#me screaming to my friend over text after finding it about it being a book about gay witches. 😭

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

hmm... are you sure?

[eevees-hobbies]

Honeyed Kisses Against Tender Flesh (Fem!Reader x Hayato Suo) - NSFW

Author’s Note: I got carried away with this one. But shoutout to those of us who write for Hayato Suo cuz we really are working with crumbs. Like he’s whatever we say he is until we get more information. 

Synopsis: Your friend Kotoha and brother Hiragi are worried about your relationship with Suo. It all comes to a head at the beach, to your embarrassment and Suo's delight. No big deal, though; you’ll just have sex against Hiragi’s truck or whatever. 

Content Warning: I’m a really bad judge when it comes to dark content. To me, it’s a spectrum and while I don’t consider this particular story truly dark, others might. So I encourage you to read the warnings and make the best decision for yourself:

Smut with a plot, the obsessive kind of love, possessiveness, hickeys, bruises, biting, spit, enjoyment of public humiliation, teasing, licking of blood, sex/nudity in public, super brief mention of a golden shower, praising/worshipping language, unprotected sex, no-pulling out despite being asked (wrap it up, folks!), like he straight up says “nah.” 

Also, please note that you are written as Hiragi’s sister in this story. I do not expand on your relationship, so you might be his half-sister, full-sister, step-sister, adopted sister, etc. I say this for my readers who may hold a racial/ethnic identity different from Hiragi, hoping that you can still feel like this story is for you (because it is <3). Minors Do Not Interact.

Word Count: 3.2K

Divider by Saradika. Story banner by me.

On a day when you and your Bofurin friends decide to visit the beach, the unforgiving intensity of the sun makes you feel as though you’re simmering in a boiling pot. No one except you is ill-prepared; the men are wearing various colored shorts that seemingly match their personalities, and their unclothed torsos are on full, unapologetic display.

Kotoha, sitting on a beach towel next to you, is in a three-piece halter bikini set with a sheer sarong skirt that accentuates her curves. Even your brother Hiragi has abandoned his usual band shirt to showcase his well-toned arms and abs. You find it pretty horrifying but good for him, you think. 

It’s hard not to be jealous of all the bare, suntanned skin as you take inventory of your fit. You are wearing an oversized grey hoodie and sweatpants combo that covers every inch of you. Underneath your hefty clothes is a simple but cute black two-piece bikini you originally planned to show off that day. 

You are roasting under the sun's rays—and in your anger—as you glare at the person responsible for your attire: Hayato Suo. 

He’s sitting on the beach towel with you, his perfectly parted hair blowing softly against the breeze. Despite his attempt at trying to appear inconspicuous in reading his book, you can tell that he’s very much aware of your disdain for him with the way the corners of his mouth twitch upwards. 

Kotaho lowers her sunglasses so she’s looking at you over the rim of the frames.

“Why are you wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants at the beach of all places? I’m getting hot just looking at you.”

You shift uncomfortably, having hoped that this was not a conversation that would come up. You instinctively pull the collar of the sweatshirt higher until it’s tucked snuggly under your chin. “It’s not so bad! I just have to stay hydrated!”

Kotoha leans closer to you and lowers her voice, obviously trying not to catch the attention of Suo. “But why? Is this a cry for help because of you-know-who? Say the word, and I will scream.”

You and Kotoha have become close since you applied for a position to work at Cafe Pothos. She was your boss, but she’s also the embodiment of a girls-girl. You bonded over cooking and annoying brother figures; there wasn’t a thing you didn’t know about each other. 

So color her shocked when one day she picked up her cell phone after receiving a series of texts that were coming in rapid succession. She had assumed the sender was Umemiya, but instead, they were from you!

8:50 PM: OMG 8:50 PM: You won’t believe what just happened to meeeeeeee ihfdnf 8:51 PM: SUO! SUO! 8:52 PM: He KISSED me!  8:55 PM: HELLO?! The love of my life just put his tongue in my mouth and you HAVE THE AUDACITY TO NOT ANSWER!? I’m heading to the cafe right fucking now.

Kotoha was confused, not because she didn’t think you deserved the world—you deserved the world and more. She was confused because she couldn’t picture you and Suo together. He was pleasant whenever he came into the cafe, only ordering tea and always leaving a big tip. But other than that, she didn't know much about him, and no one did, and that was a difficult thing to accomplish in a small town. 

So when you finally ran into the cafe, practically colliding into the glass door as you shuffled in, Kotoha poured you a fresh cup of coffee, sat you down, and asked if you were sure about this.

Were you sure it was a good idea to date a guy who wore an eyepatch, had never been seen eating, and had a different story about his life every time he was asked? You assured her that Suo was the man of your dreams and you’ve never been more sure of something in your life. And while Kotoha may not know much about Suo, there were small moments that felt as though you were gradually building up to this kiss all along. 

The way he’d offer to walk you home even though it was out of his way, how his hand would brush up against yours and linger when passing you coins to pay for his tea, and god, that smile of his that usually didn’t reach his eyes but did when he was talking to you.

You were adamant that this was something you wanted.

You didn’t exactly come out as “official,” though. In a strange way, your relationship just “was.” 

Your friends acted as though you had always been together, and the way Suo became a constant in your life—walking you home after every shift from the cafe, texting and calling you more often, holding your hand in public, and taking you out on dates to your favorite places—made it difficult to remember what life was like before him. You quickly became the shadow of the other, and not without concern from Kotoha and Hiragi. Some would call your love for each other smothering, but to you; it was anything but that—it was perfect. 

“Everything is fine, Kotoha, I promise.”

She lets out a sigh and pulls her sunglasses back up. You can see the reflection of the guys in her dark shades—Hiragi, Umemiya, Sakura, and Kaji playing volleyball, sand kicking up as shouts of, “get that, doofus!’ and “who are you calling doofus!?”  traveling over to you but being drowned out by the roar of waves breaking shore.

A bead of sweat travels down the side of your face, and you look up at the sun, hoping to will it away with a pitiful look.

“Why not take off that burdensome outfit, sweetheart?” 

Your head snaps in the direction of Suo, the tone in his voice–thick with faux concern–alluding to the pleasure he’s getting from watching you like this. He’s all too aware of what you’re hiding—he’s the culprit who put you in this situation.

He shrugs innocently, “you’re developing sweat stains,” you follow his finger as he points at you. To your horror, giant wet spots have formed at your armpits and collar. You groan, the realization that if you don’t shed these clothes soon, you’ll likely meet your untimely demise via heatstroke—and that’s a very unsexy way to go. 

A shaky hand grips the drawstring of the sweatshirt, and you peel it off with the sweatpants following shortly after. Before you can set the clothes beside you, Kotaha lets out an audible gasp. You wince, knowing that your movements and her sharp intake of breath will surely draw the boys' attention—a result that you were trying your damnedest to avoid.

You thought Hiragi’s booming voice would be the first to reach your ears, but instead, it’s Sakura’s. 

“What happened to YOU?!” 

The volleyball spinning through the air hits him square in the chest; a loud thud has him doubling over in pain, but it’s not enough to break away Hiragi’s stare from the bruises and hickeys that litter your neck, chest, and thighs.

After gathering himself, Sakura stands up and turns his attention to Suo, “You should really keep a better watch over your girl. She’s obviously getting her butt kicked somewhere-”

Sakura is unable to finish before Hiragi interjects. He takes a step forward, and if you weren’t on sand, you’d be almost positive that the sheer force would shake the earth. “Suo, what did you do to my sister's skin?”

You stare at Hiragi, deep veins already protruding from his forehead. If looks could kill, Suo would be dead right now. You give a sideglance at your boyfriend, who has two hands raised near his head and his shoulders shrugged up to appear non-threatening. 

“I am NOT doing this right now!”  You proclaim, hurriedly picking up the keys to Hiragi’s car and padding through the sand, trying your damnedest to escape the sound of rising voices. 

Suo follows you soon after de-escalating the situation. Assuring Hiragi that he may have gotten carried away with the amount of hickeys and bruises he left on your skin wasn’t easy by any means, but you two were both consenting adults, so there wasn’t much Hiragi could do anyhow. He desperately wanted to add that you didn’t mind the bruises when they were happening to you—but that didn’t seem wise.

Hiragi’s truck is parked next to the property line between the beach and the expanse of forest. When you arrived, the parking lot was full of people, but beach-goers packed their belongings and left as the day neared its end.

Suo can’t see you as he approaches the truck's passenger side, so he assumes you’re on the driver's side. As he rounds the corner, he’s met with the sight of you bending over and attempting to fish the keys off the ground, which must have fallen. The sight of your ass completely swallowing the seat of your bikini bottoms has him suddenly leaning against the car for support and blood flowing south. Even with one eye covered, he can see the outline of your puffy pussy. The bikini is much better, he thinks to himself.

You turn around, hearing the sound of gravel shifting quietly—hoping that your brother hasn’t followed you, but it’s Suo. 

“Well, that was awk-“ you begin, but you're cut off. The fluidity and quickness of his motions still surprise and catch you off guard. He pins you in place to the truck with his body—chest to chest.  

You can see arousal churning in his eye as his now rock-hard cock presses against your thigh. At that moment, you’re thankful that the shade of the trees shrouds this side of the truck and that anyone coming from the beach would need to walk around the vehicle to catch you in the act.

For Suo, the build-up of knowing what you were trying to hide from the group and the eventual reveal of his handiwork had given him one hell of a rush. Being in on the secret was fun, but the way Hiragi’s eyes darted over your skin, the way he caught Kaji’s cheeks reddening as his eyes swept over your exposed and marked-up flesh, it was practically unbearable.

Suo’s hand tugs at the string of your bikini top, and it doesn’t take long before the flimsy fabric releases and drifts to your feet. You shiver as cool air licks at your breasts and nipples, hardening the sensitive buds upon contact. It isn’t until Suo’s warm hands cup and massage your breasts that you let out a whimper; his touch feels firm and needy, delivering pinches and squeezes to the over-sensitive and bruised flesh.

“S-someone could c-catch us!” You protest in a hushed whisper, but you’re not pushing him away—you tilt your head back to rest it against the truck and arch your spine to give him more access to you.

“They’d be so lucky,” he growls softly into your neck.

As your stomach twists in arousal and nervousness, you know that the Hayato Suo who is fondling you in the parking lot against your brother's truck is a different Hayato than the one your friends interact with. 

Suo is often poised and has immense control over his emotions, but sometimes, he gets so overcome by desire that it feels like a gaseous cloud is seeping into your pores and lungs. 

You’ve become a welcome victim to the Suo that likes to grip you so desperately that he leaves bruises, bites you so hard that sometimes it breaks the skin, and fucks you so roughly that you’re confident that you’ve experienced the closest thing you can to death.  

“Suo, we shouldn’t. They saw my bruises and the hickeys. Toma might kill you.”

“You can’t convince me that this isn’t something you want. This,” he presses two fingers against the seat of your bikini, which sink into the moistness of you, “tells me otherwise.”

Your face grows hot because he’s right. You’re not innocent in your shared dynamic like Kotoha, and Hiragi would like to think—you crave him just as much as he craves you. 

You’re just as much of a thrill-seeker as he is but you two have to be quick; anyone in your group could come looking for you any second—and nothing would destroy your arousal more than Hiragi seeing your boyfriend fucking you in public. Suo would enjoy that, though. 

It’s as though he can read your mind because Suo is pulling down your bikini bottoms so that they hang around your ankles. 

His lips are on yours, his kisses somehow hungrier than his touches. Suo kisses you as though he’s found solace against the plush of your lips and the treasure housed within your mouth. He tilts his head so his tongue can explore every inch of you deeper; he’s unapologetically devouring you.

When he finally pulls away for air, his voice is low and almost gravelly, a departure from his usual calm tone.  

“You make me become the most disrespectful version of myself, Y/N.”

His fingers roll and pinch at your nipples, but his eye is on yours. His gaze is intense, and even though he looks at you as though you are his prey and he is your predator, the last thing you want to do is look away.

He continues, “I want nothing more than to be the nice, sweet boyfriend your friends and brother want me to be, but you turn me into someone I don’t recognize.”

He’s pushing his shorts down, and you groan at the sight of him. His dick sits straight up against his abdomen with a slight curve, an aggressive vein pulsates on the side, and the crimson tip of it is smeared in an ungodly amount of precum. How can such a pretty dick look so angry? 

Without much prep or warning, he pushes into your wet sex; he’s so deep so quickly that your body jerks reactively. 

He can’t hold back the moan that escapes his lips at finally burying himself in you. His mouth has found purchase against your neck; both he and you can feel your pulse quickening, firing rapidly against his tongue as it reaches out to lick at your skin. 

“When I look at you, just as you are, I want to ruin you. So if that means I’m covering you with bruises, hickeys, or the most intimate parts of me, so be it.” 

He sinks his teeth into your neck, and the sharp pain makes your eyes roll back. The searing sensation doesn't last long as his tongue laps up the droplets of blood that bubble from the punctures.  

“Tell me that you’re just as obsessed with me as I am with you,” his fingers are digging into the soft flesh of your thighs as he holds your legs around his waist, allowing him to bounce you on his cock.. 

“H-Hayato, I’m just as obsessed with you, baby. I promise.”

And you mean it. You’ve never felt a love quite so all-consuming and suffocating. He’s explored every inch of your body; at first, the way his eyes drank you in made you squirm, but he assured you that he was simply appreciating what was his—you wouldn’t fault an art curator for appraising the Mona Lisa, would you, Y/N? No? Then let me be.

Suo has licked parts of you with enthusiasm, parts that you’d be embarrassed to admit to anyone. 

And for you, the taste of him is just as nourishing. When he pulls your head back by your hair,  his hungry eye communicating to you without him having to say it, you find yourself eagerly opening your mouth and accepting his spit on your outstretched tongue. 

The good girl muttered in his smooth voice afterward, and his infamous smile that reaches his eyes when he looks at you makes your clit twitch. 

It doesn’t matter if it’s his spit, cum, or other golden liquid of his, you want it all. 

During intimacy, Suo tears you down to the most basic, hedonistic version of yourself—his delivery never includes harsh language in the traditional sense—he would absolutely never call you out of your name. You are far too important to be called something derogatory. Sometimes you’ll refer to yourself as “his whore” or “his slutty girl,” and it will make him leak so much precum he has to catch his breath, but he hasn’t reached a point in which he has personally referred to you as those titles…yet.  

For now, he uses deft fingers and honeyed words dripping in veiled threats of orgasm denial and overstimulation to push you to the precipice of your pleasure—and you trust him to build you back up afterward with softly cooed hymns of worship and strokes of your tender skin. To Suo, you are a goddess, a deity to be revered. To Suo, you are everything. 

And it isn’t until moments like this that you see his mask slip. Your usually stoic boyfriend's mouth opening and closing in pleasure the same way that yours is, soft guttural moans escaping his lips and his brow furrowing, obviously about to lose control to you—-for you.

“You are everything, dove. You are my everything.” He groans as your silky walls clench around him, clutching him for dear life.

“You like it when I compliment you, pretty girl?”

You give him a grunt of approval, feeling yourself so close to becoming undone as he fills your head up with chants of his devotion.

At this point, each thrust has his dick bottoming out into your sopping-wet cunt. Pelvis to pelvis, you can feel every inch of you stretching to accommodate him. His maroon-colored pubic hair tickles at your skin, dampening at the contact of your slick as deep thuds from frantic thrusts fill the air.

And even though you’re only participating in a quickie, a rarity for you both, your cunt still drools just the same, streaks of it managing to glide down your inner thigh and leave droplets at his feet. 

“S-suo,” your nails dig into his shoulders, resulting in a delicious hiss from his lips. “Y-you have to pull out! You aren’t wearing a c-condom!”

Suo presses his lips to your ear; you can barely make out what he’s saying over the soft gasps and the way he’s suckling at your earlobe that he has pulled between his teeth.

“I can’t. You’re mine, and I want to fill you up. So you have to take it, dove. Take all of it.” 

And the way Suo says it, you know that he isn’t asking; he’s telling you what he plans to do to your body because you are an extension of him–you are his, and it’s his right to cum in you without silly obstacles like “protection.”

His pounding against your cervix feels animalistic, and the force of him fucking you is making the truck rock back and forth. 

You bite your lip and hold onto him for dear life as that oh-so-familiar feeling takes over. Your thighs squeeze him, and to muffle the scream bubbling up into your throat, you take a note out of Suo’s handbook and bite his shoulder so hard that he sees a hot, white flash. 

In that moment, you give each other everything—all of you becomes all of him—mixing into a mess of creamy, frothy white essence that drips down balls, legs, and thighs.

Between soft kisses on the fresh hickeys and bite marks along your neck, Suo chuckles, “Hiragi is going to be upset.”

[lingeriae]

SCREAM 4 ME!

warnings - stalker-ish behaviour from my man connie, possessive and toxic connie, sexual content including: oral (r recieving) spit, pussy slaps and fingering, gore and blood mentioned, cursing, knives reader is black and female!

connie couldn't decide what pissed him off more. the fact that this bitch-made ass white boy was feeling up on you or the fact that you were allowing him to feel up on you.

his tongue poked his inner cheek as he watched the scene infront of him, you on one of the desk in the classroom with eren between your spreaded legs, a hand on your thigh and the other on your waist as he opened his shit pit to say something to you which caused you to turn away your head. it's like he started seeing red, and no it wasn't pink eye.

the sudden urge to walk in the classroom and stab eren in his throat haunted connie's mind as he continued to watch the scene, his jaw clenched shut and his hands turning into fist at the sides allowing the veins that traced his arms to become prominent. his hand reached for the door handle, intending to create the scene he had in mind with bashing eren's head in, until a familiar voice called out his name. turning his head connie comes face to face with armin who wore a concerned look on his face,

"you good, bro?" the blond asked, tilting his head at the male as he looked him up and down, stopping at his tightly clenched fist.

it's as if his whole demeanor changed in a second, face going blank while he shoved his hands in his pocket. armin's eyebrows rose to his forehead as connie nodded his head before walking away, while watching his back armin thought about how unusual his normally out-going friend was being but shaked his head thinking it was simply an overreaction.

the door for the classroom door opened, eren walked out before you did, pushing pass armin with an odd look on his face.

armin's eyebrows rose further, wondering what the fuck was up with everyone today and why you two were in that classroom to begin with. "what's wrong with him?" he asked as you wrapped your hands around yourself, looking down at your black and white converse.

you shrug in response to his question leaving armin left in the dark yet again, it was like he wasn't even your bestfriend anymore, like you didn't even trust him anymore.

but he gets it, with what's been going on in the past few weeks he wouldn't trust anyone either, but he was still your friend—or was he?

armin couldn't keep track anymore.

with a huff, armin adjusts the books he held in his hand, looking away from you and down the hall where connie stormed off to. "well, whatever you two were doing in there, connie saw and he looks pretty pissed." at this you look up, your eyes wide and your plump lips parted, the expression only confusing armin even more.

"w-what? do you know where he went?" you stammer, looking around as if you could catch sight of the brown eyed male. the blonde infront of yoou doesn't give you a verbal responce, simply raising his hand and pointing in the direction he saw connie disappear in. you mumble a quiet 'thanks' before running off in the direction he pointed it, desperate to find the boy.

breathing heavily you rest your body against a wall after having ran all over the school in search of connie and being unsucessful in your search. your phone suddenly vibrates in your pocket and you take it out, seeing a text from an unknown number.

can't wait to make u scream.

your eyebrows draw together at the text just as a ping comes in, the number sends another text but this time it's a picture. a picture of you leaning against a wall, the exact wall you were leaning on now.

slipping your phone in your back pocket you look around expression twisting in one of fear, "this isn't funny." you say outloud to no one in particular, pushing off the wall and walking away quickly.

you could feel the hair on your arms standing up, as well as your hands shaking as you placed them in the pocket of your hoodie, heart racing rapidly when you started hearing heavy footsteps behind you not daring to turn around.

the footsteps behind you sped up, and as they did so did your breathing and the beat of your heart, your throat went dry as you grew terrified of who—or what was behind you. you turned your head at the side a little to finally get a glimpse of who was behind you only to see exactly what you hoped not to.

a cloaked figure, with a blade and a mask.

you started running, taking in little gasps for air every now and then, tears building up at your lashline and your feet begining to burn in your high-top converses.

'why me?' was all you could think as the figure started running after you, close on your heel. you had never troubled anyone and kept to yourself for most of your highschool years, so you didn't understand why this mysterious serial killer was coming after you of all persons.

sure the killer killed a few of your friends, but they were all assholes who had beef with everybody, and you weren't like them. you had conflict with no one—-being the most liked girl in school.

so why you?

a squeak fell from your lips as you bumped into a large figure, almost falling on your ass before a sturdy arm came out grasp your waist. you look up to your savior only to come face to face with eren, his face morphing into one of concern as his teal eyes flickered up and down your face. pink lips parted for a split second before closing again when you grasp his shirt and pull him into a nearby closet.

eren looked down at you with furrowed brows, parting his lips to speak again but being cut off by your fingers pressed against his lips, listening for the sound of the heavy footsteps. his hands that found their way to your waist, jade eyes boring into you as you looked at the door expectingly. with a sigh you remove your finger from eren's lips, nibbling on your own as you looked up at him.

he raises and eyebrow, "what's up?" although he's confused, the tone of his voice is soft and comforting and it causes you to lean your head against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. his arms come to wrap around you tenderly, offering you the comfort you need and signaling you to rest your body against his. the look on his face is one of concern as he kisses your head top and rubs your back.

"t-they were chasing me eren." you whisper. too afraid to talk any louder in case 'they' might hear you.

"who?" your about to answer his question when the door of the janitor closet is flung open, the cloaked figure from before standing at the door, knife glinting dangerously as he raises it with a tilted head.

"me."

a 'slash' is sounded through the air when the killer brings the knife down, plunging it into eren's shoulder. screaming you push the figure, feeling the hard muscles underneath his coat flex beneath your finger tips as he's caught off guard and stumbles outside of the closet. it gives you enough time to close the door again, a broken cry leaves your lips as the killer begins to bang on the door furiously before a knife appears right above your arm, slicing it a bit.

you keep a firm grip on the door handle as the killer continues to bang on the door and pierce it with his knife that was painted with erens blood, tears run down your face as you watch him groaning against the wall, blood coating each of his pretty fingers. eren makes eye-contact with you before walking over to you with his hand still pressed against the wound, a hiss leaving his lips as he places his hand over yours to help keep the door in place.

"eren no y-your hurt." you whisper with a shake of your head, but make no move to push him away from the door as the banging intensifies, you only watch as his brown hair frames his pretty face as he tilts his head and gives you a pained smile. "m'okay, promise princess."

you start praying.

praying that someone will hear the loud bangings and notice the physcopath that stands outside of the door with his bloody knife and murderous intentions. your palms began to get sore and your legs feel wobbly from the fear that runs through your vains, the cut on your arm suddenly makes itself known as it begans to pulse with an unbearable pain. you wonder how eren feels if your scratch hurts so bad, you wonder if you'll make it out alive.

a shrill ring echos throughout the walls of the closet, and the banging pauses. you look at eren and he looks at you, both of you waiting with baited breaths for something to happen, your heart beating through your ears.

the sound of multiple footsteps and talking in the halls causes you to lean your body against the door with a shaky sigh, your hands shaking as you moved to open the door wincing at the feeling of sore palms against the metal.

it takes five seconds for people to notice you and eren, sly remarks on the tip of their tongues until someone pointed out the obvious.

"they're fucking bleeding! someone get help!"

an arm wraps around your middle and your hands come into contact with a sturdy chest, eyes meeting with one of a familiar honey colour.

his freckled face had twisted up with a look of 'concern'. pretty pink plump lips downturned into a frown, and his forehead frowned as his thick eyebrows drew together, "what the fuck happened?" connie asks, the question sounding so aggressive but his touch was gentle and soft as he rubbed circles in your waist and held your injured arm.

you couldn't even tell he was lying, taking that glint in his eye for worry. how could you be so fucking naive?

you don't respond, only wrapping your arms around his neck and burrying your face in his shoulder, letting all your tears flow not caring that you were getting his white t-shirt wet.

connie's hands find their way to your back, rubbing it soothingly. his lips twitching at your attention, eyes dragging up to meet eren who looked at him with a blank look. he only tilted his head, looking the brunette up and down once before pulling away from you, his warm and large hands cupping your face, eyes glittering with warmth—drawing you in deep.

"c'mon, lets get you patched up, mama."

your fingers traced figures on connies chest as you rested your head against his torso, giggling when he grunted cause you traced your finger over his nipple. eyes never leaving his pretty face, taking note of ever single detail on it. how it slightly glowed under the light of the tv, how his lashes almost otuched his cheek, how his pretty pink lips were jutted out in a frown-like manner, how his botton nose scrunched up when one of the characters on the tc said some dumb shit—silver stud shining with the tv light.

he can feel your gaze burning the side of his face, when he looks down he see's your pretty eyes gazing up at him as you do that shit with your pretty plump lips slightly parted,nibbling on your lower lips, that same expression you make when you want something from him.

"you watchin me or the movie?" he sasses, pinching your side.

you smile prettily, looking at the tv to see the killer chasing the pretty girl with a machete in his hand, and looking back at connie fluttering your lashes at him. "that shit makes my screen crawl, rather watch you and get my pussy wet."

a sound that sounds dangerously close to a whimper falls from connie lips, his eyes getting glossy and low as he stares at you with his lips parted, wetting them with his tongue while he looked away staring at the tv. he bit his lips as he looked back at you, cheeks heating up and his underwear suddenly feeling tight.

"you can keep talking your shit, im not fucking you with your crippled ass arm." he says, giggling at the offended expression you now wore. you push up off of him, folding your arms across your chest and staring a head of you instead of at him. "so I get one little injury and im crippled? ian even wanna fuck you anyways nigga-"

an arm is wrapped around your throught before you can even finish your sentence, it's warm and it causes you to push your thighs together as you suddenly feel your panties getting slightly damp. connie's expression not helping your situation at all, pink lips quirked up into a smirk and honeyed eyes were glossed over and dark with lust.

it made your body warm and tingly, heat making it's way to your face when he pulls you on top of him, his lips brushing against yours but not quite touching them while his nose rubbed against yours, allowing you to feel the piercing that sat on top of it.

"whatchu say?" he whispers, eyes holding a mischevious look as he looked at you, hands squeezing your ass. "nothin." you mumble, growing bashful from all the attention he was giving you. connie smiled smugly, rubing his nose against yours. "mmm, that's what I thought you said."

you couldn't even get to respond as his plushy lips were mashed against yours, lips smacking together as you both made out messily, almost devouring each other.

the taste of his lips was addicting, and you couldn't get enough, sucking his tongue and listening to the sweet whimpers he lets out at the mere action.

connie's hands find there place on your hips as you begin to roll yourself against his hips, feeling the tip of his dick beneath his sweatpants bump against your clit with each grind of your hips. your hands grazed his nape as you continued to move against him, smiling at the groan he let out.

"(★)," he pauses as your pussy runs over his cock once more, grunting at the feeling. "s-shit, mama stop doing that."

his voice is deep and whiny, it holds a tone of desperation but restraint. the muscle in his jaw ticks as he holds you waist in place, slouching against the couch and taking deep breaths before giving you a stern look.

"im not about to fuck you when your injured," you know he means it from the look he gives you, and it makes your pretty lips tip down in a frown, pushing off of him to sit down on the couch not laying on his chest anymore.

you can feel his eyes burn holes in the side of your face as you keep your eyes on the tv, suddenly intrested in the man using a chainsaw to slice through the girl while she was still alive.

"okay."

it goes quiet after that, connie only continues to stare at you, guilt pooling at his stomach as he continued to stare at you. licking his lips, he sighs and slouches more in the couch, running a hand down his face before looking back at you.

connie knows all you really want is his comfort, especially after what happened—but he's still upset that you made eren touch on his body like that. he knows all you want is a distraction from everything, but he has to punish you a little.

but maybe he can punish you and pleasure you at the same time.

a boy-ish smile makes it way to connie's face show-casing his pretty dimples, the look is almost innocent, but his eyes clear up the whole 'innocent' act, showing clear signs that man was about to fucking devour you.

the tap that's delievered to your thigh causes you to look up, a shudder goes down your spine as your eyes meet connie's glossed over ones, full to the brim with lust like you would be in a few minutes.

"what?" you say it so meekly, it makes connie's grin widen.

in a quick motion, your back is pressed against the couch, mout falling open to let out a gasp whilst connie holds unto your legs, spreading them open.

"connie--" your words are cut off by him pressing a kiss to your pussy, face heating up as it flutters from the simple action, "lay down and lemme eat your pussy." he mumbles, mouth still pressed against your clothed cunt, a hand pressing against your stomach as you attempted to sit up.

"b-but you said," he drags your sweatpants down in one big swoop, throwing the sweatpants over hs shoulder in a wuick motion, tongue swipping at the corner of his lips, hazel brown eyes glaring at the wet spot in your panties with an almost anger look on his face. "know what the fuck I said, don't lemme have to tell you to lay your ass down again mami." your arousal almost floods your panties hazardly, your brownskin suddenly feeling hot as you looked away from him to watch the tv as a distraction only for the screen to go turn black.

a hand is wrapped around your throat again, turning you to face connie, his nose against your cheek as he kisses you, pulling away for a second allowing you to feel the tiny huffs of air he lets out. "ion want you watching anything, or anyone else but me." he whispers squeezing your neck a little before pressing his lips against yours.

your overwhelmed by him, feeling him touch you all over your body. squeezing, fondling, kissing. it was getting to you, your pussy specifically, and you couldn't help but want him to live under your skin.

he quickly takes off your panties, smirking giddly as he places them in the pocket of his sweatpants. your plush and wet pussy now on display for him, hole fluttering every now and then around nothing but air.

"shit ma, you so wet..." he sucks in a breath as he brushes a finger over your clit, your body jerked in reaction.

he gives you one last kiss on your pussy, finally leaning down and placing a his lips on your warmth.

wet muscle is felt moving up and down on your pussy before connie's mouth encloses on your clit, gently taking the bud into his mouth and sucks on it.

"pussy taste so fucking good," he mumbles, mouth still on your pussy, the deep vibration of his voice sending chills throughout your whole body. your hands grip his head as he continues to make-out with your pussy, eyes almost crossing from how good he was making you feel. "mm, connie."

"yeah, that's right say my fucking name mama, gonna have you screaming for me in a minute."

too fucked out and lost in the pleasure, you don't even take heed to his words, only focused on the feeling of his mouth working against your pussy like magic, gripping his head harder, the spiky hair of his buzzcut not bothering you one bit.

your back arches off the couch with a gasp as connie unexpectedly pushes a finger in you, his mouth still on your pussy as his slender fingers curl inside of your spongey walls causing you toes to curl in ecstasy. connie only smirked as you begin grinding unto his face, fingers thrusting in and out of you, finding the perfect rhythm to drive you over the edge. "feels so good con," your voice is breathy and high as you whisper out the words, holding unto connie as if your life depend on it.

"yeah?" he asked, licking his lips, hooded hazel eyes connecting with yours from between your parted legs, fingers never stopping once. "you gonna cum for me?"

"uh huh." a hiccup left you, tempting connie to smile once more as he increased the speed of his fingers, his plump pink lips attaching themselves back to your cunt.

he swirls his tongue around your clit while his fingers pump in and out of you, watching with awe at the creamy clear liquid that encases his fingers.

as he continued you could feel the knot in your stomach quickly tightening, about to snap at any given time,your back arched off of the seat of the couch, thighs shaking as your vision became blurry with tears.

"gonna cum, connie m' gonna c-cum slow down!" you whine, trying to push a away his head. you freeze at the look he gives you, having no time to think about it as your orgasm washes ov4er you like a heavy wave.

connie doesn't stop as you cum, slurping you up as if you were his last meal. he only stops when he witnesses the trembling of your thighs, sitting up and giving you a kiss on your cheek before leaving the room.

"where you goin?" you mumble with a hoarse voice, lifting up your body to watch the muscles of his back move as he walks, he stops and looks at you over his shoulder.

"gon get you some water." you mumble a soft okay in responce before leaning back in against the cushion behind you, hissing as you felt something hard poke you in your back.

"this fool don't ever know how to clean up right." you mumble as you lift the pillow,

the item beneath it causes you to pause your movements, your plump lips parting in shock as confusion and fear ran through your veins.

a ghostface masked laid beneath the pillow, a speck of blood on the cheek that almost stared at you mockingly. you place a hand over your mouth as you felt tears make it's way to your lashline, your body backing up off of the couch and causing you to fall.

"ma?" the sound of connie's voice causes you to freeze, and you hurridely get up off of the floor and move away from him. his eyebrows furrowed as he looked you up and down, "wha-"

"you’re r ghostface." a shudder goes throughout your body at the blank look he gives you, his head turning to look at the mask on the couch befor elooking back up at you with a sigh. he places the water he carried on the table, you watch his every move carefully, making sure he doesn't get too close to you.

"ma, c'mere." he says, putting his hands in his pockets, his honey coloured eyes staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face.

"no."

his jaw tightens at your responce, head tilting as he runs his tongue over his teeth.

"m' not gonna ask again." it was almost like a threat, and it only scared you more.

your heart almost felt like it was about to fail as you stared at connie for a few seconds before running towards the door.

dumb fucking move.

a hand suddenly yanks you back, making your back rest against connie's sturdy chest.you draw in a brreath as a knife is suddenly placed at your throat, slowly tilting your head up so you could meet connie's eyes.

they glinted dangerously, somehow holding you captive. "don't fucking run from me, you crazy baby?" his words caused your breath to hitch, your legs shaking with fear as you looked up at him.

"don't try that shit again, you hear me?" you nod your head slowly causing connie to let out a hiss, shaking his head. "words mama, know you know them."

"I head you con." you say, tears filling your eyes.

connie licked his lips, showing off his dimples as he smiled at your obedience.

"good girl, and if you try that shit again, ima make you scream."

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 [𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘]

PAIRINGS — Violet Bridgerton x fem!Reader [Modern!AU]

SUMMARY — Reader calls Violet for a favour on her day off.

WORD COUNT — 2.8K

WARNINGS — none

NOTE — Getting to find out more about Reader in this chapter! I hope you all enjoy :)

𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑿𝑰𝑰𝑰: 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑬𝑵 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑱𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹

Violet was not particularly used to getting calls from you on your days off. At the moment, they were few and far between and often you would use them to rest and disconnect, so when a call came through, there was a large chance that it was an emergency. 

This time, when your name flashed across the screen along with a photo that was courtesy of Hyacinth, Violet assumed the worst. You had both been working nonstop for the gala, among other things; the situation with Landon’s arrest was heating up again, as if it already hadn’t caused enough trouble.

What she was not expecting, however, was to hear multiple screaming children on the other end of the line when she picked up. 

“Is everything okay?” 

“No one is dead if that’s what you're asking,” you said. “Yet.” 

“Where in the world are you? I can barely hear anything,” Violet tried to listen past the noise on the phone. 

“I can get into the details later,” you said. “And I’m so sorry to call you like this, but I really need a favour.” 

“Text me the address, I’m coming,” she nodded. 

“But you don’t even know what the favour is,” you said, a hint of disbelief in your voice before turning around and yelling, “Oi! Don’t eat that! It’s not food!” 

“Doesn’t matter. I’m coming. Text me,” she repeated and hung up the phone, getting herself ready while you texted her the details. 

She let Gregory and Hyacinth know she would be out for a bit and got in the car, punching the address into her GPS before being on her way, until she reached a home in a part of London she didn’t frequent very often. 

When she knocked on the door, you opened it, looking exhausted. 

“Don’t ask,” you shook your head and she nodded, trying to bite back a chuckle. 

“What’s the situation?” she asked, noticing the house was much more quiet than when you had called. 

“Well, I’ve got them distracted with the telly for a moment, but that won’t last forever.” 

Violet peeked into the living room and noticed at least ten children sitting there, watching some sort of CBBC program. 

“I feel like I’ve stepped into an alternate dimension,” Violet looked back at you. “What on God’s green earth is going on?” 

“Every couple of years or so, I do all of my friends who are parents a favour and look after their kids for a day. They book spas or stay at home and sleep for 24 hours. I don’t know, the point is it's their time to relax, and my time to be an auntie. Except in the past few years they’ve been shagging like bloody rabbits,” you muttered. “And now there’s ten of them and one of me.” 

“So, you needed an extra pair of hands,” she said. 

“And eyes, ears, and another mouth to yell wouldn’t hurt,” you sighed and placed your palm against your forehead. “I am great with one or two, maybe three. Five last time was pushing it, but then two of them had to have bloody twins and-” You cut yourself off and took a deep breath to calm down. “I’m in over my head, Violet.” 

“Okay, while they’re still distracted, let’s make them something to eat,” she said. “Have they eaten yet?”

“Not since breakfast,” you shook your head. 

“And any dietary restrictions?” 

“Jackson is celiac but other than that the rest of them will eat dirt if they have the chance,” you placed your hands on your hips. 

“Come on, we’ll figure something out,” she placed a hand on your arm, pulling you towards the fridge, opening it and taking a look at what was inside. 

When you had decided what to make together, you felt a tug on your shirt, causing you to look down. 

“Auntie.”

“Yes, my dear,” you put on your best smile and gave your attention to your niece. 

“Who’s that?” she pointed to Violet as the rest of the kids followed along. The youngest at two years old, toddling along until he could be picked up by you. 

“This is my friend, Violet,” you explained. “She’s going to be hanging out with us today. Can you guys introduce yourselves?” 

Each of the kids took turns in a fairly orderly manner, telling Violet their names, until only the shy two year old was left. 

“And this is Raj,” you smiled and gave him a little kiss on the cheek. 

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Violet smiled. “Are you guys hungry?”

“Starving! Auntie hasn’t fed us yet,” Thomas said. 

“It’s kind of hard to feed ten of you when you’re all running every which way like little gremlins,” you teased. “But don’t worry, Violet makes very yummy food and she knows how to cook for lots of people.”

“Really? How come?” Mina asked. 

“Well, I have eight children,” she said. 

“Eight?!” they exclaimed and she chuckled. 

“Yes, eight,” she nodded. “Plus my husband and I made ten.”

“Wow, that’s a big family.”

“It certainly is,” Violet agreed. “Now, who here likes to cook?”

A few of the kids raised their hands and she encouraged them to come with her and she began explaining what would be for lunch and how they could help her prepare it. 

You took the rest of them into the living room and attempted to keep them occupied with some sort of game, but it was hard for you to participate with Raj climbing all over you. 

It was much to your relief when Violet came in saying lunch was ready, and all the kids ran to the table to sit at a plate of food while you took a moment to breathe. 

“You alright?” Violet asked, coming next to you and placing a hand on your shoulder. 

“I’ll survive, it’s one day,” you sighed and pushed yourself up while Violet wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into her side. 

“They’re quite cute,” she said. “Do you see them all often?”

“Not all at the same time, but fairly regularly,” you chuckled. “Raj and Mina’s mum is the friend I told you I made on those trips I took in first year. Jackson, Thomas, Lillian, and Peter’s dad was in the same program as me for undergrad. Kira and Zoe’s mum and Paula and Ian’s dad were from my master’s. Is that ten? Did I forget anyone?”

“I think that’s ten,” Violet laughed and rubbed her hand up and down your arm. “You should eat something while you still have the chance, I’ll keep them occupied at the table.”

You nodded your head and gave her another grateful look before going to the kitchen while she went to the dining room. After you made yourself a sandwich, you came into the room and watched from afar as Violet engaged the group of children in extensive conversation, giving everyone adequate attention and making sure everyone had a chance to share. 

You supposed being a mother for her was like riding a bike, once it was learnt, the instinct never went away. Her kindness and compassion had always shone through, but it seemed to spill from her smile, or in her touch, as she took a napkin to wipe some food off of Zoe’s face. 

“Violet, do you have any funny stories about Auntie?” Ian asked.”She says we’re too little to know any of her funny stories.”

“Hmm, let me think,” Violet tapped her finger on her chin in an exaggerated pose until she had come up with something appropriate to share. “So, my youngest daughter, Hyacinth, and my son, Gregory, were having an argument,” she began. All of the children had their eyes on her, waiting for whatever details she would reveal about you and you desperately hoped it wasn’t something you would get teased about for the foreseeable future. 

“What were they arguing about?” Lillian asked. 

“Believe it or not, who could make the best smoothie,” Violet said. “They argue about everything, but your auntie was there and she saw them talking and very clearly told them that they were both wrong, because she could make the best smoothie. Naturally, they asked her to prove it and after getting all of the right fruits and juice, she forgot to put the lid on the blender.” The children’s eyes went wide. “And the fruit went everywhere. All over the kitchen, Hyacinth, Gregory, your auntie. It was a mess.”

“Is that why you said no to smoothies today?” Kira asked, and you nodded your head while taking a bite of your sandwich, making the kids laugh. 

They finished eating their lunches and before long chaos had enveloped the house once more. 

“Maybe we can play a game?” you tried to suggest to them over top of all their running around and screaming. 

“What kind of game?” Jackson asked. 

You pursed your lips and adjusted Raj who was on your hip. 

“What about a game with knights and princesses and dragons?”

“Dragons?” 

Peter’s attention was caught, and he quickly got the rest on board, and it didn’t take long for them to begin assigning roles. 

“Violet can be the queen,” Paula said. “And Auntie can be a witch.” 

“A witch?!” you frowned and looked at them. “Absolutely not! Who gave you the idea that I would be a witch and Violet is the queen?” 

“She’s older than you,” Mina said nonchalantly. 

“If you don’t want to be the witch, you can be the jester,” Thomas suggested and there was a chorus of agreement from the children, thinking that role suited you much better. 

“I should have just kept my mouth shut,” you muttered. 

“Raj has to be the baby prince,” Mina said, grabbing your arm and dragging you to Violet so she could take Raj from you. 

Raj didn’t seem to mind changing hands and, in fact, was quick to rest his head on Violet’s shoulder as the children prepared an armchair as her throne and got her to sit down on it. 

Once the game began, you had to be off to the side for a bit while Violet sent the knights on a mission to slay the dragon in the bedroom. 

“Queen Violet, I think it’s time to bring out the clown,” Lillian sat as a princess in the chair next to Violet. 

“Hey, I am not a clown,” you pointed to Lillian. “It’s jester, get it right.” 

“Fine, whatever,” she rolled her eyes and waved her hand. “Bring in the jester.” 

You sighed and stepped in front of Violet, Lillian, Raj, and Paula, clearly unsure of what to do with yourself. 

“I think the jester should dance, don’t you?” Violet looked at the kids around her, and they all nodded their heads while you gave Violet a pleading look. 

“Dance!” Raj giggled, clapping his hands and you pressed your lips together. 

“I am so going to get you back for this,” you looked at Violet, who simply had a radiant smile on her face. 

“Is that a threat to your Queen?” she asked. “Because that is treason, my dear.” 

“The death of a traitor would be better than this,” you motioned to whatever was going on around you. 

“I’m bored,” Paula groaned. “Why won’t the jester dance?” 

“Perhaps because there is no music,” Violet suggested and took out her phone, passing it to Paula to pick a song. 

Already aware of what was coming your way, you mentally prepared yourself, and when the music turned on, you let out the loudest sigh before beginning to dance in front of Violet and the children. Raj, Lillian, and Paula weren’t even trying to contain their laughter. Violet was a little more gracious, but still had a hard time with the ridiculousness of the whole situation. 

“Maybe the jester should sing?” Violet suggested after a moment. 

“Violet, no,” you shook your head. 

“That is Queen Violet to you,” she insisted, Raj still contently tucked in her arms. 

“Okay then, no, Queen Violet, the jester will not be singing,” you curtsied. 

“Then the jester has to kiss the Queen’s hand as an apology!” Lillian declared, and you looked over at her curiously. 

“And what rule book is this coming from?” 

“Auntie, you’re ruining the game,” Paula whined. “Just do it.” 

Violet held out her hand, and you sighed again while taking it in your own, looking down, your thumb brushing down against her fingers, noticing the few freckles that littered her skin there. 

Without trying to think about it too much, you pressed your lips to the back of her hand, making the mistake of looking up at her once your lips had made contact with the soft skin. 

You quickly removed yourself and straightened out your clothes while Violet slowly withdrew her hand, wrapping it back around Raj. 

“We slayed the dragon!” Jackson exclaimed, running back into the room. 

“And I saved Princess Kira!” Mina grinned, holding Kira’s hand and dragging her into the room. 

“Oh, splendid!” Violet clapped her hands together. “We shall have a feast to celebrate.” 

All of the knights came in, and Violet rewarded each one with a kiss to the forehead and a slipped candy from her purse which excited them, but dreaded you to no end. 

The game went on a little longer until Raj got tired and you had to take him away to put him down for a nap. You were tempted to just stay and join him, but you couldn’t leave Violet alone, although when you finally rejoined them, they were all cozied up in the living room under blankets, crowded around Violet who was reading them a story. 

You still couldn’t quite fathom how she had gotten them all to sit down quietly, but regardless of how she did it, it was done. 

Mina insisted you come sit next to her, so you picked up Peter, who was next to her, and sat him on your lap instead, taking his spot. 

The day passed much more smoothly than you had initially anticipated, and once all of your friends had returned from their days out, the children were very reluctant to let you and Violet leave. 

“So, this is the Violet we’ve heard so much about,” your friend Lucas smiled. 

“I don’t know about so much,” you laughed nervously. 

“It’s a decent amount,” Yasmin patted your back, and you chewed on your lip, watching as Violet laughed along, but not without a soft rosy tinge to her cheeks. 

“Are you sure you guys can’t stay for a drink or something?” 

“Unfortunately not,” you shook your head. “Big day at work tomorrow and your kids, I love them to death, but I would like to go to sleep for six months now.” 

Your friends laughed at your dramatic exaggeration, and you said your goodbyes, but just as you were about to slip out, you heard a voice behind you. 

“Did you really think you were going to be able to get away without saying bye to me?” 

You grinned and turned around, wrapping your arms around your best friend and pulling her into a hug. 

“I didn’t realize you were in,” you said and relaxed in her embrace. 

When you pulled apart, your friend, Amara, noticed Violet and gave her a welcoming smile. 

“Hi, I’m Amara,” she put her hand out to shake and Violet took it. “Are you Violet?” 

“Yes, that would be me,” she chuckled. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” Amara said. 

“Oh, that seems to be a common thread tonight,” Violet nodded her head, clearly unsure of what to say. 

“All good things, I assure you, even from my kids who have only known you a day,” she chuckled. “I’m really happy I got to meet you. We’ll have to find someone else to watch the kids for a day so all the adults can have the chance to get to know you.” 

Violet smiled, “I’d like that a lot.” 

You watched the exchange with some trepidation, only for it to vanish as they continued to speak. 

“I won’t keep you guys much longer, I know you must have a lot of work to do, but thank you for coming and helping with our hoard. Both of you.” 

“Any day, Mara,” you wrapped your arms around her once more in a hug before the three of you exchanged last goodbyes, and you and Violet stepped outside of the house, both walking to your cars.

“Hey, Violet?” 

She looked up from where she was trying to get her keys out of her purse. 

“Yes?” 

“I-” you paused. “Thank you again for today. Really.” 

Violet smiled, “I think I should be thanking you.” 

“Me?” you chuckled, leaning against your car. “For what?”

“Always finding new and interesting ways to make sure I have a break,” she settled on. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow, Vi,” you waved and climbed into the front seat of your car, watching as she pulled out of the driveway and taking a few moments to yourself, a prayer for strength on the tip of your tongue. 

TAGLIST —

@paola-carter @madde11 @thesamesweetie @cherrysxuya @philocalistwrites @mako-mermaids2021 @oh-mydarling @courtneyteal @amethyst-bitch @etherynn @lilisdarling @fictionalized-lesbian

[mewhenimanangel]

cherry, eren jaeger

—synopsis. historia and annie go after you after finding out about your night with eren

—chapter 5 ౨ৎ

𝜗𝜚 content!: au-high school, ballet dancer, teenage romance, black reader, cheesy romance

previous ౨ৎ next ౨ৎ

lana slept over at your house that night. she made you share and reenact every detail of what happened with you and eren. you both even screamed and giggled when he texted you asking if you got home safe.

"girls quiet down!" your mom shouted from downstairs. "sorry!" you both giggled. she went on to tell you about connie asking her on a date next weekend and how they had a steamy make out in one of the bedrooms, she reenacted that for you too.

once lana was sleeping, you texted eren until you fell asleep too.

the next morning you woke up and went on your phone and your heart sunk. on annie's profile was screenshot of a picture of you and eren on the couch, the night before. the caption read "when a slut bitch dates the dance teacher's son to get a solo 🤣"

"what the fuck??" you furrowed your brows. "what's going on?" lana turned to face you. you showed her your screen. "there's no way, that bitch is asking to get her ass beat" she grabbed your phone and screenshot the story before texting annie 'what the fuck??'

"i bet that bitch historia posted that too. i saw them at the party, they must've seen you and eren together" she said.

you checked your phone to see if annie answered but all she had done was open your message and then block you. "her ass is scared as fuck. she's probably mad as hell that armin stopped fucking with her after historia and eren broke up" lana said.

"oh my god this is so embarrassing. i literally look like a slut" you said, looking at the picture again. "no you don't" she put her hand on your thigh. "if you 'look' anything, it's sexy as fuck" she said making you smile. "im just worried like what if ms jeager sees that and takes the solo from me" you sighed. "take the solo from you for kissing a boy?"

"a boy that's literally her son" you deadpanned. "no she won't care you know she likes you. i'm sure she'll think it's a misunderstanding or something" lana rubbed your shoulder. "yeah i guess. definitely not looking forward to tomorrow though. historia's in my sociology class" you groaned. "fuck that bitch" was all lana had to say.

the next day during class, you could feel historia's glare burning into the back of your head. you decided you weren't gonna say anything and just put the whole thing behind you, the story's expired by now anyways.

when class was over, you packed up your stuff and head for the door. historia walked by you and bumped you with your elbow "oops" she feigned an apologetic voice before turning around to leave the room. you scoffed before leaving class too.

eren rolled his eyes as he saw historia walk up to his locker. "hi" she smiled at him. he rolled his eyes "what." his tone was cold. "aw don't be like that" she whined. "literally what do you want from me?" he furrowed his brows and put his books in his locker.

"i miss you" she frowned, putting a hand on his arm. he scoffed, she was being so ridiculous all he could do was laugh and move his arm from her touch. "we're not fucking doing this again. i made it clear that we're done. leave me alone" he shut his locker, holding his books down by his side, beginning to walk away.

he turned back around to her for a second "oh and leave y/n alone too. i saw that bullshit you posted, it's fucked up and you know damn well that shit is not true" he said to her before heading to class. "i don't know why you don't just go fuck that gay friend of yours. you're both clearly in love with each other. find yourself and leave me alone" he told her off.

yesterday, connie had shown him a screenshot of annie's story that lana sent to him. eren's heart sunk and he grabbed his phone to text you, wondering if you'd seen it.

eren 🎀: hey

have you seen that picture going around

you: yeah...i'm pissed the fuck off

eren 🎀: yeah

shit is weird idk what annie's doing but i feel like it has to do with historia

you: great 😐

eren 🎀: listen i'm sorry, i'll talk to her

i don't even know who took that picture

you okay?

you: i mean yeah i'm fine but what if your mom sees that

eren 🎀: i'm sure she won't and if she does i'll just explain it to her.

don't worry, she's not gonna like cut you from your solo or something.

she doesn't really know about us

but she is suspicious of it lmao

you: lol

yeah you're probably right i'm just anxious

historia's probably ready to kill me

eren 🎀: nah i'll talk to her

you walked into math class to see eren already at your table. your heart rate kind of picked up, this was the first time you'd seen him since you made out on that couch.

eren smiled once he saw you walk in. today you were back in the uniform skirt, this time with a crewneck over it. you had on the sneakers you wore on friday and your hair was bound back by a white headband.

he was excited to see you again, you didn't leave his mind at all after saturday night. you actually managed to make him look forward to a math class.

"morning" you smiled at him as you sat down in your seat. "hey princess" he sat up. "hm, that one's still going strong?" you smiled. "for you of course"

"by the way, i talked to historia. i think she'll leave you alone now. them taking and posting that picture is so stupid" he shook his head. "it's whatever" you shrugged.

as math class went on, you and eren talked before being told to be quiet by mr ryan. you focused on the lesson as much as you could until you noticed eren nonchalantly moving his hand closer to yours.

you bit your cheek in a grin as you slowly brushed yours against his too, hand moving to touch his. he slowly placed his hand to slightly hold yours, he grazed his thumb over a spot on your knuckles. you turned to see him staring at the board with a smirk on his face, and shook your head.

your mind raced to saturday night's events and the kiss. his touch was so intoxicating, you wanted to kiss him again, maybe even more than just that..

the bell rung and you gathered your things. "i've got dance today. wish me luck with annie, i already know she told the other girls" you rolled your eyes.

"you'll be fine. if anything i'll come save you" he nudged your shoulder. "ugh please do" you smiled as you turned down the other direction of the hallway.

you and lana walked into the studio and dropped your bags down. you looked over to see annie whispering something to mina as they both looked over at you.  you rolled your eyes "that bitch better cut it out. her busted ass pirouette is why she didn't get the solo" lana joked as she watched annie warm up.

ms jeager walked into the room and you saw annie dart her gaze over to you. "everyone in positions let's get warmed up" she said. "y/n can you come here please? i'd like to speak to you" she said, lana gave you a worried look. you heard giggles from behind you as you followed her out of the room.

"so...i've heard some rumors" she started off. you sighed, knowing what the rumors in question were.

"listen, i picked you for the solo because you're extremely talented and i love the style you dance. i did not pick you because of whatever is going on between you and my son. i had no idea there was even something going on. is there...something going on?"

"no" your voice came out a lot less confident than you'd hoped, "i mean not really?"

"are you asking me?" she chuckled. "listen whatever my son's got you wrapped up in has nothing to do with your solo" she told you and you nod your head. "just don't let it distract you. you've done some great work these last few weeks. you can go join the others, i'll have a chat with annie"

once practice was over, you went to the private rehearsal room to work on your solo. eren went to say hello to his mom before walking around to look for you. he peered into the rehearsal room and saw you dancing. today you were in grey yoga pants with pink leg warmers and a white tank top. eren loved your outfits, everything you wore always suited you so beautifully.

"maybe you should take a break" you heard from behind you. you smiled through a pant, pausing the music "who says i haven't?" "i know you haven't, you hungry?" he asked you. "i'm not eating till i finish practicing." you told him.

he squint his eyes, fine. he wouldn't push you, he'll just give you the sub sandwich he bought for you on the way here later. he moved into the room, dropping his bag before sitting down on the floor by the wall.

"don't you have basketball practice today?" you asked him, stretching your feet to continue.  "i just came from there"

you turned to acknowledge his attire, grey sweatpants with a hoodie that had the school's name on it. his hair was more out of place than usual, you liked this laid back look on him.

"you know you're coming here a lot more often lately, it's getting a little suspicious" you smiled.

"hm, i better not let annie see me" he joked, making you laugh.

he stayed sitting there until you decided you were done practicing. he ate the sandwich he'd bought for himself and listened to music. he looked up from his phone when you stopped the music and began taking off your dance shoes. "don't those hurt?" he asked you. "oh they absolutely do" you sighed.

you packed your things, putting on your jacket and a pair of slides on your feet. "i got you a sandwich by the way" eren said, grabbing the bag from his backpack. "aww thank you, god i'm starving" he handed you the bag before holding the door open for you.

once you guys were in his car, you opened the bag to eat your sandwich. "you wanna put some music on?" he offered. "sure" you connected your phone to his car and put on some music.

"by the way, what are you doing this weekend?" he asked you. "probably just work and going to the studio, why?"

"you know mikasa right?" "yeah, i mean like know of her at least" you shrugged. "she's having a birthday party on saturday, i get to bring a plus one"

"are you asking me to be your plus one?" you smiled. "i'm asking you to be my date yes" he nod his head. "sure then yes i will be your date. what do i wear?" "it's roaring 20s themed" he told you.

"oh i have the perfect thing for that" you pulled out your phone to look for a picture of the long black sparkly dress you'd bought a couple months ago.

you saw eren's smirk grow as he looked at the picture "what?" "you look amazing in that, you should for sure wear that" he nod his head. "right?!"

[yeahtimesten]

How Your Relationship Started With Patrick, Art, or Tashi

As much as it pains me to say it because I’m such a slow burn girly, I think Patrick moves quick in relationships. I know he gives the impression that he’s a player and doesn’t like to get tied down. And maybe that’s what he thinks he’s doing. But really, I think he develops crushes quickly and dates around because he appreciates the art of connecting with people. And I think when he finds a person worth the trouble, he fixates on them with total earnest. He wants to take you on like three dates a week as soon he realizes he likes you. He’s not only quick to get you in bed, but also to ask you to be official with him. He wants to make it clear asap that you are just for him, and he’s just for you. If you insist on taking it slow, he’ll oblige. If you tell him you only want to be fwb or a casual relationship, fine then. But really, if you give him the opening, he’ll be on the topic of marriage and babies in no time. At first, he’s raising red flags with your friends who think he’s love bombing you. But like, he actually loves you, and he eventually proves it to your friends just how down bad he is for you. He’s the total definition of “talking stage? just move in babe we can talk at home.”

Art on the other hand? He takes his sweet ass time. For one, he loves the dance of courtship. Bringing you flowers, opening doors for you. He was raised to be respectful, to be a gentleman. But, I also think he’s scared of rejection and he’s not quick to pick up on reciprocated feelings. He’ll be so respectful, so patient, that maybe you’ll figure he’s not interested and he’s just a nice guy that wants to be your friend. But my god, he’s pining, he’s yearning. His skin burns *so good* if you brush past him or set your hand on his knee. He’s scared to make a real move. Maybe, he even watches you go through a painful break up with another man and is ready to pick up the pieces when you give him the chance. He wants to scream ‘I’m right here! In front of you. Look at me. Don’t make me say it, I’m so in love with you.’ I picture that it takes him a good year to finally confess his feelings. You’ll laugh, and he’ll get totally taken aback, sad, ashamed. But then you’ll say something like ‘what took you so long?’ A wave of relief will wash over him and only then will he be ready to ACTUALLY start the courting process. And the rest of your relationship will be him treating you like he’s still trying to win your heart.

Tashi? Ha. Yearning is too delicate. Whatever she goes through is much more disgusting. The scene in the movie where Art tells her Patrick doesn’t love her and she gets mad and asks if she ever said she needed him to love her (not verbatim lol), my heart breaks for her. I interpret that as her defense mechanism 100%. I wish I knew why, but I see that as she doesn’t think she deserves love. And that’s how she navigates her love life. “Love is 28 different things……. There’s fear and jealousy and revenge, control…” I think being in love is sort of a foreign feeling for her. And, especially if you’re a girl, it’s confusing for her to navigate. When you meet, you probably think she hates you, she acts totally cold to you. You wonder why she hangs around you so often. But you catch her reading a non-academic book that you finished reading about a week ago. And she asks to study with you after class. And she wants to borrow a couple of CDs she sees in your dorm room. And otherwise she’s extremely nosey about all your possessions. One night, she texts to you come to her dorm as soon as possible, and bring ice cream. And because you love her, despite being so confused on where you stand with her, you stop at the closest convenience store to grab her favorite ben and jerry’s (you did your own research, unbeknownst to her) and rush to her side. She’s distraught and she’s not opening up about it at all. You both eat your ice cream with a side of small talk. Eventually, after you poke and prod and offer her some stories about your life, she opens up, not about her feelings, but about her life as well. Growing up, her love for tennis, her other interests. She tells you she really enjoyed that book you were reading, but doesn’t admit she read it because of you. It gets late and you aren’t ready to go home but she looks sleepy and you offer to let her sleep and quietly she says ‘you can stay’ when you’re already halfway out the door. She doesn’t even think she wanted you to hear. But you did, and you join her on her twin sized bed. And for a beat, your laying squished awkwardly like sardines side by side until you adjust your arm above her head, and that’s all the invite she needs to readjust and rest her head on your chest. And without thinking you run your fingers through her hair. And she’s practically purring, until she’s snoring in your arms. That’s when you realize this was never about her hating you.

[silent-raven13]

Silent Treatment

Miles normally don't get upset, he's a very forgiving person and is willing to let his anger fade out. BUT! When he does get upset, he will give anyone the silent treatment. Especially today when his boyfriend made him very upset.

Gwen and Pav noticed Hobie following Miles from a distant. They thought this was weird, because they are always side by side. Pav asked, "I wonder what happen?" He quietly gasps, "Did they broke up?"

"No, maybe Hobie is gonna surprise him." Gwen said to her friend, "But... why he's not scaring him already?"

The noticed Miles by himself, "Hey, where did Hobie go to?"

Hobie appeared behind the two, "Actually, mates... Miles' is giving me the silent treatment."

The two were startled causing Gwen to scream, "How did you get here?"

"Ahh, don't do that!" Pav shouted.

"Sorry..." Hobie mutters feeling all gloomy.

"Dude, what did you do to piss him off?" Gwen asked, with her arms crossed.

Pav nodded, "Yeah, he never gets mad."

"I... Hmm, how do I put this?" Hobie explains they had a fight about him bringing mud into Miles room through the window. It's a habit of the punker have dirty muddy boots, sometimes dragging a lot of mud through Miles' window leaving stains on his window seat.

Well, this time Miles got super upset because he told Hobie to clean his boots before entering! He just finished cleaning his room, which meant he scrub the stained window seat and window frames very clean. Took him a good thirty minutes or more. When he was finished everything look so much nicer.

Just then Hobie came through the fire escape window, stepping on the cleaned window seat with his dirty muddy boots. Miles came back to the room seeing the trail of mud after he finish scrubbing the floors! An anger that swept into the nineteen year old, that he told Hobie, why didn't he listen to him? Hobie merely stated he forgot.

Miles told to leave before he starts cursing the hell out of him. So Hobie thought his Sunflower would cool down for a day or two, but Miles had responded his text back. He felt upset, terrible... a little annoyed since he forgot.

"Ahhh, didn't you guys always have a fight about that, tho?" Gwen asked.

Pav nodded, "Yeah, I even wrote it on Spder So-City's Punkflower Blog. See!" He holds his Smartphone up to show his blog posts.

Hobie sighs, "I didn't think he would be so upset, and now he's ignoring me." He hunched over being depressed.

Gwen said, "Just go apologize. I would be mad too if I spend the whole time cleaning on my Saturday, then somebody messed it up."

"Yeah, Hobie. Just say your sorry."

"I'll try."

The three went to find Miles at Headquarters study hall, since a lot of Spider-heroes are teenagers, Miguel made a special place for them to study. The black Latino sat on one of the chairs with a large table while reading a book for his English class.

"There he is! Okay, go." Gwen whispers to her punker friend.

Hobie had cold feet. "Wow, you're never afraid." Pavitr gawks at him.

"It's just... it's just- what if he dumps me?" Hobie on all fours being on the ground looking pathetic.

"Oh come on! One fight isn't the end of the world!" The blond young woman picks him up, "Just go over there and talk." She pushes him toward Miles' direction. "Go!"

Pav nodded, "Yeah, go!"

Hobie stood a few steps behind Miles, then he hunched over in defeat. "OH COME ON! YOU DIDN'T SAY HELLO!" Gwen shouted out loud.

"Shhh!" All the younger Spider-heroes hushes her.

"Sorry." She whispers feeling embarrassed, then glares at Hobie.

Hobie casually went up to Miles trying to be cool. "Hey, luv." He said calmly.

Miles ignores him. Hobie hunch over the ground with all fours feeling so depressed his beloved Sunflower ignoring him. Pav being dumbfounded, "Wow, he really pissed off Miles, huh?"

"I guess so." Gwen said.

"Ahem, hey Sunflower!" This time Hobie said it loud and clear.

Miles ignores him again, a young Spider-man passes Miles, "Oh hey, Miles. Working hard?"

"Oh hey, Peter. Yeah, gotta catch up on my homework." Miles happily said.

"Say, who is that behind you?"

"Oh, no one." Miles smiles.

This send jabs into Hobie's heart. He quickly hugs Miles legs being all teary eye, "Sunflower! It's me, your baby!"

The young Spider-man looked confused, and Miles merely smile, "Don't worry about him. Anyway, I gotta finish reading."

"Okay, see ya later." His friend left to go back to studying the other side of the room.

Miles smiles then he looks at his boyfriend who's resting his head on his thigh, "Hobie..."

"Hmph?"

"I'm still mad at you." Miles huffs as he continues to give him the silent treatment.

Hobie whines, "Lllluuuuvvvvvv, please don't ignore me. I'm sorry! It was an accident. Pleeeaaassseeee, Sunflower!"

His boyfriend stays quiet still ignoring him, Hobie acted like Billie when she has her tantrums or fits. Good thing, he can handle it. Hobie kept saying, "I'm sorry, darling. I am! Do you need anything? I'll get you lunch or flowers or we can go to that Indian restaurant you always wanted to try in my world. I'll do anything for you! Anything."

"Anything?" Miles asked as he closed his book.

"Yes."

"I want you to leave me alone, Hobie. I'm still mad at you." Miles turns his head to him being serious.

"But darling!"

Miles ignores him with another huff. "Hmph."

Gwen said to Pav, "He's very mad at him, huh?"

"Yeah." Pav said.

Through out the evening, Hobie clingy on to Miles the whole time. He even slouches on Miles' back being dragging by him all around. Gwen and Pav watches how needy Hobie became for his boyfriend.

"I swear, Hobie was never like this." Gwen said.

"Yeah, he use to be all I-Don't-Give-A-Shit attitude and would walk away." Pav said in a tough voice. "Maybe they been together so long, y'know."

"Yeah, I agree. Hobie is more relaxed and always wants to make his boo happy." Gwen giggles. "But..." Their eyes saw how Hobie being depressed without Miles' attention.

"This is really sad..." Pavitr being lost for words.

Miles sighs look at his boyfriend on the ground, "Hobie, I told you to leave me alone."

"No!" He said in a childish manner. "I wanna talk about this. I said I was sorry." He pouts being upset.

Miles sighs then noticed other Spider-heroes looking at them. "Ugh, fine! Come on," He took his man's collar vest dragging him to a table in the courtyard up on HQ. Gwen and Pav follow with their own milkshakes for them and the gang.

"Well?" Miles asked his boyfriend.

"Darling, I'm sorry. I forgot to clean my boots. I didn't mean to."

Miles slurps his milkshake, "Okay."

"Okay, so that means you forgive me?"

"I'm still mad at you, Hobie. I told you many times to always clean your shoes," Miles pouts, "and you always forget. And I took my Saturday morning cleaning my room because I taken the day off as Spider-man! Once I finally made my room so clean, you put mud through the whole room like you didn't give a shit. That hurt my feelings. So, yeah I'm still pretty pissed off." He slurps his milkshake.

"Is there anything Hobie can do to fix it?" Pavitr asked.

Miles took a moment, "Hmmm."

Gwen giggles, "Come on, Miles. Look at your baby, he's been so depress without you."

Hobie hugging Miles being all sad and depress. "He's acting like Billie. He'll be fine." Miles said.

"Don't be cruel to me, luv. Let me make it up to you." Hobie frowns. "I am sorry."

"Well, you pissed off the wrong Latino, bae. So hmph." His beloved Sunflower giving him the silent treatment.

"Luuuuvvvv!"

The silent treatment went on for three more days, and Hobie was able to lighten up Miles' mood by cleaning his room. He scrubs the dirty stained window seat and floors, while Billie watches having her sippy cup filled with juice. She made sure Hobie clean the floor spotless acting like the boss, "Oi. Oi." She uses a fake deep voice acting like a tough guy.

"Where did she leave that?" Hobie asked out loud as he scrubs Miles' floor.

Miles grins widely having to finish typing his book report, "She's watching One Piece with me, and Adobe Asobase."

Billie huffs, "Clean!" She commanded Hobie. "Baka!"

Miles laughs with amusement, "Wow, bae. You must really miss me, huh?"

"Your mood is better." Hobie smiles happily, but Billie shoot her web shooter at his face, "Darling, that's cheating."

"Clean." She demands being tough, "Baka!" Sipping her juice, she proudly grins at her big brother. "Good?"

"Yes, mi bebé! You're doing a great job." Miles smiles widely making his little sister happy. "Besides, she likes being in charge."

Billie giggles rushing over to her older brother's leg, "Up!"

"OKay, Boo-boo." Miles picks her up to snuggle her.

"Awe, what about me?" Hobie cutely pouts going over to snuggle with his Sunflower.

"No, baka!" Billie pats him away.

Miles giggles feeling his boyfriend's kisses on his cheek, "Fine, you get this chance, besides I'm not mad at you. But I still want you to finish cleaning up."

"Oh I will." Hobie blew raspberry kisses on his Miles' cheek.

"Ah, bae. That's gross." Miles giggles.

"I need to give you all the lost love from your cruel punishment, darling." Hobie buries his face into Miles' neck, somehow he found a way to have his Sunflower sit on his lap.

"Maybe next time listen to me." Miles said as a matter of fact.

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Im getting into my dc batfam feels and I just want you to picture dc Kate during under the red hood she calls Bruce a pussy and shoots joker and Jason's like i consider that a marriage proposal I honestly picture Kate and robin!Jason being frenemies like omg you are so annoying but if anyone wants to hurt you they have to go through me vibes then when he comes back she gets protective even though he's literally a crime lord and like twice her size

God yes Kate is so fucking mad at Bruce about Jason's death. So what if Bats wanted to kill Joker? He didn't actually do it! Kate and Dick working together to find and kill him. Kate is very aware that this means she will no longer be welcome in Gotham. Worth it.

(Dick and Kate and New Robin Tim hunting down the Joker for Jason???? Dick and Kate looking at each other over Tim's head like wtf did we become this feral creature's parents?. Dick and Kate in their "I'm too young to die but too old to eat off the kids menu, what a stupid age I am!" era. Jason has someone set up a meeting with "the people who killed the Joker" and it's his childhood crush, his not-brother, and his replacement?!?!?! What the fuck. No, seriously, guys, what the fuck?? Jason reveals his identity out of shock more than anything and is suddenly at the bottom of a very weepy puppy pile)

Can also see Kate buying an apartment building in or just outside of crime alley because of Jason and the desire to look out for his neighborhood in his honor.

It takes waaaay too long for Jason to reveal he's Red Hood to her, mostly because she keeps trying to kill him with extreme prejudice. Like, he gets that's Joker's pre-joker name, right? Is this some kind of sick joke? Gets to the point where he pays Poison Ivy to drug her and dump her at one of his safe houses bc he a dramatic ass hoe

Potential for Kate to think she's dreaming or hallucinating Jason amd she pokes him and screams when he's solid which startles jason into screaming at her. I'm a fan of people screaming at each other for no reason.

as bbs they are TOOOOO much alike. They're enamored with the magic/awesomeness of being a superhero, they are the second of their name, both are birds, they're book nerds. Kate doesn't have a lot of fellow rich people friends so I think she'd take to Jason right away, I can see her giving him gala tips etc. I can see them liking each other as civilians and hating each other as superheroes because they are TOO alike which is kind of funny which is frenemies territory. Like god another bird themed superhero??? Getcha own thing. They get kidnapped from a gala and that's when they learn each other's superhero identity? Maybe???

BUT they always laugh at each other's bird jokes in solidarity

Kate was Jason's first kiss. Bbys holding hands!!!! Jaybin is SO bashful and SO respectful of her boundaries ahhhhh I'm dying

I saw a post about how there's a memorial to the second Robin on a rooftop in crime alley because they know he was one of theirs and I am OBSESSED with Kate tending to it with other residents of the area once she moves to Gotham (Kate moving to Gotham is her version of when a cat stares at you and then knocks your glass of water over. Bruce doesn't think she should be here? Oh he doesn't? How interesting. Unfortunately, all of her fucks have been promised to other issues so she has none for you, Brucie)

Kate is who Jason calls after the batarang to the neck incident. He texts her an SOS and she keeps it together to get jason bandaged up and in bed and then she breaks into the Manor and starts screaming and throwing things at bruce. Would she have been able to enter the Manor normally? Yes. Breaking in was to make a POINT. The point was FUCK YOU BRUCE. (VERY funny if this causes a falling out between Bruce and Ollie because the Hawkeyes are pissed at Batman and the arrow heroes have to stand in solidarity? Maybe prompting Ollie and Roy to patch up their relationship because Arrow Heroes. Honestly it's giving WWI vibes. Like, I got no beef with you but my boo does so fuck you.)

Goddddd I love jason and Kate so much

[elrielffs]

Lets talk about elain and azriel on the way they developed.

They started off as strangers and developed into cute little friends and then as time passed (acofas) the feelings started to develop and they slowly started to get over their old lovers. Its so beautiful to me and I will simply scream if they dont end up together cause HOW can you do something like that after setting them up like that?????!

dont even get me started on the truthteller scene. that scene called it for me. there is NO ABSOLUTE WAY THEY ARENT ENDGAME AFTER THAT. like wdym "azriel and elain were over in the bonus chapter and he has feelings for gwyn now" like what??? do you hear yourself right now? like that really set up a forbidden (i know people might think its weird to say forbidden when they're adults BUT YK WHAT I MEAN) trope! Choosing eachother over a bond, fighting for eachother!! its so beautiful! why are yall just focusing on the sisters x brothers part?? babes this book has been cliche the minute "love" was the answer to that riddle thing. you'll be fine.

LISTEN LISTEN I LOVE THEM

Elriel is poised to be my favorite romantic couple ever.

The Truthteller scene, Azriel finding out Elain's a Seer, the headache powder, the Hybern rescue...there's just no way these two aren't endgame and that's not counting allllll the other subtle scenes they have, the characters talking about mate bonds and accepting/not accepting and being chosen poorly in regards to Elain, and the meta.

Feysand and Nessian were romantic but to me, Elriel is Romantic with a capital R.

I'm over banter, I'm over couples being sassy to each other, I'm over reluctant mates, I'm over "healing journies".

I want a couple that are soft for each other, who are tender, who are sweet, who yearn and pine and pathetic how much they want each other.

And after 16 books of mate bonds, enemies-ish to lovers (Elriel would be friends to lovers, a trope I see antis say that want in the other ships not realizing that, once again, it's in Elriel), I want something new and I can only imagine SJM wants to write something new. A lot of SJM's couples are will they won't they and I feel like Elriel will be a they want to and they will no matter what with all these obstacles in their way (what's that? a plot??? not just a healing journey?)

And yeah, SJM is cliche. She says that about herself. She's cheesy, she's corny, she's not subtle and it's great. I don't need GRRM level twist/realism, I don't need theories that are constantly trying to one up each other in complexity and require a deep dive to understand, I don't need to analyze this text at a college level to understand the writing.

That's not how SJM writes/plots and that's not what I expect from these books. If that's what some readers want, there are thousands of other books that can do that for them. Leave ACOTAR alone.

[108garys]

Manny Sherman dialogue transcribed

I really enjoyed transcribing the little hope puritan dialogue a bit ago despite it being one heck of an undertaking and I've always wanted to do a similar thing on a much smaller scale(this time) so as an afternoon task I pulled up a video of the four Sherman tapes and typed out his on screen dialogue, it'll be good for writing him and better understanding his vocabulary and maybe some time around I'll do something a little more substantial like Randolph Hodgson's journal but that aside I feel Sherman's dialogue flows really well and does a great job with characterisation, can you believe there's barely more than a thousand words from him all up? Regardless I've tried to follow the in game captions on the video which can be a little hard at times due to white text on a grey background with the occasional white detail obscuring stuff but I believe I got it at least 99% accurate and beyond that I added in places in brackets that he laughed but not the uncaptioned sounds of him getting his ass kicked because I thought one added something and the other wouldn't(and here's the video I used)

(interrogation - tape 1)

Manny Sherman. Born January one. Nineteen fifty-six.

Come on, you already know all this. What do you want?

What's this?… Huh… You've been doing your research, haven't you Special Agent Munday?

What are my favorite television programs?

Describe my first pet.

What were your friends like as a child?

What is this?!

You taking a survey or you trying to learn something?

Would it kill you to be direct?

You wanted to know what inspired me? As if I wasn't an original?

Well… maybe there was one man I found myself a little fascinated by.

Henry. Howard. Holmes.

Why? Because he was numero uno.

America's first. The guy invented the trade. He set the benchmark, you know?

Learn your history, Munday. Read a book.

You think because I stuck a blade in some people and get off on it I'm not smart?

I, heh… 'allegedly'… killed 13 people before you got smart enough to find me…

__

(interrogation - tape 2)

…had to build my own little castle, just like Holmes did.

Most people like me do their business where their target lives. That's just asking to get caught.

Holmes had the right idea. It was all about the honeytrap.

You bring me some smokes? Like I asked?

Lucky Reds? Yes! These are like gold in here. Damn that's good. So yeah, the honey pot.

Holmes built a hotel about a mile from the World's Fair and CALLED it the World's Fair Hotel and bought ad space in the papers alongside ads for the expo.

Rubes from far and wide assumed it was the official hotel!

Ma and Pa Kettle take a train in from Nebraska, takes three days, they roll up into that joint ready to rest, get to their room… and whoops- what do ya know… Holmes had a gas pipe hidden under the bed and poisons them.

Or maybe he pulls a trap door on them.

Maybe he separates them and makes one watch through a window while he slits the other's throat.

That's the advantage of a honey pot: no shortage of targets.

That's why I picked all those houses north of the airport.

That whole neighborhood was scheduled for demolition and yet…

All those lovely realtor ladies must not have gotten the memo.

Call up as a contractor, tell them I'm flipping, have them meet me out there… and look at that… we're the only two people for miles.

The first couple times I'd wait for a plane to fly over, just to hide their screams, but…

after a while I realized they could scream as loud as they wanted.

No one was gonna hear a thing.

That's what I remember most.

Those screams.

You can try to understand why I am the way I am. You can forensic science up all the data you want.

But you'll never know… You'll never know, Munday… You'll never really know how it feels when you watch the fire burn out of somebody.

__

(interrogation - tape 3)

(laughter)

A whole carton this time? You trying to get on my good side or something?

Think I'll save them.

What? No questions? What's going on with you, Munday?

You seem different.

(laughter) I see that that glimmer in your eye, you little devil.

I can keep secrets, man… we all have them.

That prosecutor is trying to get numbers out of me. Know that?

Of course you know that. Numbers. They got Holmes for 27… but we know he was closer to 200, right?

Can you imagine that? I wish I'd had the time to try and beat that.

Sure they know about those nice realtor ladies… they got families after all.

But the numbers the D.A. is asking me about… I think he knows there's some people out there- rejects… misfits… the kind of people that when you see them coming you look the other way.

Does anyone notice if they go missing?

My father always told me to leave my mark on the world.

I never knew what he meant by that- not until I watched that first girl bleed out.

I call it art. That's my signature on society.

It's not murder, it's an aesthetic response to what this has world made me.

Ask people to list killers, and they'll drop five, ten on you before they can't think of any more.

Ask them to name the detectives that caught those killers- no one is going to say a damn thing.

No one knows them. No one cares.

No one makes movies about them.

No one puts their faces on t-shirts.

No one gives a shit.

(quiet chuckle)

I've left my mark on the world…

…have you?

__

(interrogation - tape 4)

You want to know what it means to be a killer?

You ever been to the art museum downtown?

They got this painting by a guy… forgot his name. Famous painter.

He did portraits of slaughtered cows hanging on hooks.

You take a normal person to a slaughterhouse and they will puke their guts out.

You make it into a painting and suddenly it's art.

There's no difference between the two. Not really.

Don't look at me like that. You know I'm right.

You get it. I know you get it.

You got to do something that matters. Make people feel something they've never felt before.

Shatter the illusion that any of us are really in control.

Think of the most profound thing you've ever done… the most beautiful thing you've ever created… and I promise you… it's nothing compared to watching the life bleed out of someone.

To see the fear in their eyes, to feel them pawing at you for release, to hear them pleading- begging…

That moment when someone realizes they are at their end…

That's when you feel it. That's true art.

That's what you have to be- an artist… a sculptor… an architect.

I see the gleam in your eye, Agent Munday, You're not fooling me.

Oh, look at you now, huh?

Am I going to be your first?

Well come on then- I'm right here.

This room is soundproof- you don't even have to wait for a plane to fly overhead.

There… There you are… I see you now.

Not bad… not bad at all.

Bare hands can feel good, huh?

But the blade makes for such a prettier picture.

You've got potential. Agent Munday…

If you truly want to be an artist.

__

@kassiekole22 @delurkr @ctrvpani @aydeenchan

@tinynightmarewoman @kindheartedgummybears @mybrainrotforreal (Know idea as ever with this character on who'd be interested in this but it was a good exercise at any rate)

[here2bbtstrash]

bts at a drag show/gay bar

i was already babbling abt how much i wanted to do this with my bias line and then y'all made me realize i should just make it a whole damn headcanons post so. welcome! here we are! here is my brainrot on how the boys would turn up on drag night at the gay bar 🏳️‍🌈✨ if this content is not for you, it costs $0 to just keep scrolling ✌️

knj: everyone expected that joonie bby would be flooded with attention from the people who came out tonight specifically in search of a tall, built daddy, but there's a group nobody saw coming that ends up swarming him first: the lesbians. they fucking love him, and he finds himself getting sucked into an hour-long conversation on the back patio about roni horn and rha hyeseok. he'll probably end up agreeing to start a book club with his new sapphic friends before the night is over (and he'll run into them all again the following weekend when he goes to support soyoon at one of her gigs lmao) 👭

ksj: entirely oblivious to what it looks like when a person is flirting with him, despite that being exactly what happens to him for quite literally the entire night. each time someone new walks away from the table, he'll turn back to yoongi and jimin with the same question: "okay, now surely that wasn't flirting, was it?!" only to be immediately told that yes, yes it was and no, nobody would sit through a 20 minute ted talk on the lore of maplestory if they didn't also want to sit on his dick. he'll argue til til he's half-hoarse from screaming over the music that there's no way everyone in the club could possibly be flirting with him - but frankly, he's not mad at the ego boost 🍆

myg: putting the suga in suga daddy, he's breaking hundreds at the bar to make sure everyone has a stack of singles to tip the queens, and alllllll the drinks are going on his black card. other than that he's pretty lowkey, mostly just sipping steadily at his whiskey and looking at his phone. when somebody finally gets nosy enough to lean over his shoulder and snoop, they realize that he's actively scrolling through his rotation of hookup apps and trying to match up people in the room to their profiles. might slip away for a sneaky link in the bathroom oop, but he'll be back in time to close his tab out 💳

jhs: full-send GAGGING at the queens and their dancing. he can't even stay in his seat because song after song he's jumping to his feet just so he can dramatically collapse to the floor with a gay scream, getting his life entirely with every new kick, flip, spin, and death drop. the word slaaaaaaaay! has never been shouted with more enthusiasm than it is tonight by this man, and he does not give a fuck that he won't have a voice tomorrow. once the show is over, he is the absolute center of the dancefloor, popping and locking and showing off his footwork like he was born to do it-- and the boys will definitely catch him practicing his duck walk at some point in the next week 🕺

pjm: without a doubt, he is the LIFE of the mf party, lost in the lights and outta his mind u kno?? it's literally just the like crazy MV, actually. will make everyone do shots as soon as they get in the door and then at least once an hour the rest of the night, if only because he really likes flirting (and by flirting i mean making out) with the shot boys. lbr he probably gets several shots poured or spat into his mouth, and if anyone's hopping up on the bar to get tequila sucked out of their belly button, it is absolutely this demon. and ofc he's bringing at least one person home with him - "it's gon' be a good night" indeed~ 😈

kth: disappears into the crowd a few songs into the set, but he texts the group chat that he's fine and just made some friends, so the night carries on without him. it isn't until the next performer is called to the stage - miss tata mic! - that everyone realizes he's befriended the queens, and they've done him up right: cinched for the gods, face beat to make his eyes even more smoldering than usual (...wait, did he bring his colored contacts from home?!), and moving fearlessly in borrowed six-inch heels. and of course, his choreo is flawless. he easily earns enough tips to pay yoongi back in full and then some 👠

jjk: the definition of 'happy to be here'. loves the lights, the music, the ~vibes~, all of it. he somehow knows every word to every single song, and the more drinks he has, the louder he's singing along. and the queens love him for being easy to fluster, the way even his ears flush with color when he blushes, so he gets a whole lot of ass and tiddies in his lap and his face (rewarded with generous tips, naturally). when the lights finally come on and everyone stumbles outside, he's a drunchies king, and he thinks the food from the truck in the parking lot is quite literally the best thing he's ever tasted. he repeatedly shouts 'DAMN!' up to the night sky, one fist swinging as he eats, until someone pours him into the car so they can all head back home 🍗

[brighter-by-the-daly]

Rachel Daly x Millie Bright x Reader

Part Five - So Far Removed

Posted:28/04/23, Edited: 26/09/23

The door to the plane tunnel closed as you soaked in the last glimpse of your girlfriend from the other side. Your heart sunk a little as the reality set in, you’d taken the piss out of Rachel the whole journey now here you are moping yourself. The hands of Millie landing on your shoulders suddenly jolting you out of the impending funk “come on bestie! We’re gonna have so much fun!” linking her arm in yours and trotting towards the plane. As you neared the door Chelsea’s social media person was there filming the players file onto the plane “sorry can you get out the shot so we can just get Bright?” Dropping the link between you but Millie immediately stopped your arm from leaving hers as soon as she felt your grip loosen. “Err, no if you want me you gotta get my best friend too!” the captain remarked as she shuffled you onto the plane without giving it a second thought. Your mouth dropped wide open at the sight of what was inside the metal shell, earning yourself an elbow to the ribs. “What, you never seen a private plane before?” Millie smirked “mate, I’ve never had extra leg room before, let alone a private jet!” you exclaimed as she showed you to your seat next to hers. “So this is a taster for the World Cup is it?” you said pressing all the buttons and playing with everything like a child. “Oh the England jet is sooo much better! This is nothing!” Millie nonchalantly announced. “THIS is nothing to you?! Oh to be a footballer!” you scoffed and rolled your eyes as you flopped into your chair, immediately kicking the recliner back. “The last time I was on a plane someone screamed at me for putting my chair back! That was barely an inch!” leaning back fully until your chair was practically flat. “You’re cute” Millie gushed at your naïveté, “you’re spoilt!” you hit back at her remarks. Your reality and hers so far apart you were practically on different planets as you gawped at the plane staff putting your bags in the locker for you. “Smile!” she shouted as she shoved her phone in your face - ‘honorary team member’ she posted.

Falling asleep almost immediately you were woken almost an hour later by Millie prodding you “hey, I didn’t get you on this plane to sleep!” poking you repeatedly until you sat up. “We got TikToks to make.. Oh, and Rach text you” she said still as loud and bouncy as ever. Asking how you’d received texts as you’re still in the air she said she’d taken the liberty of logging you onto the complimentary WiFi. You stared at her unbelievably, this is how the other half lives aih? You asked what she had lined up for you, she spoke about a few ideas and before you knew it you were at the back of the plane learning dances. It must be exhausting being her team mate, she just does not stop - even with a dodgy knee!

Another hour passed when you landed in Barcelona, stepping out of the plane the hot air hit you like a brick wall, quickly pulling your jumper off and letting the sun rays soak you up. This is exactly what you needed after a long, harsh English winter - you couldn’t wait to plop your bikini cad arse on a sun lounger!

After checking in to your hotel room you threw your suitcase onto the bed, immediately rummaging through everything to unpack. Finding your new bikinis and putting one on before flopping onto the bed to FaceTime Rach to let her know you had arrived safely. The call didn’t last long as she started acting jealous again, hanging up with love and jokes so she knew you loved her but enjoyed the luxury of being able to switch her off this time. Grabbing your towel and lotion you wasted no time getting straight to the pool, finding a perfect lounger to station yourself at to get lost in your book. Finishing a few chapters when someone blocked the sunlight to your body, looking over your sunglasses to see that Millie had found you - there goes the peace and quiet! Cocktails in hand she parked herself on the lounger next to you, she talked about how the Man City girls are out here too and asked if we wanted to go out with them tonight. Of course you were up for this and started planning what outfit to wear in your head. Surprisingly enough, Millie had also bought a book with her and laid with you to read a few more chapters while getting a good start on your tan.

Before heading back to you grabbed a bite to eat together then shuffled back to your room to shower and wash your hair. Running to Millie’s room still in your towel to sit on the balcony and dry off together, eating and pre drinking your way into the evening. When you were nicely tipsy you bought all your things to her room to get ready together - the music was loud, the drinks were flowing and before you knew it it was time to go. Stepping out of the bathroom after getting changed you could feel your friend’s eye on you “god (y/l/n), you have no business looking that hot!” Trying to disguise the smile that was etched on your face as you weren’t expecting those words to leave her mouth, “not bad yourself Brighty!” you tried to play it off. Rach had already said that if it feels right go for it but to tell her everything after, so you weren’t completely off the table to each other while you were away. Snapping a few photos and sending them to Rach before heading into town to meet Ellie, Alex, Chloe and Demi in a karaoke bar. Later that evening Lucy and Keira made an appearance too.

Part Six - FWB 🔞

[dwaekkicidal]

Guess who's back

Back again

Shady's back

Tell a friend

I'm sorry I didn't come by earlier but I have a few deadlines to meet *cough* book rep *cough* and I had to study and I was out with friends and shit so I didn't talk to anyone outside my close contacts :< *Chrissapointed in herself*

Ahenyways I need to yap to someone so be prepped for a long ass thing (*huff* and no, it's not what you think it is you dirty minded lil otter ---)

So thing one I'm going nuts about is I can't fliPPING FIND THIS FUCKING FIC RRRRRAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH >:c

I'm like genuinely enraged over here bcuz my stupid ass didn't save the link and like I wanna read it so bad rn its unhealthy ... Worst thing is I remember finding it over a taglist and I've checked all the accs on the taglist and it's not there :(( and when I look for the title it doesn't come up 😔😔

Secondly, SKZ music. [I'm sorry but I can't talk abt it to anyone irl] I'm not even talking about the music videos, or the meanings behind the words and lyrics, I'm just referring to the tracks on Spotify.

MIROH. Voices. YAYAYA. My pace. District 9. Grow up. Astronaut.

Sure, it's not the whole album, but- excuses-moi??!!?? Just to start on MIROH. It's like, funny bcuz of the instrumentals but the text gives it like a serious vibe too and the rapping -- (we love) oh and not to forget the lion and the eagle fighting in the background.

Then, Voices. To this day, I can't decide if it's:

"step out on the(m) voices"

OOOOOORRRRRRRR

"still battle them voices"

And I haven't done research, so may this rest in the MLD* forever.

(*MLD = Misheard Lyrics Department)

Then, YAYAYA. I'm amazed by the genre range of stray kids because to me that's one of the most rock/metal songs I've heard. And then to imagine Jiji playing it on a fancy e-guitar... I mean I'm delusional but even that is out of reach. On that note, Changbin's raps are giving *✨sparkle sparkle✨* lately, especially bcuz I feel like in SKZ2020 his rapping is pretty present? Iykyk I don't flippin' know how to phrase it.

On the note of Changbin, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE the first part he has in my pace. And in general his parts in that song. Idk how to phrase it (again) but I really think it's absolutely cool that his voice sounds so... this is gonna sound so weird... Scratchy. Like he's just been screaming his loungs out doing god knows what and then recording. And he sounds like a duck lmfao (I can't explain what I mean because I don't have enough standard vocabulary for this but yeh), like his voice is kinda deep but also like light and like squawky/scratchy and like idk what I'm rambling here :3

(ot8 speaking btw)

District 9, no comment. Just vibin' n enjoyin' in front of the bathroom mirror.

Grow up is giving kdrama final episode happily ever after outro//lofi study session in a library vibes. .... Delusions kicking and picturing that kdrama scenario rn, smh...

Astronaut: "MC happily moving back to their childhood hometown after being abroad for ten years Roadtrip" and filming/vlogging on the way back - kinda vibe. Or one of those DIY videos with the nice music and annoying DIYs.

Next up, Charmer. I don't know shit about the meaning of the text but ain't no way I won't vibe to that banger. It's just me being an uneducated little shit, ik, but who needs translations if I get the vibe without it?

Then, Novel. I don't speak a single syllable Japanese. But holy mother o' God, will I be shouting that

"MASHIRO NAKAMI NI OMOI" *so sorry if this ain't the correct romanization, I do it by ear so-*

either quietly when I have my earpods in and and have to get ready for bed or really loud when I'm out in the fields with my music.

On that note, I also dislike if theres a Japanese AND a Korean version of a song that I like. Like, with THE SOUND, I really like the Japanese version but I also kinda like the Korean version but I always have high hopes it's the Jap ver and then I get disappointed when it isn't but I'm also too lazy to kick the kor ver from my playlist :/

So I'm really exhausted rn because I had a sleepover at my friend's, technically speaking a girl's night ( = >2 hrs of sleep for me) and technically I wanna say bye rn but. Hold up.

So we're four girls, and out of us all I'm likely the most clingy. Like, I luv hugs and holding hands (in a platonic way) and cuddles and Skinship and et cetera , and it was like:

TV

Friend 1 - Friend 2 - Me - Friend 3

And 1&2 took up very much space so 3 almost fell off the couch.

And then we were like watching horror movies (my requests for anime or httyd were denied bcuz it's kid's movies and they all liked horror movies better)

Anyhow, my hand ended up on 3's thigh. Like, in a "I'm her boyfriend" kinda manner. I didn't notice. (HOW???) Then, SHE noticed and went like, ey let's take a snap and send it to my ex and pretend you're my bf!

spoiler alert, if anything I'd be gf material. I mean, yes, compared to hers my hands are huge and yes my voice is quite low/deep but bf? Ik it was pretense but still... I mean my boys kinda count me as a boy too but that's different.

Yesterday I also learned, it's genetically stated if you're straight or homosexual. Like, it's in your DNA if you're straight, bi, gay, asexual or any other identification there is. The only thing you really do is realize what you are and label yourself like it. Come to talk about it, what's your opinion on the LGBTQ community?

Did you drink any macha already this week? Or does your fancy drink change with season? And if so, what do you drink? I drink hot chocolate and children's punch. Like, the steaming hot fruit juice if you know what I mean.

Love,

- 🦦

dont be sorry or disappointed in urself! :)) ive also been really MIA especially on tumblr. ive still been writing on the side but i havent been on here much since i last posted lol

i genuinely love most of the skz songs ive heard, but out of all the "noise" music MIROH and My Pace are probably in my top 10 (miroh is prob in my top 3 tbh lol)

im bisexual so im part of lgbtq community :3 and all of my closest friends (minus the two hetero men lol) are lgbt as well!

no matcha this week :(( ive been out of the powder to make it at home and i havent been able to go out to a cafe/dunkin donuts to get it made for me </3

[athanasia-day]

In honor of the Suicide Prevention Month I think i like to share some thoughts about it and some realizations I just had. I'll be writting this in English and it isn't really my native language, so bare with me.

It was early December of 2021, I was a few months over 16 when I decided that I was finally done with life. Being honest, the idea of suicide had already crossed my mind since I was really young, when? I couldn't exactly tell you, but I was really young when I came to understand that, I wasn't scared of death like everyone else, instead, I crave it.

I can not by any means tell you what made me and still makes me so sad. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't love myself enough, that I didn't feel loved or maybe I was just born sad and tired.

Since kid, I was one of those smarty pants girls who loved books and praise from anyone around me, I craved validation.

So, in 2021, when my anxiety and depression hit me the hardest, I simply dropped, there isn't other word I could use to describe it. I stopped caring about grades or making friends, I only wanted to sleep for hours and to read in a quiet place.

A fact that I always remind myself now that I'm in uni and everyone keeps asking why I choose this career, I always said "it's what I wanted to do since I was a kid" because that was the last time I imagine myself as an adult. After that? I didn't see myself living past my sixteens. Even now it's difficult for me imagining a day where I'll be 30.

That December, when my grades arrived I just knew that I had disappointed my family, and I think that was the last straw at that moment, the only thing keeping me sane was the need of validation. Without that? I was lost.

So, 16 years old me decided that I was gonna take advantage of my family not keeping tabs of the multiple pills we had. I didn't know how It worked, and I'm thankful that it didn't cross my mind to do more research.

I remember my mother screaming at my dad because of my grades as my older brother hugged me, saying that they were just grades, that I least didn't fail any subject or something.

That night, while I was hiding in my family room (where we all slept together except for my older brother), I was lying on my little brother's bed while I was planning.

When it was midnight, I went down stairs knowing mom would be asleep and I checked the pills and grabbed some. I went to my brother's bed again and lay there with the pills.

And yes, as horrorific as it sounds, I was ready to die in my brother's bed, and thinking about that, what the hell was I thinking? The twins were both 10, and they would be the first ones to find my body, how could they ever sleep on those beds again? Knowing that their sister died there?

I was just lying there and processing if I should really go on with my plan when I decided to text my friend to get some help or to simply say goodbye, after all, my parents' goodbye letters have already been written years ago.

So, it was like 2 a.m when I texted my friend, Andrea, and yes, I'm name dropping her because she's an amazing human being and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her.

I got into a long talk with her, and even though it didn't change my mind, she made me promise to go out with them some days later. I didn't know that she shared our conversation with our others friends till days later on the outing I saw my friends conversation with another one.

And, it may not sound like much, how could a simple hang out mean so much that it makes you change you mind on suicide? But it meant the world to me, but it reminded me that I am loved, that there would be people who would cry and miss me. It gave me what I had lost sight of, that I was more than some value defined by the things I did or haven't done.

A month later I made a new letter that I personally read to my dad, and I don't think he really understood how deeply hurt I was or how bad the situation was before, but the hug he gave that day cured a lot of wounds that I didn't even knew where there.

Today, I had a very good day, and I'm thankful to say that I enjoyed so much more of life that I would have if I had taken that choice when I was 16.

I realized that, if I had taken that choice, my mom and family would had buried two bodies in a month, my grandpa's, my mom's dad who passed away a few days after my outing, and mine.

Today, I'm 19, because I was reminded by the people who really cared about me that I was more than what I saw in the mirror, that I was more than some bad grades.

Today, I'm 19, studying a career that I can't tell you right now if I love, but that I certainly like. I go to uni Monday to Friday, I work in the morning, I'm studying English and looking to study more languages.

Today, I'm 19, because even if my mom and I fought a lot, I still love her enough to stay by her side, because I love our fights even though I cry a lot during them, because I love how she bakes chocolate cakes and hears me when I talk about Taylor Swift, Doctor Who, Percy Jackson or whatever I'm obsessing at the moment.

Today, I'm 19, because Andrea, Vicky, Jonathan and Maru where there for me and loved me even when I couldn't do it myself. And I'm so very thankful for that, and I swear that I'll live to the fullest with the new life they gave me.

And you, who is reading this, stranger, friend or someone I know that I decided to share this with, know that you're loved, even if you can't see it.

I won't lie to you, it will hurt, you will have your drops, but, and as cliche as it sounds, life is not only about the bad things in our life. It's about that chocolate cake that awaits for you at the table, about that book you still haven't finished, about that friend who would forever remind you as a more than a depressed person, but as their soulmate.

Take care, and thank you for reading.

[itsybiggy]

Stuck With Me: Book 1

🕷️(Cute Peter Parker slow burn, less spiderman action more just good ol awkward Parker.)

🕷️Peter has been in a bad mood all month, but with soon to be divorced parents, trying to figure out what's wrong with him is the last thing Lani needs. Thankfully summer break is here. Lani, Ned, Peter, and MJ set off on the summer vacation road trip to California. Drama ensues

Next part

CHAPTER 1: paint job

Lania's POV

Today is just one of those weeks, well months. It feels like each day drags on, but then all of the sudden it's Monday again. You just wonder "what have I been doing, why are all the days mushing together?" I guess it could be the rain, it's been raining almost every day this week. Rain always gets Peter moody. I guess because it's annoying getting rained on while you're just trying to do your job, swinging through the city. Ned just hates rain, and I have a dog who loves the mud but hates baths. I'm pretty sure Michelle is the only one who likes it.

"It's great antisocial weather." She always says.

Another contributing factor to the days running together is the feeling that they are all the same. Wake up, hear screaming from parents downstairs, get ready for school, hear dad slam the door to go to work, eat with crying mom downstairs, go to school, hang out with Ned, Peter, and Michelle, come home, do homework, and go to bed.

Considering I'm with my friends most of the day it's not too bad. But I'm just tired of it all.

I have no idea what I'll do when I'm finished painting my van. "My life will be a whole new level of boring " I sigh, once again dipping my brush into the paint can. The satisfying strokes of the rust-colored car turning the to the calming sage green, help me relax me. I skip a depressing song on my playlist and go for a Canned Heat song instead. That and the heavy rain is enough that no noise in the house can be heard in the garage. Silence at the Kahale house was hard to come by so I welcomed it with open arms, as the paint fumes danced in my nostrils.

That's when the daydreaming started, it had almost become routine. Something to look forward to while I painted and did other maintenance on Caroline. It was pretty much the same scenario every time. Kind of pathetic honestly. Some variation of the the same outcome at least.

Todays day dream starts off with Peter coming over in the night, having something to tell me. He climbs through the window in his spider-man suit. He wears it so he can be at my apartment even faster. I go to the window, confused why he's here. only for him to rush in take off his mask and tell me he is in love with me. And then of course we makeout.

Ok, I know it's weird and not realistic. First off, I am so hard in the friend zone. Second, no one just does that-but hey a girl can dream. But really she can't because her cush is way out of her league. I mean come on he's Spiderman!

I was the second to find out, Ned being the first. Though, I'm pretty sure me and Michelle knew around the same time. He came home one day after "the Stark internship" with the biggest black eye I had ever seen.

I was talking with Aunt May when he came home. He did a double glance at me and then darted for the bathroom.

"Peter?" Aunt May said, just as confused as I was.

"I just have to go to the bathroom!" He called out.

But he didn't know that I got a quick look of his eye before he bolted. That, and like a year ago all of the sudden he went from cute Lil' Peter to-shredded, chiseled, and taller Peter. A couple of other things had happened and it made us all suspicious. So, as soon as he ran off to his room, I got up and followed him. It took me about 60 seconds to find his suit.

The sudden pause in my music took me back into reality.

It was a text from Michelle in the group chat.

michael jackson: Hey nerds, how does Good Eats sound to you guys?

I was the first to respond

Lani: sounds amazing, I'm starving :))))

Bubby🖕🏻💗: sure but I've got no cash 😒

I roll my eyes. Ned has been putting off getting a job for months.

Lani: I'm freaking loaded so I can pay for you 😘😘

Bubby🖕🏻💗: thanks a love

Lani: I got u bb 🤠

michael jackson: get a room

itsy bitsy ❤️💙: Or just stop.

Bubby🖕🏻💗: ayy Peter you coming?

itsy bitsy❤️💙: I guess.

Lani: want me to pick you guys up?

michael jackson : Nah I don't trust your driving after the whole incident

Lani: ???

Bubby🖕🏻💗: Yess plss

itsy bitsy ❤️💙: No.

My mood sinks, if that makes sense. Seems like Peter is annoyed with me, and I don't know why. I shake my head. Texts always sound passive aggressive. But something about periods and short, serious answers make me question if it was just that. What if he was actually being passive-aggressive?

Guess I'll find out tonight.

michael jackson : What time is good for you guys? I was thinking 6.

Lani: sounds great to me! What time to you want to be picked up bubby?

Bubby is what I can Ned, he is pretty much my twin brother. Our humor is very similar so we can just make stupid jokes to each other all the time.

Bubby🖕🏻💗: 5:30 works great for me. Thanks ❤️!

Lani: don't mention it 💛!

Peter still hasn't replied. Maybe there is something wrong. I bite my lip and decide to text him away from the group chat.

Lani: hey Peter, you ok? :)

itsy bitsy : 💬

The bubble goes up and down as he is typing before it disappears from my screen. I wait for it to return, but it doesn't. I decide to text Michelle and Ned, but Michelle beats me to it.

michael jackson : is it just me or is bug boy off?

Lani: was just about to say the same thing. I tried asking but he just left me on read.

michael jackson: I'll talk to him.

Lani: :( ok tell him we love him if he replies to you. I'm kind of worried about him.

michael jackson : will do.

I notice a lack of Ned in this discussion, but before I can think of it any more I see my clock says 4:49. I close the paint can and head inside.

That's when I get hit in the head with a plastic cup.

"Ow what the frick!" I exclaimed.

My mom comes rushing over to me. "Oh Lani, I didn't see you!" She glares up at my dad who is on the other side if the room. He looks very mad. "It was meant for your father."

I don't know what I'm supposed to say to this. I decide a not addressing it. They seems to be in a bad mood already. "It's fine whatever." will do. The little voice in my head faintly whispers but it's not fine. I push it down. "Mom's going through a lot right now, she doesn't have to think of me" overpowers the whisper as I leave the room. My mind is blank except for the thought of the minor, but definitely there, pain on the side of my face.

Usually—or I guess from what I've heard from some kids at school who also have divorced parents, only one of them is crazy, or unfaithful, etc... what luck that I got two crazy parents. They were fine on their own, normal chill mom and normal chill dad even before the fighting started. But something about them together made for a toxic explosion, they were not themselves anymore. Both equally to blame for the downfall of their marriage, which disintegrated only a year after it started. Right when I was born.

They have never said this out loud but, I know they blame me.

Instead of dwelling on that plastic cup, I make myself busy getting ready for tonight. That's the fun thing about liking someone, having a crush, you can get all done up.

I already have this up on wattpad, but if you hate that format I’ve got it here for you now. Tell me what you think!!

[fiendfriend]

Thoughts on Kafka’s Metamorphosis (ballet) but if you're looking for something eloquent and well thought out, y'ain't gonna find it in here!

I finally decided to track down the royal ballet’s production of the metamorphosis after spending some time with a friend, mutually hating on that one atrocious Goodreads review of the novel itself. You know the one. Being generally ill and having had it impact my ability to work/”be productive” as well as my relationship with my family and to a certain extent my friends, I care quite a bit about the original text. I bought a copy from Border's in the 8th grade, read the majority of it sitting cross-legged on the floor of the aisle, and begged my dad to “loan me” the $12 to get it. No one really talked to me about this book and probed deeper into my investment in it until I was in a high school remedial English class. (It was jokingly called the burnout convention by students. Our teacher did not enjoy this in the slightest.) I think that was the first time I had a conversation like that with anyone beyond surface-level close reading that they teach you how to do throughout most middle to high school English classes. The kind that people get mad at on the internet. “Sometimes the curtains are just blue!” You know. I liked those activities and thought they were really fun, and wanted to learn how to do them at a more complex (?) level for all of the things I liked. Which, if I talk to you a lot, is probably pretty obvious. 

Anyway. The ballet. I wasn't sure what to expect. I’d only seen still images and avoided the trailers and official clips because I wanted to be surprised, but I knew it was going to be visceral, mostly because I don't think it’s possible for the metamorphosis not to be? But I don't really know how to interact with ballet aside from just sitting back and allowing it to happen. No idea where to start with breaking down any of the resulting interpretations or feelings afterward. 

The set is split equally into two rooms – Gregor’s bedroom, and the main room of the Samsa apartment. Everything is bright white and gradually becomes dirtied by a dark oil or grease that gradually gets spread around by Gregor himself while he writhes and contorts around alone in his room. 

I think what most surprised me, out of everything, was the I guess obfuscation of dialogue. Dialogue isn't exactly a thing in most (all?) ballet, so as far as I know with a half-assed Google search, this is an unconventional decision. My knowledge is limited. I’ve seen The Nutcracker like once, and half of Swan Lake. 

Grete, Mr. and Mrs. Samsa, the housecleaner, and the bearded men all speak at one point or another, but it’s completely unintelligible thanks to the backing score. Could be gibberish and I wouldn't know a thing! I enjoy this aspect quite a bit. Gregor Samsa is the protagonist here, and when your family is reacting to your existence with anger, disgust, and fear, I don't think the exact words matter at all. When your father is screaming and throwing apples at you, or the housecleaner is loudly and angrily shouting at you over a mess you cannot in any possible way clean yourself, the message is pretty clear. I keep thinking about it. I’ve been there, where I know for a fact somebody is angry at me in the other room, and they’re shouting or slamming things around, but I can't make out what they’re saying. It’s terrifying. It makes you feel like shit. The muffling of clear dialogue perfectly captures the fear and shame that come with anger and resentment. Grete at first continues to be warm toward Gregor, but she too comes to resent him when he becomes inconvenient. She goes from lying by his closed door and playing music to screaming at him within the span of twenty or so minutes. It’s easier for her to love him when he remains unseen in his room. Her quick turnaround seems to coincide with the three dark figures who appear in Gregor’s room at night. This is an aspect unique to the ballet. After some thought, I think these figures can be representative of the last affectionate tie Gregor had with other humans being in the process of severing. I’m taking the three dark figures to be Gregor’s “chaos”, opposite of the “order” represented by the three bearded men. They mark Gregor as being one of them with additional grease, as excreted by Gregor’s insect body. The room becomes gradually filthier as Gregor is neglected and negativity toward him builds up within the family.

Obviously, the section in which the bearded men appear is condensed quite a bit compared to the novel. The “order” of the bearded men and the main room of the Samsa apartment and the “chaos” of Gregor’s bedroom and Gregor himself meet within the span of one song, more or less, while the family dances with the bearded men. Gregor quickly escapes his room and spreads the dark oil/grease coating his body to the bright white of the kitchen, setting off the outburst from his father. In the novella, the apple becomes lodged in his back. He is still their family. There is no reason why he should not be included, save for the revulsion and resentment of others. He can’t be included, because the only way for his family to enjoy the order of the bearded men is through Gregor’s absence. 

I’m not familiar with dance as an art form at all. I fully trust that these professionally trained dancers are aware of the limitations of their bodies. Still, watching Edward Watson contort and writhe is painful at times. His body becomes foreign and upsetting and alien, easily invoking the mental image of a bug stuck on its back by splaying his fingers and toes and twisting his limbs, and it’s perfect. I found myself wincing in sympathy at any particular awkward movement that I know I’d hurt myself attempting. Fittingly, while he hurts to look at, and is covered in the dark grease of his perceived lack of humanity, his eyes are always perfectly visible and perfectly human. I’m so grateful that this was filmed the way it was. I really don’t think I would have come away with the same level of… whatever I feel about it if I hadn’t been able to see his eyes. 

There’s much more that’s stuck with me that I can’t exactly detangle this soon after watching, or only after watching it once. I may sit down and spend some more time with it in a little while, maybe a few days. There’s a lot I haven't touched on at all, like the score being filled with things like alarm clocks and train whistles and the way it seamlessly flows from beautiful to minimalistic to terrifying. Until I sort all that out, here are some photos of the production. First row of three by Alastair Muir, second row of three by Tristram Kenton.