#me (totally not spooked): JOKES! COMEDY! LAUGHS!
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revchainsaw · 3 years ago
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An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Welcome to the Cult of Cult! I am Reverend Chainsaw and Today we read from the book of 1st Lycanthropy and indulge in a truly impactful cult film; John Landis' An American Werewolf in London. As far back as I can remember I thought that being a Werewolf would be nothing short of bad ass, but An American Werewolf in London totally delivers in the horror of the affliction, a task all to often ignored by werewolf films.
The Message
An American Werewolf in London tells the story of an American Werewolf in London. The name is a quite apt plot summary in the way of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. You will know exactly what you're getting with this movie. Two young American men known as Jack and David are backpacking across Europe and they find themselves on foot travelling across the moors of Yorkshire. They discover an unwelcoming pub known as the Slaughtered Lamb. They quickly put off the patrons and are ominously warned about beasts that are out on the moors, but are ultimately made to leave the pub. While out in the moors the two boys are viciously attacked by a mysterious creature.
David wakes up in a London hospital and learns that his friend and Travel companion Jack was killed by the beast. David is held by the hospital and begins a romance with a nurse named Alex. Alex eventually lets David crash at her place and things get spicy. But the whole time David is beset by dreams and visions of violence, and wakes up in strange places like the London Zoo. One of his most recurring visions is the phantasmagoric image of his dead friend Jack providing macabre warnings and exposition about exactly what David is going through. Jack urges David to kill himself before he fully succumbs to his lycanthropic curse.
David's budding romance with Nurse Alex, and medical professionals insistence that he's just a little twisted in the head from his trauma leads him to ignore these prophecies and he eventually undergoes one of the best looking werewolf transformations ever put to screen. David eventually does try to off himself but it's too late and as a wolf he terrorizes the streets of London until Alex is forced to witness him mowed down by a shower of police bullets.
The Benediction
Best Aspect: The Horror! The Horror!
As I mentioned earlier many Werewolf movies simply insist that being a werewolf is a scary thing, but they play the 'curse' like a superpower. The monster doesn't attack anybody who doesn't deserve it or something. In An American Werewolf in London the curse of Lycanthropy feels constantly dangerous for both David and the people around him. There is always a tension that the next person he hurts will be someone he loves. The other downside that just ups the misery of the werewolf experience is the painful transformation, the social stigma of being a maniac who thinks he transforms into a wolf, and the mental torture of your victims ghosts haunting your waking hours. It's a truly terrible fate that has never been portrayed as powerfully before or since. Werewolves are often badass but they are rarely scary. This is not a problem for this film.
Worst Aspect: Comedy?
An American Werewolf in London is often touted as a great example of Horror Comedy. But here's the thing, the comedy is not very comedic. I've never watched this movie for a laugh. As mentioned above the overall tone of this film is bleak and nihilistic. It's a miserable fate and the film doesn't play it for laughs. It's a horror movie with effective levity, but it is not at all a comedy, I don't care what John Landis thinks. If this is a comedy, it's a piss poor one. That's not really a problem for me though, the horror is good enough.
Best Dialogue: Bedside Manner
In one of the above mentioned moments of levity that might actually qualify as the only joke that lands is when Nurse Alex is dealing with a little boy who's staying at the hospital. This precocious runt is giving her a difficult time by playfully responding "NO" to everything she asks of him. She then asks if he's "ever been severely beaten about the face and neck?" and it's pretty freaking funny. But it doesn't play as a gag, as much as a little insight into the wit of Nurse Alex's Character.
Best Effect: Obvious Winner is Obvious
Google "Best Werewolf Transformation" and I'm sure you will see this exact scene. If you have never seen An American Werewolf in London I am certain you've seen this sequence. If you haven't then you are severely missing out. Stop reading this right now and look it up. This transformation sequence alone is worth watching this film for, the good news is that there is a pretty great horror flick on both ends as well.
Best Sequence: Nightmarapalooza
The best sequence of An American Werewolf in London is another absolutely overplayed and obvious answer. The Nightmare that David has in the hospital that features a violent invasion of gun toting, dog faced Nazis blowing the place to hell is pretty much a weird ass 80s metal music video in the middle of a werewolf movie and it provides just enough novelty to this film to set it apart from your typical full moon fare.
Honorable Mention: Moon's Out
There's full on butt in this movie. So if you like butt's. It's full of butt.
Summary
An American Werewolf In London falls into the category of movies that it almost feels like a waste of time to review, but it also falls squarely into the category of movies that are the whole reason that I do this for myself. This is a personal project of getting my feelings about these kinds of spooks out.
An American Werewolf in London is on an objective level the best Werewolf movie out there for your money. It's honestly a shame we don't have more, but we'd need about a hundred more before we can beat this picture. On a subjective level American Werewolf is still not my favorite. The carnage is slow to arrive, but when it finally does it is well worth the wait. The characters are not particularly charming or engaging. I spend a lot of time waiting for my favorite parts to happen and not particularly enjoying the spaces in between. Some horror flicks set up an atmosphere that just makes the whole film feel like a part of the cohesive horror experience and this movie doesn't. It has too much of a love story between two not particularly loveable characters. It's never a bad time to watch, it's just not as fun as you'd expect the "best horror comedy ever' to be.
To keep it short, An American Werewolf in London is a bleak and frightening monster movie with positively impressive special effects that hold up 40 years later. You have to see it.
Overall Grade: A
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weirdponytail · 4 years ago
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Eragon: Book vs Movie. Set & Scene 1
SCENE 1, SET
Brom flipped through the thick packet, one leg crossed over the other. He was sitting in a folding actors chair, a troubled expression on his face.
“Wait, so you just want me to read this?” The old man turned to the Shadow behind him. “Just, read this out loud while things happen around me?”
“Correct.”
Brom sighed. “Alright then,” he opened his mouth to begin but then closed it. One of the other lines had caught his attention. “Oh dear. She isn’t going to like that. Um, might I suggest-”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?” Out of nowhere, a burlap skirt came flying at high speed to promptly smack the Shadow right in region it’s face should have been. Brom sighed again and covered his face with his hands. “AND YOU CAN KEEP THIS SHIT, TOO! WHAT ARE THESE, MOULDED LEATHER TITS?!” A hard leather
shirt
thing
followed the skirt and struck with considerably more force, two rocks falling out of the moulded
breast region.
The elder Dragon Rider followed the trajectory of the clothing to see Arya fuming on set, wearing her usual leathers instead of the movie getup their employers had insisted on. Durza was a few strides behind her, howling with laughter at the ‘torture’ the directors were putting the elf through. He was practically crying, braced on his knees. Every time he seemed to be close to stopping, the shade would glance at the script of the first scene and start up again.
“Arya, come on.” Brom started. “I know it’s demeaning, and your mother will probably kill all of us involved if you don’t get to us first, but it’s only a few minutes for this scene. Then you can get back in your clothes and, as a bonus, your contract says you can kick Durza in his nether regions after every take.”
Durza stopped laughing.
Arya crossed her arms and glared at the Shadow. “Make it twice.”
“I have no objection to that.” The Shadow threw the elf the clothes.
The woman turned to change and came face to face with the shade, stopping her. “I swear, little elf, if you even think about doing that, I’ll change the script back to the way it really happened.”
Arya smirked. It was hard to take Durza seriously when he was wearing such ridiculous amounts of makeup and color changing contacts. She leaned in until their noses were almost touching and hissed, “You probably like it, masochist.” Then slipped around him and sauntered off. She could feel his eyes on her back and threw a one fingered salute over her shoulder. “And stop staring at my ass!” 
Durza coughed, caught in the act, and turned back to the Shadow. “I also have an issue with my
wardrobe.”
“Your contract renders all your complaints moot.”
“But does it really have to be covered in glitter glue?” Durza lifted his armored shirt in dismay. “And why must I wear this padding? I’m not chubby, why do you insist on making it look like I am?”
Brom stifled a sarcastic chuckle. “I know you think you’re a vampire with the new costume, Durza, but you really need to look in a mirror.”
Durza scowled at the Rider before growling “I’ll be at my starting point.” And whipped around with a swirl of his new cape. He passed by the trailer just as Arya was walking out, trying to tug the hem of her skirt further down her legs to cover as much skin as possible. “Nice legs, elf.” He casually remarked and quickly took off in a sprint before she could wind up and punch him all the way to Daret.
The ground began to shake as Nar Garzvog lumbered up to the Shadow, his clan of Urgals in tow. “Misty One, where do you wish us to stand for our part?”
The Shadow waved the Kull off. “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you, we won’t be needing you. We’ll be using these men.” It pointed towards the group of six-foot chub monsters with blue sharpie on their faces. “Much cheaper, and less stench. Go on, get out.” It snapped its fingers and the clan disappeared in a poof of sulfur smelling smoke.
“Now, Arya, please take your place. We need to begin. Brom, if you would please?”
Brom cleared his throat and picked up his script as Arya hopped onto the horse provided. “Remember, Arya, just grin and bear it.”
“Yeah, that’s what politics is all about. I’m going to kill Nasuada for suggesting this to raise war funds.”
“Ready? ACTION!” 
SCENE 1 FOREST CHASE 
Brom cleared his throat again and began in his best ‘Badass Storyteller’ voice.
“There was a time when the fierce and beautiful land of Alagaesia, was ruled by men astride mighty dragons

“To protect and serve was their mission. And for thousands of years, the people prospered. But the Riders grew arrogant, and began to-” He stopped, flabbergasted. “Now wait just a minute, this isn’t correct at all! We never fought each other, Galbatorix went bloody insane for the Stars sakes!” He twisted around the glare at the Shadow. “What kind of hack is this? You’re ruining an already fragile history!”
“Keep reading.” The Shadow snapped. “History doesn’t make money, drama makes money. I own you until this film is complete, so keep. Reading.”
Brom sank into his chair, grumbling. “This is so beyond my pay grade. Achhem, But the Riders grew arrogant, and began to fight among themselves for power.
“Sensing their weakness, a young Rider named” Brom paused, and took a moment to slowly and carefully pronounce the tyrant’s name, “Gal-buh-tor-ix betrayed them. And in a single bloody battle, believed he had killed them all. Riders, and dragons alike.
“Well, you got something right.” Brom griped, but turned back to reading when the Shadow mouthed ‘own you.’ “Since then, our land has been ruled by Gal-buh-tor-ix. He crushed all rebellion including the freedom fighters known
as the Varden.
“Those that survived fled to the mountains. There, they hoped for a miracle that might even their odds against the king.”
Brom threw the script down. “Now that I’m done with this mediocre pile of shit, let me tell you something! The Varden has never openly had an army verses army war with dear old Galby until Farthen Dur, you illiterate fool!”
The Shadow opened its mouth to reply but a whoop from out in the forest cut it off. “Oooo, Brom is getting maaaaaad!”
“ARYA, BE QUIET!” The Shadow yelled. “You aren’t done yet, Brom! CUE THE CHASE SCENE!”
“Wait, what?” Arya raised an eyebrow then let out a startled yelp as three of the new ‘Urgals’ lunged from the bushes and slapped the three horses on the rump, sending them off at a breakneck gallop. “OH FUCK YOU!”
“Read!” The Shadow snapped.
“Fine! Our story begins one night, as Arya, an ally of the Varden, rides for her life. Carrying a stone, stolen from the king himself.” Brom looked up with a sour expression. “I STOLE THAT, BY THE WAY! NOT YOU!”
“I’m not arguing!” Arya yelled back, trying to reign in the very spooked horse catapulting through the woods with one hand while frantically flipping through the script with another
“CUE DURZA CLOSE UP!”
Durza glanced down at his script and raised his eyebrows, then jerked back as a camera suddenly shot up inches from his face. “Oh! Um
HSSSSSS-“ He managed a few seconds before shoving the camera away. “THAT WAS NOT MANLY OR SHADELY AT ALL!” Laughter from the direction of his elfin companion could be heard. “I WILL HAVE YOU TORN TO PIECES FOR LAUGHING, ELF!”
She ignored him, finally reaching the correct page of the script. “Ah! Human stand ins get shot-”
Two of the new Urgals popped up, holding loaded crossbows level with the two stuntmen currently taking the place of Glenwing and Faolin.
“We’re sorry.” The larger one said sincerely. “It’s nothing personal, really! But they said they wouldn’t wash the sharpie off unless we do what they say.” They both fired.
Two very shocked and very dead stuntmen hit the ground. Arya stepped her now calmer horse around the bodies and settled her chin on her fist, scanning the script again. “And then
then what, Urgals, Urgals, uh
oh here. I get tackled off and throw down a hill.” After a moment of silence, the woman straightened, a deadpan expression on her face. “I should have read this before hand.”
She could hear the thudding footsteps of the Urgal running towards her and quickly clambered to a crouch on top of the saddle. “Fuck it, I’m jumping.” With that, Arya dove off the horse to the drop at the side. Moments later the Urgal landed on the poor animal. “PETA’s gonna sue yo-OW FUCK SHIT OW, SON OF A BITCH WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU WAIT FOR A VALUABLE PRISONER OW TO BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL WITH ROCKS AT THE BOTTOM TO TACKLE THEM?!”
Brom turned to the Shadow. “I’d like to know that as well.”
The Shadow waved it off. “Semantics. Don’t need it.”
“Oh for the love of- This isn’t even the Ancient Language!” Both looked up to see Durza standing on his ‘cliff,’ about to set the woods on fire. “I can’t summon a flame with this!”
“Light the forest on fire.” The Shadow commanded. “You must use the words provided.”
“But that won’t even work!”
“Then set it on fire using the Ancient language in your head.” The Shadow snarled. “I don’t have time for this!”
“That is incredibly dangerous, and my contract-”
“Says you’re a total pussy and that you enjoy romantic comedies and light bondage in the fine print, now SET THE FUCKING FOREST ON FIRE!”
Durza complied, but only while shooting the Shadow the bird.
Right on time Arya cleared the permitted ‘fire circle of doom’ area and skidded to a stop before she ran into the opposing wall of flames. “So, what, we doing this again?”
“Unfortunately.” Durza strode through the fire. Well, not exactly strode. He had to wave his hands in front of his face to prevent the heat from melting his makeup. He cleared his throat and put on his best ‘rape face’ as the script asked. “Give it to me!”
“D-” Arya paused, her previously prepared dirty joke flying out the window as she saw the blocked text. “Wait, this thing says I have my sword out. Why the hell don’t I just stab you in the chest?”
“SEMANTICS!” Came the yell from off scene.
“Riiiggghht.” Arya shoved the script into the leather bracer on her arm. “Achhem, well. Time to be a bitch.”
“There’s a time when you aren’t a bitch?” Durza remarked, appearing sincerely puzzled.
“Shut up.” The elf shifted into a fighting stance. “Durza!”
Durza switched back into his movie persona. “And I’ll let you live.”
“Is there anyone who trusts the words of a shade?” Arya scoffed. “Oh, that’s very true. Hey, do I really have to teleport this?”
“CONTRACT!”
Arya huffed and pulled the ‘stone’ out of her bag. “Fine. This is going to hurt like a bitch.” Seconds later she was on the ground, blinking stars out of her eyes. “Ooowwww
”
Durza chuckled, “Where did you send it?”’
The elf notice where his eyes were. “What, would you like me to hitch my skirt up a bit more for you?”
“What can I say? I like the hot, sweaty leather look.” He grinned. “The light bondage part of the contract wasn’t lying.”
She scowled. “Poor Durza
How will you tell the king
you’re a total freak? Ahhem, I mean, you failed.”
The two then paused, pulling out their scripts. They spent a few moments reading before Durza started laughing and Arya started swearing.
“What the hell is this?!” She yelled. “[ACT LIKE YOU’RE HAVING AN INTENSE BUT PAINFUL ORGASM]?!?! This is TORTURE?!”
The Shadow materialized in the fire circle. “We just need you to act in pain. The orgasm part is afterwards.”
“Excuse me,” Durza raised his hand. “what is a ‘force choke?’”
“Pretend you’re choking her with your fingers but don’t touch her.” The Shadow made a ‘get on with it’ gesture.
The two looked at each other.
“I’m totally okay with this.” Durza shrugged.
“Yeah, well I’m not!” Arya snapped. “No way am I going to roll around in pain then pretend to bask in post orgasmic bliss in front of YOU of all people!”
“Well, we can do something about that first one.” Durza suddenly stomped on the elf’s stomach. 
“OW!!” She reflexively curled into a ball. “YOU BASTARD!”
Durza looked over his shoulder at the Shadow. “We have the rolling around in pain part down, but I’m not the guy to call to get that second part. You’re going to need this guy, Faolin, he lives-” Arya managed to roll up and land a particularly damaging punch on the shade’s crotch. “OW!! YOU BITCH!” He collapsed and began rolling around in pain, clutching his wounded merchandise.
The Shadow sighed. “Alright. That’s a wrap. SOMEONE TELL ERAGON WE’RE HEADING HIS WAY!”
“Someone warn the poor boy.” Brom rubbed his temples before packing up his chair and helping Arya up. “Tell him we already have wounded. It’ll be a miracle if nobody dies before this is over.” They stepped over the dead stuntmen and made their way towards Carvahall, Durza crawling behind them.
~~~~~~
(Set & Scene 2)
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just-come-baek · 5 years ago
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at your scarvice
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Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ft. Jimin x OC (Jiwoo) and other BTS members as cameos
Themes: smut | comedy | ghost!au | haunted house!au | amateur ghost hunters!au | friends to lovers!au
Word count: 12.2k
Summary: “I’ve done a research about a haunted house which is like only one village away from Jiwoo’s parents’ house, and it would be awesome if we went there for a quick ghost hunt before the party. You can even bring all your cameras and shoot a Halloween special for your YouTube channel or whatever. You’re subscribers will love it, and besides, what could possibly go wrong?”
Prompt: “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”
Warnings: amateur ghost hunting | irresponsible usage of ghost hunting devices | mentions of brutal deaths | mentions of Jungkook being a YouTuber | plenty pop culture references | friendly bickering | main characters being idiots | occasional spooky stuff | penetrative sex | 
__________
Knock! Knock!
“What are you doing here?” Jungkook asked straightforwardly upon seeing me on the other side of the doors. As per usual, I smiled brightly, waiting for him to move aside, so I could feel myself home.
“I’m inviting myself in,” I answered, walking past him. “Tonight is a big day, and we gotta get ourselves ready,” I added and put two heavy shopping bags on the floor before plopping on the couch, catching my breath. “I planned the entire day, and we’re already far behind schedule. If it wasn’t for the traffic, I would be here about thirty minutes earlier.”
“It’s just a Halloween party,” Jungkook stated, and I rolled my eyes. “It’s no big deal; Jiwoo organizes one every year.”
“The party is just one of the things we’re gonna do,” I started, excited to tell him about everything I had meticulously planned. I was going to make sure he would never forget this night. “I’ve prepared a few surprises before the party.”
“Do I wanna know?” Jungkook asked, sitting in an armchair across from me.
“One thing at a time, okay?” I proposed, and Jungkook unwillingly complied; he had never been the one to fancy surprises, but he could make an exception for his best friend. “First thing on the list – re-watching the season 6 of Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural while eating unhealthy snacks and having gin and tonic drinks,” I revealed, and Jungkook scrutinized me, making an ugly face.
“Are we talking postmortem, too?”
“I can’t believe you had to ask me that,” I answered, a little bit disappointed that he thought I’d skip this content. Never; it was too good to be ever skipped on.
“Sweet,” Jungkook exclaimed, jumping out of the armchair in excitement. “Why don’t you turn on the playlist, and I’ll go get us glasses and a bowl for the chips?”
Hurriedly, I logged into Jungkook’s computer and turned on YouTube.
“Which episode was your favorite?” Jungkook asked me as he sat on the couch beside me, setting the tableware on the coffee table next to the laptop.
“All of them were good. They’ve gathered a lot of evidence this season, but for me, the house call one was the best."
“It was dope, but my favorite is definitely the season finale,” Jungkook stated, and I couldn't disagree. All of the episodes were great, and it was impossible to choose the best one – objectively, at least. All of them were hilarious and spooky in their own way, and it was a delight to re-watch them again. “The marathon shall begin,” he added, pressing the play button.
“Finally.”
It was a very peaceful afternoon, and frankly, it was exactly what I needed after a couple of hectic days at the university. The professors were more demanding than usual, and a relaxing hangout was the perfect remedy to all the stress I had been put under.
Per each episode, Jungkook and I would have a drink and empty a bag of potato chips, occasionally bickering about how we would act in these haunted places. While we both considered ourselves shainiacs, it was quite obvious we would chicken out in the moment of strange, not necessarily supernatural, occurrence.
For the outsiders, Jungkook might have seemed to be a tough cookie, but in reality, he was just a big softie. I, on the other side, enjoyed horrors a bit too much; therefore, in the face of danger, I would laugh.
Probably.
One cannot be sure without actually witnessing a supernatural occurrence. Best case scenario – a full- body apparition. 
“You would totally run outside screaming,” Jungkook snickered when the ghoul boys’ spirit box picked up a bizarre voice. “You would lose your fucking mind.”
“I would let out a confused chuckle at best,” I fought back, but Jungkook wasn’t having any of this, throwing a potato chip at me, blowing a raspberry. “See, this is why Jiwoo doesn’t like you. You’re too childish.”
“What are you talking about? Jiwoo adores me,” Jungkook protested, and I couldn’t help myself but burst his little bubble of confidence and self-assurance. “I'm like... her best friend.”
“She only tolerates you because she has the biggest crush on Jimin,” I explained, and Jungkook gasped in disbelief. “What? You didn’t know?” I asked, confused because it was too obvious not to notice her infatuation. Only Jimin was too blind to see it, despite Jiwoo’s blatant flirting.
“Of course, I know. I’m not that stupid,” Jungkook answered, but I still thought he and Jimin shared one brain cell. “Too bad for her; Jimin's dumb.”
“I'm betting she's gonna make a move tonight,” I started, knowing the juicy gossip which would pique Jungkook's interest. “Jimin told me he's cosplaying as Fred from Scooby-Doo, and she's coincidentally dressing as Daphne. She's gonna be as subtle as a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”
“Weird way to put it, but I agree,” Jungkook answered, giggling adorably under his breath. “And where's your costume?” Jungkook asked, confused, as he finally noticed the lack of my spooky outfit. Our whole crew enjoyed Halloween too much to attend a party in basic all black clothes. “Jiwoo's not gonna let you in without one. You know it.”
“Relax; I'm going as the Nun from the Conjuring Universe. My costume's at Jiwoo's. I'm not parading in that hellish make-up, giving people heart attacks,” I elaborated, and Jungkook nodded, understanding my choice. Last year, I had been dressed as a very vivid horror character, and a few elders had got pretty spooked. I'm not going down that road again. “I've only got white face powder, three black eyeliners, and a set of black contact lenses on me. And check this out; all of it fitted into my new fanny pack. It's awesome, isn't it?” I showed it to Jungkook, and he grabbed it to investigate my new purchase.
“I've been trying to convince you to buy one for almost a year; what've changed your mind?” Jungkook asked suspiciously, remembering numerous rejections of his (in his opinion) well-argued propositions. In all honesty, I considered fanny packs a terrible accessory, but tonight it suited the occasion. It was more comfortable than a purse or a backpack, and surprisingly, it could fit more items than I had previously assumed. “You've also got a new phone case? It's awesome! Why didn't you get one for me, too?” He added in a whiny tone after inspecting my latest let's summon demons phone case.
“I'd say my fanny pack is going to be a Mystery Mousketool, but then I realized you know what the item is, and you don't know what it's going to be used for,” I started rumbling, and Jungkook looked at me in visible confusion. Perhaps, he had one drink too many to comprehend my twisted presentation. “All I'm saying now, it may come in handy if the second phase of my amazing plan goes a little bit off track,” I continued vaguely. Best friends or not, I couldn't straightforwardly confess that it would be easier for me to run for my life if the police would start chasing us for trespassing a haunted property.
“Whatever's going on your mind, I don't like it,” Jungkook muttered as my previous account must've triggered his spider-sense. “What are you plotting?”
“It's nothing, really,” I tried to dismiss the topic, but Jungkook wasn't having any of that; he wanted to know everything about my secret plan, and he wouldn't stop glaring at me until I'd tell him all the details. With this man, keeping a secret wasn't a possibility.
“Tell me, or else I'm not going anywhere,” Jungkook threatened, and Halloween or not, I knew he wasn't joking. For him, gaming all night was just as entertaining as attending a party; therefore, he didn't have any trouble choosing either one of them. At this point, the only thing I could do was to advertise my plan, making it irresistible. “I was planning on streaming this one game this week, and I might as well start doing it today,” Jungkook carried on with his nerdy shenanigans, letting me know it was my cue to change the subject, snowing him under a handful of promises of an adventurous unforgettable night.
“I've done a research about a haunted house which is like one village away from Jiwoo's parents' house, and it would be awesome if we went there for a quick ghost hunt before the party. You can even bring all your cameras and shoot a Halloween special for your YouTube channel or whatever. Your subscribers would love it, and besides, what could possibly go wrong?” I blurted out on one breath, hoping my sincerity was enough to convince him. “Pretty please?”
***
The bus to the village was about to leave at 17:06, and we had only ten minutes left to double-check our inventory: two go pro cameras, two old-fashioned flashlights, a legitimate spirit box (which Jungkook had been gifted two months ago on his birthday), an ouija board (which he gave me for my early birthday), and a spare bottle of booze if we sobered up before arriving at the location.
Due to traffic, our bus arrived a few minutes late, but we were in a great mood, so we didn’t mind it that much. If anything, we were even more excited, because it would be already getting dark upon our arrival.
“So tell me something about your research,” Jungkook started, as we found a couple of empty seats in the back row of the bus – finally we were the cool kids.
“OK, so check this out,” I started, sitting comfortably in my window seat, rubbing my hands together in ardor. “No one really knows how many ghosts haunt this place, yet according to previous owners’ accounts there are at least three ghosts roaming all around the house, and I have my theory about their identities,” I said with a mischievous smirk upon my face, waiting for Jungkook to compliment my well-done research.
“What’s your theory?” He inquired, already intrigued by the house’s story.
Even it was only my thesis.
“Finally, let’s go over some theories,” I said, quoting my favorite YouTube channel.
Whispering, I told him everything I had managed to dig out, successfully keeping Jungkook on the edge of his seat for the entire ride.
It was a mystery how many ghosts actually haunt this location, but according to the witnesses’ testimonies, old newspaper articles, and land registers, I was sure about three names. All of the three men were once residents, and all of them died tragically within the sinister four walls.
The unholy trinity of Kims – that’s the name of my theory.
The house was built in 1913 on an old rye field. It was a very amicable side of the village, and no one had expected the house could bring so much evil.
The first tenants moved in 1915, and though neither of them died, they reported they had witnessed strange happenings within the premises, beginning with the dog barking in the middle of the night at the darkness, ending with them hearing screeching sounds from under the walls.
One night, they stirred awake with their skin covered in scratches, and their dog breathing heavily, slowly bleeding to death. Needless to say, they moved out before the dawn, leaving all of their belongings behind.
While the majority of the locals believed it was witches’ revenge since the coven had been denied the premises, some of whom thought the family was mentally-ill and violent.
The house remained empty way until 1973 when Kim Seokjin moved in. Back in the time, he was a singer, slowly gaining popularity. Having signed the contract with an entertainment label, he bought a house as his own getaway when he needed a break from his demanding fans.
He would reside in the house a few times a year, only when he was desperate for a few moments of solitude. In late October 1974, he went for a short hiatus. Late evening, when he was relaxing with a glass of scotch, someone knocked on his doors, asking for someone – almost like in The Strangers.
Seokjin suspected the stranger was just a very sneaky fan and locked the person outside. The sole purpose of buying the property so far away from the city was precisely omitting situations like this.
Unfortunately for him, it was not a fan.
Later that night, a dozen of Satanists broke into Seokjin’s house, tied him up, and carried him straight to the basement where they performed a grim ritual. According to the police report released to the press, he was discovered lying on his back in the middle of a bloody pentagram, his intestines gutted out, his tongue cut out found in a golden goblet, and two paper knives sticking out of his eyeballs.
It is told that his ghost roams around the basement, leaving a bloody trace after him. Moreover, a young journalist, back in 1981, while doing research about satanic rituals, claims she had seen his ghost, resting in a rocking chair down in the basement, sipping a glass of alcohol. She even swore she could smell a mixture of whisky and blood in the air.
Unfortunately, she didn’t gather any evidence, later being called a lunatic by the disbelieving society.
The house waited for its new residents for twenty years – in August 1994, a newly wedded couple moved in right after their honeymoon. Kim Namjoon was a poet, teaching European literature on the university, while his wife, Kim Joori, was a sweet librarian.
At first, they didn’t notice anything strange. No weird noises, no unexpected guests, no cold spots, no nothing. Everything was peaceful until they decided to conduct a major renovation – it was then when the hell unleashed.
In 1996 they decided to start trying for a baby, and though they both fancied the old dĂ©cor of the house, it was evident it wasn’t a safe space for a child. While they were thrilled to upgrade the property, providing their newborn with safety, the entities which lived inside were not.
Joori was the one who started experiencing supernatural happenings; she only worked three times a week, and the majority of her time, she spent alone at home. During these late hours, she thought her mind was playing tricks on her. At first, she justified it with stress and a shitload of work regarding the renovation, but then, the occurrences she had witnessed couldn’t be explained with logic.
Joori wanted to sell the property and move out, yet Namjoon would always dismiss her pleas. It wasn’t until November 1996 when Joori, who was already three months pregnant, and Namjoon had a big fight. She gave him an ultimatum, and when Namjoon chose the house over her, she moved out.
A few collective nights after Joori’s departure, Namjoon would sit by the newly rebuilt fireplace and drink into oblivion. It was the first time he noticed peculiar activity in the house, yet he blamed the alcohol for it.
Slowly, day after day, Namjoon would lose his mind. It started off with strange whispers. The voice in his head, or so he thought, begged him to call Joori and bring her back, yet his pride would always stop after pressing the 6th digit of her parents’ landline.
Then it was tugs; from time to time, Namjoon would feel his shirt being tugged. It was challenging to explain with logic, but he opted for blaming the trauma for making him delusional. Namjoon would rather believe his brain was slowly frying itself than accept the supernatural entities.
At some point, he also started hearing distant giggles within the house and seeing shadows passing between walls, but the last straw that broke the camel’s neck was definitely his book of poems flying across the room, landing in the middle of the carpet, and then shredding into pieces right in front of his eyes. While a lot of events could be blamed on the strong drafts of wind or poor timely construction of the house, some things he witnessed were unexplainable.
Shortly after the incident, the entity residing in the house became violent – it wanted Namjoon away, and since he wasn’t going to leave like his wife, there was another way of getting rid of him.
Namjoon wanted to leave the house, reach out to Joori and start anew with her and their baby.
However, he never did.
On a Christmas morning, Joori paid him a visit and the things she witnessed traumatized her for life.
Namjoon’s suitcase was neatly packed, waiting by the doors to be picked up. The house was spotless, except for Namjoon’s study.
Walls were painted red with blood, Namjoon’s body dismembered – pieces of his body parts scattered all over the floor. Only his head was in scarless, resting on top of his desk, right next to his ripped poetry book.
No signs of forced entry, no motive, no evidence.
The police obviously closed the case, but Joori never felt at peace, still believing it was the entity that killed her husband.
And now, finally, the third Kim.
Kim Taehyung.
Not that long time ago, in 2007, the land was purchased by happy-go-lucky Kim Taehyung. At that time, Taehyung was only 19. He bought the house with his inheritance. Ever since little, he was very family-orientated, and when he had a chance to purchase a property, he didn’t hesitate.
Just like former residents, Taehyung didn’t sense anything odd; the omnipresent feeling of darkness came with time. However, even then, Taehyung would dismiss all the strange occurrences happening inside the house.
He had never been one to get scared easily, so a round of floor creaking or cold spots didn’t really impress him.
On the 17th of April, his girlfriend, Chanmi, slept over for the first time, and it was chilling.
According to her testimony, after their steamy sex session, she felt as if being watched. Later on that night, when they were sleeping, cuddling under the sheets, she heard distinctive steps downstairs.
Frightened, suspecting it was a burglar, she shook Taehyung awake, yet the moment he opened his eyes, the noise stopped. Complete undisturbed silence. To Taehyung, Chanmi seemed paranoid (and not accustomed to new surroundings), but he loved her dearly and checked the house, calming her.
Although Taehyung didn’t find anything, Chanmi already knew she didn’t feel welcomed – ever since that night, she made sure they would hang out at her place. Whatever it was that she sensed – it was pure evil.
On the 23rd of June, they had a big fight, and when Chanmi came over the next day to makeup, Taehyung was already gone.
His body was discovered in the bathroom on the second floor – he was lying in the bathtub, sharp pieces of mirror protruding from his wounded body.
Chanmi screamed and fell onto her knees.
But it wasn’t the worst thing about that day – the moment she started sobbing, Taehyung’s head tilted to the side, looked at her with his dead eyes, and in a throaty voice, he growled her name.
In a matter of seconds, Chanmi got back on her feet and bolted out of the house, swearing to herself that she’d never ever return there.
Though the police suspected a murder, deep down, Chanmi knew it was the evil’s doing. She never bothered mentioning that in her official statement, knowing the cops wouldn’t believe her.
Ever since Taehyung’s tragic death, the residence belongs to the city. Despite multiple proposals, it has never been sold.
And now, it’s our cue to investigate these haunted premises.
“You’re shitting me right now, aren’t you?” Jungkook asked me, probably both crept out and impressed. My research was thorough and off-putting at once, and I was sure it partially discouraged him from participating in the exploration.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve read that shit about the house, and you still wanna go there? What’s wrong with you? Only a psychopath can enjoy doing shit like that,” Jungkook argued, and I couldn’t find an answer right away.
I loved horror films and scary stories, mostly because I loved discrediting them and finding flaws in the storylines, and right now, I was about to do the same, but my subject was a real thing.
I didn’t have huge expectations – it was more than probable that we wouldn’t find anything, yet at the same time, it would be pretty dope to witness something strange. Jungkook shouldn’t be that worried – in the worst (best) scenario, we would get spooked by another team of amateur ghost hunters.
“Come on, Kook, grow a pair,” I started, trying to take our conversation on a less pressing level. It was just a silly ghost hunting gig, yet Jungkook sounded serious, almost as if we were going through the pros and cons of keeping a baby. “Ghost ain’t real; the scariest thing inside that house it probably bats,” I reasoned, and Jungkook agreed with a sigh.
“I guess you’re right,” Jungkook said, finally manning up for the mission. “Let’s get this shit over with,” he added when the vehicle stopped at our bus stop.
***
“So
 what do you think?” I inquired when the murder house was within our eyesight; the building was spacious, and it really stood out amongst the other residences – no one could miss it. From quite a distance, you could see there was something evil about it, even the fence around the property was installed upside down, supposedly to lock the supernatural entities inside.
“It doesn’t look very welcoming if you ask me,” Jungkook started, scratching the back of his head, probably trying to come up with a good excuse to call it a day and just head over to Jiwoo’s party. “Just by the look of it, I can tell there’s something wrong about it,” he added, and I hummed in agreement.
“Are your spider-senses tingling again?” I asked, and Jungkook elbowed me lightly, not enjoying my teasing. “But for real now. Should we take a few selfies before going in?” I proposed, and Jungkook eagerly agreed, as if prolonging the inevitable reconnaissance.
Carefully, Jungkook wrapped his arm around my frame and snapped a few pictures with his phone, making sure the haunted house was standing proudly in the background. Then, he took another series of photos with my camera.
“If we’re seriously going in there, I think I need an intro for my Halloween special video, don’t you think?” Jungkook announced, pulling out his go-pro camera. After giving me a quick instruction, we started rolling.
At first, he reported what we were doing, but then, he started talking about the new segment of his channel, and my brain just froze. Although I respected his passion for gaming, I completely lost focus whenever he started blabbering about it. But honestly, I thought it was healthy for our friendship. We had a lot of things in common, yet it was a blessing to be different at some point. Whenever one of us felt a bit overwhelmed, we could engage in independent activities. For Jungkook, it was gaming – I’d never try crashing his nerdy party.
“I think we got it,” I announced when Jungkook’s mouth stopped barfing gaming jargon. “Let’s go inside.”
“Fine, but keep it in mind that if I die, I’m going to haunt your ass,” Jungkook stated, and I laughed. Right
 as if this cinnamon roll could ever haunt anything.
“Puh-lease,” I retorted, trying to refrain myself from giggling. “If anything bad happened to you, you would be Kookie – the friendly ghost,” I finished, and Jungkook whined quietly, not fancying my opinion.
“Shut up,” Jungkook barked, pulling out the second fancy camera. If he were to step into that hellhole, he would gear himself up from head to toe, getting ready to catch the ghost on tape. “Let’s go in before I change my mind,” he added, as he effortlessly jumped over the fence.
“Will you help me? Not everyone has legs for days,” I mumbled as I extended my arms, so Jungkook could support me when I made my way through the first obstacle. “Thanks,” I quickly said when Jungkook grabbed me, and carefully put me on the ground.
“If it makes you feel any better, I think you’ve got a sexy pair of legs,” Jungkook complimented me, and though in other circumstances I’d blush, this time I ignored it, focusing on the vibration I felt in the butt pocket of my jeans.
The second I put my foot on the unholy soil, weird shit started happening.
Interesting.
My first thought was that I got a text message on my phone, but then it struck me that I always had my phone on silent mode. Quickly, I checked my cell phone, and it turned out that Siri turned itself on.
“What can I help you with?”
The device turned itself on again, but this time in my hand, when I didn’t push any buttons.
“It’s not a good sign,” Jungkook commented, and I started to second guess the brilliance behind my ingenious plan. “It’s not too late to turn around and leave. I won’t be disappointed if you chicken out,” he carried on, but I just grinned at him. There was no way I’d wimp out.
“Nice try; we’re going in,” I prompted, confidently walking toward the main entrance, Jungkook following behind me, probably shooting the surroundings.
As soon as we stepped onto the porch, the wood would start to creak underneath the pressure. Just like everything about the house, it gave off that creepy vibe.
“Showtime,” I whispered under my breath as I extended my hand and grabbed the knob. Just as expected, it was locked.
“Well
 it looks like another sign to me. Let’s go back,” Jungkook spoke, trying once again to convince me to back out.
“Get a grip; we’re going in,” I ordered, and Jungkook sighed, regretting that he couldn’t say no to me. “I’m picking the lock; Betty in Riverdale does it all the time, it can’t be that difficult,” I muttered, reaching into my new fanny pack for a bobby pin.
“Are you for real? Since when anything they do in Riverdale makes any sense to you?” Jungkook wondered, but I just rolled my eyes, ignoring his mean comments. “You’re not opening that lock,” he added, making my blood boil. In times of crisis, Jungkook wasn’t very supportive.
“Just shut up, I almost got it,” I barked, sticking my tongue out, adjusting myself to my ultimate focus form, ignoring Jungkook and his shenanigans. Not only he showed me no support, but also he pulled out the small bottle of booze and took a gulp, without proposing me some.
“Just deal with it. We won’t get inside,” Jungkook teased again, pissing me off, and then leaning in, literally breathing on my neck.
“I really hate you right now,” I yelled at him as I straightened up, dropping my bobby pin in the process. “It was my only one,” I whined, kicking in doors in frustration, and to my surprise, it swung wide open.
“Ladies first?” Jungkook murmured, smiling sheepishly, moving aside.
“How gentlemanly of you,” I tsked, turning on the flashlight before entering the building. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to edit your video, deceiving people into thinking you’re a real macho man,” I complained, inspecting the foyer.
Nothing out of the ordinary. For now.
“I’ve got chills,” I stated matter-of-factly when the silence inside the house started to bother me. Though I didn’t believe in ghosts, for some stupid reasons, my heart rate quickened. I felt uneasy, and when I heard my voice echo across the room, I felt less crept out. “Which room should we check out first?”
“When I listened to you on the bus, all of them sounded awful,” Jungkook honestly answered while shedding some light around the living room. “If got rid of all the dust, it’d look pretty comfy,” he added, and I snorted, not expecting him to give me such a nonchalant comment.
Unfortunately, it seemed I was the jittery one.
Well
 fuck.
“How about we check out Ouija board in Namjoon’s study,” I proposed, and Jungkook hummed in agreement.
“Maybe there’s still some blood left. You said it was pretty messy,” Jungkook added in excitement, making me wonder how the hell he did a 180 so fast. Not even two minutes ago, he acted like an adorable sacredly cat, but right now, he seemed confident enough to roundhouse kick all the demons back to hell.
“I doubt so, but it’s worth checking,” I answered, and we both headed to the east wing of the house, navigating toward Namjoon’s office. “It may sound ridiculous, but I’m getting horny,” I confessed, and Jungkook stopped in his tracks, gawking at me, not expecting such revelation.
“I knew you wouldn’t resist my manly charms,” Jungkook murmured cockily, wiggling his eyebrow suggestively. “I knew you would fall for me eventually.”
“Right
 I’d rather believe a sex demon just possessed me,” I retorted, and for some reason, Jungkook didn’t find it funny. Come on, it was hilarious! “OK, I guess you’re kinda hot right now,” I gave in, unwillingly stroking his ego.
Not my fault, he was just irresistible.
“I knew it,” Jungkook cheered right before when we finally found the right room. This was it – the first space to be “properly” investigated.
Putting the flashlights on the desk, we set the Ouija board on the floor, sitting across from each other.
“Do you know how to use it?” Jungkook inquired, and I smiled sheepishly, telling him I knew bits and pieces, though I had absolutely no idea if my knowledge was legit since it all was based on multiple horror films I had seen. “I’ll check it online,” he proposed and pulled out his phone, quickly typing his inquiry into Google’s search tab. “Whoa, the signal here is no joke; I have a better connection than I have at my apartment. How expensive is this house again?”
“You’re really dumb, you know
”
“You love me regardless, so I don’t really care,” Jungkook absentmindedly replied while browsing through the answers. “OK, it’s easy.”
Briefly, Jungkook explained the ceremony. Apparently, the horror movies didn’t get everything wrong.
Unfortunately, the spirits inside Namjoon’s study weren’t chatty – during our session, they only edged the planchette toward the numbers 9 and 4 (the date of Namjoon’s settlement), yet I didn’t put much thought to it. Jungkook was probably moving it to scare me, and I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction.
“You know what? It’s not as exciting as I thought it would,” I started when we were collecting our stuff, getting ready to explore another room. For the majority of the time, nothing was happening. We were sitting just sitting in darkness, waiting for something to give us a real spook.
Later, we headed towards the second floor. The stairs were creaking as we made our way up, but we didn’t pay much attention to it, being too focused on locating the bathroom to actually think about basic safety.
The bathroom looked terrifying; the tiles inside were dirty, the original color already fading. The facilities were covered in rust and probably making a lot of unnecessary noises.
“Give me your flashlight,” Jungkook ordered as he put both torches on the edge of the bathtub, one of which switched on. “If there’s something that wants to communicate with us, turn the right one on, and turn off the left one,” Jungkook spoke loudly, waiting for the lights to change, and after some time one did.
“It was definitely a ghost,” I exclaimed in fake dread, bursting out laughing a second later. “It’s solid evidence; it’s confirmed – ghosts are real,” I added, and Jungkook joined me, chuckling adorably. “You can’t change my mind.”
“If it’s you, Taehyung, tell us what happened to you,” Jungkook carried on, and I grew silent, waiting for the ghost to reach out to us. “We don’t want to hurt you; we just want to know the truth. Who killed you?”
Silence.
“Come on, Taehyung. We don’t have all night; we’ve got places to be,” I urged the ghost in a taunting manner, hoping for something to finally happen. With each passing second, our expedition seemed more and more disappointing, and though I didn’t believe in ghosts, I’d really liked to be proven wrong.
“You’re weak sauce, Taehyung!” Jungkook mocked, reaching for the flashlights, wanting to explore another active part of the house – the basement. “You had your chance, Taehyung, and you blew it.”
We quickly left the bathroom and headed to the basement, yet just before we entered the room, I hesitated.
“Maybe we should investigate the basement individually,” I proposed, and Jungkook bit the inner side of his cheek, pondering over my suggestion.
“Fine, let’s do this,” Jungkook agreed with a sigh. “Do you want me to go first?”
“Whatever.” I shrugged, and Jungkook pulled out the spirit box, a little bit excited to use it for the first time. “Go get ’em, tiger.” I patted Jungkook on the back, and closed the doors behind him. “You’ve got ten minutes.”
The stairs creaked when Jungkook was walking down. For a while, it was oddly silent, but then I heard the loud white noise, and I knew Jungkook finally turned the device on.
While he was down there, I roamed around the ground floor, taking a few extra selfies. Unfortunately, regardless of the flashlight, it was still dark as fuck, and I was sure none of the taken photos were Instagram-worthy.
Ten minutes passed, yet Jungkook still didn’t get out.
“You can come out now,” I shouted, but I got no reply from Jungkook.
This fucker was messing with me. I knew him too well not to understand what he was trying to do. However, I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. He wanted to scare me shitless, but he would never succeed.
Confidently, I swung the doors open and made my way downstairs.
“Have you found anything?” I asked when I noticed Jungkook standing in the corner of the room, facing the walls.
“Nope, it was boring as fuck.”
“OK, it’s my turn. Give me the spirit box,” I spoke eagerly, waiting for Jungkook to give me the gear. He survived the individual session with ghosts, so there was nothing to be afraid of. If ghouls didn’t eat Jungkook’s cute butt, I doubted they would be after mine.
“Good luck,” Jungkook murmured and leaned in, pressing a delicate kiss against my forehead before running upstairs.
OK. What the fuck?
With a slam, I was left alone in the basement, and frankly, right now, I didn’t give two shits about ghosts. What the fuck was that? Jungkook and I never showed any affection for one another. The most intimate interaction we had ever had was elbowing each other.
We didn’t kiss.
Never.
Not even an indirect kiss.
All the wires in my brain were frying. A whole army of ghosts might’ve jumped out of nowhere, and I wouldn’t give two shits about them. What the hell was Jungkook’s deal? Why did he do that?
Regardless of how much I desired to find evidence on ghosts, right now, my mind wasn’t in the right place. Thoughts of Jungkook, of how much I tried to not act on my attraction toward him, how I wanted him to make a move – they completely took over my sanity.
A full-body apparition might’ve as well started reciting Great Gatsby, and I wouldn’t notice it probably.
Trying to leave that horrifying train of thoughts, I shook my head. I needed to get a grip. Tonight was about ghosts, not about Jungkook.
Promptly, I turned on the spirit box, starling at how loud it roared to life.
Except for one beam of light coming out of my flashlight, it was entirely dark, and the white noise emitted by the device made the scene even more terrifying. I would undoubtedly faint if I didn’t like this dreadful atmosphere.
“Is anyone here?” I asked and looked around – everything seemed ordinary. Well
 as ordinary as an abandoned house’s basement could be.
[UNINTELLIGIBLE]
“What the fuck was that?” I jerked my head to the side, staring at the device in my hand. It sounded like a male voice, yet I couldn’t quite comprehend the words. “Can you repeat that? You have to speak more clearly,” I spoke, refraining from face-palming myself.
What the hell was I thinking, talking to ghosts?
I must’ve really lost my mind.
“Behind.”
Once again, I jerked my head, furrowing my eyebrows. It really sounded like the word behind, so obviously, I turned around, checking if there’s something, in fact, behind me.
There wasn’t.
“I have to hear more than just one word,” I declared, focusing on the noise, ready to pick up another message. For a long while, the white noise was ringing in my ears, but then I heard something which sounded like my name.
[UNINTELLIGIBLE]
Jungkook’s gonna love my footage, I wondered upon hearing these strange noises. Maybe it is not groundbreaking evidence, but it surely will be thrilling to watch. Jungkook’s followers will love the new content.
“You find me.”
“Oh my God, this is awesome,” I cheered enthusiastically, and though I was having the time of my life, it was time to take the fun to the next level. “Who am I talking to? What’s your name?”
“Kim.”
“That was an instant answer,” I commented, feeling goosebumps on my skin.
Much to my dismay, it was the last coherent response I got; I sat there alone in the darkness and received only a few unintelligible reads. So much for ghost hunting
 I thought, ready to leave the basement.
Checking the time on my phone, I realized I had two more minutes, and though it was pointless to reach out to ghosts at this point, I decided to record my useless commentary. Maybe Jungkook would use my witty monologue as a part of his YouTube clip, or if not, he’d have a good laugh when analyzing all the footage from this night.
“So
 I’ve been sitting in the darkness for a while, and no ghost dared to give me a spook. It’s such a disappointment, really. These ghosts here are real wimps; I lured Jungkook inside this basement, and this may come as a big shocker to everyone, but nothing really happened to him –“
[BANG!]
Quickly, I turned my head around, trying to locate the source of the strange noise; it sounded as if it was coming from under the stairs, yet I quickly dismissed the disturbance – it must’ve been a rat or something.
Clearly, it wasn’t a ghost.
“As I was saying
 this house is a complete bummer. When we first arrived, the house looked really nerve-racking, but when we actually started exploring it, it let us down. Honestly, the scariest part of this expedition probably was when Jungkook failed to prank me.”
“Your time is up,” having opened the doors, Jungkook hollered. “I’m going down there,” he added, and I turned around, giving Jungkook a chance to record my grand exit on tape.
“I’m getting outta here, ghosts. You are a bunch of wimps!”
“Did you just seriously mock the ghosts?” Jungkook asked, giggling adorably.
“Why not? It’s not like they’re going to kill me for calling them out.”
“Should we leave now? I’d stay for a little longer and recorded some weird random shit. What do you think?”
“It’s definitely gonna piss these ghosts, so I am in.”
At first, Jungkook insisted I record him dance a few Fortnite choreographies, and though I had no clue what he was doing, I kept the camera rolling. Then, I turned music on my phone, and we jammed to old K-POP hits like Super Junior’s Bonamana, SHINEE’s Lucifer, f(x)’s Electric Shock, and many others.
Then Jungkook made me record his beatbox performance, and it was torture. However, there was a silver lining – it helped me determine whether ghosts were real or not. The answer was no – no one would endure it.
And if it wasn’t for my crush on him, I’d definitely not endure it either.
Later that evening, Jungkook gave a short instruction video on how to defend oneself with basic taekwondo moves, and then we thumb-wrestled.
“You know what would really piss the ghosts off?” Jungkook inquired, and I wondered what else his one brain cell came up with since I highly doubted if it could get any dumber than it already had.
“I don’t know
 what else would really piss the ghosts off?” I answered, having no idea what we could do to outdo ourselves. Everything that we had done for the past hour was already offensive as fuck.
“Isn’t it absolutely the worst when you’re in a public place, minding your business when you walk past a couple making out right in front of you?”
“It is absolutely the worst, but how is it any relevant?” I asked, cocking my eyebrow in confusion. Jungkook was right, making out openly in public was rude, and obnoxious, and one of my biggest pet peeves, yet I highly doubted the ghosts had the same hierarchy of irritating situations. They’re dead, and they can haunt people without any consequences – that’s pretty dope itself, and I just couldn’t understand why it would be their top bĂȘte noire.
“Well
 it’s not completely irrelevant, and besides, ever since you’ve mentioned you’re horny, I really wanted to kiss you,” Jungkook confessed, and my jaw dropped at the revelation. Jungkook wanted to do what!?
“Well
 you just played yourself,” I stated, and Jungkook creased his forehead in confusion. “Is that a confession you’ve just recorded? I bet you want to record our kiss, too. That’s kinky, and weirdly enough, it turns me on a little bit,” I finished my thought, and then Jungkook smiled widely at me, figuratively lighting up the rundown basement which we were still in.
“Well
 now you just really have to kiss me,” Jungkook retorted, and I smiled mischievously, curious of how he’s going to play his cards now, “unless you want me to show your parents a video of you confessing to your kinks.”
“Well
 you should’ve waited a little bit longer, maybe I would’ve named all the other kinks I’m into,” I challenged, biting my bottom lip seductively. “If you really want our first kiss to be in this shabby, totally not haunted basement, then go for it,” I consented, waiting for him to approach me and knock the air out of my lungs with a world-shattering kiss.
“It’s not perfect, it’s not exactly what you deserve, but it will be a hell of a story to tell our grandchildren one day. Don’t you think?”
“I think you’re getting a little bit ahead of yourself,” I retorted, chuckling. Jungkook was acting ridiculous, and it was adorable. With his cute smile and firm butt, he could get away with anything. “Just kiss me, you idiot.”
At first, I expected him to say something cringe-worthy like m’lady or alrighty, but thankfully, I was wrong. With one long stride, Jungkook approached me, resting his large hand on my hips before leaning in to kiss me.
The kiss was sensual and soft, and the way I had always imagined. Gently, Jungkook pressed his plump lips against mine, and we just moved, basking in pleasure. His hand was roaming over my back and butt, whereas mine was going through his silky hair, tousling it.
Gradually, it grew in passion. Jungkook pulled me closer against him, and I opened my mouth, inviting his tongue. Though it was only one kiss, it was quickly making me thirsty for more.
It felt blissful, yet it came to an abrupt stop when we heard a loud bang upstairs.
“Well
 you were right, it obviously pissed someone off,” I whispered, chuckling.
“What do you think it was?” Jungkook asked, concerned about the strange noise. “It sounded as if someone just slammed the doors shut,” Jungkook stated, and I quickly agreed with him.
“But we left the doors closed, didn’t we?” I wondered, trying to remember our previous actions. Neither one of us was perfectly sober, yet I was pretty sure we did close the doors. “OMG, this is awesome! It was probably another group of adrenaline-seeking people! We could give them the spook of their life if we jumped out of the basement,” I explained, and I was sure I wasn’t perfectly sober right now either.
“It was probably the wind, but okay, let’s do this,” although knowing it was a stupid idea, Jungkook agreed to conduct my improvised prank.
Carefully, we made our way upstairs, yet when we jumped out of our hideaway, there was nobody there.
“Stupid wind,” I murmured under my breath, really bummed out by this whole situation. “Fuck you, you stupid house. You’ve wasted our time,” I hollered at nothing in particular as I approached the doors and pulled the knob. “Jungkook, it won’t open,” I announced, taking a step to the side, letting Jungkook’s strength to let us out.
Seriously, what kind of an estate agent would try to sell this house without repairing it first? At this point, only people from these HGTV shows would consider buying it, so they could later sell it with real profit.
At first, the doors didn’t want to budge either, but then he handed me his camera and roundhouse-kicked the doors open.
Whoever locked the doors, be it the wind, the ghost, or anyone else, Jungkook’s thick thighs were more powerful.
“Let’s get out of here,” Jungkook said as he grabbed my hand and led me outside, leaving the creepy though definitely not haunted house behind us.
***
Although the navigation system on my phone estimated our route to take us forty-five minutes on foot, Jungkook and I made that distance under half an hour. The house was creepy, but we were already late for Jiwoo’s party, and we didn’t want to face her wrath.
She had called me three times, and Jungkook and I lived in a universe where three missed calls from Jiwoo were more terrifying than fifty from mom.
When we reached Jiwoo’s house, we tried knocking on the doors, but unfortunately for us, everybody was already in a good mood. They couldn’t hear the knocks due to loud music, and I couldn’t be angry – it was our punishment for arriving so late.
Thankfully, when we walked the house around, the patio doors were open, so we got inside.
The house was packed with people, yet I was familiar with only a few of them – the majority of guests were Jiwoo’s college friends, and I haven’t yet acquainted them. In the kitchen, I saw Mario and Luigi, and I instantly knew it was Yoongi and Hoseok. Each year they have adorable couple costumes.
“Look who’s finally showed up,” I heard a loud voice from over the stairs, leading to the second floor. It was Daphne, closely followed by Fred.
“I guess Daphne and Fred just checked the bedroom,” I told Jungkook, and he chuckled, getting the reference. “I hope they didn’t find any ghosts.”
“I bet Scooby and Shaggy are already eaten by the ghost in the basement,” Jungkook carried on, and we both started to laugh.
“Your costumes are in my bedroom, but before you change, I have to feed us some jello shots,” Jiwoo started, making us follow her to the kitchen. “In which bushes were you two fucking, so you came so late?” She questioned, but Jungkook and I didn’t know how to reply. Jiwoo was unpredictable – she would either scold us for going to that house without her, or just shout at us for being reckless and irresponsible, but I guess it was her role in our friend circle.
She was the mom friend.
“We weren’t fucking,” I protested quickly, trying to buy us some time to get a better excuse for our late arrival. “If we were indeed fucking, we would be here before anyone else,” I joked, yet Jungkook didn’t find it particularly funny.
It didn’t worry me, though. Jungkook and I dissed each other daily, he wasn’t going to pout. If anything, he was plotting how to get his revenge.
“Well
 true,” Jiwoo replied as she high-fived me. “Don’t worry, Kookie. I’m just messing with you,” she added, and I nodded, knowing she was extra mean to impress Jimin. Retorts weren’t her strongest suit, but so far, it was okay.
Jiwoo distributed the jello shots among the four of us, and to my surprise, they weren’t as strong as I had expected them to be. She had made them, and it came to me as a shock, then the proportions weren’t fifty-fifty.
“Oh my God, I just noticed you both have matching costumes. What a coincidence!” Jungkook hollered, faking his surprise, taking  revenge on Jiwoo.
“What can I say? Great minds think alike,” Jiwoo quickly retorted before Jungkook managed to embarrass her in front of her crush.
“Some things are just meant to be,” Jimin added, draping his arm over Jiwoo’s shoulder, making me and Jungkook gag. What the hell had we missed?!
We had totally wasted our time in that haunted house – we could have been here, watching their relationship develop in front of our eyes! Though I had no regrets after reaming around that disappointing trip to that house, now I had one regret. I was genuinely upset that I missed witnessing how the line between their friendship and love faded away.
“OK, you know what? Go upstairs and change. You disgust me without your costumes on,” Jiwoo ordered, shooing us upstairs.
Obediently, we headed to her bedroom, finding our costumes on her bed.
“I’m so tired,” I announced as I plopped down onto her bed, wanting to get some rest. The march from one location to another was more exhausting than I had initially thought, and my legs were killing me.
“Well
 it’s all your fault, I told to we should call an Uber,” Jungkook replied, lying on the bed next to me. “No slacking,” Jungkook hollered, playfully slapping my butt. “If we don’t get downstairs in a few minutes, Jiwoo’s gonna bust in here and complain how we ruin her party.”
“True,” I agreed, and with a loud groan, I stood up to get changed. “And that reminds me. You’ve never told me what you’re dressing as this year,” I spoke, wondering what was inside the bag which was sitting next to my costume.
“I didn’t have time to come up with anything, so I asked Jimin to lend me his costume from last year. He was Jack Sparrow or something,” he explained, and I watched him unpacking the bag.
“Or something it is,” I started when I saw what his costume consisted of. It was basically a deep-cut white shirt, a pair of tight leather trousers, and a hat. “Good luck with fitting into it,” I snickered, wondering how uncomfortable it’s going to look like on his powerful thighs.
“Why don’t you shut up,” Jungkook said, not pleased with my commentary.
In silence, we got dressed, and since my costume wasn’t revealing, I could quickly put it on my clothes, which gave me plenty of time to gawk at Jungkook.
“I feel like a piece of meat, right now,” Jungkook commented, as he caught me staring at him, zipping his trousers. “Can you stop staring at me like that? I’m a person with feelings, not a sex toy.”
“Now you know how all girls in clubs feel,” I retorted and continued to stare at him shamelessly. Right now, I only needed a bucket of popcorn and a few bills which I could put under the hem of his pants.
“Aren’t you going to put that creepy make-up?”
“I was going to, but I don’t have energy nor patience to do that,” I answered lazily, watching him button his shirt. “Besides, I checked myself in the mirror, and I’m rocking that Mary-Eunice look right now,” I added, and Jungkook agreed, approving my American Horror Story costume.
“You know what? Even when you wear that ridiculous nun costume, I would still fuck you,” Jungkook blatantly confessed, and I giggled, not knowing how to react to this odd compliment. “I really must be wrapped around your little finger. You even made me go to that abandoned house.”
“You make me blush,” I admitted shyly before approaching him. Then, standing on my toes, I pecked his lips innocently. “We better go downstairs, Jiwoo must be furious at us for taking so long,” I added, exiting the room, leaving Jungkook speechless behind me.
Though at first, we were too tired to party hard, Jimin and Jiwoo engaged us in a few drinking games, and I was thankful I managed to bullshit myself out of playing truth and dare with them.
I realized what Jiwoo would make me do or confess, and I’d rather Jungkook find it out in different, more private, circumstances.
Around three a.m., people slowly started to get tired, one by one heading upstairs to either fuck each other’s brains out or simply find an empty bed to sleep in. At that time, Jungkook and I were chilling in the kitchen, munching on the food which other guests had the courtesy of leaving.
“We should go on a date on Saturday,” Jungkook proposed, and I looked him in the eyes, nodding my head. “What do you want to do on our first date?” He asked, leaning against the countertop next to me.
“Is there any chance you’re wearing this outfit on our first date?” I asked, and Jungkook quickly shook his head. I teased him all night about this outfit, and by now, he must’ve dreamed about taking it off at least a dozen times. Best case scenario: taking it off right in front of already naked me.
“Nope, stare at me while you still can,” Jungkook said, and I didn’t dare to question his decision. Though he looked like a snack, I respected his choice. He wasn’t going to wear it again, and I wasn’t going to force him. Besides, I was kind of curious about how he looked naked. “So
 what do you want to do on Saturday? Bowling? A candlelight supper? Cinema?”
“I was gonna say that anything is fine as long as it’s with you, but would you really prepare a candlelight supper for me?” I questioned, quite amazed by his proposition. Jungkook rarely cooked himself, and even if he happened to whip something up in the kitchen, it would be ramen or something just as easy to make.
“Of course, anything,” Jungkook promised, and I tried my very best right not to kiss him. “It probably won’t be any tasty, but at least, I made it with my hands.”
Oh, screw it.
Instantly, I pulled him closer, smashing my lips against his. The moment he realized what I was doing, he reciprocated the kiss.
“I don’t really care,” I spoke, wrapping my legs around his hips. “Oh, shit,” I cursed upon noticing Jiwoo and pushed Jungkook away.
“I think everybody’s asleep already, what are you guys still doing here?” She asked, eyeing the both of us.
“Nothing, we were just eating,” I stated, though Jiwoo didn’t fully believe in my innocent reply. “What have you been up to? Your green scarf is gone, and you have a hickey on your neck. Have you had fun with Jimin?” I inquired, and she looked away in embarrassment.
Jiwoo had never been to shy away, but she didn’t act like herself around Jimin. When with him, she became a better person, and right now, she was blushing. It was the first time when I saw her behaving like that, and I liked it.
With Jimin by her side, Jiwoo was slowly turning in the best version of herself, and the transition was crystal clear. Even Jungkook wouldn’t miss it.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow; right now, I just want to clean up and go to bed,” Jiwoo said, and I knew it was our cue to live. I didn’t like cleaning, and I knew Jiwoo wouldn’t appreciate my help. She would prefer Jimin’s assistance. “You’re sleeping in the guest room with Yoongi and Hoseok.”
“Thanks,” I replied, and we slowly headed to the guest room, knowing that Jimin would shortly join Jiwoo. They thought they were subtle, but they really weren’t. One look was enough, and Jungkook and I knew everything.
“I hope Yoongi and Hoseok already fucked each other,” Jungkook stated before we entered our room, and I agreed. I wouldn’t like to walk on them fucking. I just wanted to lie down and get some sleep.
***
On Friday, I focused only on myself. I needed to recover fully after a long night of drinking, but also, I wanted to pamper myself a little bit before my date with Jungkook. I was sure he was going to prepare everything to perfection, like the golden boy he has always been, and it only made sense that his girlfriend (me) also ought to be perfect.
I took a long, relaxing bath, I wore a face mask, I ate plenty of fruit, I planned my next week of college, I even turned on the relatively new drama with Ji Changwook, and whipped up a mug of cocoa with marshmallows.
The day was peaceful, and I cherished every second of it before I had to face reality and go to classes on Monday.
In the evening, I even chatted with Jiwoo, listening to a few newest rumors. I didn’t expect her to have any time to spare, but apparently, to her, gossip was more important than her new boyfriend. Good thing she had her priorities set straight.
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | omg you won’t believe it!
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | I know why Seulgi and Irene didn’t come
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | apparently
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | they were on a date yesterday!
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:22 | Chanyeol told Jimin that Jongin were their Uber driver and he took them to a fancy restaurant
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:22 | I was gonna get really mad
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:23 | but I ship them so hard
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:23 | I mean

That crazy Capricorn girl |17:23 | fucking finally
Jiwoo wasn’t ashamed of double texting, obviously. If she had gossip to deliver, she would spam anyone until she would get a reply, and frankly, it never upset me. Mostly because I was texting the same way.
Me | 17:25 | told you
Me | 17:25| I knew they had hots for each other
Me | 17:26 | you should be glad they didn’t come
Me | 17:26 | they probably fucked all night long
Me | 17:27 | that would be gross if they did it at your place
Me | 17:27 | it’s enough that Jungkook and I walked on Yoongi and Hoseok
Me | 17:28 | if it was my house I’d kick them out
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:30 | they did what????
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:31 | are you kidding me???
That crazy Capricorn girl |17:31 | so Jimin lied to me
Me | 17:32 | wow
Me | 17:32 | you started dating and he’s already lying
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:33 | Jimin told me they behaved well
Me | 17:34 | pls don’t make a scene
Me | 17:35 | you better let them taste their own medicine
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:35 | I knew I shouldn’t have invited them
That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:35 | they’re cute but also horny af
With Jiwoo, when we started texting, we didn’t know how to stop. Topics would come and go, and we would always come up with something new. This night wasn’t any different. When we discussed everyone’s behavior during the party, late changing the subject to the people who couldn’t make it. Then, we would exchange messages about the newest K-POP hits, scandals, and dramas. Sometimes, we would even send memes to one another.
Usually, we would continue our conversation until one of us was tired and went to sleep, but tonight a bizarre text from Jungkook made me finish.
Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:41 | come over
Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:41 | now
Well
 rude.
We didn’t even go on our first date yet, and he treated me like a booty call.
No, it couldn’t be.
Me | 21:42 | what do you mean???
Me | 21:42 | Jeon Jungkook
Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:42 | get your juicy ass over here
Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:43 | asap
Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:43 | you need to see something
What the hell did he want? Couldn’t he wait until tomorrow to meet me? If he wanted to see me, he could just text me like he a regular person. He didn’t have to act like an asshole about it.
Me | 21:45 | fine
Me | 21:45 | I’ll be in thrity
Me | 21:46 | if it’s your dick that I need to see you’re dead
***
Within thirty minutes, I was at Jungkook’s apartment, breathing heavily. His flat was located on the fourth floor, and the elevator was out of order, and whenever I had to take the stairs, I could feel blood on my tongue.
It wouldn’t hurt me that much to tag along once in a while to the gym with Kook. Well
 hopefully.
“What’s the emergency?” I asked instantly when Jungkook swung the doors open. “Jungkook, I swear, if it’s a booty call, I’m gonna be pissed,” I warned him when Jungkook grabbed my wrist and yanked me inside.
“No, it’s nothing like that,” Jungkook reassured me as he led me to his bedroom.
Well
 he might’ve said it wasn’t a booty call, yet his actions were giving me a totally different message. He was literally dragging me to his bedroom.
“What is going on?” I asked once again, as he made me sit in his gaming chair.
“So
 I was editing the footage we recorded at this creepy house, and I found some weird shit,” he started before he leaned against the desk, looking for the right file to show me. “I watched every frame of these tapes, and there’s something seriously wrong with your individual session in the basement.”
“What do you mean by wrong? Can you be more specific? I didn’t feel nor see anything weird when I was down there,” I said, cocking my eyebrows up in utter confusion. Was there something my eye didn’t catch, but the camera did?
“Well
 there is like a shadow lingering above you,” Jungkook confessed, and I fought the urge to laugh into his face. It was a shadow, and shadows do linger. “You don’t seem convinced, so why don’t you see for yourself?”
“Ugh, fine,” I answered, focusing on the screen.
I couldn’t believe my own eyes. Jungkook was right. It lasted for a couple of seconds; there was an irregular black specter behind me, and it couldn’t be my shadow – I was perfectly still while it moved for a while, and then disappeared.
It was terrifying.
“I’m speechless.”
Seeing my reaction, Jungkook sat on the edge of the desk and grabbed my hand.
“I know it looks like something supernatural, but I’m pretty sure it can be explained somehow. Don’t worry; all fellow ghost hunters would discredit this evidence in seconds.”
“I’m not worried; I don’t know what I’m feeling, but it’s not worry,” I spoke, still a little shook about the discovery. “Did you find anything else when editing?” I inquired, wondering if Jungkook had more aces up his sleeve.
“Nothing solid,” he declared with a sigh. “I was listening to the messages picked up by the spirit box, and one statement which you assumed unintelligible sounds like not alone, but once again, it’s not perfectly clear. It’s probably just my mind interpreting the white noise.”
“Too bad ghosts ain’t real. If we caught it on tape, we would be millionaires,” I confessed, and Jungkook nodded.
“If it makes you feel any better, I think we’ve gathered a lot of entertaining footage; my viewers are going to love it. It’s probably the dumbest video I’ve ever recorded,” Jungkook spoke, and I started to grin.
He was right – we were a great duo.
“Glad, I could help,” I answered proudly, boasting about my recording skills. Having tooted my own horn for an inappropriate amount of time, I inquired, “Since I’m already here, what do you want to do?”
“How about we cuddle?” Jungkook proposed, plopping on his bed, waiting for me to join him, and since his proposition was irresistible, I obediently lay down beside him, resting my head on his firm chest. “Mm
 it’s so comfy,” Jungkook purred as he wrapped his arms tightly around me.
“Have you decided where you’re taking me tomorrow?” I inquired, curious as hell about our date. Knowing Jungkook and how perfect he was at everything he did, I could only guess he would exceed my wildest expectations.
“How is it gonna sound if I tell you I’ve already had it planned out for a while?” Jungkook confessed, and I giggled when he started to press delicate kisses across my neck. It was ticklish, but I liked being teased like that.
“Is there a chance you tell me? You know I hate surprises,” I spoke, turning around on my side, caressing Jungkook’s chest and abs. Jungkook smiled adorably and shook his head. Damn it. “Is there a chance I can guess it?” I tried a different approach, but Jungkook shook his head once again.
“You’ll find out tomorrow,” Jungkook said, and I pouted.
“Is there a chance I can convince you to tell me now?” I challenged him, and before he managed to shake his head again, I sat astride on his muscular thighs, making him speechless. “You can tell me. I can pretend I’m surprised tomorrow,” I urged him, playfully moving my hips against his crotch. Curiosity was in my nature, and Jungkook was really getting under my skin with his stubbornness.
“You’re cute when you’re frustrated,” Jungkook stated before he effortlessly flipped us over, pinning me down to the mattress. “I’d love to push you to your limits, but I’m not ruining the surprise.”
“Come on, Jungkook. You can tell me. We’re best friends, and we don’t keep secrets from each other,” I carelessly mumbled until Jungkook shut me up with a passionate kiss, reminding me that we no longer were just best friends.
With my eyes closed, I gave in entirely, letting Jungkook’s hands roam all over my body. Our mouths moved in sweet harmony while my body writhed beneath him every time his little touches set my skin on fire.
This moment was magical, and I wished every time with Jungkook to be just as good. His smooth and soft movements made my body respond, leaving me breathless and craving for me whenever it lost contact with his hands.
“I really want to fuck you right now,” Jungkook absentmindedly confessed while he was pressing sensual kisses along my chin. “We should wait, shouldn’t we?” I inquired, and I wanted to shout my objection.
Judging by his boner digging into my thigh, he also wanted me to oppose.
“You should’ve thought about it before you kissed me like that,” I replied, and Jungkook smirked, tugging my blouse out of my jeans, slipping his large hands on my bare stomach, slowly making his way up to my breasts. “It’s too late to go back, lover boy,” I added, undoing the buttons of my blouse.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”
“Drop dead,” I corrected him, and Jungkook hummed in agreement, his eyes focused on my cleavage, wondering how my breasts bounce. Arching my back, I wrapped my hands around Jungkook’s hips, pressing them against me, making me feel his throbbing cock.
“You won’t be a good girl, will you?” Jungkook asked me, and I bit my lip, shaking my head, hoping he expected such an answer. “Of course, you won’t. Why did I even ask?” Jungkook smirked, playfully nibbling my delicate skin all over my cleavage, while his hand undid the button of my jeans.
“You always assume the worst when it comes to me,” I reminded him, tugging the hem of his T-shirt, wanting to get rid of it. It wasn’t fair – I was almost half-naked while Jungkook was still fully-clothed. “Take it off, I’m losing my patience,” I ordered, and Jungkook quickly pulled his T-shirt over his head, tossing in on the floor. “Jeans, too,” I added, and with an angry growl, Jungkook stood up and discarded his pants as well.
“Happy?” Jungkook asked, standing in front of me only in a pair of boxers.
“Over the moon,” I retorted, and Jungkook smirked as a playful idea crossed his mind. “What are you thinking about?” I questioned uncertainly, but Jungkook didn’t bother to reply. He just leaned forward, slid his fingers under the hem of my jeans, and pulled them down in one fluid motion.
“You make me impatient,” he confessed, and I kneeled on the bed, waiting for him to join me again. I needed him to kiss every inch of my body.
Right now.
“Come here,” I urged him, and he obediently sat on the bed, allowing me to sit astride on him again. “I wanna fuck you like this,” I blurted out, entwining my fingers behind Jungkook’s neck, pulling him closer into another heated kiss.
“I want you to fuck me like this,” Jungkook whispered when we finally parted. “Just jump on it and ride me until I come,” he said before reaching to his night stand for a condom. “Roll it down for me, will you?”
Obediently, I pulled Jungkook’s boxers down, and smeared the pre-cum all over his thick cock before putting a condom.
“I wanted it for so long,” Jungkook whispered when I raised my hips, slowly getting seated on his length. Though Jungkook didn’t go down on me before I took his cock, I didn’t mind it. It stung a little, but I enjoyed this sensation.
“Fuck yeah,” I moaned when I slid down his length all the way to the base. For a short while, neither of us moved, letting one another get used to it. “You stretch me up so fine,” I muttered, gently rolling my hips.
“Move, princess,” Jungkook urged me, and I began to ride him. At first, my actions were delicate and a little shy, but as soon as I relaxed, I picked up the pace, rocking my hips back and forth, making Jungkook moan loudly.
“I love it when men are vocal,” I confessed when I put my hands in his hair, tugging it slightly when I happened to fall out of my rhythm. “It gets me off much faster,” I added, and as if I challenged him, Jungkook moaned again.
“Good to know; now I gotta use this information to my advantage,” Jungkook whimpered with a soft smirk upon his face. “You love hearing my deep moans, don’t you?” Jungkook asked, and I replied in a heartbeat.
“Yes!” I exclaimed when Jungkook began thrusting his hips from underneath, shoving his cock deeper and deeper inside of me. “Ahh
 Jung-Jungkook, keep fucking me like that, please, don’t stop,” I begged, and Jungkook even increased his pace, quickly making me overwhelmed in pleasure.
“Your pussy feels so good,” Jungkook started, and I closed my eyes, feeling my orgasm approaching. With a couple of thrusts, I would come around his pulsating cock, and I couldn’t wait to welcome this blissful feeling. “So tight, yet you take my fat cock so well,” he praised, and I pulled his hair when he made me come.
“Fuck, Jungkook, that was amazing,” I praised him, and Jungkook kept ramming his dick inside of me, chasing his own release. His stamina was no joke, and I was feeling lucky because this incredible man was mine.
“Shit, shit, shit, I’m coming.” Shortly after me, Jungkook reached his orgasm, milking the condom with his jizz. “You’re out of this world,” Jungkook whispered before he wrapped his arms around me tightly, kissing me deeply.
We were both sticky with sweat, and we smelled like sex, but right now, I couldn’t care any less. Jungkook and I were floating in heaven.
“We should do it again in the morning,” Jungkook proposed, and I laughed, realizing it was the first time in my life I was actually excited to wake up early.
Unfortunately, our plans fell through.
Before my arrival, Jungkook had uploaded our Halloween clip into his YouTube channel, and then, Jimin forwarded it to Jiwoo.
Needless to say, Jiwoo blew up my inbox with notifications, furious at me and Jungkook for doing something so reckless shit without her supervision. Once again, she was the mom friend, and going into an abandoned house without her knowing was pure evil.
Thankfully, she didn’t hold a grudge for a long time – she grew pretty soft on us as soon as she discovered Jungkook and I were well
 dating.
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theaniviagodess · 7 years ago
Text
I love my mutuals!
I am in a good mood today and felt like showing how grateful I am for my mutuals. If you’re looking for new blogs to follow, try some of these! I’ll add a short description of the blog to try and save you time. I say “a lot” quite a bit in here and while normally I would fix it, I hope you understand that this took awhile so I don’t exactly feel motivated to. If you got tagged in this, you totally don’t have to do anything back! Don’t feel obligated to! I just want to share my friends! Please feel free to let me know if you want to be taken off the list or if something I said offended you, I really just want to share you in the best of light with my followers.  If you want to be my mutual, for whatever reason, just message me something! Send me a post you think I’d like, send me a joke, ask me a question, I don’t care! I love having people to talk to, I just suck at starting conversations.
@nishikinico - Lots of Love Live, anime in general, tons of memes, and commentary on social issues. They make mixes of Love Live songs and all their work is super, check them out! They have a search function on their blog and if you type in “mix” it’ll come up with a lot of cool stuff they’ve made!
@satanstolemyblog - This is one of my IRL buddies. He posts a lot of video game related stuff but also a lot of comedy stuff. He’s a super cool dude. I also live with him so if you like my blog there’s a high chance you’ll like his. 
@sasquatch-penetration - I totally forget how or why my and Kieran became mutuals but they post a lot of funny stuff and if I’m in a bad mood and just looking for laughs I tend to go to their blog and just scroll on it endlessly. 
@aceserena - Me and Serena played LoL together awhile ago! Lots of gaming, jokes, and some cute stuff too! High quality. 10/10 would duo again. Overall super chill and they’re one of the few mutuals I’ve interacted with.
@artoria-official - Lots of anime, lots of gaming, lots of...are you picking up on the theme of who I follow and who follows me? I’ve only interacted with them once but they were super friendly and helpful! They didn’t make me feel awkward about reaching out despite the lack of any small talk or lead into the conversation so they’re obviously a good person!
@alanshitpostsandgames - Lots and lots of Pokemon! Pokemon being one of my main hobbies pretty much anyone with quality Pokemon posts is worth a follow in my book. They post a lot of silly stuff too. I only recently started to follow them but they’ve put up with me for awhile so clearly they have good taste.
@iamhedwig915 - Another of my IRL friends. They post a lot of comedy stuff and in general are just super nice. I lived with them for over a year and I can’t honestly say anything negative about them. They were just such a sweet person and one of the best roommates. 
@so-hufflepunk - This is my girlfriend. Going off of messenger and nothing else, she’s tied for 1st for my most interacted with. She posts a lot of cute funny things and I just love her a lot and most of my sense of humor comes from her. If you want my blog to have cute stuff instead of anime, she’s your girl! She’s actually my girl but she’s your blog! Actually it’s her blog but you should follow her!
@theblackwitchworld - Lots of Madoka and Love Live. Madoka was one of the first animes that I got to sit down and watch with friends. It’s one of the biggest ties I have to one of my best friends. Meanwhile, Love Live is my favorite anime and probably the only anime they I have ever been actively invested in. So when I found a blog with both, it only made sense to follow them! 0 clue why they follow me tho
@suprememeep - We met during a Splatfest in Splatoon! Our group did super well with like 20+ wins. We found each other on Tumblr after that and have followed each other sense! If you were active in the Neko Atsume fandom, they created Glunkus and Hobo! They’re super friendly and I love interacting with them, even if it’s less than I’d like. 
@daeronsingollo - I forget how or why we started following each other, but they reply to a lot of my posts and whenever I interact with them it’s super enjoyable! They post a lot of Pokemon, art, and cute things! I love their blog a lot and it’s one of the more aesthetically pleasing blogs I follow.
@theamazingpants - Another IRL person. Me and Pants have been friends since 2010 or 2011. He’s probably one of my closest friends and I really care about him. He posts a lot of anime and gaming, surprise. He’s one of those people that you could never see yourself befriending nowadays, but because of the history, it just keeps working. <3
@flailmorpho - Me and Flail met on the Anivia tag! We both mained Anivia for a long time, it being our main common interest. Lots of comedy, gaming, and commentary. Super nice overall and I highly recommend them if you’re looking for someone chill to follow. 
@luccario8 - I think me and Luccario also met over on the Anivia tag. They post a lot of gaming stuff as well as comedy. Interactions with them are always super pleasant and I can’t do anything but praise them. Check them out!
@dustyshark - Another comedy blog I follow! They post a lot of happy stuff and only top quality jokes. I super love their blog and steal a lot of the jokes they reblog. They have amazing content and if you want more humor in your life I recommend heading over there.
@hornlessquipster - IRL friend and my gf’s roommate for 2 years now. They are LITERALLY the nicest person I know. They have offered me a place to stay when times were tough, they are always sticking their neck out for others, they are involved in so much stuff I literally do not know how they continue to function. They are super great and I love them. 
@nitrogennightmare - I follow a lot more IRL people than I thought. This is one of my best friends. They post a lot of comedy, music, and aesthetic stuff.  We vent to each other a lot, but because we both stink at staying in touch with people, mainly me, we’ve lost touch recently. They are super laid back and I love them 
@captaincrunchmakesmebleed - Anime and Comedy. This is one of the blogs I’ve followed and loved for a long time. I made them fanart once! They just came back from being dead for awhile. I really looked up to their blog for a long time and reblog a lot of stuff from them. Easily one of my favorite blogs on this hellsite. 
@spooksbot - I LOVE SPOOKS! While we don’t interact a lot I love following them, all of our interests are pretty much the same, and they are in general a super nice person. Their blog is a lot of fun and the interact with people a lot via open reply posts. They are a super cool person. We played Overwatch once together but the time difference is killer :/ HIGH RECOMMEND 
@killer-x-queen - A super funny blog! We interacted a lot back in the day and they were always so kind and nice. They had a post that was like “send me your best pickup lines” and I just kept sending them the shittiest puns I could think of. I was having a lot of fun with them. They are a great person <3
@zioketski - Lots of humor and Pokemon! At this point none of you should be surprised as to why I follow people. This is one of the mutuals I have where we don’t interact but like and reblog each others things! Their blog is quality. 
@cecilia-hatake - We’re getting far down my list now, into the realm of people I’ve been following for like...4+ years now. They post a lot of anime and I know I’ve interacted with them in the past. They have a lot of quality posts but their blog has been dead for a year :(
@bottaw - An IRL friend again! Will is one of the closest friends I made at college and is one of the most, if not the most, caring individual I know. He has a lot of video games and gem things on his blog. Will may not be one my longest friends...but he is one of the oldest ;P
@zanaea - Alright this motherfucker right here. Where the fuck do I start. We have been friends since 2009. Easily in my top 5 friends, probably 1st tbh. Joe and I have been through some shit and have been there for each other every single time. They have a lot of Pokemon, Video Game, Anime, Comedy, aesthetic, they have it all. I love this kid. I would give my money, the shirt off my back, my first born, and my life to keep them safe. They may not be perfect, but I’ll be damned if someone tries to say they don’t give it their all. 
@thepunkin-king - Matt is one of my oldest friends, like, over 15 years now. We met in elementary school, I wanna say 1st grade so 2001. His blog is dead but this kid was one of the best friends I have ever had. I don’t even know how to explain his blog since I haven’t visited it since I followed him back in like 2012/2013, but he is a cool dude. We keep in touch on FB, but barely. 
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purplegori · 5 years ago
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Hello, potential roleplay partners!
I am so so so very bored, and recently all my roleplay partners are quite busy so I decided to make a post to send a plea here. So yeah.
Stuff I WILL do:
OC roleplays: Yes, please! I'd love to hear about your characters!
Fluff: I'd love to! I'm so in the mood for fluff atm, so yeah, please step right up if you'd like to to fluff with me!
Ships: UH, DUH YES!
AUs: Totally cool with it! I love AUs and if you have any that you've made please don't hesitate to share!
Prompt-based: I LOVE RP PROMPTS SO YESSSS—
Action-based: I love action-packed roleplays! They're so much fun! It's like writing a scene in a movie, so please, please, if you feel like doing this tell me!
Comedy: I love a good laugh, but I'm sorry if my jokes or sense of comedy is trash, lmao I'm not the best at writing comedy but I try!
Roleplays with more than 1 person: YES YES YES ABSOLUTELY! I love rp chats! If you and other people would like to rp please dm me!
Mystery: I love a good mysery-themed rp, if interested you know what to do.
Thriller: I live for spooks!
If you want more clarifications feel free to ask!
Thing I will NOT do:
Honestly, anything that seems out of line like pedophilia, r*pe/non consent, smut or anything of the sense, I will NOT do.
My Lovely Fandoms
The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals (Starkid)
Firebringer (Starkid)
MAMD (Starkid)
A Very Potter Trilogy (Starkid)
Starship (Starkid)
Ani (Starkid)
Trail To Oregon! (Starkid)
Twisted (Starkid)
Spies Are Forever (Curt is best boi)
Hamilton: An American Musical
Be More Chill
Heathers The Musical
BBC Sherlock/ RDJ Sherlock (yes, both!)
Glee!
Marvel (all of their movies, I mean.)
Team Fortress 2
The Penumbra Podcast (Juno Steel only tho, I only recently started to listen to the Second Citadel, sorry.)
HTTYD (still the best trilogy of all time.)
Harry Potter
Kingsman ("Looking good, Eggsy." "Feeling good, Merlin.")
Percy Jackson (including Heroes of Olympus)
Yeah that's it I guess.
If you decide to try me out, feel free to dm me with a fandom both you and I are in, or hey, you can even come in with a fandom that's not listed and I might rp with you anyway.
See you soon, thanks for reading!
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westsidevideo · 8 years ago
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One Last Look Back
It's 2017, and though we're excited to move forward, it's tough not to look back just one last time. In 2016 we lost many top notch entertainers; we rounded up some of our (maybe unconventional) favorites that go in the unforgettable section.
[Look for Ashlyn’s ratings in the brackets, as usual.]
Star Wars (1977, PG) - We hope you’ve all seen this, but just in case, go fall in love with R2-D2 and the gang. Like...now. [It’s fiiiiine.]
Postcards From The Edge (1990, R) - This one breaks the mold a bit, but two insanely good actresses playing Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds, and that’s just excellent. [This is rated for language, though there is quite a bit of sex-related and drug-related talk. Probably nothings teens haven’t heard.]
Purple Rain (1984, R) - Okay, maybe this isn’t the best movie of all time, but it will always be classic, and the soundtrack is in the GOAT conversation. [Lots of upsetting themes in this one. Multiple forms of abuse, a suicide attempt, cursing, sex...so probably just older teens.]
Labyrinth (1986, PG) - The Goblin King danced through the maze and into both our dreams! [Little scary for small children.]
Galaxy Quest (1999, PG) - The cast of a very popular, discontinued science fiction television series accidentally ends up involved in a real galactic war. Will this movie make you laugh out loud? Always. [The visual gags will probably be scary for small kids, but everyone else should be good.]
To Kill A Mockingbird (1962, Unrated) - Atticus Finch dishes out lessons left and right in this classic literary tale, adapted perfectly for the screen. [The story is about a racially charged rape accusation and its echoes through a community. Probably not appropriate for small children.]
Run Ronnie Run (2002, R) - While the events of this comedy might now be a little too close to home, the endless cameos will make the trip worth it! [This has pretty much every reason for an R rating. Other parents will hate you if you show this to their kids; it’s too quotable for a clean getaway.]
When We Were Kings (1996, PG) - The Rumble In The Jungle gets the full documentary treatment here, showcasing then-underdog Muhammed Ali. [Documentaries are good for brains.]
Charlie Bartlett (2007, R) - Charlie is an eccentric teenager having trouble making friends at his new high school...until he innovates and becomes the psychiatrist to the student body, meds and all. Funny and endearing! [This would be PG-13 if they didn’t say the f-word roughly one billion times. Teens who have experienced language should be fine.]
Pretty Woman (1990, R) - The story is classic by now, and we owe it all the charms of Julia Roberts and the intuitive filmmaking of Garry Marshall. [There is obviously adult content, but it’s likely not too risque for older teens.]
Wasabi Tuna (2003, R) - This one crazy night story revolves around drag queens and gangsters in LA on Halloween Eve. Silly fun! [I’m just gonna call this one R and leave it at that.]
The Brady Bunch (1995, PG-13) - Something about taking a chance on moving our own little Pleasantville family into the 1990s made it all even more perfect. Double the nostalgia!
Firefly (2002, Television) - A little more genius from Joss Whedon in a show that was gone too soon (though the movie Serenity and the comics live on), featuring an excellent cast of misbehavin’ characters. [Fun for everyone!]
Growing Pains (1985, TV) - A family show with a home-based dad and a high-powered working mom? Sign us up! We still like the show even though one of its stars grew up to be kind of a jerk. [Family friendly.]
Extras (2005, TVMA) - An ambitious actor gets nowhere in his career, but gets us tons of excellent celebrity guest stars! [Older teens and adults.]
MASH (1972, TV) - The chuckles never stop from the folks at this Army hospital right in the middle of the Korean War, though we lost one of their finest in 2016. Salute and watch on![Kids who know what war is should be fine, although they might not get all the jokes.]
Dope (2015, R) - A blerd (Black nerd, for the new readers) trying to get into Harvard finds himself flung into a ridiculous and dangerous adventure with his friends, drug dealers, and a backpack that won’t go away. Excellent coming of age story! [Viewers will find cursing, drug references, drug use, and some sexuality. Older teens are probably good.]
The Year Without A Santa Claus (1974, Unrated) - Sick and discouraged Santa Claus decides to just skip the whole Christmas thing this year, so Mrs Claus, Vixen, and a couple of elves set out to bypass the Misers and spread some holiday joy. Classic! [All ages.]
Batman (1966, Television) - Holy cow, Batman’s early adventures are finally on DVD and you haven’t watched the whole series yet?! Get your life together and come rent this! [Not sure what a childhood would be without classic Batman, honestly.]
The Night Of The Hunter (1955, Unrated) - This is a crazy messed up noir of robberies and con artists to come out of the 1950s. You’ll be looking at dolls in other folks’ houses all sideways now. [Probably both too intense and too slowly paced for kids. Tweens and up.]
Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990, TV) - Here, America’s obsession with teen drama officially begins. Plus, get your Peach Pit tees at the shop! (Probably only teens or adults who previous
The Green Hornet (1966, TV) - Just as Batman was using bams and pows to win the hearts of Americans, Van Williams and Bruce freakin’ Lee were blasting their way through your television screens. This ain’t your grandpa’s Black Beauty! [This is a way more fun introduction to martial arts than getting knocked on the mat. Kids should be fine.]
Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955, TV14) - An absolutely incredible amount of star power passed through the gates of this short stories format show. Every bit is worth the watch. [I’d say anybody who has already seen Psycho and The Birds and been fine with it can watch the show.]
Martin (1992, TV) - So much magic in this sitcom, and even more in the huge slate of Black-led comedy programs in the 1990s offering diverse representation to viewers. Without Martin and other shows of its time, we wouldn’t have Black-ish or Empire or How To Get Away With Murder today. We’re gonna need these laughs again soon. [Tweens and up will probably get the most out of the funnies.]
Do The Right Thing (1989, R) - This film is a masterpiece. Spike Lee brings us the hottest day of the year where the racial tensions were already turned up to eleven. [There is a lot of cursing and a big riot. Not for the wee children, but teens will need to learn eventually.]
The Sound Of Music (1965, G) - Here’s another classic that we would all be culturally poorer for not having. If you somehow have not watched this, get it together. [Family friendly, even though there are totally Nazis.]
The Big Lebowski (1998, R) - If you live in Santa Cruz, this film is required watching. No excuses! [Unless you’re a child, in which case, you’re good, don’t watch this yet, just go regular bowling. There is a lot of language and a lot of sexual references and some scenes of (mostly) comical violence. So...maybe pre-screen.]
Young Frankenstein (1974, PG) - Mel Brooks is a genius, and this is one of his standout creations. Doctor Frankensteeeen is more than worth your time! [This rides between a PG and PG-13 to me, but older kids should be okay.]
Boston Public (2000, TV) - It’s like Law & Order in a high school, as we follow faculty trying to deal with those darn kids (and also live a little). This one went four good years of full-sized seasons, so you can totally binge this over 2017’s upcoming holiday weekends. [This is in the Ally McBeal range of acceptability- little kids will have no interest, tweens and teens will be either super interested or refuse to watch with you.]
Gilmore Girls (2000, TV14) - What a gem. Seven seasons of mostly great family storytelling. Don’t miss Babette and Morey- the neighbors you always wanted!
Enter The Dragon (1973, R) - What a battle! You will want to learn kung-fu after you watch this. [There’s uh...quite a bit of fighting. ‘Cause kung-fu.]
Popular (1999, TV14) - Ryan Murphy begins! This is his pre-Glee nonmusical cheerleader-y show, and boy is it a fun watch. [Teens will love this best.]
Valley Of The Dolls (1967, PG-13) - There’s no business like show business; turns out it’ll probably seriously mess you up. [There are adult themes here, but not really actual adult material. Kids will be bored senseless, but some teens will like it.]
Grandma's Boy (2006, R) - A thirty-something video gamer ends up having to live with his grandmother and her golden girl housemates. Pretty funny stuff! [This one’s a pretty hard R.]
The Twilight Zone (1959, TV) - This is a staple, scarring kids and spooking adults for nearly 60 years. We’re privileged to have the whole series available. [There’s creepy things for everyone here, of all ages.]
Darkman (1990, R) - Sam Raimi gets weird, and we get weird with him in this fantasy actioner. [This one’s probably a PG-13 without the couple f-bombs, but it has stylized violence and a pretty twisted tone. I’d say 16+.]
Beverly Hills Cop (1984, R) - Eddie Murphy is a brilliant actor, and his comedy is on point in this culture clash story of a Detroit cop on the worst vacation ever in Beverly Hills. [There is a lot of swearing, quite a bit of violence, and a bunch of drug dealers. 16+.]
The Sopranos (1999, TVMA) - Tony Soprano is just a regular guy trying to keep his two families- home and mob- on track. This show started a lot of modern cable television trends, and will definitely survive the ages. [HBO show for grownups.]
NOW we can move on. The losses the film community sustained last year were worse than usual, in our opinion, but that just means more new folks will have to step up and become the next legends. Get to work!
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