#me @ aquas writing

[myaatwins]

so. i know this isn't nothing new and there's probably a thousand (far more eloquently written) posts about this but! in light of chapter 166 i just wanted to reiterate this once more.

the movie arc seems like it's supposed to be about other characters understanding ai. who was ai hoshino? what were her flaws, her hopes, her dreams? she wasn't a goddess–far from it–so who was the real ai, the person rather than the idol?

and it failed on delivering. so bad!!!!

sure we have a bit about ruby Starting to understand ai. nothing from aqua because who cares right. because if aqua actually came to understand ai how could we have the tragic but "hopeful" ending?

ai's dream was never to perform at the dome.

the dome was always ichigo and miyako's dream. ai, being the The Ultimate People Pleaser, just smiled and nodded–acted as if she were happy.

so it's really weird how performing at the dome was reframed to be ai's dream, the fate that she could never fulfill–but hey it's okay because ruby will!!!

there was no need for history to be rewritten and this actually just makes it seem (no matter what the actual intent was) that the others never did learn to see through ai's facade.

(also might i add that this is also harmful to ruby's character in the sense that she is not allowed to have her own dreams. it would have been perfectly fine for her to want to perform at the dome because it was what SHE wanted to do but. alas after a certain point of the story ruby is not allowed to exist outside of brocon jokes or to be anything other than ai 2: electric boogaloo)

was her dream for ruby to be an idol and for aqua to be an actor?

when ai said that she imagined a future where ruby was an idol and aqua was an actor she didn't say it because that was her dream.

personally i think that because ai was dying and she knew it would cause her children pain she wanted them to know that their futures could still be bright and that they should have hope!! i don't even think she gave it much thought other than that they looked happy and like they had fun performing!!! which made her happy!!!!!!!

but she never would have imposed that future on them. ai knew about the entertainment world and she never would have forced her babies to be a part of it unless they wanted to.

so what were ai's dreams? easy: for her loved ones to be safe and happy.

this. that's it.

so

"the future that mama [...] illuminated for me"

is it though? would ai have wanted this? would she want the man that she had loved–who she had known as a boy who was hurting and who needed someone to be there for him–to die as nothing more than a cartoonish villain? would she want ruby to have to pretend she wasn't miserable so she could fulfill ai's not-dream of performing at the dome? would she want her precious son, who she loved from the moment she saw him on the ultrasound, to die a gruesome, painful death, even though he so desperately wanted to live?

not in a million years.

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

what the hell was i on last night huh

[thatdeadaquarius]

"all we really know about this one is it's some kind of insult" Alhaithem gestured to the stone in the case "The first words of the beginning line should translate to 'your parent', with the second one saying 'you take that'. We can only assume it to be of insulting nature, unless you say otherwise...?" He looks toward you, curiously.

"...buys you megablocks instead of legos" you mumble unconsciously, holding in laughter because he wasn't wrong.

"What?" He leaned in to hear you better.

"Nothing, you're right but it's not an insult that really makes sense here" You swiftly move along to the next showcase, after reading it things become clear that these are from about the 2010's. "Alhaithem we should probably move on, most of these are obscure references to... plays, and jokes. Like this one" you point at the case "is Fre shavaca do".

"Fre...shaca do?"

"It's um, a joke about someone mis-writing a sign"

10/10 i cant believe this has been sitting here like the gem it is ToT

im so glad im posting all these at the same time tho bc i love confusing/bullying Alhaitham, call me a Kaveh kinnie ig

ANYWAY SORRY FOR NOT SHARING UR GREAT WRITING WITH THE WORLD BEFORE NOW THIS IS HILARIOUS

this kinda reminds me of my most recent post abt, but 10x more frustrated Alhaitham LMAO

You, constantly: "nah u wouldnt get it bro, u had to be there"

Alhaitham: "But I AM here, I would "get it", ahem, honorable sibling Lord??"

btw here's my lowkey bullying Alhaitham post, hehe

☆

Safe Travels Anon,

💀♒

(not tagging beloveds bc i be harassing them this week with short posts rip)

[dustdeepsea]

“I could wash your hair for you,” he offers, with a rakish smile. “Tuck you into bed after. If that’s all that you wanted?”

You meet the Zhentarim agent that promised you a drink at the Elfsong. The night doesn't go as planned.

Folks - I have absolutely no excuse for any of this. Rugan's voice did something to my poor brain. This Tav is angry, horny, and extremely bad at feelings.

This is, by far, the most explicit thing I've ever written. Enjoy the 2.5k of smut, with a veneer of plot for the rest.

Thank you to @my-favourite-zhent for the inspiration.

aqua vitae

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Rugan/Tav (Baldur's Gate)

Characters: Rugan (Baldur's Gate), Tav (Baldur's Gate), Original Female Character(s)

Additional Tags: Drinking, One Night Stands, Hair Washing, Enthusiastic Consent, Drunk Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Penis In Vagina Sex, Female Ejaculation, Tav is Bad at Feelings (Baldur's Gate), POV Second Person

Read on AO3 (5,758 words)

[avale-reves]

while i will always understand people's disappointment about MelMem and the way the Kairi thing went, I just will like never agree with like "it was sexist and lazy and trash and that is the only thing it can be" takes. like "Sora had to save Kairi from Xehanort such sexist trash!" is the only way it can be read and not you know "Kairi being unable to defeat this version of Xehanort that represents her insecurities, doubt and trauma on her own at this point in her arc demonstrates her need and desire to face these things and grow on her own first."

Riku is unable to defeat Anti-Aqua on his own, and calls out for Sora to help. Kairi similarly is unable to defeat Xehanort on her own and calls out for Sora to help. One of these is apparently "allowed" and another is just inherently terrible no matter what and should never exist.

Like y'all claim to want Kairi to have story and have depth and experience growth but balk at any attempts to do that if they include things like "set backs" or "character faults" or shit, but those things are necessary for that growth to feel earned.

[nin-deer]

Ch 143

i mean i think we all knew deep down the kiss was gonna happen based on the flow of the story but i think this chap reveals a lot about gorou and sarina

(uh warning this got a little out of hand so its pretty long lmao)

so.

i dont think anyone's completely in the wrong, but i definitely don't think they're in the right either. (not that i condone incest; its just that their motivations led them to this specific point. would the story have been fine without it? hell yeah. please i actually prefer it that way. but this is the direction the author decided to take it, so we have to take it as it is as a point of learning more about the character's motivations)

Let's first analyze sarina and gorou's relationship pre-reincarnation. I think I covered this in my last post where I rambled about onk, but gorou is doing a doctor thing where he "accepts" sarina's proposal just to make her happy. We learn in this new chapter that he basically catered to her every request, and that's what started that infatuation. we know from previous chapters that her bio family's shitty, so the only place she would get this love is from gorou. we also learn in this chapter that it's not actually a romantic love but a fanatic love, for lack of better terms. she sees him as her idol. does sarina even know what it feels to be romantically in love with someone? she spent her whole first life in a hospital, isolated from others her age. she spent her second life very curated and protected because of her mom and her future career; she couldn't really live a normal life. (we'll get back to this point later) all she knows about love is through her idols, so she's channeling it into (what she thinks is) romantic love for gorou.

gorou, on the other side of this, is an actual adult who had an actual life before all this, so he knows what a normal life is like. assuming sarina is one of his first patients, its obvious to see that he got attached, which is a very risky situation for scenarios like this. we see this attachment made her death worse, as he threw himself into following Ai to cope for her death. not gonna go too in depth about this here because, again, i made another post for this that i'll probably link at the end bc im referencing it more than i thought... continuing! he knows sarina doesnt have long left so he wants to do what he can for her, thus creating that "idol" persona sarina has for him.

we see in his regret in this new chap that he actually knows what he's doing and is aware of the consequences of his actions. ruby doesn't. she doesn't regret anything. as someone who reads a lot of isekai/reincarnation stories, its easy to joke that ruby and aqua are their old age + their new age, but that isn't necessarily true for ruby. sure, aqua is old and this could apply to him. but ruby? she didn't make it past 18 before she died. she's like,,, 13 times 2. double 13. she never fully developed in her first life, and she's developing in this current life. it's like a continue from where she left off. aqua actually was an adult, so he has all the knowledge and wisdom of an adult. why does this matter? shift your attention back to the concept of love for a bit. aqua knows what she's doing is bad and is trying to stop her, but the knowledge that she's sarina is making him automatically succumb to her wishes. a part of his brain, because of the trauma, still sees ruby as the sickly sarina he was caring for.

ruby is naïve. she doesnt know what love is. all the love she's ever been exposed to is whatever she saw online: idols. i dont even think she fully knows what the concept of family is. aqua is her brother? nope. aqua is the doctor she proposed to and now she has a chance to follow through like all the shows she's seen. she's closer than ever to him, so why give up the chance? even as ruby, she wasn't exposed to a lot of normalcy because of idol culture. she isn't able to learn about the difference between platonic love and fanatic love. we even see this with ai, who she sees more as an idol than her mom. the joy is in her idol being her mom, someone who's supposed to care for her. it's like shes living a fantasy made just for her. because aqua was so obsessed w revenge, he didn't have the chance to teach her anything, and it's not like he needed to learn bc he already knows. ruby doesn't.

aqua, as the one who understands these nuances, should have sat her down and explained things, but he didn't because of the trauma of sarina. ruby is ignorant and is treating things like a tv drama, now that her dreams as sarina can finally become true. aqua doesn't realize how serious ruby is about this because in his mind this is just a child playing house. ruby is like,,,, imagine you die and you wake up actually being sold to one direction. or whatever happens to you in your fav self-insert scenario/fanfic. idk a better analogy lmao but its like finally being able to play out your fantasies irl. she doesn't realize the real world impacts of her actions because, frankly, she doesn't care. she gets to live out her life as she wants. aqua was shocked after the first kiss with ruby because he realized then she was being serious, but he didn't speak out about it because, again, the trauma™. (we see him again uncomfy with the whole situation in the next page, but his lack of objection could be bc it's a scene in the documentary and he finds it more important to get revenge rn) ruby kissed him then because she purposefully created the mood like that so it would fit in the story she was writing in her mind.

so what does this mean? because of their shared pasts, aqua and ruby are put in this situation where ruby can do what she wants and aqua goes along with it. even if he knows its morally wrong, he can't bring himself to break ruby's immersion in all of this. BUT. big but. aqua shouldn't act like this. they're both capable of living out their lives as normal (barring the revenge and the whole idol stuff). he doesn't need to act like this anymore; ruby's not terminally ill. he's not a doctor. what he should have done was firmly deny her stuff he knows is wrong because then he can educate her about the reason why. as much as their personalities are inspired by their past lives, sarina and gorou are dead. they need to move on and live a aqua and ruby. (Harsh, I know, but because of this scenes like *gestures vaguely to the newest two chapters* happens. if aqua stood his ground and taught ruby about familial love and that what she's feeling is probably not romantic, i think this could have been avoided. but alas, we need it for the ~drama~)

-

sorry that went on way longer than i thought lmao. i think i covered everything i wanted to say but im too lazy to read back so fingers crossed

if you made it this far and are curious about the other post i mentioned in the beginning, its here. i just think its some context to my thought process but not necessary to understand this post

[skania]

I realized something yesterday while replying to an ask.

I've never dared to question Akane's conclusion above because I felt it'd be hypocritical of me to do so, considering I pretty much see her as an Aqua Interpreter.

But now that I think about it exclusively from Akane's perspective, I can see why she could have reached the wrong conclusion (if we play with the hypothesis of Aqua's feelings for Kana being platonic rather than romantic).

It all starts, of course, with the TB arc—except not quite. It actually begins on the very night Aqua and Akane become a fake couple.

Here Aqua confirms to Akane, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he doesn't see her romantically. For the next few months and up to the moment when Aqua kisses her for real, Akane has no reason to question this. She grows closer to Aqua, yes, but their interactions from his side are contextualized with the knowledge that he just doesn't see her that way.

Enter Kana.

In the two occasions above, Akane is shown noticing the attention Aqua pays to Kana. However, it's important to note that the manga doesn't quite frame either of them as romantic to the reader. At the contrary, the first one is explicitly framed as Aqua's competitiveness as an actor flaring up, and the second is analogous to the way Akane herself regards Kana.

Maybe Akane knows this—or maybe she, who idolized Kana growing up and knows her qualities better than anyone, doesn't fail to realize all the ways Kana fits Aqua's description of his ideal girl. In either case, this is all just background noise until the moment Kana brags about Aqua taking her out on date.

What does Akane know, up to this point?

Aqua doesn't see her romantically

Aqua is planning to break up with her

Aqua thinks he's finally free to fall in love

Aqua went on a date with Kana the very next day after he tried to break up with her

All of this, combined with the attention Aqua pays to Kana, is indeed more than enough to have Akane reach the conclusion that Aqua's feelings for Kana are romantic.

It also perfectly explains Akane's thoughts in Chapter 87, because before Aqua kissed her, Akane was acting under the assumption that Aqua wanted to date Kana instead of her.

What Akane doesn't know is that, while Aqua was on that date with Kana, he had already changed his mind about breaking up with her.

His relationship with Akane was an open question to him rather than a closed deal—the complete opposite from that night when Aqua was certain his relationship with Akane would never be more than a lie.

What's more, Akane doesn't know that when Aqua said that he was thinking of falling in love—he was also thinking of her.

I've said this before, but if Aqua were dead set on pursuing Kana romantically, this date right here would've been the perfect chance for him to tell Kana that he and Akane were a done deal.

But he did the opposite, because by this point the way Aqua perceives Akane has already changed.

And most of all—Akane doesn't know that for Aqua, that carefree moment they share under the umbrella is one of the many ways she has been saving him, to the point Aqua remembers it when he thinks of living "happily ever after".

Akane, despite how well she reads Aqua, doesn't know any of this. Why? Because Akane, Queen of selling herself short, has never questioned what Aqua told her back then: that he doesn't see her romantically.

For Akane, Aqua wanting to date her for real was likely just Aqua giving himself the chance to maybe start seeing her that way.

Which is why she describes their couple this way, even though at this point they have been dating for real for 6 months...

Why she doesn't stop to consider just how broken Aqua would be if something were to happen to her...

...And why she is so surprised when Aqua shows her just how much she has come to mean to him.

Akane may be an Aqua Interpreter, but a shift in Aqua's feelings for her could very well be the one thing to blindside her. After all, she would never dare to hope he has grown to love her back.

[redge]

How is it that I am more accepting of all the stories and theories I've read about the Oshi no Ko than where we are right now?

Also, some people really think that OnK readers are furious about the story because it was tragic? Tragedies are endings that will linger on you. Tragic endings are endings that will give a lasting feeling and in my opinion, they're more weighted than happy endings. In all cases, not all endings should be happy. I am very accepting of tragic endings but I just can't ride with this one because killing off Aqua did not feel like the only option left to punish the antagonist of the story. Why was letting the authority punish Kamiki not an option when they've already caught Nino red-handed?

The story has never been fair to anyone. Like crow girl oh my goodness what was the point of her existence anyway? She just narrated and talked in Aqua's dream and that's it?!

Ruby! She lost her beloved sensei. She lost her beloved idol. And now she lost her twin brother. So is the story we want to tell here is that life is shitty but you should pick yourself up and fight to the end because okay yes I get it but was killing off Aqua really necessary for the story to proceed? Because again there are other options we could've dealt with Hikaru so is this just tragedy for tragedy's sake?!

Akane! How come she's doing a detective's job when she should be doing her job as the genius actress that she is?! How come you put that weight on a character who almost killed herself and had felt indebted with Aqua's kindness to the point that she's willing to sacrifice herself for Aqua? How come you write off this character with the greatest deepest love through self-sacrifice wheh she is a young lady with a bright future ahead?!

Miyako! You made her take over Ichigo Production, take care of Ruby and Aqua, made her watch them from the sidelines. She knows she can never replace Ai as the twin's mother but she's done her best to be a mother to them then you decide to kill off Aqua could you imagine the guilt she will always feel for not protecting her son enough?!

Taiki! He was happy knowing that he has a brother because apart from the director, he's been alone all his life. I doubt they would ever know that Aqua committed suicide but could you imagine the despair Taiki would feel for losing his parents and his brother to suicide?!

The movie 15-Year-Lie! Even that movie was handled unfairly because are you telling me that with all the hype placed for that movie, with the story of Ai, the nation's favourite idol being told post-humous, is still not enough to be successful so let's kill off her son whom all she ever wanted was to live healthy and happily.

So maybe the message here is to endure life's cruelty, be strong, survive and live on "towards the stars and dreams"? Is that it?

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

u/JustALittleButtonHatRat:

AITA for not wanting to burn a dried mushroom?

I (adult M?) am staying in a huge mansion with several of my friends for the winter. Two of those friends are O (adult M) and S (adult M), the latter of whom I swear is a witch. A couple of weeks ago, I went exploring in the basement of the house and found a dried blue mushroom with orange spots; I decided to keep it because I thought it was pretty.

A few days ago, after a very dangerous incident involving sizeshifting cat clones (blame S for that), some of my friends and I went to the boiler room of the house and saw it was filled with this blue fungus that was the exact same thing as my mushroom. Apparently, there's an infestation of it in there (O planted one in there to get rid of an insect infestation and then it spread out of control all over the place), and they give off toxic spores that can kill everyone if you breathe them in. O and some of S's family members apparently got killed by breathing in those spores (don't worry, O's okay now).

I then pointed out that I had my dried mushroom and nothing's ever happened to me because of it. O and S panicked and told me to burn my mushroom, with S wanting to confiscate it in order to destroy it. I refused to, because maybe it's harmless if it's dried like mine? I was okay the whole time I had it.

S then opened a way into the toxic spore boiler room, apparently to show me how unsafe it is to go in there? He said it was a warning, but I told him outright that it sounded like a threat.

Later, I talked with my lawyer friend about this and they said maybe we could have used my dried mushroom to investigate more about this kind of mushroom, especially because S (who is, as I said, a witch) might be able to make something that can make us immune to the toxic spores.

I suggested this to them, but S said that "nothing good can come of it" and refused to, and that witchcraft always goes wrong whenever we used it (re: sizeshifting cat clones. Also, another friend E and I got turned into cats once because of a potions accident; it was a whole thing, don't worry, we're back to normal now). When they told me to throw the mushroom in, I faked it and threw in something else instead… I just couldn't do it. My mushroom never did anyone harm for as long as I've had it.

I couldn't keep it a secret for very long after that because my lawyer friend made me swear I did, and I ended up giving the mushroom to S so he could burn it.

AITA for wanting to keep the mushroom? I'm really sad just thinking about it now.

Edit 1: For context, S is the resident farmer and chef among our friends; O is the resident tinkerer/engineer/scientist guy, and we joke that he makes all of the rules.

Edit 2: It's been about a week and a half since the incident and S gave me a replica mushroom he made as a Christmas present. Should I forgive him?

[Out-of-universe disclaimers: The entire post would, in theory, have probably been written with the help of other rats because this would chronologically take place before "A Letter to Home". I'm hand-waving the "how they got the mushroom" part because r!Will canonically did not remember this, but let's just assume (for the purposes of this post) that we as fleas/chat reminded them of this by tracking the VODs.]

[This post was written at the request of @willowmvp.]

[Cross-posted on AO3 as "The Mushroom Incident".]

[cottondo]

how do you manage to nail Shake’s shitty personality so well?? love your work 🙌 !!

I’ve studied that asshole a lil too well

also, i believe in not changing a shitty character to fit in better with other characters / head canon writing (which is a pretty big problem I’ve witnessed in maaaany fics of other fandoms as well) . He’s raw, a horrible person, and deserves to stay written as such 🤣

[isara0408]

So, I've joined a new Fandom and I wrote a story about it. That's what I've been doing this whole time, lol. So, yeah, enjoy it, whoever is in this Fandom! :D

What would have happened if Ai had left the twins in the hands of Hikaru to take care of? What if the twins were able to change the fate of both Ai and Hikaru? ____ After the tragic separation between Ai and Hikaru and the birth of the twins, Ai made a hard choice of leaving her children in the hands of their biological father. Knowing she couldn't love them the way she wanted or understood how to love someone or something and her being an Idol, she knew she wasn't going to give her children the love of a parent that they deserved and give them the normal life they deserve without needing to hide from the toxic world. In the hands of Hikaru, Ai hoped to see the man, who always wanted to be loved, could give their children what they needed and save him from that dark place he was trapped in. Hikaru, now, had to handle being a father to his two stars that the woman he loved gave him along with dealing with the monster who began his trauma while hoping to be with Ai again one day.

[druidx]

Finally made a proper reference sheet for Elo, all post-Destiny's New Servants Campaign.

[wia-tia]

Hikaru loves his children.

[3]

This is part of a series, you don’t need to read the others, but it might add some extra context:

Part [0]: main post

Part [1]: Hikaru’s motivations

Random intermezzo

Part [2]: Hikaru’s relationship with Yura, Nino, Ryosuke

Part [3]: Hikaru's relationship with Aqua & Ruby

I think his affection for Aqua and Ruby is hinted at throughout the manga. For example, in the interviews (I assume he did all of them) he probes after their lives, wellbeing and early careers. He seems to have followed them for a while and speaks kindly to them, which I think means that he has genuine fatherly feelings for them that are veiled by a sense of guilt. Ai felt like she could raise the kids together with him, which makes me think he would be able to if he was in a better mental position.

Interviews:

The idea that all the interviews might be Hikaru’s is really interesting. This suggests that he has been keeping tabs on his children to know how they’re doing, showing his affection for them and his timid nature that has been shown in the movie.

In his first interview with Ruby, he is aware that this is her first acting job. He asks her how she feels about it, a question that feels normal for an interview yet caring. In an interview with Miyako, he asks what it’s like to manage the twins and if they’re geniuses, a term Ai used to describe them. Notably, Miyako is referred to as [manager] and not mother, which makes it seem like he doesn’t see her as their mother. Hikaru is also interested in Ai’s legacy. He questions a fan about idols they’ve liked, probably probing for Ai. The otaku recalls Ai’s concert where the twins did the dance and, in the anime, she receives a bouquet of white roses before it. This connects that concert to Hikaru.

Outside of Miyako, he also interviews other central figures to the twins’ life, meaning he knows their closest relationships. He congratulates Gotanda and, indirectly, asks what Aqua & Ruby were like as children. In Kana’s interview, he asks about her reputation as a genius actress, nothing interesting though he shows an awareness of her connection to the twins and maybe tries to understand why she matters to them. He asks a kindergarten teacher about the twins and once again asks if they’re gifted. Hikaru knows where the kids attended school, meaning he has been keeping tabs on them for a while.

It’s interesting that he interviewed Saito before the movie. He asks about Ichigo’s management regarding Ai and I think he indirectly asks why he is a fisherman instead of managing Ichigo Production, which I think alludes to his interest in those connected to Ai. This could also be a reason why Ichigo is angry at the interviewer and why he instantly shuts Aqua’s “my father is dead” down.

Hikaru’s relationship with Aqua

I think he’s supposed to represent a dark mirror to Aqua, reflecting a path Aqua might have taken had he lacked the family and friends who kept him grounded. I think the ending of the manga may change this stance of mine :(((((((. While Aqua has loved ones, Hikaru lost Ai, Seijuro (Seijuro-senpai), Airi (Airi-san), Ryosuke (Ryosuke-kun) and Yura. They all differ in effect and closeness and if they actually helped him but they were people he leaned on. Though Nino is still in his life, I think he stays more out of guilt than a close trusting friendship (Kamiki-san < - > Nino-kun), especially for, in his view, taking Ai and maybe Ryosuke away from her. Guilt drives both Hikaru and Aqua, but in contrast to Aqua whose relationship give him more resilience, Hikaru doesn’t have anyone. Can't really say this anymore because of the last few chapters; but we'll see how it goes. I'm still processing them. I had a more positive outlook of the manga's ending, when I wrote this in the past few weeks, than I do now, sadly :((.

Aqua’s self-sacrificing tendencies, his sense of being a burden and his preference to do things without asking for help even when he needs it, mirrors Ai more. I hope he’ll overcome that and not repeat the mistakes of the past generation. These last chapters are not helping this more positive interpretation :(((((. In chapter 152, Hikaru emphasises with Aqua and is curious behind the reason that Aqua lies towards him and bottles his feelings up. I think it’s quite interesting that he instantly sees through the lie, like Ai told him in the movie, lies don’t work on Hikaru if he doesn’t believe them already (which is similar to Ai [Ai did call him the same as her] -> she saw through his lies but never through her own lie that she wasn’t able to love others). His empathy and curiosity over Aqua’s lies suggest that he recognises his own emotional restraint in Aqua. In chapter 153, his eyes look quite emotional to Aqua’s promise of revenge almost like it’s a relief to him. This scene makes it feel as if he’s been waiting for Aqua’s hatred and considers it a fitting response to his actions.

During this chapter, he offers a seemingly honest review of the movie, using lines from chapter 1. He says that the love between him and Ai was only one-sided and that Ai didn’t love him twice (also in 154). He also implies he has never been loved by anyone else (“she was just like everyone else”). Showing that he didn't have anyone, in contrast to Aqua. 1He congratulates Aqua on fulfilling his wish and if revenge were Ai’s wish then he’ll accept it. 2He says he loved her from the bottom of his heart. 3He also says he is glad that he could finally talk to Aqua which indicates that he really wanted to for a while, which could be confirmed if the interviews are his. I think these last three points suggest a sincere paternal affection. This sentiment is also seen as he describes himself as a murderer, but still says that those last few sentences (his paternal feelings) are how he really feels, for no practical reason. So, I think he’s speaking the truth.

Despite his immoral actions, he doesn’t seem to resent the twins; at one point, he was willing to take care of them, marry Ai and be a family together. Hikaru’s sense of guilt over the past is evident. He blames himself for what happened with Airi and also Ai. It didn’t really help that Ai seemed to give his situation with Airi as another reason for her leaving (even though she just didn’t want to burden him with another child). He also mentions that he is willing to sacrifice his life for Ai out of the blue? I think this is why he’s fine with the revenge (his death) Aqua has, if that’s what Ai would’ve wanted.

He humanises Ai by describing her as a normal human being living a normal life where she was afraid, selfish and cruel, just an ordinary girl you could find anywhere. A direct contradiction to his previously established goal of preserving Ai’s memory by killing those who might surpass her and to immortalise them. I think this contradiction means that Hikaru’s guilt drives his actions. The previous stated reason seems to fit Nino’s reasonings more. When It’s revealed that the DVD is a love letter to him, he says that he will do what he can for Ai, which now I seriously wonder what that means. I think he wanted to fulfil Ai’s wish to save him by killing himself, which would stop everything, as he was at a random cliff at night. (What was he doing there, just watching Ruby’s concert at a cliff? For the ambiance?) Hikaru is called empty by the narrator, which I think is interesting, when you connect that to the song Fatal and what Airi said to him. It could be that guilt is the only thing he can feel now, which makes him feel alive and closer to Ai as he feels guilty for taking part in her death.

In the last few chapters, he invites Aqua to watch Ruby’s concert with him. He tells Aqua that they and Ai have eyes that make people believe you (also obey you), that deceive others and have charisma. Something also echoed by Kindaichi as having deceiving eyes. This is a trait that links them. He also says that he understands that it feels good to have an impact on people, yet we only see positive memories when Aqua thinks about this line, which makes me question what Hikaru thinks.

The distinction between white stars (wanting to love) and black stars (wanting to be loved) emphasise that Ruby wants to love everybody, even Hikaru in the way the panel frames him, despite Ruby saying she can’t forgive him in chapter 147. This is further supported in chapter 155 which says Ruby has forgiven him. I would’ve loved to see this more elaborated in the manga (but, unfortunately, this will probably never be mentioned again).

Later in that arc, Tsukiyomi says that Hikaru was obsessed with the idea that killing those who could surpass Ai would increase her significance, but we still haven’t seen where he got the idea from. It only explains why he waits till Ruby turns 18 and she “surpasses” Ai, to kill her. She also says that he manipulated those around him and that it is his destiny to try to kill Ruby. I find this fatalistic view quite weird and it clashes with Ruby and Aqua’s saying that they are looking towards the future by shaping it themselves. Hikaru’s intent to kill Ruby contradicts with his interactions with Aqua that show his desire for Aqua to have a good future. Why wouldn’t he want that for Ruby too?

In Hikaru and Aqua’s final confrontation, Hikaru says Ruby has no future but to wither and die. This comes out of nowhere. Does he want Aqua to kill him? Is this the reason he also sponsors the movie in chapter 138? He says that killing him would increase Ai’s significance. Is this because he would feel guilty if Aqua would kill him, because Aqua would be hurt in the process, even though he wouldn’t mind being dead? He does ask him if it’s really okay to kill and what would happen after that, hinting that he cares about the twins and that they should head for the future. He then gives some good points about Aqua becoming a murderer not being good for Ruby. Why would he care, if she’s going to wither and die??? Why would he care about the wish she told him in 147, if she will wither and die?? It’s almost as if he wants Aqua to be angry at him. He also calls Aqua smart and gives him reasons to live, which is cute if you ignore the context wherein he is provoking Aqua. Hikaru even seems happy that Aqua also thinks his life is valuable, like why would he if he didn’t give a flying fck about his kids. He’s only shocked when Aqua says he’ll throw that all away and he doesn’t even plead for his own life, he’s pleading for Ruby's reputation. Why would he do that once again if she’s going to wither and die? His reaction to Aqua stabbing himself ain’t satisfaction either. I think him saying stop at Aqua for pushing him down a cliff is a normal human reaction but could also be him in disbelief that Aqua threw his life away. During this confrontation, his words seem aimed more at Aqua’s well-being than at his own self-preservation. I think he didn't mind dying, but feels guilty that he, indirectly, dragged Aqua into death. I think his guilt plays the most important role here. That emotion is more tangible to him than any other emotion, giving him a sense of connection both to the dead and I think even to the living and thus his children.

In the sea, he grasps Aqua and I don’t think he is choking Aqua because the panels in front of that say he’s losing strength and he also has the disadvantage of being under Aqua, being forced down by gravity and the pressure of all the water on top of him. (Still kinda laughing at Aqua choking Hikaru UNDER WATER, he can’t breathe already, why choke him lmao). Hikaru also for some reason doesn’t want to die yet. (Does anyone have an idea why?) He only feels alive when he was with Ai. It’s as if he can only feel alive and feel her presence by using the weight of his burden, aka his guilt. He feels less guilt over time, so he needed to feel that guilt again. He does this by involving himself in murders. This motive might explain why he used Nino to kill because he would feel guilty for using her and it's more in line with his timid and formerly noble nature. He can’t bring himself to do those actions with his own hands. His final statement, “if I had killed Ruby”, came out of nowhere. When I read that line at first, I was like where does this come from? But now thinking more about it, I think he would’ve felt the closest to Ai when he would’ve made Ruby die because he would’ve felt the most guilt when killing his daughter which brings us to the next twin.

Hikaru’s relationship with Ruby

I believe Hikaru’s connection to Ruby is marked by guilt and genuine affection. I think he’d feel the most guilt for killing Ruby or being involved in her death, which would make him feel the most connected to Ai. I see this guilt as a sign that he did care about his children on some level. However, if he expected Nino to kill Ruby, why would he watch Ruby’s concert in the middle of nowhere even though she should’ve been dead by then? (If nobody surpassing Ai was the motivation, didn't he fail then, according to the manga's narrative?) After that call in chapter 158, Nino could act on her own, but if Nino didn’t work then what? Either he didn’t think this through or he knew Nino would get caught, which could mean he wanted to wrap it all up and maybe just kill himself at the cliff? I think he wanted to fulfil Ai’s wish to save him by killing himself, which would stop everything and fulfill her wish of saving him.

The first time we see him, Hikaru seems really happy to see Ruby and talks so gently about her. He almost displays fatherly affection, complementing her beauty and pointing out that she’s his and Ai’s daughter. Why would he compliment Ruby and emphasise that she’s his daughter? It’s strangely personal for someone who may want to kill her. Coupled that he knew Ruby’s name and done the interviews, it seems that Hikaru kept tabs on his children and wants to connect with them in some way.

Hikaru feels tender, when he offers the umbrella in chapter 146. [Just like Seijuro is making me :((((( ] In that scene, he asks Ruby if everything is okay and asks permission to share his umbrella. Why is he so polite? He admits to having thought about the question if something is right for a long time, which we see in the movie. He also expresses curiosity in Ruby’s true wish, what she wants to do and become, suggesting that he does care about her aspirations. He then compliments Ruby again and voices that Ruby’s life may be even more important than Ai’s. Hikaru seems sincere here and combined with at least one white star in his eyes, makes me really confused about his intentions. Does this white star signify a desire to love Ruby at that moment? Does he feel hope for the future? There is way too much room for multiple interpretations, which makes me inconclusive about his true intentions here, but I think it’s something positive.

Hikaru’s intentions grow even more confusing given that he knows both Nino and Akane are watching. Did he just want to touch Ruby or did he intend for Akane to intervene? Knowing Nino was there, perhaps he wanted her to hear Ruby’s ambition to surpass Ai, which might spur Nino to act on his behalf. However, if this was his goal, it’s odd that he has a white star. This contradiction suggests that, despite there being potential for manipulating Nino, Hikaru might still feel love for his children. If something were to happen to them, he would feel intense guilt, which he equates with closeness to Ai.

It’s really interesting if Ruby was a foil to him, much like Aqua. When Ruby displays a black star, her nature feels like her father’s: both have manipulated others, while keeping their hands clean. They both don’t fully seem to realise the harm in comparison to Aqua/Ai until later, with Ruby seeing herself as dirty because of it and Hikaru internalizing blame even for events he doesn’t have control over. Both characters also attach themselves to others for purpose (Aqua-Gorou/Ai). However, unlike Hikaru, I think Ruby has friends and family, that she made during the manga’s runtime, that can help her overcome this, but we don’t really see much of this in the manga yet.

In conclusion, I think his guilt keeps him tethered to Ai, but also to his children. I think so much about his character is still unclear, but that’s also what makes him fun to theorise about. What do you think?

Thank you for reading!

[0] [1] [intermezzo] [2]

[glossdebut]

if i did a weekly writing update with current word counts and sliiiiight teasers on what i have in progress + a small life update so y’all can see what kind of headspace i’m in, would that be helpful?

[littleblueberryartist]

You ever get emotional over the fact that Rick Riordan wrote Percy Jackson to create neurodivergent representation for his son because I don't think I will ever get over that

[safyresky]

Scrimbly Jacqueline 40/50: Mel and Jacqueline commit a felony; are caught and apprehended by the mutually agreed upon "hottest magibean alive"

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"Closed as well?" "So it would seem." "Damn! What is UP with that?! Why is every apothecary specializing in poisonous ingredients CLOSED?!?! Don't they know we have a guy to kill and also maybe even a whole ass cult, too?" "Apparently they didn't get the memo." "Oh! What about that one you and Lucy frequent?" "Beg pardon?" "You know! The apothecary with that lady you like—" "NO! Absolutely NOT. We will not be going there. God. Every time I go in there I leave absolutely mortified, and that's assuming I don't faint again." Jacqueline snorted, a hand quickly coming up and covering her mouth as Mel whipped around and glared, thunder rumbling in the distance. "Sorry, sorry! I just...AGAIN?!" "Well at least I am AWARE enough of my crush to faint about it." Jacqueline's shoulders fell as she hissed through clenched teeth. "Ouch. You cut deep, Mel. You cut real deep. It's cool though! I get it. Getting you to Lizzy to use your charm and good looks to score us some men-who-write-their-sevens-weird-ending poisons and then some is not plan A or B." "Or C or D and perhaps not even Z. Really? That was your plan?!" Jacqueline shrugged. "It was like, last ditch plan. I mean, the alternative is to wait but the longer we wait, the longer weird sevens guy is hitting up Luce and that simply won't do." "Absolutely not at all. God. Have you seen them? How he writes his sevens?" "YES! Jack showed me. It's so freaking WEIRD!" "Right? We simply cannot let this go on, I'm afraid. Hmm." Mel tapped her chin. "What to do, what to do..." "Okay. I've got one more idea," Jacqueline said, watching as Mel paced back and forth in a small circle, her skirt dripping a bit. Her brow was furrowed; she tapped her chin as she paced. "But I think you will like it even less." Mel stopped pacing. "Oh?" "Let's go see Chimera." Mel blanched. "Oh dear god. You want to go do what?!" "See Chimera! I mean, look, Mel. She's the poisons guy, right? You wanna get rid of someone, she's your go to." "You want me to go to someone objectively hotter than any other aforementioned apothecary to get the things we need to take care of this creep?" "She is pretty damn hot. I'd say like, top hottest magibeans for sure." "And what, you want to go and just knock on her door? Stop in for tea, a chat, and leave with a goodie bag of potions and poisons?" "Yes?" "No. Nope! Not at all. There is no way I'd survive that." "Well. You got me there. She is pretty terrifying. May actually kill us. Hmm. Okay, okay. Hear me out." "Oh, absolutely! Agreed." "Not what I meant but yeah, you're so right." "See? I'm already flubbing it up!" "Flubbing?" "Jacqueline!" "Sorry! Sorry. That's just a really fun word! I'm gonna steal that one. Flubbing. RIGHT! OKAY! Focusing." She took a deep breath in and squished her cheeks, taking a moment to compose herself. "Hear me out, Mel. What if we just...break and enter?" Mel looked visibly relieved. "Yes, yes. That I can do. I'll go fetch my harpoon and—" "Oh, no need! I think we can handle it sans harpoons." Winking, Jacqueline raised a glowing hand, wiggling her fingers. A conniving little smile spread across Mel's face as she lifted her own glowing hand in agreement, the pair of magibeans cackling into the night as they poofed, disappearing on the spot.

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Moments later, the pair of them stepped right over the walls with a snowy and watery assist. They landed on what looked to be plant free ground, the water pooling back into Mel's skirt as Jacqueline waved the snow onto hers, freezing it in place with a very brief clenched fist. Grinning, the pair high fived one another, sticking close as they wandered down the path. The deadly plants were gorgeous. Some of them stretched high above the pair, towering over the leafy poisonous plants. Poison ivy and oak twirled together, stinging nettle abound. The paths and gardens stretched on, beautiful deadly flowers dotting the greenery with blues and yellows and reds, some plants growing fruits and berry looking things that were, quite obviously, very poisonous. "Whoa." "Watch the nettle, Jacqueline." Jacqueline stepped back, keeping even closer to Mel. "Right, right. That's one of the little stingy bitches." "Quite stingy, actually. Now, let's see. Where did I put that list..." Mel patted herself up and down, reaching into her watery sleeves and letting out a little "A-ha!" as she pulled a slightly damp rolled up list out of the left one, unfurling it quickly with a deft flick of her wrist. "Right. Here's what we need to—" Mel looked up, finding herself face first in icicles and crunchy hair. "Jacqueline! A little warning next time you come to a dead stop—" "Uh..." Poking around Jacqueline's shoulder, Mel blanched. In front of them stood Chimera herself. She looked down at them (Blimey, she's tall, Mel thought), arms crossed, her face unamused. An ear twitched. Behind her, her snake tail poked around her, looking at the two of them in what may have been a perplexed way, or an annoyed way. "Dear lord. She's even hotter in person." "Mel!" "...I said that out loud, didn't I?" "You sure did." Jacqueline cleared her throat. "Hi! Chimera! Uh...fancy seeing you here?" She winced, scratching the back of her head. "Right. Well. I mean, it is your garden so..." She raised an eyebrow, hands moving to her hips. "Well, since Mel's being honest," (Mel herself colouring behind her snowy friend), "I may as well too." And, taking a very long, very deep breath in, Jacqueline launched full speed into the most rambling explanation possible. "So basically Mel and I need to kill a guy. He's been bothering Luce and he writes his sevens weird and she told us to not kill him but he writes his sevens weird, not to mention he's like, a HUGE creep. HUGE! Lucy was all "don't kill him he's just being nice" but Mel and I disagree. So we went hey, what about secret murder! Not as obvious murder? Lucy doesn't need to know, and BOOM! POISON! So off we fucked, but all the local places that have the poisonous shit we need were closed, so I suggested we come see you, but both Mel and I are super intimidated because you're like, one of the hottest magibeans we know of, so we thought it'd be easier to break in? To your garden? Of poisons?" "Is that so?" Mel and Jacqueline (the former still hiding behind the latter) shared a look between each other. A mutual shrug. Jacqueline turned back to Chimera. "Yeah, that about sums it up. He's really very creepy." "A grade-A creep," Mel added. "Who writes his sevens weird." "And basically STALKED the woman!" "So now we need to kill him." Chimera tilted her head. She let the two woman sweat for a bit before grinning. "You had me at kill a guy."

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So @lmelodie gave me this idea a HOT MINUTE ago and it ah, it has spiralled. It's one of three, y'all. This one was from LAST WEEK but between a visit home and the World's Slowest Cold, I wasn't able to post it proper until TODAY lmao.

I have also stolen @kscribbs's little guy ONCE AGAIN and she'll be hanging around for this lil trio of scrimbles once more, lol.

AND AS A BIG HUGE DISCLAIMER RE: THE LITTLE SMILEY SNIPPET: I HAVE 100% FUDGED WITH EVENTS OF MILLER'S LAW TO MAKE THIS SCENARIO WORK, AND I AM SURE BOTH MEL AND MERA MAY BE SLIGHTLY OOC, SO MY APOLOGIES FOR THAT. I HAD A LOT OF FUN WITH THIS, THOUGH, AND I HOPE YOU ALL DO/DID TOO. I AM HAVING A LOT OF FUN WITH THIS, TBH!

I just never considered the potential of these three? Hanging out? And then I did and. Well. Here we are!

Chimera was so fun to draw! I was staring at the sketch in awe after I finished it like "woah. I did pretty ok!"

I think she actually has stripes now? But I was using lmel's GORGEOUS art of the woman and neglected to cross check the recent Chimera post until AFTER the ink had dried so. SPOTS FOR NOW I SUPPOSE!

Anyway, enjoy! Stay healthy. Wash your hands, etc etc. It's like a bonafide swamp of sicknesses out there right now and I do NOT wish the World's Slowest Cold on ANYONE. It sucks. I thought I was better Monday, went to work Tuesday, came home and absolutely DIED. Been home since. Fingers crossed tomorrow is a healthy day! We're coming up on Turkey Day Weekend in Canada and I'd like to go see my family and drown myself in mashed potatoes without fucked up tastebuds 😎😎😎