#mayo simon

[callsign-bunnie]

Starbucks Orders

Soap: Strawberry Acai, with no ice. “Yes, I know you have to put more water in it, I drink it down in five seconds, anyway!” Pumpkin Spice Latte in the fall.

Ghost: Doesn’t order from Starbucks. Passion Tango Tea with peach added

Rodolfo: Iced Caramel Macchiato. Nothing added. He stirs it without breaking eye contact with the barista.

Alejandro: Iced Nitro Cold brew, when he’s with anyone but Rodolfo. When he’s with Rudy, he gets a Iced White Chocolate Mocha, toasted in the winter with extra sprinkles.

Price: Black Coffee. Gaz groans every time. (Peppermint Mocha in the winter.)

Gaz: Depends. He mostly does secret menu drinks, however he unironically drinks the “Medicine Ball” (Citrus Mint Tea) because he thinks it tastes good.

Graves: “Yeah, can I get that Pinkity-Drinkity thing? ;)” 

Shepherd: Can I get a Caramel Ribbon Crunch with extra caramel, extra crunch, and light ice, please?

Valeria: Brown Sugar Shaken Expresso, Apple Crisp Macchiato in the fall

Farah: Apparently none of the drinks are Halal, so my girl is struggling.

Alex: Iced Salted Caramel Nitro Cold Brew

[cheesecvlt]

first time using a screenless tablet ya

[xshiny]

I THINK TWEAKED 😭

they're a bit younger than I intended...

Oh well, they can be the "Teen Era"

[spiderliliez]

THINKING ABOUT MAUD

Morfydd, talking about her troubled character. Maud’s certainly not the most likeable person. But how do you think you could’ve treated her? Interview by Mark Kermode & Simon Mayo [+] MORFYDD [GIF Collection] 🥀 [+] ..more “Saint Maud” 🎬

[below-average-fangirl]

Mark: Quite often now because of the way YouTube and all the rest of it works, people see behind the scenes stuff before they see the film

Simon: I have seen some of the amazing film that the Mission Impossible people put out -

Mark: Of Tom Cruise jumping off the side of a cliff on a motorbike.

Simon: Which I have to say was so astonishing it did make me think, okay I definitely want to see that film.

Mark: Yeah, but the thing about that is, is that it's actually Tom Cruise and again it's the Gladiator thing, "are you not entertained" thing, look I am... Because it is him, it is demonstrably him.

Simon: It's watching a master craftsman make a sideboard, that's what it is. I just think you watch someone at the top of there game and go, "okay like that." It's impossible to improve on the way he's done that.

[afranciscomiradiezblr-blog]

FÉLIX ARNAUDIN (1844-1921)

FÉLIX ARNAUDIN (1844-1921)

Simon Arnaudin, conocido como Felix Arnaudin, nacido el 30 de mayo de 1844 en Labouheyre, Landes, fue un poeta y fotógrafo francés especializado en la zona de Haute-Lande. Félix Arnaudin es el primero en observar a la Haute-Lande como nativa. Podemos decir de él que es al mismo tiempo lingüista, folklorista, historiador, etnólogo, fotógrafo y escritor. Así se ilustra en el estudio de las tradiciones populares de este país de las Landas de Gascogne, en pleno cambio económico y social. Su trabajo se centra en la colección de historias y canciones en Gascón, en la fotografía de paisajes, hábitats, pastores y campesinos de Landes. Dedica su vida a salvar este legado del olvido. Su lugar de nacimiento se convirtió en la Casa de la Fotografía de Landes, lugar de exposiciones fotográficas gestionadas por la ciudad de Labouheyre. Viene de una familia de pequeños terratenientes de Labouheyre, en el distrito de Monge. Su formación en el colegio de Mont-de-Marsan es la base de una erudición valiosa para su trabajo. Graduado, de regreso a Labouheyre, no encontré en su medio ningún trabajo en relación con su nivel y sus aspiraciones. Viviendo con los ingresos de unas pocas granjas, Félix Arnaudin no tiene un trabajo permanente. A la edad de treinta años, soltero, dedicóse por completo a su pasión: dar testimonio de la cultura pastoral de Haute-Lande, donde los cambios económicos la hacen desaparecer inexorablemente. Llevado por el amor de su país, adopta al mismo tiempo un enfoque racional y científico para su investigación. Cruza las tierras altas de un extremo a otro, a menudo en bicicleta, para interrogar a los habitantes, utilizando cuestionarios preestablecidos. Él pone la misma aplicación y rigor en la producción de hojas de encuestas y directorios fotográficos. Fue pionero en una descripción de la fotografía de Haute-Lande y sus aspectos notables. El resultado es una obra única por su tamaño, 2700 placas de vidrio, conservadas en el Museo Aquitania de Burdeos y por su diversidad, a través de la cual se revela como un gran operador artístico y un observador riguroso. Murió el 6 de diciembre de 1921 en Labouheyre. a través de la cual se revela como un gran operador artístico y un observador riguroso. Murió el 6 de diciembre de 1921 en Labouheyre. a través de la cual se revela como un gran operador artístico y un observador riguroso. Murió el 6 de diciembre de 1921 en Labouheyre.

[rwpohl]

wonder man, h. bruce humberstone 1945

[anditendshowyoudexpect]

if in doubt, it's Taylor Swift 😂

[denimbex1986]

"...some American critics have said it's the best thing they've seen this year..."

"...loads of people have loved it, and I understand why because it's terrific...the novel is a 1987 novel 'Strangers' by Taichi Yamada...I think the thing that works so well about this is that it has actually, in my opinion, a very Japanese view of the ghosts; that they are - that they are very everyday. They are very commonplace, there's something strangely ordinary about them...Andrew Scott is a lonely Londoner...he's approached by his neighbour Pau - Harry, played by Paul Mescal, who's drunk, comes onto him, he's initially rebuffed...he goes back to the place where he grew up and he appears to meet his mum and dad, played by Jamie Bell and Claire Foy, and it's very natural, but they are his age; they are the age they were when he lost them.

And then they talk...what they're really talking about is reconciliation and things that, you know, are still haunting them in the past. And while that's happening, his relationship with this person who turned up at his door is starting to blossom . So it's about grief and longing and memory...here, it really is about that. And it's about the way that desire can make something real, can make something tangible. It's also - and I think this is crucial - it's about the need to move on. It's about how the past can haunt you, can enchant you - but can also trap you; that in the end we all know that the past is to be lived with and not in.

So Andrew Haigh...what Andrew Haigh gets so brilliantly is human longing, human desire, human interaction; the way in which all those things are expressed physically as well as verbally. The performances in this film are exquisite...the scenes between Claire Foy and Andrew Scott; the, the thing when she, you know, when she, when she looks at him he's a grown man and she says: "You were just a boy", it's, it's - it's heartbreaking; I mean it's absolutely heartbreaking...there is a fantastic original score by Emilie Levienaise-Farrouch...I can't imagine anybody watching All of Us Strangers and not being touched...it is a film that touches a, an essential truth in all of us; that we all understand longing, loss, grief, and the fact that the past can haunt you - and as I said, you live with the past, but you can't live in it. I loved it."

[writersdrug]

Bartender ghost’s reaction to waitress reader getting hit on by a customer or customers.

There's not nearly enough of these in my askbox send me mooooreeeeeee

He kinda hates it. He hates seeing her getting ogled at, hates seeing them scribble their numbers on the receipts, hates the way they make you run back and forth to grab them ketchup, mayo, more drinks, or to ask Soap for an extra side of fries - hates the way they try to chat you up, leaning back in their seats and saying anything that'll get you giggling and bright eyed - Simon knows it's all for their pleasure, having you at their beck and call for an hour or two, making you their personal little errand girl and watching you weave around tables and customers for their own enjoyment.

Simon isn't mad at you for wearing those shorts and skirts that have the patrons' eyes glued to your backside, or those low-cut, tight tops that hug you so nicely, making them stutter as they give you their order. He's mad at them, those sleazeballs who think they're worth your time or attention. You're his waitress, not their toy. His pretty little over-achiever.

And that's exactly why he tolerates it. He knows you're a grown adult, and he knows you're smart. You play their game, smiling sweetly and acting the tiniest bit coy and frazzled, nonetheless fulfilling every single one of their requests. Pretending to be apologetic about a burger not made to a customer's liking, then barking out orders to Soap once you're behind the kitchen door (don't worry, he barks back). You do it all for the fat tips, the double, sometimes triple digits on their receipts. He swallows the bitter taste of jealousy - well, he tries to. He's got his own patrons at the bartop to worry about.

You waltz over at the end of your shift and slap a receipt on the counter. "Some bloke left me a billion dollar tip." You say with a cheeky grin, cheeks flushed from hours of running between tables.

Ghost cocks an eyebrow, looking at the receipt. Sure enough, the idiot had left his mobile number in the tips section - technically, he left you four billion.

"That won't go through, 'n you know it." He says, looking over the edge of the receipt at you.

You purse your lips and tilt your chin down, looking up at him through your stupid, bloody, gorgeous eyes. "Twenty percent auto-grat, since that's technically not a tip? Pretty pleeeeease?"

He wants to say no, just to prove he's strong-willed against your flirtatious antics. He's an ex-SAS soldier. He's better than this. Your charm may fool those boys at his tables, but not him.

That is, until you carefully wrap your delicate hand around his wrist, using your other fingers to fold the receipt over his knuckles. "It'll be our little secret."

Thank god he has the counter to hide his raging hard on. He huffs and snatches the receipt from your fingers, turning to the POS.

"Fuckin' whatever." He says, punching in the tip. You squeal in delight and flit back to the restaurant floor to finish your tasks.

"Thanks Simon!" You chirp, and he grunts over his shoulder - discretely pressing his boner into counter.

You have to fan the heat from your face, remembering how his wrist felt in your hand.

[bwthornton]

#Film Simon Mayo interviews Michael Douglas - Kermode and Mayo's Take

https://stratford-upon-avon-theatre.blogspot.com/2023/02/film-simon-mayo-interviews-michael.html

[hotvintagepoll]

THE TOURNAMENT IS OVER! Eartha Kitt lounges in her deck chair in the sun, dipping her toes in the pool with Toshiro Mifune and sipping a brightly colored fruity something with an umbrella in it.

Far below in the shadow realm, however, the fallen hotties dance in the dark—let's take a minute to look back at them under the cut.

PRELIM PRETTIES:

Claude Gensac, Silvia Pinal, Ewa Aulin, Rita Tushingham, Annette Funicello, Norma Bengell, Catherine Spaak, Brigitte Auber, Micheline Presle, Nanette Fabray, Libertad Lamarque, Vera Miles, Martha Raye, Catherine McLeod, Virginia Mayo, Elizabeth Allan, Belle Bennet, Virginia Cherill, Mary Brian, Ruth Chatterton, Agnes Ayres, Merna Kennedy, Marie Prevost, Corinne Griffith, May Allison, Virginia Brown Faire, Alice Brady, and Jetta Goudal

ROUND ONE WONDERS:

Angie Dickinson, Thelma Ritter, Geraldine Chaplin, Evelyn Preer, Vanessa Brown, Betty Blythe, Susan Hayward, Mae Clarke, Sally Ann Howes, Ossi Oswalda, Adrienne La Russa, Hermione Gingold, Barbara Bouchet, Melina Mercouri, Anna Karina, Edwige Fenech, Charmian Carr, Pina Pellicer, Marlène Jobert, Tsuru Aoki, Alice Roberts, Leila Hyams, Lady Tsen Mei, Geneviève Bujold, Dolores Hart, Anita Berber, Bonita Granville, Vonetta McGee, Claire Windsor, Zizi Jeanmaire, Tuesday Weld, Grace Darmond, Carol Channing, Deanna Durbin, Laraine Day, Mariette Hartey, Wendy Hiller, Candy Darling, Hermione Baddely, Valeria Creti, Ella Raines, Ann Miller, Dana Wynter, Dalida, Martine Beswick, Gale Storm, Simone Signoret, Cristina Gaioni, Mabel Normand, Stéphane Audran, Ruth Weyher, Anna Wiazemsky, Ann Sheridan, Sandhya Shantaram, Alice White, Anne Francis, Gena Rowlands, Lyda Borelli, May Whitty, Cathleen Nesbitt, Jessica Walter, Virna Lisi, Barbara Shelley, Iris Hall, Heather Angel, Anne Shirley, Joanna Pettet, Virginia O'Brien, Joan Collins, Greer Garson, Gracie Allen, Peggy Ryan, Frances Dee, Shirley Maclaine, Geraldine Farrar, Kathleen Byron, Margaret Hamilton, Eva Gabor, Francesca Bertini, Julie Adams, Olga Baclanova, Misa Uehara, Yvette Vickers, Milena Dravić, Jenny Jugo, Madeleine Carroll, Benita Hume, Olive Borden, Shirley Jones, Miyoshi Umeki, Dorothy Lamour, Gale Sondergaard, Mary Anderson, Charlotte Greenwood, Sybil Seely, Mona Barrie, Kathryn Grayson, Katharine Ross, Madge Bellamy, Rhonda Fleming, Sally Gray, Jana Brejchová, Debra Paget, Madame Sul-Te-Wan, Evelyn Brent, Zelma O'Neal, Marie Laforêt, Türkan Şoray, Beatriz Costa, Irene Zazians, Eleanor Powell, Susan Luckey, Patsy Kelly, Lil Dagover, Norma Talmadge, Dorothy Mackaill, Madge Evans, Virginia McKenna, Amália Rodrigues, Mamie Van Doren, Valerie Hobson, Isabel Jeans, Beata Tyszkiewicz, Claire Luce, Aleksandra Khokhlova, Nieves Navarro Garcia, Janet Leigh, Carmen Miranda, Jean Harlow, Aud Egedge-Nissen, Nina Foch, Jean Simmons, Piper Laurie, Katy Jurado, Jayne Mansfield, Anita Garvin, Frances Farmer, Lizabeth Scott, Joan Greenwood, Una Merkel, Arlene Francis, Ethel Merman, Doris Day, Suzanne Pleshette, Ruta Lee, Carolyn Jones, June Richmond, Eva Nil, Diana Dors, Anna Chang, Colleen Moore, Alexis Smith, Yvette Mimieux, Ruby Keeler, Viola Dana, Dolores Grey, Marie Windsor, Danielle Darieux, Jean Parker, Julie Christie, Acquanetta, Leatrice Joy, Ghita Nørby, Julie Newmar, Joanne Woodward, Sandra Dee, Eva Marie Saint, Simone Simon, Katherine Dunham, Birgitte Price, Lee Grant, Anita Page, Flora Robson, Martha Sleeper, Elsie Ames, Isabel "Coca" Sarli, Glenda Farrell, Kathleen Burke, Linden Travers, Diane Baker, Joan Davis, Joan Leslie, Sylvia Sidney, Marie Dressler, June Lockhart, Emmanuelle Riva, Libertad Leblanc, Susannah Foster, Susan Fleming, Dolores Costello, Ann Smyrner, Luise Rainer, Anna Massey, Evelyn Ankers, Ruth Gordon, Eva Dahlbeck, Ansa Ikonen, Diana Wynyard, Patricia Neal, Etta Lee, Gloria Stuart, Arletty, Dorothy McGuire, Mitzi Gaynor, Gwen Verdon, Maria Schell, Lili Damita, Ethel Moses, Gloria Holden, Kay Thompson, Jeanne Crain, Edna May Oliver, Lili Liliana, Ruth Chatterton, Giulietta Masina, Claire Bloom, Dinah Sheridan, Carroll Baker, Brenda de Banzie, Milú, Hertha Thiele, Hanka Ordonówna, Lillian Roth, Jane Powell, Carol Ohmart, Betty Garrett, Kalina Jędrusik, Edana Romney, Geraldine Fitzgerald, Kay Kendall, Ruth Hussey, Véra Clouzot, Jadwiga Smosarska, Marge Champion, Mary Astor, Ann Harding, María Casares, Maureen O'Sullivan, Mildred Natwick, Michèle Morgan, Romy Schneider, Elisabeth Bergner, Celeste Holm, Betty Hutton, Susan Peters, Mehtab, Leslie Caron, Anna Sten, Janet Munro, Nataša Gollová, Eve Arden, Ida Lupino, Regina Linnanheimo, Sonja Henie, and Terry (what a good girl)

ROUND TWO BEAUTIES:

Evelyn Nesbit, Thelma Todd, Tura Satana, Helen Gibson, Maureen O'Hara, Rocío Dúrcal, Mary Nolan, Lois Maxwell, Maggie Smith, Zulma Faiad, Ursula Andress, Musidora, Delphine Seyrig, Marian Marsh, Leatrice Joy, Sharon Tate, Pina Menichelli, Teresa Wright, Shelley Winters, Lee Remick, Jane Wyman, Martita Hunt, Barbara Bates, Susan Strasberg, Marie Bryant, Diana Rigg, Jane Birkin, Rosalind Russell, Vanessa Redgrave, Brigitte Helm, Gloria Grahame, Rosemary Clooney, Bebe Daniels, Constance Bennett, Lilian Bond, Ann Dvorak, Jeanette Macdonald, Pouri Banayi, Raquel Welch, Vilma Bánky, Dorothy Malone, Olive Thomas, Celia Johnson, Moira Shearer, Priscilla Lane, Dolores del Río, Ann Sothern, Françoise Rosay, June Allyson, Carole Lombard, Jeni Le Gon, Takako Irie, Barbara Steele, Claudette Colbert, Lalita Pawar, Asta Nielsen, Sandra Milo, Maria Montez, Mae West, Alma Rose Aguirre, Bibi Andersson, Joan Blondell, Anne Bancroft, Elsa Lanchester, Nita Naldi, Suchitra Sen, Dorothy Van Engle, Elisabeth Welch, Esther Williams, Loretta Young, Margueritte De La Motte, Ita Rina, Constance Talmadge, Margaret Lockwood, Barbara Bedford, Josette Day, Stefania Sandrelli, Jane Russell, Doris Dowling, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Donna Reed, Ruby Dee, Diana Sands, Billie Burke, Kyōko Kagawa, Françoise Dorléac, Hend Rostom, Monica Vitti, Lilian Harvey, Marjorie Main, Jeanne Moreau, Lola Flores, Ann Blyth, Janet Gaynor, Jennifer Jones, Margaret Sullavan, Sadhana, Ruby Myers, Lotus Long, Honor Blackman, Marsha Hunt, Debbie Reynolds, Michèle Mercier, Irene Dunne, Jean Arthur, Judy Holliday, Tippi Hedren, Susse Wold, Vera-Ellen, Carmelita González, Nargis Dutt, Purnima, Harriet Andersson, Yvonne De Carlo, Miroslava Stern, Sheila Guyse, Helen, Margaret Dumont, Betty Grable, Joan Bennett, Jane Greer, Judith Anderson, Liv Ullman, Vera Zorina, Joan Fontaine, Silvana Mangano, and Lee Ya-Ching

ROUND THREE ELECTRIFIERS:

Jean Hagen, Sumiko Mizukubo, Mary Philbin, Ann-Margret, Margaret Rutherford, Claudia Cardinale, Eleanor Parker, Jessie Matthews, Theresa Harris, Brigitte Bardot, Alla Nazimova, Faye Dunaway, Marion Davies, Anna Magnani, Theda Bara, Myrna Loy, Kay Francis, Fay Wray, Barbra Streisand, Bette Davis, Hideko Takamine, France Nuyen, Claudine Auger, Miriam Hopkins, Maylia Fong, Samia Gamal, Maude Fealy, Machiko Kyō, Sharmila Tagore, Lucille Ball, Ginger Rogers, Juanita Moore, Anna Fougez, Waheeda Rehman, Ruan Lingyu, Nina Mae McKinney, Ethel Waters, Nadira, Olivia de Havilland, Abbey Lincoln, Louise Beavers, Agnes Moorehead, Lana Turner, Norma Shearer, Maria Falconetti, Reiko Sato, Marie Doro, Clara Bow, Margaret Lindsay, Catherine Denueve, Madhabi Mukherjee, Rosaura Revueltas, Hu Die, Mary Pickford, Fredi Washington, Louise Brooks, Leonor Maia, Merle Oberon, Paulette Goddard, Vivien Leigh, Francine Everett, Savitri, Tita Merello, and Meena Kumari

ROUND FOUR STUNNERS:

Judy Garland, Dorothy Dandridge, Yoshiko Yamaguchi, Marilyn Monroe, Irene Papas, Lupe Vélez, Pola Negri, Gene Tierney, Barbara Stanwyck, Gina Lollobrigida, Lena Horne, Nutan, Jean Seberg, Kim Novak, Gladys Cooper, Tallulah Bankhead, Linda Darnell, Julie Andrews, Carmen Sevilla, Gloria Swanson, Glynis Johns, Anne Baxter, Angela Lansbury, Anita Ekberg, Toshia Mori, Deborah Kerr, Hazel Scott, Chelo Alonso, Cyd Charisse, Nancy Kwan, Devika Rani, Shima Iwashita, and Anouk Aimée

ROUND FIVE SMOKESHOWS:

Setsuko Hara, Pearl Bailey, Joan Crawford, Madhubala, Marpessa Dawn, Keiko Awaji, Rita Hayworth, Veronica Lake, Ava Gardner, Greta Garbo, Grace Kelly, Xia Meng, Suraiya, Natalie Wood, María Félix, and Mbissine Thérèse Diop

ROUND SIX SEXY LADIES:

Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Vyjyanthimala, Jane Fonda, Katharine Hepburn, Josephine Baker, Elizabeth Taylor, and Ingrid Bergman

QUARTER FINALIST GLAMAZONS:

Audrey Hepburn, Marlene Dietrich, Anna May Wong, and Lauren Bacall

SEMIFINALIST ICONS:

Rita Moreno, Diahann Carroll

FINALIST FABULOSITY:

Hedy Lamarr

ULTIMATE CHAMPION OF THE HOT & VINTAGE MOVIE WOMAN TOURNAMENT:

Eartha Kitt

[afranciscomiradiezblr-blog]

FÉLIX ARNAUDIN (1844-1921)

FÉLIX ARNAUDIN (1844-1921)

Simon Arnaudin, conocido como Felix Arnaudin, nacido el 30 de mayo de 1844 en Labouheyre, Landes, fue un poeta y fotógrafo francés especializado en la zona de Haute-Lande. Félix Arnaudin es el primero en observar a la Haute-Lande como nativa. Podemos decir de él que es al mismo tiempo lingüista, folklorista, historiador, etnólogo, fotógrafo y escritor. Así se ilustra en el estudio de las tradiciones populares de este país de las Landas de Gascogne, en pleno cambio económico y social. Su trabajo se centra en la colección de historias y canciones en Gascón, en la fotografía de paisajes, hábitats, pastores y campesinos de Landes. Dedica su vida a salvar este legado del olvido. Su lugar de nacimiento se convirtió en la Casa de la Fotografía de Landes, lugar de exposiciones fotográficas gestionadas por la ciudad de Labouheyre. Viene de una familia de pequeños terratenientes de Labouheyre, en el distrito de Monge. Su formación en el colegio de Mont-de-Marsan es la base de una erudición valiosa para su trabajo. Graduado, de regreso a Labouheyre, no encontré en su medio ningún trabajo en relación con su nivel y sus aspiraciones. Viviendo con los ingresos de unas pocas granjas, Félix Arnaudin no tiene un trabajo permanente. A la edad de treinta años, soltero, dedicóse por completo a su pasión: dar testimonio de la cultura pastoral de Haute-Lande, donde los cambios económicos la hacen desaparecer inexorablemente. Llevado por el amor de su país, adopta al mismo tiempo un enfoque racional y científico para su investigación. Cruza las tierras altas de un extremo a otro, a menudo en bicicleta, para interrogar a los habitantes, utilizando cuestionarios preestablecidos. Él pone la misma aplicación y rigor en la producción de hojas de encuestas y directorios fotográficos. Fue pionero en una descripción de la fotografía de Haute-Lande y sus aspectos notables. El resultado es una obra única por su tamaño, 2700 placas de vidrio, conservadas en el Museo Aquitania de Burdeos y por su diversidad, a través de la cual se revela como un gran operador artístico y un observador riguroso. Murió el 6 de diciembre de 1921 en Labouheyre. a través de la cual se revela como un gran operador artístico y un observador riguroso. Murió el 6 de diciembre de 1921 en Labouheyre. a través de la cual se revela como un gran operador artístico y un observador riguroso. Murió el 6 de diciembre de 1921 en Labouheyre.

[peppermint-toads]

ghost dealing with his pregnant southern wife’s cravings (aka you introduce simon to tomato mayo sandwiches). tw: pregnancy, a little smut, eating/food, a little vomiting. i didn’t proof read this

ghost loved coming home to you after tedious days doing paperwork on base.

whatever you were going, he’d wrap his arms around you, resting his chin on the top of your head and sighing. he probably smelled like man. gross, sweaty man, but you never commented on it.

when you fell pregnant he loved holding you like that even more, seeing your belly start to poke out as he gazed downward.

one night, he came home to you standing in front of the kitchen counter, arm gently sawing back and forth as you sliced a tomato.

he took his normal position, humming and closing his eyes. when he opened them again, he took in the scene in front of him.

“what is this, love?”

never did he expect you to cook for him, especially when you became pregnant. but maybe every once in a while when he came home particularly starving, he’d steal a bite or two of whatever you were making.

but lately, your meals had gotten a bit strange.

and really, it was his own fault. as soon as you’d so much as hinted at wanting to have simon’s kid, he had you anchored down to the hilt of him as he stuffed you with his cum.

“it’s ummm, tomatoes and sourdough, and mayo.”

you tilted your head back to look at him.

“that’s it?”

you shook your head, hair going staticky on his t-shit.

“salt and pepper, too.”

you watched as his face pinched into a grimace.

“hey!” you scowled. “don’t look at me like that mister beans on toast.”

you turned fully, playfully shoving his chest.

“used to eat this all the time as a kid. everybody kinda did.”

simon cracked as he saw embarrassment creep onto your features, like he’d made you feel gross for craving it.

you were often victim of trying new british “delicacies,” so it was only fair that he return the favor.

“alright, i’ll try one.” he shrugged.

he offered to help, but as always you refuse it. he watched as you slathered a generous layer of mayo onto each side of the bread, setting thick slices of tomato on top, and finishing it with enough pepper to make simon sneeze.

he winced when you handed him his plate, and you were suddenly nervous.

“it might not be that good, tomatoes being out of season and all.”

you both tuck into your sandwiches once settled on the couch, your preferred spot these days.

simon was pleasantly surprised. maybe a little too much mayo, but he was delighted.

you on the other hand, were gagging after taking a bite. it had you making a haste exit for the bathroom, where you found a familiar place on the floor, heaving into the toilet.

when you returned to the living room, sheepish, simon had discarded any evidence of the sandwiches and had put a pot of water on the stove to boil for plain noodles, one of the only things you could stomach recently.

“sorry si, i didn’t mean for that to happen. it’s just—”

you began to choke, suddenly overcome by emotion. he pulled you in tight, your face pressing into his shirt.

“i know love, i know.”

his hand smoothed up and down your back steadily until he felt your breathing return to normal and heard your sniffling stop.

“why don’t you find a movie, and i’ll finish up in here.” he nodded towards the kitchen

you did, finding a movie both of you would like, even though simon never really watched the screen anymore. he was too focused on you, watching your little belly rise and fall with every breath.