#mayor daddy dearest
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"Take a seat, and have a meal. Then we'll sing to seal this deal."
Establishing a new town on the west coast during the gold rush, the Dearest family are known to help others start a new life no matter what your past was. There are rumours of them being devils or demons that make deals to do so however. Some say those who don't keep their end of the bargain have lost their souls, or end up in the jaws of Coyotes outside of town. No one has saw them looking like fiends though. Maybe you just had one drink too many, friend.
#fnf#friday night funkin#fnf au#fnf the musical trail#mayor daddy dearest#saloon singer mommy mearest#deputy girlfriend#dracomeir's art
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Degrees of Lewdity Masterlist
Avery The Businessperson
Revenge (Getting Revenge against Avery for dumping you)
Clingy (Avery becoming clingy)
New Stepdad- (Avery as a stepdad)
Avery's Bitch (Picking out his new dog!reader; Hijacked Post)
Welcome to Avery's Hunt For His Next Sugar Baby (Picking out his sugar baby; Hijacked Post)
Bailey The Caretaker
Simmering- (Lazy Sex with Bailey)
Bailey Black and Blues (Blood play with Bailey)
Things That Go Bump In The Night (Somnophilia with Bailey)
Daddy Dearest (Bailey somnophilia and incest)
Briar The Brothel Owner
Briar, You Dick (PC gets assaulted and Briar fixes their makeup)
His Rings (Briar Hand Kink)
Eden The Hunter
Trapped- (PC caught in Eden’s Snare)
Withered White Roses In The Attic (Classmate! Eden being worse than usual)
Innocent Crush (Eden struggling with a crush on male!reader)
Bitching an Alpha (Eden the alpha bitches a fellow alpha)
Harper The Doctor
Doctor, Doctor, I... I forgot what I'm here for. (Harper hypnotizing and conditioning PC)
The Nasty Next Door (Harper as the Town Yandere)
The Doctor's Needs (Harper being a worse doctor more than ever)
Horny Harper the Hypnotist (Hijacked Post)
New Year's Kiss With Harper
Harper creeping on Hermaphrodite Reader Letter
Kylar The Loner
Peeking Pervert- (Kylar tries to rescue his notebook, just to get an eyeful of his worst nightmare, featuring Whitney.)
Chemist Kylar
Kylar's New Job (Kylar the masseuse)
Kylar Sexting
Kylar Stalker Letter- (Kylar being a nasty)
Kylar Creepy Omegaverse Letter- (Thirsting after Beta Reader)
Landry The Criminal
The Backrooms- (Landry x F!PC)
Leighton The Headteacher
Leighton’s Favourite Videos- (What he loves to watch)
Leighton Thoughts- (Headcannons for Boy toy Leighton)
Dilf Leighton Saga: (The Nanny, Breeding The Nanny)
Maid Service (Leighton finds his new favourite service)
Leighton Sexting
Head boy Leighton (the beginning)
Head boy Leighton and his pet
Introducing Head boy Leighton to your Parents(and the consequences)
Mason The Swim Teacher
The Itch- (Mason Chikan)
Scumbag Mason Thoughts
Prison Guards
Prison Guard Punishment- (Short thing about guards using you)
Method's Weakness (Get Caught riding methodical guard)
Quinn The Mayor
... Quinn tho (THANKS BESTOAN, NOW THAT'S A LAD I'D CLIMB)
Quinn thought- (Based off of bestoan's picture!)
General Quinn Thirst
Remy The Farmer
Liberties- (Remy taking liberties with Wren’s Partner)
Dearest Step-Daddy (Remy adopting PC as revenge)
Remy's Journal (Remy x Cowboy!PC)
River the Maths Teacher
The Pup's Revenge (Dog boy! Reader revenge on River)
Whitney The Bully
Whitney’s Oral Fixation (General Thoughts)
Whitney’s Punishment (Whitney punishing the reader for working at the brothel)
Tattoo Artist Whitney
Sloppy Sunday (Whitney wakes up with you in his bed)
Jock Whitney- (Jock Whitney thoughts with outcast/cheerleader reader)
You are what you smoke… Fag (Whitney struggling with gay feelings)
Wren The Smuggler
Wren the Terrible Roommate
Wren’s Unionizing Perks (Wren getting to fuck the boss' spouse)
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Weird question but how rich are these kids? Damon said that Wills family is like one of the Wealthiest in country (still don't know what his parents are doing for a living but apparently they travel around for business) they own a set of luxury cars to choose from and have their own private helicopter which Will used to ship Alex around, and live in a gigantic ass mansion up a hill with maids and shit, Will apparently can also afford to buy the Fane mansion without problem first thing after marrying Emory even though he didn't have a proper job. Ricka basically is the heiress of Tiffany & Co a diamond Empire. Michael even outside his daddy dearest is making bank as an NBA player who owns a private yacht and buys his fiance a quarter of a million necklace for his own pleasure. Oh and and they all own Graymor Christiane which I think is a real estate company and operate some luxury resort together, for real are they all billionaires or what?
Which family do you think is the Wealthiest? For me it had all always been a toss-up between the Graysons and the Fanes given what Damon said about them and what we see on the sidelines.
short answer: they're stupid rich
--
long answer:
We're not really supposed to know because giving any kind of numbers puts a limit on what they can realistically do. But....
The Fane's, Crist's, Torrance's, and Grayson's are probably high millions into the billions?
The Fane's are the wealthiest family in Thunder Bay, and Rika has come into her inheritance and the diamond business.
As for the Grayson's, Damon says that they are one of the wealthiest families in the country, so possibly right behind the Fanes? Will says A.P. wasn’t wealthy like the rest of his peers in high school. Most likely, he married rich in college using his charm and associations, and then went into business and politics. While his grandfather is a sitting Senator, we don’t know what Will’s parents do, if they work or what sort of businesses they run. However, his parent's or grandfather have no intention of cutting Will off of his inheritance, and are probably waiting for him to become more responsible.
Gabriel Torrance and Evans Crist made no attempts to conceal they were using unethical methods to acquire large amounts of money. Both Torrance's and Crist's are involved in real estate, while the Torrance's are also involved with owning media outlets and organized crime. Damon has been disinherited, and it was given to Banks, while Michael is still waiting on his. Now that he is the sole heir, he will inherit everything.
The Moris' I would say are mid-millions. We know that Kai's mother walked away from an inheritance for love, and his father didn't come from money. They had to build themselves up from the bottom. Kai's father is shown to have high moral standards, so I doubt he's cheating his way to the top, but he's still got some power.
The Ashbys' are probably mid millions. I'm not sure what her father did outside of being Mayor, but he also wasn't that honorable, having stolen money from Rika's father. Whatever they had, it was enough for Damon to go after and still be content with his lot in life.
At least that's what I assume. I could be completely off. Maybe they're all billionaires because why not? Who's really counting?
The Scott's are different. We know that Emory's grandfather built their house in the 1930s, so they own it as an asset. While the house itself might not be of much value, depending on how well Martin maintained it, given it's location it could easily be worth the higher hundred-thousands. Martin's police salary wouldn't have been much while Emory was in school, since he was a patrol officer. Additionally, he paid a part of her tuition, so he probably wasn't saving a huge amount. We also know Emory's inheritance was enough to put her through four years of school if she chose to use it, which is not a small amount. (Edit: Emory's inheritance was about $37,500; she would have needed to work very hard to make that stretch over 4 years to have her grandmother in a nursing home full-time. And since that wouldn't have lasted very long, she'd need to find a job soon after graduating. Even then, a good portion of her paycheck would have gone to her grandmother's nursing home. This girl hustled.)
How much money the Scott's have would depend greatly on how much insurance money they received after their parent's death, if her parents had life insurance, how much money her grandparents had for them to inherit, and what they're actual expenses were living in a small but affluent town. They weren't as rich as the other families, but they weren't dirt poor either.
But you're right, anon. Together they own a real estate company that runs a luxury resort, Coldfire Inn. Will owns Coldfield. Damon and Emory own equal shares of a design firm. Winter has her humanitarian efforts and tours as a performer. Rika is mayor, which comes with a nice salary (though she hardly needs it, and all things considered, is probably her least profit endeavor.) Banks has Gabriel's empire, and Kai owns Sensou. If they weren't billionaires at the start, they're probably pretty close now.
As always, new thoughts are welcome!
edited for spelling and grammar. removed gifs, and as new information connects.
#asked and answered#devil's night series#the horsemen of devil's night#the women of devil's night#ko's headcanons#asked and answered 23
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IT'S A WONDERFUL KNIFE (2023)
Clever wordplay to reuse the title and plot of It’s a Wonderful Life in such a way. They got a little messy with the magic and the plot twisting at the end but it was a pretty fun movie all around. Spunky teens learn the true meaning of Christmas (blood and gore) thanks to an evil angel, it is a wild ride for sure.
⭐⭐⭐.5
Trigger Warning Suicidal Ideations
I thought our killer was going to be a white knight, a Christmas Avenger, but the first person he kills is the grandpa who doesn’t want to sell his land! Oh, ‘cause it is the evil mayor, this is turning into a Scooby Doo caper, he even kills the granddaughter so the land can’t go to her! Her best friend is gonna get some retribution in frying the mayor with a car battery but that won’t bring the granddaughter back. Skip forward a year and everyone is trying to move past it except the best friend because she almost died in the massacre which is a very fair reason to be grumpy!
Winnie (the best friend) is having a tough time adjusting and the people around her are NOT making it easier so she makes a wish about never having existed and POOF! The Angel Killer as he is so affectionately named is back in business killing and killing because Winifred was never there to stop him. His kill count went from about five (5) to 25. She attempts to go to her folks for help but she was never born so they don’t know her and besides, they are wrecked with grief because their only son was killed by the Angel since Winnie wasn’t there to save him.
Winnie befriends the school weirdo who is totally game for a mystical, magical adventure which is very true of weirdos, I can confirm we LOVE a quest. Anyway, Bernie is Winnie's new friend and she has access to the local cinema which is boss as hell and they need to escape there because the killer comes for them that night! Ah! In the morning they attempt Winnie’s family again and it only makes her father more angry and we find out the twist which is that her daddy went baddie after his only son died and killed for his boss I guess? Weak, I mean, wack. He kills the alternate universe mama and goes after the aunt (played by Scream Queen Katharine Isabelle) who is now on our side but dies very quickly.
The girls are able to best daddy dearest but this isn’t enough to make the magic aurora stronger for Winnie’s wish so they need to also kill the original Angel killer who is the Mayor and he has the town under a magic spell of sorts that breaks when he gets murdered by Bernie (which was pretty badass of her). Then the aurora is strong enough and Winnie wishes away but not before the girls share a cute kiss. Waking up in her bedroom, Winnie is happy to find her family the way it was left before her original wish, alive. She remembers Bernie all alone and rushes to her rescue and magically Bernie remembers everything! Okay.
The movie really fell apart near the end, it had magic that was selective, the plot twist I thought was weak, and just in general threw in that Winnie and Bernie were in love instead of best friends which I thought was cute but I love a BFF storyline (sue me).
#I#It's a wonderful knife#Its a wonderful knife#3.5 stars#horror comedy review#cassandra naud#jessica mcleod#jane widdop#justin long#katharine isabelle#aiden howard#joel mchale#zenia marshall#sean depner#erin boyes#oscar chark#sydney scotia#wiliam b davis#jude wilson#dimitri vegas#thomas nicholson#hana destiny huggins#grace vukovic#horror comedy#supernatural review#horror review#horror#comedy#horror movies#horror movie review
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Rachel still wasn’t convinced on whether she should believe Athena about Dr. Two Brains since the man has shown great love and care towards Henry and Becky. Still, that blasted article haunted her mind. “Maybe I can call Lucy tomorrow and ask her for advice.” Rachel spoke quietly to herself. She can also ask her sister-in-law if she has any idea why Adrian Barton is here or if she can shed some light on his mysterious arrangement with the mayor. Henry wiped away the green slime from his mouth and proceeded to change into a new set of clothes before going to see Amber. Henry too was in deep thought over what happened ever since he came to America. First was Hyde’s unsettling encounter with Lucian Bennett, then that strange interaction with Adrian Barton, and finally Two Brains’ question for Hyde. Henry was most worried and concerned for his boyfriend. Something was eating at him and it wasn’t just what happened to Wordgirl that day. It apparently involved a secret the mouse man was keeping from his daughter. Of course it wasn’t Henry’s business as to what was going on between Two Brains and his daughter. Though he couldn’t help being curious. What secrets could Two Brains possibly keep from his own child. Henry already figured he knows about her being Wordgirl. Did it perhaps have something to do with her birth mother? Henry didn’t know much about what happened, only that Teresa had to leave them when Becky was a newborn for some reason. Henry sighed and then pulled out his phone. Maybe he can just leave him a text, letting him know he was just thinking about him. Henry typed out, ‘Hello dearest. Just wanted to check how you were doing.’, and then hit send. Henry put the phone back in his pocket and proceeded to check on his daughter. He was surprised to still see her up since Rachel said they had a long day. “Hello sweetheart.” Henry greeted his child in a fond tone. Amber looked up from her toys that she was playing with. “Daddy!” Amber greeted with a smile as she raced up to him and hugged her father. Henry smiled and picked up his daughter. “So what is me sweet girl still doing up? Ah thought ye be in bed by now since Rachel told me ye and her had a long day.” Henry spoke in a teasing tone. Amber gave her father a frown. “I couldn’t sleep daddy. I had to make sure Miss Rachel and our home were safe.” Henry’s warm expression quickly morphed into one of concern. “What do ye mean Amber?” Henry quickly asked. Amber simply gave him a shrug. “I don’t know. I thought someone was hunting us, but they were doing a terrible job of it. They didn’t follow us home and they aren’t around. I would have sensed them if they were.” Amber spoke with a confident tone. Henry and Hyde both became panicked and angry at what Amber had said. Someone was stalking their best friend and daughter! ‘It has to be that Lucian bloke! That creep must have been the one stalking Rachel and our wee pup!’ Hyde growled. Henry pondered Hyde’s theory. It did seem plausible as neither of them had seen Lucian ever since the pub. Henry wondered why Rachel didn’t say anything, though he assumed she wasn’t aware. Despite having a criminal underground leader as a sister-in-law, Rachel was still human so it was highly possible she wasn’t aware of anyone following her unlike Amber with her heightened werewolf senses. Rachel was likely asleep now so Henry would have to ask her later if she felt like anyone was stalking her and Amber yesterday. “Daddy, can I sleep in your room tonight?” Amber asked her father in a small tone. Henry smiled and nodded. “Of course me sweet pup. Ah will get some spare blankets and pillows and ye and ah can have a sleepover. Does that sound good?” Amber’s face lit up as she nodded excitedly. Henry placed her down and the little girl proceeded to gather pillows, blankets, and a few stuffed animals for the sleepover. Henry gave a fond smile at his daughter’s bright energy. He then decided to look at his phone to see if Two Brains replied back. Henry frowned when he saw that his message still went unread. @unhingedexperimenter
Though someone this Miss Ito did know Henry Jekyll. Did his brother's new boyfriend get this woman to look into him? If so, why didn't this man just ask Dr.Two-Brains about himself? This raised more questions than it answered. Maybe Henry didn't have the courage to look into his brother after he gave him a little 'friendly' talk. Yet the thinly veiled threats Victor had made shouldn't have been enough to get the teacher looking into Dr.Two-Brains. There was also the fact that Henry had no idea that Victor could find out who was hacking. Perhaps the man was intelligent enough to have the heat on someone else just in case they were found out, but he didn't seem like the type to do so. Especially to someone he had entrusted The Society to. Victor was going to have to get a few agents to take a little trip to check out why they decided to hack like they did. Maybe Robert Lanyon had someone to do with Miss Itos hacking. It would be expected when the man's father had been murdered. Perhaps he wanted to make sure that Henry was safe. Maybe this man was protecting Henry from someone who was threatening him. This could've had the culprit retaliate against the doctor by going after Henry or Robert could be responsible for his own father's murder and for Mr. Carew's attempted murder. The reason both Mr. Hyde and Henry left could be because Robert was threatening one and framing the other. Victor felt a headache coming on. For now, he was going to find out exactly where Robert was. If he wanted to take over The Society, he would've easily done so. Yet he didn't, instead only oversaw important business. He couldn't scratch any of his theories out just yet. He didn't know what was going on, but he was going to find out. He didn't realize that Eris had finally gotten home. He didn't notice the sound of the apartment door opening and closing. “Victor, are you okay? You look like you're stressed about something.” He expressed his concern, brows furrowed. “Eris! I'm fine. I was just overthinking some things.” Eris went over to Victor and placed a kiss on his temple. “Get some rest, my sweet. You'll be able to figure things out better with fresh eyes.” Victor smiled at his boyfriend. “You're right. I'll take a nap. If you'll join me.” Eris smiled at that. He found Victor endearing. The toymaker closed his laptop. Meanwhile in another part of the city, two people were arguing. “Must you stalk these people? I would rather not have the police sniffing around if they take legal action.” The woman shook her head. “It is necessary. I must save that girl from that horrid man. Who knows what he could do to them. I'm doing what is right.” The blond man shook his head. “You admitted that you were interested in our plan.” Calvin frowned at that. “I didn't do anything too crazy. I promise.” Athena muttered under her breath. Athena began to pace a bit. She wanted Dr.Two-Brains to break and admit who he is. “You're making me dizzy, cousin.”
Athena gave a weak glare towards Calvin's rudeness. "You know I can't help it. I haven't been the same after what that demon did to me!" Athena snapped back. Calvin merely huffed. Deep down, he couldn't help but feel some intimidation from the mouse man, especially when he knew what that abomination was capable of. At first, Calvin was shocked to hear what the man did to his cousin. He had always viewed Steven, or Gene, or whatever it called himself, as a sniveling worm with goody moral ethics. He never thought that the man was capable of doing something that heinous, even with his paternal instincts heightened. Things made much more sense to Calvin once he learned of his former coworker's family background. "Very well. Continue with your plans. I have other matters to attend to." Calvin exclaimed in a haughty tone, waving off Athena's anger. Athena gave him a suspicious look. "What are you planning that is more important than my mission?" She inquired. "Well why you have been playing vigilante stalker to a babysitter and her charge, I have been looking into the reason for the Mad Science League's sudden movement here." Calvin explained. Athena looked surprised at that. "Adrian Barton is here?" The B.E.A.W labs' leader has expressed interest in the mysterious Mad Science League. A small group of scientists lead by a self proclaimed immortal man whose made it his mission to fight against tyranny and corruption of the higher classes. Adrian Barton and his associates had proven too slippery for capture due to the man's chaotic and unpredictable movements. Athena was curious and confused as to why he came here of all places. "We don't know why he is here or what business he has, but for some reason he has made himself more open in public though he has maintained a cautious guard. I last saw him talking with Professor Doohickey, though I highly doubt the reason he came to this city was to help the man's predicament." Calvin answered as if he seemed to understand what his cousin was thinking. "Do you think it has something to do with the murder of Mr. Hastie Lanyon?" Athena asked as she recalled hearing about the murder. Calvin shook his head. "I doubt Barton was behind that. He has a clear hatred for the rich and elite, but he would have been more subtle in killing that man, actually making it look like a robbery in progress that went bad. There is another reason why Mr. Barton is here. One in which I intend to find out. So hopefully your antics won't interfere in my mission. Good day Athena." Soon Calvin walked away, leaving the deranged woman to her own thoughts and delusions. "Blimey! Those cleaners know how to clean out goop stains. It looks brand new." Hyde exclaimed in a joyous tone once he received his outfit from Rachel. "Yep. It appears people getting their clothes ruined by goop is a common occurrence around here. So they developed a new way to remove the stains and residue even thought it takes a lot of time. It's definitely well worth it. I must say." Rachel replied with agreement. Hyde ginned widely at his clean outfit. He then looked back towards Rachel. "So, anything happened while ah was gone?" Hyde inquired. Rachel quickly shook her head. "Not really. Like I said, we waited a long time at the cleaners. Also Wordgirl showed up trying to stop a robbery caused by Lady Redundant Woman. She gave a wave to Amber before she flew off. Amber got a little fussy on the way home, but it was likely due to us being out for so long. She's fine now." Rachel explained. Hyde nodded but the usually grinning blonde had a serious expression as he thought back to what happened and what Whiskers admitted to him. "Did Wordgirl seem okay to ye?" Hyde inquired. Rachel looked confused by his question and expression. "She seemed alright to me. Why do you ask?" Rachel was surprised to hear Hyde express genuine concern for anyone that wasn't Amber, herself, or one of the lodgers. Hyde let out a sigh and proceeded to explain what happened today with Two Brains and his sister. @unhingedexperimenter
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gossip girl au
gossip girl here, looks like our favorite incestuous group has returned from their summer homes and private islands and the tips have been rolling in, so many pictures of our favorite.
caroline forbes we see you no need to hide under shades. how was the summer fling with tyler? done pinning over stefan already?
our girl next door smiling so bright. maybe the exes are back together? now elena please don’t try to hide it… my spies always find out.
our resident party boy. oh how’ve we missed you. Too quiet are the days since your last party. pretty please tell us if rebekah is doing well, coke is such a nasty habit. lets hope her nose remains clean this year.
last but not least, welcome back B. some may have forgotten but our dear Bonnie was once the belle of the city, that is until her mother went to jail for embezzling. nut daddy dearest is back running for mayor.. how will old friends react to this return? I seem to remember how cosy kol and bonnie were. but I don’t think davina wants anyone remembering . And wasn’t the last citing of Bonnie when she was caught kissing our prince charming, stefan salvatore? Some say he still thinks about it.
the friend group might be on it’s last leg with the lies and the backstabbing but I fear Bonnie’s return just may break the camels back. no way will caroline give up her hard earned spotlight, and how could elena forgive the best friend that didn’t even come to her parents funeral? and even though it was before they dated can elena welcome her back knowing her prince charming might still hold a torch for bonnie?
Only time will tell with this group. Everyone take cover as we head into an explosive school year.
#tvd au#bonnie bennett#kol mikaelson#rebekah mikaelson#elena gilbert#caroline forbes#kennett#stefonnie#bonnie x stefan#kol x bonnie#so many love triangles or squares really#sorry gossip girl is trash but i love mess#i could definitely see a klonnie affair happening#kai parker#kai would naturally be the dope dealer in the school and lets just say school is hard and bonnie would need his services from time to time#and if they end up hooking up in the bathroom so what#its just really bonnie being a bad friend but meaning well.#it would be oc.. but who cares#theres really no endgame in mind#just to clarify i am not writing this.#i have papers for school#and#the waiting years#to finish and some one shots for other bonnie ships#this would need time i don’t have so enough this aesthetic and this narration#anti tvdu#anti julie plec#stelena x steroline but it wouldn’t be focused on much just used for mess#this fic is just lets see how many times bonnie can be with a man she isn’t supposed to be with#honestly thats the summary for tvd for elena and caroline and i want it for bonnie
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Finally gonna post about the Pico's School PSG AU I came up with during early July. Would've posted about it sooner if it wasn't for me worrying about being cringe. Mainly came up with this cause I thought the vulgar humor fit the Pico franchise well. (also haven't watched the show so most of the info I got was from the wiki).
The premise is mostly the same without all the weird stuff. Philadelphia is like Daten City (which is located on the fault line between Heaven and Hell, making it an easy target of demons and ghosts and whatnot). The three titular angels (Pico, Nene, and Darnell) have been kicked out of heaven and are tasked with protecting Philly from the evil ghosts and need a certain amount of Heaven Coins to make it back to Heaven. Tom Fulp takes the place of Judgement for this and usually is the one to give them their missions.
About the demons in this, Cassandra is the leader of Hanzou, Alucard, and Cyril. Basically their goals are to have Cassandra take over both Heaven and Earth to impose her so called rules onto them. Cassandra also wishes to awaken her true power to accomplish the first goal (basically her penilain form).
As for BF and GF, Boyfriend was Pico's bf for the first couple months the angels were on Earth, and now they're exes that are still on good terms. Girlfriend meanwhile was once part of Cassandra's team due to her immense power, but got kicked out of the team and Hell itself because she was too chaotic and "a bimbo".
Have some silly little edits I made. Haven't decided on the look for the angel/demon transformation outfits yet. (Made versions of the demon characters with both skin tones I think fit them well and the skin tone used for Scanty and Kneesocks)
Some weapon descriptions and whatnot
The thing that differentiates Pico's Squad and the Demon Squad is that the former has better teamwork than the latter. This is shown off by how Pico, Nene, and Darnell sometimes combine their weapons.
Some other misc information:
Hanzou can combine the katanas into a giant anime sword Cloud Strife Style named "Super Ultra Mega Angel Destroyer X".
I have this idea that GF's weapon is a chainsaw. As for what part of her clothes is, I'll explain it in another post.
Alucard's the only one of the Demon Squad to have telekinesis, even if it's kinda weak. The Double Golden Levitators help his powers to get stronger.
Daddy Dearest and Mommy Mearest might either be the mayor or some other important figure in the city. They moved out of Hell to be there for their daughter but are really over protective of her.
Darnell can use the fire of Low Blow to draw on surfaces with lighter fluid and a click of the lighter can ignite it into flames.
(Silly little doodle I made)
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FNF: Employer!Reader Headcanons
(The Reader is basically the same as the Auditor from Madness Combat but covers the City FNF takes place in and handles the city’s affairs, basically the Mayor but with the same powers as The Employers)
General HCs:
*They oversee the city in it’s entirety, through cameras or via their agents.
*They are the one who placed the law that discourse of any magnitude must be settled through the medium of song, which help garner the city’s reputation as the Music Capital of the world.
*They don’t normally interfere with the goings-on of the civilians, so long as things are peaceful they are very much hands off.
FNF Cast:
Boyfriend/Keith:
*He hardly amounted as a blip on their radar when he first started. When your city is filled with both famous and would be musicians, you can’t really be expected to know every little thing about every would be raising star.
*That was the case until he started dating the daughter of one of the biggest stars the city had ever seen, Luis Dearest’s only kid Cherry Dearest.
*After they officially started dating was when things got interesting. While most arguments amounted to little more than a few bars and disses. Luis went and challenged the kid to an actual Funk Fight.
*To say it interested you would be an understatement, Luis had been retired for awhile at that point, but the influence he held over the city rivaled your own. He drew a crowd for their official fight.
*Keith wouldn’t have been that interesting to you had he lost, but he didn’t. 3 rounds and 3 wins cemented Keith as one to watch.
*You just wish he’d stop getting into such trouble.
Girlfriend/Cherry:
*You had actually been invited to her first birthday party. Having known her since she was practically born. Comes from having a close relationship with her parents.
*You know she wasn’t the brightest bulb, but she had a good heart, and decent taste in boyfriends, despite most of them going missing.
*Though her rather absentminded nature had led her to need to be under constant surveillance due to the city’s more nasty individuals.
*She had the honor of seeing your powers up close and personal during a nasty encounter with one her father’s former managers. You still find it distasteful you had to resort to such measures.
Daddy Dearest/Luis:
*The man behind many of your headaches.
*You’ve known him since he was a young up and comers himself. And to say he was stubborn would be an understatement, a mountain was more moving than he was.
*Beyond needing to tether him to a lamppost so he’d leave you alone when he was younger, he had the talent to back up his pride.
*The fact that he was one of the few demons in your city at the time did sway you a small bit, enough to at least lend him some equipment to work with.
*He paid you back eventually, namely by making your city famous.
*But given the fact you are almost 100% sure that he’s “disappeared” most of his daughters boyfriends, he’s wearing that thanks thin.
*The efforts he goes to to achieve his goals is astounding and migraine inducing.
Mommy Meanest/Monica:
*Luis’s old flame and a quite headstrong woman.
*You hadn’t met her before their wedding, but afterwards the two of you kept in contact.
*The two of them almost had a rivalry, always seeing who could draw in the bigger crowd. Helpful to the city, but the clean up after the concerts was usually prolonged.
*The two of them were almost single handedly responsibly for the city becoming as prosperous as it is.
*You weren’t and still aren’t sure what caused the two of them to separate, but judging by the reconstruction that district of the city required it must have been something big.
*The two seem on more agreeable terms nowadays, even if it was on the basis of killing their daughter’s new flame.
Skid and Pump:
*Good kids, though their infatuation with Halloween or whatever Spooky Month was left you befuddled.
*You had actually been called in a few times to watch them for Skid’s mother Lila
*Though your powers were a lot more than fun tricks, and having to drop that zombie back in Nevada before either of them realized it was real nearly gave you a heart attack, they were fairly easy to please with some shadows.
*They didn’t even question how you looked beyond saying it was a really nice costume.
*Whenever Halloween rolls around they were the reason you opted to make it a big thing in the city.
Pico:
*If Luis is the number 1 cause of your headaches, Pico is a close second.
*Though guns weren’t banned in your city, and despite the fact you had an arsenal of your own, the amount of havoc he could reek with just an uzi was astounding.
*Knowing how things were for him during his schooling days helped you understand him slightly better, but he and you rarely saw eye to eye, which didn’t help cuz he never grew an inch and you preferred being tall.
*He’s tried gunning you down countless times, which never worked.
*He’s not a bad kid, but if you had hair he’d be giving you grey ones.
Senpai/Spirit:
*Though to you he’s near unrecognizable, you knew the Spirit.
*He was once one of the few demons in the city, and Luis’s constant bully.
*You weren’t sure what happened to him, or any of the other demon’s beyond Luis’s family as they went missing not long after Luis came back famous.
* While you and him weren’t friends, you had a strict “No Locking People In Dating Sims” Policy, especially after the Doki Doki incident.
*As for Senpai, poor kid couldn’t even remember his actual name. If you had to hazard a guess he was one of Cherry’s old boyfriends. Luis must’ve wanted to deal with him but was too bored or lazy to come up with a new way to deal with someone he didn’t like.
*The two of them are currently still in the game but in your office as Cherry dropped them off after they escaped the game themselves.
*You’ll get around to letting them out eventually. If your brother could warp reality you could too.
Tankman:
*Not someone you are friends with. Needing to hurl him and his army across several postal codes was getting tiresome whenever they decided to try and visit the city.
*It wasn’t anything personal, beyond the last time requiring some serious renovations to deal with the damage they left behind.
*Though he and his were the only ones who managed to get back from you dropping them off back home in Nevada so you had to give him that.
*He didn’t shy away from open warfare with you, though what he was used to dealing with and what you were used to dealing with, were on two different levels.
(I only did this because I’ve been on a Madness Combat kick lately. But if anyone wants to request headcanons or the like for the Mod side of FNF shoot em my way and I’ll do my best.)
#fnf#friday night funkin#skid and pump#pico#daddy dearest#madness combat#mommy meanest#senpai#tankman#x reader#headcanons
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(TW: flashing lights for the first gif)
“$7,96? Come on man, you can’t always keep the prices rising!” Isak Walsh, called Fog by most people, groaned and raised his hands in the air. Barry just shrugged it off. “I gotta make a living somehow. Get over it or fuck off. Stop wasting my fucking time, Walsh.” The Brit sighed, as he pulled out the dollars from his pocket. “Oi. You know something about a party this weekend?” A sharp smile appeared on Barry’s lips. “Make it $12 and I’ll tell you.”
Fog groaned, but he payed the price nevertheless.
Later that day he texted his boys. He couldn’t wait to kill the weed with Zombie.
Jessamine “Jess” Thompson threw the best parties in town. Luckily Fog was occasionally hooking up with her, they both benefit from their fling and they’re okay with keeping it casual. Jess didn’t care about Fog’s status (aka basically being poor compared to herself) he was just another pretty face she liked to devour and he was a funny guy, so she didn’t mind inviting him and his friend to her parties from time to time. They wouldn’t call themselves friends but they got along fine, even out of the bedroom. So when he asked her about her party (after hearing from Barry that there would be one) she simply said yes on the premise of a night together.
Jamie sat on the kitchen counter, Sierra Delacruz between his spread legs and her lips dangerously close to his own, as he saw Rafe Cameron walking into the house. The surfer hadn’t thought much about their last encounter, mostly because he thought he wouldn’t meet him again this soon. Sure, their hometown wasn’t very large and there could be possible spots to meet, but most of the spots where Jamie hung out (alone or with his friends) weren’t that popular for rich and wealthy people.
But they were in kook territory now, thanks to Fog’s connections.
There could’ve been a light chance that Rafe Cameron would enter the party as well. And actually seeing him here confirmed Jamie’s suspicion that he was a college dropout. It was neither the time for spring break nor other holidays, it was the middle of the semester.
And yet here he was.
Jamie got a fair share of Rafe’s temper and impulsiveness (he learned the hard way) firsthand, so it wouldn’t actually surprise the surfer if Rafe would start a fight or make a scene, people like him didn’t care about their surroundings. But even stupid dumbasses like Rafe Cameron new better than starting a fight in the mayor’s house, especially when his dearest daughter was the host. Daddy Cameron probably would beat the shit out of him if he acts so reckless in public and destroy possible powerful connections with his actions. Hypothetically speaking.
Jamie didn’t know about their family dynamics (he also didn’t gave a flying fuck) but the Cameron’s didn’t seem like the happiest family from afar and given Rafe’s anger issues and problematic behaviour, there was seriously something clearly wrong with that guy.
Sierra hit on him continuously since last summer, she clearly didn’t get the message that Jamie wasn’t interested and kept on pestering him. She was a walking goddess, the swimmer couldn’t deny her beauty, but he hated her guts, her personality was very unpleasant and most times she just annoyed the fuck out of him. Right now though, he could take advantage of her interest in him, it would be a great opportunity to mess with Rafe’s head even more.
A devilish grin appeared on his lips. He didn’t know why he wanted to crawl under Rafe’s skin like that. For now, Jamie didn’t care, as long as it worked.
He had to wait for the right timing so his scheme could go as planned.
Rafe was near the kitchen
Now.
Jamie grabbed Sierra by her hips and pulled her closer, while his left hand disappeared in her long hair, tilting his head to the side and pressed his lips on hers, slowly closing his eyes for show. A pleased gasp left her plump lips but she eagerly kissed him back, wrapping her delicate arms around his neck and probably couldn’t believe her luck, since she finally got what she wanted for so long.
They shared a heated and passionate kiss.
When Jamie opened his eyes, still kissing Sierra, he was met with two deep blue sapphires, angrily gazing at him. Before looking into Rafe Cameron’s eyes Jamie never realized that blue eyes could look like such hot fire. Until now.
To say he was absolutely delighted was a fucking understatement.
So he deepened their kiss, putting even more sensuality into it, while he kept looking at the kook.
“Come on, man, let’s play some beer pong and teach those losers a lesson!” Jamie heard Topper saying, while placing his hand on Rafe’s shoulder to get his attention.
Jamie closed his eyes again, tilting his head more to the side, the tip of his tongue teasingly licking over her glossy lips.
He could feel the kook’s burning gaze even through his closed eyes.
Good.
A make out session and a beer pong match later
Jamie chilled outside by the pool, he needed some fresh air. It was a pain to get rid of Sierra after they hooked up but somehow he managed. He hung out with his friends for a while, just enjoying the music and spending time with his lads, feeling Rafe’s burning glances on him every now and then. Electricity shot through his veins every time he noticed but he never returned his gaze, what probably pissed off the other male even more.
But he excused himself from his friends, he wanted to get the kook alone. The blond was dying to know what he’d do.
He knew he’d come. Of course he would come. After leaving him alone like a dumbass on the street.
Let’s get the real party started, Jamie thought, as rich boy was slowly walking over to him. He openly stared at Rafe, with his usual smug expression.
“Missed me, sweetheart?”
Luckily they were the only ones by the pool. He still had to figure out if it was for Jamie’s benefit or downfall.
But Rafe would make sure that Jamie get his answer soon enough, the surfer could tell.
Oh, the feeling of victory was so sweet, Jamie was completely delighted, as he pushed his lips even harder against the other’s. He wanted to bruise him – in the most enjoyable way. His lips moved on their own, ever so gentle but twice as intense, and Jamie let his thumb absently move over the back of Rafe’s hand, still holding his fist in his palm.
The kook completely stiffened. Then he hit Jamie in the face. Noticeable, but not really hard, his cheek didn’t even started throbbing. The swimmer kept on lying on the ground, gazing into the night sky for a moment, before Rafe’s pretty face appeared above him again, fist raised to the air. A handsome face indeed, Jamie understood the whispers of the girls in the hallways about the other now. But an attractive face didn’t changed the fact that he was a still an asshole. Jamie prepared for the next blow but it never came.
Aw, I broke him.
Rafe was completely lost, it seemed that he didn’t know what to do with himself.
And Jamie smiled cheekily.
“I’m not… that.” Well, too bad. What a damn waste. Jamie’s bisexual ass couldn’t relate. “Sounds like a you problem then. You‘re really missing out on something.”
“I’m gonna kill you.” Those words probably were a threat, but it was hard to feel any kind of fear or unease. Well, get in line then. A lot of people want to kill us. Nothing wrong with dude’s kissing dude’s, get over it already.
The blond got up from the ground, looking directly into Rafe’s eyes.
“Well, you have to catch me for that first.” The amount of smugness in Jamie’s face was overly confident. Rafe still kept his distance, like the surfer had a disease he was about to be infected with. Good.
Ever so slowly he walked over to him. Shoulders straightened, with his head held high, like Jamie owned that place. Right before Rafe he came to a stop, tardily bending forward, looking directly into his eyes. His eyes glowed with anger, resembling the blue flames of an unforgiving fire and Jamie was so fucking ready to get burned. “See you in your dreams, sweetheart.”
And since he apparently really had a death wish, he leaned forward again. Not to kiss, that move would be way too easy to read and Jamie enjoyed being unpredictable, but to gentle pat his cheek with his palm.
Then he quickly jumped on his skateboard, threw one last look over his shoulder to wink at Rafe provocatively, and drove into the night as fast as he could.
#unhlnged#jamie x rafe#i loved your post with my whole heart don’t worry xD#don’t ask me about weed prices I certainly don’t know lmao#my my who would’ve thought that jamie is such a KISSER asdfgh#that little shit#i hope you can work with that!
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meet ha juhwan !!
thirty-three ✖ political advisor aspirant ✖ magician reversed
hi hi, this is thi back again with another menace to society character who is less hyperactive than myunghwa! he grew up on the island and has been back for the last 3-4 years after a stint in the seoul political scene, advising for various campaigns. more information about him is under the cut as well as links to his profile, longer bio, and wanted connections! give this a like if you want to plot and i’ll come bother you with my rambles or feel free to message me if anything strikes your fancy!!
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his mom got pregnant at 20 but no one knows who the father is and it has been the point of speculation for a while this is actually his huge secret and he doesn’t know but daddy dearest is involved with the noraedol cult 👀
grew up in a family of modest means, overhearing neighbors whispering about how he is fatherless all the time
quickly realized the power of killing with kindness though lol this man has never been genuinely kind in his life and learned to get people to like him and forget everything else
learned how to deal with people, getting himself out of all sorts of trouble that he got into and somehow he got tangled up in student government (was student body president type deal) and that got him super interested with politics and the power and legitimacy that comes with it
was a pretty average student and went to a mid-tier university in seoul. never really paid too much attention to his studies and spent all his time volunteering and working for campaigns
he managed to work his way up the ranks and by the time he was 28, he got a big break working as one of the primary advisors on a team for a seoul mayoral candidate dealt with a fair share of elitism on his way up
his candidate won and he ended up coming back to gwasuwon because all the sketchy shit that politicians do finally caught up and juhwan was the scapegoat who ended up going to prison in his candidate’s stead
he got a reduced sentence with some strings pulled by the now mayor and had a pretty nice set up in prison too. once he got out he received a cushy golden parachute to stay out of their hair while the investigation continued
came home and initially thought he’d go back but stayed back after his grandfather’s health worsened and tried just living a lowkey and ordinary life, started working in city hall
BUT things started getting weird on the island and he saw an opportunity and that pesky habit of seeking power cropped back up
he’s a charming dude who likes to influence people without them necessarily knowing it but also is deeply insecure who has a lot of issues regarding his father and education that drives this insane quest for power in whatever form it comes
he really believes there is some weird supernatural stuff happening on the island and that the people in charge aren’t taking it as seriously as they should vote for him and he will make sure that nothing crazy happens unless it benefits him 🙊
profile | connections | bio
#gsw:intro#//did i just finish little women? yes.#did i fall in love with this man? also yes.#am i over it? clearly no.#i'll shut up now but yes pls give me all the plots!
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Going insane about an AU once again. I'm rolling around doing research about the gold rush, and remembering history lessons from a decade ago. I even put red dead redemption on my wish list since that’s a game I only watched someone play a bit, and I remember nothing about it except there’s cowboys. I’m even imagining so many scenarios where the cousins are arguing.
Oh, and uh… Here’s everyone’s role in this western: Onyx Coyotes Bandit Leader Pico Bandit (Explosives Expert) Darnell Bandit (Scout) Nene Scarlet Thorns Bandit Leader Senpai Mayor/Saloon Owner Daddy Dearest Saloon Singer Mommy Mearest Sheriff Boyfriend Deputy/Saloon Singer Girlfriend Cowboy Otis Shopkeeper Gibbons Orphan Skid Orphan Pump Pinkertons = Tankmen
#fnf#friday night funkin#pico's school#picos school#pico’s cousin#picos cousin#fnf au#fnf the musical trail#I still need a name for senpai because I’m not calling him that for this story’s setting lol#sorry lemon monster#you’re not in this story#antagonists in pico's school and pico's cousin ain't here either#I can't just make them the bad guys every time lol
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🚑💍👗
Thanks for the prompt!!!
🚑 was answered here! Rest under the cut:
💍 Would he do the proposing, or be proposed to?
Here’s the thing: when Billy and Steve first fall in love, they don’t think that they’ll ever be able to get married. They think the closest they’ll get is to be mutually committed and devoted to each other and live together in their own place. Basically be married to each other without the official paperwork.
And they do that! They’re able to get their own apartment together when Billy is 18 and Steve is 19. They’ve been madly in love since before they even officially started their relationship, so they have that covered.
In 1993, they’re living in New York City. They’ve been living there for awhile and it’s now their home. In 1993, Mayor David Dinkins signed an executive order that created a city-wide domestic partnership registry that granted *some* rights to unmarried couples—including same-sex couples.
There is no proposal. They have both said to each other, many times, that they are in this for the long haul. They are in this together forever, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer. So...they mutually make the decision to register as domestic partners. It’s not marriage, but it is something.
They don’t have a wedding. But they do have an “intimate celebration” with their close friends—Nancy, Jonathan, Robin, Eddie, Chrissy (fuck canon, both of them live, goddamnit), all the kids, plus Joyce and Hopper—and families (Steve’s parents, Susan, and Max). Plus the friends that Billy and Steve made in New York, who are all in the LGBTQ community. Plus Steve’s aunt and uncle and cousins on his mother’s side...plus Susan’s mother, sister, brother-in-law, and their two children, who had accepted Billy into their family from the start, when Susan married Neil (and, honestly, they always liked Billy more than they liked his father...).
The celebration is really lovely. Photos are taken, there’s music, Billy and Steve exchange rings (it’s just symbolic, okay?) their nearest and dearest make toasts to the couple...
Okay, fuck it—it’s a wedding. They have a wedding.
They get legally married in 2011, the week it becomes legal in New York. Again, there’s no proposal. There’s not even really a discussion about it beyond “is this day convenient for both of us to pick up the marriage license?”
They don’t need to propose to each other. They both know that they’re committed for life.
👗 Do you think when he was a little boy he’d play dress up in his mom’s dresses and shoes? If yes, how did both parents react?
Honestly...no. He put on some of her eyeshadow a couple of times, but he didn’t try on his mom’s dresses and shoes (if for no other reason than because they were way too big for him). He’s like...4 or 5 when he does this. Maybe even 6.
I feel like Billy was kind of androgynous as a kid? Like neither totally masculine nor feminine. Kind of a combination of both?
His mom is...not thrilled. She’s not angry and she doesn’t tell him that it’s wrong for boys to wear makeup, but she does tell him that he can’t tell anyone about this. And that he especially can never let his dad know. Ever. She tells him that it would be best if he stopped playing with makeup altogether.
So he stops. Because Mommy knows best and Daddy is very scary when he’s mad.
When he’s 12, he lets Max paint his nails with some cheap polish she got at a birthday party. They’re home alone and Neil wouldn’t be getting out of work until late that night.
But Neil comes home early and catches them in the ~disgusting~ act of putting paint on fingernails. He backhands Billy so hard it leaves a bruise. Billy knows that if Susan didn’t walk in the front door soon after Neil did, the beating he would have gotten would have been...memorable.
#asks#anon asks#harringrove#Billy Hargrove#steve harrington#Max Mayfield#neil hargrove#susan hargrove#billy hargrove's mother
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"Poor father dearest hasn't come home yet." The shadows warp before he materializes, walking around the back of the couch as he rotates a wrist in a 'woe is you' gesture before he gazes to the young child. A faint glisten of a phone as he shifts slightly, the shadows creeping behind him with his cloak.
"But of course something terrible could have happen. A father fighting so fiercely for his daughter to not have to suffer being in danger from others who view her differently. Bound to make quite a few enemies, especially with the mayor no less of course~"
He twists abruptly, an extended hand offered to the girl as he reveals himself fully, dull gold eyes staring upon her as the wicked simian grins, fangs on display in a smirk.
"But of course I could find him for you...what do you say?"
Hannah watched as this strange monkey man stepped around the apartment, brows furrowed until her gaze zeroed in on a particular object in his hand.
Was that.
She took the phone quickly and checked it, seeing the familiar charm on it.
"..... Daddy....."
The air grew very still as she stared at it, her heart starting to beat faster. The phone was cracked, and left behind... he wasn't the type to drop things and not pick them up again to fix later, especially a phone. They were expensive.
He had enemies but none that would actually do something to him... except.....
No... no no no no no no.
Not him. But it would be him. She knew it in her heart it would be, he warned them. He warned Daddy what would happen-
Her breathing quickened, she was trying not to, she really really was trying. But she couldn't, she felt the buildup the panic and fear was bringing, she couldn't shove it down, it had to-
"DADDY!!!"
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Oh shite I think I unintentionally made my own FNF WKM AU lol
At least I don't have everyone down yet.
Senpai as Darkiplier, Girlfriend as Celine, Boyfriend as Mayor Damien, Pico as William J. Barnum (AKA Wilford Motherloving Warfstache) after the whole thing, Tankman as Abe (AKA The Detective), and Daddy Dearest as the Chef.
Idk I'm bored, I'm gonna digitalize some of these later, and for some reason my phone wouldn't load up results of William so I had to draw Pico as Warfstache instead.
And yes I consider Damien and Darkiplier as two entirely different entities even though they somewhat look alike in WKM now hush.
#FNF#Friday Night Funkin#WKM#Who Killed Markiplier#FNF Boyfriend#FNF Girlfriend#Pico#FNF Pico#FNF Senpai#Tankman#FNF Tankman#Daddy Dearest#Markiplier#Darkiplier#Celine#WKM Celine#Wilford Motherloving Warfstache#Wilford Warfstache#WKM Chef#art#my art#fnf wkm#darkiplier senpai#mayor boyfriend#celine girlfriend#chef dearest#pico motherloving warfstache#fnf wkm au#wkm au
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My Nick Jr. + FNF Ideas
BF: Patty Praxton
GF: Harold Trouble
Daddy Dearest: Luthor “Little” Trouble
Skid & Pump: Geo and Milli
Pico: Picky Princess
Mommy Mearest: Big “Richard” Trouble
Week 5!Daddy Dearest and Mommy Mearest: Mayor Humdinger and Marmalady
Lemon Demon: Squiddy
Senpai: IDK, Ideas?
Tankman: Swiper
Sarv: Zeta
Ruv: Crusher
That's all I got.
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Tony rushes out of the bathroom because he hears sobbing.
"What's the matter? What's happened?" he demands at the sight and sound of Loki heaving great sobs into Stephen's chest.
"Loki thinks there was an intruder in our bedroom," Stephen says tersely.
Tony rushes over and sits on Loki's other side, stepping up to the plate by rubbing soothing circles on their boyfriend's back, while Stephen continues cooing nonsense and rambling reassurances in Loki's ear.
"If there was an intruder, JARVIS would have said something!" He hisses, on the verge of panic himself.
"I think it's just sleep paralysis," Stephen whispers back. "He said someone wrapped their arms and legs really tightly around him while he was sleeping and no matter how he tried to dislodge the perpetrator, he couldn't move."
"Oh my god Bambi!" Tony gasps in horror. "That's horrible! What a horrible dream!"
"It wasn't a dream!" Loki cries. "It was really disgusting! The pervert even tried to eat my ear! I hate that!"
Tony suddenly becomes very quiet. "You do, huh? You never said."
Stephen frowns. "That's hardly the issue here, Stark. We know Loki can kick anybody out of the bed with ease. Literally."
"Speaking from experience huh, Doc."
"Yours, I believe, more than mine. I keep count."
Tony rolls his eyes. "Of course you do."
"And since JARVIS didn't raise the alarm..." Stephen nuzzles Loki's temple and breathes a calming spell into his ear. "I think it was just a vivid dream, Baby."
Loki sniffles. "It couldn't have been. The pervert smelled like burnt meat. Maybe a fire demon? Or a goat demon? We need to exorcise him immediately."
"A goat demon, huh?" Tony mumbles, resisting the urge to smell himself.
"Tony, what's wrong with you? Why aren't you being more supportive?" Stephen asks in confusion. "You'd be running around the place like a headless chicken by now, calling everybody from the mayor's office to the fire brigade to the Pope!"
"Because the pervert - " Tony leaps to his feet, "- was me, you idiots!"
He points an accusing finger at Loki. "You had a craving for anticuchos in the middle of the night, remember?"
He then turns his wrath onto Stephen. "And you! You made me fly all the way to Lima to get it! The queue was hella long but I waited in line like a normal person just like you told me to - "
"Because your answer to everything is buying them! How many food businesses do you think Stark Industries will end up buying after all this is over?"
"- then I came back and you were both already asleep! You said you would wait up for me!"
"You know how Loki gets tired easily nowadays! And may I remind you that it was your turn last night to provide for him and our precious bubba?"
Stephen instinctively reaches out a hand to rub Loki's tiny bump. "Shh, baby, don't be scared. Daddy's not yelling at you. I'm yelling at your other Daddy, he's being a silly old goose - "
"Oh first I'm a goat, now I'm a goose?"
"I had to complete a 20-mile pilgrimage on foot in a remote town in Sardinia to get su filindeu for our dearest Loki, did you hear me complain?"
"No, because I gave you a damn good foot massage after!" Tony retorts. "And come on, surely no pasta dish can be that rare?"
"Only 3 women in the world know how to make it and they all come from a single family in Sardinia. I'd like to see you try buying them," Stephen gloats.
"Precious ones," Loki calls out, voice all feathery and frail. "Please cease this bickering..."
"Tony's being sensitive and insensitive at the same time. Your magic's a little haywire at the moment, he shouldn't be crushing you with all that weight - at least take your suit off before you get into bed with us!"
"Hey, you said it was sexy!"
"I did," Stephen admits. He finally relents, and offers a pair of very apologetic lips.
Tony accepts said lips readily.
"And it is sexy. But you gave poor Loki a fright," Stephen mumbles mid-kiss.
"I'm sorry, Bambi. I've showered now, see?"
Loki cautiously leans over. He gives a nod of approval, and a beaming smile so beautiful Tony's world turns golden for a second.
"You don't smell like a goat anymore."
"Yay!!!" Tony enjoys the next few seconds in communal lip-locking bliss, but as luck would have it, his non-monetary fortune never holds out for very long -
"Cow hearts for breakfast, anyone?"
To which Loki answers promptly by throwing up all over Tony's clean, just-showered self.
"I guess that's a no, then," Stephen says, sounding more tired than he has the right to.
Tony sighs, "Time to hit the showers again."
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