that childhood innocence never dies.”

“Amen,” he agreed. “But, I wasn't lying though. Napier was gonna hurt her and you saved her life. Buuuut then I was all alone with the rubies and next thing I know, I'm hotwiring a car and driving away.

”But I thought you liked being a good citizen? You voted Ed Breakfast for school board!” Y/n whined. 

“And he immediately had a sex scandal.” Roy reminded her. “It was very disillusioning.”

“Understandable. Our democracy is crumbling. But, Roy, this is not what we’re talking about. They could take my badge!” 

“Tim was right.” Roy smiled faintly. “I'm a scorpion. I thought you knew me better by now. I'm sorry I can't be the man you want me to be.”

“Damn it, stop being so romantic.” Y/n choked on her words and begged, “now turn around and come back to me, you fool?” The line clicked and she called, “hello? Hello? He's gone…. He broke my heart.” Tim walked up behind her as her lip quivered theatrically. She turned towards her fellow detective and hugged him tightly. “Now you tell me everything's gonna be okay, Timmy boy!”

“Everything's gonna be okay,” Tim reassured monotonously.

“You don't know that, Tim!”

“I just got off the phone with the brass,” Captain Wayne said to Y/n. “It doesn't look good. They're still trying to decide on a punishment for your actions.”

Y/n sniffed and asked meekly, “Did you tell them I feel so bad I have a tummy ache?”

“I did. They were unaffected.”

“Are you sure it’s not cramps?” Jason pushed a box of chocolate towards his coworker. “It is your time of the month.”

Y/n grimaced in disgust. “It’s creepy that you know that.”

“Not really,” Tim said. “You, Steph, and Cass have all synced up. We all know when to have desserts in our desks.”

“I think even Kori is synced up to you guys,” Dick added. “Somehow.”

“So no.” Damian spoke up. “In this instance, Todd isn’t creepy.”

Y/n looked up at Wayne as if to ask his opinion on this matter. All he said is, “I have no comment to add in this conversation. Back to the topic at hand, the brass said they could’ve justified your tactics if you'd gotten Napier and the rubies, but as things stand, there are no rubies.” He sighed and said, “you're looking at a suspension, maybe worse. Unless you can track down Harper and recover those rubies.”

“Can they wait twelve months?” Y/n asked hopefully. “I usually run into him about once a year.” Her eyes caught on something on her desk. “Wait a minute. What doth we have here?”

Y/n walked into the karaoke place and looked around hesitantly. “I've got this coupon for a private room?”

“Yep,” a worker said. “Right this way. We already have a song cued up for you.”

The screen blinked on as soon as the worker left the room and a large picture of Roy Harper with Lian on his hip showed up.

Y/n shook her head and muttered, “Harper.”

“What's up, L/n?” the recording asked happily. “Thank you so much for coming. So, I thought about it and I think I did you dirty. I never meant to cause you any trouble.”

“Yeah, well, you caused me a lot.” Y/n kicked at something at her feet.

Roy chuckled and said, “you're talking to a pre-recorded video, but it's cool. I know what you're saying. I hear you in my heart,” he said emphatically.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “What am I doing here?” she asked herself.

“I feel the same way,” the recorded Roy placed a hand to his heart. “You’re my best friend too.” He nodded thoughtfully and said, “look, I'm not coming back. We started a new life here in San Diego.” He jostled Lian who was giggling on his hip.

Y/n shook her head, grinning. “It’s stupid telling me where you are.”

“Come on, darling, I’m not in damn San Diego.” Roy laughed loudly. “Everybody knows that place sucks! But, I got you a little something as a going away gift. It's on the table next to you.”

Y/n opened the small velvet sack and gasped. “The rubies. Yes! I- I can’t believe you actually brought them back…”

“The rubies!” Roy cried from the screen.

Y/n let out a lighthearted laugh. “Yeah, you mistimed that one.”

“No, you're the best. Look, even though I am a scorpion, I will never drown your adorable little frog ass. So that's all I gotta say.” He glanced down at Lian who was smiling happily, staring at something in the distance. “I'm sure I'll see you again at some point,” Roy said, his eyes softening. “But for now, that coupon you got there, that's for a full hour in a private room. So…”

“Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go! BeeLZEbub has a devil put aside for meeee… for meeee! For meEEEEEEEEEE!” Lian sang along as Roy and Y/n banged their heads to the music.

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Not really a request, at least not a super detailed one but, anything with Rosa Diaz x autistic reader would be amazing!!

Maybe R drops off some lunch or something for rosa and meets the rest of the squad or smth?

In general i am in love with your autistic!reader fics. Im currently in the process of being diagnosed with autism, and its just really rather comforting to see myself in a reader insert

-Ara

Hey, Ara! 🥰 So glad you enjoy the autistic!reader fics! They are some of my favorites to write. I was just diagnosed about a year ago, so it's still new-ish for me, but I also find a lot of comfort in the autistic reader inserts. Hope this is what you're looking for, and best of luck with your diagnosis process! Feel free to reach out if you need a fellow autistic pal to talk through stuff with! 💕 –illdowhatiwantthanks

A Little Lunch

Rosa Diaz x autistic!fem!reader Warnings: explicit language, overstimulation (the autism kind), established relationship (let me know if I missed anything!) Word count: 1.4k

Summary: People aren't your forte, but you told your girlfriend you'd have lunch with her at the precinct, and so you will. And it goes... surprisingly better than expected.

You took a few deep breaths outside the precinct door, sandwiches from Rosa’s favorite shop in hand. You’d never visited her at work before, never met her coworkers. People weren’t your strong suit. But Rosa had asked you. She didn’t ask you for much. She liked to keep her work life separate from her personal life, for the most part. And the fact that she wanted you to meet her squad? Well, you couldn’t let her down. You wouldn’t.

The overhead lights were bright, and the general office noise was overwhelming when you stepped inside. You lurked in a corner, trying to acclimate yourself, trying to survey the room and find Rosa and calm yourself down so you could have a nice, normal lunch with your girlfriend.

You jumped a bit as a woman in a rolling chair slid in front of you, hands pressed together over her waist.

“Is that my Panera?” she said, staring at the bag in your hands.

“Uh… no.”

The woman stared at you for a moment, and you shuffled uncomfortably under her gaze and felt the need to provide a reason for your presence.

“I’m, uh… I’m here to see Rosa. Diaz. She's a detective. Do you know where she is?”

The woman’s face lit up. “Ohhhh… interesting. Did she order Panera, too? Great minds.” She held out your hand for you to shake, so you did. “Gina Linetti,” she told you. “Dancer, secretary, genius.”

“Gina, stop tormenting my girlfriend!”

You’d know that voice anywhere. You visibly relaxed as Rosa walked into the squad room, placing a strong, protective hand at the small of your back.

Gina held up her hands, as if in defense. “Sorry, Rosa. I thought she was Panera.”

“She’s not Panera,” Rosa growled. “She’s my girlfriend, and we’re eating lunch, and you’re leaving us alone.”

Rosa took your hand and led you through the precinct, into a break room scattered with tables where, alone and away from prying eyes, she planted a gentle kiss on your cheek.

“You okay?” she asked softly.

You nodded and held up the bag of food. Rosa gestured toward the table and went to grab napkins and, for neither the first nor the last time, you were grateful that you often didn’t need words with Rosa. You were comfortable in one another’s silence and, for you, this was life-changing. Your words were one of the first things to go when you got overstimulated, but Rosa never seemed to mind. For this, and for many other reasons, you loved her.

But you’d barely started on your lunch before people started trickling into the break room: Jake, Amy, Charles. All ostensibly eating lunch, too, even if they’d already taken lunch, even if all they had was a bag of chips from the vending machine, as Jake did.

“So, Y/N,” Amy started. “How did you and Rosa meet?”

Rosa jumped in before you forced yourself to say anything. “Hey,” she spat at the group crowding the table next to yours. “When I told Y/N she could meet me for lunch, I meant me. Not me and half the squad. Scram, losers.”

You gave a little half wave as they slunk out of the room, smiling a little as Charles mouthed off to you behind Rosa’s back: “We’ll catch up later!”

“Sorry,” Rosa said a few minutes later. “I know they can be a bit much.”

You shook your head and squeezed her hand, able to find your voice again. “It’s okay. They seem nice.”

“If by nice, you mean fucking crazy, then yes.”

A knock on the doorframe. At first, Rosa seemed annoyed by the interruption, but when she saw that it was Captain Holt she looked almost… proud?

“Captain,” she said, rising from her seat and nodding at him. She gestured toward you. “This is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, Captain Holt.”

You moved to stand and shake his hand, but Holt stopped you. “Oh, no, please.” He sat down next to you, and Rosa seemed comfortable with him, so you decided that Captain Holt was someone you would like. “It’s lovely to meet you,” he said.

“You too,” you replied, trying not to let your voice shake too much. You tried to think of something to say, tried to think of a topic of conversation, but you were floundering. Your voice was hard for you on a regular day, even sometimes with people you loved, like Rosa. You just couldn’t manage to force anything out. You felt your cheeks growing red. You hoped you weren’t embarrassing Rosa.

You couldn’t have said all this to Rosa even if you’d wanted to, but Rosa always seemed to get it anyway.

“Y/N, Captain Holt and his husband are going to the symphony tonight. I told him that was one of your favorites, too.”

You lit up. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Rosa, you thought. You loved the symphony. She was right; it was one of your favorites. Despite Rosa’s general indifference toward classical music, she’d gotten you both season passes for your birthday. She didn’t love the music, but she loved the way your eyes shone when you listened, the way you perched on the edge of your seat like a child. She loved that when she held your hand during the performances, she could tell when you were particularly moved because you’d get goosebumps and the hair on your skin would stand up.

“Oh, it’s John William Weischselbraun tonight, right? Bach’s Oboe Sonata? That should be excellent!”

Holt looked about as excited as Rosa had ever seen him.

“You’re a fan of the oboe, are you?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“Oh, yes, sir.” You nodded enthusiastically. “I played oboe in my high school orchestra. It’s a severely underrated instrument.”

Rosa beamed at you as Holt reached out to shake your hand. “Diaz....” he said, shaking a finger at her. “She’s a keeper.”

“Yes, sir,” Rosa nodded.

He stared at her reproachfully. “I hope you take this fine lady to the symphony and not just to your rock concerts.”

“She does, sir,” you assured him. “We even have season passes.” And then you had what you thought was maybe one of your more brilliant ideas. “Maybe we could all go together, sometime? Me and Rosa and you and your husband?”

Rosa and Captain Holt stared at each other for a moment, and you were afraid you’d misread the situation terribly. You’d always thought that Rosa liked Captain Holt, at least from the way she talked about him. You thought they were friendly with one another. Maybe you’d been wrong.

You tried to backtrack. “Or maybe not,” you blurted. “Just a thought.”

You couldn’t help but smile at how quickly both Rosa and Captain Holt jumped to reassure you. So quickly that their voices overlapped.

“That’d be great, babe.”

“Now, doesn’t that sound nice?”

Gina rolled in front of the door to the break room. “Captain, you have a phone call,” she yelled out as her chair rolled by.

“Excuse me,” Holt said, standing. He stood, pressed his hand over yours and said, “Truly nice to meet you, Y/N. I look forward to our mutual date.”

When he’d gone, Rosa stared at you. She was smiling. Really smiling.

“What?” you asked, your face reddening.

She leaned forward and kissed you quickly, her hand gently grasping your chin.

“What was that for?”

She tucked your hair behind your ear. “You did really good today,” she whispered. “I know you were nervous. Thanks for lunch.”

You turned an even deeper shade of red. “Anytime. Or, well, sometimes.”

She smirked and kissed you one more time, pulling away quickly as Jake wolf-whistled from the doorway.

“Shut your mouth, Peralta, or I’ll shut it for you,” she growled.

It was always so funny to you to see Rosa with others. So rough, so intimidating. When she turned back to you, she was soft. She was always soft with you.

“I’ll see you tonight?” she asked, squeezing your hand.

You nodded, as you stood to leave, perching on tiptoes to kiss her on the cheek. Your voice had slipped back inside of you for the time being, so you simply squeezed her hand back and let her walk you out of the precinct.

Rosa watched you go, swinging your arms a bit as you walked down the sidewalk, and her heart ached. She loved you so much. Your quiet voice, that was always a gift to hear. Your swinging, fidgety arms. The fact that you loved her so much, so purely. She only hoped she could show you just as much love in return.

[rotthepoet]

ILOVE YOU MATHEO FANFICS!!! And your Theo ones omg they're so cute and make me smile every time I see them!! Could you do something like this? If you want to of course!

It's like in Brookline nine nine where Jake and Amy have that bet where whoever gets the most arrests by the end of the year get to make the other do whatever they want.

• what if Matty boy or Theo (ether is good Matty would be my pick tho! Or if you like the prompt you could do one for each <3 ) and the reader had a bet about who could get the best marks on a test or something like that.

• And he wins and they make you go on "the worst date ever"

• like Jake made Amy in BNN. But like Jake that's when he realize his feelings for the reader.

Supper fluffy and cute!! Rivals/friends to lovers !

Love ya!!

HAHAHHA LMAOOO I’VE ACTUALLY STARTED WATCHING BROOKLYN 99 AGAIN AND THIS MADE ME CACKLLEEE

Because it was a complete and total shock when Mattheo made a better grade than you on your latest potions exam. He doesnt even show up to class half the time? Where the fuck does he get the time to study between all the ciggies hes smoking??

So fuck your life, because outside your door is Mattheo in a suit, holding a bouquet of flowers he knows you hate. He doesnt give them to you, tossing them out after you roll your eyes and nag at him.

Then onwards he takes you, an arm around your waist, walking you aorund Hogsmeade, and oddly enough the date doesn’t suck? He just keeps referring to you as his girlfriend, or his in general. He seems way too into this, to be honest.

He takes you out for a nice dinner, pays for everything, and honestly anxiety is chewing away at your stomach because its actually been a really pleasant night? When is the “worst part coming”

You actually stop him as he drops you off at your dorm, holding his arm. “You said this was going to be the worst date of my life?” “Was it not?” “No?” “Then since you enjoyed it so much, we should do it again sometime.” And he winks at you with all his skibity rizz.

And shit your heart is RACING on top of the blush spreading across your cheeks.

[aphroditelovesu]

would you be interested in writing a jake peralta angsts kinda like jake saves reader form something maybe??? if not possibly a yandere? please and thank youuuu

❝👮‍♂️— lady l: it took a while but it came out! I don't have much practice with angst, but I tried it and I hope you like it. Forgive me for mistakes!

❝tw: anxiety, panic attacks, mention of murder, my poor attempt at angst.

❝👮‍♂️pairing: yandere!jake peralta x female!reader

❝—👮‍♂️word count: +1,6k ❝👮‍♂️tag: @flowercrowns-goodvibes

You were in danger. You were in danger. You were in danger.

Jake's mind was just that, you were in danger and it scared the shit out of him. What had gone wrong? It was supposed to be just a simple undercover mission to catch a powerful drug dealer, but it all ended up going wrong.

What had happened to you?

Jake nearly passed out in panic when Captain Holt told him he'd lost communication with you, a big sign of trouble. You were supposed to be in contact with them all the time, but you stopped communicating and… Now none of them knew what happened to you. Were you alive? Hurt? By God, Jake will kill whoever hurt you, he was sure of it.

''Jakey'' Boyle's voice called to him, Jake looked at his friend and saw the concern on Charles's face. ''We will find her.'' He tried to reassure him, but even Boyle wasn't sure. The chances that you were murdered were high, although you were a well trained detective, there was always the chance, but he would never say that to his best friend. No one would say, everyone knew how obsessed Peralta was with you and knew how he reacted when it came to you.

''We will.'' Jake's voice was serious and full of hate. He was going to find you and he was going to punish the damned criminal who dared to try to hurt you.

Charles nodded and hugged Jake gently who returned the hug, but soon pulled away. ''Holt is trying to locate her and so is Terry. Soon (Y/N) will be with us again.''

Jake nodded calmly and something about that calmness startled Boyle. Why was Jake so calm? He knew his friend and he was scared to ask. Charles was never afraid of his friend, he revered and adored him, but something in Jake's eyes made him afraid. Almost like he was planning something and it wasn't something good.

''I will continue to work on the case. I'm going to visit the crime scene where she disappeared. I need to focus on finding her, because if I don't I am going to freak out.'' Jake finally said more than three words and sat down at his desk, the desk he shared with you. He mumbled something and smiled as he looked at the picture of the two of you together that he had placed next to his computer. You looked so happy.

He tried, he really tried, but he couldn't concentrate. Worry and fear seemed to eat him alive, his heart racing in panic and his mind conjuring up images of what could have happened to you or what you could be having to put up with right now.

Jake cringed as he remembered the gunshots that had echoed through the microphone you had in your ear to keep in touch with the 99.

[..]

You had to come back soon.

Everyone had agreed to that. Jake was freaking out and everyone around him. Nothing seemed to calm him down and the entire police station seemed to be affected by it, hampering the searches.

They all loved you. They were a family and you were a part of it and everyone was worried too.

Captain Holt and Rosa were the calmest ones, or at least they tried to remain calm, but he was also out of their mind with worry. Amy, Terry and Boyle just didn't freak out because they knew it wouldn't help anything, but Jake… Jake looked so distraught that he couldn't eat, drink and couldn't take his face away from the evidence they had found.

After searching the crime scene, they were able to find a few things that could lead to you. Or at least that's what they hoped, but Jake wasn't going to sit around waiting for the lab results.

Time was crucial and he wasn't going to waste it. Not when your life was in danger.

So he made a decision. A decision he knew he could regret for the rest of his life, but it wouldn't matter, not when he had you safe and sound in his arms again.

Jake sighed at the thought of the phone call he had received an hour ago and he felt trapped. The deal he had accepted was dangerous, but that was all for you.

''Jake was sitting at his desk, hunched over it, repeatedly reading the files on the drug dealer who had you. His name was Maximus Rodriguez, a notorious drug lord who had his petty dealers act for him and he had you. Jake clenched his fist in anger at the thought. Fuck.

Maximus was dead and so was his entire operation.

He grabbed his cell phone when it started to ring, an unknown number popping up on the screen. He frowned but accepted the call and a high pitched voice began to speak.

''Detective Peralta. What a pleasure.'' The voice said bored. ''Looking for your sweetheart?''

''Who is it?'' Jake asked irritably.

''You don't need to know my name. Yet. But you can call me Maury. I have information that I believe may be of interest to you.''

''Information?'' Jake was attentive. It was obvious this was about you and he was so desperate he would do anything to get you back.

''I know where your precious (Y/N) is being held and I know who her captors are.'' Maury said and Jake was sure the man was smiling.

''… What do you want in return?''

''Straight to the point? I liked. No big deal, I want you to agree to do a simple job for me in exchange for getting your (Y/N) back. Sounds fair to me.''

''What kind of work?'' Jake questioned suspiciously.

''You'll find out when the time comes. Do you accept?'' Jake mumbled a drawling ''yes''. ''Very good. Now pay attention…''

Jake knew where you were and had informed Holt that he had started to prepare to break in. He was asked how he got to know where you were, but Jake lied saying that the drug dealer's criminal record had hidden and useful information.

Nobody questioned him. They didn't believe it, of course, but Jake's look of despair and hatred was so great that they didn't dare question it further.

The focus was on bringing (Y/N) back. All that mattered now was her and he was willing to do anything to get her back.

[…]

The cops were in place and the SWAT team was preparing to break into the warehouse where (Y/N) was apparently being held. They were preparing for an ambush. It's always good to be prepared for anything and Holt had his detectives ready in case something goes wrong. It was a dangerous rescue mission, but everyone would do their best to retrieve (Y/N).

''We're going to count to 10 and go inside. Get ready.'' Holt said, getting into position.

''Right. Let's get on with it.'' Rosa grumbled and grabbed her gun, bracing herself for the chaos that could ensue.

''1, 2, 3…'' Holt started counting and everyone got into their agreed positions. Jake was by the door with one of the SWAT guys and he was shaking with anxiety and rage. ''…9, 10!''

The door was broken down and the police entered the warehouse. They were prepared for a firefight or something, but none of it came. They looked around and Jake sobbed when he saw you. You were tied to a chair, gagged and looking at them in fear and relief.

''Take a look around.'' Holt commanded and the others obeyed. Jake and he came running to you, pulling the ropes and gag out of your mouth.

As soon as you were released, you found yourself hugged tightly by Jake, who began to shed tears of relief onto your shoulder. ''You're alive…'' He sobbed and looked at your bruised face. Yours lip was a little swollen and there were small cuts on your cheek. Jake kissed your cheek gently, not wanting to aggravate any injuries.

Jake didn't let go of you for the next few minutes, clinging to you and whimpering. You didn't let go either. Finally relieved to see him again. Not when you feared you might never see him again and just the thought of it made you grip tighter.

A team of paramedics arrived to assess you and you were taken to the ambulance, where they treated you. Jake, of course, didn't leave your side, eyeing the paramedics suspiciously. You squeezed his hand gently and he kissed your head.

''I was so scared…'' Jake muttered, squeezing her hand tightly.

''Me too…'' You said, lightly stroking Jake's hand with your loose fingers.

''I'm never going to let you out of my sight again, understand?'' He was scared, very afraid that something like that would happen again and he wouldn't let it. He would hunt down your captors and kill them one by one. You would never be taken from him again.

''I love you.'' He uttered and you smiled, he bent down and placed a light kiss on your lips, very carefully to not hurt you.

''I love you too, you idiot.'' You laughed and laid your head against his shoulder as Jake sat down next to you.

Jake finally felt calm, you were where you belonged, beside him. He would find the bastards who hurt you and they would regret ever being born. He kissed your forehead gently. You were everything to him.

He knew he had to keep his end of the bargain, but he'd think about that later. You were more important and he would deal with the consequences later.

''I won't let anyone hurt you again.'' Jake swore, looking into your eyes deeply and you knew he wasn't lying.

It was a promise. An oath.

[nartml]

Aha. I can further analyse why Hiccup and Toothless', and subsequently the humans and the dragons', separation bothers me so much.

It indirectly feeds into the "good together, just as good apart" narrative.

A narrative that I really don't like.

In no important relationship, platonic or romantic, should you be good together, just as good apart. (At least I don't think so, anyway.)

The people closest to you, the people you most love, should bring out the best in you, and vice versa.

You should bring out the best in each other, thus making you better together.

A mutually beneficial thing. How had Ruffnut and Tuffnut put it? A symbiotic relationship.

Look at Amy and Jake from B99. They are good individually. But together? Amy brings out Jake's maturity, Jake brings out Amy's desire to loosen up once in a while. Amy is calmer and less uptight around Jake, and Jake is more put together and serious around Amy.

Amy sees the value in fun and play, Jake sees the value in maturity and seriousness. But without fundamentally changing one another. Without expecting the other to suddenly become a different person.

A perfect example of good apart, better together.

And Hiccup and Toothless? Good apart, better together.

Same exact tune for humans and dragons.

I mean, come on, people, look at HTTYD and especially HTTYD 2. That's their whole point.

[iprefervillains]

Alright, guys, I was thinking about the hangster break up, and my brain decided to remind me of the Ponds' divorce scene in Doctor Who. This is going to be quite long, but for the sake of really good angst with a happy ending, bear with me.

Now for the background info:

The Ponds, aka Amy and Rory, nearly got divorced because Amy found out that she couldn't have children after something happened earlier in the show. The whovians will know what I'm talking about. She then decided to kick Rory out without an explanation, but another crisis with the Doctor forced a confrontation. They were about to be transformed into robots, but having strong emotions or a certain device could stop the transformation. They had only one device, which led to the following scene that broke my heart and got stuck in my brain.

If you can't watch it, which would be a shame because the scene is incredible, I put the script here:

Now imagine this as hangster. Instead of Maverick, Jake got picked as dagger one and took the missile meant for Bradley even though they had been broken up for years.

And instead of finding the F14 straight away, they first encountered a single seater. This leads to Jake telling Bradley to take the plane just like Rory told Amy to take the Device.

"Okay. Rooster, look at me. I'm going to be logical. Cold and logical, okay? For both of our sakes - for both of us - You are going to climb in the plane and fly back to the carrier."

"What? But then you will be here stuck alone. How is that better?"

"It's better because then you will have a chance to return to the carrier, and I can die happily from the wound in my side, knowing you've safely made it home."

"Sorry, what the fuck Jake?"

"Bradley, basic fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you ever loved me. Which, today, is good news because it might just save your life."

"How can you say that?"

"I asked you to marry me, I took a missile for you even after you tore my heart to shreds. Saying it 'cos it's true, and since you know it's true, climb in the plane."

[Cue Bradley pushing Jake, because I'm not a fan of slapping.]

"Don't you dare say that to me. Don't you ever dare!!"

"Bradley, you left me after I proposed to you!"

"You deserved a perfect partner. Someone who could tell you everything about themself and introduce you to their family. Someone ready to settle down and commit to the life you wanted for yourself. I couldn't even tell you about my dead parents or Mav. I couldn't even show or tell you how much I love you because I was so afraid that if I let myself properly have you, you'd be torn from me like every other person I ever loved."

"Bradley..."

"Don't you dare talk to me about proposing - because that is nothing Jake, nothing... compared to giving you up."

"Get in the damn plane, Bradshaw!"

"No, there has to be another way. We will either leave here together or not at all."

Then, they thankfully find the F14 and manage to fly back to the carrier.

Instead of the handshake scene:

"Did you mean it?"

"Jake, what?"

"When you said back then you couldn't show me how much you love me. Did you meant to use "love" instead of "loved"?"

"I-, it's-. ..."

"Please, just tell me yes or no?"

"Yes."

"And do you think you'd be able to properly let yourself have me now?"

"Yes."

"And if I would get down on my knee and ask you to marry me, would you stay and say yes this time?"

"Yes, Jake. Definitely!"

"Good!" [Tugging him down for a kiss (read: make out)]

"Just so we are on the same page. Was this a real proposal or more like you telling me that you will propose again in the future?"

"Considering that we still have some more talking to do, it was more a promise for the future."

"Ok, good. The wound on your side started bleeding again, and medical isn't really the place where I want to celebrate our engagement."

"Besides I don't have your engagement ring with me right now. It's still back in the barracks. "

"Hold on, you've kept it? All this time?"

"Yeah."

"God, you are incredible, Jake Seresin. I love you."

"I love you too, Bradley Bradshaw."

[idontplaytrack]

“bye, softie jr.”

Rosa Diaz x teen daughter! reader

warnings: the squad being their usual chaotic selves & rosa being an (over) protective mama. (i love rosa being soft, lol)

in which, the 99 finally meets y/n. unplanned.

continuation to “you’re a softie”

You always wondered how it was possible that no one on the squad’s somehow run into you while you were out with Rosa. Your Mom’s somehow never run into her colleagues outside of work, while she was with you, at least. Due to your closeness in age, the two of you have been mistaken for siblings on many occasions. And on this fine day, you had a first date gone…bad and needed keys to get home. But you left them at home since you left home the same time as Rosa that day to go to school. After school let out at 2:30, you went to lunch with Amelia from your Social Studies class. She was nice, and you liked her- but at the end of the lunch, you’ve come to realise you didn’t actually like her the way you thought you did. Being a 15-minute walk away from the precinct, you decided to use the fact that you needed the house keys as an excuse to mess with her. She wasn’t against you meeting them, thus you your decision to go to the 9-9. Stepping out of the elevator and entering the bullpen, you headed straight for Rosa’s desk barely having to look where you were going.

“Been expecting you. How was the date?”

“Fine, but that was also the last.” You told her and she pulls the one earbud you had in, off. Just for the heck of it.

“Why? Did they do anything-”

“No, I just don’t really vibe with her at all, that’s all. I’m perfectly fine.” You assured.

“Good.”

“I need your keys. Forgot to grab mine since we left together this morning.”

You could feel the eyes on you but you tried to ignore them.

“Here.” She opens up her drawer to get them, “Be home when I’m home. Otherwise, I can’t get in.”

“Of course.” You stifled a laugh, “What time do you clock out?”

“From the looks of it, 6:30? Maybe 7. I’ll pick up dinner on the way, how’s that?”

“That’s great.” You gave her a big smile on purpose just to see how she’d react.

“Hey, Rosa.” Amy says as she walked by you, “Wait—” She stops in her tracks and turned on her heels to take a good look. By now, everyone Rosa worked with was watching. Amy was the last one.

“Who’s this, Roro?” Charles asked.

“Call me that again and I’ll burn your sourdough starter to a crisp.” Rosa threatened. You let a laugh slip- you simply couldn’t take her seriously. She wasn’t like this with you at all- this was an act.

“She looks like she could be your sister.” Terry noted.

“Nope.” Rosa answered, “Try again.” You and Rosa shared a glance. Truthfully, the answer could not have been more obvious if it weren’t for the close age gap. You were pretty much a spitting image of your Mother— thank goodness.

“No way- it can’t be.” Jake broke the silence. Amy analysed Rosa’s face then yours, noting that the two of you had your arms crossed the same, with the same expressions on your face. Even the way you were dressed- heavily influenced by Rosa’s style. A light bulb went off in her mind.

“Rosa, I cannot believe this- you have a teenage daughter and this is first time we’re meeting her?!”

Terry’s mouthful of yogurt felt like it got caught in his throat, Charles nearly spilled his coffee all over himself, Jake’s bag of gummies and jellybeans fell from his hand and hilariously scattered all over the floor. Hitchcock and Scully? As clueless as ever. Solely focused on their bags of chips. Oh, and Gina who immediately snapped a photo of you two side by side. There was pin drop silence in the bullpen up until Holt came out to check on his squad. “Why is it so quiet? This is extremely unlike your usual selves.” He remarked, then he quickly spotted an unfamiliar person— you standing by Rosa’s desk. Now, it got awkward.

“They’ve just met my daughter and they’re shocked.” Rosa informs him.

“I see.” He nodded emotionlessly, “Nice to meet you, y/n.”

“Captain Holt. Likewise.” You gave him a polite smile.

“Everybody, get back to work.” He ordered. The buzz continues. “Will you guys wait until I’ve at least left the precinct to talk about me?” You sassed.

“How old are you?” Jake asked.

“17.”

“Damn. Respect, Rosa.” Jake’s eyes widened, “You were 18?!”

“Okay, that’s it. You guys already know too much.” Rosa decided, “No more questions. y/n, go home.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You joked.

“Stop it.” She said back, acting cracking a smile.

“Boy, I haven’t seen you this close to smiling since never.” Jake commented.

“I heard you had a date? Who’s the lucky guy?” Boyle asks.

“Charles, right?” You cleared your throat, “I’m a lesbian, so there was no guy.”

“Oh. I- I am so sorry.” He stutters.

“Why are you afraid of a 17-year old?” Rosa snorted.

“Why isn’t she afraid of you?” Charles retorted before he even thought it through.

“I am loving this.” Gina sighs.

“Why would she need to be? We’re practically best friends.” She shrugged. Now, they were even more curious about how Rosa was like outside of work. “Okay, you need to get home.”

“I’m going, I’m going. I know.” You sigh, throwing your hands up in mock defeat, “You’ll pick up my prescription?”

“I remember, y/n, yes.”

The squad says bye to you as you turned to leave. In retrospect, you could’ve easily passed some time at the nearby library and did some work but you weren’t going to pass up the opportunity to meet her friends officially.

“Byeee, softie��junior.” Jake called out, causing you to laugh as you hit the elevator button.

[popculturebuffet]

Top 12 Captain Holt Plots (B99): RIP Andre Braugher

Andre Braugher 1962-2023

So as if this year hadn't piled enough death on me.. yesterday Andre Braugher of Brooklyn 99 fame died. Braugher was a comedic genius, great at drama and it's sad to see him go just as his career was having one hell of a second act.

Figuring out how to honor Andre.. was tough. I didn't have time for a full review of some of his best episodes, a story arc or the normal things i'd do, and a list of just Holt's best moments wouldn't really portray the characters depth. Don't get me wrong there's a LOT of hilarious little holt moments from "Hot damn!" to "Bam had it both ways" but it just didn't do the character justice. Holt was a character funny for his stoicism, his outburst of emotion clashing with that, and his chemistry with just about everyone on cast.

So I found a comprimise, something small I could do before my two bigger reviews this week, but something that still pays full service to what a great character Raymond Holt was... and how much of it was Braugher's amazing comedic timing and great dramatic talent. Ray MIGHT of existed without Captain Holt, but he wouldn't of been such a JOY to watch every time if it weren't for Braugher.

So I picked my 12 faviorite plots starring Captain Holt. Husband, Captain, Robot. Meeep Morp.

12. VINDICATTTTITOOOOOONNNN (Episode: Monster in the Closet)

Look a lot of this subplot making it here is this moment, from the fist pump to just how Braugher plays the word like an instrument, but the plot itself is comedy gold: Rosa Diaz, bisexual icon, is having a rush wedding to absentee boyfriend and human disaster Adrian Pimento, who returned after months in hiding the way anyone having a normal one does: by hiding in a child's closet.

Naturally this wedding didn't end up happening.. but it did bring us one of Holt's best running gags: his love of balloon arches. It's something that makes perfect character sense: he's a perfectionist, he loves art, and it's just weird enough to still be funny while not so weird you can't understand why Holt would be doing this. Holt pettily popping the ballons when crticized and going into a creative tailspin over minor critcisims is just gold and the payoff, him getting his VINDIIIICAAAATTTIOOOONNNNNN is both sweet.. and purespun gold from the highest of heavens.

11. The Disco Strangler Returns (He Said She Said) One of the serious episodes of the series, dealing with Amy and Jake tackling a sexual harassment case and Amy revealing her own assault, was paired with one of the series silliest, funnest b-plots.

This one COULD be here just on the strength of "And you'll here it again" but has way more to offer as Holt chases down his former nemesis the Disco Strangler after he seemingly dies, convinced he's alive while Terry and Boyle are convinced he just can't accept his enemey's death. Turns out their wrong though as the Strangler is alive, worked his groovy voodoo on a way younger woman and has one of the funniest scenes in the show as Holt TRIES to have a big action hero final talk with his nemisis.. only for the man to be largely deaf. It's a gag that shoudln't work but Baugher's commitment to the bit carries it, as does the reality of the strangler being so old and feeble hitting Raymond about his own mortality.

10. The Heists (Various Episodes)

Yeah this one's a bit of a cheat as it was hard to pick just one Heist Plot: After the first two their largely ensemble pieces. But it'd also be criminal to ignore just how SERIOUS Holt takes the annual halloween heists, from training his dog for them, to calling a fake replacement for Cheddar (the goodest of boys) "This bitch?", the Heists brought out the pettiest, hammiest parts of holt and the best of Braugher's comedey from threatning to slit his two protege's "from head to anus and wear them as a jacket", to his flight of the valkyries entrance, Holt was always a delight.

9. Pie (Two Turkey's) The shows final thanksgiving gave us it's best thanksgiving plot, and a nice spotlight on Holt's relationship with his Husband , kevin. Holt's queerness was baked into the character, being why it took him so long to climb the latter and why Kevin takes ab it to warm up to his new coworkers, as most of Ray's past coworkers were racist, homophobic or both. Holt and Kevin were just as weirdly stoic, with Mark Evan Jackson having great chemistry with Braugher.

The couple also just had their own weird things such as getting a special pie every year to get a pie for thanksgiving and finding the hours spent in dead silence on the trip deeply romantic.

Said pie is also what sets off the plot as it goes missing and Holt blames the presicnt and goes into full petty holt mode, one of the best kinds of holt. HOlt isn't the only star here as near constant fuckups and wallpaper Hitchcock and Scully prove useful for once as Holt investigates Rosa, Terry and Boyle. We get great moments from the three too as Boyle calls his own son "a basic bitch" and Rosa reveals an embarassing minons t-shirt as she rebonds with her family post jailtime.

Holt interogating everyone and going full ham would be enough to land it here.. but what elevates it to this slot is the ending: Holt finds out the culprit was Kevin, who hates the pie but would miss the drive. HOlt suggests simply.. taking the drive for fun and Kevin is super horny for that. It's adorable, sweet and a great capper to one of the shows best subplots.

8. Let's Never Talk About Anything (Stakeout)

This is a quick one as it's mostly on the comedy but it's a scenario that's both deeply, deeply funny, and involves one of the shows best duos: Rosa, the stoic bicon herself, and Holt. Both being stoic queer persons, they naturally get along great. And of course it's natural Rosa ends up the one in a very awkward situation through almost no fault of her own: Holt brings his cardboard standee of a human being Nephew named Marcus, whose staying with him for some reason never elaborated upon because Marcus is here for one thing: to date rosa and have one of the best awkward morning afters EVER: He tries to sneak rosa out.. only for Holt and Kevin to naturally both be up, and his using her full name and mild confusion are just.. great. The wrap up, that Rosa and Holt are both FINE not talking about this or anything ever, is great. The followup plot with the two forced into a dinner is fine, but this first interaction and the two being on the same stoic page is gold.

7. Apparently That's a Trigger For Me (The Box)

This is another one that has a strong moment couched in, but really the Box is just a very strong episode, a tense 22 minutes as Jake and Holt team up to try and get a confession out of a local dentist played by sexiest man alive Sterling K Brown, who does great getting under their skin, including with said doctor bit as Docterates are a bit of a trigger for Holt. the episodes fantastic chess match between our faviorite duo and Brown is just fun to watch and it's only this low because Jake gets the big finale. But Holt's oh damns are still vital. As is his over the top reservation cancelation. God bless this man. I miss you andre.

6. They never actually said No (Full Boyle)

Like, really, ALL of these there's a classic gag couched in here as Holt explains how he formed his black gay and lesbian police orginzation: he pitched it to his fellow entirely white and certainly straight cops who laughed their asses off.. then went ahead and got the funds since they were too busy being jackassses to say no. Dark, hilarious, and perfectly showing just how much shit holt's been through trying to get here.

And that background helps shape this plot which while not laugh FREE is mostly anchored on the good Captain's character journey: when a younger officer plans to challenge holt for predsency, Holt, as you'd expect digs in and refuses. He's not at full ham yet, but he's still fully willing to fight tooth and nail for this, that after all he had to go just to make this group, brian wouldn't understand

It's Gina of all characters who points out that's why he made the group. So younger officers wouldn't have to go through that. Brian has new ideas to genuinely improve and open up the doors for more queer black officers, and Holt recognizes that and steps aside.. though if he screws up he will impeach him. He's happy for him but he will impeach him.

5. I've Glanced At His Work Satchel (The Honeypot)

This episode's a-plot is just one long hilaroius bit of holt deadpanning as he gets a new assitant to replace Gina.. only to find the guy flirting with him. Having his tie slightly ajar and inviting him to a barrel museum counts as flirting in Holt's book. Turns out Gordon is a spy for our heroes latest nemisiss, corrupt comissioner kelly, and this brings this plot to ahead as finding out, and getting evidence hw as actively spying on them finally gets rid of the old bastard. It's a nice payoff.. but it's really here because Holt declaring a barrel museum an erotically charged atmosphere is classic deadpan holt. If you want premium deadpan holt, this is your episode.

4. Terry Come Here and Dangle Me Off the Edge of this Building (Bad Beat)

This episode is one of my faviorites, having both a lot of rich character stuff for holt.. and a lot of funny deadpan for holt.

This ep reawakens something that's mostly come up previously as a joke: holt had a serious gambling addiction in his past and when Jake and Terry come to him for help with a poker case, Holt's forced to join in as the two have obvious tells.

Holt's relapse is a nice mix of hilaroius and deeply troubling: he's betting on childrenj's gymnastics (No jayla don't drop the baton!) runs up to the roof when the pagent's cut off and as seen above wants Terry to dangle him over a roof.. Braugher does a hell of a job threading a very narrow needle here: Hotl's antics are funny, but still jarring enough to be worrying.. .and the laughter stop when Jake pulls the one card he has... he'll tell kevin, an idea alone that DEVISTATES holt as he can't put kevin through that again.

Unfortunately it's not THAT easy as Holt goes rogue.. then nearly gets captured, having to use improper grammar and admitting he needs help. Ther'es no easy answers here and while granted Holt's addiction never comes up again.. it's a sign addiction dosen't go away easily and everyone needs help.

3. The System (Moo Moo) Props to Brooklyn 99 as depsite being a cop show, it pointed out many a problem in the NYPD and police in general long before George Floyd made it too loud to ignore for us white dumbasses.

This episode is the main showcase of that: while the show had plenty of corrupt cops for our heroes to foil, Moo Moo shows the system ITSELF is broken and ther'es no easy answer to fix it.

The setup is simple, heartbreakingly common, and painful: Terry goes out at night in his nice neighborhood looking for one of his daughters "moo moo", her faviorite toy.. only to get accosted by a police officer, with only the fact he IS an officer making this end well.

Terry does try to handle this peacefully, inviting the guy to lunch, and trying to explain why racial profiling him like that was fucking awful. The officer dosen't listen, only thinks he was wrong because Terry is also a cop, and is generally a dick.

This leaves terry, who has a promotion on the table, with a fairly simple path: report the son of a bitch. Except .. HOlt dosne't send it in. Holt wants Terry to stay quiet, so Terry can get promoted. it's one of the oldest fights in a broken system: Should you make noise and take care of something horrible immdeitly, or stay quite and let harm go on so you can do more good later. The latter is clearly Holt's go to not out of corruption but out of survival: as a black gay cop, he had no real allies for the longest time, and thus had to simply keep his nose to the ground and work his way up to where he had real power. Terry on the other hand, argues, rightly that he dosen't want another man like him to go through this, one without a badger and that his career... simply isn't worth more innocnet black men being arrested falsely. There isn't an easy resolution with both acknowlding each others point: Holt supports terry and gets the guy fired, but Terry is passed over impliclty as a result and admits he could've impacted more change. Terry still did the right thing.. but it wasn't the easy thing. Police.. .simply aren't set up to properly police themselves and change is needed and it was noble of b99 to point that out without going over the top with it.

2. BOONNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE (The Skyfire Cycle)

Okay look while this plot is good on it's own (I"m teaching father the math!) it's up this high ENTIRELY due to the Bone Scene. You've seen it, i've seeen it, it's the reason this plot goes from "pretty good" with Rosa seeing through holt's math problem to his marital issues and need to get laid, and Amy trying hard to impress her dads and acting lik ea grossed out child anytime holt's sex life comes up. This bit belongs to braugher.. but you NEED Beatriz and Fumero to set it up so perfectly and react so great to it.

Rosa being rosa just comes out and says "You just need to bone" and holt LOOOSES IT.

Every line from that moment is pure poetry from Braugher's mouth, from his squeaky "what'dyousay" to his shakesperean "hooooowww dare you detective diaz I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER." and of course his glorious shouts of BONE and BONNNNENEEEEE while he VIBRATES ON HIS DOORFRAME. His quick yups in the resolution are the cheery on top of the greatest comedy sundae ever conducted by man. Sports. This subplot hinges on one joke.. but when it's the series best joke, it's REALLY hard to argue. It's only not #1.. because our #1 is CRAMMED with jokes near this level.

Ding Dong The Wuntch Is Dead (Ding Dong)

Ding Dong is one of my faviorite episodes of B99. Even it's subplot's grown on me with Terry bending a quarter in mid air and the strawberry basket. But let's face it while the subplot is.. kay, it's the main event that makes it a classic and when I do the inevetible top 12 list, possibly for feburary, this episode is almost guarnateed a spot for damn good reason.

If your wondering why I haven't brought up Holt's legendary rivarly with Madeline Wuntch it's because while their all fucking gold, their teid into larger plots. And while this one kinda is, with Wuntch's death wrapping up Holt's time as a patrol officer, it's really just there to sned the character off and give us one of the funniest episodes in human history.

Everything about Holt's petty rivarly with Wuntch that makes it one of the best thigns in the show is on display here and the shock I had to the opening of ding dong was palpable: Holt's making his usual jabs, calling her a korean tolilet ghost (and having gone to korea just to find new monsters to call her).. before Terry, trying and failing to head this off drops the bomb: Wuntch is dead. Naturally Holt dosen't buy it, assuming we'd hear the children singing (all the childrne everywhere), and having to see her body for himself. Given their rivarly and what an elaborate scheme Wuntch left FOR her funeral, it's not hard to see why.

What follows is the very best of petty holt from the glory that is BAGEL, BAGEL, to his assumption ET is a monster because "he caused quite a comotion), Baugher is at his PEAK this episode comedically, handeling his Rival's death with joy and too many lines to count, with Amy's horror and Rosa's unabashed joy at his pettiness being perfect bounce off points.

Add in comedy legend Micheal Mcdonald as Wuntch's nephew playing her rival, a fake funeral and an attempted funmeral full of balloon arches and bright pastels and you have one of the greatest peices of televesion comedy ever. Rest in peace Andre.... your dearly missed.

[specialagentlokitty]

Amy Santiago x sibling!reader - always be your family

Hi! Can I request an imagine where Amy’s sibling comes out as asexual to her? - Anon💜

Knowing and finding out who you are is a king and tiring process, throughout life everything is changing, from the way you look, dress, sound, what you like and dislike.

It all changes.

But for you there was one thing that never changed.

The fact you were asexual.

You had known about it for a while now, but you hadn’t told anyone, not even your best friend let alone your family.

There was enough stress and fighting to be the favourite or golden child of your family, and that you weren’t really interested in, but it didn’t make it any easier.

And to be honest you weren’t that close to your family, aside from Amy you didn’t talk to the much.

But Amy was different.

She was your favourite sister, the one who had always been there for you no matter what and helped you with everything.

And you wanted to tell her, but you weren’t sure how to bring it up to her or what her reaction would be.

“Do you think I’d be a good mom?”

You glanced up from your dinner to look at your sister, nodding your head.

“Of course Ames, you’d make the best mom, you’re really caring and understanding.”

She smiled a little.

“I’m just so nervous about having a baby, Jake and I have been trying but so far nothing.” She sighed.

“Sometimes it takes time, you just need to stop stressing yourself out Amy, take a breath, and think about all the options you have, you can see a doctor about this.”

“I’ve thought about that and done some research, it’s so expensive.”

You nodded your head a little.

“I know a woman who might be able to help, she’s a doctor at a nearby hospital and specialises in this stuff.”

Amy smiled softly at you.

“Thank you so much. Have you thought about having kids?”

You shrugged a little.

“I have, but adoption is really expensive and I can’t afford it right now, I’m thinking of fostering though.”

“Oh, can you not have kids?” Amy asked gently.

You blinked a little in confusion.

“I probably can.”

“You don’t want your own?”

Sighing, you pushed your plate away and took a sip from your drink as you avoided her gaze.

“It’s not that simple…” you mumbled.

“(Y/N)? What is it? You can talk to me you know this.”

“I know it’s just… I don’t know if you’d understand it…”

“Try me.”

You glanced at her before turning away.

“I’m not.. I don’t have an interest in the whole sleeping with people thing, like it doesn’t appeal to me, and I don’t feel the need for it, and it’s kind of gross not going to lie.”

Amy went quiet and you looked at her nervously.

You weren’t sure what you were waiting for.

Maybe for her to blow up. Anger. Yelling. Cursing. Telling you how it wasn’t natural or you don’t know if you’d like it until you tried it.

“So you’re asexual?”

You nodded a little.

“That’s great! That’s amazing! You be who you are and don’t let anyone change that!” She beamed.

You looked at her completely shocked.

“So you.. you don’t think I’m weird or wrong or hate me?”

“Of course not! There’s nothing wrong with it, and you’re not hurting anybody are you? So it’s fine, it’s amazing! I want to know everything about what it’s like for you because I know it’s different for everybody.”

You smiled.

“Really?”

Amy got up, walking to your fridge she pulled out some dessert and walked back over to you.

“Tell me everything.”

You beamed brightly, diving straight into it all for her and Amy grinned from ear to ear as she listened to you.

She wasn’t going to tell another soul about this, not unless you wanted her to.

This was your secret, and now it’s hers as well, and she wanted to reassure you that no matter what you were always going to be her family and she was always going to love you

[maretinelli]

TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART

Jake Peralta X fem!reader

Summary: In which Jake and y/n make a bet on who can arrest the most criminals and y/n has to fulfill the agreement at the end of the shift.

Words: 1.8K+

Warnings: I don't think anything has as much impact as the other, drinks and criminals I think. But not explicit.

Author: First of all, English is not my language, I apologize for any mistakes that may be in the story. And second, I am loving writing for it, and I still have many ideas.

Y/s: Surname

MASTERLIST

Jake and Y/n had been best friends since they were little. They and Gina grew up together in the same neighborhood and practically every weekend they spent at Jake's grandmother's house playing with board games or just listening to Gina talk about how good she would be if she were a Michael Jackson dancer.

Years passed and the three of them worked together at the same police station. Jake and Y/n became more than just friends, they were recently in the phase between hookups and boyfriends. No one knew what they were, but what they had made them both comfortable.

When the year began, Jake and the detective made a bet to see who could arrest the most criminals.

If Y/n won, Jake would have to change desks at the police station—hers was across from Scully's and near the bathroom, definitely terrible—and sell his Mustang.

And if Jake won the bet, Y/n would have to dress up as Bonnie Tyler and perform Total Eclipse of the Heart in the place Jake chose.

In short, neither agreement favored either other, which made them more competitive.

Today, officially after their turn, the bet would end and one of them would have to fulfill the agreement.

"Good morning squad. This morning, I'm going to assign you some work to be done this week. Boyle, you'll be on Mary Lauren's case, the homicide case. Rosa will be on Santiago's case on Jack Rubens."

"That's right, the second one is already off to a good start." Rosa lets out a sideways smile, while she had her feet on the table and Amy was clapping silently.

"Jake and Y/n, you worked together today on the Ryan investigation-" Terry doesn't finish speaking.

"NO!!" Peralta and Y/s scream together, making the squad jump and they look at each other.

"What do you mean, no? You love working together and it always works." The sergeant asks.

"Today their bet ends, about who can arrest the most criminals in a total of 6 months. And they are tied" Charles says and points to the board on the wall and everyone looks.

Detective Y/s: 75

Detective Peralta: 75.5

"Why seventy-five and a half?" Sergeant asks.

"It's just that my last criminal was a dwarf," Jake says smiling and the squad shakes their heads holding back laughter. "High five!!"

An excited Charles does a Hi-five with Peralta.

"This is cheating" y/n questions, sitting next to Rosa.

"You say that because you've never caught a mini man, honey." Jake turns and smiles at the woman.

"Okay, fine. Santiago and Y/s are together on Jack's case and their respective cases. Peralta and Diaz on Diana Fox's case."

"Damn, I wanted Jack's case," Rosa grumbles. "I was rooting for Y/n to lose, but now I want Jake to sell that Mustang, just so I can lose the coolest case in the precinct."

"Hey!!" Y/n shouts indignantly at Diaz.

"That's it for now, dismissed" Sergeant says and the people start to leave the room.

"Ready to lose, my honey?" Jake comes closer to Y/n, making her roll her eyes and smile.

"At first, 'honey candy' sounded strange"

"Yeah, really. I only realized it after it came out of my mouth." Jake grimaces.

"And second, you're the one who's going to sell the Mustang and trade tables with me."

Jake laughs before grabbing his jacket and leaving the police station with Rosa.

"You're the one who thinks, my dear. You're the one who thinks." He smiles crookedly and leaves.

Y/n shakes her head and sits down next to Amy's desk so they can work.

"What's going on between you two? I know you already said you hooked up, but what's up?"

Y/n smiles, going through the paperwork.

"I don't know, we're just...going with the flow. We go out, we meet up. But there's nothing officially imposed."

"Did you guys have sex?" Amy whispers to Y/N.

The detective looks up.

"AMY!!"

"Sorry, sorry. My curiosity got the better of me," she smiled, looking at the computer.

They are quiet for a while.

"...yes..." Y/n responds softly before standing up and grabbing more papers about the case.

"OH, I KNEW IT!!" Amy screams and everyone in the station looks at her. "I'm sorry..."

•••••••••••••••

"I had no idea it took the boys two months to locate him and we caught him on the first day of the case. Man, we're awesome" Amy says proudly of them and pats y/n on the shoulder, who smiles.

"Girl power," Y/n says, as they leave the criminal in custody. "Now take a good look, Detective Y/s 76, and Jake Peralta 75."

"75.5" Gina yells from her desk.

"That's it, whatever. But he's still behind" Y/n smiles evilly and focuses on more cases, so she could arrest more criminals in a day than Jake.

It doesn't take long for Jake to enter the enclosure with Diaz. He was smiling too much.

"Detective y/n?!"

She turns around and is shocked.

"I see the board has turned against me. However, Jake here managed to arrest five criminals at once. Who's the stud now?" Jake approaches the board and puts down 80.5.

"You're kidding, right? Rosa!!"

"I have nothing to do with this. What's worse is that the idiot over there managed to arrest those five at once." Diaz points to the criminals who were now being temporarily arrested at the police station.

Y/n makes a face and Jake smiles, walking past her and kissing the woman's cheek.

Hours passed and the end of the shift was coming to an end. The score was 82.5 for Jake and 79 for Y/n.

The woman was on the streets chasing four criminals, who she located along with Amy.

"Fuck...we lost them" Y/n slaps her hand on her thigh and holsters her gun again.

"Hey, it's okay. We can locate them again, they're not that smart at hiding," Amy replies, while looking at Y/n furiously.

"That's not even the worst of it. It's already 7:15 and there are 15 minutes left until our shift ends and I have to spend another few years at the same table next to Scully." Y/n complains, walking to the police car.

"Oh no, really. The bet" Amy remembers and makes a face in Y/n's direction, as she gets into the passenger seat.

"Exactly. I'm sure Jake is already waiting for me at the police station with lots of jokes to play on me."

Amy holds back her laughter and looks forward.

It took about 10 minutes to get to the police station, and there was no way Y/n could turn the score around with 5 minutes left until the end of the shift and win the bet.

"God bless me and let's go" y/n sighs getting out of the car and turning the car key in her fingers.

Amy enters right after her and when they arrive on their floor, Jake had decorated the room with a giant poster that said 'Congratulations Loser' and a large photo of the detective.

Y/n enters the enclosure shaking her head and Jake had a horn in his right hand, confetti paper in the other and everyone in the squad was wearing party hats.

"You guys are kidding me" she looks at everyone.

Her heels clicked as she walked, and the bulletproof vest she wore beneath her badge around her neck made her even more attractive, making Jake hesitate to throw the confetti at her.

"Hey Jake...the confetti" Boyle whispers to his best friend.

"Oh yeah, true. She messed me up a bit" Jake agrees. "Congratulations loser" he yells and throws the confetti on top of y/n. Making her close her eyes and just accept the moment.

Peralta approaches the woman, coming face to face with her.

Y/n smiles sideways as he approaches.

"You really thought you were going to get away with this, didn't you?" Jake said seductively, as he put a party hat on her.

"Yeah," y/n smiles. "I really thought so, you funny guy."

"Do you guys need a room? Can we get out of here?" Diaz asks.

"Keep it to yourself" Jake points at Diaz and she smiles. "Charles!! The costume!"

"Oh no, not Bonnie Tyler."

"Oh yes, Bonnie Tyler yes!!" The squad exclaims happily.

"Amy, even you?" Y/n says indignantly.

"Sorry," she whispers, smiling.

After Y/n changed and became Bonnie, Jake took her to perform at the bar they all frequented and of course the squad went after her, to see Y/n pay off the bet.

"I'm hating this tight outfit," Y/n complains.

"Thank Gina, she lent it to you for your performance" Jake says making everyone except y/n laugh, while holding her hand to go down the stairs and get to the bar.

"Gina, then I hate you"

"Hate nothing, sweetie"

Arriving at the bar, everyone grabs their favorite drinks and sits at the table that was right in the center of the bar.

"If I curl up here, will Jake forget about the bet?"

"I don't think so." Boyle looks at Y/n who was crouched under the table.

"Attention everyone!!!" Jake yells in the center of the bar and everyone looks at him.

"You're kidding me" The detective mumbles and the squad looks at her smiling.

"My girlfriend lost a bet today and will have to sing Total Eclipse of the Heart dressed as Bonnie Tyler in front of you" Jake smiles and looks at Y/n, who was now standing smiling cynically.

"Girlfriend?" The squad asks doubtfully.

"Yeah. And before she sings, I wanted to make it official. Honey, come in the middle." Jake holds out his hand to her.

Y/n widens her eyes and smiles, not believing what he was about to propose.

"He's going to ask her out, with her dressed up as Bonnie Tyler?!! She looks just like Peralta" Amy says before taking a sip of her beer.

"He told me earlier. I can't wait for the proposal. I hope she's dressed up in that inflatable dinosaur costume." Diaz smirks and sips his drink too.

"Rosa, poor thing," Amy says, holding back a smile at the thought.

"My dear y/n, my childhood best friend and work partner. I could tell you so much here that you wouldn't have time to sing." He says kneeling down and they laugh, y/n rolls her eyes laughing. "My sweet girl, love of my life. Will you go out with me? Like this, dressed as Bonnie Tyler?"

Y/n laughed.

"I wanted to say no. But I love you too much for that. So yes, I will be your girlfriend dressed as Bonnie Tyler."

The crowd at the bar starts to scream in euphoria and Jake puts the ring on her finger, before pulling the detective into a passionate kiss.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, I've done my job. Let's hear our losing bet do her job. Speak up, my dear," Jake shouts, sitting down in the chair and looking at Y/N.

"First off, I'm telling you Jake will be sleeping on the couch for at least three weeks. And Gina, I hate those overalls."

With that, Y/n complies with what she agreed with Jake.

Author: Guys, I probably (I don't know) wrote Captain Holt's name wrong in the stories 🤣🤣 I ended up putting "Bolt", but I don't remember if I mention him here. If it's in the story, forgive me hahahaha.

[lenacosse]

Pretty girls

pairing: amy santiago x female reader

cw: alcohol, mentions of vomiting, angst, cheating?

word count: 1,632

summary: it’s your birthday and the squad surprise you, but what happens when amy gets too drunk and takes it too far? you were practically in love with her but you knew where you stood with her. (based on pretty girl by renee rap. also tempted to turn this into a mini story..)

════════════════

“Okay just let me put this blindfold on you.” Jake says putting a blindfold on you and leading you through a door.

You trip over his foot and can’t contain your laugh. “Jake this is a disaster just tell me where we’re going.”

“No can do (Y/N), anyways we’re here.”

Jake takes off your blindfold, and suddenly everyone jumps out yelling happy birthday. You can’t stop the jaw aching grin that plasters over your face, you scan the room, all your friends and colleagues are there. You had said you didn’t want to do anything for your birthday, it was your first one without your dad and naturally that pained you beyond explanation. But standing here you can only appreciate the love you feel.

“Thank you Jake.” You smile and hug him, you knew he was at least partially responsible for this.

“Alright shots!” Jake shouts, making the entire bar of your friends erupt to enthusiastic cheer.

You walk to the bar and you, Jake, Amy and Rosa throw back a few too many shots, but that was for tomorrow to regret.

“Happy birthday (Y/N).” Holt nods, you smile and return the nod. Holt may be way too professional but you appreciated him these last few months more than you could explain, and he knew that.

═════════════════

A few hours into the night most people were beyond drunk, especially Amy who really let herself go tonight. Currently she stands on the bar top pouting tequila into peoples mouths.

“(Y/N)! Your turn.” Amy winks, you roll your eyes and put your mouth in level with the tequila. It burns its way down your throat and into your stomach, lighting up your system with immediate warmth. You felt a buzz of pure energy around you tonight, you couldn’t explain how grateful you really were.

Even Terry is enjoying himself tonight, and of course Gina has started a chant to get him to take his shirt off. You didn’t exactly expect him to do it, but the screaming of Gina and a few other women told you that he in fact did.

“Hey,” you hear from behind you, you turn to see Rosa. You smile.

“Hey Rosa.” Amy had gotten down from the bar, or in other words the bartender forced her down. So you sat on the barstools, Rosa doing the same.

“Happy birthday or whatever.”

You put your hand to your heart. “Rosa Diaz are you turning soft?”

“Never.”

You both laugh and order a drink together.

“Jake did a good job it seems.” Rosa says, finishing off her drink.

“Yeah he really did, I know you helped him. So thank you, I needed this.”

Rosa nods, “well we couldn’t leave you in your apartment. Personally that’s my ideally birthday plans but clearly not yours.”

You both engage in a conversation, Rosa must’ve really been in high spirits to actually have a conversation. Usually it’s complete silence, but you wouldn’t complain Rosa was surprisingly fun to talk to. That was until Charles came over and started talking about him and Genevieve’s colourful sex life which had you suppressing a gag and swiftly moving tables.

You took a minute to take in the night, Holt smiling caught your attention. You couldn’t help but feel uplifted by this. You loved your squad more than anything, and to see that they do in fact love you just as much almost brought tears to your eyes. A permanent smile was set on your face as you watched the conversations and interactions between others, you got so lost in it you didn’t notice when everyone gathered around your table and Terry walked out with a lit birthday cake. The awful singing filled your ears, but you could tolerate it for now. You blew out your many many candles that were on the cake, you could tell it was home baked, it was slightly wonky and questionably iced. It was probably Gina that made it, but you loved it even with its imperfections.

“Don’t tell us your wish! It’ll jinx you.” Amy slurred.

“I won’t don’t worry.” You response, she just giggles at you.

“Who wants cake?!” Gina yells, just taking a chunk with her hand. Jake then of course goes and does the same, you just shrug and let them have at it, after you’ve taken your own handful that is. Terry and Jake sit beside you, chowing down on the cake.

“I think Gina burnt this.” Terry says, you laugh as you hear the crunch of his cake.

“No it’s just egg shells.” Jake chimes in.

“Isn’t that worse?” Your face screws up.

“Probably.” Shrugs Jake, as he takes his next handful of cake.

“Keep my spot I’m going to the bathroom,” you say to Jake and Terry before making your way to the bathroom.

You hear throwing up and knock on the stall door from where it’s coming from. “Everything okay?”

“No.” Groans Amy.

“Open the door.” You reply and she does, Amy is on her knees with her head in the toilet bowl. You kneels down behind her and hold her hair as she finishes.

“Thank you.” She sighs and sits back against the side of the cubicle, you sit opposite her.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” You reach into your bag and grab a half drank water bottle that’s been in there for god knows how long, you hand it to her and she happily drinks it.

“Having a good night?” Amy asks.

“Yeah it’s been nice,”

“Sorry for getting so drunk. I guess I was nervous for tonight.”

“Nervous? For what?”

Amy looks at you, her eyes lingering on yours. “I wanted everything to be perfect, for you.”

“I thought Jake planned this.”

“It was his idea but I done most of the planning.”

“Oh. Well it was perfect, thank you.”

“Of course. Anything for you.”

Your heart sinks a little as she says that, you felt like you had been punched in the gut. Anytime Amy gets drunk she’s all over you, every-time and you don’t blame her but it wasn’t the easiest thing to deal with considering you were practically in love with her.

“Are you okay if I leave?” You ask.

“No. Please stay.” Amy reaches to grab your hand.

“Okay. I’ll stay.”

She smiles and moves to sit beside you. She leans her head on your shoulder and you both sit on the sticky bathroom floor, you look at your hands. You try not to overthink the situation you’re in, but this was typical, the pretty girls want to kiss the pretty girls when drunk. But when sober they dodge the situation, and this is what Amy is best at doing. Maybe she was confused.

“You know you’re my favourite right?”

“Your favourite?” You furrow your brows. “In what way.”

“Well I don’t know, you’re fun and you’re brave and you’re… hot.”

“Hot?”

“Yeah for a girl, you’re my girl crush.” She slurs. “If I was going to, you’d be the one I’d try.”

You hitch a breath as she says that, Amy may have flirted with you or been questionably close but never had she ever said anything like this. You can’t help but feel extremely conscious of her gaze on your face, you couldn’t face her so you stared ahead.

“What about Teddy?”

“He wouldn’t mind.”

You wanted to roll your eyes, you wanted to tell her that she was out of order. But you couldn’t help the smirk that appears on your face, you knew if you kissed her it would shatter you. But for the moment being you couldn’t think rationally.

“Why are you saying this?”

“Because I’ve thought of kissing you.” Amy says, she grabs your jaw and makes you look at her.

“Why? Do you think I’m just an experiment?”

“I never said that.” Amy moves closer, your faces barely an inch apart. Your stomach drops as you try to control yourself. You wanted to grab her face and kiss her, but that wasn’t a good idea.

You close your eyes as she moves even closer. She presses her lips to yours and you momentarily freeze, that is until you kiss her back. You put your hand on her thigh, her hand goes to your cheek. You both get caught up in a moment, your lipstick smearing across her now swollen lips. She pulls back and smiles.

“That was nice.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

“I wanted to.”

“But why?”

“Im not sure.”

Your heart breaks a little as she says that, you stupidly thought she was going to confess feelings. But that was a preposterous assumption. You look down as you fight off the tears you feel forming in your eyes.

“Im going to go.”

Before Amy could reply you leave the bathroom the tears were streaming down your face as you pushed through the crowd and exited the bar. You sat at the curb side with your head in your hands, you felt foolish and idiotic. Of course Amy would never like you back. But you couldn’t help feeling so damn used, being the token lesbian enabled this idea that you were simply a trial run. You had let yourself get hurt too many times because of this, Amy didn’t understand the damage of her actions and you definitely weren’t going to be the one to tell her. But you swore to yourself never again would this happen. You sit outside for close to an hour trying to rationalise your thoughts before going back inside, no one noticed your running mascara or puffy eyes. So you acted as if everything was great for the rest of the night. Then of course in the a.m the pretty girls act like it never happened and you go back to being Amy’s friend.

[miryum]

"The Crime Scene"

Summary: Detective!Jason Todd x detective!Reader based on Jake and Amy’s relationship

Series Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of violence (but nothing descriptive), guns and other police stuff

Series Masterlist

Y/n stood by an apartment door that was blocked off by police tape, scrolling through her pictures. She and Jason had officially been dating for three weeks, and in her opinion, it was going great. Two nights ago they had another date which consisted of going to the State Fair. Y/n had insisted that they get the famous cookies (“They’re a staple of the fair, Jaybird! It wouldn’t be the State Fair without diabetes!”), ride the giant slide (“Darling, I’m an adult male with a full-time job. As much as I wanna make you happy, I’m not riding- oh my god, oh my god … Okay, can we go again?”), and go on the skyride. The day had ended with a camera roll full of Jason and Y/n pictures, Y/n’s favourite being Jason going through the children’s faux farm where kids had to collect small packages and do chores akin to farming. They followed a dirt path and collected plastic apples, packets of corn, and swaths of real sheep wool. At the end, they cashed it all in for an ice cream sandwich. Luckily, Y/n had been able to snag a picture of Jason in a tiny apron and holding a wicker basket. His mouth was downturned, but he waited patiently in line for his promised ice cream sandwich. 

“Hey. Sorry I'm late,” Cass said and Y/n looked up. “The coffee guy was…”

Y/n choked on her spit. “Assaulting your head?  What is going on up there?” She referenced Cass’ hairstyle. Instead of her loose pixie-cut, Cass’ hair was ironed straight in a tight bob.

“Is it bad?” Cass grimaced.

“Before I answer that question,” Y/n said, “do you currently have a knife on you?”

“Yes, several.” 

“Then I love it.” Y/n gave her a thumbs up. “It really... I mean, it’s hair. You look like Edna from The Incredibles. I'm sorry, don't stab me.” She shielded her face with her arms.

“My girlfriend, Harper, is going through beauty school. This week they’re doing hairstyles,” Cass explained. “She’s practising on me.”

“You’re still with Harper?!” Y/n giggled. “Geez, I love her! Uh, don’t take this the wrong way, but… is she passing?”

“Honestly, I don't know.”

“Well, let's get into this murder.” Y/n rubbed her hands together gleefully. “I'm hoping it's a dope one.” She flung open the door and ducked under the police tape. When she saw the apartment, she froze and her eyes widened in appreciation. “Mamma Mia. That's a bloody pizza pie.” She was referring to the scene before her, the floor smeared with blood in long lines, evidence markers covering every other metre, and the photographer was just finishing up. 

“Detectives,” a detective named Al Kelly greeted them. “The Roomba was running when we got here. It smeared blood across the entire apartment.”

Cass smirked and turned to Y/n. “Is this dope enough for you?”

“It's a bloody robot, Cain.” Y/n grinned. “It's clearly a good start, but it's gonna take more than that to be certified as totally dope. Who's the victim?”

“Name is Steven Carlyle,” Kelly said.

Y/n hummed and shook her head. “Kind of a boring name. Not super dope.”

“He was a psychologist,” Kelly continued. 

“Okay, a sharp turn away from dopeness, but who found the body?”

“His boss called the cops when he didn't show up to work, so he was found by Officer Fields.”

“Officer Fields?” Y/n whined. “You are seriously undoping this. Do you have anything else for me? Al?”

“The apartment was locked from the inside?” Kelly offered, wondering what Y/n wanted to hear. 

“Mysterious. Dope,” Y/n nodded along. 

“The alarm system was still armed.”

“Dope, dope, dope, dope. So hard to solve.” Y/n’s mouth dropped open appreciatively.

Cass asked, “any surveillance cameras?”

“Oh, yeah. Tons of them, but we checked them. No one was seen going in or out. Whoever did this was a ghost.” Al handed Cass a case file and she started flitting through it.

“Yes!” Y/n exclaimed. “A ghost! I officially declare this case ‘dope!’” She turned towards the apartment. “I love the first walkthrough of a crime scene. It's kind of like arriving at summer camp, except the lake is full of blood and your bunk mate is dead.” She paused before ambling through the room. “I think I may be bad at metaphors.”

Cass held up an interview transcript. “So after Carlyle comes home from work, the only person who even approaches his doorway is a delivery guy?”

“Yeah, but he never enters the apartment.”

Y/n gasped and pointed to an evidence marker. “Hey, Cass. Check it out. Triple digies!” The evidence marker displayed one-hundred and eighteen. “There's so much evidence, we hit triple digies!”

“Cool,” Cass commented.

“Very cool indeed,” Y/n agreed. “But you know what's not cool? Carlyle ordered his dinner from House of Lettuce. There's no way this guy knew he was gonna die! No one would want lettuce as their last meal. For example, my last meal... is gonna be any candy I get my hands on,” she shoved her hands in her pockets and extracted a pack of M&Ms.

“You just keep those in your pocket?” Cass pushed back a smile.

“We face death every day,” Y/n pointed out. “I gotta be prepared to go out on my own terms.”

“I can't even think about eating,” Cass gagged. “It smells like Tim’s armpits after he’s refused to go home for four days and is running on coffee.”

“When have you smelled Tim’s armpits…” Y/n trailed off.

A heavy set man with a thick moustache saddled up to them and said, “that's the heat wave. It speeds up the body decomp. I guess you could say this mystery is straight outta decomp......ton.”

“No.” Y/n rejected the attempted pun. “Who are you?”

“Angel Rojas. I'm running CSI and forensics.” The man took a sip of his coffee. 

“If the heat is causing the smell, why don't we just turn on the air conditioning?” Y/n asked.

Rojas shook his head immediately. “That kind of air flow is gonna kick up all kinds of dust particles. That AC stays off, which means the odour in here? Only gonna get worse.” He dug a small clip out of his pocket and shoved it on his nose. “Pro tip: plug your noses. Had this bad boy custom-made to fit these sweet nosters.”

“Are you trying to abbreviate ‘nostrils’?” Y/n stared at Rojas, completely bamboozled.

“In CSI, we don't try. We do, son.”

“Son? I mean, transgender people are great, but that’s not how I identify, thank you very much.” She shot Rojas a pair of finger guns before saying, “well, it's been sort of okay meeting you. We're gonna turn our backs and ignore you now.” She and Cass loyally turned their backs. 

“Hey, Y/n/n,” Cass smirked. “You know what it's time for?”

“I sure do! Y/n and Cass’ first impressions!”

Cass pointed to blood patterns on the wall. “Cast-off pattern on the far wall suggests upward knife slices. Y/n?”

Y/n knelt down next to Carlyle’s body. “Wounds on the vic's back means he didn't see the killer coming. Oof. Cass, my dearest?”

Cass shook her head and continued, “laptop, wallet, keys all in plain sight. No sign of forced entry. Doesn't connote a robbery. L/n?”

“But it does connote that our killer was waiting for Carlyle in the apartment.” She hesitated and asked, “did I just use the word ‘connote’ correctly?”

“You did.”

Y/n grinned. “Great. I’m just super smart. Please text Tim and tell him to suck it and that I am amazing and he should love me. Also, tell Jason that I’m the smarter one in the relationship and that even though he reads all the time, I am superior.”

“I’m not doing that.”

A voice frantically cried from the hallway, “I'm his mother! Let me in!”

Y/n grimaced and her jaw tensed. “Rock-paper-scissors for who has to talk to the vic's mom.”

“Deal.” The pair slammed their fists into their open palms and Y/n glared at Cass as the former held up paper and Cass showed two fingers to indicate scissors. 

“It's a game of chance. How the hell do you always win?” Y/n groaned loudly.

“You always pick paper,” Cass said.

“That is not true,” Y/n scoffed. “Here, go again.” Y/n flattened her palm as paper and Cass held up scissors. “One more time. Alright, one more time. One more time. One more time. One more time.” Y/n kept holding up paper and Cass easily beat her every time with scissors. “Alright, one more time. One more time. God, this reverse psychology is a bust!” Y/n sighed and stepped outside to the hallway. “Ma'am?” she found Carlyle’s mother and smiled softly. “I'm Detective L/n. This is Detective Cain. I'm so sorry for your loss.”

“Please tell me whatever you can. Nobody will tell me anything,” Carlyle’s mother, Amy, begged.

“I really wish that I could, but we're just starting our investigation,” Y/n explained. “Now, is there anyone you can think of that would want to hurt your son?”

“No! Everybody loved Stevie. I don't know why this happened! Please, you have to find who did this.”

“We're doing everything we can,” Y/n reassured her.

“Promise me,” Amy pleaded slowly, staring helplessly at Y/n, “you'll find who did this.”

Cass stepped in and frowned, “ma'am, we can't promise-”

“Promise me!” Amy placed a hand on Y/n’s forearm and tears started forming in her eyes. “Stevie was my whole world. I'm a single mom… or, was a single mom.” She sniffed and wiped at her eyes.

Y/n took a breath and nodded. “I promise you.”

Cass falsely grinned at Amy, who was thanking Y/n profusely, and shoved Y/n back into the rotting apartment. “You really are an idiot, aren’t you?”

“Um, exsqueeze me?” Y/n crossed her arms, offended.

“Did you really just full-on promise a victim's family member we would solve a crime? You broke the number one rule of dealing with a victim's family member. What were you thinking?”

Y/n shrugged and muttered, “I don't know. She reminded me of my mom, okay? A single mother crying in the hallway? Those are some of my frequent childhood memories.”

Cass sighed and rubbed her temples, speaking more softly, “dude, you never make a promise, because if we don't solve this, you've given her false hope, and that is way worse.”

“Normally, I would totally agree with you, but we're going to solve this case. We have so much evidence. We hit triple digies! We'll interview his friends, neighbours, and coworkers. Come on. We got this!”

“Alright, fine. But you have to deal with her if we can’t solve it.”

“Okay.”

“My goodness.” Y/n placed a hand over her heart and raised her brows in Cass’ direction. “Did Mother Gothel finally let you out of the tower?”

Cass’s hair had been lengthened significantly by hair extensions that fell down to her waist. “What?” Cass squinted at her.

“It was a Tangled burn,” Y/n explained. “Jason and I had a Disney marathon last weekend.”

“Cool, but no. Harper’s learning how to weave in hair extensions. Anyway, I talked to the neighbours. Our vic had a party three nights before the murder. I talked to everyone on the guest list. They all have alibis, so I got nothing. How did your interviews go?”

Y/n sucked in a harsh breath. “Not great. I talked to his coworkers, friends, and family. No one had a motive. Everyone loved him. The dumb jerk. RIP,” she added quickly, waving a hand around in a bad rendition of crossing herself.

“Did you promise any of them that you'd find the killer?” Cass asked, glaring at Y/n.

Y/n stared at Cass for a tense moment before admitting, “yes, his aunt. She also reminded me of my mom. Her name was Y/m/n!”

“Y/n!” Cass reprimanded. 

“Look, it's gonna be fine. This apartment is full of forensic evidence! There is no way that CSI hasn't found something. I have never been more confident in my entire-” she threw open the door and groaned as the smell immediately blasted her. “I can taste the smell. Ugh. You shouldn't be able to taste smells.”

“That's the heat cookin' the blood rot right out of the floorboards.” Rojas sauntered up to them. “Set scent to simmer. Serve over rice.”

Cass gazed uncomfortably at him before saying, “just so you know, Rojas, we're not responding positively to you as a person. Maybe just give us an update on the labs.”

“Copy that. The victim was stabbed 30 times. Coroner puts the time of death between six p.m. and seven-thirty p.m. Sunday night.”

“Okay, and how many DNA matches did you find?” Y/n asked.

“None.”

“What about hair?”

“None.”

“Fingerprints?”

“None,” Rojas repeated. “I have no matches of anything on any criminal databases whatsoever.”

Cass turned to Y/n. “Still feeling good about your promise, L/n?”

“Still feeling good about that haircut, Cousin It? I’m sorry, I’m a little frustrated right now but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I love you, Cass.” Y/n took a breath after her quick speech and said, “Rojas, how did you guys not find anything? You had fifteen people in here.”

“First of all, you sound so ignorant right now. I had fourteen guys here.” He scoffed. ”Like I'd ever get approval for fifteen guys. That's insane. Second of all, don't worry, we found something good. We tested the blood. This blood splatter belongs to the victim, this to a second individual, and that to a third.”

“Oh, hells, yes. We might have some perp blood in here. This is huge! Cass, we’re gonna solve this case!” She high-fived Cass and a couple mornings later, she stood outside the apartment, and greeted her friend, “ah, good morning, Prince Harry.” Cass’ hair was a brilliant, stark red.

“You seem particularly chipper this morning,” Cass remarked.

”Indeed I am,” Y/n agreed. “Because I finally tracked down the guy who delivered our vic his final meal and, in so doing, maybe saw the other two guys who bled all over this apartment.”

“We don't know there were three people in the apartment,” Cass reminded her friend.

“Delivery guy,” a cop introduced Y/n and Cass to a young, thin man dressed in a work uniform.

“Hello, sir,” Y/n smiled kindly and shook the delivery boy’s hand. ”We'd like to ask you a couple of questions.”

The delivery boy, who must’ve been no older than twenty-five, looked around at all the uniforms and equipment there. He nervously admitted, “okay, look, I ate a couple fries out of the bag, but everybody does that.”

Y/n shook her head, fingers tucked in belt loops. “That's not why you're here.”

“Oh, shit,” Max, the delivery boy, looked petrified. “Is this about weed?” he asked quietly, like it was a secret.

Y/n’s brows shot up and asked, “should it be?”

“No?”

“You delivered food to the guy in this apartment at six-forty p.m. on Sunday,” Cass cut in. “And within the hour, he was murdered.”

“What? How? That's horrible!” Max cried.

“Did you see anything suspicious?”

“No,” Max said. “But I didn't go inside. The guy came to the door. I just gave him the food.”

“And did you see or hear anyone else in the apartment?” Y/n crossed her arms.

“No, just that one guy. He ordered, uh, three beetroot zucchini wraps,” Max stuttered.

Y/n grimaced dramatically. “Three disgusting wraps. Three disgusting bloodstains. I knew it. There were three people in there.”

Cass stepped forward. “Would you be willing to go inside and let us know if anything looks different to you?”

“Yeah. Sure, that's fine. I don't care,” Max agreed as Y/n began to open the apartment door. Max stepped in and took one look around before screaming out, “why would you show this to me? Oh, I'm too high to see this.” He gagged and his eyes fell on the fishbowl which had bloodstains on the glass. “There's blood on the fish! On the fish!”

Y/n turned to Cass and said quietly, “I always forget how weirdly numb to horrific things we are. Do you think it affects the relationships we build with others?”

“Oh, for sure,” Cass agreed, nodding stoically as Max continued wailing.

“Oh.”

Cass placed a hand on Max’s back, who was currently bent over, retching up air. “You must have seen something. You delivered the food at six-forty, and sometime before seven-thirty, Carlyle was stabbed to death.”

“Stop saying ‘stabbed!’” Max pleaded. “What I saw here forever changed me. My heart is still pounding!”

“Wait. Carlyle was wearing a smartwatch, right?” Y/n asked, whirling around to the evidence marker that stood by Carlyle’s phone. “Those things track your heart rate. If we look at his phone, we can see the exact moment his heart stopped beating. Here we go.” She opened the phone. “Activities app. And... boom! His heart rate dropped to zero at exactly six-oh-three.”

Cass’ brows furrowed and she muttered, “the food wasn't even ordered until six-sixteen, which means…”

Both detectives exclaimed, “the killer ordered the food!”

Max, who was sitting in fetal position, yelled out, “oh, god. Did I talk to a murderer?!”

“Y/n,” Cass ignored Max. “This guy saw the perp. We have to get him in front of a sketch artist.”

“Oh, yeah. I'm feeling it now, Cass.” She bounced up on the balls of her feet. “At this time tomorrow, we're gonna know exactly what our killer looks like!”

“We have no idea what our killer looks like,” Cass said the following day, bags under eyes.

“Well, that's not totally true.” Y/n shuffled through sketch renderings. “We now know that the killer might look like Sebastian Stan, Winona Ryder, or Bilbo Baggins.”

“The delivery guy kept starting over. Apparently, he's always high.” She shook her head. “I'm sorry, man. Our big break turned into nothing.”

A voice sounded from the end of the hallway. “Detectives,” Captain Wayne strode up to them, cap under his arm.

“Ah! Captain,” Y/n plastered a grin on her face. “Did you come down here to take a look at the two best detectives you've ever worked with in action?”

“The two best detectives I've ever worked with are Prince and Pennyworth,” Wayne said immediately.

“Oh.” Y/n nodded once and stared at Wayne. “You never mentioned them before.”

“They were excellent,” Wayne replied. “I'm here because Major Crimes wants the case. I was hoping to tell them you have some leads. I overheard you mention a Bill Bo-Baggins. Should we bring him in?”

Y/n stifled a chuckle. “Well, as much as I would love to meet him, he is not a suspect.”

“Okay, so who is?”

Y/n swallowed and said, “at this time? No one. But... we are currently investigating no leads.” She drew her lips in and waited for the disappointment.

“So you have nothing,” Wayne restated.

Cass glared at Y/n. “Not nothing. L/n made a new best friend. The vic's mom. She promised her she'd solve the case.”

Wayne pursed his lips. “That's a rookie mistake.”

Y/n held up her hands defensively. “Okay. Fine. Maybe I'm not Pierce and Pennyweather.”

“Prince and Pennyworth,” Wayne corrected. “And they would've remembered your name after one mention.”

“Because we're memorable, and they're not.” Y/n held up a hand to Cass for a high-five. “Turned it around.” Cass shook her head and Y/n dropped her hand, continuing, “alright, look, Captain. Cain and I are gonna solve this case. The answer is in this room.” She gestured around to the bloody apartment. “We just have to focus and let the room speak to us.” She shouted out to the open house, “isn't that right, room?”

“When you talk to the room,” Wayne deadpanned, “I lose even more confidence in you.”

“Why?” Y/n shrugged then turned to beg her Capitan, “can you please just buy us some more time? Sir, I feel like we've earned this.”

Wayne sighed heavily and conceded, “work fast.”

Y/n shot him a thumbs up and beamed. “Got it.” She turned back to the apartment and rubbed her hands together. She said to Cass, “okay. Let's look at the scene like we're seeing it for the first time with fresh eyes.” She jumped to the floor, next to where Carlyle’s body used to lay. “Vic was face down.”

Cass stood in the kitchen, analysing the blood on the wall. “Cast-off splatter suggests upward knife slices.”

“No signs of forced entry. Laptop, wallet, keys were all there,” Y/n said, staring at the desk where all the items lay.

“Doesn't connote a robbery,” Cass finished.

“Wait a minute. Have we said this already?” Y/n looked around. “Are we having the exact same conversation?”

“Yep.”

“Cool.” Y/n’s jaw twitched. “Moving on. Windows and doors locked from the inside. Nobody in or out.” She pressed her fingertips to her temples. “Think, think, think... oh!” She snapped her fingers and her head whipped upward to focus on the ceiling. “The upstairs neighbour and his best friend drilled through the ceiling, murdered Carlyle, bled all over the apartment, then climbed back up and sealed the hole behind them!”

Rojas spoke up from behind them. “Negative, we would have found construction debris and microscopic paint fibres. The only thing that needs patching... is that theory.”

Y/n waved him away. “Okay. New idea. We're gonna get inside the mind of the killer. We eat the veggie wraps!” She opened the days old food container and unwrapped the veggie wraps. A shiver ran up her spine as she took in the disgusting looking food. “Here we go,” she hesitantly took a bite of the wrap and immediately gagged. “Oh, this sick bastard,” she groaned. “Oh, man. This is one twisted motherfucker. Oh, the beets are raw. This guy is demented, Cass!” She harshly swallowed down the food before throwing away the rest of the veggie wrap, glaring at it. “How can someone stomach that…?”

A week later, Y/n stood in the middle of the room and held her arms out wide.“Okay. All we have to do is figure out what kind of person can walk by cameras without being seen. Someone camouflaged as a wall.” She glanced around, squinting at the walls, as if she could find the person.

“Unlikely,” Cass said.

“Harry Potter and his invisibility cloak,” Y/n said proudly.

Cass pointed out, “Not a real person.”

“Well, uh, how do you know, Cain? Have you searched all of Britain for a magical castle? I didn’t think so.”

A couple days later, Y/n sat on the kitchen counter, legs crossed and wearing a tank top and pyjama shorts. She suddenly gasped loudly and waved her hands around. “My god, Cain, come here. Look at the blood spatter. Do you see what I see?”

Cass walked over from the bedroom and wondered, “Uh, blood?”

“I think I just made a connection,” Y/n said. “The number three is everywhere. Three people. Three types of blood. And guess what the tax was on the veggie wraps? Three dollars and nineteen cents, but if you ignore the nineteen, then it's three!” she cried out.

Cass shook her head. “Okay. You've officially lost your mind.”

Y/n jumped off the counter and hissed, “what? Who told you that? Was it room?”

“No. It's the fact that you think the room has a voice and also you're working in your PJs!”

“To beat the heat, Cass!” Y/n shouted. “To beat the heat! If we can't turn on the AC, this isn’t crazy, it's just smart.”

Cass took a deep breath and said quietly, “Y/n, I gave the case to Major Crimes.”

“What?” Y/n’s lips parted in disbelief. “Cass, y-you can't do that. I promised Amy.”

“Yeah, and now you can't let it go,” Cass argued. She opened the apartment door and a group of men in uniforms and windbreakers entered. “The scene's yours, guys. I'm sorry, Y/n/n,” she said softly. “It's over.”

Y/n scoffed and marched out. “Okay, fine! I'll leave. Come on, room!” she called out to the apartment.

“You left your pants,” Cass said loudly.

“I don't care!” Y/n shouted back.

Cass slid into the briefing room, noticing Y/n who was crouched on the floor. “Hey, Y/n?”

Y/n popped up and gasped. “Ah! Hello, Cassandra, my coworker and dearest friend.”

Cass shoved her hands into her pockets. “Look, I know you're mad at me, but I only gave away that case to help you. You were acting like a lunatic.”

Y/n placed a bottle of ketchup on one of the tables. “Don't even worry about it. You were totally right. I was in too deep, and honestly, I feel so free not having to work that case anymore, so thank you.” She didn’t know what to do, so she gave Cass an awkward little bow.

Cass smiled, relieved. “Cool, you're welcome. Uh, what's up with all the ketchup?”

“It's, um… for my hot dog.” Y/n nodded slowly. She began to push Cass out of the room. “Anyways, this has been a great chat, but I better get back to my hot dog.”

Cass frowned and pushed past her and froze at the sight of Stephanie who was laying on the floor, covered in ketchup. “Oh, wow.” Cass said slowly, eyes wide.

“There's nothing crazy about this, sister,” Y/n said. “It's the crime scene!” She pointed to the differently arranged tables in the briefing room. “There’s the stove, the kitchen island, blood,” she splattered some more ketchup on a table. “And of course, the body,” she flourished towards Steph.

“Hi, Cass!” Steph waved at her friend. “I'm the body.”

“You gave away my case, but guess what?” She let out a ‘boo-yah’ and held up two fingers. “I spent two months in that apartment. I can recreate it in my sleep.”

“Have you slept?” Cass crossed her arms.

“No,” Y/n said.

Dick walked into the room and looked around, shocked at the mess. “What the hell is going on here?!”

“Y/n’s gone insane because she promised the victim's mom she'd solve her son's murder,” Cass explained.

Dick placed his hands on his hips, disappointed. “Seriously? You never promise a victim's relative anything.” He took a breath and commanded, “clean it up and get out. You've lost your mind,” he decided.

“That's not true!” Y/n retorted. “I'm solving this.”

“Hey, sweetheart?” Jason placed a comforting hand on Y/n’s back. He had gotten a concerning text from Cass that had persuaded Jason to stop by Y/n’s apartment during his lunch break. He had originally knocked on the door, but when she didn’t answer, he had used the key she gave him for emergencies. 

Y/n jumped at the contact and whirled around, eyes bloodshot and the bags under her eyes were darker than ever. “Jason? When did you get here?” Before her sat the blueprints of Carlyle’s apartment.

Jason’s eyes widened at her appearance before his expression softened sadly. “Oh, darling, how much sleep have you gotten?”

“Uh… when was Monday?”

“Four days ago,” Jason answered gently. “Come on,” he gently helped her out of her chair and led her to the bedroom. “Can we get some rest?” Y/n nodded reluctantly and allowed him to tuck her into bed. “I’m just gonna stay here to make sure you get sleep well,” Jason whispered. 

“Okay…” Y/n soon fell asleep, a small smile tugging on Jason’s lips. He returned to Y/n’s living room and sat down on the couch, turning the TV on, making sure the volume was low so as to not disturb her. 

However, an hour or so later, Jason heard some rustling from Y/n’s room. Worried, he crept to Y/n’s room and peered in. When he saw what his girlfriend was doing, he sighed heavily. “Y/n, my darling, please go to sleep.” 

Y/n was using the blueprints as a blanket, reading over them intently, eyes blurry and exhausted. “Never,” she muttered. Jason took the blueprints away from her before typing a text message on his phone.

That afternoon, Cass stopped by Y/n’s apartment. She was greeted by Jason who led her inside and motioned to the bathroom. Y/n was sitting in the tub, cuddled in a blanket, and muttering to herself. Cass sighed and knelt down next to the bathtub. “L/n,” she said. “So, I can see how much this case means to you. I was thinking that maybe I could help you solve it.”

Y/n glanced up and the blanket fell off her shoulders. Jason came up behind her and rewrapped the blanket around her. “Really?” she asked. “But I thought Major Crimes just labelled it a cold case.”

“They did,” Cass confirmed. “But clearly, you’re not gonna let it go. And hey, if they’re out of the way, then we can take all the credit ourselves.” She smirked loosely and Y/n beamed.

The detective leapt out of the bath and wrapped her arms around her friend. “Thank you, Cass!” 

The following afternoon, Y/n and Cass arrived at Carlyle’s apartment. “That's weird,” Cass hummed. “The police tape's already gone.”

“Oh, yeah, Major Crimes released the scene yesterday.” The pair walked into the apartment as Y/n said, “but I'm sure they haven't had time to clean up the evidence…” she trailed off, looking at the perfectly spotless rooms.

“Oh, shit, they emptied the place out.” Cass said. “Nothing left in here. I can't believe this is how it ends.”

“Yeah. Is it weird that I miss the smell?” Y/n’s lips turned up in a reminiscing smile. “Wait a minute, do you hear that?” Her head tilted to the side as she tried to figure out if the soft humming noise was coming from the apartment, or if she really was crazy and it was all in her head. “I've spent six hundred hours in this room, and I have never heard that sound.”

“It's because the air conditioning's never been turned on. It's coming from that vent,” Cass pointed to a large vent in the wall.

Y/n immediately took out a swiss army knife and unscrewed the bolts. She faithfully got down on her hands and knees and crawled into the huge vent. “I don't see anything,” she called back to Cass. “Wait, there's a bend. Oh, my god.” She came across a pack of plastic water bottles and some empty chip bags. “There's food and water in here!”

Half an hour later, Cass and Y/n stood in the precinct, Cass’ laptop propped open in front of them. Cass said, “we never saw the killer leave this apartment because he never left. But he couldn't have survived in there for months. That's insane.”

“He wasn't back there for months,” Y/n explained. “He just waited for the body to be discovered and then snuck out sometime after that.”

“But this place was crawling with cops.”

“Which is exactly what he wanted,” Y/n scratched at her nose. “He snuck out dressed like a cop.”

“Even if he had a uniform, somebody would've recognized him,” Cass said, thinking logically. In order for them to figure this case out, there couldn’t be any holes in the story.

“Not if his face was covered.”

“By a Hazmat suit!” Cass’ mouth fell open. “The CSI guys! Rojas said he had fourteen techs, but didn't you count fifteen?”

“I did count fifteen!” Y/n exclaimed loudly. “My maths was right! Suck it, Mrs. Wilson! She was my Algebra two teacher. She was actually very sweet. She believed in me.” Cass shot her a look and Y/n remembered, “oh. Yeah. Here's the security footage. Play the tape.” Cass pressed play and Y/n narrated along to the video, “okay, so there's us arriving. Alright…. Wait. Go back.” She pointed to the one guy on the screen. “Look at this guy. All the other techs are wearing their little booties, but he's not. Follow that guy.”

“Where's the footage from the grocery across the street?” Cass muttered to herself, pulling up the camera logs.

“We have that?” Y/n asked, astonished. “That is so crazy. We’re under surveillance at all times. I'm sure it's fine and it won't backfire and ruin society.” She shook her head, ridding herself of the thoughts. “Zoom in on his face. Hm… that man isn’t CSI. But he is about to say… CS-bye.” She grinned at her pun and announced, “okay, Cass. You know what it's time for!”

The friends high-fived each other and said, “Cass and Y/n’s final impressions!”

“The dude’s a hit man. He snuck into the apartment during the party several nights earlier, hid in the vent for three days, then emerged and murdered Carlyle. Y/n?”

Y/n took over and added, “he then spilled bags of blood that he stole from a blood bank all over the floor and turned on the victim's Roomba to make the crime scene as messy as possible. Cass?”

“The messy scene meant there'd be extra crime techs, allowing the perp to sneak out in a Hazmat suit, which records show he bought online. Two weeks before the crime was committed. My only question, who was behind all this?”

Two days later, a man by the name of Warren Lawford (“Really? That’s the most ironic name ever!”) sat in the interrogation room and said, “I was hired by a depressed grocer.”

“Wow.” Y/n muttered. “Dopeness taking a late hit here, but we still got you! See you at the sentencing, peace, and we're out!” She held up a peace sign before she and Cass swept out of the room, looking smug. 

Amy waited for them outside, face contorting into relief when Cass explained that Lawford was pleading guilty. “Oh, thank god. But why did he kill Stevie? Was he doing something bad?”

“Not at all,” Y/n reassured her. “Steve dropped one of his clients that was too emotionally attached to him and the client went kinda crazy and issued a hit on him.”

“Well, is anybody going after him?”

“If they're not, then I will. I promise you,” Y/n said softly.

Amy’s eyes filled with tears and she spread her arms open. “Come here,” she sniffed, wrapping Y/n in a big hug, electing a squeak from the detective.

“Why are you promising her?” Cass mouthed to Y/n from out of Amy’s line of sight.

“I can't help myself!” Y/n whispered harshly.

“Goodbye, detectives,” Amy grinned before exiting the precinct.

“Take care,” Y/n called after the woman. 

“I gotta say,” Cass huffed a chuckle. “We would not have solved that case if you hadn't gotten involved emotionally.”

“Think we'd be better cops if we did that all the time?” Y/n asked.

“Absolutely not, never again.”

“Yeah, it was a total nightmare.”

[karbisworld]

P.3 <3

✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓⟪SHIP⟫˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦ Jake Peralta x Reader

✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⟪CATEGORIES⟫˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦ Romance // Comedy // Little angst // Friends to Lovers

✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ⊹⟪SUMMARY⟫⊹ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓✦ Jake Peralta just got his heart broken by the two women's he liked the most, his formal girlfriend at the time Sophia Perez, who broke with him and his another romantic interest Amy after she told him that she didn't wanted a relationship inside work; now he's alone with only his friends.

✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁

Next morning you woke up with a headache that felt like if an elephant has passed over your head. You felt your body a little more heavy than normal, you thought it was for the drinking but when you opened your eyes you noticed that Jake had one of his arms wrapped around you while he was sleeping, you felt your heart stop working for a second but then you heard him muffle something.

-w-wait A-Amy- you heard him say and that absolutely broke your heart, you didn't even cared what he was actually dreaming about, Amy could be strangling him and you couldn't care less about it

It was just annoying, the way even Charles considers you the second option, how he would love the idea of Jake and Amy dating and how you would be a plan B if things go wrong, it was annoying and you were tired.

You moved Jakes arm out of you, after all he was basically passed out so he didn't even noticed, you wanted to just leave but you still cared about him maybe a dumb decision but you just couldn't help it, but also you knew that you deserve better, and that when things don't get better with one person you need to start searching for a new one…

You went to his little laundry room and you took your still a little wet clothes; you put them on a plastic bag and left the apartment. You didn't really wanted to leave him alone so you called Charles

-Hello Y/N how is the lovey dovey stuff going? TELL ME EVERYTHING!- Charles said in an excited voice

-SHUT UP! I am hang over!- You say annoyed through the phone -Listen I know you had no freaking lead of anything yesterday, so it's time to pay for that, come to his apartment and take care of him-

-What happened?- Charles says worried

-Nothing happened, the dude just puked on me since he got horribly drunk and then passed out, he's still passed out, but I am no man's nanny so you better come and take care of him- you say with an annoyed tone of voice while getting in your car

-You sound upset, are you okay?- Charles said worried

-Just shut up and come babysit your friend, this fucking hangover is killing me too much to be his nanny that's it- you say annoyed and hang up the phone, you felt annoyed yet sad, about everything and with those two, and everyone, everything felt shitty and you just wanted to go home and stay in bed all day.

✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁

Charles view

Charles felt slightly worried at all that call but didn't thought much about it and just went to Jake's place, he lived close to him so it didn't took him long. He could've swear that saw Y/N's car leaving as he arrived, it might be true it might not, the important thing is Jake.

Charles got into Jake's apartment to noticing still sleeping on the bed, Charles thought on making breakfast but as he walked to the little kitchen he noticed a little bagel and a coffee in a table, it was noticeable that it was fresh since the coffee was still very hot, Charles smiled and shakes his head.

-Jake…- He starts trying to wake Jake out preparing some small medicine for the hangover -Jake wake up-

Jake starts waking up slowly and jumps out of scare looking at Charles -Charles what are you doing here?…- he asks a little confused feeling his head like if it was about to explode -Where is Y/N?-

Charles shrugs -In her apartment I suppose- he says handing Jake the hangover cure -She called me in the morning for me to come and care for you-

Jake looks a little embarrassed -Man, maybe she's mad at me… I fucked up and ended up throwing up on her…- he says ashamed

-Yeah she mentioned it but I don't think she was annoyed at you- he say handing him the coffee and the bagel -She left this here for you-

Jake smiles -Man, I owe that woman a lot now-

Charles nods -So can I ask what happened yesterday? She slept here didn't she?- he asks with a teasing voice

Jake's eyes widen a little bit and shakes her head -No… I mean, yeah but it isn't anything that you're thinking about, I just messed up her clothes and so she had to borrow some mine and I invited her to stay but just in a friend way, nothing more- he says looking a little shy

-No wonder she was annoyed- Charles whisper to himself

-What?- Jake questioned

-Nothing!- says Charles noticing the words that came out of his mouth -Anyways! You just rest okay? I still have some work on the precinct, but I will bring you some food later!- said Charles trying to escape but Jake stopped him

-Wait, tell me what did you said before first- he says stopping him from leaving -Or I will find a new best friend!- said Jake threatening Charles with his biggest fear

-Jake I can't Y/N is going to kill me… Don't do this- Charles says really trying to escape

Jake let's him go and gives Charles his back -Okay then, I thought we were best friends but I guess not-

Charles felt like exploding, for one side you were going to kill him and from the other side Jake was leaving him out of their friendship, he couldn't stand it… -Y/N-HAS-A-CRUSH-ON-YOU- He says quickly like letting a bomb out

-WHAT?!- Jake asks in shock -SINCE WHEN?!, HOW DO YOU KNOW?!-

-Jake please I can't answer all that, I just… Found out a while ago okay? That's it, now I really need to go bye- Charles said running away from Jake's apartment. Jake tried to stop him but wasn't able to leaving him with those news.

✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁ ˓⊹˖ ݁ ˓✦˖ ݁ ˓♡˖ ݁

A couple of days passed by and you guys started working again, you had no idea Charles spilled your secret and Jake tried to not make it noticeable that he knew.

-Hey Y/N, here I got you this- Jake says handing you a cup of coffee and a bagel -Repayment- he says with a smile

-Thanks- you smile back and kept on doing some paperwork, you still felt a little hurt by what happened so you just decided to take a little distance from Jake

-Anyhow, I would like to invite you dinner since… Well I still feel guilty for what happened- Jake says to you

-Today?-

-If you're free then yes!-

-Sorry I am actually not free- you say trying to not get in much detail

-Are you sure? I will take us to a good restaurant and everything- he says playfully, you just shake your head

-I am sure, I already have plans, sorry- you admit

Jake nods -It's okay- he says a little disappointed -may I ask what are you doing tonight?- he asks curious

You felt a little uncomfortable to say it but at the same time you thought "Fuck it" -I have a date- you admit

-A date huh?- Sargent Jeffords says as he overheard you while passing by -Who's the lucky fella?-

You felt a little more embarrassed at the office noticing, you didn't like to open up much about those things -It's a mutual friend, my best friend will come with their partner and will present me to this guy better… Kinda like a double date-

-So you don't know him?- Jake asks

-I kinda do, we have met in my friend birthday parties or events like that and we hit it off really well but he had a partner at that time so, now he has been single for a while, me too, so we are gonna try- you say with a little hope that he would help you take Jake out of your brain

-It's this guy?- Jake roll his computer screen to you to show you your date's Facebook

-How did you?…-

-I just had to navigate over your friend's pictures to notice a group one in their birthday and since your group of friends is mostly girls it wasn't hard to assume this was the guy- he says in a cocky tone of voice

-Jake is a great detective!- said Charles

-That's scary don't stalk my date or my friends- you said a little uncomfortable at that -It's nothing serious anyway- you say taking your coat as the work day was ending

-It is serious, look at what you're wearing, that's definitely serious- Jake's say pointing at your dress

-Seriously stop- you say to Jake getting a little annoyed at his comments exposing you at the office

-Fine fine- says Jake taking his own coat to leave too -Hold the elevator, I am leaving too- he says to you and you do. No one thinks much of it.

The elevator opens and you two walk to your respective cars.

-Make sure to take care of yourself!- Jake says to you

-I know- you say getting in your car and leaving

Jake feels the urge to follow you just in case but he also doesn't want to present himself as more of an stalker. Just his luck, he just discovered you had a crush on him and you start moving on… Maybe he's truly not made for love…

[enjolrasling]

I saw the Les Miserables US tour on Tuesday and am still IN MY FEELINGS about it, so here’s a random assortment of somewhat coherent thoughts/rambles/write up/review.

(Note: I saw the entire principle cast except Randy Jeter (who was out) and two ensemble swings. Andrew Marks Maughan was pulling double duty as both the Bishop and Combferre.)

• I didn’t know anything about Nick Cartell going in, but holy fuck, that VOICE. Tone is immaculate. Lungs of fucking steel.

• “Another story must beGINNNNNN” are you kidding me Nick. Who gave you the right to be this talented. Why is this man not more famous?!

• Preston Truman Boyd as Javert - voice is great, nice deep baritone. I wanted a smidge more from him acting wise though (this improved over the course of his performance).

• Nick and Preston sound phenomenal together, their voices work SO WELL.

• Haley Dortch has the voice of an angel and I loved her portrayal of Fantine.

• I appreciated that when Fantine was attacked/arrested all of the lovely ladies kept trying to stop it/help her. A nice staging touch.

• The whole transition into the courtroom was fantastic. Nick with that ending note of “Who Am I?” 🤯 I feel like I heard a few nods to Colm’s Valjean throughout Nick’s performance, this being one, which I appreciated on a cellular level.

• Confrontation sounded sooo good. It is a little goofy looking because Nick is so much shorter/smaller than Preston, which made the whole Valjean-as-stronger-man thing a bit silly. The blocking here didn’t do much for me. But what can you do. However! The “you’ll wear a different CHAInnn!” *cue Present with the chain hitting the stage floor* was fierce.

• It took a minute but Matt Crowle really won me over as Thénardier. Acting choices were 💯 without going over the top.

• There was a lot going on during “Master of the House” and it was a lot of fun, but also hard to catch everything.

• Gavroche was delightful. As usual.

• I’m not sure why Enjolras’ blonde wig was so bad, but it was really distracting. Devin Archer does a very decent Enjolras, but man that wig was not doing him any favors.

• Marius’ entrance was forgettable. I think this was more a staging issue than a reflection on Jake David Smith maybe? All the students kind of looked the same at this time. I had a hard time telling Les Amis apart all night, honestly. Except for Enjolras and Grantaire, obviously, which brings me to….

• Kyle Adams. You freaking fan-servicing national treasure. Cards on the table, seeing reviews of Kyle’s Grantaire was the single biggest reason I decided to catch this tour, and I was really, REALLY hoping to see him in the role. I did not think anyone would ever come close to eclipsing Hadley as my R of all time, but Kyle is right up there in his orbit. Omg that scene stealing little shit. He really put his all into “the drunk one”. Blowing the kiss to E at the end of Red and Black. Continually slapping people with his coat jacket. The dick-bottle in Enjolras’ face. Constantly goofing around with Gavroche. It was all gold. I really appreciate an actor who’s done their homework, and Kyle is very obviously well versed in both the source material and the rabid E/R fan fiction. His performance is a love letter to the fans - to those of us who have cried over the brick, who have watched every musical version we’ve been able to get our hands on over and over again - and I love that for all of us.

• Anyway, back to “Red and Black”. Devin is great, really brings the sassy Enjolras energy. Marius is….kind of forgettable again. Sorry, Jake. Enjolras when he grabs that flag…Devin is really serving.

• “Do You Hear the People Sing” was wonderfully rousing, as always. One of my favorites forever. The transition to the streets was very pleasing. Again, Devin with that damn flag. I might end up shipping Enj with the flag as much as E and R, he’s that passionate with it 🤣

• Delaney Guyer was a perfectly pleasant Cosette. No criticisms, I just haven’t really ever cared about Cosette much as a character. Her songs do very little for me. But Delaney was lovely.

• Mya Rena Hunter as Eponine was somewhat “meh” for me. Her vocals are killer and “On My Own” got one of the biggest ovations of the night, but I didn’t love her acting choices. Or maybe lack there of, it didn’t seem like there were any. I dunno.

• The staging/choreo for “One Day More” was really entertaining. Much better than the underwhelming marching I saw in the 2012 production. Devin serving sassy, dramatic Enjolras with flair and a rifle is a whole ass mood.

• I fucking love the barricade set. Seeing Les Amis climb all over that thing is such a moment. Enjolras literally leaping off the set multiple times. Dude gets AIR.

• Gavroche flipping off Javert was an audience favorite.

• “A Little Falls of Rain” was underwhelming. The staging was a bit awkward and there was no scene chemistry between Jake and Mya. I really wanted to feel something. I didn’t. Just eh.

• “Drink With Me”, on the other hand, was so wonderfully emotional. Kyle’s stying of R’s verse is an angrier, grittier interpretation and I’m sooo here for it. Enjolras goes to console him and R pushes him away. The pain feels so real.

• “Bring Him Home”….Nick. Fucking. Cartell. I have no words. He cast an absolute SPELL over the theater. His breath control is super human. His last “home” note went on FOREVER. Absolutely phenomenal. Hands down best version I’ve ever heard live. Biggest ovation of the night.

• Gavroche’s death 😭 So sad, so well done. It was very striking how he was shot just as Enjolras’ hand reached up for him as he returned. The timing, the lights, sound everything was excellent. Then he crumpled onto E’s shoulder. E handed his lifeless body to R, who was just devastated. I love the relationship they created between Gavroche and R this production. The entire build up of their interactions made this moment so poignant and believable.

• Christopher Robin Sapp really took his 5 seconds of National Guard Officer/Loud Hailer time and absolutely slayed it. I want to see more of this guy in the future.

• The choreo of the final battle was very satisfying. I totally missed Marius getting injured and just mistook him for another student because again….Marius was just not catching any of my attention this tour, lol. The frantic moment between E and R in this scene was so raw and well done by both actors. R reaching for E’s face, clasping hands so very briefly. Ugh.

• Then E with the flag again. This scene is so striking and Devin gives it EVERYTHING. Then R climbing up after E once he gets shot and falls off of the barricade. The way it takes a few moments for R to die after being shot and Kyle freaking Adams makes sure the audience knows it…

• I was lucky enough to see a production with the revolving stage back in the day and I’m really glad I did, because the reveal of Enjolras’ body hanging upside down off the other side of the barricade with the flag is one of those theater moments that will haunt me forever. Enjolras’ lifeless body in the cart just doesn’t have quite that same punch, but it’s timed very nicely with the music swell, and the way his body shifts/almost falls out of the cart when it’s carried away again is quite effective.

• Ok so the sewers. That was cool. I felt like this production used just enough of the screen to really assist the set design without relying on it too much. It worked really well for the orchestration and gave depth to Valjean just dragging Marius across the stage 3 times.

• Thénardier dragging in that corpse by his ankles for “Dog Eats Dog” lol. Matt really showed up for this scene. I think he did a good job of dipping into the “comedic” aspects of Thénardier as well as balancing the really rotten parts - this was a really great rotten part. I thoroughly enjoyed his turn as the infamous innkeeper.

• Javert is such a little drama queen.

• “Stars” was A++++. One of my forever favorites anyway, but Preston took this song to church. Also, I do NOT remember this staging, if it’s what I saw in 2012 (I don’t think so?!) and holy shit. I was not expecting what they did, which got quite a few gasps from the audience. The falling/floating/reaching while holding that last “ONNNNNNN” was a fucking MOMENT. Props to this production set up. Major props to Preston. Just wow.

• The transition from “Turning” to “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” was beautiful, and I love love love the candle choreography. When Les Amis blow their candles out….ugh 😭 This number was a bit of redemption for Jake David Smith, who until now had kept slipping into the background. I found his Marius to be a bit uninspired and unrecognizable for the most part. He did not bring much of a presence to the role until this moment. But his vocals were great here, and the anguish felt genuine.

• I don’t have much too say about “Beggars at the Feast” because I was too busy watching no one but Kyle Adams as Major Domo for the entire scene 🤷🏻‍♀️

• But omg the change of Thénardier’s lyrics from “this one’s a queer / but what can you do?” to “this one’s a queer / I might try it too” and then he dips that random wedding guest dude was a giant yes from me.

• Finale left a touch to be desired blocking/staging wise. I remember feeling that way with the 2012 production as well. Les Mis is just such a powerful musical, I feel like it deserves a bigger ending than basically everyone just standing in two lines behind Cosette and Marius. The cast’s vocals made up for the lack of production though. Truly so, so good.

• In conclusion: Nick Cartell has an otherworldly voice and Kyle Adams is the Grantaire we all deserve. I am so, SO glad I got to experience this cast.