#mcu clint has always been a meeeeeeh ok for me but at least his arc made sense

[jinnaidaisuke]

It’s been a week now since I saw Endgame but Steve’s and Tony’s ending still wrecks me 

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

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I’ve read an interview with the writers and I GET what they were trying to do. Tony goes from selfish to selfless while Seve goes from selfless to (allowing himself to be) selfish. I have come to realize that my disappointment and other strong emotions about the ending for both characters stems from the difference of pov about what their whole story was about

First Tony.

Tony despite everything wasn’t selfish before he became Iron Man. If he were Rhodey, Happy and Pepper wouldn’t have been his friends, his family that stuck with him before and after IM.

What he was, was naive and priveledged. He was a product of his enviroment and upbringing. He was sheltered. All those things don’t make him a bad person, they just make him a person. 

Tony’s story was always about responsibility and accountability.

He had to have that bomb blow up in his face because he had to acknowledge that he had been blind by choice and by matter of upbringing. That he bore responsibility not only by his actions alone but also by proxy by what he produced into the world because he had more power than the average joe. You know, with great power comes great responsibilty and all that. 

Tony had been naive and trusting and didn’t bother to take a second look himself even though there was probably reasonably evidence and doubt for years before the events of IM1.

But once the veil had been lifted there was no going back for Tony. No rest. His whole arc after that was about righting the wrongs, driven by guilt he took on more responsibilty than he needed to. He went overboard in a typical Tony Stark fashion and yeah he also caused other wrongs on his way because that’s his curse. His obsession.

I knew that his end would be death. I mean a lot of my opinion on Tony comes from comic books as well as the movies. And the one constant in both those universes is that Tony Stark will have to burn out before he stops. I had hoped with his family and everything that he finally realizes that there never will be a enough and that’s okay, that he gets to rest without having that synonymously mean death. Pepper knew, and she tried to stop him so many times, and so many times it seemed that he would listen but he wouldn’t be Tony Stark, a hero if he did. 

Next is Steve. 

Fucking Steve, man. Like while I can somehow make my peace with Tony’s dead Steve’s ending just totally misses the point of his arc for me.

Steve’s story has always been about loss. 

The unimaginable loss of family, friends, lovers, home. Of everything that we tell ourselves that we can’t live without.

His story isn’t only about loss but the life after it. Seve loses absolutely everything,. And it sucks and it makes sense that he wants nothing more than to go back, he has so many regrets. But life doesn’t work that way. There are some things that are forever lost.

Steve’s story is about overcoming the crippling depression that comes with it, about accepting the unacceptable, about being brave enough to try again, to let people get close again and in turn to reach back. It’s about soldiering on. 

About creating something new, about not only surviving but living again. Finding joy in something new. It doesn’t mean that he had to forget his past, it’s honouring what was and embracing the new. 

So the fact that all this, his new family and friends, the new chance he has with someone of his old family, his new life….. everything what TWS had been  about… for Steve to throw that all out the window in order to chase a dream, a fantasy feels wrong. We have been shown again and again how it’s just that. A dream, a dangerous dream to be wrapped into. That it’s an obsession that he has to overcome, that he was overcoming.

Steve Rogers doesn’t stop, he always goes forward. That’s like his thing.  And his own curse, complementary to Tony’s. His going back goes against everything that IS Steve Rogers.

What makes him a hero.

It isn’t that I don’t want Steve to be happy, the guy deserves to get back what he lost. But it never has been about deserving. People don’t get what they deserve and Steve knows this.

So to say I am disappointed is an understatement.

(I don’t even want to go into the problems I see with the plot and his descision to either create an alternative timeline that we have been explicitly warned against… which also doesn’t make sense that Old Steve would/could appear in the prime timeline to hand over his shield… Or him always having been Peggy’s husband, not fucking up the timeline but also just STANDING BY everything that he knows will happen in order to again not fuck it up. And that would even make less sense because Steve Rogers hasn’t stayed put once in his life and thats the tea)