#maybe this shouldnt have bothered me as much as it did but it was SO unbelievably jarring since they're otherwise very smart and educated!

[cinderflower]

Last night someone very close to me made a remark of "I don't know how you write from scratch, I love using chatgpt, it makes it so easy and I don't have to think".

It seems innocent enough as a statement, but especially in the light of everything currently happening in the world, it's a reflection of the current mindset of the average person. They meant it as a half-compliment and expected me to respond by agreeing with them by saying writing is hard. And to an extent, yes, it absolutely is. It's something that's deeply time consuming and takes a lot of effort if you want to get very good at it and hone it as a craft.

But at the same time, it's not hard at all. Just writing for the sake of writing, for the pure intent and joy of creating something, only requires that you have an idea and put forth the time and effort to create something out of it. Writing can be a book, a fanfic, a blog post, a journal entry, or hell even a background story for a DND character - it's all writing and it's all valid, no matter what your skill level is because it's something you are making.

"Why put forth all that effort when you can just ask [insert AI tool here] to do it?"

The act of writing and creating should never be viewed as something unfathomable and unattainable without the assistance of AI. It is something that each and every person is capable of. It is something that humans have been doing for thousands of years. To create is to be human - do not let them convince you that you are incapable of it. Or worse, that it is not worth your time.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but just because something is convenient doesn't mean it should be used. There's a reason why it's being pushed so aggressively by the same large tech corporations and billionaires that are directly funding fascist agendas. There's a reason they're actively trying to dismantle the public education system.

Anti-intellectualism is the goal.

It's a well-documented and researched phenomenon that the less educated a population is, the better it is for capitalists and fascists. An educated population is more likely to organize and engage in critical thinking and criticism because they are able to analyze and understand the underlying sources of the systemic flaws that are the heart of the problem. An uneducated population will allow themselves to be divided and will happily be exploited. They will actively advocate against their own best interests.

There's a reason they are pushing AI so strongly in creative fields and are trying to automate away those jobs specifically. Because not only is creativity skilled labor, it is not guaranteed to be profitable. To them, you are more valuable as cheap, uneducated, unskilled workers that can be more easily alienated from your labor.

It goes hand in hand with the rise of "gig economy" jobs (uber, door dash, etc) and the systemic dismantlement of labor protections. Not only do they want you to be uneducated, they want you to be isolated, poor, and overworked. They want as many hours of your labor as they can possible squeeze from you for the lowest cost and highest profits. They want you to be exhausted in your free time and to fill the void in your heart with rampant consumerism to keep you docile and put more money in their pockets. It's in part why things like phones, tvs, and other formerly luxury goods focused on mindless entertainment have become so cheap.

Time spent on creativity that doesn't drive profit is considered wasteful, but it is also considered dangerous. It encourages critical thinking, community, and it opens the door for people to engage with "radical" ideas that through AI tools they can censor and ensure don't surface. It is why any pro-censorship arguments are inherently pro-fascist. Make no mistake - they are doing everything in their power to make it as desirable as possible to not pursue creative endeavors or engage with anything outside of the carefully cultivated messages in the entertainment they provide.

Instead of turning to chatgpt or whatever other AI tool is out there the next time you want to create something - don't. Challenge yourself to create it on your own. It doesn't matter how "bad" or "sloppy" it is because that's the beauty of it. No one starts out as a master of their craft, their writing becomes better over time because they practice. They write and write and write even if they never publish it. They learn and grow with every piece they create. That is something worth celebrating, now more than ever.

Do not be docile and blindly accept the tools they hand you.

Do not welcome the boot they intend to use to crush you.

Do not advocate for your own demise.

[serejae]

WE CANT BE FRIENDS | 17. YOU CLING TO YOUR PAPERS AND PENS, WAIT UNTIL YOU LIKE ME AGAIN

(written)

prev | next

paring : myung jae x fem!reader | wc: 700 ish | warnings : none (this chapter is bootycheeks next one is better trust!!!) | genre : fluff and angst @onedoornet

mstl

taglist @lilriswife4life @cherrytaesan @tubatu-lovie @woonsbot @guiltysungho @taylorluvation @kage-yaa @lionhanie @dearly-somber @nicholasluvbot @nujeskz @unhakki @lblossom21 @crispy-kirby @seunghancore @nctrawberries @i03jae @icewons @miidorei @hanbinniesmango @helpsplease @dongminz

its been 55 minutes since jaehyun was supposed to be here. orginally your solo shot was suppose to be shot today, but woonhak texted the group chats changing the plans. sure jaehyun couldve not seen the text but you doubted it, maybe he was embarrassed but you had a sense of deja vu.

you heard woonhak sigh making you look up. “we can just film your solo shot today” you nod and follow him as he walks out his door. as you follow him to the park he starts recording you.

“we have L/N Y/N here and in this segment you’ll be asked questions that you WILL answer without jaehyun around” he started “will?” you laughed at his phrasing “long story…anyways!”

“what are your opinions on myung jaehyun?”

you keep walking looking at the ground and something just blew up in you. “he hasnt changed like at all. cause for the viewers, jaehyun and i were suppose to be filming together again but he didn’t show up and this is what he always did! especially for dates, i’ll wait for hours alone just for him to be in his studio so i’m really not suprised that he isnt here. i swear his office saw him more than i did in our almosy 2 years of dating. its irresponsible no? just to ditch everything for your career and don’t get me wrong im all in for it but its just…” you paused, why were you so bothered? “next question please woonhak.”

“i thought you both ended on good terms?”

“pfft thats what you both tell everyone when you first end things but deep down there…well like you said before lingering feelings that you just cant express because it already ended and now since everyone thinks you both ended things well you start overthinking, ‘hm i shouldnt feel this way we ended things well’ , ‘theres no point on being stuck on him now because we’re friends’ but you both know damn well you ended things ‘on good terms’ because you both swept the conversation you needed to have about the breakup under the carpet due to the fact you and them are pussies who cant handle confrontation.”

“so what if the mess under the rug is too much to the point you cant sweep anymore?”

“um, well…

either you both stand on the elevated rug thats floating at this point ontop of both your guys mess and never talk to each other again because if you do, inevitably the conversation you tried to avoid will be brought up.

or you…

fix it?”

“do you think ending things on good terms is better than ending it on bad terms?”

“no. if you end on bad terms you have nothing to talk about, because youre too focused on hating each other, but good terms each time youre around that person your mind cant help but go ‘what if?’ and soon they start to fill up your mind the same way they did when you were crushing on them then the cycle repeats of you falling in love again but then again you cant do anything because you already broke up and once they move on you have a resentment or a heartbreak feeling towards them.

the same way it does when you both end on bad terms.”

“do you…” woonhak paused and noticed your neck area. “ive always seen the chain around your neck but i never seen the charm on the necklace before” he said examining the necklack, the charm was a heart pendant with mj+(l/n initial + f/n initial) on it with the date you both started dating under. shit, you forgot the tuck it into your shirt.

quickly you tuck it into your shirt and clear your throat

“do you ever have any ‘what if’s with jaehyun, and…theres no need to lie now” woonhak laughed

you smiled and bit and continued “uhm, i wonder where him and i would be if he didnt end things. like would we be together still? if yes is the love still pure, or what we would be together right now but if we still ended things i wonder if it wouldve been on bad terms.”

“do you think of him often?”

“yeah.” no. what?

yeah?

as in yes?

you turn to look at woonhak and he looks at you with wide eyes.

“oh look a music store!! woonhak i completely forgot i told a friend id meet them there, we can end this now!” you rushed out

“NO YN! I CAN COME INSIDE AND FILM-“

“BYE!”

you run inside of the music store and pant hiding behind a shelf. when you look up and see a pair of familiar eyes. you groan silently and rested your head against the shelf, its like he’s been spawning everywhere lately and its not for the better. you look up again and see he’s staring at your neck, looking down you realize the necklace that you tucked away somehow escaped and is now staring at jaehyun. you look back up with your cheeks hot and realized hes gone

[p5-apotelesma]

ITS THINKING ABOUT GOROS CHILDHOOD HOURS. i am unwell once more

you know what it kills me to think about? that things could have went to shit despite how things were looking up

its tragic but its so fucking real and its gut wrenching.

for years theyd been struggling to get by and. finally. fumiko has a stable job (on the outside) and for the first time theyre able to have a slightly bigger apartment. not by much, really. (and kogoro would still sleep with his mom in her bed a lot of the time cause its just what hes used to, having lived in a 1 bedroom apartment until then) they still dont have an easy life by any means but they were on an upswing.

they were at, what seemed like. the most stable point in their time as a family. on the outside. his mothers new boyfriend doesnt come over to make her cry and scare them both to death. she even let kogoro accept some toys from him when she never used to allow that. so that means she trusts him, right? that he isnt so terrible like all the others were.

her doing sex work for him while being his secretary is what gets them the better apartment. and what gets kogoro some featherman merch. hes her boss but of course kogoro doesnt understand that his mother isnt on equal footing here. and that things arent seriously that much better. that shes just found herself stuck in the spiderweb of another wealthy man.

and kogoro allowed himself to feel hope. just a little. because from where he was standing things had changed so much. they were maybe even almost Normal.

and then she fucking left him

i'd imagine her mental illness was so debilitating that it made working even harder for her, let alone taking care of her kid. but things were looking up. her lows were still terrible lows but. kogoro was there for her. when she let him be. the structure of set work hours helped their lives find more of a routine. and none of his mothers clients hadnt stepped into their apartment for some time. (kogoro thought she was finally free)

at times she'd been sad for a while. couldnt get out of bed. but when the time came to celebrate kogoro's 9th birthday, she rose in the morning to make him omurice and they danced in the kitchen to the radio. she took him to the park and the arcade and he was able to win a prize and she even bought a little cake they could have have after dinner. they spent the whole day together just like she promised she would this year. and she seemed better and goro was so so relieved and so happy. it was the best day ever.

(she was coming to peace with what she was going to do. kogoro made a wish on his candles for them to have more days like this. fumiko wished that her son would forgive her.)

the day after his birthday he was excited to have more of the leftover cake after dinner.... shed have to go back to work tonight but maybe she could watch one episode with him. or help him do some of his homework. (or at least pretend to help. and praise him when he was able to figure it out for her)

he came home from school to a quiet apartment. looked around and saw her shoes still by the door. the light was on in the bathroom. he thought she was. just taking a bath

he knocked and there wasnt an answer. he didnt really think anything of it. maybe she was busy. maybe it was one of those times where kogoro shouldnt bother her. so. he quietly did his homework.... she'd come out of the bath and say goodbye to him before she went to work. but she didnt come out

i dont even think the poor kid could comprehend what he was seeing. when he opened the door and saw her. just. the sheer horror of it stopped his brain from working. the water was so red and she was so pale and she wasnt moving--- in the moment he could understand that she was hurt. but not what had happened

how could he? and he didnt think to call 119 first. no, the first thing he thought was to run to his neighbors. even though his mother sometimes got angry when he would talk to strangers. one of his neighbors answered their door and kogoro explained what. he could understand of whats goin on. what he saw. he doesnt understand that shes dead

when he gets to the police station and a detective and an officer and a child psychologist are trying to talk to him. about what happened. he just. asks when he can see his mother.

he knows she was hurt and something really terrible and scary happened. but. he doesnt understand that he wont be seeing her again. it. takes a while. for that to happen.

she left him a note, you know. and he read it but in the moment he was too overwhelmed to understand. and then he fucking blocked that shit out for years. the memory of it comes back when hes with the gang dealing with Ren's Den of Distortion of all things

the memory hits him like a train and once again kogoro is brought back to the nights where all he could think was that his mother hated being alive more than she loved him.

"i'm sorry, kogoro. mama can't do this anymore. i love you. you are so strong."

the love being there wasnt enough but it was there. and thats the tragedy of it.

and the fact she took her own life after they celebrated kogoro's birthday? its one of the things that seemed to convince him that his existence was a curse. and his mother couldnt bear the burden of it anymore. why should he ever celebrate being born? (he takes his birthday week off in royal. and its because of Her. hes officially lived as many years on this earth without her as he lived with her. half his life.)

all that on top of everything else and its wonder kogoro has such. instability around his security in his relationships. because everything seemed like it could actually be okay. she seemed happy and he was happy and he dared to feel hope again. that she would get better. he would help her. and theyd both be safe from the monsters.

and then it all came crashing down. he lost everything in an instant.

[layanomaly]

Okay- so I feel like im a bit calm (definitely real) after yesterdays finale to properly make a statement about it

And I really want to put a few of these points out there while the tags are still trending and while I still have time cuz now that AAA I finally over I really need to focus on my studies which is gonna be hard…..but yeah it is what it is

And honestly 

Look idc what anyone says anymore

Yes there were some loose ends and a whole lot of questions

And I get that a lot of people were upset…..believe me I was too and still am

But I wanna be a voice of positivity

cuz I feel like whatever plot wholes they left 

Like jac said were there for US to interpret

Or as my delusional ass is telling me maybe theyre setting up for another season???

And yes for those of you whore saying that we shouldn’t be the ones to figure theyre story out YOURE RIGHT, I AGREE WE SHOULDNT

But at the end of the day it still was a marvel show

And Whatever it was 

It was an amazing experience

Yes we had our highs and lows 

And Looking back on Agatha’s story, yes I do feel a mix of admiration and frustration. There was so much potential in exploring her relationship with Rio and the complex layers of her own journey, which felt overshadowed in the end. At times, the focus on Agatha's role as a mother felt like it could have been handled differently and Instead of fully delving into Agatha’s growth, her story was ultimately used to elevate Billy’s arc, leaving her character, her grief, and her love for Rio without the closure they deserved.

That being said 

Again while it's fair to wish for a bit more closure for characters like Agatha, Rio, Jen, and Alice,

I truly do think jac schaeffer is a genius

like for a really long time i used to think that we were reading too deep into scenes and that they arent actually that deep and we’re just being delusional

But watching, reading interviews of her 

Finding out that as a matter of fact it actually IS that deep

And that everything means something and nothing is unintensional

just hearing her talk about the characters she writes is such a fulfilling feeling you have no idea

its the way she understands those characters and portrays their trauma….She really cares for themm 

she does her research and makes sure she understand her characters and the lore

unlike *cough michael waldron cough* 

Who couldnt even be bothered enough to watch a show which was an indefinitely important arc for one of the characters he was assigned to write for a movie 

Its just-

Look all im tryna say is

Shes a master in her craft and no one does it like her 

despite everything she provided us with two of MARVELs best shows up to date and no one can tell me other wise

Cuz While the narrative pivot left parts of Agatha’s story untold, Schaeffer's dedication to character depth shows her commitment to storytelling which you can really see in the way she talks about those characters

again while I wasnt satisfied with the finale its her dedication to understanding these characters, down to the smallest detail means so much to me. 

Cuz it’s not just about the story—she collaborates with her actors to bring out the arcs they envision which makes it even more special

And It’s truly disappointing that Marvel didn’t fully capitalize on the opportunity to explore Agatha’s own arc in its entirety, especially with such a capable writer at the helm. 

Still, I’m hopeful that future stories will revisit and give the characters like Agatha and Rio the focus they deserve

And i reallyyy hope they sign jac up as a writer for future projects

Cuz ultimately, I think her approach to these characters makes her one of the standout storytellers in Marvel right now, and I’m excited to see what she does next with all the new responses from the fandom 

I hope you guys get what im trying to say

Anyways to conclude my thoughts

Whatever it was

I truly did love this show

And ill really miss coming back home on Thursdays to watch the new episodes drop

[bridgyrose]

Rosebird Week: First and Last kiss

A blush crossed Summer’s cheeks as she held Raven's arm while they walked through the quiet Vale streets. The sun had already set, so most everyone had made their way to their homes for the night. Which made the walk she was on all that more special since it was just her and Raven. No one to bother them, just the crisp night air and the stars above. 

“So, where are we going?” she finally asked. 

“Its a secret,” Raven answered with a smile. “You’ll have to wait and see.” 

“Its always a secret with you.” 

“I want you to be surprised. That way its more enjoyable.” 

Summer rolled her eyes. “Every night with you is enjoyable. So you dont have to worry.” 

“Yes, but Tai said-” 

“You’re really going to listen to him?” 

“Why shouldnt I?” 

“Have you seen the way he talks to the other girls? It wouldnt surprise me if he never gets a date.” 

Raven shrugged a bit. “Well, maybe he had a good idea.”

Summer looked up at Raven curiously. “What do you mean by that?” 

“You’ll see when we get there.” 

Summer sighed and stayed close to Raven as they walked, not sure how much she believed that Tai could come up with any good dating ideas. And yet, curiosity was starting to get the best of her the longer they walked. They certainly werent going towards the docks, nor did it seem like they were heading anywhere that was familiar to her. 

It didnt take long for them to reach the edge of the city and to the clearing just past the walls. Summer slowed her step until she came to a stop, staring up at the stars. They were brighter now that they were outside city limits.

Raven let out a heavy sigh. “We must be a bit early.” 

“Early?” Summer asked. “Early for what?” 

“Tai told me that this clearing is home to fireflies and that it’d be a romantic place for the two of us.” 

“I’ve already told you that I like it when its just the two of us already.” Summer looked away as her blush started to brighten, her heart fluttering as a few thoughts crossed her mind. “And well, the stars are still bright and it would be a great place for us to… you know… have our…first… kiss.” 

“I thought you werent ready.” 

“I think I am now.” 

Raven smiled. “Then I’ll follow your lead.” 

Summer nodded and smiled up at Raven, hesitating as she took a slow step closer. The world almost seemed to stop as she stared into those bright, red eyes. She stood up on her tiptoes as she leaned in, lingering when she felt Raven’s nervous breath against her lips. Finally, she finally pressed into a kiss, a small moan leaving her lips as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. 

As far as she was concerned, this was the perfect moment she was waiting for. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summer took a few pained breaths as she stared up at the night sky, a weak smile crossing her lips as she watched the stars. Her hand tried to grip Raven’s, voice hoarse as she spoke. “They’re… they’re just as beautiful as before.” 

“And you’ll get to see them again,” Raven said as she took hold of Summer’s hand. “Tai is getting help and Qrow is going to be here any minute. A-and then we can see the stars again tomorrow together. And the night after that.” 

“You dont need to lie to me, I know I’m not going to make it through the night.” Summer let out a heavy sigh and looked up at Raven. “So we should enjoy this moment-” 

“I cant,” Raven interrupted. “I dont want a life without you.” 

“I’ll always be with you, Rae. You know that.” 

Summer closed her eyes and slowly loosened her grip on Raven’s hand. Nothing had gone to plan, and here she lay, dying in front of her wife. Salem caught them off guard, Tyrian managed to strike her heart, and all she could do was wait for the inevitable. 

After a few quiet moments, she spoke once more. “Can… can I have one last kiss?” 

“Sum, w-we… we cant give up. Help is almost here, I can see the medical airship on the horizon.” 

“Please Raven. I-I dont want to go without feeling your lips once more.” 

“Summer…” 

Summer opened her eyes and smiled up at Raven, a few tears of her own starting to well up in her eyes. She used the last of her strength to try to sit up and kiss her wife, lingering just before her lips touched Ravens. 

As she broke the kiss, she felt herself drift away, the sound of Raven’s crying becoming distant.

[did-sm1-say-catfish]

s2 ep5??

FUTURE EP??? OMG!! ---

IS THAT A BUTCH LESBIAN??? no its js valerie 

its so sweet shes still close with her dad ---

AND THE FENTON HOUSE IS STILL THERE YEYYAYY ---

who tf is that

thats not danny what

nonnonononon ---

messing with the past??? hrm ---

danny going evil cuz of the test is so real ---

danny, getting ghost breath: GET OUT OF MY ROOOOMM!!! jazz: danny, we’re in the kitchen jazz, seeing the ghost: BUT IF YA WANNA BE ANNOYING IM GONNA LEAVE!!!  danny: jeez wtf

thats what you call complicated by avril lavigne ---

Ghost: I AM BOXED LUNCH!! DAUGHTER OF THE BOX GHOST AND THE LUNCH LADY danny: uhmmm. ew ---

burger guy: guys noooo dont run away from the danger in our storeeee we swore an oath to protect the nasty sauceeeee workers: for minimum wage?? hell nah brother ---

sam and tucker: who was that u were fighting? danny: boxed lunch, daughter of the box ghost and the lunch lady sam and tucker: yikes danny: i was thinking ‘ew’  ---

wait clockwork’s design is eerily similar to one of the ancient all powerful ghosts from the ghost king tale ---

jazz, to her friends: guys i cant decide bewteen harvard yale and stanford helppppppppp *her friends walk away* jazz: what could i have possibly done wrong??

babe wake up new reaction pic just dropped!! ---

danny, about to cheat: im just gonna take a peeeekkk tucker, to sam: shouldnt we stop him? sam: we’re his friends, not his mom. still wish he wouldnt but  danny, getting ghost breath before he can look: aww shit here we go again tucker and sam: WHEWWWW oh shit no we meant OH NOOOO A GHOST ---

skulker and technus combined: HAHA WE’RE GONNA KILL U TEE HEE tucker: is this ew or yikes?? ---

lancer, to jazz: ur brother stole my test answers!!!  jazz: how would he do taht???!!! lancer: well idk but if he suddenly gained the abilities to go invisible and go thru walls it would prove my theory jazz: uhmmmm ---

dannys powers short circuit and he falls down: AHHHHHHHHH danny, grabbing hold onto a flag pole: oh wow this actually works i thought for sure it would *breaks* AHHHBREAKKKKSKJNJDHNBFHJ ---

tucker, short circuiting technus-skulker: tee hee

them grabbing onto a flagpole: ohh yayyyy the flagpole thing actually- *breaks* AHHHHHHHHHH ---

NOOO THEYRE GOING TO THE FUTRUE

see you in the future yeahh e yeah e yeahhhhh ---

clockwork: see, for me, time moves forwards, and back and- why am i bothering? yall are fourteen ---

tuck throws the medallions onto them??? boy has serious aimmmm ---

THEYRE DEAD IN THE FUTURE???? DANNYS PURE GHOST???  ---

he put the time medallion in danny????? ---

“strange how highly combustable condiments can ruin your future”

yeah evil danny, i agree ---

evil danny in the past???snbjdfiojhfbknd

evil danny: NOW WHOS UP FOR uhhh what did we use to do together?? UHM! VIDEO GAMES AND RAGING AGAINST THE MACHINE??? ---

awwws shes (jazz) finally telling him she knows!! except its evil danny. you ruined it evil danny i wanted my sibling moment!!!!! ARGHH ---

the future ghosts are literally just plaing monkey in the middle with regular danny  ---

dANNYY DID THE SCREECH

danny: my voice is changing?? great im going thru evil puberty ---

OMG EVIL DANNNY IS A COMBO OF HIM AND VLAD?? ---

HES BALDING. HASJDHBGHJHBGHSJKJNM ---

CLOCKWORK MY BUDDDYYyy ---

AWHBEJBHGVSHVSGHJN JAZZ AN DDANNY TALKN ABOUT AHBWJNHDBHJHVFSJ I LOVE THEM SMMMN SIBLING BONDING ADORBS JKABHGHDJFHGHIOSKJBH ---

evil danny stil exists!!!! OMHGGG ---

well. that was a rollercoaster. i now know where all this evil danny hype comes from and yk. i dont really like him all that much. but, hell, maybe i'll change my mind.

[kienansidhe]

the thing is for a long long time i did subscribe to the idea that transfems have it the worst of all of us and that transmascs do have systemic power over transfems, and im still not sure i dont believe it? however.

the transandrophobia/transmisandry/whatever you wanna call it blogs that i follow specifically clarify over and over and over that they are not trying to say transmisogyny doesnt exist, or to make it a contest of whos most oppressed, or to say trans women have systemic power over trans men, or anything of the sort, they have made that disclaimer so many times and yet over the years i have seen that making that disclaimer does not help.

if transmascs speak up abt transphobia, we are bombarded with harassment and willful misinterpretation of our words. no matter how many disclaimers, no matter how much we keep the conversation to our own posts, no matter how many steps we take to avoid taking space away from transfems, we still get these accusations of transmisogyny, just for talking about our own lived experiences.

we shouldnt have to grovel and beg other queer people to allow us to talk about the oppression we experience. we shouldnt have to couch it in 500 disclaimers, and even when we do people try to silence us.

im absolutely not blaming this on transfems, btw. many of the most supportive ppl on this site who boost transmasc voices are transfems who are incredibly kind and wonderful and smart people. the transfems who are radfemmy and separatist are not any more representative of transfems in general than the transmascs who are radfemmy and separatist are representative of transmascs in general. i suspect most of the problem are cis ppl. i know many are fellow transmascs who either pass and dont experience the problems most of us face, or else have been taught that in order to be good allies to transfems they have to disavow their siblings who are still fighting to be heard, like its a zero sum game and they have to pick sides.

maybe transfems do have it unequivocally worse, full stop. im not rlly that smart or good at interpreting data and different people tell me different things and if i think too much abt it i start spiraling. but i dont like that so many people on this site take transmascs talking abt our struggles as an inherent attack on transfems. thats that part i rlly dont understand. thats why i keep asking why we cant just get along. why cant these discussions happen in parallel?

if someone tells me transfems have it worse, sure, that doesnt bother me to accept and be aware of and take into consideration in how i live my life. but when people tell me transfems have it worse, therefore transmascs should shut up? thats incomprehensible to me. thats just transphobia.

[kindred-spirit-93]

vent ahead

drinking lukewarm chamomile tea. forgor we ran out of sugar so i used honey (that tastes wonderful). bad idea. added monkfruit sugar thing and its okayer now. tastes like diluted petal juice w traces of honey but its whatever. did eat some spinach pastry tho so we good.

tis 5am i am wide awake and writing a vent post lol. not feeling fanastic and the timing couldnt be any less incovenient i dont fancy being ill rn but i think my ignoring my health has finally turned around to smack me in the face. either that or im over reacting to something very short term.

tempted to stay in denial but im the one losing here. dont want to take action thats scary. it shouldnt be scary and itll only bring more suffering i know but id rather not. i will but i wont

i know ive been ignoring my gut issues for years. idk why my first instinct to anything is either deny or downplay. who hurt me so bad i have trust issues with my own body?

have been considering a certain diagnosis for almost exactly a year now. the prospect of hving a chronic illnesses scares me more than it should i think. idk if the fear is related to my being a med student, being silly over something not that big of a deal, a secret third thing, or all of the above.

i love blood tests i dont mind them. i dont however like any other (invasive) test and would again rather punt myself into the sun before accepting the inevitable. the irony hurts more than my stomach aches lmao. im aware. maybe too much so.

starting to think i may have anxiety (lol). is it warranted? am i valid in my fears? my brain says yes my mind says no. the dissonance will give me a headache, the last thing i need right now.

forgot where i was going with this post. my tea is cold now as are my hands. dehydrated af and have a long day (week, month, year..) a head of me. this isnt the time for being any kind of ill

i dont like being a hypocrite. preaching about taking care of oneself and seek out medical assistance/ a consultation or confirmation etc instead of wasting away worrying & not doing anything about it, only to turn around & contradict my own beliefs. i hate it. i hate me too.

dont know if ill post or delete this. its a bit too much for my liking.

so many feelings. so much not knowing. when i go to therapy (soon) what terrifies me is that ill have built so much on my own assessment and predicitions i might get told i was completely wrong and totally fine just being dramatic or excessive. what then? when my walls have not only been taken down but the bricks are being thrown at me too

stress stress stress. we learn over and over again how damaging stress is to the body and yet we all know nothing is going to happen to ease it. that its only going to get worse from here in fact. its funny in the way that hurts. in the ways that hurt.

my brain feels heavy and light at the same time. a fog refuses to settle. if i could wrap myself in blankets and stay under the covers forever with my plushies till i become a fossil i wouldnt mind. i dont know whats bothering me. what my brain is filing and sorting through behind the curtains of consciousness. but its bothering me

going to get up and pray in a minute. some peace of mind will dull the pain of existence for a little while. a solitude within a solitude. im the only one awake. biding my time till the eternal solitude.

might make another cup of tea. no honey this time.

[ritz-writes]

@asleepyy so sorry for tagging u twice in one day and i hope im not bothering u with my brain rot 😅

but yes, i did actually dissect the lyrics. yes, i am actually insane. and yes, i love this au quite a lot.

here are my notes and what i think each song represents, tho its mainly just the vibes i get. i made notes as i listened to them (note: i see songs almost always in animatic form. idk if that will effect how i imagine what each song means, but i thought it might be worth mentioning)

join me as i lose my mind over the course of an hour and a half

say what you think: def making me think of them both in heaven and jophiel wanting to ask questions.

running up that hill: AHH this one hurt. very obvious as well. jophiel seeing that azazel shouldnt be a demon. "And if I only could I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get Him to swap our places." i am sobbingggg

what difference does it make?: at first i was going to say its jophiel wanting to figure out what went wrong but azazel makes them promise not to, but i think its better suited for azazel understanding hes a demon, but he cant help but still have faith in the almighty

please please please let me get what i want: fuckkk is this about azazel being a demon but still wanting to do good 😭 short but still painful

ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn't've): my first reaction to the title alone was like the second image of the kambucha girl meme. anyway i think this one is about them becoming friends (or more?? 👀) but knowing its seen as wrong. "And if I start a commotion, I run the risk of losing you and that's worse" makes me also think of jophiel talking to the metatron and realizing he shouldnt ask about azazel lest he risk the poor thing being smited.

nothing critical: ohhhh this one gives hella vibes of jophiel not trusting heaven and knowing "something isnt right here" in regards to the fall-- HOLD UP "I know, someone had to go, If not him it'd be me instead" HELLO??? aziraphale asking for jophiel??? is this like after he finds out what azazels name used to be??

flowers never bend with the rainfall: hmm... i feel like this is a plot point song. not sure why. but "And I hide behind the shield of my illusion" makes me think it pertains to azazel

bird in space: oh this ones a bit tricky. i think ive reached the songs that no longer fit the lore we've been given thus far. so the only thing i can think rn is jophiel enjoying earthly pleasures? not rlly sure

angel, won't you call me?: oh fuckkk is this about a fight they have? "I fled at the face of my rival. When I felt his breath at the back of my neck. Angel, won't you call?" theres no way that isnt about azazel saying smth and then leaving, only to be scared he severed his tie to the only person thats been nice to him.

the stranger: first of this is a bop and im loving it. very groovy. the first thing that comes to mind is the "choose your faces wisely" prophecy. ooo is this about jophiel trying to convince azazel hes still meant to be an angel? that he wasnt meant to fall? also, the last verse is sticking out to me... not sure why

all i think about now: fuckkkkk this is giving me the vibes of jophiel finding out azazel Fell cuz of him and feeling guilty about it. "If I'm late, can I thank you now?" FUCKING OW?? oh yeah for sure this is about jophiel finding out and being sucker punched with guilt

ill be your mirror: oh goddd this song. i know crowley listens to this song but i cant remember what its about so lets see. AH SHIT YEAH THATS RIGHT. okay so jophiel reminds azazel that he is inherently good, regardless of if hes a demon. thats what im getting from this (also just tihnking of that ask i sent about the reflective sunglasses bthwjegkrw)

me and my husband: okay all im getting from this is "they r down bad". they r very very very much in love. getting vibes of this being after they stop the apocolypse. or maybe their feelings developing thru the centuries

time in a bottle: oh man this song always gets me. okay so, this and the last song r giving the oh-shit-i-might-be-in-love vibes. but this one is with jophiel's pov, while me and my husband is azazel's

ritz note: the last couple songs have been cute and lovey and i am now terrified of what the next ones r gonna be. cuz i know this fandom. and i am not ready for the pain. i am afraidddd

lonesome town: i fucking called it i knew the happy wouldnt last 😭😭 they had a fight didnt they. yeahhh they had a fight. FUCK why is this so sad but so pretty

across the universe: is this one sad too??? hang on theres a bit thats not in english, what does that mean... "Hail to the Heavenly Teacher." okay so i assume this is an azazel song. this is just making me think of the bookshop fire, but its azazel thinking jophiel died 😭 ....i am staring at the lyircs. i am glaring at the lyrics. this song MEANS something. i just dont know what. but its important. im squinting at it very hard (note: i came back to this song and am STILL glaring at it. its like. its like im seeing it covered in sand but i know theres gold underneath. i cant SEE the gold, but i know its there. this is driving me nuts /pos)

no wonder i: hm.. im not rlly sure with this one. OH?? is this azazel finding out heaven isnt that good?? "Suddenly I'm not so sure. That intentions can be pure." hmmmmmmm

what do they know?: holy shit okay this is a completely different kind of song than the others. im.... glaring at these lyrics too. feels like a plot point but cant tell what it is. i think its about jophiel? maybe heaven too?? idk im grasping at straws with this one

sea of love: oh yay a happy song again 😌 okay this is just short and sweet. gives me forgiveness and/or confession vibes.

who are you, really?: this one sounds important and i am glaring!! makes me think of "we dont need heaven we dont need hell" and also "a demon/angel that goes along with hell/heaven as far as he can". also just makes me think of jophiel speaking.

the moon will sing: i fucking love this song but i dont think ive ever looked at the lyrics so lets goooo. right away i see "I could have been anyone, anyone else. Before you made the choice for me" and think of aziraphale asking and falling for jophiel, and in a way making the choice of jophiel staying an angel. "Instead, I made a bed with apathy" jophiel trying not to care about a random demon. "I shine only with the light you gave me" jophiel giving azazel ideas on how to do "good" while being "bad". also with that line, thinking of azazel saying that to god and being sad about having fallen AUGHH i have a whole animatic in my head with this song and im losing my mind

matephor: hnnnn another important sounding song. jophiel vibes. fight song perhaps?? "Don't look too hard 'cause you won't like the scars he left in me" azazel vibes??? this one is elusive to me but i love it. okay im slowly getting more azazel vibes. like azazel trying to convince jophiel that he is a demon and fell for a reason

providence: right away getting "heaven and hell r bad" vibes. OHH okay okay this is giving me hella jophiel vibes, but specificly snarky and sassy jophiel vibes. of being like "oh yes heaven is oh so great, we kill children! but its for the greater good, of course. gotta beat hell and all that, even at the cost of innocents. all for the almighty and her ineffable plan." (this song is a bop omg)

earth angel: oh i know this one but only with crowley and aziraphale, so im excited to listen to it with an oopsie omens mind set. omg wait why does it hit HARDER. love sick azazel is such a cute image 🥺🥰

what more can i do: hmm.. them being in love but knowing its "forbidden"? cant tell who i imagine with it more

starman: this is just them. classic good omens song, regardless of the au. love to see it 💖

a pearl: AH FUCK ANOTHER SAD ONE. mitski whyy. hm.. azazel song? jophiel?? i think jophiel... tho my mind might be turning to mush at this point so im not sure. one of them is sad

duvet: oh def azazel vibes. oh maybe some jophiel vibes too?? i can see it swaping povs. i think it fits azazel more tho.

ritz note: OKAY the next song is in a different language and for a split second i legit thought i was having a stroke when i pulled up the lyrics ngl bgkewrrkjq

différent de toi: no idea what this song is about but its pretty 😊

oh thats all of them! i think the first half is more coherent observations, while the second half is just... rambling a bit lmao. idk if any of this makes sense. i might also be looking for things that arent there with these songs, but oh well. this was fun!

and now, after looking back at them all, i really does just slowly derail near the end lmao

[scph1001]

end of the year yes sir yes sir.

as always id say the rows are more exact than the actual rankings but some of the edge ones are iffy.

sadly i did not finish metaphor in time- ill likely finish it within the next week though. if i had finished metaphor in time (and if the ending doesnt suck shit out of nowhere) it would have been third. i respect it alot more than P3R- and though i have a list of complaints i thought metaphor was a wonderful game

playing killer7 was crazy!!!! i knew i had to play after seeing the cloudman cutscene and it really did deliver. it made me feel like i was playing MGS2 for the first time again and i think thats the highest praise i could give a game. in another world where MGS2 wasnt the first game to really get me into the medium- killer7 would have been my favorite game. absolutely timeless. incredible combat and i admire the way it jumps topic to topic and doesnt really offer true finality to a couple of its points.

chulip now thats an all timer 👆 very adorable video game i like that its mean to the player but also has a kind heart. for whatever reason my joykill spirit doesnt activate for chulip- and there probably is a bit to say on how it treats women- but its not the worst ever and the game is not too pushy about bothering her. very very good ending sequence. great gameplay loop

honestly i dont even think i like P3R much. it was just the first game me and alot of the people i know were excited about in a long time and i have really fun memories playing it and getting it on release. honestly i thought about it while writing this and ended up just making a backloggd review lol

not much to say about katamari. its one of those games for me. yeah i enjoyed it but i have so little to say so maybe i shouldnt rank it so high but i fuck with its vision alot.

SMT1 is not fun to play but i really do admire its existence and atmosphere. incredibly cool

i still have complex feelings about SMTVV since its everything i wanted but its also lame as shit. tao and yoko remind me of ariana and cynthia during the wicked press tour lowkey. also i think SMTVV got worse after metaphor came out and ATLUS started showing off some actually good dungeons

earthbound was alright honestly i dont feel strongly about it and if it didnt have its presentation and unique manner of speaking to the viewer it would be a 3/5

jack bros was actually good im not exaggerating

baroque was cool but also im not very into it- its a 4/5 out of respect for it

shadow of memories was crazy everyone go play shadow of memories

i honestly fucked with P1 alot in terms of style/vibes but theres not much more to say about it and the story and characters arent special

gitaroo man was hard as shit but the music was fun

the parappa 2 music was fun but gitaroo man had more swag

i do not care about hypnospace sorry everyone.

im not the biggest fan of P2IS and P2EP just felt like a worse version of P2IS so i was never gonna be really into it. i do admire its vision and i think its pulling off what FFVIIR is trying to do better- but still not good

i respect the answer- but i just do not like P3 combat. a game of just P3 combat is going to fall flat for me. and honestly for a game about death (P3)- maybe there shouldnt be an answer.

dragon warrior was cute but i cant really give it high praise. for its time- great revolutionary. now? its alright.

i hated LIVE A LIVE that shit sucked

[manyblinkinglights]

anytaur quarstion

Sorry im doing this thru a submission instead of an ask bc i want bigger text limit and also to insert images... clarity and allat. i hope thats ok...

Recently i got an actuual headset for vrc so that i could Physically Become the Beast of my Dreams. your rig is everything to me and makes me so so happy. ive wanted this forever. i cant thank you enough for this. main thing im having to fiddle with now in specific is forefoot pickup! didn't make much sense to bother with it back when i was desktop only but having tried it now with actual real hands, the whimsy is impeccable. hands still feel a bit weird though, and im almost certain i messed with something i shouldnt have in trying to set it up, so I thought it might make sense to ask you abt it considering you designed the system and probably have more insight! I'd try for figuring it out myself thru trial and error, but i am very new to vr and having to go in and out to tweak and rebuild avatar versions seems disastrously tiring. and i dont think i'd have much luck trying to fiddle with unity through a vr virtual desktop @~@ time is money....i miss unemployment...so I hoped this could expedite some of that trial+error+rebuilding time. maybe. god. longass preamble over.

point being: in the recent (~6mo ago...) setup videos you did, i feel like the "A" pose you got for your sample models is generally more "A" shaped than what my beast has procured. This may be on account of my beast being quite lanky and having long as hell forearms and quite short shoulders and upper arms. in addition, by default, just moving them down on the global y axis like on the script instructions, the SenseHand receivers end up in a weird position compared to the paws, atleast based on what i think i am picking up from the script instructions. image below.

please ignore the shit ass weight painting/distortion for the paw im new to doing 3d models, im honestly just impressed this thing exists at all.

anyways in the image (front isometric) the right paw (viewer's right not model's right) is set to the values you recommend in your setup video, and the other one is unchanged from default rotation just as a baseline i guess.

Anyways my real question boils down to: what might you recommend to focus on in tweaking forefoot pickup? would rotating thigh and/or shin pickups to better match an "A" pose make sense? Should I move the SenseHands on X axis to be more better "Held" like it says in the instructions? is it ok if the sensehands fall into the floor from "A" pose?

regardless, thank you for your time, dedication, and willingness to share both. this project has been living rent free in my brain ever since i first saw the vrc horse speedrun on youtube (exactly what i had been looking for after god knows how long looking around) and desperately checked your youtube page to see what else you'd been up to. i think that was around or just before when the LittleKitty port video was recent or new, so it's stuck with me for atleast 2 years and i hope to still interface with this rig for many more years to come! please dont feel pressured to a response either lol, i understand if you dont really have a good suggestion or answer. im sorry if i overwhelm you with wall of text. here is an image of the beast in action to hopefully warm the spirits MUCH LOVE!

[roseworth]

Tried to follow only to discover I already am. Good job, past me. Thoughts on the changes made to Rose’s character with each reboot?

YES i have so many thoughts

first of all. the new 52 was the worst thing to ever happen to rose and im not exaggerating even a little. she started out as a superboy side character (???) as an assassin that was hired to kill him if he didnt do what they wanted ? then she became a ravager and hunted people down

but the WORST part of the new52 is that they either didnt know or didnt care about lillian worth and they just. made rose one of slade and adeline's kids. and had him raise her.

also she was the oldest child of her and joey, which is nowhere near the same level of awful as the whitewashing but still makes me uncomfortable

yeah so. new 52 was fucking terrible. that is not rose even a little i do not know this woman

but REBIRTH fixed so much <3 christopher priest my bff <3 i am once again recommending deathstroke 2016 bc it has so many good moments and i think its worth reading

the first time rose showed up lillian worth was mentioned!!!!! she was there!!!!! <33333 the timeline was changed a little but i can forgive that bc!!! LILI!!!!!

the problem is that the book made her hmong instead of cambodian and i dont really know why??? but also ive said it before but,,, as much as it makes me upset bc asian identities shouldnt just be interchangeable,,,, this was the first time it was even mentioned that she was half asian since the 90s!!!! and she had a whole arc about her hmong heritage and her family!!!!!!

AND she didnt kill anyone in that book iirc :') the closest she got to killing someone was when she was in the middle of a breakdown then shado killing him for her instead which!!!! i love so so much bc rose does not kill a lot despite what some writers want you to believe. pre52 she has like maybe 3 murders that i would consider in character so the fact that she doesnt kill anyone in ds2016 is so fucking real

anyways ill also count infinite frontier as a reboot bc i love to talk about my opinions

there werent a lot of clear changes in infinite frontier BUT. technically her cutting her eye out is canon rn. in deathstroke inc theres a flashback of her stabbing her eye, and also in dark knights death metal (?) shes drawn with an eyepatch

then she was in robin 2021 which was . eh. it wasnt BAD for her but it was just kinda her continuing to kill ppl ig :( but she was drawn so nice in that book so ill forgive it

side note i still hate the idea of respawn so that bothered me in this book. also what they did to connor hawke is unforgivable so its a net loss but whatever

anyways i think thats all my thoughts. in conclusion: new52 bad. rebirth mostly good. infinite frontier eh. and my own personal interpretation is perfect always.

[privatelife]

not to be too online this is gonna read so embarrassing but my sibling wasnt available so i cant talk to them abt it lol

but ive been in a terrible mood all day bc sometimes RARELY i try to interact with my moots on various websites just little comments here and there. i dont do it nearly enough im very isolated in life and online but if i feel the need, i like to just say a couple words, yknow, human interaction. like if we follow each other i figure it's cool to engage in small ways ? anyway a twitter mutual hornyposted abt d*vid h*ward thr*nton and i thought it was funny and agreeable so i replied "REAL" i didnt think anything of it. i wouldnt have even given it a second thought if she ignored it entirely i was literally just taking a break from work scrolling twitter whatever not serious. but she responded almost immediately "i dont share..." and that was it. so then ive felt all day like i did something stupid and wrong lmao I KNOW IT'S SO UNSERIOUS she couldve been joking for all i know. but we've interacted maybe once before so i cant even tell. i kinda dont think she was joking tho 😭

if i may psychoanalyze myself for a second i think this tiny interaction triggered my rejection sensitive dysphoria real bad cause it like reinforced my idea that there's just something inherently wrong and unlikable abt me and that i shouldnt even bother interacting with other ppl. im at a point where i dont really believe that so much anymore but i still would like to feel "accepted" by cool ppl with similar interests to mine someday lol. i have one (1) real friend now and that's positively effected my view of myself immensely BUT we don't share a lot of the same interests so it's like, i can talk all day long abt certain things that are important to me and they'll gladly listen, but they don't get it the way others might. and vice versa! i love them dearly and wouldnt trade them for the world but i do at the same time wish i had Other friends who are into idk. horror movies, b movies, the music i like etc. you know. i think that's a perfectly normal thing to long for 😭 it seems like every time i reach out for that it never ever works in my favor :( ive mostly accepted im a weirdo with weirdo interests nobody gets me im too cool whatever blah fart sound... but why cant we all be weirdos TOGETHER. wheres the CAMARADERIE

i suppose a therapist would say keep trying! you're doing great! but oof it just really left my brain in tatters for the day. over something so dumb !!!! stupid and dumb !!! anyway at the end of the day i still can, should, must, and will fuck the clown man.

[simcardiac-arrested]

Rikki cutscene?

phhhhhh my godd covering my mouth and giggling and kicking my legs and rolling around in bed and. rikki . she is everything to me. she’s like if a girl was sooo fail and had everything wrong ever. imagine masking your entire life and pretending that everything is okay. pretending you enjoy the golden child #lifestyle and that you’re actually really respectful and polite and considerate. But actually u are so full of anger. so full of rage and violence. but it’s ok really <3 you’ve been suppressing your emotions for decades and shelving away every problem ever but it’s fineeeeeee believe me it’s fine. it’s all good. yiu’re not even mad. it’s not avoidant and conflict averse behavior it’s just literally fine. also it’s less hassle if there’s no problems and everything’s gucci and no one’s mad (you are mad though. but like dont worry about it). it’s much less hassle to pretend like nothing has ever bothered you at all and to just nod along. you just don’t want trouble. you don’t want to get into trouble. you’re not honest, you might even push someone else under the bus if it helps you stay afloat. you’re only caring and considerate when it benefits you, you don’t actually know any of these people, you don’t actually respect any of them. it’s just easier to pretend like you do. and all you ever wanted was an escape, and you got it, and was it worth it? of course it was, you were doing the right thing, you were following your dreams and saving both him and you. he just didn’t understand—he’s your little brother, of course he didn’t understand. he never even cared, did he? or, wait, you shouldnt badmouth the dead—except of course he’s not dead, everything is fine, he’s just been missing for what, 7 years? but it’s fine. if you acknowledge something bad might have happened to him all those two decades of repressed feelings might just drown you for good. he’s fine. and then it turns out he really is fine. he’s just alive, and—oh. he hates you. he thinks you didn’t care. he thinks you abandoned him (he thinks you hated him). but what else were you supposed to do? you were just trying to save you both, to do the right thing. you wanted a better life. it’s not your fault that you lied, you were just trying to avoid pointless conflict—it’s less hassle that way. but of course he still got mad, because he’s him, and he only ever thinks about himself. and now he thinks you didn’t care. ridiculous. maybe he didn’t care when he tried to talk you out of following your dreams. maybe he didn’t care when he didn’t even leave a note, any sort of explanation. maybe he didn’t care when he said you didn’t care! because that’s so stupid, of course you cared, all you ever cared about was him. see, you did the right thing. you simply knew better. he doesn’t understand. nobody does (nobody ever understood how hard it’s been being the perfect one). but it’s okay. everything’s fine. you guys aren’t even fighting. you��re not even mad! everything’s good. it’s all okay. sure, your brother takes any chance he gets to antagonize you and act like the only victim on planet earth, but really, it’s all good. because you’re so polite. and you’re so respectful, and so considerate, so calm, so rational, so obedient, so perfect. nothing could ever get under your skin (except everything). nothing could ever make you mad (except everyone). and surely nothing could ever make you blow up, make the dam inside you finally burst, make all your anger and grief and every bad emotion under the sun known.

(…except him.)

[bridgyrose]

Hey Bridgey, literally all I want is (White Rose) Weiss having a sudden growth spurt and ending up about as tall as Winter, and Ruby realising she's now the shortest of her team... again... (anything else you can do whatever, I'm just emotionally craving that)

(Unfortunately for you, Weiss has never been taller than Ruby without heels)

“See? I told you I’d get taller than you one day.” 

Ruby paused for a moment when she realized she had to look up at Weiss, not quite sure when she managed to get a few inches taller. “Y-yeah, I can see that. When… when did that happen?” 

Weiss shrugged a bit. “I dont think I ever really paid attention. Guess I ended up with a late growth spurt.” 

“Seems like it…” Ruby sighed for a moment as she looked over Weiss, not sure how much she believed her. It had only been a couple years since they graduated Beacon, so it wasnt too likely that it was just a late growth spurt, especially with having been on missions with her over the last couple years, and she never did seem taller. 

“Though, it shouldnt matter much. I’m just glad I dont need to wear heels anymore to not look like a child.” 

Ruby chuckled a bit. “People thought you were a child? I thought your attitude would’ve made them think otherwise.” 

Weiss rolled her eyes. “You’d be surprised what people would think. Still, we should get going on our mission and not dally too much.” 

Ruby nodded and followed Weiss, still focused on how much taller that she had gotten. Though, she still wasnt sure why she was so focused on her height, it wasnt like she was bothered being shorter than most of her team anyway, but seeing Weiss taller than her started to make her feel self conscious. It was a strange feeling, one that she hadnt felt since she had started transitioning the year before she made it into Beacon. And yet, here she was, once again comparing herself to someone that she had a crush on and feeling… not quite herself. 

“Everything okay, Ruby?” Weiss asked as they walked. “You seem quieter than you normally are.” 

“I-I’m fine, really, I uh-” Ruby sighed and looked away. “How did you really get so tall?” 

“It was just a growth spurt-” 

“You’re just as tall as Yang now! How did you do that so quickly?” 

“Because I lied about my age!” 

Ruby stopped in her tracks and looked at Weiss curiously. “You… lied about your age?” 

“Well, not… me, but father…” Weiss sighed and found a stump to sit on. “After Winter ended up going off to Atlas, father wanted to make sure he had an heir ready, but I… I was still a bit too young. Then, he lied about my age to get me into school quicker. When I entered Beacon, I was fifteen, just like you.” 

“You… you were?” Ruby leaned against a tree, almost too surprised to realize how angry she was from the couple years of being treated like a child by her. A grudge she didnt realize she’d been carrying. “Then why did you keep treating me like you did when we first came to Beacon?”

“Because I… I couldnt… I wanted to tell the truth, but I needed to act like an adult for father and I couldnt let anyone know that I was younger than everyone… and if I admitted that I was a child like you, then-” 

“Then what? You thought we’d be angry?” 

“-you’d treat me… different.” 

Ruby paused for a moment when she saw Weiss look genuinely scared, not at all like a woman who knew exactly what she wanted. Nervous like she was when she first came to Beacon, still young and coming into who she was supposed to be. “We wouldn’t have.” 

Weiss looked up at her. “You would’ve-” 

“We would have treated you like a friend.” Ruby moved to sit down next to Weiss, leaning against her. “And… it would’ve been nice to know that there was someone my age on our team as well. Then maybe we both could’ve felt less alone.” 

“That… that would’ve been nice.” 

“But no more secrets, okay?” Ruby asked with a smile, standing up and offering a hand to Weiss. “Though, we should get back to our mission.” 

Weiss nodded and took Ruby’s hand. “No more secrets.”

[cogbreath]

i waint to hea r your bbt things

sheldon is also not the only one whos autistic imo. im not certain of who i all headcanon as such, but i feel its a fitting one for amy and bernadette actually. i think a lot of the problems with the way sheldon's autism is written is the fact that other characters don't *respect* him about it. like his needs and behaviors are often belittled or treated as nonsensical. overall i think everyone should be much kinder and understanding about it towards him seeing as they are literally his friends and all.

also probably a nitpicky thing and a matter of my own autistic sensory preferences but i feel it makes more sense for sheldon to NOT wear his sleeves rolled up for sensory reasons. whatever though im allowed to project. also i think they missed an opportunity to explore his interest in vexillology more? like there was maybe 1 or 2 episodes i remember about it but if youve ever met a vexillology enjoyer you know its a common topic they gush about.

speaking of gushing i think the dynamic between sheldon and amy would be like. two autistic best friends who love to infodump at eachother and do parallel activities. at most maybe they have some sort of queerplatonic thing going on? but im not actually super versed in what that means despite being aromantic myself xP

oh anothet thing that bothers me is how the female characters are written as not getting any of the geeky stuff??? it's stupid. like, yeah penny isnt a nerd, but she's an aspiring actress i think she would know what a star trek is. -_- honestly like, all of them would understand a lot of those things and are probably into similar stuff. bbt seems to think that like, these are Guy interests that all women dont understand or get when in reality like, dc comics n shit like that, literally your average person can follow along so i hate that they make the women seem as if they don't understand star wars references.

obviously this is probably one of the most common complaints about the show but id love to have made a lot of the pop culture references controlled and niche. we dont need a reference every other 5 minutes, id like to define each character's interests in a more sensicle way outside of just "haha guys look theres nerd stuff on tv hahah did you guys get that reference"?

also another problem is the way howard behaves. like some episodes his behavior is like, sexual harassment at times, which is met with a laugh track every time. not cool, and unnecessary, should be written to be more respectful. and then of course id like to make him have a better view of his mother, the dynamic in the show is one based off of antisemitic stereotypes about jewish mothers, and thats shitty. i wont retcon it to be a perfect mother/son relationship, like they would definitely still bicker, but i want to potray his mother as more than nagging and obsessive, like perhaps she does care too much and doesn't always treat him as an adult at times, but i dont find a lot of the overall nastiness that happens in the show between them to be funny or interesting.

raj is a pretty okay character imho, but definitely needs to be written more respectfully. He is a major example of the trope of characters of colour being sidelined. like the fact he was the ONLY character to be single in the end of the series? its kinda fucked up lol. obviously as mentioned before i think raj x howard should be the canon outcome. howeber both of them are bisexual, they both are potrayed as having interest in women; but i also think their interest in eachother is serious, or at least should be written as such. its also probably likely that the way he's written in terms of his culture should be improved but i havent gotten around to that just yet. i also think his anxiety issues should have been written with more respect, like the fact he was physically unable to talk to girls i think shouldnt have been an issue he had with *just* women. it seems they were trying to potray him as having selective mutism? but obviously thats not a thing that ONLY happens when one is a around ppl they r attracted to.

bernadette im actually rlly excited to write better because she reminds me of myself at times. i will dial her mischievous nature and her interest in microbiology up to 10. i will make her infodump about prions just i do.

also imho leonard is transmasc. i dont have any like, "evidence" or theory for why i think that other than just he feels that way to me. not that we even need justifications for transgender headcanons around these parts though.

also wil wheaton will NOT be existing anymore as a character in the narrative due to the fact he blocked me on tumblr for some dumbass shit. LOL.

uh i didnt expect to actually have all that much to say about this show... LOL.. enjoy my rambling!