#maybe tomorrow I'll only be partially dead and I'll be able to do it then

[genzento]

"You mean there is nothing to grieve about your death? Or because now it's actually more fun than before?" Tama started to wonder whether someone would actually put his picture onto an altar. By the time he would die, his parents would probably be dead. Maybe his brother would, if he died before him, but considering both of their lifestyles it was hard to tell... with a short shaking of his head he removed the thought to focus back onto the conversation. "I know people that also take walks on graveyards, during the day of course, because it's quiet, no cars, it's often green around, sometimes inside too. It's actually really peaceful, I think." Tama realised the short silence, but he couldn't tell what that pair of eyes were saying. But he liked the words that followed, he felt understood, even without explaining a lot and he surely enjoyed that. He even got excited about the cat comparison, making his body sit a little more straight in excitement. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes! This! People think it's a present like 'ooooh, my cat loves me this much!' no, they think you're an idiot that is not able to feed themself." His body relaxed again as he laughed at ease. Tama slowly catched his breath again to nod. "Imagine how horrible people would procrastinate, if they were immortal. The 'I'll do that tomorrow' would never come. Tons of plans would be postponed until eternity. I do think too, that the mortality actually brings appreciation into our lives.

"Did you forget the taste of salt and pepper? I mean there is a big difference! Most spices make food taste different. While salt increases the foods own taste, but only if you don't overuse it! Once it actually tastes salty, it's too much. But... the nonsense aside, I will picture it increases the natural taste, which is... hopefully not just iron." He wrinkled his nose into a short grimace, while his lips were still smiling amused, until he made a gasping sound. "So... what you're trying to say is... that those people made those inventions while being dead already?" Tama's lips formed to make an explosion sound, while his hands moved from his head away sideways, gesturing a detonation. He must admit that he felt ridiculous in that moment, but also too relaxed to act any different. One of his hands patted Fuji's thigh, while his head tilted sideways, just a bit, making the shortly longer hair covering his neck partially. "Ready. Please just make sure not to suck off the ink, it was hard work.", he smirked.

@anemia-rp It's Friday! I am on my way.

[ivant1ll]

R0LLERSK4TING WITH TWST CHARACTERS 🎧

this theme has nothing to do with the fic but idc its pretty

✉️. LOADING DESC !

characters included : ace trappola , lilia vanrouge , ruggie bucchi , kalim al-asim , floyd leech rollerskating with some of the twst boys except y/n is literal shit at it

word count = 1790

ACE !

List of bad ideas you should NEVER do!! 1. Invite your friend out to rollerskating when you’ve never even put skates on a day in your life.

Ace just assumed you were scared to skate at first, he accepted the offer but noticed you a bit shaky and unsure once you both make it to the place.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared to skate now y/n, we’re already here!” You break the unexpected news to the redhead. “Well… heh funny story! I don’t really know how to skate…”

“You WHAT?! DID YOU JUST ASSUME YOU’D PUT THE SKATES ON AND SUDDENLY BE ABLE TO???” After some ridicule from Ace and partial annoyance at learning this information, he reluctantly agrees to help you learn.

He’d be holding onto your arm to make sure you don’t tumble over while your other hand holds onto the ledge. You start off quite wobbly but Ace encourages you along with an occasional comment of “Wow Y/n… you really do suck at this!” Followed by a laugh.

The loud music blaring in the background of the skating rink only made it harder to hear Ace trying to give you direction but in the end you got the hang of it. Other than one slight tumble that was followed by immediate laughter, skating with Ace happens to be quite fun even if you don't know how to do it.

After a few hours of skating, you both are tired as can be and decide that it's time to leave. Knowing Ace though you make sure to tell him before you both walk out, "I swear if tomorrow we head to school and Deuce knows about this you're dead."

"No promises y/n~ would be a shame if I sent him this video I got of you falling...!" A play fight ensued, but you had fun nonetheless.

LILIA !

Knowing that Lilia is always up for a good time, it seemed like roller skating would be a nice idea! He seemed more than eager at the idea when you called him to invite him and accepted quite fast, slight issue.. you can't skate and didn't realize until you were outside the rink!!!

Knowing that more than likely Lilia is quite good at it, you tried your best to keep it a secret. Maybe you can just play it off as if you are having an off day so it's messing up your technique!!! "Yep, just an off day..." you'd think to yourself.

After you both meet up in the rink and Lilia gets his skates on, you signal for him to go ahead as you go get your skates, "Oh no don't worry y/n I don't mind waiting! Why we still have to race around!" He has a little smirk as those haunting words come out his mouth.

Fuck. You're screwed!!! You slip the skates on and hold onto the ledge as best as you can, Lilia seems a bit confused at first but you play it off enough to where he doesn't question. It was until you got into the rink that things got bad

You have nothing else to do but blurt it out "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SKATE..." Which catches Lilia off guard a little bit but, to your shock he laughs and rather than seeming upset, he lends you a hand

"Well then y/n, isn't this interesting! I guess I'll be teaching you before any racing~" Lilia makes sure to keep a decent grip onto you as he guides you through the motions of learning. Keeping you firm in place if it seems like you'll slip, he is actually a really good skating teacher! You both have a lot of fun and can't help but giggle at your inexperience at times. Though you don't fully learn by the end of the trip, Lilia definitely wasn't lying when he said he was good at skating, and you surely both enjoyed yourself!

"Remind me that I still owe you that race next time, I'll learn by then I swear!"

"Khee hee, then I expect a really good race against you y/n!"

RUGGIE !

Ruggie seemed a little confused at your offer at first apparently "you didn't seem like the type to roller skate" and I mean, neither did he but seemed cool so he decided to tag along!

You both arrive and his suspicions were confirmed, but you were quite shocked to learn that Ruggie didn't really know how to skate either! He was quite wobbly standing up and at that point you both knew that you were in for a wild ride

"Yeah probably should have thought of at least learning something first before doing this!" You laugh nervously as you look towards Ruggie who at this point is struggling to even make his way over to you, "Uh,, YOU THINK??" You laugh in response. "Well then, I guess this'll be a learning experience for the both of us..."

You both make your way out to the middle of the rink, you would both occasionally motion to grabbing onto the other person's shoulder when you think you'll fall, but you would both end up catching your balance before it could happen. "Hey y/n you better not fall cause then I'll laugh so hard that I'll fall too!" Ruggie teases at you as you just grin and roll your eyes in response.

Gaining some form of a rhythm was the goal of the two of you, so you both take turns trying to gain a steady pace while the other points out something that could possibly help. Every now and then either you or Ruggie would get a little cocky with it and try to go faster than you knew you could go. Of course, you'd fall and the other would burst into laughter.

For what it is this trip could be considered quite successful, you both didn't learn much but, the stuff that happened in itself while y'all learned was funny enough to make the experience just as good! But,, maybe it would be best to choose something that at least one of you know how to do next time.

KALIM !

Kalim would probably have been the one to invite you. You tell him that you don't know how to really skate and might not be able to go. Kalim being Kalim he offered in a heartbeat to try and teach you. "I'm not that good myself y/n, but I'll try my best!" Gotta love Kalim.

Once you and Kalim meet up at the place, you are both quite excited to try and skate together. Kalim would totally be the person to try to skate on beat with the music and hold your wrist while skating to make sure you don't fall.

You are both pretty steady, you'd stumble more than Kalim and if you did happen to fall he wouldn't pause for a second to help you get back up, checking if you're okay. Kalim points out tips to you that can help you improve how you skate, and ensures that you are having fun.

Eventually Kalim would fall, just to giggle it off right after and thank you for helping him up. Kalim would teach you quite well, having good balance and rhythm being key he'd tell you. By the end of the day you are able to skate decently on your own!

"Kalim, I thought you 'weren't very good at this' yet you could teach me just fine?" You'd ask him.

"Well, I don't think I'm really good! Jamil is MUCH better than me at this I suppose I've picked up on a few things from him! I'm really having fun though skating with you y/n!" You do nothing more than giggle in response. Today was fun, hanging out with Kalim is fun, hangout SUCCESSFUL!!!

FLOYD !

Anything fun Floyd is up for, so it wouldn't be much of a question as to whether he was down or not to go skating with you. "Be ready Little Shrimpy, I might just chase you down while we're skating~". Of course that being the most "Floyd answer" you can receive you just giggle and say that you'll see him later.

"You can't skate how the hell can you escape him if you can barely keep yourself standing up in those skates." Is probably what you'd think to yourself as you arrive to place. Floyd takes no time to quickly greet you and you both make it inside and put on your skates.

Floyd seems like the type of person to also fall into the rhythm of the music blaring throughout the place and end up falling or stuff cause he get's way too excited/cocky and goes way too fast. You can try your best to keep him in check but's its pretty hard when you cant even maneuver in the skates yourself.

Without hesitation... Floyd begins skating in the opposite direction not realizing you actually have to go a certain way, either that or he just felt like going whichever way he wanted. After a scolding from the staff, he obviously looked upset so trying to help out you'd give him an offer that you know would make him happy and keep him interested but,,, could be your death wish.

"So Floyd,,, up to chase me down like you said before?"

HIs eyes would light up with excitement, "You know at first I didn't really feel like it but, now that you offer, this seems pretty fun." He laughs, "Get ready Little Shrimpy because I sure bet I can still squeeze you even here~".

"Oh shit." To say the least running from Floyd taught you how to skate more than any teacher could have at that moment, it was fight or flight. The fight being fighting Floyd off of you if he did happen to squeeze you. You obviously didn't get much but floyd seemed to find amusement in your lack of experience as you ran from him. In the end you did succumb to the circumstances of the current chase and you fell right over in the middle of the rink. So suddenly that in fact Floyd who was behind you couldn't stop himself either, crashing right into you.

Silence, you hope that didn't throw off Floyds mood

The ensuite of laughter from the moray afterward calmed down your fears and you began to laugh too. Needless to say maybe skating is quite fun as you are being chased down by your friend and you don't even know how to do it! What a weird way of having fun indeed~

© grayson-png ：do not repost or claim my work as ur own

[brideofcthulhu10]

Next up on our list my lovelies is Paul! A special thank you to @trescharmant-mydear for helping me with brainstorming ideas when writers block had me stumped! I hope you fang babes all enjoy the next boy in our child birth saga!

Lost Boys Fem!S/O Gives Birth [2/4]

Paul

The whole pregnancy thing was undoubtedly a massive shock when you had finally told him. At first he wasn’t even sure it was his. Granted you slugged him for even suggesting you had been having an affair but he couldn’t help it! The idea of impregnation was pretty much impossible as far as they knew. He had no heartbeat, the blood in his veins was dead and black, he kind of assumed by that point his gun was shooting blanks. That is until you began rejecting anything that wasn’t blood or meat. Every day he could see more of that reality coming into play. At first he thought maybe he had just imagined it, but when your stomach grew in really sank in. 

 He was terrified beyond belief knowing he’d soon be responsible for a living, breathing thing- er baby- guh! The word freaked him out. No one even warned him what came with it. Well, Dwayne tried to but those books were nasty. Especially the pictures. Paul tried his best to sit through them but it just stressed him out! There wouldn’t be a doctor! There would be no sterilized hospital bed where a team of nurses would be on standby if there were complications- hell, they wouldn’t be able to know if there even were any complications! That’s what scared him more than anything. You both were utterly in the dark. Were you healthy? Was the baby healthy? Could this kill you if they weren't careful? Ultrasounds were out too, so he couldn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. The uncertainty of it all was torture!

The only way he knew they were still alive was from his own bizarre connection to them. Sure his mental powers were never as clean cut as David’s, but he could still feel their emotions inside you. It was raw. There were no clear thoughts. Even the emotions would pile over each other. Hungry, tired, anxious, hyper, mad, happy. It was almost like there was more than one consciousness in there, but he just figured it was your own heartbeat and emotions clouding the baby's.

Hormones were wild between you both. You wanted sex more than you ever had before, and at first he was all for it. Being the mother of his unborn child brought out a desire that was utterly foreign to him. Yeah he loved you to death before, but now… he couldn't keep his hands off of you. The first few months it was wild, but the bigger you got the more worried he was that something could happen if he lost control. Okay, well, as long as he was careful right? But, things did not go exactly to plan when a firm kick pressed on his erm… Needless to say it certainly freaked him out. Then came the morning sickness.

Fuck whatever liar came up with that name. “Morning”? Try morning, noon, night, and the ass crack of dawn. Twenty-four seven. He hated seeing you hugging a trash bin, panting between excruciating heaves that made your stomach spasm. Paul could only hold your hair back while you gurgled out sobs. It was even harder knowing he was partially responsible for putting you in this position to begin with. Afterwards he’d carry you back to your bed. Yeah, bed. All the guys had felt that you needed something way better than a couch to crash on. There were more pillows and blankets than you could count. Piles on the bed, scattered on the floor, stacked up in the corners. With a bit of searching they’d found a pocket-cave branching just off their own that kept you out of sight and even better, nearby. What Paul really couldn’t account for was how frickin’ clumsy you were! 

Oops you just banged your knee! Well looks like you accidentally nicked your hand while peeling a freaking apple! Paul nearly ripped a guys head off for bumping into you on the boardwalk just to cut in line with his stupid friends. Eventually he just refused to leave your side during the second trimester when he found a bruise on your stomach. You didn’t have the heart to tell him those were from the baby kicking. While the guys went hunting he’d just lay beside you in bed gushing over your taut belly. The baby always stirred when he spoke, even more so when he’d serenade them. His voice always made your face heat up, and inside you could feel your child eagerly pressing up. While Paul was certainly uneasy about his encroaching parenthood he was over the moon the first time the baby really kicked. Even if it seemed scary he was so excited he could hardly sleep most nights. Every day he'd wonder when they'd get here, bombarding you with thousands of questions.

"Do you think they'll have your eyes? I bet if it's a boy he'll be a bad ass like his dad, huh," he asked. There was almost a glee to his voice, it was so adorable to watch him shed that panic for just a moment to fantasize about the baby. Anything. Teaching them to play guitar, taking them on their first hunt. He didn't care if it was a boy or girl. Part of you really hoped it'd be a little girl. 

“They probably won’t get any eye color until the fifth month I think,” you’d remind him, flipping through the aged pages of a baby book. "I do know if it is a boy he's gonna be so much like you."

"Unless it's a girl," he pondered, tapping your belly like it was an over ripe melon, watching it stirr with life. "Oh god you'll break so many hearts. But no boyfriends. Or girlfriends. Only dad."

"Babe thats not gonna be for years," you assured, petting his head. "You can't keep them from dating when they're old enough."

"Uh, the fuck I can't," he retorted, his hand kicked again. "Yeah I said it. No dating for you"

As they grew you could feel something was.. Off. Granted you couldn’t do much to check but, it almost felt like there was more than one heartbeat...

Your due date was slowly rolling closer as summer shed it's long, hot days for the chilled season of autumn. Tonight was a late, stormy October night. Most of Santa Carla was holed up at home hoping it wouldn’t rain tomorrow on Halloween. Paul grumbled slurping at a blood bag laying on his side as he propped his head on his hand, currently bored out of his mind while you carved at a pumpkin with Marko. 

“I think it needs more teeth,” you’d say to yourself out loud.

Marko peeked over, titling his head to the side. “More eyes too.”

All the guys decided to stay back tonight. It wasn’t just the rain, all of them were nervous to leave you alone. None of them were doctors, but even they could tell your stomach was much bigger than expected. Dwayne was flipping through an old book while David had just gotten back from a hunt. 

Ever since you hit your third trimester each of them took turns gathering blood. A few blood bags alone would not cover it for four hungry vampires and an honorary vamp who had a ton of cravings. Instead they'd carry four or five empty milk jugs that'd be filled to the brim with sloshing, goopy red fluid. 

"Guys, you oughta go get something to eat, you don't need to watch me twenty-four seven," you insist, carefully dragging the knife through the thick gourd's flesh. 

"This wasn't up for debate last time, it’s still not now," David retorted, tossing one of the jugs Dwayne's way. Marko caught a second one, eagerly knocking back a swig. The sight made you want to throw up again. It was slow, like a thick molasses dyed crimson with globs of congealed plasma. Okay looking at the pumpkin again before you had to puke. 

"Don't worry about us, Y/N," Marko insisted with red stained teeth, tossing the now half empty jug to Paul. "It's only a few more months. Blood is blood."

Paul stood up, swooping behind you with his arms around your shoulders. "Speakin' of blood kitten, you need to eat." You looked at the jug as he set it on the table and immediately scrunched up your nose. Now, it'd been seven and a half months of drinking it, so you'd gotten used to the bizarre taste of salty, vinegary cherries with a metallic aftertaste. It always made your body heat up, the feeling itself was better than any booze you'd tried. But the texture. Oh god the fricking texture! Blobby, goopy, slimy- no! 

"Uuuugh," you hesitated, only to have Marko push it towards you. “Can’t I just have a raw steak or something, it’s not nearly as gnarly as straight blood.”

"Don't be picky, you need to eat."

You glanced back at Paul who was just pouting behind you. "Come on babes, drink up."

Once again. Thick, soupy but warm fluids ran down the back of your throat. Everything felt heated, spreading from your stomach to each of your limbs. This time you felt an ache in the base of your abdomen. It was enough to incite a small gasp. And with that suddenly each of them had sat up. 

"What's wrong, what's going on," Paul quickly asked, placing a hand over your stomach. 

Marko had stood up, looking at you with a furrowed brow. "Is it-?"

"Guys, guys," you interrupt. "I'm okay, I swear. It was just a cramp."

It wasn't even a surprise when Paul lifted you up again bridal-style. "Paul,c’mon, I’m fine, really."

"Nope, nope I am not even risking that shit babes. C'mon kitten I'll lay with ya," he insisted, kicking anything on the floor out of his way. But again it ached. This time it lasted two minutes. You clung to him, trying to take a breath. This wasn’t your average false contraction that would only occur maybe every hour. "Paul- Paul it's not stopping."

"Wait wait wait what," Paul asked in rapid following, gently setting you down. Marko had gotten up to help you stand with Paul on the other side. A sharp pain wrapped around your waist. Now another two minutes. It was enough to make you double over with your hands over your stomach. 

"Shit oh shit wait hold on." Paul was in a panic. He wasn't ready! The baby wasn't supposed to be there for another month! It was too soon! 

You, on the other hand, were far too busy trying to keep yourself standing. It wasn't just your abdomen. It was your stomach, all the way up your back, your womb felt like it was being torn open from inside. Dwayne jumped over the sofa when the two blondes failed to move, lifting you up. Your jeans were soaked, sharp pains were faster, harder, any time another contraction squeeze you let out an agonized cry. 

They all made a mad dash for your room, propping you up against a pile of pillows. "No,  no wait, don't look," you insisted to the others as Paul tried to help you get your soggy jeans off.

"I'm about to help you push a baby out, and you're getting embarrassed by us seeing your underwear," Dwayne questioned

"Shut up, turn your fuckin head," Paul snapped. Carefully he draped a blanket over your legs, pulling off your jeans. There was utter fear across his face. He was so afraid of what this could do to you.

 "Hey.. its okay," you assured him, cupping his face. Well, okay was a bit of an overstatement. Still, the tender touch seemed to provide some small ease as he placed his hand over yours. Again, you assured him it'd all be okay. Marko came running in with a bucket of warm water, David was grumbling about carrying over a mountain of towels, Dwayne leaned over Paul tapping him hard on the back of his shoulder. "Paul you need to check how dilated she is."

"WHAT?"

It was time for both of you chiming in disbelief. "No no, wait Dwayne man, I can't-!"

"If she pushes before she's ready, the baby will get hurt in the process," he interrupted him, grabbing Paul by his shoulders. "You gotta do it, man, I can't do it for you."

"The fuck, why me?!"

"Paul?!" It was your turn to question his logic and the blonde threw up his hands, clutching at his head trying to think.

"I'm sorry! I'm panicking!"

"Dude Paul," Marko shouted.

"What?!"

"Listen, man, this can't be good for either of them. Nut up, dude," he assured him, patting his back. Paul looked at you, still trembling on your bed. You were just as scared as him, bottom lip trembling, he could even see your shoulders shaking. "...okay…" 

The feeling was so uncomfortable. You couldn't even focus between the throbbing pains that shot up your back and the tearing pull between your legs. Tears burned your eyes, you thought you might pass out. Marko was rapidly wiping away sweat from your face, letting you hold his hand. Even if you broke it, unlikely, it'd heal in an hour anyways. 

"Okay how many fingers can you manage," Dwayne asked, getting a strange look from Paul. "Just tell me how many, you asshole.:

"It's like, all my fingers man I dunno what that means."

"Go to her man, I got this," he assured, pushing him up to you. Paul climbed up on the bed beside you holding you tightly in his arms with your shoulder nestled against his armpit with one arm over your shoulder and the other you immediately snatched his hand, panting rapidly. "Shh slow down baby, slow down."

"God it fucking hurts," you whine, throwing your head back on the pillow. Blood stained the bed, a thick pink-red spot on the blanket spreading out. Your face was completely flushed as a tight pressure slowly dragged down your back that made your toes curl. If Paul wasn't pinning you in place you would be writhing. There was a horrid fire in your body, there were no words left in you, only screams. Dwayne's urges to push were muffled, the ache in you back slowly pulled lower until you were able to hear them. A thick gurgle followed by high pitched, raspy wailing. While Dwayne had pulled the infant into a thick, fluffy towel something felt wrong. It still hurt. Your stomach felt no relief, in fact you felt it pull and ache again. "Wa...wait i.. no it's-it's not done, I'm not done," you whimper in a panic.

"Wait what the hell do you mean you aren’t done?! I thought there was just one?!”

Paul looked over at Dwayne, who in turn ran to David and passed the swaddled newborn his way much to his dismay. “Just hold them for a minute man, we weren’t exactly expecting more!

“I got it,” Marko volunteered, climbing off to bed to hold the baby carefully in his grasp. Your screams tore through, a second wave of pain reviving old agony. There was little relief as the same horrid tension in your back spread out. Paul coaxed you through it, but somehow it hurt even worse than before.

“No,” you cried, shaking your head. Your face burned, tears streaming down your face leaving your vision completely blurry. “No no no, I can’t, let me go! I can't, I can’t! Paul, I can’t-!”

“Baby, listen you can do this! You got this, yes you fucking do,” he yelled over you holding your head to his shoulder. “Listen to me. C’mon you fucking got this, kitten! Don’t you give up, don’t you dare fucking give up now!”

With everything you had you screamed until your throat felt raw, pushing as hard as you could until finally, finally… it stopped. A huge wave of relief made your muscles go limp. Two. You just had given birth. To twins. The realization had finally hit Paul asw he looked up at Marko still holding his first born. “Are they…”

“Dude, you got a girl,” he beamed, carefully passing the swollen new born half-awake clinging to the towel. Occasionally her grey eyes squinted open, making trembling whimpers until she nestled back into sleep.

You managed to catch your breath, Marko helping you lay down while Dwayne circled around with your son. A boy too. You couldn’t help but laugh through tears, finally able to see his face after so many months of waiting. Paul couldn’t even hold back tears, laughing like an idiot as he pulled you both in his arms. “Fuck man… oh shit I’m a fucking dad,” he choked out, trying to hide his tears.

“Let it out man,” Marko teased, patting his shoulders.

“Shit man I can't stop crying... they’re so perfect.” Paul ran a hand gently over his son’s head still softly crying in your arms, watching him soothed as he clung to his finger. He looked you in the eyes, both of you just in utter awe that you brought not one, but two lives to the world. Nothing but tears and smiles between you. It was October 31st, 2 am, and you had spent the past four and a half hours of Hell to bring your twins (Girl Name) and (Boy name). Paul could not even fathom the amount of love he was feeling, trailing kisses all over your lips and cheeks. “Happy Halloween, kitten.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, laying your head back against his chest just unable to tear your eyes away from your beautiful new family after so many hours of grueling pain, so much waiting, in the end it was worth more than either of you had ever dreamed.

 “Happy Halloween, babe…”

[rogue-barnes-16]

WHEN YOU COME BACK (part II/II)

Summary: After months of being friends with benefits, the dangerous agreement backfires and Bucky’s feelings for Y/n are exposed. Instead of talking it out, they make the situation worse, and it might get more difficult after a dangerous mission.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Genre: angst w/ a pleasant ending

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language, injuries

A/N: here it is my dudes. It was, for some reason I can't understand, heavily inspired by When the party's over by Billie Eilish, Haunted by Melanie Martinez, and What about us by P!nk. Just a little curiosity for y'all, hope you enjoy <3.

Part I

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

That night that we accidentally found each other in a shitty bar on our way out of Stark's house after Tony and Natasha's funeral, we shouldn't have lost control.

We wouldn't be in this situation, maybe I would haven't fallen that hard for him, and maybe he wouldn't think he loves me now.

We probably would be friends, close friends, or at least regular people who don't have to hide that they're sleeping with each other.

"Hey there, stranger." his voice was broken. He stumbled to the booth I was occupying, and I realized he was somehow as drunk as me. "rough week?"

"rough five years." I corrected him, sniffing. "It doesn't seem to get better." I felt the lump in my throat mixed with my hoarse voice as I chucked another shot of tequila. When I looked up at him, I noticed how red her eyes were. "what's wrong?"

"A lot." he replied, easing his position to rest against the backrest of the booth. "Never got to tell Natalia I remember." he shrugged. "Also wanted to... Apologize to Stark. Didn't get the chance to." he shut his eyes.

"Somethin' else." I stated more than questioned. "it's somethin' else."

He hesitated before looking at me with glassy eyes "can I tell you a secret?" I nodded lazily, muttering an 'always'. "Steve's leaving."

"What?" I frowned, sitting upright. "Where?"

He shook his head no with a sad smile in his face, a sad smile that held little happiness and too much sorrow. "When, not where."

"Director Carter..." I spoke in low voice, and Bucky nodded at me. I looked down, not knowing what to say. "at least he's got his happy ending."

"Yeah." tears streamed down his face as he drank from what I recognized as Thor's flask. "I'm happy for him." I tilted my head in disbelief and he denied slowly. "I really am."

"It's just the two of us now, Bucky." I whispered leaning against the wall to face him. "you should be selfish once in a while" I advised, scooting closer to him. "say what you think, no matter who gets hurt." our thighs were brushing as I leaned on him a little too close to whisper something in his ear. "you don't owe anything to this fucked up world."

His head spun and our eyes met. "I don't." he affirmed, letting his hand drop to my thigh as mines traveled to his hair. "you don't either." he bit his lip and I sighed. "You don't have to be strong all the time."

"what...?" I questioned quietly, too focused on his lips to even process what he was saying.

"Allow yourself to cry for 'em doll." his mutter made me let out a strained, shaky breath, remembering why I had hidden in a bar in order to numb my pain, remembering why I hadn't stayed with the rest in Pepper's house. "It's just the two of us now, Y/n..."

I looked up at him through glassy, blurred eyes just to see his in the same state. His eyes flickered to my lips, just like mines had been staring St him that whole time, and something took over the both of us.

It was probably the sadness, at least partially, and the thinking that losing more wasn't possible anymore, what made us close the gap in a sloppy, needy kiss, which would be the first of many, that night and the followings.

I had desperately wanted to apologize to Bucky for two days, in hopes of getting our friendship back.

I figured he didn't inform me he was back because he didn't want to see me, and that mere thought made my heart shrink until it physically hurt.

I was getting dressed when my phone buzzed. "Sam?" I called him, utterly confused. Sam rarely phoned me, he would just show up at my door. "what's wrong?"

"The mission went wrong. So fucking wrong." I couldn't ask about Bucky before he resumed his narration. "Listen to me carefully, 'cause he made me promise I wouldn't tell you shit."

"what- why?" I inquired, sitting down in my couch.

"Those fuckers were shooting me, there was no way I could dodge all of 'em, and that dumbass jumped in fucking front of me." his voice was strained due to the anger and the worry, and I felt my heart pounding against my chest. "he received two bullets. He's in the Avengers' private hospital. Pepper got us in."

"he what..." I was already grabbing my things to rush there, but he spoke again.

"you can't come, he'll kill me if he sees you here." Sam pointed out.

"why the fuck are you telling me then, Wilson?" it was desperate, and it was shaky, but I managed to get that question put of me without breaking.

"What the hell? 'Cause you're good for him, and I don't want you to think he dumped whatever you guys have." I stood there, my mouth in agape at his words. "Sharon's telling me she'll take care of the paperwork so we can go home in a couple of days."

"okay..."

"Go see him at his apartment on... Monday." he advised me. "at 9 pm, he won't have an excuse to avoid you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite the fact that he knew I would definitely not forget about the day and the time he had told me, on Sunday Sam called to remind me it, and also to inform me that he had just left Bucky’s apartment. He was now there resting, and would be until tomorrow morning.

On Monday, at 9 pm I was carefully knocking on Bucky’s door, and he answered in no time.

"Sam, you better bring Chinese food you promised or-" he stood there, resting all his weight against the door and the door frame, taking in the fact that I was there. "Fuck..."

I had planned a whole speech, apologizing for what I had said in a thousand different ways, telling him how much I didn't want to lose him, and maybe, just maybe, confessing my feelings about him.

But everything was gone the moment I saw his bruises, his bandaged body under the tee, peeking out of the collar, the way he barely could stand upright.

Everything was gone. "what the fuck..."

"he told you, didn't he?" I couldn't even look at him in the eye, but I just knew he didn't either, just by how hurt and tired his voice sounded. "that's why you're here."

"I—"

"I'm fine Y/n..." he assured me, bitterness fading from his voice the second he started to sympathize with how I must be feeling, the second he imagined the situation reverted. The way guilt and fear most likely would have been killing him slowly. "I just need a few days to heal... You don't need to—"

He gasped when I my arms embraced him almost desperately as I tried to convince myself that I wouldn't lose him. "I swear on my fuckin' life, Barnes—" I choked on my words and he wrapped his arms around me not without closing the door to rest his back against it. "don't do this to me alright?" he took a deep breath with his nose buried on my crown as his thumbs caressed both my back and my shoulder. "don't-- I can't lose you... Not you-- please not you."

I didn't realize I was sobbing until I didn't feel my tears on his shirt. "You won't" ha assured me, trying to keep his voice uniform for me not to notice that he was crying too. "I'll heal soon, don't worry." his breath was sharp as he squeezed my body against him, despite the pain that he most probably was feeling. "I got you."

I pulled away when my hands accidentally sneak under his shirt and felt the bandages. "you gotta lay down."

"yeah, you're probably right."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"If you're here to apologize 'cause you feel guilty or bad... Don't." he requested, looking up at me from my lap. "you really don't need to." his voice slowly started to drop when I ran my hands through his hair. "It was my fault... I shouldn't have... Said..."

"I love you."

"yeah."

"No, Bucky." I stopped my motions and looked at him dead in the eye. "I love you. I have done for a long time." he was quiet. "When you said... I really didn't wanna believe it... I don't know I just—" I sighed, shutting my eyes and leaning against the backrest. "I don't-- I don't wanna lose more people that I love and if I didn't say it out loud, I felt-" I took a deep breath, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. "I felt like I wouldn't lose--"

I didn't even feel when he had propped himself up to reach me, I only felt his velvety soft lips against mine in the most loving, sweet kiss I had ever had.

"I get it, but we... We gotta be brave." he stated, laying down again with a wince, gazing into my now open eyes. "we don't have regular lives... And I didn't wanna say it out loud either but... I- I needed you to know." I nodded, letting my fingers ran through his short hair once more. "I don't wanna lose you, but let's be honest, that possibility exist, and..." his voice started to drop again, slowly being lulled by my touch. "I'd rather having you know how much... How much you mean to me... Than regretting not... Tellin' ya all my life..."

"You're right." I replied, leaning over to peek his lips, and then his forehead. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted... I really, really am." my thumb rubbed lazily his forehead as my eyes observed him with the love I finally was able to disclose.

"Y/n." I hummed. "lay down with me, please." he requested, lifting for my to move my legs. "I wanna hug you again." I complied without hesitation, being careful not to hurt him. "I love you." He whispered in my ear, pulling me up to rest half of my body over him.

"I love you too."

[lovethisletters]

Hi! Again I must say: I’m sorry for taking so long, things got complicated but now I have little bit of time…besides I’m wery picky with translations (as you would see in a moment). Anyway, I was very much excited for and while writing this, since I found myself to be very fond of Faith and her relationship with Tim (they’re the cutest) so I tried my best!

Ps: The title of “Refuge” doesn’t have that much relevance in this scenario, is just the title of the song I was listening to while writing this (I think it describes perfectly how Tim’s and Faith relationship might evolve); in case you listen to it but aren’t really familiar with spanish language, here it is subtitled! But there’s minor errors on the translation:

1.     "Eres como el sol caliente y yo soy marte" wich means "You're like the warm sun and I'm like mars".

2.     "Soy desordenado cuando quiero" the word quiero/querer in spanish can mean several things, normally indicating the yearning of something in a possesive (I want this to myself) or romantic (like: I love you)/aspirational (like: I want to become a writer) way (depends on context) so the most adecute in this case will be "I'm sloppy when I am in love" not "when I want" here is a little deffinition. 

3.     The most correct wording in "let me be, I'll help you" would be in fact: "Let me, I will help you".

 Pairing: Faith O’Neal (@insideoflit OC) x Tim Drake

Summary: Faith is tormented by her past to the point of being unable to sleep and have an anxiety attack, so Tim helps her get through it.

♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤

 12:22 am

...

1:18 am

...

2:48 am

...

3:04 am

Her head registered every digit drawn on the clock next to his bed, counting every time she woke up;  but something within herself knew that I'd had been more than just 4. Her eyes weighed, but her mind did not stop, she kept thinking ... remembering and everything at the worst moment.

Maybe it had been 5 or at most 8 nights in a row without being able to sleep completely, but in fact, she really didn't remember the last time she had slept peacefully.  Months or even years ago?

She only knew that the situation had gone from bad to worse ...

What she thought was a simple period of insomnia which would most likely disappear a week later, became part of his routine, which had stopped bothering her a long time ago: intrusive thoughts, impossible variations in hidden memories and unanswered questions that would often come and go and multiplied in the dead of night.

And yet this time it was different ... it was a living nightmare.

The intrusive thoughts had quickly escalated and evolved to such extent that they now resonated aggressively, scratching the walls of his head, digging through everything she wanted to forget and shouting at her so that she could feel it in the depths of his being.

An imaginary pain that threatened to break his little head.

In.  That.  Exact.  Instant.

She felt his breath cut short at the thought of having to get used to all this, his chest full of emotions and an uncontrollable feeling of despair.

That's why she didn't think of anything other than running, rising abruptly from the bed, barely giving his brain time to process the situation;  she ran, as fast as his legs allowed her, she didn't care at all if they were going to break… she just wanted to escape from all that and ignore that past she had unintentionally remembered.

The smell of petricor invading her senses causing a feeling of anguish, seeing those memories instantly regain strength and torturing her in such a ruthless way...

—Hey! Be careful!— her thoughts abruptly interrupted to the feeling of his body collide and almost fall to the ground, if not thanks to the arm clinging to her waist preventing her fall.

—Are you ok?—Tim's eyes invaded by an expression of genuine concern, trying to search the answer to her irrational behaviour.

She was so immersed in her thoughts that she didn't even realize the moment she reached the garden and much less had noticed Tim standing in the middle of it…like some creepy scarecrow or something…

—I ...— His mind still not quite at the moment allowed for her words to float in the air in a sloppy way.

Tim looked at the girl carefully, trying to decipher what had put her in that state: her hair slightly disheveled by the gentle flushing of the wind, a cold sweat running down her forehead, eyes flushed, her pajamas had gotten a little dirty  due to his small race in the humidity of the night and his bare feet hugging the muddy floor.

—Come, you're going to get sick like this!— He reproached her gently trying not to overwhelm her as much as possible and guiding her back inside.

The living-room of the mansion was empty, wrapped in the cozy sound of silence; indicating the absence of most of its inhabitants.

Tim told Faith to sit by pointing at the couch with a slight nod, which she obeyed.

—Wait here—he ordered again, before disappearing down the hall that led to one of the many bathrooms and returning moments later with a pair of clean towels, leaving one of them over her head, with a small mischievous smile.

—Don't run like that, Faith, you could have slipped and gotten hurt…—He said kneeling in front of her, his hands on the towel shaking it slightly in an attempt to help her dry.

His calm voice hiding the reality of his restlessness.  She knew…knew she had worried him ... And that look only confirmed it, she had already seen it many times, maybe more than she should;  but it was something she could not avoid and that frustrated her greatly.

But Tim was always characterized by being perceptive and soon noticed the expression of guilt on Faith's face.

—Hey ... It’s ok—The Boy reassured by staring at her, still smiling, because he wanted her to really feel safe.

Tim knew that Faith had trouble sleeping, he knew perfectly the symptoms of insomnia: he had noticed the lights of her room stay on until dawn, dark circles highlighting her beautiful big eyes, her clumsy movements during the day, lack of concentration and had even once heard Bruce scolding her because of her teacher's multiple complaints accusing her of sleeping in class.

But she would never admit it… she "didn't want to be a bother"

Tim allowed himself to caress Faith's cheek, gently and delicately as if she were some kind of porcelain doll about to break.

—Do you want to talk about it?

Faith thought briefly before her eyes began to fill with tears that threatened to slip away.

—No, not really ...— A glimmer of guilt was noticeable in her response.

—It’s Okay. Don't feel like you have to—followed by those words, Tim felt the need to hug her;  his arms carefully surrounded Faith's small figure.

—Just know I'm always going to be here for you — his chin resting slightly on her head partially covered by the towel.

The tears that she had forced herself to hide, began to escape silently with an air of cynicism.

—Dammit— she cursed under her breath.

Noticing this, he quickly bent down again to wipe away her tears with his hands.

Faith was a strong, but stubborn person, many times denying herself the idea of ​​asking for help and this was no exception;  she didn't want Tim to see her that way, in her most vulnerable state;  but she also didn't want to leave, despite all the crying, she found Tim's company very much comforting.

So… she stood there, allowing herself to be vulnerable in front of other people for once in a really long time.

After a few minutes (maybe even more) when she had no more tears left, Tim spoke again.

—It's getting late, you should be asleep and unless Riddler is entertaining the bat, Bruce will be here at any minute and I don't want him to scold you for staying up so late, you have class tomorrow, right?

Faith nodded, releasing a small chuckle upon hearing Drake's motherly but bossy tone.

—Whatever you say, mom — emphasizing the word "mom" on a goofy manner.

He rolled the eyes pretending to be offended but without making the least of attempts to hide his own amusement.

—Go to your room, dummy!—

She raised her hands as if she were being arrested before turning around and running upstairs followed by Tim, who was also heading to his room.  However, something stopped her once she was standing in front of the door of her own room.

She didn't want to be alone ... at least not for tonight ...

A small knock on Tim's door caught his attention off of his monitors, at first he thought it was Alfred about to scold him like every other night for not sleeping or Damian who had arrived from patrol early and couldn't find Titus favorite chewing toy.

But no… there in the door frame stood Faith with a pillow under her arm and a slightly shy smile.

—You're supposed to be asleep.

—Right back at ya — she replayed quickly.

—I’m not the one who has to save his grades on algebra tomorrow, Faith—he said, reminding her of his test in the morning.

—Yeah, well… truth is… I can't sleep…

Her voice barely even believing herself.

—Can I… can I stay here? —Tim flushed wildly almost at the exact moment he heard those words come out of her mouth.

—I… Um.  Yeah  Yeah, sure — tripping on his own words he stepped clumsily into the side in order to let her in.

Tim's room was both a mess and incredibly clean… his desk was the messy part, probably because he spend a lot of his time glued to his computer to the point Alfred sometimes had to brake in and almost drag him outside to eat like a normal human  being instead of just feeding off of energy bars and coffee.

In comparison was the side of the bead, it was so clean. Everything looked almost brand new, since he barely slept and when he did it was just very quick naps before patrol.

—Make yourself comfortable— he signaled the bed before putting back on his headphones and to whatever he was doing.

—Aren't you going to sleep?— Faith asked as she settled between the sheets.

Tim was silent for a moment, trying to find an answer.

—Well ... maybe just for a little while…—

He finally spoke before joining Faith, keeping a adequate distance, which Faith quickly ignored by hugging him unexpectedly, burying his face in the boy's chest.

—Good night, Tim.—

Tim thanked the lights were off, otherwise Faith would have seen his face as red as a tomato.  The girl's touch was comforting and warm so he didn't think twice before reciprocating the hug and planting a small kiss on her head.

—Good night, Faith.

[obsessivestar]

Steamy Love (A Tom Hiddleston x Reader) Chapter 22: ~Gossip~

Summary: Now that filming has officially wrapped, you and Tom can get to the interviews! Though your first one takes an odd turn. A turn you refuse to let end on a bad note.

Warnings: Trash talk towards a certain ex of Tom Hiddleston.

Read it on my Wattpad: Wattpad.com/HiddlesStar

Word count: 1412

Tags: @theoneanna @midnightdragonzero @drakesfiance @kcd15 @ihthr @deviantsendbyreallife @bookgirlunicorn @cherrygeek86

After a couple more days, your friend returned home. The first couple days without them here really reminded you of home, and how much you missed it. You could really feel the homesickness creeping in. You're sure Tom had noticed it too, but you two never talked about it. Y'all still have amazing sex, of course, and your doubts nearly melt away anytime he looks at you, or smiles, or laughs, or blinks...

You may be in love with him. You're still not exactly sure, but something's there. Something stronger than before.

A couple more weeks went by. Filming was completely done, though you and Tom were asked to stay in the area for another month, just in case you needed to do reshoots. Tom's hair had really grown by the end of the month. You knew he was keeping it long partially for Betrayal, the Harold Pinter play he is said to star in. His beard was more ginger than you thought it'd be, though he'd always remind you that he always had a lot of natural ginge in his hair as a teen. You were so used to him with brown hair. You liked the beard, though. His jaw looked hella nice with it. You've just been kinda stroking it when you lay together in bed, among other things on him.

You and Tom weren't entirely done with the film, though. Now were some of the fun parts of starring in a film.

The interviews!

You and Tom had one scheduled later for today. You've never been in an interview like this before, so you were a little nervous. Tom was calming you down and explaining how it works.

...I mean, you were laying in bed naked with him, so it was easy for him to calm you.

"I promise you, the interviewers I've had have always been very polite. They're very kind people." Tom reassured you, softly caressing your bare arm as he held you against his chest.

"I just hope I don't make a fool out of myself.." You admitted, nuzzling his chest some. "And I hope that I'm not ignored...but I also want some attention, y'know?.." You chuckled a bit. "Oh man, I really didn't think I'd get to this point..."

"What, the interview? Or laying here naked with me for the 20th day in a row?" Tom asked jokingly, making you chuckle again.

"The interview, smartass.." You nudged Tom, making him laugh a bit."I just hope I get it right."

"Well, there's no real way to get an interview 'wrong', unless you're just rude.." Tom replied. "Which I highly doubt you'd be."

"But what if I get a question wrong? Or can't answer a certain question because it might be spoilery?" You asked with a slight pout.

"Then I'll answer it for you." Tom smiled. "Interviews like the ones we're going to are pretty edited when they air. Any fumbles will surely be edited out. I promise you.."

You gave a little smile, giving him a soft peck on the lips. "Your voice is soothing to listen to.." You admitted. You genuinely felt better already, just because of his voice.

"Oh?.." He smiled at you, pecking the side of your head. "You like my voice?.." His tone changed, becoming slightly mischievous.

"Hey, relax, big dog.." You spoke up, turning your head to look at him with a smile. "I'm still sore from before.."

"It's getting harder everyday to resist.." Tom admitted with a smirk. "But you're right.."

You smiled, carefully moving away and getting out of bed.

"Maybe when we get back.." Tom added, getting out of bed to get dressed as well.

You just rolled your eyes playfully and laughed. You love that he's always wanting to be all over you. You hope he keeps the bedroom eyes to himself at the interview, though part of you wants to see it if he can't help it.

You guys got dressed and headed to the location where the interview would take place. Movie posters or anything haven't been publically released yet, so the only photos of you two on that back wall just a single still straight from the outside set.

You got to meet the interviewer after a short wait. It was a woman, which is pretty common, and she seemed super nice. She really got along with Tom, though everyone seems to get along with Tom. You could tell she was a little more focused than him rather than you, but you understood why. He was a much bigger celebrity than you were. You were fine if she chose to ask him most of the questions.

When the interview started, she introduced herself to you two, giving both of you a friendly handshake. Her name was Sarah. The chairs you got to sit in were a little small, but they weren't uncomfortable.

"Hi! It's very nice to meet you two!" She greeted you both with an on camera hand shake, giving a big smile. She had bright purple lipstick on that didn't really match the rest of her makeup, but you didn't judge. Maybe that's just a style or something.

The questions that were asked were, as expected, mostly directed at Tom. There were a couple questions you were both able to answer, though, like what to expect from the movie, what both of your favourite on set moment was, if there's gonna be any steamy bits. You happily answered that last one, remembering in the back of your head how odd the scene was to actually film.

Having actually slept with Tom beforehand, you could tell in the moment that his pants and moans were indeed an act, though you'd be lying if you didn't get a little heated during the whole thing. The crew just thought it was excellent acting, thankfully.

One of the last questions were about that iconic sudden kiss at the clothing shop a couple weeks back, when unbeknownst to anyone else, you had been in a bad argument with Tom beforehand, and that kiss was proof of your feelings for one another being real. Being genuine.

It seemed like a pretty harmless question, until...

"Do you feel like this new relationship will have consequences on future opportunities?" The interviewer asked Tom, who was a little confused by the question.

"What do you mean?" He asked curiously.

"Well, I mean, for example, if I may compare this to your previous relationship with famous singer Taylor Swift..." Sarah began. As she said that, you felt an anxious pit in your stomach. You felt a little sick. Really? Why mention her? Why now? This was going so well before this.

"...While she is not known for being in the acting biz, like the wonderful (Y/N) here, she was definitely more up on your level as a celebrity.."

You could see Tom was trying not to get upset by that, but you recognized that look in his eye. That look of disappointment.

You decided to take control of this interview for a change.

"Look, I don't know that chick personally, but when was the last time she wrote about something other than her ex's?" You asked, leaning forward some. "I mean, she has dozens of songs, right? Lotta albums sold? How many dead roses are in her closet by now?"

You could hear the few crew members in the back either hold back from laughing, or clearly break out in quiet chuckles amoungst each other.

"Am I wrong?" You looked around with a chuckle. "You wanna know what Tom doesn't have to worry about? Me throwing away his gifts and signs of affection for a new word document on my expensive laptop.."

You could tell the interviewer was rather shocked to hear that, though it was hard to tell if she was personally offended or impressed. Tom was clearly hiding a smile. He was definitely impressed, and was shifting around to stop himself from laughing. That meant a lot to him.

"That's a wrap!" Someone on set called, allowing the interviewer to give one final awkward goodbye before walking off with her paper. Tom looked at you, giving a slight chuckle.

"I really hope they leave that in.." He admitted, making you smile brightly.

You made sure to ask the right person for a copy of the full, unedited interview just before you and Tom would return home. You couldn't wait to tell the stream chat about this tomorrow.

[neothebean]

mane-of-kurls replied to your post “Can someone do me a favor, all I need you to do is come to my house,...”

Maybe draw the metaphorical manifestation of what's going on?

It’s not that I don’t have ideas/the desire to draw, I’m just....really, really tired haha....I actually really want to draw, but the thought of doing anything more strenuous than playing an easy video game is sort of soul-crushing atm

But that’s a great idea and I’m totally gonna do it sometime when I’m not mostly dead

[jlpat82]

Not Our Home

Chapter 4

I sat at the cash register the next day, Elise was off and I had no one to talk to. So far I had managed to avoid the fat cat, which was a lot easier then I thought it would be. My cheek throbbed and my side was tender. I flipped through the newspaper, half reading, half daydreaming.

An article caught my attention, Two underlings found slain! I continued to read in horror. One of the men had his throat ripped out to point of partial decapitation. The second of the two, his lower half was found ten feet from his torso. They were found at six am in tube number 36. The police were searching for witnesses but were expecting grim results.

I hadn't taken the tubes this morning, I was running late and hopped a tunnel. I broke out in a cold sweat when remembered I left my work shoes in the tube, shit. This was getting worse.

It was then I looked up and saw two officers talking with my boss. I couldn't hear the conversation but his body language was clear as day. He was angry, his face was red and he shaking his head.

"Excuse me." A stern high pitched female voice snapped me back to my senses. "Is this lane open?"

"Yeah, sorry." I started to ring her items, I glanced over. "What's going on?"

"I don't know!" She scoffed at me, her triangle was facing up, great an upper class. "Some low life goes and get himself killed and everything turns upside down. They should be praising the person that did it. Less scum breathing the air."

"Oh." I finished her order and sent her on her way. I looked over, the cops were gone and so was Robert.

"Julianne to the office please." The over head system shouted. I had a perfectly good phone at my station and he chose to over head me. I locked my till and started the slow trek to his office.

Opening his office door I was hit with a putrid smell of body odor and moldy cheese. I felt my stomach turn, papers stacked knee high in all corners of the room. Robert's desk was covered in porn magazines and crumbs of food.

"Sir?" I asked, wanting nothing more then to run away.

"So, you have yourself in a bit of a pickle." He grinned, his teeth were uneven and yellow. He licked his thin greasy lips, while running his hands over his bald crown.

"I don't understand." He arced a wiry eyebrow at me and ran his hand down the front of his rust colored polo. Crumbs rolled down his pot belly to the floor.

"Your work shoes were found in the side tube." He crossed his hands on the crest of his pudge. "Everyone here knows you walk that tube to work and you recently started walking home at night."

"Last I heard there wasn't anything illegal about walk the tubes. In fact it's highly encouraged because of absorbing vitamin d from the sun." I replied trying to sound cool, to be honest I was nearing panic.

"You're very correct, however, we have proof you left that way last night. Your shoes are found there and you come to work looking like you've been in a fight."

"Yes, someone jumped me and stole my shoes. A small fight broke out and managed to escape and make it home." I tried to spin it around.

"You could tell them that, or I could tell them I over heard you confess to filleting them." A wicked grin broke across his waxy ruddy face.

"What?!"

"Unless you do as I ask, that's what I'll tell them." He stood slowly and waddled toward me. Robert only stood to my chin, but out weighted me by almost two hundred pounds. He tottled around behind me, and slid a fat finger across my bare arm and traced it across my back. "I mean, the alternative is death. So, you do as I ask, every little flavor until I get bored."

I felt like I was to hurl, I needed a boiling hot shower. This disgusting thing was touching me again, I knew what he wanted in exchange for his silence. I'd rather die then let him come anywhere near me in that manner.

"I know how you feel about me, so I'll let think about it tonight and then you can come agree to my terms tomorrow." I didn't respond, I turned and left. I rushed out of the office and out through the tube door, I had to breathe.

I saw the left over blood in the tube. It looked like an attempted to clean it had happened but gave up half way through. The sun was starting to set, the sky had a green tinge to it. I watched as the sand blew across the ground, swirling and dancing.

"Miss, this tube is closed." A gruff voice startled me, I looked over my shoulder. He was standing next to door, arms crossed. His sandy blonde hair peaked out from under his police issued hat. "How'd you get in here?"

"Um, I walked in." I replied meekly, starting towards him and the door, back the direction I had just come. His posture told me he wasn't a happy camper with my response. He had a body builder frame and piercing blue eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you in here?" He voiced echoed off the walls.

"My boss, he made a pass at me. Told me he'd spread hold rumors if I didn't do what he said. I just ran, I need to breathe. I didn't think when I went out the door. No body was guarding it." I tried to pass him. He stood in my way, using his baton to push my face up. He looked at my swollen cheek.

"What happened?" His eyes narrowed.

"I was jumped last night." Here we go, might as get this out of the way.

"Where?" The tube was starting to darken, night was upon us and a sliver of moon peaked again.

"Five feet that way." I pointed down the tube toward my place. There was no way a cop was going to believe I had the strength to rip another person in half.

"Who else was with you?" His body moved in a defensive stance.

"I was by myself. I kicked one of them, it managed to distract the other one and I was able to get away. They were both breathing last I knew." I lied slightly, I didn't move. He had his hand on his belt.

"You're the reason he's dead." That's when it occurred to me, that maybe I wasn't even talking to a cop.

"Who are you?" I took a step back.

"My brother was the one you ripped the throat out of. You sick twisted bitch." He took a heavy step towards me. I took another back.

"I didn't do anything to your brother. He attacked me."

"You shouldn't have been prowling the tubes at night. It's not safe, everyone knows this." He sneered, as keep he walking toward me. "He was working on getting clean. But you had tricked him up here with the promise of a new drug."

Drug? What drug? I just stared at him in completely disbelief.

"Don't play dumb, I found this on him." He tossed the vial of soil at me. Relief washed through my body. He didn't know what he had. "I contemplated arresting you but you wouldn't get what you deserve that way. Hooking innocent people on that shit, turning them into a shell of what they were. Nah, you deserve to suffer."

He took his badge off and dropped it the ground. Well, guess my day was only going to get worse from here. He took off his police vest and hat, I kept backing away slowly, trying not bring any attention to the fact I was trying to put as much of distance between us.

"It's fitting really, destroying you in the same tunnel you murdered him." He calmly stated, looking back to me. That when he hurled is body in my direction, charging at me with large strides. Quickly I spun around and darting to the opposite end of the tube. He was faster then I was and was on me by the time I reached the door.

El buffo grabbed my head and slammed it into the steal door. An explosion in my brain told me it would be a while before I saw straight. I felt my body be thrown back the way we had just ran from. To be honest I don't remember feeling my body land or much of what happened after ward.

I came to in my room, surrounded by darkness. My head throbbed, my stomach was turning over and over again. The room felt like it was spinning, I rolled to my side wrapping my hands around my temples and whimpered.

"Kid, trouble seems to follow you." He whispered, I leaned over my bed and dry heaved towards the floor. I didn't need to ask, I knew he saved me again. My guardian in the darkness. I leaned over and opened my nightstand drawer, pulling a bottle of white pills out. I dry swallowed two more illegal items.

"He thought I killed his brother." My own words bounced around in my skull, I pulled myself into ball clutching my head. The pain was excruciating, thoughts of death clouded my mind.

"He won't be bothering you."

"What did you do to him?" I whimpered as my body reminded me talking was not a wise idea. 

"Doesn't matter, he was a threat and that threat was eliminated." His tone was cold, I heard him move around the side of the bed. "I thought I told you to take it easy."

"I have been, what do you expect just to stop going to work?" The pain was starting ease, but I dared not to move.

"Call in sick." He knelt down in front of me.

"I don't know what you mean."

"When you don't feel good, you call into work saying you won't be there." He explained, his hand lightly brush my hair back.

"There is no such thing. You miss work you're sent to the factory, the only time you can miss work is if the doctors order you bed bound." Slowly I opened my eyes, his face was a mixture of confusion and concern.

"What has the world become?" He mumbled to himself.

"The world is ruled by people with money and power. We do what we can to survive, we find ways to cheat the system."

"How?"

"The underground. Some of us do illegal work to find ways to bring ourselves happiness, whether it's reading something other then books they allow or watching movies that are a hundred years old. It make life more tolerable." I sighed the pain was near gone, I rolled onto my back. He looked at me with sadness in his amber eyes." You want to see what I go through? You want to know how I keep from going crazy?"

"Show me." His reply was simple and I rolled off the bed, my vision swarmed and danced. I felt his hand on my elbow steadying me.

"Come with me." I grabbed a small brown leather satchel. My life line when it came to the underground. It contained more pepper spray, loose money, fictional pamphlets, and other random items to trade. 

He followed me as we left the darkened apartment. We walked down the empty hall to the rickety elevator. I pushed the call button, I had never taken anyone to the underground with me before.

Dulo's, the underground people, didn't take kindly to strangers. I had had my rear end handed to me many times before they accepted the fact that I wasn't there to bust them. The easiest way to be accepted is befriend one of these people, someone other dulo's trust. For me that was Holy Man, he preached an old book and never came topside. He was the one who gave me pepper spray after the fifth time I was jumped. I haven't seen in months, I fear the worst of him.

The elevator dinged and the doors slowly rolled open. We stepped in, the lighting low and yellow. It reeked of urine and stale alcohol, Reaper looked around the small enclosed room and took a deep breath.

"Fourteen floors? The building is only four high?"

"Four above, ten below." I looked at him and pressed the U button. "And the underground."

"Why not called it fifteen?" The elevator car started to shake as it descended.

"Originally the underground was created to be a storage area. To save items that society wouldn't need for years to come. The Dulo's and Underlings found them and criminal activity flourished." I explained, the ride was slow going.

"Dulo's, underlings, what does all of that mean?" His eyes fixated on me.

"Okay, so you have elitist, people with money and power. They have their own breaks down I'm sure but I don't know those. Then you have the lower class, which is everyone beneath them. There are Yulo's, top siders. People that work just to get by, they are straight laced and never visit the underground. Then there are Lulo's, people like me. I'm a topsider that dabbles in the underground network. Dulo's, they live and breathe the underground network. Then there are underlings, they are criminals. They will do anything for a buck, mainly to supply their habits." I watch the floor count as continued the descent down.

"How often do you visit the underground?"

"More then I care to admit." The doors pinged and slowly rolled open.

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[ricesoupremacy]

oh they are missing out on having the absolute time of their lives. (*gasp* N, is that you? haha not the school magazine, but she did sneak in a bunch of taylor swift refs in a class play in front of parents. they sure are a crazy bunch.)

hhhhh idk i typed it out cuz it sounded cool. i meant it but. i don't know how to lay out in words the exact sentiment in my head sorry. i mean, humans always want more, since forever. if it's money or power, it's greed, but if it's knowledge then it's curiosity. i think that's one of the questions the yaksha asks Yuddhisthira- what is the only thing a person should be greedy for? (i'm paraphrasing but ye). be it neolithic man's search for a more comfortable, permanent life or our fascination with black holes, we've always been looking for answers and evolving. we've evolved far beyond other animals (in some aspects) for a reason. we think differently, we wish to explore the world and seek out that which is beyond our comprehension. we are voyagers, but we are also artists, who were able to move on from anxiety over mere survival to appreciators of the aesthetic world. wherever humans went, there was always a desire- for dominance, yes, but also for insight. for centuries, we traded in goods and ideas, connecting the world and making it better. excess of anything, even "good" things is bad, yes, but it is that desire that's brought us to where we are today, and will take us far beyond the stars tomorrow. the world is our ever-expanding oyster whose limits we have been pushing from time immemorial. ah a place like that. probably what everyone desires, and some are under the illusion that they have, but none really do. the search continues.

i wish i could lol. i love talking to kids for this very reason. they're forthright ("anna i think you're Very Stupid for choosing chocolate ice cream over tropical fruity bonaza surprise 3000.") and fun to listen to (*animated, heated analysis on characters from Butterbean's Cafe that ends with yeeting of objects and tears*). but for real, kids downright surprise me a lot. once That One Toxic Uncle™ was blabbering about how "boys these days are not real men. they should learn from the brave heroes in our Puranas" (that after watching a man dance ballet on TV, can you imagine this-) and my 7 yo nephew looked him dead in the eye and said, "Arjuna was a dancer too. and he killed bad people." the uncle did not speak for a whole day after that. bliss. another time, i was walking in my apartment (this happened last year) when a small girl i'd never seen before fell into pace beside me. she asked me my name out of nowhere, told me hers, asked my age, told me hers (she was "4-and-a-half, almost 5!" "woah, you're a big girl!" "no i'm not, i still have a long way to go.") and launched into an anecdote about how her parents weren't getting her a dog and her best friend Diya got one. then she looked at me critically and said, "you're very tall." i told her she'd grow just as tall, maybe even taller when she was as old as me. then she told me very business-like that her friend was awaiting her and disappeared into a group of kids. i could not hep smiling the whole conversation. she was so confident about talking to a total stranger. faith in humanity: partially restored.

waist length?! raag i am not an all-powerful, wasit-length-hair-enduring being. i'm weak. i take it back. i'll just become a farmer and keep cows and chickens.

Desi weddings are so enlightening and dramatic fr