#maybe this is my Summer Jamz Album?

[leupagus]

Hey I know you are looking for original songs for your GOT fic but I just wanted to let you know, there is an album called "Gods of the Earth" by The Sword which is a GOT inspired power metal album. I know it isn't quite what you asked for but I did want to share it with you just in case!

OK first of all that's AWESOME, and I will be listening to it immediately. Second I may well use some of the lyrics from this but I was hoping for some specific subjects that a quick gander at this album it looks like they don't cover (nor would I expect them to!). Although it WOULD be amazing to have these fics be cross-tagged as "Game of Thrones (TV)" and "Gods of the Earth (music album)."

[palbabor-writes]

Shota’s Cool Times Summer Jamz Mix

But for real, this is a Class 1-A Character Analysis, but with their music choices! 

So it’s editing day, and @albinoburrito​ and I got a little off track. It started with, what do you think Bakugo would listen to? And then it just spiraled out of control. 

So, here it is. Shota’s Cool Times Summer Jamz Mix

Izuku: Indie music, general pop, his dad’s old classic rock albums - was especially excited when he found out that All Might also listens to classic rock and uses it for his workouts. He prolly made like 20 new playlists after that and always tries to play them on the down low when All Might is training with him. He fucking loves it when All Might is like, “oh! I love this song”. Or, asks for him to turn the volume up. Has done some low fi for studies, but that’s really the only time he does it. He likes Young the Giant, MGMT, Alt-J, Strfkr and bands like The Rolling Stones and Van Morrison fill out most of his workout playlists.

Bakugo: Honestly, he doesn’t have any hard and fast preferences. If he likes things he SoundHounds them and moves on. He can cultivate playlists, but it’s not like he’s Kaminari level, having playlists for any and all activities. I do feel like he would lean more toward rap & hip hop titles. As well alt and alt rock. No fucking scream-o, or Eminem, please and thank you. Artists like: Childish Gambino, Travis Scott, Drake, blackbear, Missio, NCT 127, and Jaden’s Icon. However, he does have one low key, wind down playlist with sad, sappy songs that he had to immediately lock when the others found his Spotify. Shit like Band of Horses, Lord Huron, and Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish.

Sero: Indie and indie bops: i.e. Loud Pipes by Ratatat. Some rap & hip hop. Maybe upbeat alternative jams. He strikes me as a Gorillaz fan. He’s good at making playlists, he’s better at the low key ones. Things that you can comfortably listen to and don’t mind them. He doesn’t overthink this. If you hand him the aux you’re never upset. You’ll get bands like: Two Door Cinema Club, Passion Pit, St. Lucia, COIN and Coast Modern.

Kaminari: The KING of cultivated playlists. Like, has one for every occasion. Need something for a party that your parents will also attend? Cross generational? He’s got you. Pump up jams for specific people? He made them like a week ago and has choices. Makes playlists for certain people, but won’t give them out unless you actually want them, or ask him. Yes, he made one for Shinso after that training battle. No, he hasn’t worked up the courage to show him yet. Personal preference: he’s into all the latest pop & he keeps up with artists and tends. For upbeat playlists he goes for: Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Rihanna, Maroon 5 and Major Lazer. For low key playlists his go to are: NIKI, Khalid, KALEO, Transviolet, Noah Cyrus, and Bea Miller. His favorite artists waffle. They change rapidly. He loves them one week, but next week he’s got a new fav. He also likes the Jpop scene.

Mina: Hip Hop QUEEN. If it’s got a good beat she is all over it. MUST be a banger. She has mood banger playlists. Like, Kamanari, she’s got some good playlist cultivation skills. She’s also who you want to go to for road trip & sing along playlists. My girl loves a good upbeat “friendship,” playlist. She has a soft spot for some indie bands, i.e, MisterWives, Lorde & Billie Eilish. For her everyday listening needs she is all about: Run the Jewels, Lil Nas X, Quinn XCII, Logic, Calvin Harris, Nicki Minaj and Bhad Bhabie.

Jiro: She listens to all most everything. Massive, massive music pallet. Her family was always big on diversifying her musical tastes. Never let yourself be limited or judgmental because it’s not what you usually listen to. That said, she super big into rock and alt rock. She really like to follow bands. Like Paramour, Panic at the Disco. Bands that have shifted and changed over time. She admires that skill. Jiro cultivates playlists that are super specific and poetic. You know, those concept playlists that are like: enchanting, serene. You are laying in an abandoned castle and you’ve never felt this content and at peace. You are one with the universe, never in your life... Like that shit that’s like a paragraph long and you don’t even understand why, like, why is it so long? And so, specific? She’s got that shit locked down on Spotify. Mina found hers once, ONCE, and she tightened that security seconds later. She loves to listen to: Fleetwood Mac, The Zombies, Joni Mitchell, Terror Jr, Woodkid, Foo Fighters and David Bowie. Literally, she likes everything. Equal opportunity music listener. If it feels good it’s going in a playlist and that playlist is turning into a poem.

Tokoyami: 100% listens to GOTH rock - POST PUNK jams. Don’t @ him. It’s just his vibe k? Siouxsie and the Banshees shit, The Cured, The Smiths, and some good ole’ Evanescence. The darker the better, Revelry in Dark y’all. He’s a sucker for rock opera, that epic extra shit, but it’s also low key embarrassing. He wants no one to know of this. Like if you find it, go away and leaf him alone. Also, never speak of this again. He’s redacted, he’s not even on this list. You didn’t see this.

Iida: Oh my king, he likes some of that Bastille, Coldplay, Imagine Dragons, One Republic in his playlists. Low key, alt rock. Good ole’ safe, alt rock. But, he does like some pop songs. Not that he will talk to you about that. When he’s with his folks he likes to masquerade as a classic rock buff. But he’s bluffing pretty hard. He’s working on that with Izuku. He’ll get there you guys. He knows his brother loves it so he’s trying his BEST. For his pump up work outs he does go for that DAFT PUNK techno.

Aoyama: Oh. My. God. He loves flashy bands. Fucking Glam rock all the way. He’s also super, super up to date on the French hip hop and pop scene. Into people like Yelle, Phoenix, Soprano, Ayama Kamura, Stromae. Loves ELO just for the sheer operatic value. ABBA all the way baby. Anything exciting and anything that makes him feel invigorated. His playlists are a little scattered. He really just tosses whatever he’s vibing on in them.

Kirishima: You already know, why are you even looking here? He’s got the manliest playlists. When he was younger it was like, all alt rock, edgy stuff. Once he got to UA he cleansed that pallet. Not that he don’t go back to those playlists sometimes, but he’s also wanting to move on from those feelings. Now? He’s all about that positive rock babyyy. Anything that has a good, upbeat feeling he’s down for. He’s really looking for those VIBES. Things that get him pumped up and ready to go. Bands like: The Bleachers, The Mowgli’s, Banners, Jukebox The Ghost. Just real positive stuff, man. He also dips into classic rock for his workouts. If he feels like that rap song works with his workout jams it’s going in and he’s cranking it up. He totally found Bakugo’s sadboi playlist and immediately told him, hey, man, I have one of those too, emotions amiright? This is why Bakugo private locked his entire account HARD. Look what you did, Kirishima, you can’t see ANY of it now.

Uraraka: My girl likes pop. That bubble gum shit. But, she’s also has a superrrr hardcore rap playlist for her workouts, like, it’s kinda confusing. Mina found that playlist first and was like ????? I-Is this you? Like this playlist has DMX, Jedi Mind Tricks, Kanye, LL Cool Jay, A$ap Rocky, like, some tunes that get her GOING. But, she loves that cute Jpop and Kpop. She’s got tons of road jam playlists. Those you can put on and everyone is like, ooooooh, this song!!! She’s also has like 3 Disney playlists, for different moods. She also loves Girl in Red, Louis the Child, Hailee Steinfeld, and Mitski.

Todoroki: He...doesn’t have much experience with music cultivation. Like, he knows some songs, he didn’t live under a rock, but he also kinda did...so, that stunted him, in more ways than one. Thanks Endeavor. But, thanks to his classmates, he is starting to get the hang of this. He over thinks this stuff. Like, this music must speak to him. From Iida he likes Bastille, from Uraraka he likes King Princess, From Izuku he’s learned to love Grizzly Bear, and he really, really likes the playlist that Kaminari made for him. He’s leaning heavily on it to find some more tunes for his own small collection. He also learned that he loves anything that is hard rap as well. Especially if he can play it in front of Endeavor. You know, the ones are like, you didn’t fucking pay your child support, you ass. That aggressive, angry rap: Kendrick Lamar, Wiz Khalifa, J. Cole, 21 Savage and Montana of 300. It’s to make his father as uncomfortable as he possibly can be.

Tsuyu: Fucking rainforest and ambient noises. Not really, but also actually. She likes calming sounds, ok? Everyone was like, this is a joke, don’t be ridiculous and then she showed them her playlist of rain sounds. I mean, you go girl. But really, her collection is mostly pop songs, she likes them easy going. Much like her fighting and hero style, she is the glue that holds things together with the class in terms of music selection. Kinda of the bridging gap. Music that you just can’t complain about. Besides, why would you? What’s wrong with you? It’s Froppy. She and Uraraka often find themselves overlapping on their upbeat indie pop playlists, stuff like: Sara Bareilles, Oh Wonder, Kygo, Kero Kero Bonito, Taylor Swift, MARINA, and Regina Spektor. She did find Uraraka’s rap playlist and didn’t....approve. Did not want to use it for their joint workout. No, thank you.

Ojiro: Oh, you don’t get enough screen time son. You really don’t. He’s very low key. Into some indie stuff, like: Lumineers, Local Natives, Morningsiders, Manchester Orchestra, Vampire Weekend. He likes acoustic sounds, really down to earth. Once again, you cannot complain whenever he gets to select the music. Izuku especially approves when he plays his music because he always finds something new. For his workouts he prefers some heavy, heavy rock. You know, when you get to wail the shit out of stuff with your tail. He’s playing that Five Finger Death Punch in his MIND.

Koda: Nature sounds. Honestly. Full. Stop. Dead-ass he is living for artists like Corrine Bailey Rae, Hozier, Alesia Cara, Adele, and Maggie Rogers. He’s also got that Kacey Musgraves and Florence + The Machine on LOCK. Anything that feels ethereal and light is right up his alley. He likes it a little spooky sometimes. He does have a killer Halloween playlist, but he hasn’t ever quite worked up the courage to play it for his classmates. Oh. Also, listens to Enya un-ironically. He also might have a repeat problem with Imogen Heap’s Hide and Seek.  

Sato: He’s into new bands that I don’t even fucking listen to. He loves him some alt rock too. But, he’s not above that classic rock. He just likes stuff that he can head bang to. Not a metal head, but low key IS a metal head. Stuff like: Arctic Monkeys, Bring Me The Horizon, Highly Suspect, Royal Blood, The Smashing Pumpkins. He also has a wonderful baking playlist. Like 1950’s crooners. Think Dorris Day, The Ink Spots, Billie Holiday, Nat King Cole, and Frankie Valli.

Momo: Classical. Moving on. But really, she loves a good brain playlist with musicians, cuz they aren’t artists to her, they have a specific name for the work that they do: Bach, Debussy, Beethoven, Strauss, and some Tchaikovsky...some of his stuff is too much, even for her. She is starting to broaden her tastes. She really loves Sato’s baking playlist, those 50’s and 60’s beats are right up her alley. Jiro is slowly getting her to try out some pop and low key alt rock bands too. She’s growing and learning, y’all.

Toru: POP. That Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera MOUSE CLUB STUFF. She likes sing-alongs. Like has 20 Disney playlists and is always, always down to do a Grease playlist. You honestly feel attacked by how upbeat and peppy her playlists are, ATTACKED BY A GOOD TIME. It’s teen bop pop all the way here folks, no need to dig too deeply into it. She likes: Lizzo, Beyoncé, T. Swift, but like, leans into her hard, she is a swifter head, or whatever it’s called...Arizona, Carly Rae Jepson, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Harry Styles, Katy Perry, and Kesha among the millions of others.

Shoji: This guy. He loves him some alt rock. He, like Ojiro, needs more screen time. He likely listens to lofi playlists fully. Like, not in the way Izuku just listens to them when he’s studying, but like, for fun. Like he actually GETS them, you know? He likes bands like: Cage the Elephant, Beck, Broken Bells, Modest Mouse, The Killers, Neon Trees and Grouplove. For real tho, he needs more screen time.

Aaaaaaaand Mineta: He needs less screen time. Thank you your honor, I rest my case. Um, but like, he’s down for that dirty rap. Like, the slimier the better. If it’s ass, money, pussy, he’s on it. Big Sean is his hero. He thinks the Weekend is the best singer known to man. If this upsets you, I am sorry. I love him too, but sometimes we gotta face the truth. Mineta loves, loves, loves the Weekend. He’s also super down on the Megan Thee Stallion train. Oh, and Cardi B too. He also likes Tyga and Sage the Gemini. These are his top pics. His current ringtone is WAP and Aizawa nearly snapped his phone in half when he heard that go off in his classroom.

Bonus: 

- Aizawa: Yes, he has heard WAP. He’s literally attached at the hip to a dj and you know Midnight and Present Mic were all over that song when it was released. Those two tried to do that tiktok choral rendition of it. It didn’t go well. But seriously, this man likes a little bit of everything. He’s a no-fuss, low key guy and his music tastes are the same. He likes alternative and indie the most. Some of that: Sylvan Esso, Silversun Pickups, The Black Keys, The Flaming Lips, The Strokes, Cake, Incubus, and the Deftones. While he has no time to cultivate playlists, he does have a grading playlist that he quickly threw together. It helps him to zone in and work. Yes, Present Mic likes to add funky shit to it, just to ruffle his feathers. In the worst universe, slash in THIS universe, Aizawa was too lazy to get his own Spotify and he shares one with Present Mic. That poor algorithm has no idea what to recommend. He’s just waiting for that cease and desist letter from Spotify’s fraud department. Any day now.

Alright! Hope ya’ll liked it. Lemme know if you want more. We kinda started on one for the LOV, but it’s not finished just yet. In other news, we WILL edit the new chapter of “Look Upon the Light” tonight, don’t worry, we’ll be good. It should be out in the next few days. 

[intangible-rice]

Ayyy I’m back here’s some playlists

I haven’t been on tumblr in forever because I’m stuck in the past and still have an iPod classic and spent the past 6 months using basically all of my free time to finally import all of my music onto spotify

and then found out that spotify has a liked songs limit of 10,000 and i have 13,000 songs in my library so i’m probably gonna have to do the same exact thing all over again with apple music, thisisfine.jpg

but anyway to make up for it and also vaguely make people care about this post here’s all of the playlists that were on my iPod that I put on spotify!

And an easter egg that no one asked for, almost all of the playlist cover art images are photos that I actually took myself, yay me(?)

Travel/Road trip

Fall

Rain, but also made in the fall so kind of rainy fall day vibes

It’s summer, I’ve got my hat on backwards and it’s time to fuckin party

Snow

Driving

Driving, but at night(tm)

Lying on a beach blanket on top of warm sand and aimlessly looking at waves and seagulls and vaguely hearing ocean sounds under the music in your headphones

Holidays (ranging from the traditional to the irreverent, includes some nsfw stuff like Dick in a Box)

a mix CD that my 8th grade class made when we had our graduation prom/formal so it’s an extremely random collection of hits from 2004

Songs for those times when you think maybe the whole world might actually just be a computer simulation

Sleep

A GoT fanmix I made when that show was still good (with album art from the Bad Lip Reading)

A compilation of songs on my iPod that were vaguely western themed... idk it doesn’t totally work but yeehaw

The songs I considered to be the 500 best in my collection at one point

A playlist I made for when I was going through some bad shit; oscillates between self pity jamz, it’ll be okay songs, and anthems for swearing murderous vengeance on all who have wronged you

One time I also decided to put every song on my iPod that was explicitly about being alone on one playlist for some reason, but I never actually listened to it

In 2003 my family had a membership at the community pool and they always had the pop radio station going so while i have basically no recognition of r&b or hip hop bangers from that time i’ll hear some michelle branch or puddle of mudd and will instantly smell chlorine and be mid-jump off a diving board

[whifferdills]

albums i have enjoyed this year

check em out maybe

(look before tumblr implodes i AM going to use my minimal popularity to attempt to make people listen to my best jamz)

Ariana Grande - Sweetener - maybe you’ve been living under a rock or just avoid radio pop on principle and somehow managed to miss this one, idk. it’s great though and i’m so happy Ari is our main pop girl rn. (choice track: “Breathin”)

Mitski - Be the Cowboy - cinematic and tender and a touch weird. hugely emotional without ever feeling like a drag. it’s got bops, it’s got bangers, it’s got ballads. pop music for sad indie kids. i esp dig the Elvis Costello and the Attractions ish new wave organ that pops up here and there (ct: ”Washing Machine Heart”)

IDLES - Joy as an Act of Resistance - snarling, moody post-punk. doesn’t break any new ground but if you like that kind of thing, boy HOWDY is it good (ct: “Colossus”)

Pusha T - DAYTONA - shame that Kanye is...Kanye, bc his production here is why I fell in love back when “Through the Wire” dropped. the sparse, soulful sample-propelled beats work like *chef’s kiss* with Pusha’s flow. short, concise coke raps from two dudes operating at the top of their game. effortless, no fuckin around, just to-the-point qual la T (ct: “If You Know You Know”)

Iceage - Beyondless - swaggering, woozy rock and roll. idk how to listen to this album during the day. lil bit like a hardcore band tried to do a Velvet Underground album and failed, but like, in a good way ("Pain Killer”)

Brandi Carlile - By the Way, I Forgive You - WXPN singer-songwriter stuff in the best sense. this could be your cool aunt’s favorite album. earnest and heartfelt and yanno sometimes we all need some cheese in our lives (”The Joke”)

Moodie Black - Lucas Acid - backpack rap but the backpack is also filled with angular hooks, gender dysphoria, and about fifty pounds of industrial grime. angry and off-kilter and noisy and anxious. (”Sway”)

SOPHIE - Oil of Every Pearl’s Un-Insides - equal parts abrasive weirdness and deep vulnerability. the very best of ‘what the fuck is this’ future pop anchored by confessional intimacy. lowkey one of the best concept albums i’ve seen in yonks - this is an album about transition, and the fact she just out here not only giving us great music but putting an emotional transfemme narrative into the (relative) mainstream is Big (”Is it Cold in the Water?”)

Travis Scott - ASTROWORLD - ADHD album of the year. this thing is restless, picking up an idea and then dropping it for the next shiny thing a minute later. and it’s all fuckin great, and at some point the disjointedness turns into its own sort of kitchen-sink Vine-compilation flow. also i just like his voice so. (”Stop Trying to be God”)

Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour - COUNTRY POP IS BACK BABEY. a warm summer afternoon of an album. homey and shimmery and optimistic. the songwriting and production are basically perfect, this is basically a perfect album. would be undisputed AOTY for me if it wasn’t currently dark-at-4-pm wintertime thus limiting my ability to listen to anything this comfortable and bright (”Slow Burn“)

Grouper - Grid of Points - speaking of SAD theme music. much like IDLES, this is a ‘if you like the thing then you will like this specific thing’ - it’s a Grouper album, it’s drifty and distant and soothing and slightly unsettling. it does feel a touch less grim than earlier albums but, yanno, is still Grouper (”Driving”)

The Beths - Future Me Hates Me - THE 90S ARE BACK BABEY. this is like, “songs that would have played at the Bronze” type earnest pop punk. catchy, jangly, relatably awkward. songs to put on the jukebox and drunkenly dance and sing along while your friends try not to judge you. (”Happy Unhappy”)

Troye Sivan - Bloom - THE 80S ARE - anyway. pure pop confection. bops bout bottoming. this is for dancing alone in your room lipsyncing into a hairbrush. (”My My My”)

Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer - this kind of makes me want to go listen to Prince, but it’s still super enjoyable. I love Janelle but i’ve never been a whole-album fan of hers? if that makes sense? and this isn’t an exception. but when it hits, mm. one day she will release an album so good the world fuckin stops for it, but until then, this is p good. (”Make Me Feel”)

Snail Mail - Lush - more 90s alt rock i know I KNOW. it’s solid tho. idk if i’d rate it as highly as tastemakers seem to be doing but it does the thing, it does it well. a really good album for listening to on the train. (”Heat Wave”)

Robyn - Honey - it’s fuckin Robyn. again, this is one of those, like, ‘robyn did a good album, do you like robyn? you’ll love this’ things. a scotch more jittery and confessional than you might expect, but i doubt it’d change any minds, but, fuck dude. Robyn is BACK BABEY (”Call Your Girlfriend”)

Tierra Whack - Whack World - as ADHD as ASTROWORLD but instead of doing ALL THE THINGS ALL THE TIME it does an assortment of things very briefly. like a sketchbook of an album. these are all bops and i can’t decide whether i appreciate every song being a minute long, or mad. (”Fruit Salad”)

Parquet Courts - Wide Awake! - dancey post punk. Parquet Courts remains my favorite, uh, Sound? when it comes to guitar music - the tone, the mixing, they just do right by their instruments. in the grand tradition of Gang of Four’s white people funk involving yelling about...whatever (”Wide Awake”)

s/o to Kids See Ghosts, bc I can only do one Kanye-adjacent album this year but that was p good; the new Mariah, Charlie Puth for “Done for Me”, and all the albums i’ve forgotten about bc 2018 was like four years long. also lemme know what i missed like hmu with your ALBUMS OF THE YEAR

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week thirty-eight

takin’ some time to think ‘bout the songs what all debuted on billboard between on 27 september 1997, 29 september 2007, and 30 september 2017

spoiler this is extra salty, hoo boy pop music is bad and no one should like it

9.27.1997

2) "4 Seasons of Loneliness," by Boyz II Men

Yep. Yep, this is a '90s R&B slo jamz. Just a bunch of dudes singing gently about how epic and powerful some feeling is -- in this case, loneliness, which, if you were not aware, is the opposite of love. See, what makes loneliness so fascinating is, when you're in love, you're a two, right? But when you're an alone, you're a one. And if you're a one for long enough, you will eventually be alone through all four of the seasons -- winter, spring, summer, and of course, faultumln. What a brilliant job Boyz II Men do of portraying what it would be like to be single for a year.

29) "Everything," by Mary J. Blige

This is like a '90s R&B dude song from the female song. "You are my trusted friend/On you I can depend." First off, way not to end the lyric with a preposition, but also, I think I've heard that "friend/depend" from 1997 R&B dudes at least 20 times. "It never occurred to me the first time I saw your face/I would fall so deep in love, that your love can't be replaced." Face/Replace sounds new? But I wouldn't be surprised if it popped up here and there across '90s R&B. This is a bit bouncier and more upbeat than the R&B dude fare -- it's not overdramatic, it's Mary J. Blige revelling in love, so at least it has that going for it. It just doesn't feel like its own thing.

79) "Don't Go," by Le Click ft./Kayo

How come people who make dance music are so shitty at making hot dance tracks? Like, every EDM song in 2017 sounds like the apocalypse, and every dance song from 1997 is the saddest goddamned thing I've ever heard. "Don't go, my feeling can't be wrong." Now urrbody in the club gettin' desperate. Like what even is this, why are we putting this song in front of that "I'm Too Sexy" beat I can't stop hearing because Tay Tay ruined everything, why, why.

88) "Off the Books," by The Beatnuts ft./Big Punisher & Cuban Link

You know what, I didn't mind them. Everyone rapped well, and I appreciated a look at a life of crime that wasn't about drugs. You can also evade taxes, or launder money! Those are less fun crimes to commit than drugs, but they do the trick if you're out of drugs. I don't know how much of this song actually invovled money laundering, I just know the hook was "ain't nothin' but crooks in here/gettin' mad money off the books in here," and the song wasn't really worth paying attention to, so I'm just sort of hoping it was about the intricacies of money laundering.

90) "Love Is Alive," by 3rd Party

So OK this is just basic Euro stupidity CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING AMAZON AD. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FUCKING AMAZON AD WHERE THE DOG WISHES IT COULD TALK TO THE HUMAN. What even is the song they use in that ad? How did they find it? Like did they commission a song specifically for that ad? That song had to be written for the ad. They filmed and edited the ad, went to a coffee shop three blocks from the office, and asked people to take two minutes to write a song about a dog that wishes it could talk to humans. It's the worst goddamn song in the world and I have to hear it 20 times a week until the ad campaign is over because of this stupid fucking thing I'm doing. That's not fair. That's not fair! Why would you increase the degree of difficulty? I know it's late in the game, it's not supposed to be easy, but you're supposed to let me win. "I wish I could ask you how was your day." YOU'RE A DOG. YOU WISH FOR MEATS, AND THE DAY YOU DIE WILL BE THE HAPPIEST BECAUSE THAT IS THE DAY YOU GET TO HAVE A CHOCOLATE SOMETHING.

9.29.2007

14) "Good Life," Kanye West ft./T-Pain

This song is ridiculous because Kanye eventually is inspired by T-Pain to use Auto-tune on himself and makes three miserable masterpieces that affect pop/hip-hop for a decade, and this song is like the bounciest most triumphant thing off Graduation. Like you can trace a direct line from this song, with its jubilant T-Pain line and that delightful "more ass than the models" drop, to Lil Uzi Vert, who makes boring songs about how dark his mind is.

61) "1, 2, 3, 4," Feist

For some reason the top YouTube search result for this song is not this song, but rather the Plain White T's song. I hate that this is my algorithm. Also we talked about lineages, and we talked about the Amazon ad, and you can draw a direct line from this song's surprising rise to popularity to that goddamned Amazon ad. We made a folksy indie artist popular, and a decade later, we have a folksy indie-sounding song about a dog staring at a human and saying "UNDERSTAND ME! WHY?????" Like I'm listening to this song, and I'm no longer hearing the Apple ad, I'm hearing Linda from corporate's ringtone, because Linda from corporate downloaded the song from the Amazon ad. "It makes me so happy when the puppy talks to the baby!" Guys I'm not well.

86) "Inconsolable," Backstreet Boys

I feel like I'm on the precipice of an amazing joke or insight but all my brain is doing is staring at the words "Twenty years of not understanding why they keep giving AJ solos." Hey you wanna hear something bonkers? Two of the Backstreet Boys hadn't turned 30 when this song had been released. How the fuck are you gonna be in your late 20s and making adult contemporary jams. How is your life this over before you're at least 32. Also one of the Backstreet Boys was 36 in 2007. Sir, you are a Backstreet Man. I don't know what your problems are, but I can see you have several.

88) "Do It," Nelly Furtado

I mean, it exists. Like it just sort of starts, and then it doesn't stop. I felt like I was listening to this song for 1000 years because it just kept saying "do it like you do it to me." Except like I'd imagine this person is doing it to Nelly Furtado, so I guess I just don't understand why she wouldn't just urge him to keep doin' it? But then the song just faded out, and I'm just here like, did I actually listen to something? Was I supposed to hear a story, is this, is this a rough draft? Did they intend on polishing this before the release? "So you released the album before you finished the last track! Big deal! Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has those days, as we are fond of saying in 2007! But we will be releasing this as a single so the whole world can hear what a bad job you did."

93) "I'm So Hood," DJ Khaled ft./T-Pain, Trick Daddy, Rick Ross & Piles

Oh, DJ Khaled group cuts, at least you're never awful. You might only whelm, and I might think Piles is just an absolute zero of a person, but it's typically pleasant to hear you when you appear. DJ Khaled: not the worst since 2007.

94) "Sweetest Girl (Dollar Bill)," Wyclef Jean ft./Akon, Lil' Wayne & Niia

This would be a really touching song if it sounded like anyone on this track had spent time thinking about what it means to be a sex worker. Like I'm not tryna get all tumblr here, it's just, there's so many societal forces which combine to force someone into stripping, and these dudes are just like, "She used to be so nice! Such a shame she's doing this thing. Stupid money!" Like no there's so much more to it than that. But I'm also not sure Lil Wayn is in tune with the day's social issues. Also, heck is Lil Wayn doing on this song? It kind of feels like Lil Wayn was 100% on board with strip clubs for most of his career. This song is an outlier. I don't think Lil Wayne really think it's a tragedy when someone turns to stripping.

95) "My Drink n' My 2 Step," Cassidy ft./Swizz Beatz

This song is surprisingly good and I'm actually angry that the song I think of when I think of Cassidy is "Hotel" and not this jam. Cassidy's pretty much a one-hit wonder, but this should've been the hit.

96) "Firecracker," Josh Turner

This is a cute song and Josh Turner hits some gonzo low notes, but mostly I'm now obsessed with this idea of some country dude at some point calling his dick a firecracker. Like, I think it's nice he's calling his girl a firecracker, but there's gotta be a country dude somewhere making a joke about "don't get hurt holdin' my firecracker!" right? Or maybe we could use the Southern man's propensity for getting himself injured playing with firecrackers as a euphemism for masturbation. I dunno. I'm ready to move on, but if anyone wants to start making a bro country album with me, I am willing to chase this dog.

99) "Me Enamora," Juanes

This kind of sounds like the fun Latin song on a 2016 Backstreet Boys album. Like, it just doesn't sound as fun or as exotic as the Latin pop explosion of 2017. I think I'm just reacting to the presence of a dude playing guitar in the video. Like, that's how you remove mystique from a person, is just strap a guitar around them. That tells you he's the sort of person who walks around telling people he's a "storyteller" and Bob stop now before you just 100% rip off "guitar guy at the party."

100) "Kiss Kiss," Chris Brown ft./T-Pain

hey guess what nope

30 September 2017

5) "Too Good at Goodbyes," by Sam Smith

at first i thought "i have sang this song before" in the first verse and i was all "hey, thanks for writing my review buddy!" 'cuz like no shit he's sang this song before, this is the only song sam smith has ever song, the only emotion sam smith has ever felt in all his life is "melancholy" and his songs are bland and without flavor as a result, they're just pointlessly sad, also i said fuck you at my computer when the choir kicked in, like seriously of goddamn course a choir, titanic was less predictable

44) "Dusk Till Dawn," by ZAYN ft./Sia

You know what kinda ticked me off about this song that I'm not sure should tick me off but whatever? The chorus, where Zayn goes "I'll be waiting for right he-e-e-e-eeee-ee-e-e-e-eeeeee-e heeee-e-e-e-e-eeee-e-eeeere?" Like what are you trying to do with that long note if you have to take a breath during the middle of it? That rest doesn't add any tension, it only serves to take people out of the song and say, "Why'd you stop singing, dude? It sounded like you were just gonna keep singing for a few seconds. You lack breath control? Is that it? Zero technical skill, ZAYN?" But it's entirely possible I'm the only person annoyed by that. And it's also possible I just wanted to be annoyed at something in particular, rather than just pointing at this song and shouting "BAD" like I did in the first draft. Because hoo boy, this ain't a hot one!

62) "Love So Soft," by Kelly Clarkson

OH GOD YES KELLY IS ON THE HORN BANDWAGON. I WAS SO READY FOR THOSE HORNS, I KNOW HOW POP MUSIC'S BEEN TRENDING THIS YEAR, I WAS WORRIED THIS WOULD JUST BE A BALLAD FROM THE TITLE, BUT THERE IS LIGHT HORNAGE and also this is the best Kelly song in years. The thing her voice does when she sings "it sure gonna cost YOU" is pure and it also does a million other things because it just flies around this song, Kelly Clarkson is flexing on all these young women who've got a vocal range of "whispering." The last few weeks, we've seen a good Kesha song, a good Demi song, and this Kelly Clarkson masterpiece, and I never wanna hear from goddamn Fifth Harmony ever again, not when the standard has been set.

73) "I'll Name the Dogs," by Blake Shelton

one of my favorite tweets of all time said, "would you like some traditional gender rolls? my wife made them while i was at work," and that is all i can think of most days, but also especially while listening to this song. "you find the spot and i'll find the money/you be the pretty and i be the funny." i am too logged on to ever accept this song.

80) "Found You," by Kane Brown

i would like to rescind my interest in kane brown for the time being. "what ifs" was intense, but this is knock-off sam hunt, which is itself akin to store-brand wheat thins. whatever about kane brown's vocal work on "what ifs" has completely vanished, he sort of rotates between three notes, and the lyrics are completely devoid of character, it's just, "it would have been sad if we never dated" over The Electric Drum Beat. i expected better, sir, but i hope you can be better.

81) "Gucci Gang," by Lil Pump

...Well, at least I only had to waste two minutes of my life listening to The Trap Song. At some point, these songs will be four measures long and instead of lyrics they'll just make the fun trill noises. Honestly, the trill noises? Very good. I love dudes are just going "brr!" and rolling their rs.

85) "No Limit," by G-Eazy ft./A$AP Rocky & Cardi B

You know what I like about Cardi B? This is G-Eazy's song, but Cardi B comes on the track to say, "Put a white boy on a song, I might turn G-Eazy out." In Cardi B's mind, this is her song, and while this is not Kendrick on "Control," given how awful G-Eazy's verse and how cringey Rocky's hook is, I'm willing to believe it. Still, I'm really excited for Cardi B as she increases in power and becomes more and more able to take songs from the main artist. But not this one, I don't wanna listen to this song again, it's super bad.

98) "Pills and Automobiles," by Chris Brown ft./Yo Gotti, A Boogie Wit da Hoodie & Kodak Black

Yeah, I'm all good on hearing about the things Chris Brown does in cars.

99) "Let Me Go," by Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso ft./Florida Georgia Line & watt

We've given the song from the Amazon ad about a dog that wishes it could interact with the baby a lot of guff, but at least I had a reaction to it, which is more than I can say for this song. Why are there so many people on this track? How did Florida Georgia Line even get here? What did they add to this song that literally any other male singer couldn't? A second, even more useless voice? Who is watt? Am I supposed to know who watt is already? This song is dumb. I'm going to listen to "Love So Soft" fifty times.

Who won the week?

I mean. No one? 1997 was all boring, 2007 had a very good song and an ok song (Cassidy made the third-best song I heard this week. Cassidy), and 2017 has an incredible song, and then I listened to things that weren’t good for an hour. I think 2017′s gonna get it because “Love So Soft” is a lock for the top ten, whereas “Good Life” probably doesn’t make the Top 20, jubilant and lovely as it is. So basically “Love So Soft” is Kevin Garnett on the Timberwolves, just dragging a bunch of scrublords into the playoffs.

1993: 13 2007: 12 2017: 13

Next week, 1997 presents us with Aaliyah, Fiona Apple, and everyone’s favorite way to fulfill the Rule of Three: The Kinleys! 2007 responds with James Blunt, so, y’know, that’s gonna be something we have to spend time thinking about. And 2017 will give us a sassy young woman belting over horns, a tropical beat from a DJ of note, a trap song with a thousand trills, Latin pop IF WE’RE LUCKY, a song by a member of One Direction, and content from a shitheel.

[leupagus]

An actual request for y’all: SUMMER ALBUM SEARCH

So every summer since I was in high school I’ve had a Summer Album — a CD (or, yes, way back in yonder days of yore, a CASSETTE TAPE) that I’d play over and over and over. Examples include TLC’s “CrazySexyCool,” (1995) Ani DiFranco’s “Dilate” (1996), Bruce Springsteen’s “The Rising” (2002), Bitter:Sweet’s “The Mating Game” (2009), Walk The Moon’s “Talking Is Hard” (2015) and last year it was Roo Panes’s “Paperweights.”

I thought it’d be fun to find out what y’all would recommend for 2017′s Summer Album; I haven’t been listening to much new music and I really would like to get a better range of stuff. 

So here are the rules! 

(Yes, there are rules. Otherwise life is a chaotic void of meaningless suffering.)

It has to be an album — not five separate songs from an artist, but an album that was released in one go.

That being said, it can be two albums from the same artist — for example, Aimee Mann’s “I’m With Stupid” and “Whatever” were my 2000 Summer Albums; likewise Feist’s “Let It Die” and “Reminder” were my 2008 Summer Albums.

It does not matter what the release date was — a number of my Summer Albums are from the same year, but I have also had Summer Albums that were from 5, 15, 50 years before (see: 1999′s Ella Fitzgerald’s “The Decca Recordings” [also a multiple-album exception but it’s Ella and I will fight you]).

It has to be an album from one performer or group — if you rec me “Now That’s What I Call Music 187″ or “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 13 Soundtrack” I will come to your house and explain to you my passions.

There’s no restrictions on any type of music, I am dead serious. I do tend to favor the yodeling ovary (as my friends put it) but if your favorite album of all time is something from Babymetal or Garth Brooks, rec it to me. I want to at least try it out.

This is also a rule but it’s one that you can’t possibly follow, because you don’t have access to my music library: it’s got to be something I haven’t heard before, or have only heard the single from it before. Which will weed out some but I suspect not that many albums, bc I am not that musically literate. But I will still list these recs and maybe put an asterisk next to them or something.

MOST IMPORTANT RULE: the album can only have one (or two at most) dud songs. I don’t want any of this “well here are three really great songs on this album, but the other 8 are junk” nonsense; you have to be able to enjoy or at least defend every single song on there. The whole point of the Summer Album is that it’s something you can put on repeat and you’re not constantly skipping through the shitty songs.

And finally: not a rule but a heartfelt request: tell me why you’re recommending this album, what the album means to you, what are your favorite songs on it, etc. What makes this album important? Or special, or just a really fun listen? I want your opinions about this.

Send me your recs here and I will start compiling a list; I’m gonna reblog this request for a few weeks and hopefully get a few dozen recs (seriously, I want LOTS of recommendations ok? Feel free to make multiple recs) so that I can listen to as much shit as possible, and I’ll put everyone’s recs into a list in case anyone else is interested in some potential Summer Albums.

So let’s go people I NEED ME SOME JAMZ