#me at 15 but even ruder and angrier

[skipper1331]

Public? // Felicitas Rauch

a/n: based off this request. Hope you like it:)

The tension was thick at home.

Felicitas loved you.

You loved Felicitas.

But that didn‘t change the fact that there was this strange atmosphere ever since the two of you had one of your biggest fight ever.

-

At the age of 15, Feli and you met.

At the age of 16, she asked you out on a date.

After several dates, you asked you to be her girlfriend - it took you some weeks to build up the courage to do so.

At the age of 23, Feli asked you to marry her.

At the age of 24, the two of you were happily married.

Both of you seemed to be happy - you were, but something in Felis mindset shifted which had led to your argument.

She hated that she couldn‘t wear her ring.

She hated that nobody knew she was married.

For the world, you didn’t exist - that‘s how many people knew about you.

You‘re her wife.

She wanted to show everybody how much in love she was with you.

She wanted to post pictures with you,

she wanted to hold your hand in public,

she wanted to be seen with you.

You‘re everything to her and nobody knew about it.

-

It started as a simple conversation.

"Liebe, can we talk about something?" the German asked, taking a seat in front of you. You looked up from your laptop, putting the pen down, so your complete attention was on her. "Is everything alright?" you questioned, a big frown displayed over your features. It was never a good sign to start conversations like that, "what‘s wrong?"

The defender took a deep breath before she answered straightforward, "be my wife." which came out ruder than intended.

Confused, you looked at her, "I am"

"You‘re not" she declared, her jaw tense.

"What‘re you talking about?" you closed your laptop, "does that mean nothing?" wiggling with your ringfinger.

"No" she didn‘t want to get mad but slowly anger started to float through her body, all her emotions discovering the surface, "because I can‘t wear mine!"

Taken back by her outburst, you matched her tone, "that‘s not my fault! You‘re the athlete, not me"

"You wanted us to be private!" her voice raised, "I could‘ve easily taped my ring" with her finger at the brick of nose, she tried to calm down. That’s not the way she wanted it to turn out - not at all.

"I want to be public" she stated, this time a much softer voice talking to you. The voice you could listen hours to.

"I don’t!"

With her voice level back angry and heart hurt, she growled, "Why not?!"

"I don‘t want to"

Your answer only made her angrier as she stood up and walked around the kitchen counter to pour herself a glass of water.

"That‘s not a reason!"

"You know what?!" leaving the chair, you gathered your notes, "I don‘t have to explain myself"

Feli could only watch as you took your laptop and walked away, in the direction of the front door.

Quickly, she followed you, stopping you in your tracks as she grabbed your wrist, her touch gentle, "Where are you going?"

"Away from you!" you felt so hurt, the insult of not being her wife. Was this whole marriage a joke to her?

"Y/n" she started, the hurt on your face visible for her, "please-"

"No, i got the message" you grumbled, "it‘s yours" angrily you took of the ring, slamming it down on the shelf.

Maybe it was childish to take off your ring but you felt helpless. She had been your girlfriend for many years and your wife for a few years, but never, never ever had she hurt you as much with a statement as she just did.

You left shortly after, Feli standing in the hall with an empty expression on her, your ring between her fingers.

She fucked up. She really did and she knew.

-

It was dark outside, 10 minutes before midnight and you still weren‘t home which made her anxious. The varnish of her nails was peeled off, her leg hobbling up and down and her mind racing with worst case scenarios.

Liebe❤️

When are you coming home?

please let me know

Even though you were hurt, you replied to her text. You hated it not reply to her texts and you could imagine how she was feeling, you hated it too when you didn’t know when she was coming home.

You

one hour.

Feli was laying in bed, anxiously watching the clock in your bedroom as she waited for you to come home. There was no way she would fall asleep before she knew you were safely at home.

Exactly an hour later, you opened the front door, walking into your home, eyes puffy and red. The defender didn’t leave the bed, she didn’t try to approach you nor talk to you. She wanted to let you be. Yet that didn‘t stop her from hoping you would join her in bed.

And you did.

Wordlessly you laid down, your back facing her. The German felt her heart sink, usually you would always cuddle her - she really had fucked up.

It took you about 20 minutes before you fell asleep, your body physically exhausted, Feli still wide awake. As your soft snores filled the room the defender was quick to decide what her next move would be. She couldn’t sleep without holding you, so that‘s what she did. Her arms snuggled around waist as she pulled you close, your body relaxing in her touch. She would make it up to you - that was a promise.

-

You woke up alone in bed, the wolfsburg player nowhere to be seen. Making your way out of bed, dressed in a oversized shirt and shorts, you walked in the kitchen, the smell of pancakes hitting your nostrils, "good morning" you muttered as you rubbed your eyes, taking on seat at the bar stool.

"Hey" the german whispered as she took you in, "I made you breakfast" she handed you the plate which was filled with pancakes.

"Thank you"

It was silent for a few moments.

"I‘m sorry" your wife started, "I’m so sorry. You‘re my wife no matter if the world knows that or not- I shouldn’t have yelled at you and I’m so sorry for insulting you like that" she inhaled sharply, turning to you as she gently interwined your fingers, "I love you. You are everything to me"

"Your comment hurt me" you whispered, your head falling against her shoulder as she instantly wrapped her arms around you. Silent tears streamed down your face as she mumbled sweet nothings in your ear.

"I‘m so sorry, baby" multiple kisses were pressed against your head, "I don’t wanna be public if you don‘t want to. I want you to be happy"

Her hands cupped your cheeks as she made you look at her, her eyes determined with her statement, "I love you"

-

"Can you tell me why you don‘t want to be public?" she asked one evening as she held you in her arms with the tv playing in the background. Her tone was gentle, understanding and as if she would accept every answer, she just had to know an answer.

"I like privacy"

And even though, it was indeed true that you enjoyed your privacy, the real reason to stay in secret was because you were afraid. You feared the public and their words. You didn‘t want your relationship to break down because her fans didn‘t like you or your looks or the fact that you don’t play nor enjoy football.

Just you and her.

-

The topic wasn‘t brought up again yet you could see how it killed Feli from day to day, how much it hurt her to take off her ring every morning. Her eyes stopped shining the way they used to, her smile didn‘t reach the corner of her eyes anymore - the light was missing.

She loved you, she really did and she still treated you like a princess but not wearing her ring, not having the opportunity to show you off left her heart in pain.

Which is why you did what you did one day after her training.

The defender came home with a smile tugged on her lips as she told you about her day.

After her story about the day, "I‘m going to shower, baby" she stated, pressing multiple kisses to your cheeks before she walked towards the bathroom, her phone resting on the kitchen counter.

When you heard the shower, it was safe to say that she wouldn‘t come out of the bathroom for at least 20 minutes.

Snatching her phone from the counter, you made yourself comfortable on the couch. Feli never had a problem if you take her phone, she had nothing to hide and was fully convinced that you would never control her which was true. Never ever would you stalk through her phone or anything, most of the time when you used her phone was for music, hay day or when she asked you to reply to someone. You trusted each other blindly and more than anything, so opening instagram, you did the thing that made her happy, hopefully.

You revealed your marriage with a simple post.

Within seconds her phone blew off, notification after notification.

feli_rauch

jule_brand and 20.364 others

feli_rauch 🤍

When Feli left the bathroom, you were happily cooking some dinner as music played softly in the background. You swayed with the beat, humming along the lyrics as you prepared your meal.

In the meantime Feli walked in the living room as she heard her phone ring constantly. What was happening?

And then she saw it.

Over a thousand notifications on instagram.

Why?

Your post.

"Liebe!" she yelled while she quickly entered the kitchen.

"Ye-" you‘re cut of as lips were pressed against your own, strong arms wrapping around your waist.

Feli kissed you with every inch of love in her body,

she kissed you with so much happiness,

she kissed you with a new found passion.

When air became a problem, you pulled away, the defender chasing after your lips for multiple pecks.

"What was that?" you asked, completely out of breath, lips swollen and chest heavily rising and falling.

Replying with "A thank you" she cupped your cheeks, thumb softly caressing it, "for the- that the world knows I‘m married and happily so"

your cheeks turned red, her gaze so intense as it was filled with love. She smiled brightly at you, a smile that reached the corner of her eyes.

"I‘m sorry for being so secretive, I was afraid of the outcome- the media and fans but I’m done with it. I love you and it‘s time for everyone to know" you stated in a firm voice, ready to fight the world if needed.

"I‘m so in love with you"

-

Since that day, there hasn't been a day where Felicitas took off her wedding ring. In games, she would tape it up, the same as in training. It was her good luck charm and everybody should know it.

—————

[your-angle-of-music]

Anyone want my playlist for my dream cast version of Les Miserables?

Here it is!

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyXOfYb8cpflTuoC6FuFMwyCuD60-V0J4

It’s as close to the full show as I can get. Let me know if I miscredited anyone, am missing any major songs, or have anything listed out of order. I’m happy to be convinced that a different version of a song should reign supreme as well, so hit me up!

Song/actors list and explanations under the cut.

1. Overture/Work Song - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Terrence Mann as Javert (Original Broadway)

It’s a big, bombastic, awesome beginning. I definitely vibe with the especially over-the-top synth and these particular convicts’ generally growly, desperate tone. Wilkinson’s Valjean, eternally my favorite, doesn’t seem feral like some versions I’ve seen, but rather like he’s trying so hard to just be good and get through this and keep it together, until he snaps a bit at “My name is Jean Valjean” and the way he acts that gives me chills. Mann’s Javert seems more cold than over-the-top aggressive, which I always like, although he doesn’t stick out thaaat much to me.

2. On Parole/The Bishop - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Paul Monaghan as Bishop Myriel (10th Anniversary)

I love everything about Wilkinson’s Valjean’s “freedom is mine” bit. His unique diction and his perfect tenor-ness and the hope in his voice...yeah. The way he hits and holds that “fliiiiiiiight” note is also pretty perfect. It sounds like the scream he was holding in the whole time he was in prison. I also appreciate Monaghan’s Bishop’s sudden earnestness at the “But remember this, my brother” part and the way he holds that last low “I have bought your soul for God.”

3. Prologue/What Have I Done? - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (Original London)

Wilkinson’s Valjean seems to make the beginning part properly fast and frantic, then switches to a gentle, heartwrenchingly vulnerable tone, then his absolutely anguished “this is all I have known.” As always, he excels at those high notes and long notes.

4. At the End of the Day - Lea Salonga as Fantine, Alfie Boe as Jean Valjean, Jeff Nicholson as the Factory Foreman (25th Anniversary)

All the women here sound so angry, at everyone and everything, and it’s pretty great. Honestly, it was Nicholson’s factory foreman here that really caught my ear, with his nasty “oi!” after the “and in a bed” line and his frankly terrifying “on your way!��. I like Salonga’s Fantine’s note of desperation, although she honestly could sound a little angrier. This track includes a tiny bit of the beginning of “I Dreamed a Dream” and then cuts off — sorry about that.

5. I Dreamed a Dream - Maureen Moore as Fantine (1988)

Something about this recording makes it sound like it’s much older than it is, and that slightly echoey sound makes it sound all the more haunting. A lot of Fantines sound enraged here, and I like that too, but something about Moore’s just utter sadness and vulnerability just sells it for me like no one else can. She sounds so young, because Fantine is. And then the way she belts “shame” is perfection. The way she goes from quiet and gentle at the beginning to desperate belting at the end and then the soft last lines murders my soul every time.

6. Lovely Ladies - Randy Graff as Fantine (Original Broadway)

Honestly...I haven’t found a version of this song that I love yet. There’s still this air of humor to it that feels incongruous at best and mean-spirited at worst. But I really like the worn-out, older sounding voices of a lot of the women singing to Fantine, and Graff’s Fantine’s anguish and slightly breaking voice is definitely good, as is her “don’t they know they’re making love to one already dead?”

7. Fantine’s Arrest - Caissie Levy as Fantine, Nathaniel Hackmann as Jean Valjean, Earl Carpenter as Javert (2014)

I love Levy’s Fantine here, with her fear and her fierceness. The way she spits out that “even a whore who’s gone to the bad won’t be had by a rat” is perfect in every way, as is her pleading after. Carpenter’s Javert has a lovely bass and is also cold and punchable, as all Javerts should be. This is one of the only songs on this playlist I have a video for, and I appreciate the blocking; the women crowding around Fantine and then fleeing, and the way Hackmann’s Valjean keeps his distance from Fantine and generally radiates  respect and tenderness.

8. The Runaway Cart - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Terrence Mann as Javert (Original Broadway)

Thank you @lesbianrung for this recommendation! The ensemble sounds frantic and scared here, sometimes screaming more than singing, but for a chaotic scene like this, it works. Mann’s Javert is more reserved here than some I’ve seen, a bit more like the authority-fearing, self-loathing Brick Javert. Wilkinson’s Valjean sounds like a wreck when he’s begging someone to help him lift the cart, does a great little nervous laugh on “say what you must, don’t leave it there,” and belts his “how can you be sure that I am not your man” to excellent effect.

9. Who Am I? - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (Original Broadway)

Hey quick question did I mention that I love Colm Wilkinson? God that tormented shiver in Valjean’s voice...the softness of that last “I am damned”..his buildup up to “I’m Jean Valjean”...the way he hits that last “two-four-six-oh-oneeeeeeee”...yeah no there is one (1) Jean Valjean and that is Colm Wilkinson.

10. Come to Me/Fantine’s Death - Ruthie Henshall as Fantine, Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (10th Anniversary)

Henshall’s Fantine sounds so gentle yet so powerful here. The way she sings “I will sing you lullabies and wake you in the morning” absolutely shatters me and always will.Her belting sounds beautiful and clear and perfect, vulnerable yet strong. The way she fades out on her last word, “wake,” is utterly haunting. Wilkinson’s Jean Valjean sounds soft and caring, and the way he half-breathes a lot of the words is. Oh.

11. The Confrontation - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Philip Quast as Javert (10th Anniversary)

Quast’s Javert has a true bass quality that really, really works, like in the way he says “you’ll wear a different chain.” In general, the way he seems to bite off his words and the steely determination of his voice is perfect. He balances really well with Wilkinson’s Valjean who, for the first time, sounds scary, but can switch to softness for the dead Fantine. The last “I will be there” is excellent all-around.

12. Castle on a Cloud - Zoë Hart as Little Cosette (Original London)

Hart’s Little Cosette is insanely good! She really does sound like a little kid and still has awesome acting and she’s in tune! Her “there is a lady all in white, holds me and sings me a lullaby” bit is heartbreaking.

13. Master of the House - Barry James as M. Thenardier, Gay Soper as Mme. Thenardier (International Symphonic)

James and Soper are my favorite Thenardiers of all time, by far. I like this longer version that mentions M. Thenardier’s Waterloo shenanigans. James’ Thenardier sounds gleefully evil, and I like his whispery, growly tone or rowdy almost-shouting. You can absolutely hear his nasty grin. His affected r-rolling also reminds me a lot of the Brick characterization. Soper’s Mme. Thenardier has a weasely quality to her voice that seems appropriate, but she does not shy away from the ruder lines (”lifelong shit,” “not much there,” “up the master’s ass,” etc.) and she, like her husband, seems to be having a lot of fun and lapping up the attention. I adore how she delivers her “bastard in the house” line.

14. The Bargain/Waltz of Treachery - Barry James as M. Thenardier, Gay Soper as Mme. Thenardier, Gary Morris as Jean Valjean, Marissa Dunlop as Little Cosette (International Symphonic)

Morris’ Valjean and Dunlop’s Little Cosette’s “la la la la la la la la” harmony is amazing and tender and adorable and may or may not make me cry which is not supposed to happen before Act II. Morris’ delivery of his “now her mother is with God” and “I stand here in her place” lines is powerful, too. The Thenardiers sound delightfully sleazy and dramatic, too. I like that Morris’ Valjean sounds actually angry at them, unlike many others I’ve seen. I almost have to admit though, I miss the movie version of the final lines, where they had “Will you be like a papa to me?”/”Yes Cosette, yes it’s true, I’ll be father and mother to you,” while here, like in other stage shows, they have “Will there be castles and children to see?”/”Yes Cosette, yes it’s true, there’s a castle just waiting for you” because 1) I like Valjean’s father and mother role that Hugo kept talking about in the Brick, and 2) in the musical, it seemed pretty clear that there weren’t actually any other children around Cosette until Marius showed up!

15. Suddenly - Hugh Jackman as Jean Valjean (2012 movie)

Yes, I’m including this song from the movie. Honestly, I don’t like the song itself that much, and I don’t think Jackman’s Valjean has the strongest voice, although his acting is extremely sweet, and when he almost whispers “full of light” and “like the sun” I definitely almost lose it. But I’m mainly including this song because the musical really did need a song that fills this role. The stage musical devotes a weirdly small amount of time to Cosette and Valjean’s relationship, considering that it drives Valjean’s actions for the rest of the story and it is central to the Brick (and one of my favorite parts of it, too). This is the first time that Valjean has ever felt truly loved in his life! Something suddenly HAS begun!

16. Look Down - Ross McCall as Gavroche, Anthony Warlow as Enjolras (International Symphonic)

I fell in love with this version because of the ensemble, honestly. It started out loud and powerful and strong, even more so than the Overture/Work Song bit. McCall’s Gavroche is beyond perfect, though. He is strong and sassy, and angry too, more than most Gavroches in the beginning, but he also sounds so young! Warlow’s Enjolras has an incredibly powerful voice as well, and makes a pretty awesome first impression.

17. The Robbery - Carrie Hope Fletcher as Eponine Thenardier, Rob Houchen as Marius Pontmercy, Cameron Blakely as M. Thenardier, James Gant as Javert (2013)

This is another song I’ve got the blocking for. It’s pretty standard, although I always like when a Marius, like Houchen’s, gets involved in the Fray to defend Cosette. I love the dynamic between Fletcher’s Eponine and Houchen’s Marius, with affection and teasing and care, and their little smiles and head shakes, but also with a bit of discomfort on Marius’ end — he seems a little awkward about trying to get his books back with minimal contact, and he seems to be deflecting the “I like the way you grow your hair” thing as nicely as he can, but definitely deflecting. Blakely doesn’t make much of an impression as Thenardier (although his “told you so” is really funny), and Gant is not my favorite Javert, but Fletcher’s “It’s Javert” is ridiculously awesome.

18. Stars - Philip Quast as Javert (10th Anniversary)

Quast’s Javert is...yeah, what else is there to say?

19. Eponine’s Errand - Kaho Shimada as Eponine Thenardier, Michael Ball as Marius Pontmercy (International Symphonic)

I wish this recording weren’t missing Gavroche’s little part beforehand, but I think Shimada’s Eponine and Ball’s Marius are worth the trade-off. Shimada sounds a little softer and sadder here, not angry like in some versions, which I don’t mind. But when she sees Marius, she switches to determinedly playful which is all the more heartwrenching. And her “I don’t want your money, sir” hurts. Ball’s Marius’ voice is nice and lovestruck and also not softening his single-minded obliviousness. I like his gentle desperation at his “Eponine, do this for me.” I also like that the lyric here is “don’t let her father know” instead of “don’t let your father know.”

20. Red and Black - Eddie Redmayne as Marius Pontmercy, Aaron Tveit as Enjolras, George Bladgen as Grantaire (2012 movie)

Embarrassing as it is to admit, Eddie Redmayne is my favorite Marius. He’s emotional and, well, a noodle, but also very sweet and sings well and has a higher, lighter voice than most Marii I’ve seen. He’s young!  They’re all so young! And I like that Tveit’s Enjolras feels a lot less shouty here ; it's more accurate to Brick descriptions of his interactions with his friends, and reflects his kind of angelic vibe. And I definitely appreciate that Bladgen’s Grantaire’s mocking is a little softer here — he knows a thing or two about impossible love. I do love his little laugh when he says “it is better than an opera.” And that last “they will come when we call” makes me feel things.

21. Do You Hear the People Sing? - Michael Maguire as Enjolras (Original Broadway)

Sometimes you need an angelic Aaron Tveit, and sometimes you need a powerhouse Michael Maguire. Damn.

22. In My Life - Judy Kuhn as Cosette, David Bryant as Marius Pontmercy, Frances Ruffelle as Eponine Thenardier, Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (Original Broadway)

Kuhn’s Cosette has such a sweet voice, and you can hear her quiet fierce excitement in the beginning. She manages to sing Cosette’s high notes with softness and gentleness really well for the most part, although I’m not that fond of the sound on her “does he know I’m alive? do I know if he’s real?” high notes. Wilkinson’s Valjean seems gentler than some of the others I’ve seen, even on the “no more words” bit, and a lot of his negative emotion seems to be directed inward. Bryant’s Marius is in love, and sounds perhaps a bit too confident and a bit too old for my taste. No, what really stands out here is Frances Ruffelle’s Eponine. God, I love Frances Ruffelle’s Eponine. Starting off strong with that agonized “every word that he says is a dagger in me,” she sounds so young, with an almost-whiny, heartwrenching edge that reminds me the most of her Brick characterization, but she gets so gentle on her last “waiting here.”

23. A Heart Full of Love - Katie Hall as Cosette, Gareth Gates as Marius Pontmercy, Rosalind James as Eponine Thenardier (2010)

This recording picks up with James’ Eponine’s “waiting here,” definitely an interesting comparison. She sounds awesome throughout this piece, with a lovely warm alto voice. And I love love LOVE Katie Hall’s Cosette, with all her strength and sweetness. God, you can hear her smiling. She shines the most when she sings her softest lines, like “no fear, no regret,” “I'm awake,” and the last “after all.” Gates’ Marius is incredibly charming, but still absolutely an awkward mess, and you can hear him dying inside when he says “oh God, for shame, I do not even know your name.” The balance between all three of their voices is perfect.

24. Plumet Attack - Frances Ruffelle as Eponine Thenardier, Bernard Leo Burmester as M. Thenardier (Original Broadway)

Burmester’s Thenardier is properly scary here. Once again Ruffelle’s Eponine steals the show, belting all of her lines perfectly. Her “told you I’d do it” is haunting and perfect and brave in that oh-so-Eponine way, with a hint of petulance.

25. One Day More - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Terrence Mann as Javert, Judy Kuhn as Cosette, Davis Bryant as Marius Pontmercy, Frances Ruffelle as Eponine Thenardier, Bernard Leo Burmester as M. Thenardier, Jennifer Butt as Mme. Thenardier (Original Broadway)

Everyone starts out so soft, and they make this song build so perfectly and balance each other out impeccably. Ruffelle’s Eponine’s “one more day all on my own” bit rises above it all, and her voice sounds so clear and powerful and good. Also did you hear that loud and long “one day more!” out of Wilkinson’s Valjean? And Les Amis’ triumphant swelling chorus? Everyone here is superhuman, I swear.

26. Building the Barricade (Upon These Stones) - Michael Ball as Marius, Kaho Shimada as Eponine Thenardier, Anthony Warlow as Enjolras, Philip Quast as Javert (International Symphonic)

It’s mistitled as “At the Barricade” but I pinky promise it’s not. Ball’s Marius sounds genuinely concerned and touchingly pissed. Shimada’s Eponine is sweet and playful, and her “little you know, little you care” has very little bite, which I’m not sure I like. What I absolutely adore, though, is the bit where she delivers Marius’ letter to Morris’ Valjean. Shimada sounds suddenly shy, and Morris seems in full adopting mode. Something about this exchange just feels incredibly sweet to me. And then when Morris reads Marius’ letter, and his little pause in the “you love me as well” part is perfection.

27. On My Own - Frances Ruffelle as Eponine Thenardier (Original Broadway)

What can I say? Ruffelle’s Eponine absolutely kills it. She has a lovely husky voice that sounds sweet and sad and angry and powerful and broken all at once. I love the way she sings “in the rain, the pavement shines like silver” and “and I know it’s only in my mind, that I’m talking to myself and not to him” and “all my life I’ve only been pretending” and of course that “a world that’s full of happiness that I have never known.” The way she builds up from sweet fantasizing to absolute anguish...and then she breathes out those last “I love him”s and she sounds like the teenager Eponine is. God. I need a moment. Or several.

28. Javert at the Barricade - Terrence Mann as Javert, I can’t find the Gavroche which enrages me to no end (Original Broadway)

Mann’s Javert isn’t as dramatic as I’d like, but I’m here for Gavroche. I do miss the Les Amis dialogue that happens in newer versions of this song, but the older version of this song, which includes a lot more of “Little People” is better in my opinion because it makes Gavroche’s death scene all the sadder. I adore this particular Gavroche’s sassiness and spunk and his powerful voice.

29. A Little Fall of Rain - Frances Ruffelle as Eponine Thenardier, Michael Ball as Marius Pontmercy (Original London)

Ruffelle’s Eponine sounds so utterly vulnerable here, but with a hint of strange almost-happiness that reminds me of the Brick’s version of her death scene. Her voice feels lighter and sweeter here than anything else, and Ruffelle’s Eponine always has a different way of singing when Marius can hear her from how she sings when he can’t, and here we feel them merging together, especially at her “hold me now and let it be, shelter me, comfort me.” And I adore Ball’s Marius softness here, especially during the duet part. His “hush-a-bye, dear Eponine” is angelic. The whole song feels so intimate with them. This is always the point where I start crying.

30. Night of Anguish - Michael Ball as Marius Pontmercy, Anthony Warlow as Enjolras, Gary Morris as Jean Valjean (International Symphonic)

Somber all-around, and everyone’s voice is good. No performer sticks out that much, to be honest. I do get chills whenever the “Drink with Me” theme comes on in the background. And when Jean Valjean comes in, the rising terror of Les Amis becomes apparent, and all their voices are strong.

31. The Attack - David Burt as Enjolras (Original London)

Again, a plot song in between the big ones, so not too much to say here, but everyone sings well.

32. Drink With Me - Aaron Tveit as Enjolras, George Bladgen as Grantaire, Eddie Redmayne as Marius Pontmercy, Daniel Huttlestone as Gavroche Thenardier (2012 movie)

Just to warn you, the sound doesn’t kick in until a few seconds in. I absolutely love this version (once the generous poster re-added Grantaire’s solo, of course). I love Tveit’s Enjolras’ weariness and gentleness at the beginning, reminiscent of Brick Enjolras who loves his friends in his fierce and quiet way. You can hear the heartbreak in his “Marius, rest.” I love how Huttlestone’s Gavroche echoes Les Amis’ lines throughout the chorus — I’ve never seen that in any of the stage productions. And God, Bladgen’s Grantaire. He is so much more earnest here than others I’ve seen, and I appreciate that he gets quiet on “can it be, you fear to die?” as if he’s past defiant anger and is already grieving. He just has a clear, lovely voice. And although it sucks that the movie cut his solo out and it had to be edited in this way, I almost like how faraway it makes this part sound, as if Grantaire is still holed up in the Corinthe with his wine, looking down at his friends, half-awake and helpless. I appreciate that Redmayne’s Marius’ lyric was changed from “Would you weep, Cosette, should Marius fall?” to “Would you weep, Cosette, if I were to fall?” because it sounds a lot more like something someone would actually say. Also, this is another clip with video, and I’m really happy with how it looks, especially the way both Enjolras and Valjean are off to the distance and the way it pans to Valjean when Marius is singing about Cosette.

33. Bring Him Home - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (10th Anniversary)

Wilkinson’s Valjean starts out so quiet, with the perfect sweet spot of vibrato. Literally all of his high notes sound perfect and still expressive! I almost don’t know what to highlight, but just listen to how he decrescendos on that “I am old, and will be gone” and the power in that “if I die, let me die” and that absolutely ethereal last “bring him home” which he holds for so so long for a note that high for a tenor. This man has the range, darlings.

34. Dawn of Anguish - Anthony Warlow as Enjolras (International Symphonic)

Warlow’s Enjolras absolute grief and tenderness is absolutely heartwrenching. The way he delivers the line “we will not abandon those who cannot hear.” And that little “Drink with Me” reprise feels like getting stabbed. Whenever they end it with “if I die, I die with you” I stop breathing for too many seconds.

35. The Second Attack/Death of Gavroche - Daniel Huttlestone as Gavroche Thenardier, Aaron Tveit as Enjolras, Hadley Fraser as the Army Officer (2012 movie)

Huttlestone’s Gavroche is amazing. You can hear that he’s in pain but not even scared as he sings in a clear, powerful voice. Fraser also killed his “you have no chance, no chance at all” and I’m honestly surprised he didn’t get cast as one of Les Amis. And, of course, Tveit’s Enjolras’ “until the Earth is free!” could have singlehandedly killed King Louis-Philippe.

36. Dog Eats Dog - Bernard Leo Burmester as M. Thenardier (Original Broadway)

Barry James’ Thenardier might be the funniest, but Burmester’s will always be the scariest. His growly tones and big dynamic changes and dramatic enunciation really make this. The breathy way he says “when the gutters run with blood” and his powerful final “the harvest moon shines down” is beyond chilling.

37. Javert’s Suicide - Philip Quast as Javert, Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean (10th Anniversary)

Wilkinson’s Valjean here is the angriest I’ve ever seen his portrayal of the character. There is so much pent-up bitterness in his “I knew you wouldn’t wait too long.” Quast’s Javert is wonderful, as always. In his duet part with Wilkinson, with his half-feral “I will be waiting, two-four-six-oh-one,” both of them shine. And then during his main soliloquy, when he goes from snarling, “it is either Valjean or Javert!” to sounding so soft and lost as he begins the “how can I now allow this man to hold dominion over me?” bit. And at his “by granting me my life today, this man has killed me even so,” you can hear him making his choice to jump, and it’s awful, and it’s perfect.

38. Turning - Original Broadway Cast

Oh, this song is so underrated, and these people do a particularly amazing job with it. Their voices sound so tired and worn, sometimes old and rough, sometimes young and light, and all of them heartbroken. Their “where’s that new world now the fighting’s done” and the way they sing the round section is haunting and beautiful.

39. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - Eddie Redmayne as Marius Pontmercy (2012 movie)

I have to say, no one does this one like Eddie Redmayne. His Marius’ grief is absolutely crushing. I like how this arrangement goes super light with the instrumentals at first, and how Redmayne’s Marius starts off very soft. His “at the table in the corner” section gives me goosebumps every time, and he nails every single high note. And by the time we reach “phantom faces at the window,” he seems to be letting it out, and his “oh my friends, my friends, don’t ask me what your sacrifice was for” has me sobbing.

40. Every Day/A Heart Full of Love Reprise - Katie Hall as Cosette, Gareth Gates as Marius Pontmercy, John Owen Jones as Jean Valjean (2010)

Ah, Les Mis, killing me with the parallels once again. This version seems to go by awfully fast, but Hall’s Cosette and Gates’ Marius are properly sweet, and JOJ’s Valjean is gentle and sad and heartbreaking. All of their voices balance each other well.

41. Valjean’s Confession - Gary Morris as Jean Valjean, Michael Ball as Marius Pontmercy (International Symphonic)

I really don’t like versions that shorten this; I feel like Jean Valjean needs to be wordy here. In the Brick, he’s almost hysterical. Morris’ Valjean is so gentle, and you can hear the pleading and pain in his voice, on phrases like “she’s had enough of tears” and “to save his sister’s son” and then his voice is so powerful and despairing on “who am I?” and then when it gets soft..yeah I’m not okay. Ball’s Marius’ “it must be so” is pretty, but he doesn’t stick out that much compared to Morris’ powerhouse performance. Also, God the score playing “who am I?” in the background was just cruel. I love it.

42. The Wedding Chorale/Beggars at the Feast - Barry James as M. Thenardier, Gay Soper as Mme. Thenardier, Michael Ball as Mariius Pontmercy (International Symphonic)

James and Soper are just the right Thenardiers for the job. They are clearly having an extremely good time, and I love their sniveling and their scheming and their flamboyance. Ball’s Marius acts very well here too. I love his scoff at “do you think I don’t know who you are?” and his anger on Eponine’s behalf.

43. Finale - Colm Wilkinson as Jean Valjean, Randy Graff as Fantine, Frances Ruffelle as Eponine, David Bryant as Marius Pontmercy, Judy Kuhn as Cosette (Original Broadway)

I have no words.

[kaedekayano]

exhausted and sleepy right now ugh but before I'm off to work here's thoughts on yuri!!! on ice especially since ria wanted to know what I thought I'm mobile and too lazy to format properly so chunky paragraphs that should be bullet points but aren't bullet points it is!! anyway so it's a. good show. I actually do not have a lot to say quality-wise, the shows I watch are usually more fantasy/magic/sci-fi-based so I comment a lot on the worldbuilding but in this case not really. especially because I literally did not know shit about figure skating before this but now I know some things thank u for the information yoi it's v cute and v gay, viktor nikiforov is a flirtatious asshole and I love it. he is my #2 favorite I think, his eyes are A++ and he's so silly and dorky but charismatic as well and I appreciate that in characters. also if there's a season two I would love to watch him skate because what I did see of him skating is wow. also he is gay as fuck "want me to be your boyfriend?" "we're getting married after he wins the gold medal" "I don't want to kiss this medal because it's silver, what do you think I should kiss instead?" gay. I aspire to be that smooth around girls good lord yuri katsuki is a Good, I really liked his character development and also relationship development with viktor. he's very sympathetic and relatable and generally the kind of protagonist who's just easy to get along with instead of the "oh my god why are you such a fucking idiot screaming at the screen rn" kind of protagonist, what a sweet kid. 23/24 not a kid but whatever he's a cutie yuri plisetsky is my #1 favorite because he is pretty much exactly what I was like at 15, which is to say constantly full of rage and fury and relentless self-drive. ("But ange," you say, "you only turned sixteen back in September-" Yeah I know how much do you think I changed in five months. Answer: not much) anyway I love him he's so rude and such an asshole god bless. also I have a lot of respect for ambitious people who are willing to sell their soul to achieve their goals. #1 favorite trait in characters right there The other characters made less of an impression on me but phichit is cute. also I want otabek's motorcycle omg give me a motorcycle please. ("Ange Chinese traffic is shit and if you ride a motorcycle you will probably die." Oh well) Yeah. that's like it im sorry the other skaters were cool but I didn't care that much, might look into more on them later bc I know there's good meta and headcanons and whatever floating around also brown poodles are really popular in China and holy shit Viktor's poodle is enormous I would like to pet it also viktuuri is a blessing to this world? starts crying ;; omg. I wasn't sure I would like them because haha when was the last time I liked. a main canon ship instead of side canon or non canon ships. probably like, 2015. they are so adorable oh my gosh. again, the development is good and it's so cute aah would like to restate once more that I deeply appreciate viktor's eyes and also that I love my son yuri plisetsky a Whole Lot. I was kinda surprised they chose to have him win the gold at the end but ehh if anyone was going to be first instead if yuri then it would be yurio. I'm so proud of my son he works so hard and he deserved it god bless. also aroace yurio hc now and forever that's all. overall yoi was very cute, still overwhelmed by the size of the ao3 tag, would definitely watch a season two if they ever decided to have one but the ending is very solid!! Oh also on a side note for anyone wondering, this blog is still staying AC oriented because I'm too invested in this stupid fandom and if this garbage pile of a fandom itself hasn't changed my mind no other anime will. liveblogging / discussing other anime is fun and I'd consider opening myself up to bnha a bit more maybe but not until s2/more seasons r out because there's still a lot I don't know about the story from not reading the manga so alright sorry this post was very incoherent, I am very sleepy and will now go do my art homework

[fuck-customers]

It's One Damn Bagel!

I work at this bagel store and this old lady came in and I’m saying like “Hello! How are you? What can I get you today?” But she just glares and says “6 special. Sliced. 6 plain. Sliced.”

I shrug it off and fill her order. Since hand-slicing bagels takes a while, I’m still trying to be friendly like “isn’t the weather nice? How’s your day been?” She completely ignores me. I’ve dealt with ruder, so I hand her the bagels and think that’s that.

But no. 15 minutes before closing the phone rings. I pick up, and the old man on the other end asks, “Do you do a baker’s dozen for your bagels?”

“Yes we do, sir.”

“Then where’s my bagels?” He is clearly angry, and I’m thinking that we fucked up a major order or something since we supply bagels to other stores in town so I’m immediately worried and apologetic.

“Oh no are you missing some bagels? What happened?”

“My wife came home and there are only 12 bagels!” Whew it’s not a major crisis, so I’m relieved but of course I’m still being polite and doing the customer service voice™

“I’m so sorry about that. What can I do to help?”

He literally doesn’t acknowledge my apology or question. “Don’t you put in an extra bagel when someone buys 12 bagels?! My wife came home with only 6 special and 6 plain.”

I remember the lady from before (because it’d been like over an hour?), “Oh I’m really sorry. I remember filling that order, so that was my mistake, I’m so sorry.”

“Why didn’t you give her the bagel?! You get 13 bagels!”

“Yes, sir. It was a mistake.”

“Why didn’t you put in the bagel when she bought a dozen bagels!?”

“I apologize for that. I thought she was ordering a half dozen special and a half dozen plain, so the 13th bagel slipped my mind.” (Like?? I just. forgot. okay dude? The two are at different price points, almost no one orders a mixed dozen, and she never said she wanted a dozen in the first place! My crime was giving her exactly what she asked for.)

He’s just getting louder and angrier. And I’m trying everything to defuse the situation, “I apologize, is there anything I can do?” “I will be more careful next time. What would like me to do now?” “I’m really not sure what you want me to do.”

But he just goes on and on things like “My wife didn’t know you do a bakers dozen! You should’ve asked!” (like okay so I should’ve read her mind???) Then he gets even more condescending, “She got 6 and 6 that makes 12! And 12 is…?” like he’s teaching math to a 5yo.

After he dogs me with line of questioning 20 more times (it’s like 6 minutes to closing now), I snap, I should’ve just hung up, but I snap.

“I apologize sir. Next time I’ll just shove another bagel in!”

Now the guy is just shouting in my ear demanding to talk to my manager (who wasn’t there because he’s never the for closing) and threatening to call him later. He’s all “How dare you talk to me that way!” “You don’t have to be so rude! I’m only asking a question!”

But I don’t get paid enough for this bullshit, so I tell him that at this point its not a question it’s just harassment and that he doesn’t get to berate me for 10 minutes over a single bagel! Go ahead and call my manager dude!

So like FUCK that guy, but also fuck me cuz the boss is gonna be PISSED.

[novemberhope]

Falling Apart (Charlie x Adora)

Storming out angrily probably hadn't been the best idea. Staying in there, discussing everything calmly, probably would have been the better idea. Then again, have you ever tried to discuss something with a bunch of angry and drunk Slytherins? Well ... You get my point, don't you?

"It's ok", Angelina said, catching up with me and trying to stop me. "They're all drunk."

"It's not that late", I snapped and kept walking. It wasn't Angelina's fault, but still. I didn't want to hear any excuses.

"No, but they're Slytherins", she said, rolling her dark eyes.

Oh yes, they were Slytherins alright. I just got my dose of the typical Slytherin-bitchiness. Expect the bitch had come at me in form of Draco Malfoy, self-announced king of Slytherin. I felt my anger rise again just by the thought of it.

„And I’m so sorry", Katie added, walking on my other side. „I told Murray to make it more even. You know, invite more none-Slytherins. But he didn't listen."

„You don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything", I said to her, reaching the corner that led to the kitchen and the Hufflepuff common room.

„No, but I should have said something, too. I'm friends with the Weasleys, too. And I like you and that Sabrina girl. And it's certainly not nice to call people mudbloods."

„Just leave it, Katie", I sighed, coming to a stop in front of the common room. I didn't want to relive the whole nightmare.

„Well, at least Murray yelled at Malfoy", Katie continued, sounding proud.

Well, Murray was my cousin, so naturally, he felt insulted too when Malfoy turned from insulting my boyfriend and his family to insulting me and my family - which was Murray’s family, too.

Still, I'd never felt so humiliated and, well, betrayed in my life.

„You want us to come in with you, keeping you company until you've cooled down?" Angelina asked, sounding a bit worried.

„Thanks, but I’m fine", I insisted, not wanting them to witness anything embarrassing, like me bursting into tears.

Slowly, they turned and walked back the way we came, glancing back at me once or twice. I put on a smile, but as soon as they were around the corner, I let myself sink to the floor, already blinking tears away.

Then, the entrance behind me moved and I hurriedly got onto my feet again. Angela emerged, wearing her usual way-to-tight-outfit consisting of top and blouse. Cedric, my ex-boyfriend, came after her, carrying a pile of books.

„Are you crying?" Angela asked, suddenly all interested. „Why? Charlie broke up with you already? Well, personally, I always thought you're too boring. But so is he, so I thought that ---"

Gritting my teeth, I interrupted her before I lost my temper and actually killed her in the middle of the corridor. Not that anyone would miss her, but still, not a nice thing to do.

„Thanks for the concern, Angela, but Charlie didn't break up with me. Please let me pass."

Angela didn't move, but Cedric pushed her aside, since she was blocking his way, too.

„Just go wherever you have to go", he said to her.

Angela made a face at him, but since he was one of Hufflepuff’s prefects, she knew better than to argue and left.

„You ok?" Cedric asked. "Something happened at your cousin’s party?"

Well, it would be all over school anyway. Head girl got her ass kicked in front of almost every Slytherin. Big news. Might push Hairless-Julia right off people's gossip list.

„Yeah. Just a little argument."

I couldn't bring myself to explain the whole mess. Not without bursting into tears. I wanted a hug. Not from Cedric, but either from my boyfriend or from my BFF. My boyfriend hadn't been invited and was probably somewhere in Gryffindor Tower. And my BFF ... wasn't where I had hoped she'd be. Right here with me. Oh well.

„You're crying."

„No, I am not. Let me pass, ok?"

Cedric stepped aside, giving me a worried glance. This term, we've had a good start. Mary-Sue was gone and he'd obviously accepted that I'd moved on. He probably did, too.

I climbed through the entrance and found the common room empty. It was late and whoever wasn't out partying or studying was probably somewhere in their rooms, sleeping, or up on the astronomy tower, snogging and making out.

Good. Now I could cry.

I was already in my dressing gown when Zacharias and Sabrina came back. I heard them and even though I didn't want to, I went down into the common room again.

Zacharias had to support Sabrina, who wasn't able to walk by herself anymore. Neither was Zacharias; or at least he had to grab armchairs and tables and walls to support himself.

„Geez, you made a mess", he said, rolling his eyes at me. „Honestly, your stupid boyfriend wasn't even there. He'd have never known what Malfoy said anyway. So what's the big deal?"

„The big deal is that it wasn't nice what he said. And it wasn't true either. And sticking up for Charlie and his family was the right thing to do. It's what you do for friends and loved ones."

„Yeah, right, keep on preaching." He laughed at me, dropping Sabrina on the sofa. „Your so-called BFF didn't stick up for you, and neither did anyone else in that room."

"Murray did", I reminded him, pushing every thought of Keira out of my mind.

Maybe it was too loud and she didn't hear, a voice in my head said.

Oh yeah? Mishearing a discussion that took place for like 15 fuckin' minutes? another voice added, laughing at me.

Well, maybe ---

My thoughts were interrupted by Natalie`s boyfriend, Thomas, stepping out of his room, dressed up properly and eyeing us suspiciously.

„What's up, man?" Zacharias asked.

„What's going on?" Thomas demanded to know. „What happened to Sabrina?"

Sabrina sat where Zacharias dropped her on the sofa, giggling and making funny faces. I shot Zacharias a warning glance. Thomas strictly disapproved of alcohol and too much drinking.

„Well?" Thomas insisted, looking at us.

"Butterbeer", Sabrina giggled, dropping onto her knees and throwing up, missing Thomas's shoes just by inches.

I groaned, Zacharias grinned and Thomas hurriedly stepped back.

„Get her to bed and take care of her", he said to me. Then he turned to Zacharias. „Who gave her something to drink!?"

"Everyone drinks, just relax. It's a Saturday night. It's just Butterbeer, man!"

Butterbeer, mixed with whatever Murray and his friends had bought alongside with it. But I didn’t say that out loud.

„You don't get drunk from just Butterbeer", Thomas said icily.

„Obviously, some people do", Zacharias shot back. „Besides, I’m sure Murray cleared the party with one of the teachers."

"Murray Harrison, hm?" Thomas was already on his way to the door. „Well, he certainly did not clear the alcohol."

With that he left, and Zacharias looked at me.

„Where's he going?" he asked, which indicated how drunk he was himself.

„What do you think?" I shot back.

„Shit", Zacharias said, turned his back on me and walked over to his dorm room.

I was left with Sabrina who kept giggling. For a moment, I actually considered running after Thomas or warning Murray. But then ... House of idiots, Malfoy had called Hufflepuff earlier. Well, idiots certainly didn't know what to do in situations like this. But surely, almighty Slytherins were able to handle an angry Thomas and an even angrier Professor McGonagall.

What the hell. I hoped they were going down. All of them.

Sabrina curled up and drifted to sleep the minute I put her to bed. Natalie, her roomie, had woken up when I fell over some of Sabrina's shoes while trying to sneak in in the dark.

„I'll watch over her", Natalie promised, sitting up in bed and fiddling with her long braid. „How much did she drink?"

„Too much, apparently", I sighed, wanting to get away from Natalie. Natalie didn't approve of getting drunk either.

„She was at that party with you, wasn't she?" Natalie asked, looking over at Sabrina's bed.

„Yeah. Although I left before she did. Zacharias just brought her a few minutes ago."

Which will be all over school by tomorrow morning anyway. Not point to telling you the details now. Either you will get to hear the latest gossip or your boyfriend will certainly tell you what he did about the alcohol, I thought.

„So ... Were there many people? I mean, it was a Slytherin party, and they always celebrate in style, so ..."

Yeah. Right. They could celebrate in style all they wanted to. Without me.

„Yeah", I repeated, desperately wanting to get away from Natalie.

„Did you see, ummm, any of your classmates?" she continued inquiring.

I pressed my fingers together until it hurt. Of course I knew what - or who - she was getting at. But honestly, I didn't care.

„No, I did not see Marcus Flint, and I’m glad about that", I said, sounding ruder than I’d wanted to.

And I’d told the truth, I didn't see Flint. One less person to turn that party into a nightmare. Although Malfoy’s insults had worked so well, there would have been no need for another asshole anyway.

„Sorry, I didn't mean to ...“, Natalie started to say, and I quickly turned, making my way to the door.

„I know you didn't. Sorry I snapped at you. This isn't my night."

Or day or week or whatever. Too much homework, too much pressure, and, oh yeah, Charlie's upcoming internship at the dragon training center in Romania. Fuck Romania. I hated Romania already. And I still wanted that hug. Ignoring Natalie, I walked out without turning back.

I’d have found the way to Gryffindor Tower blindfolded, but I was thankful for my lit wand nevertheless. It was probably close to curfew now and I barely met anyone. I stayed away from the party corridor and hurriedly climbed the steps to the portrait that hung in front of the Gryffindor common room. The fat lady in it was fast asleep and snoring.

„Er ---"

I made myself stop. There was no point in waking up the lady and making her angry. I didn't know the password and unless Charlie came out miraculously, chances to talk to him now where next to nothing.

I turned and walked away, but apparently my footsteps had woken up the fat lady in her frilly pale-pinkish dress.

„You!" she sharply said. „Do you know how late it is?"

I blinked, holding the blue light on the tip of my wand higher, studying the portrait. I hadn't meant to wake her up.

Then I noticed she wasn't staring at me, she was staring at someone behind me. I turned around once more, stilling holding my wand up high.

One of the Weasley twins stepped out of the shadows, studying me. A few seconds of awkward silence passed. Ever since Keira and Fred stopped speaking, I, too, hadn't spoken to either Fred or George.

„What!?" the lady behind me shouted. „You want in? Come along, then! It's late and I need my beauty sleep!"

„You're a portrait", the twin said, rolling his eyes. „You can't get ... Err, well, you're beautiful enough, I think."

Apparently he didn't fancy spending the night in the icy corridor, in front of an angry portrait inhabitant, so he quickly changed whatever rude comment he had been about to give into something flattering. It apparently worked.

„Ah, well, thanks." The fat lady actually blushed and opened up the hole without asking for the password.

„No biggie." The twin passed me, reaching the hole. He was halfway in when he turned to me, looking at me expectantly. When I didn’t say something, he asked:

"Leaving, waiting for Charlie, going in, or what?"

Well, someone apparently didn't take it that well that I’d tried my best to stay out of his way the past months. I stepped closer. He was wearing his "F"-sweater over his pajamas, so it might have been Fred. Probably just coming back from sneaking around on the Astronomy Tower with that Ravenclaw girl. On the other hand, sometimes Fred and George switched their clothes. Could be George, coming back from making out with Lyssa on the Astronomy tower. Could have been me up on that tower with Charlie, if I hadn't gone to that stupid birthday party. I didn't even like my cousin, so why did I go? Oh, yeah, right. I had a best friend in that house. One who apparently didn't care if her so-called friend insulted me to my face. Oh crap. No crying. Please no crying. Not now. Not again.

The twin studied me for a moment, now holding his own lit wand in his hand.

„I'll get Charlie, ok?" he finally said.

I nodded, ignoring the curious questions of the fat lady and sat down on the floor. I didn't want to climb in after Fred - or George - and face whoever Gryffindors were lingering about in their common room.

A few minutes later, Charlie climbed out, wearing thick socks on his feet and his dressing gown over his pajamas.

„What is this!? Don't you people ever sleep!?" the fat lady groaned, slamming the hole shut again.

I got to my feet and Charlie pulled me into that hug I’d needed so much.

It was way after curfew, but I didn't care and neither did Charlie. We still sat in front of the fat lady - who kept complaining about us disturbing her sleep - and I’d finally stopped crying.

„It's ok, I’m fine now", I said, blinking. „I just needed ... don't know, I guess I needed a hug and a friendly face."

„You're head girl. You could have taken points from Slytherin for that."

„They'd have probably killed me right there if I’d tried that", I joked. „Besides, what's the point? It's over and done. They won't apologize anyway."

Not that I cared. I wanted them to stay away from me. Forever, possibly.

„What did they say, anyway?" Charlie asked, still holding me firmly.

„I told you."

„No, you just said they insulted your family and friends."

And you and your family, I added silently. But I couldn’t tell him that. Although Charlie wasn't the one to lose his temper - he only did that the one time we’d brewed that stupid love potion for Danny and Mary-Sue - his younger brothers might, if he told them. And also, telling everything would mean mentioning Keira, which I rarely did in front of Charlie. It was an unspoken law between us - he didn't mention Fred and I didn’t mention Keira and we stayed away from their problems with each other. But it was difficult enough. The twins were in my creativity-class now and usually, all the Weasleys sat together. Since I kept my distance from Fred and George, I once had to sit next to Angela for two very annoying hours. The last few times, Charlie sat next to me, far away from his brothers. Which probably didn't go well with them.

„I really don't want to go into details right now. I don't even want to think about it."

And I didn’t want to explain something about "verminous, lousy Weasleys" and other insults to him.

„It will be all over school tomorrow anyway", I added. „Trust me. Before your first class, at least ten people will have told you ten different stories."

„That's why I am asking you", he insisted. „To tell those ten idiots to shut it."

„They won't shut up anyway, so what's the point?" I asked, slowing getting up. The floor was hard and cold and it was freezing out here.

„I'll walk you back", he insisted, put his arm around my shoulders and walked me down the narrow stairway.

We walked all the way back in silence until we reached the Hufflepuff common room. The entrance was closed and the corridor was cold and silent.

„It will be fine", Charlie whispered, pulling me close one more time. „Your cousin will handle this. And so will Keira."

Great. I hated it to let others handle my stuff. Besides, Murray had only yelled at Malfoy which made the self-crowned king of Slytherin probably just angry - at me. And I still hadn't heard from Keira.

„I want my money back", I grumbled.

Murray, constantly out of money, had borrowed almost all of mine to throw his asshole-friends a big party. If I didn’t have that money back by tomorrow, I'd write his dad.

„If he's smart, he'll pay you back", Charlie said. „And don't worry. If they keep harassing you, I'll deal with them."

„I can deal with it", I assured him. „It was just a really horrible situation, standing there all alone, getting insulted. I probably should have just left. But I got so angry and ... They don't have the right to insult people left and right. But they do, and they always get away with it."

„There'll be always people to get away with everything. But you know, in the end, they don't matter. You have to ask yourself, if you've kept your mouth shut, what would you think of yourself now?"

„I'd be ashamed", I almost instantly said. „It's what I've learned from Hogwarts. It’s what Dumbledore wants us to do - stand up for what we believe in. Fight for what is right. We did so with Umbridge. And we took matters into our own hands when Lockhart kept going on with his useless ways of teaching in the Defence Against The Dark Arts class."

„I agree with you", Charlie said, holding my hand. „And you know, those weren't Umbridge. Those were just a bunch of drunken Slytherins. Everything will be forgotten when classes start again on Monday."

By most of them, maybe. By Murray, Malfoy and me - not so much. And whatever Thomas did, they wouldn't like that one bit. I'd probably get blamed for that, too.

„I hope you're right", I said, hugging him. "I’m glad I told Malfoy to shut up, even though he just kept insulting me. Thanks for listening to me whining, anyway."

„Anytime", he said, smiling at me. „And besides, I already knew you have a habit of overreacting a tiny bit when it comes to defending your friends."

I knew what he was getting at. Last year Murray kept talking to Keira about that Slytherin-Champion-thing, although it made her feel bad and even though she'd just faced a Hungarian Horntail which led to her being in the hospital wing for several weeks. After Murray ignored my warnings I tried to protect Keira by telling Murray`s dad some stuff about Murray. That didn't go well with my cousin and even Keira thought I’d overreacted.

But feeling a bit better and knowing I had at least one person on my side, I went back into the common room. For a moment, I got a glimpse of my pale face in the mirror on the wall. My eyes were swollen from crying and my hair looked even messier than usual. I didn't look like a Hogwarts Head Girl at all. But I’d acted like one. And despite everything, I felt proud.

I had been right. The next morning, it was all over school. And not to my favor, I might add. Everyone heard something, which wasn't enough to gossip about, so they made something else up, mixed it together and told it to someone else. It was horrifying to walk past the Slytherin table this morning, hearing them laugh and snicker behind my back. I didn't look at any of them but kept walking.

Cedric came up behind me and steered me to the Hufflepuff table. Someone yelled after him if he had lice, too, but he ignored it.

„It's true, then?" he asked, seating himself beside me.

„Oh, yeah, I’m sure each and every one of those stupid rumors is true. Like the one in which I used all three Unforgivable Curses on Malfoy. The only reason Malfoy's still alive is because he's really an alien and we all know they can only be killed by laser pistols."

I was, of course, referring to Mary-Lou and her crazy Alientheories which included Malfoy, Lockhart and Lupin being aliens and grass and laser pistols the only weapon against them.

„Oh, come on", Cedric said. "Like I’d believe any of that crazy stuff. I'm just asking if you really got into a fight with Malfoy."

„Wouldn't you?" I asked back.

But Cedric, oh so down-to-earth and sensible, shook his head. „Not worth it", he answered. „I'd just have walked away. People like Malfoy are never going to change anyway. No matter how often you yell at them."

„So you're saying I should have let them insult me?" I said, thinking he was probably right. My pride would have been hurt, yes, but I'd have survived. It would probably have been the sensible thing to do for the Hogwarts Head Girl - walk away.

But still, I felt that I’d done the right thing. Standing up for myself and my friends. Wasn't that important, too?

Lyssa leaned over, interrupting us and knocking over Elizabeth’s cup of coffee in the process. Elizabeth screamed and hastily tried to wipe off the coffee with her napkin. Hannah, who'd been sitting next to her, had to duck to avoid being hit by Elizabeth's elbow.

„Watch it, Ellie!"

„There's coffee all over me! Crap! That's my new skirt! Shit!!"

Eliszbeth continued screaming, the Ravenclaw students at the table next to ours started laughing and Hannah tried her best to cool Ellie down.

„Is it true?" Lyssa whispered to me, her baby blue eyes all round and curious. „That bad Draco-guy hexed you?"

I groaned. Bad enough everyone thought I’d practically killed Malfoy in front of all Slytherins. Now there were people around saying he hexed me into behaving like an idiot. I couldn't decide which version I disliked the most.

„Nobody hexed me", I said, perhaps a little more impatient than I should have. „We just got into an argument, that's all."

„That was an argument, all right", Zacharias said from behind us, walking in for breakfast and looking for an empty seat. „She made a total ass out of herself. In front of everyone. Murray shouldn't have invited her in the first place."

„I heard they were calling us house of idiots again", Hannah said to him, looking up. „Since you didn't defend us, maybe you agree with those assholes. Meaning you shouldn't be invited to any Hufflepuff parties anymore, either."

I looked at her and gave her a smile, which she returned. Although my friendship with Hannah wasn't as tight anymore as it used to be, she still stuck up for me. Unlike other people.

„Geez, get a grip, Abbott", Zacharias said, rolling his eyes and disappeared to the end of the long table, far away from us.

Then Sabrina walked in, looking tired.

"My head!" she groaned, sitting down on the nearest available seat.

„You were dead drunk tonight", I said, trying my best not to sound angry. If she hadn't been so drunk, the whole fight might not even have started.

„Was I? Don't remember. But my head's just about to explode. Please, give me coffee. Someone give me my coffee!"

Lyssa jumped up and this time, Elizabeth hurriedly grabbed her cup before Lyssa could knock it over again. Her elbow hit Hannah this time, and the cake Hannah was eating landed in her lab. Hannah gritted her teeth.

„Why it is impossible to eat normally at this table?" she asked, pushing crumbs off her skirt.

„Because we're the house of idiots, remember?" Justin said from the other side of the table, and the people around them started to laugh.

I had enough. Gulping down the rest of my coffee, I got to my feet, taking a last bite of my breakfast cake.

„Where are you going?" Sabrina asked.

„Just ignore them", Cedric said who was busy filling Sabrina's cup with coffee. „The comments will die down in a few days."

I still had enough, so I left the table, ignoring them.

Thankfully, the hallways were nearly empty. Since it was a weekend, people were either still sleeping or having breakfast or lazing around in their common rooms or the library.

Then suddenly Murray showed up behind me, looking annoyed. Gee. He'd probably had to fight off comments and remarks from his little Slytherinfriends all morning.

He handed me a bunch of notes and coins.

„There, take your stupid money", he said. „I borrowed it from Pucey until my dad sends me mine."

„So Keira told you I want my money back?" I asked, taking the money and thinking of the not-so-nice-letter I wrote to Keira hours ago when I couldn’t sleep.

"Keira? What? No, haven't seen her since the party. I just wanted to give that back to you so you won't come bother me again. Bad enough you send that wanker after us last night. Come on, was that really necessary?! My whole party was ruined, thanks to you!"

„What?"

Then it hit me. Thomas, of course. 

„I did not send Thomas after you!" I protested. „Once I was out there, I couldn't care less about your stupid party!"

„Yeah, right. He came right after you stormed out, making a total ---"

„Ass out of myself, yeah yeah blah blah woof woof." I rolled my eyes. „But maybe you better check your guest list next time. I might make an ass out of myself occasionally, but I’m not a snitch, and you should know that."

„Well, someone told him! And he's in your house!"

„The house of idiots, you mean?" I shouted back. „Well, guess what! I wasn't the only idiot invited. Sabrina? She puked right in front of him. Zacharias? He told him to his face where the alcohol came from."

„Yeah, and you let him ruin the party, didn't you? Bet you liked that, huh?"

„Shut up!"

„You know, that was the last time I invited any of you Hufflepuffs to my party. You really are just a bunch of idiots and losers and ..."

I let the money slip out of my fingers, trying to hit my cousin - something I hadn't done since we were little children, constantly arguing and fighting and trying to hurt each other.

„You're crazy!" he yelled, trying to push me away.

„And you're an asshole! All of you!" I yelled back, still trying to hit him. Lucky for him, someone grabbed my arm and forced me a few steps back.

Murray took a step back as well and started laughing.

„Don't get any lice, cousin", he laughed, turned and walked away in the direction of the Slytherin common room.

I turned, expecting to see Charlie behind me. Instead, it was one of the twins - again. This time, there was no indication which one it might be. And since Lyssa was at breakfast, I couldn't even guess that it might be Fred since George was rarely seen without his girlfriend.

„So, you're, like, what?" he said, letting go of me once Murray was out of sight. „Our knight in shining armor now?"

I gritted my teeth, bending down to collect the money from the floor. The twin sat down too and handed me a few coins.

„Did you really have an argument with Malfoy about whether we have lice or not?"

„Does it matter?" I answered back, stuffing the money into my pockets.

„Well, it's nice someone's sticking up for us for a change", he said, sounding a little strange. When I looked up to see his expression, he was grinning, which didn't really match what he’d just said.

„People keep telling me I shouldn't have", I said.

„Screw people. If it's what you thought was the right thing to do at the time, then it probably was."

„Maybe. Doesn't feel right anymore now."

„Forget the idiots. Come watch our practice and have some fun. Oliver told us he and Charlie tried to make you the new Quidditch champion."

„Yeah, right. I'm glad I managed to stay on the broom."

„Like I said, you need practice."

For a moment, it was tempting. Running off with the twins and probably Lyssa, having fun, like old times. But old times were gone. And hanging around with the twins again would just complicate everything. Plus, one of them had acted like a real asshole.

But not to you, a voice in my head said. You can have fun with them. Keira won't know.

She will know, another voice said. And besides, does it matter who he acted like an asshole with? You were all into about what's right just a few minutes ago. And it's certainly not right to run off with the Weasley twins right now.

„I can't", I said, getting back onto my feet, looking everywhere but at the twin in front of me. „I've got ... you know, stuff to do. Homework. Writing a letter to my mom."

„Okay." He stood up as well, taking a step back. „So I guess we're back to not speaking, huh?"

„Guess so." I shrugged. I hated not speaking to them. Or not having fun with them and Lyssa and Keira anyone. But people change. Maybe we all had changed. Everything kept falling apart.

„Well, next time someone calls us lice-ridden, poor idiots or whatever else, just ignore them."

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving me standing in the middle of the hall, feeling like crap.

The days that followed weren't exactly the best ones I’d spend at Hogwarts so far. Mostly, I hung around with Charlie, Bill, Oliver, Sabrina and Julia. The twins had gone back to staying out of my way and so did Lyssa, and the letters I exchanged with Keira were anything but friendly. She'd been in the bathroom and had only come back during the end of the fight, seeing Murray and Malfoy yelling at each other and me leaving with Katie and Angelina. So it wasn't her fault at all. Still, I needed to be bitchy and she was the only Slytherin around, so she got her fair share of my bitchiness in my letters and responded equally. We've never had a fight before, and I felt horrible. Right now, I was in the cooling-down-phase, but it would probably take some more time until our letters would be back to being nice and exchanging gossip.

Bill and Charlie hadn't said much about the whole thing anymore, which I was thankful for. However, Oliver, of course, loved it and made a great show out of putting his arms around me and walking past groups of snickering Slytherins with me, daring them to say anything so he could start a fight with them. However, most of them didn't rise to the challenge. Something I was glad for, too.

„I don't want to be dragged into your personal war with Slytherin", I once said to him, shrugging his arms of my shoulders.

„Honey, you're already right in the middle. Just enjoy it. I do!"

„Well, I don't. I wish I never went to that stupid party in the first place."

"Come on, isn't it fun to put Slytherins in their rightful place?"

„If it's not done for the right reasons, then, no", I snapped back. „Those three girls you just shouted at? They weren't laughing at me or you. Keep going like this and we've got a war going on, like the one we had in my first year here."

„They're just Slytherins", he said, clearly not getting any of this.

„And you're a ..."

Racist, I wanted to say. That's why we call you Oliver Asshole Wood behind your back.

But all of that was something Keira and I shared, and I started to miss our friendly letters again. So I just went off to Hufflepuff, leaving Oliver behind.

Sabrina kept apologizing for causing the whole thing by getting drunk.

"I’m sure Montague got me drunk on purpose", she said. „Maybe they planned this all along?"

I doubted that. They'd all been pretty wasted, which made it all the clearer that I just overreacted.

Julia was angry, too.

„We all got busted when we had that wild party last year", she said to us. "Remember? The one where Michael kept flying around on his broom in the common room, knocking a painting off the wall? But strangely, they didn't get into trouble for having anything other than Butterbeer at their party and getting all wasted and insulting people."

„Well, Snape's their head of house", Bill said. „And when it comes to his own house, he usually turns the blind eye."

„Great, and we're stuck with McGonagall who gave us detention and talks about the dangers of alcohol and forbade us to go into Hogsmeade for the rest of the year. Just great! We should do something about that. It's only fair. Adora, Charlie, you're Head Girl and Head Boy. Go talk to Snape!"

I grimaced. No fuckin' way in hell I’d ever go talk to Professor Snape!

„Just leave it, ok?" Charlie said to her. „Snape's just going to get us in detention. Besides, maybe Thomas didn't go to a teacher. He might have just ended the party himself. We don't know that."

„I heard Flint's benched for the upcoming opening match against Gryffindor", Sabrina said.

I sighed. „But certainly not because of the party. I mean, Malfoy and Murray are still playing. And I didn't even see Flint at the party. He didn't do anything. At least nothing I know of."

„Well, then the whole things remains a mystery", Julia concluded. „Anyway, I’m pissed. I want to play in the opening match!"

„You're a substitute player", Oliver said. „I told you. In an important match I can't let substitutes play. We have to crush Slytherin. I already told that to Marisa – who’s still pissed because she actually thought I’d let her play keeper and sit on the bench myself. As if! I’m the captain here, and to draw up the roster is entirely my job."

„I hope you do crush them", I sighed, trying to interrupt him, not bothering to remind him that Marisa was actually his second-in-command and should have a say where the lineup was concerned. And as for the game Gryffindor against Slytherin … well, maybe Potter could knock Malfoy of the broom. I'd certainly love that.

„You're coming to watch us?" Charlie said when we were alone.

„Actually, I don't think so", I answered after I considered it for a moment. „Too many unfriendly faces out there. Plus, I don't want to see the Slytherins."

„You can't stay in here all by yourself. Everyone will watch the game. Just ignore them. You can sit with our team down at the pit if you want to. You know, withholding Julia, Marisa and the rest from killing Oliver for not letting them play."

„Nah. I'll stay in. But you go out there and play. Crush them, like Oliver said. I'm sure you'll win."

No way I’d go out there. I'd probably jinx the whole game, making Slytherin crush Gryffindor. Besides, I just didn't want to see them right now.

Charlie shot me a worried glance. „I can stay in with you", he finally offered.

„What? You're on the squad! I saw the lineup Oliver put up at the notice board! You have to play! You're one of the best and Oliver expects you to play! You can't stay in!"

„It's just a game", he said. „They're good. They can win without me. Julia wants my spot anyway."

„You could get benched for that for the entire season!" I exclaimed. No way I’d let Charlie miss the game because I messed up with the Slytherins. Bad enough I had my problems. But I didn’t want to drag my boyfriend into this as well.

„I don't care", he stated, looking all serious. „But I care about you. You're not feeling well and I don’t want to leave you all alone in here."

„Nothing is gonna happen to me in here."

„You're in this situation partly because of me. Because you thought you had to defend me."

„That was my choice. I made my bed, I can lie in it."

„Are we really going to argue now?" he sighed, coming to a stop in front of a door.

„I don't want to argue", I said, looking up at him. „I want you to play and win. It's as simple as that."

He didn't reply, and I thought I’d won that battle.

The day of the opening match was, as usual, a Saturday, and a rainy one at that. Thick grey clouds hung over the castle, and wet and white fog lingered over the Quidditch pit. The mood was gloomy and people were discussing if they should or shouldn't attend the game at breakfast.

„I'll go! I have to see Georgie play!" Lyssa exclaimed happily, jumping up and down and knocking over someone’s coffee - again.

„Watch it!" Ernie complained, whipping coffee off his trousers.

„Georgie got a few new moves!" Lyssa explained to us, ignoring Ernie.

„You should get a few new moves, too", Ernie grumbled, getting up. „That coffee thing gets annoying, you know."

Lyssa ignored him. She was so exciting about seeing George play; she probably hadn't even noticed the spilled coffee.

I wondered if I should get over myself and see Charlie play after all. But when a few laughing Slytherins passed our table, I decided against it. Besides, Keira and I still weren't on speaking terms. We wrote only short letters consisting of accusations and defending ourselves. That wasn't how it used to be between us. I didn't want to see her or Murray play.

One hour later, the fog was nearly gone, but it was still raining.

„I think I'll go", Hannah said, grabbing her canary-yellow Hufflepuff-raincoat. „It's the first match of the season, after all."

„You should come, too", Ernie said to me. "Charlie's playing today, isn't he?"

„And Georgie's playing too!" Lyssayelled, trying to hug everyone in her excitement.

"Cool it down, Rushmore!" Ernie snapped, stepping away. „If I hear about George Weasley one more time before the match starts, I’m going to scream!"

"Know what I heard?" Sabrina said, strolling into the common room. "Flint will play chaser today!"

„I thought he got benched?" Justin asked, looking up from buttoning his coat.

„Apparently, the ban is lifted for whatever reasons." Sabrina grabbed an umbrella who someone just threw into the corner. She looked at me. „You coming?"

„I, uh, no, I don't think so", I said. „I don't like rain."

„You don't like to face them", Angela said, storming out of her dorm, wearing some supposedly-sexy raincoat-thingy who just looked ridiculous.

„Shut up and leave her alone", Sabrina stepped in. „And better change before McGonagall sees you running around like that. You look like a girl on a street corner, trying to get laid despite the rain."

„Eewwww!"

Laughing, Hannah and some others covered their ears while Angela stormed past us, looking pissed.

„You sure you ok here?" Sabrina asked when people were already leaving the common room to go down to the Quidditch pit.

„I'll be fine. I've got some reading to catch up with anyway. Just make sure you cheer for Gryffindor, ok?"

„Well, I’m sure as hell not going to cheer for Montague who got me drunk!"

I ignored that, not wanting to get into a discussion about just saying no to drinks, and Sabrina followed the others outside. There. Now I was left alone.

I tried to concentrate on my book but after ten minutes staring at the same page without reading one word, I gave it up. I could hear screams and cheers from outside. Maybe Gryffindor was leading the game and their fans cheered. Or maybe it was the other way around.

My thoughts went to Keira and her first real game as a regular player. I should have been there, cheering her on and showing support. Not for Malfoy and Slytherin, but for her. But I couldn’t bring myself to get up. After all, she didn't come to cheer me up a few days ago.

Just get over yourself, I tried to tell myself. You can't be mad forever. You miss the letters and the friendship. Besides, it wasn't really her fault.

Then the entrance opened and I jerked up, startled. Angela strolled in, dripping muddy rainwater all over the thick and soft carpet.

„Hey, watch out! You're ruining the carpet!" I scolded her.

„So what?" she snapped. „The houseelves can clean it tonight."

„You're rude! And besides, what are you doing here? What about the game?"

„Well, as far as I know, Gryffindor took the lead from the beginning. Slytherin barely stood a chance. Where's your boyfriend, anyway? I saw his name listed on that piece of parchment on the notice board, but he wasn't playing today. He wasn't on the bench either."

„What?"

„But anyway", Angela continued, ignoring me. „McGonagall is such a prude. She send me back in and ordered me to change and forbade me to watch the rest of the game! Can you believe it!?"

Actually, I could. Angela looked like she wore a minidress made out of raincoat-material, at least three sizes too small, with her boobs nearly spilling out of the top and the wet material riding up in the back. Of course a teacher would send her to change.

„Errr, just change, ok?" I tried, avoiding a pointless argument about her dressing style. „And dry yourself up. The houseelves might clean it tonight, but the others won't like stepping around puddles of water all day."

„Those are not puddles!" Angela protested. „It's just a few drops ... Ewww, I got dirt on my boobs!"

Muddy water dropped from her hair right onto her nose and from there down on her nearly-exposed boobs.

„Just change!" I urged her. „And I'd throw that ... dress ... away if I were you. Otherwise McGonagall might do it for you. Where did you buy that, anyway?"

„Fancy store in Poland! Anyway ... Where was your boyfriend!?"

I rolled my eyes, ignoring her question. What Charlie did or didn't do, it was certainly not Angela's business. However - it was a good question, actually. Were *was* he?

Angela tried to talk to me some more, but I said something about going to the bathroom and left her alone, probably drowning the carpet in mud and dirty water. Well, I didn't care. I went straight over to Gryffindor Tower, but the fat lady wouldn't let me in.

„My boyfriend might be in there", I told her.

„I don't care", she said. „You don't have the password, you can't come in."

I gave it up. Besides, why would Charlie hide up here anyway? When we talked about him not playing, he said he'd to that because of me. Him hiding in his room with no way for me to get in would be a pointless thing to do.

I went back to Hufflepuff, pausing in the corridor, not wanting to spend time with Angela. I could wait in the corridor for Charlie trying to find me. If I went in, he wouldn't be able to reach me.

Then it hit me. He would probably wait somewhere where I could find him. Like the library, or ... or ...

I started running, but since everyone was at the game, I didn't met anyone of my run all the way to one of the top floors where I kept walking past the same old wall over and over again, until, finally, a door appeared. The Room of Requirement, only known by the twins, Keira, Charlie, Lyssa, me and maybe a few others, had shown himself. I hastily opened the door and stepped in.

Charlie sat on the sofa, smiling at me.

„Took you long enough", he said.

„I wouldn't have known if Angela hadn't been send inside. She told me you're not playing."

He frowned. „I told Lyssa to tell you ..." He paused. „Oh."

„Yeah ... Next time, tell someone who's a bit more ... reliable?"

We grinned at each other, then I walked over to the sofa.

"Charlie, why aren't you playing? Is Oliver actually ok with this?"

„Dunno. Tried to talk to him yesterday but he kept saying no. So I decided not to show up."

I blinked. „What!?" I managed to say after a short pause. „You just didn't show up!? But this is your team, and you could get benched for the rest of the season, and ..."

„And you're my girlfriend and if I get benched for the rest of the season, just think about all the time we can spend together. No more practice, no more games ..."

„You're crazy!"

„Yeah, for you. You got into this mess defending me and my family."

„Yeah, but that has nothing to do with you not playing. I made a choice, and ..."

„And I made mine. I'm not Oliver. Quidditch is a fantastic game, but there are things more important. It's all about, well, standing up for something. And supporting someone."

I could help myself, I just burst into tears. Which was a pretty lame thing to do, I guess, but there I was. Crying.

Charlie stood up, trying to pull me closer. He probably thought I was crying about the Malfoy thing again. Which I wasn't. I was just ... well, touched.

„I love you", I sobbed.

He hugged me, and for a moment, we just kept standing here.

„Oh, I know that", he finally said. „But it's nice to hear you say it for once."

I wiped away the tears. It took me long enough to say it, that was true. I just ... well, I guess I’d waited for the right moment to finally say it out loud. And maybe this had been the exact right moment.

„I knew it would be worth not playing today", he added, pushing a strand of my tangled-messy hair behind my ear.

„I know I should have said it sooner ..."

„No, you shouldn't. We said we'd take it slow, remember? Until you're ready. Until we're both ready."

„I think we are", I said, smiling up at him.

„I think so, too", he answered, smiling back.

The rest of the morning passed like a blur. We were kissing and touching and talking and cuddling and I felt ready to face the world again.

When we both got hungry, we realized how late it was. Lunch was probably over by now, and so was the game. Whoever had won would already be celebrating. Today was a perfect day.

„I don't care what everyone thinks", I stated, standing next to the door, straightening my skirt. „I think I did the right thing in standing up. And I’m glad I did it."

„Good for you." Smiling, Charlie reached for the doorknob. „So, what are you doing later today? Fancy hanging around here again? You know, me avoiding Oliver, you avoiding angry Slytherins?"

„Sounds perfect", I said, a big happy smile on my face.

But before that, I had to do something else. Like writing a big happy long letter to someone who deserved it. Apology included.

With that thought on my mind, I walked all the way back to my common room.