#me while crying: no no its just a tape its fine

[1980ssunflower]

Man, I just want to hold my loves tightly and securely against me during their most vulnerable moments

[libraryofneith]

Out of Mind - Chapter 11 (Joel Miller x Female Reader)

@hiroikegawa @evyiione @orcasoul

Guess who just graduated and got into grad school! And how am I celebrating? By abandoning my academic endeavours for my fics.

I know it's been a slow burn but we are so close I promise!

If you want to be the first to know when this fic is updated let me know and I'll add you to the taglist.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Summary: Joel shelters you from the storm

Tags/Warnings: [whole fic is 18+, minors DNI], it puts its age in the bio or it gets the block button, nearly freezing to death, survival, nudity, just for body heat honest

It was funny. Moments ago, all he'd wanted was sleep and now he'd done all that he could do, now that he finally could sleep, he was wide awake.

Joel

The door wouldn't budge. The hinges creaked and groaned with protest and refused to give way. Joel cursed. He would have to put her down.

She gave a muffled cry of protest as he lay her gently in the snow but it couldn't be helped. He was going to have to put his full weight behind this next push and he couldn't do that while carrying her.

She'd collapsed a while back. She'd lasted longer than he'd feared she would but a combination of the cold, the climb and the lack of sleep eventually drained the last of her energy and she'd curled up in the snow, letting the blizzard cover her, refusing to budge.

"We have to keep going."

"Can't."

"C'mon, we're nearly there."

"You said that an hour ago." Had it been an hour? Time didn't seem to mean anything anymore. There was too much snow to see the sky and he didn't have the strength to look up. Just ahead. He had to keep looking ahead.

"You can't stay here."

"Just let me rest a bit. Just a bit. I'll be fine in a minute." Joel had heard that before. Before, he had pressed on regardless, leaving it to the other person to get back up or lie there and let the snow take them. Perhaps she'd get back up if he left her. Perhaps not. He was not taking that chance.

With her in his arms he couldn't shield his face from the snowstorm and he got turned around four times. Five times he thought he spied the cabin but it turned out to be a large tree, if anything at all. So when he finally saw it, he thought it was his mind playing tricks on him again and he nearly sobbed with relief when the house stayed where it was as he walked on. Now he was there and they couldn't get in.

He took a few steps back then rushed forward covering his head as he bulldozed the door open and fell through. It took the rest of his willpower to get back up.

She barely said or did anything as he dragged her in and that chilled him more than any snow or wind. So he got to work quickly. He taped the door shut to keep out the wind, and any other unwelcome elements. Mercifully there was the remains of a fire in the fireplace and some scraps of paper and twigs. Not enough for a huge fire but it would have to do, any wood out there would be soaked. He got the flames going then took out his flask and cursed as he realised the whisky was frozen into slush. He put it by the fire to warm up then turned to her.

"Ciara"

"Mmmph"

"We're inside but we're gonna freeze in these clothes, you understand?"

"Ciara wake up." Her eyes were open but she seemed dazed.

"OK?"

"Ciara we both need to strip naked, can you do that?" She closed her eyes and groaned.

"Do you need me to help?" A nod. Thank god. He hoped she didn't give him hell later. He stripped himself first. It felt weird taking her clothes off while he still had all of his on. Maybe that made no sense but it was how he felt.

He felt no less cold naked than he had fully clothed, but she shivered as each layer of wet clothing was peeled off and when he exposed her skin, it was so icy that he hissed through his teeth like he'd been burned. But he had to keep going or they were both goners. There was still a bed with a duvet so they wouldn't have to use their wet sleeping bags. He grabbed the duvet and blanket and covered them both and they each took a swig of the semi warm whiskey. Joel shuddered at the cold slush but the burning taste helped a lot. He had to help her, tilting her head back so she could drink. She gagged at the taste but kept it down.

It was funny. Moments ago, all he'd wanted to do was sleep but now that he'd done all that he could do, now that he finally could sleep, he was wide awake. Adrenaline was coursing through his body. He couldn't believe they'd actually made it. And now they were lying here. Like two icicles stuck together.

As much as he hated to admit it, he'd imagined being pressed to her naked form so many times but not like this, not with the two of them barely holding on to consciousness. He'd made sure to look as little as possible but the glimpses - the bare shoulders, the curve where her neck met her body, the divot between her shoulder blades… it was the sweetest form of torture. How was a man meant to sleep just inches away from that? Still, he felt his eyes growing heavy as we watched her, her hair cascading down her back, moving with each breath. He found himself fighting sleep but as he gazed at the hair on the nape of her neck, he was pulled into the smell, the feel and the sweet sweet warmth of her.

[ifitmeanslosingyouthenno]

au in which nathaniel is married to riko part 2 (part 1)

(like 2 people asked for this but lmao thats good enough for me)

i had to think hard about this ngl, i kinda just like leaving my thoughts open ended like that, and i had a choice, to like, be nice to neil

here is the opposite of that <3

tw for domestic abuse, manipulation, suicide attempt

neil doesn't truly remember what happens next, he just knows he's in a hotel room and he's in pain and he can barely open his eyes and he can see riko is right there in the room and neil just wants to cry and scream and go back and he doesn't want to be here

and riko is right fucking there and he's threatening neil and he's just going on and on about how much trouble he's been, and how much trouble he's going to be when they get back to new york and how riko wont ever let him slip away like that again

and then riko just fucking... stops, stops shouting, stops pacing, stops spitting things at neil, and he just cries and tells neil how much he has missed him all these years and he apologizes and he holds neil close despite the pain, despite the wounds, and he promises to be better, he promises he will take care of neil

no, not of neil

of nathaniel

and nathaniel, exhausted and terrified and hopeless and in agony, can do nothing but whisper to riko to take him home, even if the words taste like venom, even if there's nothing he wants to do more than throw up, even if there are tears rolling down his cheeks and blood covering his skin

because this is all there is for him right? neil josten wasn't real, his hopes and his friends and his family and his- no, andrew is not his anymore, none of the foxes are

neil josten's life isn't nathaniels

it never was

bc neil josten didn't exist in the first place and he never should have existed

meanwhile back in seattle (and what neil doesn't know), andrew felt guilt of all things, at seeing the look of heartbreak in neils face, of hope and despair and loss, so he forces himself to stop off the road not even a kilometer later (don't ask me about miles i have no idea how those work) and he kinda just hits his steering wheel in a sprout of anger but he cant make himself to go back just yet, so he calls aaron

aaron kinda just yells at him lol, bc he's been worried about neil himself all morning and him and kate are dying bc they are scared and they just want to know how neil is doing, and like aaron just makes andrew go back for neil while aaron gets there

except neil is gone

obviously, bc wtf andrew its been like half an hour where you expecting him to be waiting for you?

and when he asks around well, the cashier just knows, ah yes the fidgety redhead kid? oh yeah some rich asian guy in a mercedes picked him up, yeah they looked close, the asian guy even hugged him and basically left clinging off the readhead, yeah sorry buddy, they left like half an hour ago, why tho? is he in some kind of trouble?

and andrew just, loses it

the next few days are a blur for andrew, he knows wymack pulls some strings and with the help of the foxes and his own money they manage to get the recorded tapes from the security camera at the gas station and its grainy as shit and

and why the fuck is riko moriyama hugging neil?

how does riko even know him?

it doesn't make any sense, why is riko kissing neil, andrew’s neil, like there's no tomorrow??

why is neil leaving with him??

and why the fuck is riko posting a picture on instagram, ready to fucking come out and announce that he has a husband??

and why is that husband neil??

except its not neil, except riko says his husband is nathaniel, and well would you look at that?? nathaniel is nothing but a fucking liar, who didnt tell him that he's with someone else, who didn't even tell him his fucking name

andrew loses himself a little after that, even if he convinces himself that he's fine, that he even ended things with him, that neil is living the happy rich life with the richest and most popular man in exy, good riddance

(but andrew can never forget, not only the good things about the relationship, no, what he can never forget is neil- nathaniel's flinches, the way he would curl up into himself when someone spoke too loud, the fear in his eyes whenever he messed up at something, the quiet sadness when they- when they started being something, andrew and neil, and he confessed that he was scared of things changing, and he confessed that it was scary to open up to someone, the again implicit in his shaky voice)

(andrew can never forget the rage when neil confessed he wasn't in the mood for sex most times, and the confusion when andrew said they didn't have to have sex when it was a no, the rage at neil's soft whispered "i can say no?")

andrew can never shake off the feeling that something is so fucking wrong, but he convinces himself to stay the fuck out of it, that its none of his fucking business, that nathaniel can live his life however he fucking wants to, andrew doesn't need him, he never has (he's always been a good liar)

months go by, in which riko posts pictures of his perfect life with his perfect husband, who doesn't have social media accounts of his own bc he likes his privacy (then why is riko sharing his pictures-)

months go by where andrew gets drunk beyond relief, but he needs to keep his pro career to pay aarons tuition so he sucks it up and does the bare fucking minimum while making sure he doesn't get fired

aaron can never truly shake off the worry, he and katelyn were the ones who saw him when he arrived, beat up and terrified and so dangerously hurt, and how hard it was for him to open up and start to accept good things, kind things

so he keeps up with them, with rikos pictures and videos and stories, trying to find proof that there's nothing wrong there, trying to find a way to convince himself that no, he's making it all up bc he himself was abused by somone he loved and trusted, and he's just proyecting

but neil is too quiet, all respectful smiles and wrapping arms around himself, always wearing baggy clothing and turtleneck shirts

the smile never reaches his eye

aaron just cant help but worry for him, bc he cant worry for andrew anymore, not he doesn't want to worry about himself, not when he's ready to pretend nothing happened and wants to keep going like neil didn't even exist

its aarons day off, and it's been 8 months since he's seen neil when he gets a call from an unknown number and he answers expecting to hear from a colleague or a resident or a med student on shift at the hospital

what he doesn't expect is ragged breathing from the other line

"hello? who is this?" he almost hangs up when all he gets is silence and that faint sound of breathing for a full minute, but before he can he hears a sob

"im so sorry, i didn't- i didn't know who to call"

aarons heart stops, bc its neil, holy shit its neil and he asks if neil is okay, he asks if neil is safe, he asks what's going on

neil remains silent again for too long, and his voice is barely a whisper "i will be soon"

his heart drops to his stomach, fear, no, absolute terror, engulfing him, "neil what did you do"

silence and then "he got me prescribed valium"

his heart is beating too fast too fast he's going to have a heart attack, "neil, neil i need you to tell me how many pills you took"

that for some reason brings out a small giggle, "i dont, i didn't count, i just, I just swallowed them all"

"neil i need you to call 911"

"i dont want to do that"

"neil, please please call 911"

"i just, im sorry i called you, i just didn't want to be alone, i- andrew didn't pick up the phone"

aaron can feel the tears on his face, "neil please, just call 911, I'll, tell me where you are and i can come get you okay? you dont, you dont have to do this"

he takes a beat too long to answer, and he does with a sob "i cant take this anymore aaron, i can't- i can't stand living with him anymore, he won't let me go any other way"

"neil i promise I can get you help, legal help, we can get you away from him, you would never have to see him again, you would be safe"

neil is still crying, "it didn't work before, it, nothing works, nothing- this will make it better"

aaron is starting to hyperventilate, "neil, please just..."

"can you, can you tell andrew i didn't mean to fuck it up? i couldn't- i couldn't marry him without getting a divorce and I couldn't- i didn't want himto find me"

"neil you can tell him yourself, lets just call 911"

his words are slurring, he sounds so tired, "thank you for being such a, such a good friend aaron"

he's too quiet on the other line, aaron is fucking terrified, god he's crying and panicking, god what does he do what does he do

he puts the phone on speaker and texts kate who's just out getting takeout and god he really needs her right fucking now

thankfully, he hears the car come in the driveway and he runs down the stairs to meet her

the call is still going, but neil hasn't said anything

"neil?? are you still there?? NEIL??"

by the time kate opens the door, he's telling her to call 911, they're able to locate calls right?? even if neil hasn't answered, the call is active, thats enough right??

"i have someone on the line who i think is attempting suicide, i- i dont know where he is, and he isn't answering, but the call is still going"

its enough

"an ambulance is on its way, do you have any idea of what happened?"

"i think he overdosed on diazepam"

"you did great by calling us"

they can do nothing but sit in silence, call ongoing in aaron's phone, holding each other as they both cry and pray to a god aaron barely believes in that the ambulance gets there in time

he can't even read how much time has passed on the phone, when he's suddenly aware of noise on the other end of the line, what sounds like a door breaking, and then chaos

he can't distinguish what's happening, he doesn't know if they got there in time or not

"hello?? is someone there??"

"YES, yes is he alive? is he...?"

"he's alive, just barely, we gave him an antidote to reverse the effects and he's breathing, you did a great job sir"

"can you tell me where you're taking him? im in seattle but i will book a flight as soon as i can"

they tell him the name of the hospital, they tell him he will probably be there for a few days under suicide watch

before the paramedic ends the call he makes himself say, "can you make sure his husband doesn't see him? he's, he abuses my friend, he's the reason he took those pills"

the paramedic takes a deep breath, "can you tell me his name? the husband's?"

his voice trembles, "riko moriyama"

"i will personally make sure he doesn't have access to him"

"thank you"

the phone disconnects at last and through the tears, the first thing aaron does is book two flights for new york

one for him and one for katelyn

he hesitates, before rubbing his eyes free of tears and realizing andrew is in a game

he books a third ticket leaving a few hours later than his and kate's, grabs a bag and they're out the door in less than 5 minutes

he can do nothing to leave a voicemail for Andrew's phone, that he knows will destroy him and give kevin a headsup too, bc he might not be much, but he's all the support andrew is gonna have at the time

he prays to the god he's believing in a little bit more than he did an hour ago, and asks nothing more than for neil to be okay when they get to new york

did not mean for this to become longer than 2 parts oop

[topguncortez]

Is this Real? | Over the Rainbow Series

previous part | masterlist | next part

Dragon & Rooster Masterlist | Opposites Attract Masterlist

✧ synopsis: Its the terrifying weeks between doctors appointments that have the Bradshaws on edge, and one wanting Black Licorice

✧ word count: 1.1k

✧ warnings: pregnancy, IVF, mentions of past miscarriages, PTSD, medical jargon

For three weeks, Dragon had been testing her hCG levels at home daily, slowly watching as they started to rise. It was hard to try and keep her emotions at bay. The transfer had gone on without a hitch. Rooster held her hand and was by her side the whole time. His brown eyes watched on the screen as Doctor Miller talked through the process. He smiled, letting his gloved finger run over the screen and whispered a soft “hey baby” as the egg was implanted into Dragon’s uterus. Rooster was always so positive during the first weeks, while Dragon tried to keep herself with scotch tape and glue. 

She wasn’t sure if it was the added hormones in her body making her want to cry everything seconds of it was the thought of knowing she could possibly be pregnant. Rooster was right by her side, every single morning as she took the hCG test. He would stand in the doorway or sit on the bed with their golden retriever, Fozzy, watching Dragon move around the bathroom. The whole process had basically become muscle memory for her. When the timer would go off, Rooster would get up and check the tests for her. 

“Darker than the last one,” Rooster said, looking in the mirror at his wife. Dragon nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. Rooster stood up and walked over to her. He gently lifted her chin to look at him, “Three more days until you can take a pregnancy test. The line keeps getting darker every day. All good signs.” 

Dragon nodded, “I know,” She let out a shaky breath, “We’ve been here before and I just. . . I get scared. What if my body is tricking me again? What if, What if it doesn’t stick?” 

“We just can’t think like that until we take the test and get confirmation from Doctor Miller,” Rooster said and Dragon looked up at him. She puckered her lips and Rooster smiled, placing a kiss on her soft pink lips. 

“Can you do me a favor?” 

“Anything, honey.” 

“I really, really, really want,” Dragon grabbed his hands in hers, squeezed them and placed a kiss on his knuckles, “Black licorice from the candy shop down on second.” 

Bradley scrunched his eyebrows at her request. Of all the things she could ask for, this is what she wanted. She had some odd cravings with her past pregnancies, but this was a new one. But Bradley knew that he had somehow made a mistake as he watched the tears start to well up in her eyes. 

“Oh no, honey don’t-” 

Dragon held her hand up, cutting him off, “It’s fine. I’ll just go cry over my flight plans and eat red licorice. It’s totally fine.” 

“I-” Rooster opened his mouth to say something as Dragon briskly walked away from him and down to their home office, “I love you!” 

“Fuck off!” 

“Yep, you too, babe,” Rooster sighed and hung his head. He looked up at the dog that was sitting on their bed, “What are we gonna do, Foz?” As if the dog could understand him, he jumped off the bed and ran down towards the home office, “Traitor!” 

— — — 

Rooster whistled as he pulled his golf clubs out of the back of his truck, putting them in their spot in the garage. It was the first saturday of the month, which meant it was “book club” as Dragon liked to call it. But it was otherwise known as the monthly golf outing with the boys. It was Javy’s idea to have a saturday just for the guys, and somehow they all decided on going to play golf. Rooster didn’t even know that half the squad could play golf, and it showed month after month. 

Walking into the house, Rooster toed off his half tied tennis shoes, and set his keys on the hook by the door. The house was quiet, which was a rare occurrence for a saturday. Usually Rooster would come home to Phoenix’s car blocking his spot (something she did on purpose) making him have to park on the street. The sisters used the boys’ golf outing to their advantage and usually spent the morning making breakfast and gossiping. Rooster quickly checked his phone, making sure that his wife didn’t want him to grab anything on his way home. 

“Honey?” Rooster called out through the quiet house.

“Upstairs,” Dragon called softly. Rooster climbed the stairs, taking two at a time, seeing the light on in their bedroom.

“Hey,” Rooster smiled, seeing her snuggled up in bed with Fozzy. The dog’s head was in her lap, Dragon was running her hand over his soft fur while her other hand held a book. Doctor Miller had recommended Dragon to bedrest while in the waiting stage of IVF, hoping to keep her stress levels down. Bradley flopped down on the bed, laying on the other side of Fozzy, “How was your day?” 

“Good,” Dragon said, closing her book and putting it on the side table, “How was golfing with the boys?” 

“Eventful, like always.” Rooster laughed, “Only managed to create a couple new holes in the ground, and lose the ball twice.”

“That’s better than last week,” Dragon said.

“Small improvements.”

Dragon smiled, “Hey, can you go grab me the box of Kleenex from the bathroom? I need to blow my nose.” 

“Yeah,” Rooster said and rolled over, getting off the bed and walking into the bathroom. Dragon looked at Fozzy, and nodded her head towards the ground. The dog obliged and jumped down, going straight to his bed on the floor. 

Rooster mumbled some words to a song he heard on the radio as he flipped on the bathroom light. Dragon shifted in bed, moving so she could watch Rooster in the bathroom mirror. He reached for the box of kleenex on the counter, and faltered. His jaw fell open slightly as he retracted his hand, his brown eyes looking down at the plastic sticks laid out on the counter. Rooster brought his hand up to his mouth, covering it as he looked down at them in disbelief. 

“Honey?” Rooster called out softly. He gingerly picked up one of the sticks and walked into the bedroom. Dragon moved to sit on the edge of the bed, and Rooster knelt down in front of her, “Is this. . .,” His voice caught in this throat as he wiped a tear from his eye, “Is this real?” 

Dragon nodded and grabbed his hand, “I haven’t gone to Doctor Miller for real confirmation but I think it is. I took like three of them.” 

“Four,” Rooster looked up at her, “There’s four and they’re all positive.” 

“They are all positive,” Dragon smiled and Rooster wrapped his arms around her midsection, pressing his head into her belly. Dragon ran her hand over his curls as she felt tears hit her shirt. Bradley had always been the more emotional one in the beginning but became solid as a rock as things progressed. 

He sniffled and pulled his head back from her belly, placing one of his large hands there, “Hi baby, or babies,” Dragon giggled, “I’m your daddy.”

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taglist: @princess76179 @bradleybeachbabe @yanna-banana @xoxabs88xox @milestomaverick @startrekfangirl2233 @caitsymichelle13 @peakascum @seitmai @lumpypoll

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[chloe-caulfield94]

I won’t do this

I can’t

I don’t want to

There’s no absolution to be gained

for my sin

by sweeping its victim

under the rug

It crushes me to know

that you wanted crumbs from my table

to be your last supper

I don’t know

what happened yesterday

A switch was flipped

in my brain

(or in my soul?)

and I became

a better version of myself

for a day

She’s gone now

but the feelings she brought

from a different world

beyond the sea

still remain

like a pirate’s treasure chest

full of Spanish dubloons

that people would kill for

I feel

bitter shame

that I left you

in the rear-view mirror

Cool relief

that now I know

why I am in this world

Sweet joy

of hearing your voice

Electric excitement

of touching you again

It doesn’t matter if we manage

to claw back from the universe

all the years I stole from you

or if a storm washes us away tomorrow

We can be happy

and carefree

and yes

we can love

even on the darkest of days

Your life is not yet forfeit

even if you can’t see it now

because of my cowardice

I want to hold your hand

even though you can’t

hold mine back

I want to kiss your lips

and I know you can

kiss mine back

Whatever time we have left

I desire for it to be filled

with many more days

like the one we just had

The real treasure is love, I said

in what feels like another life

But it was just a few steps from here

and I still mean it

I promised over and over

to stay at your side

and with all my heart

I intend to keep my word

this time

Even if you don’t want me to

Yet

----------------------------------

„I am never leaving you again!”. The powerful and beautiful promise was still hanging in the air, like the last part of an echo slowly fading away, when Max regained control of her body.

“I love you” – Max said in a loud and confident voice.

Chloe turned her head towards Max. Chloe’s eyes, red and wet from crying now expressing surprise. And something else. Was it a tiny flicker of hope? Max wanted to believe that.

Max continued her confession: “I love you. I promised to always love you on that stupid recording which I sent you after your accident, as salt for your wounds. And here I am, years too late. But I love you!”

The flicker of hope was gone from Chloe’s eyes, like a tiny flame blown out by cold wind. She lowered her gaze to her own motionless body and said: “It’s fine, Max. You don’t owe me anything. I should have never asked you for that”. In a much quieter voice she added: “Your tape was not like salt. It was like a bandage. It got me through the months after my accident. I would listen to it on repeat. Even after it became clear you would never come”. Chloe lifted her gaze and looked at Max. The utter hopelessness in Chloe’s eyes broke Max’s heart. Chloe continued: “You don’t have to wallow with me in my misery. You don’t have to sit here. I release you from your promise. Go back to the life you��ve built out there, outside of my cage. Go back to the friends who won’t bring you down. You’ve spent a day with a dying friend. You’ve done your good deed”.

Even though Chloe spoke calmly, her words were like a whip. Max was filled with shame, so bitter that she could taste it on her tongue.

“I am not here because of words I said years ago. I’ve already proven that I don’t care about my own word. I am here because I love you now. I know I don’t have to be here. But I want to. You can release me from my already broken promise. But you can’t tell me not to love you”.

“What does that even mean, Max? That you love me?”

“It means this …” – Max placed her hand on Chloe’s hand. Even though Chloe didn’t feel it, she blushed. “And it also means this …” – slowly, looking Chloe deep in the eyes, Max brought her face close to Chloe’s and gently kissed her on the lips. Chloe kissed her back, making up for her inexperience with eagerness.

A smile lingered on Chloe’s lips for a while. But then her hopelessness dealt her another blow.

“God, Max, I am so pathetic. You saw me staring at you the entire night and you decided to give me a pity kiss goodbye”.

Max knew making up for years of neglect was going to be difficult. But she wasn’t about to give up easily.

“That was not a kiss goodbye. It was a kiss welcome. And I kissed you not out of pity, but because I wanted to. Very much”.

“Max, you know I’m dying, right? We don’t know how much time I have left. Maybe in six months I’ll be long gone”.

“I don’t care. If the time still left is short, that’s all the more reason not to waste even a moment of it. Chloe, it kills me to know that you wanted crumbs from my table to be your last supper. Just one day and that’s it? But what if we could have many more days like that?”

“But … I didn’t think you’d actually want to stick around with me for longer than that”.

“Whatever time you have left, however long or short it might be, I want to share it with you. Every moment. That’s what me loving you means”.

They sat looking in each other’s eyes for a longer while, processing the momentous revelations of the day. And it was still just early morning.

The beautiful moment was cut short when an alarm in Max’s cell phone started ringing.

“Shit! I have classes soon. I’ll come back straight after school, I promise, Chloe”.

When Max was at the door, Chloe said to her: “Max, please. If you don’t mean the things you've said, if you don’t actually want me, if you’re not going to come back, you have to tell me now. You can’t give a gift like that and then take it away”.

Max walked over to Chloe, kissed her hair and said confidently: “I’ve never been more serious in my life”.

Chloe was smiling when Max left the room.

[captain-mj]

I am here to beg for more selkie au. Its so cute and has my whole heart (i feel so bad for poor soaps mom)

Here ya go! this is probably the second to last to chapter btw

Ghost sat outside, smoking quietly. Every puff, he'd pass it to Soap who would pass it to Davina and then Rosy and then Iris and then they'd hand it back. It was a bit silly, treating a simple cig like a joint, but it was funny so he let it slide.

"Used to smoke cigs on my roof with Tommy. Good times." Simon told them, lighting another one to share.

"Tommy?"

"Little brother. I was the best man at his wedding." Good times.

Soap glanced at him. "And I haven't met him?"

Simon imagined his bright and sunny Soap meeting Tommy. Living Tommy. They'd get along like a house on fire. Then they'd set the actual house on fire. He smiled a little, forgetting about how his scars pulled when he did. For once, no one said anything. No one looked at him like he was sad or pathetic.

"How about the next time we're on leave I'll introduce you to him?" Simon looked at Johnny. "He's dead. But I got some tapes."

"Oh..." Johnny winced. "I'm sorry."

Simon shrugged. "It's been nice. Being around you guys. Reminds me of him."

Davina hummed. "Bet he was a cool guy."

"Fucking coolest. Cooler than me that's for sure." Simon smiled. "We were in a band in high school. He played drums. I played bass."

"Any good?"

"Fucking sucked." Simon shrugged. "Nostalgic though. Loved playing. Then I went to the military. Fucked up my hands."

"You're a sniper."

"Yeah. Don't have the muscle memory for guitar anymore. Just the gun." Simon mock aimed a gun. "S'okay. Like I said. Dog shit at it. Tommy was good, but he quit for his family."

Johnny must've realized that asking about his family might not be a great idea. So did everyone else.

Fergus came home. He saw them all on the stoop outside, glancing at all of them. "You all okay?"

"Just fine, sir." Ghost answered, pulling Soap's coat further around him. His arm was around Soap, making everything feel right. Good. "Moray is making dinner I believe."

Fergus nodded. "I see..." He must've noticed something was off. But he still went inside.

Soap closed his eyes and leaned into Ghost.

They all heard the sounds of Moray beating the shit out of him. It was rough.

"Good for her."

Davina grabbed the cigarette and took a deep, deep puff. "She deserves it."

Simon nodded and lit some more cigarettes for them to all share. They all just chilled for a bit longer as he struggled to get the upper hand over a woman who was, from he sounds of it, using a frying pan.

Moray came out eventually and Ghost quickly lit one for her. She took it and started smoking quickly, hands shaking. "That was... great."

"Have fun?" Simon smiled.

Moray nodded. "I can see why you beat your father."

"Jesus, Mom." Rosy gasped.

Simon laughed. "Nah, it's fair." He checked his phone and showed Soap that they had been approved for a longer leave. They shared a look and both smiled.

"Alright, ma." Soap smiled at him. "You going to be okay?" He crouched in front of her and kissed her cheek.

Moray nodded and took a puff. "Course I will. Might disappear for a while. I... I want to come back though. See you three."

Simon didn't miss how Soap got teary eyed over it. He remembered Soap saying she'd abandon them without a second thought.

Soap must've decided he'd cry later when he was alone. Because he just nodded. "I will see you soon, Ma." He stood up.

"Alright, boys." Moray hugged him and gave him a quick squeeze. Then she hugged Simon. Soap winced and mouthed sorry to him.

Simon tensed at first before hugged back, trying to remember how his Mom would hug him after Dad had one of his episodes. She relaxed immediately.

"He's very good at hugs. And handsome. I can see why you picked him."

Simon very suddenly and aggressively realized he was not wearing anything. "Ah..." He noticed her look at the pointed ears and the odd freckles.

"Ma!!"

"Too bad he's British or he'd be perfect."

"Ma!! We have to go back to base now." Soap grabbed Ghost hard to go get packed.

[naffeclipse]

Naff. Naff! Naff!

First of all I need you to understand the sheer willpower it took to be a responsible adult and read college stuff first before diving into this chapter. A GOOD amount of willpower. It was the right decision as I would have kept zoning out thinking about this chapter because Oh. My God.

So starting from the top!

Ahhh! The little motions of Moon so tentatively trying to get some contact, but so afraid of being rejected like it has been happening killed me right from the start. Just that... that silent request. Now that they agreed to tell the truth they had hope that it would be accepted but still, it only goes to show how much it was affecting them. That distance was really hurting them.

It really felt like they were all breathing a little easier at the start. Y/n obviously needed the distraction, but them talking about Vanessa and how they really thought that Sun and Moon would like her was such a warm moment. Because they say before them, she's the only person they are close to! After all the anguish of the last chapters, it really seems like it would be the most wonderful thing to have those important to them all in one room and getting along!

Too bad the hunter had those hopes of everything being alright snatched immediately.

Seeing Vanessa's stuff was so intriguing! The candy wrappers caught my attention because I kept wondering if they were used as bait to lure the children, or if it was a nod to the tapes in security breach because if I remeber correctly 'Vanny' liked candy a lot, while Vanessa preferred not to eat it.

And oh my gosh the book!!! I'd totally forgotten with all that was happening recently, and we finally got a look at that missing page! No wonder the boys were worried, because it was a pretty suspicious similarity, although they might have been fine at the start. Who knows if after the rake incident y/n would have connected the dots, looking at them closely, though.

And oooooooh, all the evidence of the children in the vehicle. The toys, and the blood. Blood on so many things and some long dried. What a nightmare for Vanessa, who we know has had more lucid moments in all of this.

But what was the most chilling to me was the dark fliud soaking the bed. Like, until now, we have seen only trickles from the animatronic vessel. The most we have seen I think was when the body of the guy possessed by Shoh was found, and that was only dribbles from his face. It just makes me imagine how horrifying this must have been for Vanessa. The demon must have let her sleep in order to keep its vessel healthy enough to keep using. But that means she had to sleep in that. Keep adding to it every night? We know the liquid presents itself with strong emotions (or as leftover of possessions). Does this mean it happened the most after kills? Could she feel the demon's delight in what it did while she literally had to cry those emotions out??? Just oooough! ;o;

But continuing with the tour of Vanessa's home! Omg, Henry's book!! Ahhh, that's so cool! And like, if it wasn't for the current circumstances, it feels like something y/n would have loved to have found way before due to their curiosity about cryptids. I was so curious and the description of Chica gave me so many thoughts! Henry seems to be really interested in this type of demonic cryptids! The fact that he has interacted succesfully with them and everything is so so cool! (Makes me wonder what the possible existence of Charlie in this could be! Was she his child and then was attacked by the demon that now posseses Vanessa and then her fate drove Henry to investigate the demonic entities? Or maybe Marionette is a cryptid of their own hmmmm? Maybe she doesn't exist XD)

But I digress! I like that Henry is so objective about the demons. Making it clear that they follow their own rules but their ways can be seen as a type of kindness! And then we have the description of the boys and oh my gosh wasn't that the last piece of the puzzle? And the boys knew it. Moon's feeble attempts at making them stop reading made that clear, because they wanted to explain themselves, but like this it will not happen in the way they planned. But the book in a way is a good introduction, because it doesn't paint them as complete monsters, but considers their tentative good side. A good side supported by children even!

(sidenote: I find it so significant it described the boys as the ones that cared the least about adults. I'm sure in the future it might make y/n feel special XD)

But ooooh, when the book just kept slapping them with evidence that sounded way too familiar and then it was undeniable! The flash of red they literally saw at the start of this episode, before going to meet Lambert! And I absolutely loved how you put the same description of "pale unblinking glow" that the book had into the narration a couple of lines later when they turn around to see them. Really see them. It's such a powerful line to indicate that finally the connection has been made. No more denial. Time to face the music.

(and oh goshhh the detail of their heart picking up in panic and the boys immediately smiling desperately!! )

And THEN! Shoh appears! And decides to throw them off a cliff! Hunter was already on the verge of panic and now there is a second demon. (Remembering the ask you answered that said Lambert would assume he wouldn't survive if he knew for sure there were two demons. Such a neat detail that Y/n made the same assumption!)

And ahhhhh!! When they somehow survive such a fall, and then Moon is grabbed and y/n cries out for him! Because they might just have had the worst revelation of their life, but damn it that care is not just gonna evaporate!

And yes, hi, can I just say I knew it!!! >:D Shoh totally lost her tongue! And I'm so glad it was y/n who took it! I was so expecting it to be the boys that would grab it and rip it out, but it was the hunter in the end and I find that they totally deserved the credit for that particular blow!

(sidenote: as the battle went on and the boys joined in, I just had to wonder why them in particular trigger their fear so badly. I know the knowledge that Shoh is a demon affected them, but it seems the effect of just the boys presence has been paralyzing so far while when facing Shoh Could it be that physically the shadowy look and the glowing eyes just look too similar to the first demon they encountered? Hmmmm)

And then oooooh boy, Shoh took revenge for her tongue kgfdhgjk, just straight up tore that arm! Ouuuch, poor boys! Too bad for her that was not enough because they sure did finish her! If I remember correctly there was mention that they tore into her chest, so I can't help but wonder if the fact that they were wounded so seriously made them instinctively go for the place where a heart would be even if they already knew she didn't have one!

(sidenote 3: Naff, I'm praising you so much for your action scenes! The pace in this one was just impeccable and it was so impressive the way you divided the attention between the fight and the internal turmoil of the hunter! That's not easy to do but I was immersed from start to finish!)

But talking about turmoil! Ahhh, I was just waiting for the moment they would snap. And I just gotta say! The doppelganger's impression of what Sun and Moon would see when the truth came out now seems mild in comparison kfsdjkjfg And I mean, completely justified! The hunter has been stretched too thin for far too long now, and now the demon that just tore apart another demon in front of them started reacing for them? No wonder they would have a full blown panic attack when seeing there was nowhere to run!

Ahhh and then the boys trying to help them calm down! With how fast their heart was beating, I wonder if they worried somwhat that y/n's heart would give out if they didn't calm down soon enough.

Oh, I gotta say how nicely the next scene is sort of opposite to the main secret of the fic. The denial of any signs of the hunter's dear friend being anything more than an animatronic vs the denial of a demon not about to tear them apart despite the evidence of their protection after they admitted to what they are. But ahhh they are really looking now, and I like that even exhausted as they are, they really are thinking about everything now.

(sidenote I lost count: They KISS THE SCAR!! Ahhhhh!! Just the- the contrast!!! The fact that the injury was made in the most malicious of ways by an awful being, only for Eclipse to come and use their mouth not as an attack but as a sign of affection and to show they really do mean it that they would never hurt them)

Ahhh, and the fact that y/n also has that "it's them" moment! Because it is! Suddenly their friend doesn't seem like a lie after all and that's a whole spectrum of confusing emotions but. They can look in the demon's eyes and see them.

(sidenote: hehe, the "you wish to write this down" made me smile. Even through all the terror, it's so them to want to study and know more)

God, I also love so much how they're still so unsure and having a constant back and forth from oh, yeah they're my friend after all, and oh god this is a demon and if they wanted they could kill me, but then again they haven't but- but DEMON. The line of it being pointless to run? Ooooh, I kinda want to know what the boys would think of that particular thought, because on one hand it's an objective fact. On the other, it's a clear sign that y/n does still very much feel like potential prey. Like they really don't have much choice here and are kinda resigned about this all. I guess in a way they have reason to be wary of y/n having their weapons. If they decided they suddenly wanted to use them, attempting to stop them would make this a lot more unpleasant for everyone and they probably would be in trouble if after a fight like that they were hit with any of the weapons. But also! They shouldn't be surprised they were screaming. XD Lots of the screaming poor y/n did they didn't even hear because they were swallowing it all dlkghjk

Oh, and finally! I wanted to comment on some of the symbolism sprinkled in this final part! Just! Like the fall and the destruction of the airstream, matching so well how the metaphorical rug was just pulled under their feet. How both physically and knowledge wise, everything they knew was destroyed. Oh, and the blue and red bandages to cover the wounds! To signify that the boys will help them heal from new and old wounds!! And related to this how after feeling that they've been sinking in panic and drowning in fear, they are offered one animatronic hand and one demonic hand to get out of the gully! And they take it! They might not be sure how to feel about them yet, but for now they can at least come to accept that the demon and the one they knew as an animatronic are one and the same, and they are choosing to let them help to get them out of this dark pit they have found themselves in!

I am so extremely excited for what's to come, Naff, you have no idea! I'm keeping my eye open for that possible conversation about the hunter they killed and how the future dynamic will go! It seems they will be fighting for a while with y/n's instincts and their fear for them, not to mention the matter of the whole heart eating deal! While they know this is what they are, I can see y/n not being ok at all with innocent people being considered alternatives for food when there are no rulebreakers around (because even the rulebreakers deserving it will probably be hard to convince them of. I feel like the hunter is gonna be staring at their moral compass for a good while to try and find their north here).

But kjfgdhkhjgsdf it's 4 am now so I gotta go pass out now XD (If you find anything that sounds a bit weird sorry about that, brain is more wired to speaking spanish than english at this hour XD)

Outstanding chapter! You knocked it out of the park with this reveal! 1000 000/10 Also you are the Sonic the Hedgehog of writers with how fast you have been posting these kjhdfghj

Amazing work as always!! <3

ALSDFJASFD AHHH CHATOIK I have been drinking in this comment since you first sent it and I adore every last word ♥

Charlie is a part of this AU! I haven't considered the Marionette but now that you mention it, I see her being much like the boys in terms of being child-friendly but very terrifying to adults hehe

OH! I'm so glad you noticed that little tidbit because yes, the boys tore into her chest out of instinct—that's what they know to attack and are used to doing so, and regardless of a demonic cryptid lacking a heart, it will still do a great deal of damage!

The boys could sense how erratic and rapid Y/N's heart was and that scared them the most. It was even worst than when they were enduring a night terror so the boys truly feared literally scaring Y/N to death!

If the boys knew that Y/N thought it was pointless to run, they would be so crestfallen and want to do more to reassure them that they're safe. There's no need to run even if what Y/N said is true.

Lots of screaming is a good summary of Part 3 LOL Y/N can have a little scream of frustration, as a treat (it's the opposite of a treat to Eclipse.)

Oh ho, I am very excited about that conversation of Eclipse eating rule-breakers and non-rulebreakers alike as well, and this time, there's no thirst for blood to distract Y/N from the reality of it :)

Awww, thank you so much for reading and commenting, babe! ♥

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

My dog | BandaSunato x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Pet play - Shower sex - Dark!Banda - Red flag - NSFW - Beating and cuts from Banda - NON/CON - NON-CON TOUCHING -

This was beyond humillating, having to wear a collar and bark was bad enoguht.

"Bark twice for yes and one for no, but you know what happens if you bark once"

You had to endure it. It was more physcological than anything, being beated up till your skin broke and blood spilled out only for him to lick it... and also how he would inflict cuts to get himself off.

The sight of you, weak, bruised and bloodied aroused him, the many tapes he had filmed of you with him in the background getting off.

You were repulsed.

His torture never ended. His attacks never ended. He kept you in the dark, in a single room with the door locked. You did not know how many days it has been, how many days have passed since he took you from your home.

He would come with food from time to time, he mostly gave you water, something you mistook as him being human. But it was all a sick trick to get you full of need to pee, only for him to forcefully have his way with you. Your first time squirting was by his fingers, after a full day with no bathroom. The bed was a mess, and it was messed up how he cuddled you after it. Licking your tears, and "shh its all going to be fine".

You were not sure when, all the "puppy play" had started or how he got the idea. It was better not to know, you decided one night thinking on how sick he was.

Your collar had your name, and you even had a leash to match the color of it. During these times, Banda would force you to eat from the floor, he would pet your hair and talk to you like you were his dog.

"Im taking good care of you, right?"

"You love me, right? Im a good owner after all"

If you did not bark twice to these kind of comments the consecuences were severe. Sometimes it was beating, others times no food for days or water.

The sex or well abuse during this was...well strange. He would tell you to get in all fours, just like a good dog. He would enter you from behind with minum preparation, he loved to leave bruises inside of you.

But all of it ended in you needing a shower. Banda did not like them, something among the lines "water will wash all of me from you" and god, you did want that. Wanted nothing more than to wash away all of him from you.

"Alright, you smell, and i cant let you end sick, so its time for a shower, what does my little dog say?"

He was so condescending, he knew you had no option but to agree.

The bathroom was standar, nothing fancy. The products were simple, shampoo, acondicionator and soap. Nothing more.

For a moment the idea of that you would be able to shower alone crossed your mind, but it was descarted as you saw Banda getting out of his clothes then doing the same to you.

He forced you into the shower, turning the water on, it was cold, it made you scream in suprise and shock. Banda just laughted adjusting the temperature for him to get in with you.

He made you stand up, taking the shampoo first to wash your hair. His hands did massage you, it felt oddly good from him. He then moved his fingers down to your shoulders then started to push you down on your knees.

You knew what he wanted.

Opening your mouth your tongue down, he wasted no time in getting his dick inside. He groaned, the sensation of your mouth and troath was something he adored, even if the first times you would bite him.

He pushed your head, your face almost hitting his naked body, between how deep he was and the water falling on your face it was getting hard to breath.

But you endured it till he came with a groan pushing you away.

He then took the body soap making some foam then went to clean your body. It was an excuse to touch you.

He liked to take his time with your breasts and nippels, he would also push your purpel marks hard to see you cry.

Once he finished he took a towel and dried you. While he did so he decided to give you some news.

"I saw you on tv today, they said your family has stopped looking for you"

You froze, the space around you felt numb, you felt like you were under a deep pressure, your mind was going too quick you could not understand.

Then Banda's eyes were on you, there was no emotion on them, maybe a flick of joy because of your suffering.

"Dont be sad, now i can train you to be even better"

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

https://www.tumblr.com/jamdoughnutmagician/730882062233518080

I hope this is ok and I’m not sure how to just like share it to your wall kind of thing tumbler is still kind of new to me. But the picture made me think of Curtis and Honey immediately and I hope it’s ok I shared it with you. Love there story and the playful Drabble you’ve done. I connected to that so much. My life if chaos at the moment and my bf has been a trouper and so supportive. It’s such a fine line between laughing at the bad stuff or crying and he’s held me when I cried and made sure I’m laughing too. Even if he’s a cheater and tickles..

Sorry that was a rant. Either way love Curtis and Honey and thought I would share. Thank you for the moments of peace when I’m reading your stories!

Hey babes,

its a bit of a process to learn, it doesn't really let you post on walls like FB does, but you can tag someone in a post you want them to see. Or this, this is perfectly fine with me if you wanted to stay anonymous.

Thank you so much for sharing, I can see Curtis pulling this off easily. He would make it so spontaneous too that Honey is in shock for a moment before she is shouting "YES!"

Im so happy that they have been able to be a source of comfort for you during this time, hopefully things start to get calmer and more settled for you babes. Your boyfriend sounds absolutely wonderful though, an absolute sweetheart. That support, knowing when you need some light laughter or just when to cry... oof I love that for you. It's that support we all deserve. I can even forgive him that he cheats by tickling you into giggles.

You are welcome and thank you for reading them! Honestly, they have gotten this far because of you guys letting me know what they make you think and feel. I hope this little thought helps. 💛🐝

And Chill?

Curtis x Honey Drabble

Your nose was stuck in a book, but not one of those fun ones you would become so invested in that Curtis often brought you tea and snacks after a few hours because you had forgotten.

This book was the newest teacher's handguide and it was reading as stiff as a stereo instruction manual. Already you had doodled along all the edges of the pages with random little pictures trying to keep yourself awake.

And the house was quiet, Curtis having left to help Grey and Edgar with a weekend project. So not even he could help distract you this time with it. So when you started humming along with the Halloween theme song, it clicked that the noise was coming from outside of the picture window. "What the hell?" You flung the book aside and got up from the couch to go peer outside.

Moving aside one of the gauzy curtains, you saw Curtis standing in the front yard, his black trench coat tails flipping in the bit of wind bustling the leaves around the yard among the Halloween decorations, above his head he was holding a cardboard sign reading "Horror Movies and Chill?" with a sketch of what looked like Micheal Myers peering around a bush. The music came from what looked like a dusty old tape player at his feet.

You waved quickly before bolting for the door and dancing out onto the porch. "Yes! Big giant YES!" You giggled as he let his arms drop the sign to tuck under his arm and reached to grab his boom box that was still doing the ominous theme song. "I can make us some snacks and pop some beers." You excitedly said while going down the stairs to meet him.

"No need Pretty Girl, already ordered us some takeout. You my Love just gotta get into comfier clothes than those. Although..." He leaned back a bit, smirking as his eyes fell down your teacher's outfit. "Keep on those stockings?"

"I will surprise you... Horror movies and just chill huh?" You tilted up to catch his mouth, sharing a kiss that you both grinned into.

"Cuddles too, all the cuddles Honey. Promise."

"Perfect, just what I was hoping for today, Curtis." You reached for the boom box's volume, turning it up when it switched to the Ghostbusters song, dancing away back up the stairs with a sway of your body, glancing at Curtis over your shoulder.

Curtis was right behind you, crowding you playfully through the door with a press of his body and the graze of his beard against your neck, making you tingle. Tonight was already so much better.

[shkrimpies]

The Ring (Extra Credit 4/8)

Bruh.

Maybe I've become spoiled with this class, but I really enjoyed the original film "Ringu" SO MUCH MORE than the American adaptation.

The Ring itself is a fine movie, but because it is a remake of such a film, it had some very large shoes to fill. To some extent, it absolutely did fulfill its task, however, in some aspects, it fell very flat.

For some of the positives, the effects and physical presentation of The Ring are really cool. The blue-gray filter overtop the film helps set the mood, and the way Samara climbs through the TV and just *TV statics* around is SO COOL, and she's like, spilling water everywhere...omg heckin' good.

The lore of Samara's ghost was really nice, it felt more flushed out. (The horse scene was crazy)

HOWEVER, a lot of the nuance and themes were either partially ignored or completely removed from the American film, and because of that, the remake feels so much more...empty.

The American version focuses more on the logistics and causes of the curse, rather than the existential dread that the original derives most of its horror from. Analog horror was usurped for more jump scares, and while still "scary," it's much less fun.

Removing the dead cousin's spirit from communicating with her son to watch the tape was pointless in my opinion. in The Ring, the son had watched the tape because he was bored, but in the original, he was visited by his cousin's ghost. I don't understand why they did that, considering they made the child a psychic in this version, and not the father. Having the son see the ghost would make more thematic sense in my opinion (but hey what do I know I'm not a director)

I also think having Samara's eyes visible as often as they were removed the overall intensity of her as a monster. In Ringu, you only see her eyes once, and because of that, it's so much more dramatic and intense, rather than in The Ring where they try to recreate that emotion, but because you had seen her eyes in the interrogation and in other scenes, it's less impactful.

This is not to say that the film itself is bad, stand-alone The Ring is really good and an interesting way to depict lingering dread. However because it is a direct adaptation to Ringu, it loses a lot of it's charm.

//I wanted to cry because I had my dad watch Ringu with me on Friday and he told me that The Ring is better. He's totally allowed to think that, but like, i disagree

[thefisherqueen]

Peter Cushings' Sherlock Holmes: The Boscombe Valley Mystery

I saw quite a few people mentioning Peter Cushings as their favorite on screen portrayal of Sherlock Holmes, so I decided to try if I could find some episodes. This BBC series was made in the '60's and only the second series actually starred Peter Cushings - the first series had Douglas Wilmer as Sherlock Holmes, but he declined to play Holmes in the second. Of the 16 episodes, sadly only 6 survive, and the Hound of Baskervilles makes up 2 of those (tapes were expensive and thus often recycled, and people at home at homes had no way to record). I'm watching The Boscombe Valley Mystery tonight.

The music theme is very intense, those strings are almost screaming. It at once gives this episode a different vibe than the homely Granada one

Full crotch shot of the son of the murdered man. It lasts four full seconds (I counted). Was that necessary? xD

Gods, I love the dressing robes of both Holmes and Watson. I have a teapot that looks almost the same as the one of their table! I took it home from the trash dump and managed to almost entirely restore it to its former glory. Not sure yet what I think about the actors' portrayal yet, but both are sure very pretty

The editing is a bit weird. Scenes jump from one to another rather abruptly

Not sure if it was just common during their time, but both actors seem so rushed to speak their lines

*another enters their train compartment* oh no, the boys are Upset

Ok, Peter Cushing is growing on me. His deduction scene in the train of Watson and of that poor other gentleman was quite funny

Some of the same shots are repeated, that feels a bit lazy

Is every girl in this episode going to cry? Repeatedly?

Holmes: "Watson What Arrrre You Doing? We have work to do!" loved that line :)

*Holmes takes off his coat* *Watson at once steps close* haha, I know it's just meant that Watson wanted to hold his coat for him but that sure looked suggestive

*Holmes shoving Watson into a tree for Investigation Purposes*

A lot of suspension in the music for a scene in which Holmes merely picking up a cigarette

*Holmes autistically rocking*

Watson: "We're going out again, Holmes? But what about dinner?" Holmes: "Dinner can wait" This is very book accurate. Poor Watson, I too get very upset when I don't get time to eat

Holmes: "Wait for me here" Watson, chugging his cider: "Willingly" Haha, love that

*Unnecessary long kissing scene*

Watson, scandalised: "Bigamy!" Holmes: "The world is not aways as you would have it, Watson" *slaps Watson's thighs* omg

It's a fine mystery story. The filming is a bit clumsy, but it feels quite authenticly victorian and Cushing portrays a dignified and clever detective with a quirk or two, and while Nigel Stock as Watson didn't have a much active role, I still enjoyed his acting. After watching the Granada series, however, this feels a bit bland for me. Decent, but nothing spectacular. I think I just miss the intensity and expressiveness and eccentric flair of Jeremy Brett, and David Burke and Edward Hardwicke also both poured so much of their heart into that series

[talenlee]

A Software Pirate Looks at 40

A Software Pirate Looks at 40

There’s this song.

A Pirate Looks At Forty

Watch this video on YouTube

This song, from 1975, was written by Jimmy Buffet, born in 1946. My whole life as much as I’ve remembered it, this song has had a deep reverence, a mournful seriousness to it. It got to be on the regular rotation in the car’s road-trip songs, despite it having that swear in it, and the references to drugs (that I did not understand, of course). We would sing along with the Jimmy Buffett tapes in the car, but when this song came on, we wouldn’t sing along, we’d just listen. There was something about it. There was something heavy to the words, something I didn’t quite understand.

When I hit my teenage years and started trying to make sense of everything, listening to the lyrics and reading the liner notes and trying to put every song into this like, structured and meaningful coherent whole where all the fictions that stories told were in fact part of some greater truth, I thought it was about Jimmy Buffett himself turning forty, and that crystallised something – it made sense. This was the anthem my father saw, sharing with Jimmy Buffett, when they were both facing turning 40, and that was when the song was made.

Jimmy Buffet was not forty when he wrote the song. He wasn’t even 30. He wasn’t forty until 1986, a year in which I was three. My father was 38, and two years later, he was 40. My dad has been on the far side of 40 most of my life. I never really saw someone facing turning 40 until members of my peer group did it. And, thing is… they’ve mostly been fine about it. Nobody I know has been making a point of their anxieties at getting older. There hasn’t been this anguished cry of ‘oh no I’m old,’ in fact most of my peer and friend group has been looking at their life getting through their 30s and shouting defiantly at the world thank god that’s done with.

Nobody I know makes being 40 bad. Most of them make it something great. I love you all, especially those of you repeating to our youngers: Don’t feel you wasted your 20s. You’re allowed to take your time working yourself out.

The Last Saskatchewan Pirate by Captain Tractor

Watch this video on YouTube

Maybe growing up with role models who were pirates was part of the place the rot started. My family after all were good upstanding Christians but I somehow grew up seeing laws as things to be gently circumvented where necessary and eventually entirely meaningless when they were never fairly deployed. I know that this song, The Last Saskatchewan Pirate, got me into a weird head space in my teen years of wanting to know about Canada and Canadian culture, a door that, once opened, I think, is where I met a lot of my best friends.

I remember this song being so… appealing to me, because of its oddness and silliness while still being a banger to sing. It wasn’t even an actual Captain Tractor song, though they wound up helping form that period of my teens into twenties, a sort of interesting bet-you’ve-never-heard-of-them musical icebreaker. Like a weaponised ship part. I have memories, in the time just after graduating from school, standing in the front yard of my parents’ house, spooling up a hose while singing this song to myself, and by myself, I mean the whole street.

I really wasn’t good at being a person.

But thing is, I got this song from mp3 dot com, which was like Kazaa and Limewire and Napster, but it didn’t go down. It was just bands asking you to take their songs. How cool was that? I couldn’t see how it would make money. The fact I wound up buying both of their albums at some point later, well, that may have played into it.

[Bulldog Mansion] (2002) Funk 15. Happy Birthday To Me

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I started a ritual of listening to this song after I heard it, first in the There She Is!! series of videos. I downloaded it from a bootleg site because I couldn’t even find the name of the band that made it, what with it being in all squidgy letters I didn’t know. Now it’s on Youtube. Now it’s easy to find.

I have files on my computer that are snippets of anime episodes from 30 years ago, that have managed to successfully cling to my digital presence this entire time, since I very first got onto the internet. I can namedrop people like Mike Rhea and Megazone and Richard Pelley and Anand Chelian and Blade and Epsilon and gilmae and µ and Guardian and there’s a time anchored to those things, things that the right people might head-snap around and go oh holy shit, I remember that… but not many people do.

Deep, old magics from a time when the internet was smaller, and where so much of what I was doing, I was doing for free, shared by people for the sake of sharing it, for the novelty of it. I learned to do Photoshop work on a pirated copy of Photoshop, and moved to GIMP when my partner wanted to, because she hated Photoshop (and I didn’t have a copy any more). I’ve been using GIMP for something like twenty years. It was free. A free version of something I’d have had to pirate that’s about as good, as the thing you have to pay for gets worse.

You can’t beat the pirates. Free is a hell of a price point. For a little more than free, I’d expect to get good, as well. You can’t even make a moral case any more. I’m technically pirating a copy of Word, because the version I paid for doesn’t do what I want, and I can’t buy the version I want to use any more because it’s too old. When I can’t even buy the thing you tell me you sell, because of where I live or your controls or price point incentives, all those things tell me the only correct course of action is to steal. And to steal from the people who have so much, and where the stealing cannot hurt people who matter.

How to be a Pirate Captain! 🌈 ☠️ 🌈

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As this post goes up, I have just turned forty.

I feel sad.

I do not feel old. That is part of it. I feel like at forty my dad had been a priest and a traveller and in the military and a chef and had lived a childhood of hijinks with his twin brother and his famous dad. I feel like I have spent the past two weeks learning how to finally, properly, do the dishes, and that I am still responding to a world around me that is here to punish me for not being good enough.

I feel a little bit hollow and a little bit wasted.

But I can at least delight in knowing that gleeful, joyous, shameless piracy is not a thing behind me.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Diary #BoatsToBuild

[filmophilea]

babysit,

for one muse to help the other home while they’re drunk, feat. @acekthe & @solstaice

there’s nothing but silence lulling the empty vehicle as ej climbs onto the driver’s seat, exhaling a white puff of smoke after one last drag. after tossing the worn out cigarette, he finally starts the engine running, glancing back to the trashed figure, in complete disbelief that right before his very own eyes is the same man that usually takes charge of their operations. so this is what it took for alexander the great to come undone, five tanks of ale and an three entire boxes of nicotine. not to mention the devastating news of his wife and daughter passing, but details are scarce and as far as ej knows, the pair was nothing but a heavy burden that alex carried.

at least according to toni, that is.  

but neither of them are parents to a child and nowhere close to being a spouse so what do they know? 

“you shouldn’t have drank so much!” toni scolds alex as she finally slips into the backseat right next to him, rolling her eyes while tugging harshly on the seatbelt. she struggles to secure it over his broad, slumped body but after a harsh tug and a loud grunt, she manages to do so. “how are we supposed to carry him up the stairs now?” 

who knew the day would come when the scolding would come in reverse, alex being dotted on like a child and toni taking charge? had the circumstances not been so dire, ej would have probably attempted to film it, something to keep in the memory bank and laugh on once the rough times has passed 

“i was just partaking in the general merriness,” alex’s slurred answer came in a hushed whisper and the scoff thaty toni makes is so loud that he can practically imagine the eye roll that probably came with it. 

“sit up properly,” she grunts beneath her breath, the resounding click of the seatbelt latching so audible that it prompts ej to turn the radio on. seeing as its alex’s vehicle, his spotify account instantly connects and a podcast regarding inflation predictions; count on him to be on top of that. “you’re so trashed, god.”

“i’m fine,” alex says a little too sharply and through the rear view mirror, he can see her looking away, her regal pose falling into place as she huffs out quietly. after a moment of silence, alex finally turns to her, head falling over her lithe shoulder, murmuring, “i’m sorry.” he apologizes softly. “i just… there’s just.. a lot to grasp in one day.”

she doesn’t say anything and neither does ej. alex rarely talks about his wife and kid and they’re not about to interrupt his willingness to open up emotions. but before any other word can slip free from his lips, ej hears a soft whimper until finally, a choke of sobs. 

alex is crying. 

“i know.” toni doesn’t turn to look at him, her softened gaze falling instead on the dancing figures of the trees aligning the darkened street. “just let it all out.” 

there’s a pang of pain in ej’s chest that he can’t explain and it gravitates when he sees alex reaching over to hold her head close to his chest. “stay with me.” 

ej can tell that she’s fighting the urge to rest her hand on his arm in a comforting gesture. he knows how much toni reminds him of his daughter, he knows how much he treats her like he’s one. he sees her tightly folding her hands on her lap, meeting ej’s eyes through the mirror. ej looks away, as if caught in looking at something he isn’t supposed to. she, too, averts her gaze to the floor, her cheeks flushing crimson. 

instead he keeps his focus on the road, in getting him home as soon as he can. like alex, ej connects with him int he sense of needing plenty of time for self reflection and he’s sure there’s nothing alex wants more than to be in the comfort of his own sheets. he needs the time to be alone to digest everything that’s occurred. but his mind rolls back to a moment in time when alex is showing him a photograph of his beautiful daughter, his words replaying in the back of his head like a winded up tape. a broken record. “i have a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. and that terrifies me to the point where i can barely function.”

[sunny6677]

THE AUDIO LOGS OF ANDREW HUDSON.

SUMMARY: The following are real audio tapes of tapes left by an animator at the forgotten studio Joey Drew Studios. Please ensure that you are ready to listen with these with caution, dear listener. What you may hear may cause you to never want to hear again. What you may picture may make you never want to see again. Please be aware of the consequences you may have if you do not have permission to listen to these tapes. If not permitted, then [REDACTED]. You have been warned.

(This is fiction btw, so no worries-- I know some people with anxiety issues might think this is real so this is just a clarification.)

TW FOR CHAPTER/TAPE: PANIC ATTACKS, REPETITION.

TW FOR SERIES: MANIPULATION, TRANSFORMATION, UNHEALTHY MINDSET, OBSESSIONS, CULTS, CULT MENTIONS, MURDER.

-------------------------------

TAPE #8

THE VOICE OF ANDREW HUDSON & WALLY FRANKS.

SOMETIME AFTER THE LAST TAPE.

----------------------------

[30 SECONDS OF SWEEPING SOUNDS GO BY.]

A: "Hey, Walls! How's it hangin'?"

W: "A— Ah! Oh— hey, pal.. I'm, uh, sweepin' right now, so if you could.."

A: "Jeez— you okay? Your eyes are watery as hell. Do you have allergies or some shit?"

W: "N— No, pal, I dont�� I don't think I do.. hey, how come you've been talkin' to me so much lately? If your an animator, I'd expect for ya to barely be able to see me at all."

A: "Eh, that's what happens when you have too much coffee I guess! If I down it enough, I can finish it all in one sitting!"

W: "That— That shouldn't even be possible.."

A: "Oh well, it is for me— say, ya looked kinda sad when I got back from my pee break last night, did somethin' happen?"

W: "Uh— ye— yeah! I'm fine, nothin' happened. No need to worry—" [WALLY SEEMINGLY SOUNDS NERVOUS HERE.]

A: "Really? Ya looked like someone just told you the worst news ever."

W: "Y— Yes, I'm fine! I'm okay! Maybe— maybe you should get back to your work—" [WALLYS VOICE SOUNDS AS IF ITS BREAKING.]

A: "W— Walls? Are— are ya.. cryin'?.."

W: "No, no.. no.." [WHAT SOUNDS TO BE WALLYS VOICE THEN BEGINS TO BREAK INTO SOBBING.]

A: "W— Walls!"

W: "Its goin' all wrong.."

A: "No, no, come— c'mere.."

[SHUFFLING NOISES.]

W: "Its goin' all wrong, it's goin'—"

A: "Whats goin' all wrong? Hey—"

W: "No— no, no, no, no.."

A: "Hey, hey, it's alright.. I'm gonna help you get through this, alright? Come on.."

W: "No, no, no—"

A: "Okay, now listen to me alright— I want you to follow what I tell ya, okay? Okay. Now, now— breathe in for me, alright?"

[WALLY INHALES.]

A: "Breathe out."

[WALLY EXHALES.]

A: "Good, good— breathe in."

[WALLY INHALES AGAIN.]

A: "Breathe out."

[WALLY EXHALES AGAIN.]

A: "Alright, good, buddy! Your doin' great! Breathe in.."

[WALLY INHALES ONCE MORE.]

A: "Breathe out."

[WALLY EXHALES ONCE MORE.]

A: "Okay, okay.. can i hug you?"

[2 SECONDS OF SILENCE.]

A: "Okay, good.."

[SHUFFLING SOUNDS.]

A: "Its okay to not be okay, Wally.. I'm here, you can cry all ya want, bud.."

[WALLY WHIMPERS, AND THEN BEGINS TO SOB. HIS CRIES BECOME MUFFLED, THOUGH THE PERSONNEL AT THE FOUNDATION ARE UNSURE WHY. FOR A GOOD 10 MINUTES, WALLY JUST CRIES. THEN, AFTER A WHILE, HE STOPS.]

A: "...do ya wanna talk now?"

W: "...no, I dont... I don't think I wanna talk about it."

A: "Okay, okay, that's alright.. ya don't have to talk about it if ya don't want to."

W: "I— I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make ya put up with this.."

A: "Hey, man, I'm not puttin' up with ya— I'm just bein' your friend, that's all! Here, until ya feel alright again, we can stay like this."

W: "...I don't understand why your so nice to me, pal.. i cant tell if your pitying me or.. or not.."

A: "Hey, I'm not pitying ya, your just a really cool guy! If anything, I don't understand why I don't ever see people talkin' to ya."

W: "...your so warm. I dont think i wanna leave yet.."

A: "Heh.. and that's fine with me. I can still sit with ya for a few more minutes."

W: "...okay. And— and then i'll... I guess i'll be outta here for today.. I don't think I can do my rounds like usual.."

A: "Heh, okay. That's fine too. Maybe i'll get outta here too, since I'm already done after all.."

W: "...okay."

------------------------

NOTES: NONE.

[valdederon]

FLAMES JOURNEY CHAPTER #6 valdederons pained past in the humans world.

( WARNING GRAFFIC DESCRIPTIONS OF GOREY SLAUGHTER WILL BE IN THIS CHAPTER IF YOU DO NOT LIEK DESCRIPTIONS OF DEATH AND CARNAGE LEAVE NOW !!!!! )

later that day after having vomited exausted from sobing the night before valdederon silently sneaks out to the training room grabing a couple oran berries a water skin and a bag of books before heading into the training hall sneaking through the make shift cation tape --( a mesh of plants with caution panted over it )-- and sits in a quiet corner of the room and begins reading despite a pounding migrane. eventualy loosing track of time trying to distract him self not having noticed kleo sneak in as silently as a predator as he grabs an oran berry and takes a drink of the watter ignoring the pain it causes fromw ater burns witch switfly get remadies by the oran berry.

kleo--- so thats were my water skin went..

valdederon yelps and drops the water skin spilling it all over the floor and his lap causing a light water burn forcing him to whimper.

kleo---why are you drinking water it causes fire types to get water burns.. and were going to talk today.

valdederon--. its a human habit.. i like water.i dont care that it burns.. what ive been through in the past . water burns are a cake walk. they arent a concern to me at all.

kleo---is it why your always burning stuff with your nightmares

valdederon blushes and turns his head away trying to decide weather he should reveal his dark human past to the kind people who took him in when he was lost in this new world. wondering if theyd see him as beyond redeeming for his past actions.

kleo watches valdederon tense up and lower his ears with almost a warning growl.

kleo sighing--- fine.. take your time hun ill be back later to check on you and bring over your school work so we can work on it together i can see you dont have the energy for class rightnow.

she slithers out with out a sound even while crossing over crumbled ash burnt wood and other debris from the wrecked training room. after shes out valdederon again begins to sob flash backs flooding into his mind him 8 years old his little sister only 4 and a half. his mother and father town guardsmen when the peaceful silence is shattered by screaming fire raining from the skies monster running through the streets.. blood splatering in evry direction as monsters rampage and a lone demon aporaches valdederon him charging with a knife only to be back handed into a walkk his sister crying as the sound of bones snapping fade into adrowning sorrowful silence, the demon only speaking a few words that untill now were blocked from his mind.

demon-- youl be an example to all man kind we dont need peace we will take what we want and slaughter all in our way.

the flashback fades to a court mage stumbling on the aftermath 2 whole days having passed the air thick with smoke and rot a lone child clutching a small blood smeared doll.. a gift for his sisters 4th birthday.. all that survived. eventualy the flash back transitions into rage and hatred as a no 26 year old valdederon throws magic evry direction demons all over desperately trying to fend off a brutal onslaught of anger and hate fueled directling into magic attacks some calling valdederon the reaper of death others begging for mercy only to take a fire ball to the chest or lighting down thier back. untill lastly after 5/8ths of the demon population had fallen the rougue demon general dies having had his mind attacked for over 7 years untill it shattered and became a shell. then a royal officer reads a decree of cease fire to the anger of valdederon.

when he looks up he sees neegan trying desperately to call his name.

neegan--- you flame brain you there… valdederon neonis to val…. jeeze … been trying to talk to you for over 2 hours.. what the hell is going on. we just had a match here yesterday and its a .

valdederon weakly cuts him off

valdederon---doesnt matter please just leave me..i dont want to talk to any one right now leave.. now

neegan--- hell no your going to tell me whats going on in that hell fire for a brain of yours.. i fought you long enough to know you had some crap locked up and its clear somthing is tearing you up inside.. the fact i couldnt get your attention for 2 dam hours is not good.

valdederon gievs a soft but weak growl embers sputtering from between his teeth witch neegan knows that to be a back off warning. so he heads out to go bring some more berries and other snacks for him.after another 30 minutes pass valdederon looks at his paws with a whimper almost convinced if he tells the truth he will be shuned and hated and he begins to cry even more having begun to like his new life a milion thoughts racing through his mind and then bolts out of the training room to try and run away from the guild only to trip and fall down a large set of stairs breaking his legs and dislocating his right arm all of witch evergreen the guild medic, witnessed quietly he lifts valdederon and carries the knocked out braixen to the medical wing asking julie to head on up to get kleo as taiga is out visiting another guild for important matters.

kleo--- whats wrong evergreen what happened

valdederon---val fell down the stairs sobbing im verry concerned ..he almost seems terrified now.. hes not..he didnt even see or hear me calling out to be careful.. its like he was not even observing anything.

kleo--- i did tell him we were going to talk about why he keeps having nightmares

neegan walks in having heard about the accident and he leans against the door.

neegan-- hes probably scared to reveal his past i tried asking about it but.. he just gave ma a warning growl.. i think maybey hes afraid to reveal anything .. but i dont know why or what.

[northisnotup]

"Oi," Zoro had a sharp sense of satisfaction from making the blond lingering around the punch bowl jump. It'd been a nice wedding so far, from the little he paid attention. Between Luffy forgetting his head, the caterer being a right prick and running this way and that for anyone who called, Zoro hadn't seen much of it. But it'd still be a shame if some creep ruined the punch.

Zoro had been to enough weddings where some freak estranged family member or jilted ex crashed in order to do something weird, disgusting or sad and ruin the day. He was hoping to get through this one without any of that because despite the stick up the caterer's ass (Who had a chef cook for the whole wedding? Who did that?) the rest had been...fine.

Luffy whined about the vows being short, he'd been hoping for some 'fun' candid shots of the bride and groom crying, snotting, looking sickeningly in-love...something in short supply at this particular wedding. Usually, this was where Zoro would have made the argument that maybe the couple were just practical people - but the reception was over the top enough to quash that thought near immediately. Both families made long, overwrought speeches before any food was set out, and the first dance had been some classical thing with choreographed steps, another thing Luffy complained about, loudly, while taking shots up his own nose.

Zoro'd been eating leftovers with the rest of the staff, so he'd take Luffy's word for it.

All in all, there had been worse weddings, but this one took the cake in terms of bland necessity. Which was probably why he got such a kick out of startling the guy so much.

"Keep it down!" The guy snapped, fumbling with the punch spoon. He seemed very focused on dragging the spoon against the bottom of the very deep bowl and then slowly drawing it up the side.

"What's it to you?" Zoro crossed his arms over his chest, flexing them before he realized the guy had no intention of looking up from his weird punch trick, and then felt stupid. To cover he said, "Are you even meant to be here? Got an invitation?"

"Last I checked this wedding didn't have security!" The guy hissed. "So fuck off, go buy a fucking donut you discount rent-a-cop. Paul Blart could police this place better than you."

Oh so that's how its gonna be.

"That's funny, man. I haven't laughed that hard since your mom made me a mix tape. Fuck she only put three artists on it - the Whalers, The Thrashers and the Wet Spots."

There was a moment of weighed silence. Zoro had never had to fight any of the weirdos he met at weddings before but there was a first for everything.

"Holy shit - did you dig up my mum you sick freak?" The guy wheezed, sounding like he was actually trying pretty hard not to laugh.

"Look, I had to. Someone told me she'd seen my mom in heaven and-"

Barking out a laugh, the guy dropped the ladle to cover his mouth, broad shoulder's shaking silently. "Fucking hell." He turned, and Zoro almost bit his tongue. Finally getting a good look at the guy, he fought the urge to whistle. Handsome. Longer hair than was fashionable but he wore it well, loose and brushing a square jaw. The guy didn't just fill out a suit well, he looked good.

Thus far, Zoro had resisted making moves on any of the hot guests at the weddings they'd attended. First because they didn't need the drama that came with fucking around at a wedding, and then because all the weddings and guests started to blur together after a while. But Luffy liked shooting weddings, and Usopp was a bleeding heart about love and Nami liked a great deal. Weddings were a cash grab and she got to steal all the best ideas for her own wedding in a year or so. Win win win, so Zoro nut up and shut up.

"Sanji," he held out a hand, though Zoro noted the other was still white-knuckling the drink container.

"Zoro," he nodded back, absently noting the soft skin, firm grip and mean calluses. Strong. Nice. "I just came to -" He moved to nudge the guy aside, now that niceties were out of the way, and frowned when Sanji held his ground, starting to look shifty again.

"Look, if you're gonna fuck with the punch, I'm gonna have to report you to the head chef," Zoro drawled, hoping that was enough of a threat. The head chef was damn good at his job and a mean motherfucker to boot. He'd spent the whole day hands on the food, snarling at anyone who approached. The only time he left the kitchen at all was to watch the ceremony from the sidelines, frowning all the while.

"Shit, shut your - " The ladle clattered and the bowl twisted off its weird ice-bath pedestal thing as Sanji turned to sneer, almost falling and likely to take them both with it. Thinking quickly, Zoro stepped forward, catching it with one hand on the chilled side. Fuck that was heavy.

"Awfully friendly with someone you were accusing of weird shit," Sanji grumbled.

Ah. They were close enough now Zoro could count the blond's eyelashes. His other hand, the one not taking the weight of the stupid heavy punch bowl, was splayed across Sanji's low back. Pinning him in place so he didn't go sprawling. "You're not doing weird shit?" He made sure the stupid vat was back in place before he stepped back. "And you didn't jump when I mentioned - "

"Shut the fuck your mouth, that man has ears like a fucking hawk."

"Isn't it eyes like a hawk?"

"How would you know?"

What an asshole. Zoro grinned. "Maybe I lost an eye in a freak hawking accident."

"Did you?"

"No."

"Yeah, somehow I thought not. We didn't even get doves for this thing, why the fuck would we get a hawker."

"We?" There was a sinking feeling in Zoro's gut, which only magnified when Sanji honest to some God, somewhere, blushed.

"You work here but you don't recognize the groom?" Sanji laughed. Fuck. It was too Sanji - Nami had made so many very mean jokes about the seating arrangements and names of the groom's family.

Well, hell. "Dealing with you people isn't my job," Zoro blustered. He wanted to take another step back, get some space between them, but damn it all, he was still thirsty.

"What is your job?"

"Saving idiots from the punch bowls, I guess," Zoro shrugged. "What are you doing, anyway?"

Sanji shifted in place, guilty, and glanced quick over Zoro's shoulder. Zoro had the brief, terrible want of wanting to feel the man squirm against him. The short wish that he'd kept the guy pinned against the god forsaken pink drink.

Now who was the creep.

"I...lost something."

It took Zoro two seconds longer than it should and he closed his eye to pray to a God he didn't believe in for patience. "You didn't."

"I did, actually," Sanji said, unhelpfully.

Just to be sure - "Your fucking wedding ring is in the punch."

Nail in the coffin. "Sunk to the bottom."

Which meant it was somewhere in the mess of juice, sparking water, liqour, fruit slices and flower petals. Probably hiding, out of spite, like Zoro now wished he was. "Fuck."

Sanji nodded companionably.

"And if you go back without it?" With the couples Zoro knew, it would be a funny story. Something to tell at anniversaries or to the kids someday.

Somehow, Zoro got the feeling this was not the crowd for that.

"I may as well take a long walk of a short pier."

There it was. Curling his lip, Zoro fought against saying any of the things that crossed his mind. He'd kept mum through cheating soon-to-be spouses, idiots with 8-balls and xanax crushed into champagne. But there was something about this wedding, something about the matter of fact wording that just rang a bell - like someone just took a shot at his bullshit meter and hit the grand prize.

And... and it was, at the end of the day, none of his fucking business. Nodding back, Zoro began rolling up his sleeves. "Cover me."

"Wh.." Sanji stared at Zoro's bare forearms for a second too long before he put it together. "No!"

"You got a better plan, curls? Cause from where I'm sitting it's this or go back to hoping your ring decides to float!"

"You'll infect it!"

Zoro wasn't sure what kind of a face he made, but it was enough to have Sanji stomp his foot and wave an annoyed hand at his whole person. "You've got mould growing out of the top of your head, who knows what else you might have -"

Oi! "Better than whatever the fuck is going on with your eyebrows, curly-que."

Sanji stepped to him, not backing down even a bit. "You watch your fucking -"

"My fucking what? Zoro sneered. Just this edge of mean. He was trying to keep a tight rein on how much fun he was having "It'll be fine, no one's even touching the punch, it's an open bar -"

"It's a waste!"

Oh - that touched on something real. Zoro steadied himself, eyeing the stubborn jut of Sanji's chin and way his balled up hands shook. That wasn't just new-groom jitters, or embarrassment over the ring, or the back and forth of their banter. That was something deep and real.

"Hey," Throwing aside whatever shit was going on with himself, he stepped up, squaring his shoulders. "Look at me. I will not let it go to waste."

Sanji shook his head, looking in Zoro's eye but not believing him, not yet. He had blue eyes, probably pretty, when they weren't panicked over something that hit too hard. "What are you going to do, drink a gallon of punch by yourself?"

"Yeah, probably," Zoro laughed, and saw Sanji draw up short at his sudden levity. "Crazy chef is letting us take any leftovers home." 'Letting' was a nice way of saying it. Threatening them about it was more accurate. "I'll put in first dibs on this."

"...Swear," Sanji said. They were breathing the same air, and Zoro thought it was stupid how even his flaring nostrils were kind of cute.

"Every damn day."

"Fuck you."

"You're married." Mores the pity. It slid out like an insult, like a dare and Zoro watched it hit like a Mac truck. Sanji flinched. Looked away. Like when he admitted to losing the ring. Like he was guilty of being married.

"I swear."

"Okay." Sanji nodded, and then whipped his suit jacket off to wield like a matador, slipping a cigarette in his mouth and holding the jacket up to the light, like he was inspecting it for burns.

Nice.

Zoro, on the other hand, got to work, sinking his arm into the tacky punch, down through the slimy fruit and into the mess of flower petals at the bottom. Okay - slow and steady. No one had come anywhere near them this whole time, they were probably fine.

"There's my darling man!" A sweet, simpering voice broke in, and Zoro almost threw the bowl to the ground.

"Ah! Pudding, my dearest. There's my beautiful wife." Sanji crooned. Zoro thought he could hear panic edge the words, but he didn't know the guy that well. He didn't know either of them that well. Maybe the petnames were normal, to them.

The last time Zoro had heard pet name like that, they were the last desperate, dying gasp of a messy relationship. A very messy relationship. The wedding didn't happen, which was probably for the best.

Top quadrent searched.

"Your father -"

"Ah - lovely, if you could..."

"Sorry, my prince! I meant, Judge was wondering where you'd wandered off to and I thought it would be better if I came to look for you."

Daddy issuesn huh? Well shit, that was something Nami could have used while negotiating their fee.

"Of course, my angel. I just needed some air...bad habits, you know."

"Oh! I... you smoke?"

Why did she sound surprised? Zoro smelled the tabacco and ash on Sanji the second they got close. It wasn't hard to pick out, even under the cologne.

"I can quit. My old man's always on me for taking too many smoke breaks, anyway." Sanji laughed, awkward.

And it was awkward.

Thankfully, at that moment, Zoro felt something cool and smooth under his fingertips. Slowly as he could he drew it up, and turned to face the blushing bride, still half covered by Sanji's back.

She was beautiful, that much even Zoro could admit, in a dress that looked like a wedding cake in it's own right and roses in her reddish hair. Nami smacked him any time he tried to guess women's ages which meant he probably wasn't any good at it, and that wasn't even taking into account make up and that crap. Still, she looked younger. Not too young, but young enough Zoro would have ID'd her if he was working bar.

It was probably the make up.

"Oh, hello!"

Right.

Zoro could have done the smart thing and put the ring in the cup of Sanji's hand. Let him look like he was fidgeting with it, or something. That's what he should have done, he realized months later looking at the ring on Sanji's hand and reliving the sense memory -

Instead, he had a second to see Sanji's fingers wiggling behind his back, saying 'get a move on!' and stepped up close so he could slip the ring on Sanji's finger himself.

But it was done, and he was nodding to the bride, who was introducing herself, Pudding, yes that is my real name, blame my mother, she's at the head table ha-ha. Accepting her gracious compliments on Usopp's arrangments and Nami's scheduling, and her backhanded complaints about Luffy's...everything, which Zoro could only shrug at.

"He's the best."

"So I hear!" Pudding tittered, only a little forced. "Well, I should let you get back...Honey-dear?"

"One last smoke, princess, and I promise." Sanji smiled.

It wasn't the same smile he'd given Zoro.

Not fake, or wincing. Not regretful. But practised. It was a camera smile, the reason Luffy only took candids and made Usopp or Chopper do the arranged pictures.

"Well."

Zoro grunted.

"Nice to meet you, lets never do that again."

"Let's never meet again," Zoro returned, and Sanji laughed. It wasn't the ugly bark from earlier, but it was looser.

"If I ever see your ugly mug again,"

"Go blind, it's easier."

"You'd know." Sanji snickered. He knocked their shoulders together, hard and didn't say thank you before he went to go.

"Wait - " Zoro didn't know why he said that, except. It was a nice suit, and Sanji looked good in it, and it was his fucking wedding day. Shaking one of his sleeves out, he stepped close again. They'd been close before, chest-to-chest and almost cheek-to-cheek at one point, but this was different. Zoro touched as lightly as he knew how, dabbing his sleeve covered thumb under Sanji's nose, dabbing away the blood beading there. "Don't ruin your suit, you won't get your deposit back, pimple popper."

"Fuck you," Sanji said, faint. He mumbled something, probably an insult but maybe a thanks, and was gone.

Leaving Zoro with a messy sleeve, a thundering heart, and a gallon of punch to call his own.

What a fucking wedding.

Imagine Me & You (2005) as a zosan fic... would be so good, actually.