#maybe this will show up in the tags NOW???

[littlcdarlin]

My Burning Sun Will Someday Rise

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 || read on AO3

summary: Joel and reader's vacation continues and lines start to blur. tags: daddy kink, big age gap (Joel is 49, reader is 23), dbf!Joel, Joel has a lovely belly, Joel is a little mean, praise kink, Joel calls reader "kid", unprotected piv, creampie, cunnilingus, sexual tension, blow jobs, smut with a little bit of plot, no use of Y/N, afab!reader, reader has hair (will add more as I add more parts)

note: happy new year to all of you, and sorry for the long wait! I was completely flashed by the love you showed for part 1 (THANK YOU!!!), and wanted to live up to your expectations. I’ll try to write part 3 as quickly as possible! Sorry if there's any typos, I edited this while severely hungover

The afternoon at the beach was relaxing and lighthearted after you agreed with Joel and stopped studying so much, and you find that apart from having a body that makes you clench your thighs together, he’s interesting to talk to. He doesn’t give you the same bullshit about university and acting responsibly, but rather accepts that there are things you dislike about your degree. He doesn’t offer advice on how to learn to enjoy those things, he just nods when you tell him you’ve learnt to deal with them. He treats you like an adult, someone who makes their own informed choices – something your life has been sorely lacking.

You head back to the rooms in comfortable silence, and you enjoy the way Joel’s arm almost grazes yours. When you think about the flutter in your stomach for too long it’s ridiculous, but it’s so easy to leave behind the morals and expectations of home when all you’re facing right now is an all-inclusive dinner and as many cocktails as you want. You aren’t planning on getting drunk if Joel isn’t, but you want to have fun tonight. You haven’t been on a real vacation in ages.

 You take another shower once you’re in your room, wash away the sunscreen and sea salt, until your hair is all soft again and you smell like shampoo. The hotel restaurant isn’t super fancy, but you feel like putting in a little effort, so you pick out a black dress you like, and wear your sandals again. You wonder if you’ll get cold – the days are burning hot, but at night there’s a cool breeze that might make you regret your choice of clothes. Fuck it, you think, you haven’t had an occasion to dress up in ages, and getting Joel all flustered again sure seems like reason enough. You grab your purse, phone and keycard, and head to the door.

Joel opens his door at the same time you do, and you swallow when you see he’s changed outfits, too. His hair is slightly damp and all curly, he’s wearing black jeans and a simple black t-shirt with an unbuttoned, flowy linen shirt over it. The sleeves are rolled up to reveal his forearms. It’s stylish. You didn’t expect Joel Miller to look stylish.

"Wow," you say with a smile. "You clean up nice."

Joel just huffs, but his eyes ghost over your dress for a second too long. He doesn’t answer.

When you get to the restaurant, Joel pulls out your chair for you, which earns him a blinding smile. Stylish and a gentleman, who would have thought? Back home he always seemed like a grumpy lumberjack to you, and although you do find him excruciatingly attractive in his flannels, you’re intrigued to find out what else you didn’t know about him.

"Is it really all-inclusive?", you ask, gazing at the menu and not quite believing you can order anything you’d like and not pay for it. 

"Sure. You want a cocktail?"

"If you’ll have one with me?"

Joel holds your gaze, but shakes his head.

"I think I prefer whiskey over that sweet stuff," he says, and you make a face.

"Fine, whiskey it is, then," you say, and Joel frowns.

"You don’t have to drink what I’m drinkin’. Have a cocktail."

This time you’re the one to shake your head.

"It’s no fun, having cocktails on your own. But I haven’t had whiskey in ages, maybe I like it better now."

The corner of Joel’s mouth twitches.

"Ages, huh? How long have you been allowed to drink again?"

You smile, but don’t dignify his question with an answer, and after a moment Joel chuckles and looks back at the menu.

"Fine, I’ll have a Gin Fizz," he says, looking up again. "You?"

He wants to order a cocktail, just so that you can enjoy having one, too. Your stomach flutters.

"Joel, you don’t have t-"

"I know I don’t. I’m having a Gin Fizz."

There’s a finality to his tone, but his voice is friendly. You give him a reluctant smile, one that isn’t ironic or half-joking. He smiles back, and leans back in his chair, eyes still on yours. You study the menu again, this time having a closer look at the cocktails.

"Sex on the beach," you say seriously, and Joel snorts.

"Clever."

***

You do end up drinking a sex on the beach, and Joel actually enjoys his gin fizz. The food is delicious, Joel lets you try a piece of his steak and you offer him a bite of your fish, but he declines with a disgusted look on his face that makes you grin. No seafood for Joel Miller, then.

Joel orders you another cocktail when the waiter clears your plates, and you smile to yourself. He’s being courteous.

"Are you trying to get me drunk, Miller?", you ask, the corner of your mouth twitching. Joel raises an eyebrow.

"I think you’re managin’ that without my help."

He’s right, of course – your long day of traveling makes the buzz in your head more prominent, and although you’re nowhere near drunk, your tongue is a little looser than usually, and you find it much easier to hold Joel’s eye-contact.

"I’m glad I came here," you say all of a sudden, the thought fleeting, but true. "I needed a break."

Joel’s smile is honest, when he answers.

"I’m glad you came, too. It’d be boring, bein’ here on my own."

"Right," you say, "who would get you to drink cocktails? You’d be stuck drinking disgusting whiskey and wallowing in your loneliness."

Joel smiles, shaking his head slightly, and takes a sip of his Gin.

"You wanna head down to the beach?", you ask when your glasses are empty and you feel a little woozy from the second cocktail. Joel looks surprised.

"I love the sea at night," you say a little dreamily, voice trailing off.

"Sure. Let’s go," Joel just answers.

The air outside is cool, just like you anticipated, and you shiver slightly, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep the goosebumps at bay. Joel notices, and immediately shrugs out of his linen shirt, handing it to you. You stare at him.

"Take it," he insists, and you do, the fabric soft in your hands. You slip it on, the sleeves coming down to your fingertips, the collar smelling of Joel’s cologne. You wonder why it took you two cocktails to notice how good he smells. When you’re done rolling up the sleeves, you look up and find Joel watching you quietly. Your eyes meet – he looks away, and starts walking again.

You’re pleasantly tipsy, walking to the beach at night, wearing Joel Miller’s clothes and brushing his arm with yours every once in a while. It feels a little surreal.

"Aren’t you cold now?", you ask after a couple of minutes of quiet.

"No," Joel answers, his voice a little rougher than before, "’sides, you wear it better anyway."

You flush, and when you don’t answer, he looks at you.

"Jesus, sorry," he mumbles. "I didn’t…it slipped out. Just meant you look pretty, is all."

Your stomach swirls pleasantly, and you want Joel to put his arm around your shoulder, or kiss you, or take that shirt off again. You clear your throat.

"Thanks," you answer quietly, toying with the hem of the shirt. "I think you wore it well, too, though. Suits you."

Joel doesn’t answer, but when you glance at him, you notice the ghost of a smile on his face, half-hidden by his patchy beard.

You walk the rest of the way in contemplative silence, each of you lost in your thoughts. You’re always amazed to see the sea at night. The darkness somehow elevates its vastness, water and sky bleeding into each other at the near invisible horizon. It’s easy to forget about your exams here, with the whole expanse of the planet spread out before you, the relentlessly calm sound of the waves, and Joel’s scent in your nose. You sit down on an abandoned deck chair and watch Joel walk up to the water, pick up a seashell, and drop it into the water again. He seems content to be here, you think. Relaxed. You don’t know him well, but his body language seems more at ease than it did back home. Perhaps you’re not the only one who needed a break.

You get up again, and walk over to Joel, who smiles when he sees you coming.

"You were right," he says, "it’s different in the dark."

You know he means the sea, the beach, the lack of people around, the sand that burned your feet only hours ago now having a cooling effect. Still, his words leave room for interpretation and you don’t miss the way his gaze moves over your form in his shirt.

"Thanks for the cocktails," you say quietly, "and the shirt."

Joel looks over at you, but you don’t have the guts to look at him. You can’t quite be sure what the moonlight and scenery will make you do, not when he’s never looked more handsome, and you’re more than tipsy.

"You’re welcome," he says honestly. "I know you’re doin’ this for your Dad more than anything, but I hope you’re still havin’ fun."

He’s self-conscious, or something close to it, wondering how he could make this trip more enjoyable for you – so he orders cocktails he doesn’t like and lets you wear his clothes.

"I am having fun," you reassure him. "I’m at the beach at night wearing a guy’s shirt who got me all the cocktails I wanted, instead of studying at my desk for the millionth night in a row."

Joel chuckles.

"My Dad should break his leg more often," you sigh, digging the heel of your foot into the sand. Joel doesn’t answer.

When you walk back to the hotel, you feel the ghost of his hand on your lower back, not touching, but lingering, as if he instinctively wants to stir you in the right direction, or keep you from stumbling. It makes that flutter in your stomach reappear.

You pass reception to get to the elevators, and the same woman is still there, smiling when he recognizes you.

"You two enjoying the sea?", she asks.

"Very much, thank you," you answer, "we had cocktails and walked to the beach."

The lady looks pleased at how happy you seem and smiles at Joel.

"I’m glad to hear it! Well, you two enjoy your Daddy-daughter trip," she says, before answering the telephone that starts ringing just as you’re about to say good-night.

Joel’s brows are furrowed when you look at him, which makes you suppress a grin. The lady assuming he’s your father is clearly bothering him, and you get the feeling it might not entirely be about his age.

When you’ve made it up to your rooms, you turn to Joel to find him already watching you. He looks different here, in the harsh light of the corridor, dark shadows falling over his features, his form somehow looking broader.

"Breakfast at nine?", he asks you, voice quiet so as not to disturb any other guests in their rooms.

"Yeah," you say, and before you can change your mind, you kiss his cheek. His expression is unreadable, when you pull away.

"Goodnight," you say with a tired smile, before teasingly adding "Daddy."

Joel holds your eye contact, and doesn’t flush this time.

"Careful," he says gently, voice low and dark. You swallow.

Before you can forget, you shrug off his shirt, but Joel doesn’t move to take it from your outstretched hand. After a beat, his eyes flicker over your face.

"Keep it," he says curtly, "I like it on ya."

And then he’s gone, the door to his room shutting with a soft thud. You shake your head slightly, and press the soft linen fabric against your nose, inhaling the scent of his cologne and sweat. You ache just at the thought of it having touched his skin, and him now wanting to see you in it, but it would feel like a violation if you relieved that ache now, even if Joel wasn’t there, so you ignore the dull throbbing between your legs best as you can and go to bed with Joel’s shirt right next to your bed.

***

The next morning you feel a little nervous about breakfast – something shifted between you and Joel after your good-bye in the hallway. He seemed so sure of himself when he told you he liked you in his shirt, so unwavering, and you’re a nervous wreck just thinking about saying good morning to him.

Instead of putting on the white sundress you wore yesterday, you slip into a bikini, a pair of comfortable shorts, and Joel’s linen shirt, half unbuttoned so that your necklace peeks out. This time you leave the sleeves un-rolled, liking how big it feels on you, a constant reminder of Joel’s size.

You wash your face and brush your teeth, but don’t shower since you’re going to have to do that in the evening anyway. Although you’re mostly excited to see Joel again, you also can’t wait to have your morning coffee and something to eat – you hope the breakfast buffet will be as good as dinner was.

You wait for Joel in the hallway, but when he doesn’t come out of his room, you knock on his door.

"One second," his voice comes from inside, and you wait leaning against the wall just like he did the day before. When he opens the door, you can’t suppress a smile – his hair is charmingly tousled from his sleep, he clearly didn’t know what to do with it without taking a shower first.

"Nice hair," you say, the corner of your mouth twitching. Joel doesn’t answer, with his brows slightly furrowed he keeps staring at you. Anxiety floods your veins, and you wonder if it was the best idea to dress the way you did, if Joel might think of it as strange or creepy or pathetic.

"You’re wearing my shirt," he says, voice quiet and still rough from sleep. It’s not a question, just a statement, no judgement behind it. You swallow, watching his brown eyes trail over your arms, torso, your shorts.

"Yeah," you answer timidly, fighting the urge to cross your arms. "You said you liked it on me."

Joel’s eyes snap up to yours, and with all the courage you can muster up, you hold his gaze for several long seconds.

"I did."

Again, just a statement. One that doesn’t require an answer, but you feel like shrinking under Joel’s gaze, so you offer him an out out of the situation.

"I’ll take it off, if you want me to," you mutter, and quickly add "I’ll put on something else."

Joel watches you quietly, and finally runs a hand through his messy hair.

"No need, kid," he says with a defeated sounding exhale. "’M glad ya like it."

***

Breakfast is a welcome distraction from whatever happened in the hallway – you drink too much coffee, and try all of the delicious food offered: bacon and eggs, colorful fruit you have never seen before, yoghurt and pancakes. Joel sticks to coffee and toast, though he does steal one of the peaces of fruit from your plate.

"I’ll get one more cup," you say when you have drained the last of your coffee, and Joel chuckles.

"Might as well do a line," he says and you snort, but stay seated – he’s right, you should watch your caffeine intake. He watches you, and after a second raises an eyebrow.

"I didn’t mean anything by it. You drink as much coffee as you want."

His voice is apologetic and soft.

"No, I’ll do as you say," you answer, "or I’ll die of heart failure."

Something flashes over his face at those words, but you can’t pinpoint it. Still, your stomach flutters, when Joel doesn’t break the eye-contact.

After breakfast the two of you get your towels and the rest of your beach-belongings from your rooms, and Joel changes into his trunks again. You walk past reception quietly, the lady from the day before isn’t there, and Joel’s arm brushes against yours casually. Suddenly you wish you weren’t wearing his shirt, just to feel his skin against yours. It’s a little pathetic.

Joel gets you two deckchairs – the beach is still relatively empty – and you put on sunscreen. When you’re done with your limbs and stomach, you offer Joel the bottle.

"Do my back, please?"

"Sure," he mutters, taking the bottle from you, and gently stroking your hair out of the way. He’s quiet, holding you steady by the shoulder when you instinctively squirm away from the initial cold of the liquid on your skin, his hands calloused but gentle. From time to time, his fingers slip under the shoulder straps of your bikini, and you feel heat pool between your legs when he starts covering your lower back in sunscreen. His hand is dangerously close to the waistband of your swimsuit.

"All done," he says, closing the bottle. You raise an eyebrow.

"Don’t need sunscreen," he explains, "I don’t burn easy."

"You’ll get skin cancer," you argue. "Everybody needs sunscreen."

He huffs, but hands you the bottle and turns around to sit down on the deckchair. You watch his beautiful back, the way the skin ripples over his muscles, how broad and solid it seems. You squirt some of the sunscreen onto your hand and apply it to Joel’s shoulders, rubbing gently. He relaxes under your touch, the tension leaving his muscles, and you move your hands more deliberately, focusing on his shoulders, until Joel’s head falls forward slightly, giving into the sensation.

"Good?", you ask, a little shy.

Joel hums, and you wonder if his eyes are closed, if he’s enjoying your touch so much he can’t form a full sentence. You dig the heels of your palms into his muscles, the sunscreen making the slide easy. His skin his littered in freckles and birthmarks, marked by years of working under the sun.

"You always apply sunscreen like that?", Joel asks suddenly, and you flush.

"Most people aren’t this tense," you quip back, fingers gliding over Joel’s neck. "Actually, nobody’s ever been this tense, I think."

He shakes his head slightly, but lets you carry on, working your way down his back, the tan line of his trunks visible and oh so tempting. You imagine pulling them down and try to refrain from clenching your thighs together.

When you’re done, Joel’s muscles feel a little looser, more relaxed, and he turns around to look at you.

"Thanks," he says quietly, and you nod. Now that he can see you, look you directly in the eye, it feels almost absurdly bold to have touched him like that. Still, things have started to unravel a little. Lines have blurred.

Although you don’t know where you get the courage from, you hold his gaze, put one hand on his shoulder, and squeeze.

"Any time, Joel," you answer, and watch him swallow. Then, his own hand comes up to yours, and you half think he’s going to remove yours, but he just loosely wraps his fingers around your wrist, eyes not leaving yours.

"That’s a dangerous game you’re playin’, kid," he says quietly, but doesn’t let go of you. You hope he never does.

"Do you…want me to stop?", you ask him, because you will if this is making him uncomfortable, if you read him wrong. He’s silent for a second.

"No," he says so quietly it’s almost inaudible. His thumb starts moving over your wrist, right over the pulse point, and it makes you weak in the knees. You didn’t know a touch as small as that one could be so erotic, but with Joel it seems, everything is. You fight to not let a whimper escape your mouth, and close your eyes for just a second.

"God," Joel mutters, more to himself than to you, "look at you."

Your eyes snap open when you feel him move, hand still locked around your wrist securely, and suddenly he’s towering over you. You gaze up at him, his eyes bright under the blazing sun, his hair still tousled, his beard patchy and flecked with grey. He’s all man, in a way you didn’t know you found desirable before him, but there is undeniable proof of your want leaking into your swimsuit, sticky and hot between your thighs.

He watches you, intense eyes moving over your face, your eyes, your mouth, your hands, your body in your nicest swimsuit, your throat as you swallow. His other hand comes up to stroke the hair away from your neck, and goosebumps erupt on your skin. Joel almost chuckles, but it’s more the ghost of a breath. You flush.

"It’s fucking stupid to go through with this," Joel says seriously, like he wants to inform you of it – as if you don’t know.

"Yes," you breathe, because he’s completely right.

"Your Dad would kill me, and rightly so," he adds.

"Oh, fuck my Dad," you answer, trying to reach out to touch Joel, but your wrist is still tightly locked in his grasp. You tug a little, but he doesn’t budge.

"You doin’ this to get back at him?"

You detect something in his voice you don’t like – uncertainty.

"No, Joel," you breathe, "God, no. Have you looked into a mirror recently?"

That makes him smile, and you wonder if he gets compliments a lot, but by the way his cheeks gain color, you don’t think he does. Stupid, stupid world, stupid people who came before you. He should be told every second of the day.

"It’s still stupid,“ he says, but his eyes are more intense than before now. You’re on holiday, away from all judgement. You can do whatever you want to do to each other.

"Thought I was the smart one in my family," you tease, reminding him of his words on the plane. You want him to lean down and finally kiss you, or throw you down on the deckchair and fuck you right there, your face pressed into his linen shirt. His thumb keeps moving over your wrist, relentlessly building tension.

"Take me to your room," you whisper, eyes wide, and anticipation pooling deep in your belly. Joel curses.

"You have any idea of the things I wanna do to you?"

His voice is low, dangerous, and you’d be at least a little afraid if this one anyone else. But it’s Joel, who lets you hate your degree without judgement, drinks cocktails he doesn’t like just so you can enjoy yourself, and through his permission allows you to stop studying, lets you enjoy this trip.

"Do them," you breathe, "I’ll let you do anything."

"Jesus fucking Christ, kid," he answers, and finally lets go of your wrist, one hand coming to rest on your waist, tugging you towards him, the other gently cradling your face. His breath ghosts over your mouth, and then he brushes your lips with his in a needy, slow kiss. His tongue slips into your mouth and you open up for him willingly. He tugs your hips against him, making you whimper and feel his bulge dig into your stomach.

The only thing keeping you from pulling him out of his swimming trunks right then is the fact that there are people around, and you’re pushing it already with the way his hands grasp at your skin and his tongue licks in your mouth. Any further and you could be arrested for public indecency.

"Please," you ask him between kisses, "Please, Joel, just take me to your room."

His teeth dig into your lower lip, and you fight a moan.

"Ask me again," he says, voice a little wrecked, and the need you feel for him deep in your stomach burns white hot. He wants you to beg.

"Please," you say, like he isn’t stripping you of your dignity instead of your clothes, but you can’t bring yourself to feel embarrassed, not when Joel groans at the sound.

"Alright, kid. I’ve got you.“

[oediex]

I agree largely with what you're saying, things aren't as easy as I put them in the tags (I mean, they are tags). Supply and demand interact with each other in various ways.

What you are describing I suppose could be described as "supply driving demand" but what is actually happening is the creation of demand through, largely, marketing strategies. That's what those campaigns you are describing are doing, that's what advertising does, etc. Is that supply driving demand? I don't know. I guess, in a roundabout way. It's more companies and lobbying groups driving demand, who are the people providing the supply.

What that shows is that supply cannot go without demand. If there is supply but no demand, those companies are in trouble. That's why they try so hard to create the demand. So it seems demand still has a part to play.

What you're describing in the last few paragraphs is just the law of demand. If prices increase, because subsidies are removed, then demand will decrease. That's basic economics. I think you're going to have a hard time finding a vegan who is not in favour of this. Most of us very much want these subsidies to be moved away from animal products, and instead moved over to plant-based products, whether that is fresh fruits and vegetables; staples like lentils, beans, tofu; or alternatives of animal products like plant-based milk. We want systemic change. We are constantly talking about the need for systemic change. We know that this will have a bigger impact than convincing people to go vegan individually.

But that systemic change clearly isn't happening, and you're completely right that lobbying and marketing strategies are to blame for that. They keep the demand high by creating the demand and by artificially keeping prices low. Because how else are they going to get rid of their supply and get rich?

How do you propose we create that systemic change? Because now we're not just in economics anymore, we're in politics. Which politician is going to remove subsidies from animal products? Who is going to stick out their necks like that? Most environmental organisations don't even dare mention the cost of animal agriculture on the environment and the need to move away from animal products, for fear of losing funding; let alone political parties, especially when they're in the pockets of lobbying machines. Some green parties do talk about "ethical" and "organic" animal farming, but who do you think will vote for them and their policies if they knew what that would do not only to the supply but also the price of animal products?

People don't want to give up these products, and yeah, sure, that's largely a created demand, but if it was created, it can be broken down. Veganism is trying to do that, by inserting a third factor into the mix: ethics.

Maybe you think that won't be strong enough to convince the masses, and you might be right, but for most vegans I know, ethics is the driving force behind their commitment. So when you say that "the meat industry will just bring [demand for meat consumption] back" in the case of individuals choosing to change their consumption - well, you're certainly right for some cases (e.g. people going plant-based for "health" reasons), but the meat industry is going to have a harder time doing this when it comes to principled vegans.

And sure, I'd love to break that created demand for animal products down in a more systemic way, in a way that makes quicker progress, because oh boy do we need it. But I haven't found it, and neither have other animal rights and environmental activists, or we wouldn't be where we are now. Have you? Because the second person in this post was right they said that "the only sustained voices arguing for a decrease in the size of the meat industry are vegans, some indigenous groups, and particularly principled environmentalists." (my emphasis) And we are the minority and not equally matched against the meat industry lobby. We desperately need to be larger in number.

Please, tell me what systemic change we can aim for without decreasing consumer demand for animal products first/as well so that 1) possibly, as per the law of demand, prices lower and supply does too, and 2) more effectively and probably more importantly, political parties and environmental organisations have the bravery to make bolder choices because they're no longer in fear of losing their supporters. I would love to hear your ideas. Genuinely.

discussions about sustainability largely have to be in the realm of production, not consumption. while curbing wasteful consumption habits is important, issues of unsustainable goods can only be solved by literally producing less of them. this approach immediately resolves most issues with individualist, moral 'consumer activism' - for instance, it doesn't matter if you personally eat meat or not, but, factually, we need to significantly reduce the size of the animal agriculture industry if we want the earth to remain habitable. whenever you discuss this, a million scratched satisfascists start acting as though we intend to just take away their treats and replace them with nothing - as if the removal of personal automobiles doesn't go hand in hand with the redesigning of cities around walking and public transit, as if the removal of one method of production doesn't mean its replacement by another. the two main errors here, of the treatlerites, and of those who forget that socialism is supported by the people only because it improves their real conditions, should both be avoided.

[mcrdvcks]

dress ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

chapter summary: You and Logan take a tropical vacation for the new year.

'there is an indentation in the shape of you only bought this dress so you could take it off you made your mark on me, golden tattoo'

word count: 2.9k+

pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader

notes: this is inspired by this post from @yxtkiwiyxt. i saw it and couldn't get it out of my head (also because i'm ovulating, and also because hugh in australia makes me weak!!!)

anyways, happy new year, and i hope y'all like this!

warnings/tags: you and logan are married, fluff, pet names, smut, porn with little to no plot, slight exhibitionism, oral (f!receiving), fingering, handjob, unprotected piv, creampie

If someone would’ve asked you if Logan knew how to swim, you would’ve floundered. Because the truth was you weren’t sure if your husband could actually swim or not.

But since you and Logan have been on the beach for the past few days for the new year you learned the he, in fact, can swim.

And looked quite good while doing it.

So, while Logan swam in the waves, after you put sunscreen on him even after he protested saying “I heal, ‘member?”, you sunbathed with a large sunhat and sunglasses and your tiny bikini.

As you lounged on your towel, soaking up the warmth of the sun, you occasionally glanced up from behind your sunglasses to watch Logan in the water. He was all broad shoulders and toned muscles, cutting through the waves like he was born to it.

When he caught you staring, he smirked and shouted, “Enjoyin’ the view?”

You tilted your sunglasses down just enough to meet his gaze. “Absolutely. Keep showing off.”

Logan chuckled, shaking water out of his hair like a dog, and waded back toward you. “Don’t get too comfortable. You’re comin’ in.”

“No, I’m not,” you said, leaning back and adjusting your sunhat. “This is prime relaxation time.”

He crouched beside you, droplets of water rolling off him and landing on your skin, making you squeal. “C’mon, darlin’. You can’t come to the beach and not get in the water.”

You reached for a towel and swatted at him. “I can and I will. Some of us don’t heal instantly if we scrape against a rock.”

Logan’s grin widened. “You’re no fun.”

“And you’re dripping all over me,” you shot back, laughing as he deliberately shook his head again to spray you. “Logan!”

He plopped down on the sand beside you, his smirk unrepentant. “What’re you gonna do about it?”

“You’re such a child,” you teased, throwing the towel at his chest.

He caught it easily, using it to wipe his face before tossing it aside. “You love it.”

“Sometimes I wonder why,” you teased, knowing full well why.

Logan leaned back on his elbows, his eyes roaming over you with open appreciation. “Can’t say I hate this view either,” he said, his tone dipping into something softer.

Your face warmed, but you kept your cool. “Careful. You’re starting to sound sweet.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he said, but his expression stayed warm.

After a beat, he reached over and tugged on the brim of your sunhat. “Seriously though, you comin’ in or not?”

“I’ll think about it,” you said, smirking. “Maybe after I finish my nap.”

Logan rolled his eyes and stood, brushing sand off his legs. “Fine. But when I come back, you’re not gettin’ out of it.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as he jogged back toward the water, calling over his shoulder, “Better be ready!”

---

You walked out of the cabana the two of you rented while Logan stood at the patio, smoking his cigar waiting for you. He turned around and looked at your outfit before stubbing the cigar in the palm of his hand.

“Your wearin’ that out?”

“Yeah, why?” It was a simple outfit, nothing more than a bikini set with a matching mesh swim maxi skirt.

"Nothin’. Just gettin’ prepared to punch someone when he tries to get handsy," Logan said, his tone casual, but the look he gave you was anything but.

You raised an eyebrow, adjusting the strap of your bag. "Oh, so you’re on bodyguard duty now?"

"Always," he said, stepping closer to wrap an arm around your waist. "Can’t let anyone get ideas, princess."

You rolled your eyes but leaned into him anyway. "You’re ridiculous."

"Ridiculously in love with you," Logan smirked, brushing a kiss to your temple. "Now, c’mon. You said somethin’ about pancakes?"

"Yeah, there’s a diner down the street," you said, trying to hide your smile. "I heard they have good coffee too."

"Better be, or we’re never comin’ back," Logan muttered, grabbing his wallet from the patio table.

As the two of you walked toward the diner, Logan kept his hand resting on the small of your back. The streets were quiet, the morning sun warming everything up nicely.

"So," you teased as you glanced at him, "are you gonna threaten the waiter too if he smiles at me?"

Logan’s lips twitched. "Depends. He got a death wish?"

You nudged him playfully with your shoulder. "Behave, Logan."

"I’ll try," he said, smirking. "But no promises, sweetheart."

When you reached the diner, the smell of coffee and bacon wafted through the air. A cheerful hostess greeted you with a bright smile. Logan’s eyes narrowed just a touch, but he didn’t say anything as you both followed her to a booth near the window.

The moment you slid into the seat, Logan leaned back in his chair and studied the menu. "What’re you gettin’?"

"Probably the blueberry pancakes," you said, scanning your own menu. "You?"

"Steak and eggs," he said without hesitation. "Always steak and eggs."

"Of course," you teased. "You ever get tired of being so predictable?"

"Nope," Logan said, setting the menu down. "You love it."

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

The waitress came by to take your orders, and Logan couldn’t resist throwing in a gruff "make the coffee strong" with his request. You bit back a grin as the waitress nodded and walked away.

"You’re impossible," you said once she was out of earshot.

"And yet, here you are," Logan said, reaching across the table to take your hand. His thumb brushed over your knuckles, and for a moment, his expression softened. "Not that I’m complainin’, princess."

"Good," you said, lacing your fingers with his. "Because you’re stuck with me."

Logan smirked, his grip tightening just a little. "Wouldn’t have it any other way."

---

You finished tying off your bikini as you stepped outside onto the patio of your cabana. Logan had just reached the steps when he stopped at the bottom and looked up at you.

“Ya sure you want to go swimmin’? ‘Cause I can think of somethin’ better to do.”

You planted a hand on your hip, tilting your head at him. “A few days ago, you were practically begging me to get in the water.”

Logan’s grin widened as he took the stairs two at a time to meet you on the patio. His hands found your hips immediately, thumbs brushing the bare skin above your bikini bottoms. “Yeah, but now I got you here, lookin’ like that.”

You rolled your eyes, but your breath hitched when his fingers pressed just a little harder into your sides. “You’re unbelievable.”

“And you’re irresistible, sweetheart.” His voice dipped low as he tugged you closer. “Don’t blame me for havin’ my priorities straight.”

“The water’s gonna be great,” you tried, but even you didn’t sound convinced.

Logan smirked. “So’s this.” His lips were on yours before you could argue, the kiss deep and insistent, his hands sliding to your lower back to press you against him. The heat of his body, combined with the sun warming your skin, had your pulse racing in seconds.

You broke away, barely catching your breath. “Logan…”

“Mhm?” His mouth was already trailing down your jaw, his scruff rough but deliciously familiar.

“We’re outside.”

“No one’s around,” he murmured, lips brushing the sensitive spot below your ear. “And I’ll stop if you tell me to.”

You didn’t tell him to stop.

Instead, you let out a shaky exhale as his hands slid lower, gripping your hips firmly before guiding you toward the lounge chair on the patio. Logan sat, pulling you to stand between his legs as his hands roamed, his touch searing.

“Gotta say,” he said, looking up at you with a wicked grin, “I’m likin’ this view.”

“You’re impossible,” you said, but your voice lacked any real protest.

Logan just smirked, his hands sliding up to the tie of your bikini top. “Let me prove how good impossible can be.”

Your knees nearly buckled when he leaned forward, his lips brushing the curve of your stomach. He untied the strings with a precision that made you wonder if he’d practiced on purpose, and before you knew it, your top was discarded on the chair beside him. His gaze darkened as he looked at you, the intensity in his eyes making your skin flush even hotter.

“Logan…” you started, but whatever you were about to say was swallowed by a gasp when he pulled you down onto his lap, his hands spreading over your thighs to hold you steady.

“Relax, princess,” he said, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down your spine. “I’ve got you.”

And he did. Logan always did.

Before you could think too much about it, his hands gripped your hips again, guiding you down to lie back on the lounge chair. He followed, lips trailing down your neck, your chest, lower and lower until you were arching beneath him, fingers curling into his hair.

“Logan…”

“What?” he murmured against your skin, his tone smug but affectionate. “Told ya this was a better idea.”

You couldn’t even argue, not when he was kissing his way down your stomach, his hands slipping beneath the waistband of your bikini bottoms. He tugged them down slowly, teasingly, and you swore he chuckled when you squirmed.

“Patience, sweetheart,” he said, the smirk evident in his voice.

“You’re the one who—oh,” your words cut off in a sharp intake of breath as his mouth found its mark, his tongue working magic that made your thoughts scatter completely. His hands gripped your thighs, holding you in place as he focused entirely on you, the roughness of his scruff contrasting perfectly with the soft heat of his tongue.

You bit down on your lip to muffle the sounds escaping you, but Logan wasn’t having it. He pulled back just enough to look up at you, his lips glistening. “Don’t hold back, princess. Wanna hear you.”

Your breath hitched at the way he said it, at the sheer hunger in his voice. And when he went back to work, you didn’t bother trying to stay quiet anymore.

Logan growled his approval, the sound vibrating against your skin and sending shockwaves through your body. You clutched at the chair’s edges, your nails digging into the fabric as he pushed you higher and higher, his name falling from your lips like a mantra.

By the time he finally came up for air, his grin was nothing short of predatory. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

“Told ya, sweetheart,” he said, his voice rough but full of amusement. “Better than swimmin’.”

You glared at him half-heartedly, still trying to catch your breath. “You’re insufferable.” You put a finger in the waistband of his swim shorts, tugging him closer. “But you better finish what you’ve started.”

Logan’s grin turned wicked as he leaned in, kissing his way back up your body. Each press of his lips left a trail of heat, starting at your hip and moving slowly, deliberately, up your stomach, your ribs, and finally to the soft curve of your breast. He bit gently at your skin, just enough to make you gasp, before his tongue soothed the spot.

“Sweetheart,” he murmured against your skin, his voice a low rumble, “I always finish what I start.”

His hands slid to your hips, gripping firmly as he repositioned you, tugging you up until you were sitting astride him. Logan’s swim shorts were gone in one swift motion, discarded carelessly onto the patio. He leaned back on the chair, pulling you with him until his broad chest was flush against your back. His hands roamed over your thighs, squeezing possessively before sliding upward.

“Look at you,” he said, his voice rough and full of want. “Perfect.”

You shifted slightly, adjusting yourself over him as his hands moved up to cup your breasts. He kneaded them gently, his thumbs brushing over your sensitive nipples, drawing a soft moan from you.

“That’s it,” Logan said, his lips brushing your ear. “Let me hear you, princess.”

You reached down, your fingers grazing his length, and he let out a low growl at the contact. Slowly, you wrapped your hand around him, stroking with a firm but teasing grip. His hips bucked slightly into your touch, and you couldn’t help the smug smile that spread across your face.

“Someone’s impatient,” you teased, your tone breathy but playful.

“Sweetheart,” Logan said, his voice strained, “if you keep that up, I’ll lose my damn mind.”

You laughed softly, leaning your head back against his shoulder as your hand moved in a steady rhythm. Logan’s hand slid lower, his fingers slipping between your legs to find your slick heat. He groaned, his lips pressing against your neck as he worked you open with slow, deliberate strokes.

“Such a good girl,” he murmured, his fingers curling just right. “So ready for me.”

You whimpered, your hips grinding down against his hand as he pushed you closer to the edge. Your free hand reached back to grip his wrist, stopping him just as you felt yourself teetering.

“Logan,” you said, your voice shaky but firm. “I need you. Now.”

His breath hitched at your words, and he withdrew his fingers, letting you guide him. You positioned yourself, the anticipation making your whole body tremble, and then you slowly sank down onto him. The stretch was intoxicating, and the low growl Logan let out made your pulse race.

“That’s it,” he said, his hands gripping your hips tightly. “Atta girl.”

You took him inch by inch, your breath hitching as he filled you completely. Once you were settled, his hands slid up your sides, holding you steady as you adjusted to the feel of him. Logan’s lips found the curve of your shoulder, pressing kisses there as his thumbs brushed the sensitive skin above your hips.

"Sweet girl," he murmured, his voice low and gravelly. "So perfect."

You let out a soft laugh, tilting your head back to rest against his shoulder. "You’re not so bad yourself, Lo."

Logan chuckled, the sound vibrating through your back. His hands moved to your thighs, gripping firmly as he guided your movements. "C’mon, sweetheart. Let’s see what you’ve got."

You rolled your hips experimentally, the sensation drawing a sharp inhale from both of you. Encouraged, you began to move in a steady rhythm, each roll of your hips earning a low growl of approval from Logan.

"That’s it," he said, his voice rough with need. "Just like that."

Your hands found his thighs, using them for leverage as you moved. "God, Logan," you breathed, your voice shaky. "You feel so good."

"You’re the one makin’ it good, princess," he said, his hands sliding back to your hips. He squeezed gently, helping you find a faster pace. "Look at you, takin’ me so well."

You couldn’t hold back the soft moan that escaped you, the combination of his words and his touch sending sparks of pleasure through your body. Logan’s hands moved up, one sliding to rest on your stomach while the other cupped your breast, his thumb teasing your nipple.

"Logan," you gasped, your movements faltering slightly as the sensation overwhelmed you.

"I’ve got you," he said, his lips brushing against your ear. "Don’t stop now, sweetheart. Keep goin’."

You pushed yourself to keep moving, the friction and the heat building with every motion. Logan’s hand on your stomach slid lower, his fingers finding the spot where your bodies joined. He teased you there, his touch light but deliberate.

"You like that?" he asked, his voice a low rumble.

"Yes," you breathed, your voice trembling. "Don’t stop, honey."

Logan’s breath hitched at the endearment, and his touch became firmer, more insistent. "Never, sweetheart. Wanna make you fall apart for me."

Your pace quickened, spurred on by his words and the sensations he was coaxing from you. The sound of your breathing mingled with his low groans, the air around you thick with heat and need. Logan’s grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your skin as he met your movements with thrusts of his own.

"So good," he muttered, his voice rough and broken. "You’re so damn good, princess."

"Logan," you said again, his name a breathless plea. "I—I’m close."

"I know," he said, his tone softening just a bit. "I’ve got you, sweet girl. Just let go for me."

With one final roll of your hips, you felt the tension snap, your release washing over you in waves. You cried out, your hands clutching at his thighs as your movements stilled. Logan’s hand on your stomach held you steady as he continued to move, chasing his own release. It didn’t take long; a low growl rumbled in his chest as he buried himself deep, his grip on you firm as he followed you over the edge.

For a moment, neither of you moved, the only sound the soft crash of waves in the distance and your labored breathing. Logan’s hands slid up your sides, wrapping around your waist to hold you close.

"You okay, sweetheart?" he asked, his voice rough but gentle.

You nodded, leaning back against him. "Better than okay," you said, your voice soft but satisfied. "You’re unbelievable."

Logan chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Right back at ya, princess."

You stayed like that for a while, basking in the warmth of the sun and each other. Logan’s hands continued to roam lazily over your skin, his touch comforting and possessive. When he finally spoke again, his voice was tinged with amusement.

"Still think swimmin’ was the better idea?"

You laughed softly, turning your head to meet his gaze. "Not even close, Lo. Not even close."

[cheeseceli]

Late wait

Pairing: idol!Lee Know × Gn!reader (established relationship)

Genre: fluff, domesticity, drabble

Request: Lee know with a "waiting for us" kinda vibe. Just being together in their own place with lots of domestic fluff. Dancing whenever, seeing movies whenever...

Warnings: mentions of food, Minho is an idol, the cats and the boys are here as well, reader and him live together

A/n: I simply love to write domestic moments | daily click

Minho finds it funny how the most beautiful things in life are always the simplest.

Coming from someone whose life is full of luxuries, he could understand why someone would be skeptical about his statement, but he couldn't be more truthful than that.

He already saw thousands of different people, dressed in fancy suits and drank expensive wine. The places he already went to were sometimes covered in gold, and if not, they'd have a red carpet and sculptures everywhere. He's not going to lie and say these things are bad, or that he despises them. On the contrary, actually. However, when you live a life of "too much", you learn how to appreciate what is simple.

His cats stepping on his face to wake him up. All the times he went somewhere random to camp. Seungmin's burnt barbecue and Felix' brownies. You. All the things that made his life easy.

As much as he loves all those things, maybe he should highlight you a little bit more. It's only fair, since you are the one who plays the major role in making him feel alive.

When Minho thinks about you, he thinks about how he loves to wake up early before some morning schedule and see how you're sleeping peacefully next to him. You always ask him to wake you up before he goes, but he never finds the strength in himself to disrupt your dreams. You have a whole collection of little notes he put next to the bed, apologising for not saying bye, but promising to bring food whenever he's back.

He also remembers dance nights. As he is a professional dancer and an idol, he thought he wouldn't want to move a single muscle the moment he gets home. However, whenever he comes home to you singing some random song on the radio, it's impossible to not hold your hand and start swaying according to the rhythm. You don't know how to dance. When he's with you, he suddenly forgets how to as well. In the end, it's just two fools in love, dancing how your heart tells you to.

Movie nights where none of you had luck picking what to watch, so you'd just sleep mid the boring show. Cooking homemade dinner and noticing you ran out of all the ingredients, so you have to run to the market. Visiting his parents every Sunday. Staying in the entire weekend with the cats because that's so much better than going out.

There are dozens of little moments like those that Minho could talk about. None of them was particularly special - they were all things that happened every day. Maybe that was the magic of it. Living was easy with those moments, with you.

Now he was coming back home. The day was full of different events. Tiring, extravagant, but nice. He was smiling. But now he only wanted to come home to you. He knew you were staying up late so you could welcome him and ask him how the day was. And as much as you've waited, he'd hug you with his entire being and never let go.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: kiss me (more)

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143 @sleepyleeji @jinnie-ret @sheraayasherrecs @rockstarkkami @urlocalmultigroupfan (those I couldn't tag are in bold)

Dividers by @adornedwithlight | images 1, 2 and 3

[shellshocklove]

❀ 2024 fic recs

hi friends <3 for the third year in a row i wanted to make a list of some of my favorite fics i’ve read that was posted throughout 2024. please read the warnings on the fics before reading, and minors do not interact with smut!

* = smut

❀ joel miller

*cherry thrill by @hellishjoel (series) man i just realized this is a series while doing this fic rec list. i got some stuff to read now!!

pairing: tattoo artist!daddy dom!joel miller x virgin!sub!female!reader summary: trust and devotion. ink meets innocence. your tattoo artist, joel miller, shows you what it really means to give up control. reeling from the loss of your job, you’re running out of options, until a passing comment from joel and a video camera give you just the right idea.

*your summer dream by @tonysopranosrobe (series)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: fresh on the heels of the worst breakup of your life, you find an unexpected kindred spirit (and maybe a little more) in joel miller, who's agreed to tag along for seven days to a tropical resort with you and your parents.

safe and sound by @guiltyasdave (series)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: an injured joel and ellie stumble into your home in the middle of the night. trusting them isn’t easy, but you won’t let another person die in this house. it doesn’t take long until you’re terrified of the day they’ll leave again.

*older!boyfriend!joel miller by @cavillscurls (series)

pairing: older!boyfriend!joel miller x younger!female!reader summary: a collection of stories/imagines about older!boyfriend joel & younger!girlfriend reader.

*of rage and ruin by @corazondebeskar-reads (series)

pairing: werewolf!alpha!joel miller x female!omega!reader summary: joel miller made it twelve years into the apocalypse without getting bit. he turns into a much different kind of monster than he expected, though.

*a lover's pinch by @hier--soir (series)

pairing: professor!joel miller x female!reader summary: a one-night stand with a charming texan turns into something much more thrilling when you discover he is your new college professor. joel miller is entirely off limits. but now that you’ve had a taste, will you be able to keep your hands to yourselves?

*got my mind on your body by @thetriumphantpanda (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: he’s the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid eyes on, even as he grows older, and you’re determined to show him just that.

daugther lessons by @sempersirens (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: would it kill joel to just touch you?

*oasis by @beardedjoel (one shot)

pairing: dbf!neighbor!joel miller x female!reader summary: your dad’s friend is tasked with looking after you while he’s out of town. he ends up finding you somewhere you absolutely shouldn’t be. blackmail ensues.

*stiff by @mothandpidgeon (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: as joel’s getting older, his body isn’t working the way it used to. luckily, you’re happy to help him out.

imperfect for you by @pedropeach (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: you never thought joel miller would accidentally call you baby.

*unbound by @sp00kymulderr (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: you make the chaos go blank in his mind, where all the thoughts spend hours swirling and billowing up like a storm. they’re calmer when he has you to play with.

*too sweet by @mrsmando (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: in your fight for survival against a world intent on killing you, you stumble across the humble abode of one joel miller.

*heavenly bound by @ozarkthedog (one shot)

pairing: jackson!joel miller x virgin!female!reader summary: the world crumbled before you could experience the touch of another. Joel does his best to keep you innocent for as long as he can.

*intermission by @joelsdagger (one shot)

pairing: daddy dom!joel miller x sub!female!reader summary: movie night with joel doesn’t go to plan, or joel fucks your mouth while you’re sleeping.

*wild like the west by @/hellishjoel (one shot)

pairing: cowboy!joel miller x cowgirl!reader summary: joel and his cowgirl.

mine all mine by @/mrsmando (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: the weather in jackson takes a turn for the worse. you’re feeling anxious, resorting to your comforts in an effort to feel better. you’re waiting for the perfect remedy to return home from patrol: joel always knows how to make you feel good.

block party by @almostfoxglove (one shot)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: after your ex moves into the neighborhood, joel offers to pose as your boyfriend at the annual block party. it shouldn’t be hard to pretend for a night, since he’s hopelessly into you.

*wherever you stray, i'll follow by @/cavillscurls (one shot)

pairing: alpha!joel miller x omega!female!reader summary: joel resents the choice to allow an unmated omega into jackson—until he’s the only one who can help her feel at home.

*awake by @/sp00kymulderr (blurb)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: he’s the perfect package.

no one can hurt you now by @/guiltyasdave (blurb)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: you’ve been traveling through the country with joel and ellie. after finally arriving in the safety of jackson, you realize how much joel means to you.

*say yes to heaven by @psychedelic-ink (blurb)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: joel finally allows you to pamper him.

*sweet release by @/cavillscurls (blurb)

pairing: daddy dom!joel miller x sub!female!reader summary: the aftermath of finishing without joel’s permission.

*over the edge by @raspberrybesitos (blurb)

pairing: daddy dom!joel miller x sub!female!reader summary: joel agonizingly taunts you before pushing you over the edge.

*total protection by @penvisions (blurb)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader x tommy miller summary: a threesome with the miller brothers.

after the rain by @/mrsmando (blurb)

pairing: ex-boyfriend’s dad!joel x female!reader summary: when life as you know it comes crashing down around your ears, only joel can fix it.

*sunrise by @5oh5 (blurb)

pairing: joel miller x female!reader summary: waking up next to your boyfriend feels too good to be true.

*blurb by @ovaryacted

pairing: jackson!joel miller x female!reader summary: joel goes down on you.

given to fly by @perotovar (drabble)

pairing: joel miller/tess servopoulos summary: angst taking place during episode 3.

❀ javier peña

it's a date by @pedgito (one shot)

pairing: javier peña x female!reader summary: your boyfriend delivers the worst news possible on what should be a day filled with love. luckily your coworker is there in wait, not allowing a perfectly good dinner reservation to go to waste.

*glory o by @milla-frenchy (one shot)

pairing: javier peña x female!reader x steve murphy summary: you work in a brothel, and two guys want to try something new.

*nights are so starry, blood moonlit by @/guiltyasdave (*prequel)

pairing: javier peña x female!reader summary: javi and you are neighbors. and friends with benefits, in a way. things become… heated.

like snow on the beach by @/guiltyasdave (one shot)

pairing: javier peña x female!reader summary: you’re on a work trip with your boss, who you don’t like and who you’re convinced doesn’t like you either. unfortunately, there’s only one bed.

with you i fall down by @joelsgreenflannel (one shot)

pairing: javier peña x female!reader summary: another day in colombia, another bomb orchestrated by narcos. but this time, it hits the street near your workplace. javi doesn't what happened to you, he rushes back home to find out.

tres besos by @/mrsmando (blurb)

pairing: javier peña x female!reader summary: two times javi kisses you, and the one where you kiss him back.

❀ frankie "catfish" morales

*acts of service by @/tonysopranosrobe (one shot)

pairing: best friend!frankie morales x female!reader summary: an unexpected admission leads frankie to make you an offer you can't refuse. this surely won't come with any consequences. OR you've never had your pussy ate and your best friend frankie helps you out.

*up sky, low high by @jolapeno (one shot)

pairing: frankie morales x female!reader summary: frankie takes you on a heli-ride. you decide to test his competency and take him for a ride.

*in the locker room by @/jolapeno (one shot)

pairing: frankie morales x female!reader summary: when you join him for benny’s fight, frankie appears stressed. you have an idea to de-stress him.

fifteen hundred and one by @/jolapeno (blurb)

pairing: best friend!frankie morales x female!reader summary: he’s your best friend. nothing would ever change that. except maybe a goodnight kiss.

stupid cupid by @/hellishjoel (blurb)

pairing: best friend!frankie morales x female!reader summary: your best friend frankie cheers you up after a miserable valentine’s day.

be cruel to me, 'cause i'm a fool for you by @/joelsgreenflannel (drabble)

pairing: frankie morales x female!reader summary: frankie thinks you should get your driver’s license. you disagree.

❀ dave york

*hold still by @/almostfoxglove

pairing: bodyguard!dave york x female!reader summary: on your last night together, dave agrees to compromise.

❀ javi gutierrez

*are you alright, honey? by @javigutierrez (one shot)

pairing: javi gutierrez x female!reader summary: you’re going on a long weekend with your gorgeous new boyfriend, and after a day of unresolved sexual tension out on a roadtrip you’re ready to jump him the second you get home. unless he finds a movie at the gas station he had been looking for for years and he wants to watch it with you. will you be able to mask your desire for him, to enjoy a movie that means so much to him?

❀ logan howlett

*never is a promise by @joelsgoldrush (one shot)

pairing: old man!logan howlett x female!reader summary: you are everything logan isn’t: sweet, trouble-free, much younger—and, to top it off, charles' caregiver.

*slippin’ and slidin’ all over you! by @sceletaflores (one shot)

pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader summary: logan forgot to fix the ac…

*the way you want to by @eupheme (one shot)

pairing: old man!daddy!logan howlett x female!reader summary: logan overhears something he shouldn’t have.

❀ peter parker

blurb by @silkscream

pairing: peter parker x reader summary: peter clambers up the fire escape to your room with flowers almost as battered as himself bc he hasn’t seen you in two weeks and he FINALLY has a second. he literally just wants a kiss.

*blurb by @/silkscream

pairing: peter parker x female!reader summary: stress fuck with peter bc uni is killing him and he’s on the streets every night and happy won’t get off his ass so when you crawl into his bed in just a t shirt and underwear he quite literally goes insane.

blurb by @luveline

pairing: peter parker x female!reader summary: peter comes home after a visibly bad day and the reader misinterprets his behavior and assumes he’s upset with her instead.

for more fic recs check out my #read tag <3

dividers by @saradika-graphics <3

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @corrodedcoffinfest Good Fortune pop-up event.

Hawkins, Indiana: Birthplace of Corroded Coffin

Prompt: Fortune #7 - A single kind word can keep one warm for years, Mouth & Thirteen | Word Count: 2025 | Rating: E | CW: Explicit Sexual Content, Alcohol Use | POV: Eddie | Relationship(s): Steddie | Tags: Famous Corroded Coffin, Future Fic, Reconnecting, Old Friends to Lovers, Eddie & Gareth are Best Friends

The lights are bright and the crowd is loud, and he's just a little bit buzzed from the shots before they took the stage, but Eddie is absolutely certain that three rows back, dead center, is Steve Harrington. There's no way it isn't him. Even older, even if Eddie hasn't seen him in years, it's him. It helps that he's standing next to Henderson, for the love of god, and a whole slew of other familiar faces that Eddie mostly hasn't seen in years.

He's sure he's not seeing ghosts. Just old friends that have traveled from all over just to see them here together tonight. 

And that's all Eddie can think about during the whole show. He tries to shake it off, tries to act like it's completely normal to have that many familiar faces in the crowd watching them perform, but it's not. In fact, it had never even crossed his mind when they landed in Indianapolis that this would somehow be a hometown show.

Eddie didn't invite anyone, didn't draw attention to it, because they don't claim Indiana. It's not home, not anymore. Hawkins told them to fuck off, and they've decided to say it right back. Hawkins can't stake a claim on them now. If they didn't want them around back then, if the majority of the town would have preferred to see Eddie dead, well, fuck them. They don't deserve to have them now that they've made a name for themselves.

Maybe that's petty. But Eddie stands by it.

He'll never set foot in that town again. Not for anything, or anyone.

Wayne understood, and washed his hands of Hawkins, too.

So, they kind of avoid Indiana in general, and aren't exactly in contact with the majority of Hawkins these days. 

Sure, Henderson and the other sheepies have made shows here and there all over the country, but going home? To that hell hole? Absolutely not. 

But seeing them all in the crowd, together again, just to see him? Fuck. It does something to Eddie that he can't explain.

After the show, Steve picks Eddie up and hugs him, cracking his back in the process.

Eddie laughs.

Nobody treats Eddie like this anymore, except for Wayne and the other guys in the band, so it's a nice change of pace to know that Steve still sees him as Eddie. Not Eddie Munson, business commodity. 

"How are you man? How's the high life?" Steve asks, and Eddie tosses his head back, laughing. Steve hasn't changed. He's a little dorky, and a lot good dude. 

"Good," Eddie says with a smile, "I'm good. How're you?"

"Good, good. I'm good."

"Still in Hawkins?" Eddie asks, and Steve nods.

Eddie doesn't see how Steve can do it, but of course they didn't try to hang Steve in the town square. Deemed guilty by the court of public opinion before the blood he didn't spill had even dried.

This is Steve Harrington, Eddie's sure he's an upstanding member of society.

"Want to get a drink?" Eddie asks, because he can't in good conscience let Steve disappear that easily. If Steve came all this way, Eddie at least needs to keep him a little bit longer.

Two drinks turn into wandering hands, and when Steve corners him in the hallway of the hotel bar back by the bathroom, Eddie leans into it. Presses against Steve, straddling Steve's thigh, grinding against him. 

"Fuck," Steve says, and that's definitely the idea, as far as Eddie's concerned. They try to keep their hands to themselves until they're in Eddie's hotel room, but then all bets are off, clearly.

Eddie couldn't have dreamed of this, even if he'd been making unattainable wishes.

It's fun, and familiar, even if it's not anything they've ever done together before. 

Eddie needed this. Needed to laugh, and fuck, to just unwind with someone he trusts with his life, not to mention his body.

Steve Harrington wanted to have sex with him, as familiar, old friends. Because, yeah, clearly they have some mutual attraction, but that's not unusual. Eddie's been attracted to lots of people over the years, and he's fucked more than he can count. Men, women. They don't mean anything, but tonight Steve crawled in his bed because he likes Eddie as a person, knows him, and trusts that they'll have fun together, not because he's famous. That's a gift. One Eddie hasn't gotten in a really long time.

Eddie rolls onto his back, and opens his thighs. 

"What do you need?" Steve asks, looking up at him with those warm eyes. And it is a need, not just a want. He's right about that.

Everything. He wants everything.

"Your mouth," he says, then, "your cock." He can't decide. 

Steve laughs, then says, "Deal," with a grin.

Eddie throws his arm over his eyes, and then realizes he doesn't want to miss this, he wants to see it all. And he knows that was a great decision, when Steve takes him into his mouth.

Holy shit. Steve Harrington, with his hair falling over his forehead, is sucking his dick, and goddamn well.

"Goddamn, Harrington," Eddie teases, and Steve pulls off just long enough to smile a smile that settles between Eddie's ribs and takes up residence.

Eddie hasn't done this in forever, but he melts into the sheets as Steve fucks his fingers in and out of his body. He's ready. He's so beyond ready for Steve to fuck him.

"Steve, now," Eddie says. 

And Steve nods, and Eddie watches as Steve rolls a condom down his impressive cock. Then he's lining up and pressing inside. A slow, steady slide. He's open, and oh so fucking ready. His cock is hard, laying against his belly, a sign of trust, of pleasure, that he doesn't take for granted.

Steve Harrington won't hurt him. Steve Harrington saved him once, and goddamn, he might be doing it again right now.

Eddie groans. It feels so good. He hasn't trusted anybody to do this for him in a long, long time. But he knows that Steve will take real good care of him. Steve always takes good care of everyone.

And tonight is no different. Steve builds a rhythm, finding all the right places in Eddie's body, in his heart, and when Eddie comes, he laughs. He's gonna chase this particular high for the rest of his life, guaranteed.

It's morning, and the plane leaves in an hour. Flying private does save time, but he's pushing it.

Steve leans over, dressed, ready to go, and kisses him goodbye.

"It was good to see you. Maybe don't wait another dozen years," Steve says, and then with a smile, he's gone.

Another month of shows, nothing out of the ordinary, but it's been so fucking rough. Eddie can't even explain why. Nothing has changed. They've been in the swing of touring for a very long time. But he suddenly feels like he's lost all his mojo. Like he's trying to force a square peg into a round hole.

He's frustrated. Musically, and sexually, if he's honest. Nobody is holding a candle to a night with Steve Harrington, and he wishes he was surprised by that.

"Go."

Eddie jerks his head up, "What?"

Gareth smiles, "You heard me. Go."

"Go where?" Eddie asks, fiddling with the strings of his guitar, just for something to do.

"Go home. To him," Gareth answers, and Eddie knew that's what he meant.

Eddie sits there for a moment longer, and Gareth shoots him a look, "Go." 

He goes.

Their chartered plane is tied up elsewhere, so it takes waiting in an airport for nearly a day, with flight after flight falling through. Holiday travel has the airports busy, and the weather is keeping flights delayed.

He's in a private lounge, so he's not being bothered by anybody, but it's making him nervous, and a little bit crazy. He wonders if he should hit one of the pay phones and call Steve, warn him that he's coming in.

He doesn't. He thinks, no matter how this goes, that Steve will be happy to see him if his reaction after the show is anything to go by.

But he's going home for the first time in over a decade, because he wants to see Steve. Needs to. Because what he felt that night, seeing him again, isn't something he's felt in a very long time.

Steve doesn't seem all that surprised to see him, but he welcomes him with open arms.

"I can't believe I'm back in this town," Eddie says. "How can such a shithole have you in it?"

Steve laughs.

"At least they took down the fucking sign declaring Hawkins the birthplace of Corroded Coffin. Like hell it is."

Steve smiles, a twinkle in his eye.

"Come with me," Steve says, and Eddie follows him out the back door and towards a little shed. He can't imagine what Steve needs to show him out here, but after Vecna, and all the shit that happened in the Upside Down, if Steve Harrington says jump, Eddie will only ask how high.

The shed has three padlocks, and Eddie is suddenly scared he's gonna be a headline. He doesn't really know Steve Harrington anymore. He could be a serial killer. 

He laughs to himself.

"It's not a serial killer shed," Steve says, as if he can read his mind.

"I didn't think that," Eddie says.

He totally thought that.

Steve unlocks the last padlock and swings open the door.

Eddie's stunned. 

There's at least a dozen road signs, all proclaiming Hawkins, Indiana: Birthplace of Corroded Coffin.

Eddie laughs, cackles, honestly.

"You didn't?" he asks, and Steve grins.

"I absolutely did. Every last one. They finally stopped putting them back up. They blamed the kids wanting them for souvenirs, not the middle school phys ed teacher stealing them because I knew how much you'd hate them."

Eddie loves him more than he's ever loved anyone, he's pretty sure. He can't believe Steve did this for them, he wasn't even in contact with any of them. 

"How did you know…?" Eddie trails off, not sure how to word it.

"That you'd hate it?" Steve asks.

And Eddie nods.

"You never came home, and for good reason. They didn't deserve to say you were theirs. You were always ours, though. We're really proud of you."

Eddie barrels into him, hugging him tight, "Thanks, Steve."

"It was nothing," he says, and then he grins, "Robin helped."

"Hell yeah, Buckley did."

Ten Years Later

"It was go," Eddie says in the interview chair that he's been in for hours. Press junkets are the fucking worst. 

"Go?" the interviewer asks.

Eddie nods, "You asked for the kindest word I've ever been told. Go."

"Do you want to elaborate?" she asks, trying to probe.

"Not really," he says, but offers a smile, and she returns it.

It's his secret. His and Gareth's, he supposes, but it changed the whole trajectory of his life. Warming up all the coldness that he hadn't even realized he was feeling until Steve Harrington waltzed back into his life.

Gareth told him to go, set him free, trusting that he'd return back to the band better than he left it.

He did.

With Steve, he's better. Happier. Their music has only gotten better with Eddie settled into his own skin, his own love. He has a home, even if god-fucking-forbid, it's in Hawkins, Indiana: Birthplace of Corroded Coffin.

Once word got out, they put up another sign.

Eddie stole it. The very last sign Hawkins ever tried to put up.

They arrested him, and he smiled for his mugshot.

Eventually the charges were dropped. They were far too embarrassed to actually try him for stealing his own sign, unwilling to put him on the stand to ask him why.

He'd love to tell him.

So, Hawkins has left him alone, and he's made peace that he may never forgive and forget, but Steve's whole life is here, and that means Eddie's gonna be here, too.

They let him keep the sign. It's in the shed with the other thirteen.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @corrodedcoffinfest and follow along with the fun! 🦇

Notes: I'm always such a sucker for Eddie making peace with Hawkins stories. They probably don't deserve it, but he does.

[downbad4sylus]

“This mark is different”

(part 3 to “I killed you”)

synopsis: You and Sylus return to the base from the field of flowers where he shows you his horns.

content: NSFW; 18+ MDNI; smut with some plot; sylus x afab!reader; reader is MC; use of Y/N; soft!sylus; virgin!sylus (i am of the opinion that sylus wouldn’t so much as breathe near another woman who isn’t MC); virgin!reader; kissing; oral (fem receiving); p in v; soft sex; slightly rough sex; no protection (wrap it up kids); multiple orgasms; idk if this counts as monster fucking but sylus has horns and a tail; mostly proofread

word count: ~3.5k

tags: @travelerth; @midiplier; @satansdaughter123; @bookfreakk

a/n: massive thank you once again to everyone who’s read, liked, and reblogged parts 1 and 2, i genuinely can’t express how happy it makes me that so many of you have enjoyed these little stories :’) anywaayyy, in honor of the new banner and all the new spicy content (bless our game developer overlords) here is part 3 where things between you and Sylus get a little spiicccyyyy

Okay, so when Sylus asked if you wanted to go back to the base and see his horns, you might have taken him a little too literally.

What you thought was him innocently taking you to his bedroom—warning the twins on your way that he still didn’t want to be bothered—turned out to be far from that.

Which was how you found yourself currently pinned beneath him on his bed, tongues tangling and lungs screaming for air, no horns in sight. Or tail. Or wings.

You lightly pounded a fist against his chest. “Sylus…I need…to breathe…”

Sylus was loath to part from you, but did so regardless, taking the opportunity to marvel at the sight of you before him. Flushed cheeks, swollen lips, chest heaving. You were beautiful, perfect, and his.

“Do you want to stop?” he asked, making sure he had your consent before he continued.

You bit your lip, and he nearly lost control then and there. How many times did he have to tell you to stop doing that?

“How far are we going?” you asked softly.

“As far as you want, sweetie,” Sylus assured. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.”

“I, um, haven’t really done anything before,” you confessed, turning your face away so you didn’t have to look at him.

Sure, you had a few boyfriends throughout the years but you’d never had more than a heated makeout session, it was usually the reason why those relationships ended. You weren’t a prude or anything, you were just saving yourself for when someone really special came along. Or maybe you’d unknowingly been waiting for Sylus to come along.

Sylus pinched your chin and forced your eyes back to his. “Me neither.”

Your eyes nearly popped out of your head. “Really?”

He nodded. “I’d never give myself to anyone but you.” He released your chin in favor of dragging a finger down your neck before wrapping his hand around it, careful not to choke you. “I do, however, have a very good memory.”

Your heart thundered in your chest. You wanted him. You needed him. And most importantly, you trusted him.

“Okay,” you breathed.

“Okay what, sweetie? I need you to tell me exactly what you want,” Sylus said, his thumb rubbing soothingly along the length of your neck.

“I want you, Sylus, all of you,” you said. “I want you to make me feel good.”

“Oh, Y/N, I’ll do so much better than that.”

He released your neck, trailing his large hand over your chest and down your stomach until his fingers teased the hem of your shirt.

“May I?” he asked.

You nodded. “But I get to take off yours next.”

Sylus chuckled. “Are you trying to make a deal with me right now?”

You nodded again, smiling. “For every one thing you strip off of me, I get to strip something off of you.”

His ruby-red eyes sparkled. “And those are your terms?”

“Those are my terms.”

“Then it’s a deal.”

You eagerly sat up and held your arms above your head. Sylus huffed, clearly amused by your enthusiasm, and gripped the bottom of your shirt in both his hands. In one smooth motion, he removed it, tossing it aside as his gaze roved hungrily over your now-bare skin.

When you reached for his shirt, intent on running your hands all over his delicious abs, you suddenly found yourself back against the mattress, wrists pinned to the pillows.

You blinked to find Sylus hovering above you sporting a positively wicked smile.

“Sylus! What are you doing?” you exclaimed, fighting to free your wrists.

He cocked his head. “You never said when you got to rid me of my clothes,” he drawled in that infuriatingly smug tone of his. “You need to be more specific when setting your terms, sweetie.”

Your mouth popped open. This was what you got for trying to make a deal with the King of Deals himself.

“Now, let’s get rid of this next,” he mused, trailing his fingertips along the underwire of your bra.

“How are you—“

Black-red mist enveloped your bra, tickling the skin underneath. It took only a moment for Sylus’s Evol to make quick work of it, the undergarment reduced to black and red specks of dust, leaving your upper half fully exposed.

Sylus’s pupils dilated as his hand gently cupped your breast, and you whimpered when his thumb brushed over your nipple.

“So beautiful,” he murmured, rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. “And all mine.”

He was barely touching you yet your core had already gone molten and was beginning to throb with need. You needed more of him, his hands, his lips, his tongue, his co—

A jolt of pleasure shot straight to your core, tearing a loud moan from your lips as Sylus closed his own over your neglected nipple. He continued, tongue laving and teeth biting until he switched to your other breast, giving it an equal amount of attention.

You were panting by the time he lifted his head with a quiet smack of his lips.

But Sylus was far from finished.

He kissed his way up to your neck, where he licked and sucked at your sensitive skin. You wanted to touch him, thread your fingers through his hair but he still had your wrists pinned firmly above your head with seemingly no intention of releasing them.

You cried out, your back arching as Sylus sunk his teeth into your neck.

“This mark is different,” he breathed, lapping his tongue over it to soothe the sting. “This time, I want to count how many times I can make you come before it fades.”

“Fuck Sy,” you groaned.

He trailed down again until he reached the waistband of your pants. He looked at you, one brow raised, silently asking for your consent. You nodded, straining against his hold on your wrists, desperate to bury your hands in his hair.

You nearly cried with relief when he finally removed his hand, only to have your wrists bound by his Evol instead.

“Sylus,” you whined.

He chuckled. “Be a good girl and let me have my fun first,” he said. “You’re the one who asked me to make you feel good.”

“Then stop teasing me already!”

“Mmm, very well.”

Sylus yanked off your pants, leaving you in just your underwear, which were soaked through by this point. He made quick work taking them off as well, groaning at the sight of you finally naked before him.

“So, so beautiful,” he murmured reverently as he reached out, brushing his thumb over your clit. Your hips bucked at the contact, and it was all the reaction Sylus needed before descending on you like a man starved.

Spreading your legs wide, Sylus licked your slick entrance, moaning at the taste of you on his tongue. Your back bowed off the bed, crying out in pleasure as he focused his efforts on your throbbing clit. He slung an arm across your waist and pushed you back down, keeping you locked in place, unable to escape the pleasure he was so eager to give you.

His unoccupied hand ghosted along your inner thigh, growing closer and closer to where his mouth was, until he reached your entrance and slipped a finger inside.

You moaned. “Please Sy,” you begged him. “Please let me touch you.”

Without parting from your core, Sylus’s Evol dissipated from your wrists, freeing you at last. Your hands immediately went to his head, burying your fingers in his hair.

Release tingled down your spine, the tension poised to snap. When Sylus added a second finger he nearly undid you then and there.

You grip his hair harder, moving your hips as much as his iron grip would allow, riding his face.

“Sylus,” you panted. “Sylus I’m gonna—ah.”

“Go ahead, sweetie,” Sylus said gruffly. “Come for me.”

And you did, the tension exploding as you came all over his mouth and fingers. He continued to lick and suck, his fingers pumping in and out while you rode out your high, stopping only when your body went limp beneath him.

“That’s one,” Sylus said proudly, straightening as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

You stared at the slick covering his fingers, transfixed by the way it shined in the light. Sylus noticed.

“Want a taste for yourself?” he asked.

Heat flooded your cheeks but when your eyes met his, you nodded.

“Open,” he commanded. You obeyed and Sylus slid his fingers inside your mouth. When you closed your lips around them he said, “Now suck.”

You couldn’t feel any embarrassment you were so turned on, tasting yourself as you licked and sucked Sylus’s fingers clean.

“Good girl,” Sylus purred as his withdrew his fingers. “Would you like to uphold your end of our deal now?”

You pounced on him, almost knocking you both off the bed. You tore at Sylus’s shirt, bunching it up over his torso before ripping it off his head. Without stopping to admire his physique, you rose on your knees, positioned on either side of his legs, and unbuckled his belt. The bulge in his pants made your mouth water and you wanted nothing more than to wrap your hands around his cock and wring as much pleasure out from him as he did you.

“Lift your hips,” you told Sylus.

He raised them, his chest heaving with anticipation as he watched you. You hurriedly popped the button and pulled the zipper down, then with all your might, grabbed the waistband of his pants and underwear and yanked.

Sylus’s hard cock slapped against his abdomen and you nearly abandoned undressing him at the sight of it. He was long and thick, precum leaking from his slit and onto his stomach. You wanted to touch it, taste it, feel it inside of you.

“Don’t stop now, kitten,” Sylus encouraged, his voice breathless. “You can’t leave my pants like this.”

You blinked, realizing you’d be staring at his cock, hands still gripped tight on his pants, which were only halfway down his thighs. You mumbled an apology and managed to finish stripping him, tossing his clothes aside onto the floor somewhere.

Sylus groaned as your hand wrapped around the base of his cock. “Kitten,” he panted. You dragged your hand up his length, gathering the precum at the tip before running it back down. “Hah—ah, that feels so good.”

But Sylus grabbed your wrist, stopping you.

You pouted. “I want to make you feel good too.”

He smirked. “You can do that some other time, right now, I need to be inside you.”

Sylus sat up, putting you at eye level.

Your breath caught. He was so beautiful, with his sharp, chiseled features, but what really took your breath away was the look in his eyes. He looked at you like you held his entire world in your hands. Like you were the only light shining in a life otherwise shrouded in darkness. You loved this man, and it was so heart achingly clear he loved you too.

Sylus cupped your cheek and ran his thumb over your bottom lip. “You’re sure you want to do this?”

“I’ve never been so sure about anything before,” you answered him with a smile. “I love you, Sylus.”

He smiled too, a real smile, not anything like his smug ones. “I love you too, Y/N.”

He kissed you, lips pressing softly on yours. It was slow and unhurried, like you had all the time in the world to just enjoy each other. Even when your tongues met, you didn’t rush, Sylus gently pushing you down onto the mattress.

He drew back when his cock teased your entrance. “I’m going to go slow, okay? If it hurts or you need me to stop, just let me know.”

Your hands flew up to his face. “Sylus wait.”

He didn’t move a muscle.

“You said I could see your horns.”

Sylus faltered. “Sweetie, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

You shook your head. “No, I want to see them, Sy, and your wings and tail. I said I wanted all of you and I meant all of you.”

Sylus’s heart thundered in his chest, unsure whether to give in to your demands. He was sure if he protested further, he’d be able to convince you to drop it for now. In truth, though, he was nervous. Yes you had remembered your past together but you’d never seen him in his dragon form in this life. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you. He’d never recover if you saw him as the monster he truly was, you were the only one who loved him despite that very fact.

“Sylus.”

Hearing his own name tore him from his thoughts, his gaze fixing on your face.

“I love you now just as much as I did then, dragon and all,” you said firmly. “Please, I want you to be able to be yourself with me.”

Sylus hung his head and sighed, resigning to your demands. “Fine, but no wings, they’re too big for the bed.”

“Okay, I can live with that.”

Sylus huffed and brought his lips back to yours. As you kissed, black-red mist swirled at the top of Sylus’s head and at the base of his spine, revealing his scaled, black horns and tail.

He held his breath as he parted from you, bracing himself for your reaction. But when you opened your eyes, they were not filled with fear. They were filled with awe.

You lifted a hand and brushed the bottom of one of Sylus’s horns. He shivered at your touch, his tail swishing back and forth behind him.

“Are they sensitive?” you asked, ghosting your fingers up the length.

“Yes,” Sylus breathed.

You hummed thoughtfully as you angled your head, peering at his tail, then looking back at him. “You really are beautiful, Sy.”

He swallowed against the lump in his throat, moved far more than he could ever express with words that you found him beautiful, even like this.

“May I continue now?” he asked, deflecting with his usual arrogance.

You laughed and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Please.”

Sylus almost lost his self control at the relief that flooded through him. His cock was throbbing so hard it was painful, and the only way he could soothe it was to be buried deep inside your cunt.

Tail thrashing wildly, Sylus repositioned the head of his cock at your entrance, somehow even more soaked now than before. Coating himself first, he then began pushing past your folds.

You inhaled sharply at the burn as your walls stretched to accommodate his size.

“Relax, my love,” Sylus soothed, one hand trailing down toward your core. He gently circled your clit, encouraging your body to relax.

You whimpered, clenching around the head of his cock, desperate for him to fill you more despite the pain.

Taking his time, Sylus rocked his hips slowly, easing into you inch by inch all while rubbing your clit to keep you loose. By the time he bottomed out, the pain you’d felt had been long replaced by the pure pleasure of being filled with his cock.

Sylus trembled with the restraint it took to not start pounding into you, wanting your first time to be more loving and tender. There was plenty of time to take you hard and rough.

“I’m going to move now, okay?” he warned, breathing heavily.

“Yes, please,” you begged, wrapping your legs around his waist.

He groaned and rocked his hips until just his tip was left inside you, before sliding back in. You both moaned as Sylus began thrusting in earnest, his pace slow and steady.

“You feel so good, Y/N,” Sylus panted. “Just like I remember.”

You were unable to respond, too consumed by the way he moved inside you, his cock hitting you in all the right places.

As though it had a mind of its own, Sylus’s tail snaked around one of your legs, keeping it locked to his waist.

Tension building already, your nails dug into Sylus’s back as each thrust brought you closer and closer to the edge. Sylus could fell your walls fluttering around his cock, and while he wanted nothing more than to lose himself right along with you, he was determined to rip as many orgasms out of you as he could.

He picked up the pace slightly and you responded in kind, tightening your grip on him as you cried out.

“Sylus, oh fuck, don’t stop, please please please don’t stop.”

He chuckled. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

He captured your lips in an impassioned kiss, sweeping his tongue into your mouth as you moaned. One hand cupped a breast, his fingers teasing your nipple before moving on the other.

His touch, his kiss, his cock, it was all too much.

Your back arched as you came, waves of pleasure washing over your body again and again with seemingly no end. Sylus kept moving through it, pausing when you finally slumped into the bed.

“That’s two, but we’re not finished yet, kitten,” Sylus growled.

You hardly registered his words before he was flipping you onto your stomach, a shocked oof breezing past your parted lips. He dragged your hips up so your ass was in the air, sliding his cock back into your cunt with ease. His tail slid along your ribs, then across your breasts, the hard scales rubbing on your sensitive nipples, and it pulled you flush to Sylus’s chest. On instinct, you reached back and grabbed onto both of his horns. The groan he let out was purely animalistic.

“You better hold on tight,” he whispered in your ear, the only warning you got before his cock started slamming into you.

You moaned at the delicious new angle, your body already working toward another orgasm. Admittedly, you’d been a bit nervous that Sylus was relying solely on memory from another lifetime in order to please you, and truly you would’ve been happy with whatever he’d be able to give you. But this? This was not at all what you expected.

“I won’t last much longer, kitten,” Sylus warned, his thrusts growing sloppy, “and I fully intend on bringing you with me.”

His hand slid down your abdomen, two fingers finding your clit and rubbing in quick, tight circles.

Your cunt clenched hard around his cock as you pulled on his horns, your mouth popping open in a silent cry. Sylus groaned, doubling his efforts both with his cock and his fingers.

“Sylus!” you yelled, body tensing. “Sylus, oh please.”

“Give me one more, Y/N,” he muttered. “Be a good girl and give me one more.”

Your climax slammed into you, your vision going white as the pleasure rocked your body harder than the last two. It drove Sylus straight off the cliff edge, chasing his high right alongside you, filling your cunt to the brim.

When you were both spent, Sylus collapsed on top of you, but you were too fucked out of your mind to care about his weight crushing you.

He didn’t linger on you too long though, rolling over onto his side, taking you with him as his tail was still wound around your breasts. He peppered kisses on your neck and shoulder, making you smile.

You twisted in his hold to face him, placing a chaste kiss of your own right on his lips. “I love you, Sy,” you murmured.

“I love you too, sweetie,” he replied quietly.

“Does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?” you asked, the picture of innocence.

Sylus scoffed. “I was under the impression I was much more than just your boyfriend.”

“You are, but I can’t introduce you to people as my soul-bound lover,” you protested. “We need a socially acceptable label, Sy.”

“You want to introduce me to all your little Hunter friends?”

“Yeah, as my small-business-owner-slash-fruit-stall-vendor boyfriend, Skye!”

He gave you an incredulous look, as if he couldn’t believe you were having this conversation right now. But, he’d never deny you anything. “Fine, I’ll be your boyfriend as long as you get to be my girlfriend.”

“You have to ask me first.”

He blinked. “What?”

“You have to ask me to be your girlfriend first.”

Sylus pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Y/N, my love, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”

You grinned and smacked your lips against his. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Little did you know that Sylus had much bigger plans in mind than you being just his girlfriend. Fiancé was good, but wife was even better. You know, for the sake of socially acceptable labels, of course.

[zaffiri-saffici]

Thanks for tagging me here, @girl4music! Finally got the chance to read your post and was nodding my head the whole way through. You make such compelling points that are hard to argue against, if at all. And, as someone who is currently in the process of rewatching this show from start to finish, this additional context really alters your perspective of the thing you're seeing in such a fulfilling and important way!

I think when you reframe the show from the standpoint of it being an epic, slow burn romance between two women who are seemingly different yet absolute compliments to one another, what ends up happening is this: you realize that the cornerstone driving the whole show forward is the exploration of that exact thing.

Xena and Gabrielle, two parts of a whole, the "other half of a soul," finding each other, time and time again. In every lifetime, in every story, in every moment past, present, and future. This is especially evident when you examine some of the dialogue of the earlier seasons.

I am drawn back to the scene in "Prometheus" 1x08 where Gabrielle tells Iolaus the story of how the gods split people in two, forever walking the earth in search of the other desperate to be united because they share the same soul. You could even extend into the HTLJ episode "Armageddon Now Part II" 4x14 because of how much the franchise crossed over. Even though it's a past/altered timeline, it's important to take note of it. Ialous tells Xena she's destined for great things as a hero, and Xena's response to it is, "A hero? Me? Well, maybe I'll even find true love, huh?"

It's so telling because as we shift back to the present timeline and the Dahak arc, we can see that the thing so innately tied to Xena's redemption is this story of her journey with Gabrielle, that it is almost impossible to see XWP as anything else than this astounding tale. The love story of the ages.

(Can I also point out how funny it is that some of the most important dialogue that sets up this love story happens when they are both with Iolaus?)

The beauty of it all is that we, the passionate viewers of this incredible show, are privileged enough that we get to join them for this one snapshot in an eternity of stories of them reuniting and falling in love all over again and again and again—the absolute reunification of two halves of a whole.

One soul in two bodies.

It so happens that this particular story—the one where they find each other first as a warrior from Amphipolis and a bard from Potidaea, just so happens to be in Greece, in a time of ancient gods, warlords and kings.

Xena and Gabrielle: Character study thesis

This is a character study thesis for explaining and understanding how and why Xena and Gabrielle are, as I always like to call them, the human representation of ‘Yin-yang’. Putting forth a point of view that clearly identifies and exemplifies that they are one soul in two bodies throughout the whole show, and as you watch each episode in sequence, it becomes apparent that they swap over roles and become each other.

Section 1: What ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ is about.

What is the show about to begin with and how does it change to represent stronger and more substantiated content, that inadvertently revolutionizes the show passed its initial premise and delivers excellently written character development?

I could just say it’s an action/drama/comedy show about a female ex-warlord who has turned good and now helps the innocent to seek redemption for the evil things she’s done in her past, but that’s honestly not the truth… at least… not the whole truth. That’s just how it starts off. The show becomes much more than was ever intended for its original plan, and it seems almost by accident that it happens. What it becomes is something else entirely. What ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ is about, throughout all its seasons, is an EPIC romance about soulmates who find each other at the most critical time. The entire show is dedicated to the growth of these characters both as individuals and as a couple. They bring out the best in each other. It is a slow burn romance of best friends evolving into lovers. Very slow. But you see their connection from the very beginning. The evolution of these characters, in their individual storylines, and the storylines they have together, will be the main factor in the postulated idea that they were one soul in two bodies that eventually passed into each other. As you watch them, episode to episode, you see for yourself the evidence of that.

What my intention is with this character study is to point out when and where Xena and Gabrielle show signs of their spiritual essences permeating into each other through how much they influence each other’s mindset and personality. I don’t want to state the case that they turn into each other because they make each other that way. More so that they become each other because they are already whole at the soul level, but that it takes a lot of life experience in the negatives and positives to bring that out at the human level. It takes meeting each other and travelling together to set in motion the events of the indications of their oneness. To prove to them that they are indeed a part of each other because they are two parts of one whole. That’s what I will try to explain as best I can in this thesis to help you recognize this same perspective and understand as to why it’s important to be aware of as you watch the show. So that you can see and appreciate for yourself that stronger and substantiated content that shows you that you’re watching a story of the romance that is just as good, or in my opinion, BETTER than those classic love stories, such as ‘Romeo and Juliet’ or ‘Guinevere and Lancelot.’

Section 2: In the right place at the right time.

How does meeting each other play a huge part in the changing of Xena and Gabrielle’s lives, and why was it exactly at that moment in exactly that way that they did meet when it could have been at any other time and in any other place?

Forget about Xena’s introduction in ‘Hercules: The Legendary Journeys’ because this is really where it all starts. Not only Xena’s individual storyline in seeking her redemption for the sins of her past but also hers and Gabrielle’s storyline of going from sheer strangers to the most loyal of partners. They meet each other in the most unusual of circumstances. While during a fight. Gabrielle, as well as most of her town, including her mother and sister, gets taken hostage by Draco’s henchmen, Hector and his band of thugs. He has plans to take them to the ruthless warlord and sell them off to the highest bidder. Xena runs for the cover of the nearby bushes and watches as the young blonde bravely steps forward and demands from him to take her in exchange for letting the rest of the captured go. He raises his hand ready to whip her and that’s when our lead protagonist steps in to stop the situation. This saves Gabrielle from a severe beating, that in her brittle form, she probably wouldn’t have ever recovered from and eventually died.

Unbeknownst to the audience on a first watch, it is also the moment when Xena’s about to commit suicide. So, we take in the information that Gabrielle saved Xena’s life at the same time Xena saved hers. It’s so subtle, that if you don’t pay attention, you will miss this, and it will take you a couple of run-throughs watching the scene to notice it. There is evidence for this interpretation as it is revealed in Season 6, during the episode ‘Legacy’, where Xena admits to Gabrielle that she changed her mind, or rather, took over it enough so that she didn’t go through with it. This information changes the tone of the entire show, I would say, as it immediately brings you right into what it is that Xena and Gabrielle do best for one another. Change and save each other’s lives. Constantly preventing these dark tendencies of suicidal or self-sacrificial instances to keep each other alive. Therefore, they meet then and there to do just that. Change and save each other’s lives. The circumstances were foretold. It was destined that they should discover each other in and at that precise moment. For in that lifetime, if they had followed through with those events, they never would have discovered each other at all, as they would both be dead.

Section 3: The balance of ‘Yin and Yang’.

What is it that makes two completely opposite and contradictory forces interconnected and complementary, and how does this relate to Xena and Gabrielle and explain the intensity and seemingly intrinsic nature of their relationship so accurately?

I’ve been developing a theory for a while now about Xena and Gabrielle that’s about how they influenced each other in personality and changed each other emotionally. I sometimes refer to Xena and Gabrielle as ‘Yin and Yang’, as to me, they are the perfect human representation of duality. Basically, what I mean by that is that they are each other’s balance. Their spiritual essences permeate into each other throughout the course of the show, and this is my theory that they become as one by the end of it. I wanted to present that as an overall thesis because there was so much within the episodes that showed this incredible spiritual connection between these two characters that you just don’t pick up unless you are conscious of the perspective in the first place. 

Before we go into it, I first want to explain what I interpret ‘Yin and Yang’ to mean. ‘Yin and Yang’ are two polar oppositions. For example; the Dark principle and the Light principle. The principles are contradictory, but they complement each other in that one principle can provide what the other principle does not have. I use the analogy of a puzzle piece to explain this. A puzzle piece can only connect into another piece if that piece is the perfect opposite to it, otherwise, it can’t fit and therefore won’t connect. The pieces in a puzzle are designed in such a way so that they can fit into each other to create a bigger picture. It’s just the same as a soulmate, but I prefer to use the term puzzle piece, as it makes far more sense to me. ‘Yin and Yang’ are never separate as one needs the other to exist. Much like how you can’t have space without solid or solid without space. It cannot be either solid or space as neither principle can exist without the other there. It needs its polarity to exist in the first place. Even if these principles appear to be separated, they are not, as neither is what it is without its significant other, or it cannot function properly without it. Understand what I mean by that? “Shadow and Light are two sides of the same coin, one cannot exist without the other”, as Zelda so beautifully put it in ‘The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess’ game.

Let’s get on to how Xena and Gabrielle are the perfect human representation of ‘Yin and Yang’, and how they influenced each other in personality and changed each other emotionally because they are soulmates. Think about how opposite the pair is and how that might be beneficial to them in a relationship. Xena is very mind-orientated. She thinks three steps ahead of the game. Constantly thinking, planning and measuring. This gives her extreme advantage in battle, as she always knows what to do before she does it. To begin with, she has a lot of trouble with intimacy and emotion and is very stiff and stoic. So she isn’t much of a talker, other than the few well-thought-out intimidating lines to her foes. But because of this, she’s very good at listening to others and listening to her surroundings, which proves to be very useful to Gabrielle, who is very heart-orientated. Gabrielle feels, and she feels very deeply. This causes her to act before she thinks and that gets her into a lot of trouble in the early episodes of the show, which Xena just happens to have the ability and the quick strategic thinking to sort out. To begin with, Gabrielle is naïve and idealistic. But because of this, she is a fantastic storyteller and is very compassionate, therefore can offer emotional support and healing to those that need a bit of a pick me up at times, such as Xena. Do you see how their differences in strengths and weaknesses help to aid each other? One can give what the other lacks. They feed off each other. They fill the empty spaces in their lives as individuals by being together. They need each other to be all that they are and to evolve as people. Together, they are a complete whole. This is precisely what ‘Yin and Yang’ stands for. It’s balance. The scales are equal in the principles when together but unequal when apart. They balance each other out.

So, as I’ve stated above, this leads me to a theory that because Xena and Gabrielle can influence each other in personality and change each other emotionally like this, eventually they swap over roles. The principles correlate with each other so much that they end up passing into each other and by the end of the show, Xena and Gabrielle become each other.

Section 4: A dark heart is shadowed until the light shines in.

How do the consequences of a dark past have an extremely effective influence over the thoughts and feelings of the Warrior Princess, and why isn’t a guilty conscience enough for her to stay on the road to redemption and walk it without promising to her compassionate companion that she would not return to her old ways?

The introduction of the character Callisto to the show adds a much heavier layer to what is already an overwhelming story of redemption, vengeance, love, forgiveness and balance, which are to me, the main themes in the show that are reiterated repeatedly as it progresses in writing, production and direction. Callisto becomes the main villain in the show, but she isn’t your run-of-the-mill evil villain. Oh, no, no, no. I like to think of Callisto as more of an antagonist than a villain. She has an extremely complicated storyline of her own that inexplicably ties in with Xena’s because Xena murdered her family, or so that’s what she adamantly believes. It’s hard to explain or understand just how much this character is an integral reason for Xena’s reformation from being an evil warlord to a heroine for good, and how the consequences of her dark past have really screwed Callisto up and turned her into, for lack of a better word, a psychopath who is absolutely bent on destroying everything that makes Xena who she is. Starting with her reputation, and eventually escalating to the people she loves and cares about in all the world. This character is so crucial to ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’, that there is never any way to stop her even when she dies. She’s that dedicated to ruining Xena and Gabrielle’s lives. Callisto doesn’t just want to kill Xena. She wants to kill her soul because that is what Xena has done to her. It’s hard to think of Callisto as any kind of villain because you develop such sympathy for her throughout all her appearances in the show. She’s so messed up in the head that you just don’t think of her as an evil person, just an extremely depressed and misunderstood one. What happens to her, in the end, is something that needed to happen, and I was unbelievably happy did. She did terrible things, but she needed the opportunity to be saved and forgiven as Xena did, and fortunately, the show’s producers gave her the ending she deserved.

This leads me on to what happens when Callisto meets Xena face to face for the first time in the late Season 1 episode, titled ‘Callisto’, and how Gabrielle plays a part in stopping Xena from crumbling down in guilt and regret and letting her go because of it once they captured her. Xena doesn’t blame Callisto for how she ended up, knowing that it was her own fault she became that way in the first place. Even if she didn’t mean for her family to be killed in the fire her own men started against her orders all those years ago in ‘Cirra’, Callisto’s hometown, she still felt solely responsible for the consequences that followed.

There is a very important scene, which I call ‘The Promise’ scene, from this episode where Gabrielle asks Xena to promise her that if anything happened to her in their travels together, that she would not turn away from her path of atonement, and rampage like a raving blood-lusted lunatic the way Callisto was. You see for the first time Xena’s vulnerability and struggle with sensitivity. She was finding it so difficult to cry in front of Gabrielle. She tries to send her off to bed before she could see the tears streaming down her face, but Gabrielle wasn’t having it. She made sure she promised her, and that she was sincere with the words. She sees the tears and tries to brush them away from her face. Xena immediately turns away from her and tells her to go to bed, but she doesn’t move. Gabrielle just sits there by her side sharing her pain and accepting her for who she is now, which I find extremely powerful and beautiful. Xena has probably never encountered acceptance like that in her life before, or she wasn’t paying enough attention to see it. The fact that Gabrielle refuses to leave her must have thrown her off. She left herself unguarded for the very first time in her life in front of this young woman. As the flickering flames danced before them, illuminating their faces, we see the Warrior Princess’ walls down for the very first time. The Bard had succeeded in bringing out her sensitive side, if only just for a moment. This would be the beginning of a transformation so intense, it would completely change Xena’s personality and mindset forevermore. Love and forgiveness would be her saving grace, and the beautiful soul sat across from her would be the reason why it happened at all.

Flashing forward to Season 4… When Xena lost Gabrielle she focused on trying to see her again instead of going back to her old ways. In ‘Adventures In The Sin Trade’, while searching for her, she realizes she had to put something right that she caused to happen in her history. Keeping her promise to Gabrielle, she tells her that she can’t carry on in her search for her. Sticking to ‘The Greater Good’, as that is what she would want her to do.

The final sections to this character study thesis are to tie up loose ends in the perspective and conclude the overall point that there was a lot of logic and reasoning to give the opinion that Xena and Gabrielle are the human representation of ‘Yin-yang’, that served on the basis of proof that they passed into and became each other in the end, as one, and will forever be together in all the alternative realities, soul reincarnations, and any denominations of the afterlife they would experience because their love was just that strong.

Section 5: The three-way love triangle.

How does Gabrielle and Ares’ interesting dynamic significantly impact Xena, and what is it that seems to make the Warrior Princess side with the Battling Bard and reject the God of War, despite having an unwillingness to do so, and no control over the situations she’s put in?

To start off, we’ll talk about what it is that Gabrielle and Ares have in common if anything. Obviously, it’s Xena. They both have a thing for her, but it’s more than that. They both also have an influence on her in different ways. It appears that Ares is Xena’s Dark side and Gabrielle is Xena’s Light side. This is what I really want to explain in-depth here to show the significant changes in Xena’s personality and mindset in her daily life travelling with Gabrielle and not being guided by Ares anymore. So, we’ve established that Gabrielle is Xena’s Light. Xena even refers to her as that in ‘Adventures In The Sin Trade’, just as she was deciding on what to do between looking for her or helping the Amazon tribe pass over into eternity. She chooses to do the latter, as she knows it’s what Gabrielle would want her to do, and she dedicates that specific good deed to her later in the second part of the story, exclaiming, “This one’s for you, Gabrielle.” So Gabrielle’s influence on Xena was for her to dedicate her time, energy and life to ‘The Greater Good’. Helping others and being a heroine for the world.

In Season 5, in the episode ‘Succession’, after Gabrielle’s physical transformation into a sai-wielding warrior, Ares offers Gabrielle a chance to become his ‘Warrior Queen’, even though he has absolutely no interest in her at all when it comes to who deserves the opportunity to carry on the God of Wars’ mantle. He wouldn’t give it to Mavican, and at that time, she was clearly the better fighter. So why was it that he was offering the position to Gabrielle of all people? Why is he giving her a chance to prove herself as a worthy candidate? Twice, in fact, he makes this odd proposition to her. Now, this isn’t really brought up in the show, but I personally think it comes down to his tendency to use people as leverage to get to others. In this case, Xena. I personally feel he had no intention of giving Gabrielle the honour of what he would gladly give Xena if she were to take it. But he knew if there was one thing that would make her take it, Gabrielle would be it. Gabrielle was his sway over her resolve. This, I believe, was a plan he was concocting for a long time since he knew that Gabrielle was her weakness, and yet the only thing that stood against him when it came to manipulating Xena into being triggered into her warlord ways again. It wasn’t her father or her mother or even her son. It was always Gabrielle. Gabrielle was the ticket to getting his way, and he used her in ‘Succession’ and ‘Seeds Of Faith’ as a ploy to force Xena to say “yes” to being his ‘Warrior Queen’.

Which then leads us on to the way Gabrielle thought about Ares. Her opinion of what his constant attempts to try winning Xena over from her would ultimately do to her. It would destroy her and everything she’s worked for in seeking her redemption. According to Gabrielle, he would be her downfall to be a better person. A person that wasn’t necessarily good or bad, but someone who would always choose the selfish route because she wouldn’t be given the choice to do the opposite. THIS WAS IT! This was why Gabrielle always won the battle for Xena’s love and affection. That choice of being good or evil. Gabrielle gave her a CHOICE, whereas Ares never did. Gabrielle did not try to manipulate, condition or control Xena. What she did was something far greater than that. She showed her that living for others would be more fulfilling than living for herself. She reminded her that although she could do anything she desired, the consequences were that she would never be truly happy, and innocents would suffer. Gabrielle had so much faith in Xena, that even when she did do something wrong, she trusted that Xena could find her own way out of it when it was showcased several times in the show that she could not without her help. Xena loved her immensely for this reason and despised Ares because he provided her with no other alternative. Before Gabrielle came into Xena’s life, Xena thought Ares’ ways were all there was for her, and she just couldn’t live with herself anymore.

So now we come to the overall impact this Light and Dark dynamic had on Xena. The events in the episode, ‘Chakram’, told Gabrielle that Xena couldn’t be entirely on one side of the spectrum or the other. She needed both her Light and Dark to be the best warrior she could be and to do the most good she could. But she didn’t need Ares because Gabrielle succeeded in doing what Ares never could. That was bringing her back into the Dark enough to balance her as a person. Enough to bring her sense-of-self back. You see, despite wanting Xena to be in complete opposition to that, Gabrielle was able to understand how much both sides were needed, and the importance of that duality. This means we’ve uncovered something amazing to do with Gabrielle’s individual influence over Xena. That Gabrielle wasn’t just her Light. She was also her way of staying balanced. She was the reason the real Xena, as we know her to be, existed, as the Light cannot exist without the Dark, as previously stated in Section 3 of this thesis. Gabrielle was her balance. Her reason for existing, at least, until the moment came when she had to sacrifice her life and her happiness to follow the ‘Way Of The Warrior’ and be ultimately redeemed.

Section 6: No going back and no way forward.

How does being in an alternative reality affect the Battling Bard’s personality and mindset once she encounters Xena within it, why does she behave so differently and aggressively in this reality, and what made her make such a drastic decision to destroy ‘The Universe’ when we, as the audience, know how much she values the peace and well-being of human life?

Gabrielle, to begin with, is idealistic, empathetic, persuasive, philosophical, spiritual, kind, compassionate, naïve, enthusiastic; the labels that define one being heart-orientated. That changes as the show progresses. Gabrielle becomes quite a complex character that has a lot of layers to her as she’s making her transition through the show. A lot of her personality becomes very nuanced. You’ll have to look quite deeply into her character to pick up her personality later in the show, much like you do with Xena in the earlier episodes. Xena, to begin with, does not put her heart on her sleeve. She is so stoic that one can’t have a solid grasp on her true personality because her heart is guarded, and she protects it by being strong-minded. By not talking or expressing herself in any audible way. She has issues with showing intimacy and emotion. That starts happening to Gabrielle too with all that happens to her in Season 3 and 4. She develops that stoic-ness, only she’s a lot more able to handle it because she has a lot more emotional strength and is much more expressive than Xena is. She’s able to express how she feels when she’s upset easier than Xena can. She’s able to be that emotional person without lashing out and going way over-the-top with it or holding it all in so that eventually it all explodes anyway.

The one time when this doesn’t happen, and she does indeed go over-the-top and lash out emotionally, is in the Season 6 episode ‘When Fates Collide’. Not only does she, in her blind rage and desperation, disregard all consequences for humanity and reality as she knew it, and destroys the alternative Universe, but she also makes it very apparent that she blames ‘The Fates’ for the mess of the loom, and the situation her and Xena were in, rather than Caesar. That is very uncharacteristic of her. That doesn’t sound like the Gabrielle we know, that would always take in all information first before making such judgement, and that would always see the good in all before accusing them of any kind of wrongdoing. What happened? Where’s our compassionate gal gone? Why is this how she acts in this episode? You could make the argument that she was living such a peaceful life in this alternative Universe that any kind of brush with danger and trauma would fire her up immediately, making her extremely angry and reckless, and make her do something she would possibly end up regretting. Selfishly and heartlessly putting all of humankind aside just to vent her emotions. That is a valid argument… However, I think it has more to do with the fact that Gabrielle, regardless of which Universe she’s in, is one of these people that just can’t be at peace with doing the same thing day in and day out, and not having any sort of surprise or shock or thrill. Not having a change in the schedule. After all, isn’t that why she left her home to travel with Xena in the primary Universe? It’s because she was sick of the conservative, boring lifestyle and wanted an adventurous, exciting lifestyle where no two days were ever the same.

So, you see, it’s not uncalled for that Gabrielle would react like this although it seems that way. There is sufficient reasoning behind it. But what strikes me most is how quickly she breaks the mould of the peaceful playwright, as she’s known to be in this Universe, as soon as she comes into contact with Xena, who is known as the Empress Of Rome. Despite knowing her for a few candle marks at best, she is already so invested in her that she becomes this emotional and aggressive when Julius Caesar sentences Xena to death and wants to do something about the unfortunate condition she’s in. We know it’s because they’re soulmates, but these characters don’t know that. They aren’t aware of everything to do with the former reality, so why is Gabrielle acting this way despite living a tranquil life? Something within her changed, and it was a quick change because in the former reality this was always her fate. That she’d never remain the Gabrielle that was innocent and sweet and calm when her karma comes to intertwine with Xena’s so strongly. There was a fire in her. A rebellious attitude that was just waiting to be unleashed. This was meant to be, and somehow, she knew that. She knew that’s the way it was supposed to be. So she didn’t care. She chose to destroy ‘The Universe’ because living an entire lifetime without Xena just wasn’t acceptable. Xena and Gabrielle were so much a part of each other, that it didn’t matter how long or little they knew each other for in any lifetime. They were connected in every single one of them and would be for eternity. This much, made sense to Gabrielle, that nothing else was beyond or above it. She wanted to get back to the life where she never felt empty or lost or bored. She wanted Xena and she didn’t care what she had to do or had to give up to get her.

It is my personal belief that Gabrielle behaved this way because it was inevitable that she would become just like Xena, as her original wish was to be just that. Xena would permeate into her personality so much that it would ultimately and completely change her emotionally. Even using such terms and phrases the likes Xena would use to get her way, such as “so be it!” For better or worse she was the other half of Xena’s soul and although their personalities were so contradictory, they complemented each other so perfectly that they eventually passed into each other, so that even their personalities were the same. It really didn’t matter what timeline, Universe, dimension, reincarnation or afterlife they were in… they still weren’t balanced or whole without each other because they were one. They were one whole soul. 

Section 7: “You’re where I belong, I belong with you.”

How does travelling with Xena all those years make Gabrielle feel about her, and why does she choose to be with Xena’s family over her own family, or even her Amazon tribe, when she finally would be laid to rest?

In the episode from Season 6, titled ‘The Abyss’, Gabrielle gets wounded and is on the verge of dying from pneumonia. She confesses to Xena that her dying wish was to be buried with Xena’s family; Cyrene and Lyceus. This confession threw Xena off-guard, as that is probably the most tragically romantic thing you could ever say to someone. Furthermore, she explains why she’d rather be buried with Xena’s family than her own. She’s basically saying, “I’m dying, but I still want to be with you. You are more important to me than anyone else in my life”, and that’s pretty freaking intense. I do not blame Xena for the tears rolling down her cheek. It’s a beautiful statement, and yet so upsetting at the same time. She has taken Gabrielle away from her family, even if she didn’t mean to, and she’s chastising herself mentally for it, as we see a little later in the scene where she says she’s lead her on a path she was never meant to walk. To Gabrielle, she couldn’t be more wrong. Gabrielle has always considered Xena her “home”. She’s stated several times that with and to Xena is where she belongs. Xena is her path. So it’s not surprising that she would have a wish like this. It’s a testament to show how much Gabrielle is invested in Xena’s life. From the very start when she met her and chose to travel with her on the road, to the very end, when she stated that Xena was her whole life and that she refused to lose her.

It’s sad, but beautiful and romantic at the same time. Tragic romance. It’s kind of like ‘Romeo and Juliet’, only she never took her own life at the reality of Xena being dead and staying that way. At least, I hope she didn’t, because that would be truly tragic. The overall point is that no matter what, Gabrielle would always choose Xena. It’s paramount to her to always be with Xena. Even in death. You don’t make a statement like the one she did in this episode unless you are 100%, unequivocally, unconditionally in love with the person.

This is a character study video showcasing how much Xena and Gabrielle need each other in their lives to stay on the right path for themselves. Xena seeking her redemption and being a fighter for ‘The Greater Good’. Gabrielle transitioning from a simple village girl into a warrior. This video looks into what it is they most desire in their hearts. To belong. They belong to and with each other. This is a collaboration between me and @warriorbard-always.

Conclusion: “In a flurry of snow, two breaths of wind unite and become as one, and then disappear into each other.”

How will Gabrielle deal with the shocking, unannounced death of her beloved, and will she respect her wish and love her enough to let her go so she can receive her ultimate redemption and an eternal rest?

After being told that Xena has to stay dead, Gabrielle goes through the motions of understanding as to why. She takes the information in and ponders it, but you can see the defiance on her face. The morally justified Bard makes a bold statement, exclaiming that she doesn’t care about the 40,000 souls that would be eternally damned if Xena were brought back to life. She doesn’t agree. She doesn’t think it’s right. She wrestles with her own code of conduct. The same code she asked Xena to stick to all those years ago in that longhouse in Tripolis when she was wounded by a poisoned arrow and had only hours to live. Back then it felt right to say ‘The Greater Good’ was more important than her own life. But of course, it’s not her own life she is losing now, is it? Gabrielle, once again, is stuck between a rock and a hard place. She must decide whether to accept the consequences of her beloved passing on into eternity or denying her an eternal rest, and her ultimate redemption. It may be the hardest choice she has ever made. The poetic verse in the title of the final section of this thesis perfectly describes exactly what happened to Xena and Gabrielle throughout the course of the entire show, which leads me to the conclusion of it. When Xena disappeared at the end of the final episode of ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’, ‘A Friend In Need Part II’, what happened was she transferred over the last of her spiritual essence into Gabrielle. Gabrielle had a lot of her spirit already within her, which is what allowed her to touch Xena physically when material objects like her chakram just went right through her. That didn’t happen with Gabrielle because they shared a spiritual connection that was so intense, it proved to us that they are one soul in two bodies. One body of which no longer existed, but the spirit still lived on in Gabrielle, so that instead, they became one soul in one body. This meant that Gabrielle was now just as much of a capable warrior as Xena was and would be just fine on her own in carrying on the legacy of the Warrior Princess because she never really was on her own at all. Ever. Xena was always with her. She was just inside her, and therefore, had the ability to appear beside her in ethereal form, from the other side, even though she no longer had a physical body. This is just how Gabrielle remembered her in her heart. With such a graphic imagination as hers and hundreds of self-written stories describing her, she could create the exact form of the woman she fell in love with standing right beside her whenever she wanted and could still physically touch her and hold her.

At the apex of it all, Xena and Gabrielle weren’t just perfectly balanced, they were also physically complete. This is the true nature of ‘Yin-yang’. My most personal headcanon for the show is the belief that when it did come time for Gabrielle to die, she chose to be cremated like Xena, so she could combine her ashes with Xena’s. Knowing because they’re soulmates, they’re connected as one and will be together for eternity, in many lifetimes and beyond.

Summary: You can love someone so deeply and so intensely that you become one with them, and not only that, but you can also pass into them, so that you become them, and they become you. It’s through this that you will come to the realization that you are one in the same. There was never any separation between you, and there never will be because there was never a beginning, nor will there be an end. You and them and your love can only be an end in itself, as you were always one soul in two bodies all along. This is how beautiful and powerful true love between soulmates is.

“The highest state of human love is the unity of one soul in two bodies.” - Sri Aurobindo.

My character study video for Xena, detailing the challenges she went through both when she was evil and good, showing that she needed both to become the hero she does, and commit to ‘The Greater Good’.

Dear Xena,

You have been through so many challenges that took a toll on your heart and soul in your search for redemption. There were times when you let yourself slip back into your old ways out of anger and hatred, but with the help of your Light, you found the willpower to get yourself back on track again. You were finally able to reconcile with your Dark side, knowing that without it, you would not be the force you need to be for ‘The Greater Good’. You came to understand how important it was for you to stay balanced so that you would always have the skill, strength and determination to fight evil, and be the Warrior Princess we all know and love.

My character study video for Gabrielle that took 2 days to make. It is in dedication to my favourite character of all time, with the greatest written character development and evolution that I have ever seen in my entire life. It’s about time she was honoured as the true warrior and hero she is.

Dear Gabrielle,

In your immense journey in evolving into a warrior, you learned that the fighting, violence and pain was inevitable and unavoidable. Despite all you had to go through and all you’ve overcome, you’ve still managed to remain on the side of ‘The Greater Good’, when so many things and unfair experiences that happened to you were completely the total opposite from anywhere even close to great or good. It got really Dark for you at times, yet you never lost your Light. You only ever realized that it was worth fighting for it. I respect and admire you for the huge amount of emotional strength you had to have in order to be able to stay sane. My incredible Battling Bard… I really hope I did you justice!

[jaikoyaki]

BAD TUTORS

//Pham Hanni x Reader x Kim Minji//Hogwarts Au//

SYPNOSIS: Y/N L/N, a struggling Gryffindor student with grades barely hanging on by a thread,  desperately needed a tutor. Her scores in Charms? Embarrassing. Potions? flabbergasting. Transfiguration? Let’s not even go there.  So, in a stroke of what she thought was genius. Y/N L/N had an idea. Why settle for one tutor when she could have two? And not just any two—she managed to rope in Kim Minji and Pham Hanni, the top Ravenclaws of their year.

TAGS: Short Oneshot, Harry Potter AU, Fem!Reader, Gryffindor!Reader

WORD COUNT: 1.2k

WARNINGS: Arguments/conflict (nothing toxic, just bickering), not proofread i got this idea at 2am

Y/N L/N, a struggling Gryffindor student with grades barely hanging on by a thread, desperately needed a tutor. Her scores in Charms? Embarrassing. Potions? Flabbergasting. Transfiguration? Let’s not even go there. So, in a stroke of what she thought was genius. Y/N L/N had an idea.

Why settle for one tutor when she could have two? And not just any two—she managed to rope in Kim Minji and Pham Hanni, the top Ravenclaws of their year.

The logic? Two Ravenclaw brains meant double the expertise, right?

WRONG.

DEAD WRONG.

Unbeknownst to Y/N, these two had been at each other’s throats since forever. The idea of tutoring together? Hell no, they’d rather scrub cauldron bottoms in Snape’s dungeon while listening to Jojo Siwa on repeat for eternity. That’s how much they hate each other. But despite their mutual hate for each other, they had one thing in common:

They both liked Y/N L/N.

And that was enough for them to reluctantly say yes.

Big mistake. Huge.

Now, Y/n not only had to deal with her sinking grades but also a splitting headache.

"Please, you barely even survived the last transfiguration quiz,"

Minji sneered, adjusting her Ravenclaw tie as she leaned over Y/N’s Transfiguration textbook, shooting a smug glance at Hanni from her spot on Y/N's right.

The shorter girl, seated to Y/N’s left, rolled her eyes. "I still got a 97, thank you very much."

"And who was the one with a 100?" Minji crossed her arms, a smirk tugging at her lips.

Y/N groaned, pressing her forehead against the wooden table of the Hogwarts library. Madam Pince gave them a warning glare from the counter, but Y/N couldn’t even muster the energy to care. She threw her hands up, whisper yelling. “Guys. Hello?? I got a 67. Can we maybe focus on that?”

Both girls immediately stopped arguing, their attention snapping back to Y/N as if they’d completely forgotten why they were there.

“Right,” Minji said, clearing her throat and pulling Y/N’s textbook closer. “Transfiguration basics. Let’s start with the theory-”

Hanni cut in before Minji could say more. “Actually, practical application is way more helpful. Here—” She pulled out her wand, aiming it at a nearby quill. “Let me show you.”

“Are you dumb? Theory first,” Minji insisted, glaring at Hanni. “She needs to understand the principles before she tries the spell.”

“Hands-on practice works better,” Hanni argued, her voice rising.

There they go again!

Y/N finally snapped, slamming her hands on the table with enough force to make both girls startled.

“Merlin’s beard, I’d rather be stuck with Peeves right now!”

Both girls blinked, guilt flickering across their faces. For a brief moment, the library was silent, save for the rustling of pages and the occasional distant cough.

Hanni cleared her throat, pulling the textbook closer as if to reclaim her composure. “Fine. Theory first.”

Your head’s spinning, but not from learning. No, it’s from enduring the non-stop back-and-forth between your two so-called tutors. Somehow, despite their constant bickering, you’ve managed to slog through a few pages of your Transfiguration textbook. A miracle, honestly.

On your left, Hanni is hyper-focused, her quill flying over parchment as she scribbles notes. On your right, Minji is—wait. She’s doodling tiny frogs in the margins of your notebook.

“Stop ruining her notes,” Hanni snaps, snatching the notebook away with a sharp glare.

Minji looks completely unbothered. “Relax, they’re just frogs. Frogs are cute.”

You let out a tired sigh, dropping your head onto the table. “Can we, I don’t know, focus for five minutes? Please?”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Minji straightens up, putting the quill aside. She glances at you and clears her throat. “Alright. Let’s go over the steps again.”

She shifts her chair closer—closer than necessary—and suddenly she’s leaning over the book. Your breath catches as her face ends up mere inches from yours.

Too close.

This is too close.

“Here, This part's simple” she says, her voice soft now. Her gaze flickers to you, and it’s intense in a way that makes your heart skip a beat. “Just… visualize the transformation.”

You swallow hard, nodding like your brain hasn’t turned to mush. Her words barely register because all you can think about is the way her hair brushes your arm…

or how her lips curve when she speaks.

Or—what the hell?

Why are you noticing these things?

Why can't you stop staring?

“Got it? “ Minji tilted her head, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

Does she know?

Does she know what she’s doing to you?

“Y-yeah, got it yeah.” Your fingers twitch, desperate for something to ground you. The textbook. Yes, focus on the textbook. Not Minji.

Before you could process what just happened, Hanni abruptly stood, the sharp scrape of her chair against the wooden floor snapping your attention back to the room.

“That’s enough theory,” she said, her voice clipped with irritation she wasn’t bothering to hide. Her smile, directed at Minji, was overly sweet, almost mocking, and didn’t even try to reach her eyes. “Practical application, remember?”

Before you could react, she stepped between you and Minji, positioning herself right in the middle. Her movements were deliberate—her hand gripping your chair as she tugged it closer to hers, the legs dragging noisily against the floor. Minji’s chair, on the other hand, was nudged a few inches away with a not-so-accidental shove.

“There,” Hanni said brightly, flashing Minji another insincere smile before turning her full attention to you. “You'll understand it better if I guide you.” She reasoned

Minji rolled her eyes but didn’t protest. Still, you didn’t miss the way her jaw tightened.

Hanni crouched slightly to meet your eye level, her wand already in hand. Without hesitation, she placed her free hand over yours, adjusting your grip on your own wand. The warmth of her touch was unexpected, her fingers steady as they moved against yours, and for a moment, your brain lagged, struggling to keep up with anything other than the closeness.

You hadn’t even realized you were gripping your wand too tightly.

“Relax, dummy.” she said, her voice softer now, the earlier irritation gone. “You’re holding it too tight—loosen your wrist.”

Relax? How were you supposed to relax when she was this close?

You swallowed hard, opting to nod instead of answering, since your voice would absolutely betray you. She shifted closer, her face only inches from yours as she adjusted your grip. The faint scent of vanilla and old books lingered around her, very distracting and impossible to ignore.

“Do you always feel the need to get this close when you're tutoring people?” Minji scoffs her eyes narrowing as they flicker between you and Hanni.

“What’s your problem?” Hanni stilled for a moment, her hand hovering over yours, before snapping her head around to glare at Minji. “It’s easier for her to learn if I’m close.”

“You’re clearly—”

And just like that, the two were at it again, their voices rising in sharp contrast to the library’s quiet atmosphere.

You exhaled deeply, This wasn’t what you’d signed up for—not the bickering, and certainly not the headache growing behind your temples. Finally, you stood up and grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder with more force than necessary.

This was a waste of time.

You didn’t bother looking back as you walked toward the library exit.

Maybe Danielle would be less… messy.

Maybe.

Might make a part 2 idk

[marsbutterfly]

MECHANIC BADDIE HANJI WHO FIXES UP READERS CAR. SHES ALL LIKE I CAN TAKE CARE OF IT DARLING. YOU JUST SIT THERE AND LOOK PRETTY. (IDK SHIT ABOUT CARS) JUST NEED AN ACTS OF SERVICE HANJI

I'll Fix It All

a/n: omg happy new year!! this turned out way longer than I originally intended for it to be. i was hoping to post it before the year turned but i'll also accept the first day of the year lol. enjoy.

warnings: fem!reader (she/her), nb! hanji zoe (they/them), modern au, anxiety, panic attacks, kissing, fluff, comfort. also like, i don't know much about cars or car repair so pls bear with me. tagging: @wizzy21 wc: 2.5k | wattpad! | ao3!

"No, no, no, no, NO!" You cry out as your car slowly begins to lose speed. This isn't the first time this week, nor the second, nor the third. You couldn't even count on one hand the amount of times the engine had been making that weird noise and the light had been blinking at you like a malevolent eye.

But you thought you could put it off, that you could easily ignore it, and that it would fix itself like it had many times before. Maybe you just needed to check the coolant or add some more water to the radiator, except you continuously forgot to do so. And it finally came back to bite you in the ass.

As the smoke comes out of the hood, you grip the steering wheel tightly, a loud grunt escaping your lips as your forehead presses against the horn, the loud noise filling the air all around you. Still, you are lucky enough to be in a somewhat empty area so the least amount of people will be disturbed.

Your first instinct is to panic. You can feel the blood rushing through your body, your face getting warmer as a few tears begin to prickle in your eyes. You let out a shaky exhale, cursing yourself for allowing this situation to happen in the first place. Before you can even begin to cry, you feel your phone vibrating in the cup holder next to you, the caller's name showing up on the screen attached to the dashboard. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ‎‎‎"Sunshine ☼"

With a sniffle, you wipe the tears before they even have the chance to roll down your cheeks and pick up your phone, pressing the green button on the screen as you try your best to sound like you are composed and not entirely freaking out at the moment.

"Hello, my most beloved," you say, trying your best to sound like your playful self. Though it has no sound, you can almost hear the smile dropping off Hanji's face. It was not out of the ordinary for them to quickly pick up on the slightest change in your tone of voice.

"What happened?" They ask without missing a beat, the tone of their voice filled with love and concern, almost as if they were already expecting you to be in some sort of distress. "I was doing the dishes and accidentally broke a glass because I got such a bad feeling that my hand started shaking."

You sniffle but a small giggle exits your chest, the idea that the two of you are so intertwined that they can even sense when you are in some sort of distress, "Yeah, I'm fine… My car just finally gave out on me and I'm in the middle of a random neighborhood because I decided today, out of all days, to take a random shortcut!"

"Send me your location, and I'll get my tools and meet you over there," they say and you can already hear them moving around on the other end of the line. You wish you could protest but, the more you look at your car, the more panic fills your body. So you simply let out a quiet "okay" before hanging up.

Though your hands nervously shake, you can open your text messages and send Hanji a pin of your exact location. It isn't too far from your house, maybe five minutes if you speed up, and that knowledge only adds more fuel to your frustration. "Why now? I could have easily pulled into my driveway before you gave out!" You can't help the angry grunt that leaves your throat as you slam your hand against the steering wheel.

The waiting time seems like an eternity, an eerie feeling in the back of your mind like you are being watched. Your eyes dart to your phone, half convinced that maybe you should just call a toll truck when you see the headlights of Hanji's motorcycle as they speed down the road.

The light from the post shines above them and you can barely distinguish if they are an angel or a real person. As soon as their bike is parked behind your car, you exit the vehicle, running towards their embrace.

Their hair is still messy from having a helmet on and they hold a small toolbox with their left hand, but that does not stop them from hugging you as tightly as they possibly can. Their lips press against your head as the two of you remain like that for a while.

"Shhh, it's ok, my love," you can feel the smile in their voice, a gentleness like nothing you have ever experienced before, "Hanji is here to fix your problems."

"I truly appreciate you coming this fast," you whisper against their chest, "I genuinely thought my car would be able to handle the journey today but… I guess I was wrong."

"Did you have any trouble starting it this morning?" They pull back, their arm still wrapped around your frame. You think for a second, having trouble focusing on anything other than this panicky feeling in your chest.

Slowly, you begin to remember your day: you left work and the car started. You left for lunch and the car started. Clearly, it had started when you left home that morning… Didn't it?

"Oh shit…" You whisper while an embarrassed expression takes over your features. Your eyes shift towards the ground as you pull slightly further away to create a bigger distance between your bodies, too self-conscious to even look at them. "I couldn't get the engine to turn this morning. I had to start it, put it in neutral, and then start it again."

They nod, kissing your forehead once more as they stand in front of the hood of your car. You are still too embarrassed to look but you can hear the moment their toolbox touches the ground and as their hands pop it open. A few seconds go by as they begin tinkering with the metal inside, though your knowledge of cars isn't deep enough for you to fully understand what is going on.

You cross one arm against your chest while the other rests above your hand, your index finger tapping on your cheek while you can't help but take small nibbles on your thumb's nail. The anxiety inside of your chest never dissipates, nor the shame.

The morning had been nothing but a blur. You woke up late for work, forgot to eat or even bring anything to snack on until you had time to go to lunch, spilled water all over your car, and, to top it all off, it was raining in the morning. The engine not starting was just one of the many, many things that had gone wrong. You meant to text Hanji about it so they could meet you during your work hours and fix it but, of course, you forgot to charge your phone the night before.

You close your eyes and exhale, leaning against the car. Before you can get yourself into a frenzy, you hear Hanji's gentle voice pulling you out of the dark spiral you were about to send yourself into, "Okay, good news and bad news."

"Please explain it to me like I'm five," you say, shooting them an exhausted look and it causes them to chuckle quietly. "Bad news first."

"The alternator, or thing that charges your car battery, isn't properly working for some reason. Maybe because it's old, maybe it's faulty, but it for sure will not start working again, like, that thing is dead."

You nod, surprisingly following along with what they are telling you. You realize that all this knowledge comes from the previous times they have come to your aid or maybe from all the times they would check under the hood of your car before you left their house while the two of you still lived in separate households. Regardless, you turn your attention to them once more.

"I checked the fluid and the coolant and everything seems to be full and working ok. I ran some codes and nothing out of the ordinary popped up and lastly, I checked your oil." They say, wiping the grime out of their hands with a bleached towel, their face slightly sweaty, especially around the area where their glasses sit on their nose.

"Fuck… And the good news?" You ask, biting your nails even more, almost to the point of blood. With a gentle and concerned expression, Hanji takes a few steps forward, wrapping their dirty digits around your trembling palms, and only then do you notice just how short your nails have become.

"I can easily fix it. The last one we bought still has a warranty, so I can just change them." They whisper, placing a kiss against your fingers. A sense of despair fills your body again as tears prickle at the corners of your eyes, your lip trembling as you speak in a quiet yet pathetic voice.

"Please, don't leave me alone."

They sigh, running their hand over their messy hair. They look over to the open hood of your car and around the neighborhood, trying to think about what the best choice would be in this situation.

"The store is fifteen minutes away, on my bike, I'll be back in - "

"Please, don't leave me alone!!" You beg desperately, whatever is left of your fingernails now digging into the skin of their biceps, your eyes are wide open as tears stream down. You weren't that upset about the car breaking down, but just the intensity of all the feelings you had been holding back finally caught up to you the moment you realized you would have to be without them for even a second.

Hanji is taken aback by how sudden your response is, and how desolate you sound. They can see the anxiety written all over your features and it causes their heart to ache in their chest. That's the moment in which they realize just how many feelings you have been bottling, just how bad your week has been, and just how you have refused to talk to them about it.

Almost like they gain consciousness, their arms wrap around your frame, pulling you closer to their body. In exchange, you bury your head on their chest, not carrying that their shirt is now covered in grime and sweat, even if it is chilly outside. "Is there anything you want to talk about?" They whisper, their lips pressed against the top of your head.

You want to shake your head, to put your walls up once more and brush it off as "just a bad day", but it was more than that. It had been a bad week, a bad month, and you had gone through it all by yourself, in silence. Crying in the shower but still putting on a smile when around them, your appetite barely exists but you still eat all of their cooking. But before you can deny anything, the tears begin pouring down your face once more, you cling to them like they are the last life vest on a sinking ship.

“I d-don’t know what is going on with me…” You gasp, hiding your face in a mixture of shame and search for comfort. “I just… I just want to be close to you at all times, I just never want to be alone and I just… Everything is too much and not enough, everything is going wrong. I…”

“My love,” they whisper, holding you slightly tighter with one arm. With their free hand, they prop up your chin, a gentle and warm smile taking over their lips once your eyes meet. “You don’t have to suffer alone, ok? I am here for you, no matter what, when, or where. I will always be by your side.”

“Good and bad?” You sniffle and they chuckle softly, brushing a strand of hair away from your eyes as they lean down so their forehead is touching yours. They nod.

“Good and bad, my angel…” They whisper, their eyes closing as your noses brush together. You lean closer, your lips brushing against theirs so lightly that it nearly feels like a paint-filled brush against a canvas, working its way through a halfway-painted masterpiece.

Hanji gently presses your body against the car door, their grip on your waist is tight as they make sure to keep you safely in place. Your lips are half-open, temptingly wet in the dim light of the street pole, your face is stained with silent tears and the only thought going through their head? “I really need to kiss her.”

And so they do. They lean forward ever so slightly until there is no more room between the two of you. When your lips collide, you can’t help the quiet gasp that exists in your body, your hand gently resting on their cheek while your thumb brushes against the softness of their skin. 

You get lost in the warmth of their body, in how comforting it feels to have them pressed against you like this. Your nose brushes against theirs as your head tilts slightly to the side, the faint smell of coffee and menthol cigarettes still lingering on their breath as it mixes with the scent of the gum you had in your mouth earlier.

They nibble on your tongue gently, sometimes brushing the tip of their own against it and it’s enough to cause you to nearly melt in their arms. If it wasn’t for their strong arms holding you in place, you would have fallen to the ground into a puddle underneath their feet.

Neither of you wants to pull away, but the need to breathe is becoming stronger by the second. When you separate, your forehead rests against theirs, and your eyes remain closed as you enjoy the smell of their skin. Even if it isn’t a pleasant smell, it brings you too much comfort in this moment for you to care.

“I’ll call Moblit and he can come to help, ok?” They whisper, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You nod, lacing your fingers with the ones on their left hand while they pull their phone out of their pocket with the other. "I'll send him to the store and I will stay with you. You won't be alone, I promise."

As they speak to the man on the other end of the line, you can’t help but allow a small smile to form on your lips as you think about how lucky you are to have someone like them in your life. Someone willing to stop everything at the drop of a hat to come to rescue you when you need them most. 

As they blow you a kiss, you find yourself thinking about that one specific sentence once more, realizing that no truer words had ever been spoken:

“Hanji is here to fix all your problems.”

[scorpioriesling]

What Happens on NYE…

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Rhysand, Cassian, Azriel, Lucien, Eris, Tamlin x Reader

Warning(s): none

Summary: Each of the ACOTAR males paired with reader of you were to attend a NYE celebration with any of them. <3

SR’s Note: So… HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!! I’ve been so busy getting ✨married✨ (yes, quite literally. Lol.) & then getting back into the swing of things — not to mention, becoming really sick as 2024 wraps up. (‘: Not to worry! I have the best friends, family, and hubby that have been taking the most care of me. I know I’ve been lacking, especially with the Invisible String series — so allow me to feed y’all tonight, at least a little bit!

Tags: @mellowmusings @rcarbo1 @lilah-asteria @kitsunetori @velarisdusk (inbox me or comment if you'd like to be added!)

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Rhysand

“Sweetheart, what’s got you so… preoccupied?”

You sigh, turning your attention away from the drink you’d been studying to meet your husband’s gaze.

“I just… I’m just so… I don’t know, dear. Preoccupied, like you said.” You chew on your lip, the cranberry juice in your glass doing little to calm your nerves. Around you, Rhysand’s closest friends and family flit about, singing and dancing and drunkenly laughing with one another. Usually, you’d be right there with them — it’s felt like ages since you’d had a stiff drink last.

“Darling,” he coos, his hand sliding against yours as he takes your glass from you. “Whatever is there to worry for?”

Just then, a large crash sounds from the room adjacent — and your husband pulls you close to his chest out of instinct. When you lock eyes again, he chuckles.

“Why don’t we—“ he sets your glass down on the kitchen table. “… go somewhere more, private, hm?” You nod, a small smile forming on your lips as his hand wraps protectively around yours waist. He runs his fingers up and down your spine, his next words holding a smile of their own.

“Ahh, now there’s that beautiful smile I love so much.”

He walks with you to the terrace, quietly opening the doors and stepping outside with you. The cool breeze of the night feels wonderful against your skin, which only grew warmer by the minute.

“A new dress tonight, hm?”

You grab the loose fabric of the skirts, swishing it back and forth. He leans against the railing as the light of the moon reflects off of his silky black hair.

“Yes — do you like it?” He nods, scanning you up and down.

“I love it, dear. I must say, I’ve never seen you in a style like this.” He takes your hand, pulling you close to him once more. The light of the ever rising moon makes the band on his ring finger gleam.

“Well… it is New Year’s eve, after all.” You fake a confident smile. It was true — you usually went for more form-fitting gowns, or ones that at least showed off your assets… but this occasion was, well… different.

“It’s nearly midnight, you know.” Rhys points out, his gaze fixing on the moon above. You nod quietly, preparing for the clock to strike twelve.

“Anything you want to leave behind this year? To not bring into the new year with you?” He asks. You chew your lip again, not sure how to answer. You’d prepared and practiced for weeks, yet now it felt as though no amount of preparation could have helped you for this moment.

Rhys shrugs after a moment. “I, for one, would like to leave any bad vibes behind now,” he pauses, listening and chuckling as Cassian belts out a line from the newest Taylor Swift song inside. You can’t help but laugh too as he says, “… and, maybe Cassians singing.”

The lighthearted moment eases you for only a second, a mere glimpse of time before you must work to steady your mind again. You realize, going into the new year, with the husband you have — this is exactly, the right moment, and nothing would make it more perfect.

“I, have something I’d like to bring with us into the new year, rather.” You say, and Rhys looks out as fireworks burst among the stars, cheering through all of Velaris heard from where the two of you stood. As you gazed upon the side of your gorgeous husbands face, you took a deep breath and just said it.

“Rhys, I’m pregnant.”

He slowly turns to you, his joyous expression morphing into surprise as he gazes into your tear-filled eyes.

“W-what?” You don’t think you’d ever heard the High Lord of the Night Court stutter. “Did you say-“

“I’m pregnant,” you say again, more confidently. His eyes grow larger, his hands taking yours as his lips curl into a wide grin.

“You’re… oh Gods, we’re…” he laughs breathily, almost in disbelief.

“We’re having a baby, Rhys!” You beam, and he instantly swoops you into his arms, spinning you around in the light of the firework streaked sky.

“We’re having a baby!” He shouts joyously, gently setting you down to take your face in his hands and pull you into a deep kiss. When he releases you, he stares down at you in pure joy, his hands cupping your cheeks.

“My darling, you’re going to make such a wonderful mother.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Cassian

You bend in half, laughing so hard your stomach begins to tighten. Eyes squeezed shut, you try to regain your composure — but what your boyfriend said was just so. Damn. Funny.

“Cass… you’re truly a comedian,” Mor giggles from beside you, her hand resting on your shoulder. When you open your eyes again, the first thing you see is your handsome man’s face alight with a smile.

“So I’ve been told,” he chuckles, taking yet another sip of his beer. His gaze settles on you as he slides a hand around your shoulders, pulling you close and kissing you on the head. “That’s how I got this one, yeah?”

Mor laughs again, and you blush as you lean into his strong frame. Strong, but a little wobbly under the influence of all the alcohol he’d consumed tonight.

“Whatever you have to tell yourself,” Mor hiccups. “…to convince yourself worthy of such a gorgeous girl.” She winks, and you reach a swaying arm for her.

“Awwwh, Mor,” you say, as she stumbles a bit before standing upright. “You’re such a good friend!” There was a million better things you could’ve said, but in your intoxicated state, that’s all you could come up with.

“Oh my gosh!” The blonde squeals. “It’s starting!”

Everyone’s attention turns to the widescreen, the DJ cutting the music as the number 10 flashes on the screen.

“Alllllright, Rita’s!” He announces over the mic. “Let’s count down into this new year together tonight, shall we?”

The crowd cheers, beginning the descent from 10 as the numbers flash on the screen. Cassian pulls you closer, and you all but crane your neck to look up at him.

“Six, five, four…”

Cassians hand slides against your jaw, the other holding you to him by the small of your back.

“Three, two…”

“Gods, you are the most beautiful-“

“One, Happy New Year!”

You don’t even let the crowd get to one, or allow your boyfriend to finish that sweet sentiment before you press up into your tip-toes and smush your lips onto his. His grip tightens, almost lifting you off the floor as his mouth drunkenly devours yours. When you finally do pull away, he smiles softly at you as though it were just the two of you in the middle of the dance floor.

“I… truly am,” he whispers. “So, so lucky.”

Then, his mouth is on yours once more.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Azriel

“Dare!”

Feyre takes another long swig from her glass, giggling as she sets it down in front of her.

“I dare you, Nesta,” she giggles. “To take off your bra, right now!” She cackles, as the group expresses their disbelief.

Through the protests and shocked expressions, Feyre groans over-exaggeratedly.

“Oh come on,” she whines. Nesta reaches behind her back, working to unhook the clasps.

“Yeah — it’s nothing you’ve never seen before.” She triumphantly yanks her bra free, removing it and tossing it into Cassians lap without so much as untying her gown. Cassian scoffs, feigning annoyance.

“What am I gonna do with this?” He picks it up, beginning to inspect it. Nesta chuckles, sitting up on her knees as she scans the group.

“Hehehe… my turn.” Her steely gray eyes land on you. “Hm. Y/N,” she says, and you feel your heart jump. You never liked truth or dare much anyway, especially not when your crush was involved.

“Truth? Or dare?” She raises an eyebrow.

You gulp. “Umm. Truth, please.”

She grins wickedly, subtly looking between you and Azriel as she pretends to contemplate a question for you.

“Truth, then. Hmm… alright, I’ve got one.” She leans back on her hands, watching as you fidget with yours.

“If you had to pick anyone in this group to kiss tonight, who would you pick?”

Your face heats, and you glare at her. Practically everyone knew of your interest in Azriel, everyone but himself — admitting that now would only be embarrassing.

“Oh… Gods Nesta, uhh…” The tequila from earlier swirls in your stomach, and for once, Azriel looks as though he’s interested in the game again and not the countdown celebration happening beyond the palace walls.

Your eyes meet hers, and she gives you an encouraging look.

“Go on then… name them.”

You swallow, glancing toward Azriel. Grave mistake, he was already looking at you.

Your cheeks deepen their shade of crimson.

“M-maybe… uh, Azriel.”

Nesta shakes her head slowly, that wicked grin only growing. Soft chanting from outside can be heard, the citizens of Velaris participating in the end of year countdown. They’re already at eight when members of the Inner Circle notice how near it is to midnight.

“Guys — it’s almost midnight!” Cassian says giddily, but Nesta keeps her gaze trained on you.

“Prove it.” She says lowly, and you sigh, taking your abandoned glass and throwing back the rest of what was in it.

In an instant, you’re standing, stumbling toward Azriel — your friend, your trainer. Your true love. If only he saw it that way.

“Five, four,” the friend group has engaged in the chanting as well.

Those deep hazel eyes meet yours, his rough hands reaching to help steady you as your friends brush past you for a look out the windows. He cracks a smile, his gently hands bracing against your forearms. You are close, so close — foreheads practically touching as he leans down to peer directly into your eyes.

Behind him, Nesta rises slowly, seeming rather pleased with herself.

“So,” his voice is low and gravelly. “Are you going to prove it?”

You don’t think twice before pressing your lips against his, every point of contact between the two of you sending a million fireworks through you. His lips move, eager for more — you’re happy to oblige.

Behind you, cheering and clapping and the distant sound of fireworks is all drowned out by the sensations taking over you — Azriel’s lips, his hands holding you to his chest… Gods, he smells so good—

He pulls back, breathing heavily as he grins down at you. You chuckle, unsure if the fluttering within is the bubbles from your earlier champagne or perhaps, butterflies.

“I don’t think,” he whispers. Your eyes widen.

“I don’t think you… proved it, enough. Yet.”

You grin, wrapping your arms around his neck before kissing him again, his hands sliding around your waist. Just before you loose yourself in the moment, you squint to meet Nesta’s pleased gaze.

“You’re welcome,” she mouths silently.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Lucien

The cold winter air bit into your exposed arms, but you didn’t care. The night had been so cold, you were suprised to find your tears hadn’t frozen right on your face — perhaps, the constant flow kept them streaming down your cheeks instead.

You’d heard rumors of Lucien, your absolute best friend being mated to none other than Elain. Sure, she was beautiful, and kind, and quite perfect really — which was exactly the problem. Everything so right about her, only made you that much more insecure.

If you were honest, you understood why the Mother would choose her for him. Your best friend was perfectly imperfect— he was a beautiful male, that you’d known for years, but he was also selfless, kind, and one of the best people you knew. That’s what made him so special; he truly was, the greatest friend you’d ever made.

Perhaps, that’s why the rumors broke your heart so much. No, he hadn’t mentioned it to you — had he known? Surely he couldn’t have known of your feelings, you’d kept them so buried inside… how deeply you’d cared for him. Loved, him.

“Why?” You whispered, glaring at the night sky above. “Why couldn’t you just let him be with me?” Your voice broke, and you whimpered once more. Tonight was pure Hell — watching him, watching her. You couldn’t blame him, she was gorgeous… and for all your friend had gone through, you only wished for him to be truly happy.

You rested your head on your hands, leaning against the marble ledge of the balcony and crying so hard you didn’t hear the terrace door slide open.

“Y/N?”

Your sniffling seized, and you looked up to meet the horrified gaze of your best friend.

You wiped a hand across your face, looking down to not meet his eye.

“Lucien, please-“ you coughed. “Please, enjoy the party. It’s nearly midnight-“

He was to you in three long strides, sitting beside you on the marble bench and resting a gently hand on your shoulder.

“I don’t care what ever else is going on — what’s wrong, Y/N?” His voice carried so much concern, a wave of fresh tears stung your eyes.

“It’s nothing,” you lied. He rolled his eyes, gripping your shoulders and pulling you into his lap. You rested your head against his shoulder, your wet tears dripping onto his collar.

“It’s surely not nothing,” he argued, his hand running soothingly over your back. You swallowed, regaining some control before sniffing and peering up into his face.

“It’s…” you tried, your lower lip wobbling. His hand rested against your cheek, a small encouraging smile on his lips.

“You can always tell me anything,” he encourages. You sigh, looking right up into his beautiful face.

“I… I heard, about Elain. And I’m so sorry, Lucien, I shouldn’t be doing this and behaving this way, because I want you to be happy and-“

“Wait wait. Y/N what are you even saying?” He chuckles, his thumb brushing away a fallen tear. Your eyes well up with more as you feel like this may be the last moment you’ll ever have like this, with the man you love most.

“You’re… I heard, about the bond. You, and Elain.” You sniff.

He tosses his head back, his bright laughter splitting the air between you. You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, watching as he refocuses on you.

“Y/N, come now,” he starts, his hands wrapping around your waist. “If Elain and I were truly mates, don’t you think I’d tell you about it?”

You shrug, glancing down at the stone. “I… I don’t know, I-“

He tuts, tilting your chin to look at him again. Inside, the partygoers begin counting — nearing midnight.

“Oh, Y/N… you really don’t see it, do you?” He shakes his head, gazing down at you. Your bottom lip wobbles as you look to him again.

“I just… I only want you to be happy, Lucien.” He smiles warmly, leaning in as the first firework bursts across the night sky.

“You’re what makes me happy, Y/N.”

He kisses you with so much love and adoration, you hadn’t ever imagined possible. Your fingers thread through his hair as you kiss him back with as much love as you can convey.

All he says when he pulls away is, “I love you, so much, Y/N.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Eris

You sigh as you bring the mug to your lips once more, hoping the caffeinated tea can keep you awake for a little while longer.

“I don’t like this one much,” Eris comments, watching as the girl onstage sings about getting pregnant. You chuckle lazily, setting the mug down and leaning against his shoulder.

“Not a Sabrina fan?” You add playfully, and he moves his arm so you can lay more comfortably against his chest.

“I suppose not,” he says, his arms resting as he lays beneath you on the couch. He yawns, the first telltale sign of his tiredness — you had to admit, it’d been a long day. Between planting new seeds in the orchard (an annual tradition), taking the kids to visit the in-laws and wrangling them into their rooms at the end of the day… yeah. You could say you were quite exhausted.

Eris’ fingers ran along your bare arms nonchalantly as he gazed at the screen, watching Dick Clark chat with Sabrina Carpenter after her NYE performance. Her dress glittered against the city lights, reminding you of the times you and Eris shared celebrating nights like these in the past.

Sighing, you tilted your head to peer up at your mate. The angle of his jaw, so strong — it complimented the angular panes of his face, so strikingly handsome in any light. He must have noticed your stare, as his fingers stilled and he looked down at you with a tired smile.

“What is it, dear?” You sighed, toying with the small bow at the top of your pajama camisole.

After a quiet beat, you replied. “I just… I’m sorry, you know.” His brow raised, his chin tilting so he could look at you more directly. “We don’t… celebrate. Like we used to.”

He chuckles, the movement shifting you as you pressed against his chest.

“Well, my dear… we do have children, you know.” You half-smiled.

“Yes, I am aware — I’m just missing the days we went out, I guess. Me in a glittering gown, just for you, and all that.” You chewed the inside of your cheek. Your husband’s hand began lightly brushing your arm once more, his expression sympathetic.

“I understand, but, there’s nothing to apologize for my love.” You looked up at him, and he gave you a small smile. “I’m grateful we had those times, yes — but I’m even more grateful now. Nights like these are wonderful; they’re everything I want and need. I’m grateful for our children, tiresome as they may be.” You share a giggle, and his hands move to thread through your hair. “But, this, right here, laying on this couch with you on New Year’s eve… I couldn’t possibly want anything else.”

You close your eyes, snuggling closer to him as he continued playing with your hair. You began to drift off, resting peacefully knowing you were going into the new year with the one person who loved you most.

Eris only moved to reach for the remote, turning down the volume as the crowd on the screen began chanting. You stirred, but he could tell you were fast asleep — gazing down at your beautiful face, his heart swelled.

He leaned down as the crowd roared, pressing a small kiss to your temple.

“Happy New Year, my love.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

Tamlin

“So, are you gonna go talk to him, or what?”

You’d been eyeing the blonde all night, trying (and failing) to keep your staring to a minimum. Naturally, your friend caught on — likely when she noticed the sudden changes in demeanor as he entered the room you were in.

“W-who?” You feigned innocence. She rolled her eyes, jerking her chin to the brooding blonde by the mini bar.

“You know who,” she chuckled. “Mystery man?”

Now it was time for you to roll your eyes. “That’s what we’re calling him?”

She smirks. “Well, you haven’t gone and asked his name yet, so yeah. That’s all I’ve got for now.”

You sigh, sipping on the last few ounces of your drink.

“Come on,” she eggs on. “Go over and at least say hi?” She nudges your shoulder. You tip back your glass, swallowing the rest of what was in it. Only when you step forward does she applaud you.

“Shh!” You glare over your shoulder, but your friend only watches with amusement as you nervously make your way toward the bar.

Once you’re within arms reach, you take a deep breath, your gaze meeting the emerald green one you’d been eyeing all evening.

“Uh… h-hi.” You stammer. He raises an eyebrow, looking you up and down before opening his mouth.

“Hi.”

Your lips press into a flat line.

“Uh… what’s your name?” You ask. The butterflies in your stomach threaten to come up your throat, and you swallow hard.

“…Tamlin.”

Your eyebrows raise.

“Like, from the Spring Court?” You squeak. He huffs a laugh.

“Like, yeah.”

Your brows furrow, cheeks heating at his lack of communication skills. You fidget with your fingers, not entirely sure what to say next.

“Is there something I can-“

“Why are you here?” You cut him off. Now he raises his eyebrows, and your mouth opens and closes like a fish.

“No, no uh I didn’t mean it like that, I just mean, uhm. Why come to a, uh, party in Autumn if you’re from Spring?” You stutter.

He tips back his glass, setting it on the counter before him before turning to fully face you.

“Friend brought me.” He glances to the room next to you, where Lucien is talking to a group and laughing.

You shrug. “Me too.”

He looks at you near expressionless, leaving you so defeated that you turn to walk away. His hand catches your wrist, and your breath hitches as you whirl around to face him again.

He stares silently for a moment, before pulling you closer to him.

“You’re not here with a… a male?” He asks. You shake your head slowly, and he smirks.

“A shame. For everyone else, but hopefully not me.” Your cheeks darken as you watch his eyes rove over your face, down your neck, over the edge of your top…

“I didn’t come with one,” you choke out. “But, I’m not opposed to leaving with one.” You can’t believe you just said that out loud. He apparently finds it amusing, chuckling as he glances to the clock.

“You’re not above kissing a stranger you just met at a party where you know no one?” He asks, his palms resting on your hips as you stand between his parted knees. You hadn’t noticed how close the clock hand had gotten toward 12, quite literally so distracted by the man in front of you now.

“Are you?” You retort. He smiles, his right hand resting against your jaw.

“Absolutely not.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･

[thekingnerd]

As an endo (I feel the need to preface with this so as to not be misleading) I agree with EVERY point you made here, which is... Very odd to have happen when I'm reblogging an anti.

I agree with your stance on the antis, and how while there are some toxic communities and people, that isn't all of them. Similarly, I don't view all endos as good people, some of us are assholes, but I see so many anti posts about all endos being ableist, how they used to be pro but then a few endos were being dicks and trying to convince them they were endo, as well as other things, then they hate all endos. I agree with you completely here: Neither side is a monolith. We all have good people, we all have bad ones. Hell, I have a few antis I actively enjoy talking to because they, while not believing that I can exist, are able to put that aside for the purposes of a proper debate without insults!

The concept of endos being suspicious: I agree, it did seem a bit odd at first for me, but when my brethren (headmates) showed up (before I did) the Guy Who Was There First was just like "Huh, that's odd. Am I crazy? Probably, but that's fine." (For context, we have aphantasia, so we are all (to whoever is fronting) disembodied voices.) We didn't even know that systems were a thing until our friend revealed his systemness to us, but since we were different, us being system didn't even click until a year later. As for a lack of trauma, or other symptoms: Some endos dissociate from other, unrelated disorders, some have trauma that doesn't fit with diagnostic criteria or happened after systemhood, but in general, we don't know why we formed. With willogenics and such, my best guess as to how could be they can just believe they have a friend in their head for long enough it stays? Maybe imaginary friend type thing, but more permanent?

We don't pretend that natural multiple shit never happened, most of us just have never heard of it before. This is the first I heard of it.

I'm also not asking any antis to take a chance on us existing, I just want the death threats and such to stop.

As for barging into spaces: I do not condone any endos posting endo stuff in the did/osdd/cdd/other disordered tags, unless it's something that they found that directly pertains to those disorders (other post elsewhere that has tips on dealing with dissociation, for example.) From an endo point of view, at least from what I've seen, we left the overall, medical system spaces and formed our own spaces, using the plural tags. Now, we don't keep traumagenics out, not at all. We are all inclusive. We just want to keep hatred out of our spaces, because there are plenty of antis coming into the endo safe plural tags, and calling us ableist, then having DNI in the tags, as if they expect us to not respond to them yelling at us in our tags. I am fine with DNIs, but like... If you don't want gay people to interact with you, then don't go to the gay bar.

I get not wanting to have your safe space spoiled by hate and those who invalidate you. I just wish that both sides could see that, agree to disagree, and temporarily have a truce while we work on making plurality in general (both disordered and not) accepted by society. Then we can get back to throwing hate at each other if we truly wish.

Tl;Dr, I agree fully with every point you made here, and they also, for the most part, actually apply to endos as well. We need to just have a truce, normalize systems so we can go by our own names in public, not body names, and then if we truly wish go back to fighting.

Keep seeing posts of pro-endos who used to be anti-endo talking about "Ugh, anti-endo spaces are so toxic" which is not necessarily bad, there are bad anti-endo spaces out there and people are allowed to vent about how those spaces hurt them

I do have a problem when they use that as an excuse to call us all toxic and cruel. I've seen many saying things like "Anti endos are so horrible, I'm so glad I'm not one of those monsters anymore"

You need to understand we aren't the monsters you make us out to be. We're traumatized people, trying our hardest to survive with something debilitating, who can't help but see endos as mocking, whether they truly are or not. We can't help but see endos as invading our spaces.

We didn't get to have safe spaces most of the time. We didn't get to be around people who cared about us and understood us. Even those of us that did have a safe space had it poisoned by trauma elsewhere. We spent our childhoods afraid, isolated, and so agonizingly alone, feeling like we were better off dead, that we were freaks, that we were the only ones in the world going through this. This community we made for ourselves was one we had to fight through years of hell to get.

So when random people come over trying to insist that they're "just like us" and demanding to be let in, despite having only one or two things in common that we couldn't even trust they truly had, of course we'll be fucking defensive. In our eyes, you're trying to take the safe spaces we fought tooth and nail for away from us, whether you truly are or not. In our eyes you're people who know nothing about us or what we went through, and continue to go through, trying to barge into our havens and bloat it with bullshit, whether that's what you're trying to do or not.

We've been hurt so many times, by so many people, for so long. Why the fuck would we take a chance on people that are so suspect? You claim to have alters just like us, yet without any of the other symptoms of our disorders. You claim to be systems, yet without being caused by the immense trauma we had to suffer through. Hell, some of you claim that you made your alters for fun, just because you can.

Of course we're wary and defensive. We don't want to even risk losing the spaces we worked so damn hard to get.

If you've had a bad experience with anti-endo spaces, and are pro-endo now because of it, that's fine by me and I understand completely. But that doesn't make us all villians. That doesn't make us all evil monsters.

And besides, many of us have been hurt by pro-endo/mixed origin spaces too. We've seen people have horrible experiences with them. (Let's not forget endos started as natural multiples, who were notoriously shitty, cruel, and discriminatory toward any and all traumagens, and that a lot of that same rhetoric is still rampant in the community, AND that the community at large has basically just decided to pretend that never happened.

-Kaz

[thezombieprostitute]

Warnings: Angst, Unrequited love. Please let me know if I missed any!

The 40's New Years Eve party had been your idea. You'd seen it advertised around campus and thought it might be your chance to finally get a dance with Steve. Maybe more. But there he was, dancing with everyone except you.

The two of you were graduate students sharing an office. You couldn't believe such a handsome man would be so interested in history. You figured he should be modeling or something. But the conversations you had together, discussions of teaching methods, comparing notes for classes, they all showed you he was more than just good looking. He was incredibly intelligent and kind. He was everything you've ever wanted.

Unfortunately, when you did ask him out, he told you "no". That he thought of you more as a little sister than anything. That he wasn't looking for a relationship, anyways. He just wanted to focus on his degree. You respected his wishes and kept up the friendly banter. Even when you didn't feel it.

Maybe he knew you were hoping for a dance and that's why he was avoiding you. He probably saw through your asking him to the dance as an attempt to spark an interest that he just didn't have. So he kept himself busy dancing with everyone except you in order to prevent you from asking him to dance. It's the only thing that makes sense.

You finally get yourself to look away from the scene. Maybe Steve's got the right priorities. You should be focusing on your coursework and your teaching right now. A relationship with your office-mate would definitely be a complication you just don't have the time or energy for.

The rest of the winter break is spent getting yourself in the right headspace. You let yourself grieve for what could have been. Then you renew your will to get your degree and teach the best classes for the undergrads.

If Steve notices any changes in your interactions, he doesn't comment on them. You're certain he's relieved he doesn't have to worry about your unwanted affections anymore. But that's only because he's careful to never show you the regret he feels.

Tagging: @alicedopey; @darsynia; @delicatebarness; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @irishhappiness; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63

[aventurineswife]

Clingy vidyadhara reader x sunday like that one picture of the snake wrapped around the bird that went viral a while back lol

“Let it be for now”

Summary: In a moment of quiet solace aboard the Astral Express, Sunday and you, a newly-reborn Vidyadhara, find comfort in each other's presence. Still adjusting to your second life after a harrowing transformation, you lean into Sunday, seeking warmth and connection. As you sit together in silence, Sunday reflects on the fragility of the dream he is striving to create, while you share a quiet understanding of the need for mutual support. In the intimacy of your shared space, both of you find peace, if only for a fleeting moment.

Tags: Sunday x Vidyadhara!Reader, Emotional Comfort, Fragile Relationships, Rebirth, Intimacy, Soft Moments, Vulnerability, Connection.

Warnings: Light emotional themes, Subtle tension in personal boundaries.

A/N: I don't think I've seen it... 😭

The gentle hum of the Astral Express echoed through the hallways, the rhythm of its motion almost soothing in its predictability. Yet, in the quietest corners of the train, a different kind of stillness lingered. Sunday, the ever-dignified former leader of the Oak Family, sat on a plush seat by the window, his eyes staring out into the endless expanse of stars, a far-off look on his face. His wings were tucked neatly behind him, but there was a subtle tension in their soft, silver feathers that suggested they were not at ease.

You, a newly-reborn Vidyadhara—still adjusting to your second life after a harrowing hatching—sat beside him, watching his every move with a quiet intensity. Your newly emerged form, still tender and unsure, craved the warmth of connection. The world seemed vast and overwhelming after the transformation, your past lives slipping away like fading echoes, leaving you disoriented and fragile. But Sunday’s presence, though often aloof, was a constant comfort. There was something about the way he always seemed to be there when you needed him, as if he understood the loneliness that came with being reborn.

And so, here you were, curled up beside him, your sharp, pointed ears flicking every now and then in the silence. There was no need for words; you simply leaned into his side, seeking solace in the warmth of his presence.

Sunday blinked, his gaze softening as he glanced down at you, his ethereal halo flickering slightly in the dim light. A small, imperceptible sigh escaped his lips.

"Are you... comfortable?" he asked, his voice gentle, as if not wanting to disturb the fragile peace.

You nodded, a slight smile tugging at your lips. You were small in this form, vulnerable, and in need of comfort, a stark contrast to the powerful, graceful being you once were. But in Sunday’s presence, you felt safe, as though he was a protector of sorts—a keeper of dreams, as much as you were.

You shifted closer to him, your tail curling slightly around his waist as you sought a more secure position. Sunday’s wings twitched in response, and though he rarely showed it, you could tell that he was struggling with the pull of your proximity. His natural inclination to distance himself clashed with the undeniable softness of your touch.

Without warning, you pressed your head against his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his skin through the fabric of his clothes. His breath hitched ever so slightly, but he did not pull away. Instead, his arm instinctively wrapped around you, holding you close as if the very act of doing so brought him peace.

"You know," Sunday began, his voice low and contemplative, "the dream is fragile, isn’t it? The world we hope to create… sometimes it feels like I’m holding onto something that could slip away at any moment." His fingers gently brushed through your hair, his touch careful and deliberate. "But with you here… it feels like maybe, just maybe, there's something worth fighting for."

You nuzzled closer to him, your own thoughts spiraling in a similar direction. You too struggled with the weight of your rebirth, the dissonance between your past lives and this new existence. But in his arms, those fears seemed to dissipate, leaving only the warmth of the present moment.

"I think… I think we both need this," you murmured, your voice barely a whisper, the soft vibration of your words blending with the hum of the ship. "We need each other to keep the dream alive. Even if it's just for a little while."

Sunday's expression softened, and for once, the calm facade he wore seemed to break just a little. He leaned his head against yours, closing his eyes as the quiet intimacy wrapped around you both like a cocoon. His wings fluttered ever so slightly, brushing against your cheek as if to acknowledge the shared connection.

"Then let it be," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "Let it be for now."

In the silence that followed, you both found comfort in each other’s presence, a fragile peace settled between your hearts. The stars outside continued to dance, and within the safe confines of the Astral Express, the two of you held onto that fleeting moment—a moment of warmth, of connection, of hope.

And perhaps, just perhaps, that was enough.

[astrxsee]

I absolutely loved "price bringing the boys to his country home for the holidays," RAHHHHH, thank you for sharing your visions 😁 also re: your tags, I Will be getting you started on how soap talks SO FREAKING DIRTY About Price's pride and joy - - lord -- anyway, love for the New Year!

<3 -@horny-for-tf141

ilysm this is my first ask ever eeeeee

also this is part 2 to this

no bc simon wont shut up about you. johnny would hear about every interaction between the two of you that day. the scot eating up every sweet word that falls out of the larger man’s mouth.

“i could just smell her ‘air, took everythin’ in me not to grab her right there.”

soap would nod like an eager puppy, probably holding back something borderline feral.

“yeah, l.t., those eyes, they just do something for ya. don’t they?”

he’d say to ghost, pushing him to say more. he’d try and miserably fail to hide the growing tent in his pants as his superior kept talking. soap couldn’t help but to notice the tension in simon’s body and the way his hands would ball into fists as he kept talking.

“now what was she thinking putting on that slutty little dress on new year’s eve. god i wanted to rip that little number in half. our little birdie should know that she’s all mine.”

simon would say, his eyes peering over to johnny.

“aye, l.t., poor lass doesn’t know what’s good for her is all. show her what she needs. cap’ can’t keep her here forever.” the scot speaks up, the light from the warm fire your father made earlier flickering over his face.

-

AND OMG don’t even get me started on how they’d treat you in person like…

just imagine it’s christmas eve and your father is throwing a party for his team and a couple of his friends. simon can’t keep his eyes off you the entire night, and you know it.

you’d eventually drag him out to the porch for a smoke, him grumbling in opposition while you sweetly bat your eyelashes at him. of course he followed you like a dog, he’d follow you anywhere.

imagine cuddling into his side complaining that it’s ‘too cold’ and him putting his arm over your shoulders and pulling you in.

“why can’t you stop looking at me, simon?” you asked innocently, your eyes looking up at him. you knew the exact answer but this was just too fun.

he lets out a long groan, his hand running over his masked face.

“don’t do this to me, princess.” he practically begs you. his eyes filled with a feeling you can’t quite place.

then imagine you starting to tease him more as you trace cute patterns into the fabric of his stupid christmas sweater. his breathing becoming labored as he leans his head back, his eyes shutting. my man is fighting for his life

“please, lovie, you don’t know what you do to me.” he grits his teeth as his hands travel down to your hips. his large hand taking up so much space, squeezing onto you like you’d disappear.

“i’m sorry, si. i just can’t help it when you’re exactly what i want.”

you think it’s the doe eyes and the small kiss you pressed to his neck that gets you into the next situation.

in a split second, he had you pressed up against the siding of your father’s his captain’s house. his large arms caging you in between him and the wall. you could hear low growls coming from his throat. one of his large hands comes to rest on your hip as he buries his nose in your neck.

“you haven’t left my mind since i got here, dove. you’ve grown up so much since the last time i saw you, i just can’t help myself.”

he inhales sharply, breathing in your scent. he trails feather light kisses along your jawbone, almost like you’d break at any sort of pressure.

“you’ve been mine and you’ve always known it. just had to let you figure it out for yourself, princess.”

now don’t imagine johnny watching from inside, chubbing up at the sight of his lieutenant devouring price’s lovely, innocent little daughter. maybe ghost would let him watch when he takes her virginity

[teyrnacousland]

#Man yeah#I think at some point post game Rook starts calling him cousin too like probably after getting to know him a little better#like as a result of Lucanis Rook ends up spending a bunch of time around Illario and he just kinda grows on them#how couldn't he he has so much in common with Lucanis and cares about him too#and i think it takes Illario a little while to trust that Rook is actually being genuine with him#but once he's there he's like yeah okay im doing it im making a second friend#and like the Dellamortes are never having a quiet family holiday again the whole team is probably showing griffon and manfred and all#Even if he doesn't necessarily get adopted by Lucanis's weird friends I think he really starts to actually see the change in his cousin#and starts feeling like maybe he can too#i also keep laughing at the image of him and hezenkoss's skull scoffing about the power of friendship getting the better of them both#this is also a bit my headcanon that the Soporati of Ventus are culturally the kind of people for whom cousin and family is a loser thing yk#older woman you have known your whole life is an auntie whether you're related or not#People your age and your families are maybe close? Cousin.#So for Rook it's like yeah i spend a lot of time with the guy and he's important to me now so Illario = cousin#and they're just extremely chill about this#Where I suspect cousin is a bit more of a loaded appellation for the Dellamortes

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The whole thing with Lucanis being plucked up into a found family and becoming a happier healthier person for it are great but it makes me almost bitterly jealous on behalf of Illario. I think that guy would really flourish by having a group of friends (and maybe a lover). Imagine it. Imagine a version of Illario where he was appreciated and valued and given the attention and love he needed and deserved. I have no real coherent or interesting thoughts to add here all I have is this overwhelming need to give Illario friends.