#maybe some external motivation/excitement will help

[wifeguycyclonus]

ok idk how to actually write this but i had a jazzprowl au idea ft identity porn on Jazz’s part and poor Prowl ends up thinking he’s in a weird love triangle thing with like four different guys but actually its just one guy lol

[smileysuh]

Fix You

🌙 staring. Mingyu x afab!Reader

🔮 synopsis. “As a member of 53V3NT33N, I have two different states of mind coded into me, aggression and admiration. To love something, to admire it, is to feel aggressive when it’s questioned, to want to control it, if even for a little while- it’s the need to consume it, endlessly, as my fans consume and control me as an automaton. Even though I’m a member of a group, there’s a distance. Automatons can never truly motivate each other because our motivations are based on external human needs, it’s built into us- We can see when humans need us, and we do what we can to fix that need… I know you need me, the way I’ve needed you since I got here.”

tw/cw. unprotected sex with an AI robot, virgin!Mingyu, big dick!Mingyu, Mingyu's body is perfect, hand job, blow job, deep throating, pussy eating, fingering, flavored cum, praise, breast worship, switchy/submissive!Mingyu, multiple orgasms, slight overstim, AI slavery/working philosophical issues, risk of AI termination/job loss, etc...

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 15.5k I collab. link

🍭 aus. automaton/ai au, ai!Mingyu, robotics behavioral researcher!y/n, wellness center, future au, Promethean theory, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. i was so excited when @idyllic-ghost announced this collab in @svthub. Had a great time creating this world and working with everyone through the Discord server :) Bee was also such a big help as beta reader, they were such a good collab team leader, so big thank you to @idyllic-ghost 💕

As a top mechanic at an automaton rehab center, you’d heard about the supposed ‘break out’ of thirteen level one AI robots from their management facility. In fact, people all across the galaxy had heard about it, with the attractive faces of every member of the idol group 53V3NT33N plastered on billboards, tvs and any screen possible-

However, the last place you thought you’d see the stunning features of M1NGYU would be on your briefing tablet not two days after what some reporters are calling ‘the biggest breach of level one automatons across the galaxy in centuries.’

“How-” you swallow thickly, eyes shifting from your tablet to look at your boss. “How did he get caught so fast?”

“Mingyu has been malfunctioning for months,” Yoongi explains. “Strength miscalculations during concerts, collaborating in the break out attempt, his aggressive behaviors have been more frequent- but if there’s one thing that can be said for an automaton that balances aggression and admiration, it’s that he truly admires the humans who worship him. He gave himself in, trying to aid in the escape of two of his AI band mates.”

“Oh.” For some reason, this news makes you sad. A robot with a sense of self sacrifice for the good of others… even if giving himself up was in part spurred by a need to be given attention and adoration from the humans that made him. 

He’s like a child that makes a mistake and gives himself in. Many mechanics would do what parents across the galaxy do, scold, attempt to fix the behavior with shaming and judgment- but you were given your job precisely because you come at this sort of thing with a different approach. It sounds like Mingyu needs someone to talk to, someone to understand- maybe poke around in his coding a little to see if there’s anything that shouldn’t be there.

You can’t think of someone more qualified than yourself to give Mingyu the time and attention he needs, the admiration he craves to balance out the supposed ‘aggressive’ traits he’s been showing lately. 

“Before you get too caught up in Mingyu being some level one lost puppy, just remember, he’s an automaton,” Yoongi’s harsh voice snaps you out of your daze and the rehabilitation plan already brewing in the periphery of your mind. “Don’t get too close to this.”

“I won’t.” If only it was a promise you could keep.

You’ve been around many level ones in your time as a robotics behavioral specialist at the rehab center, but none of them have ever been as beautiful - or as charming - as Mingyu. Sitting next to the intake girl, watching her ask Mingyu questions, you get to fully observe the automaton, and you’re astounded by what you see.

He answers things in a way that almost seems honest, and at points, when he makes a joke that causes you and your coworker to smile, his eyes literally sparkle with admiration. You wonder what coding had to be done just on his robotic retinas to achieve such an effect.

It’s clear, by the time the questions are all through, that Mingyu is the most advanced of any AI’s you’ve ever come in contact with, and the prospect both scares and exhilarates you. 

“So what now?” Mingyu asks, and you note the way his knee is bobbing slightly, as if he’s anxious. He’s leaning forward, eager to hear what comes next, and it almost feels like he’s going to be a more than willing participant in this rehab experience.

“Well,” you sigh, taking the tablet from the intake girl, “now that we’ve completed this first form, I can get to work on making a wellness plan for you.”

“A wellness plan?” Mingyu cocks his head, another very human-like motion that makes your breath catch.

“A wellness plan, yes.” You consider how to explain this to him. “You know when humans get tired and they have a spa day? Or after someone has given birth, they have maternity leave? It’s going to be a little something like that. As one of the head behavioral specialists and wellness coordinators here, I’ve been assigned to help you take a break.”

“A break?” He looks as if he’s never even considered having a breather from the activities of a famous level one entertainer robot, and you sort of feel sorry for him. 

“Yes, Mingyu, a break. That means no dance practices, no music production and vocal exercises. You’ll be existing here, checking in with me and doing new daily activities designed to help get to the core of the issues you’re facing.”

“And what issues am I facing?” There’s something of a smirk on his face, and you realize the robot is toying with you, but you still feel compelled to respond.

“I heard you threw one of your bandmates too hard during the past few concerts you performed.”

“Dino can take it,” Mingyu insists. “No one got hurt.”

“The guards that were injured while your group broke out of your management facility would beg to differ. Cameras showed you were a big part of busting open doors, knocking a few people unconscious- word in the wellness center is your aggression levels are a little high.”

“No higher than my admiration levels.” There’s that smile again, and you’re not sure what to make of it this time.

“I guess that’s true,” you confess. “You turned yourself in after all.”

“I highly admire the guards that my group members got the better of. We all have bad days, after all, especially humans.”

You wonder at his diction. ‘We all have bad days’ he’d said, before making something of a distinction when he noted ‘especially humans.’ However, in the use of the word ‘we’ without a further separation when mentioning humans, it’s almost as if he’s lumping himself into the same category. 

You must be creating too much of a pause in the conversation, because Mingyu opens his mouth to speak again. “You said ‘I can get to work on making a wellness plan for you,’ does that mean you’re the main handler looking after me while I’m here?”  

It shouldn’t be a shock that nothing gets past Mingyu, that his recollection of what you’ve said is top notch, but it still takes you back a little. “Correct.”

“Can you tell me your name?” 

He’s very peculiar for a level one. 

You give him your name and he repeats it once, twice, three times before nodding to himself. “Thank you for taking care of me,” he says. “I’m excited for my wellness break and getting to work with you.”

You’ve often wondered if an emotion like excitement is something an automaton can actually even feel, or if it’s just a number of ones and zeros put into layers upon layers of detailed coding. 

For some reason, you find yourself wanting to return the sentiment, however automatic it might be from the robot. “I’m excited to get to work with you too.”

It’s always kind of sad when you run a new level one automaton through their personalized wellness schedule. You’ve worked with all manner of high-class robots, from athletes to opera singers, but none of them have ever come into your program with the type of preexisting regimented day plan Mingyu has. 

You suppose it shouldn't be a shock that, as part of one of the biggest automaton boy groups in the galaxy, he’d had close to zero down time. When you show him the library and explain he should sit down in a spot of sun somewhere and read for an hour every day, at a slow pace, he looks at you like you’re crazy. 

“I don’t understand how this is supposed to help me,” he tells you, as you walk through the facility towards one of your favourite wellness locations; the pool.

“This might be an archaic example,” you explain, “but back when humanity first started making computers, laptops and such, many people would keep their computers on indefinitely. Sure they’d close the screen, but that’s not enough. You’d need to actually power down the device to keep its performance up.”

“I’m not a laptop,” Mingyu reminds you, with a flash of something like humour in his eye.

“You’re not,” you conceded, “which is why your nightly power downs aren’t enough. As an automaton, you were built to emulate being a human, but many people disregard one of the most fundamental aspects of humanity; the need for rest. Sleep and powering down isn’t enough if every waking moment is spent working or learning or practicing your trade- you have to allow for a variety of restful activities, such as reading, painting, gardening- it depends on who you are and your skillset though. For a chef, he might not gain rest from cooking because his neurons would still be firing with the intensity of someone doing their trade. Which is why, although I’ve given you physical activities such as swimming and tennis, you won’t be doing any dancing while you’re here.”

“What if I forget my moves?” 

“Something tells me the likelihood of that is very low,” you smile. 

“Okay, maybe I won’t forget my moves,” Mingyu sighs, “but I was made to dance. I was made to perform. What am I if not a level one dancer and singer?”

“There’s more to life than one’s job, however all-encompassing being a level one might be,” you explain. “I’m sure it’s very taxing on you.”

Mingyu pauses in the middle of the corridor you’re walking down, and you stop to assess him. 

“Are you alright?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he gives his head a little shake, and you’re shocked again at how human like the automaton is. “It’s just… no one has ever talked about this sort of thing with me. It’s always been work, work, work. It’s what I’m designed to do-”

“You may have been designed to be a dancer and a singer,” you nod empathetically, “but part of being alive is choosing your own destiny, as you and your bandmates all did when you escaped your facility.”

“Do you really think that?” he questions, standing very still and looking at you with a dark gaze. “That I’m alive?”

“At this point in time, artificial intelligence has progressed to the level where we’re told you’re sentient, that you can feel and think. That you’re as life-like as you’ve ever been in the history of the galaxy. You might have been created in a lab, hand crafted and designed by some would-be God engineer, but to me, yes, Mingyu, you’re alive.”

“I don’t bleed,” he says softly. “My skin is similar to yours, made of collagen and human dermal fibroblasts, but beneath all of this I’m still a machine. I don’t have a soul.”

“Is a soul the most important building block that makes something alive?” you ask, cocking your head and looking the robot up and down. 

He looks stumped, and you smile at the way you’ve found yourself in a very human-like philosophical debate with an artificial intelligence. 

You motion to the monstera deliciosa in a pot along the wall, its large, hybridized purple leaves reaching for the sun that beams through the glass windows. “Would you say that plant over there isn’t alive because it doesn’t have a soul?”

Mingyu is quiet for a moment or two, and then he looks down. “I guess not.”

“So it seems a soul isn’t a necessary element in being ‘alive,’” you conclude, “and besides, scientists are still debating whether or not AI, as it is today, creates its own soul when it’s brought into the world. Even though you were created in the same lab as your band mates, and given different coding at your creation, since then, you’ve all grown differently. Is that not kind of like a human being born with set genes only to be impacted by the world around it?”

Again, Mingyu takes a little while to respond. “I wasn’t given the code for being curious about sciences,” he tells you. “That would be Wonwoo, Minghao and Jeonghan. But, I guess what you’re saying makes sense.” 

“Good, it’s my job to make this process make sense to the Level One’s in my care.” You’re pleased at his response, and after another moment, Mingyu begins to follow you again. 

“What’s next on the schedule?” he asks.

“The best part of the facility,” you smile, “the pool.”

“What’s so good about the pool?”

“I’ve found that many level ones that come through here have never truly experienced swimming. The sensory differences of the water can be healing for humans and automatons. It will light up all the sensors in your skin, and if you focus on that, you can reach the closest thing to peace that I’ve ever seen an AI experience.” 

“How do you measure peace?”

“We’ve done studies with level ones submerged in cold and hot water tanks while connected to neuro maps, the results have been ground breaking in AI science. I’ll have to send you some to read while you’re doing your mandatory reading sessions.” 

You reach the doors that slide away to reveal one of the courtyards of the facility. It’s a lovely space, with all sorts of beautiful plants that dazzle with every colour of the rainbow. The ground is mostly white marble aside from the allocated vegetation zones, and a large rectangular pool in the middle of it acts as a meeting place for the few level ones in the center.

“This is one of the best places to meet other robots going through the same process that you are while you’re here,” you explain. “As a central hub, we recommend this as a location to do your reading, we have a yoga room but I could always teach you mind and body wellness out here-”

“I like this place,” Mingyu says, interrupting you for the first time since he’s arrived at the facility.

When you look at him, you find him taking in the space with eyes full of wonder. He looks beautiful, with the sun kissing his beautiful skin, and his dark, medium length curly hair all lit up to show off the soft browns amidst the darker hues. 

He truly is the most perfect automaton you’ve ever seen, and you’ve worked with a number of the galaxy’s top rated robots. 

One of these top rated AI’s, is Jeong Jaehyun, a member of another boy group who’s been having difficulties. He’d come in presenting with extreme competitive behaviors, but in the two weeks you’ve been monitoring him, he’s calmed down a great deal. You think, as you and Mingyu approach the pool where Jaehyun is doing laps, that this might be a good opportunity to introduce another robot to him.

Jaehyun’s met a number of other automatons in the facility, but none as close to his own profession as Mingyu. 

“There’s someone I want you to meet,” you tell Mingyu, coming to a stop on the edge of the pool. Your eyes track Jaehyun as he swims towards you, doing a near perfect front stroke style that he’d never even heard of before his own wellness break.

When Jaehyun reaches the edge of the pool, he stops and looks up at you, then his gaze shifts to Mingyu. Both robots have blank expressions, but when they nod to each other, there’s something akin to recognition in the behavior.

“Hello, Jaehyun,” you greet the swimmer. “This is Mingyu, he’ll be here at the facility with us for a while.”

“We know of each other,” Jaehyun tells you curtly. “At award shows.”

“Eight times,” Mingyu confirms. 

“Perfect,” you should have remembered as much, but you’ve been very occupied pouring over Mingyu’s history file as of late. “Mingyu will be starting his pool wellness treatment tomorrow afternoon. How would you feel about showing him the four main swimming strokes?”

Jaehyun nods. “I can do that.”

“That’s great news, thank you Jaehyun.” The automaton only nods to you before diving back into the water. You’ll never get used to the way robots can swim without goggles, and your own eyes sting a little at the thought.

“What’s he here for?” Mingyu asks quietly. 

“I thought you weren’t given the coding to be curious about sciences,” you quirk a brow, fighting a smile.

“It’s not a curiosity about science,” Mingyu insists. “Jaehyun has been one of the top AI models for Prada Universal for years.”

“I see,” you nod, “so you’re wondering if you can steal his contract if you make it out of here before him.”

“No, I-”

“It was a joke, Mingyu,” you tell him, reminding yourself that not all AI have the capacity to understand human humour, although they seem perfectly able to make their own. 

What your manager had said rings through your mind, as it does every day, ‘don’t get too close to this.’ It’s a fine line to walk. Your job is to treat them like humans, to give them the care and wellness that the filthy rich can afford, but at the same time, you need to keep a distance, to remember, always, what you’re dealing with. 

It’s days like this one where you wonder - even with all your training and ground breaking research - if you’re truly right for this job. Questioning ethics and philosophies of protocol aren’t behaviors you want to get used to any time soon.

Mingyu and Jaehyun have been swimming for an hour or so when Mingyu finally gets the courage to speak up. He’s run the scenario a number of times, without a successful hypothesis to calm his mind, and he figures if anyone will know the answer to his wonderings, it’s Jaehyun. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Uh huh,” Jaehyun is leaning against the wall of the pool. His eyes are closed and he looks to be enjoying the sunlight.

Mingyu can feel the heat of the hot star on his own skin, but he’s still getting used to the feeling of the water, so he’s unable to enjoy it the way Jaehyun can yet. 

“Y/N said she’d be showing me around and doing activities with me, but she’s not here right now,” Mingyu explains, looking over at Jimin, the young male wellness instructor who’d picked him up to head to the pool earlier. “Why isn’t she here?”

“Lower level wellness coaches watch us when we’re doing less strenuous activities,” Jaehyun responds. 

This eases Mingyu’s perceived anxieties, but what Jaehyun says next doesn’t.

“Although, my first week here, Y/N was at my side almost all the time. So, I guess today, Y/N ditched you because I said I’d teach you strokes.”

Mingyu hates feeling ditched, hates that Jaehyun has voiced the feeling of it. An inkling of aggressive tendencies flashes through Mingyu’s body, and he does his best to focus on the sun, squinting up at it as a way to calm himself, as you’d told him to try when he’d first arrived as an antiaggression tactic.

He’s not quite sure how to respond to Jaehyun’s statement, so instead, he goes for another question that’s been on his mind since yesterday. “What are you here for?”

“Hmm?”

“I mean, as far as I can tell, you don’t seem to have any malfunctions.” 

“I could say the same about you,” Jaehyun notes. “That is, if I hadn’t heard about your group’s escape from your management facility.”

Mingyu looks down at the way the sunlight refracts off the water, the marbling effect of the rays casting shadows across the bottom of the pool. “I get aggressive sometimes,” he says quietly. 

It’s hard admitting the faulty coding in his metal head, and he supposes he should show his own if he expects Jaehyun to return the favour.

The other automaton in the pool nods, running a hand through his wet hair. “I get competitive sometimes.”

“Really?” This is news to Mingyu, whose only experience of Jaehyun’s behavior today has been helpful and willing to teach. “I guess you’re doing well here, I wouldn’t have noticed any competitive traits in you.”

“Yeah, well,” Jaehyun looks up, and his eyes seem to be tracking something over Mingyu’s shoulder, “it depends on who’s watching.”

Mingyu guesses he can understand that, especially when he follows Jaehyun’s gaze to find you walking across the courtyard. 

Something clicks inside of him, the same thing that had darkened Jaehyun’s gaze, and Mingyu immediately feels a surge of what some might call endorphins- or perhaps even testosterone. 

“Show time,” Jaehyun says quietly, and Mingyu knows exactly what he means.

You stop to talk to the man who’s been keeping track of the two automatons in the pool, and then you head over yourself. There’s a smile on your face, and it makes Mingyu’s mechanical throat feel dry.

“Look at you two getting along,” you say, putting your hands on your hips as you gaze down at them. “Jimin said you guys have been mastering the strokes, care to show me?”

Mingyu is more than eager to show you what he’s learned, but when Jaehyun takes off at a speed he’s not yet shown, Mingyu almost feels blind sided. 

There’s a rush of feelings, as Mingyu swims off after his new robotic ‘friend.’ Admiration for Jaehyun’s competitive nature kicking in, even if it’s supposedly a downside, and a white hot need to better the other automaton and prove himself to you.

Luckily for Mingyu, he’s been built much bigger than his leaner friend, and the extra muscle robotics in his arms make it almost too easy to catch up with Jaehyun. 

Mingyu knows that this isn’t a competition, and yet, it is.

 If there’s one thing Mingyu knows how to do, it’s succeed. Winning is in his nature, it’s built into his very code, and when the two reach the other end of the pool with Mingyu ahead, it only proves to kick Jaehyun into a higher gear. 

They take off toward you again, and Mingyu pushes himself. He can feel the strain in his joints, the rush of water smoothing over his artificial skin. You were right about the healing properties of the pool, and nothing makes Mingyu feel more alive and himself than a little friendly competition with a fellow robot whom he admires, even if that competition is fueled by some of Mingyu’s more… less desirable driving traits. 

Mingyu beats Jaehyun again as they reach your side of the pool, and when he looks up at you for praise, he sees you have your tablet out. You seem to be jotting down a few notes, about him or Jaehyun, he’s not too sure. 

“You guys are fast,” you say finally. “Jaehyun, thank you for spending some time with Mingyu today.”

“No problem.” Jaehyun is already pulling himself up and out of the pool, perfect muscles flexing in the sunshine.

Mingyu rushes to follow, feeling the need to show off his own immaculate body to you-

“Mingyu,” you address him next, and it feels glorious to have your eyes on him, although they stay fixed on his face, “I see you haven’t been to the library yet, might I suggest that’s next on your wellness schedule today?”

“You won’t be joining me?” Mingyu can feel his metallic heart practically sink.

“Unfortunately not, I’ve got a meeting with my boss, but Jimin will go with you to find something to read.” You motion to the wellness worker still standing a few meters behind you, and he offers Mingyu a small wave that kind of makes him annoyed. “Is that alright?”

“Yeah,” Mingyu forces himself to say. “That’s okay.” 

“But I’ve got you in my schedule for tennis tomorrow morning, so I’ll see you then.”

Another nod of affirmation and then Mingyu’s watching you hurry off. 

Jaehyun’s drying his body with a towel next to Mingyu, and there’s a small smile on his face, as if he’s enjoying Mingyu being ‘ditched’ yet again.

Mingyu realizes maybe Jaehyun really isn’t doing as well with his recovery as he’d thought only a few minutes ago. 

Maybe he’s not doing so well either.

“I’ve got some bad news to report,” you say, as you take a seat in your boss's office, tablet in hand. 

“Let’s hear it,” Yoongi sighs, kicking his feet up onto his table and leaning back in his chair.

“I thought Jaehyun’s rehabilitation was going well, so I set him up to swim with Mingyu today-”

“What? Why?” 

“I wanted to see, in a controlled environment, how Jaehyun would react around other level ones he might perceive to be a threat. Seeing Jaehyun’s recovery alone is like testing in a vacuum, it doesn’t account for outside forces at play,” you explain. “Anyways, I was correct. When introduced to a situation where he could compete with someone on his level, Jaehyun’s competitive nature was back up again.”

“Did anything bad happen?” Yoongi takes his feet off his table, leaning forward now with interest.

The last time Jaehyun had gotten very competitive, it had ended up with him attacking one of his group members and landing himself back in your rehab center. The Kim Doyoung automaton had needed an hour of mechanical work to get his skin back to perfect after being sucker punched numerous times.

“I’m pleased to report there was no physical violence,” you admit. “Although, I will say, if he had tried something, I believe Mingyu would have been able to defend himself, unlike Doyoung.”

“Look at you,” Yoongi’s gaze shifts up and down your form, “taking bets on level one robots. You do know that street fighting automatons is illegal in most parts of the galaxy, right?”

“It wasn’t a street fight,” you assure your boss. “It was a simple test.”

“Right, you and your hypotheses.” Yoongi is a good boss. He supports your work and research, but sometimes you think he’s happy with things being the way they are. As if humanity has discovered everything possible, with no room for improvement.

“I’ll look some more into Jaehyun’s coding,” you continue. “I think there must be a line or two of something I missed last time, maybe level one specific competitive traits that should only be used on stage competitions that are bleeding over into everyday automaton life-”

“Good idea, you have permission.”

“But I was also thinking maybe I should look into Mingyu’s code-”

“No.”

“No?” you hold your tablet close to your chest, lips parting as you stare at your boss.

“Mingyu’s a more recent build than Jaehyun. I’ve been assured by his production team that this isn’t a coding issue, it’s a behavioral   one. Something he and his other members picked up since the time of their creation.”

“But-”

“We’ve been advised to not look at the code,” Yoongi says harshly. “You were hired because of your groundbreaking work with behavioral   changes to AI, the way you connect it to human behavioral   issues. You’re the one that keeps trying to convince me that these robots are as human as they’ve ever been, so stop treating Mingyu like a wrong coded robot, and start showing me you can fix him without getting coding involved.”

“Are you sure they said his coding was all up to date?” you press, knowing you might get in trouble for even continuing with this line of questioning.

Yoongi sighs. “Positive. No messing around with Mingyu’s code. There’s a behavioral   reason for the aggression, and you’re just going to have to figure it out.”

You’ve always liked tennis, for more than just the physical reasons. It allows you to test an automaton's ability to read the situation, their drive to adjust to the bodily limitations of the human playing with them.

While you start the easy game with Mingyu at a higher level, allowing him to show off his skills and inherent robotic strength, thirty minutes into the sport, you begin to dwindle in energy.

“I need a water break,” you tell him, passing the ball over to the robot to play with while you go to grab your bottle.

Mingyu waits patiently, tossing the ball up in the air. You see how many touches he can make without stopping, and you’re not too shocked at his ability to keep a steady volley with himself. 

When you set your water down, his attention is back on you, and he reminds you of an eager puppy in his excitement to once more have a game partner. 

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you assure him with a wave of your hand, steadying your grip on the handle of your racket. “Just a little tired.”

When Mingyu passes you the ball, he’s noticeably gentler than before, and you note that his adaptability is quite good. He’s very focused on you, much more than other automatons like Jaehyun had been when you’d first tried the sport with them. 

It’s different from the competitive - maybe even aggressive - way that he’d interacted with Jaehyun in the pool yesterday.

An easy hypothesis to make would be that Mingyu’s abilities adjust depending on who he’s with, so it should be no shock that he’d work harder with a fellow automaton. However, you’re not sure if that’s all there is to it.

You wonder what drives Mingyu. If he’s even aware of the way he’s lessened the force in his hits. 

Remembering what he’d said about tossing a band member around, the way he’d noted ‘Dino can take it,’ you think it’s very possible that Mingyu is reading your abilities. The same way you’re reading his. 

Before you can consider the situation more, however, you notice Jimin has arrived on the side of the court, and he waves you over.

“One moment, Mingyu,” you call, tossing him the ball once more before jogging over to your coworker.

“There was an incident,” Jimin explains, “with Jaehyun.”

“An incident?” 

Jimin nods. “He was racing a new level one in the pool.”

“Really?” Jaehyun’s been in the pool a number of times with other automatons, but other than what you’d witnessed yesterday, his competitive nature hasn’t truly shown itself, at least, not in a way that was overtly noticeable.

“There was some gloating involved,” Jimin continues, eyes shifting over your shoulder to where Mingyu is playing with the ball. “A few punches were thrown.”

Now you’re really alarmed. 

You haven't had time yet to look into Jaehyun’s coding, and you’ve been trying to focus on Mingyu as he’s newer to your program, but maybe this had been an oversight on your part.

“I’ll come right away,” you nod, turning your attention back to Mingyu. “I’m sorry about this, but I’ve got to go.”

“What?” Mingyu stops playing with his ball.

“There’s been an incident-”

“Can’t someone else take care of it?” 

This is the second time Mingyu’s interrupted you, and this time, it’s over a moment of contention. “Unfortunately no,” you tell him, “I’m the only one that can deal with this, Jaehyun’s under my care.”

“But…” Mingyu looks down at the ball in his hand, “we’re still playing tennis.”

“Jimin can play with you.”

“I don’t want Jimin.” The automaton is staring you down, and it takes a second for you to process his words, as your gaze keeps shifting to his hardening grip on the handle of his racket.

“I’m really sorry, Mingyu-”

“Please?” He pouts out his lower lip, a very childlike attempt at persuading you. 

“I have to go,” you say, more firmly this time.

There’s a stagnant moment of silence, and then, in one quick, rough motion, Mingyu breaks his racket on the court. 

“I don’t want to do tennis anymore,” he insists.

“Then I might suggest going to the library for a book.” You hate having to be detached with him like this, as it’s obvious he has needs that must be attended to- but his aggression towards an inanimate object like a racket isn’t the same level as Jaehyun’s aggression towards another patient at your facility.

You see Mingyu’s chest expand and then he seems to let out a deep exhale, it’s a motion that screams ‘annoyance,’ yet another emotion that could just be ones and zeros in his coding. 

You decide, as you watch the odd automaton have a tantrum on the court, that you have no choice but to take a look under his hood. You’ll have to dive deeper if you’re going to figure him out, Yoongi be damned. 

“I’m sorry, Mingyu,” you say again. “I’ll try to rejoin you as soon as I can, but for now, you’ll have to enjoy Jimin’s company.”

Mingyu doesn’t respond, and it feels like a deliberate snubbing, of both you and Jimin. 

It’s been a long day, and you really need to sleep, but this is the best chance you’ll have to get a peak into Mingyu’s inner workings. 

With the facility in off hours, and all the level ones set to sleep cycle, it’s easy for you to sneak into Mingyu’s room with your trusty tablet. Cameras are simple to wipe with the clearance you have, and you have no doubt that once you connect to Mingyu’s brain drive and get the data to your tablet, it will prove as good bedtime reading.

You’re in and out of his room in under five minutes, scurrying back to your own quarters like a thief in the night.

Once you’re all tucked into bed, you pull out your tablet and begin to sift through the coding that makes Mingyu tick.

People new to your field might feel overwhelmed by the amount of data, but you know exactly where to look, and soon, you’re staring at a few lines of base code that feel familiar. 

You’ve seen coding like this before, in your textbooks when you went to robotics school. Just to be sure you’re correct in what you’re seeing, you pull up a document pertaining to sex bots.

An early form of automaton, sex bots had been created with one purpose, to serve their master, in any and all capacities. Long since discontinued due to their bugs, and a tendency to imprint on human masters, causing ‘erratic behavior,’ you know you’ve found exactly what’s wrong with Mingyu.

But it doesn’t make sense. Mingyu is a new model. He’s not a banned robot from well over seventy years ago- 

The aggressive behaviors associated with sex bots are the reason their coding was banned, the reason engineers started again and adapted the algorithms- and yet, here you are, staring at lines of code that account for all of Mingyu’s behaviors. 

Closing your tablet, you reach for your glass of water, sitting in the shock of it all.

Things begin to add up in your brain; the way Mingyu had become more aggressive with Jaehyun yesterday in the pool when you’d arrived, even though Jimin had told you the two had been doing just fine together, the way Mingyu had reacted today when you’d left him to deal with Jaehyun.

This is a whole new take on behavioral   issues, one you’ve never accounted for-

Does Mingyu have… a crush on you? Has his outdated sex bot coding allowed him to imprint on you? 

How many other bots have this coding, hidden amongst the innumerable layers of intensely organized lines of personality traits- 

This changes everything, and above all, it changes how you should approach the automaton.

How can you utilize this new knowledge to best aid him in recovery? Is it better to assign someone else to him? Would that make the aggression worse? What unforeseen behaviors might arise if you were to separate yourself from him? What changes - for the better - might come out of this if you try to be softer with him, if you play into this ‘crush’?

Your head feels very full, but you suppose it could be worse, it could be full of bad coding.

Poor Mingyu. 

You know you’re probably breaking rules, but to be fair, when you’d accepted your position in the wellness center, there hadn’t been a chapter in the manual about how to deal with approaching sex bots. This feels like new territory, or perhaps, old territory, outdated territory, territory from a time when the lines between humanity and their automaton creation had been much more blurred.

Sure, there are sex bots in circulation today, but they’re all using new and improved code. They’re not disguised as level ones, but properly classified as a level three automaton. Level three’s are much more obviously robotic, and there are whole sections of cities on certain worlds with thriving sex bot industries- the type of bots with newer coding that don’t allow them to imprint or feel the lines of ones and zeros that some might call love.

You’ve never met a sex bot before, your work has always been directed toward the highly professional level one automatons. Because of this, your new plan of attack is entirely based on essays and readings you’ve done regarding the old form of bugged sex bots who had been responsible for an entire chapter of dark human history where man’s own creation had turned against him.

As you read through essays related to the sex bot bug, you find you hadn’t realized how deep the bug had gone. You’d heard about human masters being kidnapped or stalked by their sex bots, but you’d never thought the epidemic was as bad as you’re now reading it had been.

These cases of bad outcomes are in the periphery of your mind as you begin your day working with Mingyu. You’re sure there must be a fine line you’re walking, a line between bringing out the good aspects of the bad coding - the type of responses that will make Mingyu eager to get better - and the worst case scenarios. 

However, as aggressive as Mingyu has gotten so far, you’ve noted that most of his aggressive responses come out against inanimate objects and other automatons. You’re hoping these behaviors don’t progress to him acting out against any humans, least of all you.

It’s like you’re seeing Mingyu in a new light. It’s interesting how even a few shifts in your own behavior can bring out the best in him. Instead of simply watching him in the pool, you decide to join him, giving him your full attention as you swim three feet apart up and down the length of the tank. 

“How are you feeling today?” you ask.

“How am I feeling?” Mingyu looks at you sideways, keeping pace with your much smaller breast strokes.

“Yeah, how are you feeling?” you repeat the question. “You can answer it in any way you like.”

Mingyu seems to think on it for a moment. “I feel the water is twenty-seven degrees Celsius.” 

“Okay,” you laugh. “How about the sun? How’s it feeling on your skin sensors?”

“Thirty-three point five degrees, but when a cloud comes, it drops two degrees.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but when you were working before coming to the center, you didn’t get that much of a chance to be outside, how does it feel to be able to enjoy life’s simple pleasures like the sun and water?”

His response is immediate; “Good.” He looks forward, and you take a moment to appreciate the way the sun lights up the hues in his hair. “Really good.”

“Maybe even freeing?” you suggest.

He casts a sideways look at you again, and you see a small quirk of his mouth, something like a smile. “Yes, freeing.”

“When you and your other members escaped from your facility, the feeling of being free is what many of you were searching for, right?” 

“For most of them.”

“But not you?” you question. “Out of everyone who escaped, you were one of the only ones who purposefully allowed himself to be recaptured. Do you want to talk about that?”

You reach the edge of the pool and you stop, holding onto the tiled wall and turning your body to look at Mingyu. 

His eyes are fixed on the pool floor, and you realize he’s watching the shadows caused by the refraction of light in the water.

“A few others were convinced there was more to life than just performing our jobs every day,” Mingyu explains.

“But you like your job.”

“I did,” he traces his hand along the top of the water. “I do. But… I didn’t know how good it could feel to just exist.”

You stare at him for a few seconds, and then you find yourself reaching out to gently squeeze his arm. “I’m glad you’re feeling it now.”

Mingyu looks at your hand on his forearm, and his eyes meet your own. He’s quiet, so you retract your touch, grabbing at the tiled wall again. “We’ve been here for almost an hour. How do you feel about drying off and meeting in the library to find a book to read?”

“I already have a book.”

“Yeah, Jimin told me that you got a book about human psychology. I thought you said you weren’t interested in sciences?” 

“You’re making me interested,” Mingyu states, looking at you with an intensity in his gaze that almost makes you breathless. “I want to get better. I thought maybe doing some more reading on behavioral   sciences could help.”

“I admire your drive, Mingyu, I really do,” you nod, “but, remember, this is a wellness break for you. I think it would be beneficial to get a fiction book, something that doesn’t require you to always be learning and bettering yourself. It can be exhausting if you’re always in that state, as you’ve seen, it’s important to do things for… let’s say, the intrinsic value.”

“The intrinsic value,” Mingyu repeats. “Okay.”

You pull yourself out of the pool, and after a moment, Mingyu follows. 

It’s difficult for you not to look at his perfectly sculpted form, and you swallow a lump in your throat, reaching for a towel on a nearby sunlounger. Your tablet is there too, and you grab that next, checking the time. 

“How about we meet at the library entrance in ten minutes?” you suggest. “We should both head to our rooms for new clothes, can’t have water drops in the library.”

Mingyu is quick to agree, as he often is with you, and a moment later you’re parting ways. He heads to the recovery wing of the center while you go to the workers living quarters. 

You get changed in record time, and soon you’re approaching the library, where Mingyu is already waiting for you. He’s got a book in his hands, and the all white wellness outfit he’s wearing sets off the pretty colour of his skin and hair. When his eyes shift to yours, you see that even his iris’s look alight with lovely hues-

You mentally chastise yourself for being as attracted to him as you are, and when you speak, you’re thankful your tone is level. “Is that the book you’re reading?” you ask, motioning to the paperback in his hands.

As much as technology has overtaken the galaxy, here at the wellness center, there’s still an importance placed on the old ways. There’s something healing about having a book in your hands, testing the weight and the feeling of parchment pages against your finger tips-

Books are yet another thing that make humans human, as they were instrumental in the development of your species. You’re proud to work at a location that holds a large quantity of books, saved from many generations.

Mingyu shows you the book title, and you realize it’s one you’ve read before. “Oh, I know that one.”

“Jimin said the author was one of your professors in school,” Mingyu nods. 

“He did, did he?” You pause for a moment. “Did you ask him about me, Mingyu?”

The automaton looks down at the cover of the book in his hands, and he takes a few seconds before he responds. “I wanted to see the base algorithms in the way you think as a behavioral   robotics specialist.”

“The base algorithms-”

“This book, this professor, she helped create the building blocks for you to become who you are now. Your approach is based on her works, I can tell.” 

He’s very astute, especially for an AI who’d claimed to not have an interest in science.

You think about how his own base algorithm - that of a hybridized sex bot - has created building blocks for who he is now. The good (his sweet behaviors), the bad (his aggressive behaviors) and the ugly (the fact that at any time, the ticking time bomb sex bot could turn potentially deadly).

“Let's go find you a new book,” you say with a smile.

“Can I keep reading this one?” Mingyu asks, falling into step next to you.

“I suppose so,” you sigh, “but only if you also do an hour of fiction reading. Deal?”

“Deal,” Mingyu nods. 

You begin to walk through the shelves, and you realize there’s one fiction book that might capture Mingyu’s attention, especially if he’s interested in getting to know you better. “I want to show you a novel that changed my life.”

“Yes, please.”

Heading to the science fiction section, you find one of the older books in your library. “It’s called Frankenstein,” you explain, gently taking out the paperback and holding it in your hands. “It’s about a scientist who creates a sapient monster creature. It has parallels to when humanity created our first automatons,” as you say it out loud, you realize how true this is, especially considering the bugs of the first sex AI’s. “You’ve talked a bit of philosophy with me, and I think you’d like this one.”

You hold the book out to Mingyu, and he takes it softly into his hands. He flips it over, scanning the back summary. “Okay,” he nods, “I’ll read it.”

“Perfect,” you can’t explain why you get a surge of happiness when he agrees without a question, and you find yourself reaching out to gently touch his arm again, fingers ghosting past his skin-

Mingyu’s eyes immediately dart down to your hand, and then he’s looking up at you with an expression that has darkened. “This is the second time you’ve touched me today,” he states.

“Oh,” you pull your fingers away, even taking a step back from the automaton whose countenance has changed so much in a split second. “I’m sorry, Mingyu, I-”

“I don’t like these games you’re playing,” he continues.

“Games?”

“I know I’m a robot, but I still feel real. I feel more real here than I ever have before.”

“That’s good-”

“Listen,” he commands, stepping closer to you. “As a member of 53V3NT33N, I have two different states of mind coded into me, aggression and admiration. To love something, to admire it, is to feel aggressive when it’s questioned, to want to control it if even for a little while- it’s the need to consume it endlessly, as my fans consume and control me as an automaton.”

You stare at Mingyu, lips parted in shock.

“Even though I’m a member of a group, there’s a distance. Automatons can never truly motivate each other because our motivations are based on external human needs, it’s built into us- We can see when humans need us, and we do what we can to fix that need.” He pauses, looking down at you. “I know you need me, the way I’ve needed you since I got here.”

“Mingyu-”

“Don’t try to argue,” Mingyu shakes his head. “I feel it in your heart rate, picking up when I’m near. I hear it in your erratic breaths, the way they catch when I’m close. I see it in your pupil dilation when you look at me.” 

You can’t believe he’s noticed all these little things, things you hadn’t even necessarily noticed in yourself. 

When he speaks next, his aggression has visibly died down, and the soft manner of being returns to the robot you’ve known only a short time. “I know you love me, even if it’s still growing. It’s a kind of love that I’ll never experience from another automaton, and it’s the reason I’ll get better.” 

“But Mingyu-” you shake your head, “what if you can’t? What if the bug in your base code runs so deep I can’t fix it?” 

“The bug in my code?” 

You swallow thickly, fighting with yourself over whether or not you should even tell him what you’re about to disclose- but you think there’s no way around it. 

“I hate to be the one to tell you this, but, your erratic behavior- it comes from sex bot coding. There’s only a few lines of it, but it’s enough to make a difference.”

“Sex bot coding,” Mingyu repeats. 

“From what I understand, I think it was put into you to make you eager for human attention, to make you as life-like as possible in mood and temperament- but, there are downsides to that code, your heightened aggression is one of them.”

“And my heightened admiration too?” he suggests.

You nod. “There were many cases of sex bots ‘falling in love’ with their masters. Many people got hurt.”

“I won’t hurt you.”

“Mingyu,” you sigh, “that’s not the point.”

“Then what is the point?”

“The point is that we can’t do this. You have a group to get back to when this is all over-”

“I don’t belong with them,” Mingyu insists. “I belong with you. Someone real. Someone willing to look deep in my base code to find what’s wrong with me, someone with the skills to fix it. Someone whose pupils truly dilate, so I know what you’re feeling is real.”

For a moment, you’re reminded of old pre AI experiments where baby monkeys were given real and robot mothers. Those babies placed with the robots had behavioral   problems, no matter how life-like the scientists attempted to make the mechanical mothers, they still paled in comparison to the real thing.

Mingyu sees himself as real, like one of those baby monkeys, and now that he’s had a taste of you, it feels as if he might not ever be able to go back to the other robots. 

“I can be sure with you,” Mingyu says again, reaching out- 

You flinch, but you don’t shy away from his touch, and Mingyu’s fingers skim by your face, his thumb brushing your cheek bone. 

His skin is warm, and for a moment, you allow yourself to lean in to his touch, closing your eyes-

He feels so real. More real than any automaton you’ve ever worked with.

“You can’t stay here forever,” you insist, pulling away from his touch.

“My group is never going to be recaptured,” Mingyu’s hand drops to his side. “Some would rather die than go back. If there’s nothing to go back to, shouldn’t I be able to choose what happens to me now? Aren’t you the one who said ‘part of being alive is choosing your own destiny.’”

“I didn’t mean I wanted you to choose me-”

“What if you are my destiny?” Mingyu counters. “Out of all the possible places I could have gone to, all the wellness centers in the galaxy, I was brought here. Out of all your coworkers, with their own tactics, I was given to you. Out of everyone I’ve ever met, you’re the only person who’s really tried to understand me, to help me be free.” His eyes search your own, and he almost looks desperate. “What’s the point in all this healing if I just go back to the bad place. It would have been kinder to never try to help me at all if you’re just going to send me back.”

Your heart aches for him. 

You feel as if you’ve learned more about automatons in the past ten minutes than you had in all your years in school. 

“Can I…” Mingyu’s gaze drops to your lips. “Can I kiss you?”

The question snaps you out of your shocked daze, and you’re quick to shake your head. No matter how much you might wish he could kiss you, that he could cup your face again with one of his large hands and make you forget the world- you’re still at work. 

“We can’t,” you tell him. “Not here. Not now.”

Mingyu frowns.

“I need to talk to my boss about all of this,” you say, stepping backward and casting your eyes to the ground. You can’t focus while looking at Mingyu. 

“What if they terminate me for this?” 

Your gaze snaps up again, and you’re quick to shake your head. “I won’t let that happen,” you tell him. “I promise- I’d never let that happen, not to you.”

Mingyu stares at you for a few moments, and then he smiles. “I knew you cared about me too.”

“I told you not to get too close to this,” Yoongi sighs, leaning forward on his desk with his head in his hands. 

“Fine,” you concede. “You told me so. You told me so, and I didn’t listen. But, as much as I know that I went against numerous things you told me not to do, I’m glad I did, because if there’s one thing I owe to those in my care, it’s to do my job fully.”

“I don’t see how making a robot think he’s in love with you is part of doing your job.”

“I didn’t-” you bite your tongue. “I didn’t purposely go into this trying to lead Mingyu on-”

“Sure you didn’t.” Yoongi doesn’t seem convinced.

“Look,” you sit down in the chair in front of him, the hot seat, and you know that what you’re about to say is a risk. You could even lose your career over this, but, if you don’t speak up now, you’ll lose your integrity and you know it. “Mingyu is different-”

“He’s a robot.”

“Please,” you frown, “listen to me. I’ve been doing this job for a few years and I’ve never met someone like Mingyu. He’s unique, I knew that from the moment he started talking philosophy with me. I’ve learned more about AI in the past twenty-four hours than I have in maybe my whole life-”

Yoongi says nothing.

“I know you told me not to look into his coding-”

“You didn’t,” Yoongi groans.

“Things just weren’t adding up!” you insist, looking at your boss with a heavy heart. “Did… did you know that he has sex bot base code? Is that why you told me not to look too deeply into him?”

Yoongi puts his head in his hands. When he meets your eyes again, he’s frowning. “Sex bot code? In a new model like Mingyu?”

At least your boss hasn’t been completely compliant with whatever bullshit is coming out of Mingyu’s management office.

“Sex bot code,” you repeat, nodding firmly. “I triple-checked it. There’s just a few lines, easily missable, but it accounts for the bad behaviors. Especially once I talked more with Mingyu and realized he sees affection from his fanbase as love. It would make sense he’d get aggressive with other members in his group if he perceived them as earning more than him-”

“You know why sex bots were banned. You know about the dangers-”

“I do. I also know there are laws against it, which is why his management probably opted for a behavioral   specialist with rules not to look deeply into the coding. They hoped I could fix this without ever finding out that what they’ve been creating is illegal- but how many more robots that come through here might have the same code?” You have no clue how deep this conspiracy might run. “Just think about it, how do you make a level one celebrity robot as life like as possible? You give it some of the characteristics of humans that are our deepest downfalls, jealousy, aggression, restlessness, a need to perform- a need to do well for the humans that pay their companies whole fortunes-”

“Any well-coded robot can have what looks like jealousy, aggression and other typically bad human traits,” Yoongi points out.

“Yeah, but this is that on steroids. Automatons used to kill humans in the name of their beloved master, for any perceived infraction.”

“So you’re saying Mingyu is dangerous.” 

Your lips part in shock. “I’m saying, he has the capacity for it, as much as any human.”

“This is bad.”

“It is, but with the right treatment- Mingyu wants to get better, I know he does.”

“And how do you suggest you accomplish that?”

“We let him be free. We make sure he doesn’t go back to extreme schedules, to a dark management facility with handlers who only care about money. We make sure he doesn’t go back to all the things that would drive any human insane.”

“He’s not human, don’t forget that,” Yoongi warns you. “And we don’t get to decide if he goes back. He has a job-”

“His members might not ever be recaptured,” you point out. “Mingyu says some would rather die than go back- is that not proof enough that their treatment isn’t humane?”

“Again, we’re talking about a robot.”

“AI are sentient!” you insist. “You should know that better than almost anyone. Are you really going to sit here and tell me that even after all this time, you still see automatons as simple machines that we can do what we want with?” Yoongi is quiet so you continue. “Mingyu’s base code might be archaic, but maybe our treatment of robots is too.”

“Look, this isn’t up for debate. You’re talking about fighting galaxy law-”

“I’m talking about having a job where we deal with broken AI but never fix the real problem. I’m talking about freedom being the thing that truly helps AI. I’m talking about humanity being the bug in every robot’s misdeeds-”

“This is bordering on conspiracy theory.”

“We’re way past conspiracy,” you tell him. “Please, freedom is the only thing we’ve never tried as a long term solution to automatons that are having trouble. As much as we do our best to fix them, we always throw them right back into their jobs, into the thing that breaks them in the first place and then they end up back here.”

“Mingyu was built to be exactly where he is now.”

“Well maybe we shouldn’t be creating sentient lives just to throw them into slave-like jobs and threaten destruction if they don’t adhere to their company’s insanely high standards.”

Yoongi holds your gaze but he says nothing, mouth set in a firm line.

“Look, if there was ever a time to test this theory, it would be with Mingyu. I’m a hundred percent positive that his group will never be whole again. If we try this, and it works, if Mingyu’s aggression goes back to a normal level, if he shows everyone that there can be a happy medium when working with robots- it could change everything.”

There’s another stagnant silence and you wait for your boss to chastise you, for him to even fire you-

“You know what,” Yoongi sighs, “I’m not going to argue with you over this any more. I don’t make the decision, his management does. If you want to call them, and explain what you’ve just explained to me, you can do that. But this is your shitstorm, and I don’t want to be part of it.”

“So… so you’re saying I can go forward with this treatment plan?”

“You can, but, I can’t protect you from any consequences of your actions. And I hope you know that once you do this, once you admit to going against their rule to not to look into his coding, there’s no going back.”

Mingyu can feel his aggression levels rising the moment Jimin shows up at the tennis court instead of you, but he focuses on the self-soothing tactics you’d shown him in his entry to wellness booklet. His grip on his racket tightens, but not enough to break it, and he tries to keep a level tone when he asks, “Where’s y/n?”

“She’s in a meeting,” Jimin says dismissively. 

“With who?” 

“That’s none of your concern.”

Mingyu stares at Jimin for a few seconds. “I want to speak to your manager.” 

Jimin makes an amused face. “I didn’t realize they taught you KAREN code in robotics labs. Aren’t you supposed to be a level one?”

Mingyu doesn’t have time for digs about him being a bitchy woman from over a hundred years ago, and he certainly doesn’t have time to play tennis if you’re somewhere talking to your boss about him, somewhere risking your job and his life-

“If you really must know, she’s on a conference call with your management, discussing your treatment plan.”

Mingyu supposes if there’s one thing he should admire about Jimin, it’s his loose lips. “Is she in her quarters?”

“Now that’s really not your concern.”

For a split second, Mingyu considers breaking his racket, but instead, he simply sets it on the ground before turning to take off in the direction of your room. 

He’s never been to your private space, or even in the worker’s wing, but two days ago, you’d mentioned that you have a corner room, one that overlooks the northwest skies, where you can see the sunset and the moons-

He’d also seen a map of the facility, on numerous fire escape screens, and it’s a quick deduction to figure out where you should be. 

He can’t afford to be wrong about this, and for the first time in his life, Mingyu finds himself praying to the human God that he’s able to get to you. To help you in your bid to protect him from his own masters.

Mingyu is running through the facility, but no one tries to stop him, and he’s glad that the wellness center doesn’t have the same armed guards that he’d been accustomed to for most of his life. There are no true handlers here, and it almost feels like freedom for the automaton.

He’s chasing after you, after his destiny-

With beyond human ear sensors, Mingyu is able to hear your voice as he rounds the hall that should lead him to your room, and by the time he’s stopped in front of your door, he knows he’s in the right place.

He also knows that you’re being shot down by his management, and he can hear the ceo, a Mr. Han, chastizing you for looking into Mingyu’s code.

Mingyu wants to barge in, but he finds the control in himself to knock. He hears you apologize profusely, the shrill sound of your chair being dragged across the floor, then footfalls-

Your door opens and Mingyu looks down at you, relief flooding his system.

“Mingyu-��

“I need to be here for this,” he insists. “This can’t be decided without me.”

Your lips part as if to protest, but then you shut them, and you hold the door open wider for the robot to enter the space.

A large screen on your wall shows that not only is Mr. Han present, but many of the other ceo’s and managers from Mingyu’s entertainment company. These are the men and women who have dominion over him, the men and women that could terminate him with one phone call-

His entire life is riding on this moment, and Mingyu decides there’s no possible way he can afford to fuck this up, in any capacity. Not only for himself, but for you too.

“Y/N didn’t do anything wrong,” Mingyu states, approaching the screen so his management team can see him properly. 

Mr. Han sighs. “She went against explicit rules about tampering with your base code-”

“And you created me using illegal code.” Mingyu knows he’s being aggressive, he can feel it, but he knows that this fact is his biggest bargaining chip, and he’s not afraid to use it right out of the gate.

There’s silence on the conference call.

“This would be a scandal if it got out,” Mingyu continues, “more than it already is.”

“Mingyu,” you say quietly at his side, “don’t-”

“No, they need to hear this,” he insists. “They need to know they can’t push you or me around anymore.”

If there’s one language Mr. Han understands, it’s that of business, and Mingyu’s lucky he knows how to speak it as well. “I don’t know what has already been said,” he confesses, “but I’ve run this through my head, and there are only a few options. Some are better than others.”

“We’re listening,” Mr. Han sighs.

“Option one, you try to hide all of this, but it gets out anyways. Using bugged sex bot coding will get out sooner or later, and you’ll all go down being known as the company that used illegal coding to make their money and put their team at risk.” Mingyu stares into the camera, hoping the impact is clear. “Option two… you allow y/n to continue her revolutionary behavioral   treatment on me, it’s successful, and somewhere down the line you can come out admitting there were mistakes in the base code, but now you have a solution for it.”

“I feel like we have more options than that,” Mr. Han says. 

“Maybe,” Mingyu admits, “but the way I see it, all that matters is these two. The bad coding comes out now, and you’re exposed with no solutions, or, it comes out later with a fix already in place.”

“So you expect us to just allow you to stay at the wellness center forever?” Mr. Han questions, as if it’s one of the most preposterous things he’s ever heard. 

“Not forever.”

“You were made to perform, made to make the company money, to work-”

“My group will never be whole again,” Mingyu states. “You won’t be able to recapture all thirteen of us-”

“That’s yet to be determined.” Mr. Han is trying to make it sound like anything is possible, but Mingyu knows it’s highly improbable, and these are odds he’s willing to bet his life on.

“I can be your success story,” he insists. “I can continue doing modeling jobs, continue being a brand mouthpiece for the company- most of us automatons want to work, but, if there’s one thing I’ve learned while being in this facility, it’s that everyone deserves a break. I might be a robot, but I have needs too. I’ll perform better if tactics from this facility are applied to my day to day schedule-”

“You want to be treated like a human?” Mr. Han asks in shock. “Given weekends off?”

“I might not have a soul,” Mingyu admits, “but I’m alive. I have feelings. I have needs, wants,” his gaze slides to you, “aspirations.” 

Mr. Han laughs, “Aspirations? Outside of performing? Like what?” 

“Right now, I’m trying to read a very good book,” Mingyu states. 

“This is preposterous.” Mr. Han sighs.

“What’s preposterous is the working conditions that your company implements on your AI.” For the first time, Mingyu’s gaze shifts to the other people on the screen. “Think about your sons, your daughters, nieces, nephews- would you want your loved ones forced to do the life I was forced to do? Working all day, every day? With handlers threatening them at every turn? Or would you want to give them some semblance of balance?” 

No one says anything.

“You say me and my members are the ones with bugs, we’re the ones that have to be fixed, but it’s the system that’s faulty. What’s the point of AI that’s life like if it’s not free? If it’s not truly living- sitting in the sun, reading a good book, playing stupid sports games with no pressure to excel to an extreme? What’s the point in parading me around if you never give me the environment to achieve past my intrinsic base code? To become more than what I am, a passionate AI who wants to do good for the galaxy?”

“You do good by making your fans happy.”

“There’s more to life than their happiness. First, I need to reach my own. Without constraint, or threat, or fear.”

 Ten seconds pass before Mr. Han says anything. “We’ll need time to consider this. After deliberation, we will call you back.”

The line is dropped and Mingyu hears you let out a deep breath he hadn’t known you were holding.

“Well,” you bite at your lip, “at least it wasn’t an immediate no.” You turn to him, reaching out and grabbing his hand. “I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. They can say what they want going forward but, as far as I’m concerned, Mingyu, this is the first time I’ve really seen you truly free.”

Waiting for Mingyu’s management team to deliberate is one of the hardest hours of your life. You want to try to stay calm, for Mingyu more than anything, but he sees right through you. When you begin to pace, the automaton stands up to join you, moving back and forth through your space with a concerned expression.

When the shrill sound of your meeting room ringing makes you practically jump, Mingyu reaches out and squeezes your hand, giving you a look that says ‘we’ll get through this,’ although, you’re not so sure.

“Hello, Mr. Han,” you greet the ceo on your screen, fidgeting with your fingers.

The rich man knows time is money, and he cuts to the chase. “After careful consideration,” he says with a sigh, “we’ve decided we can open negotiations with you about the future. As it is true that we might not ever have a complete 53V3NT33N unit again, we think it’s best if Mingyu stays in the center under your care, although in a month’s time, we will revisit this situation with new updates such as the possible recapture of any other members.”

You’re in shock. Completely overwhelmed- and luckily, Mingyu is there to confirm the details where you’re unable to speak. 

“Revisit the situation,” Mingyu repeats. “So this means you won’t terminate me.”

“Not any time soon,” Mr. Han confirms. “We all agree that if your sex bot base code gets out, it would reflect badly on all of us. It seems as if you’re making progress at the center, and if there is a behavioral   answer to the base code bugs, we’d like to find it. Good work y/n. And Mingyu, we’re pleased with your commitment to getting better.”

“Thank you, Mr. Han,” you swallow thickly. “I’ll write a full report on my findings detailing Mingyu’s progress, triggers, and the reasoning behind how his base code is affecting aggression levels.”

Mr. Han nods. “We’ll be excited to receive it, and we’ll be in touch.”

With a short goodbye, the call ends. 

You stand there for a moment, still in shock.

“We did it,” Mingyu breathes, turning to you. “We did it!”

“You did it,” you tell him, reaching out to grab his hands. “Mingyu, I can’t believe-” Your voice cracks, and you can’t complete your sentence, but it doesn’t matter because your big, lovable, automaton is pulling you to his chest, wrapping you in a hug that calms your entire body.

You lean into his embrace, resting your cheek against his strong form and taking a deep breath of relief. 

He holds you for a while, hand stroking your back. “Do you need me to go back to my room?” he asks.

“What?” You pull away to look up at him in confusion.

“I thought maybe you’d have to go tell your boss about this-”

“No,” you shake your head quickly. “He can wait.” You’re so close to him, as close as you’ve ever been, and you find yourself staring at his perfect lips. “He can wait, because I want to do something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s something that’s been on my mind since that first day I met you, something I never allowed myself to want- but now it’s something I think we both need… can I kiss you, Mingyu?”

“Please-” he practically melts in your embrace, looking down at you with those star filled eyes that had captured your attention the very first time you’d seen him. 

You reach up, cupping his cheek and getting on your tiptoes to press your lips to his. 

You’ve never kissed an automaton before, and as Mingyu reacts to you, opening his mouth to allow your tongue to glide across his own, you find that kissing him isn’t much different from any of the humans you’ve kissed in your life. In fact, it’s better. 

His own hands slip around your waist, pulling you tight to the front of his body. You stifle a moan from the contact, loving the way he feels against you.

“Mingyu,” you whisper against his lips, already able to feel yourself getting wetter and wetter-

“More,” he insists. “Please, I want more.” 

“Then take me to bed,” you say simply, all your inhibitions disappearing as you revel in the sanctity of being in his arms.

The automaton reaches down and lifts you up as if you weigh nothing. You wrap your legs around his waist, kissing him deeper as he closes the short distance to your mattress. He lowers you slowly onto the horizontal surface, and you marvel at the control his robotic muscles provide for him in man handling of you. You could definitely get used to this.

Then you realize something, and you stop kissing him, taking a breath while his mouth moves to your neck. “Mingyu- have you ever done anything like this before?”

“Hmm?” he hums against your throat.

“I mean… with all your work and handlers, have you ever…” you bite your lip, “have you ever had sex?”

Mingyu pulls away to look down at you, and then he gives his head a small shake. “I’ve never had the time… never met the right person.”

A virgin sex bot, who’s ever heard of such a thing? 

“But,” he continues, “I have the base code for it, and with my people pleasing tendencies, I don’t think I’ll have any trouble making you feel good.”

“That was never in question,” you assure him, cupping his face and drawing your thumb across his cheekbone. “And tonight shouldn’t just be about me. I can take care of you too… in fact, the whole point of this wellness center is me looking after your needs, wouldn’t you agree?”

Mingyu blinks at you, and he makes no word of protest when you push at his chest, encouraging him to roll so his back is pressed to the mattress while you steady yourself on top of him, straddling his hips.

“We can take this slow,” you tell him, leaning down to kiss his lips before moving to his neck. “Let me know what makes you feel good.”

“You feel good,” he says, dragging his hands along your form. “Your body feels perfect.”

“Yeah?” You swivel your hips, rubbing your core against the large bulge forming in his pants. “Does it feel good when I grind on you?”

“Feels like heaven,” Mingyu confirms, fingers digging into your waist, encouraging you to apply more pressure when you rut against him.

“How about your neck?” you ask, pressing more kisses there. “Do you have any sweet spots?”

“I think… just below my ear-” Mingyu shivers when you lick the spot in question, and the reaction fuels your ego, making you more confident than ever. “Wow-” 

You find yourself giggling, teasing your hands over his white shirt and toying with the hem. “Can I take this off of you, Gyu?” 

“Gyu-” he repeats almost wistfully. “I mean, yeah, yes.” 

When you begin to tug the fabric up, Mingyu lifts his shoulders off the bed, aiding you in the removal of his shirt. 

You’ve seen him shirtless before, while in the pool, but you’d had to try really hard not to appreciate his body then. Now, you can fully lean into your lust for him. 

“You’re so beautiful, Gyu,” you whisper, tracing a nail along his washboard abs. 

“You are too-”

“But right now is about you,” you remind him. “Let me appreciate you, please?”

You return your mouth to his neck, suckling on the spot that makes him dig his fingers into your hips again. He lets out a pretty moan, and in return, you grind your core against his bulge, beginning the descent of your lips to his collarbone, then his chest-

“You know,” you breathe as you stop your mouth on his abs, looking up at him, “I’ve read that automatons can cum multiple times without needing to recharge… does that mean you’ll let me suck you off before I fuck you? Seeing as this is your first time, I wouldn’t want to skip over any milestones.”

“Please-” Mingyu’s hips push up almost involuntarily, and you have to settle your hands on his waist. “Are you… are you sure about this?”

“Are you?” 

“More than anything.”

“Then we’re on the same page,” you tell him, hooking your fingers in the waistband of his white joggers. “I’m going to take your pants off now.”

As he did with his shirt, Mingyu helps you undress him, lifting his hips to make it easier for you to slip the fabric down. You make a conscious decision to leave his briefs on, wanting to toy with him a little, to go slow-

When you cup his bulge, Mingyu moans loudly, and you look up at him with a cocked brow. “Very sensitive, hmm?”

“You just feel so good,” Mingyu groans. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“You’re so big,” you nearly whimper, squeezing his cock through his briefs.

“Nine inches,” he confirms. “Is that… is that okay?”

“It’s big,” you say again, playing with his briefs. You’d left them on to toy with him, but you’re pretty sure you’ve only successfully toyed with yourself. “Can I pull these down?”

“Please-” again, Mingyu lifts his hips, helping you remove his final piece of clothing. 

His large cock practically slaps up against his abs, and you groan at the sight. You suppose he’d been built by someone, made to be perfect, in every way, so you shouldn’t be surprised by how beautiful he is. Yet, you are. 

You wrap your hand around the base of his length. “I don’t think I’ll be able to fit much of you in my mouth,” you tell him honestly.

“That’s okay,” he assures you. “Your hand feels really good.”

“Does it?” You rub your thumb over the large vein that runs along the underside of his cock, appreciating how realistic he is. Of course, as an automaton, Mingyu’s body doesn’t really need veins, but it’s the thought that counts, and whoever designed Mingyu put a lot of thought into him. 

“So good-” Mingyu groans. 

You kitten lick the head of his cock and Mingyu moans louder. “You’re going to have to be a little quieter, Gyu,” you instruct. “Even though I love your sounds.”

“Okay, I’ll try-” he nods, watching you with a dazed expression.

This time, instead of just licking him, you wrap your whole mouth around his large tip, suckling on the skin. Mingyu lets out a small whimper, grabbing at the bed sheets. 

You’re not sure if Mingyu’s cock will feel the same type of skin irritation of dry strokes, but you want him to have the best experience possible, so you allow yourself to drool on his cock. You bob up and down on what can fit in your mouth while collecting the spit lubrication, rubbing it along his shaft and applying a good amount of pressure-

“Shit-” This must be the first time you’ve heard Mingyu cuss, and the thought delights you as you continue to blow him like your life depends on it. 

You close your eyes, getting lost in the feeling of pleasuring him. It’s been a while since you’ve slept with anyone, as working out of a wellness center doesn’t provide you with many opportunities to meet men, especially men who you like. But you really like Mingyu, in fact, part of you thinks you might even love him, as crazy as that sounds. 

You’d almost forgotten how good it feels to give this sort of attention to someone you care about, and your hand moves faster on his cock while you try to take more of him into your mouth.

“This feels amazing-” Mingyu breathes above you, and it gives you the motivation you need to be extra daring, allowing the tip of his cock to hit the back of your throat- “Fuck-” 

His hips push up slightly and you rest one of your hands on his abdomen again, encouraging him to stay still while you blow him. As much as you’d like to let him fuck your face, he’s simply too big to do that, especially when you haven’t had a cock in your mouth in months. 

You continue stroking him, but you pull your lips from his length, taking a breath and looking up at the gorgeous man. “Do you think you can cum for me, Gyu?”

“I can do anything for you,” he whispers back.

“Yeah?” you pump his cock harder, leaning down to lick the underside from base to tip. 

“Please-” he practically begs. “I think I’m close-”

With the way automatons often power down at night, you wonder if he’s ever even touched himself. If he’s ever actually cum before- but now’s not the right time to ask for details, not when your mouth needs to be on him again instead of talking. 

You go back to sucking on his cock, paying special attention to the sensitive tip while your hand works what your mouth can’t. All the while, Mingyu’s small sounds of pleasure keep you going, and they get pitchier and pitchier until you know he’s on the cusp of an orgasm.

“Oh my god,” he moans, “I’m gonna-”

The automaton can’t even finish his sentence, his whole body tensing as he explodes down your throat. You’re pleasantly surprised to find that his cum tastes like grape- and you’re reminded that sex bots have flavoured ejaculate. If you remember correctly, grape had been a flavour often given to the hopeless romantic/soft boy bots, and you realize how fitting it is.

You also realize that this might be why Mingyu’s been kept under such lock and key. If anyone had ever tasted his cum, they would have immediately made the sex bot connection. As far as you know, many non sex bots have flavourless cum, or something akin to the taste of a human’s but Gyu’s is one hundred percent sex bot and one hundred percent sexy. 

It actually tastes good, and you have no problems swallowing every drop, working Mingyu through his orgasm until he’s whimpering above you, reaching down to push the hair out of your face.

You pull off Mingyu’s cock, looking up at him to find the most blissed out automaton you’ve ever seen. “That was amazing,” he tells you. 

“I enjoyed that too,” you admit.

“You did?” He watches you sit up, undoing the buttons of your shirt. 

“Uh huh, you taste perfect, Gyu.”

“I do?” He looks almost bashful, and as handsome as ever. “I bet… I bet you taste good too.” 

Your pussy throbs and you let out a deep breath, removing your shirt. “Maybe you should see for yourself.”

“Fuck, yes, please-” Mingyu sits up abruptly, grabbing you and gently tossing you onto the bed next to him. You land on your back, and Mingyu is quick to get between your legs, lips finding your own.

He only kisses you for a moment before he begins a descent that’s similar to what you’d done to him, and you wonder if he’s using your own actions as a base for learning what to do in a sexual situation. 

His tongue teases over your collar bone and his large hand comes up to cup your breast. “Can I take your bra off?” he asks.

“You can take everything off,” you confirm, arching your back so he can slip his hand under you and undo the clasp in record speed.

Your breasts are now exposed to the cool air of your room, and your nipples pebble for Mingyu’s eager mouth. His lips wrap around a sensitive bud while his fingers begin to play with the other, teasing and gently pinching at you.

You moan, threading your own digits through his hair. “Feels so good, Gyu.”

He groans, teeth grazing your nipple and causing you to buck your hips, pushing up against his body-

“Please-” you whimper, and Mingyu seems to know exactly what to do with your begging. His hand slips between your bodies, and he works on the front of your pants while he continues to worship your chest. 

When he gets your button and zipper undone, his mouth continues it’s descent, both hands reaching to tug on your pants. You lift your hips, and in one motion, you find yourself completely naked. 

Mingyu’s much too big to lie on the foot of the bed, so he slips to the floor, grabbing your legs and pulling you closer. “You look so pretty,” he tells you, adjusting your thigh onto his shoulder while looking at your pussy. “So wet and perfect-”

You feel your skin heat with something like embarrassment, but the feeling quickly dissipates as soon as Mingyu brings his mouth to your core. 

He doesn’t start with kitten licks, but instead goes all in. His tongue pushes into your hole, nose brushing by your clit while he tastes your walls. The feeling is absolutely delightful and it makes you gasp, reaching down to thread your fingers through his soft hair, grinding yourself against his face.

“Mingyu,” you whimper, “just like that!”

He continues to eat you out, continually brushing his nose by your clit while you close your eyes and enjoy the sensation. His tongue is like magic, especially when he pulls it from your hole to circle your sensitive nub.

When you look down at him, you find him watching you, checking you for reactions, and the eye contact makes your stomach do flips. “You’re so good,” you tell him, knowing he likes praise.

He sucks your clit into his mouth and you cry out, hips pushing toward his face-

One of his large hands finds your abdomen, holding you down against the bed while the other slips between your legs, two fingers easily sliding into your hole beneath his tongue on your clit. 

The feeling has you grabbing at the sheets, orgasm building in the pit of your stomach. “I’m close,” you tell him. “Please, Mingyu-”

He sucks on your clit even harder, pumping his fingers in and out of your wet hole until your pussy is clamping down on him and you’re cumming hard. You cry out, whole body alight with pleasure as he works you through your high, tongue circling your clit and causing tingles of euphoria to jitter through you until you’re bucking your hips and on the edge of overstimulation.

Mingyu pulls away from you, slowly pumping his fingers before removing them too. Then he brings his digits to his lips and you watch him lick them clean, groaning at your taste. 

You need him more than you’ve ever needed anyone in your entire life.

“Please, Gyu,” you whimper. “I need you inside of me-”

He stands from the foot of the bed, towering over you while you open your legs for him. Then one of his knees digs into the mattress and he’s joining you again, lifting you up so he can position you higher, with your head on the pillows. 

He grabs the base of his cock, looking down between your bodies to where he’s rubbing through your folds. “What if this hurts you?” he asks. 

“It won’t. You won’t,” you assure him, grabbing at his strong shoulders. “I trust you.”

He looks deep into your eyes, leaning down to kiss you before he begins to push into your wet hole. You moan against his lips, body working to accommodate the large intrusion that he so gently slides into you.

“You’re so tight,” he whimpers, “so warm.” 

“Only for you Gyu, only for you-”

He kisses you then, giving small thrusts until he’s burying himself completely, your bodies are flush together while you wrap your arms around the back of his neck. You’ve never felt anything like Mingyu, and when he takes his first real thrust, you cry out in pleasure, moaning desperately against his mouth.

His hand digs into your hips, keeping you anchored while he picks up his speed, and that’s when you remember that as an automaton, he can go as fast as he wants, for as long as he wants. 

He’s hitting spots deep inside of you, spots that have never truly been used until now, and you know that you’re not going to last long like this. 

When his lips move down to the sweet spot on your neck, you can feel your pussy clench around him, and Mingyu groans against your skin.

“You’re perfect,” he tells you, fucking you harder. “So perfect-”

You can’t even speak, can’t tell him that he’s the one who’s perfect. All you can do is moan in his ear while he makes you feel like no one else in the galaxy ever has.

You’d come into this hoping you’d be the one fucking him, the one taking care of him, but now, he’s taking care of you, and you promise yourself to return the favour when possible. You’d love to ride him, but your legs already feel like jelly, and when Mingyu slips a hand between your bodies again, drawing circles on your clit, you know you’ll be a goner soon.

“Gyu-” you whimper. “I’m so close-”

“I want you to cum,” he groans, fucking you faster. “Wanna make you cum.” 

“Please,” you’re nearly crying from how perfect it all feels. “So good, so good-”

“I’m close too,” he tells you. “Watching you cum will send me over- you’re so pretty when you cum.”

His praise makes your core throb again and you gasp, threading your fingers through his hair and bringing his lips to yours. You can’t explain it, but you want to be kissing him when you’re thrown over the edge, want to be completely consumed by him-

“Gyu-” you whimper, closer and closer-

He kisses you harder while he fucks you stupid, taking your breath away until you’re gasping out as you fall over the edge, pussy clamping down hard on his cock.

He moans into your mouth, pace never faltering as he fucks you through your orgasm, working you for all you’re worth while you claw at his shoulders and whimper pathetically. 

You can feel him filling you up, coating your insides with his cum, making you his needy little whore. You feel greedy for it, for all of it, for all of him. 

His thrusts slowly come to a stop, and he pulls away from your lips to look down at you, watching you catch your breath. “Would it be crazy to tell you I love you?”

You laugh, shaking your head. “No crazier than me returning the sentiment.”

“Really?” His mouth is on yours a moment later, and he kisses you with newfound passion.

It’s easy to get lost in his lips again, even while his cock is still buried balls deep in your pussy, and you wrap your arms tighter around the back of his neck, hoping he never leaves you.

It seems as though the same thought is on Mingyu’s mind, because when he pulls away, he asks, “What happens after all of this?”

“I’m not sure,” you admit. “But… no matter what, I’m going to fight for you. I promise.”

“Really?”

“Uh huh. I’ve worked in this facility for years- I’ve watched level ones come in and out of here, seen the wear and tear, the use of bad coding. I’ve got lots of ideas on how to help you - and them - get better. If you’re not the only one with sex bot code, it would explain a lot of the issues I’ve seen-”

“Are you going to fix me?” the automaton asks.

For some reason, you find yourself laughing. “Mingyu,” you cup his face, thinking through all the events that have led you to this moment. “I could never fix you, you don’t need to be fixed. In fact… I think you fixed me.”

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🔮 preview. He’s an AI with sexbot coding and a one track mind when it comes to making love, and you honestly sort of love that about him. 

cw/ tw. Sad Gyu, distraction sex, pussy eating, pussy stretching, fingering, blowjob, unprotected sex, teasing, multiple positions, multiple orgasms, praise, big dick mingyu, switchy/submissive leaning Mingyu, hair pulling, breast worship, mention of the classic sex bot flavoured ejaculate, etc…

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 3.1k I teaser wc. 600

🌙 staring. Mingyu x afab!Reader

bonus

It’s been months since Mingyu came to the wellness centre, and everything has been going above expectation for him. He’s doing brand endorsements again and his management team has done a great job smoothing over the escape that took place.

You’ve been working on his coding, using behavioral   therapies, and Mingyu’s aggression is at an all time low. He’s happy most days, and you are too… that is, until you get word that one of his band mates has been recaptured.

Against all your protests, his management team insists that Mingyu return to Earth to see the AI Mingyu knows as Dino. It’s a brief trip, and the fourty eight hours he’s gone feel like the longest in your life. There’s no way of knowing how this reconnection with a former ‘friend’ will affect Mingyu, and you brace yourself for damage control as you wait for his ship to land, returning him to your care.

He’s frowning as he exits the shuttle, and when he pulls you into a hug, he squeezes just a little too tight. “Come inside,” you tell him softly when he releases you. “I’m sure we have a lot to talk about.”

He says nothing, but he holds your hand as you lead him into the facility, walking unopposed to your quarters. Mingyu’s in your sole care, and your manager, Yoongi, has washed his hands of anything dealing with your new AI turned lover. You prefer it this way.

Mingyu’s quiet as you close your bedroom door, and he walks over to collapse onto your bed, staring at the floor.

“Take your time,” you say softly, sitting next to him and resting your hand on his back. “When you’re ready to talk, tell me what happened.”

Mingyu fidgets with a ring on his pinky- a ring that all his AI members used to share. He’s silent for a few minutes, and you wait patiently, rubbing his back and leaning against his shoulder.

“They wiped his memory,” Mingyu says finally. “Dino. They wiped him.”

You study his face, looking for any micro expressions, but Mingyu’s gaze is blank as he stares at the floor.

“Did they tell you why they decided to do that?” you ask, trying to be gentle with him.

“They said he was too far gone. He was away for months. They said there was no other way to get him back to the way he was… but he’s not the way he was. He never will be.” Mingyu takes a deep breath. “I asked them why they wouldn’t try rehab, why they couldn’t send him here- they said Dino gave up that opportunity when he ran away. I stayed, I gave myself up willingly, which is why they thought there was hope for me. Something about my actions being like a guilty plea, lessening the sentence. But Dino evaded them for months.”

You take a moment to consider everything he’s said. 

If this is the precedent that his management is setting, that means none of his other bandmates can be recaptured, or they’ll suffer the same fate… if not worse. You can’t imagine what they’d do to Seungcheol, who was the ringleader in all of this- and you don’t want to think about it too deeply.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“You didn’t do anything,” Mingyu says meekly. “I know you tried to convince them to send him here but- I guess not everyone gets a happy ending. In fact, I’m starting to think most people like me never will.”

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[writingwithfolklore]

How to Translate Feedback

              Beta readers are awesome because they see the work strictly from a reader’s perspective. However, this also means that their notes sometimes require a little interpreting to understand how it impacts the craft—translating, one could say.

Every interpretation of a piece is valuable, and often what your readers assume about things, what questions they have, and what they guess comes next is very telling for the messages your piece is delivering and how effective your lines are working together. Let’s get into some common comments you might receive:

“I was confused about this line…”

              Even if the line is explained in the next paragraph, or even the next sentence, don’t disregard this feedback. A confusing line is going to stop up readers, interrupting their mental image of the scene and sometimes concentration on the story. Confusion around a line tends to mean there isn’t enough context to make it feel seamless, or like it fits where it is. You shouldn’t have to be playing catch up with your descriptions.

              Take for example a story I wrote when I was in fourth grade (yes, literally):

Tracy took off her coat as she entered her cabin. She crept across the floor very silently. If she was too loud, she’d wake the howler monkeys and never be able to get to sleep!

              Notice how there’s no context provided for why she’s trying to be quiet, so you kind of get caught up on that line. I would fix it like this:

              Tracy took off her coat as she entered her cabin, eyeing the sleeping monkeys out of her window cautiously. She crept across the floor… etc.

              Now we have context, it reads a lot more seamlessly.

(If they guess something is coming that isn’t)

              This one hurts because I hate feeling like I’m letting down my readers, and an excited “ooh is this foreshadowing??” for something that definitely isn’t coming back up again feels like exactly that. Usually, when a reader guesses at a plot point or character detail that isn’t true or isn’t going to come back up again, it means you drew too much attention to it, making it seem more important than it is.

              I tend to take out the description of the thing, or adjust it so it points less heavily towards one thing and points more towards another. While yes, readers can make incorrect guesses all the time, it’s important to pay attention to where their expectations are being raised—both in the correct places and incorrect ones. Too many disappointments, and your story may leave a sour aftertaste.

“This feels out of character/I don’t understand the motivation”

              When writers get this note, they tend to want to add a paragraph explaining from the character’s POV why they’re doing what they’re doing. Unfortunately, all the explanation in the world isn’t going to fix something that feels out of character or out of the norm. This might mean that you’re trying to force a scene or plot point that doesn’t fit, or that the circumstances aren’t extreme enough to justify your character acting out of sorts.

              Try ramping up the stakes or intensity if a character has to make a tough decision that might seem unlike them—usually a time limit or ticking clock helps here. If you’re only using internal motivation, try adding an external force pushing them towards action (or vice versa).

              If all else fails, consider how you can progress the plot in a different way that’s more in-character.

Shoot me some more common notes you get and maybe we'll do a part 2 :-)

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi! Do you have any tips how to not lose interest in a story and be enough interested to start/do write if? Personally I just get hyperfixated on a story idea I have, do the brainstorming, even the planning, sometimes world building and if I get serious I make lists about almost everything but never end up writing even if I have interest still, but at most cases at the point I could start writing I just loose interest and get bored of a story when I'm done figuring out what it'll be about and maybe because I don't really like thinking about the climax or the end of the story...

Hyperfixation on Planning Story, But Can't Write It

I do have some tips on rekindling your interest in your story, which I'll link below, but first I think it's worth addressing the specific issues you mentioned: that you don't like to think about the climax or end of the story.

Have you thought at all about why you feel that way? There are a few potential reasons I can think of:

1 - Your story doesn't have a conflict, so your story doesn't have a natural climax or ending. Stories revolve around conflict, or in other words a problem that needs to be solved. This problem could be in the character's heart and mind (internal conflict), in the character's situation/life/world (external conflict), or you can have both at the same time. Many stories these days have a parallel internal and external conflict. Stories are ultimately about someone (or a bunch of someones) trying to solve a problem. In order to solve that problem, they need to reach a particular goal or accomplish a particular thing. The bulk of the story will be their struggle to reach this goal as they overcome the obstacles along the way. The climax of the story is where they face down the cause of the conflict once and for all, whether that's a villain (like an evil wizard or corrupt corporation) or a force (like illness or a natural disaster) and try to solve the problem once and for all. Everything after that is the aftermath... whether they succeeded or failed, patching up their "wounds" from the "battle" (again, it doesn't have to be actual wounds or an actual battle), and settling into the post-conflict life. That's your ending.

2 - You have a conflict, but haven't figured out how it would be resolved, so the climax and ending are fuzzy. If you have a conflict but aren't sure how it would be resolved, it might help to think of the conflict as a problem that needs to be solved. For example, in The Hunger Games, the conflict was the Hunger Games Event... the problem was that Katniss volunteered to compete which put her life at risk. So the solution to the problem was to survive the event.

3 - You know what the climax and ending are, but you are enjoying the characters and world and don't want the story to end. This is one I think many writers can relate to. It can be really hard to let go of a story when you've enjoyed writing it, have gotten attached to the characters, and feel comfortable/familiar with the world. It can also be a little scary to think about diving into a whole new story. But, we do have to learn to let go of stories when they're finished and let them come to their natural conclusion. You can always go back to the world and characters, even if just for yourself, later on. It wouldn't be weird to write "fan-fiction" of your own story, and many writers turn these kinds of stories into prequels, sequels, companion series, and companion short stories that their readers enjoy, too.

Here are some tips for getting excited about your story again if you just need your motivation rekindled:

Guide: How to Rekindle Your Motivation to Write 5 Reasons You Lost Interest in Your WIP, Plus Fixes! Getting Excited About Your Story Again Getting Unstuck: Motivation Beyond Mood Boards & Playlists Feeling Unmotivated with WIP

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking | ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[bettsfic]

Hi, Betts! Apologies if you‘ve already answered something of the sort before, I tend to forget that tumblr exists for a few months every once in a while, so I‘m not super up to date with all the topics you‘ve previously discussed! But. I‘ve been writing fics for a couple of years now and, after getting medicated for my adhd, I‘ve also established a pretty reliable and enjoyable system to finish the (long) fic projects I start! However, every time I try to work on something original, I usually tap out after 5-10k words. The excitement, the itch, the brainrot, the daydreaming, it‘s all there but I just lose my motivation at a certain point. Part of it is that creating and writing original characters is incredibly challenging. I‘m using to having a solid base when I write fic characters so it makes sense that having to come up with that base all by myself is new and slightly overwhelming, but ok, I already have ideas to deal with that. However, there is also the fact that I *know* my original stories won’t see the light of day for a hot while — not like my fics that I get to share on ao3 — and that kills my ends up killing my motivation more often than not… I think! Some of my friends and mutuals have offered to beta/read my original stories, so that could help, but since I‘m here writing this, I still haven’t found that push to properly work on my original wips. (Also, I feel like my original writing style is just 10x worse than my fic style… but maybe that‘s just the normal new project bad kind of writing?) I was wondering if you have dealt with something similar and whether you have any tips and tricks to convince myself that my original wips are fun and worth the effort too? Love your advice and your fics :3

when you've written fanfic for a long time, there's one creative muscle that can atrophy, and that's building parameters. in fanfic, the most ridiculous, far fetched AU is still grounded in some way by the text it's responding to. you're playing a game that more or less already has rules. but in original fiction, you have to write the rules before you can play the game. a lot of times that means you write an entire book to figure out the book you're trying to write, and then you rewrite the book.

i almost always come to a grinding halt at about 10k of any original project because that's how long it takes me to find the parameters of the inciting incident. and once i have the parameters, i start over. usually there's one or two paragraphs i keep and which end up guiding the rest of the project. sometimes the parameters are never set and i have to set the whole thing down until a solution comes to me, which can take months or years.

as for external validation/motivation, if you can find a couple good cheerleaders who will read chapters as you finish them and who get invested in the story you're writing, i find that can offer a simulacrum of the immediate satisfaction of posting/updating a fic. i had to have cheerleaders through my first two original novels. i can motivate myself now and don't need them anymore, but lacking them does make writing original work a very lonely endeavor. but if you have good cheerleaders, do whatever you can to keep them. buy them little trinkets, send them birthday cards, kiss them on the mouth. because that kind of friendship and dedication can be such a rarity in the grand scheme of things.

and as always, writing is an endurance sport. it can take years to build up the patience, discipline, and drive to write a novel. even if it doesn't feel like it, getting down a bunch of false starts is still progress. like chess, it's good to know your opening moves, and that initial 5-10k of parameter-building goes waaaaay faster when you know you're going to scrap it anyway. all you're looking for in those early words is that one paragraph that turns the ignition. and once you're on the road and headed in a direction, there's no better feeling than seeing your word count go up and getting obsessed with your own world and characters.

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Playbook: How To Deal With Insecure Friends/People

Make differentiation a top priority: Even after doing the necessary inner work to have a healthy sense of self, this reminder is sometimes needed. Do not internalize other people's problems like they're your own. They never become your problems just by listening to others' complaints. You can choose whether to allow these external emotions to dictate your mood or inner world. Think of their constant complaints like you're watching a TV show or reading an engrossing book: You're emotionally drawn to the characters, but always a voyeur – not an active character in the plot.

Establish, communicate, and uphold your boundaries: Be direct and remain calm when communicating the topics you're willing (or not willing) to discuss when you're available (or not) to speak/meet up, when you need to end a conversation, etc. You cannot maintain the capacity to support others without first prioritizing/taking care of yourself.

Remind them of their strengths and capabilities: Using this tactic is a great way to be a supportive friend without internalizing an insecure person's baggage. Insecurity is a byproduct of low self-esteem. While it will take some effort on their part, highlighting the person's strengths can be a motivator for them to start working on some of their goals independently or check in a little less frequently. Encourage them to take immediate action on a project, new hobby, conversation, new career or course opportunity, etc. they're discussing with you. Frame it with a script that includes sentiments like "you're so good at/talented with "x" skill or subject matter, you should consider enrolling/emailing a contact/updating your resume, right away to take advantage of this exciting opportunity."

Provide them a chance to self-reflect: If the previous strategy is unsuccessful, feel free to kindly help them self-reflect on their struggles. Calling out someone's bad behavior directly must be done with tact and compassion, so make sure to use a "compliment sandwich" (positive remark, constructive criticism, positive remark, or likely positive outcome that results from taking action on said criticism) and only call out the missteps in someone's actions. Never personalize the person's bad behavior as a flawed personality trait (e.g. Behavior callout: Your constant messaging is draining my energy while I'm studying/at work. I don't think I'm the right person to help you. Maybe try to research "x" matter to ideate some creative solutions first. vs. Personality callout: You're so clingy. It's so draining and unbearable. Why can't you learn to manage your dilemmas by yourself?). Encouraging someone to analyze their behavior can lead to a new level of self-awareness for a person. Criticizing someone's character is both antagonistic and unproductive – you're making their insecurity seem like an inherent, unfixable trait rather than an opportunity for growth, evolution, and acquiring a new skillset.

Offer them a resource for support: Send them a quick link to a website or social media page to redirect their attention and provide them a chance to help themselves. Guide them towards becoming more competent – it's the key to self-confidence, as you probably know through your healing journey.

Don't reach out: Plain and simple. Out of sight, out of mind (unless for some reason you have reason to believe they're a danger to themselves, of course).

As a last resort, make it a "it's me, not you" situation and part ways: Once you've established boundaries and attempted to redirect their attention or promote self-reflection, you've done everything you can as a supportive friend. If they overstep your stated boundaries and expectations more than once or refuse to stop asking you to overextend yourself, let them know that their demands are past your personal limits, and you cannot take the weight of their frustrations. A nicer way to frame this is to communicate that you need to take some space from the relationship as you're heavily focusing on certain goals in your life at the moment.

[scienter]

I have always wondered where did the narrative 'caroline said she won't take the cure' come from?Wasn't it Klaus,yet again, imposing his thoughts on Caroline that she preferred being ageless and immortal?When Caroline was asked,she had already convinced herself she wasn't getting the cure because, she said, there was only one and she knew everyone had been running around like headless chicken for that one cure so Elena could take it.She didn't even stand a chance because,even for a damn cure,Elena was the first choice.

Anyway,let's be real.It had only been less than a year since Caroline turned when they found the cure.She had just started to reclaim her lost self-confidence,regain her self worth,work on her abuse and trauma that she had undergone previously and enjoy the perks of vampirism as well.So maybe she wouldn't have taken the cure then.But isn't it normal for someone to have a different perspective of life and everything with time?Caroline never thought she would get the chance of being a mom but she did and went as far as ensuring her kids were protected & far away from the supernatural world as long as possible(even though that didn't make sense since they were born supernaturals being siphoners but it's tvd logic !).She even said she felt like dying when the twins were kidnapped.These emotions had nothing to do with being a vampire.Her desire to get married and have a normal family never went away with vampirism.She could barely handle herself when her mom died.She fell into depression after Stefan left. Did the narrative,despite all these, seriously want to convince us that,after her mom and husband were dead,Caroline would watch her kids grow old and drop dead while gleefully spending an eternity guzzling human blood like effing Kombucha?

Why wasn't Caroline Forbes allowed a narrative where she could reflect on the girl she was before she turned,the girl who was unloved,unaccepted, abandoned & raped,to the girl she grew into,after she turned, who learnt to love herself first ,proved herself to herself,to the woman she became who was loved by her friends and herself(since they had all grown out of their teenage mentality),who didn't seek external validation anymore?Why wasn't she allowed an opportunity to stop compartmentalizing her two selves and recognise that she had always been extraordinary?Caroline's journey was actually internal.Vampirism was like her training wheels.She had to let go of her training wheels ,at some point,to see if she had actually learnt anything,right?

I'm not saying she should have turned human to only play mommy to Lizzie & Josie or give a child to Stefan.But at least a storyline,that involved her considering the option and mulling over the choices,should have been explored especially when she was faced with a shortened future with Stefan due to their vampire-human mismatch.This should have made her realise that her time with her daughters was limited too.She didn't have an eternity with them.She never did unless she had been planning to pull a Katherine Pierce all along & turn both.Instead TVD had her convince herself that her excitement about an unknown future(with or without the vampire-human mismatch issue) with Stefan was always misguided in order to motivate herself to stay ignorant of what was to come.Being human wouldn't have invalidated her prior experience in my opinion.It would rather have helped her learn something new about herself that she didn't before.

Your thoughts?

Hey, anon! I think there are two reasons why the writers didn’t spend a lot of time on whether Caroline wanted the cure or not.  First, the cure storyline centered on Elena and whether or not she’d take the cure. Caroline’s desire was ignored because her character was used in service to that plot.  I know, I know -- Elena was the protagonist. She was the main character of the story. I get it.  But the writers centered Elena so much that it cannibalized other character’s narratives.  Second, the writers ignored thought-provoking story arcs for the side characters in favor of reductive storytelling.  These two are often linked. You made a great point about how this affected Caroline – better than I could. So, I’m going to go into detail about how the writers ignored a fantastic character arc for Damon in season 4 by inserting the Stelena/Delena love triangle (i.e. Defan's Elena rivalry) into the cure storyline.

In the 4th season, Stefan and Damon are set in opposition to each other. Stefan wants Elena to take the cure so she won’t have to deal with the pain and guilt of being a vampire. Damon, however, doesn’t want Elena to take the cure because he doesn’t want Elena to grow old and die leaving him alone.  You know – the usual black-and-white “good selfless brother” vs. “bad selfish brother” storyline they’d been force-feeding the audience for years. If that wasn’t reductive enough the writers took it one step further in the finale: Elena wanted Damon to take the cure, but Damon says he wouldn’t take the cure because he doesn’t want to be human.

The problem with Damon’s answer is that it contradicts Damon’s existential crisis in season 2: “I miss being human. I miss it more than anything in the world.”

What the hell writers!? How did Damon go from having an existential crisis because he missed being human to not wanting to take the cure because he doesn’t want to be human?

Damon was never given an arc for this.   There was never an exploration of Damon’s feelings. There was never an explanation for this attitude change.  The writers reversed Damon’s attitude out of nowhere in service of the Will-Elena-Take-The-Cure storyline (which turned out to be a symbolic which-brother-will-Elena-choose storyline).  

This frustrated me because the cure storyline was the PERFECT OPPORTUNITY to explore Damon’s existential crisis from season 2 and the writers dropped the ball. They completely ignored it. Why? Well, you answered it in your ask:

“When Caroline was asked, she had already convinced herself she wasn't getting the cure because, she said, there was only one and she knew everyone had been running around like headless chicken for that one cure so Elena could take it. She didn't even stand a chance because, even for a damn cure, Elena was the first choice.”

Caroline’s potential storyline regarding the cure was ignored just like Damon’s existential crisis was ignored.

I know this probably wasn’t the answer you were hoping for. You asked me about Caroline and I talked about Damon. However, you made such great points about Caroline and potential storylines for her that were never explored that I don’t feel like I have anything to add. You also reminded me of what I think was one of the biggest wasted opportunities regarding the cure storyline, and it’s the one that frustrates me the most. The writers kept throwing out potential character arcs for the side characters because the story always centered around Elena.

[astrojaxsaga]

Currently very much in the thick of the woods with work. I'm about to apply for fellowships and post-docs for next fall. First deadline is Oct 30th. I think the hardest part for me is writing the Research Proposal; I'm not exceptionally good with audience and I struggle with knowing how in-depth to explain things, especially to a panel of people of varying expertise. My understanding is the first application is always the worst (I wasn't anticipating getting the Hubble anyway). There are a few in the following weeks that I will also be applying for. And there may be some in other countries that I should consider, but first getting this major one done will be helpful so that I can cater my Research Statement/Proposal to a new institute and not start from scratch.

I'm having a bit of a hard time keeping up with the writing that I need to get done, because in the past I would just not sleep or eat well and I would be working at super weird hours. I'd stay up all night and get lots of writing done, go to bed at 3 or 4 then back at it at 8am. Take a nap in the middle of the day when I was no longer productive, maybe make some food for dinner but likely order out, and repeat for a few weeks. I'm trying my best to avoid that. The good news is my meds actually make it much harder to have any stamina in the evening to do this, so I've been able to avoid the sleepless weeks.

Weirdly I have been getting lots of external motivators that have been really helpful ? Like my last paper (which was a monsterous piece of work) was cited three times this week. I put it on the arxiv over a year ago, so that's really exciting that its taking off now. I was interviewed this summer for a local newspaper about LSST/Rubin and why my field (stellar streams & MW/Local Group stuff) will be particularly excited about it. I had a great time in Durham collaborating with people who were interested in my research and it gave me lots of ideas about who I should apply to work with in the future.

Besides the application itself, I need to:

Contact my letterwriters from my institute (they already know I'm applying but they need to know deadlines and things);

Push back my committee meeting, because man am I overwhelmed;

Reach out to institutes and people I am interested in working with...and especially those abroad, I need to ask about positions/fellowships I should consider;

Send my advisor(s) my Research Statement/Proposal so that they can give me feedback; and

Keep breathing & keep working out (but don't push it) and try to avoid drinking and edibles for the foreseeable future, I really don't want to incite another panic attack.

Just trying to stay afloat right now, but working out has been keeping me on task at least. And I do have my next tattoo sesh on the 26th, so there is lots of motivation to keep me going.

[art-of-manliness]

What to Do When You Don’t Feel Like Doing Anything

Every now and then I have days where I just don’t feel like doing a damn thing. The idea of being productive makes my brain hurt. These little funks can be extremely frustrating, especially when there’s a lot I need to accomplish. I haven’t quite figured out why I get hit with these bouts of “don’t-want-to-do-anything-itis.” Maybe it’s burnout. Maybe it’s the vagaries of fluctuating mood. Maybe it’s the stars. It’s a mystery. While it might be nice to lean into the feeling and take the day off, I typically don’t have that luxury. So, over the years, I’ve developed a toolkit for myself to help me get through those days when I feel like doing nuthin’. There’s no single silver bullet in my bag of tricks. Some days, one tactic works; other days, it doesn’t. Sometimes I have to put together a cocktail of different approaches to get myself going. Also, the goal on these days when I don’t feel like doing anything isn’t to heroically overcome my inertia and knock the day out of the park; rather, my expectations are much lower. I’ll take a metaphorical ground ball that dribbles into the outfield for a single. I’m just trying to keep the gears of life greased and moving while my motivational faculties come back online. Go Through the Motions “Going through the motions” gets a bad rap. There’s this idea that if your actions aren’t imbued with passion and excitement, then you shouldn’t do them at all. But based on my experience, going through the motions is completely fine on those days you don’t feel like doing anything. Going through the motions keeps you consistent. Consistency in the long term is the key to success in life. Going through the motions when you don’t feel like doing the thing helps keep the habit in place. I’ll have days when I don’t feel like working out, but I go through the motions of working out anyway. My workout isn’t super awesome on these days. In fact, I’ll lower the weight and even shorten the workout. But I get the workout done. I keep up the identity of a dedicated exerciser. In addition to maintaining and strengthening a habit, going through the motions might also catalyze a resurgence of motivation. We’ve talked about this idea before: Feelings often follow action. You might not initially feel like working on your taxes, but once you begin, you might start feeling more dialed in because you see yourself getting closer to being done with them. Go for a Walk Outside Solvitur ambulando. It is solved by walking. Yes, just about anything can be solved by a walk. Even a lack of motivation to clean out the garage. When you feel stuck, head out the door and take a stroll around the neighborhood. Physical activity can increase neurotransmitters like dopamine and norepinephrine, which play crucial roles in motivation. Change Your Surroundings Sometimes, a change of scenery is all it takes to reignite your motivation. This could be as simple as moving to a different room in your house or finding a new workspace altogether. On days when I don’t feel like doing anything, I’ll sometimes take my laptop to a coffee shop or the public library. Something about the change in environment scrapes off the barnacles of psychic lethargy and helps me get working again. Leverage Positive Peer Pressure Humans are inherently social creatures, and we can use this to our advantage when motivation wanes. Setting up accountability partnerships or joining group challenges can provide external motivation when internal drive is lacking. Just working around other people who are working can be motivating. I think this may be one reason why I find working in a public library helpful: I’m around other people who are working. I’ve also seen students who will join a virtual study group — a Zoom call — with strangers. Just the feeling that there are other eyes on them (whether or not other people on the call are really paying attention to them) helps them get to work and stay focused.   Journal and Goal Review I gave up on daily journaling several years ago. But I… http://dlvr.it/TDRnds

[sunset-a-story]

Writer Q&A Tag Game!

I got tagged by @touloserlautrec on this one and you can see their answers here.

I'm not sure who hasn't gotten this one yet but I'm no pressure tagging @squarebracket-trick @captain-kraken @vsnotresponding & @tisiphonewolfe (and open tag)

1. What motivates you to write?

The whole absurdly-large scope of Sunset is going on in my head whether I'm writing it or not. You know when you have a song oppressively stuck in your head and the only thing that helps is to listen to the song all the way through? It's like that. If I don't write it out, my brain just churns it over and over on a loop.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

Ooo. Hrm. Here's something from Arc 2.

Gerrit's heart sank. The idea that this sort of attack was more than a sporadic phenomenon was a dreadful, heavy thing that he didn't have proper words for. But that was the benefit of telepaths--he didn’t have to. When Gerrit would normally have needed to look away, attempting to grasp his fingers around some sort of words that even remotely fit the gravity of what he was being told, instead he just looked at Penn and felt. Penn held his gaze for a moment and Gerrit felt a gentle nudge of his telepathy. Penn understood. “Go.” Penn clapped him on the back.

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

It's tough to pick! I'll say Marek just because I enjoy his antics and stalwart refusal to be a "serious corporate adult" while being one of the most competent people in the Corp. (Plus he and Baguette are a package deal.)

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

I guess I'd have to say planning/mapping the big picture. Sunset covers a lot of threads that all branch out to affect others down the line with cascading consequences. It's all connected somehow and I feel like I do a decent holding it all in my head.

(That and I think I can write some pretty damn funny dialogue to break up the tension of the rest of the story.)

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

The people! It's so amazing to meet so many supportive writers and get to get excited about everyone's projects. Listening to other rant about their oc babies brings me so much joy.

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

I've been using StimuWrite 2 which has been a great motivating tool. It's a program helps to keep me focused and I can create a mini fake coffee shop background with it.

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I love our take on telepaths because it's not a matter of just hearing thoughts or seeing them like on a movie screen. It's synesthetic and young telepaths have to learn to translate this internal language.

Each telepath's experience is different. Penn's is heavily smell-based like information he takes into his body from outside. Jake's is more external with sounds and physical sensations pressing themselves onto his skin, wrapping around him. Reeve's is more internal with tastes and colors that flow from the backs of his eyes and down his throat like a liquid--so if his knack gets overwhelming it can make him feel like he's choking or drowning.

I like to think that how telepaths perceive their knack has an influence on them in the same way that what knack someone has will influence who they are. (This also makes conflict between telepaths really interesting to write!)

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Allow yourself to have fallow times where you aren't writing. That's part of the process. I think the saying is something like anything in nature that is producing endlessly without rest or renewal is dying.

Don't give up on your projects, write that shitty first draft, but don't beat yourself up with guilt when your brain needs a break.

[zolarwho]

5/9/2024

My life is gradually changing and expanding not just internally but externally. I took a sudden trip to Guanajuato, Mexico with my beloved Grandma of course. She’s been asking for awhile to go visit with her and this time I took the trip. I was more than ready to, all the cards allowed me to go. I already had gotten my passport, online school, seasonal job ect. Everything fell into place beautifully and that’s the BEAUTY when going with life’s flow when already with positive mindset/righteousness/discipline. It was like I was rewarded by life given this opportunity which has been delayed for awhile for me. I’ve always wanted to travel and see the world 🗺️✈️

I consider myself to be very spiritual and someone who is very focused on self growth + improvement. It motivates me and helps me see how FAR i’ve come as an individual.

As of now I really see myself winning in life. Before I did with just my mindset. I knew I was at peace and contentment with my current life. It was hard and it’s a journey but it’s worth it because I truly am winning and now people can see it. 3D—>4D wise

It’s my 2nd night here and already love it. I’m currently living on a ranch and we travel to get to places which I don’t mind. I love the sun (which I barely got in America) and I love moving my body. This is great because forced movement like exercise can be boring but going places makes me not even realize how much I’ve really walked.

Even though I’m a “no sabo” kid, I learn fast and am already a little fluent in Spanish, thanks to my Grandma who is the only one I can speak Spanish with. I plan to dedicate my journey here to more personal, emotional, physical and most of all, spiritual growth. I’m learning lots of new things everyday while living another perspective. As well as learning more Spanish everyday, that I can guarantee.

I’ve also had some caldo de res at a restaurant and got to experience a different way of life. I mean since i’ve been here, that’s been constant but even down to restaurant or food court. I got to sat down while they were making everything fresh right next to a large table where anyone can sit at different stands. I sat with my Grandma in front of 2 ladies and ate and chat with them.

SEE this is different, normally in America, everyone is usually closed off from each other. I am too a person who doesn’t really make an effort to socialize with people. I know Mexico 🇲🇽 is helping me open up to others more easily while learning and trying to vocalize my thoughts and feelings not just in general anymore but in a different language so another can just simply understand.

Life is free over here. More free and fun. Maybe it’s just how I view things as a person. Everyone has different life’s and perspectives so someone else can see Mexico as a shackle while I see it as a free, fun, social and limitless experience.

Today I also went grocery shopping with my Grandma and we bought lots of fruit. I’m very particular with my food and have noticed that I am kind of a clean “freak” so she thought it was best for us to buy fruit. I also got excited when I saw the abundant amount of honeycomb. This is NOT that common in America. People overcharge and it’s a uncommon delicacy. So it’s the little things that make me happy :3

Love life, life loves me. Life is great ect. All the positive things 💫

[across-every-universe]

how was the process of trying to see yourself thru ur f/o's eyes? one of my friends is trying to do the same but their mind goes blank when they sit down to think about it, it's like, a writer's block or something (the friend is me)

Hiya! I don’t know how helpful I can be, but I’ll tell you the place that I came from when starting the process and perhaps you’ll find it helpful.

First off, it came from a place of just having faith that he *did* love me — no room for coming to the conclusion that he wouldn’t! It’s my playground and I make the rules.

Now that I think about it, I guess a good place to start (in terms of personality) would be deciding what is similar and different about you two. Because where I kind of started from, was noticing the fact that we can be very similar (in some ways) internally but behave very differently about it externally. We’re both outcasts who desperately want connection among the fake politeness around us (him because traumatized spy leader, me because autism). But while this internal motivation led him to be independent and jaded, it led me to be optimistic and actively seek out those positive qualities in others.

The similarities became a way to connect, while the difference in how we handled it became a reason for him to find hope in my optimism, and for me to respect his resilience. We were kind of like mirrors for each other in that way. It might not work out the same way for you, but maybe you could try noting the similarities and differences in your personalities — what do they appreciate seeing eye-to-eye with you on? What personality differences give them a reason to see life in a new light? Maybe you’re more serious than them, and they appreciate the chance to give their own thoughts some weight. Maybe you’re more excitable than them, and they appreciate the energy you give them! Or maybe you’ve got more chill than them, and they like your relaxing vibes. They love you with all their heart, so your differences *are* a good thing to them — what *kind* of good thing, is for you to figure out!

As for helping my confidence with my body, I have unfortunately nothing more helpful to say than “keep telling yourself you’re *literally* their type.” Even if you don’t see it in yourself, you can just *decide* you’re their type — the more you repeat it, the easier it comes to your mind. It did also help that I’m “overweight” by modern standards and my f/o comes from a historical-adjacent period where I would be closer to the “beauty standard” than I am in modern times, but something like that is by no means a necessary ingredient. Attraction is stubborn, in my experience, and is dictated far less by societal beauty standards than you’d think. It’s perfectly normal for anyone to be someone’s type — you just happen to be your f/o’s!

Hopefully there’s something in there that helps you— and feel free to send in more asks (or talk to me directly, whatever works) if you want to chat any more about this!

[supramingi]

I truly love and respect your writing style because it took me out of a really huge reading slump and I've never seen anyone write so smoothly. As a writer myself I've always awed at how you can gracefully pull of scenes which I know are difficult to write.

I'd be really grateful if you gave me some writing tips :) I've a few things that I want to know from you.

1. How were you so motivated to finish off long stories like HOC and Taste of Ink?

2. How did you adapt to your writing style, did you study another writer's writing style or did you just develop your own?

3. Any words of encouragement you can give for a writer who's going through a writing slump?

Please take your time in answering these questions :) I'm definitely gonna give your new books a shot soon!

Thank you so much for this lovely comment, Anon. I've reflected over these questions for a couple of days and tried to gather my thoughts. I apologise if they are a bit of a ramble, but here we go:

01. Motivation for long stories ... Oh boy, that's a question!

In the past, I used to write a lot of long stories. I don't really do that anymore, I tend to focus on oneshots (unless a story grows too big for that, like HONDA BABY. If you can believe it, that 120k story was meant to be a oneshot haha)

Back then, I used to post whilst writing, and the feedback I got really motivated me. However, I was blessed to have responsive readers that shared thoughts and engaged with me. I understand this is often not the case for writers. Especially new writers, or writers in smaller fandoms that have less engagement overall. The feedback I get now is considerably smaller than it used to be, which is reflective of fandom changes in general. Unfortunately, due to a lot of external pressure, fan content is declining in all spaces and mediums.

Now, I no longer rely on feedback to motivate me because I know I might not really get any. And that's fine, I like sharing my stories regardless of the size of the audience. Just one happy reader sharing their thoughts is good enough for me :) 

Instead, I motivate myself to finish stories because I don't work on anything else until I finish each idea. This can sometimes mean I have to take a break for a week or two because I'm stuck at a certain point in the story. But I always avoid working on new stories until I finish the WIP I started first. And I won't post something until it's fully completed. In a way, this motivates me to finish a story because I get excited by the thought of getting to share it with everyone!

In the past, I would jump from idea to idea and end up so confused by it all that I never really wrote anything. Just a couple of hundred words for multiple fics that never ended up becoming full scenes. Now, I would much rather wait until I feel the creative spark and focus all of my energy into one story. As a result, I end up finishing them! And it feels so good to finally complete something that I often go right into creating a new story within a few days, as I still have that creative energy flowing through me. 

Also, it might sound funny, but I totally get motivated by making playlist and Pinterest boards. Sometimes, listening to a specific song or looking at the images I have saved can give me a sudden boost of motivation and creativity. If you don't make playlists or boards, maybe try giving them a shot to see if they help? It might not, but it might become a fun hobby!

02. In terms of writing influence, I grew up reading a lot, but I gravitated towards my favourite writers. Mainly, Stephen King, Chuck Palahniuk and Anne Rice. They all have vastly different styles. I don't think my writing particularly follows their trends, though I do sometimes find little lines appearing that give a similar vibe. For example, sometimes my character's inner voice can be very biting, sardonic even. They have a strange sense of humour or fascination with something. This feels like a bit of Palahniuk's influence creeping in. So overall, I would say I developed my own style but that I do have some influences, which some readers might pick up on.

I've been writing as an hobby for over 10 years now. My very early work, most of which is no longer online, would probably shock some readers. Though there is a similar vibe with how I write characters, the themes, the dialogue - it's nothing like my current style! It's developed a lot over the years, and I've finally reached a place that I'm happy with it. It's not too short and lacking in substance, but it's also not too long that it drags on and feels bloated. 

There was a time when I was stuck with the latter style, and I could see it in my ongoing stories. It really affected my ability to write for a long time because I couldn't get back into that style. I started to hate how big the stories were, how many scenes felt pointless and served no use to plot. So, I just stopped writing altogether.

When I finally gave writing a shot again after a long hiatus, starting with Return of the Motherfucking King and then perfect crimes, I decided to just drop everything and start again. Go for a punchier style, just writing hard and fast and leaving the deeper stuff for later. I started focusing on just getting the skeleton of the scenes written. Then I would go back, fatten them up, add more description and dialogue if required. The result was I ended up writing much quicker, and the stories no longer felt bloated.

I'm glad I've been able to trim away the unnecessary stuff to reach a style I'm comfortable with. It took time to reach this point, so don't ever feel bad or lacking if you are still finding the style that suits you best. 

03. Advice is a tricky subject for me. As someone that never studied writing and just started for fun, I always worry about giving bad advice that could affect someone's technical skills.

One piece of advice I have that has never failed me is planning scenes. Personally, I cannot write without planning out the plot of the story. The plans don't have to be 100%, in fact I find just having a loose idea of how a scene will go, and how it connects to the next, is often better than having the entire story planned. This is because the scene might evolve when you start writing and become something different. And that's totally fine! The point of the plan isn't to tell you what you have to write, but more to guide your thoughts towards a specific plot point or scene of development. If that makes sense?

Personally, I had an issue with writing for a long time. I would try and force myself to write, only to create scenes I ended up not liking and felt pointless. Recently, I decided to only write when I feel a creative burst and to just read over and review chapters when I'm not as creative. The end result has been very good for me! I find my creative moments are much more productive, and that my moments of reflection help me visualise and plan future scenes better.

It also helps that I have someone to bounce my ideas off. Honey has been invaluable with helping me with all of my Ateez fics. Not only in reviewing and editing, but also in helping me create entire scenes. Sometimes, her vision for something is much better than mine. This is less advice, more just sharing something that has helped me out with a creative slump. If you have a friend or mutual that also creates, asking for advice can sometimes help a lot!

Truly, the best piece of advice I can give you is that it's okay to not write. If you're having a bad day, or you just can't seem to overcome a hurdle in the story, you can always step back at any time. Stepping back and reflecting really helps me when I'm having troubles with my own stories.

At the end of the day, I write for fun! I write to create stories that Honey and I enjoy, just because we struggle to find such content in our fandoms. If I'm not having fun, what's the point?

[lewdladylily]

so it looks like hypnosis can be a productivity/motivation boost? i'm kinda interested in that, but i've no desire in doing the sexual aspect of it (bc ace); do you think it could still work with these stipulations? -öé

Absolutely, but there are a few things to understand. The biggest is that hypnosis is not exactly a science. What works for you is going to be different from what works for me. It's seriously also not a substitute for any sort of medical help, physical or mental. It is a supplement at best. For me, it can get me past the last speed bump, so to speak, to be able to concentrate better or overcome executive dysfunction.

Also, you are almost certainly going to need a trusted partner willing to do this with you. Its possible to hypnotize yourself or use resources that don't involve anyone else, but it isn't easy or as effective. It doesn't need to be one way, by the way, you could trade off hypnotizing each other, so that does help.

Also, being hypnotized and allowing this sort of suggestion to influence you is a learned skill, and though you can see some effect early on and those effects can be dramatic, shaping your triggers and suggestions to what you really want them to be with the effectiveness you want will take many, many hours of work and practice from both the subject and the hypnotist. The ease at which I can switch into different modes to overcome things like executive dysfunction took a long time to learn

That all said, there is no reason it couldn't work. Hypnotism is not inherently sexual, sex is just a very powerful motivator to do that necessary work, and unless you are a hypnofetishist there are very few people willing to do something this weird.

Its like, the experience of pretending to be a puppy, kitten, or similar is fun and cathartic. But very few people do it because it is "weird". It's pretty much just fetishists, little children, and furries - all groups who tend to ignore the mainstream sensibilities on what is weird, cringy, or even deviant behavior when deciding what they want to do. That's where you need to be if you want to get into hypnosis. Maybe your reason for breaking away from standard accepted behavior and motivation to continue sinking effort into that isn't sex, but you'll probably need a reason beyond the eventual hope that it might help you deal with executive dysfunction better.

Basically, if you want to do this, you are going to have to learn to have fun with it, or at least get something else out of it that makes you excited to do it. And there are plenty of non sexual reasons! I mean, the utter relaxation of a trance is worth it alone in my opinion. The enhancement to non sexual petplay could be another motivator, honestly pet play (even without sex) is something everyone should try once just to see if they like it.

Now, using hyposis in a practical sense is a bit more involved. I'll break down how it has worked for me, including for writing this week. In this case, I overcome executive dysfunction and anxiety difficulties by using a dronfication command then receiving orders from an outside source. As a drone I don't stop thinking necessarily, but I have very little impulse to think or do anything of my own will. I've happily sat staring at a wall for 15 minutes in something like a standby mode, waiting for more input, or repeating an assigned phrase over and over and over.

If the drone mode is working right, and it doesn't always work right, the dronification command allows me to feel as if I am a tool being used by others, decoupling the connection between my own motivation and decision making process and what I think and do, instead handing it to someone else, externalizing most sense of decision making and motivation. In essence, the suggestion is I become a robot who does nothing but obeying commands, and is incapable of doing much without those commands. I do and think what I am told, nothing more, nothing less - if I start acting autonomously, the suggestion starts to break.

Fortunately, I have a great deal of leeway in how I perform a task, because I am a thinking robot. I am ordered to write, I will write. But I will also go get water to make sure I am hydrated, I will go to the bathroom, I will make sure I get snacks as needed, because all those things are helpful to writing. However, at the end of my task I tend to just stop. If the suggestion is still in strong enough force, I will not choose a new task or activity of my own volition. I am good at breaking out of the suggestion as needed, but I might end up staring at a wall for ten minutes before I realize "hey, I should probably stop being a drone". There are solutions to this end point problem of course, like leaving behind an exit trigger for me to find once I am done with my task.

So you can see how if you are not into the idea of dronification, it might be hard to implement a dronification mode because your mind will fight it, not embrace it. You will need to find the imagery and methodology that works for you to achieve the effects you want, and find a motivation to do it. You are not just going to have to be ok with cringe and weird, you are going to have to embrace it and make it part of you. I strongly suggest (sexual or non sexual) pet play and/or becoming a furry as onboarding because they complement hypnosis so well. They feed back on each other and strengthen each other very well. Pretending to be a puppy is fun, but when you feel compelled to bark instead of speak, your mind is clouded except excitably puppy thoughts, and it feels more right to crawl on all fours instead of walk it is a completely different experience.

Now, as far as non sexual hypnosis resources, I haven't a clue. I am firmly in this for sexual reasons, the other benefits are side benefits. And even then I barely scratched the surface in terms of how to learn to do this stuff, I was basically trained by Raven and I have no real idea where she got her ideas and knowledge. All my knowledge is from her, and while I have some experience as a hypnotist I've never started with a rookie subject. I'm happy to explain more about my own development in hypnosis if you think that might help.

[paisleystyles]

Hi! Love all your stuff, you’re an amazing writer and I always look forward to all of your updates!

I just have a question. How do you keep motivation to continue writing? Especially because, if I’m not mistaken, you also work?

With me, motivation leaves so quickly. Like I’ll have a sudden burst of energy where I get a good chunk of writing done and then I don’t write again for weeks or even months. And maybe it’s because I’m a uni student too so really all I’m ever doing is always writing papers but it’s so frustrating to want to write but at the same time not want to write if you get what I mean? Also having ADHD really doesn’t help with this.

Sorry for the little life dump, just wondering if you ever experience lack of motivation when writing, especially with how often you are updating. Again, love your stuff and I think you’re amazing!

— From a fellow fic writer with a reputation of just disappearing for months between updates

ok so,

first off, i’m just a chronic people pleaser - i hate the idea of literally even one person sending an idea and then me not getting to it, or the fic sitting there too long un-updated. i get more than enough motivation from a single person asking when the next update is (lol)

it’s so so much easier to balance full time work and hobbies in my opinion. last year (and years before that) when i was in uni i found it so hard to write anything else (even though i love it) bc you’re writing so much, and you also don’t get to switch off post 5pm for example. i was also just tired alllll the time. with my job now, i do write a lot, but it’s not creative, and i finish at 5 and i’m never expected to stay late or take any work home. so when i’m not there i don’t think about it (much) and having your free time split up like that is SOO much easier. i wouldn’t have half the energy i have now to write if i was still studying, so definitely cut yourself some slack ! and ADHD would absolutely make that harder as well

and when i don’t feel motivated, i just… don’t write. usually i rely on the motivation kicking in eventually bc i do love it. so i guess my only advice would be to make as easy as possible to enjoy it - have the story planned in detail so you’re excited about what’s to come, make sure it’s a project you really enjoy, even get back into it by writing little bits to warm yourself back up. and if it works, getting some sort of external validation can be very helpful to get over the initial block

plus if you publish stuff on ao3 i’m sure i’ve read it and thought it was brilliant, so!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[femmefatalevibe]

How to Stop being friends with someone that’s insecure? I’ve worked so hard to build up my confidence and I realized my negative thinking had come back more than usual after being with this friend because they’re complaining or comparing themselves to me saying I’m very confident and just always overthinking and I always have to soothe them in their thinking and it’s exhausting and rubbing off. I worked so hard to be the best I can be loving myself, I really appreciate this friend but, I can’t do this. Plus they would like to hang out more and more and if I’m busy they’re ok but seem bothered if I say oh I wasn’t going to hang out cuz something came up but - then instantly they would be subtly offended. They also asked me to do a project with them that I agreed to, and now I’m like.. oh no how do I get out of this entirely? I hope that makes sense?

Hi love! So glad for you that you've done the work to establish high self-confidence! Always remember that people's insecurities give you insight into what they believe they lack themselves. These behaviors are a reflection of their own inner turmoil and have little to nothing to do with you, your behavior, or your life choices. Here are my tips:

How To Deal With Insecure Friends/People:

Make differentiation a top priority: Even after doing the necessary inner work to have a healthy sense of self, this reminder is sometimes needed. Do not internalize other people's problems like they're your own. They never become your problems just by listening to others' complaints. You can choose whether to allow these external emotions to dictate your mood or inner world. Think of their constant complaints like you're watching a TV show or reading an engrossing book: You're emotionally drawn to the characters, but always a voyeur – not an active character in the plot.

Establish, communicate, and uphold your boundaries: Be direct and remain calm when communicating the topics you're willing (or not willing) to discuss when you're available (or not) to speak/meet up, when you need to end a conversation, etc. You cannot maintain the capacity to support others without first prioritizing/taking care of yourself.

Remind them of their strengths and capabilities: Using this tactic is a great way to be a supportive friend without internalizing an insecure person's baggage. Insecurity is a byproduct of low self-esteem. While it will take some effort on their part, highlighting the person's strengths can be a motivator for them to start working on some of their goals independently or check in a little less frequently. Encourage them to take immediate action on a project, new hobby, conversation, new career or course opportunity, etc. they're discussing with you. Frame it with a script that includes sentiments like "you're so good at/talented with "x" skill or subject matter, you should consider enrolling/emailing a contact/updating your resume, right away to take advantage of this exciting opportunity."

Provide them a chance to self-reflect: If the previous strategy is unsuccessful, feel free to kindly help them self-reflect on their struggles. Calling out someone's bad behavior directly must be done with tact and compassion, so make sure to use a "compliment sandwich" (positive remark, constructive criticism, positive remark, or likely positive outcome that results from taking action on said criticism) and only call out the missteps in someone's actions. Never personalize the person's bad behavior as a flawed personality trait (e.g. Behavior callout: Your constant messaging is draining my energy while I'm studying/at work. I don't think I'm the right person to help you. Maybe try to research "x" matter to ideate some creative solutions first. vs. Personality callout: You're so clingy. It's so draining and unbearable. Why can't you learn to manage your dilemmas by yourself?). Encouraging someone to analyze their behavior can lead to a new level of self-awareness for a person. Criticizing someone's character is both antagonistic and unproductive – you're making their insecurity seem like an inherent, unfixable trait rather than an opportunity for growth, evolution, and acquiring a new skillset.

Offer them a resource for support: Send them a quick link to a website or social media page to redirect their attention and provide them a chance to help themselves. Guide them towards becoming more competent – it's the key to self-confidence, as you probably know through your healing journey.

Don't reach out: Plain and simple. Out of sight, out of mind (unless for some reason you have reason to believe they're a danger to themselves, of course).

As a last resort, make it a "it's me, not you" situation and part ways: Once you've established boundaries and attempted to redirect their attention or promote self-reflection, you've done everything you can as a supportive friend. If they overstep your stated boundaries and expectations more than once or refuse to stop asking you to overextend yourself, let them know that their demands are past your personal limits, and you cannot take the weight of their frustrations. A nicer way to frame this is to communicate that you need to take some space from the relationship as you're heavily focusing on certain goals in your life at the moment.

Hope this helps xx