#maybe mousse for chocolate mousse? idk

[plushie-lovey]

I've been looking at jellycat's website because I'm interested in getting another plush from them, and I think this time I'd like to get an onyx dragon

[alewritesfics]

Shadows of us

Pairing: Modern!Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader

Word count: 3.7k

Warning: unedited, mention of sex, idk what else

Masterlist

The first time you met Anthony Bridgerton was at a charity gala. The event was suffocating—an extravagant show of wealth and power where you felt like you didn’t belong. You’d only gone because your best friend insisted, claiming it would be a good place to make connections. You hadn’t expected that connection to be Anthony.

He found you lingering by the bar, drinking a glass of champagne and trying to avoid eye contact with the socialites surrounding you, when he approached.

“You don’t seem like you want to be here,” he said smoothly, his deep voice somehow managing to drown out the chatter around you.

You raised an eyebrow, offering a small smile. “Was it that obvious?”

He chuckled, the sound low and warm. “To someone who feels the same way? Yes.”

The conversation flowed effortlessly after that. Anthony was charming in a way that didn’t feel forced. He was intelligent, funny, and far too handsome for his own good, as well as witty, and surprisingly down-to-earth for someone with his reputation. God, you already sound like a lovesick woman. By the end of the night, he asked for your number, and you, despite your better judgment and the warning bells ringing in the back of your mind, telling you that it was too good to be true and he would only end up breaking your heart, you gave it to him.

You knew who he was, a powerful CEO from a family of wealth and influence that dated back to the 1900s, old money. Was there even a person on earth who didn’t know who Anthony Bridgerton was?

One of the youngest CEO’s to exist at only 29 years old, as well as the youngest person ever to inherit his family’s company when his father died when he was 18. He was also considered one of the most eligible bachelors, considering he was as handsome as he was rich, meaning, a lot.

And you’d be stupid to turn him down.

The first few months with Anthony were intoxicating. He was attentive, passionate, and impossibly romantic. He whisked you away to exclusive restaurants, sent you flowers for no reason, and made you feel like the only woman in the world.

(And the sex was amazing but nobody needed to know that.)

But there were also rules.

Anthony never took you to public places where you might be photographed. He avoided introducing you to his family. Seriously! You both even came across his mother and brother, Colin, on a trip to Paris, and acted like you were his new secretary and you just brushed it off, thinking he wanted the relationship to be private, not wanting his family to smother him with questions.

The soft hum of conversation and the clinking of glasses filled the elegant Parisian restaurant, creating a warm and intimate atmosphere. You and Anthony sat at a secluded table by the window, the Eiffel Tower shimmering in the distance. The city of love had never felt more fitting. 

Anthony reached across the table, his fingers brushing against yours. “I’ve always wanted to bring you here,” he said, his voice low and filled with affection. “Paris suits you.” 

You smiled, feeling your cheeks warm. “How so?” 

“Because it’s beautiful, enchanting, and impossible to forget,” he replied smoothly, his thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand.  “Just like you” he grinned

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “That’s a line if I’ve ever heard one.” 

“Maybe,” he admitted. “But that doesn’t make it any less true.” 

Moments like this made everything feel worth it—the stolen kisses, the late-night rendezvous, the quiet moments where it was just the two of you. In Paris, the world seemed to shrink, leaving only the two of you in your little bubble of happiness. 

The waiter arrived with your desserts, a delicate crème brûlée for you and a rich chocolate mousse for Anthony. You picked up your spoon, ready to dive in, when Anthony suddenly stiffened in his seat. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked, noticing the change in his demeanor. 

His eyes darted to the entrance of the restaurant, his grip tightening on the tablecloth. “It’s… my mother and Colin.” 

You froze, your spoon hovering over your dessert. “What?” 

“They just walked in,” he said, his voice low and tense. He leaned forward, his expression urgent. “Y/n, they can’t know about us.” 

Your stomach twisted uncomfortably. “Anthony—” 

“Please,” he interrupted, his voice almost pleading. “Not here. Not now. Just… follow my lead, okay?”  you nodded, thinking that he just still wanted to keep the relationship private.

Before you could respond, Anthony stood abruptly, pulling his chair closer to yours so you were sitting side by side. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, leaning in as if he were pointing out something outside the window. 

You stiffened under his arm, your heart pounding in your chest. You hadn’t expected this. But as much as you hated it, you nodded, forcing a smile onto your face as if nothing was amiss. 

“Anthony!” Violet’s warm voice cut through the restaurant, and you turned to see her approaching with Colin in tow. She was radiant as always, her eyes lighting up when she spotted her eldest son. 

“Mother,” Anthony greeted her with a smile, though you could feel the tension radiating from him. “What a surprise. I didn’t know you and Colin would be stopping by Paris on your tour."

“It’s wonderful to see you,” she said, giving him a quick hug before turning her attention to you. “And who is this lovely young woman?” 

“This is Y/n,” Anthony said smoothly, his hand slipping from your shoulders to rest on the back of your chair. “A… friend of mine. We met through mutual acquaintances.” 

“A pleasure to meet you, Y/n,” Violet said warmly, extending her hand. 

“The pleasure is mine,” you replied, shaking her hand and forcing a polite smile. You’ve always dreamed of meeting your mother in law, dreaming of how sweet she would be. But now that you are, you just feel horrible.

Colin stepped forward, his boyish grin making you feel slightly at ease. “Anthony’s friends are usually dull business types, but you seem much more interesting.” 

“Colin,” Anthony warned, shooting his brother a sharp look. 

“What?” Colin said innocently, shrugging. “I’m just making an observation.” 

 Violet chuckled, patting Colin’s arm. “Oh, don’t mind him. He’s always been incorrigible.” She turned back to you with a curious smile. “So, Y/n, what brings you to Paris?” 

You hesitated, glancing at Anthony for guidance. 

“She’s here for work,” Anthony answered quickly, cutting in before you could speak. “We happened to cross paths and decided to catch up.” 

Your stomach sank at his words. Catch up? You weren’t just someone he was catching up with—you were supposed to be someone he loved. 

Violet nodded, seemingly satisfied with his explanation. “Well, it’s lovely to see Anthony with someone so charming. I do hope you’re enjoying Paris.” 

“I am,” you said, your smile feeling more forced by the second. 

After a few more pleasantries, Violet and Colin excused themselves, leaving you and Anthony alone once more. 

As soon as they were out of earshot, Anthony exhaled a shaky breath, leaning back in his chair. “That was close.” 

You stared at him, your chest tightening with a mix of anger and hurt. “Close? Is that all you have to say?” 

He frowned, his brow furrowing. “Y/n, what’s wrong?” 

“What’s wrong?” you repeated, your voice low and trembling with emotion. “I just had to pretend to be a random acquaintance in front of your mother and brother, and you’re asking me what’s wrong?” 

“Y/n, you know the situation,” he said, his tone defensive. “I can’t just tell them—” 

“Why not?” you interrupted, your voice rising slightly. “Why can’t you tell them? Why can’t you tell anyone? You said you wanted to keep it private but this is just excessive! Just tell me why.” 

“ It’s complicated,” he said, his tone firm. “You knew that when we started this.” 

You looked away, blinking back the tears threatening to form. “I didn’t know it would feel like this. Like I’m some dirty little secret you’re ashamed of.” 

“Y/n, that’s not fair,” he said, his voice softening. “You know I care about you.”

“Do you?” you asked, your voice cracking. “Because right now, it feels like I’m just a convenient distraction. Someone you're with just as a passing time.” 

Anthony reached for your hand, but you pulled it back, shaking your head. The atmosphere had shifted, the warmth of the evening replaced by an icy tension that left you questioning everything. 

The Eiffel Tower sparkled in the distance, but for the first time, it felt hollow—like a promise unfulfilled.

You later forgot that encounter, opting to ignore the signs, convincing yourself that he was just a very, very private man. But eventually, the truth came out.

It happened during a heated argument after you’d pressed him on why he was so secretive. Again.

“You want to know why?” he snapped, pacing the length of your small living room. His frustration was palpable, and it became harder and harder to hide the truth.

“Yes, Anthony! I deserve to know why you’re hiding me like some dirty little secret!” You exclaimed

He stopped pacing, running a hand through his hair before turning to face you. “Because I’m engaged.”

The words hit you like a physical blow. You stared at him, your mind struggling to process what he’d just said. “You’re… engaged?” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper, your heart beating faster.

“It’s not what you think,” he said quickly, stepping closer. “It’s an arrangement—an expectation from our families. It’s not about love.”

You took a step back, shaking your head. “And you didn’t think to tell me this before?”

“I didn’t want to lose you,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “Y/n, you’re the only thing in my life that feels real.”

He approached you “I don’t love her, baby” he grabbed your hands, looking you in the eyes, desperate. “please, believe me”

You swallowed, before you nodded. He sighed in relief, pulling you into a tight hug, burying his face on your hair, breathing in deeply.

Despite your better judgment, you stayed. You told yourself it was temporary, that he’d leave her for you eventually. But as days turned into weeks and then turned into months, the reality of your situation became harder to ignore.

The heavy silence In Anthony’s bedroom pressed against your chest, suffocating in its intensity. You stood by the window, staring out at the sprawling estate before you. Anthony’s ancestral home was beautiful—timeless in its elegance, the kind of place you could see yourself calling home one day. But that dream, like so many others, was slipping further and further out of reach.

You turned to face him, your heart pounding as the words you’d been rehearsing all day threatened to spill out. Anthony was seated on the edge of the bed, his sleeves rolled up, his tie undone, exuding a kind of effortless charm that had once made you feel special. Now, it only hurt.

“How much longer will this go on for?” you asked, your voice quiet but firm.

Anthony looked up at you, his brow furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

You gestured toward the bedside table, where a photo of Kate Sharma sat in a delicate silver frame. It was a picture of her smiling, radiant and confident. The kind of woman who belonged in this world. The kind of woman Anthony was expected to marry.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and met his gaze. “End it with her.”

His eyes softened with something you could only describe as regret, but he didn’t move. He sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. “Y/n… you know I can’t do that. It’s complicated.”

“Complicated?” you repeated, your voice rising despite your efforts to stay calm. “What’s so complicated about choosing the person you love? Or do you not love me?”

“You know I love you,” he said, standing up, his tone laced with frustration. “This isn’t about love. It’s about family, business—things that are bigger than you and me.”

“Bigger than us?” you echoed, taking a step closer to him. “Nothing should be bigger than us, Anthony. Not if you love me the way you say you do.”

He exhaled sharply, turning away from you. “It’s not that simple, Y/n.”

“It is that simple!” you snapped, the tears you’d been holding back finally spilling over. “You’re choosing her, Anthony. Every single day that you stay with her, you’re choosing her over me.”

He turned back to you, his expression pained. “I’m not choosing her. I’m trying to do what’s right for everyone.”

“What about what’s right for me?” you demanded, your voice breaking. “What about what’s right for you? Or are we just collateral damage in your quest to keep the company above everything else?” He didn’t respond, and the silence was deafening.

You took a shaky breath, your hands trembling as you wiped at your cheeks. “If you won’t leave her… then let me go.”

“No,” he said immediately, stepping closer to you. His voice was firm, almost panicked. “You’re not leaving me, Y/n. I can’t lose you.”

“You already have,” you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of your words.

“Don’t say that,” he pleaded, reaching for your hands. “Don’t do this.”

You pulled away from him, shaking your head. “I won’t be your mistress, Anthony. I can’t keep pretending that this is enough when it’s killing me inside.”

“You know how the situation is, you’ve known since we started whatever we’re doing” Anthony stated, his eyes flickering between yours desperately, looking for a sign that you’re lying, that you don’t want to leave him “Ever since we I told you the truth, I can’t help but feel like you’re trying to find every reason possible to leave me…..Are you tired of me now? You don’t love me anymore?”

You shook your head as you sniffled “I love you Anthony. I am completely in love with you but I can’t keep on hurting myself anymore” you pulled your hands out of his, you swallowed the lump forming in your throat, your tears threatening to spill over. “I can’t do this anymore, Anthony. I love you. But I can’t, and I won’t, keep on waiting for you to love me back.”

“You want to know why I’m leaving?” you asked, your voice trembling. “It’s not because I don’t love you. God, Anthony, I love you so much it hurts. But I can’t keep breaking my own heart waiting for you to love me back the way I need you to -”

“I do!” Anthony cut you off “I do love you, I do need you. I need you more than anything”

“Then why won’t you leave her?” you cried. “Why didn’t you introduce me to your family when we ran into them in Paris? Why do you keep hiding me?” Anthony didn’t answer but his silence was louder than any words he could have spoken.

“It’s over, Anthony” you sniffled as you wiped your eyes “ I can’t bear to stand in the sidelines and watch as you form a family with her, as you love her-“

Anthony’s head snapped up, panic flashing in his eyes. “Y/n—”

You shook your head, stepping back from him. “It’s over, Anthony. I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

His hand shot out to grab yours, holding on tightly as if he could stop you from leaving. “Please, don’t do this. I’ll fix it. I’ll figure something out.”

“You had three years to figure it out,” you said, your voice steady despite the tears streaming down your face. “And you didn’t.”

Anthony stayed silent

After a few moments of agonizing silence, you pursued your lips before sighing. Without waiting for a response, you pressed a trembling kiss to his cheek and walked out of the room.

 

The weeks that followed were some of the hardest of your life. Anthony called you incessantly, leaving voicemails that you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to. He even showed up at your apartment once, but you refused to let him in.

You tried to move on, throwing yourself into work and spending time with friends. But nothing could fill the void he’d left behind.

For Anthony, life was equally unbearable. The engagement with Kate continued, but his heart wasn’t in it. He couldn’t stop thinking about you—your laugh, your smile, the way you’d looked at him with tears in your eyes that night.

It was a rainy afternoon when you saw him again. You were tucked into the corner of your favorite café, a steaming cup of tea in front of you and a book open in your lap. The sound of the door chime barely registered until someone approached your table. 

“Y/n.” 

Your head snapped up, and there he was. Anthony. Soaked from the rain, his suit clinging to his broad frame, his hair disheveled in a way you’d never seen before. He looked… desperate. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked, your voice sharper than you intended, you sat up, closing your book and crossing your arms, as if to protect yourself from the inevitable heartbreak you know he will bring again

“I had to see you,” he said, his voice rough. He sank into the chair across from you before you could tell him to leave. 

You stiffened, your hands gripping the edge of your book. “Anthony, You shouldn’t be here.”  You looked away, knowing that if you looked at him any longer, you would cave in.

“I ended it,” he blurted out, leaning forward, his dark eyes locking onto yours. 

Your stomach dropped, but you forced yourself to stay calm. “What?” 

“I ended the engagement,” he repeated, his voice firmer this time. “It’s over. Kate and I are done.” 

You blinked, your mind struggling to process his words. “Why?” 

“Because I couldn’t marry her,” he said, his tone filled with conviction. “Not when my heart belongs to you.” 

A bitter laugh escaped your lips. You shook your head, leaning back in your chair. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“Y/n, I’m serious,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “I’ve thought of nothing else since you left. I can’t—I won’t lose you again.” 

“You already lost me, Anthony,” you shot back, your voice colder than you felt. “You made your choice when you stayed with her for three years. You don’t get to come here now and think a few words will fix this.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I mean it,” he said, desperation creeping into his tone. “I’ll beg if I have to.” 

You scoffed, looking away. “Begging won’t change what happened. Do you have any idea what you put me through? Do you know how many nights I stayed up wondering why I wasn’t enough for you? Why you always hid me from the world?” 

“You were always enough,” he said, his voice soft and raw. “You were more than enough, Y/n. I was the one who wasn’t enough. I was a coward.” 

You clenched your jaw, refusing to let the tears threatening to form fall. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to waltz in here, expecting me to forgive you just because you decided to grow a conscience.” 

“I don’t expect forgiveness,” he said, his voice trembling. “I just… I couldn’t let you think for one second that I didn’t love you. That I don’t love you.” You froze, his words cutting through your defenses like a knife. 

“I love you, Y/n,” he continued. “I’ve loved you from the moment I met you, I’ve loved you ever since I saw you in that beautiful navy blue dress at the gala. I’ve loved you ever since you told me your name. I’ve loved you ever since I first kissed you underneath the moon on that rainy night, and I will spend every day proving it to you if you’ll let me. Please, just give me a chance to make this right.” 

You looked away, your heart hammering in your chest. You wanted to believe him, to let yourself hope, but the memory of the pain he caused was too fresh. 

“Why now?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “Why did it take losing me for you to finally do the right thing?” 

“Because I was an idiot,” he admitted, his hands gripping the edge of the table as if he were holding on for dear life. “I thought I could have both— I don’t mean that I’ve ever loved Kate, I just– I thought I could keep you without giving up everything else. Have you and evolve my company. But when you walked out that door, I realized nothing else mattered. Not the company, not my family’s expectations, nothing. None of it means anything without you.” 

Your breath hitched, but you forced yourself to stay firm. “Words aren’t enough, Anthony. You hurt me.” 

“I know,” he said, his voice cracking. “And I will never forgive myself for that. But I can’t let you go without trying. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust again. Anything.” 

You stared at him, your walls cracking under the weight of his sincerity. For the first time, you saw the man beneath the polished exterior—the man who was terrified of losing you, who was willing to fight for you. 

“I don’t know if I can trust you again,” you said honestly, your voice trembling. 

“Then let me show you,” he said, leaning forward, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “Please, Y/n. Let me prove to you that I’m worth the risk.” 

You hesitated, your heart and mind warring with each other. Finally, you let out a shaky breath. “This is your last chance, Anthony. If you hurt me again, I’m gone for good.” 

Relief washed over his face, and he reached across the table to take your hand. “I won’t hurt you again. I swear it.” 

You let him hold your hand, the warmth of his touch sending a jolt through you. Deep down, you wanted to believe him. Maybe, just maybe, this time would be different. 

 

[seancamerons]

9 people you’d like to know better

Three Ships:  sean & emma (degrassi) ryan & marissa (the oc) steve & nancy (stranger things) i got a lot of ships.

First ever ship: idk i think i shipped justin x britney irl when i was like 10, no i don't really count that. i do count steve & dj from full house, harvey & sabrina from sabrina the teenage witch, & cory & topanga from boy meets world. not sure what my first ever was. I'm sure it was doug and patti mayonnaise as a kid i loved them and remember wanting them to eventually go on a date at their burger spot. semma was the first ship when i found out what shipping was, but i'd been shipping long before i knew what that was.

Last song: random christmas songs on the radio, the last one i heard was the ronette's rendition of sleigh ride.

Last film: last night i watched deck the halls with my boyfriend.

Currently reading: fanfiction tbh, but i do have books i got to get through sometime. I'm really gonna try to finish memoir the woman in me by britney spears.

Currently watching: idk this maury-esque show on tv rn on my day off, last vacay day. It is like drama and a bad kids story about how like this kid is going to learn to grow up her name is heaven.

Currently consuming: wawa sugar free salted carmel iced coffee!!

Currently craving: a fajita from plaza azteca, maybe a fresh mojito or marg and the fajita has to have it with all the fixins, and for dessert a rich mousse or a rich dense chocolate cake mm!🥰

tagged by @mollyhale 💌✨ tysm! tagging @winnie-the-monster @zayadriancas @maya-matlin @lovelyxlilis @hydesjackiespuddinpop @thatcatangelwriter @reinhartroleplays @seancameronism @lindseycool88 @sansalicents @marthaskane @btvs @charlieconwayy @userbettycooper @tomsgreg @emmanelson

[servuscallidus]

Finished Il conte di Montecristo 1966 yesterday. Some points:

Albert is too cute but it's obvious this is the actor's first role and he's not very good in dramatic moments. Still, very enjoyable, a good face for Albert

He's at least a head shorter than every man on screen, at all times. This is how I'll forever imagine Albert now

He was very good in the duel scene though. You could see him swallowing his pride

Not happy with the casting choice for Mercedes, doesn't feel like her at all, too wane, but the actress is good and her interactions with Edmond are so painful

Very good the scene where she tries to call the duel off

They gave the count the Beard of Evil because frankly Giordana's face is too clean and delicate, plus fashion changes and of course he doesn't want to be recognised. But he looks bad! It doesn't suit him!

The man is a beanpole btw

Every version of Albert is smitten with him and can't get close enough to him.

There is a scene where it sounds like the count is proposing him to fuck (cosa desidera fare mentre prende il caffè? I'm paraphrasing)

Eugenie has something like three lines, a weird, high pitched voice (sorry), but the actress was a singer and they have her sing and wow she's good

Btw one of her three lines kinda made me like her anyway. The moment Danglar explains to her that he wants her to marry for the money, she immediately negotiates for herself a hell of an allowance

Villefort going mad was excellent, and so were his interactions with his father

There are some weird camera choices, such as a lot of focusing on the eyes while the actor speaks, people talking directly to the camera while in the middle of a dialogue, and getting very up and close with it

They do this A Lot

A few times they focused on the mouth, again for no particularly good reason

There is a scene where Hydee is playing some sort of violin and the actress clearly has no idea what she's doing

They could have cut Franz out and it wouldn't have changed anything. Frankly I'm not sure why he was even there, except to insist on his marriage with Valentine

He doesn't even say he loves her or anything, he just sounds a bit bummed out that she doesn't want him

He never interacts with the count ever :( and he's clearly much older that everyone else

Beauchamp was very nice instead and very close to Albert

At a certain point the count says that he never meant for his revenge to hurt the kids, which, what? He's ruining their families, how are they supposed to be kept safe from the fallout

Plus he totally meant to kill Albert in the book and there's even a scene where we see him practice his shooting from 5, 10 and then 20 steps, like in a duel, and never miss, which I thought had something to do with that but apparently not?

When the count is in his abate character he speaks with a high pitched, kinda scratchy voice and it's hilarious

The interactions between Caderousse and Benedetto are surprisingly funny

Caderousse was surprisingly funny

In the first episode there's an appearance from the kinds, more preoccupied with some chocolate mousse than with the chance of Napoleon escaping and ignoring a very frustrating Villefort

I can't remember if it happens in the book, I don't think so, but it's very funny and the king is kinda limp wristed. But maybe it's just because he's nobility idk

Every cut scene from the book that was a secondary plot point or a set up is narrated to the viewer through people gossiping at parties

There are a lot of parties and people dancing. It's very enjoyable

[jazzy-art-time]

Idk if its too late to manifest but Toffee and Mousse could do a little smooch, itd be cute. Maybe as friends maybe as more who knows, cute goocremies unite (lips)

Of course I'll draw them together you could be five years late and I would still drop everything to draw them Who doesn't like chocolate covered strawberries? (many people prolly but its cute ITS A CUTE SAYING CONSIDERING THEY ARE STRAWBEBEBBEBE ADN CHCOOCLATE)

[seasnailfish]

some wafer headcannons because i need to feed my wafer brainworms

he bakes to relieve stress, since i also headcannon that he's got anger issues and all he decided that maybe baking would help since he has a genuine interest towards making pastries. nowadays he bakes because it became his hobby, his favorite dessert to make is tarts and cookies (like the ones seen in toy takeover)

he sees bunny as his son/daughter while hayes.... heh let's just say..... gay gay homosexual gay....

i don't know if i wanna share this but he likes to wear dresses, especially the ones with lace. actually half of my wafer doodles are mostly him wearing a dress or something, i just like seeing him wear dresses ^_^

although he seems easily irritated, stubborn and has an rbf, he's actually pretty nice to be around with.

bunny easily annoys and teases him a lot but as time passes wafer doesn't seem to mind

hayes likes wafers presence and feels super comfortable around him, even his crows feel comfortable around him too which makes wafer a bit uneasy since the only crow that's allowed to be near him is hayes WHO SAID THAT???

whenever halloween ends he barges through hayes' door and puts his hands on his hips and says “halloween over!!!”

he likes making hot chocolate to the suprise of nobody

if he was an animal crossing villager he'd probably have the classic set

since we're in the topic of animal crossing, he'd probably be a snooty villager, i think he would be a deer

his favorite cake is chocolate mousse

everytime i see a clothing that has lace i immediately think of wafer, im sorry yall he genuinely looks like he would wear lacy clothes or maybe frilly stuff idk

actually maybe he would like ribbons or bows too. guys im going insane just over the thought of him wearing ribbons like it actually fits him

he's sometimes bedridden, another headcannon is that his back hurts so bad he has to lay in bed for who knows how long. ofc hayes and bunny are there to help him 😁

he hates summer even though he has the freedom of wearing sundresses and tank tops

he's genderfluid and bisexual (british and bisxual?? damn pick a struggle) (im kidding he isn't british)

uses he/she/fae pronouns

he tried growing out his hair just for fun once

whenever he's lazy to get his hair cut he just ties it into a ponytail

he likes putting on makeup for fun but ho doesn't do it that often anymore, it's a pain removing it at night especially if he's not in the mood for it

he likes putting on lip gloss though, one of his favorite makeup products (i feel like im projecting at this point lmao)

he still likes making snowmen because he likes men I MEAN UMM... WHO SAID THAT

if hayes is a crow and bunny is a bunny then wafer is most likely a deer

he has reading glasses that are colored red

he has eaten 10 chocolate croissants in under a minute

he hates mistletoes

ok ummm yeah that's it goodnight the wafer worms are satisfied (i might add more in the future)

[ashtraybug]

june 9, 2024

fasted: 16h

intake: 1550

sushi buffet (750)

crab rangoon (200)

oreo chocolate mousse cake (100)

fruit salad (50)

goldfish sour cream & onion (450)

super highly overestimating my intake today because i honestly have no idea how much i ate at the buffet and i’d rather estimate high than estimate low. idk why it’s been so hard for me to stay under 1400 calories recently; it might be because i got so used to eating 2000+ cals every day and now cutting back is hard? idk. i’m starting back up at the gym tomorrow and im excited to actually get some exercise that isn’t just running around a restaurant for 10 hrs a day. i’m also working every single day this week so hoping that that can keep me on track and prevent me from eating out so much.

we walked around a lot today because i wanted to shop, thinking i got around 12k steps today but not sure because i never have my phone on me to actually track my steps. most days it says i got like 600 steps which is not true so maybe getting an apple watch or something will help with that? but i know it’s based on motion and im carrying things around usually so putting it on my ankle would be the best but im worried it would look like an ankle monitor lol.

bought some storage for some of my clothes so im thinking that having a tidier living space will take some stress away and i’ll be able to exist in peace instead of constant chaos.

i think i’m gonna pick journaling back up again. having a space for me to be able to brain dump that’s not a phone screen might be good for me.

still trying to save up for that macbook, but i think im gonna get an apple watch before then. it’ll help with the gym too since none of my shorts have pockets in them.

pray that i actually lose something y’all, im going insane not being able to weigh myself every day. there’s a manual scale at the gym but i’ll be sweaty and full of water and food from eating in the daytime and i’ll have my clothes on which isn’t ideal. some of my clothes are already sitting kind of looser which is crazy since i haven’t been restricting or anything. but it might be the lack of bloating. idk.

i might stop getting my birth control shots because a major side effect is weight gain/plateau. my bf can deal.

[flirting-with-psychology]

Stayed single almost the whole year? 2015: You fucking know it

2016: Same

2017: Almost

2018: Almost, no official relationships or anything

2019: I was taken for most of the year!

2020: Nope! I had a boyfriend the whole year :)

2021: No, had a boyfriend the whole year!

2022: No, I had a boyfriend all year!

2023: Nope!

Were involved In something you’ll never forget? 2015: Yeah

2016: Yeah, band

2017: My film class

2018: Yeah, Macy’s and the film stuff I did and my house

2019: The B Flat

2020: My relationship, other than that this year was uneventful

2021: Some of the films

2022: Good Night Oppy

2023: My friend group

Tripped over a coffee table? 2015: Most likely

2016: I can’t recall but probably

2017: There’s like a 98% chance I did

2018: Definitely

2019: Yup, and all the tables at work

2020: Hit my toe on a table leg and it hurt for weeks

2021: Probably

2022: I did not have a coffee table otherwise I would have

2023: No, I didn't have a coffee table

Dyed your hair? 2015: No

2016: No

2017: No

2018: No but planning on it

2019: Kinda but it didn’t really take

2020: No

2021: No

2022: Yes! My friend helped me dye it a red ombre

2023: I think I redid the red ombre a couple times

Came close to losing your life? 2015: No

2016: A car cut me off at a crosswalk so maybe

2017: Probably not

2018: No

2019: No

2020: Not unless I was exposed to covid

2021: Probably not

2022: Not that I know of

2023: No

Saw one of your favorite bands/artists live? 2015: No

2016: No

2017: No

2018: No

2019: I saw some musicals live

2020: No

2021: No

2022: Idk if I’d say they were my favorites, but I saw AJR and Panic! At the Disco

2023: Yes! I saw Taylor Swift

2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23: FRIENDS & ENEMIES…

Did you meet any new friends this year? 2015: Yeah I did, and I got closer to old friends

2016: Yeah

2017: Yeah

2018: Yeah

2019: A couple

2020: I met some friends online in an Among Us group

2021: A couple, and I met the among us group in person

2022: Dunno if I met any this year but I definitely became better friends with my DnD groups and some people at work

2023: I met a couple in my dnd group

Did you hate anyone? 2015: Not really hate, but dislike

2016: Same

2017: Yeah kinda

2018: I really didn’t like a coworker (but now we are friends) and a friend’s girlfriend (who I still don’t like)

2019: Not actively

2020: I hate Trump and Mitch McConnell

2021: Idk

2022: Not personally

2023: Not really

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships? 2015: I wish I could have found roommates

2016: I wish I had gotten closer to people on my study abroad. But my roommate was nice and I still talk to her every so often, so that’s cool. A note on last year, I’m glad I didn’t end up living with the friends I was thinking about living with because their apartment got condemned and they had to move to a suburb and commute to school, then one got a girlfriend and moved out and the other one is with her boyfriend a lot so I would have been stuck all by myself out in the middle of nowhere

2017: I kind of regret not getting closer to my roommates

2018: I regret that I don’t value some of them as much as I should

2019: Not spending more time with them once I got a boyfriend. I swore I wouldn’t be that person who ditches their friends once they get into a relationship

2020: I wish it hadn’t gone to shit in my house because of covid

2021: Maybe not hanging out and keeping in touch enough

2022: Maybe not taking full advantage of friendships because I’m awkward

2023: Not getting as close to my friends as they got to each other

Did you miss any friends? 2015: A little

2016: A little

2017: A little

2018: A little

2019: Yes but it turned out she was just out of the country

2020: I miss all my friends

2021: Yes

2022: A little

2023: Yeah

2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23: YOUR BIRTHDAY…

Did you have a cake? 2015: It had a piece of cake

2016: No, I had IHOP

2017: No, I had pancakes

2018: No, I had chocolate mousse

2019: Yes

2020: Bundt cake

2021: No, I had chocolate fondue

2022: No, I had chocolate fondue

2023: No, I had wine-soaked pears

Did you have a party? 2015: No, I went to Vegas

2016: No, I went to brunch with my parents then played in my last home football game as part of the band

2017: Kinda, we did an escape room and then went to dinner

2018: No, just a couple of friends out to dinner

2019: We went to an escape room a couple weeks later because my actual birthday got snowed out

2020: No because of covid

2021: No, I was visiting my boyfriend’s family for thanksgiving

2022: No, I went to see a musical with my mom and then dinner with my boyfriend

2023: I had a murder mystery dinner party with my friends

Did you get any presents? 2015: Yeah

2016: Yeah, and a win

2017: Yeah

2018: Yeah a few

2019: Yeah

2020: Yeah

2021: Yeah

2022: Yeah

2023: Yeah

2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23: ALL ABOUT YOU…

Did you change at all this year? 2015: I believe so

2016: I’m sure I did

2017: I’m sure I will always change

2018: Yes but not as much as I had hoped or in the ways I wanted

2019: Probably a little

2020: I got worse

2021: Yeah I think so

2022: Yeah, worried less about covid and put myself out there more

2023: Not that much

Were you in school? 2015: Yes

2016: Yes

2017: For part of the year but then I gruaduated

2018: No

2019: No

2020: No

2021: No

2022: No

2023: No

Did you own a car? 2015: No

2016: No

2017: No

2018: No

2019: No

2020: I bought a car in September!

2021: Yes :)

2022: Yes!

2023: Yes

Did anyone close to you give birth? 2015: No

2016: Not really close, but my mom’s ex-boyfriend’s daughter did

2017: No

2018: No but I’m starting to be friends with people who have kids

2019: No

2020: No

2021: No

2022: No

2023: No

Did you go on any vacations? 2015: Yeah, I went on 2 road trips and I think a couple others

2016: I studied abroad in Italy and went on 2 away trips with the band, and about to go on a third

2017: I went to London, New Orleans, and Wyoming for the eclipse

2018: I went to Las Vegas for a film shoot

2019: I went to Israel and a few smaller trips

2020: I went to Harry Potter World with my boyfriend

2021: A small one

2022: I made up for lost time and went to visit my boyfriend’s family in Chicago, friends in St. Louis, my cousin’s wedding in California, my aunts in New York

2023: I went to Vegas, New Jersey, and Chicago

2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23: WRAP UP…

Was 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23 a good year? 2015: It was better than 2014

2016: Not as good as I hoped, but some things were good. The football team had a really good year

2017: It was pretty good. The football team did not have as good a year

2018: Overall I think so

2019: It was alright

2020: No

2021: Not really but it was a little better than last year

2022: It was pretty good

2023: It was pretty good

Do you think 2016/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24 will top 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23? 2015: I hope so

2016: I hope so

2017: I’m not sure, but I hope so

2018: I hope so, I kind of have a good feeling about it

2019: I hope so

2020: God I fucking hope so

2021: If it doesn’t I don’t know what I’d do

2022: I hope so, hopefully there won’t be some new bullshit

2023: I'm not sure

IN THE YEAR 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23 I CONFESS THAT I…

Kissed in the snow? 2015: No

2016: Still no

2017: No, but there’s still time

2018: No

2019: Yep!

2020: I can’t remember

2021: Maybe?

2022: Don’t think so

2023: Not sure

Done something you’ve regretted? 2015: Slightly

2016: Some things, but nothing big

2017: Probably

2018: Yes

2019: Probably

2020: Nothing major

2021: Nothing major

2022: Probably a bit

2023: A little, I've said a couple things I regret

Painted a picture? 2015: Yes, with watercolors with some girls in my hall

2016: I can’t recall

2017: No

2018: No

2019: Yes, with wax

2020: Don’t think so

2021: No, but I have painted some minis

2022: No

2023: No

Wrote a poem? 2015: Yes

2016: Yes. Only one or two though, not nearly as much as I used to

2017: I don’t think so actually

2018: I don’t think so

2019: No

2020: Don’t think so

2021: No

2022: No

2023: No, I haven't done that so much lately

Ran a mile? 2015: Nope

2016: I probably did cumulatively, in all of 2016, run a total of at least a mile. But not on its own, no

2017: Maybe on the elliptical

2018: On the elliptical

2019: On the elliptical probably

2020: No

2021: I think I actually did one time on the elliptical

2022: On the ellliptical

2023: Maybe on the elliptical

Visited a foreign country? 2015: No

2016: Yes, Italy

2017: Yes, England and France

2018: No

2019: Yes, Israel

2020: No

2021: No

2022: No

2023: No

Cut in a line of waiting people? 2015: Probably by accident

2016: Probably

2017: Probably

2018: Probably

2019: Maybe

2020: Don’t think so

2021: Dunno

2022: I probably cut a bunch of people in the Taylor Swift ticketmaster queue

2023: Not on purpose

IN 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23 I…

Broke a promise? 2015: Probably

2016: Probably

2017: Probably

2018: Probably

2019: Probably

2020: I’m sure I did

2021: Probably

2022: Probably

2023: Probably, but nothing big

Lied? 2015: Probably

2016: Probably

2017: Yes

2018: Yes, but just little white lies

2019: Yes

2020: Maybe just little white lies

2021: Yes

2022: Probably

2023: Probably just little white lies

Disappointed someone close? 2015: Probably, I know I disappointed my parents a couple times

2016: Probably

2017: I know I disappointed my parents a couple times

2018: Probably

2019: Probably my boyfriend a few times

2020: I’m sure I did

2021: I know I disappointed my dad

2022: Probably disappointed my boyfriend

2023: Yes

Had a secret? 2015: Not really

2016: A couple

2017: Not really

2018: Maybe kinda

2019: Not anything big reallyy

2020: Not really

2021: A little

2022: Yeah a bit

2023: Not really

Pretended to be happy? 2015: Yes

2016: Sometimes

2017: Sometimes

2018: Yes, when I needed to

2019: Sometimes

2020: Occasionally, but didn’t really try

2021: Sometimes

2022: Sometimes

2023: Sometimes

Slept under the stars? 2015: In a tent

2016: Don’t think so

2017: In a tent

2018: No

2019: In a tent community

2020: No

2021: No and I have no idea what I was talking about in 2019

2022: No

2023: No

Kept your new year’s resolution? 2015: Some of them

2016: Probably a few of them

2017: Probably some

2018: I don’t even remember what they were

2019: Some of them

2020: A few of them

2021: Some of them

2022: Some of them probably

2023: Some of them

Forgot your new year’s resolution? 2015: I wrote them down

2016: Yes

2017: Yep

2018: Did I even make one?

2019: I wrote them down

2020: I wrote them down

2021: Yeah

2022: I wrote them down but never looked at them again

2023: I wrote them down

Met someone who changed your life? 2015: Yes

2016: Probably

2017: Yes

2018: I’m sure I did

2019: Didn’t meet him this year but he has

2020: Not that I know of

2021: No one who has changed it yet

2022: Maybe

2023: Not that I know of, but maybe in the future

Changed your outlook on life? 2015: I believe so

2016: Maybe for the worse. Hopefully I’ll get over that

2017: Maybe

2018: Idk

2019: Not really

2020: I think I got disenfranchised with capitalism and feared death more

2021: Starting to change my balance of risk vs reward

2022: Got a lot more relaxed about covid

2023: Not really

Sat home all day doing nothing? 2015: Yup

2016: Yup

2017: I’m sure I did

2018: Probably but not enough

2019: Yup

2020: Like most days

2021: Yeah

2022: Yup

2023: Yup

Learned something new about yourself? 2015: Yes

2016: Probably

2017: Maybe

2018: Maybe

2019: I learned what I’m like in a relationship

2020: Probably

2021: Idk

2022: Sorta

2023: Not really

Met great people? 2015: Yeah!

2016: Yep!

2017: Yep!

2018: Yep!

2019: I think so, I honestly can’t remember who I met when

2020: Didn’t meet a ton of people

2021: A couple

2022: Got closer with some people

2023: Didn't meet a ton of people

Kissed someone that means a lot to you? 2015: Yes, unfortunately I don’t mean a lot to him anymore. Not even sure if I did then

2016: No. I mean, I kissed one of my friends drunkenly, an she means a lot to me as a friend, but no one romantically

2017: I’m not sure yet how much he means to me. But we are dating

2018: Yes, but so far I’m not sure whether he means a lot to me as a friend or as a romantic interest

2019: Yes!

2020: Yes :)

2021: Yes

2022: Yes

2023: Yes

Stayed up till sunrise? 2015: Yes

2016: Yes

2017: Yes, on my film project. I couldn’t even see the sunrise, I just walked outside and it was daytime

2018: Yes on a film shoot

2019: Probably

2020: Yes

2021: Yes, and always felt like I failed when I did

2022: I actually don’t know if I did

2023: I don't think I did actually

Cried over the silliest thing? 2015: I’m sure I did when I was PMSing

2016: Yes

2017: Yes

2018: Yes

2019: Too often

2020: Yes

2021: Yes

2022: Yes

2023: Yes

Had friends who were drifting away from you? 2015: Yes

2016: Yes

2017: Yes

2018: Yeah Kylie kind of did

2019: Kylie and Shaina

2020: Yes, especially my roommates

2021: Yeah unfortunately

2022: Yeah a little

2023: Yeah it kinda feels like my friends are getting closer with each other than they are with me

Had a high cell phone bill? 2015: Not too bad

2016: It increased a bit, but my parents pay most of it

2017: It decreased because the phone itself got paid off

2018: Lol I still have to pay that

2019: I think it’s the same

2020: No, I don’t remember if I even paid my dad

2021: Not really but I got a new phone

2022: Yeah, I always have to pay for an extra gb each month

2023: I think I just paid my dad a lump sum

Spent most of your money on food? 2015: Quite a bit

2016: That and clothes I don’t need

2017: No, rent

2018: No, rent and shit from Macy’s

2019: Not most of it

2020: Mostly rent

2021: No, mostly dnd stuff

2022: No, mostly DnD stuff and crafts

2023: No, mostly random stuff and tickets

Had a fist fight? 2015: No

2016: No

2017: No

2018: No

2019: No

2020: No

2021: No

2022: No

2023: No

Gotten sick? 2015: Yeah for like half this entire semester. Also got shingles over the summer

2016: Still dealing with my immune system’s decision to just fucking walk out

2017: yes, but not so much now that I’m not in school

2018: Yes, I had a cough that lasted 2 months

2019: I had the stomach flu

2020: I think I had a cold once, it was kind of nice not getting sick every month this year

2021: No, it’s the longest time I’ve ever gone without getting sick

2022: I finally got a cold again after like 3 years and then got another one a week later

2023: I finally got covid

Liked more than 5 people at the same time? 2015: Not seriously. I had brief little interests that overlapped but I don’t think more than 3 at a time that I really liked

2016: Yeah I think so

2017: Not sure

2018: Probably

2019: Not really other than fleeting attractions

2020: No

2021: I don’t think 5

2022: Not 5

2023: No

Became closer with a lot of people? 2015: A few

2016: Not really

2017: A couple

2018: A few

2019: With a couple people

2020: With my boyfriend

2021: No

2022: A few

2023: A couple

Song that reminds you of summer 2015/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23? 2015: Can’t Help Falling In Love

2016: Bring Him Home

2017: In A Crowd of Thousands

2018: Moving Out

2019: Some jewish song?

2020: Epiphany

2021: Dangerous to Dream

2022: Anything by AJR because I saw them in concert

2023: Long Live

Lost any friends this year? 2015: Yes. One because she was a bitch

2016: A friend died in April, and I found out about it in June. I don’t know how he died, we had not been close in awhile

2017: Temporarily

2018: My last roommates

2019: Not really

2020: Probably my roommates

2021: Not really I don’t think

2022: Not really

2023: Not really

When people say, “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever talked shit about anyone” do you think it’s possible? 2015: Possibly but probably not likely. For awhile I used to think I wasn’t judgmental before I realized I actually am

2016: Unlikely. I’m petty af now

2017: Probably not

2018: Probably not, they probably do even if they don’t mean to

2019: Probably not

2020: Probably not

2021: Probably not unless they have some toxic positivity issues

2022: Doubtful

2023: Doubtful, but some people think in fundamentally different ways than I do

How do you feel about gay marriage? 2015: So glad it’s legal!

2016: Same

2017: Same

2018: It’s great!

2019: Great!

2020: Great!

2021: Love it

2022: Lov it

2023: Love it

Give me a random lyric from the song you’re listening to: 2015: I can’t really make out lyrics

2016: I’m not listening to anything

2017: I’m not listening to anything

2018: I’m not listening to anything

2019: Not listening to anything

2020: If the shoe fits, walk in it Til your high heels break

2021: Not listening to anything

2022: I’m not listening to anything

2023: It's an ad

Do you think you’re approachable? 2015: Not as much as I would like to be

2016: Haven’t solved this problem yet

2017: Not as much as I would like to be

2018: Not as much as I would like to be

2019: Only by customers

2020: Not lately, I would like it if people did not approach me

2021: Not really

2022: Not really

2023: Not really, I wish I was

Do you make sexual innuendos about everything? 2015: Kinda

2016: Not as much as I used to

2017: Only on occasion

2018: Sometimes

2019: Not as much as I used to

2020: Not as much as I used to

2021: Sometimes if I have the right crowd

2022: Yeah I’ve been doing it more again now that I’m comfortable with my friend groups

2023: Sometimes

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? 2015: Not unless it’s like my parents or something

2016: No

2017: Not really

2018: Not really

2019: No

2020: No

2021: Not really

2022: No

2023: Not really, but sometimes I wonder if I share tmi

Who is the last person you texted? 2015: My friend Kylie

2016: My mom

2017: Guacamole

2018: My friend Sara

2019: The art director from the shoot last year

2020: My boyfriend

2021: My mom

2022: Liked a message from my mom

2023: My friend group

Song playing right now? 2015: Because We can

2016: Nothing

2017: Nothing

2018: Nothing, but She Used to be Mine is paused on Spotify

2019: Nothing

2020: Epiphany (but the song that was playing when I answered the lyrics question was Long Story Short)

2021: Nothing

2022: Nothing

2023: Finale B from Rent

[tj-dragonblade]

For the weirdly specific and unrelated asks: 8, 13, 28 please :))

8. do you change into specific clothes for the house when you get home? I've been working from home since 2020 so there isn't much 'getting home' anymore, ahaha. Before that? No. My work wardrobe has been very casual for the last twenty years but even early on I'd maybe take off nylons when I got home on the rare occasions I'd wear a dress.

13. first thing you’re doing in the purge? Assuming this is horror-movie purge-type thing, I will be fleeing civilization and staying away from other people, I guess.

28. last meal on earth? Aw, man. That's a tough call. Uhm. Ahhh. Proooooobably pasta with the richest alfredo sauce, parm/romano/asiago blend all over top, loaded with shrimp and broccoli and mushrooms sauteed in...in something savory and delectable. Soft warm crusty bread. Not a wine person; what will I drink with this? IDK. And for dessert, the richest creamiest chocolate mousse, perhaps.

weirdly specific unrelated asks

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Maybe a peek?

Omgggg that was my ask!! Why am I blushing and feeling so special!! When I sent that I was like does that make sense in the context of making desserts? I’m glad you understood me. Anyways!! Even just a sneak peek has me thirsting for more. Like how does Steve act around the reader that has Bucky pissed. You know she’s taking care of Bucky after a hard day and you know she’s serving both of the men when they watch their baseball? (Idk what those oldies watch) in the man cave. Definitely seems like she would sit on his lap so he could keep her from others. Regardless this was so nice!! Loved itttt

Yeah, I just was vibing. Hope you don't mind if I go off again...

Three's Company

Sequel to Just Desserts

No explicit warnings but you know the tone of my work. Bucky is a big jealous baby.

Please let me know what you think <3

🍫🍫🍫

You take a breath before you tap the door with your foot. Bucky calls for you to enter and you push through with your shoulder.

The two men sit on the couch as the television blares out the commentary of the game. Bucky has his beer against the leather arm and Steve rests his on his jeans as their eyes are transfixed to the runner on screen.

You come around and set a bowl on either end table stood around the couch. As you place Bucky’s, his eyes detach from the third base run and his head tilts as the small spoon clinks against the brim.

“Oh, mousse,” he says, “baby, I thought we were having turnovers. I told Steve.”

“It’s fine,” Steve’s bottle clinks on the end table at his elbow and he takes the bowl, “I like chocolate.”

“Mm,” Bucky clamps his lips together as he holds your gaze, “but we just bought apples. We can’t have them going to waste.”

You stare silently. Had he not dragged you home at the mention of the desserts? Your ass still strung from that lesson. You make yourself smile.

“I could whip some up still,” you offer.

“Don’t bother,” Bucky waves you off, “maybe next time, huh, Steve?”

“Sure,” Steve answers with a full mouth and sucks the spoon clean, “you know me, sweetheart,” he speaks to you, “you got that magic touch. My girl could use a few lessons.”

“Your girl,” Bucky huffs and grabs your hand, “come here, baby.”

He tugs you towards him and guides you around, easing you down into his lap. Steve hardly seems bothered by the act as you balance on a thick thigh. Bucky grabs his bowl and leans forward as he awkwardly shifts it between his hands and offers it for you to hold. You do obediently and he lifts the spoon.

“You’ve been working so hard, you should get to enjoy some, hm, baby?” Bucky scoops up a heap and hovers it before your mouth. “I’m sure it’s just as sweet as you.”

You open your mouth and he shoves the spoon inside. You close your lips and lick off the mousse as he slowly withdraws the silver. As he does, Steve looks over and clears his throat, watching as your lips cling to the spoon. His blue eyes twinkle.

“Speaking of the girl,” Steve grits, “this game better not go past the ninth. It’s been a long week.”

Bucky chuckles and takes a spoonful for himself, sucking it off noisily, “you like it?”

“Hm?” Steve arches a brow curiously.

“The mousse? It’s good, right? Her secret recipe. It’s the only secret I let her keep from me.”

“Yeah, delicious, as always,” Steve sits up straight and squirms on the cushion. He takes a bite as he meets Bucky’s steady stare, “you okay, pal?”

“I’m good, you?” Bucky lets the spoon fall against the bowl and clamps his hand above your knee, dragging it up under your skirt.

“Uh huh,” Steve forces his attention to the TV and spoons up more of the dessert.

“Good,” Bucky leans forward and kisses your shoulder, “she really is tasty, isn’t she?” He purrs, “I mean… the mousse.”

You stare at the bowl and scrape chocolate off the glass and angle it up to his lips. He smiles as your eyes meet and he opens his mouth. He licks clean the spoon deliberately and hums. You feel a twitch against you as he kneads your thigh.

“Yummy,” he growls as you pull the spoon away.

[soleilnomoon]

hello kaia! this is for your 555 follower sticky and sweet event ! congrats !

i would like to order a chocolate mousse, cotton candy, churro, candy necklace, and shortbread cookie with caramel and number 1 from the secret menu. for zoro from one piece. (I am a sucker for him istg.) tysm!

hello, hello! thank you v much (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤ it's all so surreal tbh lmao thank u for being patient, this was a labor of love so to speak (i love zoro too, i'm sure u can tell).

2.5k words, gn reader (no pronouns), nsfw, 18+ mdni, zoro is a dumbass and needs to do better - although, according to him, a lil rough makeup sex is the way to go; feat. a lil jealousy, lots of angst, smut, maybe some fluff if u pretend idk i'm bad at it; also an appearance from sanji!

freshly baked cupcakes sit on a large tray on the kitchen table; you watch, in awe as he prepares the frosting — swift, precise, and graceful. you wish you had an ounce of his talent, even mumble that when you attempt to sample a cupcake. because he is so apt at detecting movement in his kitchen, without looking over his shoulder, he scolds you.

“y/n… you can’t have one yet. they’re too hot.” 

you roll your eyes and leave the cupcake alone, sighing loudly, dramatically drumming your nails against the table, which earns you a few chuckles from the skilled chef as he puts frosting into individual piping bags. you suppose he has a point; why bother consuming the small piece of cake without any toppings? you’re not luffy, you can keep your urges at bay — for the most part.

“it’s taking too long,” you whine and hop up from the chair you previously occupied, needing something to do with your hands. “can i help?” normally, you just watch; you know he’s particular about his craft and rarely lets anyone assist him, but he seems to be in a charitable mood, so he extends a smaller piping bag for you to practice with.��

after fooling around for a few minutes, you get the hang of things, and sanji allows you to frost the first batch of cupcakes without assistance. before you’re allowed to touch anything else, he makes you thoroughly clean your hands and even goes so far as to inspect them afterwards. you don’t take offense to it, of course — it’s a habit of his. he likes things tidy and safe; he doesn’t need anyone getting sick on his watch. 

“don’t rush,” he warns when you squeeze the bag too hard, “be gentle. consider them as delicate creatures that need to be handled gently.” you blink repeatedly, let out a loud laugh, which causes his cheeks to flush a dark shade of pink. 

“sorry, sorry. i’m not laughing at you, not really.”

the pout on his face means he doesn’t believe you, but you ignore that and frost the cupcakes under his careful guidance. you struggle with the last one, so he places a hand over yours to steady it, giving you a tip on precision — one he learned many years ago from the surly cook he studied under.

after training in the sun for an extended period of time, roronoa zoro opts to cool off inside by fetching a cold glass of water from the kitchen. brows furrowed closely, he watches how easily you laugh with the idiotic cook, how you haven’t pushed him away from you, how you seem a little too comfortable standing that close to him. as someone who prides himself in keeping his composure, especially under times of duress, this shouldn’t be an issue.

and yet, his irritation seeps out of his pores, follows him as he walks to the refrigerator, guides him as he pulls out the pitcher of water, and instructs him to slam the door once he’s done. both you and sanji look up from the table, startled at his intrusion — but you know that look on his face; something’s pissed him off. you open your mouth to greet him but he breezes past you without glancing your way, confusion swirling inside of you, making you think ridiculous things.

sanji takes note of your deflated expression and the way your lips tug downwards; frowning doesn’t suit you, he decides, but, like you, he’s confused over zoro’s childish behavior. you don’t question him when he pats your head gently, murmurs that you can take as many cupcakes as you like — which does perk you up a bit — before his long legs carry him outside of the kitchen and over to the one place he knows zoro is probably holed up in.

zoro is in the middle of a one-armed push up when sanji finds him.

while he knows the swordsman hates having his sanctuary desecrated by the stench of sanji’s cigarettes, he lets it slide; he’s too worked up.

his voice is gruff when he asks, “what do you want?”

sanji exhales deeply, sliding a free hand into his pocket as he leans against the wall closest to the door. “you’re an idiot, you know that?”

a scoff tumbles out of zoro’s mouth and he keeps on with his pushups. it’s not uncommon for them to bicker out of nowhere, but he’s in the middle of training and doesn’t have time to listen to whatever fanciful stories the cook has for him today.

“anything else?” he stands up and stretches his arms before heading to the weight bench.

a vein bulges on the side of sanji’s head at zoro’s ignorance. “y/n wanted to bake something special for you,” he starts, voice even and calm as he speaks in between puffs of his cigarette, “but as you know, none of you are close to my skill level, so i did most of the work.” zoro blinks, stupidly, at his crew mate, eye narrowing as he contemplates his statement. “also… something about an anniversary? i’m not sure.” which is a bold-faced lie, but zoro doesn’t need to know that. 

maybe if he lights a fire under his ass, zoro might grow a clue.

despite being one of the more perceptive members of your crew, zoro is hopeless when it comes to romance and communicating his feelings. you know that, you understand it, even — the rejection hurts all the same. you’ve eaten five cupcakes and are on your sixth when you decide to take a bath and soak away all of the negativity. 

a heavy knock against the bathroom door shakes you out of your thoughts; you assume whoever it is, they’ll go away once they realize it’s occupied. the knocking persists even after you yell “what?”, even after you climb out of the large bathtub and throw a fluffy towel around your body, and when you yank the door open, you’re fully prepared to tell them off but hesitate when you see that it’s him.

he stares at you for a moment — watches the way water drips down your neck and onto your chest, how you shift to pull the towel around you tighter as your hand grips the door handle tightly. it takes everything in you to not slam the door in his face; but you won’t, you can’t. it wouldn’t be right, and you, at the very least, have a bit more tact than he’ll ever have.

you raise a brow, annoyance simmering deep inside of you, desperate to climb out — but you push it down, as far as you can. you won’t let your emotions get the best of you. because if you do, you’re not sure if you’ll ever be able to salvage things with him.

he opens his mouth, but closes it just as quickly, the words he saved for his apology lodged tightly in the back of his throat, paralyzed due to his inaction. you place a hand on your hip and roll your eyes when he still doesn’t say anything.

“know what? forget it. i can’t do this right now. i’m in the middle of a bath.” it’s quite obvious that you were, but you still feel the need to say it; and even then you hold out for zoro to say something. he runs a hand down his face, exhaling his frustrations — with himself, with you, with the meddlesome cook — half-expecting you to fuss at him all over again. but when you don’t, he considers leaving you to your bath, maybe he can try again another time.

his hesitation makes you snap, and before you can stop yourself, your mouth is on the move again. 

“coward.”

the word cuts into his skin, halts his movements entirely; there’s a sliver of rage, but it’s mostly confusion mixed with anguish at your terseness. it’s his fault, really, and he’s coming to terms with that, but still, he never thought you out of everyone important in his life would ever call him cowardly.

while you expected to feel some sort of elation at having the last word, you don’t. there’s a heaviness that you desperately want to get rid of, so you move to the side and motion for him to come in. this time, he doesn’t hesitate, especially as he closes the door behind him and reaches a large, tanned hand out to grab onto your arm.

you try to keep your head clear, but whenever you’re this close to him, it’s like your body has an agenda of its own. his grip is firm, hand rough against your skin, but you like it — a lot more than you’re willing to admit right now. he struggles, again, to get the right words out, and while you want to stay mad at him, you can’t. his brows slope downward as he attempts to formulate a coherent enough response for you, but you stop him.

“you’re an idiot,” you say with a nod; he grunts but reluctantly agrees with your opinion, his gaze softening as you take a step closer to him. “and, you’re going to make it up to me.” because you don’t like him jumping to conclusions without properly talking to you; although, you suppose the way you and sanji were standing together might have seemed intimate. you sort of understand his line of thinking, and in hindsight, everything about it is so damn silly. 

“also,” you turn and wrap your arms around him, press your cheek against his firm chest, “you’re the reason why i ate five cupcakes in a row.” your cheeks flush at the confession, and he chuckles as he moves a hand to the back of your neck.

“does that mean you need to burn off the calories?”

you whip your head to stare at him and slap a hand on his arm, his audacity shocking you into silence, until you take in the heated look he gives you. oh. oh. you hadn’t realized what he meant and took his words literally; again, your cheeks flush terribly, making it impossible to look at him. “you’re the worst,” you mumble, feeling bashful for some reason, which only encourages him to tease you some more.

“i’ve been told that a lot, lately.” mostly by you, but he takes each jab as words of endearment, really. and even though you really don’t like how vulnerable you feel right now, you’re happy that you’re finally on the same page as him. your towel falls to the floor, but you don’t bother picking it up. instead, you lose bits of your resilience when zoro pulls you in for a kiss, the residual sweetness from the cupcakes you inhaled earlier still on your tongue. he’s never been a big fan of baked goods or overly sweet things, but he loves kissing you — and, more importantly, tasting you. 

breathing becomes irrelevant, as you press your body closer, desperate to consume him the way he consumes you. you’re well-aware there’s something bizarre with that line of thinking, but your logic doesn’t function properly when zoro kisses you like it’s the only thing that makes sense to him. everything about you is soft and delicate — reminding him of one of those cute pastries that sanji whips up to impress the others — almost as if he could easily break you in half without trying. 

but when your curious hands slide in between you and rub against his growing erection, he remembers that you’re not at all what you seem; much more impish than innocent — sassy and extremely playful. you tug on his sweatpants impatiently, bringing it lower until you pull out his cock. he pulls away briefly, breath ragged as he pushes you against the wall, hand moving around to firmly squeeze around your throat.

you gasp in surprise, but his mouth is on you almost immediately — all tongue and teeth, roughly tugging and licking, your body yearning for more. you fuss with the remainder of his clothes and when they’re cast aside on the floor, he presses kiss after kiss along your jaw, your neck — bite marks visible along your clavicle and chest. you know there will be bruises later, but you don’t care. you stroke his cock, enjoying the way his hips jut forward at your touch, his moans quiet, but loud enough to send shivers down your body. 

his hands settle on your ass and you wrap your legs around him when he picks you up, peppering kisses on his face, dragging your tongue down the length of his throat, biting him back and sucking on the skin. his cock is thick and heavy against you, and you’re not sure what possesses you, but you greedily whisper, “hurry,” against his lips. zoro lines the tip of his cock with your entrance, both of you pausing as he inches inside of you. pressing you against the wall, he thrusts into you once, pulling back before thrusting into you again. you let out a strangled cry, nails clawing at his back as you moan his name repeatedly, hips rolling as his thrusts get harder. he knows he should probably slow down, take his time with you, but he’s too far gone and you’re experiencing too much bliss — the high from zoro fucking you will last for hours, it’s why you let him have his way.

but, since he feels a little bad about earlier, he presses his lips to your ear, telling you that you’re doing so well and fuck, you feel so damn good and also you can take a little more, i know you can. his words infiltrate your body, settle in your mind, covering you in a lust-filled haze, one that burns you relentlessly. skin slick with sweat, you clench around his thick cock, small bursts of pleasure erupting within both of you at the sensation. zoro powers into you, ferocious and unapologetic, hips rocking against yours as his cock kisses a spot that’s far enough to have you in tears, thighs trembling under his firm grip, his fingers digging into your plush skin. what pushes you over the edge is the tender way he’s kissing you, and maybe it feels a little romantic to simultaneously cum at the same time as him. 

you should feel a bit of shame for the lewd way you keep clenching around him, but you don’t; and how could you? you like him and he likes you, that’s all there is to it.

you’re an intoxicating fixture in his life, one that has him acting up from time to time — it’s not because he doesn’t trust you, but rather he thinks you’re too damn good for him; and maybe you are, but you still want to be with him all the same, his rugged demeanor has grown on you, his brutal honesty an admirable trait that you won’t find with anyone else. you know it’s not love, and you’re not cynical enough to call it obsession, but it’s a mix between the two, one that is overly complicated for everyone outside of your relationship to try and understand. 

thankfully, they don’t bother you too much about it, and since zoro hates explaining himself, they don’t bother him about it either.

[driedlemonz]

Hello!!:DD What do you think the Octonauts would be like as characters in Cookie Run?

Ooo okie I've had a few written down from before >:3

starting off w everyone's fav polar bear

Barnacles- Blueberry Shaved Ice

Kwazii- Strawberry Swirl Pie

Peso- Pingüïnos (one of my fav snacks)

Shellington- Cinnamon Porridge

Dashi- Hazelnut Coffee

Tweak- Carrot Cake lol

Inkling- Definitely Kashmiri Tea

Vegimals- hmm they can be vitamin gummies? Idk some type of gummy atleast

And some extras!!

Paani- some type of cheesecake maybe mango cheesecake

Ryla- hm ube ice cream nomnom

Min- Atole!! bc yez

Ranger Marsh- Mint n Chocolate chip mousse, never had mousse before but it makes sense in my brain

Calico Jack- Mazapan!! Also fav snac

Koshi- S'mores soundsgood for her

Pinto- Un Buñuelo numnum

Pearl and Periwinkle- Some type of swiss roll, peri can be a mini version lol

Tracker- Idk why but Snicker Doodle is the only thing I can think of for him

Natquik- Ice cube, no other explanation just ice cube

[heysillybee]

Tagged by @aegosexual-moments [thank you :) ]

Favorite time of the year: depends on the criteria lol. I like the end of the year simply bc it means vacations + I like that feeling of a fresh new start. Summer, however… is hell. I hate it. So for vibes dec/jan and for weather around may, bc that’s when it gets chilly here

Comfort food: probably cake (w/o frosting, usually) but tbqh I don’t have a very specific food for comfort. It varies depending on what I’m feeling atm lol (chocolate milk as well, but I don’t drink it that much anymore)

Favorite dessert: probably lemon pie or lemon mousse

Things you collect: manga! Not a big collection but it’s there

Favorite drink: not a big drink person (w or w/o alcohol). Maybe Swiss lemonade?? For alcohol it might be Piña colada (idk I don’t drink too often)

Favorite musical artist: probably mxmtoon

Last song you listened to: I can’t remember exactly which one so I’m putting the cover of As the world caves in

Last movie you watched: Pirates of the Caribbean (something about the Black Pearl, I can’t remember the title rn)

Last series you watched: I assume it’s the last one I finished? If it is, then Carmen Sandiego

Series you’re currently watching: The Arcane

Current obsession: idk if I’m feeling strongly about anything in my life honestly. Iwaoi is running in my mind rent free all the time, so I guess it’s them…?

A dream place to visit: Japan, maybe Norway

A place you’d like to go back to: …New York, maybe? Idk, I don’t wanna visit places atm, I wanna meet new ones

Something you want: energy and peace of mind lol my brain has been buzzing… I want to work on projects again :(

(For tangible things, I think Breath of the Wild?? I’ve been wanting to play it for a while)

Currently working on: I have a story idea running around in my head for some months now, but writing it has been veeeery slow. Also I’d like to finish an Iwaoi crack fic I started a while ago

Tagging some people that (briefly) interacted with me, if you guys don’t wanna do it it’s fine, no hard feelings

Tagging some people (but you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to)

@i-worship-akaashi @tendou-satori-chocolatier @tooruking @ricearoniaddict

[angelsfckanddevilskss]

12. what's your favourite planet?

41. what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

You're such a sweetheart! Thanks for sending me asks and for being a lovely mutual 💗😊

12 Can I be super cheesy and say earth? Everything is so fucked up here, but we also have kinky sex and koalas and chocolate mousse. Other planets probably don't. But maybe one day we'll make friends with someone from Saturn and get to share the best of our worlds and heal the worst of each others'. [I'm disgustingly idealistic sometimes lol. It's both my best and worst quality].

41. I have a huuuge crush on Halsey and I recently found out that they have a book of poetry. So I had to get my hands on it. So many of the poems are just incredible. She gets me. (Or I get her? We get each other? Idk).

The queer femme experience, the experience of being an artist, surviving assault, being romantically and emotionally and sexually entangled with people of different genders and how wonderful that is but how sometimes it really hurts too. But at the same time, you can't get enough so you go back for more.

I'm awful at writing book reviews, especially because when a book is particularly moving, it stays with you, and that is nearly impossible to put into words. I hope that came even the tiniest bit close to doing it justice! 💗

[dex-xe]

What would u feed the ghosts if they came over for dinner? AU where they can eat.

Oh this is such a brilliant question!! I love this!! I’m gonna plan like a meal and the dessert and some drinks,, I know fuck all about food and all that so this is just gonna be so random.

Robin - Boy he needs a steak. Steak, chips, and some kinda vegetable he wouldn’t eat. (I’d eat the veg tho cause I’m practically a rabbit) He’d also love some ice cream I reckon,, strawberry specifically he’s a strawberry ice cream man.

Humphrey - Humphrey is a chicken and mushrooms kinda guy and then he would demolish an apple pie. And obviously he’s a wine guy (I know fuck all about wine but he’s a wine guy)

Mary - Something hearty and warm,, casserole. I love a casserole I know that’s an unpopular opinion but I really do and I think Mary would too. And then a chunky cake obviously. And cider,, because West Country.

Kitty - Something chill and less formal. Omelette?? fuck this is making me sooooo hungry. I love an omelette and we know Kitty didn’t like eggs the first time she had them but just try my cheese omelette , Kitty. It’s wonderful!! And she’d love an ice lolly. A choc ice!! Good god I want a choc ice now. And then Victorian lemonade.

Thomas - Curry. Spices to blow his little regency mind. Watching Thomas eat something spicy would be sooooo funny!! He’s also a meringue guy,, I don’t know what that means but he’s a meringue guy. I would however get him mad drunk cause that’d be hilarious

Fanny - I would show her the delicacies of working class cuisine. Scotch egg,, she’d be so pretentious but you’re getting a scotch egg and you’ll bloody enjoy it. Maybe a PICNIC!! (“Ladies do not eat finger food on the ground” “yes they do,, park your arse on the rug”). And then little cakes and sparkling lemonade.

Captain - Something rich,, cause I imagine rationing wasn’t fun. A full roast dinner, let’s treat the man. He’d also get a sponge pudding because he deserves all the love in the world and some wine. The Captain tipsy on wine when he starts to get all giddy and smiley.

Pat - Toad in the hole,, definitely!! Literally one of my favourite meals of all time it’s so good man!! And I’m sure Pat loved it in life as well. I think he’d also have a really sweet tooth,, something like chocolate mousse idk. And a pint. Man deserves a pint so badly,, get Pat to the pub 2k21!!

Julian - Pasta of some kinda,, something very Italy. European just to piss him off. Green pasta maybe,, fuck I want green pasta so so so badly rn. It’s 1am and I’m starving here boys!! And then apple tart,, cause Europe. And a French wine.

I’m so hungry,, but boy I really like thinking about these things. Hc Are so fun, i love doing this :) Thank you Anon!!

[sayosdreams]

Drops of Sapphire

Word Count: 1549

ACOTAR Masterlist

__________

A/N: idk I was bored and wanted to write some angst but I was also impatient so I just wrote it in one sitting? No idea how good or bad this is sorry

She hated that she was lying to him. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day.

He’d smile at her and tell her about his plans for their future and she’d nod along. “Y’okay, babe?” her boyfriend called from their bedroom.

No, she wasn’t okay. She was breaking- broken on the inside in so many ways.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied, her voice as cheerful as she could manage.

“Are you sure you’re not too tired?”

Even Cassian had noticed that she’d been tired recently. She told him it was because of stress from work, but she had no idea if he believed her.

“No, I’m fine,” she repeated, dabbing more blush onto her cheeks. When had she gotten so pale and sullen? She grabbed the sapphire drop earrings Cassian had given her for their third anniversary put them on. It matched the dark blue gown she wore. The gown, which had once fit her snugly but now was slightly loose, still looked great on her.

Cassian had informed her that they were going to La Petite Sorcière tonight — their favorite fancy restaurant.

Maybe tonight she’d work up the courage to tell him.

They got into Cassian’s car, a dark red Nissan Altima, and drove off into the night. Cassian turned on the radio— and promptly turned up the volume. Party In the USA blasted from their speakers and Cassian began singing the lyrics at the top of his lungs. The contrast of them in their fancy clothes going to one of the fanciest restaurants in Velaris and the pop song blasting from their car like they were teenagers using their parent’s car to drive with their friends for the first time made Nesta laugh.

She hadn’t laughed like that — so carefree — in a while.

She’d found out ten months ago. It was always the wrong time: his birthday, Christmas, New Years, her sister getting married to his best friend, her birthday… At some point, she’d begun to tell herself that maybe she didn’t have to tell him.

It was easier this way – to pretend like it was all going to be just fine. Ignoring her problems didn’t make them go away, but it didn’t hurt, either.

She told herself that it was better this way.

There was no need to hurt him like this. No need for him to grieve her while she was still here. She told herself that when the time came, she’d tell him. If not, she could break up with him. As if she’d find the strength to give him up when time only made her more and more attached — more and more in love.

They had been dating for five years now, and living together for two. She had never loved anyone the way she loved Cassian. He was everything to her — watching him in pain brought her pain, watching him smile made her heart smile. Yet now that she knew her fate, she felt that every day she was with him was just another day of torture — not for her, but for him. She knew that later on in life, he’d look back at their time together and feel only sadness and pain.

Cassian had never met his father was and his mother had died when he was only 13. He’d spent time in foster care, with many unkind families who used him just to get money. He’d already been through so much.

But she was too selfish to let him go just yet. She wanted to cherish whatever time they had left.

They sat down at their favorite table at La Petite Sorcière and ordered their favorite dishes.

They talked about work and their friends and the books they’d been reading and what countries they wanted to visit someday. It was hard for her to keep her face impassive at the last one, but she did her best.

The waiter brought out their dessert — two slices of chocolate cake with raspberry mousse filling, adorned with a tiny strawberry champagne-flavored macaron on top. Then, he served their drinks — rose tea. Nesta had started eating their delicious dessert (coming to this restaurant always seemed to revive her appetite — too bad it was so expensive) when Cassian gently grasped her left hand and intertwined their fingers.

“Nesta,” he said softly. “I met you seven years ago at Rhys and Feyre’s Christmas Party. From the moment I saw you, I knew that you were the most beautiful woman in the world. Talking to you only confirmed that.”

Nesta raised an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Cassian chuckled. “I do remember that we argued. But you were so passionate and strong — hell, that argument was probably when I started to fall in love with you. So then we slowly became friends and then I finally got you to agree to go on a date with me and the best five years of my life began. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Nesta replied quietly. Her eyes were beginning to sting, like tears were going to form against her will.

Cassian smiled tenderly, his eyes softer than she’d ever seen. “Each day I spend with you, I fall more in love. I go to sleep with you in my arms, and I think that this is the most love I can ever feel — then I wake up the next morning, the sunlight making your hair glitter and your skin glow like the goddess that you are, and realize that I love you so much more. Before I found you, I was a playboy looking for fun and hiding my real self. I thought my past had ruined me so that I couldn’t love — at least not like this. I never thought I’d meet my soulmate but Nesta, that’s what you are.”

A tear slid down her cheek. God, why was he being so nice to her? Every loving word, every adoring glance, and every rub of his thumb against her hand reminded her that she was a horrible person for not telling him her secret.

“I love you and I can’t imagine my life without you. Hell, I don’t think my life would be worth living without you.”

Fuck, no. Don’t say that, she wanted to yell, but her throat was clogged with tears.

“I want to spend every waking moment with you — and the ones when we’re asleep, too. I want to explore the world with you and read books with you and laugh and cry and smile with you. So Nesta,” he removed his hand from hers, and took something out of his pocket.

What was he doing? It was some kind of small box.

He opened it.

“Will you marry me?”

A sparkling sapphire ring lay in the box.

Nesta couldn’t answer. Tears streamed down her face. This evening was everything she wanted in a proposal. She once told Cassian that if someone proposed to her, she wanted it to be in a restaurant. She had later informed him that rose tea was the most romantic tea and the first time they had come to La Petite Sorcière, she had told him that her favorite cake was the chocolate with raspberry mousse but that she usually ordered the strawberry shortcake because it came with the strawberry-champagne flavored macaron she loved. While watching a rom com, she had mentioned that proposing over a meal was romantic, but putting the actual ring in the food was disgusting.

In short, Cassian had taken every single comment she’d ever made and turned it into the perfect proposal.

Too bad she would have to say no.

“Cassian,” she managed to whisper through her tears. “I- I can’t.”

His smile faded slowly. “What?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” She wiped her face off with one hand and exited the restaurant as fast as she could without running.

Cassian remained in his seat shell shocked. After a few minutes (or maybe an hour, he really had no idea), he paid the bill and wandered outside but Nesta was long gone.

He drove home, hoping he’d find her there, but she didn’t come home that night.

Perhaps he had been too hasty. He shouldn’t have pushed her— he shouldn’t have proposed. He knew that her job had been difficult recently, and maybe she didn’t want to have the added stress of planning a wedding. He should’ve checked first.

But he’d wanted to be romantic — and had ended up losing her.

He’d ruined the best thing he’d ever had.

__________

She rode in the cab in numb silence.

Her tears had stopped. Instead, the rain outside cried for her.

She should have told Cassian the truth.

Ten months ago, she’d been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It was already too late. It had progressed too much for them to even hope of curing it. They told her that her chances of being alive in five years was less than 7%. They estimated that if she was lucky, she’d have three years left.

Except that now, with two years and two months left, she had no idea what to do with her life — because she’d lost the one thing that made her life worth living: Cassian.

__________

Permanent taglist: @grandma-noob-lord // @thewayshedreamed // @courtofjurdan // @maastrash // @awesomelena555 // @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter // @iammissstark // @cass-nes // @perseusannabeth // @bookstantrash // @stardelia // @b00kworm // @ghostlyrose2​ // @sjmships​ // @a-omgnaomithings-love​