#maybe she sees the tiny bit of good in him because that's what carla does and it's rubbing off on her

[buffonias]

[miekasa]

your dad!levi headcanons made my day. would you happen to have any thoughts about dad!eren?🥺

Unfortunately... I do 🤒🤒 he’d be such a determined but fun dad, like I don’t think he'd be completely lax, but he's not an authoritarian either, but he definitely butts heads with his kids when they get a little older and more rambunctious, and you gotta remind him to be patient with them because... because they're exactly how he was when he was 8 😭😭

He was stupid excited when he found out you were gonna have kids. Like, way more excited than you thought he’d be; you’ve maybe mentioned kids in passing or casually, and he was never negative about the prospect of them, but he had never shown this level of excitement before.

He gets even more excited when you find out you’re having twins. And then reality hits him that you’re having twins. That means two of them. At the same time. Yeah, he might have been excited about one, but two... the whole dad thing really kicks in right there. 

He has this period of time where he’s definitely still supporting you and being positive throughout your pregnancy, but then he’ll lay awake at night scared shitless of the fact that he’s gotta raise two kids. He starts freaking out so bad, Mikasa has to slap some sense into him. 

He’s losing it one night at her place, completely having a downward spiral of doubt and anxiety, going off about what ifs and how maybe you’d be better with someone else being a dad to them and Mika literally slaps him to shut him up. “You are going to be a dad to those kids, and you’re gonna be a good one, too, Eren. Nobody’s saying you won’t fuck up, but you’ll have help along the way.” 

He feels better after that (his cheek hurts like hell for two days tho), and the reassurance from Mikasa and you really does help, and he’s back on track to bouncing off the walls about having kids. 

Obsessed with the concept of baby clothes (“Babe, are they really gonna be this tiny??”), but he doesn’t understand the sizing of them. Is there really that big of a difference between four month olds and ten month olds?? He hasn’t grown that much in six months, why would they?? 

Don’t even get him started on baby shoes, he thinks those are completely ridiculous: “Their toes are gonna be the size of my pupils, why would we put shoes on them?? That’s dumb, we’ll just get those fuzzy socks to keep em warm when they’re cold, I don’t wanna squash their growing toes.” 

He cries when he holds them for the first time, because, they are, predictably, tiny. Tinier that he ever could have thought imaginable; he can hold is son and his daughter with one hand each and it’s an incredibly tender and heartwarming and humbling thing to him. 

He literally cried more than you throughout the whole delivery, too. He was a complete emotional wreck; happy and jittery one moment, anxious and nervous the next, crying no matter what, and yeah, he might have passed out once or twice, but don’t mention it. 

Gives the twins a “house tour” when you take them home from the hospital, narrating it every bit of the way. He holds them both to his chest, slowly parading around your house like, “And this is the kitchen, and this is the fridge where we keep your baby mush. It tastes bad, I tried it, but hopefully you’ll like it.” 

Your daughter looks like you, but also like Carla; and your son has damn near all of Eren’s features, and they both got his green eyes (lucky them). Eren is obsessed, and loves playing peek-a-boo with them. 

When his paternity leave is up, he figured he’d go back to work first and leave you at home with the kids to give you more time to rest and let your body have more time to adjust after giving birth. Half-way through his first day back, he calls out early under the pretenses of being sick because he misses you guys that much. 

He calls out sick for the remainder of the week too, and finally by Friday he sits down with you and is like, “I know we said I would go back to work first but I don’t think I can do it, babe. I wanna stay and hang out with them all day before they’re too big and have to go to school.”

And that, is essentially, how Eren comes to the conclusion that he wants to be a stay at home dad. It doesn’t surprise you, or anyone really, it was only a surprise to himself; but it was a surprise to him that nobody else was surprised. 

“What do you guys mean you ‘saw this coming?’” he questions you, Mikasa, and Armin sporadically, “I could have gone back to work if I wanted to!!” To which, you look around at his friends, before Armin finally speaks up, a slight roll to his eyes, “Eren, you can hardly leave them with me or Mikasa for two hours. How did you expect to make it through the work day.”

When they get a bit older, he’s the champ of playing games with them. Acts out the most dramatic “deaths” when he gets shot by a Nerf gun, becomes the most convincing doctor when playing fake hospital, and has learned a pretty damn impressive Mickey Mouse impression to entertain them. 

It’s your daughter that turns out to get most of Eren’s... determined personality. She might only be three years old, but she can argue with him as if she graduated from law school, and swears he never wins with her. How could he; it’s like arguing with himself, please they both stomp away and have to cool down after. 

They make up pretty quick tho, because Eren hates it when they’re mad in general, much less mad at him or you; and he sulks to you, borderline whining about how he doesn’t want her to hate him. You reassure him that she does not hate him, she’s just... feisty like he is. 

It’s her twin brother that consoles and calms her down, because he’s the more tame of the two. By the time Eren’s knocking on the door to their room to talk it out and apologize, she’s already knocked out, leaning up against her brother as they both take a nap. (It’s a sight that could bring him to tears, and he slowly closes the door and goes to cuddle up to you, while he waits for them to finish napping). 

He absolutely loves to lift them up, and even has they get bigger, he insists they’ll never be too big for him to hold them. Both he and the twins get a kick out of having them hang off his arms while he spins around in a circle like a little human sprinkler. 

Family picnics and/or beach days happen often, and more often than not, it ends up with Eren and the kids coercing (see: pulling) you to the water or to play with them.

By the end of the day, Eren’s laying on the blanket lazily eating a sandwich hich you’d packed earlier, with his son sat criss-cross on his stomach. He teases him by airplaining the sandwich near his mouth, only to take a bite of it himself after, because he adores the betrayed exclaimation of “Daddy! No fair!” Eren’s always sure to give him a bite for real after, and a little kiss on the head to make up for it. 

Your daughter sits in your lap, half-asleep, even tho moments before she was oh-so determined to play volleyball against her dad again (“And I’m gonna win, mommy, watch! Daddy’s tall, but I can win!”)

He lets them draw/color/paint on his back. He’ll just lay down on a blanket in the living room and let them go to town. Face painting, too, though that’s for when they’re a bit older; he learns the hard way that a two year old can have pretty rough hands. 

The complete and utter disappointment and betrayal in his eyes when he hears your son proclaim that he thinks Jean is “cool.” Eren has to take a lap, he can’t believe his own kin would say some shit like that. 

Your daughter loves Mikasa, thinks she’s the absolute best person in the world, and always asks if she can be the one to babysit. They both like Armin, too, but Armin’s gotta stay away from your son for a bit because for whatever reason, his blonde hair is very amusing to him, and the kid’s got a pretty strong grip. (“Stop bullying your Uncle Armin, it’s not his fault he’s blonde.”)

You often catch him doing push ups with either one or both of them on his back, and the kids fucking love it. They’re cheering him on, counting completely out of order about the amount of push-ups he’s done, and clapping every time he comes up again. It becomes his favorite workout. 

He swears they’re his best friends and his favorite people in the entire world. He does everything with them: getting the oil changed in his car, going to the store, picking up the mail. He just loves being around them and swears he’s gonna be the best dad for them. 

[buddiebeginz]

I’m disappointed that we didn’t get more of some things and less of others in the finale but I try to remember that I look at the show through a very different lens than the one the general audience does. If Buddie is going to happen (and I still believe that’s the case) then the show is going to have to slow build to it to get the general audience on board.

There is going to be a part of the audience who will have only thought of Buck and Eddie as these super straight guys who have only had relationships with women. It wouldn’t be realistic to just over night have them confessing their love to one another.

I also think that it makes sense to have them slowly realizing their feelings while one or both of them are still with someone else. It gives the show a chance to create drama.

Also the show made it a point to have Carla talk to Eddie about following his heart and to me it was clear that he’s only with Ana for Christopher. Yet even though he’s with Ana for Christopher it’s Buck that he put in his will, Buck that told Christopher when he was in the hospital, and Buck that took care of Chris. Eddie trusts Buck in a way he doesn’t anyone else and in a way he definitely doesn’t Ana.

Generally a finale sets some stuff up for the season to come. Like I think in season 5 we’ll see more of what’s going on with Maddie’s mental health, Albert being a firefighter, etc. When I look at what the show set up for Buddie in these two final episodes of season 4 it felt like the show was really putting a spotlight on just how close they’ve gotten. To the point that Eddie would put Buck in his will for his son.

And even though Ana was in the episode the show barely did anything with her even though it was such a serious episode for Eddie. Which is strange when you think about it considering she’s Eddie’s gf. If the show was setting up Ana to continue on to be this big important role in Eddie’s life shouldn’t they’ve have shown her being worried and bonding more with Christopher and the fire crew supporting her but nope.

I also found it interesting that in the scene when Eddie came into the party and kissed Ana on the cheek the scene was shot so we see Buck directly in the background. It definitely felt like it was shot that way on purpose.

As for the Taylor stuff I originally thought that the show wasn’t going to push anything with the two of them and they would just be friends but since the show changed things it leads me to believe (like some have speculated) that Eddie will be the one to realize his feelings first. Likely he already has even if he hasn’t verbalized them yet. The way the show wrote him reaching out for Buck when he was shot and putting Buck in his will was all very telling. Not to mention the fact that he didn’t tell Buck about the will. It makes me wonder why he felt the need to keep that a secret like what else is he keeping from Buck?

So I think season 5 is setting us up for Eddie breaking up with Ana it may even happen off screen before season 5 starts if the actress chooses not to come back. Then we’ll get some scenes maybe where Taylor is always hanging around Buck and Eddie and Eddie gets jealous. Maybe there’s a scene where Buck confronts Eddie about it. Maybe there’s a confession in the later half of the season. But I think it’s likely we’ll get Eddie pinning for Buck for a little bit which would be angsty but also great. The finale kind of set that up too in a way because it’s telling us how guilty Buck felt over not helping Eddie and we already know how much guilt Buck cares around. How much Buck feels like he’s not worthy of love and not good enough. That hospital scene was tiny glimpse I think of what we’ll see in season 5. More of Eddie reminding Buck of how important he is.

I still feel like canon buddie is coming. I know some people are probably disappointed after watching that episode but I think we just need to be patient. There’s a lot that the show included that they didn’t have to and that was definitely deliberate. If they wanted to just have Buck and Eddie be good friends they could do that there were a lot of other ways they could have written things. It’s not just subtext or wishful thinking on our parts either, at least not with all of it. These scenes were written in a way that is directing the audience to see more than a platonic relationship developing here. I mean the show totally ignored Eddie’s gf we didn’t even see her reaction to Eddie getting shot instead we saw multiple times how badly Buck was affected by it.

Back to the Taylor stuff I honestly think that Buck is gravitating towards her because she’s familiar and safe. He’s been on his own for a long time and it’s clear from conversations he’s had that he’s lonely. I think he likes Taylor but more than that he wants someone who will love him and make him feel like he’s enough. But I think in season 5 Buck will find out that having someone is very different to having the one.

Buck is Eddie’s person

Eddie is Buck’s person

That much was made clear from tonight’s episode.

Don’t loose hope if parts of the episode upset you and whatever you do please don’t yell at the show runners/writers or the actors. Let’s just enjoy all the great stuff we’ve gotten this far and see where the show goes from here. 💗

[psychoxis]

(maybe TW, idk) Carla and Shin's lovers gave birth. They have a daughter, but she never stop crying until they hold her in their arms and she while crying reach her tiny arms towards to Carla and Shin for hold her up.

So cutee! >.<

Carla Tsukinami

His eyes widen at his newborn daughter, the founder race now has a chance to be brought back one day

Despite the beautiful moment, once the child starts crying he remembers his past

He cannot stand children crying because it reminds him of his time in Pandemonium when all the kids lost loved ones

He is very carefully taking her into his arms and to his surprise her crying just ceased and turned into coos

The smile on his face was genuine and his expression soften when he saw her having the same eyes as him

When she reaches up to him he can’t help but give in and raise her up making her happy and smile a bit

She was definitely going to be a Daddy’s girl and also the future Queen of founders but right now in this moment all he saw was his daughter that he was proud of

Nothing could prepare him for the feeling of being a father was like but he promised himself he would protect them no matter what and places a kiss on their temple

“To think I would feel such joy from you, I will always love and protect you my precious daughter.”

Shin Tsukinami

He was ecstatic when she was born and had no problem showing it

He wanted to scoop her up and have a good time with her until you reminded him that she was just born as he calms down remembering that

Her cries hurt his ears as he covers them up until he sees her holding her hands out to him

When he holds her she simply nuzzles into his chest as the tears slowly go away

He feels like a natural already and says that it will be easier from here on out (good luck with that)

She does not have his eyes he is sure something about them will be similar in the future

He tells all the things he wants to show her and do with her, especially running together in their wolf forms when they’re older

For once in his life Shin feels at peace with everything, he never knew that being a father would make him feel complete and hold her tightly

“You’re a founder you know so you shouldn’t cry. Feel proud and smile, if not then I’ll do everything to make sure you smile and that’s a promise.”

[buddiefamily]

This is a result of people insisting Eddie didn’t have a reaction. He did! He’s just not as expressive as Buck so it wasn’t visible from space.

I Got You, Always [read on ao3]

rating: explicit, no warnings apply, friends to lovers, protective eddie

Eddie had just taken most of his gear off when he heard Chimney ask: “Where’s Buck?”

As if they all didn’t know perfectly well where Buck was. He felt his body shake. With fear or anger, he wasn’t sure. He had plenty reason for both. He was fuming with fury at Buck’s parents for treating him like he didn’t matter, for making him feel like he was nothing better than defective parts, who does that to their child? He couldn’t help but be angry at Hen and Chimney too, for letting Buck separate from the rest of them, god knew Buck was in no state to even be working at all, let alone this, him alone. And he was scared, alright. He was terrified. Not that he’d ever show or admit to it, but he was. He was terrified for Buck, who more than anything needed to know he’s loved and appreciated. Not this, not being all by himself! How could they allow this?

In an attempt to hide his distress, his fear, he threw his hands up at Chimney and Hen in a gesture that said and you let him?

Then he heard Buck’s voice, reporting to the IC and he let out a sigh of relief, once again being able to breathe properly. Buck was okay.

But then he said he was surrounded, lost, and Eddie felt like his lungs would give out at any second. He looked at Bobby, pleading, he didn’t care anymore. They needed to go back in, they needed to get to Buck.

There was an explosion.

Eddie’s heart stopped.

Bobby gave a short nod, then they were all gearing up again, running towards the entrance. Eddie couldn’t will his legs to move fast enough. He knew it wasn’t humanly possible to run much faster with all the weight of his gear, but he had to try. And try he did, leaving the rest of his team a good few yards behind him, rushing to Buck as fast as he could.

When he saw him, finally, his first instinct was to make sure Buck was okay, that he wasn’t hurt, he wanted to hold Buck and to never let go. But there was a job to be done. So he only allowed himself half a second to collect his heart from where it was shattered all around him, then he got to work. His team was there, right behind him. He couldn’t be more thankful.

They were out of the building, Buck was sitting in the back of an ambulance, Bobby and Hen by his side. Eddie was aching to talk to Buck, more than anything he wanted to be the one by his side. But he wasn’t selfish. He knew what Buck needed right then, and it wasn’t him. What Buck needed was to hear that he had people who cared about him, people who would always be there for him, who he could rely on. So he let Bobby and Hen talk to Buck, then Athena – Eddie was so glad she was there, he knew how much her and Bobby meant to Buck – and all Eddie did was wait. He stood and watched, never once taking his eyes off Buck. He watched his expression shift from grief and guilt to something more content and calm and finally, when he talked to Athena, Eddie saw Buck smile.

Eddie was still worried. Maybe Buck was out of physical danger now, but that sure as hell didn’t mean he was okay. Still, he didn’t go over and talk to Buck, he didn’t trust himself to stay composed. He’d talk to him in the morning. Eddie knew that was selfish of him, but at least it was better than the alternative. Buck needed him to be strong, he’d be of no use if he talked to Buck now, he’d break down and cry. Neither of them needed that.

Eddie went home.

As much as he wished to hug his son, Chris was asleep already, so Eddie settled for a forehead kiss and a whispered I love you. He went to his own room, closing the door carefully behind him. Only then, in the privacy of his own bedroom, did he allow himself to let go. He wasn’t aware of making a conscious decision to move his body, but the next thing he knew he was curled on the floor, his breath coming out in short puffs. His eyes were burning with tears, he felt them streaming down his cheeks. His body shook. He heard a sob before he even realized it left his own mouth.

Later, when he could catch his breath again, he would wonder why he was so wrecked, so worried. He’d tell himself Buck was in no imminent danger, in no life-threatening situation. He’d stare at the wall, trying to figure out why his heart ached so much to see Buck doubt himself like he did earlier that day, then throw himself at the first opportunity to get hurt. His panic would rise once again for a moment, fearing that maybe that was Buck’s intention, to get hurt. He would remember his street fighting, how Buck knew immediately, how he paid attention. And then it would down on him, attention. That was what Buck wanted, needed, what he never got from his parents. So he learned to ask for it, it the craziest loudest ways possible, because that’s all that ever worked. Stealing the fire truck, the lawsuit, it all suddenly made sense. And Eddie’s heart would break again. For Buck who felt, no matter how loved he was, that people didn’t notice him, didn’t care. He would hate himself for not realizing sooner, for not being able to fix it. Eddie would sit on his bedroom floor for hours, asking himself why all this hurt so much, why Buck’s pain hurt him.

And the answer was right there, right in front of him, if he only listened to his heart.

The next morning, as he got ready to work, he stood in front of the mirror and swore to his reflection that he would stay composed. For Buck’s sake. And he would have done it, he really had faith in himself. But then Buck’s parents showed up at the firehouse, and Eddie lost every tiny fiber of his cool.

Screw composed; Eddie had a lot to say.

What made him even angrier was that everyone else seemed so unbothered by their presence, even Chimney who must have known better than anyone what kind of people they were. Yet he just sat with them, narrating Buck’s heroic rescues, one after another. Eddie couldn’t listen to it anymore.

“Your son is a hero, in every sense of the word,” he said, his voice firm. The silence that suddenly surrounded them was deafening. He could fell all eyes on him. He didn’t care. He continued: “He’s a hero, but he had never once in his life felt like one.”

“Eddie-” Hen tried to warn him, to stop him, knowing full well where the conversation would go. Eddie didn’t even acknowledge her.

“Your son is the most selfless, caring, compassionate person I know. I doubt he learned any of that from you.”

There was a gasp, Mrs. Buckley nearly jumped out of her chair, no doubt ready to defend herself, to find some half-hearted excuse.

“He loves so freely, he gives everything he has to others, yet he never feels seen, appreciated,” Eddies voice was still firm, even as he struggled to catch his breath, “loved.”

He looked around. Most people have left the floor, only Hen and Chim were still hanging around. For whose sake, he wasn’t quite sure. He looked back to Mr. and Mrs. Buckley, half expecting an argument, something like but we love him.

It never came. Instead-

“Tell us about him.”

He must have heard wrong.

“You seem to care about Evan a great deal, why don’t you tell us what he’s like?” Mr. Buckley was looking at him expectantly. He felt anger rise in his chest. These people didn’t deserve to be a part of Buck’s life. But he caught Hen’s gaze, stern, and he sighed. Fine. But he would do it his way.

“Buck,” he emphasized, “his name is Buck.”

When Buck arrived with Bobby, announcing a clean bill of health, Eddie once again wished he could hold Buck and never let go. But his captain was there, the rest of his team at his heel, just like always. It had to wait.

So instead, he joked.

“Show-off.”

And Buck’s smile was worth every bit of the pain he felt.

“I had to do it,” Buck told him, as if Eddie didn’t already know that. He couldn’t help but smile too.

“I knew you did,” he replied, because every little reassurance he could give to Buck, he would.

They just stood there for a moment, easy silence between them, then Eddie’s expression changed. Buck could tell right away. How he read Eddie so easily sometimes, it was almost scary.

“You got some visitors,” he told Buck and watched his face fall as he realized the implication.

Once again, all Eddie could do was wait. He watched Buck disappear up the stairs, hoping he’d get his moment to spend with Buck after. But then he announced he was going to see Maddie and all Eddie could say to him before he left was: “I’m here for you if you need me.”

Then he was all alone in his house again, Chris fast asleep by the time he got home from his shift. He wished Carla goodnight, waved her off when she offered to stay with him, insisted he was fine.

This time he didn’t make it to the bedroom before he felt his chest tighten and the tears warm on his cheeks. He was alone anyway, it didn’t matter. Except maybe he was less alone than he thought.

There was a knock on the door.

Before he could even stand up from his spot on the couch, he heard the key turn in the lock and the door opened, revealing Buck. Eddie rushed to him, wiping his tears as best as he could without Buck noticing.

“You said you’d be here when I needed you,” Buck said, his eyes fixed on his shoes. Eddie opened his mouth to reassure him that he would, always, but then Buck continued, and Eddie could only stare.

“I’m sorry, Eddie, I should have realized what that meant. I should have known that was you asking to see me.”

At that Eddie couldn’t hold his tears any longer.

“No, Buck, that’s not what I meant. I did want to see you, because I never got to talk to you yesterday, but I would never ask that of you, not when you have your own problems to worry about.” Eddie stepped closer, taking hold of Buck’s hands, he needed him to understand this wasn’t about him.

“I know, Eds, that’s exactly why I should have known.” Buck looked so devastated. He went to hell and back with his family and the factory fire, yet here he was, worrying about Eddie.

So Eddie tried to explain to him, how it didn’t matter what he felt, how Buck was his priority now. And Buck just laughed. A soft honest laugh. Eddie felt his chest tighten, this time the feeling was different. Warm.

“It’s not a competition, you know,” he said, then walked to the couch, still holding onto Eddie’s hands, dragging him along, “we can be here for each other.”

Eddie pulled him in for a hug. Buck wrapped his hands around Eddie’s waist, holding on for dear life. Buck really did need him, Eddie realized. He held on just as tight, one hand around Buck’s shoulders, the other in his hair, stroking lightly.

“I got you,” he whispered. Now that he finally had Buck in his arms, he wasn’t gonna let go. Thankfully, it seemed Buck agreed with that sentiment, not letting go of Eddie’s waist even as they sat down on the couch.

After a moment of silence, Buck said: “Hen told me you yelled at my parents.” He didn’t sound angry, so Eddie didn’t apologize. He didn’t know what else to say, luckily he didn’t have to because Buck continued, his tone lighter now: “Thank you. Although I do wonder what you told them. My mother said you were a keeper, any idea what she meant by that?”

Eddie went red in the face.

“I showed them pictures of you and Chris, she- she must have assumed,” Eddie stammered, pulling away from Buck, “I’m so sorry, Buck, I swear I didn’t-”

Buck’s grip on Eddie’s hips tightened, not letting him go too far.

“It’s okay, Eddie.” Buck’s voice was so calm, there was a small smile on his lips. Eddie was speechless. Once again, it didn’t matter, because Buck spoke again: “Thank you.”

Eddie stared at Buck, his eyes roaming Buck’s face, searching for answers. Why did he suddenly feel so warm with Buck’s hands on him, why did his heart beat like crazy, why were his hands shaking as he reached to touch Buck again? This time, when the answer stared him in the face, quite literally, he didn’t try to hide, to run away.

He wasn’t brave enough to say the words, so he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Buck’s forehead. Buck, who watched Eddie tuck Chris into bed more times than he could count, knew exactly what it meant. He wrapped his hands around Eddie in a crushing embrace, and whispered against his ear: “Me too, Eddie.” Then he felt Buck’s lips at his jaw, and as much as he wanted to stay in Buck’s embrace for the rest of eternity, there was something else he was dying to do.

So he pulled back, only to lean back in and finally, finally, kissed Buck’s lips.

Buck’s hands were on his face in an instant, holding gently, his thumbs caressing his cheeks softly. His lips were just as soft, careful, moving painfully slowly against Eddie’s. But there was no rush, Eddie told himself, he could enjoy this. So he did. He kissed Buck with just a little more pressure, he gripped Buck’s shoulders just that bit tighter, finally understanding why his heart always felt heavy and light at the same time when he was with Buck. He let Buck kiss him back any way he wanted, he let Buck bite at his lower lip, let his tongue trace his lip, against his tongue, and he felt his heart fill with warmth and explode over and over. He kissed Buck’s jaw, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck to his collarbones. Buck’s hands were on Eddie’s skin now, his shirt pulled up by Buck’s curious fingers. Eddie felt Buck’s fingernails running gently up and down his lower back and he shivered, letting out a sigh.

“You like that?” Buck asked him, his voice deep and raspy. His nails were now firmer on Eddie’s back, more insistent. He moaned. And that was all the answer Buck needed.

His lips were on Eddie’s again, his hands never leaving Eddie’s back. Even when – after making sure that’s what Eddie wanted – he was taking off Eddie’s shirt, he managed to keep one hand on his hip. Eddie wasn’t sure if it was meant to reassure or tease him, either way he was thankful. Buck only let go to take his own shirt off, and even that short moment left Eddie feeling cold and alone. Then Buck’s hands were all over him, as if he couldn’t get enough of Eddie’s skin, as if holding Eddie forever wouldn’t be enough.

They made their way to the bedroom, only stopping once to make out against the wall, Eddie pressing his body against Buck’s, feeling Buck’s erection at his hip. After that, it was only thanks to Buck’s strong hands pushing him away and towards the bedroom, that they even made it there. Then the door was closed behind them and Buck’s hands were on Eddie’s hips, pushing his sweatpants down and off, along with his underwear. Eddie tried to do the same for Buck, struggling with his belt buckle, until Buck took pity on him and took the rest of his clothes off himself.

Eddie was pushing him towards the bed, crawling on top of him. Their bodies were flush against each other’s, nothing but skin on skin.  Eddie was breathless. For once, it was a good feeling. He looked at Buck, who looked back at him, waiting. Buck was waiting for Eddie to make a move, to set the pace, Buck was giving him a go-ahead for anything he wanted. But Eddie couldn’t do that, couldn’t possibly do something – anything – if he wasn’t entirely sure that’s what Buck wanted. So he asked: “What do you want, Buck?”

“Anything,” he replied, his voice low, “everything.”

And that wasn’t very helpful to Eddie. But if Buck wanted everything, he sure as hell would deliver. And if in the process he could get Buck to tell him what he really wanted, well, that would only be a bonus.

So he leaned down, his elbows supporting his weight, and he kissed Buck slowly. He let his lips ghost over Buck’s until he felt Buck trying to press closer, only then did he allow for an actual kiss. He licked and sucked at Buck���s lips, his hands on each side of Buck’s torso, not touching. He tried to ignore Buck’s hard cock pressing against his, he held his hips still. Buck’s hands were on Eddie’s back again, his nails digging in and it was almost enough for Eddie to abandon his plan and let Buck have anything, everything.

But he didn’t budge. Instead, he took hold of both Buck’s wrists and brought them above his head, holding them against the pillow with one of his hands. The other hand he used to prop himself us so that his hips weren’t touching Buck’s.

Buck groaned it frustration but said nothing. So Eddie kissed his neck, both his shoulders, sucked a hickey right over where his heart was, all the while still holding Buck’s wrists. And Buck made all the sounds Eddie never even thought to dream about. And he tried to move his hips, tried to free his hands to touch Eddie, but Eddie was having none of that.

“Stay still,” he demanded in the most authoritative tone he could muster in the moment, “and keep your hands where they are.” It seemed to work like magic, Buck went perfectly still and when Eddie let go of Buck’s wrists, his hands didn’t move an inch. Eddie nodded approvingly, then went to trail kisses down Buck’s chest and stomach. When he got all the way to his hips, he sucked a mark on each side, making Buck moan, struggling to stay still. Eddie moved lower; he could feel Buck hold his breath in anticipation.

Ignoring Buck’s erection, Eddie kissed down his thigh.

“Eddie,” Buck sighed in frustration.

Eddie traced his lips to Buck’s knee, then took hold of his ankle and moved Buck’s leg so that it was bent. He kissed Buck’s knee again, then moved his lips and tongue and teeth to Buck’s inner thigh. He heard Buck take in a sharp breath, he heard him try to muffle his sighs by biting his lip. When he worked his way almost all the way up Buck’s thigh, Eddie felt him hold his breath again.

Eddie switched to Buck’s other leg, repeating the process, dragging it out even more. His own dick was achingly hard, but he focused on Buck instead. Kissing and nibbling at the sensitive skin of Buck’s thigh. Buck’s sighs and groans were a mixture of pleasure and frustration, until finally Eddie heard him say: “Eddie, please!”

That was his cue.

He stopped licking at Buck’s skin, pulled away, and looked up at Buck asking with fake innocence: “Please, what?”

“Fuck me,” was what Buck said.

Eddie couldn’t even congratulate himself on how easy that was, he felt a shiver run all the way through him.

“That’s not exactly how I prefer to call it, but…”

He reached for his bedside table, taking out lube and a condom, then climbed over to Buck again. Their eyes locked, Eddie could see Buck’s lips twitch, trying not to smile. Apparently, Eddie wasn’t the only one playing a game here.

“Make love to me, Eddie.”

And that was it for him, he couldn’t hold back any longer. He grabbed the bottle of lube and squeezed out what was probably too much, but he couldn’t care less. He pressed a slick finger against Buck’s hole, not quite pressing in just yet, just circling around.

Buck moaned. The sound made Eddie’s head spin. He pressed his finger in gently, watching Buck’s face to make sure he wasn’t hurting him in any way. He moved his finger carefully in and out until Buck asked formore Eddie please I need more. He added another finger, his other hand holding Buck’s hip gently but firmly. Then it was three of Eddie’s fingers inside Buck and the only words leaving Buck’s mouth was a mantra of please please please as Eddie’s fingers brushed his prostate over and over. When he pulled out his fingers, Buck made a sound at the loss, almost like a sob. Eddie kissed his stomach.

“I got you,” he promised.

He struggled with the condom for longer than he’d wish to admit, his hands shaking. Once he figured it out, he reached for the lube again, coating his cock, then tossing the bottle somewhere by the foot of the bed. He leaned over Buck who was looking at him with so much love in his face Eddie nearly passed out. He positioned himself between Buck’s legs, pressing his cock against Buck’s already slick hole. He placed his hands on Buck’s hips and pushed in. Buck’s eyes closed, his hands tangled in the pillows, still trying to stay still. Eddie leaned in to kiss him softly.

“You can touch me, Buck,” he whispered.

Buck let out the biggest sigh of relief, his hands going to Eddie’s shoulders immediately. Eddie kept their bodies pressed flush against each other’s as he moved his hips, his lips never once leaving Buck’s skin. He pushed in and out slowly, listening to Buck’s sighs and moans, his ear right next to Buck’s lips. As much as Buck seemed to be content with their slow pace, Eddie wanted more. He sped up his thrusts, only just enough so that Buck picked up on it, could stop him if he wanted to. He didn’t. He pushed his hips up to meet Eddie’s, gripping his shoulders tight for leverage.

That little change in angle was all it took, Eddie now hitting Buck’s prostate with each thrust. Buck had to press his lips against Eddie’s in an attempt not to scream. Eddie held onto Buck, kissing back messily, he felt his own orgasm approaching.

“Eddie-” Buck pulled away; spoke to warn Eddie he was close. Eddie kissed the corner of his lips.

“I got you,” he said again, then sped up his thrusts even more, angling his hips just right. Buck came, burying his lips in Eddie’s shoulder to silence himself. Eddie followed short after, collapsing on top of Buck.

After they were cleaned up and cuddled on the bed, this time under the covers, Buck’s head on Eddie’s chest, Eddie’s hands wrapped around Buck protectively, Eddie teased: “A keeper, huh?”

Buck laughed. He kissed Eddie’s jaw.

“You definitely are a keeper,” Buck said with a soft smile, then added, “thanks again, for standing up for me. I really appreciate it.”

And Eddie just looked at him fondly.

“I got you, always.”

[yodawgiherd]

Gone Clubbing

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Coming hot from the Red Flag update, I wrote this chapter that is in a very similar light. It fits the story, so you can't blame me :P Enjoy!

The interior of the club was looking surprisingly normal. Dark colors, tasteful wooden decorations, tables and booths lining the walls. There was a bar in one corner, but the center of the whole club was undoubtedly the raised stage. It was empty now, Darius’ performance didn’t start yet, so Eren took the lead and maneuvered them towards the reserved booth.

Looking around, he realized one thing. Hey, they even fit here! Mikasa was looking amazing as ever and her goth getup worked well with the overall vibe of the club. Eren, who was dubbed a clown by both himself and his friends, also got substantially better, because black lipstick and nail polish were very far from the most eccentric clothing they saw.

“Look, that catsuit is the same as one of yours.”, he pointed out, making Mikasa look.

“It is..”, she agreed, inspecting the latex bodysuit of one of the visitors, “I guess Darius is making big bucks with custom-made gear.”

“He is an artist.”

“True that. Everything we got from him is amazing, so I will never disagree with his statements.”

Mikasa’s grey eyes slid towards the bar, pondering the question of “not getting hammered.” She could handle a few more drinks, especially when she asks for something with less alcohol, and there was no reason to just sit here dry.

“Well, I’ll get us something to drink, because I might get thirsty over the course of the evening.“, Mikasa stated, letting the double entendre hang in the air as she stood up and walked in the direction of the bar.

That’s when Eren’s phone rang, and a quick check showed that it was his mother calling. As one does not let his mother go into voicemail, he picked up, curious what she might want. They did see each other a few hours back.

“Mom?”

“E-Eren, you freak!”

That made him blink.

“Come again?”

“I know what you did! Mikasa spilled the beans and now I know… Everything! I don’t remember raising you like this!”

Eyes flying to where his fiancé was, Eren’s mind worked frantically around the words. Carla knew… everything? What did that mean? What did Mikasa tell her? He couldn’t imagine his reserved girlfriend bragging about anything embarrassing in public, so…

“Mom, what are you talking about?”

“I know that you… you had s… sex in public, Mikasa said so.”

Statement one – Carla was drunk, judging from how she mingled the words.

Statement two- What the fuck?!

Statement three – What on god’s green earth made Mikasa tell Carla such a thing. Fine, it was far from the worst that they’ve done, but still. It’s not something that you boast about to family members, and Eren would rather bite his tongue clear off than walk up to Levi and say: “Hey friend, did you know that I often tie your little sister up and do all kinds of freaky shit to her?”

“Well, I mean…”

But Carla didn’t even let him finish, another accusation flying Eren’s way.

“And you have a tattoo!”

“You said that it looked cool!”

“Yes but…”, she sniffled on the other side, “You were just a tiny little baby yesterday, and today you have a tattoo and a girlfriend and… s-sex… and…”

The sounds she was making were suspiciously like sobs.

“Mom? Are you okay?”

“Y-Yes... It’s…”, he could hear her shaky exhale, “I wasn’t here for such a big part of your life, I missed so much.”

“Mom I…”

“No, it’s my fault, I was the one who decided to leave. But no more. I promise that I’ll be around much more Eren, I want to remember what you do, I want to be a part of your life.”

“You are a part of my life mom.”

“Bigger part then.”

“Very well.”, he chuckled, “Do you want me to come over and talk?”

“No, I know when I’m drunk. Mikasa’s party was great but I feel like lying down now.”, Carla bit back a yawn, “Also, tell her that she looked beautiful today.”¨

“See? Even you tell me that she’s beautiful and you act all surprised when she tells you that we fu-… I mean that we are intimate. Like seriously, did you think that we were in some sort of celibate relationship where we kiss each other on the cheek and sleep in separate beds?”

“Okay Mr. Libido, where are my grandchildren then?”

If Eren was drinking anything, he would spit it out right now.

“Mom! What the hell?”

“I’m just saying Eren, if I die without seeing a single tiny bundle of joy from you and Mikasa, I’ll haunt you for the rest of your days.”

“I…”

“Shush, I’ll get out of your hair now. I love you Eren and tell Mikasa I love her too. She’s like the daughter I never had.”

“Now that would make things rather awkward between us.”

“You know what I mean! Once you finally push yourself to action and marry the poor girl, she’s going to be my in-law anyway.”

“Wait, did you say poor?”

“Good night sweetie!”

And with a click, Carla was gone. Putting the phone down, Eren’s eyes were drawn to Mikasa making her way back towards him, two glasses in hand. She moved through the club with her usual predatory grace, easily weaving through the people there, completely in her element. Eren wasn’t the only one watching her, he noticed, several pairs and individuals stole a look at the enchantingly beautiful goth girl that walked in their midst. Maybe it should have made Eren jealous, but all he felt was a pang of foolish pride in his chest. Yes, she’s so incredibly gorgeous, and she’s mine. Look, but don’t touch or we might have a problem. Or who was he kidding, Mikasa would definitely take care of herself. She was the one who, in high school, broke a hand of a guy who touched her without permission.

Reaching her destination, Mikasa slid down to the booth next to Eren, putting the glasses on the table. A bit driven by all the stares, he immediately took the opportunity to grab a sort of possessive hold of her, angling her face so he could kiss her. Way more aggressive and deeper than necessary, but he was buzzed just the right way not to care. Let anyone see how much he loves her. They were in a freaking BDSM club anyway, this was by far not the worst that happened here.

“Well hello stranger,”, she said once they broke apart, her cheeks all flushed and the black lipstick smeared around her lips, “Didn’t know that you were this grateful for the drink”

Keeping one hand wrapped around her, Eren took a sip of whatever she brought up, pleasantly surprised. It was good, way better than he expected even, as one would not think that a club like this needed an amazing bartender. There were other reasons why people came.

“Mom called.”, he announced, putting the glass back down, “She knows about our public adventures because you told her. May I know why?”

“Eeh, I couldn’t help it.”, Mikasa had an apologetic smile on her lips, “We were playing truth or dare, and it sort of came up.”

Truth or dare? That did sound like fun, and Eren regretted the dumb argument he got into with the other guys at the bar. Pulling out secrets from Hitch or Krista, or hell, his own mother, would have been amazing. Then again, he was here with Mikasa, they had drinks and the show didn’t start yet. So…

“Wanna have a little game of our own?”

“Why? We know exactly what we did.”

“Maybe it’s just an excuse to get you drunk.”

“Ooh, you sly bastard.”, Mikasa’s eyes narrowed, “You’re on.”

“Good, I’ll be taking the first word then.”

Eren cleared his throat, raised his glass, and began.

“Never have I ever been suspended from a ceiling.”

“Cheap shot.”, she commented.

“Could be, but still.”, he tapped her glass, “Drink, shibari lover.”

She did so, revenge forming in her head.

“Never have I ever licked someone’s boots.”

“And you talk about cheap shots.”, Eren clicked his tongue but drank.

“Never have I ever done a pole dance.”, he shot back.

Mikasa’s eyes were calculating as she took a sip.

“Maybe we will have to change that.”, she said before firing her volley, “Never have I ever filmed us having sex.”

“That tape is going to be useful one day. And we have so many more to make…”

Mikasa ignored the tingle that it sent down her spine, frowning at her fiancé.

“Sure thing, voyeur.”

Rolling his eyes, Eren drank.

“Never have  I ever wore cat ears during sex.”

“Yet.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing, nothing.”, with a mysterious smile, Mikasa drank.

“Never have I ever been in a chastity cage.”

“How the hell is that fair? You literally can’t even be in one.”

“There are similar devices for women, it’s fair play.”

“But…”

“No buts.”, she pointed at the glass in clear command, “Drink, puppy.”

Eren obeyed, eyes studying her even as he spoke.

“Never have I ever stepped on someone.”

“Oh please, you enjoyed it!”

“Sure did,”, Eren agreed,  “but that’s not the point of this game.”

Mikasa took a swig, a follow-up in her mind.

“Never have I ever come from a footjob.”

“Dirty.”, a sip, and it was Eren’s turn, “Never have I ever been taken against my will.”

“Can you really call it non-consent when I was the one who came up with the idea?”,  Mikasa wondered, clearly just stalling.

“Miki, I still have some of the photos I took of you back then. Should I pull them up as evidence and let the committee decide?”

Defeated by a sound argument, Mikasa drank.

“Maybe we could give it another shot, sometimes soon.”, she said, remembering how strange the experience was.

Terrifying and perfect at the same time, she was scared for her life when the Not-Eren threatened her, he managed to play the role of an abusive bastard so well. Maybe there was something about him being a bad guy in her dreams because at least party he could be such an asshole even in real life. If she begged nicely, that is.

“I’d have to ask Mr. Incognito if he has a free schedule.”, Eren joked, making Mikasa snicker, “But I have a faint feeling that he might squeeze you in.”

“Let’s leave it on open for now, who knows, maybe I will be the one in charge once we get around to the thing.”

That made Eren blink a few times.

“You want to do that to me?”

“Maybe..”, a bit of worry entered her face when she realized that Eren might not be into it. She had to be sure because Mikasa would never force him into something he didn’t want, that was a big No in their relationship.

“Don’t you want me to?”, she asked, but Eren shook his head.

“It’s not that I don’t want it, I honestly just have a hard time coming up with any scenario where I don’t want to have sex with you.”

“Tsk, don’t you worry about that. If I want it, I’ll come up with something.”

“Fine by me. Open it is then.”

With that topic solved, it was time to continue their game. Mikasa’s turn, she thought for a moment before she tried her next line.

“Never have I ever deepthroated a strap-on.”

But Eren was having none of that.

“Nah, but you did, don’t you remember the “class” you gave me?”

“That wasn’t a strap-on, it was a vibrator!”

“Close enough. Drink.”

Murmuring about unfair rules and crooked referees, Mikasa drank with Eren mirroring her.

“Never have I ever had anal sex.”, was his put, and Mikasa snorted in amusement. She couldn’t even count how many times Eren was either the giving or receiving party in anal sex, so she called him out on his bullshit.

“Seriously? Do you need me to spell it out for you?”, Mikasa moved closer, whispering, “Slut.”

It was magical how a single word could make Eren’s crotch tingle.

“No need, I did it on purpose.”, he drained his glass, putting it down, “I like the stuff they serve in here.”

Chuckling, Mikasa followed suit, both their drinks empty. Then, just as Eren was about to get up for a refill, the lights dimmed and the show began.

The figure that walked in on the stage was undoubtedly Darius Zackly, and he was followed by not one but two women, the player. One was dark-skinned and the other very pale, almost as much as Mikasa. To contrast their natural look, each wore lingerie of the opposite color, white on black and black on white, complete with high heels on their feet. No one spoke, the trio bowed to the crowd instead, almost dramatically, while two rings descended from above, stopping to hover over them.

Keeping his mysterious air, Darius held out a hand and the pale girl moved, grabbing a rope from the cart in the back and handing it to him. With the silky thing in hand, Zackly began his performance. He worked on the black girl first, coming up with an intricate design. Even the rope was white, Mikasa realized, a stark difference to the model’s skin. First, Darius tied her hands behind her back. The second rope went around her chest, tying her breasts in a very familiar design. Then he guided a rope through the metal ring, one that went from her tied hands to the chest bondage. With that, the ring rode up a bit, forcing the model to stretch her body and anchoring her in place.

“Isn’t the chest bondage the one you used on me?”, Mikasa whispered to Eren, recognizing the shapes.

He studied the way Darius worked the ropes for a moment.

“It is, you have a good eye. Although the binding on her hands is different than the one I used on you.”

“Because you tied me all the way from wrists to elbows.”, she made a tiny frown appear on her face, “I couldn’t move my hands at all.”

“Only the most secure bondage for a beast like you.”, he chuckled, kissing Mikasa’s scarred cheek, “I can’t edge you unless you are properly bound, otherwise you take control of the situation.”

“You better keep those skills up then.”

“For you Miki? Anything.”

The performance continued while they talked, and Darius was now working on the model’s legs. He didn’t touch her right leg, but her left was picked up and bend at the knee. Ropes sneaking around the limb, Zackly immobilized it, and that was it for the black girl. She was now balancing on one leg, but with the ropes pulling her up it wasn’t that much of a strain. With one model done, Darius turned his attention to the pale girl.

Retrieving a few more ropes from the cart, black ones this time, he closed the distance to his partner. Following the same path as before, Zackly tied her hands and chest first, copying the pattern. But then the show changed. He didn’t secure the model to the ring, he made her lie down instead, kneeling and working on her legs like that, with her on the floor. The ring started descending at the same time, going very, very low. Done with the design, Darius pulled the rope up and into the ring, anchoring it. And that’s when Eren realized what was happening.

“He’s hanging her upside down.”

“Ooh, that looks like fun.”, Mikasa poked Eren in the shoulder, “Why don’t you do that to me?”

“Eh, I don’t prefer it. When you are upside down, blood goes to your head quickly, so you have to be very mindful of the time. When I tie you up, I like to go slow, really enjoy you.”

“Hmm.”, Mikasa’s eyes were back on the performance.

She was chewing on something in her mind, and Eren had a chuckle when he realized what it was. So many things that they’ve done and Mikasa still had trouble asking him for something.

“We can try it if you want.”, he offered, making her face light up.

She leaned over to press a chaste kiss to his lips followed by a gentle whisper.

“Thanks, I’d like that.”

Just then the whirring resumed, and the ring began ascending, pulling the pale girl up. Upwards she went, until her whole body was off the floor and hanging from the ring, her blonde hair cascading around her face. It was the hangman position, Eren realized. And when Darius took a step back, both Mikasa and he finally took in the thing Zackly created as a whole. Contrast, that was the centerpiece of his performance. One girl was standing while the other was hanging upside down, both in the exact same position. One was dark-skinned yet wearing white lingerie and tied by a white rope, while the other was pale, wearing black and tied by a black rope. It was bondage, but at the same time it was art, and from the murmur that ran through the club they weren’t the only ones who realized that. The old man was an artist, no matter how you put it.

With a bow from Darius, his performance was finished. Both Eren and Mikasa joined in on the applause that resounded through the club, the show he put on was amazing. Once the ruckus began to die down and everyone got their fill of ogling the beautiful bondage design, Zackly untied the ladies while talking to them, laughing here and there. It was an interesting dynamic to see them like this, relaxed around each other, it betrayed that they all have been in this business for some time.

“Hello?”

As they were both watching the stage, neither Eren nor Mikasa saw the couple approach them. The woman was tall, made even taller by the extremely high heels on her shoes. It was the one that Eren noticed earlier, dressed in a latex bodysuit of the same design as one of Mikasa’s. The man at her side was much less eccentric, wearing jeans and a shirt, but when he nodded his head in greeting Eren saw that there was a collar around his neck, marking him as a property of the lady next to him.

“Hi,”, the woman repeated, “Did you like the show?”

Mikasa took the lead in answering.

“Yes, it was great, very artistic too.”

“That’s Zackly for you,”, the woman smirked, “He is amazing at what he does.”

“But we didn’t come here to fawn over Darius,”, that was the man speaking, nudging his partner, “Did we, sweetie?”

“Right, no, we didn’t. We came to talk to you for a reason.”

“Which is?”, Eren asked.

The woman faced Mikasa when she spoke, the words aimed at her.

“I hope that we aren’t too straightforward, but my husband saw you at the bar, and he was quite taken by you.”

Eren had to bite back a laugh at how Mikasa’s eyes widened.

“H-huh?”, was all she managed.

“We were wondering if you would be willing to do a partner exchange for a night or two, maybe a weekend.”, the collared husband took the word, “If you guys are into it, of course.”

“He’s a bottom, as you might have guessed,” the latex-clad woman followed up, “and from watching you I’d guess that you are the top in your relationship? You have that air of dominance around you.”

“I-I do?”, Mikasa choked out, much to Eren’s amusement.

But he wasn’t spared either, as the woman’s eyes slid over to him.

“You don’t have to worry either pretty boy, I promise that I’d take good care of you. I’m an experienced dominatrix.”

Now it was Eren’s eyes widening. He and Mikasa looked at each other, neither knowing what to say. Seeing their slight panic, the man grinned.

“I feel like we started with a wrong question, we should have asked if you are in an open relationship first.”

“That’s right, our fault.”, the woman agreed immediately, “Sorry if we are making you uncomfortable with this.”

Finally understanding what this was about, Mikasa blushed but reached out, taking hold of Eren’s arm.

“No, we are not open.”, she said, meeting the woman’s eyes, “We are very closed.”

“Yep, just me and her, no one else.”

“Aw, that’s too bad, you guys are something else.”, the woman clicked her tongue, “Oh well, can’t have everything.”

“We will take our leave then.”, the man said, unbothered by the refusal, “Have a pleasant evening.”

With that, he walked away and deeper into the club. The woman stole a last wanton look at Eren before following, her heels clicking against the floor. The stunned silence that came didn’t even get a chance to properly cook before a new figure appeared. Familiar one this time, it was Darius who slid into the booth, grinning at the pair.

“Eren! Mikasa! I knew that I saw you!”

His joy was infectious, and the cold feeling was being melted by his presence alone.

“That was an amazing show,”, Eren complimented him straight off the bat, “You are so good with the rope.”

“Bah, just years of training. Plus judging from our talk, you are pretty good yourself, the forms you wanted to do were rather advanced.”, his gaze went over to Mikasa, “Isn’t that correct, miss Ackerman?”

She nodded, feeling way more relaxed around Darius than the two from before. But his mention of her, Eren’s significant other, combined with how the pair talked about open relationships and brought a question out of Mikasa, one that she was pondering ever since they entered the club.

“Darius, aren’t you married?”

“Sure am.”

“And your wife… does she know about this?”

“But of course, I don’t think that keeping such a big thing secret is a good idea.”, Zackly sighed, “I keep trying to make her come here, but this scene doesn’t interest her at all.”

“So she doesn’t mind you working with other women?”

“Not at all, she knows that I appreciate the art in bondage, not the sexuality.”

“That’s very open-minded of her.”

“I mean, I work in a sex shop,”, Darius shrugged, “I never kept what I like hidden.”

Smart approach, if they ever heard one. Seeing that he satisfied Mikasa’s curiosity, Darius put forward his idea.

“Are you liking the club?”

Two heads nodded to that.

“What about the performance, looked like fun, right?”

“For sure.”

Well then…

“The thing is, you guys could perform here too if you wanted.”

“W-What?”, Eren exchanged a bewildered look with Mikasa, “You’re joking, right?”

“Why would I?”, Darius continued, completely unmoved, “How long have you two been in this biz?”

“A bit over four years at this point?”, Eren guessed and Mikasa agreed silently.

“And I’d guess that you have the skills for it.”

“I mean…”

But they did, all the plays and scenes they did together amounted to a fair amount of skill when it came to the act. Mikasa knew how to maneuver her sub expertly, Eren knew how to tie her up without worrying that he might hurt her. The experience did matter. Having a quick mental conversation, they both agreed in the end.

“See? I’m willing to bet that either of you could easily take the stage. Forgive me for saying, but you two are very, very hot. In fact, I’d go as far as saying that you two are the hottest couple I’ve seen here, and you would be in high demand.”, he gestured around, “If I walked around the club and asked every single person in here if they would perform with you, I’m pretty sure that I could count the number of “No.” on fingers of one hand.”

He redirected his attention to the pair.

“From the various gear I sold you, I’d guess that you are both switches, right?”

This time it was Mikasa who answered, agreeing cautiously.

“See? Even better. The possibilities would be endless..”

This felt like the same conversation they had with the pair from earlier.

“Look, the thing is, I don’t think that either I or Mikasa would be willing to ever perform with anyone else.”, Eren cut into his monologue, “We are very… possessive of one another.”

Mikasa was again just nodding to his words, shuffling closer and wrapping her hand around Eren’s waist. He did the same, surprising her a bit when Eren pulled Mikasa to sit on his lap. Talk about needing to express your attachment physically.

“We are super exclusive to each other.”

Seeing that and hearing her words, Darius grinned.

“You guys are just adorable. This devotion you have, this is rare to see and it’s so beautiful.”

“T-Thanks.”

“But still, if you want, you could totally perform as a pair. Even exclusive, seeing one of you work the other would give the guests something to dream about.”

“Look, we will think about it.”

“Of course! No one will ever force you into anything.”, Darius calmed them immediately, “Your comfort and consent are the most important things here.”

He said his piece, got the offer out, and there were still several people he needed to talk to. So bidding the half-confused half-surprised pair a quick goodbye and see you soon, Darius stood up and disappeared towards the bar. Eren was the one who broke the silence Zackly left behind, rubbing Mikasa’s back in a soothing motion.

“So, what do you think?”

She shifted on his lap, chewing her dark bottom lip cautiously for a moment before answering.

“Ask me a year back and I would say No. Ask me two years back and I’d laugh at you. Ask me three years back and I wouldn’t talk to you for a week. But now…”

“Let’s add it to our pile of open topics.”, Eren proposed, “No need to worry about that now.”

With that out of the way, Mikasa grew more relaxed again. Just when Eren was returning from the bar with refilled drinks, she looked up at him, eyes sparkling.

“We should bring Ymir and Krista here.”

“Why is that?”

“Krista needs a confidence boost. She wants to top Ymir, but she keeps questioning herself, so uncertain about it all.”, Mikasa gestured around, “Being here, I think that it could bring her inner domme out.”

“From what I hear you are sure that there will be a next time?”

Realizing the meaning of her words, Mikasa smirked.

“I would want that. I like it here.”

“Ah, look at us – the quiet goth girl from the back of the class and the grade-a student. How far we’ve come.”

“Indeed, but I’m enjoying these changes. Do you?”

“As if you had to ask. When I’m with you, I’ll go for anything, and do you feel like stopping what we do?”

Mikasa’s black lips curled upwards as she shook her head.

“Hell no.”

This year’s birthday was amazing and Mikasa made sure to thank Eren properly once they got home. But the amazing night would have a sadder continuation because, despite all the great fun that she experienced tonight, Mikasa’s dreams were once again disturbed by an unwelcome visitor.

A nightmare.

[letsperaltiago]

one single thread of gold tied me to you

From the very first time Jake mentions her name, Karen sees a thread of gold tying him to Amy. In other words: a series of small moments in which Jake is talking to Karen about Amy.

or

Jake talking to Karen about Amy throughout their relationship

Read here or on AO3 

The new girl

“Anything exciting happening at work?”

“Nah,” Jake halts, pausing to think between bites of the dinner Karen has prepared for the two of them. Because he’s the only child (and the fact that he’s a huge momma’s boy) he tries to stop by Karen’s once a week. Either for a quick chat and a coffee or longer. If the latter includes dinner, which it often does, then it’s always a huge plus. Tonight’s visit is one of the longer ones, much needed, and of course dinner is a must.

“Or,” he takes back his prior dismissal. “Like, this new girl joined the squad last week, so that’s… exciting, I guess?”

Karen’s head perks up letting her son know that she’s indeed listening.

“Well that’s always a good thing. What’s her name?”

By then Jake is already busy chewing on another bite of her mom’s baked potatoes - a personal favorite of his. Then again any food his mom makes is his favorite.

“Amy Santiago. She seems cool enough, I guess. Then again she just arrived so I guess I’ll have to see.”

Although the world, more specifically Jake, isn’t aware of it yet, the spinning of his and Amy’s golden thread commences its journey here. Karen smiles to herself as this, she realises, is the perfect opportunity for her to pick a bit on her son who’s never shy of teasing her. Lovingly, of course.

“Maybe she’s cool enough to date?”

The statement immediately interrupts his before eager chewing, a press on his entire body’s pause button, and earns Karen a deadpan expression as answer to her so-called proposition.

“Mom, please.”

There’s small smile on his face as he knows his mom is out to pester him. “Charles already went all Cupid on us when she arrived, so the last thing she needs is me hitting on her. Plus,” he’s back to being chewing on a mix of potatoes and meat, “I don’t even know her.”

“Well that’s just a matter of time, honey.”

Having nothing else to add he figures a shrug must be answer enough.

“Anyways,” he looks back up from his plate to his mother. “How’s Carla?”

Rivalling close friends

For her son’s birthday Karen has invited the squad over to her place for a celebratory dinner. At this point, since they’re good at dropping by if they’re ever in her neighbourhood or nearby for work, she’s familiar with most of the people Jake spends 95% of his time with - this with an exception of Amy and Holt.

They’re setting the table while Jake gives her one last quick rundown of the 99th precinct’s squad, so Karen is sure of who the different people are.

“… And Amy, besides Holt, is the last one to have joined the squad. She’s that super neat, kinda annoying one, I’ve told you about. You know, the one who tells me that I can’t eat in her car, and constantly corrects my grammar.”

“I thought you liked her?” He can’t see tell, since he’s busy setting the table, but Karen frowns finding it unlikely that her son suddenly has something against a colleague he most of the time spoke so highly of.

“I do, mom and that’s what’s so annoying. She’s the worst and best of all worlds...” He pauses in the middle of putting down a plate giving himself some time to turn over his thoughts. “… I mean, she probably is my best friend at this point, besides Charles, yanno? But please don’t tell him I said that. His little heart can’t take it.”

“Because of jealousy or because he’s dying to see you and Amy together?”

“Both,” Jake chuckles shaking his head in disbelief of the fact that he puts up with this situation daily.

Karen knows Jake’s “brother from another mother”, how the little man had introduced himself the first time she met him, very well  and can’t hold back a chuckle at the very vivid mental picture of a both jealous but also over the moon Charles.

“Your secret is safe with me.”

It brings an even wider smile to his face upon seeing his mother pretending to lock her lips and throw away an invisible key. Okay, maybe his mom is his best friend, but Amy and Charles are a close second.

Sadly Amy has fallen sick and never makes it to the birthday dinner, but upon arrival Rosa hands him a pretty gift bag with a tiny card and impeccable handwriting that says: Happy birthday, Pineapples ;) Inside the bag he finds the limited edition Die Hard 2: Die Harder-poster that had smashed his heart to pieces when someone had outbidded him for it on eBay. Little had he known it was Amy, sitting just a few feet away by her desk opposite of him, who’d outdone his bid with a sly smirk on her face. A smile which she could hide behind the big computer screen.

The smile on his face is impossible to hide and he immediately sends her a text:

‘ur gift made me die hard!!! guess ur not so bad after all ;) all kidding aside thank u so much and get well soon <3’

Later that night after everyone has left, he’s helping his mom cleaning the kitchen. Suddenly she hands over a homemade doggy bag with leftovers from the dinner.

“Don’t you think sweet, sick Amy deserves this after the gift she gave you?”

Her smirk doesn’t go unnoticed.

Jake of course agrees and later, on his way home, he drops it off at Amy’s place. It being late and not wanting to wake her up, he leaves it on her doorstep and sends her a text for her to see whenever she wakes up:

‘the bag on ur doorstep is not a bomb but a care package from mother peralta. hope ur feeling better but if u dont can i have your desk at work?’

A few days later Karen texts him a picture of a beautiful thank you card with the infamous, neatly Santiago style-written message thanking her for the thoughtful gesture. Jake smiles to himself and replies with a simple: ‘shes a good 1’

Unconsciously developing feelings

He never explicitly tells her. Still, Karen has her suspicions and they only grow every time her son mentions Amy’s name. Sooner rather than later it becomes very clear to her: her son would go to great lengths for his partner - even though he isn’t ready to acknowledge it yet.

“Mom, there’s no way I’m losing my car to her. I’m gonna take her on a date and she’s going to hate it and i’m going to love it- I mean… love her misery,” he corrects himself.

Karen is leaning against the doorframe to his still unaltered childhood bedroom, where Jake is currently rummaging through boxes containing a mix of childhood memories, dust and worthless nick-nack.

“You don’t happen to still have those old pictures of me and Jenny Gildenhorn, do you? I want to find an exact replica of Jenny’s hideous blue dress to torture Amy with.”

Knowing of Jake’s repressed, yet to be realised feelings, because a mother does know best, Karen rolls her eyes. He doesn’t notice. Probably because he has his head buried under his bed looking for more boxes and childhood treasures. Telling him to look for acknowledgement of his feelings for Amy while he’s down there is almost too tempting, but Karen manages to bite her lip. Hopefully he’ll see it himself one day… Or just keep talking the way he already does about her, even when complaining; it’s always with some kind of admiration. Karen sees the little twinkles in his eyes whenever the raven haired detective is brought up in a conversation.

To Amy’s sheer luck, Karen of course has loads of childhood pictures stored in a box in the garage and she gets to sit by knowingly as Jake searches multiple internet websites for the most horrible, blue, 80s dress possible. “Oh, mom… She’s going to hate this so much. Amazing.”

She doesn’t say anything but smiles knowingly as her son sits on her couch, laptop in his lap,  a boyish smile telling her that he is up to no good as he plans the (best) worst date for his “just a good friend”.

Pining

Everything seems harder at the moment. At least harder than what he’d like, Jake thinks to himself as he lies in bed, feeling tipsy from the few beers he had a Shaw’s. He knows he should just sleep but for some reason he can’t. Instead he tortures himself by staring at the ceiling which is definitely spinning - just a tiny bit though, he tries to convince himself.

He’s just come back from being undercover, and although it was kind of fun and definitely exciting in more ways than one, deep down inside he can’t deny that a tiny part of him had hoped Amy by now would give them a chance. It’s not that he’d expected her to break up with Teddy for him - it was her life to control after all. Not his. Although there was no shame in dreaming; dreaming that she’d welcome him back to the 9-9 with a slow motion run and kiss that would blow them both away, telling him that Teddy and his pilsners were out of the picture and that they belonged together;  all this time they’d been destined to belong to no one else but each other.

Alas this wasn’t the case and he returned from the mafia to a:

“I’m still with Teddy.”

The short sentence plays over and over in his head like a broken record he can’t turn off. The worst soundtrack of his life - without a doubt. Suddenly his phones rings, interrupting his spiralling thoughts.

“Hi, Mom,” he mumbles not hiding the fact that he’s exhausted, physically as well as mentally, and tipsy.

“Hi, honey. How did your first day back go?”

“It was... fine. Good to see everyone.”

Good to see Amy, Karen thinks before she does a double take when she picks up on her son’s voice clearly representing a moody side of him she, or anyone, rarely gets to see.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing, It’s-” he starts out not wanting to get into it, because feelings are messy and he always ends up being the hurt one anyways…  But on the other hand, he thinks, his mom will figure out either way - if she hasn’t already. Perhaps his lack of soberness also takes part in his sudden honesty.

“Amy,” he sighs.

“Is everything all right with her?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. I just-” he pauses. “She’s with this guy and-”

“You wish she wasn’t?” Karen beats him to it and finishes the sentence for him.

“Yeah or- I don’t know. I want her to be happy but...” he sounds utterly defeated to a point that hints at teary, she can tell even though she can’t see him. In that moment Karen wants nothing more than hug her little boy. “I really like her, mom.”

His voice never breaks entirely but it’s a fine line he’s walking throughout the entire conversation. Everything pours out of him; he’s a book of sentimental secrets opening up about his Achilles’ heel for the first time and all his mother can do is listen as he describes his favorite parts of Amy (which is pretty much everything): everything from the way her dark ponytail swings back and forth with purpose when she walks to a crime scene to how, when they’re out drinking with the squad, she always get him a beer whenever she gets up to get herself one.

It’s almost as if the spinning of the golden thread, still unknown to the world, between him and Amy is slowly choking him.

“I want her to be happy, mom… I just-” he almost dozes off before finishing the sentence but fights through it and it’s all at once incredibly endearing and heartbreaking to Karen who’s still listening from her end of the line.

“... I just wish she would be happy with me instead.”

New couple

It’s truly unbelievable. Jake can’t believe he’s about call his mom to tell her: tell her that he’s with Amy now.  

It’s been a month now; a month of him being with Amy and being so very happy he still can’t believe he’s been spending all this time not feeling like this. However, not wanting to rush things or put any pressure on either of them, simply enjoying being together, no one else but the squad knows about them.

Them. Him and Amy. A thing.

Just thinking about him and Amy that way, it almost makes him dizzy of pure disbelief. There had been so much buildup, such a long history of back and forth, bad timing, but all that aside now here they were. Amy Santiago was his girlfriend. Maybe that is the thought that causes his heart to take on a way too quick beating pattern and the hand holding his phone to become clammy. Now is the time though and he doesn’t hesitate to hit his mom’s contact. It rings. Jake can clearly hear his heart thump loudly against his ribcage. Should he be this nervous?

One time.

Two times.

Thre-

“Hi, honey,” his mom’s warm chipper voice interrupts the monotone ringing instantly making his lips spread into a small smile and heart take a break from the irrational thumping.

“Hey, mom,” he starts pacing around his apartment in attempt of diverting all the energy and emotions rushing through him, unconsciously bringing him everywhere from his bed to his kitchen.

“So it’s actually been a little while now… And I haven’t said anything since I didn’t want to rush anything but,” he cuts the sentence in two with a deep breath. “So, like… Amy and I are dating... together... her and I,” he starts rambling and wow he really should’ve written this down first. Karen doesn’t let it go on for too long though too excited to not say anything.

“Honey, I’m so so happy for you two! And it was about time that you finally told me!”

Jake’s pacing stops on the spot.

“What do you mean “finally”?”

“Oh, Jake... Sometimes I think you forget that mothers know everything. Plus you’re not very good at hiding… bruises,” she clears her throat, emphasizing what she’s really saying while imagining her son blush on his end of the line. “Also you’ve been visiting less and less, which means someone else has to take up your time.Someone who is even cooler than your very own mom, someone who makes you this gitty and nervous to talk about… It had to be her you were calling about.”

The smile in her voice is clear as day, but Jake is still baffled trying to come up with an explanation or the very least a decent answer. There is none, he quickly abandons the plan and instead lets out a happy huff.

“She’s really cool, mom. So cool. The last month has been like… the best. I don’t know how else to describe it. She’s the best.”

Compared to the defeated and heartbroken man she spoke to all those months ago, after his return from being undercover, this is a whole new version of her son that she’s longed to see. Karen can’t physically see him but can still clearly tell he’s flipped the page and is taking on a better chapter of his life.

Early relationship

It’s another night at his mom’s. Although the motivation behind the visit is a tiny bit different than usual this time. Sure, they’re gonna talk and have a nice dinner prepared by Karen as per usual, although tonight the mother has to nurse a whiny Jake who’s missing his dear but very out of town for the week-girlfriend. And the experience feels… mixed.

“Dinner is ready!”

No response.

She looks up from where she’s just carefully put down a sizzling pan to see her son back against the one arm of her armchair with his legs svung over the other. Physically he might be close but mentally he’s so far away, clearly more focused on whatever is going on on his phone’s screen.

“Jake,” she tries again but rather than giving his mother a reply Jake start typing as if nothing or noone was within miles of him. Karen can’t help but feel like she’s raising a teenager all over again, a teenager with the attention span of a goldfish, although this time her son is actually in his late 30s, lives by himself and has a girlfriend. So little yet so much has changed about him.

“Jacob,” she tries with her more more stern voice. She knows what he’s doing, texting Amy, and even though it’s cute he needs to snap out of it. At least for long enough to eat. He finally reacts and looks in her direction. Realization hits him which immediately prompts him to push himself out of the seat.

“If you stop eating you won’t even be alive to see her when she comes back.”

He deserves to be teased, he figures.

“I’m sorry. It was a text from Amy and I just wanted to reply right away. I just really miss her, I guess... and this is the closest we’ll get to talking today since she’s busy with her family, so...”

He leaves his phone behind on the coffee table, implicitly letting his mother know she’s got his (somewhat) full attention from now on.

“It’s so weird. We’ve only been together for like...” he counts in his head. “... 5 months now, but I already can’t stand being away from her for too long. Am I insane?” he drops down into his usual seat by the dinner table, almost in defeat but Karen is quick to rescue him in his moment of overdramatic despair.

“No you’re not, I assure you.”

Karen grabs his hand to stroke it comfortingly. She knows her son didn’t mean to be rude, didn’t mean to ignore her and she loves how much he’s opened up about his emotions since getting together with Amy.

“It’s a good sign that you care so much, but just remember that distance makes the heart grow fonder and it’ll feel even better when she comes back… and until then you can let your old mom entertain you.”

They share a chuckle because they both know what that means.

“Did you get ice cream?” he asks.

“Strawberry, chocolate chip and cookie dough… and to top it off: Die Hard is ready to play the second we’re done eating and doing the dishes.”

It’s a little tradition of theirs: their shared comfort snack plus movie-combo.

“You know me so well,” Jake smiles almost forgetting about missing Amy.

If not for the rest of the week then at least for a couple of hours.

Going steady

This week is a a lot different from the usual. While it’s not every single week they actually manage to see each other or even get the time to talk, Karen knows for sure that she won’t hear from her son for at least a couple of days. Jake is away on a cruise with Amy, and so besides the few pictures he’s texted her of them eating shrimp in bed (she wonders how he talked Amy into that) and a huge seagull stealing some of Amy’s fries, Karen doesn’t expect a whole lot of her son’s attention that week.  

Which is why she is extremely surprised when her phone rings, her son’s picture and name displayed on her phone, in the middle of the night. Yes, the element of surprise is of course due to the fact that she knows he’s busy being away with Amy, but also much due the time at which he calls.

01:21

A mother’s undeniable fear and worry for her child never goes away, no matter how old said child is, and it now creeps in making her fear that the worst has happened. What could possibly lead him to call this late? She frantically grabs her phone from her night stand.

“Jake, it’s in the middle of the night. Is everything okay?” She doesn’t mean to come off as accusing but she’s definitely trying to get to the bottom of the mystery right away.

“I love her.”

It falls from his lips, very out of nowhere, and it’s hard to tell within what context it is to be interpreted. Interlacing with his voice is the sound of crashing waves and a strong breeze making Karen wonder where her son finds himself.

“Honey, what do you mean? Where are you?”

Maybe she should’ve understood right away, it was obvious, but not only was she sleeping just seconds ago but the background noise on his end of the line only makes the whole scene way more confusing than it already is.  

He breathes, out of breath almost as if he’s been running. “I’m outside. On the deck. And I love her, mom.”

“The deck?”

“No,” he pauses catching his breath. “Amy. I told her… Or she told me first and then I told her back. Nothing has ever felt more right.”

That makes way more sense, Karen thinks although still quite unsure of exactly why he’s calling her. All that aside her heart is flooded with happiness, when she realises her son is not out of breath from running or crying, but rather all the emotions he must be feeling.

“Aw, Jake. I’m so happy for you. I know how much she means to you.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Yeah… You’ve changed so much throughout your relationship with Amy and it’s only for the better. You were already wonderful, you’re my son after all, but she brings out so much more good in you. This was only a matter of time. I think you’ve loved her for longer than you think.”

Another silence allows the crashing waves and whistling night wind to make an appearance. Following words almost fall off his lips in a tremble but Karen can tell it’s because he’s moved and is trying to collect himself, his emotions and thoughts. This is a big step for him - she knows.

“I have. And I don’t think I wanna stop again.”

Their talk lasts a few more minutes; just long enough for Jake to explain that he couldn’t sleep, too excited about the fact that he loved Amy Santiago and, even better, she loved him! Instead of staying in bed, restless and thus risking waking up Amy, he’d carefully disentangled himself from his girlfriend’s grip and decided to go for a night stroll. Next thing he knew he was calling his mom’s number.

“I should probably go, mom. I don’t want Amy to wake up alone.”

They say their goodbyes and when Karen finally gets to meet his daughter-in-law a few weeks later, at Jake’s chaotic birthday dinner, she is even more sure: their golden thread is so very strong.

Moving in together

The first time Karen visits Jake and Amy’s apartment (the words still make his stomach twist and turn with excitement every time he says it or even thinks it), Amy is out getting groceries for the dinner they’ll all be preparing together.

Jake proudly gives his mom a full apartment tour explaining where he’s added his Peralta-touch to the household while still praising his girlfriend’s taste in interior design. She has to laugh at the huge Die Hard poster discreetly hung on the inside of their closet door. Framed pictures of the couple together hung and standing around the apartment only makes Karen’s heart melt even more.

“How are you guys liking living together so far?”

They’re in the kitchen, Jake is preparing them both a cup of coffee.

“I mean, we already took constant turns crashing at the other’s place so it doesn’t feel that brand new, but still…” he pauses to smile and pours his mother a hot cup of freshly brewed coffee before continuing. “This is so much better. We share a home now. She is officially my home now, yanno?”

“I’m proud of you, Jakey,” Karen playfully ruffles her son’s curly hair, something she rarely gets to do but still immensely enjoys every time. It reminds her of when he was still a little kid and hits her with just how far he’s become. She’s not just proud: she’s so proud.

“Plus, now I get to annoy her 24/7, which is great,” he laughs and Karen playfully pinches his ear.

“Be nice to her, Jacob,” she’s chuckling too.

“I am! Our relationship is practically built on a foundation of pestering and messing with each other. Trust me; she loves it.”

Prison

“Amy… I miss her so much.”

As if the fact that her son has been wrongly accused and is facing 15 years in prison isn’t agonizing enough, Karen also has to suffer the pain it causes her to hear her son cry out to her over the very rare phone calls they get these days.

“When I say I’m afraid of never getting out of here-” he heaves between fallen, sobbed words; sobbed words which Karen knows he tries to subdue in order to not show the other inmates weakness. But it’s hard; impossible. “It’s mostly because I’m afraid of not seeing her again. Every time she visits-,” a sniffle “I’m always afraid that it’s the last time I see her. And all I wanna do is kiss her and hold her, but i just- I can’t. I miss her so so much, mom.”

Karen’s heart breaks alongside her son’s, even hours and miles between them, tears rolling down her red cheeks. She knows she has to be strong for him, and that it’s harder for him than for herself. Denying the ache and fear in every cell of her body is impossible though… But she has to keep her head up for him.

“It’ll be okay, honey,” Karen forces herself to stop crying when she speaks and will instead let the tears fall freely whenever he can’t hear it. “The squad is doing everything they can to get you out.”

“I know... “ he takes a deep breath and Karen can tell he’s trying to collect himself for good this time. “H-how is she?”

For a split second Karen considers lying, not telling him that she’s spent multiple nights consoling a crying Amy and even sleeping over at their place when the young woman was too tired to take care of herself. She considers telling him she’s fine, but she knows it’s pointless: Jake and Amy are two open books who tell each other everything. Just like Amy knows Jake has never been more afraid and seeks hope in every second he gets to be with or even just talk to her, Jake knows Amy is struggling though she’s a trooper and tries to fight through it as seamlessly as possible.

“I visited her on Wednesday and…” Karen bites her lip but eventually a sigh escapes her. “You know how she feels... It’s hard for both of you. But she’s strong, honey and she manages. And on the days where she can’t, I’m there with her. I promise.”

Silence.

He’s holding back tears again.

“I love you both, mom. So so much. You two are what is going to get me through this.”

“I love you too, Jacob.”

Their golden thread might be strained, but now is time for it to show its strength.

Engaged

He can’t put it into words, at least not properly, because how does one describe how it feels to be the happiest man alive? How does one describe such a wide, complex, incredible range of emotions? It’s impossible.

Instead he settles for a text.

It’s truly comical but also very much them: a picture of Amy in the evidence locker, still partially crying although of course also smiling as she shows off the shiny ring on her finger. It’s followed by the message:

‘MOM, I’M MARRYING HER!!!’

Later that night, tipsy after celebrating at Shaw’s, Jake and Amy facetime Karen. It’s safe to say that she gets a good laugh at 3-drink Amy showing off her new, favorite bling while Jake is all over her, placing small kisses to various parts of her face.

“Okay, you two... I’m going to hang up before this goes beyond a PG-rating. Once again congratulations. I love you both and can’t wait to see you soon.”

Married

Bomb threats, ruined cakes and a lost veil are just a few of the things that go horribly wrong on Jake and Amy’s wedding day.

Now, a few weeks later, all these tiny disasters seem to be long forgotten, almost as if they’d never happened.

“... But in the end we’re married and that’s all that matters,” Jake finishes telling his mother the tale of their chaotic but incredibly beautiful and unique wedding which was followed by a PG-rated version of their trip to Mexico.

The three of them are taking up the space of Karen’s living room as they chat and drink their usual coffee. Jake’s arm is slung around his new wife’s shoulders, fingers interlaced with a happiness and peace that warms the mother’s heart. Compared to the anxiety and sadness they all experienced during Jake’s time in Florida and then later on in prison, this moment in time is a major contrast. It’s a moment which Karen at times had feared she’d never be able to witness ever again. Yet here they were, the three of them together in the same room and Jake looked happier than ever. He was married to the love of his life, showing off a warm glow that he could thank both happiness and the Mexican sun for.

“I’m so happy for you two. It was always meant to be this way.”

Karen beams just as much as the married couple, feeding off the pure bliss they display in each other’s company. Amy perks up at the comment growing curious.

“Always?” she questions with a smile.

“The second he told me that the new girl was “pretty cool”, I knew something was meant to happen.”

Jake feels blood rushing to his cheeks even though said new girl is now his wife.

“Aw, babe,” Amy turns to him flashing a teasing grin. Every opportunity to tease must be put to good use. “I can’t believe you’ve been into me for so long. How embarrassing for you.”

“Hey!” He whines and it’s clear to see that he’s trying to fight the blush and embarrassment alas it’s already way too late. ”Be nice to your husband, Mrs. Peralta.”

“Not my fault that you’re so into me, Mr. Peralta.”

There’s a short pause in the conversation where Jake realises there’s no way out unless he uses her own teasing ways against her.

“I’m a lucky man… I guess,” he counters playfully and it earns him a just as playful slap to the shoulder.

“You guess?”

Amy is quick to pull away  although doesn’t allow their fingers to untangle while she sends him a mock-pout.

“Be nice, Jake.”

Karen loves her son but will also, at any given time, take Amy’s side before his. Jake came to learn this the second he introduced the two women and they started gossiping about him. He would care to mind if it wasn’t for the fact that there was nothing better than his two favorite women getting along so well.

“I’m joking, babe,” he loses no time and before Amy can add anything he’s pulled her back into the nook of his arm, adding a kiss the top of her head - just for good measure (and because he’s crazy about her). “I’m the luckiest man alive.”

Their golden thread has tied an everlasting knot.

Trying

Jake and Amy trying for a baby had been such a joyous announcement, and Karen will never forget the proud look on her son’s face the day he told her. Although tonight, said proud and happy expression is long gone, forgotten and dissolved by the many months of planning, trying and holding on to their hope.

Jake is once again, as so many times before, on his mother’s sand-colored couch with warm coffee in hand but this time with a look of despair painted across his pale face. While she’s been getting cookies in the kitchen he’s fallen into deep thought and doesn’t say anything for a while. Even after she comes back and sits down across from him. The silence might be needed, Karen thinks and, of course, respects it. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t shake her to the core when the next thing he says seems to question every ounce of happiness he’s ever lived.

“What if all along I’ve been the wrong choice? A bad choice.”

His eyes doesn’t budge from the same spot, an old coffee stain on the couch, he’s been staring emptily at for the past minutes. Even as he speaks.

“What if she was supposed to be with someone else. Someone who can give her the family she wants… the family she deserves.”

It doesn’t even sound like a question at this point but rather a horrible fact he states in a moment of frustration and agony, and it ignites a fury within the mother because she knows it’s his anxiety and fear of abandonment speaking. She knows that their love is way bigger than that.

Things are far from easy right now. On the other hand Karen hasn’t witnessed them fight and overcome every obstacle imaginable, everything from a stupid mattress to being sent away to both Florida and prison, only to come to this. This isn’t the tip of the thread. A golden thread isn’t spun without reason. It’s spun for the fated.

“Has Amy ever made a bad choice?” she asks.

For the first time in a long time Jake actually looks at his mom. He pauses but she knows he doesn’t have to think. Karen knows that in his eyes Amy can do no wrong.

“No… I just-”

“Okay, so do you honestly think that her wanting and fighting for a baby with you is a bad choice? Even if it doesn’t come easy.”

There’s another silence, longer this time, which hopefully means that something resonates inside his head even though Karen knows it’s a dark and confusing place right now.

“No, I guess…”

“No, don’t say “you guess”. You know, Jake Peralta. You love Amy and she loves you. I know it seems like life keeps on throwing you curveballs and I wish it wasn’t so, but trust me when I say that it’s not because it’s a wrong or bad choice. You being with Amy is the best, most right doing I’ve ever witnessed, and I’m so proud of it. Stop doubting yourself. Your love is too good for that. You’re too good for that, honey.”

Her voice had started out a bit rough, just to make sure to get her point across, but by her the last sentence it has grown soft like butter and Jake can’t help but fall into his mother’s arms. He knows she’s right and it’s in moments like these that, moments where he wants to give up, he’s glad to have her to fight off his demons.

“I just want to give her everything she deserves, mom,” he mumbles into her shoulder, still holding on for dear life; so closely that Karen swears she can feel his heart breaking against her chest. “And I know I’ve been hesitant about it in the past, but now I just-”

Karen feels him let go of her and straighten his back. His eyes are shiny and there’s so much hope but also hurt in them.

“... I really want to be a dad. I really do. And then I wanna do it right.”

Karen knows what he’s hinting at and the sentiment is so valid even though she’s back together with Roger and their father-son relationship has grown stronger.  

“You will be, honey. One way or another,” she whispers and reaches out to stroke his cheek. “And you will be the best. I promise you.”

Pregnant

Mother knows best, Jake can’t help but think on the magical evening Amy tells him the best thing he’s ever heard: she’s pregnant. The world seems to flourish around him like never before.

Of course the first person he wants to tell is his mom, but him and Amy quickly agree on keeping the amazing news to themselves, or at least until their baby has hit the safety that the 12-week mark comes along with.

Until then Jake and Amy plan on how to break the news to Karen (and Roger, of course) and Jake almost can’t believe it when the day finally arrives. Their 12-week check was just yesterday, and to everyone’s relief and joy their baby is growing as they should and thriving in their mother’s womb. They both shed a tear and ask for an extra set of ultrasound pictures to give to the future grandparents - both on his and Amy’s side.  

During dinner with Karen and Roger the following day, Jake is on the verge of bursting, yelling out the news the very second his parents arrive. Although a humbling squeeze of the hand from his wife keeps him in check until dessert. Here the hand squeeze feels different and Jake knows now is the time.

“By the way,” Jake gets up and heads to the kitchen to get another tub of ice cream. “We have a little extra surprise for dessert…”

Roger and Karen frown in unison as both of them are yet to finish what’s already in their respective bowls. Jake ignores it and comes back with a tub of…

“Lime ice cream?” Roger asks, clearly confused by the very specific flavour.

“I didn’t even know that was a thing,” Karen chuckles, always being the one to lighten the mood.

“Well,” Jake smiles with content as he sits back down. “I promise you: you don’t wanna skip this part. It’s the best.”

And so of course Karen is quickly hands on, pulls off the lid and is ready to dig in with her spoon but halts the second she gets to take a good look at the bucket’s content: a small piece of paper. Neither her or Roger understand a thing, and being too preoccupied by their confusion they fail to notice the wide grins on the other couple’s faces.

Karen takes the leap and digs out the picture quickly noticing something scribbled onto it with neat handwriting - Amy’s, of course.

Hi, grandma and grandpa. I’m now 12 weeks old and the size of a lime! I can’t wait to meet you <3

Karen feels her heart skip a bit, maybe even stop entirely for multiple seconds and looks to Jake and Amy for some kind of approval or… she’s not even sure of what. All she’s sure of is that she’s on the brim of exploding. Her son nods biting down on his bottom lip in excitement, and when she flips the piece of paper she’s met by the most wonderful picture she’s ever seen: their future grandchild, tiny as can be, in black and white, and completely perfect.

Karen tears her eyes away from her grandchild to look at her son to be met by his almost trembling voice and shiny eyes.  

“Good thing my mom was right when she told me that I would be a dad some day.”

Jake’s eyes are so sincere with tears threatening to spill as he holds his mother’s gaze talking directly to her, and it’s safe to say there’s waterfall’s worth of happy tears that evening.

Welcoming mac

The day Mac is born Jake feels as if his heart is suddenly beating and living outside of his chest in the shape of his son. There’s so much love even before their son officially arrives, but nothing can possibly top the feeling of holding him in his arms feeling the infant’s hand wraps around Jake’s thumb. Love is shooting through the roof and up to the moon. Never before has Jake felt so much love for someone’s he’s just met before and it’s scary in the best way.

He’s sitting in an armchair by Amy’s hospital bed, his wife fast asleep after the most exhausting hours of her life, when the door to their room pops open. He doesn’t even bother looking up at first as he’s too busy gazing lovingly at the bundle of love in his arms.

“Oh my goodness.”

Jake head perks up immediately recognizing the sound of his mother’s voice. By now she’s closing the door behind her, quietly.

“Hi, mom. Come say hi.”

Karen can hear his smittenness in his voice and sits down on a smaller chair next to him to better see her brand new grandson. It’s immediately clear as day that the newest Peralta is the perfect mix of both parents. Chubby cheeks, dark hair, full lips and a nose she’s gonna want to kiss over and over again.

“Meet McClane. Mac for short,” Jake informs her stroking his son’s chubby cheek.

“It’s perfect,” Karen clucks and follows suit stroking Mac’s other cheek. “He’s beautiful, honey. You must be so proud. I know I am.”

For various obvious reasons Jake has always struggled with acknowledging pride - even when he’s clearly felt it, he’s found it difficult to say it out loud or fully believe it. Today is different though and he wants to scream it from the rooftops: he’s so freaking proud of his beautiful baby son and his incredible wife.

He smiles fondly as he nods in agreement.

“I really am, mom. Proud of myself but especially of Amy. I’ll explain it further later but I Amy went into labor at the precinct, I was out helping with the blackout and almost missed the birth. I just barely got there before Mac was born and Amy managed everything like a pro. I can’t believe I’ve made a human with her. She’s the best… I’m so lucky.”

Jake looks at Karen sensing that she’s going to speak.

“I can’t imagine any other person for you than her, and together you’ve formed a beautiful little family, honey. One to be very proud of, so don’t forget to give in to that feeling, okay?”

Karen hand travels from sleeping Mac’s cheek to her son’s curly hair, on a mission to stroke it like she always would when he was a child and it prompts Jake to lean his head onto her shoulder. From his new vantage point he looks back at Mac, then Amy.

They’re his whole world, his two ends meeting and Karen can only sit by to admire the scene before her. Never has Karen felt more sure of the fact that there was always one single thread of gold tying Jake to Amy.

(And Mac).

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Broken Like Me: The Party

Summary: Dean and the reader attend his agency’s annual party where they run into a not so friendly face...

Masterlist

Pairing: Model!Dean x reader

Word Count: 2,700ish

Warnings: language, small fight

A/N: Enjoy!...

_____

“Wow,” said Dean as you stepped out of the hotel bathroom. “Wow, sweetheart.”

“Is it bad?” you asked. He shook his head and stepped over with a big smile.

“It’s amazing. You look beautiful and hot and sexy and I just want to take that dress right off of you,” he chuckled.

“Considering the amount of time Carla spent finding this for me, I think she’d kill you,” you said. “How’s my back look?”

“As beautiful as the rest of you,” he said, touching a hand to your bare skin. It was an open back dress and far more risqué than you had any right to be wearing. Dean trailed his fingers over the faded scars covering the skin there. “I packed the emergency dress just in case.”

“Thank you,” you said with a smile. “But I’m okay. I love this dress and if your model friends have a problem with my scars, then fuck them.”

“That’s my girl,” he said, kissing your cheek. “I can’t wait to show you off.”

“Or we could skip this agency party thing and go to a nice dinner instead and then come back here and get naked?” you said.

“That is incredibly tempting but we flew all the way out here for Carla,” he said.

“I know,” you sighed.

“It’ll be okay. I promise.”

“Y/N, is that you?” said Carla when you got to the party. “Dean must be drooling.”

“Yes, he is,” you laughed, getting a hug from her, Dean getting his own.

“How you doing babe? Getting along with your parents? That goes for both of you,” she said.

“Yes, mom,” teased Dean. “It’s been pretty good. Y/N’s parents gave her her trust fund back. With interest.”

“To which we promptly decided to leave it be for kids and future weddings and all that stuff. Dean and I have plenty between our jobs,” you said.

“Well I’ve never worried about you two and money. So you’re doing better with your parents still?” asked Carla.

“Yeah. It’s a little awkward sometimes still. They grovel a little bit,” you said.

“They’re trying their best,” said Dean. “Excuse me ladies, I think I see a friend over there.”

“How’s he and his dad really doing? It’s like pulling teeth sometimes,” she said.

“John is going to Dr. Bram every other week,” you said.

“Really?”

“Yeah. John’s got a whole bunch of crap he’s gone through apparently. He’s still not a fan of going but he does it for Dean,” you said.

“It sounds like things are calming down for you two finally,” she said.

“Hopefully. We could do with some quiet,” you said.

“I take it you haven’t started wedding planning yet then,” she teased.

“My mom is looking at professional planners for us so that’s a joy,” you said.

“Want me to say anything?” she asked.

“No mom,” you laughed. “I’ll calm her down if she gets too wound up. Dean and I love each other. There’s no need to rush into a wedding.”

“A wedding is honestly just another day in your relationship, sweetie. It’s a very happy day where you celebrate your love for each other with friends and family. But in the end, it’s a day. You love him and the babe is head over heels in love with you. You’re young. Take the time to make it what you want it to be,” she said.

“Do you think I’ll ever get to the point where my mom would say something like that?” you asked.

“I think so. Dean and his father...I thought about coming to pay John a visit more than once and give him a piece of my mind. But now, they seem to be healing that relationship. I’m sure if you’re patient with them, you’ll get there.”

“I hope so,” you said.

“Well when I met you, you never would have been caught dead in a dress like that,” she said. “I think you got this.”

“Well the scars on my face and arms and chest are gone,” you said.

“Your back is actually not what I was expecting,” she said.

“I got a better scar cream,” you smiled. “A whole lot cheaper than laser surgery.”

“Dean ever offer to pay? He can plenty afford it,” she said.

“He brings it up now and again. He makes so much he doesn’t need. He just puts it out there that he would help if I choose to get rid of the rest,” you said. “A majority of the time though, the only person who ever seems them is Dean though so it doesn’t matter. I tell him to put the money towards something he wants.”

“Looks like what he wants right now is you to come save him,” she said, Dean looking like he was pleading with you to get over there. You walked over with a smile, Dean easing a little as you stopped at his side.

“So is this the farm girl that you gave up Calvin Klein for?” said a guy in a white suit, the other guy with them walking away.

“Down girl,” said Dean when you opened your mouth. “This is Kyle.”

“I think she was ready to tear my throat out,” laughed Kyle. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“Dean doesn’t speak kindly of many of his model friends. But Kyle Kendricks is always okay with me,” you said.

“I told you I’d win her over,” said Kyle.

“Yeah well you’re a loser so it’s not too hard,” chuckled Dean.

“I don’t think those pictures Dean posts of you did you justice, Y/N,” he said.

“Always a suck up,” you said. “Hey, how’d that shoot for the baby food go?”

“Didn’t happen. Super weird. I was ready to sign the contract and everything and apparently the owners themselves said they got somebody else in mind,” he said.

“Was it Gerber?” asked Dean.

“Nah, the other one,” he said. “I don’t have the new dad look they were going for.”

“Considering you do alcohol commercials, probably not,” teased Dean. 

“You been keeping him out of trouble lately?” asked Kyle.

“I do my best...unless of course I’m the one causing it.”

“You should come visit us sometime. We got great barbecue,” said Dean.

“I’m on a diet,” grumbled Kyle.

“Why?” you asked. 

“Calvin Kline contract is going up soon. Michael Reyburn is apparently more trouble than he’s worth,” said Kyle. Dean nodded and Kyle gave him a smile. “Dude I know it was your gig and-“

“I had it for all of five seconds,” he said. “It’s a lot of money if you can swing it. Just be careful bud.”

“Maybe I’ll stick with beer,” he said, getting a tap on the shoulder from a man. “I’ll talk to you guys later.”

“The way you described him you would think the man has a pocket protector and grandpa pants,” you said.

“Kyle’s a nerd. We always stuck together. That other guy was Jack Bilson. He’s besties with Reyburn so-“

“Also a dick. Good to know,” you said. “So how long do we have to be here?”

“An hour tops. I promise.”

“Well hello,” said a deep voice. You spun around from where you were eating a tiny piece of lobster on a cracker, the man chuckling at you. “That is a hell of a dress.”

“Thanks,” you said, your mouth full.

“You’re Dean Winchester’s charity case, right? Or maybe he’s yours.”

“I can see why they’re going with another model, Michael. Must be pretty hard to fill out those shorts with what you’re packing,” you said, getting a few laughs out of people close by.

“Sweetie you ought to see what a real man is like.”

“Then why the hell am I talking to you?”

“Never been with someone who looks like they beat a lawnmower in a fight,” he said. You smiled and glanced down, grabbing another snack and popping it in your mouth. “Do you ever stop eating?”

“Michael. Try therapy for why ever it is you’re so angry and leave me and Dean the Hell alone,” you said.

“Said the freak show,” he said.

“Reyburn,” said Dean as he came over, stepping in front of you. 

“Oh look, fatty’s here,” he said. Dean clenched his fist and you stood between them.

“Kindly apologize and leave,” you said.

He started to laugh and you got in his face.

“I literally pulled myself from a burning car only to then find myself bleeding out on the side of the road. You know what you do when that happens, Michael? You make a decision and I made the decision to shove my own fingers inside my rib cage to squeeze an artery shut. Do you know how much that hurts, Michael? Do you know what it’s like to sit there, putting yourself in excruciating pain just so you have a chance at living? No. No you don’t. I am very good at dealing with shit and that includes you. Now apologize, please, and stay away from him. Or else.”

“I see who wears the pants in the relationship,” said Kyle.

��I see who isn’t in a relationship,” you said. Michael narrowed his eyes and stormed off. You ate another cracker, turning to Dean. “This is so good. You got to try it.”

“You never talk about your accident,” he said.

“Because I don’t remember half of it,” you said. “Come on. He’s a douchebag. I want to go dance with my very handsome fiancé.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“I am so glad to be out of there,” you said when you were back in the hotel room.

“Remind me not to accept next year,” he said, shrugging out of his suit jacket and heading straight into the bathroom.

“You alright?” you called as you stepped out of your heels. You didn’t hear anything and undressed, walking into the bathroom naked and taking your hair out of its bun. “Mr. Winchester…”

“What?” he said grumpily before he spun around.

“What’s wrong, De?” you asked. He looked you over and rested his hand on your right side, tracing over the long scar there.

“You’re beautiful and I can’t defend you because I’m...this,” he said, glancing down at his body.

“I don’t need a man to defend me. He was bullying me and my best friend. I will always stand up for us,” you said. “My handsome and healthy soon to be husband.”

“Why would you even want me?” he asked.

“Because I love you,” you hummed, giving him a smile. He rolled his eyes and turned away.

“I’m gonna shower. You mind?” he asked.

“Alright,” you sighed. You left and went back to the bedroom, changing into a pair of shorts and one of his shirts. You flipped through the room service menu and ordered some fries and a brownie, listening for Dean to be done with his shower.

When it was still going by the time the food got there though, you went back in.

“Dean. I ordered a late night snack if you want some,” you said.

“I’m not hungry, sweetheart,” he said. You sighed and opened up the steamed up shower door. “What the hell?”

“It has been an hour. You never take showers this long unless you’re upset,” you said.

“I’m not upset,” he said. You stared at him and he groaned, turning off the water. He brushed past you for his towel and you rolled your eyes, going back to the room and nibbling at the food. He didn’t say anything as he came in a minute later, taking his clothes with him to the bathroom to change.

“Since when are we shy in front of each other?” you asked. Dean shook his head and went over to his suitcase, folding his suit nicely. “Silent treatment, very mature.”

“What is your problem? I want to be left alone,” he said, shoving the suit down.

“Tough shit,” you said as you knelt up on the bed. “I care about you and right now, I get the feeling I care a hell of a lot more about you than you do yourself so until further notice, I’m in charge.”

“You’re in charge? Of what?” he scoffed.

“Get in the bed.”

“Make me.”

You stared at him, Dean crossing his arms. You stood up and walked over to him, getting in his face.

“You gonna push me?”

“If you don’t want to talk then at the very least you can indulge me and go lay down on the damn bed,” you said.

He glanced down and went back to his suit, fixing it before he went to a side of the bed and sat down. You went right next to him, Dean stiff until you shifted behind him, wrapping your legs and arms around him.

“What are you doing?”

“Hugging you,” you mumbled against his shoulder.

“Do you remember that night I missed our date? I went to Dr. Bram’s and was a complete mess?” he asked.

“I remember you had a bad night,” you said. He put one of his hands over yours and held onto your arms.

“Part of that night was because of the model that got the contract after me. Reyburn. He made some nasty comments. I thought I was over it but apparently not,” he said.

“Dean. Yes, Michael Reyburn is a physically fit person and yes he is physically attractive. He’s also a horribly ugly person. He’s disgusting and mean. You on the other hand are the kind of person that made someone like me, someone so beaten down from a lifetime of crap, feel happy and beautiful and loved. You’re the most attractive person I’ll ever meet, Dean. The way you look on the outside, everything else, that’s just a bonus, De.”

He looked over his shoulder at you, peeling your arms away so he could turn and kiss you.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“S’okay,” you said. You ran your fingers through his short strands, Dean curling into the touch. “They had cheese fries. I got them just for you.”

“I really should watch what I eat,” he said.

“You had a salad for lunch and we skipped dinner. I say it’s okay, Dean,” you said. “It’s got bacon-“

“That should have been your opener, sweetheart,” he chuckled. You gave him another kiss and hug before you let him go to the table and bring over the food. “I’m sorry Michael was such a pig to you.”

“Well he sounds like he has his own issues to work out,” you said. “Forget him. I also had a great idea while you were in the shower.”

“What’s that?”

“Instead of flying home, want to do a road trip? Hit up some of those places you see on the food channel on our way back?” you asked.

“So no flight and awesome food? I’m sold,” he said. “What about work?”

“I have a lot of unused vacation time. It’ll be fun. We’ve both been busy lately,” you said. “What do you say?”

“I say I’m going to marry a little genius,” he said. He kissed your nose and started to eat, the two of you quiet for a while, your head leaning on his shoulder when you finished. “Y/N.”

“Mhm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

______

[believerindaydreams]

Me: omg this took forever to get to the action scenes

Me: whoo

Me: think I'll let this sit for a few days and then do the a03 post

Into the fire part 9

"Colonel Hsu. Sir."

Not sure what he wants to see me for. The Colonel's a busy man, with more to think about than two former soldiers leaving town.

"Boone, is it? I understand you were a good soldier. First Recon."

"Yessir."

He sighs; the kind of tired patience you get from a man who's seen too much and been awake too long. "I have to understand it that you're intending to leave the Mojave. Would you be planning to return to the NCR?"

"...that's not my intention. Sir."

He looks you dead-on. "It is my regretful duty to inform you that, as per the orders of Brigadier Cassandra Moore, your discharge has been cancelled and you are henceforth recalled to this base. No duties have been assigned to you at this present time."

Can't have heard that right. "I never reenlisted, sir.'

"I'm aware of that. But given the impending Legion situation, the NCR can't afford to let manpower stand idle. I'll tell the same to Vargas, when he comes in."

"Yessir. Am I dismissed?"

The Colonel's frowning. "Forgive me for saying so, but you don't seem to be very quick on the uptake. Care for a smoke?"

I take one, have it lit before remembering I'm giving it up. Too late.

"You could," Colonel Hsu says softly. "You could ask me how many people have been recalled like this. The answer might surprise you."

"How many, sir?"

"Just two. And I think you know the other one." He lights a cigarette of his own. "You might be curious to know what was important enough to fast-track Moore's promotion over my head. Or that she's left a standing order with me to contact her immediately upon concluding a conversation of this nature."

"Sir. If the NCR needs the manpower this badly-"

"Don't you have a wife? A pregnant one, I believe?"

The Colonel rubs his forehead with his knuckles. "I...am doing my best not to overstep my authority and my oaths. But more important than either, as far as I'm concerned, is my men. Still. If you're actually satisfied with this situation-"

The door swings open, hard, as though it's been kicked.

Arcade. Not the way I've ever seen him; he's dressed in stark black, holorifle at the ready, and his face is flushed like he's on Med-X. Maybe a few other things.

I've seen him at the Sierra Madre, and the Legion camp. I've seen him be frightened

What I'm looking at is cold-blooded.

"Colonel Hsu. I order you to stand down and surrender your prisoner."

"May I ask under whose authority?"

"Enclave."

The word drifts across the room like smoke; and there's no taking it back.

Maybe I shouldn't trust him. Maybe I never should have. An agent- spying with the Legion- and I've spilled my guts to him- "Where's my wife? Where's Manny?"

"Already evacuated. You're the last one."

And that makes it simple. Doesn't matter if I'm a traitor the moment I walk out that door, if the whole NCR army is ready to gun me down; everything I care about, I can only get back by following Arcade.

I can always gun him down once I see they're safe. Or if they're not.

"Don't let me hold you up, then," Colonel Hsu says.

There's a tiny smile on his face.

I don't need to understand what's going on here, to know I don't like it.

*****

"Look. I do have to close the shop eventually, you know."

Not good news, because Arcade told me to get Carla to the Westside Co-Op and not move once we got there. And after the trip here, crawling through the dirt and blowing hell out of anything that even twitched the wrong way, I really don't feel like another journey.

Carla is ignoring everything, cross legged on the floor and knitting. I think it's keeping her calm. "Look, this is important. Arcade Gannon told us to stay here, it's important Follower business."

"Never heard the name, I'm afraid. If you could leave, come back tomorrow-"

I don't know what I would have done next- refused to budge, probably- but the door swings open, and it's finally the duo I'm hoping for.

"Boone!"

And I wrap him in a bear hug. Still alive. Not visibly wounded. Maybe a bit startled.

"All right, we're here," Boone growls at Arcade. "Answers, now."

"Not in here," the exasperated clerk says. "Out. We're closed."

So that's how we end up on the street, drifting down a Westside alley in search of a place to sleep. It's too late to head for Freeside even if Carla was up for it.

Though right now she'd probably say yes to a trip to the moon. "You have no idea how much I missed you. Oh, Boone..."

"Nice to see you too," he says, voice softened. "But- what the hell? One minute I'm talking with the Colonel, next thing I know I'm being goddamn kidnapped."

That's weird. "Didn't you show him the sealed orders?"

Arcade shakes his head. "No time. There really wasn't at Camp McCarran, and then...well, let's just say we weren't talking for most of the trip here. You're going to have to explain it, Manny, because I don't think he'll believe anything I say right now."

"....okay. Well. To begin with, Spades was dicking around on the Major's terminal, trying to guess what they'd be doing next. Like he does."

"Yeah?"

"Not when you're around. We all thought you'd pop a stitch over it."

"Get on with it," Boone says, not unbending an inch.

"Okay. The Major had a set of sealed orders that he hadn't been able to crack, and I suggested Arcade, and everyone said great, let's see what it is. You know what those orders were? Fucking Cassandra Moore saying that the minute he could get word to either you or me, do it, get the whole unit back together, and then send the whole of First Recon back to Shady Sands. By Vertibird, no less."

"So what?"

You can drag a Boone to Lake Mead but you can't make him drink. "So? Betsy and Spades took off before you could say jump, they're going AWOL who knows where. Bitter stayed on because he's a stubborn fuck who won't leave his dad, and Sterling said he's old enough to chance it, which I bet they'll both regret-"

"For the love of- stop it," Boone says, crossing his arms. "I'm not moving one more step until I know what's going on."

"Boone, it wasn't going to be spelled out in words," Carla says gently. "But- there was the dating. Arcade said it matched up to not long after the Cottonwood Cove massacre."

"Is that what they called it?" Arcade asks. "You have to remember, they didn't exactly leave radios lying around at the Legion slave camp."

"...so you don't know it was all over the radio, or that Mr New Vegas was telling everyone about the NCR victories that nobody at McCarran had ordered," I say. "Boone. You fucking changed the shape of the war single handed, and the NCR figured out who did it, and they want you back."

"And if I thought it would be for any reason that could possibly end well for you," Arcade says tiredly, "I wouldn't have burned every bridge I have in the Mojave, by claiming to be Enclave. By the way, Carla, thanks for the fabric. You were right about the safety pins."

Boone takes his sunglasses off.

"That wasn't me," he says, voice distant. "I mean, it was, but- that was the Stealth Boys I found at Repconn. If I'd tried it bare-handed I would have plain died."

"...I don't think they're going to believe that," Carla says. "I think NCR is going to pin their hopes of ending this war on First Recon giving them the perfect killing machine, and that's why half your old unit deserted, and that's why we really, really need to leave the Mojave as soon as we can."

"Unless you really want to repeat the performance and head to the Legion camp again," Arcade mutters. "They'll be happy to see you, I daresay."

"I don't know what to believe anymore."

Desert's turning cold with night, now.

Who knows where we'll be by morning.

[nellaesarts]

Fairy Tail & The Paragande Kingdom - Chapter 1

NEXT CHAPTER

X795 - Not far from Magnolia, Kingdom of Fiore

“Pog… Slow down, Pog, I can’t follow your rythm anymore…”

Pog turned and looked at the woman who called out to him. The creature took a few steps back to join her with a worried look. She was looking definitely out of any energy. She was leaning against a tree near by, out of view thanks to the bushes around.

“*Alex… Don’t give up, please… There are only a few kilometers left before we reach a town… I can feel it from here*.” He said with a concerned voice.

The called Alex layed here eyes on her Chosen. A smooth smile appeared on her lips. 

“I’m sorry… I can’t make it, my dear. But you… Fly, my friend. You still have enough energy to run away. So, fly. They will be satisfied with me.”

The magic being launched a desperate look to his Linked One, who quickly sank into unconsciousness. The panic started to reach Pog’s mind. And now ? What should he do ? They were still far from the following town and their pursuers were maybe just a few miles away at most. The little creature curled up against her friend while he started to shake. He might be endowed with some powers, they were particularly useless in this kind of situation… He was unable to give her energy and could do nothing to substitute to a good sleep… So, he could only wait, and hope that Alexandria recharge her batteries before they arrived. He squeezed himself tighter against the girl, enlarging his senses, hoping for being able to feel anyone arriving near them before they could see her. He could maybe protect her at this moment. Eh, if he wasn’t so small. If he wasn’t so weak. But so far away from their original land, in this absolutely unknown country, the future seemed suddenly so dark… The creature ended by letting himself go, simply enlarging his hearing and his perception as far as he can to pick up any presence. He found himself thinking that maybe the future presence could be a helping one, who knows ? 

*****

“Lucyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ! I’m hungryyyyyyyyyyyy why didn’t you want to stop to catch some of these shiny fishes ? They looked soooooooo tastyyyyyyyyy !”

Lucy immediately made a sound between a sigh and a rale at the plaintive voice of the blue Exceed. She turned herself to the flying cat with a slightly bored look.

“I told you we miss time, Happy, she says with an impatient tone. We have to be back at the Guild tonight. 

– But Lucy, I’m hungry too… We really can’t stop ? Insisted Natsu, like he was at the death’s door, launching a begging look to his friend.

The Celestial mage rolled her eyes and accelerate her walk with a sulky appearance, liking better to ignore her mates. Erza, who was walking lightly behind the trio with Carla and Wendy, called out to the salamander and his friend with her usual strict way.

– Shut up, you two ! Lucy already told you that we don’t have the time to stop. We have to come back the faster we can.

– Aye Erzaaaaaaaaaa” answering both Natsu and Happy in the same voice, resigned.

Wendy and Clara maded some amused smiles. These two definitely couldn’t opposing themselves to the Knight Mage, whatever she said.

The team came back from a mission in Bosco’s Country which was a real success. The town where the mission happened was not destroyed this time and they get all the reward back. In fact, that was not new nor an exception, but since some months, the small team really needed this kind of little victories to keep their chin up. Because the absence of one of them was a bit too heavy for them, from now on. By the way, the happiness of the group quickly faded away after the little argument and everyone seemed to sink into their own thoughts.

They continued their walk in silence during some long minutes on this forest road, until Happy’s little voice’s broke this heavy calm :

“Hey… Do you think Gray will be going on a new mission with us soon ?”

The company immediately stopped and all looked at each other with serious eyes. What could they answer to such a question ? Finally, Erza was the one who chose to respond to the Exceed.

“We can’t know when he’ll come back, Happy. The mourning is different for each of us and Juvia’s lost affected him more than anyone else, you know. He could come back tomorrow as in a few months or in some years. Who knows when he’ll feel better about that ?

– Yah I know, but still, that happened many months ago already… 

– STOP !

Natsu’s loud voice suddenly freezes all the group, who turned to him instantly.  

– What’s happening, Natsu ? asked Lucy with a troubled voice. Are you smelling something ?

– Yeah, and I don’t know what it is. That seems like magic, but… That’s a smelI I never smelt before. And that seems to head right to us ! Be careful !”

At his words, the entire group put themselves in fight mode ; Erza’s swords appears in her sides, Lucy brandish Taurus’ key, ready to open his door if needed, Wendy and Natsu raised their fists and the Exceeds chose to go up to check if they could see where the danger could come from. All were ready to fight. During some long seconds, there was absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. Until some little sounds came from the bushes. The group’s members turned themselves to the sounds, and the time seems to go like an eternity. They were all under pressure, waiting to know what was going to happened...What was behind these bushes ? 

The answer had… An unexpected form. Under their astonished eyes, a tiny creature had got out of the bushes. That was a mix between a red panda and a fox, ornamented by some magical symbols on its fur. A strange aura was emanating from it. All the team had put down their weapons at this view, because this creature definitively doesn’t look aggressive at all. 

“Huh… What kind of creature is it ? asked Wendy while she was approaching him. It looks like a magical… Fox ?

– I dunno, but he’s cute as hell ! said Lucy with a bright look. Hello, cutie ! Where do you come from like that ? she continues, while squatting to approach the creature too. 

– Be careful, Lucy, Erza interverned. We don’t know what it is. 

– *I am a Chosen. Are you mages ?*

The group froze. Where does that voice was coming from ? That was like it had resonated directly inside their minds… The first person who asked the question that all have in their minds was Carla.

– What. Was. That ? 

– I don’t know, answered Wendy, that was so strange !

– It looked like it was one of my own thought, but with another voice than mine… added Natsu.

– *Even if the fact that you can hear me is answering my question, I will repeat it anyway, as you seem slow on the uptake : Are you Fiore’s mages ?* pick the voice up again, more insistently. 

Lucy, who seemed to have a moment of clarity, looked at the magical creature, who was looking at the group with an air of defiance. She slowly smiled at him.

– That’s you who talk to us, isn’t it little buddy ? Telepathically ? 

The little creature nodded his head to approve. 

– *That’s it. So ?*

– WAAAAAAAAAH A SPEAKING FOX ! shouted Natsu who looks totally panicked.

– … Come ooooon, Natsu,  reacted Lucy looking at him. We’ve already seen a thousand of unusual or strange things in our life, that’s not a fox who speak to us telepathically which will trouble us, anyway ! That said, she turned herself back to the little ginger and black being. To answer your question, yes, we are mages from this country. We are members of the Fairy Tail Guild and my name’s Lucy. 

– *Once again, I’m not a fox, but a Chosen. That’s absolutely not the same type of creatures, but I have not the time to explain the difference right now. I am happy to have found people who know magic. I’ll not beat around the bush : Mages of Fairy Tail, I need your help as quickly as possible.* 

To this worlds, the Chosen leaned over in front of the group. At this moment, they all notice how exhausted he seems. He was shivering and breathless. 

– But… We are in a hurry and… started Carla. 

– *PLEASE ! I beg you, it’s a matter of life and death !* he insisted, leaned over lower. 

Erza came closer to the Chosen too. 

– Asked like that, that’s OK, little buddy. We will help you. 

Her decision was irrevocable. Lucy launched to Erza a blazing smile, obviously reassured. 

– What can we do for you, lil’ buddy ? If that’s about fighting, I’m all fired up ! said Natsu with an enthusiastic voice. 

– *Well, to start by the beginning, my name’s Pog, and that’s not about fighting, but about helping someone. I’ll lead you to her and we must hurry. We are chased and our pursuers must not be very far.*

– ARE YOU SOME KIND OF CRIMINALS ? shouted Erza who immediately pointed a sword to Pog. He stepped back for a few steps, his ears back. 

– *HELL NO !* he shouted too. *We are fugitives. We fled our country because our king hunt the mages there to take off their magic until they died. The person I asked you to go to help is a powerful mage of our country and I suppose you understand now why we ran away from our land. We came in Fiore to find refuge. Anyway, I have not the time to say more about it now. Alex is in high danger, unconscious and vulnerable. If you don’t believe me and if you don’t want to help me, whatever, I’ll do it on my own, even if that’d be a failure !*”

Pog ended his sentence and was beginning to run away from the group. This scarlet-haired mage had scared him and no, he definitely had no time to lose. Alex’s life was depending on it. He was a little bit disappointed after all. But he knew that revealing where they came from and who they were could cause this kind of reaction. 

“POG, WAIT !”

He was already around tens meters away from the mages when the voice made him stop and turn back to it. He recognized the blond girl who had talked gently to him, Lucy. She catch up to him a few seconds later. 

“Whatever Erza think about it., I believe you. I will help you, if you agree. 

– *Lucy… Thank you so much. With your help, Alex may have a chance to get by.* say the Chosen with a lot of gratitude in his look.

– And where Lucy goes, I go too ! exclaimed Natsu who appeared on the young woman’s side, closely followed by Happy who agreed with a head nod. 

Some moments later, they were joined by the last three members of the team. Erza knelt down to be closer to Pog. 

– I apologize to have react like that, Pog. I feel your distress and I believe you too. So, where’s your friend ? Hurry, lead us to her, I thought that was an emergency, isn’t it ?”

The magical creature made a relieved smile and nodded his head. He signals to the team to follow him and set off in Alex’s direction. His instinct wasn’t wrong, after all, his magic leaded him to some amazing mages, obviously.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WELL WELL WELL.

I have finally made the decision to publish my fiction here too !

Well, I hope you’ll enjoy it, and please excuse my english, as this is not my native language, I have certainly do a lot of errors in the text. I just hope that will not ruin the reading !

See you soon for the next chapter ! :D

[kuchenackerman]

This comes from an Eren stan: I love him and yes, he’s done bad things and made mistakes.

He basically forced the SC into engaging in an attack in a whole different continent. It wasn’t much of a choice but an ultimatum. Even if in the end it was necessary because it gave them a tiny bit of time (?), the surprise factor as a Grim Reminder 2.0 and they got the WH, he still basically told them to go help him or let him die (he was/is the only actual advantage they have). And welp, Sasha, one of the people he wanted to live a long happy life, ended up dying because of this...

It was collateral damage in the middle of a seconds before declaration of war, but he still killed innocents in Liberio, yup. No one can deny that, even if he was aiming at the Marleyan army.

He manipulated his own father into murdering the Reiss family. He clearly didn’t enjoy it, but he still did what he did. He had his hands stained with children’s blood even before (?) Liberio. 

He was a jerk to his friends for whatever reason. It could have been for them not to follow him into hell and who knows, but he still was a big-ass jerk and they didn’t deserve his bullshit. Plus he didn’t even really gave them a choice, he got triggered at them insinuating he was being controlled / being a slave himself, leashed out on them and just put them and the rest of the 104th in a cell... Way to go with other’s freedom, Eren *thumbs up* you see this is why he lost his thumbs

He abused Falco’s trust and exposed him to hurt and even death when he transformed right beside him and Reiner. It was pretty unfair. He must have a soft spot for Falco but again, he still did what he did.

He rudely manhandled Hange, his commander. Yeah, Hange was getting into his nerves and all but Eren pls.

Levi getting hurt also was basically collateral damage to Eren’s decisions (and Levi’s own mistakes bc come on, we know how it went), and probably also Historia and her “timely” pregnancy while looking miserable

Eren have had the advantage that he saw glimpses of the future and the past that belonged to others. He’s the character that has the biggest power so far and maybe he’s gotten even more powerful now that he won Ymir’s side, the source of all that power who’s been passive for two thousand years. What I mean is that Eren has become someone that Kenny would respect since he’s really the “strongest guy” around, and... lately he’s essentially been submitting even the people he loves to his power and “knowledge” while claiming that he, at least, is free... lmao. Oh, and that ignorance sucks because “there’s nothing further removed from freedom” than that, right?

In chapter 122 we saw Eren give Ymir such a nice speech and all. After all she’s suffered, she at least deserved to be validated as a human. I liked it, but I can’t help but think about Eren’s actions so far and feel like bitchslapping him anyway. In my country we have a saying: “Padre Gatica, predica y no practica” (Gatica is just a lastname that rhymes with the other two words). In English it would translate to someone that preaches and is all talk like priests but doesn’t practice what he preaches. Lately, ever since the big timeskip, it feels like Eren has been kinda behaving like that.

Eren working so hard to reach Paths and finally freeing a victim like Ymir is / would be amazing, don’t get me wrong. He wants to change things regarding the word they live in, the one forged by people like that disgusting King. In this chapter Eren said he would end the world after the King’s speech about the power of the Titans ruling forever, and hence ending Ymir’s and the essence of Eldians being enslaved forever, and that fight is valid. However, I’m gonna quote something I already said last month after replying an ask for chapter 121:

For about a couple of years we’ve been denied Eren’s POV and his actions have been turning more and more confusing for both other characters and us, readers. We’re finally getting some answers and exposition, but we still don’t know what exactly his plan is. Is it something as straight-forward and extreme as the rumbling? Is it something more complex but still as terrifying as that? Is it a mix of things? Is it something we haven’t even really thought about yet?

All I know is that the rest of the world wants Eldians dead and gone for good, and that Eren doesn’t want that. Does he, in exchange, wants the rest of the world gone for good? We still have to see. If by stopping the genocide of his people he genocides the rest of the humans that aren’t “his people”… then lmao. I love Eren but his “if other people are going to steal my freedom, I’m going to steal theirs” doesn’t rub me the right way atm, because honestly, what’s the point of freedom if you just go and steal other people’s freedom? How does that make you any better or different than the ones that steal or try to steal your own freedom? Nelson Mandela once said “For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

I’ve always rooted for Eren as a character and for his fighting for freedom, simply because it’s beautiful to fight for a basic right. Oppression must be fighted and never accepted, so I’d certainly feel upset if he for real just goes ahead and finally, and completely, disposes of anyone that doesn’t think like him or that isn’t a Walldian.

*

Now, at the end of chapter 122 we see the Wall Titans were finally released. The walls are no longer standing. I’ve always thought that the Walls shouldn’t remain forever because of what they symbolize in more than one way, so I’m glad they basically won’t longer exist... Though at the same time, if Eren means to literally end the world using the Wall Titans - with the Full Rumbling™ and all - then he would be no different to others, or Zeke. 

However, it’s important to notice that he said “that’s it” after the King’s speech about the Titans ruling the world, so if he intended to use the Rumbling against the whole world then he would basically do what that King wanted: the world being helpless against the power of the Titans. The world would be meeting its own end dominated, destroyed and crushed by the Titans, making their power indeed the ultimate ruler. It will obviously also send the wrong message and will contradict what Eren just said to Ymir: she’s just a human being. Ymir is a human being just like the other Eldians and the rest of people in the planet. If being a human is valid enough and we all have a choice, then why should humanity be invalidated and swiped out by such a strong force without further question? 

I’m here considering the times Eren has preached and not practiced and, even though I have faith in him and his love for his friends (he still loves them even if he’s behaved like a lil bitch towards them), I’m almost prepared to keep on hurting because of his actions and wanting to bitchslap him for it. I’m sure Carla would.

Oh, and Eren is my fave SnK character regardless of what he does. Loving him as a character doesn’t mean I approve or get behind all his actions and words. 

[kabih]

I need confirmation to move forwards

It’s past midnight! Merry Christmas and Happy holidays......or should I say Holigays 

This is my gift for​ @seicchan-art, I’m your secret Santa! I love your art and I hope you don’t hate what I wrote 😅 (I posted this on ao3 and I really recommend reading it there. Just because the formatting is better and you don’t have to deal with tumblr adding emojis everywhere)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21898144

_______________________________________

Wendy now turned her head to Carla who was still flying around Lucy, “It should be blue.”  Lucy ignored her and continued going through Wendy's closet, adding on to the pile of clothes on the floor when she picked up something she didn’t like. 

“Wendy's always wearing blue”, Lucy hurriedly looked over to the girl in question to make sure she didn’t take offence, “Not that you don’t look cute in it! I just feel like there nothing wrong with wearing something different.” 

Carla flew closer to the closet now trying to find an outfit of her own “She shouldn’t be trying anything different, you're supposed to act like yourself on a date! And that counts for looks too!”   Her eyes landed on a sky blue dress and pointed towards it, “See something simple like this would be perfect for Wendy.”

“I mean-” Wendy intervened.

Lucy talked over her. “Really! Carla come on! I’m sure Wendy would rather-” 

“Well- ” the young girl tried again 

“I’m sure Wendy would prefer-” 

“Well!”    Lucy and Carla turned to look at the young girl sitting on her bed tired from being ignored. Once Wendy knew she actually had their attention, she continued, “You guys sure are mentioning my name a lot in a conversation I don’t even get to be apart of.”     Lucy dropped the purple shirt she was trying to convince Carla would be a good choice.     “Sorry! Sorry!” Wendy was waving her hands with her face turning red, realizing how harsh she sounded in her outburst. “I’m just stressed and you guys fighting over my outfit isn’t helping. Plus it just doesn’t seem like the most important thing right now.”     Carla went over to Wendy, apologizing for the fight yet not without commenting on how Wendy should still wear the blue dress. 

Lucy picked up a few of the clothes on the floor and put them back in the closet. She then put her arm around Wendy after she joined her on the bed. “It’s okay, sorry if we’re going overboard. I understand if you're a bit anxious Wendy, but remember it’s just Chelia! Imagine like it’s you guys hanging out, but in a more romantic setting.”    Yet that’s exactly what was freaking Wendy out. Her and Chelia have been friends for years and this is the first time there’s hope she could like the dragon slayer back.  

_______________________________________

A few days prior the pink-haired girl asks Wendy out. Well, Lucy is the one who seems to think Chelia asks her out. Wendy on the other hands see's this has another normal outing. 

Chelia ran up to her with her face red, asking her if they could meet tomorrow at some new coffee shop that opened.

"Do you think they have strawberry shortcake?" Ezra asked, Gray behind with her. "If so can we come? I've heard good things about it but I'd rather not go across town if they don't have any."

Chelia responded, eyes never leaving Wendy's, "Sorry, but I'm not going to be in town long and I really wanted it to be the two of us. So, do you want to go out with me Wendy?" _______________________________________

Wendy could see Lucy running over to her the second Chelia left.

_______________________________________

Once Lucy caught up to her she enthusiastically decided she was going to help Wendy get ready for her "date". Well till Carla started disagreeing with her sense of style. 

Wendy couldn't help but comment, "Lucy I still feel like your making a big deal out of nothing."

Lucy just hugged the girl tighter, "Wendy listen to me, she literally said and I quote "do you want to go out?" I don't know how she could have meant something else."

"Still," Wendy murmured, "they were people around, don't you ask people on a date in private? Plus she wasn't even nervous"

"Wendy the poor girl faced looked like a red rose garden, trust me when I say she was nervous."

"She was just running from Toby for ditching their mission." 

It's not like Wendy doesn't want this to be a date. She does! But if she was asking Chelia to "hang" by themselves she'd be a blushing mess and she wouldn't do it in such a public space as the guildhall! Even if her words were romantic, the context of them really wasn't! For someone who loves to talk about love, there no way Chelia would ask Wendy out in such a lacklustre manner.

Maybe Wendy didn’t misunderstand anything like Lucy said, maybe this really was just her and Chelia hanging out.  If she was really asking Wendy on a date, then Wendy would have been picked that up herself. She’s not oblivious! Wendy not that young! She’s old enough to go on a date damn it!    Well a, maybe date that is.  _______________________________________ Wendy ended up wearing a light purple jacket, with small desings of silver decorating it's bottom. Before Wendy left, Lucy found some black fur-lined leggings that Carla and Lucy both didn't hate. _______________________________________

Wendy swears on the hot chocolate she's drinking that was Gray entering the coffee shop her and Chelia were just leaving. 

Wendy couldn't help herself, "Chelia doesn't that look like Gray?"

"Wait seriously? What's he doing here?" She turned her head to try to find him.

"Ezra did ask if there were selling strawberry shortcake here. She'll be really happy when he tells them they do."

Chelia giggled into her mittens "Please, don't tell me he went across town just to check if they had shortcakes?" 

"It was a strawberry shortcake Chelia! And it was for Ezra, of course, he'd go."

Both girls laughed and joked a bit longer till they reached the center of Magnolia. There were shops and trees all covered with snow. With the sky turning into a beautiful midnight blue it was easy to notice the stars started appearing. Not too long after what seemed like a multitude of tiny lights slowly started trickling into the sky. About as big as a human thumb, you could compare them to the stars above, though they were probably a lot easier to reach. 

Wendy noticed Chelia looking up at them in wonder. "I've always wondered what those were every time i've visited."

"They're called Hikari, they came out after the sun sets during winter. You can only find them in Magnolia."

They were so close, floating all around, so easy to grab and Chelia then reached out to do just that. Once she's got hold of it, it slipped through her fingers and flew into the sky. Wendy couldn't help but smile watching Chelia make the same mistake she made during her first winters in Magnolia "Sorry Chelia, but these little guys don't like being touched" 

The pink-haired girl pouted, "So they don't love me? Too bad I'm quite a catch! Oh, don't worry you're a catch to Wendy."

It's when Chelia slowly slipes her hand into Wendy's that said girl remembers why she was so stressed about this "date".

She pulled away and took a step back. "Wendy are you okay?" Chelia seems worried now. Probably thinking she did something wrong. Did she? Is it her fault Wendy confused? 

No, it's not her fault, Wendy the one with the crush. But still, how much longer...........will she have to wait for someone else to say something.     

She likes Chelia, god she really does. What Wendy doesn’t like is this back and forth, this can they will they. She can’t spend forever waiting for Chelia to take the first step and shouldn't this be it? 

"Chelia...." 

But it doesn't feel like it. Not without her saying something. Wendy’s a confident person, she’s faced way worse than the cute girl urging her to continue.

  “I mean, Chelia.....do you...?”    She needs to know how Chelia feels. No, she wants to know. By the off chance, Chelia doesn’t like Wendy back that's, that’s fine! Sure it would hurt, but they’ll move past it. Chelia would understand! That’s one of the reasons why Wendy likes her in the first place.    “Is this....is this....” 

But what if she doesn't-

Who cares about what if’s.

“Is this a date? Because I want it to be one.” 

  Chelia doesn’t look away from Wendy, she doesn’t stop smiling either.    Taking that as a sign to continue, “It’s just when you ask me to come with you I wasn’t sure if it was. Since you did it so casually I thought this was just us being friends" She no longer watching Chelia's reaction ending her ramble by studying her hands.

“So I wanted to know if this was a date, I want to know if you really did like me like that.”    There was a long pause before Chelia answered, Wendy still wasn't looking at her.

I wonder if she's still smiling.   “I really should have brought flowers or something?” Wendy's eyes flickered back to the other girl's face.   “I’m sorry Wendy, I should have thought of something more romantic than a coffee shop and a walk in the snow." Now Chelia was the one blushing. Wendy couldn't help but notice how she really does like a red rose.

"I was just in such a rush to find something to do since I found out we'd be coming to Magnolia. It was so sudden so at that point I didn't care what we did as long as it was with you." 

Well that confirms her feeling for Wendy.

Wendy didn't pull away when Chelia linked their hands together this time, listening to her actions instead of her words.

The two girls walked in silence for some time, admiring all the lights floating above them. At some point, they passed a flower shop with red, pink, purple and white roses on display. Chelia bends down and picked the purple one out of its pot.  Chelia handed Wendy the flower, "I'll try to remember that my girlfriend can be a bit oblivious at times."

"First of all, I am not. Second, the shop owner is coming up to us and he looks pretty mad that you just ripped out one of his flowers"

[rmjagonshi]

Visions of HeartBreak Past

On AO3

It was almost done, Soos was finishing up the last few stitches before they let the thing into the air. If he could pull this off, he might actually get more customers into the Mystery Shack. There might actually be an upside to this ‘Woodstick’ Festival yet. He’d seen the way these kids spent money – heck, some of them were adults not that much younger than him – and with any luck, he might just be able to top off the budget for this month. He was short on the utilities payment by a good three-hundred-bucks. If there was one thing he never counted on, was that his brother’s dumb sci-fi portal mess drove the electricity bills further up the ‘dear god why’ charts. He does kinda feel bad for the kids; he’d had to come up with some lame-ass old man excuse for never turning on the lights or air conditioner during the day. He’d make it up to them…somehow…maybe. He sighed.

If he was gonna pull this off, he was really gonna need to prepare the kids for the eventuality of their entire world upending. But for now, he just needed to advertise. And the balloon was…abso-fucking-lutely not like he had anticipated. It was a fucking horror show, looked nothing like the blueprints and very much like what he saw in the mirror every morning. Although, Soos’s comment that the nose looked like a sausage and that it reminded him of the story that his Abuelita told him about a couple who find a genie and they fight over the wishes and one ends up with a sausage for a nose, kinda made it better. Soos was a good kid – er, man. Man-kid. Stan was sure he didn’t deserve the kindness and loyalty that the man gave him. He was honest enough with himself to admit that he’d used that unwavering loyalty to his advantage a few times.

Stan gritted his teeth in frustration at his own mind. Everything came back around to that, didn’t it? Everything he did, every time he felt even the tiniest bit of happiness, it all had to circle back and remind him that he was a sad, tired and despicable old man that didn’t deserve the friends and family he had. Hell, until the kids came, he didn’t have any family to call his own. But…maybe, just maybe, after all these years, he could do something right. Be less of a fuck-up. Which brought everything back to the hideous hot-air balloon that he was beginning to doubt was a great idea. He took another look at the blue prints and tried to make sense of the horrid scribbles he had jotted down in the margins when the sound of a lot of hot air being released into the night sky caught his attention.

“Wuh-oh. Mr. Pines. Think we got a problem.” Soos gestured to the ripped seam up near the balloon’s fez. Sure enough, the patchwork fabric they’d used to make the fez was flapping wildly as the hot air trapped in the misshapen balloon escaped with force, threatening to burst adjacent seams with every second. Well, shit. It would take a good hour for Soos to deflate the balloon, repair the damage and get it back up and running. Why is it that everything always had to go wrong? Why couldn’t one of his plans go off without a hitch? Just one? Oy!

“I’m on it Mr. Pines! I’ll have this balloon fixed in a jiffy. Now, what lever turned off the do-hicky again?” Make it two hours until Soos figured out how to fix this. He should probably scope out the venders and see what the young people were spending their money on. I couldn’t hurt to expand the gift shop merchandise to include things his new customers were actually interested in buying.

“Hey, Soos, I’m gonna go walk around, scope out the competition, ya’know. Figure out what these kids are into.” Or he really just needed to walk around and think and didn’t need Soos to pick up on it. As oblivious as the kid was, he always had a knack for knowing when Stan was moping around. It seemed every time, without fail, that he was feeling particularly depressed, he would open the door to see Soos standing there with cookies, or breakfast, or something sweet his grandma had made, or some kind of ‘Boss Appreciation’ gift. While he adored the boy, sometimes, he just needed to stew. He was sixty for Pete’s sake, he was entitled to a few days where he could just be a sad and grumpy old man. He’d earned it.

“Sure, Mr. Pines.” Soos had already started flicking levers and pushing buttons on the engine. Stan shrugged, Soos was the better of the two at figuring out how it worked anyhow. What harm could it do? He turned and walked back to the rows of venders all in pavilion style tents. All the venders were shouting and trying to attract customers, showing off their products and…what was that? Giving out free samples!? And the kids were eating it up! How the heck can they make any money by just giving stuff away? Oh sure, keep the t-shirt and caps for full charge, but give the stickers away for free.

Stickers are where he made most of his money! People were rubes, but some of them were pretty price savvy. Show’em a t-shirt with cheap cloth that will fall apart after five washes and tell’em it’s twenty-five bucks, they’ll laugh in your face and keep their wallets tightly closed. But show them a cheap key chain or sticker and tell them it’s a buck or two, they eat it up. They buy five, one of each variety. Paint one shipment gold and call it “special edition” and charge an extra buck, they buy the whole stock. Have a stack of postcards that got wet and the ink warped during the last storm because the roof leaked? Sell them as prints of a hand painted scape of Gravity Falls and double the price. People were absolutely stupid when it came to money if you just nickel and dimed them with special editions and ‘one of a kinds’.

But he wasn't here to boat to himself about how much better a con-artist he was. He was here to figure out what the young people of today were spending their money on. The further he walked, the more food and drink stalls he came across. Okay, so having a food truck on site might be a good idea. He’d done that with the fair he’d put on at the beginning of the summer. Didn’t he make a lot of money that day? Honestly he can’t remember much – he does the fair every year to replace the county fair that the town can’t pay for anymore, and it breaks even most years – all he remembers is sitting in a dunk tank for the afternoon and bleeding the suckers dry as rube after rube tried their hand at dunking the old creep from the Mystery Shack.

Okay, food truck. He could do that. Have a tiny kitchen where he sold drinks and shitty hot dogs and icecream to the families that come from miles around. Might even call up Susan and see if she had a spare cook and the Greasy Diner can share in the profits.

Or…not. He’d not too keen on calling the resident Crazy Cat Lady again. Especially since she still seemed to want to date him. That was a total disaster. And poor Mabel. She meant well, but he was just, as Wendy had put it, ‘un-fixable’. Heck, Soos had been trying for over a decade and hadn’t gotten anywhere. He was doomed to be alone forever, he supposed. Not that he didn’t deserve it. He’d pushed everyone in his life away. He creeped most women out – most men too for that matter – with his really tired and used pick-up lines. His six hour marriage to Marylin ended with her ducking out of the El Diablo at 75 mph with their ill-gotten casino winnings. He’d really thought he’d been in love. Then again, he’d thought he’d been in love with Carla too. He’d dated her through high-school and when he’d gotten kicked out, they’d tried to go steady for a while. But his constant moping over living in his car and losing his family had pushed her into the arms of a musician. And Ford…

Well, he’d pushed Ford into a swirling vortex of Hell in a fit of rage. His guilt hadn’t let him get a full night’s sleep in thirty years.

And now he was avoiding his feelings by wandering the tents at the Woodstick Festival. Dang it! He really needed to go see a therapist like Soos said. But what was he gonna say; ‘Hey, yeah, so I pushed my brother into a sci-fi portal and have spent the last thirty years trying to teach himself quantum physics and calculus, so he could get him back. Oh, and I may or may not have romantic feelings about said brother.’ Yeah, that would go over well.

Stan sighed. He really was hopeless wasn’t he?

A yell and the sound of a cart of beads being turned over caught his attention as he saw a telltale mop of brown hair and a rainbow sweater dart around the corner. He watched as both Mabel and Dipper cut and weaved through the crowd, a rather pudgy blond man in moderate pursuit. At least, until the prop wings on his back started flapping and Stan got a nagging prickling at the back of his head whenever he encountered something supernatural. His gut reaction, the same one that had kept him from going insane in the last thirty years was to turn around and ignore, repress, and feign ignorance. A slightly more pressing gut reaction was to chase down the offender with a baseball bat for endangering his kids.

I really wasn't even a debate as he found himself darting after the three, watching in only slight horror as he saw the absolutely not supernatural man fly overhead to cut off the kids at the fenceline. Stan caught up just a moment after, quick and practiced fingers taking the bottle of black powder from Mabel’s hand as he came up behind her and tucking it in his jacket. He was braced to punch a hippie in the face to protect his children. Heck, he’d probably punch the hippie anyway.      

“Sorry, kids, but you’ve left me now choice. Visions of Heartbreak Past!”

As the blond hippie raised his bottles of creepy hippy powder to throw at Mable, Stan darted in front of her, grabbing her shoulder and pushing her back to fall to the grass and was coated in the pink and purple smoky haze instead. He inhaled and immediately regretted his need to breathe as he doubled over, hacking so hard he was surprised his dentures hadn’t fallen out. Whatever this guy was using to drug people, it was doing a number on Stan’s lungs. He really was lucky to have quit smoking when the kids showed up. He’d probably have passed out by now if he hadn’t. The residual powder coated his mouth and throat. It tasted of bittersweet hope, and…was that jelly beans? God, he hadn’t had jelly beans since…

“Stan?”

Stan froze. He knew that voice. Knew it better than anything else. That voice, that scream that haunted his nightmares.

“Wait, wah?”

“Why is there a pink flavored Grunkle Stan? Hey Love God, what was that supposed to do?”

The ‘Love God’ gaged.

“Ewwww, Man! I knew this bozo was weird. I didn’t think it was this bad.” The twisted face of disgust on the Love Gods face confused the twins, but was completely lost on Stan.

As the smoke cleared, a pink tinged hand extended out to him. A six-fingered hand, wreathed in pink light reaching out to him. When he looked up, it was like looking into a mirror, one that reflected only his best features. His tired, half-blind eyes meet soft pink ones, ones he knew were supposed to be blue so his mind filled in the correct color.

“It’s supposed to show you romances you’ve had and lost. It gets people off my back when they get too suspicious.” Spat ‘Love God’, momentarily recovering from his aborted retching.

Stan heard none of it. Eyes fixated on the phantom in front of him.

“Himself? Huh? Guess it’s not that surprising.”

“But, why would he have ‘lost’ himself? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Man, you kids have one freaky family.” The ‘Love God’ gulped down something from his belt of potions.

The six fingered hand reached for his own, tugging gently at first before pulling Stan to his feet and interlacing their fingers. A shy smile pulled at that lips he used to catch himself staring at. He knew, logically, that he wasn’t looking into the face of his brother. Stanford was likely older now than his memory allowed. And Stanford wasn’t pink, he knew that. Logically he knew that. But his heart couldn’t take it. The phantom embraced him, twelve fingers digging into his suit jacket.  

“Please…” God, he wanted to. Whatever it was, he would do it. But his mind clouded, his eyes clouded and all he could do was cry.  

He gripped the phantom tightly, the twins watched, even more confused but thankfully silent. The ‘Love God’, true to his name, showed somewhat of a heart and stopped gagging and even frowned in empathy. He barely noticed when the phantom pickpocketed him. The phial was tossed to the ‘Love God’ and the phantom Stanford shot a wicked smile at Stan. One that, while it was supposed to look like betrayal, only shot a bolt of heat down his spine. The ‘Love God’ was right, he was a freak.  

Panicked screams echoed as the night sky lit up orange and red. Stan turned in time to see his would-be advertisement scheme in flames and headed directly for them. Through residual tears, he launched forwards and scooped the twins up and out of the range of the fall out. The ‘Love God’ was not so lucky.  

When the dust cleared and the fire crew crowded in to put out the flames, the kids squirmed their way out of Stan’s grasp and raced back to the spot where the pudgy aspiring musician stood.

“Love God? Are you ok?”

“Please be immortal, please be immortal.”

It was just Stan’s luck that Cupid was invulnerable. He still got a good punch in before the freak got to the stage.

*~*~*~*~*

When they found the portal in the hidden basement and everything literally almost turned upside-down, it made sense. When the author of the journals walked out from the glowing blue light and introduced himself, they understood. When Stan told them the stranger was his brother, everything fell into place.

Mostly.

Mable was still struggling to understand what had happened at the Woodstick Festival. Climbing out of bed, Mabel made her way downstairs and out the back door, hearing muttering from the open door to the gift shop.  

She found Stan leaning back into the couch on the back porch, glass bottle in one hand, lit cigar in the other. Eyes red rimmed and blinking slowly at the treeline like he was a million, billion miles away. He was letting he cigar burn down, the ash dropping off the end to land in the ashtray he’d absently left on the side table. She tentatively took the cigar from between his fingers, squashed the lit end into the ashtray to put it out, and climbed up on the couch beside him.

He startled when she took his cigar, but just watched her as she put it out and sat down; not speaking, not accusing, not asking. He knew why she was up, why she’d come looking for him. Ford was still in the basement working on something or other; the clang of metal occasionally reverberating enough to be heard through the floorboards. He settled back, moving to set the bottle down before wrapping an arm around her. She curled up into his side, fingers picking at stray hairs on his dress-shirt – the suit jacket left somewhere inside. She knew they hadn’t hugged, and that Stan would need one. She liked her new Grunkle, he was cool, and super smart, he just, had some anger issues to deal with. But as mad at Stan as he was, he couldn’t hate him, could he? They were twins, like her and Dipper. They could never hate eachother. She felt her Grunkle slump further into the couch.

He really didn’t want to talk. But like pulling out a loose tooth or a splinter, it was the best thing for him.  

“So…the Woodstick Festival?”

Stan flinched. He tilted his head so that the glare from the open door blocked his eyes and withdrew his arm. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but his voice caught in his throat and no sound escaped. After a few seconds, he just gave up, closing his mouth with a click and turning away from her.

The ‘Love God’s’ words had stuck in her head. Not love, ‘romance’. As in, crush, as in stay awake all night thinking about them. But, Grunkle Ford was Stan’s brother. Love God had to have been wrong, maybe he used the wrong powder, or maybe it applied to familial love too. Her head jerked up when she heard Stan’s ragged voice.  

“I…I…understand…if you want to…go home early. I won’t ask you to stay. It wouldn’t be right. Just…all I’m askin’ is that you not tell your parents about that. I don’t care what they think of me, but Ford deserves a chance to know his family. He never got the chance to meet your dad. Shermie told me that they are a lot alike. Probably where Dipper gets it.”

He chuckled to himself. Voice dry and lacking any sense of real warmth. He reached down and took a swig from his bottle, draining it and staring at the label as if it held the cure to his every ailment.

“But he didn’t know. Nothing ever happened. I was all me. I’m the freak. Ford didn’t know, still probably doesn’t know.” His movements were jerky, bottle dropping to the porch as he turned and grasped Mabel by her hand. “Oh God, please…please don’t tell him! I’ll do anything!” He had clasped her hand in both of his. He was pleading with her, just like he’d done back in the basement. Begging her to trust him, begging her to not do this.

She felt scared. Why on Earth would she not tell Grunkle Ford that his brother loved him enough that their falling out broke Stan’s heart? Why would she not tell her parents that, either? Why would it even need to be a secret? Why would Stan call himself a fre…unless……oh. OH! He meant, as in, oh wow! That changed things, didn’t it? He meant it like, he ‘loved’ his brother. He loved Stanford.

Something in her expression must have showed recognition because his eyes filled with shame and he turned away, letting go of her hands and picking at the tear in the couch cushion.  

“You love him. And I mean, like, love love, like lay awake at night thinking about them, love.” It wasn't a question. But all the same, Stan nodded.

She didn’t know what to say. Usually, she’d tell Stan to go tell him, go confess your feelings. They either liked you back, or didn’t. But this was way different than everyday romances. This wasn't even just forbidden love between a snake and a badger or like between Dipper and Wendy. This was taboo. This was all kinds of wrong. What could she say to that? ‘Oh, hey. Grunkle Ford, I know that we just met and all, but did you know your brother is in love with you? No? Well he is, and spent the last thirty years trying to get you back because of it.’ She shook her head. There was no real way to talk this through.

She tried to imagine feeling about Dipper like that. Like, tried to picture Mermando and the feelings she got when thinking about him and tried to put Dipper there. But, she just couldn’t. Every time she pictures his face, all she felt was good natured affection for her bro-bro. He was cute…she guessed. But he didn’t make her heart beat fast like Mermando did.

Grunkle Stan had called himself a ‘freak’, maybe he was right. Loving your brother, wanting to smooch your brother was weird. She understands now why the Love God got so grossed-out when he saw the phantom Grunkle Ford. It was kinda weird and gross, but…well, Stan was a weird, gross, old man, maybe it was ok. He looked so lost now, like he wanted to jump into the Bottomless Pit and not come back.

She would be sad if he did. He would cry and cry and cry until the whole of Gravity Falls was under water. Dipper would cry too, though he would never admit it. And she doesn’t know Grunkle Ford very well, but she’s sure he would cry too.

They had sat in silence for several minutes as Mabel processed what had to be her Grunkle’s greatest secret. With a small smile, she flopped into Stan’s side and did her best to wrap him in the biggest Mabel hug she could.

Stan flinched, jarred by the contact he thought he would never feel again. He shifted his weight on the couch, turning just enough to gather Mabel into his lap and squeeze as tight as she would let him. He buried his face into her soft hair, brown strands absorbing the tears he couldn’t stop.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into her scalp, gravel voice hardly a whisper. “I’m sorry your uncle is a freak.”

She wanted to tell him that is was going to ok, that he wasn't a freak, and that he wasn't a bad person. But, she just couldn’t…not yet, and maybe not ever. She didn’t know how to feel about this. She loved Stan, yes, and nothing he would ever do would change that, but, this was something she didn’t know how to handle. She just squeezed tighter.

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Upstairs, the triangular window was propped open, and a microphone dangled from a string from its ledge. Dipper’s – with oversized headphones over his ears – face was contorted, brows furrowed and chewing nervously on his thumbnail.

-

-

Ford leaned against the wall beside the back door just outside of view of anyone looking in from the outside. He’d left his boots downstairs to muffle the sound of his steps. His was was grim, tired, and despondent. Hand absently trailing to the inner pocket of his jacket where he kept the one photo that had kept him going the past three decades. He wondered if it would still carry the same meaning now.

[ficdirectory]

Disuphere Universe Miniseries: The Early Years: Pearl

When Pearl is born...well...that’s when Paris’s whole world changes.

He’s always wanted to be a dad, see.  And wanting that made him too eager to marry the first woman he thought he could start a life with.

Carla’s younger, sure.  Twenty to his thirty.  But they got along.  Had fun together.  She was such a nice person.  Everybody said so.  Everybody in town.  Carla had a reputation for being well-liked.  She was fun.  A free spirit.  So, pregnancy got her down a little bit.  Morning sickness and all that.  

When they got the first ultrasound?  Their baby was nothing but a tiny speck.

“Just like a little Pearl,” Carla had remarked.

“Honey, we don’t know if it’s gonna be a girl or not.  Right now, it’s just a baby.”

“Oh, she’ll be a girl, all right,” Carla had said in that way she had of convincing everybody around her to listen to her.  “She’ll listen to me because I’m her mom.”

Sure enough, Carla’s right.  They’re having a girl.  Even though Paris suggested the name Evangeline, after his great grandmother who raised him, Carla had scoffed and Paris had tried not to show how deeply her reaction hurt.

“She’s a baby, Paris.  I don’t want her named after some old lady from the 1800’s.  It’s 1983!”

One afternoon in June, Paris gets home to find Carla gone, and a note, left on the door, in Carla’s handwriting:  

“St. Joseph’s.  Baby.  Water broke at store.  Hurry.”

Paris doesn’t remember making the drive to the hospital.  Stopping by the receptionist’s desk.  Being told Carla West was in labor and delivery, and he was welcome to wait in the waiting room.

He just remembers pacing.  Pacing and pacing and pacing.  Trying  to tune into the news on in the corner about how there’s about to be a U.S. woman going up in space for the first time.

Paris finds himself thinking of Pearl.  Imagining possibilities for her.  She could be an astronaut someday.  Paris is not naive.  He knows this is not an ideal world.  But he would like to make it as close to one as possible for his daughter.

It’s just after 9 PM when somebody comes to speak to him.  Informs him that he has a beautiful baby daughter.  He goes to Carla first, who asks him to go write the baby’s name out for the birth certificate:

“Pearl Marie,” she insists, spelling it out for him like he’s not, in fact, ten years her senior.

(He knows, very well, that Marie is Carla’s grandmother’s middle name, as well as her own.  Her hypocrisy in this strikes him like a blow.)

“I got it,” he answers, and walks out of the room.  To the nursery, where a nurse holds up his tiny baby, Pearl.

He takes a good look at her, crying and perfect.  God, Paris has never seen a more amazing baby.  He taps on the door, and asks to come and have a closer look.

“Please, I’m a new dad,” he all but begs.  “Carla West’s my wife. Just had a baby girl.”

“Of course.  Baby Girl West is right here.  Does she have a name yet?” a nurse asks, picking up baby Pearl and handing her to Paris to hold.

“She sure does.  Her name is Pearl Evangeline West.”  He takes his time.  Spells it carefully.  Knows it will be a few days before Carla knows anything, and by then, it will be too late to change it.

“Marie means bitter, baby, and you are not bitter.  You are a bringer of good news.  Just like your great, great grandma was.  Yes, you are.”

In his arms, Pearl stirs and opens her eyes, squinting at the bright lights.  Her tiny hand finds his big old finger.  Grabs on.  Holds tight.

“Hello, Pearl.  I’m your daddy,” Paris tells her, soft.  Gentle.  He feels filled with certainty that this will be the greatest thing he will ever be.  The biggest job he will ever have.  His most important responsibility.  “Are you gonna be an astronaut?” he asks.

Pearl yawns.  Her eyes fall closed.  She’s still holding onto Paris’s finger.

Somewhere, a nurse snaps a picture with a Polaroid camera.  Paris in a rocking chair.  His arms full of sleeping baby Pearl, clinging onto his finger.  When he knows he’s been gone too long, Paris reluctantly puts Pearl back.  Tucks the Polaroid into his jeans.

Goes back to Carla.

--

On June 12th, they come home, a family of three.

Carla is exhausted, and still angry about his giving the ‘wrong name’ for Pearl’s birth certificate.  Paris is a pretty patient guy.  He’ll blame her current mood on the hormones.  

“It ain’t the wrong name, honey.  It’s her name,” Paris points out.

“It’s Pearl Marie.  I told you,” Carla snaps.

“I can take her.  Hold her for a bit,” Paris offers.  “You can get some rest.”

“Oh no.  Who knows what else you’re gonna do?  Change her birth date?” Carla jeers, holding onto Pearl tighter, so she fusses.

“Carla, that’s not…  Come on…” Paris hates that he’s all but begging to hold his own baby.  But what else can he do right now?  Might as well let Carla simmer down a little.

--

Turns out, there is one huge chunk of time where Carla cannot be bothered to hoard baby Pearl.  And that’s anytime between about 8 PM and 8 AM.  So, Paris is up at 10 PM, and midnight, and 2 AM and 4 AM, and 6 AM.  Heating up formula.  Changing diapers.  Singing to Pearl.

It’s exhausting, especially as there ain’t no such thing as paternity leave.  So he’s got to be out the door at 8:30 AM to work a full day, after making sure Carla’s awake to take the baby.

But the half a dozen times Paris is up at night?  That’s their time.  When Pearl looks wide awake, and smiles at him at 4 AM, Paris can’t help but smile back.

It’s these times, late at night, while Pearl’s taking her bottle like a champ that Paris talks to her about himself.  (“Confession time, baby, your daddy? Is smart.  And that’s how I know you’ll be smart, too.  Maybe not book-smart like your old dad.  But maybe you’ll be people-smart.  Or street-smart.  Everybody’s some kind of smart.  Including you.”)   He tells Pearl about his family, knowing just how little Carla likes to associate with them.

But if Paris has anything to say about it?  Pearl is gonna know where she’s from.  Her family.  Her people.

--

Things start to decline in the marriage, even while Pearl flourishes.  

Standing at 6 months.  Full on running 3 months later.  Never even crawled.

She talks for the first time at 9 months old, running up to Paris as he arrives home from work with an exuberant, “Hi, Dada!”

Paris scoops her up, and greets her, equally happy to see her.  “Hi, Pearl!  How you doin’?  You good?”

She nods, and wraps chubby arms around his neck.

(Carla, of course, is livid that Pearl’s first word is not Mama, like it “should be.”  Paris tries to ignore it.  Tries to protect baby Pearl from the onslaught of negativity.

Pearl’s two, speaking full sentences and reading The Cat in the Hat like a pro.  But Carla seems completely unprepared for what to do when Pearl reaches her end at McDonald’s one afternoon.  She wants to play on the playground and doesn’t seem interested in eating her food.

“I’m gonna slide and merry-go-round,” Pearl tells them, as Paris manages to convince Pearl to eat one French fry by covering it in ketchup and offering it to her.

“God, Paris.  She’s two years old.  She’s not a baby.”

Paris sits back.  “Do you hear yourself?”

“I’m gonna slide and merry-go-rooouund!” Pearl insists.

“After you eat your food!” Carla snaps, in a mocking voice.

Though, she’s just a toddler, Pearl knows when she’s being teased.  The lip comes out.  Her eyes fill with tears.

“Pearl, McDonald’s is a treat.  If you can’t be happy, we can’t come here anymore,” Carla warns.

Paris’s heart breaks, as he watches Pearl, unable to keep it together and at naptime, no less, breaking into tears.

Carla wastes no time scooping her out of the booth and carrying her to the car.  She falls asleep on the drive home.

--

The next time Paris is coming back from work, he makes a stop at a local store and cases their toy aisle.  Until he finds what he is looking for.  A grumpy Care Bear with a sad cloud on its front.  Paris buys it, knowing some things, you gotta make an exception for, even if money’s tight.

Carla’s getting her hair cut a few hours later when Paris gives the toy to Pearl:

“This is for you.  I know Mommy told you you had to be happy all the time--”

“--or no McDonald’s,” Pearl remembers, sad.

“Right.  But this right here?  This is a special friend named Grumpy Bear.  See, how he’s not smiling?”

Pearl studies the bear, concern showing in her eyes.

“Well, that’s because Grumpy Bear wants you to know if you’re grumpy, you can tell him.  Or you can tell Daddy, too.”

“He can’t go to McDonald’s…” Pearl says, regretful, cuddling the bear.

“He absolutely can go to McDonald’s,” Paris corrects her, gentle.  “But how about, before we go, we talk about what’s gonna happen when we get there.”

“Okay,” Pearl agrees with a smile that melts Paris’s heart.  He talks her through how they’ll tell what they want.  Then, they’ll get their food.  Then, they’ll eat their food, and then they’ll play on the slide and the merry-go-round.

He writes it all on a receipt in simple words.  Gives it to her to carry.  He can hear her talking to Grumpy Bear in the car:

“Don’t worry, Grumpy.  We get to go to McDonald’s.  We don’t have to be happy all the time.  See?  Look at this list.  This is what we’re gonna do.”  She shows the bear the list, talking him through all the steps.

When they get there, Pearl still wants to slide, but Paris is able to reason with her, by making quick work of ordering their food and then pointing out that they’re already one step closer to getting to play on the playground.

He occupies her by asking if she can read NO SWEAT, written on his hat.  She correctly reads NO and almost reads SWEAT.

“No sweat means something is easy,” Paris explains.

“Not hard?” Pearl checks.

“Not hard,” he confirms.

“That’s why your hat says NO SWEAT?  Because going to McDonald’s is easy?” Pearl asks.

“That’s right.  Know what else is easy?” he asks.

“What?” Pearl asks, standing Grumpy Bear on the table.

“Loving you.  You’re such a good girl.  You’re smart and kind.  You’re curious.”

“Like Curious George!” Pearl pipes up.  “Pearl was curious…” she quotes, except that line originally had George, the monkey’s name in it.

“That’s right!” Paris laughs.  “And you can have all the feelings you have.  Because feelings are good.”

“Okay, Daddy,” Pearl beams.

Their food comes.

They eat.  

He catches her as she slides down the biggest slide.

Pushes her on the merry-go-round.

She falls asleep again in the car on the way home, but at the end of a much better day.

--

It’s two years later.  October 24th, 1987.  

Pearl’s four and has just started kindergarten.  Paris has spent the last couple of years talking to lawyers, and anybody who will listen about his situation.  About the state of their marriage that has only gotten more and more awful.  About the effect that it’s having on Pearl.

But it’s no use.  Everyone he talks to says if he divorces Carla, custody will likely stay with her.  No judge awards it to fathers unless there’s significant abuse or neglect.

And even though he’s glad it hasn’t gotten that bad, he also knows, the verbal and emotional wounds Pearl has already, thanks to her mom, will last.  Even though they don’t scar, the damage will be there.

Paris thinks long and hard about what to do.  Actually has Pearl in the car.  Just picked her up from school.  And it would be so easy.  So, so easy to just drive away with her.  To let Carla find the papers in the mail when she gets home from work today.

But Paris can’t do that.  So, he talks to Pearl on the way home, like always.  Tells her he loves her.  Tells her he will see her later.  Gives her a kiss.  And drops her off with the neighbor, who babysits her while he and Carla work.

“Bye, Daddy!” Pearl calls, smiling.

“Bye, Pearl.  I’ll see you real soon.  I promise.”

(But he doesn’t.

Carla’s madder than a wet hen when she finds out about the divorce.)

And what’s worse?  As he’s pulling into a motel for the night?  He finds Grumpy Bear, on the floor in the back seat of the car.

Paris brushes him off.  Brings him inside.  He’ll go to the post office in the morning.  Mail it first thing.

It just doesn’t seem right that Pearl be without her favorite toy.

[deactivatedaccountsorrylol]

Amethyst Reference In A Sense Here's the best I can do so far. You have her in her More Blood Attire , Panda Outfit , School Uniform , Underwear and Bare Naked/But Censored. Information on her Most of her information is in this collection https://plus.google.com/u/0/collection/gf50WE so if you want to know more about her go there. Amethyst is my persona/self insert character for Diabolik Lovers. She is shipped with Yuuma Mukami but also an OC named Chris (Formerly Keah) (+мαѕтєя кσυ ブラチスアイドル). She was adopted by the Tsukinami's upon them saving her but she later was claimed as the adoptive sister of Ruki, Kou and Azusa Mukami.. Mainly because of her relationship with Yuuma. Amethyst is a Dimensional Guardian, A form of Guardian Angel in a sort but a whole different species whose role is to protect certain dimensions from chaos (AKA Dialovers). Ame is in a contract with Karlheinz, The vampire king, The contract is for him to use her as a test subject and abide by his rule in return she is allowed to use his name when needed and was given a chance to go to the school that the other vampires went too. In doing that she met the vampires and somewhat bonded with few of them, Gaining relationships and other things with them all. Amethyst is not designed to be "cringey", She does have weaknesses even if it is impossible for her to die. Amethyst, Of course, Cannot be killed. She can die from a natural human like death but that is mainly old age. *She can die from something else but I am yet to develop what exactly can. But she has weaknesses.* * Such as in human form she is weaker and more prone to being damaged. In Guardian form she is almost invulnerable but due to her species she is pretty much harmless to most life forms. * Amethyst after coming back to human form needs twenty four hours to regenerate, In those hours she is weak, immobilised to the point of near paralysis, Light Headed and impossible to communicate too. * Another weakness of hers is her loved ones. Family, Friends, Lovers. She wouldn't bring herself to harming them and she would never forgive herself if she did by accident. It makes it an advantage to those that consider her an ally to turn cold and attack her. * Amethyst also during healing processes is paralysed and vulnerable to secondary attacks if need be. Amethyst on the other hand has many strengths * She has a very fast healing factor. * She is incredibly strong and fast. * She can hover if needed. * She can heal others and mend things with magic. * She can bring objects to life. * She has the power of telekinesis. * Obviously she can change her form to her Angel self, But only when necessary or forced.     Those are only few of her abilities, There are more but I am too freaking lazy to jot them down xD So there we are, Those are just some tiny bits of information for those that wanted to understand my character. As stated there is more information on my collection about her and I will be posting more trivia posts in the near future. This is a character I am going to keep and make one of my mains for this account. I would love to hear feed back for everyone on what I should maybe fix around and or what else I should write about next. Thank you to those that do read this! Ame out~! Also do not hesitate to ask me if you want to roleplay with this character as I am very happy to do so, I just don't do romance and I also have to be on my laptop to roleplay, Thanks again guys~! I use a game which is http://pochi.lix.jp/k_kisekae2.html

Quick Short Profile Information [ Name ] Amethyst. I don't really have a last name. [ Age ] Let's just say human wise I am seventeen years of age and leave it at that. [ Race ] Well, I guess I have to announce I am a Dimensional Guardian. So I'm basically something that looms around the dimension vortex and then gets thrown into different dimensions to guard it and live out a normal human life there. I have been assigned to the dimension of Diabolik Lovers and I think I am being condemned to protect it for eternity... How swell! [ Nationality ] I've picked the nationality of Australian! [ Sexuality ] Bisexual. If that helps. [ Gender ] This body wise I am a female. My real form also tends to look feminine but in reality none of us have actual sexes or genders. [ Height ] This form wise I am approximately one hundred and forty seven centimetres which is equivalent to four feet and eight inches in height. [ Weight ] That for a fact I am uncertain about... But by Yuuma's words I must be very light... Or he must be really strong. [ Body Type ] I have been cursed with this body. I'm short with very thick thighs... My legs seem longer than my damn torso which in fact has a bent spine. My spine sticks out in so I look like a freaking duck. I am rather thick as well... Chubbish? Yeah.. [ Breast Cup ] In this form it is possibly a very large C going towards D. [ Blood Type ] O positive or O negative. I forgot which one I am.. [ Zodiac Sign ] I am the water sign Pisces! [ Birth Date ] This body was created on the twenty sixth of February. [ Place of Birth ] I couldn't really say... I forgot as to which location it was but it was possibly in Australia somewhere. ============================================================== Background information If I remember correctly I decided to travel to Japan at around the human age of fifteen? Yeah. I abandoned my human family due to knowing my search was rather in a different location. I arrived and went to the location as to where these vampires lived. Upon going there I was stopped in my tracks by a man named Karlheinz... This so called man happened to be the King of Vampires and he offered me a deal which I accepted. I became the next possible wife of Karlheinz which wasn't the wisest idea for me. Hence why I have this collar on the majority of the time. Anyway, He taught me some things and enrolled me to the same school his sons went to. Obviously hoping to meet them I ended up encountering and being taken hostage by the two First Bloods. The youngest grew a fascination with me and bit me, Claiming me as his... Which was false because I was first bitten by Karlheinz... Ahem , The two first bloods eventually calmed down and took a liking for me taking me as their sister. After awhile they let me go back to school and then that is when I encountered the Mukami's and grew a connection with the second youngest brother, Yuuma. We became close friends and then closer... I guess Ruki saw this and dragged me away from my other, "Brothers" and took me in saying they where my new "brothers," I guess I didn't mind but I still went back to see Shin and Carla, They did save me after all. Yuuma and I grew a special connection in secret just before I had a rather off first encounter with the Sakamaki family, The same family that hosts my lover, Keah. I had befriended Keah after the fighting and I also became close with the red head male Ayato and Albino Subaru. I later managed to earn the favour of all of the brothers be it good or bad... When I found out about Keah and Reiji's secret relationship , Which was by getting to Reiji's inner nice side and having him blurt it out by accident, I didn't know exactly how to feel... A few years passed and now here I am in a relationship with the Vampire King's adoptive daughter, I have a relationship with Yuuma and I have been accepted by the Sakamaki's almost completely, Seeming I may be marrying their beloved sister sooner or later they are going to have to deal with it~ 

Nicknames Amethyst has gotten from the dialovers boys ~Sakamaki's~ Shuu : Duck, Cuddly-chan, Squishy, Walking chest/thigh pillows. Reiji : Panda or Little girl. Ayato : Duck Butt or Grapefruit titties Kanato : Ame-chan, eventually : little sis. Laito : Half Blood's Bitch, Scary Bitch. Subaru : Ame, Weirdo, Rabbit (Usually comes with cute). Kino : Ame, Woman. ~Mukami's~ Ruki : Goat, Llama or little sister. Kou : Little Sister, Angry Kitten, Panda-chan, Sometimes refer's to her as "Yuuma's Chew Toy". Yuuma : Ame, Baby Girl, Panda, Fishy (Referring to her star sign), Wolves Bitch (If he is pissed off with her.) Azusa : Little Sister, Ame-san, Angel-san. ~Tsukinami's~ Carla : Refers to her as "Our Sister" or "Our Possession", Little Sister, You (Rudely). Shin : Refers to her as "His" usually, Rabbit, Prey, Panda. 

[theoddcatlady]

Peeping Tom

When I was twelve years old I peeped into a girl’s window for the first and last time.

I lived in a pretty boisterous area of town, not too far away from the nearby college. Right down the street was a house leased to a group of maybe five to six girls. The neighborhood didn’t mind them, they didn’t have crazy parties or trash the place. In fact one of them had a habit of bringing my mom cookies, as a thank you for being so welcoming to the area.

It’s how my brother Elliot got the idea in the first place.

Carla was honestly really nice. Had a great smile, always had a joke to crack, and was even nice to me. However, Elliot had a different thought process, having two years of age on me and a little less respect.

“Carla has rainbow polka dot panties, you know.”

I nearly rolled off the top bunk of our shared bed. I poked my head down, eyes wide. “How do you know that?” I asked, baffled. Had her jeans slipped down a bit and he just took a peek?

Elliot shook his head no, his smile like the Cheshire Cat.

“I looked through her window last night. She’s a babe. I only gotta see her back, but… wow.” He breathed out, and if there hadn’t been a blanket in the way, I’m pretty sure I would’ve been able to tell how excited he was. “You’ve never thought about doing that, Archie?”

I shook my head no. Granted, I was more my mother’s child. I never really went over to dad’s, he just drunk beer and looked through magazines that had scantily dressed women on the front. Not my style.

“What, you gay or something?”

“No!” That, however, was not something that could pass.  

Elliot made a sound of disgust. “Ugh. Keep your gay shit away from me bro. Night.” He rolled over in bed.

The seed had been planted in my mind. I determined myself that tomorrow afternoon, I’d go look through Carla’s window.

So I did. I didn’t tell Elliot where I was going, I’d just tell him what color underwear Carla was wearing when I got back. He didn’t ask where I was going, he was too distracted with working on his newest model plane.

My heart pounding in my ears and my palms starting to sweat, I crossed the four backyards I needed to in order to get to Carla’s house.

Thankfully the neighborhood was pretty much dead and I got there without being spotted. Bent over, I started walking behind the house for the right window. I had no idea which was Carla’s bedroom, so I had to keep popping up real quick to see if anyone was inside.

The first window was a bust. No one was in there. Second window had another girl in there, I think her name was Beatrice, and she was napping. Fully dressed.

However, lucky number three, the third window I checked had Carla.

She was in an oversized sweater and jeans, writing at her desk. Her auburn curls hung past her shoulders, and she tapped her pencil against her pink glossed lips, deep in thought. She had no idea I was out there.

I had to admit, I was feeling the thrill. Crouched behind the windowsill, knowing at any moment, I could get caught. Quite an exhilarating feeling.

But soon I started to get bored. Carla was only working on homework, only pausing on occasion to scratch at her chest or back. Nothing like what Elliot saw. I was about to get up and go when Carla threw her arms up in the air and exclaimed, “That’s it!”

She stood up in a huff and practically ripped the sweater off.

First thing my preteen self noticed- she wasn’t wearing a bra. I forgot how to breathe. I’d never seen a pair of breasts before. And Carla’s set my standards high. Perky, symmetrical, and perfectly round. I’d gotten a step farther than my brother, and I couldn’t wait to shove that in his face.

Then I noticed the sore.

It was right in the center of her chest, right below the collarbone. The flesh around it was discolored, pale and almost green. The sore was a dip in otherwise smooth skin, and it looked terribly swollen. How the hell she managed to keep that terribly itchy looking sweater on for so long I have no idea.

Carla dug her fingers into the sore, and with a shout ripped it open.

Her skin from the sore to her shoulder came clean off like the breaded skin on a chicken wing.

I still don’t know how I didn’t scream or run away at that moment. I was frozen. Carla sighed, tipping her head back in relief. The torn flesh oozed yellow pus, and suddenly I was hit with the smell of rot. It was an overwhelming wave that made acid burn my throat and my eyes water.

With a deep breath, Carla set her hand on the wound and tore again. Her right breast fell to the ground with a wet slap. She’d only just begun. Using only her hands and fingernails, Carla clawed off skin and flesh all over her torso. She even ripped out her hair, dropping the ragged locks on the ground.

When she was finally done, she collapsed on her bed, gasping for breath. She’d peeled most of the skin off her top half, and her hair was only a few sparse patches left. She didn’t seem to be in pain at all. She seemed relieved. Like she’d finally scratched the itch.

Then she took off her pants.

I remember her panties. Lime green with tiny little frogs on them.

But the crotch was stained with blood. Diseased, brown blood.

I finally remembered I could run away. And I absolutely did. I took off down the street and once I was far enough down the street I screamed at the top of my lungs. The acid burning my throat finally spilled from my lips as I gagged and hurled the contents of my stomach on the ground. Yellow bile splattered against the ground and I was reminded of the pus. I threw up again.

That night I had nightmares of the skinless Carla crawling on top of me, wagging her remaining breast in my face and giggling like a hyena. Her pus dripped onto my lips and I was forced to swallow it. When I finally woke up, I’d found out I pissed the bed. I knew my brother could smell it from where he slept so I hurried to clean it up along with my pajamas so he wouldn’t have much to tease me with.

I thought I lucked out when I realized Elliot wasn’t in bed. That he’d gotten up to get breakfast or something.

I remember my mom walking in the room to ask why the washer was running, and then her eyes landed on the bottom bunk.

“… Archie? Where’s your brother?”

Four words that ended the life I knew.

It was all over the news- boy stolen from his own bed, remaining son left behind. My mother was on the news, sobbing and asking for the return of Elliot. She just wanted her baby boy back.

Search parties were held. Just in case he ran away from home. And I nearly shit myself when I saw Carla again among them.

It was like the whole skin ripping thing never happened. Even her hair was back to its normal thickness. She wrapped me in a hug and she smelled like coconut shampoo. Not even the slightest whiff of that awful rot remained.

We didn’t find Elliot for three months. When he turned up, it was in the creek.

My mother passed out when she identified what remained of Elliot’s blood stained pajamas.

Elliot had been gruesomely done in. His skull had been smashed open and the contents of his brain drained out. There was evidence of cannibalism on his thighs and stomach. I only found these things out because someone leaked it to the news.

I remember spending the night in Carla’s room while my mother was handling funeral arrangements.

I laid on a cot next to her, staring at the ceiling. I was still numb. What had happened to my brother? Why had someone hurt him?

“Ya know, Archie. I think someone wanted your brother to be found.”

I turned over in my cot, still dry eyed. Carla was sitting up in bed, wearing her adorable hello kitty pajamas. I shrugged.

“Does it matter?”

I remember Carla looking right at me, in the eyes.

“… Closure’s important. And… and if that person knew how much he hurt you, I bet he’d be super sorry. You’re a good kid.”

My stomach crawled as my mind played over and over again the smack of Carla’s breast on the floor.

I felt my eyes finally fill with tears.

“A… are you really sure they’re sorry?”

“Oh, Archie.” Carla swept in and wrapped her arms around me. This time, when she hugged me, I smelled it. I smelled the slightest bit of bittersweet rot.

“I’m sure they are the most sorry person in the world.”