#maybe things are better in other countries?
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I think about this every now and then so here's what I got on this:
Social constructs often are based on things that are either unchangable or very difficult to change. The 24 hour system is a social construct but it's based on something measurable and that varies so little that, for most intents and purposes, it's practically static. Kind of related. Another example: Farming, hunting, or fishing have similar cultures across the world, because we all gotta eat so we learn what exists in the world and how to turn it into food. Fried ball of dough across the world! Seafaring culture shanties (and also work songs) my beloved.
Uncertainty and risk associated with change. People generally agree that the four-day work-week would be better for... well, most things, including productivity, than five days, given how much the world has changed. But even with so many companies and sometimes countries coming out of trials with positive results, it's a slow change, often because a lot of decision-makers would rather stick with what they know, or maybe they want to proceed with a change, but don't know which option to go with. Take this and bog it down with all the details of humanity. The potential loss of the tried-and-true usefulness/benefits of the existing system can easily outweigh the cost and risk of changing to something new.
The inherent tension between standardization and specialization. ISO is a boon. Forcing the peoples you conquer to adopt your way of life has resulted in countless losses, some of which have not been recovered, and others which we're now paying for. Also, I'll use any excuse to bring up this episode of 99% Invisible. Different cultures live in different material realities, which creates different specialized social constructs suited to that place, which inevitably clashes with whoever the superior culture at the time thinks is Best, and so on as we trend towards globalized homogeneity.
You can't have it all. There will come a time where you will have to choose one social construct and its associated consequences over another. And what you value as important will affect that greatly: after you after happiness? Meaning? Contentment? What if you're after compliance with your group? Socioeconomic power? Sometimes there will be social consensus that you did the Right Thing and sometimes not, what then?
That being said, I definitely get the knee-jerk reaction to think "social construct = fake = bad" because when someone says "x is a social construct", it's often in the context of how that construct can change, and that's a threat. For some people, it's as simple as "change is hard and scary", but you might end up having a nice conversation after that. Other times, it'll be "you want to change something that I personally benefit from" and that's more difficult to pick apart.
Personally, I'm not a fan of "most work happens in the morning", the choice of jobs available in the afternoon/evening is very limited and I'm always struggling. Someone convince morning people that night owls are important, too!
man. People get so upset when you call things social constructs. Thinking that if you say something is a social construct that means it's fake and unnatural, and following that, that that means it’s bad. Something being a social construct means that it’s socially constructed. That’s it.
Money is a social construct. Weekends are a social construct. Vegetables are a social construct.
That doesn’t mean it’s okay if my paycheck is withheld or my rent is late. Doesn’t mean I don’t luxuriate in sleeping in on Saturday. Doesn’t mean the nutrients in tomatoes or spinach aren’t good for you.
What it means is that the way we think about things is socially constructed, and could be constructed a different way. Why do we base our society around money? What does value mean outside of money? What is “value”? The way we construct it isn’t the only possible way.
Why is a week a cycle of seven days, and five of those days are for working and two of those days are for resting? Could we organize our time differently? Should we? What would that look like? Other cultures don’t/didn’t have seven-day weeks with a five on-two off cycle. It’s not inevitable. It’s historically and culturally specific.
“Fruit” has a scientific definition but “vegetable” does not. Many parts of plants are culinarily defined as vegetables. Fruits (eggplant, avocado, tomato), stems (celery, asparagus), leaves (kale, lettuce), roots (carrots, potatoes, turnips)… all of these are culturally categorized as vegetables. And nutrition advice is based on this cultural categorization. Is a mushroom a vegetable? It’s not even a plant! Why do we categorize it this way? Why isn’t wheat or oats considered vegetables, but corn is, except when it isn’t? Could we categorize our plant-based food other ways?
Calling these social constructs doesn’t mean they’re bad or unimportant. It just calls attention to the fact that they aren’t inevitable. That they could be constructed in different ways, and that is worth thinking about, and thinking about the value we get in constructing things the way we do.
Gender is a social construct.
Romance is a social construct.
They are based on feelings, desires, and experiences, but how we name and categorize and express and act on them are fully culturally constructed. Other cultures do and have constructed these concepts in other ways. You can like the way we do it now. You can find it stifling. But the way we do it now is not the only, inevitable, inherent, real way. It could be done other ways, organized and categorized and conceptualized in other ways. And that’s not a bad thing either.
#circadian rhythm struggles#i couldn't find a job for about a year#and for that one year i consistently slept well because i was allowed to sleep at dawn and wake up at noon#got a job#two accidents in the first year from driving too sleepy#rather get in trouble for always being late#priorities!!#one day i will take an anthropology class#humans are fascinating#don't think i'm gonna figure anything out but#it's fun to learn#i like systems
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PHANNIE COOKBOOK SIGN-UPS!!
Do you have a really good recipe you think Dan and Phil would enjoy? Consider submitting it to this collaborative phannie cookbook that will be given to DnP at a meet & greet! It will also be available to everyone to download as a PDF.
Family recipes or your favourite dish from your country/culture is a bonus, but it doesn’t have to be that personal. All I ask is that you don’t go rip something random off the Internet right now just to be in the book, I want food you genuinely enjoy!
I’ve decided the most efficient way of doing this is to let you submit up to 3 different options, that way if there are any repeats (and I’m certain there will be) I won’t have to message everyone it concerns to ask if you have any alternatives. Besides, that way I can choose which version gets in based on your other options rather than which one “sounds better” to me, cause I think that would be a little unfair. I also have no idea how many people will actually participate in this yet, which is currently the biggest hurdle in terms of planning. If only a few sign up there is a chance we’ll end up using multiple recipes by some, and if somehow we get too many I’ll have to pick and choose. I do really want to include as many people as possible, but until I actually see the recipes it’s hard to tell what will end up happening.
The main focus of this will be actual food, but we obviously need to include a few desserts, so feel free to submit those as well just be aware the chances of those getting picked might be lower. The same goes for soups, I assume a lot of people have soup recipes and we might include a couple, but for obvious reasons it's a low priority.
Some key things to keep in mind:
Phil is a bit picky and has some dietary restrictions! He shouldn’t have dairy or chocolate and he doesn’t like cheese or mushrooms, among other things. That doesn’t mean you have to avoid these things entirely, but maybe your grandma’s mac and cheese recipe isn’t the best choice
While neither of them is vegan they do eat a lot of vegan food, so we definitely need some vegan dishes. I also think it would be really great if you suggested vegetarian and/or vegan substitutions you know work well with your recipe! That isn’t a must for every dish, but it’s a nice addition where possible
Tragically, Dan and Phil are British, meaning they won’t necessarily have access to all the same ingredients as you. Luckily they are also rich and live in a major city with a lot of options so they aren’t limited to what they can find at their local Tesco, but since the aim of this book is to encourage them to cook we probably shouldn’t be sending them on a scavenger hunt either. I don’t think this will be a huge issue, but if your recipe calls for something you think might be very niche or local to you it might be worth googling it or asking around
The final book will be using UK measurements, but if your recipe doesn’t then don’t even worry about it for now. We’ll get to that later. You also don’t have to worry about typing out the whole step-by-step in detail in the sign-up form, I just need a list of the ingredients and roughly how to prepare it to gauge whether it’s a good fit.
I promise I’m almost done yapping but lastly, about some of the questions on the form - you don’t need to know exactly how long the dish takes to prepare, that will depend on the person or people making it anyway, but we do need a rough estimate. The difficulty level is obviously quite subjective, but I just want to hear how you personally would rank it, and if there is a specific part of the process you think someone who doesn’t cook a lot might struggle with. As for the last question about photos, I’m asking both if you have the time and opportunity to make the food and if you are able to take a good photo of it. Obviously it doesn’t have to be anything professional, a phone camera is fine, it just needs to be well lit and decent quality.
Okay, I think that’s everything-
Here's the sign-up form
The deadline is in a week, at midnight Thursday to Friday CET :)
(I also made a blog for this @phookbook for information and updates! A lot of it will probably still be on this blog, but I'll try to post/reblog the most important things on there for those who want to keep up with everything but who may not want to deal with all the chaos of pseudophan)
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something like love
part - 4
pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd
word count - 5.3k
c/w - language, small amount of angst, some hurt/comfort. also kinda problematic paige but i get her
a/n - guess who’s endo cramps are killing her!! that’s right, me! fml. as usual this is unedited but i’ll come back to edit later! also, i changed paige’s step-dad’s name from tim to dean because i remembered that azzi’s dad is named tim and i felt like that would be confusing lol. also, thank you so much for all the fic recs i got! i’m so excited to start working on them :3
They’re ten minutes into the thirty-minute car ride and nobody has said a word. Country music is playing quietly over the radio, and Dean and Amy keep glancing at each other. But the awkward silence is deadly.
Nobody spoke earlier, either. After Paige dropped the bomb. It was silent for a good minute before Dean had coughed loudly and turned back to the car, getting wordlessly into the driver’s seat. Amy stared at them for another minute or so, giving them no clue as to what was going on in her head other than her ears, which rapidly turned bright red. Finally, she’d shook her head and said, “We will talk about this when we get home,” before following her husband into the car.
As soon as they were both out of hearing range, Paige had sagged, and Azzi’d looked over at her, concerned. Usually, she’d lay a hand on her arm but she wasn’t sure if Paige wanted to be touched, especially by her, so instead she’d said, “Remember, we can leave anytime.”
Paige had nodded stiffly. And then, without looking at Azzi, she’d gotten into the car as well, leaving the door open for Azzi to follow suit.
And now they’re on the road, Paige and Azzi sitting in the back seat like two little kids in trouble. Azzi wants to go on her phone to avoid the awkwardness but her parents raised her to be polite, no matter the circumstances, so here she sits, stiff and awkward while she rides in this car that smells new and fancy and she hates it.
Chancing a glance over, Azzi sees that Paige is still staring out the window, the same thing she’s been doing the whole car ride, and Azzi hates that, too, because Paige only ever gets quiet when she’s bone-tired or truly upset. And Paige got a pretty good nap on the plane.
Based off the way she acted to Azzi’s words before they got on the road, Azzi’s pretty sure she’s doing that thing where she shuts people out because she’s mad or on the verge of tears or thinking too hard. And when she does this she can get mean, because she’s trying to protect herself, and it comes out all wrong.
She’s always done this, been reluctant to open up about the hard stuff, shut out the people who care about her. She and Azzi have talked about it a lot. She once admitted that Azzi was the first person to get her to actually talk about her feelings. But despite Azzi’s way with Paige, and despite the fact that they just get each other in a way no one else ever has, they still have their flaws. Azzi still doesn’t always know the right thing to say. And Paige still gets mean.
This fact keeps Azzi glued to her seat, thinking sidling closer and trying to comfort her best friend would only end badly. Azzi acts like she has a tough skin but often, the things Paige says when she gets like this cut deep, and it ends with both of them hurt. She’s scared to add a fight between the two of them onto whatever will surely go on with Paige and her parents later. So she stays put, even though every bone in her body is telling her to make Paige better.
Azzi has only managed this for maybe five minutes when she glances over again and notices that this time, Paige’s hand is splayed over the middle seat, fingers tapping anxiously, almost like she’s subconsciously reaching over. And that sight alone is enough to get Azzi sliding over, moving Paige’s hand so she doesn’t sit on it. Dean looks at her through the rearview, but Azzi pretends not to notice.
Paige doesn’t look over when Azzi settles in beside her. But she does reach blindly for her hand before taking it and placing it in her own lap, playing with the fingers nervously. Azzi breathes in relief. Paige hasn’t rejected her outright—she can’t be too upset. At least not yet.
They sit like that for the remainder of the ride.
When they pull into the driveway, Paige gives Azzi’s hand a squeeze before subtly shaking herself out and exiting the car. Azzi follows, afraid to be alone with Paige’s parents for even a second.
Before Paige can close the door, Amy calls, “Bring your bags into your room, Paige. And when you’re done come down and talk to us in the kitchen.” There’s a weighted pause. “Alone.”
Paige doesn’t answer, just slams the door shut. Azzi winces.
Azzi doesn’t say anything while Paige opens the trunk, or when she starts aggressively pulling their things out, or even when she slams the trunk shut. No, Azzi keeps her mouth shut, wanting to allow her best friend to seethe in peace, but when Paige slams into her shoulder when she passes her, Azzi doesn’t want to let it slide. “Ow! Paige, what the fuck?”
“Get your bags,” Paige responds gruffly.
Okay, so it’s gonna be one of those times. Perfect.
Despite not wanting to, Azzi does as she’s told, gathering her bags and following Paige to the front porch. She tries not to think about how usually Paige would’ve carried her things for her.
Paige opens the door without a word and they walk inside. The house is nice, open, smells of cedarwood. Paige doesn’t give Azzi a chance to look around, though, instead walking briskly to the staircase, lugging her shit upstairs with impressive strength, and Azzi thanks God she’s in such good shape because she’s practically jogging by the time they arrive at a room at the end of the hall.
“Paige—“ Azzi starts to stay, but Paige cuts her off by throwing her own backpack off her shoulder and dropping her suitcases, as if she’s trying her hardest to make as much a ruckus as possible.
Azzi places her things much more nicely on her usual side of the bed, eyeing Paige cautiously the entire time. It’s the only reason she’s able to catch her before she leaves, anticipating her movements just like she does on the court and darting between her best friend and the door, blocking her.
For the first time in nearly an hour, Paige looks her in the eye, and there’s fire there. “Move, Azzi.”
“No.”
“God,” Paige sighs, “seriously, don’t piss me off. Get outta my way.”
“No, Paige,” Azzi repeats, keeping her feet planted.
Paige stares at her and then shakes her head. “Why are you being so fuckin’ annoying?”
“Don’t,” Azzi says, trying to stop her before she gets too fired up, but it’s already started.
“No, Azzi, you don’t,” Paige snaps. “I knew you were gonna get like this, do your fuckin’ peace and love shit that you think will solve everyone’s fucking problems.”
Azzi swallows hard. It’s been years since Paige went on a rampage like this, and she opens her mouth to stop her, but is quickly interrupted.
“It doesn’t solve anything, dawg. It actually makes shit worse, because it’s so motherfucking annoying having you acting like everything’s fine when you don’t even know.” Paige shakes her head, taking a step towards her. “And that’s the thing, is you really don’t know but you wanna pretend like you do. You don’t know what it’s like to have your mom fuckin’ leave you for some fuckass guy, for her to have new kids outta state and raise them to be hateful just like her. Just like him.”
At this point, Azzi has tears in her eyes, and she attempts desperately to swallow them down. “Did you forget that my dad fucking left me when I was a baby? I’ve never even fucking talked to him, Paige. He doesn’t want shit to do with me.”
“That’s not the same and you know it.” Paige sends her a withering glare, so different from the way she usually looks at Azzi. “You have Tim. You have your mom and your brothers and they all love you so fucking much.”
“You have your dad!” Azzi responds, throwing her hands in the air. “You have Drew, you have Alora!” A tear escapes, against her will, and she wipes it furiously away. “You have me, Paige,” she says, more quietly now. “I love you so fucking much. So you don’t get to take this shit out on me and say mean things to hurt my feelings. That’s not—it’s not fair.”
As soon as she sees the tears welling in Azzi’s eyes, Paige softens, her shoulders slumping, eyes turning on her with guilt rather than venom. “Az, don’t cry.”
For some reason, this makes Azzi more mad, and she turns away to face the door, always having hated crying in front of others. “Well if you say mean shit to me, I’m gonna cry, Paige,” she mumbles, though there’s not much fire to her weak, shaky tone.
“Hey, no, you’re right,” Paige reaches for Azzi’s shoulder, trying to turn her around, but the tears have started now and they’re not going to stop anytime soon so Azzi stays turned firmly away. “Azzi, I’m sorry, I didn’t—“ Paige cuts herself off on a sigh. Her hand falls off Azzi’s shoulder, and for a second Azzi thinks she’s going to walk away, but then a pair of arms wrap tenderly around her waist and Paige’s chin is wresting on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—I was wrong for that, I shouldnt’ve said any of that shit.” When Azzi doesn’t respond, instead burying her face in her hands to try and hide what she’s sure is an ugly cry, Paige squeezes her tighter. “Azzi, please don’t cry, I’m really sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry, for real. I didn’t mean any of it, I was just so scared about my parents and I took it out on you, I fucked up.”
Azzi nods into her hands, taking a deep breath to try and stop the embarrassing flow of emotion. “I know, Paige,” she tries, but it comes out sort of as a whimper and this only makes Paige circle around to stand in front of her, full-on hugging her now, burying her face in her neck and rubbing her back soothingly.
They’re silent for another moment before Paige says, “I’m serious, Az. I didn’t mean any of it.”
Azzi knows this, fundamentally, but there’s still a part of her that sort of cracked at hearing her best friend tell her that she was annoying, that her efforts to help always fall flat. “You shouldn’t have said it, then,” she stutters, letting Paige hold her close even as her face doesn’t come out of its hiding spot.
“I know, I know, I shouldn’t have. You’re the only person who can ever make me feel better and I—fuck. Azzi, I’m sorry, I can’t believe—I never wanna hurt you.” Paige lifts her head out of her neck to nuzzle into Azzi’s hair, pressing a kiss to the spot just behind her ear. “Never wanna make you cry.” She plants another kiss there, and Azzi’s breath hitches. From the crying or from something else, she doesn’t know.
Sighing shakily, Azzi finally pulls her head out of her hands to look up at Paige, placing her hands at her chest almost as if she’s about to push her away. She’s sure her mascara is ruined by now but she can’t bring herself to care too much. “It really hurt when you shoved me outside, too.”
A pained expression flits over Paige’s face, and she nods, looking almost sick. “Fuck. I’m—I’m sorry, Azzi. I’m so sorry. Is your arm okay? Does it still hurt?”
Azzi can’t take the guilty look on Paige’s face and shakes her head no. It doesn’t seem to relieve much of anything.
Breathing deeply, Paige closes her eyes and then leans her forehead against Azzi’s, bringing her hands up from her waist to stroke over her tear-stained cheeks. “I’m sorry, baby,” she whispers, and Azzi’s knows that the nickname wasn’t a slip-up this time, wasn’t just a habit from their pretending. “I’m really fuckin’ sorry.”
And with that, Azzi isn’t mad anymore. Her feelings are still hurt and the things Paige said are still going to replay in her head for quite some time, but at least for now, Azzi just can’t be mad. Because Paige is going through something she could never imagine going through.
“I’m sorry, too,” Azzi breathes, and Paige rears back, but before she can protest, Azzi says, “about your parents. About this whole…situation.” She looks down at her hands on Paige’s chest, and, deciding she won’t be needing to push her away anymore, she slides them up to her shoulders. “It’s shitty and you’re right, I don’t know what it’s like to be in your position.” She shrugs, swallowing back the last couple tears that threaten to fall, trying to regain at least some of her composure. “I’m going to be here for you, okay? I always am.”
Paige nods. “I know you will.”
“And that means,” Azzi goes on, “you can’t do this again. You can’t take it out on me. You can’t push me away. Because that makes it really fucking hard for me to help you, and I want to help you.”
Paige nods again, more solemnly this time, moving her hands back to circle her waist. “Yeah, yeah, I know, and I’m so sorry for—“
Azzi holds a hand up to Paige’s lips, effectively shutting her up. “Okay, stop. I accept your apology, I promise. Just, show me you’re sorry and don’t do it again, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Paige says. “‘Course.”
“Good.” Breathing mostly even now, Azzi pulls Paige in for another hug.
With a heavy sigh, Paige hugs her back. “We’re in it together, hm? From now on, together.”
Azzi rests her cheek on Paige’s shoulder, the weight of her arms around her, the feeling of her skin and bones, so familiar. “Yeah. Together.”
Paige pulls back just enough to look at her, and when Azzi reciprocates, she’s uneasy to find that Paige is giving her that same new look. The perplexed, maybe enthralled?, almost worried look that has taken over her face more often than can be explained ever since the first time after their kiss. Azzi really wants to work out what it means.
But, as always, Paige corrects herself and it’s gone as fast as it arrived. “We’re good?”
Azzi nods, smiling softly despite herself. “Yeah, P. We’re good.”
—————————————
Paige has been downstairs with her parents for nearly an hour.
From what Azzi can hear from her spot at the top of the stairs, it doesn’t sound to be going too well. The three of them keep going from yelling to whisper-yelling to yelling again, and Azzi swears Amy has cried like five times at this point.
When Azzi hears Dean say, “We just don’t allow sinners in this house, Paige,” and Paige snap back, “Do not use God against me right now!” Azzi figures it might be time to intervene.
Trying to come up with something quickly, she pulls out her phone and dials Paige’s number. She hears Paige’s phone ring downstairs, and the three of them go quiet before Paige says, “Just—one second,” and then there’s a click on the other line and she’s answering. “Um, hi?”
“Pretend I’m your dad,” Azzi says, hoping she’s not on speaker.
“What?”
“Just pretend I’m your dad, Paige. Seriously.”
“Uh, okay.” The line gets a little muffled and Paige says, “It’s dad.” Azzi can hear both Amy and Dean let out audible groans downstairs.
“Okay, now tell them that I—your dad—am offering to fly you home.”
“I…wha—“ Azzi can tell Paige wants to argue but can’t with her parents right in front of her, so instead she sighs and the line goes muffled again. “He’s, um, he’s offering to fly me home.”
Azzi only has a second to hope and pray that Amy shares Paige’s competitive nature before Amy is saying, “What? You told him about this?”
“No,” Paige answers, “he just knows how you’re like now. And he wants Azzi and I to have a good summer, not a shitty one with shitty people.”
“If you want to go back to your dad’s, go,” Dean says, and Azzi’s heart sinks. Maybe this won’t work.
But then, bless her evil, horrible soul, Amy is stepping in. “No. Absolutely not. I will never hear the end of it if we send you to your father after inviting you over. We just…” Amy sighs, and Azzi thinks she can hear her start crying again. “We want what’s best for you, Paige.”
It’s silent for a moment. And then, “Let me be happy, Mom. Let me see my siblings. Let me and my girlfriend have a good trip with y’all.”
Dean interjects. “We really don’t believe in this kind of stuff.”
“I don’t care,” Paige replies viciously. “I love Azzi. It doesn’t matter that she’s a fuckin’ girl. I…” Paige pauses, quite abruptly, and Azzi wonders if something happened. But then she hears a heavy inhalation and a quiet, “I love her, Mom.”
Azzi knows it’s for the act, but she can’t help the way her stomach somersaults, hearing the words she’s always wished Paige would say.
“And it doesn’t matter what you think of it,” Paige continues. “I’m happy. My faith is strong. And what goes on between me and God isn’t your fucking business.”
“Language,” Amy says immediately. But then it’s silent for another weighted moment and Azzi can imagine Amy and Dean sharing that knowing, judgmental look of theirs. Her heart races while she waits for a consensus, and she’s sure it’s 100 times worse for Paige. But after a few moments, Amy says, “Tell your father that you’re staying here with us. Your siblings will be home tomorrow morning. The four of us adults have a reservation at a restaurant tonight, and we’re all going to go.”
“Mom—“
“We will try,” Amy sighs. “Azzi’s a nice girl. We will—we’ll try.” There’s something tired in her voice when she says, “Right, Dean?”
No answer. But Azzi can imagine him nodding gruffly, and a moment later, with no more words from any of them, Paige appears at the bottom of the stairs. She startles a little when she sees Azzi sitting there at the top.
“Hi,” Azzi says sheepishly, finally disconnecting their call. “I was eavesdropping.”
Paige stares at her, and then starts climbing the stairs, a small smile overtaking their face. “Thanks for saving me.”
“I told you I would,” Azzi replies, waiting for Paige at the top. “So. Dinner with your parents tonight.”
“Yeah. I guess.” Paige gets to the second-top step and stays there, so she’s just a little shorter than Azzi.
“Dinner as a fake lesbian couple with your homophobic parents,” Azzi clarifies, and Paige laughs nervously.
“Uh-huh,” she responds. “I think we needa nap before that.”
“Oh, yeah,” Azzi agrees, pulling Paige up to stand with her. “That is an amazing idea.”
——————————————
Azzi is rudely awoken to none other than an old Tyler, The Creator song blasting through the tinny speakers of Paige’s phone. Azzi groans, and she blindly reaches out for Paige to turn the damn thing off, but her hands only find cold bedsheets. Annoyed, Azzi cracks her eyes open and tries desperately to find Paige’s phone, realizing in the process that Paige’s side of the bed is cold. Strange, considering they still have two hours until dinner.
Finally, after probably thirty seconds of this stupid song playing over and over again, Azzi finds the phone tangled up in the bedsheets and slams the off button. It’s sort of pointless, though, because now she’s very much awake and will not be going back to bed.
She sits up in Paige’s bed, rubbing her eyes and looking around the room. The sun is shining through the curtains, reflecting off the mirror above the vanity and showcasing the off-white walls, the pink door to the adjoining bathroom—which Azzi now realizes is in use, the sound of the shower muffled through the door. She hadn’t noticed before because Paige isn’t awfully singing to some Mariah Carey song. Other than the water, it’s dead quiet in there. She must be nervous.
Fiddling with the pink sheets, Azzi feels nervous, too. Usually, merely being in Paige’s space comforts her, but this room—it doesn’t feel like Paige. It doesn’t smell like her, and it’s too pink. There’s no purple at all, actually. And the vanity—Paige has never known how to do much else other than mascara. In high school, she needed Azzi to tell her what concealer was for, and to teach her how to curl her lashes. She certainly wouldn’t have use for an entire vanity dedicated to makeup. The walls are also decorated with cringy, sort of Bible-thumping quotes and paintings of flowers. There’s not a single basketball poster.
No, this room isn’t Paige at all and Azzi feels an ache in her heart, thinking about how out-of-place she must have felt whenever she came to visit as a kid. How out-of-place she must feel now.
Without Paige to talk to, and without her room to comfort her, Azzi settles for laying on Paige’s side of the bed, burying her face in the blankets, and there she is—vanilla, like her hair products, and lavender, like the lotion she wears and the linen spray she uses, because it calms her down.
Azzi thinks she just might fall back asleep, enveloped in Paige’s scent, but then the door to the bathroom opens and steam billows out just before Paige does, wrapped in a towel, hair wet down her shoulders. Azzi only has a second to ogle the water drops adorning Paige’s collarbones before she’s spotted, and Paige gives her a curious look. “You still sleep? I left my phone here so the alarm would wake you up.”
“Yeah, no, it did,” Azzi says, sitting up quickly, before she looks like a weirdo snuggling up in Paige’s spot. “Just tryin’ to hype myself up for dinner.”
Paige gives her a commiserating look. “Me too. I’m shitting my pants, for real.”
“That why you couldn’t sleep?” Azzi asks, stretching out her back and swinging her legs over the side of the bed.
Paige hums, bending down to rifle around in her suitcase. “I’on even know what to wear. Apparently it’s some fancy restaurant but I’m not wearing a fucking dress.”
Azzi laughs at that, lifting her hands when Paige shoots a glare over her shoulder. “I’m serious, dawg! And it’s not like I brought a suit or nothing.”
“I think you’re overthinking it,” Azzi says, standing up. “Just wear jeans and tuck a t-shirt or something. You’ll look cute no matter what.”
Paige straights up and gives her a cocky grin. “You think all that?”
“Chill, P,” Azzi rolls her eyes, shoving Paige’s shoulder a little.
“What were you doing on my side of the bed, anyway?” Paige asks, and Azzi can’t help the way she freezes. She’d thought Paige hadn’t noticed.
Trying to cover her reaction, she shrugs casually. “I didn’t know you owned the right side of the bed.”
“Nah, we’ve always had our sides,” Paige shakes her head, taking a step closer. “Why was you all cuddled up in mine?”
“Oh, I dunno,” Azzi says, trying for sarcastic but she can’t even really make eye contact, “maybe I rolled over or something.”
“Please. You don’t move in your sleep.”
“Maybe I do. You don’t know.”
“I think I’ve slept with you more often than I’ve slept alone,” Paige scoffs, taking a step even closer so that they’re practically chest-to-chest. “I know damn well.”
“Okay, seriously,” Azzi says, taking a small step back and stumbling when her thighs hit the bed, “go get dressed, you weirdo.”
“Mm,” Paige says, pretending to think about it. But before Azzi can move away, she grabs her waist and they both fall onto the bed while Paige starts to tickle her like crazy.
“Paige!” Azzi screams, laughing so hard she almost can’t breathe. “Get—off, oh my God!”
Paige is laughing right along with her, and it’s a miracle her towel hasn’t dropped yet. “Tell me the truth!”
“What the…” Azzi giggles and squeals when Paige goes for her armpit, “fuck!”
“I won’t stop ‘till you admit it!”
“Okay, fuck, okay!” Azzi pushes Paige off her, and Paige lets up just enough for her to gasp and say, “It smelled like you, okay? The sheets, they…” Paige has stopped completely now, staring at her with a shit-eating grin on her stupid face, “they smell like you.”
“Uh-huh,” Paige replies, “and you missed me so much while I was in the shower that you needed to smell my sheets?” She jabs her one more time in the ribs, making Azzi shriek, before rolling off her. “You lil creep.”
“It wasn’t like that!” Azzi insists, even though that’s exactly what it was like. “Now, seriously, go get dressed. You got me all wet.”
What Azzi means by that, of course, is that Paige’s damp towel and sopping hair had transferred to Azzi’s own clothes and hair. But Paige can’t be normal about anything, so she looks over and grins slyly.
“Don’t,” Azzi sighs.
“Oh, no, it’s okay,” Paige says, sitting up in bed and pulling Azzi up with her. “You don’t gotta be embarrassed. I know I make a lotta girls wet.”
“Stop being weird,” Azzi says, as Paige bends down once again to pull an outfit from her suitcase.
She begins walking back to the bathroom. “I’m not the one who gets turned on by tickling,” Paige calls over her shoulder. Just before she closes the bathroom door behind her, she says, “Don’t worry, we can take care of you after dinner, mama,” and winks at her.
Azzi’s shoe hits the door just as it clicks shut.
—————————————
They drive to the restaurant in silence.
It’s similar to their car ride from the airport, though it is a little less tense than before. Paige isn’t fidgeting too much beside her and her parents aren’t giving each other looks the entire time. That’s gotta be a good sign.
When they arrive at the restaurant, Amy and Dean start chatting idly, Paige and Azzi trailing behind when they walk inside the fancy building and give the hostess their reservation.
It’s only when they’re finally seated that they are addressed.
“So, girls,” Amy says, her voice all forced cheerfulness, “what looks good?”
“I dunno,” Paige mumbles, and Azzi kicks her under the table before saying, “Have you guys ever been here before?”
Amy looks a little startled at Azzi’s voice, but she recovers quickly, looking over at Dean with a forced smile. “Oh, yeah, we come here sometimes.”
Azzi smiles politely. “What do you suggest, then?”
“Um,” Amy says, and then she sort of jerks and Dean winces, and Azzi’s sure Amy has also just kicked him under the table.
Apparently well-trained, he speaks immediately. “We love the spinach ricotta.”
Azzi hums, then nudges Paige. “That sounds good, right?”
“Uh…” Paige looks like she wants to be difficult, but then she sees the warning stare Azzi is giving her and straightens up a little, “yeah, yeah. Sounds good.”
“Wanna share?”
Paige sighs, but luckily it’s barely audible. “Yeah, sure. Let’s share.”
Azzi leaves herself out of the conversation after that, letting Paige answer her parents’ conversation starters. When the waitress comes to take their orders, Paige gets a glass of wine for the both of them. Neither of them really like wine, but it seems classy enough and it might take the edge off just enough that they can actually get through the night unscathed.
It’s not until their dinner arrives that Azzi is addressed again.
“So, Azzi,” Dean says, out of nowhere, “How’s the knee?”
Azzi’s hand goes subconsciously to her surgery scars. “Doing better. PT’s been going good.”
“Good, good.” He leans back in his seat, and Azzi senses trouble. Something about the way Paige protectively rests her arm across the back of Azzi’s seat makes her think she senses it, too.
“You get injured a lot, huh?” He asks.
Azzi sort of hates the way her face gets hot, hoping it doesn’t show up on her brown skin. “I’ve torn my ACL twice, yeah.”
“And your meniscus, right?” he prods.
Without really noticing it, Azzi looks over to Paige, and that’s apparently all Paige needs to jump in. “Hey, let’s not talk about it.”
“Why not?” Dean asks, scoffing. Amy is looking between the three of them nervously. “It’s hard not to talk about. Azzi, you don’t even play basketball at this point.”
“Um,” Azzi replies, her instincts telling her to get hot-headed but with the way Paige is buzzing beside her, she’s gonna need to keep her cool.
“What the hell?” Paige says, her hand going from the chair to Azzi’s shoulder. She looks at Amy. “Mom, you said this wouldn’t happen.”
“Your father is just asking a few questions—“
“He’s not my fucking dad!” Paige exclaims, and Azzi jerks as she’s pulled into Paige’s side. “I already have a dad! He raised me, he loves me, Mom, and he’d never say this shit about Azzi.” Angrily, Paige stands up, tossing a few bills onto the counter and helping Azzi to stand beside her.
“Sweetheart,” Amy says, reaching limply for her daughter while Dean sits beside her looking far too smug. “Paige, where are you going? We’re your ride.”
“We’ll Uber,” Paige responds, wrapping an arm around Azzi’s waist. “I’m not gonna make her sit through your bullshit because you don’t know how to act like a decent fucking human being.”
“He was just asking—,” Any starts, sounding exasperated, but Paige cuts her off.
“You know what he was doing.” She glares at Dean, who shakes his head, smirking. “We’ll go back to the house,” she sneers. “But if this doesn’t change by tomorrow we’re leaving.”
And with that, she takes Azzi hands and leads them both out into the night.
—————————————
Paige keeps it together until they get to the house.
As soon as they’re stepping through the door, she turns away from Azzi and leans down to untie her shoes. Azzi does the same, but she doesn’t miss the sniffling sounds coming from her best friend.
Paige refuses to look at her when they start heading upstairs, and she tries to make a beeline for the bathroom once they close her bedroom door shut behind them. But Azzi stops her, placing a gentle hand on her arm. “P?”
Another sniffle. And then a quick wipe at her face before she’s turning around, trying to look nonchalant but her eyes are red and her lip is trembling. “Yeah?”
“Paige,” Azzi says softly, and Paige crumbles, hands coming up to her face as she starts crying.
Azzi steps forward to hug her, pulling her down to hide in her chest. “I’m sorry, P. I’m so sorry, this—this sucks.”
“I’m sorry,” Paige replies, voice all small and muffled in a way that makes Azzi’s heart hurt. “I thought they were gonna try…I wouldn’t have taken you out with them if I knew…”
“Hey, it’s all good,” Azzi responds, running a hand through Paige’s hair. “I didn’t mind, really. I’ve heard worse.”
This is apparently the wrong thing to say, because Paige just cries harder. “Fuck, Az, you shouldn’t have to do this.” She lifts her head up to look at her, and Azzi absently wipes her face. “This sucks. It’s the first week of summer and I—I was shitty to you and now my parents, and I—“
“Paige,” Azzi says sternly. “I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I couldn’t handle it. I can handle it. It’s you that I’m worried about.”
Paige nods, sniffling again. “You don’t gotta worry. I’m fine.”
“You’re obviously not fine, P,” Azzi says, and Paige winces, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her shirt.
“I’m okay,” Paige insists. “Really. As long as we do this together, I’m okay.”
She straightens up like she’s steeling herself, and Azzi thinks maybe she should do the same.
This is only the first day of their two-week stay.
It’s going to be a long trip.
@azzibuckets @smiths-fan--13 @ch12334 @makethemhoesmad @the-other-half @rosemariiaa
#azzi fudd#paige bueckers#pazzi#pazzi fics#uconn wbb#wbb#wcbb#fake dating#paige buckets#the people's princess
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Is the belief at all valid that ultimately there is nothing much we in the imperial core can do for the global south (i.e palestine) and that liberation is largely in their hands only? Was there any time historically where that wasn't the case?
Maybe I am just doom and glooming but it really doesn't feel like there is much we can affect (though I still attend protest and do whatever my party tells me to, I don't air out these thoughts because I don't think they are productive)
Primarly I feel like building a base here for when shit goes south is the only thing we can do
My friend, we can't forget that, while imperialism is committed outside of our reach, it is fueled, supported, and justified in our countries. National liberation movements fight in their own frontlines, and we fight in the rearguard. If you have the impression that any real progress is impossible from our position, that is a product of the very limited development of the subjective conditions in your country. You and I have seen a myriad of protests and encampments this last year, which have had overwhelmingly no material effects on the genocide, but this is not inescapable.
In Greece, where the KKE is a legitimate communist party in the eyes of a significant portion of the Greek working class, their organization in and out of the workplace is very capable. In the 17th of October they, co-organizing with the relevant union and other entities (small note because when this happened some tumblr users seemed to misspeak, this action would have been impossible without the help and involvement of the KKE, take a look at the US to see what trade unions do without communist influence), blocked a shipment of bullets to Israel:
And merely a week ago, they blocked another shipment of ammunition meant to further fuel the imperialist war in Ukraine:
The differentiating factor in Greece that is not present arguably anywhere else in Europe and North America is their strong and established communist party, even their presence exerts an indirect influence in the broader working class, communist or not.
So are the rest of us meant to sit in our milquetoast protests and watch on with envy at the Greeks? No, because these are subjective conditions, and we have control over them. Even if most actions we do don't achieve anything materially, we gain experience, and the base for a proper organization of our class is built up. It's not just building that base for when something goes wrong in our countries, it's building a better base for the very next mobilization, the next action, the next imperialist aggression. The student movement of the imperial core is better off now in terms of lessons to be learned after the encampments than if they hadn't done anything (and the utility of the encampments wasn't completely null anyway, some unis in Spain have ceased all economic and academic relations with Israel).
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Several months before the election, my boss, a Trump supporter, was saying something about how the 2020 election was rigged, Trump only lost because "they" (presumably just a general sense of conspiratorial authoritarian democrats in government?) gave all the mail-in ballots to Biden.
And my response to this was something along the lines of "Even if that were true, what do you propose we do about it? I hate to say it, but if you can't trust the process by which votes are counted, then you don't actually believe in democracy. There's no place to go from there other than having you personally count the votes yourself, or to just not have elections altogether."
My position on this is that the make-or-break issue for me this election was weather or not Democracy should exist. There were plenty of other reasons why I voted for Kamala, but that one was the most important. Trump said during a rally he would "fix it so you don't have to vote anymore" he said during the debate that he still does not accept the results of the previous election. There was one party actively advertising themselves as disestablishing the checks and balances of our government as they have been done 2016, and going on to promise rigged elections, and they've laid plenty of groundwork for it:
Gerrymandering favors the republican party in most places. Statistically, the higher the voter turnout, the greater the margin democrats win by. In the entire >300 year history of our government, there have been only 3 times that the electoral vote has disagreed with the popular vote- ALL THREE times in favor of the republican party (granted their platform was drastically different back in 1876 when it benefited Hayes, they weren't the insane racist maniacs they are today, the fact that the other 2/3rds of this deeply anomalous occurrence happened within the most recent 25 years of our country's existence is another anomaly in and of itself). And last but not least, the same sentiment echoed by my boss in the wake of the 2020 election, the conspiracy that the votes themselves simply cannot be trusted, which is difficult to argue and disprove without intimate specialized knowledge of how votes are counted, and which makes it very easy for someone who lost the vote to forcibly claim the presidency, if there's widespread sentiment that he didn't REALLY lose despite what the numbers say.
What I'm trying to build up to here is that, since I positioned free elections as my #1 issue for this election, I cannot very well go around and claim that the election is wrong, can I? I wish it were a mistake. The world would be better off if it were a mistake, but there's no evidence for that, and trying to delegitimize the election is the strategy used by those who don't want there to be elections at all. Or at least don't want elections to be heeded. Was the election fair? No. There was voter suppression and disenfranchisement just like there always is, but it was out in the open, just like it always is, not in privately stuffed ballots or secretly hacked machines. We can fight against the unfairness of the election by trying to reduce or eliminate gerrymandering and the electoral college in favor of a popular vote, and by supporting ranked choice voting, but fighting for those goals is going to be extremely difficult when the presidency (and the Supreme Court for that matter) is held by the party whose power is cemented by those things.
Maybe it won't be for everyone, but it has been a small solace to me that this is the will of the American people, and not a miscarriage of justice carried out by a fully rigged system. It was not the decision of oligarchs that there should not be a democracy, but democratically elected that there should not be a democracy (ironic).
And before anyone reading this gives into Despair at the way I'm phrasing this, I would like to add something else:
I have several friends who are both more politically minded and just generally more intelligent than I, and they belive that, in spite of Trump's campaign promises to the contrary, there WILL still be an election in 2028. He will, most likely, not be able to get so far as fully abolishing elections in a single term. It will be an election less fair than what we just went through, more people are going to be disenfranchised depending on how much of Project2025/Agenda47 gets passed. And I know that the mere existence of voting in 4 years being considered a victory is setting the bar so low it's a tripping hazard in hell. But it is not unrecoverable. In 2020, we turned Georgia and Nevada blue. Trump voters are going to feel betrayed when their grocery prices are driven further up by deregulation and inflation. This election teaches us that regardless of who is really responsible for the hardships of Americans, most voters will simply blame whatever party is in charge at the time.
It's going to take a lot more work, but it's possible.
(I myself regret not doing more to send out calls and texts for the campaign, speak up against misinformation, and just monetarily donate tbh. I intend to do these things when 2028 rolls around, as well as look for other opportunities along the way.)
If your democrat friends start muttering about stolen election conspiracy theories, the time to have a sit down with them and express your concerns is NOW, while you still have a chance to reach them, not 6 months from now when they're fully conspiracy-pilled.
Here's some of the talking points and why they're bullshit:
'10 million votes don't just disappear!' -> Joe Biden's 81 million votes were a statistical outlier, sparked by the recent experience of the Trump presidency. The democrats failed to maintain that sense of urgency, but Harris still got more votes than Hillary Clinton, more than Obama and more than any previous democratic candidate. These numbers are not weird at all.
'The Republicans tried to infiltrate election- and vote counting organizations!' -> yeah, they did, and yet hundreds of independent legal observers didn't see anything go wrong enough to raise any alarms. Independent exit polls are also very consistently similar to the counted votes. Tons of international organizations specialized in this stuff observed the election and didn't see a reason to raise the alarm.
'But I know a dozen democrats whose mail-in votes were not counted!' -> In any election a certain number of votes are registered as invalid because something was wrong with the ballot. In a country the size of the US, that translates to many thousands of votes. The internet allows these people to find each other, creating the false impression that a suspiciously large group of voted was not valid.
'Musk used Star Link to mess with electronic voting!' -> Electronic voting machines are not connected to the internet and dozens of independent media have already debunked this myth. It is absolutely impossible to use Star Link to fake election results.
'There is voter disenfranchisement!' -> This is true. This has always been true, for every election. It's an issue worth talking about but it's not a special secret conspiracy that's unique to this election.
But just as importantly as the facts: sit down with your friend and talk about the anxiety that's behind their conspiracy leanings. Acknowledge their pain and fear. Help them find ways to feel less powerless and regain their sense of agency. Take them to a mutual aid event, involve them in a fundraising event for a marginalized group, invite them to a local community effort. If they spend more time feeling connection and empowerment and less time doom scrolling online, they're far more likely to stay in reality.
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UNCANNY X-MEN #5 From The Ashes
First of all, I should acknowledge that something I've been calling a missed opportunity has received an attempt on page - the X-Men killing in FotHox, specifically Kurt. It's a single line and doesn't make a lot of sense, trying to have cake and eat it too by nodding to it in issue 5 but not meaningfully engaging with the recent past. Kurt did NOT think he was a killer, ever. That's just a bad faith reading of the text. He was in a war against genocidal fascists, come on.
Cool new form for Calico, though.
Kurt putting his sword/s away doesn't quite cut it. Errol Flynn swashbuckling has been an influence on him since he was a child and he's been big on sword usage almost since the beginning of his publication history. It's his thing, and he badly needs personality in FTA. Also, he didn't kill anyone with a sword in Fall, he teleported them into space. Swords parry and block, they disarm and intimidate. They have use outside of combat. They look cool, and it's something Kurt is very good at. So yeah, the barest attempt was made, but it didn't land for me. There could have been space to set it up and sell it too, perhaps by toning down the Charles Xavier/Sarah flashbacks that were ultimately just a fakeout.
Speaking of things that were given lip service in issue 5 and could have benefited from more attention, Jubilee told us who she is - kinda. A panel or two of origin story that was established in the 90s, but nothing about why she's here or what she wants out of life. How she feels about the loss of Krakoa, where the hell her baby, Shogo, is. It fits in with Uncanny's overarching sense of unfocusedness and her role could have been performed by anyone - not a good look for the end of the flagship book's first arc.
We get the resolution to and defeat of Sarah Gaunt. 'She's crazy, always has been' is so unsatisfying. I can't think of any other description. It's nice that we don't have another sin to lay at Xavier's door, but attempted baby trap is not a frequently used trope for a reason. She acknowledges she was lying, but then blames him for the loss of her son years later in a different country - then transfers that hatred to all mutants? Comicsxf have criticised her characterisation as 'Monstrous Mother' and I agree. What was the point of giving it so much space, to the extent that we spent more time in the past than with most of our putative main characters? She beat the shit out of Logan and Rogue the last two issues, nearly killing them - only for Rogue to draw strength from deus ex dead kid and completely wipe her out. It's lovely that Rogue is able to summon empathy for her, it shows us why she's a hero, but taken as an arc she's rewarded with victory despite making bad decisions. Long time readers know Rogue can lead, but I think Gail Simone is going to have to do the work to convince new readers that she's right for this. It's well and good to have moral authority but leading your team to death isn't.
Harvey X was unexpected but felt unearned. Surprise is fun but internal and narrative consistency is better. I thought it was Charles moving people around, because it was signposted. Harvey X being the puppet master felt almost silly as he revealed previously unseen very powerful abilities. Why would he wait for Rogue and Logan to be nearly dead to act? Maybe that's the only time he can act, because he's dead? Idk, at least he didn't scream how hot Rogue is again. He speaks about a sacrifice he's making but what sacrifice is that? Is his power finite and burns him out, Proteus-style? It's not quite clear, and I guess we'll never see him again.
Precognition. Healing. Telepathy.
Gambit and the Eye of Agamotto was a Chekhov's Gun that mostly worked (and made me feel sah smart for calling it.) Remy prays (?) to it and then blows the possessed cultists away. I'm pretty sure Jubilee could make a bigger boom than that (I know she can) but rule of cool wins the day.
These are/were captured and possessed mutants. I hope we see them again, especially after Fawn's introduction in #1. They're not doing this willingly.
Rogue flies to meet Warden Ellis to give her Sarah back, further muddling Ellis' characterisation. I have no idea what she's about now. Nuance is good in antagonists, but for someone who wants to crush mutants with her government mandate she's awfully cooperative with them. No threats, no riddles, no ultimatum, just meekly accepting two threats? I want to give a fuck about the closest thing we have to an antagonist (for a crossover event right around the corner) but there's nothing there! This was an opportunity for something, anything. Gah! I don't understand this writing.
Rogue's threat is interesting, though I have to wonder what she and Scott are going to disagree about. It's implied Jubilee will get captured, and we know Beast already has been. 2/3 X-Men teams have their motivation to wreck Graymalkin I just struggle to see them coming to blows over it.
Rogue and her elocution lessons feel very out of character and came out of nowhere. If it was setup earlier and tied to insecurity or identity that would work, but being introduced and haphazardly paid off in issue 5 baffles me, frankly. Rogue's southern upbringing is never something she's been ashamed of, her angst has almost always been related to her powers. She's a confident woman. A story where she struggles with that could have legs, but that's not the story that's been told. She certainly doesn't need Gambit or Logan to tell her - I'd expect it to be the other way around.
I'm not sure what to make of the images we get from Harvey X's visions of the future. I'll write about them separately if I find an interesting hook.
So ends the first arc of Uncanny X-Men volume whatever. My main issue is that it doesn't meaningfully engage with what came before it, and it doesn't quite manage to establish its own identity either. What is its mission statement and what kind of book can we expect? I don't know, and I hope Gail Simone does. It's not the end of the world, mind you. Following Krakoa was always going to be tough, and the world was going to feel smaller, less connected. I can't help but wonder what it might have felt like without a lot of Charles Xavier flashbacks amounting to nothing. Maybe we'd know more about Kurt or Jubilee, even the Outliers. Ideally that'll be corrected. I don't do number ratings so I'll just say it was okay, higher if you are a Rogue stan.
#x comics#uncanny x men#from the ashes#x men#rogue#gambit#professor x#marvel#comics#wolverine#nightcrawler#calico#jitter#ransom#deathdream#Harvey X#fawn#jubilee#sarah gaunt#warden ellis
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Somethin' Stupid
you meet an interesting man while on a trip to greece, but you can't seem to shake each other. (based loosely on the song by frank sinatra)
tw: none, just enjoy some fluff :)
wc: 845
'this is something short but maybe something i wanna do another part for. i know i have so many things i haven't finished but my mind is a mess of ideas and i need somewhere to write them down teehee'
The warm evening breeze kissed your skin as the sun set in the bustling city of Rhodes Town. Greece had been a lifelong dream to visit since you were young, it never ceased to suppress your need. You graduated college and your parents surprised you with the best gift you’d even been given: an all expenses paid trip to Greece. A week in a place your heart yearned to get to know. It was just as amazing, if not better, than you could’ve ever imagined. The people were pleasing, the water was as if someone had dumped a pile of crystals onto land, and the architecture was breathtaking.
You sat by yourself outside a quaint bar, enjoying the night with a bottle of wine. People would stop to greet you every once in a while. They’d hear your foreign accent and begin small talk about where you’re from. No one bothered you though, a few winks here and there but nothing concerning to you. You were at peace, even closing your eyes a couple times and just basking in the country you’d long for since childhood.
“Excuse me,” A gravelly, British voice spoke. You opened your eyes to reveal a large man in front of you, holding a glass of beer. “Do you speak English by any chance?”
“Yes, are you alright?” You asked him, your eyebrows furrowing slightly. His expression softened and his cheeks lifted into a toothy grin and his ocean eyes brightened. You couldn’t lie, he was quite handsome. He was dressed in the typical floral “tourist” shirt with the top few buttons unbuttoned and pleated khakis. Glasses perched on his nose and his chestnut hair in an organized mess.
“Right, well, I was just wondering if this seat was taken?” The man gestured to the seat across from you where you rested your feet. “Don’t let me interrupt your evening, though. You can tell me to bugger off and I’ll be on my merry way.”
You lifted your legs off the chair, straightening yourself back up in your seat and smiled. “Be my guest.” The man nodded slightly and slipped into the seat.
“Name’s John, by the way.” John held his hand out to you.
“Pleased to meet you, John.” His hand nearly swallowed your whole as you shook it. “I’m Y/N.”
“So, what brings you to Rhodes Town?” John took a sip of his beverage and leaned back in his chair, perching one of his legs on the other.
“A gift from my parents. I recently graduated and they knew how much I needed a vacation to myself.”
“Well, cheers to that.” He lifted his glass up, intending to meet yours. “May the world bring abou endless opportunities.”
You clicked your glass against his, the two of you drinking to your new found freedom from school. You peered at him from your glass, his eyes already on yours. It wasn’t an awkward glance, it was comfortable, as if you’d known each other for decades. John’s presence was welcoming, you had nothing to fear from the man across from you.
“And you?” You say as you set glass back down, crossing your legs over one another. “What brings you here?”
“Well, like you, to escape for a little bit.” He clears his throat. “My job can be drawn out and draining. I needed a change of pace, a little time to myself finally.”
“And what might that be?”
John chuckled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’d love to disclose that, but I’m afraid if I do, I might have to kill you.” Your breath caught as the man’s features hardened suddenly. The air grew slightly thicker until John began laughing, the sound vibrating your eardrums. You let yourself join after a beat, relaxing once more. His laughter ceased, letting the atmosphere fall still once more.
“I’m only joking, love. I’m a Captain in a special ops unit, always got too much to handle and not enough time for pleasure.”
“Well, cheers to us, Captain.” You nodded to him. “To peaceful nights and careless self indulgence.”
John mimicked you, bringing the drink to his lips, sculling the rest of his beer. Silence settled between the two of you once more, night in full swing as more townsfolk gathered around the busy streets. It was noisy, yes, but nothing could make his moment more comfortable. You’d almost forgotten your company, too busy basking in the moment.
“Aren’t you just a sight?” You turned your head back to face John, his words catching you off guard for a moment. His eyes burned with something deep, awakening a sort of longing left dormant for so long.
“Apologies, It’s just been a while since I’d been able to admire someone so ravishing.” Your heart swelled with desire, something you’d neglected with your studies. Your chest burned leaving you almost breathless. Maybe it was the wine flowing through your veins, making you feel weightless in that moment, but the question rolled off your tongue all too easily.
“Do you wanna get out of here?”
#call of duty#cod mw2#john price#captain price#captain price x reader#john price x reader#captain john price#cod x reader#captain price fluff#cod fluff
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That's not answering my question, though, which is how making it as a robo taxi is cheaper than as a regular car; you've listed a reason Tesla can make cars cheaper, unrelated to being robotaxis. If the one-piece method is cheaper, it would work for regular cars or this, and there isn't a clear reason why it would be cheaper if designed for robotaxis.
Now, "Tesla uses the new one-piece production to cut costs in production" is a possible advantage; if I believed it was around the corner it might help to explain things (though still not enough to justify 'half the fucking car market') but, well,
I kinda doubt the one-piece production method/the $25,000 Tesla was economically viable. Because if it was, they'd be selling $25,000 Teslas! The demand for them is gonna be higher than the demand for robotaxis, because Robotaxis are by definition substitute goods for driving your own car; if you take a RoboTaxi that's like splitting the cost of a car/gas/etc with a dozen other people. They'll need less RoboTaxis for the same number of people*, so if it's economically viable for robotaxis it's more economically viable, given economies of scale, to sell $25,000 Teslas.
Now, there's a possible explanation for all of this: maybe Elon thinks Self-Driving is right around the corner and it's better to focus efforts on designing the new giga press and production lines for robotaxis; and he doesn't want to do both because the upfront cost of doing so is too high even a trillion dollar company cannot raise the funds/Robotaxis would cannibalize cheap Teslas but not expensive ones. It's possible!
But it's a lot of different pieces of supposition, which means they're less likely in concert. And again, all of this needs to be compared to a huge implied Expected Valuation. The market implied probability is just wicked high.
'*(there could be market growth, in that people take more trips with Robotaxis/people in high density areas in low income countries use RoboTaxis who couldn't afford a car; I do not think this is comparable to market from current car owners in developed counties)
I'm gonna be honest. I would simply not bet against Elon Musk. It's fine not to like him! He can be unlikable. But I don't think there's an interpretation of base reality that's like.
'Elon Musk is bad at getting things done, accomplishing his goals, etc. The guy's a loser.'
It makes you look really stupid when you say things like this. On account of how obviously wrong you are.
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okay i’m sure this is something that’s been talked about a lot and i want to share some thoughts i’ve been having recently
why don’t all bathroom stalls have support bars in them?
i’m not physically disabled, but i follow a lot of online creators who are (because the neurodivergent and disabled communities often overlap, but also because i want to understand perspectives different than my own) so i do my best to keep accessibility issues in mind when i notice them (like when a building doesn’t have a functional elevator or automatic doors)
that said, i am in no way qualified to speak on topics specific to physical disabilities, so if any of y’all are and would like to contribute, please do!!
i am currently in a boot for a sprained ankle, and it’s become significantly more difficult to stand up from a seated position. like, for example, in the bathroom. it’s not impossible, but it’s difficult to do without some kind of support. so when i’m in a stall with support bars, i’ve been using them.
and it just made me start thinking. support beams are such a simple accommodation. they don’t take up much space. i don’t imagine they’re terribly difficult to install.
i currently need a little bit of support to stand up, for a month or so. many people need a lot more support to stand up, for their entire lives. why aren’t these bars more common?
or honestly, even better, just make more accessible stalls. i still don’t understand why so many bathrooms (some with 10-15 stalls) only have one accessible stall. i don’t personally need the space of an accessible stall, even with my boot, but i still think we should still have more than we do.
again, i’m not physically disabled, so if i’ve misphrased, misunderstood, or overlooked anything, please let me know! i want to hear other people’s perspectives on this, because i’m just one person and there are a lot of things i don’t understand
#also this is from an american’s perspective#maybe things are better in other countries?#the bathrooms in London and Paris were a lot nicer than they are where i live#bee’s thoughts#disability#disabilties#disability accommodations#physical disability
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People saying "Don't boycott Eurovision or Israel will win!!" - they already won the second they got past the semifinals. Israel is going to be the winner of this year, especially with the way things are going down at the moment.
You wanted Israel to not win? You guys should've made sure they didn't get to the finals to begin with- though I wouldn't doubt EBU would've changed some votes or pulled some bullshit to add Israel in the finals regardless of making it or not.
#eurovision#Personally I think just voting for other countries and ignoring Israel would've been a better strategy#Just shut down the TV during their performance and not stream their song. Show no support for Israel#Now? Now is tooooooo fucking late to complain about things. The jury will make sure Israel is the winner (:#If there's even any Eurovision with what's going on right now#Sorry i'm just so annoyed over the people being like 'stop boycotting Eurovision and vote for any country so Israel won't win!!!!' like girl#that should've been done during the semifinals not NOW#Also this is not how it works??? We should at least agree to one specific country to win and vote for them just just to have a slight chance#At this point I would be fine even with a Switzerland win just so Israel doesn't. But I doubt it#eurovision 2024#esc 2024#Also funny how it took Netherlands to be disqualified for people to actually lose their shit over things lol#It tells a lot#Lowkey glad it happened. Maybe that will actually make the boycott be worth it and do something#It may be the push that this whole thing needed yk?
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me trying to hype myself up to posting online again despite The Horror
#so turned out taking a break was both needed and the worst thing I could have done#having Anything to do day to day was the one thing keeping my brain from engaging nuclear meltdown lol#was trying to tell myself if the election went well maybe there'd be a chance for someone like me and it'd be worth trying again#but uhh no need to explain the flaws in that logic lmao#still stuck in the same place with no where else to go#and like#the more I learn about the scale of history the more I understand that relief won't really come until long after I've died#not at a scale needing to overcome the sheer ocean of grief and blood my country is built on and continues to feed year by year#have to live with it now somehow#its not liberating to acknowledge#but there's no such thing as miracles so I guess I'll stop hoping for better#that kind of thing has to be built by hand#really feelin that pingu rn#anyway time to stop whining I gotta start planning to post art or something#might need a second blog for my other non-nature-y artwork#trying to figure out how to make things manageable#maybe will make something silly just to break the ice#rompopolo calls
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First and foremost I want to start off by saying that I had planned to respond to this all on the day your reply was sent to me. My thoughts were already spiraling with what to say, both out of eagerness and fear, because I didn't expect you to ask me a question directly—So I hope I can clear up a little bit as to why I think anime appeals to such a broad audience, including myself.
Whether or not it will make sense to you or be satisfactory, I can not guarantee.
Hopefully this doesn't become crazy long or sound like a ramble, but I can't guarantee that either. 😅
I am by no means an expert on Japanese culture. Heck, I am no expert on western culture and I live in America. So when you say anime isn't really your thing, mainly because you don't understand the culture of it, I think that's actually pretty valid. Maybe to others who have read or will read this post, your words came off strong, but at least you were honest. Much of what you said, believe it or not, is something I think plenty of people can agree with to some extent; whether you're an anime fan or not.
I do think it's possible that we as people have the capability to understand or learn to understand things that aren't necessarily from our culture. After all the world is so vast and there is beauty in our differences, and we our often encouraged to embrace what sets us apart. Of course we, at our core, are made of the same stuff, so certain ideals, values and messages might shine through no matter where they come from. I think anime can address grander themes like love, death, faith, ect. and even point to truth, but it might either be one facet of the story or you have to dig a little deeper to find it. I've seen people attempt this, so i think it's possible. It just requires some work. At least that's how I see it.
Anime is a unique medium to navigate because it 100% is coming from a country that is different from my own in many ways, but I mean this more so in the small intricacies. Again, I am no expert, so what I say might be a bit inaccurate or plain wrong, but from what I've come know, anime is used as a means to counter things in Japanese society. An example of what I mean would be how many of the characters in anime, especially school students, have hair and eye colors that aren't natural. The designs in general can be pretty out there, sometimes looking wacky or just over the top, it could never be replicated in real life unless it's cosplay (probably). You're might be wondering why I mentioned that, since anything animated could do this as well, and you are right. It's not inherently special.
With anime though, I think it has more to do with the fact that in Japan, there is a tendency to keep things uniform. To keep things orderly, rather than drawing attention to yourself, dressing or acting in ways that are deemed inappropriate or out of the norm. Anime is not a replica of the day to day Japanese society, unless a particular show is crafted that way, so even some of the things going on in a story could even be seen as odd or uncommon or dare I assume, scandalous. Anime can be criticized by the very people responsible for it, so even when they KNOW the culture, they as the audience can react to it in many ways. I am sure someone else could explain this much better, perhaps understand it much better, because I typed all this and I am beginning to wonder if I lost you and I haven't even addressed some of your comments directly. I apologize.
All of that above is basically to say, YES, the culture is tricky and unless you're willing to try and see why things are the way they are when consuming something as popular as anime, I don't think you'll have the best experience. In my case, I will admit, I had a somewhat complicated relationship with anime. I still do but not for the same reasons as back then, when I was still a child and witnessing all this for the first time. I was familiar with shows such as Pokémon and (English) Yu-gi-oh! which are rather tame in comparison to...so many other anime out there. But I wasn't a fan, yet. I hadn't really dove into the anime pool, much less felt like exploring it, due to my upbringing and general reluctance to watch anything because the way anime looked was so different than what I was used to.
Until one day, finally, an uncle got me to watch a show that is generally geared towards children. I liked it, I liked the story and while the art wasn't as weird as it could have been, it took some getting used to Then he thought I could handle one that was for an older audience but not terribly grotesque or sexual or dark. It did have violence, although I think it was mostly justified given the subject matter. Shameless advertising, I think you might want to give this one a try, it's called Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. I think there's plenty of lessons to pull from it, it isn't purely made to entertain just because.
I'm getting off track, so let's try to get back to your grievances.
So, I don't understand it very well. I don't understand why everyone's screaming. I absolutely don't understand the character designs. I don't understand the use of blushing. I don't understand the humor or the drama. I don't understand why one interaction can take several "episodes," and the dialogue is unrealistic the entire time. People don't talk like that. And it would be one thing if people talked in an unrelatable cadence once, as part of the "style" of a film or show, but it's across the board for every anime I've seen.
I think I and many other self proclaimed anime fans, got into it on the basis of the art style drawing us in. Yeah it was weird and new but it could also be fun and incredibly pretty. Also, there's real dedication and skill put into many anime I've seen, at least when you're looking at the scenery, food, and non-human related imagery. So if you're an art person or just like looking at things that are well made, that could certainly explain part of the reason why people watch anime, whether or not the designs make sense. I suppose that is also aesthetic choice as well.
So you could say, before we (The fans) understood anything about the culture, or why things were being done in the story, we just accepted it as different and went along with whatever was going on, for, entertainment and fascination. That includes things like the screaming, the humor, and even those strange speech patterns.
It definitely catches people by surprise. Even to this very day, while I am aware of these different things, I can still get annoyed or stunned by some of the anime antics. I think all the screaming has to do in part with anime being understood as a medium where you are expected to exaggerate and use excessive emotion to sell whatever you're going for. It doesn't have to be anything related to love, a battle or something super sad—That's just the acting. In comedies they can really go over the top, and that can be done as a way to sort of poke fun at anime as a whole. Then of course, if I went deeper, I might find that this ties back to ancient forms of storyteling and playacting. I can't say for certain if screaming was ALWAYS apart of how Japanese performed, however, I wouldn't be shocked by it. Same can be said about drama. Every culture has their own form of drama, each distinct in how they demonstrate it, and Japan is the same way. Their show of humor is probably a mix of doing things because its fiction , "anything goes in fiction" + certain tropes being tied once more to what they've gotten from their storytelling tradtions. Or maybe the tropes aren't even that old, they were just created first in japan and have been utilized since. Like when characters fall on their face and their legs stick up when somebody says something stupid.
As for dialogue, I can't quite figure it out myself. I assume the japanese speak more formally than your average person ? Although there is no way of actually knowing that. In anime especially, I notice they can speak in a way that just feels...weirdly poetic. Then you also have those weird breaks or pauses in sentences. Which does work if the situation calls for it, I think, but even I find myself saying something like "please just talk normal, you're doing too much 😭," every now and then. Also let me tell you, I think everyone at some point has COMPLAINED about anime taking multiple episodes to resolve an issue or reach a much needed discussion, especially when discussing romance anime. I've chopped it up to being for these reasons:
It heightens the drama and makes the audience anxious to see what happens. It's trapping you to stay for the rest of the show.
It's part of the plot, somehow. This scene can't happen until something else happens and that can drag, whether intentional or not.
I suppose you could say that there are situations in real life that would play out like this. A person who is shy or hates confrontation just keeps things to themselves, just doesn't bother to address the issue at hand and the more they leave it alone, the worse it becomes. Anime just makes a bigger hassel.
Are these all possible reasons? I doubt it. Still, I think they apply the most.
Now I'm going to merge what you said at the beginning and what you said near the middle.
Otherwise, why is there so much gratuitous cleavage? Whats with the emphasis on violence violence violence? Plus cursing? Why are all of the "attractive" characters a little-girl stereotype or a sexy femme fatale stereotype? And what's with the feminine looking dude characters? Why does one fight take six episodes? Why does one "romance" last an entire show but consist of nothing except gasps and blushes?
You sure picked some hot button topics to ask about if I can dare say so. I call them hot button topics because whether you're a long time anime fan or short time fan or just not a fan at all, many of these things have been discussed before...usually in great detail lol. Especially the part about women, there's quite a few video essays and conversations surrounding these seemingly common yet unnecessary things. There's all the feminism and patriachy stuff and I am not dismissing it or saying it isn't important to consider, but some of that I just...don't think matters to some degree. If I were honest, a lof of those big cleavages and sexy stereotypes exist because the audience (mainly men) want it and like it, and it pertains to a fantasy. Same with the little girl looking characters that can be super old. I AM NOT SAYING IT'S A GOOD FANTASY. But it exists. Additonally, however, it comes down to art style and aesthetic. Anime can do whatever it wants, thus you can design the characters however, based on what's popular, based on what you (the creator) wants and likes. Or they are filling some sort of quota, you gotta have the comedic relief character, the moody character, the pretty girl, whatever. The feminine looking dude thing is its own archetype and has its own history, one I couldn't really explain because I am not well versed. But that too, is catering to someone out there.
In regards to how blushing is used...my dear, I think that is, once more, an art choice. Many people know anime by its cutesy big eyed designs. Usually, you'll find a character blushing too. Typically it is used to show embarassment, shame or excitment. It probably adds to that cutesy factor, as well as exaggerating that emotion being expressed. Then there are moments of crying, or just other occasions when blushes are used, and I gather that is done because in real life, people can get super worked up. They can get all hot and red in the face or they get so flustered their cheeks show it. Still, this is not wholly accurate and thus, it's just artistic choice to add blush for a specfic moment or just cause. The gasping...yeah I don't quite like that either. Or excessive violence or cursing.
Depending on WHAT the story is, I'd argue you might need that violence. Could be about war, could be about surviving from a great evil, essentially anything that involves fighting. But even I have to admit, it can go...overboard. Or feel like whoever was making that fight scene was having a little too much fun yk? If you have certain kinds of characters who are just rough and angry or have gone through something traumatic, this may result in a potty mouth. On average I am surrounded by adults and teens who just make a habit of swearing, or its just part of the vocabulary. Anime is no different it seems.
Just cutting in to say that, whoever recommended you watch Demon Slayer and Naruto or whatever else- they showed you the "mainstream" shows. Nothing inherently wrong with that but anime is filled with all sorts of shows and some can go outside the norm of what is popular. Maybe you were shown the wrong stuff or it wouldn't have mattered either way because it wouldn't have what you're seeking. Unfortunately.
You aren't wrong in saying some values that are perceivable in the animes you've seen might be ones that the West is adopting and trying to instill in us. I wish you had been a little more specific in what values you mean so I could have a better handling on whether I agree with you fully or not. Even so, I think I have an idea of what you're saying. Not everything I see in anime I agree with or think matters or should be something to encourage, and that isn't me trying to be disrespectful to the culture but it's true.
I also find it odd that so many young Western men are drawn to anime. I don't think it's an awesome thing. All the anime I've ever seen: Demonslayer, Naruto, etc. doesn't have anything particularly good for them in it. There's a ton of violence, of egos getting slung around, yelling, and terribly long gratuitous brain-numbing pacing, along with sensual gasping and drama-for-drama's sake. And I know my young male friends are no more Japanese or understanding of Japanese culture than I am. So what are they getting out of it? They can't ever tell me.
This is perhaps the hardest part of the replies because I know what I think and have come to know about this appeal young men have for anime and it isn't all...good. Neverthless I will try to be fair to them. In the first place, I think men have a tendancy to like most things with battles and cool powers and just general rough housing. So if anime has that, plus a story compelling enough to draw them in, understanding the culture doesn't matter so much as does watching the characters kick some butt on screen. That just sounds like watching something for entertainment, it just gets a rise out of you and I think that's what it usually is. I think the closet equavilant that comes to mind is superhero and action films. Is the average guy watching for a message or because it's exciting and bloody and there's a ton of bodies running around?
another thing...people like to see themselves in the characters. This happens me sometimes as well. Maybe whoever is on screen right then and there, is seen as relatable to the young man watching and he starts to imagine himself like the character or indentify with certain traits, certain situations. I am not saying that this is always good or even healthy, mind you, but it happens. And I think whoever is making the anime(s) is aware of that. This can be said for girls too but that is a different discussion.
Many men are watching anime for the eye candy too, that being, the female characters. I don't think I need to explain to you what can be done and thought about when characters are made to invoke sexual desires. It can be explicit or implicit but it's still there and that comes with its own issues. I'm not trying to sound like some kind of prude or judge, I've dealt with my fair share of strong feelings with characters, but I wouldn't call it a good thing. Much of what was said in this response to my ask, I've been convicted about because I know that deep down, not all of it is really doing anything for the audience, we're just here to have a good time with whatever is on screen. It can feel very shallow.
I could probably say more but i think this is enough. I hope this makes sense, I jumped around a lot, not sure if I answered every question the best I could. I wanted to try and provide context. This conversation hits home in some ways so that is also why this reply is long. My brain is fried though and this took forever to type, but just know, if you don't think you could ever like anime, that's fine. It an acquired taste. You might be better off away from it.
Hi, not to sound like a creep but I was trying to find this one reply to ask about the Chosen series because I remembered something and I wanted to see if you're the one who said it. But then I couldn't find it. Stumbled into this one post where you said your least favorite medium is anime and I'm quite curious about that now. I don't generally have an issue when people say they don't like anime, as a whole, but I try to understand why. Of course even if you just said "I just don't like it" then I could respect that too, since I can not push it.
I think it's like a language I don't speak. Even the English-dubbed versions. In anime, it's not made by people in my culture, for my culture. So, I don't understand it very well. I don't understand why everyone's screaming. I absolutely don't understand the character designs. I don't understand the use of blushing. I don't understand the humor or the drama. I don't understand why one interaction can take several "episodes," and the dialogue is unrealistic the entire time. People don't talk like that. And it would be one thing if people talked in an unrelatable cadence once, as part of the "style" of a film or show, but it's across the board for every anime I've seen.
There's nothing wrong with that, per se. Like I said, it's just made for a different culture, one I'm not in. And that's fine. Could I learn it? Could I engross myself in it until I feel what the media is trying to make me feel and get what they're trying to say?
Yeah. I could.
But most often, it doesn't feel worth it. It doesn't feel like the anime I've seen is really trying to point to a significant truth or remind people of goodness and beauty, so much as it is pointless entertainment.
Otherwise, why is there so much gratuitous cleavage? Whats with the emphasis on violence violence violence? Plus cursing? Why are all of the "attractive" characters a little-girl stereotype or a sexy femme fatale stereotype? And what's with the feminine looking dude characters? Why does one fight take six episodes? Why does one "romance" last an entire show but consist of nothing except gasps and blushes?
Not a fan.
I have seen one or two anime that clearly have a point. They're Studio Ghibli, though.
And again, I'm not saying anime's have no point in general. I'm saying I'd have to understand the culture to get the point, but the culture itself seems to be based around values that I don't find valuable. And a lot of those "values" if I'm reading them right are the ones our Western culture is starting to push down throats more and more, and I don't like those, either, so there you go.
I also find it odd that so many young Western men are drawn to anime. I don't think it's an awesome thing. All the anime I've ever seen: Demonslayer, Naruto, etc. doesn't have anything particularly good for them in it. There's a ton of violence, of egos getting slung around, yelling, and terribly long gratuitous brain-numbing pacing, along with sensual gasping and drama-for-drama's sake. And I know my young male friends are no more Japanese or understanding of Japanese culture than I am. So what are they getting out of it? They can't ever tell me.
Maybe you can?
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hey uh im not coming back just yet I just wanted to say I love yall
#Also I'm kinda scared I won't be coming back#Like#I love all my moots but I just dont have the urge to post things or look at other people's posts anymore#And it's making me sad#Like I took a break for 2 days and suddenly I don't need this place anymore#Maybe it's for the best for now because I can't anymore with all the “fuck israel” posts#Like yeah I know#I know everyone hates my country#But whats going on isn't my fault#And what's going on hurt me and I lot of people I care about#And yet all I see day after day is fuck Israel boycott Israel fuck Israel boycott Israel ban Israel from the eurovision fuck this fuck that#Nothing about the people who were murdered and are still dying on my side#Nothing about the hostages who are being raped and tortured in there for half a year now#Only “bUt ThEy WeRe tReAtEd WeLL”#And loads of bullshit fake news#I'm sorry#But it's too much#And it's not my fault#So for now I'll be a bit quieter#I'll still reblog a but every now and then#But until things are a bit better I'm fucking off#Goodbye
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#hhhhh I'll probably delete this later but if i don't physically put these thoughts somewhere I'll maybe explode.#but fuck man. shit sucks fr! I highkey think I can't go to work tomorrow but yknow how it goes!!!!#I'm caught somewhere between finally being taken seriously about my health issues#and having the most wretched mental health crisis#like on one hand fantastic! I'm being taken seriously now its gotten to the point where I cant fucking walk normally#but on the other hand oh my god holy shit. i had to get this bad???? and I'm worried. i know theres shit so much bigger than me rn going on#but I'm worried about my health. especially when I've been trying to deal with it for the better part of like.... 5 years#since i was 19!!!!#I'm 24 and worrying about whether or not I'll actually walk about with 0 pain ever again isn't that fucked.#so that's bittersweet. ive got physio tomorrow. blood tests next week#an ultrasound coming up#its ultimately a good thing im being taken seriously. if not a terrifying acceptance that everything ive been feeling has been real and#well. bad.#and like with this right is the crash of my mental health. just a fuckin nosedive man.#i have a relatively stressful job i felt out of my depth about and thus guilty for but now its a role that I've approached in constant pain#for the last few months.#i can't deal with that actually! lots of stress! lots of pain! lots of mental pain over my physical condition! my job grinding my soul!#aaaaa!!!!!!!#like i dont WANT to be unemployed either#I'd much rather be uhhhh employed! and able to save money towards actually getting Help™#but I've got to admit that i hurt too much. and its consuming my whole fucking brain.#but I'll go on#ive got my first trip out the country solo next week!! im heading to san Fransisco!!! im excited.#but I'm worried for the inevitable moment where my pains catch up with me#ill surpress it while I'm out there. try and remind myself to have a good time. return to the uk and feel a weeks worth of pain#and even THAT sucks to consider#but i should stop#rambles
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I was watching this Chinese variety show just to see Ricky and Zhang Hao but then I saw one of the hosts was Zhang Zhenyuan and now I want to cry… 😭💔
#He... Teens In Times deserve better you know?#I keep trying to accept that this is how China is and C-Pop doesn't need to do anything that K-Pop and J-Pop do but#The more I think about it the more unfair it seems... 😢#These Chinese idols train so much and when they debut they just don't get promoted#They don't releaze anything on YT and they just go to variety shows alone and this is it?#That's unfair! This is not why they trained for!#No wonder there are so many Chinese idols in K-Pop it's like “if you want to debut you have to learn Korean and live in SK”#Which is fine if they like SK but what if they don't want to leave China/Taiwan/Hong Kong?? 😭#Guys there's Chinese idols even in J-Pop nowadays!! They really said “I'd rather debut anywhere but China”!!#Again... not saying these idols don't like Japan. Just that they CAN'T CHOOSE whether they want to debut abroad or in their own country!#Even if C-Pop tries to do a little bit like K or J-Pop (ex.: BOY STORY BOYHOOD WayV and the now dead EXO-M)#Their companies DON'T PROMOTE THEM!!! They literally don't invest any money to promote their groups!!!#I'm still not over Asia Super Young and Loong9 in case you didn't notice... 🥺#But... Yeah... I just wish Teens In Times got more rep and that I could just turn my TV on and watch them TOGETHER#And that they had MVs and on YT and etc. (Basically everything I've seen J/K-Pop idols do)#But maybe that's just the K/J-Popper in me and I have to accept that China is China and they owe us nothing#Just because we're interested in East Asian culture doesn't mean they have to all do one thing like the others just to please us!#I will still (try to) stan TNT as much as I can (and as much as they allow me since I speak no Chinese)#Specially ChengXin 🥺 my darling#not kpop or jpop
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so wait, since i was just reminded of the recorder thing donna talked about in the giggle, i now have a question for uk ppl: do yall learn the recorder in school? like in a music class? and like how much do yall have music class over there?
#this is a very interesting topic for me as a music educator from the us#ik a guy from ireland and he said there was no music class in schools for him and like not the same country BUT same island#(as northern ireland. not the others in the uk but still)#and its so wild and fascinating music education is a fascinating field and the way we do it in the us seems to be largely vvv unique to us#for clarification on how things are different so ppl have a better idea on how to answer my question lol:#in the us music class is standard in elementary schools and most places have general music until abt 5th/6th grade (year 6/7)#(general music = basics- music games learn recorder SOME notation-reading; often classroom instruments eg boomwhackers claves maracas#orff instruments if you're lucky/from a school district that isnt poor. also some world music)#its less standardized after that and not every school will have music after middle school but concert bands and choirs are both huge here#choirs start right on the heels of general music classes (sometimes start earlier + students elect to be in choir instead of general music)#bands USUALLY start in 4th grade (year 5) but sometimes can be later 5th/6th (year 6/7) or even 7th (year 8) (WAY less common)#depends on the state generally 4th is most common i think (choirs start at around the same time i think so probs 4th but choir isnt my area#orchestras are weird bc theyre a lot less common but can commonly start younger bc of one of the big approaches to music ed (suzuki method)#so like maybe 3rd grade (year 4) maybe 4th w/ band (year 5) but i have a friend who teaches at a private school#& said they have 1st/2nd graders (year 2/3)!! orchestra is also not my area though#also marching bands: vv common! usually just in hs (starting 9th grade / year 10) bc it supports the football team at games#but starting in 8th grade (year 9) is also common (sometimes even 7th / year 8)#theres two different styles: collegiate/show band and competition. former is very rah rah pop music etc; competition is more abstract#show bands are clearly designed to entertain whereas competition is designed to be more impressive and tell a story#so more impact moments abstract shapes/lines on the field and has movements - opener ballad closer (fast-slow-fast)
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