#me: hey M i feel like you’d like this poem. them: I would die for you

[lesbian-thespian-paladin]

Apparently I have a very specific set of skills (befriending midwestern butches)

[tf2-headcanons-and-scenarios]

What if a s/o wrote poems and love letters to Medic in secret (never delivering them) and one day Archimedes grabs some of them and shows them to Medic?? X3

A/N: You are a genius. Enough said.

Another day, another letter written, sealed and stuffed into a drawer that was slowly losing space. No matter how many times they write anything directed towards Medic, [y/n] will never deliver or show any of them to him. That begs the questions as to why they write them in the first place. In a way, writing love letters and poems for a person that will never see them have [y/n] a medium to properly express their feelings towards the German doctor, and by golly would they die if Medic ever saw them. Heaven forbid Scout of all people found the stash.

Love in the battlefield was not commonplace, and even the smallest expression of admiration never went unnoticed. That didn’t stop anyone from catching feelings, and by golly did Medic catch feelings HARD. For the doctor, love was a chemical reaction the brain made and by golly did [y/n] make his chemicals skyrocket through the roof in the best of ways. The conversations he shared with them in the medical lab, the battlefield banter, the way they gently caressed the doves, it never failed to make him smile and feel light on the inside. However, despite [y/n]’s presence lingering in his mind, the more pressing matter that plagued his thoughts was where Archimedes flew off to.

—————————————

[y/n] just managed to stuff your latest poem into their desk drawer when Scout barged into the room asking if they wanted to play, and by golly they would be lying if they said they didn’t get startled by the boy’s presence. When Scout left, [y/n] opened the drawer to take the poem out again, more to see whether or not they were motivated to finish it or to just let it gather dust in a cramped space for the rest of eternity. They barely noticed the door was left open when the soft cooing of a dove startled them. Turning to find the door open and Archimedes sitting on the desk, [y/n] sighed and smiled.

“Hey there Archimedes. What are you doing all the way over here in this stuffy room?”

As innocent as Archimedes was, he was still Medic’s pet, and his curious nature led to him snatching a bunch of papers up from the drawer and fly away. Envelopes and papers began falling from underneath his talons, and [y/n] was left in a panicked state as they followed the dove, catching any lose papers that fell from his grip and stuffing each into a pocket. Heaven forbid if anyone else got to those pages before they did.

Well, it wasn’t as if [y/n] wanted that dignity anyway. Dying of embarrassment seemed to be a fitting end to their life too.

—————————————

Medic watched as Archimedes flew into his lab with a bunch of papers in his grip. Medic looked at an envelope with his name attached to it. He was not expecting the following to greet him:

‘Medic,

The hours we spend talking in the Medical Lab seem to be an eternity I long to hold onto. Your laughter brightens my day and you never cease to amaze me with your (questionable) knowledge of medicine and anatomy.

I may seem mad for saying this, but the best people are the ones who go crazy after all (I have you to prove that for me). Put simply: I seem to have the case of feelings, feelings I caught from you.

As stupid as I may seem right now, would it be possible to be more than friends?

[y/n]’

His face was bright pink when he picked up another item from the pile, this time a sheet of paper:

‘Roses are red. Violets are blue. Are you a bloody fish? Because you are quite the catch.’

‘M is for marvellous

E is for eccentric

D is for devious

I is for inventive

C is for certainly attractive’

‘Your eyes are like oceans

Your laugh is a breeze

If there’s one thing I wish for:

An eternity with you.’

‘Medic,

I hope I have the guts to send this your way this Valentines Day. I think the best way to convey how I feel is to say simply:

I love you.

But that’s a bit boring isn’t it? I wouldn’t know how you’d react, your the one reading this letter, I’m not.

Feel free to throw this out if you don’t care about it. I honestly don’t mind.

Is it weird to say ‘I love you’ at the end of this? Oh well, I’ll say it anyway, I did say it above too so I guess there’s no point being shy about it.

I love you,

[y/n].’

Medic didn’t think his face could have been redder, nor his body temperature hotter. Well, at least he knows [y/n] like him back, most likely at the cost of their now shattered dignity!

—————————

[y/n] was slowly dying of embarrassment after failing to catch Archimedes and get back the love letters and poems. A soft knock on the door brought their attention to the reality that Medic might confront them to either reciprocate the emotion or ask what the heck the letters were about.

Getting up, they opened the door to see a small box with a string tied in a bow. Collecting the box, [y/n] opened it up to see a rose and a letter addressed to them. Curiously, they opened it up to read the following:

‘Roses are red

Violets are blue

I fucked up this rhyme

Would you like to be mine?

Medic’

Their face red and their heart racing, two things came to mind for [y/n]:

1. Medic reciprocated their feelings (and definitely read the letters and poems if it meant sending a poem of the same fashion back)

2. He didn’t fuck up the rhyme. Legit he rhymed.

[greyyskies911]

Things I want you to know, if I die:

1. The poems, all of them but one, were for you. Every word I’ve ever written that counts was written about you, for you.

2. I’ve made a countless number of wishes. Upon stars, 11:11 wishes, on eyelashes- none of them were for you. I wouldn’t let, even the slightest foolish superstition, even if it was my hearts desire, get in the way of your free choice, your freedom in any way. But in most of those wishes, when you were sad or hurting I prayed for you to be okay. I prayed for your happiness. I wished for you to find someone who made you feel like you made me feel. I wished you to never feel the aching loneliness that creeps up from within and settle inside your heart in the darkest nights, in crowded rooms. I wanted you to be happy. I still do.

3. I wish I had the courage to tell you what I felt. Even if you didn’t feel the same, you should know that someone loved you once, from the bottom of her heart. You ought to know the impact you have upon my life. Maybe I’ll write you another letter. To be posted post mortem.

4. In August 2016 I was going to kill myself. You. I had never felt so alone. I had never felt so relieved and yet so terrified. You said, ‘Hey, are you okay?’ How did you know? Was I that obvious? My hands were trembling I could barely sign my name. I smiled I remember. I said ‘’m fine.’ You didn’t push me. You just pulled me into your arms, held me tight and said, ‘whatever it is, it’ll be alright.’ And that night, no matter how many times I brought the blade to my skin, I just couldn’t do it. I thought and I thought and I thought. Your words kept coming back to me. ‘Whatever it is, it’ll be alright.’ And you cared. You noticed and you cared enough to ask. Until that point that night, no one else had. And the fact that there were people like you, people who would care and notice someone like me, someone you’d never really spoken to. Someone who wasn’t even a friend. That meant something. The idea, that maybe, someone would care if I died. Even if I haven’t met that someone yet, that’s was enough. If not for you, I wouldn’t be here to compile this list.

5. Before I met you, being gay was something I couldn’t even accept to myself. But you were so casual in your admiration for girls, so blatant about the way you’d imply that hey maybe you’d like girls but also maybe not, in a way that it seemed like a normal thing. You made a part of me that made me feel like something perverse, something to be hated , something I had to smother and kill into something beautiful. Because how could loving you be something wrong? Falling in love with you, made me fall in love with the world all over again.

6. April 2017, plane ride back from Singapore; you, me, and that foreign lady. Singapore was liberating. Beautiful city. Just us and people who loved us and wouldn’t judge us around. Plane ride back, my thoughts eventually circled back to its usual dark corners of my mind. Hozier’s Take Me To Church playing on repeat, the old fears and anxieties started bubbling again. I’m gay. I’m gay and I love a girl. What would my parents think. What would they say? Would they hate me? Would I disappoint them? Would they hate my girlfriend someday? Would I be thrown in jail? Would I be expelled? Would they let me train kids anymore? Would my friends feel uncomfortable around me? Would you hate me if you knew? Would you not want to sit next to me? I know you accept people like me but it’s different when they like you right? Are you gay? I wrapped myself in my shawl and let my head rest on the seat in front. You asked. ‘Hey, are you okay?’ No. ‘Yeah.’ Hmmm. ‘That’s a random question. Why would you even ask that?’ No words. Your eyes said it all. I still see them sometimes. In my memory when I wonder if anyone cares. In my dreams. You gestured to my wrist. My bracelet? My scars. Oh. So you noticed. I didn’t have words to speak, my throat was parched. God please no why stop this you can’t see how messed up I am I know you wouldn’t hate me you’d want to help but god i need you to see me as an equal as someone normal I need that. I’m sorry. I was frozen. ‘Can I stroke your hair?’ Can I. Of course. I nod. Your fingers, so gentle. Soft. ‘I used to, if it helps.’ You- Jesus. How could anyone, anything, push you to so much pain to have to- oh. ‘Why?’ ‘I used to get bullied a lot when I was smaller.’ I knew about this. Grade nine you. So small. Just. I wish I knew you then. I wish I could’ve tried to help you. Tried to be there for you. So that you had someone to tell you that things were gonna be okay, someone to hold you tight, someone to trace patterns on the back of your hand. It hit me then, that the way I was living was messed up. That I needed to get better. It had never occurred to me before, that there was a difference between surviving and living. ‘I’m sorry for bringing it up.’ It’s okay. I wish I had the courage to tell you that you were the reason I’d survived for this long. That I cared for you. ‘I won’t tell anyone.’ ‘Thanks.’ Pull the armrest up. Pull me onto your lap. Your hands gently stroking my hair. For once in my life, terrified and yet completely safe.

7. Someday, ask Jessica what I’ve said about you. If you want to know. If she remembers, she’ll tell you I spoke about you as though you were the reason the stars came out at night and the sunlight falls through the leaves after a rainstorm in dappled beams through leaves and water droplets like jewels. I learnt to draw because of you. Because you made fun of my art once in Singapore. I learnt physics because you remind me of the stars and I’ve been in love with space ever since. You make me want to be kinder, smarter and better in every way. You are my reason.

8. I love you. In the most genuine, unselfish way possible, I love you. You make me happier than anyone else in the world can. I want you to be happy. With or without me in my life. In every way possible. I want you to fall in love with blue skies and grasslands and paddy fields and stars and 11:11 wishes. I want you to dance to good music while making pancakes on lazy Saturday mornings. I want you to cry over romcoms at three in the morning (and maybe not spill ricotta cheese all over the kitchen floor when you go to get a snack) but have a reason to smile at the end of the movie. I hope you never feel lonely again. I hope you always have someone who’s hand you can hold. Someone who could trace patterns all over your arms all day, or stroke your hair or push you against a wall and kiss you until you can feel again. Someone who looks at yoh like Flynn Ryder looks at Rapunzel. Like I looked at you.

9. In my life, I’ve been through a lot of shit. Some of it you know, some you don’t. But if there was one thing that made all that shit worth surviving, it was our friendship. Don’t get me wrong and think I was pining for years, that I wanted something more- I didn’t. You made me feel like I was enough. I have no words to tell you how much I valued your presence in my life. I’d be having a shitty day at school with prefect stuff and home stuff and sometimes I’d come to your class and sit there and wait. Being near you calmed me down. Being near you made me feel okay. I owe you so much for the things you have done for me. All I can do is to wish all the happiness in the world for you.

[aquaticsapphic]

I mean, all that haven't been answered already. You don't really have to do them all if you don't want to

(1) For that questions thing, if you do all of them, I’ll do all of them

TOO BAD BITCHESHERE WE GO

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

not too important

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

worth……. what? the time? I mean, if both people make each other happy then hell yeah

4. Are you in a relationship?

nope

5. Are you in love?

I’m……. not in a relationship……

6. Are you single this year?

yeah I”m not in a relationship but I’m not single either. you know how it is. /s

7. Can you commit to one person?

I feel like I could. I don’t have much experience w long-term relationships tbh

9. Describe your perfect mate

-likes me

-is nice

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

nah, but I believe in lust at first sight

11. Do you ever want to get married?

it sounds cool. it’s hard to imagine bc I’m pretty young still. I really just want to wear a wedding dress and shove cake in my face while my close friends and family watch tbh

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

hell no. once someone betrays me, they go on my Shit List. and then I never forget them and constantly wish them the worst of luck

15. Do you have any piercings?

no

16. Do you have any tattoos?

no

20. Do you shower every day?

bitch I don’t even sleep every day

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I mean, I’m sitting in the same room as my roommates and talking on the group chat so I sure damn hope so?

if it means romantically, then no

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

yeah

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

oh god I hope not. unless I somehow become a lady-killer overnight, and learn about what relationships are actually supposed to be like.

but ultimately I want to make sure I know what I’m doing with my life too? like I know some of my friends want to move after graduation and others want to stay and like…. what if I want to move and my gf doesn’t? what if my gf wants to move and I don’t? there’s a lot of things I’m not sure about in regards to my future so I feel like sharing that would give both of us a lot of stress

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

maybe?

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

nah

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

uhh….. I don’t think so?

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

I can’t say for 100% certainty that I have…… but it sure damn seemed like it

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

no, I’m not a shitty person. like I admit I’m not a good person, but I’d never do that to someone. it’s just…… so shitty

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

yeah. idk if it really counts as plastic surgery per se, but one of the things I’ve considered is getting laser hair removal because I’m super lazy and I hate shaving but I like the aesthetic of shaved legs

but then I found out that laser removal isn’t permanent and is expensive and I quickly decided against it but it was definitely an idea

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

yeah

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

yeah

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

gross

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

……..

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

no

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

I’m a lesbian. It practically comes with the title

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

no, but at the beginning of the friendship with my ex my parents didn’t like her at all

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

not really

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

hahahaha…. yeah

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

bitch u bet ur ass I have

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

48 hours give or take a few seconds

43. How long was your longest relationship?

one week lmao

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

………….one

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012?

I think I was still in middle school? everybody knows you don’t overcome cooties until you’re in high school

47. How old are you?

20

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

if we’re dating? “bye bitch”if it’s just a crush? “cool, go get ‘em tiger” (and then depending on how close I am to them, I might be sad a while)

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

I love how she just…………. doesn’t exist

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

FUCK NO. I’d probably punch her in the face tbqh

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

maybe? hmm probably not.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

I give up on crushes all the time. I feel like that’s just part of crushes in general.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

all h//eterophobes

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

see aforementioned Shit List

55. Share a relationship story.

uh after my ex and I broke up we went to a froyo shop down the street from my school and it was really awkward bc we were trying to be friends still after a rough breakup and then one of the employees came by and was like “hey can I take your picture and post it to our facebook?” bc they wanted us as models or something I guess? and we kinda just look at each other and go “……no”

57. Things you want to say to an ex

a. fuck you

b. I hope he treated you as bad as you treated me

c. you’re literally the scum of the earth

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

a. cuddles

b. going out of the way to do something nice for me

c. gifts of any kind, especially hand-made stuff

d. remembering little details about me

e. attention

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

ok I’ll do that after I post thisI know I have something conrad tagged me in about pics of myself so I’ll do those together

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

I think it’s just been a 1 year gap

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

their sense of style

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

love me with all of their heart 👌😩

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

well, when two people love each other very much……..

64. What is your definition of cheating?

damn, even just thinking of another person romantically

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

connect 4

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

does d&d count?

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

a n y t h i n g

as long as I can spend time w my date I’m happy

68. What is your sexual orientation?

lesbian

69. What turns you off?

anything phallic

70. What turns you on?

a lightswitch

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

die for me 😍

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

I luv…… hair….. it’s always so good-looking 👌

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

alison always makes me super nice handmade gifts and it’s so nice

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I legitimately can’t think of anything, sorry

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

there’s definitely an acceptable range. and it varies, especially as one gets older (like 20-25 seems weird, but 40-45 doesn’t seem too bad)

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

I used to lay on the ground all the time at my high school. the floor is pretty dirty tbh.

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

senior year of high school.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

never. (unless like friend/family love, which would be today, ~2 hours ago?)

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Teresa Palmer, Cara Delevingne, Diane Guerrero, Yael Grobglas, Grace Victoria Cox

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

my roommate probably

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

……you know, this whole time I never really understood the question, but now that it’s 4am I get it. yeah. in fact, that’s probably one of the only ways I can find girls to date.