#maybe selina and val?

[bloggerspam]

And here it is!!! the finale :D

Sorry if me switching back to my main blog is confusing. I did a poll, and it looks like ya'll want me to continue using my main blog, and then reblog onto my sideblog instead of the other way around. It was trial and error figuring that out, lemme tell ya, but this is the way it's going to be now!

Thanks for sticking with me through this transitional phase of me trying to figure out the best way to do the sideblog thing. I'll reblog/update masterlist tomorrow morning :)

Now onto the finale! @aug-kissed

Week 4: First Kiss

===

When Danny arrives home, shoulders a little slumped from how he was essentially booted out by Lucius for clocking in too many hours, his apartment is dark and the only source of light is the lone window in the living room. 

It’s an open space plan, the flickering streetlights below provide very little visibility, but Danny ignores it. He doesn’t need more to see, what with his powers and all, and he’s too tired and grumpy to do anything about it anyway.

He really wanted to get this particular part done, for the new wheelchair modifications he’s been working on, but Lucius just couldn’t wait 5 more minutes. 

“It’ll be there next week, Nightingale.” Lucius had said to him as he tossed Danny’s bag at his face. “Besides, you’ve been saying five more minutes for an hour. It’s late. Go home.” 

Danny huffs, thinking about how he was veritably dragged and pushed out. Lucius had shoved Danny’s jacket into his arms in a way that effectively had him wrapped up, and he was deposited into a company paid taxi with an expertise the older man no doubt got from handling Bats. 

Putting aside the humiliation of being treated as one of those nosy vigilantes, Danny’s more miffed at the fact that he’s going to be thinking about that unfinished part all weekend now.

Maybe Tuck will have a new target for him? Or he could visit Sam and Val, go to the shooting range or something. Maybe visit Jazz and Ellie—a smile curves into his cheeks, or maybe he could see a certain pretty birdy…

He thinks about his options for distraction as he puts away his things. Shoes off, bag and jacket on the hook, keys in the tray. Just like Jazz taught him. 

He’s about to wander into the kitchen, see if there are any leftovers, when he notices it: an american robin, perched just outside his window on the fire escape rail.

There’s something…Other about it, the plumage of the little bird is more distinct in color: the red of its belly a little more red, brighter, as opposed to the usual orange its kind usually sports. The gray parts of it, around its head and wings, are darker, blacker. Its eyes give it away: they glow a little yellow, almost a trick of the light, like they’re simply reflecting the streetlights.

But Danny knows Other, so he approaches the little bird with a probably ill-advised sort of confidence and curiosity. Can curiosity still kill you if you’re already dead most of the way? But it's a moot point regardless: he’s a Cat, and he has a soft spot for Robins. 

He opens the window to step out with a grace he’s still surprised with, even after all these years. Sometimes he still feels like that 14 year old boy, stumbling his way through halfa-dom and vigilantism. Look at him now, a cat through and through. Thank the Gods for Selina Kyle.

He reaches out towards the bird as it tilts its head, but before he can make contact it flutters away towards a rooftop two buildings away, perching itself delicately upon a dainty finger. Following the hand he spots a woman standing there, looking away and smiling as she tucks her hair back against the wind. She’s familiar, but it still takes him a moment before the memory comes back. She looks very different, after all, when she’s not tied up and crying her eyes out.

Anastasia’s eyes glow yellow now, just for a moment, and then a black and white cat steps into existence beside her on the ledge. It rubs up on her as it passes to sit primly next to the hand holding the illusionary Robin, one eye green as emeralds and the other a watery ocean blue. 

The Cat and Robin nuzzle, which makes Danny smile. The meta woman vanishes the two, and even from far away Danny can see her smile, the way she mouths thank you as she twirls a finger to subtitle it with glowing white text in the air. A neat little trick that makes Danny chuckle. 

She hasn’t looked his way once, no doubt given strict instructions from the mastermind of all this. She points down, once, twice, before turning away with a wave over her shoulder, disappearing into the night just like her lovely illusions. 

Danny looks down, his smile growing as he spots a little business card taped to his balcony railing. One side has a time and a place embossed into it, just like the one Stray left. 

And just like the one Stray left, when Danny flips it over there’s a bright red kiss mark on it. 

He remembers sticking around, intangible and invisible, and feeling butterflies running havoc in his stomach as he watched Red Robin kiss his mark. It made him reach out, caress the vigilante, just a little, before snatching his hand back. Red Robin probably already suspected Danny’s not a normal human, but there was no need to be obvious about it—a true moment of weakness had overcome him. 

Danny knows the vigilante is watching him from somewhere, so he presses his barely contained smile against the mark, eyes closed and savoring, hoping Tim feels even a fraction of those butterflies Danny felt all those nights ago.

At least he has a plan for the weekend now, and something new to occupy his mind until then. 

===

The Gotham Museum was relatively empty for a sunny Sunday afternoon. 

The locals must be taking advantage of the rare nice weather to head to the various parks instead. Not that Danny was complaining in the least. The lack of crowds was nice, and meant that Danny found a free bench to sit and wait at fairly easily. 

The Museum has been hosting a special exhibit for the past couple weeks, a Halloween Special for the month of October. A whole slew of historical artifacts that were deeply entrenched in mysteries of the past, remnants of serial killers that never got caught, paintings and art based on spiritualism—on the occult and macabre. 

It seems like a bad idea, bringing that kind of juju into Gotham, but so far nothing bad has come of it. The people of Gotham have mostly just enjoyed the novelty of it, especially since it’s in line with the season. Danny himself has lightly scouted it before, to see if anything was worth stealing (there wasn’t). But he didn’t get to truly enjoy it, and hasn’t really had the time to revisit it in the light of day.

There’s something so very sweet of Tim to take Danny here for their first date, and hilarious considering what type things Stray as stolen. A spooky museum date may seem like in bad taste, but Danny lives for it. Tim must have done his research, which Danny appreciates. He’s always enjoyed how intensely curious the other man is, how thorough he is when he dissects his cases as Red Robin, how every corner is inspected in his work as co-CEO of WE.

It makes Danny shiver, thinking about that focus on him. Danny likes being a mystery, and he likes that Tim would like to pick him apart down to his minutiae. It’s thrilling. 

A breeze blows by, causing Danny to adjust himself lest he have an incident. He’s opted for a dressy kind of casual today, with a long sleeved button up shirt, midnight blue with gold constellation patterns littered about it. It’s tucked into a high waisted dark brown pleated skirt that goes down to his ankles, with a thick leather belt that has a gold buckle. He’s chosen to wear black tights underneath, in accordance to the weather despite the fact that he doesn’t really feel the cold anymore, with chunky platform boots. 

He accessorized the entire outfit with a variety of gold chains, because Danny can’t resist a good theme. He has them around his neck where the ring of rage and crown and fire hang in shrunken form, on his wrist in a delicate bracelet, from the top of his ear to the lobe of it—connecting the cuff and dangly star earrings he’s put in. Even his bag, an over the shoulder number that’s shaped like a midnight blue and gold star, has a thick gold chain strap. He’s even done a little make up: mascara and a light concealer, with of course a bright bright red lip. 

He’s unexpectedly nervous, but before he can really truly spiral a shadow dips into his periphery. 

Danny has seen Timothy Drake-Wayne at galas before, many times even, whenever he’s dragged to one with Sam. The co-CEO has always looked so sharp, clean cut, like the very tip of a freshly cut diamond gem. It’s always long crisp lines and white picket fence smiles, genial and open, an American Dream. 

But here, in the autumn sun and October breeze, it’s just Tim who has come for him.  

A sweet boy with a sweet smile, a gleam to his eye that spells trouble—charming in how dorky and boyish he is. He’s wearing an MIT sweater over a forest green button down, the collar of it just as crisp as his gala suits but softened with his slightly messy hair. He’s got on some clearly ironed khaki shorts and tall white socks with a green accent on them, with some white sneakers to go with the whole fit. It’s simple, but clean. 

He looks like any other college student, just a little dressed up, if Danny didn’t know his shoes were $600 Alexander McQueen leather sneakers and that the watch he’s wearing cost more than his rent. Not to mention that he knows for a fact that Timothy Drake-Wayne is a high school dropout. It’s a subtle kind of rich, and a funny little joke besides—did the other man buy that sweater because MIT is Tim backwards? Though Danny does appreciate the bright yellow UNIQLO shoulder bag, it’s a bright little spot of color that makes him smile. It’s even nicer that Tim smiles back at him. 

“Hello, Pretty Kitty.” Tim’s voice is light, and he has this look about him that reminds Danny of a puppy waiting to be praised. Danny isn’t fooled by the I’m just a Guy demeanor—he can see the way his eyes dart this way and that, surveilling their surroundings. The way he eyes Danny head to toe with an appreciation, a hunger—it makes him shiver, the way Tim’s eyes eventually fixate on his lips. Old money nepo baby or not, there’s no doubt the vigilante is always hidden under the surface—a sleeping bird of prey. 

Tim offers him a hand up, which he takes, and is delighted to note that with his boots he’s an inch or two taller. He also notices, with the way other man’s eyes go a little half-lidded, that Tim seems to be equally delighted about it too. Danny flips their clasped hands so that his own is cupping Tim’s, and brings it to his lips to kiss lightly on the back of it, keeping eye contact the entire time just so he can see the other man’s eyes dilate in pleasure. 

Danny’s heart flutters. “Hello, Handsome Bird.” 

===

The date is good—no, the date is phenomenal. 

It��s fun going around the museum with Tim, making fun of the more absurd artifacts, sharing anecdotes of their strange night lives and even more bizarre day lives. 

Neither of them are delusional—Danny knows Tim did extensive research on him, on his history and clearly doctored life, just as he knows that Tim knows Danny did the same.

Tim didn’t have to keep making little allusions to Danny’s previous life, but the throwaway comment about it not being the first time Tim has taken down an organization was appreciated. And hot. 

He might take him up on that, though with how incompetent the GIW are it’s hardly necessary. Val seems to be having fun running circles around them back home anyway. Though Jazz might like not having that worry on her plate, no matter how small of a worry it was. 

Danny gives as good as he gets, taking Tim by the hand to drag him close, whispering in his ear and making little comments referencing Tim’s other life, his siblings, making little jokes about dads and their interesting hobbies. A fursona is mentioned, once or twice, just to make Tim laugh at the little hypocrisy.

Danny is not going to lie, especially not to himself: he was scared when he decided to take the leap. It was a gamble, actually doing something with the tension between Stray and Red Robin. There was no guarantee that Tim would have accepted Danny in all his weird, half ghost bullshit. 

But when Red Robin had cornered him that night, about his M.O., about why Stray stole the things he did, well. It led to Tucker doing a deep dive. It led to Sam sharing her suspicions about a certain Crime Fighting Furry from when she was forced to all those galas as a kid. It led to Danny connecting dots about one, if not both, of his indirect bosses. It led to the conclusion that eventually, something was going to give. 

Because Red Robin was relentless, and knowing that the vigilante and Timothy Drake Wayne were one and the same? They would be fools not to see that the end was nigh. 

So he took the chance, and Gods, is he happy he did. 

“There’s a diner just around the corner,” Tim is saying, gesturing with his free hand as he guides Danny outside the Museum with the other hand gently braced against his lower back, “One of the chefs is Indian, so even though most of the menu is American, they’ve got some tasty fusions going on for the more adventurous sort.”

Danny can’t help but smile at Tim’s enthusiasm, a little surprised that he even knows Danny likes Indian food. It’s a little above and beyond, some might even say too far, but considering who they are and what they do? It’s sweet that Tim would look into the littlest things for their date. 

The walk to the diner is short and pleasant, if a little cold. It gives Danny the excuse to snuggle up to Tim and watch a little blush light up on ears and neck, which charms Danny to no end. 

When they’re seated at a booth, Danny decides to slide in next to Tim, instead of across. That seems to throw Tim off a bit, by the way his face scrunches up cutely. Danny bypasses it by simply lifting the other man’s left arm to fit himself snugly against him, which quickly cuts off anything Tim might have said about it as he pulls Danny just that little bit closer.

Tim orders a chicken fried curry and grits, and Danny orders a burger with an order of garam masala spiced onion rings. Danny takes particular joy in feeding Tim one, as well as insisting on two straws for his Chai Milkshake.

It’s surprisingly good, and exceedingly cute how shy Tim is, considering how touchy they’ve been with each other. 

Danny is practically sitting in his lap, and Tim keeps fiddling with Danny’s hair, the nape of his neck, running his fingers down Danny’s side causing little shivers. It's frankly impressive how Tim manages to eat curry with one hand and pet at Danny with his left simultaneously, all while holding a conversation with Danny. 

Danny settles back onto Tim’s shoulder when they’re done and waiting for dessert (a slice of mango lassi pie for him, a slice of coconut cream pie for Tim). They’re talking lowly now, making abstract references to their night lives, when Danny notices a fading mark just below Tim’s collar. 

He twists slightly, still leaning on Tim, hooking his finger into the vigilante’s collar and tugging a little before gently pressing a finger against this. 

“It hasn’t faded yet?” Danny whispers, because it’s his mark, he knows it, recognizes it now. 

“Thankfully not,” Tim grasps Danny’s probing hand into his, smiling softly. “Haven’t stopped thinking about you since I got them. I only wish…”

“Wish what?” Danny hums as Tim trails off, transfixed by the way Tim has brought his hand up to nuzzle against it, the corner of Tim’s lips tracing a long line down from the tips of his fingers to the sensitive inside of his wrist. 

“Wish I did the same—left you a gift to remember me by, I mean.” Those dark blue eyes, like royal blue sapphire, never stray from Danny’s, almost hypnotizing him. 

“That’s an easy fix, isn’t it?” Danny breathes out, zeroing in on how Tim’s lips are pressed against his wrist now, not quite kissing, before they open just slightly. He can feel Tim’s breath, warm and soft, as he smirks and slowly latches on. 

It should be awkward, watching a man suck a hickey into your wrist. It isn’t—it’s so hot Danny can barely even stand it, and is about to do something about it.

That is, until the waitress comes by with their dessert. Danny blinks, and suddenly Tim is all charming smiles and hands in laps, thanking the waitress and cheekily smirking at him as he brings up a spoonful of pie to feed Danny.

Danny takes his revenge by eating the pie as sinfully as he can. 

If the way Tim keeps eying him like a hawk and insisting to feed Danny himself is anything to go by, he succeeds. 

It’s a hollow victory, however, if you consider the way Danny’s face doesn’t seem to cool down the entire rest of the date, especially whenever he catches sight of the hickey on his wrist.

He’ll call it a draw.

===

Danny lifts a hand to cradle Tim’s cheek, gentle as he can manage, keeping his fingertips away in habit despite the lack of gloves and claw. Tim brings his own hand up to cup Danny’s hand as he nuzzles into the palm of it. Danny’s heart is loud enough he’s afraid the whole building will come down, even more so when Tim turns into Danny’s palm, lifting it slightly to kiss the hickey he left there at dinner, lingering and never taking his eyes away from Danny’s. 

“Can I kiss you?” Danny’s voice is barely a whisper but it feels like it echoes through the empty hallway. Tim grins at him, a little bashful and cheeky at the same time, no doubt remembering the last time this question came up between them. 

“Handsome guy like you? I’d be a fool not to let you.” Danny grins back at Tim’s response, feeling his eyes blink green briefly, flashing a little fang and catching the way Tim’s eyes dilate just that bit more. He slides his other hand up, hooking his arms around Tim’s neck to bring him a little closer. 

“You are hardly a fool, Tim Drake-Wayne.” They both lean in, hard to say who does it first, and Danny finally, finally gets to taste that smirk Red Robin loves to flash when he thinks he’s won. 

It tastes sweet, the sweetest thing Danny’s ever tasted. 

They savor each other, before Danny gets a little impatient, kitten licking at the seam of Tim’s lips. The other man grants him access easily, and that—that tastes even better. 

They quickly get lost in each other, in the feel of each other. Danny distantly recognizes that he’s been pushed up against his front door, that Tim’s hand is sliding from his upper back down, slowly, leaving a burning trail of heat behind. He feels that hand push against his lower back, bringing him closer, and Danny’s okay with that, more than okay even—

And then suddenly the pressure of the door behind him is gone, and he’s being walked backwards. Danny blinks out of the haze of wet and heat, tilting his head up and panting as Tim licks at the sweat on his neck, realizing that Tim has lockpicked his way through Danny’s front door. One-handed. 

“Why the fuck is that so hot—” Danny groans as Tim bites a a particularly vicious hickey into his shoulder, getting cut off as his lips are once more consumed. 

The door is kicked closed, and the next thing he knows Tim has turned them around to slam Danny back against the front door and latch onto his neck again. 

“Lockpicking turns on the thief, who would have thought?” Tim laughs, voice raspy and only a little wrecked, which is unfair because that is a lot of coherence going on when Danny’s kind of a mess. “Besides, I didn’t want to give your neighbors a free show—wanna keep you to myself.” 

Danny melts a little as Tim, feather light, runs the back of his finger against Danny’s cheek where he knows a blush is fiercely painted on his face from the consideration. Danny doesn’t remember being this flustered or hazy when he was the one giving the hickeys, but then again, Stray has always been more confident than Danny has ever been. 

He tries to channel a bit of Stray now, arching up and looking at Tim from under his eyelashes. It’s a feat, considering he still hasn’t taken off his shoes and is still taller than him. He’s delighted to note that Tim has a smear of red lipstick all over his lips and a part of his cheek. 

“If you wanted a show, all you had to do was ask, Red.” Danny feels Tim freeze, his other hand gripping at Danny’s waist tightening just a little bit before letting go as if being careful not to leave bruises. Danny feels a little thrill crawl up his spine, because oh does he want bruises. 

Danny smoothly slips out of Tim’s arms (without even using his powers!), getting to work. By the time Tim has gotten his wits about him to turn around, Danny already has his shoes off with a hand braced on the corner wall, peeking back out with a little cheeky grin, pointing at the other man’s feet.

“No shoes in bed, darling.” Danny starts shedding his jewelry and belt, heading towards his bedroom with a little skip in his step and a hum in his throat. 

He hears Tim scrambling to take his shoes off behind him, and smiles in victory as he unbuttons his shirt. Hands latch onto his waist, causing Danny to gasp as Tim lavishes with more kisses to the neck, growling a little about teasing little Cats as he’s turned and backed up onto the bed. There’s a frantic push and pull, as clothes get tossed away amidst Danny’s giggles and Tim’s laughter, as kisses get stolen and hands roam this way and that. 

There’s a moment where he catches a glimpse of them in the vanity mirror next to his bed. The smeared lipstick and bitten marks all over his neck and shoulders, hair a disheveled mess as Tim licks his way down down down. He loses himself to the feeling of it, drifting away with only a single thought beyond good and yes and more:

Gods, does Red look so good on him.

Kitten Kisses

DCxDP : Dead Tired, Stray!Danny Phantom, love square identity shenanigans (sort of)

Week 1: Indirect Kiss

===

There is a security camera set up at Tim’s desk. 

It’s mostly to ensure that Tim actually leaves his desk, nowadays, but the genuine concern was something nobody really thought could qualify as a necessity. 

Tim is young, but it’s undeniable that he’s a genius. Sadly, that did not mean certain visitors or members of the board didn’t take his age as carte blanche to just rummage around in his desk for no reason. 

After the 5th time Tim noticed his things had been moved (they would have found nothing, Tim was very meticulous regarding Wayne Enterprises documents) something had to give. 

So. Security camera. 

After the first month of its implementation, nobody was fool enough to get caught over some useless files and a surprisingly thoroughly encrypted computer system. Nobody important, at least. 

Babs likes to hack into it, sometimes, to make sure Tim is home on time and not working late. Bruce sometimes hacks in just to check in, watch him work or eat because he was a creep, but Tim can hardly throw such large rocks from his glass house. For the most part, it’s more decoration than anything. 

Until tonight, that is. Tim gets a little ping! signaling movement at his WE desk. He’s just gotten home from patrol, mask already off and cape halfway unclipped with hastily ungloved hands.

Perplexed by the midnight alert, Tim pulls up the feed onto his set up at home. There’s hardly anything worth hacking into, considering the computer there is more of a remote in type of system, rather than an actual computer to be used like the one at the Nest.

And yet still. There they are. Tim would recognize that silhouette anywhere: Stray. 

He watches as, at first, only that skin tight black suit with white accents entered the screen, the rogue thief’s toned torso curved alluringly, signature white clawed gloves lightly scraping along the desk as he travels from one end to the other—not hard enough to leave any trace, but enough for the skrrrrch rasp out. 

There’s a tap of a claw, before the screen fills as Stray bends over, and gods, what a sight that is to see. Stray has an almost prehensile cat’s tail, and it swayed and curled over itself in a way that seemed hypnotic. Long glowing white hair that falls over his shoulder with two black tufted cat ears that seems to actually move, eyes barely visible behind bright neon green goggles—but most importantly a new addition: blood red lipstick. 

Tim stares as those red, red lips curve into a smile, whispering a soft “Hey, Red. Miss me?”

Tim can feel his pulse jump, because he did. He really did. 

They’ve been dancing around each other, ever since the vigilante figured out Stray’s M.O. 

The rogue was only stealing paranormal artifacts, or objects that were stolen via grave robbing. None of the other Bats had figured it out until Tim had told them, considering Stray’s first few hits were on a handful of Rich People. The items were so scattered, and had nothing of real importance that could connect them. 

But the Rich were angry, and though that was hardly anything to be alerted by, it made for an ornery work environment. The Bats hadn’t stepped up, hadn’t felt the need to, until certain museums were getting hit too. A couple civilians even, here or there, until finally something was stolen from Batman himself—something they had kept at Wayne Enterprises to be handed over to Constantine for analysis.

Selina was no help either, simply stating that every cat’s got to have their secrets—all but confirming that the new rogue on the scene was Selina’s. 

Red Robin had cornered Stray, or rather, Stray had let him, and they almost—there was a moment…But then Catwoman had come, urgent, saying something about a sister. 

And then Stray hadn’t been seen in weeks.

Tim shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts from the fog those cherry red lips cast over him. Still, he can’t help but say yes. Even if only in his mind. 

“I missed you, dolled myself up and everything,” those sinful red lips do a little pout as a delicate claw twirls a strand of that silky hair, conjuring up so many images that Tim involuntarily stands up, as if to immediately leave. “Doesn’t red look so good on me?”

Fuck, but it does. And then it clicks. Hastily, Tim taps a couple buttons, reclipping his cape and putting his mask back on. Once his gloves are back on he pulls up the feed onto his phone, grappling his way over to his office as if being chased.

Because if Stray was at Tim Wayne’s desk, calling him Red through the feed, that meant—that meant he knew.

“Sadly, I can’t stay.” Red Robin vaults out the Nest, keeping half an eye on the feed as those pouty lips talk to him, watching as Stray perches himself delicately on the desk. There’s a sly smile now, though Tim can’t help but follow the long lines of the rogue’s body instead, with his legs crossed, leaning on one delicately clawed hand, head tilted coquettishly.

“But I’ve got a present for you, loverboy.” Red is almost there, just a couple blocks away, as Stray pulls out what looked like a business card with the hand he isn’t leaning on, bringing it up to those distracting red lips. 

“I heard you like games!” Stray bares his teeth in a fanged smile, “Find me, and it’s a date.”

Red Robin is on the WE building now, scaling down to break into the usual window, silently prowling his way quickly through the halls. He watches as Stray winks, giving the card a little kiss. When he grins Red could see the rouge was smeared a little, and somehow that made it so much more enticing. Stray places the card back on the desk before smoothly getting up and exiting stage left just as the vigilante skids to an arrival in front of his office door. 

He burst into the office, only to find it empty. He immediately went to the nearest window, trying to spot the rogue, but as always Stray is quick to disappear without a trace. RR suspects that Stray is some kind of meta, but hasn't gathered enough evidence yet. 

Out of leads, he swiftly makes his way to his desk, where the business card lay innocently, face down. On the back of it, a tantalizing red lip mark. 

Red picks it up, turning it over to see a time and place typed onto it—an invitation, then, not a business card at all. He stares for a second, feeling a smile grow on his face, before he flips the card over again to stare at the kiss mark. 

He brings the card to his lips, softly kissing it, eyes closed and content. He can almost feel the warmth left over, feel a hand caress his neck along his spine. Soon. 

He tucks the card into one of the pockets on his belt, feeling excited and suddenly rejuvenated. 

Maybe he could do another loop—maybe a couple, he doesn’t care—before getting back to the Nest to research. 

He has a date to score, and research is so much easier when he doesn’t have to deal with euphoria. 

[mainecoon76]

Dear (German or geographically near) Tolkienites, I know it’s verrrrrry early, but I’ve been talking to @tobiotic and considering whether or not to buy tickets for MagicCon - likely not, because the Middle Earth Special of the Medieval Fantasy Con is one week later and I can’t do both. (It probably means that there’ll be even less Tolkien at the MC, too, if people go to the MFC instead.)

So: are any of you already planning to go to the Middle Earth event in Solingen, or considering it? It’s 4th & 5th of May, 2019. 

Here’s the link. (German, though.)

[slaapkat]

Did you see the Batman? What do you think about it?

i sure did </3

First of all. Wildly mediocre to outright bad. I have no idea what movie everyone else on here saw but it sure wasn’t the same one I did. “This batman isn’t for the fanboys” “this is the first real Batman” “this is the one true emo bruce wayne” shut up and just admit you’ve never seen a single batman movie before this. the batman somehow manages to be even more film bro than the nolanverse films. Jesus Christ the movie is three hours long and for WHAT. every single scene dragged on for an age and a half.

imo Bruce Wayne is as much an important factor in a batman work as batman itself. here bruce Wayne’s most prominent scene is the funeral/memorial in which he maybe has two lines max and otherwise just stands around looking greasy. other than that he has what? 2-3 short scenes mumbling to himself in the batcave and another short scene visiting alfred in the hospital. in this THREE HOUR LONG movie he spends the entire rest of the time as batman. you could feasibly take every single scene where he’s not in costume out of the movie and barely affect the plot or runtime. JUST batman is so incredibly boring. it’s also no wonder every single fandom and batfam person on here just immediately latched onto this version of bruce because he literally barely exists as a character and thus he’s just fully a blank slate to project anything you want onto.

god also he’s batman the whole movie and doesn’t do a single actual batman thing except for the ONE singular scene towards the end when he’s in the elevator. that’s it. every other time he just straight up walks out of the shadows. no finesse. no panische. boring. “Oh it’s supposed to be more noir detective inspired” well this ain’t it chief. he sucks at it. this is supposed to be The Batman.

the soundtrack is completely forgettable and the whole ave maria motif/theme is more annoying and distracting than anything else. all the costume design is horrendously ugly from the jigsaw gimp mask riddler to the dollar story catwoman cosplay selina. collin ferril honestly could have been a better penguin without all those godawful and ugly prosthetics. he was WASTED on the Penguin and was literally just him in name only. the studio wouldn’t even let him SMOKE. he barely did anything in the movie either and you could honestly take him out entirely and also change nothing. and yet he’s getting his own entire hbo show. for some reason.

pattinson as batman himself is also completely devoid of personality or character. i keep seeing these posts about how he has the best character development arc in a long time and how that how scene with the flare is about him inspiring HOPE and ACCEPTING HIS TRUE ROLE AS BATMAN and im just. lmao okay. sure. battinson is barely more than a cardboard cutout of himself the entirely of the movie. matt Reeves tried SO hard to hit that noir angle and missed the mark entirely.

anyways. that’s what I can remember to complain about as of this moment. i only saw the movie because my dad wanted to. i really would rather watch all three nolanverse films than this because at least christian bale can actually act. and! even his bruce wayne is far more enjoyable.

as an aside, my personal ranking of the various bats

1. ben affleck

2. val Kilmer

3. George Clooney (he made batman gay)

4. Michael Keaton

5. Christian Bale

Adam West ranks too far above absolutely everyone to demean him by being listed alongside everyone else. he’s in his own category.

[davidmann95]

Comics this week (4/21/2021)?

Superman: Red and Blue #2: I got the sweet David Choe variant cover I was hoping for! A win. The Seagle/Douleau/Brosseau story was...odd, character-wise, the Brown/Cowan/Stanisci/Sotomayor/Sharpe story was a fun adventure with some neat ideas but felt surprisingly light given this was the first use of Val-Zod in however long, the Phillips/Zarcone/Leigh story was the exact story you’re always going to get with every Superman anthology ever from now until the end of time, and the Howard/Napolitano final entry was fun and also happened to nail pretty much exactly how I’d like Cyborg Superman to be portrayed. The clear standout however was Dan Panosian’s Luthor story, a total hoot.

Justice League #60: We’re starting to get rolling on the vibe of the team dynamic here if not especially the plot, but keep giving me those pretty Marquez drawings over Bendis-chatter and those delightful V/Xermanico Justice League Dark backups and I’m more than good.

Catwoman #30: Ok I kept saying I was waiting for V and Blanco’s tack for this run to reveal itself, and that it’s “Selina WANTS to be in a nice Brubaker/Cooke run where she’s comfy, but dopey Batman shit keeps creeping in around the edges and fucking with her equilibrium” is basically EXACTLY what I want to see. And that double pager from Blanco? Baby.

Batman vs. Ra’s Al Ghul #6: I’d reread this if I thought it’d explain anything that happened, but I know it wouldn’t and for that I’m grateful. Could this live up to being the sequel to Batman: Odyssey? No. Is there still an extended sequence where Neal Adams characters, who speak and act like Neal Adams characters, perform a science demonstration? Yes. God, yes.

Haha #4: I liked this one! Definitely the least Ice Cream Man thing Prince has written since he started that, which I note mainly because everything else about his work remains at a steady rate of high quality so it’s that variation that most stands out.

Radiant Black #3: Ok, it’s got me sold through at least the three remaining issues of what’ll be the first trade. This is the most the superhero stuff and the personal work have felt like they meshed, and also the most interested I’ve been in the former thus far.

Ultramega #2: Aw yeah, we’re on that good worldbuilding kick I’m here for.

Orphan and the Five Beasts #2: This issue pivots on the most hilariously nightmarish twist I’ve seen in comics in god knows how long and I am enthralled, even with Stokoe firing on all cylinders I don’t know how he intends to match this issue in the remaining issues.

The Many Deaths of Laila Starr #1: The title on critics’ lips this week, this takes a well-worn “what if a higher being had to live among us miserable meatsacks and learn how rough things can be down here” premise and manages to not just reinvigorate it, but set it up with legs that look like they’ll be carrying it forward for a ways to come. The star of the show is Filipe Andrade, who pivots sharply between rendering the divine mundane and the standard bursting with energy as serves the scene; he actually gave me a bit of a Nick Dragotta vibe here, though the end product is something entirely his own. Not quite my favorite of the week as I know it was for a lot of folks, but I’m in for wherever the long haul takes us.

The Mighty Valkyries #1: I’ve been hoping since Gronbekk started that we’d see more of her clear potential as she was hopefully given more opportunities, and this issue represents a titanic leap in that direction - I was already impressed, but there’s a steady hand and conceptual boldness here that’s leaps and bounds beyond what she was already doing and I’m so glad this book is back to give her the chance to flex these emerging muscles.

Carnage: Black, White & Blood #2: The Zdarsky/Checchetto and V/Fernandez stories are both solid, but this isn’t anybody’s best work.

Avengers #45: Ahh, this is what I was starting to miss from this book. It isn’t good, but it’s definitely the exact kind of high-concept brain droppings Aaron’s versed in that effortlessly short-circuit any normal sense of good taste I might possess.

S.W.O.R.D. #5: I’m following multiple X-Men books, and enjoying seeing threads cross between them. Incredible. Is this what it’s normally like for people who dig these? I can’t see it being enough to build an entire comics-reading identity around them, but it’s a treat nonetheless.

Way of X #1: As someone with complicated feelings on X-Men: Legacy and very uncomplicated feelings on how great Doctor Nemesis is I was really looking forward to what Spurrier would do here, and honestly? One issue in and this feels a lot closer to what I want out of Hickman’s X-Men than that book itself has often delivered. This feels like the perfect balance of what I want out of these books and what people who like X-Men comics *not* by Morrison or Hickman want, and while there’s no way it’ll get the audience it deserves I hope it’ll at least get a sizable enough fraction of it to see it go as long as all involved please.

Eternals #4: An extremely good and dense issue, maybe my favorite in a week with some stupendous competition, that I just don’t have a ton to say about - its virtues are self-evident and we already know that this book is great and the specific kind of great it is. My biggest personal item of note that’s not immediately obvious is that it’s with this issue that it clicked for me for the first time that the expressions Esad Ribic gives his characters remind me a bit of Steve Dillon’s.

[blackbatpurplecat]

Catwoman 80th Anniversary

In 1940, one of the now most popular comic book heroes of all time got his very first solo run. It would become a milestone in comic book history. But he wasn’t the only one who had a chance to shine. In that premiere issue, even TWO of his most famous antagonists would be introduced: The man who laughs and the woman who steals.

That woman was intended to become the love of the hero’s life. The good guy and the naughty girl, the appeal was palpable. However, she wasn’t just a love interest or a generic thief or only another villain in the ever growing gallery of rogues the hero would face over decades to come, no - she was quite the character.

Her first alias was “The Cat” which would ultimately become Catwoman. Selina Kyle, the best thief in the world, a literal cat burglar, a classy seductress and queen of sass. And fans loved her so much that over time, she grew to become just as famous as the hero.

Her story has had its ups and downs. Mostly ups. ;) Going from the pages of the comics to the little and the big screen in the 60s, then she disappeared for a while, then made a comeback. She married the hero and had a child, though that marriage was later rebooted and was followed by a depressing origin story a sexist author made up for her in the 80s.

The 90s then turned out to be her decade! She found herself on the TV screen again, animated this time. She was portrayed by a Golden Globe winner on the big screen again. And she finally got her very own solo run in comics.

Her solo title was successful enough to run for over 20 years, a time in which her development from antagonist to anti-heroine would pan out. She would be a member of several teams, dance on both sides of the law, and even have another child. The screen called her back in form of a movie and a tv show. In one she was a thief with a love for killing, in the other a teenager. And we already know that her movie career will soon continue with two more projects.

In 2016, DC rebooted their entire universe. Catwoman’s origin story was changed, her relationships were lost, her solo run got canceled. No one knew what was real anymore - and fans didn’t like it. Only a year later, a retcon followed in a pathetic attempt to restore a status quo fans were familiar with and approved of. Even her solo run came back and today, in June 2020, we celebrate her 80th anniversary!

Catwoman is my favorite DC character ever. She’s clever, she’s funny, she’s stubborn, she’s classy, she’s confident, she plays by her own rules. When written right, she is such an entertaining character, unpredictable and fun.

In 80 years, there have been countless appearances, so many incarnations and interpretations of her - sure, I didn’t like all of them but you can say there’s something for each one of us. You don’t like her in the 2010s? Check out the 90s. You don’t like her in the 40s? Check out the 80s. There’s a version of Catwoman for many different tastes. She never goes out of fashion.

So to celebrate one of DC’s most famous women, they published a collection of 10 stories in total, written and drawn by people who have had touched her character over the past years.

Did Catwoman 80th Anniversary - Celebrating Eight Decades of Beauty and Burglary do her justice?

Warning: Spoilers!

Let’s check out each story and see what the writers came up with for this very special occasion. Except for one, none of these are meant to be canon, it’s just a collection of shorts meant to emphasise why Catwoman is so good. Something I noticed was that each writer had not picked any Catwoman to write but “their” Catwoman. A nice detail. Consistency, why not? Write what you feel comfortable and familiar with. This can only help with the quality of the stories, right? ... Right? ...

Strap in folks, this is going to be a LOOOOONG post!

Story #1: Skin the Cat by Paul Dini

Selina’s just living her normal life with her cats, occasionally stealing some money and jewels. Hey, a girl’s gotta eat. ;) What catches her attention are news reports about stolen big cats. I’m a cat lover myself and this series of crimes would worry me just as much as it worries Selina. She deduces where in Gotham someone could hide those wild cats, breaks in, and is welcomed by an eerie voice - as well as the taxidermied cats. Fucking bastard... The villain Taxidermist, quelle surprise, is behind the cat murders. He now intends to gas Selina and add her to his cat collection but Selina reveals that she’d already turned off the gas before breaking in. She escapes his long knives and watches as three big cats she had brought with her attack and kill him.

What an intro! A story about Selina’s love for cats and her strategic thinking. I really liked the first half! But once the Taxidermist shows up, it loses itself in drawn out exposition. Selina goes on a long monologue to explain to the reader who the Taxidermist is, how she knew it was him, how she turned off the gas, and how she replaced three of the dead cats with alive ones. I would have preferred to actually SEE her preparations for the face-off in flashback panels instead of having to read it. It didn’t feel natural at all. Also how the fuck did she bring 3 wild cats and switch them for the stuffed ones?! How?! And when?! I’m also quite sad that she didn’t get to save the cats. That was a bummer. So all she basically did was bring 3 big cats to kill a killer.

The art’s gorgeous, nothing else to say here!

6/10

Story #2: Now You See Me by Ann Nocenti

Ann Nocenti’s name immediately made me go uh-oh... Her bad and convoluted writing style made readers drop the Catwoman books which eventually lead to the solo run’s cancelation so you can understand why I was concerned.

So Catwoman is hiding a little pouch in a pigeon loft on a roof while pondering who to sell her stolen goods to - as well as where to vacation afterwards. She then notices a surveillance camera. The scene cuts to two cops on surveillance duty. They’re both bored as hell so when one spots Selina, he quickly distracts his colleague and leaves to find her. He takes the pouch out of the pigeon loft and a fight between him and Catwoman ensues. He reveals that he wants to become her partner. He wants to feed her any intel he can see on his screens so she could steal and sells some goods, and they’d split the money. When Selina refuses, he tries to blackmail her into complying. Selina presses a button on a little device and whatever’s in the pouch the cop sacked, explodes, sending him over the edge. Luckily, he lands on an umbrella Penguin had sent off apparently because we see him in one panel, angered that his plan was foiled. I’m not entirely sure what his “brilliant plan” was supposed to be. Something with gas tanks that were strapped to the umbrella I assume? I have no idea.

This one is missing too much context for my taste. What was in the pouch? Did the explosion kill the guy? What was Penguin doing there? What was his plan? Why did we need the second cop? For a super obvious but unnecessary parallel between Catwoman vs. corrupt cop and random woman vs. random man on one of the surveillance screens? Why give Catwoman so little “screen time” and so little dialogue? Is this short story referencing anything from Nocenti’s awful run and I just forgot? To quote Val Kilmer Batman: “It just raises too many questions.”

The art’s okay, nothing too special.

3/10

Story #3: Helena by Tom King

Oh boy. This is the big one. The one everyone’s been waiting for, I guess. The man who not so long ago had promised us a BatCat wedding just to shove a huge middle finger in our faces, promised us a pregnant Selina this time. I was skeptical of course. Also other readers were convinced he’d just let Selina have a miscarriage. Well, the good news is it wasn’t a miscarriage. The bad news is he almost makes Selina seem like she would have preferred a miscarriage.

The story goes like this: Selina hasn’t been feeling well so instead of going to a doctor like a normal person, Bruce scans her head and checks her vitals and blood (I can only assume because we’re not shown). Selina’s convinced that she’s seriously ill but a gentle, hopeful smile on Bruce’s face reveals the actual truth: She is pregnant. And her first reaction is shock and denial. We cut to BatCat fighting Tweedledum and Tweedledee (I think, you can’t really see them but the two men they knock out look identical). Selina then bends over and says that she’s about to throw up. Followed by a Batbucket joke. I’m getting so tired of all the forced self-awareness, guys. We cut to Catwoman, now sporting a baby bump underneath the skin-tight leather, sitting on a roof. She prepares a glass of wine while telling the baby that it is just like Bruce and it’s such a dick for taking away her freedom. After one sip, she chucks the glass away and curses. We’re then treated to a montage of BatCat fighting several rogues while Selina’s belly grows with each panel until it’s an 8, maybe 9 months along belly. I... I have no words. Except for yes, this was written by a man. BatCat are then standing on a roof and Selina laments that she’s a thief, not a mother, and the baby will derail her life and plans. The scene switches to Bruce and Selina in bed, arguing because she’s in labor. Bruce is ready to roll while Selina is STILL in denial, crying that she’s not a mother, that she’s not a hero or a good and brave person like him. Bruce tells her she didn’t run off so that means she’s a good person and they agree that it’s time to have the baby. Another cut to Selina having to take care of a crying baby Helena, asking why she’s crying when it’s Selina’s turn to stay at home and not Bruce’s. Selina talks to Helena, saying she’s luckier than Selina was because Selina’s mom ran off. She fucking FINALLY says something nice about her own child (”You’re a cute little kitten.”) and wonders what they’re going to do with her. The last page is old Selina and grownup Helena after Bruce’s death. Selina’s complaining about the pretty cemetery while Helena likes it. Her daughter’s ability to not shit on just everything and not be a total killjoy all the time causes Selina to say again that Helena is like Bruce. Upon Helena’s question if she’s anything like her mother, Selina answers that she’s just as stubborn as her. If she wants something, she steals it. Helena asks what she ever stole and Selina delivers the last predictable cliche of the story: “You stole my heart.”

Ugh. King’s Selina is just such a boring read. She’s not charming or interesting or sympathetic. Maybe I’m too used to a fun Selina but this one’s just a drag. A heavily pregnant Catwoman fighting Joker, yeah sure, totally not absolute bullshit. And the way Selina keeps distancing herself from the child inside her? For over 9 months?! Is she going out in that ridiculous catsuit because she wants to cause a miscarriage, is that it? So she doesn’t have to make a decision like abortion, adoption or leaving the baby with Bruce? Her constant cussing over the situation and crying and whining turns the pregnancy of my favorite DC couple into such a depressing ordeal.

The art is very pretty! Thank God.

4/10

Story #4: The Catwoman of Earth by Jeff Parker

After the depressing pregnancy of Catwoman, we switch to the wacky 60s version of her. Catwoman and her henchmen are robbing a science fair when suddenly, a UFO arrives. WTF?! Four aliens and a robot are beamed down to the surface and the group’s leader, an arrogant jock-like guy proclaims that they will take over the planet and enslave humanity. Catwoman angrily stands up to him. Turns out the evil aliens are sexist too when the male one tells Catwoman females have to ask for permission to speak and the female alien in the group unhappily agrees. The jock alien tells the muscly male alien to dispose of Catwoman but she’s not easy to dispose of! She fights off the brawler, she cuts the tentacles off the tentacle alien (someone WILL jerk off to that one panel), dodges the jock’s laser gun, steals the laser gun with her whip, shoots the robot to bits, and lets the police take the males away. The female alien seems much happier now and invites Catwoman to a flight around the world in the UFO. Catwoman suggests a trip to Paris so she can loot the Louvre.

Aliens and Catwoman don’t mix. I didn’t really care for this story. I mean it’s great to see Catwoman in action and taking down four guys on her own but... aliens and Catwoman just don’t mix. It was a bit jarring to me. Also the aliens’ designs weren’t super interesting. They were basically pink elves.

The art is beautiful. Catwoman looks like Julie Newmar and the entire color scheme is very 60s.

4/10

Story #5: A Cat of Nine Tales by Liam Sharp

Catwoman’s caught stealing a diamond necklace by an armed security guard. He seems a bit scared of her but knows it’s his job to stop her. She’s not engaging in a fight - of course not, he has a gun pointed at her! So instead, Catwoman relies on her talking skills. And intimidation skills. She tells the guard that there are 9 ways their situation could play out: 1. The guard lets her tie him up and escape with the necklace. 2. She beats his ass. 3. He kills her. 4. She scratches his eyes out. 5. He slips and gets knocked out. 6. He fires his gun, misses her, and the bullet ricochets until it kills him.  7. They team up. 8. She gives up. 9. She kills him. However, the story ends with the guard fainting because Catwoman’s just so damn scary.

Very short, very simple. Even the art is simple, on one page there are 3 very similar panels with only minor changes. Nothing memorable but not too bad. It shows how Catwoman can take someone out even without touching them. It’s okay.

The art reminds me of a comic from the 80s or maybe 90s. Hard to describe why. Guess you have to see it. Again, it’s okay.

5/10

Story #6: Little Bird by Mindy Newell

Selina learns from a news report that a priceless mezuzah has been found at a flea market. It’s currently at the Jewish Museum of Gotham City and Selina immediately steals it. Later, Batman shows up at her place and asks why she wants the mezuzah. She doesn’t give him much of an answer so he leaves. Pretty pointless scene I would say. A flashback reveals that a young Selina used to live with a Jewish lady. I dunno, I guess she’s a foster mother? And the woman liked Selina so much and considered her family so she gave her that mezuzah to pass it on to her own kids one day (even though Selina doesn’t want kids, is not related to the lady, and isn’t Jewish). Back to the present, Selina’s punishing a client. That prostitute background made an unwanted comeback for this story because Selina’s resisting and denying herself love so she’s “whoring”, to prove to herself how despicable she is. Okay...? There’s an inner turmoil going on, she’s torn between selling the artefact or not. Eventually, she decides to bring the mezuzah back to the lady she used to live with. The lady’s grown old and demented, lives in a home and is at the verge of dying. Selina places an envelop between the lady’s hands and leaves. The home’s director finds the envelop which contains the mezuzah, an official document which basically ensures that the lady will be taken care of before and after her death, and a poetic note from Selina.

My least favorite story out of them all - and that is quite an accomplishment when there are King and Nocenti in the same book! It had that Frank “I’m an insane sexist racist asshole” Miller prostitute bullshit in it and Selina hating herself again. This time, the “whoring” (and this word is not me, it’s from the actual story) is used as a way of self-punishment. Because it’s disgusting and wrong and Selina only does it to torture herself. Dunno if that’s the right message you wanna send here... The Jewish lady was kinda random to me because Selina’s not Jewish and never has been Jewish. This is not a negative point, it’s just so random. And the Batman scene was pointless, I have no idea what purpose it served. Except for showing us Batman pay Selina like a john and having Selina make jokes about “whoring.” Ugh.

The art was great, very clean.

1/10

Story #7: Born to Kiln by Chuck Dixon

Going from my least favorite to my favorite story in this book!

Catwoman knows there’s a diamond in a safe on a boat that is set to leave the harbour in the morning. So she climbs aboard at night to steal the gem. She finds several dead sailors and they’re all covered in mud. Who could have done this? Yes, you guessed right - it’s Clayface! He’s already at the safe, opens it, and retrieves the big stone. Catwoman reveals herself and aims a fire hose at him. Her confidence, however, dies the moment the hose doesn’t work. Clayface swallows the diamond and starts chasing after her. There’s apparently a machine to spray-paint cars on the boat so she lures him inside, activates the paint to blind him, and the hot lamps for the drying process immobilise the big pile of mud. Now that he’s nothing more than hard clay, Catwoman takes a wrench to him and takes the freed diamond.

FINALLY a story I really, really like from beginning to end! First off, IT’S PURPLE CATWOMAN!!! Selina is wearing my favorite costume, the iconic Jim Balent suit from her 90s solo run in this story - and I LOVE IT!!! Yeah, her boobs are quite loose in it and sometimes dangle in strange ways but fuck it! LOL I prefer hanging boobs over a tight corset that should reduce her agility or a back breaking pose anytime! We get sneaky Selina, we get playful Selina, we get over confident Selina who has to think fast and run even faster, and she gets what she wants in the end without killing anyone.

The art is gorgeous! It’s very fluid and alive. I also absolutely adore the cute facial expressions on Kitten’s face, especially when she locks Clayface in. I miss Catwoman being fun. In this, she’s just adorable and not sexualised at all.

8/10

Story #8: Conventional Wisdom by Will Pfeifer

Selina finds herself at a Bat Con and is supposed to give autographs. The whole scenario seems weird and confusing to her, she doesn’t remember how she got there or what is going on. Bruce, Joker, Riddler, and Two-Face being there with her to give autographs is even weirder. And why does no one except for her react to that unconscious, bloody man on the floor?! On her way to her panel, she runs into several cosplayers which is basically only fan service. But you will find the male, dark-skinned version of me at her panel, asking when the fuck she will finally put that 90s suit back on!!! The dialogues keep breaking the fourth wall, pointing out that this story is about to end. One of the panel’s attendees looks like Marvel’s Taskmaster and another is Selina herself in her Catwoman suit. Selina slowly remembers what happened: The Taskmaster dude is Doctor Destiny, she broke into his lair and stole his reality distorter, a little machine she’s been carrying around for the entire story. She smashes the machine to wake up back in the lair and cracks her knuckles, ready to take down Doctor Destiny and his goons.

And it was all a dream! That twist has never been a favorite of mine. Even though it’s not really a twist; you know immediately that it’s a dream. We don’t learn anything new about Selina or see anything Catwoman-y in this. It’s really basically fan service. They wanted Selina to see and interact with real life fans of hers so they made it happen. She also comments on various versions of her costume. It’s cute but kinda forgettable.

The art is good, it’s rare to see light and bright colors in a Catwoman book so it was a nice change. And the cosplayers looked nice. But they could have used different body types to make the fans more diverse and visually appealing.

3/10

Story #9: Addicted to Trouble by Ram V

And here we are, the premiere of the duo that will take over Catwoman’s current solo run from #23 onward. We get a first taste of the writing and art and I must say it’s a good taste.

This short story serves as a continuation of Joelle Jones’ #21 issue where at the end of the arc, Selina and her sister Maggie left Gotham in a purple car. So we see a short recap of how they got the car and where they were headed but unfortunately, the engine dies. They hitchhike to Memphis. Selina’s frustrated that Maggie doesn’t talk to her. They get drunk and start a fight at a bar. The cops show up and arrest them. While sitting in the back of the cop car, the girls start laughing together and steal the car. They leave behind their luggage which only contains stuff they won’t miss - including Selina’s cat funeral dress. They drive back to Gotham, Selina steals food and drinks on the way, and they cuddle on a rooftop overlooking the city. The story cuts to Selina and Leandro, a character I would know if I had continued the Jones run. She tells him she wants to lay low for a while and stay out of trouble. When he asks “Oh? Really?”, Selina throws a naughty smile towards the reader. Yeah yeah, lay low my ass. :D

First off, I have no idea what happened before the road trip, I don’t know why they took it or why Maggie doesn’t talk or what the purpose of all of this was because all they do is get drunk, fight an entire bar, and go back. No idea what that accomplished. And I feel sorry for the car because it was so gorgeous. Anyway, I am happy to say that Ram V has a great writing style! He gave a good voice to Selina, it sounded very natural and like a human would talk, no forced exposition or fake deepness.

The art was good, there were a few expressive faces and the bar fight was well executed.

5/10 (because I don’t know the context)

Story #10: The Art of Picking A Lock by Ed Brubaker

Instead of ending with a transition to the next Catwoman issue (which I would have preferred), the collection offers one more story and it’s written by the man who successfully handled the second half of Selina’s first solo run. He turned her stories more into the film noir direction and gave her sidekicks. The run also gave her a fugly suit and made her have sex with old men and Brubaker wanted to kill her off and have her not know who the father to her unborn child was so... yeah, I’m torn about that guy.

The last story shows us Catwoman breaking into a warehouse full of Joker goons while thinking about the thrill of breaking locks and how she learned how to do it when she was at a juvenile detention center. She beats them all up and demands to know where “he” is. Later, her friend Holly is on a motorcycle chasing after a cab while Catwoman is riding on top of a subway. Both reach Gotham’s harbor. We see that the cab is filled with Joker gas and the driver is laughing maniacally. Holly can’t reach the cab in time and it drives off into the water. Catwoman swings down and jumps after it. She breaks the trunk open and reveals a handcuffed Slam Bradley. Cut to the three back on dry land. Holly chides him for going after Joker alone and not waiting for backup. He admits that it was dumb, then shares intel on where Joker will strike and Selina should tell “her friend.” She says she will and Slam ends the book with the words that he could really use a cigarette. NO, this book was not that good that it would warrant a cigarette at the end!

This short obviously takes place during the second half of the first solo run. We see Catwoman in action, that’s cool. Taking down almost a dozen of armed Joker henchmen, that’s pretty badass! And a woman saves the man damsel in distress at the end, that’s a nice ending as well. However, I don’t care about the costume so the visual appeal wasn’t there and I really don’t care about Slam Bradley so the reveal at the end was pretty ugh to me.

The art is great! It’s like a modernised/smoother version of Darwyn Cooke’s style, the artist Brubaker worked on the Catwoman title in the 00s with. So that gives it a pretty nostalgic feel. 

5/10

In addition to the 10 stories we’ve now covered, there are pages to show off the Catwoman costumes of each decade as well as pinups. The costume pages are designed in the decade’s style (the 40s are black and white, the 60s psychedelic etc). But what I don’t get about the 90s one: It’s purple Catwoman grayed out in the background and gray BTAS Catwoman in color in the foreground - why make the purple outfit gray when you have an already gray outfit?! Just switch them! Also who put together the 70s one, couldn’t they find better costume examples?!

The seven pinups are pretty, unfortunately the majority feature the black outfits. I was surprised that even Tim Sale drew the black costume and not the purple one from his Long Halloween series. We get one of the gray BTAS costume and Jim Balent thankfully gives us BatCat with his purple creation. Nice!

Well, looking back at my personal scores for this collection of stories, Catwoman’s anniversary issue reached a total of 44/100 points in my book. Wow. That’s... not that good.

Most of the stories ranged from average to bad. Nothing spectacular, nothing memorable. There’s a lack of witty dialogue, Catwoman’s rarely fun to watch. In six stories she’s seen fighting, in three she’s seen being chased so I’m missing the variety here. I would assume you can do more with Catwoman than that. She often rather fights instead of using her wits and smarts. And actual cats are only featured in two stories but in one they die and in the other, Selina says she should drown them. -_- 

A collection of 10 new stories was a great idea but celebrating the character this is not. I’m happy that the next writer for Catwoman left a positive impression on me and the story feat. Balent’s Catwoman was a delight. However, the writers didn’t really bring their “A” game for this anniversary issue which is disappointing.

Would I recommend it? Hmmm. It pains me to say: not really, no. You don’t miss much by skipping it. You don’t miss sassy lines or breathtaking art, you don’t miss out on funny scenes or emotional depth. This anniversary issue is merely average and I highly doubt I’ll go back to reread it.

(a huge THANK YOU to everyone who read this entire, way too long post! i highly appreciate it 💜you’re a real trooper!)

[gothamstreetcat]

Back in your inbox (with what’s possibly another controversial question because I’m a pain like that): I know David’s your favorite Bruce (AND RIGHTLY SO), but I’m curious about what you think of the other live-action versions of Bruce? Like the writing for/portrayal by Michael Keaton, Ben Affleck, etc?

Sophie, are always welcome in this inbox! Even if you have controversial questions (because I’m a pain too, and I don’t believe this is controversial). Take a seat, have a sip of tea (or coffee if you prefer). Stay a while!

I honestly have yet to see every single live-action Bruce Wayne/Batman out there (which I will discuss). So, admittedly I did do a bit of research prior to this response. 

Lewis G. Wilson was the first back in 1943 during a 15-part serial of Batman. Followed by Robert Lowery in 1946. While I’ve never seen either of their portrayal of Bruce, I did google a picture of Lewis and saw a picture of Robert and they certainly look the part by outward appearances. Apparently, however, Lewis’ s career didn’t last long and he didn’t have the physique or voice people ideally wanted in a Bruce Wayne. Personally speaking, I would not mind having or seeing a Bruce with a little meat on his bones. I can’t promise I’ll ever get around to watching these old Batman programs. Much as I love him, it would take time my brain simply cannot give. 

Adam West is more iconic and well known. I don’t believe I actually watched the television program until I was getting older. There would be re-runs of it on TV and I can’ t remember for the life of me where I saw the film. It was most likely with my dad. I really do have a special place in my heart for Adam. He’s a legend for starters, and it seems odd to say since old films and television are hard for me to get into, but the further we get from the 60′s, the more I miss Batman and Robin. Yeah, it was goofy and dramatic, but it was so funny and parts of his scene with Julie Newmar are so romantic. I also super admire Adam’s Bruce because in one episode he told Robin they should still put a quarter in the meter because they were not above the law themselves. I have not even seen the entire franchise with West involved, by the way. But I did very much enjoy him. 

Michael Keaton was probably my first Bruce Wayne. I remember being a little kid and watching Batman Returns like a Christmas movie on my portable DVD player, while my dad and I were living in a motel at the time. I think I should also add here how I truly got into Bruce because of Catwoman. As I went into maybe middle school I started reading comics and super involved in Bruce as a person. So, much of me watching Keaton’s Bruce was because of Michelle. It’s crazy how I used to really love that film but the further I grow from it, it has strongly become not my favorite. All that being said, I did enjoy Keaton. I have nothing against him. I do believe he could have been written a little better, perhaps?  But at the same time, there is something about him that is somehow a more normal Bruce (if I may use that word), while also having that brooding aspect about him. The scene where he claims he’s not going to a costume party, only to change his mind if Selina was going is beyond cute. He was so lovestruck and I liked that. Returns, however, is really the only film I saw him the most in. 

I can’t say I’ve seen the full film of Batman forever, so I’m just gonna skip over Val Kilmer. For now, I’m just gonna say from my shitty memory, that he was okay. However, if I can’t really speak much or remember someone’s performance of Bruce, that sure speaks volumes. 

This is relatively the same standing with George Clooney’s Bruce Wayne, as I never saw a lot of his performance. I’ve seen some of the Batman and Robin film during work, and I personally don’t hate it. I very distantly remember a flashback sequence in which Bruce was running in Wayne Manor, he tripped and fell. Alfred helped him up and I just remember him wearing these cute little knee shorts. I don’t even know if this sequence is even from this film but I adore young Bruce Wayne. I would die for young Bruce Wayne. I believe Alfred was the true star of the show. 

Christian Bale would have been my first taste of Bruce Wayne… had I not fallen asleep during the first ten minutes of Batman Begins. Proceeding to wake up when the credits were rolling. I am 100% not proud of myself, further, I didn’t actually see Begins until so many years later after I’d seen the two movies following it. Before David, I believe Bale was my favorite. He is certainly one of the few I am most familiar with. I enjoyed him as Bruce and being more familiar with him it became easier for me to associate him with being Batman. I certainly, yes, see him as an older Bruce Wayne and I don’t mind him as Batman or his voice. 

I have only seen Ben Affleck in Justice League. I do not really have a problem with Affleck in terms of being Bruce. However, I think the writing for much of the DC films is poor so I feel like that doesn’t give me much to work on when talking about Ben. He certainly does look the part of tired Batdad–which I enjoy. We need more Bruce with facial hair. I refuse to watch Batman Vs. Superman because I’ve heard two different stories about Bruce killing/not killing. I’m not exactly sure this is a film for me. Disrespect my man, and there is a fabulous chance I will not support your show/film.

This is sort of the same with Iain Glen for Titians. I am very much on the fence about Titians. First for their initial “fuck Batman” (like, fuck you too), and second because I believe Bruce killed in Titians? I’m not completely sure, but I do believe I read that somewhere. I also saw a post where someone said how Iain looked more like Alfred than Bruce. Not only is that now all I can see, but they’ve got a point. However, I did see the little tribute they did to Adam, which I liked. And when I would open the DCU Bruce was the face they would showcase for Titans Season Two: I LOVED IT. I still loved seeing his face as a highlighted promotion for the show. Alas, I have not seen him in action and I’m not entirely sure how I feel about seeing Titans. I think it’s safe to say at this point that I am a very bad Batman fan, but this is okay because I think what separates most of these actors from David is how as an adult they may be more on the focus of being Batman. Speaking in terms of, you don’t always see the next news headline being “so-and-so to be the next ‘Bruce Wayne’ (unless I’m mistaken, which I oftentimes am. 

Another reason why I love David so much is that he really was (is?) Bruce Wayne. Not just ‘Bruce Wayne’ and then you have a child actor for flashback Bruce Wayne. He started as Bruce Wayne and ended as Bruce Wayne/Batman. Were I believe most actors get credit as Batman and not so much Bruce Wayne, I think should be the opposite for David. He should get the most credit for being Bruce Wayne but also get credit for being Batman. David has the look, charm, heart. And he gave us a Bruce Wayne people take for granted when they say “he’s just a rich guy with toys and issues.” David’s portrayal really showed Bruce’s pain and how he worked so hard to get where he was. I just love him.

Lastly, I feel it’s appropriate I add my two-cents about Robert Pattinson. I’m personally not a fan and I’m not totally sure he has the look of Bruce. Nothing really against him, I’ve honestly only seen him from Twilight and I didn’t think it was that great. Yeah, he fell asleep as some award show or whatever, but Bale’s Bruce did it first. And he did it in one of his own meetings because he was tired from being Batman. Also, Pattinson said he doesn't think as Batman as a hero so... that makes me really conflicted.

I realize I answered most of these in a very convoluted (David Bruce taught me that word by the way) way/not so much answering them. I am so sorry this is so long and I think I had a lot of run-on sentences. I do want to say that aside from David, the best Bruce Wayne is probably the one we see in comic books. 

[jadenoryuu]

At first I think that Danny would try to reign in the urge to use his powers in order to learn the "art" in the proper way (and if his powers ever get shorted out, he won't be at disadvantage if he need the skills to save his life).

🐉

Yeah, Damian would have no standing to judge him on the morality of stealing... Or maybe he could? I mean, if he considers killing a superior skill than stealing... (^～^;)ゞ

🐉

But, if you're talking about technique, Damian would absolutely judge him on it. Danny would still be a newbie, so of course he would be atrocious!

Danny at first would be wary od Damian, because: "Why in the Infinite Realms is Robin helping me be a better (potential) criminal?? Is this a trap??". But Selina would reassure him that she knows that boy and his father is one of her "best buddies", so they're safe.

(Yep, Damian would totally do a paternity test as soon as he could get a chance!)

🐉

Gotta love the Waynes' bonding over violence/vigilante stuff. (≧∇≦)

Though, Damian wouldn't tell Danny that he's his half-brother as soon as he gets the results, because he wants to know him better and (of course) not blow his cover as Robin and out Bruce as Batman (even if he has the right to know).

🐉

Taking out a threat against his blood would be a certainly priority: Damian finally found a brother that he doesn't want to kill on sight! (Even if there are certain shenanigans that make the former-assassin want to go stabby on him because Danny can be a little shit when he wants. (≧∇≦) )

🐉

Well, what Jazz doesn't know, doesn't hurt her... (≧∇≦) Besides, he could pass stealing as "stealth training" to help avoiding conflict and injuries! That would certainly sweeten the ideal.

🐉

If I vaguely remember the timelines of Batman's love life, Selina came before Talia, didn't she? So Danny would be older, somewhere along Tim's age (16, I believe?). That would put him in DP Season 3 (PP doesn't exist!) and in reach of Danny's clones!

This could have three different outcomes depending on when he knows about Selina being his bio-mom and meets her:

Meets her before Kindred Spirit = making Dani and the clones realize that Vlad is manipulating them would be easy peasy thanks to the lessons about how to counter-manipulate someone (for a better cause). This would allow him to gather info about the cloning process by sneaking into the mansion, then liberate the "perfect" clone and destroy the machine. (If Cat-mom and Robin join in righteous fury is just a welcome plus. (≧∇≦) )

Meet her between K.S. and D-stabilized = Selina, getting to know Danny better, discovers about "another" evil billionaire that gets to toy with people's life and goes all panther on Vlad (with he help of some anti-ghost Fenton weapons courtesy of Danny to keep her safe if any of his own rogues ever get to bother her). Of course, she then gets to adopt Dani since she's unclaimed free baby!! (And both Phantoms won't complain on the arrangement, since it would take Dani out of the streets and Danny could meet her more often when he visits his bio-mom.)

Meet her after D-stabilized = this is similar to #2, but with the addendum of Valerie as tagalong when Dani goes to meet Danny and Selina, since the two girls bonded during the episode. Val and Selina would get along like a house on fire due to both being strong independent women with a vendetta against society and men in power. (Danny to this day regrets allowing Val come to Gotham... (≧∇≦) )

Uhm, there's not enough content about Valerie meeting and bonding with the Bats or anyone adjacent, we'll need to remedy to this soon.

Soulmate au where Danny is the secret lovechild of Batman and Catwoman. The problem? His soulmate is Tim Drake.

(Up to you if he knows about his dad being Batman)

His bio-dad had adopted his soulmate. Danny didn't know how to proceed or even if he should. Tim was apparently dating some blond and the Waynes clearly didn't know about him.

He decided to keep it that way and didn't reach out to them. He did, however, reach out to his bio-mom via a semi-awkward letter. He wanted to meet her but stated multiple times in the letter that it was okay if she didn't want to see him.

She sent a letter back saying she would love to meet him and asked if he liked ice cream. She also wrote down her number for him to call or text her.

This led to them meeting up nearly every weekend with Red Huntress and Team Phantom promising to protect the town. (Though Val only agreed after he explained he was meeting his bio-mom and she softened)

Jason was the first one to see them together and freaked out a bit. He contacted the group chat about Catwoman having a teen following her around who looked almost exactly like her and the chat when nuts.

Damian leaves to investigate as Robin and finds his potential half brother at the mall with his mom teaching him how to steal.

It was not the greatest first impression.

[marybeatriceofmodena]

Solo: a Star Wars Story - A Review (which I managed to keep short at least when it comes to my standards *puts gold sticker on self*)

So I saw Solo yesterday, and I’ll be putting my detailed/spoilery thoughts under the cut.

As for a general overview while trying to spoil as little as possible… I definitely liked the movie. To compare it to another anthology movie, I didn’t like it as much as Rogue One, but it was very enjoyable: basically Western meets film noir meets sci-fi, and the combo worked pretty well.

I have to admit, before the marketing for the film started, I was very meh about it. I didn’t hate it in advance like some people did, but I was pretty much planning to see it just because Lawrence Kasdan was the screenwriter, Donald Glover was Lando and I honestly couldn’t have thought of a better casting choice, and Thandie Newton aka my dreamcast for Selina Kyle/Catwoman was in it.

I did start getting a bit more optimistic as time went on. And since I’m a creature of dust and ashes and, most especially, salt, I wanted Alden Ehrenreich to succeed as Han partly because of the fandom being all “HE’S NOT HARRISON”, and also partly because if he hadn’t told the big bosses the original directors wanted Han to be space Ace Ventura, this movie would have been a mess.

And… despite all the complications, they actually did it. And unlike Justice League, I didn’t really see big contrasts indicating there had been two different visions working on the movie.

So it honestly makes me sad that the movie is underperforming because it's a genuinely well-made, multi-layered heist film. I don't think it's the film itself's fault: Lucasfilm/Disney had some pretty terrible timing and promo for the film overall, and they REALLY should have pushed it back to December.

Everyone in the cast was very good, well-cast: Alden did a terrific job playing Han and while I didn’t think he looked a lot like Harrison Ford at first, I can see the resemblance now; Donald Glover was perfection as Lando, and Emilia Clarke and Qi’ra turned out to be pleasant surprises and I enjoyed them a lot more than I expected to.

For some reason… the overall storyline and how it drew out kind of reminded me of a video game. I’m not sure why, though. That’s not to say it was badly done, but it could simply be that I became used to how quickly paced TFA and R1 were, or how TLJ was either jarringly edited at first viewing, and how certain elements were rushed and others dragging for too long. Solo didn’t have any pacing issues… though I might change my mind after repeat viewings.

There were a lot of things I was a bit afraid of before the film came out that thankfully did not bother me too much, but I did read spoilers before going in. I kept myself spoiler-free to a certain extent for TLJ and I kind of regret it, so I decided not to take any chances. (SO YOU CAN BE SURE AS HELL I’LL DO IT FOR IX.) So I was prepared going in, so there’s nothing I saw that upset me.

Shout-out to the soundtrack. It was GREAT.

Anyway, the spoilery part is under the cut. Read at your own risk.

Alden was really a pleasant surprise. You can really forget he’s not Harrison and even if Han is a lot more optimistic and cheerful than the cynical scoundrel we meet in ANH, he’s still the dumbass Han who brags a lot even if he’s a dumbass and who tries to talk his way out of shit and fails because he’s a dumbass. He's not the cynical scoundrel we meet in ANH *yet*, but it made sense for me for him not to be like that right now. He's basically a dumbass puppy dog like his son. No wonder Qi'ra is so protective of him.

Donald Glover as Lando was a scene-stealer. I even wish we saw more of him, or scenes of him with Han, because they had some pretty good frenemy chemistry. 

Han and Chewie were probably one of the best parts of the movie, and even my favorite relationship out of all. Their encounter was very well-done, and they totally sold how they’d do anything for each other.

Qi’ra… I could honestly write an entire post about her alone, and I probably will, because she was hands down the most intriguing character in the movie. And it’s nice to see Emilia Clarke show off her acting chops and see her in other stuff than Boobs, Dragons, Death. Though, I will say, my point of view on Qi’ra will probably be different from the point of view I’ve seen from other people, but yeah.

As a sidenote, I definitely saw the parallels between Ben and Rey, and Qi’ra and Han. As a lot of people pointed out, Han and Qi’ra in the elevator and then confronting Dryden Vos was basically “Throne Room, take two”. This said, I can definitely see how Qi’ra and Ben are similar, and how Han and Rey are similar, but I did spot some similarities between Qi’ra and Rey, and between Han and Ben. I’ll probably expand it in another post, once I get down to writing it, but one thing Qi’ra and Rey have in common is how they smile even in the most dismal situations and in order to hide their vulnerability – even if their reasons for smiling are very different. Qi’ra is a Stepford Smiler to survive, and because she knows how ugly the world can be, while Rey is not only a lot more sheltered than Qi’ra (even if her life was by no means easy), but she puts on a happy face because she’s in denial about her parents, and probably because she so desperately wants to be accepted and loved. So long story short, Qi’ra is basically how Rey would have been if she had gone through what Ben went through. So that really brings a whole new perspective to how Han views Rey in TFA: I think he sees his youthful optimism in her, but he’s also fully aware what could happen to her if she went back on Jakku, because of what happened to Qi’ra. But again, I’m preparing a full-blown analysis of Qi’ra. Stay tuned.

I legit cried when she told Han she thought of him and the two of them flying away whenever it was hard for her. I’m still getting kind of teary-eyed thinking about it. 

 Okay, last thing about Qi’ra: I wouldn’t say she becomes a crime boss because she craves power or because she’s scared and has some sort of Stockholm Syndrome or whatever. I’d actually argue she chose love over power, and she’s ultimately a tragic case of “to love is to let go”. So yeah, it’s a lot more complicated than it seems, and it’s all about her being pretty much Han’s dark guardian angel of sorts. But again, I’ll expand on it in another post.

Tobias Beckett was great. A total asshole, but you still get attached to him even if you want to kick him in the balls.

I really liked Val and Rio, and it’s a waste they died so early. You could totally buy Val and Beckett as the old-married couple who bicker all the time. They managed to make their deaths emotional—and special shout-out to Rio’s death. Nice bit of foreshadowing when he dies saying that dying alone is the worst thing (now please excuse me while I roll in a ball in a corner and cry, thinking of how Han died nearly 40 years later).

I know L3 annoyed a lot of people. She didn’t annoy me too much, mainly because I just decided to not take her seriously and to see her “droid rights activism” as a joke. I mean, just looking at how Lando takes it, every time she makes a comment about it or does something about it, he’s all “Oh God not this again”. As some people have pointed out before me, she’s basically a robot version of Lisa Simpson. Her dying didn’t move me as much as Val or Rio, though.

Also, the TLJ novelization mentions a virtual intelligence of sorts in the Falcon that has a pretty foul sense of humor, so that’s probably foreshadowing for the reveal that L3 has been integrated into the Falcon after her death.

I’m going to talk about Dryden Vos in my Qi’ra post, but I don’t know if it’s due to Paul Bettany’s makeup, but he looked kind of… frail? Don’t get me wrong, he’s totally the Affably Evil Sociopath type, and he’s definitely someone you do not want to mess around with, but yeah. Him looking almost skeletal was probably part of the deal.

Enfys Nest was EPIC. I really hope we get comic books or novels about her, and it’s nice to see other rebel cells around. And her theme was THE SHIT with the choir and all. (Also, for my fellow Les Mis fans reading this: her actress (Erin Kellyman) is going to be Éponine in the upcoming BBC adaptation of Les Mis.) 

Spotted Warwick Davis playing one of Enfys Nest’s crew.

Also, the confrontation between Han and his crew versus Enfys Nest was some space spaghetti western shit. And Lando leaving with the Falcon was absolutely hysterical.  

That’s all I can think of right now. I’ll maybe have more thoughts later on.