#maybe theres salvageable stuff in here

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

🦀🦀🦀

Make me write!! 15 sentences for you!!

I was inspired to turn a three sentence fic into something longer; this is based on this one

“That’s not fair,” Satine says, swiping angrily at her eyes, “what you said to me was cruel and unnecessary and—” “And it was the truth,” Andre interrupts her coldly, and Satine’s stomach ties itself further into knots. “You wanted the truth and you got it. What—would you rather I lie to you? Is that the kind of relationship you want, Satine? One built on dishonesty?” “Of course not.” “We could do that, you know,” Andre tells her, cupping Satine’s face in his hands, studying her like he's at the store trying to decide if the object he's holding is worth the cost. “I could tell you that you aren't often rather frustrating to deal with. I could tell you that you’re beautiful even when you aren’t. I could even tell you that I love you. But you’ll drive yourself mad, always wondering whether or not I really mean it. But if that’s what you want, then—” “No!” Satine interjects, "please don’t lie to me. I want the truth—even when it hurts.”

[bugcadaver]

i just wanna read but my options in this house r either 1) my room, which is nice n private but only has my bed to sit on, or more preferable The Floor, or 2) the front room, which has a comfy chair n lamp set up, but family come in n out of which is extremely distracting

if i wanna b able to read more than a sentence at a time it's gotta be my room But i'll probably b too uncomfy to focus anyway.. bleeehh

also this house is So unfriendly to device use, which ig is good. every room has massive windows so bright sun all day, n all the blinds/curtains got torn down but not replaced. plus all the window settings r rotted or filled w asbestos so its not worth putting new ones up atm

i moved in in august n the idea was have the house liveable by xmas but lol @ that happening. obvs i can't fix anything myself or organise getting some1 to do it.. the fam's gotta take out loans to repair the house 2 sell it but everyone's got 100 other things to deal with first.. i'm just here helping keep the place sort of tidy in the meantime. god i'm already sick of it tho, the 2 months not paying rent have been nice but id like my own space asap

(...gotta find a new roommate, gotta find an affordable apartment somewhere i can get to work)...aiya.. i just want like a 1bedroom house out of the city, man

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Karkat Vantas

Meat, page 32

DAVE: yo

DAVE: love to chat but im kinda in the middle of something

ROXY: yo yourself but this is important

DAVE: uhhh

DAVE: more important than salvaging the global economy from potential disaster??

DAVE: sounds hugely unlikely

ROXY: idk about that

ROXY: in terms of scale and relativity and stuff maybe not

ROXY: its actually kinda hard to tell

ROXY: i guess in the grand scheme of things

ROXY: shes just takin a sort of nap

ROXY: but its one HELL of a nap bro

DAVE: a nap you say

DAVE: well this changes the fuck out of everything

ROXY: yea??

DAVE: nah

ROXY: lmao dirk just texted me about this

ROXY: somehow he found out about jade did u tell him

DAVE: uh no

ROXY: he just said make sure she gets lotsa daylight

ROXY: that itll help with the “exorcism she needs”.....

ROXY: and also to say hi to calliope for some fuckin reason??

DAVE: thats weird

DAVE: since when does he give a fuck about them

ROXY: idk

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

ROXY: he usually knows stuff about weird things

DAVE: so whats wrong with her again

DAVE: like

DAVE: some sort of demonic nap

ROXY: ok i wouldnt say shes NAPPING per se

ROXY: shes just like

ROXY: floatin here... upright

ROXY: eyes wide open

ROXY: and theyre both pitch black

DAVE: oh so she saw one of my latest sbahj campaign ads

ROXY: lol

ROXY: no dude

ROXY: like what im sayin is

ROXY: she looks a lil possessed

ROXY: by uh

ROXY: grim spirits n shit

DAVE: is she fucking grimbark again

ROXY: no!

ROXY: this isnt grimbark

ROXY: i KNOW what grimbark is dave this aint it

ROXY: it seems more serious tbh??

ROXY: like existing in some transformative state that isnt a literal fuckin joke

DAVE: ok yeah this does sound pretty bad

DAVE: but its not really my field

DAVE: did you try calling rose

ROXY: yea that was totes my original plan

ROXY: like no offense ur not #1 on my speed dial when it comes to this kinda thing

ROXY: but rose isnt picking up

ROXY: probly on account of ailments to be fair

ROXY: i called an unruly number of times

ROXY: and kan wasnt picking up either so...

DAVE: huh

DAVE: spooky

ROXY: hella spooky

ROXY: somethin about all this seems wrong

DAVE: yeah i guess

DAVE: what do you think is up

ROXY: idk

ROXY: i feel like theres something movin just out the corner of my vision but every time i turn to look at it

ROXY: its gone

ROXY: its givin me chills rn like im being watched

DAVE: well im no fucking ace detective

DAVE: or some gumshoe flatfoot dicking up the place suckin hard on my sherlock pipe like some sleuth of the fucking year

ROXY: dave

DAVE: but maybe we should consider the possibility that you are literally being watched

ROXY: ..............

DAVE: anyway can we hold that wise and rad thought i just had

DAVE: i gotta give karkat some emotional support

DAVE: since gettin jake on our side was a pretty huge fucking bonanza for us

DAVE: which has almost equal probability of winning us the election as it does blowing up in our faces depending on this speech he gives

DAVE: so we gotta like

DAVE: concentrate here?????

DAVE: instead of jerking each other off all god damned day for the rest of our lives

DAVE: (im just joking we dont actually do that)

ROXY: oh

ROXY: jakes on ur side then?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: wasnt that hard to convince him after your girl j crock started slut shaming him on public access

ROXY: god dammit jane

DAVE: so i take it jade didnt convert you to our cause before going into her gothic trance fugue or whatever

ROXY: siiigh

ROXY: i just want this whole stupid political thing over n done with tbh

ROXY: i hate watchin u guys tear each other apart in the news

DAVE: yeah sorry about that

DAVE: sorry its making you feel bad i mean

DAVE: not sorry that were doin it

DAVE: itd be an unconscionably lame move to put something on a billboard that i didnt 100% stand by

DAVE: but that sounds suspiciously like something jane would do

DAVE: aka the bad guy in this situation

DAVE: like objectively speaking

ROXY: ugh pls dont start

DAVE: just sayin

ROXY: idgAF!!!

DAVE: also

DAVE: aside from how vehemently i disagree with every detail in janes shitty platform

DAVE: i also think

DAVE: karkats the right guy for the job

DAVE: full stop

ROXY: you rly believe in him dont u

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: of course i do

DAVE: because i...

ROXY: hey before you jet can i ask you another question

ROXY: theres somethin else ive been meanin to ask u about for a while

DAVE: uh alright shoot

ROXY: yea soooo

ROXY: dave how did you come out

DAVE: ...

DAVE: what?

ROXY: like as not being straight

ROXY: howd you couch that to ppl w/o them freakin out or being awkward around u

ROXY: do u think its ever too late to

ROXY: idk

ROXY: change ur mind?

ROXY: about the person you wanna be??

ROXY: like is there a some point of no return you can cross where everyone is waitin for u to have a big ass revelation about your internal character

ROXY: but its like “dude no u already used up all ur gay capital when u started datefriend cohabitating w a cute as hell skeleton alien”

ROXY: and anything after that ur just gettin greedy

ROXY: is greedy even the right word

ROXY: greedy for droppin bombshells

ROXY: bout gender identities and sexual preferences

ROXY: or ids n preffies as i like to call em ;)

DAVE: ids n preffies

DAVE: damn

DAVE: thats fucking good

DAVE: anyway uh

DAVE: thats a pretty deep question considering all the shit we have going on right now

ROXY: yeah ur right

ROXY: now is probs not the best time for a feels jam

ROXY: especially with the creepy jade situation happening on my couch here

DAVE: i dunno if id worry too much about that

DAVE: jade goes into trances literally all the time

DAVE: she fucking loves sleeping

DAVE: youd think someone who spent so much of her life locked in a state of dubiously consensual slumber would wanna get as few zees as possible in her adult life but not jade

DAVE: ive never known anyone who hits the snooze button more times in a row than her

DAVE: if youre that worried take her to a hospital

ROXY: im thinkin about it!!

ROXY: not even sure if i wanna like

ROXY: mess with her tho?

ROXY: how would i even take her there...

DAVE: ok well while you ponder whether you wanna dump jade in a wheelbarrow and trundle her groggy spooked-up ass to the hospital

DAVE: in the meantime ill rap at you about my epiphany concerning the desire to bone some dudes

DAVE: probably not a literal rap though

ROXY: wow im disappointed

DAVE: i mean i could TOTALLY rap about wanting to bone dudes if i wanted?

DAVE: im just on the fuckin clock here and theres lots of people lookin at me

ROXY: :(

DAVE: ok so

DAVE: what ive learned is

DAVE: coming to terms with all this bullshit is a thing you sort of do in stages

DAVE: like stage one is you making jokes about how sweaty dudes standing close together in tv shows seems really gay

DAVE: stage two is making jokes about that and not immediately adding no homo afterward

DAVE: stage three is flirting with all your male friends ironically and not even thinking about adding no homo afterward because youre so fuckin woke and secure in your ironclad straight masculinity that you dont have anything to prove to anybody anymore

DAVE: or thats just what you say out loud

DAVE: inside you start being like

DAVE: oh shit

DAVE: maybe yes homo

DAVE: stage four is freaking out about that and putting the no homo back on all your statements even objectively heterosexual ones which just stupidly makes everything you say sound extra gay

DAVE: stage five is

DAVE: actually wait the next few stages are various permutations of the same thing that i already described

DAVE: it starts being like a gay fractal

DAVE: anyway eventually you arrive at like stage nine

DAVE: which is reminding everyone who will listen that youre gay minimum six times a day

DAVE: in really lame ways like

DAVE: oh cool dude are you making hot pockets

DAVE: better make mine a gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause im a gay homosexual who only consumes homo ass snacks delivered right to my mouth by a big queer butler

DAVE: servin it right up on his huge gay dick

DAVE: but that all only applies to the extent which i am technically gay

DAVE: which in my case is only about maybe 30% to 70%

DAVE: so only cook 30% to 70% of my gay hot pocket

DAVE: cause you know straights are fucking animals who never defrost their pepperoni

DAVE: and i gotta rep for that like 50% straightness still lurking inside me like the idiot who fell asleep in the shopping mall when it was closing for the night

DAVE: so now theres just this straight dude locked in a dark fucking mall for some stupid reason haunting the place like a cryptid and rummaging through the trash in the food court

DAVE: also just in case janes opposition research is listening in on their illegal wiretap i know the word bisexual exists btw im just choosing not to use it in service of spitting some fuckin chuckle jokes here so lets all calm down and not let this one become a distressingly literal federal issue

DAVE: anyway when all is said and done

DAVE: you eat a half cooked hot pocket because all your roommates think the height of humor is taking what was obviously an improvisational riff at unironic face value to punk you

ROXY: dave...

DAVE: what

ROXY: nm

ROXY: i was gonna ask you why ur like this

ROXY: then i remembered about how ur half me and half dirk

DAVE: yeah it really is crazy how those dope late game familial reveals actually did explain everything

ROXY: so whats stage ten

DAVE: stage ten is uhhhhhhhh

DIRK: The Prince opens his fucking mouth, and just literally starts SAYING SHIT, out loud, because he doesn’t think he can take another fucking second listening to a pompous alien virgin monologuing about gender.

DIRK: No consequence, my ass. You may be able to suppress what I do with my mind, but you have no control over my mouth. I’m nobody’s fucking puppet.

DIRK: And you don’t even know my friends. They’re not yours to toy with.

DIRK: They’re mine.

DIRK: Do you even know where I am right now?

DIRK: Do you have the slightest idea what I’m up to

DIRK: Yeah, well. Try and stop me then.

DIRK: I fucking dare you.

DIRK: Here I go. I’m walking up the tower stairs now.

DIRK: Walk, walk, walk. Ah, the exercise feels good.

DIRK: Argh. Wow, yeah.

DIRK: You’re right. My feet are definitely getting heavy.

DIRK: But the Dead Cherub tragically underestimates the Prince’s determination. He powers the fuck through it. See?

DIRK: Stomp, stomp, stomp. Up the stairs he goes. No fucking sweat.

DIRK: Oh also, did he mention? He can fucking fly, so there’s that.

DIRK: He decides to take flight and cut to the chase. He whips up the hollow vertical shaft at the center of the spiraling tower stairs. Life in the fast lane kicks ass, it turns out.

DIRK: He can practically taste the top of the tower.

DIRK: The Prince busts out his sword and makes short work of that big old bell.

DIRK: The slicing is accompanied by the ear-shattering melodic sounds of metal being cleaved apart by an anime sword, as the Prince nimbly avoids the sharp pieces and ricocheting stair debris.

DIRK: He wonders out loud, “what is this, amateur hour”?

DIRK: The Dead Cherub then humorlessly narrates, “why, yes. yes mr. strider, it IS amateur hour. and i’m the amateur here, for throwing a huge bell at you. i would like to humbly apologize for my amateurism.”

DIRK: Sure you do.

DAVE: well lets just say internalized whatevers are kind of like an onion

DAVE: theres lots of layers

DAVE: they suck on pizza

DAVE: and trolls have to get their stomach pumped if they eat them

DAVE: this goes for gender stuff too btw

DAVE: which i kinda get the feeling is what you were actually asking about

ROXY: wow am i rly that transparent?

DAVE: nah but as previously discussed youre a lot like me

DAVE: so it was pretty easy to figure out what you were getting at

ROXY: yea

ROXY: i dont got ur poker face tho

ROXY: but im workin on that!

ROXY: maybe ill get a sick pair of shades too

DAVE: oh DOPE

DAVE: yeah thats dope i support that idea

DIRK: I’m on top of the tower now. I’ve got my long sniper rifle ready and everything.

DIRK: I check to see if it’s loaded. It is. I get in the PERFECT spot for taking aim at this hunky imbecile who’s about to give a speech.

DAVE: anyway i dont think any of our friends are gonna hold your feet to the flames over dumb shit like this

DAVE: and its not like anyone else is gonna care since we definitely forgot to program hating gays and women into earth c

DAVE: humans are all jacked up on hating xenophiles now

DAVE: which sucks a lot too dont get me wrong

DAVE: btw did you know janes a xenophobe

ROXY: dave!!!

DAVE: ok ok

DAVE: so does all this mean i gotta call you dad now or what

ROXY: wat

DAVE: i mean thats what were talkin about right

ROXY: well first of all

ROXY: do u still even make a habit of callin me mom??

ROXY: i thought u kinda stopped that

ROXY: even if it was effin cute

DAVE: oh yeah i guess i did

DAVE: but i could start again

DAVE: but not if it means id have to go to fucking gender jail or something

DAVE: like what i mean is i could start that cute shit again but switch to dad

ROXY: ok but SECOND of all

ROXY: i would never want to deprive dirk of that noble honorific

DAVE: what

DAVE: ugh no way

ROXY: hahaha yeah way hes ya daddy dude!

DAVE: aw fuck noooo

DAVE: wow man

DAVE: i would never call him that

DAVE: i mean i know its true but i just wouldnt...

DAVE: wait

ROXY: what

DAVE: something feels

DAVE: wrong

ROXY: ???

DAVE: like some shits about to go down

DAVE: and i gotta...

DAVE: karkat! dude!!!

DAVE: GET DOWN!

KARKAT: WHAT?????

DIRK: You’re absolutely right.

DIRK: I would never do that.

DIRK: I’d never kill Dave, no matter what I felt the stakes were. I’d never hurt him either.

DIRK: You do understand me pretty well, I’ll give you that. And you’re right about many things.

DIRK: But there are just a couple things you’re wrong about.

DIRK: Pretty important things, actually.

DIRK: First of all, this gun is loaded.

DIRK: But not with bullets.

DIRK: Yes. You’re right about the tranquilizer.

DIRK: But there’s one more fact you’re not aware of.

DIRK: Which is that I never intended to aim for Jake at all.

ROXY: hellooooooo

ROXY: dave??

ROXY: whered ya go

DIRK: No, that’s not what he does.

DIRK: He swings the rifle around one hundred eighty degrees, and points the scope toward the large, now-curtainless window of a distant apartment.

DIRK: He zooms in quickly, cutting even shorter the little time that the Dead Cherub could use to impede him in some way.

DIRK: He takes aim, lets his finger hover over the trigger, and...

DIRK: Ow!

DIRK: Yeah, you got me. Can’t move it an inch.

DIRK: The only problem is, he doesn’t need to pull that trigger.

DIRK: Earlier, when he was messing around with all this shit in plain view, he rigged the rifle to be voice-operated.

DIRK: All he needs to do is say...

DIRK: FIRE.

DIRK: I see. So you’re not going to say what happens next?

DIRK: Is that really how it’s gonna be?

DIRK: So be it.

DIRK: The tranquilizer dart hits the glass of Roxy’s apartment window before the sound from the rifle’s shot even reaches them.

DIRK: She hears the glass break. Seconds later, she hears the bang. She drops her phone on the floor.

DIRK: She doesn’t have the slightest idea what just happened until she looks over at Jade and notices the dart stuck in her neck, right in the jugular vein.

DIRK: She watches as Jade’s huge, creepy black eyes start getting heavy. Her eyelids sag, and her head tilts to the side.

DIRK: She shuts her eyes completely. Her hair stops floating around her ominously. In fact, there’s nothing ominous about her at all anymore. She entirely resumes her status as the cute doggy girl we all know and love.

DIRK: She slumps over and collapses onto the couch. She begins snoring loudly while making a little canine whimper on each exhale.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

DIRK: Oh, what’s that? You’re getting a little quiet for some reason.

DIRK: You’re going to have to speak up.

DIRK: Aaand, nope.

DIRK: You’re getting quieter, not louder. You’re gonna need to work on that.

DIRK: Maybe try shouting it?

DIRK: Yeah, I didn’t catch that at all.

DIRK: Not even one syllable.

DIRK: Guess that’s it for you? Back to not mattering.

DIRK: Not that you ever did.

DIRK: Come to think of it, why am I still talking out loud?

[ablednt]

And like literally even if intellectualism was in actual danger which it truly isn't considering cognitively disabled people are being hatecrimed on the daily but even if it were... literally no one is hyping it up lmao.

The ONLY way to salvage what you think is being lost is to be accessible and encouraging. Hype up the books you read, offer to help people read through then if they want to, make sure everyone has access.

If theres important activist readings...make summaries? Break down important concepts. If you truly are so smart and understand it so well you CAN simplify the concepts for a less qualified audience. Celebrate successes.

Less "if you only read a single book in a year you're stupid and lazy" and more "Oh you read this book a while ago? Cool how was it? Did you like it?" And more "I know you struggle with this stuff so I'm proud of you"

Also have you considered offering to read to people? I'm not even a reader but I've read my favorite books on call to people before because I was so excited to share it and they enjoyed that so much and it was a fun moment and a lot easier than urging them to borrow it from the library and read it on their own. Maybe some people stopped reading in adulthood because it stopped being a social activitiy. Also for ADHDers its basically physically impossible to read alone or listen to audiobooks for a long period because we get distracted and the lack of dopamine becomes physically painful. Reading instead being made into a communal activity prevents this problem usually.

And even through all of this you absolutely HAVE to stop associating literacy to "intelligence" because there will always, ALWAYS be people who cannot read or understand audiobooks. Even if you erased poverty from this world reminder that disabled people who cannot do these things exist. Stop making excuses for ableists to kill us with the bars in the earths crust here.

[la-ro-ki]

rewatching the stream where fundy n phil meet michael and i remembered how pissed it makes me lmaoo upset ramblings under da cut bc it got long kjfskjsj

 the beginning where phil n ranboo drown him is ehh but i let it slide bc it pales in comparison to the tower fjssklskl they rlly made fundy jump from a tall ass tower over and over just to get back his stuff (which!! he didnt even rlly want most of it back tbh!!!!! just the shclatt sword :[ ) and killed him repeatedly. i get that they dont like him (well tbh its mostly phil although tubbo n ranboo certainly dont object) but hes very non confrontational and docile during this visit even as hes getting drowned and just jkjldlskldkssld despite all that he still wants to go along with them to see michael and thats a whole other disaster. 

i think fundy is one of the few ppl whos given legitimate criticism of the beeduos treatment of michael and is in a place to give that criticism?? like the direct parallels between fundy n michael are Right There and it sucks. it sucks so much. his whole point is just straight up ignored too in favor of the argument ‘michael is a mob’ bc that point is just bad. michael cannot be treated as both a mob and a child bc those hold very different statuses in the dream smp. if beeduo wanted to canonize him being straight up sentient or a hybrid then thatd be different but like. they have to choose one or the other, they cant just switch to whatever benefits them the most in that moment. michael, a mob, dying would be awful because beeduo is attached to him as a particularly special pet. michael, a CHILD, dying would be downright horrific because it would be beeduo losing their very young son. if hes killed then its the same argument. a pet killer and a child killer are drastically different things. 

if michaels a mob then of course fundys idea of he might want a lil freedom is a bit silly. if michaels a child tho then fundy is completely right in that its wrong of them to keep him locked up. ive seen ppl miss fundys point entirely too and point out that clearly the beeduo love michael bc theyre giving him a huge ass manison. the problem isnt that his bedroom is small (well it is but less severe) but that hes not allowed outside or to see anyone other than beeduo and rare visitors. beeduo can give him the biggest mansion they can buy but it doesnt change anything. wilbur gave fundy an entire COUNTRY and it still wasnt enough to salvage their relationship. 

speaking of wilbur, ranboos snarky comment abt how fundys relationship with his dad wasnt the best either was fucked up and it made me feel gross. fundys relationship with wilbur is literally what makes him such a good (if not slightly biased) judge of the situation?? hes BEEN in michaels role before and he has a unique perspective on it. his suggestions werent even that bad, they were literally like ‘maybe take him outside occasionally’ or ‘let people come hang out w him’. tommy straight up said he wanted to kill michael multiple times and the beeduo was less hostile to him. also when fundy was killed in michaels room and he was like ‘hey please dont let michael accidentally grab my stuff’. and everyone was like ‘lmaoo what a fuckin loser sure hope this mob doesnt grab your lore related weapon and netherite gear’. then fundy got mad and said hed kill michael if he grabbed any of his stuff, which is completely reasonable??? fundy was killed, he didnt die by accident, and hed been nothing but kind to michael directly even after being told hes technically a mob. hes allowed to decide that the life of one pet is worth getting his very important heavily grinded items back. beeduo are like ‘we’ll make ur life living hell if u kill michael’ like they werent the ones who killed him and threatened to let his stuff despawn. phil shows a bit of mercy but its immediately taken back. bc phil, fuckin phil that bitch, taunts him by hiding some of his stuff in his inventory to bait him into killing michael. 

im probs gonna stop it here but im so fuckin genuinely pissed bc the entire stream is like that and from a lore pov its just the fucking worst. theres nothing to justify them treating fundy like that in any way when fundy has done so little to any of them jsfssdklsdks grrrrrrr

[the-empress-7]

Sorry to blow up your inbox empress. 

I agree with your assessment Scorpio that confidence has to be earned. I mean I was one ugly duckling in middle school, acne everything, orange face from all the liquid foundation trying to cover it up, black eyeliner, braces. Now I’m 20 years old, I aint too bad looking–I mean Im not every mans cup of tea but I aint ugly either. I gained enough confidence in myself where I felt comfortable leaving the house without an ounce of makeup on and agreed I wasnt ugly. I love my eyes, my little dimple when I smile and my boobs. Nice little 30D cups.

LOL I go back & forth with my hair, most days I wanna be bald because it never does what I want it to & rare occasions it looks like it should be in Vogue.

2020 has destroyed my self esteem though. My face was soooo clear & now its horrible because we have to wear masks. I drink so much water & take care of my face…….and nothing. I look like I’m in the midst of puberty again………. it sucks major dick.

My eating habits have gotten better but my physical appearance……….yeah, no. Finding time to work out is always so difficult because of my busy schedule. 

My confidence issues:

1) my intelligence

2) my physical appearance

3) my social skills 

I have friends but they are all so broke they never wanna go anywhere. The only friend who goes with me to places always has to bring her fucking boyfriend!! Like I wanna go to vineyards, snowboarding, mini road trips, festivals but I’m surrounded by two types of friends where one type never has the time nor the money & the other type always asks “why do you wanna go there or do that?” & Im like “why do you need to question stuff, why not just live?” So Im stuck when it comes to socializing. (This is pre-pandemic btw) I want to grow up and tell my kids and grandkids all the places ive been, all the things Ive done. I have yet to have that one friend that gives zero fucks that theyre broke, & would rather live then stay home. 

My intelligence confidence sucks because nursing is so damn competitive but Im not here to be the best of the best. I want to be smart enough I can be trusted & respected because I know my shit & am good at what I do. Although I suspect this part will take time. These nurses have been doing this shit for a while so 

My physical appearance—I suspect that will take time too as long as I make the time to work out & dont slack. 

As for my fashion sense–well….thats tbd. 

Do you have pinterest? Theres a few pinterest boards that really capture what I love in regards to fashion but I could never pull it off. (nor afford any of those items) I like the black pants, black thigh high suede boots by Jimmy Choo, all black saint laurent handbag with a long cream colored wool coat matched with a white a jumper, nude nails, wavy hair, minimal jewelry–maybe a few finger rings & a simple necklace. 

I’m a complicated Capricorn, and feel like a lost cause.

Am I able to be salvaged, Scorpio?

=====

I love that this blog can be a space for people to share what’s on their mind, so share away. I will tag @scorpiotwentythree for you.

PS: I have struggled with acne a lot over the years as well, and the number one thing that made a difference for me is vitamin D3. And now that I am almost 40, I swear by Shani Darden’s Retinol Reform, not a wrinkle in sight yet!

[interestray]

it’s always a good moment when I see a critical role episode with so many things happening that my adhd can’t help but develop a mind of its own, so now that my hyper-fixations have stopped beating the shit out of me theres a couple things I wanna bring up most of it theory stuff and the rest personal things. btw its a long post be warned.

SPOILER ALERT- I’m talking about ep 117 of critical role and its a doozy.

 I’ve doing my recent posts in a different format and I’m liking it so I’m gonna use it here. btw I gonna mention some ship stuff I want to make clear I have no hate for any ships mentioned but unless I say I like the ship just assume I’m indifferent.

1. I gonna say I called it because even if I’m wrong about about future stuff I was right that it’s not just Lucien in that body, even if Lucien is completely right about molly as the group knew him is gone forever Molly (which I don’t believe at all) is still a fragment of lucien’s soul. now past that I do think molly as a conscious being is still in there and trying to connect with his friends. why? because theres this weird disconnect with how lucien acts communicating with the m9 from a far vs in person, in person it seems like he had his guard way up but when they scry or message him the barrier is lowered a bit I think when his guard isn’t up Molly bleeds into his actions and mind more. I personally see Lucien at being 130% whole because Molly grew into his own thing.

2. regarding my predictions for this episode I’m gonna give myself 2 points (with 1 of the points being made up of half points) I was hoping for flirting and I think we definitely got some version of flirting between Lucien and Caleb so I get a half point for that, not gonna lie I was a little freaked out (in a good way) how fast Lucien zeroed in on Caleb, I hope if things don’t go pear shaped we get to see those two interact more.

3. Personal thing I really wanted to smack Fjord and Veth for most of the episode like they both had moments of being rational (fjord more so) but for the most part i just want to slap them.

4. it was kind of hilarious to see how freaked out Lucien was of the m9, like there was a little of the bad kind of freaked out feeling I think it was mostly like how Ludinus felt meeting Jester. like poor Lucien he’s just doing his thing and suddenly this group of puppies imprints on him and follows him around poor guy. Seems like Lucien has so distrust towards the tomb takers with the whole ‘we are one’ thing, it seemed to be a recent development. I’ve seen people talk about whether the tomb takers/Cree will backstab Lucien I think it’s possible.

5. I think some members of the m9 have realized Caleb’s not doing ok, most likely from the corpse scene and him talking over Beau (bad caleb bad). what they do with this info is gonna be interesting I personally think Cad should talk with him in private maybe have yasha there as well (also hugs please someone hug the sad wizard man him and Yasha both need it).

6. personal thing I don’t understand jester x Fjord as a possible canon ship at this point in the story like i got it in early campaign but I think they’ve both grown and changed to the point where a relationship between the two would end quickly after starting (whether in tears or not). the only times I like seeing their romantic interactions is when Laura and Travis bleed through and at that point its nots really jester and fjord. again no hate you do you I just don’t understand the appeal.

7. I’ve not watched campaign 1 for a few reasons yet but I’ve done research on some of the bigger events one of which was Percy’s resurrection where Taliesin watched how everyone was acting to decide whether to come back or not. I think Cad’s whole talk about what the rest of the m9′s goals towards Molly/Lucien is first Taliesin’s way of deciding whether Molly will be a npc after this arc or if he picks up playing him again (this all of course depending on whether the m9′s stupid actions don’t get Lucien killed), second I think this is Cad’s way of deciding whether his “debt” is payed and if it’s time for him to leave. To be clear I don’t think this was the final decision I think it was the first step to see whether anyone could say they want their friend back and we had two (almost 3) say yeah they do so I think it was a good start.

8. I can totally see Lucien kidnapping some of the m9. this sounds weird but stick with me, it looks like the tomb takers as a whole have a few important spots missing in their mission like they (probably) have a blood cleric in Cree the goliath and halfing seems more strength based I’m not sure about the human and Lucien is filling spot of a little bit of everything. Lucien has already pointed out Caleb as being curious and smart so I think out of the party is Lucien steals any of them it will be Caleb, if not Caleb tho I think Yasha could also be one that gets his attention (especially if Lucien ever sees them fight) I don’t he would kidnap anyone unprompted but if they go through with their stupid plan I’m sure he’ll want payback.

9. I get a full point for crying at both the Yasha clover scene and Molly’s card about Caleb. 

10. So my best friend is also a fan of critical role but he always works Thursday’s so he’s behind on actively watching the shows, but I can watch them so I take notes of all the funny, interesting, and weird shit that happens then I call when he gets off work to tell him everything that happened then we talk about what we think will happen next. why does this matter? because before the molly reveal when we first heard about them going to aore (I don’t know how to spell the ruin place) I said I had a feeling Essek would probably show up and run into the m9. well I was right so i’m supper happy, hearing floaty bois voice was awesome I hope Essek and Lucien meet at some point (hopefully not while trying to kill each other that would be sad).

11. Caleb’s eighth floor is so interesting like I hope we get to see all the rooms at some point, I think the room we saw this episode was his room at the asylum (mostly from it’s disarray and how drab it was) as for who he was talking to? I’ve seen a lot of people says its Essek or Astrid (I can smell the incoming discourse) I think it’s neither, it’s probably the simplest answer himself or more specificly Bren. I think he was talking to the Bren that spent years in that bed and chair wasting away.

12. wtf do you mean the big snow worm has a double reason for hunting the party Matt?! (I have no clue what that means).

13. the m9′s decision to try and get to A2 before Lucien and take whatever is there is such a shit idea, why did he kill Vess because she was a traitor she betrayed him what are they m9 about to do betray him even after the warning about straying from the path (which btw I think was molly warning them). If they actually go through with this plan I hope Cad is right on Lucien getting amused at them instead of fucking pissed. good news is that even if they get there before Lucien they could still salvage the thing with Lucien by saying they wanted unbiased answers. I get they’re grieving and in a bunch of pain but use the common sense I know you have and learn more about whats happening before fucking it all up. (also I get half a point from Lucien kicking Vess’s body)

14. I will say I mostly loved this episode (except for the ending) but them talking about possibly scattering Lucien to get Molly back no matter how brief did unsettle me a lot. no matter my feelings about Molly this is Lucien’s body when he was scattered molly did have the right to the body so I don't think any of his actions were wrong or bad but now that Lucien is whole again his bodily autonomy should not be violated just for a unsure chance Molly would come back. As it is Lucien seemed already uneasy and annoyed with stuff molly did (ex-tattoos).

15. I originally wasn’t gonna put this point but I think I should. when Taliesin said “he thought they would be on the other side of this” I think most people thought it was in reference to how it seems like Lucien is evil (I still don’t think he is) but what if he meant Molly’s arc. think of it wouldn’t it make sense for Molly’s arc to focus on his past coming back to meet him what if they always intended for Lucien to become whole again and it was suppose to be Lucien’s thoughts/feelings bleeding into molly’s. but Molly died so instead we’re getting the inverse Lucien has to come to terms with his past as Molly and the people Molly left behind coming into his life. I think it would be a good arc him learning that you can’t run from or ignore the past no matter how much you want to it can and will come bite you in the ass. would also make sense why Lucien and Molly both have that attitude towards their pasts (you know other than being pieces of the same person). 

[spidermanifested]

picture this: you are a buff lesbian pirate dinosaur alien. youre thousands of years old. the rest of your species consists of like 15 total losers who stay in their dumb castle and a few other ones who run around in the woods eating frogs or something, you dont know or care, youre living your best life sailing around on a giant turtle with the help of a clan of tiny bug elves who think youre amazing and badass (because lets face it you are). youve been their Patron Dinosaur for AGES and you give them fun presents and flirt with the bug elf ladies and generally have a grand old time.

now imagine you find out the Castle-Dwelling Nerds have gotten so scared of the concept of linear time that theyre murdering the bug elves for experiments or something, again you dont know OR care but Your bug elves need your help so youre like “okay yeah ill take you guys somewhere while this all blows over, dont worry, ive got your adorable little buggy backs” except before you can leave, some other bugs show up trying to convince your squad that they need to STAY HERE ACTUALLY with the rest of the bug people and get themselves killed ~together~ and youre like no thats dumb also this girl has been poisoned can we focus on that please. and these strangers go NO YOURE EVIL AND YOU CLEARLY DID IT, even though youre like, right there and also have a sword, so like. great sense of self-preservation there. but you arent in the mood to get in fights with muppets so you use your Pirate Detective skills to figure out whodunnit and save the lady and hurray, except one of the strangers just???? randomly tries to fucking stab you out of nowhere and hes got a spider on him so youre like “well clearly the spider was controlling him so ill excuse that for now” but they insist the spider is NOT a spider and wont tell you anything. so youre like “okay fine get off my boat thats also a turtle i need a drink”

then later youre getting all set to go with your Elf Pals, got everything all ready, everybodys there, yep, time to set sail. except you get like a couple miles out and. theres nobody behind you

and you check again and, yep still nobody. and it turns out YOUR bugs ended up flaking out on you because of those same strangers who came over acting all high and mighty and telling them how to run things, which is clearly your job, and they dont even HAVE a boat or a cool hat or a turtle or ANYTHING, and now your bugs are going to stay behind and die like a bunch of idiots and to top it all off you cant get anywhere without their navigators and stuff because despite having 4 arms youre still just one (very cool very buff and swashbuckling) dinosaur lady. so you turn around. youre like “okay. okay. i can salvage this. theres still SOMEBODY i can wrangle into helping me out”

so you go to your god damn ex wife/literal other halfs house like “knock knock im here for your stupid MAPS and ASTROLABES and whatnot” and guess what shes not home! but you know who IS home, and by that i mean in HER home??? those same asshats from before— one of which as it turns out has a bounty on their head, so you just go “okay if im not getting off this dumb shitty god damn no-sea-monster-having landmass i can at least get my estranged colleagues to respect me and maybe theyll let me do my own thing” and tell them youll let the rest of them leave in peace in exchange for the One Elf you need

and shes like “i’ll FIGHT YOU and if you win you can take me in” and youre like pfft sure while you were out camping with your stupid friends i was studying how to quadruple wield the blade. and the rest of them leave, and you fight, except she fucking RUNS!!! and they all get away!!!!!!! because she lied To Your Face and to top everything off???? to put the cherry on this sundae??? the girl you saved from being poisoned before is there and she chops off one of your actual hands

and later. you catch them Again. and youre like okay same deal give me the ONE bug i need and you can go. but they escape AGAIN and take your fucking turtle!!!! and now you have no boat and no navigators and no captives and no nothing, and then the dude helping you catch them who you thought was your buddy blamed everything on you, so not only that, you realize you have No Friends as well. now youre in full on Revenge mode and you do not care about anything beyond bringing the full force of your wrath down on these little shits who have ruined your entire life in less than a week. so you go to the main ones house, its in a swamp or something, and you set everything on fire and theyre throwing knives at you and its a Lot

but then somehow they get into your brain????? your ex wife lets them like, wriggle into your mindscape, and remind you of all the stuff you used to care about, you know, before it all got ripped away from you, by them. and while youre trying to evict them from your own personal nostalgia hell? one of the other bugs sneaks up behind you and stabs you. multiple times. and it doesnt hurt That bad but its still a lot of stabbing! and youre flailing around trying to get her off you

and then

they trap you inside a fucking tree. like they grow a tree AROUND you. one of them literally gives up all her life energy to make a big giant tree grow and trap you in it. and now you are trapped. in the tree.

and your ex-wife is there outside you can SENSE her smug face. and all the bugs too are probably there. and you cant do anything.

because youre stuck in a Fucking Tree.

and now you know the tale of skeksa the mariner, who might not be anywhere close to what the experts call a “Good Person” but ill be damned if i dont look at all the nonsense she experienced over the course of a relatively minuscule span of time and think “yeah id be pissed too what the fuck”

[edge-lorde]

hp update: its been a long time, boys. ud think that with this plague outbreak id have more time for shitty phone games, and ud be right! however, the time i normally might use to make tumblr posts has been taken up by reading lotr orc fanfiction non-stop for at least 1 full month. id still be in the thick of that obsession even now if only the fics would update. that is how i find you today folks, for the first time in many weeks i am staring at a screen with nothing to do. so come with me friends, theres no better way to fill the soulless void we are all in than reading a nice long tumbler post. 

disclaimer, first of all, a lot has happened, i prefer to keep these updates as plot spoiler free as possible but do to extenuating circumstances i feel like it is necessary to say, [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER BELOW]

that rowan fucking died,

i wont say exactly how, but i will say that her death was animated as were animations of myself and a few others reacting to our friend fresh corpse. obviously meant to be serious moments but the animations made it seem almost comical. 

i saw at least one post going around right after this update that was like ‘how could the game devs do this to us..... how could they hate rowan so.... this is punishment from on high’ and its like.... u guys do know what a story is right? the events of  a story are not typically done to punish less faithful fans, im pretty sure they were planning to kill rowan off from the beginning. this isnt disney im pretty sure the writers are not writing each chapter the night before its released by popular vote. 

that little “are we drifting away..?” scene with rowan makes more sense now. there was a bit in one of the scenes where the kids all reminisce on rowans life and the mc talks about it being the last real one on one time they had with rowan. a nice bitter sweet moment. i dont hate this turn of events. its a good reminder that actions have consequences and we are way past they days of “should i wear a hat or scarf?” its YA time now. 

i did manage to take 1 screenshot from this time, i had commented that before that when rowan said she didnt have many friedns that barnaby seemed to be hanging out with her without be there as a friend buffer and here was his reaction to her death:

;_;

the funniest part in all of this however, was of course cedericks reaction to rowans death “but she was so young....” LOL fuckin RIP.

lets see... what else.... i forget a lot of what happened but i think there was a time sensitive quidditch event in there somewhere? if so i�� dont remember it. what i do remember of the quidditch pals is that im gonna play beater now, skye is being weird and cagey about it, andre is involved.... the others are there.....

sidenote, i love the shitty b characters they throw in to be like yes you know this person but no they are not cool enough for u to even think about befriending. the first one of those is face paint kid, and now we have another, who is a former beater girl with horrible bangs named bean who didnt go to any classes for a whole season so she could just play ball 24/7 and got kicked off the team.  this is a character who only exists to provide an explanation as to why there would be a beater position open but i love them on principle. 

right now im in the midst of another time sensitive event, this one is a bother-your-brother-at-work-day event where recent hogwarts graduate bill weasley is bullied by myself and his younger brother charlie into letting us go with him on one of his curse breaking jobs. 

so for those unfamiliar, bill works for the magical bank of england.... and his job seems to be “retrieving treasure” for said bank. in the books, there is a bit where he takes his family on one of his trips to egypt, where his job seemed to have been tomb plundering indiana jones style for the posterity of the english bank :X. i wont explain here why thats bad but its bad. 

the game devs however in this instance, at least SEEM to be doing what jkr couldnt do by attempting to salvage what is left of gringotts bank and form it into not a super shitty implications factory run by horrible jewish caricatures. bills mission is to retrieve a goblin made artifact that was taken by dragons, so no going to foreign countries to steal things from other people! only going to a dragon reserve to rifle through animal nests. they even appear to be providing us with a likable goblin character, egad!  

my hope for this event is that we get a plotline about how maybe, goblins arent shifty human haters for no reason, and in fact they hate magic humans for very understandable reasons, like being forced to go into hiding with the rest of the magical world even though only the humans wanted to do that, and maybe despite running the bank in england they still dont have a lot of political sway in the world of wizards and witches, and have to rely on the faith that said wizards and witches wont fuck them over at every turn, even as they see how they treat other non-humans, such as house elves, which they desperately dont want to end up like. and maybe they DONT only care about gold... maybe thats a human stereotype based on the fact that theres a long history of humans not respecting goblin ownership customs.... which i could get into..... but i wont.... i just....... very badly dont want them to suck ;__________;

i know i said its ok to still like a piece of media as long as you recognize the problems with it, and i do, but once this game is done im gonna stop hp posting all together. ive been feeling more and more uncomfortable making these posts lately.  

GENERAL GAME NOTES; theres been some new layout changes and such. 

most notably the stairs screen has been changed from a bulleted list of all locations to a screen with tiles picturing an image of each location along with the name + icons of all classes at each place. there is one additional location that is new and yet to be unlocked, and the dragon reservation is appearing temporarily as its own tile as well. i prefer this method of getting in and out of a temporary location to how they did it with car during the last christmas special. the stairs icon also now stays in the corner when you scroll through locations, allowing you to open the stairs menu without scrolling all the way back to the left. 

they also moved a few of the buttons down into the lower left corner rather than the left side & combined the story button and sidequest button. they added a little camera button as well, just like in the dormitory, that makes all the icons in a location disappear and look better for screenshots. 

the daily special add offer thing now has its own button in the top right corner of the screen, and idk if i mentioned it before but now there are daily challenges that appear in the sidequest screen that offer small rewards for completing 3 tasks per day + a better one if u get all 3. the prizes are things like 4 energy, 75 coins, 3 monster food. the better rewards are usually either more coins, 8 energy, 3 gems, or 1 notebook. i think that it does all the different color notebooks but i cant remember for sure if i ever saw the gold one up as a reward. i like this addition in any case. if you dont pick up ur reward by the end of the day, the next time u log on it will force u to stop and accept them, and if one of the rewards is energy and ur energy bar is full, it does not seem to stack beyond the bar so watch out.

 the character stats page is now more zoomed out so you can see your full character instead of just from the waist up. no change to the leaderboard. rowans face in the friendship roster is now a still black and white image that says ur friend may be gone but friendship is forever u-u. 

rowan has been removed from all classes. in the classes where the minigames involved her, those minigames have passed the mantle onto other friends in the class. in potions that person is now liz helping u find stuff off the shelves and in tranfiguration that person is badeea. bless these girls for helping mc get through it. touched my heart. 

theres been a few fun little “i know u have more free time now so uhhhh have some energy” prizes like they do sometimes when they dont update on schedule so thats been nice. just a few days ago they gifted us 3 gold notebooks the same way. :O. 

theres also been a few instances of a energy happy hour where for a limited time energy takes less time to refresh. normally it takes 4 mins for 1 energy to do this but during happy hour its like 2:30 mins. :U its all very interesting.

and that will have to do it for tonight my friends, ill do a post for the dragon event when its done because i do like it so far and i do like getting to bully bill with charlie. 

until next time, remember.......

[eroticcannibal]

gross menstruation stuff and do not judge me I have been Suffering yes things have gotten no better since last time I ranted about my Hell Period in fact it has got WORSE

Ok like for a year???? maybe???? longer???? I’ve been bleeding SO FUCKING FUUUUUUCKING much that i just. Don’t stand a chance cleaning up the leaks. if I’m honest. Like I wash my underwear obv but EVERYTHING is fucking stained I’ve given up. I’m fighting a losing battle here. I can’t fucking clean SHIT cus I’m so fucking TIRED from all this fucking BLOOD LOSS I feel like i’m gonna die. I clean one thing and theres fucking 5 more things. I’m. fuck. Even me fucking socks. ME SOCKS. I can’t fucking get from trousers down to toilet without fucking flooding everywhere! This is fucking ridiculous! I’m gonna rip me uterus out with me bare hands! 

But today I had a sudden Urge to try and address some of these stains again and... it’s not. Fucking working. Please help me salvage my underwear what the fuck do I dooooo it’s fucking everything it’s even me fucking trousers no amount of tampons and pads will stop this it just never ends I’m so fucking tired this is an illegal amount of blood and i am losing my fucking MIND. I’ve had stuff soaking in hydrogen peroxide for DAYS I just. I just want to own one thing that is not fucking stained. I’m so fucking miserable why does my uterus hate me this much. What the fuck did I do. I mean other than evict the squatter but it should have calmed down by now why is it still so mad this is ridiculous. At what point does the bleeding reach a point where I can legally throttle my GP until he refers me for a hysterectomy. I’ve been bleeding heavily for weeks. I’m EXHAUSTED. Fuck. 

[dojadogedog]

~Long ass post about my relationship~

(Might wanna ignore this)

So i came across my old crush posts about my now bf and realized i havent talked about him on here in a while and i might use this to explain stuff to my friends

Ive been hiding this all for a while and trying to deny it but like

as of now the last time we talked/texted was really awkward and short and before that we didnt talk for like a whole 25+ days and before that, even before quarantine, we would do the same thing and like not talk for a few weeks then talk a bit but it would usually be really awkward

And quarantine has like,, kinda forced me to reflect on our relationship and i realized stuff like this was really common for us and that ive never felt 100% (or even like, 65% tbh) comfortable talking to him about stuff, especially personal stuff.

A smaller thing is his best friend hates me and has a crush on him so she would try to like "take him away from me" (weird way to say it but its the only way i can think of saying it lol) and yeah i got pretty jealous of it. And there was a lot of times where he'd pay a lot more attention to her than me and like,,, it hurt, y'know?

And another thing is he barely showed me any physical affection, which sucks a lot bc physical affection is super important to me especially in a romantic relationship. Theres been a few times (earliest being 4 months in the relationship, latest being like 7 months in the relationship) where i wanted to hold hands w/ him and he avoided it. i get that some people arent into physical affection, but like,, its something i need personally.

and thinking about this now i definitely should try to talk things out w/ him and like try to salvage the relationship w/ him but i dont want to. And like, thats the thing. I dont feel very determined to try to keep this relationship going.

And theres been a ton of times where i want to tell him something (little things and big things) but like i get way too anxious too and just keep quiet about it. And now whenever i see hes active on social media i leave to avoid him and i get VERY anxious when he messages me. Like, ive had a few panic attacks from it. And even just seeing his name and/or profile makes me nervous. Im not sure why im reacting like this though. Hes done absolutely nothing to me. Hes a good person and our relationship was never toxic and definitely not abusive. We just never had/have good communication. Other than the communication thing we had a really really nice relationship and he made me very happy and i think i made him happy too

Half of me is super sure that i want to break up but the other half is like "what if you regret it though and this is just a temporary feeling?" because thats happened before. Not necessarily with relationships but definitely friendships and other things too.

Plus the aftermath of it is gonna suck really bad. Everyone at school (and even one of my family members and some teachers) knows that we're dating. And we kinda became like the "power couple" or whatever of our school bc of how long we stayed together compared to the other relationships and everyone (including teachers) thinks we're super cute together. Only one of my friends is kinda aware that ive been thinking about this stuff. theres also a ton of stuff that he gave me (a stuffed animal, his hoodie, a ***necklace, and more) and that i gave him (heart sunglasses, *bracelet, a **ring, and more). His sister also follows me on instagram so thats gonna be awkward. And even worse, he might be going to the same school as me again next year. He was supposed to move to a different state over the summer but he made it to the math team for next year so i have a feeling he might not be moving anymore and the corona shit probably messed up his chances of moving too in some way. Unless maybe, like, he tried out for math team before he thought about moving, which is what im hoping for, but still

***the necklace he gave me is pretty expensive looking and he said he spent most his money on it. It has his and his siblings' names on the back and in it it has their birthstones shaped as hearts :')

*basically the bracelet i got him were matching bracelets. Theyre those ones that are meant for ldr relationships and you double tap them then the other person feels it. They were pretty expensive, almost 200$ i think. His died and he tried charging it but it didnt work so he stopped wearing it which made me sad but i never said anything. There was another bracelet i gave him too. It was a best friend bracelet thing and it was one of those hearts that connect and it said "partners in crime". His broke as soon as he put it on but he wore it anyway and eventually he just. Stopped wearing it. (If its of note, i lied to my family about both of these and said that i gave them to friends 'cause im not allowed to date) i lowkey want it back now so that i can give it to someone else but theres basically no way i can get it back w/ out getting our families involved which is a horrible idea on many, many levels

**so the ring,, oh boy. This was very stupid of me. I got two Yungblud rings from hot topic that came together and are intended for one person to wear. one of em didnt fit me very good so when i got to school i was like "fuck it" and gave it to my bf. long story short we got 'married' on valentines (after dating each other for like, 5 months) using those rings. Technically it wasnt legit but we treated it like an actual thing and got a teacher involved. I even brought cake. We had it all planned out shit. It was pretty fun ngl but god damn i was stupid to do that so soon. We even kinda thought about getting actual legal files for it and now im very glad we didnt. I want the ring back too but, again, cant get it without our families getting involved and thats a very, very bad idea.

(And dont worry, after all this i most likey wont date for a while. Hopefully by then i'll learn ways to prevent this from happening again)

[teamvnla]

Cutscene ; Search

The suites that Jae and older hunters were staying in was much larger and far nicer than the loft Lye and the boys shared, partly why they decided for it to be their meeting place.

Russ stood behind Opal gaze watching her immaculate set up of scrolls and monitors. "You're not gonna find anything about any White Fang rallies through this, it all ground work. How do you think they've managed to get so far without getting caught." He pointed out, he had nearly slipped up refering to the Fang. He knew it would come out sooner rather than later, but if Van wasn't going to say anything yet he wasn't either.

"....that is true, then I assume you have a plan for how to find out about the next rally?" She asked turning to look as Russ her eyes scanning him for anything out of the ordinary, out of the group she could find nothing about Russet or Kashmere. That could be chalked up to them simply being good kids who didn't have anything on their records, but they acted like Huntsman so they were clearly trained well. It didn't sit right, even trying to glean information from Jae led her nowhere since he knew as little about them as she did.

"Yeah, I figured Van, Kash, and I'll go do some scoutin' and stuff." He glanced towards said males who were sitting at the kitchen counter going over something on Van's scroll. "Shouldn't take us more than an hour."

The three boys left the suite leaving Lye alone with Jae and the three Hunters, she had a lingering feeling that Leo pointing out how her feeling showed easily on her face was the cause of her being left behind. She sat at the counter, going over the information on her scroll again. She had to find a way to make herself useful....

"You cut your hair." Jae sat down across from her setting a mug of tea before her.

Lye blinked coming out of her thoughts, she brought a hand to her hair. She had grown use to it that she had stopped noticing how big of a change it was. "And you grew yours out." She pointed out with a soft smile.

"Yeah, not really intentionally." He responded with a soft chuckle. "When you're so busy that the choice is a nap or a hair appointment, your hair isnt too much of a priority." He joked, the dark circles under his eyes showed that he likely still wasn't getting enough sleep.

"How long have you been with them?" She asked nodding toward the adults who were all occupied with their own tasks.

"Around four months now? Maybe five." Jae brought his mug of coffee to his lips taking a sip realizing he wasn't quite sure how long he had been with the remaining members of his fathers team.

"So a minute, huh? Well catch me up on thing, how're your parents and Dia? How'd you end up here? Oh! What's with the new case, it waaaaay too big to be Champions Blade." She leaned forward, the last time she felt this relaxed and comfortable was when they were still in school. Being able to grasp onto the similar feeling for just a moment was rare.

Blinking at the questions being thrown at him he paused, setting down his coffee mug he glanced to where Silverlights case rested against the wall. "In that case is Silverlight, my father's old weapon...." he began, staring at the case for a moment.

"Woah, you have to show me it. When did he give it to you?"

"Ah....well he didn't? Not technically..." He paused trying to collect his thoughts. "He died." He stated bluntly, Lye's eyes widened in shock.

"I'm so sorry, I..." She struggled to find the right words to say.

"No, it's fine. You didn't know, it happened about a week after we got back to Atlas. Finally succumbed to his injuries, or something along the lines." He explained clearing his throat as he idly rolled one of the button of his fathers coat that he now wore, talking about his father's death still caused his chest to ache and his throat to tighten yet he still pushed on. "Tarragon came looking for him and found me instead, I guess she thought I would be a good enough fit for this job. Around the same time my mother found some stuff they managed to salvage from the shop and she gave me a key, turns out it was the locker where my father stashed Silverlight after his accident." He explained taking another sip of his coffee. 

"Don't worry, I'll show you it later. I'm sure Leo will want to size you guys up anyways, hes a tough guy but he means well. Most of the time." He gaze a slight smile attempting to lighten to mood, seeing that Jae seemed to want to move on Lye gave a soft smile and continued on to another topic. She was sure he would tell her more when he was ready.

------

It was just under a hour when Van, Kash, and Russ returned. The two groups gather around the counter, everyone looked at the boys expectantly.

"Looks like we're in Tagetes' grace, turns out theres a rally planned for tomorrow night." Van explained as he set down his scroll which projected a map up between them, he pointed out where the rally would be held.

"So plan is, my group will head down to the rally and act as normal White Fang members. Either try to get information on these owl guys you're so keen or anything about the attack the other night." He stood straight looking over the group for any objections, when refering to his group he had gestured to both Kash and Russ as well as Lye. Which surprised her, she had thought he was upset at her.

"I'll have to mic you four up before you leave." Opal informed, noticing the look of uncertainty she received from Kash she continued. "There likely wont be any camera in that warehouse for use to use, we can't be completely left in the dark on this."

"That's..fair.." Kash muttered with a shrug, it didn't feel right to let and group of humans basically sit in on a rally. He had to remind himself that he wasn't apart of the Whire Fang anymore, he no longer had a loyalty to them.

"So while you prepare that stuff, I think it's about time we get a looks at what we're working with." Leo directed the conversation, Opal, Cherry, and Jae knew this was bound to happen. Van quirked a brow at the older male. "We're going to go ahead and set up a little mock battle for a nice demonstration."

"Isn’t it too short of notice at any training gyms?"

"What do you think I've been doing for this past hour?" Leo lips quirked into a grin. "Well, let's get goin' before the sun goes down."

———

The training gym wasn’t to far from the hotel, a rather easy walk. Leo had mentioned on the way that the gym was sponsored by the company Cherry was under. Which explained how they managed to schedule a rooom so easily.

“So what’s the plan? This room doesn’t look big enough for a fulll team spar.” Van pointed out looking around the room.

“No, no, we’re not doing a team spar. Jae having the three of us on a team would make it way too easy, we wouldn’t get a good read of your skill levels.” Leo shook his head with a laugh, in the short time he had been around Van he could tell the boy was confident. Such confidence rarely came out of thin air, he had to have had something to back it up and Leo couldn’t wait to see what. “Since I’ve been the one mainly in charge of training this guy.” He drapes an arm over Jae’s shoulders. “I figure he’s the best control point, think you could handle four matches?”

“.....” Jae paused gaze rolling over the four Faunus. “Just call the match when you get whatever information you need.” He muttered hand rubbing the side of his neck as the weight of Leo was removed as he stood.

“Great, so I already have the order decided. Van will be up first, then Lye, then Russet and Kashmere.” He clapped his hands deciding, it was obvious he wasn’t open to opinions on his line up.

Opal had already went about setting up the barrier for the spar, she had to take a moment to link the scrolls to the monitors so that they could get a read on each of the young adults aura level during the match. Both Van and Jae took their places on opposing sides of the platform, Lye, Russ, and Kash took a seat on the nearby bench to observe both the spar and screens Opal had up. The tension from the other day was still evident the moment the two boys made eye contact across the training room

Lye was used to Jae’s stoic expressions especially during a fight, but not Van’s. He usually had a cheeky grin spread across his face, he always wanted to show his opponent how unaffected he was.

On the other hand, Kash and Russ had seen this look before. They were rare occasion, but those moments had been impactful enough to stick with them. Seeing it now told them that there was something that Van was genuinely upset over, but in this moment they had no clue what it could be.

“Start.” Leo simply stated.

Jae had run over everything he knew of Van’s fighting style in his head, despite some time having passed they had still spent nearly four years together fighting against each other and side by side. Van always seemed to have everything figured out, so not much could have changed. Jae on the other hand, had to start over and learn something new. However, he had three professional Hunters to guide him through. He wasn’t the same student as he was back at Beacon. So the moment Van had charged forward he did as well, Leo and Tarragon throughout their training with him had emphasized the importance of him not only focusing on defensive tactics.

This was a change Van hadn’t been expecting, there was a vague glint of surprise in his eyes. The first hit was thrown by Jae, he had swung wide with Silverlight. An improvement in style and a new weapon? Jae had certainty changed since they had last fought, Van however didn’t allow himself to give the dark hair boy any sort of praise in the momment. He ducked easily dodging the swing, he swayed left removing Crosshare from the magnetic holder on his back.

Jae recognized the move, he knew it was a feint that Van used to gauge reactions of a new opponent. The blow would come from the right, is what he had thought until he watched the golden glint of Crosshare swinging straight towards his face. He brought up Silverlight to block the attack.

At the same time with a swift twist of his body Van had brought a leg up aiming a kick on the right side, he pushed a breath out of his nose in reaction to Jae removing a hand from his swords handle to catch Van’s leg. Jae pushed off Van’s weapon and attempted to twist Van’s leg in a turn, one thing that hadn’t changed between the two boys was the clear difference in their physical strength. It was made obvious that Jae was the stronger of the two as he found Van with ease, Van adjusted his hands rolling with the momentum of the throw to get back to his feet at a running start.

He came running back at Jae, twirling Crosshare causing it to shift into it’s sniper form, he turned the head to the ground hopping he planted his feet before firing a shot to launch himself into the air. He long rabbit ears grazed the ceiling of training room. Jae held a forearm to the base of Silverlight, the base shifted and folded around his arm, in the process releasing the long sword from the center of the larger blade which now resembled a shield. This was a feature he had only recently learned about, Leo had wanted him to get use to Silverlight as a whole before exploring the other features. He fumbled with grabbing the sword as he also had to bring up the shield to catch Van.

The rabbit landed on the shield, a clang resounded in the training room as the metal of his bat met the metal of Jae’s sword. The sword shimmered a light blue at the point of impact, it was an odd to not feel the sensation of the impact being transferred into his arm. Something of his Father’s creation, he had designed the sword to be able to store momentum.

Jae’s hold on the handle of the sword was clumsy, this didn’t go unnoticed by Van as he leaned more of his weight on the sword. “I get that you’ve got a new team and toys..” Van spoke up as he leaned closer while pushing his sword. “But don’t get overconfident here.” He stated raising his bat before slamming it down on the sword knocking it out of Jae’s hand, he jumped up lifting a leg and flipping down hitting the shield. The sudden lack of weight and reintroduced weight and force had thrown Jae off balance, leading him to stumble back nearly tripping over himself. Before he could bring the shield still on his arm back in to guard himself he was met with the barrel of Crosshare’s sniper right in front of him.

“Alright, that’s as good enough a place to call it as any.” Leo’s voiced carried over to the two boys, a small part of Jae couldn’t help but feel relieved.

Van returned Crosshare to his back and took a seat next to Kash on the bench. Opal was surprised at the level headedness Van maintained through the spar, to Lye, Kash, and Russ it showed Van’s impatience with the fight an act more of emotion than a calculation.

“You ready for the next round?” Leo asked as Jae returned the sword to the center of Silverlight, Jae looked over his shoulder and gaze a small nod. Leo looked towards Lye, gesturing for her to go take a spot on the other side of the court.

Lye hurriedly made her way over, she took a deep breath. It made her nervous having three official Hunters watching her, especially knowing that she wasn’t at her top performance.

This round went differently from Van and Jae’s, it felt almost like a presentation for class. However, having been her partner at Beacon Jae could tell Lye was off. Her speed had dropped, and she was holding her attacks that were directed at him and not his weapon. He could see the panic in her eyes when the major blade of her ballet shoe grazed his cheek. He knew the reason for the panic, but held his tongue.

Leo had called the match, next up was Russet. This spar felt a bit more equally matched, both males faired rather well. They would be good partners in the field with Jae’s familiarity with a large weapon and using it for a defensive style and Russ’s familiarly with his large axe and using it for a more offensive style.

———

“You don’t have a weapon?” Tarragon questioned surprised.

“Eh, he’s more of a scout.”

“But can he fight?”

“I don’t have a traditional weapon, but I can fight....”

“So you’re proficient in hand to hand?”

“Yeah and...” He paused looking towards Van for permission seemingly.

“Go on.”

Kashmere looked around, he moved his arm. Quills extended from his finger tips, as his free hand popped the lid off the canteen on his hip. His eyes shown an icy blue as the quills fired from his finger tips, as they flew a water coated around them before freezing into a jagged shard of ice. The ice covered quills stuck into the wall of the training room.

No one on COAL had immediately assumed that Kashmere was a Faunus, they did have their suspicions with the fact he had went out to look for the search for information on the next White Fang rally. The question was confirmed before it had the chance to come out.

“Alright, I’ve got what I needed for this. Unless you two need something I say everyone free to go home.” Leo glanced to Opal and Tarragon, both women shook their heads.

———

As Van scrubbed shampoo into his hair he ran over the mock battles at the training gym. Leo kept flashing in his mind, he had said he wanted to gauge their abilities. Yet the entire times he was watching the fight, it didn’t feel like he was watching the fights. He was watching something else, but what?

[dyketectivecomics]

{{ Salty asks! 2, 6, 13 (for Zatanna), 11, 18, and 21? And 25 if you've got one you'd change the ending of!

2. (Answered!)

6. (Answered!)

13. Unpopular opinion about Zatanna?

While so many of Zatanna’s relationships are important, they are definitely not the beginning & ending of her character. She is so much more beyond someone’s passing love interest or to be used for a one-off Quick Magic Fix. if you’re going to include her, or any mystic character for that matter. flesh them out like a real goddamn person. and also maybe pick up a comic from her solo series while you’re at it and learn how to write her spells. I'm sick and fucking tired of people using the ‘full sentence backwards’ thing. its a word at a time.

ALSO while I'm here. YJ!Zatanna was the WORST fucking step BACKWARDS for her character and if you treat YJ canon like its canon for all DC, you’re going on my blocklist. i don't have time for that nonsense. Zatanna’s been established as at MINIMUM around/near Bruce’s age. She’s a part-time leaguer & celebrity. she was introduced as a Young Adult and she deserves to be treated As An Adult.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesnt? Why?

i mean i run a blog all about the dc ladies and theres so many that just...... don't have content. again, the most recent one i’ve parsed was black alice’s tag, which is near-devoid of anything except unedited comic panels and a few fics sprinkled throughout (mostly mine and tee’s afjkdlsa;f)

like. i get it especially for characters that aren’t on a lot of teams/aren’t in the general fandom consciousness/aren’t conventional heroes. i Get It. but..... its rough when i DO want content and there’s just.......... nearly nothing salvageable.

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or biased?

i mean, if it does i’m happy to stay in denial/be biased fkdals;fj. the thing i try to remind myself, when I'm writing fic/drawing art that i don't think will be very popular, is that I'm catering to a niche. a niche that, hopefully, will appreciate what i do and will jam with me about our shared interests.

if no one else is up to the task, I'm absolutely ready to provide some content to some lesser known/out-there pairings. if for no other reason than because i want to see some change and help diversify our fic prospects. 

its too easy to do the same thing over and over. its much more challenging to try something new and expand your horizons.

21. What are your thoughts on crackships?

i mean? what even qualifies as a crackship any more? bc 2012 fandom days it was Actually Wild/usually inappropriate shit. nowadays it seems to be more ‘omg, but they only interacted once/never!’ kinda things and that just.... doesn’t bode well with me either way?

like. i don't mind other people using the term ‘crackship’ usually. but when its applied to a pairing that you, personally, can’t see the chemistry in.... like. buddy, just get the hell outta the tag and keep ur opinions to yourself.

25. How would you end xxx?

How would I end Titans (2018)/Young Justice (2010)? by making sure they never got made in the first place fkdlfjals;fjdl;as;

other than those two uhhh, you’d have to be more specific. like for Zatanna’s solo run, i would’ve like to see more stuff diving into Zee’s cast n crew members (esp Mikey) and maybe a more solid story at the end, rather than the one-off issue that just.... kinda felt like it could've been placed anywhere. for DoD i would've liked to see more overt hints at the new night force maybe teaming up again in the future. but thats just bc i want more of the team ofc jkfdla;f

[z2aseaqj-blog]

Renters insurance?

Renters insurance?

what exactly is renters insurance all about? is it pretty important or a waste of money?

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[gurguliare]

im not th eoriginal anon but, wrt anything that burns, which is one o my favourite fics ever, i think one of the things that sticks in my mind most of all is the moral ambiguity of everything jane does around roxy, but particularly the first time they have sex, when things seem to get especially disturbing. theres other stuff id like ot ask about tbut this is no.1

Sure thing—I’m not going to go line-by-line for the whole scene, but I’ll try to get down some thoughts.

They end up spread out across the bare table, Jane on her back for the second time that evening and Roxy, leaning over her, circling not her throat but her boob. This wasn’t premeditated, Jane wants to say, but she’s less than convincing even to herself.

Something I tried to communicate about Jane was that she has a sincerely limited understanding of boundaries or consent. That means she has a troubled relationship to her own agency, as well as that of others’, which is why she here misinterprets her burgeoning crush as like… malice aforethought. It’s—well, it’s maybe a little wrong to be attracted to Roxy, under the circumstances, but being attracted to Roxy and deciding to take the plunge and have sex with Roxy are significantly different things. Equating the two here is a self-serving sleight of hand. Superficially it means taking on an excess of responsibility (not only for the act, but for everything leading up to it); implicitly it’s a way of shrugging off responsibility, asserting that she has no more control over this than she does over her feelings of attraction.

“I have to bake on here,” she says eventually, instead. “Let's—we should move.”

Roxy lifts her face from Jane’s neck and stares at her muzzily. “Oh,” she says, confused, “sorry, sure.”

I wouldn’t call the morality here ambiguous, per se, although I’m not about to get on your case for describing it that way, given that this fic takes an equally dire tone about Jane taking advantage of her brainwashed bodyguard and Jane doing laundry. The ambiguity is in Roxy’s response and her motives for initiating, or at least that was my thinking when I wrote it, although I now feel that if this story has a strength it’s that Roxy pretty clearly deludes herself about how much control she has over A Bad Situation, and does so without much conviction. I would not write it in the same way now, but I like those moments when Roxy is preoccupied, because at least it gestures to some kind of life for her beyond calculating around Jane’s reactions. But … yeah. The thing with this fic is I thought I had to be super meticulous about confining the narration to Jane’s perspective and not letting the reader past Jane’s blinkers, and it’s like, sure, that’s an effect, but this is also a story with two characters in it. So that’s not great. I hope I’ve gotten better at this sort of thing over time, I’ve definitely written stuff to a similar premise that I felt had more realistic intrusions from the Outer World onto unreliable narrator’s oppressive frame, but it’s an issue I still struggle with.

[…]

“You can’t hurt me,” she says aloud, her chin close to Roxy’s shoulder. Her breath disturbs the fall of Roxy’s curls, blowing them back from her chokelet. Roxy licks her ear and says, “Nope,” her palm flat on Jane’s sternum and a little wet from Jane’s tongue. “Is that important?” Jane doesn’t know how to answer. It occurs to her that she trusts Crockercorp technology more than people, that she trusts Roxy because of company endorsement, that when Roxy saved her life she felt abandoned rather than salvaged, because she had come so close to death after a period of long respite. There’s a hole in the plaster of the wall above them where a knife buried itself three years ago, and had to be wrenched out by a drone, its blunt-ended other arm braced against the desk and leaving a ring like a coffee mug might, only described in crushed wood rather than water damage. “Yes,” says Jane, licking her lips, and kisses the taut side of Roxy’s neck.

More misdirection. Jane is traumatized from a combination of the assassination attempts and the stifling anti-assassin measures, but she misdiagnoses the primary source of the trauma, which is not the danger but the powerlessness. The actual reason Roxy is exciting is because she’s supposed to bear the consequences for Jane while Jane does the acting, whereas before it was always, “everything around me acts and I sit here and cower.” 

[…] She shuts her eyes; there are cracks in the dark.

“Fuck!” Roxy hisses.

By the time Jane blinks away the last etching of brightness, she’s sitting back on her haunches and clutching at her throat. Jane’s legs slip off her shoulders. Jane feels slow, stupid, wrung-out, but: “It didn’t hurt,” she protests, and Roxy looks at her with deep incredulity.

“What?”

Jane glares. “The chewtoying, goshdarnit,” she says. “It felt—”

But she also doesn’t “want” to hurt Roxy—fundamentally she’s a kid and likes Roxy and, in a very shallow but intent way, wants Roxy to be “okay” without having to do anything about it personally. And she also can’t really believe that she does have the power to hurt Roxy, or affect the world around her—and especially doesn’t believe that she could affect the world around her without noticing, since her whole stewing malaise is premised on the idea that if she for one second got her own shot at Intervening, she would immediately know, and it would change everything.

“It did hurt,” interrupts Roxy, impatient as if it were day, and they were doing anything else. Her breathing is slowing, now, no longer the sharp short exhales of an animal in pain. “You just didn’t know it was an attack because I have mad skillz. Believe me, it hurt.”

This shit is so fucking lazy. I realize I’m a bit Freudenberg (2001) ragging on Freudenberg (1993), but man, the world does not need more dehumanizing comparisons applied to abuse victims. It’s all the crueler since Roxy in the fic is ~ambiguously brown~, although I flipflopped on that while writing and actually left in some inconsistent pieces of description when it was published, because even at the time I was aware that replicating those dynamics soured my Iddy Noncon—witness my nuanced thoughts on writing race, and, for that matter, noncon. I’m not sure what to add. I hadn’t reread this story in a couple of years, and reading it now made me wonder whether I should take it down, revise it, or add some kind of caveat emptor. I’ll think a bit.

[many-gay-magpies]

jino insufferable history class vampire UR SO RIGHT okay but we assume that they Have been in the world for a good while and if the orphanage let them have newspapers (according to webnovel *gags a little* they did have ~classes~ of some sort) the guys Might have some knowledge of things just through current events and stuff. which would be hilarious. i’m also starting to get a fun sense of the dark moon moral compass with jaan at one far end and jino and shion on the other. one end being cautious and paranoid and the other being “🤣🤣 fuck it !” and you know what i see it and i vibe

NOT THE SPIDER-WALK. POOR STUDENT WOULDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT HIT THEM THEG PROBABLY WOULDNT EVEN RECOGNIZE IT AS JINO AND JUST TEAR OUTTA THERE LIKE A BAT OUTTA HELL. but hey at least it adds to the school urban legend of fuckin Monsters enforcing curfew?

GREAT WE’RE BOTH CRYING OVER NOA NOW GOOD TO KNOW

no yeah sooha would be a great foil to solon especially since being immortal/with your brothers for centuries is kind of . a static way to live. they probably have this mentality of “this is how we are and how we’ve always been and how we always will be” because of their immortality and experiences. sooha shows them they can still Change and they don’t have to stay static forever. being immortal doesn’t mean you can’t still grow along the way

- vrvr anon

honestly i Love the concept of immortals using their age/immortality to be like "smh yall are teaching it wrong believe me i was THERE" whether or not they ACTUALLY know the truth lmao. or just immortals using their immortality to fuck around in general.

NOT THE GAGGING HSFJGDJHFJ but yeah-- and now the thought of the orphanage giving them newspapers and such to keep up with current events and keep up the illusion of normalcy in the orphanage ALSO makes me think. well the vampires probably have a few possessions theyve collected over the years that are priceless antiques now just because of how old they are. like imagine they happen across an appraiser or a historian or something and they just LOSE IT because "holy shit that watch is worth hundreds of dollars i havent seen one like that in so long where did you get it?!?!" and jino just has to he like "HAHA I GOT IT FROM MY GRANDFATHER,,," even though he knows FULL WELL he bought and/or pickpocketed it from someone himself some time in the mid-eighteenth century.

also you know that thing with vampires going to museums and finding belongings of theres? imagine the guys going to a museum and seeing, like, an entire exhibit made out of the salvaged remains of one of their hideouts from the 1940s. they're all yelling at each other (telepathically, because revealing that you're immortal in a public setting where anyone can hear is probably not the best idea) "HEY WHAT THE HELL THAT WAS MY JOURNAL WHY DID Y- oh thank god it was burned in a fire when they found it" "your journal?!? bitch they have the fucking sKETCHES I DID OF THAT ONE RANDOM HOT GUY FROM THAT CAFE IN 1934, THEY CAUGHT ME BEING A CREEP IN 4K--" "is that my tOOTHBRUSH are you ACTUALLY kidding me--" "THATS where i left that necktie!" the possibilities are endless lmao.

yeah the moral compass-- jino and shion are definitely on the "🤣🤣 fuck it" side of the spectrum, while jaan, solon, and maybe jakah are more on the cautious/paranoid side. heli i feel like is kind of in the middle, where he's constantly some level of worried about them being found out and tracked by the orphanage, but he also likes to see his brothers have fun and doesn't see the harm in a few shenanigans here and there.

YEAH LMAO. and now im just picturing the decelis faculty watching all these reports of nightmare-inducing school cryptids roll in like "how much is too much,,,"

GOTTA LOVE SOME GOOD NOA-INDUCED TEARS.

okay but honestly speaking i have a Lot of feelings about how immortality changes the way people (or... NOT-people, as the case may be) exist and change and view themselves. living for that long, especially if you stay disconnected from the rest of humanity like the vampires evidently have been, probably makes you pretty detached from reality—it can create an "us" vs "them" mentality of sorts; the mortals, with their short, fleeting lives where everything goes so fast and they're constantly changing to keep up with it, and then us, the immortals, who have all the time in the world, so why shouldn't we take it? it seems like it would be easy for the vampires to become stagnant, like you said; convinced that their minds have been frozen in time along with their bodies. with no one to form connections with outside of each other, they just repeat what they've always done, forgetting that CHANGE is even possible for them. but sooha is mortal; even though she's like them, she's still growing and changing every day, and maybe being around her can teach them that they still can, too.