#me going in with 0 expectations is why it was able to sucker punch me so bad. my guard was down

[brofightiscancelled]

The best part of osomatsu's 8 billion aus is how often people get swindled by it. Oh sorry, this cool fanart is not ocs or something cool. It's the loser gooner show. Sorry.

it's like. no, the incredibly in-depth and well-done characterizations and themes are real. they're true. but they're most effective BECAUSE you don't expect them to be there. if you go in expecting a poop and shit anime you will be blown away by karamatsu's character depth. however if you go in expecting karamatsu character depth. you will be very underwhelmed by the poop and shit anime.

and then the extremely cool AUs build off of this wealth of character depth potential which is yet another layer of removal from reality. and then because you cant actually experience the canon of the AUs due to EOS/language barrier you're left with the base source material. the poop and shit anime

[starglow-xx]

owning a bakery and being discovered by the ada and the port mafia (part 3)

platonic! yosano akiko x f! reader

type of writing: head canons !!

this is part of my head canon series, flour & fluff !!

tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!

series synopsis: owning a bakery at 20 is tough; even more so when you have to handle members of two opposing organizations! this is your journey to meeting those fools and creating an unlikely bond with each of them. but only at the cost of your peace and sanity.

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: fluff & platonic stuff but trigger warning!! there may be a sensitive topic for others

*getting grabbed and pulled to an alleyway! alcohol mentioned!*

please remember that yokohama isn’t the friendliest place, especially at night.

previous: part 2 : their beloved president

author’s note: same ages as last time!! (so that means everyone is one year younger than canon; that makes yosano 24)

this one is actually pretty long :0

i got info abt her likes on her wiki page (careful! there’s spoilers!)

and yosano is a queen and no one can tell me otherwise

the doctor is in the house (quite literally)

going grocery shopping was an okay chore in your opinion

it honestly depended on your mood or whatever kind of shit happens when you go shopping

cause like something always, always happens whenever you go do groceries

sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, and sometimes it’s just plain weird

one time some weirdo proposed to you in the middle of the store asking for a double suicide

he was good looking you’d admit but it’s not like you’d ever see him again

or so you thought

a n y w a y s

every so often, you’d run out of real person food in your apartment

you mostly survive off all of the leftover bakery treats and ingredients—which works out pretty well actually—but bakery supplies unfortunately also run out quite often

and also unfortunately, one time when both fukuzawa & ranpo took a visit to Sakura’s, fukuzawa argued that “no you can’t live off sweets for the rest of your life”

ranpo was scandalized and scrambled to cover your ears

you guys were at it for a while

in the end you sided with fukuzawa causing ranpo to go off about “betrayal from the people he cared most abt” or smth like that

you guys were okay again after bribing him with sweets :)

for bakery supplies you usually have them delivered bc you order them in large quantities bc ahaha no way were you gonna carry like 15-20 50 pound bags of flour no way

when days like those happen, you close up the bakery early so you aren’t walking home when it’s too dark

you scheduled it to happen every first saturday of the month

on those saturdays, you close at 5 instead of at 8

currently, you were at the grocery store looking for basic cooking ingredients such as proteins, vegetables, fruits, and most importantly, snacks

ranpo’s been rubbing off on you

the sun was starting to set and you were walking home with your two bags of groceries when shit went down

tbh you were kinda expecting it cause your grocery run was peaceful for once

but what you weren’t expecting was a wack-a-do to appear out of goddamn nowhere right when you were opening the side door to get to the staircase up to your apartment

like honestly

let a woman do her own thing

the man who grabbed you tried to covered your mouth so you couldn’t scream but you didn’t exactly make it easy for him

you kicked and thrashed around even using the grocery bags—that were somehow still in your hand—as a weapon and the man struggled but he was still bigger than you and was able to bring you to a nearby alley

he reeked of alcohol and you spotted a wedding band on his left hand

not that you cared about the detail in the moment

you kicked him in the groin and in response he let you go only to fall on broken glass that was in the alley way

using the wall to help yourself up, you grabbed a nearby wooden stick and struck him right on his back

your attacker fell and you immediately turned on your heels to escape only to fall back down on the hard cold ground once again

you lift your face up and look back to see the man holding onto your ankle

grabbing a shard of glass—cutting yourself in the process— you begin to swing it at him only for him to easily grip your wrist and stop you

you get ready try and kick him in the groin again but you’re interrupted as your attacker gets sucker punched and flies to wall

you look up to see your savior and you’re blessed to see a beautiful woman, probably not that much older than you are—she’s probably around ranpo’s age— donning a white long sleeve button up, a matching black necktie, knee length skirt, and gloves, along with tights, red heels, and a pretty butterfly clip in her short black hair

but what you really notice is her eyes

ranpo’s eyes were pretty but you like hers just a bit more

you’ve always liked the color magenta

the pretty lady holds out her hand and you take it graciously and thank her as she helps you up

as that’s happening, your attacker gets himself onto his feet and his groan catches both of your attention

he struggles to stand and the pretty lady simples saunters over to him and delivers an uppercut knocking him out cold

you’re stunned and you breathe out a “thank you” making her turn towards you

she notices the condition you’re in

bleeding scrapes on your hands, arms and legs, small rips in your clothes like your tights, blouse, and skirt, and the ruffled state of your hair and clothing

she asks if you live nearby and you tell her that you own the bakery that’s one or two buildings away

when you tell her that, it clicks in her mind that you must be the bakery girl ranpo’s been talking about and the friend fukuzawa was cat sitting for

it’s been abt two weeks since ranpo and fukuzawa first met you and since then, they’ve seen lucky in the office plenty and the boxes of your signature sweets even more

if those two trust you, she has no reason not to

she smiles at you, holds out her hand for you to shake, and introduces herself as the doctor of the armed detective agency

your eyes widen and you smile back at her shaking her hand

“ah! you must be yosano-sensei then! ranpo-san and fukuzawa-san have talked about you! it’s so nice to meet you! im (l/n) (y/n)!”

“they’ve talked about you too, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you (y/n)”

after that exchange she insisted on bringing you home to treat you wounds which you told her it wasn’t necessary

she gave you a pointed look and that was when you realized what state you were in

you sighed and weakly gave in to which she only grinned at

before leaving the alley she walks over to the unconscious man and pulls out his wallet for some sort of identification and home address as you try to see if there’s any groceries still salvageable

after texting the details to kunikida, yosano turns to you poking around the now ruined grocery bags

she simply rubs your back and tells you that the both of you could go buy more groceries together as she was meaning to get some anyways; she even said she’ll pay for you

you refused obviously but she, unknowingly, used the same tactic fukuzawa used with you

“so you’re saying you don’t need groceries?”

“...”

*cue an eyebrow raise from our resident queen*

“...you agency members don’t like making things easy for me huh.”

you gave in reluctantly and at this point you don’t even know why you try negotiating with them

and that’s only three of them

apparently, she was on the other side of the street on the way to buy groceries for the agency when she noticed different produce items on the other sidewalk leading to the alley and she went to check out what happened

ironically, the way to the grocery store from the agency makes you go past Sakura’s but she didn’t realize it until after the two of you had met

before you know it, the two of you are in your apartment kitchen as she cleans and patches up all of your wounds

as she does so the two of you have a little girl talk

you find it quite comforting bc since you opened up Sakura’s you haven’t really had the chance to connect to many people much less other women

you definitely see yosano as your cool, loving, badass older sister

she thinks you’re adorable and agrees with ranpo’s opinion

yup 

that’s right

the opinion that you’re like a little kid </3

you called it a betrayal and all she did was laugh at you <//3

“awhh that’s really cool yosano-sensei!—MFPH?!?”

*squishing your cheeks the same way ranpo did* “ranpo-san was right (n/n)-chan, your cheeks are squishy!”

“?!”

after that small fiasco, the two of you talked some more and bonded over your love for flowers, japanese sweets, and much more!!

you even made a date to have a girls day to go shopping and eat out!

you’re internally squealing a bit bc it’s been a while since you’ve gone shopping

yosano notices and she giggles behind her hand not saying anything bc she knows you’ll only throw a fit

the two of you came around the topic of ranpo when lucky passed by

lucky quickly warmed up to the doctor and cozied up in her lap

“i wish ranpo-san was able to meet lucky when he came by the first time, but then again, he’d probably throw a tantrum if i don’t pay attention to him for 5 seconds”

she snorted at that and like fukuzawa, she shared stories abt the slightly older male

“ranpo-san doesn’t know how to ride a train?”

“unbelievable right?”

“for someone so intelligent i expected more from him”

“i’ll be telling that to ranpo-san, (n/n)-chan”

“wha—?! yosano-sensei please don’t!”

like ranpo, she’s also a tease </3

but you love her anyway <3

eventually, she finished patching you up and promised to treat you to a new set of clothes when the two of you go out

“you don’t need to lose a good set of clothes just because of a sleazy man (n/n)-chan! you deserve better!”

you were going to argue that the rips in your clothes were fairly small and could easily be fixed—except the tights—but you stopped in your tracks when you remembered that it was practically useless to argue against an ada member

the two of you walked to the grocery store and bought both of your needed supplies—along with some extra goodies—and then she walked you back to your place bc it was already a bit dark out

but even if it wasn’t, she would walk you anyways

besides, if anything happened to you, she’s 1000% positive that ranpo and fukuzawa are gonna flip the fuck out not that she wont cause she most definitely will

speaking of which

you were drinking a bottle of water as the two of made your way back to Sakura’s when all of a sudden

“(y/n) you do realize that i have to tell shachou and ranpo-san about what happened today right?”

you choked on your water

“yosano-sensei you can’t! if you do they’ll freak! they won’t leave me alone for at least two weeks! one if im lucky!”

“exactly the point”

you just accepted your defeat already knowing that you’d lose

but maybe you can simmer down their anger towards the bastard with sweets and lucky

you arrived at Sakura’s shortly after and after bringing groceries in, you packaged a bunch of pastries leftover from today—bc you closed early—and bc you’re well aware that ranpo doesn’t share any of the sweets you send him with

you even gave yosano her own special box filled with goodies she loves, and a thermos of fukuzawa’s favorite, your special hot honey lemon tea

other than the sweets, you prepared lucky to spend the night at fukuzawa’s

you really really hoped that doing these things would make them calm down

you shivered at the thought of what their responses would be

you felt really bad for giving yosano all these things to carry and that you were keeping her very late

she assured you that she was fine and that if someone tried to mess with her she’d kick their ass

and after exchanging numbers, the magenta eyed queen bid you a good night and walked back to the agency with lucky walking by her heels

arriving back at the agency, yosano was greeted with some concerns asking if she was alright bc she came back from her grocery run pretty late

(she usually goes in the mornings but today was pretty busy so she left in the late afternoon but now it was already dark)

she waved off the concerns and plopped a couple boxes of your signature bakery boxes at ranpo’s desk, the one for her at her own, the last few boxes in the kitchen for any other agent or clerk to grab, placed the thermos on the desk fukuzawa was by, and picked up lucky and handed him to the president

the two males were pleased with what yosano had brought them, and pleased that another agency member had the chance to meet you

fukuzawa was rubbing lucky and ranpo already snacking on treats as yosano expected

but here comes the hard part

or maybe it’s gonna amusing who knows

“i met (y/n) today.”

“we could tell.”

in goes another treat in the green eyed man’s mouth

“would you like to know how?”

“you bumped into each other, had girl talk, made plans to go out, went grocery shopping, and you brought me and shachou presents.”

“great job ranpo-san, you’re almost completely correct.”

this caught the attention of basically everyone bc they knew ranpo was never “almost completely correct”

“we ended up meeting bc she got attacked on her way home from grocery shopping, i treated her wounds, then we had girl talk and did all the other stuff”

ranpo and fukuzawa froze right in their tracks

“i sent all the info of the bastard to kunikida”

“kunikida.”

“yes shachou”

“find out everything about that man and bring it to me and ranpo”

“...yes shachou”

“and yosano”

“yes?”

“text (y/n) and tell her that her cat, tea, and pastries aren’t going to work as a bribe”

just as you finished taking a shower you sneezed

<<previous // next >>

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[charmandhex]

Part one.

Previous/part two.

When the Red Robe Lady -Lup- had said they needed to get everyone here before she’d explain what in the actual fuck was going on, Taako hadn’t had the slightest clue who everyone was. Since everyone had apparently included himself, Lup, and the Director, he’d been expecting some mysterious, powerful, highly capable group.

Instead he’s looking at Magnus, Merle, and Davenport.

Why exactly do you want to talk to these two chucklefucks and Davenport again? Lup hums, and it reverberates through Taako’s mind. Mm, soon. Patience is a virtue.

Says who?

Says me, the lich who had to be patient for ten fuckin’ years while waiting for you to break an umbrella, Taako.

Taako snorts. Okay, fine. Wait, actually one question. Not about this mess.

Uh, sure, okay?

If the anti-lich ward is down, why the FUCK are you still possessing me? Taako near yells, and Lup’s laughter fills his head.

I don’t wanna scare Mango, the old man, or Cap. Uh, I mean, Davenport.

Well, uh, I dunno about Davenport, but Maggie and Merle have definitely seen a Red Robe before.

I know; I was there.

Right.

Davenport, for his part, seems more aware than Taako has usually seen him. The gnome is currently eyeing Taako like he knows something isn’t quite right, like Taako isn’t really himself.

You gonna give me my body back soon or what?

As soon as I’m sure I won’t scare them. Lup says, sounding almost hesitant. And… as soon as I know you’re gonna… you’re gonna be okay given what’s happening next.

“Let me explain.” Lup says her next words out loud, and Magnus and Merle’s attention now snap to Taako.

“Taako? You good?” Magnus asks.

“Yeah, you know, you sound like you’ve got a cold or something.” Merle scratches at his beard, looking vaguely concerned.

Taako can’t really answer that, and Lup doesn’t bother. “Lucretia? If you’ll bring out the… well, the thing that I can’t say right now but that thing.” The Director stares at Taako, or at Lup, for a long, long moment before nodding slowly. She turns, opening the secret passage in her office again, before disappearing.

Naturally, that’s not the thing the other two Reclaimers give a shit about.

Merle asks, “Who’s Lucretia? Is that the Director?”

“Is this some kind of elf prank?” Magnus ponders for a moment before snapping his fingers. “Wait, no, the Director is human. Hm, regular prank?”

“Uh. Yes, Merle, and no, Magnus. Not really a prank situation. So, uh, I really don’t know how to say this, because I can’t say it and you can’t hear it right now either, but, uh, you remember how when you -uh, we- got here, we got inoculated from the voidfish and remembered basically a whole bunch of shit we’d forgotten.”

“Yeah?”

“Something like that.”

“Uh, L- T-Taako?” The Director comes back in, looking older and younger than Taako has even seen her look. In her hands is a small tank.

Don’t try to put it together. Lup pleads. You won’t be able to yet.

“I- I want you all to know.” The Director clears her throat. “I’m sorry, for what happened. I tried to do the right thing.”

There’s a vial of murky water in front of him. There’s a tank he can’t quite look at on the table. There’s the curling smoke of what is almost a thought just past the edge of realization.

Taako has been here before.

And again, he drinks the voidfish ichor.

The first memory to hit is one from childhood. Standing on his tiptoes, clinging to the edge of the counter, just barely able to see as his aunt carves a turkey for his birthday. Their birthday. Next to him, Lup wiggles in excitement before losing her balance, knocking into him, sending both twins falling to the floor laughing.

There’s more. Taako had never thought much of his childhood memories, assumed that time and distance had cast their inevitable veil over them, rendering the memories fuzzy at the edges. The veil is lifted, the picture resolves, and there’s a hand always, always in his.

Then it’s faster. The IPRE. The Light of Creation and the bond engine. The Starblaster and the mission. The Hunger and the apocalypse, cycling again and again still. Lup is always there.

And then she isn’t. She’d disappeared. She’d been -fuck, Lup had been in Wave Echo Cave, in the Umbra Staff the whole time, all those years. She’d been lost, but then he’d lost her altogether because of-

Taako makes to pull out the Umbra Staff, but of course that’s gone. His repaired wand is in the apartment at the bottom of the moon base. The Krebstar is… who knows where the Krebstar is.

Melee attack it is.

Taako, no!

Lup, get OUT!

In person, they might have been hissing in Elvish, even yelling, but now Taako is silent, the fighting all in his head. It’s not the first time the twins have fought, nor will it be the last, and nor is it even the first time they’ve fought while Lup has been possessing him. There’s a certain part of Taako that even wants to laugh in relief, because Lup is here to argue with, Lup is here. As it is, he’s locked in place, fighting with his sister to punch Madame Director with all of his +0 strength.

But even with the distraction of his own mind, Taako can see what’s happening around them. Davenport has his head lowered, clenched in his hands. Taako can’t see his eyes. Magnus looks like he’s been sucker-punched by the Power Bear. Merle is a whirlwind of emotion- pain, guilt, joy, fear, hope, hurt- that eventually lands on peace.

And Lucretia. Lucretia has one hand wrapped tightly around her staff, knuckles whiter than the Bulwark Staff itself, hands older than Taako had seen them in a century, cast into stark relief from the soft light of the baby voidfish glowing in the tank next to her.

But the quiet that followed inoculation is not peace, and all at once, the storm erupts.

“Lucretia, what have you done?”

“What happened?”

“Why would you do this?”

“Why did you do this?”

“You had the Bulwark Staff this whole time?”

“What have you done with the other Relics?”

“Does anyone else know?”

“Where’s Barry?”

“We saw Barry! Why did you lie to us about Barry?”

“Yeah, where’s- wait. Wait.”

Magnus, Merle, and Davenport put a momentary halt to their rapid-fire questions to stare at Taako. Before they can say anything, Lup lets go, rising, her red-robed lich form appearing next to Taako. Now that he knows who this is, he can again see his sister even in the lich, in the flare of magic and flicker of fire woven into her form. How could he have forgotten?

“Hey, everyone. Uh… miss me?”

As the three begin to bombard Lup with questions, Taako turns to Lucretia for the first time.

“You took everything from me.” He hisses, hands clenched into fists.

“I had to make it right.”

“Sure had a funny fuckin’ way of going about that. Gee, Taako, Cap’n’port, Barold, Mags, Merle, Lup, let me ruin your lives and call that fixing everything.”

“Taako, I- it’s not that simple, and-”

“Oh I’m pretty sure it is.”

“It was destroying the world; it was destroying us.”

“Enough.” Davenport’s voice, the voice of a captain who’d guided his crew and his ship through a century of storm, cracks through this one with ease. Taako scowls before putting as much distance between himself and Lucretia as he can. And putting himself as close to Lup as he can. He’s not losing her again. “Lup? This is your doing?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is, Cap’n’port. Well. This was kind of part one. Step two is find Barry.”

“Well, we know he’s dead!”

“Yeah, that’ll make him easier to find.”

Lup laughs. “Thanks, Magnus, Merle. But once we find Barry… then we need a real family meeting.”

[kanasmusings]

[Translation] VAZZROCK bi-color Series Vol. 11 - hematite - Drama Track 2

More Gaku and Ruka, more Gaku and Ruka~ I am such a sucker for childhood friend pairs and I feel like I’m gonna cry now because these two are so pure. So supportive, so soft, so loving. T_T 

Thank you again to Deea for the files~! Please don’t ask her for them as per her request, thank you!

※ Please don’t re-post any of these English translations without permission. Instead of reposting, please just like/reblog instead ^^

Under the cut, enjoy~!

Track 2: [予言者の騙し討ち] “The Prophet’s Sneaky Plan”

[0:00]        

  GAKU: I’m gonna start pushing.

RUKA: I can still go on so keep pushing more.

GAKU: Woah!

RUKA: I can still go on.

GAKU: Ruu, you’re really flexible, huh? Do you still have bones?

RUKA: I do, I do! I have bones.

RUKA: (sighs) Stretching feels so good, doesn’t it~? Gakkun, want me to help you?

GAKU: No, I’m fine. Unlike you, I have bones.

RUKA: (chuckles) We’re the same! Probably.

GAKU: (stretches) This should be fine. I’m gonna go do leg presses now. What about you, Ruu?

RUKA: Where’s that?

GAKU: Over there. It’s the equipment that strengthens the lower body.

RUKA: Hm-hm~ Then I’ll do the same~ We can talk while we’re there anyway.

GAKU: Got it.

(they walk over to the equipment)

GAKU: Oh, do you know how to use it?

RUKA: It’s fine~ I’ve used it before. I just didn’t know its name.

(they start training)

GAKU: So, who did you end up playing with this noon?

RUKA: Um… I got Haru-kun to play with me.

GAKU: Ah, that’s good.

GAKU: Was it Haruto’s day-off?

RUKA: Yep, we went out to eat. We saw Sho-kun lazing around in a park so we happily went with him, too.

GAKU: Sho’s very energetic despite how he looks. He still does recitals while working as a talent.

RUKA: Yeah. He’s amazing, huh~

(Ruka struggling with the equipment)

GAKU: Ah, Ruu, don’t push yourself too hard.

RUKA: (struggling) I can still go on…!

RUKA: (struggling) Until I can surpass my own limits…!

RUKA: Alright! Did I do it~?

GAKU: (laughs) You passed your limits quite fast.

RUKA: If I really did it, my muscles will become so sore tomorrow.

RUKA: Can you still go on, Gakkun?

GAKU: Let me see… Yeah, I guess.

(Gaku and Ruka drink)

RUKA: Gakkun’s liked to move around since then but did you always like exercise?

GAKU: Nah, I only started doing weights when we began with the VAZZROCK project.

RUKA: Is it difficult? Well, I guess with all the activities like dancing and singing all over the place, it is, huh?

GAKU: I guess I’m training so that it won’t be so difficult.

GAKU: If you take a good look at it, I seem to be the only who can’t do much, you know?

GAKU: I can at least train myself to be able to keep up and not be a hindrance to everyone else.

RUKA: Woah~! As expected from Gakkun! So cool and stoic~!

GAKU: You’re the one who dragged me into this world.

RUKA: That may be so but, the Gakkun standing here right now as a member of ROCK DOWN is from your own choice, isn’t it?

GAKU: Pretty much.

RUKA: Though, me predicting that Gakkun would do well here makes me a prodigy~!

GAKU: (laughs) So, making predictions makes you a prodigy now? Then, what if you predicted more?

RUKA: Eh? Wait, time-out! What’s better than a prodigy… What’s better…?

GAKU: Genius?

RUKA: That’s it! My genius is very frightening!

GAKU: (laughs) That’s so like you!

RUKA: Right?! Gakkun’s cool and strong so you’d do well as a model, right?

RUKA: But, I realized your potential for acting, too! Aren’t I super amazing~?

GAKU: You are, you are. (chuckles)

GAKU: I have to make good use of the possibility you predicted, huh?

RUKA: Hehehe~ Gakkun, do you remember? The first time you participated as an extra?

RUKA: I still enjoy it every time I remember it.

GAKU: As if I could ever forget. I was just supposed to be an extra who would be running around but I ended up playing one who got into a fight.

[04:49]

  (flashback starts)

RUKA: Gakkun, over here! It looks like filming will begin soon so wait a bit here.

(Ruka runs off)

GAKU: Ah, hey…! Ruu!

RUKA: I’ll be back soon!

GAKU: Even if you say that… Is it okay for me to really stay here?

GAKU: Well, never mind. If someone asks, I’ll just explain what happened.

GAKU: Woah… So filming uses sets, huh? I always thought that if it’s a school scene, it’d be shot inside a school or something…

RUKA: (to the director) Can you see? The guy standing over there is my friend. Isn’t he so cool?!

RUKA: (to the director) He’s got great style, very awesome, and he’s got great athletic skills! Oh, and a lot of stamina, too!

RUKA: (to the director) Director, didn’t you say that you’d want to shoot an intense scene?

RUKA: (to the director) Why don’t you try using him a little, pleaseeee??

RUKA: (to the director) I really recommend him!

RUKA: (to the director) Ah… He hasn’t acted before but I’m sure that he’ll do great!

GAKU: I wonder what Ruu’s saying?

RUKA: (to the director) Can’t you please try just once? If you still say no after that then, I’ll give it up!

RUKA: (to the director) Please! Believe in me and give him a chance.

GAKU: He’s even bowing… I guess even if it’s for an extra, they won’t hire some amateur…

RUKA: (to the director) Really? Thank you! I promise you, I won’t disappoint! Please look forward to it!

(Ruka runs back to Gaku)

RUKA: Gakkun, I got an ‘okay!’

GAKU: I said I’d be fine even if it didn’t work. You didn’t have to beg that much, you know?

RUKA: No, no, no! I want to appear together with Gakkun!

RUKA: So, about the role…

GAKU: Ah, you’ll be in a fight, won’t you? I’m part of the people who’ll run away when the fight starts, right?

GAKU: How fast should I run?

RUKA: Ah, forget that.

GAKU: Eh?

RUKA: Forget all about that. The role’s completely changed.

GAKU: Forget about… What do you mean?

RUKA: You and I will begin fighting~

GAKU: So, the role changed to me in a fight?

RUKA: Ding-dong~ As expected from Gakkun! You catch on quick.

RUKA: Gakkun and I are students in a school about to shut down so, the protagonist will be getting in a fight.

RUKA: So yeah, we fight until the director says cut!

GAKU: You… You were aiming for that from the beginning, weren’t you?

RUKA: Ah, was I found out~?

GAKU: No wonder the other students were wearing a different uniform…

RUKA: It suits you well~

GAKU: Hmph.

RUKA: Ow…! Gakkun, hitting my forehead is so mean…

GAKU: I held back, you know? On hurting you, I mean.

GAKU: Geez… I can’t fail now that it’s been decided.

GAKU: (with a stern voice) Hey, Ruu, don’t just stand around there. Give it your all.

RUKA: Okay~

(flashback ends)

[08:10]

  RUKA: That was so fun~! To think we’d get a huge okay in one go! There were no NG scenes!

RUKA: Just as I predicted~

GAKU: (laughs) You say that so lightly.

GAKU: I was so nervous deep inside though.

RUKA: EH?! Is that so? I thought you were pretty serious though!

RUKA: I was the one who was nervous when I thought you’d deliver a real punch.

GAKU: (laughs) Even if it was real, you’d have dodged it.

GAKU: It’s because you knew that it went well. It would’ve been impossible if it was another person.

RUKA: Ah~ I see… It’s because it’s me, huh… (chuckles)

RUKA: Gakkun, did you have fun~?

GAKU: Well, it was more like I was being desperate to do well.

RUKA: Awww…

GAKU: But, I did have that strange feeling that I wasn’t being exactly like myself. Like, I was a different person, like I was a real delinquent, you know?

GAKU: That time, I went to a lot of your plays, didn’t I?

RUKA: Yeah.

GAKU: Seeing you immerse yourself in your roles felt strange to me..

GAKU: It made me think, “Is that really the Ruu that I know?” and “I wonder how Ruu feels when he’s acting,” and stuff like that.

GAKU: But, after I became an extra, I felt like I could understand.

GAKU: That wasn’t Ruu’s feelings. Though you put your soul into it, it’s the role’s feelings that I felt.

GAKU: That actor brought the role to life with the lines… (chuckles) or something like that.

GAKU: I guess this is only some nonsense things I can say as a beginner.

GAKU: What I could grasp was still only in pieces.

RUKA: No… Nope~! It’s totally not nonsense at all! It’s the same with me!

RUKA: I’m still a beginner! There are still a lot of fragments I can gather, and until the day I can brightly express what a role is, let’s continue to do our best!

RUKA: (chuckles) I’m so happy that Gakkun feels the same! Though, I’ve always had that kind of feeling~

GAKU: (laughs) You stupid prophet.

GAKU: (sighs)

RUKA: Oh! Is training over?

GAKU: Yeah, I always end my training menu like this.

GAKU: Ruu, you still have stamina, don’t you?

RUKA: I do but… Wanna go to the treadmill with me?

GAKU: Heh, let’s do something more interesting. Come on.

RUKA: Okay~

RUKA: Wait, where?! Wait, Gakkun!

(Ruka runs after him)

  ==END==

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission.

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[ixcaliber]

I Will Rate Every Stand In Part 5

Gold Experience - not a bad stand for a protagonist, pretty versatile, looks are okay, giorno has plenty of opportunities to use it in weird and creative ways to overcome obstacles. a pretty solid stand 7 out of 10

Sticky Fingers - first up i’m a sucker for the hidden eyes look so this stand gets extra points right from the get go, the zips thing is pretty cool and sometimes buccelati does the ora ora thing with ari ari arrivederci when he hits people 8 out of 10

Black Sabbath - okay so black sabbath looks seriously cool it has the whole venetian garb look going for it and the arrow motif i’m already on board when it comes to this stand but then for bonus points its a remote stand that operates in a cool and interesting way (attacking everyone who sees polpo’s lighter get extinguished and using the arrow to do so to create new stand users for the mob) and god i’m super on board except i do have a couple of niggling questions. Like how did the stand arrow become part of polpo’s stand, why didn’t the requiem stuff happens when in the fight black sabbath stabs gold experience with the arrow? i’m not gonna get too bogged down in inconsistencies and shit that doesn’t make 100% sense though because this is jojo after all. ultimately black sabbath is a real good stand. 9 out of 10

Moody Blues - moody blues looks real cool and also while maybe not the best fighting stand imagine how powerful a stand is that can play back any action anyone has taken so long as it has access to the place where it happened and knows when it happened. it’d be virtually impossible to keep anything secret from this stand and i love it. also the part where it flies the plane by replicating the actions of a pilot. it’s really cool and underutilized maybe. 8 out of 10

Soft Machine - it put a boat in another boat and i still don’t understand the logistics of this 4 out of 10

Sex Pistols - while i like standard stand design i really really like stands that don’t adhere to that and this stand is bullets and its really good. they’re kind of adorable sometimes and its just a shame that shooting people is pretty useless in jojo 6 out of 10

Kraftwerk - dont like its teeth i’d be so much more enthused about this stand if it didn’t have this awful fixed grin (though maybe thats the point given its ability) its ability is cool so i can be too mad at it though 5 out of 10

Aerosmith - remember when i said i was a big fan of stands that don’t look like the standard... Aerosmith great its just again kind of a shame that its ability isn’t the most engaging you know... 6 out of 10

Little Feet - shrinks its enemies it’s dull and plain looking 1 out of 10

Purple Haze - the stand too powerful to ever actually do anything throughout the entirety of part 5. it looks cool enough the only problem with this stand is that it’s a protagonist stand instead of an antagonist stand. i really kind of feel like after buccelati et all broke off from the mob and fugo remained loyal they should have done more with that. fugo being actually loyal and seeing his friends as betraying him and then actually going after them, that’d have been a cool story imo. purple haze is kind of too powerful though so um 5 out of 10 could have been cool but wasn’t

Man In The Mirror - this stand has like a mask thing going on which is in its favour but at the same time its like a mirror world thing and its kind of... whatever i’ll give it a 7 out of 10 for that mask alone

Mr President - apparently the name of the turtle room stand. it’s pretty cool even though i don’t understand why a turtle has an alcove for a key and how that whole arrangement came to exist. is the key the stand and the turtle the user? are they part of a whole? was this turtle just born with a key in its back or born with this indent and then once someone found the matching key its stand was unlocked? so many questions. one thing is for sure this turtle is a precious friend lets say a 5 out of 10 for being more functional than interesting

The Grateful Dead - lots of eyes... kind of unpleasant to look at... the aging thing is pretty cool though... 5 out of 10, it might have got more but somehow it fails to be as outright alarming as 

Beach Boy - any scene where Beach Boy is moving up beneath someone’s flesh is the most viscerally unpleasant. i kind of can’t believe that a stand that’s just a fishing rod is as much of a nightmare as it is but holy shit. 8 out of 10 is a score thats supposed to reflect that its a very effective stand at what it sets out to do even if i am not exactly super fond of it

Baby Face - the first thing this stand does is rape a woman so she can give birth to a specially designed bucellati hunting stand... this is a bad bad stand. 0 out of 10

White Album - white album has powers to make things cold... which is... okay i guess i mean i’d certainly take that over punching stands that just punch real hard. it does get points for being a stand that someone can wear and having cool ice skate feet though. 6 out of 10

King Crimson - haha god i’ve got no fucking idea ?? out of 10

Clash - i do like the non-humanoid stands so i’m already down with this i um forgot what this stand can actually do though.... oh okay just the teleportation between liquids, i um kind of expected it to have something more than that given that it needs that much to be even just able to get around. its okay you know but not what i might have envisaged for something based on The Clash. 6 out of 10

Talking Head - looking back i seem to either be saying ‘i like the design but the power isn’t interesting’ or ‘i like the power but the design is bad’ and this is the latter of the two. it’s pretty fun and is used real well though lets say 7 out of 10

Notorious B.I.G. - Notorious BIG is great i love this unkillable stand, the only stand that actually survives because they’re just like ‘nope there’s nothing we can actually really do about this lets just get it the frick away from us’. its design is great its concept is great. i mean i do have to wonder what the heck its deal was before its user died i mean this is not a useful stand to have at all. that guy must have been real dedicated to the mob you know. 10 out of 10 love this stand so much

Spice Girl - mostly just mad araki didn’t really give trish the actual opportunity to fight anyone or really use her abilities. there’s also no real need for spice girl to have breasts. wasn’t a major fan of how spice girl seemed to be sort of an independent intelligence and essentially i just want trish to be given more and to be treated better. kind of shitty that the one fight they actually give her is one thats unwinnable by design she doesn’t get to kill anything. maybe also not great that they give her a stand thats focused on softness i mean feminine stereotyping you know... that said spice girl is okay and the power is interesting and it’d have been nice to see it more fully utilized 6 out of 10

Metallica - the little metal beings that live inside the guys body i umm i ummmmm some of them are kind of cute somehow but seriously this stand kind of made me uncomfortable for most of its existence. oh oh and i forgot that metallica has the ability to turn an enemies blood into razor blades and shit i um nope no no thanks 5 out of 10 points being awarded for kind of cuteness and the power is pretty creative but i still hate it

Green Day - looks too human like to be really endearing to me... but has an interesting power and is well utilized and gets to do the thing where the user dismembers himself and uses green day’s ability to control each limb independently its fucking wild 7 out of 10 sure why not

Oasis - my experience may be biased given this is where i ran out of good translations and the fight just became incomprehensible. Oasis seems like a sub optimal name for a stand that can dive deep into the ground... and the design is kinda meh. the power is... okay i mean i guess this predates the awful senor pink from one piece but i did see that first and he left a bad taste and the guy who uses Oasis is pretty trash also... lets be generous and say 4 out of 10

Silver Chariot Requiem - requiem stands are duuumb. if you’re gonna add like another layer of power to a stand make it at least like an extension of the power of that stand. Silver Chariot’s power was like what...? well it was a part 3 stand i think it was just that it could slice things with a sword and was pretty fast things were much simpler and sometimes less interesting back in part 3 but requiem silver chariot has 1) make everyone in the entire city of rome go to sleep 2) bodyswap everyone in the entire city of rome 3) i think i remember that like it was trying to bring mankind towards its next stage of evolution or something who even fucking knows and 4) turns your own stand attacks against you powers. this stand makes no sense as a bumped up version of silver chariot i hate it 0 out of 10

Gold Experience Requiem - guess what other stand makes no sense as a souped up version of the original yep its this one. Gold Experience’s power is just the opposite of whatever King Crimson’s power is because we just need to be able to beat King Crimson and get the part over with already. 0 out of 10

Rolling Stones - i scream please just end already at the manga but it does not listen instead i have to read this chapter designed to explain why Buccelati didn’t be the dead for such a long length of time, or I assume as much. yeah also there’s a part in this where its like ‘oh this girl touched the stand and realized she was going to have a painful death from an illness so just was like well i guess i’ll go and commit suicide right now then this seems like the logical course of action’ i didn’t enjoy this stand 0 out of 10

in summary i enjoyed part 5 i just felt that the end was super disappointing and trish deserved better