#me being convinced i was an alien for a lot of my childhood not like a play thing

[valandherweekofwonders]

i'm not an alien i'm just autistic.... that will be replaying in my head for the rest of the week

[meowmeowriley]

Have a list of everything I've got on AO3! (And a few things I don't yet)

Current WIPS on AO3

Little Meow Meow - Emo catboy!Ghost can't die. Let's rewrite the games!

Poké-Pandemonium - Pokémon, COD, and secretsssssss. I've worked hard to make this fic welcoming to Pokémon fans and non-Pokémon fans alike ❤

More Than Just Loose Ends - after 09 Ghost dies he wakes up again, as an ethereal being that only 22 Ghost can see. Can we call him a guardian angel if he's actually a bloodthirsty psychopath?

Oh, Brother - An outsider POV of Ghost and Soap getting together, told through the eyes of their siblings. Now a series!

I Don't Think We're in Space Anymore - An alien crash lands in Mexico, and Price and Laswell decide to give it a mask and a gun. That alien is Ghost.

Was tHat thE BiTe oF 22 - FNAF, but with COD characters. Lot's of child death, but like it's fine, they possess the animatronics! They're totally fine.

Be Kind, Rewind - Ghost gets de-aged. He's still Ghost. In theory, this could be greatness! A soldier with his experience in a younger, more virile body. He's now young, not really dumb, and full of cum! (Provided he can convince Soap to sleep with him, that is.)

Current WIPS confined to my notes app

Duo Fatui - An Unus Annus tribute. Soap is Unus, Ghost is Annus. Rewriting my favorite episodes/moments with the boys in place of Mark and Ethan.

Is That Gonna be a Problem? - Simon met Johnny and Jenny, twins, as a kid. On leave in Glasgow, he reconnects with his childhood friends. Post Roba, Pre 141

Cohabitation - Simon Riley died and came back. Twice. His corpse was resurrected as a zombie, and his spirit remains as a ghost that possesses said corpse. Ghost!Ghost and Zombie!Ghost, and the 141 finding out about their odd situation.

Lost a Bet - Ghost lost a bet with Gaz, and Gaz gets to design Ghost's next mask. Ghost now has to wear the cat themed mask for a month. During that time he bonds with the stray cats around base.

Outlaw Outta Time - a COD and RDR2 crossover. The boys accidentally go back in time while looking for Graves, and get tangled up in the Van der Lind gang's shenanigans. A fix it for Arthur (side ships include Ale/Rudy and Arthur/Albert Mason)

??? - Unnamed fic about trans!Ghost dropping hints that he's trans, and Soap who thought he was straight having the most confusing crush on his lieutenant. They fuck about it.

??? - Unnamed fic about a rescue mission to save Elizabeth. Johnny thinks she's Ghost's girlfriend, she is not. She's his dog. Ghost is aware of the miscommunication, and does absolutely nothing to correct it, because it's funny.

??? - Unnamed fic about Ghost and Soap getting sucked into our world a la Supernatural's The French Mistake. They have to pretend to be Samuel and Neil until they figure out how to get home.

I also have a collection of completed One-shots! MMR's One-Shots

I'm desperate for interaction! Did a fic catch your eye? Have questions, comments, or concerns? Is there something you'd like me to write? Talk to meeeeeeeeee!!!!!

[fabbyf1]

This week has been… a week, besties. And it's only Monday.

**personal life rant under the cut that has nothing to do with f1 or fanfiction**

I’ve been no-contact with my mother for 2 years, and she randomly and unwelcomely texted me on Sunday. 

And it just… never gets easier. 

It never gets less triggering. 

My mother has a serious mental illness (Munchausen syndrome) and is a pathological liar. On top of that, she’s just… an overall shitty human being. She traumatized me and my brother throughout our childhood, teenage years, and early adulthood before we realized all of her illnesses were fake. She has told lies on lies on lies to get attention and sympathy from everyone around. Everything out of her mouth is a lie, no matter how big or small. If you asked her what color the sky was, she’d tell you it was green, and when you told her that wasn’t true, she’d have a public meltdown about it. 

In the end, for me, it was pretty easy to go no contact with her. I’m a full-grown adult who lives in a different state, has no ties to her, no financial connections to her, and no legal obligations to her. But that’s not always the case for everyone. And even with all these factors, it still wasn’t a decision I made overnight. It took years of heartache to convince myself that enough was enough and that she wasn’t allowed to speak to me anymore. 

(Something that she broke on Sunday.)

The point of me telling you this is that if you also have a toxic relationship with one or both of your parents, you are not alone. It can be a very alienating feeling, especially if everyone else in your life is still in contact with their parents or makes you feel like you're in the wrong for not wanting to have a relationship with yours. 

But I can promise you that you’re not alone. There are tons of people out here (probably in this little community of ours!) who get what you’re going through. And if nobody else gets it, I get it, bestie. And listen to me when I tell you… don’t let it break you. It’s okay to take care of yourself, and put yourself first, and to prioritize your mental health. You do not owe anybody anything. Even if they birthed you. Even if they raised you for all or part of your childhood. Even if they are blood-related to you. Even if they clothed you, and fed you, and housed you for years. (Because that. was. their. job. They chose to have a child or be financially responsible for a child. You did not choose to be born into that family, or adopted into that family, or taken in by that family. You are innocent in this situation.)  

I know a lot of my followers are younger than I am, and as such, I feel responsible for telling you it will be okay. It might never ever get easier, and you might still get triggered about it even when you’re 33 and vibing, but it won’t break you. You are stronger than your toxic fucking parents. You’re stronger than your toxic home life. You can get out. You can be free. No matter how long it takes. 

Be smart. Be safe. Put yourself first when it is safe to do so. 

There are tons of free resources all over the globe if you’re feeling like it’s too much to handle on your own. If you can’t find one, dm me and I will help you find one. 

I promise you it will be okay. 

And, as always, stay hydrated. Water helps everything. 

[thirteens-earring]

Jane Schoenbrun, from Episode 174 of the Gender Reveal podcast (episode) (episode transcript)

[ Tuck: Yeah. And somehow that brings me to Limp Bizkit. Because I think it’s so funny that you created this incredible soundtrack with like every iconic girlie, and then in the movie itself you know Sloppy Jane’s in the movie, King Woman’s in the movie, Lindsey from Snail Mail is acting in the movie, and then…Fred Durst is there. [Jane laughs.] Can you talk about why you wanted to work with him specifically, and what that experience was like of bringing him into the movie?

Jane: Yeah. So the first thing to say is that when I was 12, I loved Limp Bizkit, because it was 1999, and I was vaguely pissed off at a thing that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, right? And I think that nu metal thing was very appealing to me, in that — Limp Bizkit less, but a band like Korn or Slipknot — Slipknot is donning masks, and actively appropriating just the sort of iconography of the horror movie and grotesquerie to describe their internal feelings. And Korn is talking about how they’re a “Freak on a Leash.” And it’s this pre-Columbine, right before Columbine moment where I don’t think culturally we had like zeroed in on that necessarily (or at least I hadn’t at 12 years old) as a symptom of this growing nascent white male anger. It felt more like they were carrying the torch of the weirdo; I think that was sort of the appeal of a lot of that nu metal music when it first came out, was like I’m a “Freak on a Leash.” I think Limp Bizkit was a little different, because they certainly cast themselves as the underdog, but they didn’t necessarily cast themselves as “a freak,” you know? It was more of a pissed off, like Kid Rock style — I’m young, I’m white, I’m angry, have sex with me. [Tuck and Jane laugh] But I didn’t understand all of that, and I was 12 in the suburbs, and that was what a lot of money was being spent to convince me to buy, and I bought it, and I loved it, and I had that Family Values ’99 tour tape cassette, and I listened to it. And when I got bar mitzvahed, my bar mitzvah gift was a CD case — remember those little things you would keep in your car to keep CDs in?

Tuck: Yeah, definitely.

Jane: We got custom “Jane’s Bar Mitzvah” CD booklets [Tuck laughs], and it had Limp Bizkit drawings on the cover. So if you have one of those, that’s a collectors item now. [Tuck and Jane laugh]

Tuck: That rules.

Jane: After I wrote TV Glow, and just spending a lot of time unpacking my childhood and my adolescence in the suburbs and just feelings of alienation, I had written this character — hardly a character, more like this spectre of the anger of a dad who looks at you in the way that I have experienced, where it’s like…are you looking at me as your child, or are you looking at me as a person who has robbed you of your child? And this is very much a trans horror. I got notes early on like “let’s flesh out this dad, where does that come from?” And I was like “no actually, I don’t really care about that.” This is a movie about that gaze and that disapproval, and the way something as innocuous as saying, like, “isn’t that TV show you love and are finding refuge in for girls?” can steal decades of your life from you, because of the shame and fear that it ingrains in you. And so the question then became: who is glaring at us? And it wasn’t just like “oh Fred, get on a casting call and do your best glare.” It was that it means something to see Fred Durst glare at you. Fred is a fascinating and wonderful and generous person. I took Dave McCary (my executive producer) to see Limp Bizkit with me at Madison Square Garden as we were prepping, and as I was basically like “please let me cast Fred Durst as Owen’s dad.” And we walk onto the floor of Madison Square Garden, and it’s like…white militia is the audience, I’d say. [Tuck laughs]

Tuck: Totally.

Jane: It’s a lot of, like, ex-Marine energy in the house, and a lot of the energy that was being cultivated at that show was, let’s say, riling up the audience in the way that you would at a wrestling match. There was such anger and aggression being let out — just people who were riled up getting their rocks off, or whatever. But it was also so homoerotic, and not even subtly homoerotic. Like people…the guy in front of me just kept screaming at Fred Durst on stage “I want to suck your dick!” [Tuck laughs] Yeah, I mean…good admission; [Tuck and Jane laugh] follow that impulse wherever it leads you…

Tuck: Totally.

Jane: …and get whatever you need to get out of your system — there’s a way. At one point early in the show, Dave turns to me and goes “do you ever feel, like, unsafe in public?” [Tuck and Jane laugh] And I was like…oh — this is how you teach cis people what it means to be trans, you take them to the Limp Bizkit show, and you have them stand next to the trans person. And I’m like “yes Dave, actually…and a lot more recently since my transition.” [Tuck and Jane laugh]

Tuck: OK — and what about this was like…I gotta get this man in my movie?

Jane: So then what happens…Dave is like, “you can stay if you want, but I’m actually gonna go before they play ‘Break Stuff.’” And we ran out of Madison Square Garden, and on the street Dave is like “do you still want to cast Fred Durst?” And I was like “yeah, more than ever!”

Tuck: Incredible.

Jane: And then I got on the phone with him a couple days later, and we were talking about French films within three or four minutes. He’s a gentle soul behind the scenes, with a great understanding of film and art. He’s a showman, and it happens to be that the audience that will come to his things at this point tend to be the kind of people who wanna scream that they want to suck his dick, in an arena that feels like it’s about to turn into a riot. I’m interested in the film being this intertextual thing of: what does it mean to see Fred Durst in this particular movie about this particular thing, and how does that spectre bloom both in our collective memories but still in the present tense? Which isn’t to say that it’s about Fred himself; it’s more about this white male rage that I found something in when I was 12 years old, but that has also been brewing and metastasizing since then in ways that I am very disturbed by. ]

[mountainsandmayhem]

Questions Tag Game!

Thanks to my sweet little bb’s @strang3lov3 @alltheirdamn and @aurorawritestoescape for tagging me.

••

do you make your own bed? I never used to but since moving in with my partner I do because he does.

favorite number? I don’t think I have one but I wanna use the classic joke of saying it’s 69.

what's your job? I am a senior manager for a landscape supply company. I’m in charge of 2 branches and like 30 people. It’s very stressful in the summer and very boring in the winter.

if you could go back to school, would you? If I was living in an AU I’d probably go back for like special effects make up.

can you parallel park? I could in the tiny little car I used to drive but I wouldn’t attempt it in my suv

do you think aliens are real? Probably. It’s a big universe. There’s gotta be more than just us here.

what's your guilty pleasure? Nothing, I’m loud and proud about the things I like. Anyone watching secret lives of Mormon wives? lol

any phobias? I’m scared of everything haha I’m basically a chihuahua. Eight legged creatures, the dark, enclosed spaces. Basically, I’m really fun at Halloween haha.

favourite childhood sport? I danced for a few years but I had really bad asthma as a child and they didn’t have much knowledge about what to do and not to do in the 80’s over it. Like I was in the hospital A LOT. So I was told not to do any sort of running for most of my life. I played piano and the flute instead of sports.

do you talk to yourself? All the time. I’m my own best friend and I’m the funniest person I know.

Tattoos? I have 6. Funny story, my grandpa passed away recently (that’s not the funny part) and he would always have martini time and would say “Skål” since he was born and raised in Denmark and that’s basically saying cheers. Anyway, I got a little martini glass with the word Skål below it. Now my cousins want to get just the word but they’re convinced I have spelled it wrong and it’s Skol so they’re all planning to get a non word tattooed on them. Like I confirmed the spelling with extended family in Denmark. Anyhoo. That’s what they get for being copy cats haha.

favourite colour? Black, but I also love a deep emerald green.

do you like puzzles? I haven’t done a jigsaw puzzle in years but I enjoy a sudoku and I’m embarrassed to say I still do the wordle almost every day (and a few other games on the nyt’s site)

••

I’m sure lots of you have already been tagged but:

@mermaidgirl30 @joelslegalwhre @fhatbhabiee @80ssong @yorksgirl

💖💖💖💖

[twojamie-o-clock]

If I could count the stories where Jamie is endangered or affected somehow by aliens in mockery of his intelligence. Well. There’s too many, so I won’t. Every time I encounter one (the dominators, the edge cc, etc.) I think to myself “I should write a fic exploring how he feels about this” because with Polly & Ben, we know he felt isolated from them (described in the Roundheads book anyways) and with Victoria of course they click better because she’s just as lost as him, but there’s still some struggle because she’s literate. When they finally meet Zoe it’s the worst because she’s on par with the Doctor (as much as one can be) in terms of being “book smart” or whatever you wanna call it, and (Albeit affectionately) the one most open to teasing Jamie. But there’s just too many instances to write a fic for all of them (though, I’m sure nobody would complain if we all did) and that just kind of made me sit back for a moment.

Idk hearing Jamie get mocked for intelligence is always a punch to the gut because I’m sure there are fellow fans like me who are insanely insecure about intelligence, and while Jamie might play along with it sometimes, we see in published media from his point of view (although I’m not convinced BBC books is anything more than published fanfiction, which is real) that it bothers him a lot. And I’ve read enough fics about him confronting this to make my vision blur. Of course his situation of coming from 18th c. wartime with no futuristic (to us) childhood that Zoe had Is what makes up this topic, so I’m not gonna call that card, but seeing characters in media getting bullied for intelligence always hits a little harder, if that makes sense? I love the audio dramas for giving us more insight on his perspective, and also showing that he is intelligent in a different way than Zoe for obvious reasons - that he saves them countless times through this, that he understands different situations better etc but it’s also half the time just belittling his intelligence and. Ouch. You know?

What are your guys’ thoughts on this because I’m speaking personally as someone who is very insecure about their own intelligence (this is probably more reinforced through a zoe-type of setting with academic standards rather than like situational adaptability that we might compare other intelligence to?? Because obviously my standards are set by formal education & art skills, not outwitting cybermen) 😭💀

Anyways. Yeah. Lmk.

[lumiidragon]

I'd love to hear your head canons about Dib or Zim - how do you envision their futures?

-lounges back on my computer chair like some terrible evil villain or something-

Ok, so I'm gonna be the SUPER oddball out, but here's basically an AU my spouse and I have for the Dib and Zim future.

Dib is Zim's dad now. As Dib grew older, he realized that he's annoyingly attached to this horrible green turtle-bug and exposing him the old fashion way just isn't gonna run anymore. However, he can't let Satan's hamster run around on his own, so he devised a plan: Adopt the terrible toddler and just keep an eye on him more personally.

Dib gets into Science and even works with his dad, but he's a paranormal investigator on the side (the "real science" is just the bill-payer with the latter for soothing the soul). Due to Dib's surprising logical planning for his future, he's got money to throw and gets himself a pretty sweet deal of a house. Now it's time to get his, hopefully potty-trained child-monster.

So he tricks Zim: "Hey Zim, look at how all the kids at school have changed and grown up while you stay small and child-looking. Oh wow, people are sure gonna start getting suspicious. You're still 4-foot-a-bitch, living with your never-aging parents, and your dog should be decrepit by now. Hey, I got an idea. Live with me under the guise that you're my son and we'll just keep this little charade going, eh?"

-logically thinking alien noise and a lot of convincing later once he realizes how quickly the world is changing around the slow-aging irken- "Sure, you horrible mortgage-paying clown, I will accept these terms so I may be closer to destroying you and using you for my own evil Earth-controlling deeds! -classic Zim laugh-

Now that they're playing this father/son thing, Dib keeps Zim on a leash pretending that he's still doing his job (that is long overdue to be completed frankly and the Tallests really couldn't be bothered to care and have changed their number countless times but the little radioactive roach still gets it somehow), and Zim gets to play 'I Am Indeed An Invader' while also getting to live a human childhood over again.

Dib's grown fond of his broccoli son and really does tend to him as his own child, but also has to make sure Zim is still being enriched like a zoo animal by still doing their "Zim and Dib battles and fights" every now and then before going out for ice cream because "oh shit Zim, you actually passed that multiplication test this time."

Dib's hair handlebar is trademark and he refuses to change it while Zim thinks his new disguise is so unique and unrecognizable. Hey, it works for both.

[bloodiedbeloveds]

Rotating BDTA-John in my head, and it's leading me to ask... why does he paint? And why paint, rather than write or sing or something else?

this is a really good question! it prompted a long conversation, but we didn't come to an agreement, so here are various perspectives.

"Having left the education system as a form of rebellion, it seemed obvious to him that he must pursue an artistic career of some nature. I think he is a painter because he has isolated himself from the world in trying to hide his inhuman nature, and it is easiest for him to pursue a career path where he is not required to make many public appearances and where he is expected to be somewhat skittish and eccentric. As a musical performer, he would have much more difficulty hiding his wings."

“honestly he probably could have been a writer and it wouldn’t have changed much, to tell you the truth the others are giving all these sensible watsonian explanations but i’m 95% sure it’s because we like describing fictional works of visual art”

“shut up it absolutely would have changed things, him being an artist adds to the epistolary form by contributing even more implied content— in the same way that there’s all these interpersonal interactions which must take place but aren’t written down, the descriptions without the presence of the actual images add to the sense that we as readers are not getting the full story. this is especially blatant in we never really learn, with that image description”

“my take is that he has to be some sort of creative for this story to work, because so much of it is about perception & a lot of his Issues are about how he makes so much goddamn money by drawing his deepest traumas and people eat it up. but actually we started thinking about this because of the trends in modern poetry publishing. so that could’ve worked. so i think it’s mostly for the epistolary stuff”

“he could not be a singer because part of his tragic backstory is having loved to sing as a child but having that joy taken from him because he didn’t sound human enough. the simple childhood pleasure of singing a duet with yourself strangled by shame and self-hatred and despair”

“there's also a historical explanation for this— BDTA (the first fic, not the series as a whole) was written as a reaction to some AUs we had with a friend & to the subsequent acrimonious parting we had with them. it's actually kind of spiteful; we wanted to write something better and more interesting than they ever could have come up with. we've moved beyond that in writing the rest of the series, but john was a painter in the AUs with which BDTA is in conversation, so he's a painter now."

"okay this has no precedent, i'm just making this up, but it's super convincing + sad + creation is about constant reinterpretation, so bear with me. john, as a child, was very sad and fucked up and coped with his alienation from his peers + from childhood as a whole via a) reading too much and b) drawing too much. so by the time he's a teenager he's already fallen into the pattern he exhibits as an adult of drawing tortured eldritch characters as a form of emotional self-harm, and when he drops out of college + loses access to his previous viable career path art is both his only other major skill + something he can't stop doing even if he tries."

"honestly, this is making me interested in a take on BDTAverse where john is a fiction writer and alex is a freelance artist. (hey, you know what would be super fucked up? if The Photo hadn't been released, and alex drew for magazines and people kept asking him to draw john's suicide attempt)"

"anyway! i think he paints as a compulsive thing, because he has so few emotional outlets, and doing art about it has been pretty much the only way for him to manage his feelings for a lot of his life. (he learned, as a child, that there are correct emotions to have and if you don't have the right ones people will be mad at you, so talking about it has been out of the picture for a long time.) and once he doesn't have other career plans, well, he's going to be painting fucked up stuff anyway, might as well sell it"

[godivamalcolm]

☠༺♰༻☠

about me

roman

(he/it), transmasc bigender

18

writer, painter, and musician from texas

my main- @helterskeletors

twitter- @/jaybaumans

ao3- jaybaumans

main current projects

DOGMOUTH - a teenager with psychosis sets out to murder his childhood abuser. horror, drama. manuscript. READ HERE

LITTLE DEATH - a guardian angel becomes overwhelmed with lust for the man she's assigned to protect. horror, thriller. manuscript.

ACT OF GOD - following a devastating tornado, a famous writer returns to his hometown to find it shattered worse emotionally than physically. drama. screenplay.

PARTITION - a sudden move to Paris has a young tailor caught up in sex, murder, and the maddening world of his boss. thriller, comedy, romance. manuscript.

CAMISADO - in a post "The Exorcist" world, an actual exorcist has lost his faith- until he meets a woman who convinces him of a higher power. horror, romance. short story.

BABY BLUE MILK - an ice cream company is quietly exploited by a middle-aged lawyer who defended them in an E-coli lawsuit. based off the epic poem "Beowulf". comedy, thriller. short story.

KNUCKLE VELVET - a deeply traumatized surgical intern strikes up a friendship with her trainer, a mellow and mysterious chief surgeon. as the lines of their relationship blur, it's clear she knows more about him than she lets on. drama, thriller, romance. short story.

GIRL WITH A BASKET OF FLIES - college student Farley realizes the mistake of opening her shock site to visitor submissions the hard way. horror, drama. undecided.

RAPTURE - Brian Udara, a sheltered Christian boy, has his life turned upside down when he's abducted and probed by aliens. worse yet, he has to grieve his innocence in a town split on whether they believe his story. horror, drama. manuscript.

FIEND ANGELICAL - in this retelling of Romeo and Juliet, Juliet Capulet finds herself ripped apart by both her extortioner parents and the forbidden love of the local friar. drama, romance. stageplay.

AMERICAN TEENAGER - the prequel to PARTITION, in which a 19-year-old Edgar Wentz comes to age whilst in a tortured romance with her manager under the threat of a copycat serial killer. horror, drama, romance. manuscript.

INBRED - when a doomsday cult's prophecies are correct, Earth is left without a sun. in the eternal night, the daughter of the cult's leader, spared from their mass suicide due to her 'holy' status, is finally left to her own devices. as the world decays into madness and violence, she finds herself becoming a part of it. horror, drama. short story. READ HERE

TESTOSTERONE - Lindsey Goth, a straight community college student, struggles to feign attraction to his married, male history professor. dramedy. undecided.

CUPID AND THE CAGE DANCERS - two drag queens are recruited by the mob to keep their club afloat after their employer is murdered. comedy, thriller. stage play.

BROTHER PYRRHUS -  20 years after the events of DOGMOUTH, Solomon Conrad attempts to reconnect with his semi-estranged brother Martin, of whom, he's told, was once much different. drama. manuscript.

KUDZU COUNTY - an FBI agent travels to a small Texas town after hearing word of illegal alcohol production, but quickly becomes preoccupied when he finds an unidentified plant flourishing. horror, western. short story.

DOCTOR Z - as a part of a contract killer's training, the US government sends him to mysterious, maze-like barracks run by a man only known as Dr. Z. horror, sci-fi. short story.

FIVE EYES, BURGERS AND FRIES - thinking it better grounds to have him imprisoned, the Supreme Court tries Edward Snowden for apparent ‘theft’ of a cheeseburger, rather than espionage. comedy, horror, drama. short story.

notes

feel free to ask me anything!!!

i'm open for criticism, as long as it's in dms :3

this blog will mainly be for updates and discussion, as well as being silly and blabbing about my ocs

i write a lot of horror and nsfw content, please keep that in mind byf

[clairelsonao3]

AITA for being suspicious of my boss/ brother's new protege? (Tag Game)

Another awesome open tag I haven't seen anywhere else, and I had to jump on from @smzeszikorova. This one was hilarious and gave me an opportunity to do the unreliable narrator thing and get into the POV of one of the villains from Good Slaves Never Break the Rules, although, for the maximum fun factor, I wrote it as if it could be a real letter from someone in our world.

Instructions: Write an AITA question from the POV of one your OCs.

This one's kind of involved, I know, but if anyone wants to try it, it's a good character-building exercise! Gently tagging:

@romanceandshenanigans @mysticstarlightduck @tabswrites

Anyway, for anyone who hasn't read the story and doesn't care about spoilers (or even if you have), I'm curious, based just on this, who do you think is the asshole here:

My half-brother (45M) and I (41F) are the most important people in each other's lives.

Below the cut are possible spoilers for Ch. 22 onward and mentions of noncon, trauma, and child abuse:

We were subject to severe abuse as children and our bond was the only reason we survived. Although we lost touch for a few years as kids, we eventually reconnected after he became financially successful. He's been a mentor to me ever since and even paid for my entire education, and now I work for him in his multimillion-dollar business as his head of research and development. I'm leading up a project that means a lot to both of us personally, a project so important it could disrupt the entire economy and change people's lives for the better all over the world. Achieving it is our lifelong dream!

The problem is, he's recently hired this new guy (19M) -- who has no formal education and has never even held a job, by the way -- who he seems convinced is scientifically gifted and that he is determined to make his protege in the business. They're hanging out together all the time and seem to be becoming BFFs. Plus, he's paying this guy almost as much as he pays me, gave him money for a brand-new designer wardrobe, and even a Porsche! And he's always talking about how great this new guy is; it's like he thinks he's the son he never had or something.

But I'm convinced the new guy is a complete fraud who must have somehow conned my brother into hiring him. First of all, he's telling my brother that I'm mentally unstable and I threatened and assaulted him (okay I admit it, I did, but it wasn't my fault! I'm traumatized from a childhood full of abuse and have trouble controlling my impulses sometimes. I'm working on it in therapy -- or at least I was before I got thrown out for allegedly trying to grope my therapist, but it was all just a misunderstanding.)

Even worse, the new guy is always snooping around the office and going places he shouldn't. He claims he's looking for his missing sister (17F), who used to work here, but I don't know anything about that! He's even gone so far as to claim that I'm defrauding the company and exploiting and harming the young women who work for me, which is ridiculous. In exchange for them helping me with my research, I'm giving them money, housing, support, and a better life than they ever dreamed of, which is more than I got as a child!

Bottom line, I think he's a liar, a con artist, and is trying to alienate my brother from me so he can take over the business and destroy everything we're building.

I told my brother everything, but he doesn't believe me! He claims I'm just jealous and paranoid and that I must just want to bang this guy (okay, maybe, but that's beside the point, and besides, I feel that way about pretty much everyone. What can I say, I have a healthy sex drive). And also that I'm just trying to distract my brother from the fact that my project is stalled and making no headway -- even though everyone knows groundbreaking research takes time and can't be rushed!

I can't believe my brother isn't supporting me in this. He knows how fragile and traumatized I am, but he sometimes forgets, which is why I try to remind him of it as much as I can. AITA for being afraid of losing my brother and everything we've worked so hard for?

[jess-moloney-malarkey]

I haven’t been there myself not I’m not the best person to source but from the other two blogs (I’ve seen it twice) fans overheard Jess “fat shaming” other fans who were speaking to Jamie at the time .

What I think the blog is trying to do (I haven’t made any but what I’ve been trying to help do as well) is find sources who personally know either Jamie or Jess to see if they’re willing provide any insight whatsoever so all speculations can be put to rest.

I get that this doesn’t concern us but as another blog mentioned the reason why a lot of us are concerned about Jamie is because of his mental health . Not necessarily Jess as such . Although we do believe based on some stuff he’s engaged with she might contribute . Because Jamie has had a harder childhood than most and a lot of trauma and mental health struggles , it can really change a person in their adulthood . Whilst Jamie has been open in the past of such struggles I believe personally that in his relationships he’s struggled a bit . That’s why most of us are worried. Of course he’s an adult . It shouldn’t concern us. But we are concerned because ultimately we want him to be healthy , safe and happy .

Hopefully that provides some insight . It’s done if you disagree but I just wanted to share that :)

I appreciate you taking the time to explain your view!

I think it's totally fine and normal as a human being and fan to feel concern and to want the best for him knowing his prior struggles, absolutely. I also want him to be healthy, safe, and happy! I just think the issue is that the other blog takes a lot of things wayyyy too far, for someone who does not know him or his life personally. Like I don't think we need to be scouring the internet for reasons to suggest that he's in imminent danger, you know?

Like you said, he is an adult and he can make his own decisions, and I believe he can seek help or change things as he deems necessary, as he has done before. It's not really our place as people so far removed from him to find reasons to seemingly convince people that he's actively struggling or not safe, in my opinion. Because we just don't have the full picture, right?

If there was just some casual talk about it between fans and whatnot, that's pretty par for the course. But the creation of an entire blog/other socials to spin these rather intense theories that he's at risk, and the targeted harassment/alienation of people who say kind things about Jess or who aren't behaving the "correct" way as a fan, that just gives me the ick overall.

I definitely don't totally disagree with your general sentiment, I just think the way it's being carried out by some people is what's flawed.

[skulltopcomputer]

I Have So Much To Say About Transmasc Jake English

Disclaimer: This is my opinion- I definitely don’t think you have to interpret Jake this way, both gender and character-wise. Also, this is just for fun (I swear). Although I am interested in working in the confines of canon for as much as possible, I'm not trying to "prove" Jake is transmasc, I'm sure Hussie wrote him as a cis man. Content warnings under read more.

Content warning for discussions of transphobia and misogyny (if I need to add anything else let me know).

Just for context, I believe Jake realized he was a boy very early in his childhood. Thematically, it would be most appropriate shortly after Grandma English dies, so basically, as long as he's been old enough to understand the concept of "gender", he has known he is a boy. (I have a lot of ways that I think transmasc Jake would interact with the text of Homestuck, but that's all you really need to know for this post).

Also I’m going to talk about “the narrative” a lot here, which I'm mostly using to mean the perceived author of Homestuck, that is, the person who writes the narration, controls who to focus on and how the plot plays out, etc. I say "the narrative" instead of "Hussie" because 1. Hussie is a literal character within the comic and I'm not referring to them there and 2. I don't think they intended everything I'm going to say "the narrative" pushes here, even if their vitriol towards Jake was very much deliberate. It's important to have a term for this as Hussie's background as the specific type of Internet Poster they were greatly impacts how Homestuck is written- in Jake's case, how the reader is made to perceive his character.

OK onto the actual analysis.

(One of) the whole point(s) of Jake is that he conceptualizes himself in certain ways that aren't reflected in the reality of his actions. Specifically, he thinks of himself as some grandiose, charismatic action hero, even though in reality he’s just kind of a nerdy teen who watches movies all day. There are many reasons he views himself that way, but most relevantly to this post he’s raised solely on media to influence his worldview, and therefore both consciously and unconsciously assimilates the roles of movie character archetypes onto how he thinks of real people. This is easily mapped onto Jake’s perception of himself as a “man”, as (most of) the men he knows are the rough-and-tumble, kick ass adventure type. He thinks that since these are traits of men, and since he is a man, he must inherently be that way as well- even though in actuality, he's done very little to show it.

By the narrative’s standards, Jake makes a lot of mistakes as someone who wants to be considered a “man”. He idolizes female heroes alongside male ones (most likely influenced by Grandma English’s being his first model of what a hero should be), even going so far as to dress like them. He’s not ashamed of his attraction to men. In fact, he's open about his attraction to what the narrative considers to be abnormal (I know in the real world, an attraction to "blue women" would be regarded as incredibly tame, but considering what Homestuck considers a furry it's safe to say the standard of deviance is rather low. I think the emphasis on Neytiri is meant to accentuate Jake's affinity towards blue woman as "weird", especially as the narration highlights her nonhuman anatomy and she's repeatedly described as "furry"). The narrative punishes him for these traits, often in ironic ways. He is given a skimpy, uncomfortable, god tier outfit meant to objectify him (reminiscent of how women are objectified in the movies he likes), he messes up his relationship with Dirk so bad he convinces himself he's not attracted to anyone*, and he is embarrassingly awkward with the real-life blue alien girl he meets. Sincerity, especially among male characters, is often unforgivable to Homestuck.

*To clarify, what I think is happening when Jake says he's not "capable" of romantic attraction is that he's trying to convince himself he can't feel attraction, because he doesn't want to have a relationship where he hurts people/other people hurt him that bad ever again. I don't think it's "wrong" to interpret him as aromantic, and I especially don't think aromanticism should be treated as a "punishment". I just don't think of him as such.

Jake’s whole SBURB adventure is the narrative repeatedly, humiliatingly tearing down Jake’s perception of himself by placing him into situations wherein he is shown to fail to uphold it, both internally to the characters and externally to the reader. The “charismatic” part of his persona is all but demolished in his conversations with Aranea, as well as his relationships with the Alpha kids in the void session. In the Game Over timeline while Gamzee is fighting Terezi, all Jake can bring himself to do is politely ask him to stop. His most damning blow comes in his confrontation with Crockertier Jane, as he fails twofold at what a “man” would do in his place- he doesn’t want to fight her, and he doesn’t want to have sex with her. His admission of “not wanting to be a man and not wanting to punch her in the face” at BGD’s pestering is the narrative finally succeeding at pressuring him into admitting he’s too weak for the standards of masculinity imposed on him, or put another way, that he’s not a "man” at all. (Relevantly, BGD functions as both a Dirk [a character praised for his adherence to masculinity] analogue and Jake’s internal monologue, proving Jake is aware and ashamed of himself in the moment and that he thinks his friends would most likely judge him too). Once the narrative has proven Jake has failed at the standards of masculinity, it forces him into what he, and the reader, would understand as positions typically held by female characters in media (objectifying him, assaulting him, etc.).

Jake is often treated as “silly” and “stupid”, both outright and insidiously. He's the kid who grew up on an island, isolated from society, and therefore doesn't understand how the world "really" operates. He also shares Caliborn's unspecified "learning disorder", which in the narrative's terms, is just another reason he's out of touch. The more characters who think of him as stupid or ignorant, the more Jake's autonomy is diminished- how can he claim to know anything about his identity when he so disconnected from reality? Jake's continual crying falls into this too, as large displays of emotions are often conflated with stupidity, or at the very least irrationality.

All of this is so resonant for me as a transmasc person, especially since Homestuck is so influenced by internet culture. I was never a forum goer but I did a lot of digital self harm on Reddit and the sentiment that transmasc people are stupid, fanciful, confused teen girls that only want to be men because they want to imitate characters in media is (was? I try not to go on Reddit anymore) very common in those types of spaces. (This is amplified if you read Jake as autistic [as I do] as the “confused autistic teen girl” is unfortunately a very prevalent transphobic stereotype). Anyone who did not live up to a very specific caliber of toxic masculinity (wearing only masculine clothes, being attracted exclusively to women, repressing grand acts of emotions, etc.) was labeled as faking, and often subject to misogynistic harassment. I hope by now you can see how this connects to Jake.

(One of the reasons) why John's conversation with Jake in Act 6 Act 6 is so important to resolving his character is that John shows Jake that there's more than one way to be a man. John introduces a new type of masculinity to Jake, that of a "side kick", evidently referencing Robin, as he contrasts this archetype with "bat man". He recontextualizes his outfit meant to objectify him as something this character would wear. Robin- and therefore this role of the "side kick"- is still very much a male character who is allowed to be male even though he's goofy instead of a chiseled, emotionally repressed paradigm of masculinity. Jake shows a lot of joy at inhabiting this idea.

In summary, transmasc Jake is an extrapolation of the themes of how the narrative punishes Jake for not meeting the expectations of masculinity put upon him. There are other reasons why I view Jake as transmasc, but this is the most important one to me, as it's the most poignant. There are few stories that portray the experience of growing up on the internet, fewer specifically with a transmasculine lens, and even fewer that discuss the hardships of doing so in both cases. Ironically, the narrative's contempt towards Jake made for a more realistic, and therefore more evocative, experience for me.

Of course, not all transmasc people are going to view it that way, so please don't generalize. I like seeing negative experiences reflected in media, but not all people do.

This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg concerning both transmasc Jake and especially Jake analysis in general so hopefully more posts to come. Also, despite the fact I didn’t go into them much as characters in this post, know I am a staunch Jane and Dirk defender (crockertier Jane is not really representative of Jane and BGD is not really representative of Dirk. I also don't think Jake is perfect or anything). They are also both transmasc but that's a post for a different day.

[waspstar]

nobody literally ever sends me asks so im going to answer all of these, original post here

🖖 First Trek media you encountered? a compilation of kirk being gay on tumblr. its what convinced me to watch the show 🥹 Favourite behind the scenes picture. this is hard, but probably this one.

i do however like another one of levar and brent together. 🌀 If the holodeck was real, what would be the first thing you'd use it for? meeting xtc ❤️ Your ST comfort character/s. the emh first and foremost. but also mccoy. 👕 Character whose fashion you like. LWAXANA DUHHHH 🎼 Song/music you associate with an aspect of ST. garden of earthy delights and across this antheap both by xtc remind me so so much of chekov. oh, and one of the millions by xtc as well! supersonic by jamiroquai reminds me a lot of the emh 😒 Character who annoys you. if there are no kai winn haters im dead 🍻 Hangout at Quark's or Ten Forward? see, at ten forward i have a chance of running into barclay and he wont try to scam me. but i think id go to quark's just cuz i like the ds9 cast more. 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏿 Do you ship any characters? Who? yesss my number one favorite will always be qcard, but i also love jiles and tom and harry. ❌ One storyline/plot point that you hate from your favourite ST show/movie. this is so hard, i hate so many. i think my favorite st show is ds9 (though voyager is like, really becoming close to my heart) however i will have to sayyy umm. fascination is a pretty bad plot. i did not like that. that was really weird. i love lwaxana but that was a really bad plot. i guarantee you theres worse i just cant think of any >_< 🫂 Character you'd like to be friends with. i wanna say barclay, but i feel like being his friend would be so emotionally taxing. so perhaps bashir or miles. or tom :) ✨ Has Star Trek had a personal impact on you? extremely so. star trek is a very important part of my life and i think about it every single day. i consider it a special interest. 🖊️ Do you have a favourite quote from ST? its actually not technically a star trek quote, as they took it from a book. however, the line the emh reads at the end of latent image. 🪐 Favourite alien planet. ive always been fond of risa i wanna go there 🥲 ST moment that makes you cry. lal's death. also spock dying duh 📚 Favourite ST fic you've read. theres definitely a really good qcard one ive liked but i dont remember the name and dont feel like finding it. theres a really cute quodo one i remember too. thats hard. ive read a lot over the years ☄️ Your headcanon/s about a favourite character. the way that i have all kinds of headcanons and think of some often but now theyre all gone upon being asked this. umm. oh i headcanon that barclay had a cat early on in his starfleet career that passed away. i even came up with a name for it...i cant remember what it was but it was a space themed name. i also headcanoned that he had no father and only a mom and that he was raised on mars! and that his mom died early into his childhood. thats all i got tho 🎨 Favourite piece of ST fanart. i straight up do not have it, but its this beautiful art of q holding an orb with picard suspended within it. i have it saved somewhere. 🍽️ What alien food/drink would you want to try? UGGHHH HASPERATTTT every time i see anyone eat hasperat in ds9 i get so hungry i want to try it so baddd i imagine it has a very plant based spice, a fresh kinda spiciness...and kinda like a cilantro type taste going on. it looks so goodddd. ive also personally wanted to try klingon food. unpopular opinion ig but it looks yummy 👋 An actor, writer or creator on the show you'd love to meet. id sacrifice everything to meet robert picardo. hes done everything for me simply by playing the doctor and i just want to hug him and thank him and give him a kiss on the cheek if possible. also the same goes for john de lancie, esp bcs john not only played q but also discord from mlp, another character i love.

[grapesodatozier]

"hey boss sorry I’m late I was zoned out in the shower thinking about what dnd 5e class each of the losers would be" -me this morning

lol anyway here’s what I came up with!! would love to hear others’ thoughts on this!! my personal character interpretations are very book heavy with cherry-picked movie influences and a respectable scoop of fanon interpretations I like lol so I think there’s a lot of options here and I think it would be so fun to hear other people’s interpretations of this!!

bill: oath of vengeance paladin whose god is maturin. his favorite spell is compelled duel. no further elaboration needed.

mike: farm boy mike made me consider druid or ranger, but I think his motivations are very strong around maintaining derry’s history, and he’s incredibly dedicated to that, so I think knowledge domain cleric makes most sense to me (his god is also maturin, bike maturin acolyte boyfriends so real <3 )

ben: book ben is soooo fighter. that man threw back an insane amount of alcohol, went back to derry no question, stomped on some alien eggs, and took decades to confess to a cute, corny little 3 line love poem, then respectfully swept his childhood love off her feet. that’s just so fighter to me. like there is nothing more Fighter than starting your story alone in a tavern venting vaguely about your past heroic exploits to the bartender. fighter for sure with some significant levels in artificer for his architecture career

stan: wizardddddd he literally escapes pennywise with the powers of his bird watching guidebook!!!! literally got magic powers from a book in canon!!!!! also he's very happy being an accountant and i feel like math and desk jobs feel very wizard to me lol. also it would be so interesting to explore his feelings about being able to shape reality when he's so attached to maintaining reality. but. he literally changed reality with his book like!!!! so much to think about here.

bev: i kinda want bev to be a rogue, but i think that's just what she initially tries to be. she wants to fly under the radar so bad but she never can. honestly i think she's a barbarian!! it's what she deserves!!! 2017 babygirl kills her dad by bashing him over the head with a toilet cover!!! that's some barbarian shit she has so much anger and rage that she deserves to let out!!!!! also her premonitions about It coming back? danger sense. decades in advance danger sense lmao

eddie: listen. i considered rogue. killing your childhood bully with a broken perrier bottle is some rogue shit. i also considered monk, bc our boy loves to go fast!! but i think the most fitting class for him is ranger. his "super power" is always knowing where to go and where he is. he uses it in the sewers, he uses it to drive around new york city better than anyone else. knowing your terrain that effortlessly is some ranger shit. also he's happiest just chilling on a grassy hill or hanging out in the barrens!! nature baby boy!! also rangers can be a dex class so it still works for him wanting to run and run and run

richie: okay i spent way too much time thinking about richie's bc he's my favorite <3 lol so this is gonna be long. listen we all have biases okay. anyways he's obviously a bard like hello he can change his voice and convince people he's someone else. basically literally casts silvery barbs in book canon. constantly performing. described as having "exhausting charm." support class 100%, while everyone leans on bill he's the one bill leans on. favorite spell is disguise self bc he wants so badly to be someone else. but i don't think he's just a bard. i think he pretends to be just a bard, but such a big part of richie's character is being afraid of things inside himself that he'd like to ignore but can't control. It shows him a werewolf with his name on it which yeah I'm very pro bisexual interpretation of that but more generally is just about feeling like he's got smth uncontrollable and scary that he doesn't understand within him. all of which screams wild magic sorcerer!! so i think he's a wild magic sorcerer who learns bard stuff so he can pretend he's only a bard bc he's scared of his natural magic

okay ty for reading please feel free to share your thoughts if you have them <3

[tohisprettyc00l]

Hello! I’m here for a toh matchup ^^

I have short dyed hair (one side purple one side black) in a wolfcut, pale pasty skin, some acne on my cheeks, chin, and nose, circular silver glasses, I’m 4’9 in height and I weigh 98 lbs, I have long boney fingers and slender hands, I have a eye bags, and I have mole underneath my right eye, one on my left ear, another one next to my left ear, and one on my right cheek along with lots of moles on my neck. I’m very skinny, and I have eating problems, and you can basically see my ribs, have a big-ish button nose, and I have blue eyes with specks of hazel and green. I’m also sixteen.

As for my personality, i’m an ISTP and Virgo, I believe in zodiac signs, I prefer practicality and realism over optimism and recklessness, i’m pretty apathetic and don’t really react to any dire situation (mostly because my parents would say ‘if you cry I’ll give you something to cry about’ ☺️), I don’t like socializing, and I don’t have any friends, but that’s because I’m homeschooled and don’t interact with kids my age.

I am very nonchalant most of the time, and I barely ever talk, but that’s just a trauma response from my neglectful childhood.

I was forced to grow up and stay home alone because my mom and ex stepdad (who was narcissistic and emotionally abusive) and I also had to do most of the chores around the house too.

I’m a people pleaser, and I hate asking for things because it makes me feel guilty.

I like conspiracy theories, anime, Ninjago, Amphibia, Gravity falls, candy, Pepsi, gaming, tie dyeing, science, space, stuffed animals, fidget toys, chewing on things, cryptids, ghost hunting, exploring abandoned places WHILE ghost hunting, music, and aliens.

I’m bisexual, poly, and gender-fluid but idk prefer he/him and they/them pronouns

My disorders: Anxiety, ADHD, social anxiety, depression, and PTSD, I also dissociate a lot.

My stye: Goblincore/emo, it depends on my mood.

If you don’t mind, could this be a long matchup? If not then that’s ok ^^

I match you with: Luz Noceda!

-You have ✨Amity hair✨ (or at least the multicolored with one of the colors being purple part of it

-I don't think Luz believes in zodiacs but she's def interested in learning about them.

-Girl loved space when she was a kid.

-Though you two definitely differ on the whole not being reckless thing, she does kinda get your realism views.

-Luz tried to make friends when she was in human school but she was deemed 'too weird.' so you could probably talk (vent) about that.

-Amity also has a pretty fucked childhood, so I guess that's a thing with her partners.

-Luz at the age of four-fucking-teen saved the entire world so she also grew up quite fast.

-Ahh to be a poeple pleaser in love with another poeple pleaser.

-Luz has watched that conspiracy theory iceberg at least ten times and you can't convince me otherwise. (Whether she believes them is a whole other can of worms.

-Ampiba exists in toh fandom and Luz 100% is a fan of it (And gravity falls if that exists)

-You like candy, Luz has said that she eats so much sugar her blood better be sweet.

-She has enough stuffed animals to fill multiple rooms, no I don't take criticism.

-She believed in ghosts and aliens before she even knew about the demon realm. (Her mom had to stop her from going into abandoned buildings multiple times.



I hope you like this! The length of matchups depends on how much content I can get out of the ask, and you gave me quite a bit! :)

[zerogravityinq]

Of course Res gives me thoughts for my AU when I can't get words out to update it. Fuck.

(under the cut if you wanna avoid AU brainrot)

SO

I haven't established it well in this AU (because I am a shit world builder) that magic consumes a lot of calories and you need a lot to keep up with the metabolic rate of it.

Harry is a little dude - both from childhood starvation, genetic build and, in this AU, being pretty powerful so his metabolic rate is high as fuck. He gets around this by making recipes Molly has given him or having Freya cook his meals. Because even if they cook the exact same thing, a meal made by a muggle (Alfred) and by a magical (Molly, Harry, or Freya in this case) has different caloric density. Molly says it's because it's made with love but the real answer is that wix cooks suffuse their food with magic making the food more dense in calories. Kind of how a muggle could make a potion but it may not be as effective if a wix, potioneer or even a Potion Master. A muggle Gordon Ramsey wouldn't be able to outbrew Severus Snape even working from the same recipe.

Getting back to it, this also explains Voldemort's appearance (in the books) since he would have to eat constantly to maintain that kind of magical output and like Mr No Nose No Hoes would not lower himself to something as plebian as eating, it was likely he just fed off his magic and let his magic keep him going. Honestly of the Order just held out for an extra year or two, he would have just died from Magical Exhaustion but digressing.

Jason is luckily in a good position in this AU as he was saved from a rough childhood relatively early (age 5), his magic came in at a good age (age 6), he was taught how to cook and excels at it and despite being a huge dude with pretty hefty magic (not more powerful than say Tom but has been pretty relentlessly headhunted to join the American and British Auror Corps) he doesn't keep to an extreme diet like Bruce does. He does know, however, if he doesn't eat his metabolism will eat away at his magic.

Conner is in a difficult spot that is 100% my doing 😭 (I do love him I swear) but my boy is a relatively bulky guy, magical to a very noticeable degree (less powerful than Jason but more than Terry or Jazz) AND Kryptonian. His alien bit doesn't need to eat but needs sun. And where does my boy live? Gotham and London. Like the two least sunniest places you can live 😂😂. I'm so sorry Conner but he can fly and he does like apparate to the sun (the maddest of lads) so like... he's fine....mostly....(Nervous laughter)

Damian doesn't notice how he has to scale up his eating but like once he convinced Molly and Freya he didn't need to eat meat, they made a lot of nutrients dense foods for him so he's good.

Terry takes more after Harry in build but isn't as strong as he is in magic (which is fine by him since he's the goddamn Batman) so he doesn't have to eat as much as his wix siblings but like not as strictly as his dad (much to Bruce's relief). He still occasionally has to force himself to eat but it's less of a diet thing and more of a 'i could be doing Batman shit rn' which worries Bruce in a whole other way.

The twins are gremlins that will eat anything not bolted down - literally. The amount of times the rest of the family had to make them cough up a tablet or phone or tv remote or pen or blanket or dumbbell...when the twins are in their 20s. The infuriating part is that they neither gain a pound AND it isn't obvious they ate something big (like that time Lilith ate the Batjet). Long story short, the twins are on some Looney Toons shit. Outside of that, they get their fuel from ectoplasm which Gotham has in abundance or they just cling to Harry since he is the Master of Death and Regent until Danny is of age.

Bruce’s batman diet plan must be wild 😭 like thinking about the early days batman and the hardcore bulking he must’ve done and how he’s maintained and even grown it consistently since

And bc u were talking about old man bruce earlier today too it’s like wow what a man

Thinking about how much he has to eat just to MAINTAIN that level of muscle and activity makes me want to puke. Like I genuinely feel nauseous considering his exercise plan. Just nonstop bulking at peak capacity and activity for months if not years, and then decades of MAINTAINING that? He must hate food. Genuinely. It’s all fuel to him, barely enjoyable if even that.

I’m sure someone in the JL jokes about “bulking up like you, man” and Bruce is just dying of laughter inside. Sure, man. Go home and eat sixteen chicken breasts and then run in heavy armor until sunrise; you’ll get about halfway through his daily regimen.