#maybe ppl will remember we exist n stuff

[iveneverseenthesebowlsbefore]

do you know how much my simple pleasures creature comforts food adoring adhd sensory input needing ass is *hating* this no smell/taste thing? Like I can’t taste coffee. Coffee! That’s one of the best parts of living. I went for a walk in the woods this fall and couldn’t smell anything. When i’m sad and or not I can’t even get dopamine from cramming pizza down my gullet. My bed and blankets don’t radiate my stench when I try to get all cozed up.

Long covid sucks balls you guys.

[whomturgled]

yrkeby4ur8

[itonashi]

i love your lilbro!nagi fics sm!!♡ and the nagi's older sis!reader having a enemies to lovers with itoshi sae would be just🤗🤭😋😙😚☺️☺️ it makes me twirl my hair and giggle like a highschool girl in love so🤐🤐🤐🤐 maybe a small fic, if it is not a bother? have good day feel free to ignore xx

YOU'RE THE WORST.

pairing: itoshi sae x fem!reader

warning: manga spoilers, cussing, reader is nagi's older sister ( i love you guys for doing these hehe ), reader is also a pro athlete. timeline where the blue lock project already ended (multiple timeline also), 3 years older than sae. mentioned other chars. english is not my first language...

note: idk what the hell is this plot. idk much about sports (im srs, im not a sport person. i throw balls that didn't even reach the person im targeting) i love sae he's sec fave to me (chigiri is on top), i personally don't see nagi having a relationship with someone. i liked the idea of him having a siblings and you guys really loved my older sister nagi reader 🤭 (i like it too). happy 200 followers!!!

your first meet with itoshi sae was when he went to picked a striker for the u-20 vs blue lock match. you were one of the people that helped with the blue lock project, despite your precious little brother being there. you didn't revealed to your brother that you were one of the people. you were always behind the scenes. what you meant is, you were one of the people for the wild card. itoshi sae locked eyes with you for a moment but the male completely ignored your existence.

you were a bit offended but that's that, too think he would choose that shidou guy. literally what's in that goddamn mind of that midfielder. "[name], i never expected for your brother to developed quickly." you glanced at anri, crossing your arms. "looks like he found his dream." with a gentle smile, you looked at the screen that displayed your brother.

something that i could never had. a dream.

on the day of the match, you didn't even tried to hide your identity. despite being a famous athlete with many rewards received. oh, what a luck — you coincidentally met itoshi sae while on the way to the blue lock locker's room. "we have met before, right?" monotone voice. he had always have that type of voice. to think he still remembered you from that time when you two were still a child. it was only one time though, when you guys met as kids.

"yeah."

"nii-chan, the ice cream im looking for isn't here..."

"are you looking for this?" child you met itoshi sae and his younger brother at a convenience store. the teal eyes of the younger brother looked at you and the ice cream back to back, feeling awkward by it, you just gave the ice cream to the younger brother. you saw how his eyes lit up and for some reason it warmth your heart seeing the younger boy happy — maybe because it reminded you of your own little brother...

"you should thank her, rin."

"it's okay. i don't mind."

"thank you, nee-chan!"

ah. how cute. you definitely won't forget these two siblings that you coincidentally met. one had a clean hairstyle while the other have a messy and horrible hairstyles (you know who you are). what an interesting pair. you waved to them goodbye and after that you never met them again.

"i never thought you will remembered me after all these years."

"i was just guessing."

bullshit

"if you'll excuse me, i have somewhere to go.."

sae suddenly tug on the sleeve of your blouse and he looked at you with an unreadable expression. "you're coming to watch for who?" why is he asking you this? it's not like you guys were close or anything. tbh, ppl who tug or touch you and not to mention if they're a stranger, you will definitely get annoyed by them. "i came for blue lock... itoshi." he let go off your sleeve after he hears the irritated voice you have even though you were smiling. itoshi sae weren't really stupid in this kinds of stuff.

you waved him goodbye just like last time...

seeing your precious little brother you rush up to him and hug him. nagi wasn't expecting a hug to come so basically the two of you fell, with nagi being the pillow. "ouch." nagi groaned, the blue lock players didn't expect someone to come (other than anri and ego) and suddenly hugged nagi. wait a minute.

the person who just hugged nagi seishiro seems familiar...

"isn't that [stage name]? the famous female badminton player." hiori spoke up among them.

wait what.

a shocked gasps could be heard around the room, some are uninterested and some are flabbergasted how nagi could know someone so famous. reo watched the scene and didn't expected this either, he also didn't know that you would come to the match since he didn't even contact you (nagi also didn't).

the female was patting nagi's head also! some were jealous of nagi because a famous and a beautiful woman is doing that to him. just what are their relationship?

"sei, do your best on the match, okay? nee-san will be watching you."

WHAT. [stage name] is nagi's older sister. jaw dropped, mouth open.

"bye bye!"

just as you got out of the room, everyone looked at nagi. nagi being nagi, he made a confused face with his signature :x face. reo took the honor of explaining that, yes; indeed you were nagi's sibling. the fact that you having a siblings wasn't mentioned at all on the internet and suddenly you were revealed as nagi's older sister to them was shocking enough. no one knew of this information, i mean even your name isn't your real name.

in another country...

the blue lock project ended, you have nothing to do with it now. your little brother become a pro soccer player and the fact of you being his older sister went viral on every platform — 'the number one female badminton player in the world is nagi seishiro's older sister!? how long have she kept this from us?" you scrolled the comments on twitter about the post and had a laugh with it since some of the replies were just ridiculous.

'holy shit what... my bae [stage name] have a little brother?!? how could i have not known this.'

'is this a family full off prodigy? they should show us their parents too!' that's probably never gonna happen, you thought.

'ZOO WEE MAMA, BOTH OF THEM ARE FABULOUS JUST LIKE THE ITOSHI BROTHERS!!!' oh? interesting. being compared to those two brothers.

'[stage name] future's partner are gonna be so lucky...' your future partner, you don't think that you could find one tbh. maybe if you quit being this exhausting pro athlete, you would find one.

ding!

who?

huh.

itoshi sae?

ah, no.

it's an interview request and the other people that you would work with is itoshi sae...

you immediately accepted it, the reason for it was simple. you were bored and maybe having itoshi sae, the man who is very rude to interviewer and working with him on this interview might be interesting. you just wanted to find some fun in your life.

everything was ready for the interview, your clothes, makeup, mic on and everything. they said that you and itoshi sae will be answering questions with a lie detector on. it was a good idea. you want to see the face on itoshi sae change, even in the slightest, you would be happy with it. you greeted the staff with a smile while itoshi sae is beside you being quiet.

"let's get this over with." sae murmured with a slight annoyance voice. averting your gave from him, you look at the set-up for the interview. a seat across from each other with a table in the middle — on the table, there's the device called the lie detector (made from the mikage corporation, this is the real deal). you two sat across from each other with hands already set in the lie detector.

"ready? action!"

let's just escape the greetings and move to the questions...

"itoshi sae, what's your first impression of [stage name]. you two may have met, right? on the u-20 japan soccer team vs blue lock!"

"i didn't really talk to her but one thing about her is fake smile."

"why is that?"

"just a feeling."

this guy... is really only good at soccer. he really can't make something up, huh? was my smile really fake that time? blunt much. i can't show my annoyance to it, i just have to act like i always do.

the lie detector make a sound of approvement — indicating he was telling the truth. you just hoped that after this interview it wouldn't go wrong on the internet. you hated how he knows that you're faking it, you have always been good at lying, everything. without the presence of your parents, you became independent on you own and the aunties around your neighborhood always have something to say about your parents or your little brother. you hated it. you hated how they gave backhanded compliments to you — saying that you are a good girl and maybe you should become their daughters instead of your parent.

"[name], you should stop trying too hard. get some rest."

"will they come?"

"[name]..."

i just wanted my parent attention, that's all. i mean, i have been dedicating my life on nagi. i just want some attention — i don't want attention from my friends but my parent. that's all i ask for, maybe if they did give me attention one day. maybe i can quit being the 'prodigy'. im tired, i don't find anything fun anymore. i have lost that feeling ever since i started doing sports.

"[stage name], what about you? what's your first impression of itoshi sae."

"he's really blunt, straightforward, very serious. personality like him would never find a girlfriend."

"what."

itoshi sae finally talked to you. you could definitely feel the annoyance radiating off him after you said that. the staff sweats at the both of you and yet you still kept a smile on even after saying that. you could go cancelled for this or be praised — it looks like the lie detector didn't sense a lie from you and make a ding sound. he frowned at you and you averted your eyes from him, looking around the room.

"this is a question for you both. if you were to live in a fantasy world with monsters. will you guys worked with eachother."

"no."

the fact that the both of you replied at the same time. twitter gonna have so much fun with this interview when it comes out... and luckily the two of you didn't get that electric shock. you sigh at the awkward silence after that and wished this interview will end.

"do you like soccer, [stage name]? considering your little brother is also a soccer player like itoshi sae."

"just to not get shock by the lie detector... i don't really liked soccer. i don't mind it but i probably have some memories with it that i don't want to remembered."

ding!

'no shock...' sae thought, he was actually glad that you didn't say anything bad about soccer. you and him already have a problem with each other tho.

time flies fast and finally the interview ended. you stretched your arms as it were a little sore. you prepared yourself to leave the building but you wanted to do one last thing before you go. "itoshi, it was nice working with you." sae felt like that was backhanded. your voice didn't sound convincing enough that he was a pleasant to work with at all. it was sarcastic even.

"i don't want to work with you again."

"you'll be seeing me a lot more."

why are you ain't even bothered with sae. even when he said that. "btw, you should probably reconcile with your brother. it won't do you any good." you added before leaving him alone. reconcile with rin? how is sae gonna do that, if he doesn't even have any communication skills (the two brothers suck at socializing but sae is still better at that). anything that comes out of your mouth is just nonsense (in denial).

what the hell.

how did sae meet you again, at his practice too? you waved at him when you two locked eyes and he glared at you for your friendliness towards him. he was too focused on his thoughts that he didn't even noticed you are already beside him. sae's leg was stepping on the soccer ball, you looked at it and stole it from him (using your legs ofc). sae was startled from the sudden feeling of the ball's absence and he saw you running away with the ball.

sae wanted to open his mouth and said something but went against it. he chased after you to get the ball back from you. luckily, there was no one there to witness the two of you — it will become an embarrassing moments for you and him. "you probably have only played soccer once?" sae did managed to catch up with you and you stuck out your tongue at him — you dribbled past him. "you're going easy on me, right? well, don't do it. go all out."

that definitely lit a spark inside sae. you? a badminton player challenging him? he maybe is underestimating you, but that didn't mattered at this point. he will show you, how good he is. while you were basically fighting for the ball, you two were exchanging remarks and sae was glad you could handle his cruel remarks.

it felt like rivalry at this point. you two weren't even in the same sports...

"stop disappointing me, itoshi."

"shut your damn mouth."

"my parents will cry if they heard that from you."

you were definitely a genius — he won't denied it anymore, you managed to score two goals against him. you said that you only watched clips. "yk itoshi, maybe if we're friends.. i will tell you my secrets." it felt like you were mocking him. it felt like the time he was in spain, the feeling when he was..

'he's not saying anything.' you looked at him and stopped your movements. he also stopped — he is definitely giving you a death stare now. is he gonna devour you? probably not.

"we should stop."

"no."

sae is definitely closer to you now — despite having a tall figure for a woman, sae was still taller than you and he was practically kinda trying to assert dominance (in your perspective). this is his weakness, and you found it.

"atleast, i don't sleep 5 hours a day."

ah, he was only going to say that.

"are you stalking me? i didn't know the itoshi sae is a stalker!"

"im not."

in the end, he's still not good enough. he knew he lose to you and you were still smiling like a crazy person to him. he feels a nudged and saw a water bottle up his face, you gave it to him. you didn't say anything to him and just quietly sipped your water bottle without even looking at him. sae was a different story, he keep on side glances to his side — which is you. you had an unreadable expression, your eyes weren't shining, it never was, even when you were playing soccer with him minutes ago. you were smiling but your eyes isn't.

is he the first one to noticed this side of you?

things happened between you two. some people thought you were rival. some people shipped you two, which is funny. some people just found you two as a funny duo. the social medias actually went crazy when the interview video came out. not expecting a duo like you two to came up. they also thought that itoshi sae would actually rejected the offer since you know...

they had a blast with it.

'LMAOOOO, [stage name] IS SO BRAVE FOR SAYING THAT SAE IS RUDE.'

'sae was side eyeing [stage name], fr.'

'me personally wouldn't let that slide if someone said that im faking a smile.'

'say thank you to this show for letting us see this unexpected duo!!'

'PLSPLSPLS I WANT TO SEE THE NAGI'S SIBLINGS NEXT ON THIS SHOW. IT WOULD BE SO FUN!'

'have you guys ever thought what's [stage name] real name is? i mean we know that her surname is nagi, then what's her first name?'

replies:

'if she doesn't want to reveal it, it's her choice.'

'who cares.'

'lmao, she already stated that her name is a secret she doesn't want to reveal.'

your relationship with sae developed more over the years. you could probably see some edits of them at tik tok from time to time as a duo they said. his cold remarks make you wanna slap him but you would get cancel for that. you had some photoshoot with him. surprisingly he was ACTUALLY a pleasant to work with. you pity the interviewer who had to face his cold behavior in the past — but you still slightly dislike itoshi sae.

eating a pavlova at a cute cafe that you find aesthetically pleasing to the eyes while you were taking a walk. you were just scrolling on your phone, texting your little brother if he's doing good there. tbh, you missed taking care of nagi. even if your childhood was basically forced to be taken away from you the moment nagi was born. itoshi sae and his brother had a strained relationship based on your observations, you wouldn't know much about it since both of them are private of their life and doesn't revealed it to the public (just the same as you). you could see it that sae still cared for his brother since rin would do anything to avoid him but sae is making a slight effort at talking to him.

they would never reconcile at this point. it's pointless if they're sitting around without taking action — but fortunately you're not one to get involved into family matters.

oh how lucky it is that this party is called the 'blue lock reunion' — is your secret of being involved with the blue lock project gonna be revealed? only one good thing is that you get to see your brother. "you actually did come, [stage name]." anri was the first one to greet you and you greeted back to her. she said that ego is also in the party well technically she forced him too. you had some things to catch up with her and soon enough you leave the conversation and just basically roam around the party. you looked at your surroundings on how the former blue lock players were so happy. they admitted that they actually missed ego and anri. "nee-san? what are you doing here." i guess it's time for you to come clean...

"ahaha... i was one of the staff.."

"what."

"yeah."

"you were in japan all along when i was in blue lock?"

you hummed and didn't say anything yet until you were pulled into a hug by you own brother. you felt like crying because this is the first time nagi actually hugged you since it was always you giving the affection. maybe, nagi was homesick... you patted his back and laugh it off. why is your little brother taller than you so much?

"thank you, nee-san. for taking care of me all these years."

why is he thanking you? it was your responsibility to take care of him — but, it's nice to see nagi matured now.

"sei, you've matured."

this was such a scene to cry on for nagi's friend. the hug only lasted for 5 minutes (nagi wanted more minutes but you said you were tired of tip toeing to him). the fact that nagi was talking alot, only to you tho. like he was basically telling you everything that happened to catch up with you. in a corner, there was basically someone who was staring at you two, probably thinking if that could be him and his brother one day. like the old days. basically you were looking at nagi in a loving manner, like a mother does.

at this point, your social battery went out. you feel like the party has gone for too long. it was exhausting you. a matter of fact, you just wanna lay in bed right now but that didn't work as there was a familiar face walking towards you. you guess it, it's itoshi rin. the younger brother of itoshi sae. if you mentioned sae right now, rin might just turned away from you or looked at you with disgust because you said that man's name.

"[stage name], are you dating him?"

"eh?"

you felt like your soul was coming out of body. visibly shocked that rin would ask you that. you thought he was just gonna say something and immediately left after that. is he thinking that his brother is dating you?

"im not dating anyone though..." you stated and rin looked at you suspiciously.

"good."

basically that was the first interaction you had with itoshi rin. both of them are really similar in personalities. itoshi sae would kill you if he heard that. you decided that you are gonna leave the party so you searched for anri to informed her, you were going to left but she was nowhere to be found so you only told your brother and left. you wanted to have some time alone. you rode your motorcycle in the middle of the night like you used to do when you were in highschool. your usual stop is a beach and god decided to give you a surprise.

itoshi sae was at the beach gazing at the sea. you doubt that he didn't heard the motorcycle sounds, he's probably here for the same reason as you. the light from the moon shone against the sea wave creating a beautiful scenery for you and him. he didn't looked back to see the person who decided to disturb his peace at the beach.

"didn't know you could ride a motorcycle, [stage name]." ah, he knew it was you and yet he still didn't bothered to look at you. his voice was slightly off from the tone of voice you used to hear from him.

"everyone have their own melancholy time. right, itoshi?"

you always came here to gathered your thoughts when you were in highschool.

"you're the worst for not giving me an alone time."

"don't be like that, itoshi. i have always come to this place when i was a teenager."

"then share this place with me. bring me with you whenever you want to go to this place."

"is this your way of saying 'i love you' to me?"

"hmph."

he's not denying it. is he being serious? this is the first time someone confesses to you like this. it was always with the straightforward i like you and those typical cheesy lines that you could see in a romance drama. for the first time, sae turned his back from you.

"you're not smiling."

"do you want me to smile all the time?"

"i don't care if you're not smiling but... i want you to smile with your eyes once."

you slightly widen your eyes at what sae said. did he saw your expression just now? what's with this guy always understanding you. he reminds you of someone, someone you left long ago. your lips turned into a thin line before you spoke again.

"sure, i will bring you to this place whenever i want too."

the winds from the beach make your silky hair to be swayed from it. you looked beautiful to him. is this the end of your rivalry with him? yup, definitely. the start of a new relationship with you. maybe you will smile with your eyes for him now.

"itoshi, have you played with the water here?"

"sae."

"you want me to call you that?"

"yeah."

"didn't know you like older woman."

"and i didn't know you like a younger man from you."

"pfft."

a few weeks after you guys became lover, you guys relationship was publicly announced by an acc that keep track of what's happening in the soccer community. some people did believed it untill the two of you released a statement. you two qrt the post.

'yes, i am dating the world famous badminton female player. stop saying it's fake news under the post.'

'yeah, i am dating the itoshi sae. lol.'

the relationship between you two shocked the world and especially the former blue lock players. your brother cannot believe it but he also release a tweet. the fans thought that this was a funny moments now they are only waiting for the other itoshi to release a tweet too to captured this moment.

'lmao, i also didn't know my sister was dating someone.'

replies:

'WHAT THE HELL.. EVEN NAGI DIDN'T KNOW HAHAHHAHA.'

'now i wanna know what does the other one thinks.'

'that's crazy bro...'

'we need update about their relationship and how it happened.'

"meow."

your pet cat was purring at your lap. the cat already ate, and it was probably feeling playful. your cat was a british shorthair breed. what's the cat name? lokhi. loki but with a h. you just wanted the cat to fit choki, you brother's cactus. it you who gifted it to him. you found it funny how now you're dating itoshi sae. you've never dated anyone in your life neither have you liked someone too. do you love sae? yes. he was one of the people that understand you and you have no doubt that sae haven't dated someone either. so you two basically were a rookie at dating but things worked out!

you two have a tight schedule and fortunately after the big revealed you two are dating, alot of shows are begging for you two to come to do the interview but you didn't wanted that. you only took the photoshoot offer with sae. you especially liked the time when you two photoshoot for dior. it was the little moments that you loved.

intentionally brushing your hands at sae's hand and he looked at you, confused — you're just making an innocent face at him. it's funny really how you two are still trending on twitter. people are still freaking out by this and you kinda felt bad for rin when the day you got together with sae was the day rin asked is the two of you dating. you just hoped that whenever sae get back to japan to visit his parent, rin wouldn't say anything.

two years in the relationship and you smiled with your eyes for the first time on the 1st anniversary. you were happy that sae stayed with you, giving you the attention. the unconditional love you never had from your parents. he knew you loved cinnamoroll, so he gave you a bouquet of it. your parents knew of you two relationship. sae's parent response was positive but for your parent... i mean they were traveling around the world, who cares about their opinion.

you never thought that he would be your first love and lover. you hope that he was the groom to your bride. oh, not to mentioned you met his parent formally and his brother too.. ofc. you managed to make rin like you and reconcile their strained relationship and yet you still see them not talking to each other from time to time. you doted on rin because it feels like you were taking care of nagi. sae didn't said anything about doting on his little brother, he appreciates it since it feels like the first time the brothers met you.

you liked ice cream. they do too.

sae become more affectionate with you now since it was always you gotta peck him on the lips. you definitely want to marry this guy and he want to marry you too.

note: done. this thing is more than 1k, im sure of it. WAJJH IM FINALLY FREEEE.. i don't really think this is enemy to lover so I'm really sorry for this like umm weird shit idk lah... have fun.

[fictionfixations]

i had a thought

spoilers for up to book 6 (i thought dump. A LOT.)

remember the prologue

i have a thought so im sharing it

question: what does he think we can even do to stop. well. anyone??? nobody really listened to us (considering we're magicless too a bunch of ppl would look down on us) until we became like friends to them n stuff?? well ace and deuce listened to us i think but we were united under a goal that at all costs had to be reached. to not get expelled. (except us i forgot what was going to happen to us. ..cause we're not actually students ??. ACTUALLY where the fuck are our papers? did crowley just. make them up? cause if you need papers to expel someone then you need some written form of proof then. which means each student probably has files for them, like. say. proof of 'hey this person goes to this school' etc etc. what did he do with us? did he just not admit we existed to the government? but literally everyone in the school knows we exist so surely one of them blabbed like. idk. maybe some stereotypical rich brat whose like 'EWW THERES sOME' uh 'MAGIcLESs PERSON COMMON fOLK wHAtever the fuck IN THIS prestigious SCHOOL!' and like idfk like how ig maybe some of the rich think the poor will give them a disease just by breathing the same air as them [actually maybe they could though but like YKNOW what i mean] but like. if we're just completely undocumented, excluding the unexplainable shift of some funds for ramshackle i IMAGINE so we can pay for shit and live then are we not really. documented anywhere else? styx probably has something but uhh. also theres probably a bunch of law violations attached that i cant even be bothered to touch at the moment. also there are magic diseases right? but so they also have immunities to stuff. but we're from a completely different world so we've never had contact with their sicknesses. so like. ...yknow how theres a ban around like this one island i cant remember the name of because if you interact with them you'll spread stuff to them theyve never been in contact before with that you might not even realize u have cause ur immune and they'll die? like its illegal to go there at all, they're living entirely without technology. also they're hostile. you will die if you go there [if you dont get caught by the people patrolling to make sure they stay without contact]. ..i mean stuff has happened outside of canon we can see. its canonical that the overblot peeps have gone to counseling and medical mages. so maybe im making a big deal out of nothing)

im. sorry. i got really distracted i didnt intend to spiral down to papers i meant to talk about something else

so just. listen.

actually about the expelling ^ three as in Grim, Ace, and Deuce. oh (so wait if they got in trouble would we just. ..still be able to stay?? ?? he doesnt even address us?? well actually grim isnt a student yet but theres FOUR of us not three then so ????)

wait sorry how did we get here ?? (why are we involved? i dont think crowley spoke to us at all when he was angry at the others with the chandelier 😭)

the wiki might be outdated a little because it doesnt update itself when dialogue changes, people have to notice it and then take the time to add it if anything changed so this is from

so if anything changed since then well huh

(if he blamed us for not being able to stop two teenagers with magic while im magicless though i wouldve been throwing hands but im glad crowley hasnt gone that far. ..he still put a firebreathing cat into our custody though. ramshackle dorm is very flammable isnt it? is dust flammable? idk. a lot of wood also i dont think they know what fire extinguishers are. youd think someone would deal with the flames during the entrance ceremony besides riddle and azul trying to catch the flame setter. or if we have one its very unmentioned.)

but so considering grim is our responsibility.. i have to ask how we're meant to stop him..?

like so this is before we really bond with him (aka we find him annoying. unless u got attached to him right away which good for you, i dont know when he wormed his way into my heart but he did at one point and i realized it at the end of i think book 5 aka ignihyde teaser) so grim wouldnt really listen to us (looks down on us)

also i dont know about you but burns HURT. ive burned myself a few times but they're not like the really bad ones (i dont know the difference between degrees and i feel like googling it will haunt me in my nightmares). i imagine grim cant shoot fire too far? maybe a little more shorter/mid range? what even is mid range idk (and the reason it lasted to hit the statue was because of ace's wind magic imo)

well either he can control the range or he can only shoot it out so far. so then. we'd be really close trying to catch him. maybe its in one of the twistunes where he's running away. he turns around and shoots fire at you. fucking OW (also its BLUE. i dont know how colored fire works, but assuming its blue because its even hotter than normal fire. um. ow.)

like SIR im new to this world i dont know how things work

its like... like being saddled with a baby after being suddenly kicked out of the house with no warning (and thus without any of your stuff besides the clothes youre wearing. ..but youve also been isolated from the world youre whole life so WHAT theres MAGIC? whats this about strange laws i dont know about-- wait THIS IS A BOYS ONLY SCHOOL? .........THERES FURRIES?) and the baby is VIOLENT

like HOLD on a second let me at least get a source of income first before giving me a being that utterly depends on me to survive (well. grim can probably survive on his own if we assume he's lived on his own for a bit until NRC. but um. ...well theres a reason there probably needs to be a bunch of childproofing for grim.) when i can barely figure out how to survive here

so. i feel i got very sidetracked. but its also nearing the time i sleep so my brain is slowing down on me and my thoughts have veered off the train tracks enough that this is just a whole mess of thoughts spewing out

i hope im making sense but im probably not

wanted to crowley bash because why are you putting me in charge of people probably the same age as me (minus grim) but with an advantage against me considering they have magic and i dont (not to say that people who know how to fight cant beat their asses but like. ...i dont know how to fight so.)

but he also hasnt given me reason to in canon i guess (if anythings happened outside of prologue i have no recollection of it. i just went through the wiki searching for every page with 'bill' or 'expense' in it)

surprisingly fanfiction either turns to 'crowley is an asshole' (and also actually pays attention to yuu and blames them like oh) or 'parent crowley' which speaks for itself (and is very cute in its own right but i also dont like him regardless as i dislike all adults that put responsibilities on children to be fucking idk child soldiers or to fight shit or deal with shit. i mean crowley doesnt go that far but i still dont like him)

those fics though start from prologue and go in order (some include vignettes and events) so i assumed that it followed it close enough to be a recreation but [so and so] but i was wrong apparently

still tho

[zukkacore]

could you explain the 8 jaces thesis I'm not sure I quite get it

OK SORRY THIS SAT SO LONG LMAO. 8 Jaces thesis is just what I jokingly call like. My personal internal logic on how many jaces there are are exist with both fantasy high and within the minds of the characters. However, for any of this to make sense, once we get to like. The conceptual Jaces. You HAVE HAVE HAVE to buy into the internal logic that Porter cared for at least some version of jace, maybe even loved him. A logic I buy into readily bc of Porter's need to look to the future and see a version of someone that doesn't exist in canon with Gorgug, but also Porter's need to look back to the past with nostalgia and grasp onto something that he views as glorious and true and already gone. Whether Porter looks to the future, or the to the past, he covets what he can't have. There is a future version of jace he wants. There is a past version of jace he wants. He is failing to hold onto either while also having encircled both and made them his. AGAIN. This is not canon, this is an INTERNAL LOGIC you just have to buy into that is extrapolated from the text. And with that, we can get into 8 Jace theory.

It's probably best to work our way up.

CANON

PART 1: JacePrime - the original Jace which I usually call Jaceprime to distinguish him from his 3 clones. There are two versions of Jaceprime

Pre-JacePrime - The canonical Jace that existed before he was shatterstarred. And we can guess that he may have been the jace that we saw in Freshman year. This is the First Jace

Post-Jaceprime: The canonical Jace that existed after getting shatterstarred. I feel like it's valid to compartmentalize these into two different Jaces even tho they are not like. Physically different like the clones are. This feels fair bc in the narrative his personality is pretty different in Junior year, so much that it makes the old jace seem like a nonentity by comparison? There's also the fact that he died and came back to life and is being on some level controlled by Porter. (I think on some level there even is a form of potential possession as well? It's very up to interpretation. Like ruben doesn't remember anything and Porter can definitely call upon shatterstarred people to Do Stuff for him n follow commands)

However, these two jaces are like. Two different versions of the same Jace. But they are Canon

Pt 2. Jaceclones

3. 4. 5. Jaceclones - These are like. Fully people. That jace summons in the final battle. They are not a hivemind and to not share a consciousness. They are not really mirror images. They are like. People. Tbh based on the way the spell acts it kinda seems like if Simulacra could be used to make multiple people instead of one. I also feel comfortable calling these all Jace, they are just a different Jace. Because they are people they have the capacity to basically be him. And they are all canon.

Before I continue. I will say that the original stemmed from ppl making Jokes about 4 Jaces bc of Jaceprime and the jaceclones. But 4 Jaces thesis became 5 Jaces thesis when I was like. To be fair tho the jace we see in JY is not the real jace. There's a fifth jace, freshman year jace, who is dead. Who haunts the narrative (i know overused phrase but idc)

Pt. 3 Jaces that are Conceptual - or exist in a character's head.

6. Porter's Idealized Post-Jaceprime: Technically, Idealized Pre-jaceprime existed first bc it was suggested by @adaines-furious-feast but we're gonna skip to Post Bc I think you need to understand Idealized Post Jaceprime. Idealized Post-jaceprime (I think is an @italicized-oh special? Sorry if I got this wrong. P sure it was a message from them in my inbox) is the version of Jace in porter's head that he thought he would get when he killed jace and brought him back wrong. In my mind, this ties into my whole thing abt Gorgug MCAT Thesis, which is a different thesis on Porter's relationship to Jace. IMO, A lot of the perceived flaws that Porter sees in Gorgug are real flaws in Jace. Porter percieves Gorgug as noncommital, not very bright, timid, and afraid to embrace his natural gifts. Porter wants to actualize Gorgug. This is similarly, the perfect, actualized Jace that Porter thought he would be getting. Making plans with. Being his darling little acolyte saint stardiamond. This is also a fantasy that the real post-shatterstar jace can only fall short of.

7. Porter's idealized Pre-Jaceprime: Again, this is an AFF special. This Jace is the old version of Jace that exists only in Porter's head. Ok. So this is a whole thing that includes having to buy into the internal logic that Porter misses the old Jace. I've made the argument that he has that capacity. he is a nostalgic guy who years for a return to a glorious past. So AS jace exists in his post shatterstar state, the nostalgia Porter has for the old, glorious jace sits alongside his nostalgia for a past that no longer exists. This version in Porter’s head is inherently distorted by nostalgia. Again he covets what he can’t have bc at the time. He could not accept Jace as-is. But now he wants to recapture it. It was perfect as a moment in the past. It is no longer his. It was never his bc it was always in his head.

Outlier Jace who is also a concept but in a different way

8. 25 Year old Green New-Hire Jace: 8th jace is technically an anomaly in that he is both the 8th jace, but also he is a double of all the old jaces. Hence the "this is the 8th jace b/c i'm being generous to your sanity when in reality this is actually 14 jaces. 7x2 = 14) unlike the other jaces, whose ages are kinda indistinct but tend to be interpreted as slightly older, this jace is straight up young. I jokingly call him 25 year old green newhire jace b/c i was just like. Shocked rewatching freshman year how young and inexperienced Jace sounded as a teacher. I think this is a jace we sometimes shy away from confronting, but this Jace is also pitiable in my mind b/c of the sandra lynn connection in which he was exploited by an older person who uses religion as a tool to acrue power, which makes Jace's canonical denial of justice feel very strange and out of place. I actually have kinda come to accept that I do think Jace is canonically probably pretty young and the older middle aged chainsmoker we all make fun of is actually more something we think is funny as a fandom. (And I love cunty middle aged chain smoker Jace. I will never give him up <3)

And there you have it. We have infinite multijace theory. I'm so sorry. Please submit all onceler jokes to my inbox promptly

[motherthroat]

ok see now i'm gonna go down the list again n send u a novel bc quite frankly i'm relentless n want to know wht three emojis u wouldn’t give me + clown around Together 😇

🍪 - this is a given and my motivation behind handcuffing us together for all of eternity duhhh<3

💥 - this is visible to anyone with eyes but i do understand tht it may be nice to hear so yes mori ur layout is very pleasing 👍

🚬 - you Are cool, n perhaps intimidatingly so, but not to me bc you’ve been soft w me before n even tho you're taller.. in my heart, you're my height. or shorter :3

🍜 - see i can’t say this bc i feel like ur skills cannot be imitated bc wht infuses such flavor into ur work is the fact tht it comes from You n it has ur heart in it. so. i will leave all of tht to you n all of the fawning n rabid cheerleading to me 😌

🧠 - yes i learn that there are indeed intelligent life forms out there which is always reassuring and desperately needed in these dark times amen 🙏

suddenly blind and unable to read idk wht the next emoji is omg 404 blue screen of death currently buffering only to finally load…..

🍧 - yes. u are. n i remember sometimes going “omgggg am i special… seeing the soft underside… 🥹👉👈” heheheheheh but again this is jus a Given like. nods at u

🧢 - see idk if i have the proper qualifications to determine whether or not ur a Bro and i would hate to be misdiagnosing out here 😞

🫀 - ok so see the thing abt this one is tht i’m actually a goodie two shoes tht can’t fight n has nonexistent arm strength so this whole killing someone n digging a grave thing would have to perhaps fall to u like . it’s almost a cannibal au situation except we’re not eating them yk? 🫶 but i would offer emotional support ofc n a moist towelette to wipe the blood off. sooo ride or die as in that + i'm your chihuahua guard dog tht would bite anyone's ankle <3 (but this is also a given bc again: the handcuffs. would i cuff us if we weren't ride or dies? exactly.)

🗣 - the thing abt this one is i’d be happy tht ur out there thriving living ur life or i’d assume tht u were here but deleted ur posts before i woke up / logged in bc the alternative would also kill me immediately </3

the only time i’d ever send u a tomato is if i were gently placing one in ur hand bc we were in the kitchen cooking something delicious n u asked me to get u one :) peace n luv on planet earth

i made tht small text n it's still long as hell . rip

𝄢 hey 😎

🍪 ─ u're v fascinating n i mean that. even if u do smth incredibly weird that'll annoy me i'd still go hmm i can fix them. or not bc i'll most likely be knee-deep joining u on wtvr u're doing. u make my ti-dom...... ti-domming

💥 ─ the fact that i'm ur moot rn is prove bc ppl w horrid sense of aesthetic just existing piss me off

🫂 ─ a given. in fact, u can bring up the most outta nowhere, embarassing topic n i won't ever think fuck this lil weirdo asking me stupid shit. tho if it's trivial matters like a post reminding me of u, i prefer to interact publicly. for no rzn................

🚬 ─ no ♡ u are cool... the way i find will byers cool. unintimidatingly so. n the fact that i'm shorter in ur heart is actually sickening to read ngl. this is us denise, this is how we look side by side ↓ 1.) i can rest my chin on top of ur head 2.) if i'm any shorter then we'd both be chihuahua material which is wrong

🍜 ─ ur ability to befriend anyone quick n be generally likable instead of mr. oversuspicious who yells at anybody stepping on his lawn due to a few bad experiences x

❤️‍🔥 ─ do i need to say anyth. c'mon. c'mon. everytime i log in, i wonder what's denise gonna say today abt raggedy ass ppl n what cute stuff is denise gonna come up w. u helplessly dying on the floor due to ur lactose intolerance for the 5th time is Content. atp i'm an enjoyer of a whole denise* not just denise the st blog

🧠 ─ maybe. not necessarily learning new things but being reassured that smone hasn't forgotten the thing

─ ok? i was making a creamy red sauce rigatoni w flan as dessert n u gotta pay the kiss the cook toll to even get the flan i put on the upper shelf but ig smone is full. more for me 🙄

🍧 ─ another given. n here's the thing: i don't like it when ppl get 💗💞💓��💖-coddly w me. s not inherently bad, just that a lot of em expect u to match energies/respond similarly which is. i don't do that. n i don't like how fragile sm mutualships can be over it. but i don't mind u barfing ur love all over my activity partly bc ik uk how i am n none of my painstaking push n pull will deter u + it's U. that's it

🧢 ─ pft no. never even crossed my mind. u hv ZERO bro energy

🫀─ i knew u have the arm strength of soggy fries so i alrd fully assigned myself to do the brute work yes. on a srs note, u're my Friend friend. now me making a distinction between a friend n a Friend friend seems terrible but the latter isn't just existing in the same space peacefully, no, i wanna get to a point where u n i fight over small things n make up 5 mins later. i want us to bonk e/o on the heads. i want sm henpecking going on when necessary. ik u can be relied on for that level of #trust

❤️‍🩹 ─ *n this is why i wanna meet u irl. i want this so bad it's actually embarassing

🗣 ─ yes but if u're enjoying life away from this lawless wasteland n its chronically online weirdos i can do nothing but let u be. get that fresh O². touch that grass

🍅 ─ why the hell would i give u this. why. not in a million yrs. unless... ☹ peace n luv on planet earth indeed. later i'm peeling chilled fruits n sharing it w u on the front porch as we watch the sun set alongside édith piaf's hymne à l'amour

[aito-mation]

forgive me if the question was rhetorical, but in totk link doesn't have to dress up as a girl to get in gerudo town anymore. i dont think the gerudo that sells you the girl outfit is seen in the game this time? not to my knowledge, anyways. link is recognised in gerudo town as the dude who saved everyone and is a close friend of riju's, and so is the only man allowed in. i haven't even seen the girl outfit in totk, but maybe thats just me, so take it with a pinch of salt

unfortunately though, there is a larger presence of creeps trying to get in? theres a guise of "haha we're just trying to do business with them!" thats obviously fake, but im not quite sure what their intentions are but its just a bit uncomfortable to include tbh. one is seen actually inside gerudo town, sneaking around and afraid of getting caught.

the slightly good news is that theres a pretty feminine outfit link can wear without any of the bizzare implications or orientalism. its just a cute outfit with a nice status boost (to my understanding) & theres a larger presence of darker skinned/black coded hylians that aren't exoticised like the gerudo are. bare minimum but i guess we can take what we're given

i really wish that nintendo would be normal about the gerudo and stuff (even giving the other races a little big of language so the gerudo dont seem so Other when they say voe/vai/savaaq etc) but alas, baby steps i guess

the question wasnt rhetorical i have seen one single person on twitter bring up that the orientalist outfit was removed, but they didnt comment on the gerudo’s depiction at all n i saw no other mention of it anywhere, thank u for sending this.

it doesnt sound like they actually fixed the transphobia tho, bc theyre still doing a “girls only” “only guy allowed” cisnormative type shit. “creepy guys” “dressing like women” to access “women’s spaces” is transphobic Period. doesnt matter what the in-universe lore is yknow ?? the real world anti-trans rhetoric rn is at an all time high, its unconscionable to include anything like that.

like doesnt anyone else remember how they intentionally made link androgynous in oot ?? hes not a “strong hero guy” archetype, but a lot of my problem w that is based in the fandom n is a whole other post. idc if link has a “feminine” outfit option bc that just gives the fans i was criticizing the opportunity to further sexualize him. literally the tweet i mentioned, that said they removed the orientalist outfit, comments on links “sexy” outfit he can wear instead. GAG !

also the idea of “baby steps” is for individual people, not international megacorporations bringing in 12 BILLION dollars a year. you Dont need to “take what u can get” u need to not buy games from a demonstratably racist company, and clearly say that the reason is bc they keep including racism in their games. japan as a country needs to address the racism rampant in their media more, n the media companies-especially when they go international-need to recognize the need for awareness. how dare they b antiblack in games they r selling to black people ! how dare they b colorist in games they r marketing in brown ass countries. n its not like black n brown ppl dont live in japan, bc they do n they experience racism constantly ! japan likes to try and separate itself from the rest of asia n in doing so reinforces existing stereotypes about other asians, particularly southwest asians n other asians who tend to have darker skin. japan has a huge colorism problem n that cant b ignored w any of nintendo’s games bc they always put it front n fucking center. the new pokemon games were racist, the fucking kirby game was racist !! nintendo Cannot get a nostalgia pass anymore. theyre not ur friend, n theyre certainly not mine.

tears of the kingdom made 10 million dollars in three days. nintendo is not hurting bc people r rightfully pointing out that they Have to do better. but theyve been actively getting worse, not just in what they put in their games, but in the way they openly mistreat their staff. not to mention putting gary bowser in indentured servitude for having the audacity to try and preserve game history w emulation. nintendo execs have gone on the record saying they dont care if games get wiped off the face of the earth, lost to history. the consumers have to put in the work bc nintendo Will Not.

[kurjakani]

Hiii! I was wondering if you’re still into cyberpunk if you could give us (mainly me) some more Dum Dum/ Royce hcs I love the way you interpret them 💛 just go off the rails plz

I am DEEPLY into dummybaby still even tho its been a while since i played cyberpunk 2077.. the tech stuff is cool in a lot of places but the only ppl who rllly wet my appetite for scifi humanity r the maelstrom and the little hints we get about how they function.. Im not like. adept w any technology i can barely keep my comp 2gether so i dont quite understand it, but the part about Maelstrom bodies or brains somehow amplifying music in Totentanz? Made me d r o o l

ANYWAYS im not gonna talk abt te canonical stuff i barely remember it i need 2 refreshen my brain abt it but ill give. u a quick reminder of how i visualize/characterize Dum dum mostly but ill also give some royce stuff and then ill just go ham w some headcanons abt their basic life.

2 me as like, one of the CHillest maelstrom, which, isnt saying a lot, but 2 me (maybe as an adhd person who experiences the same and mayyy be reflecting a bit teehee) hes someone whos experiencing some level of understimulation who gets over it w extremity.

I usually imagine ngl that its caused by being so overstimulated by an extreme enviroment for his whole life (i mean. night city yk?) that he needs constant punching to get through life. this makes for a vERY hollow feeling life for him but 2 me.

Royces chaos kinda enhances it for him 2 some kinda point of like. purpose? Almost? which is why he seems 2 have at least. like some mild genuine respect & dedication to him. yipee yk.

Royce is just batshit and he loves his music and is the exact opposite he seems 2 be full of energy and so on. Royce is hyped Dum dum is exhausted but seeking smth that feels real and alive and exeptional.

2 me. we get so little abt their personalities in game PLEASE leave me alone this is ENTIRELY speculation and reflective.

anyways yeah just some random stuff!!!!

bc of that i kinda like to think that they r both. unwell sleepers if that makes sense? Dont sleep enough. Royce sleeps naturally very little and dum dum keeps up w him. We doo see dum dum usually just hanging about, lounging, I can totally imagine him taking mininaps constantly, eyes flickering from time to time, head nodding. Snapping 2 awakenness suddenly when Royce starts speaking again.

ive looked at some rotations of dum dums model and some of his bodymods are DEFINETLY more just aesthetic than functional.. at LEAST his upper lip rings. Those r trditional piercings. Probably also is chin metal n much of the stuff around his mouth. Again im not technically adept and Idk what the designers were going for, but I'd love to think that also the cored part around his neck, where they've just taken a part around his spine and replaced it w a dent of metal, is fully appearences, just bc its so extreme and interesting. He likes his bodymods he enjoys the process!!!! Perhaps he even enjoys the care that goes into them, bodymods that heavy must require a lot of care.

I dont. think he has tattoos in his final design right? og dumdum had the tats? Though i do love to think that he got tattoos when he was younger but most of them have just gone through being torn apart by his later bodymodifications. Maybe he has some shitty stick & pokes somewhere thatd be cute. bonding w the boys.

he mentions he likes classic rock music- tbh i kinda love 2 imagine that hed also enjoy old movies/shows? classics enjoyer. i knoww they have like those brainfilms n shit but its rly hard for me to imagine film going out of style fully, just like books havent fully gone out of style bc movies exist. i dont remember if movies r much mentioned in the game though. STILL yeah I bet hed like some horror movies... He would 1000% watch texas chainsaw massacre etc, and movies from our day as classics. Midsommar w / dum dum sounds like a nightmare.

Secretly dumdums a lil interested in philosophy. He kinda dismisses stuff like that but he does have a secret admiration for the world and thoughts. This comes out particularly bc Royce has some weird ideas.

I think he must be running warm most of the time.... My friend asked me if i think his metal parts get cold enough for your tongue to get stuck and yeah thatd be funny he prolly hates cold weather and needs 2 wear a balaklava when its wintery outside so his metal parts dont freeze his face.

seeks purpose but u might not realize it bc hes made chaos his purpose

Litcherally never prolly thinks about cyberpsychosis. if e does, maybe he even wishes for it in some way? in a self destructive sense. Royce is more likely to experience it faster, though which i imagine would be a big blow 2 dumdum

Has a lot of CASUAL friends in the maelstrom but it never gets fully to the level of found family/genuine friends. Yes they have a lot in common, yes he spends all his time w them, but it often feels surface level to him, and "unreal". Hes found a more profound connection in Royce, but i feel like his admiration is a little one sided, and that he realizes it? But is like. whatever this is still nice.

dehydrated, forgets to eat and eats like shit when he does eat. Loves carbs and sugars. Possibly caues some of his exhaustion.

He kinda plays up his emotional outbursts!!!! He isnt that angry. He does it to assert dominance in a very outbursty enviroment. If he was in a chiller enviroment you could actually mess w him quite a lot and hed just laugh and mess back w you.

BOTTHH of their eyes can flicker 2 the beat of music like those old computer apps that played music and had some kinda visual indicator of the rythm. fuck w them

Dum dum prolly drives some kinda rly shitty van most of the time, just bc hes usually hanging out w so many people. Big driver in general!!! Not like a car/bike person but enjoys sitting at the wheel and feeling out how the car runs. usually a p good driver but sometimes he gets too focused on getting some adrenaline and becomes a bit of a mess of a driver.

[swaggy-pregnant-elf-man]

I posted 2,985 times in 2022

That's 1,767 more posts than 2021!

23 posts created (1%)

2,962 posts reblogged (99%)

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@elytrians

@thekidsfromyestergay

@cttrajan1206

@discardedcandywrapper

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I tagged 1,232 of my posts in 2022

#mcr - 290 posts

#ofmd - 79 posts

#art - 65 posts

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

HELP ITS ME SUMI

The londoner in ur birmie squad sjdhhdf

i am so sorry bro i dont think i am who u think i am 😭😭

8 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

#4

aras have you seen the Joan of Arc outfit yet

I HAVE NOW KSKDKLEODJ DKDOEOL I AM GOING RVEN MORE INSANE GOING TO WATCH THE STREAM NOW

10 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

#3

3000 posts!

ashamed 😔

16 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

#2

clownwife

19 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love the energy and all and I don’t want to offend but as a Muslim girl i can tell you that it is literally haram to identify as anything other than your god given gender. Like I’m not trying to be rude and I’m glad that there a respectful supportive people out there but if you’re looking at the Quran and other islamic book you’ll find stories about how its considered haram. Accepting the islam religion means accepting everything and dedicating yourself to it you can’t just pick and choose.

omg my first anon hate hahaha

i know im not obligated to answer hate but im going to anyway bcuz of i have things to say (sparkle emoji) (im on pc and dont have the energy to find an emoji keyboard)

okay first of all nowhere did i say that I identify as Muslim. i get that it was ambiguous tho so its cool. to clarify,, I am personally not Muslim but I kind of have to act like one so I don't get kicked to the streets or some shit lol and maybe I'm a bit of a coward idkkk but anyways

I would be interested to know what other Islamic books ur talking about btw, but I'm pretty sure the quran doesn't mention being trans anywhere at all. in fact I'm pretty certain, I've read it multiple times with translation and commentary interpretations and anyway being trans wasn't really a 'known' thing back then? bcuz obviously patriarchy and gender roles n segregation blah blah was wayyyy more yk. shit I forgot the word. uhhh yk like prevalent?? ofc the quran does mention a shitton about gender roles,, so yk men r the breadwinners, women raise the kids and keep house and be good wives etc. and also remember the big important fact:: GENDER AND SEX R DIFFERENT THINGS!!! meaning technically u cant be 'born' a gender (omfg my keyboard hates me imagine a question mark here) ur born with certain genitals and society assigns u a gender based on that . sounds a bit fucked when u put it like that actually but anyway back when the quran was being revealed this wasn't a known thing cuz yk they didn't have studies on this stuff,, and yea ur probably gonna say 'but the quran came from allah and he knows everything' well the fact of the matter is he either forgot or smth idk I don't speak for God but trans people definitely exist that's a fact we know so yeah. oh I should come back to my point which was, even with the quran saying those things about what ur supposed to do based on whats in ur pants which is crazy outdated anyway it doesn't take gender ≠ sex into consideration either soo ye that's the most it could've said about being trans and that not very valid anymore rip and that's not even mentioning non-binary people

and anyway Islam is literally all about acceptance and respect and everything so idk it would probably be better if u didn't go around telling ppl they're 'literally haram' for being trans or gay or any typa queer bcuz its literally not our choice (insert question marks) believe me I would fucking love to be comfortable in my 'female' body but I cant no matter how much I try to force myself so I'm sorry dude. no one would choose to be stuck in a situation like this. personally, I believe Islam needs a super massive reformation. well not Islam exactly, but a lot of things said in the quran r outdated wildly now, while a lot of it will also always be relevant, eg. everyone being equal and yk give to the poor etc. i have absolutely nothing against Muslims (I have it against my family for being so forceful about religion - different thing) yall r super cool and ik being a Muslim girl isn't easy believe me, but genuinely seeing Muslim people around and yk, just existing in wider society outside of Islamic spaces makes me feel so proud of where I came from even if its not been the best experience. have u seen the show We are Lady Parts (question mark) its about an all female Muslim punk band and there's only six episodes I literally watched it all today but the message of it is what I'm trying to get to you. u don't have to be the perfect pious wife to be considered a 'good Muslim',, there are so many ways u can show faith. you don't have to be a big strong man who can handle all pain with ease while single-handedly providing for a family either.

anyways peace out that sure was a journey lol and I definitely have forgot some of the things I wanted to say but yea that's all don't forget to like and subscribe &lt;3

(colours r to make it easier to read for people with shorter attention spans,, they don't have any other significance)

36 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[red-signal]

i just switched to this tab and found an empty post draft, idk what i was gonna put here

oh yeah a story ima make it under a cut, there are some ghosts mentioned idk if its a trigger but just in case

one time at my old school i was in the girls bathroom (the one near the gym) and i coulda sworn i heard breathing. I looked under the stalls but there were no other feet, and even when i held my breath it was still there. sounded like it was coming from the shower room but that room was only used for tornado drills n squit

so obviously i finished pissing and ran, and i washed my hands at the classroom sink and now i was always scared of that one

so this other time i was at an event, same school, and we only were allowed in the cafeteria and gym (and hallway and scary bathroom)

so i was trying to go to the less scary one but some guy who worked at the school was just like. on guard to make sure everyone stayed in the correct area, and wouldn't listen to the trembling seven year old begging to go to a bathroom that was like ten meters away. so after saying no, i thought to myself "would it be worth it to pee myself to prove a point? no, not worth it. if Pinkie Pie were in this situation, she would become friends with the ghost, so I will too." I seriously looked up to that bouncy pink horse when i was little. So, I went into that bathroom, all alone, ready to befriend the ghost haunting the bathroom.

I was like, 100% sure it was haunted, cuz most students there agreed and were scared of it too. even the boy students knew. (this was in elementary school, nobody really knew there were other options than boy and girl, so I'm referring to everyone as I knew them. I haven't seen most of these ppl since 5th grade.)

anyway, I walked in, checked if any other living person was there, and when I saw there wasnt, I said "Hi. I know you're here, at least kind of here, and I know you've scared me and a lot of other kids. I won't lie, I am scared, but I won't let that make me mean. you deserve friends too. do you wanna be mine?" or at least something like that. It's been years, i don't remember the exact words

I should add that I had like 5 friends, including a tree.

but after I said that, I felt a lot less... burdened? hated? scared maybe? i dont know how to describe it. I always talked to the ghost after that whenever I was in that bathroom, and even tho i never knew for sure if they really existed, I did feel like i made a friend

anyway thats a fun little story ima do stuff now bye

[sehodreamsthoughts]

ok wait not to double text but also i just saw ur post about teeth🤭🤭 i rly wanna write horror fics too… they were such a big thing in my exo days i feel like n i just think they’d be fun to come up with plots for… like i think i saw u talking about cannibalism at one point i hope that was u and honestly i would love to write nasty creepy things like that maybe with smut😔😔 but i feel like ppl already shit on dark content enough i feel like thag would just go too far… but like,, its for arts sake… and i think sometimes ppl just don’t understand that. maybe it’ll be hot too, but its not meant to be realistic, and idk if ppl are mature enough for that😓

- 🥟 anon

EXACTLY, IT'S FOR THE SAKE OF ART 😭

I loved horror fics so much! Exo had so many of them, and when I used to stan BTS they had some too! (however not as many as EXO, no one did let's be real, exo quality of fanfiction is otherworldly).

Yess I did talk about cannibalism but I guess riize!Tumblr is not ready? I found the opinion shared of fem!riize really sad too, I mean it is okay to say you don't like something but what's been said is... I prefer to not comment. I find it a bit unnecessary that people try to mix the real world with the fictional one but I suppose it's just not everyone's cup of tea. Personally I've grown up with a ton of stories, not only from fanfiction but from manga, anime, books, comics, I've been in a ton of fandoms and when I was young I'd read just about anything I found on my hand so I find beauty in a lot of things that aren't conventional, I think that limiting ourselves with things like morality in fiction is too boring to be truly enjoyed! A ton of people seem to not want to use their brains to interpret, read between lines and create more from the little stories we have in the fandom, and I have to admit that I'm not a great writer, I'm no nobel prize or anything wtf, but I can add my little grain in other's stories and at least not judge authors...

Still, I don't want to say it's not okay if some don't want to go beyond what's "normal" in fiction and just read the usual stuff, I like it too, the difference is I'd never judge someone from creating something different.

Gender, sexual orientations, culture, religion, everything can go beyond the lines of what's considered normal, we've seen it happening in real life (really hurting people, which, of course, I'd never wish to happen), so why should fiction have a limit when this one stays in a world different from the real realm? Of course I'd never support certain things even in fiction, I'd rather take my eyes out and choke myself than read a smut with a minor or bestiality, but I have a whole opinion about those cases and the existence of the factor of consent (in an animal, for example, how could you describe the line of consent? There's no consent in any case, and just like that, I find that the absolute use of an alive being not able to form an opinion or voice, disgusting as fuck. There are no conversations, no real interaction between two beings with a point of being equals in the sense that they can form a thought and express it, so to force one's wishes in something or someone that feels pain but could never, in any case, voice it, think it, or explain it... That's just not something I want to read).

Yeah sadly I also think that the fandom is not ready for it, which is so sad 😭, I remember 48 hours of EXO being a masterpiece , and if there was just one for Riize too... Sighs.

[hitachiincest]

for that scene with the script (when renge becomes their manager initially) in the manga and anime are actually different. in the anime, Kao and Hika are complaining about how Kao is the pitcher as you pointed out, but in the manga, as I mentioned earlier, they complain about how they were drenched in the rain, and then afterwards, Haruhi, Mori, and Hani were teasing the script, (sorry for repeating this… gahhh ;; that while it seems Hikaru is the one that leads, it’s the more mature Kaoru that drives the action, and then they were like “we work that way,” and “so what’s the diff?” just to clear that up :) but like i said, i do get why ppl do make Kao the princess and everything, but still, they’re not all about that metaphor (in the manga, there was none of that metaphor anyways) and it sounds personal, but for me it’s hard not to get peeved bc Kao is like that on occasions, and he’s not all delicate and uwu like how people make him out to be (and for the fanarts, trust me, they do exist) but sometimes i just wish people would make them cross dress together (they always have, together in the manga especially) like as alices, the witch, in their childhood, for the lobelia girls and everything. doesn’t help the fact that Kao’s hair is slightly longer post canon… ;; like, there’s so much hikakao content, but nowhere near as enough as kaohika… again, i’m so srry for prolonging this (this was an excuse to vent lol), just am glad to see someone with a similar way of thinking <3 i hope it wouldn’t be bother if we could talk more abt the twins on occasions? like dynamics, plot ideas n stuff?

ohhh I see.. that's quite a difference, huh. also I'm surprised that hikaru would allow himself 2 even mention that he's p vulnerable. I wonder why they made that change in the anime. also ehhh?! such a big part of anime!kaoru wasn't even originally in his canon?! that feels insane... did they add it to create more angst I wonder...... has it all been a lie... orz /j I do still like the metaphor tho but I'm also a bit of an angst whore so it appeals to me specifically ghsjnd

for fics at least maybe they don't have them both crossdress bc that's a bit unconventional most of the time. for smut (& i guess r18 art) at least. tho double crossdressing sounds like a treat to me lol but its p rare/a niche (& i see why. unless its specifically lingerie) & for most they prefer one or the other w typically the sub dolled up so.. alas to our poor martyral boy.. orz orz in just general arts tho, most definitely they should both be in cute dresses. less of a niche. matching cute coords. them doing each other's makeup. Peak. i think if they did grown up versions of their blue & pink kid coords they would be so pretty.

post-canon kaoru mention spotted uryaahhh he's cute.. I remember he's, like, a fashion designer (cuuute) & grew out his hair n was adorable... from my memory anyways. guys w slightly long hair my beloved.

im sure there's more kaohika stuff out there if one looks! the eng sphere might be leaning toward hikakao but typically the jp fanbase tends to be a bit more Based. so long as one can access photo translate ya could probably find a trove on somewhere like pixiv! unless u specifically wish it was more popular in the eng sphere & alas can't help ya there.. ¯\_(;w;)_/¯

ah... ur free to spitball thoughts in my inbox when it's open I guess if u want & I'll reply if I can but im not much of a socializer + ouran isnt 1 of my main interests, despite my love for it, so i dont think id be able to contribute much other than a thumbs up anyway ^^;;

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

Ok im rlly eepy. Had a moment of feeling like i was worth nothing and everyone hates me and the world was going to end. And then. I listened to video game soundtrack. And thought of all th what the fuck. What the cuck i think i saw a fuckin ghost in my room ong. Looked like. Car headlights going past. But my backs to my window and the curtains r closed. Omg. Ghost if ur reading me writ rhis tumblr post then i hope ur. Havin a ghosty time.

Anyways i then thought of all my special vlorbos from thevideo gane and how they probanly thought at points that they wrre worth nothing n that evey9ne hated them and that the worldw as going to end. Hut like. I knew that was wrong bc im the player and i love them amd ik their video game friends love them and ik their world didnt end bc even tho theres no epilogue to the story we know that. After the story. Little guy gets his happy ending. Maybe i am someones video game character and they are looking down at me being oike nooooooo babygirllll ur so sexyyyy and i lvoe youuuu and everyone loves youuuuu because its easier to realise that when. Ur the player. Bc u get obsorbed into this silly world but u dont have the stress and noise of having a brain and having an impact on the world so u get to spend all ur time beign a viewer and as a viewer unnotice things that would get drowned out by brain noise. Man. Is this y ppl believe in god or smth bc like. Someone whos a 'higher power' simply bc theyre just so like outta it all they can just like. Not deal w all th3 sillt Character stuff. If im in a video game. I hope i have an awesome soundtrack. Like undertale. Or omori or. Lifemis strange. Maybe those r all my soundtracks bc i listen to them. And. I am me.

Ok gonna go sleep now nc .im tired. Ogh this is a good song. I love the omori soundtrack sm. Omoris such a good game dude. Id sacrifice 40 hours any day to juwt play it.again fo4 the first time ovviosuly bc, doing things 4 the firs ttime is half the fun. And then every other time is also half the fun. Thats why it comes in half.ves.halves. but remember to be patient from omori is a very good song.everythings so good man. And school sucks bc it makes u think thats not true. And theyre so. Violent. Emotionally violent. But i know that school is wrong and it doesnt matter and i cant exist in the wrong way and i cant make art in the wrong way and all my teachers are wrong when they insult their other students because i know theyre wrong and. My friends are nice. And i am nice. I try to be when i can atleastmi think . Im gonna go to sleep and. Im glad i have friends. And i cant wait for. Th3 day i leave school. For good. Because then everything will be alright

[mithliya]

I don't really believe bisexual women can go years consistently never experiencing any sort of OSA at all, maybe they say it to save face, but sexuality isn't something you can turn off or on, even if they were able to do that means they're aware of having OSA. The bi-cycle seems to be a heated debate in the bi community on if it even exists, but I gotta say, whether it exists or not it's often used as an excuse for shitty behavior.

i can’t comment on this part bc like i think neither of us can truly know how legitimate of an experience it is. i do know that a far more commonly documented phenomena is bi women (many in this situation will unfortunately call themselves lesbians tho) being exclusively into men for decades of their lives and then suddenly only being into women. this is so common i recall reading a whole research paper about it, except they were reframed as late blooming lesbians (imo that term should be reserved for the homosexual women who unfortunately spent a long part of their lives closeted. not women that exclusively experienced OSA until their 40s and then lost interest in men). so i feel like if that’s true, then surely the other way around is too? idk as i said, the bi women i know who previously identified as lesbians (not just for a short time either, im talking years here) were often inexperienced completely w men, sometimes also inexperienced w women, and insist they never had a crush on a man or interest in them until it just. happened one day. honestly hearing such stories was terrifying to me & to many other lesbians in the aforementioned server bc like, if that can happen then how do we know?? i remember asking them if there were signs n they insist there’s none. it’s not comforting to hear and i can see how many homophobes would use this to argue that lesbians can just change if we find the right man.

for the rest u said, i do think that of course lesbophobes will use these situations to reaffirm the idea that lesbians aren’t a real existing groups but such people will find something to dismiss us regardless imo. i think the bigger issue is women calling themselves lesbians despite knowingly being into men / being previously into men, whether it’s for political reasons or others, such women are imo moreso responsible for such dismissal of lesbians. i also partially blame shit like lesbian porn which basically shows a bunch of, often het, women having sex purely for the male gaze. and many bi and het women who reinforce that sorta stuff by getting w women and making out w women purely to turn on their boyfriends.

i don’t blame lesbians for being wary and fed up. but i do think some ppl go too hard on women who thought they were lesbians & realised they were actually bi. i think ultimately vilifying them collectively often times ends up hurting lesbians more bc many of these women will just keep that they’re bi to themselves and pretend to be lesbians anyways bc they don’t want to deal w people being pissed or unhappy w them. to me that’s ultimately far more harmful bc then we’ve got women potentially having sex w men on the low but then calling themselves lesbians in public. id much, much rather these women just come out as bi immediately instead of pretend. and i think anyone who uses their stories to perpetuate the idea that being a lesbian is changeable or not real should be fought by us anyways bc they’re obviously a lesbophobe using such stories to justify their already existing lesbophobia

I've been thinking lately about the women on here who claim that any woman who thought she was a lesbian and later realized she was bi was deliberately lying. I think it comes from a place of fear about being wrong about their sexuality. But that pressure and stigma they put out into the community about being wrong makes it harder for women who were wrong about themselves (in any direction or way...thinking you were bi but you're straight, bi but lesbian, lesbian but bi, etc) to come forward about it. And then I think that only makes their fear about being wrong even worse and perpetuates more of the nastiness.

Yeah, there's a chance that I'm wrong about being a lesbian and one day I will wake up and be attracted to a man I guess. I don't believe it will happen because I'm secure in my sexuality and don't take it out on others. But even if it did, it wouldn't make me a bad person and I also still wouldn't date a man because bi doesn't mean you have to date men. I'd just have to admit I was wrong and that can be hard but we don't have to make it harder. No one is perfect and the world can make figuring this all out harder because we don't live in a vacuum where sexuality, which should have no stigma attached to it and no oppression or privilege, is not a neutral thing in reality.

agreed with u here. we need to make it normal for ppl to admit to when they were wrong about their sexuality, instead of making it like a public spectacle and assuming the worst. im not saying there weren’t cases where ppl were simply lying, im sure there was, but there’s also cases of ppl genuinely being confused. i identified as bi for like 3 years (tho i was quiet for the first year, wasn’t sure how i felt about men throughout & for like the last year of it i was rly thinking that im actually a lesbian but wanted to be sure before i said anything) and it wasn’t some kind of malicious act. i wish sexuality could somehow be visible at times or sth so that we could know for a fact and never be wrong especially bc it’s so persecuted and doubted by homophobes & others but the reality is there’s nothing to really “prove” that kind of stuff. our sexuality is more or less internal and our understanding of it will change depending on our own thinking and awareness. this makes being wrong about it pretty possible. i run a lesbian-only server and there were many women who would have sexuality crises or would realise they’re bi (most were still young so it makes sense. i think it makes sense to be bi but feel so strongly about women that u only notice feelings for men between ages 18-22) and i talked to some of these women for years. iirc all of them have never been with men and didn’t realise they felt anything for them until a certain point. it can be scary esp when u confidently thought u were a lesbian for years and it’s difficult to accept as well after you’ve already gone thru the process of accepting urself as a lesbian. i believe they were honest about their situation and didn’t secretly know or sth. they were just young & inexperienced & that can happen. what matters to me is that the person who previously misidentified as a lesbian doesn’t then claim they “used to be a lesbian” or that sexuality can change. being mistaken is ok and shouldn’t be treated w such scrutiny & suspicion on here. instead being honest about it like that should be encouraged

[moonchildstyles]

SORRY THIS IS A LONG ONE!!

Okay so what if maybe aster y/n is in class and she overhears some girls how she really likes but anyway... they’re talking about how one of them went to the “tattoo shop nearby” to see about this piece they wanted to get and she’s like “the owner??? No... not the cute one with no tattoos the one with long hair is so hot omg” and y/n smiles shyly they don’t know she can listen because maybe she’s wearing her headphones... and she’s a bit insecure but still amused and they keep going “his name is Harry I think but guys... I just kept thinking... you know those tattoo chairs” by then y/n is reading from her book and yeah she knows about those chairs and has done stuff there the and then one of them remembers “wait isn’t he y/n’s boyfriend” and the girl is super embarrassed like “omg did y/n hear?? But she’s like... so... sweet? and he’s like... you know” SO CLASS IS OVER LOL and y/n happens to see H outside waiting for her and looking FINE AS FUCK looking for her in the crowd like if no one else exists as usual and is bringing lunch for them both and as soon as he sees her he’s like baby! Hi, missed you so I brought lunch! And gives her a little kiss and tells her if he can take her bag and they just walk away together with his arm around her and the other girls are like 👀👀👀 definitely her boyfriend and while they eat she tells him some girls in his class think he’s so hot and I’m too... sweet for you and he’s like well you are 🥺🥺🥺you’re the sweetest thing ever 🥺🥺🥺

I CAN TOTALLY SEE THIS HAPPENING🥺🥺🥺 like those girls are some of her friends but they're only like....in class friends u know what I mean? shes not super close to them but they get along in class and don't mind like pairing up w her and talking to her and stuff so they’re just nice and like y/ns not really paying attention when they start talking about tattoos they want she just thinks to maybe like recommend h's shop to them before class is out but its nothing really serious cause shes just working on some things until they do bring up the shop and she just pauses her music and she just stops bc she...like ofc they’re going to say good things about it bc why wouldn't they and y/n wants to be able to go home to h and be like guess what I heart some ppl saying about the shop today!!!!! so shes just listening in and this girl was talking about how she wanted to request the owner for her piece and y/ns like good choice:) and then they start talking about how hot the guy w the long hair and the piercings is and shes like .....they are very correct but its kind of weird hearing other ppl talk about how hot her boyfriend is and she doesn't want to stand up and be like hello!!!! so she lets them be and then they start talking about doing stuff on the tattoo chairs and it just makes her more fhsufushf bc she knows exactly what she means and she can't believe like what shes hearing bc ahh!!! thats her bf !!!! and then one of the girls kinda catches up and is like hm...I think thats y/ns bf we're talking about and that launches them into a whole other conversation bc is she sure that that guy is y/n's bf bc they just don't really see it shes just....so cute and sweet and hes very....You know and y/n doesn't even know what that means she just feels a little :( bc it makes it sound like shes not supposed to be w him but she knows they don't mean any harm like they’re not the first ppl to kind of question how they're able to work so well together but it still hurts but when class is over she just says bye to those girls and tells them she overheard them talking about wanting to get a tattoo and she recommends the shop over by the library bc the owner is really talented and she just leaves it at that and when everyones all walking out y/ns just planning on either hanging out in her car or going to the library while she waits for her next class to start but harry's already there like waiting for her and he just looks...so good in his all black and his hair is down and he has his sunnies on and he has food in one hand for her and shes just !!!!! h!!! and when he finally spots her he gets a huge smile on his face and pushes his sunglasses up and meets her halfway and baby!!!! how was class I missed you!!! I brought u lunch if u wanted to spend some time w me? and shes just !!!! bc ofc🥺🥺🥺 and even tho shes not super into pda I think just from hearing how much those other girls wish they could do the thins w harry that she does that she might pull him down for a little kiss and h would be all :))))) bc he just loves kissing her (maybe the next day in class those girls kind of ask y/n who it was that met up w her for lunch and like she gets to really talk about h as her boyfriend and they're very kind to her and tell her how cute h is and that shes super lucky and like its a nice conversation bc they’re still her friends) and when they go out to eat together like h takes them to a cute little spot not too far from campus but they’re still alone shes like h...some of my friends were talking about how hot u were today and stuff and hes like oh??? and shes like and they said they didn't believe we're together im too sweet for you bc youre so "you know"🥺 and he gets one look at her cute fave and he just🥺 bc baby u are too sweet for me, ur the sweetest little thing ive ever met but that doesn't mean anything yeah? we love each other and thats what matters and she'll ike okay🥺 they also said they kinda wanted to do something w u on the tattoo chairs and hes like OH??????????

[matoitech]

hmmmmm how abttt u pick one of these:

moonwatcher, starflight or (obligatory) gueira :3c

SORRY I HAVE SO LITTLE TO SAY ABOUT THEM theyre actually like characters in both their arcs that i have the least to say about i think? moonwatcher to me had a rly strange characterization shift in between her pov book and the other books (that didnt feel in line with a 'she views herself differently than others view her' thing) mostly in perils cuz thats the one i remember, i dont remember well so i could be wrong but the narrative placed her in like this antagonist setup where she was kind of mean but the narrative framed it like her 'learning how to stand up for herself' or something and i just wasnt rly into it. like its not like i dislike this literal child character so i didnt check off the box i just dont understand her writing i feel like there were better directions i wouldve liked more bcuz she felt like ever since her pov book the ball got dropped on her writing n she just existed to like.. disagree with the other characters and be manipulated by darkstalker. maybe its that she just wasnt rly active enough in the narrative for me? tho both wof arcs did start out w the more passive povs so ig that would make sense. id have to reread to see if i have any basis for this tho. i just dont rly vibe w her character

starflight was always my least fave of his arc he just didnt rly do it for me either i think like nervous nerdy male characters have to be done a certain way for me to rly care abt them but he just kind of reminds me of remi. sorry starflight. NOW FOR GUEIRA

I ALSO DONT HAVE A /LOT/ TO SAY ABT HIM BEYOND LIKE, I LIKE HIM AND HES COOL AND I RESPECT THE PPL WHO GET RLY INVESTED IN HIM N MEIS / MAD BURNISH YKNOW! i cant speak on like fan characterization for him bcuz i just never got involved enough to see for him but knowing promare fans im sure he got done dirty. im sure he has more deepness than was allowed him, and while i get why him and meis had the limited amount of screentime they did id love if we got to see more of them... i do like hearing abt him n meis n mad burnish stuff in general from ppl who ARE invested and WERE involved in that side of fan content cuz i was never involved in guemeis stuff i just saw it and was like cool i support them i support their marriage im glad they got wedding rings <3 overall i like him! i do like his design its fun and i like his trivia. i like that there was a draft where he got thrown in jail for trying to assassinate kray n met galo in there, that fucks