#me and sarah got each other Christmas gifts without even discussing it

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Sophias Indecent Proposal

“Two coffees please, decaf” asked Sophia to the guy behind the cart, a few moments later, 2 steaming hot cups were presented, with Sophia handing over the cash to the seller.

She walked back over to the park bench to meet with Josie, who at this point was 7 months pregnant.   It was a cold February morning, but that didn’t stop Sophia’s twins and Josie’s daughter playing in the park almost like they were siblings.

The mothers were wrapped up warm, but the coffee helped cool off the winter chill.

“As much as I love these little impromptu playdates” Josie said “I’m sensing you have something to tell me”

“Uh Huh” acknowledged Sophia, taking a sip from her coffee cup.  “You know its Johns birthday soon…”

“Yeah”

“I was wondering if you would help me with his present.”

“Oh, sure… what is it you want to get him.”

“I want John to have a bumpjob.”

Josie almost spat out her coffee.   “A what…?”

Sophia was almost giggling with the response “You know… his cock, your belly… jiggling” she announced, her latino accent which she still hadn’t lost after all the years living with John making the statement sound more innuendo filled than it should have been.   “Honestly, John loved it so much when I was pregnant.   I mean I know I had twins in me… and I was BIG as a result… but he’ll love it when you’re doing it to him.”

“And how’s this going to be your present to John.  I mean, I’m the gift in this case” asked Josie, her smile giving away the fact that she had already basically agreed to do it.

“Oh I have a nice surprise for him at the end… Jo… I’m pregnant.”  Josies smile and subsequent hug all the evidence needed that she was elated at the news.   “I only took the test a few days ago… I mean I was 3 weeks late, and lets just say we had a fun time at Christmas this year.   So DON’T you go telling people, you hear!”

Josie grinned, running her finger past her lips and motioning as if to fasten a lock.   Mumbling without opening her lips so it was quite hard to understand “my lips are sealed.”

The group had shared each others beds many times in the past, Sophia, her husband John, Josie and her husband Steve, so as much as this proposal wasn’t really something that was unusual to either of them.

Roughly a week later, on the day of John’s birthday, he had taken both their and Josie’s collection of kids out for Ice cream, with them all going to Sarah’s for the evening on the pretense that Sophia and John were going to have an evening of intimacy for his birthday, and Josie was going to have an evening of being pampered by Steve just because she was pregnant, and she deserved it every now and again.   Of course Steve was well aware of the true plans for the evening, Josie sharing her meeting with Sophia with him pretty much as soon as she walked back through the door after the discussion at the park.

Josie settled herself down on the edge of Sophia and Johns bed, peeling off her clothes she sat in front of Sophia in her lingerie.

“Look… I know this is for John, but considering what you’re showing here in front of me… I want you girl” Sophia practically purred as she looked Josie’s form up and down.

Josie took a moment to run her hands up and down her body, stopping at her breasts which she bounced and grabbed, then running her hands down to her belly.  “Always room for a threesome after you give the big reveal” she smiled wickedly.

Suddenly there were sounds of the front door opening as Johns keys were pushed into the lock.

“Action stations” giggled Sophia as she shouted “come upstairs babe, got a surprise for you” as she sat down on a chair in the corner of the room.

John didn’t waste any time in coming upstairs, but stopped short when he saw the occupants of the room.  “Hi Jo” he grinned, her lingerie clad body enough of an obvious indication of what had been planned.

“Happy birthday baby… I know how much you liked playing with my pregnant body when I was full with the twins… and its been years since then… so I got the next best thing… this gorgeous lady… all for you to enjoy.”  Sophia was smiling.  John looked from face to face, and Josie’s expression mirrored Sophias.   

“I want your hard cock rubbing your cum all around this big baby belly” she cooed “get me all hot and heavy… aw fuck, I’m already  heavy, get me hot”   she took some lotion from a bottle placed next to her and squirted it onto her bump.  “You first job is to rub this in.”  John approached with his hands outstretched.  “Hold up… not with your hands.   Only cock to bump contact.”

Johns trousers gave way to the evidence that this was turning him on, his bulge was growing massive.   Zipping down his fly and undoing his button, his trousers dropped down.   He kicked them off and tugged down his boxers, finally exposing his manhood for the two ladies in the room.   He hadn’t taken off his upper garments, but he dived in anyway, holding this now fully engorged cock against Josie’s bump and using the head of his cock to trace patterns with the lotion.

Josie leaned back and groaned, one hand behind her holding her weight, and the other cupping her breast as she played.   The hand that had been playing was placed gently on top of John’s as she directed the cock in figure eight motions around her belly button, which had popped out.

Sophia lept up from her chair and moved behind John, lifting his tee shirt up.  “You’re going to get messy, lets not ruin this top, I like it.” Josie momentarily let go of Johns hand so he could lift it up to help with the removal of the top, but her own hand then clamped back onto Johns cock like it was her personal plaything… I guess for the moment it was.   The slick liquid that she had coated her belly with was now covering Johns cock, and she ran her hand up and down the shaft, twisting at the end like she was masturbating with it, but it remained constantly pressed against her pregnant belly.

“I need you to hump my hand John” purred Josie, which he obliged, thrusting his hips against the O shape formed by Josie’s fingers.   The ‘shlick, shlick’ sound music to her ears as John pushed back and forth.   “Sophia, do the honours please”

“But of course my dear” announced Sophia as she moved around to behind Josie, removing the clasps from the bra portion of her lingerie and whipped it off, Josies ample breasts flopping down onto her belly.    John reacted with delight at the new target, forcing his cock up to rest between Josie’s breasts when she let out a ‘tsk’ sound.   “Naughty naughty… on todays menu is a bumpjob not a tittyfuck.   Down boy.   These are mine.”   She emphasised the point by leaving go of Johns cock and pushing her weight forward with her other hand, both now free to grab a nipple each and start rolling them between her thumb and forefinger.

Sophia dived in and took over control of Johns manhood, sliding the cock, now leaking precum in each movement back down to Josie’s belly button.

Sophia recognised the tensing in John’s movements, knowing he was close to the edge.

She leaned in and licked his cock which twitched in response, he almost lost it right there she thought.

Sophia leaned in and placed a sensual kiss on Josie’s lips, moving 1 hand to take place of Josie’s on her breast, Josie in turn placing her now free hand on top of Sophias guiding Johns cock.

Josie squeezed Sophias hand, which in turn tightened around John, and pushed out her belly.

“I’m cumming, I’m cumming… fuck me” John blurted out a fraction of a second before his cock shot out several long streams of creamy cum all over Josie’s belly.

Josie started rubbing the sticky mess all over her belly.  “That’s 100 percent prime baby making juice right there daddy.”

John wasn’t quite aware of what was said, he just knew there was something important with that sentence.   Taking a second to regain his focus, he looked at Sophia who smiled.

“John, I’m pregnant, happy birthday daddy!”

[spkdnailbats]

.

[fashournalist]

Thank you, Isentia Content Hub: An open letter to my colleagues.

Eleven days ago, it has exactly been two years since I first started working at Isentia. I remember feeling scared whether I’d belong, and what kind of people I’ll be working with. I remember I kept telling myself “Bawal maattach, Grace, as some alumni have said, when you enter the real world, you’re there to work. Just do your job well and be a team player, but don’t invest your emotions.” But here I am, after two years, with so many beautiful memories with amazing people. I did get attached after all, and it’s worth it. Because I did not only have colleagues, I met a new family.

This was my open letter to Content Hub, which I hesitated to send at first after writing, because it’s too long. But thankfully, two of my teammates encouraged me to send it because they said what matters is I wrote it from my heart and it’s my farewell message to my friends. (I was one of the employees who got laid off.) It was here that I learned tears are really contagious, because after sending this letter, I received texts saying they shed a tear, too. Perhaps that’s because when I wrote it, I was shedding tears myself. Why do I feel like graduating from high school? Haha! I guess this is how close we have been. So here goes my letter, and pictures of some of the memories we have made. :)

Dear Content Hub,

This August 20, it has been exactly two years since I started working at Isentia. And now, 731 days and 41,283 summaries later, I just finished my last working day as a Broadcast Monitor. Permit me to be cheesy, I just want to thank the amazing people who made the past two years a memorable journey. I apologize in advance for the length of this email, but please know this letter came from my heart.

I'm really blessed that I got to work with you. I did not only have colleagues, I had a family. That is why whenever I reached the office, my update to my parents has always been "Happy place". It meant I arrived safely, I'm at OSMA already. And I know there have been hardships, times heartbreaking news crushed me, or times I went home way past my shift. Yet whenever I was on my home, no matter how tired I got, I just looked forward to facing the next day and working again. If world news were a play, we all get front row seats, binge-watching current events for at least 40 hours a week. It genuinely excited me that our job allows us to literally learn something new every day. But, I don't feel that way all the time; sometimes I just have burnouts and frustrations. So I think the real major reason that kept me going through it all is I had colleagues as supportive as you guys are. Allow me to thank you.

To Sydney Swans, my first team. 

Working with helpful teammates like you added to my motivation as I traveled from LB to Ortigas every day for five months (when I was not yet able to find an apartment in Manila). Thank you for your devotion to Qld Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk. It showed me what client-obsessed looks like, and I committed to following that example. Your compere inside jokes and reactions to news added a lot of fun to our job. Until now, I enjoy backreading the group chat just to see your new musings or memes. Thanks a lot especially to John, Julianne, Zennon, Marco, and Kuya Ronnie.

To Fremantle Dockers, my afternoon shift team for more than a year, 

Thank you for everything; for being supportive colleagues, helping me whenever I struggled, and celebrating with me whenever I improved. 

Kuya Coily’s last day at our team.

How we help one another, especially during the Christmas dinner just so everyone can go to Sambokojin on time, inspires me. This was our post-Sambo bonding at Greenfield. I am also relieved that you never judged me as “walang pakisama” even though I only drank iced tea or milkshake haha. Others tend to force me to drink, but my friends at Isentia just let me finish all the food. HAHA. I appreciate people who can respect our preferences and differences. And you are witnesses that I don’t need to drink to be drunk. Based on my energy, I am drunk by default. Haha I will miss all these sessions with you and my batchmates!

I will miss our movie nights and billiard sessions (tho I'm just watching you haha) at the lounge. I wish we played more board games, too.

Isentia Outing 2019

Thank you so much also for being there for me when I lost my mother, you had my back and that will always mean a lot to me. When my Momi was still alive, she always knew I was working with great people. Thank you to every single one of you especially AJ, Morris, Evann, Aly and Kuya Mel. 

I look forward to a Dockers reunion when this pandemic is over! 

And my favorite teammate, Czesar. The best meetings are the ones you participated in. Thank you for all the laughter you gave us. 

I also want to thank my friends outside my team, including Tomie, Zendee, LA and Nico from Collingwood Magpies. 

Thank you for the dinner sessions and conversations on life and dreams!

This was LA’s birthday salubong at Kanto Breakfast :) While the next photo is a “panel discussion” at Goto Believe haha! We talked about the news we monitored, and boi, we went home at almost 5am.

Tomie, thank you for our never-ending laughter on our way home. Normally, I just want to be quiet and regain energy while traveling, but with you, it's okay to chat all the way to Quiapo.

To my favourite comperes, who will not read this but I feel like thanking anyway because some of you might share love for them: Marc Fennell, Jan Fran, Kanoa Lloyd, Jules Schiller, Sonya Feldhoff, Anna Vidot, Dave Sutherland, Tamara Oudyn, Sammy J, Paul Barry, Jeremy Corbett, David Speers, Leigh Sales and my inspiration Jesse Mulligan. Thank you because I learned so much about the world and about life from you. I will miss blogging about your stories and reacting to your insights.

To the leaders who managed me and/or accommodated my concerns, 

This is my former TL, Kuya Coily :)

TL Coily, TL Angel, TL Rem, TL Nico, TL Nic, TL Jonna, TL Geoff, TL Alni, and Sup Mitch. Thank you for all your help! Thank you for the times you inspired me and my colleagues to grow as well as the times you coached me, gave constructive feedback, and helped me overcome my weaknesses so I can continuously improve. 

To our Trainer Rachel, who we can consider as Content Hub's matriarch, 

thank you so much because you patiently equipped every single one of us before we transitioned to live operations. To OM Dean, thank you for your feedback and praise during my regularisation.

And most of all, to Western Borlogs fam, my home for two years, I don't even know how to thank you enough. 

I'm grateful you've been my batchmates at our training--and for everything after that. 

Isentia Outing 2019

Sibyullee, farewell samgyup party for Jai (her last day in the company)

Seoulgyupsal, farewell samgyup party for Aiona (before she flew to Spain to teach)

office memories :)

Pantry catch-ups. I usually eat at my desk because of all the work but I’m grateful for the times I was able to join their dinner breaks hehe.

Sambokojin, Christmas dinner 2019

Dear Borlogs, thank you for all the memories, endless laughter, samgyup sessions (a regular segment haha), Friday nights, and times we comforted each other when some of us are facing a hard time. Thank you also for comforting me and my family when you and B visited the wake of my Momi. She has always heard about you (and I'm happy she met some of you) when she was still alive. Thank you for being such a great sounding board, a safe space where we can be vulnerable and strong at the same time. Also, I've never been a milk tea person until I met you guys, so thanks for that, too. My BM experience would not be the same without you. Naz, Janelle, Joey, Patty, Billie, Lou, Aiona, Jai, Nee, Mau, C, Ady, Sarah. Thank you, sists!!

If you've read until here, thank you for bearing with my lengthy cheesy, farewell note to Content Hub. I attached some photos that captured a few of the memories I spent with you, as well as some jokes I've randomly thought about while monitoring. I was reserving them for Christmas Party or something, but anyway, here they are. I am confident they will make you cringe.

So there, I will miss you and I appreciate you always. I will not forget the memories we've made along the way. Thank you for everything, Isentia Content Hub! God bless you all and stay safe.

Arrivederci :)

Always,

Grace / Mariel

(this was me when I graduated from training and was so excited to be part of Content Hub haha)

PS. Thank you to Janelle, Jai, Joey, Jai, Kuya Coily, LA, Zendee, Dots and Troy for the photos!

PPS. Thank you so much for your heartwarming replies!!! And the food/gifts some of you sent!! I love you guys. (There, I said it. Haha! I was too shy to put that sentence in the email I sent. But this is my blog, I can write what my heart says without holding back)

^letter from AJ with a Bebi plant. She sent me oatmeal cookies and three novels too huehue she knows my weaknesses well haha thankuu ajj

^Matchaaaa from Patty thank you sist! <33

^Carbonaraaaa from Tomiee thank you siz!!!

Thank you to every single one of you. I was emotional when I wrote the open letter, but I got more nostalgic when I read your responses. I will always be thankful for the privilege of working with you and being your friend. Keep in touch, okay? We’ll still meet again. :)

Love,

Grace

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 50

Chapter Summary - Tom decides to get the last few bits of shopping, and hopes bringing Emma with him will clear the air, leading to arguments between the usually close siblings. While that occurs, Danielle decides to go trail biking, but with her mind on Tom and the situation with Emma, she is not paying full attention to her surrounds, leading to potentially dangerous outcomes

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously

After 100,000 words we are finally to chapter 50, what will happen when Emma is finally confronted.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog  @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @lys-syl @youcantcatchafallingstar

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

“Tom?” Diana looked at her son, “Are you alright, Sweetheart?”

Tom forced himself out of his head. “Yeah, I am just thinking about what I need to do today.”

“And what does that include?”

“Get one or two more things, wrap a few presents and see if Danielle wants to go out for a while, you?”

“Well, I saw her walking off a while ago with Mac and her bike, so I think she will be gone for a bit, I have to get a few last bits for the dinner tomorrow, do not tell me you left gifts until the last minute again?”

“Mum, that was three years ago, I was working until the day before Christmas Eve and I don’t know why you are going on about it, I got you that nice perfume you have not stopped wearing since.”

“It is true. What have you gotten Danielle?”

“I got her a surprise,” he replied cryptically.

“Thomas, please tell me you have not waited until last minute to get that girl her present.” His mother half pleaded.

“I haven’t.”

“Thomas…”

“I have most of it.”

“Oh for goodness sake Tom, you are just like your father.”

“Well with the hours she works, how do you know Elle has anything done for me?” He challenged with a cheeky smile.

“Do you honestly think that that pathetic attempt at getting me to tell you what she got you will work?” Diana laughed, causing Tom’s face to fall. “Not going to happen son of mine, and with regards what she got you, she has it gotten with a month.”

“You know what it is?” Tom asked excitedly.

“But of course I do. I am the matriarch of this family, I keep an eye on everything.” his mother smiled.

“What is it?”

“Do you think I would tell you?”

“Is it good?”

“It is exactly something you would love.” she declared, “That is all you are getting, so get your ass in gear and get the rest of hers.”

“Right, I’ll ask Em if she wants to come.” Tom grinned, walking back into the house. Diana nodded in approval as she went about her own business.

*

“What do you think?” Tom asked excitedly as he held up the item in hand.

“It’s a scarf, Tom.” Emma snapped back. “Is that all you are getting her or am I going to have to endure this for the day.”

Tom looked at the scarf for another moment, having checked online to see if it was even available in shops and not from ordering online and was elated when he realised it was for sale near his mother’s. Making the decision to add it to Danielle’s gifts he already got her, he turned and brought it to the till. When he paid, he walked out of the shop and went back to his car without waiting for Emma. With a sour face, Emma got in next to him. “What the hell is your problem Emma, you need to spit it out now since you didn’t have the decency to speak to me or Danielle regarding it before now, instead you just act like a spoilt brat. We get it, it is a little weird for you, but are you actually that spiteful that you would allow yourself to be the reason that not one, but two people you say you care about be unhappy?” he started up the car and revved the engine before driving towards their next stop.

“Neither of you asked me,” she started.

“Why would we, what would we even ask? We are two responsible adults, we can’t ask anyone about how we feel for one another, there is nothing to ask. We wanted to tell you ourselves, same as with mum, but she got to you first, and for that, I really am sorry, that is not the way to find out, but for fuck sake Emma, we are not going to stop loving each other just because you are getting bratty.”

“She was my friend, you had the choice of every woman in the world and you chose her.” Emma shouted at him, tears in her eyes, “It ruined everything, I thought I had one friend that actually cared about me, and was not trying to use me to get to you, and now I can’t even have that.”

“‘Was’? So that’s it, she is cast aside because, in addition to being your best friend, she is not permitted to love me, is that it? Your friends cannot love more than one Hiddleston, there’s a fucking quota because you know how mum feels about her, and how she feels with regards mum, why is that different to her and me?”

“Because one of you will fuck it up, and she will never speak to me again.”

“So, because we are not perfect, cut her loose before she leaves, is that the plan? She adores you Em, she sees you as a sister.”

“Well, then she shouldn’t have even considered you then, should she?”

“She never saw me and Sarah the same way she saw you, she adores you, and you doing this is breaking her heart.”

“Not enough for her to stop it.”

“If you dare ask her to, then you don’t deserve her friendship. No real friend would ever make such an ultimatum.” Tom growled. “And the mere idea you would do that to someone I love sickens me.”

“You are with one another a few weeks, it’s not love, Tom.”

Tom pulled in and glared at her. “I do not need to explain myself to you, but here it is, I have been in love with Elle since before your wedding,” Emma stared at him in shock. “It was in the preparations for which, when I was spending more time than I ever had before in her company, I realised she was the most amazing, brilliant and beautiful woman I had ever known and when I saw her in that dress, I, to this day, regret not pulling her aside and kissing her. I love her Emma, and she says she loves me too, and I believe her, so stop being a selfish bitch and ruining everyone's Christmas. As Elle had to say to me not too long ago, get over yourself.” Emma said nothing for a minute, instead she just stared out the window. “And why the fuck do you think this would ever end, much less in a manner that would mean your friendship being in jeopardy?”

“Because you sabotage every relationship you ever had, well the ones before Taylor, that joke doesn’t count. As soon as you get the first hint of trouble, you run, and this time, you cannot, Elle lives next to mum, you can’t avoid her when this is done.”

“I don’t want it to be ‘done’, I love her, I have not loved anyone in years.”

“You loved Susannah.”

“We were young and wanted entirely different things in life, I loved her, but not like I love Elle, we were not compatible.”

Emma scoffed, still looking out the window. “And you think you and Elle are?”

“We’ve spoken about what we want, and yes, they are somewhat similar, I know she prefers the country, yet she knows I need to be near the city, so I will happily move to a leafy suburb if it would make her happy and make the commute into town when needed, we discussed that and she was happy with it,”

“And I can imagine the whole kid's conversation going so smoothly.”

“Two,” She turned to face Tom. “Well, I wanted three, but she doesn’t want more than she has hands to hold, so,” he shrugged.

“You spoke to her about this?”

“Yes, you don’t seem to be getting this Emma, I want to be with her, I want with her what Ben and Sophie have, what you and Sarah both have, I want that, and Elle is the only woman I have looked at and thought that she would be the one I will have that with, that she is who I will be happy with, every time I am with her, I feel so much like how I used to be before all the world was staring, normal, happy. You would have noticed if you bothered to even speak to us, to be around us. I genuinely thought you would be happy for us, she has been so hurt that you have given her the cold shoulder, that you won’t talk to her.”

Emma sighed. “I’m sorry.” Tom looked at her. “I’m sorry I got bratty, are you happy?”

“That is not what you have to apologise for Emma.”

“I am sorry I did not simply voice my upset and went and said what I said.” she clarified, “Better?”

“Yes.” Tom indicated for the car to go back into traffic again. “We care about you Em, we wanted to talk to you about this.”

“Well, hearing from mum wasn’t the best way to find out.” She looked out the window again. “I can’t believe you talked about kids. Danielle never said whether or not she wanted any.”

“What? She doesn’t want kids?”

“I never said she didn’t want any, I said she never made mention of it either way. Oh my God, she could end up marrying you and being my sister-in-law.”

“You’ll be a shoo-in for maid of honour.” Tom joked.

“If that happened, she could end up having your baby.” Emma looked him up and down in disgust.

“Would that be a bad thing?” Tom laughed.

“My best friend, pregnant with my brother’s baby, what do you think?”

“Well as said brother, if it were to happen in the future, I would think it would be a very happy thing.”

“It’s weird, Tom.”

“I promise you’d be Godmother.” he smiled.

“Over Sarah?”

“Yep.”

“Fine.” Tom looked over to see Emma looking at him with a big smile on her face, “I’ll apologise to Elle when we get back.”

“She will cry with happiness Emma, she misses you so much, she feels lost without you there.”

“What can I say, I am just that fabulous.”

“When you are not being an annoying little brat, you might just be.” Tom smiled, relieved to be finally able to have Elle and Emma talking again, and in turn, hopefully, lift that dark cloud he had noticed over Elle.

*

Danielle knew she was pushing herself too much, she knew she was going too fast, too deep in the woodland and that she would ache more for it tomorrow, but frustration and hurt built and built, until finally, she was splashing her way through the woodland trail, mud staining her face, arms and legs, and if she could see the back of her cycling jacket, that too.

Emma had asked she have her brother for a time, there was nothing wrong with that, she had had him for a fortnight straight, but the idea of spending Christmas day away from him and everyone else she considered family, hurt; she felt incredibly isolated and alone. She had distant relatives in Ireland, but they were never close, so why would she go to them. Perhaps for a while, she and Tom could go for a walk, she wanted to give him his present, she would only have to wait and see.

She realised then that Mac was not in front of her any longer and turned her head slightly to see if he was behind her, seeing him in the distance, she pulled on the brakes to get the bike to stop, but her peculiar angle caused the bike to skid sideways. Putting her hands out, she fell to the ground with a painful thud, the sound of Mac barking frantically as he rushed over to her and the clouded sky above her the only two things she could focus on as she lay there.

[trashcanreddiefan]

The 4th Annual Losers’ Club Christmakkah Celebration 2/2

Summary: The Losers gather for their fourth annual Christmakkah celebration, and this time Richie and Eddie get a Christmakkah surprise.

Word Count: 3240-ish for part 2. (LOL each story got progressively longer)

Warnings: Usual Trashmouth swearing.

Author’s Note: Post-Chapter 2. All of the Losers are alive in this fic, including Stan, because canon can suck it. Final part in the series, unless I get some other ideas. Part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here, beginning of 4th part here.

CROSS-POSTED AT AO3.

The next three weeks flew by and before Richie knew it, the day before Christmakkah had arrived.

Earlier that day he and Eddie had finished setting up the baby's room, hung the stockings they had monogrammed with each of the Losers & Jr. Losers' names on the fireplace, and pre-made a broccoli-rice casserole and 4 different kinds of pie.

He, Bill, Stan, Patty, Bev, Ben, and Mike were all sitting in the living room, watching Olivia and Burke play with some toy cars when the doorbell rang.

"That must be Bill & Audra," Richie said. "I'll get it."

He walked over to the door and opened it. "Hey guys," he greeted Bill and Audra before scooping Max up in a hug. "Max-a-million, how are you, little dude?" 

Max squished Richie's cheeks together with his tiny hands. "Fishy!"

Richie immediately sucked his cheeks in to make fish faces at Max, who giggled.

"Come on in," Richie said before calling out towards the kitchen, "babe, Bill and Audra are here!"

"Coming!" Eddie replied. "Just gotta get these pies out of the oven!"

"Eds insisted on making the pies himself," Richie explained. "No store-bought pies for him."

"You don't know what kind of artificial crap they put in the fillings," Eddie said with a huff as he joined them in the foyer. "Homemade just tastes better."

"My own little Betty Crocker," Richie joked.

"Unca Ed!" Max screeched happily, reaching his little hands out to Eddie.

"Hey guys," Eddie greeted Bill & Audra before taking Max from Richie. "And hey there, Max! How are you, buddy?"

Richie grinned. It always warmed his heart to see how great Eddie was with kids. He wasn't even jealous that Eddie was Max's favorite uncle -- especially since Richie was Olivia's, much to Stan's consternation.

"Burke and Olivia are here, you want to go play with them?"

"Yeah!" Max clapped his hands.

"Sorry we're late," Audra said. "Max took a longer nap than anticipated today."

"It's fine," Richie replied. "We're all just sitting around and are just gonna order something in for dinner tonight anyway."

"We went ahead and brought the gifts over tonight so we wouldn't have as much to bring tomorrow," Bill said. "Richie, you wanna help me bring them in?"

"Yeah, sure man."

Richie and Bill walked out to Bill's car, each grabbing a box full of gifts and bringing them in.

"Hey, everyone," Bill greeted.

"So, Richie, Eddie was telling us you guys finished the baby's room," Audra said as Richie set his box of gifts down next to the tree.

"Yeah, we finished painting last week and got most of his decorations up, and the furniture was delivered yesterday," Eddie replied. "Which is good, because we wanted to finish the room before the holidays since we're going to be busy until after the new year."

"You guys went with a sea life motif, right?" Patty asked. 

"Yeah, Richie actually found this cute crib set with a bunch of turtles on it, so we centered the theme around that."

"Have you decided on a name?" Bev chimed in. "I want to get something monogrammed for him."

Richie huffed out a laugh as Eddie narrowed his eyes at him. "We're still discussing it."

Eddie scoffed. "Only because someone keeps insisting that we name him Edison!"

"Well excuse me if I want to name my son after the love of my life--"

"OHHHHKAY!" Stan interrupted. "So still working on that, gotcha. Well, now that Bill and Audra are here, how about we order some dinner? It was a long flight and I'm starving."

********************************************************************

After dinner, Richie put on A Muppet Christmas Carol for the kids to watch while the adults sat and talked.

He got up from where he had been snuggled against Eddie. "I'll be right back."

"Okay," Eddie replied.

Richie walked into the kitchen when Eddie's phone, which had been sitting on the counter, suddenly started to ring.

Without even looking at the caller ID Richie answered. "Y'ello?"

"Yes, is this Mr. Edward Kaspbrak-Tozier?" the voice on the other end replied.

"This is his husband, can I help you?"

"Oh yes…" She paused as if checking something. "Richard?"

"Yep, what can I do you for?"

"My name is Monica, I'm from the Los Angeles Center for Women. You're listed as the contacts for a Sarah Peters?" 

"Yeah, she's our surrogate."

"Mr. Kaspbrak-Tozier, I'm calling to inform you that she's been admitted to the hospital in labor--"

"We'll be right there," Richie said then immediately hung up. 

"EDDIE!" he yelled as he ran into the living room. "Sarah's in labor. Hospital. Now. Gotta go." 

Eddie looked up at Richie in surprise then jumped up. "Ok, ok, you get the hospital bag, I'll go start the car."

Richie ran upstairs and grabbed the bag they had packed for the hospital, silently praising his husband's tendency to prepare weeks in advance.

He ran downstairs to find all the Losers gathering Eddie in a hug.  

Ben pulled him into the group embrace. "Go welcome your son, guys."

"Let us know when he arrives, no matter what time it is," Stan added.

"We've got things handled here," chimed in Bev.

Richie sniffled. "Thanks, guys."

He and Eddie made their way to Eddie's Acura RDX. Not only had Richie insisted that they take his vehicle over Richie's Mustang because of course Eddie had bought the SUV with the highest safety rating, but Eddie also had a built-in knack for being able to avoid traffic on the freeway by taking back roads, so it made the most sense for him to drive. 

Plus Richie was too nervous to drive, but he wouldn't admit that. 

He ran a hand through his hair. "Sarah's not due for another two weeks, how the hell can she be in labor now?"

Eddie glanced over at Richie as he pulled out of their neighborhood. "Pregnancy isn't an exact science, Rich. It's all about estimated dates and whatnot."

"Holy shit, holy shit, we're about to have a kid, Eddie." He huffed out a breath. "A living, breathing human that we'll have to take care of and raise."

Eddie reached over and grabbed Richie's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You'll be a great dad, Richie."

They made it to the hospital in record time, Eddie throwing the car into park and grabbing the bag before he and Richie ran into the hospital.

The nurse at the reception desk looked up at them. "Yes, may I help you?"

"Yes, we're here for Sarah Peters, she was admitted a while ago? She's our surrogate," Eddie explained. "We're Edward and Richard Kaspbrak-Tozier."

The nurse typed a few keys on her keyboard. "Ahh, yes, she's in room 226. Go around to this left side and take the elevator to the 2nd floor, you'll find Labor & Delivery. Someone will check you in."

Richie and Eddie made their way to the second floor, getting passes at the Labor & Delivery reception desk.

Eddie gently knocked on the door to Sarah's room, hearing a 'come in' before opening the door. 

Richie followed behind.

Sarah sat in a hospital bed, IV in her arm and heart monitor wrapped around her stomach. She smiled when she saw them. "Hey guys, you made it."

"Hey, Sarah, how are you feeling?" Eddie asked, moving to look at the monitors. "Richie hung up on the nurse before he asked any questions."

Richie listened as Sarah explained what had happened -- she was at her sister's house when her water broke, so her sister had driven her to the hospital and would be with her while she gave birth. "Apparently it's going to be a while, so she went downstairs to get something to eat and will be back in a bit." 

A few minutes into their visit, a nurse came into the room. She stopped when she saw Eddie. "Eddie? Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you! What are you doing here?" she said with surprise and glee.

"This is my baby-- Well, my husband's and my baby," Eddie explained. "Sarah's our surrogate."

He turned to Richie. "Rich, this is Nikki, remember I told you about her? We were in nursing school together."

"Oh yeah, I remember you mentioning her. Hi," Richie said.

"Oh my gosh, you must be Eddie's husband! He's told me so much about you. Congratulations!"

"Thanks. We're very excited."

"I bet!"

Richie sort of tuned out while Nikki explained more in detail about Sarah's progression. "Ok, I'll be back in a bit to check on you, ok? Congrats again, Eddie. Richie, nice to finally meet you!"

"You too."

Shortly after Nikki left Sarah's sister, Beth, came back. "Hi, you must be Richie and Eddie. It's so nice to finally meet you two. Sarah's talked about you guys a lot."

"Thanks," Richie replied. "Nice to meet you too."

They stayed with Sarah for a few hours, stepping out of the room around 11 PM when the doctor decided to let Sarah get some rest since she hadn't progressed much.

They walked to the labor & delivery waiting area and found a couple of seats in a quiet corner.

"Um, so I guess we need to actually decide on a name," Richie said once they got settled. "I was looking online this morning and I think I found one we can both agree on."

Richie told Eddie his name choice and nervously chewed his lip while Eddie mulled it over.

Finally, Eddie nodded. "Ok. But I choose his middle name, no arguments."

Richie smiled. "Okay."

*********************************

Shortly after 6 AM, Richie was abruptly shaken awake from a doze. "Whazzat?" he mumbled.

Eddie was kneeling in front of Richie, holding 2 cups of coffee. "Rich, honey, it's time. Sarah's about to start pushing."

Richie sat straight up. "She is?"

Eddie grinned. "Yep." He handed Richie one of the cups. "Here, I went downstairs to the coffee shop."

Richie gratefully took the cup. "Oh, bless you. You're an angel, Eds."

Eddie stood up and took his seat next to Richie, linking the fingers of his free hand with Richie's. "Just think, we'll get to meet our son soon."

Richie beamed at the thought. "Still okay with the name we chose?"

Eddie nodded. "It's perfect."

About 10 minutes later, Nikki came into the waiting room and walked straight towards them. Richie and Eddie both stood when they saw her. "Is he here?" Eddie asked.

Nikki broke into a grin. "Yep, he's here!"

"Can we see him yet? How's Sarah doing?"

"Give it about 20 minutes while we finish cleaning the baby up and getting his vitals, but both he and Sarah are fine."

Eddie nodded. "Okay, just please let us know when we're able to go see him."

"Sure will. Congrats again on your baby boy, guys!"

Once Nikki had left, Eddie pulled their bag out from under his chair. "I'm gonna go clean up a bit and brush my teeth before we go see the baby. I'll be right back."

"Ok," Richie replied. "I'll let everyone know that the baby is here."

With shaking hands, he sent out a text to the Losers group chat. Guys, he's here. Eddie and I have a son!

Stan, who was usually up early even when he wasn't 2 time zones away from his norm, was the first to reply. Congratulations, guys. We'll all swing by once everyone's awake.

Ok, sounds good, Richie replied.

Eddie came back pretty quickly, so Richie grabbed his toothbrush and went to clean up as well. Not long after he came back, Nikki came back into the waiting room. "Ok, Dads, you guys ready?"

Richie grabbed Eddie's hand and gave it a squeeze. They followed Nikki back to the room Sarah and the baby had been moved to, where Sarah was holding a tiny bundle.

Sarah gave them an exhausted, but soft, smile. "Hey guys, come meet your son."

The second Richie laid eyes on him he burst into tears. 

Eddie, whose eyes were also glistening, wrapped an arm around Richie as they peered at their child. 

Sarah held the baby out. "Want to hold him?"

"Rich? You want to hold him first?" Eddie asked.

"No, you go ahead," Richie sniffled. "I'm so shaky right now that I'm afraid I'd drop him."

Eddie gently took the baby, who made a displeased noise at being disturbed.

Richie gave a watery laugh and looked over Eddie's shoulder. "Aww Eds, he's just like you -- small and angry."

Eddie gave him a fond glare as he gently rocked the baby. 

"So did you guys pick a name?" Sarah asked.

Richie and Eddie looked at each other before Eddie smiled and nodded. "Yeah, we did."

Sarah grinned at the name. "Aww, that's perfect."

Eddie turned back to Richie. "Rich? You ready to hold him?"

Richie, who had calmed down somewhat, nodded. "Yeah, I'm ready."

Eddie passed the baby to him. "Here you go, sweetheart."

Richie held back a gasp as the baby's eyes blinked open and he gave a tiny yawn. "Look, he's looking at me! Well hello there," he cooed. "Oh my God, I love you already."

He sat down next to Eddie on the couch. "Here, let me take your picture with him," Beth, who had been sitting in the chair next to Sarah's bed, offered.

Eddie handed her his phone and scooted closer to Richie, wrapping one arm around Richie's shoulder and placing the other on Richie's leg. 

Richie moved his arms so the baby's face would be in the picture and tilted his head next to Eddie's. "Our first family photo," he murmured.

Beth took several pictures -- one of Richie and Eddie looking at the camera, one of them looking at each other over the baby, and another of them both looking at the baby.

She had just handed Eddie his phone back when Richie felt his vibrate in his pocket.

"Everyone's awake," Eddie reported. "Bill wants to know if they can come meet the baby."

Richie chuckled. "Sarah? You up for our crazy family to come by?"

Sarah nodded. "Yeah, actually I'm feeling pretty good right now. I got a good bit of sleep before the baby came."

Richie watched as Eddie texted back an affirmative and the room number.

"Ok, they'll be here in about an hour. Just gotta finish getting the kids dressed and wait for Bill and Audra to pick them up."

"In that case, I'm going to run home for a bit, shower and change," Beth said. "I'll be back."

While they were waiting for the Losers to arrive, the hospital administrator came by to have the necessary paperwork regarding the baby's birth filled out. All of the paperwork regarding the surrogacy and parental rights had already been completed, so Eddie filled out the form for the baby's birth certificate, listing himself and Richie as the baby's parents. "There, now you're officially a Kaspbrak-Tozier, aren't you?" Richie cooed to his son. 

He had just handed the baby back to Eddie when there was a knock on the door.  Mike's head poked in. "Hi, can we come in?"

"Mike, hey, yeah," Eddie replied. "Come on in."

One by one, the Losers and their offspring filed in. 

Olivia ran over to Richie and plopped a small blue giraffe in his lap. "Unca Ichie, we 'bought a 'raffe!" she said.

"You did?" Richie said with faux surprise. "Is that for the baby?"

Olivia nodded.

"Aww well thank you, I'm sure he's going to love it."

"This is Sarah, our surrogate," Eddie gestured toward Sarah with an elbow. "Sarah, this is our rather unconventional family."

"Hi," Sarah said. "It's nice to meet you all."

The Losers all greeted Sarah, inquiring about her well-being before turning their attention to the baby.

"Everyone," Eddie said with a smile, "meet Edwin Richard Kaspbrak-Tozier."

Richie grinned at the collective 'aww' sounds all the adults were making.

"I absolutely love his name, guys," Beverly added then grinned. "Now gimmie my nephew."

Eddie laughed and handed him over, letting Beverly sit.

"Oh my goodness, he's adorable." Beverly looked over at Sarah. "I just want to tell you thank you. You have no idea how much we all appreciate what you've done for Richie and Eddie."

Sarah nodded. "My parents had me via a surrogate, so this is my way of paying it forward."

After everyone had a brief turn to hold Edwin, they gave Richie and Eddie hugs and filed back out silently, careful not to wake Sarah, who had fallen asleep not long before.

"By the way, happy anniversary, you two," Audra whispered as she handed Edwin back to Richie. "Looks like you guys got the ultimate anniversary gift."

She gave Richie and Eddie each a kiss on the cheek, gave Edwin one last touch on his hand, and bade them goodbye before leaving.

Richie adjusted Edwin in order to cradle him in his other arm. "Shit, Eds, in all the excitement about the baby arriving I forgot to tell you you happy anniversary. I was gonna surprise you with breakfast in bed this morning."

Eddie shrugged. "I don't know about you, but to be honest this is way better than anything I had planned in order to celebrate our first anniversary."

Richie couldn't help but smile as he looked down at his and Eddie's child. "Yeah, it really is, isn't it? Audra was right. We really did receive the ultimate anniversary gift today."

Eddie leaned in and gave Richie a sweet kiss. "Happy anniversary, Rich."

"Happy anniversary, Eds."

****************

Richie and Eddie both had cried when they arrived home with Edwin the day after Christmas and saw that everyone's gifts were still under the tree and a freshly-prepared Christmakkah dinner was on the table.

"You guys waited for us?" Eddie sniffled.

"Well, yeah," Ben had replied. "It's not Christmakkah without you guys -- and now Edwin too, of course."

They had eaten, Bill and Mike insisting on taking care of cleanup since the other, 'culinarily capable' adults had taken care of the cooking. "Nope," Bill had said when Eddie protested their refusal for help. "You guys were such a huge help when Audra and I came home from the hospital with Max. The least we can do is repay the favor."

Afterward, when everyone had gathered in the living room to open gifts, Richie had been surprised to see an extra pile of presents next to his and Eddie's.

"You guys all got Edwin something?" he said in awe.

"Of course," Stan had replied as if it were obvious. "Can't let our nephew celebrate his first Christmakkah without gifts."

Now one week later, all the Losers had gone back to their respective lives until the next family gathering in March for Max's birthday.

Richie and Eddie sat quietly on the sofa together, Richie's arm around Eddie's shoulder and Edwin fast asleep in Eddie's arms after his early-evening bottle.

As Eddie snuggled against Richie's side and they both watched Edwin sleep peacefully, Richie reflected on just how complete his life was with his husband and their son. "I love you so much, Eddie," he murmured, turning his head to press a kiss to Eddie's temple. "I'm so lucky that I get to live this life with you."

"I love you too, Richie," Eddie replied. "There's no one else I'd rather spend my life with."

If Richie sent up a prayer of thanks to a magical turtle later that night while his husband and son slumbered near him, well, that would be his secret.

[twoguystrybbq-blog]

Arthur Bryant’s Barbeque

Ben:

I feel like I should be embarrassed that I hadn’t yet tried Arthur Bryant’s. It is, after all, what I’d consider one of the few major heavyweights of Kansas City barbecue. Along with Arthur Bryant’s, we’ve got Joe’s, Gates, Jack Stack… and that’s about it. As we’re seeing, there’s no shortage of world class barbecue outside of those few, but they remain the titans of the scene -- the most well known and long-respected barbecue joints.

And I had never been to Arthur Bryant’s. Hell, I don’t even think I had tried the sauce, which is ubiquitous at all Kansas City Price Choppers (“P-Chops,” if you’re cool). But to be honest, I think I subconsciously always had my reasons. The logo reminds me of Famous Dave’s -- a barbecue chain I’d loosely consider the Chili’s of barbecue. The aesthetic of Arthur Bryant’s is simple; they’re not making an effort to attract me as a customer. There’s no cool gimmick about the location (compared to, say, Joe’s at a gas station). There’s only a couple of locations in Kansas City (compared to Gates, which has six). For whatever, reason, Arthur Bryant’s had always avoided my radar.

Until now. This would be our first stop at a heavyweight of Kansas City barbecue.

We had decided earlier in the week to hit up Arthur Bryant’s, and Leo told me “go hungry.” Per custom, that’s never a problem. What am I going to do, pack in a country breakfast before eating world class barbecue? Of course not; this isn’t my first rodeo and thankfully isn’t even close to my last.

We visited Arthur Bryant’s for a late lunch on a Saturday after, you guessed it, a night of over-serving ourselves the night before. But, in our defense, I offer two credible reasons for our drinking. 1) Hungover hungry barbecue is absolutely the best barbecue; and 2) it would be irresponsible to not purchase three-dollar shots.

In any event, I skipped breakfast, and by the time Leo arrived at my apartment around 2:00 pm, the hunger was something fierce. I left Gracie a fresh bone to occupy her time and we were off into the rainy Kansas City afternoon.

My first impression of Arthur Bryant’s is everything I’d expect: in an old but large building and a line out the door. The line is, of course, a good and bad sign. The good: the food is so good people are willing to wait. The bad: I was starving. I peeked inside to survey the line and was pleasantly surprised it wasn’t too tightly packed and, like any good barbecue joint, customers are moving through quickly.

Once our spot in line moved inside, we had plenty of opportunity to admire Arthur Bryant’s wall of accomplishments -- articles, awards, plaques, thank you notes from celebrities, and the restaurant’s most recent claim to fame, the Obama visit (next to a less prominently featured photo of John McCain and Sarah Palin sharing a plate of brisket). This place clearly has some history and is a true destination for barbecue.

I loved ordering at Arthur Bryant’s. The counter set up is one of my favorites unique to barbecue joints: you speak to one employee who completes your entire order by cutting the meat right in front of you. It’s like an old-fashioned ice cream parlour, but better, because it’s meat.

After some discussion, Leo and I decided to eat our barbecue family style; we’d split brisket, ribs, burnt ends, baked beans, and fries. A feast was in order.

By the time we had both ordered our respective halves of the meal, grabbed the necessary utensils, and seated ourselves, I was frantic with hunger, ready to plunge into our magnificent bounty. Like asking a child on Christmas morning to hold off on opening his gifts, I had Leo hold off for a few precious seconds so I could snap a handful of photos of meat piles in front of us.

I can’t recall what item I tried first, but what I do recall is this: every single bite of Arthur Bryant’s was superb. Elite barbecue. If I had to pick my favorite, I’d go with the brisket. It was thin sliced, Kansas City style. Not greasy, but incredibly moist. It’s the type of brisket that really allows the flavor of the meat to shine; I could eat a pound of this brisket without sauce or bread. It’s like a fine steak… only better.

And the sauce. Remember, I had never even tried Arthur Bryant’s famous sauce. Each table has three sauce options: Original, Rich and Spicy, or Sweet Heat. The original here is actually pretty unique. It’s not thick or sweet, but rather super tangy, and pairs perfectly with everything (my personal favorite was to drizzle the sauce over a heap of brisket on top of a slice of bread, allowing the bread to sop up all that goodness). The Sweet Heat was more akin to what I expect from a traditional Kansas City sauce -- thicker and sweeter. But the original, man. The original sauce is a “must try” in the pantheon of Kansas City sauces.

Simply put, my entire meal at Arthur Bryant’s was one of the best barbecue experiences I’ve ever had. The ribs, like the brisket, were moist but not greasy, with the meat sliding right off the bone. The burnt ends fall apart on the plate, leaving you a mess of meaty goodness with bursts of charred flavor. The beans were just the right amount of sweetness. And to pack it all in, we had a mountain fries; fries that could be dipped in barbecue sauce, juices from the burnt ends, or some magical mixture of both.

In the religion of barbecue, Arthur Bryant’s is the Vatican. It’s Mecca. It’s the Bodhi Tree. You owe it to yourself to make the pilgrimage.

After about fifteen minutes of gorging myself, I was approaching my breaking point -- fullness was nigh. I didn’t want to stop. One more fry. One more slice of brisket. Maybe pick at the rib a bit more. Arthur Bryant’s is so good that even when I’m full to the point of pain, I keep pushing forward, onward toward meat sweats and an inevitable meat nap.

Our feast at Arthur Bryant’s was the only meal I had that day. And, to be honest, I’d have no problem with making that my only meal every single Saturday. On the drive home, Leo and I couldn’t stop talking about just how damn satisfying the meal was, how it’s incomparable. Each week I struggle to find new ways to describe the unique experience of eating world-class barbecue, and this was no different. For lack of a better word, I’ll leave Arthur Bryant’s at “incomparable.”

Leo:

The best yet.

Thunder cracked, lightning flashed, and rain poured down as I rushed out to my car.  “Whew,” I thought, “what a great day for a rain!”  Prior to the storm, it had been about 95 degrees outside, but now it was down in the 70’s.  I didn’t even need the air conditioning!  The night before, I had bested Ben 3-out-of-five Bocce ball and my “reward” was a shot of Fireball.  Due, at least in part, to this “reward,” I was feeling it and had been struggling with a headache all morning.  The abatement of the heat was much welcome and I felt my headache start to slip away.

While Ben and I could have met at Arthur Bryant’s, I volunteered to drive because I wanted to see his new dog Gracie.  Gracie is awesome!  But the last time I went over to Ben’s, she barked a bit and growled at me for a few minutes before she warmed up to me.  I hoped this time would be different.  I knocked at the door: “Baaaark,”said Gracie.  “shhhhh, it’s just Leo,” said Ben.  The door opened and Gracie barked again and growled a bit.  I held out my hand for her to smell me and this time, instead of retreating away, she smelt me and became a big ol’ cuddlebug.  “Great!” I thought, “she remembers me.”

I petted Gracie for a bit until Ben said that he hadn’t eaten all day (it was about 2:00 pm) and I got the signal that it was time to go.  We said goodbye to Gracie and walked out of Ben’s apartment.  It had stopped raining, but it was still cool and it was nice to ride to Arthur Bryant’s with the windows down.  And, as it turns out, Arthur Bryant’s is only a six-minute drive away from Ben’s apartment.  Because it was well past lunch time, I figured that we wouldn’t have much of a wait, which was good because I was getting hungry, too.

We pulled up and I found a parking spot right on the street.  We also noticed a group of people standing in front of Arthur Bryant’s.  “Surely, that’s not the line,” I thought, “it has got to be some kind of group that is leaving or is waiting to go in.”  But it was the line, all the way from the cash register to outside the front door. 

 We stood in line and talked about the Handmaid’s Tale (which is excellent, by-the-by) and looked at all the pictures and news articles on the walls.  Arthur Bryant’s clearly had a history of being a well-respected barbeque restaurant!  We saw pictures of Hollywood stars (Danny Glover and Steven Spielberg) and President Obama and Senator John McCain.  

Then, we saw the menu.  I’d eaten at Arthur Bryant’s once before with my roommates and we ordered several pounds of meat and two or three sides to share.  I mentioned that this might be a good way to get a taste of different meats instead of getting a sandwich and Ben agreed.  At first, we were going to get two pounds of meat, a half-rack of ribs and two sides.  Did I mention we were hungry?  Luckily the line was long enough for us to think about this decision and we decided to get a pound and a half of meat instead of two pounds.  We ordered a pound of brisket, a half-pound of burnt ends (yes, a pound of burnt ends costs the same as a pound of any other meat!), a half-rack of ribs, an order of fries, and a side of beans.  

The food was ready very quickly and then we were sitting at a table with a feast before us.  Where to start?  I decided to try out the sauces with a couple fries to see which the best was (by-the-by an order of fries is a tray of fries, so, so many fries).  There were Original, Rich & Spicy, and Sweet Heat, each with its own consistency and color.  The Original was a tangy delight and I could immediately taste why Arthur Bryant’s had won so many awards.  The Rich & Spicy added a kick of heat to make things interesting.  But the Sweet Heat was my favorite.  It was the thickest of the three sauces and was the perfect blend of sweet, the Original’s tang, and just enough heat to keep your mouth constantly watering.  Enough fries! On to the meat!

I grabbed a rib and slathered it in Sweet Heat.  Oh my God.  It was the best rib that I’d had in memory.  It was smoky and delicious.  The meat was just the right amount of tender.  

Then, I got some of the burnt ends.  I can’t explain how good these burnt ends were!  They gave me a whole new category of good barbeque.  While other burnt ends were good because they were buttery, fall-apart-in-your-mouth good, Arthur Bryant’s burnt ends were tender and so rich.  Little squares of heaven.  I had a couple that were charred and these were the best because you could taste the years of flavor that had built up in the smoker.

Lastly, I got to the brisket.  I piled a heaping helping onto my tray and covered it in Original, Rich & Spicy, and Sweet Heat.  Again, it was tender without being fatty.  It was smoky without overpowering the taste of the meat.  It was a beautiful combination of the meat, the rub, and the sauce, all of which came through to my taste buds.  As quick as I could, I was through with the first pile of brisket and I got some more and some more burnt ends.

This whole time, Ben and I were mostly silent except to comment on how good the meal was.  I think a comment arose that “all other BBQ only tastes good because I’d forgotten how good Arthur Bryant’s is.”  That comment sums up our experience nicely.  

We had so much food.  I can eat a lot and was stuffed before the end of the meal.  We made it all the way through the meat and then divvied up the remaining fries and beans (which made a nice snack later!).  We walked back out to the car in stunned silence.  I couldn’t believe it was over!  I wanted to go back and get more barbeque, despite my stuffedness.  Whew, it was good!  All we could talk about on the way home was how great Arthur Bryant’s was and that it was the best so far.  Other places have one or two items that you must try, but everything at Arthur Bryant’s was amazing.  If you can only go to one barbeque joint in KC, it has got to be Arthur Bryant’s.  But we’ve only been to six restaurants so far, so maybe I’ll have to revise this opinion in time.

Well, I hope that you are hungry!  If you don’t have lunch plans today, you should go to Arthur Bryant’s!!!  

[didiletyouknooow]

23. Super Bowl  I

Hey guys! There is a new chapter with Josh & Eileen! Again I had the idea of splitting it because it’s so long. 

Thank you again for liking and reading and following me! A big kiss and hug to all of you! It makes me so happy that you like my story and read it.  But as you might know, there are some more stories about Josh/RHCP out here on tumblr.  So please feel free to read also: http://bemygetawayjz.tumblr.com/ https://disorderfanfic.tumblr.com/ http://behindthespotlightfic.tumblr.com/  I like every story so much and every story is completely different. Great work! <3  Now I hope you have fun reading my new chapter! The next will be uploaded at the weekend! 

_______________

“So did I get it right, if I move to Oregon we break up?”

“I guess” he said. “Otherwise it doesn’t make any sense for me”

  This dialogue was in my mind for the last days. I repeated it over and over again. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. How could he throw away everything we had in the last months just because of one decision I was going to make? I didn’t even know if I would do it.

After the discussion he broke the connection. This was so typical for Josh that he didn’t want to discuss it anymore. Sometimes he behaved like a little boy. But I knew him, I knew of his behaviour and didn’t pay much attention to it because I thought he would contact me after a few days – he didn’t. I felt very sad and disappointed. Was he really that egoistic guy he pretended to be during our argument? I didn’t know. For the first time in the last six months I was questioning myself who the hell was the guy I was dating? Why did he behave like that? Like a total asshole to be honest. I mean, we could discuss it, we could try to find a way, we could figure it out, I guessed. But he didn’t want to. He was just pissed off.

I don’t have to mention that I couldn’t sleep that night and instead cried my eyes out. I was very sad. But I was also angry at Josh. Again he was such a pig head. But this time it really hurt me. I mean, if he didn’t want to find a way to figure it out, then how did he feel about me?

The following days I went to work and tried not to think about it. My co-workers must’ve thought something terrible happened because of the dark circles under my eyes. Sarah and I did work together on the project for the next days so it was very hard to smile and laugh although all I wanted to do was crying and screaming. But I didn’t want to talk about it with her. Sure I liked her, she was such a great friend for me here in Berlin, but I didn’t want to talk about it at work. All I wanted to do was distract me from thinking about Josh.

Back home again I listened to a lot of Oasis songs. Sometimes you just need some special music to feel better. 

I didn’t know what was going on with us now. Where did we stand? Were we still a couple? I just didn’t know. But I didn’t want to text him or phone him. I know it was the same gutless thing as always when we argued: no one had the guts to make the first move.

In two days I had to leave for New  York – if I would. It was my Christmas present from Josh, he wanted me to be by his side when he plays at the super bowl. I knew he was excited and nervous, I mean it was the super bowl. How many millions of people all over the world are watching it? And sure I wanted to support him but I didn’t know if I should do it anymore. I mean, he behaved like shit to me when we skyped. Why did he break the connection just without saying anything? I could have thrown something against him while thinking about it. His reaction hurt me so much.

I knew that he never had to think about moving away from Los Angeles for a job. He probably never had to be afraid of being unemployed. There was always a Bob Forrest or a John Frusciante who would’ve helped him. Oh well, this was a terrible thought. I knew he worked hard and he did go a long way to be where he was now. But I think it was also a great amount of luck he had.

I felt as if I wouldn’t belong to his lifestyle. To the business he was working in. I was just a girl looking for a job and a flat in L.A. who accidentally fell in love with the guitarist of this famous band who must’ve millions of dollars on the bank. How could both lifestyles get along together?

It was Wednesday evening when I came home from work and Lara was making dinner in the kitchen. “How was your day?” she wanted to know. I sighed and got me something to drink. “It sucked. Like every day since last week” “Eileen, sweetheart, just sit down, have a drink and in a few minutes we can enjoy my Thai soup I just made” she let me know. Lara was very caring about me and it felt good but I was still feeling very disillusioning. “Still Josh?” “Yes…” I said. “I don’t know what he thought would happen? That I would accept his decision and we both never talk again? This is just childish! We’re adults, doesn’t he know that? He’s even six years older than me but sometimes behaves like a 15 year old pubertal boy!” “Calm down!” Lara said and gave me a pale with her soup. I tried it and it was very delicious. So for the next 15 minutes we just sat there eating her soup without saying anything.

 “So it’s Wednesday, right?” Lara suddenly said. “Yes, why? Do you wanna watch The Bachelor again?” “No” she laughed. “But” her voice changed from funny to serious. “In two days you’re supposed to fly to New  York, right?” “Maybe” “Are you going?” “I don’t know” “Why?” “Because my boyfriend didn’t call me since our argument last week?” “But you didn’t call him either” “Yeah, but….” “Maybe you should do it” “No….I don’t know why” “You’re both such pig heads. But I guess you already know” “I do….” “So what’s the reason for not going?” “First, my boyfriend and I didn’t speak for a few days and I don’t even know if he still wants me to be there. Second, maybe he has forgotten about me yet and found a new girl?” “Eileen, don’t be silly” “Could be. I don’t know who he really is” “Yes but….I don’t think that Josh has a new girl. I mean, why? He has you!” “Well, I’m not so sure about that anymore” I was totally pissed off. “Don’t be silly and throw it all away” “He wants to throw it away!” “I know but….he reacted on impulse. You two should have a talk about it” “But when? He doesn’t contact me” “He’s busy on tour” “Yeah and maybe already met a new hot girl who’s younger than me, thinner than me, prettier than me” “EILEEN!” Lara stopped me. “Why do you say those crappy words? Stop!” “It’s just what I think of” “Do you know why Josh doesn’t want you to move to Oregon?” “No….well actually I do know. He doesn’t want to live between two states, as he called it” “Because he loves you” My heart skipped a beat when I heard her saying these words. “What do you mean?”

 “He told you that he loves you, right?” “Yes” “And he told you that he’s not that into telling people about his emotions, right?” “Yeah” “So….the only way he knows how to show you that he doesn’t want you to move to Oregon is to tell you HE can’t deal with it” “But he told me that he breaks up with me when I will move there” I reminded her. “Yes but…it’s just a defensive attitude since he didn’t know how to put his feelings into words” “Well I don’t know. To me it sounds like kitchen sink philosophy” Lara rolled her eyes and put the tales away. “Eileen, honestly I think you should fly to New York.” “I don’t know…” “The tickets are a present from Josh. He thought about it before giving it to you that he wants you to be there. This must be more than one month ago” “How do you know?” “Because he asked me some things about your boss before asking him to give you some days off” “When was it?” “It was at the beginning of December I guess” “Wow” it made me kind of speechless to hear it. “A few days earlier they agreed making the guest appearance at Bruno Mars’ half time show and two days later he spoke to your boss” “So you already knew about the half time show before I told you?” I have to apologize that I couldn’t keep the secret and told Lara about it. “Yes…kind of” “Well….this is crazy” “But it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that the first thing he did after they made the deal was getting you some tickets. I remember that we talked about the flights and I told him that you don’t like flying that much and you don’t like stopovers so he changed the tickets he already booked with a stopover in London into a business class fly from Berlin to New York.”

When Lara told me about this I didn’t know what to say. It gave me goose bumps hearing this story. Josh was so….cute? Lovely? I couldn’t find words for it although I was still mad at him. “So Eileen, you really should go there. It will not only be a great experience but it will also make you feel better if you can talk to Josh in person. I’m sure you can figure it out somehow” “Hm, maybe you’re right” I said. She smiled at me and we hugged.  

 Two days later I was sitting in a plane to New York. I never took a flight in business class so I was very overwhelmed by the service. I had something to drink, to eat and the seats were so comfortable I even could sleep for quite some time. So yes I decided to take the plane to fly to New York for the super bowl. It was so surreal that I took a plane to fly to the super bowl. I mean, I wasn’t even into American football. I couldn’t even afford a ticket to the super bowl not to mention another ticket for flying over to the states and afterwards back to Berlin. But it was Josh’s gift to me at Christmas. Yes it was still very cute of him but it took me some time to finally decide to do it. I was still mad at him, we still didn’t talk with each other for over a week now. I mean, I didn’t even know if he wanted me to be there. I wrote him a message but he didn’t read it yet. I even phoned him but no one answered. But I didn’t questioned it because sometimes he was too busy to answer. I wished Lara could’ve fly with me but it was too expensive and she wouldn’t get a vip ticket like me I guessed. Well I didn’t need a vip ticket. Instead I would prefer to watch the game and the half time show with Lara at the worst seats the stadium had. I didn’t care but well it’s clear that friends and family of the players or the artists of the half time show will get special seats in a special lounge. So time flew by and after eight hours we landed safety at JFK in New York.

I hoped Josh would answer me so I checked my phone when I arrived at the airport. I was very sure that he would’ve answered me. But….nothing. To be honest I didn’t know where to go. So I waited for my luggage. Afterwards I walked through the airport, bought me something to drink and went to the exit. Well I really didn’t know where to go now. So I HAD to phone Josh now again otherwise I wouldn’t know where to stay in New  York. I called him but again he didn’t answer. Well, perfect. I tried it again but nothing happened. Yes great Eileen, I thought, why are you such a pig head that stays home when she can’t contact her boyfriend before flying over to New  York City? I mean, who does this shit without thinking about it before? I got angry. I sat down at a seat at the airport and scrolled through my phone. Who could I phone now? Maybe Lara? But what could she do? Hm. While I was scrolling through my phone I didn’t recognized that there was a person coming over to me. I just saw the shadow of the person who was standing right in front of me now but I didn’t look up because I didn’t want to talk to anyone who asked me for directions. Sorry. “Do you wanna come with me?” a voice suddenly said. I frightened. Then I looked up and saw him. “Josh?” I was so surprised that I didn’t know what to say. “Hey” he smiled very shyly. “I’m glad you came” “Ehm, how do you know….I mean” “Well I booked the tickets for you so I knew when your plane would arrive” “But the airport is so big. How did you find me?” “I was walking through the airport looking for you for quite some time” he told me. He had his hands in his pockets and looked to the floor. He was so shy. “Oh ehm” “I was scared you would take a cab to the city” “Ehm yes I think this would’ve been my next move. Then check into a cheap hostel” “Well good that I found you before” he smiled at me and gave me his hand. “Come on, let’s go” he said and I followed him without saying anything. We walked to the back exit where a black van was waiting for us. Josh took my luggage and put it into the trunk before we got in the car. It felt a bit weird that there was a driver waiting for us. Sure it must’ve been totally normal for Josh these days but for me it wasn’t. I felt a bit uncomfortable. “How was your flight?” “It was great, thank you for the tickets” “No thanks, I did what I could” “Honestly, thank you Josh” I said. But the rest of the way to the hotel we didn’t speak much. You can tell that it was still a tense situation between us. After half an hour we arrived at the back entrance of the hotel. Josh took my luggage and we went into the hotel. “Why the back entrance?” I wanted to know. “Because of the fans” he told me. Oh well, okay. Josh and I went to the elevator. Again we didn’t speak a word but I recognized him looking at me when I couldn’t see it – well at least he thought I couldn’t see it. Until now there was no hug, no kiss and no nice word we shared with each other. The only thing that happened was that Josh picked me up from the airport. I thanked him for doing it but still it was all very weird at the moment.

Finally we arrived at Josh’s hotel room and he took my luggage away. I undressed my jacket and he put my jacket at the wardrobe without saying anything. “So ehm, we have sound check in a few minutes, so I have to go now” Josh suddenly said. “Ehm, no wait!” I stopped him from leaving. He looked very surprised. “I think we have to talk!” I let him know. “Okay…” “So what’s going on here? We argued last week, you broke the connection and didn’t get in touch with me since then. After all I was so silly to come to New York, you picked me up and now you wanna leave for sound check?” “Well….it’s what I’ve gotta do” “Yes but…don’t you think we should have a talk about what happened last week?” “Hmmm, I guess so” he then said. “So….do you still wanna break up with me if I move to Oregon?” Josh didn’t look me in the eyes, I think he couldn’t. He kneaded his hands nervously. “Josh, please be honest because I came here to talk to you about it. You can say I flew thousands of miles just for having this talk because to me it’s important” I let him know. He looked up and directly in my eyes. “I don’t wanna break up with you” he suddenly said after a few minutes of silence. “I felt sad when you told me about your plans because I don’t wanna lose you” “And that’s why you told me that you’re going to break up with me if I’m moving to Roseburg?” “I know it was silly. It was just on impulse because I was mad at you because I was faced at your decision” “Well I didn’t decide yet” “Not?” “No….I mean, it was just a positive response. I didn’t even speak to them” “Oh well, I thought you’ve decided yet. For me it sounded like you will do it” “Hm, I don’t wanna move to Oregon to be honest. But it could be my only opportunity” “No it’s not. You can….” “I know!” I interrupted him. “And I’m very thankful that you wanna support me but….I have another plan B” “Alright…” “I don’t know if I ever told you about it but when I studied in Berlin I did also a Master of Education. You could do both of them at the same time so I did. I know I’m a bit of a geek” I chuckled. “So not every school in Los Angeles acknowledges my graduation but I found three schools which are searching for history teacher. I’m also allowed to teach German. So I applied for a job as a teacher” I told him about my plan B I made two nights ago. “So you wanna be a teacher?” Josh asked surprised. “Kind of…If it let me stay in L.A. then yes, I’m gonna be a teacher” I laughed. “Oh well I hope that they want you as their teacher. I would want you as my teacher” he smiled, took a few steps closer and put his arms around me. “I hate fighting with you. I don’t wanna do it again. I know I behaved silly and said some egoistic words. I’m sorry for that Eileen. I just don’t wanna lose you” Josh said and gave me a kiss. “Me too. I hate fighting with you” “It’s so ridiculous” “But Josh?” “Hm?” “Why didn’t you answer my calls?” “Ehm, my phone broke yesterday. It will be fixed later that day” Josh let me know. “Oh well and I thought you already found a new girl that’s younger, thinner and prettier than me” I said jokingly. “Well, why should I want another girl when I have you? And why younger or thinner?” “I don’t know…just a thought” “Ridiculous thought” “Hm” “And Eileen?” “Yes?” “You’re the prettiest girl I know and I like your age and I don’t like super skinny girls. I like girls like you!” he smiled while saying these words to me. My heart melted. I was so happy that we figured it out. We were standing there for quite some time, he hugging me while I laid my head against his chest. It felt like being home again although we were standing in a hotel room in Brooklyn.

After our reconciliation Josh and I went to the venue where the Chili Peppers would play a special concert tonight before the super bowl the following day. For me it was very exciting to see how it all worked and see the guys at the arena doing their sound check. I was standing at the ground of the arena, the standing pitch where the crowd would get wild later that day. Together with some other members of the crew or people working at the venue I watched the band doing their sound check. It was crazy finally seeing Josh playing with Anthony, Flea and Chad on stage. It also was crazy because everyone was wearing their every day clothes. Anthony wore a jeans and a black jacket, very unspectacular. Flea wore jogging pants and a sweater, Chad drummed while wearing a checked shirt and Josh was wearing black pants, a Yankees cap and also a checked shirt. I knew he would change his clothes later that day. He always had his stage clothes he doesn’t wear the whole day. So while I was standing there watching the boys on stage who just started playing “Can’t stop” a woman spoke to me. “Sorry, who are you?” “Ehm, excuse me?” “Who are you? Who brought you here?” she asked me in a serious voice. “I’m Eileen, I’m Josh’s girlfriend” “Sure….a lot of people say these words. I’ve heard it before several times” she said in a sarcastic voice. “Well…it’s the truth” I told her. I was confused. What did she want to tell me? “Where’s your pass?” “Pass?” “Your AAA-pass?” I must have looked like I didn’t understand her. “Access All Area?” “I don’t have one” “Okay, so then please leave the venue” “Why? Josh brought me here” “Sure he did….a lot of fans told me such a story. Mostly with Anthony but, well…” she said and I saw two guys from the security coming to me. “She has to leave now” the woman told them. The two men looked at me and told me to come with them. You could see that they didn’t want to take my arm or my hand. They just wanted to handle this situation without violence. “Sorry, it must be a misunderstanding. Josh Klinghoffer took me with him when he arrived here for sound check” I looked at the guys and then back to the stage where Josh was playing some jams with Flea and Chad. They just finished it. “Josh!” I shouted but he didn’t hear me because he talked to his guitar tech. They continued playing but suddenly Josh stopped when he saw me arguing with the security guys. “What’s wrong there?” he asked through the microphone. “Everything’s okay Eileen?” Although Josh mentioned my name the security guys and the woman didn’t stop arguing with me. I tried to explain them the situation but they didn’t believe me. I watched Josh gesturing his band something and then he left the stage. A few seconds later I saw him coming to us. “Eileen, what’s wrong here?” he asked, his guitar strap still on his shoulder. “They don’t want to believe me that I’m here with you” “Well why? Claire, she’s my girlfriend” he told the blonde woman. “How should I know it? You didn’t tell me and she has no pass. Josh, you know how this works. Friends and family need a backstage pass” “But it’s just sound check” he responded. “I know but it’s for the safety” “Okay, well then….it’s my fault sorry” he apologized to her. “It’s okay, I’ll get her a pass” Clair told us and left. “Sorry” Josh let me know and kissed my brow before heading back to the stage. I smiled. Sometimes he was a bit confused.

 Claire came back with my backstage pass. “Please, take it with you all the time” she let me know and I put it on my neck. “So you’re Josh’s girlfriend?” “Yes” “But not for a long time, right?” “Since October” “Well okay we weren’t on tour during this time and he didn’t tell me. So I’m sorry that I bothered you but we have to be careful these days” she explained to me. “All I knew was that you’re not Mia, Amelia or Chloe” she said laughing. Ehm okay, I knew of Mia and I knew of Amelia. But who was Chloe?

But I didn’t have time to ransack my brain over the question who Chloe could be because the boys just finished their sound check and Josh beckoned me. So I went to the side of the stage. First I didn’t see Josh but instead a guy with long blonde curly hair who looked like a member of a metal band. “I’m looking for Josh” I said to him. “Oh you must be Eileen, I’m Ian, Josh’s guitar tech” the guy smiled at me and we shook hands. “Josh has a short talk with our monitor engineer I guess. Like always after the sound check” Ian rolled his eyes. “Okay so I just wait here” “Sure, do you wanna have some tea or coffee?” “Ehm, no thanks” I just realized that there was a coffee machine and a kettle standing next to the guitars. How sweet was that? Josh finally ended his discussion or whatever he had with the monitor guy and came back to me. “I’m sorry about Claire” he said again and gave me short kiss. “I didn’t know she was there. She’s always a bit rude to people she doesn’t know” he told me about the blonde woman in her forties who turned out to be their personal assistant. She was taking care of every issue the band had Josh told me. Originally she was a member of the management. “But she’s quite nice” he said. “If you’re nice to her” he laughed. We were walking backstage to a small room where Anthony was talking to Flea. “There she is” Anthony said while looking at me. I welcomed them and we talked a bit about their current tour and how excited they were to play at the half time show tomorrow. “So, your first Chili show tonight?” Anthony wanted to know and I nodded, still a bit shy. “Well I hope you’ll like it. We give our best to entertain our crowd and give them the time of their lives” he said smiling and drinking some tea. “Are you a bit afraid of tomorrows’ performance?” I had the guts to ask. “Well not afraid….maybe Josh is afraid of it. I don’t know. Josh are you afraid?”  “Ehm, I don’t know. At least I know that I wont play shit” he giggled while drinking some coffee. Josh was more of the coffee guy. “Why?” I was wondering. “Because the guys recorded it before. We can’t play live because it would be too difficult to do it in that short period of time” Anthony told me. “So later that day I’m the only one of us who has to do a sound check together with Bruno Mars” Wow, it still sounded so surreal to me. After another short talk Josh and I left the arena and had a nice little walk through the streets. We walked along the Atlantic Avenue and talked a bit. It was just Josh and me, holding hands while walking and talking. I really missed him. I missed talking to him in person, looking into his eyes, smiling at him, smelling him. Sure I missed kissing him, too but it wasn’t that much of a deal. For the first time since we were in a relationship I missed him as the person he was. I just loved being in his company and always felt a bit more confident with him by my side.

Before heading back to the Barclays Center in Brooklyn we took the subway to Manhattan. I loved that Josh didn’t give a shit about him being famous in any ways but instead just took the subway although he could afford a cab or even ask some of their drivers to take us to Manhattan. He also had to take away his phone from the shop. So we walked a bit through Manhattan and crossed the Time Square. Sure I was in New York and Manhattan before but this time it was special for me. Walking along with Josh at the Time Square was quite nice. I think nobody noticed him, while he was wearing a black beanie and some sunglasses on – well at least the sun was shining although it was winter. We took some pictures in a cheesy tourist-couple-style and then searched for the phone shop where Josh handed in his phone yesterday to be fixed again. Well I think I could’ve phone him a million times – nobody would’ve answered. “What would you’ve done when you wouldn’t have found me at the airport?” I wanted to know when finally Josh had his phone back and we left the shop. “Ehm, I don’t know. Maybe I would’ve phone every hostel in Manhattan or Brooklyn” “I guess nobody of the crew has my number” “No…and I didn’t write it down and I don’t know it by heart which I’m sorry for” “Me neither. I can’t remember any telephone numbers no matter if it’s from my family, friends, boyfriends…” ”I think this is typical nowadays. I mean, we all have these smart phones which can do like…everything?” “Yes, that’s it” “I think our brain has less things to do these days which is very bad because we unlearn so much” I looked in his face. How could a human being be so nice and humble? I was still wondering.

We had still some time left until we must’ve been back at the arena in Brooklyn. So we decided to do a typical tourist thing. We went on top of to the Empire State Building. Well, do you remember I was afraid of heights? “Oh man, this is so high I don’t know if I wanna go outside” I said when we arrived at the top of the building. “But we came here for enjoying the view I guess” Josh said while taking my hand. Again I followed him to the observation platform. It felt a bit like in Vienna – but this time it was a way higher. “Just trust me” he said and went on to one point at the platform. “I like the view from this point. It shows you all the beauty of the city” he told me. I fought with me looking through the rods of steal down to Manhattan. “Look, there is the Hudson River. Oh, it’s so beautiful here” Josh smiled and took some pictures with his phone while I was just standing there, trying not to scream. My hands were so sweaty I didn’t want to put my phone out because I was afraid of losing it. It could fall from the building – yeah I know, ridiculous thought, but you know, I couldn’t explain it, it was just fear. “Should we walk around the building?” he asked. I just stood there hypnotized one point down in the city without looking away. This was the only way I could get over my fear. Just pointing at one special area and not looking to the other side. “Come on, let’s go” Josh said but I couldn’t. “NO!” I almost screamed. Josh’s face told me that he couldn’t understand it. “No, I can’t. You can go but I will go back to the elevator and wait for you” I let him know. “You don’t!” “Yes I do…” “Eileen, just a few steps, okay? You needn’t be afraid of it. Nothing will happen” Josh said and I wanted to believe him but my mind said no. But after a few minutes we came a few steps further so we had a view of the other side of New York. He was right, it was beautiful and I should get over my fear.

He was standing right behind me and showed me some spots where he played with some bands. He even showed me where his grandmother used to live and where his father and his mother met because originally they were from New York but moved to California before he was born. Well okay he just showed me the direction. Not everything happened in Manhattan. But while he was showing me I forgot about my fear – at least for a moment. We even could make a selfie without me looking like in a horror movie. Likewise, I wasn’t the only one who wanted to take a picture with Josh. There was also a group of people who recognized him and, well, there wasn’t much space to flee. So he was nice and took a picture with them. Well I was the one taking it. It took me some short moments to breathe until I could take the picture without shaking hands but I did it. Wow, it made me proud. I didn’t need to cling on Josh’s hands to go a few steps at the platform.

 “Wow, I’m very proud of you” he said when we arrived at the floor. ”Why?” “Because you did it! You went to the top of the Empire State Building with me and even took some steps. I know it must be hard for someone who is afraid of heights. So I’m very proud of you” he smiled and gave me a kiss. “Well, it wasn’t as special as playing in front of thousands of people” I said. “It’s totally different. You can’t compare it” Josh let me know. Well, if he said so.  

Finally we went back to the hotel in Brooklyn. Josh didn’t know if we should walk to the main entrance so we checked it out if there were any fans in front of the hotel. Josh told me that there were fans the whole day waiting for the Chilis to walk through the door. I knew he didn’t like it so he often preferred the back entrance. But this time we couldn’t see anyone so Josh and I walked to the entrance of the hotel. Turned out that we were wrong. There was a group of girls standing next to the hotel. They even had some cds and t-shirts to be signed by the Chilis. And of course they were holding their phones in their hands. Josh walked a bit faster when he saw them, still holding my hand. But when we arrived at the hotel they finally saw him and called his name. I thought they looked kind of nice and sympathetic. So Josh stopped, lost my hand and gave them some autographs while having a short chat with them. Sure the girls asked him for a photo but this time he didn’t want to. He excused himself very politely. I was standing two meters away from them watching and waiting for Josh. He came to me, took my hand and we finally went into the hotel. “Well they kind of looked nice” I let him know. “Sure they were. But I didn’t want to take pictures with them” “Why?” “You know why” he looked me in the eyes while we entered the elevator. “It’s always the same, then one picture is not enough and then they want another and I can’t say no. So, it always takes some time” “Well I guess they’re happy that they met you” I supposed. “Maybe”

The elevator door closed and we were standing there totally on our own. No one said a word. Why do people always keep silent in an elevator? But suddenly Josh came nearer and kissed me. It wasn’t just a short kiss, no, it was a passionate kiss and he pushed me against the wall. Well, this was a bit exciting to be honest. I never kissed in an elevator. When the door opened and we arrived at our floor we stopped and left it as though nothing had happened. Josh grinned at me and took my hand.

Eventually it was time to go back to the venue. So we drove back to the Barclays Center and while Josh was getting ready for the show I went to my seats. Before, Josh phoned his sister Olivia who was also there. So when I searched for my place I met Olivia and her boyfriend Jerome. We welcomed each other and had a short talk about the last weeks since Christmas. Olivia and I got along very well and I got to know her more and more. Her boyfriend was very calm and didn’t say much. The show started. I was so excited! Not only was it my first Red Hot Chili Peppers concert but it was also the first time I saw Josh playing with the guys. Sound check didn’t count I guess. So when the intro started I felt my heart beating very fast. It was a great show. I didn’t really know many of the new songs but I enjoyed every of them. I had to grin when I realized that there was a song about a “Maggie”. I had to think about my brother and his girlfriend who didn’t know that I was in New  York right now seeing Josh playing with the boys and tomorrow going to the super bowl. I didn’t tell him because I knew he would ask me with whom I would go and then he would suggest that it must be Josh and then I couldn’t hide the secret. So I decided to phone him tomorrow during the game to show him some of the atmosphere.

The concert was great! We had the perfect seats just right next to the stage. I was overwhelmed by the feelings I felt during the show and how crazy it was. Last year I wouldn’t have imagined that one year later I would go to a Chilis concert in Brooklyn because my boyfriend plays in the band. Not to mention going to the super bowl. I think the last-year-Eileen would have laughed very loud at the future-Eileen from 2014. She wouldn’t have believed it!

After the concert I followed Olivia and Jerome backstage where many people bustled about. We were searching for Josh but couldn’t find him. So we sat down at some chairs and talked for a while. It took some time until Josh came over to us. He sat down next to me. “What a great concert!” I let him know. “Really? Thanks. I’m glad you liked it” he said in his typical shy voice. “Very good job bro!” Olivia grinned. “But I played some shit a few times” Josh criticized himself. I saw how the three of us – Olivia, Jerome and me – rolled our eyes. “So what? It was a great show and the crowd liked it” I said to him putting my arms around him while I was sitting on his lap. “I’m very proud of you!” I gave him a kiss but recognized that he didn’t like being so close in public. So I stopped and instead just kept talking with him. 

Later the band, families, friends and the crew continued a little party at a bar the Chilis booked. Josh and I attended the party but we just had some drinks until we left it. It was too crowded. We both didn’t like it and since we were both very tired we took a walk through the night back to the hotel. This time without fans at the hotel – well it was 2am in the night. __________ You can watch the whole concert in Brooklyn here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP4n-GGCEFI 

[xoleahbeanxo]

Sanctuary: Chapter Twenty-Three

Going Home

           Annabelle pored over the letters in her lap. She sat back in her bed while a baby squirmed tightly to her and suckled peacefully. The room was cool from the oncoming autumn air outside. It filled the room with the sweet smell of fires burning from the town down the way.

           The manor was almost finished by the time everyone made it back home from China. The lion workers were excellent at restoring everything to new. Charlotte had done an excellent job explaining where everything went, right down to the fully restored west wing. It took some time but with Loky’s help and a great deal of his fortune, they were able to make the house a home again.

           The first memory the family ever made there was when Grace gave birth to her baby in the very bed that Annabelle and Mouse slept in. It was an honor that their niece was brought into this world in that very room a few weeks prior. Their daughter was also born in this room just a week or so later.

           Annabelle thought back to that day with a warm smile.

***

           Annabelle felt the very bones in her hand crunch under the grip of the hyena’s hand. Marybeth, however, was the one crunching her other hand in hers. The large wolf breathed in time with Grace, keeping her rhythm in time before the next push came. Gilda sat on a stool between the hyena’s legs and watched for a sign that indicated the baby was going to be born the proper way. Claudia wasn’t squeamish; she stood by the doctor’s side waiting to be told what to do.

           “Interesting thing, the hyena anatomy is,” Gilda mused. “They’re born with this penis looking things and a vagina, and it’s considered normal.”

           “Oh doc, can we discuss this when I’m not being split in half please?” Grace panted and Marybeth insisted she did the breathing.

           “I wasn’t talking to you. Just focus on…this.” Gilda was nonchalant.

           “Seems to me like a perfect packaged deal, doc.” Claudia snickered; her beautiful French accent was back in full swing.

           “Well, with the exception of the penis and the troubling factor of the vagina, I’d be inclined to agree.” Gilda said.

           “Trust me, doc,” Claudia whispered lewdly in Gilda’s ear, her redneck voice cutting through. “If you had one of those things to knock the cobwebs away, you might not be so uptight.”

           Gilda laughed and elbowed the opossum away. “Disgusting. Go to your wife.”

           “She’s quite busy right now.”

           “If you guys are done groping each other, I think she’s coming now.” Grace gritted her teeth and squeezed Marybeth and Annabelle’s hand.

           “You can do it.” Annabelle whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek.

           “I don’t know about that…” Grace sighed and relaxed her push preparing for another.

           “Mouse wanted me to let you know. You can have the names she was going to use for our baby if you want.” Annabelle whispered.

           Grace couldn’t say anything as she pressed into the contraction. Something told her this was going to be the moment of truth, and it was. Bernadette was born at sundown. The beautiful baby was more fox than hyena with the exception of the broader frame and the light colored spots all over her cream colored fur.

***

           “Hey.” A warm voice pulled Annabelle away from her thoughts. “Is everything alright?”

           “Oh yeah, I’m fine.” Annabelle whispered out of habit. “I was thinking about Grace and Bernadette. How was work?”

           Mouse slipped off her work shirt and dropped it on the chair next to her. “It was good. Nuts and Bolts are really getting the barn set up. Soon we’ll be able to open our riding school.”

           “Oh, I’m so glad to hear it. You’re going to love teaching others about those automaton horses of yours.” A gentle smile came to Annabelle’s lips.

           “Yeah, I think it’s going to be a really nice place for people to come to escape everyday life. It’s going to become even better once Rebecca and Gilda get their lesson plan together. Teaching people about sign language is really important.” Mouse’s voice didn’t seem as excited but Annabelle could tell it was because she was sleepy.

           “Have you spoken to Grace?” Annabelle winced and shifted, there was still a little discomfort after the birth but it wasn’t too bad.

           “Just a few moments ago, Marybeth was taking her for a walk in the garden. Grace really hates the all day care but you know she loves Marybeth’s help when the baby wakes up at night.” Mouse giggled and unbuckled her belt, letting its weight pull her trousers down. She stepped out of her boots and pants at the same time.

           “Lucie and Claudia have been a big help too. God, Lucie fed Maximus for me last night. I was so happy I could have just kissed her.” Annabelle sighed softly and rubbed her neck. “Little Maxie is so lucky to have all these mothers.”

           Mouse looked at her and sighed. She didn’t say anything but Annabelle could feel her gaze. “What?”

           “Nothing, you’re just…you, and it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.”

           “Stop it.” Annabelle pushed her hair back behind her ears.

           Mouse giggled. “I see you’ve got the mail. Anything interesting?”

Annabelle was grateful for the change of subject. It’s not that she didn’t love Mouse’s doting, she just didn’t feel very beautiful with everything that had gone on the last few days.

           Mouse came and sat at the edge of the bed next to Annabelle’s legs. Little Maximus had fallen asleep enjoying his meal. Mouse gently caressed down the splotched gray and orange fur of his back. The baby cooed and started suckling again but never fully woke up.

           “More letters from family, huh?” Mouse laid her head on Annabelle’s thigh, immediately receiving fingers through her mop of dark gray hair. “Any highlights?”

           “Why yes, Baroness Mariah, I’ll give you the run down.”

           Mouse giggled and kissed the blankets at Annabelle’s leg. “Alright, you smartass.”

           “Lyonel sent us a letter with the gift of dates. He says that he is getting used to sharing Loky’s time with the king’s new wife. She’s the one running the country and she seems really nice and understanding.” Annabelle explained, Mouse pursed her lips and nodded before one corner of her mouth pulled back in a smirk.

           “Ultrok’s and Callie’s baby is the cutest he’s ever seen. He hopes to have a little girl just like Molly someday. Then he wrote something in the post script line but his handwriting is terrible. I can’t read it. He also said that Sarah is settling into the role of tactician of the entire Lion Nation’s army. She loves her new job, hates her robotic leg. She goes on to say that it keeps her from running as fast as she used too.”

           “It was so hard to get used to my arm.” Mouse ran her fingers up through Maximus’ feathery soft back fur.

           Annabelle frowned and touched her arm. She knew there was no way to control herself from doing the deed that permanently scarred the love of her life and Mouse never blamed her for it. She still felt terrible whenever she thought about it. Mouse knew she was thinking about it again and caressed the hand holding the letter to reassure Annabelle that it was still alright.

           “I got a letter from Sheik, too. The hyena nation is in shambles right now and she’s trying to get some form of government in order but things have been rough. Grek is the new captain of the guards and Cre is her bodyguard. Patty isn’t too happy about living in such an unstable environment but is willing to give it a try for Cre’s sake. Karish and baby Mariah are doing well. They’re working hand in hand with Sheik, helping to build a new nation.” Annabelle caressed Mouse’s ear softly.

           “I still can’t believe she and Lilian didn’t work out,” Mouse closed her eyes at the soft caress.

           “Yeah, I am too. But I think Lilian’s a lot happier now touring Japan on an extended holiday.”

           “When’s she supposed to be back?” Mouse moaned softly.

           “Around Christmas, I think.”

           Mouse didn’t say anything at first and then she snorted awake. “That’s good.”

           Annabelle giggled. “Do you want to sleep, my love?”

           “No, please go on,” Mouse mumbled.

           “Molly and Cayden wrote me a letter talking about the new divide in the troupe. Cayden’s going to remain in the area and he may come and see us soon, while Molly is taking her troupe towards Siberia and China region. They’re excited about the culture there.”

           Mouse mumbled something that Annabelle could only gather as Charlotte’s dinner plans. Mushroom stew and crispy bread bites, or something like that. It was impossible to tell for sure but Annabelle wasn’t about to wake her up to find out. Instead, she just laid back and continued to read through the parchment while listening to Mouse snore softly. It was good to be home with her family where she belongs.

           Something shifted out of the corner of her eye and she looked to see what it was but it was gone just as quickly. It didn’t bother her much anymore. Ever since she received the druid’s gift and spent so long in the Everall, she was already used to seeing the spirits that still lingered behind. Whichever one this was, was much more persistent and refused to leave. Without another thought about it, she went back to reading the letter.

[oneness913-blog]

What did you do in 2017 that you'd never done before?

  Writing a grant, managing budget, crowdfunding, giving a serious (normative) gift to Sarasa (last year she was perplexed with a pair of glass sandal), Starting a master’s degree, making a pledge to become a teacher in Japan, Being a camp leader, BBQ on the beach with Sarasa, Volunteering, Spending a full week with the same kids, Paying for tuition, Getting on a train just to get a fresh air, Buying a monthly train pass, Watching the entire episodes of Doctor Who within two weeks. Hanging out with James’ sister. Keeping track of daily expenses (barely). Trying to recruit undergrads to form a squad to make an impact in child welfare. Going to a friend’s funeral.

New places I visited: Totsukawa village in Nara, Chikusa in Hyogo, Child Care home, reformatory, more than 30 different schools, Noto (Ishikawa pref).

Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

   My resolution for 2017 was, probably, to write reflections often, and that is exactly one thing I wish I had done more. All anxious feelings for the future is circular in nature and reflecting more through writing would have helped avoid it. I will totally make more new year’s resolutions, and will try harder to keep it. It’s about time to consciously structure life!

What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?

-More music in life (didn’t know how music could uplift my feeling!)!

- courage and confidence to actually do things that are wanted by me.

-time to sit down and write

-daily planning of how to spend time

-more chats with friends from wes

-going to rando local meetup events

What date(s) from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

   -Sep 25 to Oct 1: A week of internship at a local elementary school made me absolutely fall in love with hanging out with 6th graders, and this led me to get elementary school teaching license.

  -Sep 15: Former Cross st. neighbor Matt Burgunder visited Osaka and we talked about deep shit over sake. This day was the day I heard I got a grant. Matt and I opened up and became closer, and that was awesome, fun thing.

  -Nov 10 Xian visited Osaka, and we ate a bunch of foodies and talked lots. I was very, very happy to be able to reconnect with Xian again, a while after graduation. We discovered that Pizza-okonomiyaki was the best thing to eat in Osaka.

   What was your biggest achievement of the year?

   -coordinating a US-Japan youth exchange program to tackle cyberbullying. The challenges included communication with a variety of people and institutions, managing budget, facilitating high school students’ discussions while simultaneous interpreting.

What was the best thing you bought?

  -a beautiful (?) pair of piercing for Sarasa. I feel like a boyfriend now. hahaha. And a work table from IKEA. It was Sarasa’s suggestion (or order) and was totally, absolutely worth the money. I can watch Doctor Who so much more comfortably.

Where did most of your money go?

   drinking and eating out with friends, coffee at cafes, traveling with Sarasa.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

    Traveling to Kanazawa with Sarasa, giving her a (real) present for Christmas/Three year anniversary. This reflection has made me realize I am much more of a romantic (?) or a family guy than I thought. LOL

What song(s) will always remind you of 2016?

       Honestly, no song is attached to 2016.

Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? thinner or fatter? richer or poorer?

I am slightly, but very meaningfully, richer. at least money wise, thanks to some of the project incomes. Sarasa says my tummy is becoming like a young child’s and I must hit the gym, and I have registered for a membership but have been lazier than ever. I should reflect on this later. Speaking of happiness, I am definitely happier because I are a little more sure of what I want for my career (teaching). Around this time last year I was debating whether I should fly away and disappear into rural cities in Mexico. Now I am serious thinking about finding a teaching-related career there. Sarasa is going to graduate and come back to Japan soon and that is making me feel so much more hopeful for the future. I probably got a little more used to long-distance. I have never recommended it to anyone though.

Having met a lot of young people and remembering each kid as a whole set of personality and face makes me feel like I exist in this world. The idea of educating to change the world is nothing compared to three or four real persons speaking to you in your head whenever you try to recall. Working with them has boosted my self-efficacy as well.

What do you wish you'd done more of?

Exercise!!!! I should have done more bouldering. I get shy going to gyms in general for an unknown reason but I’ll break out of the shell. Reading more books with some directions of learning would have made this year much richer in general. Both fiction and nonfiction. And going to bed early. I am definitely aging and feel exhausted after doing nothing until late at night.

On a side note, I wish I had double checked schedules before booking flights.

Plus, I wish I had studied Spanish. Maybe I’ll make that my New Year’s resolution.

What do you wish you'd done less of?

   Thinking (or talking to myself) without writing down. I wasted a lot of time lamenting the sad reality and status quo of people or norms I encountered on a daily basis, obviously in vain.

    If I write down thoughts and stay objective about them, I would have developed real plans to improve whatever I didn’t like, or at least be convinced and move on to newer topics of thinking. That’ll be my new year’s resolution

  Browsing through social media as if some posts will answer my questions. Now I know it won’t.

Did you fall in love in 2016? 

I feel like I know Jenna Coleman personally after watching Doctor Who straight up.

How many one-night stands?

     hmmmmm actually, zero.

What was your favorite TV program?

   To reiterate, Doctor Who is the best thing that happened. It is holding my mental sanity. Nigeruwahajidaga Yakunitatsu was helpful in seriously considering life in marriage.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Once Erin Chase told me hate is toxic. Since then whenever I am inclined to hate someone I try indifference instead. I grew indifferent to my relationship with a person this year.

What was/were the best book(s) you read?

   Kasai No Hito [people of family court]. It is a series of comic books that feature a family court judge who restores youth who committed crimes and resolves conflicts of married couples trying to divorce through using metaphors of plants. In the justice system where legal solutions are primary means to “resolve” issues, he is an inspiring counselor-judge who is always watering plants, hiking, and not doing much reading and end up saving lives of those who come to the family court. His words are oddly wise and that was my favorite part.

What were your greatest musical discoveries?

  I can’t think of anything.

What did you want and get?

   I wanted to find a topic of research or interest that is very grabbing. I didn’t find it. Instead, I learned a lot of small facts about child welfare, youth psychology, education systems, etc. And my relationship with Sarasa has become more stable.

What was your favorite film of this year?

Moonlight. I usually watch tons of scifi films, but this film led me to reinforce my interest in welfare. It was viewing black communities as just communities, not black communities. In other words, it invited me into the community and experience it.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

    I was facilitating elementary school kids’ discussions on how they are going to teach smartphone rules to even younger children in Kobe. I think they celebrated my birthday, and I was so happy. I turned 25, still unbelievable. 

What did you do for the New Year, Valentine’s, Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas, and any other holidays?

   New Year: I reluctantly and thus very slowly studied for an entrance exam to master’s program.

   Valentine’s: I forgot its existence, which exploded Sarasa and she almost broke up with me. So as a token of apology, I sent her a bottled wine with a photo of us in it. To make sure I forgot about it, I printed the date as February 15. LOL

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? 

  making new local friends to share intellectual and reflective discussions, or doing these things with friends scattered around the world. Now I know this is the most important thing to my life.

  What kept you sane? 

  Monthly hangouts with a friend from Wes. Every month, someone came to visit me. Yvonne, Xian, Matt, Sarasa, thank you! And my family’s constant support is always underrated. Caught up with my personal petty anxiety, reading New York Times and other critical articles on the devastating reality of the world, from changing political climate to humanitarian crises, woke me up and put me right. This was big. Also almost daily skype with Sarasa is the basis of my sanity.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

  Jenna Coleman. It was my first time ever googling a celebrity’s name.

Who did you miss?

  Sarasa and all my friends with whom I share deep shit. I miss prof. Miller too. hahaha

Who was the best new person you met?

Sarah, who is helping out the US-Japan youth exchange program. She is always on top of shit and is truly excited to see the kids grow. Definition of trust.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:

   Sensation fades. Act before thinking, and you will feel joy.

What were your inner conflicts you could not resolve in 2017?

  It is the same conflict that I have been facing all years since college. Do I want to pursue teaching-related work or literature/history related work. But! Writing this made me realize I held a false belief that by getting a teaching experience in Japan I will lose chances to extensively read, write and discuss philosophy, intellectual history and literature in career. Whenever I get bored from finishing tasks related to teaching path, I feel awfully misplaced and am taken over by the nostalgia of intellectual conversations with friends at Wes.

  However, one thing that is clear is that I can continue reading and writing on history and intellectual history through working as a teacher. Let’s not forget that.

  Plus, is nostalgia a proof that I would enjoy going back to academia? What does it mean to read and write and discuss academically?

  Another  conflict I have always had is to live in Japan or in other countries... This has too many factors and everything depends, so I should get over this conflict and be always specific when thinking about locations of residency. And I want to use English, rather than Japanese, for my critical inquiry.

2018 2019               

-get licenses

-intl. exchange program experience

-psych research

-explore topics to inquire about (sociology? contemporary history?)

2020 --> 2022

-teach at elementary/reformatory

-Find what to do next

-Try to produce knowledge (research in psych? soci?)

2023 (age 31)

-PhD in Europe or US

or

-NGO in Mexico --> UNICEF and development career?

2026 (age 34)

-get a teaching position at a university (might not be possible though, with the rise of online education opportunities)

and -Found an organization that does something fun

or

-work for intl. organization while conducting research

2030 (age 40)

-??? cannot even imagine.

What did you like about the projects your worked on? What aspects of those projects do you wish to continue? What other projects do you wish you’d done more of?

1. AK Youth Exchange Project

I liked being paid for the work that helps solve problems that could lead some youth to suicide. It was fun to be the only culturally fluent person to facilitate discussions. Particularly, kids on my side are excited, and I enjoyed being able to be part of the team that can give them this opportunity to them. It feels great to be able to contribute to a local village initiative (Chikusa) that has educational resources that can enrich the lives that touch them. Using my skills to uplift kids with lower self esteem also made me feel good. Writing grant and answering many questions from the grant-giving organization was energy consuming, I think I was able to learn valuable lessons of what to say to whom so that I can invite them into my own world.   I did not like that I had to be swung from left to right by a couple of people who exert age-based authority. I also hate that I do not have a say to certain parts of the project because I am a student. I do not necessarily seek for the highest leadership position, at least I wish I was part of all conversations. I hated being treated as a person who does not have the deciding power. Particularly, the process of paying for my income was not sufficiently explained, and it is still delayed. Those in authority of protecting human rights in Japan are neglecting one of the most important duties. This drives me crazy, I get furious every time I give a thought to this. I will always exchange contracts when there is a salary involved. People really do not care. And be a person who cares. All of the delays could have been avoided if we all met regularly. The problem is that these people say they commit to this without having the necessary time or will to do so. I can’t stand having to be the only listener when I am the youngest. Hate it so much.I would like to continue working on giving chances for youth to think and speak freely about problems and participate in the ecosystem of politics. I guess this is sort of fighting ageism.I hope to do more of intellectualizing this practice-- maybe write a piece to analyze the ecology of this project? Why not! This may lead to a practice report to be published somewhere, talk to Prof. Bauman about it?I was very happy to meet some of the new team members. I would like to continue meeting those who have interests in making the world a better place for disadvantaged youth. It felt nice to connect to a scholar over many rounds of online conferences. I also love traveling, which is so important to my life. I would like to devise more projects that have travel components!! 

2. Getting a teaching license in elementary, junior high and high schooI liked that I had something that would give me a paycheck in a couple of years. One class on human rights was quite an informative and inspiring one in that it taught me precursors who were working for disadvantaged youth and family in rural Japan. That is one reason I can be proud of being a Japanese person.Most of the classes were terrible in that many scholars speak of their ill-informed self-indulgent lectures. Besides understanding the sad reality of malfunctioning academia in Japan, I learned nothing.I wish to continue learning the history of human rights-oriented teachers in the past, and present, globally. That is something that pushes me to work hard to work for disadvantaged people in general. My struggle, in the new lens I just through of, is my tendency to connect with those in the past, rather than those in the present. Or is that what I hope is the case to be the heroin of tragedy?I also have to admit that some classes from Seisa were quite informative in terms of history of education in Japan, as well as what the gov’t has done in shaping the direction of curriculum, effective teaching methods of science and math. That’s not nothing, probably useful skills, but I’m not sure if I can say I fully enjoyed it.

3. Seminars to children and parents 

I definitely enjoyed traveling on train! Train rides make me feel like I am important and so does wearing suits. Pay was very good and I am thankful for that. Conversations with school principals have been somewhat fun, although they aren’t really intellectual. Many of them seem to be swung by newspaper headlines instead of deeply analyzing the reality...  I also enjoyed speaking to an audience of parents and children. The content was developed by Takeuchi-sensei and speaking his content makes me feel like I am doing something good to society, but the thought that it is not mine lingers on. I guess I am learning how to speak, behave and stuff, just instruments. I don’t expect too much from this besides these learning and pay.  I did not like that it was not my original work and that the conversations aren’t so abstract. There isn’t many critical arguments, just questions for the audience. I wish there was more of an discussion that I could provoke in the audience, but to be honest most of the arguments are just plain normative thoughts. I want radical thoughts that change the way I view reality. I want change. I guess boredom overclouds me here.I would like to continue making money from these, but would like to dramatically change slides. At least for children, I want to engage more with them to check the possibility of radical and critical thinking.

4. Flattering Prof. Takeuchi’s students 

  I admit I find it rewarding to engage in conversations with them through critical assessment of the organization. I just complain how authoritarian and dogmatic the organization is in the form of constructive criticism, and I am not sure if some of the sophomores felt my negativity. Talking with sophomores is sometimes fun but I wish we had more of critical discussions on anything. Many students try to say things that please Takeuchi-sensei and I hate that. I would like to be more critical and original in any speech I make and I believe that is how I contribute in general.

I do not desire going to their spring camp and be part of their leadership because I don’t really see myself creating a youth organization where members are uncritical. I also want to discuss intellectual, more challenging things with people who have vocabulary. 

I would like to continue going to smartphone summits occasionally to hear the changing relationships between emerging technology and lives of young people. Besides that, I think I am done and now is the time to move on to my passion, using the communication skills I acquired from these programs.

5. “offline” summer camp

I definitely enjoyed investing my time and energy in working with some of the youth who are struggling with parental over-managing, lack of social skills, lack of communication with parents, etc. When it came down to was their social life problems. It was very inspiring to see that kids who lacked skills to engage with others in effective ways came to be able to do that in 5 days, through extensive chats, play, discussions and simply living together in nature. Structured counseling-like programs also helped them face their problems and claimed the courage to get over.

I enjoyed seeing how kids’ behavior changed, and their emotional energy, not fully expressed, was very pleasant to feel. The camp master’s lessons on “life” felt quite meaningful to be part of, like killing fish taking life and continue the circle of life. What is the point of life?

I was so happy to be able to connect to a girl that at first I didn’t feel would connect to very deeply. She seemed so shy, didn’t talk much, and didn’t show facial expressions. But she cried when I gave her a farewell letter. It taught me that being able to express is a skill that not everyone has the privilege to have. But so what? How much do I care about it? Maybe it was fun but I guess this is sort of like my hobby?

I did not like how youth services people had to call college facilitators over to a kid who was actually intentionally left alone because he was tired of socializing only to show their boss that kids are being cared for. I would argue that an intellectual, confident move would have been to explain fully to their boss that these college facilitators are strategic about engaging with kids, and ask them to articulate their strategies later. I know people aren’t perfect, but it made me angry and Prof should have confronted it. I wish there was more of a critical discussions, rather than top-down advising from camp leaders and adults to youth, honestly. I want more democratic organizational structures with high, and diverse abilities.

“You told me I should be kind to myself. But you should also be more kind to yourself.” -In a letter from a student.

She might have identified the darkness that clouds my path ahead, that I do not know how to satisfy myself. It is true. I do not know what makes me happy honestly. What makes me happy? Writing like this soothes me and makes me feel like I matter to myself. How can I make myself matter to myself?? That is the question this student taught me to think about.

Not sure if summer camps would be my thing, but I would like to continue engaging very deeply with others. Because by doing so, she tried to wonder about my nature and offered such an insightful letter to me. This is a very, very important question to myself. Care for self, and think about what to do that can make me care for myself.

Well but still the song-singing felt so touching and it restored my faith in some of the basic values of being in company with others, having nice friendships.

6. Facilitation for youth programs

  There were some moments I felt quite fulfilling when I was able to help kids be vulnerable and open up. It was also rewarding to compliment them and they seemed really happy and became confident in what they do.

  And the topics included addiction to cyberbullying and usokoku and those are serious concerns for youth. I felt that by being part of the programs that help youth and adults understand the status quo of cyber life, I mattered to the world. That is a great feeling. However, I wish I would be able to feel more Adrenalin pumping though. In other words, although I felt I mattered to the world, I did not matter to myself. To my self, I wasn’t great enough; should my assessment scale be changed or my actions changed?

I would like to continue participating in these programs to better understand both changing and unchanging truth about human lives. but what is actually it that would make me feel like I matter to myself?

7. Volunteer at Kodomohiroba

  This is one of the biggest reasons I feel I would enjoy becoming a school teacher. Every time, I stepped closer to opening up the students who are totally at a loss; parents have brought them to Japan with their reasons and put in school systems that do not have the sufficient support system. But some students seemed so happy talking with me who tries to connect with them through variety of means. It’s like the kids were waiting for me to touch their lives. Maybe they were waiting FOR me to touch their lives so that I can feel like I matter to myself. At the end of each volunteer, I always feel fulfilled, having done great things. Why? It’s not an academic discussion, but I just really enjoy that informal mingling with kids who have different backgrounds and see them open up to me. It’s kind of like me traveling to other countries and meeting with young locals (esp. Mexico) and connecting with them.

I will absolutely continue to volunteer at this organization and find what makes me feel that I matter to myself. Or just simply joy? Is a simply joy enough?

I also enjoyed working with people of various ages and occupations. It is an environment where I can stay faithful in people’s care for civil duty and philanthropy.

I did not like how understanding of students isn’t systematically shared. Maybe I would step up and suggest creating a database of students’ needs, study skills and backgrounds. A

8. Volunteer at elementary schools

It was as joyful as to forget my feeling of being misplaced. I liked my social skills developed a bond with many children. When it comes to building ties, the teachers weren’t an exception. Being able to connect with people as human beings is a rewarding experience. I was particularly happy that children found me interesting, and I found them interesting. With this mutual act of finding each other simply interesting, I cannot help but be nostalgic of the unforgettable sensation and the feeling of my existence mattering to myself through reflective conversations with friends. Maybe I like to be reflective and understand something deep in human thoughts? This leads me to think of reformatory education as one of my potential career paths again. 

I also enjoyed thinking about the role of music in children’s development. From music classes to sports day activities, music seemed to play a large role in facilitating the construction of ties among children. 

There isn’t much I did not like about this project, I think. I would like to continue visiting the elementary school and analyze in what way I want to work with people.

9. Working with UNICEF

I liked that I am working with an intl. organization. That’s cool because it is a symbol of globalization and celebration of cultural diversity. I enjoyed having conversations with some of the smarter people too. Working with UNICEF helped me contextualize seemingly trivial voices of youth I hear hear and there in the changing dialogues of human rights protection.

If possible I would like to keep learning about what is going on around the world. I would love to intern at either in Japan office, NY office or in Mexico to better understand what international organizations can and cannot do, and see how much I like being part of them.

What other projects do you wish you’d done more of?

-I wish I had done more reflective writing and talking. This is to identify project ideas that ring my bell. I am looking for ways to use my life so that I feel I matter to myself.

(Be concrete)

-reading history books for pleasure

-Investment

-read more in psychology, criminology, developmental psych, etc, especially reformatory education-related stuff

-Launch statistical analyses projects

-

New world of career in 2018?

-internship at ...

--> reformatory? can I work with youth on reflection?

-volunteer at...

-try to meet with ...

[mrjeremydylan]

My Favorite Album #188 - The Bitter Script Reader on Tom Hanks’ classic rock’n’roll movie ‘That Thing You Do’ (1996)

Film author and blogger the Bitter Script Reader joins me to celebrate Tom Hanks' classic 1996 film That Thing You Do, the best rock'n'roll biopic to only feature fictional pop bands.

We talk about how the film embodies the spirit of early 60s rock, as well as the spirit of Tom Hanks, how Hanks used his leverage as the biggest movie star on earth to get this idiosyncratic little film made, how the original songs in the film feel authentic to the period without feeling like parodies of real 60s rock, the trick of creating fake historical stars in films set amongst real history, how Fountains of Wayne's Adam Schlesinger was responsible for the title song and how the film morally diverges from almost all other rock'n'roll movies.

Listen in the player above or download the episode by clicking here.

Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes here or in other podcasting apps by copying/pasting our RSS feed - http://myfavoritealbum.libsyn.com/rss My Favorite Album is a podcast unpacking the great works of pop music. Each episode features a different songwriter or musician discussing their favorite album of all time - their history with it, the making of the album, individual songs and the album’s influence on their own music. Jeremy Dylan is a filmmaker, journalist and photographer from Sydney, Australia who has worked in the music industry since 2007. He directed the the feature music documentary Jim Lauderdale: The King of Broken Hearts (out now!) and the feature film Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins, in addition to many commercials and music videos.

If you’ve got any feedback or suggestions, drop us a line at myfavoritealbumpodcast@gmail.com.

LINKS

- The Bitter Script Reader on Twitter, his blog and buy his book ‘Michael Fucking Bay’ here.

- Buy ‘That Thing You Do’ the film and the soundtrack.

- Jeremy Dylan’s website, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook page.

- Like the podcast on Facebook here.

- If you dig the show, please leave a rating or review of the show on iTunes here.

CHECK OUT OUR OTHER EPISODES

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[trashcanreddiefan]

The 4th Annual Losers’ Club Christmakkah Celebration 1/2

Summary: The Losers gather for their fourth annual Christmakkah celebration, and this time Richie and Eddie get a Christmakkah surprise.

Word Count: 1500-ish for part 1. (This part ran away with me so I decided to split the fic into 2 parts.)

Warnings: Usual Trashmouth swearing.

Author’s Note: Post-Chapter 2. All of the Losers are alive in this fic, including Stan, because canon can suck it. Final part in the series, unless I get some other ideas. Part 1 here, part 2 here, part 3 here.

CROSS-POSTED AT AO3.

"Happy holidays," Richie sang along as he looped the Christmas lights around his and Eddie's Christmakkah tree. "Happy holidays, while the merry bells keep ringing, happy holidays tooooo youuuuuu!"

He paused as he heard the key in the lock, going to his record player to turn the music down.

He could hear the front door open and the sound of keys dropping in the bowl on the sofa table next to the door. "Rich?" Eddie's voice called out. "I'm home!"

"In here!" Richie called back.

Eddie walked into their living room. "Hey, babe." He looked up at the Christmakkah tree. "Starting the decorations without me?"

Richie shook his head. "Just putting the lights up. I knew you'd probably be tired after work so this way we wouldn't have to wait to get the ornaments up."

Eddie nodded. "Sounds good. Feel like Italian for dinner?"

"Mmm, baby, you know I'm always in the mood for some Spaghetti," Richie said with a wink.

Eddie raised an eyebrow and gently stroked a finger up Richie's arm. "Well if you play your cards right, you might even get a second helping tonight," he whispered seductively.

Richie's breath hitched. Holy fuck that's hot.

No matter how long he and Eddie had known each other (the 20-plus years of clown-induced amnesia notwithstanding), Eddie still managed to surprise him.

Eddie smirked then gave Richie a quick kiss. "I'm gonna go change out of my scrubs after I order the food. Want anything special tonight or just your usual?"

Richie mentally shook his head, trying to clear it of the fog of lust his husband had stirred within him. "Uh, actually yeah, can you add some gnocchi to my regular order? The cream sauce they serve them in is ah-mazing."

"Ok, sure thing."

Richie watched as Eddie left the living room. I hate to see him go, but I sure love to watch him leave, he thought, making a mental note to add that joke to his next routine.

As much as Richie joked about how hot Eddie looked in his scrubs, he was seriously proud of him. Eddie had earned a second bachelor's degree in nursing in only a year, graduated top of his class, was offered a TA position while he was pursuing his Master's degree, earned THAT degree in a year and a half, and had immediately been offered a permanent position as a nurse practitioner at the fancy clinic where he had done his clinicals.

Eddie was finally doing what he loved, and it made Richie happy to see his husband so happy.

He had just finished stringing the lights and was surveying his work when Eddie came back downstairs wearing sweatpants that were a bit too long on him and a comfortable, worn sweatshirt with the sleeves rolled up.

"Mmm, Eds, have I ever told you just how hot you look in my clothes?" Richie sighed, wrapping his arms around Eddie.

"Maybe once or twice," Eddie replied with a wink. "Lights look good."

"I'm not sure if I have them spaced out enough," Richie replied. "It's our first official Christmakkah as a married couple, plus we're hosting the Losers this year. I want the tree to be perfect."

"No, I like it." Eddie sighed, leaning into Richie. "Just think, next year we'll have our first official Christmakkah as parents."

"That's so fucking wild." Richie ran a hand through his hair. "I still can't believe that we're gonna be dads."

Richie had never pictured himself having a family until after his niece was born, but the second he saw Olivia in Eddie's arms he thought, I want that.   He had been nervous about bringing it up with Eddie because he wasn't sure if Eddie wanted kids, but luckily he had had nothing to worry about.

They had been babysitting Max, Bill and Audra's then 6-month-old son, while Bill and Audra were attending a film premiere and Richie had been watching Eddie softly singing to Max while rocking him to sleep. "Hey Eds," he said, "what do you think about maybe having one of our own one day?"

Eddie froze, then glanced up at Richie. "Is that something you want?" he asked casually.

"Yeah, I think I do." Richie bit his lip. "Is that something you might want?"

"Rich," Eddie had breathed. "I want nothing more than to have a family with you."

Both had agreed that they weren't getting any younger, so they had discussed their options, ultimately choosing to have a child via a surrogate.

They found out in early April that the procedure had been a success, so in just a few weeks Richie and Eddie would be welcoming a son.

They had discussed when and how to share their news, and since the Losers were gathering at Ben & Bev's for their son Burke's first birthday a few weeks after they found out they were expecting, they decided to surprise everyone there.

They had waited until all the other guests had left and only the Losers were remaining.

They were all sitting around outside on Ben and Bev's deck watching the kids play at their feet when Eddie pulled out an envelope and handed it to Bev. "Oh hey, Richie and I forgot to put Burke's birthday card with his other gifts."

"Oh ok, that's fine," Bev had replied. "Burkey, come see your birthday card from Uncle Eddie and Uncle Richie."

She set Burke on her lap, opened the envelope and pulled the card out.

Richie grabbed Eddie's hand, giving it a squeeze.

"For a special 1-year-old," Bev read. "Lots of love, lots of cake, lots of time to celebrate! Happy 1st birthday Burke -- love Uncle Eddie, Uncle Richie, and Baby Kaspbrak-Tozier."

Seven pairs of eyes looked at them in surprise.

"Yep, that's right," Richie crowed, pulling the sonogram out of his wallet. "I knocked Eddie up -- we're gonna be dads!"

After a group hug and round of congratulations Richie and Eddie shared the details -- biologically, the baby would be Eddie's and was due in mid-January. ("I want our kids to be cute, Eds, not look like Sasquatch," Richie had argued when they first started talking about surrogacy. Eddie had eventually agreed on one condition; that they at least try to find a surrogate that had similar features as Richie. They had lucked out in finding Sarah, who was a tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed woman with similar features as Richie. If Richie didn't know any better he would've thought that they could've been siblings.)

Richie leaned down to give Eddie a kiss, tenderly stroking his thumb across his husband's cheek as he did so. "So how was work?"

"Oh, you know how it gets around the holidays," Eddie replied. "Everyone seems to be coming down with something. Which reminds me, you still need to get your flu shot. We don't want to run the risk of one of us getting sick and passing it to Sarah or the baby."

Richie smirked. "As long as you're the one to give it to me. I know how much you love to stick things in my--"

"It goes in your arm, you pervert," Eddie interrupted, shaking his head fondly. "But either way, come by the clinic tomorrow and I'll fit you in in between patients."

"Ok, I have a meeting with Steve and those people from Netflix about the new special at 10, so I'll swing by on my way home."

Their conversation was interrupted by the doorbell. "You get the food, I'll get the plates?" Eddie said.

"Sure, babe."

Richie answered the door, tipping the delivery driver generously. He brought the bags into the living room, where he and Eddie settled themselves on the sofa with their respective meals.

"So we had a kid in the clinic today whose name was Mandolin," Eddie said, taking a bite of eggplant parmesan. "Parents call her Lin."

Richie shook his head. Ever since they had started discussing baby names, Eddie would come home complaining about some of the unusual monikers people bestowed upon their kids.

Before Richie could even open his mouth to comment, Eddie added, "And no, we're still not naming our son Edison!"

"Actually, I was going to suggest Richardson," Richie joked.

Eddie gave Richie a playful shove on the arm. "We do need to decide on a name, though," he said seriously.  "Especially if we want to personalize any of the decorations in his room."

They finished eating and got up to decorate their Christmakkah tree. Each ornament had been carefully chosen as a symbol of Richie & Eddie's relationship, including a microphone, a pair of rings, a tiny inhaler (a joke gift from Richie to Eddie) and their newest ornament, a personalized etched crystal with their names and wedding date.

After the ornaments were hung and Eddie had declared the tree perfect, they cleaned up their dishes and headed to bed, Richie dreaming of a dark-haired boy with his eyes and Eddie's smile.