#me ignoring my replies bc i had muse for this lol

[halimayronwood]

in old town, the last remaining old way septon on the most devout, septon demir, has been murdered, his throat cut in his chambers. the murder weapon, a ceremonial knife, was found amongst the belongings of a servant in the employ of the high septon, implicating him explicitly in the killing.

there is a greater conspiracy at work here, known only to those involved, to topple the high septon by framing him for this murder.

the murderer was in fact halima yronwood, who was tasked to do so by cedric tyrell, the mastermind behind the plot. this is information known only to cedric and halima.

in the space of one night, halima departed dorne in a ship bound for old town, committed the murder, hid the weapon, and left the reach, back in dorne before sunrise. true to her word, she was not seen, and her involvement remains a secret.

this is the tldr, self para is under the cut.

the faint breeze carried the salt air of the whispering sound down the alley, and with it came halima yronwood, slipping from shadow to shadow with less presence than the wind itself. this city was not hers, but such was her way - she could roar and blaze, could make herself known when she needed to domineer or unsettle, but this was where she thrived, the unseen knife in the dark. it was where she belonged, turning herself into a void where both light and sound ceased to exist. this city was not hers, but that did not matter - she had studied it, consumed it, and for tonight, she would reign over it in the way only a shadow could. the difference this time was that she was not wielding her blade for house yronwood, but for cedric tyrell, the king of roses. her reasons for accepting were her own, but the life of a manwoody was a motivator for her alone, not a factor in what was to occur tonight.

her movements were deliberate, each step too light to leave the faintest whisper of a sound. she'd done this before - in and out before any knew she was there, like a vengeful wraith. not to this scale, though. the domed roof of the starry sept loomed before her, a beacon in the moonlight, built to draw awe and reverence, but to halima, it's splendour was meaningless. for a moment, she paused to study the edifice, sharp eyes missing very little as she tracked the intricacies of the marble walls, the narrow passages that wound its perimeter, seeing only its cracks and weaknesses. if she could get up onto one of the balconies, it would be a simple task to get to where she knew septon demir kept his living quarters. it was nothing like her homeland, but halima left nothing to chance. she had come here prepared, and what she had found was, thus far, exactly what she expected. it reeked of grandeur and decay in equal measure.

the gods had not watched her in years. that, she was sure of. they had turned their backs upon her when she was naught but a girl, too young to understand betrayal, and she had returned the favour in kind. her soul had long been destined for the hells, perhaps even before she had been born. tonight, when she had spilled the blood of one of their most favoured, they would regret allowing her to slip from their gaze. this was the cost of their neglect.

but it mattered not tonight that she no longer sought the approval of the gods, mattered not that she had private scores to settle. what mattered was ishaan and kabir, and the fact that what she did tonight was for the both of them, and neither they nor armaan would ever know of it. the life of this septon demir meant nothing to her, not when his death meant ensuring their legacy.

the faith. the gods. piety. they were all hollow masks worn by men who feared death but lacked the courage to name it. halima didn’t fear death. she’d met it, time and time again, and sent it in the direction of others without hesitation.

she'd reached the wall surrounding the sept, the stone walls easier to climb than the marble of the building itself. if she could get atop it, she should be able to reach a balcony on the first floor, and work her way up the building undetected. scaling the outer wall was almost too easy, boots finding purchase in the rough stone effortlessly. she paused near the top, craning her neck so she could see over the stone before hauling herself above it. her caution was well-rewarded. two septons, carrying lanterns and chatting softly, walked through the courtyard, novices, by the look of them, no doubt on their way to evening prayer. once they had passed, she pulled herself up, balancing precariously on the top of the wall. there could be no room for mistakes tonight. error was weakness, and there was no room for weakness in the world she was carving for those two boys who needed her to dirty her hands so they did not have to.

she looked to the balcony, and she leapt.

her hands found the iron railing, and the muscles in her back strained as she pulled herself up and over, but there was no time to rest. she had studied plans of the sept, and a quick glance through the painted windows confirmed what she had hoped - she had found herself outside a private chapel, mercifully empty at this time of night. she had planned this meticulously - to get to demir, she would need to go three up, and two to the left, and so that was what she did, beginning the process of balancing on the railings, much as she had done the wall, and launching herself upwards, knowing the higher she got, the less room there could be for error. every step, every handhold, even every breath had been rehearsed a hundredfold in her mind. she would not fall. this would not go wrong. she would not allow it. her movements were almost cat-like, and it was not until she reached the balcony of septon demir did she allow herself to pause, shrinking into the shadows as she peered through his windows to take stock of where he was.

cedric's tyrell's instructions echoed in her mind, clear and unrelenting. the man, the last remaining old way septon amongst the most devout, had to die, and the blame must fall upon the high septon himself. the second part was cedric's burden, but this, the blood and the silence and the violence of it all - this was all upon her shoulders now. she had promised, and she would deliver. the strands of hair that had escaped her braid were plastered to her head with sweat. this was not a crime she committed - it was precision, the removal of a rotting limb before it festered. before the moon set, she would deliver him to his gods. perhaps he would thank her for it. the smell of insence drifted from inside his rooms, burning the inside of halima's nose. it made her irrationally angry. men like him peddled righteousness, but she knew better. she knew that true power came not from prayer, but who was holding the steel, and who was prepared to use it.

her hand found the knife in her pocket, not one of her own, it's grip different to the khukuri blade she favoured. that had been intentional - in her pocket was a simple ceremonial knife, common enough in the faith of the seven, the jewel in the pommel in the shape of the seven pointed star and the engravings on the blade devoting it to the stranger, her own private joke. there were hundreds like it in old town - and that meant it would be impossible to trace to her. a single stoke, swift and silent, was all it would take.

her gloved hand reached out to test the outer handle, turning it slowly. it had been left unlocked, unguarded, and the winds themselves seemed to still as she pushed it open without a noise.

she had already glimpsed him through the window - frailed, hunched, and insignificant, facing away from her towards the glow of the single candle that illuminated the room. and when she looked at the back of his figure, halima felt... nothing. no hatred, no rage, just the cold calculation of a task to be complete. the only sounds in the room were the quiet scratch of his quill, even as she closed the door behind her, without a click or a thud. he was alone, utterly unaware of the predator that had entered his sanctuary, and as halima moved closer, she drew the knife from her pocket. it was always fascinating to see the moment before they realised she was there. before their hearts raced, before the sharp sting of steel or the hot rush of blood. she relished the power of it, the inevitability. he was hers already, though he didn’t know it yet. for ishaan and kabir, came her final thoughts before she struck, the names a prayer in her mind. for them, she would kill a hundred septons, drown oldtown in crimson if that's what it took.

she did not hesitate. there was no pause, no moment of consideration between what was and what would be. instead, she moved swiftly. when she was a hairs breadth away, demir's head began to turn, as though he sensed her there at last, but it was too late. she wrapped one arm around his shoulders, pulling him back against her, and the other drove the knife into his neck, drawing it from left to right in a single, precise motion. it met little resistance. she had known it wouldn't - it was far easier than people assumed to drive a blade into the neck. she felt the warmth of his blood coat her glove, heard the wet, desperate gurgle as he clawed at her arm. it didn’t matter. it never mattered. his struggle was brief, a mere twitch of a dying thing, and then he stilled. she let him fall forward, the wood beneath his face already darkening with red. her task was complete. pulling the knife from his neck, she stepped back, her expression as calm as if she had done little more than extinguish the candle.

the next part of her task had not been part of cedric's instructions - she were giving it to him for free, and yet, she had little time to act. she opened the door, leaving it ajar for the body to be discovered, and darted through the halls. the weapon would not stay with her - it would remain in the starry sept, her last gift to the king of the reach. there would be no loose ends - not when she was creating a masterpiece. she cared not if she left a trail of blood behind her. let them find the blood, let them follow the trail. it would not lead to her. she came across none on the way to her destination, though she remained alert, ready to slaughter any who came across her path to ensure her own escape. let them come for her - she was already vanishing through their fingers.

and then she was here, in the servants quarters, those who worked within it busy helping their masters ready themselves for sleep, oblivious to the storm she had unleashed here tonight. demir would be found soon, and she knew she had little time to work with. she withdrew from her belt a leather pouch, tucked the knife within it, still wet and sticky with blood, and stashed it amongst the belongings of a servant in the high septon's employ, hiding it just enough to draw suspicions. when they turned the sept upside down looking for evidence, they would see the blood still upon it, an irrefutable link to the crime. and then it was the final stretch, her route out of the starry different to the one she had taken in - out the back way. the servants entrance yawned before her, the outer wall a familiar challenge. by the time they pieced it together, she would already be gone, already vanished into the night, back to the docks where the king's ship waited to see her back to dorne.

she had done it.

halima boarded the ship without a word to the crew, retreating to a small cabin where she could clean the blood from her hands, change her clothes, and pack what she was wearing into a small canvas sack, already weighted, that she would throw into the sea on the way. she would be back to dorne before the sun rose. the faint scent of iron clung to her fingers, despite the fact her hands looked clean. the smell was a familiar one, one she had never quite managed to wash away.

and still, she felt no remorse, no doubt. when she was back in kingsgrave, she would not lose sleep over what she had done. it had all been for house yronwood, for ishaan, kabir, and armaan. cedric tyrell might have made her a pawn in schemes she cared very little for, but she would rest soundly knowing her part in it had secured what needed to be secured. she was always theirs, before she was every anything else.

[boombambaby]

respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

roleplayer name: Cas!

roleplayer pronouns: she/her -- though I usually go by character's name/gender or don't really care tbh.

muse name(s): Kuzco!

preferred communication: I'm pretty open everywhere. I'm off Weds/Thurs, and I work from 6am - 2pm EST. At work I have access to Tumblr so I can be reached in DM's, and on Discord on breaks. after work I'm usually here for DM's or on Discord all evening until about 10pm EST (though I should try to get to bed earlier tbh). I'm admittedly terrible at communicating, though. You can reply to me, and I'll open it up and read it and be doing something else, and think 'i'll get to it in a few minutes!' and then completely forget that it exists. On that same note, i'm also always worried I'm bothering someone, so I rarely reach out first for messages unless I have a specific question or something. I love to chat though, or discuss our characters or ideas or. . ANYTHING, honestly. I just sometimes need a nudge.

experience: I've been writing/roleplaying since 2005! Started with Myspace and AIM roleplay, moved from there to LiveJournal for a hot minute and then Facebook, Twitter, and eventually Roleplayer.me. Always said I'd NEVER join Tumblr, bc it seemed so confusing, but. Here we are!

preferred roleplay type: I'm a fan of all kinds. I LOVE banter or crack roleplay. It's my all time favorite, and I think it's the best tool for personality building a character you can have. Thinking on your feet in character can be a BLAST and it's just. So fun. Some of the best interactions come from that or prompts. I'm also a fan of sentence multi-para though I have a tendency (if you couldn't tell) to ramble and turn it into a novella pretty easily.

pet peeves & dealbreakers: I honestly don't have any dealbreakers. I've been doing this so long I've learned to roll with the punches, mostly. I'd have to really think about pet peeves, but I don't think I have any. I've had bad situations in the past, I'm sure everyone has. I don't like overly possessive writing partners. If we ship and we're single ship, that's fine. But don't try to dictate who I can and can't speak to or write with. It honestly takes a lot to upset me. Don't include me in drama, don't count me as a number and never interact or straight up ignore me, don't leave me hanging forever (I'm very lenient with replies, I will NEVER pressure you, but if it's been months I might start to question what's going on.) and we'll be cool. EDIT TO ADD; THOUGHT OF A PET PEEVE. RL issues and politics! I understand that the world is a WILD place right now, and there are controversial topics and that everyone has an opinion. That's all fine and good; BUT I ROLEPLAY SPECIFICALLY TO GET AWAY FROM REAL LIFE AND STRESS, and the very LAST thing I want to see on my timeline is a post endorsing a presidential candidate, or posts showing a war zone, or any of the other trending topics right now. Roleplay is a fictional world we create with other writers. It's not that I don't care about those issues, I just don't think they have any place here. and the black outs and things that roleplayers do for 'support' and all that, I just. I don't get it. I don't want to see it. Same with the asks to support x family from x war torn country. Just. please. Don't.

best time to write: Probably in the morning while I'm at work, other than that I can be pretty sporadic. I love to relax and banter and do goofy stuff at night. But honestly, I'm always up for something!

are you like your muse? Ahhhhh, I'm gonna go ahead and say no lol. I can be quick, teasing and sarcastic when I get to know someone, and I'm pretty extroverted like Kuzco with a lot of things; but the cocky arrogance, all about me, flaunting his wealth and tossing people out of windows bit? Total and complete opposite of who I am. Writing him is definitely a TON of fun, and a very welcome relief from the stresses of real life, and I love writing for him so, so much.

tagged by: @wintersovereign

tagging: @smartylina @musemelodies @emeraldofparis @gunslinginnhogtyin @hellsmayflower @keepmovinjunior @lcafman

[ashrifts]

i kept falling asleep on and off ystd and today and got nothing done but i finally rise to torment ppl's inboxes 🔥 if u get smth feel free to close ur eyes and ignore him (as everyone should)

mannnn i was thinking abt this earlier today when making icons and remembering that when i picked ran up as a muse he had so little screentime i had to make icons out of my own fanart JHDKJFDG now i have a lot of material it kinda surprises me that i can usually find the right icon to use in replies from the manga/anime merch for threads LOL

i haven't had the time to but i have been meaning for the longest time to make a huge post explaining my characterization of ran backed up with screenshots from the manga with my personal interpretation of it bc i have a lot of thoughts (it's particularly important to me for people to know that he's very intelligent but also very stupid) -- but the funniest part was that, despite the htnis having such little relevance and canon info, i had guessed so much about him that was much later on confirmed in his character book entry lol

the fact that he was exactly 183cm tall, him being a gemini, a fashion enthusiast, took great care of his appearance to the point of embarrassing vanity, wanted to be a celebrity (a model to be exact), likes sweets, loves sleeping throughout the day, likes to sound smart but doesn't know what he's talking about in the first place, is a little lazy, has a humidifier and a mirror in his room (tho imo it should be bigger -- his closet, too), kakucho being his favorite most respected person, that he would either get along like a house on fire with hanma or would want to light hanma himself on fire (absolutely no in-between), the (unconfirmed) possibility that he and rindou grew up in poverty and they gained their own fortune through illicit means... im not saying wakui stole my ideas but im saying-

anyway i really need to update his carrd's bio section bc i only wrote the bare minimum. i exaggerate his whimsical side bc it's funny to me but he does have a lot going on behind that big ol' forehead of his.

[realcube]

haikyuu!! boys learning that you speak another language 💬

characters: sugawara, oikawa, bokuto, akaashi & kuroo

thanks to anon for this amazing request 💞

(y/n) = your name

(L) = language of your choice

tw// self deprecating joke, swearing 

Kōshi Sugawara

honestly, idk how he didn’t know that you spoke a second language before y’all started dating bc he seems like the sort of guy to ask those sort of questions while flirting/making conversating

but anyway, he probably learned that you spoke another language on the first date

he took you on a study date to the library and one of the subjects he was studying was French, and he was clearly struggling

‘ugh, this is quite tricky- we’ve got a test coming up and i can’t even remember how to say ‘bread���. hah, i’m definitely going to fail..’

you rolled your eyes, leaning across the table to deliver a gentle chop to his head, ‘negativity begone!’

sugawara chuckled before relaxing back in his chain, fidgeting with his pencil as he shifted his attention off his revision sheets and onto you, ‘did you take a language this year?’ he inquired, trying to make conversation to momentarily take his mind off the piles of revision he had to do

you squinted, biting your own tongue as you attempted to equally divide your attention between your date and the complex maths question you were working on, ‘no, i couldn’t be bothered. plus, i can speak (L) so it’s not as if i’m a monolinguist.’ 

suga blinked rapidly at this new information; so wondering if he had heard you correctly, he questioned further, ‘you speak (L)? really? i don’t think you’ve ever mentioned anything about that before.’

you shrugged, letting out a slight sigh before placing your pencil down; realising that if Suga was going to continue talking, it might be rude for you to keep working. ‘oh, have i not? well- now you know!’ you hummed, shooting your boyfriend a sweet smile.

‘how can one person be so smart and stunning?’ he mused, resting his cheek on his palm as his elbow was propped up onto the table

‘i should be asking you that, kōshi.’

he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how humble you were; ah, if only you knew how much he admired you. 

suga could only imagine being bilingual yet you could effortlessly speak a second language fluently, he was sure that if you were to take up volleyball, the team would waste no time in replacing him with you 

anyway, he was so impressed that you can speak (L) and he shows it lol

like if you talk down on yourself, he’ll call you out SO quick regardless but he will also mention your second language somehow lmao

for example:

you groaned upon skimming the message your professor sent you along with your test result, ‘ugh, i got 68% - so fucking close to an A! i’m so stupid..’

you thought sugawara was preoccupied with cooking dinner until he came rushing into your room, making you jolt when he slammed the door open, ‘who’s stupid?! are hinata & kageyama in here somewhere? because i know that you weren’t talking about yourself!’

you buried your face into your hands to not only let out a elongated groan, but also so he didn’t see the small smile tugging at the corner of your lips

‘and i know that you didn’t call my gorgeous, intelligent, selfless, bilingual sweetheart stupid! take that back, (y/n). ’

and he would not leave you alone until you took it back IUFHEIEVAB

also, another example.

you walked by a bright pink trash can with Suga by your side and in the interest of ✨ comedy ✨, you chuckled and blurted out, ‘hey, that’s me.’

‘if that trash can is bilingual, then yes.’

Tōru Oikawa

you probably first told him you spoke (L) a while into your relationship  — but not too long — so maybe like 6 months

and you only told him bc y’all were having an argument over the schoolwork and you were sure that your method was correct while oikawa thought otherwise

but after a while, it kinda just turned into a battle of ‘who is smarter?’ rather than trying to figure out who’s method was correct 

so you just blurted out from spite, ‘tough talk coming a one-language-speaking peasant.’ 

oikawa rolled his eyes, ‘how many languages do you speak then, smart-ass?’

‘english, japanese and (L)’

he blinked rapidly, unable to come up with a snarky remark, he cocked his head to the side and inquired, ‘you speak (L)?’

you nodded, your lips curling into a smile, ‘yep!’

grrr curse your adorable smile >:(

oikawa was simply unable to be mad anymore ✋ must give kithes to his  trilingual s/o instead (づ￣ 3￣)づ

he smirked back at you before pulling you in by your waist and peppering an infinite amount of kisses across your face, ‘awh, i didn’t know you speak 3 languages. you’re so clever, angel.’  he said in between kisses, using his strong grip to sway y’all side-to-side as he expressed his love

 and oikawa is kinda an exhibitionist sometimes so he will definitely mention that when he hypes you up/shows you off at events

and mf will never stop-

even after the time-skip 🤠

he’ll bring you to a party celebrating a cup victory for his team and while everyone there is trying to praise him for his perfect sets, he’s quite tipsy and just goes, ‘thank you. thank you. but have you seen (y/n) tonight? they look so gorgeous- especially their eyes, i hope our kids have their eyes.’ he rambled, his speech a bit slurred so everyone had to do a double-take to make sure they were hearing him correctly

was he seriously raving on about his s/o when he literally just won a world cup?

‘oh and did i mention they’re four-lingual? literally. they speak English, Japanese, (L) and Portuguese so they could live here with me.’

it was embarrassing in the moment but at least there was no press at the party

plus, you both always look back on these moments and laugh tbh

also, just bc he was drunk didn’t mean that his words were empty - he meant everything he said, the alcohol only helped him voice everything confidently 

Kōtarō Bokuto

ok so he learned that you spoke (L) 6 months into your marriage

his big personality makes up for his ignorance-

you were on call with a mutual friend who could also speak (L), hence you were both talking in (L) lol

meanwhile bokuto was just sitting on the other side of the couch and it took him half an hour to realise that you were speaking another language 

however, you were hardly alert either considering it took you god-knows how long to notice that bokuto was staring at you with wide, starry eyes

and you literally just froze- then proceeded to excuse yourself for a moment before muting your microphone

‘bo, are you alright? why are you looking at me like that?’ you asked, concern clear in your tone as you dropped your phone to rush over to him, hastily pressing the back of your had against his forehead

bokuto shook his head abruptly, snapping out of his glazed gaze to pull you onto his lap, ‘were you speaking a foreign language just there?!’

‘yeah, (L). I’m fluent.’ you replied, rather shocked as he went from a statue to his regular, energetic self in the blink of an eye

he cocked his head to the side with wide eyes  — and it was moments like these were you could really see the resemblance between him and an owl  — before wrapping you in a hug, resting his cheek on your shoulder. 

‘i didn’t know that you could speak (L), babe! that’s so fuckin’ cool! do you think you could teach me?’ 

you giggled, both from his lively response and how the vibrations from his speech tickled your neck

‘sure, but i have to finish my call first.’  you hummed before springing to your feet, grabbing you phone and strolling out of the living room to continue the call in the privacy of your bedroom

and don’t think bokuto forgot about you agreeing to teach him bc he was planking outside of the bedroom, waiting for you to finish your call so he could jump out at you once you tried to exit,

‘HOW DO YOU SAY ‘I’D LIKE FRIES WITH THAT’ IN (L)?!’  

‘FUCK!’ you screamed, your phone falling out of your hand as bokuto just jump-scared you in your own home

you try to teach him ofc but it’s quite difficult for him to learn (L) while he’s simultaneously trying to learn English and Spanish 

he didn’t exactly give up on trying to learn it but the frequency of his lil’ questions of ‘how do you say this is (L)?’ and ‘how do you say that in (L)?’ became less and less 

however, whenever you speak (L) in front of him, he always looks at you with wide, dreamy eyes - completely in awe at how clever you are and he’ll take every opportunity he can to praise you for it

oh and he has you saved in his phone as ‘gorgeous, bilingual wifey 😩💞💕💖’

Keiji Akaashi

he probably learns that you can speak another language on the second or third date

y’all were talking about hobbies you wanted to take up, then akaashi pulled out his note titled ‘ ↳ languages i should learn’ and the first one he uttered was (L) so you immediately chimed in

‘oh! i can speak (L)! i could teach you  — if you want.’

akaashi couldn’t help but smile softly; even though he had a bunch of assignments due, along with all the approaching tests he had to study for, he just couldn’t say no to your offer  — you just looked so excited

plus, there was no harm in trying to learn a language alongside his schoolwork

he humbly accepted; further inquiring about your links and relations with the (L) language

anyway, you never really sat akaashi down to teach him (L) or make him take notes or anything, you’d just began with integrating the occasional (L) in an english/japanese sentence

you’d tend to change the noun and given the context, akaashi would be able to figure out what it meant

for example, if y’all were vibin’ on the couch with the TV on in the background, you might ask him to pass the remote but replace the word ‘remote’ with the (L) translation

there was nothing else he could’ve passed to you so he understood that you meant remote

so slowly but surely  — without even realising that he’s learning  — he picks up on quite a lot of the vocabulary 

and by the time y’all are married, he’s basically fluent

oh and on your honeymoon (which is in Italy btw, I just know he’d take you somewhere with a rich history) you are chillin in the pool then out of the corner of your eyes you see akaashi approach you from the edge of the pool, before getting down on one knee 

and you were so confused for a second bc you thought he was proposing again even you recall getting married to him just a few days ago ◉_◉’

however, once he pulled out a box that seemed too large to contain a ring, it piqued your curiosity even more, ‘akaashi?’ you stuttered, eyes wide.

he opened it to reveal a simple silver bangle, pulled it out then offered his hand so he could cuff it around your wrist 

now that the cold metal of the bangle came in contact with your skin, you were finally able to read the text engraved into the silver 

and it was ‘i love you’ in (L) 

Tetsurō Kuroo

you probably told him that you could speak (L) quite early on in the relationship tbh 

he was really proud of you but he only took much of an interest a bit later on

he was just like ‘(y/n), do you know any languages other than japanese and english?’ over some chocolate-covered strawberries

you nodded, ‘yeah, (L). why?’

kuroo gasped, excitedly slamming the kitchen counter with the palm of his hand, ‘i need you to teach me some curses.’

you giggled, taking another bite of your strawberry, ‘heh, why?’

‘because kōtarō keeps muttering things about me in portuguese and oikawa keeps snickering at it - i think they’re bitching about me so two can play at that game.’ kuroo whined before looking at you then shooting you a charming smile, ‘so can you help me?’

he’s adorable so you smiled right back at him and chirped, ‘absolutely not.’

however, you kept his request in mind when you graciously began replacing all your english curses with those in (L)

and obviously he caught on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

thank you for enabling him, (y/n) 😌

[hwangsies]

[1:26 am]

mark lee x reader (smut)

warnings: makeup sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, penetration, a bad pun and mark loves ur tiddies

1 k words,

enjoy <3

-

[1:26 am] yeri – mark came by to look for you, I told him you went home already

[1:26 am] yeri – everything ok with you two?

You sigh looking at the texts your best friend sent you before typing a reply.

[1:27 am] you – yea we just had a little fight, that’s why he didn’t tag along tonight

[1:27 am] you – didn’t wanna ruin the mood so I didn’t say anything

[1:28 am] yeri – aw no babe you should’ve told me! I would’ve told him off then

You giggle at her reply, because she would’ve done that.

[1:29 am] you – it’s okay, it was really stupid anyways

Right as you hit send on your message, you hear your front door unlocking and mark walk in. You know its mark because you’ve been together long enough for you to recognize him by his footsteps and walking pattern, stumbling at least two times when taking off his shoes.

Quickly you turn off your phone and roll over to your side. Not ten second later your bedroom door gets gently pushed open.

“y/n? baby?” your boyfriend whispers, when you don’t answer he sneaks inside.

You hear him unbuckle his belt and slide the skinny jeans off of his legs before your blanket lifts behind you and he slips underneath.

Almost instantly you can feel the heat that radiates off of his body, his hand however is cold from outside when it slides over your upper arm.

“I know you’re awake” he whispers pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

You keep your eyes closed as he continues talking.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier baby, I was being a dick and I don’t even know why” his voice is soft as he apologizes.

“you were being a dick because you didn’t want me to wear that skirt” you remind him quietly.

“yea” he sighs “which was dumb, I’m really sorry I ruined your evening” he lays down on his side and slides his hand in between your arm and waist.

You turn around in his arms, his hand coming up to cup your cheek “I’m sorry” he whispers.

“I know” you nod before you press your lips to his.

“I got a bunch of compliments for that skirt, you know?” you mumble, playing with the neckline of his shirt.

“of course you did, because you looked hot as hell in it” he chuckles apologetically, running his fingers through your hair “I got defensive and insecure for no reason when I could’ve just been the guy with the most beautiful girl at that party but” he shakes his head softly “I had to ruin it” he mumbles before apologising again.

“I forgive you baby” you cradle his cheek in your hand “just don’t pull that again, its really not cute” you say, pouting.

“I won’t” he brushes his lips against yours “can I make it up to you?” his hand wanders to the slope of your waist.

“mmh-how?” you grin against his lips.

“however you want” mark says before closing the distance in between your lips.

Your hands rake through his hair, messing it up before he shifts to hover above you.

His lips attach to the side of your neck to suck a bruise into your skin, at which you moan out.

“like it when I mark you up baby?” he mumbles against your skin, you whine out a ‘yes’ before his head shoots up.

“no pun intended” he grins goofily.

“oh my god” you groan at his bad joke before pulling him down to meet your lips again by his cheeks.

He giggles into the kiss before sitting up to take off your shirt.

Marks grin fades when he sees your naked chest “fuck” he groans, cupping your breasts and pushing them together to the maximum before sucking each nipple in between his soft lips.

“mark” you moan when his tongue toys with one of the hardened nubs but he ignores your whines, kissing down your stomach as he hooks his fingers under your panties to pull them off as well.

“come here” you say gesturing for him to come up again.

“wanted to eat you out” he looks up at you with big eyes, pressing a kiss to your hipbone.

You smile, exhaling “you can but take off your shirt”

Mark grins before pulling his shirt over his head, his hands smooth over your thighs as he gently pushes them up and apart.

His eyes lock with yours when he leans down to leave wet kisses along your inner thigh.

"dont tease markie" you whine, threading your finger through his soft hair.

"mm-okay" he humms, tickling the sensitive skin as he lifts his right hand to your lips

Instinctively you open your mouth and let your boyfriend slide two of his digits inbetween your lips.

You keep eyecontact as you suck and coat his fingers with your saliva.

"you're so sexy" he grunts, releasing his fingers from your mouth with an obscene pop from your side.

Him bringing his fingers down to slide them through your folds has your keening.

"so wet" he muses before positioning himself to lick a flat stripe up your core.

Moans tumble from your lips the more he gets into it, sucking and slurping at your juices.

Two of his fingers curling inside of you, rubbing against your gspot.

"fuck" you groan at a particular harsh suck on your clit.

"m gonna cum" you whimper, pulling at his soft hair.

"cum baby" mark smacks his lips against you, the vibrations rolling through your abdomen.

"oh-my" your eyes roll back and toes curl against his shoulders as your orgasm rushes through your body.

"wanna ride you" you mumble against his lips after sitting up, he moans into the kiss at the thought of you perched above him.

He presses a kiss to your pubic bone after riding you through your high, sitting up again.

He sits up against the headboard as you help take off his boxers. Wrapping your hand around his cock and spreading the drops of precum over him while straddling him.

His fingers find your clit, rubbing tight circles over the bud as the other hand stabalizes your hip.

"baby-fuck" mark groans when you sink down on him. His hands squeezing at your breasts before he leans down to capture your nipple in between his lips.

Your eyes roll back as you lean back and start grinding your hips into his.

--

a/n: hi thank u sm for reading!! i thought id give u guys this bc i know alot of ppl are waiting for the 2nd part of galvanising green...but im still working on it and i have work tomorrow so it probably wont be up before monday! Im sorry🥺 but thank u so much on the amount of love on the first part, which was really just a spurt of the moment kind of idea lol thank u💓

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Life After Losing Him

Summary: Reader goes about their new daily life but soon runs into the best friend they had lost several months prior.

TW/CW: Platonic!Reader x Sam and Dean Winchester (mostly Dean tbh). Classmate bullying Reader. Should College Student Reader be a warning? Bc I feel like it should lmao. Lots of swearing. Dean does the silver blade test so a wound and blade are mentioned. I don’t think there’s anything else but lmk if I should add something.

Requested?: Yes, a lovely Anon said, “Hello love, your writing is really good and I love how active you are on your account it’s very impressive I could never 🥰 I would be so honored if you could do a platonic imagine for me??? I had in mind like Dean going to hell and coming back and being mad at Sam because he stopped hunting and maybe being mad at reader for moving on and going to college/not trying to help Sam? Idk if that makes any sense lol”

Word Count: 1,880

A/N: So, Dean isn’t as angry as I could’ve written him to be, I didn’t really include Sam much in this one, and it’s mostly Reader going about her day in her new life. If enough of you want it, I could write a second part where Dean and Reader get home and talk to Sam or whatever. I hope this is alright. I personally really like some bits of it but as a whole it feels off to me for some reason.

Your POV

    I grabbed the car keys off my side table before heading out my bedroom door with my backpack slung over my shoulder. I stopped in the kitchen to grab the lunch I had packed the previous evening and a thermos of coffee before heading out for another day of boring ass classes. When I enrolled at the local community college to major in folklore and mythology, I thought the classes would be more interesting and it would be a piece of cake but unfortunately, I got stuck with a boring professor who obviously didn’t even want to be teaching the class in the first place. I push the garage doors open before making my way over to the car. I open the door and drop down into the driver’s seat, set my thermos in the cupholder near my feet, and toss my backpack and lunchbox into the passenger seat. After closing the door, I sigh as I place my hands on the steering wheel, “Alright, Baby. Another day without him but I know you’ve still got my back.” I reach over and pat the dash before cranking the ignition and pulling out of the garage to head for school. The ride to school is quiet aside from the classic rock drifting softly through the speakers.  

    I manage to find a decent parking spot within walking distance of my class but have to mentally prepare myself before grabbing my coffee and backpack and stepping out of the car. I lock the doors, shut mine, and head towards class. On autopilot, I find the classroom that I need and take my usual seat near the front against a wall and turn my back to the wall as I always do. Aside from a few who like to get here early for the same reason I do, to get our favorite seats, the majority of the class hasn’t arrived yet so I pull out my notebook, pen, and coffee. I avoid all eye contact with the others in the room and label my notebook page for today’s lecture. For the most part, people around here seem to avoid me although I haven’t decided if it’s because I intimidate them or because they think I’m “one of those backwoods crazy people” or perhaps it’s both. Regardless, it suits me fine. I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to get a degree and do something useful with my new life. When he died, Sam and I both agreed to not try to find a way to bring him back and try to create a normal life. Every now and then, I secretly take a hunt but it’s usually nothing more than a basic salt and burn case. I did get a job at a local mechanic shop. They were practically begging me to take the job when I showed up for the interview in Baby.

    I’m pulled from my thoughts as a loud group of guys enter the room. I try to ignore them but as per usual their little pack leader wants to try to ruin my day. He calls out to me but thankfully before he can start something, the instructor enters and tells him to have a seat. I’ll have to give this instructor points for at least not putting up with any bullshit like that in his class. Anyway, the rest of the class joins shortly and takes their seats and, on the dot, as always, the instructor starts his lecture. A miserable hour and a half later I have several pages of notes, most of which are completely false from a hunter’s perspective, about topics I already know the truth about just so I know what the instructor will expect on the test. The instructor dismisses us so I pack away all my things and head back to the car to eat lunch before my next class.

    I’m about halfway back to the car, which is completely hidden by a huge, jacked up, 4x4 pickup truck, when the loud group of guys catches up to me and their leader calls out again, "Hey, nerd! Why don’t you stop for a second? I didn’t get a chance to take notes in class and I want to get pictures of yours.”

    I ignore him and keep my head down as I mumble under my breath, “yeah because you were sleeping,” and continue to the car. As I come around the back end of the pickup and approach the car, I slam into something, or rather someone, sturdy and nearly get knocked on my ass if it weren’t for the person catching me. Out of instinct I go to grab my dagger out of its sheath under my sleeve but the person grabs my hand, “Don’t pull that thing out here. It’s just me.” Hearing that voice causes pure shock mixed with a touch of suspicion to wash over me. I look up and into the face of my formerly, dearly departed best friend, Dean Winchester. However, before I can ask questions or even test to make sure it’s him, the small group of my classmates rounds the end of the pickup truck causing Dean to push me behind him in a protective way.  

    The pack leader grins mischievously, “Who’s this? You know this guy, nerd?”

    I roll my eyes but Dean speaks up for me, “I’m (Y/n)’s brother you little bitch. Now, fuck off and leave her alone.” In all honesty, Dean wasn’t biologically my brother but he and Sam have been the closest thing to having any siblings in general that I’ve ever gotten.  

    The pack leader looks around Dean at me, “This true?” I nod. He laughs, “Well, I don’t know which of you are driving this piece of junk but you should probably get with the times and stop driving this old rust bucket. Maybe you could upgrade to a nice truck like mine here,” he taunts patting the truck parked beside us.

    “Your attention seeking, overcompensating piece of shit on wheels could never handle the things this car has been through,” Dean argues, stepping forward. I grab his arm and tug in attempts to get him to back down, no luck.

    The guy scoffs, “Yeah right. I bet if your little friend behind you there hit a curb it’d tear this car to pieces.”

    Before Dean can get into a fist fight, I unlock the car door and shove him in before climbing in myself. Unfortunately, the asshole doesn’t get the hint that I’m leaving and leans back against Baby. I check the mirrors to make sure that I’m not going to run anyone over before driving forward out of my spot, mentally thanking whoever didn’t park there or had just pulled out of the spot in front of me, causing the pack leader to fall on his ass. I laugh to myself as I watch in the rearview mirror and then take off. I find a secluded spot on campus to park so that I can test Dean, figure out what the hell happened with him, and eat my lunch before my next class in four hours. When I put the car in park, and look over, he’s already rolled his sleeve up and has a silver blade ready for the test. He presses the blade into his arm right above another wound that looks fresh.  

    “I figure if Sam wanted all the tests done then you definitely will,” he grumbles before wrapping his arm having sufficiently proven he’s not allergic to the silver. I grab the bottle of holy water that I keep in my backpack and hand it to him. He takes a sip of it before handing it back to me. I nod in understanding before grabbing my lunchbox to eat.

    Once I’ve opened my sandwich, I take a bite, chew, and swallow before asking, “What happened this time?”

    “I don’t know, Sam’s working on that now,” he pauses, watching me, “I’d like to know what the hell happened to you.”

    “There it is again. You never call him Sam but that’s twice in just the past few minutes,” I muse, avoiding his question, “I guess you’re pissed at him because he stopped hunting?”

    “Yeah, and it seems to me like you did too so why don’t you answer my question?” he replies.

    I sigh, and toss my sandwich back onto the paper towel in my lap, “After we lost you, Sam and I agreed to not go looking for a way to bring you back and to start living a normal life. Granted, I always mentally thanked him for phrasing it that way because that meant if a way to bring you back fell into my lap then I could take the opportunity. Regardless, I got a job at a mechanic shop nearby and started classes here for a degree in folklore and mythology.”

    He scoffs and whips his head around to look out the windshield, “So you stopped hunting too. What the hell is wrong with you two?”

    “The two of us didn’t stop hunting. He did,” I snap back, “He doesn’t know it but I go on hunts every now and then when the apple pie life gets too boring.”

    “What about that asshole back there? Why do you let him bully you?” he asks, nodding his head toward where we had come from earlier.

    “He’s always trying to pick on me but I ignore him for the most part and keep my dagger in my sleeve just in case. The less attention I draw to myself the better.” I answer.

    “You’re really balancing all this? Like, you go to class and study for exams and shit but then every now and then you go hunting during the weekend?” he asks and I nod. “So, what about Sammy?”

    “He got a job, even been on a few dates but like I said, he stopped hunting, as far as I know anyway,” I respond. My phone dings before either of us could say anything else so I pick it up to check it and find that my instructor for my other class for today has sent out a message to cancel it for today. I toss the phone down onto the seat between us and stuff my sandwich and everything else I had pulled out back into my lunchbox before putting the car in drive and backing out of this spot.

    “What are you doing?” he questions, once again. I swear if he doesn’t knock it off with the questions, I’m going to roundhouse his ass.

    “Going home. My other class for today was cancelled,” I answer shortly.

    He’s quiet until we get to the campus entrance, “Can we- uh- Can we stop and get a burger on the way?” I nod as I laugh at him. This is probably going to be weird to adapt to but we’ll figure it out. The three of us always figure things out. Honestly, if this turns into something bigger, as it usually does, then wouldn’t mind quitting school. Turns out it’s not all it’s cracked up to be and definitely not for me. I just hope Dean won’t sulk too long about how Sam and I handled life after losing him.

Masterlist

Taglist: @emiijemii @akshi8278 @deandaydreaming @castiels-majestic-wings​ @desimarie12​

[bellamyblakru]

For the Bad Things Happen Bingo, can I request ‘passing out from the pain’ with hurt!Merlin/protective!Gwaine ???

YOU SURE CAN. i have like a list of prompts that came before this one that i should be doing,,, but i really wanted to try and write merwaine so badly isksksksk thank you for this opportunity. i hope i can do them justice with my first time🥺 (also lol i fangirled at your request bc i love your account sm asbskakak)

here it is on ao3 and under the cut! i hope you like it!!

Merlin watched Gwaine from his peripheral, thinking about everything and nothing at once. Gwaine has been with the knights for a few years now, right when Arthur took the crown, and Merlin hasn’t seen any indication that the man wanted to leave. But he will one day, won’t he? He has told Merlin many times how he doesn’t like staying in one place for too long, so Merlin never expected him to stay here as long as he has.

Merlin frowned at his thoughts on top of his mare, Honey, as Gwaine chatted with Percival and Leon. He was making them laugh, that smile of his shining through the darkening thoughts floating in Merlin’s mind. Merlin couldn’t help letting the soft smile slip through seeing how happy Gwaine made them—it seemed like Gwaine had that effect on everyone, Merlin mused.

Arthur was talking with Lance and Elyan, so Merlin let his mind start wandering. His magic was itching to escape—it has been since the morning they left on this hunt. Merlin knew Arthur just wanted to flee the restraints of the castle, and, honestly, Merlin had been feeling the same way for days.

Lately, Gwaine had been avoiding him. Well, Merlin thinks Gwaine had been avoiding him, at least, and Gwaine never does that, ever. He’d been thinking that he must have hurt Gwaine somehow, but every time he thought back to their last interaction, where nothing seemed wrong, he had no idea where the distance was coming from. He had been making Gwaine laugh at training, and after that day, he hadn't been able to get more than five words to him.

He missed Gwaine.

That thought made him frown once more at the offending trees they were passing. He missed Gwaine because Gwaine was his friend, nothing more. The more he tried to convince himself of that fact, the more unlikely it became. Frustrated, Merlin let some of his prickling magic flow out his fingertips to his mare, smoothing away her small aches.

Merlin patted her neck with a small smile as she sighed out in contentment—at least he could do one thing right lately. Magic, he thought with heart panging a bit, still wasn’t free and Arthur has been on the throne for about five years. It hurts, still after all this time, that something as pure as this would lead to his death—but he knew deep down that he wasn’t afraid of dying, not anymore. No, Merlin was terrified of how his friends would react after years of deceit and pain.

Just out of reflex, Merlin looked towards them. He found Gwaine staring at him, concern written on every feature, but the second their eyes met, his friend quickly started up another conversation with the others.

Merlin ignored the deepening pang in his chest and the nausea rising in his throat—this was nothing, he told himself, Gwaine didn’t mean anything by that.

The lie left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He was about to suggest they stop, wanting a distraction, when he heard the noise. His mare also stopped, feeling him stiffen. Merlin whipped his head to the side, his eyes narrowing.

“Merlin?” Gwaine quickly came to his side, but Merlin’s head didn’t move, “Do you hear something?”

Merlin wished he didn’t, just so he could use this as an excuse to talk to him, but he scowled lowly in response, “Bandits—ten, if I’m right, and many have magic.”

He knew Gwaine wouldn’t ask how he knew—he never did.

The man nodded, and Merlin’s heart lightened a bit when Gwaine didn’t say “to relax” or that “he was paranoid” like the rest of the knights would’ve done. It always felt good to not be second-guessed.

“How long do we have?”

Merlin tilted his head, “Two minutes, at most.”

Gwaine grunted in response, galloping towards Arthur. Merlin didn’t like the void he felt in his heart the second Gwaine left his side, but, shaking his head, he knew there were more important matters to think about. Merlin watched, amazed, as the knight got everyone’s attention so easily. The way he talked, with his rare seriousness expression, captivated everyone just as much as his joking did.

And although Merlin tried to convince himself that the knights would listen to him that way if he told them, he knew they would never.

Merlin was a simple country boy, wasn’t he? He had no credibility to them. He couldn’t truly blame them—it’s not like Merlin was an open book. He lied, but never completely. His cheerful, idiotic personality was a cover of sorts, but it was just another part of who he was. He wasn’t only the clumsy fool, but what could he do to show them otherwise? They knew Gwaine hid his problems in jokes and clever remarks, so what was so wrong with Merlin doing the same? Merlin didn’t know, and he didn’t think he wanted to.

Showing them the magic, the part that was so integral to who he was, would lead them to fear him, not respect him as one of their own. He didn’t want recognition, that’s never why he did what he does, but some form of understanding between them all is what he craved, what he wished. To not be second-guessed when he knew everyone’s lives were at stake and that he could save them...but that was only a fool’s dream.

He stopped with the rest of the knight when Gwaine convinced them that something was coming.

“Merlin,” Gwaine said from the top of the group, “go to the tree line, you won’t get hurt there.”

Merlin nodded with a carefully blank face—the battling emotions, of love and irritation, whirling inside of him.

They don’t know you can protect yourself, the logical part of his mind reminded him. After all these years, Merlin thought, I should be able to accept the coddling with a full heart. It showed that they do care about him, but why did it never feel that way? Merlin felt like an obstacle in their way—someone to protect, to always watch out for, a hindrance.

Merlin felt silly for the negative thoughts—none of this could be helped right now, so why dwell on these facts?

Aiming for the most advantageous spot, Merlin saw the first bandit pop out next to Eylan, who effectively took the man down. Percy patted him on the back as they moved around Arthur, flanking their king in preparation of the ambush.

As the air pulsed with anticipation, Merlin’s eyes strayed towards Gwaine, like always. The man’s face was grime, ready for battle, as he surveyed the surrounding area.

Merlin was distracted as a noise came from behind him, and he quickly spun around to face the intruder. The bandits with magic were walking smoothly towards him and Merlin panicked—do I attack? He changed his mind quickly, not thinking about it too much, as he turned around and ran towards his group to warn them.

Merlin guessed the obvious panic on his face spurred the knights to run towards him, but it was too late. One of the bandits threw a spell at him with a force that threw him to the side, hitting a nearby tree.

He vaguely heard the shouting of the knights as the attackers surrounded them, all eight of them chanting under their breaths as they did so, forcing the circle of the roundtable knights to still. Merlin groaned in pain, lifting himself.

Protect them. Protect them.

His only goal—and it has been since the beginning. In that moment, Merlin realized how unimportant it was that they never knew about the magic. The knights knew how much Merlin loved them, so everything else was secondary. Merlin, with or without his magic, would always put himself in danger if it meant his friends can see the next day.

Pulling himself up with the tree, he shook his head and listened to the droning monologue of the leader.

Same shit, as always.

Merlin couldn’t help but laugh—loudly. The monotonous speaker abruptly stopped talking as they all stared at Merlin laughing.

He couldn’t help it, honestly.

The leader narrowed his eyes at him, “What’s so funny, boy?”

Arthur and Gwaine shook their heads in looks that screamed “shut up, Merlin,” but Merlin held his stomach as the laughter subsided, the smile still on his face as he replied, “Nothing, I swear,” but then another chuckle escaped as the leader frowned at the answer.

When one of the lackeys stepped forwards with a sword pointing at him, Merlin sobered up, a smirk in place, as he lifted his hands in surrender, “Okay, okay. I’ll tell you! It’s just...every time this happens, one of you always explains why you are doing what you are doing. And every time, and I mean every time, it is revenge for what Uther did. Who, by the way, is long dead. Arthur, like always, gets blamed for his father’s actions. Are you guys just daft, or does everyone truly believe Arthur is actually Uther? It’s quite simple, really. Uther was a tyrant—I think we can all agree on that, but attacking his son? What’s the purpose? To show the King that magic can never be used for good? You know when all he sees is magic being used against him, of course he will hate it. What other choice would he have, hmm?”

Merlin’s smile dropped off as he shook his head, walking towards the stunned group, “Honestly! I get it, I truly do, but this will never solve anything. You are perpetuating the violent cycle, you understand?”

At Merlin’s question, the leader growled, “All I see is a stupid servant running his mouth.”

Merlin’s face lit up, “Interesting. Nothing took, then?”

He heard Gwaine sigh, “Merls?”

Merlin looked over at the knight, who had a small smile on his face, “Yes, Sir Knight?”

Gwaine laughed a bit, “You might be slightly more dramatic than me, and that’s impressive, to say the least. You think your lovely wit could save us?”

Merlin smiled at the knight, his heart feeling more full than it has all week, and winked, “Well, it was worth the shot?”

And as they just continued smiling at each other, Merlin saw the leader blink and shake his head, muttering something to one of his followers with nothing but malice on his face.

Merlin watched, almost in slow motion, as the next spell was directed at Gwaine.

That wasn’t the plan.

Merlin yelled, “No!” as he sprinted and leapt in front of the knight as the spell hit home. Merlin gasped in pain, staring in shock at the sizzling hole in his abdomen, and he heard the leader laugh.

Merlin's focus narrowed solely on the leader, everything else drowning out as that malicious laugh continued. The bandits all started chanting once more, circling the group, and when he started hearing the grunts of pain from his friends, Merlin’s mind, in a moment of pure clarity, repeated: protect them.

So, with a hole in his stomach, Merlin straightened up and locked eyes with the people hurting his friends.

“This stops. Now.”

And before they could get another word in, Merlin’s eyes burned the brightest molten gold. The wind whipped, the sky darkened, and the ground shaking with Merlin being the center of it all. The bandits backed up hastily, staring at Merlin like a newly found god, and Merlin blinked at the action—their actions full of desperate fear, and that wasn’t right. He never wanted to be feared.

Merlin let the power steep into his voice, “Leave now and never hurt anyone ever again. Do you understand?”

They all shook their heads, bowing at the waist for him, and right before they ran with their tails between their legs Merlin could swear he could hear their whispers of Emrys.

The minute they were out of sight, Merlin sagged. His entire body felt like it was on fire, his brain had pulsating pain that felt like lightning behind his eyes. And when his strength left, he felt two people’s arms wrap around him.

Looking up with all his effort, Merlin saw Lance and Gwaine on either side of him, the latter with a sword up at the abnormally silent group.

The world was blurring when Merlin heard Gwaine snarl at the king, “You take one wrong step and I will run you through.” And even in his state of delirium, Merlin knew Gwaine meant it.

“Gwaine,” Merlin whispered, the pain lacing through his body in waves, “it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” Gwaine bit back still facing Arthur and the knights with his sword raised high.

Merlin smiled sadly, staring at his knight, “Gwaine?”

That got the man’s attention, the anger draining out of him the minute their eyes met, and Merlin continued quietly, “Thank you.” The “thank you for not hating me for having magic, thank you for protecting me, thank you for being here” went unsaid, but not unheard.

Merlin saw Gwaine’s eyes water, “You’re going to be fine, Merls, you’ve been through worse, you know? This is nothing.”

Merlin let out a wet laugh, “Yeah, maybe.”

Gwaine was speaking again, but Merlin couldn’t hear him anymore. The pain became too much then, so Merlin let the black spots in his vision take over, and he welcomed oblivion with a smile.

—————

The next few times Merlin woke up, he was against someone’s front with a horse galloping at full speed underneath him. He would groan, but quickly succumb to the pain again.

The first time he could actually open his eyes completely, he was staring at a very familiar ceiling. Merlin gasped as he tried to move, his hand flying to his stomach.

“Merlin! Don’t move, my boy,” Gaius’s worried face came into view, “You need some rest, but you’re going to be just fine.”

Merlin figured as much when he took the hit, knowing his magic wouldn’t let him die that easily.

He blanched, remembering what happened, “Gaius?” he rasped out, his voice felt scratchy like he had been screaming for hours, “Is everyone…?”

Gaius frowned, but Gwaine, who Merlin just noticed was sitting right next to him, answered for him with nothing cheerful on his face, “Everyone is fine, thanks to you.”

Merlin sighed in relief, looking back up to the ceiling, and he heard Gaius pat Gwaine as he moved out the door leaving the two of them alone.

They sat in a comfortable silence until Merlin asked, his voice small, “Gwaine, what happened?”

Gwaine huffed out a breath, out of anger or pain, Merlin didn’t know, as Gwaine moved to sit next to him on the cot. Merlin grunted a little as he moved to make room for him, and Gwaine frowned at the noise.

“I’m fine, I promise.”

Gwaine looked at him in clear disbelief, “I’m sure.”

Merlin sighed, looking up at the knight, “Tell me?”

Gwaine nodded in defeat, “I threatened princess, as you know,” Merlin nodded, a frown forming, “I was going to throw you over my shoulder and run for it.”

Merlin blinked, “That was your plan? Even when you’re mad at me, you were still going to take me with you?”

Gwaine’s eyes widened, “I’m not mad at you! What made you think that?”

Merlin looked to the side, “You’ve been avoiding me, Gwaine, I know it.”

Gwaine flinched, “Oh. That.”

After the moment of heavy silence, with Merlin’s heart feeling like it was breaking, he moved on, “Whatever, you obviously didn’t need to use that plan since I’m home. What happened?”

Gwaine smiled a bit here, “Well, Sir Lancelot and I stood our ground. Lance had a lot to say about you for a man of such a few words. While I lifted you up, and took you away from the group, Lance told them everything. Arthur,” Gwaine shook his head, “he looked betrayed and hurt at first, but after a day of Lance’s tales of you, and mentioning how you literally just saved us once again without bloodshed, Arthur finally came to his senses—especially when I kept threatening him.”

Merlin started crying, unwillingly, blindly grabbing for Gwaine’s hand, “So, what now? Everyone knows and I’m not dead? Am I banished? Hated? Feared?”

Gwaine’s face was uncharacteristically soft as he wiped the tears from Merlin’s face with his other hand, “Now...now, we make history and show these assholes what they’ve been missing. Merlin,” he tightened his grip on his hand, “I always knew something was different about you. And I never, ever, feared you for a moment—even as you made those bandits shit themselves.” Gwaine let out a small laugh at that, the soft smile returning to his face, “I don’t know how many times I need to say this until it gets through that stubborn head of yours: I came to Camelot for you and you alone. No princess or wealth keeps me here, you do.” Gwaine stilled his hand on Merlin’s face, “And if I needed to, I wouldn’t have hesitated to grab you and run—I’ve always been prepared for that, actually.”

Merlin kept crying, “Then why?” Why have you been distancing yourself? Why did you make me think you hated me? Why are you so loyal to me?

Gwaine's face fell at Merlin’s hoarse and quiet question, “I’m not good enough for you. I knew how I felt, and I knew you deserved better than me. I haven’t stayed in one place this long before, and I thought if you knew that you were the only person keeping me here that I would scare you off before we even had a chance.”

Merlin stared at his knight, understanding and sadness flowing through him, “Gwaine,” he choked out, “you’re an idiot.”

Gwaine gaped, undignified, “Hey! Bold words for a man who is utterly vulnerable at this moment.”

Merlin laughed lightly, “An idiot,” he continued, “who I love.”

Gwaine’s eyes shone brightly, “Love,” the disbelief in his voice hurting Merlin’s heart, “You love me? Merls, are you sure?”

Merlin laughed again at the absurdity of the wild man in front of him, “Yes, Gwaine, I am sure. Only if you wouldn’t mind facing the uncertainty of my future—“

Merlin was cut off with a loud, surprise gasp when Gwaine threw himself on top of him for a hug, then grabbing his face, and placing a rather soft kiss to his lips.

“Merlin. I would rather be at your side, with the threat of the world crushing us, than anywhere else. You, my magically beautiful friend, will never feel alone again in this life. I give you my sword, my heart, and everything I am—if you will have me.”

Merlin nodded, his eyes watering once more, and smiled into the next kiss with his knight.

Merlin felt the burden of destiny in his soul lift in his embrace with Gwaine—and he knew, deep in his heart and soul, that with Gwaine at his side, they could face any uncertainty coming their way.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

tapestry 👑 X

Warnings: eventual dark elements (tags to be added as fic continues)

This is dark!(king)Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: King Steven had a wandering eye but you never thought it would fall upon you.

This Chapter: The court celebrates the last hunt.

Note: Okay, so I called in today because of my anxiety at the suggestion of my boytoy and he told me to sleep in a bit. He’s not a doctor, but he’s got a PhD (pretty huge dick) so I have to listen. But I got this chapter done last night so y’all still get your fix, lol.

Also, I have to thank you guys, I really can’t thank you enough. I am in love with this fic and truly in your discussion of it bc yall seem as invested as I am and I just love all the possibilities and how these characters are turning out and it’s all been so much fun. So please, enjoy and remember that I love you (but I will not leave my wife for you, sorry).

(also open to new moodboards for the fic or even playlists for inspo if anyone’s interested. memes always welcome.)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋 You guys rock!

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply! Love ya!

You were never one to stand out among a crowd. Were it not for the sling around your shoulder, that would still be true. You suspected, without the king's interest, that would be even more true. But despite your simply cut gown, you could sense the eyes as you entered the hall.

The trestles were set with scarlet cloth and silver plates. You followed the other unwed ladies to the table opposite the lower lords. The king would sit at the high table with several favoured lords and ladies and those of the council not among them would sit along the next. 

You were surprised to spot your father along that group of men, though he did not wear the pin that the other counselors wore. He nodded at you from across the room as he took his seat. You were stopped before you could go behind the trestle by a servant in royal colours. The other ladies glanced over but quickly hid their curiosity.

“My lady,” The servant said. “You are to take the place of honour at the high table.”

“Pardon?” You stepped aside to let Joan pass behind you. 

“The king has declared you the Maiden of the Forest. You must take your proper seat,” The servant insisted. “If you would follow me, my lady.”

“Um,” You glanced to the ladies as they sat along the bench then to the table where your father sat. His eyes narrowed at you as he listened to Lord Callum. “Certainly. As you will.”

You waited for the servant to lead you. You climbed the short steps up to the dais that held the king’s table. Diana and Mable sat with their husbands, Anthony and Samuel, and Lord Barnes stood next to an empty chair to the right of the king’s. The royal couple themselves were upon a short platform that held them another half foot above their guests. 

The servant gestured towards Barnes. “Just down there, lady.” He explained. “With Lord Barnes.”

“Thank you,” You nodded to the man and he quickly departed for his other chores.

As you walked along the table, behind chairs both occupied and not, you stared at the king’s chair. The thought of spending the feast next to him filled you with dread. A blur of movement caught your eye and you found Lord Barnes awaiting you with a smile as you drew nearer.

“My lady,” He took your hand and bowed to kiss your hand dramatically. “The venerable Maiden of the Forest.”

“You mock me,” You accused. “Though I should wonder how a man in such a smock could find the gull to do so.”

“Oh but any silk not dull as stone would seem gauche next to your attire, my lady,” He quipped. “As a second daughter, I am certain you expected a convent but you’ve escaped the habit of yet.”

“I thought you the king’s man, not his jester,” You returned. He politely shifted the chair back for you to sit. “Though perhaps a fool’s cap would suit you better.”

“As much as a bolder shade would bring out your complexion, my lady,” He remarked as you sat. “Do you truly seek to deter the king or is this truly what you consider fashionable?”

“This is what an earl’s daughter can afford,” You said sharply. 

“If only half this court was as self-aware as you, my lady,” He sat beside you, “Perhaps then it would not be so turbulent.”

“Oh, if only,” You agreed.

“The sling, however, does brighten the look,” He added. “How does your shoulder fair?”

“Tender but not so insufferable as my company.”

You looked across the room. Rose was not among the ladies. You hadn’t seen her since before the hunt and heard even less of her. ‘I will see that she is dealt with’, those were the words the king had spoke. The promise he’d made to you though you could not untangle his meaning.

“Oh my lady, I do remember the scene in your chambers,” He intoned. “I am not the worst you must suffer.”

He grinned as you looked to him. Your retort was curtailed by the sound of a horn. You stood at the announcement of the king’s arrival and all bowed as he entered. He wore a rich green brocade slitted with gold silk. The queen’s dress was a similar shade though she did not bear the same poise. Her sharp eyes scanned the hall and fell on you. She pushed her shoulders back and averted her gaze with detest.

Barnes shifted on his feet and peeked over at you out of the corner of his eye. You raised your brows and shook your head. He was not so unconcerned as he pretended to be. The king and queen made their entrance to the blaring of the horn and ascended the dais as their subjects waited and watched.

You kept your head forward as they passed behind you and the queen’s skirts brushed against the legs of your chair. “Snake.” She snarled under her breath for you to hear. You struggled not to flinch at the word and listened as her heels clicked up the step to her perch.

“You handle it better than most.” Barnes whispered as the royal couple sat and their guests followed suit.

“What else can I do but bite my tongue and keep my eyes forward?” You returned as he reached for the decanter and filled his goblet. 

“Wine?” He offered but did not await your answer before he poured it in your cup. “And let me say, I’ve seen a dozen or so women in your position and they often resort to boasting, arrogance even.”

“In my position? And you think--”

“Oh, I know of your modesty,” He assured you as he sipped and servants appeared with platters and began to set them out between silver plates. “Though such restraint is almost unknown at this court. I suspect that’s why the king has remained so persistent.”

You drank from your cup and glanced over at the king. You worried he would overhear. He was entirely distracted by Eleanor’s whispers though barely entertained. He scowled as his eyes swept the ceiling and he huffed in response.

“He has persisted before, has he not?” You kept your voice low.

“A month, maybe two, and only after he obtained his prize.” He paused as a platter was set between you. “You only expedited Rose’s downfall but you didn’t cause it.”

“Is that your expectation? A month, maybe two for me?” You wondered. “It is not that I do not expect the same treatment, only that I’d hope to avoid the same end.”

“I don’t know what to expect,” He shrugged as he speared a slice of venison from the platter. “For so long as I’ve known the king, I’ve not quite seen him as I did in your chamber.”

“Surely he must’ve promised the same to other ladies.” You took a smaller piece and scooped some roasted veggies upon your plate.

“Jewels and fancy baubles only,” He said. “Eleanor is a princess herself, even without the marriage. What he intends is not so easily done as said.”

“And you think he truly means to do it?” You hovered your fork above your plate as you stared at him. Despite the edge of his tongue, he proved to be the most honest at court.

“I think he means to have you,” He cut into his venison, “And there is little that can stop him once he has his mind set.”

You looked to your plate and pushed a piece of potato around the silver. Your stomach knotted as you pondered cutting your meat with one hand.

“My lady,” A whisper distracted you. You looked over as the king leaned down. “I should ask after your health.”

“I am well,” You assured him. “My arm does not bother me so much but I must avoid straining it further.”

“Well enough to dance?” He ventured as his eyes lit up. “Being the Maiden of the Forest, it would be expected you take up the boards.”

“A dance.” You assured him, “But not many more. I fear the sling would make me far more ungainly than I already am.”

“A dance, a smile, I relish in all that you allow me, my lady,” His eyes flicked down for just a moment. “And what of the gifts I have given you?”

Your eyes rounded for a moment before you recalled the opal necklace still hidden in your trunk. “Oh, your highness, how forgetful I am. It has all been so hectic I’ve not even the thought to wear it, though it is the finest piece I’ve ever owned.”

“I should like that you would,” He reproached. “As a marker of my love for you.”

You looked down and nodded. “I will have to remind myself,” You said quietly. “I do forget myself so often.”

“Oh, but lady, do not punish yourself,” He said softly. “For I bear you no anger, I only wish to see you well.”

“And I do thank you for your concern,” You looked up at him. “It means very much.”

“I think of nothing else,” He assured you, “No one else.”

He bowed his head and sat up. The queen’s eyes glared across the room as she ignored her husband’s conversation with you. You sat back and took another drink. Barnes was smiling as he swallowed his mouthful.

“While I admire your grace, I know you are rather adept at rancor. Perhaps you would be best to prove the same to him.” He mused. “Oh, it might solve many problems should you speak with more than a lamb’s tongue.”

“I am honest--”

“Oh but you coat it in honey,” He interjected. “Our king is wise. Should you bite him once, he might just leave you alone.”

“And should he choose to swat me down instead?”

“Despite what you’ve known of him, he is not entirely irrational,” He said coolly. “Perhaps he might realize his wife is not so vile after all.”

“Perhaps,” You mulled as you prodded a slice of carrot, “Or perhaps it is too late for even that.”

👑

The night wore on. Your shoulder ached; from the tension, from the stiff chair, from your general discomfort. The king would lean down to speak to you every now and then and as he did, all in the hall would notice. Though they tried to be subtle, you did not miss their intrusive eyes.

Lord Barnes did not hide his awareness either. At times, he'd lean back and speak to the king around you. The queen's malice radiated from the other side of the king but she would not acknowledge her husband's obvious disregard.

When the meal came to an end, the horn sounded once more and the platters were cleared. Several courses had left guests joyous and half-drunk.

The king stood before the band could begin to pluck. He held a hand up as he waited for silence. His subjects hushed their chatter and looked to him. He smiled back, a beacon of kingly grace.

"And so we close another season. This marks the beginning of winter and the end of our most bountiful season." His voice carried easily across the hall. "As is tradition we must crown our Maiden of the Forest."

You gulped and looked to Barnes. He smirked at the king's words and scoffed. He leaned back and watched nonchalantly as Steven continued. A servant appeared at the wave of his hand.

"If you would, my lady," He nodded to you as he took a circlet of vines and petals from the servant.

You rose stiffly. He offered his free hand and you took it as he guided you up beside him. The queen kept her head high and you peered out across the hall. Your father was turned around in his chair watching proudly. The servant helped remove your cap.

"In the name of the hunt, I name you our Maiden of the Forest." The king announced as he placed the crown of flowers upon your head. "May you reign this night with grace and joy."

"Thank you, your highness, " Your voice was brittle as your head swayed.

"And to close the old season and open the new, let us dance." He declared. "Maiden, would you grant me your first dance?"

You nodded. At first, your throat was too tight to speak. The queen's hand was balled in a fist upon the table. "Yes, your highness," You managed, "If you can forgive my shortfalls, it is yours."

"Then let us dance!" He boomed.

For a moment, no one moved and then all at once, the band picked up and the nobles began to rise from the tables. They filtered out to the floor as the king led you behind the chairs and from the dais. Barnes did not rise and poured himself another cup.

The king pressed his palm to yours as you came to face each other. You felt awkward and unbalanced with your other arm in its sling. As he moved his feet, you shuffled around him. You hadn't thought your dancing could get worse.

"My lady, I am glad to see you well." He cooed. "I admit I was restless with worry for you."

"Your highness." You said curtly and looked around at the other dancers.

He was silent for a moment as you followed the music.

"Have I wronged you, my lady?" He asked.

"Have you? Oh, how can you not see what you do to me? This court reviles me due to your humiliation of the queen. Your declarations that would allude to adultery."

"My lady, I only mean to honour you and your virtue--"

"What you mean and what you have done are not the same. You would crown me with your wife at your side. You would overlook her for me. You would sully my virtue as you claim to protect it." You glanced over at Barnes as he remained at the table. He looked into his cup as he sloshed it around. "And I have treated you with nothing by reverence and yet you persist."

"I have promised you anon that the woman who claims herself as my wife is none such." He hissed. "But I must gather my evidence before I can make it known. Before I can right what is wrong."

"You promise me what you cannot give. You would rob me of my future for your present desire. Your highness, I cannot hold my tongue further and tolerate you as you are so blatant in your disregard." You pulled away from him. A little bite to warn him; to scare him away. "Your majesty I must return to my former chambers and return to you your gift accepted only under duress for I cannot demean myself for you any longer. Not so long as you sit in sin."

He reeled as if you had struck him. You stepped away as he stared at you, his nostrils flared as his eyes searched you. He lingered between fury and despair.

"My lady, you do mistreat me."

"The truth is not always painless, your highness," You said sternly. "And I do not wish to remain the victim of rumour." You lowered your hand. "It cannot be… good night, your highness. "

You bowed and spun on your heel so quickly you nearly slipped. You lifted your skirts to scurry between the bodies. Your flesh was afire as you fled into the corridor.

You took a breath and continued along the stone floor. You heard the door and looked back to the shadow that followed you. The king found you through the flicker of lanterns and turned to trail you. You rounded the corner as you picked up your feet. 

"My lady," He called after you as his boots echoed on the stone. "Please, do not run from me."

You moved as quickly as you could, the motion jolted your shoulder painfully. He was close as you reached the next corner and he caught your hand before you could evade him. He drew you to face him as he looked down at you.

"Why do you spurn me? Why do you accuse me of spite when all I've shown you is kindness?" He pleaded. His grip slid to your wrist and he squeezed. "Why do you delay me if you do not yearn for what I promise you?"

"You're hurting me," You gasped as his hold grew firmer. "Your highness."

"I give and I give and I give," He stepped closer until you were against the wall. "And you withhold yourself from me."

"You scare me," You breathed.  

"I promise you a union, a crown, and all you could desire and yet you reprimand me and let me suffer so," He was against you. He pressed his body to yours and you felt a hardness beneath his belt.

"And I have not pushed you. I have not violated you. I have waited." He ground his pelvis into you as he crushed your injured arm. "I have not taken you as I have dreamt. I have not come into your chambers as you sleep and taken what I desire." 

He let go of your wrist and grabbed your chin. He forced you to look at him. "Because, my lady, I have decided that I will have you. Not just as my mistress, but as my wife, my queen. Because I don't just want that treasure you hide beneath those skirts," He bent so that his breath was upon your face."I want everything you have because you would deny me of the one thing I asked. "

You gaped up at him and trembled. You winced as his weight pushed on your sore shoulder. He leaned in until his nose touched yours.

"And though, at this moment, I could gather your skirts and take you against this wall, I will not," He pushed his hips harder against you. "Because when I do take you, I will be certain that you shall never elude me again." 

He pressed his lips to yours as he held your jaw in place. You struggled as he seemed like to devour you. You were trapped against the stone; terrified and helpless. He pulled away slowly and rubbed along your cheek with his thumb. 

"My lady, remember my benevolence for my restraint frays." He growled. "Though in the end, my desire will not."

[antiadvil]

i AIM 2 b w/ u

summary: Dan’s life is a little bit of a mess. He met his only friend through a chat website, and Dan doesn’t even know what he looks like. The only person he’s ever come out to is said friend. He’s wasting his gap year away.

But hey, at least there’s that cute boy he met at London Pride.

rating: PG13

wc: 4k

notes: for the @phandomreversebang! lovely art created by @anironsidh and betaing provided by @quackitity (also stay tuned for @judearaya‘s version which i betaed and is very good)

read on ao3 or under the cut

Dan glanced at the time. He had a few minutes to kill before he had to catch his train to London Pride, he decided, so he logged into his laptop and opened AIM.

His heart skipped a beat. His best (and only, if he was being honest) friend was online. He sent him a message.

danisnotonfire: hey

amazingphil: hi!!!

He and Amazingphil had met in a chat room about five months ago. They bonded a bit over their sexualities, and then Dan sent him a PM about Muse, and then here they were, still messaging almost every day since.

amazingphil: what r u doing?

danisnotonfire: im never doing anything

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: yes u r >.<

amazingphil: guess what im doing

danisnotonfire: what

amazingphil: guess >:(

danisnotonfire: no >:)

amazingphil: pls

danisnotonfire: hmm

danisnotonfire: maybe

amazingphil: hurry up

danisnotonfire: wait im thinking of a good one

danisnotonfire: ok

danisnotonfire: ur running away from the police bc u stole the crown jewels

amazingphil: no u spork

amazingphil: im picking out an outfit

danisnotonfire: an outfit? :0

danisnotonfire: u wear clothes?

amazingphil: i hate u

amazingphil: i have Plans today

Dan glanced at the clock. He had to leave soon for his own plans, but he still felt a tiny bit jealous.

danisnotonfire: you have Plans?

amazingphil: yes

amazingphil: what r u doing?

Dan checked the time again. He frowned. He had to leave now if he wanted to make his train.

danisnotonfire: getting ready to take a train

danisnotonfire: g2g actually sry

danisnotonfire: c u?

He didn’t wait to see amazingphil’s response before he closed his laptop and bolted for the door.

The train ride to London was nerve wracking but uneventful. Dan had never travelled so far on his own before, and his mother’s warnings rang in his head. As tempted as he was to pull out his phone and pretend to be busy, he kept himself alert, his phone safely stowed in his pocket and his backpack clutched in his lap.

His mother didn’t know where he was going. No one knew where he was going. It was a little bit scary, but also exhilarating. He could do anything; he could be anyone, as long as he was on the 8pm train home.

When his train pulled into the station, it was easy to follow the crowd of people in rainbow apparel to the parade site. Dan’s train had arrived a tiny bit late, and it looked like the parade had already started.

The street was crowded, but Dan wriggled and elbowed his way to the front of the crowd, where he had a decent view of his first ever Pride parade. He found himself sandwiched between two girls holding hands and a dark haired boy who looked about Dan’s age.

“Hey,” Dan found himself shouting to the boy next to him.

The boy glanced over, flicking dark hair out of his eyes. “Hey,” he shouted back. “What brings you here?”

“I’m gay,” Dan shouted. He laughed. It was so exhilarating to say out loud that he said it again. “I’m gay!”

The boy laughed. “Me too,” he said. “What a coincidence.”

“What’s your name?” Dan asked.

“Phil,” the boy replied. “You?”

“Dan,” he said back.

“Well, Dan, is this your first pride?”

Dan nodded. “What about you?”

Phil shook his head. “This is my third.”

“Wow,” Dan said.

Phil laughed. “It’s not that many. I’m sure there are some people here who have been to every single one.” He nodded toward a group of older men riding on a passing float.

Dan tried to wrap his mind around the fact that there had been fewer than forty London Prides. That everything around him was new and fragile and still in its infancy. “That’s crazy,” he said. “That that’s even possible, I mean.”

Phil nodded emphatically. “I know, right? If I had been born just fifty years earlier…” He shuddered.

“It’s not like it’s that great to be gay right now either,” Dan admitted.

“No,” Phil admitted. He looked down.

They were silent for a few moments.

“Sorry,” Dan said, clearing his throat. “I kinda killed the mood there, didn’t I?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Phil said. He shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with the plastic rainbow flag in his hands. “Does your family know you’re here?” he added softly.

Dan shook his head, eyes welling with tears.

“I’m so sorry,” Phil said in a rush, “That was such a personal question, I don’t know why I-”

“It’s okay,” Dan said softly.

Phil hovered awkwardly just at the edge of Dan’s personal space. “Um, do you want a hug or-”

“Yes,” Dan said, immediately crushing himself into Phil’s arms and squeezing his eyes shut.

He resolutely ignored the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“Shh,” Phil said, holding him tighter. “It’s going to be okay.”

Dan didn’t know why he believed everything this beautiful stranger said, but he did.

It was going to be okay. Dan let that message sink into his body, settle in his stomach, until his limbs felt less shaky and his footing more solid. He pulled away from Phil, wiping his eyes.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I don’t know what that was.”

“It’s okay,” Phil said. “It’s your first Pride; it’s overwhelming. Are you from nearby?”

“I’m from near Reading,” Dan said.

Phil whistled. “That’s pretty far.”

Dan shrugged. “No one will recognize me here.”

Phil nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Dan shrugged again. “It’s okay.”

“Well, I hope you have a good time. It’s a lot of fun.”

Dan looked around at everyone wearing various different pride flags, all of the floats covered in rainbow. “I think I will.”

Dan and Phil stayed together for the rest of the parade, bumping shoulders and pointing out people with particularly funny signs. When the last float passed, though, Dan realized he didn’t want to break apart.

He turned to Phil to say so, but before he could open his mouth, Phil interrupted him, looking nervous. “Actually, um, if you don’t have anywhere to be yet, I thought we could hang out for a bit? Get coffee or something?”

Dan had left a few hours after Pride for exploring London, maybe even looking at some colleges so what he told his mum wasn’t a complete lie, but he’d rather spend them with Phil. “I’d love coffee,” he said.

Phil brightened. “There’s a Starbucks really close by. If you like Starbucks?”

“I love Starbucks,” Dan said. He loved anywhere Phil wanted to drink coffee together.

“Perfect,” Phil said, already walking, presumably towards the Starbucks. “My treat.”

“Oh, you don’t have to-” Dan scrambled to keep up.

“Please,” Phil said, smiling. “It’s the least I can do.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “In exchange for what?”

“You travelled all the way to London to see me,” Phil smiled.

Dan rolled his eyes even harder. “It wasn’t to see you, dummy-”

Phil gasped in mock betrayal. “It wasn’t?”

“No,” Dan said, “It was to learn and grow as a person, to find myself, to-”

“Shut up,” Phil said, giggling. “Just let me buy you coffee.”

“Fine,” Dan said, pouting.

“Perfect,” Phil said, leading Dan into a Starbucks, “Now come on.”

Dan’s coffee was delicious, but he let it cool in his hands as their conversation went on. He and Phil had a lot in common, and their conversation flowed easily. They both followed a lot of the same online creators, they had similar taste in music, and they had similar senses of humor. They even had nearly matching hairstyles, Phil pointed out with a laugh.

“It’s a cool hairstyle,” Dan said defensively. Phil didn’t need to know that the only way Dan could make it look even slightly good was by straightening it every morning.

“Of course it is,” Phil said. “It’s mine.”

Dan rolled his eyes and lightly shoved Phil.

When Dan finally finished his coffee, he looked at it regretfully. “I guess I should get going.”

Phil hesitated. “I don’t know if you want to go back to my apartment or anything?”

Dan nodded, then looked at his watch. It was getting dark out. “Fuck. I can’t. My train.”

Phil’s shoulders slumped slightly. “Oh. Well, can I walk you to your train at least?”

Dan smiled. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

It was lucky that Phil had offered to walk him, honestly, because Dan was completely turned around. London was one of the most confusing cities he’d ever been in, but Phil seemed to know his way around it like the back of his hand.

“Here you go,” he said, pointing out the train station Dan had arrived at earlier in the day. He shoved his hands in his pockets, staring at Dan with an intensity that made him blush. “I don’t want to go,” he admitted.

Phil drew closer, and Dan glanced around nervously. There were a few people around. No one seemed to be paying much attention, but that could change.

Fuck it, Dan decided. It was Pride. If there was ever a day for kissing cute boys in public, it was today. As Phil leaned in closer, Dan closed the gap and pressed their lips together.

It was sweet, shorter than Dan would have liked, but as Phil pulled away Dan noticed a man standing at the other end of the street, glaring. Dan could see Phil looking too.

“How about I just stick with you until your train comes?” Phil said lightly, but Dan could see his eyes still on the man on the other end of the street, who made eye contact for another second before finally turning away.

Dan felt the tension in his shoulders unwind just the slightest bit. “That’d be great,” he said.

Phil hovered protectively by Dan’s side for the next few minutes until his train came. Dan wouldn’t be much good in a fight, and he didn’t get the sense that Phil would be either, but his presence was reassuring. When it was time to say goodbye, Phil opted for a hug.

Dan sank into his arms gratefully. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Of course,” Phil whispered back.

“Stay safe,” Dan whispered.

“I will,” Phil promised, pulling back. “See you?”

“Yeah,” Dan said. “I hope so.”

Barely a minute after Dan boarded his train, his phone buzzed.

phil: did u make it?

Dan smiled.

dan: yes

dan: ty 4 coffee btw, it was good

phil: :)

phil: b safe

dan: u 2

He waited a bit with his phone out, wondering if Phil would say anything more, but he didn’t, so Dan closed his phone and put it away. He let his head fall back against his seat and turned to look out the window, watching London pass by until it was left firmly behind him.

***

The first thing Dan did when he got back home was check AIM. Almost as soon as he logged in, he got a message.

amazingphil: ur back!

amazingphil: where were u :0

Dan hesitated. He didn’t know why he felt like lying.

danisnotonfire: i have a life that isnt online u kno

amazingphil: D:

amazingphil: betrayal

Dan didn’t talk much about his offline life with Amazingphil. He knew the basics: Dan was gay, no one knew, everyone still managed to give him shit for it somehow. But he didn’t know where Dan lived, his little brother’s name, or that he had traveled to London today for Pride.

And if he said something about Pride, then he’d be asked how it went. And then he’d have to talk about Phil. And he didn’t want to talk about Phil for some reason.

danisnotonfire: u have a life offline too

danisnotonfire: remember u said u had plans 2day?

amazingphil: :0

amazingphil: i guess i did

danisnotonfire: howd they go?

amazingphil: good :3

danisnotonfire: is that all ur gonna say

amazingphil: yes :P

amazingphil: i need 2 have mystery or ull lose interest

danisnotonfire: :0

danisnotonfire: i would never

amazingphil: good

danisnotonfire: now tell me

amazingphil: no

danisnotonfire: ಠ_ಠ

amazingphil: :D

amazingphil: it wasnt really interesting anyway lolol

amazingphil: i dont wanna bore u

danisnotonfire: impossible

danisnotonfire: u could never bore me D:

amazingphil: i could

amazingphil: law

amazingphil: textbooks

amazingphil: school

amazingphil: math

amazingphil: r u asleep yet

danisnotonfire: (-_-)zzz

amazingphil: c? told u

danisnotonfire: ok ok

danisnotonfire: u win

Dan still wanted to know what Amazingphil had been up to, but Amazingphil didn’t seem like he wanted to tell, so Dan decided to let it drop. He started to type up a question about whether or not Amazingphil had seen a video uploaded by a YouTuber they both followed, but he was interrupted.

amazingphil: im kinda tired actually

amazingphil: i think im going to bed

Dan’s smile dropped. He had been looking forward to talking to Amazingphil.

danisnotonfire: :(

danisnotonfire: good night!

amazingphil: good night!

He went offline. Dan stayed online for a bit longer, but no one else was really there, and none of the chat rooms he normally joined were interesting that night. Eventually, he gave up. He went to bed early too.

***

He woke up the next morning to a string of texts from Phil. He smiled, grabbing his phone and rolling over to read through them.

phil: hey i have some free time this wknd

phil: i could visit maybe?

phil: if ur free 2

Dan smiled harder.

dan: im free :]

dan: idk why u want 2 visit tho theres nothing here

phil: theres u

Dan had to put his phone down for a second to make sure his face did not actually combust from how hot it was getting.

dan: thatd be nice :3 i miss u

phil: lol, we saw each other yesterday

phil: (i miss u 2 :3)

dan: call me? :3

Dan’s phone started ringing immediately. He picked up. “Why would you want to visit Wokingham?” he asked. “London is way cooler.”

“But you’re not in London,” Phil said.

“I can be,” Dan said, his mind already racing to find excuses for visiting again so soon. “I could say-”

“Dan,” Phil cut him off with a laugh. “I want to visit you. Calm down.”

Dan hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Dan,” Phil said. “Why? Are you?”

Dan hesitated. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you again; I really do. But I mean, there are so many people here who know me and I’m not really out. To anyone. Except you.” And someone online, he added silently in his head.

“That’s okay,” Phil said. “We don’t have to- do anything gay if you don’t want to.” He paused. “At least not in public,” he added hopefully.

Dan chewed on his lip. “Even if my parents were out of the house, my little brother is really nosy. Sorry, I don’t think we’d be able to go there.”

“That’s okay,” Phil said, even though Dan thought he still sounded a little bit disappointed. “I’d still like to visit you. I don’t want to make you come to London every time we want to see each other.”

Butterflies erupted in Dan’s stomach. Every time? This wasn’t a one off thing?

“That’s sweet,” he said. “But really, London seems better in pretty much-”

“Awesome,” Phil said. “What time can you pick me up from the train station this Saturday?”

***

Dan opened AIM again, halfheartedly hoping that Amazingphil had come online in the five minutes he’d had AIM closed. He hadn’t, so Dan sighed, closing it again. He checked his twitter for another five minutes, then opened AIM again.

Amazingphil’s away message wasn’t even descriptive: “How much pain has cracked your soul? How much love would make you whole?” Just a Muse lyric. If it meant something, Dan wasn’t going to bother trying to decipher it.

Dan closed AIM again. He opened twitter. He closed twitter, and opened AIM. He repeated the cycle until it was time to pick Phil up at the train station.

Luckily, his mum didn’t ask why he needed the car, just absentmindedly handed him the keys and told him to drive safely. He parked near the train station, hoping he wouldn’t forget where he left the car.

“So this is Wokingham!” Phil said when he got off his train.

Dan nodded. “This is Wokingham.” Phil was disturbingly excited to be in Dan’s town. Dan wasn’t sure why, it was nothing compared to London.

Phil jumped up and down, smiling. Dan couldn’t help but smile back.

“So,” Phil said. “Show me the sights! Hear me the sounds! What is there to do around here?”

Dan shrugged. “Uh, I don’t really go out a lot. But there’s this coffee place I go to a lot if you don’t mind more coffee?”

Phil narrowed his eyes. “Is it Starbucks?”

Dan laughed. “Starbucks? You wish. Phil, I am going to take you to the indiest, least mainstream coffeeshop you have ever been to.”

Phil blinked. “Low bar, if I’m being honest.”

“After this, you’ll never be able to go to a Starbucks again without being disappointed.”

Phil raised an eyebrow. “Tall order.” He giggled. “Get it? Tall order? Because Starbucks drinks are-”

Dan rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help giggling either. “Shut up.”

Phil’s tongue poked out when he laughed, Dan noticed. “Never. I will not be silenced.”

Dan shook his head. “Disappointing.”

Phil pouted.

Dan relented. “It was a little bit funny.”

Phil immediately perked up. “You think I’m funny?”

Dan rolled his eyes so hard they hurt.

Phil giggled.

“Shut up,” Dan said. “Let’s go.”

When they got to the coffee shop, Phil spent an obnoxious amount of time reading the menu.

“It’s just coffee,” Dan said. “It’s not that complicated.”

“It is absolutely that complicated,” Phil insisted. He ended up taking about ten minutes to decide what to order, and when he did it was the same caramel macchiato he had ordered at the Starbucks they went to in London.

Dan reached past Phil to put a wad of pound notes on the counter. “My treat,” he said. “Since you got the train tickets and all.”

Phil glared at Dan and stuffed a wad of pound notes in the tip jar.

Oh well. At least Dan could say he tried. And the barista, who was honestly a little bit cute, seemed very happy about it, so Dan was going to call this a win.

Their coffee was ready in just a few minutes, and Dan watched Phil’s face carefully as he took his first sip of his caramel macchiato. “How is it?” he asked.

Phil closed his eyes. “It’s amazing.”

“Better than Starbucks?”

Phil’s eyes flew open. “Now, now. I didn’t say that,” he said.

Dan snorted at the look of near-panic on Phil’s face. “Don’t worry, Phil. I won’t tell Starbucks you’ve been cheating on her.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Dan. You’re such a good friend.”

Dan looked down. Friend. He didn’t want to act ungrateful, but he had been hoping that Phil didn’t want to only be his friend.

Phil groaned. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Dan looked up, confused.

“Sorry,” Phil said. “I kind of just got out of a relationship, and I know we live in different cities, so I don’t know if it’s honestly the best idea, but I really like you. And I want to make it work. If you do too.”

Dan smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

Their coffee date- date? Was this a date? It really seemed like a date- well, whatever it was, it went well. Phil admitted that this coffee was, in fact, superior to Starbucks. He told Dan a bit about his job- he worked as a video editor- and asked Dan about his. Dan was a little embarrassed to admit he worked at Asda, but Phil didn’t seem fazed. Before long, Dan was telling stories about all the outraged customers he’d dealt with, and Phil was laughing along.

Dan let himself relax a little bit. It didn’t seem like Phil was going to judge him.

They spent the rest of the day wandering around Wokingham. There really wasn’t much to see, but Dan pointed out all of the places he and his friends used to spend time, before, well, they stopped being Dan’s friends, and all of the little coffee shops and secondhand clothing stores he still went to.

When Phil got on his train home, he didn’t kiss him. Dan knew too many people in Wokingham for that. But Phil did hug him, tightly, and Dan whispered a promise to visit soon in his ear.

***

When Dan got back to his room, the first thing he did was check AIM.

Amazingphil still had the same away message as that morning. Dan sighed. Why was he so hard to reach today?

Oh well. There were other things to do on the internet anyway. Twitter was boring today, but there was always YouTube, and random AIM chatrooms where he didn’t know anyone. Dan lost track of time, chatting with someone he was pretty convinced was a fifty year old man pretending to be a teenager, until he got a notification that Amazingphil was online.

He immediately closed his other chat window; the fifty year old man would have to wait.

danisnotonfire: ur back!!! :D

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: im back :D

danisnotonfire: was ur relaxing day unplugged relaxing

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: yes

amazingphil: i had a good day :)

danisnotonfire: that’s good

amazingphil: i was thinking though

amazingphil: u know what’s weird

amazingphil: i don’t know what u look like >.<

amazingphil: we should skype or something

danisnotonfire: we should

danisnotonfire: when?

danisnotonfire: like rn?

amazingphil: sure

amazingphil: if u want

amazingphil: im not doing anything

Dan glanced around. He should clean his room.

danisnotonfire: give me 5

He glanced around again. There was no way his entire room was getting cleaned in five minutes.

Oh well. He had committed. He slammed his laptop shut and surveyed the room, trying to figure out what he could clean in five minutes. Or, well, what he could shove under his bed or in his closet in the next five minutes.

He managed to hide all his dirty laundry, then kicked a bunch of the clutter in his room to one side and pointed his laptop camera firmly away from it.

He opened AIM again, composing a message.

danisnotonfire: ok im ready

danisnotonfire: my skype is danisnotonfire too

He barely had time to open skype before he got an incoming call from Amazingphil. He picked up, then gaped at the screen in shock.

“Wait,” he said. “Phil?”

Phil blinked. “Dan?”

“What are you doing here?” Dan asked stupidly.

“Skyping you,” Phil said, just as stupidly.

“You’re- you’re Amazingphil?”

“Yeah.”

“And also Phil.”

“I think?” Phil extended his arms, staring at them, as if to check that they were real.

Dan groaned, putting his head in his hands. “How did we not figure this out?”

“To be completely honest,” Phil admitted, “I couldn’t really figure out what your screenname was supposed to say. I didn’t really know your name was Dan.”

Dan laughed. “What did you think it said?”

Phil blushed. “I don’t know!”

“No, really,” Dan said, an embarrassing amount of affection leaking into his voice. “What did you think it said?”

“Like, Dani snot on fire or something,” Phil said. “Look, it’s hard to read, it’s all lowercase-”

Dan groaned. “You thought my name was Dani and my username was about my snot being on fire?”

“Look,” Phil said, still blushing, “I don’t know. What’s your excuse for not knowing who I was?”

Dan felt his face heat up. He shrugged. “Phil is a common name?”

Phil laughed. “Not that common. Dan, you spork-”

“Shut up!” Dan said. “I’m not the one who doesn’t know how to read-”

“Maybe if your username wasn’t so hard to read-”

“Oh, blame it on me-”

“Look, I’m just saying-”

Dan scoffed. “You’re just saying.”

“I am,” Phil insisted. “Look, we both made bad decisions-”

“Bad decisions?” Dan said. “You think us meeting was a-”

“Okay, okay. Stupid decisions,” Phil corrected himself. “My point is, we’re here now. Isn’t that what matters?”

Dan had to agree that it was.

[peacharchivedtm]

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise? / @diiehrd

so as im not Fully Comfortable talking about the Worst Worst thing online yet , we’ll talk about the Second Worst thing and @ignite-passer was there ! So me and a couple of friends including sierra had a groupchat on discord for rp purposes. Well one of the girls in there, we’ll call her ............ T, basically came unglued. This happened back in like Feb of 2017/2018. I can’t for sure remember because i’m HORRIBLE with time lengths.  Anyways I had gotten REALLY sick AND on top of it my laptop had broken so i was confined to my phone. I don’t get super sick that often , so i was out cold. I’m talking it was snowing and (that’s rare for Mobile Alabama [cuz that’s where i was living at during this time]) i would literally go outside onto my balcony and lay in the snow because i was so hot. ( i had No I.D. at this time so I wouldn’t have been able to go to the doctor because : ))) ) well so anyways,  i would let my partners know ,, keep them updated. so T right ? me and her had a ship and she’s also an artist and she was at a con where she was selling said art. well , i would log in and give updates like ‘just bought a laptop so expect me on soonish’ or ‘im still sick rip’ and then pass right back out well T got pissed off at me for numerous reasons like “ignoring” her, or not “replying to her fast enough”. T basically wanted me and the other two girls to reply to them first before anyone else.  Well, i found out T was talkin’ shit about me , and me, the loveable dumbass i am , confronted her about it because i was the oldest out of the group and since it was focused on me , not we’re not fuckin’ havin it. well she said some bullshit and i thought it was over and we all had admin rights to our server.  Except , she got so bad we really feared that she was gonna delete the server for a while there so when she left ( of her OWN FREE WILL BTW ) we made sure she couldn’t be an admin if she came back and she did eventually come back like ‘lol im sorry : (((” well so ANYWAYS , she threw a fit bc i refused to give her admin rights back and i was like look, you’ve already left , and i can barely trust you right now to NOT delete the server and there’s a lot of information here between our muses ( big surprise i was writing niji.) i just want to make sure that you’re not gonna like delete the server or anything so give me like a week , maybe two , to truly feel like you won’t do that ???  Bitch left. blocked me. proceeded to talk shit about me to sierra and kyun so i was like well fuck u too. anyways i thought of this one bc she’s recently blocked my other friends and i was like ‘can’t relate. i was blocked first <3 lol.’  I’m missing a LOT of drama but really this is already long so , it sucked bc we were friends, good friends at that , but she had to turn out to be : // not good for my mental health lmao. snip snip ! 

[theskyexists]

ive bought harrow the ninth and am now attempting to reread act 1 so that i may understand it better

ianthe clearly proposes that Harrow not get herself killed trying to bring Gideon back - reading it over again. instead to take the future and somehow?? be really powerful together and forget about their cavaliers. but harrow says no

im once again struck with how offhand this book introduces the concept that the empire goes out to deliberately kill planets over a couple of generations

now im not sure....there also seems to be an implication that there’s no aliens - because they say only humanity has a soul - but client planets were said to rebel - i guess the human colonisers rebel against central solar system command sometimes? but then what enemy does the Cohort fight? possibly it’s just bigotry that they think aliens dont have a soul

but like - they find LIVING PLANETS and then - kill them slowly. to the extent that they need to move the entire population. WHAT? why do they do that??? just so they can do some bone tricks???!

what the fuk

so how did the planets get murdered again? and which solar system planets could really have been said to have had enough life to have a soul?? cos like, only one of them is really known for that

why did God give Harrow the choice to go back home TWICE if he was never going to let her?

once again, why mess with the Hand candidates if God was always gonna come for Cytherea? just to mess with him more?

yeah - harrow keeps hearing and saying ortus ninegad but the rest of the world remembers gideon.

Harrow truly is totally mentally shattered AND time is totally fucked up

but sometimes in the fake-ish timeline Harrow remembers but doesn’t remember Gideon - like how she notes that there were two womb-bearing members of the Ninth who were the right age...but only elaborates on herself

for some reason - Harrowhark remembers Ianthe’s arm ripped from her by Cytherea - but now it’s whole. for some reason

that letter is still so what the fuck

‘like you did the last time’ - hm harrowhark sewed Ianthe’s lips shut? how did she come by the power?

is ianthe - calling Harrowhark God?

throughout the first act, they keep referring to time, having too much time, or not mastering time, or not having enough time, ‘this time’ etc.

the eggs you gave me all died - that’s DIRECTED at Harrow, is my theory

ok but the planet revenants come after Lyctors and also God (- God became God when? at the Resurrection) before the Lyctors happened - God was still at Canaan House - despite the Revenants already coming right...

is Teacher criticising god and lyctors for leaving Canaan House lol?

ok so yeah Canaan House WAS part of a ‘last sacrifice’

ok so - Harrowhark is a little resurrection miracle. This implies that God killed a lot to resurrect the Houses.

wow God is being a very dad to Harrow

Blood of Eden - BOE - they turned their back on the solar system. now they hate necromancy. in other words - when the solar system died, God resurrected it - but before that point some humans had fled - lived. and they can see what absolute fuckin horror necromancy is ACTUALLY

so what im getting is...maybe...god resurrected humanity by killing the planets...?

i just realised that Ianthe has taken Gideon’s place as the smartass in the room - the counterweight to Harrow’s portentousness

what the fuck do augustine’s comments to Mercy mean???? why is she unloveable? why would he say that God doesn’t need her? and why is it obscene that Augstine calls God John? What is the dangerous game she’s playing? What was the foul implication??

‘Then that is your downfall’ OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Harrow BURN!!!

what i don’t get is - the Cohort is an army - when they land they die because they’re being killed by an enemy at the front - NOT in pure sacrifice for thanergy. so why does only the death of humans and planets produce thanergy. why is the death of the enemy not good enough? they don’t have fuckin souls?? they MUST be complex life. and doesn’t a planet produce a constant stream of thanergy? but i guess it’s not dying enough - generally its life maintains itself in ecosystems.....unless a fuckin lyctor ‘makes the juice flow’ i guess!

sometime in the next book there IS gonna be a ‘are we the baddies’ meme. muir loves memes and she stuck skulls on absolutely EVERYTHIGN. Like WHY THE FUCK would you colonise planets if you gotta kill them for it? LOL????

huh? augustine just said that they can’t use necromancy when in the river - but mercy mocked harrow for having hypothermia ? implying her fundamental failure was not being able to necro while in the river? Harrow’s inability was what was wrong partly right?? oh no ok it’s how Harrow tried to compensate for her body going lights out while in the river. alright. that was written confusingly

how and why is this a completely different story???

The Sleeper.......is Harrowhark? the suit is too close to what she was wearing killing the asteroid. and the sleeper is lying on ‘something’. oh they just straight up say it lololol

ortus got into trouble 19 years ago...hhmmmmm wasn’t Gideon 19??? huh? which is why Mercy started at Harrow’s peculiar YELLOW eyes that Harrow can’t see herself i think

‘i do things face to face’ ortus says after stabbing harrow. HUH? why go for a stab if decapitating would have done the job? just to give her a small chance to fight back? (face to face?)

why not tell God that ‘his’ attack dog is trying to kill you?

why does Ortus the First want me dead? ‘who?’ ---uh. has she forgotten him completely (time shit) or is she saying the wrong name? mercy wouldnt reply like that then right?

she told him and he’s like - oh well guess you gotta just get through repeated almost-successful attacks on your life. ???? THANKS GOD!!!

‘you, with your unfortunate memory for poetry’ HA! i love how we are reminded that she knew all the fuckin damn books nearly by heart which is insane!

Teacher suggests his dying at least three times a day?? hahaha what?.........................is this purely a meme reference. is that meme the mental image im supposed to have of Teacher??????????? is this trying to say that this meme was preserved in the amalgamation of human life that is Teacher?? oh my god....

no.....palamedus and camilla....did old Harrow really kill them.....

seems like all the murders were consensual maybe?

it’s probably too straightforward that Harrow created and alternate timeline and made for a Harrow Lyctor without Gideon dying and kicked her to the original? maybe she took Ianthe and Coronabeth with her bc she needed Ianthe’s help

is this Cytherea or Dulcinea? Pro seems real this time. why does Dulcie call Pal and Cam strands and cords?

did muir put in a fuckin secondary school S - muir’s just like - im gonna put in all the memes as a nod to ancient human culture

still no idea what the messages are that Harrow is getting

This Harrow is so goddamn sick. I mean she was sick before, but at least she had Gideon. Really do feel that that helped her. now she didn’t have that -- AND she’s getting slapped with trauma another five times

if ortus can undo the thanergy of her own bone then why not simply crumble HARROW into dust? cos there’s a core of thanergy fusion in her that he can’t undo?

FLKJDFKLJSDLFSD fucking IANTHE ‘Wow! Not how I imagined this happening, at all.’  FUCKIN HELL

Harrow with her fucking fucked up dramatic inner monologues about weakness and Ianthe comes in with this shit. she really is doing Gideon proud here.

Did love Harrow’s musings about how only a truly idiotically obedient Cavalier would be the only one to keep to a vow of silence. HAH! nice one muir

‘have you taken the time to rest lately?’ asks God, YOUR FUCKING SAINT IS TRYING TO KILL HER IN THE FUCKING BATH YOU IDIOT AHAHAHAHA

JEZUS FUCKING CHRIST - try and be normal Harrow! try and make some soup and read a book! Harrow: *does and then hyperventilates hidden under her bed after 86 hours of zero sleep*

she was trying to remember what cutlery did. why is this so goddamn funny hahahaa. this book has ONLY been Harrow being in extreme states of misery ALL THE TIME both mentally and physically to the point of death

GOD IS HAPPY THAT SHE MADE SOUP AND DOESNT EVEN FUCKIN NOTICE SHE’S NOT SLEPT FOR A WEEK SOMEHOW THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS SHIT

thats what you fucking GET you piece of shit god! you push a prodigy teen to the brink and she fuckin explodes your lyctor and feeds you her fuckin marrow. maybe you shouldn’t have ignored her goddamn fucking understandable distress

SHE FUCKIN HITS HIM WITH THE FUCKIN TRUTH what an IDIOT of a God. he truly doesn’t understand mortality anymore huh

I LOVE HOW MERCYMORN CONTINUES TO MAKE HARROW YOUNGER IN HER HEAD AHAHAHAHAHAHA she’s only nine years old!!!hahahaha

naturally God focuses on how - wait- actually harrow is truly an INSANE necromancer - INSANE

still no idea what the fuck is going on in the not-past

aww. ianthe’s scent soothes harrow now. begrudgingly of course.

i thought this was gonna be lovely angsty harrow/gideon but naturally that did not happen

harrow is comfortable! first time in the whole book! one moment of comfort!!!

‘love my twin, also murder’ tridentarius pffjlfjdljf

‘how i crave your honeyed words’ hah

wow this scene sure is weirdly sexual with these similes lol ‘as though she had shyly undressed for you’ ok there Harrow you about to chop her arm off calm it probably sex repulsed thirsty teen

i do love how....there is this theme again that’s everybody underestimating the main character - who is actually a prodigy. Gideon had that with the sword and Harrow also has it with being a Lyctor now

it’s so telling that these Saints would rather be shits to these babies than help Ianthe grow a new fuckin arm

i dont see why Ianthe can’t work off this bone construct which is her own stuff and put some flesh on it since SHES A FLESH NECRO?

Ianthe that’s super gay

wow muir really never delivers on full gay does she??? i dont mind but i think it’s so striking hahaa

how are Harrow and Ianthe still hung up on the Saint of Duty? i mean, if they dont have him against the RB they’re dead anyway

why is the First going through rain and ice?

Harrow haunted? naawwww

i cant help but like mercymorn though - she cares. it’s soured ages ago but she cares.

awww Harrow needs Ianthe to sleep

Ianthe constantly poking Harrow for her prudishness is so goddamn funny.

‘It’s the type of energy i wish to take into my future’ AHAHAHAHAHAAH IANTHE MY GOD

‘i always forget you were an honest to go nun ... and six years old to boot if you listen to mercymorn’ HAHAHAHAHAHA

‘you look good enough that im proud of my handiwork but not so good that i’ll be consumed with lust and ravish you over the nut bowl’ fpdfjsdfkjsd this is what harrow means with crude japery and yet....

mercymorn has started to call harrow three years old. i will NEVER tire of this gag

all of the blood of eden stuff happened in the past 25 years??? god was on the erebos, but he also remembers ortus kicking the commander out of an airlock? that was in the last 25 years??

Ianthe‘s carressing the nape of Harrow’s neck. hmmhm

its honestly super weird if you think about it for more than 10 seconds that theyre talking about their cavaliers whom they murdered (im still not sure if all consensually) ten thousand years ago (!) and how hot they were that just seems.....fucked up

Harrow is like WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! basically all the time but especially now. yep well that was to be expected i guess lololol

Harrow being painfully frozenly fascinated by (god having) sex and deeply repulsed is very Harrow

oh nooooo well that was a perfect kiss between them really

the funny thing about Harrow is that though she is so completely fucked up - just like Gideon - she is fundamentally a helper.

why wouldn’t Harrow have thought of blood wards! she knew he could only bleed thanergy! it;s the first thing i thought - just use not bone wards then!

ortus thinks anastasia is in Harrow - which makes me think - why does he think that’s possible?

mercymorn now calls Harrow a two-year-old. i am waiting for embryonic genius

so did they use the river to get to the planets theyre killing?

Harrow feels the peace and pleasure of a stroll through nature that she has come to kill

oh my god - Harrow somehow saved Cam and Pal is still attached to the mortal plane!!

Harrow helps Cam risking herself entirely just like that. yknow as she does

i wonder if Pal has realised that Harrow is not who he remembers

i think he realised once he realised haz mat suit was Harrow also...

ianthe xo’d harrow.....lol

im sad that original harrow is definitely dead.... :( loved her. guess gideon’s not coming back either. not sure how the second adept survived. she didn’t survive in the original timeline either. but she was ‘killed’ in the other - just like coronabeth..so that means soemthing

this whole ‘flashback’ stuff to Canaan House is Harrow being in the River the whole time. the cold temperatures, the blood, the creatures theyre fishing from the sea that apparently abominations

after all, we’ve just learned about river bubbles and a haz!harrow that can change their parameters.

all the people ‘dead’ she’d not spoken to much or at all beforehand. like they’re NOT real, in the River. the only one not like that is Dyas...

the fact that the narrative keeps calling Dulcie, Dulcie means she’s really Dulcie.

there’s giant organs falling from the ceiling. this is definitely the river

they talk about time AGAIN

the Body is the devil who let herself be used to complete the work of Teacher and the Lyctors in his mythology....hmm. and when they realised the price (AFTER? the work was done?) they wanted her dead but he buried her....SHE allowed them to become Lyctors?? I still don’t understand why the heck that was necessary

the king is dead, long live the king. hmmmm

Harrow comes onto a hallucination of the devil who was her first crush with the voice of her parental figures and the eyes of a love interest she can no longer remember - which is actually not precisely a hallucination probably - and gets summarily rejected lol OUCH (the Body didn’t mean it that way ofc)

Harrow is so repressed on every single front but definitely sexually

I love Mercy

so there is death beyond death. does everybody go into the river and become a mad horrid ghost? like - is that everybody’s fate? how awful

ok so God DID resurrect the planets also. ? but like. then why are there resurrection beasts?

what does resurrection mean? and who killed the planets in the first place?

BECOMING NONE HOUSE, LEFT GRIEF

oh.....my god.

ARE YOU AND IANTHE BEING SAFE!!?!?!?! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

HIS BODYGUARD IS THE DEVIL??

so the destruction of Earth somehow made God? as though it was something that simply followed from it

A.L. was destroyed in the first assault? Of an RB

so the RB’s were happily running off in the other direction until they decided to fuck around and kill their mates to become immortal and powerful - then the RB’s turned around and came towards them - which meant leaving the planets God had resurrected forever.

what the fuck god??? hahahahaa

God always seems so likeable goddamn.

Harrow is such a dramatic bitch. Affection??? JUST KILL ME!!! KILL ME!! LET ME SMASH THE GLASS SO I CAN KNEEL IN IT AND BLEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!!!

Harrow goes into her fun kid's game of not dying to traps.

But she instantly calls him father. OH MY GOD

HE DOESNT BELIEVE HER!!!

'then that will be your downfall' - is what Harrow said to Augustine AND IT WILL BECOME TRUE FOR THEM ALL

to be dismissed like that where it hurts most - to have God Dad dismiss her only slip of comfort her only pillar of truth in this crazy old world

'nobody had watched you leave'

SOMEBODY HAD - I love all the deliberate references to Gideon

Temporal lobe!!!! Again the temporal lobe!!!

So why was it again that Harrow refused to be locked in with the Emperor?

So isn't God gonna check out Harrow's temporal lobe? He's just gonna let that mystery go to its death?

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK

Muir what the fuck??!!!!!!!!

Oh it was.....a hallucination?

Always love how this dips into genuine horror sometimes

What's weird is that Lyctors seem made for the task of going into the river and killing Resurrection Beasts - instead of the other way around.

So say - that the sword somehow holds Gideon's soul (we've just learned that that's possible from Pal and also Ortus trying to get Pent to summon his grandma by his sword) - does it not make sense that Harrow 'for some reason' stabbing Cytherea's corpse with it transferred it to her? Or maybe it's SOMEHOW Anastasia if Ortus was macking on her. But Ortus thought HARROW had/was Anastasia.

IANTHE WANTS TO MARRY HARROW - HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

Every fucking chapter doesn't make things any clearer. This is worse than Gideon the ninth

Hello???? Am I reading a canon alternate universe roleswap au??? What the FUCK is going on. This is like - if they hadn't gassed the 200 and her parents instead adopted Gideon for her clear necromantic gifts which nobody noticed somehow the other time round

I do love how Aiglamene was the sole source of slight comfort in Gideon's life. And Crux was Harrow's - apparently in any sequence of events.

Harrow is tumbling through timelines. But how can you do that just by messing with the lobe?

WHAT!! WHAT!!!

Is this...is this what I think it is??? Is thi

The fanfic roots are STRONG in this one. In fact I believe I've READ this fanfiction

Harrow's temporal fever dream (in the river?) HAD HER (Decidedly Not) VYING FOR 'HER DIVINE HIGHNESS' hand, which is either the Body or Gideon or both lololol. Seeing as the previous had Gideon as the main unnamed titled character - I bet it's Gideon ahahaaga

A fucking. COFFEESHOP AU. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD

We've had roleswap, 'ball' au, and coffee shop au populated by the ghosts of the dead LOLOL,

I knew it!! I knew that they were ghosts and that they were in the river!!

Ok so but when did Harrow shoddily create the bubble? When she adjusted her memories at the start? When is this. Ah Harrow has the same thought hahaa

So the stage is a - she was building her memories while sleeping?

Why is that she cannot access her lyctorhood like this...

I just realised that Harrow's mind made the party food taste like SALT based on Ianthe's cooking!!!! Hahahaha

THE NARRATOR IS GIDEON. But it doesn't sound like Gideon though

There's more to the work than simply preserving Gideon's soul though. There are next steps that Harrow prepared for that Harrow doesn't know about yet

Who was the sleeper and why was it in Harrows riverscape of memories that she ACCIDENTALLY??? made

Ok she sounds like Gideon NOW

Gideon no it's not because she didn't want you! It's because she wanted you to live!!!!!

And she succeeded....your soul is INTACT in her body!!!! You're protecting her with full consciousness!! How the fuck. And why didn't that happen before when she went to the bubble?

Are the ghosts of the contestants happy that they got pulled out of the River briefly? Or were they so briefly in there they couldn't remember?

She returned them to the RIVER???? is that really such a kind fate????

Something has gone wrong in the River - yeah because why r all these ghosts going insane and stoppering it up like slib

Do love how Muir has found a way to give these characters more screentime

I actually said 'oof' when Harrow screamed at Ortus - oof that really is embarrassing. GodDAMN Ortus you stepping up with the emotional support!

I've EVEN read the damn fanfic in which they switched bodies. My god.

A. L. apparently is thought to wander about still. I think she's the body....I do believe she's the body. That's why the Lyctors are scared of her

She thought - what. Mercy is talking about blood of Eden's commander. What is going onnnnn still!!!! Mercy is the traitor I guess. But how is blood of Eden connected to the ninth house and the body?

Why is Mercy awake on the mithraeum and not in the River anyways?

Gideon.... And the commander were in cahoots? So did A. L. and Anastasia an the body and the commander all have the same eyes?????

What the fuck is going on indeed.

Cytherea seems to have had a plan B for getting revenge on the Emperor. Or something had a plan B with her corpse as the main weapon.

If guns are so effective against people why aren't they still used.

The messages are from the commander. I.e. Gideon's mother. I.e. Anastasia? We never explicitly did learn how she met her end no? Gideon was convinced that Anastasia had taken the baby. It just seems incongruous how the Emperor spent like 80 years on the Erebos and the Lyctors were faffing about - meanwhile there was this drama going on in the last half century?

I love Abigail Pent. Love that I got to see more of her.

I'd honestly forgot that Judith was alive by the end of all of that shit

The sleeper is -the sleeper is Gideon's mother. Also. She's haunted by her mother. SOMEHOW. what the fuck? They couldn't drag her spirit back from the river they said!

'you wizards never learn' there's a whole modern regular sci fi world and culture out there! Or maybe it's just a. L.

Is it? Or is it Anastasia? Or is it the commander? Or are they the same thing?

The sleeper wants Harrow's body. Somehow invaded it - probably from the river? - which means its Anastasia or the commander. Which means that whatevers possessing Cytherea is someone else.

In retrospect - Harrow's coldness to Ianthe talking about - to what her - seemed nonsense at the time - in the very first part - doesn't quite fit.

Oh my fucking GOD Gideon is fighting Ianthe for messing around with her fucking girlfriend - who is HARROW, who actually, Ianthe wants to marry.

They just went from ramping up to a serious fight to Gideon dropping Corona's name and suddenly they're like - ah we got more important priorities actually.

Augustine's first thought at thinking a.l./the body (?) is in Harrow is John - and the Second is Joy!(mercy?)

'How I was gonna have to take showers with all your clothes on.' fuckin Gideon hahahaha

Wonder if Ianthe truly believes what she's saying - that Harrow was trying to rid hersel of Gideon. It's preposterous. It's just hurtful talk.

GIDEON REALLY THOUGHT THAT LOOK TO MEAN THAT HARROW DIDNT LOVE HER??? THIS IS A CONSTANT BARRAGE OF ALL THE ANGSTY DRAMATIC SHIT IVE BEEN YEARNING FOR

Oh my fucking god Gideon calling Ianthe out for being in love with Harrow in the most iconic way ufsojdjdodnd 'she wants the D - the D stands for dead'

Crazy brain-mutilated Harrow sure made it seem that way I can tell ya that!!

Hahahahahaha Ianthe remembering Harrows prudish Ortus/Cytherea shit. Amazing

Aw Gideon really went and fell right into the cavalier/bone mistress shit huh. And trying to shield Harrow - well as noted before - very necessary because harrow has been having a godawful miserable time - mostly because of herself.

Gideon appreciating Ianthe's pun xD

Love how neither of them position themselves as the love of Harrows life but instead as inexorably attached to her by the sheer role they play in her life - they don't dare aspire to what they think they can't get.

Muir realises this is gonna end up as a Gideon/Harrow(/theBody)/Ianthe ship right?

Oh WOW THIS IS AMAZING. nonius the legendary nonius!!! Come to protect Harrow!!!

For some reason the Sleeper can manipulate the rules of this River bubble and doesn't seem surprised about it

If all her cavaliers were this excited for death, she was definitely the problem.lololol. somehow Harrow, you inspired undying loyalty in even a person that you treated abominably

Yeah Harrow you slowpoke. If the Sleeper can adjust the rules - so can you

If the sleeper was not Harrow's invention - but planted itself - then they're very lucky it got to the ghosts that weren't actually there - first.

So it was the commander....a portrait in a shuttle of blood of eden - can only be the commander. And redhaired? There are too many red haired people in this book!!

It's nice how all these ghosts got to have lasting impact from beyond the grave

NONIUS KNEW ORTUS/GIDEON?

Ok so ....there's the bed of the River with stoma. But there might also be the other side.

Did Harrow really not account for steps beyond her plan to mutilate her brain?

Is this book really gonna go: fuck you Gideon will die anyway ?????

But.wait. the sleeper had a two-hander. Where did that go???

I don't get it. If they go into the river - won't they also go insane?

SO NYAH!!!!!???

Ok but - what? The Commander ALSO -somehow - took over Cytherea's body?

'did the ten billion give you that too' I KNEW CANAAN HOUSE HELD EVEN GRUESOMER EXPERIMENTS AND SACRIFICES THAN LYCTORHOOD. God is made of ten billion souls. I think they killed humanity on earth to spare it 'slow inexorable apocalypse' and used the power to make the Empire from the resurrected. There was an extremely vague implication by Teacher to the amount of souls violated in Canaan house in the first book.

So God knows the commander went for the ninth house? Firstly, how. I don't understand how Anastasia fits in here!!! It would explain though how the commander

So the commander found the ninth house - and she died right? They tried to call her spirit but couldn't. But she became a revenant?

Ah. God THREW the bomb.

A fuckin wake me up inside joke jskdjskdnd

So Mercy and Augustine ( not Gideon ?) had all turned against God? And they were working with the commander to -... Make a baby????? And then evacuate the houses???? (For when God dies - there being a risk that Dominicus would go out I guess)

Make a baby/body to lever the one who lies in the tomb into....?

Love how the book foreshadowed Mercy and Augustine manipulating and lying to God - and turns out they did that on much bigger scale

They....meant to kill the baby to break the blood ward?

'The woman who I was pretty sure was my mother, wearing the body of the woman I'd had a crush on, who in turn had been wearing the identity of a woman she'd murdered -' KSNFKDJDKFJJFC

So why did they want this consistently characterised as kindly and humane god dead?

GIDEON THOUGHT IT WAS HIS!!!! But he called Wake Anastasia then????

They really are the same???

Oh my god I know what they're gonna say. Gideon is the daughter of God. WHICH HARROWS FUCKIN ROYALTY AU FEVER RIVER DREAM FUCKING FORESHADOWED HAAHAHAHAHHAA

Isn't it fucking ironic that God told Harrow that - HE WANTED HER TO BE HIS??? WHILE GIDEON HIS ACTUAL DAUGHTER WAS SPINNING INSIDE HER CHEST LIKE A LITTLE NUCLEAR FUSION REACTOR

They've been trying to kill him for more than 500 years???? Did mercymorn actually genuinely learn the extremely fine knowledge of the body for THIS purpose? How many thousands of years ago did they decide to kill god?

A fucking DAD JOKE

GIDEON REMEMBERING HOW SHE USED TO TELL HARROW HOW HER OTHER PARENT MIGHT BE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD SO STOP PICKING ON HER

I am fucking DELIGHTED I AM SO GODDAMN OVERJOYED

It segues into a reminder of how shit their childhoods were and how their suffering had them lash out at each other endlessly and how it made Harrow suicidal and shit though - which is great

ALECTO'S EYES. THE A. FOR A. L.

A. L. The cavalier of God....but she walked. She had a body.

Ohhhhh. That's why they betrayed him. That age-old hurt. Ten thousand years old but still the bane of their existence, the seed of their madnesses. The loss of their cavaliers. Oh how did they manage to keep that from him?

I honestly thought - is Mercy saying she knows he killed humanity? But that's not what she couldn't have forgiven?

But why did he hide it? Why did he hide the perfect way? ('it would be easier' why???)

Ah. Yes. The expansion, why would the Emperor do that?

Uhhhhh. Couldn't Mercy have done that all along??????????????????????? Couldn't Mercy have killed God all along? That was both a trick and utterly sincere.

Augustine and Mercy were trying to do the right thing..... Mercy.... :'( Augustine was right. God is much less sentimental than he seems.

'im not even mad that you failed to either fix or put down Harrow' hm guess the constant kill quest HAD come from God after all. What a goddamn bitch of a man

What was the original plan? Unleash a. L. ? And then what? How would that help with the whole Dominicus going out problem?

Had God ever really thought to make up for all the bullshit he put his Lyctors through. He seems so affable and human but he's caused so much suffering. He's as good at manipulation at them - better!

The resurrection beast can't kill him, but he let his Lyctors die to them one by one anyway. So why??

Why are they punching each other in the River? They can use theorems right? God could blast Augustine to pieces same he did mercy?

Yes! It's true! Pyrrha and Gideon both exist in the same body - foreshadowed by his cavaliers build. There was something so fishy about it.

I love how Gideon has exactly the same response as me: what the fuck. Pyrrha??? Gideon??? What the fuck??? Why did they BOTH have an affair with their enemy??? So ok. Pyrrha stayed underground from Everybody for the thousand years. SOMEHOW their compartmentalisation let her pop up in his body regularly and not just when Gideon remembered her - because the hadn't fucked up his brain. But then how did THEY do that.

This absolutely galactic balsiness

The stoma thinks John is a resurrection beast. Might it be.....because he's..... A revenant. A 10 billion souled kinda- revenant ? A bit like.....Harrow is? Which is why he felt kin to her? Which is why he compared her creation to Resurrection?????I've really gotta reread those messages from commander wake.

A fucking jail for mother meme. Jail for one thousand years. Gideon how do you know this one????

I KNEW Ianthe would do that. Knew it. She doesn't want the system to die. Coronabeth is still out there. Well guess what - she's on the opposite side babe. Ok I realised that Gideon's mum apparently stuck to Gideon and then the sword? But also did Harrow manage to break the blood ward because of of her proximity to Gideon? Did Harrow uhhhh get put into a pocket in the river? But the emperor wasn't murdered!!! Fuckin chapters kept lying. They're on a hold planet. Finally - we meet the people. Alecto and Camilla and Corona? And Judith.? Did Alecto somehow do a time twisty around to come save Gideon at that moment in the river? Once again nothing much more is clear.

[theadoptedhale]

2020 is upon us (over here in europe anyway). i just wanted to say thank you for sticking around through thick & thin with my wolf & i. we’ve had a rough few months, another few tough months ahead, but there’s a bunch of people in my life who give me the strength to carry on. 2019 was the year of change for me in some ways (some i’m still working on lol) & i gotta say i am somewhat proud of me for fighting anxiety more determined than ever. friendships were found, formed & lost. some grew even stronger. 

i just wanted to take the time & thank some of the nicest people i’ve met on tumblr this year (or before). this’ll be long bc i ramble a lot lol. hence the cut.

one person i wanna thank & direct a few words at is someone who’s been there for me a shit ton for quite some time now is @gaydemonwolf​. devil. you’re one of the sweetest people i know, so kind & understanding, so supportive, i can’t put in words how glad i am that we met. i can’t imagine going even just a single day without talking to you & i hope i won’t have to. our muses clicked instantly (*cough crowley & peter *cough*), as did our interests & guilty pleasures (lol). thanks for starting 2020 by my side. :3 here’s to more threads (ok maybe we shouldn’t got a bit), more feels, more nights or days spent chatting & more AU ideas. 

i also wanna thank a few more folks.

@fxrkas​ for welcoming vincent into your & farkas’ life without protest & for being so, so positive & sweet whenever we talk. we love you & farkas, our precious wolf bear to the moon & back. 

@maleshaven​, we’ve not been speaking or writing much, but you absolutely definitely belong on this list, because you are one of the special few people who were there when i was this close to giving this blog up. you accepted vincent the way he was & worked with his character without trying to change him. you told me he matters when this website made me believe otherwise & i really wanted to thank you for that. also i love your writing so that’s that. 

@sinceiwasfour​ -- i mean, i was gonna feature you on crowley anyway but like, i feel like you deserve to be on both of these lists anyway? when i shyly poked about you maybe writing with my werewolf a little while back, i never expected it to go like this. i feel like we even write more on vince than we do on crowley XD. either way though, i’m like... i’m so grateful you’re in my life because you are so precious & just an amazing person. you supported my twitch, my oc, my demon child, whatever i came to you with, you’ve jumped in it before i can even finish asking you for support & that’s why you are so fckn amazing. 

@itsbitmxdinhere​, you really need to stop talking badly about yourself because you’re precious & i will protect you even from yourself tbh. we’ve both slowpokes, but i love what we have & that we ended up shipping two muses i honestly didn’t think were shippable this easily. (there is nothing nicer in rp than finding a ship forming without you even noticing it did until it hits you in the face). i love crowley & vince, i love the feel peter & vince give us. i’m glad you’re here. 

now a few less rambly ones.

@spxllcasting​, we’ve only recently really started writing, but you like, didn’t hesitate (or ignore me?) to get to know vince & i’m really enjoying getting to know your muses, too. 

@boysofcharm​, same goes for you actually. we’ve started out slow bc of my dumbass-ery, but you’ve been patient & kind, which i appreciate a lot. i can’t wait to properly get back at you with replies & for our boys to get to know each other. 

@fablehcnter​, leeeeeeee you’re precious & ilu. i can’t wait to get our boys going & just writing more. also hopefully gaming again more soon. :3

@tellarealstory​, when your rain & river blog was archived, i thought you were gone & i couldn’t say goodbye (as it is on tumblr a lot) & i was so sad, but then, months later i found you again & honestly, that was one of the happiest days of 2019. thanks for that. <3

others i really want to thank for coming into my life. we may not talk all that much, or write much, but know that i care about you like i do for those above. 

@lotcria, @pieceintheirgxmes, @godblessrickgrimes, @theking-blackheart-muses, @carnalxfates, @blue-eyed-devils, @origamirp, @rha-egal (love you), @roguishlydangerous. @screamxftime​, @coivi​, @aflamboyanceofgays​, @canonbcys​ & @inferniangod​. 

not really rp related, but there is one more person who’s made me super happy this year & i feel like i should mention that. it’s the fabulous @nathindrakes​ who has been feeding us all astoundingly beautiful gifs to rp with, or to simply stare at without asking for anything in return. thank you. i know even icons take a lot of time, i can’t imagine the time you put into making all these gifs. thank you.

[lcnguor]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon?  — Since she is an OC with her own lore I would say pretty much . Of course there are some heres and theres and she changed a lot from the first time I dragged her out of the void of my head . I originally wanted to make more of a gag character but ended up taking too much of the screen if I’m honest . but of course , since there is many other lores and crossovers are a must , some things change once or twice .

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  Nora is a mentor character , supportive and most likely to be the ace under the sleeve like a Kisuke Urahara from Bleach or Sinbad from Magi --- you know there’s something fishy but there is a charm that even thought they are slidding in the background for the main character , their relevance is vast . As a mentor characters , she would often help with insight , understanding of complex things , giving moral lessons and giving others a sense of security whilst also making sure to throw hints about a doubious nature . Keeping a character around her to keep their feet on ground while never shooting down their hopes and dreams .

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  She is not approachable unless you have enough guts to -- perhaps even looks intimidating or hard to come up with something plausible to make the meeting more natural . And honestly , she looks like a mainstream angst character at first glance --- even I myself believe this and start having second thoughts ... :laughs:  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  An old project I had archived in my closet of memories (?). She was the main , nameless character of a journal about , well , her and the emotions she had to deal with in the everyday . I will be seriously honest ... it was a self insert :blushes: after all it was like a personal journal I was doing on my darkest days . But after that , she became Sable -- the first character on her own -- who also served as a mentor ( but the story was much more dark , seriously ) and then just came to this . I even used the pre-prototype name lol . The idea was to put the whole story into a RPG pixel game or a short comic series where she ( Sable ) and the protagonist would wander around a city called “Nobody’s Home” , a place were people with “thats” ( what now are called Stalkers ) got dragged into and either confront their emotions and solve / comes in terms with them or get eaten by them ( a metaphor for suicide or dead by mental illness ) . The story was more or less about Sable teaching Nona ( the genderless protagonist ) about different mental states , issues and others and helping people solve them so they can return to the real world . Needless to say , the story ends with Nona returning after coming in terms with their condition ( funnily enough , the protagonist had a bunny shaped emotion ) while on the other hand Sable stayed behind along with her closest friend , who she question why he keeps being around if he could return himself , to what he replies he doesn’t want to leave her alone esp since she can no longer return --- hinting Sable committed suicide but by sheer will power remained there to help others to deal with what she couldn’t . Voez , the friend I mention , is even Victor from her current lore . Haha , I like recycling I guess . When I came with Nora , it was mostly to kill time and altered her base story a bit since the original plot was way to close up to make an interaction .

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  How well received she became , I know it sounds a bit ... uh , bad . But I honestly never expected people to like her . heck I even have my doubts about myself liking her haha . plus I know it’s not easy to deal with a character with a somewhat meta power ... I still struggle from time to time but I’m managing and having the support I have atm is something that keeps me going . I love plot a shit lot . I love to come up with ideas with others . To expand what I already have . besides , there is so much I haven’t write down yet that is about her lore but I’m a bit insecure yet . I guess I’m too used to forums where everyon follows a general plot haha ... old habits die hard .

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / 50-50

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO, I HATE DRABBLES.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day?  YES/ NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / .... UHHHH

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES VERY MUCH A LOT / NO.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  I haven’t got any so far --- which honestly surprises me because well ... there is so much that can bother people . as I said , I received a lot of support and praise , which also surprises me haha ... I won’t deny I would love to hear what people think , even if I later end up riding the anxiety train to the moon but it’s also a way to grow up , I believe . god ... I sound like nora Uu

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I absolute love this and need this . It comes easier for me to make a 20 word pages of information about stuff if I’m asking specifically about it . even add explanatory drawings with it lolol since I’m kinda bad with words . besides , showing me interest on a character would just fire the heck out of me to keep going . I mean , everyone likes to get some curiosity and a chance to develop more their characters , canon or not .

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  I would for sure . I’m not smart and I actually do a shit ton of research --- but even so I can miss a lot of shit people would say <nah that’s not how it works> and that would be helpful as heckie . but of course , needing the why also would tell me if the person disagreeing is doing it with a solid ground or just because they are being a piece of crap . I’m really tired of tumblr mentality and shitty people who aren’t mature enough to act decently .

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  you cannot like everyone or have everyone like you either . I don’t really care much ... esp since nora is an original character . if it constructive critisism , okay -- I will take it , but gimme a solid reason other than “ your character is / is not ... “ and then give a crappy critique because she doesn’t fit your agenda or standards .

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  you are fucking free to unfollow me and ignore me for the rest of your life . I really don’t get the point of hating on the internet just because and keep promoting your hate just to be a pain in the ass .

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  I fucking wrote in my rules that people are even fricking free to fix my grammar and english because holy heck , even to this day I still do some ugly shit . I’m dumb , help ...

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  ehhhhhhhhhhhhh, kinda . I take everything with water . whenever it’s of ideology , people as it is , characters ... I am quite tolerant and try to keep the “okay this person thinks this way , fine .” but as long as nobody crosses the line where they try to spoil it for me or others , I get super bitter . I love OOC , getting to know the one behind the character makes me feel more secure about coming to them and just rambling about plots and hcs and whatever idea got in my mind . but if I see someone and , forgive me god for misjudging , see them as a person that will put me on my nerves -- I won’t even try . as for the friends I have and those who don’t know me as much ... I am obnoxiously sporadic and have a lot of ups and downs very often . one day I could be talking 100 words per second others I will just take a fucking week to respond . honestly , I had mined my social skills for two years plus several other irl stuff previous to that , so I’m always a bit too anxious around people , esp people I REALLY like . I’m insecure as heck , if someone is vague ( just because , idk , it was a lazy day for them ) I think at least 10 different reason why probably that person hates me now . I’m a bit dumb 26 year old baby .......... but I’m very aware that is completely on me . I’m a mess.......  so , what was the question again ??? ... I , yeah ... it’s a kinda . but I try , at least haha.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by:  @skyvar​ herself Tagging: y’all , cowgirls and cowbois . i hate tagging bc i forget urls :finger guns:

[gluttons]

1 2 3 5 10 12 20 22 36 (give me the salt fam)

What would prevent you from following someone?

i pay quite a bit of attention the mun’s voice when reading rules / pages . some people just come off as extremely aggressive / controlling, and it puts me off from following sometimes !  things like : do not follow and block me immediately if you are abc-phobic and support defg-isms ; it’s irritating when i see too much ooc / photos / literally anything apart from your replies ; i will unfollow n block you if you don’t attempt to approach me within a week and DONT try to contact me asking why i unfollowed you …

i certainly don’t want to interact sexist / racist / lgbtqphobic people myself . in an ideal world,  i would also want to interact with all 100+ of my mutuals on the regular and have them approach me within a week of following me - like wouldn’t that be convenient ?? but in reality , people have their own obligations n priorities. people grow up in diff backgrounds n might not have the exact same viewpoints as u. like. idk,, it just comes off as intolerant and disrespectful.  i dont want to feel like i’m walking on eggshells whenever i log in or make a post.

Are aesthetics important to you? If they are, why?

honestly… no !!! as long as the chara is interesting n there is quality writing i don’t mind if a blog is default tumble theme w no aesthetics or post formats at all  ( w the exception cutting posts and uniform icons ! )  as long as the blog format is consistent n readable i will give any blog a fair shot i think !!  ‘:/c

What current rp trend do you hate?

i honestly rly dislike the dashboard blog thing. i know its hypocritical of me to say this bc i also succumbed to the trend but like. but it makes things so hard to access ,  esp if i want to like, edit or add tags to an old post i have to use mass editor and can’t just edit via permalink rip  ( maybe there’s a way of doing it and im just big dumb who knows )

Do you prefer interacting with male muses or female more? Why?

i dont rly have a preference w muse gender ??? :/c  i honestly follow whoever i find interesting n like,  write w whoever wants to write w me lol .  but i do think female muses approach meph more often - idk if its bc of the distribution of female to male muses on tumble or smth ?? but this happens w so many of my muses - idk if its how i write them or how i come across as a person or smth but like . yeah. orz.

Have you ever had a bad experience with commissions? As either someone who makes them or as someone who buys them?

actually nooo ???? i’ve never bought or made a commission from / for anyone in my life so .. sfkafa i am completely indifferent on this subject.

Have you been involved in drama? Do you regret it?

ive never been in drama ?? i dont think?  i feel like i generally am quite soft spoken n genial on tumblr dash bc im . weary about projecting my views ,,,,

but well, i used to know sb who was caught up in clique drama and they would constantly badmouth abt other users to me . i didn’t know how to outright tell them i wasn’t interested in hearing it,, but yeah we kinda stopped talking after that.

Have you ever felt pressured to write something you weren’t comfortable with?

slightly ???  i have had ppl push ship ideas onto me real strongly . i’m not against ships but they’d come to me w a preconception of who my muse is …  esp w canon muses … its not exactly a huge deal bc i get that ppl are excited to plot n ship characters,  but like .  yeah i have.  i’m not  …  great at refusing people hskfjdfa

What would make you block someone?

idk i’ve never actually blocked anyone  ( lol asides from p.orn bots ) . unfollowing  +  steadfastly ignoring them  usually does the trick for me.  shdfksdjfa

What’s one thing that other people seem to hate that doesn’t bother you?

well. this is a bit controversial …. but i feel like ppl are. too sensitive abt whitewashing ?? like i understand that there’s a problem if icons are deliberately edited to lighten skin tone or if a mun straight up erases the character’s racial identity , but some ppl just use pack psds n when the icons are like. two hexes off from their orig skin tone n people accuse them of bein racist and stuff. like . yeah ok,  maybe it was a poor judgement on the mun’s part ,  but labelling them a racist is just . not cool.

like damn. there are actual people out there suffering from the impact of racism ! victims who have been denied entry n detained at borders, subjected to police brutality, denied their rights to expression n respect in the workplace ,,,,,  like open your eyes,  putting a tinted psd over a picture or wtv is NOT racism oh my god. trying to claim that this falls into the same category ultimately trivialises the issue imo .

[queenharumiura]

|･ω･｀) hibari-kyouya-skylark

Send me |･ω･｀) + a URL and I’ll talk about this blog! ||Accepting||@hibari-kyouya-skylark [I was dumb and forgot to @ tag the last time so i’m making a point to remember this time OTL]

These memes are a time for me to just ramble and talk. So, to start, I guess I’ll go with: I was very confused when I looked in my notifs one day to see that I was followed by a Hibari blog. Not in a bad way! It’s like--- ???????????????? someone from KHR, with a popular muse, is following me? 

Is this a mistake or---?

Forgive me, because I dealt with a lot when this blog started out. I won’t get into how many times I was told that people didn’t want to interact because: “My muse is gay” or “But my muse hasn’t canonically interacted with Haru before-- I don’t want to interact”. To put it simply, I became kinda jaded around that time. 

I’ve gotten better, but there are certain habits that I formed because of that dark time. Such as, I virtually never follow first. I am too terrified to follow people first because of what happened in the past. I’ve had people follow back, but then later tell me they had no intentions of ever interacting. It’s like-- but why follow back then? 

So, that’s why, I stopped following first. I have people follow me first as that’s a clearer indication that people are actually interested in rp’ing. So that’s the backstory on that. So, I was surprised to see a Hibari following. Essentially, i’m very unused to people from KHR following and interacting, so I was very ?????? for a bit. 

Pretty sure I asked about the guidelines via ask or im. Probably because they weren’t there? I’ll admit that I was terrified to ask, but I did it. I like to read the rules before I do anything with a blog so I was very ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; what if I mess up. Highkey anxious. 

I think I first came across the blog when they appeared on Rikku’s blog. Pretty sure I looked through the blog and was fascinated by the whole ‘ohhhhhhhh Yakuza backstory’ in the headcanons or about page. It was somewhere. I know that it was before the blog was then redone. 

Basically, I am a curious bean and I like to look into who people interact with and read random stuff. So when I saw the follow on Haru, I noticed the slight difference in url name and also the blog layout. I didn’t have to admit that, but here we are. I lowkey stalked bc i’m curious bean. Then got followed and was “shock-desu.”

I’m very easily intimidated so I was highkey intimidated lol. I won’t lie and say that I’m still not. I’m just--- like that. It can take me a while to warm up to people. Some, I can warm up to quicker than others. I’m not really sure what it is. Basically, i’m just dumb. We can chalk it up to that. 

So----- let’s see. Cycling back, I do think you said something about how you didn’t have rules up yet since you weren’t ready to do full blown rps yet since you were going back into the series to refresh your memory. I was okay with that and was pretty much, cool beans, i’ll wait. 

I’m pretty sure it was not long afterwards that I saw a post for rules that was written and was like- oho. Proactive- for a lack of a better word bc I can’t words at the moment. Idk, somehow that left an impression on me. Perhaps because 1) It lessened my anxiety 2) it just somehow gave off the feel that ‘someone asked for it, so I will put something up/find something while I’m reliving KHR’

So I appreciated that. Even if it wasn’t done for that purpose, I still appreciated it. I think it’s in the rules where it’s stated that you normally don’t like to write starters because you feel as though you can’t write them well. 

Did post a starter call tho, and I stared at it for a few seconds before I clicked on the lil heart. Will say that I was surprised that something was written pretty promptly. For another thing of backstory-- I don’t mean it in a bad way at all. I just-- am used to not getting starters written even if I like starter calls. I’ve just reached a point where I will like starter calls but not get my hopes up. 

So, to see something so prompt was a shock for me, and also--- uhh--- touching? It’s like, it could’ve been ignored, but it wasn’t. Not only was it prompt, but it was a well written starter and so, it left a favorable impression to say the very least. It goes to show that you took care when writing it, and that meant a lot to me. 

Afterwards, each reply was written very well and with a lot of detail. It’s clear that thought and effort was put into every reply, and-- idk, it made me pretty emotional. Like, wow, I think... Rena is enjoying this thread? New concept! A KHR blog who actually wants to interact. #Concept. 

[Sorry that this goes down a dark point sporadically. I just-- have baggage when it comes to the KHR fandom from a few years ago aha;;;;;;; I honestly don’t get my hopes up to high with KHR fandom bc of the past. It hurts less that way. ]

It was recently we talked via im and you let me know that you actually liked Haru and enjoyed interacting with all sorts of muses as it allows one to explore through different themes. I feel the same way, and it was nice to know that we shared that thought. 

Pretty sure I was also sent a fanart with Haru and Hibari in it and it’s like. omg. A picture tribute. #blessed. 

Lil things like that mean a lot to me bc it’s like, ‘wow someone thought of me and thought to share with me something. I exist in their realm.’ So that really helped me warm up in the past couple of days. 

Now i’m just intimidated because ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh such a good writer. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh can’t do justice. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh.

I can’t think of anything else to confess, write about, so i’ll stop there. alskjlaskjdlfajlfjals

[purecamp]

39 because we need some angst lol (any pairing you like!)

oooh shit sadistic motherfuckers out here tonight... but bc it’s me, i decided to throw this into higa! verse!!! tysm!!

“Courtney? We need to talk.”

Justin’s fiancée appeared immediately, as though she had been waiting for him to speak. Her head poked around the kitchen door, curls perfectly pinned against her head, and then she started walking up to the counter. Her fluffy purple dressing gown was wrapped tightly around her body, protecting her against the autumnal chill, and mismatching socks adorned her feet.

Justin felt bad immediately. His stomach twisted with guilt, heartache and regret. Courtney was kind, and sweet, and she didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve to look so concerned whilst Justin studied her and absent-mindedly thought that over in Greece, he wouldn’t need such a fluffy dressing gown. 

He wasn’t in Greece. He was in New York, in his apartment that he shared with the fiancée he had been somewhat pressured into proposing too, thinking about the girl he had left behind. He was far too young for this - for any of this - and it had all come to ruin. He was just young enough to make mistakes that were just hurtful enough to ruin lives who didn’t deserve to be ruined.

“I think we do.” Came her grave reply, her lips pursed and her eyebrows furrowed. Even in her worry, she seemed graceful and good-natured. She wasn’t fiery or passionate. She didn’t set him alight.

She never had.

“This is a breakup talk, isn’t it.” She continued. Her tone was flat - not necessarily unhappy, just devoid of all emotion. Justin was baffled at how quickly she had gotten to the point. “We’re gonna end the engagement and go our separate ways, aren’t we.”

Justin could only nod. The lump in his throat had grown too large, and Courtney’s comforting hand seemed to burn his skin. He flinched away from her touch - something he’d never done before.

“It- It hasn’t been right for a while... It wasn’t even right before we got engaged.” Courtney mused. “I know it was because of pressure from your parents and mine. The business merger would’ve been fantastic.”

Justin sniffed. “You don’t need my dad’s company name to boost yours. You’re gonna change the face of modern business, Court. I know you will.”

He paused, taking in a ragged breath. “Nineteen is too young. Too young to... give myself away to something I’ve never wanted. I don’t want to get married so young and box myself in with work like this. I had to get out.”

Courtney nodded. “Twenty is too young, really. I don’t know what they expected from us.”

“More than this.” Justin gestured to himself, although he wasn’t sure what he meant. Nothing made sense anymore, not since he’d left that god-foresaken island and its captivating inhabitants behind.

“Why the change of heart?” Courtney asked, wringing her hands. “I- I’m on your side. I think this has been over for a while, and we both need to move on, especially before this wedding is supposed to happen. But... what made things too much?”

The tears came forward before he could stop them, fighting to be first to roll down his cheeks. Again, Courtney tried to wipe them away, to help him, and Justin jerked away from her, sure that any touch other than Sharon’s would scar him for the rest of his life.

“You and I have been friends since we were kids.” He found himself saying, letting the tears just drip. “It made sense to start dating because that’s what people do. Childhood friends to couple. It’s just... how things are done.” Justin swallowed, mustering all the courage he could find. “And I love you Courtney, I really, honestly do.”

His throat seemed to catch. The words didn’t want to come out; he didn’t want to have to admit what he’d done. But Courtney deserved a man who was going to be faithful to her, and give her the life she deserved, and treat her like royalty and not like shit. She deserved someone who would set her alight.

“I love you. I just love her more.”

Courtney’s expression didn’t change. If anything, it softened. There was no hatred, no resentment, no anger - no fiery outbursts of emotion and passion and shock. It was alarming how much Justin had begun comparing her to Sharon, how she remained composed and dignified as Sharon had sobbed and yelled and beat the mattress with her fists. Sharon was explosive, a fireball of passion who felt every emotion too intensely, too much. Courtney had always been calm and reserved, and she knew how to control herself. Sharon was volatile and he was a spark in the night.

“How long?”

“Not long.” Justin answered. “On my trip away. I didn’t have years of background with her. I felt like I did, though. Like we’d met in a past life.”

“And been lovers.” She finished softly. “Lovers in another dimension.”

Justin nodded. “I’ve never felt like this before. It burns.”

Courtney’s hands were wrapped around a mug of now-cold tea, which she sipped at regardless. Her blue eyes were narrowed, as though deep in thought.

“Are you going back to her?”

“I can’t.” Justin shook his head. “Not after the way I hurt her. She’ll never want to see me again.”

Courtney shrugged. “And you’re gonna let that stop you? Why bother confessing this to me if not to go back and tell her that you’re a goddamn idiot and you’re back for good this time?”

It was bizarre - as if Courtney was on Sharon’s side, by all accounts in her view his mistress. Justin tried to ignore the way his heart thrashed and fought at the idea of going back and telling Sharon how much of a fool he’d been to ever let her go, and that he’d never love another as long as he lived.

“It wasn’t fair.”

“It wasn’t fair on who?”

Her expression said it all; her knowing frown and gentle eyes made Justin want to burst into fresh tears. She was right and he hated her for it, and he hated himself for it. In spite of all the ways he had fucked Courtney over, he felt in the pit of his stomach that none of it had been fair on Sharon.

He was a cheater and a liar and he didn’t even have the decency to believe that it was worse for his former fiancée, and not the girl he’d cheated with.

Courtney turned around to leave the kitchen, as grave as she had entered. Just as she reached the doorway, she stopped and sighed, before turning.

“Find her, Justin. For the love of God, make it worth your while.”