#hi. rikki and william are so normal. come closer

[simcardiac-arrested]

Rikki cutscene?

phhhhhh my godd covering my mouth and giggling and kicking my legs and rolling around in bed and. rikki . she is everything to me. she’s like if a girl was sooo fail and had everything wrong ever. imagine masking your entire life and pretending that everything is okay. pretending you enjoy the golden child #lifestyle and that you’re actually really respectful and polite and considerate. But actually u are so full of anger. so full of rage and violence. but it’s ok really <3 you’ve been suppressing your emotions for decades and shelving away every problem ever but it’s fineeeeeee believe me it’s fine. it’s all good. yiu’re not even mad. it’s not avoidant and conflict averse behavior it’s just literally fine. also it’s less hassle if there’s no problems and everything’s gucci and no one’s mad (you are mad though. but like dont worry about it). it’s much less hassle to pretend like nothing has ever bothered you at all and to just nod along. you just don’t want trouble. you don’t want to get into trouble. you’re not honest, you might even push someone else under the bus if it helps you stay afloat. you’re only caring and considerate when it benefits you, you don’t actually know any of these people, you don’t actually respect any of them. it’s just easier to pretend like you do. and all you ever wanted was an escape, and you got it, and was it worth it? of course it was, you were doing the right thing, you were following your dreams and saving both him and you. he just didn’t understand—he’s your little brother, of course he didn’t understand. he never even cared, did he? or, wait, you shouldnt badmouth the dead—except of course he’s not dead, everything is fine, he’s just been missing for what, 7 years? but it’s fine. if you acknowledge something bad might have happened to him all those two decades of repressed feelings might just drown you for good. he’s fine. and then it turns out he really is fine. he’s just alive, and—oh. he hates you. he thinks you didn’t care. he thinks you abandoned him (he thinks you hated him). but what else were you supposed to do? you were just trying to save you both, to do the right thing. you wanted a better life. it’s not your fault that you lied, you were just trying to avoid pointless conflict—it’s less hassle that way. but of course he still got mad, because he’s him, and he only ever thinks about himself. and now he thinks you didn’t care. ridiculous. maybe he didn’t care when he tried to talk you out of following your dreams. maybe he didn’t care when he didn’t even leave a note, any sort of explanation. maybe he didn’t care when he said you didn’t care! because that’s so stupid, of course you cared, all you ever cared about was him. see, you did the right thing. you simply knew better. he doesn’t understand. nobody does (nobody ever understood how hard it’s been being the perfect one). but it’s okay. everything’s fine. you guys aren’t even fighting. you’re not even mad! everything’s good. it’s all okay. sure, your brother takes any chance he gets to antagonize you and act like the only victim on planet earth, but really, it’s all good. because you’re so polite. and you’re so respectful, and so considerate, so calm, so rational, so obedient, so perfect. nothing could ever get under your skin (except everything). nothing could ever make you mad (except everyone). and surely nothing could ever make you blow up, make the dam inside you finally burst, make all your anger and grief and every bad emotion under the sun known.

(…except him.)

[1787americanrevnerd]

The Life of Rebecca Barnes

Sorry if the dates are wrong, I tried my best to do the math.

The Howling Commandos had finally tracked down the only living family of James Barnes. James never talked about his personal life before the war to any of the Commandos and he really only talked to Steve. And since the Barnes' family is very closed off, it was hard to find James's family to offer condolences. He had died a while ago in the Swiss Alps, the army was going to send a letter but the Commandos thought it would be better to say it in person.When they came to the small apartment in NYC and knocked on the door they were not expecting a young girl with three other kids clinging onto her. The girl had frizzy, curly, hip-length dark brown hair. The Commandos knew this was the right house because the girl had the same smile as James.

"Hello, what can I do for you?" she asked. Dum Dum spoke next, "Is it okay if we come inside we worked with James." The girl nodded and ushered them inside. "Rikki, who are these people," asked a little girl with dirty blonde hair and green eyes. "Well, Lizzy these are some of Jamie's friends." Rikki picked up Lizzy and put her on her hip. "Is Stevie coming?" The Commandos felt guilty at the question Lizzy asked, Steve died the day previous."Anyway, what brings you to my apartment?" asked Rikki. "Well we are looking for a Rebecca is she home?" said Gabe Jones. "Oh, that's me, Rikki's a nickname my stupid brother gave me when we were kids." The Commandos now felt even more saddened by the news they were about to give the Barnes family. "Could we talk in private," one of the Commandos asked Rebecca.

Rikki led them into a separate room so that they could talk privately. "So why are you at my house?" asked Rikki. The Commandos knew that they should rip the bandaid off but it's still difficult to take off the bandaid. "Rikki that's a funny nickname," said Jim trying to start a conversation. "Yeah, I would always try to annoy my brother by calling him Jamie because he didn't like to be called, and I quote, "A name meant for a girl" so I always called him Jamie. He then started to call me Rikki since it sounds like a boy's name. And it just kind of stuck.""Ms. Barnes we have some unfortunate news to tell you," said Jack. Rebecca stiffened, "Is Jamie okay?" All of the Commandos looked down and Rebecca gasped. "He died in action, we were ambushing a train in the swiss alps and your brother fell off the side. He died fighting, I'm sorry for your loss," said Gabe. "Why isn't Steve here telling me this then?" questioned Rebecca. "Steve died crashing a plane into the ice in order to save millions," explained Dum Dum. They tried to say nice things to her like, "It's okay." "They died for a greater cause" but with every word Rebecca got angrier. Rebecca stood up and wiped off her tears, " No it's not okay my brothers died! For you people, and then you start saying meaningless words to me about it. Get out, get out of my house goddamn it!" The Commandos left silently not wanting to upset Rebecca further.

Rebecca went to her siblings, "I have some bad news, Stevie and Jamie died in the war." Lizzy and Martha went quiet and Linda, who was only a baby, started to cry. Rebecca wanted to cry too, but she had to stay strong like Jamie always did.Once the kids went to bed Rebecca dropped on the floor and started crying. "We can't even bury a body," she said over and over again. Jamie was always so full of life it's hard to imagine him dead. Deep down inside Rebecca believed that he was not dead, they had always had a twin-like bond, even though there was a 3 year age difference, meaning that they always knew what the other thought and the other well-being. Rebecca Barnes hated the people responsible for her brother's death and Rebecca needed to bring them to justice.

One Year Later

Rebecca wanted to do something worthwhile and she thought joining the S.S.R. was the only way to do so. Rebecca had good grades and experience with things the S.S.R did. She had taken criminology and forensic science in school and had just finished her combat training.When she was in the office and the man put down her file her looked up at her and said, "Why should we hire you?" he asks. Rebecca thinks about it and says, " I want to make the world a safer place and-" The man cuts her off, "No, no, no, I mean why would we hire you a woman. We already have Margret." Rebecca stands up and slaps her hands on the table, "Listen here you short sexist piece of sh*t, if a man came in here with the file I have I know for a fact you would hire him. Also, it is my human right to be able to work if I want to, I'm leaving so give me a letter when you make up your mind."

As she stormed out she was cut off by Margret Carter, "I agree with what you said about the chief being a short sexist," she didn't finish her sentence being a proper lady. Rebecca however was not, "Piece of sh*t." Peggy nodded. "I know a great Diner around here would you like to go once my shift is over?" Rebecca didn't have many friends this would be good for her. "Sure I would love to."

When they went to the diner Peggy led them to a booth and she sat down. "So what's your name?" asked Peggy. Rebecca hadn't even realized that they didn't know each other's names. "Rebecca Barnes," she said simply. Peggy froze at the surname remembering someone who was lost in the war. "Peggy Carter," Peggy said thinking that Barnes was a very popular surname it could be a whole other family.

"Do you have any siblings?" Peggy asked. "I have three younger sisters, Elizabeth, Lidia, and Margret. And I ha- had one brother, James," answered Rebecca. Peggy was now sure that this is the sister of James Buchanan Barnes. "What about you do you have any siblings?" asked Rebecca in return. "Yes I also had an older brother," replied Peggy. "I'm sorry for your loss," replied Rebecca. "It's okay, it was a long time ago." Rebecca was very easy to talk to, and she wasn't like the people Peggy was usually drawn to. She was far from a proper lady, she sat like someone who was not taught proper edict, and she was wearing pants. Not pants made for women but pants that probably belonged to a man at some point. "Your pants where did you get them?" Peggy asked. "They're hand-me-downs, from my brother. Money was never tight at my house but it just made me feel more normal, you know wearing hand-me-downs like most other younger siblings. Anyway enough about me, what's your deal?"

"I have worked in the SSR for a long time and I didn't get many jobs or respect until the war when I helped with Project Rebirth. After the war, well I turned into the secretary. I want to show people that I can do just as much as a man can and that I didn't just become an Agent because there weren't enough men to do the job. Why are you here?" Rebecca knew her answer, " You might not like it or agree with it but, I want to take down the people that hurt me and so many families. I don't want anyone else's brother to die because of a war. And the only way to do that is to rid the world of insane people who want to take over the world." Peggy nodded, "Well seeing as we will be the only women in the department I look forward o filing papers with you and hopefully putting "villains" in jail." Rebecca smiled and took a sip of her water, this felt like a good thing.

2 years later

It was Rebecca's first mission, there was no one left to do it. She had to take down some drug dealers. When she got to the location something was wrong the drug dealers were there all right but there were other people there. They had the HYDRA symbol on their jackets. Oh, how stupid had we been to think that if we killed the leader that they would die she thought. She had to move closer to get a better look.

She went up in the vents in order to hear and see everything clearly. Unfortunately, the vents were not very strong and she fell from them. The drug dealers left and the HYDRA soldiers pinned her to the ground. "Let's see who you are," the soldier said as he reached for the dog tags she wore. "These say, James Barnes, you can't be him. You must be his sister but which one? Are you Martha, Lidia, or maybe Elizabeth? Wait you are in your twenty's oh yes you must be Rebecca. Your brother's favorite."

"What are you going to do to me now that I know you still exist?" she asked. "Nothing, we know that you will be too scared to tell. Now run along and don't come back. She ran back not wanting to die. But she will tell people about Hydra.

Once she was out of earshot the soldier said, "Send the Winter Soldier after her. We can't have her knowing about us, or him."

---------------------------------------------------------------------Rebecca was on a date with her boyfriend of one year, William Proctor. They had stayed at Rebecca's house since they were an interracial couple so no one would serve them at restaurants. "So how was work today?" asked William. "It was good," lied Rebecca. She still hadn't told him about her real job he thought she was working at a DMV. "You're lying, you always take a sip of your wine and look left when you lie," said William. If he wasn't catching her lie Rebecca would have thought that it was very sweet that he notices the small things about her. "It wasn't the best but, I did get to try something different. William, I don't work at the DMV, I'm working at the S.S-" at that moment a metal hand went through the wall.

It was a man dressed in what seemed to be kevlar, he had a district metal arm, and was wearing a mask. Or a muzzle, part of Rebecca thought. "Is this someone from work?" asked William sarcastically. "Yeah, I was trying to track down some drug dealers, ran into HYDRA. I guess they sent their puppet after me," she replied. The man didn't like her comment very much because he started to attack her. Rebecca blocked most of his punches until his knife cut into her right shoulder, he then pulled it down to her wrist causing a massive cut along her arm. "Rebecca are you okay?" asked William from where he was standing in the kitchen. "Yeah just throw me a wrench or a knife!" yelled Rebecca. She had an idea, it might not be great and was based on a very flimsy theory but she wanted to try nonetheless. Once, William passed her a long kitchen knife she tried to shove it into one of the slots on the metal arm. She was successful she then twisted them with great struggle though since the man was trying to kill her. William came from behind and put two more objects in the man's metal arm. By this time Rebecca had already done quite a bit of damage. Knowing that he would lose the man left. Rebecca then collapsed in William's arms.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------"So how did you really cut the entirety of your right arm?" asked Peggy. "What do you mean? I was in a car crash and I cut myself on the window," answered Rebecca. "That's absolute rubbish, you're a great driver. Also, you're a terrible liar," Peggy told her. Rebecca sighed, "A man broke into my house, probably working for the people I "met" a few days back, he cut my arm." Peggy nodded, "What did he look like maybe I know about him." Rebecca thought back to the most distinct thing about him, "He a metal arm for his left arm." Peggy's eyes widened, "People have been talking about him, civilians I mean, a man with a metal left arm comes up at least once with every political murder after the war. People started to call him the Winter Soldier, the S. S. R. has been looking into him for a while now, but nothing comes up, he's like a ghost." Rebecca smirked, "Well then it must be a miracle that I'm still alive."

2 years later

This was Rebecca's first mission since she found out she was pregnant. She and William had decided that William would stop working, he didn't like his job much anyway. Rebecca almost got fired because the S. S. R. didn't want to pay for her maternity leave. She told her boss that she wouldn't take the leave, her husband (they aren't technically married but they have known each other for three years) would be home taking care of the child. She still went on missions since she only had a small baby bump. Nothing dangerous though, just a stakeout with Peggy and Howard. She told them about HYDRA well, she told Peggy and Howard overheard. She and Howard didn't get along, he was egotistical and cocky, two traits Rebecca hated. Howard had an equal despise for her, she was too reckless, something that wasn't always a good thing.

HYDRA was loading a truck nothing too interesting until the Winter Soldier came out to help them. He doesn't have his mask on but he was far away so no point in trying to figure out who he is, thought Rebecca. "Hey he kind of looks like Barnes," pointed out Howard. "I'm right here Stark, " growled Rebecca. "No, I mean your brother," explained Howard. Peggy leaned forward and squinted her eyes, "I mean from a distance." Rebecca laughed, "Why would Jamie be working for HYDRA? Also, my brother is incredibly vain, there is no way he'd let his hair get like that!" Peggy nodded then looked at Howard, "She has a point." Howard thought for a minute, "Maybe they put his brain in a blender?" Rebecca looked sick, "Please stop." Howard did, there were only a few things Howard was afraid of, and one of them was an angry Barnes.

3 years later

Rebecca had just had her second child, Myla, and she was already worrying. Her son, James, was a tiny terror she hoped that he didn't rub off on Myla. James had skin a little darker than Rebecca's, he had Williams nose and eyes, everything else about his completion looked closer to Rebecca. Kyla had very dark skin, she also had curly brown hair like her mother, she had her grandfather's eyes, and had Rebecca's jawline. Rebecca felt bad that none of them would ever meet their Aunts and Uncles since both Rebecca and William's family did not agree with the pairing. Rebecca felt especially bad that the one Uncle who would love to meet the kids couldn't be there. She and William had bought a small three bedrooms one bathroom house, because of the new family edition. All in all, Rebecca couldn't wait for the adventures to come with her family.

12 Years Later

Peggy had brought Rebecca to a diner to talk. "I and Stark have started something, called S.H.I.E.L.D. it's basically the S. S. R. but private would you like to join us. Rebecca nodded furiously, "Of course, I've been meaning to get out of the S. S. R. and I'm sure anything you're founding has to be worth it." Peggy laughed, "So what do you say we go and hand in our letters of resignation." Rebecca got up from the table excited to have a new beginning.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Seriously though Stark, why haven't you found someone yet. You're almost 43, times running out," said Peggy. "Look not all of us want to get married and have kids super young like Ms. I'm Fine over there," retorted Howard. "What do you mean young? I was 29 when I had James, and 32 when I had Mayla," said Rebecca. "The point still stands and I'm in a relationship now and it's going great," states Howard. "What's her name?" asked Peggy. "Maria, speak of the devil, I have a date with her. Nice talking to you ladies." Rebecca scoffed, "Let's hope this one isn't insane."

5 Years Later

"Top of the class aye?" asked Rebecca. Mayla blushed, "Yeah which means that I can choose any job I desire." Rebecca smiled, "What do you want to do then?" Mayla looked down, "Well I already applied for a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. and they hired me so I guess that." Rebecca was a little confused as to why her daughter would go behind her back on this one. "I just didn't want people thinking I got the job because of Aunt Peggy. I'll be working in the science division so I don't want people thinking I'm just dumb and spoiled." Rebecca laughed, "No one will think that you graduated top of your class from college when you're 19."

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That same year Anthony Stark was born, Howard was nervous. He was worried that Tony would turn out like him, Peggy worried the same thing. Rebecca tried to tell Howard that Maria was a good lady, she probably toned down the Stark genes in that kid.

21 Years Later

William had come to pick Rebecca up from work. That was when something strange happened William noticed something Peggy didn't. "Hey why have these guys neer finished their mission?" asked William. Howard went to get their files, "Maybe they forgot to check in?" Rebecca shook her head, "But all of them admit to not completing the mission. And they have outrageous reasons as to why. Who believed these guys?" Peggy went to the back of the file room and took out a few more, "They were all signed by these men, we don't have any records on them until the year 1965." William spoke up, "Maybe they are in on something together, like a rival agency type deal." Howard scoffed, "There is no way SHIELD could be infiltrated." Rebecca hit him upide the head, "Your arogence will be the end of you, Stark." Peggy shruged, "We'll look into it in the morning. Howard your son is home you should be spending time with him. Rebecca if I am not mistaken you have your grandchildren Kimberly and Scott waiting for you to teach them how to properly use a gun." They all left but none of them knew that this was the last time Howard, Peggy, and Rebecca would be in the same room together.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

They were all invited to the funeral, even if Rebecca wasn't that close to Howard. Peggy and Rebecca sat next to Tony the whole time knowing that he needed someone to be there with him. Peggy and Rebecca were like his Aunts, they were usually at the Stark estate. Rebecca and Howard would be bickering most of the time but Rebecca was still present at the house often when Tony was a child. Everyone was telling Tony about how his father was a great man and how they were sorry that he lost his dad. However Peggy and Rebecca tod him that Howard wasn't perfect and that they were sorry he had to lose his parents but they never tried to tell him what to feel or how to think about it.

18 Years Later

Rebecca had grown old and now had great-grandchildren, but she still worked at SHIELD. She didn't work in the field anymore though, she was a therapist of sorts. One day they sat her down with a young lady with bright red hair and told Rebecca to make the girl safe to be around. They were then left alone to talk and to help this girl through whatever was going on with her."My name is Rebecca Barnes Proctor, and you are?""Natasha Romanoff.""What would you like me to call you?""...Natasha.""Well then Natasha let's get started. Why are you here?""I worked for the KGB a kind man named Clint Barton dragged me here and they told me to sit through this until I was stable enough to go into the field.""I used to be a SHIELD Agent you know, I was here when this place was first built. Now I work here, helping people like you.""...Who is that a picture of on your desk?""That was my brother, he died in the war.""I'm sorry.""It's okay he's been gone for a long time. Anyway why would people think you aren't stable?""I was a Russian Spy, they just want to make sure I'm on their side.""Do you promise not to betray us?""I wouldn't dream of it. I can't go to a prison cell, again.""Great then I will tell themyou are stable as long as you come help me watch over my great grandchildren every Thursday.""I will Mrs. Proctor.""Oh please, call me Rebecca.""Thanks Rebecca."

1 Year Later

"You seem quiet today Natasha is something wrong?""It's nothing I just got out of the Hospital that's all.""What were you there for?""A man with a metal arm shot someone through me.""So I see you've met the Winter Soldier.""The Winter who?"The Winter Soldier, he's an assassin.""Why haven't I heard of him?""He's like a ghost no one can track him and every file we have of himis erased gone. You see this scar he gave me it."Natasha looked at the scar, "Looks like it hurt." Rebecca sighed, "It did for a long time, but what's done is done. Be careful Natasha." Natasha smiled, "I always am."8 Years Later"Rebecca!" called Natasha, "I brought some company for you!" Rebecca smiled, "I'm in the kitchen." She was trying to complete the crossword when she saw Natasha. "Hello, dear I'mso glad you found time to visit me." Natasha looked at the other visitors, "Guys this is Rebecca, she's a few years younger than Steve. And Rebecca this is Sam-" Rebecca inturpterd her, "Stevie! Why haven't you visited me since you came back from the ice?" Steve looked dumbstruck, "I thought you would be dead or you wouldn't remember me." Rebecca wacked him upside the head, "That was easier to do when you where shorter but this will have to do. How dare you think me dead! And I'm not that old, this brain's still ticking!"

Bucky was behind the wall he didn't really know who this lady was and he wasn't sure she would be happy to have a murderer in her house. He noticed something on her left arm then, a scar going down it. Bucky remembered that, he did it to the young women who was trying to have dinner with her boyfriend, then he tried to kill her. Bucky stepped out of the shadows to say he was sorry for hurting her all those years ago when the women hugged him. She started saying, "Jamie, I knew you were alive! Everyone said that you were dead but I knew deep down that you were alive!" Natasha smiled, that was the first time Bucky had ever seen her smile. "As I was about to say, this is Rebecca Barnes Proctor," said Natasha. When the name was said Bucky started to remember her, he would call her Rikki. Bucky hugged her back, "Long time no see Rikki." Rebecca looked at Bucky's arm, "I know what you did and I forgive you."

1 Year Later

Rebecca died peacefully in her sleep a few months after seeing Bucky again. Evryone said that since she saw him her heart had been ready to go, knowing that he was alive. Others said that she missed her friends and loved ones. Whichever you choose to belive just remember that Rebecca Barnes lived an amazing life.