#maybe not bc its 1k words lol

[madeholyy]

you choke on your words, but you swallow them faster ; leon kennedy / reader

you had always been afraid of the dark

[ requited love, yearning, hurt/comfort]

You had always been afraid of the dark. Of how it swallowed everything whole like a starving wolf. Your mother always told you that Boogeyman didn’t exist, but he didn’t have to. They ask you how it feels to be so brave. It hurts, it hurts. Because you weren’t brave, it was a facade you wore like a prayer. What was a girl to a God? A sacrificial lamb, a beautiful martyr. He, ever so unkind, left you to rot in the dark each time it nipped at your heels like a herding dog. Your girlhood died where the moon’s illuminating stream of light met taunting shadow. Your place in the world was fragile at best and carnivorous at worst. Or perhaps that was your pessimism hanging off your shoulders worn like a cloak. Cynicism you kept locked away deep inside the barren cavity of your chest as if it was the only thing holding you together. Has fear made you a harsh critic? You had always been hungry for the mundane, the average; a sense of normalcy.

You wished to be ruthless like Persephone, but you were much too soft. The Underworld was not your home; you had lost that long ago. Your mother wove kindness into you and your father his tenderness.

But this wasn’t about the way you were enlaced with benignity to the marrow of your bone. It was about the way your thoughts consume you and steal from you. The way the ocean churned and crashed against the rocks below steep cliff sides.  And how you wished you bled ichor when God gutted you open from navel to throat like your intestines ached for breath. The lingering pieces of girlhood clinging to your person for life and finding none. You were the embodiment of tragedy crafted by human hands; a byproduct of what happens when someone takes what doesn’t belong to them. 

Leon was not unlike you. Perhaps that is what attracted you to him in the first place. He was tenderness veiled beneath bruises— oh, how vibrantly black and blue— not even time could heal. Your wounds sung a similar tune, fitting together like a puzzle. The current he pulled you in with was inescapable, but you hardly wanted to call for help from the shore. Especially not when those impeccable blue eyes held your gaze with such intensity. His stare beheld a harsh winter, but summer peeked out from behind dark pupils with all the warmth it could carry. His reputation preceded him.

There was a question constantly hanging off the tip of your tongue. Can I come home to you? It rattled against your teeth with its overwhelming presence. Especially the night Leon’s lips stood a mere inch from yours with his breath fanning over your face. His pupils blown and his eyes staring into yours as if you’d disappear if he blinked. A moment ago he almost lost you to the same God he abhorred with every fiber of his being and now you stood before him with the same gaze he was watching you with. Oh, how he ached. His fingertips itched to run them through your scalp and pull you closer. How could I ever say no to you? He would reply back if you ever so dared to finally ask him. But he merely stepped back and walked away as if he wasn’t about to take you whole. You forgot how to walk after.

 And you always thought he was invincible. Like nothing even divine could touch him because he would walk away with only a scratch. But you were mistaken. The dark tendrils dancing along underneath his skin in place of his veins frightened you; reminded you of his mortality. You had always been afraid of the dark, but what you should have been afraid of was losing him. And it hung heavy in the air throughout your mission. He was all flesh and bone and borrowed time. Leon was human and humans bled.

Now it was your turn to ache. It came to you like second nature, like breathing, like loving him. Would if you could reach your trembling hand into his chest and rip the parasite out from the depths of his ribcage. You’d hold it in your bloodied hand and squeeze until it bursts. But perhaps your anger was misplaced. It merely performed its duty based on instinct and survival with naught a word of influence spoken in its ear. It would not exist without the aid of another locating a host. The true catalyst was just beyond their grasp. This, however, did nothing to alleviate the anguish and resentment. They were already branded in your bones.

Then Leon would give you that look. The one that cushioned your heart like he was cradling it. It would send a flutter of emotions in your chest with the intensity of his stare. Your face would soften, the hardened expression relaxing into exhaustion and worry. The way you looked back at him threatened to crush his guarded exterior. He would reach over, slow like you were a frightened animal, and gently caress your supple cheek with a gloved hand. Then the dam broke. The tears overflowing from grieving eyes, the struggle to contain the oncoming tidal wave. His hand, his glove. His everyday scent was replaced with something deeply earthy, deeply dreadful. Your own hands cup the one holding your cheek with a gentleness you’d seen in small doses, tiny peeks like morning sunlight through curtains. There was no exchange of words and no need to. These hesitant touches you both partook in said more than mere verbalization ever could.

There was always a lingering wish to be more than this. An unspoken pleading that bounced between your longful gazes. But for now you’d settle for the smaller moments shared in times of reprieve.

When he did speak, his tone was unfamiliar. A warmth blossomed in the hollows of her chest.

“I know.” And he did. He always did. Confirming it was just his way of keeping those three words at bay when they threatened to spill from your swollen lips. Leon didn’t want to hear them because he knew if he did he would give in and he wasn’t good enough for you. You shook your head and inhaled a shaky breath. Leon bit the inside of his cheek and leaned forward only to rest his forehead against yours. You couldn’t have him. He wouldn’t let you. No, Leon was war torn and splintering at the edges. He was meant to be swallowed by the sun, meant to be incinerated to mere ashes. His life was not his own.

The next time you found yourself shadowed in darkness, you felt empty. The unknown lurking beyond your field of vision around castle walls did not chill your nerves. Nor did they cause the hairs on the nape of your neck to rise. You were alone, but you discovered a fear greater than the one before. And it scared you even more.

[welcometoteyvat]

whagghh can we see that hu tao xingqiu snippet wip?

Xingqiu slumps onto his desk, defeated. The deadline for a special volume of A Legend of Sword is scarcely three nights away, and yet he still hasn’t progressed past the first fight sequence. Every word he pens is inadequate, and the brush in his hand is crooked and sluggish, and another colorless midnight has almost passed, and still, he has nothing to show for it. His valiant unnamed hero claims a narrow victory against the Tai-Shogun’s cyborg samurai, and then—and then…

When Xingqiu’s eyelids flutter open again, the lantern by his window has dimmed considerably… He cannot have dozed off for that long, can he?

At least his father and brother are asleep. It would be best if they never find out about his sleeping schedule.

The shadow of his hand is so sharp against his lantern-lit draft. Xingqiu traces the ridges of his knuckles, a flickering black silhouette on the page beneath it. From this angle, it almost looks like a dragon’s mouth, one of the Natlan kinds… maybe he’ll be able to see one in person someday…

His eyes shut slowly.

———

ermmmmm embarrassing... this was supposed to be published with the snippet (so i could've just given you the full snippet since it isn't long anyways) but it's ballooned rather fast and I don't want to wait. also yeah this has no hu tao mentioned because unfortunately she comes in right after this lmao. also the hu tao xingqiu dialogue inspiration that struck me at 2 am yesterday left so now i have to reinvent the wheel (<- bad at banter). anyways i hope you enjoy <3 this idea was kinda random haha, i just wanted to write something from xingqiu's perspective and show how they bounce off each other really well LOL nothing much to it. I was going to change it into xingqiu + venti writers block (venti is one of the muses fr) but i haven't watched irodori thoroughly and decided to keep hu tao. anyways yeah hopefully i finish this thing soon lol

[causenessus]

Hi! Congratulations on your 1K, you really deserve it! I've just seen your post about your event and was thinking of sending something. Could you write ⭐️ with Sakusa where the reader is his roommate and suffer from insomnia ? And could the reader be personality-wise like Sakusa, but the two are already close friends or whatever you want them to be ? This is maybe silly lol, anyway thank you for this event it’s really cool!

can't sleep? | sakusa k.

sakusa x f!reader

written in second person

one word prompt from 1k followers event: ⭐ -> insomnia

"maybe i'll just place my hands over you and close my eyes real tight. there's a light in your eyes and you know <3" from look on down from the bridge by mazzy star

word count: 2.8k words

anon. thank u for this. u have fed all the omi girlies well tonight <3 thank you so much for requesting and i hope you enjoy this fic!!!

notes: lots of fluff <3 THEY ARE STRETCHING!!! JUST STRETCHING TOGETHER i stress this bc i couldn't take myself seriously and even y/n has a moment of "should i ask what we are after this?" but they're just stretching okay. also i frequented this list of stretches and literally followed its order so in case you want to know what stretch they're doing LMAO THIS SOUNDS SO WEIRD I'M SORRY 😭 i attempted to proofread this!!! but i'm sorry for any typos </3

THANK YOU TO @nectardaddy FOR HELPING ME DECIDE ON A COLOR AND MAKING ME VERY EXCITED TO WRITE THIS!! I HOPE YOU ALSO ENJOY IT <3

kiyoomi likes his routines. he likes to be home by a certain time, eat dinner at a certain time, make sure the dishes are washed, and then he likes to retire to bed by a certain time. when he decided to find a roommate in order to split costs, he had been slightly worried that his routines would be ruined, but the universe had worked in his favor.

you had been his first option. he hadn’t even tried to send out messages to anyone else "just in case you declined his offer," he had just simply hoped you would say yes. you were quite frankly everything he could hope for as a roommate; he had known from the times you'd hung out throughout your years in high school that you liked things to be clean similar to him, and trying to find a time for you both to meet up throughout college meant he knew that your current schedules would line up nicely.

and luckily you had agreed enthusiastically, excited to move in with one of your closest friends. it eased your mind to know he would also be organized and keep to himself, which was not something you could say if you had moved in with someone like atsumu (would only become a reality if you had no other option) or osamu (you would consider it, after a lot of convincing and compromising).

and kiyoomi had been right. the decision to room had worked out perfectly in nearly every way. you always got home before him and would make your own dinner and take care of your dishes, leaving the place empty and spotless for him by the time he returned. sometimes, you even left notes for him, saying you had leftovers that he was free to eat if he wanted. 

and it wasn’t that he didn’t want to see you. you were good friends, after all, and one of the few people he found he could always tolerate even when a day had stressed him out. but you both had agreed that you liked having time in the kitchen to yourself rather than two of you trying to be in there at the same time. it wasn’t anything personal; you were both independent people who valued their alone time. and when he saw you around the apartment, he never failed to talk to you, even if it was just a small nod of acknowledgment. you always had a calm and collected kind of demeanor, which he reasoned he liked because it was similar to him, in contrast to the men who had too much energy for their own good that he was surrounded by every day.

your similar attitudes had also led to a lot of shared nights together. sometimes on the nights when you stayed a little bit later at work or school, he would come home and you’d still be eating at the counter, zoned out on your phone, not even noticing him until he placed his bag on the table.

“oh, sorry, omi. welcome back, i can leave–”

“no, you’re fine. stay there,” he’d cut you off.

he’d navigate around the kitchen, gathering what he needed while you continued eating your own meal. sometimes things were peacefully silent between you both as you resumed scrolling on your phone; you were just two roommates in their kitchen, illuminated by the warm light of a hanging lamp overhead. other times you asked him how his day was, and you would both chat while he made his own dinner, and if his day was bad, sometimes you invited him to watch a movie with you.

that was something that had confused him. he always was preparing himself to say no, that he was tired, or that he just wanted to be in bed in an hour, but instead he often found himself agreeing to the proposal. he realized after a bit of thought that it was because he liked being around you. he was willing to amend his routines to include you in them.

a friend had once warned him that he could never really know someone until he lived with them. and he had found that with you, he only liked you more once he started rooming with you. he liked how responsible and respectful you were with everything you did, aware of your surroundings and the space you shared with him. he found that he looked forward to seeing you every day, and when your door was shut, sometimes he felt conflicted. like he wanted to see you, but he didn't have the right to invade your space so instead, he was stuck alone in his own room, with you across the hall.

the only problem between you both (although he hated to call it that) was how late you stayed up. but even then, you tried to be careful about how loud you were, stepping quietly over the aged floorboards and using minimal lighting to navigate your way through the apartment. 

he wasn’t going to call you out for it. it was only a mild inconvenience, and he knew you couldn’t really help it. you had warned him before you moved in that sometimes you got restless at night, unable to sleep no matter how badly you wanted to.

he didn’t mind, he told you, and you had signed the lease. and truthfully, he didn't. but recently, your sleepless nights had become more frequent. for him, he rarely struggled with the problem. he could easily pass out on his bed at any time of the day. but sometimes he would wake up to your footsteps through the thin walls.

part of him worried for you, thinking to himself that this was what, the eighth day in a row he had woken up to you wandering around? while another part of him (a very cranky one) really wanted you to go to bed (for your sake and his own).

he stepped out of his room, blinking rapidly as he tried to adjust to the lighting of the living room lamp that was on. it wasn’t as bright as if you had turned on the overhead lights, but he’d just come from his pitch-black room.

you were curled up on the couch, knees pulled to your chest and biting the side of your thumb, still unable to get rid of how antsy you felt despite getting up from your bed. you looked up at him as he stepped into the room, the light of the screen reflecting against the side of your face, “oh god, omi. i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to wake you.”

the moment he sees the bags under your own eyes, any hint of irritation he felt about being woken up immediately fades. “it’s fine,” he says, coming to sit with you on the edge of the couch, “can you not sleep?”

you exhale a long breath through your nose at the question, “no. it’s been bad lately. i can’t fall asleep or i wake up a few hours later just feeling even more tired.”

“so you’re watching tv?” he says, raising his brows and looking at you. you purse your lips, pouting under his gaze, fidgeting with the sleeve of your shirt.

you give him a small nod, “yeah. i mean, i’m really tired but i can’t sleep so i came out here to watch something.”

“well screens aren’t going to help you fall asleep,” he chides and you sigh.

“i knew you were going to say that. but what else am i supposed to do?” you complain.

“have you tried stretching?” he suggests.

you look at him, brows raised in confusion, “no, why would i do that?”

he rolls his eyes at your sass but it can’t be helped. he really only knows about the benefits of stretching because they’ve been ingrained into his mind from years of volleyball, “it helps relax your body, especially when you're stiff or sore so that you can go to bed. it’s what i do when i can’t sleep.”

“oh,” you reply, playing with a stray string coming out of the couch.

it’s silent for a moment. “are you not gonna do it? are we just gonna sit here in silence?”

you look up at him in embarrassment, “well, i don’t know what stretches to do! you don’t have to stay up with me, omi. you can go back to sleep. i don’t want you to be tired tomorrow.”

he sighs, laying back and sinking into the couch, “i’m not sleeping until you do.”

“well then tell me what i should do,” you say, extending your legs in front of you, placing them firmly onto the ground so you’re sitting up.

he stands and your eyes follow him curiously, unsure of where he’s going. eventually, he’s standing behind you at the back of the couch, and turns your head forward so that you’re looking directly at the wall in front of you. “what are you doing?” you ask, body going rigid.

“i’m just guiding you through some of these stretches, relax,” he answers and feels you calm down, letting him push your head gently towards one shoulder. his hand is on your opposite shoulder, keeping it straight while you feel a stretch in your neck.

“thanks,” you mumble as he repeats the movement for the other side of your neck. he gives you a small “mhm” in response, focused on making sure you’re feeling the stretch without hurting you.

he ends up leading you to the ground, modeling the stretches for you so that you can follow along. he guides you to lay on your side, with one arm extended out in front of you while the other is behind you, and you face each other as you both lay there, arms mimicking a T.

you giggle, unable to control yourself as you stare into his eyes. “what’s so funny?” he chuckles, smiling at the sound of your laughter.

“i just feel so stupid right now,” you answer, shifting slightly in your position. “but this is helping a bit, i think. i’m feeling a little better.”

he hums in acknowledgment of your words, his smile staying on his face before you switch to the other side.

“what’s next?” you ask, sitting up.

“do you know what the cat-cow is?” he asks, brushing off his arms from where they touched the ground. when you look at him, mouth agape, he gives you a defensive look back, unsure of what caused your reaction. “what?” he says, tilting his head slightly.

“omi, i’m not getting on my hands and knees,” you say, embarrassed that you even have to explain yourself, but you’d rather say it than humiliate yourself further on all fours.

“oh my god,” he rolls his eyes, putting a palm to his face, “you’re turning this into something it’s not. i’m not gonna look at you or anything. i’ll even turn away, okay? just do it, it’s good for you. i’m tired of hearing you complain about your back.”

you sigh dejectedly but comply, moving into the position. you can’t deny that you feel less stiff, but you also can’t help but overthink the entire situation. if anyone had told you a year ago that the man you had been crushing on for years was going to ask you to move in with him and months later he’d be on the floor stretching with you because he really wants you to be able to sleep, you would’ve laughed in their face.

but this was reality, and this felt like an intimate moment between you both. you were unsure of what to make of the situation; it had come as a big enough shock that he cared enough about your sleep. but you also shouldn’t have been that surprised. 'he’s just being a good friend,' you try to reason. he asked you to move in because no one in their right mind would want to live under the same roof as atsumu, and you both value a clean, organized house.

but where were you supposed to draw the line between friends and something more?

his careful attentiveness towards you had started to make you think that maybe he saw you as more of a friend as well. you never imagined that he would ever want you to stay in the kitchen with him while he was cooking when it had been a bad day, and you were even more surprised the first time he agreed to watch a movie with you. you considered yourselves good friends but you didn’t expect him to actually want to spend so much time with you on top of everything else he had going on. he never seemed to tire of seeing you around the house; instead, he always made sure to say hi or ask how your day had been.

you wanted to bring it up to him soon, you really did. the feeling was starting to eat away at you, and this night together wasn’t helping in the slightest.

after a few more stretches, you stood up, reaching your arms above you as you yawned. “think you’ll be able to sleep now?” he asks, following you up and dusting off his clothes.

the thought of going back to your stuffy room makes you drop your arms and the content look on your face fades away. you felt tired, but something about your room just felt so unwelcoming. you didn’t want to walk back in there, where the air would feel heavy, your mattress would be too stiff, your pillow too soft, and blanket too scratchy. there was always something that bothered you about your bed every night, and being alone with your thoughts again would prevent you from falling asleep. you’d be stuck tossing and turning in your bed on a bed that never felt clean or comfortable, you could already feel it. 

“what’s wrong?” he steps into your line of sight. you look up at him as a thought crosses your mind, making you immediately look back down at the ground, face turning red.

“um–” you start, and then immediately close your mouth. it was a stupid thought.

but what’s the worst he could do? say no? give you a disgusted look? kick you out into the cold after spending half an hour stretching with you? that last one was a little extreme, but maybe you’d say it and he’d laugh in your face. or gag (being dramatic, again). either way, whatever he said, if it wasn’t a yes, your life would be forever ruined.

“y/n,” he says, and you look back up at him, feeling like you’re about to collapse under the weight of his gaze. but your mouth opens, unable to keep it in.

“i just–” you have to stop to take in a deep breath, the words getting caught in your throat. he keeps looking at you the entire time, waiting to listen to what you have to say. “i don’t want to go back to my own bed,” you blurt, finally spitting it out. “it just doesn’t feel right. i don’t know how to explain it, but i know i won’t be able to sleep alone in my own bed. i’m sorry,” you add an apology on at the end, feeling embarrassed by your own confession.

when he doesn’t respond, you feel even worse. “nevermind, forget i said anything, i’m so sorry. thank you for helping me stretch, i’m going to go to bed now–” you spin on your heel, moving to run away as calmly as you can manage when he catches your wrist. you let out a small exclaim of surprise at the touch as he turns you back around.

“don’t apologize. and don’t lie to me. i want you to sleep,” he says, looking away as he runs a hand through his hair, preparing to say his next few words. “would it–” he shuts his mouth, feeling the anxiety settle in his chest, “would it help to sleep with me?”

neither of you are looking at each other. he’s staring at the wall and you’re looking at the floor, face hot and burning. “if you don’t mind, i think it would,” you whisper, just loud enough for him to hear and look back at you, letting out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding in.

he’s still holding your wrist, too, he realizes, but he doesn’t let go. he runs a thumb along the side of your arm, grabbing your attention again. he’s looking you in the eyes, and he wants to tell you that he’s not uncomfortable with sleeping in the same bed as you. in fact, it’s quite the opposite, but he’s not sure what you’ll say back, so he settles for a neutral response, instead, “yeah. of course i’m fine with it.”

maybe in the morning, when he wakes up next to you, finds your limbs entangled with his under his sheets, and sees the sunlight peeking through the curtains and onto your skin, he’ll be able to choke out a three-word confession. but for now, he only leads you silently to his room, letting you slip under the covers first before he follows after, holding you close.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

a mini ficlette to say sorry for not uploading as much recently that ended up not at all being mini and being almost 1k words but im posting anyways bc i will get more consistent i swear

also posting on mobile (so the formatting is probably shit) so not doing taglist bc idk how to do that lol. will properly fix everything up when i get home have my precious laptop

enough blabbering, here is the ficlette!

“sarah!” you whisper again, but your friend doesn't budge. you sigh and climb out of bed, glad that its a california king, big enough for both of you to share comfortably, and for your thrashing not to wake her up.

you warned sarah that you were prone to nightmares and didn't mind sleeping on the floor or in one of the guest bedrooms, but sarah insisted it was fine to share as she's a deep sleeper. you look back at her as you slip out of the room, realizing just how true that is.

you walk down the stairs quietly, glad that the stairs don't creak too loudly. when you reach the first floor, you pause to make sure you didn't wake anyone up before wandering through the house. aimless pacing is your best solution to getting over a nightmare, moving your body to tire it out and easing your mind at the same time.

you hum softly to yourself, a comforting tune your mother used to sing to you when you were a child. you don't know the name of it, but the melody is cemented in your memory.

you admire the art on the wall, your eyes having adjusted to the moonlight shining through the windows enough to make it out. you see a movement out of the corner of your eye and gasp, turning when the noise reaches you of the front door closing.

“what are you doing awake?” rafe asks, his voice low as he sneaks back into the house. what you didn't know is that he stayed out late just to avoid you, not wanting to get involved with his sisters friend but unable to control his emotions when around you.

“i-i had a nightmare.” you explain, eyebrows knitting together as you wait to hear the judgement coming from rafe. a scoffing laugh at still getting nightmares, maybe him calling you immature, a child, but it doesn't come. in fact, his face softens.

“im sorry.” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, briefly pushing it off his forehead before it falls immediately back into place. “what usually helps?”

“walking around.” you wave your hand in the air, indicating that you just wander.

“can i join you then?” rafe offers, and you give a small nod. “yeah. yeah, totally.” you smile as rafe comes to your side, joining each other in slowly walking around the first floor of the house. you're silent for a couple minutes before you start to hum again, not missing the smile that graces rafes face when your tune begins.

your music is interrupted by yawns, until you're doing more yawning than whistling. 

“come on, let's get you to bed.” rafe says when you pass in front of the stairs, a firm hand on your back. you nod, letting him partially support your weight as you walk up the stairs.

“thanks, rafe.” you say softly when you reach his door.

“will you be okay?” he asks, a hand smoothing over your hair, his fingers twirling the end before dropping it. “i mean, with your nightmare.”

“i-i probably will be.” you say honestly. usually once you have a nightmare that wakes you, you don't have another when you manage to get back to sleep.

“you can-” rafe clears his throat, his eyes darting around your face. “you can sleep in my bed. if you want… with me.” rafe clarifies after a moment when you just silently stare at him.

“like… cuddle?” you question, wanting to make sure his intentions are very clear.

“yeah. cuddle. i can hold you so you don't have any more nightmares.”

“yes. yeah” you nod, “id really like that, rafe.”

“okay.” rafe smiles, opening his door and letting you walk in first.

you don't spend time looking around the room, heading right for the bed hoping that rafe doesn't see your shaking hands. 

rafe moves with you, pulling back the covers so you can climb in, and you let out a soft sigh when your head rests against the pillows. you lay still as rafe adjusts next to you, pulling the covers over both your bodies.

you're silent for a moment, before rafe turns and looks at you in the low light, “gonna come closer?”

you let out a soft giggle, sliding to meet rafe in the middle of the bed. his arms wrap around you, your head coming to lay on his chest, feeling natural and right as you lay a leg over his, your bodies fitting together as if they were meant to be.

“if a nightmare wakes you up and for some reason it doesn't wake me up, just shake me awake.”

“okay… thank you rafe.” you say, laying a hand over his chest. 

rafe presses a kiss to the top of your head, his hand coming to cautiously rest on your lower back, and when you let out a hum of approval, he begins to rub over your pajama shirt.

“what do you think sarah is going to say when she wakes up and im not there?”

“don't worry about sarah. don't worry about anything right now, y/n. let's just get some sleep and we can worry about things in the morning.”

“okay.” you nod, picking your head up to look at rafe, his skin reflecting blue from the moonlight. you lean forward and press a light kiss to his jaw, and then another stronger, more meaningful kiss to his cheek. you move for his mouth but pause before you fully make contact.

“in the morning.” you whisper, not wanting to make a serious move on a sleep deprived brain, and rafe nods, eyelashes fluttering.

“in the morning.”

[slothgiirl]

in the air (xiao x reader)

7.3k words. mentions of rock climbing and chinese traditional medicine. pining. fluff. first time writing in genshin impact for xiao so idk how in character this is. probs errors bc this is unedited like my lyfe lol. also xiao takes 1k words to show up hehe

“Delivery for Bubu Pharmacy,” you dump all your packages on the counter, finally able to see in front of you once again. The walk from Qingce Village to Liyue Harbor was long, made longer by the various dried herbs and distilled oils you had to carry.

“Ah, our lovely botanist,” Herbalist Gui grabs a letter opener, already sorting through the parcels. Silk flowers, glaze lilies, fresh lotus root, ginseng root, and the rest of the raw ingredients a pharmacy needed. “No violetgrass? Or qingxin flowers?”

You slip behind the counter, taking a seat on the stool Qiqi used to reach. You’d need the stool too in order to get the very top shelf ingredients. Maybe you weren’t a pharmacists, you think as you read the labels for ingredients as rare as sakura blooms imported from abroad to condensed ginger, but you could probably fix a cold.

Botany wasn’t your dream growing up, but your family’s business. The house you’d grown up in was tiny compared to the greenhouse full of silk flowers, to the pear trees and lotus growing in flooded terraces. You liked the job. You liked getting to see all of Liyue. You loved the smell of drying cinnamon and seeing a plant perk up once you gave it some compost.

“Not yet,” you admit, “with the rains last week I couldn’t exactly get to Huaguang Stone Forest.” Your favorite part of this job was getting to climb up the towering peaks. You loved rock climbing. You loved the cool wind on your skin after ascending, looking down and knowing you’d done this. You loved the solitude, the quiet and peace. You fell in love with the alien perspective of being up so high.

“Be careful out there,” Herbalist Gui says, a crease forming between his brows, “isn’t full of hilichurls and demons?”

“I am careful,” you massage your calves, “pretty sure a lawachurl could break me in half.” It ate at your time, having to go around treasure hoarders and hilichurls, unsure if they’d let you pass freely or not. There was no way you’d risk a run-in with fatui skirmishers that far from the Millelith’s sight.

So you hid behind bushes and trees, going around and losing hours.

“And the demons? You ever actually seen one?”

You laugh. “No, thank the Archons.” You didn’t want to test how effective exorcist charms were against demons. Chongyun had carved one out of wood for you to keep you from being possessed, while Hu Tao’s last present had been a jade sigil to tells ghosts you were a friend. You were concerned about its effects but Hu Tao always had good intentions despite her questionable methods.

You trusted her.

And there was no way you were going to disparage one of your childhood friends to her face. Some people had no tack.

You couldn’t imagine calling someone a weirdo even if it was true. Especially in a mean spirited way.

“That’s good.”

“Tell Baizhu I’ll be back in two days ,” you tell the pharmacist.

“That fast?”

You smile, “yeah. I’ll come back here then head home.” It’d mean only having one day to lazy about at home before hitting the road again, but like Hu Tao you valued the reputation of your business too much to delay the order of violetgrass and qingxi flowers to next week.

“Okay, I’ll be sure to let Baizhu know.”

“You’re the best.”

“Do you want some tea before you go,” Herbalist Bui asks, “it’s got jueyun chilis, good for all that running around you do.”

“Of course you don’t have regular jasmine tea?” This was a pharmacy. You accept it all the same, grateful for the warmth of the tea quenching your thirst. Maybe you wouldn’t be dead on your feet when you ascend tomorrow.

___

You camp at the south of Caijue Slope.

Travelling at night wasn’t a bright idea if you didn’t have a vision. Something you most definitely didn’t.

You’d always dreamed of a geo vision, though without Rex Lapis who knows if there would be any new geo visions. When you’d started bouldering around Mingyun Village, learning to identify fungi and flowers with your father, you could only ever imagine a geo vision.

It would be mad useful.

You wouldn’t need to carry ropes and anchors if you could just form your own anchors and climbing forms out of the very rock you ascended.

Passing through Jueyun Karst let you know waiting had been the right choice.

The mud clumps to the soles of your boots. When you step on the road, your feet sink. There’s little to no treasure hoarders or fatui to be seen. It must’ve been awful the day after the rains and near impassable with the rain. The towering mountains made the roads down below prone to flash flooding.

You have to stop and scrape the mud off your boots on rocks every few steps until finally you start the road up to Qingyun Peak. You barely even need to check your worn map.

Your family has been in the botany business for generations. You know where the clusters of Violetgrass and Qingxin spring up. Between here and Mingyun Village, you gather enough of both to fulfil Verr Goldet and Baizhu’s orders.

It takes the entire morning to ascend up the northernmost pillar of Huaguang Stone Forest, sitting on the edge as you Mint Salad and mora meat. It’s not as good when the food’s cold, but there’s nothing better than the food you eat after a long climb. Sweat runs down your spine as you look over Liyue. You can make out the Jade Chamber in the sky over Liyue Harbor. This must be what the adepti, what Rex Lapis, saw every day.

After Bubu Pharmacy you’d deliver to Wangshu Inn, then home. Then you’d collapse in bed before starting all over again.

You run your fingers over the petals of the qingxin flower. This one could stay. It was too small, the majority of the buds still closed.

The zenith of the sun has passed when you finally start to descend.

You hook your safety rope into the anchors you’d placed on the way up.

One of these days you’d buy yourself a Monstadt glider.

As you go, you remove the anchors, releasing the expansion clamps and slipping it into your bag, before descending the next metre.

You hook your safety rope into the next anchor. Then descend another metre. Carefully. Taking your time.

Pebbles fall past you.

It feels like the entire world rumbles.

You look out into the landscape, into the fog you can barely make out the other stone pillars, but even the fog cannot obscure the flashes of green anemo bursts in the skies.

Shit.

You glance up. It was a good twenty metres to the peak. You look down. It wasn’t any better.

It was worse.

A good thousand metres up. 800 from where you’d started climbing from the top of the road.

The flashes of anemo grew closer.

More pebbles fell, clinking against your shoulder. Dirt dislodged and fell in your hair.

You were stuck.

Your hands grew sweaty.

If it had been raining you could make it up free handed. Waited it out. Rain usually built up. This stone forest had no ledges to seek shelter on.

Fuck.

Flashes of green interspersed with flashes of red and blue.

Dread.

You look around, trying to find anything to perch on.

Okay, okay. Let yourself fall onto the ledge 30 metres below. No-

Not survivable.

Your hands grow slick with sweat as figures emerge out of the fog.

Dark figures. Demons. Monsters.

Your grip slips.

You flail, trying to catch yourself.

Fuck.

You slam into the side of the cliff, dangling by your safety rope over a thousand metres in the air. Pain explodes across your thigh.

Your fingers are bleeding where you’d tried to grab a rock.

The figures are closer now. Across from you fighting in the air, floating. Abyss mages and a fighter. You couldn’t tell.

And you couldn’t waste time watching.

You clip into the next anchor, attaching your safety rope. There was no time to climb up for the other rope and anchor.

You cut your loses.

Okay, move.

You scramble down, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire.

There’s an extra safety rope in your bag, you climb another metre down. And another one.

The sound of fighting is still too close, approaching, you hear the laughter of the abyss mages, the clash of steel against abyssal magic. You don’t look, chest heaving as you try to climb down in minutes what would normally take hours.

You inhale sharply, the dirt from the rocks mixing with the blood on your fingers. You slice your fingers on the ledges but keep going.

It doesn’t matter.

You have to keep going.

And then nothing matters.

Ice explodes against your back.

A chill spreads from the spot, your muscles tense and freeze and you can’t move. You can’t move your fingers. You can’t-

You look up.

The abyss mage is looking at you, laughing behind it’s terrible mask, a mockery of Opera makeup, as you fall.

It’s why the spear that jut out of it’s chest catches it off guard.

But what does that matter?

You’re falling, falling…

The figures disappear from your vision.

���-

You scream.

You’re so cold.

You can’t even flail as you plunge to your death.

You’ve never been so cold.

The fog dissipates as you approach the ground.

Your vision explodes in emerald and black. “Hgh,” a hand grips your wrist.

Thunk.

You smash onto the ground.

Only you’re still alive.

“Hold still,” a gruff voice says near your ear.

What!

You kick, blinking the tears, blinking away the terror from your eyes, “let me go!” You were alive. YOU WERE ALIVE!

And tangled on the ground with a strange masked man.

Vexation is clear in his tone as he repeats, “hold still.”

You roll off him, wincing. Everything hurt. You side ached. Nothing was broken. You could tell you’d be bruised black and blue for the next week. “Thank you,” you huff, connecting the dots even as your vision grew white with pain. Your fingers were still cramped from the cold. You could use jueyun chilis right now.

Thank the Archons you still had your bag. Crushed flowers were better than no flowers.

“Mortals should not be in Jueyun Karst.” The man still wears a mask carved of blackened wood. It matches the black of his gloves. A vision is strapped to his wrist.

Not a man at all.

You breathe, forcing down the pain.

You couldn’t do anything about it until you were safe. Not out here. Not out in the open.

You look around.

You weren’t in Jueyun Karst anymore. This was the road east to Guili Plains.

“I have permission,” you tell the adepti, “I can show you the sigil of permission.”

He says nothing, crouching in front of you like an overgrown bird. The mask is still on.

Despite that you’re not scared.

The sigil feels strange. It feels akin to resting your back against the statues of Morax.

“See,” you tell him. You weren’t lying. It was the same sigil your family had used for generations. Your grandmother said Moon Carver had gifted it when the Qixing closed passage into Jueyun Karst. “Master Adepti? Sir?…” You weren’t sure of the proper way of addressing an Adepti.

His eyes travel from your sigil to you. There’s mirth in his cor lapis eyes.

The mask.

The fighting.

He wasn’t just any adepti.

You lean forward, “you’re the vigilant yaksha,” you raise your hand, forgetting yourself for a moment as you move to touch his mask only that might get you struck down for disrespecting an adepti’s pride. All the adepti had strange rules about what was permissible. “I don’t know about you adepti, but it’s kinda rude for you to keep your mask on for so long.” It felt like he had something to hide.

“You presume to order an adepti?”

You crack a grin, “I couldn’t make you do anything.” You shift, trying to get up. You need to get to Wangshu Inn before night.

“Fuck,” you hiss. Right. You were all banged up.

The yaksha moves swiftly, steadying her. “You’re hurt.”

“I am,” you wince. “Just bruises.”

“Why were you in Jueyun Karst.” His tone drips with disapproval.

“For qingxi flowers. Violetgrass. Pharmacists need it.” You laugh. “Ironic right?”

He’s still holding you up, his hands on your arms, gentle despite the destruction he just caused in the stone forest. You want to see his face. You want to thank him without any barriers.

He must be handsome, you think to yourself. You know he is.

“Can you not grow them in Liyue Harbor?”

You shake your head, “they only grow at high altitudes. They prefer rocks to soil. I think there’s something in the rocks, some mineral. We’ve tried to grow them in Qingce Village but they didn’t take.”

His eyes study you once more, “your hands are bleeding.”

“It’ll be fine,” you tell him, “some balm. Baizhu deals with worse all the time.” At least the cold wore off.

“Where should I leave you?”

The words are unexpected. He’d saved you, but he wasn’t exactly friendly and warm. The Yaksha was quiet and reserved.

He’d stayed to make sure you were okay.

“Liyue Harbor,” you say tentatively, “though if that’s too far…”

“Heh,” the Yaksha rolls his eyes, scoffing.

“If it’s out of your way,” you amend, smiling, “I’m sure that it’s an easy distance for the Vigilant Yaksha to cover.”

He tilts his head.

You wonder what he thinks of you.

“I’m only joking,” you add when the silence streches out in case he missed your teasing. “But Liyue Harbor would be great if it’s not a bother.”

The Yaksha nods. “I offered.”

“You did.” He didn’t have to.

You try not to read into it too much. The adepti were all about protecting Liyue. You weren’t special.

Quite the opposite.

You’d been in Huaguang Stone Forest at the wrong time.

He finally lets go of your arms, only to pick you up bridal style.

“Ah!” You’re caught off guard, barely processing what is happening before the world disappears in black smoke.

You squeeze your eyes shut, as wind streaks through your hair, chilling your skin all over again.

In seconds, he’s already placing you back down, overlooking the Harbor.

“Wow, that was amazing!” What took you two days to travel, the Yaksha had done in seconds. You look over the Harbor, it’s lights slowly turning on as the sun sets over the water. It was a short walk to the Pharmacy. You’d be imposing on Hu Tao tonight.

She’d probably love the impromptu sleepover.

“Thanks again-,” you turn back to thank the Yaksha once more.

But you’re alone.

—-

“Jueyn chilis, qingxi flowers, and a boatload of mint and ginger,” you list off to Verr Goldet. “Hey, do you sell incense sticks?”

Verr’s eyes widened, “what happened to you my dear?”

Your hands were still all bandaged up, but as you suspected, it was pretty much all bruising. Still, you’d be sticking to Mingyun Village and Wuwang Hill until you were given the all clear by Baizhu. It was good to let the usual spots grow wild in the meantime.

You didn’t want to overpick any one spot.

“Nasty fall,” you also didn’t want to worry the Innkeeper unnecessarily. “I’m mostly bummed out. I have to go back for most of my anchors.” Stupid abyss mage.

“Well,” Verr Goldet hands you an incense stick, “this one’s on the house. Since you’re always on time. I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Are you sure,” you ask, already reaching for your mora bag.

“Listen to your elders and take the incense stick.”

“Thank you.” You bow respectfully to the woman, “this is so kind of you.”

“I know you would show me the same kindness.” She bows back. “Make sure you rest and rest before heading off.”

“Of course,” you grin, “you’re the only place that sells mushroom pizza in Liyue.” You could get honey roast and radish veggie soup at a street vendor in the Harbor but not pizza.

—

With your own mora you purchase healing balm. The Yaksha would appreciate this. You think. It made sense. He probably fought demons and monsters all the time.

He could use this when he got hurt.

You think.

You don’t know much about adepti.

“I think that’s a marvellous idea!” Hu Tao practically dances in delight when you tell her your plan.

“As a thanks,” you further explain. “It doesn’t feel right to just pray at a shrine.” You don’t even know his name.

“Ah,” she twirls in the street, running into a merchant

“Hey! Watch where you’re going weirdo!”

Hu Tao pays him no mind. “Obviously my charm worked.”

“What? No it didn’t,” you frown. The spirits had not been the problem. The abyss mages had nearly killed you.

But your friend is too busy with ideas to pay you any mind, “perhaps you need a noctilucous jade sigil to repel evil spirits?”

“That was an option,” you raise a brow. That seemed more useful.

“Most spirits aren’t bad silly,” she tells you, “very few become demons.”

“Can it at least be Cor Lapis,” you think about the Yaksha’s eyes again. You’d thought about the Yaksha a lot.

“No. That wouldn’t work for the carving. Hey, let’s get a drink before you go!”

—

You sit at the shrine in Mingyun Village. And it really was a village. Just two stores and a few houses. Most of the people here were fishermen, but you knew some lived off the shells and pearls that could be gathered on Yaoguang Shore.

The largest was inscribed to Rex Lapis. There were steles for Moon Carver, Mountain Shaper and the other adepti of legends. And a small one for the Yakshas, but there were no names for them.

You frown.

You set the jar of balm in front of you. Then you light the incense stick, unsure of what the proper prayers for a Yaksha were.

“Oh mighty vigilant Yaksha,” you cringe, closing your eyes, “scratch that. Um,” could adepti even hear your prayers? Could Rex Lapis answer prayers from the heavens? “Thanks again for saving me. Sorry if I got in the way or anything. I’m glad you keep those monsters aways from the Harbor and villages. And thank you for dropping me off in Liyue Harbor. That was incredibly kind of you. This balm is for you.”

There. That didn’t sound half bad.

Maybe you could still be a ritualist.

Change careers last minute.

You hear a snort.

You open your eyes.

In your peripheral, the Yaksha stands facing the shrines. His mask rests on his belt.

You were right, he is handsome.

Teal streaks through his dark hair. There’s a violet mark on his forehead and he’s handsome. His expression is inscrutable though his eyes remain kind despite what his demeanour would suggest.

He sits down next to you, watching the incense stick burn. The smoke wisps off in spirals.

“Thank you.”

“I heard.” His voice is not unkind.

You nod, “all the same.”

You breathe the rich aroma of the incense.

“You should always burn 3 sticks, or 5.”

“Sorry?” He doesn’t seem angry or upset. But you still feel the need to apologise. He was an adepti after all. The Yaksha did so much for Liyue already.

His eyes fall close. The last vestiges of wariness dissipate. “I do not need the balm.”

“Oh.” Your face falls. Stupid. You’d done nothing right. It would have been better to just leave things be.

You watch the smoke, biting your lip. He’d come all this way and you’d done everything wrong. You were embarrassed.

He probably had better things to do.

The Yaksha opens his eyes, turning towards you. He frowns.

He had such lovely eyes: black tea steeped perfectly. There was a warmth in them that had you dismissing all your negative thoughts. He wasn’t irritated with you at all. He’d chosen to come all this way for you even when you had things all wrong.

The Yaksha was strange, but kind.

Even as he held your gaze for an inhumane amount of time, unblinking, you felt comfortable the way you might with Chongyun.

You were right. He was handsome. The stories never mentioned that.

He parts his lips, brows furrowed, before looking away. He fixes his gaze on the steles again.

“Well, is there anything that you might like as thanks,” you finally settle on uttering, looking very pointedly at the bas relief of Morax. Heat rises to your cheeks. It was so silly. This was such a normal thing to do, thank someone and yet you grew flustered.

“Ah?” The Yaksha’s cheeks grow pink. “There is no need-I do not act in exchange for material gain.”

“I just want to thank you. If not for saving me then for taking me to the Harbor.” You bite your lip. “You can think of it as friends exchanging gifts.”

It’s the wrong thing to say.

The Yaksha stands suddenly, a swirl of anemo blowing your hair about. “I have duties to attend to.” And he’s gone.

Clearly, you and Hu Tao both failed at making friends.

—

A month passes, and you’ve made every effort to take your mind off the Yaksha. He was an adeptus. Two times you’d met him. That was more than most people ever interacted with adepti.

You weren’t part of the Qixing.

You were a simple botanist running around liyue.

You run your fingers over the new jade amulet from Hu Tao. You’d be okay.

Last time was a freak accident.

In two decades of life, last time had been the sole time you’d seen an abyss mage. Nothing would happen this time. You’d collect the herbs in Jueyun Karst as usual and be on your merry way.

Ascending is made easy by the anchors you left behind. You’re the one who takes baby steps, pausing with every push up to look around in case there’s some hilicurls aiming for you. You close your eyes, leaning your forehead against the rock. It was fine. You were fine.

Your hands had scarred over.

You refused to be afraid of going out in Liyue for the rest of your life.

You push onwards.

You check your safety line. You check each anchor.

You look around.

So far so good.

It’s only when you break past the fog that you realise how uneventful the entire ascension has been. You’re worried sick about nothing.

You pull yourself onto the cliff top and collapse on your back, panting.

You laugh, at yourself, at the situation. At being so high up. You close your eyes and soak in the warmth of the sun, the heat of your body against the cool stone. Had Rex Lapis created this stone forest too? You’d have to ask Baizhu. He knew all the stories since he told them to Qiqi endlessly, not that the little girl ever remembered.

She’s been a child for as long as you could remember.

Lunch is cold jade parcels and leftover fried radish balls which are never as good cold. Nothing fried was ever as good cold.

You pluck the qingxi flowers first, bunching them up in your bag. The violetgrass was easier since you collected those on your way up.

You take another drink of water from your flask, looking over the landscape. Jueyun Karst was so beautiful. You forgot how dangerous the area was.

The plan was to head north and swim across the waters to Qingce Village, swim home. You’d have to camp out on the isles, but it was safer than staying in the stone forest overnight or trying to swim in the frigid night.

You take a nap, waiting for midday to pass before you start your descent.

You pull the last anchor free when a voice startles you.

“What are you doing here?”

“Ah,�� you weld the anchor like a knife in the air before you recognize the Yaksha’s distinctive purple pants and green tattoo. “Fuck,” you place a hnd on your chest, “you scared me.”

“I did not mean-,” he frowns, “why are you here?”

You point up, “have a job to do. Qingxi, violetgrass. I’m just happy everything else can be cultivated.”

The Yaksha’s frown deepens.

“I have a job to do. It has its risks but medicine must be supplied.”

He nods, but remains sullen.

“Anyways I’m all done here.” You wipe your hands on your robes, “and relax. I waited until I was done healing, see,” you hold up your palms. With coconut oil the scarring would fade.

The Yaksha steps close to you, taking your hands in his and looking them over. He runs a finger over your darkest scar. There were specks of gold in his eyes. The mark on his forehead glowed.

He looked up through long teal lashes at you when he was done accessing your hands.

Your mouth is dry. It’s hard to meet his heavy gaze. It feels like falling all over again.

There’s no way he misses the flush on your cheeks that has nothing to do with climbing and everything to do with the way his touch renders you breathless.

“I will escort you through Jueyun Karst.”

“Oh,” your eyes widened in surprise. “You don’t have to,” you brush your hair behind your ears. No matter what you did climbing made your hair a rat’s nest. “I’m sure your very busy with your adeptus duties.”

“Tt.” He releases your hands. “It is not up for discussion.”

“Vigilant Yaksha,” you have to insist, “I have an amulet to keep the monsters away. And I’ll just be back next week…I don’t want to be a bother. Really. I’ll be okay.”

He tilts his head, “what amulet?”

You lift the necklace up, “it’s from my friend. She knows more about ghosts but I-”

The Yaksha closes the distance between you. He scrutinises the sigil, his breath ghosting over your cheek. “There is a limit to the accumulation of evil spirits and demons an amulet can repel.”

“But it does work?”

He nods.

You can’t stand being this close to him while he is seemingly unaffected. Your heart is lodged in your throat but his expression remains as guarded as ever.

It was silly to even think about an adeptus like this.

A smaller, crazier voice that sounded a lot like Hu Tao points out that half adepti like Ganyu exist for a reason.

You avert your gaze, stepping back. “So you see, you don’t have to-”

He cuts you off. “It is not up for discussion.”

You nod, accepting he would do why he thought was right even if it did make you feel like you were bothering him. (He wasn’t even angry or bothered.)

The Yaksha was kind in his stilted way.

“I’m headed north to Qingce Village.” You pocket the last anchor and drink more water before embarking on the road home.

“Xiao.”

“Hm?”

“My name is Xiao.”

—

You fall into a pattern. Buy 3 incense sticks from Verr Goldet, burn them for the Yakshas. Deliver to Wangshu Inn and Bubu Pharmacy once a week. Collect Herbs from Mingyun Village and Jueyen Karst once a week. See Xiao in Jueyun Karst.

A rough pattern because Xiao came and went without notice. Sometimes he’d be waiting for you at Cuijue Slope until he began to climb up a mountain. At times he wouldn’t appear until you’d finished descending.

You made the lion’s share of conversation, complaining that Chongyun was in Mondstat to deal with some apparition and therefore was getting to eat all the tea pancakes in the world. You told Xiao about flu season and how much ginger Baizhu went through. You complained about having to dilute soap in water to keep pests away from your family’s crops.

“-I’ll need new boots when the caravan from Sumeru stops by,” you take a break on a rock to catch your breath. You’d never seen Xiao tire.

The soles of your boots were worn down. You could feel the rocks poke at your heels through the leather.

You let the silence reign in the picturesque valley.

Xiao doesn’t sit, but he closes his eyes as the sun chases away the clouds. You soaked up the warmth. The sun’s rays made the chilly breeze bearable.

He leans his head back, basking in the sun like a lizard.

You wonder what his animal form looks like. You’d only seen Rex Lapis on the Rite of Descension. But everyone knew Mountain Carver was a magnificent stag.

With his eyes closed, you find yourself staring at his visage shamelessly. He was striking, the graphic cut of his hair only accentuating his bone structure.

You wanted him to hold you again. You wanted him to run his hands over yours, to-

You quash the thoughts down.

Xiao opens his eyes, polearm already in hand as he spots something in the distance. “Wait here.”

You nod, used to this by now.

It was never a long wait, but Xiao would step away for minutes to deal with threats to Liyue.

You are glad to rest for a while longer.

—

“Why don’t you just tell him,” Chongyun splits a milk tea shaved ice with you, “how you feel,” he scoops up a brown sugar boba with his spoonful of shaved ice.

“Are you crazy? What if I make things awkward? Then he’ll never speak to me again! That would be so much worse.” You didn’t want to lose Xiao’s friendship.

You eat another spoonful of shaved ice, making sure to get some of the mochi, managing to look incredibly dejected while eating dessert.

Chongyun sighs. “You can’t complain and not do anything about it.”

You stick your tongue out at him. “I’m not taking advice from someone who can’t even order.”

“So? I’m proactive about it,” his voice cracks. “I ask you, or someone I’m with to order.”

You pat his hand, knowing it wasn’t fair to take your crush out on him. It wasn’t his fault Xiao made you want to kiss him everytime he tilted his head to indicate he was listening to you, or confused. It wasn’t Chongyun’s fault Xiao went still, buff arms flexing right before he took off to fight.

Archons, you were down bad for the Yaksha.

You couldn’t even enjoy your shaved ice.

—

“What’s your adeptal animal form,” you asks Xiao, breaking the serene silence atop Qingyun Peak. “You don’t have to answer that if it’s rude.”

He wouldn’t answer if he didn’t want to either way.

You no longer found it rude when he stayed silent. Xiao meant what he said, and therefore took more time to speak, and didn’t answer at all when he didn’t think his words added to the conversation. The more time you spent with him, the easier you were able to read him.

It wasn’t so much that he was an unfeeling adeptus, but rather he was usually occupied with hunting demons. He falters when he knows you’re joking but cannot understand the joke. His eyes widen when you hand him dried chrysanthemums for protection. It was a peasant superstition, but the idea of Xiao fighting alone weighed you down if you contemplated it for too long.

He sits down next to you, feet dangling over the edge. “A Peng.”

“Huh.” You vaguely recalled a giant bird story, but Adepti were usually giant animals that saved Liyue at some point.

“Similar to this,” Xiao points at his tattoo. The bright colour shines against his pale skin. He never sunburns unlike you.

You study the depiction closely. You brush your fingers against his skin, tracing the lines of the tattoo.

Xiao shivers under your touch, his eyes flutter closed.

“Are there more?”

“Yes.” His voice is distant, in the world of the adepti you couldn never understand. “They do not immerse themselves in mortal affairs.” Xiao turns his gaze towards you, the naked emotion in his eyes draws you in. You cup his cheek with your hand before you think better of it.

He leans into your touch. “Seldomly do they take a mortal appearance.”

“Would you ever show me?” You knew he’d be beautiful. It was Xiao, you’d love him in every shape and form.

He pulls away, jerking away from you.

You let him, drawing back, giving him space.

Xiao clenches his gaze, cor lapis eyes on you. His mouth parts, but he thinks better of it, wavering between thoughts. He finally looks away.

“Xiao? You don’t have to.” You remind him. You think he might disappear like smoke in the air. “Xiao?”

“It is not safe for you.”

“Huh?” You don’t follow. “There’s no hilichurls up here.”

“My karmic debt…I could not forgive myself if I tainted you as well.”

You don’t understand. “I’m always safe with you.”

His shoulders tense, the Yaksha grows taunt as a bow string.

You reach out. “Xiao,” you utter softly, caressing his cheek with the back of your hand, “you would never hurt me.” Your belief in that is absolute. You had more than enough belief for the both of you.

He meets your searching gaze, eyes wide in surprise. There’s a glassy quality to their soft brown shade.

Tears.

You know he’ll leave seconds before Xiao disappears in flashes of green and black.

–

You burn three incense sticks at your makeshift camp. The delivery at Wangshu in had taken longer than you should’ve. Verr Goldet was dealing with a broken door or something to do with a guest, you weren’t sure of the details. There were travellers from Monstadt so your food order had taken an hour. Nothing that was anyone’s fault, but now you had to camp out in Guili Plains. It was too late to try and make it to the Millelith Outpost in Liyue Pass. It was by far your favourite place to purchase artisan presents for Lantern Rite and birthdays, before they got marked up in Liyue Harbor.

So now you’re stuck here until daybreak.

You go back and forth between lighting a fire. It’s warm this far inland, without the ocean breeze or mountain winds, but a fire might attract hilicurls or treasure hoarders.

But if you were lighting incense sticks, you might as well have a hot dinner.

You kneel, praying to Rex Lapis and all the adepti. You pray that Xiao is safe, wherever he is, whatever he’s fighting.

You pray that Xiao is safe from monsters and the weight of his karmic debt.

—

You manage to deliver to Liyue Harbor and gather herbs in Qingxu Pool before heading back through Liyue Pass. Qingxu pool had more violetgrass than qingxu flowers but it was allergy season. Violetgrass was needed.

It wasn’t your favourite place to gather in, but these two herbs were the trickiest to find, loving spots out of the way, clumping in fours at best. You didn’t want to overpick and then lose a harvesting spot.

It’s sunset when you reach the Statue of Morax.

Your new boots were a mistake. You know there’s blisters on your ankles and soles. Breaking in leather sucked.

Your old boots left you with stinging pain whenever you stepped on any rock so there really wasn’t any winning.

Bowing your head at the statue, you say a little prayer to the geo archon. Morax. Rex Lapis. You’d made another successful trek. The god of contracts had built his nation in the most beautiful part of Teyvat. You could only hope to add to Liyue’s prosperity.

It’s hard to get back up, your muscles sore. Exhaustion always hit you in the last moments when rest is at hand. You were so close.

The people of Liyue pass were kind. They were always willing to host you for a night, forming a contract in exchange for something simple and silly like telling children a bedtime story or sweetflowers which were always abundant throughout Liyue. Uncle Liu generally wanted thunder god vine which was something you always carried.

You were happy to know you’d be fed and well rested tonight.

You hear the music, firecrackers going off in the dusk. The entire village was decorated in lanterns and colourful banners. A wedding!

Uncle Liu had many granddaughters of an age with you. Could one of them be getting married?

There would be roasted duck and lots of desserts like tofu pudding with red beans and almonds. Your mouth watered at the idea of fried fish and shrimp balls.

The folk music was carried by the wind.

It made the night take a magical quality to it. With the decorations and sky full of stars, it was a perfect backdrop to a celebration.

You smile, thinking of the silk flowers you could give the happy couple.

You look around. There’s pots of bamboo on the rock wall leading into the village proper.

The people are in reds and yellows, dancing and singing.

You grin, taking in the sight. You loved Liyue, you loved being from here and getting so many moments like this one. It wasn’t just Lantern Rite when the country was at its most beautiful.

You wonder if Xiao would go into Liyue Harbor with you for Lantern Rite. Hu Tao would talk his ear off but your heart fluttered at the idea of spending the festivities with him.

You’re so caught in your thoughts, they featured Xiao so often, that you nearly dismissed the Yaksha standing in the moonlight as a figment of your imagination.

You blink.

Xiao is still there, perched on a rock. It’s dark enough that no one would see him from the village, but his gaze is on the celebration.

You wonder why he doesn’t join in.

The Liu family was incredibly welcoming.

You make your way towards him instead, “Xiao?”

He jolts, standing up at once. “What is the matter?” There’s dried blood on his white shirt and dirt on his pants.

“Nothing,” you laugh lightly, “I’m always glad to see you.”

“Mm.” His gaze returns to the celebration.

You sit down next to him, sighing at the relief of being off your feet.

It’s nice: to listen to music with Xiao. While it’s not as energetic as Xinyan’s songs, there’s a beauty in the traditional wind and wood instruments. They were songs you’d known all your life.

“Are you alright?” You venture to ask. You’d never seen anything draw blood from Xiao.

“Mhm.” He nods. “The fight was long, but I persevered as I must to fulfil my sworn duty.”

You rest a hand on his shoulder, “so I don’t have to go get Baizhu then?” It was half a joke, half sincere worry.

“No.” Xiao shakes his head, “the statue of the Seven is all the healing I require.”

You nod, deciding to lay back against the rock. You were greedy for every minute you could spend with Xiao. Food, a warm bed, you could put those off for a while longer.

There was a tranquillity to just being besides Xiao.

Maybe Chongyun had been right. But the surge of panic that Xiao might vanish from your life kept you from saying anything about your feelings towards him.

Instead you reclined on the rock.

You release the hold on his shoulder, moving your hands to fiddle with the amulets around your neck. They were small fragile things, nothing compared to the adepti amulets Xiao wore.

He looks down at you, his expression tender in the starlight. You never tired of gazing at him, at the cut of his jaw and the light in his honeyed eyes. Unabashedly, you drink him in.

If he could look at you in such a way that had your heart palpitating despite not even touching you, then you could look at Xiao. You loved him.

He’d never so much as made a move to kiss you yet your heart was his. Every beat of your mortal heart belonged to the Vigilant Yaksha.

The music changes as a drumbeat joins the fray.

You close your eyes, stretching out like a cat. It felt nice. It was nice.

There was no pressure to make conversation.

Xiao brushes your hair out of your face. His hand lingers against your jawbone for a moment, too long to be a mistake.

You blink.

His mouth is parted in surprise at his own actions, he hunches in on himself, glancing back down at the party. He hugs his knees to his chest.

“You like music,” you ask.

“I do.”

Softly you offer, “we should go down there. Uncle Liu has always been kind to me and I always love an excuse to dance.”

Your words hang in the air.

You sit up, wrapping an arm around Xiao’s back lightly, unsure if he’d be okay with the action. You’re prepared for him to pull away immediately.

Instead, he replies, “I cannot endanger them for my own enjoyment.”

Your heart aches for him.

“I can listen from here.”

You squeeze his shoulders, “this is a great view,” you reply earnestly. There was no place else you’d rather be.

“I agree.” Xiao meets your gaze, brows drawn in thought.

He was so close you could see each individual eyelash of his. They were teal. Almost dark enough to be black at first glance.

You smile tenderly.

“I-,” he frowns at himself.

“What is it?”

Xiao cups your cheek with his hand. It’s the closest you’ve been since he saved your life and carried you to safety.

You swallow thickly, realising the love you felt for the man was mirrored in his eyes.

“Can I kiss you,” he asks in a hush whisper.

You don’t trust your voice. You nod, still not believing this was real, this was truly happening. Though you’d daydreamed that Xiao reciprocated your feelings, it had been more fantasy than a reality. You never believed it was possible.

But it was real.

The press of his lips against yours, Xiao’s breath warm on your skin, his thumb rubs your cheek. It was real. He kissed you with a softness you’d come to expect from the Yaksha.

He was a warrior; he moved through the world like a gentle breeze. His love for Liyue went further than a simple contract made long ago.

Xiao loved you.

Xiao kisses you softly and the moment is far too short.

He pulls back, tilting his head. Red dusts his cheeks, “I cannot say when I grew fond of you, but I have.” He lets out a sigh. “I wish to kiss you again?”

“I would very much like that,” you reply giddily, “I look forward to seeing you each week, and feel guilty when I don’t pass through Jueyun Karst.” You had to be mindful of how much you collected from any one spot.

“I would prefer that you did not go to Jueyun Karst,” Xiao admits, “but I selfishly enjoy your foolish ventures into Jueyun Karst.”

You laugh, full of love. You laugh knowing you are loved by the one you love.

You lean into him, kissing his cheek, “thank you for spending time with me.” You treasured every moment with him.

He nods, incredibly flustered.

So you kiss him again, granting his wish yourself.

His lips were slightly chapped. You hardly cared. He kisses you back clumsily. His hold on your cheek tightens, checking that you were solid, that you were kissing him.

You forget all about food and how tired you are. Your thoughts are full of Xiao.

Xiao caresses your cheek as you catch your breath.

You feel his heartbeat race from your hand on his back.

“Would you like to dance,” his voice was small.

You nod, beaming from delight. He liked you. He’d kissed you. Now he was asking to dance with you. Xiao, your Xiao.

“Yes.” Anywhere with Xiao was perfect.

[strxbrymochi]

random when you're sick jaemin drabble

pairing: jaemin x reader (i tried to make it gen neutral djsjsjs)

words: like less than 1k ish??

warnings: mentions of sickness, illness, id say it be too close to home fr

synopsis: basically you're sick and jaemin's here to comfort you as much as he can long distance style.

note: a random ass drabble i came up w as im lying in bed sick for the 4th day and after a conversation i had with my mom bc i needed an outlet lol (its like 99% based on real life events other than the fact that i unfortunately do not have a jaemin with me 💔)

you absolutely despised being sick. okay, maybe sometimes you would be okay with it because it served as a formidable excuse to get out of work or your responsibilities for a couple days but that was when "sick" constituted to simply a cold or a fever that passes over the next day, not when you're tied down to the bed and the toilet every second of every day.

you wake up one day to shivers, brushing it off, you continue on with your day, heading over to work. on your way to work, you start feeling dizzy, nausea hitting you. you take a pill to calm down and make your way to your shift. today, you were working at a small fast food chain restaurant and if things couldn't get any worse, you were assigned to deal with the blowtorch. the heat from the fire and small space rushing all the way to your head but you push through, making it to the very end of your 3 hour shift.

making your way to your next appointment, you scavenge for food to hopefully give you back your appetite. you haven't eaten a proper decent meal all day; only crackers before you drank your pill. oh, and did i forget to mention, you headed into work with a 38 degree fever; claiming "to be fine" because you needed the hours to sustain your living expenses in a foreign country all alone.

at your meeting, you're met with fatigue. a wave of exhaustion rushes over you and coughing fits take over. your brain barely processing what was being discussed, only speaking when directly being asked a question. but still, you push through, ensuring everyone around you that you were going to be okay. that it will all brush away soon and that you really are just tired. your fever has reached close to 40 degrees.

you sigh, throwing your phone on your bed. on any other day you would have loved to talk to jaemin, especially now that you two were oceans apart. it killed you to know that if only you hadn't moved he would be right there and you could see him in person. that alone would've been all the medicine you need to get better. but alas, life had other plans.

the next couple days consisted of sleep, wake up, repeat. occassional trips to the toilet and visits from coughing fits disrupting your sleep that make you sound like you're entering into an entirely different dimension. you had absolutely no energy-- to eat, to move, to do anything really. when you said you needed a break, this wasn't what you meant.

jaemin would call you, or attempt to call you and you would pick up, if you were awake and if you were in the mood to speak. he would send you daily messages to drink your medicine, eat meals, get some rest. you knew he was worried and it killed you not to be able to ensure some type of reassurance everything was going to be fine. you knew if he found out what you had been actually doing, you would never hear the end of it.

one night you had awoken from your nap struggling to find something to eat, let alone the energy to consume anything. at this point, your stomach is practically bounded to an electrical heating compress to temporarily soothe your pains. you weren't sure if you were getting any better. your fever was relatively gone sure, but the coughs, stomach pains and diarrhea remained. let alone, that morning you almost passed out in the toilet, hearing muffled, ears ringing, vision blurred. all you could do is pray.

well, at least your sense of humor was back.

---

LOL such an abrupt ending idk i just needed an outlet to express how im currently feeling and whats been going on these past few days so if theres a delay with mtt or my other stuff i apologize once again 😭😭 need all the prayers and support i can get fr; being sick is one thing, being sick in a foreign country alone is another story. for anyone else who has gone thru or is currently going thru same thing, i hope yalls feel better soon and that know things will get better! bc i know thats what i need rn 🫡

[mostlymaudlin]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

thank you @decaflondonfog for the tag !! ill tag @sillyunicorn @starwarned @urban-sith @tea-brigade

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

98!! (woah) plus an unrevealed t&n fest fic, so 99. wow i need to do something rly crazy for 100 lol. what if i do a ridiculous crossover of all my fandoms and everyone in the fandom tags will hate me. 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

544,914. (again. woagh)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly all for the game and simon snow series, have dabbled in & posted even less for check please, captain america, and one direction! i feel like i’m missing something but regardless my fixations are hardcore, so all except like 4k of that posted wc is for either aftg or ss hahahha

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all are andreil! boyfriend privileges (4k, T) / Trigger (62k, E) / flashes of intimacy (10k, t) / Would you still love me if I was a worm? (6k, T) / Inside Thoughts (1k,T)

man this is long, rest is going under the cut lol

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not very often, but i wish i did. i am stricken with a combination of being really awkward when people are nice to me & being bad at interacting with anyone in ways i fear could be perceived as ingenuine. im not sure if that makes sense LMAO. and sometimes when i put a story out, i kind of feel like i’ve said my piece — i’ve put so much into it that i don’t really know what else to say!

anyway, i always reply to questions, because that’s got clear social boundaries hahaha, and i DO love talking abt my stories!! and sometimes i’ll reply to comments that really get me thinking. but yeah, i know i reply less than i could, and i want to like double down on the fact that i am endlessly grateful for everyone who has ever left a comment on my work <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i have killed simon snow twice lmfao. i’d actually classify icarus as rather hopeful — it’s about grief & healing. but legacies is just fucked up lmfao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh man, i write a lot of happy endings haha. i feel like even when my story is tonally darker (rare), it still has a happy or at least hopeful ending. this is probably not the correct answer, but i think sing of the moon has a really vividly happy ending. like — the sun rises for the first time in the whole fic! amazing. or maybe my high school au, We Can Live Forever, which is just the happiest thing i’ve ever written. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really, thankfully! people are smartasses sometimes but overall ive been lucky. there have been a couple of fics where ive winced before hitting post, but it usually ends up fine

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yessss. i guess i mostly write tender smut, bc i write tender things in general. i think my smut tends to be rather exploratory/playful as well? intentionally sloppy and awkward choreography hahaha

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

sort of LOL. once upon a time i was betaing @tea-brigade's medieval snowbaz au, Reliquary of an Arsonist, and there’s this part where three highway bandits mug simon and baz and then get blasted by simon’s chosen one magic. i am sick in the head so im in the google doc like “lol what if its kandreil.” and then i was like… what if it was kandreil….. and so i wrote Reliquary of a Bandit

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!!! and i’m really thankful for everyone who has done so <3333 shoutout to russian aftg translators, yall go HARD

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i recently collaborated with @thewholelemon on our episode of Star Trek: Redemption, Heart-Shaped Box. by which i mean: i wrote the outline & a few scenes, got really overwhelmed, and jenny turned it into something worth reading! 

i also wrote Good Boy in the snowbaz stoner verse with @starwarned, which was rly fun — we sat in the google doc for like, 5 hours trading back and forth on POVs as we wrote pure porn together LOL. it’s funny to think about this, because lauren knows like everything abt me now but we did not know each other as well back then!!! and we were just like “yeah lets write porn together” hahahahha 

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

right now it is deeefinitely andreil… they are everything to me for reasons i just cannot possibly be brief about LOL so ill just leave it at that

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have a postcanon snowbaz time travel/time loop wip that i was going to try to write for COBB this year but i fucked up the deadlines then the brainrot was like “guess that means more andreil !”. i did SO MUCH research for it and i think it’s rather clever and smutty and fun bc they are yeeted back to watford era! but it’s also dealing with snowbaz, who are in their late 20s and are like in a relationship low point/actively fighting when they end up in the loop… so they are dealing with that tension at the same time as they are trying to get out of the loop. and also fucking around watford to fulfill fantasies HAHAHA

16. What are your writing strengths?

characterization is the thing i care most about! and i think that’s the draw of fanfic in particular to me — i love getting such a grasp on a character that i can translate them into endless situations while still making them feel true to self. i rarely let myself publish anything until i can read through the whole thing without any he would not fucking say that moments hahahha. this is of course pertaining to my own interpretations of the characters, which is the only thing i care abt lmfao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i rely a lot on body language because im always writing abt reticent fuckers who cant use their words. but i think i sometimes overcompensate, or describe actions that don't actually fit the scene. i've seen this described as "cheek-biting" -- like, throwing in action during a conversation just to delay the pacing/further the tone, but when you really look at it, it's not necessary. (cheek-biting being like, "character bites at their cheek" in the middle of a tense conversation)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i don’t really know any other languages! i think i’ve put a little bit of french in neil/kevin/baz POVs before, but my french knowledge is elementary at best. love the idea of it though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

one direction babyyyyyyyy !! i wrote quite a bit of it in like 2012-2015 but published very little. there’s 1 on my ao3, some lost somewhere on fanfiction.net (i dont rmr my username lol), and tons in my folders from my old laptop lol.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

hmmmmm. im gonna cheat bc i cant pick a single favorite. i always say i think No Turning Back is some of my best writing from a craft standpoint, and it also includes my favorite type of conflict (andrew self-destructing lol). however, i reread both that fic & We Can Live Forever on a plane trip recently after not having touched either for 6+ months — and the solidness of We Can Live Forever actually surprised me, especially because i wrote the majority of that fic while i was stoned and also view it as just exceedingly silly. the world of it is just very rich, and also very very different from the typical character backstories, and i’m very proud of how much that reread played with my heartstrings.  

ok last one — there are several installments of my flashes of intimacy series that i come back to a lot, because i’m proud of what they each accomplish in 500 words. especially because i often turn to those when im trying to express my own emotions lol. specifically, my favorites are picking fights, i don’t mind, swimming lessons, and practicing gratitude.

that was such a bullshit and cocky way to answer this lmfaooooo. but tbh i am my own biggest fan and that is by design — i write stuff so that i can reread it months later and have it be perfectly catered to my tastes. i love all my fics <3

[emily-prentits]

for the writing asks: 7, 18, 27, & 28 :)

7: your preferred writing fonts:

i've taken to writing in IM Fell DW Pica within the past... year maybe? its pretty :) i like how the italics look

18: if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic:

i'll give you two paragraphs bc i cut about 1k from ch6 and i'm like 90% sure i won't ever do anything with it lol.

Meredith shushes her gently, and Addison almost slumps against the wall. “You said it yourself, this week has been a lot. You sound like you need this more than I do, Addie.” A beat, then: “Will you let me?” “Yes,” Addison whispers into the phone. Giving up her semblance of control feels intimate, perhaps more than it should.

27: your favorite part of the writing process?

editing LOL. im pretty sure it's not much of a secret anymore how much i really don't like to write. i love editing stuff tho! i've found it's a lot more enjoyable for me to edit things, whether my own fics or beta reading for others.

28: your least favorite part of the writing process?

oh god fleshing out my outlines KILL ME. i can spit out ideas and plots like they're nothing but when it comes to writing them??? augh. it's a struggle. this is the reason i have never written (and finished/planned to finish) a multi before revenge. i am just not cut out for that type of writing. in the words of bestie which it's either egregiously long oneshots or nothing 🫡

fic writer asks!

[iiusia]

🧊💬☕️📚🎃🔥🎵!!! HI!!!

🧊: How do you get over writer's block?

..... wait it out? IM SORRY THATS A BAD ANSWER..... i do not have a magical fix-it unfortunately i just try my best. uhm. sometimes i write out scenes i wanna write in a super informal manner? like imagine youre explaining the scene through dms with a friend like "so x says this and then y is like WHAT and then they talk about.. etc." and while that doesnt always get me Writing necessarily it makes me feel like ive Advanced a bit at least

💬: Do you reread comments?

YES. all the time. every single comment or even compliment ive gotten on here i treasure them deeply... they remind me that im actually Doing Something not just tricking myself into thinking that im good at this LOL

☕️: What time of the day do you prefer to write?

honestly i only write when the feverish urge to overtakes me and i bang out 1k words in one sitting and that can happen Any time of day. mostly though its around 9 pm when ive studied all day and my eyes are dry. for some reason

📚: What are some of the favorite things you've learned while doing research?

uhmmmmmm. hmmmmmmm. and if i say im not a does research while writing rabbithole girlie.... what then............... maybe that means im just not adventurous enough in my writing. the most ive looked up i think is how a body would look after 3 years of being buried (if it was a proper burial apparently it should be shockingly well preserved)

🎃: Do you write for holiday (Halloween, Christmas, etc) events? If so, what's your favorite work from one of those events?

naur................ events make me feel like an animal being hunted for sport so ive sworn them off

🔥: What's a piece of writing advice you consider bad advice?

OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT. here's the thing. once i watched a billy collins npr interview and he said some very true things about writing poetry and then things i disagree with vehemently. "I mean, if you're going to become proficient at anything, like the cello, you would take cello lessons. If you wanted to be a sculptor, you would take lessons in sculpture-making. You wouldn't just attack a piece of marble with your bare hands and a screwdriver." <- THIS IS TRUE!!!!

HOWEVER. something he said is that you cant just read "poems from a magazine" and expect to get good at writing poetry. like you need to read paradise lost you need to read the classics to get a sense of the inherent rhythms of the english language. and while i AGREE that it's good to familiarize yourself with the evolution of poetry and the history behind it and the Intent behind it. i dont think the reduction of anything that's not a classic is like. good. how do you get better at poetry???? you read poetry that you like and pick out what makes it good to you. you read poetry you DONT like and pick out what doesn't work for you!! and then you write and practice and practice and practice and THATS how you get good. i dont know. the "poems from a magazine" line bothered me SO bad. someone who's read shakespeare's sonnets will not become a better writer than someone who reads fleur adcock. anyways. peace and love on planet earth

🎵: Do you create playlists for your fics?

no ..... i fear i am boring in that regard im just really bad at it bc ill just add the songs i Like right now

[mysicklove]

hello mello!!!

i feel like this'll be a really long thing so bear with me 🐻😞

first off, i want to say i love your writing so much literally every time i read a post of yours i want to gobble it up in the best way possible because AAADAHVSA its so beautiful!!! i havent been on ur tumblr for long but im definitely staying bcs YESS dom reader

and second, i don't know if you've addressed this previously or not since ive only come across your tumblr recently (recently being like the past week or two 😭☹️) but i was one of the fans of your new pack (sorry if this brings back war flashbacks ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙) when it first started like last year and absolutely ATE IT UP. i reread it for the sake of it a week ago and thats what led me to ur account (which i am SOOO grateful for i cant even), and i can see how much you've improved and its so genuinely inspiring!! <333

i was curious since it'd been a year since the last update and im new to ur account, so i checked on ur main acc and saw the post you put up abt your new pack and i COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND. i dont know if im pushing a boundary or bringing up something old or something here by writing this but i was (and still am) invested in your story and characters, and i know it's been a year but curiosity kills the cat so i wanted to ask if its officially discontinued?

idk i feel weird writing this cuz it was so old, plus when i was reading that post (and others regarding the fic) i understood how you felt so i dont know if i should post this ahahah

i would completely understand if it was discontinued considering its age and length, or if you've moved on from it and, of course, your own feelings! i love your writing and dont want to make you feel anything negative about this, you don't even have to answer it :) i just wanted to get that out and maybe get an answer lol, dont feel pressured or anything by what i said or anything, i just wanted to express how much i loved your work :))

<3333

hmmmm j guess i would consider it discontinued. as i’ve said before if i was to come back to it, i would 100% just like rewrite it all bc AHHH it was horribly written, but i literally am struggling so much to write even 1k of words let alone 88k. so at this point it is discontinued, but maybe one day when i have free time and am motivated. i have been slowly crawling back to the mha fandom….

but AHHH i’m glad ur here and i appreciate ur kind words!! i wish i had a better answer for u :(

[backseatloversz]

hey. what the fuck

this is a super rough outline. why did i spend an hour on it. where did all these thoughts come from

might fuck around and write neil/ginny ,,,,,,

[stay-corner]

[grocery shopping - changbin]

warnings: none, just a fluffy little blurb haha

words: idk but less than 1k i think

me: the bag is so heavy ㅠㅠ

binnie🐰: i'm sorry. be careful!

me: 😵

binnie🐰: how many sweets did you buy??

me: not a lot

me: just

me: enough to satisfy me ^^

me: i don't even know why the bag is so heavy

binnie🐰: maybe your arms are just weak lol

me: WHAT DO U MEAN >:((

of course, the one time you go grocery shopping without changbin, you happen to buy a lot of stuff. you really only went to buy some very basic things, but you ended up getting... so many snacks...

the shop is only a swift 15 minutes walk away from your apartment, but because of the heavy bag you are doomed to carry, it feels more like an hour, or maybe ten. a hundred years!! it really doesn't help that changbin is now spamming your phone with petty remarks. ("see, this is why you should work out with me," "this wouldn't have happened if you just waited a little for me to get ready," "wet noodle arms y/n, it's ok, it makes you even cuter :P")

you're fuming by the time you reach your street: your shirt is damp, sticking to your body uncomfortably, and you're huffing, panting heavily from all the effort. your legs quiver slightly and sweat starts dripping down the sides of your face and neck, but seeing your building, you feel a bit better. that is, until changbin sticks his stupid pretty little head out the window, cheeky smile on his face, gaze fixed on your form.

"woooh!! come on, you can do it! there you go, weightlifting fairy y/n!! haha!" he hoots, wiggling his arm around in mocking encouragement. you don't even have the energy to shout back at him - though you really want to, he's so embarrassing - so you simply settle on a murderous glare; one that lets him know you're not playing around. still, he can't help but giggle annoyingly, disappearing back into the apartment and closing the window.

you sort of hope that he'll come down the stairs and at least help you climb them, but instead you find yourself going up the stairs alone. the moment you see your apartment door, however, you only see bloody red. changbin opened it, and he's currently waiting for you with a shit-eating grin on his handsome face. your head hangs low, defeated, as you finally, finally, get the bag inside, dropping it in the hallway and moving quickly in order to take off the sticky shirt and to ignore his incessant teasing.

changbin goes to grab the bag, entirely curious of its weight, but before he even gets his hands around the handles, your head snaps dangerously towards him.

"changbin," you mutter, his hands enclosing around the handles, "don't you dare laugh at me," you continue, eyes squinting, but he's already lifted the bag, and at this point it's too late. he bursts into a fit of giggles, that grow into a hearty laugh, his body doubling over.

"y/n, oh my god, y/n," he wheezes, now kneeling on the floor, hands supporting his weight, "y/n, this is so funny, wait 'til the guys hear about it-"

"NOT. A. WORD."

the only sounds echoing through the hallway are your lighthearted smacks against his back and his high pitched wheezes at the fact that the bag is, in fact, not at all heavy.

based on a true story ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

i just felt like writing a short blurb abt what just happened to me TuT i totally think changbin would make fun of u if u struggled with the grocery bag, but then he'd feel bad about you having to carry it all the way home, so he'd make it up to you for teasing in the end bc he's a sweetie!!

- lunar

[causenessus]

Congrats on 1k!!! Well deserved! May I request fluffiest of fluff of 🏠 with Kenma? Just like him and reader’s everyday life after becoming newlyweds or something

Thank you ☺️

domesticity. | kozume k.

kenma x f! reader

written in 2nd pov

one word prompt from 1k followers event: 🏠 -> domesticity

"let's skip to the wedding, let's stay past the ending, i'm gonna be good to you <3" from let's skip to the wedding by eyedress

word count: 1.1k

notes: fluff!! and written as headcannons i hope that's alright <3 it was just kind of the way my brain immediately took the request. thank you so much for requesting! this was adorable to write i hope u enjoy <3 also, a mention of 10 cent bag rule that some states do lol. just wanted to explain it beforehand so no one is confused, it's just something mandatory some states do where either you bring a resuable bag or pay 10 cents for a plastic bag! also sorry for any weird formatting, tumblr is having a FIT rn

you guys are finally married!! what does your life as newlyweds look like? <3

kenma did NOT get up the day after your wedding. and he didn’t let you get up either. you guys cuddled the entire day and then got up at like 6pm to get takeout for your first meal as husband and wife LMAO

that was basically your honeymoon but if you want to actually go somewhere, that’s totally fine <3 he’ll go with you

but his love definitely comes out most in just plain domesticity

and if you guys started living with each other even before getting married, you’ve definitely gotten a taste of that simple life

domesticity with kenma looks like you guys sharing a lot of chores

if he washes the dishes, you put them away and vice versa

and he actually enjoys doing the dishes (maybe slightly just bc you squeal and can’t help but kiss his cheek every time you see him roll up his sleeves and tie his hair back. just maybe)

on the other hand, LAUNDRY is the bane of your guys’ existence which means folding + movie nights are a STAPLE in your household

you both definitely take turns picking out movies while folding clothes or while you mend his old nekoma sweats

laundry makes him feel like years are being taken off his life though. he loves being on stray sock duty (pulling out your giant bag of stray socks and trying to find matches when the pile gets big enough) or sometimes he just ends up cuddling you instead. usually its with his arms wrapped around your waist, and he loves putting his head in your lap

sometimes it gets hard folding laundry when he does that

but you can’t complain, watching a movie and cuddling? suddenly laundry’s not that bad

and he’s just so comfortable and has this crazy effect of always making you feel sleepy that you guys have fallen asleep countless times on the couch

although this also leads to you guys waking up and the most random movies playing most of the time

like the one time you guys woke up to the shining theme playing and literally thought you were about to die (IK I MENTIONED THIS IN COLD KISSES BEFORE BUT IT IS STILL SUCH A FUNNY MEMORY TO ME)

sometimes you guys throw in a blanket while drying your clothes just so that while you’re both folding laundry you can be under a warm blanket too <3

you definitely binged like all the conjuring movies while folding laundry too

my guy cannot be trusted in the kitchen but he will try his very best if you ask him for help

will for sure keep you company in the kitchen no matter what though

is sometimes on music duty or will just play his switch while you’re cooking and you both enjoy the peaceful moment <3

he can also make tea or coffee for both of you while you're cooking!! he's very good at that <3 and definitely helps grab plates when you're both ready to eat

and sometimes gets out of bed early in the morning so he can bring you a cup of tea while you're still waking <3

especially on cold mornings. will 100% get out of bed for you. you're both cold? you want the heater up? okay <3 he'll get out of bed to turn it up before getting straight back into bed and pulling you close, nuzzling his cold face into your warm neck

he’s very good in grocery stores

at pushing the cart.

and holding your grocery list if you really trust him

please don’t leave him he’ll literally go into panic mode and stand in the middle of the bread aisle until you come back

or he’ll do that thing where he walks past every aisle trying to find which one you’re in and then you guys will see each other from opposite ends

to be honest he’s more of a basket guy anyway

like you walk into the grocery store and he's immediately picking up a basket (bc no way is he letting you hold it)

“kenma we need like a week’s work of groceries they’re not all gonna fit in there”

“yeah it will. i'll make it fit.”

most of the time he can't LMAO or something ends up getting squished but it’s okay

bc you know why he likes baskets?

so he can hold your hand <3

loves loves loves to play with your wedding ring, fiddling with it or just running his thumb over it while holding your hand

at first he hated grocery stores bc there’s so many inconsiderate people and it just make him feel anxious but he started to like it when he came with you

he likes following you around because you always know where you're going and he's just there for the ride

and he likes being there so that whenever you put something in the basket and ask “what’s next on the list?” he can tell you <3 he takes his job as grocery list holder very seriously

also surprisingly good at remembering to bring reusable bags (or will insist on holding everything. he is NOT paying 10¢ for a bag)

he may also sneak a few snacks into the basket/cart (if you forced him to get one) which is always okay <3

dinner looks like him stopping everything to eat with you or inviting you to watch/play with him while you guys eat

because again quality time is such an important and prominent love language in your guys’ life

he loves to just have you there with him and it’s all you need as well <3

but especially by marriage, if you want one-on-one time he will absolutely give you his full attention. why would he pass up on a chance to stare at his wife's pretty face and listen to her talk?

his chat and fanbase are also definitely well acquainted with you and adore you

they’re always melting over your interactions and sometimes when you walk by the camera and they see you they’re all freaking out like “OMG IT’S Y/N!!!!” “CAN WE SAY HI TO Y/N”

he always laughs when he sees his chat, because sometimes he doesn’t even notice you walking around in the background but he always complies. “babe?” he’ll call out

“what’s up?” you ask, coming back into the room

“my chat just wants to say hi,” he answers and you always smile, walking closer to his desk and leaning over his shoulder to say hi

it literally warms his heart to see his wife interacting with his chat <3

and when his followers found out you guys were getting married? #ynxkenmaendgameishappening went viral on twitter

and nearly everytime he refers to you as his wife his chat still blows up

you probably join him for q&as most often, and he once again is usually holding your hand in his lap, fidgeting with the pretty ring on your finger while you talk to the stream

at night he’s definitely a late sleeper, but you’ve scolded him about looking at screens in the dark too many times for him to count

so oftentimes you’re curled up at his side, your face nuzzled into his torso to block out the light while he has a small lamp on and an arm resting you, holding you close

and when he finally goes to bed, he never fails to press a kiss to your head before wrapping his arms around u <3

[1kook]

A COLLECTION  [ updated: 8 . 23 . 21 ]

— STATUS ONGOING — NO REPOSTS — ASKS under #ncouple ! — Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr

—NETFLIX & CHILL.

summary If you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed ‘Netflix and chilling,’ maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality.  warnings smut in the forms of grinding, oral (f), cum eating, vanilla unprotected sex, dirty talk misc use of the oldest trick in the book (“your hands are sooo big”), shy oblivious AND gentleman jk? pick a struggle, brief ment of app developer kook, evil and conniving oc  word count 10.2k  posted june 12, 2020

—HULU & WOOHOO.

summary But there’s more important matters to attend to than Jungkook’s Jersey Shore boner. warnings slight feelings of insecurity, smut in the forms of fingering, cunnilingus, cum eating, squirting, hand jobs, unprotected sex, riding, slight praise kink  misc if you’re not a Jersey shore fan honestly GET OUT, mentions of capitalism😡, more kind/understanding kook, basically a “what are we?” fic but silly, irresponsible emailing habits, its so dumb just read word count 6.3k posted july 4, 2020

—IMAX & CLIMAX.

summary The occasional dark horse candidate among Barbie movie binges— Jungkook gets weirdly horny and fucks you to the tune of a classic Barbie movie soundtrack. warnings smut in the form of blowjobs, tit play, praise kink, standing sex, unprotected sex, reverse cowgirl (? kinda), daddy kink that morphs into ily kink misc  jk is an avid history channel viewer, jk hates Barbie movies ik we took an L today girls 😔, jk goes thru like 4 personality changes (commanding > soft > mean > in love), honestly idk what to tag it’s a mess, he’s still cheesy and romantic but also 👀 just read word count 9.8k posted august 5, 2020

—KISSANIME & FOREPLAY.

summary You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings mentions of hentai, smut in the forms of cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 word count 8.2k posted september 1, 2020

—DISNEY+ & BUST.

summary There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door.   warnings arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of humiliation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment (? idk lol), unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, the return of mean jk, desperate jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf misc angst, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans word count 13k posted september 9, 2020

—ESPN & BDSM.

summary You would like to personally thank every loud-mouthed, ESPN commentator out there for saving you from Jungkook’s dangerous seduction skills.   warnings smut in the forms of brief femdom, handcuffs, nipple clamps, blindfolding, flogging/use of a riding crop, soft dom kook, cunnilingus, spitting, unprotected but passionate, degradation, as always it starts horny n then turns into I love u kink misc kook has a swollen ankle so idk how he did all this, jk abuses the fuck outta pet names part 7, revenge gone wrong tbh, this was honestly a beginner’s intro to vanilla bdsm word count 12.7k posted september 14, 2020

—YOUTUBE & USE LUBE.

summary You can’t believe this is Jungkook’s preferred sick day treatment; YouTube, cuddles, and an ugly amount of lube. warnings smut in the forms of nipple play, handjobs, spit kink, face riding, unprotected, flavored warming lube, riding, praise kink, soft femdom, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, tit sucking, tit fucking, more jk has an impreg kink, oh and this is all subby kook misc domesticity baby!! fluff, soft scenes /.\, jk is sick:((, doyeon is A Doctor, yn sees an opportunity and she grabs it, surprise ending <3 word count 8.7k   posted september 30, 2020

—VIKI & HICKEYS.

summary Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air.   warnings a little hurt + a lot of comfort, mentions of cheating!villain!jin, insecure!kook, emotional breakdowns, mentions of jk’s lonely past, jk cries :( smut in the forms of making out, eating out, fingering, clit play, hickeys, jk likes cum, double orgasm, squirting, tiny praise kink, blindfolding, rough + unprotected sex, doggy style, choking!!!, breeding/impreg kink, JEALOUS KOOK, mini hand kink, a lil bit of spanking, degradation, he gets progressively meaner lol oc cries, jk is a good boy n I want him to be happy   misc there’s a lot of fuckin plot omfg -_-, it’s Valentine’s Eve!, doyeon makes Some Points, mentions of park seojoon juicy ass, they go on a d8 😳, oc like rlly wants to marry him, oc commits double phone homicide word count 16.3k posted january 14, 2021

—PEACOCK & SWEET TALK.

summary “I wanna watch Solange in Bring It On,” Jungkook smiles, and you have to wonder who exactly this blond man is and what he did with your teen-movie-hating boyfriend.   warnings smut in the forms of kissing, cunnilingus (eating out + fingering), light praise, a lil body worship, jk fat cawk, brief nipple play, playful jk, unprotected sex, riding and missionary, the jk hand kink, I love you kink, jk wants nudes, jk’s cheerleader fantasies mentioned, spit kink, light choking, jk has like a scent kink (?), mention of collars and pet play misc app developer jk becomes even MORE app developer-y, oc is anti-google, there's plot, a 2 year anniversary, Solange knowles appreciation, BLOND JK!!!, gets sappy for a sec, seahorse marriage mention, doyeon x joon side pairing, jk is disgustingly dreamy and oc is threatened by that fact word count 10.7k posted march 23, 2021

— CRUNCHYROLL & RAIL.

summary Never mind the fact you really like Sailor Moon, or that you really want to pay attention to every little detail; the moment becomes Jungkook and his big smile and his red cheeks and the tiny box he produces from within his pocket. warnings smut in the forms of making out, jk nipple play, some 69 action, cunnilingus, blowjobs, brief choking, jk trying his best to listen to oc but he doesn’t rlly :/, fingering, missionary bc his eyes are pretty, unprotected fuckin raw, its romantic but when is it not… misc fluffy and domestic <3, weekend getaway <3, the Big Question, shy jk, sailor moon supremacy, jk makes this big elaborate speech about the sun and moon, mentions of 240p YouTube quality word count 8.7k posted may 21, 2021

—FUNIMATION & PROCREATION.

summary Never mind your upcoming wedding, this was perhaps the greatest moment of your life— the day Jungkook sought out an anime on his own. warnings kissing, smut in the forms of cunnilingus, cum eating, mentions of anal, doggy style, unprotected sex with the intention of pregnancy, spitting, hand holding<3 misc the wedding night, Doyeon strikes again, jjk watches  jjk, oh no not twins word count 9.1k posted july 31, 2021

—BOOMERANG AND BANG. 

coming soon

—COOKIES & CREAM.

summary Jungkook will watch a thousand cheesy Christmas movies if it meant making you happy. (And maybe having his dick sucked.) warnings smut in the form of blowjobs, face fucking, cum facials, fingering, overstim, double orgasm, r*mantic sex, riding, unprotected, cream pies, jk does this weird thing where he licks her face yeah idk, jk loves seeing his gf cry, jk has an obsession with jizz   misc jk pov !!, eggnog slander, jk hates xmas movies, oc dresses like a sexy mrs claus, Elf !!, jk is in loooove word count 7.1k posted december 23, 2020

— TUTUS & TIARAS.

summary your first pregnancy through the lens of your husband warnings smut in the forms of penetrative sex, sex while pregnant, unprotected sex, tit play, cunnilingus, mutual masturbation, sticking the tip in and jacking off/cockwarming?, creampies, nose kink (? like she grinds against his nose), infatuation with scent, frottage/grinding, lactation kink, titluvr jk [bass boosted] misc married ncouple <3, domesticity, jk pov, mood swings, pregnancy, GIRLDAD!JK, DILF!JK, pregnant!reader, jk’s kids are virgos its true  word count 10k posted august 23, 2021

— one.

summary Maybe Jungkook wasn’t always as cool and composed as you initially believed. But that’s okay, because you love him all the same.  word count 1.3k posted September 10, 2020

—two.

summary Even after all these years, all these doubts, and all this solitude that was really no one’s fault but his own, he still finds himself hoping that maybe you’ll be the one. word count 1k posted september 11, 2020

—three.

summary But Jungkook loves the sun. word count 1.5k posted september 12th, 2020

—four.

summary For the last ten minutes or so his mind has been bothered by one thing and one thing only— the hair that hung in his face. word count 800 words posted september 22, 2020

—five.

summary Startled and inexperienced, he can’t do anything but rub his hands over your back. “It’s fine, it’s fine,” he murmurs, even though it’s not. word count 1.3k posted september 22, 2020

—six.

SUMMARY Jungkook enjoyed pushing you down, indulging you in all your little fantasies, but he too had some he wanted to live out. WC 1.8k POSTED september 25, 2020

—seven.

summary And lastly, Jungkook will bring it full circle by indulging you two in some good old fashion spooky sex where he nuts inside you because the only thing scarier than a scary movie is a pregnancy scare. It’s a perfect plan. word count 2k posted october 30, 2020

—eight.

summary You always do this— always ask for more. You take and you take until there’s nothing left for Jungkook to give. But Jungkook is the same.   word count 1.9k posted december 28, 2020

—nine.

summary “I think that, like— me and you? We’re like, totally destined,” you ramble, “you should, like, take my number! And maybe we can, like— Netflix and chill one of these days?” word count 2.2k posted january 8 2021

—ten.

summary See, there’s no one in this world who ignores his house rules more than you. Even worse, there’s no one on this planet who can make Jungkook ignore his own rules like you do. word count 1.4k posted february 14, 2021

—eleven.

summary You’re too bright, too… there. His shell is too small. word count 1.2k posted may 3, 2021

—twelve.

summary Anyway, if it was up to Jungkook, Kim Doyeon would not be a member of the Engagement Ring Committee. word count 1.4k posted may 8th, 2021

—thirteen.

summary Because for as much shit as you let him get away with, Jungkook is certain you’ll draw the line today.   word count 1k posted june 13, 2021

—fourteen.

summary Jungkook needs you to know that you can always count on him. word count 1.3k posted july 6, 2021

—fifteen.

summary It’s Jungkook’s teenage fantasy— being pushed down by a cheerleader. word count 3.1k posted august 9, 2021

— sixteen.

summary Your skin is warm and smells like sunshine. Jungkook can’t really explain it. (And also like the sunscreen you had doused him in earlier, but that isn’t as romantic.) word count 1.9K posted august 11, 2021

—seventeen.

summary She looks his way and suddenly Jungkook is nineteen again, in his dorm, listening to the first person he ever thought he loved telling him he’s too much to handle. word count 1.6k posted august 18, 2021

beautiful banners made for series!

cute and cozy gif by the lovely @ladyartemesia​ 

LASTLY: 

[taegyuun]

s/o does enhypen’s make up challenge

genre: fluff

pairing: enhypen x reader

word count: 1k+

request: Can i request enhypen reactions where their s/o is a youtuber and they do the bf does my makeup thing?👉👈

♡ — LEE HEESEUNG

alrighty here we go

maybe a bit shy at first but once he gets used to it all he’ll literally steal the show

constantly giggling bc you’re touching his face and what not

you’re like “why are you so red do you have a temp??” BABY IS BLUSHING SO BAD BC YOURE SO CLOSE TO HIS FACE FOR LIKE 20 MINS STRAIGHT but then he gets confident after a while and teases you sm

probably gets close to your face to see you blush

obviously he wears make up for his job and whatever so you were like i’m gonna go all out and once he sees himself hes like “woah” bc god dayum the GLAM 😩🙏

probably steals all your fans and interacts with them on socials and what not

they request more videos with the lee heeseung.

and what they want they shall receive.

rest of the boys under the cut !

♡ — JAY PARK

probably requires some convincing but only so he can see your reaction bc he likes to tease you

he genuienly doesn’t mind making a video about you putting make up on him with you

he just wants to see you annoyed LMAOO

every time you touch his face he’ll be like “ewwwww grossssss” while smiling so widely like he cannot conceal his smile at ALL

bruh he doesn’t even bother trying to hide it he knows it’s futile

probably investigates every product you have and you’re like put that down and he does so but then picks it up again after like 2 seconds

after you’re done hes like wtf have you done to my face but he loves it LOL he just likes being annoying

kisses your cheek at the end of the video and everyone goes WILD

your fans are in love

♡ — JAKE SIM

so blushy

GIGGLES !!! idk it’s a reoccurring theme with him

hes pretty quiet most of the time until he forgets that the camera is there and he starts acting more like himself bc it’s just you two in a way

your fans are like wtf how is a boy so cute...??

hes probably attempting to do your make up as you’re doing his and you’re like dude that can be the next video it’s my time to shine with my skills

and hes like pouting but agrees

probably talks a lot after he gets comfortable and during you doing his make up he asks you what the things to and what not like he wants to learn bc he just wants to be that little bit better than any other boyfriend could be

suggest more video ideas you two could do together bc he thoroughly enjoyed it

♡ — PARK SUNGHOON

took quite a bit of convincing tbh

hes quite the introvert so he’d be like idk :/ but after seeing you pout and grip onto his sleeve while saying please he was like ugh fine 🙄

enjoys it a lot more than he’d like to admit tbh

you’re constantly holding his face and delicately brushing his head out his eyes and kmg hes like wowowoowow head empty yet head very very full of you

he is so infatuated bro like all your comments were filled with “the way he looks at them is unfair”

your fans can’t tell if they want to be with him or want what you two have for each other

probably teases you a lot as well as you’re doing things

like idk let’s say you’re trying to curl his lashes or put mascara on him - like hell purposely blink at the wrong time or move away LMAO

♡ — KIM SUNOO

ITS HIS CHANNEL NOW !!!!!

sunoo supremacy fr !!!

literally does your intro and everything hes been waiting to do this since your first video no joke

LMFAOO HE’LL BE JUDGING THE WAY YOU DO THINGS OR THE THINGS YOU USE

hed be like “really y/n....? that’s disappointing but ok i guess.... 😒” LMAOO NOT THE SASS !!

your fans would be so in love with him losing their minds over how sassy he is

tbh you may have given up half way with doing his make up and if that’s the case he definitely took over and did your make up instead

everyone was shocked but at the same time not really at how good of a job he did

tbh he appears more on your channel from that point on than you do yourself

♡ — YANG JUNGWON

baby shy asf !!

no hes genuienly just like bashfully smiling down at his lap the whole time with rosy cheeks

you’ll be constantly having to hold his chin up with your hand which makes him even warmer in the face awww

after like 10 mins or smth he’d get back to being quite... sassy....

y’know his usual jungwon self

MOCKS YOU LMFAOOO like you’ll say smth to the camera and hes like copying you but makes it very exaggerated y’know what i mean

forgets the camera is there tbh and is very real and idk i feel like he’d be really good at entertaining your audience and well yourself as well

i can see him cutely waving when you introduce him in or smth and hes like hi i’m jungwon :)

my mf baby i love him

♡ — NISHIMURA RIKI

why is he so difficult fr

this kid is like no.... but maybe 🤨🤨 wait no. actully-

omg it took him a whole day to decide whether he was gonna do it or not but in the end you was like ok i’ll either take you to a japanese restaurant for the homey vibes or i’ll sleep all day with you

now that got him to agree

you introduce him and hes just there slightly smiling and waving gently at the camera

kinda awkward at first but y’know he gets comfy after forgetting the camera is there and hes back to his teasing self

annoys the crap out of you the whole time

LMAOO MAKES YOU REGRET ASKING HIM FOR THIS

if you like leave the room or smth he’d be like “i’m only doing this bc i want japanese food and to sleep all day” and you’re like “😟 what dont u love me” LMFAOO

[skiesofthesketchy]

Midsummers

Pairing: JJ Maybank x kook!reader

Summary: You drag a poor, unsuspecting stranger to be apart of your little scheme, but JJ doesn’t mind all that much. 

Note: Yoooooo how are you guys? This fic is dedicated to my bff @rafej-cambanks​ bc it is her birthday today!! Go send her some love! I figured this might be a nice lil surprise bc it is 1 of the maybe 2 unpublished fics that you haven’t read yet lol. Anyway, I love you SO MUCH and hope you like this :)

Still working on blurbs for my 1k celebration! Sit tight, they will be coming soon :)

Warnings: language, hella fluff, uhhhh yea Word Count: 4k

gif by @toesure​

***

Standing in front of the full-length mirror and gazing at your reflection, you couldn’t keep a straight face. The pretty emerald fabric of your dress adorned your figure perfectly, considering the thousands of dollars your mother spent on it plus having it tailored to fit you so. The hem fell to your ankles, showing off your expensive six inch heels and perfectly painted toenails. Your jewelry consisted of a simple diamond necklace and matching earrings, the sparkle adding to your already glowing complexion. You assumed your makeup would look cakey, but it actually looked quite flawless. That’s what you get when your mother hires a professional to do your makeup and hair for the most prestigious Kook party of the year.

Midsummers. Tonight was the night every Kook family planned for months beforehand, and then talked about the months following after. The party where rich socialites gather to brag about their wealth and successes over lobster and expensive champagne, playing fake nice to uphold their own powerful and pleasant reputations. You hated Midsummers with every fiber of your being, but alas, it was the one event you couldn’t get out of, and you had to attend. 

You bubbled with laughter as you gazed at your appearance, hardly looking like yourself at all. A silly flower crown in your hair and an elegant dress that could probably pay for a trip to Europe. “So this is the daughter my parents have always wanted,” you sighed, coming out of your laughing fit. 

Your parents never really understood you. All they ever wanted was for you to be their perfect princess, hanging out with other Kooks, going shopping, finding a suitable boyfriend from a wealthy family, you know, the whole shabang. And of course, keeping your grades up at the academy so that you can one day work for your father’s multi-million dollar company. It was what all Kooks expect from their kids, but you weren’t about that lifestyle.

Sure, you were grateful for your comfy upbringing, but you couldn’t care less about any of that stuff. You just wanted to have fun, travel the world, figure out who you are. You’d jump off a cliff before you had to be tied down to this boring, money-obsessed world that your parents live in. 

With a quick wink to your alter-ego in the mirror, you sauntered out of the large bathroom, your heels clacking on the white marble floors. You made your way to the extravagant lobby area of the Island Club, staying close to the wall in order to not be noticed. Your parents were thankfully already at the party outside, but there was still someone you were trying to avoid: the pathetic boy your parents had set you up with. 

He really wasn’t that bad, just boring like every other Kook boy your age. Only caring about parties, drugs, and tormenting the Pogues on the island. According to your parents though, he was a “suitable young man” because his parents were wealthy and respected on Figure Eight. 

You spotted your date, Topper Thornton, leisurely scrolling on his phone, his other hand in his pocket. He was waiting for you so that you two could walk down the glorious staircase into the party together. It was tradition for ladies to be escorted down the steps, which is exactly why your mother took finding an escort for you into her own hands. The stupid tradition made you gag. You didn’t need a pretty boy to escort you into a lame-ass party, and that’s why you were hiding from him.

With Topper’s gaze fixed on his phone, you took this opportunity to slip through the large room and onto the balcony, the party happening just down the stairs. With a sigh, you started your descent down the staircase, taking in the scene in front of you. There were pretty lights hung up around the huge tent covering the dining area. People were dressed to the nines, champagne flutes in hand as they giggled and chatted to one another. The live band played classy music while some couples danced, and staff members ran around serving drinks to the attendees. 

Casually walking down the last few steps, that’s when you noticed your parents watching you, and you grinned brightly at them. You knew ditching your date for the grand entrance would piss them off, which is mostly why you did it, and it was confirmed by the sour expressions on their faces.

“Mom. Dad. You guys look great!” you smiled. Your mother only scowled in response. 

“Y/N! What on earth are you doing? Where’s the Thornton boy?” She spoke through her perfect teeth clenched in a fake smile, trying not to draw attention from others. 

You shrugged. “I dunno. Great party though,” you said nonchalantly as your eyes wandered, obviously not bothered by the disappointing looks your parents were giving you. 

“You know your mother wanted you to walk in on a man’s arm,” your dad said. He was trying to console your mom by rubbing her back soothingly. She was not taking this well, her chest rising and falling rapidly in anger. She wanted to yell at you, but wouldn’t dare to make a scene with all of these people around. 

You rolled your eyes. “Why do I have to be escorted by some boy? That tradition is dumb, and sexist, quite frankly.” 

“Y/N, you’re embarrassing us!” your mom whisper-yelled. Her eyes were wide and her lips twisted in displeasure. She’s more pissed than you thought she’d be, and you smiled. “You couldn’t have done this one thing for us? Why can’t you go one night without embarrassing your family?”

“You’re being dramatic,” you sighed. You loved pushing their buttons. They have to figure out you don’t want to live in this Kook bubble for the rest of your life sooner or later. It sucks that they aren’t accepting of who you are and only want you to be their little Kook Princess, but that has never kept you down for long. 

“Don’t talk to your mother that way,” your dad warned in a low voice. You scoffed.

“Tell me why you ditched your date,” your mom whispered, the anger still apparent even with how quietly she spoke. 

“I ditched him because I already have a boyfriend, Mom.” You didn’t really have a boyfriend, but the lie rolled off your tongue easily. Lying to your parents was something you did quite often, and not just to get away with the stupid shit you do sometimes. It was fun to mess with them. They get so upset over silly things, especially your mom. 

A smirk found its way to your mother's face, and you knew she didn’t buy it. “Oh yeah? Then where is he?” You weren’t going to give her the satisfaction of catching you in your lie, especially if it meant she’d make you walk back up those damn steps just to retrieve Topper and do the whole entrance all over again. 

You were already disinterested in this conversation, but you couldn’t just walk away now. Your eyes wandered the party briefly, and that’s when you spotted a waiter heading in your direction. He didn’t seem too busy at the moment, no drinks or plates of food in hand, so the gears in your head started turning. Before you could even second guess your plan, you were stopping the boy’s strides by grabbing his hand and dragging him to the spot next to you in front of your parents.

“Right here,” you said. “Mom. Dad. Meet my boyfriend.” An innocent smile graced your lips as you stared at your parents, awaiting their reactions. You were happy to see surprise and displeasure taking over their features, and the blonde boy next to you looked just the same. You ignored him though and the way he turned to you with confusion dancing in his eyes. You didn’t even care if the stranger went along with it. Even if he walked off and this all blew up in your face, the shock on your mom’s face right now has already made it worth it. You found it all fucking hilarious.

Registering the silence and how nobody seemed to know what to do, you turned your smiling face towards the boy, squeezing his hand in yours and trying not to laugh at this whole situation. You finally noticed his beautiful blue eyes and the way they seemed to ask you what the hell is going on. You shot him a wink, and after quickly scanning your face, something in him seemed to change.

“Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N. It’s so great to finally meet you.” The boy had turned his attention back to your parents, and reached to shake your father’s hand. You couldn’t help the happiness that swelled up inside of you. He’s actually going along with your idiotic plan to piss your parents off even more.

Your other hand came up to rest on the boy’s bicep as you watched him shake your dad’s hand. Your dad couldn’t form words as he looked at the waiter you clung to. Your mom had plastered on one of her brilliant fake smiles after a few seconds, and nodded her head in acknowledgement. 

This was almost too good to be true. You didn’t know the boy standing next to you, but considering he was part of the staff, he had to be a Pogue. Your parents never allowed you to hang out with Pogues before, so you could only imagine their fury after learning you were dating one. You only caught a quick glance at the blonde, but you noticed the bruises on his face and the cut on his lip. You didn’t know his story, but you knew your parents only saw him as a trouble-making Pogue, and his beat up face only made it better. Not to mention you were in the middle of the biggest party of the year. Your parents wouldn’t dare do anything to make a scene, not here. Sure, you’d be getting an earful at home later, but you were already basking in the pleasure of seeing them so utterly angry and not being able to show it.

“And what’s your name, young man?” your dad asked. 

“JJ Maybank, sir.” You turned your gaze to the boy again, and he smiled charmingly at your parents. “I’ve heard lots about you both, from your lovely daughter here.” He suddenly turned to face you again, the same cute smile on his lips, and released your hand to instead wrap his arm around your waist. Fuck, he’s doing a great job at playing along even though you dragged him into this mess that he had no business being in. You were loving every second of this. 

The way your mom was struggling to keep her calm composure had laughter bubbling in your chest, but you kept your lips shut tight to hold it in. “JJ,” she said through clenched teeth. “Are you working the party?” As polite as she was trying to be, her distasteful glance at his work attire didn’t go unnoticed by anyone. 

JJ wasn’t disheartened by her question, and only smiled bigger. “Yes ma’am, I work at the Island Club for such events. I also deliver groceries and mow lawns. But don’t worry. I still make plenty of time to take Y/N out on dates and treat her like the princess she is.” You found his gaze once again, and you swear you could kiss him. He’s really milking this whole encounter with your parents and you promised yourself to thank him later. 

“Oh, that’s nice,” your dad responded for your mother. She was practically seething underneath that perfect mask of hers, but your father looked quite uncomfortable as well. And here you thought Midsummers would be boring. 

You listened in on the awkward conversation a few minutes more before you spoke up. “I’m glad you guys finally met, but we’re gonna go now. Enjoy the party!” You grinned one last time at your parents before grabbing JJ’s hand and dragging him away, leaving them to simmer in their shock and anger without you.

You had made it all the way to the other side of the dance floor before you burst out laughing. Giggles poured out of you loudly, and JJ couldn’t help but join in. You didn’t even care how awkward that whole situation was, you found it absolutely hilarious and you were happy to see that JJ seemed to think so too. “Thanks for playing along with that, man,” you smiled. “I totally owe you.”

JJ Maybank was confused to say the least. He caught on to your little plan and used his superb improv skills to play along, but he didn’t really know why. He’d never met you before, and couldn’t possibly figure out why you would claim him as your boyfriend. And though you two had never met, he knew exactly who you were. Everyone did. You were Y/N Y/L/N. Your parents were among the richest Kooks on the whole island, and you were their perfect Kook Princess. Why on earth would you ever tell them that he was your boyfriend? He was a low-life Pogue. None of it made any sense. 

He wanted to ask you for an explanation, but he was too caught up in the moment with you. He had never seen you up close before, and had to admit he found you intriguingly beautiful. Your eyes gleaming as your whole face lit up, your dress showing off your nice figure and complimenting you perfectly, even the giggles escaping your lips screamed beauty. He had his mind made up about you, thinking you’re no different than every other rich girl on the island, but now he’s not so sure. From the moment you abruptly grabbed his hand, he could tell you didn’t give a fuck about anything. You seemed fun.

“Do you always try to freak your parents out like that?” he asked with a laugh. 

You chuckled too with a nod. “Yeah. They’re too comfy in their dumb Kook lifestyle, so I like to scare them every once in a while.” You looked up at him with your pretty smile, and he could only smile back. Your words suddenly made him like being in your presence a whole lot more. 

He watched as you messed with your flower crown, the flowers getting caught in your hair as you unceremoniously pulled it off of your head. “Stupid fucking flower crown...” you mumbled before tossing it off to the side on the ground. JJ laughed at your messed up hair, but reached his hands up to fix it for you. You couldn’t care less about what you looked like, which he found odd about you, but you enjoyed the feeling of his fingers running through your hair, patting down the wild strands. 

You took this opportunity to really look at him. His blonde hair was messy and the locks fell over his forehead. The bruises marking his face did little to hide how attractive he was, the cut on his lip seemed to make him even more attractive to you. Even his work uniform was tattered and wrinkled, but he still managed to look good in it. He finished messing with your hair and tucked a strand behind your ear, eyes meeting yours, and neither of you could hide your curious smiles. “Thanks,” you hummed. He only nodded in response.

Your eyes wandered as you tried to figure out what to say, but you caught sight of Topper bounding down the staircase, his gaze searching through the party, probably for you. “Shit,” you muttered under your breath, grabbing JJ’s shoulders and positioning him in front of you. You stepped closer to him as you peaked your head over his shoulder to keep your eyes on the Kook you ditched.

“Hiding from someone?” JJ asked, looking down at you with amusement. 

You nodded. “Just the guy my parents tried to set me up with. I may or may not have ditched him,” you laughed sheepishly. Maybe you should’ve felt bad, but you didn’t.

JJ spared a glance over his shoulder. “Which one of these unlucky bastards was it?” 

You giggled, still trying to hide your frame completely behind JJ. “Topper Thornton. Frosted Tips. Looks like a lost puppy.”

JJ laughed and you could practically feel the warm vibrations from his chest. His pretty eyes met yours again, and he surprised you by wrapping his arm around your waist while his other hand found yours, bringing the pair of you into a waltz position. A smile tugged on your lips as you placed your other hand on his broad shoulder, and you both began to sway. 

JJ never pictured himself in this position before. Slow dancing with you, the Kook Princess of all people, at the Kookiest party of the year no less. He felt a strange sense of pride knowing that you had ditched Topper and are instead dancing with him. Being this close to you, he found himself trying to memorize your features, the color of your eyes, the softness of your hand in his, and the enticing curve of your waist which he had the pleasure of holding onto. 

“So,” JJ spoke softly. “What do you normally do when you’re not attending fancy parties and pissing off your parents?” He didn’t know why, but he wanted to find out more about you. You’re already quite different than what he made you out to be.

“Getting into more trouble,” you responded with a wink. 

He chuckled. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

You shrugged. “Last month, I ran off to Cuba for a week without telling anyone.” You didn’t think it was a big deal, but you noticed the waves of surprise in JJ’s eyes. You giggled at his expression. “What about you? When you’re not serving drinks, delivering groceries, or mowing lawns,” you paused to admire the bruises on his face. “What do you do?”

“Get into trouble,” he laughed, shooting your words back at you. 

You played along. “Oh yeah? Like what?” You don’t know when it happened, but you realized now that you guys were closer than before. Your chest was pressed into his, and his face was so close you could kiss him with the slightest lift onto your toes. 

“Picking fights with your Kooky friends, usually,” he chuckled. 

“If you’re referring to Topper and his goons, we’re not friends.” JJ’s lips lifted into a small smile at your words. If he wasn’t mistaken, you were about as fond of those assholes as he was. 

You both were just staring at each other, choosing to put the small talk to rest and just enjoy the moment. JJ’s eyes never left yours as you brought both of your arms around his neck, leaving him to wrap his arms around your back, diminishing any space there was between your bodies. You thought he might’ve kissed you with the way his gaze flickered between your eyes and your lips, but he didn’t. Instead, his hands found yours and he spun you around so that your back was against him, your arms crossed over your body as you continued to sway. 

His lips hovered over your neck briefly, and you released a sigh, trying to remember the last time you felt so close to someone, so content and in the moment. Something about the boy holding you in his arms gave you butterflies, that warm and exciting feeling spreading through your veins. He suddenly released one of your hands and pushed you so that you were spinning away from him, but then caught you and pulled you back.

You giggled as he twirled you around the dance floor, pleasantly surprised at how good of a dancer he was. Staying hidden from Topper wasn’t even on your mind anymore. With his grip on both of your hands, you both spun around, making the other dancing patrons have to move out of the way. Your laugh bubbled louder, and you couldn’t care less about the other guests. JJ found himself laughing along with you, even though part of him still wondered why he was here, dancing and having fun with you. 

After a moment, he pulled you back against him and you both fought to catch your breaths while the laughter died down. He admired your features again, and the question he’s been dying to ask finally escaped passed his lips. “How come you’re not embarrassed to be seen with me?” He didn’t mean it to sound so insecure, he was rather genuinely curious.

Your brows furrowed slightly in confusion, your grin turning into a frown. “Why would I be embarrassed?”

He scoffed lightly. “Come on, Y/N. We’re from two different worlds.” His eyes wandered for a second, noticing the amount of eyes on the two of you, probably floored at the scene you guys had just made. “Everyone is watching. The Kook Princess dancing with a Pogue...” He didn’t mean to bring down the mood, but he couldn’t help it. He was used to being dismissed, used to being viewed as a disgusting Pogue that only got into trouble. 

You brought your hands up to brush his hair away from his face, your bright smile returning. Your hands then cupped his cheeks, your thumb gently brushing over his split lip. “I don’t give a fuck about these people.” JJ chuckled, feeling his spirits lift once again. Your fingers dragged down his neck and landed on his collar, which you straightened for him. 

“You know,” you started, eyes fixed on the buttons of his white shirt. “I expected tonight to be the absolute worst, but I’m actually having an amazing time.” You peered up at him through your lashes, and JJ smiled. 

“Oh yeah?” he smirked, his usual flirty persona returning. “And why is that?”

You giggled, deciding to humor him. “I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my handsome fake boyfriend has some damn good dance moves,” you winked. Your chest became warm at the sound of JJ’s deep chuckle, his breath fanning over your face.

Among the many judgy looks the pair of you were getting, your parents were also watching from a nearby table. JJ noticed their burning glares, and an idea popped into his head. Gazing into your pretty eyes, he smirked with a nod of his head to the side. When you glanced over and was greeted with the sight of your very angry parents, a grin creeped onto your face. You were making quite the spectacle, but really, who cares? “Want to give them something to be really pissed about?” JJ asked.

You looked at him curiously, but nodded nonetheless. You were already thrilled with how the night was going, and wondered what else he could possibly have up his sleeve. He leaned forward and suddenly, his lips were on yours. Your surprise was soon washed away and you allowed yourself to melt into the kiss, arching your back to press your chest into him. 

His hand rested on the back of your neck, pulling you in even closer as you both indulged in one another. His other large hand squeezed your hip, and you squealed softly against his lips. After a few more seconds, you pulled away from each other, gleaming smiles on your faces. Yeah, that sure made your parents fucking livid. Your mother had excused herself from the table they were sitting at, and your father followed after her, but you weren’t paying attention to them. 

JJ had rested his palms on your cheeks, just looking at you, and he knew then that he wouldn’t be able to get you off of his mind no matter how hard he tried. Your hands gripped his wrists, and you felt sad for a moment, thinking about how JJ probably needs to get back to work. He needs to get back to his life, and you need to get back to yours. “I’ll see you around, JJ?” You held your breath, hoping that this wouldn’t be the last time you saw him.

He kissed you once more, short and sweet, before pulling away again with a smirk. “Definitely.” And with that, he made his way back through the party and into the building while you watched, not being able to hide your giddy grin.

***

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