#me when i said i'm a survivor

[sleestakkkk]

wow i feel really ill that's crazy i wonder why (thinking)

[trans-leek-cookie]

so kusakabe and higuruma Megumi and fucking MEI MEI can survive but Mechamaru Nanako Mimiko and Mai had 2 die. Alright.

[tittyinfinity]

My mother confuses the fuck out of me

[elytrafemme]

my best friend (no. 4, i'll start assigning emojis soon for lore followers) asked me about BPD and i told them i'd talk more about it in person because BPD is the exact overlap of my own lived experience (note: i am not diagnosed but have extensive history with BPD in a secret more confusing way) and my psychological interest. but like now i'm thinking about it and generally speaking i think anything that was a symptom towards BPD i experienced has either grown more mild now that i'm out of an active trauma situation, OR has just become part of what i consider my amorphous CPTSD thing,

but i do like. think about the efforts to avoid perceived/real abandonment. and maybe i've not gone to the lengths some folks might with this but to be honest the more i think back to my own personal history the more i realize that i do in fact repeatedly do insane shit to avoid abandonment 😭

[tenok]

.

[boy-above]

if anyone sees this who also endured emotional incest as a child i hope you have a great day and that you're healing. please remember that you're right to be traumatized even if your mind might tell you to minimize the problem because it "could have been worse"

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A drawing of the Survivor from Rain World. They're spiralling upwards into the air, clutching a grappling worm with limbs askew, above the lizard den halfway up The Wall. They're facing forward, and while their expression is neutral as always, they seem rather eager. The drawing has a light red tone, primarily made up of siennas, whites and dull teals, and has a fairly dramatic sense of scale. End ID]

call that a jetpack joyride (< got attached to their grapple worm and named it jetpack)

[coockie8]

do you ever think about unblocking the person who made the callout about you?

Sometimes, yeah, but then I remember I'm above willingly opening myself up to a brain cell-killing argument with a troglodyte who thinks what a person engages with in fiction indicates in any way, shape, or form what a person's real-world morals are.

[cavehags]

uhhhh hmmmmm wellllll the power better introduce a trans character soon or so help me

[ofmd-archive]

my heart genuinely goes out to every black woman and woman adjacent black person who's hurt by episode 7 like i was by zheng being screwed over*. white dude dumly outsmarting zheng is hurting me because she's the sole character that looks remotely like me. Seeing spanish jackie's bar exploded and that it implies she was foolish enough to accept a fucking grandfather clock from someone she cut the nose off of can't be the best feeling.

Idc if the next episode "fixes" things. The statement has been made and the betrayal has been commited. Things can be mended but it sucks cus for once i let my guard down. I god forbid felt safe. I guess that teaches me a lesson.

"But that was just it - hate was exactly the right word. Hate is a force of attraction. Hate is just love with its back turned." -Terry pratchett

That is where i'm left with this show at this current time. No i will not be taking constructive criticism from white people on this. Only voicing this so that anyone reading and is currently feeling isolated, doesn't feel alone. Cus i don't think many people will point this out.

And i swear to fucking god if any of you white saviour fucks try to twist my pain here into justifying sending hate to the writers or actors then you will get the most biting letter i am able to compose from me. Don't you fucking dare take my pain and try to use it just to get your hateful rocks off.

[ceramictank]

Artificer mains will make their whole personality about hating scavs, you guys will never understand love

[armentas]

holy shit. delora doesn't exist within the haven universe anymore, but i absolutely need to have someone use the old dialogue i had planned for her.

delora, comforting heather: if you think about it, we exist in the first place because people care for each other. we exist because people loved each other as far back as adam and eve, and cain and abel.

heather: i think you're thinking of the wrong story. cain killed abel.

delora: i think you can love someone, and still kill them.

HELLO????

[irawhiti]

i'm sorry about people being insensitive, it hurts a lot when i see people making "edgy" jokes about traumatizing things they assume are fair game for jokes because they think it's too crazy to ACTUALLY happen to someone

yeah honestly it's like... i'm genuinely glad that people don't have trauma around organised crime and shit but it's an extremely common horrific experience. the only reason more people don't talk about it is they're scared to. like i don't say more about shit for a reason regardless of if it was my choice. like, people assume it's so far out there that people might be traumatised by these things, they're this theoretical Other. i see it a lot with brba content for example which, with all due respect, i literally cannot fucking watch if i don't wanna be a nervous wreck for a month.

[thedreadvampy]

I mean sure, I can understand this perspective, but I'm not sure whether most people feel less shaken to be thrust into conversations about "self-unaliving" than conversations about "suicide"

and I for one as a survivor would much rather unexpectedly encounter somebody talking about "rape" than somebody talking about how funny it is to have sex with somebody when they don't want to, a normal thing that doesn't need to be named because it's So Normal.

which is to say. this is a post about words. the words are not the distressing thing about the discussion. the distressing thing is the distressing thing about the discussion. sugarcoating, dodging or renaming the distressing thing doesn't make it less distressing but it DOES often make it harder to have a frank discussion about it or address it in serious terms.

[pinch of salt: solid probability from their blog that this person is a Literal 14 Year Old and the perspective from 30 and 14 are very different. I do stand by all the points I'm making but I think this conversation lands a lot different for people at different life stages - there is something to be said for the general issue that the internet has flattened social groups to the degree that I as a 30 year old can make a post to my audience of largely adult millennials that immediately enters the same conversational space as people half my age and still in school. that seems. ungreat. as the primary way we engage in conversation. but I don't have solutions to offer.]

you gotta be able to say "die"

you gotta be able to say "suicide"

you gotta be able to talk about "sex"

they're uncomfortable topics, YEAH for SURE

because LIFE is uncomfortable. Death and suicide and sex and pain are straight up going to happen. not having words for the way it discomforts you doesn't make it more comfortable, it just makes you less able to reach out about it.

even more vital, you gotta be able to say words like "rape", "abuse", "queer" or "racist". cause we fought fucking hard to name those experiences. to identify "rape" as distinct from "sex" and "racism" as distinct from "acceptable behaviour" and "queer" as distinct from "invert"

like the function of communication is not to minimise immediate discomfort. we gotta be able to talk about stuff that's hard or sucks or causes difficult conversations.

[moisette]

I wish I knew what my MMR was on Survivor... I die a lot so I figure it's low but sometimes I get really good teammates that are clearly better than I am at playing Survivor. So how do I get matched with them? I've noticed Killers don't seem to mindgame too much so I think we're about the same MMR - pretty low.

I've been confused about my MMR on Killer too. I try not to kill people as Trickster because I have more fun letting them escape but I do kill pretty often as Spirit and Sadako. I can have like 3 competent SWFs in a row that I 3k then nothing but baby Survivors the rest of the week. Why? If I kill a lot, my MMR should go up, right? Why is it stagnant? Is it because I usually spare people as Trickster? I have been killing people more often with him, though...

Sometimes I think MMR is a myth. It is at least very unstable imo.

[wahbegan]

This world of video essays with SA this and SA that makes me genuinely miss the old days when edgelords would say rape every five seconds