#me too but in a good way Callie makes me swoon

[1d1195]

💕 you're the best Monica!!!

Pucking Rookie VI

Read Pucking Rookie here | ~8.5k words

From me: last part for now 💕 thank you for all the support on this 😍

Warnings: violence Kael, some injuries, anger, some fluff and reassurance.

Summary: She is trying her hardest to keep Harry out; but would it be that bad to let him in?

Has Harry mentioned how much he hates Kael Crowe?

Harry had his hands in his pockets while they skated alongside each other. With gloves on her hands, she held them out slightly at her sides for balance. From someone looking at her, she probably still looked like a toddler when she skated. But she didn’t need Harry to skate backward in front of her anymore, which was a win in her book.

The chill in the air made her nose red and she looked so cute. She was all bundled, nice and warm. Harry wanted to find mistletoe even though it was well past Christmas. Granted, he would have done just about anything to kiss her. She bit her lip when she concentrated, especially while skating. The same expression when she focused on the eye piece of her camera making sure the picture would turn out perfectly. Harry swore his smile was going to split his face in half just looking at her.

Unlike her, Harry looked so at ease. She loved seeing him on his used skates, the ones that he clearly had for years and weren’t for the show of his games and because of his sponsors. He looked so tranquil and happy. The ice was his happy place. It almost seemed more natural for him to be on skates than it did on solid ground.

Also unlike Harry, she was not smiling. Especially not smiling like the joy was going to burst out of him like a princess singing a song.

“Y’look more comfortable on y’skates.”

“Mm,” she shrugged. “It’s getting easier.”

Harry noted that she had seemed a bit more introverted the last couple of days—a little more withdrawn. Something was clearly bothering her, and he couldn’t quite place it himself. Callie flirting with her didn’t even faze her (although it certainly fazed Harry). When she directed the guys to pose, her smile didn’t reach her eyes. She didn’t joke about Asher’s good side (or lack thereof, in Harry’s opinion—especially when Asher insisted that she tell him he had a good side). At The Locker Room she didn’t laugh as much, and she didn’t invite Harry inside when he made sure she got home safely. “Rookie, is something wrong?”

“No.”

But she answered way too quickly. Immediately, Harry did an about face, turned to skate in front of her, gliding backwards so effortlessly. One eyebrow quirked up in question. “Talk t’me, Rookie,” he encouraged.

She took a deep breath. “We’re going to play The Wolves,” she reminded him. Harry had seen the schedule; he knew the game was coming up.

What did that have to do with anything? “Yeah,” he nodded. “So?”

She stopped skating, executing her little stop perfectly. Harry was so proud of her abilities and how much better she had gotten with practice over the last couple of months. Still, she looked upset. She rolled her lips into her mouth as she worked through whatever was going through her brain. “I don’t want you to get into it with Kael.”

Harry shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Is that what you’re worried ‘bout? Why you’ve been so quiet the last few days?” She shrugged and looked away from his face. “Rookie, do y’think distancing yourself from me for a couple of shitty days is going t’make me less likely t’fight that sorry excuse for a man?” She glanced at him briefly, her cheeks turning pink under his assumption. His very correct assumption. “Bunny,” he frowned.

She sighed heavily. “It’s just... you’ll get in trouble, and I don’t want that, and I don’t want you to get hurt. I can barely handle it when you get checked into the boards. I’m always worried you have a concussion,” she grumbled.

Harry felt a tug in his chest over her sweet words. “You like me, Rookie," he wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.

She glared at him. “Shut up, I do not.”

“You care about me.”

“I care about you the same way I care about Niall or..." he was praying she wouldn't say it. But she was feisty--one of Harry's favoirte things about her; so of course she was going to say it. "...Kian.”

He scoffed and narrowed his eyes at her. The flirtatious smile left his mouth. “S’not the same way y’care ‘bout Callie, Rookie. Not even a little.”

“You’re so ridiculous about Kian, Harry.”

“Stop calling him that. And quit distracting me,” he grumbled. Taking a deep breath he shook his head of thoughts regarding his least favorite teammate (which was a real shame because other than Niall, Harry loved Callie). Sighing, he smirked again as he watched her avoid his eyes. “You like me, Bunny.”

Her cheeks turned pink. “Of course I like you Harry,” she rolled her eyes as she mumbled the sentiment.

“Yeah, but you like-like me.”

“Are you six?”

He ignored her fake insult and leaned in to peck her cheek. “I like-like you too,” he whispered in her ear.

She shoved him gently, but her cheeks remained flushed with color. “You’re insane.”

He took her hand and tugged her toward him to continue skating. “I don’t care ‘bout Crowe,” he said quietly. “I don’t want y’worrying ‘bout me over him. The last time we saw him... hopefully that got the message across,” he squeezed her hand. It was nice to pull her along now that she could skate better. He liked holding her hand. Touching her in general was one of his favorite past times. “M’worried ‘bout you seeing him again.”

“Well, I’m going to wear my number eleven jersey,” she smiled brightly at the thought. Harry thought he had won MVP, the championship game, all rolled into one. “So maybe you’re right. Maybe he’ll get the message.”

The face-splitting grin was back. “Yeah?” He spun again so he was in front of her, this time he pulled her flush against him. It would be so easy to lean in and kiss her. “Didn’t think y’would be one t’make someone intentionally jealous.”

She shrugged. “If you don’t want to be part of my plan, I could always wear Niall’s jersey, or Lang’s, or even Cal—”

“Do not finish that thought, Rookie,” he growled and pressed her face into his body where she laughed silently against him, shaking as she giggled. “You’re mine.”

*

The arena where The Glacier Wolves played truly felt like enemy territory. There was something palpable in the air; you could practically taste the venom coming from both teams. The last time they played, the whole team was pissed at Kael. She tried to keep her distance, but she felt the stares of the guys coming from every angle. Harry’s name and number were all over her body. She kept to herself staying by the media and press at the other end of the rink so that she wouldn’t distract the team.

“Is she good?” Charlie asked Harry.

Harry glanced toward the other end, finding her immediately in black and silver. “Think so,” he shrugged hoping it wouldn't be too obvious he was in love with his coach's niece.

“Styles,” Charlie’s voice was deeper somehow, filled with intensity. Harry looked at his coach. Instantly he swallowed nervously, seeing the seriousness on his face that clearly had nothing to do with hockey.

“Coach?”

“You’re going to take care of her?”

“With my life, sir,” Harry vowed.

Charlie ran a hand over his face and then through his hair as he pushed it back. Harry could see the anxiety all over his face. “You hurt one hair on her head, I’ll bench you for the rest of your career.”

Harry smirked and nodded. That wouldn't be a problem. Harry would welcome it. Plus, he appreciated the approval. “That seems fair t’me.”

“If you hit Crowe a little too hard today, I’ll look the other way. Or chip in on the fine.”

Harry smiled brightly. “You got it, Coach.”

*

Kael found Harry on the ice almost as soon as the game started. Both started essentially in the same position as the puck was dropped between Asher and Kael’s teammate. It was the matchup of the league. Every news outlet was talking about it leading up to the game. Two of the biggest names in hockey. Old rivals playing against one another just like old times. The shit-talking that ensued made him crazy but he tried to keep his cool for her.

Each time he was checked into the boards, he remembered her sweet face saying she worried about him. Harry didn’t want a single penalty (well, that wasn’t true. He wanted to knock every single one of Crowe’s teeth out). Instead, he caught a glimpse of her at the glass the camera lens pressed through the cutout for the media. His jersey with his name and number all over her.

He wasn’t going to fight Crowe.

Fortunately, Harry’s team was having a hell of a time doing it on his behalf. Collectively there had been almost one full period worth of penalties. Callie cheered from the penalty box when Asher laid Crowe into the boards. Their level-headed captain even got sent to the box for two minutes with a smile on his face. Niall didn’t let a single one of Crowe’s shots get past him. And maybe Niall tripped him up when he got too close to the net.

As such, the Chargers played short-handed almost the entire second period, yet they were still winning at the second intermission.

It didn’t stop Crowe from his onslaught of shit-talking despite being down. He told Harry how terrible he was, how shitty his stick handling was, and that he kept missing obvious shots. All his comments seemed to be a projection of how terrible he was playing and perhaps it was because the pretty photographer wearing Harry’s jersey added it to the mind games in Kael's head.

Maybe Harry would have to rethink the whole jealousy ploy she had going on. It was a nice touch (especially when he wasn’t subject to the feeling).

Harry smirked as he stood across from Crowe while they dropped the puck. Almost immediately Crowe slashed at him. Earning zero penalties and no looks from the ref. Harry growled but remained calm. He was only keeping calm for her and only her. Otherwise, he would have added himself to the penalty box. It would mean more to Crowe than it did to Harry if he lashed out about the pretty photographer.

There was only a minute left in the game and Crowe’s team was down by two, so it was sure as hell a win in the Chargers book. But Harry wasn’t celebrating until the piece of shit was off the ice.

With no one in the Wolves’ net, Harry stole the puck away from Kael and slapped it directly into the back of the net. He grinned brightly as his team cheered and tackled him, pressing him into the glass right near the pretty girl who had the camera pressed to her face. He winked at her amidst the madness and Harry couldn’t help but notice how big her smile—not even the camera obstructed how joyful she looked.

As the buzzer signaled the end of the game, Harry and his team skated for their bench. They were happy to win, but they were all thrilled to get off the enemy’s ice.

“Enjoy my sloppy seconds Styles.”

Harry could take the comments about his effort, his ability, his looks, anything.

But he would not, under any circumstance, take criticism about the lovely girl at the other end of the ice.

Harry skated right in front of Crowe standing almost the same height as him, marveling happily at how he was a couple inches taller than his opponent. “What the fuck did you say, Crowe?”

“Harry!” Niall shouted skating back onto the ice almost instantly. Camera flashes from every angle ensued.

“Styles!” Ray shouted from nearby.

“It’s not just talent and ability you want from me, you have to take my girl?”

“She’s not yours, you piece of shit,” Harry was gripping his stick tight, talking through gritted teeth.

“Harry!” She screamed—her voice was far away but Harry could pick it out of a sea of people.

“You couldn’t find your own girl, had to take mine. Don’t worry, I stretched her out for you. She’s a good lay—” Harry dropped his stick and gloves with a quiet thunk on the ice. By then his teammates made it to him, Callie and Asher lunged for him holding him back.

“Crowe, walk the fuck away!” Asher snapped. Harry pushed against him as he got in the fray; he could only imagine what the announcers were saying as they watched two of the top players in the league get dangerously close to fighting after the game had ended.

“Charlie!” She shouted, her voice was closer but not close enough.

“Harry don’t do it,” Callie begged. “Walk away," he tried to plead calmly. "Go get her and you can take her—”

“That’s right listen to every one of your teammates and that naggy bitc—”

Right as he clenched his hands into fists, he felt her soft, delicate fingers wrapping around his hands. She was on the ice. Unsteady and standing in front of him in just her boots. “Hey, look at me,” she begged her eyes a bit wild.

“Bunny—” He started his teeth clenched together. "Get out--"

“Cute, well you got one thing right, Styles. She’s a dumb little puck bunny.”

She shoved Harry as much as she could while he tried to get away from her gentle touch. “Sweetheart,” Asher warned.

Crowe laughed. “You sleeping with the whole team, baby? One whole team to replace me?”

She spun on her heel, nearly sliding to the ground, but Harry caught her by the elbow because he was certain his first priority would always be to take care of her no matter what. “Your problem is with me, Kael,” she snapped. “So, if you’re going to pick fights, pick it with the person you have an actual problem with, you coward.”

“I’m not the one calling you a puck bunny, baby. They are. You must like it if they all call you one,” he teased with a shrug. He knew she didn’t. She said it all the time while they dated. “That’s what you get for riding dick like it’s your job, Bunny,” his tone was antagonizing. Who was he trying to get a rise out of? Was it Harry? It couldn’t have been. Harry was already pissed. Was it her? Maybe. She already hated him.

“Get off the fucking ice!” Charlie shouted.

No one moved. Except Harry who was dying to get his hands on Kael.

Kael took his helmet off and looked at her. “You’re nothing but a groupie, baby. When Harry’s done with you, you’ll come crawling back. You have nothing.”

She was shaking, perhaps as badly as the rest of the team was. She wanted to smack him across his stupid fucking face, but she was trying to remain composed with so many cameras on her. This was already going to be a PR nightmare, and it was all her fault. Although she was sure none of the guys would care, it bothered her. Just another reason to add to how she fucked with the team’s energy and made everything different since her arrival.

“Kael, just stop. Leave me alone,” she hissed.

“Or what, baby?” He taunted. “Your group of fuck buddies will go after me?”

“Watch it,” Harry snarled still straining against Callie and Asher.

“Let’s go,” she whispered, pushing her hands into Harry's chest behind her. He slid backwards a little to create more space between them. “This isn’t worth it,” she said loud enough for Kael to hear.

However, he wasn't accepting their escape. Their way to take the higher ground. But before she could get away, Kael grabbed her arm, hard.

Time seemed to stop for a moment. Truly, suspended in disbelief as she gasped. "Ow, Kael!” She yelped.

“Oh, fuck no,” Harry growled lowly.

“Shit,” Callie grabbed at Harry harder and yanked him back before he could kill Crowe on a live broadcast.

Niall and Lang stepped forward as Asher helped Callie hold Harry back. “Let go of her fucking wrist, Crowe,” Niall said putting a hand on her back.

“You have two seconds to let go of her,” Lang added at the same time.

“Let fucking go of me,” Harry thrashed against his teammates.

She bent awkwardly trying to get her arm back, gasping at the pressure he pitted against her so effortlessly. “HEY!” It was Ray who shouted. “That’s enough! Crowe, let go of my niece or I’ll kill you!”

But Charlie was already on the move, next to Crowe in the blink of an eye. He was shorter than the bulky, built hockey player on skates by a head or maybe even two. Without hesitation he reached for Kael’s neck as if he were the same height and pressed on the space between his neck and clavicle. Within seconds, Kael was gasping, he dropped her arm instantly.

There wasn’t a break in his movements, everything fluid like he was skating on the ice as Charlie shoved his niece backwards making her lose her balance, but Harry caught her just before she hit the ground. “Everyone off the fucking ice!” Coach yelled.

Harry had never been so relieved to have her in his embrace as he skated off the ice, pushing her forward quickly even though he wanted to kill Kael.

“Are you alright, Sweetheart?” Callie asked.

“Shut the fuck up, Callie,” Harry snarled.

“Harry,” she whispered.

“Jesus, Styles, I just wanted—”

“Shut. Up.  Don’t ever get in my way like that Calloway, not when she’s—”

“Harry,” she repeated stronger as she nearly had to race to catch up to them on their long legs—even with skates. She grabbed his hand, still balled into a shaking fist. She gave it a gentle squeeze. “Kian isn’t the bad guy here,” she reminded him. Harry glared at his teammate, shoulders heaving with each angry breath. After a moment he nodded, his jaw flexing tautly as he did.

“Sorry, Callie,” she whispered, squeezing his arm which made Harry huff out a breath and look away. He strongly considered snapping his stick in half. Again.

“It’s okay, Sweetheart. We all get a little crazy about you,” he smirked. “Harry,” he nodded and headed into the locker room. She turned to Harry to remind him that his teammates weren’t the problem, ever.

“Are you alright?” Charlie asked, catching up as they stopped in front of the locker room.

Harry stared at her unsurely waiting for her answer with bated breath. She nodded, putting on a brave face. “Yes.”

“You’re sure?” Harry asked, taking a heaving breath. His hands were still shaking at his sides.

She nodded. “I’m fine,” because she was. There might be a bruise on her arm from the grip he had, but she wasn’t in pain anymore. He didn’t break anything (which was a horrifying thought) but it wasn’t any less true. “Please go change, I want to get out of here,” she urged. Harry’s eyes flicked to Charlie before he went into the locker room after his teammates. She twisted her wrist once he was out of sight. Charlie narrowed his eyes at the movement.

“Are you—”

Quickly with an awful realization, she touched her neck. “Oh fuck, I left my camera,” she grumbled rubbing her hand over her face.

Charlie was staring at her just as unsurely. “I’ll have someone go get it.”

“No, it’s fine,” she shook her head. “I need the walk, the air,” she sighed.

“I have a press conference. I can skip it. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Positive. I’m sorry I caused all this,” she frowned. “I really feel like you didn’t ask for any of this with the team.”

“Hey Sweetheart?” He put a hand on her shoulder. “I always hated Crowe,” he smiled. “You were way too good for him. If the whole team got in trouble for hurting him, well, that would be worth it in my book. If he ever touches you again, I think the whole team will kill him.”

“Well, we have a whole season to prepare for that,” she smirked sadly. “Thank you, Uncle Charlie.”

“Anything for you Sweetheart. Go take a few breaths,” he squeezed her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Wish you slapped him; you earned it,” he winked over his shoulder as he headed for the media room.

She smiled and took several deep breaths calming herself as much as she could as she walked back down the tunnel to the rink. She had been in the very arena hundreds of times. It never felt like home. Not the way The Arctic Chargers arena felt. In a shorter amount of time at that. The idea that she had ever thought she could live her life in this arena feeling like she was less was crazy. Especially when Harry and the entire team made her feel so important.

She said hello and waved to people she recognized from her days spent watching Kael. Her new media friends said hello as well. She waved to the man driving the Zamboni and snagged her camera off the visiting bench that she dropped there when she saw Kael antagonizing Harry from across the rink. She couldn’t believe she nearly lost it in all the commotion; but she supposed for Harry, it was worth it. It could have been a lot worse.

Following Charlie’s advice, she continued breathing deeply. Hoping to calm herself from the inside out. She was glad she didn’t hit Kael. As much as she wanted to. With her luck, he would have pressed charges or something. It would have played right into his act.

Hopefully everyone saw the way he grabbed her wrist.

For several seconds, she sat on the bench, her head between her knees breathing and collecting herself. Harry looked murderous. She hoped he showered and felt better. She would have to thank Callie and Asher again for holding him back before he did something terrible.

Sighing, she stood, headed for the locker room once more. Relieved there would once more be a whole year between now and the next game she would have to see Kael next season. She was going to forget about any of her stuff at their old apartment. He could have it. It didn’t matter. As long as she had her camera, she could make everything else work. She looked at the screen to continue calming herself. As soon as the boys were ready, they would head to the hotel and get some sleep before a red eye flight home. Her hotel room bed sounded like heaven (even if it was going to be missing a number eleven in her blankets).

She was so ready for this day to be over.

Right as she exited the tunnel and headed down the hall toward the locker room, she was shoved against the wall, hard. She didn’t know how the guys got checked into the boards all the time. Even with padding on that had to have hurt—and multiple times? Forget it. She felt an ache all over her back. The air in her lungs was displaced and she moaned as she tried to breathe through it. It felt like her body was one giant bruise in a matter of seconds.

Kael held her in place. His eyes dark and his face expressionless. “You’re a lot more vulnerable without a hockey team behind you.”

She gaped, as he easily yanked her camera from her grip and dropped it to the ground. Her eyes watered at the sound of all the mechanical pieces cracking. She whimpered. “Kael,” she gasped as the air slowly returned. “Let me go.”

“You were good for my image, baby,” he crooned. “Didn’t you like living the luxurious lifestyle?” He skimmed the back of his finger along her cheek. Other than a helmet and gloves, he was still in all his gear, skates, and pads, so he towered imposingly over her. She whimpered again. “You have no power here,” he reminded her pinning her in place by pressing close to her. If anyone walked by, they would think it was just a heated form of foreplay. His legs caged her in. His body holding her in place.

His hand closed around her throat.

“Stop,” she begged squirming to get away from him.

“You’re pathetic. You think just because your uncle is a coach and your new boyfriend is a sorry excuse of a look-a-like for me that you can do whatever you want,” his voice was low, threatening. If it wasn’t immediately following a game maybe someone would have seen the interaction. But instead, the players were in the locker room, coaches in the media room, other workers in the arena. It was just the pair of them. “You’re nothing, baby. You’ve got nothing.”

He was good. Waiting until she was most vulnerable. Even if she was lucky enough for someone to come by, she was certain he made it so he didn’t look like he was harming her or speaking terrible things to her.

But she was right there. Hearing every menacing word. Every word meant to cut her deeper than any physical harm he could cause her. “You’re nothing but a groupie, baby. You’ll always be a dumb puck bunny.”

“Please,” she croaked, gasping for breath. Her squirming wasn’t enough, he was too strong, and Lord knew how long until the boys would come out of the locker room and Charlie out of the press conference. No one was coming to her rescue.

She clawed at his arms, but the pads protected him. Everything was protected which seemed like a metaphor she couldn’t quite put together right now.

Everything except the hand on her throat.

She bent her head at an awkward angle allowing air to flow just enough. Thrashing against his hold hoping he would slip just a bit. He didn’t notice she was trying to reach for his hand. He must have assumed she was trying to escape. It didn’t have to be a lot she just needed something to give.

When it did finally give, she wasted no time. His hand moved just enough so that she could bend her neck completely. Once she could, she bit down as hard as she could on his finger.

She bit so hard that she tasted blood.

“What the fuck!” He growled yanking away instinctively. She didn’t waste a second and bolted. He was on skates, and she was in her boots so for once in an ice arena she had the speed advantage, and she wasn’t going to lose that.

Without really noticing where her feet carried her, the locker room burst open before her. She couldn’t even see because her eyes were blurred over with tears. She choked out a sob as the door shut behind her.

“Bunny?” Harry sounded concerned, curious, and confused all in one little word that she hated so much (especially right now) but loved when Harry said it.

“Oh hell,” Asher whispered. It was quiet then, no one moving, or speaking.

“Harry?” She cried, unable to see as she wiped uselessly at her face to rid herself of the tears and she pressed her other hand to the top of her chest trying to stop her heart from flying out of her ribcage and soothe the ache and burn of knowing his hand was on her neck. The other hand went to her mouth. Her face tilted down, and her hair fell in front of her face.

If the team was naked, she wouldn’t even know. Her vision wasn’t clear enough to see an inch in front of her.

“Bunny?” He repeated, his voice closer, his hands gently caressing her face. A massive juxtaposition to how Kael held her moments before. “Kitten,” he turned her neck ever so gently inspecting every inch of her face. “What happened?”

“H-he broke m-my camera,” she sniffled and swiped at her eyes. With a little more clarity, she could see Harry was half undressed, just his practice jersey and compression pants on him. He was sweaty and never looked hotter and she was a goddamn wreck.

“I’ll kill him,” but it was Niall who growled out the sentiment. Before another word could be uttered, she heard the locker-room door open.

“Oh fuck,” Lang was quick to follow.

“Bunny,” Harry crouched slightly to meet her gaze. “Kitten, what happened?” He repeated. She shook her head, her cries catching in her throat again. She buried her face into his chest and sobbed. Harry cupped the back of her head, curling around her protectively the way he always seemed to when she cried. “Fuck, Bunny,” he frowned. His lips found her ear. “Did he touch you?” He asked.

She nodded. The rest of the team must have already anticipated what she was upset over, because it was even quieter than when she entered. She felt Harry start shaking again. It started from the center of his body outward. She imagined his toes were shaking. Fully vibrating with anger. “I’m gonna kill him,” Harry’s voice was so low and so terrifying she shivered.

“Please don’t leave me,” she sniffled.

He groaned and tightened his grip on her. “Y’killing me, Rookie,” he mumbled.

“I just want to go home, please,” she begged her voice breaking.

His heart broke. “We’re heading to the hotel soon, and I’ll drive y’home when we land, Bunny, I promise,” he assured her. The thought of leaving her alone was repulsive. Almost as much as this whole moment with Kael.

“No... take me home with you,” she whispered.

Well, if there was one way to keep him sane, he supposed that would be it. “Take you home?” He repeated. “My home?”

She nodded. “Please, I don’t want to be away from you.”

Make that, two ways to keep him sane.

*

She refused to say what he did specifically. He didn’t do anything but hold her in the hotel bed until the team left in the middle of the night for their red eye flight. He sat next to her on the bus and the plane, carrying her stuff and wincing every time she sniffled. He combed his fingers through her hair, refusing to let go of her for anything other than the bathroom. He made sure she drank enough water and had medicine for all the aches she endured.

Charlie was fuming in his seat. Between what happened and her lack of response about what happened, he may have sent Harry several messages regarding how he would enjoy going to jail if Harry hurt her. He ignored those messages for the time being. But he did pay attention to the one where Charlie said he was looking into getting the security footage pulled before Kael could swipe it from the arena.

The team had no problem messaging Kael. The coward left before anyone could find him. Niall found her camera shattered to bits on the floor. Callie pulled the memory card from the wreck but there wasn’t anything that could be done to save the equipment.

Except of course, Harry ordered her a new, top-of-the-line camera while she showered in his bathroom.

After what felt like hours but was only maybe half at most, she finally exited the bathroom. Harry turned from lying on his bed to sitting on the edge watching her immediately. Her eyes were red-rimmed, hair damp. She looked adorable even when she was sad, and it was so unfair. She was wearing a T-shirt Harry pulled from one of his drawers. It had the Chargers logo across the front, and he wished more than anything it had his name on the back.

“Did that help?” He asked.

She nodded but held the towel out to him. “I don’t know where to put this,” she avoided his gaze which had to be next to impossible because Harry couldn’t tear his away from her. He took the towel and tossed it toward the corner of the room where his hamper lived, although he hadn’t done laundry in a week, and so the towel fell off the side to the pile beside it.

“Bunny,” he murmured. “Look at me please,” he whispered.

She shook her head, her eyes welling with tears. “I’m so embarrassed, I’ll cry again.”

“Y’have nothing t’be embarrassed ‘bout, Rookie, love,” his voice was gentle, he reached for her hip and pulled her toward him, opening his legs so she fit between his thighs. “What did he do?” He asked, keeping one hand on her hip and the other traveled up her arm, cupped the side of her neck and slid along to her face.

“You’ll get mad,” she whispered.

“M’already mad, kitten,” he reminded her.

“What is with you and the animal names?” Her voice was soft.

“You’re an adorable creature, Bunny, I don’t have a choice,” he smirked, spoke just as quietly as she did, but not falling for her dodging what he wanted to know. “Don’t distract me,” he brushed his fingertips softly along the outline of her face.

“You’ll be mad at me.”

“Never, Rookie. M’never mad at you,” he hoped he sounded as reassuring as he wanted to be. It was true. He was never mad at her.

“I bit his finger,” she mumbled. “Really hard.”

Harry tilted his head. “You what?”

“He...” she swallowed and pressed her face into the space of his shoulder and neck hiding. “He was choking me,” her voice was so quiet Harry had to strain to hear it. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the anger to stay at bay so she wouldn’t be scared. “And I couldn’t move and... and I just needed the right angle, so I bit his finger. Really hard. I tasted blood,” she explained.

Harry chuckled despite everything. “Good girl,” he pulled her to him and squeezed her tight. “And y’came t’me?” he mumbled thoughtfully cupping her face watching her eyes. He brushed his thumb along her cheek. It was selfish of him to ask when she was hurt. But he couldn't help it. She was his whole world whether she knew it or not and he needed to know.

“I didn’t want anyone else,” her skin turned the slightest pink. “Is that okay?”

Harry’s heart softened. “Yeah, Bunny. S’really okay,” he assured her, then he pulled her back against his shoulder, tucking her into his embrace. “The guys couldn’t find him... the coward,” he snipped.

Harry felt a smile on her lips warm his skin. He grinned half-heartedly and swayed her gently. “For the best,” she admitted. “I like your room,” she whispered glancing around. “Maybe I will take it.”

“S’fine with me,” he shrugged.

She stared at him pointedly. “I don’t want to live here for free.”

“Oh, come on, Rookie I have a hundred rooms with nothing in them.”

“I won’t live here for free.”

“Fine, but you’re not paying rent-prices. Y’can buy groceries or pay the electric bill. Or maybe the Internet bill. But not all three.”

She laughed and shook her head. “You’re insane.”

“And you’re keeping the car.”

“Certifiable.”

*

“Harry, are you awake?” She whispered.

“Mmm,” he hummed sleepily. Her soft voice in his bed was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. It was the first time they slept in his bed. Harry was a lot of things, and it was evident that possessive was a major one. He loved sleeping in her tiny bed when there was no room, so she always ended up burrowing into his side. Still, there something about having her in his room, his bed, wrapped in his blankets that made the Neanderthalic part of his mind undeniably happy. He kept space between them, as he always tried to maintain when they shared a bed. But he felt a compulsion to hold her hand between them as he stared at the ceiling unable to sleep thinking about how much he hated someone who hurt the pretty woman beside him.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Bunny,” he whispered quietly shaking his head. “Y’never have t’thank me. Not for that.”

“I do though,” she sounded like she was nodding. “I don’t know why you like me so much. Like... from the start... and still. I’ve been nothing but trouble.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t think s’true. And does that matter from the start?”

“I don’t know... it never really happened to me before...” she trailed off. “Kael and I were just around each other for a while—got to know each other and it made sense. Then we were together for a really long time... I never had someone just like me for me, right away without knowing anything else about me. I guess I’m just worried that if... if you do like me—and I do believe you when you say you do—it will change because it changed for him. I’m not that special, you know? I’m not a celebrity. I just take pictures and—”

Harry sighed, if he was visible in the night, she would see him rolling his eyes at the ceiling and shaking his head. “Y’know I had a bunch of contacts for women for all the different cities we visit, right?” He interrupted. It wasn’t the best segue in conversation, and it probably wasn’t a nice thing to hear when he was trying to convince her he liked her infinitely more than he ever liked anybody. Especially after the day she had.

There was a slight pause. If she said something like that to Harry, he would be jealous for days and would probably have to break another hockey stick. So, he was well aware he needed to give her a second to think through her emotions. “Yeah...?” Her voice was quiet again. Unsure.

He reached beside him for his phone on his nightstand. He unlocked it, turned the brightness down, blinking awkwardly against it so he wouldn’t hurt her eyes as well. He opened his messages and handed it to her.

There were a good number of unsaved numbers listed in the threads. Many had the same start of each message previewed before clicking on it. I am deleting your number because I’ve met—

“Harry,” she said softly.

“Open one,” he offered.

She shook her head. “Harry, you didn’t do anything—I don’t want to go through—”

He reached over and tapped on one of the messages.

—a really lovely girl and I want to take it seriously. I won’t be contacting you anymore... You were a great person to know. I wish you all the best. Xx Harry

“Harry,” she whispered breathlessly.

Only some had answered. From what she could see, most who had responded thought it was sweet; they understood where he was coming from, it was kind of him to reach out and not leave them hanging. Some were less happy for him but since they all knew what they signed up for, none appeared to be outright angry or derisive. Harry took his phone back and opened his contacts. If the unsaved numbers were to be believed, he should have had plenty more contacts listed. Instead, it was just teammates, coaches, his family.

And hers. Rookie 📷🐇

She bit her lip.

“I think ‘ve been waiting for you, Rookie, love. I never wanted someone more,” he put his phone back. “M’not kidding. I’ll wait forever,” he promised. She felt her face crumple in half. Emotional over and in complete disbelief that someone so kind and sweet was willing to wait for her when he could truly have anyone he wanted. Someone way more talented and beautiful than her. "Go t'sleep, Bunny," he whispered softly and pressed a kiss to her temple. "We can talk 'bout it tomorrow."

*

Harry made sure she had everything she needed for the day; he snuck into her phone to turn her alarm off. He put a note on the bedside table. No work today. Enjoy playing hooky, Bunny. But please stay so I can see you when I come home. She wished she had her camera so she could take a picture of the note, but her phone would suffice for now. She dreaded the thought of purchasing a new camera. But she needed to deal with one thing at a time. First of which meant breakfast and coffee. She headed to the kitchen after using the bathroom.

The doorbell rang at the exact same time. She peered through the window and saw a man in a black shirt with a green apron. She tilted her head. “Rookie?” He asked tentatively.

“Uh... yeah?”

“Here you go,” he handed her a drink—her favorite coffee and the man left.

She blinked. “How many times have you been here?”

“I was instructed to come every half hour with a fresh drink and wait five minutes until you answered,” he explained backing toward his car. She smirked sipping it. It was delicious.

“Did he pay you at least?” She called tapping her fingers against the plastic.

“Excessively!” He shouted with a grin, pulling his door closed. She smiled, closed the front door, locked it, before heading for the living room sipping her favorite kind of coffee from her favorite guy.

*

She heard the garage door open around five and the door creak from the mudroom attached to the garage to the house.

“Do you like chicken noodle soup?” She asked. “I know that sounds silly, because it’s a classic. But because it’s a classic, there was a time when I was in high school, and I swear I was sick for a month and all I ate was chicken noodle soup. I haven’t had any since, I think. But on a whim, I had some last week, and it was literally the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten,” she explained while Harry took his shoes off. She grabbed the bread she was toasting out of the oven, and she smiled as he slowly made his way to the kitchen.

He looked around the room for a moment. “Did y’clean?” He asked ignoring her rant about soup, he ran his finger along the thin side table that was directly next to the counter. It looked dusted, and the little trinkets were placed back on the table just so.

She smiled sheepishly and nodded. “I know you hate when I do stuff like this, but I was really bored. I shouldn’t be allowed to have a day off. Idle minds, you know? I also figured you must not have time to clean often with your schedule. This place isn’t even that dirty, and I think I’m the one that tracks in all the snow and dirt from the pond,” she explained.

He stared at her as she spoke, dropped his small duffle bag beside him.

She blinked at his weird stance as she stirred the soup in the big pot she was using. “Are you mad?”

His gaze was unmoving from her face. He tilted his head toward the laundry room, the sound of the dryer humming from the hallway. “And laundry?” He asked.

Now she felt like she was in trouble. “Well... you had a mountain of it in your room and I was finished cleaning. Which meant I was about to go insane due to boredom again,” she shrugged. “You’re mad,” she frowned. “I was just trying to do something nice.”

“Dishes?” He jutted his chin toward the empty sink.

“That’s on you for leaving them. You know I love dishes.”

“Grocery shopping?” He hummed.

“I figured if I’m going to live here, I may as well chip in since you won’t let me pay for—”

“What’s this?” He asked looking at the picture frames face down on the kitchen table. He picked one up and inspected it. She had selected several photos. Some of the team, some from her series of photo. There was even one of Marc and Michael. But naturally, the one he picked up was one of the photos from the gallery night.

Harry’s arm wrapped around her waist, his hand resting on her hip. While she looked at the woman holding his phone camera, Harry was gazing down at her. His smile was full of adoration. She picked it to be framed because even though the camera didn’t get a look at his pretty green eyes for one photo (which was truly a loss), she felt like the most beautiful thing in the world with the way he looked at her.

“Oh, I thought they were cute pictures, and we could put them—” Harry put the frame down, turned toward the stove and flicked the burner off. “Harry...? What are you—”

He then faced her; he slid his hands along both of her cheeks. Gently, he tilted her neck, so her eyes met his. “My pretty, pretty Bunny,” he murmured brushing the tip of his nose against hers. Her breath caught in her throat. Whatever smart remark she was going to make about him being bossy or extra was stuck on her tongue. His gaze dropped to her lips and then she was overwhelmed by the color green again. Her face felt hot with a blush that she couldn't stop and she was only seconds ahead of what his intention was. “Y’can tell me t’stop, Rookie, love. I don’t want t’rush it.”

“Please don’t stop,” she whispered.

“Oh Bunny, y’never have t’beg for me, ever,” his voice was deep, gravelly. Filled with desire and wanting.

And he wanted her.

Harry had waited a very long time to kiss her. But these last few seconds leading to their first kiss felt like a literal eternity, but finally his lips met hers.

She moaned softly, a quiet almost-whimper, nearly the exact moment his mouth touched hers. He was so gentle; it felt like his lips were hardly moving and the drag of his mouth was so sinful she could feel it burning. It burned her lips and every other inch of her skin. Her mind was so entranced with the feel of Harry’s lips between hers, the way his tongue slipped gently along the seam of her mouth, carefully coaxing her open so he could get a better taste of her.

Harry knew she would taste delicious. He didn’t know it was going to be so instantly addictive. But he shouldn’t have been surprised.

She was a little unsure how it happened—too distracted by the feeling of the prettiest man in hockey kissing her, but she was lifted to the counter, her legs around his waist. His hips flush against the edge of the counter. With one hand, he cupped the back of her head, his fingers winding in her hair. The other was at the small of her back, pulling her toward him.

“God Bunny,” he groaned and peppered kisses along her jaw and down her neck. “I’ve wanted this for s'long.” She shivered feeling overwhelmed with his desire. Harry had a way of making her feel special and she should have known kissing him wasn’t going to be the exception. She was nearly out of breath and didn’t know how Harry could keep kissing her. “You’re so perfect,” he whispered into her throat.

“Harry,” she whispered.

He moaned. “Oh, Rookie, y’say m’name like that m’gonna be done for. What d’you want, Bunny? Y’can have whatever y’want... anything. S’yours.”

She laughed silently, her shoulders shaking as his mouth worked across her collarbone to the other side of her throat. He was so tender and intentional in his kisses of where Kael hurt her, and he took all that pain away. “Nothing, I just... like—”

He groaned again and brought her lips back to his, kissing her so passionately it ached. “I like you so much, Bunny,” he whispered, his mouth dragging along her skin. “I don’t want you t’go. Please don’t close yourself off from me. I’ll do anything.”

She felt bad that he felt like he had to beg for her attention. He had it, and he always had it. If she was honest, since the very first time she met him. “I won’t, I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered.

“Oh, thank God,” he sighed and pulled her toward him. He wrapped his arms beneath her, supporting her weight and carried her to his room.

“Harry, baby, you gotta slow down,” she giggled.

He moaned or growled. Perhaps a little of both. He tucked his face into her neck again. “Y’call me baby, m’not gonna live.”

She laughed. “Oh, you have to.”

Carefully he laid her back on his mattress. Yeah, he slept beside her the night before. He had snuggled with her in her own bed several times as well. This was different. This was all her walls finally down. Her vulnerability and trust were on full display. Harry was the luckiest man in the world to witness it. To be trusted to take care of her. He didn’t know how anyone could betray such a sweet, perfect person.

“M’gonna kiss every inch of you,” he promised.

“You’ve been awfully patient, Harry. Don’t you want to jump to the good stuff?” Her cheeks warmed once more as she asked.

He shook his head. “No, not even a little. I want every single second of you. Every single kiss. I’d wait forever for you, Bunny.”

She didn’t deserve him, but she would happily keep him. “You’re too good,” she whispered cupping his face and stroking her thumbs along his cheeks. He rested his forehead against hers as he hovered beside her.

“M’not Rookie. You’re too good. Exceptionally intelligent, creative, and deliriously beautiful. My schedule is all kinds of fucked,” he reminded her. “I never had a girlfriend because I can only give you five months.

She smiled. “I’m literally with the team all the time, Harry.”

“But when y’open your studio, y’won’t be.”

“I’m not opening a studio,” she laughed shaking her head, her nose bumping his.

He rolled his eyes. He wanted to kiss her, hold her, and very much wanted to make her come all over him. But this was important to him because she was the most important thing to him. “Of course you are, Rookie. Y’have too much talent t’be wasting it on a group of rowdy hockey players.”

There was a wave of pride that bloomed over her. His unwavering support and constant belief in her. She grinned. “Harry Styles," she sighed. "You’re incredible. Number one twice for sure.”

He chuckled softly, ducking his gaze slightly at her compliment. It meant more than any other time he heard it because this was her saying it. “Thanks, Bunny,” he smiled and kissed her again lingering and holding her face in his hands like he never wanted to let go. “You’re pucking perfect.”

--

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[calzona-ga]

Since 2005, Shondaland has produced groundbreaking television. And over the course of 17 seasons, Grey’s Anatomy has made more than its fair share of bold choices. From the killing off of Patrick Dempsey’s beloved McDreamy to the still-controversial ghost-sex story line, the ABC series has seen, and done, it all. But perhaps no episode was riskier than turning the popular medical drama into a musical for “Song Beneath the Song,” the infamous season-7 hour in which a pregnant Callie (Sara Ramirez) gets badly injured in a car accident and, while her fellow doctors work to save her life, sees her hallucinatory self burst into song — with the rest of the characters quickly following suit.

Coming from the mind of series creator Shonda Rhimes, a vocal fan of both Broadway shows and TV musicals like Buffy’s “Once More, With Feeling,” the Grey’s musical episode was a monumental moment for the show and for television. Many viewers praised its audacity and swooned over the vocal chops of stars like Ramirez and Chandra Wilson.

“Song Beneath the Song” made for one of the most memorable hours of television, earning strong ratings and leading the soundtrack, particularly Ramirez’s show-stopping rendition of Brandi Carlile’s “The Story,” to Billboard success. A decade later, its impact is still growing, thanks in part to the countless teenage Grey’s fans who’ve only recently discovered the series via Netflix. Like the show itself, the musical has become an indelible part of TV history — and so, 10 years after its premiere in March 2011, we spoke to the episode’s cast and crew to get the story of how it came to be.

Featuring thoughts from Rhimes; writers, producers, and co-showrunners Tony Phelan and Joan Rater; and actors Wilson, Kevin McKidd, Jessica Capshaw, Kim Raver, and Eric Dane, this is the oral history of “Song Beneath the Song.”

Finding the Inspiration

Inspired by a 2008 benefit concert in which several stars of Grey’s and its spinoff show Private Practice performed songs to support out-of-work Hollywood workers during the 2007-2008 writers’ strike, Rhimes decided to turn her long-held desire to make a Grey’s musical episode into a reality.

Rhimes (series creator and writer): I remember thinking to myself at a certain point, I have this sort of murderers’ row of Broadway people. Like, Chandra had been on Broadway and singing; obviously, Sara Ramirez had won a Tony on Broadway [for Best Featured Actress in a Musical, in 2005], which is how I first met her; and then I knew that Kevin could sing. There were so many people in the show with beautiful voices. ... It felt like it was leaning in that direction in a good way.

Rater (writer, producer, and co-showrunner): The first iteration for, like, two days when we first started batting around the idea was that we would write original music. It was all gonna be original music. And then we quickly realized that a) who’s gonna write that music?, and b) no, it doesn’t feel like the right thing. And then Shonda, I think a day or two later, came in with the idea that we would use these iconic songs.

Wilson (Dr. Miranda Bailey): But the studio wasn’t quite on board with this whole idea.

Convincing a Skeptical Network

After coming up with the episode’s plot and deciding that the characters would sing classic songs from the Grey’s soundtrack, like Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars” and the Fray’s “How to Save a Life,” Rhimes pitched the idea to the network — but, in a surprising first, she was told that they were going to pass.

Rhimes: By that point, I wasn’t getting notes on anything; nobody was saying no to me about anything. So it was really bizarre to me that there was all this resistance to doing a musical episode. And I remember somebody at the network saying, “Can’t you just do one of your love-triangle thingies again?” And I thought, my head’s gonna explode, because the show is not a bunch of “love-triangle thingies.” You guys have missed the point entirely. I felt like, no, every year of the show is a completely different show, and this year the show has a musical episode. And that’s the story.

McKidd (Dr. Owen Hunt): Tony, Joan, and Shonda basically said to us, “We are trying to convince Disney to give us actual money to do this musical episode, and we feel like we want to do a show-and-tell to show them what this musical episode could be. Are you guys willing to give your time to help us create this show-and-tell?” And we were like, “Yeah, of course.”

Wilson: So we gave them a concert. Sara, Kevin McKidd, and I, along with musicians, got together, and we performed this script that Shonda and Tony Phelan put together. Shonda did the narrating. And we went through what the entire episode would be, based on those iconic songs.

McKidd: I remember Sandra Oh came to the concert for the execs just to be moral support for us. And she became like our groupie — she would stand and cheer and whoop and holler in between all the songs.

Phelan (writer, producer, director, and co-showrunner): Once [the executives] saw it, and saw it could work, then they gave us the okay to do it.

Rhimes: I still feel like they thought we were crazy. But you couldn’t deny the talent in the room.

Getting the Cast on Board

Once the episode was greenlit, the team began the task of persuading a cast full of non-singers to simultaneously sing, act, and — in some cases — dance on screen.

Wilson: The offer was put out on the table from the beginning from Shonda — anybody that’s not interested in singing, you’re not required; you don’t have to do it.

Rater: I think Sandra from the beginning was like, nope.

Rhimes: She looked at me — it was her very deadpan face — and she was like, “I’m not singing.” And I was like, okay! If that’s not your thing, that is not your thing — that’s completely okay. And it didn’t feel like she was afraid to sing or push past this barrier. It felt like Cristina Yang doesn’t sing. And that made sense to me.

Rater: Ellen [Pompeo] has a great voice. She could’ve done more. ... Ellen was very gracious about, like, “I’ll doo-wop in the back; don’t worry about me. Let’s hear Chandra, let’s hear Sara, this is theirs.”

Capshaw (Dr. Arizona Robbins): In addition to Sara having this powerhouse voice, she was always very generous about others and never made anyone feel smaller because of her giant power. But singing with her was like, “Aw, man [laughs], how about you get this one? You got this leg of the race.”

Wilson: Probably the most frightened person was Kim Raver, bless her heart.

Raver (Dr. Teddy Altman): It was super-exciting and terrifying at the same time. We all love singing, but unless you’re Sara Ramirez or Chandra Wilson.

Dane (Dr. Mark Sloan): I don’t fancy myself a singer, so I said, “Shonda, in this particular episode, I want the least amount of lines.”

Rhimes: Eric Dane surprised me, because his voice had this lovely quality to it that was really nice.

Dane: I set her up for a catastrophe, so she had very low expectations.

Starting Rehearsals

For months leading up to the episode, the cast embarked on a grueling series of rehearsals and voice lessons, adding hours onto their already long daily schedules.

Capshaw: I had just had a baby, and I was really taking my life one day at a time. I knew it was going to be a big episode, but, timeliness-wise, it was a tough time. I think I was still breast-feeding.

Phelan: Usually in the writers’ room, you’ve got maybe six-to-eight weeks from the time you come up with an idea to the time that it’s shot. This we needed almost the entire season to plan for.

Raver: It was like riding a bike but then adding, like, six more wheels to it, and you had to kind of figure it out.

Capshaw: We were all bringing our A games. In normal days, it feels like there’s a familiarity, you can feel a little more casual, a little more off-the-cuff, but there was nothing off-the-cuff about this. It was all very high stakes because it was life or death, literally.

There were some silver linings, though.

Dane: We had these little earbuds in our ears, I guess like how you film musicals, so you can sync what you’re mouthing with the music in your ear. And so I went to the sound operator and said, “I can buy one of these earbuds, right? And I can create a content-receiver pack and connect it to an iPod and pipe music into this too theoretically, yes?” And he said, “Yeah, you could do that if you want to.” So I said, “So when I’m performing surgery in later episodes on this show, and I don’t have very many lines, theoretically I could be listening to music, and nobody would know?” And he said, “Yeah, theoretically, that would work.” So I had one made, and I shot many episodes in the surgical theater, sometimes with lines, listening to music, many times.

Filming the Episode

“Song Beneath the Song” revolved largely around the seriousness of Callie’s condition, but there were also some light moments, including a sexy, dance-filled take on “Running on Sunshine” featuring several of the show’s couples.

Capshaw: When Sara and I are in the car in the clouds — oh my god, I’ve never felt so goofy in my life [laughs].

Raver: Scott Foley [who played Teddy’s love interest Henry] and I had so much fun working together. He’s so funny, and so choreographing that dance singing number was really fun.

Wilson: Debbie Allen sent in Eartha Robinson, one of her choreographers from the Debbie Allen Dance Academy, who I knew from Fame, the television series. So this is who was coming in, teaching us how to twirl. And I was like, oh my god, I’m on Fame!

Early in the episode, McKidd’s Owen sing-shouts at his crew of doctors to “calm down” — a moment that, years later, became a widely shared meme for its over-the-top nature.

McKidd: In the scene, I think it was Kate Walsh — she’s brilliant; she’s a prankster — and Patrick and Eric Dane. And they were all arguing. And I’m sitting there and [the cameras] push in on me and I go, “Calm down.” And they couldn’t keep a straight face. Every time we did a take, they just would fall over laughing. And they were on camera giving me the eye line, and I had to sing this song seriously with those two actors just doubled over, like sidesplitting. It just tickled their funny bones so much. That was one of the hardest acting days of my life [laughs].

Capshaw: For sure, many, many, many shots were taken at Kevin McKidd for his “calm down” [laughs]. ... He really took on the rock-&-roll part of it.

McKidd: My daughter, who’s big on Twitter, she said that “calm down” thing’s like a serious meme thing now, which I guess is an honor. I don’t know.

The biggest moment of the hour came at the end, when Ramirez, a Tony winner for Spamalot, sang “The Story” as Callie fought for her life.

Phelan: When Sara came to Grey’s, she had this idea that she absolutely wanted to be known as an actress not a singer. And so for her first couple seasons on the show, she kind of left that side of her behind. Then, here was Shonda and I coming to her and saying, “No, we want to re-engage that part of you and put it on the show.” And so I think that she got nervous about that ... but to hear that amazing, magical voice come out of her ... that was the moment that was going to be able to sustain the music [of the whole episode].

Rhimes: When she sings “The Story,” I mean — I wrote the episode; I know what’s gonna happen. I’ve seen it a thousand times. It has nothing to do with me. But I always tear up a little bit because of her extraordinary voice and extraordinary performance.

Wilson: What a showcase it was for Sara Ramirez. I’m so glad that she got to share that part of herself with our audiences.

Reading Those Reviews

On March 31, 2011, the episode aired. While it garnered strong ratings, viewers’ reactions to “Song Beneath the Song” were mixed.

McKidd: I think we all went into it with our eyes open, and we knew there was gonna be mixed reviews. Because some people are gonna love it, and some people aren’t. But that shouldn’t stop people from taking a few risks in what we do, you know?

Rater: I remember being shocked that there were people who didn’t like it. I was like, come on!

Capshaw: It didn’t feel like [the reviews] were gonna affect anything either way. It wasn’t gonna be like, “Oh my gosh, that was too silly, and I’m never watching Grey’s again.” It had already found its place in people’s hearts.

Rhimes: I learned very quickly [on Grey’s] that if you’re gonna believe the good things people say about you, you have to believe the bad things people say. So there’s no point in paying attention to any of it. ... Nobody’s gonna like everything that you do.

Phelan: I know there are a lot of people who don’t like it, who felt like it bent the show too much, but it’s season 7 of a show, and if you’re not taking big swings when you’re on season 7 on a show, something’s wrong.

Creating a Legacy

Despite the critical reactions, the episode has developed something of a cult following over the years, thanks to live benefits and TikTok memes. A decade later, its creators all look back fondly on the hour and its impact.

Wilson: [The cast] watched it together, and I remember feeling like, wow, look at what we did!

Capshaw: When we showed up to do that benefit concert, I remember coming out onstage ... and being completely, completely overwhelmed with the people that responded to Arizona in that episode, and to the love story between Callie and Arizona.

Phelan: As a director, it was the biggest challenge of my career to do that, and it’s one of the things that I’m most proud of.

Raver: I’ll be in my car singing along, or at work if we’re in the hair-and-makeup trailer and we’re listening to [the soundtrack], it’s just an immediate flashback. It kind of feels like yesterday.

Wilson: The soundtrack is on my playlist on my phone [laughs]. So I will pop that thing out in a minute, because it’s just absolute happy memories.

Rater: If I’m cooking, that is what I put on. That’s what I tell Alexa to play for me.

Rhimes: I feel like that episode just always reminds me of having so much fun. That was what was really great. We had so much fun. And how much do you get to say that about just being at work?

Dane: As a cast, contrary to what some of the entertainment media might have speculated, we were all very close. We all spent a lot of time together, and a lot of that stuff felt really real to us. It was easy to access because of how we felt about each other off screen.

Raver: I just remember it being such an incredible experience, being able to work with all these incredibly talented actors and creators.

Rhimes: It’s right in my top 10 of episodes we’ve ever done.

Dane: I don’t particularly want to do it again, but I’m glad I did it.

[loveisonlyforthebrave8]

Little fluffy coda from tonight’s episode. (18/01/2021)

Callum, Ben, and Frankie have a cute movie night. 

For my gal Cally: @ballumschmallum

Callum stumbles into the living room holding two bags filled to the brim with an assortment of snacks. His smile drops the moment he makes eye contact with Ben who nods towards the snuffling girl in his arms, rubbing a hand up and down her back.

“She’s not doing great, Cal.” He whispers against her hair.

Frankie pulls away. “I can feel you talking about me,” She nudges Ben with her shoulder. “Just coz I can’t see your lips doesn’t mean I can’t feel it.”

Ben smirks back at her, caught in the act. “Yeah, well- you were in my arms when my gorgeous boyfriend walked in with a handful of snacks- had to tell him something. Don’t want him getting the wrong idea about us, eh?”

Frankie laughs, wiping the residual tears away. “Pfft,” she scoffs, “You know Callum’s more my type anyway.” She turns to give Callum a quick air kiss, which he immediately blushes at.

“Right, behave you two-” Callum coughs to cover his smile at the mock-hurt expression on Ben’s face. “I’ve got us ice-cream, crisps and dip, chocolate, popcorn- the lot. Didn’t know what you’d like so I grabbed it all.” Callum looks at them sheepishly.

Ben ruffles Frankie’s hair and stands up, makes his way over to Callum and grabs the bags from him. “Yeah, right- it was Frankie you were thinking about, yeah? Not your own insatiable sweet tooth?” He turns back to Frankie and stage whispers, “Better watch this one, he’ll eat it all before we’ve even had the chance to tuck in.” Ben winks at her and Frankie giggles, watching him walk towards the kitchen, both bags now in his possession.

Callum walks the couple of steps towards Frankie and touches her shoulder to get her attention. “I’ll be right back, yeah?” Frankie nods.

“Can I pick the film?” She yells after him, just as Callum is about to walk out of sight. He stops and swings his head around the corner to catch Frankie eyeing the TV with the remote already in her hand. He waves at her and says, “Yeah, course you can.”

When he arrives in the kitchen Ben has already laid the crisps and dips in one bowl, the chocolate in another, and then finally, the popcorn- an essential for movie night. He slides over to where Ben is scooping ice-cream into a bowl and wraps his arms around Ben’s waist, places his chin on his shoulder, and kisses him on the side of his neck. Ben hums, low and deep in the hold.

“You okay, babe?” Ben asks after a minute of comfortable silence. Callum nods into his neck, turning into him with a soft kiss to the spot just under Ben’s ear, just below his implant.

“She tell you anything while I was out?” Callum asks as Ben swivels in his arms so they’re now face to face.

“Na, started panicking over something though. Dunno what. But she looked like she needed a hug, so yours truly stepped up. And that’s when you walked in.” Ben says, moving his arms up to rest on Callum’s shoulders.  “Let’s just have a cute movie night and help her forget whatever’s going on in that head of hers, yeah? She’ll either tell us when she’s ready or she won’t.”

Callum nods solemnly but agrees. “I know you’re worried, Cal. I am too. But there ain’t anything we can do if she doesn’t wanna tell us. All we can do is be there for her. Which we are.” He turns to pick up two bowls and nods at them. “And we’ve even provided the goods.” He leans up on his tip toes and kisses Callum on the mouth, lingering sweetly, enjoying the feeling before he remembers they’ve got company, groans, and pushes away. “Now come on, you. It’s movie time.”

***

Frankie is mesmerised by the film, apparently she’s never seen it before, and she positively lights up at the big dance numbers, swoons every time Patrick Swayze comes onto screen, and when he says the well-known line she audibly squeals and turns towards Ben and Callum.

The pair are stretched out on the sofa, Ben with his head in Callum’s lap, and Callum with his arm stretched out over his torso. They both look over at the excited noise she makes with equal sized grins on their faces.

“No one puts Benny in the corner.” She giggles, pointing over at Ben with a dramatic wink. The two men chuckle back at her.

“Damn right!” Ben affirms with a fist pump. He then turns his attention up at Callum, whose smile is so bright from laughing at their idiocy that it reaches the tips of his ears. Callum notices Ben’s stare and looks down at him, leaning over and placing a salty kiss on his lips, before sitting back up and shoving another handful of popcorn in his mouth, some of it falls onto Ben’s chest and he snorts at his boyfriend’s enthusiasm.

By the time the movie is over Frankie is fast asleep, curled up on the chair. Just before they head up to bed Callum places a blanket over the sleeping woman, sighs, and moves her hair out of her eyes.

Then suddenly, before he’s even had time to blink, he’s being dragged up the stairs. “Shouldn’t we wake her up?” Callum asks. “Don’t want her to be in pain if she stays curled up like that all night. She’ll get a stiff back if she stays in that position.” He whispers frantically, stumbling up the stairs in the dark, hand firmly clutched in Ben’s.

“Stop worrying, babe. She’ll be fine. And if she does wake up she can always move to the sofa. No biggie.” He mumbles under his breath, pulling Callum into their bedroom and shutting the door as quietly as he can. “Plus, now that she’s knocked out I was sort of hoping you’d use those very talented hands of yours to help me out with my stiff-” Callum cuts him off with a kiss and pushes him none-too-gently onto the bed. Ben raises his eyebrow with a smirk.

“Shut. Up.” Callum laughs silently before descending on his insatiable boyfriend, silencing him in the only way he knows how.

[kurt-nightcrawler]

Empty Hallways

Jean Grey x Feamle Reader

Request: hi! i absolutely adore your writing- it’s incredible! also- sorry if i already sent in a request (i can’t remember if i did or not), so i’m really sorry if you’re getting another request from me lol. could you do a jean x female reader where the reader is bffs with peter and comes out to him, and jean accidentally hears it in peters mind and confesses to the reader that she likes her? sorry if that’s confusing but it would mean the world to me! thank you so much 💕💖 - @maxlikesplants

A/N: this is slightly different from the request, but I hope you do still enjoy it!

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1.4k

She got a shiver up her spine. 

It’s okay. You can do this. Peter is your best friend here, and I’m pretty sure his dad is gay… Can’t confirm that though… 

She knocked on Peter’s door. 

“Come in!” He was laying on his bed with a Pepsi on his bedside table and an Aquaman comic in his hands. 

(Y/N) stepped inside the room and shut the door behind her. 

“Hey, (Y/N),” He said barely looking up from his comic. “What’s kickin’?”

“Um… Can you put the comic book down? I need to tell you something.”

“Yeah, of course.” He sat up and paid attention to her. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m gay.” 

Peter blinked. He didn’t say anything. 

Oh God… he's not saying anything… what do I do?!

“Okay.” 

“Okay? Aren’t you like, surprised, or something?”

“Do you want me to be surprised?”

(Y/N) sat down on the bed. 

“No.” 

“Okay.”

She nodded. A wave of relief washed over her, coaxing some of her stress away. 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“How did you… know?” He hesitated, almost as if he asked the wrong thing. 

“Oh, um… well, I never really had crushes on boys and whenever people made jokes about us one-day dating, I felt weird. And not in a good way.” 

“Yeah, I didn’t really like the jokes either…” 

“Plus, you’re totally in love with that girl at the coffee shop. What’s her name again?” She teased, pretending to think about what her name was, despite the fact she already knew. “Callie?... I think it was—“

“Her name is Crystal.” 

“Crystal! Right…” (Y/N) smirked. “And you’ve yet to speak to her.”

“I have spoken to her!”

“Peter… you always make me tell her your order. You just awkwardly stand there and fidget or zoom off and get a table or hide in the bathroom.” 

“Shut up!” He huffed. 

(Y/N) held her hands up defensively, “I call it like I see it.”

“Whatever,” He reached over and took a sip from his Pepsi can. “I bet you have a crush on someone.” 

“I do, actually…” She awkwardly admitted. 

“Who?”

“Jean.” 

—

Jean had gotten back from the mall with a few friends, bags in her hands. She got a new swimsuit and a record from a band she knew (Y/N) liked. 

“I’m gonna put my stuff away and find (Y/N).” 

“I don’t know why you got her a gift. It’s not her birthday or anything,” Scott stated. 

“It’s because we’re friends and I’m doing something nice for her,” Jean argued. 

“Sure it’s not because you have a crush and wanna impress her?” Scott teased, eyebrows raised questioning Jean. 

Jean squinted her eyes at him, tempted to punch him in the gut. 

“I’m just teasing. Besides, she and Peter will get together eventually.” 

“Mmm…” Jean pursed her lips. “I don’t think so.” 

“You’ve been reading their minds or something?” 

“No, it’s just a certain vibe they both give off… like Kurt and Jubilee, kind of.” 

It has nothing to do with the fact I’m hoping (Y/N) might be into me…

“If you say so.” 

Jean headed up the stairs to the dorms, leaving Scott behind. 

She walked down halls passing other dorms and communal showers, before stopping in her tracks, feeling a presence. 

She felt someone’s thoughts— they were loud and unclear. Jean couldn’t tell who they were at first, so she tried to get inside the person’s head. 

Who is this? Are they okay? 

“Peter won’t judge you. He can’t… he’s your best friend!”

It was (Y/N). Talking to Peter. 

I shouldn’t intrude… Jean let her mental grip go from (Y/N), and kept walking down the hall. Whatever (Y/N) had to tell Peter was none of her business. 

She even passed by Peter’s room— the door was shut, but she could hear him talking to (Y/N). 

She wasn’t tuning them out completely, but she’d be a liar if she said she wasn’t curious and listened to them for a moment. 

“I bet you have a crush on someone.” 

“I do, actually…”

“Who?”

“Jean.” 

Jean dropped her bags in shock, falling to the floor with them. She couldn’t believe it, she had to have misheard (Y/N). 

—

(Y/N) and Peter both heard something fall outside. “I’ll go see what it was.”

(Y/N) got up and opened the door. 

She saw Jean on the floor, her bags surrounding her. 

“Jean!”

Jean’s gaze shot up to (Y/N). 

“Oh, uh!” 

“Here, let me help…” (Y/N) grabbed one of the bags, glancing at what was inside. 

“The Human League? I love them!”

Jean blushed, somewhat embarrassed that you caught her with it. “Actually I— I got it for you.” 

“What?” Her eyes were wide with shock and confusion. “Why? My birthday isn’t coming up and this probably cost you a fortune— you really shouldn’t have.”

“Cause I know you like them?” She really didn’t have a better reason. 

“Jean…” God, she’s so fucking sweet… and thoughtful… 

“Well, actually, I… I heard you talking to Peter.”

“What?” Jean flinched at her tone. (Y/N) didn’t mean to come off poorly. 

“I heard you tell Peter you like me.” 

“Jean, I’m so sorry—“

“Don’t. She pleaded softly. “Don’t apologize.” 

“You probably think I’m some weirdo now or something. Thanks for the gift, but you should just return it or something, I don’t deserve it.” (Y/N) handed Jean the bag with the vinyl in it. Their hands touched for a moment, and Jean grabbed on to (Y/N)’s. 

“I like you too.”

“Really?” 

“Yeah, I’ve liked you for a while, now.” 

“Oh…” 

(y/n) felt her heart pounding in her chest. This was like the climax of a rom-com. 

Jean nodded, “Yeah… So, uh, here.” She gave the bag with the vinyl in it back to (Y/N).

“Thank you…” 

“It’s nothing, really…” Jean’s eyes nervously avoided (Y/N)’s gaze. 

“No really, thank you. I’ll uh repay you somehow—“

“No!” Jean spoke more softly the second time. “No, I mean, don’t. It’s a gift, you don’t have to repay me.” 

“Okay…” (Y/N)’s voice was a whisper. 

“Would you want to—“

Peter opened the door and burst through, having lost his patience. “Hey, (Y/N) what’s going on?” 

She quickly snapped her head in his direction and tried to shoo him away. 

“Peter—“

“Ahh…” He immediately understood when he saw Jean standing close to her. 

“I think Kurt needed me. I’m gonna go! Have fun! Use protection and all that jazz!” 

“But Kurt’s out of town.”

“Exactly! Bye!” He zoomed off in a silver blur, leaving the two girls behind. 

“So…” 

“Um…” Both girls looked down at their hands— Jean was still holding (Y/N)’s hand. 

“Oh!”

“Sorry,” She quickly let go. 

(Y/N) missed the contact. “You’re okay… Um… would you…” (Y/N) struggled to speak, nervous. 

Jean already knew what the girl wanted to ask before she even said anything. 

“I’d love to go out on a date with you.”

“Seriously!?” Jean nodded. “Oh— oh, wow. Uh, great.”

Jean smiled, “Great!”

“Yeah!” (Y/N) couldn’t believe what had happened. It all felt like a hazy dream. 

Jean, knowing her thoughts, still got a bit nervous about everything. 

“Well, I’m gonna go and put my stuff in my room. Shower and get changed— we can go out tonight if you’d like?”

(Y/N) nodded, “Sounds perfect.”

Jean turned away to head to her room. 

“Wait!” 

She turned around and glanced at (Y/N). “What?”

(Y/N) stepped forward, shrinking the space between them. 

“Can… Never mind…” she dismissed the thought. 

“No, tell me. what is it?”

“I can’t. It’s embarrassing…” 

“No, clearly it’s important… Tell me,” She pleaded. 

(Y/N) took Jean’s hand and brought it to her temple, giving consent to read her mind. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Jean blinked, looking into (Y/N)’s eyes, in awe of what she wanted. 

“Jean…”

Jean nodded, her voice soft, “Yeah.” 

(Y/N) quickly pressed her lips against Jean’s. 

Jean tilted her head slightly to the left, as to not collide their noses together. 

The kiss was short-lived but still sweet. Jean tasted like cherries and mint gum. 

“I’ll see you later then.” (Y/N) awkwardly stated. 

“Yeah,” Jean nervously chuckled. 

She quickly pecked (Y/N)’s cheek, before bidding her goodbye and heading to her room. 

“Bye,” (Y/N) let out in a whispered tone when Jean was out of range. She clutched her cheek with her hand, heart swooning over the beautiful redhead she’d soon get to call hers. 

[redslilstories]

Mommy time

Author: lilyme (aka. redslilstories aka. me ;)) Summary: Today had been the first day Arizona had taken care of Baby Sofia alone. And Callie couldn't wait to see how the day had gone. Just a little one-shot for Mother's Day. Characters: Callie/Arizona Rating: PG Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Grey's Anatomy". They were created by Shonda Rhimes and belong to her and the ABC network. No copyright infringement intended! All mistakes are mine.

Callie put her ear to the door, and tried to listen to what was going on behind it. But not a sound was to be heard.

And she did not know if that was a good sign or a bad one.

As softly as possible she opened the door to her apartment. Curious to see in what condition she would find it in.

Anything from the eerily silent aftermath of a destructive tornado to a happy companionable cuddle party on the couch was possible.

Today had been the first day her wife Arizona had taken care of their four month-old Sofia by herself.

Until recently they had always had at least a double routine looking after their daughter. Initially with Mark and Arizona both taking time off, since Callie as well had still needed some assistance during her recovery from the car crash. Then up until the wedding those two had taken turns staying home with Callie and their girl.

Last week had been Mark's big week. The first week he was alone with baby Sofia throughout the day while Callie eased her way back into work and Arizona operated on the kids Alex had had flown in from Malawi.

And to say the man's week had been... chaotic at times was an understatement. While he played it cool whenever bringing their baby to the hospital to have the nurses swoon over her and told everyone how smooth parenting was going for him, his apartment told a different story.

Mark was a tidy man, but in that short span of a few days his flat had been turned upside town. And he hadn't gotten much sleep either.

But overall he had told them that we was really happy about his one on one quality time with his daughter.

So now Callie couldn't wait to see how Arizona's first day went and what she would report.

Making a step into the apartment she was surprised about the limited amount of disorder. A few baby bottles stood on the coffee table, a heap of dirty clothes, most belonging to Arizona, sat on the floor near their bedroom door, and a few toys, rattles and plushies, were strewn about here and there.

All in all... it seemed Arizona had everything pretty much under control.

"Hi," she softly called out to the blonde who stood folding a blanket she had used to snuggle up under with Sofia on the couch.

"Hey," Arizona turned towards Callie to receive a welcome kiss and a gentle hug in greeting.

Arizona looked good. A bit tired but good, the brunette noted. Her hair was in a messy bun and she obviously had by now resorted to some shabbier clothes that weren't in danger of formula or vomit ruining them. But Callie was undeniably attracted to her anyway.

Callie observed the happy smile tugging at the woman's lips. An expression she often found now that they were married and also parents to the most adorable girl in the world. And whenever thinking about this, Callie felt the same sentiment invade her features. "Is Sofia asleep already?" she wondered due to the lack of the aforementioned adorable baby in the living room.

"Yeah," Arizona sighed, a little wistfulness with a lot of relief mixed in her voice. "I managed to get her to sleep half an hour ago".

Callie giggled. True. It wasn't always that easy to get her to sleep. Or get her to sleep for longer than a couple of hours at a time. "I'm gonna check for a moment, okay?" she returned, going in for another kiss.

"Sure," Arizona nodded with a smirk, knowing Callie longed for her daily baby dosage.

Even if that only consisted of combing her fingers through the soft, barely there baby hair and kissing her sleeping daughter's cheek, she needed this to end her day. And Callie did just that.

"Night, baby," she whispered as she exited Sofia's room again after a few minutes of watching the tiny human sleep contently.

She headed into the bedroom where Arizona had disappeared into.

"We're good, she's still asleep," she informed, barely catching a glimpse of Arizona, as this one maneuvered the heap of dirty clothes into the hamper in the bathroom.

"Good," Arizona reciprocated, walking back into the other room where Callie was getting ready to change into something more comfy, having already worked her boots off her feet. "I'm gonna clean up the living room a bit. Are you hungry? I can make you something..."

She stopped as Callie shook her head with a smile.

"I'm good, thanks." The brunette held out her hand to signal her to stay. "Come here a minute, sweetie," she ordered and let herself sink down to lay on her back on the bed, waiting for her wife to snuggle up with her.

She could see the blonde had worked herself all day and deserved at least a few moments of rest.

Arizona readily accepted the invitation, placed the baby phone on the bed and cuddled into the embrace the brunette provided. Callie really gave the best snuggles on any person in the world, as far as she was concerned. "Mmmm, this is nice," she purred, positioning the other woman's arm around her shoulder and entwining their fingers.

"Mm," Callie readily agreed as she enjoyed the closeness of Arizona's body. "Tell me about your day. How'd it go?"

"Well, um," the blonde pondered where to begin her tale, "I've been pooped on and spit on twice today," she chuckled at the earlier mishaps. "And we made a scene in the check-out-line at the grocery store because it simply took too long for her liking." She had nearly performed a rain dance to calm the grouching girl strapped onto her chest. To no avail. "But we played a lot too. She literally never gets tired of peekaboo. And I never get tired of watching her smile," she reported as an actual yawn escaped her. Never getting tired of baby smiles was one thing. But that didn't mean never getting tired at all. Yet summing it up, she could really say she has had one of the best days of her life.

Callie smiled at the potpourri of events and emotions going on. She really couldn't wait for it to be her solo turn, but at the same time she was a bit scared.

"Oh, and she doesn't like her fennel tea," Arizona added and informed her wife of a more difficult topic. She really wanted Sofia to drink it because it was good for all sorts of ailments a tiny body could have.

"Hm, just like her mommy," Callie snickered and squeezed Arizona's hand nestled in hers.

"Hm?" the blonde wondered.

"Your mom told me about your ability to smell fennel through the bottle as a baby. Little Arizona never opened her mouth to that either".

"Right, okay," Arizona laughed. "So, she's got this from me," she accepted rather proudly.

"Yeah, we'll just blame you," Callie joked. "Any plans for tomorrow?"

"I'm thinking...," Arizona yawned once more. "I'm thinking about taking her to the park. Watch some duckies and doggies," she suggested. "But that might me more for me than for her."

"That sounds nice, regardless," Callie agreed. She knew that Arizona did not only like chicken, but all sorts of animals.

"Anyway, how did your day go?" the blonde wondered, looking up at her wife. Callie was slowly taking up work again, and Arizona knew she was very excited about the new challenges and was eager to share.

"It was great," Callie responded. "I worked with Hunt and Webber on a patient who had fallen from a scaffold fourteen feet. Ruptured spleen, broken collar bone, both arms broken in several places. It didn't look good. He almost died on us twice," she cringed, "but we saved him. Webber could even save his spleen. We'll see how the next days will go. Little Grey is watching his vitals," she concluded, despite everything actually satisfied with the man's outlook. "Oh, and you won't believe what Bailey told me".

She waited for a response of interest from her partner... but it didn't come.

She frowned and looked down to where... Arizona had fallen asleep. With her head on her shoulder and her body heaving relaxed breaths.

In the end obviously entirely exhausted by her first solo mommy day.

Callie smiled lovingly and kissed the top of her head, "Night, mommy," she whispered.

And as she realized that Arizona's position made it impossible for her to get up without disturbing the deserved sleep of her wife, she decided that maybe getting some sleep herself was not the worst idea.

END

[niall-is-my-dream]

You & Me - Part Twelve

2440 words

Callie's POV

You stayed in Niall's bedroom for an hour after Kim and Sam had left. Curled up with each other on his bed, kissing, talking and kissing some more. Both of you agreed that you couldn't let everything that was happening with Saskia come between you. 

Niall had done nothing wrong, they'd dated, he decided to end it and he told her straight and kindly. He didn't ghost her or behave rudely to her, in fact you thought he had been too nice to her over the last few months. When she had turned up at rehearsals and at the Dublin gig, he had been polite to her, even when she was screaming at him for ending it. He had been verbally abused by her on numerous occasions and had taken it.

To say it broke your heart at how much it was affecting him was an understatement. His album was to be released in less than a month, he had interviews and performances to do. But he was a true professional and wasn't going to let it effect the buzz he was feeling at finally sharing his 18 months of hard work.

After the stress of the meeting with Kim and Sam, the group decided to chill out at home for Bex and Willie's last day in L.A. Although Saskia wasn't a physical threat to either of you, you were still worried about him, Mully and Willie going to the grocery store to get some supplies for a bbq.

"We will be fine." He said, as he ran his hands up and down your arms reassuringly before leaning in and kissing you goodbye.

He had been warned that although the court order prevented her from being near him, that didn't mean that she hadn't tipped off other paps to follow him with the prospect of an exclusive. Niall had a strict policy of never talking about his dating life. He was here to be a musician and talk about his music and interests, not his love life.

With the lads gone and the security gate and front door securely locked, you made your way through to the kitchen.  You were desperate to talk to Bex alone, she was always the voice of reason.

Making another coffee for you both, you sat down at the kitchen table, the patio doors open letting the lunchtime sun in.

"So the shit hit the fan then!" Bex said trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah it fucking did!" You laughed. "Honestly you couldn't even make this shit up."

"Only in Hollywood hey?!"

You nodded before taking a sip of your coffee.

"How are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm actually ok. I'm obviously sad and shocked that it's happened but I'm also angry. Like how could she do this to him? I just....... He's an amazing guy and she's ruining him all because he wasn't interested in her anymore."

"I actually feel sorry for her." Bex said and your head shot up. "Hear me out ok?" And you nodded. "These models are told how to look constantly, they work out a lot, they're constantly on a diet. I doubt her mental health is good because of it."

"I guess. She was just so rude and shallow, she thought a lot of herself."

"Yeah and that's what she is use to in the world in which she lives in. It's sad really, I mean does she even have a good set of friends. You and I are lucky we have each other you know? Does she have that? Someone to rely on? I doubt it. It's all fake."

"Doesn't excuse her awful behaviour though? I mean who texts someone and says she's going to ruin them?!"

"Doesn't excuse her behaviour at all. Please don't think I'm sticking up for her or trying to justify her actions. I'm just saying her way of life is very different to ours. Being ahead of the game and ruthless is something she's use to. She probably didn't even batter an eyelid when she messaged him that. Is he doing ok?"

"He says he is but I think it's really got to him. He's worried about telling his parents, he hates worrying them. Plus I need to tell my parents, God I haven't even told them we are dating, now I have to tell them this too. They aren't going to be happy."

 "I'd be more worried about Tom." She replied.

You ran your hand down your face and let out a massive sigh at the prospect of telling your older brother that not only had you got involved with Niall, which he had told you not to do. But you also had to tell him that Niall's crazy ex was stalking you both.

 "Maybe you should make sure that Claire is with him when you tell him." She smiled.

 "Oh God yeah, Claire needs to be there. Think I'll Skype my parents now actually before it gets too late." You said looking at the clock on the wall.

"Ok, well go in the living room and I'll be just in here if you need me."

"Thanks hun."

You were shitting it if you were being honest. You set up your iPad on the coffee table and sat down on Niall's big arse sofa. What was with this boy and his massive sofas? You knew your Mum would be reading on her iPad like she always did in the evening, so would see the request for a Skype call. Within seconds of calling she had answered.

"Hi baby girl!" She said excitedly. "How are you?"

"Hi Mum, I'm good. How are you?"

"Oh you know, same old. What about you? You've got a few days break haven't you? Where are you, in LA?"

You had given your parents a schedule of where you would be while you were away, even adding the time difference for them. Your Mum had panicked one time when you were in Canada for a show with another artist and she had forgotten the time difference. She couldn't work out why it took you 5 hours to reply to her text. You had been asleep in bed, as it was night time there.

"Um is Dad there? Want to talk to you both."

"Yeah he is, hang on." She said before the screen showed the artex ceiling as she made her way over to the sofa where your Dad was sitting.

He waved and blew you a kiss. You were a Daddy's girl, even at 25 your Dad still blew you a kiss when you skyped.

"Hi Dad."

"Hey sweetheart, everything ok?"

"Yeah, I just need to talk to you about something."

You told them that you and Niall had started seeing each other and their eyes widened. They hadn't been expecting that. When you told them about what was happening with Saskia, your Dad took off his glasses and sighed. He ran his hand down his face just like you had done in the kitchen not so long ago.

"So there's a restraining order, so she can't come near you or Niall?" Your Mum asked, her voice laced with worry.

"It'll be just to prevent her from coming near him, but it'll protect me and other crew members since we are all together on tour."

"What about the break next month, when you come home?"

"I'll be with Niall for a lot of that anyway Mum. Look, she's not going to hurt us. She's just not happy that he ended things and wants to make out that he cheated on her with me."

"And did he?" Your dad asked.

"No!" You replied shocked that he had asked you outright.

"Paul!" Mum gasped.

"I had to ask, you've been working with him for what ten months and nothing has happened until recently?"

You internally cringed at having this conversation with your parents.

"Yes, we have always just been good friends. He was single for a few months before we got together."

"So she's just jealous? This is just because she got dumped?" Mum asked.

"Pretty much."

"Wow, she sounds a little bit crazy." Dad said shaking his head.

"She is." You replied.

You heard the front door open, the sound of the lads chatting as they entered the house. Looking up you could see Niall place his bag on the ground and make his way over to you.

"I'm just on Skype with my parents." You said looking at him.

He nodded and came and sat next to you.

"Hi." He said nervously. He hadn't a clue what you'd said or what their reaction had been.

"Hi Niall." Your mum said. Your Dad just nodded, but smiled.

"So I've told them what's been happening." You explained to him.

"Ah." He replied, nodding. You could tell he was nervous. He cleared his throat before continuing. "I'm sorry that I have put your daughter in this position. I had no idea that Saskia was capable of this behaviour. I care about Callie a lot and...... " he paused for a moment. "Hopefully my legal team will be able to prevent her from coming near us and from publishing pictures of us going about our day to day stuff."

"Niall, we are sorry to hear that you've been going through this. Callie said that this girl has been harassing you for weeks. Your family must be worried." Your Mum said, that clear protective motherly tone coming through.

"I called them while I was out actually. My Mam is coming over to London when we get back for a few days to stay with me. They both know I've got a good team who look after me."

"Maybe we could meet you in person, if you have time while you're back?"

Oh god.

"I'd love that. I'll check our schedule and maybe we could all have dinner together at mine." He replied and took your hand in his.

Your Mum was definitely won over by him, she practically swooning at his offer to cook for you all. You could see your Dad ticking everything over in his head.

You ended the call not long after. Closing the iPad and placing it flat on the coffee table, throwing yourself backwards you landed on the sofa and let out a massive sigh of relief.

"They took that pretty well. My Mam freaked out, she's insisted on coming to London."

"Yeah they weren't too bad were they? Sorry they asked to meet you."

"Why are you sorry?" He replied as he crawled up the length of your body and settled himself between your legs. 

"Just a big thing isn't it, meeting the parents?"

"Should I not have invited them to dinner to meet my Mam to?" He asked as he leaned down to kiss your neck.

"Mmmm, you know talking about our parents whilst your kissing my neck and rubbing your erection against me is weird."

He laughed against your neck, but carried on regardless. You pushed your hands up through his hair and across the nape of his neck. 

"The things you do to me." He mumbled as he rubbed himself against you again.

"For fuck sake you two!" Willie smirked as he walked in the living room. "Get a room!"

"This is a room, in my own house!" Niall said, as he turned his head towards Willie.

Willie just laughed. "Come and get the bbq going you daft twat, there's plenty of time for that later." Before he left the room and headed towards the kitchen you presumed.

"We will finish this later Petal." He said smirking, before standing up and adjusting himself in his shorts.

You all changed into swimwear and grabbed some towels. The lads had brought a pop up football net at the grocery store, along with all the food you would need for the bbq. Niall had got it lit, leaving it to warm up while yourself and Bex got some salad ready in the kitchen.

It seemed almost crazy how easily the whole Saskia fiasco was forgotten as you consumed bbq food that afternoon and played games. Willie and Bex were due to get picked up at 8:30 that night ready for an overnight flight back to London Heathrow.

You always worried about her while you were away. Yes, she had other friends that she spent time with and a busy job, but you two were close. It felt good knowing that she had started dating Willie. While the lads tried to header the ball in the goal before falling in the pool with a splash, you and Bex had a catch up about her and Willie. Things had already got quite serious in the short space of time that they'd been together, similar to you and Niall. They text everyday and saw each other as much as their work schedules would allow. You could see how smitten they were with each other.

When it came to say goodbye to her that evening, you both cried like you always did. However it would only be just over a week before you could see her again back in England.

Over the course of the next few days Niall had a number of interviews and meetings for the album release next month. You kept yourself busy by going to the gym that Mark had recommended to you. Kicking the shit out of the punch bag always made you feel better. You didn't worry about feeling unsafe, it didn't even cross your mind, but Mully insisted on coming with you wherever you went.

With the Mexico leg of the tour cancelled due to an awful earthquake, you only had the Rio show to do before a 3 week break from tour. This was going to be a busy three weeks though with the album release and various interviews and performances. 

Niall was on form in Rio, the troubles of what had happened with Saskia over the last few months were firmly locked away and forgotten.

The legal stuff went through without a hitch, she hadn't contacted him and no stories had appeared in the press. 

Flying back to london after the show had felt good. Niall had a golf event to attend in Scotland which meant you had a few free days to spend with Bex and Willie playing the third wheel. It also meant it gave you chance to catch up with your brother and sister in law. You'd asked your Mum and Dad not to mention you and Niall to him, as you wanted to tell him face to face. You were not looking forward to it.

Part Thirteen

https://niall-is-my-dream.tumblr.com/post/183397925828/you-me-part-thirteen

[loving-villanelle]

the way carina and arizona look at each other is just

They are pretty cute together. The difference is that I don’t know enough about Carina to be invested in her as a person. With Calzona, I knew and loved Callie and Arizona as individuals and as a couple. With Carina, she seems like a good person but given that we know next to nothing about her, what I really like about her is how much she likes Arizona. She isn’t shy about showing her feelings and letting Arizona know that she cares and I LOVE seeing Arizona’s reactions to that. I think it’s been awhile since she has felt valued and wanted (especially given her recent speech about feeling like everybody always leaves her, etc.) so I’m just glad that she has found someone that gives her butterflies again and makes her smile and who isn’t too hard on the eyes either!

[anitabyars]

★★ BRAND NEW RELEASE ★★

From New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Sawyer Bennett comes a new story in her Arizona Vengeance series…

RAFE by Sawyer Bennett is available now!

✔️Kindle: https://amzn.to/32ONFEh

➣ Watch the book trailer: https://bit.ly/35axv9X

➣ Follow Sawyer Bennett on Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/sawyer-bennett

-------

I was living my dream until one phone call changed everything.

As the second line center for the Arizona Vengeance, my mind has been on one thing—helping my team bring home a championship. But that all changed when I found out my dad had cancer and only months to live. In that moment, nothing mattered more than getting home to North Carolina to be by his side. That meant asking for the unthinkable—a trade to the Carolina Cold Fury.

Now I’m home and when I’m not on the ice with my new team, I’m helping care for my dad. And in the midst of my grief, I find comfort from the one person I never expected.

Calliope Ramirez stole my heart at a very young age. The beautiful, smart, headstrong girl next door, she was my first… everything. She has never forgiven me for leaving her, believing that I chose hockey over a future together. What she doesn’t understand is that every decision I made was for her, and I’ve never given up hope that one day we’d be together again.

Watching my dad slip away is a harsh reminder of how short life can be, and having Calliope by my side makes me realize I was a damn fool before. That changes starting right now. Calliope Ramirez is mine and I’m not going to waste the second chance that I’ve been given.

**Every 1001 Dark Nights novella is a standalone story. For new readers, it’s an introduction to an author’s world. And for fans, it’s a bonus book in the author’s series. We hope you'll enjoy each one as much as we do.**

------------------------

About the author:

Since the release of her debut contemporary romance novel, Off Sides, in January 2013, Sawyer Bennett has released multiple books, many of which have appeared on the New York Times, USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestseller lists.

A reformed trial lawyer from North Carolina, Sawyer uses real life experience to create relatable, sexy stories that appeal to a wide array of readers. From new adult to erotic contemporary romance, Sawyer writes something for just about everyone.

Sawyer likes her Bloody Marys strong, her martinis dirty, and her heroes a combination of the two. When not bringing fictional romance to life, Sawyer is a chauffeur, stylist, chef, maid, and personal assistant to a very active daughter, as well as full-time servant to her adorably naughty dogs. She believes in the good of others, and that a bad day can be cured with a great work-out, cake, or even better, both.

Sawyer also writes general and women’s fiction under the pen name S. Bennett and sweet romance under the name Juliette Poe.

Connect with her:

Website: https://sawyerbennett.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bennettbooks

Twitter: https://twitter.com/bennettbooks

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sawyerbennett123/

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6950682.Sawyer_Bennett

Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/sawyer-bennett

EXCERPT

I swing open the door, eager to see Mrs. Filmore because she’s an excellent baker, but am stunned stupid when I see Rafe standing there with two grocery bags in hand.

I left him at his parents’ house not more than an hour and a half ago. There was no kiss goodbye, only a promise to call me later. I didn’t know what to—or if I should—read into that. The kiss would have implied some lingering affection; the lack of implying the sex was a one-time-only thing, and perhaps a mistake. Yet the promise to call spoke to wanting to see me again. Or maybe we’d just go back to being tentative friends.

Ugh. So confusing. In the moment, the only thing I can think to say is, “What are you doing here?”

“I missed you, too,” he replies with a sly grin, pushing his way into my apartment.

“Why don’t you come on in?” I mutter sarcastically and close the door, noting how good he smells as he passes me. “But, seriously...why are you here?”

Rafe takes a moment to survey my small apartment and then moves into the kitchen. He holds up the grocery bags. “I thought we could hang. I brought all the makings for tacos, and we can watch movies or something. Really great apartment, by the way. It’s totally you.”

I pad across the small living area and rest my forearms on the counter that separates it from the kitchen. He starts unloading the bags—ground beef, lettuce, tomatoes, a six-pack of beer.

“Dad’s sleeping, and Mom’s doing some spring cleaning,” he explains as he moves to put the items in my fridge. “She shooed me out of the house, and I thought we could hang.”

“Hang?” I ask skeptically. What does that even mean?

And then it dawns on me.

“Oh,” I drawl in amusement. “You want sex again?”

Rafe pops straight up, looking at me over the refrigerator door, his eyebrows raised in surprise. “You offering?”

“Um,” I reply, unsure of myself.

He grins at me. “As much as you totally rocked my world today at the pond, Poppy, I really just thought we could hang out. Get to know each other again.”

My eyebrows draw inward, and I’m more confused now than ever. I rocked his world? Really?

Why I flush with pride is beyond me, but what makes a girl feel good is what makes a girl feel good.

Rafe shuts the fridge and moves around the kitchen counter to me. He takes my hand in his, covers it with his other, and brings them to his chest, his expression somber. “I know I can’t possibly hope for you to understand what I did to you eight years ago, and I know it’s likely a lot of wishful thinking that you could forgive me completely. But right now, we reconnected, and I want to see where this goes. Today with you has been the best day since I found out about my dad. I guess I just want more of it.”

My Review

5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I devoured Rafe. This sexy hockey hunk made me swoon and oh my heart went out to him when he requested a trade to Cold Fury from the Arizona Vengeance, so he could be close to his dying father in Dominik. So I knew this was going to be emotional but...what I didn’t know is, what else was there when he got home. Rafe left his best friend since birth, his first kiss, his first girlfriend his first everything. And she was and still is Pissed!

Calliope Ramirez has been close to Rafe’s family her whole life. After Rafe left her behind eight years ago to pursue his hockey career, she went on to pursue her dreams of becoming a nurse. Callie has been helping Rafe’s parents deal with his cancer. And although she has hated Rafe since he dumped her all those years ago, she is there to also help him understand what to expect and what is going on.

But when Rafe returns and sees Callie, his Pro hockey career fades, along with all the women he dated, and all the money he has made becomes unimportant. It time for him to not take a single moment for granted. Because the truth is he has carried a torch for her all these years. But when he wants to build a relationship with her, Callie isn’t willing to put her heart on the line again.

And Wow, what hurt and lost time for these two who had loved each other since they were young. When you read it your heart will literally drop and you will get so angry. But there’s hope for these two as the love, the chemistry, that hot, panty-dropping heat is still there and I was literally flying through the pages because I just couldn’t get enough of them. Will they fall in love again? Grab this book to find out.

Received an early copy in exchange for an honest review.

[latinalesbi]

there was no Danny Nucci name in the opening, right ? They fanally decided to get rid of him... ? It's funny I thought "no Mike means no Ana"... but you know, Gabe is there so they can hang out in Stef and Lena's house while they are not there.

Correct. I have been suspecting this might be the case for a while. His time has been cut each and every season. Last couple, he’s been on as much as other side characters. I do think that Freeform’s budget has really cut his time down as they extend into season 5. He also was not in the cast pictures. I believe that they cut the money and insisted on one less regular. I think letting Danny direct is a concession to the fact that he is no longer a regular. There is an outside possibility that Mike leaves at some point. Or maybe he’ll be listed as a regular on the episodes he is in.

Anonymous said:                                                                      It’s completely horrifying to see how much wasted screen time Ana and Gabe took on last nights episode! Babies! They say there and cried and complained like two immature toddlers! And where was Mike? Shouldn’t Ana be with him? Then Gabe trying to act like the hero for helping Jesús! Bull-hockey! They don’t belong in the show at all. In fact, it’s so hard to watch their scenes and it’s almost as if I should wait until the next day to fast forward thru them. I agree with you 100%!            

It’s like they’re 20 years old instead of the middle aged people they should be. I guess maybe immature people are into that, but I am not. Babies. And Gabe acting as if it’s some big huge burden that he gets to live in a nice home for fucking free. I wonder if they’re buying his beer. Probably Jesus steals from Lena so Gabe can have his beer. Ana is so thirsty for Gabe. I mean really. There was no need for her to be all up his ass at their house. Why was she there? If I was Mike I wouldn’t like that at all. If you want to arise jealousy, don’t act a fool. I should have waited, but I really wanted to see the promo and well ugh. Thanks for your thoughts!

Anonymous said:                                                                      I know Jesus is sick or whatever but I’m also sick of him. I’m tired of him yelling at Lena. And Gabe is all cool with him he doesn’t say anything and now what, Lena is going to be the bad guy because she’s actually parenting HER son ? what happened to her being the mom the kids went to ?            

Here’s the thing, like I’ve always said. I would take care of my aging mom (dad’s dead) till the end with pretty much any disease, except if they had dementia and were trying to hurt me. No one deserves abuse. If a condition is causing irrational behavior it has to be treated. I saw a real life show where a man had a stroke and changed his personality so much he ended up murdering his wife, his adult daughter and his grandchild. It’s no joke and Jesus, intentionally or not, is going to hurt Lena. I see Lena running towards Jesus and Brandon fighting, it’s not going to end well.

And sure Gabe was effective this time because he’ just about the only person physically able to stop him. That isn’t a solution. Emma can’t possibly deal with him like that. So what Gabe did is not a solution. Lena is right as always, he needs to be able to manage or he can’t live with them. It’s just that simple.

                                                                                                    Anonymous said:                                                                      As for the writers being ridiculed? LMAO! I write and am ridiculed! It comes with the territory, and honestly, they are practically turning a deaf ear to the audience! This show should have ended in season 1 because that season was where it was truly at!            

Honestly, what’s the point of asking how people are feeling and to discuss the show if all you actually want an echo chamber of how amazing the show is? Don’t ask for opinions if you don’t like them. They aren’t turning a deaf ear to their audience, just a certain segment. I can’t say that I would have liked the show to have ended in s1. I just wish that in what could possibly be their final year, they would focus on their main characters. This was essentially a Gabe and Ana episode and that’s wrong. No matter how you slice it. Even when they have done that for Girl’s united, I could at least say, well they really haven’t had a voice. Gabe’s woes are like the stuff of every tv show novel. Daddy regret. Heck we’ve had enough of that with Mike.

Anonymous said:                                                                      This is fast becoming about how two moms can’t raise their 5 kids and need help! I’m pretty sure, “It takes a village,” isn’t referring to bio humans helping the parents! UGHHHHHH

I always make this point, you never see biological families needing the local homosexual for some nice homosexual bonding with their children. No, it doesn’t take a village, most of the time out there in the real world, it often just takes one mom.    

Anonymous said:                                                                      I’m really, really tired of the show acting like Gabe, Ana or Robert do or should have any say in decisions made about the kids. Mariana, Jesus and Callie are quite literally Stef & Lena’s kids. They don’t need anyone’s permission to parent their kids. Honestly, I worried we’d end up here when the show had Robert constantly making a point of calling Callie “his” daughter as if she wasn’t Stef & Lena’s and the show never acknowledged that was wrong of him. I didn’t think it would be this bad tho.             

They all think they have a say because they put their penis in a vagina. That’s all Gabe did. He can be there in whatever capacity Jesus and his moms allow, but he doesn’t get to dictate. For people who don’t understand how Callie could choose her moms over her rich bio daddy. Lena took one look in her eyes, saw her soul and took her home, straight from Juvy. Stef saw her value after just like a day. Bio daddy needed a DNA test to even see if he wanted to get invested. Tell me which connection would feel more real to you? No worries though, in case you missed it, Robert is right there disciplining Callie, though I am sure he takes a crack at Stef and Lena’s parenting.      

Anonymous said:                                                                      I love The Fosters, but I can’t get over how much I hated tonight’s episode. The unnecessary focus on Ana and Gabe totally contradicts what’s supposed to be the message of this show (that love makes a family, not DNA). It struck me as disrespectful. The idea that Lena and Stef aren’t enough for their own kids? Who they raised? Nah. I’m equal parts mad (the idea that Jesus needs a man is offensive, full stop) and confused (who asked for this?). Have TPTB forgotten the premise of their own show?            

Yeah, it wasn’t just like their point of view, it was entirely their episode. It is disrespectful to lesbian moms in particular. Here’s the thing, I don’t know where they are going with this. Even if they have a point to make, the visuals have already been made. You’ll have tons of people swooning over Jesus’ dad. The only thing I liked in an interview with Noah, was him saying biological father, instead of the “dad” the insensitive interviewer kept using. These visuals, these words will be the ones that stick with the people, and there are many, who think lesbians can’t raise kids without male role models.

Anonymous said:                                                                      The worst thing is that the episodes are already done. Even if we tell Bradley or Peter that Gabe being around in Stef and Lena’s house is wrong , it’s too late. And I think that the worst is yet to come. I knew I wasn’t going to like the first episode but I didn’t know it was going to be like this the whole 5A part. I can’t stand Jesus anymore.                               

Well, they supposedly change the tone next episode, but we will see. I still see this show as too depressing and too unhappy. The dykes can’t just raise their kids and be happy in a family, it has to be constant misery. I think the worse is yet to come too. I am going to try to ignore Gabe, but that’s going to be hard.  And yes, I can’t stand Jesus anymore either. It’s not even the TBI, he was already aggressive and drooling over his daddy before that.

Anonymous said:                                                                      How do people know Stef is going to cuddle with another woman? I get they need drama to keep the show interesting but Stef would never do that.  

Ahh, yes, no, we don’t know that. I think there was a misunderstanding. We are saying, Tess is the woman Stef cuddled with on the couch when she was a teen. CUDDLED in the past, not going to cuddle with. I agree that Stef would never do that. We just know it’s going to bring up interesting issues, especially if Lena is frustrated with being a stranger in her own house as the bio takeover continues.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Callie said she can’t forget about the past and she’s right but she told Jude to use the pain in a positive way. Callie needs to do the same.  Which is why I’m happy she’s wanting to do art. Just that pain to make a project.       

That’s a good point. I am living for people yelling at Callie. She needs it. That’s why AJ was good for her, too bad.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I hated that Stef and Callie scene. But that’s something they really needed. Callie needed to her that. I’m glad they had that talk.            

I am glad that least Stef was the one parenting Callie. Yay! It was needed, but it did feel cold but behind it was a lot of love. Stef will get emotional next episode. I am sure we’ll get some scene with them later on in the season that is warmer.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Freaking Kamar ordered a bunch of sushi while Sherri is out of town and he’s eating it on their bed. He posted a pic on Instagram. Sherri replies he better not get it on her favorite sheets or he’ll be punished and now all I have in my head is a visual of a dominatrix Sherri dressed in all leather and a riding crop and to be honest it’s kinda weirding me out. LolAhh, my instagram monitor! Lol, Sherri’s funny and I am not sure my mind would have gone there, but it would not surprise. Sherri’s bossy.   I instead will focus on all the lovely things Sherri said about Teri and Stef and Lena last night! Maybe I’ll make a post later since there’s NOTHING to gif.                                                 

[evodevo-geekmonkey]

re: Fitz as atypical presentations of masculinity. Maybe that's why, among other aspects already discussed, all Jemma/Will was for me like a slap in the face, the fact that Jemma fell in love with the personified stereotype of masculinity and that wrongfully chickified her to a certain extent?

Hey :) 

It wasn’t me who answered the original ask but yeah there are some thoughts I have on that.

1) Jemma didn’t chose Will. He was just there. She chose him as much as that he wasn’t terrible and he was in the right place at the right time. Will himself she didn’t chose even if she did chose to use a relationship with him to move on with her life. It wasn’t about Will or any of his characteristics. 

2) I do see what you mean with the ��chickified” sort of. They do this often with characters on AoS (only the female ones) where they have this thing for strong physique. I don’t really have a sense of how women attracted to men are attracted men from experience but personally for me, there is nothing wrong with being attracted to physical features. I just feel like the show overplays it. Like I’m not constantly crushing on whatever the Ward/Will/whoever version of a woman would be, and honestly mostly I think about both physical and personal characteristics (fictional character example I love Delphine’s hair, also am super attracted to Cosima’s cockiness, swoon over Callie’s badass kindness etc…) I think much the way I see the fandom swoon over what Fitz does AND how he looks. I think that’s a more accurate portrayal of people being attracted to people. I don’t know anyone who really has a type, so yeah this insistence that Jemma’s “type” is muscly guys that the show seems to throw on us (like that jammed in crush on Ward lol, yeah right she swooned way more over Bobbie but w/e guys). That said, if a woman finds big strong guys attractive there’s nothing wrong with that, I just agree with you it’s kind of stereotypical to think anyone is just attracted to one thing.

3) Once again, I think it’s silly to paint any character as having a type. Even if there were features that Jemma was attracted to in say, Trip or even Mike Peterson (which in my opinion she seemed to have a crush on way more than Ward) that doesn’t mean she can’t be attracted to Fitz even though he has none of those features. No one thinks “I want my future lover to look/act/be exactly like this. That’s ridiculous. Love and attraction are far more complicated than that and we fall in love with things we never even knew we were looking for sometimes. Plus Fitz is hot. Objectively and from the mass of fangirls (and guys I’m sure) I am pretty sure the guy is really hot. So that’s not the issue. Personality wise, he’s amazing. So was Trip. I guess Will was OK too lol. I personally wasn’t a huge fan but he was OK. But I’m sure he would have found someone who actually chose him if he’d stayed on Earth. Because we’re all different and we all click with different people

4) did that make sense?

5) now to Fitz. Yes I am 100% sure the people making the show chose Will to be the opposite of Fitz. The entire love triangle was constructed by the people who made the show, not for Jemma in any way, but to deal a blow to Fitz and her relationship with Fitz. Don’t get me wrong, Jemma choosing to continue with her life using Will was all her and Maveth had some redeeming qualities but you’re not really looking if you think any of that love triangle was about her. Will and how they constructed him was not meant to say anything about Jemma’s type, or tell us anything we didn’t already know about how she felt about Fitz, but to say something about Fitz’s insecurities. Fitz is the one feeling paled in comparison to this “big hero man” (and again no offense to Will but Jemma was the hero of that episode not him 100%). It was supposed to make Fitz compare himself to Will and us compare Fitz to Will. I don’t like it and I think it’s a dumb way to deal with Fitz’s issues through Jemma, but there it is. 

So, in conclusion: yeah it’s annoying but it doesn’t really say anything about how Jemma feels about Fitz or in the end really that Will is any better or worse than Fitz himself. Jemma of course chose Fitz over Will 100x over but this was not news. She chooses Fitz over most things all the time, even over herself. Also the idea of people having a type is deeply flawed and unrealistic and Jemma loves Fitz as a whole not as any single part of him and that’s real love and how it should be. It doesn’t matter that Fitz isn’t like Will. Actually I think a lot of the time it’s a very good thing. We don’t need 100000000000 carbon copy “manly beefcakes” we need 100000000000000000000 (more zeroes) people who are unique and talented in their own ways. Cocky or kind or both or compassionate and really smart or really strong or really good at social things. We are not pieces but entire wholes that are worth more than the sum of our parts and you fall in love with a whole not a piece of someone. So, whatever the show was trying to say, it matters absolutely not one tiny bit how Fitz relates to Will or what things Jemma is sometimes attracted to. Fitz is good and Jemma is good and they are awesome and they love each other and the rest is just inconsequential.

[justanoutlawfic]

Alright, a tag I saw floating around. Do it, its lots of fun!!! 

Choose 5 OTPs without looking at the questions:

Neal and Emma

Rumple and Belle

Snow and Charming

Brandon and Callie

Nathan and Haley

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter/song that you first started shipping 5? 

Their first tutoring session with the Cracker Jack box and the bracelet. "Don't say I never gave you anything." DEAD. Also, low key disappointed I never got a bracelet in one of those things.

2. Have you ever read fanfiction about 2? 

Yes. And let me tell you: Rumbelle fanfiction is the smuttiest of smut.  Like you think it can't get any smuttier and then bam, they're using candy as foreplay. (One of my favorite fics by the way!)

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screensaver/profile picture/tumblr ID? 

Not on Tumblr, but on YouTube and my Facebook fan page for my writing, yes. 

4. If 3 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

I would quit the show. I say that a lot but seriously if Snowing broke up, I'd be done. They're the epitome of true love. Curses and villains couldn't tear them apart, they share a heart. Their breakup...just...no.

5. Why is 1 so important? 

Emma and Neal have been through similar stuff. Emma grew up feeling unloved and abandoned, she constantly felt the need to run away because she couldn't find her home. Neal's childhood was good at first but then he had to escape it. Yet, he missed it and was trying to find a new home. They understood each other. They were each other's first true loves in the romantic sense. Yes, he did some shitty stuff, but he regretted it every day and tried to make it right. He never tried to force Emma to be with him. Before he died, he said he just wanted her to be happy, to find Tallahassee even without him. Some other love interests have made it seem like their way or the highway but Neal just wants her happiness. You see, when you've been through so much, all you want is for those you love to be happy. The idea of Tallahassee, it wasn't really the town, but what it meant: a forever home for them both, to be loved and give love they felt they never had. (I know Rumple loved Neal but he didn't feel it at the time, same with Emma and Snowing.) And as I wrote this, Only You came on. THE FEELS!

6. Is 4 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Serious. Oh so serious.

7. Out of all your ships listed, which has the most chemistry? 

Oh this is tough. I'd say it's a mix between Rumbelle and Brallie. When I see both, I can't picture them with anyone else. Just the way Rumple looks at Belle, like she's the most precious thing on this earth. I mean Skin Deep, the whole thing was like..swoon. Brallie has those moments too. Emilie and Bobby have done a great job still showing this during what A&E have put them through. And Maia&David passes several chemistry screenings, so there ya go. 

I think Snowing has great chemistry when they're allowed to show it, but that rarely happens anymore. I attribute it to Josh and Ginny on the occasions they can. Their real life relationship makes me smile so much.

8. Of all of the ships, which has the strongest bond? Hmm...I think I'd say Brandon and Callie. Even when they're not together, they're still close and routing for the other to be happy and succeed. The look on Callie's face every time B performs gives me chills. The rest, it seems when they're apart, they just don't have it, you know? 

9. How many times have you read/watched 2′s fandom? Too many to count lol.

10. Which ship lasted the longest? 

This is a hard one. Because while Snowing was technically still married during the curse, they didn't know each other and were with other people. So even though they've been together for like 30+ years, I have to give it to Nathan and Haley. Started in high school and they were meant to be in mid to late 30s in the finale.

11. How many times, if ever, has 5 broken up?

It depends how you define broken up. Because in season 1, they had a couple small fights where they made up within the episode. Then they broke up in season 2/3 when Haley went on tour and again in season 5 when Haley overreacted to the whole Carrie thing. So technically, I only count twice. The other times they didn't break up, they just fought. 

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would survive, 1 or 3? 

I feel like the writers would want us to think Snowing, but Emma has powers and crap, so Swanfire.

13. Did 4 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason? Is water wet?

Yes, they hid their relationship/feelings for a very, very long time.

14. Is 5 still together? 

As of the end of the show, yes.

15. Is 1 canon?

They were. And the fact that they were each other's first romantic true loves is. But they, themselves, are sadly not.

16. If all 5 couples were put into a couples Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Rumbelle. But I feel like he wouldn't want to take out his son...so he'd probably die to save Neal. So, I guess Swanfire actually. But then, Emma wouldn't let Snowing die and they wouldn't let her either, so they'd all die. I guess Nathan and Haley then, because Brandon and Callie would die while trying to save the other with their luck.

17. Has anyone ever tried to sabotage 5s ship?

Yes. But they never succeeded for good because: Always and forever baby!!!

18. Which ships would you defend to death and beyond? 

All of these. Except Naley because it's like the one ship on this list that I wouldn't have to. 99.9% of OTH fans wanted Naley haha. 

19. Have you ever spent hours going through 3′s tumblr page? No, not really. I think because they're still canon, I end up torturing myself with the ones that aren't right now (Brallie, Swanfire and Rumbelle)

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you you had to pick one of the ships to break up forever, which would you break up? 

Oh God, could I have Rumple kill this witch for me?

If I had to pick...I guess Swanfire because one half of them is already dead.

[ethicallysourcedhumanmeat]

Practically Impractical

[Previous][First][Next][Masterpost]

Part 4

Jumin isn’t sure about the way she’s been looking at him all night, with a slight smirk and a raised eyebrow. At first he thinks he may be the butt of a joke, perhaps Saeyoung has talked her into something. Then he reminds himself that Amelia would not jeopardise her business for Saeyoung’s does Jumin Han is gay silliness. Still the look discomforts him.

He orders a bottle of wine for the table and finds himself surprised when Amelia asks for Scotch.

“Ms Miller you’ll have to be more specific than that,” his father scolds her playfully. “You’ll end up with some garbage not even old enough to vote.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Han. I assumed the calibre of the table put us above well shots. In that case I’ll have something in its 20s, single, and neat.”

“Wouldn’t we all,” one of the women across the table smiles. Everyone laughs, except Jumin.

She glances at him again and smirks, eyebrow raised. He considers telling her she’s making him uncomfortable, but that didn’t seem like the right word. It seemed foolish that he felt jealous, she wasn’t his and even if she had been flirting with his father, well she’d certainly flirted with his clients before, and that hadn’t bothered him. No it was something about the way she was looking at him tonight that caused this somehow pleasantly uncomfortable feeling.

“Your father likes me,” she whispers behind her menu.

“My father likes attractive women.”

She laughs, a little louder than necessary and he catches himself blushing when a few heads at their table turn towards them. “I’m going to take that as a compliment, even though I don’t think you meant it that way.”

Jumin exhales through his nose, but he smiles back at her.

“Do you like my hair?” She asks quietly, a hand on his knee as she leans past him to take her drink from the waitress.

“It was not necessary to style yourself for me, your hair is part of your brand.”

Eyebrow raised, wry smirk, she sips her scotch under his father’s watchful eye. In truth he was disappointed. Her tendency towards asymmetrical styles had been somewhat of a safety net for him, helping him distance himself from her. She was not his, after all. Yet tonight she appeared to be playing at it and that concerned him.

The dinner went off without a hitch, Amelia managed questions about her personal life with charming indifference. He’d had concerns about a business dinner of this calibre, while she’d been to meals with his father or one single client he’d had reservations about bringing his pretend girlfriend to an event that featured so many spouses, of course his father had insisted.

She’d done spectacularly and she excelled winning over the wives while still playing as one of the boys. Something he certainly had found to admire about her. And yet tonight, while she played his game, she seemed to have found her own, with her smirks, and touches. It had taken everything he had not to pull her aside and demand she explain.

“Hey,” she grins at him behind the dessert menu. Her fingers dance along his thigh, “are you going to order dessert?”

“Is everything okay with Luciel?” he asks through gritted teeth.

Her grin changes then from the playful teasing smirk to a wide, almost foolish smile. “Of course, things are, well, they’re fantastic.”

Her face and her voice are so genuine that he almost forgets the absurdity of the hand on his thigh. “That’s good to hear, he’s been cold lately I thought perhaps our arrangement was causing problems.”

She laughs and shifts her weight, her legs rest against his as she leans on the table. “Little dangerous to be whispering about right here though?”

He blushes. “You mentioned dessert?”

“Well you know there are sweets stashed around the bunker like the government is planning to ban sugar at any moment, and Max is getting home right around now.”

“This late?”

“It was supposed to be supper time until it wasn’t me picking her up and then it changed, I think he thought he could wait me out. Joke’s on him.”

“If you’d like to leave, we certainly can.” He tries not to sound too excited, but he’s more than happy to end this too strange night.

She smiles and hooks a hand in his elbow as they both stand. “It was lovely to see you again Mr. Han.” Her smile is so bright and palpable in that moment that Jumin almost laughs. Whatever their relationship she really did enjoy dinners with his father.

“You’re not leaving already,” Mr. Han laments.

“Amelia has responsibilities beyond your ego father,” Jumin scolds.

“What he means is my daughter has rules Mr. Han. You don’t want me to miss lunch this weekend because I’m grounded, do you?”

The table laughs and Jumin tries not to notice how her hand tightens on his arm, nor the way she rests her head on his shoulder when he pays for the table. He definitely does not notice the way she absently traces her lips with her thumbs when she leans on the counter as he collects their coats.

“I’m sorry,” Jumin says frowning at his phone. “We are a little earlier than I had planned. I thought it would be quicker to find Driver Kim in the parking garage but it seems he’s not here at the moment. Would you like to go back up to the lobby to wait for him?”

Had he not been so busy not noticing all the little things about her he might have noticed the flash of light in a familiar silver car, or the way she winked in that direction.

“No it’s ok,” she smiles at him again, the wry smile from earlier. “It’s kind of nice down her, with no one watching us.”

He shrugs, he wouldn’t use the word nice, it smelled like exhaust, and gasoline, though he had to consider that she did seem fond of vehicles, so those smells might trigger different reactions. Certainly he told himself he would have to consider that as much as he enjoys the way Elizabeth III smelled Amelia did not seem to appreciate her in the same way.

Finally distracted by thoughts of Elizabeth Jumin didn’t notice when she turned around, or the way she was looking up at him, he didn’t notice until he felt her fingers tease the hair at the nape of his neck. She didn’t seem surprised when he grabbed her hands instead he’s more than a little shocked when she guides his hands to her hips.

It seemed that minutes passed, as she stretches onto her toes and runs her hands inside his coat until they rest again at the nape of his neck. She stops then, lips not quite on his.

“Is this ok?” She asks quietly, that lopsided grin and quirked eyebrow.

Is it? He thinks. What about Saeyoung? He almost asked. But instead of asking, instead of pushing her away he was crushing her against him, gathering her up like a swooning buffoon in a romance film as he covers her mouth in a hungry kiss. He feels her hook her foot around the back of his leg as her fingers curl in his hair, her nails dragging across his scalp. He loses himself in the feel of her mouth, the way she opens herself to him and sighs against him, the way the skirt of the dress she’d finally let him buy for her bunches beneath his hands revealing bare flesh.

He loses himself in the taste and feel of her trapped against him, supple in his arms until the phone in his hand buzzes and meows in the irritating cat tone Saeyoung had programmed that he’d completely forgotten to change. He finds himself rather quickly then, and tries not to notice the way Amelia smirks against him.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles without making eye contact.

“Nothing to apologise for,” she smiles and chews at her bottom lip while she straightens her dress.

“I’ll have Driver Kim take you home, alone. I will find a taxi.”

“There’s no need, Jumin”

“There is every need, Amelia.”

“Not at all,” she laughs. “Saeyoung is here for me.” She waves and the headlights in Luciel’s silver Ferrari flash on them like a spot light and Jumin immediately starts to sweat.

“Amelia,” he says concerned. A hand out as she steps closer to him, but it doesn’t stop her.

She grazes his cheek with her swollen lips and nips his earlobe before whispering in his ear, words he’s not sure he believes until after he watches her drive away in Saeyoung’s flashy car and he looks down at his phone.

A video clip from Luciel, don’t worry about Saeyoung, with the caption, this was his idea, “How are you at sharing, Mista Trustfundkid?”

*

“Shit. Holy Shit, shit. Fuck, shit!” Saeyoung is practically hyperventilating when the door to his car opens.

Jumin is caught in the headlights, frozen as Callie melts into the leather seat.

“That was—”

“Jesus.”

Jumin glances from them to his phone as Saeyoung pulls out and past him.

“Fuuuuck,” Callie groans, he sees her run her fingers through her hair and let her head fall back.

“I have been usurped, God Callie, master of men. What can’t you do?”

Her hands slap against the leather as she lets them drop from her head. “What did you send him, holy shit. I wanna call you a cock block but, wow.”

“I mean I didn’t know, I didn’t— Wow, yeah,” he laughs. “What did you say, I mean how did you?”

“Fuck,” she laughs. “Oh fuck, pull over. I can’t—” she dissolves into laughter. Side clutching, doubled over laugher.

For his part, he’s laughing too. Picking Max up had been tense. It was the first time he’d been alone with Callie’s ex-husband and the man had a way about him that felt aggressive even when he was smiling and he asked questions that seemed pointedly personal. He didn’t want to call it prying, there was a strange familiarity that came with talking to a person who’d been married to your partner. It was times like that Saeyoung felt their age difference deep to his toes.

But not moments like this, sitting in an empty parking lot laughing until they cry at almost 10pm on a Thursday night. He’s barely caught his breath from laughing when she’s crawled over the center console and into his lap. She sits there, still giggling, her feet dangling awkwardly over the armrest.

“I didn’t say anything, to him. Poor Jumin.”

He grabs her face and kisses her between laughter. “I might have asked him if her likes to share.”

“You asked what?”

“I sent him a video of you two kissing and asked if he was good at sharing?”

“Oh my god, poor Jumin.” She turns then, her face still in his hands and scrambles to her knees, he kisses her on the nose and lets his hands drop.

She reaches towards his face with both hands and pulls his glasses off, everything in front of him is soft edges as she reaches behind her and hooks them on the visor. He watches the way she frowns and smiles as she decides what she’s going to do. The way her face moves like she’s having a conversation with herself. She reaches up and runs a hand through his messy hair and he remembers the way she’d played with Jumin’s hair.

Saeyoung let’s himself notice the different way she approaches him, the way she starts at his temple rather than his nape, the way she runs her fingers through his hair instead of letting them tangle and tug. The way she rises up on her knees until she’s looking down on him smiling instead of staring up waiting to be kissed.

Callie considers the ways in which kissing Saeyoung is different than Jumin, she tilts his head back and watches the way he smiles at her. She presses her forehead to his, her lips rest against his, noses smooshed together and his smile widens. She considers the way his hands rest on her thighs, fingers twitching but not pressing. She runs her hands along the sides of his face and traces his jaw with her thumbs before kissing him properly.

It’s not until her tongue teases past his teeth that his hands grasp her thighs and squeeze, not until her teeth nip his lips that his hands move to her hips. His arms wrap around her waist and he presses her back against the steering wheel. He wonders for a moment what the expensive dress Jumin paid for is made of, as his pushes it up exposing more and more of her thighs.

Her hands drop to his chest and push him back against the seat. He wonders if he’d had a normal youth would he have done something like this sooner as she fights with the button on his jeans and his fingers find the edge of the pretty blue panties he’s watched her put on that afternoon. Her hand on his chest again and she drags herself away from the kiss.

“Where is your phone?”

“What?”

“Your phone? Mine is in my purse on the floor, where is yours?”

Seven reaches into the compartment behind the gear shift, leaning forward just far enough to nip at her arm. He hands her his phone and watches her, chest heaving in the sweetheart neckline. She leans forward and kisses him again, softly this time. Her free hand dropping back to his waist band he starts, again, sliding his hands past the hemline of her dress when she leans back, he thinks to catch her breath, and there’s the familiar shutter sound of the camera on his phone.

[chronicallycal]

Hi Callie, and thank you for your wishes! 2017 started off pretty good for me, but I’m going back to college next week, so… I’m still gonna do my best to keep conversing with you though. Well, I kinda ruled out Castle’s dad because there once was an interview stating that he wasn’t LockSat, but I can’t really remember if it’s Marlowe or the new showrunners that gave this information. After all, I don’t believe LockSat was initially meant to have a connection with Beckett either. (NSA)

:“I guess that people might have thought about him given Rita’s involvement, but it would have required bringing James Brolin back on the show (preferably), and idk if it was feasible. I’m also glad they didn’t go down that road because man, the one-on-one confrontation with Castle would have been ten times worse. Another option of mine for LockSat was indeed a guy we hadn’t met before, but I get that it wouldn’t have the same impact on the audience. (NSA)

I admit the ending of 8x22 gave at least fanfic writers plenty of ideas, including the making of a great virtual season 9. What may have simply lacked in the version that did air is a small clue that Castle and Beckett wouldn’t die. Let’s say if after they held hands we would hear Lucy calling Caskett, or a door knocking, a phone ringing… and then leave out or not the scene with the voice over depending on the scenario. Oh, I had forgotten that you’re a sadist when it comes to “Castle", (NSA)

while I’m more of a masochist lol (sorry, I reminded myself of a hilarious Youtube video for which I'm sadly not allowed to give the link). Here’s the list of the underrated episodes that currently stick out for me: 1x02?, 1x09 (which stays with me more than 6x10 for example), 2x01, 2x02, 2x12, The Mistress Always Spanks Twice, 2x22, 3x10, 3x11, 3x15, 4x03, 4x11, 5x18, 6x11, maybe 7x22? There could be more episodes ofc, especially after season 5, but I would need a rewatch to find them. (NSA)

There are also popular scenes in eps not cited in any list: all the Caskett scenes in Hell Hath No Fury, the fun interrogation scene in 5x14, the kiss in 7x03, etc. Now, one unpopular opinion: I often rewatch The Limey, and aside from seeing Jacinda in the Ferrari, I quite like this ep. Voilà! I’ll probably detail a few things the next time, and add something about your take on 3x01, but until then, feel free to give me your opinion and maybe share a few favorite of yours. See you soon! (NSA)”

Response under the cut.

Hi NSA! As always, my apologies for my tardiness in my response. I could offer another in-depth explanation of why my health issues postponed my response, but the gist of it is that I haven’t been able to be on my computer and wanted to give your message the attention it deserves. I hope you’re return to school (I think my math is correct and you’ve gone back by now?) went well and that you’re doing okay. :)

I’m by no means saying I thought it was Castle’s dad, if only for the issue of getting James Brolin back (and also because based on past story lines, the show doesn’t seem huge on making “good” guys “bad”, spare for the case of Montgomery in which they definitely avenged, imo, his backstory). Rather that I think I would have been more impressed if it had been someone people had a previous idea about. It could have been interesting for it to be someone related to Mayor Weldon or Judge Markaway or even the AG from Beckett’s time there, too, just someone that would have shocked me a lot more than Mason because tbh I didn’t even recognize him at first oops. Rita being a double agent of sorts could have been really interesting, too.

I actually didn’t know that it originally wasn’t supposed to be tied into Beckett (assuming you’re remembering correctly, lol) but if that was the case, I’m actually glad it was. (Fair warning, ramble about parts of why I don’t mind S8 ahead.) I think it posed an interesting story arc, not to mention that without that relation to Bracken the entirety of the separation arc would have been far more terrible than many, myself not included, perceive it to be. But I also think it provided some interesting albeit subtle growth for Beckett. To put it as simply as I can: people often argue against the separation arc with the argument that it makes no sense because Beckett already learned she works best with Castle, which is arguably very true. But this lesson also came at a time when she had no choice, in the sense that Castle had already involved himself and whether she worked with him or not, that wouldn’t change. In S8, Beckett was presented with a case where Castle wasn’t aware, and she chose a route people weren’t fond of, but in the grand scheme learned without him already knowing everything that she needed to work with him, and whether the writer’s intended it that way or not, I do perceive that as character and relationship growth in the characters.

(Anyway, you most likely didn’t care about any of that oops.)

Season 9 is certainly a great idea on behalf of L that has been executed well by the fanfic community, as were many of the post-finale fics, so the finale did certainly provide fodder of sorts for fic writers, but I do think it would have been a good plan to include a more clear scene that they didn’t die. It could have also been cool to have a voice over that included lines not previously heard on the show, that hinted/explicitly referenced a recovery to bridge the gap between the shooting scene and the 7 years later scene. (Wow more rambles you didn’t ask for.)

Okay I’m going to be annoying and give short reactions to your underrated episodes list:

1x02: okay yes I love that episode and fetus bickering Caskett is adorable.

1x09: also great but I prefer 6x10 because there’s more fluffy domestic Caskett and also the more references to future kids than any other ep offers, and also I don’t like Sorenson.

2x01: yes any episode with both angry baby Beckett and Russian Beckett has to be fab (also I think this is one of the first times we saw Castle’s more sensitive side with his apology which is great).

2x02: precinct fam banter = fab

2x12: idk if I’d consider this ep underrated but I love it and jealous Beckett is adorable.

2x16 (Mistress Always Spanks Twice): Yesssss.

2x22: Maddie and little Castle babies = omg yes

3x10: tbh I don’t remember much of the case part of this ep but many great scenes so yes I approve.

3x11: also dk if I would consider this underrated but it is one of my favs and I love it very much.

3x15: CASTLE BACKSTORY YES PLEASE and also Caskett went out for Valentine’s Day so very very good.

4x03: that end scene about beating the odds. enough said.

4x11: Yesss this might be one of the eps I rewatch the most because I find the case fun and Beckett;s “thus reinstating my faith in my gender” (or something like that) always makes me smile and HAPPY RYANS AND CASKETT ON A DATE.

5x18: RYAN BACKSTORY YES. This is, imo, the best side-character centric arc and I love it a lot.

7x22: Caskett dancing like giddy little idiots in love while on a case because they just really really really really really really like each other.

All those scenes you mention are also fab. I personally have so many scenes I adore so much. Like the end of Once Upon a Crime and just a bunch of random post-couple moments that just make me swoon. Whole eps though, uh, I do really like Close Encounters and Poof! You’re Dead and The Dead Pool. Also Heroes & Villains and Embarrassment of Bitches (I mean, come on, pre-couple Caskett with a DOG). After Hours is another one I really, really like, as are Scared to Death and Law are Boarder. I also feel like the whole PI arc, like, the original in S7, is hated by a lot of people but I liked it.

Anyway, wow this got so long. Sorry about that. I do hope that we’ll be able to keep talking despite you going back to school.

Callie xx

[monicaalexandraaa]

SAM !!!!!! This part is soooooo good!! The whole story has been amazing. Your attention to detail and the way you brought so much life into all the characters is incredible. I love this group so much🥰Another incredible story and another story that I hope people take the time to read. You are a gem!!🩷🩷

Pucking Rookie VI

Read Pucking Rookie here | ~8.5k words

From me: last part for now 💕 thank you for all the support on this 😍

Warnings: violence Kael, some injuries, anger, some fluff and reassurance.

Summary: She is trying her hardest to keep Harry out; but would it be that bad to let him in?

Has Harry mentioned how much he hates Kael Crowe?

Harry had his hands in his pockets while they skated alongside each other. With gloves on her hands, she held them out slightly at her sides for balance. From someone looking at her, she probably still looked like a toddler when she skated. But she didn’t need Harry to skate backward in front of her anymore, which was a win in her book.

The chill in the air made her nose red and she looked so cute. She was all bundled, nice and warm. Harry wanted to find mistletoe even though it was well past Christmas. Granted, he would have done just about anything to kiss her. She bit her lip when she concentrated, especially while skating. The same expression when she focused on the eye piece of her camera making sure the picture would turn out perfectly. Harry swore his smile was going to split his face in half just looking at her.

Unlike her, Harry looked so at ease. She loved seeing him on his used skates, the ones that he clearly had for years and weren’t for the show of his games and because of his sponsors. He looked so tranquil and happy. The ice was his happy place. It almost seemed more natural for him to be on skates than it did on solid ground.

Also unlike Harry, she was not smiling. Especially not smiling like the joy was going to burst out of him like a princess singing a song.

“Y’look more comfortable on y’skates.”

“Mm,” she shrugged. “It’s getting easier.”

Harry noted that she had seemed a bit more introverted the last couple of days—a little more withdrawn. Something was clearly bothering her, and he couldn’t quite place it himself. Callie flirting with her didn’t even faze her (although it certainly fazed Harry). When she directed the guys to pose, her smile didn’t reach her eyes. She didn’t joke about Asher’s good side (or lack thereof, in Harry’s opinion—especially when Asher insisted that she tell him he had a good side). At The Locker Room she didn’t laugh as much, and she didn’t invite Harry inside when he made sure she got home safely. “Rookie, is something wrong?”

“No.”

But she answered way too quickly. Immediately, Harry did an about face, turned to skate in front of her, gliding backwards so effortlessly. One eyebrow quirked up in question. “Talk t’me, Rookie,” he encouraged.

She took a deep breath. “We’re going to play The Wolves,” she reminded him. Harry had seen the schedule; he knew the game was coming up.

What did that have to do with anything? “Yeah,” he nodded. “So?”

She stopped skating, executing her little stop perfectly. Harry was so proud of her abilities and how much better she had gotten with practice over the last couple of months. Still, she looked upset. She rolled her lips into her mouth as she worked through whatever was going through her brain. “I don’t want you to get into it with Kael.”

Harry shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Is that what you’re worried ‘bout? Why you’ve been so quiet the last few days?” She shrugged and looked away from his face. “Rookie, do y’think distancing yourself from me for a couple of shitty days is going t’make me less likely t’fight that sorry excuse for a man?” She glanced at him briefly, her cheeks turning pink under his assumption. His very correct assumption. “Bunny,” he frowned.

She sighed heavily. “It’s just... you’ll get in trouble, and I don’t want that, and I don’t want you to get hurt. I can barely handle it when you get checked into the boards. I’m always worried you have a concussion,” she grumbled.

Harry felt a tug in his chest over her sweet words. “You like me, Rookie," he wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.

She glared at him. “Shut up, I do not.”

“You care about me.”

“I care about you the same way I care about Niall or..." he was praying she wouldn't say it. But she was feisty--one of Harry's favoirte things about her; so of course she was going to say it. "...Kian.”

He scoffed and narrowed his eyes at her. The flirtatious smile left his mouth. “S’not the same way y’care ‘bout Callie, Rookie. Not even a little.”

“You’re so ridiculous about Kian, Harry.”

“Stop calling him that. And quit distracting me,” he grumbled. Taking a deep breath he shook his head of thoughts regarding his least favorite teammate (which was a real shame because other than Niall, Harry loved Callie). Sighing, he smirked again as he watched her avoid his eyes. “You like me, Bunny.”

Her cheeks turned pink. “Of course I like you Harry,” she rolled her eyes as she mumbled the sentiment.

“Yeah, but you like-like me.”

“Are you six?”

He ignored her fake insult and leaned in to peck her cheek. “I like-like you too,” he whispered in her ear.

She shoved him gently, but her cheeks remained flushed with color. “You’re insane.”

He took her hand and tugged her toward him to continue skating. “I don’t care ‘bout Crowe,” he said quietly. “I don’t want y’worrying ‘bout me over him. The last time we saw him... hopefully that got the message across,” he squeezed her hand. It was nice to pull her along now that she could skate better. He liked holding her hand. Touching her in general was one of his favorite past times. “M’worried ‘bout you seeing him again.”

“Well, I’m going to wear my number eleven jersey,” she smiled brightly at the thought. Harry thought he had won MVP, the championship game, all rolled into one. “So maybe you’re right. Maybe he’ll get the message.”

The face-splitting grin was back. “Yeah?” He spun again so he was in front of her, this time he pulled her flush against him. It would be so easy to lean in and kiss her. “Didn’t think y’would be one t’make someone intentionally jealous.”

She shrugged. “If you don’t want to be part of my plan, I could always wear Niall’s jersey, or Lang’s, or even Cal—”

“Do not finish that thought, Rookie,” he growled and pressed her face into his body where she laughed silently against him, shaking as she giggled. “You’re mine.”

*

The arena where The Glacier Wolves played truly felt like enemy territory. There was something palpable in the air; you could practically taste the venom coming from both teams. The last time they played, the whole team was pissed at Kael. She tried to keep her distance, but she felt the stares of the guys coming from every angle. Harry’s name and number were all over her body. She kept to herself staying by the media and press at the other end of the rink so that she wouldn’t distract the team.

“Is she good?” Charlie asked Harry.

Harry glanced toward the other end, finding her immediately in black and silver. “Think so,” he shrugged hoping it wouldn't be too obvious he was in love with his coach's niece.

“Styles,” Charlie’s voice was deeper somehow, filled with intensity. Harry looked at his coach. Instantly he swallowed nervously, seeing the seriousness on his face that clearly had nothing to do with hockey.

“Coach?”

“You’re going to take care of her?”

“With my life, sir,” Harry vowed.

Charlie ran a hand over his face and then through his hair as he pushed it back. Harry could see the anxiety all over his face. “You hurt one hair on her head, I’ll bench you for the rest of your career.”

Harry smirked and nodded. That wouldn't be a problem. Harry would welcome it. Plus, he appreciated the approval. “That seems fair t’me.”

“If you hit Crowe a little too hard today, I’ll look the other way. Or chip in on the fine.”

Harry smiled brightly. “You got it, Coach.”

*

Kael found Harry on the ice almost as soon as the game started. Both started essentially in the same position as the puck was dropped between Asher and Kael’s teammate. It was the matchup of the league. Every news outlet was talking about it leading up to the game. Two of the biggest names in hockey. Old rivals playing against one another just like old times. The shit-talking that ensued made him crazy but he tried to keep his cool for her.

Each time he was checked into the boards, he remembered her sweet face saying she worried about him. Harry didn’t want a single penalty (well, that wasn’t true. He wanted to knock every single one of Crowe’s teeth out). Instead, he caught a glimpse of her at the glass the camera lens pressed through the cutout for the media. His jersey with his name and number all over her.

He wasn’t going to fight Crowe.

Fortunately, Harry’s team was having a hell of a time doing it on his behalf. Collectively there had been almost one full period worth of penalties. Callie cheered from the penalty box when Asher laid Crowe into the boards. Their level-headed captain even got sent to the box for two minutes with a smile on his face. Niall didn’t let a single one of Crowe’s shots get past him. And maybe Niall tripped him up when he got too close to the net.

As such, the Chargers played short-handed almost the entire second period, yet they were still winning at the second intermission.

It didn’t stop Crowe from his onslaught of shit-talking despite being down. He told Harry how terrible he was, how shitty his stick handling was, and that he kept missing obvious shots. All his comments seemed to be a projection of how terrible he was playing and perhaps it was because the pretty photographer wearing Harry’s jersey added it to the mind games in Kael's head.

Maybe Harry would have to rethink the whole jealousy ploy she had going on. It was a nice touch (especially when he wasn’t subject to the feeling).

Harry smirked as he stood across from Crowe while they dropped the puck. Almost immediately Crowe slashed at him. Earning zero penalties and no looks from the ref. Harry growled but remained calm. He was only keeping calm for her and only her. Otherwise, he would have added himself to the penalty box. It would mean more to Crowe than it did to Harry if he lashed out about the pretty photographer.

There was only a minute left in the game and Crowe’s team was down by two, so it was sure as hell a win in the Chargers book. But Harry wasn’t celebrating until the piece of shit was off the ice.

With no one in the Wolves’ net, Harry stole the puck away from Kael and slapped it directly into the back of the net. He grinned brightly as his team cheered and tackled him, pressing him into the glass right near the pretty girl who had the camera pressed to her face. He winked at her amidst the madness and Harry couldn’t help but notice how big her smile—not even the camera obstructed how joyful she looked.

As the buzzer signaled the end of the game, Harry and his team skated for their bench. They were happy to win, but they were all thrilled to get off the enemy’s ice.

“Enjoy my sloppy seconds Styles.”

Harry could take the comments about his effort, his ability, his looks, anything.

But he would not, under any circumstance, take criticism about the lovely girl at the other end of the ice.

Harry skated right in front of Crowe standing almost the same height as him, marveling happily at how he was a couple inches taller than his opponent. “What the fuck did you say, Crowe?”

“Harry!” Niall shouted skating back onto the ice almost instantly. Camera flashes from every angle ensued.

“Styles!” Ray shouted from nearby.

“It’s not just talent and ability you want from me, you have to take my girl?”

“She’s not yours, you piece of shit,” Harry was gripping his stick tight, talking through gritted teeth.

“Harry!” She screamed—her voice was far away but Harry could pick it out of a sea of people.

“You couldn’t find your own girl, had to take mine. Don’t worry, I stretched her out for you. She’s a good lay—” Harry dropped his stick and gloves with a quiet thunk on the ice. By then his teammates made it to him, Callie and Asher lunged for him holding him back.

“Crowe, walk the fuck away!” Asher snapped. Harry pushed against him as he got in the fray; he could only imagine what the announcers were saying as they watched two of the top players in the league get dangerously close to fighting after the game had ended.

“Charlie!” She shouted, her voice was closer but not close enough.

“Harry don’t do it,” Callie begged. “Walk away," he tried to plead calmly. "Go get her and you can take her—”

“That’s right listen to every one of your teammates and that naggy bitc—”

Right as he clenched his hands into fists, he felt her soft, delicate fingers wrapping around his hands. She was on the ice. Unsteady and standing in front of him in just her boots. “Hey, look at me,” she begged her eyes a bit wild.

“Bunny—” He started his teeth clenched together. "Get out--"

“Cute, well you got one thing right, Styles. She’s a dumb little puck bunny.”

She shoved Harry as much as she could while he tried to get away from her gentle touch. “Sweetheart,” Asher warned.

Crowe laughed. “You sleeping with the whole team, baby? One whole team to replace me?”

She spun on her heel, nearly sliding to the ground, but Harry caught her by the elbow because he was certain his first priority would always be to take care of her no matter what. “Your problem is with me, Kael,” she snapped. “So, if you’re going to pick fights, pick it with the person you have an actual problem with, you coward.”

“I’m not the one calling you a puck bunny, baby. They are. You must like it if they all call you one,” he teased with a shrug. He knew she didn’t. She said it all the time while they dated. “That’s what you get for riding dick like it’s your job, Bunny,” his tone was antagonizing. Who was he trying to get a rise out of? Was it Harry? It couldn’t have been. Harry was already pissed. Was it her? Maybe. She already hated him.

“Get off the fucking ice!” Charlie shouted.

No one moved. Except Harry who was dying to get his hands on Kael.

Kael took his helmet off and looked at her. “You’re nothing but a groupie, baby. When Harry’s done with you, you’ll come crawling back. You have nothing.”

She was shaking, perhaps as badly as the rest of the team was. She wanted to smack him across his stupid fucking face, but she was trying to remain composed with so many cameras on her. This was already going to be a PR nightmare, and it was all her fault. Although she was sure none of the guys would care, it bothered her. Just another reason to add to how she fucked with the team’s energy and made everything different since her arrival.

“Kael, just stop. Leave me alone,” she hissed.

“Or what, baby?” He taunted. “Your group of fuck buddies will go after me?”

“Watch it,” Harry snarled still straining against Callie and Asher.

“Let’s go,” she whispered, pushing her hands into Harry's chest behind her. He slid backwards a little to create more space between them. “This isn’t worth it,” she said loud enough for Kael to hear.

However, he wasn't accepting their escape. Their way to take the higher ground. But before she could get away, Kael grabbed her arm, hard.

Time seemed to stop for a moment. Truly, suspended in disbelief as she gasped. "Ow, Kael!” She yelped.

“Oh, fuck no,” Harry growled lowly.

“Shit,” Callie grabbed at Harry harder and yanked him back before he could kill Crowe on a live broadcast.

Niall and Lang stepped forward as Asher helped Callie hold Harry back. “Let go of her fucking wrist, Crowe,” Niall said putting a hand on her back.

“You have two seconds to let go of her,” Lang added at the same time.

“Let fucking go of me,” Harry thrashed against his teammates.

She bent awkwardly trying to get her arm back, gasping at the pressure he pitted against her so effortlessly. “HEY!” It was Ray who shouted. “That’s enough! Crowe, let go of my niece or I’ll kill you!”

But Charlie was already on the move, next to Crowe in the blink of an eye. He was shorter than the bulky, built hockey player on skates by a head or maybe even two. Without hesitation he reached for Kael’s neck as if he were the same height and pressed on the space between his neck and clavicle. Within seconds, Kael was gasping, he dropped her arm instantly.

There wasn’t a break in his movements, everything fluid like he was skating on the ice as Charlie shoved his niece backwards making her lose her balance, but Harry caught her just before she hit the ground. “Everyone off the fucking ice!” Coach yelled.

Harry had never been so relieved to have her in his embrace as he skated off the ice, pushing her forward quickly even though he wanted to kill Kael.

“Are you alright, Sweetheart?” Callie asked.

“Shut the fuck up, Callie,” Harry snarled.

“Harry,” she whispered.

“Jesus, Styles, I just wanted—”

“Shut. Up.  Don’t ever get in my way like that Calloway, not when she’s—”

“Harry,” she repeated stronger as she nearly had to race to catch up to them on their long legs—even with skates. She grabbed his hand, still balled into a shaking fist. She gave it a gentle squeeze. “Kian isn’t the bad guy here,” she reminded him. Harry glared at his teammate, shoulders heaving with each angry breath. After a moment he nodded, his jaw flexing tautly as he did.

“Sorry, Callie,” she whispered, squeezing his arm which made Harry huff out a breath and look away. He strongly considered snapping his stick in half. Again.

“It’s okay, Sweetheart. We all get a little crazy about you,” he smirked. “Harry,” he nodded and headed into the locker room. She turned to Harry to remind him that his teammates weren’t the problem, ever.

“Are you alright?” Charlie asked, catching up as they stopped in front of the locker room.

Harry stared at her unsurely waiting for her answer with bated breath. She nodded, putting on a brave face. “Yes.”

“You’re sure?” Harry asked, taking a heaving breath. His hands were still shaking at his sides.

She nodded. “I’m fine,” because she was. There might be a bruise on her arm from the grip he had, but she wasn’t in pain anymore. He didn’t break anything (which was a horrifying thought) but it wasn’t any less true. “Please go change, I want to get out of here,” she urged. Harry’s eyes flicked to Charlie before he went into the locker room after his teammates. She twisted her wrist once he was out of sight. Charlie narrowed his eyes at the movement.

“Are you—”

Quickly with an awful realization, she touched her neck. “Oh fuck, I left my camera,” she grumbled rubbing her hand over her face.

Charlie was staring at her just as unsurely. “I’ll have someone go get it.”

“No, it’s fine,” she shook her head. “I need the walk, the air,” she sighed.

“I have a press conference. I can skip it. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Positive. I’m sorry I caused all this,” she frowned. “I really feel like you didn’t ask for any of this with the team.”

“Hey Sweetheart?” He put a hand on her shoulder. “I always hated Crowe,” he smiled. “You were way too good for him. If the whole team got in trouble for hurting him, well, that would be worth it in my book. If he ever touches you again, I think the whole team will kill him.”

“Well, we have a whole season to prepare for that,” she smirked sadly. “Thank you, Uncle Charlie.”

“Anything for you Sweetheart. Go take a few breaths,” he squeezed her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Wish you slapped him; you earned it,” he winked over his shoulder as he headed for the media room.

She smiled and took several deep breaths calming herself as much as she could as she walked back down the tunnel to the rink. She had been in the very arena hundreds of times. It never felt like home. Not the way The Arctic Chargers arena felt. In a shorter amount of time at that. The idea that she had ever thought she could live her life in this arena feeling like she was less was crazy. Especially when Harry and the entire team made her feel so important.

She said hello and waved to people she recognized from her days spent watching Kael. Her new media friends said hello as well. She waved to the man driving the Zamboni and snagged her camera off the visiting bench that she dropped there when she saw Kael antagonizing Harry from across the rink. She couldn’t believe she nearly lost it in all the commotion; but she supposed for Harry, it was worth it. It could have been a lot worse.

Following Charlie’s advice, she continued breathing deeply. Hoping to calm herself from the inside out. She was glad she didn’t hit Kael. As much as she wanted to. With her luck, he would have pressed charges or something. It would have played right into his act.

Hopefully everyone saw the way he grabbed her wrist.

For several seconds, she sat on the bench, her head between her knees breathing and collecting herself. Harry looked murderous. She hoped he showered and felt better. She would have to thank Callie and Asher again for holding him back before he did something terrible.

Sighing, she stood, headed for the locker room once more. Relieved there would once more be a whole year between now and the next game she would have to see Kael next season. She was going to forget about any of her stuff at their old apartment. He could have it. It didn’t matter. As long as she had her camera, she could make everything else work. She looked at the screen to continue calming herself. As soon as the boys were ready, they would head to the hotel and get some sleep before a red eye flight home. Her hotel room bed sounded like heaven (even if it was going to be missing a number eleven in her blankets).

She was so ready for this day to be over.

Right as she exited the tunnel and headed down the hall toward the locker room, she was shoved against the wall, hard. She didn’t know how the guys got checked into the boards all the time. Even with padding on that had to have hurt—and multiple times? Forget it. She felt an ache all over her back. The air in her lungs was displaced and she moaned as she tried to breathe through it. It felt like her body was one giant bruise in a matter of seconds.

Kael held her in place. His eyes dark and his face expressionless. “You’re a lot more vulnerable without a hockey team behind you.”

She gaped, as he easily yanked her camera from her grip and dropped it to the ground. Her eyes watered at the sound of all the mechanical pieces cracking. She whimpered. “Kael,” she gasped as the air slowly returned. “Let me go.”

“You were good for my image, baby,” he crooned. “Didn’t you like living the luxurious lifestyle?” He skimmed the back of his finger along her cheek. Other than a helmet and gloves, he was still in all his gear, skates, and pads, so he towered imposingly over her. She whimpered again. “You have no power here,” he reminded her pinning her in place by pressing close to her. If anyone walked by, they would think it was just a heated form of foreplay. His legs caged her in. His body holding her in place.

His hand closed around her throat.

“Stop,” she begged squirming to get away from him.

“You’re pathetic. You think just because your uncle is a coach and your new boyfriend is a sorry excuse of a look-a-like for me that you can do whatever you want,” his voice was low, threatening. If it wasn’t immediately following a game maybe someone would have seen the interaction. But instead, the players were in the locker room, coaches in the media room, other workers in the arena. It was just the pair of them. “You’re nothing, baby. You’ve got nothing.”

He was good. Waiting until she was most vulnerable. Even if she was lucky enough for someone to come by, she was certain he made it so he didn’t look like he was harming her or speaking terrible things to her.

But she was right there. Hearing every menacing word. Every word meant to cut her deeper than any physical harm he could cause her. “You’re nothing but a groupie, baby. You’ll always be a dumb puck bunny.”

“Please,” she croaked, gasping for breath. Her squirming wasn’t enough, he was too strong, and Lord knew how long until the boys would come out of the locker room and Charlie out of the press conference. No one was coming to her rescue.

She clawed at his arms, but the pads protected him. Everything was protected which seemed like a metaphor she couldn’t quite put together right now.

Everything except the hand on her throat.

She bent her head at an awkward angle allowing air to flow just enough. Thrashing against his hold hoping he would slip just a bit. He didn’t notice she was trying to reach for his hand. He must have assumed she was trying to escape. It didn’t have to be a lot she just needed something to give.

When it did finally give, she wasted no time. His hand moved just enough so that she could bend her neck completely. Once she could, she bit down as hard as she could on his finger.

She bit so hard that she tasted blood.

“What the fuck!” He growled yanking away instinctively. She didn’t waste a second and bolted. He was on skates, and she was in her boots so for once in an ice arena she had the speed advantage, and she wasn’t going to lose that.

Without really noticing where her feet carried her, the locker room burst open before her. She couldn’t even see because her eyes were blurred over with tears. She choked out a sob as the door shut behind her.

“Bunny?” Harry sounded concerned, curious, and confused all in one little word that she hated so much (especially right now) but loved when Harry said it.

“Oh hell,” Asher whispered. It was quiet then, no one moving, or speaking.

“Harry?” She cried, unable to see as she wiped uselessly at her face to rid herself of the tears and she pressed her other hand to the top of her chest trying to stop her heart from flying out of her ribcage and soothe the ache and burn of knowing his hand was on her neck. The other hand went to her mouth. Her face tilted down, and her hair fell in front of her face.

If the team was naked, she wouldn’t even know. Her vision wasn’t clear enough to see an inch in front of her.

“Bunny?” He repeated, his voice closer, his hands gently caressing her face. A massive juxtaposition to how Kael held her moments before. “Kitten,” he turned her neck ever so gently inspecting every inch of her face. “What happened?”

“H-he broke m-my camera,” she sniffled and swiped at her eyes. With a little more clarity, she could see Harry was half undressed, just his practice jersey and compression pants on him. He was sweaty and never looked hotter and she was a goddamn wreck.

“I’ll kill him,” but it was Niall who growled out the sentiment. Before another word could be uttered, she heard the locker-room door open.

“Oh fuck,” Lang was quick to follow.

“Bunny,” Harry crouched slightly to meet her gaze. “Kitten, what happened?” He repeated. She shook her head, her cries catching in her throat again. She buried her face into his chest and sobbed. Harry cupped the back of her head, curling around her protectively the way he always seemed to when she cried. “Fuck, Bunny,” he frowned. His lips found her ear. “Did he touch you?” He asked.

She nodded. The rest of the team must have already anticipated what she was upset over, because it was even quieter than when she entered. She felt Harry start shaking again. It started from the center of his body outward. She imagined his toes were shaking. Fully vibrating with anger. “I’m gonna kill him,” Harry’s voice was so low and so terrifying she shivered.

“Please don’t leave me,” she sniffled.

He groaned and tightened his grip on her. “Y’killing me, Rookie,” he mumbled.

“I just want to go home, please,” she begged her voice breaking.

His heart broke. “We’re heading to the hotel soon, and I’ll drive y’home when we land, Bunny, I promise,” he assured her. The thought of leaving her alone was repulsive. Almost as much as this whole moment with Kael.

“No... take me home with you,” she whispered.

Well, if there was one way to keep him sane, he supposed that would be it. “Take you home?” He repeated. “My home?”

She nodded. “Please, I don’t want to be away from you.”

Make that, two ways to keep him sane.

*

She refused to say what he did specifically. He didn’t do anything but hold her in the hotel bed until the team left in the middle of the night for their red eye flight. He sat next to her on the bus and the plane, carrying her stuff and wincing every time she sniffled. He combed his fingers through her hair, refusing to let go of her for anything other than the bathroom. He made sure she drank enough water and had medicine for all the aches she endured.

Charlie was fuming in his seat. Between what happened and her lack of response about what happened, he may have sent Harry several messages regarding how he would enjoy going to jail if Harry hurt her. He ignored those messages for the time being. But he did pay attention to the one where Charlie said he was looking into getting the security footage pulled before Kael could swipe it from the arena.

The team had no problem messaging Kael. The coward left before anyone could find him. Niall found her camera shattered to bits on the floor. Callie pulled the memory card from the wreck but there wasn’t anything that could be done to save the equipment.

Except of course, Harry ordered her a new, top-of-the-line camera while she showered in his bathroom.

After what felt like hours but was only maybe half at most, she finally exited the bathroom. Harry turned from lying on his bed to sitting on the edge watching her immediately. Her eyes were red-rimmed, hair damp. She looked adorable even when she was sad, and it was so unfair. She was wearing a T-shirt Harry pulled from one of his drawers. It had the Chargers logo across the front, and he wished more than anything it had his name on the back.

“Did that help?” He asked.

She nodded but held the towel out to him. “I don’t know where to put this,” she avoided his gaze which had to be next to impossible because Harry couldn’t tear his away from her. He took the towel and tossed it toward the corner of the room where his hamper lived, although he hadn’t done laundry in a week, and so the towel fell off the side to the pile beside it.

“Bunny,” he murmured. “Look at me please,” he whispered.

She shook her head, her eyes welling with tears. “I’m so embarrassed, I’ll cry again.”

“Y’have nothing t’be embarrassed ‘bout, Rookie, love,” his voice was gentle, he reached for her hip and pulled her toward him, opening his legs so she fit between his thighs. “What did he do?” He asked, keeping one hand on her hip and the other traveled up her arm, cupped the side of her neck and slid along to her face.

“You’ll get mad,” she whispered.

“M’already mad, kitten,” he reminded her.

“What is with you and the animal names?” Her voice was soft.

“You’re an adorable creature, Bunny, I don’t have a choice,” he smirked, spoke just as quietly as she did, but not falling for her dodging what he wanted to know. “Don’t distract me,” he brushed his fingertips softly along the outline of her face.

“You’ll be mad at me.”

“Never, Rookie. M’never mad at you,” he hoped he sounded as reassuring as he wanted to be. It was true. He was never mad at her.

“I bit his finger,” she mumbled. “Really hard.”

Harry tilted his head. “You what?”

“He...” she swallowed and pressed her face into the space of his shoulder and neck hiding. “He was choking me,” her voice was so quiet Harry had to strain to hear it. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the anger to stay at bay so she wouldn’t be scared. “And I couldn’t move and... and I just needed the right angle, so I bit his finger. Really hard. I tasted blood,” she explained.

Harry chuckled despite everything. “Good girl,” he pulled her to him and squeezed her tight. “And y’came t’me?” he mumbled thoughtfully cupping her face watching her eyes. He brushed his thumb along her cheek. It was selfish of him to ask when she was hurt. But he couldn't help it. She was his whole world whether she knew it or not and he needed to know.

“I didn’t want anyone else,” her skin turned the slightest pink. “Is that okay?”

Harry’s heart softened. “Yeah, Bunny. S’really okay,” he assured her, then he pulled her back against his shoulder, tucking her into his embrace. “The guys couldn’t find him... the coward,” he snipped.

Harry felt a smile on her lips warm his skin. He grinned half-heartedly and swayed her gently. “For the best,” she admitted. “I like your room,” she whispered glancing around. “Maybe I will take it.”

“S’fine with me,” he shrugged.

She stared at him pointedly. “I don’t want to live here for free.”

“Oh, come on, Rookie I have a hundred rooms with nothing in them.”

“I won’t live here for free.”

“Fine, but you’re not paying rent-prices. Y’can buy groceries or pay the electric bill. Or maybe the Internet bill. But not all three.”

She laughed and shook her head. “You’re insane.”

“And you’re keeping the car.”

“Certifiable.”

*

“Harry, are you awake?” She whispered.

“Mmm,” he hummed sleepily. Her soft voice in his bed was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. It was the first time they slept in his bed. Harry was a lot of things, and it was evident that possessive was a major one. He loved sleeping in her tiny bed when there was no room, so she always ended up burrowing into his side. Still, there something about having her in his room, his bed, wrapped in his blankets that made the Neanderthalic part of his mind undeniably happy. He kept space between them, as he always tried to maintain when they shared a bed. But he felt a compulsion to hold her hand between them as he stared at the ceiling unable to sleep thinking about how much he hated someone who hurt the pretty woman beside him.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Bunny,” he whispered quietly shaking his head. “Y’never have t’thank me. Not for that.”

“I do though,” she sounded like she was nodding. “I don’t know why you like me so much. Like... from the start... and still. I’ve been nothing but trouble.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t think s’true. And does that matter from the start?”

“I don’t know... it never really happened to me before...” she trailed off. “Kael and I were just around each other for a while—got to know each other and it made sense. Then we were together for a really long time... I never had someone just like me for me, right away without knowing anything else about me. I guess I’m just worried that if... if you do like me—and I do believe you when you say you do—it will change because it changed for him. I’m not that special, you know? I’m not a celebrity. I just take pictures and—”

Harry sighed, if he was visible in the night, she would see him rolling his eyes at the ceiling and shaking his head. “Y’know I had a bunch of contacts for women for all the different cities we visit, right?” He interrupted. It wasn’t the best segue in conversation, and it probably wasn’t a nice thing to hear when he was trying to convince her he liked her infinitely more than he ever liked anybody. Especially after the day she had.

There was a slight pause. If she said something like that to Harry, he would be jealous for days and would probably have to break another hockey stick. So, he was well aware he needed to give her a second to think through her emotions. “Yeah...?” Her voice was quiet again. Unsure.

He reached beside him for his phone on his nightstand. He unlocked it, turned the brightness down, blinking awkwardly against it so he wouldn’t hurt her eyes as well. He opened his messages and handed it to her.

There were a good number of unsaved numbers listed in the threads. Many had the same start of each message previewed before clicking on it. I am deleting your number because I’ve met—

“Harry,” she said softly.

“Open one,” he offered.

She shook her head. “Harry, you didn’t do anything—I don’t want to go through—”

He reached over and tapped on one of the messages.

—a really lovely girl and I want to take it seriously. I won’t be contacting you anymore... You were a great person to know. I wish you all the best. Xx Harry

“Harry,” she whispered breathlessly.

Only some had answered. From what she could see, most who had responded thought it was sweet; they understood where he was coming from, it was kind of him to reach out and not leave them hanging. Some were less happy for him but since they all knew what they signed up for, none appeared to be outright angry or derisive. Harry took his phone back and opened his contacts. If the unsaved numbers were to be believed, he should have had plenty more contacts listed. Instead, it was just teammates, coaches, his family.

And hers. Rookie 📷🐇

She bit her lip.

“I think ‘ve been waiting for you, Rookie, love. I never wanted someone more,” he put his phone back. “M’not kidding. I’ll wait forever,” he promised. She felt her face crumple in half. Emotional over and in complete disbelief that someone so kind and sweet was willing to wait for her when he could truly have anyone he wanted. Someone way more talented and beautiful than her. "Go t'sleep, Bunny," he whispered softly and pressed a kiss to her temple. "We can talk 'bout it tomorrow."

*

Harry made sure she had everything she needed for the day; he snuck into her phone to turn her alarm off. He put a note on the bedside table. No work today. Enjoy playing hooky, Bunny. But please stay so I can see you when I come home. She wished she had her camera so she could take a picture of the note, but her phone would suffice for now. She dreaded the thought of purchasing a new camera. But she needed to deal with one thing at a time. First of which meant breakfast and coffee. She headed to the kitchen after using the bathroom.

The doorbell rang at the exact same time. She peered through the window and saw a man in a black shirt with a green apron. She tilted her head. “Rookie?” He asked tentatively.

“Uh... yeah?”

“Here you go,” he handed her a drink—her favorite coffee and the man left.

She blinked. “How many times have you been here?”

“I was instructed to come every half hour with a fresh drink and wait five minutes until you answered,” he explained backing toward his car. She smirked sipping it. It was delicious.

“Did he pay you at least?” She called tapping her fingers against the plastic.

“Excessively!” He shouted with a grin, pulling his door closed. She smiled, closed the front door, locked it, before heading for the living room sipping her favorite kind of coffee from her favorite guy.

*

She heard the garage door open around five and the door creak from the mudroom attached to the garage to the house.

“Do you like chicken noodle soup?” She asked. “I know that sounds silly, because it’s a classic. But because it’s a classic, there was a time when I was in high school, and I swear I was sick for a month and all I ate was chicken noodle soup. I haven’t had any since, I think. But on a whim, I had some last week, and it was literally the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten,” she explained while Harry took his shoes off. She grabbed the bread she was toasting out of the oven, and she smiled as he slowly made his way to the kitchen.

He looked around the room for a moment. “Did y’clean?” He asked ignoring her rant about soup, he ran his finger along the thin side table that was directly next to the counter. It looked dusted, and the little trinkets were placed back on the table just so.

She smiled sheepishly and nodded. “I know you hate when I do stuff like this, but I was really bored. I shouldn’t be allowed to have a day off. Idle minds, you know? I also figured you must not have time to clean often with your schedule. This place isn’t even that dirty, and I think I’m the one that tracks in all the snow and dirt from the pond,” she explained.

He stared at her as she spoke, dropped his small duffle bag beside him.

She blinked at his weird stance as she stirred the soup in the big pot she was using. “Are you mad?”

His gaze was unmoving from her face. He tilted his head toward the laundry room, the sound of the dryer humming from the hallway. “And laundry?” He asked.

Now she felt like she was in trouble. “Well... you had a mountain of it in your room and I was finished cleaning. Which meant I was about to go insane due to boredom again,” she shrugged. “You’re mad,” she frowned. “I was just trying to do something nice.”

“Dishes?” He jutted his chin toward the empty sink.

“That’s on you for leaving them. You know I love dishes.”

“Grocery shopping?” He hummed.

“I figured if I’m going to live here, I may as well chip in since you won’t let me pay for—”

“What’s this?” He asked looking at the picture frames face down on the kitchen table. He picked one up and inspected it. She had selected several photos. Some of the team, some from her series of photo. There was even one of Marc and Michael. But naturally, the one he picked up was one of the photos from the gallery night.

Harry’s arm wrapped around her waist, his hand resting on her hip. While she looked at the woman holding his phone camera, Harry was gazing down at her. His smile was full of adoration. She picked it to be framed because even though the camera didn’t get a look at his pretty green eyes for one photo (which was truly a loss), she felt like the most beautiful thing in the world with the way he looked at her.

“Oh, I thought they were cute pictures, and we could put them—” Harry put the frame down, turned toward the stove and flicked the burner off. “Harry...? What are you—”

He then faced her; he slid his hands along both of her cheeks. Gently, he tilted her neck, so her eyes met his. “My pretty, pretty Bunny,” he murmured brushing the tip of his nose against hers. Her breath caught in her throat. Whatever smart remark she was going to make about him being bossy or extra was stuck on her tongue. His gaze dropped to her lips and then she was overwhelmed by the color green again. Her face felt hot with a blush that she couldn't stop and she was only seconds ahead of what his intention was. “Y’can tell me t’stop, Rookie, love. I don’t want t’rush it.”

“Please don’t stop,” she whispered.

“Oh Bunny, y’never have t’beg for me, ever,” his voice was deep, gravelly. Filled with desire and wanting.

And he wanted her.

Harry had waited a very long time to kiss her. But these last few seconds leading to their first kiss felt like a literal eternity, but finally his lips met hers.

She moaned softly, a quiet almost-whimper, nearly the exact moment his mouth touched hers. He was so gentle; it felt like his lips were hardly moving and the drag of his mouth was so sinful she could feel it burning. It burned her lips and every other inch of her skin. Her mind was so entranced with the feel of Harry’s lips between hers, the way his tongue slipped gently along the seam of her mouth, carefully coaxing her open so he could get a better taste of her.

Harry knew she would taste delicious. He didn’t know it was going to be so instantly addictive. But he shouldn’t have been surprised.

She was a little unsure how it happened—too distracted by the feeling of the prettiest man in hockey kissing her, but she was lifted to the counter, her legs around his waist. His hips flush against the edge of the counter. With one hand, he cupped the back of her head, his fingers winding in her hair. The other was at the small of her back, pulling her toward him.

“God Bunny,” he groaned and peppered kisses along her jaw and down her neck. “I’ve wanted this for s'long.” She shivered feeling overwhelmed with his desire. Harry had a way of making her feel special and she should have known kissing him wasn’t going to be the exception. She was nearly out of breath and didn’t know how Harry could keep kissing her. “You’re so perfect,” he whispered into her throat.

“Harry,” she whispered.

He moaned. “Oh, Rookie, y’say m’name like that m’gonna be done for. What d’you want, Bunny? Y’can have whatever y’want... anything. S’yours.”

She laughed silently, her shoulders shaking as his mouth worked across her collarbone to the other side of her throat. He was so tender and intentional in his kisses of where Kael hurt her, and he took all that pain away. “Nothing, I just... like—”

He groaned again and brought her lips back to his, kissing her so passionately it ached. “I like you so much, Bunny,” he whispered, his mouth dragging along her skin. “I don’t want you t’go. Please don’t close yourself off from me. I’ll do anything.”

She felt bad that he felt like he had to beg for her attention. He had it, and he always had it. If she was honest, since the very first time she met him. “I won’t, I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered.

“Oh, thank God,” he sighed and pulled her toward him. He wrapped his arms beneath her, supporting her weight and carried her to his room.

“Harry, baby, you gotta slow down,” she giggled.

He moaned or growled. Perhaps a little of both. He tucked his face into her neck again. “Y’call me baby, m’not gonna live.”

She laughed. “Oh, you have to.”

Carefully he laid her back on his mattress. Yeah, he slept beside her the night before. He had snuggled with her in her own bed several times as well. This was different. This was all her walls finally down. Her vulnerability and trust were on full display. Harry was the luckiest man in the world to witness it. To be trusted to take care of her. He didn’t know how anyone could betray such a sweet, perfect person.

“M’gonna kiss every inch of you,” he promised.

“You’ve been awfully patient, Harry. Don’t you want to jump to the good stuff?” Her cheeks warmed once more as she asked.

He shook his head. “No, not even a little. I want every single second of you. Every single kiss. I’d wait forever for you, Bunny.”

She didn’t deserve him, but she would happily keep him. “You’re too good,” she whispered cupping his face and stroking her thumbs along his cheeks. He rested his forehead against hers as he hovered beside her.

“M’not Rookie. You’re too good. Exceptionally intelligent, creative, and deliriously beautiful. My schedule is all kinds of fucked,” he reminded her. “I never had a girlfriend because I can only give you five months.

She smiled. “I’m literally with the team all the time, Harry.”

“But when y’open your studio, y’won’t be.”

“I’m not opening a studio,” she laughed shaking her head, her nose bumping his.

He rolled his eyes. He wanted to kiss her, hold her, and very much wanted to make her come all over him. But this was important to him because she was the most important thing to him. “Of course you are, Rookie. Y’have too much talent t’be wasting it on a group of rowdy hockey players.”

There was a wave of pride that bloomed over her. His unwavering support and constant belief in her. She grinned. “Harry Styles," she sighed. "You’re incredible. Number one twice for sure.”

He chuckled softly, ducking his gaze slightly at her compliment. It meant more than any other time he heard it because this was her saying it. “Thanks, Bunny,” he smiled and kissed her again lingering and holding her face in his hands like he never wanted to let go. “You’re pucking perfect.”

--

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[thelifetimechannel]

Bonus content for week 2 is text-based for a change. I’ve had a few people ask whether TLC would include alt Caliborn, the counterpart to the Calliope who predominated. He doesn’t appear in TLC proper, but I put together a mockup of what it might look like if he did. It was a chance to emphasize Caliborn’s insecurities and Calliope’s potential for arrogance, traits that are often overlooked.

If I were to include alt Caliborn in TLC, of course, I’d want to give him a whole storyline, which would probably involve him grappling with the fact that people are risking their lives to save Calliope but not him and so coming to terms with the human emotion called friendship. Also he’d swear to oppose Lord English out of spite, because why does he get to have all the fun? But that would be adding several updates to a project we have been trying to keep short, with mixed results. Maybe I’ll add it in for the “directors’ cut”. We’ll see.