#me: ''i'm not going to type a novel'' *proceeds to type a novel*

[spockandawe]

You know what I can't get enough of? Speculation about what the fictional novel Proud Immortal Demon Way says about its fictional author. Because it would be completely possible to make a story like this without that connection. I'm not sure I've read any other transmigration story where the author was a character, so just that addition adds a lot of interesting texture to the situation even without getting deep in the author's head, but it's so interesting how deep I can speculate in so many directions if I think about getting in his head.

And oh man, I could talk for AGES about how Shang Qinghua and his iconic protagonist reflect each other, but a lot of people have written about that already! Including in the medium of fic, which is my favorite way to consume that kind of crunch. So let's talk about familial neglect and mistreatment and the author's favorite character.

Honestly, when I look at how iconic this ship is, I'm astonished there aren't more hit novels where the author gets yeeted into their own book and has to navigate platonic or romantic relationships with their own characters. A lot of the parallels between Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe are about them being alike in ugly and vulnerable ways, ways I don't think either of them likes about themselves, and regarding aspects of their personalities that I don't think they'd be happy discussing period. Like, Binghe very much hates himself, that's right there on the page. And Shang Qinghua is a ridiculous character, he's very funny, but he's also not stupid. He's very aware of who he is and what he is, and makes a decision to behave the ways he does. I'm typing this up because I was scrolling through an old chat looking for something and tripped across a conversation about shang qinghua and fawn trauma response.

He knows he does this thing! He has an easy opening to turbokill Mobei-jun while he's unconscious and decides to go the route of begging for his life and trying to ingratiate himself after Mobei-jun wakes up instead, which is a much trickier process. He says it himself, that Mobei-jun is his ideal, that he embodies everything Shang Qinghua wants to be, that etc. And that's hilarious and all, especially in light of the eventual romance and the clownery it takes to get there, but in classic svsss fashion, it also becomes a lot sadder when you add up all the pieces and see everything Shang Qinghua hates about himself.

In some ways he's an even more avoidant narrator than Shen Qingqiu, he deflects and jokes like a motherfucker, so it really is a matter of assembling all the pieces and seeing where there are gaps. But what really underscored the connection for me was Mobei-jun's reaction to parental neglect. Because that's what pushed Shang Qinghua into being an author in the first place, his parents divorced and remarried and kinda just.... forgot about him.

Mobei-jun's dad doesn't exactly do that, but he is operating without a mom in the picture, and rather than remarrying, he just chooses to ignore the thing where his shitty brother is persistently trying to kill his son. That really sucks! But Mobei-jun never shows the smallest hint of weakness or vulnerability over this, even when it would have really helped to use his words, like 'hi my uncle is coming to kill me and i trust you to protect me.' He's everything cool, aloof, arrogant, proud, all a bunch of adjectives that really do not apply to Shang Qinghua. Mobei-jun honestly looks like a boring character if you just stick to the main story, because he's so self-contained and controlled. Compare and contrast to Shang Qinghua, who accidentally outs himself as a transmigrator like two minutes after showing up and proceeds to be hilarious for the rest of the book.

(Brief aside to say that I don't think Mobei-jun is necessarily a happier or healthier person for all of this, lmao. The conversation that fawn reaction thing came from was talking about freeze (tee hee) versus fawn in response to threats or stressful situations. But that goes along with the svsss theme of people used to engaging with this universe as a fictional property coming to terms with the depth and complexity of other people's emotions and not just seeing them as simplistic not-real characters in a book)

(Additionally, this makes the ship hilarious as a take on 'opposites attract,' but also it gives me actual Emotions that Shang Qinghua's ideal who he wishes he could be, purely incidentally, he is able to value and love Shang Qinghua in a way that Shang Qinghua can't and doesn't seem to totally understand)

And what's very interesting here. Is that Shang Qinghua made these two characters, Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun. His protagonist ultimately reflects a lot of his own vulnerabilities and insecurities (secretly and quietly in pidw, much more.... overtly in svsss), and Mobei-jun corrects for his vulnerabilities and insecurities. He's the person Shang Qinghua wishes he could be, which is basically... the opposite of Shang Qinghua, to an almost comical degree. And he then gives Mobei-jun the VERY BEST plot armor he can devise. It's hard for a male character to exist near a stallion protagonist without getting swept up in rivalries/suspicions/etc and getting killed by the protagonist, but he makes sure that his favorite character is safe from these things. He's protecting the character he wishes he could be from the character whose faults most reflect his own. That is very sweet and weird and sad, and that's very reflective of the svsss experience, I think.

[thelureking]

I had this idea to make a list of all the games I played in 2022, half as a recommendation list, and half because I struggle to remember when I played what. I have a really bad time ranking stuff, so I'll just list them chronologically (or, as chronologically as I can remember).

Note: Sometimes I dont have a lot to say about a game, but that doesnt mean I didn't like it or that it isn't good.

So, with that being said:

1) Our Life: Beginnings and Always

This game has put visual novels on another level entirely. How must I go on knowing that I will never be treated like royalty by any other game like this did. Our Life tells the story of your friendship and/or romance with Cove Holden, your new neighbor. This Visual Novel remembers an insane amount of stuff you choose, and it can put you in the state of mentioning something you did as a kid that you completely forgot about. I actually really liked how you can go the entire game as just friends, or choose when your character develops romantic feelings. I cannot overstate how well made this entire thing is. Can't wait to play the DLCs and for the sequel to be released.

Absolute recommend.

2) Iron Lung

If you have a computer, you can play it. It is not an option.

Claustrophobic above all, this game captures the pure dread of the unknown, building tension and atmosphere as you travel through this unknown planet's red sea. Highly recommended.

3) An Outcry

Amazing game that I don't see enough people talking about. The first game that made me actually physically ill while playing an alternative route. I don't know what hit me the most, the subject matter or the type of person I played in that route, a person I know exists and maybe I've met, a person I hope I never become. I knew what the game was specifically referencing, but I found it good that it was able to trigger that response on someone who lives in an entirely different place, with different historical events, but with enough similarities that made the feeling of dread and disgust that much real. Its message is clear and loud as it should be, and one that I think maybe now more than ever needs to be heard. I cannot recommend this game enough.

4) Stillwater

Now this is a Visual Novel that I really liked and would have loved for it to be longer, but I love it as it is. It left me wanting more about the world and its characters, and I think that's a good thing. It feels unfair that this is the one I typed the least about, knowing how much I liked it. It's really worth the read/play.

5) The Caribbean Sail

Have you ever wanted to be a sailor or a pirate? Have you ever wanted to grab a ship, sail into unknown destinations, encounter supernatural phenomenons and watch as your fellow crew members die of disentry five seconds after leaving your first port? Because if so, I have the perfect game for you. It's inspired by the Oregon Trail game, and that's literally what the gameplay is like, except on the sea. Which was enough of a selling point for me.

6) Carrion

My child, it has every disease. Loved the concept when I saw the trailer, forgot I can actually buy games now, and then proceeded to do that. Being able to live my fantasies of being a flesh creature that destroys and eats everything in its path was a delight. The creature is my child and I love it very much.

We need more games that let you play as the monster, I'm serious.

7) The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante

This game is both my beloved and the thorn on my side. Who would have thought that in a game like this you would proceed to suffer through life? I said to myself as if I hadn't known what I was getting into. You'll experience loss, you'll struggle to make a name for yourself, your family will fall apart, and you may never kiss your best friend Tommas who gave you a totally platonic ring to commemorate your friendship because the game doesn't want you to.

Or you'll have a different experience than me on my first playthrough.

You follow the titular Sir Brante from the moment of his birth to his last breath, exploring the world he lives in, full of injustices that at times made me go "I do not care about the lots, give me a fucking gun so I can take you to the fucking Twins". There are many branches regarding life paths, the fate of your family and that of the entire city you live in. But don't worry about it now, keep looking at those toy soldiers at the store as a little kid, I'm sure nothing will happen in the future.

8) Princess Maker 2 Refine

And apparently I didn't get enough of walking a kid through life.

Who looks at a game about raising a little girl by managing her monthly schedule and balancing her stats, health and money and says "yes, this is the game I'll play to destress"?

I do that. Don't ask why.

I have only reached two endings, in one my beautiful daughter became the royal painter, her art held as the most beautiful and inspiring in the entire world. In another, my girl made a name for herself by exploring the lands surrounding the kingdom, so fast on her feet nobody could even scratch her; she married a dragon prince and became the teacher of her own fighting school.

And even with all of that, her goddess mother was not happy.

So yes, this is the "divorced dad who got custody" experience.

9) Planescape: Torment

What can change the nature of a man? That is a question posed by one Ravel Puzzlewell, night hag of the Gray Wastes. It is one of the many questions that this game asks, intertwined by the many philosophies it presents. Planescape Torment does not stick to one question, it asks many, and it lets you answer.

It is a beautifully written game, one of the best I have ever read. There is one moment that I do not wish to spoil, but it still sticks to my head months after I experienced it. As a writer, I found myself fascinated by how a certain event was told, all because of the way it was presented.

It feels like an injustice to not talk in length about Planescape: Torment, but I seriously don't want to spoil anyone who hasn't played it yet. A blind experience is fully worth it. All you need to know is that this is the game that made me post for the first time here, two dumb memes for myself and one short analysis that sometimes reminds me that yes, people can interact with it. Shameless link to it here

10) Growing my Grandpa!

If I had to describe this game without saying too much, I would say it's "heartwarming horror". Two words that don't usually go together, but that they perfectly fit here. The story is, like the title says, about growing your grandpa, more like helping a girl grow her grandpa, but still. Strangely sweet and unnerving, I was tense the entire time, and even when I had to replay it to get the second ending (this was entirely my fault, since I could have gotten it way easier) that tension never left.

11) FAITH: The Unholy Trinity

I don't remember how I found out about this game, but I remember waiting patiently for it to get a steam release so I could buy it and play its three chapters all together. The day finally came, and all that waiting was worth it.

The gameplay is simple, yet the developers found a way to have me both crying in fear and frothing by the mouth out of anger every time I saw the game over screen (affectionately). In terms of difficulty, I would say the game is easy until it isn't, looking at you Chapter 2 and 3 Final Bosses, you bastards. Then again, I saw people say they struggled in places I didn't, so I would say it depends on the player.

The story is so interesting and it's still marinating in my brain please I need people to talk about how the prologue of chapter 2 and the one note in chapter 3 relate please. The cutscenes are also so well done, and I had to restrain myself from using one as a second picture because I didn't want to spoil any of them.

All in all, a must play, fully recommend it.

And remember:

GARY LOVES YOU

12) Inmortal Mantis

This is a tricky one. On one hand, the game starts off by basically spelling out every action you have to do, and suddenly it goes full on "fuck around and find out" mode. On the other, the game implements some interesting mechanics that I would love to see developed on a longer game, but I am not going to put the length against it while knowing how hard it is to make a game. And maybe being short plays in its favor.

13) Who's Lila?

This game is my King in Yellow. I cannot stop thinking about it. I finished it with all endings and achievements in a day, and it wont leave me alone. It is always there, forever crawling at the back of my head, stretching itself over my brain and weaving my thoughts into a spiral as easily as a spider weaves its thread. It made itself a home in my mind and I won't kick it out any time soon. I played it because the concept of controlling a character's face in place of a dialogue wheel was interesting, and the story and the way it's presented (hand in hand with the gameplay) lured me deeper and deeper. I cannot even describe it without giving it the praise it deserves. It takes full advantage of its medium. Playing this game is an experience that I can't recommend enough, and I'm surprised it hasn't gotten the recognition it deserves.

14) Someone stole MY LUNCH!

This visual novel is pure fun. The humor is so good I found myself reading the entire thing out loud while wheezing. I actually found out recently that it's made by the same people that made Stillwater, which, looking at it now I should have known. It's good and I'm not still over not seeing that one joke coming; well played.

15) MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF MILK INSIDE OF A BAG OF-

... INSIDE A BAG OF MILK is a short visual novel about a girl going to the grocery to buy milk, and the challenge this seemingly small action can be. It is your responsibility to help her through this.

The steam page description perfectly summarizes it: "This is an artistic manipulation with word and form, only then - a game."

Reblog with more games

Or, you can jump to the 2023 list!

[kit-williams]

Cuckoo Anon

Firmly assuming this would be non Canon but this popped in my head and I Must spread it!

Everybody Here is 21+

You know those kinda cheesy romance novels you see in the book/magazine sections of stores?

With handsome, sometimes shirtless, men holding collapsing women in long silk gowns? With titles like The Highlander's Woman or Drowned by Temptation.

...You have to turn your eyes away with a blush as you walk past the book section in your local grocery store.

Astarte romance novels, a Whole new genre has popped up over night and you are Not coping well.

They range in subject and Marine type, Taming the Chaos, Renegade Revelry, His Loyalty Abounds.

Oh lord you are So embarrassed but you can't look away! Or rather you keep flitting your eyes trying to not look, only for them to get pulled back.

The photography for them was honestly immaculate, and that makes you both respect the artist, and loath them all at once.

Good lord, you should just hurry up before Your Astartes gets back from finding his items.

Then again...a quick peak wouldn't hurt. Just for curiosity! In fact you'll Only read the description! Not actually going to read about...that kind of stuff with a Space Marine.

You reach for the shelf.

"Hrm?"

"Eep!" You jump at a familiar grumbling greeting behind you. Whipping around you see your Astarte, with him is a cart full of items he'd set out to retrieve. His posture portrays confusion at your sudden outburst.

Your embarrassment doubles, and your blush erupts filling your face and neck with heat. "Ah h-hey b-buddy! Don't sneak up on me like that! You almost made me jump out my skin! Hahaha." You try to play it off, while blocking his view of the shelves that must not be named.

Your Astartes still looks confused. He tries to peak around your body.

You move to intercept. "Ah hey! Did you find all you stuff?? Great! Great! Let's head home I'm pretty ti-ERD!" You yelp as you big fella gently picks you up and places you to the side.

"Wait No No No! Don't look!" He holds you back just using one arm as if blocking a pet trying to snatch something off a plate.

You can't bear to watch and cover your face with your hands. Maybe he won't understand the titles? Oh please let him not understand your written language! He has eyes doesn't he? He'll clearly be able to see you were eying books about handsome space marines sweeping mortals off their feet. You're pretty sure Astartes can understand Context Clues!

"Hrm..." Your woken from your dooming as your marine grunts again, and you peak through your hands. He's  straightening his posture, and he's-he's got something in his hand.

He'd plucked one of those FORSAKEN romance novels off the shelf, then without another word, places it in the cart.

He then sets the cart in the right direction, and with an exceptional gentleness brings his ceramite clad arm behind your person to usher you foreward.

Curiosity, though baneful to you already, bids you look at which one he'd grabbed. Perhaps he thought you wanted it and were too embarrassed to ask. The thought makes want to melt into the floor.

Until what you see surprises you. The book in question doesn't feature your marine type on the cover, not even a similar faction. But the human model does share some physical qualities with...you??

You glance up at your Astartes as you walk. He glances to you, and...the arm behind you moves from simply nudging you along, to being gently but tenderly wrapped around your form, bringing you closer to him.

You blush for an all New reason, as your space marine continues to proceed to the checkout.

Maybe...maybe those novels aren't so bad after all.

I like to think a lot of these are penned by either people fucking/getting fucked by their Astartes OR are written by Astartes themselves. Oh sure you'd expect the far more SPICY novellas to be written by either noise marines or Chaos space marines dedicated to Slaanesh right but then there's one or two that's being written by a Black Templar with a pen name and a whole god damn author persona because he would rather flog himself publicly naked then let anyone know he's the one writing those erotica level novellas about a Chaos Space Marine seeking redemption and using the power of love as a way to heal, and of course the other series he writes about some mortal and a Black Templar.

Of course I also see the grocery store romance novellas also sometimes being set back home usually just either sticking to a single location but given the scale of 40k that either single fortress monastery or battlecruiser is large enough to contain the plot. Also you bed your britches that for those photography ones that got some battle brother from that specific warband/chapter/legion to pose because if you're going to have a trashy cover and use photographs and not god damn paintings that they use to have then its going to be accurate. (Its the Emperor's Children... both Loyal and Chaos who handle this)((Occasionally the Blood Angels))

As for you dear reader... how cheesy some of these stories can be though sometimes they have a habit of veering off into borderline horror at times with how grim and dark some plot lines can get. Sure if you pick one up about and probably written by a Chaos Space Marine there might be a likely hood of casual sacrifices being mentioned though bless the editors and publishers for making sure those stories are properly tagged. However, even the darker novellas tend to follow the 'power of love' trope, the guy gets the gal, etc. (For better or worse in the case of Night Lord stalker and/or yandere romance/erotica novellas)

Goodness me what started out as one or two books has amassed into a collection... and you don't think you can find anymore to add to it when you clearly get ahold of a story written for an Astartes verses a human. How can you tell? Well besides it being written in gothic and from what you've been able to translate how it is written in a very different style... but far more focused on the mortal. Perhaps like with the different types of marines they've got stories that focus on the mortal?

You can't say only speculate as your Astartis refuses to answer you. But how are you to know he's been writing about you and all the filthy things he would love to do to you. Basing the pair in his books, for both mortals and Astartes, off of the two of you. But who can say... its only speculation.

Tag list: @bispecsual @egrets-not-regrets @moodymisty @bleedingichorhearts @liar-anubiass-blog @thevoidscreams @barn-anon

[silviakundera]

Me : Hasn't watched a single drama from 2024 because I was too busy

Me: Goes to mydramalist to find something romantic to watch and starts reading comments on all the stuff that seems interesting sees that for almost every one of these fall into one of two camps the first one which houses the majority of shows the comments are exclusively about the guy and how much of a simp or green flag he is (their words not mine) the second category is people are criticizing the show for portraying an uneven dynamic where the fl treats the ml like shit

Me: backs away slowly and goes back to my binge watch of star trek deep space nine

Idk what it is if it's the writing or the different type of fans or a combination of both all I know I'm very confused 🤔 have we fallen into a different timeline ? Parallel universe? Have screens cooked our brains completely?

my friend, your first mistake was raw dogging the comments section on MDL 🙈😂😭 gotta proceed with caution these days 🚧🚧🚧🚧

but I got you. If you want to dip your toes back into 2024 cdramas romances,

* Legend of Shen Li is almost universally liked. I don't know that I encountered a real hater. Don't turn that into sky high expectations that can't be met, though. It's simply a solid xanxia romance with a very strong landing - 1 full length episode dedicated to the happy ending, instead of the xanxia standard 1 minute. The most high god in the universe x demon general who is engaged to heaven's notorious playboy that's terrified of her. and who is temporarily a chicken. (just go with it) The main couple have chemistry & are very capable actors. Rarely do I make it thru a xanxia without ever being consumed with rage at some awful thing the plot has one of the main couple perpetrate on the other... but this one passed! The main actress is convincing as an immortal warrior.

* Blossoms in Adversity is NOT universally liked, tbh it got almost no traction on tumblr. But despite all its flaws I found myself watching it eagerly. I am a sucker for historical costume dramas with feminist themes - if you enjoyed Dream of Splendor, this one might appeal. After all the men in the family are exiled and they are stripped of their noble status, the main wives, concubines, children, and servants of a large official's household have to figure out a way to survive on their own. Without the guidance (and yoke) of men. The strength of the drama is that it isn't easy - these women are not all kind & smart & selfless. They're complicated people and a product of their environment. But watching them slowly come together was so satisfying, and how all the women begin to explore an identity beyond the strict roles they held in that manor. It's so direct about how much power men had over their wives in that era and what that means for these women. The main otp will appeal if you like ships of 2 mature adults who have their own goals and respect each other as equals, who are supportive but don't step on each other's independence. The FL's practicality was so pleasing to me. It just dropped it's final episodes via Express.

* The Spirealm available legally now on Viki, if your tastes run to censored gay romance. And if you like mystery/ horror and like fiction that asks, what is reality (and does the definition of 'real' matter). Like in korean bl Love for Love's Sake, the protagonist enters a game world and ends up caring about that world. (unlike LFLS, a distinct lack of kissing with tongue)

* In Blossom - Chinese het web novel vibes just exploding onto the screen. Childhood sweathearts torn apart years ago, now he's a rich noble while she's poor but he still wants to marry her as promised. (She is less sure about this.... then she gets her body swapped by this crazy chick who really REALLY wants to marry the ML. who, ooops gets murdered on their wedding night.) So now FL is in crazy chick's body and the #1 suspect for her gruesome murder is ML, that childhood sweetheart who showed up out of the blue to propose. and happens to be the top candidate in running to marry the crown princess 🤔🤔🤔 . She thinks he (tried to) kill her. He thinks she's dead and hates the lady she's stuck impersonating. Spoiler: they fall in love.

* Amidst a Snowstorm of Love - Slice of life soft cdrama, if you like that kind of thing. Developing relationship for like 30 episodes about 2 professional snooker players. Relaxing vibes, sweet romance. They're both kind, talented, and capable. They're good for each other and really humanly awkward about starting a relationship. You don't watch this kinda drama for dramatic tension, you just chill with it and wind down after a hard day. It's baked-in that they'll get married at the end.

[8bitsupervillain]

Higurashi When They Cry Hou Ch. 7 Minagoroshi pt. 4

Shortly after this scene at the Irie Clinic Rika and Satoko are off to the local game store to play their board game tournament like they did at the start of Watanagashi.

Seriously, the original art for Hanyuu makes her look like such a pathetic creature, just a real sad sack. Which I guess is a perfectly in-line look to have given her character is a rather gloomy apathetic individual. Hanyuu throughout the early stages of the chapter is constantly telling Rika to not get her hopes up and to basically assume that nothing about her fate is going to change at all ever.

A good portion of the board game tourney here is spent with Rika just overcome with a despair over how repetitious and pointless it all seems. It doesn't really get into it, but there's the distinct impression that she's lived through this tournament a fair number of times throughout the hundred plus year span she's been stuck in the loop. Also for some reason there's an odd change in the dialogue during this section. Rika tells Keiichi that he'll wind up playing the game Billionaire with his group, but when the store owner brings out the game it's a copy of the Game of Life. Which Rika acts like is normal, telling Keiichi that this is how fate always seems to shake out whenever they do this gaming tournament. Keiichi then decides basically, nuts to that and requests a different game for him and his group. Instead of Billionaire/Game of Life, the three play a game called pop-up pirate. Which is a game where you stab little swords into a barrel that has a pirate guy in it. This small change in fate inspires Rika to request a change to her groups game as well. It doesn't say what they change it to, but they do.

This small change in destiny made the visual novel then proceeds to skip over the game tournament. Presumably it happens the same as it did previously. I know Hanyuu is trying to keep Rika's expectations low so she doesn't get hurt by the lack of significant changes in her fate, but I do wonder how she perceives the small microscopic alterations to events like the above. Later on Hanyuu acts like these changes of events won't actually affect anything in the long run, and she advocates a "let's just let nature run its course" type of approach to Rika's situation. But I wonder if she's secretly slightly thrilled at the minor changes because it drags Rika temporarily out of her deep gloom.

It's now after the tournament, when the shop owner gives everyone, sans Mion a doll. I was surprised here because the visual novel offers a choice between whether Rika should try to influence events and convince Keiichi to give Mion the doll, or to observe.

I don't know if there will be ramifications further down the line, but choosing either option results in the same dialogue playing out for the most part. If you go with the try to influence Keiichi option there's a few lines extra about how he seems somewhat aware of your interjection, but otherwise it plays out the same.

I like the insinuation here that Hanyuu might not actually be Oyashiro. Who she would actually be is an interesting question I think, I'm pretty sure she is actually Oyashiro, but the idea that she's just some random horned weirdo who hangs out with Rika is also pretty amusing. Just some divine entity hanging out with the reincarnation of Oyashiro for a lark.

Oh yeah, also in this version of the universe Shion is in Keiichi and so on's class. It seems to be taking place in the hallucination Shion had before she died at the end of Meakashi.

Something that's been slightly bothering me since it came up in Tsumihoroboshi, and gets brought up again here is the change of the food they put the needle in from Onikakushi. They mentioned it was Ohagi, and it just struck me as wrong, because it was something else originally, I thought. So I went back and checked, sure enough in Onikakushi Mion mentions that they made mochi for Keiichi. Now I know this is a really extremely minor thing to get distracted by, but I am just sort of curious about the change here. According to the release dates on GOG and Steam there was four years between the chapters, and maybe it's more accurate this way or something. But there's been quite a few little changes in various aspects of the plots from chapter to chapter. The difference in the corpse tunnel in Watanagashi to Meakashi still being the largest one. It's not really affecting my enjoyment of the series, just a little oddity I've noticed.

Also did I mention Shion's back? She's back, in supporting cast form. And boy howdy do I have some opinions about some actions she takes later on.

[songofsaraneth]

Hello! What's the deal with the gryphon in the new dragon age game? I'm tempted to play it only for it

hehe YEAH! So the Lore about griffons (<- this is the spelling they use in the games so im just goin with it) in Dragon Age is that there's a specific group of knights who used to ride/raise them. They're called the Grey Wardens, and they are an order dedicated to watching for/preventing a special type of magical plague that occasionally breaks out called a blight. Each blight ends up with hordes of infected creatures ("darkspawn") accompanied by a "archdemon" which is essentially a giant dragon corrupted by this plague who proceeds to try to destroy the world, and the Grey Wardens job is to stop it from doing that. During one such miserable period they found out they infected their griffons with the blight, they became REALLY VIOLENTLY GOOD at killing the darkspawn, but then the griffons would die after within a few months :(

To be fair, all the Wardens are also infected with the blight too, just in a way that it takes them really really slowly compared to everyone else. so they're "immune" in the sense of already having it, and will die from it eventually but not lose their minds like if a general person got infected. So it was kind of a natural thing to be like "well what if we try putting the griffons through this" rather than just like animal abuse for fun or anything. They were all really sad their friends the griffons died but at the time it was viewed as the only way to stop that current archdemon from destroying the world, which it did, and then the order tried to rebuild itself without having any of the griffons left.

HOWEVER there was a SECRET CLUCTH OF GRIFFON EGGS that were not infected, and were put into suspended animation to protect them. Eventually (during the timeline we get to in the games) they were found, and raised in secret away from everyone else. So while we don't see them in the first 3 games, from the DA tie-in novels we know they're slowly growing up. So in the new game Veilguard, one of your companions, Davrin, belongs to the Grey Warden order, and discovers one of these baby griffons. He adopts it and names him Assan (arrow in elvish)! So if you go out with Davrin, Assan will come along, and has his own attacks, moves, etc :) I do hope we get more griffon lore in the game to go with him but I've been avoiding spoilers so can't say how deep it'll go. But yeah the assumption is you get Assan fairly early and so he can come around with you for a lot of the game, though I think only while you also have Davrin out with you too (<-might be wrong though someone can correct me there if so).

[psychiccent]

I have a confession. I found it hard to witness poor baby Akane missing/mourning Ko during Season 2 and skipped a lot of those scenes. Now I regret it because I am 100% sure that we are gonna get to see Ko go through something similar in the next installment. Akane CAN'T be the only one drawing comfort from familiar scents and whatnot. This man will smile and soften up at the MENTION of Akane Tsunemori. Heck, it's been stated in novels how he came to the realization of what all he had lost in his pursuit of Makishima when he HEARS HER VOICE OVER THE PHONE. I want more of THAT to manifest as the story proceeds. There is a yearning for closeness w/ Akane that Ko exudes whenever she is involved, and my own HC is that he also clings to those physical manifestations of her. In the PP Movie, Ko recognized who she was immediately, and seeing her face only came after their brief scuffle. I would safely assume body type helped him figure that out, but her SCENT would have been a key, identifying factor as well, and no one can convince me otherwise. There have been more than a few instances where we can assume Ko got to indulge in Akane's natural fragrance (bridal carries, shared car rides, etc.) like the good boi doggo he is, so I'm sure Ko knows it well by now. Thanks for coming to my Psycho-Talk.

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things Runaway Max Review (2/3)

If you haven't yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews. Like, Reblog, and let me know what your thoughts are regarding the show or the upcoming season! :)

Stranger Things Comics/Graphic Novels:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into The Fire

Stranger Things Science Camp

Stranger Things “The Game Master” and “Erica’s Quest”

Stranger Things and Dungeons and Dragons

Stranger Things Kamchatka

Stranger Things Erica The Great

Stranger Things “Creature Feature” and “Summer Special”

Stranger Things Tie-In Books:

Stranger Things Suspicious Minds

Part 3: Max and her Parents

One theme centered around Max that's prevalent in the book and the show is how many people keep trying to mold her into the person they think she should be rather than accepting her as the person she is. They want her to act a certain way they deem acceptable, and then get upset and proceed to shame/belittle her when she resists. Nowhere is that more present than with Max's mom, her step-dad and her step-brother.

Let's start with the worst of them: Neil Hargrove.

I doubt I'm saying anything new by claiming Neil's a real piece of work. If you thought he was bad on the show for the 3 minutes of screentime he had, your opinion of him isn't going to improve when you read this book.

I know there are people in the fandom who've questioned whether Neil ever physically abused Max the same way he did with Billy. From how the book depicts it, the answer for the most part seems to be no. There is a scene though where he grabs Max in a way she isn't okay with, and it's heavily implied that if Max had been a boy, he would have hit her in that moment:

His treatment of Max runs on threats (both spoken and unspoken) and emotional abuse. He's constantly disrespectful towards her (deliberately calling her Maxine when he knows she'd prefer to be called Max), pushes her away from activities she likes in favor of ones he thinks girls her age should be doing, intentionally cuts her off from seeing her biological dad (the one person she feels safe being around at the time), and is constantly awful to her. Everything about Neil's treatment of Max is just as dehumanizing as his treatment of Billy is.

Adding on to this, Neil's behavior is shown to be deeply sexist and misogynistic. It's not in the "sleazy womanizing" way Billy acts towards the girls he dates, but the way Neil gets his claws into Susan reminds me of the type of guys people post about on the subreddit for r/niceguys where they initially act pleasant before dropping the facade to show how entitled and unpleasant they truly are. Max at one point notes that Billy's attitude towards women likely comes from his father, and that the only reason Billy doesn't treat her the way he treats the girls he dates is because Max doesn't act in the stereotypical way Billy expects girls to behave.

Max is smart enough to figure out that this isn't a sign of respect from Billy. Like his dad, Billy expects Max to act the way he wants her to. The classic abuser molding the people they abuse into the person they want them to be. Neil has done it to Billy, and Billy spends most of the book trying to do this to Max.

Getting back to Neil, there's also this tibbit regarding his political affiliations in 1984:

Putting aside his love for Reagan for a minute here, it's noteworthy that he immediately talks over Susan in this moment before she can offer an opinion. He says there will be no political talk at dinner..........and then proceeds to talk about politics at dinner and demands everyone is on board with his stance.

In short, Neil has no respect for women (notice how he refers to Ferraro as "that lady"), he has no respect for Max, and he especially has no respect for Susan who is supposed to be his wife.

Speaking of Susan...........she is a frustrating person. I don't hate her, but she's hard to like. She is the kind of person who lets others walk all over her, often to the detriment of Max. Prior to her meeting Neil, it's mentioned by Max that Susan had a history of dating men who were straight up losers. They either mooched off Susan, or cheated on her:

Neil managed to stick around by charming the pants off Susan, and presenting himself as an "old-fashioned gentleman" to make himself stand out from the rest of the guys she dated. It worked, they got together, and everything went downhill from there. Neil saw a woman whom he could make into a Stepford Wife, and he got it. Max talks about how her mom disappears into the personality of every guy she dates, and that's exactly what happened when she and Neil hooked up. One of the most gut-wrenching moments in the book is the first time Max sees Neil hit Billy while Susan and Max are there, and Max realizes her mom wasn't remotely horrified by Neil's behavior:

General consensus in the fandom (even for those who haven't read this book) is that Susan was complicit in the abuse Max and Billy suffered, and she pretty much was. She didn't physically abuse them, or even get emotionally abusive, but she didn't do anything to stop Neil's reign of terror either. Max still loves her mother regardless of this, but she's never forgotten how passive her mom acted when she needed her to be strong:

There's only one moment in the book where Susan actually covers for Billy, and that's when she catches Billy and Max smoking in the garage and is furious with Billy for trying to get Max addicted to cigarettes. However, the moment Neil shows up and demands to know what's going on, she lies to Neil on Billy's behalf. Max sums it up as such:

It doesn't make up for all the times Susan refused to step in, but it's at least worth mentioning this for the record.

In any case though, it's pretty clear Susan will go along with what Neil wants, even if it's at the expense of Max's happiness. There are a few moments in the book showcasing that she does love her daughter to the best of her ability, but they're so few and fleeting that it's more sad than heartwarming.

Finally, there's Sam Mayfield, Max's biological dad. He is better than Neil and Susan, but that's not really a high bar to clear. I wouldn't necessarily say he's a deadbeat dad the same way Lonnie Byers is, but he isn't winning any "Father of the Year" awards in the near future.

On the one hand, he does care for Max, and Max speaks about him positively compared to how she talks about Neil:

He even gives her genuinely good advice that helps protect Max whenever she's in an embarrassing situation:

However, while all of this sounds cool on the surface, there's a deeper problem with Sam Mayfield: He acts more like Max's friend instead of acting like the father he's supposed to be. He's not interested in getting a full-time job to provide for Max, or even improving his living conditions, which are not ideal for raising a 13 year old girl. In a way, he's chosen his side-projects and gigs over her. He isn't a bad person, but he also isn't the kind of person that can provide Max with the stability she needs. There are two different points where Max seriously considers running away to her dad's house to escape the hellish situation under Neil's roof, and she's forced to realize that even if she did move in with him, it wouldn't fix the problems back at home, and her quality of living might not improve under her dad.

And finally...........we have Billy. 😒

To be continued in Part 3.......

[bugcatcherwill]

wanted to drop some shit because I've once again reworked my monster designs and I am doodling fanart AS I'M TYPIGN

I like to think that after each of their respective little adventures to the corners of Hyrule that the monsters might have little trinkets and accessories from those respective regions,,, mostly I just like glamming up my designs a bit but I think it would be sweet too,,,

I think Zayl already had that neckerchief thingy or whatever it's called from Sidon but I like to imagine the Zora in Kakariko sneaking it little trinkets from the Domain since it never got a huge chance to look at those types of things,,, I like to draw it with fancy silver jewelry that Sidon and co. grabbed for it !! I could talk about Zayl all day actually I love it so much,, wonderful creature

My new Sledge design comes back from Goron City with little rudimentary ornaments of rope and metal and some fancy rocks,,, I think it should be able to take home a few things since it was so welcome in the City and made a nice impression on the Gorons even when like. who doesn't unless they're being a dick. I love the Gorons they're so chill I can't wait for Sledge to get to hang out with them more

Kobb having little tufts of fur tied with Rito style clasps and braids and stuff,, maybe even some of the daisies/dandelions [I FORGOT IF IT WAS MAKING A DAISY CHAIN OR A DANDELION CHAIN WITH THE RITO KIDS,,, AUGH] from when it was hanging out with the little ones !! Maybe the goggles from its duel with Thrush,, I don't think it'd get to keep those but they're cute to draw it with so whagever <3

Rezek is such a diva. That Wizzrobe serves levels of cunt that shouldn't be possible idk if it's obvious but Rezek is such a special little creature to me,, besides the earring it got in Gerudo Town I like to draw it with flashy gold rings and bangles just for the hell of it. Rezek seems like it would meticulously remove every piece of jewelry it's wearing, politely hand it to someone else, and then proceed to walk away and beat the shit out of someone. I'm not sure how to draw the more human-like of Hyrule's people [which is why I haven't drawn as much of Link and everyone else as I would have liked lol] but I gave my Riju and Rezek designs matching gold bracelets like Riju took one of hers off and gave it to Rezek [like this] just because. I like them a lot

anyways sorry for the mile long ask I just really like doodling these fhcking DUMBASSES [affectionate]

YES

YES TO ALL OF THIS

THESE ARE ALL SUCH GOOD IDEAS OMG

This is like...........if RATC was a show/graphic novel this would ABSOLUTELY be something I'd consider

Just the monsters gradually getting more and more of an identity and taking a little something with them of everywhere they've been

Especially Zayl in the Zora metal frame/adornments would go unbelievably hard omg. It needs some bling!!!!!

I really like thinking about how like...........Lizalfos already have their own Zora-esque armor, where it covers parts of their body as acts as the "clothes". They have pretty neat parallels between each other but Zayl with those Sidon-bracelets would be spiffy as all hell

That's reminding me of how yea I really gotta include the Gorons in more scenes especially when their meeting with Sledge went.....the best it possibly could've. They're just the forever homies you KNOW they're still talking about the show Sledge put on back in Goron City.

The rock motif for it would work well too because of Sledge's namesake ooooooo this bangs,,,

Kobb with goggles is just canon hasdfjhksa. I don't think the ones it had were from the duel (I should've) but any excuse to have Kobb is goggles is a win for me. That's kinda why I did exactly that in the shorter Hebra-flying chapter LMAO

It's just so cute thinking about it,,,

And then GOD Rezek with all the jewlery is *chef's kiss* I did like how it went for a more modest look when picking out an earring, but now it'd be funny to think about like.....it giving in to the peer pressure to be a little more fancy.

THE MATCHING BRACELET IDEA WITH RIJU AND REZEK IS SO CUTE TOO. They're so "younger and older cousin friendship"-core I'm dying

Of course, it'd fight tooth and nail over it before finally admitting "damn, I actually look pretty good....."

And then, being an Electric Wizzrobe, it could use the gold bracelets as like....a way to fight by channeling its magic into the metal. AND IT'S LIKE "the bracelets give me a boon in combat that's why I wear them all the time" and everyone's like "uh huh yea sure buddy whatever you say"

Hmmmmmm taking notes taking so many notes

[imagonista]

MOTH finale rambling: warning, this is long, and basically a brain dump. Proceed with caution

Oh gosh. I'm may not be physically crying, but mentally, I'm kind of numb. Not in a bad way, I want to be clear, this is just how I process certain types of emotional stories, and it may take some time for me to recover from the finale. Also the fact this is probably the first time my emotions have made me feel like I'm going to throw up, which is good in the sense that it means the storytelling was effective, but bad in the sense that I have emetophobia, the fear of vomiting, sooooo XP

If there was a word to describe the ending, it would be catharsis. Every character, both the speakers and the listeners, experience some form of catharsis, and get closure after all their trauma. Amazing storytelling.

I have so many thoughts, so many emotions, but I don't have the words to describe them (and I don't think *unholy bird screeches* count). There's so much to talk about...

The realization, adding from the previous episode, that Makkaro and Zed aren't that different. Both of their arcs revolve around them putting their respective listener on a pedestal, and all the harm that caused.

That the Guardian is GONE gone, and the effects that will have on the world. On one hand, the Guardian didn't do their job in the first place, mostly just staying alone in their arch angel until Zed showed up. But in the AU where the Guardian dies, it was stated how while magic doesn't go away, things start to feel less...magical, if the Guardian were to die. Does the Guardian leaving from the world in general mean the same thing? I'll guess we'll find out with Nosferatu (which took until actually spelling out the name to realize the importance of that name and its association with the original Dracula book. And since he was turned into a vampire... very clever!)

As much as I was hoping for Zed and the Guardian to end up together, it wasn't much of a shock when they didn't. Neither of them were ready for a relationship, and the Guardian just has too much emotional baggage to ever love again. And I'm glad it was Zed who did it; it really shows his character growth, his realization that it wouldn't be a fair or healthy relationship.

But my emotional juxtaposition:

*Darlings POV switching to Guardians POV*

Me: YES!!!!!

*Section titled "Shy Wizard let's you go")

Me: NO!!!!!!!

The title of the series being the title of (probably) Y'narri's favorite romance novel?!?! Genius! I'm also honestly glad that the meaning of Magic of the Heart wasn't the whole "you had the power inside yourself all along" type of story. Basically, that Zed would find the magic inside himself and then not be weak anymore, yada yada. I think it was only recently (probably within the last few years) I discovered how ableist that narrative can be. So having "Magic of the Heart" be about love, not "magic" magic, works a lot better.

Makkaro and Darlings ending was just beautiful! On one hand, it does kind of feel like Makkaro is getting off a bit too easily for murdering thousands (or had it gotten to millions?) of innocents. On the other hand, he did lose his necromancy, and had severe emotional trauma from the entire experience. But either way, I love how he and Darling are just gonna live happily together, and while they may be secluded/hidden from society, they finally get the peace they deserve.

Mini musical theater thoughts because of course my brain thinks about musicals; "That Would Be Enough" from Hamilton, Eliza's lines are so Darling coded

"I don't pretend to know, the challenges your facing,

The world's you keep erasing and creating in your mind.

But I'm not afraid,

I know who I married,

So long as you come home at the end of the day,

That would be enough."

And

"If I could grant you peace of mind,

If you could let me inside your heart.

...

Let this be the first chapter,

Where you decide to stay,

And I could be enough,

And we could be enough,

That would be enough."

I could probably write an essay about how Makkaro is both Hamilton and Burr, but nobody needs that.

The animation walk cycle at the end with the fanart?! It's basically an anime ending credits sequence, and I loved it! Magic of the Heart anime when?

On a lighter note, Zed calming himself down after going off about how the heck he was still alive, I couldn't relate more to him. That shock, the surprise, then mini celebration (and then realizing he was celebrating a bit too much); so relatable.

Now thoughts on the future: I am both nervous and excited to see what happens to Zed. I know if that he's gonna be more grown up in the future, he may lose being "shy," and "smol," which I selfishly don't want him to lose. To sum things up, my favorite male archetype is the nervous, shy, bumbling type; ever since my brain was able to accept that even as a female, I was allowed to have male favorite characters, that's always what I drifted to. Why? I don't know; probably something about vulnerability and having men not being jerks. It seems silly, but I struggle with characters changing (which is probably why my two favorite shows, The 7D and The Cuphead Show are my favorites; since they aren't crazy plot heavy and focus more on comedy, the characters are consistent). That's not to say I'm against character growth; I love character growth! And I want Zed to realize his own personal strengths and worth (which as we can see, the process has at the very least started). I don't know. While I hope Zed grows, I hope he's still, himself, for lack of a better term.

All in all, congrats GBA for an amazing series finale!!!!! And Im very excited for Gen 3!!!Apologies for this long ramble, for those who lasted this long

[stargazer-sims]

Drabble

Victor. Word: Vampire

Thanks @cawthorntales ! I'm working my way through all the excellent prompt suggestions I got, and it's been a great creative exercise.

This one was a lot of fun, so here you go!

__________

This week's rotation has Victor on the mid-shift, from three in the afternoon until eleven at night. He's back at work following a much-needed four-day break after having worked the eleven to seven overnight shift for three rotations in a row, and he's glad to be able to experience sunlight again.

He’d begun to feel like a character in an urban fantasy novel, roaming the eerily quiet corridors of the paediatric floor to look in on sleeping children and slipping out of the hospital to have his break in the dead of night. It's been especially weird on their unit after dark since they put the Halloween decorations up.

Yes, it's totally an improvement to come to work while there's still daylight and the majority of his patients are awake.

Victor can't actually say he's delighted to discover that his two newest patients are Camellia and Forest Abbottsford, but he is delighted at their reaction when he enters their room. As if on cue, the pair of five-year-olds exclaim in unison, "It's Victor!"

During shift change today, he was a little surprised when his counterpart on the day shift first showed him Camellia's chart and then Forest's. Both twins had been admitted because their paediatrician, Dr. Park, suspected Type 1 Diabetes and wanted to run a series of tests to confirm or rule out that diagnosis. The idea itself isn't particularly shocking to Victor, considering their dad Fox is diabetic and was diagnosed at a very young age, but he does find it unusual that the twins are showing signs of the illness at the same time.

Forest and Camellia seem to be in good spirits. Fox is there with them, and they're all drawing pictures together. It’s obvious which one of them has inherited Fox’s artistic talent. Forest’s drawing looks way more advanced than anything Victor has seen a typical kindergartener do. He thinks Camellia’s drawing might be of a fire truck, or possibly a red bus.

Fox smiles at his kids. "I said you'd likely see Victor today, didn't I?"

"Victor, are you a doctor?" Camellia asks. "I didn't know you were a doctor!"

"I'm not a doctor," Victor says. "I'm a nurse. You know, the one with the best jokes and the cool Band-Aids."

Forest eyes him warily. "And the needles?"

"Yeah," he confesses.

“The other nurse had a needle too,” says Forest. “And she didn’t have any cool Band-Aids.”

“You didn’t need a Band-Aid for that one, Forest,” Fox says.

“Well, you will this time,” Victor tells him, “But I have the coolest Band-Aids of all time, so I’ve got you covered.”

“Covered. With Band-Aids. That’s a funny joke.” Camellia giggles. She’s apparently unfazed. "I don't mind needles. They don't even hurt that much, and anyway, I'm a superhero!"

"I'm glad you're a superhero," Victor tells her. "We're going to do a special test today, and you're going to need to use all your superpowers, like your super-courage and super-strength."

"What kind of test?" Camellia wants to know.

"It's a blood test. I'm going to take a little bit of your blood out of you, and then the doctors and technicians are going to do all kinds of science-y stuff with it, and try to find out what's making you sick."

"Really?" Camellia looks intrigued. "How are you going to get my blood out of me? Are you like… a vampire?”

Victor laughs. He can't help it. He's gratified to see Fox laughing too, because it erases the stress and worry that'd previously been evident in his expression and body language.

"Oh, I'm definitely a vampire," Victor says. "A science vampire. That means, instead of biting you, I'm going to use my special vampire needle to take your blood. I can’t bite you, because you know, everything has to be clean and germ-free for science.”

"Are you going to take my blood too?" Forest asks. He doesn't seem nearly as fascinated by the process as his twin.

"Yes, but don't worry. I heard your sister is a superhero. I think, if you ask her nicely, she'll hold your hand so you won't be too scared. Unless," he adds, "you're also a superhero. In which case, I think you should hold Daddy's hand so he won't be scared."

Forest chews his lower lip. "Daddy, do you think I'm a superhero?"

"You are absolutely a superhero, Forest," Fox says. "The most super of heroes."

"So, if I hold your hand, that means you won't be scared?"

"I think I'll feel a million times better if you hold my hand."

Victor sets down his little tray of equipment on one of the bedside tables. He tears open a packet containing sterile gloves and puts them on. For some reason, he never ceases to be amused by the fact that all the gloves are colour-coded by size, and that the extra-large gloves are light purple.

He holds up his hands. "What do you think, Camellia? Vampire gloves?"

"Yeah, 'cause everything has to be clean and germ-free for science, right?" Camellia says.

"Exactly," says Victor. "Okay, then. Who wants to be first?"

Camellia bounces up and down on her bed. "Me! I want to see my blood!" She pitches her voice low and elongates the word 'blood' as if she's a character in an animated Halloween special.

Victor raises an eyebrow in the most exaggerated way he can manage. "Oh, do you? How do you know you're even going to see it?"

"You mean, I'm not?" The sudden look of disappointment on her face is so profound that it's comical, and Victor has to bite the inside of his mouth to keep himself from laughing again.

"No, you can if you want to," he says. "My special needle has a little tube on it, so we'll both be able to see."

Camellia rubs her hands together and does the most perfect cartoon villain laugh. "Matsu is gonna be so mad when I tell him about this, 'cause I get to see my blood and he doesn't."

Victor grins at Fox. "Are you sure this one's yours?"

Fox has moved over to Forest's bed and is holding his son in his lap. "Are you suggesting she takes after Takahiro more than she takes after me?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of her secretly being your sister's kid. Clancy seems like the type to get satisfaction out of this kind of stuff."

"Now that you mention it," Fox says. "She always wanted to help with my shots when we were kids. Maybe she just enjoyed sticking needles into me."

"Does that mean I can stick a needle into Forest?" Camellia asks.

"No," Fox says.

Camellia pretends to pout for a few seconds, but then she's all business again. She shifts her attention back to Victor, and in what he presumes is her superhero voice, proclaims, "Okay, vampire, do your worst! I'm not afraid of you!"

And by all appearances, she isn't the least bit afraid of him or his needle. She doesn't make so much as a peep when he inserts it into her arm, and then stares, captivated, as a tiny amount of her blood makes its way up the tubing and into the little collection container.

when he's done, he lets her pick a Band-Aid. To no one's astonishment, she chooses an Avengers one, and then tells him that she's going to keep her sleeve rolled up for the rest of the day so everyone can see it.

Victor is glad that at least one of the twins is taking the experience of being in the hospital reasonably well. He can't imagine what Fox and Taka must be going through. Fox in particular must be struggling because he doubtless remembers what being diagnosed with diabetes as a child was like for him.

He finishes labelling Camellia's blood sample, changes his gloves, and then turns to Forest. "All right, superhero number two. Are you ready?"

Forest nods, but he looks unsure. "Is it going to hurt?"

"Camellia, did it hurt?" Victor asks.

"A little bit," Camellia says, "But you're a superhero, Forest. A little hurt can't stop you!"

"Hold Daddy's hand," Victor reminds him. "Your awesome superpowers are gonna protect him from hurting too."

Forest grips his father's fingers so tightly that Victor can see the tautness of the muscles on the back of his hand, but to his credit, he sits still through the whole procedure and only sheds a few tears. He doesn't watch what's happening, but Victor didn't really expect him to.

When it's all over, Victor praises him as if he's just accomplished the most amazing feat in the world.

"Did it hurt, Daddy?" Forest asks tentatively. "Did my superpowers work?"

Fox hugs him close. "Your superpowers worked so well, I didn't feel a thing. You're such a brave boy, and I'm really proud of you," he tells him. He looks over at his daughter. "And you too, Camellia. You did great."

"Know who I'm proud of?" Camellia says.

"Who?" Fox inquires.

"Victor, 'cause he's the best vampire ever," she declares. "When I grow up, I want to be a science vampire, just like him!"

*****

A few days later, after the twins have been discharged from the hospital, Victor arrives at work to find a big yellow envelope waiting for him at the nurses' station. It's addressed to 'Vampire Okamoto-Nelson'.

His co-worker who hands it to him can't keep the grin off her face. She points to the writing on the outside of the envelope and says, "Happy Halloween."

Inside the envelope, Victor finds a handmade card. On the front is a drawing that was clearly done by Fox, of a nurse with silver hair and purple gloves. The cartoon nurse is holding a needle in one hand, and there are a pair of bats — a girl and a boy bat, judging by the bow and baseball cap on their respective heads — hovering over his shoulder. The banner at the top says 'To the Best Vampire Ever'.

On the inside of the card, Forest and Camellia have each written thank you messages to him. Their handwriting is wobbly and most of the words in the short note are misspelled, but it’s all still legible.

Victor puts the card on the staff bulletin board. He'll take it home after his shift, but it's too good not to share with everyone passing by in the meantime. He knows he's going to treasure it for a long time to come.

Happy Halloween, indeed.

[blvcklizard]

So, I've decided to recycle an old theory of mine, because I actually believe in that part of it.

I think Sigma isn't actually born from the book, he was simply given amnesia by the page. (Now, I don't doubt that the book can create people. I just don't trust that Sigma is.)

I see how that might be related to other things, but it's a little weird to me that Sigma's age is stated to be "unknown" in his character card. Like, if I remember correctly we know that according to Fyodor, he was created three years ago. And sure, the "unknown" is probably referring to his physical appearance, so what about the other parts of his info that are "unknown"?

It's his birthday and ability name. And yes, that makes sense, since those are two things that are taken from the irl authors, and Sigma isn't one.

Except that if that were true, why not make something up? He obviously has a birthday (even if I'm wrong and it happens to be the day he was written down) and ability name, and if Sigma is just "Sigma", no more and no less than the character we've seen, there is no reason why those couldn't just have been made up. Like, neither of these informations are plot relevant, and while it gives him this aura of mystery and unfamiliarity, there doesn't seem to be a real reason beyond that.

Because here's the thing, the character we know as "Sigma" doesn't really exist. For all I know, it's actually been stated that Sigma isn't his real name, but what's giving it away even more so is his ability. Correct me if I'm wrong but the only "independent" ability user (excluding family members that have an ability for plot reasons, such as Tachihara's brother for example) in the series that isn't based on an author is Nemo, and I'm not counting him because he only appears in a light novel. I can't think of a reason why Sigma would be the exception here.

I see that this argument is rather weak in light of the actual theory, since just because he's probably an author too doesn't mean he can't be born from the book, but let's keep looking at his ability. It's, said simply, flawed. Taking only the bare base into consideration, he can't use it for his (or whoever is using him, poor Sigma) benefit without giving his enemies the same advantage. And like, yeah, it makes sense, there are very few abilities in this manga that don't have any weaknesses/ties to conditions, but if the DOA had the opportunity to create a perfect character, why wouldn't they get rid of this? The only explanations I could think of are that giving their enemies information is part of their plan (and I'll say it as it is, I'm not smart enough to judge whether this is true, because I can't imagine it is, but I may very well be overlooking some stuff) or that they couldn't give him a different ability because of the plot rule (which makes even less sense to me). The information exchange just seems like more risk than Fyodor would usually be willing to take, but maybe that's just me.

On a similar note, if you think about it, the role Sigma played on the DOA's plan... is ridiculously small. He's strong, and yet they threw him away after one move, and technically he had been meant to do even less, as Fyodor told him not to pick a fight with the Hunting Dogs (although I can very well imagine this was a reverse psychology type of thing since he knew Sigma would do it anyway). My point is, there are so many ways you could use a person that's created from the book, and none of them apply to Sigma in the slightest.

Okay, and why tf would the DOA mess with Sigma's memories?

1. As Fyodor pointed out, it's a power boost. Assuming that his personality didn't drastically change, Sigma would be a lot weaker without his wishes and despair driving him. (I like how this is turning against the DOA now, but let's see how this proceeds.)

2. It might have been a practice run. Overwriting memories is like, a central part of the DOA's plan and I don't see Fyodor as someone who likes taking risks. So if they were going to power up Sigma a bit anyway, this was a perfect opportunity.

Who is Sigma then?

...no idea. In the original theory I said that he might be Mishima, and while the possibility exists, I don't think it has any more base than literally any other suggestion (aside from how similar their names are, to be fair). His color pallette also fits the russian characters, so maybe he's someone else entirely.

[c0pper0tter]

Hi my brain has been rotting over the idea of Midnight adopting Kaminari Denki and being the best mother ever but I couldn't find any fanfic for this silly little idea or any other content in general so I'm making it by spewing word vomit about my headcanons.

This is all my headcanons, if you dont like it shut up and go find something you do like leave me to my thoughts so I can ignore canon

Anyway this all spawned because this scene obviously

So my brain thought of multiple different scenarios of how she ended up adopting him and a bunch of wacky situations but that don't matter what matters is I think Midnight is a great mom.

She is the mom who is actually friends with her kid. They have a similar sense of humor and enjoy doing stuff together. She is the most supportive and is always hyping kaminari up and boosting his confidence. But she also doesn't sugarcoat things or lie to him. She tells it to him straight.

This isn't important really but it's very important to me. I think they would bond over watching trashy TV and laughing at how horrible it is while getting deeply invested.

Kaminari loves his mom she's just great. She is his biggest supporter. Not only does she encourage him to be his best and validate his interests but she calls him out when he needs it. She also helps him whenever he needs her without being a helicopter parent. Her motto is go be independent but if you get hurt call me and tell me who's ass I need to beat up including if its your's. She gives good life lessons.

I also think it would be funny if both kaminari and midnight just tend to not tell people they are mother and son just to see how long it takes for people to figure it out. Aizawa finds out immediately, the bakusquad take a really long time.

Kaminari is a mama's boy and he is proud of it. "You have mommy issues? What's that like can't relate".

They have mother son shopping trips where they just try to find the weirdest shit they can and buy it. Don't tell me they wouldn't midnight has mop slippers and have you seen kaminari's room!

I don't know why but they give eachother annoying yet endearing nicknames. Im tired of people giving their children adorable nicknames, give your kid something weird out of context.

Midnight: "Wall Socket can you check if the dryer turned off"

Denki: "on it Nightey Night"

They are the type of family where to everyone else they always seem like they are bullying eachother but this is just how they vibe. Kaminari calls his mom a bitch and she responds by calling him a mistake with a smile, they laugh about it after they proceed to call eachother a bunch of crude or mean names.

Also I Headcanon that Kaminari short circuiting actually frightens him alot and can be painful. Midnight is always there to comfort him through it.

They both also have a love for old or classical literature and art and can go on for hours on the weird history and conspiracies about classical novels and Renaissance paintings.

Midnight goes mama bear anytime anyone dares hurt her baby. She gets teasing and jokes but when she gets the vibe someone is being genuinely mean it's on sight. Same goes with kaminari, if anyone says something disrespectful to his mama it's drained batteries and extreme static shock for a year.

I just want them both to be a happy chaotic Lil found family man is that too much to ask, apparently yes.

*cries over headcanons*

[eriexplosion]

Clone Wars - Rookies

Now that I've got a laptop I can actually type on... time to get back into the rewatch with AN EPISODE THAT WILL PAIN ME.

'The best confidence builder is experience' yeah assuming that you get to have that and don't just get brutally killed on your first assignment. If you get past all of that, then you can get confidence building experience.

Unfortunately, because of the relentless demands of battle, many young clones must join the struggle before their intensive training has been completed.

LIKE COME ON. I'M FERAL. THEY DIDN'T EVEN GET TRAINED FULLY AND WERE SENT OUT ANYWAY. Tragic how that Just Has to Happen, there's no other way we definitely can't recruit people that aren't clones and have volunteered for this. That's impossible, sorry.

*checks time* we're at about 40 seconds now, I'm going to be so normal about this. Sooooo normal.

God though do I love Echo. I LIKE THAT IT'S SO QUIET OUT HERE :D GIVES ME TIME TO CATCH UP ON THE REG MANUALS :D what a nerd. A precious, precious nerd. Who knew that in a few short years they would be running around with a squad full of unadulterated chaos like the batch?

Shout out to Sergeant O'Niner for extreme handsomeness, I just love the greying look, so sue me.

Also Obi-Wan getting after Anakin for not sleeping, this is likely such a long running argument. I seem to remember the ROTS novelization said something about how Anakin didn't sleep for pretty much the entirety of it. BAD HABITS WILL GET YOU IN THE END. One day you're skimping on sleep to find General Grievous and the next you haven't slept in five days and you've murdered the younglings.

I love "Good man, that Cody" how often does Obi-Wan just randomly compliment Cody the instant he hangs up?

Hevy is so unimpressed by the meteor shower, in one last bit of humor before clone boys start dying. O'Niner's death is particularly brutal with the POV shot of three blasters gunning him down, but I hate all of it 😭Wasting absolutely no time cutting the clone numbers in half, including poor, unfortunately named Droidbait. (I can't get over that name, I simply can't. Nothing says awkward like memorializing your comrade Droidbait, who was murdered by droids.)

Also the specific way the droid changes its voice, the grabbing at its neck and apparently physically forcing its voice module into a clone voice. Upsetting to look at! But worth it for 'we do not need an inspection! Everything's fine! :)' Maximum suspicious behavior. And Cody's main reaction is just 'you know what? I need this to not be my problem. Rex is in charge.' I feel like we underestimate the amount of Little Shit Cody can be when he feels like it.

Mid typing of course, Cutup got eaten by an eel. RIP. I do feel like this part is played a little too lightly, they call out Cutup's name and say poor Cutup and all but no one seems all that like, distressed, that he's gone. At the very least that's 25% of their remaining manpower! Show some concern guys!

Moving on though, this lighting is doing Cody's paint job no favors.

I do love how unnerving the droid pretending to be a clone is though. Droid like 'how do clones act? Gestures? They gesture right?' and proceeds to do it in the worst way possible.

Rex is showing off a great dichotomy here, with Anakin and Ahsoka he always comes off as the cool headed one that tries to do things by the book, but when he hauls off and shoots the suspicious 'clone' in the face, Cody is HORRIFIED AND CONFUSED. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? One squad's voice of reason is another squad's absolute lunatic.

Speaking of characterization notes, I still find it a little odd that Fives has gotten the full party boy characterization of the Echo & Fives set in fanon when he's almost as rigid as Echo here, at least when set against Hevy. He introduces himself to Rex and Cody by his CT number and it's Hevy that fills in their actual names. I feel like he loosens up over the show, but he's definitely more by the book than people give him credit for. The real difference between the two as set up seems to be that Fives is a little more assertive (but kind of quieter) to Echo's soft spoken but chatty personality.

HANDPRINT THOUGH, HANDPRINT HANDPRINT. Literally if I could change one (1) small thing about TBB it's that I would give Echo back their handprint. I hate that they don't have it, it's integral damn it.

Rex breaking back in is still one of my favorite parts. Holding up the severed head up to the camera while Cody just goes THIS IS NEVER GOING TO WORK. Give him some credit, Cody, he knows what he's doing.

"Permission to take point, sir?" "I'm always first, kid."

Every day, Rex is just out here being unspeakably attractive. (And Echo is being unspeakably cute. "I GOT ONE :D")

Rex yet again showing his insane levels by going straight to 'guess we blow the whole place up' as his battle plan. No chill in this man, none at ALL.

Also, the detonator not hooking up with the handset. I can't believe that Hevy gets killed by fucking. Bluetooth issues. Imagine that your life rests on getting two pieces of technology to fucking communicate with each other. And Rex and Cody's immediate reaction is they need to GO BACK AND GET HIM RIGHT NOW, no one wants him to sacrifice himself, that wasn't what he was supposed to do when Rex left him to fix the detonator. I'm sure he gets hella survivors guilt from that. He left the rookie behind, it probably feels like his fault that Hevy is gone. Just pile the problems on him, just do it.

Echo having a tendency to make questionably timed jokes is. Certainly something. Like, Cutup gets eaten by an eel - that's why the regulations say don't go outside! Hevy gets blown up - Hevy always did hate that place! Like. Baby. Do you have to say that NOW? They perhaps have some filter issues.

Triumphant ending! Everyone except these two has died horribly! But they have medals you see!

It's still one of my favorite episodes though. All clones all the time, lots of chances to fawn over my boys, I can never turn that down. Echo my beloved ❤️

[clevercatchphrase]

2023 Year In Review~

at the time of me writing this, it is 8:11pm on tuesday night, january second. Let's see how long it takes me to type this entire thing. I expect no less than two hours. This is gonna be a long one, so I'm gonna put it under a read-more. Proceed only if you dare!

So! Another year down, another begun, and this is my.... 5th? time looking back on my year and assessing what I accomplished and what I did. Lots of changes and new things happened to me this year! Not nearly as many good things as bad! But first I'm gonna dig up my old resolutions list and see how well I did on them. Let's see... for 2023 I had 9 goals, six of which were serious and 3 of which were more casual. those goals were;

Read 12 new books in a year (one book a month)

Finish the Snowdin Arc before Ghost Switch's 5th birthday

Rewrite the 3rd draft of my Nanowrimo project from 2021/22

Write 4 one-shots for BSaPT

Solidify the details of the waterfall arc

The one secret goal

Finish writing the last 4 chapters of Clemency and finally post the dang thing

build a comic buffer of 8 pages, and finally,

write the crack fic

Of these nine goals, I achived... 4 of them, those being reading 12 books, finishing the snowdin arc before june 18th, rewriting my 2021 nanowrimo project, and finalizing the waterfall arc for Ghost Switch. All of these were serious goals, which I am proud of! but it was still less than half, which was a little disappointing. As in past years, I'll go into more detail below:

Read 12 books I BLEW THIS ONE OUT OF THE WATER! the grand total of books I read this year was THIRTY-SIX! three times as many! In fact, I forced myself to stop in order to have more books to read for 2024! Most of the books I listened to this year were through librivox, and mostly on my commute to work. Great way to pass the time! I wrote short little notes about the books I read on a personal discord with only me in it, so let me see if I can just copy and paste all of that here... (all of my original notes will be italicized, while additional thoughts on it now will not be)

1) Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Short, cute! Inspirational. About self actualization. Read by richard Harris. People call this a demonic book?? Apparently a fourth part added in 2014. Look it up later. (Edit; I never did look it up later. there's an audiobook for this on youtube, and while the voice is nice, there is, like, a solid 10 minute segment with a single violin note playing in the background and it is GRATING) 2) fire bed and bone. Ok. Middle of the road. Too focused on people and not the dog, but I get that's the point. it's ~symbolic~. Like the use of no dialogue and no name for the main dog 3) dogs of the spires book 1: reads like fan fiction (derogatory). Sentences go on for 4 or 5 words too long. Used the word orbs for eyes 3 times. Duke is ALWAYS FUCKING GRINNING. Half-brother reveal makes no sense and comes out of nowhere. How… Big/old is Step? Talks waaay too mature for a kid. What happened to Twig? Very tell and not show. Pink foam pink foam pink foam. Why are dogs separated? Hoe do the packs work? Why training? Not given enough to care for characters. Feels like a warrior cat reskin. Too rushed and yet nothing happens at the same time. (I was very curious about post-apocolyptic xenofiction this year, and this was one of the books I could find on the matter, but it's very childishly written and just... bad. Surprisingly, there seems to be a very tiny but dedicated fandom for it on youtube? the series has a fandom wiki anyway...)

4) old granny fox. Very cute! A little repetitive, but passable for a children's novel. Great introduction to xenofiction for kids. Wonderful audio book. 5)the adventures of Sammy Jay. Short sweet also a lot of fun. Both books are Definitely of their time with their usage of the word "queer" as a synonym for "strange/odd"

Now, this is a little known fact about me, but I'm secretly a massive furry. yeah, who could've guessed, right? Anyway, i'm always on the look out for good xenofiction, and when I searched through the "animals" playlist of the librivox youtube channel and stumbled across the books by Thornton W Burgess, I was INSTANTLY enamored. Old Granny Fox, and The Adventures of Sammy Jay were the first two I read/listened to, and was immediately captivated. I MUST give extra props to the narrators of these audiobooks, with some of the more frequent readers for this series doing unique voices for each character, which really added to the charm (Jude Somers and John Lieder particularly come to mind). I WISH I had these books as a kid. I love the way they describe animal behavior and reasoning. While it is anthropomorphized, it never crosses a line into "too" human, if that makes sense. There's another book on this list that is very similar to Burgess' work, with talking animals, but in that book, the animals make and read signs on the doors of their houses, and go to animal tailors to get their clothes fit. this doesn't happen in Burgess' work. Sure, they talk about their homes and the coats they wear, but it's all very intentionally conveying their natural states and habitats in a slightly more human way for us to picture them. Sure, the art on the covers of the books may say otherwise, but it's never depicted that way in the actual text. All their behavior is very animalistic, too, explaining their thoughts and actions in a way that would make sense for a wild forest creature. These books are a little gentle when it comes to the cycle of life. While the predator characters do need to hunt, they are always juuuust out of luck when they are the main character, and the prey characters juuuust manage to escape each time they're the focus. I will definitely be reading more of Burgess' books this year (the man wrote over 170 of them!), but expect quite a few more titles of his to pop up on this list.

6) adventures of jimmy skunk 7)adventures of paddy beaver (not much to say on these two. both were charming, but I feared I would have sounded repetitive if I just kept writing "cute!" in my notes) 8) my father's dragon Short, cute and silly. Listened to the audiobook. Does the physical have pictures? Not really so much about the dragon. Wish there was more after the ending, like what became of the dragon? (I also watched the netflix movie adaptation of this book. I.... could not stand the dragon in the movie. I'm sorry, he's annoying as hell) 9)adventures of buster bear

10)adventures of old mister toad.Favorite one so far. Puts toads in a positive light and describes them as beautiful instead of ugly or gross. [Burgess] Really appreciates all animals and their unique abilities and traits

11) The tale of freddie firefly. Ehh, okay. Not as great as Thorton Burgess' books, but still enjoyable. Not the same 'voice'. (this book was written by Scott Bailey) 12) The adventures of Chatterer the red squirrel. Fine~ Fun. 13) The Fox That Wanted Nine Golden Tales. Funny, short. Would make a good 22 minute short film 14)tale of master meadow mouse. Alright~ why do the animals know what groundhogs day and February are? How does mouse know how to write, and fox to read? Do they wear clothes? Mention a tailor frog. Oars for a raft. Don't like the animals being described as "(color) person". Feels like it's missing an adjective, ie "feathered" or "furred". (This is what I was talking about above. Scott Bailey wrote very similar stories to Burgess, but something was just... off about is writing style. ) 15) the adventures of reddy fox. Okay. Feels like an earlier book. Not as kind as the other ones. (I later looked it up and confirmed this was one of the earlier books in his series, and this one was, like, his tenth ever published one)

16) the adventures of jerry muskrat

17) the tale of doctor Doolittle. Fun! Kiiiiiinda racist in the africa parts, but an overall good time! (I'm more familiar with the Doolittle movies, but was surprised to learn that Doolittle's ability to speak to animals was something he learned with effort and practice, and not a magic power or weird innate ability of his. It was an interesting read!) 18) Nomads of the North. Fun animal romp. I Flinched at the use of "fat" "tar baby" "half breed" and "Indians". First half is mostly about the bear, then a sudden sharp turn to mostly about the dog. Kinda meanders, has no over-arching through-line, conflict or plot. (Apparently a movie was based off of this book, but focused more on the humans than the animals. Eh, it was the 1920s. what can you do) 19)falcons of nerabedla; short sci-fi novella about a bodyswap time traveler. Its… Fine. Not the greatest. A little too confusing and kind of wish they explained things more earlier on. Not really about the falcons. Even for a sci-fi, still pretty sexist in the future.(honestly I don't even know if I should count this as it's own book. I'm pretty sure it was a short story inside a bigger magazine?) 20) south American jungle tales. Enjoyable! Very strong jungle book vibes with a South American flare. The story with the racoon was pretty dark, though. 21) a gryphon's journey. Too fast pace. Characters have a habit of spilling their entire backstories onto arias without prompting. Not enough show, not enough explanation of how the gryphons work. Some aspects completely pushed to the sides, like the satyrs and naugi until the end. Very rushed. The skyhaven arc could have been its own book, the stygagryph arc could have been it's own book. The heron gryph arc could have been it's own book. Not enough time to get to know the characters or care about them. Arias speaks far too maturely for his age, I feel. (Still on a gryphon kick from the last... two years now? Mostly I'm waiting for the fourth book in the Griffin Ranger Series to come out before I read the third. The author said it would come out before the end of 2023, but that date came and went and it still isn't on amazon at the time of writing (which is now 9:26pm, jeez...) I want to read isthmus so bad, but I don't want to wait on a cliffhanger) 22) myths and legends from Alaska. Okay. Feels very white washed and overly simplified. missing nuance. Reader is so deadpan and monotone that the audio book was a slog to get through (One thing I was determined to do for my own enrichment this year was to read more legends and mythologies from other cultures. There are SO MANY cool creatures and monsters and ideas out there, and I just feel so LIMITED by the small amount I know. We humans come up with some of the craziest shit imaginable!) 23) the white czar; a story of a polar bear. Bad, boring, incredibly racist. Barely about the bear at all! 24) the twins of buster bear. Another thornton w. Burges book. Its middle of the road. Certainly not bad, but my least favorite so far. Just kinda dull, and the audio book was horrendous. (honestly if the audiobook wasn't so bad, I wouldn't have disliked it so much, but it was a CHORE to listen to this one. I mean, thank you librivox for doing all this work for free, but is it too much to ask for some sort of vetting process for your volunteer readers??) 25) the wishing stone stories; BEST thornton w burges book so far! I would have been obsessed with this book as a child. Transforming into animals to learn about their ways. Not super PG like the others. The animals hunt and kill and get killed. 10/10

26) lightfoot the leaping goat 27) Toto the bustling beaver. Both alright. Nowhere near as charming as thornton Burgess, but endearing none the less. A little more 4th wall breaking. Toto audio book fun with silly voices, but I don't like the description of "tramps". A little too humanized for me. Lightfoot audio book fucking trash. Almost gave up. (Both of these books were written by Richard Barnum, another children's xenofiction writer of the time, but I quickly came to realize that his writing style is just not for me. I listened to a handful of his books too, this year, but they left me feeling uncomfortable more often than not because common attitudes of the time period reeeeeally show through his work.) 28) the adventures of poor misses quack. How do these qualify as adventures. She lands in a pond, dumps her backstory for 60 percent of the book, finds her mate and lives happily ever after. Not very strong, not very adventurous. 29) Mother West Wind "When" Stories; a lot of fun, charming, Aesop fable-esque. Fun mythology for children. A little too much peter rabbit, but I understand why he's there 30) the adventures of tamba the tame tiger. Yeahhhh, this series isnt my thing. A little too humanized, and the audio book is fuck GARBAE. (Pretty sure I meant to say "fucking garbage" there, but "fuck garbae" is funnier)

31) joust 32) alta 33) sanctuary All really good! All revolve around dragons and their usage and care. The books are a liiiiiitle too serendipitous, with the right thing always happening at the right time. Vetch/kuron doesn't "fail" enough. Second book is the best so far because the magi are a legitimate threat and it feels like time is running out so they must always stay one step ahead. (All written by Mercedes Lackey, all about dragon husbandry with a nice Egyptian flare! Check them out! But... maybe skip Aerie, the last in the series. It's not really worth it.) 34)aerie weakest one. Ahketen was absolutely unbearable and I didn't like the literal deus ex machina at the end with the actual gods coming down to help. Final ranking in order from best to worst; 2)alta, 1)joust, 3)sanctuary and 4)aerie. 35) the adventures of johnny chuck. Fun, average. Simple but doesn't need to be complicated. First of the thornton books ive read where the main character forms a family with children as the main focus 36) blacky the crow. Fun and charming as always. Feels a little simpler than the others with only 3 main mini stories, two of which involve stealing eggs. I wonder if I can find a box set of these books. (Aaaand that wraps up all the books I read this year! 15 of them were from thornton w burgess, and I hope to read even more from him this year! If you know of Burgess' books, tell me your favorites! I'd love to discuss them with someone~)

2.WHOO! the time is now 9:50, and I am just starting on talking about my second goal, which was to finish the snowdin arc of Ghost Switch before its 5th birthday. I did this! I did this exactly on june 18th! (for public readers, anyway. Anyone on my patreon got the page early, but a one week difference isn't much in the grand scheme of things.) I also get to say that I passed the Snowdin Test this year! "What is the Snowdin Test," you might ask? well, it's something a mutual acquaintance of mine, from the Fan Fic Paradise discord I lurk in, made aaaaall the way back in 2018, right when I was just startin' out with Ghost Switch. (Hi, Vikingaspoke, I don't know if you follow me on tumblr, or even have a tumblr for that matter, but I want you to know I thought about your thesis every single day since you first posted it, and have been determined (har har) to succeed where so many other undertale stories have failed. I did it once with my Epic-long fan fic, You Monster, but to do the same in comic form was a new and unique challenge. it took me almost 5 years, but I got there in the end! Cutting out the memories, I've officially concluded snowdin and started waterfall just this year!) I've also got to mention that I think my estimation on how long it will take me to finish Ghost Switch is slowly unfolding to be oddly accurate. I've never made a comic this long, but back in 2019, when I made an anniversary comic for Ghost Switch's 1st birthday, I guestimated that it would take me roughly 11 more years to finish the story, meaning it would take me 12 in total from start to finish. Well, we are rapidly approaching the half-way point of the comic, and if I haul ass it get to 312 pages out by the 6th birthday, we very well might actually hit it. I haven't drawn up to page 312 yet, but it's strangely close. Granted, my guess didn't account for the length of the flashback segments, which may push it back, but the sheer Idea that the "vibes" I got on how long each arc would take just by roughly judging the time it took me to finish ruins as a baseline to compare... it's just weird, man. I just "felt" that snowdin would be 1.5 times as long as the ruins, waterfall 2 times as long as the ruins, and hotland+New Home also 1.5 times that of the ruins. I have no metric for this since the final scenes were not written out yet. It just... feels like it should be that, and I'm kinda scared at how on track it's been.

3. Third goal was to Rewrite my Nanowrimo project from 2021/22. I did this as well! It's still no where near a final draft ready for beta readers or anything, and towards the end of the year I got distracted writing the second book in the trilogy because this is an epic fantasy story so it just HAS to have three books. Maybe I'll self-publish these stories one day. it sure is the most passionate I've ever been about something original i've ever written, but I want to make sure the entire rough draft of all three stories is done first so I can easily go back and add hints in previous parts without having to retcon anything later down the line. I've already had to do it once, so no doubt in my mind I'll have to do it again when I start trying to wrap things up in the final book. Speaking of the sequel, that was my nano project for this year! I won, but much like 2021 and 22, I didn't finish the book. my 21/22 project ended up being roughly 80k words, and I still expect to add about 10k more when I add some missing scenes and flesh out some description. I don't think that will happen with the second book. If anything, I expect it to barely stick around 50k in total because I just know I wrote a lot of filler and junk and repetitive stuff in the first draft this year because I was STRUGGLING with nanowrimo this year. Idk yet if I'm going to make a rewrite of book 2 my nano project for 2024. we'll have to wait and see how I'm feeling once september/october rolls around.

4. My fourth goal was to write 4 one-shots for my fic collection of Blankets, Socks, and Pillow Talk, over on AO3. I didn't do this, mostly because I was too distracted with my original fiction this year. i DID write one one-shot, hilariously during nanowrimo when I was suffering from writers block. Hopefully this year will be different. I would like this fic collection to at least hit 50k words so it could be a full novel of short stories all on its own. I think I can do it, I just need the time and inspiration.

5. My fifth goal, and last one I achieved this year was to finalize the details of the waterfall arc. I'm sure I've said it before in the past, but all the major story beats for Ghost Switch were planned out well before I even drew the first page, but the scenes connecting them were filled in more as I went. Rest assured, I make sure the entire arc is scripted before I start it, but my dirty little secret is that the snowdin arc wasn't completely written until I nearly finished drawing the ruins arc, and I was well into the snowdin arc before the final scenes of the waterfall arc were written down. It is now, and has been for at least 10 months. This was a goal I always knew I would achieve. Sometimes the resolutions I make are things I know are gonna happen whether I want them to or not. Sometimes you just gotta give yourself a guaranteed win to boost your self-confidence, you know? (now I just need to do the same for the Hotland arc. I think it's gonna take me 3 years minimum to finish waterfall, just like it did snowdin, so I got time, but the sooner I figure out the dialogue, the better. Will I make that a goal for this year? Ehh, probably not. I just wanna focus on building a buffer first)

6. The one secret goal was not achieved. If it was, this post wouldn't nearly be as long and you all would have heard about it as soon as it happened. Idk if it will happen this year, or anytime soon. A vicious combination of anxiety, the economy, and the uncertain state of the world make me hesitant to even attempt this goal.

aaand those were all my serious goals for this year! the time is now 10:37, I am tired and dizzy. I'm gonna save this as a draft and get back to it tomorrow~ nighty night~

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OKAY! IT'S JANUARY 3RD NOW, 8:34AM! LET"S CONTINUE!

my three casual goals, none of which I accomplished, were;

7) Finish writing clemency. While I didn't do this, I did think about the story a lot. If you've been around since late 2022, You'll know that when AI writing generators started gaining popularity, news broke that the internet was scraped for data sets, including fan fiction websites like AO3. This extremely pissed me off because Fan Fiction is... well, I guess there's no better word than "sacred" to me. The unadulterated desire to write, create, share and expand on media that has touched us, inspired us, (hell, even angered us!) and to do this all purely because we can and we want to, just to make connections with other people who were fans of the same media, people we may never meet, thousands of miles apart from us, who we can touch and inspire in turn... Fan fiction is a gift. it means so much to me, from the professional writer who writes ficlets as an exercise, to tweens just starting their creative writing journey by imagining themselves hanging out with their favorite characters, to the hobbyists who wanted to imagine how things would change if just one thing happened differently, to those who feel underrepresented in media, and want to see themselves be the hero. People working through shit, people who are just bored, people who love a story so much they will retell it a hundred times over so it never has to end. Young, old, girl, boy, fluent writers, to writers in fandom where english is not their first language. It's an amazing, nearly incomprehensible melting pot that can connect us all... and some CEO jerkoffs just wanted to steal all this heart-felt work and feed it to a machine to make a quick buck. I was so enraged, so violated that works of passion could be abused this way that I locked down all my fics on AO3, and you now need to be logged in to read any of them, and I didn't write a word of fan fic in over a year. Every time I thought my anger had cooled off, more news would come up about "AI" generated stories appearing in the kindle app, or authors having works published under their name without their consent because thieves are trying to make a quick buck with their identity to trick fans, or hear that tv show and movie writers being told they are worthless and replacable, and I would get mad all over again. I'm still mad just remembering it, and until actual laws are in place regarding the use of "AI" in art and writing, I'll stay mad, and my stories will be under lock and key. If some good has come out of it, I focused a lot more on original fiction this year, which I haven't shared online at all, so no fear of that being stolen, but I do miss writing fan fic more regularly, yet I can't stand the thought of something I make for fun being taken and used by someone else to line their pockets. It's like... the antithesis of the purpose of storytelling to begin with and makes me sick to my stomach.

WOW! That sure was a rant! Let's move on! My 8th goal and second casual one was to make a comic page buffer of 8 pages. I almost did this one! At one point, (like, the second week of december) I had a buffer of 5 pages because I was finishing up Memory 5 of ghost switch, but then I realized I could line up the end of the memory with the end of the year, and I ended up posting all of my reserve pages in, like, a week! During those weeks, though, instead of making more pages to keep the buffer supplied, I played a lot of video games instead, which I hadn't done since... october? because I didn't touch my PS4 at all during november while I was writing for nanowrimo, and I missed playing Horizon Foridden West and wanted to get back to it. Maybe this year, though? I'm dead set on trying to get to 312 pages before Ghost Switch's 6th birthday, which is, like, 30 pages away, so I gotta improve my output process regardless.

And the 9th goal of mine and the last of the casual ones, was to write that crack fic. This goal has been on my resolutions for a couple years now, but I still haven't done it. I'm gonna blame my AI hatred grudge for this, since it made me not to want to write any fan fic at all this year. I'll get to this someday, but maybe now I should put it on the back burner for some newer goals and projects~

Okay! The time is now 8:57! if you're still reading this stream-of-conscious ramble of mine, it's time for me to list off my goals for this year!

IN 2024 I WOULD LIKE TO...

Read 12 new books this year (one book a month)

Reach 312 pages of Ghost Switch by June 18th (the 6th birthday)

Build (and maintain!) a comic buffer of 8 pages

Go walking on 3 new greenways around my neighborhood

Go camping by myself

Make at least one new song comic

Finish 4 video games to as close to 100% as I can (currently looking at Horizon Forbidden West, the original Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Blue, Carto, Alba, Stray, Journey, Unraveled and The Talos Principle 2, as these games currently entice me the most, but I still want flexibility and options if one game ends up not clicking)

Finish the first rewrite of my 2023 nanoproject (this will probably end up being my nano24 project, if i'm being honest with myself)

Write 4 one-shots for BSapT

-- These 9 goals I want to be serious about, but like last year, I have some casual goals i want to do as well. They include...

10. Get reacquainted with Neocities and make a personal website

11. Learn to code to improve said website/learn to make games

12.Listen to the entire royalty free youtube library for reasons

13. Research every d.o.n.g. ever featured on VSauce, for neocities reasons.

I feel like I had a couple more off-handed things I wanted to do this year, but these 4 casual things are the only ones I can remember at the moment. Maybe I'll come back and add to this list later.

Alright! The time is now 9:37AM, and I have to go run some errands/do some house chores! Saving this again as a draft to come back to this later!

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Okay! Done with errands, and it is 11:30am on the nose! Time to resume my inane ramblings and hopefully finish this thing within the next two hours.

One thing I mentioned in my recap/review of 2022 was that I never actually felt like I was looking back on the year in depth. So much was forgotten or blurred together with other years because I didn't keep track of it. Well, this year I kept a monthly diary, again in my personal discord of 1, and wrote in it whenever I felt anything of note or significance happened to me, or whenever I had reoccurring thoughts or feelings. i managed to write in it at least once a month, often times twice, that being every two weeks. I found the whole experience quite therapeutic, frankly, and I'll share snippets of it now, though I will cut out the more personal entries. Be forwarned! A lot of the following text is straight up copied and pasted from my diary entries, so there is a lot of misspellings and short hand. I'll try to fix some of the more obvious ones, but these paragraphs are just as stream-of-concious writing as the rest of this massive post. Anything in parentheses with A/N is me adding context right now on the present day!

january 5th, two very close coworkers of mine quit due to upper management being petty. These two employees had worked here for nearly two decades. They were married to each other and were the mom and dad of the work base, with everyone else relying on them, looking up to them, and going to them for their problems. Them walking out scared everyone lower on the pecking order, because we felt that we were no longer protected from manager bullshit with them gone. I was off the day they walked out and didn't get to say goodbye. the grief I felt upon learning they left caused me to have my first ever anxiety attack that night. It was one of the worst experiences I've ever had in my life. I try to keep in touch, but we don't talk much due to our age gaps and busy work lives.

in January I also had a body-horror nightmare that still makes me squirm just thinking about it. I dreamt no one in the world wore pants, but we were all cool with it because we had pockets built into our legs. Not like... fabric sewn into skin, mind you, I mean naturally evolved extra flaps of flesh over our thighs like the pouch of a cartoon kangaroo. flesh pockets. even in my dream I could feel them. the insides were surprisingly dry and smooth- no sweat or hair in there, but the sensation was uncomfortably irritating, like when you rub your knuckles too much and it feels sore. worst part of this dream was, I woke up, thought "thank god I'll for get this in a few hours", but then watched cartoons later that day and saw a... tom and jerry(?) short where tom also had built in pockets on his body which made me remember everything, and now I can't forget.

February 8th. Watched The Flight if Dragons. Good, campy 80s feel. Drags in some parts, rushed in others. Some aspects feel like they have 0 explanation. (How did peter separate from gorbash? Did peter know that denouncing magic would vanish him from the safe haven? What happened to the princess's parents? EVERYTHING with the wolf and whatever was going on between the huntress and knight. I also Watched 1996 dragonheart. Slow start, but good fun. Pretty decent cgi. Acting is downright TERRIBLE in places, but it was good campy fantasy fun in the end.

On february 14th, I dreamed of a haunted house, but the house wasnt malicious. It felt like a friend that worried for your safety when you left, because it was rooted to the spot and could not come to you when you were in trouble. I did not stay long, and felt melancholic when I had to leave. Once outside, I turned around and said "goodbye house" and waved it farewell. Then, in all the curtains and windows, dozens and dozens of shadowy human arms waved goodbye to me in return, wishing me well and safe travels. It would miss me, but not keep me prisoner, because a house is only a home if you had the freedom to leave and return when you wished.

March 18. I got recommended a video on YouTube about screen savers, and it reminded me of one that our family computer had in the early 00s. After searching for a while, I rediscovered it; the createacard screensaver pack. So many buried memories unearthed. The sense of wanderlust and inspiration and not over such beautiful art came rushing back to me; https://youtu.be/zFPKmnegK0c

I was generally tired for all of march, not having much energy for any project outside of my comic, and even that was starting to wear me down.

I played a lot of kingdom hearts 1 in late February/early march. Synthesized the Ultima weapon for the first time. Cried farming sniper wilds and stealth soldiers because they unsettle me. I'm trying to grind to level 100 before the game is over. Debated on doing a kh song comic this year (A/N: This did not happen)

I want to redo my personal website. Wix added an image file size limit, and my whole site currently surpasses that twice over. The wix site editor is slow and finicky any way. Looked into blogspot and WordPress. I want to start a xenofiction book review podcast. Are solo podcasts popular? I Looked into neocities. Felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia and child-like wonder. Made my own account/basic website, but haven't edited anything yet.

I got hit with the seasonal depression late February/early march, watched some home gardening videos on youtube and got inspired. The videos I watched were about people building actual massive scale pond and lakes, but I just went to home depot and Lowe's and Wal-Mart, bought, like, 12 different kinds of vegetable and flower seeds, 3 long rectangular planters and 2 massive bags of dirt. I also bought some peat seed starters, a plant heating pad (which I might just give to my cat) and a plant light. I spent over 150$ total.

My cat turned 5 years old on the 15th this march as well!

In late april I got really into analog/digital horror args and unfiction realities. Been watching a lot of Night Mind and similar analysis videos (I'm too lazy and dumb to try and solve them myself).

April 28th. Maternal grandfather might be passing soon. He's been in and out of hospitals since late January, needs around the clock assisted living, and my mom and her sister are constantly having to take time out of their lives to help him. I hate it. It's stressful and aggravating to mom, the assisted living people are incompetent, and my mom is stretching herself thin, running ragged trying to do everything at once. It's not fair to her. It's not fair to anyone.

May 11th. Mom's computer has a solitaire program with hundreds of versions of solitaire, most of which have gone unplayed. Ive been trying new games and learning them through trial and error (the "rules" tab doesnt work because it accesses a file that is no longer installed on this computer). Ive found new favorites in "twenty" and in "carpet". It makes life just a little bit more interesting.

June 4th. Been really into watching blind lets plays of undertale from 2022/3 lately, as well as dissection/discussion of undertale's music. Also into shayy's undertale mods. Glad the fandom is still having fun with this game. Got interested in pokemon infinite fusion. Downloaded it, but havent played yet. Getting back into PMD, though I have to grind now for leveling and evolving mons I cant recruit. Took a break from listening to librivox books, but might pick it up again. Same with checking in on flight rising. This year will be it's 10th birthday iirc

Looked at my ao3 recently and noticed I havent written anything in over 6 months. Still mad about the AI data scraping. I didn't stop writing entirely though. I spent all of October, November, January and February writing an original story, and still really proud/excited about it. Finished typing the rough draft on Wednesday, taking a break before I start edits.

All my flowers I planted in February are dying. Has a lot of rain this year. I think they're getting over watered.

June 6th. Been thinking a lot about Hawaii recently. I miss my old school and house. Went to Google earth to look at it again. I think our old neighborhood of [REDACTED] was razed and rebuilt becuase the streets dont look the same. This makes me feel… Not quite sad or bitter, but hurt none the less. I knew ever since we moved here chances of going back would be slim, but knowing my most nostalgic childhood home is gone forever…

Saturday June 17th fucking sucked for everyone. Two coworkers got seriously injured at work. My car battery completely died and couldn't be jump started. Had to call for a tow and wait 2+ hours for it to arrive. Wanted to cancel but they told me I would be charged even if the tow never arrived. Got charged 80 extra dollars for a "wench fee" I didn't need, but they talked to fast for me to think about it. Massive accident on the 4-lane highway home put all traffic down to 1 lane, and we were stuck there an extra hour. Dairy Queen's lobby closed early, going to drive through only, sonic was OUT OF ICE CREAM, and the local grocery store was almost sold out too. Did not get home until almost 10pm. Both my car AC and my mom's car a.c. don't work. I FUCKING LOVE OWNING A CAR. IT'S SO MUCH FUN AND SO FREEING.

June 28. Been playing a new video game recently; horizon forbidden west. Price dropped by 50% on Amazon and I had a 10$ gift card so I got the game for 1/3 the launch price. It's okay so far. Been slowly exploring and uncovering the map, ignoring the main story and discovering secrets. There is definitely A LOT more to do in this game than in the first. Dont really like a lot of Aloy's line deliveries. Some of the controls are different which throws me off. Robo enemies cool as ever, though noticeably fewer dinosaur ones.

Mom continues to take care of her dad. Aunt does too. All of mom's free time and energy this summer has been stolen by him. She keeps insisting she won't have to look after him as much when he gets better. I don't think he's ever getting better.

All my flowers I planted back in March have died. It's just too damn hot for them. It's too hot for everyone. We have just hit ten straight days with weather in the triple digits. I'm miserable.

Might have to replace my laptop soon. It's almost 12 years old, the battery doesn't work anymore, it overheats, and it's super slow. Looking into gaming laptops.

June 29; grandfather passed away last night. All I feel is relief.

July 11th. I got gifted my grandfather's bed, but had to switch it back out with my old bed because it was too soft and fucking up my back. No lumbar support.

July wrap up: month went by sooo fast I can hardly believe it. Its too fucking hot. Texas is stuck in a heat cyclone. Havent played solitare in a while, or listened to audio books. I managed to do 7 jigsaw puzzles this summer, and hope to do one more. each one has been 1000 pieces minimum, with two being 2000 pieces, and 1 being 3000. I should have taken more pictures of them finished, but it's fun to know we finished one puzzle per week this whole summer.

August 5th; Wish I recorded some smaller details throughout the year, not realizing id want to recall the last time I did something. When was the last time I intentionally watched a movie or listened to a specific song? (but then again, how will I know I'm going to think the exact thought; "when was the last time I did X specific thing?") I rewatched wolf children 2 months back for the first time in years, same with relistening to HeyHiHello songs. Been having a lot of lower back pain lately. Stretching helps, but I can no longer sit or sleep in my favorite position without cramping up. I need to be perfectly straight and i hate it. (A/N: The very next night I pulled a muscle in my back so bad I thought I was paralyzed. for the first time in years, I had to call in sick to work because I could not physically move from my bed)

August 19th. Went to a chiropractor. No pinched nerves or slipped disc, just a pulled muscle. Stretching helps and have been wearing a back brace. Finally had grandpa's memorial on the tenth. It was nice to learn he made friends at his community center. I'll try to be out going when I'm old too. Doctors would not sign his death certificate for 7 weeks because they just didn't give a shit, and we finally threatened to call a lawyer. He finally got cremated.

August 30th- recently had to go to pepboys to get my car fixed again. It was "stuck" in neutral. Grandma came and picked me up to let me go home. She said she doesnt plan to be driving much longer and intends to give her car to me. I dont know how to feel about this. Grateful for the future gift? Sad that she is getting older? I had to have my car towed and had to leave work early, which I hate doing because it makes me feel like I'm leaving everyone else to do my work, but I did not want another repeat with the towing situation that happened in june.

September 19th. I finally put on my brave face and ordered a new laptop for myself earlier this month (the 5th to be precise) and today it finally arrived. I bought myself an HP omen gaming laptop. It's so nice, but also different and a little scary trying to adjust to all this new interface. I went from using windows 7 for the last 11 years to jumping into windows 11. It'll be an adjustment. Gotta re-download all my old programs and transfer my files. Hope my drawing tablet will still work on this laptop. Might have to buy a new one of those as well. I already hate the subscription model being used if you want to do ANYTHING with the tech YOU BOUGHT nowadays. Goodbye microsoft office! It was fun while I knew you! I got libreoffice now! Fuck off adobe! OpenShot and Shotcut are my video editing programs now! I still need to learn my way around OBS, opentoonz, and pencil2d, but I gotta say there's something.... rustic? homey? about having a desktop full of opensource programs made by people who want to help other creatives free of charge. I miss the days where you buying something meant you own it forever, but free homegrown programs updated by community feels friendlier than just owning a shiny "offical" big named piece of software, I gotta admit.

The new laptop is wonderfully fast and silent. It cost me 2 grand so I hope it lasts just as long as my old one. There is no removable battery from what I can tell, which is sad. Also no disc drive. The keys light up rainbow which is cool (but I had to turn that feature off to improve battery life). I customized the desktop background to some concept art of the videogame RiME. (I thought I had saved the default bg pic from my old laptop to my external hard drive, but I guess I hadn't?) Funny to me that in the 10+ years of owning my second ever laptop, I never changed the wallpaper because I liked the default art so much. Might add more art to a file and have the wallpaper rotate. I want to replay RiME again too. Love the simple gameplay and strong colors of that game.

October 4th. So much has happened in 2 weeks, it feels much longer than that. I pretty much completely switched to using my new lap top ad my main computer, transferred all the files, downloaded a bunch of open source software for writing documents, video editing, streaming and animation. Fuck you Microsoft. I shouldn't need an account to use basic microsoft word. Hope to bring back page making streams next year for patrons~ ive even been playing some steam games that my old laptop just couldn't run, and quite a few new ones as well. Candleman, carto, so many fun and charming titles~ replaying snakebird because all my progress was lost 🥲I'm not mad. I love snake bird.

I have so much desire to do so many things, but not enough time to do them. I need to queue up my november posts for tumblr before I go on break. I need to get my oil changed soon. I want to go back on steam and play more humongous entertainment games. I want to write, I want to draw, I want to animate, I want to learn how to quilt and crochet and garden. I want to do it all right now all at the same time. I want to go on a nature walk. I want to see my friends.

Its finally starting to cool off. We still get in the 90s easily, but it rained last night for the first time in weeks, and we havent hit 100 degrees in a couple of days. Been reading a lot of webtoons lately. Been having the urge to start my own with my original storylines, or at least use webtoons as a backup/mirror for my fan comic. So many unique stories there all ready. So many fun art style and worlds to get lost in. I love stories and the people that tell them. The joy of creating a tale and sharing it with the world is humanity in its purest form.

November 1st: youtube is cracking down on adblockers. Havent had any problems yet on desktop, but on this day, my default youtube app on my lg smart phone started showing me ads for the first time in the 8+ years I've had it. I was so mad that i forced stopped the app, and logged into youtube through an ad block browser app instead. Some of the app's features will be missed, like being able to watch a video and search at the same time, but these little annoyances are nothing compared to the fury I felt at being shown ads. I didn't write nearly as much as I wanted to for nanowrimo today because of this.

November 6th: I turned 31! Both my friends forgot my birthday, and I wasn't able to reserve a camping site for the April 8th eclipse next year! 🙃 ive been writing like mad for nanowrimo, but I'm still falling behind.

December 17. Has it really been a whole month since i last made a diary update? Thanksgiving came and went. No drama at our house but my mom and I watched an argument unfold in the yard of our neighbors. The one mobile game I play, dragon's world, officially shut down for me 4 days ago. I'm a little sad I could never 100% it, but glad I got as far as I did, and even managed to buy some dergs so it didnt feel all my hard earned gems went to waste. Havent uninstalled the app yet out of nostalgia, even though I only played this game for a year and a half. I made the mistake of reinstalling the google play store to look for a new dragon raising game, but none had the same appeal, and the reinstall caused my discord app to update and hate it ):< I kinda want to learn how to make a mobile game of my own like dragons world, but with gryphons instead and a focus on rescue/rehabilitation and zoology angle. (I mostly just dont like how common fighting is in these kind of games.) Finally been playing horizon forbidden west after a few months away. I'm not progressing the story, just trying to max upgrade all my gear. It's a fun challenge~

December 26, 2023. Got bit by a dog at work on Christmas. Right on the nail of my middle finger. He broke my nail but not my skin. Its odd. Thankfully I can still draw without much issue. I got a tetanus shot and flu shot just to be safe. Mom got me a tent for Christmas because I plan to go camping by myself next year, even though I wont get to see the eclipse on my outing.

The fan game undertale yellow came out on the 9th… Which was before my last journal update? I've been enjoying the game play but the story is just a little... eh. the sprite work is phenominal, though, no complaints there. I hate that it's making me want to write my own AU version of it already to "improve" it, since I think the story loses its way pretty much once you leave the ruins. (maybe I can try to shove it into Clemency in stead since i still haven't finished that either).

I watched a documentary on kangaroos on netflix this month. I had to play it at 1.25 speed because I swear they slowed down every single clip for the film to get it to a certain length. I also watched "dog gone trouble" which had terrible voice work and awful character design, and then "back to the outback" which was surprisingly well made even if the characters stumbled sometimes, but I'd easily recommend it. I want to watch more Christmas movies before the year is through. (A/N: this also did not happen).

Finally uninstalled dragons world today. My phone's been acting up. Hope I don't have to replace it soon. I don't like how, nowadays, the technology I pay for, I don't actually own, and features are being removed left and right. I'm afraid any "new" phone on the market offered now won't nearly last as long as my current one has.

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Aaand that was a brief glimpse into my year! The time is now 1:10pm! I already have one other post going up today, so I'll queue this one to go up on thursday instead~ if you managed to read this far, thank you so much, i guess! I hope my ramblings don't make you see me differently as a person. It's odd reflecting on where I was in my life over these past 12 months, remembering my state of mind and the feelings I felt as I wrote these entries. I'll be sure to do it again this year.

Overall, did I learn anything?...no, I don't think so? I did come to the realization that at the end of every year, in multiple youtube videos and tumblr posts, people mentioned how hard the year was for them, but like... after june, for me, everything improved quite a lot. it doesn't feel right to say that 2023 was hard for me. It was unbearably sad for me at the beinging. annoying and (physcially) painful half way through, but once august hit... everything slowly started to get better, despite the small petty things I complained about in my journal entries above. youtube ads, car troubles and discontinued apps of games I enjoyed still feel like small potatoes when compared to what I accomplished. Finished writing a draft of personal fiction, finished a major arc of a fan comic, got a new laptop to stream and share art with others, played a bunch of new video games, and generally enjoyed life for the latter half of this year.

And it almost feels selfish to say that... I'm happy.

I hope I can stay happy in 2024 as well.

Thanks for reading~

Have a safe and joyous 2024~

[earl-grey-by-the-lake]

Random Glitch Trio Headcanons

(aka i'm in my idw sonic brainrot era and remembered i have a tumblr to dump stuff in)

Starline

• Really into long baths (the type with candles and rose petals everywhere)

• Would be obsessed with Lush bath bombs if they existed in Sonic's world

• Acts really pretentious about music, books, films, etc., only claiming to like highly obscure and experimental stuff (bonus points if it's technically complex). While he does genuinely like this stuff, he's also a fan of more 'popular' music like disney songs (or would be if they existed in Sonic's world), musicals and 80s synth.

• I could weirdly see him being into old detective novels/movies, e.g.- Poirot

• He doesn't like science fiction because it tends to be wildly inaccurate

• Spends hours daily doing his hair and makeup even if he knows he's about to get into a fight which will inevitably mess it up again (if he's going to get his hands dirty he might as well look good doing it)

• Had an emo phase in his undergrad years, refuses to talk about it

• Claims to strongly dislike cursing (it's vulgar and juvenile) but swears like a sailor when he's angry or drunk (I stole this one off the Bumblekast but come on)

• Occasionally gets drunk (he normally drinks wine because it's classy but switches to whiskey when he's in a bad mood) and makes extremely unhinged vlogs ranting about stuff, mainly Eggman (e.g.- why doesn't he notice me after everything I've done for him, why does he love his robots more than me, what does Metal Sonic have that I don't, etc...) This happened a lot during their divorce arc

• His ideal date would be a classic romantic candlelit dinner, bonus points if there is singing involved. However there is absolutely no one who could meet his impossible standards for a romantic partner except maybe Eggman and even then he's on thin ice

• Probably a good dancer

• Feels a sense of superiority over extremely 'chaotic' individuals (e.g.- Eggman, Orbot and Cubot, Rough and Tumble, his adopted children), hence why he tends to gravitate towards them. He has a habit of trying to correct and fix other people to show off how put together he is (spoiler alert: he is not put together whatsoever)

• Hopelessly addicted to caffeine

Surge

• Into shounen manga

• Has tried vaping before for the sole purpose of pissing off Starline

• Likes J-rock, metalcore and punk music

• Not really into movies or books because they're long and boring. Her attention span is like 5 minutes max, hence why she prefers comics and manga

• If she was forced to watch a movie, she'd go for a really over the top silly horror movie. she's easily scared by psychological horror/anything with a lot of jumpscares though (not that she would admit it in a million years)

• Likes spicy food and sushi

• Has shoplifted before and will do it again

• Commits arson on a regular basis, Kit frequently depletes his water reservoir trying to put out the fires before Starline finds out

• Would shop at Hot Topic

• Her ideal date would be something super energetic like paintball or laser tag. She would then proceed to get excessively competitive (read: violent) and scare off any potential suitors.

• Starline once took her and Kit to a Disneyland equivalent for 'family bonding'. She used her super speed to cut the lines, made a rollercoaster go faster with her electric powers (because it was too slow- boring!) causing it to derail and almost murder the several children unfortunate enough to be on the ride with her, and set fire to at least one food stand. All three of them are now banned for life.

• She would probably hang out with the Babylon Rogues from time to time

• Unlike Starline and Kit she is a morning person, and is extra loud and obnoxious around them at this time of day just to be an asshole (Kit doesn't mind though)

Kit

• Likes reading technical manuals/long academic texts (aka Surge's worst nightmare)

• Really into horror, especially psychological and body horror (he would really like Junji Ito manga), but doesn't get to watch horror movies much because Surge doesn't like them

• He doesn't like music that much, if he had to listen to something he would prefer white noise because he finds the repetitive sound comforting

• Doesn't really have any food preferences but he likes coffee

• Secretly returns the stuff Surge shoplifts because he feels guilty

• Likes tinkering with bits of tech in his free time

• On the aforementioned 'family bonding' trip, Kit almost murdered the employees of a haunted house because they startled Surge (not that she would ever admit it), contributing to the lifelong ban

• Sometimes stays up all night reading or working on a project, he always looks tired during the day because he doesn't get much sleep

• His ideal date would be a non-existent one because he can't be away from Surge for more than 5 minutes without feeling anxious (also he's like 8). However he would probably stalk Surge on her date and try to sabotage it because he doesn't trust the other person to treat her right

• Is going to have an emo phase in a few years' time, following in the footsteps of his father (ik he's already emo but I mean like he'll start getting more into the music and fashion)

• Is actually capable of being pretty snarky but is too shy to say most of it out loud (he mocks Starline relentlessly in his head though)