#maybe this is just what happens as you get old but there are people my age who do 'get' current music so it also may be just me
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ctrl-alt-tahu · 2 days ago
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So, I finished reading this post right as the alarm went off for me to make supper, and if that alarm hadn't gone off, it would probably have been subsumed in "the Scroll," but instead it had a chance to really sit and stew while I was cooking and putting the dishes away and...
I am fond of Fiddler on the Roof. I grew up with it, because we lived too far out of the city to get over-the-air TV and my parents didn't spring for cable or satellite. Instead, I grew up with videos, and because my mom loved the musicals of her childhood (think: Rodgers and Hammerstein--she was born in 1961), this was one of them.
I'm not Jewish at all. To borrow a phrase from my favourite author, "I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people." Indeed, I grew up sufficiently far from urban centers that I don't know of having ever met anyone Jewish until after I left high school. My experience of Judaism was exclusively filtered through the Christian Bible and media--so Fiddler on the Roof was arguably rather important.
Certainly, I didn't understand what was going on the way someone Jewish would--I was the Catholic in-law in the earlier posts. And, as kids go, I was non-American enough and nerdy enough to have some interest in history, so I eventually had some idea what a pogrom, but I didn't get it; I didn't see the whole movie as a horror story. But I did recognise that it was a downer ending. I couldn't have articulated why, probably because I didn't see what a Jewish viewer did through the first parts of the film. But the ending did cast a shadow back over it. If nothing else, it yanked a the film from being a comedic set in la-la-land firmly back into reality. It kind of worked, if you didn't know what the Jewish viewers know, like the abrupt end of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but backwards.
I haven't thought too much about Fiddler in the intervening score of years, but if I did, it was sort of through that lens of being a kid and of it taking place "a thousand years ago" (rounding). Like, I sort of knew it had really happened... ish... to real people, but it wasn't something I thought about.
But now?
I'm still not Jewish (sorry--though I have been tempted). But I understand more than I understood as a preteen. Maybe it's the resurgence of Czarist Russia in the early 2020s... maybe it's the "rise of Fascism" vibe of the current "roaring" 20s... I don't know, but it doesn't feel like real life "back then." It feels like real life right now.
I'm absolutely floored that it's supposed to be set in 1905. This is what churned around in my butter-tub of a head putting away the dishes. As a kid, I had thought it set about 1880. I don't know why and I don't know what difference that 25 years would make--the last 25 years have flown by way too fast--but it made the difference I guess in my head that Fiddler was a period piece to me, rather than something "20th century."
The movie was released in 1971. That means a 10 year-old kid in 1905 was only 76. A 20-year-old (say... Tevye's daughter), would have only been in her mid-80s. In other words, the pogroms were in living memory.
(As an aside, the nearness of history shouldn't shock me, but it constantly does. In this case, it really shouldn't shock me. My own non-Russian great-grandparents were ALSO fleeing Russia in the 1900/1910s. I even sort of knew that as a kid. I just... didn't put it together.)
The tsarist pogroms are out of living memory now--barely. I don't think I ever really thought about what the end of living memory meant, but in my lifetime, living memory has ended for a few things (not all of them serious): the Victorian era and WWI, for example, and now we're fast going to see more things pass. All of which is to say that all things I and my generation assumed because we grew up "in living memory of" can't be assumed.
The span from the pogroms to today isn't even two lifetimes, but it only takes one to forget.
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Dear God, did you have to send me news like that, today of all days? I know, I know we are The Chosen People, but once in awhile, can't you choose someone else?
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lostinlovingrevery · 3 days ago
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Thinking about old man Logan struggling to… get it up with reader and he gets all insecure 😭😭
It's Natural
Old Man Logan X F! Reader
Logan has some trouble getting his one eyed trouser snake to wake up
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A/N: I was giggling writing this. also my search history has really become awful and weird since i started writing fics.
Warnings: SMUT MDNI, Allusions to sex, Logan can't get it up, Logan being extremely dramatic, peepee touching(blowjobs people, blowjobs), did you know men can orgasm and/or ejaculate without an erection? Greek god punishments mentioned lol, a lil fluff, I put F but this actually could be gender neutral!
Huh....So this is what it feels like
Logan avoided your sympathetic gaze.
"It's okay baby-"
His face burned hotter.
"It's natural"
He scoffed.
Your arms wrapped around his waist as you hugged him from behind, your chest, pressed into his firm back, you gave him a squeeze. He moved to stand up from the bed, but you held onto him.
Why, why does God have to keep playing this cruel joke on him? Is this his punishment for his sins?
He rather be cast down by lightning.
Let the pits of hell open up and swallow him whole. Give him punishments fit for the Greeks. He'll gladly let himself be bound, where an Eagle will eat his liver every day; He'll push the damn rock up the mountain only for it to roll back down, and repeat; put him on a fiery wheel, spinning through the sky.
Anything
Anything but this.
He used to laugh at men who were in a position that he has found himself in. A bit of arrogance from aging and never having an issue before. He didn't believe he was invincible, he just thought maybe his body would give out before he would have to worry about a problem like this.
In fact his younger self was always full of piss and vinegar. His stamina unmatched. His refractory period just mere seconds after coitus.
It's not like you didn't get to experience that with him.
You've had to beg him to slow down before. He held a certain pride in being able to make a pretty young thing like you out of breath. Bury himself in you over and over, playfully taunting you because you couldn't keep up with an old man like him. He reveled in your whines and praises.
He never thought that you'd have to experience this, with him.
"You're making it a big deal." You say softly, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
"Because it is." He snapped turning his head towards you.
"You're just tired. You've been overworking yourself baby." You rested your head on his shoulder as you hugged him. He tensed up. "It happens."
"Not to me." He grumbles sitting up from the bed. The mattress creaked from his weight disappearing.
"Lo." You sigh, dropping your arms in your lap as you watch him walk across the room, nude, reaching for his coat as he pulled out an cigar and his lighter from the inner pocket.
You admired his form. Muscular, hairy, fuck how could you not? He was sculpted, every curve, every divot, every muscle, made your mouth water.
He wouldn't look at you while he smoked, brows creased in frustration as he dragged himself deeper into a pit of self-hatred. A cloud of cigar smoke hazed the room and made you a little light-headed.
You had been fooling around. Logan came home early tonight, claiming he missed you. He was all over you, kissing and touching and you were loving it. One by one your clothes were yanked off - Logan had nearly ripped your pants off you - again.
Course time went on and you were becoming more eager for the main course- not that you didn't love the foreplay. You noticed Logan's frustrations as he kept grinding and kissing you. Before he finally pulled himself off you, shame in his face, and a glance downwards told you what you needed to know.
It really didn't bother you. Of course it didn't! You loved him. Things happen. He was already older than an average man, and to be honest his libido had surprised you at his age.
No words were going to making him feel better.
Fuck it, stiffy or not, he's your man, and you wanted him.
You climbed off the bed where he was leaning against the creaky old dresser you had thrifted from a local shop.
"Lo." You say, and his eyes only glanced at you for a second before glancing away. "If you're going to be like that, then I'll just do it myself."
Logan looked at you, a small bewilderment across his face as you dropped to your knees. You took his flaccid member into your hand, and began stroking him. Slowly and gently.
"Jesus-" His breath hitched. "Baby what are you doing?"
"Lo..." You hummed, looking up at him with a sinful smile, you leaned forward, playfully tapping his cock against your lips. "I want you. Okay?"
He watched in surprise, as you took him in between your lips, swirling your tongue over his tip. His stomach tensed, and flexed, as his lips parted as he watched you take him in between your lips.
Fucking hell
He tipped his head back, the feeling of your tongue swirling over his soft cock was different. You acted no difference from him being hard or soft though, taking him down your throat, bobbing your head over him. Your spit soaked his cock
Your hand came up to fondle his balls, gently squeezing and groping them, as your other hand ran soothingly up and down his thigh.
Just when he thought he couldn't love you more
The humiliation was there still. Yet every suck, pop, and lick as you worked over him pushed it farther and farther away. You devoured him as he were desirable.
A deep moan reverberated from you, and that was the nail in the coffin for him.
A hard grunt escaped him as his shoulders lurched forward and his hand dug into your hair, gripping you as he pushed himself further down your throat making you gag. His cum coming out in short, hot spurts.
His chest heaved, and he tipped his head back.
Not quite as powerful as normal orgasm, but as he looked down at you, it didn't matter.
You stood up, wiping your lips of spit and cum before leaning forward to kiss him, your arms wrapped around his waist.
"See? No biggie." You smile up at him.
He observed with you fascination.
"I love you. In every way." You reassured him, pecking his lips again.
The both of you stopped, surprise on your face as your felt something hard on your hip. He raised his brows as he looked down at you, a faint grin growing across his face. You hummed, leaning in to brush your lips over his, his arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace.
"Well, Bonjour Monsieur"
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moody-alcoholic · 2 days ago
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Sub Ala Angeli
Part 5 - Miracle Worker
Summary: Ghoap x fallen angel!reader, mini fic. Sub ala angeli - Under the wing of an angel.
CW: suggestive content, intimate touching, mention/talk about death, near death experience.
Previous - masterlist - next
Enjoy <3
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Johnny leads you down the main street, you walk past all kinds of different stores. There are plenty of people around too, sometimes you get the glimpse of other angels, guardian angels following people around. 
Johnny leads you into a store, a bell rings and an old woman behind a counter smiles. 
“John, Simon, it’s nice to see you again.” She says she has a strong accent like Johnny. 
“Miss McBaine.” John says bouncing over to the counter.
“Mary please. Who is your friend?” She asks looking over at you. 
“Angel.” Johnny says. 
“Pretty name.” She gushes. You smile at her, something feels wrong. You look round the store, it’s filled with clothes. Johnny lets go of your hand and you go over to a hanger of fluffy looking jumpers. Your hand runs over them as you hear Simon come up behind you. 
Johnny is still talking with Mary, you just can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. 
“What do you think?” Simon asks. You run your hands down the arms. 
“Anything I get we have to cut the back off.” You say letting go of the jumper. 
“Guess it was easier when you didn’t have to wear anything.” He says. You nod thinking back to the angels you’ve seen on Earth, they’ve all been covered in some way, shape or form. Loose fitting flowy robes. Or light shines off them so bright you can’t make out any features on their body. 
Simon takes you over to get some pants and shoes though, you pick what's comfy and Simon recommends other things. You hear Johnny still talking, the occasional laugh fills the store. It makes you smile. 
Maybe you’re just being paranoid, it was probably the cryptic warning the angel gave you. Simon brings some shirts over, everything is oversized so you can cut a hole in the back. When you go over to take a look at dresses theres a sudden chill in the air.
Simon feels it too, you watch him shudder, goosebumps rise over your body. Dread pools in your stomach. 
“Feels like someone’s just walked over my grave.” You hear Mary say. You swallow hard looking over at her and Johnny talking by the counter. 
You reach out for Simon’s arm as her angel appears next to her. 
“Simon. I think something bad is going to happen.” He frowns at you for a second then looks over at Johnny and Mary. You turn back to look. It’s like the scene before you is muted, the temperature of the shop drops. 
Things happen quickly, Mary slumps against the counter. Johnny straightens up, Simon is already moving as Johnny reaches over the counter to try and help her. The silence of the room is broken by the gentle humming of her angel. It makes you feel sick, you know that tune. 
She’s going to die.
You walk over to them. Simon is bent down by her head, you watch as the angel stands over her. 
“Ambulance Johnny.” Simon’s voice brakes through the humming. Your heart is pounding in your chest. 
“You’re going to let her die?” You ask the angel in your head. They look over at you and smile. They can’t do anything, you know what they’re feeling you’ve been here before. You look down at Simon, he’s hands are pressing on her chest. 
You feel your fingers start to tingle, you could save her. You can save her, you have to believe. You walk over to them, Johnny is on the phone, you ignore him focusing on the tune the angel is humming. 
You bend down by her side, Simon looks up at you. “Let me.” You say placing your hand on his. You look up at him. He looks confused but he stops, moving his hands away. You place your hands on her chest. 
There’s no heartbeat, it feels wrong. You remember feeling Johnny’s hand under yours, for a second it feels like your own heart skips a beat. This could be him, if the warnings are true, you could end up in this same position only with him below you. 
You close your eyes and let out a breath. The angel stops humming. You’ve only ever done this once before. On a child, not a fully grown person. You concentrate putting all your energy into praying for her heart to beat again. Your hands feel warm, your energy, your lifeforce being transferred from you into her. 
You pray, pray for her to live, it feels like you’re willing the life back into her. You can feel yourself getting weaker, your head starts to swim, it’s becoming harder to concentrate. You don’t want to give up though, you won’t give up. 
You feel a warm hand on your shoulder, you get a sudden burst of energy. The feeling of dread goes away, the weakness subsides and you feel calm, a warm feeling travels through you. When you feel her heart beat again you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. 
“Thank you.” You hear the angel say. Their warm hand leaves your shoulder along with the feeling of calm. You open your eyes looking over at Simon, you sit back on your knees, and smile at him as it feels like all your energy has just been pulled out of you. 
Simon presses her fingers into Mary’s neck, he looks up at you shocked. You turn to her angel stood by her head. 
“John is very lucky to have you watching over him.” They say. 
“I’m not his guardian angel.” You reply. 
“Ambulance is here.” You hear Johnny call as the sound of sirens gets closer. When you turn back the angel is gone. Simon comes over to you wrapping his arms around you and helping you to your feet. You lean against him, your legs wobble, your whole body feels heavy. 
You’re not even paying attention to the random people rushing into the store. Johnny talks to them as Simon takes you out the way over to a chair. As soon as you sit down and lose the support of his arms your head swims and you slump to the side.
“Easy, easy.” He says his arms coming back round you, you lean against him. You straighten up as best as you can. You grit your teeth, you have to keep your wing hidden. 
“Simon,” you breathe. He looks down at you as he pulls you tighter against him. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this for.” 
“C’mon,” he says, helping you to your feet. You can still feel a chill in the air. You lean against him, Johnny sees you moving and comes over to you. 
“What happened? Are you okay?” He asks, his hand coming to rub your arm. You nod and it makes your head swim. 
“We’re going to the car, how much longer do you think you’ll be?” Simon asks, Johnny quickly looks back at the paramedics loading Mary onto a stretcher. 
“Not long.” Johnny says. “I just have to get someone to mind the store, call her daughter.” 
She’s alive, you did that, you broke the rules again. And you’ll do it again if you need to, especially for Johnny or Simon. As Simon guides you out the store people are coming over to look. Small town, probably the biggest thing that’s happened in a while. By the time you make it to the car you can barely keep it together. 
“Si-” his name catches in your throat.
“Almost there, c’mon you can make it.” He encourages you, hitching you up against him while he fishes his pocket for the key. You grit your teeth using the last of your energy to grip onto him while he opens the door. 
Black spots flash across your vision. Simon turns you sitting you down in the back of the car, you can’t hide your wing anymore. Lucky Simon is blocking anyone from being able to see in. Simon’s hands rest on on your shoulders holding you up. You hear the door open behind you.
“I got her.” You hear Johnny say pulling you back against him. Simon picks your legs, putting them in the car, and closing the door. You shiver as Johnny wraps his arms around you. 
“She’ll be okay.” You say. 
“Will you be okay?” Johnny asks. You don’t know what to say, you've never felt like this before. You feel tired, your body is heavy, you can’t keep your eyes open. 
“I won’t let anything happen to you Johnny.” You say as your breathing slows. 
“What's that love?” Johnny asks, he shakes your shoulders, it jolts you and you look over at Simon in the front seat. He looks worried, you smile at him as you relax further against Johnny. 
“She’ll be okay.” you repeat closing your eyes. 
___
You think you’re in a dream, for the first time ever. You wake up back in heaven, it’s just not quite right though. It’s like you’re there but not there, the colours are faded and the sounds are muted, you're not quite sure how you got here. There are angels all around you, Archangels and Seraphims. 
You’re in the judgment hall, towering gold and iridescent structures surround the massive space. In the center there’s a collection of other angels, messengers, other guardian angels all watching you as the higher angels decide your fate. 
You hear doors open behind you, you turn to see two angels come out and stand behind you. 
“Judgment has been decided.” One of the Seraphims says, their voice echoing round the space. You’re holding your breath. All you can think about is Mary, her lifeless body under your hands. 
“Take the other wing.” One of the Seraphims says. You feel sick, tears start rolling down your face. You need your wing, you can’t protect Johnny if you lose one more thing that makes you who you are. 
“What about Johnny?” You ask, stepping forward. You hear mumbles rise up.
“You sealed his face by saving the woman.” The same Seraphim says. 
“No!” You shout lunging forward. Arms grab you pulling you back and forcing you to your knees. It hurts sending shooting pains up your legs. You hear the growl of a dog. 
“Please save him!” You plead. “Send me to hell, take my wing but please spare him!” You’re begging, sobbing at them. You know it’s not going to change anything you know it’s not going to make them think any different. You fight out the grip of the angels holding you and rush forward. 
“I love him! Simon loves him!” You’ll destroy them both!” You shout between sobs. The Seraphim turns back to look at you as your arms are pulled back again. To your surprise they fly down. You’ve never seen one so close to you before. They’re bigger than you ever thought they were, their 6 wings make them look even larger. 
“You’re an angel, you know nothing of love.” They spit, there’s emotion in their voice, anger, disgust. 
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” You say to them. Their eyes widen and they float away from you. 
“Take the wing!” They shout. You smile up at them as you hear the patter of the hellhound's feet rushing towards you.
You let out a scream as its teeth sink into your flesh. 
Your body jolts up, you look around franticly. You’re in their house, their bed, you look out the windows, it's dark now. Your body is covered in a layer of sweat, your heart is pounding rapidly in your chest. It feels like you can’t catch your breath. 
You panic, pulling your wing round holding it in your arms. You let out a sigh of relief stroking down the feathers. You swing your legs out the bed throwing the duvet back and stand up letting your wing go and pressing it back against you. 
Now you need to see Johnny, you need to make sure he’s safe. You walk out the bedroom, you can see them on the sofa Johnny laid in Simon's arms. As soon as they hear you Johnny gets up to his feet coming over to you. 
You feel tears forming in your eyes as you rush over to him, throwing your arms and wing around him, pulling him against you as you sob into his chest. 
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. What’s wrong?” His hands rub your back. You pull your face off his chest sniffling. 
“I had one of those dreams, it felt so real.” You say looking up at him. His hands come up to your face, his thumbs brushing your cheeks. He leans down to kiss you, it feels good, safe. He’s gentle, his hands brushing your cheeks as the tears escape. You break from the kiss as a sob rises in your throat. 
“Come sit, talk to us.” Johnny says, you nod, dropping your wing and following him to the sofa. You sit in between them. Simon’s hand lands on your back while Johnny rubs your thigh. 
“What happened today. With Mary?” Johnny asks. 
“I don’t know how to describe it.” You say hanging your head. 
“Can you bring people back from the dead?” Simon asks. 
“No, but if we’re quick enough, and have help, like today. We can essentially stop death.” You explain. 
“Help?” Johnny asks. 
“Mary’s guardian angel helped me. I wouldn’t have been able to save her on my own.” You say.
“How?” Simon asks. You look up at him.
“The energy angels have, we can channel it, use it to bless people or heal people. Normally just cuts and bruises, It’s only in very specific circumstances we can use it to- for example- restart a heart.” You let out a sigh, you still feel exhausted. “If we use too much energy it will kill us.” 
“I thought you were immortal.” Johnny says.
“Immortal not invincible.” You say. Johnny squeezes your thigh. It feels good calming, just like Simon’s hand rubbing your lower back. 
“You saved her life. She’s going to be okay.” Johnny says. You look up at him and smile. 
“What was your dream about?” Simon asks. 
“They were taking my other wing for saving her, like I saved the kid I was ordered to watch over.” You say leaving out the part about Johnny. It doesn’t work though. 
“You were mumbling in your sleep. You called out for Johnny.” Simon says. 
“In the car, you said you wouldn't let anything happen. Is something going to happen?” Johnny asks. You look between them. You feel a lump rise in your throat. Everything in your body is telling you not to tell them. 
Maybe telling them will ruin it. You remember what the Seraphim shouted at you in your dream ‘you sealed his fate.’ You open your mouth but you can’t think of an excuse. Whatever you were going to say is replaced with a sob and you throw your face in your hands. 
“I met Johnny’s guardian angel. They warned me you’re going to die.” His grip tightens on your leg, Simon’s hand stops rubbing your back. You look up at Johnny, there’s worry in his eyes. “They told me to save you. When we went to the town, another angel warned me that your fate isn’t sealed. They told me to protect you.” 
You don’t expect them to say anything, Simon lets out a sigh and his hand runs over your missing wing. It sends chills down your spine. 
“How-” You watch Johnny swallow. “How will it happen?”
“I don’t know. I can’t see the future, no one can.” You say. 
“So how do you know he’s going to die?” Simon asks, there’s an edge in his voice
“We can’t see the future. We’re told the information we need to know.” You say. 
“Did they say when it would happen?” Johnny asks. 
“They said a week.” You reply solemnly. His hand comes up to pull your chin to look at him. He smiles, tipping his head and kisses you. 
“Nothing bad is going to happen.” He says brushing his lips with your thumb. 
“But-” 
“No. You saved a life today, you’re a miracle worker. You said my fate is not sealed.” He looks over at Simon quickly then back to you. “That means I have a chance.” You nod. 
Simon’s arms come back around you pulling you against him. You stretch your wing out wrapping it over the back of the sofa and around Johnny who shuffles into it running his hand over the tip. 
He smiles at you and leans against it. He reaches down and pulls your legs up over his thighs. Simon's arm wraps over your chest. 
“It’s going to be okay.” Simon says as he presses a kiss on the back of your head. 
“We’ve faced worse odds and come out on the other side.” Johnny says. You believe them, at the same time you don’t know what might happen, Johnny rubs your leg. You can feel Simon’s heart beating against your back.
You don’t mean to fall asleep but sleep comes anyway. You feel Johnny stroking the feathers of your wing resting round his shoulder.
You’ll keep him safe, you’ll keep them both safe. 
“Johnny.” Simon whispers. He turns to see you sleeping in Simon's arms. “It’s going to be okay.” 
“I know.” He replies looking back at the TV. 
“Want me to call the cavalry?” Simon asks. 
“Yeah,” Johnny scoffs. “And tell them what? Hey Gaz, you’ll never believe this; an angel landed in our backyard and told me I’m going to die in a week.” 
“Johnny.” Simon sighs. “What does that book of yours say about fate?” 
“Everything is already written.” He says. 
“Sounds like bullshit.” Simon replies, tightening his grip around you.
“Up until a few days ago you didn’t believe in anything.” He reminds him, running his hand through your feathers. 
“I believe we make our own fates.” Simon says. 
“Let’s go to bed.” Johnny says turning the tv off.
“What about her?” Simon asks as Johnny stands, your wing goes limp and your snuggle further against Simon’s chest. 
“I can pull the bed out?” Johnny asks. Simon looks down at you brushing the hair out your eyes. 
“No, let’s bring her to bed with us.” Simon says. 
“You sure?” Johnny asks. Simon’s already moving, pulling you up in his arms. Johnny smiles, going to help him tucking your wing over Simon’s shoulder. He follows close behind, watching as Simon carries you through to the bedroom. Your chin rested on his shoulder, legs hanging round his waist. 
“Maybe she can talk to heaven or something?” Johnny says. 
“If she could, do you think they would listen?” Simon asks, walking round to Johnny’s side of the bed. Johnny doesn’t say anything, Simon lays you on your stomach, pulling the duvet over you. Simon sighs, coming over to Johnny and wrapping his arm round his waist. 
“I’ll lock up. You get into bed.” Simon says, pressing a kiss into his neck. 
“Don’t take too long.” Johnny replies. Simon smiles and leaves the room. Johnny changes scooting into bed next to you. You’re completely passed out again, your body is like a lead weight has he moves you a little giving Simon more room to lay next to him. 
Simon comes back, turning the hallway light off and closing the door to the bedroom behind him. Johnny watches as he pulls his clothes off in the dark then crawls into bed wrapping his arms around him and pulling him up on his chest. 
“Johnny.” 
“Yeah?” 
“Hell will freeze over before I let anything happen to you.” Simon says his hand coming up to stroke Johnny’s cheek. “God will have to come down here himself and get you.” 
“It’s going to be okay. We have our own guardian angel.” Johnny says, wrapping his arm round Simon’s waist pulling him against him. Simon hums leaning over to kiss him. Johnny’s fingers dig into his waist. Johnny hums in his mouth moving one of his hands round to the front of Simon’s boxers. 
Simon pulls away from the kiss. “We’re not alone Johnny.” Johnny hums wrapping his hand round Simon’s cock feeling it twitch in his hand. 
“You’re all pent up.” Johnny whispers his lips brushing Simon’s. Before Johnny can go any further you turn behind him. He feels your arm slip over him. He freezes looking up at Simon as your wing stretches, resetting over them both. 
He feels the heat coming off the wing, he moves his hand back over to Simon’s waist. 
“I love you Si. We’ll figure it out.” Johnny says, pulling himself against Simon’s chest. 
“Yeah we will. I love you too Johnny.” He replies, kissing his forehead. Johnny smiles hearing Simon’s heart beat against his ear and the warmth of your wing covers them all. He doesn’t feel fear, worry, he doesn’t feel anything. Just the warmth of your wing and his husband's arms.
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matchalovertrait · 2 days ago
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An intimate talk under the stars.
Start from the beginning (Gen 2)
Previous | Next
[Once they arrived at the park, Dulce and Antonio changed into a fresh pair of clothes. Running around in skintight costumes all night was NOT comfortable! They wouldn’t recommend it.]
[They also took this time to catch their breath. The crisp air felt rejuvenating while they embraced the comfortable silence, taking in the crazy night they had. What an insane idea. But they did it. Together.]
[After a few minutes, Dulce cleared her throat.]
DULCE: ..Antonio. I want to say I appreciate you for doing this with me. I know it was ridiculous. You’ve already helped me a lot, and I can’t thank you enough for it.
[Antonio shifted with discomfort.]
ANTONIO: Don’t thank me just yet. We haven’t won the case.
DULCE: Many things could’ve gone wrong, though.
ANTONIO: Technically they did... but we got through them, right? And we got the notebook.
DULCE: We did!!
[Dulce took out her notebook and flipped through the pages in awe.]
DULCE: I wish I could see the look on Caruso’s face once he realizes the notebook is gone.
[The “security”, Caruso, and Isabela should be able to put two and two together. Dulce and Antonio knew that. However, Caruso and Isabela had no proof. The Operation Fox team covered their tracks, and Matthew was able to erase any surveillance camera footage once the power came back on.]
[She looked up at Antonio with a soft smile.]
ANTONIO: I’ll guard that notebook with my life when I take it for the ink dating in the morning.
DULCE: I almost didn’t take it when I was in his room because I felt bad... We’re kind of the same.
ANTONIO: What do you mean?
DULCE: Maybe his video about me was some weird karmic stuff for the Alto exposé video I made. Maybe Caruso is just me as a man and I deserve what I got.
ANTONIO: You’re mistaken. You’re a lot smarter than Caruso. In your video, you didn’t give any names and you were very vague. Quite impressive if you ask me. How old were you? About 16? 17?
DULCE: Around there.
ANTONIO: Second of all, you have more love in your heart. It’s that simple.
ANTONIO: Alright. Picture this: Alfonso Alto watches your video. He laughs but is secretly freaking out. What if people start suspecting his shady business? He contacts his legal team to try to stop you.
ANTONIO: They rewatch your video repeatedly in an attempt to find something to sue you for—which, by the way, only adds onto your view count—but, they have nothing. Absolutely nothing. He’s furious to have been outsmarted by a teen girl. Things lead to another and he’s in prison all because of one video.
[Dulce nodded. Antonio would know from experience.]
DULCE: Hm, yeah.
ANTONIO: Think about all the lives you probably saved too. Caruso can’t live up to that. That’s probably why he’s so vengeful.
DULCE: ..Speaking of which, what about you and Isabela? Is she a vengeful ex-girlfriend of yours?
[Antonio waved his hand in dismissal.]
ANTONIO: Absolutely not.
ANTONIO: Actually, she hates me because I turned her down.
DULCE: What??
ANTONIO: We used work closely as interns at the same firm. We had to. Along the way, she somehow developed feelings for me. When she asked me out, I declined. I explained to her that I’m dedicated to my work. I don’t have time or energy for love.
[Dulce’s heart dropped.]
ANTONIO: I thought she took it well. Then, she started screwing me over in subtle ways. She would provide me with incorrect deadlines or “forget” to tell me about important calls.
ANTONIO: I couldn’t say anything. Isabela was untouchable because her uncle was a senior attorney at the firm. When my internship ended and I looked for jobs, many places rejected me because I received a bad reputation.
DULCE: I’m sorry that happened to you. Isabela’s a witch for doing that.
ANTONIO: It all worked out. I’m fortunate that the firm I work at now took a chance on me. I get to do what I love. And that place has allowed me to meet some incredible people.
DULCE: ..Sometimes I think about possible alternate timelines. “What if I didn’t do that?” or “What if I had done this instead?” ..Maybe I would be in a more fortunate situation.. but maybe I wouldn’t have experienced the good things in this timeline.
ANTONIO: Like what?
[The two looked up at the starry night.]
DULCE: Like adopting Cosi! Caruso was the one who insisted we get a dog on that day, actually. Maybe someone else would’ve taken her.
DULCE: Okay, your turn to name something.
ANTONIO: Hm..... One time I broke my leg. If I didn’t have all that spare time to watch movies, maybe I wouldn’t have found out I like Star Wars. Your turn.
DULCE: I got lost in the city once. If I didn’t make a wrong turn, I wouldn’t have run into the person selling the refurbished iMac G3. I love it! Your turn.
[Suddenly, the two of them turned to face each other at the same time. They hadn’t realize the closing distance between them.]
ANTONIO: I..
DULCE: I think we should leave. Isabela and Caruso could be out looking for us right now.
ANTONIO: Yeah, and it’s getting late.
DULCE: Mhm.
ANTONIO: C’mon. Let’s get you home.
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knight-a3 · 3 days ago
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Hazbin Masterpost
Heavenbound Masterpost
Sera, high radiant seraphim
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I wanted angels to look more human. The whole "biblically accurate angels" thing is not quite as biblically accurate as you probably think.
More under the cut
This gets into some theology. So, I wanted heaven to be more human, since God created man in his own image, and it works best with the lore I am building. It just gives a more heavenly vibe when the angels aren't some creature-things. I want heaven to feel heavenly, okay?
Clothes: I changed her outfit, because the canon one is a bit too complicated and I didn't understand the construction of it. So I did something that's easier for me to understand. It's overall more animation friendly, and that pleases me.
Halo: I have specific ideas about halos. They denote the type and rank of angel they are. Seraphim have two silver ring halos. I haven't decided if I want to make her one of the Seven Heavenly Virtues (the Elder Seraphim) or just the head of the Radiant Seraphim(the broader rank of seraphim). Either could work. But if she's a virtue, I'd need to make a small change to her halo, as per my own lore rules.
Wings: I've decided to give seraphim wings with three sets(six total) of primary feathers, instead of six entirely separate wings. Mostly because I do not want to draw that many wings nor figure out the anatomy of it. It mimics the six-winged look while being easier for me to wrap my head around and draw. I also just like the look better.
They can also be summoned and dismissed at will, because I don't want to have to draw them all the time. It's a cop out, but I will do it.
--Biblically Accurate Angels--
"Biblically accurate" is not quite what most people think. Y'all are like, "biblically accurate angels are crazy looking eyeball and wing monstrosities, no wonder people were scared!" But that's literally not what the bible says.
Angel means "messenger", and they often appear as regular-looking people. Sometimes they have a "countenance of lightning" and "raiment white as snow". Jesus was once described(post-resurrection) as having feet of molten bronze(the molten part is the key: it's literally white-hot, not brown) and hair as wool(specifically referring to the color, not texture, and the commonly associated color is white). These are descriptions of glowing.
The crazier depictions tend to happen in visions or dreams, too. It's likely they were symbolic descriptions rather than literal. That the individual components had a cultural connotation that implied something about them. Many eyes symbolized constant watchfulness, for example. I mean, we sometimes describe an angry person as having fire in their eyes or steam coming out their ears, and that's not literal. We describe a sly person as a snake or a fox, but it's not literal. The book of Revelations and the Old Testament, in particular, use imagery, symbolism, and metaphors A LOT. And things get a little muddy when carried between language, culture, and time. Translation, localization, and modernization are tricky processes.
--Seraphim-- <-Link to some helpful info about this topic, if you're interested in that type of thing.
"Seraph" is a back-formation. It's a singular form of a pre-existing plural word. Seraphim is the plural form. I will probably use seraphs and seraphim interchangeably, so just don't worry about that.
The Hebrew root word "sarap" means something along the lines of "burning". It was often used to refer to snakes (possibly because the venom causes a burning sensation, or maybe as a metaphor for purification). It is only used once to describe a heavenly being, in the book of Isaiah. Every other time, it is translated as "burning ones" or "fiery flying serpent". In Egypt and other surrounding cultures, cobras would be used to symbolize divinity, sovereignty, and royalty. The Hebrews probably adopted the imagery. The seraphim described in the Bible might not even refer to what we typically imagine to be angels.
Long story short; seraphim means fiery flying serpents and symbolize divinity and/or purification.
--Cherubim-- <-Link to more cool info!
While I'm on the topic of the etymology of angels, I might as well address cherubs. Cherubim is the proper plural form, but I will probably use cherubs and cherubim interchangeably as well. Just roll with it, it's fine.
The youthful child depiction possibly comes from some rabbinic folk lore that claims the word is related to the Aramaic term for "like a child" or "youthful", but I'm not sure if that's true.
What I'm seeing most consistently is that they're implied to have wings. It seems commonly accepted that it comes from an Akkadian word meaning, "to bless". One source claims it means "hybrid" or "mount, steed" and refers to winged beasts that the Canaanite sky god would ride. Which would align with the depictions of cherubim as tetrads(a hybrid of four creatures), and/or the use of it as some sort of divine flying chariot.
There are a lot of theories, but nothing concrete. It gets very unclear and I'm not an expert. But I'm incorporating a variety of ideas into my lore, and I think I'm doing good with balancing them.
--
In the end, I'm using the terms seraphim and cherubim to describe ranks of angels, because it's what works best with our current understanding of the words. I'm not going to include the other traditional classes of angels like dominions, thrones, etc, because it's overly complicated, and not actually biblical. I don't want to waste brain power on that. Also, the Bible doesn't actually describe the hierarchy of angels at all. It's not even clear if seraphim and cherubim are supposed to be considered angels.
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sunflowersandsapphires · 2 days ago
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what about Frank with a girl who's a pothead and didn't tell him? one night he just comes home and gets in bed only to see her staring at him all red-eyed, relaxed, and quiet, he'd probably think something's wrong. only if you're comfortable with writing that tho. hope you have a great day!
I hope YOU have a great day, anon! I am absolutely comfortable writing about pot and getting high. I indulge in a legal edible from time to time and it’s lovely to have my brain turn off for once. Headcanons below the cut!!
I think you’re absolutely right that Frank would assume somethings wrong. You’re not acting like yourself and your eyes are all red? He’s rushing to your side, frantically looking you over for signs of injury.
“What happened, you hurt?”
You don’t mean to laugh at his concern, but it’s such an adorable display. Set off in a fit of giggles, you throw your arms over his head. “‘M fine, Frankie. Just high.”
“High? What’d you take, doll?” The explanation does nothing to ease his worries, only making him spiral as he recalls stories about overdoses and laced recreational drugs. It takes you 15 minutes to get him to stop pestering you about where you acquired said drugs.
Once you’ve somewhat convinced him that you’re not gonna keel over and die, he’s in mother hen mode—Scowling profusely as he putters around in the kitchen, pouring you a glass of water and fixing you a protein-filled snack.
“You’re not supposed to eat healthy things while high, Frank!” You whine, rolling your eyes good naturedly as he pushes the celery and peanut butter towards you.
“I’ll remember that for next time. Eat.” He demands, leaving no room for you to object.
You’re hungry enough that you finish the whole plate. You chug 3 glasses of water too, Frank dutifully standing to refill the cup each time you empty it.
He is definitely not happy that you’re willing to indulge in THC without telling him, but I think it could be worked out if you chatted with him about it.
Unfortunately for you and your fuzzy brain, he would not wait until you were sober to have this conversation.
“It’s dangerous, doll. You could get hurt.”
“It’s not as dangerous as people thought 30 years ago, Frank.”
“You callin me old?” The stink eye he gives you has you cracking up.
“Maybe I am, old man.” You tease, snuggling into his side with a happy sigh. “I know you worry, but it makes me feel good, Frank. I feel all, floaty and giggly. Helps me relax.”
As long as it wasn’t shaping up to be an intrusive or unsafe habit, I think he’d eventually come around. But he’d be helicopter boyfriend-ing the entire night every time you indulged 😂
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lozeyart · 2 days ago
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What am I doing in the year of our lord 2025 drawing Junjou Romantica fanart
Goodness me, I got into JJR back in 2008 when the anime aired and then I got into the manga that same year. At the time, I wasn't really drawing people, I was drawing animals, but I was OBSESSED with this yaoi with my whole heart and wanted so badly to draw fanart for it. So now here it is! 17 years in the making! Btw, trying to interpret anime hair logic with my style is easier said than done, but I did my best lol. All just colored sketches and then some scribbles for funsies.
But I definitely have some complicated feelings about this manga/anime. More below the cut (its A LOT, I'm so sorry).
JJR was one of the first yaois I ever got into, and back in 2008 when I didn't realize being gay was an option, this silly little manga/anime felt like an escape for me. Well, it's now 17 years later and upon rereading this manga (I still have volume 1-12, I could never get rid of them, they mean to much to me) I realize that it has aged POORLY.
This yaoi is definitely a product of its time (2002/2003) and it SHOWS. I find myself disappointed in the dynamic between Usagi-san and Misaki and wish that Misaki would show Usagi-san SOME sort of affection outside of the bare minimum (cooking and cleaning for Usagi) and Usagi definitely has some... Issues of his own. Now, I'm an adult, and I can see that consensual non-consent (CNC) can be fun and exciting for a couple (you know, if agreed upon beforehand), and it can be fun for your partner to initiate things out of the blue, but Usagi definitely toes the line of what that is. Now, I know that this was the early 2000s and yaoi relationships tended to have that dynamic (One being the seme who didn't listen to "no" and the uke who said "no" constantly but actually secretly liked what was happening), like I said, this series is definitely a product of its time. But I don't know man, its not fun (for me) reading sex scenes where one of them is constantly telling the other one to stop over and over again. (I also think it'd be cute as fuck if Usagi-san asked Misaki if he could kiss him and Misaki shyly said yes instead of yelling at him like he always does).
I even went online to read up to volume 27, but all I can express is that same disappointment. Misaki rarely even likes to acknowledge that he's in love with Usagi-san, or is dating the man, or even likes him (it seems to be only under duress that he admits these things STILL. IN 2022 when that volume was released!)
I wish there had been more character development in the years since I stopped reading the manga, I wish we could see Misaki and Usagi-san acting like they actually like each other outside of when they have sex (yes there are small moments between the two, and a bickering couple can be a fun dynamic, but dear lord lets shake things up A LITTLE. I'M BEGGING).
Lets not even get started on the sketchyness that is (at the start of the manga) a 28 year old falling in love with an 18 year old (And we're not even going to TALK about Miyagi and Shinobu) -don't bring up the age of consent in Japan, I do NOT wanna hear it-.
Listen, I'm 29, and I would NEVER even DREAM about dating an 18 year old (or 19 year old) at my age. (Fuck, the youngest I'll date is MAYBE 23 but even THATS pushing it for me).
All of that to say is that I still can't help but have an extreme soft spot for this series, and there are still moments that I love from this (Volume 9, the Christmas chapter, am I right? Gets me EVERY time), and fuck, Shungiku Nakamura is probably still making bank with this series so who the fuck am I to say anything lol. I'm just a rando online with an opinion, you don't have to agree, and you can think that whatever Misaki and Usagi have is fuckin' AWESOME. I'm just an old fart
But, I dunno, I think it'd be interesting to explore Misaki's internalized homophobia, and Misaki slowly but surely growing more and more comfortable with not only accepting Usagi-san's affections and even reciprocating and initiating on his own, but also accepting HIMSELF and being happy with who he is instead of the constant self shame he puts himself through for being with a man. Let's be so real, he is gay, he can't stop looking at other attractive men and FAWNING over how hot they are (Nowaki, Todo, Injuin Sensei, the list goes on).
But who am I to complain, I went and drew fanart of these two anyway. Rock, meet glass house.
Unrelated, I love the art style in volume 3-6 a lot because its very "late 90s early 2000s" art and I think the art peaked in volume 9. And now its unpeaking. Bring back Usagi-san's yaoi chin so help me god.
I do have yaoi I prefer over this one a lot more, and involve older couples (which I find that I prefer), and have fun, cute stories. If anyone has read this far and wants those recs, lemme know (dear god I'm so sorry, this has gone on so long.)
Anyway I do want to redraw some of the sex scenes and post it to my bluesky.
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livingdreams97 · 1 day ago
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Jackie Taylor -- "Our Destiny" (Part 1)
Jackie Taylor x Male reader/oc
Summary: What happens when a plane crashes in the middle of the Canadian Wilderness full of teenagers? How something as traumatic as that can affect the people and and how they find comfort in each other.
Words: 6.190
NEXT
Masterlist
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(For the reader I thought of Wolfgang Novogratz, but everyone can imagine reader how they want.)
_________1996__________
Your POV 
I drop the pieces of firewood I've collected into the pile on the ground and sit down on the stump to rest for a bit. I've spent the last three hours walking between the woods and the cabin collecting firewood non-stop, and I need a break.
From my vantage point, I can see what some of the girls are doing and I sit there for a moment watching them. Things are a bit tense lately, some of the girls are acting a bit weird and especially Lottie.
After what happened at the Seance a few weeks ago, I've noticed that Lottie has been a bit quieter, more withdrawn and distracted, as if she were in her own world.
This worries me a lot, because I don't know if her behavior could be due to the lack of medication or something else. It's the first time since she was diagnosed that she has gone so long without taking her medication and I don't know what the consequences of this could be.
Taissa: Hey.- she greets me standing next to me. -I've been thinking about something and I want to know if you'd like to join me.- she tells me and I focus my gaze on her.
Y/n: Hey.- I greeted back looking at her with curiosity. -Should I be afraid of what you thought?- I asked her with a certain humor.
Taissa: Considering you're scared of bees... - she mocks me with a big smile.
Y/n: I'm not afraid of bees, I'm allergic to them, ALLERGIC and I could die if they sting me. - I reproach her with an offended grimace.
Taissa: Whatever.- she dismisses me with her hand and a smile. - I've been thinking and I realise we should get out of here in search of help or something to eat. It's possible that the animals are migrating or that there's someone out there.- she tells me and I look at her a bit skeptically.
Y/n: I don't know Tai, if there was someone they would have appeared a long time ago from the noise the plane made against the ground.- I comment somewhat unsure.
Taissa: But what if there is someone or a small town far away enough so that they didn't hear the accident? - she tells me with some confidence. - What if there is a small town or a cabin like this one a few days walk away with people who can help us? - she hypothesizes with a small smile.
Y/n: And if there isn't one? - I ask trying to be realistic, since even with her approach the radius that the noise of the accident would had reached, is very extensive.
Taissa: And if there isn't, maybe we can find animals or something to bring back to camp.- she insists with a confident gesture.
Y/n: I don't know Tai.- I deny getting up from the stump. -I can't just get up and leave Lottie here.- I sigh looking towards where the mentioned one is.
Taissa: Lottie is old enough for you to keep an eye on her.- she assures me, crossing her arms.
Y/n: Are you going to tell me that you haven't noticed a differece in her? - I ask her, focusing my attention back on her.
Taissa: Different? More like a little disturbed.- she comments and I look at her badly, making her throw her hands in the air. -Sorry, it was a joke.- she apologizes immediately. -But still, it's not your responsibility.- she assures me placing a hand on my shoulder.
Y/n: She's my twin sister, of course she's my responsibility.- I remind her with a grimace. -I can't just leave her here for I don't know how many days.- I deny letting out a tired sigh.
Taissa: But you're not leaving her because you want to, but because we're going to go find help or food for everyone. This way you're going to help her a lot more than being behind her all day and worrying about everything she does or says. - she assures me with a slight smile and letting her squeeze my shoulder.
Y/n: I'm not sure.- I murmur trying to think of what is the most appropriate thing to do.
Taissa: Give it a tought and tell me.- she tells me in a calm voice.
We both stand in silence for a few seconds, before a commotion comes from the front of the cabin and out of the woods appear Travis and Nat with a dead deer.
Van: Meat, Fuck Yeah! -she exclaims excitedly as she passes by us quickly.
We all immediately approached them, happy that they were able to hunt and that we could eat something other than belt soup.
Van: Wow, that thing is knarly.- she says when both hunters pass by her and she sees the deer's antlers.
Akilah: It's like Freddy Krueger and Bambi had a baby.- she comments with some disgust when they leave the deer on the ground.
Javi: I'm not eating that.-he immediately denies looking at the dead animal.
Ben: Guys, relax.- asks the trainer approaching the deer. -Deer shed their antlers every season. This is normal.- he explains calmly. -Shauna, do the honors?- he asks her, his breathing a little labored from the effort.
Shauna quickly takes the knife out of her backpack, approaches the deer and begins to open its stomach to empty it.
As soon as she opens its stomach, we can all see the worms moving through the deer's organs and I have to look away to avoid throwing up.
Jackie: That's normal too, Coach? - she asks with a disgusted gesture.
Lottie: I'm not crazy.-I hear her mutter in front of me on her knees on the floor.
Laura Lee: No.-she denies in a whisper. -You have a gift.-she assures me and I open my eyes scared at her answer.
Taissa: We cannot keep fucking doing this, you guys.- she assures moving to the side. -What happens when winter gets here? We fucking starve to death or freeze?- she says, upset by the situation. -We can't count on getting rescued anymore. All of us know that is not going to happen, we have to save us.- she says confidently. -That's why I'm gonna go find help. I'm leaving in the morning, come with me if you want to get out of this fucking hellhole. - says as she walks safely into the cabin.
I just stay silent for a few moments, before sighing and walking towards the lake to be alone for a while.
I need to think about what I have to do and it will be impossible to do so near the abaña and the girls. So I walk calmly through the forest, thinking about the pros and cons of going with Taissa or staying with the rest.
Once at the lake, I sit on the shore on the stones and watch the slight movement of the water.
I don't know how long I spend staring at the water, until I hear footsteps behind me and when I look over my shoulder I see Jackie holding a bucket.
Jackie: Hey.- she greets me tiredly, walking towards the shore and filling the bucket with water.
Y/n: Hey.- I greet back watching as she puts the bucket aside and sits next to me. -Do you think Taissa's idea is crazy?- I ask her after a few seconds of silence.
Jackie: I don't know.- she answers with a sigh. -What I do know is that in a certain way she's right and that scares me.- she tells me in a low voice.
Y/n: Is the great captain Jackie Taylor afraid of something? - I asked with humor and receiving a slap on the arm from her.
Jackie: Idiot.- she insults me while laughing and I look at her with a proud smile for making her laugh.
Since the accident, I have noticed that Jackie is the one who is having the most difficulty adapting to the situation and that her mood is increasingly sad.
She is the one who has always been sure that they would come to rescue us and I have realized that with each passing day, that hope of being rescued is disappearing more and more from her eyes.
Y/n: Now seriously, you're afraid that they won't rescue us, right? - I ask her softly.
Jackie: It's been months and still no one has shown up.- she answers me with some apprehension in her voice.
Y/n: That doesn't mean they aren't looking for us.- I tell her to try to cheer her up a little.
Jackie: No, but it doesn't mean they'll find us either.- she whispers, placing her knees against her chest and her chin on them. -We both know that with each day that passes without them finding us, the probability that they'll stop looking for us and leave us for dead increases.- she explains to me with some fear and sadness in her voice.
I sigh with some sadness at her words, because in a way she is right and I don't want to think about it.
I approach the soccer captain, standing just a few inches away from her body and placing my hand on her lower back and moving it in circles to try to comfort her.
She leans into me and places her head on my shoulder relaxing her body against mine.
Y/n: They will find us, I promise.- I whisper against her head, resting my forehead on it. -But I need you to promise me something.- I ask her, swallowing hard.
Jackie: What? - she whispers, getting closer to my body and hugging me around my waist.
Y/n: Promise me that you will take care of Lottie when I'm not here.- I ask her with some fear that the madness I'm doing is permanent.
Jackie: What are you talking about? - she asks me, separating from me and looking at me with concern.
Y/n: I'm going to go with Tai.- I answer and she immediately shakes her head.
Jackie: You can't go, you can't, not you.- she tells me with some panic.
Y/n: I have to do it.- I assure her, looking her in the eyes. -I have to try, Lottie is not well and we can't continue like this much longer. The least I can do is try and seek help.- I explain to her with apprehension about the situation.
Jackie: But what if it doesn't work out? If some wild animal appears, or you guys get lost and can't get back, or any of the thousands of other things that could happen? - she asks me worriedly, waving her hands in an exaggerated manner.
Y/n: Nothing is going to happen.- I assure her, grabbing her hands and trying to calm her down. -The worst that could happen is that we don't find anything and we have to come back empty handed.- I explain to convince her.
Jackie: But what if...- she continues with the possibilities but I interrupt her before she can say anything else.
Y/n: Nothing is going to happen.- I tell her confidently and without taking my gaze off hers.
Jackie: Nothing is going to happen.- she repeats, nodding her head and looking me straight in the eyes.
We stay a few more moments looking into each other's eyes, before she puts her head back on my shoulder and hugs me tightly around the waist.
I put my arms around her shoulders, resting my head on hers and letting the sound of the lake be the only thing that can be heard.
Jackie's POV
It's been two and a half days since Akilah, Van, Taissa, Misty, Y/n and Mari went out in search of something.
As I promised Y/n, I've been keeping an eye on Lottie and talking to her at least a couple of times a day, to see how she's doing.
I try to ask her simple questions, so she doesn't feel like I'm interrogating her and get defensive.
But at most ,she will lose focus during the conversation and stare off into the distance for a few moments before continuing with the conversation like nothing. Which is not entirely worrying.
Plus, she and Laura Lee spend all day together, so it gives me some peace of mind that at least she's not out in the woods alone.
On the other hand, I have discovered that my best friend, the person in whom I had complete trust, has lied to me and betrayed me in the worst possible way.
Our entire friendship based on sincerity and trust has been a farce.
I knew something wasn't right the moment she told me her story with Randy and how she got pregnant.
If what she told me about losing her virginity at Mari's birthday party were to be true, she would have told me as soon as it happened. But she didn't and the biggest lie is that Jeff and I took drunk Randy home that night.
So it couldn't have been after we left and it couldn't have been before either, since Shauna was with me, Jeff and some of her friends all night.
But I didn't know that the reason for her lie and the person she actually slept with was my boyfriend.
My best friend has betrayed me in the worst way possible and has slept with my boyfriend. Also, in her diary are written all the times they did it and it wasn't just once, it was several times.
I don't know how she could do this to me, sleep with my own boyfriend and then get pregnant by him. How could she do this to me. How can she look at me in the eyes and lie in my face with no trace of guilt.
I don't even know how to look at her face without imagining them together, without feeling betrayed and imagining everything else she could have lied to me about.
I quickly get up from my chair when I see Misty, Mari and Akilah appearing through the forest, almost out of breath.
Jackie: Oh, my god. What happened?- I ask them, walking quickly and holding Misty before she fell to the ground.
Shauna: Where are Van, Tai and Y/n? -she asks, also getting up from her chair.
Misty: She...she told...she told us to leave them. We had to get help.-she tells us as best she can between breaths and Nat and Shauna grab her.
Lottie: Where is Y/n?-she asks Mari with a certain panic in her voice.
Laura Lee: Show us which way to go.- she asks her, grabbing her by the shoulders and staring at her.
Misty points to the path they came from and we all quickly set off.
We run quickly, following the instructions and directions given to us by Misty, who is at the head of everyone.
After running for a while, the darkness begins to hide everything around us and we decide that the best thing to do is to walk. So, lighting some lanterns, we walk quickly, looking everywhere.
Shauna: Van! - she shouts from in front of me.
Laura Lee: Taissa!- she shouts loudly from the front of the group.
Lottie: Y/n!- she shouts from behind me with obvious concern.
Laura Lee: Are you sure you came this way? -she asks the one leading us through the darkness.
Misty: I.. I don't know. I can't see anything.- she answers with uncertainty in her voice. -It's so dark.-she says looking around.
We stopped for a few seconds to catch our breath and looked around for something to guide us. It was then that we heard a noise and saw one of the flares rising between the trees.
Laura Lee: It's them.-she points with her finger and we quickly start running in that direction.
We run for a couple of minutes between the trees, immediately spotting the three of them on their knees on the ground and looking very bad.
Lottie: Y/n!- she exclaims, running towards her brother and kneeling next to him on the ground.
When we get closer we can see why the urgency, as Van has her face covered with rags and we can see the blood on her clothes. As can the pale color on Taissa and Y/n's faces.
We set off immediately, with most of the girls carrying Van, Misty and Laura Lee helping Tai, and Lotti and I carrying her brother.
As I help him up from the floor, I place a hand on his side and feel something cold and wet against my palm.
I raise my hand to my face, feeling my heart racing in my ears and my throat feeling dry as I swallow. I open my eyes, startled, when I make out the reddish color of blood in the light from the lanterns.
Jackie: Y/n.- I murmur scared seeing the boy's pale and sweaty face.
Misty: We have to get them there as soon as possible so we can stitch up their wounds.- she says hurriedly, encouraging us to walk as quickly as possible to the cabin.
So as quickly as possible, we managed to get to the cabin in record time and the girls got going.
Misty: Who goes first? - she asks as they clear the table, place candles around it, and Akilah searches for the materials.
Y/n: Van has to go first.- he answers in a low voice. -She is worse than me, I can hold on.- he assures the group with a small grimace.
Shauna: Van, are you ready? - she asks as they lay her down on the candlelit table.
The redhead lets out a grunt of pain, as Lottie and I place Y/n into one of the chairs.
Misty: We have to take off his clothes from the waist up. - She approaches us and reaches out her hands to do it.
Jackie: No.- I stop her immediately. -Lottie and I will do it.- I assure her, standing in front of her so she doesn't come any closer.
Misty: With the shirt you will have to press the wound to stop it from bleeding further.- she explains to me and I nod knowing what I have to do.
I turn towards the injured boy, approaching with uncertain steps and observing him in more detail thanks to the light from the cabin.
The black haired man, his green eyes are half-closed due to tiredness, has lost all the color in his face, you can see the sweat soaking his face and the locks of hair that are normally pushed back are stuck to his forehead.
On the other hand, the blue t-shirt and the grey sweatshirt are covered in dirt and blood, as are his jeans.
I quickly approach him, aware that he is not in a very good condition and that every minute is worth gold.
Lottie: You're going to be okay.- she whispers, stroking his hair. -Nothing's going to happen to you, It won't let anything happen to you.- she assures him with conviction and I look at her a little scared by the tone in which she is saying it.
Jackie: Lottie, help me take off his clothes.- I ask my teammate in a hurry.
Y/n: Damm Jackie, I knew you had the hots for me. - he scoffs with sense of humor, letting out a grunt when we move him to take off his sweatshirt.
Jackie: In your dreams.- I tell him with a slight smile, to try to ease the tension and play along.
When we managed to remove his shirt, you can see the wound on his side and it doesn't look good at all.
You can see the wolf's teeth and the cuts they left behind. There are at least five long cuts and about seven fairly large perforations on the side of his stomach and back.
You can see the blood gushing from the wounds and I have to hold back my gagging at the image.
Jackie: This is going to hurt.- I whispered softly, before placing his shirt over the wounds and pressing with both hands to stop the bleeding.
Y/n: Fuck.- he grunts in pain trying to get away from my hands.
Jackie: Lottie hold him.- I ask her, making her grab him by the shoulders and hold him still.
I press my hands against the wounds again and this time thanks to Lottie, Y/n doesn't get away from my hands no matter how hard he tries.
But Lottie's strength is affected when Akilah starts stitching Van up and she starts to let out pain-filled grunts.
The brunette immediately sits on the floor, placing her knees against her chest and covering her ears with the palms of her hands.
Y/n: Lot, don't listen.- he growls trying to get his sister's attention. -Lot, look at me.- he stretches his hands towards her with great effort. -Charlotte Matthews look at me right now.- he orders her and she surprisingly does it. -Come closer.- he asks her with a sigh.
Lottie walks over to her brother and he immediately pulls her close to his body. As I apply pressure to his wound, I can hear him whispering things to his sister to reassure her and distract her from what's happening on the other side of the room.
But after a few moments, I stop hearing the whispers from Y/n and I look at his closed eyes.
Jackie: Shit! - I exclaimed scared, stopping pressing on the wound and grabbing his cheeks. -Y/n, wake up. Keep your eyes open, wake up! - I exclaimed hitting him on the cheek trying to get him to react but nothing.
Lottie: Y/n.- she whispers, separating herself from her brother's thigh and looking at him scared. -It's not your turn.- she murmurs confused, placing her hand on her brother's bare chest.
Jackie: Girls hurry up, Y/n has lost consciousness! - I shout for them to hear me, without stopping hitting the boy's cheeks and trying to wake him up.
Natalie: Don't fuck with me.- she growls when she reaches us and takes his pulse. -Does anyone else know how to sew?- she asks the girls with some panic.
Misty: Me! - she exclaims quickly raising her hand.
I look at Nat, a little unsure and worried that Misty will stitch up Y/n's wound and I can see that she feels the same as me.
Natalie: We have no choice.- she murmurs, looking at me with apprehension. -Misty, grab a needle and thread quickly. We'll put him on the floor.- she says, grabbing him by one of his arms.
I do the same and with Lottie's help we get him on the ground as quickly as possible.
Misty: I have everything.- she tells us, throwing herself on her knees beside us. -I need more light.- she tells us while she begins to put the thread on the curved needle for fishing.
Nat: I'm going to get more candles.- she says getting up and I do the same with her.
We both grab some candles and run back to where Y/n, Lottie and Misty are. We place the candles on the ground near the wound, lighting them so Misty can see what she's stitching.
I swallow hard, feeling my hands shake from fear and worry that Y/n will die.
I move to the other side of Misty, kneeling at his hip and grabbing his hand. I bring the hand to my chest, praying that Misty will stitch him up quickly so that the bleeding stops and he can survive.
Your POV
I pull the chair over next to Jackie's and sit down a bit carefully, trying not to let the stitches pull too hard. But I can't help but let out a little grunt as I lean forward and take my share of the bear meat.
Jackie: Are you okay? - she asks me in a whisper, placing her hand on my thigh and leaving a light squeeze there.
Y/n: Yeah, I just moved too fast.- I play it down with a smile and she returns it.
She also leans forward and receives her plate with her ration from the redhead, while the others talk about whether we should wait for Nat and Travis or not.
Van: Lottie, last night you said we wouldn't be hungry much longer. How did you know? -she asks my sister and I feel my body tense immediately.
Everything that happened last night was absolutely crazy and I don't know what the hell went through their heads to make them act the way they did.
Because the mushroom excuse doesn't work for me, since we're all supposed to have eaten them and not all of us tried to sacrifice Travis. Especially not with the way my own sister, Shauna, and Mari jumped on me when I came down from the attic with Jackie, before Travis showed up completely out of it and they jumped on him immediately.
Lottie: I just did.-she answers, chewing what she has in her mouth.
Y/n: She didn't know anything, it was pure coincidence, okay? - I say seriously and avoiding looking at my sister at all costs.
Jackie: Yeah, it's called getting lucky.- she supports me, giving my thigh another squeeze. - The bear probably just smelled us and came looking for food, okay? Probably had something wrong with him. - she says in a logical way to take a bite of her meat.
Misty: It didn't look sick.-she denies sitting to my right.
Mari: Honestly, at this point I don't even think I care.- she says sitting at the table. -Can we just eat?- she asks, wanting to leave the subject aside.
Van: Wait.- she asks, drawing everyone's attention. -Should we maybe... say something? Like... like thanks or grace or.. whatever- she asks, somewhat unsure.
The dining room falls completely silent for a few moments, during which no one knows what to say or how to act in response to the question.
Taissa: Yeah.-she nods, leaving her glass on the table. -Just make it quick.-she asks her girlfriend and I can't help the frustrated grunt that escapes me.
Van: Lot?- she asks my sister and I can only roll my eyes and continue eating.
Lottie: Sure, let's join our hands.-she says leaving her ration aside and shaking hands with the trainer and Shauna.
From my peripheral vision, I see a hand approaching from my right, so I look up from my plate and see Misty holding out her hand to me.
I just stare at her for a few seconds, alternating my gaze between her eyes and her hand, before shaking my head and turning my head towards Jackie, seeing that she thinks the same as me.
Lottie: For this gift from the wilderness, we give our thanks.-she begins to say and my right knee begins to bounce from the tension.
Van: Thank you.- she says to my sister's words, urging her to continue.
Lottie: To the spirit of the bear, who sacrificed so that we could survive, we give our thanks.-she says and they all give thanks. -And to the ancient gods of the sky and the dirt, we give our thanks.-it continues and everyone thanks again.
Misty: You two didn't say it.-she whispers looking at the girl to my left and me. -Jackie and Y/n didn't say it.- she accuses us loudly so that everyone present knows.
Y/n: The fuck is your problem?-I asked the curly-haired blonde with a murderous look.
Jackie: No, I didn't thank the dirt for bringing us a brain-dead bear. What is even happening right now? -she asks, impressed by the group's attitude. -The fuck is wrong with you all?- she asks the girls, leaning forward.
Taissa: It's fine, you guys. They don't have to... -she comes to our defense but the team captain interrupts her.
Jackie: Oh, shut up Tai.- she scoffs at her. -Don't pretend like you weren't a part of it. What, we're... we're just not going to talk about it? - she asks everyone present. -We just howl at the moon now and have fucking orgies or support incest?- she says and I tense up even more at the last thing she said. -And somehow we are the ones who did something wrong? -She shrugs her shoulders, angry at the whole situation.
Ben: Whoa, wait, what?- he asks completely surprised by what he just heard.
Shauna: Jackie, calm down.-she asks her best friend, but I can see that this only makes her angrier.
Jackie: Don't tell me to calm down!-she exclaims angrily, getting up from her chair. - What were you gonna do to Travis last night, Sahuna? - she asks, approaching her and crossing her arms. -Answer me.-she asks after a few seconds of silence.
Shauna: I don't know. I don't remember. -she answers with some uncertainty, her gaze fixed on the ground.
Jackie: Bullshit.-she reproaches, not believing what she has just heard. -You had a knife to his throat. If we hadn't come, you would have killed him.- she accuses her with total honesty.
Shauna: Just shut up!-she exclaims angrily, getting up from her seat. -None of this would have happened if it wasn't for you. If you hadn't...-she accuses quickly, approaching her without finishing the sentence.
Jackie: Hadn't what? Huh?-she asks without reacting to his proximity. -Stolen him? Wow. The irony.- she scoffs again. -Shauna was fucking Jeff behind my back, you know that?- she asks and I open my eyes in surprise. -Yeah. That's who's really responsible for her little bundle of joy.-she tells everyone present and I stare at her, worried about her.
Shauna: It was you.-she accuses her with a certain hurt tone. -You read my journal.-she explains without taking her eyes off the one who was her best friend.
Jackie: How could you? - she accuses her with pain in her voice. -You were my best friend. You.. you.. you don't even like him.-she says in a hurt face.
Shauna : And how would you know? - she asks her angrily with a broken voice. -You're so obsessed with yourself, I'm surprised I'm aware other people even exist.-she reproaches this time with some malice.
Y/n: Girls, I think it's best to stop now.- I say, getting up and leaving the empty plate aside.
Shauna: You know you never even asked me if I wanted to go to Rutgers? You just assumed I would go wherever you wanted.-She reproaches her with more and more annoyance in her voice. -You tell me what to wear, what to do, who to hook up with. I don't even like soccer!-shouts the last part. -But you just get everything you want. All the time like it's nothing. And the rest of us, we are just extras in the movie of your fucking life.- she accuses her angrily and with some pain in her tone.
Jackie: Oh, my God. You are such a cliché.- she exclaims, hurt and upset by what she just said. -Oh, is the.. is the sad little sidekick mad?- she asks with a certain sarcasm. -Did I force you to live in my shadow, Shauna? It must be hard being this jealous all the time.-she says, earning a short laugh in response.
Y/n: Girls, seriously, stop.- I ask them taking a couple of steps towards them, but a hand on my sweatshirt stops me. -What are you doing?- I ask Van confused and she shakes her head.
Jackie: What? You're so fucking jealous of me, you can barely breathe.-she reproaches Shipman, hurt and angry with her.
Shauna: Are you quoting Beaches at me right now? - she asks with a gesture of confusion.
Jackie: What? No.-she denies, confused by the question.
Shauna: I'm not jealous of you, Jackie. I fell sorry for you. Because you're weak and I think that deep down, you know it. - she says taking a few steps towards her. -I'm sure everyone back home is so fucking sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they will never know how tragic and boring and insecure you really are.- she continues without measuring her words. -Or how high school was the best your life was ever going to get.-she finishes saying in a somewhat aggressive way and I can see the damage those words are doing to Jax.
Jackie: Fuck you.-she says with a slightly broken voice. -That's it. You know what? That's it. Get.. get out.-she orders pointing to the cabin door.
Y/n: Jax, stop.-I ask her, trying to get closer, but the redhead keeps holding me by the clothes and preventing me from doing so.
Jackie: Go on, get out.-she repeats with a little more force.
Shauna: No.- she shakes her head, her eyes wide.
Jackie: I can't be around you, I... I can't even fucking look at you right now.- She says completely hurt.
Shauna: Well, that sounds like your problem. So maybe you should leave.-she ignores the order and stands in her place while maintaining eye contact.
Everyone remains completely silent for a few seconds, processing the words of the two friends and the situation that is happening at this moment.
Mari: Maybe you would be better off, since we're all so crazy.-she reproaches the captain, supporting Shauna.
Ben: Okay, everybody just stop. Nobody is going outside.-he orders us all seriously.
Lottie: Stay out of it, Coach.-she tells him with a murderous look.
Y/n: No, you stay out of it. You already did enough last night.-I say to my twin, giving her a dirty look, angry and fed up with her attitude.
Jackie: You know what? Fine.-she says walking towards the sleeping things and grabbing her blanket and pillow.
Taissa: Jackie, come on. Don't go outside.-she asks her friend, somewhat tired.
Jackie: Don't pretend like this isn't what you wanted the entire fucking time.- she responds with obvious anger.
Y/n: Don't be silly, Jax.- I ask her, releasing myself from Van's grip and walking towards her. -The temperatures are dropping and sleeping outside is dangerous.- I assure her, worried about her.
Jackie: I don't care, I'm not going to be where I'm not wanted and clearly this isn't it.- she denies looking me in the eyes. -I don't even know who you are anymore.-she says to the one who was her best friend.
Shauna: Or maybe you never did.-she assures her and that is all she needs to leave the cabin and slam the door.
The room is tensely silent for a few moments, until I hear a murmur and explode.
Y/n: What the hell is wrong with you two? - I ask completely angry. - We are all here together, for better and for worse, and no one has more right than anyone to be in the cabin. - I comment looking at the pregnant girl. - And let me tell you that as a friend, you leave a lot to desire. Not only have you betrayed your best friend, but you have dumped all your frustration on her and used her insecurities against her to hurt her. What kind of best friend does that? - I ask her completely impressed by her evilness.
Shauna: You don't know anything.- she claims, directing her anger towards me.
Y/n: And I don't need to know.- I deny between my teeth. -With what I just saw, it seems more than enough to know what kind of person you are and believe me, you are not the type I want by my side in a situation like the one we are in.- I finish looking at her with repulsion, before grabbing two blankets and a pillow to leave the cabin.
Lottie: You can't go out.- she forbids me, standing in front of the door so I can't open it.
Y/n: Charlotte, get out of the way right now.- I ordered her, annoyed by her attitude.
Lottie: No.- she denies strongly and crosses her arms.
Y/n: You move or I move you. But I'm not staying here with you two. - I assure her, looking at her with my eyes half closed.
Lottie: No.- she repeats in a slower manner, but with the same authoritative tone of voice.
Y/n: You asked for it.- I remind her grabbing her by the arm and pulling her to the side, trying not to use too much force to hurt her, but enough to move her.
Once I push her away from the door, I open it and walk outside, slamming the door behind me.
At the sound of the door, Jackie turns her head towards me at the noise and frowns when she sees me.
I just walk towards her, dropping the things in my arms to the ground and sitting on the wooden log carefully.
Jackie: What are you doing? - she asks me in a low and broken voice without taking her eyes off me.
Y/n: Keeping you company.- I answer shrugging my shoulders. -You're crazy if you think I'm going to leave you here alone and stay in there with them.- I explain looking at her as if she were crazy, causing a small laugh from her at my gesture.
Jackie: Thank you.- she whispers looking at her hands.
Y/n: You don't have to thank me for anything.- I assure her with an amused grimace.
I put one of my arms over her shoulders, pulling her close to my body. I place a kiss on her forehead, feeling her snuggle up against my chest and hug my waist tightly, but careful of my wounds.
She looks up at me, placing a hand on the back on my neck and pulling at It to join our lips in a soft kiss. When she pulls away, her eyes shine full off life ande a small smile appears in her face.
We just sit together outside watching the sun disappear and observing the flames of the fire move in the darkness of the forest night.
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strangelittlestories · 3 hours ago
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"You know, Red Riding Hood, *some people* consider it rude to comment on a person's physical traits." Grandma's awfully big and bushy eyebrows (above her awfully big eyes) raised in unimpressed fashion. "Like, if it comes up in conversation, sure. But completely unprompted? For shame, granddaughter."
Red considered this. She considered this deeply. She held a brief little internal conference about this.
Red's Super Ego: She's got a point. In an ideal world, this isn't how we'd behave.
Red's Anxiety: Yeah, we fudged it, lads. We've screwed the pooch. Really wrenched the dalmatian. And absolutely bolted the little doggie too. The only thing to do now is apologise and get eaten.
Red's Healthy Boundaries: Hold up, can we consider context? Sure, avoiding physical commentary is usually a good rule, but it's situational right? And the situation we are *currently in* is noticing that our grandma has suddenly developed a severe case of apex predator. A condition that, by the way, is usually terminal ... but not for her.
Red's Lizard Brain: RUN RUN RUN! TEETH! RUN! TEETH! OH GOD! FLEE FREEZE! AAAAAAAAAA! GULLET! MUZZLE HER WITH A DOILIE! USE THE CROCHET LIKE A NET! PUNCH THE SNOOT!
Red's Ancestral Knowledge: Hold up. Something feels ... I dunno. Itchy? Like. Itchy on the inside. There's something we're missing. Why does it feel like night-time when it's not dark? Why do I love this wolf in grandma's clothes? What *day* is it?
Red's Critical Thinking: Sorry I'm late to the party, gang. Hey, if this wolf ate grandma, then why's everything so clean still? Like, no gore or splatter? And if it ate her whole, then how's it wearing her nightgown?
Red's Adrenal Glands: Hey, you guys like 4 Non-Blondes? 'Cos we're about to take a deep breath and then GET REAL HIGH.
All of this happened in moment. But that, it turned out, was still a moment *too long*, because Red's mouth had been talking out loud while the other bits had been talking in her head.
"Grandma, let's cut the crap." Red's voice was blunt, but still fond. "You're a big old wolf and I'm snack-size. But just because you're a danger doggo, doesn't mean you're not *also* my family. Maybe you ate grandma. Or maybe the full moon's about to come out and it turns out granny's always been a bit howly around the edges. It doesn't matter - either way, my gran's in there somewhere. And I love you. You hear me? I love you no matter what you are. So if you're gonna eat me, you'd best do it quick, because the woodcutter usually checks in around this time and he is not a lover of anything lupine. So ... what do you say?"
Red could see two different creatures were warring in grandma's eyes horizon-wide eyes. One hungered for community. Another hungered for flesh.
But, ultimately, both were pack predators.
"My, what a big heart you have, granddaughter."
And the wolf engulfed Little Red Riding Hood with its limbs, rather than its jaws.
"Phew. That's a relief. I wasn't sure who was gonna win there." Red's voice was a little muffled from around the fur and fluffy nightgown. "But I wasn't joking about the woodcutter. So unless he's likely to get real chill with some stuff real quick, you and me have gotta make a man disappear, grandma."
Grandma the Wolf nodded.
"Hey kid. If a tree falls in this forest and no-one's around to hear it?" Grandma's big-ass teeth were all the better for grinning. "Then can they do us for murder?"
"They cannot." replied Red, resolutely. "Let's make this tree-hating motherlover cry wolf."
"I'm actually a little surprised you're so down for murder, Red."
"Well, they do say the best defence ... is a *hood* offence."
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Hi, I just read wandering Babies and I was wondering if I could maybe get a part two maybe a few months to year later, if not it's all good.
.⋆。Stationary Family。⋆.
Negan x plus size reader
Though he no longer had power or the fear of people around him, Negan felt like he was the top of the fucking world.
Warnings: mom!reader, I fucked with the timeline a bit (as always), pregnant!reader, fluff, mentions of the war and walkers, dad!Negan, no use of Y/N, vague mention of pegging and trying for a baby, suggestive WC: 1.6k Minors DNI
Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library
Wandering Babies (part 1)
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The ache in his back was getting worse by the second, but Negan was in no position to complain, at least not out loud. His hands seemed permanently caked in mud, the back of his neck perpetually sunburnt as he toiled away in the gardens of Alexandria. This was his penance, a redemption via servitude to the people he had tormented who had given him mercy at his weakest moment. 
He knew he deserved worse, so he kept his mouth firmly shut as he winched with earth painful twinge up his back.
“Daddy!” But that made it all better. Negan let out a groan of pain as he stood up, his joints screaming after being in the same position for hours. The sun hovered just above the horizon, painting the walled town in a golden light and silhouetted against the main square was the reason he kept working as hard as he did.
“Hi girls!” He called back. Immediately, the older two kids took off running, weaving their way through the rows of crops expertly all while their mother lazily trailed behind them, hand in hand with their youngest who was not yet confident enough to walk around Alexandria without one of his parent’s holding his hand.
Isabella, the faster of the twins, slammed into his open arms, her bubbly laugh instantly relieving the pain of the day. Negan’s grip was firm around his girl, breathing in the clean smell of her soap. “I wanted to hug daddy first!” Lucia wiggled her little body into the small space between his bent legs, sighing happily as she too got to wrap herself up in his warmth for the first time that day.
Though their weight pulled on his already strained back, he held them tighter still, gratefully sending out another than you to the universe for letting him keep the small family he had somehow swindled his way into. 
“Girls! Let daddy take a second to breathe before you smother him and I have to clean him up… again.” The sensually curvaceous shadow that fell over him suddenly gave the man a second wind. Arms tightening around the girls, he shot up, dragging their giggling bodies into the air and then he was stood above her— the absolute fucking love of his life.
“Now now mama, I happen to remember that you like cleaning me up. May I remind you of that wonderful jacuzzi tub with the 12 separate jets. Huh, baby?” Her lips curled into an almost vicious frown but Negan saw just how her eyes sparkled and he would bet his left fucking arm that there was a a nice little heat crawling up her neck.
“You are a dirty pervert.” She scolded as she pulled barely four year old onto her wide hip, his chunky hand clinging to the buttons of her shirt.
“What’s a pervert mama?” Lucia blurted out. Negan responded by skillfully flipping her little body over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, sending her into another fit of screaming giggles. He knew he was gonna pay for that later, in more ways than one.
“And how is my favourite little man?” Tomas grinned at his father, proudly showing off his pearly whites. 
“I made buns!” Negan’s greying brow lifted as his lips turned up. She knew exactly what he wanted to say next and she was not going to indulge him. 
“And some spaghetti for dinner. The girls made the sauce.” The smile that graced her face made her glow in the last dredges of sunlight, her heart laid out plainly before him like it was the day the girls had first called him dad, the first time she let him take care of her. 
“Then c’mon, daddy’s fudging hungry!” 
——————
“Roll over.” Dinner was done, baths had and then the bathroom floor mopped, and all the children were now peacefully sleeping in their beds. Negan had all but collapsed onto the mattress, his aching muscles screaming in relief.
“Baby, you know I love you and find you sexy as shit but I don’t do the whole ‘taking it’ route.” He obeyed anyway, his face burying into the pillows on her side of the bed. “‘Sides, don’t think I could get the big guy up right now if I tried.” 
The bed dipped around his hips as a weight settled just below his ass. “Eh, more like just above average guy.” Warm hands pressed against his shoulder blades, keeping him from flipping back over in protest.
“Now that’s just fucking mean baby.” She hummed under her breath.
“Jesus, your back is like a bag of rocks.” Her thumbs dug against the sinewy muscle along his spine, drawing a strained groan from the man between her legs. Negan curled his fingers into the duvet as she hit a particularly sore spot.
“Yeah well, it’s not like I get a fucking day off.” The comforting weight of her body leveraged forwards, forcing his bare chest deeper into their mattress and the air from his lungs. The pressure was so blissfully perfect that all he could do was release a moan she had only ever heard before when it was him above her.
Her chuckle vibrated through his skin. “You’ve been working so hard, handsome. I’m sure I could get Michonne to swing a couple days to rest. I can grab a couple extra shifts on watch and in inventory to make up for it.” 
“No.” His hand landed on the soft fat of her thigh and gave it a warning squeeze. “This is my punishment. And I’m supposed to be taking care of you and the kids, especially since…” His voice trailed off. Negan turned his head, his brown eyes gazing up at the woman who had given him purpose and light.
Her smile was gentle. “Since what babe? Since we’re fucking raw every chance we get so you can get another little prince or princess to spoil?” A blush bloomed across his stubbled cheeks.
“Good lord woman, when did you get so fucking vulgar?” With one last deep press against the base of his spine, releasing the pops that had been sitting in between his vertebrae for the last five hours, she lifted herself off of him and dropped onto the bed next to him, their heads brushing each other.
“Oh that’s nothing compared to the shit you’ve said while you were inside me.” She threw a plump leg over his hips, pulling herself even closer to him in a way that he used to dream about. His arm wrapped around her waist, thanking her with a soft kiss to the tip of her nose.
A solemn expression pulled at her lips and eyebrows. “Just, don’t forget that you do have people who love you. Your redemption had already been earned and then some in our eyes, you just have to believe us.” Her fingers ran through his salt and pepper hair as a familiar comfort coiled around them in the small bubble of their bed.
Negan knew that he could break his back every day for the next century and never make up for the things he had done, the death and fear that came from his hand. In this moment, however, all he could think of was the family that had so captured him, shifted his soul so wholly that he could not even recognise his younger self. Lucia— his shy girl who grew more confident and bright with each compliment she was paid, Isabella— his competitive spirit who wanted nothing more than to make her family proud, and his sweet, curious little Tomas who was still a mama’s boy at heart, but never gave up the chance to help his father.
And their wonderful, intoxicating, stubborn, gorgeous, confusing mother who made sure to remind him every second that she could, that she had picked him, even after all the shit he had done, and that she loved him enough to risk her very life to give him another baby to love and raise with her.
“You are a fucking goddess.” Her lips fit effortlessly against his own. She sighed happily as he leaned against her, his tongue brushing against her bottom lip. The kiss deepened though it would not go any further than that, at least for that night. Negan mused briefly that maybe if he got both of them up early enough in the morning that they could take advantage of the nice big shower in the master bathroom.
“And you are a fucking sap.” She gasped for air. “Who would’ve thought that the big bad leader of the Saviours would end up living with the single mom of three who had somehow ended up in a place she shouldn’t be?” Her nails scratched his scalp, sending a pleasured tingle throughout his body.
“I did. Every night after the moment I met you, I wished and hoped for it— for this: us and the kids somewhere peaceful and safe.” She said nothing after that and he didn’t need her to. This was more than enough, to know that his kids were just a couple doors away and the woman who was something more than just a wife to him was cradled in his arms with a promise of a future he had always craved nestled somewhere in the universe.
Their goodnight was a gentle kiss and another soft smile. 
She would tell him tomorrow about the little surprise the kids had planned for him after they were told her secret after she would beg the Alexandrian council for a break for both of them. After all, they loved her babies, so they would obviously have to warm up to Negan if she had another one on the way.
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creampill · 3 days ago
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skating date 🙏 maybe reader hasn’t a clue how to skate and is hopelessly clinging onto the behemoth of a dork who flawlessly dominates the skating rink
Okay, this is an interesting one because the outcome entirely depends on what type of skating is being had: Ice skating or roller skating? (Long post ahead, you’ve been warned)
If it’s ice skating, then König? He does fine. Growing up in Austria (and, as I headcanon, rurally) he’s had plenty of winters spent on frozen lakes with his siblings. He knows how not to bust his ass. He would have little ice hockey scrimmages with his fellow schoolkids at the little schoolhouse he went to, and he can point to some small, very old scars from unfortunate falls.
If you’re bad at ice skating? He will absolutely take the opportunity to play teacher. When in unfamiliar situations and in public, he tends to get nervous fast, especially in a romantic setting. So it would be much better to get him on a lake, just you and him, wrapped up warm and in skates just like his childhood. He’d hold you by the waist and help you stay steady, showing you how to turn your feet to stop and catch you when you almost fall. He’s warm, always so warm, and his big wide smile when you execute a turn all on your own is enough for him to melt the ice under you.
If you’re good at ice skating? He’d be much more comfortable in a public place. Ice skating is something he knows, and if he doesn’t have to worry about his beloved breaking their face, he can manage being around other people. And of course he’s skating beside you, holding your hand, doing little twirls if your skills allow. If you’re a proper figure skater, he’s watching dreamily as his little angel dances around on the ice, an aura of “that’s my partner, ain’t I lucky?” wafting off him.
If you also did some ice hockey- game is on. Once he’s given the go-ahead to get competitive, you’d better bring proper protection. König has a competitive streak as large as he is. He will use those bigass shoulders and he will laugh when he bowls you over. (Unless you’re actually hurt- then it’s all the way back to big softie puppy boy again) It’s a display of pure boyish delight and pride, and a good way to get all his adrenaline and energy out. He’s a goofy, sweaty mess afterwards- or a pouty one if you happened to win.
But, if it’s roller skating? This is a realm entirely unknown to König. One might think, reflexively, well, they’re both just skating, how much difference does it make?
A lot. First of all, different surfaces. Different centre of gravity on different types of skates. Roller blades may help, but then there’s the pushing vs sliding motion, entirely variable stopping methods- it’s a lot. And that cocky confident bastard on the ice is now looking at you with big hopeless eyes because he’s spent the last ten minutes desperately hugging the barrier with legs bowing like a newborn fawn.
If you’re also bad at roller skating? Oh no. It’s a comedy of errors, idiots in love. Neither of you know what you’re doing, you’re swapping ideas that never work and constantly having to use one another for support. There is plenty of laughter and plenty of physical contact- he’s got those nice strong arms that, even though he is impossibly clumsy, he’s still trying to Prince Charming you with. When the inevitable fall happens, it’s broken by him, landing directly onto the softness of his chest. Pressed that close, you can feel the rumble of his bright laughter as the two of you sit on your ass in the middle of the rink.
If you’re good at roller skating? Now it is you who is the Prince Charming. You get the pleasure of corralling your massive wet blanket of a datemate, König. If by some miracle you can support his weight, you’re good to go, but if like the majority of people you can’t hold steady this absolute mass of a lad, good luck. You’ll be getting a workout in, holding and leading and tugging him off of the ground. He learns fast, always has, but he still can’t help but squawk every time he feels himself losing balance.
And he is grateful, so grateful. Mostly told by how often he says thank you, his wobbly grins, jokes at his own expense. Not just for your help, but wow, he can make a fool of himself in front of you, and yet you still give him that adoring smile? God. He would take a million tailbone bruises for that smile.
💖 my inbox is open for requests, and my dms for commissions!
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arthur-lesters-ass-hair · 24 hours ago
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SPOILERS FOR PART 50
What the fuck why is this guy so much of a submissive isn't he a cultist
Orthur saw a cowboy movie four times I'm laughing my ass off because all I can envision is Brokeback Mountain
He CANNOT get on this horse and refuses a stool
Poor John trying to help- 'you were resting!' my man is trying too hard to keep this little brit from curling up
Who tf is John Wayne *Googles* oh THATS John Wayne
He can't drive this car (horse) for the life of him
Everard definitely saw Arthur suck ass at riding and nodded sagely to not laugh
IS THIS BLACK KNIGHT FUCKING SCOTTISH OH MY GOD
Does anyone ever notice John checking them out
Day of Wrath mention!!!!!
What the fuck what's happening SHUT UP YORICK
OH FUCK OH FUCK MOTHER DARKNESS OH NO
Oh this old bitch is absolutely a god no doubt
Green eyes? Hello gorgeous exotic milf
Knights are like 'does she know you baby? You sure you wanna talk to her? Blink if you need help!'
What the everloving shit is she doing with that man's greying hair
CHANTING
Oh she hates orders more than the people who killed her child- dayum Greek God coded
Also LILITH MENTIONS
SHES CANONICALLY HIS (KAYNES) DAUGHTER I FUCKING CALLED IT I CALLED IT
Oh she's genocidal alright that makes way too much sense
FEEDS ON FEAR YOU SAY???
Kayne's genetics are working hard
Paranoia planting yayy
Lilith is older than the earth??? Milf
MALEVOLENT MENTION??
YOU'RE SAYING NO TO THE ROTTONG MILF??? hot
Arrogance? Yes.
Oh not a good smile
'GOOD'?
Oh she's angy
I want this lady to dominate me
That was threatening
Houdini ass
Oh shit Lilith is like 'im baaaaaaack!!!' frfr
Wonder how Kayne feels about this hope he's a good father
Dark Knight being a thing of Mother Darkness feels too obvious
Is it the twink? Antwon? Probs. He's dead he's too innocent
Not working together??
Oh FINAL STONE?
Lilith is Thanos
Yorickkkkkkk pleaseeee
OH he's just a silenced poor little guy with autism
Healthy argument surprisingly
I hope Lilith gets a female voice actor- all these old women then BOOM female
'just saying???' fair enough
He'll absolutely not honour his word in the way Arthur hopes but oh fucking well
'hope'? YES this podcast is about hope
Oh the knight is talking
Alia or whoever she is??? Definitely not human
Seraph??? ANGL? Oh witch fair enough
Eyes and tongue? Ardur?
Human connection??? Oh she's a Yorick with tits and no tongue
Oh fuck what's the knight yelling about
KELLIN MENTION
Yeah Yorick phone but lady
What's the knight- oh he's just curious aggressively
Telling the truth? Damn orthur
Telling damn near the whole truth? Sexy but confusing
Knight is reasonable
Way too reasonable
He's evil or going to die or worse
Damn Alia is evil one way Google maps
Oh she wants to chat to the brit poor choice
HAH THE HORSE IS 'JOHN WAYNE' THANK YOU YORICK
Harlan has definitely seen the cowboy aus
WAS a vanguard wtf?
Okay telephone Alia doesn't want Lilith to win fair enough
Two souls? No shit
A role to play? Fuck this ominous shit goddamnit harlot githrie
Damn he wants a palm reading
GOOD? Huh
At least he's also confused
Arthur is fucking dead fym final act
Oh she's dead in the future
Invisible ink or something? Maybe John's special eyes
HOPE MESSAGE YES
MALEVOLENT is all about hope even with the whimpering Brit
'trust his words in the end' Is this about Yorick or John???? Fak that's gonna make conflict
PIT MENTION
They need to hug
Okay he's being hopeful that's good
They're both being hopeful!!!
Yayyy!!!!
Still ten episodes left we're so fucked
THEY ARE BEING NICE TO YORICK YAY
oh no his autism is leaving
Poor baby
HE'S BECOMING SOMETHING ELSE YAY
Awwwww he's their little autist son who is definitely going to betray them awwwwwwwwww
YAY
EPS over I am happy
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nixon-stars · 1 day ago
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ooooooh you wanna yap about Clara so badddddd (please yap about her please please please please please)
HI YES I REALLY DO
I dunno how much I'll talk but I'm putting in the lil read more antway
HIIIIIII SO
For those not in the know, Clara is my sweet evil baby girl also the main antagonist for my oc world and story, rn going under the name 'Pakshapuram' (definitely going to change it tho, also 'paksha' coming from Sanskrit for wing and puram being a common suffix for towns in south india, like Kanchipuram)
She was born and raised in Pakshapuram, a city town thing that is one of a few cities around the area (this area is pretty isolated the only people that come through were born and raised or shifty guys working through black market sort of trades).
She was born the only child to Amara, who with no partner and no other kids and a big expectations on her, put everything into raising Clara. She's a pretty typical Indian mum though, rarely giving affection or praise, but it works, and Clara knows she's well loved.
She is also a bharatanatyam dancer!! Which doesn't help with the pressure but whatever, Clara's life is good, she has her mum, lots of friends, people all around her that want to help, and most importantly she has Xavier.
Xavier, I could talk about him forever, but what you need to know is that he and Clara are CLOSE. Always together, never separated, all the aunties look on and call them "heart and soul" (ഹൃദയവും ആത്മാവും) they don't leave each other's side right
But there's no good character without a touch 🤏 of trauma so, yayyyy
While dancers learn bharatanatyam, after they learn everything and stuff they get this big ceremony debut into their official career, it's called an Arangetram, and it's a bigggg deal okay?
Also like a year before this, Amara find out she's expecting!!!! Gives birth to a baby boy!!!! Very healthy!!!! Nothing will happen to him promise!!!!!!
Anyway on the day of Clara's Arangetram, she goes to her aunty's house to get dressed quickly in her saree (if you've ever tried to put on a saree you KNOW this isn't quick in the slightest)
She comes back and 😱😱😱 her mum is a statue wthhh?????
And her baby brother is gone?????? (It has nothing to do with amara's old wlw situationship that ended terribly and sourly and left a lot of unanswered questions and lingering feelings whattt)
She's confused af obviously and angry and WHO TF TURNED MY MUM INTO A STATUE y'know very justified, and she overhears some people talking about how Dragons???? might be responsible????
You need to know that dragons are heavily venerated in Pakshapuram, the religion of the city revolves around how important dragons are too the world right and how they shouldn't be touched or anything yeah
An old guy came up and said that he had known about a prophecy that something like this could happen and blah blah blah Clara's in charge now
But like she's sixteen so that's alottttt of pressure to put on a literal child you would think? NOPE they said make her queen now
So now Clara's in charge and also A GRIEVING TEENAGER and she is stressed
And woahhhjj perfect timing famine through the land!!!!!!!
Every one is really hungry and Xavier, who is now general, asked her what she wanted to do about it and maybe just maybe let's use the food we had stored just in case something like this happened????
Clara goes "no girl im using that"
And Xavier's like "what why we don't need to use those???"
And Clara like "yeah we do thats what I'm referring the troops I sent to go find a dragon for me to kill to get revenge for killing my mum"
And Xavier's like "you crazy bitch people are starving can you be insane later"
Clara throws a temper tantrum and exiles him woooooop #girlboss
Years pass and Xavier's making a under ground resistance against Clara because she has moved on from killing people with her ignorance to just killing them if they disagree with her which isn't cool
Clara goes very insane with the grief and stress and everything she's soooo unhappy and very evil about it she's talking to the statue of her mum and she's not doing well
And here's about where the main story starts, and I haven't even talked about the protagonists
Anyway I wonder what happened to that baby brother????? 🤔🤔🤔 I guess we'll never knowwwwww
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Happy 28th! Here is my February 2025 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!
Wildflower by blueskiesrry / @blueskiesrry (112k)
“You look like a wildflower,” Louis comments, shielding his eyes from the sun, the crinkles near them even more prominent in this light.
“What?” Harry’s words stumble over a surprised laugh.
“With your hair all fluffy like that.”
Harry’s fingers automatically find their way into his hair as he silently curses the humidity out on the water.
“He kind of does, doesn’t he?” Elizabeth adds.
Louis tilts his head to the side, smile softening and blurred around the edges. “Our very own long-stemmed wildflower.”
-
or: a 1950s hollywood story spanning half a decade where harry and louis are constantly growing towards, away from, & around each other and everything harry wants are things he can’t have.
Through Eerie Chaos Series by MediaWhore / @mediawhorefics (103k)
Through Eerie Chaos (102k) For as long as anyone can remember, Old Hillsbridge Manor has always been believed to be haunted. Everyone in the village agrees and keeps a respectful, fearful, distance. New in town after a bad breakup and an internship that led to disappointment rather than a permanent job, Harry Styles figures taking pictures of the decrepit building could be a great new creative project. Or at least a much-needed distraction while he searches for a job and crashes at his parents’ new house. No one warned him about the apparitions though; about the music, the laughter, the people who flicker and vanish when you call after them, the echoes of a past that should be long gone… Harry has never believed in spirits but even he can admit that there’s something weird going on. What starts as mere curiosity evolves into a full-blown investigation and soon enough, Harry finds himself making friends with an aristocrat from the 1920s and struggling with finding the best way to tell him that he’s dead. The Ghost Hunter AU where Niall lives to prove ghosts are real, Zayn is a skeptical librarian and Harry gets caught up in a century-old mystery and catches feeling in the process. Peace In Your Arms (1k) The happily ever after ...
I Could Fall In Love With You by tippitytap / @tippitytap (55k)
If Louis were asked to describe Harry's role in his life, the answer would have always been quite simple: best friend.
Since last year, the answer might have also been: housemate and co-parent to the cats.
What Louis didn't think would ever happen was that the answer would one day change to: the man he was falling deeply in love with.
or: Right at the beginning of a nationwide lockdown might be the worst time to fall in love with your childhood best friend and housemate. But if Louis knew one thing, it was that Harry and he would always find a way through life together.
Carry This Feeling by Awriterwrites, dimpled_halo / @a-writerwrites (49k)
There’s something about Louis Tomlinson that makes Harry feel unhinged. It’s in the other man’s stare, in the way he looks at Harry like he knows he’s hiding something. Like he’s not really all he says he is.
Harry’s not so sure it’s fear he’s feeling. Maybe it’s something deeper. Ever since Louis walked into his house, he’s felt on edge. He’s just being himself after all, and that’s usually enough to get just about anyone to drop their pants. But...it’s clearly not working on Louis Tomlinson. It dredges up something oily and unpleasant inside Harry. He doesn’t like it.
He’s got to lock that shit down tight.
*** Harry knows, objectively, that he shouldn't try to get his ghostwriter into bed. He knows. But...he finds it hard to resist temptation when Louis waltzes into his home and his life and turns everything upside down. And, as it turns out, Louis might just need a little turning upside down too.
Salt in Your Wounds by Halos_Boat / @halohamilton (32k)
Harry and Louis have been with each other since university; together for almost a decade and married for seven years when their marriage starts to take a tumble.
Harry doesn't think there's anything worth saving anymore, so he leaves. Louis doesn't see the use of stopping him, so he let's Harry go.
Beige by blueskiesrry / @blueskiesrry (5k)
Harry finds it hot–he always does–the way Louis is so attentive, but he finds himself more drawn to Niall and Zayn, watching as the two of them whisper softly to one another, having their own conversation in the midst of the larger, group one, one of their hands coming up to run soothingly along the other’s thigh. It reminds him of him and Louis in their early days, so completely enthralled with one another, caught up in the novelty and freshness. There could be twenty people in a room, and he’d only have eyes for one.
He glances at Louis every now and again to see if he notices as well, and Louis watches some, but he mostly watches Harry.
 or: harry and louis are in love on valentine's day. louis pretends he hates it. they host game night for their friends.
Different Than You Do by galactic_larry / @galacticlarry (2k)
Louis and Harry have been friends for a little over four years. Louis has been in love with Harry for most of those years, even if he didn’t want to admit it at first.
What happens when he impulsively decides to tell him?
Don't Call Me Baby by 28sunflowers / @vintageumbroshirt (2k)
A short and cliché roommates AU inspired by To Be So Lonely, where they’re both oblivious to each other’s feelings and Harry gets sad and jealous over nothing. It works out in the end.
Happy Valentine's Day, You Cockroach by allwaswell16 / @allwaswell16 (2k)
Harry Styles, new director of the Milltown Zoo, has a great idea for a Valentine's Day themed fundraiser. For a donation, they'll name cockroaches after people's exes and then feed them to the meerkats on a live stream. He just didn't foresee how many cockroaches would end up with his name...
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andreisvechnikov · 2 days ago
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To Canes Fans
Sebastian Aho, Feb 27th, 2025
I think about the playoff losses a lot. It hurt then, and it hurts now. Each one of them stays with me. It stays with us. We have scar tissue. That’s the honest truth. There’s no point in lying about it. It’s there. And it’s a part of who this team is, of who we’re going to be. And I’m thinking about it now, not because I’m taking the regular season for granted, or because we’re already thinking ahead. It’s actually the opposite of that. This year's team, we don’t want to just be talented, or a tight group, we want to have a real identity. Something that we can rely on, no matter what happens during a month, or game, or series. Something that we know is us — something that is true to Hurricane hockey, through and through.
And that thing is simple: Hard work.
I don’t care at all if you think it’s a cliché.
We’ve come up short six years in a row. And each year we try to learn from it and make changes and do something different. Sometimes maybe we’ve tried to be things we aren’t. It happens. And there are teams all around the league who have certain styles of play, or things they’re great at. And so do we. But what I want is for us to be the hardest-working team in the league. The team that doesn’t leave a stone unturned. First ones in, last ones out. That type of stuff. Because when we break through, when we finally lift the Cup, it will because of all the reps before that moment. All the hard work. That’s the way through.
Everybody is a loser until they’re a winner.
And I know we’re winners.
I know it.
And if you don’t mind, I want to shout out Coach for a second here. Roddy. Nobody gets what it means to wear this sweater more than him. He’s got this connection with fans, man…. It’s crazy. He’s a legend. I remember being eight years old and watching from Finland when Carolina won in 2006. I can still see him and Cam Ward skating around with the Cup above their heads. I got to know Roddy during my rookie year in 2016. He was the power-play coach. I didn’t know him that well and I remember so many flights where it seemed like he never looked up from the film on his computer. He’d spend hours and hours trying to figure it out, trying to put us in positions to succeed. And when he became head coach in 2018, we all got to see another side of him.
He’s an incredible speaker. He just has this way of connecting with the guys that’s completely genuine and honest. He feels like a teammate. Like he’s in the battle with you. And he sets the bar so high. He’s the hardest-working guy every day. In the gym, in the film room, he is the culture. And I wanted to talk about him because I know Canes fans appreciate him. I see the jerseys. I hear the roar when his name is announced. But maybe people around the league look at Carolina and think, How did they build that unique culture down there? Roddy is a huge part of it. 
And I thought about that a lot when I was negotiating my contract in the summer of 2023. When you have the opportunity to be a free agent, it’s a massive moment in your life as an athlete.
But every thought I had that summer led me back to one thing: Canes fans.
I saw the way Roddy was treated, the love he had for the city. I wanted that. My wife and I love living in Raleigh. This is our place. This is where we’re supposed to be. And also: I’m a bit stubborn. I’m not giving up until we win. I promise that. I think I’m a Hurricane for a reason. I know what that reason is. And I will do everything in my power to make it happen.
I think sometimes there’s this misconception about European players. That we don’t care as much about the Cup as Canadians or Americans. I can’t speak for everyone when I say this, but for me, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I watched the Cup final almost every year growing up. I remember after the Canes won, the Ducks won it in ’07. I stayed up past midnight to watch Chris Pronger hand the Cup to Teemu Selänne. I was nine years old at the time, but I knew how important that moment was. The NHL seemed far away, but I knew it was the pinnacle. And I got it in my head that that’s what I wanted. To be a champion — to share that moment with a city. 
And so I’d watch YouTube for hours and hours. Pavel Datsuyk and Patrick Kane were two of my favorites. I was kind of mesmerized by their hands, by what they could do with the puck. As a teenager I’d get out on the outdoor rink with my friends, and it’d be colder than you could ever imagine, and we’d do one-on-ones and two-on-twos until we couldn’t feel our feet.
In Oulu, my hometown, we have so much pride for Finnish hockey. I think my very first hockey memory is being in the Kärpät dressing room with my dad, Harri, and his teammates when I was three or four years old. I remember his D partner cutting a down a stick for me to use. Those vibes in the room after they’d win … it was just really incredible. It felt like a big family to me. There’s something about being with the guys after they’ve given everything out there. I don’t know. That’s just something that I’ve always loved.
I cherish every win we get here in Carolina. We know how hard it is to win in this league. And every time we get one, and we share the moment together, I’m reminded of my childhood and why I play this game. 
That first playoff run we had in 2019 was special for a lot of reasons. That was the first time I saw the real Raleigh. It had been nine seasons since the team had been in the postseason, and I remember before Game 3 of the first round, the city was just alive. When I was drafted a few years before, people told me, Oh, it’s not a hockey town. It’s a football state. It’s a basketball state. All sorts of stuff like that. I don’t know, man. You come to our rink and you tell me if it’s a hockey town. I’ve played all over the world in almost every big rink. And I’ve never been in a building that was rocking like ours was before we got on the ice against the Capitals in 2019. Never. I was standing in the tunnel and I was in the zone. I was focused. We were down 2-0 but both games were close. I felt confident. I was getting ready to get on the ice, and I could hear the crowd, but I couldn’t really hear it, if you get that? Like I’m so in the zone that there’s no noise. But I could feel it. In my legs, in my chest. There was just this thunder going through the place. I can still feel it when I think back on it.
That series, man, beating the Cup champs in Game 7, in double OT…. Awesome. And then we swept New York in the second round and it felt like we were on top of the world. I really fell in love with Raleigh that summer. Like, I got it. I understood what hockey meant to everyone
And that's why it sucked so bad that we couldn't get it done against Boston. That was such a low, after such a high. To get swept.... I'm still pissed about it. 
Honestly, every series loss since then has been brutal. We've gotten so close, and built something special year after year, but close isn't good enough. 
Close sucks. 
But we understand the nature of hockey. Only one team can win the final game of the season. It’s the hardest trophy in the world to win for a reason. The only thing you can do is use the heartbreak as motivation. And so we keep going, we keep giving it our all. And this is where I really need to shout out our fans, because a lot of you have been showing up since the dark days, when we were rebuilding. The cool thing about our building is it's almost like a neighborhood. You come to the rink, and you see the same faces during warmups. The same families. You guys are a part of our group, and you keep us going. 
So we’re here again with a pretty darn good hockey team. I love this group. I really do.
We’re led by our Captain, Jordan Staal. He might not be on the scoresheet every night (he has been lately!!), but he’s our engine. When there’s a big draw to take, or penalty to kill, he’s just got this other gear. When I was a young player in the league, I’d look at him as somebody to be. That effort is how you win in the NHL. The goals and the points and all that, it matters. Don’t get me wrong. But when spring comes around, and the game changes a little in the playoffs…. It’s the stuff you can’t write down that makes the difference. Our captain is that guy.
And we’re a group that’s full of strong individuals, full of fighters. Freddie came back the other week and, man, it’s really inspiring to see how hard he’s worked to get himself back to the level he’s at. It’s brutal to see your brother go down like he did, and all the health stuff he’s had to overcome, he’s been through hell. But he never gave up. I’d see him in the gym all the time and you knew how much he was giving to get back to help us, to be there for Raleigh.
Now we’ve got some new faces in the building, and it’s an exciting time to be here. From the front office down, I think we all want the same thing. That’s a good feeling. It’s never easy seeing friends go. But that’s part of the game, part of life. We’ve got to keep going here through the end of the season and try to finish as strong as possible. We’re taking it one game at a time, doing every little thing to get better and better. And when the time comes, and the building gets even louder, and the games matter even more, I can promise you one thing, Raleigh: Close isn’t good enough.
Thanks for all the love. Let’s make some memories.
—Sebastian
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becausegraf · 3 days ago
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'Why does Blitz care so much about Loona, when he seems to be kind of a self-centered uncaring dick for the most part'
This question popped up on my feed today somewhere, and it made me want to drop some thoughts.
First of all, about Blitz as 'uncaring' well - we've seen him in a protector role with Fizz when they were teenagers - looking out for people and standing in the line of fire for them to take the heat is what he did then, and he still does now. In battle he doesn't hesitate to shield the others and take risks for them if needed, you even see him do this with Fizz on the day they rekindled their friendship.
Heck, even when he was really young, he caved in to emotional manipulation of the 'surely you want to be able to help take care of/do things for your mama'.
Blitz 100% absolutely cares a LOT about the people he's attached to, and it's a massive vulnerable spot for him that gets him all tangled up in his feelings sometimes.
Now, about Loona -
TL;DR: Blitz has been through a completely wrecking, horrible experience, and in Loona he saw someone on the verge of dropping off the same kind of cliff he had to claw his way back up from all by himself. He recognised the danger she was in, and stepped in to save her from having to go through the same thing.
Emotional gushing and elaboration below.
If you do the math on timelines... 25 years passed between his first and second meeting with Stolas. Octavia is 17 at the time the show starts and would've been 16-17 at the time Blitz came to nick the book, meaning ~7-8 years passed between their first meeting and Via being born. Assuming Stolas was *actually* already an adult when she was born, that means he and Blitz couldn't be much younger than ~10 when they first met. Assuming Blitz and Stolas were roughly the same age at the time, that'd make Blitz somewhere around 35 years old, and thus...
about 20 tops, 15 years prior, when things went horrendously to shit.
Some assumptions would be that for the sake of relatability and understanding, imp society with regards to ages and milestones probably works largely the same as ours.
As an adult, nobody *has* to step in and take care of you.
My conclusion is that after the fire, Blitz was basically cast out, left injured and homeless to fend for himself completely alone.
He had to figure things out going through an absolute nightmare of having lost the *only* adult we know seemed to actually be there to shelter and love him, nearly killed his best friend and crush, and gotten rejected by his father and sister (and presumably the rest of the circus troop as well).
Blitz was left with *nobody*, zero zip nada not a single person who'd give enough of a fuck to help him out, at the lowest point of his life. We don't *know* yet what kind of shit he went through throughout his twenties, other than leaving a trail of heartbroken exes in his wake, and getting into the killing business somehow.
The picture painted by a 20-year old with nowhere to go in *actual hell* to me isn't a pretty one. The comment he made that one time about having developed a high tolerance to tranquilizers 'in college'? College of hard knocks, maybe.
So, fastforward to Blitz, roughly age 30 - 5-ish years before the show, assuming Loona was adopted when she was almost 18 and is now ~22 years old.
It seems to me like he was at the pound looking for a hellhound in the context of recruiting someone to help out with whatever (probably dangerous) gig he had going at the time, and then -
He's shown a 17-year old, *about to get thrown out on the streets with nothing, with nobody to look out for her and give her a safe place to stay*. A traumatized, struggling barely-an-adult, about to go through the same as he did: to be ditched to your fate with nobody to turn to and nothing but the clothes on your back as personal belongings. Nowhere safe to go, nobody to reach for.
There was no fucking way he could just let that happen, when he was right there as probably the only person who had the chance to take her in and spare her that nightmare. He was able to catch her before she had to fall entirely through the cracks like he did.
He gave her a safe place to go, shelter and food and basic safety. He was there as someone who'd go to bat for her and absorb her hostility and distrust and anger and fear, because he *knows* what it's like to be in survival mode amped up on pain and terror feeling backed into a corner. He *knows* how being rejected and cast aside fucks with your head. He might not really understand this explicitly the way a therapist would, but he's been there, and it makes him not take her grouchiness and problems personally or as a reason to dismiss her.
Blitz and his loyalty to Loona really feels like a special bond they have as survivors, even if they might not consciously see it that way.
Blitz and Stolas with their respective daughters are very similar in that regard: the older generation that had to figure things out alone and got embroiled in horrible situations as a result of their inexperience and lack of support, and has nothing but love and devotion to give to their youngsters. They both want to give them the entire world they managed to build for themselves, even if what they've made of themselves is makeshift and missing critical pieces. They want to give them a better life, the love and support they never had themselves but understand the importance of.
Stolas and Blitz didn't have mentors to learn 'how to adult' from. They made things up as they went, getting warped and remaining stunted in ways. But they made it through, and they suffered while somehow keeping enough of their heart intact to still be capable of feeling compassion and connection to these special young ladies they want to see grow and flourish.
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